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I’m sorry to come to you like this since you probably wanted someone to come in for a reason for hope but I’m freaking out and have no one to talk to about this rn. A music artist I follow put this stuff in their story on instagram..how are things getting better??? I’m so confused and scared. I’m terrified to be alive. I should’ve died in election night. Idk if I can do this anymore. I don’t want the world to end nor live in an apocalypse/dystopia. I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I’m going to die before I even reach the age of 25 or 30 instead of dying of old age😥😥😥😥😥
First, breathe.
Second:
Go read these links. Keep going down the list until you feel better:
Read:
this article* on why the doomers are wrong
everything in Fix the News's awesome year-end roundup of good news
everything in my masterpost on why we're going to beat climate change
everything from my masterpost on net negative carbon emissions
everything in Fix the News's archives, until you feel better
*it's a fantastic article in many ways but warning for (brief but serious) fatphobia and some annoying Western-centrism
You should not have died on election night. Absolutely not. Yes, there are great injustices in the world. But this too shall pass. Literally everything does.
Some notes:
This isn't the end of the world. It's not about to be an apocalypse. And, if the world wasn't a dystopia when half of all people died before the age of 15 (aka all of history until the past 250 years), it's definitely not a dystopia now, imho. (x, x)
Literally every single week on Fix the News, I see the news that some country has ended some disease! Usually I see multiple stories about that each week! We're making real progress that has saved billions of lives!
In 1900, 120 years ago, there were 5 full liberal democracies in the entire world. Now, about 97 countries (out of approximately 195, depending on how you count) are democracies. That's almost half the countries in the world! This is actually, writ large, a time of massive expansion of human rights, hard as it is to believe from looking at the news. (x, x)
Also Imho the most likely explanation to the Fermi Paradox is that we're only 0.13% of the way through expected lifespan of the universe (x, x). Very little time for life to evolve, comparatively.
Finally:
Unfollow this person. Unfollow everyone who posts something that makes you feel suicidal - literally and ongoingly, every time you see a post that makes you spiral, immediately unfollow that person.
It's not about sticking your head in the sand. If you want, you can calendar time to check ACTUAL news sources (NOT social media) a couple times a week to make sure you're staying up on things.
But you know what? The number one priority is keeping yourself alive.
How are things actually getting better? To quote the first article I linked:
"I could tell you that a little more than 200 years ago, nearly half of all children born died before they reached their 15th birthday, and that today it’s less than 5 percent globally. I could tell you that in pre-industrial times, starvation was a constant specter and life expectancy was in the 30s at best. I could tell you that at the dawn of the 19th century, barely more than one person in 10 was literate, while today that ratio has been nearly reversed. I could tell you that today is, on average, the best time to be alive in human history."
Stay alive. And do what you need to do to keep yourself that way.
#strawberryraviegutz#ask#cw suicidal ideation#life#hope#hope for humanity#hope posting#us politics#uh very sincere apologies if you wanted me to answer this privately
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✗ blood in the clouds ✗ | KIM HONGJOONG
pairings ✃ mafia leader! hongjoong x flight attendant! fem! reader
genre ✃ mafia au, non-idol au, SLOW BURNN
synopsis ✃
it’s finally your last day as a flight attendant. you wanted nothing more than to laze on your couch and watch netflix - just to find out that one of your passengers blew out the brains of your pilot with a gun.
in which hongjoong hijacks a plane that his rival’s daughter is on.
w.c ✃ 10.5k (yes im a yapper im sorry)
c.w ✃ dark themes, vivid descriptions of gore, guns and knives, kiss scene but no smut, use of the nickname ‘brat’, ‘pretty’ and ONE TIME - ‘princess’, your dad’s a dick oops, vulgar language, reader is smart
author’s note: this is the first oneshot of my mafia series! yes it is long but i promise you that it does eat and that you’ll enjoy it. remember to reblog and comment if you enjoyed, any and all feedback helps!
not proofread!
masterlist
white clouds drifted by the airplane window as the sky turned from a soft blue to a deep orange.
it would’ve been a pretty sight if it weren’t for the gun to your head.
you’d called in sick or put in your two weeks notice earlier if this was how your last day of being a flight attendant would end - but apparently, life hates you too much to let you catch a break.
HOUR 1 OF 7 - TAKEOFF
‘god- i can’t take this anymore,’ you thought to yourself. you hated waiting, despised it actually.
after today, no more jet lag, rushed goodbyes or missing celebrations. you can finally unpack that suitcase for good, find someplace quiet and actually live in it. the thought alone was enough to keep you excited, but something bothered you at the back of your mind.
this trip didn’t feel right.
it wasn’t the plane itself, but your passengers? only 2 showed up in a plane that could seat at least 50 people.
not that you were complaining. fewer passengers meant less work - which was a good thing.
but the uneasiness you felt kept rising in your chest, no matter the times you tried to push it down.
‘just 6 more hours,’ you thought. ‘then this will all be behind me.’
HOUR 2 OF 7 - MEALTIME
meal service started like any other: boring.
after handing out the trays, you pushed the trolley back to its place and returned with beverages. you plastered on your most professional smile as you walked over to your passengers. “would you like a drink?”
the man with sunglasses turned to you lazily, his eyes shifting from the trolley to your face. “what do you have?”
you sighed, quietly but deeply. you had that stupid list engraved into your mind by now. “water, coffee, tea, coke, spri-”
“-do you have alcohol?” he cut you off.
your eye twitched. this dickhead.
first of all, he interrupted you. and secondly, you didn’t mention the alcohol on purpose. it was stored at the back of the plane and you did not have the energy to drag it out.
“uh hongjoong- i mean, boss-“ the guy next to him whispered hurriedly. “i don’t think that’s a good idea-“
“-i think it is,” hongjoong interrupted before turning back to you. “where’s the menu?”
you gave him a forced smile as you pushed the alcohol menu towards him. he took his time with it, flipping through the pages slowly before finally saying, “two shots of whiskey.”
“sure thing,” you snatched the menu back. with a swift turn, you fetched the whiskey and the glasses, returning back to his seat.
you poured and placed the two shots on his tray table. he took the glass and drank it in one go, setting it back down with a thud.
hongjoong then turned his head towards you, eyebrows raised. “what?”
you blinked. ‘what’? just ‘what’? where's the ‘thank you’?
you were losing your mind.
“nothing,” you muttered through clenched teeth, moving away before he could ask for anything else.
grade A asshole.
HOUR 4.5 OF 7 - POINT OF NO RETURN
the shitty in-flight wifi was a joke as always. why did you even try?
with an annoyed sigh, you shoved your phone into your back pocket when suddenly-
static.
its piercing sound followed by faint garbled voices on the intercom startled you. you frowned as the sound continued, getting louder and more distorted.
with a groan, you stood up, straightening your uniform. ‘what are they doing?’ you thought as you walked towards the cockpit.
but when you passed by the first-class cabin, you paused. the seats were empty. both passengers were gone. ‘weird…’
things only got weirder as you approached the unlocked cockpit door.
concerned, you pushed it open.
the smell hit you first - a metallic tang that twisted your stomach.
then your eyes caught up.
blood splattered the walls and windows in chaotic streaks, dripping down to the controls and the carpeted floor. the pilot and co-pilot laid in a gruesome pile to the side, the jagged holes in their skulls grotesque.
a guy sat at the controls, steering the plane as though he wasn’t surrounded by horrors.
grade A asshole- no, hongjoong, sat cross-legged on the floor, his sunglasses shattered at his feet. a gun rested in his hand and his lips curled into a smirk as he watched you enter.
“you’ve got to be kidding me..” you breathed out.
pieces of brain and organ matter clung to the control panel as a simple blinking green light above that indicated that everything was, somehow, still functioning.
hongjoong tilted his head, amused. the gun shifted to point at what you now noticed was the crumpled bodies of your pilots, their faces mangled in unrecognisable masses of flesh and bone.
“these your friends?”
you shook your head as you stepped back, wiping your sweaty hands on your uniform. hongjoong seemed to enjoy your reaction, his grin widening into something sickening.
he smirked. “don’t worry, i won’t spoil that pretty face of yours.”
you coughed at the wretched smell as the crimson-stained carpet squelched beneath your heels, your mind begging you to leave.
“well-” you said, turning to the door. “i’m sure you don’t need me here, i’ll just-”
an audible click cut you off.
you froze.
slowly, you turned back to see a gun aimed directly at you.
“leaving so soon?” he raised an eyebrow. “let’s talk.”
HOUR 5 OF 7 - SKYDIVING DOESN’T SEEM TOO BAD
hongjoong dragged you to the first-class section to ‘talk’. it was the first time you’ve ever sat there and to be completely honest, this was not how you imagined yourself ‘enjoying’ it.
well, not like it mattered. you had other issues - like handcuffs locking you to the chair.
he stood infront of you, one hand gripping the gun while the other held a file. “‘____’, am i right?” he asked.
you nodded slowly. “..that’s me.��
“3.6 GPA in university..” he muttered. “flunked out of med school during your first year..”
..how the hell did he get that information?
“you ended up as a flight attendant because your father owns the airline.”
“..yeah,” you reluctantly admitted, your stomach churning. “uh- was the med school part necessary?”
hongjoong ignored you, flipping to the next page. you watched his eyebrows shoot up as his eyes narrowed. “how close are you with your father?”
you blinked, confused by the weird question. “i mean- he’s my dad,” you replied. “but i haven’t seen him in years.”
“hm,” the sound came from him. hongjoong studied you for a moment longer before he spoke again, but this time, his voice was cold.
“do you know what he’s been doing during those years?”
your brows furrowed. “no, i-”
“killing. my. men.”
you didn’t even have time to process his words because he leaned forward when he said them, the gun uncomfortably close to your face.
you swallowed the lump in your throat. “...are you sure you have the right person?”
his smirk widened into something eerie. “i have a gun pointed to you, don’t i?”
your pulse quickened. you couldn’t decide which was worse: the possibility that he was telling the truth or the fact that he was clearly enjoying your reaction.
“i always wanted to get back at that pig..” he held the gun up to the bottom of your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “and look at how kind the world is- blessing me with his daughter.”
you struggled to breathe, to think. the handcuffs dug into your wrist as you unconsciously tried to break out of them, a clink against the metal arm of the chair.
your voice trembled. “..what do you want from me?”
hongjoong didn’t answer immediately. instead, he leaned in even closer, so close that you could feel your foreheads touching.
“what i want,” he said slowly, eyes locked onto yours. “is for your dad to suffer.”
HOUR 6 OF 7 - SURPRISINGLY ALIVE
the stuffiness of the plane did little to calm your nerves. you sat quietly in the seat, staring at the shattered remains of your phone on the floor.
hongjoong snatched it from your hands a few minutes ago, grumbling about how ‘you don’t need devices’. great. just great.
the sound of the cockpit door creaking open drew your attention. the other guy - or ‘pilot’, stepped out, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. “boss.”
hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “what?”
the ‘pilot’ moved closer to hongjoong, lowering his voice. “air traffic control was notified of our path,” he said quietly. “they know something’s off with the plane, but i have no idea how.”
hongjoong’s eyes darkened as he processed the information. then, he glared at you, like he was accusing you.
you scoffed. “you shot my phone, how would i even contact anyone?”
for a moment, the two of you locked eyes and you swear that you could see him debating whether to believe you.
the ‘pilot’ cleared his throat. “what should we expect?” he asked nervously.
hongjoong leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair. “the police.”
HOUR 7 OF 7 - SHIT IS GETTING REAL
“what the hell…” you whispered to yourself as you peered out of the window.
SWAT teams and federal agents stood in rows, their weapons pointed directly at the plane. flashing lights of red and blue lit up the empty airport.
you turned away from the window, watching hongjoong pull out a burner phone from his jacket. his fingers typed something out before he suddenly snapped the phone in half, tossing the remains on the floor.
“…who are you?” you asked quietly.
he raised an eyebrow. “you don’t need to know, pretty.”
your survival instincts told you to move, to do something. but the second you tried to stand, hongjoong shoved you back down.
“stay seated until we land,” he said before tilting his head. “isn’t that your job?”
you rolled your eyes, gripping the armrests as you tried to calm yourself down and steady your breathing.
but that was when you heard it - gunshots.
“they’re shooting us?” you panicked, flinching with each sound.
no answer.
“hey-“ you tried again, but was cut off by the tires hitting the terrain.
the landing was rough - harsher than anything you’ve experienced as a flight attendant. the plane rattled like never before.
your chest tightened when it rolled over something particularly large. “what was that?” your voice cracked.
no answer.
when the plane finally came to a halt, you barely had time to catch your breath when hongjoong moved. in a blink, he uncuffed you from the chair, only to secure the handcuffs on your wrists once more.
he brought you to your feet, pulling you so close that you could feel his breath against your ear. “don’t do anything stupid,” he hissed.
the cockpit door opened and the ‘pilot’ appeared. he quickly unlocked the emergency exit and you saw the makeshift ramp that had been attached to the side of the plane.
a van rested just outside of it, hongjoong dragging you towards the vehicle. you descended the ramp, the cool air hitting your face as you looked around.
but that was when you saw it.
blood.
on the wheels of the plane, the dark colour leaving a fresh trail on the ground.
“did you..” you gulped, your voice barely above a whisper. “did you run over them?”
hongjoong glanced at you. “i didn’t,” he shrugged. “the plane did.”
you stopped in your tracks, your feet stuck rooted to the ground as you stared at him in horror. how could he say that like it was no big deal? just who was this man?
“move,” hongjoong ordered. but when you didn’t, he clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes. “god- you’re such a brat.”
before you knew it, you were shoved into the back of the van. the ‘pilot’ closed the door with a loud slam and sat in the driver’s seat while hongjoong took the passenger’s seat up front.
you met hongjoong’s eyes through the rearview mirror. his glare was sharp, acting as a warning to keep your mouth shut. you didn’t need to be told twice.
the van drove forward and you caught glimpses of city lights in the distance, slowly growing closer. civilisation - maybe you could get help.
but against your mind’s wishes, you felt your eyelids getting heavy - and you did something that no one should ever do when they’re in a car with armed strangers.
you fell asleep.
HOUR 14 OF 7 - HIP HIP HOORAY YOU’RE NOT DEAD
you heard a voice whine. “why can’t we kill her?”
“do you want boss to kill us?” you heard another reply.
your eyes fluttered open. your head felt heavy as the room came into focus, your stomach twisting.
the space was dingy, poorly lit by a bulb hanging from the ceiling and an unnecessarily tall lamp on the ground. the walls were stained and the air stunk of blood.
you tried to move, only to feel tight ropes against your wrists and ankles. you were tied to a chair.
“i can’t believe we have to babysit the pig’s daughter,” a man with a knife groaned.
“calm down, wooyoung,” the other one sighed.
“calm down?!” wooyoung exclaimed. “yeosang got to fly a plane! how is that fair?”
“he has a license,” the second man rolled his eyes.
“it’s still a plane, jongho-”
“shut up,” jongho interrupted. “the girl’s awake.”
both men turned their heads to look at you, the sudden attention sending a shiver down your spine. wooyoung’s grin stretched across his face as he got to his feet, jongho following behind.
“aw look who’s finally awake,” wooyoung approached, his voice childish. “you slept like a baby- and we didn’t even drug you!”
your heartbeat quickened as he leaned in close, his grin widening as he studied your face.
“i read your file,” he began. “you’re smart…” wooyoung paused, his eyes inspecting you and your ridiculous uniform. “and hot.”
your throat tightened, but you forced yourself to respond. “thank you-?”
“-what’s your favourite feature about yourself?” he asked, twirling the knife in his hands.
“uh-” your mind scrambled for an answer as he got nearer, the knife glinting. “i- my eyes?”
“your eyes,” wooyoung repeated, the grin stuck to his face. “good choice.”
he brought the knife closer, the cold steel trailing down the side of your face. you flinched as the blade hovered near your eye, your breath hitching.
“you’re going to answer all our questions,” he stated, almost in a sing-songy way. “and if you dont-”
he tilted the knife, now directly above your eyeball. “-i’ll dig those lovely pearls out of your sockets.”
your chest tightened, terror paralyzing you from head to toe. you couldn’t even breathe, every cell in your body pleading you to stay still.
“hey-” jongho tapped wooyoung on the shoulder, whispering. “uh.. boss said we can’t scratch her..”
“are you serious?” wooyoung scoffed. “then what’s the point?”
jongho bit the inside of his cheek, avoiding eye contact with his friend.
wooyoung groaned, throwing the knife to the ground with a strength that made it bend. “fuck this- torture isn’t even fun anymore.”
he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
silence was in the air until jongho cleared his throat awkwardly. he turned to face you. “uh..” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.
“change of plans.”
HOUR 15 OF 7 - DAY DRINKING IS FUN
you never imagined yourself in a hideout, drinking vodka with one of your captors - yet here you were.
the whole thing felt absurd: a shaky barstool beneath you and a scuffed counter separating you and jongho. he poured you a shot he claimed was ‘very expensive’, before proceeding to chug most of the vodka from the bottle in a long gulp.
your legs were untied now, though your wrists were still bound, the rope loose enough for your hands to rest infront of you. “what are we waiting for?” you asked. “hongjoong?”
jongho froze, his eyes snapping to yours. “don’t say his name,” he whisper-shouted.
you raised your tied wrists in apology. “okay.. what should i call him?”
“call him boss.. or mr kim.. or anything that isn’t his first name,” jongho said, his words rushed.
you nodded slowly, looking at the man infront of you with mild concern. he looked even more scared than you did.
then suddenly, the door slammed open.
both you and jongho flinched, watching two figures stumble in.
the first was a tall man - storming into the room. the second was him, hongjoong, clutching his side in pain.
“mingi- boss!” jongho panicked instantly as he ran to help the injured man. “holy- you’re hurt!”
“the pig called for backup,” mingi sighed heavily.
you blinked, stunned as the sound of hongjoong coughing violently brought your attention back to the injured man.
blood seeped through his fingers, staining his sleeves and skin. you don’t know what took over you, but you pushed yourself off of the barstool and rushed towards him.
“what do you think you’re doing?” mingi stepped infront of hongjooong, his hand resting on his gun protectively.
you glared at him. “do you want your boss to bleed out?”
mingi studied you. after what felt like ages, he exhaled sharply and stepped aside. “fine,” he muttered, keeping a hand on his weapon.
you knelt next to hongjoong, trying to make him face you as you grabbed his arm. though, he snatched himself away from you quickly.
you rolled your eyes. “i’m trying to help you. let me see it.”
hongjoong’s eyes pierced your soul. you could see the cogs in his head turning on whether he could trust you.
a few moments passed before he finally faced you with a sigh, revealing a large gash on the side of his stomach - a wound created by knife.
“i need water.”
jongho blinked, clearly thrown off. “what?”
“to clean his wound..?” you explained. “get me water. now.”
jongho hesitated before snatching a bottle of water from a mini fridge. he pushed it to you, the little amount of liquid sloshing inside. “you should stay still for this,” you said before slowly pouring the water over the wound.
crap- a gash this big needed a stitch.
“untie me,” you said, holding your wrists up to your captors.
jongho glanced at his boss worriedly for permission. hongjoong gave a small nod and jongho quickly pulled out a small knife to cut the rope.
once free, you quickly looked around for something to stitch his wound with. when nothing looked remotely useful, your eyes dropped to your uniform - a skirt with a yarn trim. it wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do.
you began to unravel the yarn from the hem.
“what are you doing?” mingi asked, frowning.
“stitching him,” you sighed as your fingers worked hurriedly. “or do you want him to get an infection?”
hongjoong let out a groan, shifting uncomfortably. “just hurry.”
you finished unravelling it, but now you needed a needle. your hand instinctively reached up to your hair - pulling out a small bobby pin. it was definitely not as sharp as a needle, but you’re sure that hongjoong can handle his pain.
“shit- i need to sterilise this,” you muttered, mostly to yourself.
“vodka,” jongho said instantly, grabbing the bottle and handing it to you.
you poured the small amount over the pin, letting it drip onto the floor. then, threading the yarn through the makeshift needle, you glanced at hongjoong.
“this will hurt,” you warned.
he looked at you with clenched teeth. “i don’t care.”
you placed a hand on his side to steady him, feeling the tension in his muscles as he tried to not flinch. carefully, you began to stitch the gash, each pull making him wince.
when the stitching was complete, you tied the yarn and tore it off with your teeth - but the wound was still bleeding slightly.
you glanced down at your sleeves. without hesitation, you tore a strip of fabric free. you used it to dab away the excess blood, then folded the remaining fabric to wrap it around his side.
“that should work. for now,” you sat back as you wiped your forehead with your arm.
“...you know how to treat people?” hongjoong asked, wincing slightly.
you nodded slowly. “yeah.. i know the basics.”
“hm,” he tilted his head. “you’re more useful than i thought.”
you blinked. was a good thing or a bad thing?
“wooyoung,” he yelled out.
a loud crash was heard in another room, followed by the muffled sounds of frantic movements. within seconds, wooyoung appeared in the doorway.
“yes, boss?” wooyoung said out of breath, brushing off his shirt as he looked around the room.
hongjoong didn’t respond immediately. instead, he looked you up and down, his lips twitching into what seemed like a smirk. “get her some actual clothes. we have an event to catch.”
HOUR 17 OF 7 - WORDS TALK BUT GUNS TALK LOUDER
“woah..” your eyes took in the building before you. glittering lights and an impressive exterior that was way more extravagant than anything you imagined hongjoong to be involved in.
he parked the car, the engine coming to a stop. before you could say anything, hongjoong stepped out of the car, closing the door shut. you scrambled to follow him, your heels clicking against the pavement as you caught up.
the two of you approached the man stationed at the door - a bouncer with a pen and clipboard.
without warning, hongjoong’s hand snaked around your waist, pulling you snugly against his side. you flinched at the sudden contact, but with how tight his grip was, there was no room for protests.
“ah, mr kim,” the bouncer greeted. “you made it.”
hongjoong offered a brief, fake smile before dropping it immediately. “let us in.”
“hold on now,” the bouncer said, flipping through the papers on the clipboard. “we can’t let her inside.”
hongjoong’s brows furrowed. “why?”
“new policy,” the man sighed, pretending to sound disappointed. “no more plus-ones.”
hongjoong rolled his eyes, not bothering to respond. instead, he reached into his blazer, about to pull out a-
“nevermind!” the bouncer’s face turned pale. he stepped aside with a nervous laugh. “you’re all set- enjoy the night.”
the interior was breathtaking - chandeliers hung from high ceilings and round tables were scattered across the venue, draped in pristine white table cloths.
“don’t eat or drink anything here.”
you blinked, nodding slowly at hongjoong’s words. “okay.. but why-”
“-and if you really want to stay alive,” he interrupted, his lips brushing your ear. “don't leave my sight.”
his voice sent a chill down your spine. “okay,” you mumbled as he brought you further into the room.
he led you to a seating area - though it looked more like a conversation pit, where an old man sat waiting.
hongjoong released his grip on you to sit across the man, gesturing for you to follow. you hesitated briefly before settling next to him.
“mr kim,” the old man greeted gruffly. his eyes shifted to you, studying your face. “i see you brought someone.”
hongjoong gave a nod, glancing at you. “introduce yourself, brat.”
“oh uh-” you put out your hand reluctantly, forcing a polite smile. “i’m ‘____’.”
the old man’s eyes narrowed before they widened in realisation. “her father-“
“-i’m glad you noticed,” hongjoong cut in. he slowly reached into his blazer again, but this time, he actually pulled out his pistol.
your eyes widened as he aimed it to your waist, the cold metal brushing your side. “wha-“
“w-what are you doing?” the old man’s face drained of colour, panic flashing in his eyes.
hongjoong tilted his head. “let’s negotiate.”
“mr kim-“ the old man began, his voice cracking. “as his friend, you do understand that i have to tell him she’s here.”
“do it,” hongjoong shrugged, leaning back. his arm returned to your waist, pulling you to him as he tapped the gun against your side.
“let’s see if he values his money more than his own daughter.”
HOUR 18 OF 7 - LIFE ISN’T FAIR
a loud crash echoed through the venue, making you jump. the sound of heavy footsteps grew violent with every second.
hongjoong’s hand tightened around your waist as he stood, dragging you up with him. “move.”
“wait-!” the old man called after you, but hongjoong didn’t stop.
his grip on you was firm, the barrel of his gun pressing against your stomach. you tripped over your feet, struggling to keep up his pace.
“where are you taking me?” you panicked as you glanced over your shoulder at the armed men closing in.
“to your father, princess,” he sneered, his voice mockingly sweet.
“mr kim! stop right there!”
you froze, whipping your head around. standing at the far end of the room, infront of a small army of armed men, was your father.
“let go of my daughter,” your father ordered. he pointed a gun directly at hongjoong, his men following suit.
your eyes glanced around the room - seeing guests cowering against the walls, some injured and others dead.
“i’m not giving up the brat until i get what i want,” hongjoong demanded.
“what you want is an impossible amount of money!” your father yelled, his grip on his gun tightening.
“impossible?” hongjoong’s eyes widened with craze. “you have more than $500 million tied to your name! did you think i’ll forget who you killed to get here?”
your blood ran cold. “dad.. you killed people?” you asked, your voice trembling as you looked at him.
for a split second, your father’s eyes softened, though that quickly disappeared with a scoff.
“if i didn’t, you wouldn’t have a roof over your head,” your father spat. “you were too stubborn to do anything after you dropped med school.”
the world seemed to tilt, your father’s words more piercing than any bullet. “but i didn’t-”
“-you did,” your father interrupted you. “i spent all that money bribing them just for you to fuck up.”
your heart sank as tears welled in your eyes. hongjoong noticed your reaction, his grip on the gun loosening slightly.
“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t make my hostage cry,” he said. “do you really want those to be your last words to her?”
“shut up,” your father snarled, his finger close to the trigger. “i’ll say what i want. she’s too stupid to argue back anyway.”
the tears you held back spilled over and all you could hear was your dad shouting, “get her!”
HOUR 18.5 OF 7 - THEY WANT YOU SOO BAD
gunshots were heard in every direction, completely deafening.
the pungent smell of gunpowder burned your nose as you stumbled, your legs barely holding you up. hongjoong shoved you to the ground, his hand against your back.
“stay down,” he ordered you, raising his gun and firing without hesitation.
you flinched with every shot, watching in horror as armed men fell one by one with his aim. the world felt like it was spinning too fast and you could barely keep up.
suddenly, a hand grabbed your arm.
“stop moving!” your father yelled, his grip painful as he dragged you towards the exit.
“no!” you choked out, your heels digging into the floor in an attempt to resist. panic ran through your veins as your eyes darted around desperately.
your eyes landed on a fallen gun near your feet. you quickly snatched it, hands trembling as you tried to point it towards him.
“don’t make me do this!” you cried.
your father didn’t stop and without thinking-
-you pulled the trigger.
a bang was heard, followed by his rough scream as he collapsed to the floor, clutching his bleeding thigh.
“oh my god,” you whispered, the gun slipping from your hands as tears flowed uncontrollably down your cheeks. you sank to the floor, staring at the blood pouring out of him.
“you bitch!” he shouted in pain.
out of the corner of your eye, you caught hongjoong watching you, something strange flashing across his face. was that.. surprise? pride? maybe he was impressed?
hongjoong fired a shot at an armed man without looking, moving to you quickly.
“didn’t think you had it in you, pretty,” he looked over his shoulder. “but we need to leave.”
he led you to a small janitor’s closet near the exit. the narrow space smelled of bleach, but at least it was quiet.
hongjoong shut the door behind you and dusted off his blazer. without a word, his dark eyes inspected you, checking your shoulders and arms.
you stood motionless, too shocked to stop him as he gently tilted your chin up, his thumb wiping away the mascara-stained tears from your cheeks.
“nothing broken,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. “no scars either..”
he pulled out a burner phone, typing something quickly.
“i- i just shot my dad,” your shoulders shook as new tears welled up in your eyes.
hongjoong glanced up from the phone, meeting your eyes. “..are you bragging?” he asked bluntly.
“what? he’s my dad-”
“-and he’s a dick,” hongjoong cut you off. “you might share blood, but that man clearly hates you.”
you hiccuped, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “...am i going to hell?”
hongjoong scoffed. “come on-“ he began, but stopped himself when he looked at you and the tears spilling from your eyes. “you didn’t kill him… you’re fine.”
you opened your mouth to protest but he silenced you as he continued typing. “and even if you did,” he added. “you’re doing the world a favour.”
he smashed the burner phone onto the ground, discarding the pieces. he reloaded his pistol before turning back to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he led you through bodies and debris.
outside, a black van waited by the curb. hongjoong pushed you inside before climbing in after you, slamming the door shut behind him.
“drive,” he ordered.
as the street lights went past you, you slumped in your seat, completely exhausted. “where are we going?” you asked softly.
hongjoong studied you for a moment, watching your eyelids go heavy. “...go to sleep, brat.”
DAY 2 - OH HONEY I'M HOME
you woke up with a jolt. you sat up from the couch you laid down on, completely disoriented. your eyes darted around the dimly lit room. the hideout.
relief and fear spread within you. you were safe - for now.
just then, a knock from the doorway made you jump. “didn’t mean to scare you,” a man said, leaning against the frame. “boss wanted me to check on you.”
you blinked. “i- okay,” you coughed to clear your throat, wincing at how dry it felt.
“i’ll let him know you’re awake.”
and with that, he disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone once more.
though that didn’t last long. moments later, hongjoong entered. he carried a stool over, setting it down across from you before sitting.
“how long did i sleep?” you asked hoarsely.
“a day,” he replied with a shrug.
your eyes widened. it was only then you noticed your attire - a baggy t-shirt replacing the outfit you were wearing before.
“who changed me?” you blurted out, heat rising to your cheeks.
“i did,” hongjoong answered. he noticed your flustered expression, tilting his head. “what?”
“did you-” you cleared your throat. “did you see anything?”
“i’m not a pervert,” he scoffed. “if it makes you feel better, you were changed in the dark.”
you fell into an awkward, heavy silence as you sat across each other. for the first time, there was no danger, no gunfire or anyone yelling out orders. just silence.
“your dad..” hongjoong began, speaking up. “wants you dead.”
“...what?”
he held up a cassette tape, tossing it onto the table between you, your hands trembling as you picked it up. hongjoong then brought out a cassette tape player, allowing you to hear your father’s voice.
‘mr kim, we’ve had our ups and downs, but i’m sure that we can agree on one thing - that bitch who shot my thigh is a liability. an idiot that made it this far because of me. she’s no longer my responsibility or family, so expect to find her head on a stick when you turn your back. have fun.’
“what the fuck..” you whispered shakily as it came to an end.
“to be honest, your only purpose was to be a hostage.” hongjoong’s fingers drummed the edge of the stool. “and now that he doesn’t want you.. you’re useless-”
the world around you crumbled, his words making you feel worse.
“-to him.”
your eyes widened, looking at him in confusion.
“you’re smart,” he shrugged. “and you stitched me.”
you blinked. “…where are you going with this?”
“i want you to be an addition to my team,” he replied.
“do i have to kill people?” you blurted out. “or steal, or-”
“no,” hongjoong raised a hand to cut you off. “all you’ll be doing is treating my injured men. quite the opposite of killing.”
you frowned, furrowing your eyebrows. “why would you trust me with that?”
“because,” he said, leaning forward. “you have nowhere else to go.”
“that’s not true-”
“really?” hongjoong smirked. “do you know how many businesses your dad owns?”
you shook your head.
“more than 80% in the country,” his eyes sparkled with something dark. “now that you’ve shot him, you’ve burnt every bridge he’s built for you.”
your jaw dropped. “but-”
“no job, no family, nowhere to live either since he owns most of the real estate here.”
you stared at him, struggling to process his words.
“here’s my offer,” hongjoong continued. “you get a decent amount of money, a place to live and protection...”
“...just to treat people?” you asked in disbelief.
he nodded.
you bit your lip, staring at the floor as you picked at your nails. how could your dad do this to you? abandoning you just like that? and now he wanted you dead? you could feel yourself getting angry just thinking about him.
after a long moment, you lifted your head, meeting his gaze. “deal.”
MONTH 1 - FAMILY BONDING
that evening, you sat on the floor with san, wooyoung and yeosang, eating a batch of cheap instant noodles. it was a little awkward - mostly because you just joined, but you were silently appreciating their efforts to make small talk with you.
suddenly, a loud bang was heard through the hideout. the three men jumped up immediately, pulling guns and knives from who knows where.
“back entrance?” wooyoung asked as he sharpened his knives.
your heart raced as you watched the three of them shift into combat mode - and you caught yourself lagging behind. you hurriedly stood up and grabbed the medical kit you kept close.
“stay here,” san said firmly.
you shook your head. “if someone’s injured, i’m coming.”
the three of them shared a look before yeosang gave you a reluctant nod. “…just stay behind us. we’ll get in trouble if you get hurt.”
they moved swiftly and silently through the narrow halls of the hideout, weapons in hand. you trailed closely, your heart pounding as you gripped the medical kit tightly.
when you reached the back entrance, san motioned you to stay back while they checked the door.
the signs of forced entry were obvious - the lock was broken and scuff marks lined the floor.
wooyoung scoffed, speaking under his breath. “stupid piglets.”
yeosang sighed. “looks like they took a few weapons and left.”
“are they testing us?” san asked, inspecting a footprint on the ground.
before anyone could respond, the door slammed open making all of you jump. you turned to see mingi, his chest heaving as he leaned against the door frame.
“meeting. now.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
the hideout’s ‘meeting room’ was more of a cramped closet with mismatched chairs and a comically large table in the middle. hongjoong paced at the end of the room, his jaw clenched.
“we can’t stay here any longer,” he began. “it’s only a matter of time before they come back in full force.”
hongjoong stopped pacing and crossed his arms. “we need to move back to our old apartments. they’re scattered enough to keep us hidden until we figure out our next move.”
you shifted uncomfortably.
hongjoong noticed this. “what?” he asked, his sharp eyes landing on you.
“i uh-“ you hesitated. “i don’t have a home..” you said sheepishly.
hongjoong raised an eyebrow.
“my dad owns the house,” you admitted. “and that’s not really an option anymore.”
“right,” hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his hair. “shit..”
“alright, who has space?” he clapped, glancing around the room.
everyone exchanged uneasy looks.
“we don’t,” yeosang said, gesturing to himself, san, wooyoung and jongho. “the four of us are already crammed into one place.”
“same here,” yunho spoke up. “mingi and i barely fit in ours.”
hongjoong turned to seonghwa, his face hopeful.
“no,” seonghwa said without hesitation.
a heavy sigh escaped hongjoong as he pinched the bridge of his nose. he leaned against the table, deep in thought.
minutes stretched into what felt like hours before hongjoong finally spoke up. “you’re coming with me,” he said, looking directly at you.
your eyes widened in surprise. “..what?”
“you’re staying at my place.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
the car sped down the (somewhat) empty highway, the faint smell of vanilla from the air freshener mixing with the lingering scent of old fast food.
you gripped the edge of your seat as the streetlights ran by the window in a blur. “are we in a rush?” you nervously glanced at hongjoong.
“no,” he replied flatly.
there was a black car beside you that had been keeping pace for the past few minutes - and just as you shifted in your seat, it suddenly swerved infront of your car and slammed the brakes.
“what the-” you barely managed to say before the impact. the car jolted violently as it hit the one ahead, the sound of metal crunching loud.
hongjoong let out a low string of curses under his breath. his face was weirdly calm as he unbuckled his seatbelt, stepping out of the car without a word.
“wait-” you scrambled to undo your own seatbelt.
from your seat, you saw him approaching the car. the moment he glanced inside, his eyes widened. he reached for his gun and pulled the trigger instantly.
the loud gunshot made you flinch and your stomach twisted as you saw the slumped figure in the driver’s seat, blood splattered across the windshield.
your heart pounded as you stumbled out of the car, rushing towards him. “why did you do that?!”
hongjoong turned to you, his jaw clenched. “it was a piglet.”
“wha-“ your eyes drifted to the body, a shiver going down your spine as you saw the bullet hole clean through the skull.
hongjoong, completely unfazed, went back to the car. you stared at the lifeless body for a moment longer before hurriedly following him.
once you were back inside, you swallowed the lump in your throat, attempting to break the suffocating silence. “….how did you know he was a piglet?”
hongjoong didn’t respond immediately. his fingers flexed against the steering wheel as he glanced at you.
“they have a bullet tattoo..” he said finally, pulling down his collar to point to his collarbone. “..right here.”
you blinked. “oh.”
“if you ever come across one,” he continued. “kill them on sight.”
your eyes widened, your throat tightening. “what about the police?”
he fell silent for a second, his eyes fixed on the road. then, a faint smirk crossed his face. “you don’t need to worry about them.”
his answer left you unsettled, but before you could question him further, the apartment building came into view. it was modern - standing tall with the city skyline.
hongjoong smoothly pulled into the parking lot. the abruptness of the stop sent you forward, but his hand shot out instinctively, pressing against you to keep you steady.
“sorry,” he muttered, his voice soft - though he didn’t look at you as he retracted his arm.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
some might describe hongjoong’s apartment as ‘minimalistic’, but to you, it’s just an excuse for a grown man to avoid decorating.
the walls were devoid of any art or family photos, the kitchen was spotless - though it was definitely untouched with how there was almost no food in the fridge. and from what you saw, the only source of entertainment was a lone TV.
“do you..” you began, looking around the bare space. “do you even live here?”
hongjoong ignored your comment and walked towards the big couch and began to pull it into a makeshift bed. the springs creaked slightly as he unfolded it. “this is where you’ll be sleeping,” he said, dusting himself off.
“cool.”
“don’t complain-“ he stopped himself mid-sentence and narrowed his eyes when he realised what you said. “wait, you’re okay with this?”
you blinked. “…yeah?”
“hm,” he said, slightly surprised. he looked you up and down before turning to the long hallway. “get some rest, we’re getting you a phone tomorrow.”
MONTH 2 - LIVE LAUGH LOVE GUNS
you should’ve known it wouldn’t be long before the piglets attacked you again.
hongjoong sent you on a simple supply run - nothing unusual. but as you stood in the small pharmacy, you felt the air shift when the cashier’s demeanour turned cold.
it all happened so fast.
the moment you saw the gun aimed at your chest, your eyes fell to the faint outline of a bullet tattoo peeking out from his collarbone. great.
your breath hitched as your body moved on impulse. you barely avoided the first shot as you ducked behind the display rack.
the pharmacy was strangely empty, no one else to intervene. your heart pounded as the sounds of footsteps and gunshots echoed.
fumbling with your phone, you dialed every number you could think of. yet, no one answered.
your hands trembled as you typed hongjoong’s number, your last resort.
he picked up after one ring.
“this better be important, brat,” he grumbled, groggy like he just woke up.
“i need help-” you semi-yelled as you narrowly dodged another shot, darting behind the counter. “i’m getting attacked-”
“-send your location,” hongjoong interrupted. “i’m on my way.”
the line went dead before you could respond.
you sent your location and shoved the phone back into your pocket. the cashier reloaded the gun, his footsteps growing louder. and just as you moved, he charged.
he grabbed you, trying to pin you down. you barely managed to fight back, until you made an educated attack - kicking him in the groin.
he groaned, stumbling back. you took the opportunity to snatch the gun from his hands.
you pointed it at him, your hands shaking. “stay back,” your voice cracked.
the man scoffed. “over my dead body,” he lunged at you again.
your finger moved instinctively, pulling the trigger.
once.
twice.
again and again and again.
the sound of gunfire rang in your ears, the recoil sending waves through your arms. you didn’t stop until you heard a clicking noise that meant that the gun was empty.
when you opened your eyes, he was no longer standing.
you looked down, the cashier laying sprawled on the ground, the concrete dark with blood. bullet holes littered his body, evidence of your frantic shots.
you dropped to your knees, your chest heaving. you reached out to check his pulse. nothing.
you just took someone’s life.
your eyes fell to your hands, bloody and shaking. from young, you always wanted to save lives - not take them. tears fell from your eyes, blurring your vision.
the door slammed open.
hongjoong stood in the doorway. he took in the body on the floor and your frozen form in a single glance. he sighed, stepping in.
“come on, let’s go,” he crouched to grab your arm.
you couldn’t move, your eyes fixed on the lifeless body.
“hey,” his fingers gripped your jaw, tilting your face to meet his. his eyes were intense, his touch warm against your cold skin. “we need to leave before more show up. you don’t want to kill anyone else, do you?”
you shook your head quickly.
he pulled you to your feet, wrapping his arm around yours as he guided you to his car. the ride back was silent as you stared out of the window.
and before you knew it, you were back at his apartment.
you hesitated at the door, unable to bring yourself to step inside.
hongjoong sighed, grabbing your wrist as he tugged you in. he tossed his gun and his keys in the kitchen counter before turning to you.
“go take a long shower. i’ll be in the living room.”
you nodded, moving to the bathroom in a daze.
the water was scalding as it hit your skin. no amount of soap or scrubbing would ever make you feel clean from the bloodied-stains. every part of your body felt foreign - even your puffy eyes and lips.
once you were done, you dressed in the softest clothes you had, hoping that it would provide you with some form of comfort (it didn’t).
the pull-out couch was prepared with brand-new pillows and fluffy blankets when you returned to the living room. hongjoong sat on the edge, gesturing for you to sit. you sank down beside him.
the silence stretched on until it became unbearable.
you spoke up, your voice barely audible. “…i killed someone.”
“you did,” he nodded. “good job.”
your head snapped up, your eyes wide. “i killed someone.”
“and so have i,” hongjoong leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “does that bother you?”
“i…”
he leaned back. “it should. the first time always does.”
“i don’t think i can do this,” you breathed out shakily. “i don’t want to hurt people..”
the two of you locked eyes for what felt like ages. you could see hongjoong’s adam's apple bob up and down, his jaw tightening slightly. “no one wants to hurt people,” he replied softly.
you blinked.
“i shouldn’t have sent you out alone, especially with your dad targeting you,” he sighed. “that’s on me.”
“but-”
“-though i do have to say, this made me realise how.. unprepared you are,” he continued.
your eyebrows furrowed.
“if you want to survive, you need to know how to defend yourself,” he drummed his fingers against the couch. “...you’re off supply runs. from now on, you’re training with the others.”
you stared at him. “what?”
“the rest have some ‘schedule’ for training. i’m sure you can join without any problems.”
you hesitated. the thought of the blood, the body, the gun in your hands made you nauseous. the idea of training scared you.
he noticed this, his eyes softening slightly. “you won’t be a killer, just someone capable of self-defense.”
you swallowed the lump in your throat. finally, you nodded, your voice small. “okay.”
MONTH 3 - LET’S GO GAMBLING!
the casino was glitzy and loud with copyright-free music, its neon lights casting eerie shadows on the dark streets outside.
“you three, cover left. you two, check the vault. the rest of you will stay near the exit,” hongjoong ordered.
you waited for your assignment, expecting to be grouped with someone. instead, hongjoong said, “you’re with me.”
you sighed. “alright.”
you followed hongjoong to the right side of the casino, the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses filling the space. he moved silently, keeping his gun concealed but ready. you tried to mimic his focus, clutching the knife wooyoung lent you earlier.
the first sign of trouble came when the alarms blared.
armed men swarmed into the casino. piglets.
hongjoong moved first, taking them down in a single shot. you ducked behind a pillar, your heart pounding.
the fight moved fast. hongjoong was precise - he wasn’t even touchable, killing the men easily.
but that was when you saw it before he did: a piglet creeping up behind him, raising and aiming the gun to his head.
“boss!”
without hesitation, you hurled wooyoung’s knife to the piglet.
the knife pierced and plunged into his neck, causing the man to fall, his gun clattering to the ground.
hongjoong whipped his head around with wide eyes, shooting the man infront of him before spinning to kill the piglet you just hit.
the silence that followed was deafening.
hongjoong’s breathing was heavy as he lowered his weapon. he dusted his clothes off, looking at you with an unreadable expression.
he gulped, finally speaking up. “...good job, pretty.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
slowly, everyone regrouped in the corner, collapsing onto the floor in a circle. bottles of water were passed around as everyone caught their breaths.
for a while, no one spoke, the only sounds being an occasional groan.
“hey,” wooyoung hiccuped, breaking the silence as he turned to you. “give me my knife back.”
you looked at him awkwardly before handing him his completely bloody and dented knife - basically ruined.
“what the hell!” he exclaimed. “that was one of my favourites!”
you shrugged. “you shouldn’t have given it to me then.”
“i didn’t know you were actually gonna use it,” wooyoung complained. “i thought you would just watch.”
“you’re such a dick,” you rolled your eyes.
wooyoung leaned in closer - his voice annoyingly sweet. “aw, don’t be mad, sweetheart. i’ll get you a better knife- one that won’t bend in your delicate fucking hands.”
“shut up,” you groaned, shoving him lightly as the others chuckled.
hongjoong leaned against the wall, his arm crossed over his chest. his eyes shifted from wooyoung to you.
his chest tightened in a now-familiar way: you’re fitting in too well.
it wasn’t jealousy - at least, that’s what he told himself. it was about control. your presence was a distraction he didn’t account for. but the others took you in so easily, which was technically a good thing, right?
and yet...
why did his stomach twist every time one of them smiled at you?
hongjoong blinked, realising how his leg was bouncing restlessly. he forced himself to stop, sighing deeply.
“you good, boss?” yunho asked.
hongjoong paused. “...i’m fine.”
yunho raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it, turning away.
hongjoong’s eyes returned to you. you were leaning a little too close to yeosang now, laughing at some joke wooyoung said - sending a strange pang through his chest.
why did this bother him so much?
you weren’t doing anything wrong. you were building trust, meshing with the group - just like he expected.
but this wasn’t about the group, was it?
he frowned, thinking. you stitched him right after he kidnapped you, you saved him from getting shot even though you were definitely not ready to fight.
what has he ever done for you?
introduced you to a world of crime? to a world of killing, stealing and hatred? accidentally ruined the relationship between you and your dad?
hongjoong closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.
shit.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
without bothering to change, you sank into the pull-out couch - exhaustion pulling you to it like gravity.
you heard hongjoong locking the door behind him, the soft click sounding loud in the quiet apartment. his footsteps shuffled toward the kitchen, the sounds of cabinets opening and closing reaching your ears. you were way too tired to look.
you didn’t realise you drifted off until you were awoken by something heavy on your body.
your eyes fluttered open groggily. for a moment, you thought you were dreaming. hongjoong was in the middle of draping a large blanket on you.
“what are you doing?” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep.
his eyes darted to yours briefly. “nothing.”
you frowned, shifting to sit up - but he placed a hand on your shoulder, pressing you gently back down. “sleep.”
you let out a quiet sigh. “shouldn’t you be sleeping?” you muttered.
he paused, his jaw tensing. “....tomorrow onwards, you’re training with me.”
you stared at him, stunned. before you could even say anything, he turned and walked away without a word.
…did your boss just tuck you in?
MONTH 3.5 - PUNCH, KICK, SNARE
“again,” hongjoong said, slightly out of breath.
the living room felt smaller than usual with the two of you moving around. the coffee table and couch was pushed aside, leaving just enough space to practice your punches without tripping over the furniture. he claimed training here would teach you how to ‘fight in tight quarters’.
he sighed. “your moves are sloppy.”
you groaned, shaking your aching wrists. “i’m trying.”
“that’s not enough when someone’s aiming a gun at your head,” he replied, stepping back and raising hands. “your punches are too weak and your balance is all over the place. reset your stance.”
you rolled your eyes but obeyed, repositioning your feet. it wasn’t the first time you’ve heard those words from him.
hongjoong moved closer, tapping your wrist. “keep your guard up. always.”
you threw another punch, but it barely made his hands move. he lowered them, sighing. “that’s not going to hurt anyone-“
“-i’m doing my best, okay?” you snapped. “i’m not a fast learner.”
his eyes softened for a moment before narrowing again. “that’s not an excuse when your life is on the line.”
you tsked. he was right of course, but that didn’t make it easier to hear.
“again.”
you tried once more, throwing a combination of punches that he blocked with ease. when you attempted a kick, you stumbled, nearly losing your footing.
he caught you instinctively, his hands steadying you.
“watch your balance,” he said automatically, going on a tangent on how training is important and blahblahblah.
you tried to focus on your surroundings, on the words he was saying, but it was hard to ignore the proximity between you. the smell of his cologne mixed with the faint smell of sweat in the room. his touch wasn’t rough or aggressive like you’d expect - it was gentle.
your eyes drifted to his face, catching the faint scars along his cheekbones and jawline. were those always there? or was this the first time you really noticed?
his brows furrowed, likely in frustration at your lack of response, but the concern in his eyes snapped you back into reality, making you realise that you were staring the whole time.
“i don’t think i’m cut out for this,” the words spilled out before you could stop them.
hongjoong paused, his lips parting slightly - he wasn’t expecting you to say that. for a moment, he was silent. he then leaned in, his eyes piercing.
“you don’t get to quit.”
the intensity of his voice made you forget about the aches in your muscles and the sweat dripping down your back. his words weren’t angry - they were commanding.
“why do you even care?” you whispered, barely audible.
his grip on your arms loosened slightly, his eyes searching yours for what felt like eternity. then out of nowhere, he stepped back, clearing his throat as he avoided your gaze. “take five,” he mumbled, walking to the kitchen.
MONTH 5 - BLOOD, BLOOD AND MORE BLOOD
the office building looked ordinary. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was just another corporate HQ. but you knew better.
and so did hongjoong.
you held up the new knife wooyoung gave you, one that wasn’t as pretty as the last. it was finally the day you ambushed your dad, the man that’s been wanting you dead for months.
you looked up to face hongjoong. “i don’t want to see it,” you said suddenly.
he raised an eyebrow. “see what?”
“when you kill him. my dad,” you clarified, your throat tightening. “i’m.. okay with it, but i don’t want to see it.”
his eyes studied you. after a moment, he nodded. “make sure to stay close to me,” he said before turning to the building.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
the group slipped into the building through the side. hongjoong led the way, gripping his pistol tightly as you stayed close behind him.
“elevators are too risky,” hongjoong looked back at the group. “we’ll take the stairs.”
the group nodded, their weapons drawn as they moved quietly through the halls. the fluorescent lights did nothing to mask the sinister aura that was buried in the walls.
when you reached the stairwell, the sound of footsteps echoing above sent everyone into high alert.
the first shot rang out.
gunfire filled the stairwell. the air was thick with smoke and gunfire. you pressed yourself against the wall, trying to avoid all of the attacks happening around you. you tried to go in to fight but-
-someone grabbed you.
you struggled, twisting out of their grasp. but before you could scream, a hand clamped over your mouth, dragging you away. “stay still.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
the stench forced your eyes open - a horrid mix of stale cigar smoke and alcohol. the office was dimly lit and your father crouched infront of you, his face smug as he cornered you.
“you think you’re better than me, don’t you?” he sneered.
you glared at him, your heart pounding. “fuck off.”
a bitter laugh escaped his lips. “you’ve gotten worse since you joined that boy,” he spat. “should i cut off your tongue? unhinge your jaw? or maybe i’ll be basic and shoot you.”
“you’re insane,” your stomach twisted. “it’s hard to believe we’re related, especially with how ugly you are.”
“you-”
before he could finish, you jammed wooyoung’s knife into his other thigh, dragging it down to create a large gash. he let out a guttural scream, stumbling into a desk as blood gushed out of his thigh like a fountain.
you moved quickly, scrambling out of the corner, but two piglets grabbed you before you could get far.
“stupid bitch,” your father hissed, forcing himself up as he took out the knife in his thigh, looking directly at you. “you’re going to regret that.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
as hongjoong shot another piglet with his pistol, he looked around the haze, searching for a certain someone. “where’s ‘____’?” he asked.
the group stayed silent.
“shit- we don’t know,” wooyoung said nervously.
hongjoong’s face darkened - and without hesitation, he grabbed a nearby piglet by the collar, slamming him against the wall. “where’s your boss?” he snarled.
the piglet squirmed. “i- i have a family!”
hongjoong’s grip on his collar tightened, his eyes widening scarily. “then bring me to him.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
“your mother should’ve gotten the abortion,” your father said before settling down infront of you, the bloody knife close to your face.
“i’m surprised that a woman like her fucked you,” you breathed out shakily as the blade hit your skin.
“shut up-“
the door burst open as the knife grazed your skin. hongjoong stepped in, his gun raised. “let go of her,” he ordered.
the piglets hesitated, glancing between your father and hongjoong. your father’s hand didn’t move, a scar forming on your face.
“you want her that badly?” your father asked mockingly. “you’re becoming soft.”
hongjoong didn’t answer. instead, he moved faster than you thought was possible, shooting the two piglets that held you with ease.
the bodies hit the ground - causing your father to shove you harshly against the wall. pain shot through your body as you heard something crack.
hongjoong froze, his pistol trained on your dad.
“stay back,” your father warned, hovering the blade near your temple.
hongjoong’s jaw clenched. he dropped his gun slightly, making your father relax.
but then hongjoong lunged.
the fight was brutal, all punches and grunts. you slumped against the wall, your cheek bleeding uncontrollably as every part of your body ached.
after what felt like ages, hongjoong finally gained the upper hand, pinning your dad down as he pointed the gun to his head. but then his eyes landed on yours, wide and terrified - making him freeze.
“shit,” he cursed under his breath, lowering the gun. he turned and rushed to you, pulling you into his arms.
your father tried to crawl away, but hongjoong didn’t let him go far. with you in his embrace, he covered your eyes and ears tightly as the sound of a singular gunshot echoed in the room.
you clung to him, your tears soaking into his shirt. his hand cradled the back of your head, his touch soft. “it’s over,” he whispered as you sobbed.
you shook your head against his chest, the salt in your tears stinging the cut on your cheek. “i almost died.”
“i know,” he said softly. “but i wouldn’t let that happen.”
his words settled over you like a warm blanket. you pulled back slightly, your eyes searching his face. you could feel the heat of his body as he kept you close.
hongjoong shifted, his hands moving to your shoulders as he looked at you carefully. his thumb brushed over your scar, wiping away the trail of blood on your face.
“you’re shaking,” his eyebrows furrowed. “you need to breathe.”
“i’m trying.”
he reached for a nearby chair and pulled it over, guiding you to sit. hongjoong crouched infront of you, your hands trembling in his.
“you’re safe,” his eyes locked onto yours. “i’ve got you.”
something inside you cracked at his words - and tears spilled once more. hongjoong didn’t say anything, but his presence was enough. he stayed crouched infront of you, letting you take all the time you needed.
when you finally looked up, there was something unspoken in his eyes - a mix of guilt and relief that made your heart ache. “...thank you,” you whispered.
his lips parted like he wanted to say something, but the words never came. instead, he nodded slowly, his grip on your hands tightening for a moment before letting go.
at that moment, you leaned forward, closing the small distance between you. your lips brushed against his, just enough to make his entire body stiffen.
for a second, you thought you made a mistake. his hands paused midair and his breathing hitched.
but then, he moved. to you.
his hands cupped your face gently, pulling you closer into a kiss. it was slow at first, but when you gripped his shirt tightly - the feelings he’d been keeping were let loose.
his lips pressed against yours with urgency. his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you like you might disappear if he let go.
you responded instinctively. your hands found his neck, his jaw - brushing over them softly in a way that made him groan. “fuck- you’re so pretty.”
the world around you spun in swirls of blood, smoke and cologne, overwhelming you in a way that made you lose your breath.
hongjoong broke away for a moment, panting slightly. his lips curled into a smirk, before he kissed you again, softer this time but no less intense. it was grounding, reassuring and impossibly warm.
when the two of you pulled back, his thumb traced your scar. “this..” he began quietly. “..this isn’t what i expected tonight.”
you let out a soft, shaky laugh. “me neither.”
he pecked your forehead as he stood up, his legs slightly wobbly from the kiss. hongjoong held out a hand, helping you to your feet. “...let’s go home.”
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BONUS SCENE - MINE
the apartment was quiet as you laid on the pull-out couch, staring at the ceiling. sleep wasn’t coming - your mind was too busy replacing the events earlier.
the memory of hongjoong’s arms around you stayed, along with the feeling of his lips on yours. how could a man as dangerous as him bring you such comfort?
a soft knock against the wall broke the silence.
you sat up slowly, seeing hongjoong standing in the hallway. his hair was slightly damp and he wore a loose black hoodie, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. he hesitated before walking to you, his movements weirdly awkward.
“...you okay?” you asked the nervous man.
he shrugged, trying to play it off as he sat next to you. “i’m fine. you?”
“i’ve been better.”
there was a pause as the two of you stared at each other, the silence heavy. finally, he cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably.
“i’ve been thinking..” hongjoong trailed off.
“uh-oh.”
“i-it’s not a bad thing-” he said hurriedly. “it’s just that.. tonight made me think about a lot of things.”
you tilted your head, confused.
his voice softened as he continued. “but this isn’t just about tonight. it’s about.. everything. i don’t want you to feel.. unsafe all the time.”
“i don’t,” you said instantly, but you’re not sure how much you believed yourself.
he leaned back slightly, reaching into his hoodie pocket. when his hand reappeared, it was holding a pistol - his pistol.
“take this,” he held it out to you.
you blinked, staring at the weapon. “what? why?”
“because it’s mine,” he replied simply leaving no room for argument. “and now, it’s ours.”
you hesitated, your hand hovering over the gun. “i.. i barely know how to use this.”
“then i’ll teach you.”
you looked up at him, searching his face for answers. “...why are you giving this to me?”
you noticed the way his eyes darted down as you looked at him, his fingers tightening around the pistol as he pushed it to you.
“because,” hongjoong began quietly. “i trust you.”
your fingers paused before finally closing around the gun. the cold metal felt deadly in your grasp, but the way his eyes lit up made your heart swell.
“you trust me..?” you asked softly, a faint smile on your face. “hongjoong..”
his usual composure faltered as you said his name, a blush dusting his face. he swallowed the lump in his throat, gathering himself. “you’re not just a part of the group,” he said. “you’re more than that. to me.”
your eyebrows shot up, completely stunned. “...i don’t know what to say.”
“say yes.”
you blinked. “yes to what?”
“to being mine,” hongjoong’s hands fidgeted slightly.
your heart raced as you heard his words. a wide smile spread across your face as you realised what he was really asking.
“are you..” you paused. “are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
his breath got caught in his throat as he nodded. “yeah.”
the man that was the literal leader of an entire gang, was sitting nervous infront of you. it was a funny sight to see, but you brought yourself back to reality, answering his question.
“yes.”
a wave of relief washed over his face as he let out the breath he seemed to be holding. he reached out, his fingers brushing yours briefly as he leaned closer. “wanna sleep in my bed tonight?”
deleted scenes
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#gnomeo 🥫#gnomeo🥫writes#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#atz fic#atz#atz x reader#ateez mafia au#ateez mafia#atz mafia#blood in the clouds#kim hongjoong#hongjoong#hongjoong x reader#ateez hongjoong#atz hongjoong#hongjoong fic#no smut
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Do you have any tips for painting with gouache? like how do you get it to stay a nice solid color over a large swath of paper? and how do you blend it so seamlessly?
Of course, here's a few pointers off the top of my head:
1. I've used gouache for this in the past so it's possible, but the flat backdrop on my latest WIP is actually acrylic! A nifty thing I've found about putting a layer of acrylic down, is that it creates a barrier once dried and essentially makes the paper waterproof. This means you can work in gouache on top without it mixing with the background, and you can wet a section and completely wipe it clean with a cloth/tissue and it won't disturb the acrylic layer underneath. It also makes the paper more resilient, and you don't get as much pilling/tearing from the moisture
To get an even wash it's mostly getting the right consistency, I add just a little water - enough that the paint is less "tacky" as you drag your brush along paper, but not so much that it's runny or translucent. It takes a couple of attempts sometimes!
2. Also for the current WIP that I posted earlier, like the vast majority of my traditional pieces, keep in mind that it's mixed media. So I assume you're referring to the blue-green gradient on the bird and wondering how I got the gouache to blend like that - it's actually colouring pencils! I'll often switch between dry and wet media, even layer them back and forth, whatever makes the most sense to get the effect I want 😁
3. On that note, when you're working with paint, or any medium really, I can't recommend enough having a "test" sheet that you do both before and during a traditional piece. It allows you try out different medium combos, see what shade your gouache will dry into, and catch any issues before it ends up on your artwork. I often see artists being encouraged to just Bob Ross their way through a piece, the idea being that you'll just have happy little accidents that you'll naturally work into the piece - maybe, but you'll also possibly irreversibly wreck your hard work and have to start again. I don't know, I'm just a methodical person I guess, but seeing someone just directly apply something to the page when they're not sure what it's going to do makes me wince - no two art supplies are the same! All of those paints and pens have different chemical makeups, there's an unlimited number of ways what you're using could interact, good or bad.
Since it's already there, I usually reuse one of the leftover failsons from the process of making the wash background, then test everything on top of that. That way you can see exactly what shade the paint will dry on top of whatever colour the background is:
Doesn't need to look good, nobody sees it (usually) and you can also test the thickness of your brushstrokes while you're at it.
Anyway, I hope this helps!
#might have geeked out a little too much about art supplies but hopefully it's helpful :'D#I will be posting a process video of this WIP soon though which I hope will also give people some tips!#art help#art tips#art reference#asks
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podcast therapuss ⎯ DREW STARKEY
authors notes first time writing influencer!reader, i like it so far. this idea popped into my head the other day after watching one of jake’s episodes. there's no face claim for influencer!reader, i added this picture for the ideal theme.
taglist ⤕ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set to go.
masterlist
summary joining jakes podcast talking about various topics then mentioning not getting the chance to meet drew starkey. clips of you talking about him goes viral which leads him to reaching out to you.
warning(s) none!
About a month ago, your manager texted you about doing a podcast with Jake Shane, and you quickly said yes. You contacted him shortly after your managers confirmed it, expressing your excitement. Since then, you've grown closer and spent the night before the episode was filmed.
The two of you went out to dinner and got to talking about various of topics. It was a great way to get to know each other. You consider each other as friends now.
You've used social media since you were fifteen years old. You began by posting YouTube videos, and you continue to do so. Tiktok became another source of content to promote, including daily vlogs, hilarious content, and so on. Nothing would make you change it.
Everyone was getting settled before filming began. Jake started off by talking about a few topics then you came in. You were super excited about doing this.
“Welcome to Therapuss! "We've got the incredible Y/N here today," Jake says, gesturing toward you as you relax into the comfortable chair across from him. You flash your characteristic smile, which your followers enjoy. The cameras roll, but it feels natural—just another day in your life, sharing your thoughts and experiences with the world.
"Stop it!" you chuckle, shaking your head. "But seriously, Jake, thank you very much for having me. "I am a huge fan of the podcast."
"You're too kind," he replies, smiling. "So, let us dig in. You've experienced an unimaginable rise on social media. Your vlogs are really addictive, your TikToks are continuously trending, and everyone adores you. "How does it feel?"
You enjoy answering questions like this. They are your favorite because you don't always get to discuss what inspired you for doing this.
"It's surreal, honestly," you acknowledge. "I started YouTube my freshman year of high school because I wanted to look back on the moments I made. I never imagined it would turn out like this. It has been a whirlwind, but I am grateful for it."
Jake takes it all in, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hand. "Based on what I've seen, your content is incredibly diverse in your vlogs, TikTok, and lifestyle tips. Tell me, how do you balance all of that?" He asks, intrigued by what you do.
You respond to the question by explaining how you learned to draw boundaries over time. You prefer to keep a lot of things private that do not affect the outer world. As your audience grew, you formed a unique bond with them.
"Do you have a show you've been obsessed with lately?" Jake asks you while laughing and raising his eyebrows.
"Duh, Outer Banks pookie!" Before you laugh and toss your head back theatrically, you smirk. The statement, "I love all characters, Rafe is my favorite," leaves Jake speechless.
"Let me explain, his character is so interesting and yes, he's a psycho," you huff, putting your palms up in defense.
Jake and you keep talking about the show and his favorite show.
Jake nods in agreement. "Totally. Okay, switching gears to Pougelandia. Tell me everything."
You giggle and lean back in your chair. "Oh my goodness, that was incredible! The Outer Banks cast is as cool as they appear on television,” You gush, your excitement is evident.
Jake’s face lights up hearing you talk about the cast, “stop it that sounds so sweet, tell me more!”
You quickly point at him, “They’re so down to earth and so sweet. I got to meet practically everyone except for one person,” pouting then covering your hands with your hands.
Jake shrieks in surprise, "bitch who? "You must tell me!" He exclaims excitedly, settling into his seat.
“Drew Starkey. I was very disappointed since I'd heard he was the sweetest person, but our schedules didn't work out." you confess with a hint of disappointment. You were excited to meet him and start a conversation like you did with the rest of the cast.
Jake, of course, teased you about it, saying, “I feel like we’re setting up a rom-com here. Drew, if you’re listening, the universe is waiting.”
The remainder of the podcast you two continue to talk about various topics and even did the infamous NAME—someone will send in a question or mention something for Jake and the guest to answer the question on the podcast. There were lots of interesting questions.
A few days later, the episode is up—fans are talking about you talking about Drew and you wanting to meet him. TikTok is overloaded with clips of you talking about Drew, and your comments are full of hopeful hints about a possible meet-up.
You'd just completed editing your most recent YouTube video for your next vlog, and you were drained enough to fall asleep at your desk. The buzz of your phone buzzing from your bed, frowning but curious in who it could be.
You scream. Literally scream.
Drew Starkey followed you.
Drew Starkey sent you a message.
"Am I being punked?" Am I dreaming? "What the fuck is happening?" You ramble while holding your phone in your shaky hands and looking at the two notifications on your lock screen.
Allowing yourself to relax and compose yourself. You unlock your phone, tap on instagram, go to the messaging tab, you’re sure your jaw dropped to the floor.
Drew Starkey: Hey, I recently watched your podcast with Jake. We should get together sometime—finally make up for not meeting in Pougelandia!
What do you say?
How do you come off calmly?
Yourusername: Hi! Yes, it sounds perfect. Let me know when you’re free.
Fast forward two months later, you feel you’re still in a dream. Drew and you hung out together at a local coffee shop then went back to your place to talk more. Once you started talking you two couldn’t stop.
After hanging out the first time came more meeting ups. Drew asked you to be his girlfriend three weeks ago—you were shocked and excited all at once.
One day, while scrolling through TikTok in your kitchen, leaning on the counter, you came across the trend—wait they don't love you like I love you. You thought the trend was silly, so you decided to participate.
You did a couple tries and posted your favorite one out of the four—not realizing Drew was in the background on his phone, unfazed about what you were doing. Your comments started blowing up.
Bestie you got some explaining to do 🤨
Causally dancing in your kitchen while Drew Starkey is walking around at the same time? Interesting
When worlds collide fr 😏
Alright where the cameras at...
I fucking knew it!!!!
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MAGNETIC — SQUID GAME WOMEN + THANOS AND YOU BEING THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF THEM HCS
◜ featuring ... kang mi-na (player 196), no eul (guard 011), se-mi (player 380), jun-hee (player 222), hyun-ju (player 120), young-mi (player 195), + thanos (player 230)
𔗨 author's note — IM FUCKING BAAAAAAAAACKKKK RAWGHHRRR !!!!!! writing this had me SWEATING considering the lack of information of them in the show. anddd im closing the requests for now. id like to work on the current requests in my inbox before i open it again ♡ [lowercase intended]
mi na —
- at first you were hesitant to confess your feelings to her because why would she want to be with someone like you?
- and then you kept avoiding her and denying your feelings to avoid getting hurt
- then, life surprises you, she kissed you on the night she took you out for a 'girlFRIEND date'
- AND THEN BAM !!! dating
- she's feisty and confident, you're gentle and shy
- mi-na is the type to be sassy and bitchy to everyone and then when it comes to you she turns into a total softie
- "thanos, i swear if you don't shut the fuck up—" "mi-na?" "yes honey?"
- SHE LOVES CALLING YOU SWEET NICKNAMES JUST TO SEE YOU MELT
- you'd think mi-na likes to be treated like a princess and then it turns out that she's the one treating YOU like a princess
- when you're speaking and someone completely cuts you off, without a second thought, she'll speak up
- "my girlfriend is speaking??"
- when someone's rude to you, she'll handle it for you
- "excuse me? watch your words when you're talking to her."
- she doesn't do this all the time though
- she wants you to learn how to speak up for yourself
- but she definitely doesn't let it pass when someone crosses the line
- there was this one time where mi-na legit got into a catfight after someone humiliated you in front of many people
- she got humiliated in front of the people too but she DIDNT feel humiliated at all
- the bitch just messed with her girlfriend, and she just stepped up for you. what's humiliating about that?
- (outside squid game) let's say thanos is a mutual close friend you both have
- whenever he pisses her off, he immediately runs to you for defense since mi-na has a soft spot for you
- overall, mi-na likes taking care of you and you're gentle to her sooo it's a win-win for the both of you !!!
- she loves her shy gf so much, it makes her all mushy and softie
no eul —
- she's hard, you're soft
- oops i may have worded that wrong
- GRUMPY X SUNSHINE
- you always wake her up with kisses and she'll open her eyes to the sight of you smiling at her
- then she'll complain, grumbling about your "unreasonable" optimism. but she literally lets you kiss her the whole time anyways !!
- no-eul constantly furrows her eyebrows at your cheery attitude as if she was judging you. BUT DEEP DEEP DOWN, her heart swells for you
- she might be grumpy through words, but it's the actions that speak louder
- if someone's mean to HER sunshine, expect their face to get fucked up
- her love language is acts of service btw!!!!
- you will never ever get to hold a door ever again when you're with her cs she'll always open them for you
- AND SHE LOVES GIVING YOU 'JUST BECAUSE' GIFTS
- "here." she hands you a boquet of sunflowers with A CUTE LITTLE NOTE ON THE SIDE THAT SAYS I LOVE YOU, "awhh thank you! but, what's the occasion?" and then she just shrugs
- back then, whenever the two of you got into an argument, a bad trait she used to do is to shut you out. while you, on the other hand, always wanted to talk things through and find solutions
- after a few attempts, you eventually break her walls down and then she finally lets you in
- "...i'm sorry" "it's okay! we're in this together, 'kay?"
- she feels so bad because what if you're just trying to put up with her
- and then that worry completely washes away when she feels that you're actually genuine.
- you don't just say sweet shit, you act them out.
- and she'll forever be thankful for you
- you're the reason why she wakes up everyday, you're the reason why she takes care of herself, you're the reason why she learned to love herself
se mi —
- this woman has a sharp tongue
- which can definitely be used in multiple ways but mostly for saying sarcastic remarks
- (in the games) she's expressive but then she's emotionally guarded at the same time. she won't be scared to speak her mind but she rarely shows her expressions physically
- oh gosh. her and her fucked up humor
- others may think she never takes shit seriously, but it's actually THEM she's not taking seriously
- she absolutely doesn't like openly-vulnerable people. it's not anything personal, she just thinks that it's stupid to show emotions like that in a death game like this where anyone could literally take advantage of you.
- and then here comes you, kind and empathetic
- you're the type to put others first before you, and she hates that fact, but not you
- you're expressive with your feelings also, but instead of being like her, who masks it perfectly with her sarcastic exterior, you're genuine.
- you believe that showing real emotions is a way to connect with people
- se-mi had observed you during the six-legged pentathlon. it amuses her seeing you work well with your team.
- she fucking hates the fact that you're just so kind and open to every one, not even thinking twice to help others.
- (outside squid game) while se-mi sees the world as harsh and unforgiving, you always tell her about the bright side and hope and some happy shit. and she didn't like that
- she didn't like how you're actually starting to make her see even just the tad bit good in some things
- and then the next thing she knows is that she literally starts to think about you in every single fucking thing
- she sees sunlight, she thinks of you. she sees flowers, she thinks of you. she sees butterflies, she thinks of you. man, even whenever she buys her favourite cherry ice cream, somehow the ice cream legit reminds her of you. because apparently, to her, ice cream gives off positive vibes ?????
- and positive vibes are YOU !!
- over time, she may not admit it but she definitely cannot deny that she's starting to soften under your influence
- and who knows? maybe she's starting to see that kindness isn't always a weakness.
jun hee —
- she's an introvert, you're an extrovert. need i say more
- junhee mostly keeps to herself, but unlike no-eul, she isn't totally closed-off
- she's quiet and won't react unless needed
- you on the other hand, reacts to everyfuckingthing
- somebody's hand gets too close to her belly? "GET AWAY!"
- you even audibly gasp when someone gives her a dirty stare
- (outside squid game) when jun-hee gets excited about something, she'll just smile. but it immediately drops as soon as she turns her head to look at you who almost fell on the floor, face first, because of jumping around like crazy.
- it amazes her a lot how you make it look easy to just start a conversation with a complete stranger
- now whenever you make friends, she also makes new friends, because you always introduce your girlfriend to them !! <3
- between the two of you, you're the one who usually initiates physical touch
- just simple and cute hugs here and there, sometimes kisses, sometimes more than kisses
- she's the type to show her love to you through simple gestures like making you your favorite tea, playing your favorite song on the TV, writing you notes before she goes out while you're still sleeping (awwhdjsjssk)
- and then you're the type to express your feelings VERY LOUDLY
- telling her "i love yous" whenever you always get the chance to which is like every minute—but you mean every single one everytime—, giving her tight hugs, prepping soft kisses on her face, demanding her to give you cuddles.
- everything needs balance, so jun-hee learned to socialize more and have fun while you learned to be more mindful whenever she needs her own quiet time
hyun ju —
- hyun-ju tends to be cool-headed and calm in most scenarios, while you are always on your toes and stressed and just so energetic overall
- hyun-ju shows love in subtle ways, like doing your hair or giving you quick pecks on the cheek ♡
- she never fails to notice it when you're stressed. she'd grab your hand and start massaging it softly
- whenever your friends invite you to a night out, you always ask them if you could bring hyun-ju !!!!
- it's simple: they refuse, you aren't going. if they say yes, then be prepared to have one of the best nights out in your lives BECAUSE hyun-ju is fun!!!! hello ? being an introvert does not mean you're not any fun
- hyun-ju would literally chug up every drink your friends give her
- and then theres you who's worried as fuck because what if she vomits???? and you HATE vomit, eugh !!
- the next morning comes and then hangover finally hits her
- you, being a good girlfriend, always brings her water and some pills to help her with the headache
- 'hyun-ju drink this' 'hyun-ju drink that' which results to her needing to pee like every 5 minutes
- she calms you down, telling you that she's fine and all she needs is you beside her
- literally just your presence
- and then despite having a headache, she would ask you to yap for her, she just loves hearing your voice
- overall, hyun-ju is forever thankful for you. she appreciates the fact that you're always alert about things but she also reminds you to let loose sometimes.
young mi —
- she's shy, you're not
- you're so mean for always teasing the poor girl
- but you can't help it, not when you always catch her staring at you
- "do you need anything? or do you just need me?"
- give her a damn break
- not a day goes by without you hugging the hell out of her
- "you're so flufffyyyyyy babyy" "...thank you?.."
- she always seeks comfort in you, since you're the one who keeps things exciting
- in public, young-mi doesn't speak up much, so you speak for her when needed
- "excuse me, you got her food wrong." "it's fine i swear!!"
- it's surprising but she's actually the one who initiates affection most of the time, she'd just shyly do it
- during arguments, she might struggle to express her feelings sometimes through words, and even when you're supposed to be mad at her, you still try to keep your calm and help her speak for herself
- it always ends up with the both of you apologizing to each other. you would never let your girlfriend sleep with a heavy heart, never.
- sometimes you'd surprise her with cute gifts like small trinkets or cute plushies !!!
- as time goes by, young-mi slowly learns to speak up for herself, because, of course, you're not always going to be by her side.
thanos —
- PLAYFUL BF + SERIOUS GF
- he thinks you have such a hot resting bitch face
- LIKE HE'D LITERALLY INTERNALLY SQUEAL LIKE A HIGH SCHOOLER
- babygirl bf + girlboss gf <3
- you're never scared to speak up for yourself. thanos insists on punching anyone who does you wrong but you assure him that you're fully capable of doing that yourself
- "THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND BRO!!"
- literally brags you to nam-gyu and talks about you almost all the time
- nam-gyu's fucking tired of it.
- people thinks this man fears no one?? he's fucking scared of YOU
- FOLDS WHEN U CALL HIM BY HIS FULL GOVERNMENT NAME
- "cmon baby, give thanos a kiss." "choi su-bong." "what:(("
- but when nam-gyu learns about his full name and starts teasing him about it and calling him that:
- "hey, only she's allowed to call me that. mind your business." "dang okay bro"
- literally goes crazy when he texts you something and you reply with an "ok."
- "the fuck did i do nowww"
- he internally cheers when you're on your period because that'll mean you'll ask him for kisses and hugs
- "baby, let's cuddle please" "oh look at what we have here now—" "nevermind." "NO! yes, yes, let's cuddle"
- to others, he's tough and mighty but when it comes to you, he submits
- LMAO when he tries to call you by your full name to try and reverse the roles, you just give him a weird look and that made him want to bury himself 6 feet under.
- he's very very clingy, would literally sulk when you don't give him a goodbye kiss before you leave the house
- when you're in a bad mood, he tries his best to cheer you up, like rapping random sweet shit to you or attempting to dance in front of you. keyword: attempting
- and as soon as he saw that small smile form on your face, he almost felt like everything went slow motion
- you're so gorgeous, he's down bad for you
- but he genuinely feels happy once he knows that you're fine now because of him !!
- he's so silly :3
@misayani
𝓜isa mentions — @joc3lynx @mymel1008 @justredsw @wlvlurvsfimmia @azansstuff @dvrk-hoon @yersang-dreams
#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game season 2#se-mi x reader#cho hyun-ju x reader#choi su-bong x reader#kang mi-na x reader#no-eul x reader#jun-hee x reader#young-mi x reader#୭ ୨♡୧ ৎ misa writes ...
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ੈ✩‧₊˚we can’t be friends 🤍 xavier 星回 ੈ✩‧₊˚
RE-UPLOAD! The original post didn’t show up in the tags, sorry for the confusion :c
pairing ੈ✩: xavier x reader
summary ੈ✩: you and xavier had been best friends for years, nearly inseparable since the moment you met. But after one slightly drunken night, everything shifted: you became friends with benefits. You told yourself you could handle it, but as time went on, your heart began to ache. You had to end it, for your own sake. You were in love with him, but you couldn't shake the painful truth: you believed he’d never feel the same. Still, what if, all this time, while you were trying to push him away, he was quietly hoping to show you how perfect you two were together?
word count ੈ✩: 12k. omg. it’s LONG, long. grab some snacks and let me entertain you for a while!!
tropes ੈ✩: 18+, smut, best friends with benefits, miscommunication, unrequired love, not really tho, angst, angst with happy ending, plot with porn, love confessions, needy xavier, obsessed xavier, domestic xavier, i suck at giving tropes i swear i will get better someday, desperate xavier, everything is consensual, the consumption of alcohol mentioned, pet names, xavier was once in love with mc but the myths are not canon in this one!!
author’s note ੈ✩: GUYS this one’s IT. This idea was blooming slowly in my mind for quite some time. I really hope you’ll like it 🥹 also, please be gentle with me, i’m not a native speaker of english and I’m definitely not a writer. I like to think that everything i create is just fueled by my passionate delulu. please let me know if you liked it and if maybe you’d like to read part 2!! ♡ enjoy your reading!!
!!do NOT read if you’re not 18+!!
ੈ✩‧₊˚
It all started with the simplest of touches.
Your hands grazed, as if by accident. Then your eyes met. He grabbed you by your forearm, or maybe you grabbed him, everything was so blurry in your mind. A touch on a waist, a hand on a chest, and a sudden clash of your lips. You saw fireworks exploding in your mind, sending pleasant thrumming throughout your whole body.
Desperate touches. Rapid breaths. A whisper, maybe two. He said something. What did he say? The sound of your heart was the only thing you could hear.
Your dress came off. You felt lips. Lips marking every part of your body, leaving behind wet paths that made the exposed skin shiver due to the coolness of the air. He went down. Down. Down, and looked at you expectantly. Your head never nodded that quickly and it probably never will again. You saw stars. Millions and millions of them, shimmering under your closed eyelids. He grabbed your hand and put it into his hair. You caressed it gently, savoring the softness of it.
Then, you saw his eyes. Beautiful, deep blues that looked far too innocent for what he did and what he was about to do with you next. He kissed you again and again, and again, and he held you close throughout the whole night, making you shiver, moan, cry, beg — until you fell asleep from exhaustion right in the safety of his arms. He turned your world upside down.
And then came the next morning, when you began to question the entire ordeal. You panicked, thinking about your friendship that you valued the most and Xavier, whom you just couldn’t bear to lose. However, when you wanted to put it past you, to blame the alcohol consumed that night, act as if it was just a slip of your judgement, a mistake, a reaction caused by the need of intimacy after being single for a long time, he wasn’t having it. He said that he couldn’t forget about it, that it changed things, and you blurted out the first thing that came into your mind. You proposed the whole arrangement.
And that’s how, after several months, your relationship with Xavier stayed clear and technically uncomplicated. Friends with benefits. You thought that even if that night did change things, then in this way you could act as if it wasn’t a big deal to you. In this way, you wouldn’t have to lose him, wouldn’t make things awkward. You still acted normally in front of each other, you continued to spend time in almost the same way you were before that faithful night, but with one drastic change.
Almost every encounter since that night ended with you in his bed or the other way around. Hours and hours spend in each other’s embrace, touching and feeling too much, all at once.
And said feelings were what made you finally decide that you couldn’t do this anymore. You couldn’t continue sharing with him this intimacy, pretending that everything between you remained unchanged. You couldn’t do this anymore, knowing that it was all that you’ll ever get from him, despite being in love with him for so long.
You knew that he would never reciprocate your feelings. You knew that from the beginning, from the very first touch of your fingertips that night, but you foolishly thought that having him close for as long as he wanted you, would be enough for you. Even if he wanted you only for your body, because you were the easiest choice.
However, your heart was breaking every time you were reminded of one significant fact, a harsh reality that felt like a bucket of cold water in your face.
He will never love you. Because you were not her.
And you would never be.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
You already had a strategy to end the arrangement. You wanted to take it slow, step by step, with just a bit of pain on your side. You knew it wasn't your best plan, but it was a plan nonetheless. You wanted to end the friends-with-benefits arrangement in a way that would make you both slowly, almost naturally, drift apart—so subtly that he wouldn't even notice the change. As for you, you were ready to bear the painful consequences of your actions, if it saved you from the excruciating pain of a broken heart later.
You started with avoiding his kisses.
And it turned out to be a tough job to do, because you didn’t realize before how much of a kisser Xavier became during your friends-with-benefits situation. It never really bothered you before, you always accepted every single kiss with content. However, during your last meeting, you were trying so hard to avoid his lips, and noticed that he made it into an almost impossible task.
When you went out one night, he wanted to kiss you three times during hot pot, even though you were sitting across from each other. You thought that the sitting situation was enough of an obstacle, but you quickly learned that he always somehow managed to find a chance to try to steal a kiss. That not only bewildered you, but also made you blush so hard that you had to blame the spicy food for it to not look suspicious. Yet, you managed to stay your ground and ignored his needy attempts at capturing your lips.
You also avoided his lips while you were later watching a movie in his apartment, by pretending that you didn’t see or feel his constant gaze on you. You thought that maybe if he saw that the movie engaged you so much, he would finally drop the attempts. Unfortunately, your plan failed the moment his patience thinned, when he started kissing your neck while cradling your body to his. He was grabbing at you almost desperately and you really couldn’t escape from every single kiss he was giving you, no matter how much you tried to. And you really tried to.
“Why—why are you turning your face away? A-Ah… Let me look at y-you—mmm.” He said between his moans, and he never once stopped thrusting inside you. It was the day when he took you on a sofa between his soft, plushy pillows with the movie still playing in the background. Your legs were laying on his shoulder, his both hands holding onto them tightly while his hips thrusted deep inside you, making you gasp in pleasure. When you didn’t respond and kept your head away, hoping that he would finally stop with his relentless kisses, his hand gently grabbed your face and turned it towards his so that your eyes met. He smiled softly, his cheeks pink and face damp. “Yes, there you are. You feel good? You wanna break?” He almost slurred and you adored how quickly he was loosing himself with you, how much he was loosing his composure. When you squeezed your eyes, moaning at a harder thrust and shook your head no, he whimpered. Next thing you knew, he lowered your legs onto the sofa and layed between them, bringing his body closer to yours. Your chests touched and you could feel his rapid heartbeat, mirroring the rhythm of your own. He nudged your head, which was still turned to the side, with his nose.
“Give me a kiss, c’mon, starlight.” He kissed your cheek, slowing down his thrusts to a lazy, delicate ones. “I couldn’t get a kiss all day, I need it. Let me.” And when you saw his eyes, full of desperation and something that reminded you of adoration, you couldn’t keep denying him. Your lips touched his and he didn’t let go of them until you came, and later when he began growling straight into your mouth, chasing his own undoing.
It was the last time you met up, and after that you decided that you had to cut it off completely. You couldn’t continue being with him like this, not when you knew that he already loved someone else. Being with him this close messed with your head. You didn’t want to feel like a convenient second choice and you couldn’t help but feel that your meetings were slowly becoming more and more intimate. You had to constantly remind yourself that you weren’t together. You made sure to label the change in your relationship properly at the start of the arrangement — still on friendly terms, with occasional mutual pleasure. But the close proximity and constant intimacy started to make the lines blurry in your mind.
And your heart couldn’t take it anymore, it hurt every time you reminded yourself that he didn’t reciprocate your feelings, and that he never will.
After that movie night you decided that the next step to your goal would be to stop engaging in small talk with him, especially the one that occurred at work.
You worked together at the Hunter’s Association, he was one of the best Hunters out there, and you specialized in weapon modification from the safety of your own desk. You wanted to be a hunter once, but with your Evol involving micromodification you guessed that you could be needed in a position that involved working with weaponry. After working there for years, you were passionate about your work and elated to have a job you loved and where you thrived while helping others to the best of your abilities.
Thus, because of the shared place of employment, you saw Xavier almost every day. He was often near your desk, passing by it, putting snacks before you or teasing you with that soft smile of his. So cutting the contact out there was one of the toughest jobs for you, but it had to be done.
When you knew that he would be free, you found a task that needed completion in other departments, so that you will not cross paths. Often, instead of others coming to you to fix their weapons, you proposed to make the trip instead. In this way you were always quick on your feet, going from department to department, back to the workshop and again to the others’ desks. You didn’t mind the extra activity, it made you think less about your breaking heart.
And when Xavier managed to catch you from time to time, because he always somehow would, you were trying to appear too busy even for a small conversation.
“Where are you rushing off to again? I didn’t manage to talk to you these past few days.” He said one day when he caught you by your elbow while you were going out of the bathroom. He must’ve seen you go in there and wait for you to come out. He brought you a little closer to himself and looked at your face so intently, that you got scared he could see right through you.
“Sorry Xai, I’m just really busy lately.” You answered, maybe too quickly, and were trying to calm your beating heart upon seeing him so close again. Too close. It didn’t help that he was in his hunter’s uniform, that made him look twice as dreamy. You were so close that you could also smell his comforting scent and see the small scar on his cheek that he got last year after you two tried ice skating for the first time.
The first and the last, for it appeared that you were much better at it than he would ever be, and you wanted to avoid him getting hurt again. It was also before your friends-with-benefits situation, when your friendship was pure and healthy. Your heart squeezed remembering how he grabbed your hand then, and how tightly he used to hold it throughout the whole activity.
“Xavier, are you sure you don’t want to go back home already? I’m afraid that your cut will scar if we leave it like that.” You said, looking at the bandaid on his cheek, the only remedy for his small injury that you could provide at that time.
He squeezed your hand and still appeared sheepish after his fall. You secretly found him adorable, you never saw him doing something in which he didn’t excel in. It was as if he let you see a part of himself that no one had ever seen before. That thought made your chest warmer.
“No. I won’t let the ice defeat me.” He said surely and you knew that he won’t give up, even if his legs already visibly trembled from exhaustion. You let out a sigh. “Besides, you’re holding my hand now, so I feel much safer.” He looked at you, his voice soft and cheeks red, most likely from the cold air. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state made you completely overcome by the feeling of tenderness, and you send him a huge smile, thinking that it was the first time he relied on your protection, and not the other way around.
Little did you know that this smile would catch him by surprise so much that he slipped backwards, this time pulling you down with him. However, your reflexes slightly worked, because you managed to put your hand behind his head, shielding it from the impact with ice. You landed on him with a groan as his hands moved to pull your body closer.
“Oh god, Xai, are you okay? How did that happen?” You asked him, trying to lift yourself off of him. You felt him relax his head further into your hand, and when you raised yourself enough to face him directly, he sent you a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. This sight made your heart melt.
“See, I knew you would protect me.” He replied, clearly referring to your hand behind his head. “My little savior.” He called you, and when you puffed the air out, annoyed that he could have hurt himself for real this time, his smile turned into a full laugh, his body shaking under yours. He looked so angelic, covered in snow, laughing in a way that was so scarce that you couldn’t help but join him in his moment of happiness.
And thanks to your mittens, your hand was left with only a purple bruise from the impact. Still, Xavier couldn’t let you forget about it up to the day it disappeared completely, expressing guilt for the minor injury, his sight chasing your hand every time it appeared in his line of vision. He often caressed it softly with his fingers, looking at it with a mysteriously thoughtful expression, whispering “My little savior.” under his breath. It made you wish that the bruise would never disappear.
You took a step back, suddenly overwhelmed by the memories and the closeness between you. He always invaded your personal space, stood so close that you could almost feel his breath on your face. This time, you had had to cut it out for your own good.
“S’okay. You’re always busy but I guess I just got used to meeting you near your desk. Just text me after work? Maybe we could meet up for our book club today.” He said and you swallowed the awful feeling of longing in your chest. Book club was the term you came up with when you both just wanted to sit and read together for hours. Unfortunately, you knew how book club sessions looked like since the beginning of your friends-with-benefits arrangement.
You were sitting together in silence, reading for hours, then talked about your books until you both lost your breaths. A wonderful experience, you adored your little reading sessions, but you knew that recently they always ended with his lips on yours, and with your clothes scattered around his bedroom.
You couldn’t let this go on forever. You couldn’t go back to being just friends now, and you couldn’t keep him so close, knowing that he will never fully be yours. You pitied your poor heart.
“Sure, will do. See you around!” You were aware how awkward you sounded, but before he could stop you, you were already off to your another task of the day.
You didn’t text him after work, and neither did you reply to his message in time. The next day you send him an excuse that you were tired and fell asleep quickly, and you hoped that he believed it or didn’t care enough to question you further.
If the distance hurt you this bad now, you couldn’t even imagine how would it feel when he eventually would’ve left you for her.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
The next stage of your plan involved not answering his texts at all. You allowed yourself small replies from time to time, most often very brief, if the situation called for it. Replying excuses from left to right. Then, you incorporated not picking up his calls, especially on weekends, when he appeared to want to see you the most, because you were absent from the Association building and he couldn’t catch even a glimpse of you.
The distance you yourself put between you broke your heart, and you were getting more and more depressed by the day. Ignoring the person you loved wasn’t easy, when he was the one with whom you wanted to spend your time the most.
To distract yourself from the situation, you were trying to pass your time differently. You were meeting up with your family and friends, or you started doing things that you were putting off for ages. Everything and anything to fill the void in your heart caused by the absence of the one you loved. The absence forced by you.
It had to be done, you reminded yourself daily. You had to end this somehow, no matter how it hurt you. You had to move on. You couldn’t still be in love with him the day he would end up with MC. You knew it would ruin you.
Three weeks passed since your last meeting at the Association and you could feel that Xavier was getting impatient. His calls were more frequent. His messages longer. Sometimes while running away from him at work you could catch how he was scanning the room in search of you. How frustrated he seemed to be. How upset.
You understood it. You were best friends after all, and he also probably needed someone near him to help him get his head clear of MC. You knew that it must’ve been hard for him. But you were sure you were doing the right thing, that’s why you kept avoiding him during the past month, and not only it was the longest period you’ve been away from each other since the start of your complicated arrangement, but also the longest time since the start of your friendship. Even when the times were rough, you managed to see each other at least once or twice a week.
You felt the pain of the distance too. Missing him almost every second of the day. But you had your reasons. You didn’t want to try to satiate the hunger he felt for another woman anymore.
So every time his name appeared on your phone screen, along with the picture of him shoving two muffins into his mouth at the same time, you closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and waited out the signal, simultaneously praying for and dreading the silence.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
On a quiet rainy day, after a month of ignoring almost every attempt to make contact from Xavier, you heard your phone ping thrice. You sighed and put the book you were reading down, deciding that it was a good moment to reply something short to him in order to slightly ease his worries, and make him feel less alarmed. You wanted distance, but you still sticked to responding from time to time, to appear casual. To let the connection break off less abruptly.
xavier: why cant I see U at all recently.
xavier: why are U not picking up my calls and not replying to my texts.
xavier: are U hiding from me?
you: Of course not, just busy.
xavier: busy for me but not busy for others I know U are going out all the time.
xavier: are U mad at me? did I do something wrong.
you: No, you didn’t, don’t worry. It’s just me. I have a lot of things on my mind recently.
xavier: could U please have me on Ur mind too? I miss U.
xavier: so bad it hurts
You let out a rugged breath, and decided to stop responding, but then another text came. This time, making your blood run cold.
xavier: going back from a rough mission right now i think i need help.
you: Oh my god, are you okay? Are you injured?
xavier: cant tell U why dont you come and see me for Urself.
you: Fine, I need to see if you’re okay. Do you need anything? Food? Medicine? I will pick something up on my way there.
xavier: i just need U
You closed your eyes and hid your face in your palms, then swore it would be the last time. You will go in, treat his wounds and go out. It had to be the last time you allowed yourself to be this close to him, and then you had to cut him off completely. A month wasn’t enough to heal your broken heart, and these small sightings won’t make your heart feel any less burdened.
It had to end today.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
When the door opened, he managed to take your breath away once more.
First, only figuratively. His beauty always managed to amaze you. He looked so handsome no matter the circumstances, his hair so fluffy and shiny, his face like that of an angel, with sharp jawline and soft, pink lips almost screaming at you to be kissed. When you met his eyes, you almost gasped at the intensity of his deep blue gaze. There wasn’t a thing about him you didn’t miss terribly after so much time apart.
Then, literally, when the first thing he did was grabbing your hand and hugging you tightly to his chest, that was still clothed in his hunter uniform. He pressed his face into the crown of your hair and touched the nape of your neck, holding it gently with his cold hand.
“Was the mission that difficult?” You asked, thinking that his reaction to you was mostly due to his need for someone else’s closeness. The need for security. “Were you in danger?” You asked quietly, fear bubbling in your mind.
“No. I lied.” He murmured and you felt him squeezing you even harder, inhaling your scent with content. His hand started stroking your back, slowly making its way under your thin coat. “Didn’t know what else to say to make you come see me.” He said and you hoped that he couldn’t hear, nor feel the sound of your erratic heartbeat.
He shouldn’t say things like these, it made you feel too hopeful. You tried to push that feeling down, knowing that’s how he normally acted with you, his best friend. You knew that he didn’t have a lot of people beside him, thus he treasured the ones that stayed. And that thought made you so incredibly apologetic that you had to swallow the tension in your throat. You hated that you fell for him so hard. You hated that you had to leave him because of it. You hated that you knew, that he would blame himself when you’ll leave.
And you started to hate yourself the most because of all of it.
“Did you miss me that much?” You teased, trying to calm yourself with a friendly banter.
“Yes.” The answer was immediate. The kiss he placed on your temple as natural as breathing. “Everything and everyone seems to be taking you away from me these days.” He said and you could hear him sulking. Your heart squeezed again, but you knew that you were doing the right thing. The distance was necessary.
Necessary for you to avoid breaking. You had to protect yourself first, you decided. You couldn’t remain in love with him forever. You had to move on and in order to do that you had to keep the distance. Which was impossible with him around, when he craved physical touch so badly.
You started to be so mad at yourself for breaking your streak today. You didn’t realize how touchy he will be after some time apart and it was getting to your head. You were so conflicted. You felt too much, and that was always the case when you were around him.
He was in love with someone else. Your head was screaming loudly, trying to calm the wave of unwanted emotions.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered. I love you, you thought. “But now I’m here, so maybe I can inspect you for any injuries? You always seem to neglect them as long as they don’t make you bleed out.” You managed to free yourself from his hold and missed how his hands went after you for a second. He didn’t want you to put distance between you two. Not yet, not ever.
He looked into your beautiful, shiny eyes and nodded without a thought. He couldn’t say no to you, not when he saw the still remaining hint of worry in them. Besides, checking for injuries always came with physical contact, and he was so starved. He needed to feel your body close to his. Your hands on him, somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. He felt addicted and craved some kind of relief. He looked after you like a lost puppy, following your footsteps closely, touching the familiar material of your coat that you left on a counter. The distance this past month made him feral, every part of his body screamed to hold you and don’t let go.
You sat down on his couch, and patted the place next to you, hinting at him to sit beside you. He was trying not to appear too eager while doing so, and also when he started taking off the upper part of his uniform. He was almost shaking with excitement knowing that you really came to see him. That you were worried about him. The distance was making him sick. Furious. Desperate. Hurt.
He suppressed a shudder when you touched his shoulder and peeled away the material off his back completely. Your hands were pleasantly warm, as always. He bit his lip trying not to gasp from the contact.
He needed more.
“Xavier.” He hummed, giddy inside upon finally hearing his name from your lips. He was bracing for your outburst. Couldn’t wait for it. “You said you lied about the mission being hard, while having a fucking gash on your back? I-I can’t believe you...” He heard your angry, shaky voice and smirked unintentionally. You were worried about him and he liked that. He liked the attention, when it was coming from you.
Yet, you didn’t know that.
You cursed under your breath and went to grab the first aid kit from one of his drawers, and proceeded to patch the man back up, having no idea that he allowed the Wanderer to injure him, to have an excuse to see you. To keep you with him for a minute longer, even if it was only under the pretense of tending to his injuries. He was ready to do anything at this point to keep you from slipping away from his grasp.
If you knew that, you wouldn’t be so adamant on distancing yourself.
But because you didn’t know, you also didn’t predict that after patching him up, he would propose you to eat dinner with him, making up an excuse that he didn’t want to be alone with his pain. Later, when you wanted to come back to your place, he mentioned he wanted to play kitty cards, the game you adored. You couldn’t refuse him.
During the next hours you spent at his place you both talked in the same way you always used to - about everything and anything, exchanging opinions, stories and everyday thoughts. You laughed together for the first time in weeks, and your cheeks hurt from how much he was able to make you smile. You always had so much fun with him, he was your favorite person in the whole world. You missed him so bad, despite knowing that you couldn’t back out from your plan fully. Yet, you allowed yourself a little break, telling yourself that it was in order for your distancing to not look suspicious. In addition, he was injured, and you felt the need to comfort him in any way you could. The gash on his back wasn’t that deep, but it worried you regardless.
The atmosphere changed drastically only when he managed to win the next round of kitty cards. You jokingly frowned at him, forging displeasure, and he looked directly at your pounting lips. The time seemed to stop when you noticed that look. He raised his hand to touch your collarbone, caressing it with his fingers, up to your neck and over your cheek. He looked deeply into your eyes, and you noticed how dark his became. You found it fascinating that his soft gaze could change so drastically in a matter of seconds.
His hand reached out to grab your chin and brought your face closer to his. And when he whispered: “Could I ask for a reward?” with that dangerous, needy voice of his, you knew that you couldn’t deny him anything.
When your lips touched, you decided that it will be the last time you let it happen. It would be your goodbye, before loosing the feel of his touch. You thought that you could at least make the best of it, get lost in the artificial feeling of being treasured for the last time, before you started the last phase of your plan.
After that, you had to cut off the ties with him completely. No matter the measures. No matter the pain.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
“Xavier, m-maybe not today?” You asked when you realized how low he was going with his kisses. You knew what he was about to do, and you hated how much you couldn’t contain the sounds that were coming out of your mouth when he was doing it. Besides, it didn’t feel like a mutual pleasure anymore, it felt like an act of service and you were not sure you wanted him to pleasure only you.
He looked at you, having already dropped to his knees. He looked ruined, his hair already a mess from the touch of your fingers, lips wet and swollen, shirt off displaying his toned chest, bandaged in the center with caution. He was practically heaving. The sight made you blush.
“Why not?” He voice sounded whiny, his lips already kissing the inside of your thigh as if he couldn’t restrain himself. Every kiss send electricity to your already wet core and you found it hard to think clearly. His hands were grabbing your tights possessively, relishing in their softness. “Please, let me eat you out. I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” The pleading in his eyes was so apparent. So unfiltered.
“Don’t you want to get to the point already?” You offered shyly and he huffed out a laugh.
“Where are you trying to run off to this time?” It sounded like a joke, but he appeared annoyed. “Relax, starlight and let me take care of you. Please.” You still hesitated. It made him pout. “I need it, please, star. I want to taste you so bad. I didn’t manage to last time.” He kissed your knee and put his head on it, looking for the answer in your unsure eyes. “Will you let me?” His pleading tone, along with his desperate gaze was what made you break. You whispered a soft confirmation and it was all it took before he quickly put his mouth on your core, licking vigorously, devouring you like the most delicious thing on the planet.
“Mmmm.” You heard him humming, before your own cries, along with the constant tremble of your legs, drowned out any other sound.
He was elated.
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“Mmmh— Yes. Yes. H—holy—” He whimpered at the same time with his thrusts and squeezed your waist harder, moving his hands up and down your back, caressing it affectionately. “You are s-so warm, so beautiful, fuck—” He moaned when you tightened on him. You stiffed a whimper and tried to commit to memory the touch of his strong hands.
He was taking you slowly from behind and the pace was almost unbearable for you. You needed more, and you couldn’t stand how romantic it felt when he was this gentle with you. However, at the same time you didn’t want him to strain himself, you were aware that the slow pace was reasonable due to the injury on his back. The slow pace did surprise you either way, you thought that after so much time apart he would be quick and rough, chasing his pleasure faster than he normally would. Instead, he acted even more passionately than usual.
The slow pace brought you so much pleasure that you couldn’t contain the sounds escaping from your lips. He kept pressing your most sensitive spots, his thrusts slow, deep and precise. His forehead rest on the back of your shoulder, and you could feel his hot, labored breath pressing against your damp skin.
He made you feel so appreciated, and so cared for, and that made you uneasy. More so, with the accompaniment of the things he was constantly saying to you, from the moment you allowed him to touch you today.
“Can you turn around now? Please, my star, I want to see you.” He half-whispered and started kissing your neck, then moving his mouth to every patch of your skin he could reach: your shoulders, back, arms. No place was left unkissed under his relentless lips. You shook your head no, you didn’t want to let this become even more passionate than it already was. You positioned yourself facing the headboard of the bed from the very beginning, and you were adamant to keep your stance up until the end. You feared that your eyes would betray you, displaying your feelings for him and that was what made you not lose your composure.
Upon hearing your refusal for the third time this night, he proceeded to voice his frustrations by grunting, and thrust into you a little harder. You moaned loudly, surprised at the sudden change of tempo.
“Please, starlight.” He begged, his voice achingly earnest. He picked up the pace and you almost choked with how deep he reached inside of you now. You thought that you could never get used to how big he was, his girth filling you up to the brim. “Turn around. T-turn around for me.”
“X-xavier slow down, I don’t want you to get hurt—” You managed to choke out, grasping sheets with your hands for some kind of stability. You closed your eyes when they were turning upwards, biting your lip in the process. He felt otherworldly, but you couldn’t help but think about the gash on his back. He shouldn’t strain himself.
“Then turn around and look at me.” He repeated and you shook your head again.
“I-I can’t, I—Ah—”
“W-why do you keep—Mmh—denying me?” His voice came out like a growl and he kept up the fast tempo. Then, he grabbed your shoulder and put his other hand on your lower back, making you bend over more. His thrusts got even faster, making you moan louder. “Like that. Yes.” You breathed quietly. So good. He was so, so good. “I just want to see your face. I need to kiss y—A—Ah—Kiss you so bad, so, so, so bad.” He thrusted more deeply, making you involuntarily back out from the stimulation, your body almost collapsing, but he quickly grabbed you with his strong arms, and brought you even closer to him. You saw stars and touched one of the arms that held your whole body — from your waist, between your breasts, to your neck. His arm was so hard, so strong. He was huge compared to you. “No, n-no, don’t run away, star. You feel so good—G-God how I missed this—” He held you closer by the second, pressing more kisses to your shoulders, his thrusts becoming quicker, less deep. You were holding back your tears from how good he felt inside you. “I missed you. I missed you. I miss you.” He started babbling and that’s how you knew he was close.
To your surprise, he suddenly pulled out of you completely and grabbed you by your shoulders, turning you around to finally face him. Before you could show any signs of protest, he lowered himself onto his forearms, caging your head between his biceps so that he could have a perfect view of your face. He took his cock in one of his hands and he slipped himself into you again with ease. You shuddered and cried out softly with astonishment.
“Xavier—!”
“Yes. Yes, that’s my name.” He started thrusting into you again, this time much slower and more attentive, and looked deep into your eyes. You had nowhere to run, the only thing you could do was to close your eyes, but the sight of him so close made you want to never look away. “Say it one more time. Just once.” He looked ethereal, his silver hair wet from the perspiration that gathered oh his forehead, and his cheeks painted a pretty shade of red. You could see how blissful he felt. “So p-pretty.” He finally kissed your lips softly. “So sweet.” He licked into your mouth, deepening the kiss. It made your toes curl, you loved when he kissed you this sloppily. When he released your already swollen lips, there was a string of saliva connecting you. It was all so intense.
“Why were you denying my kisses?” He kissed you again deeply, sucking on your tongue. His slow thrusts made you go insane. “You don’t like kissing me like this?” He sucked on your lips until they were red and swollen. There was so much saliva. He licked them and kissed them again. “I could come from this feeling alone. So soft.” You were shocked at how much he talked. Was he always this talkative? Or were you realizing it only now, when you knew that the closeness with him would soon come to an end?
“Am I making you feel good? Yeah?” You decided to nod at him truthfully, your moans short, resembling small hiccups. You were lost in the pleasure, you could feel the end approaching. He put his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. “W—wow, you—you sound so adorable, I won’t last long—” He moaned and grabbed your face in his hands, kissing your nose first, then softly your lips.
“Yes, yeah, let go. Let go my little star. My starlight, my treasure.” He whispered into your ear, feeling you clench down on him as you came with his name on your lips. You felt him reaching the end quickly after you, he shuddered, his mouth opened, and he released into the condom with a low moan. Still cumming, he took your face into his hands and kissed your forehead gently. When you both were still coming down from the high, breathing heavily, he began stroking your hair, pushing it out of your face, and kissing your cheeks.
What in the world was all that?
God, you couldn’t do this anymore. You couldn’t let this keep up, it felt too real, too romantic, and your heart really couldn’t take it. Not when every time you were together like this you keep thinking that he would like you to be someone else instead. Did he imagined her under him this time? You trembled, scared because of that thought, but the things he was saying made you feel that it really could be the case.
Your breath came out shakily and you took his muscular forearms in your palms and grazed them gently with your thumbs. You let yourself feel for the last time how warm his body was, how pleasurable his weight on top of you. You kept your eyes closed to not let him see your tears, but you couldn’t stop one from going down your cheek.
And of course he saw it as soon as it appeared. He seemed to always look at you when you wanted him to ignore you the most.
He kissed it off, swiped the wetness with his thumb and proceeded to kiss your temple.
“Why are you crying?” He asked softly, his eyebrows furrowed. “Did I hurt you?” He appeared so concerned, and you felt the shivers going down your spine.
Yes, you wanted to scream.
“No, of course not.” You said instead. Because it was your fault for feeling too much. “I’m okay, just tired.” You lied straight to his face. He send you a small smile and kissed your closed eyelids gently.
And when he shifted and pulled out from you slowly with a little hiss, you let out a sigh and knew that your time with him had to end now.
But before you could lift yourself up, he hugged you from the side and put his head on your chest. He was listening to the sound of your heartbeat, and you already knew that it had a soothing effect on him. His hand started caressing one side of your waist, his hair touching your chin, his scent overlapping you. You could feel his heartbeat on you, fast but steady. Another tear escaped from your eyes. You had to run away. You couldn’t take the closeness anymore. It was too painful.
“Xavier, I—” You swallowed the sob forming in your throat. Your voice came out rusty. “I really need to go.”
“Already? Stay with me for a little while longer.” He squeezed you harder to himself, showing no intention of releasing you from his hold. You hated that you needed to cut short such a vulnerable moment with him. “The night is still young. I thought we could maybe watch something together? Or bake these cinnamon cookies you like? I practiced, they taste and look almost perfect now.” You closed your eyes hard, moved by his thoughtfulness, and you almost sobbed audibly if it wasn’t for your hand quickly covering your mouth.
But he felt it, and it made all the muscles in his body tighten, as if he was struck.
“Star?” He loosed his hold on you and quickly studied your face. “What’s wrong?” His eyes became huge, filled with worry. And that concern on his features was what finally made you run.
You raised gently and pushed yourself from him, starting to pick up your scattered pieces of clothing. Your hands shakily put the panties and your sweater on your trembling body, not once looking Xavier’s way. He was waiting patiently for your answer.
“I can’t do this anymore, Xavier.” You replied, feeling more comfortable now that you had some clothes on. You couldn’t meet his eyes, but you heard him standing up from the bed.
“Do what?” He sounded puzzled. You heard him grabbing and putting on some pants hastily, clicking his belt in place. As if he was preparing to run after you. “Did I do something wrong? You didn’t like it today? Was I too intense?” You had never heard him speak so quickly, and the panic in his tone was a rare occurrence too.
“No, it’s— I am at fault here.” You answered truthfully, and you took a couple steps away from him. You wanted to run as fast as you could but for the love of God, you couldn’t locate any other pieces of your clothing. Your eyesight was clouded by unleashed tears. No, not now, you couldn’t let them fall until you were in the safety of your home.
“But you were perfect.” His voice carried more panic by the second. “We could change some things. You could tell me what to do differently, everything works with me as long as I do it with you.”
You suddenly remembered the beginning of your night, and rushed to his living room, were you finally found your pants.
“No. No, and please stop trying to persuade me. This—this friends with benefits thing, it ends now.” You uttered surely, now fully clothed. You turned around and finally laid your eyes on him, and saw him wearing only black jeans and a miserable expression on his face. God, he still looked perfect. He almost shined, the workout clearly visible on his face, his hair, his lips. Your resolution almost wavered.
“Okay. Okay, of course, I—I understand.” He answered quickly, and you felt a slight pang in your chest at how easily he took the news. This whole time you were so easily disposable. “But please stay. I want to spend some time with you, I haven’t seen you in such a long time.” He took a careful step towards you, and you wanted to bolt then and there. “Please, stay.”
“No, Xai, I—” You paused to take a breath, trying not to crumble in front of him. His worried expression felt like a knife to your chest. You were his best friend, yet here you were, clearly wanting to run away from him—how could you expect him to feel anything but hurt upon such a sight? You felt incredibly cruel. “I really can’t. I think I need a break from all—all of this.”
“You mean from me?” He didn’t wait for your answer, the thoughts in his head seemed to go quicker than lightning. “No, please, I swear that if you don’t like it then I won’t touch you anymore. I swear.” You hated how upset he sounded. You closed your eyes for a second and fresh tears slipped away. You couldn’t keep them from falling anymore. “You know how much you mean to me. Don’t make me stay away.” He looked as if you were tearing his heart out, his posture slumped, hands shaking. How you wished you could take them into your own and warm them up.
“I have to.” Your voice came out whiny. He stepped closer to you, keeping his arms in front of himself.
“But why?” His question was quiet, nearly a whisper. He couldn’t help but wonder, if you really wanted a break from him, then why were you crying as if you didn’t want to go?
“I—” You stopped yourself before going as far as to utter a confession. He couldn’t know. Not now. Not ever. “This— This situation, and how our friendship looks like right now it’s—it’s so wrong.” You opted for a response that was the closest to the truth.
“It’s not.” He replied immediately. “Not for me.”
“Well it is for me. Friends don’t sleep with each other, Xavier! We messed up so bad this time and I’m afraid we can’t let this past us.”
“Do you regret it that much?” His voice was losing its’ strength, and he seemed so utterly hurt. Meanwhile, you were just trying to protect yourself from feeling even more pain. How could you make him understand without confessing to him? You didn’t really know because you were always honest with him before. He was your safe place.
And to think that everything could be avoided, your friendship left unscratched if only you could control your feelings better. But you had no idea how to stop loving him so deeply, when he was everything that you’ve ever dreamed of.
“I should. I know that I should, it was never going to end well, I—”
“Stay. Please, starlight, stay. At least for one more night, let me hold you just for one more—” His arms went out to grab you and you flinched, taking a few steps back. His jaw tightened.
He was always afraid that he will see you run away from his touch. He felt as if his nightmare became reality - the thought of loosing you too much for him to bear.
“Xavier, I can’t!” You trembled all over. Why did he make this so hard for you? “I can’t do this with you anymore, can’t you understand how much it hurts me?” The truth was at the tip of your tongue, craving to be spoken out loud.
“Why? Why does it hurt you? The only one who has a good reason to be hurt is me, you avoided me, ignored me, and for what? If you just talked to me honestly one time—”
“You are in love with someone else!”
The silence that followed was unbearable and seemed to last ages. Slow ticking of the clock was the only thing cutting through the tension, reminding you that the time didn’t stop, even if your heart seemed to do so.
You turned to him, the tears falling from your eyes in cascades now and your chest was coming up and down rapidly with how fast you were breathing.
The tears run down your cheeks quickly, making your vision less blurry. How you wished that they stayed in place, if that meant that you wouldn’t have to see Xavier’s pained expression, that quickly changed into one of utter confusion. You were shaking with how much you were feeling, your frustration pooling out of you in a form of shaking hands and bitten lips.
“I can’t continue being like this with you when I know that you’re in love with her! And I get it! I really do. She’s so wonderful, and so, so lovable. And I could never be her, no matter how much you would want me to be. I just don’t want to be a replacement anymore.” You continued, the desperation in your voice almost making you wince. You sounded pathetic and felt so embarrassed for it. You felt as if you were loosing the ground beneath your feet.
“What?” He said completely stunned. He wasn’t moving a single muscle. “What on earth are you talking about?” He hissed, and took a step towards you, and when you shook your head and wanted to bolt through the door, he quickly grabbed you by your wrist and pressed your body close to his. You gasped at the contact, so sudden and forced. “No, stop running away from me!” He raised his voice, still holding your wrist tightly. You’ve never heard him sound so irritated. “Speak.” You kept your head low, when he was desperately trying to catch eye contact, but you couldn’t look at him right now. Not when your true feelings were basically flowing to the surface.
“About what? You really thought I didn’t know about your feelings for her?” You struggled to keep your voice from shaking. “Xavier, I know, and I knew from the very beginning, and you really don’t have to explain yourself to me. I really understand.” You tried to free your wrist from his grasp, but he held it too tightly. You needed to run, this conversation wasn’t supposed to happen, you didn’t even have a reason to be mad at him. You couldn’t blame him for not loving you romantically, nor for feeling this way towards someone else. You were only friends, and friends should be happy for each other when they find someone dear to them, not sick of the idea of loosing the other to someone else.
“I’m afraid you actually don’t understand anything.” He sounded almost defeated. His voice back to it’s soft tone, but his hold on you unrelenting.
“It’s really okay, I—”
“No.” He scoffed. You finally gained enough courage to let your eyes meet his and you were instantly appalled at how furious he appeared to be. “It’s truly NOT.” He released your wrist and put his hands up to stroke his hair back. He breathed out loudly. “Who the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, confusion and irritation taking over his features completely. You never saw him wear that expression while talking with you.
“Oh, don’t make me—” You cut off, seeing his furious glare. You took a deep breath, stepped back from him and touched your cheek, trying to swipe the wetness caused by your tears. You failed, they were still coming down, one by one, making your efforts futile. “MC. You know that I mean MC.”
“You have to be fucking kidding me.” He groaned and let his head fall back. He covered his face with his hands for a second, and when he looked at you again, you couldn’t read his expression correctly. “Who told you about it? Where did you get it from?”
“Jeremiah.” That’s all he needed to know. And apparently it was enough for him to grasp the situation. He laughed humorlessly and shook his head, his hands squeezed tightly into fists by his sides.
“I will strangle him this time. I swear, I will—”
“Oh, please, Xavier, stop! What’s so wrong about me knowing? I was glad that someone finally enlightened me!” You couldn’t believe that he was so angry at you for knowing such an important thing. Not when from the moment Jeremiah said that he had a thing for MC for a long time, you wondered why he kept that a secret from you. “You never even said a word about it even though I thought we were best friends. I had to learn from someone else and that already hurt.” You wanted this conversation to be over. You wanted him to admit to it already and let you go away, with a broken, but at least free heart.
But he had different plans.
“Have you maybe thought that I never said a word about it simply because it wasn’t true?” He asked carefully, his voice still angry. “I just can’t believe you thought that I loved someone else—”
“What?” Your mind went blank. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts. “What do you mean it’s not true?” You sniffed quietly, confusion taking over your face.“B-But Jeremiah said that you had a past with her and—”
“I did. I had feelings for her once, but that was literal lifetimes ago!” His irritation didn’t ease in the slightest. “I had feelings for someone who looked similar to her. But she’s not the same person anymore, and even if she was I couldn’t possibly fall in love with her. Not now, not ever.” You stopped in your tracks, trying to analyze everything he was saying to you and failing miserably at it. You looked at his face, your expression puzzled, searching for an answer there, hidden between his beautiful, soft features. It shocked you to see that now he started to calm himself down, gaze genuine, an image of complete transparency.
You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea that you were mistaken. All this time, when you thought you never stood a chance, when you thought that he loved another, when you wanted to let him go—
“You’re not in love with MC.” It wasn’t a question anymore, your voice quiet while you were trying to process that thought. He must’ve seen how you fought with the thoughts inside your head, because he released a groan and took a step towards you. You unintentionally took one step back. He frowned.
“Of course I’m not.” Voice sweet like honey, stance sure, his eyes searched desperately for yours. He looked at your face, covered in tears and his eyebrows furrowed deeper, hating how upset you seemed and didn’t know how to reverse it. “How could I ever be, when your face is all I can see, every time I close my eyes?” He uttered looking at you with such devotion that it almost made your knees buckle.
Complete silence took over your thoughts after his confession. You didn’t know what was happening.
But fortunately, his mind finally started to piece everything together in a picture, that although was beyond frustrating to think about, was giving him so much hope for something he thought he already lost.
He allowed himself to relax, took a deep breath and finally decided to drop his inner shackles, letting his emotions flow out of him without restraint.
“You are the one that I love.” He said clearly, not moving a muscle. He wondered if you could see the quick movement of his chest, with how hard his heart was trying to escape through it to reach you. Whereas, you felt as if yours stopped moving completely, along with the time around you, not ready to believe that this was truly happening. “It was you from the very beginning. I adored you since the day I first saw you.” He continued, his gaze piercing into your face, slight confusion visible on his features. “And I thought that was obvious? I wasn’t exactly the best at hiding my feelings, especially after I told you about them the first night we spend together.”
You blinked slowly. Once, then twice.
Your head hurt. You couldn’t wrap it around everything he was saying. Xavier was in love with you? And he already told you about it? You were so confused that the only way you knew how to react was with denial.
“You—You didn’t. I didn’t know, you are not being serious.” He shook his head in disbelief.
“I did. You really don’t remember?” His tone softened, and he waited a short second for your answer, but couldn’t contain his nerves. “It was the night I kissed you for the first time, thinking that would be the last. But you reciprocated.” His eyes gleamed in the moonlight, and you found yourself holding your breath, afraid even the slightest sound might interrupt the flow of his confession.
“You—You kissed me back, and let me do things to you I only ever dared to dream about before.” He took another step your way, a small smile grazing his handsome face. “And the confession slipped out of me so naturally before we even reached the bed.” He briefly recalled that fateful night, describing the conversations you forgot, but longed to remember since that very moment.
“You didn’t reply, but you responded nicely to my touch, so I thought that meant that you wanted me too, that maybe you’d accept me. As your beloved. Your soulmate.” You brought your hand to cover your mouth. You couldn’t believe it. “But then in the morning when you woke up, you were panicking. I tried to reassure you, but you weren’t listening to me.”
That part of the story you knew by heart, him telling you that he couldn’t forget, didn’t want to forget. Back then you didn’t connect it with anything close to confession, but more with the change in your relationship. You really didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, you didn’t even dream about him loving you, when you though that he loved MC. Insecurities and false assumptions completely clouded your vision.
“And when you proposed staying friends, with the bonus of intimacy, of course I took the chance. I thought you remembered my confession and didn’t reciprocate my feelings, but I was so desperate that I would take anything you were willing to give me, even if it didn’t involve your love. I—” he cut off, blush flushed over his cheeks, up to the tips of his ears. He took a shaky breath. “I was clinging to the hope that maybe through the new shared intimacy I could show you how much you meant to me. And maybe, maybe someday you would start feeling the same, when you realized how good we are together and how good I can be for you.”
“Xavier—Oh my god.” You breathed, your hand still covering your mouth, your eyes never leaving his face. His beautiful, starstruck face, now so full of confusion and unspoken hurt. “Bunny, I’m so, so, so sorry. I had no idea, I—” Your voice practically a whisper, you were still coming to terms with the fact that your feelings were reciprocated. And that you were the one who complicated things between you. “I don’t remember anything you said to me that night. I couldn’t even hear you through the sound of my own blood thrumming in my ears, that’s how drunk I felt. How overwhelmed after our first kiss.”
The alcohol consumed that night also wasn’t of big help. You were a lightweight and you drunk only occasionally, so the few drinks you had already made you feel dizzy. Mixed with the intensity of your emotions, it overwhelmed you so intensely that his touch was all you could remember from that night. But now you could make it all alright.
“I only remember your touch, the things we did, and our conversation the next morning. I remember touching your hand and initiating the kiss, and my tipsy brain just thought that you went with it to forget about MC.” You said truthfully, letting it all pour out of you. Your cheeks burned with the embarrassment of admitting how desperate you were for him, that the thought he loved another didn’t stop you from having sex with him.
Then the blush deepened from the realization that from the very beginning the only one he was thinking about was you.
This thought made your head spin, the happiness slowly bubbling in your chest. Your whole body trembled.
“That’s— Fuck. You really don’t remember.” He shook his head again, realizing how deep the misunderstanding reached. “You didn’t initiate anything. I was the one who kissed you first.”
“No, I—”
“Yes. You touched my hand, smiled at me contentedly and said some things and I—I just couldn’t restrain myself any longer.” This time you were the one who started approaching him slowly. You needed him close. Always. And you realized that now you didn’t have any reasons to deny yourself that lack of distance. “You looked so soft, so open and kissable, and I just went for it. And then you reciprocated.” The light in his eyes started sparkling when he noticed that you were finally coming closer to him. He reached out his hand for you and you took it gently, still shaking from the unspoken emotions.
“I can’t believe it. All this time I thought that you were in love with someone else.” His hand was warm, the touch electrifying. You squeezed his hand and intertwined your fingers together. You saw how between your clasped hands, his Evol started shining brightly, shading soft light upon your features. It was a sign that he was excited. “I tried to put a distance between us, end this intimacy because I thought that I was just a second best for you. An easy distraction.”
“How could you think that? Almost from the moment I met you, I have loved you passionately—” He brought you even closer together, pulling you by your intertwined hands, and put his other hand on your cheek. He swiped the reminder of your tears with his fingers, looking into your eyes with a devotion so apparent that it took your ability to form coherent thoughts. How did you manage to miss the way he was always looking your way?
“X-Xavier.”
“I couldn’t even think about anyone else even if I tried to. You occupy my every thought. How could I ever find a place for somebody else in my heart when you fill the space out completely?” Everything that came out of his mouth was laced with impatience. He was trying so hard to make you understand him, and the intensity of his emotions. He couldn’t psychically hold it inside anymore, he restrained himself for so long that he felt as if all of his walls finally crumbled. He needed you to know everything.
“I love you, starlight. I’m so in love with you that I couldn’t contain that feeling inside anymore. I couldn’t even spend five minutes in your presence without trying to touch you, to kiss you, to hold you. My whole body longs for you constantly.” He said, thinking off the months after you started being friends with benefits. How at first he wasn’t sure how much he could take from you, and then, when he noticed that you didn’t mind the affection outside the bedroom, he couldn’t contain himself. He kissed you every time he had a chance, he touched you everywhere he could, he was trying to stay away from you as little as possible. Despite thinking that you did not reciprocate his feelings fully, his love for you flowed out of him naturally, every look and every touch laced with unconditional devotion.
During the period of your silence and avoiding him, he thought that it was because he finally crossed a line. He let his feelings out too much, he finally made you uncomfortable. He was starting to act as you lover, not as your friend and it wasn’t what you agreed to. He thought you still didn’t love him and maybe that was a sign that you never will. And even if that could be the case, he still couldn’t let you go.
And it appeared that he didn’t have to.
That you were not uncomfortable, but unsure.
That it was all a huge misunderstanding.
And the words that came out of your pretty, little mouth next, almost brought him to his knees.
“Xavier. Xavier me too, I—” You stuttered, completely overwhelmed by how much you were feeling. You squeezed his wrists, and looked deep into his beautiful, hopeful eyes. “I love you too. And I fell in love with you long before our first night together. I just thought that it was wishful thinking, because your heart was already taken by someone else. And that I could just stay beside you as your friend and that would be enough. And then share your bed from time to time, if that meant that I could hold you close, be on the receiving end of your affection.” You said and raised on your feet to place a quick kiss on his lips. He chased after you instantly, despite appearing stunned. You noticed his hands were shaking.
“You really mean it?” He asked, leaning towards you, kissing your lips again, this time for longer. He had trouble keeping his mouth away from yours, especially now, that he knew that every one of your kisses was filled with love. “Am I not dreaming this time?” You smiled and stroked his hair affectionately, petting his head, wanting to convey your feelings in every way possible.
“Xavier, I love you.” You repeated, grabbing his head in your palms and looking deep into his eyes. Your voice was strong, leaving no room for uncertainty. “I love you so mu—” He didn’t let you finish that sentence, because he quickly picked you up and spun you around, holding you in his arms. You giggled and put your arms around his neck, holding him tightly, his face buried in your neck. When he stopped, he quickly found your lips again and that kiss felt groundbreaking.
He held you close to him, one hand squeezing you by your waist, and the other holding your jaw gently. His brows furrowed in desperation and his kisses were slow, sensual, sending pleasant shocks throughout your whole body. His tongue made an appearance, and he tasted you in a way that made your legs feel like jelly. He licked into your mouth, grunting lowly, his fingers placing a strand of your hair behind your ear, then tracing patterns on your warm cheek. When you opened your eyes for a second, you could see that the tips of his ears were red. The blush spread through his cheeks too, making him look so adorable.
“It does feel like a dream.” He breathed between kisses. “And sounds too good to be true.” He captured your lips again and you smiled into his mouth. Your heart was about to burst.
“I love you.” You repeated, basking in the feeling of finally being able to say it out loud, be open with your emotions. He released your lips and kissed your forehead. You looked up, and he placed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, a wide smile adorning his face.
“Don’t stop saying that. You make me so happy.” He said quietly, and you whispered the confession once again, making him sigh shakily.
“I was so stupid. I should’ve asked you right from the start if what Jeremiah said was true.” You said and hugged him more tightly. “I should’ve told you sooner.” You placed your head on his strong chest, your ear touching his bare body, listening to his fast heartbeat. Your hands were hugging his waist, mindful not to touch his bandaged back.
“No, I foolishly thought that telling you once would suffice. I forgot that you drank that night and that could’ve clouded your memory.” He squeezed you harder to himself and started back away with you in his arms, until the back of his legs touched his couch. He feel into it, holding you close, making you sit on his lap. “To think that I could have you sooner—” He looked into your eyes, as if searching for something.
“You had me before, and you have me now. My heart, my body, my soul.” You positioned yourself more comfortably, placing your legs on both sides of his waist, and took his face into your hands. He closed his eyes at the contact, and started to caress your body, from your waist, down to your legs. He squeezed the plush of your tights and let his head fall against the couch pillows.
He couldn’t believe that this was happening. He prayed that this wasn’t a dream, that all of the things your were telling him were true. His chest vibrated pleasurably, incredible warmth spreading through it. His heart beat so quickly, and so loudly that he thought it was the first time he felt its’ beat so intensely himself. Your words made him feel drunk with emotion.
He opened his eyes to look at your face.
He almost choked with how beautiful you were. How divine, sitting on him, caressing his shoulders, smiling at him with the stars in your eyes. He looked at your lips, full and swollen, bearing the signs of his kisses. He looked at your neck, delicate and unmarked, and he stroked it with the back of his hand, wanting to change that fact immediately, knowing that now he was allowed to do that. He switched his gaze to your eyes again and drank them in, basking in their light, wishing that this moment could never end. Or maybe it should, so it could become your new beginning.
You were his treasure. His star, his light, guiding him through life, making his existence worth pursuing. You showed him that the world can be beautiful, despite it’s overbearing cruelty. You were his salvation, his safe place, his one and only, showing him every single day that he mattered, that he was not a lost cause, or a villain in disguise. You taught him that he was capable of loving so intensely and now, that he was loved as passionately in return.
He doubted his worth, but the only way he knew to prove his love for you was by protecting you with his very life. You had no idea, but his sword, now a symbol of your bond, was yours to command—and you were the only reason he continued to wield it.
“What are you thinking about?” Your voice was not more than a whisper, your eyes still looking into his starry ones, losing yourself in the deep blue. You loved them, how magnificent and expressive they were, and you swore to yourself to tell him about it every day.
He seemed to get out of the trace he was in, and his eyes softened, still taking you in. He smiled and took your hands into his, and kissed your knuckles, his kisses gentle and long-lasting.
“You.” He replied shortly, his voice gentle and reassuring. He put your hands on his shoulders, making you hug his neck with them. You complied and put your whole arms around his neck, bringing your bodies closer. One of his hands touched your waist, caressing it delicately, and the other one stroked your hair, admiring its’ softness. His eyes never left yours. “Always you, my starlight. Then, now, and till the end of my days. I will always carry you in my mind, and in my heart, to be able to reach you, no matter the distance.” You could feel his breath on your face with how close you were to each other, and he gazed at your open lips, which were already waiting to be kissed senselessly. “I love you, as I never loved anyone else in my life, and I never will again.” His lips captured yours in a kiss so soft, yet so desperate, and full of adoration, that you felt a single, happy tear escape from your eye. He deepened the kiss and held you throughout the night, kissing you and touching you, never wanting the moment to end, the warmth of your skin to become a memory.
It all started with the simplest of touches, and it never truly ended. The spark you ignited that first night has never faded. Since the moment you met, it has burned brightly between you both, a light so powerful that it could be seen across the vastness of deep space. Everlasting and exquisite, just like the different lifetimes you both had ahead of you, always finding each other, as if guided by it’s warmth.
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thank you for your time and please let me know if you liked it!! i was thinking of writing more for this au, maybe from xavier’s perspective? how they met and how he fell in love + how their first night really played out ♡
#l&ds xavier#❀˖° mochi writes!#xavier smut#xavier x reader#xavier love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace xavier#lads#lads xavier#lnds xavier#xavier x reader smut#l&ds sylus#lads smut#love and deep space smut#love and deepspace fluff#xavier fluff#xavier x you#xavier x you smut#lads sylus#love and deepspace x you#lads xavier x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader
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So because this is amazing and because I am hyperfocusing on Gravity Falls. Let me share a bit of Amelia's long-lost sister, Kelly Ness. Okay, they aren't sisters anymore, but still.
Kelly fell on the blue grass of a random dimension. She wasn't the type to keep note. The atmosphere was different, somehow safe and dangerous at the time. But again, she didn't particularly keep a note on things like that. Kelly just made a bee line to a mailbox inside either various stickers added to the tin. Mabels had a knack to give stickers to everything. But Kelly just gave them a cursory glance as her right eye gave her the info on each. Giving the coordinate to each stickers place of creation. She should make note of getting stickers for respectives Mabels. Sometimes, it was the only thing that could tell Kelly where to actually send the damm things. Eventually, she opened the mailbox with a specific key and looked through the letters. Some were boring ads that she threw around. No one needed those. Some were Stanfords incredible writings, making sure to say exactly who and where it should be sent. Other times, it was Stanley's doing letters of his own. They were often hard to send back. Mabels were also there. It was obvious with how much stickers and colors her letters had. She practically never had to read the content to know exactly where to go. A bit more, and she was wondering if Mabels just knew the mailbox wasn't actually magic. The rarest were of Dipper and McGucket. For whatever reason, these two either didn't bother make letters or weren't the type to fall in a portal. "Or maybe they both want to be left alone?"
She blinked, and her right eye started to smoke under the intense heat. Forcing Kelly to keel over and grip her eye as the letters floated around her. Smoke from her eye, holding onto them with annoyance. Through her right eye, she could always see something the one who spied. Well, what he saw, to be specific. A mirror was right in front of the demon. A man in his early 20s with brown curly hair broke through by antlers that seemed to either spill ink or petrol from every imperfection in the wood. His eyes were big, staring down the mirror for some kind of stability. Not to mention his long tail swiping at the air behind him. His clothes were still looking like a preacher from a school play. He looked incredibly annoyed. This was a very bad day. "Vulture, do I need to remind you not to insult the likes of me so blatantly."
Kelly wanted to scream that this was stupid, and she was allowed to ask questions. But she also knew better. Days like these, you needed to placate him. So Kelly still held the expression of pain and started to add a quiver to her voice. "I am sorry, I didn't mean for my words to cause harm. I was a fool to even think it in the first place."
The demon stared at his own reflection, closing his eyes too to be able to see her. He vaguely shook his head, making some his hair made of leaves fall to the bed surrounding him. "No, not a fool, just a bad day." He looked down at his hands and feet. His hands were now made of wood, and his feet were deer hooves. He hated this form with such wrath. But his eyes told that he knew better than to take her acting as proof. He didn't trust Bill anymore than she trusted him. He finally closed his eyes again.
Kelly sighed as the pain stopped. She breathed slowly and normally not to let the right eye see her weak. All the letters she had dropped were now safely in her hands, and she looked through them again. Filing them into various pockets in her messenger bag. Making sure she didn't put a letter for the wrong timeline or dimensions.
When she was finally done, she walked away until she could find a loophole in the dimension. Leaving it behind to give letters to family and friends.
This is Kelly Ness as a Mailman. They don't get uniforms because she is the only one.
My smol mini series about the drifting stars au is here!! Ft letters to Dipper!! May do more depending on the reception~
#gravity falls#gravity falls au#Kelly Ness (Mailman)#gacha life 2#drifting stars au#Blue=Pinetree Demon#BadDayBadEye#New Zodiac Signs Vulture for Heart Break.
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Kisses After Midnight
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader Smut
Summary: Joel gets back from a long patrol in the middle of the night. It’s clear that his baby missed him very much.
Notes: smut, sub!reader, soft!dom!joel, praise, dirty talk, unprotected piv, Joel calls reader every pet name in the book, teasing, slight orgasm denial, dd/lg vibes sorta (but no use of ‘daddy’), let’s play a game called how many times can the author use the word ‘sweet’ in one fic
For it being the end of the world, you and Joel had a pretty good life. He’d been in Jackson for about eight months—eight months in which he gave his heart to the sweetest little thing to ever walk the earth.
Your very existence seemed to be a mockery of the times you lived in. You were soft and sweet, edges not yet roughed. He didn’t know how you’d gone so long staying as doe-eyed as you did—hell, he didn’t know how you ended up with him. He felt far too…jaded. Far too rough to be with someone so beautiful and untainted.
And yet, you were drawn to him. He still remembered the first day you knocked on his door, asking in your honey-sweet voice, I told Maria I’d give you a tour of the town. Is that alright, Mr. Miller? Oh, he’d just about died then.
Things only took off from there. Something would break in your house, and he’d be called over to fix it. Then you would bring him some bread you baked as a thank you, and then he’d say, Well this is too nice, darlin.’ Why don’t you let me return the favor by putting some shelves up in your living room? He’d seen the piles of books at your bedside—your love of reading deserved to be displayed.
Somewhere along the way, you and Joel just…fit. Something clicked, and soon he was moving into your pretty little house, placing kisses to your pretty little lips, waking up pressed against pretty little you.
Yes, for the end of the world, you and Joel were doing quite nicely.
Except on long patrol days, that is. Oh, Joel knew how much you hated it. Now that you’d gotten used to sleeping in Joel’s arms you didn’t want to give it up, not even for a single night.
But Joel had a part to play in the community—he couldn’t stop working, no matter how much he wished he could spend all his time with you. He’d press kisses to your quivering bottom lip, murmuring reassurances that he would be back the very next night.
Which brought him to now. He’d spent a day and a half out in the cold with Tommy scanning for Clickers, thinking about his princess the entire time ice and wind battered his face. Finally, after a day and a half without seeing you, he was shaking the snow off his jacket and stepping inside your shared home.
Joel was quiet as he took off his shoes and shed his outer layers before heading upstairs. Once inside your room he stripped down to his cotton t-shirt and boxers, then slid under the covers beside you. He wrapped his large arm around your body, pulling you into him and was delighted to find you were wearing nothing but one of his shirts. He nuzzled the top of your head with his nose, then placed a kiss in your hair. “Hey there, sleepyhead.”
You let out a soft yawn, still groggy and half-asleep. “Hm?”
He chuckled lightly and kissed your cheek. “Wake up, pretty baby.” Normally Joel would never wake you up in the middle of the night, but you had explicitly asked him to do so every time he got back from a long patrol. He still remembered your teary eyes the morning after the one time he’d tried to let you sleep and just greet you in the morning. He’d never tried again after that.
Now you began to really stir, blinking your eyes as you looked up at him with a soft, sleepy pout that he wanted to kiss. However, it melted away when your eyes grew a little more alert. “Joel?”
He brushed the hair from your face. “Mhmm. I’m home,” he whispered before kissing you soundly on the mouth. He pulled away just slightly, eyes dancing over your face. “I missed my gorgeous girl’s eyes…and those lips, especially.”
You leaned up to plant another firm kiss to his mouth before holding to him, nuzzling your face into his neck, letting out a soft breath of something almost like relief.
He kept you pressed to the warmth of his body, “Was my little girl lonely ‘round here?” he murmured, rubbing your back gently.
You nodded into his neck. “Missed you.”
He chuckled, kissing your neck, holding you close. “I’m right here now.” His sweet thing. His nose brushed along your jaw and neck, taking in your scent. “Let me ease that pretty little mind a bit, hm?”
Your breath hitched and you nodded, eyes getting a little more glossy…
“C’mere, babygirl…” he whispered, cradling the back of your head to pull your lips to his. Joel’s hands roamed over the curves of your body, mapping out each and every familiar piece of you, his palms warm and strong against your skin. He nibbled at your bottom lip until you parted your mouth in a gasp to allow his tongue to slip inside.
Joel soon broke the kiss, panting softly before he started trailing his lips down your throat and collarbone, nibbling and sucking as he went. “Missed that pretty little voice,” he murmured in that low voice of his. “Can you use it again for me sweetheart?” Joel knew how you got when he spoke to you like this. He knew you would be putty beneath him in no time.
You nodded, letting out a strained, “Mhmm.”
Joel pressed your back to the mattress so you were looking up at him. “Use your words, babygirl,” he reminded, dipping to kiss up your throat again. “Or do I need to make you?” His teeth caught on the sensitive skin below your jaw.
You gasped. “I-I can use ‘em.”
“Good girl,” he murmured, pulling away to look at your face, studying your expression. His fingertips brushed the edge of your neckline. “Can I take all this off, baby?”
You nodded, eyes big and wide. “Yes Joel, please.”
He let out a short, breathy chuckle. “So polite.” With that he got to work, pulling the shirt over your head with one swift tug, leaving you bare beneath him. He looked you over greedily, tracing his hands over your sides, squeezing your thighs, making you squirm. “Oh, sweetheart,” he groaned, eyes falling over your body. “Look at my sweet baby.”
You let out a soft whine of impatience, but Joel cut you off. “Ah—you gonna be a good girl?” He knew you would be. You always were. He just liked hearing it from your strawberry lips.
You nodded, eyes doe-like. “Yes, promise!”
He smiled. “Always listen so well for me.” He sat up a little to remove his own shirt and throw it to the floor, but swiftly leaned back down to kiss you deeply. You tasted like honey on his tongue and his hands slipped along your sides to rest on your hips, locking you in place.
You uselessly tried to buck against his strong hold, trying to press the apex of your thighs closer to his, but he was having none of it. He chuckled. “Needy girl…always gotta have me ‘s close as possible, hm? So greedy, baby.” His sentence was punctuated by a nip to your neck.
“Jus’ missed you.”
“I know darlin’, I know.” Such a soft, sweet voice you had. He met your big, glassy eyes as his fingertips dragged along your neck….your collarbone…until he grasped one of your breasts with his large hand.
He silenced your gasp with his kisses. His sweet girl—so sensitive, you were. You whimpered into his mouth as he brushed his thumb over the peak of your breast.
How had he been apart from you so long?
You were aching. Joel always likes taking his time with you, you knew that, but sometimes all you wanted him to do was pin you down and ravish you instead of playing you like his favorite instrument, stringing his fingers along each little spot that would make you sing….
Joel’s warm mouth closed around your breast and you let out another soft whimper as he flicked his tongue over the peak. Your hands were in his hair, threading through the salt-and-pepper curls while his tongue and teeth were at work.
Eventually, you couldn’t take it anymore. “Joel,” you whined, voice quivering.
“Don’t worry pretty girl, I’m gonna give you what you need.” His fingertips dragged down the center of your tummy, drifting farther and farther below…
“Oh,” Joel cooed, and you moaned softly as his fingers dipped into your wetness. “You’re so ready for me, sweetheart.”
You felt like you could cry from the need, the white hot flames that needed to be fanned and then extinguished. “Joel—”
“I’ll take care of you, darlin’. Don’t worry your pretty little head.”
His thumb found purchase on your bundle of nerves and you keened, arching your back, trying to get closer closer closer while he stoked the fire between your legs. He held you the whole time, murmuring how beautiful you were, how pretty your little voice was, how good you were being for him.
You could feel yourself slowly unraveling; the thread of your very being was fraying, coming apart as you climbed higher, higher—
He removed his hand.
Oh, you whined at that, your climax being ripped away so cruelly and carelessly. “No, no, Joel I—”
“Shh, shh baby.” He quieted your protests with a kiss. “I just had to get you ready for me—want you to finish around my cock.”
His bluntness made you squirm, and you’d been so lost in your pleasure that you hadn’t realized you could feel his hardness against your hip, thick and heavy.
Joel shucked down his boxers and tossed them to the side while you lay there waiting, aching for that fullness you knew so well—
You squealed as he tapped the wet tip of his length against the bud atop your slit.
He chuckled and silenced your high-pitched noises with gentle shushing. “I gotcha, honey,” he murmured.
Then he slid inside.
Joel let out a soft groan next to your ear as he fully sheathed himself within your wetness. “So tight for me baby—“ He cut off with another grunt, sliding out before pushing right back in.
He was so big, his strong arms holding you as he rocked his hips, filling you up, up, up until you swear you could feel him in your tummy. Your walls clenched against him, breath hitching with every thrust.
“My baby,” he crooned, ducking his head to kiss along your neck and shower you with praises as he held you to him. “My sweet babygirl. Missed you so much out on the trail, thought about your pretty little pussy the whole time—”
Your head fell back with a gasp as the tip of Joel’s hardness tickled that spot deep inside that had your toes curling.
He chuckled. “Is that the spot, baby?” He pointedly thrust again, making you moan, and grinned knowingly. “Oh, I think it is, hm?” He picked up his pace again, hitting that spot over and over and over.
You felt something start to coil in your lower belly, something familiar and white-hot. Joel reached down to rub circles into your clit, which made you let out a high-pitched whimper and clench around his length.
You were babbling mindlessly, thoughts empty save for him and how good he was making you feel. “Joel, Joel, I—oh please—I need—”
“I know what you need babygirl.” His teeth caught on your earlobe as he kept his pace. “Can feel—fuck—can feel you clamping down on me. You gonna finish for me already?”
You nodded, your lips parted in a silent gasp of need, eyes big and wide as you whined out a desperate, “Mhmm!”
You bucked your hips into his, and this time when you felt your legs tighten, your breath fail, your tummy coil, Joel murmured hushed affirmatives you your jaw and neck and ear—
You cried out as you fell over the edge. Your back arched, your muscles seized, and your vision blurred with overwhelmed tears as you felt the warmth of Joel finishing inside you soon after.
“That’s it sweetie—fuck, so good for me, such a good girl falling apart on my cock, taking me so well—”
You were letting out desperate needy noises, his name falling from your lips like a prayer as the crackling heat lingered.
“I know, I know,” he murmured, claiming your lips, swallowing your whines with his mouth. “You did so good baby, so good….look at you, my pretty girl, my baby….”
Your body went lax, melting against him, each coo and murmur bringing you deeper under.
“That’s it…I’ve gotcha…” Joel maneuvered you as if you were light as a feather so that you were laying side by side, still connected, him still thick and warm inside of you.
Completely blissed out, you nuzzled into his chest, relishing in the feeling of his strong arms around you. Your eyes drooped.
“Tired already, babygirl?”
“Mmm.”
Joel hummed and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That’s okay, darlin’. Just fall back to sleep. I’ll be holdin’ you the whole night through.”
Soon the fog overtook your mind completely and you drifted off, comforted by the knowledge that your Joel was home again.
#bambi writes#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#n$4w#joel miller smut#the last of us#joel miller
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Birds of a Feather
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (friends to lovers)
Word Count: 2.5K
Summary: You have to attend a close relative's wedding and there's no one better to bring than your best friend, Bucky.
Author's Note: Seeing so much of happy Seb lately-and looking so good-made me want to write something sexy and fluffy so here we are. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thanks Daisy!🥰
Warnings: soft and sweet, tense and flirty, Bucky is the best in every way!
‘Come on up. Room 322.’
His thumbs hang limply over the phone screen, his brain going blank.
When he sent the text ten seconds earlier to let you know he’s arrived he figured you would meet him down in the lobby or at the hall.
Meeting you in the hotel room is a problem he anticipated when he gave himself a pep talk before leaving.
“She’s your best friend. Don’t do anything stupid…like go to the hotel room.”
His fingers finally start to move over the letters. ‘I can meet you down here…’
But maybe you need help with something?
He deletes the text, now typing, ‘is there anyone with you?,’ but that just sounds weird and possessive.
‘I can see you typing,’ you text. ‘Just come up. I need help.’
With a laugh, he deletes everything again and types simply, ‘be right there doll.’
His long legs carry him quickly to the elevator and when he presses the button for the third floor he takes a deep breath, his pulse climbing it’s way up his throat.
The door to your room is propped open with the dead bolt, but he knocks anyway.
“Come in Buck!”
Pushing it open just enough to peek his head in, he calls out, “I could be anyone, and you just invite me in without checking!”
“You just texted me you were coming up,” you sing from the bathroom, quickly continuing before he can say more, “and most of the people on his floor are friends or relatives here for the wedding.”
“Well, I’m glad to know you take your safety as seriously as I do,” he shouts back.
Your voice gets louder as you walk into the bedroom. “With you around I never have to worr…”
You stop for a breath when you see him, but your next words are lost to the blank void of his brain as he takes in your dress and how you look in it. To put it simply- stunning.
“Bucky?”
He startles, having no idea how long he’d been silent.
“Yeah doll…that’s…I’m here.”
When he finally drags his eyes to your face, you’re fighting a smile. “I asked if you could help me?”
“Oh, right. Sure. With what exactly?”
He cringes but steps closer.
“My dress?”
You turn around to show him the fabric at the back that hangs open, a tiny zipper dangling down at your lower back.
Trying to suppress a groan, but not being entirely successful he swallows hard. “That zipper looks very tiny.”
“It is,” you agree. “I realize I should have asked someone with smaller hands to help me out, but everyone is running around with their own nonsense so here we are.”
He approaches with a casual, “sure, of course doll.”
But then he does something without fully realizing it until the shiver runs along your back: he drags a knuckle down the curve of your spine.
You turn and look at him over your shoulder.
He just blinks and looks down to grab the zipper, mumbling about how small it is.
It’s quiet as he carefully pulls the zipper up and when he reaches the top he lets it fall and gently runs a finger along the top of the dress as he moves around to look at you.
“All set,” he whispers.
You smile and clear your throat before giving him an appreciative once over.
“You look hot.”
“Thanks doll. You…” and he struggles when his voice comes out a bit strangled, “you look breathtaking.”
You reach up and touch his bow tie, pulling at the neatly tied ends as you tell him, “I was hoping you’d arrive a flustered mess over how to tie this so I could do it for you.”
With a grin, he reaches up and tugs the end, untying it in a smooth pull.
“Figure you should do something in return after I battled that zipper,” he teases.
Still smiling, you take a hold of the tie, tugging it to align the ends evenly around his neck. “I didn’t get the impression it was such a hardship.”
His answering smirk is so telling you have to stifle a laugh.
“Are you feeling ready for this? I know these big events aren’t your favorite.”
“I’ll manage just fine doll, thanks. Besides, I’ve got the most beautiful date in the whole place.”
With your focus still on his bow tie he takes the opportunity to openly stare. When you smile at his sweet words he’s mesmerized by the way your soft lips part and his eyes stay glued to your mouth.
You look up to meet his gaze and he quickly lifts his eyes, a light pink sweeping across his cheeks.
You blink away and he looks down at your hands, noting the very little progress you’ve made.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
“Well…yes. I’m sure I can…”
“You’ve never done this before, have you?”
“You might be right!,” you quip, “but I’m no quitter.”
He’d be happy to stand there all night.
You finally step back, surveying your work, and frown. “I’m going to be honest, not sure I made it look as good as you did.”
He looks down and undoes the mess and you glower as he handily fixies it.
“Wow, no need to gloat you butthead.”
He lets out a full-bodied laugh, eyes crinkled, and nose scrunched, and you enjoy the sight before he explains, “I’ve done it a million times. I’m always the one in the tux when we go undercover.”
“That’s because you’re the one that looks the best.”
“Thanks doll,” he answers quietly.
“There are so many people here,” you whisper as you lead him through the crowd in the hall.
He let’s out a low whistle, nodding in agreement and aking in the décor.
You greet people as you walk, introducing Bucky to those that don’t already know him. Their eyes follow you, curiosity piqued in their expression as they wonder who he is to you.
You wonder the same. Your favorite person in the world. Your best friend…and so much more?
You take his elbow and guide him forward toward the outside set up where the ceremony will take place. On the way you find your grandmother and introduce him.
Since he can’t take his eyes off you he notices the subtle shift in your demeanor, the softening of your face and the adoration in your eyes.
He expects a gentle handshake but instead gets pulled in for a hug.
“Oh darling, isn’t he a sight,” you grandma says, patting Bucky’s cheek. “And you,” she says, turning her eyes your way. “Gorgeous.”
“Thanks grandma,” you beam.
A woman whizzes by, catching your eye and pointing to her watch.
“Looks like it’s time,” you announce.
Bucky holds out one arm for your grandma and the other for you.
“And a gentleman too,” your grandma gushes as she loops her arm through his. “Definitely a keeper.”
“You can keep grandma company,” you say as you approach the chairs.
“Of course, doll,” he says and leans in to kiss your cheek before helping your grandma into her seat.
“I’ll see you after the ceremony.” You gather your dress and turn to head back inside to meet the wedding party. “Miss me,” you call over your shoulder with a playful smile.
He stares as you walk away, quietly admitting, “I already do.”
Slight nerves take over when you hear the music start but the moment you walk out into the crowd your eyes zero in on Bucky. And what do you know? He’s looking right back at you…and he doesn’t take his eyes off you the whole ceremony.
After the ceremony it takes forever to work your way through the crowd to him, and in between catching up with friends and family or directing someone somewhere, you catch glimpses of him smiling and laughing with your grandma and happily keeping her company.
When you finally do reach him, your grandma has been safely escorted to her seat and now a woman hangs off his arm- Jessica. You know her, an old family friend, and you like her well enough, but you step up behind them right as she asks Bucky if she can steal him for the first dance, and your stomach drops.
You jerk to a stop. He hasn’t seen you. He should accept. You’ll hate it, but you’re not in any position to protest.
But then Bucky says only a gentle, “sorry, no can do. Tonight, I’ve only got one dance partner.”
Your heart nearly leaps out of your chest, and you step closer, swallowing down the emotion.
“Hey you two!”
Bucky turns, extracting his arm from Jessica and setting a warm palm at your lower back.
“And here she is. My favorite dancing partner.”
Jessica leans around from his other side and says hello.
“Thanks for coming,” you tell her.
“Oh my god, of course. I wouldn’t miss it. And I was just meeting your friend, James, here.”
She emphasizes the word friend and at her usage of his real name you have to hold back a giggle.
“Isn’t he wonderful,” you hum, sliding your hand up his bicep. “He’s been keeping my grandmother company this whole time.”
She swoons and smiles at Bucky before turning back to you.
“He is. I just wasn’t expecting you to have a date. You’re usually always flying solo at these family events.”
You feel the smile slipping from your face and an uncomfortable laugh escapes.
The simple answer never comes to you, and you feel caught like a deer in the headlights.
“Actually, that’s only because I was away for work,” Bucky steps in smoothly. “I hate to miss any chance to be her date, but my schedule can be pretty demanding sometimes.”
“Oh, you’re so sweet,” Jessica says. “Work is important of course.”
“Yeah,” he answers, “but not as important as her. So, from now I won’t be missing another event.”
Jessica’s face does a thing. It’s a barely restrained, ‘oh okay, I see.’
Bucky’s smile remains but it doesn’t look entirely natural anymore but when he looks at you, every emotion on his face is genuine.
“Ready to find our seats doll face,” he asks you.
“Sure,” you reply.
“Well, it was nice to meet you Jennifer. Enjoy the party.”
With a firm hand, he leads you away. You allow yourself to be guided up the grassy path and indoors to where a band plays. Bucky grabs you two flutes of champagne off a passing tray and hands you one.
“That was swoony,” you tell him then take a sip.
“All I did was grab it from a tray doll. Time to raise your bar a bit.”
Laughing, you smack his beefy shoulder with your free hand. “Not that! The way you gently let Jennifer have it back there.”
He takes a sip, eyes on you. “She deserved worse, but I didn’t want to start trouble.”
With your brow raised you match his mischievous grin then you take his glass and set it down on one of the small tables, leading him to the dance floor.
He looks confused at first but when your hands slide up his chest and around his neck he circles his arms around your waist.
He relaxes against you, hands warm and strong on your lower back and you rest your cheek to his shoulder.
“You’re always so comfy.”
“Thank you.”
“And you always look out for me.”
He presses a kiss to your temple.
“Of course, doll.”
“You’re my favorite person in the Universe.”
He doesn’t respond at first, not for five or ten or thirty seconds. You keep waiting for the feeling of rejection in his silence but instead it feels like an agreement and finally his words confirm it.
“Mine too, doll.”
Your quiet slow dance is the last moment alone you have for the next few hours because what follows is a whirlwind of a reception.
And the whole time he can’t take his eyes off you.
“Think I’m ready to get out of here,” you say as you slump against his side.
He carefully holds you up as he stands and reaches to take your hand.
“Come on doll face. I’ll take you home.”
When you reach your apartment door your feet are aching, and your legs are tired. You retrieve your key from the hidden pocket in your small purse and slide it into the doorknob.
“I’m going to need you to unzip me,” you say, gesturing casually to your dress.
His silence makes you slowly turn around to face him and when you meet his eyes they’re heavy with heat and desire.
“Bucky?”
“Turn back around,” he says gruffly.
You do as your told and feel his exhaled puff of air against your bare shoulder before he takes your wrists in this hands and places your palms flat against the door. His metal fingers slide down one arm then trace the curve of your shoulder, while his other toys with the small zipper.
He starts to pull it down, so slowly, you feel every brush of his skin against yours and it sends a tremble across your body. For every new inch of your skin that he exposes his breath quickens. You can feel the heat of him so close and your fingers press into the hard wood of the door.
Once the fabric hangs loosely at the sides he stops and slips his hands inside to your waist and turns you back to face him.
“You’re so soft,” he murmurs. “I…”
You drag your fingers along his temple and down his jaw. Your finger falls to his bottom lip, tracing it’s outline.
You can see it in his eyes, the understanding that everything between you is easy and you don’t have to try. It’s too good.
Your gaze drops to his lips again and your mouth goes soft. “Kiss me Bucky.”
The words are just barely out of your mouth and he’s already leaning in, lips on yours, warm and urgent, his hands rising to cup your face. Your instincts send tight, possessive fists to the lapels of his jacket and you melt completely into the domination and tenderness in his touch.
With a quiet groan he tilts his head, deepening the contact into a decadent slide, sending a hungry hand down your body once again and grabbing your ass to press all your softness against the hard planes of his body.
He catches your bottom lip between his teeth, drags slowly away, and you chase the contact, but he stops you, pressing his thumb over your lips.
He stares for what feels like forever, then kisses you again, lingering before he murmurs, “you’re so beautiful,” into the sensitive skin below your ear, and then repeats it quietly into your neck.
“Are you going to stay the night?” you ask breathless.
“If you’ll have m…”
“Yes. Yes Bucky.”
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader
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He listens while you yap
pairings: boyfriend! enhypen x reader | listener x yapper trope
caution: be prepared for their randomness (•‿•)
author's note: This is my first time trying something like this, and I thought, why not switch things up? If you enjoyed it and want more like this, just let me know! Happy reading!
permanent tag list: @sol3chu @chlorinecake @13tter @jung1w0n
HEESEUNG
You explained an article you found earlier and made an especially interesting point. “So, apparently, there’s this theory about how—wait, are you even listening?” you paused mid-sentence then glancing up at Heeseung.
He was just staring at you the entire time.
“Am I talking too much?” you asked, feeling embarrassed. Was he bored? You might have been talking for hours...well, you were.
“I’m sorry,” you added. Feeling guilty.
Heeseung tilted his head slightly. His lips formed a gentle smile that quickly made you feel comfortable. “No, not at all. I’m just listening,” he said gently. “You always have the most interesting things to say.”
You blinked. For a moment, you were caught off guard by his words.. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I’m just rambling about random stuff half the time.”
He chuckled softly while shaking his head. “Not to me. You make even the most ordinary things sound extraordinary. Like you’re breathing life into them.”
“Come on, that’s a bit much,” you teased though you were shy with his words.
He shook his head slowly. “It’s not. You could talk about the lifespan of jellyfish, and I’d still want to hear every word.”
You laughed. “Seriously? Jellyfish?”
“Yup,” he said with a grin. Heeseung’s eyes crinkling at the corners. “I don’t think you realize how much I enjoy hearing you talk.”
You looked at him for a moment. Your laughter turned into a warmer feeling. “You always know how to make me feel special, right?”
Heeseung smiled more. “I’m just telling the truth. You’re the one who makes everything feel special.”
Your heart swelled at his words, and you couldn’t help but grin. “You’re too good at this, you know. No wonder everyone’s always talking about how sweet you are.”
He lightly shrugged. “Only for you.”
JAY
You plopped down next to Jay on the couch, “Last night, I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup,” you said, not even glancing at him.
Jay didn’t even look up from what he was doing, though you knew he was listening. “Oh?”
“Yeah. And you were mustard. Which is weird because you’re usually mayonnaise in my dreams.” You said it matter-of-factly.
Jay glanced over at you and gave a small smile. Your boyfriend didn’t even question it anymore.
“Mhm. We were sitting on a picnic table, minding our own business,” you continued, staring blankly ahead. “Then this kid comes over, grabs you, and squeezes you all over a hot dog.”
“Of course,” Jay muttered, his smile still there.
“And then they grabbed me and put me on french fries,” you said, your voice now lighter. “But even though we were on different foods, we ended up on the same plate.”
Jay gave you a soft look. “Of course you did.”
“Yup. It’s like… no matter what, we always end up together,” you said nonchalantly. “Even if we’re on different things, we’ll always end up on the same plate.”
Jay didn’t react much, just looking at you with that same fond smile. “Ketchup and mustard, huh? That’s one way to put it.”
“Yep.” You nodded as if you were completely confident in the analogy. “It’s like fate, you know?”
Jay leaned back. “Fate. Of course. You’re the ketchup, and I’m the mustard.”
“Exactly,” you said, kicking your legs a little. “I mean, I’m obviously the star of the show, but you do make a good sidekick.”
Jay laughed quietly to himself, shaking his head. “You’re the star, hm?”
“Of course,” you said, completely unfazed, “but you still belong next to me.”
“Right,” Jay replied with a small, affectionate smile. “Next to you, always.”
And just like that, he continues to look at you with the same smile as you continue to talk, absolutely in love with you.
JAKE
You were pacing around the room, hands gesturing wildly as you went off about the movie you’d just watched. “And don’t even get me started on the plot twist—like, I saw it coming from a mile away! But, still, how could they—ugh, I can’t wrap my head around it!”
Jake sat on the couch with one arm stretched across the backrest. “Go on, tell me more,” he said, his voice smooth and teasing.
“Okay, but can we talk about that scene? The main character falls—of course—and she’s like, ‘Save yourself!’” You rolled your eyes dramatically. “Like, girl, what? Just get up! Run with your friend! Why are you making it so dramatic?”
“Mhm,” he hummed, clearly holding back a laugh.
You kept going, utterly oblivious to his gaze. “I mean, realistically, if I fall, I’m grabbing your arm and dragging you down with me. We’re both going down. There’s no ‘save yourself’ moment. You’re coming with me.”
Jake chuckled, shaking his head. “Good to know.”
“And the friend?” you continued, throwing your hands up. “She’s just standing there, like, ‘Noooo!’ for too long. Like, hello? Help her up and run!”
Jake leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’d definitely survive in a movie.”
“Oh, absolutely,” you said, pointing at him. “I’m not wasting time with emotional goodbyes. We’re both making it out, or no one is.”
Jake grinned, his voice dropping just slightly. “So, you’d save me?”
You froze for a second before narrowing your eyes. “Obviously. I’d even ensure you didn’t trip in the first place.”
He laughed softly. “And here I was, thinking you’d be the one tripping on purpose just to get me to catch you.”
Your jaw dropped. “I would NOT!”
Jake smirked. “You totally would.”
“I’d be saving both of us!”
“You’re hot,”
You froze. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said.
Of course, he had to flirt.
You crossed your arms tighter, fighting back a smile. “Okay… what? That’s random. You’re distracting me.”
“That’s kind of my thing, isn’t it?” Jake grinned wider, tilting his head. “Admit it, baby.”
You shook your head with a sigh. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” But the way your heart fluttered at his words? You couldn’t deny it.
SUNGHOON
You paced around the room as you got lost in recounting the day. “And I visited my parents today! I missed them so much…it was the best.”
Finally, you stopped mid-stride and turned to face him, hands on your hips. “Okay, are you even listening? Or are you zoning out again?”
You have seen your boyfriend zoning out often, especially in the mornings. You wouldn’t be surprised if today were one of those days.
But he chuckled softly, wanting to assure you. “I’m listening. I always do.”
You tilted your head. “Even when I’m rambling about stuff that’s probably unimportant?”
“Especially then,” he said, his dimples appearing as his smile grew wider. “I like hearing you talk. It makes me happy.”
Your arms crossed, though you couldn’t fight the grin pulling at your lips. “You like when I yap on and on?”
“Not the yapping part,” Sunghoon teased. “It’s the way you’re so happy when you talk. You’re glowing, and I can’t look away.”
That made your cheeks heat up. “I’m just telling you about my day.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But you light up when you talk about the things you love. I could listen to you all day. It’s comforting.”
“Comforting?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. Oh?
He nodded as his eyes began to soften. “Yeah. It’s like you’re letting me see a part of you no one else does.”
Your lips curved into a smile. “I never thought I’d be comforting while going on about my life.”
Sunghoon’s smile grew. “You’d be surprised.”
SUNOO
“…and I don’t even know why they didn’t just say that in the first place! Would it have been so hard? Honestly…” you trailed off, glancing at Sunoo, watching you with the softest smile.
You blinked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” he asked, his smile widening.
“Like you’re completely entertained by my nonsense.”
“Because I am,” Sunoo admitted without hesitation. “I love it when you yap.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yap?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “You go off about the most random things, and I love it. It’s my favorite background noise.”
You playfully gasped. “Background noise? You’re saying I’m noise?” How dare he?!
“Sweet noise,” he corrected, grinning cheekily. “The kind I never want to tune out.”
You rolled your eyes, but there was no hiding the blush on your cheeks. “So you want me to keep going?”
Sunoo nodded eagerly. “Of course! Why do you think I never interrupt you?”
Tilting your head, suspicious. “What if I talk about like….I don’t know... talk about socks?”
He laughed softly. “You don’t realize how cute you are when you get all caught up in your little stories.”
You tried to fight the smile tugging at your lips but gave up quickly. “Fine. But you’re stuck with me talking forever.”
Sunoo’s eyes sparkled. “Lucky me.”
JUNGWON
You were sprawled on the carpet while Jungwon sat next to you, quietly listening with that ever-patient expression.
“…and I don’t get it! Why would you even bring a cat to a grocery store? What’s the cat gonna do? Pick out your produce?” You threw your hands up, exasperated. “Next thing you know, they’ll be pushing their pets in carts like it’s totally normal.”
Jungwon blinked at you. You can see his lips twitching.
You squinted. “You’re holding back a laugh, aren’t you?”
“No,” he said, lips pressed together tightly.
“Yes, you are!” You pointed at him accusingly. “You’re trying so hard not to laugh right now.”
He cracked. His shoulders shook as he let out a small giggle. But then it escalated. His hand flew to his stomach, and he was laughing so hard that he tipped backward.
“HAHAHAHAHA OH MY—AHHHH HA HA HA HA!”
You sat there, wide-eyed. “Is it that funny?”
He nodded, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. “It’s not even the story! It’s you! You’re so serious about the ridiculous things—AHHH HA HA AHH HAHA—I can’t!”
You crossed your arms, pouting. “I was making a valid point.”
“I know, I know!” Jungwon wheezed, wiping his eyes. “But you looked so offended! Like, personally attacked by the cat in the store.”
“Well, someone had to say it!”
Jungwon shook his head. “You’re too much.”
You huffed. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“Because you love me,” he teased, his laughter finally calming down.
You rolled your eyes but smiled despite yourself. “Maybe.”
“Definitely,” he said, still grinning. “Now, please. Keep going. I need another good laugh.”
NI-KI
You were going on about how your day went, and Ni-ki, leaning against the doorframe, watched you as he kept grinning. He wasn’t saying much but teasing you with every detail you mentioned. “Wow, you don’t stop talking, huh?” Ni-ki said with a smirk.
You raised an eyebrow. You do not want to back down. Especially to him. “I’m just sharing my day, okay? You don’t have to listen if it’s too much.”
“Oh, I’m listening,” Ni-ki said as he stepped forward. “I just didn’t know you had this much to say. You’ve been talking for hours, baby.”
You shot him a look, unfazed. “Oh, please. You know I talk plenty, just not to you.”
Ni-ki chuckled, pushing himself off the doorframe and walking over to you. “I think you talk to me more than you realize. You just don’t want to admit it.”
You scoffed, crossing your arms. “I don’t know about that.”
“Uh-huh. You’re giving me the full lecture today. You can’t hide it,” he teased. “And honestly, I’m enjoying it.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to act indifferent. “Of course you are; you love it when I talk.”
Ni-ki shrugged dramatically. “Guilty as charged. Your yapping is one of my favorite things. Keeps me entertained.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at how easily he could get under your skin, even with his teasing. “Well, I hope you’re ready for more because I’m not stopping anytime soon.”
“Bring it on,” Ni-ki said with a wink, clearly looking forward to hearing all of it.
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fics#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung imagines#park jongseong x reader#park jay x reader#jay x reader#jay imagines#sim jake x reader#sim jaeyun x reader#jake sim x reader#jake x reader#jake imagines#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#kim sunoo x reader#sunoo x reader#sunoo imagines#yang jungwon x reader#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#nishimura riki x reader#ni ki x reader#ni ki imagines
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Hello fellow ADHDer, may I interest you in some management tools?
Option 1: goblin.tools the AI tool that breaks down tasks for you. (Note: if you don’t want to use AI, you can skip to Option 2)
You can delete sub-tasks that don’t apply to you, or click the 🪄 icon to break down sub-tasks further. I often find that I’m not overwhelmed by the number of steps, but instead by trying to hold all those tiny steps in my glitchy working memory.
Option 2: Domestic Labor & Dragons. This strategy originated on TikTok, and most citations trails lead back to @this.isjules but I was unable to find the original video. Here’s my version of it:
1. On a day when you have a brain cell, make a list of the chores in your house by room or section. Number each item, try to make your list lengths correspond to standard dice numbers so that you can roll on them as tables later. Your options are: 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, and 20. 🎲
3. Assign point values to each chore. The number of points doesn’t matter, but I like using 5pts for easier tasks, 10pts and 15pts for medium tasks, and 20pts for especially hard tasks. I made two lists for some unintelligible reason. You can just put the points on the same page, just like write them in another pen color or something.
4. Make your monster. Draw it badly. Use a randomizer website or pull from the monster manual if you want, just don’t get too precious with it, the monster’s purpose is to be defeated and we’re gonna scribble on it. If you want to do a big cleaning day, tally up your total possible points for doing every chore in your house, then divide that by two. (For me, all chores add up to 400pts so I make most of my Big Monsters 200pts)
5. FIGHT! Most of the time I really only end up needing to use the Roll for Chores sheet and the dice, but it’s really fun to scribble on the monster as they take damage and your house gets cleaner. You can optionally assign some reward for defeating the monster, but I just like the dopamine hit of defeating my Blorbo. Mine reset to baby mode upon defeat as seen with Bitey above. Final note: if you refill the same chore twice, take a break!! Get food!! The people who tell you to never stop moving are on their way to burnout!!! You can get momentum again by rolling the dice “just to see” what the next chore would be.
More options: Body Double with a friend, Roleplay that you’re Cinderella or your favorite character, put on a dance music album and only clean until the music stops, invite a friend over to have a reason to make your space clean when they arrive, put on videos of professional cleaners helping people get their space in order, hide shelf-stable snacks at the bottom of piles of clutter and only eat them once you’ve reached the bottom of that pile. Do whatever works! Throw shame out the window! If it works for you it’s not dumb!
(Note: this acronym is also sometimes called INCUP or FOCUS. I just like PINCH best.)
Good luck out there, friends! Now I have to go do the cleaning that I procrastinated by making this post. 😅
Sincerely,
A fellow ADHDer ♾️🦋
Clean home checklist:
"Do the laundry" as if doing laundry doesn't have 27 individual steps that each require other tasks to get done. Each task runs the risk of starting additional secret tasks.
"Organize kitchen" my brain has malware and it's overheating. CPU at 100%. There are no executives at my function
#adhd#managment tools#I made a whole book of these in the year between getting diagnosed and getting medicated#lmk if y’all want to see any other sections#like the one on going to bed#managment menagerie#goblin tools#goblin.tools#AI#coping strategies#domestic labor and dragons#roll for chores#PINCH#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#chores#housekeeping
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jeno knowing how you are before your period
𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 제노 x fem!reader ) ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ fluff. content warning. mentions of blood. language. 0.5k word count. 0.5k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library !
𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ this is so cute !!
“can you not?”
jeno looked around the room confused; because he hadn’t done anything. “baby can i not what?” you huffed, rolling your eyes. “what baby?”
“breath so loudly i don't know it’s annoying.” you stood up walking into the kitchen. “and why didn’t you wash the dishes?” he heard you fussing with yourself. “because i just got home from the gym baby.” he heard the dishes clanking around in the sink , standing up to join you in the kitchen. “i can do it now if you want.” you shook your head. “no , no i can do it , i do everything around here , go , go watch tv or play the game like you always do.”
“i don’t always play the game.” you stared blankly at him. “are you seriously gonna play in my face right now?” you asked. “move go.” you pushed him out of the kitchen. “get out of the kitchen.”
“fine , have it your way.” he sat back down on the couch, listening to you murmur and go on about the dishes. jeno pulled out his phone; going to the period tracker app — that’s where it all came together, your sudden attitude change, the irritably. “baby your acting like this because your period is coming.” the made you halt everything; slowly turning around. “are you seriously saying that right now?”
“im just say— are you saying I can’t be mad, that it must be my period and that’s why im mad , i can’t just be mad at you.” jeno put his hands up in defense. “no baby you’re right , you can be mad at me.” he said , you scoffed rolling your eyes. “i don’t even want to talk to you right now.” you threw the rag down in the sink , walking to your shared room. jeno sighed hearing the door slam , shaking his head with a smile… he knew you were about to be super apologetic in about an hour or two , but he wasn’t about to piss you off even more so he let you be.
after sitting in the darkness of your room; you get up and go to the bathroom — only to be met with a bloody mess inside your underwear. “shit.” you hissed , jeno was right. cleaning yourself up, changing into some comfortable pants , making your way back out into the living , plopping down on the couch with your arms folded. he gives you a side you to make sure the air was clear to talk. “you okay baby?” you glare at him. “do i look okay?” he nods , before pulling you into his lap. “let me go.”
“stop fighting me and stop being so mean.” he nudges his nose against your cheek. “your stomach hurts?” his big hand coming to cover your stomach. “you need some tea?” you shook your head no , nuzzling your head in his neck. “m’sorry.” you whisper. “hm?” running his thumb over your knuckles. “i said im sorry for being mean.” he chuckled. “it’s okay baby , i know this was coming.” he said , you scoffed. “im trying to apologize.” you pouted , he flicked your bottom lip. “its okay baby.” he said. “im prepared for all your outbursts of emotions.”
“why do you have a answer for everything?”
“because i love you , that’s why.”
©️LUVYENI
#nct smut#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#nct dream x reader#nct dream x female reader#nct dream fanfic#nct dream smut#nct dream hard thoughts#nct dream hard hours#nct x female reader#nct dream fic#lee jeno smut#lee jeno scenarios#lee jeno x reader#lee jeno fanfic#jeno x reader#jeno hard thoughts#jeno
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▒ ❀ ̭͡⠀ ❛ SOME ENCOURAGEMENT. NAM-GYU / PLAYER 124
nam-gyu attempts to recruit beloved, timid reader into thanos’s world. all it takes is a little encouragement.
𖥔 ࣪˖ TAGS, nam-gyu is a little pushy (but everything is consensual between him and reader) | unconsensual voyuerism (again everyone is asleep but i don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable) | ooc characters (first time writing for nam-gyu) | minor degradation & praise (+humiliation(?)) | use of the words slut, good girl, etc. | fingering | minor dacryphilia | just a silly little imagine | nam-gyu is lowkey manipulative | reader is a freak with a thing for fingers/hands | etc.
𖥔 ࣪˖ NOTES, writing smut on company time is actually hilarious, idk why i got this idea during work. but anywho — i hope you enjoy, i tried my hand at his character. as always please ignore any grammar mistakes or typos.
Imagine Nam-Gyu attempting to recruit someone without the advice of his beloved purple-haired leader. Surprising, right? Despite his own issues with inferiority; the ex-club worker just seems to follow behind Thanos like a hungry puppy desperate for a bone— or drugs, for that matter. But no, just this once, Nam-Gyu takes the lead. The numbers are growing closer and even more scarce, fear lacing people’s minds and causing them to hit that dreaded X button. Thanos’s World’s dream is to continue the games to pay off their debts, right?— so it only made sense for Nam-Gyu to turn an X over to the O side.
He couldn’t just pick anyone. Someone far too strong-willed would definitely tell him no, and someone far too weak would just be a curse rather than a blessing.
Who to choose.. Who to choose..
Soon enough the man’s eyes are locking on to you— a contestant he has seen around, yet hasn’t heard much from. Not only were you easy on the eyes but you just seemed like the perfect person to shape into a worthy teammate.
Within minutes he’s approaching you, an easy-going smile in place as your name falls from his lips. Nam-Gyu had heard it said before by someone close to you, another random that he hadn’t bother to think about.
“Yes..?” Your words are slow, lips pursing as you take in the man before you. You were beyond nervous; this was the lackey of that purple-haired lunatic after all. Watching the two fight on the very first day was enough to tell you to avoid them at all costs. Yet here you were, a few feet away from one of them, under his gaze that trailed over you like a pretty piece of jewelry behind a display case.
You couldn’t help but bring your hands closer to yourself, teeth dragging across your cheek nervously.
From your head to your toes, Nam-Gyu’s eyes soon landed on that big red patch residing just under your bosom. With a breathy chuckle he reached over, allowing a single finger to press and trace the X.
“You wanna get out of the games that bad, huh? You voted X twice already.”
Your eyes flicked down to his hand, before traveling back to his face. “Yeah well..” You dragged slowly, watching that harsh gaze return to your features.
“I—I want to get rid of my debts.. but putting my life on the line for it just seems..” You hoped you got your words across perfectly, even without continuing your sentence. Sure, it was hard being hounded for your debts, but death looming over your head just didn’t seem worth it.
Still, Nam-Gyu only shook his head at you, a sigh full of pity escaping his lips.
“Well, that’s where you’re messing up.” Nam-Gyu hummed, stepping just a bit closer, finger still tracing that damned patch. Your attention kept flicking between his face and finger, wondering why exactly warmth was pooling throughout your entire body.
“Worrying too much about dying is what’s gonna get you killed, not anything else.”
Your eyebrows knitted close, a look of confusion plastered across your face. Worrying seemed like the right way to keep yourself alive.. right? Not worrying just seemed, well— stupid. Not that you would say that to his face, obviously.
“I have to disagree..”
Just barely did you hear the sound of the man sucking his teeth, watching the way his face turned to the side, clearly searching for his next few words. You debated on walking away from this conversation, it was clear what his objective was. And whether ordered by Thanos or not, you didn’t really want to know— nor figure out.
Yet for some reason you were practically glued to the spot, blinking up at him and waiting oh, so patiently for his next spiel. And as you watched his face turn back to you, your breath got caught in your throat.
“Okay then.. worry all you want, but you wouldn’t you want someone to look out for you?” Nam-Gyu’s other hand was reaching to your patch at this point, using both thumbs to trace it. “Being on this side, there’s no unity.. it’s every person for themself.”
The two of you locked eyes, a sickeningly sweet smile crossing his face.
“Come with us, and we’ll look after you. I’ll personally see to it too.”
Slowly did your teeth sink into your bottom lip, struggling to maintain the eye contact that he seemed so keen on keeping. The only thing you could hear was your racing heart and the gentle sounds of his thumbs sliding across that red patch. His words were.. tempting. You wondered if he rehearsed what to say, like a video game with multiple endings; did he have it all figured out before he even walked over? Was he so prepared to convert you, using every rejection you had as some silly obstacles the man easily hobbled over?
So caught up in your thoughts, you hardly realized Nam-Gyu had gotten even closer until his breath fanned across your ear in a simple;
I’ll let you think it over, let’s talk again later..
When you thought of later, you initially believed in thirty mins or so. Maybe this time he would bring over his beloved leader to really get the point across. But no, later seemed to be during lights out; when you all should be sleeping, tucked away in the rare bliss these murderous games brought.
And the only talking that was happening was the soft words Nam-Gyu continued to whisper into your ear and the even softer moans of passion that slipped from your swollen lips.
See, Nam-Gyu wasn’t an idiot despite what Thanos seems to think. Quickly he caught on to two things whilst speaking to you.
The first being, you were quite cute when nervous. And two, you just loved looking at his hands.
So what better way to really stretch his point across but using his beloved fingers to stretch you open just how he liked?
“Should have done this from the start, look how cooperative you’re being..” The smile on Nam-Gyu’s face was permanent at this point, the corner of his mouth twitching with each pitiful moan you released. His rings were tossed lazily to the side, his bare fingers now pushing into your sloppy cunt so perfectly. Longer then your own, they pushed and prodded; opening you up and rubbing against your soaked walls. With each breath you were clenching, causing the smile on his face to only grow deeper.
“Scared of dying but not of some stranger finger-fucking you, huh? What a joke.”
You wanted to tell him off, how he was so mean and so wrong. But you couldn’t, not with how your mind was getting complete lost from his movements. Your teeth were grinding into your bottom lip, a metallic taste filling your mouth as time progressed. Deep moans thundered from your throat, muffled by your harsh biting. You couldn’t imagine having your little recruitment interrupted by some poor contestant just trying to get some rest.
But with the way Nam-Gyu was practically ruining you, it didn’t seem he cared much either way. He was so hellbent on coaxing you, his lips right against your ear as that damned thumb came and circled your swollen bud.
“I told you I’d look after you right, where’s my thank you?”
Your eyes widened the moment his free hand rose, pushing at your cheeks and basically forcing your lips to part. The sound you let out was a strangled mix of a moan and gasp, quickly clasping your own hand against your mouth.
Nam-Gyu chuckled on his breath, thrusting a third finger into your wet cunt as he spoke; “What? You scared of the other contestants realizing how much of a slut you are? Shouldn’t worry too much; this messy cunt is making enough noise for you.”
Your eyes were meeting the back of your skull, so fucking mean he was— yet you couldn’t help but enjoy the attention. His digits were curling inside, brushing across that special spot that caused you to shake. Your thighs were clenching harshly around his arm, rushed breaths escaping as your chest rose and fell.
“Th—thank you.. fuck— please…!” You whimpered as softly as you possibly could, glossy eyes staring up at the man. You felt accomplished the moment he drew closer, feeling the cold metal of his chain brush against your heated skin before a gentle kiss was pressed right against your cheek.
“What a good girl.. You wanna come, hm?” The hand was lowering to your throat, fingers simply wrapping around it yet not squeezing. Nam-Gyu watched in pure enjoyment at the way your head tossed back and forth in a rushed nod; how needy you were for him. What a palpable little thing, is what he thought.
“I can make that happen, you just gotta do something for me.”
More words, whispered, tempting; drifting right into your ear and hitting the same pleasurable spots right between your legs. Speaking of, you felt your peak drawing closer; a tight band resting deep in your tummy— ready to burst.
You knew what he wanted, you weren’t an idiot nor were you too fucked out to forget. Your mind was screaming at you, telling you an orgasm wasn’t worth pressing that cursed button.
Yet, for now, you weren’t thinking with your brain, but with your pussy instead.
“P—please let me join! I’ll press the button— I promise!” Another whisper-yell escaped you, desperation clinging to every word as they fled those pretty lips.
With that final confirmation Nam-Gyu was quickening the pace of his fingers, eating up the way your body convulsed, a lost look invading your eyes as you came undone. Your essence trickled down his fingers all the way to his wrist, a sticky residue that he would make sure you clean up later.
For now.. his hand rose from your throat to instead cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb right under your eye so tenderly— so sweetly.
“I knew you could do it.. just needed some encouragement, right?”
#black fanfic writer#chubby reader#black fanfiction#black tumblr#black!reader#poc writer#black reader#nam gyu squid game smut#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu x reader smut#nam gyu squid game#nam gyu#nam gyu x black reader#nam gyu x black reader smut#squid game x reader#squid game x black reader#squid game x reader smut#squid game x black reader smut#nam-gyu#nam-gyu x black reader#nam-gyu x reader#nam-gyu x reader smut#nam-gyu x black reader smut#nam-gyu squid game
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Hotline to Heaven | Joel Miller x reader
✧ Summary: An inquisitive man gets more than what he's used to when he pushes the wrong number on a phone sex hotline.
✧ Content Warnings: MDNI ! 18+ only. dom!reader, sub!joel, pre outbreak, empty house means he's up to no good, porn connoisseur, phone sex, dirty talk ( i mean duh) mutual masturbation, swearing, orgasm denial, safeword mentioned but not used, talking him through it this time, a little aftercare, slight mention of one of my favorite movies bc I know Joel would've liked it too.
✧ Authors Note: This is my submission for @wannab-urs DMAMC 2025 that you can find the masterlist here. A goal of mine this year is to step out of my writing bubble when it comes to challenges and write things I normally wouldn't on my own. If you read my work, you know this is a roles reversed situation for me and I'm nervous to share it but also excited! Thank you, Gin, for letting me be a part of this, I love you <3 As always big ups to my twin for beta reading for me, love you, Ali.
red line divider | cover and matching dividers made by (Ali) & I |
✧ WC: 2.4K | masterlist | requests | update blog | ✧
Being a single dad was not an easy job, but Joel made it work somehow. With lots and lots of pancakes and promised sleepovers at friends houses if Sarah kept her grades up.
Another Friday night at home alone while Sarah was in the next town over, probably hopped up on soda and candy, Joel digs out his laptop from the bag on the floor and sets it up on the cherrywood coffee table. The house was quiet for the most part, the low humming of the dryer down the hallway in the laundry room.
Booting up the old computer, Joel tilts his head back on the sofa and makes sure his brown curtains are closed along with the white blinds he just put up a few weeks ago. Joel's finger moves against the worn trackpad, opening up the DVD rom to pop in the movie he rented from blockbuster on his drive home from dropping off Sarah.
Joel reads the cover while it loads to open. His favorite actress being the main character got him all excited and may have been the only reason he rented it to begin with. It definitely wasn’t because she was playing a vampire in a latex bodysuit.
About halfway through the movie and many scenes later of this character being an absolute badass, Joel could feel the growing tension in his jeans. Wanting to take care of the problem to finish the movie he'd grown invested in, he pauses it and opens up a web browser and goes to his tried and true adult website. The amount of pop up ads always annoyed him, he just wanted to find something to watch and keep it moving.
Until tonight.
A banner flashes right above the search bar filled with his previous endeavors, the colors immediately catching his eyes.
“What the hell is this?” He mutters to himself as he watches the words change.
A number pops up with tiny images of girls in the corner of the banner. Feeling adventurous, he digs out his phone from his pocket and dials the number before it changes to a new ad.
He’s met with an automated message, overly seductive and giving him the rundown of what he’s getting himself into. His finger hovers over the pound button to confirm he was consenting to this, that he was willing to continue. The line beeps a few times before a new message starts to play.
”Press one if you want to meet me, the girl next door.”
The voice changes to a new girl, “press two if you want to fix my leaky pipes.”
Another different voice, “press three if you want to punish me for not turning in my college essay.”
”Press four to meet me and my best friend, Layla.”
”Hit five if you wanna romp in the hay with me, yeehaw!”
Joel snickers at the generic attempt at a southern accent.
“Call me into your office by pressing six!”
Joel could hardly contain himself at all the options he was given, and he had three more he’d yet to hear.
“Select seven to meet me, Vixen the d-“
Before the voice finished speaking, his finger pushed a button and he wasn’t sure which one he chose. Frankly, he was excited for any of them.
Your line was ringing and it wasn’t too often it did, no one usually got past Katie and Layla.
Picking up the phone, you smile when you hear the southern drawl in his words.
“Have you been a bad boy today?” You almost whisper into the phone before he responds.
“Y-yes, I have, darlin.” His tone was a little confused, unsure of what he just answered.
You grin and sit up straighter.
“Well, good thing I’m in the mood to punish you.”
Joel’s eyes widen and he doesn’t know what to say. This wasn’t the number he meant to push. He wasn’t really the type of man to want to be told what to do.
From anyone.
“Darlin’ can you tell me which button I pushed by chance?”
He was trying to be as polite as he could and you were going to have some fun with this.
“You pushed seven and here I am; Vixen the Dom.” Smirking at the quiet line, you wonder for a split second if he hung up.
“I-I’m sorry…dom? I don’t know if this is really something I’m into. I mean, that’s great if you’re someone who can but that doesn’t sound like me.”
“I get it. You can’t let go of that control, scared to see a new side to yourself. I understand. If you want to hang up and redial I understand.”
Joel hesitates hanging up and he glides his tongue over his bottom lip.
“What exactly…would I be getting myself into with you, Vixen?”
What a curious man.
“You’d give me control, no backtalk, no resisting, you submit to me. There’s a safeword we can use at any point if it gets to be too much for you. At that point I’d stop and we can calm down, just talk. I never get mad at someone using a safe word.”
“A-and what’s the safe word?” The temptation in his voice shows you he’s interested.
“Hopscotch.”
His chuckle rings through your ear and makes your face warm, giggling at his reaction.
“So, you’ve stayed here this long and I can tell you’re curious. Are you going to let me take control of you, I didn’t get your name” You state, trying to guess before he answers.
“Joel. Names Joel. It’s a pleasure to spend the night with you tonight, Vixen.”
The respect he was giving already showed you how natural it came to him, he was this way in his day to day life.
“You’re going to be my good boy tonight, Joel?”
“Y-yes” he hesitantly responds.
“Yes, ma’am. Repeat it.” Goosebumps raise on your arms and the excitement shakes your core
“Yes ma’am.”
“I’m going to tell you what to think, what to say, I’m going to do everything I want to you until you’re begging me to let you come.” You bite your lip and smirk, your body excited for this phone call.
“I want you to close your eyes and I want you to grab your bulge and rub it, slowly for me,” You say sternly but seductively, propping your legs up so your knees are bent, freehand resting on your abdomen.
You can hear his belt jingle and some shuffling from the other end of the phone, causing you to smirk. He doesn’t get it, it’s new for him. It was painfully obvious but you decided to take it slow for his first time.
“I didn’t say to undo your belt and ditch your pants, did I? I said rub your bulge, just rub it.”
“Y-yes ma’am.” His breath was shaky from anticipation and nerves, it was cute. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into with you.
“Tell me how good it feels, baby. Tell me what you want,” you tease, your fingers dancing above your panty line.
“I wish you were here right now. Tell me to lay on my back while you get on top and ride my face until I'm begging for air. I want you to use me until you come all over my face and make me clean you up before you ride my big dick. Use me, Ms. Vixen, p-please.” Joel’s whimpers make you feel that boiling heat in your stomach before you feel your panties get wet, for a half second he takes your breath away.
“Ms.Vixen? Hm, you’re learning quickly I see. Reach in your pants and take your cock out for me, get it nice and wet. I want to hear how needy you are for me.”
You hear his belt unbuckle followed by the soft sound of him spitting into his hand, married with a groan of pleasure.
“Now, you want to be my good boy tonight, right?” You ask and dip your hand inside your panties, softly teasing yourself. This was so unlike you, normally you didn’t want to touch yourself during a call. He was different.
”You aren’t going to come until I tell you, alright? Think you can handle that, baby?”
“I can handle that, yes ma’am.”
Hearing the wet sounds from him jerking his cock off makes you grin and a moan almost slips out but you catch yourself and give a small giggle.
”It’s cute the way you fuck your hand and pretend its my pussy, big grown man just aching to be put in his place. I want to watch your face when I slip your cock inside me, baby. I’ll keep a fistful of your hair so you keep your eyes on me, let me watch you go to another planet when you realize how deep you are.”
Joel moans loudly and he can’t catch his breath as he imagines how good it would feel inside you and to be used by you.
“Y-yes please, Vixen. Ride my cock and make yourself feel good, I can be whatever you want me to be.”
You circle your clit faster as your legs tremble, your moans swirling together to sound like a beautiful harmony.
“I can ride you and wrap my hand around your throat while I put my panties in your mouth to keep you quiet, wouldn’t want anyone to hear those pretty whimpers, now would we?”
“Can-can you tell me what your panties look like, darlin’? Please.” Joel stutters out and moans just thinking about it.
Biting your lip, you hold the handset closer to your mouth as you continue fingering your soaked cunt with your other hand.
“They’re lace, black of course. With a little red bow right in front of the waistband. Sick little pervert you are. Makes my pussy so wet thinking about you trying to moan my name but I can’t understand you with them in your mouth. Even when you’re begging for more, begging to come I can’t hear you.”
Joel groans louder and all you can see in your head as your eyes are squeezed shut is how handsome he sounds Just the pretty whimpers he makes has you thinking how good looking he must be, how his dick is so slippery in his fist from all the precum and spit.
“I bet you’d lose your mind if I pinned your hands down and really took all control from you, wouldn’t you baby? You’d squirm and try to touch me but you can’t, not while I’m playing with you like a toy. You’re my toy, do you hear me? Mine. Say you’re mine while you jerk off.” Your breaths get shorter as you moan softly, finally letting him hear how turned on you are.
“I’m just your playtoy, Ms.Vixen. Onl-ly yours. I p-promise. Fuck it feels so good, shit.”
The silk sheets under your skin slide under you as you squirm, giving into him a little more with each beg he cries out. This feels like heaven and you can’t get enough of him. Part of you wanted to stop touching yourself to keep him on the phone longer, partially because you didn’t know if he’d ever call again.
“Let go of your pretty cock. Don’t touch it and listen to me.” You demand calmly and smirk when you hear him groan in annoyance.
“Is that an attitude I hear?” you ask condescendingly.
“No ma’am, no ma’am.” he quickly retorts. Good boy.
“I’ve got two fingers inside me right now but they just don’t compare to your cock I bet. You’d probably keep me up all night and let me turn you every which way but loose, hm? Think you could keep up with me, sweetheart? How about I cuff your hands to the bed and suck your cock until you can’t take it anymore and beg to paint my face with your cum.”
You can hear a slew of profanities and Joel groans almost in pain and he whines, “God dammit that’s so hot. Please let me jerk off, baby. It’s killing me not to touch myself while I think about stuffing you full of my dick. Your perfect body on mine, what a pleasure that would be. Please, may I touch myself?”
Clamping your legs closed so you don’t come yourself, you tell him to continue and soon once more your moans mix together.
“I-I need to come, Ms.Vixen. Please let me be a goodboy and come, p-please-oh fuckkk-”
“You want to come for me, baby boy? I’m going to have to think about whether you deserve it or not, sweetheart.”
“Let me show you how good you make me feel, I need you so bad. C’mon baby-oh shittt- please?”
Your breath hitches in your throat and you have this aching urge to hear him come and whimper in your ear. Hearing men be so whiny when they come was music to your ears.
“Go on then, show me the pretty sounds you make when you come, baby. Jerk that fuckin’ cock off while you think about me. Think about coming on my tits, these pretty fucking titties that would look even better with your cock between them. C’mon honey, come for me, right now. Be my favorite toy.”
That was all he needed to hear before he was groaning loudly into the phone, enough to make you cover your mouth and come with him. Couldn’t let him know how down bad he already had you.
Your ears were ringing slightly but you could still hear the shuffling from his end, probably cleaning himself up and the mess he made.
“You alright over there, big guy?” You ask, trying to calm your breathing.
“It was a lot, let’s just say I made a mess” he chuckles and sighs tiredly.
“How was that for your first time being a sub? I tried to take it slow for you.”
“That was uh, that was the best time I’ve had in a while. You really know what you’re doing, huh? I’d love to call you again, maybe your direct line next time?”
You shake your head and chuckle at him. Silly boy.
“I had a fun time tonight, Joel. Maybe if you call me again I’ll think about giving you my phone number.”
“Fair enough. Thank you, Vixen. It was a pleasure. Good night.”
“Good night, my good boy.”
The line goes silent and Joel puts his cellphone down on the couch cushion beside him, taking a deep breath as he circles back over everything he just did. Closing out of the tab and continuing his movie, he enjoyed it but Joel couldn’t stop thinking about you the rest of the night.
Even when he was in his bed trying to sleep, you consumed his brain and he needed more.
A lot more, but of course, only if you let him.
#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller x you#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#tw smut#sub!joel#dom!reader#dmamc 2025#joel miller tlou#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#the last of us hbo#tlou joel#tlou hbo#joel tlou#pre outbreak!joel#*#my writing
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THE COMMISSION PT. 3 | SEVIKA X READER | ARCANE
You can find part one here. Part two here.
Synopsis: You've been her personal mechanic for two years, but your growing reputation in the field has earned you dozens of clients and commissions. Sevika was looking for something fresh, durable and of good quality, and when it came to her sexual appetite, she only accepted the best. So she turned to you for a special commission.
Contains: arcane!sevika, feminine reader, lesbians, lots of dialogues, arcane universe, cannon sevika, mechanic!reader, wlw, slow burn baby 💋, several parts btw
Word count: 4,345
Note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake in my writing. Enjoy!
After that episode, Sevika stopped your supply of Shimmer and threatened any dealers that she would rip out their tongues and eyes if they dared to sell you, so the following week you found yourself in enforced sobriety.
You were adding the finishing touches to the strap, Sevika wanted it to be comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, so that was what you did. The straps were made of fine leather, secured with adjustable snaps. However, it was the long, veiny phallus that was the star of the piece, provided with texture and a purple color, quite similar to Shimmer. On the back, there was a small compartment with the dose of Shimmer, interconnected with the rest of the piece and the wearer, making the strap a dynamic, vibrant piece and certainly better than any other made of plastic or silicone. This one was “alive” so to speak, and designed so that the thrusts would release small bursts of Shimmer into the wearer’s bloodstream, causing as much pleasure as the one receiving it. One of your best pieces, you put a lot of pride into it and it cost you two sleepless nights and delaying other orders to give this one your full attention.
You made your way through the crowd. For a couple of weeks now, The Last Drop has been more crowded, the good sales of shimmer and the economic bonanza it brought made people look for a place to dance, drink more and bet their money in games that Sevika usually won.
Sevika.
You saw her at the back of the club, just like a few weeks ago when you went to her to check her arm and receive the commission you now had ready and kept in a box. She was focused on her cards, a cigarette between her lips and a couple of opponents with pursed lips sitting before her.
"Am I bothering?" you asked once you approached.
"Silco isn't taking guests." she muttered, without taking her eyes off the cards.
"I'm not here to see Silco." you said with a smirk before Sevika realized it was you.
She looked you up and down, taking in your appearance. You looked… good. Rested, healthy, and more beautiful than ever. It was a striking difference from the last time she had seen you, and it made her feel more confident than ever about her decision to take away your Shimmer supply.
"Well, hello yourself." she said, raising a brow. "What do I owe the pleasure?"
"Merry early Christmas." you teased, placing the box on the table. "Commission done."
She smiled, taking one last glance at her cards before folding and placing them face down. Her opponents grumbled as they laid down their own and counted up their chips, which Sevika quickly started sliding towards her. She picked up the box, feeling the weight of it in her hands. "Finally. Took you long enough."
"Quality takes time." you smirked, leaning to take a sip of Sevika's glass. The woman lifted the lid to peek inside, knowing she had to take a better look of the product in private.
"Continue without me, boys." Sevika said, quitting the game in order to stand up and head to her office with you.
The other players grumbled in annoyance as Sevika stood up, but their protests died out as Sevika glowered at them.
"If I come back and see you've touched my chips, I'll make sure you lose a few fingers." Sevika warned, her voice dripping with malice.
They entered a dimly lit office, the smell of wood and tobacco welcoming you as soon as you set foot inside. There was a coffee table in the center, on it a bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses, in front of it a vermilion sofa darkened by age and the ashes of hundreds of cigarettes. The office was undeniably Sevika's, she was a sober woman and the room showed it, however you always liked the small jar painted in gold and blue paint, which used to keep mint candies for the breath. The truth is that you tended to eat them yourself and force Sevika to buy more.
"How is Silas?" you asked as you entered, following Sevika. "Did his dick fall off?"
"No, but it's probably the only thing still functional about him." She replied, shutting the door behind her.
She walked over to the coffee table, dropping the box on it before turning her attention to the bottle of whiskey. She poured two glasses before passing one to you.
"Here." She said. "You look like you could use a drink."
"Indeed." you agreed, taking the glass between your fingers. "Booze seems an alternative, since someone put me on forced sobriety."
“Yeah, I’m not sorry about that.” She muttered, taking a sip of her drink. “You were out of control.”
She walked over to the sofa, taking a seat and gesturing for you to do the same. “Now, though,” she said, her voice a hint softer, “you do look better, I have to admit.”
"I look tired." you grumbled. "You know how hard is to work sober? I can't barely make the half of orders I used to finish in a day."
"You look gorgeous when you're tired." She observed, her voice low and full of innuendo. She took another sip from her drink, leaning back into the sofa. "And as for your orders, I don't care if you have to hire a damn army to finish them. You're not touching Shimmer again until I say so."
Sevika changed the subject so quickly that you couldn't comment on her casual compliment. Her eyes didn't betray the way she looked at you, nor the thoughts that had been running through her mind since she asked you for such a commission. She was sweet on you but her demeanor masked it well. "The workshop's rent is getting higher by the month." you said then. "I cannot afford working any less."
"I'll cover the rent," she offered, her voice gruff. "You just focus on your work."
The speed with which she resolved the issue struck you as comical, Sevika seemed convinced enough of the quality of your work to become your financier. You huffed. "Are you into charity now?"
"Charity? Hardly." She replied, her voice dry. "I prefer to think of it as an investment. You're an investment."
She paused to look at you, the way you traced the rim of the glass with your finger, your exposed shoulders, the softness of your neck, your cheekbones visibly more flushed with sobriety. She let out a sigh. "Besides, you owe me."
"Owe you?" you asked.
She couldn't contain a smirk. "For one," she started. "You're sitting in my office, drinking my booze, and you've still yet to even show me the commission I asked for. That's one reason."
She leaned forward, her gaze steady on you. "Two, you've been sleeping and eating in my club for weeks now. You think those things come free?"
Funny. Nothing's free when it comes to Sevika. She believed in the power of trades, of taking advantage of people’s qualities in an honest and effective way. You couldn’t deny that you’d turned to Sevika more times than you’d care to admit, whether it was to get another dose of Shimmer, sleep somewhere other than the workshop, and even sneak into her office and eat her snacks while she was minding her business at the brothel. Not to mention that she was now offering to pay your rent. You owed Sevika, whether you liked it or not. Your silence was your answer.
She leaned back into the sofa again, her expression smug. "That's what I thought." She muttered, taking another sip from her drink. "You're in my debt, dollface. And sooner or later, I'm going to collect."
She put the glass down, her eyes flickering to the box. "Now, are you gonna show me my commission?"
You sat up on the couch and nodded, Sevika's words not to be ignored. "Sure." you said, leaning over to carefully open the cherry-colored box you had brought for her. You lifted the lid and carefully placed the product on the table, unwrapping it.
Sevika couldn't help the way her eyebrow rose, her eyes studying the piece intently before a grin played on her dark lips. What a piece. "Damn." She muttered, her voice low with appreciation. Her hand hovered over the item, the tips of her fingers carefully tracing the leather straps, the velvety texture of the phallus.
"Is the color alright?"
Sevika took the strap, running her fingers over the texture and feel of its components, her eyes taking in the small Shimmer compartment in the back, the neatness of the finishes, even the light, comfortable weight. "Yeah. This is... better than I imagined." She admitted, her eyes flickering to you.
"Just make sure to not overdo it." you warned her, watching the woman testing the weight, the lightness of the piece and the exceptional quality of the materials. She seemed pleased, even though her face was inaccessible when it came to expressions. "It releases small doses of Shimmer, make sure to not wear it for too long."
"Oh, I'll definitely be testing the limits of this thing." She replied, her voice thick with innuendo. "I know when to stop."
"Just don't overdose." you mumbled, leaning back on the couch as Sevika stored the strap back into the box.
"I'm a big girl. I know how to handle myself." she insisted, taking a sip of the glass as her mind began going to places. The potential was massive.
You let out a sigh, you were sober and tired, the smell of the workshop clinging to your overalls and your hands still stained with oil and ink, which seemed to acquire the status of tattoos since they didn't seem to come off with any washing. You finished the glass, Sevika got up to search through her desk for the second half of your pay. She came back, holding out the the pouch. "Here." She said. "All yours."
You accepted the money willingly, thinking you would spend it on something stupid right away. You weren't good with finances, it's an understatement to say that if Sevika didn't manage your expenses regarding materials, machinery and labor, your business would go to hell overnight. She was always behind, watching over you and your lack of common sense when you had a bag full of coins. "I'll make sure to use them wisely."
"Oh, that's what you always say." She teased in return, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "And then what do you do instead? Gamble it all away at the fight pits, I suppose?" She knew better than to trust you with money. You'd always been as reliable as a leaky ship, especially when you were hopped up on Shimmer.
"I make good bets." you replied. "But the fighters are getting lame lately."
She crossed her arms across her chest, her expression mocking. "You always pick the ones who look good but have no chance of winning. You always bet on the long shots, and you always lose."
You laughed, because you did tend to bet on the best looking boxer rather than the most skilled. You were a simple girl, you liked to drink in the sweaty bodies of the fighters in the Pit, men or women, releasing adrenaline charges with every punch, spitting and gasping. You found pleasure in premeditated violence, in the cheers and the boos, in the heat of a crowd committed to the spectacle. And perhaps it was because of that bad habit of yours that you bet on Vi last week, and Sevika didn’t take it well.
She huffed, her voice terse. "You picked Vi because she was hot, didn't you?"
"I picked her cause you despise her."
"Damn right, I do." She muttered through gritted teeth. "And you should too. Do you have any idea how many of my thugs she's beat up? Or the crap she caused Silco when she was in Piltover? That woman's always been a pain in my ass."
"You have a thing for problematic women." you shrugged, leaning to pour yourself more whiskey. "The difference is that some you hate, others you keep close."
Sevika rolled her eyes, craving a cigarette to deal with your tongue and insolent smile. "Causes involve problems." she said.
"And you seem to love both." you said.
"Oh, great." She muttered. "Another smartass back talker in my life... Just what I needed."
"Who's the other?"
"Jinx."
Her sigh said it all, Sevika was tired and her patience threatened to falter. Silco was her leader, she championed the cause, Zaun, yet Jinx figured as the constant component ruining her formula. You can't be a good soldier with a leader who is unable to see the flaws of his daughter, or at least, how he sees Jinx. "Sounds like you need to get something off your chest." you said.
She huffed. "I could write an encyclopaedia about everything wrong with that girl." She paused for a moment, her expression hardening once again. "She's Silco's blind spot. He can't see her for what she really is because he's too damn soft on her. And it's getting to the point where we can't cover for her anymore."
"He loves her." you said. "We all act like fools when it comes to love."
"What a joke. He's blinded by his affection for her. He's been babying her for years, giving her everything she wants and then some. And look where it's gotten us? The entire damn city is on the brink of a war because of her, because Silco can't bring himself to step away from his goddamn daughter and see her for what she really is."
Hell, she was mad. You put the glass on the coffee table, watching Sevika retrieve a cigarette from the pack in her pocket. Before she noticed, you were before her, lighting up with your zippo. "Jinx is a part of the game, want it or not. And it's up to you if you wanna keep up with Silco's whims or give up."
Her grey eyes locked on yours, releasing the smoke to the side.
"I'm loyal to Silco. I always have been, and I always will be. I believe in his cause, in his vision for Zaun." She stated. There was not a single hint of doubt on her words; when Sevika commits with a cause, she carries it to the end, no matter what.
That's what you admired of her.
"Then..." you said, grinning. "You need to let off some steam." your eyes flickering to the box on the coffee table.
Sevika thought you were joking. "You suggest I should take a stroll to the brothel while you stay here alone, a room away from the Shimmer reserves Silco keeps here?"
"I'll behave." you insisted.
"You better." She warned. "I don't know how Silco would feel if he came back to his supplies all gone because you had a goddamn party in his absence."
You smiled. "If I wanted to get high, I'd do it with my own money and merit, trust me." you stepped back, walking over to the couch. "It's up to you, Sev. But if I were you, I would go and try my new toy right away."
Sevika rolled her eyes.
"Dammit," she growled. "I can't believe I'm seriously considering this..."
Seeing you settle down on the couch, half drunk from the whiskey, Sevika actually considered taking a stroll around the brothel. She needed to release a pressure that only increased every time you were in front of her, with your stupid jokes and your arms and chest exposed, with your playful eyes and your insolent smile. You were a limit she forced herself to not cross. The woman grunted, picking up the red cape from the coat rack and putting it on.
"Take a bath while I'm gone, you smell like a workshop." she muttered, taking the box from the table
"Excuse me?" you protested, your expression one of mock-offence. "I smell just fine."
Sevika huffed a laugh at your protest, her eyes flickering over your figure. She had to admit she kind of enjoyed the way you smelt. A subtle yet intense medley of oil, grease and sweat - it was almost seductive.
"Don't pretend like I don't know the last time you took a bath was three days ago." She shot back, her voice full of sarcasm. "You smell like you live at a damn workshop."
Now you were offended. "I do live in a damn workshop."
"Don't make it obvious, then." she said, walking over the door. "I ain't paying your rent for you to smell like that. Bath." she added, leaving the room as she didn't just called you dirty.
At the slam of the door, you couldn't help but bury your nose in your armpit, letting out a groan. "Bath, yeah right," you muttered, getting up to grab one of Sevika's treats. "Next time I'll put less oil on that arm of hers…"
Sevika left the office with heavy steps, riled up by your entire presence. She was playing a dangerous game but she didn't intend to lose, not when you had become her most precious jewel but also the hardest to obtain. She wanted to possess you, in more ways than one, but she knew your limits and your whims, getting involved with you would not only be risky but directly novice to her plans. Letting you slip into her her will would only destroy the mettle she took years to build. She had to control herself.
Several glances fell upon Sevika as she entered The House of Pleasure, she hadn't been seen around these parts for weeks, and more than one of the ladies-in-waiting approached her doors hoping to be chosen by her. She was a client who paid well and made love well, there were no cons on her visits. "With Robin." the woman murmured to the owner, before being led to the largest room in the brothel.
Robin was waiting for her on the couch, wrapped in an olive-colored robe, playing with her black locks and looking as willing as ever. Sevika liked her, she had freckles and fleshy curves, she knew how to combat her bad mood.
"Sevika," the woman purred, standing up. "Long time no see. I missed you around here"
"Missing my attention or my money?" she huffed.
"Money lost importance a long time ago." she smiled, standing on her tiptoes to place a kiss on her client’s cheek before carefully removing her cape, revealing her mechanic arm. Sevika liked to be welcomed with a cigarette and Robin’s sweet perfume, to sit on the couch, manspreading, inhaling the smoke with her on her lap, giving her kisses on her neck and jaw.
However, Sevika saw you standing by the curtain, like an insistent ghost, reminding her that the woman on top her was not you. "What's in the box?" asked Robin then, leaving a kiss on the corner of Sevika's lips, her eyes flckering to the box sitting on the coffee table.
"A new toy." She muttered, her voice gruff.
Robin smiled. "You'd like us to try it?" she asked.
Sevika stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray that rested to her right, cupping the back of Robin's neck to begin a kiss that she hoped would erase you from her mind for a while. "Yeah." she said, against her lips, her hand gripping firmly the hooker's butt.
Sevika knew she was being foolish, that she was using Robin as a replacement for you, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The woman's moans, the feel of her body in her lap, it was all so familiar yet so different. She broke the kiss, her breathing ragged as she looked up at Robin with darkened eyes. "Get the toy.
Robin was helpful and elegant, she knew how to deliver an erotic show on each visit and please Sevika. She had already become accustomed to the rhythm and endurance of her client, her firm hands, her obscene kisses and subtle and not so subtle bites. The hooker opened the box, her smile was not faked when she saw the quality of the piece.
"Robe off, doll." said Sevika, her legs spreading with a latent confidence. Robin approached, an arm around her waist as Sevika pulled her closer. "You'll keep up with me, don't you?"
"Always..." whispered Robin, as Sevika watched the woman undress before her, trying to ignore the picture of your smile on the back of her mind.
Third round, Sevika seemed to hate you more and more as she discovered that the piece you had made for her was sensational.
Each thrust released a small charge of Shimmer, taking Sevika on a roller coaster of sensations, a constant upward slope that did nothing but shake her nerve fibers from head to toe. She had Robin on her stomach on the bed, hips and ass up, one hand firmly in her hair, another on her hip, as she thrusted into her relentlesslty, growling against the back of her neck in an obscene and not at all concealable symphony; the entire brothel knew that Sevika was back.
She had you to thank for this, you and your damn ingenuity. She would never admit it aloud, but gods how she hated you for this. For making her feel something, for making her lose control.
She knew she wouldn't survive another round as she leaned down, her breath ragged and hot in Robin's ear. "I might have... to take you home sometime."
"I'll go anywhere, as long as you fuck me this good." Robin purred, her body melting as Sevika leaned down to place kisses and bites on her shoulder. Sevika refused to open her eyes, she wanted to imagine you beneath her, your smell, your moans, your legs shaking with pleasure and begging for more. She held the woman's neck between her fingers, pressing her hips hard as a tickling sensation settled in her lower belly. Fuck, this was so good.
She felt herself melting, her veins burning, her heart pounding. Robin could see the purple glow in her client's eyes, they had grown deeper throughout rounds, and certainly her strength too. "I want you... so bad." She breathed, her voice gruff and breathless as she began speaking out her thoughts. "But I can't... fucking have."
"Shit... I-'m... cumming." whined Robin, which Sevika straightened up and pulled Robin's back against her chest, choking her harder with every deep, nerve-shaking thrust.
"Shut up," Sevika snapped, her voice guttural and her eyes still tightly shut. She didn't want to hear anyone's name but yours, any voice but yours. She wanted you beneath her, begging and pleading for more.
Sevika growled, her forehead suddenly resting against Robin's back, a firm hand between her legs, rubbing her clit as her brain corrected her moans and made them yours.
Gosh, she almost could smell the goddamn oil and ink.
The Shimmer was beginning to take over her wits, her veins heating up, her breath coming out in loud gasps as a second orgasm began to take over her. And Robin wouldn't shut her mouth, goddamn it!
"Shut. The fuck. Up." Sevika growled, covering Robin's mouth with her flesh hand. The woman whined against her palm, panting at the same time Sevika moaned into her neck, enjoying an unprecedented orgasm. "Fuck...! Take it well and nicely." she whispered against Robin's ear.
Robin fell back onto the mattress, her body marked by dozens of bites, a hand on her buttock, a hickey on her neck. Sevika was the only client who could afford to mark her girls, and Robin accepted it willingly. But today she had gone too far.
Sevika let out a pant, sitting up in bed, dizzy and shaky, as if she had run across all of Zaun. Her flesh hand trembled, she was a round away from overdose, she knew it. She took the strap off and tossed it somewhere in the room before searching for a cigarette on the nightstand. Just the bitter taste of the smoke managed to calm her down and return her from that portal she refused to cross.
"Something's up with you." mumbled Robin, barely catching her breath as she reached out to wet her throat with a glass of water.
Sevika sat on the couch, her cinnamon skin lightly beaded with sweat. Her entire body was still alert, sensitive and active, from her erect nipples to the thickened veins on her arm. The Shimmer was not quick to digest. "Nothing's up." she mumbled.
Robin propped on her elbow, reading Sevika's expression. She knew that one, has seen it on other clients, but it was the first time she saw it on Sevika's face; the expression of frustrated passion. "There is someone, isn't there?"
Sevika dragged on the cigarette, her eyes darting around the room before landing on the strap. Damn you. "Yeah, there's someone."
Robin's eyes softened. "Who...?" she asked softly.
"It doesn't matter," she muttered quietly, avoiding eye contact. "She's...off-limits."
As Robin was about to ask for details, there was a knock at the door. The hooker put on her robe, taking heavy steps towards the door after having dealt with Sevika's stamina for two hours. Sevika let out a cloud of smoke, pulling her head back as she thought about you, and a bitter sensation pooled on her stomach.
I'm wasting my damn time.
When Sevika had already put on her boxers, Robin turned to look at her, her expression suggesting urgency. She frowned. "What is it?"
"It's a message from the Last Drop," Robin said. "A girl overdosed in your office."
Suddenly the Shimmer effect seemed to be heightened, but it was actually raw, pure adrenaline.
No.
Sevika jumped off the couch, looking for her clothes as Robin stood there. "Sev?" she asked worried.
"Get me my damn cape," she said. "I gotta go."
To be continued...
taglist: @lez-zuha @amoraeu @nikaachuuuu @furrytaesss @elliecoochieeater @n-noctiss @emmanetalias @sevikashairbrush @lipglosskxsses @chaosfieldflower @kairuvhen @moodient @izzy120 @bonemarrowstew @abbysunderwear @batman-2 @karmalovessimonriley @fandomsinthegalaxies @fudosl @femme-historian @poprostuhybryda-blog @kifuqe @xblinkx2 @tamikahoshiko @lia-winther @https-mika
#arcane#arcane fanfic#league of legends#arcane s2#arcane sevika#arcane smut#sevika arcane#sevika x y/n#sevika#sevika x reader#sevika my love#sevika smut#sevika x female reader#sevika x you#sevika fanfic#slow burn baby#PURE DRAMA
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Dissonance (Part 2) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)
Part 1, Part 2
Genre/Tags: coworker!JK, enemies to lovers, smutttttt, slow burn (ish?), ANGST
Word Count: 6799 words
Synopsis:
After being left alone and humiliated on the floor of a dirty bar bathroom by Jungkook, you had to pick yourself up off the ground (literally). You had to get even, embarrass him like he'd done to you. Maybe you were mean to him before, but you were about to become a nightmare to humble this man. Unfortunately for you, your anger was short sighted, while Jungkook's wasn't. So you never predicted how your plans might backfire on you...
Note:
it's finally fucking here omg. ik it's super late but i'm finally decently satisfied with this. i'm looking forward to writing part 3 bc that's where the tension finally breaks and y'all aren't even ready for the revenge y/n gets lol. i hope y'all enjoy this and it lives up to part 1! i'd love to know your thoughts, if you're still pissed with jk lol, and any suggestions or requests are always welcome! chatting with you guys is my fav part <3
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Dread consumed your senses from the moment you woke up. The weekend had passed, but your chest still burned with rage at the thought of having to see Jungkook again. You hadn't even noticed the time go by over the last two days, too busy seething in your own anger. If you hated Jungkook before, you loathed him now. You forced composure as you got dressed for work. Jungkook already had the upper hand when he'd left you in the bar bathroom. He knew that you'd seen him with the girl afterwards too. You couldn't even think about whether he'd went home with her that night without being sick. After all that, the last thing you wanted was for him to think he had any kind of effect on you. You were going to go back to work with pride and confidence. At least you wanted to.
When you finally got to work, you made a beeline for your desk, pointedly not looking for Jungkook. As you settled in, one of your coworkers stopped by your desk.
"Oh hey Y/n, you feeling any better?" he asked. Your head whipped up, a gentle voice ripping you away from your resentful thoughts. You looked up at him in confusion, eyes settling on his red hair. "From Friday? You left early because you weren't feeling well?"
"Oh, right," you cleared your throat. Just then, you saw Jungkook's unmistakable figure from the corner of your eye. He was talking to someone but you could feel his eyes boring into you. Your blood began to boil but you forced yourself to stay calm. You refused to indulge him at all. "I'm feeling much better actually, thanks Jimin," you replied, shooting your coworker a sweet smile. Jimin was your acquaintance in the office; someone you could actually stand in that place. He was always kind and helpful which automatically made him better than 70% of the people there. Even though you hung out in the same circles, you never really became close friends. Probably because you were always more focused on how annoying Jungkook was whenever you were out. And you were doing it again. You made conversation to force any thoughts of him out of your mind.
"How does your hair seem more red every time I see you?" you asked with a light-hearted laugh.
"I can't be caught slacking. I put in a lot of work to keep this hair ya know," he smiled back at you.
"I still don't know how you got permission from the boss for that," you gestured to his hair. "I asked before and she shut me down so fast." Jimin laughed at the annoyed expression on your face, finding it endearing.
"I guess I'm just that charming," he shrugged, holding back a chuckle. You couldn't help but snicker. Jimin's jokes weren't that different from Jungkook's, but he wasn't obnoxious about it. Jungkook obviously believed his jokes and thought he was god's gift to the world, which made him insufferable. Jimin, on the other hand, didn't take his jokes too seriously and wasn't constantly flirting with anything that moved.
Jungkook, who was barely listening to the person talking to him, had heard your exchange with Jimin. He felt annoyance build in his chest. He knew that if he'd made the same joke, you would've been rolling your eyes and making fun of him. So why were you giggling when Jimin said it? He tried to distract himself by trying to focus on the conversation he was supposed to be having.
A quick chat with Jimin later, you turned back to your desk. You made the mistake of looking up and caught Jungkook's gaze. He looked at you, an indifferent look on his face. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; maybe you'd look away in embarrassment, maybe you'd glare at him angrily. But what he didn't expect was the cold, empty look you gave him - like you were looking right through him, like he wasn't even there. His brows furrowed for a quick second, even more annoyed now. You went right back to work.
That's how the next few days went by. Every time Jungkook was remotely in your vicinity, you'd look through him without ever acknowledging him. If he even tried to walk your way, you left the room immediately. At first, Jungkook thought you were just being childish. But when you regained your confidence after a few days, he knew that you weren't through with him just yet. If he thought your insults were bad before, the newfound loathing you had for him made things ten times worse. It started with you amplifying the spite in your voice when you insulted him for his work. You refused to speak with him directly either, so all the insults were being thrown indirectly and in front of your other coworkers. With every second this continued, Jungkook felt his patience running thin. But if you were stubborn, so was he. He kept up your little game by firing back with his usual sarcastic or flirty remarks. Internally, he was burning with fury, just like you wanted him to.
All the animosity and anger eventually came to its boiling point when you crossed the line for the last time. You had walked to your desk that morning to find that your boss had paired you and Jungkook on the next project. Your skin crawled at the idea of having to work with him over the next few weeks. Part of you wondered if Jungkook had something to do with this. Thinking about him getting your boss on board with making you his partner for this big project was only adding to the fire that was spreading through your body. You already hated the way your boss melted around him, but to think that he could manipulate her to this level? After spiraling for a few minutes, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. You had to remind yourself that you were jumping to conclusions and then convince yourself not to march over to Jungkook's desk and give him a piece of your mind. You tried to get back to work, but all you could think about were what reasonable excuses you could make to get out of this situation. The rest of your morning was spent racking your mind. With no luck, you decided to join your coworkers for lunch; hoping that it would give you a distraction.
Unluckily for you, Jungkook walked into the staff lunchroom soon after, only to find you and some of your other coworkers chatting around the coffee machine. Well, they were chatting and you were busy glaring him down from the second he stepped into the room. Your dark eyes peered at him over the rim of your mug as you sipped your coffee. You knew that there was no way in hell he was going to approach you to talk about this. The solution to your problem practically fell into your lap when you zoned back in to the conversation around you. If he really did get the boss to put you on the project with him, you'd make him regret that decision.
"I can't believe you got that huge project Y/n! You're so lucky," one of them said, playfully pouting.
"Talk about lucky," someone else chimed in, "You even get to work with Jungkook. But I guess that isn't so lucky for you." They laughed lightly, poking fun at you. Clearly they hadn't noticed that Jungkook was in the room, listening.
"Everyone here knows how much you hate him, even the boss. Really, what was she thinking pairing you guys up?" They continued to laugh at your misery. But you weren't annoyed. Instead, your mind lit up with the perfect way to get under Jungkook's skin in that moment. The second he saw the way your eyes lit up, he knew he was in for it. Jungkook prided himself on the fact that everyone liked him and thought highly of him. So what better way to get your revenge and get him to kick you off the project than to take that away from him?
"Yeah," you said skeptically, "She's never paired us up before." You continued to stare directly at Jungkook. Your coworkers looked at you with confusion and amusement.
"What changed this time?" Jimin's voice rang through the room as he walked in to join you. He'd already spotted Jungkook in the other corner of the room, and he saw the dark glint in your eyes. It was clear to him that you were up to something. So he helped you out by stirring the pot a little. Jungkook squinted his eyes at you, annoyed at seeing Jimin again and wondering where you were going with this.
"I think Jungkook really wanted this project," you answered. "And it's easy to get whatever you want when you're fucking the boss," you said, not breaking eye contact for a second. Gasps erupted across the circle as they all looked at you in disbelief. Jimin's brows raised and he scoffed, slightly taken aback that you were making that accusation. But you were more focused on Jungkook's reaction. The look on his face was beyond furious. His eyes darkened and you saw the tick in his jaw as he clenched it.
"Wait, you really think so?" one of them asked, everyone already engrossed in the gossip.
"He is a manwhore," you shrugged. Jimin stifled his laugh, not wanting to be too mean to Jungkook. You finally looked away from Jungkook and back at the group. "And he always gets the good projects. Boss doesn't favour anyone else like that." Your coworkers immediately started gossiping amongst themselves, making random connections because what you said made sense. Some of them already started getting riled up, thinking that their opportunities had been snatched by Jungkook through the boss. You obviously didn't know for sure whether Jungkook was sleeping with your boss or not. But you didn't have to. You just had to plant the idea and you knew your coworkers would jump to conclusions.
"You must be really pissed at him," Jimin whispered, leaning back against the counter. You felt Jungkook's eyes glaring daggers at you but you paid him no attention.
"I promise he had it coming," you whispered back, a devious smirk settling on your lips.
"Remind me to never get on your bad side," he chuckled. You just shot him a smirk. When you glanced back at Jungkook, you barely caught him walking out the door. You didn't know what you were expecting. Maybe you wanted him to lose his shit in front of everyone, or yank you out of the room with him. So the disappointment you felt only annoyed you more. By the time you finished your lunch and made your way back to your desk, you already began hearing whispers about Jungkook and your boss. For a moment, you wondered if this was crossing the line. Definitely. But so was getting you to blow him and ditching you in that bathroom. Now you're even. You couldn't help but smile, knowing that he must be seething about the rumours.
A couple hours later, you were being called to your boss' office to discuss the new project she'd assigned you and Jungkook. You reluctantly grabbed your things and made your way there. You couldn't keep in your scoff when you saw Jungkook already there, making your boss giggle about god knows what. Your boss cleared her throat as she noticed you in the doorway, peeling herself off her desk from how far she was leaning forward towards Jungkook. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Way to be subtle.
"Y/n," she announced, "Come, sit down." You forced a smile as you sat down in the chair next to Jungkook. He didn't say anything to you, didn't even bother looking at you. Just being in his proximity was pissing you off, especially since he had nothing to say to you. Obviously he couldn't say anything in front of the boss, but you wanted to see that you'd made him just as angry as he'd made you. Maybe all this rage was clouding your mind and judgement...but who cares?
You pulled out your pen and began taking notes as she started talking about the project. Despite hating working with Jungkook, you weren't going to let that ruin your work on this project. You rolled your eyes when you saw that he wasn't taking notes at all. Of course. As your boss began wrapping up the conversation, you gathered your things again, getting up to leave.
"Listen you two," she started, her tone changing. You raised your brows and sat down, curious what she had to say. "I know you don't like working together, but this is an important project. So please, put your feelings aside and work on this together." You scoffed, forgetting to keep your composure. That's when Jungkook finally looked at you. His eyes were fiery but he looked vaguely amused that you had the courage to scoff at the boss. Your boss was also looking at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation. That was all you needed to decide that maybe you weren't even with him just yet.
"Sorry, but it's not about feelings. Our work ethics don't match. I'd rather work on this alone," you said, straightening your back as you felt like you were in the spotlight. Your boss didn't look too happy.
"This isn't a one person project Y/n," she pointed out.
"I know, but it would honestly be easier to do the work myself instead of having to chase him around, begging him to get anything done." The amusement quickly disappeared from Jungkook's face.
"Excuse me?" he finally spoke. You ignored him.
"Maybe we can switch him out for someone who's actually focused on their work instead of flirting," you boldly stated. Your boss scoffed in disbelief.
"What is your problem? Do you think I want to work with you?" Jungkook spat, just about done with your shit. He shifted in his chair to face you, one hand gripping the armrest hard enough to see the whites of his knuckles. Oh now he had something to say.
"You're lucky to be working on this with me. Or else this project would've gone to shit," you retorted with an equal amount of spite.
"There's a reason I'm on this project Y/n. Because I'm good at my job. So if you're letting your personal feelings affect your professionalism, you need to get a grip." His words stung but you refused to accept that there was some truth to them. He was giving you a taste of your own medicine; humiliating you in front of your boss like you were doing to him. All your self control and common sense went out the window when you felt that embarrassment.
"Yeah, that's why you're on this project," you said sarcastically, referring to the rumour you'd started a few short hours ago. You could practically see his nostrils flare as he willed himself to keep his mouth shut.
"You're out of line Y/n," your boss jumped in. She hadn't heard the rumours yet, but she could clearly see that Jungkook didn't like the implications of what you had said. "I don't care whether you two like each other or not. You will put aside...whatever this is...and work together on this, and that's final," she said firmly. Irritation coursed through you, seeing her take Jungkook's side yet again.
"Yes ma'am," you barely grit through your teeth. You'd be darned if you got fired over Jungkook. You quickly stood up and left, rushing to the file room for a moment to cool down. It was the only place you could get some silence - no one ever really stepped into the filing room because most of your work was stored digitally anyways. You pressed your back to one of the metal cabinets, sliding down to crouch as the door slowly shut. You took some deep breaths to calm down. If you went back out there now, you would rip someone's head off. How did Jungkook have the audacity to continue being a dick to you? You knew you'd without a doubt crossed the line back there, but despite that, you didn't feel even with him yet. After a few moments of dragging your mind away from these thoughts, you took one last deep breath and stood back up. You straightened your skirt and fixed your hair. Since you were already there, you decided to grab some files you needed for the project before going back out there. You turned around, pulling a drawer open and digging through the files before you found them. Just as you pulled them out, you heard the door open behind you. You already knew who it was, getting a waft of his cologne. Your heart already began beating faster, not knowing what to anticipate. There was a beat of silence as the door slowly shut.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jungkook grit through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down. You didn't bother turning around or replying to him. Any semblance of self control he had left snapped when you didn't even acknowledge him. With three quick strides, he was right behind you, pressing you face flat against the cabinets. He yanked one of your hands behind your back, making you drop your files. You yelped as his entire body caged you in, slight panic rising in your chest.
"You don't get to ignore me now," he snapped, voice low. "You haven't shut the fuck up for the last few days, don't start now." He yanked your arm down further so he could hold your wrist with one hand. You groaned at the ache, but decided against complaining about it. His anger was palpable; you could practically feel it seeping through your skin, igniting your own fury. In the shock of the moment, you'd almost forgotten that Jungkook wasn't the only one with reason to be upset. This was all a consequence of his insanely disrespectful behaviour, and he had the nerve to be mad at you now?
"What is it? What's got you so fucking riled up, hmm?" He sounded bewildered, gritting the words through his teeth. The more he pressed against you, the harder it got to ignore the heat building in you. An ugly satisfaction was creeping through you seeing the way you'd managed to get under his skin. This was what you wanted; to see that you'd affected him.
"Didn't get enough cock last time? That it?" he growled, bending down next to your ear. His words pierced right through you, as if he knew exactly which buttons to press.
"Fuck you," you spat before you could compose yourself. You strained in his hold, your arm coming up to elbow him in the ribs. To your dismay, Jungkook predicted your move and held you tighter, keeping you still.
"I thought it'd be enough to keep you satiated for at least a week. But you're just a cock hungry whore hm? " he taunted, his lips grazing your ear and sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. "I should've fucked your throat a little harder. Wouldn't be able to lie about me to everyone - including our boss - then, would you?" Despite the bitterness in his voice, your body reacted to his words. Your mind was scolding itself for the rush of arousal that coursed through you. How was he still affecting you like this?
You shook your head clear. No. He wasn't going to have his way this time.
"Lie? I haven't lied about anything," you replied with a snarky tone. Jungkook chuckled in disbelief. He quickly flipped you around so you were forced to face him. You didn't hesitate to meet his ravenous gaze with your own.
"No? So you really think I'm sleeping with the boss?" he asked, tone getting serious. You shrugged nonchalantly, annoying him more.
"You'll fuck anything that moves," you jabbed. "At least fucking the boss has some real benefits unlike the girl from the bar. Maybe she'd even give you a raise if you could satisfy her properly." Jungkook couldn't hide the disgust that flared across his features; insulted that you thought so little of him. The urge to shut you up was growing stronger by the second, burning through his insides. You were going to drive him insane.
"Watch yourself," he warned, the words coming out dark and gravelly. But the surge of excitement that you felt, knowing that you had managed to provoke him, was addicting. You wanted more.
"If it was anyone else, I'd be all for it. Get that bag, you know?" you said with indifference. "But you? I thought the boss had better taste. Her bar must be in hell." That was enough for Jungkook. Before you even had a second to process what was happening, one of his hands was wrapped around your neck. His fingers dug into the flesh, limiting your breath in the most delicious way.
"You didn't seem to think so when you were begging me to touch you - to fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom," he growled, stepping closer, face inches from yours.
"Yeah, obviously I expected too much," you sneered. "You don't know how to please anyone but yourself. Boss must be a real masochist to keep going back to you. Poor thing," you tutted, knowing you'd practically nailed the head in your own coffin before you'd even finished your thought. Jungkook's face contorted in a snarl as his grip tightened around your throat. You gasped, the dark swirl in your core intensifying.
"Maybe I should talk to her," you patronized, chasing the high from pissing him off. "I can recommend someone who can actually make her feel good - get her off. A man. Not a selfish boy," you emphasized. "Think she'll like me better than you after that?" With that, his other hand was pressed firmly against your mouth, effectively shutting you up. You grunted at the sheer pressure of his hold, now struggling to breathe.
"You just don't shut up, do you?" he spat. The look in his eyes was nearly feral; like he was going to eat you alive. His ego took a hit to your words, even though he knew you didn't actually believe everything you'd said. Still, you seemed to be stuck on his 'selfishness'. It infuriated him that you didn't understand why he wasn't giving you what you wanted, but he'd had enough of you running your mouth. If you'd forgotten how easily he made you melt under his touch, he'd just have to remind you. And make sure you never forgot again.
With each passing second of silent seething, you thought he might actually choke you out. But then he let go of you. You gasped for air, coughing as you caught your breath. Just as you were about to shoot him the dirtiest look you could muster, Jungkook sank to his knees. The snarky remark on your tongue vanished as you watched him kneel in front of you, looking up at you with a carnivorous gaze. Lust consumed your senses as he wordlessly loosened his tie, tugging at the collar of his shirt. You'd think that seeing him on his knees would make you feel more powerful in the situation. But the hunger in his eyes made it clear that he was still very much in control.
Simply put: Jungkook, in a suit and on his knees, was enough to wipe away your last bit of common sense.
"This is what you want, right?" he asked, his hands slipping under your skirt. You felt paralyzed, your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved up your thighs, slowly dragging your skirt up with them. "You wanna cum, yeah?" You were genuinely struggling to form any thoughts, your senses heightened.
"Want me to make you cum?" A strangled groan bubbled in your throat at his tone. He'd barely done a thing and your breathing was already heavy. So much for your resolve. As your skirt bunched above your hips, you suddenly became hyper aware of your situation. You were still at work, in a file room, door unlocked.
"Someone could walk in," you gasped, trying to convince yourself that you didn't want this. He ignored you, trailing his fingers down your hips and legs instead. "We've already been gone for a while. What if someone comes looking?" You desperately tried to focus your wandering mind.
"I guess I should hurry then," he sneered, shooting you a glare. Then his fingers were sliding between your legs, making you close your eyes and sigh as they eased the ache in your clit. By that point you were too far gone to even feel embarrassed about having soaked through your panties. Jungkook hissed as your slick coated his digits. "I put the bar in hell, but still, you get so wet for me," he snapped, adding more pressure. For the first time all day, you had nothing to quip back with. Your sweet silence was like music to his ears. Mindful of the time, Jungkook hooked his fingers in your underwear and pulled them down your legs. You knew there was no going back as you stepped out of them. Your knees felt weak as you watched him hastily shove them in his pocket. But before you could ask what he was planning on doing with them, he hooked a hand under your thigh, lifting your leg up and to the side. With your legs spread and your pussy staring him in the face, Jungkook was struggling to control himself. He wanted to tease you - make you beg and plead - but he didn't. Fuck. He couldn't; not when he felt like he'd lose his sanity if he didn't taste you right away.
Without wasting another second, his lips were pressed to you, the velvety heat of his mouth engulfing you as his tongue licked at your wetness. Your mouth was left agape as your hands buried into his hair, using the locks to keep yourself tethered. Jungkook groaned into your heat; he felt like he was getting drunk off of you. His fingers dug into your thighs as he hungrily lapped at your pussy. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a drawn out moan as his lips wrapped around your clit, creating the perfect amount of suction. You would've thought he was starved seeing the vigor with which he ate you out. He didn't stop, didn't pull away for a single breath - too consumed with the taste of you on his tongue. You were embarrassingly close already, struggling to contain your moans and whimpers. You bit your lip, trying to hold them in, but another particular harsh lick to your clit had you groaning Jungkook's name. Seeing you unravel so quickly only fueled Jungkook's appetite; the sound of his name on your lips going straight to his aching cock. All it took was him groaning into your cunt after that to send you over the edge. Your fingers yanked at his hair, desperately pulling him closer as you felt the white heat build up.
"Jungkook, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed, voice whiny as you tried to keep quiet. "Gonna cum," you moaned right as you crashed over the edge. Jungkook felt you tense in his hold as you came on his tongue. He diligently lapped at your slit, sure to pay attention to your clit as well to help you ride out your orgasm. He slowed down as you came down from your high. Naturally, your legs tried to close together once his tongue became overstimulating. But Jungkook's hold was firm, keeping your legs apart. You tried to catch your breath, mind reeling from the mix of pleasure and pain flooding your senses.
"Jungkook... wait," is all you managed to get out. He ignored you again, picking up his pace despite your cringing.
"So fucking good," he growled against you, like he hated admitting it to himself. It felt weird hearing him compliment you after all the bickering and degrading earlier. Yet you couldn't deny that it boosted your ego seeing him so fucked out and angry. He pushed you further up against the cabinets, giving himself better access to you and delving his tongue into your dripping hole. And just like that, the sensitivity was replaced with a delicious pleasure once again.
"Please, wait..." you breathlessly pleaded. In contrast to the last orgasm, he was building this one up slowly. Unfortunately for you, that meant it felt twice as intense and you were getting increasingly worried about being caught.
"Thought you wanted to cum, sweetheart," he mocked. "That's why you're being such a bitch, right? Mad that I didn't make you cum last time?" he grit through his teeth. You cursed him under your breath, but were more focused on the feeling of his soft lips against. You finally looked down at him properly, ready to glare at him. But the second you saw his dark eyes staring up at you, the rest of his face buried between your legs, you lost your train of thought entirely. Then you saw his hand sprawled across your lower stomach while his thumb rubbed circles into your clit. Fuck, why was he so hot?
"What if we get caught?" you half-heartedly complained, trying to muffle your whimpers.
"They'll see what a fucking slut you are for me then," he grunted. You slapped a hand over your mouth when he picked up his pace, continuing to plunge his tongue in and out of you. "Keep your hands down," he demanded, pressing harder on your clit. "You're gonna keep moaning like that for me," he hissed, delving right back into the heat of your cunt. In that moment, all you heard was his demanding tone and your hands instinctively went back to his hair without a second thought. You whined, trying to keep your voice down as he slowly built up your pleasure.
"Good," he praised, his words muffled as he continued to eat you out. "I should make you scream, so that everyone knows that you, Y/n, are cumming on my tongue." His words were bitter but they turned you on more. You clearly had some problems. It didn't take very long after that to feel that white heat building up again. Jungkook could tell you were almost there, so he sped up the pace of his fingers and plunged his tongue deeper into you. "Including our boss," he rasped. And then you were cumming again; gripping tightly onto his hair and groaning his name once more.
"There you go," he coaxed, letting you ride his face. You hadn't realized, but at some point, your hips had started moving on their own. Seeing you with your eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open, as you unraveled under his touch, only fueled Jungkook's hunger. When you started coming down, he finally pulled away; giving you a second of reprieve. That was until you looked down to see his blown out, dark eyes staring at you. His mouth and chin were covered in your juices and he looked ravenous. He quickly pulled off his suit jacket, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes never leaving yours. Your chest heaved; partly because you were still catching your breath, and partly because of how fucking hot Jungkook looked in the moment. His hands went right back to your thighs, pulling them apart once more.
"Wait, what're you doing?!" you asked, eyes going wide. "I can't cum again, please," you nearly cried. His fingers dug into your thighs as he watched you plead.
"You can and you will," he said firmly. "You know why?" He slid his fingers between your folds, gathering all the wetness that had pooled. "Because you fucking love my touch," he growled. Your already weak knees felt even weaker.
"You're so desperate for it; for my mouth, my fingers, my cock." Your legs threatened to buckle under you if it weren't for Jungkook's hand holding you up. "So desperate that you're being such a fucking brat," he spat. "Trying to piss me off. So, what? So that I'd finally touch you again?" he mocked. Your senses were overwhelmed and his words settled in a pit in your stomach. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes; whether it was because of his harsh words or the overstimulation of his fingers, you weren't sure. Just as you were about to retort, Jungkook slipped a slender finger into you which slid in smoothly with how wet you were. He let out a throaty groan, quickly slipping another finger into you and curling them upwards. You nearly doubled over as he pressed right into your g-spot.
"See how tuned your body is to me? I've barely done a thing and you're already a mess," he taunted. Seeing how flimsy your legs had gotten, he quickly threw the leg he was holding over his shoulder, getting even closer to you. His name left your lips in a whine, your body torn between pleasure and worry. "Well here, I'm giving you what you want." He punctuated his words by curling his fingers again, making you moan. "You wanna cum? I'll make you cum...over and over again, so you never forget how good I make you feel." And with that, he finally pulled his fingers out before slamming them back into you, setting a hard pace.
Your mind was left blank, so consumed with pleasure that you couldn't even think about staying quiet. Whimpers and moans shamelessly tumbled out of you as he filled you up so delightfully. Jungkook wasn't unaffected either. Feeling how warm and wet you were was driving him up the wall, numbing his own thoughts.
"So wet for me, fuck. My cock would slide right into you with how drenched you are," he thought out loud. He felt you tighten around his fingers, making him snarl and pick up his pace. "Filthy fucking cockslut. I can't wait to feel you tighten around me like that when I'm fucking all this brattiness out of you," he growled, voice low. You could only moan in response.
"Jungkook, s-slow down, please," you begged, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Before you knew it, his free hand came down on your pussy, leaving a delicious sting spreading through you. A half yelp-half moan sound came out of you, making Jungkook scoff.
"You're gonna take what I give you, like a good little slut," he grunted. "What do you have to say now Y/n?" he asked, annoyance lacing his voice. "You're so convinced I'm fucking every woman and leaving them unsatisfied. Do you feel satisfied yet?" With his fingers pumping you, grazing your g-spot with every thrust, it was nearly impossible for you to form a coherent thought. When you didn't answer, he gave your pussy another smack, making you hiss.
"Answer me," he demanded, "How do you feel now Y/n?"
"F-feel good," is all you could come up with. Jungkook chuckled at your fucked out state.
"Who's making you feel good sweetheart?"
"You," you moaned, feeling yourself reach your climax again. "Oh my god. Jungkook, please...don't stop. Feels so good, I'm gonna-"
Jungkook's ego inflated as you finally found your words again, saying exactly what he wanted to hear. Hearing you beg for him almost made up for all the shit you'd put him through that day. Almost. You were creaming on his fingers before you could even finish your sentence, moaning his name way louder than you should.
"Now you're finally being a good girl," he praised, continuing to pump his fingers through your orgasm. "Fuck, you're getting so tight. Keep cumming on my fingers like that, yeah?" he groaned, imagining how good you would feel on his cock. Your orgasm was so powerful, you were cumming for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook didn't mind; continuing to work you through it. When it was finally over, your legs gave out. Jungkook quickly caught you as you collapsed, and he placed you down on his discarded jacket on the floor. You closed your eyes and waited for your heart rate to go back to normal. When you opened your eyes after a few moments, Jungkook was still kneeling in front of you. His gaze was trained on your still exposed cunt and he had slipped his soaked fingers into his mouth, tasting you all over again. You worried for second that he still wasn't done with you. He slowly dragged his glazed over eyes to meet your. You gulped at the voracious look on his face, your legs instinctively closing.
Meanwhile, Jungkook was battling with his own insatiable thoughts. He knew he couldn't forget about this, about you, about your pussy after this. As infuriating and insufferable you were, he couldn't deny how good you tasted and felt. And he sure as hell couldn't deny how hard you'd gotten him either. With his hormones surging through him, all he could think about was being inside you, in any way. He saw the look on your face and nearly scoffed. You fucked up his reputation and humiliated him all because you wanted to cum, and now you couldn't take it. He took a deep breath, forcing his thoughts away so he could be rational.
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you cum again," he said. You scoffed, easing up a little with his reassurance. "You got what you wanted, right? Now maybe you'll keep your mouth shut." The high of your pleasure was wearing off and the weight of his words were hitting you. Did he really just think you were desperate for him? Had he forgotten how he was shamelessly flirting with that other girl right after leaving you in that bathroom? Reality finally caught up with you, and you realized how vulnerable you'd made yourself to him. If someone came in right now, the only person who'd be humiliated was you. Clearly, all of this was just a game to him; a way to shut you up. Jungkook was toying with you and you were letting him. A similar shame and hurt creeped across your skin as the night he'd left you in the bar bathroom. Part of you had started to feel bad about what you'd done earlier, but if Jungkook really was just using you, then you were still nowhere near even.
Without saying a word, you stood up, pulling your skirt back down. In the process, you remembered that he'd taken your underwear. But you'd have to talk to him to ask for them back, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. You'd just have to clean up later and make it through the day without them. You straightened your clothes, trying to make them look as less wrinkly as possible, avoiding Jungkook's piercing gaze. When you finally felt like you looked presentable, that's when you looked at him. This time it was him that was left a mess. His hair was ruined by all the grabbing and pulling you'd done, and his collar was soaked with your juices. You looked at his jacket that you were not standing on, and sure enough, you'd left a wet spot and now heel marks on it too. It made you feel a little better, knowing that this time he'd have to fix himself up instead of you. You picked up his jacket with the toe of your shoe before kicking it over to him. You shot him a cold look.
"You're an asshole," you stated before walking out the door. Jungkook was left on the floor, even more frustrated. He'd felt more gratified after putting you in your place, but then what was that? You'd obviously enjoyed yourself, so what was the problem now? He groaned loudly. Despite his anger, the bulge in his pants was now aching. Everything about you was infuriating to him, so how did you have this much of an affect on him? His mind wandered back to how you felt in his hands and on his tongue. He growled as he palmed his crotch, slowly taking out his hard cock. He stroked himself harshly with the frustration you'd left him with. He quickly pulled out your panties from his pocket, unable to stop himself. His head rolled back and your name spilled past his lips along with low groans as he brought up the thin fabric to his face.
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