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ayamturd · 4 years ago

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kid│technoblade

summary: (requested) an errand run forces techno out of the house; he meets an interesting kid in return

warnings: brief injury description, hinted abandonment, light angst and fluff

pairing: in-game platonic!technoblade

a/n: i took this request and ran so far with it lol. pls enjoy, i loved the reader’s dynamic with techno sm

wc: (4.0k) - m.list

It was hot, the day smothering in the summer heat as the village offered little coverage to the harsh sun. From exploring the lands of the Arctic to walking in the crowded space on the sweltering landscape, Technoblade let out a sigh from how his layered clothing stuck to him; his regal attire was more than slightly uncomfortable and was arguably only for looks then and there.

Glancing down to the list in his hands once more, he grumbled from the tasks, supplies and ingredients he still needed, openly irritated from being forced on the supply run. Real funny Phil. Hilarious.

He scratched his head, lost to the busy market place as many shoved past him in the busy rush. Technoblade was a warrior, the Blood God, he was someone to be feared and feel threatened by, yet at that very moment he couldn’t be anything less than a lost tourist.

Technoblade rarely ventured to extremely public places, but he knew he couldn’t return empty handed, the underwhelming mockery he would receive would be just plain annoying.

With a final sigh of defeat, he decided it best to take each task step by step, that starting with the blacksmith. Now, make no question that Technoblade and Phil weren’t not capable of crafting their own weapon, but at times, the cost of another’s opinion did more help than that of personalized wants.

It was even hotter once he entered the open store, the burning furnace emitting an almost intolerable intensity that rivaled the burning cold of the Arctic. Rolling his neck, he approached the front desk and unsheathed both Phil’s and his long swords, tossing a small pouch with a chink as payment for restorations and commendations.

Speaking few words in the villager’s tongue, the worker immediately began his assessment when taking the weapons in hand. Techno knew little in the different language, but he understood when the man explained the necessary works and time expectancy.

He sighed for what felt to be his 15th time that afternoon, but complied when leaning against the counter for the next few minutes; he refused to leave his best weaponry in the hands of a stranger, and would do with the wait until then.

Picking on the crusted mud that hardened on his fur coat, he jumped when someone slammed into the wood he leaned against, eyes dropping to meet the height of a young adolescent.

Unlike himself, they seemed dressed for the sweltering heat. Their cloak hung loosely from their shoulders, but was bare and thin, either from time or was purposeful from the climate, it was his guess. While they seemed as energetic as someone their age should be, he could tell from experience of the way they stood tall with their chin held high that they were a fighter, someone who seemed cautious of their surroundings by the constant shift in their eyes.

He also knew they noticed him but was purposefully choosing to ignore him for whatever reason, he couldn’t tell. Coughing, he went back to his useless fiddling.

They tapped anxiously, their fingers twitching while they looked longingly to the nearest axes, an overwhelming sense of excitement filling the stuffy air. While he tried to ignore them considering how little they could stand still irritated him, he couldn’t deny that they intrigued him.

“Helloooooooo?” they called out, jumping above the counter and holding themself up with their arms stiff in strength. Techno waited a brief moment while they began yelling louder before rolling his eyes to interrupt them.

“They’re busy right now. Give it a minute, will you?”

His monotoned voice caused them to freeze, and as they slowly turned to meet the sight of him, a huge grin grew on their face. It made his frown grow in return.

“A minute can be so long in silence, I’m only making it go faster.” Techno scoffed at their words and fully turned his body towards them. His genetics made him tower over them even when slouched, yet while he knew others would cower, the child in front of tilted their head in amusement.

“By what logic does that make any sense?”

The mischievous teenager followed Technoblade’s posture, mimicking his stance with crossed arms. They jutted their chin out proudly, though it was obvious they were only messing with him further.

“My logic, obviously.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s yours, doesn’t make it right.”

With an annoying quirk of a smile, the small human smirked with feigned innocent eyes.

“Says who?”

Knowing full well that it would a battle in vain, Techno conceded and faced the front desk again, his arms resting against the table as he hung his head down with a huff of air.

His considered defeat made the young stranger laugh lightly, and they copied his position, but instead held their head in their palms with a small hum. Staring at him intensely, their head rocked in thought for some time before they spoke up.

“You look miserable.”

It took Techno a large amount of willpower to prevent himself from glaring in their direction, something the child took as a challenge. They filled the silence when Techno left it unattended, leaning closer to him while still in place.

“I mean, the outfit is sick, I won’t lie. But you just look awful right now. How many layers do you have on anyway?”

Once more, he had to clench his fist tightly to drown out their bothersome questions. The child, as he now deemed it considering how persistent it could be, noted his subtle tensing and bit their lip to smother another coming giggle.

“Is your crown real? Are you actually royalty? Am I expected to bow in honor or respect? I’m terrible with conversation-“

“So I’ve noticed.” Techno dryly stated, his hand coming to rub the back of his head, exasperated, with a shake. They completely disregard his side comment like he never spoke.

“-but I never though I’d live to see the day I interact with royalty.”

“I’m not royal, I’m anythin’ but.” Techno’s voice dropped when considering the matter, his narrowed eyes in concentration against his constant fight for Anarchy and destruction.

His seriousness created a beat of silence in the shop, though without fail, the teenager overlooked his internal monologue.

“Do you have a long, fancy name with numbers and stuff? Like ‘King George the First' or ‘Their majesty, Alas-’”

“No."

“But what about-”

Techno’s groan cut their next range of questions off, and he pushed himself up to stare them down tiredly.

“You’re a pretty annoyin’ kid, you know that?”

Sitting up when he did, the teen jumped onto the counter backwards, swinging their legs on the edge while gripping the border tightly. They rested their chin on their shoulder with an eased smile as they now matched his height.

“So I’ve been told.”

The approaching footsteps from the back entry caused the both of them to turn their heads, the young stranger facing to him while Techno’s gaze still remained.

“But you can’t deny it, I made time go faster.”

Hopping off before they could be scolded, the blacksmith returned with the weapons’ adjustments and the requested engravings Phil asked for, drawing Techno’s attention away from the young stranger. He opened the cloth the worker brought the swords out in, and lifted his own while gripping the grained handle tightly.

Stepping away from the counter, he swung the blade in front of him, tossing it briefly as to adjust to its weight and consider its balance. The wind it generated in the slices of air brought a dark smile to his face. Satisfied with the result, Techno inspected the finer details up close a final time before sheathing it to his side.

As he went to grab Phil’s, he caught the teen’s awed gape. He chuckled from their open amazement and moved to walk towards the displayed axes behind them.

“What’s your name, kid?” With his back to them, he reached his hand outward to the various blade sizes, hovering over the edges with careful pressure.

His question visibly threw them off, and they stuttered before gathering themself.

“What’s yours?” they asked, eyebrows raised in defense. Techno felt the corner of his mouth lift from their faltering.

“Technoblade.” He was patient as they swallowed before responding.

“Y/n.”

Unclasping a light, yet deadly thin battle-blade axe from the wall, Techno eventually turned around to meet them again.

“No last name?”

While they smiled, it didn’t reach their eyes as they glanced away with a careless shrug. No origin or proper upbringing, he assumed.

“Never came up with one. Never needed one.”

“Hmm.”

Lifting the axe in hand, Techno gestured to the empty baldric that wrapped tightly around their chest. By their longing stares and stance as a fighter, it didn’t take much to make the connection that they were someone who fought with an axe.

“What happened to the last one?”

Surprised by his close observation, they brought their hands to the bare hold as if they were searching for it. Unlike the past few minutes in his company, they suddenly became shy and spoke with a guilty smile.

“O-oh. I, uh, chipped the blade. Wore it down. It’s been a while since I was able to treat myself, I thought it was finally worth the wait to get a new one.”

Shifting on their feet, they grasped one of their arms awkwardly. Despite their previously loud, outward energy, Techno sighed once he saw them as the kid they were; they were someone alone that was forced to survive in the big world, someone he could relate and understand.

After a moment passed, Techno faced the worker. They had been watching their interaction the entire time and seemed as uncomfortable as they were bored. Without asking for a price, he wordlessly pulled out a handful of emeralds from his drop leg pouch and slammed them on the table surface.

The blacksmith made sounds of gurgled delight, gathering the gems into his opens hands with furious nods in thanks. Techno only rolled his eyes and shoved the purchased axe forwards, leaving it open in his outreached hands to the child.

“Save your money. It’s not worth any price they try to sell.”

Switching their sights from the weapon and Technoblade in disbelief, they breathlessly giggled when carefully lifting it from his hold.

Twirling it easily before striking near the ground, the pulled the new beauty to their chest gratefully. They were at a loss for words, to say the least, and Techno laughed from their frozen shock.

His laughter died down and he decided to take his leave in quick steps. While the teen tried to shout to him in thanks, they were still dazed and couldn’t form words to yell.

Techno paused at the entrance and dipped his head back, his hand bordering the door frame. He grinned slightly to the point where his sharper canines were visible, and called out to them in departure.

“See you around, kid.”

Bow raised, arrow drawn, Techno crept low on the forest ground with cautious and calculated steps.

The overgrown leaves above provided a gentle shading that shielded the majority of the sunlight, only few splotches breaking through. It had been too long since Techno went hunting, the sport lost to him since his recent adventures and scenery in the very south.

As he had been traveling for days on end to meet with his brothers’ call, he thought to gather food and see through with his lost skill; he had devoted a majority of his time in peaceful solitude to farming and raising cattle, he wasn’t as skillful as he used to be.

Keeping that in mind, as his eyes narrowed from the close rustling of a bush before him and he approached meaningfully, he failed to noticed the grown roots that broke through the dirt.

With a small yelp, his foot became stuck and he fell hard onto his face.

A small rabbit hopped out of the shrubbery and stopped briefly near him as if in mockery to his embarrassing failure before bouncing away.

Technoblade groaned, both from pain and the circumstances, and gave up any hope for moving in shame when the voices began to mock him.

“Well that wasn’t very royal of you.”

While his memory failed him more often than not, he recognized the voice specifically over the chaos that reigned in his ears. Contemplating the next-least humiliating course of actions, he settled on pretending nothing happened.

“Like I said the last time,” he sighed while pushing himself up, “I’m not royalty.”

Brushing off the dirt that stained his clothes and skin, Techno turned to the child’s voice and jerked startled when their entertained countenance was closer than what he expected. They were hanging upside down with their legs hooked on a low, but sturdy branch.

Face smug, they crossed their arms and openly snickered.

“Agreed, you are far less graceful than what I expect them to be.”

Techno shook his head and searched for his bow, the old relic more traditional and practical in comparison to his crossbow for hunting. He hummed when spotting it and tried to shift the conversation.

“What are you doin’ out here, kid?”

Pulling themself up in a sitting position, they swung their feet wildly and looked around the woodlands with a shrug.

“I live here.”

Freezing mid crouch with his bow in hand, Techno’s words were slow following after.

“Out here?”

“Mhmm.”

There was a pause as Techno looked at them confused. His brows furrowed fro their vague input.

“In the trees?”

“Sometimes,” they sang. Leaping forward, they landed smoothly onto their feet and raised their eyes to the sky. “It depends on my mood, and whether or not I want to see the stars.”

“Ah.”

With that, Techno turned and started to walk away. His hunting attempt was a mistake that cost him a bullying teenager that apparently lived in the woods and was homeless, the voices adding onto his internal torment; he wanted to leave as fast as he could.

Racing their steps ahead of him, y/n began to walk backwards to address him directly.

“Why are you here? I assume you don’t live near here since you dress like an old, aristocratic woman with modesty insecurities.”

Techno looked ahead without faltering considering their playful jab, and they tried for an answer again.

“Plus you haven’t been around for weeks.”

Steps slowing, Techno was genuinely surprised to hear their observation and glanced at them with an inclined head tilt.

“You looked for me?”

Caught in their own web, y/n timorously avoided his stare.

“The town’s always busy with newcomers, travelers, royalty,” they emphasized with a pointed look at him, “trust me when I say you stick out like a sore thumb. Your turn.”

Nodding from their reasonable, but untrue explanation, it was Techno’s turn to glance away while formulating a response.

“I’ve been… uh, explorin’, you could say.”

In a paralleling manner, they copied his previous nod despite their skepticism.

“I see. And now?”

“Now I’m visitin’ an old friend, old relations.”

“Ahhh. Girlfriend?”

Technoblade stopped walking altogether and incredulity gawked at them.

“What?”

“Boyfriend?” y/n continued, now turning with their back facing him. Techno rushed to meet there stride and spoke down to them.

“No, stop it.”

Hand to their chin, they pretended to reach another revelation with wide eyes.

“Ohh I get it now, distant family.”

“You can be quiet now,” Techno grumbled. Smacking his forehead, he rubbed it exasperated while their joy became evident in their cheerful tone.

“Are they misunderstanding?” the teen asked, their cheeks flushed excitedly from his apparent discomfort. “Is it the person-friend they don’t approve of?”

“I’m leaving now.” Techno hurried his pace as to leave the forest ground.

“They rude? Unbearable? Selfish? Annoying?”

“You know what,” he stated, spinning to them to clarify since they had stopped walking entirely behind him, “yes.”

“Ooo which one?”

“Annoyin’, and you remind me so much of them.”

The trees were now clear as the plains had become more visible during their trek. Strapping the long, recurve barbow over his head and around his chest, Techno thought the exchange done and allowed the sun to bask over him.

Before he could make his way to his camp, their voice yelled out to him.

“Aww that’s sweet!”

Perplexed to how anything of what he said could be seen as ‘sweet’, his curiosity got the better of him and he turned again.

“You consider me like family? I’m touched!”

Eyes narrowed, Techno bowed his head it defeat once again. He could never win with them, could he?

“‘kay, I’m done with this. Goodbye.”

Y/n waved avidly with a wide grin in spite of him not looking.

“See you around, Sir Blade!”

“You should consider yourself lucky.”

The stillness was deafening. Regardless of the wind that howled outside and forced the shudders to rattle upon constant impact, or the fire the lit the room bright in heat and warm tone color, the quiet was tense when y/n awoke in Techno’s house.

“I saw the smoke burn miles out. Had the wind changed its course, I would have never noticed.”

As his back was turned to them, Techno pulled the cork from his most recent regeneration brew and poured it briskly into a small mug, its small rippling sound overtaking the room. With a plate of bread he prepared beforehand, he finally addressed them with the sustenance in hand.

Y/n was completely engulfed in the large bedding they rested in, Techno’s bedding. Their arms were wrapped tightly with gauze that covered their forearms all the way to their chest. Eyes sunken and dark, they squinted heavily from recently awakening with ashen hair that matted to their face.

“Is everyone alright?” they asked, voice faint yet rough from the intense smoke inhalation and damage they sustained in the event. Coughing from speaking for the first time, Techno was quick to hand them the potion.

They downed the drink voraciously, and he decided to speak while they ate.

“Everyone that managed to escape, probably. But those that did fled long before I arrived.”

Glancing at down at them, Techno could only sigh at the sight. They were so small under his gaze, and he shifted his attention to the nearest wall with crossed arms.

“It’s one thing to help others, it’s another when takin’ on a raid by yourself.”

His pointed comment caused them to snap and try to defend themself, however, they moved to suddenly and winced from the slight movement. Despite his frown, Techno’s hands were raised gently with concerned eyes from their evident pain.

Breathing in and out harshly, they were still hunched over when they glared up at him in anguish.

“You didn’t hear them scream, you didn’t hear them yell for mercy. You weren’t there, but I was. I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.” Their voice cracked near the end, and with vast tears that escaped, a broken sob filled the space as they hid their face ashamed.

Techno was at a loss when comforting others, but he wasn’t a jerk to ignore someone after surviving a tragic incident, one they tried to fight yet lost to.

Slowly, he moved to sit on the bed side. He clenched his fist shut in hesitance, but steadily, he hovered his hand over them before stroking their back reassuringly.

“Listen, kid,” pausing, Techno caught himself and cleared his throat, “Y/n, I know you barely know anything about me but trust me. I understand how it feels, how it must’ve felt then to be overwhelmed by sudden cries that surround you to the point that you make rash decisions. Trust me when I say I get it.”

Their cries died down from his words, and he spoke earnestly as they listened more closely in smothered hiccups.

“I respect what you tried to do in the end, but you have to be self aware that you’re still just a kid.”

His blunt statement made them freeze, and when the fully processed what he said, they dropped their hands to scowl at him incredulously. Their red eyes are hard and made him laugh from his lack of explanation to his true meaning.

“Hey, I never said it was the age that was at fault.”

Pulling his arms away, he grasped his hands together and rested his elbows to his knees, though his focus was still on them.

“You’re young, and young means inexperienced. Give yourself some leeway and accept your limits that come with time.”

They looked down from his attentive eyes, but still nodded when understanding his perspective.

Rubbing the bottom of his chin with the back of his hand, Techno attempted to further the conversation amiably. He was out of his depth socially, but he was trying for their sake.

“Besides all that, I have to say you can definitely fight.” Their eyes shot up to meet his, the acclaim unexpected. Their face was too emotionally soft for Techno to look at, so he turned away before speaking with a joking smirk.

“Though I’m not too sure about your close combat.”

Gawking at the audacity, y/n lightly smacked his arm and scoffed. A smile crept on their face as they shook their head from the backhanded compliment.

“You try training with a tree, they don’t always fight back.”

His snicker grew from their weak justification, and eventually, they joined his laughing fit. Helpless giggles replaced the once solemn air. While it soon died down, the elation of each other’s company still remained.

Techno rose from the soft mattress and crossed his arms loosely in thought. With a single nod, his monotoned voice encouraged them considerately.

“Get some rest, we can talk later.”

Like his past departures, his steps were fast and large as he moved to exit. His hand pulled the door with him, but a shy call of his name stopped him from closing it fully shut.

“Technoblade.”

His head peaked from behind the wooden door and was met with soft eyes that expressed more gratitude than words could convey.

“Thank you.”

“No thanks needed, kid.”

Bonus:

Shutting the door gently, Techno walked into the kitchen space with a sigh. He rubbed his eyes from the hours he spent watching them unconscious after tending to them, and heeded the voices’ command for food (real food for once, not blood).

He leisurely approached the pantry, and without turning to address him, spoke lowly.

“Not a single, word.”

Phil lowered the book in his hand and raised a hand defensively with a shrug. He was sat in the living room, obscured in the large armchair from the kitchen; Techno was aware of his presence, however, and knew of his routine.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Phil called out, though Techno was quick to respond.

“Phil, you are the least stealthy person on this planet.”

“No, no, I’m serious. I have nothing to say.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Techno murmured a sure and moved to the front door, an apple in one hand and bag full of produce tucked in his other arm. He stated that he was going check on the animals and slammed the door close harshly.

Moments passed as Phil sat in silence, save for the crackling fire that roared beside him, before speaking as if he could still hear him.

“To think, I sent you to the store and you brought back a kid.”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #dsmp x reader #technoblade imagines #technoblade x gn!reader #technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #father!technoblade x reader #platonic!technoblade x reader

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mbti-notes · 3 years ago

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Anon wrote: Hi. I was typed as INTJ but recently I've been thinking about the possibility of being INFJ instead. I'm 19 and struggling with a bad childhood. Your insight would be really useful, thank you in advance.

So, for INTJ:

Ni: My whole life revolves around looking for meaning. Even the simplest life events can make me look at my inner self and think “what it's the true meaning of this?”. I rarely care only about the surface, I believe there's a reason behind every action and decision, so I can obsess about it and become stagnated if I'm not careful. My mind works in imagery and imagination. I visualize myself in a certain way in my head and I know I have to get there. The idea of not achieving my ideal self makes me anxious, because I don't see any other way of not being my best.

Te: I go through situations using external measurements. I care a lot about time because I see it as a tool to make my life easier. I value myself through achievements, like grades and good results. If I have a problem, I'm most likely to find a quick and long term way to fix it. I don't want to let any other options open because it demands time to plan over again, but I can adapt fine as long as the result is still possible. I prioritize the results over the how, because the result is what is going to last. I want to assure my decisions are the most efficient possible.

Fi: My feelings are like a needle poking a numb arm. The arm is there, though numbed, but if you poke in the right place I will feel it deeply. I'm not always conscious of them, they just happen. I don't like when they happen because it means I will have to do something about it, and I'm uncomfortable in making decisions based on them. I don't know how long they will last, for example, so I don't know how to trust their results.

I know who I am and I don't need confirmation from other people. I believe everyone is their own person, so I don't get into people's lives. I don't try to influence them because I wouldn't like people trying to influence me. I can't not be honest about my feelings, so I'd rather not to be prompted to in casual conversation. I care a lot about not hurting the people I love, and whenever I do it accidentally, I feel extremely guilty about it because it feels like I'm betraying myself. I can be judgy of people that express their feelings openly. For example, when I see someone cry or complain about their life, my first thought is “…why they're not doing something about it? just create something and actually get you out of the situation, instead of crying!"

Se: I never know how to experience the sensory world. Two things are more likely to happen: I get underwhelmed by it – I go out and think "is this all?", because raw reality is not like I want to. It's predictable and boring, because I played it off a million times in my head already, I know what will happen. Or I get overwhelmed by it – too much movement, too much food and color and smells, not enough time for me to analyze it. I developed an eating disorder because of this push and pull in my head, I didn't know how to balance who I want to be with where I was at the present. I can be impulsive because of this.

For INFJ:

Fe: I care about harmony within a small group of people that I care about. I don't want connection with every single person in the world or people that I don't see any potential on, that wouldn't be realistic. But I hesitate to take decisions that might hurt those people, it makes me uncomfortable to break that harmony even if it's for a good cause. I struggled in the past about standing up for myself because I used to think that me being me was an offense to the people that raised me. Being naturally tuned to people's moods around me was a must strategy of survival.

Ti: I used to manipulate people by taking charge of them, which I think it might be a sign of Ti loop. I was little and I used to purposefully cause conflict between my friends and make them obey me because I thought I knew what was the best of them, kind of like my mother (ESFJ) did to me. I don't know it if was to achieve power, because while I'm healthy now, I don't care about having power over people. But it was a competition, nevertheless.

------------------

I think the INFJ stack is a better fit. Functions need a lot of development, though.

#ask #assessment

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obitohno · 2 years ago

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Babe!!!!!!! Omg!! Going on anon cause I'm shy 👀 anyway. I'm a virgin and I had bad past relationships with boys but I don't regret not doing it cause I always hear girls saying their first time was disappointing or how men don't even make them cum most of the time and!!!!! Aaaah I wanna buy a dildo so bad but I have zero privacy!!! I live with my roomate and we share a room and she always snoops in my stuff 😭😭 I don't think I could hide it somewhere. Plus she's mostly at home with me but I wanna buy one!!!!!!!

So how I get off, hope you don't mind me sharing lmao. I need to have something, I don't really like porn cause it's so violent and just dick dick and ugh. I like audios or Twitter videos sometimes. I do ride my pillow or use my electric toothbrush holder 🫣 like use the vibration. Anyway it takes me a few minutes and I feel a good sensation that last a few seconds and that's all :/ Is that an orgasm??? I mean it does help me release and it feels good but it's not overwhelming like I read about it 😭😭 I'm starting to think I never had one or maybe I don't know how to do it

sfdfd, first of all, hihi!

this may be tmi, but i used to be a big part of the nsfw community on twt a few years back, n i actually ended up buying quite a few toys for content >.< i now stash my hidden toys in one of the drawers under my bed bc it’s the easiest place to hide stuff, so if you can fit anything under your bed, a small box would be my recommendation bc if you’re in the mood, it’s nice to have easy access (trust me, wasting time rummaging around for sex toys bc you can’t find the one you want is a mood killer). also! maybe put some boundaries in with your roommate beforehand, n make it clear that you don’t want her snooping through your things anymore bc, one, if it was the other way around, i don’t think she’d be so willing to allow you to look through her belongings without permission, n two, it’s just rude??

secondly, if you feel that release, then i’m pretty certain that you’ve had an orgasm before. a lot of the time, orgasms can be rushed n the end result isn’t always so intense bc it’s a ‘quickie’ (if this makes sense). again, tmi, but some orgasms can be pretty ‘small’ n underwhelming for me, n i’m just chilling like ‘oh, was that it?’ the best kind are the ones that you slowly build up to—or even ones that you deny—before releasing. if you have the time to, experiment with which types of videos that you like to watch. homemade porn—especially solo masturbation videos—are my personal favourite, so if i’m in the mood, i like to lay there n watch a bunch of them as a little teaser for myself. have a search online, see which videos you like the most n favourite/bookmark them to keep for a later date. sometimes, if i really like a video, i’ll rewatch n see how long i can hold off before i cum ;-;

again, it’s all down to personal preference, n as cliche as it sounds, you literally have to take the time to explore your own body. experiment with hands, toys, even pillows or mattresses n if it works for you, then dw about what other people are doing. everyone is different, so i can only say what works for me, but any orgasm, whether rushed or drawn out, is yum (imo), so ig i can only wish you the best of luck going forward?? i hope this helped a lil >.<

#♡ jordy is replying ♡#♡ anon ♡#cw sex toys

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evilchrispine · 4 years ago

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Overwhelmed overworked overpaid

I'm on top of the world, sittin' pretty on a stack

But the static still cracks in my veins

At the bottom of the universe I'm feeling all the weight

People die for this

People lie for this

People suck and fuck some guy for this

Pay the toll for this

Sell their soul for this

Play the part but what's my role in this

I'm not built for this

All the guilt of this

And I don't think I can deal with this

I'm too old for this

Gonna fold from this

People starvin'

And I get gold for this?

You all chalk me up

As some whiney fuck

Who's stressed by success

Like my life sucks

I get it, I know, its such a conundrum

I get what I want but I can't have much fun with it

It's not the fame or the money I'm yearnin'

I don't give a fuck about what I've been earnin'

But each day I wake up more blessed and I'm learnin'

Of all of these people I'm least to deserve it

I don't deserve it

I try to be perfect I'll never be perfect

I'm not worth it

Keep lookin' for answers I swear I've been searchin'

But come up short, and I give up quick

'Cause if I found it I think I'd be scared of it

You don't see the scene that's behind the screen

And I urge you all to beware of it

It's an interesting dichotomy

Of monetized sincerity

Stir up my insecurity

With constant uncertainty

Generation of anxiety

The Look-At-Me society

Dubiety of piety

The gods all suffer silently

I'm sorry for my obsession with attention

I have an ungodly fear of rejection

My apprehension and objection is the viral infection

Of dollars and followers in place of affection

What I need is a human connection

Not blue light and a foggy reflection

Of my misconception of my own perception

A result of too much introspection

They find my disinterest interesting

My depression, a funny thing

My decline is relatable

People love that I hate myself

Yeah, they love that I hate myself

People love that I hate myself

I climbed out of my head

And watched myself implode

A thought without a body

Ought to be a shot to take a load

Off my brain is poisoned

And I'm searching for the antidote

But every time I find it

My defenses scream, "Oh, no you don't!"

Whoa

But it's fine

No, really I'm fine

It's just a matter of time

You'll lose your mind

And not be fine from time to time

I'm not crazy

But I feel crazy all a sudden

In a city never seein'

Snow or rain or leaves in autumn

Lose yourself in seasons

Not remembering that you forgot 'em

Knocking on my door

I can't confront 'em so I lock them

Out

But I don't mind

No, I really don't mind

'Cause believe it or not

It feels good to be forgot

From time to time

So forget me

And please, God, forgive me

If you feel a touched underwhelmed

By all my overwhelming negativity

Who am I and when?

When's my work day end

And where does me begin?

Are these my colleagues or my friends?

On a scale of ten to one

Do you hate who I've become?

'Cause I hate who I've become

I'm sorry for who I've become

im blocking you right now

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betweentheseseams · 5 years ago

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For Christmas, my aunt gifted me a DNA kit. I’ve always thought they were a bad idea (Where is all that info being stored? What unethical things can a company owning the rights to so much DNA possibly do? Why do white people need to know so badly how white they are, to the point that we created the ultimate Buzzfeed survey to confirm our whiteness? (If you didn’t know, Ancestry/23andMe and the like aren’t especially helpful for non-white folks, due to lack of testing in largely non-white groups. There’s a whole lot more to study on that and I highly suggest you take the time to read up on it)). That being said, most of the adults in my family have done the tests, mainly to appease my aunt, who is essentially our family historian and takes her role very seriously. I had considered the idea of doing one over the years. I never met my biological father. My mother separated from him before she realized she was pregnant with me, and although he was aware that she was pregnant and I had been born, there was no communication there and she met and married my stepfather shortly after I was born. He was my dad growing up, until I turned 18 and we became estranged, after I realized how incredibly toxic he was as a person and he basically disowned me when he discovered I wasn’t interested in following his rules and very racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, and highly uneducated ideas. It caused a lot of issues within our family, but for the most part things have been relatively calm in the 10+ years since.

Fast forward to Christmastime. I had expressed interest in finding out if I had any other siblings, as well as my medical history, to my mother and my aunt. I wasn’t particularly interested in knowing anything about my biological father. Over the years, my mom has mentioned that he wasn’t a particularly good person when they were together, and the last information she’d heard of him was that he’d been arrested for arson at some point in the late 90s. I’ve never really given him much thought, and, as a child, whenever anyone realized that my stepfather wasn’t my actual biological dad, I was extremely vocal in pointing out that I only considered my unknown biological father as the “Sperm Donor”. But the idea of possibly having other siblings, and wanting to have a more complete medical history was compelling enough to me that I sold away my spit and rights to a company.

Come March, I got the results back and sent my aunt a text so she could connect me to our family tree in the app. She immediately went into super detective mode, and within a day found my biological father and several other family members. She confirmed that I didn’t have any other siblings, besides the two I already have, and that I had a living grandmother, several aunts, and a few cousins. She sent me photos, articles, and social media links, and I expressed to her that it was very overwhelming and while I appreciated it, I needed time to process it all. I tentatively went to my biological father’s Facebook page that he shared with his wife, and was extremely underwhelmed by what I saw. This man, a stranger to me, could’ve rivaled the dad who raised me in his ass-backwardness. He might possibly be the only MAGAmaniac in all of Vermont (obviously not, but you know what I mean), and as I already wasn’t interested in knowing him pre-test, this basically confirmed to me that he wasn’t someone I wanted to know. When you’re already a card-carrying member of the Shitty Dads Club™️, do you really need another one?

And that was that. I basically wrote that part of my life out of my mind, as it didn’t have anything to do with me or my day-to-day. The knowledge of having a living grandmother wasn’t appealing to me, as my Momaw (stepfather’s mom) passed four years ago, and was the most amazing grandma and best friend I could have possibly asked for. I feel lucky that I was able to have something SO good come from that connection, along with my two siblings. I don’t need another grandparent because I hit the fucking jackpot of unconditional love and support and guidance with Momaw. I didn’t feel like I was missing out by not knowing anyone else from my paternal biological family, either, as my mom is the youngest of 10 and my family is already massive as is. So it all came as a bit of a surprise when my aunt messaged me out of the blue in early July to inform me that she had taken it upon herself to reach out to my biological father and not only inform him of my existence (which he already knew about), but also sent him photos of me, along with my phone number. Something I neither wanted nor gave her permission to do. Something I hadn’t even expressed interest in. And after telling her yet again that it was overwhelming, she continued to allow this line of communication to stay open, and brought my mother into the mix.

According to my biological father, he apparently believed both my mom and I were dead. He says my maternal grandmother told him that the two of us had died, and he sunk into a deep depression over it, which has followed him for the past 29 years. Never mind the fact that he was in contact with a couple aunts and uncles over the years and so obviously knew that my grandmother had lied to him (if she ever even did so. We can’t know, as she passed when I was 3), or the availability of the fucking internet and basic Google search. In his own words, my aunt reaching out to him and “informing” him of the existence of his nearly-30 year old daughter “blew his whole world open”. Insert infinity eye roll emojis here.

As you could already tell, I was both upset that my aunt broke my trust in such a huge way, and thoroughly unimpressed by what she was sharing from him. I spoke with my mom about it several times, expressing how much my aunt had hurt me and frustrated me with her actions, and her choosing to take matters into her own hands and speaking for me. That might be the biggest annoyance for me of all, that she for some reason felt compelled to speak on my behalf for something I had no interest in or desire to explore, and took the option of some anonymity from me. My voice is my most important belonging, and having someone deign to speak for me infuriates me. And although my mother listened to me expressing how upset the whole thing made me, I found out a week later that she herself had been in contact with my biological father.

That was a kick to the ribs. She and I had spent years working on and building a relationship of trust and support, after a childhood and early adulthood of never being able to trust her. She was largely absent through a huge portion of my life when I needed her most, and it has taken years for me to build up my trust and faith in her. If you had told me ten years ago that my mother would become my best friend and confidant, I would have laughed my throat raw. But life is funny, and she did. And then she broke that trust in such a painful way, even after hearing how much my aunt’s choice to reach out to my biological father caused a massive rift between us. And Mom chose to create her own. For the first time in years, I didn’t want to speak to or see her or hear from her. I made that clear to her, and kept my distance until I could calm myself enough to speak to her without saying something that could irreparably damage our relationship. I reiterated that I had no interest in knowing my biological father, that I didn’t want to hear from him, and that it was a huge betrayal by her to continue speaking to him and fostering any sense of hope in him that I wished to have anything to do with him. Although things have been tense the last couple weeks, she and I have slowly been working through it.

And then tonight, as I arrived at work, a text from an unknown number popped up. A long text, from my biological father, who chose to ignore what my aunt and mother were supposed to have told him, that I didn’t want to have any contact. He introduced himself and reiterated his story about my maternal grandmother lying to him about Mom and I dying, said he wanted to get to know me and show me all the love he has for me, and that from what he’s heard I’m a lot like him. Things that I have no interest in hearing, don’t take to heart, and don’t feel particularly moved or motivated by. And I’m just. Exhausted.

Exhausted.

I don’t want this connection or half-assed truths or unbearable weight of expectations that have come to land so heavily on my shoulders.

When you sign in to take your DNA test, there is a disclaimer that you might find out information that could be upsetting and lead to more questions than answers. That continuing with the test could cause problems in your family and person life.

They weren’t kidding.

#personal #ramblings #dna test #23andme #ancestrydna #writing #writeblr #writters on tumblr #writtingcommunity

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silencedwhisp-blog · 6 years ago

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Overwhelmed overworked overpaid

I’m on top of the world, sittin’ pretty on a stack

But the static still cracks in my veins

At the bottom of the universe, I’m feelin' all the weight

People die for this

People lie for this

People suck and fuck some guy for this

Pay the toll for this

Sell their soul for this

Play the part but what's my role in this?

I'm not built for this

All the guilt of this

And I don't think I can deal with this

I'm too old for this

Gonna fold from this

People starvin’

And I get gold for this?

You all chalk me up as some whiny fuck who's stressed by success

Like my life sucks

I get it, I know, its such a conundrum

I get what I want but I can’t have much fun with it

It’s not the fame or the money I’m yearnin’

I don’t give a fuck about what I’ve been earnin’

But each day I wake up more blessed than I'm learing'

Out of all these people I’m least to deserve it

I don’t deserve it

I try to be perfect I’ll never be perfect

I’m not worth it

Keep lookin’ for answers I swear I’ve searchin'

But I come up short, and give up quick

‘Cause if I found it I think id be scared of it

You don't see the scene that’s behind the screen

And I urge you all to be aware of it

It’s an interesting dichotomy of monetized sincerity

Stir up my insecurity with constant uncertainty

Generation of anxiety

The “look at me” society

Dubiety of piety

The gods all suffer silently

I’m sorry for my obsession with attention

I have an ungodly fear of rejection

My apprehension and objection is the viral infection

Of dollars and followers in place of affection

What i need is a human connection

Not blue light and a foggy reflection, of my misconception of my own perception

Result of too much introspection

They find my disinterest interesting

My depression, a funny thing

My decline is relatable

People love that I hate myself

Yeah, they love that I hate myself

People love that I hate myself

I climbed out of my head

And watched myself implode

A thought without a body

Ought to be the shot to take a load off

My brain is poisoned

And I’m searching for the antidote

But every time I find it

My defenses scream “oh, no you don’t!”

Woah

But it's fine

No, really I'm fine

It’s just a matter of time

You’ll lose your mind

And not be fine from time to time

I’m not crazy

But I feel crazy all a sudden

In a city never seein’

Snow or rain or leaves in autumn

Lose yourself in seasons

Not remembering that you forgot ‘em

Knocking on my door

Can’t confront ‘em so i lock’em out

But I don’t mind

No, I really don’t mind

Cause believe it or not

It feels good to be forgot

From time to time

So forget me

And please, God, forgive me

If you feel a touched underwhelmed

By all my overwhelming negativity

Who am I and when?

When’s my work day end

And where does me begin?

Are these my colleagues or my friends?

On a scale of ten to one

Do you hate who I’ve become?

��cause I hate who I’ve become

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greenwood106-blog · 2 years ago

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In Sickness And In Health

You want to test your marriage? This will do it...

So when we left off my stroke recovery tale, I was back to consuming real food and was determined that I would overcome this nonsense.

One morning I awoke and was laying there watching reruns when I lifted my right arm. That's right, I actually lifted my right arm and turned my hand. After several moments of disbelief, the tears began flowing again. Aside from my excitement, my emotions surely weren't working normally.

I had realized that one day when I was watching my reruns and a Sarah McLachlan save the abused animals commercial came on. Normally this might make me yawn, or wonder how much money was spent to get her to do this ad, but instead I was bawling. What the hell was this? I'll explain more in a bit.

So, after texting my wife and stopping anyone who was walking by my room to tell them about my arm, I couldn't wait to get to my first therapy session to show off. But like a kid with a new battery operated toy, I used my arm until my battery died, so when I tried to show the therapists what happened, it was underwhelming. Well, it was cool when it worked.

At this point we had gotten to the 3 week point and now it was how much longer was my insurance going to cover my rehab that was the talk each day. As it turned out, they were only willing to do one more week, then I would be discharged.

As excited as I was to be home (6 weeks was a long time to be gone), I was also a little bummed because I didn't feel I was ready to be able to take care of myself.

The therapy staff was really great, and they were excited to see me as i planned to go there for my outpatient therapy. They were also setting me up with my Cadillac chair at home, which would help until I was ready to move more on my own.

As the day got close, it was a mission to get selfies with all the people who had cared for me during my stay there. I would wheel around and get pics with them and thank them for putting up with me for so long.

The day was finally here, and saying goodbye got the tears flowing again. I told myself I couldn't do it, so I stayed in my room, hiding from my heroes, the people I believe saved my life. Well they weren't gonna let me get away that easy, stopping in and triggering the waterworks as I waited for my ride home.

Th van arrived, I said one more goodbye, and headed home to the next chapter.

It was September, so normal people kept the air on in their vehicles. Yet another change for me was I was now cold all the time, a result of blood thinners and the fact that I had lost nearly 100 pounds through this ordeal. When the van reached my house, I was lowered down in my Cadillac chair and I took in the warmth of the sun.

The work that had been done in my house was overwhelming. A friend who was a contractor installed a ramp at the front door so I could get in and out, the room where I used to teach guitar had been converted and a hospital bed and commode were in there, and my bathroom, which had a tub, had been been renovated to have a walk in shower installed.

My wife had coordinated all of this while saying goodbye to her job. Thankfully, our daughters who lived local helped a lot, but what a load to carry. I definitely tested the better or worse vow, and was just getting started.

I was still transferring with a slide board. I hadn't reached the point where I could stand and transfer, and the Cadillac chair wouldn't fit through the bathroom door, so sometimes the process was transfer to the Cadillac chair, the transfer to a regular wheelchair. Getting me on and off the toilet wasn't an option either, so I would transfer to the commode, take care of business, the my wife had to take care of me and the commode.

I was unable to fully bathe unassisted either, so my wife essentially became a caregiver.

I have joked about the Cadillac chair and all its features. One day the sales rep called and told us that our insurance had decided they weren't going to pay for the chair. We were told the list price, and we could've bought a Cadillac. Then we were told if we wanted to buy it, they would sell it to us for the price of a Kia. I was able test my vocabulary and told them to come pick up their damn chair.

This was an important trigger to the next stage of my recovery. I parked the Caddy and was now using the hoopty wheelchair. This was the motivation I needed to try to stand and walk with a walker. It was challenging, but I did it.

The progress continues.....

#stroke #rehab

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aion-rsa · 5 years ago

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Is World of Warcraft: Shadowlands Pre-Patch Friendly to New Players?

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

World of Warcraft‘s Shadowlands expansion may have been delayed until sometime later this year, but the expansion’s pre-patch is already live. While you won’t be able to explore Shadowlands‘ new zones, dungeons, bosses, gear, and other upcoming content as part of this patch, many of Shadowlands‘ core upcoming changes (including changes to the MMO’s leveling structure and classes) are already in the game.

It’s around this time that many people start wondering whether or not this is a good time to return to World of Warcraft or even start playing it for the first time. After all, there’s theoretically no better time to jump into an ongoing game than around the release of a new expansion when even veteran players are navigating new content.

At least that’s the question I found myself asking. As someone who never really played World of Warcraft until I spent hundreds of hours with World of Warcraft: Classic, the idea of jumping into the “Retail” version of the game was as appealing as it was daunting. After all, is it really possible to feel at home in a game that’s been growing and changing for the last 16 years?

To help answer that question, here’s a brief look at some of the key points new players need to know before they consider starting their World of Warcraft adventure with Shadowlands.

Shadowland’s New Starting Zone is Welcome but Underwhelming

Shadowlands introduces a new starting area called Exile’s Reach that is mandatory for new players (which, in this case, means you don’t have a World of Warcraft character at or above level 10 on your account) and optional for veteran players. It’s basically a glorified tutorial area that you’ll stay in until around the time your character reaches level 10.

While it’s nice that World of Warcraft now has a proper tutorial area that offers a (nearly) universal leveling experience for new players, the results leave something to be desired. This area will teach you the bare basics (accepting quests, attacking enemies, managing equipment, etc), but unless you’re entirely in the dark about how World of Warcraft and MMOs work, you may find yourself mindlessly jumping from quest to quest waiting for the real game to start.

Exile’s Reach is a better alternative to the old system (which dropped players into unevenly designed starting areas based on their chosen race) but it may still leave you with unanswered questions regarding the more meaningful basic mechanics of the game and how to really take advantage of the playstyle of your chosen class.

Leveling By Expansion Is an Acceptable Solution to A Bigger World of Warcraft Problem

What happens if you’re past the mandatory requirements for Shadowlands‘ new starting zone? Well, you’ll always have the option of starting a new character at Exile’s Reach, but veteran players are also able to essentially “jump” to any previous WoW expansion and level their characters to 50 by following that expansion’s storyline.

It’s a cute idea, but the execution is a bit of a mixed bag. You’ll never really be able to truly recreate the process of leveling through each of these expansions (unless Blizzard releases “Classic” versions of each of them), so this option seemingly just exists to offer a little variety to veteran players leveling their character alts as well as a way for new players to experience the basic lore of old content.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

So far as that goes, this mechanic really works best as a novelty implemented for variety’s sake. Not only would it take quite a while for new players to go through every previous expansion just to experience the lore, but the truncated versions of those leveling processes means that you’re still probably better off reading/listening to an explainer if you want an overview of what’s happening. This change doesn’t really address the problem of new players feeling like they’ve missed out on 16 years worth of content updates and storylines. Besides, those looking to level an alt character will likely stick to the newer expansions which offer much quicker leveling experiences.

Shadowland’s Level Squish Makes Leveling Much More Enjoyable

While it’s easy to assume that Shadowlands offers less leveling content now that the level cap has been reduced from 120 to 50 (soon to be 60 with the full release of Shadowlands), the opposite quickly proves to be true.

This new system ensures that reaching new levels in Shadowlands feels more meaningful. There are still some levels in the game that don’t reward you with anything more exciting than a passive ability or a skill that you’ll almost never use, this new leveling system at least sustains the illusion of role-playing progress.

That being said, it’s entirely possible that new players will feel a little overwhelmed by the number of new skills they acquire throughout the course of this revamped leveling process. After all, Blizzard revived a lot of the skills and talents from the previous World of Warcraft expansions and incorporated them into the streamlined leveling process, so you actually end up with quite a few mechanics to manage. The good news is that “problem” is addressed somewhat by the next point we should discuss…

Reaching The Level Cap Really is Faster Than Ever

For the purposes of discussion, let’s say that first time players will go from 1-50 in the Shadowlands pre-patch in about 24 in-game hours. That number is going to vary wildly from player to player, but somewhere around that mark seems to be the average.

Honestly, that’s not bad when you consider that the average journey from 1-60 in WoW Classic typically sets you back closer to 100 hours. More importantly, the game’s relatively quick leveling time makes it clearer than ever before that modern WoW is really all about the end-game. That means that new players shouldn’t necessarily fret over whether or not they feel like they’ve mastered their character by the time they reach the max level. The reduced leveling time also means that it’s easier than ever to level multiple characters to 50 (and eventually 60), which is great for those who want to explore different classes and find what works for them.

It’s entirely understandable if you miss the slower journey of the old leveling process and the adventures you have en route to the level cap, but so far as accomodating new players go, the much-improved leveling speed is a welcome addition.

Solo Play is Easy but Limits the “Massively Multiplayer” Aspects of Shadowlands

Aside from the new starting zone, one of the most noteworthy accommodations the Shadowlands pre-patch makes for new players is a “Newcomer Chat” system in which new players can talk amongst themselves and even ask approved veteran guides for help.

It’s a neat idea that works well enough if you just want a basic answer to a simple question, but generally speaking, the community aspects of WoW’s early game still feel weak. You can fairly easily solo your way to the level cap, which means that you probably won’t find yourself really needing to work with other players until you get into raiding and other, deeper forms of end-game content.

I wish I could tell you what the perfect solution to this problem is, but at the moment, World of Warcraft suffers from the fact that not all max level players are made equally. Some have been playing the game for 16 years and others just started. The idea is to find a group of players that match (or accommodate) your experience, but because the game doesn’t really encourage social play until the end game, learning to find and work with other players feels more complicated than it did in the early days of WoW Classic when social play was spread more evenly throughout. Hopefully, the early days of Shadowlands‘ full release will encourage people to group up and solve early challenges together.

Overall, it’s clear that Blizzard crafted Shadowlands with the new player experience in mind. You won’t have a hard time jumping into the game at this point, but whether or not you decide to stick with it is really going to come down to the strength of Shadowlands‘ proper debut and how much you enjoy the World of Warcraft experience once you’ve hit that level cap.

The post Is World of Warcraft: Shadowlands Pre-Patch Friendly to New Players? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2TaFUVY

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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theantisocialcritic · 5 years ago

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Archive Project - December 1, 2013 - Hunger Games and Catching Fire Reviews

The Hunger Games, 2012 Directed by Gary Ross 142 Minutes Official Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMGRhAEn6K0 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, 2013 Directed by Francis Lawrence 146 Minutes Official Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keT5CRhhy84 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The HarryPotter movies stand as probably the most successful series of novel adaptionsof all time. As such, in the post-HarryPotter world every Hollywood company now wants to try and get the rights tobook adaptions that could potentially make a lot of money. Of all theattempts I have seen in the past few years none have been quite as noble as TheHunger Games adaptions (unless my memory is lapsing really hard right now). Havingnow seen Catching Fire I am excited to see where the series goes. That beingsaid, I have not, and do not plan to, read the novels anytime soon. I’m judgingthese as movies separate from their source material. Lets getstarted… ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE HUNGER GAMES ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The storyof The Hunger Games, goes something like this, in a dystopian future where theworld has been devastated by war, the remaining people are rounded up intotwelve districts where they are forced to perform slave labor to maintain TheCapital, a powerful urban center that prides itself on it’s own exquisitelifestyle. To keep the districts in check a yearly tournament is held known asThe Hunger Games in which twenty-four children are forced into an arena to afight to the death with only one survivor. Two children are chosen randomlyfrom each district from a jar filled with tickets from bread lines prevalentthroughout the district. The more food children take from the government, themore likely they are to end up in the Games. The themes presented in the storyshow a critique of modern society; the division between the rich and poor, themedia and the objectification of women. I can honestly say that my favoriteelement of the original Hunger Games was the main character of Katniss herself.Not only is she a brilliant role model for young girls reading the novels andwatching the movies (as apposed to Bella), but also she’s a well-written anddynamic character. She’s smart and strong but also scared and overwhelmed byher circumstances. She provides for her family in the place of her parents andrisks her life to protect the ones she loves. I also like how her character isnever “dependent on the guy”. In factmost of the movie is spent with her working together with or even defendingother characters as opposed to merely relying on the male lead to save her allthe time. Unfortunately, Katniss’ depth andstrength as a character aren’t reflected in her supporting cast with only a fewexceptions. While characters like Pita and Haymitch get plenty of screen-time,her family and most of her opponents in the games don’t receive more than a minuteof screen-time. I remember thinking during all of the scenes depicting theother fighters that what tiny bits of personality we are seeing could have beenmuch better payoff if they had been established and given screen-time butinstead all we are shown are one-note characters that die immediately. This isprobably reflective of bad script writing, as it a bit of a weak point for thefilm. Despite its rich source material,much of the story itself feels reluctant to explain the world around it, leavingaudience members in the dark. It does attempt to remedy this through expositionbut is accomplished by bluntly explaining directly to the audience concepts inthe movie; most notably in the “Tracker Jacker” scene in which they have toexplain why it’s a bad idea to get stung by killer bees. The bad screen writing is alsoevident in the pacing. The Hunger Games feels really slow at times and it tendsto drag its heels a lot during the second act. A lot of what happens isn’t verymemorable either. I totally forgot the majority of what happened in this filmsince the last time I saw it. And now, the film’s greatest andmost immediately notable issue, THE CINEMATOGRAPHY. It feels like the directorof photography for this movie was Jason Bourne on a caffeine trip. In actionscenes the use of shaky-cam is obnoxious. Maybe the point was the obscure theviolence to lower the movie’s rating so it could be shown to kids, but that isa horrible reason to promote bad filmmaking. I’d also like to point out thatKatniss never directly murders anyone in the film with her primary weapon untilan hour and a half into the movie. I find this to be a major issue. The sounddesign is… surprisingly good. It gets the job done. I don’t have much else tosay about it. Despite myranting, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that The Hunger Games is a bad film. Itisn’t. It has its strengths and it’s weaknesses but I could recommend it toanybody as something decent to watch. Anybody who has read the books wouldprobably love this movie and it does a good job to set up the opening act toits trilogy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CATCHING FIRE ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Set a yearafter the first movie, Catching Fire depicts the aftermath of the events of themovie. Without spoiling the first one, the events of the first movie have begunto spark revolution in the eyes of the districts. To suppress the districts andreinforce their power, The Capital sets a plan to replace the normal pool ofcandidates and choose exclusively from survivors of previous Hunger Games. If a personwere to sit down and create a list of all of the problems with the originalmovie that needed to be fixed for the sequel, and then went on to do them,Catching Fire is the movie you would end up with. The result is a significantimprovement from the first film. In a lot ofways, Catching Fire is a repeat of the first film. The same basic premise iscopied over. Katniss is trying to live her life in bad circumstances when sheis sucked into The Hunger Games and her life becomes entangled into thedelicate political workings of The Capital. Same premise, but havingestablished the characters in the first movie, this one takes the liberty ofusing the first two acts for world building and further character development. Unlikethe first, the audience is actually shown the other eleven districts and TheCapital. We are given a taste of theirworld and each group of people’s way of life. All of the elements from theoriginal film that worked well are brought back and strengthened. Katniss has all of her personalityfrom the first movie but is changed and damaged from having to participate inthe Hunger Games and having had her life completely dominated by The Capitalsmedia coverage. Katniss’ supporting cast is morefleshed out, The President of the Capital is given a greater role and we beginto see more of why he supports the Hunger Games. The other opponents are givenfleshed out personalities that are established in the second act of the movieand are given significant screen time (downside being most of them die offscreen anyway). The story has less blunt expositionand shows the audience a lot more. Plus the pacing is much better. I didn’tfeel bored watching Catching Fire unlike the original. And of course, the cinematographyin this one is significantly improved. No-more shaky camera! In Catching Fire,all of the action scenes are shown by keeping the camera in place and lettingthe content of the scene provide tension and it works really well. All the positive ranting aside, thestory still has a few issues. There several convenient plot moments in whichthings that happen wouldn’t happen logically in real life, these likely beingsubject to the adaption and not flowing very well in the movie. The movie also ends on a severecliffhanger that teases Mocking-jay Part 1 (November 2014) which I am nowexcited to see. While I’ve heard a lot of people complain about thecliffhanger, it honestly didn’t bother me all that much. It might be that I’mjust not as invested in this series as some people but the movie itself ended ona note that felt satisfying, if even a bit teasing but I can overlook that. I’d go as far as to say thatCatching Fire is a good movie. Not a great one, not even mediocre. It is good,it fixes the problems with its predecessor and for that I find it very enjoyable. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUMMARY ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Overall, as The Hunger Games,Four-Part Trilogy, continues I find myself getting more drawn into the universeit offers. While a bit preachy at times, I find that the story it offers andthe well-written character of Katniss make it stand out from a lot of bookadaption movies. If nothing else, in the Post-Harry Potter world it is nice tosee another series finally start to reach the level of critical success it hasattained that actually deserves it. I’m brave enough to admit that alot of major adaptions that have come out lately just haven’t worked that well.Twilight suffers from sub-par source material, Percy Jackson movies feel derivativeand underwhelming and Enders Game was surrounded by mediocrity and controversysurrounding its writer. I recommend The Hunger Games andCatching Fire! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Hunger Games is available on DVD, Blu-Ray and digital download. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is now in theaters. Thank you for reading! Live long and prospers! 1Nicole Marie1 ShareLikeCommentShare

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oliverphisher · 5 years ago

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Will Kostakis

Will Kostakis is a writer of all things, from celebrity news stories that score cease and desist letters, to tweets for professional wrestlers. That said, he’s best known for his award-winning YA novels. His first novel, Loathing Lola, was released when he was just nineteen. His second, The First Third, won the 2014 Gold Inky Award. It was also shortlisted for the Children’s Book Council of Australia Book of the Year and Australian Prime Minister’s Literary awards, among others. The Sidekicks was his third novel for young adults, and his American debut. It went on the win the IBBY Australia Ena Noel Award.

The First Third By Will Kostakis Buy on Amazon

As a high school student, Will won Sydney Morning Herald Young Writer of the Year for a collection of short stories. He has since contributed to numerous anthologies, including Begin, End, Begin: A #LoveOzYA Anthology.

What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

The Whole Business with Kiffo & the Pitbull By Barry Jonsberg

The Whole Business With Kiffo And The Pitbull by Barry Jonsberg. I read this when I was in high school. The voice was so authentic I thought an Australian teenager was talking directly to me. I knew that if I was going to be a YA author, I wanted to write a book like it.

Notes from the Teenage Underground By Simmone Howell

Notes From The Teenage Underground by Simmone Howell. After first meeting my publisher, I was given a stack of books to read. This was one of them. From the first page, I knew I was going to be a life-long fan of Simmone's writing. She gets straight to the point, and her prose is so sharp it cuts to the truth of everything.

Witches Abroad (Discworld) By Terry Pratchett

Any Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett featuring the witches. I've read Pratchett since I was 12, and he is the benchmark. If I become half the writer he was, then I'll be content with a life well spent.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?

A subscription to Audible (which might add up to more than $100 over 6 months, but if I ignore my credit card statement, it doesn't). The time I used to waste listening to political podcasts is now spent immersing myself in worlds that inspire me to create.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

My first book underwhelmed commercially, and after it disappeared from store shelves within months, I set out on the road with a box of books to connect with prospective readers myself. It was a baptism by fire, but I came out the end of it with so many skills that still help me to this day.

Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?

Julia Cameron's concept of "filling the well" (via YA author Dhonielle Clayton) is something that I've come to live by recently as I try to write more often:Art is an image-using system. In order to create, we draw from our inner well. This inner well, an artistic reservoir, is ideally like a well-stocked trout pond. We've got big fish, little fish, fat fish, skinny fish-- an abundance of artistic fish to fry. As artists, we must realize that we have to maintain this artistic ecosystem.If we don't give some attention to upkeep, our well is apt to become depleted, stagnant, or blocked. Any extended period of piece of work draws heavily on our artistic well. As artists we must learn to be self-nourishing. We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them-- to restock the trout pond, so to speak. I call this process filling the well. (https://ift.tt/3hq6Meg)

What is one of the best investment in a writing resource you’ve ever made?

Nothing beats the trusty pen and pad that I keep in my bag. Sure, sending emails to yourself from your phone is a great way to jot ideas down anywhere, anytime, but nothing beats what I produce when writing by hand. It sounds weird, but my brain just works differently when I do.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

My unusual habit is, when I don't feel like I understand my character well enough, I record audio with my phone and waltz around the apartment, talking in character about my wants. I discard 90 per cent of it, but I almost always discover something about them.

In the last five years, what new belief, behaviour, or habit has most improved your life?

One new belief: 'Your prose doesn't have to be perfect, it has to connect.' Sometimes, a grammatically perfect sentence isn't what you need.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven aspiring author? What advice should they ignore?

As somebody who was intent on publication at 12, driven to send novels to publishers way before I was ready, I would tell them to wait. I know the desire to be an author can feel all-consuming, but having the desire doesn't mean you're ready. I wasn't ready when I signed a book deal at 17, I wasn't ready when that book was released when I was 19, and it showed in my work, I think. Take the time to find your voice and what you want to use it for. Achieving your dream sooner isn't necessarily better.

They should ignore any advice that doesn't work for them. The wonderful and frustrating thing about creative writing advice is, what works for one person might not work for another. Accept every piece of advice, trial it, but if it doesn't work for you, it's okay to discard it.

What are bad recommendations for aspiring authors, that you hear in your often?

It isn't really a bad recommendation but ... there's an entire industry built around aspiring authors. Just know that you don't need to pay to get published. You don't pay a publisher to consider or publish your work. You don't need to have your work professionally edited before you submit. Join a critique group! Swap manuscripts with a friend! Read a lot! Download free podcasts! You. Don't. Need. To. Pay. To. Be. Qualified. To. Create. Art.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)?

Unpaid labour in all its forms. I am still open to providing my services for free for deserving causes, and I still do, but there's nothing like having to pay rent in Sydney to force you to stop seeing payment in exposure as anything other than exploitation.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

"Buy my book, buy my book, buy my book!" on social media. It doesn't work. Never has. Use social media to connect with your readers personally. The hard sell is irritating. If you don't like it when someone does it to you, don't do it to others.

What new approach helped you achieve your goals?

Setting realistic goals. No longer setting the massive "write 2000 words today" and then feeling disappointed. Aiming to write 300 and being satisfied and inspired to write more ... usually results in writing more.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

Whenever I'm blocked creatively, even if under an intense deadline, I walk away and go do something (usually gym or play Pokemon Go), something that forces me to have some distance from my work, so when I return, I'm better able to tackle the problem.

Any other tips?

Read! Read! Read! Read! Be an active member of the literary community. Go to book launches. Listen to authors speak. Read! Read! Read! Read! Recommend books to others. Buy books for others. Fill your well!

________

Enjoyed this Q&A? Want to discuss in more depth? Join Community Writers. You'll get access to 100+ exclusive writing tips. Q&As with successful authors, an exclusive ebook on building an audience and much more. Sign-up for free as a community writer here

source https://www.thecommunitywriter.com/blog/will-kostakis

#Writing WriteMotivation WritingAdvice

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meetawaisnow · 5 years ago

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One Funnel Away Challenge Review

Building a sales funnel is essential for any online business.

A simple sales funnel using ClickFunnels helped boost my book sales by 150%. And my results are modest compared to thousands of other ClickFunnels users.

But if you’re new to online selling or have never built a sales funnel before, getting started can be overwhelming.

Where do you begin?

One year ago I was a complete newbie to sales funnels. So I signed up to the One Funnel Away Challenge, which is the flagship training guide to ClickFunnels created by its founder Russell Bruson.

In my ultimate in-depth One Funnel Away Challenge review, I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about this popular training program based on my personal experience of taking it.

I’m going to:

Give you a comprehensive overview of the challenge.

Show you step by step how it helped me sell more of my books through my website.

Outline the pros and cons of signing up.

My One Funnel Away Challenge review is perfect for anyone completely new to sales funnels who wants a no-nonsense introduction to this popular training program.

This is the article I wish I could have read when I was weighing up whether to sign up to this program.

Let’s get started.

What is the One Funnel Away Challenge?

The One Funnel Away (OFA) Challenge is a virtual 30-day program that will guide you every step of the way in creating a highly profitable sales funnel.

I took the challenge myself (more on that below) when I was just starting out with sales funnels.

Russell Brunson, Stephen Larsen and Julie Stoian are the instructors. Via video lessons, they will be teaching you everything they’ve learned in developing multiple million-dollar sales funnels.

Each day, they break down complex topics and give you missions (similar to homework) that you need to complete to get to the next step.

People retain 90% of what they learn when they put it into immediate practice, so when you complete the daily missions, you’re solidifying your knowledge.

But don’t worry, the daily missions set by Russell aren’t too difficult to complete; however, they are designed to make you stretch your limits and think outside the box.

After the end of the 30 days, you’ll be ready to release your first (or next) funnel to the world.

Who is this challenge for?

But is the One Funnel Away Challenge for you? I definitely don’t think this challenge is for everybody.

The challenge is a highly fast-paced challenge that demands your time and attention for 30 days.

The challenge is perfect for you if you:

Have an idea for an online business but don’t quite know how to get your products/services out there

Have hit a wall with your business and need a structured game plan to reach the next level

Are an affiliate marketer who wants to increase sales

Have never built a funnel but want to learn how

Need to fix an existing funnel.

However, the challenge is probably not for people who:

Don’t have the time to watch the vidoes and work through the missions

Want a “get rich quick” business strategy

Want a training that they can set aside for weeks at a time

Don’t believe in investing money into their own business (this challenge is not free and we’ll talk about the price later on)

Think their sales funnels are perfect and don’t want tough-love to learn and grow

If you fall into any of the above, you’ll probably want to stop reading my One Funnel Away Challenge review as the challenge likely isn’t for you.

Check Out The One Funnel Away Challenge

How the One Funnel Away Challenge helped me

I don’t like blowing my own trumpet about making money online.

There’s plenty of online marketers out there who are much more enthusiastic about doing that than I am.

However, it’s going to be helpful to give you a step-by-step overview of exactly this training program helped me.

It will give context to everything I talk about in this One Funnel Away Challenge review.

So here’s a brief rundown of my story.

Before I discovered the One Funnel Away Challenge program, I was a blogger who wasn’t making a lot of money. If you’re a blogger too, or know one, then you’ll know I was hardly Robinson Crusoe in this regard.

The thing is I’m a decent writer who knew how to get a lot of traffic to my website. Unfortunately, I was terrible at actually making money from what I was writing about.

Here is my organic traffic for the 2019 calendar year:

As you can see, by August I was getting 60,000+ unique visitors a day to my website from search. That’s not bad.

When I first started blogging 5 years ago I thought I would be rolling in cash if I ever achieved this level of traffic. While I was earning decent money from Adsense and a few other things, I definitely wasn’t taking any holidays in The Hamptons.

I knew something had to change.

And one thing I needed to do was sell more of my eBooks.

Selling eBooks is one way my website makes money. It’s not my main focus but it’s still something I wanted to get right.

In 2018 I churned out 7 eBooks on topics ranging from Buddhism, to mindfulness, to taking responsibility for your life. The books were good but my sales were underwhelming.

I started using Shopify to sell these books. Shopify may be a great e-commerce platform but it’s poorly equipped to help people sell their eBooks. I found the sales pages to be ugly and the functionality poor.

My biggest mistake, however, was that I didn’t have a sales funnel of any kind.

I had heard great things about sales funnels and ClickFunnels more generally. However, I had no idea how to actually create one (literally none). So starting my first funnel was more than a little daunting…

That’s why I dived into the One Funnel Away Challenge. I knew I needed some hands on training in order to create some highly profitable sales funnels.

The One Funnel Away Challenge taught me step-by-step how to create the perfect sales funnel for the products I was selling. It was the launching pad for increasing my book sales by 150% practically overnight.

Here’s exactly how I did it.

Increasing my eBook sales by 150%

Almost one year since switching over to ClickFunnels, my eBook sales have increased by 150%.

I went from selling $120 of eBooks a day on average using Shopify to $300 with ClickFunnels.

The traffic I sent to the sales pages hasn’t increased meaningfully. The key is that I’m converting much better and my average order value has increased from $11 to $19.

Not a bad boost to something that’s only a side hustle for my business.

A look inside my sales funnel

I chose the 2-Step TripWire after learning about it in the One Funnel Away Challenge.

It’s a pretty simple funnel and perfectly suited to the eBooks I had to sell.

The key to this funnel is to offer an irresistible upsell.

A single eBook of mine costs $9. After they purchase this, they are taken to my high-priced 1-click upsell. If they don’t buy my upsell they are then offered a lower priced 1-click downsell.

My 1-click upsell is a bundle of all 7 of my eBooks for $25. The 1-click downsell is 2 eBooks that are closely related to the single eBook they initially purchased for $8.

The 1-click aspect of this is important. As I have already collected their credit card information from the single eBook purchase, they add the upsell or downsell to their cart with only one click. No need to ask them for their credit card information again.

So the 6 steps of my funnels are:

Sales page

Order form

Upsell

Downsell

Order confirmation

Delivery of eBooks

Here is my upsell:

And this is my downsell:

Instead of only being able to generate $9 per transaction from each customer for a single eBook, I now earn up to $34 transaction in one transaction.

This is how the One Funnel Away Challenge helped me.

Clearly the funnels you design after taking this challenge will likely be very different to what I did. A sales funnel can mean very different things depending on the type of business you are in.

The best part is that the One Funnel Away Challenge will help you design just about any type of sales funnel you can imagine.

Why should you care about funnels?

Before I get into the meat and potatoes of the One Funnel Away Challenge program, I want to explain the importance of funnels.

Without understanding why funnels are fundamental to your business, you won’t understand why the knowledge shared in the OFA Challenge is so valuable.

If you’re new to online selling, you won’t want to skip this part.

Simply put, a sales funnel is the journey that guides your customer towards your offer, whether that’s a product, service or an affiliate sale.

When your funnel is structured properly, it acts as a salesperson who holds the hand of your prospects, shows them the way and encourages them to purchase from you.

We take part in multiple sales funnels every day, from buying our morning coffee to getting groceries to shopping online for items we’re interested in.

As a savvy business owner, you should know how to optimize your funnels to get more clicks, leads, and ultimately, sales.

Unfortunately, sales funnels can be complicated, and if you don’t know what a proper funnel looks like, it could end up doing more harm than good.

A poorly-designed funnel will leak out prospects along the way, leaving you with low conversion rates and frustrated customers.

On the other hand, a well-thought-out funnel is the secret sauce to scaling your business.

The One Funnel Away Challenge is going to take you by the hand and teach you absolutely everything you need to know to create high-converting sales funnels for your business.

Sound good? Let’s dive right in to the program.

Check Out The One Funnel Away Challenge

What you get with the One Funnel Away Challenge

The One Funnel Away Challenge is a robust system designed to set you up for making more money online.

When you enroll in it, you’ll receive a box delivered to your door filled to the brim with materials and resources (that’s if you choose to pay for shipping, otherwise everything is online).

Here’s what you’ll get.

30 Days of Mission Videos from Russell Brunson

Russell Brunson, the founder of ClickFunnels, started his own $360 million SaaS business, entirely self-funded.

He’s a best-selling author who has sold over 250,000 books and has a following of millions of entrepreneurs.

Quite honestly, he’s someone you want to be taking advice from.

For 30 days, you’re going to be getting various missions from Russell that will simplify the funnel-building process.

One Funnel Away Challenge bonuses

The above training videos and accountability calls are worth more than $2,000 when offered individually, and quite frankly, they are all you really need to create your funnel.

But like any good salesman, Russel Brunson also throws in a bunch of bonuses to make signing up to the challenge even more compelling.

Here are the One Funnel Away Challenge bonuses you’ll get thrown in immediately after you enroll.

Physical copy of the workbook

Studies show that writing your notes pen to paper will help you remember what you’re learning better than taking digital notes.

You can use your physical workbook to take notes and help retain everything you are learning.

30 Days hardcover book

Russell asked 30 members of his Two Comma Club (ClickFunnel members who have earned more than $1 million from their sales funnels) this question:

“what would you do if you lost everything, including your name, reputation, and followers? How would you earn back your millions in only 30 days?”

In other words, he asked his Two Comma Club members to lay out a day-by-day plan for those who are just getting started, so they can reach $1 million in sales.

Their answers were collected and put into a hardcover book.

It’s like having 30 different blueprints to build out a million-dollar funnel all in one place.

This bonus alone is awesome.

MP3 Player with all the recordings

If fitting one hour of additional work into your day will be an obstacle, you can use the MP3 player to listen to the recordings wherever and whenever to make it a bit easier.

The recordings will also include Stephen’s coaching calls from the last challenge.

In total, you’ll have over 40 hours of coaching calls and interviews on your MP3 that you can conveniently listen to anywhere.

Unlimited access to 30 Day interviews

During the 30 day challenge, you’re going to be busy completing missions and building out your own high-converting funnel.

The interviews included in this bonus are filled with helpful tidbits, but if you don’t find the time to watch through them all during the 30 days, you can go back and watch them afterwards as you’ll have unlimited access.

Interviews with the Two Comma Club

In these interviews, 30 Two Comma Club members will discuss what mistakes they made along the way (so you can avoid them) and what they did right (so you can replicate their success).

They don’t hold back, and these interviews are exclusive to the OFA Challenge members only.

Check Out The One Funnel Away Challenge

What you’ll learn

Here’s an overview of what you’ll learn across the 5 weeks of the One Funnel Away challenge:

Pre-challenge week — All about getting in the right mindset to propel your business forward.

Week 1 — Learn the basics of how to sell online, including how to get the attention of customers with a hook, the importance of storytelling, and what it takes to build an attractive offer.

Week 2 — All about sales copy. This is the week I enjoyed the most as it’s completely relevant to selling books. I learned exactly how to implement the hooks, tell a story that generates an emotional reaction from the reader, and how to generate the “aha” moment in the minds of my audience about the new opportunity.

Week 3 — The nuts and bolts of building your sales funnel. This is the practical advice I wouldn’t have been able to find anywhere else. I learnt how to create sales pages, sequence pages, One Time Offers (OTOs), etc.

Week 4 — Focuses on traffic and promotion. Although I’m an SEO guy who swears by organic traffic, it was still fascinating to learn about all the paid traffic opportunities out there.

I probably learned hundreds of practical things across the 5 weeks. However, two things stand out as being absolute gamer changers for me:

Exactly how to tell a story for the product I was selling. As Russell Branson explains in the first few weeks, there’s a template for telling stories that builds belief, emotion, and trust that could apply for any product. My sales pages are so much better now for having learnt this.

Actually creating the funnel. By the end of the challenge, I knew everything about designing a high-converting sales funnel, and how to build it within ClickFunnels. I learnt how to build a sales page, squeeze page, an upsell page, etc, and the correct sequence depending on the product.

Now, a lot of people say you need to read or listen to everything the 3 instructors give you (in order) and complete all the homework assignments without fail. I think they’re overstating how rigid the program is.

You do need to put in more work than the average online marketing course but I skimmed over a few things that were less relevant to my business and was laser-focused on the things that really mattered to me.

I think a bit of cherry picking works fine with this program.

Benefits of joining the One Funnel Away Challenge

On top of receiving thousands of dollars of materials that you won’t be able to find elsewhere, there are a few other pros to the OFA Challenge I want to highlight.

Joining the One Funnel Away Challenge will open many doors for you, including the chance to get to know some of the best online marketers there are (Russell, Julie and Stephen).

You’ll also be able to interact with other challenge members, many of whom are great people to network with and get to know.

Cons of the One Funnel Away Challenge

When I say this course is fast-paced, I mean it. You don’t have the option to work through things slowly and haphazardly.

If you choose to take time off, you will fall behind.

Now, I wasn’t the most diligent student when it came to this challenge, but I still forced myself to put some time aside most days to learn something new from this course.

But is 30 days of hard work worth the potential of creating extremely valuable sales funnels?

It was for me.

Frequently Asked Questions about the One Funnel Away Challenge

How much does it cost?

The One Funnel Away Challenge costs $100. If you want the physical kit, you’ll have to pay shipping of $19.95 within the US and $29.95 outside the US. However, you can just access the digital only version of the challenge which has no shipping cost.

Is it worth the cost?

So, your total investment to join the One Funnel Away Challenge is $100.

That’s not pocket change but it’s a pretty small cost in comparison to what you’ll learn. By the end of the program, you’ll make that money back within a day with your new and improved funnels.

I certainly did on the very first day I launched my sales funnel.

And to put the $100 into further perspective, Russell Brunson currently charges $100,000 to sit down with clients for only one day of coaching. And that’s not including Julie’s and Stephen’s rates for coaching.

But with the OFA Challenge, you have 30 days of coaching with three world-class marketers for a fraction of the price.

Do you need a ClickFunnels membership?

The beauty with this challenge is that you don’t necessarily need any additional software or add-ons to complete the work or learn from the information provided.

But in the name of transparency, I will say this: ClickFunnels does make the funnel-building process so much easier. After joining the challenge, you might find yourself interested in signing up for ClickFunnels yourself.

And by week 3 in the challenge when you start building your own funnels, having a ClickFunnels account will definitely help.

However, building out a sales funnel can be done in a variety of different ways:

Through your website

From your email marketing software

From other funnel building software.

So, if you want to take the challenge but don’t want to sign up with ClickFunnels, no worries. You’ll still benefit from everything the course has to offer.

You can read my complete review of the ClickFunnels platform here.

Why can’t I just learn everything online for free?

You can absolutely learn about funnels and direct response marketing online for free.

In fact, I’ve learnt most of the things I know about blogging and online marketing from free resources on the internet. Yet I didn’t hesitate to sign up to the One Funnel Away Challenge myself.

Here’s why.

First, when you Google “sales funnels for beginners,” nearly 55 million results show.

And from all those resources, many are outdated and inaccurate.

Also, imagine how much time it will take to piece together all that information by yourself.

6 months?

1 year?

You need to ask yourself how much your time is worth. If you have months (or years) to try and master sales funnels on your own and you’re in no rush to drive your business forward, perhaps learning by yourself is the route you’d like to take.

Not only that, but you’ll also likely make mistakes along the way, costing you sales and future customers.

When you think about it from that perspective, $100 really isn’t that steep of an investment if it’s going to prevent wasted time and lost sales.

If you want to figure out sales funnels within 30 days, the One Funnel Away Challenge is your answer.

Secondly, free courses have notoriously low completion rates. 85% of people who enroll in free programs and courses never finish them.

And I know what you’re thinking: “but I’m different, I’d actually complete the course!” But honestly speaking, when you have your own skin in the game (such as money invested), you’re more likely to go through the material and learn the content.

Can I join the challenge at any time?

Unfortunately, you cannot join the challenge at any time.

Because this challenge is so hands-on, Russell, Julie and Stephen need to work it around their schedules to give you personalized attention.

It’s open right now, but there are no guarantees that it will open back up again (Russell doesn’t have a date for the next challenge and hasn’t specified if there will even be one).

My One Funnel Away Challenge review verdict

The One Funnel Away Challenge has been getting a lot of buzz with entrepreneurs and online business owners recently.

I’m pretty skeptical about online courses, especially those to do with internet marketing. And Russell Brunson from ClickFunnels is the ultimate salesman. The shiny sales page for the One Funnel Away Challenge is testament to that.

The simple truth is though that the One Funnel Away Challenge delivers real value to those prepared to commit to the 30-day training program.

I had hit a brick wall selling my eBooks before I signed up to the challenge. Immediately after launching my first sales funnel through ClickFunnels, I increased my book sales by 150%.

If you can commit to doing a bit of work every day for 30 days, the One Funnel Away Challenge will help you make a lot more money online.

Check Out The One Funnel Away Challenge

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lostinruans · 7 years ago

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Weak Week for Faith

This week has been quite random and wild. Emotionally I was all over the place, except the only places I had not been happy, joyful, content, or even still. I had felt dead, emotionless, depressed, angry, sad, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, stressed. I had days where everything irked. There were days where I wanted to stop caring. There were days where I cared too much.

There was not much, in terms of school work or job work (rip: still unemployed). So a lot of time was dedicated to thinking. Much time also consisted of brain-deadness and lack of thinking and cognitive action. I felt and thought nothing in these times, and simply existed and drifted along the flows of time and life. But otherwise, I thought a lot. When I think, I overthink. I overreact. I over imagine skewed world full of worst case scenarios. I think of past moments that haunt me and deprive me of living now to the fullest. I think of present circumstances that make me envious of those who live better, fuller, easier, and stronger; I think of what I don’t have and I cringe at my own being. I think of future strings of events that could happen as a result of my bitterness, selfishness, my sin. And things are rarely bright. Things are anxious. Things are nervous. Things are uncertain. Things are frightening.

And something most frightening and selfish and uncertain had come into imagination and speculation. Perhaps it is a sign of my weak, illegitimate faith. Perhaps I am not trying or trying enough. Perhaps my give-up tendancy is getting me. Perhaps Satan is trying to hold me. But my imagination has written: if I find myself in the future alone, then I may leave the church to at least live normally. So let me explain.

I love some people in the church. Some of my closest mentors and friends are from church. But a lot of the times, especially recently, it has just been hard being “Christian” or being at church. It has been hard being joyful when others are. It has been hard belonging when others belonged. It has been hard to feel things other than guilt, sorrow, disgust, and brokenness in myself at and with the church. It’s been hard to accept love and grace with my bitter, hardened heart. It has been painful knowing that things just can’t or shouldn’t be and that some pieces of my life cannot be accceptable. The hardest part is that some of those I love cannot be there for me because they cannot understand or empathize or see exceptions.

Like what am I supposed to say. My apologies that I can’t be like you. My apologies for having a weak heart for faith and a strong desire for the world. My apologies for being who I am. I’d never want to change myself because I’ve lived, to some extent, like myself for so long. If I wanted change, I’d want God to had given me normalcy in the beginning so that these desires and demons chewing on my being would be naught. And I feel like there’s such a strong sense that I cannot exist with the church without sacrifice. And yeah, God sacrificed His only Son for us, but I cannot be God. I cannot be Job who lost all and still knew God and Gods omni-personality. I cannot be Christ and give up my life for Glory and the Gospel.

Perhaps this is a proof of my weak faith. Perhaps it is a testament of my impatience. Perhaps this is the epitome of my sin. But I just am theorizing... That I may leave the church and faith behind because I find discomfort, depression, and dissociation in it. TBH I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS IN THE FORM OF TYPING. But it’s just hard. And of course, many things in life are hard and must be dealt with. But I think my suffering as a Christian can be hard and will eventually be unbearable and lead to me questioning the worthiness of faith and myself. And IDK TBH. IT’S JUST A YIKES YOIKES KINDA WEEK. MY FEELS ARE EVERYWHERE. BUT IDK. CHURCH GETS ME SHOOK AND SOMETIMES ITS A SADDENING SHOOK. AND IDK. JUST TRYING TO ARTICULATE. AND AT LEAST CLOUT IT OUT.. FOR NOW. IDK. MUCH SAD. MUCH FIRST WORLD PROBLEM. YIKES.

YIKES

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tylerbiard · 8 years ago

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Facebook -- TMI

I never got into Facebook when it was new and trendy, circa 2007. I didn’t have a need for it. I just watched from the sidelines as my peers slowly migrated from Nexopia (which I also didn’t use) to it. It wasn’t until after high school that I could’ve seen a use for it, but by that time, Facebook had already peaked in (youth) popularity, and I was increasingly aware of its more negative aspects, especially as someone who even then was critical of increased proliferation of texting and social media. I didn’t want to become addicted to it, I didn’t want to play Farmville, and as a photographer, I didn’t like how Facebook keeps the right to use your images for whatever purpose they so desire (which isn’t unique to Facebook).

I would regularly get asked about why I didn’t have Facebook, which was increasingly obnoxious, and I knew there were certain social aspects that I was missing out on, so I caved in 2015. Now it’s been going on two years and I’m left wondering what all the fuss was over. Don’t get me wrong -- there are a lot of cool features to Facebook. But I’ve never found such an anxiety-inducing amalgam of banality. I often consider pulling the plug and deleting my account, but I always stop just short, instead deactivating as a more pragmatic approach.

I think a lot of my anxiety with Facebook stem from one thing specifically, and that’s just the amount of information Facebook presents to you. It’s too much. It’s overly personal, too, due to the way the platform is set up. It’s also the type of information Facebook gives you, which is often of the lowest common denominator variety, partially due to the platform itself, partially due to the user base and how they use it.

Now, to be clear, I realize I came to Facebook late, and know there once was a reason young people flocked to it. But once everyone and their grandma jumped on board, it became an awkward family dinner party. I completely understand the rise of Snapchat as a reaction against the familial, curated juggernaut that is Facebook for young people. Kids want to be kids without having to worry who will see what they liked, and don’t necessarily want to share always-manicured stuff for Instagram.

One of the more obvious issues with Facebook is clickbait. Probably due to clientele and sheer size, Facebook, like no other social network, is synonymous with it. Instagram doesn’t even allow links in an effort to cut down spam and clickbait. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been tempted by catchy, vapid articles, but at the end of the day, there is no way I’m going to actually need to know 10 surprising things I didn’t know a jellyfish could do. I live in a landlocked province, BuzzFeed! Clickbait is the type of thing that makes you unproductive at whatever you should be doing without actually gaining anything meaningful. You may as well trudge through Wikipedia articles instead and gain insight.

A nicer Facebook feature is that you can hook up other social accounts for easy cross-posting. But it comes at a price. For the way Tumblr is configured to connect with Facebook, not only does it let you cross-post Tumblr posts to Facebook, but for some reason, it allows Facebook to keep a tally of everything you like or share on Tumblr. Just a bit creepy. This doesn’t happen with Instagram or Twitter.

As previously mentioned, I often pragmatically just deactivate my Facebook account whenever I feel overwhelmed by it. Whenever you do this, Facebook pulls a guilt trip on you saying “X friend will miss you.” Very nice. Perhaps this isn’t overtly information overload, but it’s still kinda lame, and adds another deranged wing to the platform. The “friends” are either someone who won’t actually miss me, because we don’t actually talk anyways, or it’s someone who can get ahold of me through other means, including, amazingly enough, Facebook Messenger!

Although I find Messenger nice enough to not deactivate it, it is clearly sadistic in some ways. For example the right pane (on browser), constantly notifying you who is on Facebook and when they were last on Facebook. Through that, it’s easy to start picking out who spends too much time on Facebook, and notice habits in when people are on. These are things I don’t want to know and should only be valuable to stalkers in almost all cases. So why is it there? But the real vile part of it is the Read notifications. And not only does this show you that someone has viewed your message, Messenger also tells you exactly when. There are many articles dealing with “left on read”, but I’ll just say the whole thing, while a nice idea, should just be abolished. It is a terrible situation for both parties. For the receiver of a message, it creates unnecessary pressure to respond, as the clock starts ticking once you’ve opened the message, when you may simply have opened by accident or are trying to figure out a response. Or you just don’t have anything to say. It’s even worse for the sender, who sees their message read, and then just left. It creates this self-loathing anxiety encircling the notion that your message isn’t important and that your “friend” doesn’t care about what you have to say. Which isn’t necessarily the case, either. These features create an environment where people get anxious, analyze the hell out of things, in the process making assumptions, putting pressure, and so forth, and it’s all just not healthy. We really don’t need to be informed the time that a message was read, nor do we need to know when someone was last online, nor any of this. As someone who’s dealt with both ends of these issues, I think it’s best to keep Messenger as an augmented version of texting (not iMessage) in the right ways (eg stickers, customizing, group chats, etc).

The bulk of Facebook’s information overload aspects come more from the personal side of things. Some of this is literally the posting behaviour of members. Like, I don’t actually care what Gilmore Girl you’re most like. I mean, to each their own, but I don’t really get why it has to be shared. Every. Time. It’s spammy. And I know people whose profiles are just endless “test” results. I admit, sometimes they can be interesting, but the lowest common denominator variety rarely are, unless ironically (so hipster!). I think that’s the crux of it too; the banal, lowest common denominator drivel runs amok on Facebook in a way you don’t find elsewhere. It’s all very underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. Yet for some reason I still log back in. It baffles me sometimes, to be honest.

On top of that, Facebook likes to show that “X friend liked/commented on this”. Most times, I don’t care. Other times, it might be interesting, but I have no desire to interact with the post (which is presumably why Facebook does this) because it’s a post by a random friend-of-a-friend, whom I’ve never met. I’m not going to like or comment in that situation. It’d be weird. It’d be awkward. It’s the kind of thing that makes people desire to be very selective with what they like on Facebook because it may show up in someone’s feed, without that someone even looking for it. And because of the more personal (i.e. familial) nature of Facebook, it makes it doubly awkward. Personally, this isn’t an issue for me, but it’s still obnoxious.

Also, unlike Instagram, Facebook seems to serve as a photo dump for every photo from a night out to be posted. It really is just a waste of bandwidth to post two near-identical photos, side by side. I get that there is a less-rigourously-curated nature to Facebook, but c’mon. It makes the feed far less enticing to peruse. I guess there’s the unfollow option in these cases. More to the point, is that for some reason so many Facebook users (myself included) felt obligated to add people that they really have no interest in just to be “nice”. Usually it’s relatives, but it can be acquaintances or randos you met somewhere, sometime. It really makes Facebook that awkward dinner party I pointed to earlier. Often times, it’s perceived to be too awkward to unfriend, while others go through regular culls. For the former group, though, it dilutes the feed with stuff people aren’t interested in from people they aren’t interested in, which is why young people have flooded Tumblr, Instagram, and Snapchat.

But why not just delete it at that point? I’ve heard rumblings that many younger teens now don’t bother with Facebook, but once you’ve got it, it seems odd to get rid of it. It’s still a highly used platform, so it’s very, very useful for engaging with people. It’s great for groups, for events, and of course, more personal stuff. Facebook is a walled garden, and provided you set your posts not to public, it can allow you to be more real about things, provided you don’t have to worry about random aunts and acquaintances seeing it (or don’t care). It isn’t always a presentation of your best self, and in some ways that can be liberating. It’s candid. I like that. For the people I genuinely care about keeping up with, Facebook is a fabulously personal platform. But there’s also just a lot of bullshit on Facebook, including sometimes from those you do care about keeping up with, which makes Snapchat more and more enticing for “who cares” posting. If only most of my friends actually used it! Maybe I just need to unfriend a bunch of randos that I don’t really have in my life. But there’s still the systematic issues with the platform that wouldn’t be resolved in such a scenario.

For now, Facebook just feels like a taxing, necessary evil. I’m growing kinda tired of social media and smartphones in general, so maybe one day I’ll pull the plug. For now, I’m merely becoming distant to alleviate myself from the more toxic and creepy elements of Facebook, so that I can still reap the benefits of the platform. Hopefully it works.

There’s probably more I could’ve gone into here, but does anyone else feel similarly about Facebook as a platform of “TMI”? Anyone else feel stuck with it due to the broad nature of the platform?

#facebook #rant #tmi #social media #social network

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aguidetodeduction · 8 years ago

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Autism in Fiction (How Sherlock could do better)

So I wrote a review of the last episode of Sherlock and it was a negative one. I made my case about why I stopped watching it, in the hope of explaining why I don’t want to associate it with my own Sherlock Holmes work.

In this review I said, “I do not appreciate the use of autistic/bipolar characteristics as indicators of villainy. The “lack of empathy”, “trouble reading feelings”, “repressed emotion”, twitching movement reminiscent of stims… I could go on. The way disability was presented in the episode was nothing less than offensive.“

I’ve been asked to elaborate by @hoegarthhh and @amazing0209, who asked:

I just want to understand your reasoning of concluding that euros was autistic rather than a psychopath. Because every aspect of her personality clearly points to psychopath. Because it was stated she cannot feel pain. Something autistic people can.

It was hard to come up with a neutral response, especially considering this reply below which was far less diplomatic/ far more aggressive.

In no way is she autistic. I cannot believe you actually misdiagnosed her so severely. She is obviously a psychopath. It was stated multiple times how she cannot feel pain nor emotion. In what way is that connected to autism. Also Psychopaths are related to having anti social disorder which makes them a threat to society.

It upset me that you completely refused to acknowledge my point, but more so that you assumed I do not know my own feelings about my own condition. I am autistic, along with my dad and brother, which I mentioned at the very beginning of my review. If I recognise “autistic characteristics” in a character (note I did not say she is autistic, but that her character is coloured by behaviours associated with autism), that comes from a place of experience.

But this made me think about how my feelings on the matter are not enough, so I compiled some research I’ve put together that debunk the ideas that there is no overlap between psychopathy and autism, the harm that the “evil psychopath” idea does, and just general considerations writers should think about when writing autistic character.

Oh boy, this about to get long so buckle in. (Also I would like to disclaim that while I am heavily involved in research of these things, I am by no means an expert.)

THE SPECTRUM: NO TWO AUTISTIC PEOPLE THE SAME

So when we talk about autism, we say that people fall somewhere on the “autistic spectrum”. It means that while there are some area’s where autistic people overlap, primarily in their ability to perceive the world and their ability to interact. However, there are dozens of ways autism can effect people but it doesn’t effect all people with autism. (Think of it the way that all buses are vehicles, but not all vehicles are buses.)

Take my brother, his school friends, my dad and myself.

My brother was diagnosed with autism very young, due to learning difficulties and noticeable delay in social awareness. Physically his development was technically above average and he has a huge capacity for imagination, but he is unable to do things like travel independently due to his reliance on routine. He “stims”, which means a repetitive movement/twitch that keeps him calm.

Many of his school friends (at his specialist school) have physical or communication issues. Some have weak muscle development, or are non verbal (can’t speak). Like my brother, they rely on routine. Some have sensory issues, finding uncomfortable sensations like a tag in their clothes completely overwhelming.

My dad wasn’t diagnosed until his middle age. He was diagnosed (though with caution) while they were helping him with his bi-polar. He has “special interests” or obsessions which take prime importance in his life, but his main indicator was his low scoring sense of empathy. (Take note of this: it is important to my points later.)

I was only formally diagnosed around two or three years ago, after having to wait a long time to get a diagnosis appointment. (Separate rant, but they diagnosed me from things that have been in life since I was born when I was 18?) I also have repetitive behaviour, reliance of routine, several social anxiety and special interests (Sherlock was one of them).

However, being a woman with autism complicates the understanding of it. This is due to a pattern within women of “learning” social etiquette. Empathy may not come naturally, but you learn what people do in certain situations that call for empathy. This is not entirely absent in men either, but social pressures upon women are present from a younger age. Due to a absence of understanding that women can be autistic, women suffering from autism often suffer from depression as they think are “crazy” for finding social things unsatisfying/hard. (Think of Euros from Sherlock here, I’ll elaborate later.)

There is a way of discussing this different areas that illustrate a person’s place on the autistic spectrum, called the The Triad of Impairments.

THE TRIAD OF IMPAIRMENTS: LIKE THE TRIFORCE, BUT... SOCIALLY ANXIOUS

So your place on the Spectrum shows in how highly you score in these different areas.

Social Communication: This is mostly to do with being able to speak/understand verbal conversation, but also includes a difficulty reading facial expressions, body language, and expressing their own feelings.

Social Interaction: This is social behaviours that often come across as rude, like avoiding eye contact, showing no interest in other’s opinions, and a lack of awareness of other’s feelings.

Social Imagination: This is about difficulty predicting behaviour and working with abstract ideas. This includes a lack/absence of empathy, problems with change, repetitive behaviour and a minimal concept of danger (doing things like running across roads without taking time to be safe.)

So every autistic person ranks somewhere in one of these as a minimum. I have issues mostly in social interaction, after a long time of therapy to improve social communication. My brother ranks highly in all three. My dad is entirely in the social imagination part.

SO WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SHERLOCK?

Oh yeah, this was about Sherlock, wasn’t it?

Sherlock is one the main characters cited when people discuss possible autistic characters that are undiagnosed/good role models. This isn’t a hypothetical thing: it was actually an interpretation that made me interested in Sherlock Holmes in the first place. Using what I’ve discussed here, you can see it.

SHERLOCK: Has trouble expressing his feelings, often comes across as rude due to ignorance of social expectations, doesn’t care about opinions of others, often lacks empathy (except for those they are close with), minimal concept of danger, special interest (criminology, violin, chemistry).

The show says he has it, in a passing and underwhelming way. That in itself is disappointing, and hardly representation when it is thrown out in the same way a joke would be. When you apply the same idea to Mycroft, you get the same result, perhaps even more present due to his heavily introverted social life. For Euros, I see this:

EUROS: Difficulty reading body language (unsure if a nurse was male or female), often lacks awareness of the feelings of others, has an absence of empathy, has issues with changes to her sense of order, twitches (like stims), special interests (violin, her brother), and minimal concept of danger.

I agree that psychopathy is a legitimate reading of her character. But that is also a spectrum disorder. I believe that Euros is complicated by the fact that many of her cruel actions are out of design to frighten people. The plot tries to justify her cruel treatment by calling her “a psychopath” so it’s ok to throw her in prison.

However, the show goes out of the way to establish that she is never formally analysed, that she is socially isolated and that she is built up to have “mind control” powers. It makes her pretty much a supernatural monster, like a demon summoned from hell.

As a child with such huge mental illness issues, isolating her would be nothing less than needlessly cruel. As mentioned, women with autism cope by “learning” social behaviours, even if they don’t understand them. Even if she is psychopathic, removing her from people at a young age would ruin her social development even further. At the age of eight, cutting her off from social interaction would only make these social problems worse.

I take issue with the show’s treatment of disability on the whole, regardless of my own specific moments. John’s PTSD is inconsistent at best, and throwaway at its worst. (I don’t know enough about PTSD to discuss this in detail, but the fact the cane reappears in S4 after a three series absence makes the vanishing limp painfully obvious.)

Euros being somehow able to control people’s minds due some vague mental illness (be it psychopathy, autism, bipolar, whatever) makes the mentally ill into some “other” thing which should be considered evil. Moriarty being a victim of twitchy mood swings is part of this stereotyping of mental illness characteristics with evil.

Sherlock being autistic only as a throwaway line was depressing: how hard would it be just to say “yes, he’s autistic” and have him be an appealing protagonist? That would mean the world to me. But all examples of people being neuroatypical are negative, and it makes me feel isolated from something I should love.

Basically, don’t write characters as mentally ill unless you’re prepared to fully consider the implications of what you’re writing. Research the context of your own piece (Sherlock having such a strong connection to autism anyway), research the issues of the mental illness’s presentation in media, RESEARCH MENTAL HEALTH FROM THE VIEW OF THE MENTALLY ILL.

SOURCES:

http://www.autismbedfordshire.net/about-autism/triad-of-impairments/

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/criteria-changes.aspx

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asd.aspx?gclid=Cj0KEQiAzZHEBRD0ivi9_pDzgYMBEiQAtvxt-AEZgrk7_4i_XCunTKJIzH2BVol1TE6d-YFwrFOjTL8aAuUS8P8HAQ

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/myths-facts-stats.aspx

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainsnacks/201110/did-sherlock-holmes-have-asperger-syndrome

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/psychopathy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIlm5MyZTlM

#Sherlock #BBC Sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #autism #autistic

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