#but I had to finish it today

[disinherited-dornishman]

In honour of @helaenasbestfriend 's insane tags on my post, which inspired this two part trash from my end.

Part 1

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, fantasies of regicide. TW: offscreen marital SA in part 2, because that's what doing one's duty as Alicent Hightower pertains.

Part 2/2

His prayers go unanswered.

Criston is stone, cold and hard, a gargoyle once more. He does not take his eyes off the wall opposite his post.

Soft creaking. Not his sword's leather hilt.

He thought back to Ser Arlan's oath, the weight of his blade on Criston's shoulders. "In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the young and the innocent. In the name of the Maiden, I charge you to defend all women." He felt the warmth of pride as though he was back in the Marshes at this very moment. The clasp Ser Arlan's hand around his forearm, a clap on his shoulder, and respect from a knight he looked up to all his boyh-

A whimper pierces the creaking of the bed and the King's panting.

It is for his sins that she is being punished, he knows it. The Gods see his desires when he prays to them. The violence. The vengeance. The rage. The love. They see the hearts of all their faithful.

He closes his eyes at the soft, strangled cry.

He would pray for mercy for his Queen, but he's learned his lesson and instead gives prayer for forgiveness, before he goes away inside again.

"Ser Criston!"

The Prince Aemond ran to him with an eagerness not his wont, and he couldn't help but freeze in surprise. "What is it, my prince?"

"Aegon needs your help."

His smile kept Criston from mistaking this for an emergency, but he followed his energetic prince with due speed toward a path he swiftly recognized as leading to Queen Alicent's solar. When he entered, shrieks greeted him, and he sighed at the sight of Princess Helaena, rather calmly, chasing Prince Aegon with an insect of some sort.

"He only wants to meet you, Aegon," she said, wholly sincere.

"Get it the fuck away!"

"Children!" They stopped and a brief wave of embarrassment washes over him that he had spoken to his royal charges in such a manner. But he was also relieved the cacophany stopped. "Princess."

"Hello, Ser Criston."

"Get the she-beast away from me," Aegon commanded, wild-eyed and watching his sister warily.

"An unworthy thing to call your sister," he chided. "Princess, please stop whatever you're doing if it's making Aegon scream? I beseech you. Otherwise some guard must leave their post as I have to stop it."

"Apologies, Ser."

"You're sorry for that but not for me?" Aegon was in disbelief.

From beside him, Aemond laughed, and the sound had Criston suppressing a smile of his own.

The smile broke along with the memory, when the door behind him opens.

He dares not look anywhere but ahead as King Viserys steps out, feet and cane tapping a cadence he has come to despise. His Grace stops before him, glancing, ashamedly perhaps, but he cannot tell for he will not look, cannot, or he might well start to truly consider the voice that is whispering from the dark corners of his mind.

The gods listen, he reminds himself. Remember your oath. Remember your honour. Protect her in this way from him, we cannot in any other.

Mercifully, as though the gods approve of his line of thought, Viserys Targaryen finally averts his eyes and lowered head, and leaves with Ser Harrold in tow.

He had forgotten the Lord Commander was beside him.

"I charge you to protect all women, Ser Arlan's voice said.

The silence was bliss this once, if only for the lack of his Queen's cries. Why the King had been rougher than usual this time, he could not say. Perhaps he missed his Aemma particularly today.

But the silence did not bring him peace much longer, for soon it began to unnerve him, and both his oath and his heart told him to enter her chambers and make certain of her safety, but the truth is that there is no safety he can bring her that is mentionable, and he could not chance that she might be indecent. He could not add to her pain, her humiliation.

He could not.

The agony of these minutes is much the same as it had been in the Boneway, when he awaited Ser Arlan's command to attack the watchtowers, not knowing if he would survive the skirmish.

But his queen breaks it as she breaks all his agonies, when she calls his name.

"Ser Criston."

He finally looks away from the wall, and finds his Queen pristine, in one of her mother's old green dresses. They always comfort her, and she keeps them in exceptional condition.

"My queen." His voice is strangled, but he finally breathes again.

Her sorrow is statuesque. She spares him a smile - and it is only now that he notices her upper lip is split.

His cold fury must be evident. "My own doing, not my husband's."

For the better, or I would have made you a widow. His eyes widen and he quickly averts his gaze. Damned fool! Banish these thoughts before she is punished any further for your-

"Please," she says, and he starts as her finger brushes his fist. "I would not have you worry for me, Ser."

"It is my duty," he says, "as your protector."

"And this is mine," she says. Her smile pierces his heart like a knife. "Put it from your mind. Please."

Despite her calm, he recognizes her need, the desperation in her eyes, and finds he is capable of anything to fulfil it. Even forgetting the King's sins. "As you command."

"Will you pray with me? At the sept? I'm afraid I am in no state to be seen by the children yet."

"You honour me, your grace."

Her smile becomes a little less tired, and his own agony abates some as they make their way to the sept that had become his haven these past years. He ignores the failure in her step, for fear of the thoughts that would arise if he didn't.

The prayer is small solace tonight. But her presence, the realness and safety of her being beside him after having to listen to... her duties, more than makes up for it. He finds himself thinking more of her bitten, bloody lip than the words of prayer his mother had taught him. Today they knelt before the Maiden, and he catches part of her words under her breath.

She prays for a child to come to life, and its health to be good.

It is a prayer in which he joins. For even this child would be dear to him as Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond already are. A light in the darkness. The only good to come from Viserys Targaryen, yet but a drop in the ocean that is his Good Queen Alicent.

"Will you tell me what plagues you, Ser?" she says, waiting for him by the door of the sept when they've finished their prayer. He's looping his scabbard about his waist.

"Forgive me." He promised to put the incident out of his mind, yet words are wind. He cannot help but be haunted.

"There is nothing to forgive." She looks down, suddenly uncertain - for the first time this whole night, he is surprised to realize. "If you wish to speak, Ser Criston... I am here."

Disbelief. That's what he's feeling. He knows this - this, this is an offering of trust. An open hand extended. And his Queen is asking for his.

Gods, if he had known earlier-

"Of course, my queen. It is merely... I..."

"Yes?" Her uncertainty is replaced with relief, and curiosity.

"I fear I am at fault."

"At fault? Whatever for?"

He looks down, swallows the lump in his throat. "The gods see and hear all. We cannot hide our hearts from them, even if we can hide it from ourselves. I... the gods punish you for my thoughts. The... The unwell thoughts... that I spoke of."

When he finds the courage to look up, she watches him with soft, large eyes, and greets his confession with the kindest of smiles. "Sweet Ser... you are a fool."

His mind blanks. Fool? Sweet Ser?

His faculties are not helped when she steps closer. The moonlight through the stained glass is paler than the daylight's, and it enhances her beauty immeasurably, her skin and the auburn of her hair.

"This is not punishment," she says. "It is the duty of all wives, from Dorne to the Wall. I assure you that I have had similar nights long before I took you in my service. You are not at fault for my... pains."

He nods, feeling like a fool, and not at all sweet. Worse, selfish. He should be comforting her, not the other way about. "Of course..."

She is still smiling. His heart races. "Your concern is most welcome, however. You are a dear friend, Ser Criston."

"You honour me," he rasps.

"And you me."

"No," he shakes his head. "My thoughts-"

"Are only because you care for me, as a friend would."

The way she says the word friend... there is no doubt left in him. She knows, yet she accepts it. Gods be good. Madness grips him.

"Ask me to end your suffering."

She does not flinch, wonder, or turn. His Queen knows precisely what he is saying, and all she does is smile. It is so sorrowful the lump in his throat returns. "I cannot."

He shuts his eyes. He nods. "Of course. Forgive me, he is your king husband, I should never have- I am a beast, Your Grace, wild with fear and-"

She breathes a quiet laugh. "You do not understand, Ser. It is not for my husband I am concerned."

Queen Alicent does not elaborate in the silence, and it is all the explanation he needs. The air betwixt them is intoxicating. "They would not know it was by another's hand."

"I cannot chance that."

"Even if I was discovered, I would never give your name, not even to the Lord Confessor himself."

"Discovery does not frighten me. It is the loss of you I could not bear, dear friend. Who, Ser, would pray with me in this sept after the king's visits? Who could I trust to safeguard my children's lives?"

"... I understand." He did, truly. How long had she felt...

Her fingers weave through his, her eyes close as though in rest or repose. He is suddenly starved for nearness, and leans forward while she does the same.

His forehead rests against hers. Her warmth, the gentleness of her hands, so abiding and comforting. Her tired breath, the sweetest sound he knows.

They remain so, drawing strength from each other, until minutes pass. Or hours.

When finally they part, she looks at him with such fondness and trust his heart feels like to burst from it.

"We should go to the solar, Ser Criston, before the children go mad from eagerness."

The mention of them breaks him out of it enough that he finds his voice. "Eagerness?"

She laughs beautifully. "Oh, yes, I forgot. Helaena intends to surprise you with an insect from the Dornish Marshes. Be certain to act surprised."

He grins. How delightful. "As Her Grace commands."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, he recalls a tale he had heard of the gargoyles of Dragonstone, that they were more than they seemed. It is said that one day, the stone dragons would awaken. Some terrible battle against a foe, he couldn't recall.

Criston Cole was no dragon. Just one of the many grotesques. But he knew how to fight.

And when he saw in the training yard how the King favored the Darklyn knight, he knew precisely how to avenge his queen's pains.

Ser Rolland never breathed painlessly again.

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[makowcy]

widow

[hinamie]

sympathy for cain

[sanctus-ingenium]

VIII Strength redraw

[oso-nan]

are you an otaku too?

[barghest-arts]

Modern Prometheus.

[chiptrillino]

Trick or treat ! 🎃

TREAT!

Well just a wip so maybe a treat?

[couch-house]

"Do you know why I named you Mr. Incredible? It's because you love your family :)" -- Was honestly expecting a scene like this toward the end, but maybe we didn't need THAT much emotional excess. Which is to say, it's so perfect. It's so good. Shadow da freaking hedgehog......

[parisoonic]

can you draw some more medic and pauling...? I would love them just gossiping

have some doodles! Something something patient confidentiality....

[obsob]

hmm anyway. holds u in my arms

[canisalbus]

[benevolenterrancy]

I'm on chpt20 and I want to study SQQ like a bug. My man is flushed, hair down, robes literally falling off his shoulders, LBH on his lap playing with his hair and kissing him... and he finally cottons on to the fact that maybe this isn't how you have a platonic and important discussion. Enforces it for all of five seconds at which point LBH starts massaging his waist and SQQ is back to being like "yeah this is fine and normal". Amazing. Can't believe he insults the IQ of SQH's characters.

[lemongogo]

env practice ft the reunion scene

[velvetwyrme]

which deception would have an sti AND fuck cars?

in reference to: https://www.tumblr.com/penny-anna/767952128217104384/imagine-youre-a-mechanic-in-the-transformers?source=share

okay. so. first off. anon, thank you for sending me this because the idea that you read that post and just went- "hey, you know who i should pose this question to?" and sent it to me- is hysterical and i lvoe u.

anyway theres also a Texty answer under the cut if you want to read that, because i genuinely DO have thoughts about this, but i wanted to draw that comic because this ask made me laugh very hard when i saw it in my inbox.

also, the thrilling conclusion of the comic answer:

he fucked that car!!!!!!!

hi! Texty time. I think a lot of them would have/be one but not the other (either has a STI or is a Carfucker) but i included some of those here anyway because i think my thought process was funny for some of them. this is all purely my own opinions etc. etc. no basis for anything only vibes. i went through a lot of options and came to a lot of conclusions.

to reiterate the Chart for claritys sake:

Soundwave: No STI and no Carfucking. This is true across all versions of Soundwave imo. Rumble and Frenzy are a solid no on the STI front and a solid yes on the Carfucking.

Starscream: no STI, no Carfucking (despite what Soundwave thinks). TFP!Starscream specifically might have an STI though. Sorry man. Skywarp definitely has/had a STI but gets it treated on account of his trinemates. No Carfucking. Thundercracker would fuck a car but doesn't have an STI.

Shockwave: ??? - I'm not sure I want to know. "Once, as part of an experiment" was the original thing I wrote for his answer lol. True across continuities as well.

Anyway. moving on...

My actual answer for Megatron: REALLY depends on continuity. Here's a sample:

G1? Yeah, probably both. I can see it.

IDW/MTMTE? Nah. Maybe? ... Nah. I feel like if he had an STI it'd have been back when he was a miner. Would not fuck a car.

Earthspark? I feel like no STI but yes to the Carfucking. Except he feels really guilty about it after. I still haven't watched ES but this is the impression I get from him.

TFA? oh god. i don't know... i don't know....... he probably fucks cars. No STI.

TFP? Yeah absolutely are u kidding me? Yes to both.

Constructicons: I feel like they'd be a yes to both, but not at the same time, so they wouldn't have been the one/s to transmit a STI to a car. Also Hook would be ON TOP of treatment. Once they ALL got infected after combining into Devastator, and that was miserable for everyone. Nobody has fessed up to being the one who had it in the first place, but now they have treatment on hand just in case.

Also while on the topic of combiners... I think some of the Stunticons are also pretty good candidates for STI/Carfucking. Motormaster, Drag Strip and Wildrider in particular shfkgbekfbk

I considered Tarn/The DJD and Overlord just because of how freaky them guys can get, but I think Tarn runs too tight a ship for that to happen, and Overlord is preoccupied with. worse things. The Scavengers on the other hand... sorry to Misfire, I can see him giving a car a STI. Relatedly, Grimlock would fuck a car but not have an STI.

Who else................................ wait.

Astrotrain. I can see it. Okay bye im going to sleep this took me too long to reply to fhfjfbrmfbdj

[storytellerdannie]

hey guys, what the FUCK? I’m gonna need sister Daniel to cleanse my entire brain the way none of my thoughts are holy