#but I hate being sleepy in the middle of the day cries

[captivemuses]

I'm deeply regretting not making coffee last night for myself today bc I'm feeling the lack of coffee now jfc

[jessicaloons]

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince:

Chapter 6

Masterlist - Previous - Next

The Heartbreak Prince

23 April 2023:

"She’s gorgeous. Look at this beautiful girl." Pascale Leclerc cooed at her granddaughter, eyes full of love.

"She really is. And she’s so small… like a little doll." Charles smiled, watching his mother cradling his daughter to her chest, when his phone rang "That’s Fred. I have to take it."

"It’s okay, don’t worry, I’ll stay here with my beautiful, little girl." his mother said, not looking up from the bundle of joy in her arms.

Charles walked outside, accepting the call.

"Fred…"

"I got your text earlier. Congrats Charles, mother and daughter both okay?" his team principal asked.

"Yeah. Both healthy."

"That’s good. Really good. And the rest- umm… everything arranged?"

"Yeah. It’s been taken care of." Charles sighed.

"Good, good… I really don’t like to do this Charles- but I have to ask. Will

you race in Baku? I would understand if you didn’t want to… but- well it’s Baku. You always been quite good there, so I think… maybe…" Fred stuttered a little, as a father himself, he knew what he asked of his young driver.

"No. I have to… I said I would do everything in my power to be able to do both. Race and be a good father…" Charles replied, although he honestly didn’t want to leave his precious girl behind.

"You don’t have to come with everyone else, be here on the 27th, for media day, that’s fine…" his Team Principal suggested and he nodded slowly.

"Thanks Fred, see you in Baku."

"See you in Baku…"

Charles pocketed his phone, leaning against the wall when the door to the hospital room opened, his mother looking outside.

"You need to feed her, come on in…" she smiled at her son and Charles pushed himself off the wall, following her back in.

The gorgeous baby girl scrambled in the little crib, soft cries leaving her.

"Here, it’s warm. Take her and sit down…" his mother instructed him and he did as told.

After a couple of minutes a comfortable silence fell over the room. Only the newborn’s tiny sounds while eagerly suckling on the bottle were to be heard.

Charles eyes were full of love and adoration for the tiny human being in his arms, to think he would only have 4 days until he had to leave his little girl for the first time hurt him beyond belief. But he knew that he made a promise. He would do everything to give his daughter the best life possible.

"It’s just you and me, mon ange… just you and me, but I promise you, I will do everything to keep you safe, keep you happy." Charles leaned down to gently kiss his little girls forehead "I love you, my beautiful Ava."

"And this will be your room, I mean, when you’re a little older of course. I know, it’s nothing special. It needs colour, decoration, maybe even different furniture… but I wanted to have the nursery ready before you were born… we change that, don’t worry, pretty girl." Charles cradled his daughter to his chest, standing in the middle of the plain, white nursery. It looked sterile. Cold. He knew it. He just didn’t have the time to change it until now "You’ll sleep in my bedroom for now anyways… here, I show you…" he walked outside the nursery, down the hallway, through the door at the end "This is where we sleep, how do you like it?" he looked down at the sleepy baby girl, chuckling "It’s not like you’re going to answer, right? I guess your silence means you love it…"

"I hate it, I want my own bedroom, daddy!" Joris' high pitched voice behind him made Charles roll his eyes "I thought you’re a millionaire, why do we have to share a room?"

"Ha-ha, very funny…" the Ferrari driver turned around, glaring at his best friend "Before she’ll move into her nursery, I need to make it homely first. Worthy of my little princess." his eyes softened as soon as he looked back down into the baby’s face.

"You still got time, don’t worry. For now, you should enjoy the next couple of days with her, before leaving for Baku…"

"I can’t believe that I’m saying that, but I don’t want to race, I want to stay here with her, I don’t want to miss anything she’s learning, or doing for the first time!" the new father sighed.

"I know. But let’s face it, Ava is only 3 days old, she won’t do much besides sleeping and pooping…" Joris shrugged his shoulders.

"Watch it, Trouche, or I’m rethinking my choice of making you her godfather." Charles turned slightly, smiling at his best friend.

"Wha-… are you-… are you serious? M- me? Godfather?" he stumbled over his own words, eyes wide as he stared at the young father with his daughter in front of him.

"I’m serious, yeah… I mean, obviously only if you wa-…"

"Yes! YES! Of course! I just… I didn’t think you would choose me? Lorenzo? Or Arthur… but… wow. WOW!" Joris stepped closer, looking at the little angel in her father’s arms, his goddaughter "My beautiful Ava. I will try to be the best godfather, I promise!"

"And you know what? One of your first duties is to help me change her diaper… I did it the last days with maman���s or a nurses help… but now… I’m scared…"

"I mean, how hard can it be?" Joris chuckled and followed Charles to the changing table, where he gently laid down his little bundle of joy.

"Yeah, shouldn’t be that big of a problem." the new dad shrugged.

It was a problem. A big problem. And when ten minutes later the little girl was all fresh and dressed up, both young men slid down on the floor, leaning against the bed and drawer.

"I will have nightmares of this- this experience…" Joris mumbled and Charles nodded slowly.

"How can this precious, sweet little thing create such an atrocity?" he looked down at his daughter, who dozed off already, letting out the sweetest sounds.

"And now look at her! All cute and adorable!" Joris smiled and his best friend scooted over a little.

"Do you want to hold her?" he asked and looked at him.

"Umm-… sure. But you have to show me, I never held a baby that little!"

"I’ll show you, don’t worry…" Charles replied and showed Joris exactly how to held his little baby girl.

"Oh wow… oh wow… she’s so tiny…" Joris mumbled, looking at his goddaughter "She’s so cute…"

"She is perfect… I know that it won’t be easy, being here for her, taking care of her. My career. Keeping her safe from my crazy life. The media. My fans. I know the next months, maybe years will be pretty tough… but when I look at her? I just know it all will be worth it." Charles almost whispered, his gaze softening.

"I think you’re right… I mean, just look at her…" Joris replied, gently taking Ava’s hand in his much bigger one, inspecting her tiny fingers.

"I know this all was unusual. A drunk one night stand. Hiding her mother away from everyone. Keeping her a secret? But I would do it all over again, just to have her…"

Joris looked up at Charles, smiling at the way how his best friend’s soft gaze lingered on his baby girl. A content smile on his lips. His eyes full of love. He always knew that Charles would be an amazing father one day, the way he treated his little fans a clear indicator, but seeing it happening before his eyes made his own heart double in size.

"She’s your little girl."

"My little girl. My princess." Charles whispered, gently kissing his daughter’s tiny hand "My everything."

Baku 2023:

"Question for Charles, you only arrived today, everything okay? I’ve, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, noticed that you’re a little pale?" a reporter asked at the press conference and Charles picked up the microphone, clearing his throat.

"I’m good, thanks. I had to sort out something back at home, nothing bad, don’t worry, just a family- a private matter. It’s all good and I’m here, ready to race." he said it with a big smile on his face.

A smile he kept for the rest of the press conference. A fake smile. Leaving Ava behind after not even a full week hurt. It didn’t sit right with him. But he promised his team he would race. He promised him being a father now wouldn’t affect his career and he planned on keeping that promise.

"You’re alright mate?" Max asked when they left the press conference and Charles nodded "Everything alright at home?"

"Yeah, sure… it was just-… my mum. She was sick, nothing serious, but there were some things we had to take care off. Her hair salon. Stuff, you know?" the Monegasque was a horrible liar and he knew he had to improve in order to keep his secret under wraps.

"Okay-… well, I’m glad she’s good again?" Max replied.

"Hmm. Yeah. All good…"

"Alright. What do you think? Another pole this year here?"

"I much rather would start in P2 but actually win the race… but honestly? I’m not having much hope." Charles sighed, thinking about the weekend ahead, hoping for a decent outcome at least. And when Sunday came and he sat in the plane back home late at night, the smile on his face wasn’t just from being happy to see his daughter again, but also from a second place in the sprint race and a third place in the main race. His mood was only dampened by the fact that he would have too little time with his baby girl, considering he had to catch his flight on Thursday to Miami, but even if it would only be for 10 minutes, Charles would take the detour. Every single second with his daughter was precious.

"Hey my little princess…" Charles cooed at his little one, inhaling the unique newborn smell, sighing contently when he finally made his way back home "I’m back baby girl and this time I’m staying for longer than just a day!"

He thought back to last week when he made a quick stop over in between Baku and Miami, hating to leave her after only a day already.

"She was a perfect little angel." Pascale smiled, packing her granddaughters bag "Are you sure you want to drive home? You could stay here?"

"No, I really should go home. I have to get used to taking care of her alone…" Charles replied.

"Okay, here, I’ve got her a car seat." Pascale sat down the Maxi-Cosi and helped her son buckling in the little baby girl "If you need anything, call me, okay?"

"Will do. Thanks Maman, for taking care of her." Charles kissed his mother’s cheek, who gently squeezed his arm.

"I told you, we’re all helping you. It’s going to be fine. And now off you go. It looks like it’s about to rain soon…"

And Pascale was right, the moment Charles left the underground parking garage in his car the first drops fell and by the time he reached his own home it was already raining cats and dogs. But it was good like this. Not many people out in the streets. No one walking up to his car to take a picture. When he took Ava out of the carrier and laid her down in her crib he dialled his brother’s number.

"Hey Charles, how’s Ava?" Lorenzo asked and Charles rolled his eyes a little.

"What about me?" he pouted, gently stroking Ava’s cheek.

"You’re right, sorry! How are you? How is Ava?" his older brother chuckled.

"We are both doing fine. But I realised something today…"

"Yeah? And that’s what?"

"I need a new car. A bigger one. A safer one. With tinted windows. I can’t risk someone recognising me and then coming closer, taking pictures and spotting Ava. Chasing us…" Charles quietly left his bedroom, leaving the door a crack wide open.

"Okay, yeah that shouldn’t be a problem."

"Good… and now I have a week with my little one before I have to leave her yet again…" the young father sighed.

"Although I don’t know how you must feel, but let me tell you this. Formula 1 is your job, it’s been your life the past few years and you’re on a good way of finally making one of your biggest dreams come true… don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re doing your job, so it’s okay. And it’s not like you leave Ava all alone! You leave her with Maman who adores her!" Lorenzo said and Charles nodded slightly.

"You’re right… I know that… it just… it sucks a little…"

"Enjoy your week off with her for now, okay? The rest we’ll figure out! In the meantime I’ll check some cars out for you!"

"Thanks Enzo…"

"No worries little bro…"

Charles sat in his bed, Ava comfortably snuggled into his chest, watching the news about the weather in Italy.

"Looks terrifying, no?" Arthur said quietly, walking inside "I’m not even sure if we’re racing…"

"Yeah… and look at all the damage. Those poor people…" Charles sighed.

"Isn’t umm-… Alessia and her family aren’t they living in the Emilia Romagna region?" Arthur said hesitantly and by the way his brother’s head snapped up, looking at him he held up his hands "Sorry… I shouldn’t have said that…"

"You’re right. You shouldn’t have. I don’t know where they are. I don’t care where they are. I hope they’re safe, like everyone affected, but that’s it. I don’t know these people. I don’t want to know these people."

"I have food for you, from Maman…" Arthur tried to change the topic and Charles was more than happy about it.

"I’m starving…" he replied and his little brother nodded.

"I’ll go and fix a plate for you and then you can eat and I snuggle with my little bumblebee…" he left the bedroom and Charles looked down at Ava again.

She slowly opened her eyes, yawning and squirming a little.

"Hi my little princess…" Charles whispered, leaning down, kissing his daughter’s cheek "Did you have a nice nap, baby girl?"

He had to chuckle. He used to shake his head at people who exaggerate using a baby voice when tending to their babies. But now he was just like that, cooing at his little girl with a high pitched voice, waiting for a reply that wouldn’t come.

"Here you go… and now I want my little bumblebee…" Arthur sat down a plate on his older brothers night stand, looking at his niece, smiling when Charles gently laid her down in his arms "She’s so fu-…"

"Arthur!"

"- freaking cute! So incredibly, incredibly cute!" he cooed at the little girl in his arms.

"That she is…" Charles replied "I don’t want to leave on Monday… but it’s Imola, there is a ton of events Silvia couldn’t pull me out off, so I have to go…"

"I don’t want to leave either, staying here would mean no fu- messed up race weekend…" Arthur mumbled and Charles looked up from his plate.

"Don’t be too hard on yourself, Arthur…" he began but Arthur shook his head.

"4 race weekends, 8 races and only one P3… no win, no pole position, mostly finished out of the points, crashes here and there… I guess I’m just not good enough…" he sighed.

"Hey! Stop that! It’s only the beginning of the season, you need time to get used to an F2 car!" Charles sat down his plate, looking at his little brother "You wouldn’t have made it into F2 if you weren’t good enough!"

"Everyone is saying I only made it because of you…"

"What? Who’s saying that?" Charles was confused.

"Everyone. It’s everywhere, experts, journalists, they all say it. Or write it." Arthur replied, smiling at Ava holding onto his finger with a tight grip.

The older Leclerc brother grabbed his phone, opening Google typing in his brother’s name and to his shock, his little brother was right. He clicked on the first YouTube video, not wanting to believe that people would say things like that.

"… now let’s talk about his team mate, Arthur Leclerc…" the blonde woman said, looking at her two male co-hosts.

"Leclerc didn’t have the best start of the season and some people start wondering if he deserves a seat in F2 and of course how much his brother had to do with him having a seat." the dark haired reporter said, while the blonde haired guy next to him nodded.

"Don’t get me wrong. Racing is in the Leclerc brother’s blood. But I guess you can say, when back in the day their parents had to decide which brother could continue and which had to stop, they made the right choice."

Furiously he exited the app, locking his phone.

"Are you watching that?" he looked at his little brother who only shrugged his shoulders "If they can’t talk shit, they’re not satisfied."

"But they’re right, no? I’m not having a good season. I am not good enough…" Arthur mumbled "So yeah… I guess it really made sense that mum and dad put all their money on you instead of me…"

"It had nothing to do with who was better, Arthur! I was older, already further into my racing career. That was it. Nothing else." Charles said and Arthur sighed.

"If you say so." he shrugged.

Charles got off from his bed and sat down on the stool in front of his brother.

"This all, racing, it’s already tough enough without all that bullshit coming from so called experts and you know it! It had nothing to do with me, that you got your seat, Arthur! You had an amazing season in F3. You won the Formula Regional Asian Championship. That’s what got you your seat. You have proven that you’re good enough. Got it?" he said, looking at his younger brother intently who just nodded after a while, his eyes still trained on his niece "And now come on. I want to go for a little walk with her, and now that Enzo brought my new car, we can drive a little out of town to somewhere quiet. Let’s worry about racing and that all tomorrow again, okay?"

"Okay… but just so you know, I’ll sit next to her in the car, I just love looking at her…" Arthur smiled a little and Charles chuckled.

"Same, Arthur, same."

"It’s cancelled. You can go home." Mia said and Charles cocked an eyebrow.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah… I know you just arrived early this morning… but it’s official. You won’t race. You can go home." she smiled at him and it didn’t take Charles longer than 5 minutes to pack his bag and leave.

"Hey! You’re leaving?" Carlos.

Charles stopped dead in his tracks and turned around slowly "I thought we had this dinner with some sponsors later on? Discuss what we can do to help? Or at least that’s what Silvia said?"

He was right. Silvia told him about it, but also said that if the race got cancelled she would make Carlos attend alone.

"Yeah-… umm. I know… it’s just- there is a family emergency back home. I have to go." Charles lied and his team mate looked at him empathically.

"Oh shit, mate. I hope nothing too serious?"

"No. It’s, it’s not too bad, but I have to check in and make sure it stays that way."

"Alright. Do that. And take care, the streets are flooded at some parts and the re-routing isn’t working at all times…" the Spaniard clapped his back and Charles smiled at him.

"Will do, thanks. And sorry for leaving you alone with Silvia and the wolves…" he felt bad.

"Don’t worry, cabrón."

Charles slipped into his car, starting the engine, his mind already at home with his little one. He drove off the Ferrari premises and quickly made his way to the motorway, thankfully without any serious delays or issues. When he finally arrived back home in Monaco and parked his car he leaned back in his seat. Closing his eyes for a minute. He flinched when his phone beeped and he saw a text from his manager, Nicolas, coming through. A new brand collaboration. He sighed, closing the message and getting out of the car. Another gig would mean more time away from his daughter. Something he didn’t like.

Charles quietly closed the door behind him, slipping of his shoes, when he heard the soft voice of his mother, cooing at her. He stood in the doorway of his bedroom, watching his mother sitting in the rocking chair, his beautiful baby girl in her arms and his heart almost bursted.

"Look, little Ava, your papa is here…" Pascale cooed to the little girl and got up, walking over to her son.

"Hi my little princess…" he smiled at her and then kissed his mother’s cheek "Let me take a quick shower and then I’ll take her and you can go."

"Take all the time that you need." she replied, sitting back down in the chair "We are just fine…"

"I can see that." Charles chuckled and grabbed some fresh clothes, making his way into the bathroom, where he took a quick shower before joining his mother and daughter again.

"You look tired, Charles…" Pascale looked worriedly at her son, dark circles under his eyes.

"Driving late last night to Maranello, just an hour or two of sleep in the morning and then driving straight back home around noon? Yeah… I’m tired. But it’s okay. I would do everything for her…" Charles yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Why don’t you eat something and I make Ava bed ready? Change her, feed her, take her to bed and then you can go to bed as well and take over from then on?" his mother gently rubbed his arm "There are some leftovers in the fridge."

"Sounds like a plan. A good plan…" he mumbled, walking out of the room to warm up the leftovers, eating in silence before returning to his bedroom where Ava was already sleeping in her crib.

"Look at this little angel." Pascal whispered.

"She is perfect." Charles replied quietly, disappearing in his bathroom, getting bed ready himself "You should stay here Maman, it’s late."

"I’ll be fine, don’t worry. You sleep now!" she kissed his cheek "Good night, Charles."

"Good night, Maman… and thank you."

"Not for that…"

The next days Charles spent in pure bliss with his little girl. He felt like he learnt every other moment something new about her, saw a new expression in her face, a new movement of her head.

"Look! It’s like she understands what I’m saying!" he exclaimed "You’re so clever, Ava! So, so clever!"

"She doesn’t understand you. She just recognises your voice!" Lorenzo chuckled but his younger brother didn’t listen "So- umm have you thought about what to do during the Monaco GP?"

"What do you mean?" Charles looked up from his daughter, cocking an eyebrow.

"Charles, you cross the street on any normal day and at least a dozen of people swarm you here. But this week? It’s going to be crazy! Your fans will even follow Maman around, as soon as they spot her somewhere, imagine how they would stalk her if they saw her with a stroller… and she can’t stay inside the entire week with Ava! Also, everyone knows that she’s always in the paddock in Monaco. If she’s not here this year, people will start talking, and when they talk, they will look even more for her…"

"Fu-… damn. I haven’t even thought about that… but you’re right. Oh god what am I supposed to do? I don’t want people to assume that something is wrong with Maman, first Baku and the mysterious family matter why I arrived late, then the dinner in Imola that I didn’t attend because of a family emergency… if she’s not here this weekend… some people would start looking for her..." Charles leaned back, ruffling his hair.

"So umm we- no Charlotte had an idea… when I talked to her about it. We weren’t really spotted together by anyone, so she’s kinda unknown, no one would connect her in any way to you… she could take care of Ava? Go for a walk here and there with her? Watch her at least enough for Maman to be at qualifying and the race?"

"And she would be okay with that? Didn’t you ask her to join you this weekend?"

"She wouldn’t offer it if it wasn’t okay, I’ll ask her to join me next weekend then." Lorenzo replied and Charles nodded.

"If it’s okay for her? She would definitely help me out big time."

"I’ll text her then…" he said and typed away in his phone, a reply coming through almost immediately "'I can’t wait to spend some time with the precious little princess'"

"She’s an angel, tell her that. Thank you! Like seriously. Next weekend in Barcelona, you book the nicest, most luxurious hotel for you two, take her to dinner to the best restaurant. My treat."

"Stop that. She loves to help out. Also, she loves Ava, I think we’re doing her a bigger favour…" Lorenzo laughed but Charles shook his head.

"Doesn’t matter. My treat next weekend."

"She’ll be delighted."

"It’s like this." Charles mumbled, shaking his head while leaving the garage with Andrea.

"You can still get up on top…" he replied but Charles scoffed "It’s not impossible! Just wait… and even if not, then you drive home and cuddle your little girl."

"Yeah. Holding her is better than lifting any trophy out there." the driver smiled.

"See? That’s the spirit." his athletic trainer bumped his shoulder.

"Yeah, I’m trying to…"

"Now come on. Let’s get home, eat something and relax, tomorrow is a new day."

And although Charles gave his best, he wasn’t able to make up any positions. He climbed out of his car, frustrated and congratulated Max on his win.

"Well done mate, congrats."

"Thanks man." Max clapped his back and smiled "Maybe next year you’ll beat the curse."

"There is no curse. Just me or my team not delivering." Charles mumbled and walked off.

He knew how everyone talked about his Monaco curse, but looking at it, it was always just a mistake by himself or, like last year, his team. After his weighing he made his way back to the Ferrari garage and prepared for the media pen.

"Hey Charles. Another year, another disappointing result for you. What went wrong?"

"I didn’t qualify good enough. In Monaco your starting position is crucial for the race outcome. And with the penalty, starting in P6, in the middle of the DRS train in Monaco? Yeah you will most likely finish in P6, like I did." Charles sighed.

"You complained about the stiffness of the car, do you think that will be an issue next week in Barcelona as well?"

"I don’t know. We will see I guess. If the car is like this next week… we have to wait and see…"

"It’s your home GP so now you go home, have a little time with your family and then off to Barcelona?"

"Yeah. Weekend debrief with the team now and then back home where my da-…" Charles stopped abruptly, eyes wide, thinking about what to say "Where my dance partners in crime wait for me." he scolded himself.

"Dance partners in crime?" the reporter cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah after a race like today I need to dance it out, you know?"

"Okay… umm- then have fun and see you next weekend."

Charles could kick himself. He had to be more careful from now on.

"You covered that up quite well…" Mia whispered, seeing how tense Charles was "Sure it was a little… well it was different. Nothing people are used to from you but it’s okay…"

"Dance partners in crime? Dance it out?" he sighed.

"Yeah, I mean, after this weekend? Who wouldn’t want to dance it out." she squeezed his shoulder "Now come on, let’s make this quick and then you can go home, to your dance partner in crime."

"Very funny." Charles groaned and when he finally slipped of his shoes back at home, he couldn’t wait to see his daughter, knowing that she would make him forget the whole weekend with just one little smile.

"She was just a perfect little angel." Charlotte smiled at him when he walked into his living room "She watched her daddy race and then she fell asleep, just like a good little girl."

"There wasn’t much to watch today, no?" Charles mumbled, picking his daughter up from the sofa "But it’s okay… I’m here now…"

"You’ll come back stronger next week."

"I guess we’ll see."

Chapter 6 - Ladies and Gentlemen, baby Ava has arrived and she’s already wrapping EVERYONE around her tiny little fingers. Writing Charles as a dad is one of my favourite things and I can’t wait for you all to read more about him and his little girl.

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@glitterquadricorn @lottalove4evelyn @janeh22 @itsjustkhaos @mariclerc @fangirlforever2000 @queensassybitchsworld

[lenasprouts-words]

olderbrother!skz headcanons pt 2!!

ahh maknae line! hyung line

han

you guys are inseparable

you also get mad at minho for stealing your brother

also han and u are actual soulmates

minho is second (and less cool in ur opinion)

only about one-two years apart

when yall meet he does the ‘where my hug at?’ thing

its either you koala hug him or he does

just like, legs wrapped around waist typa hug

or he’ll bury his face into your armpit

you think it’s disgusting but he argues its comfy 

he sends you all his photos he wants to post

then you choose the ones you like 

he likes anime; you like kdramas

constantly fighting abt which is better

it got so heated once that even felix rose his voice for yall to stfu

its okay tho u made up a day after and went to the park to have a singing contest

you watch silly documentaries together

your chat is filled with stupid jokes and complaints

but he’s the first to know when something is wrong

started dissing this kid who bullied you in fifth grade

he got sent to the office but gave you a hug right before

steals things from photoshoots to give to you

spams you when he’s in the studio

asks you for lyric inspo and uses your terrible love life as inspo

once you showed one of his songs to your partner

’my brother wrote this about my last ex. dont make him do it again, he cried writing it.’

well your partner also cried so

matching stuffed animals <3

asks you to help him learn twice choreo

bc ur a huge once

he also got you a signed album from them

’oh here noonas gave me this idk why tho’

felix

loves you to death.

like fr its scary

youre four-five years younger than him

so you basically have eight older brothers

nicknamed you smiley bc your smile is the cutest thing ever (and it is)

runs to you calling ‘smiley!!!’

and lifts you off the ground when you hug

he hooks his chin around your shoulder and smells you

you think him smelling you is weird but it isnt

bc according to him you smell like ‘vanilla and lavenders and lemon’

it is so very random but you love it anyways

you two balance each other out so well, in a really weird way tho

like he’s hyper and energetic and sweet

while your active and excited and a little bitter

your insults and comebacks make him cry laugh every time

and you do the same with felix

he will NEVER shut up abt you trust

like seungmin once put him on a ban from talking about you

but he just started texting about you so

taught you taekwando

and now you fight hand to hand against changbin (and win most times)

felix doesnt like it tho bc ‘changbinnie'll get hurt and cry!’

both of your puberty hormones went to your voice box

his got deeper and huskier; yours is silkier and in the middle tone range leaning deep

but its like a rich deep ya know?

when he’s sleepy he starts mumbling random sentences and you record them snd send them to you group chat named ‘skz (-1 sunshine +1 smiley)’

if seungmin thought felix was bad at gaming, youre even worse

most of the time you end up dying

its funny because you started gaming before felix did too

you gave each other sweatshirts for white day in korea

and now your roommate hates when you use it because its so worn down and lowk smelly

jeongin has to beg felix to take it off and put it in the wash

dance parties at random times

especially if you or felix are feeling down

the playlist ‘HOE DANCE DOWN!’ is blasting

consisting of twice, charli xcx, dua lipa, and olivia rodrigo

other artists too and some from jyp bc felix loves his jypnation

not jyp tho anytime felix complains abt the ‘stupid motherfucker who wont shut up and has no talent and too much confidence’

complains ESPECIALLY while yall r playing fortnite, on your request

baking is your shared therapy

felix makes brownies, you make cookies

perfect duo in the kitchen

you bake so often that watching you two is like a dance

members will literally watch you bake and you flip them off

‘LIXIE I GOT FLIPPED OFF AGAIN!’

‘JISUNG STOP BEING A CREEP!!’

rock paper scissors is YOUR thing

like felix will just turn to you and stick his fist out

you also win almost every time

seungmin

you literally have twin telepathy

mainly bc your twins but he is also thirty two minutes older

so, day ones

gatekeeps you from his friends but not the group

because somehow they already knew who you were

you introduced yourself to them the day they debuted

only pretends to be sad abt not being a twin in the group

because he already has you and wouldnt change it for anything

the only person he will not hesitate from skinship is you

pats on the head, chin on shoulder, holding hands, occasional squeezing

his hugs are your safe spot

he’d tap you on the shoulder and take your arm

then he starts massaging you after pulling you into the hug

and it feels so good

and he’s surprisingly good at it too

treats you like a baby bc ur the youngest in you family (by a half hour)

once got you a new phone to stop you from complaining

you think its because he loves you but that is denied every time (its true tho, bc who wouldnt love you?)

only person who can calm you down

when you get too mad

he’ll call you or lay next to you

rub your back until you calm down

if youre on call he’ll put on music and start singing random shit

youre the orange kitty to his golden retriever puppy

you literally paw at him until he gives you his attention

he’ll get excited and its the cutest thing you’ve seen

wakes you up by singing the high note in ‘cover me’ in your ear

ever since he’d recorded that he’s been bragging abt it

but you dont mind bc his singing is nice and you know he would feel the same if you bragged about your fashion designs and website

every day you leave him sweet messages (like his older sister!!)

‘oh seungmo, love your hair today! your smile lit up my room puppy’

in return he sends cute gifs

he also learned french from the i am you tour to swear at you

asks for help in english before events/interviews where english will be used

you were the one who calmed his worries before the paris fashion week

since youre an english and fashion design major he relies on you

he will also never get over the fact that his TWIN is double majoring

your literally jeongin’s favorite tho

bc if seungmin says no you’ll say yes

very very mischevious

if one of you are having a bad day

you’ll just bring the other to a rage room

very effective

jeongin

he’s the maknae of the group and hates getting babied

so he automatically doesn’t baby you

maybe he does a little bit….

but thats because you told him it was okay and you liked it

youre around three years younger than him

so everyone in the group babies you

jeongin is always the first to go and greet you tho

spooks you tho

goes behind your back and yells ‘boo!’ in your ear

he gets punched by you after that

you just tackle him and squeeze him

but he goes ‘oh youve grown so big now!’

he’s also been getting stronger so when he goes into his normal hug where he puts his amrs around and under your armpits, you get squeezed until youre out of breath

on that note

he takes you to the gym bc you’ve been wanting to work out since starting college

he wanted to b your gym buddy (also was scared of u dying bc of asking binnie)

pushes you enough to finish bc he knows ur limits <3

you go to a convinience store after your workouts

both of yall try to pay BUT you make a schedule for who pays

you switch off

innie is extremely proud he made that idea

share a gym playlist

and most of your playlist

bc ur music taste is so similar you end up collabing playlists

you both do daily fit checks

slowly you’ve been able to coax him out of terrible shoe choices

you’ll show him something new and he’ll be like

‘oh is this what all the youngsters are wearing now?’

he busts out these rubber shoes that give you a headache

‘im doing it for stay’ you know stay’s reaction bc u r one

you always show what stays are saying on pinterest and call them simps

but you also cant talk bc, and jeongin quotes this

‘damnn hyunjin looking fine enough to be mine’

but also jeongin constantly uses pick up lines on YOUR friends

if he ever picks you up he’ll turn to someone your hanging out with

‘are you the sun because youre so hot you burn my retinas’

and everyone is just. majorly confused

its his random space obsession showing okay

you went on a planetarium date one time

he talked your ear off and then you bit his ear

retaliation for all the times he’s bit you when he was a wee little one

after that you went shopping

a stay photographed yall starting dating rumors

but its okay bc jeongin addressed it in his lives

telling everyone youre siblings

there is a ten minute video of him cracking up, tears flowing bc of the situation

@chans-muffin i delivered!!!!

[starchildghost]

every word I say is kindling (but the smoke clears when you're around) - a Laudna/Imogen au, chapter 2/3. Also on ao3.

/

Imogen Temult is born in the middle of the night under a brilliantly gleaming red moon. Later, people who hear her tale will say how unlucky the girl was; there were so many pieces that had to fall into place before she was on Exandria to damn her the way she was.

You know, of course, that everything about her birth has been orchestrated; Otohan Thull and Liliana Temult take credit, but you pull their strings. The Ruby Vanguard is a consequence of your actions, after all; they are yours, just as all living beings are in the end.

There is a flash of red and a loud crack of thunder announcing the arrival of the baby amongst her mother’s cries. When the girl takes her first breath of air, there is a flash of bright red lightning, blinding, destined for the hands that hold her - and then, there is a plea, a bargain, that you do not hear; the Ruby Vanguard does not deal in your favors.

It is not Liliana Temult that falls, electrocuted. The baby is unharmed.

Instead, Otohan Thull dies, her plea having found one who will listen to it. The lightning strike had rerouted to her instead. Her final expression is one of triumph, as she falls, singed, to the floor.

Otohan had suspected the Ruby Vanguard wouldn’t get their savior without a price, and she had been more than willing to pay. In the end, neither Liliana nor Imogen had a say, and the girl was raised as Otohan intended: a messiah to release Predathos, all on the back of the ultimate sacrifice.

It is a different childhood than most, spending all of it being adored. Spending all of it in the shadow of a woman who had died the moment she had begun to live. Before the age of five, Imogen loves the world; she loves her mother and the Ruby Vanguard members who dote on her, she loves the colors and sparks she can create with her hands, and she loves the stories they tell her to put her to sleep at night. There are stories of each of the gods, yourself included, and how you don’t care for mortals, but instead fear them, feed off of them, and one day a hero will come to change that; this hero will unleash Predathos, who will take care of all of those evil, nasty gods, and then humans will be able to spend their days reveling in their own magic, in nature, in all of the things that Imogen loves so much. Of course, when they describe the hero to the breathy, sleepy, little girl, she has purple hair and magic of lightning; she will save them.

You bide your time: this part of your plan requires the most patience, the most delicacy. Act too soon and they will become too companionable; you can’t have Imogen think of her as an imaginary friend. You need the tension - you need the tether to be taut. Act too late, and, well, the Ruby Vanguard might just succeed, and then it won’t matter what your machinations may have been.

As Imogen grows, so does her curiosity. She begins to chafe against the adoring cult members; no one will answer the questions she has. She had spent a great deal of years asking her mother or anyone who happened to be caring for her about her father, and never received an answer she found satisfactory. She will never meet him; you had tied a dark blue thread from Imogen to Relvin’s grave long ago. You don’t think she will ever see it.

It wasn’t that Relvin had cared for the girl, exactly. Liliana and Otohan had approached him with their plan, and eventually, he consented. He would aid them in bringing to life the savior of Exandria. He hadn’t been picked because they expected him to be involved or to be a doting father; rather, they thought he had a good bloodline for magic, and they knew he was content to be on his own more than most; he would not go and spread their plan across Exandria, as he didn’t have anyone to tell it to. Still, Otohan hated loose threads, and so Relvin was disposed of.

The Ruby Vanguard didn’t have a delicate way to explain this to a child, so they had collectively elected not to. Relvin Temult may as well have never existed; as far as anyone was concerned, Imogen was Liliana and Otohan’s daughter.

There was the matter, too, of Imogen’s powers growing.

She was no longer a simple child who produced glowing sparks. She grew to be a child whose sparks burnt those they touched; she grew to be a young woman whose very presence could confuse and disorient. Her mother and the rest of her caretakers had stopped touching her; anyone who did so was automatically shocked, regardless of her intentions. Imogen became a young woman who could read the minds of those whose sole purpose was to adore her.

In other words, as Imogen grew, so did her frustration.

She became crafty in her efforts to learn from those who served her; she would mention her father, forcing her chosen victim to think of him, all in an effort to glean information about him from their thoughts. This particular thread she pulled never revealed answers for her - Otohan and Liliana had been careful in their selection; very few of the Ruby Vanguard had ever met the man, and no one other than Otohan, buried beneath a lightning-struck stump, knew what had become of him.

This is not to say Imogen did not learn more than the Ruby Vanguard wanted her to. She was adept at getting to places they did not want her; she was pushy and searched in their heads for inklings of the world outside their encampment. A girl hidden in the hayloft, listening to the thoughts of her appointed companion she’d run off from as he exasperatedly searched for her - to him, she was a nuisance, not a savior, and she relished in it. He’d been selected by her mother to remind her of her place and to show her how lowly her status would be at her age without Liliana. He was a sleepy boy who was meant to bring her supper and never to speak to her, dreaming as he dozed in the sun - she had pushed into his dreams as long as he lived. He spent his childhood as just a normal boy, not as their messiah, and he got to read whatever he wanted and go fishing and see the world outside of Gelvaan and come home after a journey to a meal cooked by his mother and her relieved hug.

Imogen never pushed him the way she did the rest of the Ruby Vanguard; she was afraid to break him, to break the childhood she never had gotten to possess but relished seeing it through him.

The attendants who watched her, however, were a different story. Their minds were weak and, to Imogen, they were nothing special. Some of them couldn’t even bear to stand near her; even if she didn’t push into their thoughts, they became woozy, their heads unable to take the energy that poured out of her. She took a savage glee whenever one of these Ruby Vanguard members was assigned to her. They never knew anything that mattered, to Imogen, but their minds were free for her to rifle through up until they lost consciousness. From them, she got flashes of real lives - less powerful ones, sure, but she got to see the ocean, waves rippling out over a shore as the sun bounced off of them, each refracting into a hundred different colors; she got to feel the memory of someone’s lips pressing against hers, a shadow of a memory but one she clung to; she saw all sorts of people, surely significant to the person whose mind she was invading but to her, it was just magical to see all sorts of expressions on all sorts of faces: colorful tieflings juggling and laughing as they partook in a circus, an aasimar glowing with a holy light as she prayed at a temple, a little black kenku grinning and bearing a knife - all of them different, all of them new. Without fail, before her target collapsed, Imogen would see what brought the person to the Ruby Vanguard - financial ruin, the loss of a loved one driving them to the desperate, someone who was sick and tired of their prayers to the gods falling on deaf ears; rarely, very rarely, someone who truly believed in Imogen, believed that the world Predathos would bring about would be a better one.

It is difficult to spend your entire life on a pedestal; and, it turns out, it is absolutely, devastatingly boring.

“I don’t understand,” Imogen says to her mother, lightning crackling through her clenched fists, "why you won’t let me go see the world! If I’m to save it, shouldn’t I be able to see what’s so worth saving?”

Liliana doesn’t respond right away, instead merely quirks her eyebrow at the young woman across the desk. “You will see all of it,” her voice isn’t loud, but it has a firm edge to it. “After it’s ours.”

Imogen closes her eyes, tries to remember the wonder of being a little girl strolling through the fields of flowers that surround her now. Tries to remember the childhood wonder of being told that she will do important things, that she is important, that she exists to be loved. Remembers that Otohan Thull, living legend, chose to die for her own sake (for Liliana’s sake). “That’s just it, though.” Imogen’s teeth are grit, as she airs the thought that’s been brewing in her for most of her life. “It won’t be ours. It will be yours. I didn’t ask to save anyone.”

Liliana’s hand raises before she’s even aware of it - she goes to strike Imogen across the cheek but before she gets close, she’s thrown back against the wall by psychic power. Imogen doesn’t say a word; she turns and exits the house and allows today’s short straw Ruby Vanguard member to follow her.

Not yet.

/

Laudna has not spent the last twenty-odd years idle; if she is going to be undead for the rest of time, she’s figured she might as well make the most of it. Sometimes this means negotiating with the evil sorceress who killed her and lives in her brain (heart? her very soul?), but Laudna made her peace with that many years ago.

It’s made her strong and clever, these years with only herself and Delilah (and, to perhaps only Laudna’s delight, the creature she’s created using the skull you left her and named Pâté). She has developed a sixth sense, that of a peculiar sort of balance as she weighs the world, her comfort, her wants, the way she still seeks beauty after everything she’s been through, and Delilah Briarwood. The string you tied between the pair has thickened, its color still the purple of Delilah’s magic, and it’s wound tightly around Laudna’s throat.

The girl works for and against Delilah as it benefits her; their relationship has become mutualistic, though it understandably remains fraught. Delilah keeps her powerful, teaches her new spells; Delilah gives her strong enough magic to hide from those who would hunt her for what she is and magic to fight them when hiding fails.

Laudna, despite what Delilah thinks, is not dull; she has grown quite remarkable since she came to life in a noose. She gives Delilah power enough to fuel them both, runs enough of Delilah’s errands collecting resources that the sorceress thinks the girl is under her thumb entirely, but Laudna knows what sources of power to avoid to keep the sorceress from truly gaining her full potential again. This is how she marches solidly along, all the while maintaining her sixth sense of balance.

It is Delilah’s idea, in the end, to seek out the Ruby Vanguard.

“Who are they?” Laudna asks aloud, frowning. She quite likes this spot; she hasn’t seen another person for days, so she doesn’t need to pay attention to Delilah - her magic is unnecessary. She’s lounging by a lake, her black skirts cleaned and hung up to dry as she twists at some twine she intends to use to hang little animal bones from. In addition to being pretty, she’s confident hikers or other people who find themselves in this wood would be warded away by the bones, thus prolonging her idleness. She may have developed and honed her sixth sense; she is not thrilled to have to constantly be on edge and utilizing it.

She can practically hear Delilah sneer in her head. “Fools who think they’ll be able to snuff out the gods.” Laudna diplomatically does not mention that Delilah herself thought she would be able to ascend a new god. “Their aims don’t matter to us. They’ve managed to accumulate quite a massive amount of power, little bird. Power that is ripe for the taking.”

Laudna doesn’t respond right away, stilling her hands and gazing out over the lake. The sun beats down and she feels warm, quite the luxury for a walking corpse. There are fish jumping out towards the middle, each twisting and hovering in the air, flashing rainbow for just a second, before splashing back in. If she refuses, Delilah will likely get irate, which is, at best, physically uncomfortable for Laudna. It’s not as if she needs air or her heart to beat to keep on going, but she does rather like them, and Delilah cutting them off is quite annoying. If she agrees, it’s possible Delilah will actually collect whatever power these cultists have assembled and achieve her aims. Laudna has a loose grasp on them at best; sometimes it seems as if Delilah is collecting enough power to wherever she is (does Laudna contain a pocket dimension large enough to house an undead evil woman?) to return to the material plane; sometimes, when Delilah is struck by the grief that seems to drive her more than anything else, it seems she’s simply searching for the man she had loved and lost a few times over.

Either way, Laudna’s come to the conclusion that Delilah achieving her aims is bad for Exandria, and despite everything, Laudna quite likes Exandria. Her hands have never learned to heal, not like her mother’s, but they’ve become quite adept at creating and mending. Her greatest service to the world, she thinks, is to continue on the way she has; if Delilah is stuck with Laudna, she is not committing great evil acts, and therefore, Laudna is helping the world.

“All right,” she sighs and stands, brushing dirt off her legs as she begins to gather her skirts. “Where are they?”

Not yet.

/

It turns out, listening to Delilah and going to see the Ruby Vanguard was a wonderful decision, Laudna thinks. She had never dreamed of riding on an airship before. She hadn’t even had to stow away! Delilah was agreeable because Laudna had set off so quickly, and so Laudna was able to stand on the deck and watch the world pass by down below, completely shielded from the prying eyes of others by Delilah’s magic.

Laudna had been careful, all these years, never to let on how much power she possesses all on her own. If balance was her sixth sense, this was her seventh: a deep knowledge of the sorceress whose soul was entwined with hers. If you didn’t know better, you’d have assumed that Laudna could see Exandria as you could; it’s as if she sees the tethers that bind people, particularly her own.

There were some passengers that were unconscious below deck, their trinkets stowed safely amidst Laudna’s bags, having been pointed out by Delilah as enchanted and therefore potentially of use in the coming days. Laudna had listened without much deliberation; they could afford to be passengers on a skyship - really, she’d probably given them a gift. Everyone loves having a story to tell. Perhaps they’d concoct a tale of a ghost - she had made sure they hadn’t seen her. A haunted skyship! Now isn’t that exciting?

Besides, it was extremely of interest to Laudna to keep Delilah happy. Keep her occupied.

Not yet.

/

You take your time to gauge Imogen. She’s fuming - the Ruby Vanguard member who followed her did so out of duty, but they are increasingly regretting their choice. They would love, desperately, to move away from the rampaging woman, but her powers have them stunned, clutching their skull, curled on the ground. Imogen hasn’t even noticed (wouldn’t be able to do anything if she did).

They had made it a fair distance from the Ruby Vanguard’s center of operations - this was about as far as Imogen has ever been allowed to wander. Lightning sparks off of her in waves, frying the vegetation that dares to have grown near where she stopped stomping away from camp. In a way, the crippling psychic energy pouring off of her saves the life of the attendant on the ground, who would have otherwise been electrocuted.

There is a mountain in the distance that her eyes keep falling on. This has always been Imogen’s horizon - the very edge of her world. She has never seen the view from the top, never climbed it.

She could go. Should go, she thinks. Leave them behind, to their red end. She takes a breath.

Her mother waits for her, back in the encampment. There is a stump struck by lightning marking a grave that waits for her, back in the encampment. Hundreds of Ruby Vanguard wait for her, wait for their savior. The lightning turns to sparks, turns to nothing. Imogen turns around and begins walking back, to her mother. To her fate. To your fate.

Now.

You reach for Imogen’s wrist, tie a red thread around it. You grab Laudna’s on the deck of the skyship, and tie the other end there. Their tether gets no slack - it is as tight as you can make it.

[purpledisastertwin900]

ROTTMNT headcanons bc they are legal and true

- Leo is ambidextrous

- Donnie is also ambidextrous, but only because he stayed up one night and taught himself so Leo wouldn’t be better than him at something.

- Raph is a really big sandwich guy, and has a bit of a hobby of making really good sandwiches, especially grilled ones. He specializes in grilled cheese, and can make over 15 types and counting

- Even tho he’s an artist, Mikey absolutely LOATHES chalk pastel. He hates it. So easy to mess up with and so hard to fix

- Leo is very much a skincare girlie, but not so much because he cares about the appearance of his skin, more because the routine of practicing skin care and being present helps him relax, especially when he’s having a rough sleep night.

- Splinter learned how to do his stage makeup out of spite, no I won’t elaborate bc I don’t really know. He just did but he won’t tell me why.

- As he spends more time with the boys, Draxum keeps a list of all the times he and one of the boys bonded bc it makes him feel better and like he’s making progress.

- Donnie is a *really* good singer

- Leo is also a really good singer, but he’s almost never singing with the intent to enjoy the song, he’s only singing to annoy someone.

- When the boys were younger, they would have Couch Wars, and it would start with two of them sitting on two ends of the couch doing their own thing and as time went on, they would subconsciously move more toward the middle until the inevitable “get out of my space!!” Argument. What they would then do is use their legs to kick and SLAM each other until someone gave up or got hurt, or until the noise got so loud splinter would beg them to stop (this one is based off me and my older brother and twin lmao)

- Mikey can do an excellent Australian accent

- One time Raph was woken up from a nap and was asked to help do chores, and he was so sleepy and distraught that he cried.

- Leo is a bookworm and has read entire books in one day

- Donnie made everyone design and practice their signatures bc he just did.

[fuwaprince]

I'm in a terribly dark place after coming home. Sad and tired. Angry. I'm sorry for speaking about my life again. I wish I could post without bothering anybody

I went out last night with the same old dude for a cig run. I thanked him for making time for me and gave him some of the frosted brownies that my stomach couldn't handle eating. I wanted to make it as worth it for him as possible since I know people's help is usually conditional. The brownie offering wasn't enough for him. He wanted more.

I had already been crying all day and night and just wanted to leave the house for a break. Just wanted something to change since I was basically rotting away in bed. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Anybody's company would do. I reach out online often for strangers that want to meet for a once time distraction.

When I make it to the gas station, I get two sodas. One for me and one for him. The girl cleaning the drink machines who is also the girl working the register was so sleepy and exhausted that I had to help her check out my items. She looked at me like she was struggling and she could clearly see the struggle that I was going through by looking at my face. I told her, "enjoy the rest of your shift" and she told me that she really appreciates that and to have a safe night. Seeing her was the best part of my whole damn day honestly. She kept apologizing for being tired and I just kept saying "no, thank you for everything you do", "thank you for working", "thank you for being here". It meant something to hear her wish me safety.

I go back to the guy's car and we drive to some empty lot so that I can smoke a cig. He kept relentlessly trying to force me to touch him, as per usual, by guiding me with his hands and pulling me into him while I'm standing. It was so annoying and forceful. I kept saying no angrily, stepping away and dancing around him with my lit cig to avoid being touched... After a long fucking time and many failed attempts at trying to force me, it was enough to get him to stop. Glad that I didn't play the role he had in mind but I don't enjoy the consequences either.

I thought about my ex who is the only other person irl who sometimes gives me rides. One time he dropped me off and told me things like "I COULD be like them" "I COULD take advantage of you" as if he's doing me a favor by not. Thanks ex of mine, that's so sweet of you to not violate me!

Guy who just got rejected again cried a bunch next to me and mumbled shit under his breath for the rest of the night. Said maybe he should leave then which reminds me of the time he suggested that he should care less because I didn't let him touch me during a car ride that I asked for in the middle of the night.

He gives backhanded ass comments all night long about how maybe I'll finally do something for myself and work harder to live the life most privileged people such as himself just get born into. He tried randomly bringing up how he saw screenshots of texts I sent to my mom that weren't very kind. I'm not sure why. He just wanted to spite me for not complying.

PS I would say that shit to her face in front of anybody and everybody. I would post it on my blog. I don't give a fuck. I don't take any of it back. She failed as a mother of two. She abused a dog to death. She failed to protect me, denied me a relationship with my birth dad and his whole family, lied that her most recent husband was my father and let him abuse me all my fucking life. She didn't even tell me my race out of shame and groomed me to hate "Spanish" people (she's too afraid to say Mexican, idk why). I would've never found out if I wasn't so damn persistent to find out why her stories don't add up. She sabotaged the benefits I was depending on in hopes I starved to death. Literally. Fuck her. When I called her crying that my ex had broken my bones and left me with a bloody face, she told me I was a liar and made sure to tell everyone else I was a liar too (despite my ex OPENLY ADMITTING TO BEING VIOLENT TOWARDS ME. I had to beg him to tell them it was true. She and her friend's whole family still call me a liar). She denied me being raped as a child. She acted like me calling CPS would ruin the family the day I threatened to without really knowing what CPS was. Her husband was going to choke me if I didn't. My mom has done FUCKED UP SHIT. FORCED ME TO LIE AND PRETENDED HER DENTURES BROKE TO GET MONEY FROM HER FAMILY MEMBERS SO SHE COULD FUEL A GAMBLING ADDICTION INSTEAD OF USING IT TO PAY FOR US TO HAVE MORE THAN JUST EGGS AND RICERONI DURING THE 2008 RECESSION. She forged my signature to move me schools when I gained the courage to tell a counselor at my highschool about the abuse when I was a freshman. She told me I was a liar and that I never got raped after the doctor whispered to her during an appointment that my fucking child hymen was broken and asked if she knew why. She told me to lie for her and to protect her husband so that he would still pay for the house he would eventually kick me out of. She said they'd take my brother and I and split us apart into different foster homes if I did and I would never see him again. She threw belts at me on my birthday. She took a whole rack of belts that her husband had in the closet and angrily threw them on top of my crying body on my 18th birthday. She said "you want to hang yourself? Here! Hope this helps!". She left me waiting after school until 9pm regularly. Telling me not to come home even though it was only across the bridge and down a few easily walkable streets. She told me I would get raped if I did. She'd ignore my calls from the payphone because I didn't have a phone growing up. She told me it was because I didn't deserve one and I would use it to talk crap about her. She said that's the same reason she didn't give me braces "why would I fix your ugly teeth? You use them to talk shit about me". She threw knives at me and my little bro when I was 7. She would tear down the whole house, pack it into a box and LEAVE without telling anybody where for so long. My brother and I would cry. And if we went to our grandma's house or knocked on the neighbor's door, we would get punished for "bringing our problems to other people". My mom has done horribly fucked up shit. She would attack me and rip apart all my belongings. All the art I was proudly posting on my empty walls. She'd destroy whatever I put up in her routine attacks. Then she would leave me crying to clean her mess after unplugging the home phones and leaving. I was too young to figure out why they wouldn't work and I remember being so desperate to call my elementary school friends for help. When I told them what happened, she would tell them that I was a liar seeking attention and not to listen to me. When I told people I was suicidal, she told them I was spoiled and fine because I had both my parents (I didn't). I didn't have lights in my bedroom until I was in my senior year of highschool. When I lost my baby, she said God punished me because I'm bad.

He asked if I would share a place with him again and I told him it's polite to offer but no because I don't want to commit suicide from being mistreated in another shitty home situation where if I don't abide by people's every command, they kick me out on my ass... Which is exactly what would happen. I'm not trying to be owned, trapped as a sex slave and threatened to be thrown back onto the streets if I don't play the role he casts onto me. I don't consent to it. Not gonna happen. People who don't understand the situation will tell me that I'm choosing to be miserable by not accepting his offer. People like his mother will say I'm a "bad woman" for not just marrying her entitled brat. That's who she is. She lies to people saying I threaten her and that I'm crazy nowadays. She tried showing off some screenshots of texts that I sent her. I hope anybody who judges me based on a few angry texts know that they're part of the problem.

I'm back home now. I don't want to exist. I don't want to be. I really wish somebody would smoke me out so that I can pass out in bed and hopefully not wake up crying tomorrow morning. I'm coping how I can. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to be here. I'm so desperate to escape my situation but all my opportunities to leave are actually just worse options. I wish I had SOMEBODY here who actually wanted good for me. I feel like I don't have anyone.

Thank you again for following my shitty life story. I'm sorry for being so sad. Things aren't fine. I just want life to be okay

[rains-inky-mind]

15 Questions But Make It Unhinged™️

Tagged by @sleepyowlwrites, Sleepy friend. Noticing that my unhinged, you actually meant we get to skip question number four. There's only 14 questions lol.

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, sadly. Would've been cool to be named after my dad, cause then I would've been "the third", but I'm a female so that was a no-go. Sadly.

Instead my name literally means "Laurel tree Ash tree Laurel field"...so that's...nature-y. (Also why I clung to the nickname my father gave me.)

2. When was the last time you cried?

This evening. My husband put on Up and before it even started I told him I was going cry. I lost it when Ellie was painting the nursery, then when she was in the doctors office, because who wouldn't?? I did laugh at the cloud babies though, because wth??

3. Do you have kids?

Serious for a second. I have two angel babies that I lost to miscarriage.

I also have a healthy, happy, overactive toddler. She's perfect, but in the way that she'll drive you crazy and you never get to sit down.

4. Sports?

I played Soccer as a child. I hated it and had horrid anxiety. My team literally nicknamed me "Bellyache". Like, that's what my team trophy said. Needless to say I quit after one season.

The only sport I'm into these days is seeing how late I can stay up before my eyes physically won't stay open.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Vibes. It's all vibes. Especially being into weird stuff and weird aesthetics and being neurodivergent—if we don't vibe, we don't interact.

6. What's your eyecolor?

My eye colour depends on my mood, my outfit, the weather, etc. They're mostly blue, but can be grey or green as well. Depends on various factors.

Not my eyes, but a cool thing about my husband's eyes, they're the most awesome eyes I've ever seen. They are blue/green and have a yellow ring around the inner part of his eye. It's really cool and super pretty. His eyes also turn green when he lies, so that's dope.

7. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

I love 80s Horror movies. They make the best comedies. I can't watch scary horror movies though. I enjoy them in the moment, but they give me severe anxiety that builds up and causes non-verbal panic attacks in the middle of the night. So that's not fun.

I also don't really care about happy endings. Yeah, they're nice and most of the time they tie everything up neatly with a bow—but I like endings that you don't see coming from a mile away. I like twist endings. I like when the guy doesn't get the girl. I like when the goal MC has been chasing for the whole movie isn't realized and there's heartbreak.

8. Any special talents?

None that really come to mind. Unless being clumsy is a talent? Falling up the stairs. Tripping over flat surfaces. Pushing doors that say "pull" and vice-versa.

No, wait, I do have one special talent. I'm too short to drive most cars comfortably. Most of my husband's trucks (he's owned three, I think, since we started dating until now) I haven't been able to drive. Even my own car, it's comfortable, I can reach the pedals, but the dash is kinda tall (there's a hump on the driver's side) that I sometimes struggle to see things too close infront of me.

9. Where were you born?

In the same hospital that my husband would be born in a month later. One of many, many hospitals in my large city.

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, crocheting, drawing, making graphics—we could be here all night. Pretty much whatever my special interest is at the moment defines what my hobbies are at a given time.

11. Do you have pets?

I do not.

I would love to have a cat. A soft little mew mew to creep around and claw up the furniture. I'd name it something like Poe or Cherrio or Midnight. But alas, I'm allergic.

I would also love to have a dog, but I'd want a specially trained one for my various health issues. It would also have to do well with kids. As much as I'd like one, I can't afford one and I think I'm allergic to dogs as well. I'm a woman of many allergies.

12. How tall are you?

Well this one depends on who you ask. Since I was twelve years old ever doctor that I go to tells me something different, but always within the range of 5'1"—5'2" with the outlier being the very strange doctor who informed me I was 5'3", which I know is wrong. I like to just go with 5'1". I'm short and I enjoy it. I wouldn't wish to be tall.

It does have its disadvantages though, especially around my husband's family. Their heights range from 6' to 6'6" and his grandfather was 7'. Plus he's one of seven brothers. My short self gets lost in the crowd of tall ass guys.

13. Favourite subject in school?

MATH. I freakin' loved math. Since I was a kid it's always been my favourite subject. One of my friends as an adult teased me, telling me that only autistic people favored math and numbers—the joke being that I found out I was autistic a few months later.

14. Dream job?

I would love be the the Old Lady Who Lived in the Shoe™️. Joking, joking. I would love to own my own bakery. To make fresh cakes and cookies and breads daily. If my body wasn't so run down at the old age of 23, I may shoot for it one day—But even as it stands now, to make one batch of cupcakes takes me most of the day and I can't move the next day. Tis life's cruel joke.

Tagging: @lyra-brie @another-white-hole @delilahsdaydream @epnona-the-wisp

[pbandjesse]

I am back in the print shop. For another night of events. I have it on my schedule but this was till 9:00 but apparently when we here till 8:00. That's nice. I did get here a couple minutes late because people are dumb. And I got cut off on the highway and missed my exit. But even though today was very busy it was a good day and I got some Christmas shopping done. So that was really positive.

When I got home last night I was exhausted. The last hour or so of the event was kind of dead. But I talked to some really nice people as they were leaving. And gave out my last prints and everyone was so excited. But I was really glad to get James home.

When we got back there I went to put everything away and feed all the animals. James took the recycling out. I took a shower. And then we went to bed. We were up for a little while talking. But we were both beat.

James woke me up a few times last night. But it was not a big deal. I knew I was going to be able to sleep in an extra 2 hours and I really needed that. So when I did wake up I didn't feel as awful. I did not feel great. But I did feel at least sort of human.

James had already left for work. And while I hate that they still had to go in so early, I don't think I would have been okay waking up and going when they had to leave. I was not doing great I was so sleepy.

But the extra sleep helped and when I got out of the house I felt pretty good. I stopped for breakfast. And got to work on time.

We had a homeschool group. And they ended up being lovely. I don't know about the other grades but my Pre-K and kindergarten group was so nice. There was one baby sibling who cried a lot but whatever. The other kids were really nice and very sweet, though they were very very shy.

Lauren was good to train. I thought it was a little strange that we were training her on little girls because we do them so infrequently right now. But it'll be good for her to be able to jump into them when we do have them. So I told her how to do the programs and we set everything up. And once the kids were ready to go we jumped right into it. My timing was really good on the first program. They did a really good job in the print shop when they had to work on the proof press. And then we had lunch. During lunch Lauren's boyfriend came by with food for her but she didn't know he was going to be there so she had already gone and bought food. And they were very sweet to each other. We all got a good laugh out of the miscommunication though.

And she apparently lives in our neighborhood and takes the bus here. And I think that's unacceptable. We are going to communicate and figure out when we have overlapping schedules so that she doesn't have to take a 40 minute bus to the museum. Not worth it. Unless she really wants to take the bus. Back when I had to take the bus all the time sometimes I just liked having that time to myself. And I won't force it on her.

After lunch the kids had a movie to watch and there was some confusion about the DVD player. There's three remote controls and none of the play buttons worked but it turns out you didn't hit the play button you hit plus sign in the middle of one of the smaller remotes. So I had to go get Mike for help to figure that out. But then I just chilled and talked to James and poked around the museum. James got me a piece of pizza from 7-Eleven. And then it was time for our last program.

Lids, the one where the kids decorate a label for a can, always has timing issues. It does not take a full hour. And one of the bigger issues is that some of the kids are just too little to really sit down and design a label. So it's just scribly scrabbles. Which is very cute but then I have half an hour left of the program and I don't know what to do with it.

The nice thing about homeschool groups though is that when the kids are done the program individually they can just go. So I told the parents that if they wanted to leave once the kids were done coloring that was not a big deal. I put their cans together and made it very special for every single one of them. And I told them that once everyone was done I was going to read a story. And four of them stayed behind. Which is about half of the kids that came today so I didn't mind at all. And they were really quiet and enjoyed the story that we read about dragons.

Afterwards we finish cleaning up. Lauren and me grabbed the boxes and put them away. And then we had to figure out what supplies to do.

I went upstairs and did the last oysters. Me and Lauren had already cut out some vegetables during the kids coloring time so we didn't need any of those. I had Lauren cut fabric for rags in the print shop from the stuff I brought. Because I really didn't want to do it and she said she likes cutting fabric. Then I went up and bothered James for a little bit. I told them that I felt bad that I wasn't taking them home. But I really wanted to go for a drive and go find Christmas presents. And they told me they already had a ride and for me not to feel bad. Then I should go have fun.

So a little bit before 3:00 I left here and I drove over to value village. Where I had great luck and I thought not only a very cute Christmas beanie baby bear. I also found a toy from my childhood that are these mini bears like Polly pockets. A whole bag of them and their accessories. I don't even know what they're called. I hope I can figure it out because I love them so much. And I got gifts. They're mostly silly but a couple of them are really functional. And I got more blanket fabric for my workshop tomorrow. Because I want to have them use stuff that has very low pile but is still very soft. And I only had two colors so now we at least have black and white as well.

So I felt great after that and it was still early so I was like I'm going to go to five guys. And I went and got my five guys and I ate in the car and I realized I still had a lot of time and if I left right then I would be a half an hour early. And so I decided I'm going to go walk around Target. And I ended up finding a really good Christmas gift while I was there. And so I went to wait in line with my two items and the person in front of me had an entire cart full of stuff at the self checkout. Which I hate when people do. At the grocery store is one thing, but at Target is ridiculous.

But I didn't have to wait more than five or six minutes and then I paid and I left.

But then people were stupid and cut me off and made me miss my exit so I got here a couple minutes late. Not that Angie cared. And so far I'm having a great time. I asked the people if there was something specific they would like me to make on the chase because this is not a wedding like I thought it was going to be. It's a college and I think a sponsor? I'm not really sure but they were so excited and so I made a bunch of those and now I'm waiting for the people to come. I think the doors open at 6:00. But there's a couple people milling about right now that are part of the organizing staff. And everyone's really nice. I hope it's a good rest of the night.

Anything I write after this is going to be at the end of the night.

And now I am heading home from the museum! It was a really fun night. A lot of people wanting to know how many times I was going to say the exact same script over and over and over again which was pretty funny to me but I had a great time.

I did a lot of printing and talked a lot. People were great though and had great questions and were really engaged. The event was really funny though I thought it was going to be much different. It was college kids and high school kids and it was like mingling. I had some wonderful conversations with people though. People that were really excited about printing and history. And that was just lovely. And at the end I got to give the last of my prints to someone who worked with the school who was just really jazzed about it and that felt good.

And and the caterers gave me and Aubrey plates of very good food at the end. I wasn't really hungry because I had had dinner at like 4:00. But the thought was really kind. And I had the mac and cheese and it was good. But now I am very excited to go home.

I have a lot to do for my workshop tomorrow. Even if I only have six people. I think we're doing it in the garment loft. Which is fine except it's a little dark. So depending if they're adults or kids will see where we stay. What I think I'm going to do is just come in with James early and set everything up and then just chill. Or it might just date me really long time to set up. I'm prepared either way. I'm going to bring both of my sewing machines that I have at home right now. And the fabric I got today, and the fabric I collected from my storage the other day. And then I have three patterns. They're all basically the same but they have different little quirks. And I got to make sure I grab my examples as well. I did make a sort of PowerPoint but I'm probably not going to bother printing it because I just don't think it's very good. It's just enough to be a visual. Maybe I'll have Annie email it to them afterwards. And if I have time in the morning I'll add a couple more things about the best stitches I think they should use. But I'm not really that concerned about it all in all.

Now that I'm on my way home. And then I'm going to take a shower. Make sure everything's collected. And then I'm going to bed. I hope I don't get a second wind of energy. Because I'm really tired and very thirsty. So I might just have some juice and a glass of water to get some rest.

Tomorrow is my workshop, and then I'm going to sleep for the rest of the day. And then I don't have to do anything until Monday when I take James to the doctor. I am going to need to make my chocolate orange dessert for Monday's holiday party. But that isn't that big of a deal. I might at some point go and pick up the ingredients for that. I'm still not 100 when I'm doing so maybe on Sunday I'll make a test run.

I hope that you all sleep great tonight and you take care of yourself. And you don't work too hard and make yourself go crazy. It's good night everybody.

[unablethethird]

you know the usual

hehe

1- I got no freckles 2-I drink tea, hate coffee cause it's bitter. Tea usually makes me sleepy,, 3-Last song i listened to? lemme check

If i die, you better say rip /silly

don't usually listen to this stuff,,,,but vibe was right 4- How do i sleep? I usually sleep in what my sister likes to call 'the baby position' lol [side] 5-Do i sleep with a stuffed animal? Usually, now they under the bed though [im too lazy to pick it up 🔥🔥🔥] 6-Do i prefer writing or drawing? Too tired to do either but drawing,,, 7-answered this in another ask! 8-also answered this in another ask! 9-27/11/09 is mah birthday 10-How tall am i? FRIGGIN 160CM >:[ [wait i think i answered this one too-] 11-My eye color is dark brown [aka black but technically no eye color is black] 12-assuming this question is about real hugs I'd rather jump off a building then hug anyone irl 13-Fears?

Most people, getting found out on anything 14- my favorite color is red, purple, black, pastel yellow, and orange

15-answered this in another ask! 16-I want to tattoo a sleeve or two, not sure what it'd be though 17-Got ear piercings i fuggin hate, dont want any tbh 18-Last person i texted would be my sister on discord lol 19- Dunno about yaya anymore, but probably you, and i think we started being friends this year 20- I miss H a lot, im litterally aroace asf, but she's,,,,, >< getting back together would mean my irl friends dont hang around w me anymore tho so idk 21- My day today was :P 22-Idk how much sleep i got lol 23-I believe in aliens by technicality, cus even like germs or micro-organisms we dont know of are aliens, so like,, 24-The last time i cried Today lol, my mum was being mean and i was already rlly frustrated,, 25-Dont got one fav decade

CONTINUING ANSWERING THIS AFTER A BREAK 26-Childish stuff i like? cant think of anything, maybe plushies but i know a bunch of people who got way more than me and i think it's pretty normal, but idk 27- My favorite book Really really really hard to answer just one SO TOP THREE- Girl in pieces [I FUCKING BAWLED MY EYES OUT I FUCKING AAAA] The outsiders [ALSO CRIED. IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS [w a buncha my classmates lol since it was for school], THAT FUCKING ENDING. if you read any book, you gotta try this, bucketlist potential] That was then, this is now [okay so to be honest i think i just like it because it was writen by S.E hinton, who wrote the outsiders, but like,,,,it's good. Thinking back though it was kinda mid but at the time i read it, i thought it was good so yeah,,,probably would only reccomend this if your a fan of the outsiders] 28-How am i really? Can't tell what im feeling right now, but probably a good feeling 29-Does it take me a long time to make decisions? Not really, if you give me a day to make a decision i'll make it in a day, if you give me a year i'll take a year, so depends on how much time i'm given 30-What am i looking forward to in the near future? camp!! Going there next thursday

31-What am i looking forward to in the distant future? Leaving home, transitioning, and studying psychology 32-If i could be anywhere rn, where would i wanna be? Arcade,,, 33-Sleep with door open or closed? I sleep with my door closed, my mum doesn't let me close the door at all but i wait till she sleeps and claim the wind dun it or something 34-My favorite flower is the chrysanthemum! 35-no idea what a squish is 36-My middle name is bassically "House of [dads name]", i dont hate it or anything but its kinda just there. 37- cats over dogs but i leik dogs 38- Do i have any phobias? haphephobia, trypanophobia, and hemophobia [ironically lol] [[hemophobia for me though is a bit complicated,,]] 39-Do i stay up late? Not really 40-Do i like the beach? Do i prefer it sunny or cloudy? Hate the beach. Australian beaches are the fucking worst. I hate blue bottles with all of my fucking heart. THAT SHIT IS PAINFUL I prefer sunny weather generally but i would never go to a beach 41-My favorite cartoon would be murder drones, TADC, and hazbin maybe but i stopped watching it 42- Moots,,, 43- I got 2 younger sisters 44-Last person i said i love you too would be you lol

45-I'd die for anyone just let me die /hj 46-What do i do when im sad? Pain meds, listen to music, cry, and get stuck in my head lol 47-Dont got a phone number Ik my mums tho ig 48-Who can i trust with my life? You 49-

[it's my sisters birthday lol]

[sleepylostboy]

15 + 1 question tag game, thank you @emo-mmy for the tag <33

1. Are you named after anyone? Not with my first name, but my middle name is also my dad’s name

2. When was the last time you cried? A few days ago

3. Do you have any kids? Hellll no lol

4. What sports do you play / have you played? When I was a kid I played baseball and then basketball. That was a looong time ago though

5. Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, not as much as I used to probably

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? How tall they are I guess

7. What’s your eye color? Brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, just cause I get scared easily (and I don’t have anyone to hold me 🙄)

9. Any talents? Umm not really

10. Where were you born? Oklahoma, U.S.

11. What are your hobbies? Umm video games, watching shows or youtube, and sleeping mostly

12. Do you have any pets? My family has 3 cats, 1 dog, and 2 mice

13. How tall? 5’9 / 175 cm

14. Favorite subject in school? Physics!

15. Dream job? When I was younger it was being an astronaut. But now I just wanna be someone’s pet

(+1) Favorite piece of clothing? I got a hoodie blanket for Christmas and it’s already become my favorite. I’m always cold all the time and it’s so warm and comfy 🥰

I’m shy about the tagging part, so I hope all you lovely people don’t hate me for tagging you :3

@puregfd @localidiot-m @magical-girl-mommy @whydoyouthinktheycallmeghostie @s-uccubus-mommy @the-sad-catgirl-diary @sleepy-sub

No pressure to do it of course, only if you wanna <3

15 (+1) questions tag game ~ Thank you for tagging me @blushingguy ˚₊‧꒰ა ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

1. Are you named after anyone? no

2. When was the last time you cried? yesterday

3. Do you have kids? a cute little princess

4. What sports do you play/ Have you played? basketball and volleyball

5. Do you use sarcasm? sometimes

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? tone of voice, mannerisms, eyes/eye contact, nonverbal actions/cues

7. What’s your eye color? brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings

9. Any talents? i can play trumpet and piano-sorta

10. Where were you born? ~

11. What are your hobbies? listening to music, reading manga/manhwa/novels, painting, drawing, crafting, writing poetry, photography, etc…

12. Do you have any pets? a cute little princess

13. How tall? 162.56cm/5’4

14. Favorite subject in school? art, music, oceans and atmosphere, astronomy

15. Dream job? something along the lines of a creative director. I want to help people but I also want to do so in a creative way.

16. In place of #10: What reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)? warm sunny days with a cool breeze, genuine/wholehearted laughing, goofy pictures, silly jokes, running up/down a hill, using a swing in the park, going to the library… anything that’s nostalgic and reminds me of happy childhood times/memories tbh…

I tag: @fivefancyarrows, @notsospecialafterall , @fresh-afterlife, @thrashedparticle , @theuwuafterhours , @lil-bbybun , @loveapocalyps , @rikoxxlv , @equaly @shoujoking @dantexxorihara + anyone else who wants to do it! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[buttersmama]

COMFORT

Choi soobin x m!reader

Summary: y/n comforting a sad soobin

Or

Soobin and y/n being the cutest couple.

Tw: angst, fluff

Word count: 4k+

Soobin was on his way to his boyfriend's apartment for some alone time. The day was hectic that day, with too many variety shows and practice for their songs.

His body was tired, aching everywhere. Still, he continued on his way home. Home where his y/n was. Though he wanted to be alone for the night, he wouldn't mind if y/n was with him. Which sounded way better than going back to the dorm surrounded by his noisy friends.

He stopped the car near y/n's apartment. Soobin knocked on the door, hearing some shuffling behind it until y/n opened the door himself. Soobin rushed forward taking him in a prolonged embrace. Y/n just smiled and walked backwards pulling him in and kicking the door close. Fully aware of his idol image.

"hmm? what brings little soobin here" y/n asked playfully. He received no reply though, not that he expected any. He knew soobin would be like this every time he was tired, tired of his idol life. He knew how much of a toll it took on soobin's mental and physical health.

M/n slowly ran his fingers through the latter's hair patting his back with the other. Soobin in turn hugged him a little harder.

This is why soobin loved y/n, he just knows how to make him relax, how to ease him, how to take care of him. Around y/n he doesn't have to worry about anything instead he's the one being taken care of.

Being around such a loud atmosphere had made him forget how peaceful and quiet the silence is. He had visited y/n after such a long time, he almost forgot how comforting his hugs were.

"are you alright darling?" Y/n asks, he knew soobin too well, he looked like he would cry and break any minute. Y/n made soobin sit on the couch. Soobin's eyes were filled with tears ready to spill.

"no- i don't know-" he babbles and brakes down, sobbing feverishly the tears no longer contained.

"is something wrong? do you want to talk?" y/n asks in a hushed voice holding soobin's face in his hands.

"y-y/n, even i don't know what I'm crying for, an-nd the tears won't stop either! what do I do?!" Soobin asks stuttering and sobbing. He placed his own hands on top of y/n's leaning more into the warmth they provided.

"you don't know?" Soobin shook his head looking up at y/n. "it's alright you don't need a reason; you know, besides I'm right here"

"I know" he smiled through tears taking y/n in from the waist to hide in his chest, y/n let him and cradled his head. Soobin on the other hand cried profusely. One after the other thoughts started to cloud his mind.

The hate comments he often got or how many wanted someone else as the leader of the group. He knew he himself wasn't worthy enough to be a leader but what about the people who told him that he was the best person for this job? Were they all wrong?

Even today at practice, the manager often called him out and lectured him about how he should have the group members under control. It wasn't his fault if yeonjun had dyed his hair without telling the company. How can he 'control' him.

But now when he was away from them, their tiring practice, it didn't feel so overwhelming. Here nobody expected anything from him. Along these thoughts sleep faintly took over him, he slept with dried tears and a hot face.

y/n upon hearing soft snores, made him lay on the couch placing a soft pillow underneath his head, and leaving just to come back with a blanket for soob.

To give him some space y/n leaves the room and does some office work that was pending, though y/n was sleepy he didn't want to be asleep if soobin wakes up in the middle of the night. He brought his laptop down to the living room where soobin was sleeping soundly and sat on the chair nearby.

Y/n had dozed off as soon as he started working, he slept in a quite awkward position and was bound to have a neck cramp next morning.

The next morning rolled by and y/n woke up first with the keyboard shape printed on his cheek. Oh how his neck pained, he then got up and walked off to do his daily routine, thinking he'll wake the guy after he's done.

Y/n quickly freshened up, and went to wake soobin up. He saw the guy awake sitting there in a daze and called out to him.

"binni!"

"mm?" he looked puzzled maybe he wasn't fully awake yet. Y/n sat down beside him waiting for a moment before asking. "do you feel okay now?"

"yup" he says with a dorky smile. Y/n just stares at him a giddy smile forming on his face. He then suddenly looked away clearing his throat "great!" He said rather loudly "i-ill go make breakfast you get ready. Yeah?"

"Mhm" soobin nodded. Soobin had many sleepovers here so y/n had already brought the necessaties for him like- a brush, his favourite face wash, mouth cleanser, and 7 pairs of daily wear. The only thing left for them was to move in together.

Soobin then took a shower and went downstairs to the kitchen after getting dressed up. Where he found y/n finishing up with the cooking.

"Done?"

"yeah" soobin said and used the towel to dry his wet hair. "you should have dried your hair earlier soob" y/n naggs taking the towel and drying the guy's hair himself. "now eat up before it gets cold"

"what about you?"

"ill join you in a few, besides the food is too hot for my liking"

After y/n deemed the hair dry enough he set the towel aside and sat down to eat the breakfast. "is the food any good?" y/n asks right before digging in.

"i've told you a thousand times before and ill tell you now too: you should compete in a cooking competition you'll be sure to win"

"yeah right" y/n agrees sarcastically.

"Hey! I'm serious!"

"Sure you are"

The couple start their day with a lovely bicker, how sweet.

"can we cuddle before I leave?" soobin asks shyly.

"awh ofc!"

Y/n shifted in the bed and made some space for the tall guy. He joins in resting on y/n's arm and curling into a ball. Y/n pulls him in snuggling closer. "soob, I'll always be here for you, you know?"

"i do"

Cringey asf but do i care?

[folklorelise]

The cadets are turned into kids and think you and Levi are their parents (2)

Here is PART 2 of this!

MASTERLIST

— You were mad at them.

Since the cadets turned into kids you were more stressed than usual – between taking care of them all, doing your paperwork in time and helping Hange with theirs, it was a lot. Adding to this, your sleeping hours were cut in half as well due to kids never sleeping. You were overwhelmed and on edge, ready to snap at any moment.

“Levi,” you called him after lunch, “can you watch over the kids for a few hours? I–.” you took a deep breath, “I just have to take a bath and rest a little bit… it won’t be long!”

“Of course, take your time.” Levi kissed your forehead before leaving your room.

Levi went to the children’s room while you went to relax a bit.

“Where’s mommy?” Eren asked when Levi came in alone.

“She’ll come later.”

“I want mommy now!” Jean shouted frowning.

“Stop whining or she won’t come here at all.” Levi told them which made them all shut up.

They continued to play together when Jean came to Levi. He struggled to climb on the couch but succeeded and sat on Levi’s lap. He turned around so he could face Levi and asked.

“When is mommy coming here?”

“I don’t know.” Levi answered calmly.

“Play with us then!” Jean pouted. “Come with us.” Jean stood on Levi’s lap when Levi ignored him.

“No. Sit down or leave.” Levi told him in a harsh tone. “No, don’t cry.” Levi’s voice softened when he saw Jean’s tears. “I’ll come and play ok? Just… don’t cry.” Levi stood up with Jean in his arms.

For a few hours, Levi had to play dolls with the kids who were really into it – imagining complex stories, doing voices etc. It was dinner time when they all started to get tired of playing.

“Where’s mommy?” Armin asked shyly.

“Aren’t you all hungry?” Levi quickly changed the subject.

“Yay!” they all shouted.

“I’ll go grab something to eat then, don’t move.” Levi ordered before leaving the room.

When Levi left the room, Eren stood up and told the others that he was going to look for you. Sasha, Connie, Mikasa and Armin were against the idea knowing that Levi would not be happy about it, then there was Jean who agreed with Eren.

“Fine, we’ll leave without you!” Eren opened the door with difficulty.

Mikasa quickly followed Eren and Jean as well as Armin because lately, Armin got the habit of following or imitating Jean. Wherever Jean went, Armin would follow – whatever Jean was doing, Armin would do the same. Jean felt irritated when Armin follow or copied him, but he never said anything. He did once – the first time – and Armin cried which made Jean felt bad and he swore never to make Armin cry again.

“Where is mommy?” Armin asked.

“I don’t know.” Eren said.

“Just go to her room.” Mikasa commented.

They all run to your room and it was not locked. You were trying to sleep in your bed after a few hours of work when you suddenly heard the kids yelling.

“Mommy!” Jean yelled, jumping in your bed.

Meanwhile, Levi immediately regretted his decision when he came back to only two kids out of six. He asked them where the rest of them went and Sasha told him that they were looking for you. Levi took them with him and directly went to your room. Armin and Mikasa were clinging onto you while Jean and Eren were shouting and jumping on the bed.

“Stop jumping on the bed or you’ll break it!” you desperately tried to stop them.

“Eren! Jean! Stop.” Levi ordered in a harsh tone which made them immediately stop. “Y/N,” Levi said more softly, “are you ok?”

“Is mommy sick?” Sasha asked.

“No.” you said.

“Then come play us!” Eren shouted.

“Stop screaming.” you warned him. “And let go of me.” you told Armin and Mikasa but none of them listened to you.

“Kids, come here and let’s go.” Levi tried.

“NO!” Eren shouted loudly, “MOMMY! Come play with us!”

“Mommy!” Jean joined Eren.

“Stop calling me that!” you shouted back which made everyone shut up, “I am not your mother so all of you… just –.” you felt tears falling down, “stop.”

“Mommy?” Mikasa whispered worried.

“I heard shouting outside.” Erwin came in. “What’s happening?” he asked worried.

“Take the kids with you.” Levi said. “And close the door please.”

Erwin did not questioned Levi’s request and took the kids with him in his office. None of the kids wanted to leave you, but Erwin easily took them in his arms. Levi walked to you and wrapped his arms around you.

“Hey, it’s ok.” Levi murmured. “Let’s sit down.”

Levi brought you to bed and sat next you and let you cry on his shoulder. He would just hold you close to him until you stopped crying.

“I feel like shit.” you sobbed. “The kids probably hate me by now too.”

“They don’t.”

“Did you hear what I said? Th-they’re kids! And I- I just yelled at them.” you lamented, “I am the worst mother ever, and they’re not even my real kids!”

“I’m sure everything will work out.”

Erwin on his way to his office with the children saw Hange and brought them with him. Erwin, with Hange’s help, tried to cheer the kids up but they would not stop crying – they wanted to be with you and Levi.

“Is mommy going to leave us?” Armin sobbed.

“No!” Erwin said quickly.

“Y/N, she loves you all very much.” Hange said. “But you have to understand that she was… mh… very tired and she had a lot of work to do.”

“And sometimes,” Erwin continued, “you just have to let that person alone.”

“We have to leave mommy?” Connie asked.

“Yes,” Hange said, “but not forever. It would just be for a day so she can rest.”

“Is mommy not going to be our mommy because we made her upset?” Jean asked shyly.

“No, of course not.” Erwin reassured them. “I’m sure she’ll come back soon.”

Erwin and Hange stayed with the kids until night before Levi came in to put them to bed. Once they cleaned up and changed, they all went to bed without protest.

“Ok, I’ll turn off the lights.” Levi walked out.

“Daddy.” Armin called him before he closed the door, “Is mommy not going to say goodnight to us?”

“She’s n –.” Levi thought about it, “I’ll go and ask her.”

Levi came back to your room and you were already laying in bed, comfortably installed under the blanket. Levi sat next to you and rested his head on your stomach.

“The kids want to see you.”

“Aren’t they upset?” you worried, putting your hand through his hair.

“No, they’re just… they want to see you.”

“I should go then.” you stood up. “I’ll be right back.” you kissed him before leaving.

You walked very quickly toward the kids room and when you opened the door, you noticed they were all still up even though the lights were off. Sasha was the first one to see you and she jumped out of the bed to hug you.

“Hey.” you smiled, kneeling down. “Aren’t you sleepy?”

“No.” Sasha smiled.

“Let’s go back to bed alright?”

You sat down on the bed next to all the kids – they were all staring at you, waiting for you to talk first.

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier.” you apologised. “I should never have yelled at you kids.”

“Don’t stop being my mommy please.” Eren frowned.

“We’re sorry mommy.” Jean said with teary eyes.

“No don’t be.” you comforted them, “I love you all very much.” you smiled.

You opened your arms and they all came to hug you, smiling and happy.

— They sleep between you two — captain dad and squad leader mum.

Armin:

Armin had a nightmare about you leaving for an expedition and not coming back to him. He had Levi coming back devastated and not talking to him or anyone. A stranger – someone from your squad – had to tell him the news that you were never coming back. He woke up panicked and ran to your room. You and Levi agreed that the doors to your room would always be opened if there were any problems.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Armin came in crying.

“Armin?” Levi woke up. “Hey what’s wrong?” he put Armin between you too.

“What’s wrong?” you asked still half asleep.

“Mommy!” Armin cried next to you which woke you up instantly.

“What happened?” you panicked. “Armin, it’s ok.” you patted his head, “I’m here.”

“You didn’t come back.” Armin sobbed.

“What?” you whispered looking at Levi.

“I don’t know.” Levi mouthed.

“Armin,” you wiped his tears away, “what happened?”

“Bad dream.” Armin sobbed harder. “You were n-not here and daddy was s-sad! An-and he wasn’t w-with me!”

“Armin, it’s ok.” you reassured him, “I’m here and daddy’s here too.”

Levi laid on the bed and put Armin next to him. You took the blanket and put it on the three of you and soon enough, Armin calmed down and fell back asleep. In the morning, Armin was found to be sleeping on top of Levi, with his hand resting on Armin’s back so he would not fall.

“This is too much for my heart.” you whispered to yourself.

Jean:

Jean had been feeling slightly sick for the past couple of days but did not tell anyone. He stayed in bed when it was time to eat dinner and you were worried at first which made you bring him dinner but he was asleep already. You brought back the tray and gave it to the kids who were not against the idea of eating more.

Jean woke up in the middle of the night, still slightly sick and extremely hungry. He discreetly go out of bed and went to your room. When Jean came in, he noticed lights were still on – Levi was still awake, probably working.

“Daddy?” Jean asked timidly. Which startled Levi.

“What are you still doing up at this hour?” Levi whispered, scared to wake you up.

“I’m hungry.” Jean admitted.

“Come here.” Levi put away his papers.

Levi took him in his arms and put him on the bed between you two which woke you up.

“Mh. What’s wrong?” you mumbled.

Jean turned his head toward Levi so he could answer for him.

“Jean’s hungry.” Levi said.

“Mh – I’m up.” you dragged yourself out of bed slowly. “I’m going to bring you some food alright?” you patted Jean’s head and noticed his forehead was a little hot. “Are you sick Jean?” you asked worried.

“No.” Jean answered.

“Jean, don’t lie. Are you sick?” Levi asked again.

“I don’t know.” Jean said looking at his hands playing with the blanket.

“Jean,” you said softly, “it’s ok. I’ll go and bring some hot tea too alright?”

You went to the kitchen and prepared some food and started to boil some water as well. You took two cups – one for Jean and another for Levi - and poured some water in it with the tea leafs. You put the smashed potatoes and the vegetables on a plate and put everything on a tray before going back to your room. Levi started to feed Jean while you prepared a cold towel for Jean.

“Jean, what did you forget earlier?” Levi said when you came back.

“Thank you mommy!” Jean smiled.

“You’re welcome baby.” you smiled back.

When Jean finished eating, Levi offered to cleaned it up while you put Jean to sleep. You thanked him and went back to bed. You put the cold towel on Jean’s forehead and laid next to him.

“You can sleep now.” you rest your hand on Jean stomach.

“Good night mommy.”

“Good night.”

“Good night daddy!” Jean said when Levi came back to bed.

Eren:

Just like Armin, Eren had a nightmare that night. When he first woke up, he tried to go back to sleep because he did not want to bother you nor Levi. But after thirty minutes of trying, he went to your bedroom. This time, both of you were asleep.

Eren hesitated a second about whether he should wake you up or not. He quickly decided not to and laid on the floor. Levi woke up not too long after Eren came in because he was thirsty. He only noticed Eren’s presence when he came back from the kitchen.

“Y/N.” Levi whispered

“Mmh?”

“Eren’s on the ground.”

“Mh.” you mumbled, “What?” you asked again a minutes later – your eyes wide open.

“Look.” Levi pointed at Eren.

“What is he doing on the ground?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bring him here.” you told Levi.

“You do it.” Levi argued.

“I’ll wake him up.”

“And I won’t?”

“You never did when I used to fell asleep in your office.” you reminded him.

“Fine.”

Levi miraculously brought Eren on the bed without waking him up and put him between you two. During the night, Eren ended up on Levi’s left side meaning Levi was in the middle. While he had his arms around Eren – so he would not fall – you had yours around Levi.

— Sasha and Connie would often sneak out and sleep with you and Levi.

— Mikasa never did. When she had nightmares she would only hug her teddy bear closer. She was scared to bother you. Once she did wake Sasha up and slept closer to her.

——————————

Shorter Stories

— Mikasa was known to be always quiet – she was afraid to bother people especially you or Levi. Even when she was hurt, she would stay quiet. Once during a meeting, she accidentality cut herself with a piece of paper. It was Eren, ten minutes later who had to tell you.

“Next time, you tell me immediately ok?” you told Mikasa as you cleaned the cut.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“You had to leave for me.” Mikasa explained.

“You are more important than the meeting, so next time just tell me alright?”

Mikasa only nodded and followed you back to the meeting.

— Jean is known to be a momma’s boy – he would always stay with you and play with you rather than Levi. He often cried when you had to leave without them. He loved to be held by you, he knew how to walk perfectly, but he would rather stay with you.

“Stop spoiling him.” Levi would often say to you.

“I can’t help it. Jean is adorable!”

When others were watching over the kids, you were the one Jean would be asking for, not Levi which surprised you when Hange came because Jean hurt himself while playing.

“Jean’s at the infirmary – nothing serious though!” Hange quickly added.

“I’ll go.” you stood up.

“Mh…” Hange stopped you, “he asked for Levi.”

“Are you sure?” you asked them.

“Yes.”

“Oh,” you gasped dramatically, “did you hear that?”

“What?” Levi asked ready to leave.

“My heart being broken by that kid.” you threw yourself back to bed.

When Jean got better, he immediately came back to you. You tried to be mad at Jean – in a playful way – but when you saw him nearly crying, you apologised and let him stay with you.

— The kids were staying with you in the morning, and it was decided that Levi would watch them after lunch because you had work to do with your squad. You were holding Eren in your arms and he refused to let go of you when Levi arrived.

“I want to stay with mommy please!” Eren cried holding onto you.

“Eren,” you calmed him down, “I will be back really quick, I promise.”

“Noo!” Eren cried as Levi took him.

Eren was desperately trying to hold your arms, but Levi was swift. Eren leaned over and grabbed your hair and pulled it which made you scream and lose your balance.

“Eren!” Levi yelled putting him down. “Y/N, are you ok?” he knelt down.

“I’m fine.” you reassured him, “it’s ok.”

“Mommy?” Eren hesitated.

“Eren,” Levi started, “go to your room with the others.” but Eren did not move, “right now!” Levi ordered.

“Levi.” you put your hands on his face, “I’m ok.” you turned to Eren who was now crying silently. “Eren, it’s ok, I’m fine.”

“’M sorry mommy!”

“It’s ok, now go with daddy and listen to him ok?”

Eren nodded and took Levi’s hand and left.

“Sorry daddy.” Eren sobbed.

“Mh.” Levi answered. “Don’t ever do that again am I clear?”

“Never!”

——————————

Short HCs:

— Sasha’s birthday happened that year when they were still kids. You all baked a cake together.

— Connie would often draw pictures of you all as a family during meetings.

— Erwin loved staying with the kids. He would often put them to bed.

— Hange loved the kids too – they would always play with them outside with Moblit, Mike and Nanaba.

PART 3 (coming soon)

[shoutogepi]

A Million Times Over, part 2

┌────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ──────┐

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Todoroki Shouto x American!Reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 6.4k 

[ ☀︎, ☁︎, ✘ (nsfw!) ] (series warnings)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : NSFW references (no explicit smut this chapter)

𝐛𝐢𝐨 : You lose all memories from the past five years of your life due to an accident-induced coma, including any recollection of your beloved boyfriend and fellow pro-hero, Shouto. He’s devastated that you don’t remember him, but the both of you are determined to get your memories back, no matter how long it takes. In the meantime, you attempt to rebuild your relationship with him… while also nurturing the spark that’s still very much lit between you two.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : Yaaaaaa babie so part 2 is finally finished! I’m wicked excited to finish the series next chapter and ughhh the smut is gonna be so good omg. Just wait. 

𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : shout out to @shotoh for beta-reading this for me, what a saint <3 

└────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ──────┘

─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🄸t was warm.

There was something heavy on your middle, but it didn’t feel like a nuisance— it was a welcome weight, one that somehow made comfort seep from your chest and fill the rest of your body with a quiet sense of peace. You hummed as sleep’s grasp on you lightened, the cogs in your mind beginning to turn. The hospital bed had never been this comfortable before, and the acrid smell of antiseptic and bustle of the doctors outside your door was peculiarly absent. Instead, a pleasant scent of laundry and cologne lingered on your pillowcase, making the corners of your mouth pull up in a droopy smile.

Your eyes opened as you recalled where you were, and whose arms you were lying in— whose gentle breaths blew at your hair and tickled the shell of your ear. Letting out a slow exhale, you blinked the sleep from your eyes, legs attempting to move, only to find them tangled with the muscled calves of your bedmate who, you prayed to whatever divine presence that was out there, was still asleep.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

However, when you tried to move away, a low groan sounded in your ear, scattering the stray hairs that laid out of place there. Like a sleeping bear, the arm around your waist curled around you tighter, pressing your entire body directly against the hard contour of his. You swallowed, blinking owlishly as you tried not to think about the sizeable semi-hardness poking into your backside, nor the rough fingertips that splayed out on the smooth expanse of your stomach at the bottom of your shirt, the very pinky dipping under the waistband of your sleep shorts and panties, palm warming your skin just enough to make your heart awaken for the day.

Your breath was caught in your throat, and you didn’t dare move another inch. Even if you didn’t have your memories of the man you shared your life with for the past few years, the moments the two of you had shared throughout the past week were enough to have butterflies fluttering to life in your stomach. The feeling of simply being in his arms, tucked under the sheets and cocooned in his warmth and his scent, it all had your body feeling like it was at peace.

At home.

Shouto’s hand was lying open beside your face, his arm tucked underneath your neck as he must’ve fallen asleep spooning you, and not since shifted away throughout the night. His fingers twitched in his sleep just slightly, and you took the moment to admire the long, slender digits. For a man of his size and stature, they were surprisingly thin, almost as if in another life he could have tickled piano keys for a living. But they were also marred with scars and calluses from his herowork— none open nor recent, seeing as he had taken the last month off to watch over you. Reaching for his hand, you traced the lines on his palm, trailing your fingertips over his skin and finding yourself lost in thought. You wondered if this was how you usually slept, if this was what you woke up to every day…

If that was your reality, you would happily accept it.

Being in Shouto’s arms made you feel safe, protected from the troubles of life. You already harbored silly feelings for him before you had even met him, and now that you had, those feelings had only been amplified, each day spent with him a catalyst to the reaction he triggered in your heart.

You bit your lip, twisting your spine so you could look at him. Holding your breath as you finally laid eyes on him, you took your time to admire him in all his slumbered glory. Your eyes loitered on his high cheekbones, the sharp angle of his jawline, and then the placid expression he donned while he slept, not plagued with the usual lacing of concern that he wore throughout the day. He was so… handsome. In all his hardened, heroic glory, he still managed to look like a prince straight out of every little girl’s storybook. And he certainly had the body to go with it as well— the fruits of his training on full display for you as you marveled at his naked chest.

Your heart leapt into your throat when he stirred, his arm around your waist coming to rub at his tired eyes. Watching his grey eye open slightly, your breath caught at the crooked grin that blossomed on his lips when he locked eyes with you.

“Mmm morning princess,” he rumbled, hand landing on your stomach to push your body backwards into his. He didn’t mind the little squeak of surprise you let out, nuzzling his face into your neck and slinging his leg across your hips once he flattened them onto the mattress. Your face felt like it was on fire, his morning… problem pressed firmly against your back now as he moaned in content, scattering lazy kisses across your throat.

You gasped when his hand on your stomach suddenly jumped up to grope your breast over your shirt, his fingers kneading tenderly as tingles fired across your nerves. It felt good to be receiving his unbridled affection— too good, really, as he started to suck at your neck. Your body cried out for his touch but you had barely even kissed last night— this was too much, too fast.

“Sh-Shouto!”

He paused, head rearing back as he detected the urgency in your voice, sleepy eyes locking with yours with his brows furrowed underneath his frazzled bed-head. It took him a moment before his eyes widened and horror replaced the slumber that had impeded his judgement before, his body jumping to the other side of the bed instantly as his cheeks flushed a bright pink. “I— I’m so sorry, Y/n, fuck— I didn’t…” he stammered, embarrassment evident as the pink turned to red, little flames sprouting on the left side of his head while his eyes flew about, unable to meet your gaze.

You instantly felt guilty, his demeanor apologetic. It was clear that he was frustrated with himself. “It’s okay, I’m not mad, I was just… it was just, um, unexpected?” you tried to laugh but it came out sounding more like a choke.

“Damn it…” Shouto mumbled, his hands coming to drag across his face morosely. The flames that licked at his side sizzled out, indicating that he was no longer so much shocked as he was contrite. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, muffled by his hands that still occupied his face. “It was just… I forgot for a second and... I didn’t mean to— to, well, come onto you. God, I’m sorry.”

You watched him for a second, your heart suddenly heavy with the sadness that leaked from his choice of words. For the first time in a long time, he had woken up with you in his arms, and he had forgotten about the absolute shitstorm of the month he’d had. That was probably how he acted when he woke up normally, as your sweet and loving boyfriend— showering you in affection was his first instinct of the day, and there was nothing wrong with that.

“It’s really okay, Sho. I was just surprised,” you peeped, trying to relieve him of some of the stress that he was so apparently harboring. “It’s not like I hated it…”

Shouto processed your words for a moment before one hand rose from his face, his brow contorted into a mix between accusatory and suggestive. There was a hint of a smile threatening to bloom on his lips, but he remained silent as he stared at you.

“I just meant that— well… we could lay here for a bit before we get up for the day. If… If that’s our usual routine or, if you would be interested in that!” You could feel your face getting hot now, the embarrassment transferring from him to you.

But Shouto chose not to tease you, instead scooting back over to you in the middle of the bed. “You always did like your morning cuddles,” he said, mouth turning at the corners into a smirk.

“Whatever, just— just keep your third leg to yourself, okay? Arms only!” You shared a quick look with him, the both of you shocked that you had really just said that.

But Shouto followed your request, flipping so he laid on his belly before his arm hooked out to bring you into his side, nose pressing up against your ear as you were on your back. The butterflies were back and busy again in your stomach— his touch just did something to you, it was both exhilarating and infuriating when he had hardly done anything. 

“Never heard that one before,” he murmured lowly, snark lurking in his voice. “You’re usually quite fond of my third leg, dear.”

⋆⋅✧⋅⋆⋅✧⋅⋆⋅✧⋅⋆

The rest of the morning went more according to plan. After a considerable amount of time lying in the sheets with Shouto cuddling into your side, you finally parted ways and went about getting ready for the day. There was a sense of giddiness pumping through your veins as your boyfriend left you stationed in front of your closet, mumbling something about preparation before you headed out.

Mostly, you were looking forward to going on your date. But then, there was also the surprised excitement that came from the sight of your walk-in closet, complete with rows of neatly organized clothes and a built-in wall with shelves and drawers, even a glass display case full of glittering jewels and gems in designs all tailored to your taste. You took a moment to pat yourself on the back. Not only did you seem to have the man of your dreams, but you had also attained your dream closet? If this was truly a dream, you most definitely did not want to wake up.

It took you an absurdly long amount of time to piece together your outfit. It was partially because you stopped to ogle at pretty much every hanger you rifled through, and partially because you were completely unsure of what clothes Shouto particularly enjoyed seeing you in. There was a sneaking suspicion that his preference was for you to not be clothed at all… but it wasn’t like you could go out on your date in your birthday suit. And, that would mean exposing your bare body to him, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that just yet.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t insanely attracted to him— because you definitely were. Just, the situation you were in was a delicate one, and when you did decide to indulge in the physicalities of your relationship, it would be after you had no more questions to ask him. You just weren’t quite there yet.

So, you decided on a pair of dark jeans and a flowy blouse that showcased your shoulders, matching the color of your shoes, belt, and purse. After a quick makeup routine, you chose to spruce up the outfit with a little jewelry, seeing as you had quite an ample selection to choose from. A shiny pair of hoops for your ears came easily enough, but you struggled to find a necklace which would pull everything together. Your eyes wandered over the chains of gold and silver, some shining with bright gems and some intricate enough with just the curve of the metal. It was then that you noticed a simple but very elegant necklace, its blue-topaz pendant catching your gaze. As you inspected the glittering stone, a warm feeling pooled in your chest, and you found your fingers reaching for the jewelry without thought. There was something special about this necklace, but what, exactly, you couldn’t identify.

It was incredibly frustrating. This was the closest you had come to remembering anything since you had woken up a week ago… and while it was certainly progress, it was infuriating to have the recollection dangling just barely out of your reach. You stared at the brilliant cyan gem for another moment before deciding that you weren’t going to remember based on willpower alone, securing the clasp around your neck. If that were the case, then you would have your memory back already, you were sure. You left the room with your shoes in hand, sock-clad feet padding quietly against the shiny hardwood floors while a sour taste dwelled on the back of your tongue.

Yet somehow, the second your eyes met Shouto’s, the feeling of self-loathing was instantly quelled, replaced with a pleasant wave of some feeling you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His eyes had locked onto the stone around your neck right as you walked into the kitchen, and immediately a smile graced his lips as he found your gaze.

You couldn’t help but return one, your eyes flickering to the floor before returning to him, overwhelmed with the tingles that zipped through you. He hadn’t really given you the chance to take in the outfit he had chosen before he left you to dress, and you found yourself appreciating the soft, cream sweater that fell just over his denim-clad hips.

“Wow, you look…” his eyes trailed down your form and then back up, his smile just as full. He let out a soft laugh, head tilting back before his attention returned to you, as if he didn’t quite believe the sight in front of him. “Beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

You already knew you looked good, but still, hearing the compliment roll off his tongue made your stomach leap up beside your heart. “Thank you, Sho. You look beautiful, too,” you teased, trying to downplay the effect his words had on you.

Even though his cheeks dusted with a light pink, his expression remained unchanged, gaze dropping to the pendant resting in the middle of your chest again. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but he held his tongue.

Just as you were about to tell him about the feeling you’d gotten earlier, he turned and grabbed some things from the counter behind him, whisking them into his arms. There was a curious look you shot him as you examined the numerous hats he offered to you, one of your brows rising at the variety.

Shouto didn’t give you the chance to ask, launching into explanation without your prompt. “You and I are technically celebrities. So it’s best if we conceal our faces while we’re out in public.” His gaze dropped to the brim of the gray suede boater in his hand, his thumb trailing across the soft material. “I don’t want you ambushed today. The public has missed you while you’ve been out of commission, so if we’re spotted, I’ll have to share you… and I don’t think either of us is ready for that quite yet.”

You nodded, ignoring the giddiness that bloomed in the depths of your stomach at his choice of words. Reaching for a floppy hat, your fingers brushed over his sweater as you grabbed your choice of camouflage. The fit was snug around your head, the silky ribbon tied around the crown the perfect match to your shoes. Shouto put on his hat as well, making sure to tuck the white half of his hair up and out of sight, giving him a faux monochromatic appearance. He wordlessly handed you a pair of large sunglasses, which you slid onto your face without protest. He mirrored your action, choosing a dark pair of aviators that helped disguise his famous scar.

“How do I look?” You asked, doing a little spin for full emphasis. The movement put a little smile on Shouto’s face, his eyes roaming your figure leisurely before he offered a thumbs up.

“Enchanting as always, love,” he replied stoically, the suavity and candor of his response aiding to the warm, swirling feeling in your stomach. But his expression morphed into a playful smirk, eyes twinkling with mischief. “What about me?”

A laugh trickled out of you as he copied your twirl, his execution somehow more graceful than yours. His pink lips curled into a genuine smile at your giggle, ending his mock demonstration in a curtsey. This only caused you to swat at him in exaggeration, taking the first steps towards the door.

“Equally enchanting,” you replied, not a hint of a lie in your voice. Your conviction made Shouto stutter, his grin melting to a flustered purse of the lip. It was then that you took his hand decisively, chuckling as you placed a swift kiss to his cheek. “Ready to go.”

It took him a moment to buffer, but he quickly recovered, a warm flush coloring his cheeks as his fingers squeezed yours. The digits of his other hand curled around the small of your waist, guiding you through the door.

⋆⋅✧⋅⋆⋅✧⋅⋆⋅✧⋅⋆

Your eyes widened as Shouto pulled the sleek car into the parking space, your surroundings somewhat familiar. When you had asked where he was taking you, he hadn’t revealed any clues, preferring to give a vague “someplace you’ll enjoy” before effectively killing the conversation. You probably should’ve expected it, but surprise overtook you as you turned the sidewalk corner and there stood the cat cafe the pair of you had passed on your way back from the hospital just yesterday.

When you turned to look at Shouto, his eyes were already inspecting your reaction, the excitement written obviously all over your face. He regarded you with a quiet, knowing smile as he opened the door for you, the bell tinkling overhead and the quiet mewls of kittens further inside distinctly ringing in your ears. Right as you stepped inside, a fluffy, smoosh-face cat curled around your ankles, brushing and sniffing at you in greeting. Shouto made a joke about the fluffy beast being the cutest host he’d ever seen, his smile only growing when you laughed in return.

Once you were seated, tucked in a comfy pair of chairs in the corner of the cafe, a waitress came over to take your orders. What took you by surprise was that Shouto ordered for you— the exact confection and drink you were eyeing when you peeked at the menu. He shot you a little smirk at the cuteness of your impressed expression, asking if you’d like to add anything and turning the staff person's attention to you. At your denial, they excused themself, leaving you alone with Shouto once more.

There was a palpable tension in the air between the two of you. Unbeknownst to you, the other cafe goers could practically see the sparks flying between you.

“So… do we come here a lot?” you inquired, taking a tentative sip of your ice water and training your eyes on the top button of his shirt. It was just too intense to stare him straight in the eye sometimes…

Shouto took a moment to reply, looking through his red and white bangs at you fondly, leaning back in his chair before shaking his head. “Truthfully, we’ve never been here before.” He gauged the surprise in your eyes, a little knowing smile resting on his plump lip before he continued. “You always wanted to try this place but we hadn’t gotten around to it… you even picked out the food you wanted in case we came. I hope your tastes remain unchanged? If I ordered something you don’t want, I’ll call the waiter over.”

It was then your turn to shake your head, a quick and decisive answer. “No, you got it right,” you reassured, hands wringing slowly underneath the table in your lap. “The only other thing I wanted to try was the drink you ordered, so it’s fine!”

“Have as much as you like,” he suavely suggested, his tone sounding more like a demand than an offer. Just as he focused his eyes on yours, he was interrupted by a fuzzy orange kitten jumping into his lap, settling into a tiny loaf across his thighs and staring up at him expectantly.

You and Shouto both buffered for a moment before you let out a laugh at the sight of such a tiny creature in your broad boyfriend’s embrace. Shouto began to chuckle too, giving the creature a little scratch under the chin. The kitten meowed happily in agreement, placing its head onto its paws and settling in for a nap. You let the comfortable silence last for a minute before you meandered back into conversation.

“So um, earlier, when we were getting ready to go out…,” your fingers absentmindedly wandered to the pendant resting in the middle of your collar bones. “I saw this necklace in my closet and I felt like it was… important? And then I thought I caught you looking at it earlier too maybe? Do you know if it has any significant meaning or anything?”

Shouto’s gaze remained on the cat in his lap for another moment before it flicked over to you, and once again, you were stunned by the amount of emotion in his mismatched eyes. “I gave it to you,” he answered, his free hand fiddling with the sunglasses that now hung in the middle of his shirt collar. “It was for our first anniversary.”

You didn't really know what to make of that, the newfound knowledge resonating through you as you tried to remember anything about that day at all.

“I chose that color because you said you loved it… the color of my eyes. Or— eye— I suppose,” he gestured to the piercing cerulean orb that rested on his hot side, standing out even more against the muddled skin of his scar.

Your head nodded as you processed his answer, your finger nudging at the handle of your cutlery absentmindedly. “You do have nice eyes,” you mumbled, your veins pumping with a warmth you'd come to recognize as his natural effect on you.

Shouto smiled at that, his gaze focused on the pendant gleaming in the sun’s gentle caress. You could feel the intensity of his eyes there in the center of your chest, the modest amount of exposed cleavage feeling hot under his inspection.

At his silence, you continued on, your flusteredness forcing your mouth to move without much reason. “And— you have great taste in jewelry too, I mean, this is really beautiful.”

“It suits you,” he replied instantly, as if such words required no thought whatsoever.

That just made your cheeks feel even hotter, and a surprised chuckle sounded past your lips, his compliment egging on the butterfly swarm in your belly. “Thank you… I’m glad you have enough rationale to avoid a cheesy heart with your name on it or something.”

Shouto’s eyes fleed yours at that, taking a tentative sip of his water. You watched his pink lips curl into a subtle, knowing smirk. He yelped when you kicked his ankle underneath the table, gaze returning to you. He regarded your inquisitorial expression for a moment before he shrugged, his cheeks tinged with the lightest of pinks. “I have actually given you something like that before…”

You bit your lip, now wanting to kick yourself for making fun of the sweet yet idiotic, classic boyfriend gift. Heart jewelry, of course…

“And you really liked it… maybe almost as much as me,” he finished, and you watched as his blush deepened a few shades.

The waiter chose that moment to deliver your drinks, the conversation halting awkwardly before they took their leave once again.

“I really liked it?” You parroted, perplexed. There was no way you would find such a cheesy gift endearing enough to actually enjoy it.

Shouto adjusted himself in his chair, clearing his throat awkwardly. His eyes once again couldn’t meet yours, his fingertips tapping on the edge of the table. “Yeah it— it’s an anklet… it um, has my initials on the charm…” he mumbled, suddenly shy. “You seem to enjoy wearing it when we… when I— when I take you.”

“Oh.”

Your face felt on fire, neither of you brave enough to look each other in the eye following his confession. There wasn’t much you knew about your sex life with Shouto— though you assumed it to be very much alive, and healthily so— but just by the way he phrased that, your thighs were clenching together at the image your brain so kindly painted you.

Shouto was a big, strong man… one who was very proportional, as you recalled from the incident that occurred this morning. The thought of him taking you made your insides squirm with interest, fluttering at the premise of being stretched around him. You took another sip of your drink before the food thankfully arrived, allowing the pair of you to drop the conversation.

⋆⋅✧⋅⋆⋅✧⋅⋆⋅✧⋅⋆

After you finished eating, Shouto took you to the trader’s market around the corner. There were people crowding the streets and trickling through the crosswalks, even though it was a late morning on a Friday and most of the population should’ve been busying away at their jobs. The bustle of the city should’ve been overwhelming for you— Shouto kept you close to his side at all times, his gaze scrutinizing any looks that lasted too long toward your direction.  And yet, you were having a blast, flittering about and exploring the vendors’ stands and the numerous trinket stalls that lined the busy square. His hand was always holding yours. Even when you got more invested in the items on display before you, his fingers would linger at your waist, making his relationship to you apparent to any bystanders.

Sunlight streamed down in between the tall buildings surrounding you, reflecting off the windows like mirrors and making you grateful for the shade of your hat. That made you extra thankful for the ghost of Shouto’s hand across your skin, welcoming the coolness exuding off of his right side. There was a light-hearted conversation between the pair of you, and many grannies waved you over to inspect their merchandise by calling out to the pair of lovebirds. The repeated label made Shouto puff up in pride, aiding him to stand tall and retain the advantage he had on you in terms of height.

Whenever your gaze lingered on something for a second too long, Shouto was instantly handing bills over to the merchants, insisting they take the change or at least tipping them appreciatively. By the time the two of you had visited every stall, numerous bags hung from his left arm, all precariously stacked so the fingers on his other hand could remain laced with yours.

He noticed your wary gaze on the bags, your expression giving your thoughts away immediately. “Don’t worry love,” he reassured, squeezing your fingers in his, “they’re no trouble at all.” At your attempt to grab a few and lessen the load, he pivoted and held them above your head. He frowned, keeping them out of reach as you continued your attempt, swatting at him gently.

“Just let me have one at least,” you pouted, your voice morphing into a little whine. That got him to grin, conceding and handing you the smallest, lightest bag of the bunch. He feigned ignorance when you shot him a playful glare in response, choosing now to steer you toward another topic instead.

“Would it ruin the date if we stopped by my office? I just need to drop off the folders I finished up last night, and the building is just a block over. It should only take a minute.”

You shook your head, shrugging your shoulders. “Sure,” you agreed, allowing his fingers to slip back into yours. Having your hand in his felt natural to you, the warmth of his skin welcomed. “I want to see your agency, anyway!”

It was a short walk to his workplace, as promised. The building was one of the tallest in the surrounding area, with sleek windows paneling all sides and reflecting the orange light of the barely-setting sun. The security guards didn’t bother the pair of you, Shouto acknowledging them with a nod as he slipped off his disguise. The elevator opened and Shouto flashed his badge at the sensor, then pushed the button for one of the floors higher up in the building.

In no time at all, the doors opened again and he led you past the couple secretaries that were perched behind their desks. You could feel their eyes glued to your back, and you were sure that the second you were safely located behind the glass doors to the hallway, they’d launch into discussion. The thought slipped your mind as you came round the corner, Shouto guiding you through the nearest door and ushering you into a large sitting room. Two doors were situated on either side of the room, long glass walls dividing the quarters. One door led to Shouto’s office, as designated by the nearby nameplate. The other you were about to read just as it opened, and a familiar, sharp-toothed redhead bounded toward the pair of you.

Immediately you grinned, ripping your hand from Shouto’s as you launched yourself at the famed Red Riot, one of Japan’s finest heroes lifting you off your feet in an enthusiastic embrace. Your laughs echoed around the room, Kirishima’s chuckles following as he spun you around. Shouto watched silently, a small frown adorning his lip while your gleeful laughs met his ears. He hadn’t heard such a sound in what seemed like forever, and even though he was not the cause of it, he couldn’t help but relish in it.

After a moment, Kirishima put you down and pulled Shouto in for a quick half-hug, patting him on the shoulder as his eyes then returned to you. “Well look who it is,” he grinned, his pointy teeth on display, hands landing on his narrow hips. “It’s so good to see you up and about, Y/n.”

“It’s good to see you too, Kiri,” you mirrored his expression, taking in his appearance.

Shouto watched your eyes rove over him, a sour taste developing at the back of his tongue. You had recognized Kirishima immediately— fondly, even— when it had taken hard work and ample time for you to warm up to him. It had taken a week for you to call him by his usual nickname, and yet, you called Kirishima by his own instantly. He could feel himself turning green at the realization, his frown remaining as his eyes sharpened in scrutiny.

“Wow,” you exclaimed after you had fully appraised the hero, even taking in the scarlet costume that had been updated since the last time you’d seen him. “You look great! Five years has really done you well, hmm? You’re totally ripped. Last time I saw you I swear you were shorter!”

Kirishima laughed and toed at the ground bashfully— never one to handle compliments very well. “Ah, thanks Y/n… gotta stay in shape when your costume has you shirtless all day, right?”

Shouto couldn’t help the envy that rose up inside of him as he watched you chatter eagerly with his coworker… even though he knew you had no control of what memories you lost, it still stung to watch you engage with and compliment another man. Especially when he hadn’t received such easy affection from you in much too long.

“You look much better, too,” Kirishima continued, glancing at Shouto as he picked up on the temperature drop in the room. Somehow you didn’t seem to notice the frost gathering on Shouto’s wrist as a result of his displeasure.  “Erm— last time I saw you was in the hospital when you were still in your coma. I was so relieved to hear you woke up! Then I figured it would be easier for you if you didn’t have any visitors, though… that’s what your f— um, Shouto said would be best, anyway.”  

At the mention of his name, you glanced at the half-and-half man beside you, shooting him a thankful smile that had his heart fluttering and his jealousy waning. He cleared his throat and nodded, casting a forced smile at the other hero. “Yes, well… I have to step into my office quickly, would you entertain her for a moment?”

Kirishima opened his mouth to reply, but Shouto was already halfway through the door, leaving the pair of you slightly stunned. You could see him through the glass wall, eyes following him and wondering why his curt attitude left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“So um…” The redhead turned to look at you, prompting you to do the same. “You really lost all your memories of him?”

The question hit you like he had dunked you in ice cold water, and you stiffened up immediately. Kirishima panicked then, eyes growing wide and covering his mouth.

“I can’t believe I just blurted that out— I just… You guys are so in love, I can’t imagine you two not together,” he explained earnestly, his brow furrowed. His honesty made your stomach burst with butterflies, the premise of being loved by Shouto and being able to love him made you feel flustered as hell.

“We are together,” you clarified, and Kirishima nodded. “Just not as together as before, I guess? It’s just… he makes me feel so many things and I barely know him. But he knows me? Like, intimately. It feels like he knows me more than I know myself sometimes. I dunno, it’s just… complicated, Kiri.”

He smiled in understanding, eyes sympathetic as you spilled your troubles to him. It was nice talking to someone who wasn’t Shouto— as much as you liked him, talking to him was difficult because he made you fumble with your words. You said things you didn’t mean to say when you were with him. Kirishima continued, “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you guys are crazy in love. Like, you’re the couple I aspire to be in some day.”

You grabbed his hand and grinned at that, his sincerity making your heart melt. “Awe, Kiri… It’s good to see you haven’t changed from how I remember you. You’re still the sweetest.”

Kirishima laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Just be yourself with him… I think it’ll put you both at ease. You’re really good for each other— he was devastated the whole time you were asleep.”

The admission made a lump appear in your throat, your eyes feeling glassy all the sudden.

“He hasn’t acted this frigid since his high school days… Long before he met you. I think you make him feel relaxed. I mean, that’s how he always looks when he’s with you, or thinking about you. I can tell when we’re on patrol and he’s daydreaming about you, ‘cus he’ll just walk right into a lamp pole.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the image, cursing the timing when the door opened and Shouto stepped out, his eyes landing on you and then hardening as they moved to Kirishima. He stepped toward him, but you intercepted him and laced your arms around his middle instead, stopping him with your embrace.

Shouto faltered at the sudden display of affection, his cheeks growing hot as he locked gazes with Kirishima, his eyes then dropping to the top of your head as you hid your face in his chest. He was frozen mid-breath, completely still as you held him. His cool, clean scent swallowed you as you kept your head nuzzled into his front, his fingers limp as your hand found his.

With a small step back, you ceased your embrace, your fingers squeezing his tightly as your eyes captured his and you gave him a shy smile. His cheeks only darkened, the grimace that had occupied his face long gone and instead replaced with an awed blankness. His lips parted and moved pointlessly, as if he wanted to say something but no sound escaped him.

“It was nice catching up Kiri,” you said, eyes still locked with Shouto’s heterochromatic ones before you turned to the red hero, who was awkwardly looking to the side as he shuffled his weight between his feet.

Kirishima looked at you and laughed awkwardly once again. You began to exit with Shouto in tow behind you, the hero’s crimson gaze following the pair of you. “Ah, yeah, you too! Let’s meet up soon!”

Then the glass door closed, and you were once again in the vicinity of the secretaries' blatant gawking. You pointedly ignored them as you strode toward the elevator, with their soundlessly boss still trailing behind you. As you waited for the elevator to ascend to your floor, you caught Shouto looking at you funny in your peripheral vision. Yet when you turned to look at him, he only reached out and pulled you into his chest.

Caught by surprise, a meek noise slipped out of you before you collided with his pecs once again, his arms wrapping around you to secure you in place. He nuzzled into your hair and inhaled deeply, uncaring of the secretaries' stares.

Only when the elevator arrived did he pull away, to guide you inside and away from the prying eyes. When the doors were closed, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the crest of your cheek, a wisp of his peppermint-laced breath cooling your skin just as heat rushed there from his lips.

“Let’s go home, love,” Shouto murmured against your skin, knuckles nudging yours before your fingers curled around his. You nodded, holding his arm with your free hand and coming to stand by his side as the elevator rushed toward the ground. A peaceful moment of silence fell upon you and Shouto, giving you time for contemplation.

Any sane woman would've taken one look at Kirishima and felt at least a pinch of interest twirl inside her stomach. He was caring and handsome as they come, and yet he did absolutely nothing for you. Somehow when you were confronted with his chiseled abs and warm gaze, you felt less than when Shouto even glanced at you. You concluded that your body was definitely in love with him… and your heart longed to be the same. But part of you still had questions that needed to be resolved before you could really give yourself to him… and little did he know, you would find the answers to said questions so soon.

─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

.

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ahh i love this sho so much, he’s trying so hard... poor babie 🥺 next part i will be much kinder to him <3 if you enjoyed please be sure to reblog and or leave me a comment •ᴥ• 

➥ masterlist

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[unfoundhoney]

a sister’s sacrifice ; part two ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst with a minuscule amount of fluff

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat

after all is said and done

after l’manberg is left half-ruined but still breathing

after techno runs off

after tommy and tubbo take seats in the cabinet

after wilbur has been killed by phil

after it all, you leave

you leave l’manberg & the rest of the server & refuse to pick a side

you move to a dark oak forest & build a little cottage for yourself hidden among the trees

you’re tired

you’re so so tired of everything & you just want to be at peace

of course, you could never fully leave everything

you’re still visited by your brothers (those that are left) & your friends

you help niki with her flower shop & various other building projects

you remain out of any political affairs tommy & tubbo are involved in

but you still spend most of your time alone in the woods

you’re content living like this

are you happy with the way your life has turned out?

god no

but you can live with being content

& then ghostbur shows up

(ghostbur) hello! are you the y/n phil keeps talking about?

you wanna talk about trauma?

let’s talk about being approached out of nowhere in the middle of the woods while mushroom hunting by your DEAD BROTHER and a blue sheep on a leash

what the f u c

(you, bewildered) ...will?

(ghostbur) i’m not wilbur. not the one you knew. i’m ghostbur! are you y/n? you look like phil described & i haven’t managed to find any other houses hidden in the dark oak forest.

this is... great

ghostbur becomes quite attached to you

will had distanced himself while living in pogtopia as his mental state deteriorated

it seems ghostbur is fulfilling the closeness alivebur wishes to have had maintained with you

.......

cool

this is fine

it’s totally fine

ghostbur visits you often

even though you know it’s not really your wilbur, it’s nice in some odd way to have a version of wilbur still around

it’s through ghostbur that you learn of tommy’s exile, long after it had happened

it seems no one wanted a protective mama bear y/n sent after them, so during your brief visits to the main residential areas, talk of tommy’s exile was conventiently never a conversation piece

you just figured he was busy or distracted or avoiding you like a moody teen

then ghostbur hands you a small letter one day

(you) what’s this?

(ghostbur) it’s an invitation to tommy’s beach party. he’s been quite lonely in exile

(you) quite lonely in what now

ghostbur fills you in as best as his little ghost brain can on what’s happened with tommy & burning down geroge’s house & tubbo exiling him

what do you mEAN TUBBO EXILED TOMMY????

WTFFFFF??????!!!

CAN YOU GET A BREAK????!!!?!?!?

WHAT ARE THESE IDIOT CHILDREN DOING

you’re the only person to get an invite

you watch from afar, wary of approaching your youngest brother with dream so close

you wait for dream to leave before going to him

(you) tommy?

(tommy) ...y/n!

you catch him in a hug without hesitation

(tommy) i knew you’d come

(you) tommy, i’m so sorry. i had no idea you’d even been exiled or i would have visited you immediately-... are you okay?

tommy is so....

he’s so.......

worn down

his clothes are torn & dirty, he has bags under his eyes

he’s thinner than he used to be, which is very concerning as he’s always been a bit of a walking stick

he just looks so tired

the usual fire that burns behind his eyes whether in anger or mischief or just happiness is nonexistent

(tommy) what?

(you) are you okay? i’d been worried because i hadn’t seen you around and- god, i’m so sorry. i should’ve looked for you or asked about you but i just assumed and now this and-... tom?

tommy just starts crying

because he thought you’d stopped caring about him too

he thought everyone stopped caring about him

but you’re here & you’re concerned & you’re as caring as usual

he buries his face in your shoulder & just cries his little heart out

you hold him and pet his hair and just let him cry

(you) tommy

(tommy) yeah?

(you) come home with me

(tommy) what?

(you) come home with me. you can live with me for the time being & we’ll get this sorted out, okay?

you’d seen how manipulative dream was being even in the short time you’d watched him & your brother, so it takes some convincing but soon tommy has packed his things & is heading out with you back to your home in the dark oak forest

you spend a while nursing him back to health, both physically & mentally

it’s truly heartbreaking having to recondition him out of the dependent mindset on dream

it also pisses you the fuck off but you focus your energy on tommy, not on revenge

tommy tries many times to convince you to come back

to go back to l’manberg & “plant the seed of rebellion”

which wasn’t even call for an actual rebellion, just that you could go back & raise hell about your littlest brother being exiled & demand he be allowed back

but time & time again you refuse

you are content staying away from everything & remaining out of conflict

tommy is very much not

so you lead him to techno’s new home

(you) don’t cause too much trouble for him

(tommy) he blew up l’manberg!

(you) wilbur blew up l’manberg. techno just tried to kill the government

you leave him there & head back home

do you get a moderately angry visit a few days later from techno, who eventually agrees to helping tommy upon your asking?

possibly

you’re not present when tommy & techno sneak onto the smp

you’re not there when tommy & tubbo fight

or during the doomsday war when techno, phil, & dream lay waste to l’manberg once and for all

you’re aware, yes

you’re around, you’re in the know

you just remain out of conflict & out of sight

you’re also not there to say goodbye to tommy & tubbo as they head off for their final battle with dream

that little tidbit you weren’t caught up on, too busy wallowing in your own self misery & crying over your broken family

but ghostbur comes to visit that day

(ghostbur) hello, y/n!

(you) hello, ghostbur. it’s nice to see you

(ghostbur) you, as well! would you like some blue

(you) no. thank you.

(ghostbur) i sure do hope tommy & tubbo come back alright

(you) come back from what?

you were expecting “a trip to the nether,” “a journey to a new woodland mansion,” “a search for sunken ships”

instead, you get:

(ghostbur) their final battle with dream. they set off not too long ago

(you) ........if you’ll excuse me

you head off immediately, tracking tommy & tubbo despite all odds

you do not care, those are your brothers & they are not dying on your watch to dream of all people

they may have been told it’s a battle

they may think they have a chance

but this is dream we’re talking about

you know a trap when you see one

you climb up the mountainside as stealthily as possible

you arrive just in time to hear tubbo’s screams as he is cornered and killed by dream, losing his second canon life

tommy seems to be beat into submission as dream threatens to kill tubbo a final time, who respawns defenseless without any of his items

dreams leads them down into the mountain, villain monologuing the whole way

dramatic bitch

you jump down after them, tired of hearing him threaten your brothers

(you) i think you’ve said enough, dream

(dream) there you are. i was beginning to wonder when mama bear would show up

you put yourself between dream and your brothers

(you) you won’t hurt them anymore. i’m taking them & we’re leaving

(dream) i don’t think that’s up to you, y/n

(you) we’ll see

you take the first swing at dream, landing a clean hack at his shoulder with your axe

but again

this is dream we’re talking about

you’ve never been the most talented fighter & dream is second only to technoblade

i.e. you never stood a chance

but all reason went out the window when it comes to saving your brothers

soon you’re backed against a wall, dream’s axe at your throat

(dream) well this was a waste of time

(you) you’re a monster

(dream) thanks

(you) you think distancing yourself from everyone & everything will work? trust me, it doesn’t. it doesn’t matter how far away you move or how much you push those you love away, those feelings will always be there

dream considers you for a moment

you hope he at least has no satisfaction as you stare back in defiance

you’re unafraid; coming down here was a death sentence & yet you still jumped in headfirst

(dream) maybe for someone like you. but i’m not like you. i don’t care about anything or anyone on this server. i’m not burdened by attachment & i will never be again.

(you) i pity you, dream

(dream) pity me in hell

dreams draws his arm back & swings his axe down

you will lose your final canon life to dream, for your brothers

it’s always for your brothers

as much as you think you should hate them, hate everyone for everything that has happened to you

you can’t

they’re your family

you’ll love them infinitely

tubbo gasps in shock & tommy gives a yell of protest

you know they love you, too

you close your eyes

dream’s axe meets your neck

and you’re gone

[a-coulter-winchester]

Midnight Snack

Eric Coulter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Smut! Its all consensual! Oral, slight voyeurism and dirty talk. this is mild plot but mostly smut. 

(might do a part two with Four..) 

You woke up a little startled but mostly stuck in a haze of sleepiness. Warm soft and hungry lips trailed along your neck and jawline leaving wet marks behind. The sensation made your entire body break out in goosebumps but underneath it felt electrified and hot. Strong large calloused hands worked their way up your abdomen searching slowly for your breasts. A large muscular leg slumped over your thighs and pushed between them forcing you to spread your legs and pinning you in place.

The fingers danced along the swell of your breasts. You twitched at the feeling and your hands sluggishly reached for the wrist buried under your loose night shirt. You tried to pull down and remove the hand but you were too weak. The wondering Fingers found your nipples and teased them until they peaked. They pinched and tugged gently at the puffed up nubs. You couldn’t help but lean into him and moan softly. The feeling caused a bolt of arousal to stir an aching flame between your thighs.

“Wh-what are you doing.” You mumbled barely piecing the correct words together.

There was no reply but you were silenced with a mouth. Your lips locked and opened in the middle. He consumed you through a kiss. His tongue slipped in and You welcomed it. He began to tug and pinch your nipples harder making you arch your back and moan into his mouth. You wanted him to stop for all right reasons yet you never wanted someone to take you more than you wanted him to right now. You should of hated this, You should have snapped out of it and screamed at him. You could probably lose friends for sleeping with him or even your ex Four.

He tasted like mint and honey but smelled of smoked cedar and fresh water springs. You felt so warm pressed up against his muscular body. He exuded a heat that could keep you warm in the winter time.

You gasped again as he took one nipple in-between his thumb and finger. Your hands relaxed and you allowed him more room to work. You were so lost in a war deep inside your mind. Between what felt right and what was morally correct. That you hadn’t noticed his lips peppering kisses away from your mouth until his teeth and tongue grazed over your sensitive tips. He switched from one breast to the other making you whimper into darkness.

“Stay quiet.” He hissed around your nipple. It made your blood run cold. You knew he was right given the fact that six other initiates slept only a few feet away.

It also angered you. How was anyone to stay quiet when someone such as Eric was so skilled in making a person quiver and come alive the way he did.

It was the way he made you feel that kept you submissive to him. In these late hours he could probably get you to do anything he wanted. While during the day. Your mouth and stubbornness often got you in trouble. The fear of getting caught is what kept you from fighting with him now. You covered your mouth with your hand. Trying to control your breathing would help but it would only get worse.

“Good girl.” He taunted you. Knowing you hated when he said that. Something about it made you wet while also making you cringe.

Maybe it was the acknowledgement of his success in having power over you. Everything he did was controlled and calculated.

You tried to clear your mind. Eric left your breasts and slowly disappeared into the darkness. All you could do was stare up at the jagged ceiling while his lips kiss and nipped at your stomach. You held your breath when he was centered over you sex. He made sure to not touch the most sensitive parts.

His movements slowed to a very gentle and loving nature. This always confused you because it seemed out of place for Eric. He was usually cold and rough, straight to the point. This was where it was dangerous, if you didn’t keep your guard up this is what could make you soft for him. This is what would make you fall for him.

His lips felt hot as he pressed them into your inner thigh. It felt like he was branding you. He nipped hard enough to catch the skin, not enough to really hurt you. He sucked on the tender flesh and it made your groan deep in your throat. Your chest rose and fell in ragged breaths and your legs shivered. He kissed moving down. His hand gripped the outsides of your thighs keeping you right where he needed you.

The warmth spread across your mound and you wanted so badly to thrust your hips up so that he would be aligned with your sweet spot. Instead he went right to the other thigh. Kissing and then biting again to suck on the supple flesh. The teasing was starting to really set in. You wanted him more than anything and the urge to beg sat on the edge of your tongue.

“Eric!” You whispered harshly. It was a warning as he placed a chaste kiss against your folds like he would to lovers lips.

You swore you could feel him smirk against you. His grip tightened on your legs as you threatened to shut them. He continued to kiss your softness. Tasting the moisture that was collecting there. Feeling heat that was building deep inside of you. Your body shivered again and you tried to wiggle away but his grip was too strong and only added to the effects he had on you.

Slowly and gently he parted your folds with his lips. It made you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, anticipating what would come next. He breathed against you letting cool air hit your molten core. You whimpered alerting him that your guard was fully down and that you were his now. He stuck his tongue out and slowly slid it over your entrance and up towards your clit. You gripped the sheets and gritted your teeth waiting for it.

The Bastard stopped and only continued to softly kiss around your thighs again.

“Eric, pleeeease. Please. I need more.” You cried as softly as you could hoping he could hear but no one else would.

Eric seemed to ignore your pleas. He planted a hot wet kiss right over your clit. His tongue darted out quickly causing you to jerk at the sudden attack. A strangled moan slipped up causing you to slap your hand over your mouth.

The man was cruel he had teased you until you couldn’t take it anymore. And now he was licking and sucking on your clit with no mercy. You couldn’t hold back anymore you let out soft quiet moan and your hips started to push up and down. The bed creaked quietly enough to make you slow your movements even though Eric didn’t let up. Your whole body shook and it wouldn’t be long before you spilled over the precipice.

“Fuck you’re wet.” Eric whispered against your hot folds as he slipped a finger inside of you. You were tight but so wet that his finger just slipped right in. He pushed in until he was buried up to his knuckles, then he flexed his finger around in search of your G-spot.

“No!” Was all you could say as he hit it. You wanted to scream and cry out how good he made you feel but you had to remain quiet.

He sucked on your clit, giving a few good thrusts with his finger before he had you mewling into your pillow. You came hard and Eric didn’t let up. There was no way to stay quiet at that point. You moaned loudly into the pillow gripping it so hard that your knuckles turned white and it started to become hard to breathe.

To your horror the bed creaked to your left and you both froze. Eric moved away from your thighs but laid still against the bed. You peeked out nervously from the pillow to see Will turning to face the wall. After what seemed like an eternity he stilled and his breathing went back to a deep almost snore like rhythm.

You took a deep breath and turned to Eric who was now positioning himself at your entrance. You could feel his tip at your entrance as he leaned forward one hand went to your mouth covering it fully to keep any moans or whimpers in the palm of his hand. His free hand gripped your shoulder as he pushed in. Your eyes fluttered as he stretched you and filled you up. You were thankful for his hand because a groan of pleasure erupted in your throat.

“Isn’t this better than fighting me all the time?” His voice deep and full of lust. He whispered into your ear before nipping at the lobe.

He didn’t give you much time to adapt to his size but from being well lubricated it didn’t hurt. He pulled back and pushed in slowly it was almost agonizing. You could feel every inch and detail of the shape of his cock pushing past your walls.

He grunted softly staring down at you. It was more for his pleasure to watch you squirm and moan for him than it was to be intimate with you. You thought to look away but your eyes were locked onto his. Those beautiful yet devilish blue eyes. You wrapped your legs around his waist and tried to match up with his thrusts.

Something changed and you suddenly felt like you could relax and totally let him take care of you. He kept his same slow tempo, only he was starting to push deeper a little harder. Every time he’d brush against your sweet spot, the patch of nerves deep within your sex. 

“Next time you mouth off to me at training. I’ll take you like this behind the punching bags.” Eric kissed your neck pushed in deep. You arched your back another orgasm slowly building this time it felt more intense.

“Would you like that? The risk of Four and everyone knowing what a slut you are for me?” Eric gripped your shoulder tighter and pumped in and out of you faster.

The metal frame creaked in the room. All noises seemed to echo around the cement structure and Eric didn’t seem to care anymore if someone heard you. You moaned lewdly into his hand. Both your eyes became glassy as both of you neared your ecstasy. Eric grunted a deep and guttural grunt you could almost feel it through his chest. You begged him with your eyes. He seemed to know what you were saying. He moved his hand to replace it with his mouth. He kissed you passionately and hard as he picked up the pace. Both you were Moaning as your tongue sloppily danced in your mouths. His hand found your breasts and he flicked his thumbs over your nipples sending you faster over the edge.

Your arms wrapped around Eric’s neck and you held him tightly to you as if his oxygen was the only thing keeping you alive. Your toes curled and your body shook violently as your walls clenched and released. Eric groaned loving how tight you felt around his cock.

You felt sensitive and overheated as you came down from your high. Eric nestled himself in the nook of your neck as he neared his own orgasm.

“Eric, please don’t come in me.” You begged him calmly. You meant it but you were stuck in a world of bliss. You meant to say it confidently but your voice cracked into a soft moan. 

Eric only replied with growl as he pressed himself deep inside of you before coming himself. He stayed inside of you until he was sure there wasn’t even a drop left. Both of you lay there a hot sweaty mess. Eric didn’t lean back or pull out until he was completely soft. Once he did you could feel it drip out of you making a small puddle on the bed. Eric said nothing he just pulled up his pants and left.

———-

The next morning you felt sore and tired. You were still forced to get up early and to go to training. You knew today would be hell. All you wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep until tomorrow morning.

“Y/N are you ok?” Tris asked with look of worry on her face.

“Yeah, you look like shit.” Peter said pushing past to get ahead of the group. His comment and pushiness earned him a few eye rolls.

Your lack of sleep showed, you could barely throw an elbow or punch. You felt like a ghost trying to move a solid object. Eric walked by and everyone went silent. You swallowed hard and turned to see him staring at you. Once you made eye contact he smirked slightly, just enough for you to notice. He subtly licked his lips. That was it just that one gesture and you came undone. Your knees felt weak and the fire deep in your core came to life. You turned away and bit your lip, trying to focus on throwing some punches.

“Looks like I know how shut you up now.” Eric said in your ear sending shivers down your spine.

You would let Eric have his victory because now all you could think about was when the two of you would have a chance to be alone again.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Tomato - Tomato (one-shot)

Synopsis: One is an international rock-star. The other is his loyal assistant. Both are complete morons in love. Also - she’s allergic to tomatoes, and it is important.

This started off as something completely else. hope you enjoy :D

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Assistant!Reader

Genre: fluff, minor angst

Warnings: two idiots pining for one another, swearing, mentions of allergies and EpiPens

Word count: 3492

Being an assistant to someone famous wasn’t all glamourous parties and wild nights out with celebrities. It was scheduling last minute flights and not sleeping for three days straight as you packed a million bags and then repacked because their stylist sent you knew pieces and the old ones no longer fit the aesthetic of the week.           It was also making sure that they were up by six AM with a hot coffee at their bedside ready to help them wake up as you lay out a detailed plan of the day down to the minute, while you yourself basically only had a two-hour nap because you had to finish off 568 handwritten notes to be sent out to each of the contacts in their phone. Or at least that’s what Y/N’s life was like being the personal assistant to none other than the modern-day prince of rock Harry Styles.            Said rockstar was actually still asleep when Y/N entered his room, ripping open the curtains and letting in the rising sun. He groaned, pulling up the bedsheets that’d ridden down his form during the night. “Not that I don’t like seeing your gorgeous face in the mornings….” he mumbled into the covers. “But I don’t like seeing your face in the mornings when they start at six bloody AM.”           Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes, rubbing them in an attempt to get rid of the sleep that still lingered in her own body. “You were the one that said you’re fine with seeing Lambert at eight for a fitting.”           “When did I say that?” Harry scoffed, only the top of his messy bedhead seen from the cocoon he’d built around himself.           “Would you like me to pull up the text messages, the calendar or the e-mails?”           Even with her back turned as she rummaged through his closet for him to put on some clothes, she could sense the middle finger he threw at her, and she smiled.           Despite everything, despite the zero sleep and stress always coursing through her veins, Y/N loved working for him. He treated her as a friend, not just some lackey he paid to, but most importantly, comparatively to the other people she’d worked for in the same line of business – he treated her as a human.           If something went over the deadline, Harry didn’t scream or yell at her and tell Y/N how incompetent she was, instead he asked what kind of help or assistance she needed to get the job done, or maybe if she just needed some time off to gather herself and look at the problem with fresh eyes.           “I hate how organised you are,” Harry groaned, finally throwing the covers off.           “If I wasn’t, you’d be in a ditch somewhere.”           She heard him scoff and two feet plop against the hardwood floor as he made his way towards her. “Is that how little faith you have in me?”           “You don’t even know what day it is!”           “Who does in these times?”           Y/N shrugged her shoulders and handed him a pair of boxers, some loose jeans, and a flowery Hawaiian shirt. “Are you telling me I’m wrong though?”           She looked over to her side, a smirk playing on her lips while he squinted his green eyes at her. “No, but it doesn’t mean I like getting called out, especially this early in the morning.”

          With a roll of her eyes and a shove at his shoulder for him to move to the bathroom, Y/N handed him the clothes, moving downstairs to start making him some light breakfast and get herself a cold glass of water.           You see, she’d been working as his assistant for close to two years, and they’d grown not only as people around one another, challenging their beliefs and world views, but as friends too. And, well, Y/N would be lying if the emotions hadn’t evolved from platonic to falling in love. Not that she’d ever admit it. He was an international sensation, and she was the girl who got him vegetarian croissants at the airport.           She dragged a hand down her face as she clicked the stove on and took out a carton of eggs from the fridge. Y/N knew how he liked his omelette to the T, mostly because when she’d spent the first night of quarantine with him a year prior right as the pandemic had started, Harry had wanted to do something nice because she couldn’t go and see her family any more, so he’d gotten up at seven to make breakfast for both of them. The only problem was, he hadn’t asked if she had any allergies, so as he added bits of tomatoes, parsley, cheese and scallions, Harry hadn’t expected Y/N’s eyes to go wide at the first bite as she dropped the fork.           “Harry…” Her tone had been cautious. “What’s in this?”           He was sweating. Was his cooking really that bad? He just wanted to do something nice and there he was screwing everything up. “ ‘S just some of my favourite things. I’m sorry I didn’t ask, I just thought you’d like it.”            “I do, but this tastes like it has tomatoes in it.”           He nodded. “Yeah. It does.”           Gently she smiled at him and pushed the plate a bit further away. “Could you grab me a coat, and if you have any – an EpiPen?”           “An Epi – oh shit!” When the realisation hit him, Harry was jumping out of his seat, running to one of the cupboards and rummaging through in a panic all the while apologies flew non-stop from his mouth.           Y/N in the meantime had gathered her purse and mask, making a call to the nearest hospital to explain the situation to which they responded they’d be waiting for her arrival.           “I’m so sorry!” Harry ran up to her, a first-aid kit in his shaking hands. “Please don’t die! I didn’t want to kill you, I promise! I just wanted to make you some breakfast cause you do so much for me, and now you’re stuck here, and – oh god,” he cried. “I’m going to be prosecuted for killing my assistant.”           She didn’t mean to, but the snort came out of her nose either way. “Harry.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Please calm down. I’m not going to die.”           “You’re allergic!”           “Yes, I am, but I only had a small bite. The ER is just a precaution.” Y/N took his palms in hers and squeezed them. “Now take a deep breath with me…” They did so, holding it for five seconds and letting it out for eight. “And calm down a bit. I’ll go give myself the shot, and then I’ll drive to the hospital.”           “Let me,” Harry begged. “Please, let me at least drive you to the emergency room. God, I almost killed you with an omelette, it’s the least I can do. I – I could also help you with the shot, I won’t hit an artery, I promise -”           “Harry, you’re barely coherent. Not to say anything, but you’d have a bigger chance of killing me in a car crash, than from that tomato.” Y/N gave him a smile. “I’m gonna be fine.”           With that, she left him to venture into the bathroom and did the unpleasant part of stabbing herself in the thigh to alleviate her body from the allergy symptoms. She sat there for around five minutes before she felt that the swelling of her tongue and itching in her throat was starting to subside, which meant the epinephrine was working.           “Okay,” she huffed, taking her purse from the couch where Harry had been sitting, hugging the accessory. “I’ll be back in probably around two hours. Do we need anything from the store?”           He shook his head. “Just come back home, please.”           Y/N would never admit how her heart thundered in her chest when Harry said to come back ‘home’. “I will.” She promised. “Don’t you worry. You’re not getting rid of me that easy, Styles. The money’s too good.” She winked at him and then left Harry pouting on the couch, but she couldn’t get through the door, before he jumped up, yelling, “wait! Do I need to get rid of every tomato in the house?”           “No,” she laughed. “I’m good to be around them. Even touch them. ‘S just my insides that don’t agree with it when they meet.”           “Okay.” He nodded, hands on his hips. “Alright. I’ll uh – I’ll be waiting. I’ll make you something else.”           “There’s no need for that, Harry.”           His eyes widened at her words. “I swear I’m not trying to murder you!”           “Oh my god,” she muttered shaking her head. “Just – just relax. Okay. I’ll send you hourly updates.”           He bit his lip. “Make it every ten minutes.”           “Harry –,”           “Please?” The way he was giving her puppy dog eyes melted her heart.           With an eye-roll, Y/N waved at him and promised to update her boss at every possible moment and confirm that he hadn’t, in fact, been the reason for her demise. Well, he was the reason for the demise of her low standards in men, having taken them and thrown them up to the Moon, but unless her feelings were miraculously requited or if one of the Marvel characters, she was obsessed with came to life, she’d have to stick to what was available. And in her mind, that wasn’t Harry.           “What are you thinking about?” His voice startled Y/N out of the memory, and she shook her head, adding salt and pepper to the beaten eggs.           She shrugged. “Just about that time a year ago where you secretly tried to off me because you were too nice to say you didn’t wanna quarantine together.”           The groan he let out was of royal embarrassment, and it put a wide smile on her face, as she took one of the forsaken fruits and started to chop the red ball into small pieces.           “You’ll never let me live it down, are you?”           Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “Your failed murder attempt?” She snorted. “Of course not! It’s like you don’t watch the crime shows and murder documentaries when I have them on. You really haven’t learned anything.”           Harry stuck his tongue out at her and moved to her side, dropping some chives into the mix as well. “Well given how it wasn’t a murder attempt, I wouldn’t consider it a fail.”           Her hip bumped his, and only then did Y/N really give him a once-over. As always, he looked amazing in whatever was on his body, but what made him even cuter in her eyes was the sleepiness still lingering in him.           Harry’s movements were a little bit sluggish, eyes half-closed and small sighs passing his lips as he sipped onto the coffee she’d come to his place with. The shirt sat loosely on his body, the first two buttons left open while he’d tucked the bottom of it into the jeans, having found a Gucci belt and cinched it around his waist, giving it a more eighties look rather than the sixties vibe he usually had with his suits.           The brown hair was still messy and dishevelled, and Y/N could barely, just barely restrain herself from running her fingers through it, but what she didn’t know Harry was struggling just as much.           All he wanted to do was pull out the bottom lip Y/N had gotten in between her teeth and kiss her senseless, to have her fingers dig into his arms and leave crescent shaped imprints on his skin.           “So, uh…” He had to start a conversation otherwise his mouth would find itself on Y/N’s mouth in a second. “What’s Lambert got in his schedule? How many outfits is he thinking?”           “Two or three, I think,” she said, pouring the mixture on the pan and letting the slow sizzle erupt around them. “He’s got this one suit which I think you’ll really like – all leather, but it needs to be altered.”           Harry hummed, and for a second both of them relished in the domestic feel of it all. They’d had many moments like it before, especially during the spring and summer seasons of 2020, and Y/N couldn’t help but relish in her memories at them.           “Harry?” It was like her voice snapped him out from a trance. “Could you pass me a plate please?’           “Uh, yeah,” he stammered for a moment and then nodded, wordlessly going to a cupboard and taking out a white marbled plate. That single piece of kitchenware probably cost more than her life insurance, but it was definitely aesthetic if nothing else.           Silently Y/N plopped the omelette onto the plate, placing it on the kitchen counter and went to get him a fork, however when she turned around, he was facing her, chewing quite agressively on the inside of his cheek.           “You okay?” she asked, coming closer. “I can call Lambert, reschedule it for later. He wouldn’t be too happy about having to wake up and then – “           But Harry shook his head. “It’s not that.”           “Then what?”           He didn’t say anything. It was like he was trying to decipher the best course of action, and when he ultimately did, Y/N was pressed up against the counter, Harry’s forehead against hers with two ring-clad hands cupping her cheeks.           “Harry,” she breathed, out her lips brushing his making the air in her lungs hitch. “What are you doing?”           “Something I’ve been dying to do for a year now. If you let me that is.”           “I -,” The words were muddled up in her head. Of course, Y/N wanted him to kiss her, she wanted him to ravish every part of her body. The fantasies and dreams she’d had at night would be incriminating proof if her feelings were on trial, but despite it all, her brain was usually in charge and would overrule any decision made by her heart. “Harry, we can’t.” She whispered, voice breaking.           “I -,” Horror morphed onto his features as he took a step back. “Did I misread the signals? Did I do something you don’t wan –“           “No.” She grabbed onto his cheeks, trying to calm him down, his body practically melting into hers. “I do.” She didn’t need to explain what she meant. He understood. “So much it hurts me sometimes… but Harry, you’re my boss. My employer. It… it wouldn’t be right.”           “Why? How can it not be right, when it feels like the rightest thing in the world?”           “Because, Harry,” she huffed. “You’re my boss. And what’s worse – I love working for you!”           That made both of them laugh, the tone of her voice as if she was more annoyed than anything else. “ ‘Nd why’s that bad?” He nudged her nose with his. “I’d hope my employees like working with me. What kind of a person would I be if I thrived on them being miserable?”           “Because if I didn’t, quitting would be easy.” She raised her eyebrow at him. “And if I quit there’d be nothing stopping us from dating.”           Harry bit his lip, finger trailing along her cheekbone. “There’s nothing stopping us now either. There is no clause in your contract that says you can’t date people who you work for or with. Sarah’s with Mitch, and they’re the happiest they’ve ever been. They’re even having a baby…”           Y/N gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know. But that’s different. They’re on equal levels. You and I, however… I don’t want people to think I got my job because I slept with you, or some shit. It’s bad enough some already do so.”           His brows furrowed, and Y/N saw how his jaw clenched. “Who?”           “Strangers.” She shrugged. “I know you don’t look at comments like that online, but I see them. My DMs are filled with that. Gossip magazines. The point is – there are already unsubstantiated rumours about us. This would give them the confirmation they’d need.”           “How can it confirm something that’s not true?”           “There are still people who believe vaccines cause autism. Even when their ‘proof’ has been discredited and shown to be just complete bullshit, most don’t like to admit they’re wrong, so they’ll look for whatever tells them they’re right.”           Harry huffed throwing his head back to look at the ceiling. “So, where does that leave us? In love, but without being able to do anything about it? Because I can’t.” He shook his head. “I won’t be able to just pass you by without kissing you, or not pull you into the bed when you wake me up, or press you against the wall and not have my head between these two gorgeous legs.”           Y/N groaned slapping his chest and dropping her forehead against his peck. “That is so unfair. Why do you have to tease me like that!”           “Oh, sweetheart.” The rumble was deep and shot a wave of heat straight to her core. “This is no teasing.” The smirk on his face when she looked up at him was shit-eating. “Trust me, if I was teasing, you’d be begging for me.”           She’d imagined him between her thighs more times than it was appropriate considering he was her boss, but hot damn, did it feel amazing when his lips crashed onto hers, and she let him. In her dreams, his lips hadn’t been just pressed to her mouth but other places which were more south, but it was still one of the best feelings in the world.           The kiss left them both breathless, and grinning and satisfied, yet begging for more, teeth nipping at the soft flesh.           “I’ll put out an official statement, if you want,” Harry muttered against her mouth, unable to stop pecking her lips now that’d he’d gotten a taste. “But please, please, please… for both our sanities go out on a date with me.”           It seemed like Y/N was the one contemplating the best plan of action now when her brows furrowed and she looked up at him, pressing and unpressing her lips, as the swelling from the kiss grew. “Did you by any chance have a piece of that omelette already?” She had a suspicion it wasn’t just from the kiss.           His eyes widened, and then his head dropped to her shoulder. “Not again!”           Y/N rolled her eyes lifting his face by the chin so he would look at her. “How about EpiPen first?”           “Fair enough,” Harry grumbled unlatching himself from her and going for his keys and wallet, already preparing for the short drive they’d have to take. “But then a date?”           She raised her eyebrow, taking out the box Harry now kept under the sink with at least three EpiPen’s for emergencies. “In a hospital?”           “We could be going dumpster diving for all I care, and I’d count it as a date.”           Y/N rolled her eyes. “You’ll have to do so much better than that; you’ve almost put me in anaphylactic shock twice. Now come on.” She motioned with her head towards the bathroom. “Stab me and take me to the ER.”           “Fucking tomatoes,” Harry grumbled, taking her by the hand and not letting it go even for the short walk.           “Tomato-tomato, you’re the one that kissed me.”           “That I don’t regret.”           Y/N smiled, turning towards him, and taking him by the nape of his neck pulled Harry down for one more kiss, groaning at the feeling of his tongue dancing against hers.           “Y/N!” He pulled back with a gasp, shock on his face.           She just shrugged her shoulders. “We’re already going to see the doctors anyway.”           Harry pushed her shoulder and made her sit down onto the toilet. “Take your pants off before my kisses kill you.”           “Yes, daddy.” Y/N wiggled her eyebrows as Harry moaned, squeezing her calf.            His eyes were dark as he looked up at her. “Next time this happens, you’ll be begging me.”           Her wicked smile was so full of happiness he couldn’t help the one that grew on his face. “I’ll be keeping you to it. Now, dear sir.” She handed him the EpiPen. “Hit me with your best shot.”           And although it’d been now two times in their lives where Harry trying to do something good and make the other feel just as good had done pretty much the opposite, when they got to the emergency room, their smiles could be felt even under their masks           Harry watched with blushing cheeks as Y/N explained the situation to the nurse, especially when one of them threw him an unsavoury glance, eyebrow raised high as if saying ‘again? One time wasn’t enough?’.           “No more tomatoes.” He promised. “And also - it wasn’t on purpose!”           Y/N squeezed his palm, chuckling. She may not be able to give a shot at eating a tomato, but she sure as hell was going to give Harry one. After all, she had almost died for the man. Twice.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Harry Styles tags: @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​ @raylovessarcasm @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @harryhub​

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

A/N: I’m at work and I wanted to write a bit for my book, but hahahahahahaha I can’t stop procrastinating. Also, this was something comepletely else centered around Christmas, then New Year and the Valentines, but I just couldn’t and it morphed into this. Maybe this Holiday season when it rolls around I’ll post it :D

P.S. if anyone’s had a septoplasty (repositioning of the septum) - how was it? how painful is it? kinda starting my journey towards it cause apparently I can’t breathe out of my left nostril, but I’m kinda scared ngl. I’ve read some horror stories about having holes and pieces of the cartilage fall out afterwards :/// 

P.S.S. what did ya think? my tags are always open, just drop a message if you wanna be added :)

P.S.S.S please don’t plagiarise or repost my work on other platforms (wattpad, AO3 etc)