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gangplanksorenji · 10 months ago

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Kinknuary Day 22: Spanking

Pairing: Kep1er Xiaoting x Male Reader

Word Count: 4,956

[Kinknuary Masterlist]

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“Don’t you want to take me somewhere else more than this?”

“I actually just want to go home now, Xiaoting—I’m pretty tired…”

“Aw, come on—please? Just one more then we’ll go home…”

Of course, Xiaoting won’t end a day without a good note because she detests anything that’ll make her feel bored or even the simplest hint of discontentment and you won’t dare to disappoint her. Sometimes, life doesn’t go the desired path they want them to and that’s being sampled on her right now, and you won’t let her selfish wants be your burden in the long run.

“Aren’t you even feeling tired, Xiaoting?” Your tone laces a hint of discomfort as she seems to be much more invigorated than you even though you’ve mostly spent the whole day shopping and attending such an incredible party you’ve ever gone to.

“Not really, but please—”

“Okay, okay…” You break her constant plea with a single proposition: a classic game of rock, paper and scissors and whoever wins, will mark both of your fates—it’s quite a simple game but unable to be rejected as Xiaoting agrees about that, and you smiled because of her sudden agreement.

“Just once, okay?”

“Alright…” Xiaoting sounds pretty defeated even though it hasn't started yet because the pessimistic side of hers says that she may end up losing and it will deeply make her disappointed and knowing how well she will think, you curl up a smirk as this is the moment of truth.

Counting down up to the lowest possible integer, you could feel the tension on Xiaoting’s eyes, laced with anticipation and the desire to win as she wanted herself to be fully-redeemed on peak-happiness but it’s like, you can clearly read her mind through that serious gaze of hers as you curl up a smirk after utter ‘zero’ and guess what, all became too ambitious for someone who desired something truly at its best.

It wasn’t really the best, for Xiaoting as you landed ‘rock’ front of her which made her gasp in defeat as it’s too late, with even half a second to spare and cheat, she panicked and managed to land a ‘scissor’ and with that little game, you knew who’s victorious and it’s goddamn you.

“I hate this game! It’s unfair!!” Xiaoting whines and as expected, she rants out how rigged that game could be and how you “cheated” to get that desired prize as she frowns in front of you, her pouty yet disappointed expression still exuding such beauty that no one can come close.

“How is it unfair? You even switched it up at the last second and ended up losing? Just accept your defeat—”

“Ughh, fine! Fine, I will…” Xiaoting brushes off your further continuation of fighting how she’s on the wrong side as she doesn’t want to hear anything that would just make things worse—it’s like she’ll lose anything of our decision, probably a good night’s rest at her place, especially with you on her side. Knowing that investing onto another argument or another plea won’t make anything better since a deal is a deal and you’re just going to wait for time to tell the fate you have in store with and knowing how Xiaoting will take your upcoming proposition wholeheartedly, then it’ll be just only a matter of time before it all unveils onto that anticipated abyss of wonders and desires.

---

It never gets old between the both of you and the fact that you’ve been holding this for a while now is surprising, knowing how insatiable Xiaoting can be at an times you lay your eyes on her as her vixen-like aura and her seductive nature is enough to make you lure in to your deepest desires, and it’s being fulfilled with multiple, sloppy kisses on her lips. You chase your delightful moments in every kiss that you make up with her, as much as the lustful need in you every time you tangle your tongue on hers as you went deeper, and Xiaoting, pulling out as she’s running out of breath due to our audacious nature and aggressive actions towards her.

“Why would you pull out, babe? Am I too much for you to handle?”

“Not reall—ahh, ohh… right t-there…” Maybe you’re right or you could lean onto the opposite, knowing that the culprit would be the lack of oxygen would let those speculations set aside onto the correct verdict. You know how your lips are one of her ultimate weaknesses out of the many things you can elaborate as you let her know how your stupendous skills can make a girl like her fall under your spell within just mere seconds. You latch onto her deep, sharp collar bones that you always love worshiping, knowing how perfectly sculpted those are like the rest of her body, deemed to be drooled on a praised by only you—you could be just the luckiest menace of them all, being gifted with such an angel being close to the epitome of perfection, from head to toe. You keep peppering that porcelain skin of hers with multiple kisses, running your lips down to her neck as she moans almost-inaudibly and incredibly sultry, voicing out her deep satisfaction towards your expertise.

“Oh god—you k-kiss me so well—oh, so good!”

Hearing her constant compliments on your actions, you continue to pepper her with intimate kisses until you pull out right after, hearing her soft whimpers needing your lips to be attached onto her skin as soon as possible but you had enough, for now.

“Isn’t my baby needy for me?” Your eyes demanded an answer escaping her lips right away, wanting her to unleash that living submissiveness inside her and you’ll do it slowly, knowing how the beast inside her will be a little challenging to tame.

“Y-Yes…”

She’s succumbing onto that state slowly as her eyes glistening with need and her soft, needy tone is enough of an evidence, luring her into falling under your spell and will not make her escape out of it. With her needy pleas and her body grinding greedily against yours, wanting to feel your touch, you can’t seem to be convinced as there’s few elements that’s lacking from her constant pleas. “Yes what, baby?”

“Yes, please…” With Xiaoting’s constant pleas, you can’t help but just fulfill her needs right at this moment but you need to unlock that beast inside of you with the magical word that will turn her world upside-down.

“You’re getting there, baby~” You tease her porcelain skin with a gentle swipe of your fingers, running it down her neck and then up to her toned midriff, which you always love kissing and worth worshiping until the end of time. Xiaoting knows that she needs to crack the code within you, and with a clever mind and taking a few seconds of the clock for her to think about what could make that happen, she finally thought of that forbidden word and it’s only a matter of time until~

“Yes I am, daddy.”

You never expected her to fail in any kind as she’s cognizant as the way she is and it’s always impressive to see and even hear it all with utmost sincerity and need. With your face still inches away from her, such eye contact would let the other succumb onto the endearing stare of the other yet you’ll change that, more likely, a commanding one as you live up with that, wanting Xiaoting to strip her clothing in front of you with class and skill like nobody can achieve. Maybe, you haven’t seen anyone become on par with her skills, let alone surpassing her and you’ll keep it that way—it’s way phenomenal seeing Xiaoting doing the things she’s great at and you won’t even bother thinking of another woman to do it for you. With her seductive gaze inviting you to strip her clothing with her, you wouldn’t skip that opportunity as you do so, slowly removing the fur-like sleeves on her arms but before you completely strip it off her, you take some time to commend her flawless figure and her outfit perfectly complimenting each impeccable feature she has.

“Thanks, d-daddy—really l-loved this one…”

“You know, as much as I want this on you, this would be better on the floor.”

Xiaoting’s lips curled up a sinister smirk as she invited you to make that “wish” of yours come true, and it wouldn’t take up much of your time until it became accomplished. She would aid herself for you to be comfortable, leaning onto you as she gives you such inviting and sultry moans, making yourself get riled up for her and you love it but you wouldn’t be fazed with that as you continue stripping her. Her hands wouldn’t be idle as she pulled her pants, down to her ankles and then onto the floor with a swift motion and god, those scrumptious, milky thighs on your sight is tempting to be voraciously kissed as hunger took over you yet you continue your work and with her top off, her slender, hourglass figure is now within your eyes to be blessed and you couldn’t ask for more because of it.

Xiaoting is a work of art, sculpted by the gods to perfection as you’re the lucky man to handle and appreciate this masterpiece, maybe even use it until her legs give out—a sullied goddess, in your own books.

“God, you’re fucking hot, Xiaoting—oh gosh…” You can’t believe your eyes as it takes numerous gazes throughout her perfect figure, eyeing every inch and drooling on it like it’s a five-course meal—maybe it may lie down onto the scope of similes but metaphorically, she’s always the main course and you would love to devour her like a predator hungry for its prey. With her last bits of defense still within her body, concealing her true beauty, you asked Xiaoting if you can strip it off her and without any hesitations, she nodded as she’s been longing for this for a while now.

“You really love my body so much, hm, daddy?” Xiaoting doesn’t even need to ask you about that because she already knows what your answer will be and it’s always readable, your eyes glistening with hunger over her is enough evidence.

Still busy admiring her scrumptious body and her drooling all over it, it took you seconds before you could respond as you flash a smile at her, making her feel delighted and truly loved by you. “Of course, baby—I love it all but daddy’s getting impatient…”

Xiaoting runs her finger onto your clothed chest, up towards your shoulders as she rests her arms on it, and then utters such a seductive invitation letting you know how it’s going to start. “Have your way with me, daddy—I’d love what you’ll make me do…”

And as always, Xiaoting never laid a better invitation than that and she never fails to make you amazed and aroused. With all of that foreplay coming into its denouement, you commanded Xiaoting to get onto the bed as her naked body is now on display, ready to get used as she gets on all fours.

“This is going to be fun…”

---

“Count.”

“Y-Yes, daddy…”

It’s maybe a newly profound kink of him, and maybe even you, considering that as you're guilty as he probably likes how your thighs jiggle with his mighty palm striking onto your butt with the force of a truck, and you love it. He knows how you love it so much, your eyes won’t even deny letting him know about that and under his own control, you completely submit yourself and let him have his way with you.

“Don’t hold back, baby—let it all out and count, do you understand?”

You nod frantically, not wanting to disappoint him as you wiggle your ass in front of him, inviting him to do the honors of the actions he’s been longing to do—

*loud smack* “O-One…”

It was just the first one and it’s already rocking your world, sending your arousal up to the sky as his smacks are pleasurable, making your sensitivity peak at its finest. You could feel yourself getting wet with the thought of his hands spanking your butt harshly until it’s red as a tomato while ramming your tight cunt down and you can’t wait for it to happen.

*another loud smack* “Two—oh god…”

Another one emanates around your ear as the crisp of its pristine sound sends your libido skyrocketing, probably filling the urge of him using you but you can sense and know how he won’t just pull the trigger this easily—the both you wanted this on the first place: you wanting this for a long time now and gains gratification from it and lastly, him wanting to tease you and there’s no better way to do that with his palm printed onto your milky buttcheeks, going to be redder than a tomato.

*another loud smack* “T-Three… That feels so g-good…”

It may feel redundant but you love every second of it and will not even feel the hint of being tired of it because of his harsh actions—you wanted the pain anyways, as he knows how you derive pleasure from his spanks and the discordant sounds of it increasing your libido onto the roof, and makes you even wetter by multiple barrages of it.

*another loud smack* “F-Four—f-fuck, daddy…”

This time, it was way harder than the rest as you whimper in pain again because of his harshness, but gaining that genuine gratification as you love the pain and the pleasure mixing all up together—you’re maybe a masochist because of how you derive intense pleasure, and you know he’s here to fulfill that at all costs. Even though you can’t catch a glimpse of the hot sight of him doing such sinful things to you, you can’t still brush the fact that your imagination reaches the furthest of its limits, capable of formulating the filthiest thoughts known to mankind.

*another loud, harsh smack* “Five—o-ohh… too g-good—ahh~”

You keep voicing your own satisfaction alongside your ragged breaths between random intervals that puts him onto authority to further smack you until your butt is scarlet red but you can sense that he has better options in mind, the feral beast inside him wanting to be unshackled from its restraints, and you’d be the guest to let it be a wish come true.

“Such a good girl for me, hm?”

You know he’s growing impatient, and you can sense it igniting in his eyes and you wouldn’t dare to let him wait for another move preceding what he could command you.

“Yes, daddy—” Your sultry voice invites him into falling down to his own, carnal desires and you know he wouldn’t make the both of you wait for nothing as every second should be treasured. “—now will you fuck your good girl?”

It’s up to him to write your fate, and you’ll just relax yourself and find out what it would be…

---

It does tempt you into fulfilling her needs and it’s just a single strand before you break your shackling confines, and it wouldn’t be long until you reach your primal desires. It wasn’t your cup of tea to tease into oblivion but if she wanted that then so be it as foreplay plays an impressive role on someone’s anticipation and her desires running like a roller coaster, all opting for the chase of fun and the freakiest frustrations of not being attended.

“Put it in, daddy—please, ohh!”

Of course, another tease makes her weak, whimpering in need as she tightly grabs the bed sheets for a leverage to fight the profound pleasure that she's not experiencing. You continue swiping your finger onto her heated core as she cries in response, and it further skyrockets once you start stimulating her clit and with her small sounds being the fuel on your unstoppable lust, you won’t let her wait for more as you gave what she truly deserves.

With your hands caressing the soft, silky skin of hers, you grab her hips and position yourself into a state of bliss and within a single second, it all went uphill as you could just hear each other’s groans emanating the wonders of such a great commencement of sex. You deliver shallow and leisure thrusts, aiming to just make her anticipate and savor every second of that blithe that she always loved. You continue peppering her neck with constant pecks as you muster such a sluggish pace, making her feel loved as you worship her and make her know how much you adore her.

“You l-love kissing me, daddy?”

You smile at her question, and you know that she already has the knowledge about that question, but you would love to let her know about everything you love about her, more likely, verbally. “Of course, baby—how could I not adore every inch of your perfect body?”

Well, she’s not egoistic but she knows how perfect she is in your eyes and that’s something that always wanted to hear, as it boosts her confidence in a great percentage and makes her feel the utmost care by you. Maybe the slow and redundant foreplay was getting on your nerves longer than you expected as you wanted to ruin her and Xiaoting herself would love the thought of that.

Maybe it won’t rely onto the cloud of thoughts as it’s now ascending into reality, pacing faster into a moderate speed where she constantly whimpered in need, your constantly ramming cock into her tightness becoming too much for her and of course she would request for an element to be added for the better experience for both parties.

“Spank my ass while you f-fuck me, daddy—oh god!”

Now averting your hands onto different places: your left hand swiftly fondling her perky breasts for better stimulation and your other hand already finding its way onto smacking that soft flesh in front of you, the rippling of it and the sound it reverberates around the room makes such an arousing sight that it further thrust you into her rapidly as she recoils a little from your harshness.

Who would have thought that a modest, sophisticated girl like her is invested in such a sinful, cruel act? Well, it wasn’t emanating from her aura totally but you know how she subconsciously knows how hot and captivating of a woman she is—you’re glad that she’s yours and you’re the only one to have a sight of her alluring masterclass. Maybe it’s a faux conception knowing that Xiaoting doesn’t exude such hotness if she’s always being a little “puffball”, as you call her, but her other side is nothing compared to this and god, the next thing you’ll know is that you’ll be just riled up for her that the both of you will succumb to each other’s needs and be the freakiest creatures known to mankind.

If it wasn’t always the case about the latter, then you don’t know what is because the both of you prove your points about that title.

Harsh spanks add up to the sea of cacophonous sounds that lingers around your ear, further fueling you to bring such hard poundings in aims to totally let her succumb to submission, and you’re nearing that goal with all of the stimulation you’re doing on her. Every whimper she exclaims with the pain you’re bestowing her just makes the sight rapidly hotter but you know it wasn’t enough until her cheeks are scarlet red so you muster a new pattern of thrusting between spanks and using the other hand as a leverage by grabbing her hips harshly. The constant rhythm of your hips gradually increases over time, and so is your harsh treatment towards her but you want to add an incredible twist that will elevate the experience even more.

Xiaoting lets out series of cries as you pound her into the mattress, her arms able to give out with how much you’re treating her and then suddenly, you slow down immediately, catching her off-guard and for her to recovering a little as you’re selfless—you wanted her to savor every moment whenever possible and not want her to reach her high too quickly even though you know how your cock can make her do that in a few minutes. With your sudden impeding, you could take a closer attention to admiring her scrumptious backside and the sexiest curves of her hourglass figure that you can drool on for days and won’t get tired of. This is also an exceptional time to let your hands be berserk and give her harsh barrages of spanks that makes her even wetter and even more whimpers that lets your cock twitch because of how soft and arousing her tone is.

“P-Please fuck me h-harder, daddy–oh gosh, s-so good!!”

Another resonating smack lingering around her ears as you’re a little infuriated with her pleas, making her writhe a little and cry in need of a better pace. “Don’t tell me what to do, baby…”

Her tightness is nearly suffocating but you don't care, not when a hot sight is just right in front of you as you resume on your frantic pace, making her moan uncontrollably to the point that she almost screams and it’s deafening but angelic. With all of the constant stimulation of your hands throughout her body and the pain you’re bringing in with such onslaught of smacks, it wouldn’t be surprisingly to know if Xiaoting is going to reaching her high sooner than you expected as the constant constricting of her pussy and the juices seeping out of it are enough evidences to set herself near to the promised land. Now with her buttcheeks red with your hand printed on it, you gave her a small break and continue to double your efforts on pounding her tight cunt, letting her know how she’s going to be having the paramount orgasm of her whole life and with a shuddering response escaping her lips, you knew it’s deemed to come into an end.

“Shit—daddy, I’m gonna c-cum so soon!!”

She wanted this for so long and you wouldn’t dare to put it in a halt and gave the reward that Xiaoting absolutely deserves. “Then cum, baby—cum all over my cock—”

It all went onto that singular point of bliss, releasing deafening screams of pleasure as she lets everything out around your ravaging length and with Xiaoting aiming to further elevate her orgasmic trance, she requested you still fuck her senseless on her orgasm as you do so, making her a wild, mindless mess just capable of uttering such sinful sounds. With your ruthless pace, Xiaoting kept whimpering on how she wants you to treat her harsher as you fulfill her wants, further hammering her tightness with such thrusts mustered to the highest velocity possible and with spanks with a force of a truck. After such breathtaking thrusts and a breakneck pace, you instantly calmed down the feral beast inside of you and gave her a leverage to recover, thrusting with such a sluggish pace as she catches her breath due to her orgasmic high.

“Daddy, t-that was—”

“Good? Yes, baby, I know—” You lean down to kiss her beautiful neck, and then course your way near her ear and continue her sentence. With your lips still worshiping the porcelain skin of hers, you let her know how great the experience was and showered her with compliments that definitely stroked her ego. “—because honestly, you felt great around my cock, baby…”

Xiaoting lets out needy whimpers—maybe even possibly smiling because of your compliments—as you stroke her hair to make her feel your touch, your hips now ensuing a moderate pace, pumping into her but this time, it’s all full of affection and love and dismissing the harshness and greed like from earlier. Knowing yourself would be near your own high too, you wanted to save the best for the last as you warn Xiaoting that you’re going to pull out and let herself switch into a different position.

“Baby, turn around for me so I can fuck you while seeing your beautiful face.”

It was straightforward and she obliges immediately without any questions and even with the hint of frustration laced on her emotions, it wouldn’t be long until you reward her with something exceptional as now is the time for another side of bliss. As she spun her figure around gracefully, her hands grabbed your shoulders as you immediately didn’t waste any time teasing her and plunged your length deep inside her and god, she’s still as tight as earlier and you wouldn’t complain about that because that’s what makes every second worth cherishing.

Your hands then coursed down on her waist, caressing it as your touch makes her writhe a little and it didn’t bother you, continuing onto your desired precedence to reach your ultimate high. You pump your hips in her with aims to make her feel the utmost pleasure and how much you love her and with Xiaoting’s cleverness and the heat rising up onto its maximum scope, her hands didn’t become idle and pulled your head towards her, initiating into a heated kiss. It was full of hunger and lust as the both of you kept on chasing the higher authority, battling for the dominant control over the other person as drool inevitably seeped out of your mouths with your tongues dancing around gracefully. The kiss eventually gets sloppier and more heated and so are your ramming thrusts, pistoning onto a velocity unable for anyone to comprehend and it wouldn’t take long before you achieve your long-anticipated high with that familiar tingle in your loins.

Wanting to savor the last moments before your peak, you initiated a new rhythm as you gave up on a ridiculous pace in exchange for more powerful thrusts, as every time you do it, her thighs jiggle like jelly and that’s why you love such slow-paced thrusts that aims to strike harder—maybe the accumulation of such force on hammering her tight cunt is wonderful and it wouldn’t be long until you achieve something that you’ve been longing for.

“Aren’t y-you close, daddy?”

You chase your breath as you became too focused on peppering her neck with kisses and fucking her into oblivion that it took your seconds before you responded back, “I’m pretty close, baby—”, and instantly you kissed her lips again as you looked at her endearingly, full of fervor as you muttered such saccharine-filled words, “—I love you so much…”

That made Xiaoting realize how sincere everything was and she always knew it, but she never felt this much adrenaline and affection as she can’t help but smile sincerely as you continue hammering her and chasing that peak of yours. “I love you too, daddy—more than anything in this world.”

You pulled Xiaoting into another heated kiss as you buried your entire length in this, filling her up to the hilt as she let out muffled moans onto your lips but didn’t let herself faze on her grand prize, continuing on deepening the torrid kiss. You fill her up as you grab her waist tightly, almost forming into an embrace in order for a better leverage on dumping everything inside her. You groan between your heated kisses with Xiaoting as everything is just now in a complete state of bliss, every spurt worth treasuring as the constriction of her walls makes the pleasure worth your while and maybe even extending your orgasm. When you feel that everything has been toned down, you then palm her shoulders and pulled out slowly, Xiaoting catching her breath because of such a heated kiss initiated by you and god, what an incredible it is to see her pussy full of your cum, and some of it dripping and onto the sheets they stain—you suppose you would need a new mattress considering how much she spurted ner nectar all over the place and maybe, that would be the case.

“Ohh, it’s s-so much, daddy…” Xiaoting moans in satisfaction as she can feel the warmness of your seed that fills every inch of her velvety walls, and some are even seeping out of her lips. She took this as an opportunity to scoop out a sample and tasted it and as expected, she was delighted to let her taste buds orchestrate the final verdict of its delectability. “It’s salty and sweet—I love it, daddy…”

You smile because of her satisfaction being voiced out verbally, and with that, it makes you feel that everything was worth both your whiles and there’s nothing you could ask for more when it’s already been fulfilled.

“You felt so good, baby and—” You caressed Xiaoting’s cheeks and looked at her endearingly again, feeling affectionate and thankful with the greatness she's bestowed you and being such a good girl for you. “—glad you loved me filling you up.”

“I love your harshness too, daddy—everything is just perfect…” It’s a little surprising that she can still articulate words that she shouldn’t but she got stamina for days so her recovery would be pretty quick. You know the night’s getting older but you know there’s more ways to enjoy everything you could think of but for now, a good night’s rest would not be bad as you can feel your drowsiness slowly taking over you until—

*notification pops up*

Yujin’s gonna see you tomorrow and you’re fucked up…

Well, was this all a mistake? You’d consider this as one but maybe this won’t be and all you can do is to prepare onto something that’s the last thing you want to deal with—her.

#kinknuary 2024 #kep1er smut #xiaoting smut #kep1er x male reader #xiaoting x male reader

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chososdiscordkitten · 11 months ago

Text

Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 5

pt 4 here

content: stalking (duhh) Choso goes home for Christmas, calls u nd texts u the whole time, brief mention of his brothers, mentions of readers lipstick n perfume, no use of y/n or pronouns, cursing (a.n) ahhhhh this one is one of my favorites. made me smile a lot. wrote this listening to 'Sextape- Deftones'

Taglist : @brokenscaredakira @adanfore @emojk777 @waytootiredforthisss @denypipa @broccocrab @sunaumei @morinuu @just-pure-trash @iluvreinah @integers @ziklope @killakungfu-wolfbitch @1arminsimp

Obsessive!Choso who actually enjoyed coming to class, now that you sit next to him. Enjoying it so much that he felt like his grades were somewhat getting better. Now that he actually had to show that he was writing down notes. Having to actually follow the presentations from the professor on his computer, knowing that you were sitting inches away from him. When you sat so far away- he didn't have to worry about taking notes, or even bother opening his computer- because you couldn't see him. ‘You are good for me. You make me want to better myself for you.’ he'd think, looking over at you writing on your computer.

Obsessive!Choso who had anxiety that once this project was over- you'd run back to the same friends that will never make you smile the way he does. The people who peer pressured you into drinking and doing drugs- just because you wanted to fit in. ‘You'd never have to worry about that with me. I will never pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.’

Obsessive!Choso who was scared that once the excuse of being partners for this class was no longer usable. You'd leave him, you'd find someone else to entertain your afternoons, someone who will replace him. So scared that he’d grovel to the professor, asking for an extension. Telling you, “Somethings missing- I'll let you know once I've finished my part.” when you'd ask him if he was finished with it yet. Knowing he did that summary days ago, only having it on another doc so you wouldn't see that he finished it.

Obsessive!Choso who spent the last few classes he had left with you on the verge of tears. His heart was heavy in his chest, pocketing all the notes you had exchanged with him. Running out of space to put them, finding an old converse box and placing them inside. Using so much tape too quickly, trying his best to preserve the pieces of paper. Nights where he'd re-read them, feeling guilt for leaving you.

Obsessive!Choso who felt like his brain was going to explode, the anxiety of turning in the assignment was too much. Knowing he would have to turn it in before winter break- right before he left you. ‘I want to trust you,’ he thought, your name in his mind as though he was speaking to you. ‘I really do. But it's not that I don't fully trust you. I don't trust the people you’ll be left with. The people without families- like you. Who will prey on you. Who will make you think they're just like you. But they're not, they're just trying to manipulate you-’ You scanned his face, knowing he was thinking of something else while you were talking. “You okay?” You asked, seeing him shake his thoughts away before answering, “Just thinking.” he replied, a pained smile on his face. “About?” You asked, wondering what he could be thinking that was so serious that his face looked almost agonized, while you spoke.

Obsessive!Choso who contemplated lying, but the need to tell the truth was far greater. “I keep thinking about you all alone here. Alone during Christmas.” He confessed, seeing you sigh. “I like being alone. I'll be okay, don't worry.” You assured, almost reaching for his hand to comfort him- but you knew that was too far, and definitely too soon. You didn't want to invade his personal space. Seeing him only return a forced smile to you, knowing he wasn't fully convinced of the idea from his silence. Seeing an opportunity to lift up the mood, you let out a laugh. “I'll call you everyday- Send you pictures every 5 minutes.” You joked, earning a smile from him. “So many pictures that you'll feel like you're still here.” you smiled, seeing him nod his head while smiling.

Obsessive!Choso who wished you knew how badly he wanted you to actually do those things. Liking the way you tried to ease his worries. Pushing away the anxiety so he could relish the last few times he'd be able to see you.

Obsessive!Choso who's following habit became worse. Now standing outside your house for what felt like hours. Watching the four walls that kept you from him in the cold wind, standing still when it rained. Even when it started snowing for the first time that season. ‘We’re together for the first snowfall. You know what that means right? True love will blossom between us.’ Seeing you through the curtainless window, watching you close a thin curtain- as though you felt him watching you. Now only letting him see your shadow. Smile on his face when you'd call him- your tone made it clear that you were grinning ear to ear the whole time, oblivious to the fact that he was just a few yards away from you. Seeing you pace in front of the window as he spoke to you. ‘I know you want me to make a move. But I’ll wait. I will wait till the moment you feel the same way I do.’ He'd think, listening to you speak.

Obsessive!Choso who thanked whatever celestial being that was out there, for making the lights on the sidewalk go out. Watching your house without fear of someone seeing him. ‘For now-I will love you from a distance,’ he professed, a grin on his face when he thought of your name. ‘I will wait for you.’

Obsessive!Choso who turned in the assignment a day before he left. He was pushing it- but he did it for a reason. He did it for you, to make sure you wouldn't give up on him.

Obsessive!Choso who was about to leave- but he needed to see you, just one more time. Walking around campus trying to find you. Checking his phone seeing his plane was leaving in an hour and a half. Seeing you inside the campus cafe- book in your hand. Break had already started, the campus was almost empty, but seeing you doing what you told him you'd do. Catching up on the books you started, but never finished. ‘Even if you didn't know I was looking at you- you look effortless.’ he thought, walking towards the doors of the shop.

Obsessive!Choso who opens the door and sees you look up at him. Smiling and mouthing a ‘hi’ at him. Walking to the small table you sat at. Not knowing what to say, shaking his head, seeing your face turn in confusion. He was just standing there- not pulling out the chair to sit. “I was- I was about to leave.” He smiled, pulling the chair across from you, rings clashing against the wooden back.

Obsessive!Choso who sat down and seemed fidgety, compared to the chivalric aura he usually kept. “And you decided you needed one last shitty coffee before leaving. Smart.” You smiled, joking in hopes he'd loosen up a little. “No-” he smiled, softening his expression. Seeing you place your book down, making sure to remember the title. He wanted to say a million things, tell you how he needed to see you. He needed to say goodbye. As though he was your friend of 10 years leaving to fight in a war, feeling like if he left you; he would never see you again. “I wanted-” He started, closing his eyes and fidgeting with his hands. “I wanted to say ‘goodbye’ to you, before I left.” Seeing you fight off a smile, your eyes blinking rapidly at his words. “That's sweet of you.” You smiled, tilting your head and seeing him look up.

Obsessive!Choso who felt his cheeks warm at your words. “What time’s your flight?” You asked, picking up your coffee and taking a sip. “In an hour.” He exhaled, seeing you widen your eyes. “What are you still doing here? You're going to be late!” you exclaimed with a smile. ‘I know, I know. I still have to go get my bags, and call an uber to take me across town.’ He thought, hearing you say the same things he was thinking, calling your name in his mind, ‘But I don't care. I will buy another one, I will spend another fortune on a useless ticket home. I needed to see you.’

Obsessive!Choso who was practically pushed out the doors of the shop, standing in front of him with a look on your face as though you were waiting for something. “I'll call you.” You mumbled, looking into his eyes for the very first time. “I’ll answer.” He replied, hesitating to take a step back before walking away, looking back and seeing you wave goodbye at him through the windows. Closing his eyes, feeling his feet want to turn around, looking back once more. Already sitting back in the chair you were in when he first walked in. ‘Wait for me.’ he thought, speed walking back to his apartment.

Obsessive!Choso ran through the airport, being 15 minutes late- but he made it. Standing in the line to board the plane, looking over to a small gift shop. Seeing the cover of the book you were reading- running over and buying it as the line moved. Almost 30 dollars, but fuck. You were worth it.

Obsessive!Choso who got home to his brothers, he was happy to see them but something was missing. You were missing, spending the first night in his bed picturing you here with him. Being nice to his brothers, joking with them. Waiting for you to call him, or text him. But radio silence. Nothing. It made his head hurt, trying to fight off the thoughts of you being kidnapped. With his luck, the first night he was away from you, you probably would. Knowing how careless you were while walking home, how you didn't take any safety measures like carrying pepper spray or making sure to not take the same route home. ‘I will always make sure you're safe. Make sure you have black out curtains, make sure you don't have to walk home alone.’ Hands behind his head while looking up to the ceiling. ‘And as much as you'd fight me on this- make sure you won't walk around with your earphones in.’ The chances of someone coming up behind you and pressing a chloroform rag to your face were too great. Choso was sure that once he could, he would instill that fear into your head. The fear of someone hurting you, of how dangerous it was being so careless nowadays. The fear of someone taking you away from him.

Obsessive!Choso who opened instagram, clicking your account. His heart shattered. You had privated your account. Almost as though you heard his thoughts of how reckless you were about your privacy. Holding his phone in his hands, staring down at the screen with a mournful look plastered to it. Seeing a notification pop up at the top of his screen, from you. ‘You know me. You know me so well- you know exactly when I need you.’

Obsessive!Choso who screenshotted the notification, opening it and seeing you sent him a photo. Of you with a plate of food in your hand, furrowing your eyebrows playfully. ‘u home yet ?’ he read, closing his eyes and almost reciting a prayer in thanks. Seeing you in a black tank top with his favorite band printed onto it. The first photo you had ever sent him- a photo that only he had. That you took specifically for him. ‘You'd never send this to one of your friends. You showing me your shirt proves it.’ Saving the photo and typing, ‘since like 9pm’ quickly going to his settings and changing his wallpaper to the photo you just sent him. ‘why didnt u tell meeee’ you replied. You didn't give him a whole lot of time to reply before you called him, scolding him playfully. “You didn't want me to call you did you?” you asked, sarcasm making Choso smile. “I know it's late over there- I thought you were asleep.” He replied, doing the same thing he's done every time he's been on the phone with you. Picturing you standing in the same place you were when you took the photo.

Obsessive!Choso who asked you what you were eating, “Leftover mac n cheese my roommate left.” you replied, almost disappointed with your own answer. ‘Cruel. How cruel of them to leave you with their leftovers. I will always make sure you eat a decent meal- that's right,’ he thought, saying your name. ‘I cook too. Just for you.’ He thought, hearing you let out a laugh when he asked, “Really?” in disappointment. “It was that or frozen pizza that's been there since I moved in.” You smiled. Your cheeks feeling fuzzy at his concern, “How's the reading going?” he asked, trying to ignore the sound of a glass breaking coming from the kitchen. “Meh, boring- the main character in this one I'm reading is annoying.” You shrugged, “As a matter of fact lemme read you one of the stupidest things he's said-” You smiled, opening the book and flipping the pages. “So, anyway, there I go again. Straying away from the point. Where was I?- like who published this? Makes me upset just thinking about how this guy is real.” you spoke, tossing it onto the counter and sighing. “The whole book is like that- it’s all just a mans troubles with women and enjoying hurting them- s’fucking stupid.” You heard him let out a stifled laugh, “It's not funny-” You smiled, hearing him keep laughing, “First book I want to finish and it's bullshit.” you exclaimed, hearing him settle down. “What book is it?” He asked, trying to stop his laugh. ‘I know what book it is. It's the same one you were reading in the cafe. The same one I started reading on the flight.’

Obsessive!Choso who smiled when you said the title. Closing his eyes in triumph. “Why did you get so far reading it?” he asked, knowing that the first page was shocking enough. “I thought- it was a book of someone who gets their karma back- becomes a better person- blah blah blah. But nope, apparently there's 2 more books. Of the same man, with the same troubles.” You replied, taking a bite from your plate and leaning against the counter. Furrowing your eyebrows when you fully processed his question. “How'd you know I was so far into reading it?” you asked, your tone indicated it wasn't a serious question. But it made Choso’s heart drop. “I saw how little pages you had left at the cafe.” He lied. Knowing he had read that page in the book earlier. Not fully read- more skimmed the pages.

Obsessive!Choso who felt relief when he heard you inhale. “I didn't know you noticed such small details like that.” You commented, holding the phone with your shoulder as you took another bite. Choso hummed at your response, “Anyway- don't talk to me about that book.” You grinned, hearing Choso exhale with a smile. You were about to ask him how his brothers were, starting the sentence but hearing a door slam open. “Choso- Yuuji broke moms vase!” You heard a teasing tone through the phone, “I did not!” you heard bickering, Choso mumbled a quick, “I gotta go-” placing his phone on his desk, not hanging up. Hearing Choso scold his younger brother before ending the call. Smiling at how much his tone changed when speaking to his brothers- more authoritative and demanding.

Obsessive!Choso who felt horrible for hanging up the way he did, thinking of how disrespectful it was. The argument that sparked between his brothers ran long, all of them blaming each other for breaking this vase. Which, according to Choso, was priceless. Texting you a quick, ‘sorry i didnt call u back, they just settled down.’ Seeing the message go from delivered to seen. ‘You were waiting for me?’

Obsessive!Choso whose heart felt tight when he read your reply. ‘was just abt to go to bed’ his fingers typing quickly, ‘im sorry, i'll text you in the morning?’ seeing the typing bubble pop up the minute he pressed send. ‘kk talk to u tmmrw. goodnightttt :)’ he smiled at your reply, ‘goodnight :]’ he replied, wanting to send you a <3 heart but he restrained himself.

Obsessive!Choso who texted you every morning, making you smile at his sweet ‘good morning’ texts. Knowing he'd be busy with his brothers so you didn't call him, but your phone was stuck onto your hand, replying to his texts at lightning speed. ‘call me when ur not busy okay?’ you'd ask, making Choso giggle like those words were some kind of great attempt at flirting. And he would- he'd try to. Somehow always being interrupted by his brothers- remembering why he chose a college so far away. But the 2 am calls when he'd hear your voice, quiet and sleepy. They were worth it. Knowing you'd keep yourself awake just to talk to him. The constant pinging from his phone and Choso leaving the room to call you made his brothers suspicious. Even more so when one of them caught a glimpse at his wallpaper, seeing a photo of you- taking his phone and passing it around. Teasing him and asking if he finally found a partner.

Obsessive!Choso who died of embarrassment when he was talking to you on the phone, one of his brothers knocked loudly at his door. Jumping when he heard the youngest pound at the locked door. “Choso! Open up-” he shouted, twisting the doorknob as he heard you laugh. “Are you talking to your lover?!” he teased through the door, only earning you to laugh louder. Saying ‘Hold on’ Before muting the call, standing up and opening the door to see them huddled to hear what he was saying. A dark aura around him when he saw them, “What is wrong with you.” He stated, rather than asked, seeing them look up at him. “I needed 20 bucks…?” the youngest asked, Choso reaching into his pocket and tossing the money at him. Closing the door and locking it again. Coming back to the phone and pressing the unmute button.

Obsessive!Choso mumbled, “Sorry.” hoping you didn't hear what just happened. Closing his eyes as you let out a small laugh, “Am i crazy or did your brother just call me your ‘lover’?” you asked, a smile evident in your tone. “You heard that?” he grimaced, hearing you laugh. “Yes. Yes, I did.” You answered, “What are you telling your brothers that they think I'm your ‘lover’, Choso?” You teased, hearing him exhale with a smile. ‘You're teasing me? Bad. This is bad.’ he thought, making his heart beat quickly in a good way, and in a bad way. Knowing that he would have to fight off your attempts at flirting with a stick. ‘So very tempting. Too tempting. But it's too soon. I want us to be good friends before I call you mine. But I am already yours. You don't have to worry about that.’

Obsessive!Choso who shut his eyes tightly, instantly regretting the words that came out of his mouth. “I haven't said a thing, but they noticed the texting. And the secret phone calls.” The silence showed him the disappointment you felt. Knowing you wanted to hear how he told them all about you. “Oh! Well I mean anyone would be suspicious of that!” you exclaimed, it got awkward. You felt embarrassed. Thinking that the attempt to make a move flew over his head, or he didn't feel the same. But all the signs? All the longing looks, all the subtle comments he’d say that made you realize he paid more attention to your words than you thought. To your actions, his eyes scan your face when you’d change the color of your lipstick, or when you'd wear a different perfume. Face full of confusion till he noticed what was different- you thought he was into you. ‘Maybe he is- and he just sucks at seeing when someone is flirting with him.’ You'd assure yourself.

Obsessive!Choso who kept saving the pictures you sent him. Of your coffee, of your poetry, of your outfits for the day, sending him a photo of the snow. Pictures of anything you could find, Choso would always smile at them. The ability of scrolling through your instagram wasn't sorely missed. Now being able to see photos of you that you took just for him. And saving every single one. Smile on your lips whenever you'd see he ‘loved an image’ before replying to your messages.

Obsessive!Choso who was on his phone, refreshing your instagram page over and over again. Switching to his personal account, an account he made in highschool. Not even posted anything, less than 100 followers. Seeing a small red circle at the top right corner. Someone requested to follow him. Opening the notification and seeing you. Slack jawed when he saw the sight. Screenshotting quickly and accepting it. Requesting you back, seeing an incoming call flash onto the screen. “Hey.” he smiled at your words, gulping his excitement. “I was hoping you'd answer.” You continued, ‘God, you are everything to me.’ he thought.

Obsessive!Choso who felt like you were finally letting him in. “I know I told you I didn't really like social media.” You started, ‘Yes. Tell me the truth.’ he thought, picturing you in your bedroom, closing your eyes in embarrassment. “I lied a little- I just post a lot of bullshit, nd i was embarrassed you'd see that and think ‘Jesus this person is so annoyinnggg’ that's why!” You laughed, making Choso smile. “Well let me see-” he said, putting the phone on speaker and scrolling through your account, like he craved doing for the past few days. Making approving sounds as you told him to look away.

Obsessive!Choso who called your name, grinning ear to ear, “Yes Choso?” You replied, mimicking the serious tone he called your name in. He felt it again, he felt his mouth speak before his brain could catch up. “Don’t ever worry about me finding you annoying, ever. Okay?” opening his eyes in shock at his own words. Only making you mute yourself to let out an over excited laugh, cheeks in pain from how hard you were smiling. Unmuting yourself and having the courage to say something. “Promise?” You let out, fiddling with the drawstring of your hoodie. “I promise.” He replied, making you exhale harshly. “I want to punch you in the face.” You laughed, making him laugh through his nose. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, knowing the answer. “No. You didn't, and that's why!” You exclaimed. Rolling to lay on your stomach, shoving your face into your pillows.

Obsessive!Choso knew that his attempts at brushing off your flirting weren't doing anything. He knew that the harder he'd try, the harder it would be to not flirt back.

Obsessive!Choso who answered your request for a facetime, doing his hair in the bathroom. Seeing you pop up on his phone. “Heyyy” You started, furrowing your eyebrows when you saw him getting ready, “Woahhh, you got a date?” You smiled, seeing him look at you with a grimace. ‘Jealousy. Don't be possessive, I would never commit adultery. I only have eyes for you.’ he thought, scrambling with his hands before answering, “I have family photos with my brothers today. Thus-” He looked at the camera, his hands pointing to the ugly christmas sweater he was wearing. “This monstrosity.” He finished, making you laugh. Taking 3 pictures of him to tease him, but it didn't work. ‘You want pictures of me? Do you use them as your wallpaper too?’ He only smiled at the sudden flashes of white from his phone. “Send me pictures of the photos. I need to see the Kamo family in matching sweaters.” You smiled, picturing them all in the awkward style that was used in the 90’s. He squinted his eyes, already picturing your reaction when you'd see the photos. “I’ll think about it.” sarcasm filled his tone as he fought off a smile.

Obsessive!Choso who put on his jewelry, all while you were propped up and watching him. “When do you get back again?” You asked, seeing him look at you whilst fixing his rings. “I was planning on getting back on the 6th of January. But I was thinking-” He smiled, “Of coming back on the 29th.” Picking up his phone and seeing you smile. “Good idea. Its been fucking boring out here. I forgot how many unstimulating people there were at this school.” You exhaled. ‘Say you miss me. Say it.’

Obsessive!Choso who saw you post a photo of a book earlier. “And the reading?” he asked, putting his shoes on. “It's a little better- I picked up Gone Girl.” you exhaled, “Good choice.” He grinned, seeing you exasperate. “Controversial- I know, but I kinda see myself in the main character?” You confessed, making a chill run down his spine. “Not the whole- murdering and framing someone for crimes-” you laughed, hearing his silence. “I mean in the way she thinks, the way she connects things. It's intriguing.” You clarified. Making him smile, “It was a very good book. The movie too.” He smiled, picturing you being as insane as the main character, “God I loved the movie.” You trailed off. ‘This was fate. Are you telling me you feel the same way I do? In your own way- but still.’

Obsessive!Choso who saw you started posting two plates on a table in a restaurant. Wondering who you could be with. ‘All your friends are out of town, roommates too. Who are you with?’ wanting to ask you, but that wasn't his place. Not just yet. But that didn't stop him from scouring your following list, going through your tags. Trying to find who this person you were with was. But not even a hint was dropped.

Obsessive!Choso who sent you the photos of his family, as awkward as you pictured them. Noticing there weren't any parents, just him and his younger brothers. Calling him immediately and laughing, “Choso- you all look adorable.” You laughed, making him blush. “This is my new laptop wallpaper, I love these pictures.” You smiled, “Nope, that's not necessary.” Choso smiled, his tone full of embarrassment., But also feeling his chest warm. ‘Making me your screensaver, and telling me you love the pictures I'm in? Can we get married already?’

Obsessive!Choso who received a picture of your laptop, you acted on your words. The photo was your screensaver, not just on your computer- but on your phone as well. Your attempts to tease him only made him think that you love him as much as he did. And that's all you did, feed into his delusions and only fuel the fire that was burning inside of him since the first day he saw you. You felt like this break with him being gone was necessary. Necessary to step back and see how you really feel for him. Remembering you've only been friends with him for- if you were being generous, was a month and a half. True, you found him intriguing before you became friends. But you didn't want to risk it. Ruin a friendship with someone like him. Slowly reeling in the line you had thrown at him, becoming open to the idea of him being just a friend.

Obsessive!Choso was on the flight home, a week earlier than he had planned- but Christmas was over. And he didn't want to be away from you any longer. Leaving his bags at his apartment before walking onto campus, small piles of snow around the doors of the coffee shop. realizing how much it really snowed. Reaching his hand for the door knob but pulling away when he hears his name being called. Turning around to see you, speed walking to him. The big coat you wore made you look like a walking marshmallow. Smiling when he saw your face, thinking of how much he longed to see you. The pixelated facetimes and photos you sent him not coming close to showing how beautiful you looked face to face.

Obsessive!Choso who blinked and somehow opened his eyes to see the top of your head, your cheek pressed to his chest. Your arms around him, hands hesitating to hug you back at the shock. Feeling his hands rest on your puffy jacket, almost nervous to touch you. Nestling your face to his chest and murmuring “Missed you.” Pulling away and looking up at him with a smile, cold weather making his nose pinkish. “I missed you too.” He smiled, almost gulping for breath. Seeing you take a step back, smile on your face. Opening your mouth to say something, “There you are, I was wondering where you ran off to.” you were interrupted. A man coming up behind you, hand on your waist- almost pulling you away from Choso. Watching you lean into his touch- 'Um?' calling your name in his head, almost in anger. ‘Who the fuck is this?’ Seeing you smile while looking over at him.

Obsessive!Choso who hid his irritation well, jaw clenched and eyebrows threatening to furrow. Seeing you scramble for words, “How rude of me- This is my good friend Choso I was telling you about.” You smiled, looking at the man who looked Choso up and down. Just with that, Choso knew this guy was using you. Just by looking at him. ‘I didn't know you were into pretty boys, older too.’ he thought, watching your eyes sparkle when you looked over at him. “And this- This is my… friend, Theo.” You beamed. ‘You didn't wait for me. But you also didn't give up on me completely. The hesitation at calling him your 'friend' tells me that.’ silence filling the air as you smiled, waiting for them to greet each other. “We were about to go to dinner, do you want to join us, Choso?” You asked. Seeing your 'friend' look over to you with a certain look on his face you only see in men who were expecting something more from a person. Sickeningly sweet smile on Choso's face when he heard 'Theo' speak, “He just got off a flight babe-” He started. ‘Babe. Babe? What an uncreative and unimaginative thing to call you, no wonder you invited me. He must not make you laugh, but that's what I'm here for. I'm here to make you see that this 'Theo' is nothing but a place holder. A place holder for me.'

pt 6 here

LET ME KNOW IF U WANNA BE TAGGED PLS ITS MY FAVORITE PART ( if u wanna be tagged without commenting pls just say sum like 'tag me continually' i don't wanna @ someone who doesn't wanna be @ ykno?

IM SORRY I ADDED ANOTHER MAN BUT PLS BE PATIENT I HAVE PLANS FOR THIS.......I wrote this today and was blushing and kicking my feet the whole time. Started at 12 pm, and finished at 3 am. I love doing this. alr writing the next part hehe

#jjk #choso kamo #choso my beloved #jjk choso #choso x reader #choso x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #college au #non curse au #emo choso #sfw jjk

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physicallyimprobable · 6 months ago

Note

what's the 3-dimensional number thing?

Well I'm glad you asked! For those confused, this is referring to my claim that "my favorite multiplication equation is 3 × 5 = 15 because it's the reason you can't make a three-dimensional number system" from back in this post. Now, this is gonna be a bit of a journey, so buckle up.

Part One: Numbers in Space

First of all, what do I mean by a three-dimensional number system? We say that the complex numbers are two-dimensional, and that the quaternions are four-dimensional, but what do we mean by these things? There's a few potential answers to this question, but for our purposes we'll take the following narrative:

Complex numbers can be written in the form (a+bi), where a and b are real numbers. For the variable-averse, this just means we have things like (3+6i) and (5-2i) and (-8+3i). Some amount of "units" (that is, ones), and some amount of i's.

Most people are happy to stop here and say "well, there's two numbers that you're using, so that's two dimensions, ho hum". I think that's underselling it, though, since there's something nontrivial and super cool happening here. See, each complex number has an "absolute value", which is its distance from zero. If you imagine "3+6i" to mean "three meters East and six meters North", then the distance to that point will be 6.708 meters. We say the absolute value of (3+6i), which is written like |3+6i|, is equal to 6.708. Similarly, interpreting "5-2i" to mean "five meters East and two meters South" we get that |5-2i| = 5.385.

The neat thing about this is that absolute values multiply really nicely. For example, the two numbers above multiply to give (3+6i) × (5-2i) = (27+24i) which has a length of 36.124. What's impressive is that this length is the product of our original lengths: 36.124 = 6.708 × 5.385. (Okay technically this is not true due to rounding but for the full values it is true.)

This is what we're going to say is necessary to for a number system to accurately represent a space. You need the numbers to have lengths corresponding to actual lengths in space, and you need those lengths to be "multiplicative", which just means it does the thing we just saw. (That is, when you multiply two numbers, their lengths are multiplied as well.)

There's still of course the question of what "actual lengths in space" means, but we can just use the usual Euclidean method of measurement. So, |3+6i| = √(3²+6²) and |5-2i| = √(5²+2²). This extends directly to the quaternions, which are written as (a+bi+cj+dk) for real numbers a, b, c, d. (Don't worry about what j and k mean if you don't know; it turns out not to really matter here.) The length of the quaternion 4+3i-7j+4k can be calculated like |4+3i-7j+4k| = √(4²+3²+7²+4²) = 9.486 and similarly for other points in "four-dimensional space". These are the kinds of number systems we're looking for.

[To be explicit, for those who know the words: What we are looking for is a vector algebra over the real numbers with a prescribed basis under which the Euclidean norm is multiplicative and the integer lattice forms a subring.]

Part Two: Sums of Squares

Now for something completely different. Have you ever thought about which numbers are the sum of two perfect squares? Thirteen works, for example, since 13 = 3² + 2². So does thirty-two, since 32 = 4² + 4². The squares themselves also work, since zero exists: 49 = 7² + 0². But there are some numbers, like three and six, which can't be written as a sum of two squares no matter how hard you try. (It's pretty easy to check this yourself; there aren't too many possibilities.)

Are there any patterns to which numbers are a sum of two squares and which are not? Yeah, loads. We're going to look at a particularly interesting one: Let's say a number is "S2" if it's a sum of two squares. (This thing where you just kinda invent new terminology for your situation is common in math. "S2" should be thought of as an adjective, like "orange" or "alphabetical".) Then here's the neat thing: If two numbers are S2 then their product is S2 as well.

Let's see a few small examples. We have 2 = 1² + 1², so we say that 2 is S2. Similarly 4 = 2² + 0² is S2. Then 2 × 4, that is to say, 8, should be S2 as well. Indeed, 8 = 2² + 2².

Another, slightly less trivial example. We've seen that 13 and 32 are both S2. Then their product, 416, should also be S2. Lo and behold, 416 = 20² + 4², so indeed it is S2.

How do we know this will always work? The simplest way, as long as you've already internalized the bit from Part 1 about absolute values, is to think about the norms of complex numbers. A norm is, quite simply, the square of the corresponding distance. (Okay yes it can also mean different things in other contexts, but for our purposes that's what a norm is.) The norm is written with double bars, so ‖3+6i‖ = 45 and ‖5-2i‖ = 29 and ‖4+3i-7j+4k‖ = 90.

One thing to notice is that if your starting numbers are whole numbers then the norm will also be a whole number. In fact, because of how we've defined lengths, the norm is just the sum of the squares of the real-number bits. So, any S2 number can be turned into a norm of a complex number: 13 can be written as ‖3+2i‖, 32 can be written as ‖4+4i‖, and 49 can be written as ‖7+0i‖.

The other thing to notice is that, since the absolute value is multiplicative, the norm is also multiplicative. That is to say, for example, ‖(3+6i) × (5-2i)‖ = ‖3+6i‖ × ‖5-2i‖. It's pretty simple to prove that this will work with any numbers you choose.

But lo, gaze upon what happens when we combine these two facts together! Consider the two S2 values 13 and 32 from before. Because of the first fact, we can write the product 13 × 32 in terms of norms: 13 × 32 = ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖. So far so good. Then, using the second fact, we can pull the product into the norms: ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖ = ‖(3+2i) × (4+4i)‖. Huzzah! Now, if we write out the multiplication as (3+2i) × (4+4i) = (4+20i), we can get a more natural looking norm equation: ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖ = ‖4+20i‖ and finally, all we need to do is evaluate the norms to get our product! (3² + 2²) × (4² + 4²) = (4² + 20²)

The cool thing is that this works no matter what your starting numbers are. 218 = 13² + 7² and 292 = 16² + 6², so we can follow the chain to get 218 × 292 = ‖13+7i‖ × ‖16+6i‖ = ‖(13+7i) × (16+6i)‖ = ‖166+190i‖ = 166² + 190² and indeed you can check that both extremes are equal to 63,656. No matter which two S2 numbers you start with, if you know the squares that make them up, you can use this process to find squares that add to their product. That is to say, the product of two S2 numbers is S2.

Part Four: Why do we skip three?

Now we have all the ingredients we need for our cute little proof soup! First, let's hop to the quaternions and their norm. As you should hopefully remember, quaternions have four terms (some number of units, some number of i's, some number of j's, and some number of k's), so a quaternion norm will be a sum of four squares. For example, ‖4+3i-7j+4k‖ = 90 means 90 = 4² + 3² + 7² + 4².

Since we referred to sums of two squares as S2, let's say the sums of four squares are S4. 90 is S4 because it can be written as we did above. Similarly, 7 is S4 because 7 = 2² + 1² + 1² + 1², and 22 is S4 because 22 = 4² + 2² + 1² + 1². We are of course still allowed to use zeros; 6 = 2² + 1² + 1² + 0² is S4, as is our friend 13 = 3² + 2² + 0² + 0².

The same fact from the S2 numbers still applies here: since 7 is S4 and 6 is S4, we know that 42 (the product of 7 and 6) is S4. Indeed, after a bit of fiddling I've found that 42 = 6² + 4² + 1² + 1². I don't need to do that fiddling, however, if I happen to be able to calculate quaternions! All I need to do is follow the chain, just like before: 7 × 6 = ‖2+i+j+k‖ × ‖2+i+j‖ = ‖(2+i+j+k) × (2+i+j)‖ = ‖2+3i+5j+2k‖ = 2² + 3² + 5² + 2². This is a different solution than the one I found earlier, but that's fine! As long as there's even one solution, 42 will be S4. Using the same logic, it should be clear that the product of any two S4 numbers is an S4 number.

Now, what goes wrong with three dimensions? Well, as you might have guessed, it has to do with S3 numbers, that is, numbers which can be written as a sum of three squares. If we had any three-dimensional number system, we'd be able to use the strategy we're now familiar with to prove that any product of S3 numbers is an S3 number. This would be fine, except, well…

3 × 5 = 15.

Why is this bad? See, 3 = 1² + 1² + 1² and 5 = 2² + 1² + 0², so both 3 and 5 are S3. However, you can check without too much trouble that 15 is not S3; no matter how hard you try, you can't write 15 as a sum of three squares.

And, well, that's it. The bucket has been kicked, the nails are in the coffin. You cannot make a three-dimensional number system with the kind of nice norm that the complex numbers and quaternions have. Even if someone comes to you excitedly, claiming to have figured it out, you can just toss them through these steps: • First, ask what the basis is. Complex numbers use 1 and i; quaternions use 1, i, j, and k. Let's say they answer with p, q, and r. • Second, ask them to multiply (p+q+r) by (2p+q). • Finally, well. If their system works, the resulting number should give you three numbers whose squares add to 15. Since that can't happen, you've shown that the norm is not actually multiplicative; their system doesn't capture the geometry of three dimensions.

#math #numbers #human interaction #this took the better part of a day to write oops #although to be fair I haven't exactly been focused #Also hi Pyro! Welcome.#that silly fast food emoji post went wild #I've gotten 30 followers just from that one post #which isn't that many in objective terms but like it's 40% of my current count so #hello everyone #I might start reblogging things again now

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comicaurora · 1 year ago

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Hey Red, I'm trying to build a better understanding of mathematics, because to my mind math has always been a collection of arcane sigils that I had to memorize to pass tests in school. I must know how these sigils came to be and why they mean what they mean. Are there any resources you recommend I use in my pursuit of these secrets? Please and Thank You 🙏

It's good you described math as something you "build," because I think that's the best analogy possible.

Mathematics, in its purest form, involves no memorization. Math is the process of taking a very small number of established truths and defined operations that preserve truth, and using those operations on your established truths to expand your space of known truths. As long as you start from a point of truth and only use operations that preserve truth, you will derive truths. If you understand the base principles from which a branch of math is constructed, you can rederive it from first principles. Memorization is easier, but you can rederive it.

For instance, we can start with two things, the number "1" and the operation "+". 1 means "a single thing" and + means "put them together." If those two concepts exist, then we also have 2, 3, 4, and every other positive integer, because we can derive them by using + on as many 1s as we want. If we drop a rock on an empty patch of ground, and then drop a rock on that same patch of ground, that patch of ground now has two rocks on it.

If we include within the definition of "+" that there exists an identity value 0, and every value has an inverse that when added to it produces zero, we also get 0 and all the negative integers, producing the group of integers. Every integer can be expressed using nothing but the number 1, the + operation, and its inverse - if we're feeling spicy.

If we decide to add another truth-preserving operation, "*", with identity value 1 and the same kind of inverse property that "+" has, we rederive every rational number. Every number in this field of rational numbers can be described as a combination of 0s and 1s using only + and * and their inverses; truthful objects combined in truth-preserving operations. We started from the truth and we used it as our only building material to create something equally truthful.

We can memorize a multiplication table, but multiplication is just iterated addition. If we forget, we can just do the addition again.

Algebra is a simple rearrangement of a simple beginning math problem by way of other truth-preserving operations. When you're starting out, you might expect to see something like

3 + 5 = ?

Algebra starts when we replace "?" with a placeholder, "x". This is just a change of terminology. It preserves truth.

3 + 5 = x

This isn't what most algebra problems look like, though. Most basic algebra problems look more like

3x + 7 = 31

But these two formulae are the same, because we can turn one into the other through operations that preserve truth.

3x + 7 = 31 -> subtracting the same value from both sides of the equation is an operation that preserves truth. We subtract 7 from both sides, getting

3x = 24 -> dividing both sides of the equation by the same value is also an operation that preserves truth. We divide both sides by 3, getting

x = 8 -> addition is associative, so we can break 8 up however we want if we do

x = 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = (1 + 1 + 1) + (1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1) = 3 + 5

Solving an algebra problem is the process of breaking down the things that make it complicated using the truth-preserving operations that defeat them. Added values can be subtracted. Multiples can be divided. Exponents can be root'd.

We understand what it means to put a placeholder in a math problem. We realize, by the same token, we can put in more than one placeholder, if we want. This gives us problems that don't have single numerical solutions, but spaces of solutions. Consider

2*x = ?

We do what we did before, replacing that "?" with something that means the same thing. We use a different letter to avoid confusion.

2*x = y

Now we have multivariable algebra. Instead of getting hard numbers for both variables, we have pairs of numbers. If we pick an x, we get a y. If we pick a y, we get an x. The relationship between the values is clearly defined; x will always be y/2. If x is 3, y is 6. If x is -1.8, y is -3.6.

Now for the sake of convenience, we create shorthand - another change of terminology that preserves truth. We come up with a term that describes this relationship between x and y. We decide to call y a "function."

y = f(x) = 2*x

A function is what we're calling one half of an equation; what goes on the other side of the equals sign. It's just a rename, like when we turned ? into x. It preserves truth.

The trick at this stage is that every element of this seeming increasingly complexity is actually an attempt to make the process simpler as we handle more and more things. We don't technically need any numbers other than 0 and 1 if we're just dealing with rational numbers. We could write 378/5 with nothing but 1s and +, -, * and /, but by god we wouldn't want to. We could write [x^3 + 2x + 5] as ?*?*? + ? + ? + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 and it would mean the same thing. The shorthand and symbols get dizzying if you lose track of what they mean, but when you remember what they mean, you understand why you need them.

Any piece of mathematical shorthand basically means "for this thing we're talking about, this set of things is known to be true." We can rederive those things if we need to, but the shorthand is there to help us avoid doing it unnecessarily. We call the integers a group because that means it has an associative operation that is invertible and has an identity element that, when used in the operation, leaves the operated-on value unchanged. We don't want to write that out every time we use + or remember what 0 means, but we can if we have to.

Calculus is where most people think math turns into wizardry, but derivatives and integrals are just another pair of inverse functions like + and - or * and /, and the building block of this branch of math is the derivative. Any formula for a derivative can, in a pinch, be rederived by calculating the difference quotient (f[x+h]-f[x])/h as h approaches 0. If f(x)=x^2, we may memorize that its derivative f'(x)=2x, or we may calculate

[f(x+h) - f(x)]/h =

([x+h]^2 - x^2)/h =

(x^2 + 2xh + h^2 - x^2)/h =

(2xh + h^2)/h = 2x + h

And the limit of this as h->0 is 2x.

Everything in math can be broken down to first principles. Everything. Sometimes it's very hard to figure out what tool you need to break it down to its next stage of simplification, but it was built from first principles and it can be broken down the same way. If it isn't making sense, break it down with truth-preserving methods until it does - even if you have to go all the way back to zeroes and ones.

#asks #not aurora

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hiraethwa · 5 months ago

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one summer day

10 epiphany. where ushijima has a sudden realization

<< 09 disconnect. | >> 11 epiphany.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: we only go up from here, my loves - ave word count: 3.7k 💀 warnings: violence, threats, vile, misogynistic comments (by a rando), cursing tags: @lemurzsquad @daisy-room @integers -- (inbox me if you want to be added to the tag list)

april, third year

ushijima wakatoshi is by no means a people person. he is a highly motivated individual, mind always focused on the task at hand. he does not mind people interacting with him, although he can survive without it.

he enjoys playing volleyball and listening to his teammates, occasionally adding to the conversation, but he has never been a particularly talkative person like tendo. it’s not that he dislikes human interaction, he just finds that sometimes, some things are better left unspoken, or perhaps unnecessary altogether.

he never goes out of his way to befriend someone – he was already busy with volleyball as it is, and to add to it, staying on top of his school’s demanding curriculum. people has commented on his stoicism and general unapproachability behind his back, not that he cares enough about it. so naturally, he did not have a lot of friends to begin with.

wakatoshi thinks that he is satisfied with his way of life and intends on keeping it simple with just school and volleyball, and none of the drama that he’s heard going around his year all the time. or rather, he intended to.

and so, he finds himself confused, and irritated as well, when this guy from his year, apparently the captain of the basketball or baseball or whatever, he could care less, tries to start some kind of shit with him.

ushijima was on his way to lunch with tendo when this idiot came and started badmouthing him and the volleyball team, calling him a useless piece of shit and some other names that he stopped listening to. he wondered what the point of this confrontation is when he doesn’t even know who this person is.

with a blank stare and a twitching eyebrow, ushijima cuts him off, “i’m sorry, who are you again?”

it only made him angrier and humiliated, with the crowd that is starting to form around the commotion. “my name is yamasaki takeo.”

“i don’t recall asking for your opinion, yamasaki-san,” ushijima retorts irritably, eliciting a gasp from tendo who is next to him.

yamasaki gapes at him, as the whispers from the students around them grow audibly.

that ought to be the end of it, ushijima thinks, as he makes to leave the scene that yamasaki caused. he has better things to worry about, like the fact that you are still not on speaking terms with him, rather than this pointless confrontation that is clearly wasting his time.

“that’s right, because you’re too busy trying to get into miyamura’s pants than focusing on volleyball, aren’t you?”

tendo reckons that the idiot is relentless in picking a fight with him, and apparently has a death wish. for he had the balls to bring your name up when it is currently occupying the top spot in ushijima’s list of touchy subjects, which is very, very short. in fact, it only has one entry right now.

ushijima clenches his fists. now he is truly irritated, and his short patience is reaching its end.

yamasaki, noticing that he is finally getting a reaction out of the indifferent volleyball captain, delightedly goes on to drag your name through the mud.

“is it really that difficult to get your little girlfriend to sleep with you, captain, if you are so high and mighty? or is it just you that she is not interested in?” he mocks ushijima, a shit eating grin on his face now that he has ushijima’s full attention, discovering his weakness. “maybe she’s actually sleeping around with your friends. in fact, i wouldn’t be so surprised if she is, considering how close she is to semi eita as of late.”

if looks could kill, yamasaki would be long dead by now. his only saving grace being the thin fraying thread of patience that ushijima is holding on to. a very, very thin thread.

“if you know what’s good for you, keep her name out of your filthy mouth.” ushijima grits his teeth.

ushijima hates that he has you dragged into this spectacle. you’re not his girlfriend, much less his friend at this very moment. he hates that too, that you are so far away from his reach. he dislikes the hole your absence left in his meticulous schedule, and he misses the warmth your presence brings him.

for your sake, he has been keeping his temper in check. convincing himself that getting into a brawl with yamasaki would only serve to fan the flames of the situation when word spreads around school, and the one who would suffer the most would be you.

but it appears that yamasaki is asking, practically begging for it, as he continues his goading. “maybe i need to get a taste of her, considering how well she has you wrapped around her finger.”

the thread explodes.

red. red is all ushijima could see as someone grabs a hold of yamasaki’s collar and throws a fist into his cocky face. he is so full of shit. a killing calm descends on ushijima as he watches the person pull his arm back and send another punch to yamasaki. again. and again.

he vaguely registers his friend shouting his name and pulling on his arm with a few of other students. semi and ohira, he realizes. puzzled, he looks down to see his hand gripping tightly onto the front of yamasaki’s uniform, and his left hand is covered in blood.

oh. oh. that was him who punched the asshole.

ushijima releases his hold on yamasaki, breathing heavily as the gravity of the situation settles in. it isn’t some inconsequent drama to circulate around school anymore.

yamasaki struggles to stand, coughing out blood. his nose sits crookedly on his face, most possibly broken. but he has the nerve to smirk, as much as he could, at ushijima. “not so strong now, are you?”

“says the one with a sorry state for a face,” semi retorts, tense from the whole situation.

he merely wipes at his bloodied face, waving semi off. “i am not the one you need to worry about. i am also not the one who is risking his spot on the under 19 team for the youth world championship with a scandal.”

ushijima recoils, blood running cold. was that his goal all along?

“maybe, i will forgive your actions, if you get on your knees and beg,” yamasaki pauses, a dark glint in his eyes, “and give y/n to me.”

his words have ushijima struggling to break free from his teammates, caution thrown to the winds, ready to beat him to a pulp.

“let go of me!” ushijima growls. fuck the consequences, there is no way in hell he will let this asshole lay a finger on you.

he does not notice the crowd parting as the students recognize you and allow you space to get to the front of the commotion. the frown on your face from witnessing the latter half of the events unfolding after you yielded to chika’s curiosity of the commotion that sent students running in the hallways and getting their friends to join them. the sigh that escapes your lips from being the center of the drama.

“is that all it really takes?” your voice stops him in his attempts to break free, his head snapping towards you in shock.

ushijima has not felt fear in years, certainly not on the volleyball court, not since his parents had a messy divorce, but your words send his heart dropping to the floor. “y/n–”

“stay out of it.” you breathe sharply at him, needing your wits about you if you were to get him out of this situation unscathed. turned away from yamasaki, you let out a trembling breath and steel your nerves.

you’ve worn a mask in your own home for years, this is nothing, you remind yourself. sure, the whispers would spread, but for him, you would wreck yourself. to hell with this asshole if he dares to try to bring ushijima down. ironic, considering you distanced yourself to save your own heart. when it is all said and done, it still belongs to him.

“unfortunately, i am not an object that ushijima can simply give away, yamasaki-san, but am i worth the lengths you went to?”

you observe as his eyes dart behind you at ushijima. so that’s how it is. you are not what he wants. what he wants is to get to ushijima, for reasons you can surmise from the gossip that had been floating around the last week.

if you play your cards right, you could twist his arm behind his back, figuratively speaking. he would have no choice but to back down, you hope. if not… you don’t want to even think about it. this has to be enough.

“why don’t i propose you a better trade?” you bat your lashes at the scum in front of you, playing the role of the ever helpless girl using her body to get away with things. praying to the gods above that he will take the bait. just come a little closer and i will show you my teeth, bastard.

surely, you can’t be thinking of actually going out with yamasaki, ushijima tries to convince himself as he watches you smile at the asshole coyly. you are smarter than that, and he is not worth your sacrifice.

or is he? he averts his eyes as you lean in towards yamasaki. shoves the prickling sense of unfamiliar discomfort down. shushes the pealing bells in his mind. the urge to pummel his face to nothing.

he tries to put his mind elsewhere, but a sense of inevitability creeps in. dread, he realizes, crawls up his spine and makes its home there.

he wants to shout at you. something. anything. anything but this. he doesn’t need to be in the youth 19 team. he would rather risk it all. he doesn’t need anything, doesn’t want anything but you by his side. and the thought of it terrifies him.

“wakatoshi-kun,” tendo nudges him and grabs his attention away from his thoughts. he follows tendo’s gaze towards you and takashima, whose cocky smirk was completely wiped off his bloodied and bruised face and replaced by a paleness that looked like fear. “that’s your girl.”

“i’m so glad we were able to come to an understanding, takashima-san. i would hate for such a nasty argument to get even more out of hand, don’t you agree? now that we are on the same page, i’m sure this won’t happen again. right, takashima-san?” ushijima shudders at the underlying hostility in your fake cheery voice that is directed towards takashima. he never wants to be on the receiving end of it, he thinks.

you lay a hand on his arm, an eerily innocent smile on your face. and takashima winces, nodding quickly and too eagerly compared to his earlier behavior.

“i guess we will see you around?” ushijima catches on to the hidden demand under your nice words. you better stay away from us. “oh, do you need a hand to the nurse’s office?”

what exactly did he miss? but he is too awestruck by the way you turned the situation around that he forgot to correct tendo’s earlier statement.

he tunes out takashima’s stuttering response as you turn around, a frown finding its way onto your beautiful features as your cold eyes land on him. barely registers tendo calling “show’s over” and gesturing at the crowd to disperse and mind their own business.

he hates the mask you are wearing, pushing everyone, and him, away as a defense mechanism. he hates that he is the reason you had to don it today to protect him from his own actions.

ushijima finds himself reaching out to you to smooth out the furrow in your brows, only to be met by resistance. your slender fingers hook onto his wrist, halting his movement for a split second before dropping his hand like a hot potato.

“people are watching,” you remind him. your eyes catch on his left hand, where the skin on his knuckles was split, hesitating on your next words. “you should get that treated.”

he frowns, already missing the feeling of your skin on his. why would he care that people are watching?

the four of them end up walking to the nurse’s office with ohira dismissing himself from the group for some errand he had to run for his class. tendo being tendo, starts pestering you about what you did and how you did it despite your clipped answers.

ushijima finds himself staring at the back of your head, unsure if you are just a figment of his imagination from how long he went without interacting with you. next to him, semi nods his head at you, “she doesn’t hate you, you know.”

he stays quiet. if that’s true, then why are you so intent on avoiding him?

“you are both impossible,” semi huffs in disbelief.

finding the nurse’s office empty, semi lets your little group into the dark room. tendo beelines for the cabinet, rummaging for supplies. you didn’t have the energy to tell them that they should probably wait for the nurse to come back.

you keep to the door, fidgeting as if you could not decide to stay or go. “see you guys” you blurt, feet moving quickly out the door.

“y/n–” ushijima panics. is this it? is this all he has left of you?

“i’ll go talk to her.” semi promises, running after you, leaving ushijima in tendo’s hands.

they sit in silence as tendo cleans up ushjima’s bloodied knuckles, the latter unphased by the sting of disinfectant on raw skin with his entire focus on the doorway. wishing.

sure enough, semi returns with an uneasy y/n in tow, looking like you would rather be anywhere but there.

he makes you sit on the bed across from ushijima, an indecipherable look in his eyes. “stay, you two need to talk. tendo and i will be right outside.” translation: don’t think about leaving until you talk to him. to which you return an unamused look, crossing your arms in a defensive manner.

you wait until the door clicks closed behind them before stealing a glance at ushijima. his stare displaces you, as if there is nothing more important than you. unbelievable, you think.

you open your mouth to say something – something mean and hurtful so that he would stop looking at you like he cared, but decide against it, knowing full well your anger, the serpent that rarely rears its head is nasty when it does.

“why are you avoiding me?” he breaks the silence. the first words you’ve heard from him in a long while, not counting the short exchange earlier and during orchestra practice. you would be lying if you said you didn’t miss his voice. that it didn’t calm the wary hissing wild animal in you on some subconscious level.

“why do you care, ushijima?” the name still leaves a bitter taste on your tongue even though you have tried to get over it. you don’t actually love him, right? it’s just a schoolgirl infatuation. or at least, that is what you keep telling yourself, hoping that it will be true when you repeat it enough times.

“you are my friend, y/n.” his eyes snap to yours, begging you to understand.

the feeling of drowning creeps in, bringing you back to the first sleepless nights after you cut him off. how pathetic you were running after someone who did not even treat you as their friend. how worthless. how you went from wishing that he saw you as you are to wishing that he never walked into your life.

“no, if i am your friend, then why didn’t you tell me about the nationals? fuck, i had to find out from semi, and it was only because they needed me to stop you from hurting yourself. what the fuck am i to you, ushijima wakatoshi?” you snap at him.

he starts to say something, but you are not done, not yet.

“why bother? why save me from myself, tell me you’re my friend, when you certainly don’t act like it when it comes to yourself? do you think so little of me? or am i just some basket case to you?” your fists curl at your sides, angry tears threatening to escape your eyes, as you will them back.

why did you start the fight? why?

and then he is at your feet, kneeling and taking your hands into his, looking at you as if you are his salvation. “it was easy, caring for you. felt right, like second nature. you matter to me, but i–” he glances away for a second, almost too much, he thinks “–i don’t know how to let others do the same to me, even if it’s you, that didn’t come naturally. i’m sorry, y/n.” his knuckles are gentle against your skin, brushing away the tears that you didn’t realize started sliding down your cheeks.

the silence stretches, interrupted by your sniffles here and there.

“talk to me.” he tucks the hair that is covering your face behind your ear.

your voice is a pained quiet. “i was running away from you, afraid of what your answer could be. i was scared that you found me unworthy. i felt pathetic, yearning for your friendship if you didn’t feel the same way. but–” your throat tightens at your cowardice, realizing your own mistake.

“it could have been avoided if you just talked to me.” wakatoshi finishes your sentence for you.

“you’re a fucking hypocrite.” you retort, kicking his knee in pettiness. “don’t think you’re so easily forgiven.” and just like that he is forgiven. your heart once again safely tucked away in his hands, returned to its owner after weeks of being torn away bleeding and broken by yours.

it’s unfair, really. the effortlessness it takes on his part to make you whole unknowingly. maybe you were born without a heart, given away to ushijima by fate. maybe he is meant to come into your life and give it back, to remind you that you are alive, and to live.

you keep telling yourself that he is meant for more than you. which is the truth. but it is also because you are afraid of losing him forever.

but he recognizes the way you deflect away from your own vulnerability. “make me beg for it, i’ll do anything to redeem myself.” you mean too much to me.

“anything?” you tap your chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “how about going to the tanabata festival in your kuromontsuki haori hakama?”

you are trying to see how far he would go to satisfy your demands. usually people wear yukatas to summer festivals, the most casual traditional option, and the most comfortable one in the sweltering heat of summer. a kuromontsuki haori hakama is the highest rank of kimono for men and only worn for formal occasions like weddings and funerals.

but you would kill to see him in one, and it doesn’t hurt to ask.

“that would be a little difficult… how about a haori hakama?” which is less formal than what you suggested, though enough that he will still stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd, but– “fine.” you wanted to see him in a full formal kimono.

“i get the crispy ends of your katsu.” nod. “give me a piggyback ride home.” an eyebrow raise, but nod. “i want the only bottle of grape squash that you guys buy every single time.” nod.

“no more keeping secrets from me.”

“done.”

“i will have to think of more later, you’re currently on probation.” you narrow your eyes at him, gesturing with your hand, i’m watching you. he catches it deftly, getting all up in your space.

your breath hitches as he comes eye to eye with you, only inches to spare. “i’m sorry. i’ll do better, i promise.”

you hear his words, sure, but the thunderous beating of your heart is coming from every direction, deafening. in that moment, you forgot how to speak, tongue twisted in a way that cannot be undone. so you panic, feet kicking out instinctively.

several things happen in quick succession. wakatoshi grunts, curling backwards in pain. the door bursts open as semi and tendo comes running in to defuse the situation. you sit there in shock. tendo starts cackling at the scene in front of him, tears shining in his eyes.

“damn, one after another, y/n, you’re putting these boys down real hard.” he wipes his eyes with laughter.

“it was an accident!”

“sure, sure, if you say so.” he slowly backs out of the room, having a distinctive feeling that you may want to land one on him too.

“get back here, tendo satori! oi, where do you think you are going? you still need to dress toshi’s wounds.” you dash at him.

“back to toshi now, are we? why don’t you do it yourself?” he snickers, running away.

semi shakes his head at the two of you, glancing at his captain who is still recovering from your kick in the nuts. he winces at the thought of it. “you good?”

ushijima looks towards where tendo now has an arm thrown over your shoulders, affectionately ruffling your hair, utterly unfazed by the way you are snapping at him.

“i told you, i am not telling you! it defeats the purpose of what i said to that scum if i told you! get your dirty hands off of me.” you frown at the redhead, and then as if sensing his eyes on you, you point at ushijima. “you, don’t ever pick fights again even if i get dragged into it, it’s not worth it.”

“but he picked a fight with ushijima-kun first.”

“why, you brat. do you want to find out what dirty secrets i know about you?”

“wah, scary, y/n-chan. remind me to never get on your bad side.”

you make a face at tendo, which ushijima finds adorable. his lips quirk in a smile at the scene unfolding in front of them, finally responding to semi’s earlier question.

“yeah. yeah, i think so.”

“ushijima-kun, you’re down bad.”

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dira333 · 3 months ago

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Of Swings and Snakes - Matsukawa x Reader - part 2

part 1 for anyone who missed it. I apologize for taking so long. Life hit me like a train right after writing the first part. I hope you enjoy the second part, where they get their shit together.

tagging: @lees-chaotic-brain, @togament (the angsty Mattsun anon), @constantlybeingbiaswrecked @multi-fandom-fanfic @integers @sy1v30n @iatethemochi

“Are you sure about that?” Makki asks, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, “Really sure?”

“Really, really sure,” you tell him, grabbing your purse a little tighter. “This will do me good. Get to know myself in a new city, you know? And I’m sure you’ve got other things to do than keeping me company. I’ve got to go now, though, I will call you when the plane lands.”

“No,” Makki’s hands are on your shoulders, keeping you in place, “Five more minutes, okay?”

“Makki?” You level him with a glare. “What’s going on?”

But there’s another voice behind him, one you wish you could have forgotten but still hear every night in your dreams.

“Sorry,” Mattsun’s panting, sweat running down his temple, “Traffic jam.”

Two weeks before

“What’s for Dinner?” Makki asks, sniffing at the door. “I made Okonomiyaki,” you announce proudly, placing the dish on the table, “I hope you’re hungry.”

It’s gotten easier these days, pretending that you’re happy.

Sometimes you even find yourself laughing, smiling, forgetting about the cloud of sadness that hides in your chest, keeping you from breathing at the worst times.

You’ve yet to meet Mattsun again, and since you are part of the same friend group two weeks without him feels like a year in the real world.

But, a cold voice whispers, it’s not like you saw him a lot before your breakup anyway.

“I can’t believe you,” you pull away from Makki, dread heavy in your stomach. “You told him?”

“Hey,” Mattsun’s voice cuts through you like a hot knife. “Can we talk?”

“I’ve got a plane to catch,” you hiss, heart bleeding as his face falls. Somehow, even now, you’re still attached in places you didn’t know. Like two pieces of fabric, sown together so tight you can’t pull on one without hurting the other.

“You’ve got five minutes,” you tell him, throat tight. You send Makki the harshest glare you can manage. “And you can leave.”

“Sorry,” he has the decency to look ashamed as he slinks away.

You grab your purse a little tighter, the familiar feel of it soothing your nerves a little.

“Can we walk?” You ask, voice quivering, “I don’t want to miss my plane.”

“Yeah, sure, okay.” Issei rubs the back of his head as he walks, one hand dangerously close to brushing yours.

“I wanted… I wanted to explain.”

“Now?”

“Yeah,” he swallows thickly. “I think I messed everything up.”

You stop walking, make the mistake of looking into his eyes.

The noise and bustle of the airport fades away as you remember a different time.

1 year before

“Promise not to tell?” Issei asks over the low hum of the Fan. It’s much too hot to be cuddling like this, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

“No one’s going to judge you-” You start, your voice soft, but there’s an urgency in his eyes, a desperate vulnerability you’ve never seen before, just felt in your own bones.

“I promise,” you tell him, pinkies linked over your hearts.

You can feel, little by little, how his shoulders drop, the weight of the world sliding off.

His temple presses against yours, the skin flushed and warm to the touch.

But you don’t comment on it, and neither do you mention the salty tears that drop from his eyes onto your cheeks.

Because Issei might be taller than you and stronger than you and smarter than you - sometimes - but he has yet to learn to allow himself to be.

“Hey,” you grab his hand, too familiar with the sight of him when he tries not to cry.

He used to joke about it, the lone benefit of losing a game, because no one would judge you for crying then when everyone would judge you for it the rest of the time.

“Issei, it’s okay.” The words come out of their own.

When he pulls you in you can feel the tears soaking into your hair, the quiver of his shoulders as you curl your arms around him.

Maybe it’s because you cared for him for too long, the comfort you give Muscle Memory. But you don’t think it is. Because your heart beats two beats instead of one like it usually did around him.

“Talk to me?” You ask and he nods, his chin scraping the top of your head.

“I love you.”

“I know,” you sigh.

“No,” he shakes his head. You can feel it more than you see it. “You don’t know. Because I didn’t tell you as often as I should have. Because I thought… I was doing odd jobs in the evening, trying to get through the courses faster as a… as a surprise… Because I wanted us to get a good start. To do it right from the beginning.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask, pulling back to look at him. His eyes are red and the way he wipes his nose on his sleeve is less than appealing, but he’s chuckling dryly through the pain.

“I thought… I thought I was supposed to do this on my own.”

“What-”

He shakes his head, stops you with a raised hand.

“I did a cooking class in the evenings… I wasn’t cheating.”

You gape at him.

“Why?”

“Because,” he pulls his shoulders up, “You were always cooking. I wanted to help out.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me? At least when I was breaking up with you?”

You sound almost hysteric now. Issei flinches at the sound of your voice.

“I was trying-”

“No,” you shake your head. “You weren’t. You just left.”

“Because you wanted-”

“Issei,” you swallow harshly and grab his hands. “Issei, listen to me. We’re no longer kids.”

He blinks. “I know.”

“If we can’t talk about things we can’t stay together.”

“But-”

“No,” you shake your head. “You know that. It’s the little things, not the big things. You can’t just show up and ask me to stay only to make the same mistakes a few months in.”

“But I love you.”

“And I love you.” You swallow the tears that now threaten to fall from your face too. “But I think we need to grow up first.”

“How?”

Overhead your flight is called.

“I don’t know,” you admit for the first time. You have no idea what you’re doing. “But I think leaving might be a start. I’ll… I’ll text when I get there, okay?”

Your hand slips out of his only for him to grab it again, pulling you back.

You want to say something but he silences you with a kiss.

“I’ll fight for this,” he promises, a fire in his eyes that you have missed.

“Good,” you agree a little breathless, “me too.”

But you still leave.

3 weeks later

“Oh, Boyfriend’s calling,” your coworker jokes as you sprint back to your desk at the sound of your ringtone.

“It’s not like that,” you try to explain what is, in fact, not that easy to explain.

“Hey,” you’re out of breathe as you pick up, checking the clock on the wall. You’ve got about fifteen minutes before your next shift starts.

“Hey,” Issei’s voice is warm, yet cautious. “Bad timing?”

“It’s okay,” you huff, getting comfortable. “We’ve got fifteen minutes. How’s everybody doing?”

Whoever said that relocating to a new country is easy has either lied or did drugs half of the time.

Because it’s neither easy nor enjoyable at first.

Or maybe that’s just the way it is when you relocate with a severely broken heart.

Your new apartment is even smaller than the one you lived in before even though you share it with a roommate - Sang Hee is a lot cleaner than Issei, but she plays the drums every night. You’ve yet to find your comfort foods in the stores near your apartment and making Onigiri yourself just doesn’t hit the same way.

And it’s lonely, living like this.

Sure, there’s Sang Hee and Ae-cha from your business Class and Dae-hyun from work, but they don’t know you the way Issei, Makki, or even Kyoutani knew you.

All those inside jokes and memes are lost on them and it’s hard to build it all up anew.

“You do have a tendency to shut others out,” Ae-chan diagnoses you over coffee like she’s just guessed your favorite anime. “Have you ever thought about therapy?”

“I don’t- I- I guess, I-” You stammer as she blows on her tea to cool it down.

“I do have someone I can recommend,” she smiles. “And I apologize if I’m being too forward, but my mom and my dad are both therapists. I think it runs in the family.”

“Ouch.”

She laughs. “I get that a lot. Now, tell me about your boyfriend again.”

“He’s not my-”

“Tell me about your friend, who is a boy and used to live with you.”

You sigh. “Well, his name is Issei and he never put his dirty socks where they belong…”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Issei asks.

“I-” You hesitate for a second, wringing your hands. “It feels weird to see you here. Like you don’t belong to this city yet. As if I cut you out of my dreams and placed you in front of a greenscreen.”

He doesn’t laugh. His arms hang limp and you move to grab one arm, feel the familiar sensation of his rough, warm skin on yours.

Ever since you’ve left, you’ve been in constant contact.

Sometimes it’s just a text, letting the other know how you’d rate your day. Sometimes he calls, the conversation going for hours on end.

It’s easier, in a way, to admit things when you can’t see his face.

It feels like noone can judge, in the Silence of your room.

“Makki says hello,” he mumbles now, his fingers closing around yours.

You leave that uncommented.

You and Makki still talk, but you feel like he’s not quite understanding what you’re going through. Why you have to stay away for so long.

Issei doesn’t ask you to come back when he leaves. But he leans down to kiss you, steady posture even as you lean in as well, meeting him in the middle.

“One day, we’ll tell our children,” you tell him at night, his voice crackling through the receiver.

“That we were stupid?”

“Stupid as hell,” you agree. “Followed all the wrong advice.”

He hums low in his throat and you can see him, huddled up in bed, sleep dragging him down.

“Will you marry me?” He asks, the question as soft as the one before.

“Yeah,” you agree just as softly, “I will.”

Because this isn’t a proposal. This is what communication has come to between you.

You can talk about the future with a different certainty now.

It will happen. You just don’t know yet when.

Finally

“Welcome back,” Issei’s arms are open and you snuggle right in, giggling when his hug lifts you off the ground.

Behind you, our belongings wait to be carried to his apartment. Your apartment.

And even though you’ve been there before, it feels different now.

Because you’re not leaving again.

This time, you’re here to stay.

Oh and Makki? Rumour has it he’s renting the apartment on the other side of the hallway.

“Hey,” Issei meets you in the kitchen around midnight. “Can’t sleep?”

“I needed to pee and when I got up I had this craving for chocolate.” You hold the spoon to his lips so that he can lick it. “I was going to bring it to you.”

Instead of answering, he pulls you close.

It has been a hard time, for the both of you.

Figuring out who you are, who the other is and, most importantly, how to find a way out of your arguments.

“Did you find the box?” Issei whispers into your ear.

“Oh, you mean the box you hid behind the chocolate sprinkles.”

You can feel his lips stretch into a smile.

“So, what’s your answer?”

“Dunno, what’s the question?”

He snorts before letting go.

You already know what you’re going to see when you turn, but you do it anyway.

Issei, on one knee, wearing his ridiculous Pokemon Pajamas he got from Makki once… holding a velvety ring box in his left hand.

“Will you marry me?”

“Always.”

#my writing #matsukawa x reader #mattsun x reader #matsukawa fluff #matsukawa angst #mattsun angst #mattsun fluff #mattsun #matsukawa issei #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n

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bugs1nmybrain · 1 year ago

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YESSSS PLSSSS l x reader smut 🙏 maybe they work together or smth and it gets a little frisky??

Admittedly, I don't know the logistics of being a detective outside of Death Note and crime documentaries, and I can't picture my self in that occupation. However, I like thinking of the idea of L and the reader sitting alongside in each other's company while he works on his cases via his computer, and the reader working on something else such as college homework. So I'll work with that ;).

Distraction

Minors Do Not Interact

Warnings: Heteronormative sex and relationship, L uses pet names like "my love" and "darling," desk sex, established relationship, reader is neurodivergent-coded, reader is a college student, reader is heavier than L, nipple/breast play, L uses clinical terms during sex, oral (fem-receiving), unprotected sex

L could not for the life of him keep his eyes off of you.

He was slightly confused, considering that today wasn't different from any other day. You sat next to him on your computer, doing work for your classes, and he worked on his cases, at least anything that wouldn't expose too much information around you.

Maybe it was that ridiculous wet dream he had of you last night. L doesn't sleep nearly as much as others. Not only did he see it as a wedge in his schedule, but his dreams sometimes distracted him because of his analytical perspective on everything. Sometimes he dreamt of his parents, sometimes about the cruelty of his job, and other times...you.

You weren't helping the situation. Of course you had to choose to wear a very form fitting outfit today. L almost had an issue with how revealing your outfit was, but he knew he shouldn't dictate things like that. But if anyone else looked at you the way he was right now, he wouldn't be happy.

Your shirt practically hugged your torso, giving L a perfect view of the shape of your breasts. Your shorts were also, indeed, short, showing off your gorgeous thighs and their beautiful complexion.

It wasn't only your body, though. L wasn't that shallow. It was also the cutest expression you made while you focused on your homework. How you'd scrunch your face when you didn't quite understand something. Your hair fell in your face and you'd tuck it behind to see your notes better, but then it would just fall back in your face. Even the way you sipped on your drink was turning him on. He felt animalistic.

L wasn't the type to get lost in temptation like this. Sure he indulged in any sweets he wished without the consideration of the toll it would take on his body. And yes, he'd take some almost impulsive, bold decisions when he was determined to take a step further in an investigation. Perhaps he was someone who was swayed by temptation, now that he thought about it.

"L?"

Oh god. Now your voice.

"What is it, love?"

The most insignificant terms of endearment always made you blush or giggle. And it was adorable to him.

"I..um..I'm having a bit of trouble with this part of my homework. Would it..? I don't mean to pry for answers, but-"

"No need to apologize. What is it you're confused about?"

L took this opportunity to move his rolling chair directly next to yours. He leaned over your shoulder, peaking at the laptop in front of you. Lucky for him, he now had a wonderful view of your breasts.

You perked up at his close proximity, and L could've sworn he saw you squirm a bit.

"I'm having trouble with using Excel for the Goodness-of-fit test (you were taking a Statistics class). I checked my data and it's all correct so I'm really confused why my answers aren't coming out right."

L took a look at your screen and in a matter of two seconds knew what was wrong, "You have to round up your expected values to the closest whole integer. It should come out right if you do that."

You smiled beamingly and returned with a, "thank you."

"Of course, darling." L leaned in to kiss your cheek, eliciting a bright smile and blush. You were avoiding eye contact with him, but he knew that was your signal of enjoying his affection. L noticed early on that you were easily charmed by displays of affection, whether that be words of endearment or physical affection. L was not one for touching anyone before you. He had begun to learn how touch-starved he also was when you two had begun your relationship.

The look on your face and your body language was enough to make him hard. Your reactions are what got him the most.

L brought his hand to stroke your hair around your neck gently, making you tingle under his touch.

"Do you have anything else planned for the day?"

"Not really. This is the last bit of homework I have for the day. I don't know what I want to do after that."

"Mm.." L leaned closer, and wrapped his arms around your waist (as much as he could manage with you being in a chair).

You laughed playfully yet again but leaned into his touch. L took it upon himself to make a move, having an inclination that you wanted him to be more affectionate with you. He gently kisses the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine, and a delightful hum from you.

"You're so beautiful, did you know that?" L teases.

You laugh and blush at his compliment, "You must be lying."

"Not at all. The truth is, you're gorgeous. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes off of you today because of your beauty and charm."

"I noticed."

Of course you did. You were an observant person, which is something L admired about you. Though maybe it wasn't too hard to tell, for he hadn't necessarily been sneaky with his glances at you.

"Does it make you nervous when I look at you like this?" L probes.

"No. Well, I feel a little embarrassed, but I'm not uncomfortable by you."

"There's no need to be embarrassed, I'm merely admiring how adorable you are. I don't want you to feel self conscious."

But deep down, L found your shyness cute and he often took advantage of it. L begins trailing soft kisses along your neck as he held you.

"Mmfmm."

Your voice was going to drive him crazy. If you two weren't in separate chairs right now, you would be able to feel L's prominent erection through his pants. L moves his hands from your waist to the sides of your arms, touching them in a feather-like motion in an attempt to make you feel just as aroused as he is. You sigh desperately at his loving affection.

"You're distracting me from my homework..," you say playfully.

"Good. You've been distracting me all day," L retorts.

An instinctive breathy laugh comes out from you but quickly turns into a pleasured yearn. L takes this as an invitation to turn your chair around.

"Sit in my lap."

"Um..."

"I don't want to hear the excuse that you're too heavy. I insist."

L's look of lust and need makes it apparent that he's aching for this. You oblige his request and rest yourself on his lap, trying not to put your whole weight down. L places his hands on your hips, though, and pulls you down. You underestimated his strength sometimes, because of how light he is.

L initiates a deep, romantic, and passionate kiss. His lips embrace yours tenderly, yet full of yearning. You grind your hips along his crotch, feeling his very obvious boner, which causes a spike of arousal in your pussy.

The kisses between the two of you quickly become much more heated. L slips his tongue to search for an entrance, and you allow him to explore yours as he gropes your breasts, though not too rough. L was a very meticulous lover and not very aggressive. No one would've been able to tell that he's a very tender, sweet, and loving boy. He only let you see that side of him.

He tweaks your left nipple through your shirt, causing a surprisingly powerful response from you. Sounds of pleasure exit your mouth and you hold onto your boyfriend close for comfort. He continues to run his thumb along your sensitive bud, and makes sure to begin to give the other just as much attention.

"Aaahh~"

"Hmm..does this feel good, my love?"

"Y-yes.." you whine.

L continues his treatment as he kisses you. He then removes his hands, which makes you somewhat disappointed, but he proceeds to pull your shirt over your head. He looks at you unapologetically and is unable to help raising his pointer finger to his lip as he gandered at you. You were so beautiful, so perfect for him. Just for him.

His face was dusted a light pink, evident that he was aroused. Though, the continuously growing and grinding of his boner made that much more obvious. L continues to care for your tits, leaning in to suck on your right nipple as he played with your left with his finger. The reactions you gave him was enough to make him go absolutely mad.

You gasp and moan, a bit embarrassed by his fixation on your chest, though it wasn't exactly a bother. It felt very good, as you were quite sensitive there.

You tug at the back of L's shirt, attempting to pull it over his head. He removes his latch on your breasts and allows you to take it off. He shuddered a bit at the cold air against his bare skin, but when you press your own nude torso against his, he feels a sense of warmth and comfort.

The kisses continue, and you begin rocking your pussy on L's groin, causing a grunt to exhale from his mouth. Your crotch moves directly up his shaft from what you can tell through the fabric, and L's hold on you tightens. You lower your head to kiss the nape of his neck, teasing up to the most sensitive spot that you're aware of.

"Ah..Y/N...."

"Mmm," you hum against the kiss on his neck as you simultaneously tease his bulge.

"Y/N..it hurts.."

You look up, scared that you did something wrong.

"What does?"

"My..my penis. It aches, I want it out." L sounds entirely desperate at this point, as his words are becoming jumbled. It made you so horny that you were allowed the privilege of observing him in this manner.

You raise yourself from his lap, which draws out a whine from L, that indicates his need for you. You lower yourself down on your knees in front of him. You realize that the chair he is in is too tall for you to do anything, so you crank the setting so that the chair lowers. When it does you unbutton L's pants and drag them off of him. All that remained was his underwear, that had a wet spot forming along the tip of his cock. It looked so tight around his boxers that you were sure it was somehow painful.

Wrapping your fingers around the hem of his underwear, you pull them down and watch as his cock springs out. It was a little funny, but you held back the laugh in case it made him insecure. You take his pretty cock in your hands and begin stroking it.

"Aah..love.."

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes..but, please, I...I need you."

"Hm?"

"I know what you want to do to me but...I need you. To be inside of you. If you do that, I'll cum too fast and won't be able to penetrate you later."

"I thought I'd help you out with my mouth."

"I know, darling, but I can't wait."

You smile, flattered by his desire for you. You supposed a blowjob would have to wait for another time. Standing up, you leaned closer to kiss him again, and he practically pulled you into his embrace. While he cups your face with one hand, he finds his way to the button of your shorts with only his one hand. He was skilled like that. L pulls your shorts down your legs and is taken aback by how wet you were. He couldn't bare to not touch you.

His diligent fingers grazed your pussy, teasing it in a back-and-forth manner, causing you to whimper. He circled two fingers around your clit lightly, drawing the most pretty sounds from you. His cock was leaking from how seductive you were. Arching your back for him, pushing your pussy into his touch to encourage him to be rougher. He then stands up to place you on top of his desk, and he knelt before you.

L passionately places kisses along your inner thighs and proceeds to the outer labia of your pussy, neglecting your starving clitoris.

"L...please.."

"What's that, love?"

"Please..my.."

"Your what?"

URG. He was such a tease, and he most certainly did it on purpose.

"Please, my clit," you whine desperately.

"Of course, love. Who am I to deny you of that?"

Then, just as you had wanted, L wraps his tongue and lips around your clitoris and sucks it with eagerness. He was so perfect at what he did. L knew all of your sensitive spots, and how to touch you in such a way that makes you absolutely crazy. Your clit continues to be pulled by L's skilled lips, and he proceeds to flick his tongue up and down it.

"AaAH!"

"That's it baby, make all the sounds you need to."

L attacks your clit with his mouth some more, and his gentle demeanor dissolves as he doesn't hesitate to bring you to complete ecstasy. He was determined to make you cum all over his face. His sucks and licks become aggressive, almost overwhelmingly pleasurable. You weren't going to last much longer.

"L-I'm.."

"I know, love. You can do it for me, I know you can."

"MMfmH! Aaa~" and in a matter of 3 seconds, you clit spasms and slick fluid gushes out of your pussy, drenching L's face in your cum. Both of your breaths are heavy, and L briefly observes your pussy twitching. He reaches over to his pants and wipes your arousal off of his face.

L hovers above you, looking you in the eyes, to which you avert your gaze. It isn't that you didn't love looking at him, you were just bad with eye contact. He gently tilts your face to look at him, not so much as to force you to look at him, but because he wanted to see your facial expressions.

"I want you, Y/N..I want to fuck you so bad."

"You can. I want you to.."

He kisses the side of your neck and grabs your thighs to lift your legs, giving him full access to your pussy. He lines himself up to your entrance and sinks himself inside. The both of you are immediately struck with pleasure at the contact.

L thrusts at a moderate pace, making sure he figures out the perfect angle to hit your g-spot. It doesn't take him long at all, as you are moaning in complete pleasure, causing him to become entirely engrossed in arousal. L can't help but to quicken his pace, fucking you passionately as he kisses you. He watches your face intently, discerning what makes you quiver the most, but also just for his own personal amusement.

Seeing you like this. Completely cocksick for him and needy. Your warm, wet, soft, and tight walls drive him beyond enjoyment. Your face as he thrusts in you perfectly, the way you furrow your eyebrows and part your lips is so alluring and beautiful. It makes him addicted to you.

"I love you.." L mumbles.

You grip your arms around his shoulders and allow him to thrust deeper. "I love you too."

L holds you tight, fucking you carnally. Right now, he needs to cum inside of you, to claim you as his own lover. No one else but him can feel how gooey you are and see how vulnerable you become from his attention.

Your tight walls clench and he knows that he's not going to last much longer. He can feel the initiation of an orgasm coming, and he buries his face into your neck.

"Y/N...I'm going to cum.."

"Cum in me.."

You didn't have to tell him twice. With a few more fast thrusts, L finishes by bucking inside of you and cumming deep in you. Surely his seed was entering your womb. It's a good thing you're on birth control.

"Awh..darling, you're.."L's breath is heavy, "you're perfect. I love you so much."

"I love you..I love you more than I could ever tell you."

"Is that so?" L teases.

"Yes," you giggle.

"Hm..well, perhaps we should clean up. I'm sure Watari isn't going to want to take care of all of this."

"Yea, haha. You're right."

L kisses your forehead tenderly, and you both get dressed and clean up the mess you two made.

Lucky for L, he got just what he wanted.

#l lawliet smut #l lawliet #l lawliet x reader

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lipshits-continuous · 1 year ago

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Okay this is going to be a bit more venty than usual but I've seen a post about complex numbers that's annoyed me.

The only reason you are less willing to accept the existence of imaginary numbers is you aren't taught it in a way that helps build intuition nor from as young an age.

Complex numbers have been around for centuries. They aren't some new fangled thing that are mysterious to mathematicians. Part of the non-mathematician's conception of imaginary numbers certainly isn't helped by their name but I have to say I think the internet and clickbait are a lot to blame for that too.

A lot of mathematics is invented by thinking "what if..." and rolling with it to see if you can draw anything meaningful from it. "What if numbers less than 0 exist?", well then you have given meaning to something like 2-7. "What if we could divide any two integers?", now you can talk about what 3/7 means. Asking "what if square roots of negative numbers did exist?" let's us explore whether √(-1) would give us something with consistent and useful properties and it turns out it does (technically we just declare i²=-1 and i=-√(-1) does everything just as well).

"You can't take the square root of a negative number" is drilled into pupils heads at school when really the message should be a more subtle "there aren't any real numbers that are the square root of a negative number". It's a subtle but important difference. It's exactly like saying "there aren't any natural numbers x such that for naturals numbers y and z with z>y we have x=y-z". You'd be pretty hard pressed to find anyone saying that the latter is impossible.

I don't really know how to end this. I'm just frustrated

#vent #maths posting #lipshits posts #mathblr #mathematics #maths

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positivelyprime · 1 year ago

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Eisenstein primes (and integers)

You've heard of integer primes, but have you heard of different kind of primes? One of the most beautiful pictures in mathematics I've recently seen is this:

This is a picture displaying the Eisenstein primes and the rest of the post will be me explaining where this comes from.

Firstly, to understand what Eisenstein primes are, we need to know what Eisenstein integers are! An Eisenstein integer is a complex number of the form z = a + b w where a,b are integers and w = e^(2/3 pi i). Normally a small letter omega is used instead of w. Notice that w is a third root of unity, i.e. w³ = 1.

Appending this complex w to the regular integers has some consequences. In particular, we can now view the eligible numbers on the complex plane to get this picture:

The Eisenstein integers correspond exactly to places where two dotted lines cross. As such, where normally one can view integers as laying on a 1-d line, we can now view Eisenstein integers as laying on a 2-d lattice!

Now one may start to wonder if, just like in the integers, one can have Eisenstein integers which are not divisible by other Eisenstein integers. In more mathematics: We call a number p an Eisenstein prime if p cannot be written as a*b where a,b are Eisenstein numbers which are not +-1, +-w, +-w² (the units in this system).

It turns out that some regular primes are still primes in the Eisenstein integers. For example, 2 can still not be decomposed. However, 3 can! We may write 3 = -(1+2w)(1+2w) which means that 3 is not an Eisenstein prime. One may investigate this further (using abstract algebra) to arrive at the picture at the top of this post. The 6-fold rotational symmetry is due to the Eisenstein integers having 6 units.

Of course a natural question is why take a third root of unity and not an nth root? This is a very interesting question and leads to the study of (integer rings of) cyclotomic fields! This concludes fun math fact tuesday

#math #mathblr #mathematics #prime numbers #primes #integers #maths #fun math fact tuesday

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chongoblog · 9 months ago

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Hey you’re a math guy right? And you like Balatro right? I’ve had this math question related to Balatro but I can’t phrase it properly to get a satisfactory answer from google so I was wondering if you or a follower could help? Anyway here goes:

In Balatro there is a deck called the Plasma Deck which “balances” your chips and your mult so that they are equal in order to increase your score. I understand that mathematically given two positive numbers x and y when multiplied together will have an increasing total as x and y approach each other given their sum is constant. What I REALLY want to know is that if for any given sum of x and y where each integer permutation with the same sum is equally likely, what is the expected increase in score from balancing and is it thus worth it to double score requirements?

Tl;dr for any given total T where x and y are positive integers and sum to T and where each permutation of x and y are equally likely, what is the expected increase in value from x times y to (T/2)^2

So I am familiar with the Plasma Deck. Despite note having unlocked it yet it's definitely the one I'm most excited to unlock for this exact reason.

That said, let's talk about the question at hand. I can fix a more sophisticated explanation for this at another point in time, but here's my answer for now. If you're expecting an equal distribution of possible positive integers x and y, then no, the expected increase in score isn't double. For example, let's say T is 20 and p is the product of these values.

As you can see, out of all of these outcomes, only two of them are less than half of (T/2)^2 (which is 100 in this case). Which, if we were expecting an equal distribution of possible x and y values, would make the idea of doubling the score requirement seem incredibly unbalanced. However, that's where the strategy comes in. If you can make a build where you x and y values are 1 and 19, then the Plasma Deck more than quintuples your value, making the doubling of the score requirement seem like a breeze. So the strategy of Plasma Deck is basically to hard focus either x (chips) or y (mult)

Maybe if I have time I'll see if there's some sort of equation discussing this (there almost certainly is) but until then I am tired

#balatro #oh god balatro is making me talk math stuff this game is awesome #also you can try this x/y/p experiment with more possible T values to see just how busted the deck can be #i hope this makes any sense its late

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datapacks · 26 days ago

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i think another huge factor in the evolution of mincraft over time is that minecraft was kinda one of the first big-name games that "updated" over time? & during its lifespan, "live-service" games have become more of a thing; historically, updates were more, yknow, update focused. Not just "new content" for new content sake, but also rounding things out a lot more, filling out the game rather than just adding new ingredient after new ingredient after new ingredient after new ingredient ad infinitum. Which isn't to say Mojang is stuck in this- 1.20.5 was IMO the biggest update Since 1.13's Flattening, basically accomplishing the same thing with Item NBT -> Item Components. Rather, a lot of the time I think Mojang gets stuck in this expectation that they need to release eye-catching tiktok-marketable New ! New ! New ! features rather than really getting in deep with the inner workings of the game itself; this is why everyone remembers "new ocean biomes!" for 1.13, but most folks don't even know what The Flattening is. It's hard to make a less-than-5-minute youtube video showcasing "hey yeah we completely overhauled the internal handling systems for ID slots from integer to string values in such a way that we now have a namespacing system that allows for new content to be added Forever rather than having to worry about reaching the integer limit". Minecraft changed how games "as a service" happened, and then was changed By the concept of games "as a service" in turn. Hopefully they manage to actually pull it back eventually, & I think the new "drops" system is a really good way to do that, especially if they keep major technical overhauls limited to proper Updates.

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chososdiscordkitten · 11 months ago

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Obsessive!Choso♡pt 8

pt 7 here

content: STALKING.. (duhh), Choso feels immense guilt, TRACKING, lying, implied possible drugging, thoughts of violence, threats, drinking, Choso is a poor college student:( they/them pronouns used (a.n) I cry thinking about him. I really do, he's everything to me. He's like Dwayne the rock Johnson to me. Wrote this listening to 'For The First Time- Mac Demarco'

Taglist: @eristi @sunaumei @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @alexinity @mahgyu @mochipip @annhhaannn @ziklope @eterniatribe @everi-eve

Obsessive!Choso who somehow found himself lying on the floor, looking up to the ceiling with you next to him. Something about how when you're lower to the ground it's warmer- he didn't really remember the ‘why’ right now. Just knowing that anytime he'd say something, you'd laugh. No matter how dumb it was. The palms of his hands facing upwards. Being able to feel the warmth radiating from you, showing him just how close you really were, “I don't wanna go back to classes-” you exhaled, holding your hands atop your sternum. “Me neither-” he mumbled, closing his eyes and hearing you speak, “I hate this place- I hate the people.” you complained, hearing him hum a tired response. “Everyone here sucks and it's so frustrating.” your words made Choso turn his head to look at the side of yours. ‘Everyone except me, right?’ Admiring your profile, feeling his eyes scanning your features. You turned your head slightly, “Can I say something?” you tried to suppress a smile. Hearing him hum, looking at your avoidant pupils. “Say anything-” he smiled, making you turn your head back to face the ceiling with a scoff. “It's soo corny and cringey.” you laughed, feeling his gaze stuck to you. Mumbling a quiet “Don't care.” before you started speaking, “I think I met you for a reason-” you whispered, a smile creeping onto your face. Seeing him try to shake off the grin that was forming on his face at your words. “I've never felt more seen by someone before.” You smiled, cringing at the words falling from your lips without permission. ‘I will always see you. All of you.’ Shaking your head before speaking again, ”Do you like me?” You flinched realizing what you had just said. “As a- As a person?” You asked, turning your head and looking over at him, ‘Yes. As a person, as a friend, as everything.’

“What do you mean?” he hummed, looking into your eyes. “Am I shallow?” You asked, trying to make him forget of the past question that came out of you with no warning, seeing him furrow his eyebrows. Thinking of what to say, that's an appropriate answer, “From what I've seen- and what I've heard you talk about-” he mumbled, the saucers in your eyes making it very difficult to focus on what he was trying to say. Flipping to lay on his stomach, propping himself on his forearms as he looked down to your face. Smiling as he scanned your features, dim lighting making his cheeks tingle at how this was actually happening. Not a dream, or a scenario he pictured before bed. You were really here, not being able to process what he was doing. He lifted his hand, taking his pinkie and brushing a tuft of your hair from your forehead,“You are the last person I'd describe as shallow.” His contact with your skin made your cheeks tingle and your lips part. For the first time, he called you by your name out loud. You didn't notice that till he mumbled it, “-I think I met you for a reason too.” he murmured. Blinking your eyes as though you were expecting something from him, ruddy cheeks on his face making his thoughts leave him entirely. Mentally nodding his head no, looking away from you to the clock on the wall. 3:35 am. Backing away when he noticed he could count every eyelash on your face, “S’late.” he sighed, making you look up to the ceiling in disappointment with a sigh. Choso sat up, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. Exhaling as though this was the most frustrating thing in the world. “You wanna leave?” You spat, tone stern as you remembered every opportunity you've given him to make a move. “I don't wanna leave you-” He started, looking down to see you still looking at the ceiling. “My roommates flight lands in a few hours-” You mumbled, knowing if you looked at him you'd say something that you'd regret. Choso didn't know why he felt the need to apologize to you in that moment, whether it be the look on your face or how your hands were now picking at the skin on your fingers. But he tried to find something to say. Something to make you feel better but all the smooth lines he'd think, all the compliments he'd give you mentally, all of that- was somehow gone from his mind.

Gathering his things and slipping his boots back onto his feet, seeing your arms crossed and a sour look on your face as you waited for him to leave. It wasn't because he didn't reciprocate- it was because you felt like you were just embarrassing yourself. Reading too closely between the lines at what he'd say or his actions. Grabbing his coat from the hook and looking to you with sad eyes. “I’m sor-” he started, not knowing why he was apologizing, but it felt like the right thing to do. Making you realize your face gave away what you were feeling. Playfully shoving his shoulder and smiling. “Don't.” you whispered, seeing him become less tense. “I'll text you.” he smiled, hand on the doorknob as he looked at you. Same look in your eyes you had when he pulled away earlier. Looking down to your socks, sniffling before looking back up to him with a forced smile. Mumbling a quiet “Okay.” before he opened the door. Taking the nob in your hand and seeing him stand on the rickety porch. “Bye-” he smiled, seeing a look on your face he had never seen before. Almost sorrowful. Small smile forced on your lips as you waved at him from the door frame, seeing him walk away. Closing the door and sighing against it as you pressed your back to it. Closing your eyes in exasperation. Wondering why he wouldn't make a move, all the signs were there. So why?

Obsessive!Choso walked home in the freezing weather as though it was his punishment. Even if he didn’t know what he did wrong, the fact that you made that face at something he did. It made him want to stand in the middle of the street. On that night he took a vow to never, ever make you feel that way again. In his mind, he was only being a gentleman, a well mannered friend. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable. If only you knew how badly he wanted to reciprocate what he thought you were throwing to him. Heavy in thought as he pulled out his phone, opening the app he had downloaded just last night. Seeing a small red dot on the map from where he left you. Smiling when he thought of how he'd know where you are as long as you wore his present. As long as you wore a piece of him with you, he would be able to know where you are. And make sure you weren't getting into any unnecessary problems.

Coming home, tossing his keys to the counter, opening the refrigerator and seeing nothing. Nothing to cook, not even frozen food or instant noodles. And certainly, no more money to eat for the next few days. Knowing that the firsts of the month were always the hardest, the subsidized apartment was still a heavy burden on his already thin wallet. Most nights not being able to sleep from how cold it was. But he found solace in picturing you, warm in your bed. Being able to sleep in a t-shirt and shorts from how high the heat was. If he closed his eyes and remembered, he could still feel the warmth tickle his nose from how warm your bedroom was. Creaky bed frame that threatened to break anytime he moved too swiftly on it, sleeping in at least two hoodies and two pairs of socks. Wrapped in as many blankets he could find so he could try to sleep. But his attempts were in vain, he couldn't stop remembering the look on your face. The look of disappointment and the patience you kept fading anytime he pulled away. Tossing the heavy bundle of blankets from him, sitting up slowly so the legs of his bed frame wouldn't give. Standing up and walking to the coat that hung behind the door. Pulling his wallet out, barely being able to see through squinty eyes, the moon casting a dim light through the broken blinds he can't afford to fix. Taking the stolen polaroids of you from the card sleeve. Smiling as he adored every single one, walking back to his cold bed and wrapping himself in the blankets. Placing 4 out of the 5 photos of you on his nightstand. Holding his favorite one in his hand scanning it the best he could in the dark. Thoughts of how he might just be delusional. Thinking you were just being nice to him, just being a good friend. ‘Maybe you are just naturally alluring. And maybe I am just a mad man in love with someone who only sees me as no more than a friend.’

Obsessive!Choso who woke up to the sun assaulting his sleeping eyelids, polaroid still in hand as he turned to lay on his back. Eying the small photo as he blinked his sleep away. Grazing his fingers across the glossy finish, furrowing his eyebrows as he recalled the look you gave him before he left. Placing the photo on the pillow next to him, checking his phone for the time. Always hoping to see a message from you, but knowing it was a little early in the morning for you. Especially since it was Saturday, knowing you liked to sleep in as long as you could. But he would wait around his cold apartment, waiting for you to call him or message him. Rereading the countless notes you had exchanged in class, feeling uneasy. Almost guilty for making you feel the way he did. Even if he didn’t know how you felt- he knew there was something wrong. Your aura, the coldness you showed him before he left. It was clear he did something to make you upset.

He felt as though he was going crazy in that little apartment, white walls making him feel like he was trapped in a seclusion room. Sitting at his desk and doodling in a notebook he kept on his bedside table. Trying his best to draw you from memory, smiling when he saw the page filled with small sketches of your features. Standing from his chair and falling to his knees at his closet, feeling like he had just lost the one good thing in his life. Sliding open the door and seeing the collection of you he had. Tears pricked his eyes in guilt when he thought of you. Seeing all the discarded things you had left for him, taking the small bottle of nail polish and grazing his fingers on the handle. The same handle your fingers were on when you were being nice to him. Feeling anger towards himself at the thought that he had hurt you in some way, he stood up. Stomping back to his desk and checking the time, seeing it was only 3pm. Frustrated fingers swiping across his screen and pressing the call button. Eyes closed as he heard the dreadful ringing, fiddling with his earrings with his other hand. Opening his eyes and beaming when he heard the loud sound of a washing machine moving. “Hello?” you asked, your tone still stern. What Choso didn't know is that you didn't know he was calling, you just heard the ringing and pressed the answer button quickly. “Hey-” he started, grimacing at how he didn’t know what to say, “I just-” he mumbled, hearing someone shouting in the distance through the phone. “I just wanted to talk to you.” He smiled, hearing you let out a small laugh when you realized who it was. Grin on your face as you walked away from the obnoxious machines. “Miss me already huh?” you teased, hearing him let out a stifled laugh. “I was worried.” he confessed, closing his eyes and imagining you sitting on the same couch he sat on last night. “Worried? Whatever for?” you asked, sighing as you took a seat on the arm of the couch. “I was worried I upset you- before I left.” he confessed, sitting on the edge of his bed. Hunched over as he heard you take a sharp inhale through the phone. “You worry a lot don't you?” you asked playfully, trying to remember why you were bothered so much by his actions. “I try not to-” he laughed, “But I-” he started, trying not to tell you the exact words that popped into his head that very moment. “I somehow always find a way to fuck it up.” he exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment. “I don't remember why I was upset.” You sighed, “I was probably just tired and dreading my roommate coming home.” you explained, trying your best to hide what you truly felt. “And? How has it been since?” he asked, being able to hear the loud sound of a vacuum. “She practically came home just to clean.” You laughed, looking to see your roommate violently cacumming. Gaining a laugh from him, “You have any plans for tonight?” he asked, the first time he ever asked you if you wanted to do something. The question made your heart swell, but remembering that you actually did have plans made it deflate equally as fast.

“I wish I didn't. But my roomie is big on socialization and wants to go to a bar tonight with some of her friends.” You exhaled, “And you're going?” he asked, his chest pounding at the thought that you'd be drinking around people who can take advantage of you. “Unfortunately I am- apparently one of her friends wants to meet me for some reason.” you frowned, Choso was able to hear the disappointment in your words. Praying to whatever god that was out there, that you weren't lying to him. The thoughts of how maybe you didn't like him at all were heavy at that moment. “But I don’t even know if I'm going- so I'll let you know, okay?” you asked, making sure to not discourage him from asking you that again. “Okay-” he was interrupted hearing your roommate shout your name, “I'll talk to you later?” you assured him before hanging up. Leaving him on his rickety bed waiting for you to call.

Time passed agonizingly slow, laying in his bed face up. Every now and then checking his phone for the time. Seeing only an hour had passed, he exhaled loudly, frustration eating away at him. Sitting up and picking up the small notebook and his pen. Writing a letter to you, detailing his feelings and how much he loved you. How he’d wait for you, no matter if the day comes where you move on. Married and a few kids with someone but him. ‘Even if i have not seen you in years, and I know you are with someone else. And I have been forced to move on from you. Even if I am 80 years old with grandchildren. I will only think of you. It will only ever be you. Please think of me too. Even if you are with someone else. Only think of me.’ he wrote, pushing his hair from his face as he felt the heartbreak only felt by abandoned spouses. The mere thought of you being happy with someone but him made him feel cheated. Tossing the notebook to the foot of the bed, laying on his pillows and sighing. Blinking his eyes closed as he felt the fatigue eat at him. Waking up four hours later to a missed call from you. Immediately pressing your contact and calling you, only you didn't answer. Checking the tracking app and seeing you weren't home anymore. His heart started beating faster at the thought you were probably in danger and called him, or you wanted to see him but like an idiot; he fell asleep. Getting dressed quickly and leaving his apartment almost too quickly, following the directions in his phone as he walked through the cold winds to find you. He wanted to run to you, wanted to drudge through the coldness to reach you. Almost blacking out from the cold against him. But he found himself standing outside the frosted windows as he watched you, cold weather made the tip of his nose pink. Smiling and drinking with your ‘friends’ in the corner of the room, warm lighting making you stand out even more than you usually did.

Everytime he sees you, it's like the first time. Feeling the same hint of warmth in his heart he felt the first day of class. But he knew the smile you gave them was a forced one, knowing you didn't belong with those kinds of people. How different you were from them. The app told him you were there for an hour or so, seeing the people around you talking and joking. But anytime they'd say something you looked away, not finding interest in their words. Watching you fiddle with the bracelet on your hand as a waitress brought a tray of shots for your group. Seeing you nod your head ‘no’ at your roommate, being able to know it was her cause the other 3 people were men. Waving your hands ‘no’ as your friend shoved the glass in your hands from across the small table. The man next you, leaning down to say something into your ear, feeling anger pool in his stomach at how close he was to you. Especially since whatever he told you, convinced you to take the shot with them. Nodding his head in disappointment at how easily you were convinced. But the sight of you smiling without a care in the world was nice to see, even if it was forced.

Obsessive!Choso who furrowed his eyebrows when he saw your shoulders jump, smile now gone as you looked over at the older man next to you. Almost shuffling away from him. Choso couldn't see clearly from all the people in the bar, but he was sure that he had touched you. You made the same face you did when he saved you from the classmate who was too insistent. ‘What is it with you and men who are way too old for you?’ he complained mentally. It took everything in him to not burst through the door of the place, but those thoughts were soon gone. Seeing you pull your phone out, slowly shifting away from the man's touch. Hearing his phone ring in his coat pocket, pulling it out and seeing you walk away from the table. Clicking the green button and saying a quiet hello. Not being able to see where you went from where he was standing outside, “Heyy-” already being able to hear the smile in your voice. “Are you- are you busy?” you asked, voice slightly slurred, showing him that they were funneling liquor down your throat long before he got there. “No. Not at all.” he smiled, knowing that even if you were a little tipsy, you still thought of him. “Thank god-” You giggled, making Choso close his eyes at the warmth your laugh gave him. “I’m at the bar right next to the chinese restaurant in town-” you smiled, cheeks already warm at how quickly he answered your call. “And I'm sooo bored.” you finished, hearing him let out a quiet laugh, “You wanna come join me?” you asked, leaning against the bathroom door, silence in the air as you waited for his response. “Are you sure that would be okay? I know you went with your friends.” He replied, knowing that if he had just said ‘yes’ he'd sound too eager. “These people aren't my friends-” you laugh, “Come on-” you smiled, Choso pressed the phone closer to his ear. “I miss you-” you tried to convince him. This made Choso’s heart swell, your words making his cheeks flush. “I'll be there soon.” he grinned, making you let out a lush laugh. “Okay- I'll be waiting.” You smiled, hanging up the phone and walking back to the table. Seeing your friend give you a questioning stare, only to shrug at her.

Choso waited all but five minutes before he walked in, taking his coat off at the door and stared at you. Looking down at your phone as he waited for you to look up. Almost as though you felt his gaze on you, you looked up. Ring of light around you as you saw him. Hair pulled back, eyebrows pinched together while he looked at you. Seeing you push through your roommates friends, gaining furrowed stares and questioning looks as you walked to him. “You got here so fast-” you smiled, standing in front of him. “You sounded very distressed.” he joked, noticing the flush on your cheeks from how much you had to drink. He looked behind you, seeing the table you were sitting at looking at you. You took the hint and looked back to them, “Come say hi-” you grinned, taking his hand into yours, feeling his cold rings against your warm hand. Sighing as you stood in front of the four people you had left, “Guys-” you started, seeing your roommate eye Choso with a confused look on her face, “This is my-” you started, looking over to him trying to find the words, “My uh-” seeing your roommates friends look at Choso like he did something wrong. This made Choso deeply uncomfortable, not knowing why they were looking at him the way they were. Hands still together as you felt your cheeks warm, “This is Choso-” you laughed, seeing them give a forced ‘hi’ to him. Sensing the tension, you let go of his hand. “We're gonna go get him a drink.” you grinned, your roommate murmuring a quiet ‘Wait’ as you left the table. Walking to the bar and leaning on the counter. Choso made note of how your roommate looked over at the man with a buzzcut that previously stood next to you. Seeing her mouth an ‘I’m sorry-’ before he looked back at you. Looking to him with a lush look on your cheeks, smiling as you scanned his face. “What's your drink?” You grinned, elbow on the wooden ledge, the sight of you reminded Choso why he does the things he does for you. Glowy cheeks, sweet smile on your lips. Effortless and yet so bewitching. Looking at him through your eyelashes making his blush spread from his cheeks to his ears. “Whatever you're drinking.” he hummed, thinking that your face is the face people would go to war for. Taking a seat on one of the stools, making Choso pull one out and join you. This made your roommate look at the guy she invited for the sole purpose of setting him up with you. Apologizing intensely, knowing he saw how much happier you looked speaking to Choso.

Obsessive!Choso who took a sip of his beer, snake bites clinking against the glass. Your eyes unapologetically staring at him, smiling and setting the glass down onto the bar. “What?” he asked with a smile on his face as you looked at him with half lidded eyes. “Mm, Nothin.” pupils so dilated that he could see them even in the dim lighting, smiling so hard your cheeks could start hurting at any minute. Taking a sip from your glass, feeling the group behind you stare holes into your skull. “In the three weeks of solitude- I forgot just how boring people really are.” you smiled, looking at Choso’s face and noticing how handsome he looked in this light. “I didn't realize it until I met her friends.” You finished, looking down to your hands. Your words made him lean his chin in his hand, looking to you with a confused look. “And?” he asked, hoping you could explain a little more. Letting out a small laugh and covering your face with your hands, pulling them away and looking into his eyes. Leaning in closer to him and whispering, “Out of all the people in here- you're the only one who I find interesting.” Seeing his eyes widen slightly at your words, “I think you're very interesting too.” he smiled, seeing you look away from him and fiddle with the sleeves of your shirt. “How did you get here so fast again?” You asked, changing the topic, recalling that it took very little time for him to walk through the door. His heart pounding at your question, scrambling through dozens of excuses. “I was- I was about to pick up dinner- from the restaurant next door.” Mentally grimacing when he noticed he stuttered. Hoping the state you were in dismissed it, seeing you nod your head and mumble a quiet ‘Oh’ as you looked away from him. “I know I just got here-” he started, eyes flickering back to the prying eyes, “But do you want to go for a walk?” he hummed. Seeing you look behind you to see that they were still staring. “Lemme go get my coat.” You smiled, leaving Choso on the barstool. Following the top of your head as you disappeared through the crowd, seeing you walk to the bathroom. Pulling out his phone as he waited for you.

Obsessive!Choso jumped when he heard someone call him ‘buddy’ looking up to see the tall man with a buzzcut who was standing next to you. Furrowing his eyebrows and looking at him, “I didn't know they were taken.” he smiled, tone full of passive aggressiveness. Choso only looked at him, not knowing what to say. “I don't-” he started, “I was working on takin em home.” the tall man hummed. “Alex all but promised them to me,” he continued. This made Choso want to bash his skull into the pavement. He was silent, hearing this man brag on and on about how close you were to falling. “And- if all else failed-” he whispered, leaning down and pulling a small baggie from his pocket. “I can count on you right? I'll share em with you if you help out.” He grinned, this made Choso’s vision blur. But the sight of you at the table talking to your roommate soothed the anger that flooded his mind. He laughed through his nose, standing from the barstool, coat in hand. “Go near them again- and I'll kill you.” sickeningly sweet smile on his lips, taking a step away from him. Choso felt the man's hand on his arm, “Hey man-” he smiled, thinking Choso was joking. He looked into his eyes, nothing but violence in his stare as he shook his hand off him. “Touch me again and I'll split you open to see what washed up jocks are made of.” He smiled, seeing the tall man's grin fall, “Excuse me.” he hissed, pushing past him and walking to you. Seeing your eyebrows furrowed as you spoke to your roommate. Standing next to you and hearing you sigh in relief, “Wanna get goin?” Choso asked, seeing you pick up your coat. “Mhm. There's nothing left here for me.” You seethed, stepping away from the table and hearing your roommate ask you to wait. “So where are we going?” you asked, putting your coat on and looking over to Choso as you made your way to the door. “To the moon.” he smiled, seeing you zip up the zipper from your coat. You laughed at his words, blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited you if Choso didn't come save you from that man's grubby hands. Standing in front of the exit before putting his coat on, opening the door for you to step through before taking one last look at the horrible people you surround yourself with. Walking on the sidewalk, side by side. Hands almost brushing against each other as he guided you.

“Have you ever walked across the campus lawn late at night?” he asked, looking over to your bundled up self. “I can't say that I have- no.” you smiled, seeing him step towards the cold blades of grass, campus lights off since it was still winter break. “Since we're so far away from any major cities-” he sighed, standing in the middle of the large lawn. “The stars shine even brighter here.” He smiled, looking over at you. Turning your head upwards with furrowed eyebrows before opening your mouth with a gasp. “I can see them so clearly-” you smiled, Choso looked over at you and felt like he saw the future. No matter how cold it was; the warmth of seeing you smile was more than enough to keep him standing. Looking back to him with disbelief in your eyes, “How did you find out-” you murmured, not being able to fathom how he could have ever noticed. “On nights where I can't sleep- I come out here and try to count as many stars as I can.” He hummed, seeing you grin. “Isn't it too cold?” you asked, seeing the tip of his nose slightly pink. “Can't be colder than my apartment.” he joked, making you laugh. One of his favorite things about you was how you'd laugh at his words. No matter if they were serious or not, it gave him hope that you wouldn't notice he didn't have much to give to you. Hoping you wouldn't look too closely and see the holes in his shirts, or how the bottom of his boots were slightly starting to tear apart. Knowing he didn't have much to impress you with, but held the thought that maybe- just maybe his words would be enough for you.

You looked into his eyes, “I wish I could spend 5 minutes in your mind.” you mumbled, the words coming from you were true. The moon lights up your face, making a certain sparkle in your eye shine. You wanted to take a peek and see if he felt even a hint of what you felt blossoming inside your heart. Hoping that he'd let you in through a cracked door just to know if your efforts were in vain. ‘If only you knew you've been in my mind since the day I first saw you.’

Pt 9 here

I hate slow burns but this is a slowly becoming one. I enjoy making myself mad whilst writing. only fuels my hate for slow burns. whole time im like 'dude?!! kiss them???' knowing damn well I can write it but I refuse. as always thank u sm for reading, its getting there!! bear with me and my delusions of writing abt Choso being a gentleman!!!

edit: Choso is oldest of 10 brothers, no dad, no mom, only in college to get a decent job in the future to support his brothers. do the math

#jjk #choso kamo #choso my beloved #jjk choso #jjk x reader #choso x reader #choso x you #jujutsu kaisen choso #jujutsu kaisen #college au #emo choso #jjk sfw #non curse au

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