#but I lost it midway through

[another-goblin]

Doc and Gambler: An essay A disjointed musing

I've been thinking about the words they use to address or refer to each other. Gambler and Doctor are rather special nicknames. I can't think of other characters who talk to each other a lot but avoid calling each other by actual names so deliberately.

First of all, of course I can see it as a sign of their relationship. They are old friends, so it makes sense that they have cute special names for each other.

Can there be other explanations?

1. We never see them use each other's actual first names.

It's understandable with Aventurine. If he's ever comfortable being called Kakavasha, it's definitely not now. And I can understand if he'd prefer Kakavasha to just remain a happy, innocent child in his memories forever.

It's more interesting with Ratio. Nobody calls him just "Veritas" (I think?..) He's referred to as Veritas Ratio in some official situations in his character stories. Even his elderly professor, who talks about teaching Ratio when he was a child, only calls him "Ratio."

Actually, I remember a theory that "Veritas" isn't a personal name but a kind of honorific. Maybe a title that Veritas University gives to its most distinguished members. But if Veritas is his actual first name, then I think it's quite significant that nobody seems to call him that. Especially while all of the other characters who have identifiable western-style first and second names are mostly referred to by their first name. (I'm sorry, I don't know how the Xianzhou characters' names work.)

A little off topic, but is Ratio even his real name? According to the wiki, his full name means "truth of the matter," and his Chinese name means "doctor truth." What a coincidence that a person with such a name became a famous scientist. Although there can be other explanations too.

2. They do use each other's more commonly used names sometimes (I think Ratio called him Aventurine once in the game when discussing him with us, and Aventurine addressed Ratio by name a couple of times). But it's mostly nicknames. Mostly Doc(tor) and Gambler, but also "learned professor," "knowledgeable friend," and a hundred of silly ways Ratio refers to Aventurine. I made a whole post about it long ago.

3. Can it be because all of their direct interaction happened in Penacony, in the middle of a murder mystery somewhat reminiscent of the board game Clue, with our little "Mrs. Peacock" and "Professor Plum" here just imitating the naming conventions of such a game? Like archetypes from a classical detective story, where most characters can be described with one word like that. But it's a bit of a crack theory.

4. The only situation we saw them talking to each other was when they had to play their roles for Sunday.

It's interesting that Sunday later proceeds to call Ratio just "doctor" or "learned doctor" too, the way Aventurine did. I mean, strictly speaking, there isn't anything unusual in calling a doctor "doctor", but it's funny in an awkward way. Imagine two close friends having special names for each other. And then a complete stranger who's been eavesdropping starts using these names too. Umm, that's "Dr. Ratio", Mr. Sunday, thank you very much.

Btw, that's another point to the theory that Sunday only knows (and tries to use against them) the things they deliberately fed him through their conversations.

So it might be that they did it deliberately for Sunday to hear. Like, see? we are so not friends that we don't even call each other by name. But then we see them using similar words when mentioning each other while talking to other people, and in Aventurine's thoughts too (in mission descriptions during Double Indemnity).

5. Although it might still be the way for them to try and distance themselves from each other, at least verbally, trying to deny the obvious special connection between them.

6. Or maybe it's about their "masks". They both have public personas to hide their real selves behind. (Ratio directly tells us about it and wears a literal mask to hide behind, and Aventurine's whole Harmony ordeal was basically to show his inner self, so unlike the confident and cocky Aventurine other people know.)

But they know each other better and see deeper than just their public personas of "Aventurine" and "Dr. Ratio". And it's still too early in their relationship to prod deeper ("Kakavasha" and "Veritas"). So a secret third thing it is.

[haeoflii]

The girls are gossiping! i wonder what they're talking about?

(click for better quality!)

A silly dialogue I made below:

Cece, whispering into Malleus' ear: Can you believe it!? He said he was busy with a "school project" but in reality he's actually cheating on him with another guy! And that guy turns out to be his boyfriend's best friend!!

Malleus, leaning down even though he can hear her perfectly fine: The nerves of that man.

???, whispering: pssh what are you kids talking about?

Cece: !!!

Lilia pops out of nowhere, which frightened Cece.

Malleus: Hm eavesdropping on us, Lilia?

Lilia: What makes you think that? I've just so happened to walk by when you two were gossiping loudly in the open.

Cece: loudly...!?

Lilia: And while on school grounds too? I thought I raised you better than this!

Cece: Hey! who said we're gossiping? I am merely sharing information based on my personal experience with my dear ol' buddy. And even IF we were gossip–WHICH WE WERE NOT! Gossiping isn't all bad...

Malleus: Child of man said that gossiping can help us bond, increase cooperation, and encourage good behavior and self-reflection.

Lilia: Ah, is that so?

Cece nods her head: Mhm, that's right!!

Lilia: Khee hee perhaps Sebek was right. You really are a bad influence on him, prefect~

Cece: HAAHH!?

[caramelldansenu]

[abd-illustrates]

If it is ok to ask, how much time does your art take in total, more specifically the rendering?

This is gonna sound like a very generic answer lol, but it tends to vary piece to piece!

If it helps though, I try to always show the total time that each individual part of the drawing process (sketch, ink, color) took in real-time in all of my speedpaints, so if you want to know exactly how long the rendering (/colouring) took for any piece on my channel, you should see it written in the bottom-right-corner of the video! (^^)/

[palaceoftears]

Mahi thinking about how forming a family outside the palace would be :c and Gulsah not being capable of letting go💔. They hsve been together for 10 years after all, she doesn't know better than serving her, Mahidevran IS her family as much as Suleyman and the rest is it for Mahi, and so that's why both master and servant were ready to do anything to keep their beloved ones, which only turned to divide them even more after their actions threatened not only a rival, but also the familiar in question (Mahi putting poison on Suleyman's table, Gulsah risking Mahidevran's position by attacking Gulnihal). The two of them also overstep their respective positions by doing so. Mahidevran, a concubine, requires from Suleyman the loyalty he should have for a wife, Gulsah wants to be valuable for Mahi but also to make decisions for both or them, equaling her humilliation to her sultana's when she's just her servant (maybe she also sees herself as Mahidevran's wife 👀, this dialogue is kind of confirming that atp she can't see herself as someone else's soo). And Mustafa works as some type of union between both Suly-Mahi & Mahi-Gulsah, ofc he's an stronger one for the first pair, he's their son, but I think his care for Gulsah recovering may also have influenced Mahidevran giving her other chance, she's been shown to be a second (or third, shall we make ibro and gulsah compete for the role?) mother for him after all, in certain way that makes all of them family too.

There's also the fact that Gulsah is someone her sultana can rely on, the only one that she could truly trust for so many time, she knows every little facet of hers and I think in a palace where you have to always put a facade on, it must be a relief. That's why this just comes as a sincere wish from Mahidevran (in contrast to later, when she just wants to get rid of her servant by marrying her off), for Gulsah to escape what she can't, and it parallels her letting go off Nergissah, only that this time she accepts Gulsah's useful loyalty and keeps her at her service, while in s4 she reachs that selfless stage for which she can actually send her closest ones away. Same that she wanted to do to the only one that serves her at that point, Fidan, even if the later refuses (and Fidan is another old woman so there's not many chances for her, similar to Sumbul/Hurrem but even w less posibilities since she's as poor as Mahi). But what both scenes share is Mahidevran's idea of family as a salvation from sorrow, a new start that she can't give to neither Gulsah or Nergissah and Fidan.

During e25 Mahi herself is trapped in a situation she can't do much against, only staying patient untill she explodes later in the season, while, after Mustafa's death, she's already experienced the happiness of the new start of a family, her granddaughter being all it's left from it... An orphan, in the "spring of her youth", sent to an unknown powerful future husband, whose child she could name Mustafa. It is a little similar to Mahidevran's own story, to the untold part of it and what we know of her before Suleyman's accession to the throne, that she took refuge in his love, they became a family, possibly the reason for her to begin again and never mention her past out loud (and seemingly not even remembering it). And with a new family it comes a new identity, makes a lot of sense Nur refers to Suleyman as a paternal figure for Mahidevran, he's the patriarch of the new household she goes to after all, he gives her life a new meaning, she's his "spring rose"/gulbahar and everything she does has to please him (he even says he's "proud" of her when she gives birth to Mustafa). It caught my attention that, as much as she takes on a maternal role during all of Nergissah's life, she also shows a little bit of that side to Gulsah here, who also shapes her identity in relation to Mahi, dedicating her life to make her happy and proud (and, like Plami pointed out here, Gulsah's name meaning forecasts her ambition for more while ties her all the most to her master). For both women, the struggle is they can't make more mistakes since the families they belong to could discard them (Mahi can send Gulsah outside, she sent her to Edirne once, same place Suleyman warns he could exile his haseki to in e23) but can't truly adapt to the new situation either, what they consider their home it's very unstable and it's doomed to break. As a result, Gulsah will eventually change sides and Mahidevran will redirect her efforts to Mustafa, they're going to become traitors, with the difference Mahi will have the opportunity to begin again far from Topkapi, to form another family with her son, even if once again it will prove to be unstable (tho this time not for internal factors between them, but for external ones).

In certain way, Mahidevran is a nomad through all the series, from an unknown place in the past before she was an slave, to wherever she may have gone to be educated, to Manisa's palace, to Topkapi, to Edirne, Topkapi again, Manisa again, to Amasya and later Bursa. And what's important about that for this post is that everytime she tasted the peace and happiness of family she had to lose it, being it via Suleyman falling out of love with her, the sudden deaths of baby Suleyman, Fatma hatun & Ibrahim pasha or by how the Amasya fam was murdered. She could never rely on the security and the simpleness of the family lives she describes to Gulsah and Nergissah. By the end of the show Mahidevran is symbolically an orphan not only of the parents we don't know, also of the men that gave different meanings to her life inside the system, Suleyman and Mustafa. Still, a little bit of her hope survives with Nergissah escaping this life full of suffering and I find it poetic and very telling that, while we see the damage the succession wars are bringing and Suleyman's obsession for loyalty, Mahi is ready to give up all she has (even if little, but she transfers the servants that remain with her to her granddaughter) for Nergissah to find peace in a new home.

[devastatinglygreen]

I really like hearing your opinion on the things the fandom is hung up on and I haven't seen you say anything yet so I wanted to know what you thought of Colin's entrapment comment?

ohhhh interesting (and thank you tho i am sure you will regret it). i am here to provide 24/7 personalized hot takes so don't worry i will bother everyone with my opinion.

why do i, personally, think he said it? aside from being hurt? i sort of have a very nebulous idea of it that i noticed on a rewatch (yes i will rewatch this season consistently, it's now my among my favorite comfort tv shows along with 2005's p&p (which is a movie i know), that one season of friends, that flea market show i hate (don't ask), and the entirety of bob's burgers) but colin has no idea penelope loves him until episode 6 so it's connected to that.

i am very sorry you were brave enough to ask me a question and now have to read all the nonsense below. god speed.

like, he's flying blind and after the carriage (insert pitbull music...and fingers here) he's pretty insecure that's he's moving a lot faster than she is. it's unsettling to be head over ass in love and feel like you're not worthy of it and then not even be sure where the other person is. that penelope doesn't reciprocate when he first says it to her is noticeable but he moves on so quickly you can sort of assume he doesn't want to give her a chance to, like he's scared of the answer if he asks.

colin waxes poetic about love, about penelope, etc all through eps 5 and 6. he's consumed by it and to be fair, they were on different wavelengths in part 1. she was trying to let him go and move past him and he was stumbling and staring and wanting to die with wanting her while she was like, "hey this guy you hate for no reason likes me, isn't that cool?" and it's pretty fresh for him so i would think something like that lingers.

when she tells him she loves him in ep 6, he's happy. and relieved. i also think he's been expecting bad news (which, you know. it, uh, will be later) so it's a relief to hear that they're on the same page but, and this stuck out to me the first time i heard it, she says she loved him while pretending to be his friend. she corrects herself because of course she was actually his friend but she loved him underneath of it all as well but penelope isn't always the best with words when on the spot and it takes her a moment to calm down and gather her thoughts. the relief (and guilt of him not knowing/reciprocating) is very obvious in the moment and i think he was thrilled to hear that she loved him back.

which leads us to the LW fight. which makes him question if he ever knew her at all. he does, of course he does, but she's been this secret second person who has written about him, his family, her best friend, and her own family for years. penelope's intentions are never malicious when it comes to protecting the people she loves but the execution can leave a fair bit to be desired. she doesn't lie but she isn't always kind, either.

so you have this man beyond in love with a woman he doesn't think he can trust who just admitted she'd loved him for years. it's easy to live in that hurt and anger and assume the worst of someone when they've just betrayed your trust so deeply. it would probably be easy to feel manipulated. i don't think him questioning her motives is beyond the realm of possibility but i do think penelope is better than me because if i get accused of something i didn't do i would act up something fierce (see this is why my husband had to marry me, he had to keep me from terrorizing the rest of the population with my dramatics. a hero of our times, really).

anyways, what i mean is, i think it's easy to ignore the lead up to that betrayal as an audience since we know penelope's anguish and hurt over what she's done but colin has no idea and it's very fresh for him so it's easy to lash out and think everything had a motive. penelope as LW is very calculating and pointed. i think it's smart of her, actually, to continually tell him she loves him and not constantly poke at the argument. she's not giving him anything else to hold up and use against her after the fact. she's very frank and open even when they have their argument in the street.

this idea he has of LW is this hurtful, manipulative person playing with people's lives. like, LW would entrap him but penelope wouldn't so it's easy to hate one and love the other and i think his inability to bring them together as one person could play into that dynamic of feeling insecure of what her intentions were. you can sort of see each time he breaks because he knows penelope loves him but he steps back each time he's reminded of LW and how it comes between them.

something i also think plays out in his inability to communicate effectively and how deeply his self-loathing goes into his jealousy of her success and how he's incapable of being intimate with penelope until he's in a better headspace. he loves penelope. he wants to marry her and be with her and live a life with her but there's a 3rd person in his marriage in his mind and what does one do with all of that when you're so firmly penelope-sexual you're staring at the walls in a brothel when you're still single? idk man.

just remember if you're sorry for having read this, i am sorrier for having written it. except for the penelope-sexual part. that's still funny to me.

[codecicle-archive]

i love being mutuals with u cuz i rlly dont even care for rpf but its so funny when u do it

-clancy

that's the thing i don't even like rpf. i don't know what happened man i just started Noticing things when watching chuckle sandwich and joking about it and now I think im more qualified to write rpf about these losers than people that Actually Write And Consume Rpf

[northsealight]

Hey, when you said RHATO Jason is the worst version on your last ask, were you referring to the first comic, second comic, or the Webtoon? (Honestly annoyed the Webtoon took that name, makes things even more confusing)

I have problems with all 3 (Webtoon most of all for sure, with the second and first switching places behind it based on what characters or plots I’m thinking about tbh), but I was just curious haha

oh. oh. oh you're not ready for this. I've been trying this entire week to find a good time to air out my thoughts:

so! in my opinion (again, this is not shaming anyone for liking what they like! if you happen to like RHATO!jason all the more power to you! dont read this!) all three reiterations of RHATO!Jason .. are not great. the one I think might have potential to be salvaged is the second one with Artemis and bizarro! (although roy harper is in my heart of hearts)

the way Jason is written in rhato... the rhato written by Scott Lobdell anyway, (who is actually a sexual predator and when you start to think even a LITTLE about how the women are written in RHATO makes so much sense) portrays Jason as yet another cookie cutter anti-hero-deadpool-esque personality who's mainly confined by the narrative restraints of his character.

I say this because hes so.... the way he goes about his vigilantism is so .. shallow. It's like the narrative is finding excuses to make him violent so the reader can be stimulated with Michale Bay explosions lol. You hardly see any stories in there where Jason is an actual champion for the people, and you hardly see his background as a street kid come into play... its like... he became... a vigilante because....he knows how the system can fail those... alienated and forgotten by those sworn to protect them... and thus channels his energy into said people through acts of radical protection... (also because the whole bruce thing yeah I know)

I keep thinking about injustice!Jason's monologue where he literally says something along the lines of "while bruce and clark were fighting I fought for the people who were being caught up in the whole thing" like if that doesn't just tell you who he is idk what will! and sure, injustice isn't Jason source material, so look at under the red hood! he literally becomes a drug kingpin TO CONTROL crime ... and then instead of getting these immense shows of care he has for the community in RHATO, we get panels like this:

like ok get it I guess 😭😭😭😭

this is the new and improved Jason!! he's suave.. hes American... he's... just like every other antihero now!!

I don't know how to explain it without sounding like an idiot- best bet is to read the comics yourself to kinda get what im saying! but even rebirth Jason is (kind of) getting what RHATO Jason doesn't-- he's a product of his huge heart. rebirth Jason has countless stories where we see how Jason ACTUALLY operates as red hood, and what his symbol means to the citizens of Gotham!

if you pour too much grit and "edginess" into Jason, then you kind of miss what he's all about- he can still be silly and sarcastic! in fact, one of my favorite Jason moments is from red hood: lost days, a series where he's portrayed as an edgy, "misfit" ruffian:

like. hello this is hilarious. and we can still have moments like these while balancing his emotional range as a vigilante that's motivated by his big fat heart! (ignoring the fact that he slept with Talia in the next issue 😭 Jason fans can't have shit 😭)

but anyway! ill likely add more when I'm not feeling so tired, but god!! is it so hard to show Jason's propensity for kindness!! is it so hard to realize that his character to the core is revolved around a deep understanding for others based on personal experience!!

there's a reason why DC (in the rare moments when they know what to do with his character) always writes stories with Jason consoling children, or Jason being good with kids in dangerous situations!

it's because he's been there before. he's felt the grief and confusion of being helpless in a situation of his control. he's felt the consequences of adults who were supposed to protect and raise him! he's been killed for daring to cling on to the notion of trust even after all he's been through!

and I don't know, I think his dedication to the people, children especially, is his way of forgiving himself- his way of telling little Jason that it wasn't his fault.

[spacespore]

HI TUMBLRR it’s me

[moe-broey]

Blocking isn't enough I need to be able to blow up a specific post with my mind and never see it on my dash ever again.

[faerygardenparty]

Is now a good time to admit that spiderbit is only my second favorite minecraft wedding after the mavin sky factory wedding? Like no other minecraft duo will ever beat them

[noknowshame]

doing a Saw marathon was such a great idea these movies are so funny. I never realized before that after the first movie its not even a ~spooky mystery~ who Jigsaw is. like yah there's the puppet but we know who's doing this. his name is john. he's right there. hi john :)

[abbadon-is-stupid]

can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on with Cellbit I was in a echo chamber the whole night working on my Forever fanart and I’m lost

[shinceltyblewup]

The only Byleth S-support I ever really cared about (besides Seteth but that was more about my personal illness and not them as characters) was them & Jeritza. God. This game is ass (voice of a guy who has replayed it more than any other game in its library)

[sonofsin]

after 5 days and 15 hours of playtime... I have no choice but to abandon my fallout save and start over. this sucks.

[yellowjckets]

the angel/angelus split is so funny because literally no other vampire does that … i’m choosing to believe it’s just angel’s catholic guilt coping mechanism