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spectrumed · 3 years ago

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4. body

Do I have body issues? Well... yeah. Who doesn’t? I absolutely do not like being fat, that’s something I’d change about me. And I probably should bulk up a little, go to the gym. My diet isn’t terrible, I don’t eat any fast food, but I could still always eat healthier. More greens, less beans. But most of all, my biggest body issue is that I don’t really associate myself with my body. My mind feels disconnected from my body. The day scientists invent a way for us all to live as brains in jars on wheels, I’m there standing in line for a chance to become all cerebral. Being physical, it’s just so messy, so awkward, so uncomfortable. You feel pain, you feel embarrassment, you feel horny. Nothing good comes from having a body. If you were just a brain, you could go on thinking and calculating and just generally having a good mental time. Or you’d start feeling suffocated and trapped trying to move your limbs and realising that they have been all chopped off. Hmm… Maybe it’s more complicated than I initially thought.

I don’t understand people who enjoy physical activities. Let it be clear before we delve into this long rant of mine complaining about all things gymnastic, this is not particularly an autistic trait. In fact, there are plenty of autistic people who may excel as athletes, their drive and obsessive personality traits becoming quite useful in developing that discipline that is required to fully commit to becoming an all-star jock. Not all autistic people are reprehensible nerds. Some autistic people are actually quite sexy. Some even have abs. But that’s not me. That’s not my clan of autistic people. I like drawing maps. I like thinking about things. I like making cocktails. The only part of my physical body that I like to put strain on is my liver. Don’t make me go on a run. There isn’t an armchair in this world that I wouldn’t want to sit down in, even the ones that used to be owned by old chain-smokers that have that awful aroma that sneaks into your nostrils and makes you worry about second-hand lung cancer. Sitting is great. I like sitting. Also lying down. Lying down is good.

Am I lazy? No, I don’t think so. Maybe a little, but here’s the thing. I can’t control the things I obsess over. There’s a great deal of overlap between autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit disorder. If you’re reading this and you’re a fellow friend on the spectrum, you may have gotten diagnosed with both. One of those rare times in my life I have attended group therapy, more than half the group were diagnosed with both. I, however, am not. But seeing as the two conditions are so intertwined, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a facet of autism involves difficulties in trying to focus on something, or even trying not to focus on something too hard. If you were to judge my tenacity, my ability to keep going, based solely on how I perform during physical tasks, you’d think I was the least resolute person on the planet. But then you’ll find me, some time later, staying up until four in the morning drawing another map. A map that’s really just a different take on another map that I drew earlier, that itself was a reworked version of a previous map that I drew but didn’t like, that actually began as a second iteration of one map I drew that was actually wholly different, that was based on a map of Europe but if Denmark never existed. How many maps have you drawn Fred? Why don’t you go mind your own business, you nosy ferret.

The DSM-5 (the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. You can think of it as something akin to a bible of psychology, which is definitely an inflammatory way to refer to it, but I’m gonna go with it! Because I’m a wildcard, and that’s just how I roll,) includes this section as part of its diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Now, I personally don’t relate to that at all. There’s nothing abnormal in my intense love for maps. The fact that maps aren’t as widely cherished as they ought to be is a fault of others, and I refuse to acknowledge that this may be a part of my character that could be perceived as quirky, or out of the ordinary. But, still, for the sake of argument, let’s presume that I can get, at times, excessively circumscribed. I’d like to say that I’ve only ever engaged in excessive circumscribing in my privacy away from onlookers, but I am afraid that I may have allowed some of my excessive circumscribing to happen in public. I definitely do apologise for that. I will try to do better in the future. But you never know when you’re about to experience some excessive circumscribing. The best you can do is keep it limited.

I don’t know how neurotypicals work. So, you don’t feel these kinds of obsessions? These moments of intense focus? These fixations? Then, you lack passion? Are you heartless? Soulless? Or are you just weak? Are you too feeble to hold steadfast working on a project all night long? To lose touch with your sense of hunger, your need for sleep, and all contact with any other human person? My fixations may come across as strange, but to me, your lack of fixations come across as bizarre. The world is endlessly fascinating. Have you never felt that compulsion to just fully immerse yourself in a topic that allows you to forget about your physical body for just that moment in time? The body cannot hold me. I wish to absorb as much information as I can. If I could astral project, by gods, I would astral project. To decouple your consciousness from your mushy brain for just that little bit, to go soaring across the landscapes, to explore the cosmos, just free of all things corporeal, that would be swell. How terrible isn’t it, when you’re deep in research, learning all about the mystical religious practices of the long-dead hierophants of the ancient world, to be drawn back into the present by the sudden need to urinate? There is something so dreadfully mundane about possessing a human body. If only we could all be celestial beings allowed to just be without the biological needs associated with having flesh and blood and bone and bladders.

I am not religious, nor am I spiritual. I do not believe that there is an immaterial world that lies above the material. I do not believe there is an astral plane. I think that one of the terrifying things about living is knowing that we do not possess such a thing as an eternal soul, that all things are temporal, and that ultimately, we have to come to terms with that. It’s not so terrible. In some ways, the temporal nature of life can be its biggest blessing. All things must pass. Sure, that does include the good times, like that vacation you spent as a child wishing that it would never end. But it also includes the bad times. The heartbreak you feel from a failed relationship. The grief you feel after the passing of a parent. The depression some of us are burdened with. Some days are worse than others. But they too will pass. One of the remarkable things about the human body is its ability to bounce back from injury. To change and evolve in ways we sometimes find unthinkable. The brain, likewise, is transformational, capable of incredible developments. We’re not fixed in stone. We’re not eternal. Which is a good thing. It is what allows recuperation and progress. I should be thankful to my body for being there, even when I’m not. After all, isn’t your body your temple?

I am able-bodied. Am I disabled? There’s naturally a lot of questions that surround how we ought to understand mental illness or neurodiversity in regards to disability. Does autism spectrum disorder count as a disability? Well, yes, it can be considered a learning disability. It is certainly something of a handicap, you are experiencing struggles that most people don’t experience. But to your average layperson, your typical dullard who spends their time watching reality TV, drinking beer, and being happy, what counts as a disability to them? Would they see me and think I was disabled? I’m not in a wheelchair. I don’t walk with a cane. Though I will occasionally “stim,” make small repetitive moments with my hands or legs, I do not exhibit any kind of physical symptoms. If I told them that I was disabled, they’d scoff and tell me that I’m just making it up for attention. They’d say I’m probably just trying to mooch off the government, scoring welfare checks while doing nothing to contribute to society. I’ve got all my limbs. I am not sickly. I am actually quite strong, due to being a big and tall man, I am able to carry quite the load. So, I have no reason to not be a fully productive member of society, right? And yet, here I am, feeling at most times utterly perplexed by anything physical. Probably because I am just lazy, right?

I don’t think laziness is a thing. What is laziness supposed to actually be? Tiredness? If a person is perpetually tired, then they’ve likely got a sleep disorder. To call them lazy would be callous. There are plenty of overworked people that get called lazy, especially by tyrannical overseers who think of their charges as mere workhorses whose only purpose in life is to toil away in the factory until the day they die. Intolerable parents who see their terminally sullen child and instead of wondering what is making them so upset decide to deride them for their lack of ambition. Are you lazy when you are procrastinating? No you are just being a tad irresponsible, maybe, deciding to skip out on chores in order to play video games or masturbate. But you’re not just doing nothing. People generally don’t enjoy doing nothing. We need something to occupy ourselves, to fill that vacuum we all feel whenever we’re just sitting still. I am someone who appears to be comfortable just sitting still, but that’s because I’ve learned, since a very young age, to entertain myself with my own thoughts. To fantasise, to daydream, to do anything I can to escape from the void that is doing absolutely nothing. Boredom, that’s terrible. Boredom is existential dread. Of all the motivations that drive humans, love, spite, jealousy, or pride, I think the need to evade boredom is one of the most prevalent. Humans would rather experience electric shocks than sit alone in a room being bored.

I am not lazy, I am merely… excessively circumscribed. For as much as this may be a specific diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder, I think it is also a common trait amongst all humans. There will always be within us a pull to do something other than the thing that we’re really supposed to be doing, that does not make us lazy, that just makes us terrified of boredom. Sure, you know that you’re supposed to mow the lawn, but that's just so dreadfully tedious, you just would rather be working on perfecting your new stand-up comedy routine. Thinking up jokes to tell on stage is so much more stimulating than cutting grass. And who cares if your lawn grows a little wild? Lawns are a scam, imposed by fascists to make us think grass in its natural state is ugly. All grass is beautiful, whether it is cut short or it is allowed to grow long. Do the thing that fulfils you. Allow yourself to become immersed in passion, to forget about those things that hold you back, the little silly things we’ve convinced ourselves is important. Stay up late, if you wish. You’re gonna kill it on open mic night, bud!

Yes, it is a problem when your obsessions grow so singular that you forget to feed yourself. When you forget personal hygiene, when you become trapped in your own apartment looking like some feral rodent caught in a cage. Like always, the key is moderation, and I know that from time to time, you may have to entertain a boring task or two. Clean your room, brush your teeth, trim your pubic hair, try to give an impression that you are taking care of yourself. If for anyone, do it for your mother. She will be happy seeing you looking like a civilised individual, wearing clean clothes and not looking malnourished. But don’t ever chastise yourself for being lazy. Laziness is a sin that we’re all guilty of, and if we’re all guilty of it, is it really a sin? Or is it just part of what it means to be a human? To be a messy creature made out of flesh and blood and bone and the occasional bladder. In the end, I’m more happy than displeased at having a body. It’d be much harder to type on a keyboard if I didn’t have fingers.

Still, I wish I wasn’t fat.

#neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

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broke-bitch-diaries-blog · 6 years ago

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Time to heal, I guess

I never thought I’d ever say this, but I finally took the step to get professional help for my mental health. I was thinking about doing so since early January, but, fearing being defined as crazy or weak by those close to me, I procrastinated and tried finding a reason not to book a psychologist appointment every single day. In all honesty, the main thing I was telling myself this whole time was “I’m fine. I’m over-reacting. Other people have it worse.”, despite knowing full well that my mental well-being was going downhill every day.

I grew up in a family, where seeking help for being depressed or anxious was seen as weak or unnecessary. When I was younger, I’d constantly hear the phrase “You’re just a child, you have nothing to stress about. You don’t know what stress is.”. As someone who was severely bullied during my middle school years and the first few years after a transfer to a more artistic and laid back school, I had intrusive thoughts of worthlessness and suicidal tendencies since a very young age. I mean, I hated my body since the age of seven, I self-harmed on multiple occasions between the ages of 12 and 16, I constantly thought of ending it all and felt useless and disgusting, seeing myself as nothing but a burden. And yet, I had to bottle it all up. Growing up, I would constantly hear how people who raise a hand against their own selves, people who turn to addiction or suicide are nothing but selfish, cowardly losers. So, I stayed quiet and never let my problems be the topic of conversation within my family circle.

Around the age of 15 or 16, after my mother saw my self-harm marks a couple of times and clearly showed her disappointment and anger at what I had done, I turned to emotional eating. Before that, even at the age of 13, I would skip meals from time to time or throw them up in the school bathroom whenever the guilt of a binge hit me. The stress of the abundance of exams that I was facing, both in high school and my after-class music school terrified me. I found comfort in food. And yet, after every binge, I felt so fucking guilty. This, tied with my low self-esteem and body-image issues, lead to me consciously avoiding my reflection, wearing copious amounts of makeup and being unable to even look at my own body in the shower. I spent so many nights hiding in the bathroom, quietly crying on the floor, not knowing how to reverse the damage that I had done. After the exams had passed and my parents noticed how the stress was treating me (throwing up before every exam, minor panic attacks, problems breathing and high blood pressure), my mum decided we should tell my paediatrician. So we did. She asked me if I wanted to go see a child psychologist. I got scared of being looked down on by my parents (also because back at home, to work in my field of study, you need to be completely mentally stable) and said no. She thought I still needed something to help me calm down and prescribed me over-the-counter sedatives.

At the age of 16, I was also admitted to a hospital for stomach problems caused by extreme over-eating. While there, my endocrinologist also decided that I needed to lose weight as I had hit 103 kilograms. The number scared me. I never thought I’d reach it. So, after a week of inpatient treatment and loads of testing, I was given a diet plan with restrictions of what I can’t even think about eating. I was committed to losing weight, so I followed it. In less than two months, I dropped down to 87 kilograms. I was ecstatic. The diet was working. But, as diets normally go, the weight wasn’t dropping as quickly anymore as my body was not shocked by the changes in diet. I didn’t know what else to do but restrict my calories even more. I got fixated on all of the numbers. I made my own diet plans, worked out, did anything I could to drop weight. I was getting complimented on how good I’m doing every time I’d say no to unhealthy foods and all that. It made me want to stop eating completely. And yet, one of my friends noticed something was off. I would bring food to school and only eat a small portion of it, giving away the rest to my friends, saying how I was full and such. Later on, my mum caught on as well. After that, I started eating normally again, which made me instantly gain back some of the weight. For the next 2 years, I kept going back and forth between not eating and over-eating (which often lead to purging). It wasn’t before I started university, that the obsession with numbers fully came back. Purposely not buying a scale, hoping it would help me stay healthy and not get fixated on my weight didn’t help. I got fixated on my caloric intake, making it lesser and lesser with each month. As soon as I started noticing how my clothes were getting looser and looser on me, I went back to the same mindset -” I need to eat way less. This is working.”. And, of course, with the stress of exams crushing me, giving me more anxiety than ever and making depression be my constant state of being, I started not eating again. I started going without food for multiple days, eating like a normal human being for a couple and then going back to not eating again. This is where I am now. I admit it. I am sick and I need help.

A few weeks ago, I booked an appointment with a psychologist after avoiding that for months on end. I knew that if I didn’t, I might do something stupid. I didn’t trust my own thoughts anymore as they were constantly telling me how worthless I am and forcing me to believe that everyone around me secretly hates me. Deep down, I know that that is not true, but, when your brain is sick, other pathways of thought are permanently closed. I’m not going to lie -I was scared of where these thoughts were getting me.

Yesterday, I went to my first appointment. It was definitely bad timing, as I’m leaving the UK to go home for the summer in a couple of weeks, which is not allowing the psychologist to sign me up for weekly verbal therapy. As soon as I got to the waiting room, I was bricking it. Every second I waited felt like hours. I wanted to leave so bad, but something inside me was telling me to stay. When I finally got called in, my hands started shaking. I was so scared to tell her about what was happening in my life as I’ve never talked to a stranger about these things. It just never felt right since my whole life I was taught that your problems should only be talked about at home, with your family. Ironic, isn’t it? My problems should only be shared with my family, who believe that mental illnesses are signs of weakness. I felt so relieved letting everything off of my chest and sharing it with someone, who I knew understood me from a professional perspective. Still, the whole time I was talking, I couldn’t stop picking at my fingers and nervously shaking my leg. But I did it. I told her everything that was going on with my feelings and eating habits over the last few months as well as sharing a little bit of my past. Before I knew it, I was leaving the health centre with a self-help book and a prescription of Sertraline (I had to do a little research to realise that this is the same thing as Zoloft, which I’ve heard more about). The doctor told me to expect side-effects, so did my friends. who had taken the same medication before.

For some reason, I was actually kind of excited when I walked up to the counter today and asked for my prescription. Maybe I unconsciously saw it as a glimpse of hope? I’m not sure. After taking my first dose, I can say, it’s not too pleasant. it took a few hours and I was already feeling nauseous and irritable. Hopefully, this doesn’t last too long. I’m coming home in ten days -I can’t show up looking and acting like a complete fucking mess. I have to be fine.

P.S.: I have told my family about the appointment and the medication. After all these years, they finally agreed that this is what I need. All it took was for them to see how the stress caused by uni was affecting me, thankfully. I just hope they can continue being okay with it and not see me as weak.

-D,

#university #depression #anxiety #eating disorder #getting help #therapy #medication #sertraline #zoloft #getting better #stress #uni problems

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islandpcosjourney · 3 years ago

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Day 27 (spring clean)

26th March 2022

Well, I did it. I managed to make the Greek chocolate cake without licking my fingers! Gosh, that was hard. Surely that’s one’s right when making a cake, to get to lick batter off your fingers or the spoon! It’s such a reflex to lick one’s fingers when cooking/baking but I had practice while working in the café last year, to get used to NOT doing that and thank goodness I did for it was good training for last night! The smell of the cake baking was wafting through the house, and it was incredible. I think however that it was a tad overbaked, judging by the look of it but I won’t find out quite yet! I was expecting it to be more like a devil’s food cake, based on the picture in the recipe.

The brunch I was attending today was just the test I needed at the end of this cleanse. Tasty smells, tempting to the eyes and I didn’t feel bad for not eating any of it. I found myself enjoying the company and choosing that over “wanting” the food. I wouldn’t have been there if it was going to be torture and I thought I was “missing” something. I was asked several times about my “diet” and my willpower, but I am not following one and I have none. I know how it may have looked to outsiders who don’t know me, and I don’t blame them. When I sat there with my insulated drinks cup & straw, eating nothing, abstaining from partaking in the scrumptious spread, compared with a whole table of women eating a beautifully prepared brunch together, it did look like I was setting myself apart from them – making a statement of some sort.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I am done with diets. I am done with restricting myself for a calorie deficit and feeling like I can’t or shouldn’t have things. My decision to consume only juice for 28 days comes from a place of commitment to my health. It is not through restriction in a “half-glass-empty” way, and I would not want it to seem so. I choose to consume only fresh fruit & veg for a short period of time, as a cleanse, to rejuvenate me in a “glass-fully-full” sort of way. I recently learnt about taking time to “fill your cup”, meaning that taking care of yourself = keeping your cup full. If you don’t do things to keep your cup full, you’ll have nothing to give or share with others. It’s about mindfulness techniques and we’ve been programmed genetically and socially to be the caregivers, to put others first. We think we don’t deserve to take care of ourselves until everyone else is happy. On an airplane, we’re instructed to put on our own oxygen masks first, before helping a child do the same. If you think that’s a crazy idea, realise that you’re not much help to anyone if you’ve passed out due to lack of oxygen because you tried to help everyone else first. The same applies to everyday life. It might sound selfish but that’s what society has taught us for years, that it’s a bad thing to put yourself first or to spend time looking after yourself. But empty cups lead to burnout and ultimately breakdowns. It’s all too easy to see when our health has broken down or that we’re burnt out (exhausted) but what I’m doing is making sure that I don’t get to that stage – maintaining a healthy environment for my body to function properly.

While it may look like I am following a particular “diet”, I would never want it to seem like I am. I choose to include juice in my general diet as part of my new healthy lifestyle. I no longer follow any particular juice plan like I did the very first time I decided to try out the 28-day challenge. I did it then to ensure that I was getting all of the correct vitamins and nutrients so that it was an easy challenge to get through. I then learnt how to “eat the rainbow” and how to listen to what my body needs. So, for the last 2 cleanses, I have followed my own instinct on which juices to have each day. In general, juices fall into 3 main dominant colours – green, purply red & orange. Green veg, beetroot & carrots dominate over any other fruit present in a juice so they become the foundation of each juice and then whatever you add on top of that only alters the brightness of the shade. Colour = nutrients and a variety in colour = a variety in nutrients. You need a wide range of a variety in order to maintain a good balance of vitamins & minerals. That’s why diets that only allow you to eat certain things are never advisable because you need a good variety of everything to function. You’ve heard the phrase “everything in moderation” – well we all say it, but do we understand it? A little bit of everything is the secret to good happiness and health because a variety in nutrition is the key to everything working in sync, just the way it should do.

Or how about “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince & dinner like a pauper”? Breakfast should be the most important meal of the day, I’ve said this before, how you’re breaking your fast and the body will soak up whatever you first put in it after a fast. Lunch should be the main meal (as it was for many of our older generations, it certainly was for my Grandpa!) so that you can digest it properly throughout the rest of the day. Then dinner is the smallest meal as you don’t have as long to utilise it correctly.

Much like adding extra veg to your main meals, reducing/avoiding bread or other carbs and choosing fruit over sugary snacks; adding juice into my daily diet is a choice I make to live a healthier life - for me, my husband, and our future chance at producing a family. I do it to flood my body with the ‘liquid gold’ which has so far healed me, when other options I tried over a whole decade, did nothing to help, only hinder. My diet is my bank account. All deposits I make are future investments. I mean, who knew I had a crystal ball to see into the future?! What I put into my body today, affects how my body reacts tomorrow and next week and next month. All I can trust in is that God allows my body to continue to heal and function in the way He intended it to.

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umassdonahueinstitute · 5 years ago

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Worldwide check-ins from Civic Initiative alumni during the COVID-19 epidemic (part 2)

Mike Hannahan, director of the UMass Civic Initiative, asked alumni last week about how the COVID-19 pandemic was affecting them and what they were doing to take care of themselves during this unprecedented time across the world. Here are there responses, categorized by country.

The responses are to two questions: How has the coronavirus changed your life? How are you taking care of yourself?

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Iraq

I am studying for a master’s degree in translation and now we are taking online lectures. In Iraq, everything has stopped. The government and many intellectual citizens are doing their best to prevent Covid-19 from spreading more by educating people to stay home, and showing people how important it is to help each other in these hard times.

Pakistan

It has given me time to recalibrate my relations with my family and think about what is the most important thing in life for me and try to prioritize that in my heart. I am spending more time with family and being more kind, tolerant, and careful in my actions because I feel coronavirus was sent to teach me just that. Because of corona, our college is closed, it has affected us badly. I had some other activities to do, but because of corona the activities were postponed. Because of corona it seems like everything is stopped. The hotels here are closed too. But, for students, it's a hard time. In Swat Valley, the annual examination of students has been postponed and it affected them badly. The daily life routine has been changed now because of corona.

We are following the instructions of the government, we wash our hands, and use a face mask. We are at home and hoping for some good news soon.

Iraq

I'm a junior doctor now, which means my colleagues and I will be running Kurdistan's emergency rooms. That puts us at the front line against coronavirus. We are the first line of contact and we've received little personal protective equipment (PPE). I've received a single N95 mask to use for 2 months. There's a serious lack of PPE here. Coronavirus has changed everything. Personally, I had planned to visit my fiancée in Baghdad. She had planned to come over for Newroz. I haven't seen her for 4 months. Her employment is delayed indefinitely. Our party is also delayed. Hope you are doing well. It makes me really sad to see the USA's numbers day after day. Please take care & stay safe.

Benin

There are 5 people affected by the coronavirus in my country, but the situation is under control. The government has taken some urgent measures to prevent the spreading of the disease. The universities, churches, and some public places are closed. I am obliged to stay at home with my family.

Pakistan

Coronavirus has brought an economic crunch to our country. It has affected the lifestyle and fear of death have prevailed in our ambiance. People are securitized due to curfews and lockdowns. We are in fear of constant life survival. A lot of people are canceling their special occasions like marriages, birthdays, social gatherings and even shopping areas and cinema theatres are closed.

I am taking care of myself through properly washing/sanitizing and not touching/shaking hands/meeting anyone with unsanitized hands.

Argentina

In Argentina, all non-essential activities were canceled; teaching will resume in April 2 (on-line), and people should stay at home until that date (administrative decision of the Federal Government). All my relatives are just fine and confined to their homes. Our only concern is that we're expecting a girl (5th month pregnancy). She will be named "Malena", and Natalia (my wife) needs to be properly controlled. Next week, we'll see with our physician how do those controls are going to work during the quarantine.

Pakistan

I am working from home nowadays in Karachi as the majority of the offices are closed here. We have restricted our movement outside the house. We wear masks if we go to supermarkets. Sanitizers have become part of life. We’ve learned to wash hands regularly after every 15-30 mins. I have made sure I have some fruits every day including Vitamin C. Every now and then there’s something happening around the world and this is just one of them. May God keep us safe and our families healthy & happy.

Cameroon

COVID-19 has greatly impacted the way Cameroonians live. Although being a decentralized unitary state, everything is still pretty much centralized and we live with a lot of fear. Communication is not fluid as local governments only work following the central government line of action and authorization. Things as urgent as information emanates from the central government and this takes time. We rely more on private and foreign media to get up-to-date information on COVID-19.

The prime minister read out a list of measures issued by the government. This included shutting down of the entire academic system from kindergarten to universities. So we are at home. Online education is impossible to institute in my context so all the students are home. Bars, restaurants are to close from 6pm. We are worried that the measures are not sufficient. So my family has adopted our own measures to stay at home and only open our doors to venture out to any public space if it is extremely necessary. We do it with a lot of caution (handwashing regularly, using hand sanitizers and washing the clothes we wore out, as soon as we get home.)

Daily life is getting challenging as a spike in prices of common commodities is at a record high. We live in so much fear and it is worrisome. We pray that this thing gets over ASAP so life can become normal. It is challenging living this new normal indefinitely.

Pakistan

Coronavirus has changed our lifestyle because we can't use hand sanitizer or wear masks after the virus spread day by day in our country we try to avoid unnecessary contact and avoid going out of home for 15 days

Rest in home is better than Rest in peace.

Pakistan

How has the coronavirus changed your life? To be honest, a social entrepreneur the current COVID-19 affected the online business, as I am a CEO. Pakistan is already ruined. But, we the freelancers, bringing dollars to Pakistan is affected much. Because most of the people are already diverted towards COVID-19.

Now the virus is global. This is not about just 2020. We will see this virus again every year just like the Congo virus, dengue fever. My life routine is the same, I can't miss gatherings, cousins and hangouts.

Laos

During this time is a very hard situation in every country around the world. Right now in Laos we have two people who have COVID-19 but I am still worried because I live nearby the border with Thailand and we have a lot of labor workers come back to my home town, more than 4000 people.

Coronavirus is changing my life a lot because I live with fear and worry about events. We stay at home together, we need to protect ourselves and people at work and family life. Right now, I am working at home and not going out. We work online which is very effective for the economy, because food and things get more expensive.

Right now I have to take care of myself by doing exercise, avoid crowds, washing hands and I will learn to accept this situation. When I go outside, I always wear a mask. This is my report from my hometown, Savannakhet, Laos. I hope this situation will be better soon.

Pakistan

Paused every activity of everyday life. Staying home, self-quarantine, protecting myself and family, avoiding gatherings, and maintaining a social distance. It has changed the way we behave now into a cleaner healthier way. We have to wash our hands very often, do physical distancing with friends, neighbors and office colleagues. It has made us work and learn from home now. It’s been 8 days we do this and still a week to go. Not sure when it will be over and it's not getting better as confirmed case increased every day and death rate is at 9 percent due to the virus after the first case announced on March 2. The instruction to stay home for 14 days has not been fully obeyed by the citizens. They still hang out in cafes or restaurants. I’m sad and angry. The gov't must make it an order with sanction than an instruction.

Staying at home and locking it down. I’m doing all work and school from home using technology. It really helps with internet! Read books, play with kids at home to cheer them up. They are getting bored and miss the school. Watch good movies in computers or gadgets. Sometimes, I do art and crafts with kids.

Pakistan

Well, we are at complete lockdown due to increasing cases of Covid-19. Around 803 cases have been reported in Pakistan and 353 particularly in Sindh. People were taking it as a joke and I came across really educated people saying that if it’s written then we’ll die. I know that too but that doesn’t mean you go & commit suicide. It’s really nice of Sindh govt, Mr.Murad Ali shah has taken the decision for complete lockdown. I just hope & pray things get better now. As all educational institutions, private and govt offices everything is closed. Pakistan is already suffering through some terrible economic losses and now this. We are an undeveloped country and we cannot afford Covid-19 like other countries in the world.

Vietnam

Since the coronavirus outbreak in my country, we have been encouraged to work from home, which causes some inconvenience, especially in communicating with other colleagues and accessing the database. It's really hard to buy face masks and hand sanitizers in my country now. One of our social projects for local students this summer is likely to be canceled since the students may not have summer breaks.

Currently, I'm working from home and trying to maintain a healthy diet. Social distancing does not seem easy in my country so most people choose to stay home all the time. I'm refraining from going outside as well (I don't really like it). I'll try going outside in the next couple of days for some fresh air.

Nepal

We got the second case of coronavirus in Kathmandu last Sunday, she is in treatment in hospital. The first case was some three weeks back who recovered. Now, the government has announced a complete lockdown of Kathmandu, except of essential services and supplies. We are more alert on safety these days. The situation is under control.

Pakistan

My town District Multan is the gateway to 15 districts & 4 Divisions of Punjab Province. Recently Punjab Government has established one of the largest quarantine centers which is nearly 8 kilometers away from the city area and more than 1500 pilgrims are staying there. Due to this government action, people are now living in a panic condition and Punjab government announced lockdown from 24th March to 6th April 2020. So in this situation, we are spending our time at home, even as we are a donor-dependent organization so we worry how the projects and jobs can continue.

We are trying to make social/physical distances with people, eating healthy food and living in an environment that is hygienically safe and sound.

As a social activist, I think we should build contacts and networking with the communities who have recovered in this situation. A stress-free motivational campaign should start and any initiative should be taken for poor communities so that their livelihood needs can be accomplished.

Greece

The biggest change that has stepped into my life is that due to travel restrictions I can't reunite with my family, as I work in Thessaloniki (Greece) and my family lives in Sofia (Bulgaria). I don't know when travel restrictions will be lifted. My daily schedule hasn't changed much: from my apartment to my workplace (the university which is shut but still allow staff members to visit their offices) and the other way around. What has changed is that all socialization takes place through "technical means of communication" and that I guess can make you feel lonely.

Iraq

We’re staying at home, no school and no gatherings for now. We only go out to buy food or anything necessary. It has already been two weeks of quarantine. We are trying as much as we can to share awareness and follow safety guidelines by wearing gloves, masks and using hygiene every now and then. Although the cases are increasing, I’m hoping for everyone to be safe, and thank you for asking.

Pakistan

This is an unprecedented time and everything is up in the air. We all have learned about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and we know, perhaps more than any other profession, that students who are worried or scared are not receptive as learners. We, too, are subject to Maslow’s Hierarchy. It’s not just for children. At this moment our safety is threatened. I am trying to give myself grace, understanding, rest and dropping the expectations for a while. Taking my foot off the accelerator. Taking care of my security and safety needs, mentally and physically through social distancing and enjoying Netflix after online classes.

As an educationist, life has changed in a matter of weeks in regards to how students are educated. In the past two weeks, there are multiple announcements starting from school closures to social distancing to cancellation of exams. The coronavirus pandemic has changed how millions around the globe are educated. We are conducting online classes for our high schoolers and sent learning activities to the rest of the students through emails and our parent app. I am holding my faculty meetings through Zoom staying in touch with them, helping keep their spirits up during the school closure, appreciating their hard work in regards to distance learning.

I hope and pray that the world is free from this pandemic soon and we resume regular routine work.

Pakistan

I am a resident of Karachi located in the province of Sindh, where most of the coronavirus cases have been reported to date. As I am writing this account, we’re entering the 2nd day of a 15-day curfew imposed by the provincial government for the controlling the spread of COVID-19 disease. I work as a full-time news correspondent for Independent Urdu, Pakistani edition of The Independent UK. Since the day Sindh government imposed a ban on public gatherings, which was almost one week back, I had to cancel or postpone all of my field assignments including interviews, digital video shoots and important press conferences. I always work from home but it never felt so restricted because every now and then I had to go out for some assignment but now we have entirely digital methods for maintaining the quality of our content.

Being a reporter it is my responsibility to keep my readers and viewers informed but in these circumstances but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Since the day I heard that the number of cases has crossed 20 in Sindh, I have restricted my movements. My family and I are extremely cautious and take all the necessary precautions. We haven’t met any relatives or friends since then, all interactions have been on phone. We only go out for groceries. Moreover, I have been more than active with my work peers since the rest of the people have also shifted to a work from home policy so it’s essential for me to be easily reachable at all times. As for the habit of socializing and dining out since I am quite outgoing, I have shifted to a video call policy with my friends and get creative in the kitchen for all my cravings.

Spain

Confinement in my mini flat, working from home.

Pakistan

As we live in a third world country, Covid-19 has affected us badly in terms of health and education. All the educational institutions are closed and my students don't have any facilities for me to reach them and teach on-line. Most of the students don't have smartphones and internet connections at home. Secondly, we face a very different situation regarding health facilities. People can't take Covid-19 test and use expensive medicines because of this shutdown. China was facing the coronavirus, they fought it and they won. In Pakistan, we have ignorance, different ideas, religious differences, bigotry, and so many other things. I don't know what will be the end result. So it's hard for us to win this war against coronavirus.

I am mostly staying at home and taking care of the family. Washing hands and wearing masks (Very hard to find masks in the market). Nobody did any Covid-19 test in the family as this test is very expensive and one has to travel to Peshawar or Islamabad for this test.

Pakistan

I was supposed to be working in Lahore and Islamabad. When things started getting out of control, I was immediately called back to the head office and a day later was asked to work from home. Since I work in the pharma sector, my work revolved around meeting doctors and briefing them on on-going projects and conducting interviews. That has come to a complete halt

I came back and self-isolated for five days away from family as my parents are elderly and in the most at-risk group but since I didn't show any symptoms I am now mingling with them but haven't left my apartment in seven straight days now. It's not a fun place to be in but I know it is the only way to take care of my parents and other vulnerable groups around me.

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sunbus45-blog · 5 years ago

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Do You Worry About What To Eat on Your Candida Diet?

Whenever you’re faced with opportunities for lots of food–such as summer BBQs, travel, or the holiday seasons–do you find yourself worrying in advance about what you are going to eat?

For so many of my clients, the stress around the specifics of their foods, especially when they’re in social situations and surrounded by others, can create so much anxiety and worry that they aren’t able to truly enjoy the events themselves.

I remember all too well how much I used to fret with thoughts like, “Will I find something I can eat there?” “Will they be able to accommodate all of my dietary restrictions?” “What if someone pushes food on me and I can’t say no because it would be too rude?” –and so many more.

Once I finally got that worry, and what I could do to eliminate it entirely, under control, that’s when everything changed for me and I could truly enjoy myself again, and take part fully in all the wonderful events and occasions that I had been missing. And all of that, of course, without ever breaking my candida diet.

I started coaching around how to make these changes and fit them seamlessly into your life so you wouldn’t have to take the same time and make the same mistakes before learning to give up the stress without a struggle, and without having to experience repeated symptom flares that could hijack your family time and social life.

Today’s video provides a little tweak you can make at these times that can start the process, and make socializing easier.

Let me know what you think in the comments, and if this has been helpful to you!

Question: Do you worry about the food choices you’ll have when you’re committed to sticking with your diet? What have been some of the major challenges in this area for you?

Highlights:

The most common worry around food for people on a restricted diet

How to remove your biggest concern

The true concern when you’re focused on the food

How to redirect your focus for best chance of success

How to really enjoy yourself at these events and social situations

Resources:

Disclosure: Links in this post may be affiliate links. If you choose to purchase using those links, at no cost to you, I will receive a small percentage of the sale.

Subscribe for recipes and more about living well without sugar, gluten, eggs or dairy! Click here to subscribe to RickiHeller.com via email. You’ll receive emails sharing recipes and videos as soon as they’re posted, plus weekly updates and news about upcoming events. A healthy lifestyle CAN be sweet!

Source: https://www.rickiheller.com/2019/07/do-you-worry-about-what-to-eat-on-your-candida-diet/

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twoscoopsofrecovery · 8 years ago

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re·cov·er·y  a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.  I wouldn't say I'm in recovery, but I also wouldn't say I'm fully in my ed or addiction at this point. I feel like I'm re entering recovery. But this time fully and honest, and I think that is why it is taking a little longer to surrender. When I do surrender I am doing It fully and completely. Two months back in treatment. Three months since I last wrote, so as assigned I'm writing again. An assignment I actually don't mind, I get to do what I love. A lot has happened. I've found myself kicked out of my parents house, yet again, jobless, broke, living with friends. Seems to be the norm. My mood has been extremely unstable and my behaviors are out of control. Well, sort of. I stopped purging. Since December 20th, when I finally came back to rosewood, I've only purged once. Which, is crazy because before I came in I was purging everything I ate. So major improvement there. Readmitting myself was this whole process. Due to health reasons it took longer then expected. My doctor found I had pancreatitis, which freaked me out to no end and back and motivated me to start eating a little bit before I even got back into treatment. Which, was insanely hard. My first two to three weeks back, I couldn't finish a single meal. It was humiliating to some extent, I felt completely incapable. With restricting, I haven't really been. There's this grey area in my brain where if I don't have the means to eat and if I don't have money, I don't have to eat. Which, was a bit of a problem maybe a week or two ago but I've seemed to improve with that one. So I guess my behaviors aren't out of control; I haven't purged, meal plan compliant, I don't binge, I don't use laxatives/diuretics/diet pills, I don't over exercise. Where does the problem stand then? Easy: my drinking. I'm in a constant debate with myself lately. Do I have an alcohol problem? A year ago I would've instinctively answered yes, I am an alcoholic. Today, well, I am not sure how to answer that question. I've drank a couple times now since being back. I'm supposed to be sober, everyone is supposed to be sober while in a program like this. My rational is: if I don't have a problem, I shouldn't have a problem staying sober for the duration of my stay at rosewood. But I find myself trying to sneak around the rules to drink. Is it a problem? I'm not too sure. When I drink I don't do so excessively, just enough to get decently drunk. Which, if you know me, you'd know its pretty easy for me because I basically have zero tolerance. So, again, I ask, where is the problem? The problem that I am encountering is not the actual alcohol it's self, or any drugs, or anything tangible for that matter. I do not think I am physically addicted to any substance currently as it stands. What I am addicted to, is escaping. And that's where the problem lays. I can't handle my reality, I want to get plastered, and forget about the shit show I call my life. I'm still terribly depressed and it keeps coming and going in waves and I can't really take it anymore. My life is currently rotating between, I want to kill myself and I'm writing a suicide note, to, my life is amazing and I love everyone so much and I'm so grateful for what I do have and people are inherently good. Which, is exhausting. A wave of sadness hit me the other day. Partially due to concerns, partially because of no reason. The other night I spent most of the evening with my boyfriend. I almost went into a flash back and started disassociating but was able to pull myself out of it before it had happened. He was extremely supportive and understanding, which was extremely comforting while I was in a more vulnerable place. When I got back to my friends place that I'm staying at, I was texting him, and something had come up. I've found myself scared to think about what things would be like with out him. Which, is insane because I haven't thought that about someone since my ex who I dated for almost two years. I don't find myself pushing him away, if anything I'm scared because I know I'm becoming attached, and commitment is scary, but I want it so badly. So, relationship wise, I'm extremely happy with where it's going. I'm very grateful I met someone who gets me and is there for me. It's going on the right direction, I'm in love, I'm happy, communication is there, things are good. So abnormal for me, but hey I'll take it. It's good and exciting. But, i miss my mom. My sisters, my brother. I know I have family, they're there, just not there right now. I have other family, family of choice vs. family of origin. I have people around me that help me out and are there for me. But I still miss them. So much. Before I readmitted me and my mom had probably the best mother daughter relationship I could of ever asked for. We had very real conversations about life; the good the bad, the nitty gritty details of addictions and my eating disorder. My mom confided in me and I the same. I miss my mother terribly. I miss my sisters and their beautiful sun-filled smiles. Sophia and her innocence. Audrey, who finally felt comfortable enough telling me her deep 5th grade coming of age secrets. Leo, who was just beginning to trust in me once more. I miss them. I miss them so much it hurts and I try not to think of it. So I won't talk about it anymore. I guess over all everything has improved and become more complicated. Still Canadian though, that's a major stress for me. But, I think I have figured out a way around it. I can get an F-1 visa, which is a student visa. Of course I'd have to take out loans to be able to go to school, and probably be in debt for the rest of my life, and after I'm done with school my visa is up and I cannot switch visas to something more permanent. So, it would just be delaying the process of going back to Canada. Which, at this point, I don't mind too much. Who knows where I'll be in four years. Four years ago I definitely didn't think I'd be back in treatment for a second time. Nor did I think I'd be alive at 20. At 16 I thought by time I was 18 I'd be dead. And "If I make it to twenty I'll have dentures" which didn't exactly happen. So yeah, maybe things have improved. I don't have much to complain about right now. Well, I have tons to complain about, I'm just choosing not to, because I'm not so sure how that'd serve me at this point. Wallowing in my own self pity doesn't help much anymore. I realize I need to get up, and move forward. I need to take action. It is my life and I do want it to be better then it has been. Ive recently reconnected with an old friend. I'm extremely grateful for her, as she has been there through the most depressive points in my life, and still has stuck by. She is family, and I love her dearly. Talking to her more recently I've realized how much I have changed, although I feel as though I haven't. We used to be a little group, me, her, my ex who is her step brother, her best friend, and her boyfriend who is now her husband. We used to do everything together. Before I had initially started treatment I lived with her because, well, my parents kicked me out. She had taken me in and for about two months we were this happy little family, until my suicide attempt. Which I regret so terribly and hate myself for putting them all through. When I was 18 I had an episode where I slit my wrists and hoped to die. Instead, my ex came into the bathroom where I was attempting to do so, and then a few minutes later, the rest of everyone. They rushed me to the ER and I was admitted to the psych hospital about twelve hours later, where I had never felt so alone. I spent five days in the hospital and then went to reasons inpatient for my ed because like my friend had said "be honest about your eating disorder". They had stayed with me while I was in the ER and the entire time she had been saying to be honest. And honestly if I didn't listen to her I probably never would have gone to treatment. So ash, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you so much for everything you've ever done for me. I love you and you're a huge part of why I ever decided to change and learn to live. My parents always told me growing up that friends never last and family is forever. I'm upset, I'm hurt, I'm angry. Where the fuck are my parents now? If family is forever where are they? All I have is friends at this point. Which, again, I am so insanely grateful for. I don't know what I would be doing with out any of you. The people I choose to surround myself around are the people who actually stick around. Who knew, if you surround yourself by good people, good things happen. In my relapse this last time around, someone had asked me why I was killing myself over making my parents happy. At that time I wasn't exactly too sure what they meant and why they would say something like that. I was upset and hurt by it. But looking back just three months I completely understand that statement. Unfortunately, if I want to recover and live my life, I have to be separated from my parents. I love them so much. I love them to the moon and back. I have so much respect for them and would never do anything to hurt them. I think they are amazing people, but right now as it stands I have to love them from afar. And I'm coming to a place of acceptance with this. I think this is manageable at the point. As far as my visa goes, I've decided to get my F1. A student visa. I'll take out a loan and pay for school. I'll probably be in debt for the rest of my life but at this point, I do not care. All I'm doing is going to school for cosmetology and honestly, that's not that much money. So I need to finish high school. Which is on my list of things to do. This week I'm going to figure out how/where to go to get my transcripts. Or if I'm just going to take my GED. Also this week I'm going to meet up with a friend on Sunday and see if I can get a job anywhere. I'm excited honestly things feel like they're moving forward finally. And that's because of me. Because I finally decided to stop crying and wallowing in my self pity and actually get up and do something. The good news is, everyone else's voice is out of my head. I'm a lot more clear on what to do and how to do it.

#ed recovery #ed treatment #adulting

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elizabethbgrimes · 6 years ago

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“That Girl” (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be)

Day 1-Blog-“That Girl”

Have you ever wanted to be “that girl?”—That girl who has it all “together?”

Or perhaps, have you ever feel like your body is working against you?

You think: “If only I _____” then I’d be happy?

If only I weighed 10 pounds less or more

If only I didn’t have love handles or cellulite

If only I was fitter, stronger, faster, or better

If only I didn’t feel so bloated or constipated all the time

IF ONLY I WAS “THAT GIRL,” THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE PERFECT!

We all have that nagging thing—I call it our “Achille’s heel” or “dangling carrot.” That thing that holds us back or keeps us striving forward, telling ourselves, “If” or “When” we are “THAT girl” ALL will be well.

I get it…big time.

My Back Story: Wanting to Be “That Girl”

For MOST of my life, I’ve wanted to be “THAT GIRL.”

You know: A mix between Blake Lively, meets Mary Kate & Ashley Olson, meets Carey Underwood, meets “Tone it Up,” meets CrossFit badass, meets ____ —any other beautiful girl that comes to mind.

In fact, for the latter first half of my life, I struggled with a severe eating disorder that left me constantly in pursuit of the ideal: Wanting to be “that girl.” (Check it out here)

It Begins: 9 Years Old

Wanting to be “that girl” all started around the time I was 9-years-old. What began as an “innocent diet,” however, quickly snowballed into a full blown eating disorder, in pursuit of becoming “that girl.”

Although I found recovery (over 15 years later), in the aftermath, I found myself struggling with ANOTHER health battle I NEVER saw coming—and that ironically, STILL, left me striving to be “that girl.”

I call it “Post Recovery Recovery”—what happens to your body AFTER spending MANY YEARS dieting and abusing it.

Post Recovery Recovery

In short: for the past 5-6 years, I’ve still found myself wrestling with my body at times.

Hating on it or telling it, “You’re too thin,” “You’re not pretty enough,” “You’re not healthy enough”…

To say the least, over the past 5-6 years, as my body has continued to heal from more than 20 years of damage (from both my eating disorder and my childhood processed foods diet), I’ve also dealt with my fair share of side effects from those years including:

Metabolic Dysfunction & Insulin Resistance

Autoimmune Diseases

Amenorrhea

Hormone Imbalances (“adrenal fatigue”)

IBS, SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), Dysbiosis (gut bacteria imbalances)

Thyroid Problems

Rude and hurtful comments and whispers from others who cut me down because of what I look like

—All of which have left me feeling frustrated with my body and, more than anything, wanting to be “That Girl.”

My Wakeup Call

While it’s not bad to want to look good and feel good, these frustrations with my body continued until the past 6 months when I had a BIG wakeup call that I actually am THAT GIRL, and she’s been inside me all along.

What do I mean?

If you’ve every wanted to be “That Girl,” read on to find out. This one is for you…

That Girl

How “That Girl” Looks

She’s got a defined waist, toned legs, flat abs. Perfect hair, not one out of place, even after the wind blows.

She looks good in jeans and a t-shirt, Lululemon yoga pants or a little black dress—no matter what she’s wearing, she’s always dressed to kill.

At the lake, or at the beach, she can rock any swimsuit she so chooses—be it a frumpy one-piece that she turns into a ‘classy’ Jackie-O style, a sportswear Speedo—donning her femininely buff arms and legs, or a string bikini—who no one else on this planet could wear but her.

She can even make a brown paper sack look good.

How “That Girl” Moves

That Girl moves ever so gracefully in high heel pumps—as if they were Nike tenni-shoes, and any time she enters a room, heads always turns to see that woman who just walked through the door.

She’s fabulous, confident, and completely 100% at peace in her own skin—never a flinch of distaste for herself, but not conceited either.

She just is—she does her thing, nothing seemingly standing in her way.

She’s into CrossFit, Barre, yoga, spin or running—something she totally loves and moves, not out of hate for her body, but out of love—doing things that enliven her and give her energy. And when she’s working, she doesn’t sweat. She glows.

How “That Girl” Eats

She’s totally paleo, or into green juice, or vegan—something that makes her feel connected with nourishing her body and sustainability. She probably doesn’t feel pulled or tugged to or sneak a date with Ben & Jerry’s on her couch late at night.

How “That Girl” Hangs

That Girl has a long line of suitors who would kill to date her, or raise her children. She always has. And she doesn’t settle for anyone or neeeeed a man to define her. Whoever is by her side is special—someone that is able to hang with That Girl and doing big things in this world too—captain of the football team, president of his fraternity, hot musician, soccer stud, CrossFit badass, an investor, a Harvard-educated lawyer, a retired pro baseball player, an entrepreneur—of, now, multi-million dollar companies.

She also has a select handful of really amazing friends—Girls who are doing things in their lives. Growing non-profits, changing lives, starting something great. She moves and grooves with other movers and shakers.

That Girl’s Instagram has thousands upon thousands of likes, whether she posts a picture of her Acai Bowl at her favorite café, the scenery of her awesome vacay to the West Coast, kicking butt in spin class, rocking her bikini laughing with her friends on a Labor Day boat ride, or side-by-side with her fam on a visit home—people love to see what she’s up to.

How “That Girl” Does It All

That Girl has a lot on her plate—just like we all do—and then some, but for some reason, she seems to pull it off without flinching.

“I don’t know how she does it” other says.

She’s a med student, a pediatrician, a finance and accounting double major. She’s going to be the next Erin Andrews on ESPN, or talk show personality on the Today Show. She’s an accomplished blogger, jewelry designer, fashion merchandiser. She has her own business—or is looking into starting her own. She’s an active member of her sorority, or the Junior League; cheer squad or inspiring personal trainer; three kids or super nanny; Honors Society or booming medical or law practice in town; chair of the Booster Club, PTA or chair of the community service organization; a leader in student government or a social do-good non-profit movement.

That Girl doesn’t waste time. You won’t find her spending hours upon hours, sitting on a couch, watching re-runs of the Gilmore Girls, or staying up on her computer until the wee hours of the night Facebook stalking, or look up at the end of the day and think, “What did I do today?”

She’s engaged in living her life—not watching it pass her by.

That Girl totally, fully, completely has it ALL together, and we all, at one time or another, have wanted to be That Girl.

And try as we might…That Girl is always there, in the back of our minds.

How “That Girl” Has ALWAYS Been There (in the Back of Our Minds)

In middle school and high-school That Girl’s accomplishments and accolades looked different—but she still had it all together. And that’s what we wanted too. Come college and her 20-somethings, then on to 30’s and kid rearing, and even in her post-menopausal and golden years, That Girl is the Girl we always want to be—but never can seemingly live up to.

And we can’t help but think: How does she have it all—and have it all together—and I never do? Or, I am not good enough plays on repeat in the back of our minds.

In our efforts to be That Girl we’ve hired personal trainers and committed to 30 day bikini BODY tone ups.

We’ve gone on juice cleanses, tried the paleo diet, sworn off meat, downloaded My Fitness Pal to carefully calculate every calorie we consumed. We’ve restricted, then binged, then purged through exercise, fasting or with our head in a toilet.

We look in the mirror every time we pass by—to check to see if we look any better than the last time we looked. We’ve gone blonde, brunette, ombre—something in between.

We’ve plastered on fake lashes, laid in contraptions with harsh lights to get tan or been sprayed down while standing completely naked in a foreign shower to look more bronzed.

We’ve dragged our butts out of bed to go to the gym and slaved away not at just one cardio kickboxing class, but stayed around for Pump or Core right after to get our double dose of body chiseling.

We’ve run another mile in the name of justifying that muffin we ate for breakfast or that sushi roll we are thinking of eating for lunch. We’ve Google searched until late into the night—looking for the answers to our bloating, stubborn weight gain, metabolism or fast ways to get lean.

All to be That Girl.

How “That Girl” is Not Reality

It’s easy to believe that everyone else is much better than you.

Comparison is the thief of all joy and like a dangling carrot in front of our noses, That Girl is something we’ve constantly chased, but never seemed to catch.

The reality?

You are not alone. Everyone else, just like you, has wanted to be That Girl (and it’s not just something that goes away after middle school).

The reality?

“That Girl” doesn’t really exist—At least she doesn’t exist the way you think she does.

Because That Girl also has a “That Girl” that she wants to be too.

And That Girl really only exists when she first believes that she can actually be That Girl herself—That Girl who glows, has confidence, knows her worth and isn’t worried about being like the next person. That Girl who is present and fully committed to living her own life—not someone else’s. That Girl who realizes all she has (and wants) to be is the best version of herself.

How You Can Be “That Girl”

YOU can be That Girl when you stop striving and comparing.

When you make up your mind to STOP hating so much on yourself…or loathing your weight…or your style (or lack thereof)…or your frumpy hair.

When you stop fingerpointing all of your flaws, and instead, decide to genuinely, truly love yourself as you are—flaws, blemishes, quirks and all.

Just do you and when becoming “THAT GIRL” is made possible.

The post “That Girl” (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be) appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/mindset-body-love/that-girl-becoming-the-girl-you-always-want-to-be/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/ “That Girl” (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be) via https://drlaurynlax.blogspot.com/

#Elizabeth B. Grimes #ElizabethGrimes #Holistic #Nutrition #Therapy #Recovery #Functional #Medicine

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clarencebfaber · 6 years ago

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That Girl (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be)