#but I needed to Do Something bc the depression was literally about to kill me

[thursdayg1rl]

ughh i cant take it anymroee

[noisy-weasel]

Mega unpopular opinion but I don't think there's anything wrong or abnormal about depression/suicidal ideation and I wish it wasn't so hated. Like let's be honest being depressed and suicidal when the world is like this is more normal than not being depressed and the truth is a lot of the time ppl who are depressed are never going to get better. Like I 100% know I will never get better and will kill myself someday but I can't say that because anyone who isn't depressed actually believes I can get better so they can't be okay with me dying. But if they spent a moment in my head they'd probably hand me the gun themselves. Because the truth is I'm not going to get better, I'm too old to get to where I'm supposed to be career+life wise even if I did get better, and it would only improve my family's lives if I was dead. These are FACTS and no one but me realizes that. Like fuck man what I wouldn't give to just have physician assisted suicide for depression. It would be so much cheaper than pills and therapy (cause come on dude, how the actual fuck is a depressed person supposed to find 200$/wk for therapy indefinitely). Basically I genuinely don't believe we should be trying to stop people from killing themselves when the reasons we want to kill ourselves aren't going away so obviously society doesn't actually care about a depressed persons well-being and just has a religious outlook about how sad god would be about it and it's not fair

[babiebom]

Where they fall in omegaverse Dynamics (stardew edition)

A/N: no i don’t know what’s wrong with me but now we all get to experience the inner workings of my mind :) enjoy OBVIOUSLY KIDS ARE NOT INCLUDED I was gonna do everyone but decided I didn’t know enough about a lot of the characters so only people I know :)this is hella old btw

Tw: sexual mentions, cursing, some insults to certain characters but like that’s not new here.

Genre: shitpost, headcanons

Masterlist

Alpha- top of the hierarchy. Dominant, and usually in charge. Hot heads and breeders.

Abigail- i think she would be an alpha that acts like a beta or omega. No one would actually know she’s an alpha until she loses her temper or goes off scent blockers or something.

Alex- typical dudebro and will be doing the breeding thank you. I feel like he would be a stereotypical alpha like this is a given.

Sebastian- DONT KILL ME PLS this is kinda biased because I know for a fact that I am literally Penny but an actual person and he is the one I am attracted to so naturally I want to put him here. I am probably delusional but I also think he could take charge so hmph.

Shane- can’t see him being bred bc i think he would be doing the breeding. When he takes control of his insecurities and stuff I think he could be super confident and leader like. Just needs to not be depressed.

Pierre- it’s his personality tbh. Like while I desperately do not want him to be in this category based on how much I dislike him, he would go into this category purely because of how he acts. He wants the most money, he’a the “man of the house” and provider, he has a temper he would just be an annoying alpha.

Kent- sexy hawt military man is obviously an alpha. There is no way he is being bred, there is no way he is going to be the homemaker, being an alpha is literally the only thing that makes sense for him.

Mr.Qi - he gives off alpha vibes, no omega or beta could be this confident and mysterious for absolutely no reason other than just being that way idk.

Evelyn - she gives off the vibes that when she and George were younger they were the “it’s fine/HE ASKED FOR NO PICKLES” couple. I think she could whoop somebody’s ass back in the day.

Robin- she is the woman with a business, she is providing, she is building, she is alpha no question about it.

Gunther- it’s the way he tips his hat idk. Also the way he’s just like “oh you don’t have any cool artifacts? Get out of my face then.” Maybe not that mean but like vibes.

Sandy- HAVE YOU SEEN HER? she is alpha, the would never be a beta or omega that is not her style at all sorry.

Marlon- man kills monsters for a living. Like no omega is going to waste time on that or even do that if I’m honest. Leave monster killing to the people who don’t have other things to do.

Pam- she gives off alpha that had their omega leave them vibes and that’s why she’s a crappy mother because it was not supposed to be her job.

Lance- literally a fighter/adventurer. The man protects and attacks he has to be an alpha, there is no way an omega can do this, and due to him being an active adventurer, and him being protective makes him more alpha than beta.

Olivia- an alpha mother that wants her beta son(spoiler) to be more like her. She active in getting money, or at least I think she has stocks. And she’s more ambitious than I think an omega or beta would be.

Andy-is this because he gives off asshole vibes? Mayhaps. He just seems like he’s an alpha whose family left him so he’s bitter at the world. A corpo slave to so where else would he go?

Suki- boss bitch that actually sneaks into the capital(or whatever it is) and steals and gets other people to give her contraband so she can sell it to bitches at a high price for her risking her life. Would never bow down to anyone.

Beta- in the middle simply because they are neither dominant nor submissive. They do not give off smells nor do they have heats or ruts. Basic people tbh.

Emily- she is just vibes. No amount of sex or heats or ruts or pheromones will bother her. She is above that and is too busy making clothes for birds.

Leah- I think she would literally just be middle ground because she gives off those vibes. Also because I think she could possibly end up with either an alpha or omega, it literally doesn’t matter to her.

Maru- she is literally just science. I am sorry but there is no time for breeding and going feral because of heats, she needs to make this robot and she needs to make it now.

Harvey- I also would’ve put him in Omega but since he is a doctor I feel like that means he is a beta. Like I don’t think alpha or omegas would be able to have this job since instincts and stuff are a major part in how they act. Betas would be able to ignore everything else and just work idk.

Clint- doesn’t give omega vibes but definitely is not an alpha. Like not to jump on the Clint hate train, but he gives off angry beta vibes that wishes he was an alpha. He doesn’t have confidence, and he seems like a loser tbh. He probably wishes he was an alpha to get Emily, or even any girl that he likes, but doesn’t realize that she and maybe even the rest don’t really care if he’s an alpha or not so he’s mad for nothing.

Morris- he is literally just a worker bee. No sex, no love, just working and getting to the top and having money. The man is only ruled by money, no amount of good smelling things and sexy prospects will entice him.

Willy- a man who just wants to fish. He also gives off alpha vibes, but I think he is too comfortable to be around and too chill and level headed to be an alpha. Love him.

Magnus- I think he just magically made himself a beta in order to not have any distractions. Was married once, it was a mistake, he impregnated a person that lives in Pelican Town (*cough* Caroline *cough*) and she went back to her husband so he doesn’t want any other distractions. It’s only time for magic and protecting the town.

Linus- cannot be an alpha or omega and be comfortable living alone in a tent. He is just a nature man and it would not make any sense for him to be anything but a beta.

Demetrius- like father like daughter, the only thing that matters is science he just somehow ended up with a hot wife. She is happy being a provider and he is happy doing his science.

Grandpa- I have no idea I refuse to put him under either because it’s either admitting he is fuckable and submissive or dominant and a fucker. Absolutely not.

Lewis- hate him he has baby balls with how he treats Marnie, yeah he’s a leader being mayor, but no true alpha would act like this. He’s an asshole that is making himself seem like an even bigger asshole in an attempt to seem like an alpha.

Victor- is only ambitious about things he cares about, which is similar to the others on this list. Doesn’t wish to really do anything with his life other than what he is passionate about, like bridges.

Susan- all she wants to do is be on her farm as far as I know. I would’ve put her in alpha but she doesn’t give off those vibes she just seems normal? Like she’s able to take charge but won’t if she doesn’t have to?

Omega - definition of submissive and breedable. At the bottom of the hierarchy and their main purpose is to breed and serve the alphas. Sadge.

PENNY- the literal definition of submissive and breedable. Like yes? This is her actual dream? She would love this.

Haley- has the personality of an Alpha but is not one. Just extremely bratty. The right person will make her submit naturally and not just because of her status.

Sam- sweet boy Sam is deffo an omega. Maybe not super submissive but I think that underneath the childishness he would be a good homemaker. Like I think that his relationship with his younger brother shows that he is on the more nurturing side rather than the I have to provide side.

Elliott- Elliott stans don’t hate me. But he gives off worshiper vibes and not the person being worshipped. Maybe it’s his love notes and letters but I think he would do good with an alpha he could serenade all day.

Caroline- I feel like only an omega could deal with Pierre. She always complains about him working all the time and how he behaves but she never does anything about it. Omega behavior.

Jodi- an omega that hates being an omega. She is in charge of child rearing, and is the homemaker but hates it. Wishes she could be a beta and wishes she could’ve waited to get married and have kids. She is so unhappy this is her biology.

George- Evelyn’s bitch. I’m sorry. But like we all know that George is Evelyn’s sub. Idc.

Marnie- the most obvious out of the villagers that isn’t a bachelorette. Like yearns for a family and marriage and romance. She wants it, she needs it, unfortunately attached herself to an asshole.

Gus- yes he is a business man, but all he cares about is feeding everyone and providing a place for them to Hang out. He is an omega that found his calling in serving people instead of having kids and we love him for it.

Sophia- this girl isn’t Alpha at all. Like bffr she’s depressed, shy, and quiet. And her hobby is cosplay. Girl is one hundred percent an omega. Even though she owns her parents company, I think she isn’t like business motivated, only is happy that it’s this company specifically and allows her to garden idk.

Claire- she is different from the others on this list. Because she is motivated, she wants to be an actress and does work and provide for herself. I think though if she met the right person that would provide while she chases her dreams she would like it. Even her hobbies seem soft to me (reading, ballet. )

[torturedblue]

It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles

Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!

First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss

Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them

Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy

MURDER THE SHREKS!

“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽

Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing

Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:

“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀

“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world

“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀

“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.

“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂

Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭

I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao

All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂

The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together

Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭

And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own

I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.

Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌

Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy

Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣

They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)

The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹

“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”

“No! We accept you!”

“You can come live with us! We accept you!”

“WE VIBE!”

Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ��aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹

The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there

“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”

Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂

“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”

“That was really heartfelt Raph”

I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation

Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD

Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration

Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho

SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN

Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…

The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore

Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr

[heyitspersephone]

Thinking about stranger things again now that the strikes are over and how, narratively, it would be way, WAY cooler to have Mike get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5

It’s just something about the way Mike’s trauma is never addressed or handled in any way?? Like, he hugs his mom twice and then when he was depressed in season 2 and 4 nobody did anything (his parents scolded him for his behavior in s2 ig but that’s not support). His best friend went missing leaving from his house, he watched his body get pulled from the quarry, watched El (in his eyes) kill herself stopping the demogorgon, watched Will be possessed, saw Bob die, was in Star Court when everything went down, saw Billy die, had his best friend move away, was SHOT AT (and really too few people talk about the shooting in Cali bc omg??), buried a body, and watched the apocalypse start. And that’s just off the top of my head.

(And yes I’m aware that the other characters (especially Will) are traumatized too but I will get to my point in a second just hold on)

The plot is geared towards this idea that Will and Henry have to have some big face off (and they should, in my opinion, but I don’t think it should be in a possession, or at least not the the Vecna kind of possession, yk?) but that makes it all the better, writing wise, to have mike be the one in danger. Will was helpless and hiding in s1, I think Will should get his big strong moments in s5 where he gets to be the hero of the story.

It would just be a lot more fun to work with Mike being Vecna’d than Will, because what are we going to bring up with Will’s visions? His dad? His sexuality? The events of s1 from his perspective? It would be cool to see, for sure, but we already know most of that. Mike, on the other hand, has a number of untapped things, like jumping off the quarry, why he’s so hesitant to tell El he loves her, how someone who was smart and kind enough to take El in in s1 and come up with the spy and sauna plans in s2 and s3 could turn into the oblivious asshole that he was in s3 and s4 (he needs therapy, ik, I still love his character but I want to explore the reasons he went from his s2 characterization to his s3 one)

It would be a very interesting parallel, I think, to explore Mike’s thought processes in this way, especially with all of Mike’s repression business (bc whether you ship byler or milkvan he is repressing his feelings HARD. Like, beyond his inability to say I love you there’s the fact that he doesn’t bring up the apparent many times he called pre-s4 during the Rink O Mania fight?? That literally would’ve absolved him of guilt in that argument since he WAS reaching out to Will the whole time? Hellooooo????).

Anyways, this all brings me to my main point: Vecna targets isolation as much as he targets trauma and guilt. The whole party was traumatized by the events in s1, s2, and s3, but Max was the one targeted. Plus, Henry went for Fred, Chrissy, and Patrick (I think his name was Patrick) instead of going for the perceivably easy targets that the mcs would make (ik narratively that would’ve made it more boring but shhh), so why Max and those three specifically? They were isolated. Lucas and Erica have each other, Dustin goes to Steve and Robin, Will and El have each other and Jonathan and Joyce, Nancy probably goes to Jonathan, and who does Mike go to?

No one. And don’t say Nancy because if those two have heart to hearts then I’m the next coming of Christ. Max separated herself from the Party in the aftermath of her grief and guilt over Billy, and it feels quite obvious that Mike was doing the same (like I said, he has repression issues). So Mike is traumatized, alone, and guilty (be it Will getting taken from Mike’s house, losing El in front of him multiple times, the many deaths he has witnessed, or the internalized homophobia angle), which makes him more of a target than Will, in my opinion (or at least an easier one, especially given his tendency to put himself on the line during fights (quarry, most of s2, s3 mindflayer fight), which would set him up on the suicidal ideation path)

Furthermore, as I’ve seen a few other people point out (and I can’t find the posts but one of them had eight screenshots of the various moments), Mike is always the one getting in the way, so it would be a strategic move for Henry to target him to get him out of the picture. Mike was the one that found El and got her involved in saving Will s1, he was the one who came up with the spy plan and called out the ambush in s2, he was the one to monologue Will out of his possession s2, he was the one with the sauna plan for Billy in s3, he was the one trying to help El get the strength to fight s4 (even if the monologue sucked ass it’s the intention that counts). As much as people like to hate on Mike, he is in the leader position most of the time when the party is grouped up (barring his mental health struggles slowing that down beginning of s3 and throughout s4, but he’s still capable of it). He’s the idea man, and he’s the one whose character’s foundations were built on the desire to keep his friends safe, so it would be a very fun plot line to watch him be the one targeted in s5. Like Will said, as lovestruck and cheesy as he was, Mike is the heart of the party when he’s on his A-game, so Henry should 100% be trying to keep him in the issues he’s been struggling with.

Obviously, Will and El are the Targets with a capital T for Henry since they’re the ones that got away or whatever, but I think Mike is a weakness of Will’s (and El’s tbh but also I think they need to have separate character arcs and I don’t exactly ship milkvan) that should be exploited.

TL;DR: Mike should get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5 because it would make sense in lore and be a very cool way to resolve his character arc

[weebsinstash]

Atsv Spoilers (not really or kinda depends on opinion I guess? Better safe then sorry) Just thinking about Spider Reader with the destroyed universe getting fucked over by YouTwo and snapping back with "Then just send me home!" and then the Go Home Machine failing cause there is no universe to send them back to. Miguel being horrified that he's made such a terrible mistake, Reader staring at Miguel with absolute hatred in their eyes so caught up in the euphoria of justified rage they don't realize that they've effectively trapped themselves in a neat container for safe keeping.

No but deadass I spent my entire overnight shift last night just like, literally brainstorming different and horrible ways Reader could be "kicked out" and one idea I thought of was, Reader gets confronted and accused of being YouTwo, and YT themself is there to help pour on the tears and treat you like such a nasty awful bully and make up all kinds of accusations and also just different little ideas on things the SS does to make Reader spiral into WANTING to leave (like for example what if Reader and Miguel have a big argument because you were there during like the second movie and you're like "O'Hara what you said to that kid was genuinely so fucked up" and start avoiding him which drives him crazy, more so than you usually make him by just existing anyways

Imagine if instead of using the machine to send you home, YouTwo just strides up and basically suckerpunches you and steals your bracelet right off your wrist, saying you can just glitch out and go home that way (because YT is literally trying to fucking kill you at this point)

You're just glitching and you're crying and SCREAMING in terror, because even if you've been so depressed you were contemplating suicide, ideation is different than HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, and NOW you don't have a choice, and you're getting hysterical BEGGING "I'll go somewhere else and never come back! Don't do this! Don't take my bracelet! I'll die!! I'll die!!" And most of them don't believe you because they're convinced this is another manipulation attempt by the person they THINK you are and they don't want to give you the bracelet because they don't want "fake you" to come back

Some of them, though, realize you're just a bit TOO upset, and that maybe something really IS wrong. You start looking at people and calling them out by name, trying to recall specific events and memories, but many are convinced that "you" were so devoted on spying and copying "the real you" that you must have had them bugged or stalking them and just overheard these moments. They're all so tricked that maybe YouTwo even claims they had a diary that you stole, and that's how you know everything

These are people you've spent months and months if not a few YEARS with, being their friend, training with them, fighting alongside them, helping them through grief and loss, and suddenly you realize, oh my fucking god if you weren't a Spider and they didn't think you still had a home universe to protect, still had a home universe that would collapse without you, would they actually fucking kill you? Like imagine the horror at realizing the unspoken threat and knowing they WANT to kill you or significantly harm you, that they WOULD kill over something like this, over what is essentially just... personal beefing? Idk but, I was also thinking, what if YouTwo had actually sabotaged the elevator project from the other idea I had, so, maybe they've been up to all kinds of dangerous shit

(As a side bar, imagine Miguel investigating the accident bc he thinks the whole like suddenly falling apart thing was very sus and maybe there had been an explosion and upon investigating he learns "you" planted bombs and he like. Gently confronts you about it like "I know you've been stressed and feeling like you need to prove yourself but you can't do things like this" and you're just like. Goddamn that hurts for him to just not even, doubt it was you, maybe YT has created some sort of alibi. He doesn't like, punish you or anything, but, you just kind of blow up at the accusation and I think it'd be pretty entertaining if you're like, "ok you know what, fuck you actually, I'm going to go live in the normal part of the city" and he doesn't even, take that seriously, he just sort of acts like you're throwing a tantrum but he's like, clearly not wanting to punish you even though he's obviously disappointed in you, for something you didn't even do, ouch)

But anyways, so, I've thought about how Reader would get the bracelet back, and it's ranged from "Reader saying something only the true you would know, something that was private or no one else would know about but you and certain witnesses" to "Reader has a food allergy certain people know about but YouTwo doesn't so you just say 'ok bitch watch me prove this shit and also fuck you' and you deliberately eat the thing and go into straight anaphylactic shock out of spite"

YouTwo fakes an allergy attack and says you poisoned them and you're just like "oh you wanna see a REAL allergic reaction bitch" *starts seizing after licking an almond joy*

But no anyways back to more serious ideas, you're just, starting to glitch out more and more, screaming and begging "don't kill me!" and Miguel is starting to wonder if maybe he should just give the bracelet back, he's got an, uncomfortable feeling, and A Lot of Spidey Senses start going off and you're freaking out because you literally think you're about to die (although for closure I like to think you just, bounce somewhere else, and you'll maybe keep bouncing before you find another sort of anchor, and also for spite of course i like to think of that anchor being another Miguel, like either you naturally "settle" there or he gets you a dimensional watch)

And my preferred preference of routes here varies. "YouTwo exposes themself on accident by saying some dumb shit" to "you say something only you would know, something like extremely personal, like maybe you even stalk up to Miguel and bring up something he said to you about losing his family and like, how you respected him for going through all that and how you were glad he was the society's/your leader and he barely gets that bracelet on before you vanish" to "asking YouTwo to prove theyre you by answering certain questions" to "they realize youre telling the truth but literally JUST as theyre about to put the watch back on, you vanish" to, finally, "you cant prove your innocence fast enough and they genuinely do just let you fucking disappear on purpose but instead of dying you just go somewhere else until you meet a different Miguel who rescues you and now you're like hardcore trauma bonded to that man because you were just bouncing around terrified until you found him and he's just like insanely protective of you and you're just kind of, glued to his side bc you only feel safe when he's there to protect you, because you're scared of, everyone at this point, like totally traumatized by what happened and also if you're with him 24/7 you can't be swapped out and he won't think you're a fake and try to kill you right?? Ha ha you aren't traumatized at all :) and it just makes your hero all the more, attached to hear all that you went through, from the beginning, and see what it did to you, and it 'definitely' isnt feeding into any extremely intense feeling of his that you WANT to be with him 24/7"

Ok actually that concept is about to highjack this post, I need to swing back to that later bc there's some real potential in, like, Reader being like so extremely fucked up over what happened that it immediately thrusts you into the arms of another terrible situation. Like you just got straight betrayed and "murdered" by all of your friends, like basically your entire social community, and Miguel2 is now the only one you can trust, and meanwhile he feels genuine empathy for you and is angry at the people who hurt you and he just kind of vows to protect you, and, I like to think, maybe Reader has time before they glitch between worlds (unless you just, magically settle again like you did in the other Nueva York, maybe you're a mutant or your destiny is tied to Nueva York or at least staying alive.) so maybe he literally develops the tech to anchor you down within like, the days you have there, maybe it's a 3 day time limit. So, now you've got just him and you, no Spider Society, no original Miguel, and maybe you just kind of totally fall in love with this dude, but of course Miguel 1 is obviously horrified by what he did to you when he somehow finds out you're still alive. Like an anomaly villain breaks into your new home and, oh great here are some of your old friends and your ex, um, boss showing up and he's just, speechless when it becomes obvious youre the same one. Like imagine you tried to not even speak to them and avoid them to try and keep your new life but youre so obviously scared of them and you accidentally look in your original Miguel's eyes and he knows immediately it's you. Bruh his PAIN AND REGRET when he steps forward to try and embrace you in relief and joy bc oh my god you aren't dead, and you just flinch away from him, maybe you even cling to the new Miguel, and the original just. He's ready to fucking fight. He wants you back, he wants to apologize, he wants to be able to make things up to you and go back to how things used to be, especially if he has feelings he had wanted to act on, whether being more romantic or just more platonically affectionate in general, more open and vulnerable with you, but never got to before the YouTwo wrecking ball came swinging through

But yeah I'm just. Thinking of dramatic painful ideas and grinding them up and snorting them like crack. I think it's the whole "you burned me and now you're groveling for my forgiveness" that does it for me 🤌

[strawberry-milkbunny]

I have no one to talk to about Tokyo Rev so here r my random hot takes that I need to say:

- Emma and Hina r boring and used as romance plot devices it’s okay to admit that Wakui can’t write women idk I don’t expect shounen/men to be able to write girls well (still cried when Emma died tho bc she didn’t deserve it!!!)

- lol I LOVE Yuzuha and Senju tho

- I actually do like Emma and Draken together but I also firmly believe Draken is in love w/Mikey and was just projecting onto Emma LMAO

- Yuzuha is a lesbian

- Controversial: I don’t think Shinchiro was THAT great of an older brother. Like he was cool but he still introduced Mikey and Izana into the world of gang life/normalizing violence and yeah OG Black Dragons isn’t like that but….what do u expect when u form a gang??? .obviously there’s a high chance that it’s gonna develop into LEGIT gang activity

- As an adult and someone who was basically raised by an older sibling w/a big age gap (my sis is 7 years older) I kinda don’t blame Takeomi for being a bad older brother??? Realistically he’s a 17 yr old in charge of raising 2 toddlers like NO SHIT he did a bad job. At least Shin had his grandfather to help out but Takeomi actually had no one. Doesn’t explain y he’s a brokey LOL buttttt again I don’t FULLY blame him for being a bad sibling still hurt my boi Sanzu ����😤

- I HC that Mikey is used to having a caretaker (Draken and later Sanzu) bc when Shin died he was so depressed and genuinely couldn’t get out of bed

- Takemitchy is also lowkey boring/typical shounen protagonist and canonically stinky like Hina could do sm better. This is personal preference so I find myself wanting more chaotic/dumb protagonists who are slightly morally ambiguous like Denji, Gintoki, hell even Naruto at times. Takemitchy didn’t get character development until BD arc and that’s just a bit too long for me….

- Koko and Inui r gay and dating 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

- the Haitani brothers r the kardashians of the TR universe they’re so embarrassing Deadass show up and pose/do absolutely nothing I LOVE THEM SHKSKSKSK

- I love how it’s universally agreed that Mitsuya and Chifuyu r the best bois

- I have mixed feelings about Izana. I genuinely do like him and DESPISE how he’s whitewashed by fanart

- I get it u genuinely just wanted to not be alone and found out ur adopted in the worst way possible but…..idk how that justifies killing ur own sister but u do u ig 🤷‍♀️ and u have KAKUCHO AS UR FAMILY WTH

- don’t listen to me tho I’m a Mikey and Sanzu stan LMAOO 🤭🤭🤭

- Izana is the definition of mommy issues and 100% had crunchy hair lik mans was homeless

- if I saw Izana IRL I would RUN 🏃‍♀️idk he looks a lil crazy

- also this man does not know Tagalog he didn’t even know he was Filipino until he was lik 12

- idk the Tenjiku arc is so funny to me bc Izana is deadass: imma kill everyone in Mikey’s life for revenge and Mikey is lik: bruh I didn’t even kno u existed until last week and now ur killing our sister UNPROVOKED ???

- Bonten!Mikey is a virgin/no libido mans is DEPRESSED

- wished the Bonten arc was longer simply for the outfits bc Wakui KNOWS FASHION but that shit was DEPRESSION

- 3 Deities Arc was amazing and also funny/serious at the same time. It literally was an all out brawl in an AMUSEMENT PARK

- fr tho wtf was Benkei, Wakasa and Takeomi doing there??? Like they’re canonically 27 GO GET A JOB STOP FIGHTING 15 YEAR OLDS SHKSKSKS

- U cannot tell me that Sanzu WASNT sad when Baji and Mucho died.

- Baji was straight up his childhood friend and the only one other than Senju who knows about the plane incident/Mikey’s possessive side. And In the OG!timeline I’m pretty sure Baji was the only friend Sanzu DIDNT attack. While with Mucho he was pretty much his older brother, Sanzu just decided Mikey was better

- Tbh if the dark impulses/Shin thing wasn’t real I would’ve firmly believed Mikey had DID or something. Which again made only worse by the fact that violence and death is such a regular thing in his life (GET THIS MAN THERAPY LIK WTF IS SHIN AND GRANDPA SANO DOING???)

- Kazutora going a lil crazy is lowkey expected and I hate how we only find out about his home life in the character books. This kid grew up in a physically and mentally abusive household (gaslight to pick between parents and as s/o who has experienced that shit it’s fucked up) and I rlly don’t think prison helped out his mental stability either no shit he tried to kill Mikey

- I don’t ship Mikey and Takemichy (despite the IMMENSE gay ness btwn them) firmly bc I think everyone can see how much power Takemitchy has over Mikey idk it has a weird power dynamic like if Takemitchy tried he could 100% control Mikey (platonically or romantically)

- Baji, Chifuyu and Kazutora r a throuple

- I HATE how Sanzu is reduced to this crazy drug addict. Sanzu is canonically smart, manipulative, and formally trained fighter. He also REMEMBERS the OG timeline, he had to experience Shin dying twice and everyone else die no shit he’s a little bonkers/needs drugs to take everything away. Plus his relationship to Mikey which tbh is a whole separate post

- controversial !!!: I ship Mikey and Sanzu or Mikey and Draken. Sanzu only bc this man has a big ass crush and deserves some niceness for once

- ppl write Kakucho as this shy, nice guy like ur not wrong but mans is also running UNPROVOKED into Yakuza offices like it’s the gym while dragging Rindou wit him 😭😭😭

- the haitanis r the best sibling duo

- It lowkey makes me mad in fanfics where Ran is depicted as cheating w/Rin’s gf like??? This man raised his younger brother himself u cannot tell me he doesn’t love his brother and would actually do that to him

- Ran would 1000% do anything for Rin and i firmly believe he kinda regrets not saying anything in court to prevent Rindou frm joining him in jail. Like saying he forced Rindou to kill someone w/him, abusing his brother at home, etc especially in the Bonten! tl he def thinks about wtf he dragged his brother into

- I also don’t think they’ve slept w/ the same person before. Idk I feel like they have diff types like Ran goes for more motherly/mature types while Rindou goes for sweeter/shy types

- Draken has road rage

- Yuzuha should’ve been taller like AT LEAST 5’7 bitch is related to Hakkai and Taiju for gods sake

- OG BD 100% thought Wakasa was a girl for at least a month. He’s canonically 5’3 and pretty.

- Characters who r 100% bisexual: WAKASA, Senju,maybe Hina, Draken (def in denial), Rindou, Ran (he’s a whore as long as ur pretty he’s down), Sanzu, Koko, Kazutora, Chifuyu

- Mitsuya had a crush on Draken

[triplegoths]

untagged

i cant fucking take living like this anymore

i cant do it i have to end it soon theres literally nothing for me here anymore. its too much to do. im never gonna fucking have another close in real life relationship.

i want to just like order some food at work so im not more miserable being here but i dont have the strength or stomach to eat something. ill eventually try maybe. i dont know. the drugs make me not eat like a fucking sick dog already and everything rn just says i dont deserve it

i have no motive or energy to do anything but work or somethimes playing a game but even that were usually unable bc were too tired.

whats the fucking issue with me!!!! i just dont give a shit anymore i dont want to do anything nothing makes me happy everythinf eventually juat makes me feel scared and sick and weird. every time i try to make fun or have plans it goes horrible and it just feels worse so i wont anymore ill just fucking rot alone like life wants me to

nobody here can help me and if i could i couldnt afford it so who fucking cares its cheaper to kill myself and lose the body so they dont need funeral costs. theyd misgender and shave me anyway probably

im just so fucking over it all im never gonna be happy like this. i got nothing. theres no good its just working til i fucking kill myself and putting myself through fuxking agony constantly for a life that continues to just KICK AND KICK AND KICK AND KICK me when im fucking down. i cant handle anything else happening. im trying so hard to get things done and theres just fuxking nothing. i will never ever be enough and ill never feel enough.

doesnt matter what or when or the circumstance its so depressing that its not just romantic relations too im so fuckinf scared in groups i automatically feel unwelcome and hated and like i should just go off by myself because im literally so unlikeable and everything has proved it forever. like genuinely as soon as i realized there were more than 2 people i got terrified and started questioning everythinf i did and wanted to run away bc i felt like i wasnt meant to be there and it was ovipus and i was being annoying like fucking ALWAYS GOD IM SO SICK OF BEING LIKE THIS can i just shut up forever? dirk please come back to front im tired of annoying all the people who so graciously allow me to exist around them so i dont have to be in such crushing loneliness all the time i feel like such a fucking baby and everybody probably thinks im such an annoying drug addict too can i just quit it and fucking feel and then kill myself already when i realize its worse

like im never gonna be able to afford any of the shit i need to heal and i dont even wanna try bc ill get 3 appointments in and will run out of money and continue doing that and then ill die bc i cant afford anything else. like why would i do that to myself ill just suffer like this and just do my best forever til i can only rot. id rather get it fuckinf over with and just die now. this isnt a life

i go frm one box go another. rotting. i rot at home alone or i go to work alone. i dont really go out. i dont really talk to anybody. i dont really see anybody. i have 1 irl friend who talks to me and lives in town. the other i dont see her often and honestly feel so embarassed of myself around her because of how i am that i can barely convince myself to see her sometimes even if she is in town. the other person is one of my exs and he doesnt give a shit about me he just wants sex bc thats the only thing im good for. i feel like i just annoy and make everybody uncomfortable conwtantly i dont wanna do it anymore i want to shut up

i always do it i always just talk endlessly frm the second i fucking could before most kids could talk even and i just never shut up did i? my parents were always annoyed by me talking about things that brought me joy (and they never believed me for things that were upsettinf and it was just fake and i needed to be quiet about it bc theyre not taking me to the doctor. so i stopped talking about it to my family and everybody else in my life in that era did the same. the bullies. my friends who ignored me. no matter the form it was always like that i just need to learn to keep quiet and go away and not need anything ever again. i couldnt fucking learn it every time i got a red or yellow card for talking (usually trying to ask questions bc i didnt understand or couldnt see or couldnt hear in elementary school. or to make conversation bc i was friendly and had no friends and my parent didnt play with me so i was lonely. nobody ever liked me bc i was weird. i feel like such a bitter dickhead but i get so jealous when i see that people talk to others every day. especially in person. im so fucking alone i literally get so excited when people want to call with me even if it makes me really scared (and sometimes if im not comfortable enough or feeling sad i will run a away from that too because im so scared to fuckinf annoy people and say something stupid or be boring or trying too hard or just fucking being a total downer because theres nothing good ever going on for me. i got so depressed goin on bsky today and seeing everyone playing webfishing when i cant. but even so lik.e maybe im glad i djdnt join bc one of them was in a big group with new mut and then all strangers so like. its better i wasnt able to bc i would probably jusg feel worse and run away frm everyone bc i feel inadequate snd guilty for taking up space. i always feel like im bothering everyone no matter what. fuck my exhusband in general but he also made me so much more insecure than i was already. he made me feel so annoying and he broke my communication. i was alone with him and JUST him for so long. i could only communicate in nonsense phrases sometimes (literal jibberish not memes) because thats all he would respond to or wouldnt talk to me until i did. he changed my whole pattern of speech and i still almost lapse into it sometimes. it was never any kind of real conversation about anything i felt like it withered my brain. nothing ever in depth just stupid sensless bullshit and jokes (that were often insulting me and made me feel like shit) and i was doing it for fucking nothing because everything else sucked too!!!! the only time there was ever a conversation was when i was BEGGING HIM to stop sometbing or do something for the millionth time. or him defending himself or trying to force my support and trigger my ocd (i genuinely think he was trying to make it worse he never respected it ever he mever respected a single part of me) or him fighting with me on something again (usually the thing was due to him and i just was not being forgiving and quiet and turning off my emotions enough about it. learned numb happiness)

my existence is like a plague and theres nothing here for me. theres even less left of me after he got done with me. he stripped my personality all the way down and forcef me to mirror him. everythinf will always be rotted and ill feel like a horrid shell of a person any time im near anyone. the only option is being alone. maybe this time i will learn and just fuxking stop all of this so we can stop being a curse on everybody. even if i could afford mental help theres nobody that can help me here so its all a waste. i feel like everybody will just hurt me again. doesnt even have to be a partner i feel like every single person is gnna realize sooner or later that im not worth it or they dont like me (ir even hate me) and that im just too fucking annoying to be around

i dont want to be annoying anymore. i wish it was like right after he went to prison again when i didnt have anything and was an empty shell and had nothing to say or talk about that wasnt venting. i wish i never got back some of my "sparkle" or whatever the fuck people call it. mines not a sparkle. its a noxious cloud of toxic annoyance fumes and everybody just has to keep their masks up til i vacate the area. why would i ever fucking want this to come back. i need to shut the fuck up i really do. just take our personality and every crumb of joy again im so sick of it. make it so i dont have any of those thoughts to even post. thus sparing everyone from having to be like "UGH this motherfucker AGAIN. does he ever shut the fuck up? is he ever quiet? can he just log off already? this guy definitely has no life. why does he always have to butt into everything"

that way i can just post like. the shortest most boring updates ever like "back to work! only 3 days this week for the 39 hours. more time off is always good" and then shut up for days and then "got paid nice. going to the bank and then grabbing a few groceries" like thats do much better. nobody needs to fucking know man its sad and depressing and all the same OR you are the most obnoxious prick on any site youre ever and you ruin everybodys day when theyre forced to see you in their notifs or on their timeline

ive probably already muted me bc it didnt even take a week for me to just talk way too muxh when none of of it is important and nobody wants to hear it

even if im not allowed to talk frm my body. its already annoying enough in text and then psyically i just stutter and trip over myself or cant think or forget what i was saying

i wanna delete everything i have and crawl into the earth. i hate being alive. the one time i find something that makes me happy even the littlest bit i cant do it anymore. disallowed by the universe and painfully reminded of the fact im supposed to alone and theres actually nothing for me. it doesnt get better for me it only gets worse. and it makes me feel stupid for believing it could even though thats few and far between. theres nothing left for me i need to just get whatever drugs i decide on and have one last hoorah and take enough to kill me. which hopefully wont even be that hard because im mixing downers and uppers constantly so like its only a matter of time right. my nose hurts and i feel like crying and my body is killing me again so im taking both things again. one for pain. one for maybe like. a little bit of energy but mainly so i dont feel so absolute shit. i just want it all to stop i dont wanna get better anymore im sick of it every time i try i get fucking worse or am crushed by something else even harder than before im DONE WITH IT IM FUCKING OVER IT i just wanna end it theres nothing fucking here for me im never making it. im sick of trying. im sick of always helping even while going through the wordt shit imaginable. im not sick of it. i want to help and i love helping. but it makes me fucking SICK to think about how ive spent my whole life caring for others. have been let down or ignored or told i was lying or had them hurt me instead so many times over i just fucking wish i was important enough to have gotten help when i needed it. to be listened to enough for somebody to even acknowledge or believe there is an issue (or simply convince me im overreacting)

it was fucking stupid of me to think my last ditch effort of doing art school because every other thing i failed miserably at because im too stupid and cant do enough and dont have the support. it doesnt even fucking matter bc my body is slowly and slowly getting closer to just saying "no fuck you" to the art i NEVER HAD TIME TO MAKE TO MY FULL ABILITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. and then ill never be able to do it ever again because i cant get help

i am going to die knowing i never finished a single thing in my life and nobody will ever know what i was capable of.

i want to die in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible because its what i deserve. its the only thing i truly deserve. i need to endanger myself more than i already do obviously its not killing me fast enough if im still kicking and dragging myself across the pavement. i should be dragged along the pavement by a semitruck instead.

i wanna kill myself so bad tonight man. im gonna try not to bc my friend really needs me rn. but i really might relapse. im so fucking tired i want to just go and sleep but ill stay up just for that. i should just cut a vein already why do i care about beinf careful. there was a thing i wanted to do... cut myself with a razor right after i use it to chop **** because maybe itll make me feel good when im not or just fuck my heart enough to make me faint or do smth stupider

ive been writing this for so long im fucking done. i got 2.5 more hours here. i hope i find my mouse when i go home so i change my mind but i honestly really just want to end it right now. im at the end of the line really. im gonna work til i die and never get a break

"everyday it feels like noone sees and noone knows. every day i kinda wanna cancel the show." /lyr

please for the love of god like this if you read all of it i just spilled my whole guts and not even well

[yanderepuck]

We're actually going to bully everyone.

Today's list is: something I hate about every guy bc some of you tend to think I only hate on Arthur.

Aka mainly just saying what I don't like about each guys route and why I wouldn't date them

Napoleon

He gets assigned as your bodyguard and he says that you're a waste of his time. FINE BY ME. BYE. DON'T TALK TO ME.

Mozart

Basically the same thing. "I don't like you. No one wants you here. And you're too loud" well damn bitch do you think anyone wants you here either?

Leonardo

WILL YOU STOP CARRYING ME EVERYWHERE LIKE A FUCKING CHILD. IM GOING TO MAKE THIS EXPERIENCE HORRIBLE FOR THE BOTH OF US. I DO HOLD A GRUDGE. Also....BITE MEEEE

Vincent

What could you hate about him? Honestly he's so positive it's toxic. It's not good to see the bright side of EVERYTHING. He'd sorta invalid negative emotions and be like "well just be happy!"

Theo

There's more than you think. I see you shirtless, and you don't want me to tell anyone about the scar so you make me work with you?? No no no. I'm going to use it as blackmail and you're going to do what I want. It makes no sense having him blackmail you. MEANWHILE YOU BARELY EVEN NOTICE THE SCAR. WTF ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?

Arthur

Do I even need to say. First off, he won't take no for an answer. You sleep around with different women like 3 times a week so I'm assuming you have commitment issues bc it's almost never the same woman. What kind of STDs are in you

Isaac

Please don't treat me like I'm a dumbass when I don't understand you spitting out chemistry formulas. You obviously want to be noticed as the smartest one around

Dazai

There's a lot more wrong than you'd think. Stop talking in fucking riddles. You're depressed? IM DEPRESSED BRO YOU CHOSE TO COME BACK AND LIVE A SECOND TIME SO DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

Jean

Why the FUCK DID YOU BITE ME. And how the FUCK DID YOU NOT GET IN TROUBLE. I WILL BEST YOU WITH YOUR OWN SWORD

Will

You're literally ratting out your 'family' for what??? An idea for a play??? Wtf is it going to be about?? Just move back into the mansion and you'll get plenty of writing content just from what you overhear. Also that notebook??? Now that I'm living here I'm reading the whole thing as if it's a novel

Comte

You're way too much of a dad figure for me to ever fall for you. Stop trying to be mysterious and trying to make a little plan on your head and then never talk about your feelings.

Sebastian

Flick me one more time and I'm going to deck you, you twink. Also reading your notebook like it's a New York Times bestseller. He needs a different hobby other than being a stalker. He's honestly boring. You're from modern times but you never talk about your actual interests

Vlad

First off, you're literally killing your kids. Second, how could you not tell that I'm the one in the painting. It's nearly identical. Also I don't understand your plan at all. Makes almost no sense to me. Go big and kill the humans or go home bud.

Faust

YOU KIDNAPPED ME. DRANK MY BLOOD. THREATENED EVERYONE I LIVED WITH. AND YOURE TRYING TO TELL ME YOU AREN'T A BAD GUY?????

Charles

Babies route isn't out yet therefore he's perfect.

Actually tho: can't say anything about his route but he's giving yandere vibes to the point where he'd probably hurt himself if you told him to bc he loves you so much.

[lazyveran]

omg i just read the Ty Lee Azula Katara situationship. Well now of course you need to elaborate on Mai. What's her relationship with Azula and Katara like? does Ty Lee have a similar thing with Zuko and Mai, as her other besties? What is wrong with Mai, bc i get the feeling you've tossed her in a salad spinner as well?

thank you so much. mai is also being whirled around in the salad spinner. miserably, might i add.

mai for me is someone is who is clinging very VERY tightly to the past, and absolutely refuses to deviate from it. ty lee, azula and zuko are her childhood friends? thats IT. thats all the friends she wants or needs. in her mind any change from that past is bad, wrong, and must be reversed back to safe, normal comfort. this is in part because she was happy and innocent and free right up until tom-tom was born - then she was the spare, seen not heard, not understood by her mother, choked into silence, captivity and an intense depressive state. tom-tom's arrival into her life is so bad that mai goes "ah yes, new people? or My People changing into something i didnt expirence before the age of 12? BAD. KILL WITH HAMMERS." and even though she does love her baby brother, she despises the circumstance he brought her. (she's far more like azula than either of them want to admit. they keep seeing glimpses of themselves in the other, like a shattered reflection of what they could have become - silent and meek, or unloved and monsterous. they never talk about it.)

the fire squad is her one and only support network, and she becomes uncomfortably co-dependant. no one else will do. no one else understands. they're comfortable, normal, the shining happy past that she wants to claw back to. she's loved by them, and understood implicity bc of their shared past. thats all she wants. so she's very, very intensely devoted to them, and especially to zuko. her and azula aren't emotional supports to each other, but they are indeed best friends. they both apprieciate each other's loyalty and stability. mai is comfortable with any change that happens around azula - or Her People - because azula is this steadfast, unmoving pillar in her life. azula values mai highly for her skill, intelligence and general disposition. they're the bitchest besties ever who murder for fun.

SO. if she literally cant handle ty lee, azula or zuko changing into something else. at all. then you can imagine her reaction to katara barrelling in and changing up the vibe of their foursome. mai is outright hostile to katara. she's irritable, grouchy, and does her utmost to pretend katara doesnt exist at all. in her mind, katara is forcing their group to change, taking azula away from their terrible little co-dependency circle. change? bad. threaten the new woman with knives. and quickly. make sure azula is apart from that new woman and back in the safe co-dependency circle. if anything changes - if azula changes - she'll turn into dust.

and on ty lee! she DOES. zuko and mai dating isnt too big a deal for her because they still pay attention to her, and the afformentioned co-dependant stability thing overrides her annoyance that they're not looking and seeing her. but if someone flirts with zuko, or mai? its over. shes throwing a tantrum, getting the person to flirt with HER instead, or flirting with zuko/mai. bc WHY is no one looking at her? helloooo???

mai and ty lee get along famously because mai hates change and people, and ty lee gets to hoard mai greedily to herself. its the perfect arrangement, she can farm all the attention she wants from mai and is guaranteed to it. and mai doesnt care about ty lee wandering off to other friendgroups because she always comes back. and it's funny, ty lee makes things not boring.

[alexxncl]

who fell first, who fell harder (brothers)

based on the og game, lesson 16+ spoilers

masterlist | more drabbles/hcs | dateables edition

luci

this might be unpopular but he did both

it just took him forever to realize bc he was too caught up in making sure mc didn’t get themselves killed

always went easy on them whenever they got in trouble

pushed his pride to the side *shockingly* whenever they got hurt

would be one of the first to help them whenever they needed anything and gave in to everything they asked for with no prompting

realized how down bad he was after they studied together one night, he fell asleep at his desk and they brought a blanket over and put a pillow under his head so he'd be more comfortable

woke up with hot coffee, breakfast, and a note telling him to take better care of himself with the bed half made, he realized mc stayed in the room with him the whole night

connected the dots right before he made a pact with them in lesson 20 (?) and confessed to them after they [redacted]

mc always saw through his stuck up act, sympathized with him once they realized he genuinely cared about their well being

started spending more time with him after the lesson 16 incident

he forbade them from going to school until they fully recovered from everything that happened, insisted on walking them to school every day

the stereotypical kdrama tripping and falling into the person's arms while they walked to school

they confessed after the whole pact situation right before they left the devildom

mams

we all know he did both like let's be fr

"first man"

i love him sm y'all dont understand

every time he needed help, he'd go to them

every time he was feeling insecure, he'd go to them

he noticed little changes in their demeanor and always did his best to cheer them up if something was wrong

not exactly a love at first sight thing, but real close to it

quite literally broke down in their arms the day before they left the devildom

all his brothers picked up on it and teased him relentlessly, he had to talk to lucifer to even build up the courage to confess

and even then it took him until the night before they left

mc was oblivious as hell to his feelings which is crazy bc he did nothing to hide them

they saw through his tsundere act and warmed up to him the fastest

honestly they fell not long after he did but they didn't wanna say anything out of fear of ruining their friendship

the lesson 16 incident shook him up so badly that he clung to them for weeks after it, he didn't let belphie anywhere near them even after apologizing

yelled at the brothers whenever they talked shit and called him names, they almost always went too far and it always got to him

after they went back to the human realm, he skipped class and dealt with being strung up by luci just to see them

levi

levi fell first, mc fell harder

HEAR ME OUT

he'd invite them over to game with him and watch anime at ungodly hours of the night

they're awful at videogames so he'd let them win just to see them get all excited

don't tell his brothers that though

when they slept over, they made sure he got out of his habit of oversleeping so he could avoid lectures

helped him with his anxiety since they also dealt with it

with mc, they empathized with his anxiety/depression and spent as much time with him as possible whenever he had his episodes

saw how much he cared for his brothers and his pet(s) and, eventually, how much he cared about them

they opened up to him about their insecurities and he did his best to reassure and relate to them so they felt less alone

they confessed to him first bc of mammon's encouragement, he knew his brother wouldn't be able to do it without prompting

they did it a few weeks before they left the devildom so they'd have time together

after the lesson 16 incident, he'd always go to their room with manga or a console to try to take their mind off of what happened

every time they went out together, he'd be in his demon form and have his tail wrapped around either their ankle or their wrist/hand subconsciously

satan

satan fell first, mc fell harder

again, hear me out

the first thing he noticed about their interactions with him was their lack of fear

they were so much less powerful and more fragile in comparison to him, but that didn't deter them from wanting to get close to him

in true tsundere fashion, he tried pushing them away once he realized his feelings

that didn't work and they tried spending more time with him to see why he started acting weird

THEN they ended up falling for him

how he acted like he didn't care for his brothers but went out if his way to make sure they were ok

how he was able to be vulnerable with them about his insecurities and self hatred bc of his birth

how they got to see his soft side with belphie and cats

his reaction to the lesson 16 incident also pushed them over the edge

his entire angry demeanor crumbled, he always had new book recs and brought them cats when he had to go to school si they wouldn't be alone

they confessed first, but it was right before they left bc they were too scared of rejection

asmo

mc fell first, asmo fell harder

mc never fell for his "me, me, me" attitude and got him to open up easily

they found themself gravitating towards his room whenever they needed a pick me up, he'd always be down to give them a spa day

despite his sin, he never overstepped with the sexual jokes and advances

it starred off as a tiny crush, but mc realized it was more than that after a really bad day for asmo, they got to take care of him the way he took care of them

asmo was head over heels after that, never left their side

he stopped trying to act like he wasn't insecure about his position in the devildom or his looks, he was more comfortable opening up about his struggles

even tho mc fell first, asmo confessed like a month before they had to leave the devildom

the lesson 16 incident had him clinging to them 100 times more than he had before, lucifer had to pry him away from them so he could go to school

the day they left the devildom was full of tears

beel

mc fell first, beel fell harder

he has such a big heart and he's trusting of everyone, his openness helped mc become more comfortable around him

he only gets angry in regards to his sin or his family, and he considered mc family very early on

they'd start packing extra snacks in their bookbag when they knew they had classes with him, and id they weren't in school, they'd have them in their pockets

after a really stressful day, mc went to beel for consolation, and he dragged them to the kitchen after wrapping them up in one of belphies weighted blankets to try and fix them a beel-sized meal to make them feel better

seeing how easily he'd drop everything to make sure they were ok

seeing how gentle he was with them despite his size and strength

seeing how happy he looked when talking about his family

him allowing himself to be vulnerable about belphie and lilith

all of it boiled over when he cooked for them, they confessed on the spot

he was caught off guard, but realized after some thinking that he felt the same and didn't realize it

they moved slowly, and while beel navigated his feelings for them, he realized how much he cared about them

giving them extra servings when it was his turn to cook, and when it wasnt, he'd slide some of his food onto their plate

going to their room to talk if he had a nightmare about the celestial war

asking satan and luci what the best ways to deal with anxiety were

making sure they drank enough water

and after the lesson 16 incident, his feelings were all over the place

he was angry at himself, angry at lucifer, angry at belphie, but never angry at mc

he didn't want to be angry with belphie, but once mc (reluctantly) forgave him, he and belphies relationship was fixed

they spent their last days in the devildom together going to all of his favorite restaurants and food trucks

belphie

belphie did both.

he hated the human. he hated all humans. he had to, for lilith.

he manipulated them, lied to them, betrayed their trust, he KILLED them

so why did he feel so guilty about it?

why did he find himself gravitating towards their room every day before school, waking up early just to peek through the crack in their door to see how they were doing, disobeying lucifer's direct orders?

why did every flinch of theirs leave him with a gaping hole in his chest?

no matter how many times he apologized, he never felt like he truly deserved forgiveness

but they were so kind, so understanding, so infuriatingly sweet to him despite everything he did

he loved them, and he do everything in his power to show it, even if they never felt the same

mc saw how much he was hurting, they saw how much his actions affected him, how he was trying to be a better person

the brothers would understand if they never forgave him, but why did they feel inclined to?

they were never really asleep when he snuck by their room to check on them, he had to have known that

his brothers spoiled him the way he spoiled them

after learning to navigate their friendship, mc realized what they felt was deeper than whatever platonic feelings they thought they had

they were in the attic, belphie ranting about one of his anti-lucifer-league schemes failing, and they kissed him

they spent their remaining weeks in the devildom attached to his hip, much to the brothers' disdain, but they couldn't hide how relieved they were at his sudden change of heart towards humans

[fraternum-momentum]

killing stalking ramble belowww

!! tws for mentions of sa/rape, murder, abuse, etc. !!

(REALLY REALLY long, around 2k~ words. just be warned. also tmi in some parts.)

THIS IS NOT AN ANALYSIS !!!!! it def gets analytical in some parts, but i feel like i would need to reread ks a couple of times for me to feel confident enough to do a full blown analysis for it. these are just my thoughts that i want to get out of my head. really rambly for the most part, and separated into sections mostly for my convenience buy also to get my thoughts a little more organized.

what do i think about it?

it's great ! i really love the more thriller-ey aspects of it, esp when seungbae was investigating the whole thing. how he's trying to piece together everything and switching in between pov's was so so cool. love love love how extremely tense everything is, like ooo is he gonna get caught? is he gonna get killed?

ACAB but seungbae is the only police officer i'll salute to 🫡 (bc he's not real LMFAO)(and also he hates the police despite being one so)

season 1 is a great intro and it rlly gets u hooked, rlly went in super hard with the whole torture stuff. came in guns blazing n stuff. rlly rlly intense. the whole thing with jieun is just so sad man,,,,,,, like she was rude and all and she was an kind of an asshole to bum but i don't think she deserves to die over that 😭,,,,

there's also already a lot of foreshadowing and future callbacks planted into it. it makes me wonder how much planning went into the story :0 !! even early on it's pretty clear that sangwoo sees his mum in yoonbum, that's why he kept taking care of him after abusing him. he said ‘i love you’ out of the blue and bum thought he was talking to him and sangwoo replied ‘i was talking to my mom’. i mean, it's literally spelled out by the author in one of the qna's. i will be amazed if u didn't catch that somehow.

anyw season 2 is my fav because of reasons stated above. the tension is rlly great. when seungbae finally trespassed which led to the confrontation at the basement scene to when they were doing the interrogation was rlly rlly good. it shows how competent of a manipulator and a quick thinker sangwoo is. throughout it my heart was beating so fast i was so nervous JQHSHQ

seungbae rlly tried to pull through but unfortunately the people didn't believe him so woo and bum got away SCOT FREE,,,,,,, which caused seungbae to lash out on woo, then got laid off. DUDEEE i was so saddddddd, i mean i saw there were like 40 eps left so i knew he wasnt going to succeed but STILLLL i was cheering for him ykkk?

ep 34.

kinda tmi and i hope to fucking god it's not weird or anything but i can see myself in yoonbum.

LISTEN ok. not like the perverted stalker aspects. more of the whole jwhhr fuckk idk how to describe it without sounding pathetic or whatever but a while ago my brother and i had a talk about being careful with people bc of how bad my whole self esteem is and how easily i would be to manipulate and just how depressing my whole demeanor was or whatever and this scene in ep 34 where yoonbum was being interrogated by seungbae kind of left me a deep impression on me

i've def have asked myself something similar to this, idk maybe had talked to someone abt it when i was drunk as shit. but it i kind of started wondering if i would do that in his position. if i don't get any better, could i end up like him? eeeeeqjdb idkk its something i don't want to dwell on much but it's been at the back of my head ever since. i don't know. it's scary.

season 3 is more focused on characterization and developing the "relationship" between bum and woo. vv sangwoo centric. it deals with his past trauma and how it affected him. seeing how his childhood was initially and then the eventual reveal as to what really was happening in those scenes was so good. kind of shows how you never truly know what's happening behind closed doors. and it shows the extent of the abuse, how unstable his mother was, and how emotionally manipulative she was to sangwoo when he was a kid. then her eventual death in which she managed to gaslight him into thinking he killed her. at least, i think its implied that she drove the knife into her neck. and now, even when she's gone, her presence lingers and haunts him. quite literally too because its eventually revealed that her corpse was INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

i love how the dynamic turned from a dependency to a codependency. it's like watching a fire slowly spiral out and it becoming an huge shitstorm. it's interesting seeing that sangwoo needs bum too. right after he accidentally called bum 'mom' while they were having sex, that's probably the lowest he's been in, even begging yoonbum to not go and stay with him at home bc he's been so paranoid lately. even now i'm still not sure if bum was actually fucking the girl or if it was all a figment of woo's hallucinations.

there's a lot of particular scenes that i want to dedicate a small paragraph to but i don't want to make this longer that it alr is qkdh they're not anything life changing plus the implications are p clear anyway so,,

ending is insane. at first, i was kind of glad that bum seemed to be healing. like he was getting therapy, there was a person who was taking care of him, seungbae seems to be monitoring him regularly. i mean, he was still paranoid and stuff about being caught as an acomplice but he was fine for the most part. well, at least that was i thought until he started asking where sangwoo was and i kinda went oh no,,,

idkkkkk is it bad that i kind of felt bad for bum when he didn't get to see sangwoo for the last time? i mean, i want him to just move on with everything and heal but it was pretty clear he was still vv attached to woo so idkkkkk?? maybe its just me needing to have some closure or something? i was so sad that yoonbum didn't even get the chance to be truly happy in his life. even in his happiest moments with sangwoo, it was all just a skewed perception of love.

yk even if seungbae didn't go to woo's house one last time for that final confrontation, i feel like their codependent relationship would go to shit either way. but ahh,,,,,, bum deserved so much better,,,

seungbae my goat 🫡

small part abt him bc he's my fav

seungbae is interesting,,,, bc he def has violent tendencies much like sangwoo. i.e. lashing out at woo, wacking a guy out with a scanner (who, luckily, turned out to be a wanted criminal), hitting the guy who killed his father with a the golf club, dreaming and fantasizing about violently killing that said murderer multiple times, and probably more that i can't remember.. maybe a ‘two sides of the same coin’ kind of situation??? idkk

there's literally a part where seungbae said so himself that he and sangwoo were similar, immediately following it by saying that it was a dangerous thought. i think having a stable figure in his life (chief officer) helped him a lot. if he didn't have him, i feel like he could've easily ended up like sangwoo. all around green flag tho :3

my complicated feelings abt it:

idkkkkkkkkkkkkk like this is a thriller and it depicts a clearly abusive relationship but the fact that it feels so fanservicey to me feels so wrong to me ???????? like shit. i only started reading it bc i thought 'oh wasn't this bl or something? i don't remember lol. but sangwoo was hot, i should go read it' and proceeded to get my ass blasted with this is absolutely insane.

ok i'm gonna be completely honest i've always hated fanservice, so it's a completely biased take from me. like idkk it ruins the vibe of a scene. can't a good show just be a good show without all the panty shots and the weird ass angles?????? like okay, yeah, i literally draw porn but that doesnt mean i want porn/sexual in everything all the time.

like i get it. the sexual aspect of this is a necessary and integral thing. it's clearly there to depict that there's an imbalance of power. how sangwoo being on top feels more in control whereas when he's in a position of submission he gets angry or scared (a trauma response) and it's another aspect of abuse that a lot of characters experienced and it's all shown. but i think my issue is, when its with woo and bum there's like certain part to it where i'm just kinda like,,,,, you know that feeling when you feel like a sex scene in a movie is kind of going on for way too long? and ur just sitting there mildly uncomfortable by it and aughggyvh idkkk its weird,,,,,,, like should i keep watching or is this integral to the story???? am i going to miss any details or something anyone would say ?? and idk???????? like when bum or woo was sa'ed by adults they didn't depict it in such a,,,,,,, romantic?? light???? i'm not sure what to say but i feel like there's a difference in ambience and pacing and shit in a bunch of the scenes esp in season 3 but i guess it's bc they're in a 'relationship' ?????? idkk

in a way i can understand why they would present it like that ??? i'm probably reaching, but maybe it's to directly put the viewer in yoonbum's shoes and kind of see how sangwoo manipulates bum? like we as the viewer become victims ourselves of sangwoo's charms ????? maybe that's why it was psrticularly uncomfortable for me ??????????? dude idk,,,,

but like,, i've played btd/tpof before but i don't seem to have any problems with it, and that's literally torture porn or whatever but for some reason i draw the line at this apparently ????????

and i’ve thought about this really hard bc it was driving me nuts as to what the difference was. but maybe its bc it's kind of romanticizing it ??????????????? tbh i'm still not entirely sure. eh whatever i don't want to make it a big problem.

oh but fray, you draw noncon, dubcon, and gore ! arent you fetishizing it as well ? how is that any different ?

(this part is kind of tmi too) i think there's a fundamental difference between what i'm doing and having a cnc kink and depicting actual sa in a story.

no one is saying sa is not bad. for some people it's how they deal with the trauma they endured and for others its simply just a fantasy. cnc, in a real life setting, both parties are consenting and recognize that it's all just roleplay, if anything is out of the line you can opt out of it with a safeword and it's CRUCIAL that this safe word is respected. in a game like for example, dol, you can manipulate it into however you like. there's also cheats where you can just remove encounters altogether irrc. you're the one in control of the narrative.

i've had rape fantasies before (i play dol, don't be so surprised) but that doesn't mean i want to be fucking assaulted when i go out at night. and idk maybe like in ks it depicts all the gruesome and tragic parts of being abused, whether it be emotionally, sexually, physically, etc. and that's why it feels wrong framing it in that manner ????

idk my views about it aren't completely black and white. dude idfk i'm not an expert in anything. at the end of the day i'm just some random person who read killing stalking and just has some thoughts about it. anyw that's all 👍

[cdroloisms]

like as far as the finale streams go, there's quite a bit that we can say preeeetty definitively were lies. c!dream literally goes into this whole thing like "this is the part where we monologue at you" to c!tommy, which is taking the credibility of literally everything he's saying and cutting it at LEAST by 80%

(me too tubbo)

the saw trap, rather definitively, was 100% bullshit top to bottom. i mean, come on now. dream literally gives him steak that they could've used to depress the pressure plate, and he's completely unsurprised about the two of them surviving. plus he literally added a bonus "WE'RE DOING THIS BECAUSE WE'RE EVIL" thing. like, laughably fake.

along those same lines, i mean, the "we killed vikk and lazar in every possible way for months" doesn't seem credible in the slightest. first of all, what months? unless they were doing so post-prison (and they continued to do so...after they supposedly found out about revivals causing instability???) -- and the whole point of bringing that up in the first place was pretty much just to set up for the saw trap. any and all death experimentation seems kinda limited by the fact that XD was apparently getting pissed over it

speaking of which, have we considered how funny it is that like there's a good chance that fewer problems were caused by the revival experiments compared to like. foolish dying from fall damage while building. bc foolish SURE DID DIE A LOT

i also want to bring up the "bring an army here to fight against us" moment just because it's ... so overt. i don't think it's a lie, but was dream like more than heavy-handed in hinting at what he wanted tommy and tubbo to do? holy shit yea

like, it's giving "talking about putting c!tommy in the prison" levels of overt.

the rest of it gets...a little murkier though, and in part because c!dream seems to at least, to some degree, contradict himself? i mean, what he says about death being permanent is SUCH a glaring example of this

like, he's clearly got some strong opinions on the permanence of death and revivals that he brings up. a lot. but at the same time, death being impermanent is also a problem...

...and specifically, a problem in the eyes of the god here. which is accurate--we've seen XD specifically make a whole Thing about how he needs souls, how he needs death. (though it does look like he's also kinda...beholden? to something? when he mentions that too, which is interesting.)

and look, here, too, when talking about death:

like i think it's pretty undeniable that c!dream...doesn't. actually want people to die. he's got an issue with this whole death thing. like--look at what he says, even, about the fact that they have to kill everyone? he literally calls it a problem. hell, when he could, by all means, technically get "closer" to his goals by killing c!clingy, he doesn't take it. he even revives tommy after killing him.

he's very explicit about not wanting death in the final stream, as we see here:

i've seen a few interpretations about what dream wanted being to, essentially, become immortal with punz after killing everyone. and i always didn't really agree, though i couldn't pinpoint specifics either--for one, the specific point of "only you two will be left" is something that tubbo points out first, not either dream nor punz. further, when dream mentions who would be left after "killing everyone," he actually specifically doesn't say that it's about the dream and punz show and the dream and punz show only--it's a choice of "join us in our research or die."

further...well, it's rather antithetical to what have been c!dream's stated motivations the entire time, right? dream doesn't want peace on the server in terms of just having like one (1) other person around that agrees with him or whatever. and again, there have been some mentioned contradictions just from these two streams alone. but looking at the contents of these last two streams again, and especially looking at the focus c!dream has on "everyone living forever and being friends and being invincible and the server being completely vanilla again" plus the return of mr. "end justifies the means", i can 100% see some kind of plan where--facing an immediate world reset--c!punz and c!dream decide to go for plan "kill people to appease the god while gathering anyone that's willing to do research with us to Figure Out How To Fix Things." the emphasis that c!dream presents on death not mattering, calling the revive book the "greatest thing" that's happened to the server, even, going "yeah it might hurt, but we can go back" seem to suggest that everyone that was babyjailed in limbo in the meantime would then be able to be revived after they idfk kill god or whatever.

like. i don't think they actually have Too Much of a plan, though we don't know that much bc we don't know how much their research went into. hell, we don't even know how much XD is actually involved in all of this! the events that trigger everything that happens looks to be almost completely out of punz and dream's control--they didn't seem to expect or even know about the nuke, they weren't involved in the egg hatching, and they weren't with eret and foolish fighting XD. all they did was...well punz revives dream and dream kills and revives tommy. (which, ironically, also what they literally said they shouldn't have done because it's what caused the instability????) -- as i pointed out in the last post, i'd say a degree of like "this is inevitable nothing matters" definitely affects c!dream in these streams, with the end of the world kind of happening around him. but as for whatever goal he DID seem to be working towards, the idea of doing research + wanting knowledge + murder for like, an actual purpose that aligns with earlier stated goals (preserving the server and making it so that people can live in peace without being haunted by death and pain and destruction) feels like it reads relatively well with what we know about 1) XD having to do with the reset, and the server being a cycle that involves worlds coming into existence and ending over and and over and over again and 2) what c!dream says in these streams, specifically referring to his stated end goal of living forever with everyone and not simply striving for immortality in its own right

[falst]

bestie can i know more about this coin guy of yours. your posting has intrigued me

^ THIS GUY !!

my coin thing tag has a lot about him and his friends (mostly art, I leave most of my textposts untagged lol) But Coins an OC I've had since around the beginning of the year who took over my brain bc Im a fan of guys with long hair and issues lmao. More about him under the cut bc this was a lot longer than I had expected

He a traveling huntsman (not a fancy term, hes just really good at hunting animals) who lost an arm in a "hunting accident" he would not talk about if someone tried to waterboard it out of him. (had a nasty argument with his former hunting partners, fucked off, got his arm cut off. never told anyone what happened)

To most he comes across hes a tired guy who seems at least somewhat disconnected from the world around him whos looking for jobs to get the money he needs to keep himself alive and not much else. That is until he saves a rich girl named Charlotte from some sort of monster thing (I havent figured out what it is yet), and she offers him a job as a guard as she travels to a southern country. He agrees due to the pay being good, despite the fact hes been isolating himself from people for years bc of severe depression 'people are annoying'. Along the way the two pick up some other weirdos, mostly bc Charlottes really friendly and likes to pick up new friends, much to Coins annoyance.

Things then Happen, Occur even, but I am saving those for later. BUT!! some other, non. idk. spoilery fun facts about him are;

He grew up in a small countryside village where he learned to hunt and swordfight

His father left when he was really little and he sees no reason to care about him. His mother owns and works in the towns butcher shop and taught him to hunt. He's also got an older brother and younger sister

His younger sister is a recently turned werewolf who got drafted into a secret vampire turf war bc the vampires, for some reason, thought she was a vampire. There is one (1) vampire who knows shes a werewolf who she has insane toxic yuri with. He knows about literally none of this

He was extremely proficient with a bow before losing his arm, and also fought with dual swords. He really misses doing both of these

He was left handed. Lost his left arm

He has chronic insomnia and after being knocked out with sleeping powder by Charlottes pirate bestie (long story), he started snorting it to get to sleep bc straight up cant otherwise. They later meet and begin traveling with a doctor who almost kills him over this

He's not a magic user but seems completely immune to side effects caused by spells that happen to non-mages as a result of their bodies not being used to magic. Odd!

Theres a pink haired guy who he keeps running into at bars and inns who is ridiculously in love with him. Coin hates him and wants nothing to with him

Coins name means something relating to hunting in his native language, and he chose his name without knowing it was a term for currency in the second language he learns to speak later. He decided to stick with it

IRL his name came from me going "damn. I have no idea what to name this guy." and a friend of mine going "COIN" immediately after. I said I could not possibly name him that and then did

Coin and Charlotte are literally the only two people/things I have named for this thing despite having it for months bc I am really bad at naming things

He gets a gun at some point

[berrypass-de-murdler]

79. Murder at the Movies

I'm currently very sad because

a) my depressive streak is not ending nor getting better

b) MY AUREOLIN PLUSH IS MISSING

It says she was delivered and she was in the mailbox and she is not there. And now we have to complain about a missing package.

And of all the packages to go missing, it's the one with something completely irreplaceable.

Here's the draft for Pearl, AGE, designed by Fletch. She is a vaporer moth, a species in which females lack wings, although she has a more ant/spider-like face. She speaks in an Australian accent that is so thick, she's nearly completely unintelligible. This is just a draft, Fletch will make her full official artwork eventually.

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico decides to see a movie, bc this season is about movies.

LOGICO: Even though all murder movies are actually BAD. Unless I’m in it. 

The usher is dead!

LOGICO: Well, that’s more entertaining than the movie would have been.

Unfortunately, Blaxton, Smoky, and that Dusty idiot from one season one episode had the same idea. And some insect lady named Pearl, American Guild of Editors.

PEARL: OI, MAY. NOISSA MEECHU. NAYM PUUHL. A-MEE-WAKEN GILLA EDIT US. LOGICO: …

Suspect time.

BLAXTON: I’m sorry, I HAVE to get my movie made! I can’t live without it, and I couldn’t have anyone in the way! LOGICO: That was the earliest confession we’ve ever had. BLAXTON: I’m not confessing to the MURDER, what the fuck! I’m talking about my obviously poisoned popcorn!

He inhales some and passes out. Even though he's a puppet. Pearl slides a dagger into her purse.

LOGICO: Why do you have a dagger, unless you killed a person. PEARL: I’MOY SELF-EFFENSE DAGG’UH! ‘CASE A PRICK!

Smoky launders in the corner.

SMOKY: I wish I could kill. It seems like everyone else has done it but me. Am I just not strong enough? I know I’m big enough. I can do it… can’t I? Oh father, oh father, why have the stars gone by? Oh father, oh father, why- LOGICO: WELL, that’s enough.

That means the only person who could have done it was Dusty! Or, y’know, someone’s lying. Logico shivers as he thinks of what he has to do next…

IRRATINO: Logico, it’s good to hear from you. LOGICO: STOP IT! Your soft voice is making me agile. IRRATINO: I think, if you look, you’ll find a chip of actual bone was discovered in the lobby. Or at least I did when I was remote viewing from house arrest. LOGICO: You’re watching me? IRRATINO: Yea… LOGICO: EVERYWHERE?!? IRRATINO: …no?...

Logico pouts. So gay! <3 Turns out he didn’t even need to admire his goat, because Dusty really DID do it. Honesty pays, kids!

DUSTY: We were watching the movie, and he told me about his idea for a mystery film, and it was so good, I had to have it! So I killed him, yeah! But now I have his idea, and if they don’t let me make the movie, then I won’t share it with everyone, and only I will enjoy it! LOGICO: Literally everyone hates you. PEARL: WEH NAW, OY-KEN GE’A BEYA SATE DEN EH? BLAXTON: And I can make my movie! SMOKY: And I can kill my first person!

So it all worked out after all.

The end!

I cried drawing this I'm so fucking sad right now

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[crushedsweets]

neeed to hear the context behind ur most recent art. please enlighten us

you guys dont even know how excited i get when someone asks smth like this abt my art or headcanons or au.

i actually wrote liek a fucking essay oh my god im so sorry anon ill have the actual drawing context after the big bolded caps

TW for typical creepypasta story type stuff

anyway ok UNNECESSARY BACKSTORY: liu spent a long time trying to just psychologically recover from everything. he hated jeff and he hated the memory of everything. jeff signature murders would occur every now and again, each time liu would fall into a deep depression. the murders stopped for a while, and everyone believed jeff 'retired' or died. liu was conflicted about it. until Jeff committed his final full-blown 'jeff fashion' murder (janes family) in tuscaloosa alabama. liu had another breakdown and ended up moving to tuscaloosa because he was completely convinced he needed to find jeff again because he could fix it (or die trying and he'd be fine with that too)

nina was always one of those girls obsessed with 'true crime' but like.... the murderers instead of the cases. she was 12 when jeff's first rampage happened and she just fell head over heels in love with this freak. she began to act out, miss school for days, sneaking out to meet older people, etc etc. eventually she did the classic jeff smile cut into her face(she pussied out on making it like jeffs, so she has cleaner, less noticeable scars) . she started getting severely bullied (for being creepy and worshipping a literal murderer) and her parents sent her to live with her grandparents in mississpi. she started stalking liu through social media and whitepages when jeff was presumed dead. but eventually, jeff's final murder happened in alabama(a state away from her) and after turning 18, she ran away to go find jeff convinced he would 'save her' from the life she created for herself. nina got wrapped up in slenderman business because of her constant Tom Foolery. she met her idol

JEFF IS A BAD PERSON IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. he did a beautiful job in using his #1 fangirl and enjoying the worship. she scrambled for pennies to afford an apartment, she'd sleep on the couch if he wanted to use her bed, she's ride her bike hours to go get weed or something from rando drug dealers that give better deals to pretty girls, make him food, do his damn laundry, literally anything and everything bc THATS HER MAAANNNNN (no he isnt.)

jeff DOES NOT GIVE A FUUUCK about everything nina does for him . one day he finds her trying to creepily get into contact with liu (and liu actually responded) and he loses his shit and stabs her and goes on and on about how 'you ruined your own useless fucking life your family is never going to take you back you did this to yourself' etc. he didn't intend to kill her only cuz he knew she'd forgive him and he liked all the shit she gave him

NOW ABOUT THE DRAWING ITSELF:::::

afterwards nina gets patched up from jeff stabbing her, she has some weird 'liu will save me' spiral (not romantically just in a very literal 'he can fix this' way). liu's been on his own spiral since finding out jeffs alive which is the only reason he even gave nina the time of day. eventually she ends up at his house to 'talk about jeff' bc she sent him creepy pics proving she knew jeff yadayadayada.

im not sure the exact conversation i imagined for the drawing, BUT liu eventually says something that sets nina off and she tears at her stitches and breaks down and drips blood all over his kitchen talking about 'I CAN MAKE HIM LOVE ME AGAIN I JUST NEED YOUR HELP PLEAAASEEEE' or something.

liu's a good man, much to his own detriment, and can't help but comfort this kid who's bleeding and crying in his kitchen at the fault of his own brother. he's all too familiar with wanting to repair his relationship with jeff, despite the amount of rage, betrayal, misery, etc he felt at jeffs hands. he doesn't ACTUALLY want to reconnect with jeff, but it's a very deep internal longing for the baby brother he once had that VERY RARELY overshadows his hatred

i want to reaffirm that liu does not feel positively about jeff at all, does not want to see him, and only moved to alabama b/c of a long ass mental health crises and is now too wrapped up in new financial commitments(plus jane) to move again. and now he feels obligated to help nina

he just misses being a big brother :( not so much the jeff part

also none of this at all is shipping at all i am terrified at the idea of people taking anything romantically . even if nina is in 'love' with jeff its purely for the story/horror . ITS ALL REALLY BAD