#but I had a vision and needed to get it out of my head STAT
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rozugold · 1 year ago
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I slapped my pencil all over my screen for an hour and a half and this appeared
Based on @sunlitmcgee’s latest fic :’]
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jlheon · 1 year ago
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୨୧ — hoodie (psh)
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pairing. brothers bff! park sunghoon x fem! reader synopsis. you're going out & need a hoodie genre. fluff wc. 974 notes. ft. hee library.
“hee?” you called out as you walked down the hallway to your older brother’s bedroom. “can i borrow your black hoodie?”
twisting the door knob of heeseung’s room and bursting through the door. eyes naturally shifting to your older brother’s desk since he was always on his computer when he was home.
only to be met with an empty chair and a figure on the bed that was certainly not your brother.
“he’s in the shower,” the boy on the bed spoke up.
“oh thanks!” you smiled awkwardly, unable to recognize which one of heeseung’s friends was currently talking to you. “who are you?”
“you’re not wearing your glasses are you?” he got up from his spot on the bed and made his way towards you.
as the black-haired individual got closer your breath hitched. he stopped directly in front of you and towered over you. his hair slightly messy with bangs barely touching his eyes and glasses.
it was none other than park sunghoon.
“hoon?” you questioned, he looked extremely different from when you had last seen him.
his hair was shorter and looked nice enough that you could tell he had just cut it recently. it was fluffy and probably a little tangled, sticking up in some places around his head. though the glasses were completely new, you had never seen him wear any before.
“didn’t recognize me?” he let out a low chuckle, his voice making your stomach flip.
“you cut your hair,” you reached your hand up to his head attempting to smooth one particular strand that was poking out. “since when did you get glasses?”
“a couple of weeks ago,” he brought his hand up to bring down yours that was trying to fix his hair. sunghoon’s hand clasped around your wrist, keeping you from doing anything further to his newly styled hair. “why aren’t you wearing yours?”
“they’re in my room,” you said, eyes flickering to the light hold he had on you and then back up at him.
“you’re practically blind,” sunghoon joked. “how could you not recognize me?” he brought the hand that was holding your arm to his chest pretending you were stabbing him.
“you just look really different and blurry,” you defended yourself. “plus you are also blind now too if you need glasses!”
“it’s a stylistic choice ____,” he dropped the grip on your arm, removing the glasses from his face, and placed them on your face. “they’re fake.”
you looked around the room to see that your vision had not at all been affected by his glasses. everything looked just as fuzzy as before.
“you said you needed a hoodie?”
that was right. you got so distracted by sunghoon’s new look that you forgot that hyeju was on the way and probably almost at your house. you were wasting time, but you couldn’t help but gush in your head about how pretty sunghoon looked.
you took his glasses off and placed them back on the bridge of his nose.
“yeah i have to leave soon but hee’s not out yet.”
“why don’t you just wear mine,” sunghoon suggested.
you moved your gaze from his face down to his hoodie. it was plain black, nothing special but you must admit it looked comfortable. but maybe the fact it belonged to sunghoon made it more appealing to you.
“are you sure?” you asked meeting his eyes again.
instead of answering you, he stepped back slightly from you and held the bottom of his sweater. as he removed the garment over his head you couldn’t help but notice when his shirt got caught, lifting and revealing a faint glimpse of his abs. heat rushing to your cheeks.
“here,” he said once he finally had the black hoodie off completely.
he saw the remnants of blush that spread on your cheeks and laughed. you stood there unmoving, causing sunghoon to raise the hoodie to your head and put it on for you.
you poked your arms through the sleeves while still keeping eye contact with him. putting the piece of clothing on caused your hair to get staticky, so sunghoon returned your gesture from minutes before and combed his fingers through it to smoothen it out.
“thanks, hoon,” you finally spoke. “are you still going to be here when i get home so i can give it back to you?”
“probably,” he started. “but you can keep it, you look cute.”
again you felt heat rush up your neck and spread past your cheeks. you let out a nervous smile as you fiddled with the sleeves. the smell of his cologne wafted off the material and filled your senses. 
sunghoon gave you a brief pat on your head and ruffled your hair. the moment quickly turned into a comfortable silence with his fingers still running through your hair.
the sound of your phone ringing in your back pocket broke the silence between the two of you. hyeju was probably outside waiting for you.
“bye hoon!” you yelled walking out of the bedroom and down the stairs. “thanks for the hoodie!”
“don’t forget your glasses ____,” he reminded you.
sunghoon watched as you emerged back from the stairs, and back into your room on the opposite end of the hall.
heeseung had stepped out of his bathroom and caught a glimpse of you in a hoodie that was neither yours nor his. he looked over to see sunghoon was now clad a plain white t-shirt, recalling that he had been wearing a hoodie when he had gone to shower.
“why is my sister wearing your hoodie?” heeseung raised an eyebrow at his friend, ruffling his hair with the towel around his neck.
“why not?” sunghoon smiled, going back to rest on heeseung’s bed.
heeseung let out a loud sigh and threw his wet towel at sunghoon’s head.
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lxcke · 6 months ago
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My Hancock Headcanons
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Some of these are a little OOC from the game but I'm rewriting the Commonwealth to have darker and more realistic overtones. 1.9k words.
Can't bring himself to take Daytripper anymore. The euphoric effects hooked him hard for a while and it's one of the reasons why he used to do benders so much.
Doesn't wear the red frock coat while out adventuring because he can't bear the thought of getting it burned up or ruined.
Some hair follicles survived on the top of his head and there are tiny tufts of platinum silver hair that grow in. He lost his hair pigment in the ghoulification process, and they fall out or break off before the strands can get very long as it's very brittle.
Tries to one-hand his double-barrel shotgun like a flintlock pistol and regularly messes up his wrist joint because of the kickback.
His eyes appear pitch black, but if you look closely or shine a light on them, you'll notice that his eyes are actually just a really, really dark red from burst blood vessels (radiation poisoning side-effect). In some areas where the black hasn't taken over, there are broken flecks of grey in there.
Hancock is a caffeine junkie.
He deals with fatigue and arthritis from ghoulification (his bones did not take kindly to the radiation.) The pain lessens during radstorms, where he feels incredibly rejuvenated, and often hyper.
Favors Mentats and Jet because they're "less heavy" chems. He takes the Mentats to help himself properly fulfil the role as a responsible mayor. Long-term use has led to him learning a lot in a short time span, leading to his extremely high INT stat.
He favors Jet because it helps sooth the fire in his brain after overdoing work on Mentats. They balance each other out.
Used to wear a lot of jewelry and had piercings in his youth but found out the hard way that they snag during a fight, so they had to go.
Keeps his switchblade(s) in his boot.
Was taught how to sew by his mom as a kid and is now the guy everyone goes to when they end up with holes in their clothes. He keeps his John Hancock getup in good condition.
Isn't a huge fan of swimming. He can swim but it makes him feel incredibly uneasy. He needs his boots on the ground.
Bad temperature regulation. He gets cold at a slight breeze and hot on a sunny day. His tricorn hat keeps the sun off of him.
Some people headcanon that he has heightened senses, but I beg to differ. The dude has bad vision. He uses a shotgun so it's harder to miss. You'll often catch him squinting at documents and terminals. He knows the smell of specific chemicals like the back of his hand, but he doesn't necessarily pick up scents "better."
E.g. you'll both catch a whiff of something weirdly metallic, and he just pops off with, "ah, yes, Psychojet with a little too much jet saturation and a smidge of black mold in the container. Feelin' bad for whoever just took that; that's some low-quality stuff."
Back in his human days, he was a degenerate junkie back in Diamond City. He was a sleazeball with high charisma; let's just leave it at that.
DC guards would regularly sweep him off the curb near the Dugout Inn or bust him selling chems to the locals behind the stands.
As alluded to in the game dialogue, Hancock would go on benders in Goodneighbor and would often shack up with the locals. He used sex as an escape almost as frequently as chems. He has a lot of experience due to this, but he also has his fair share of "horror stories."
He's now a lot pickier about who he shares a mattress with, but whoever gets lucky with Hancock? Say goodbye to your dignity because he will systematically destroy that shit just because he feels like it.
Gave the player character chems so they'd get hooked and be dependent on him to provide. He was buying insurance so they wouldn't betray him if push came to shove. He also just wanted a smoke buddy for the road.
Hancock is a selfish person. He wears the "easygoing helpful stoner friend" persona to try and make right for his previous sins. "Hancock" is the good guy face. "John" is a cynical bastard.
Only his closest, most trusted friends will ever call him John or see that side of him.
Often can't sit still and has sensory-seeking tendencies (just a smidge touch of the ADHD. Could be a side effect of chem-usage as well.)
As a young child, he grew up in a waterfront cabin with his older brother and mother. His father was a drifter and was rarely seen. John can't remember his name or face well, but his mom is a shining star in his memory.
John falls back into the Daytripper habit after finding out his brother was replaced with a synth. The player character pulls him out of it if they're close enough. If not, he keeps it quiet. Nobody will notice, right?
His eyes are very mirror-like and have that "red-eye glow" effect when a bright light is directed at him. Sometimes, in the heat of battle, one can literally see the fire reflected back in his eyes. It's high-key freaky.
Has the subtle air of inhumanity about him. He sometimes moves in a way that makes you question if he's real or not (e.g. standing way too still, movements too rigid or too fluid.) He's probably just really high when this happens.
Riffing off some dialogue from the game, Hancock has been dealing with hallucinations all his life. He blames it on the chems, but he's too afraid to admit he's probably just a tad psychotic from wasteland living. This is also a known PTSD symptom, which he won't touch on the subject of with a ten-foot pole.
"You see 'em, too?" he says jokingly whilst sweating bullets.
When he gets particularly high, one might catch him listening to some very strange experimental jazz. He'll never admit to this.
Riffing off of Danny Shorago's beautiful musical performances, this dude can absolutely slam out vocals like a pro. Isolation in the wasteland leads to completely useless talents. He absentmindedly sung along to Diamond City radio to himself one too many times and well, one thing led to another...
Took over for Magnolia at the Third Rail on one of her off days. Never did it again. Will never mention it happened.
Attention whore and heavily ashamed of it. He stabbed a guy in the first ten seconds of meeting the player character, but if you tell him he was showing off, he'll deny it.
Will happily bum a preserved cigarette off of the player character if they have any.
He has nine toes and walks a little funny because of it. Jack Sparrow with a limp.
Was not raised in the era of soap. Due to the game labeling soap as junk, Hancock will ridicule the player character for picking it up. He doesn't understand what it is; it just looks like a stick of lard to him.
Doesn't use soap (dirty wastelander behavior.) He keeps two pine-scented car fresheners hanging on the inside of his coat. He calls them "coat fresheners."
The sweat glands in his skin were burned off so he doesn't smell incredibly bad, there's just this weird dusty ozone smell to him... he'll take a dip in the river to get the grime off, but he doesn't like how cold it makes him afterwards.
Standard sex-education does not exist in the wasteland. It's incredibly rare to meet a wastelander who views sex as recreational, and not a clinical way to make as many babies as possible. It's also incredibly rare to meet a wastelander with any kind of clue of what they're doing in bed. This makes Hancock a literal gem, and it's probably why he has so much sway with the people. Per Bobbi No-Nose: "Everyone is so damn afraid of him or so damn in love with him. He thinks he is invincible."
Slams Dirty Wastelanders like they are water. He has a specific taste for mutfruit and sweet drinks.
Fahrenheit is indeed Hancock's daughter, but she was a bastard "oopsie baby" he didn't find out about until she was well in her adulthood. She's not inclined to tell him, nor does he want to acknowledge it. He was never a father to her, and she knows he doesn't want to be... not that she cares. They stick together out of an awkward unspoken need to make sure the other stays alive, though. Neither of them have the willpower to bring it up to each other.
Her mother was a fling situation with a cute ginger in some small settlement miles from Goodneighbor back before he was a ghoul. Count on his surprise when a particularly fierce ginger girl shows up on his doorstep many years later sporting his bright grey eyes looking for a job. What was he supposed to do, tell her to get lost?
Has an under-the-table deal with the Railroad and allows them to operate in Goodneighbor. Has a disdain for Deacon though, because his first language is bullshit, and Hancock's first language is "rooting out bullshit."
Food of choice is wherever the munchies lead him. The few things he can't stomach usually fall into the category of "200 years old." He'll eat bug if it's cooked well enough; anything that can be hunted or picked as a crop is on the menu. Salvaged food, though? Like the dusty remains of Sugar Bombs or unrefrigerated Salsbury Steak? He couldn't be paid to eat those.
Leave it to the player character to introduce him to spices and seasoning. Like any wastelander would, Hancock sort of turns into a rabid, frothing dog at good cooking.
He spends his leisure nights at the Third Rail among his people.
Reliving his memories at the Memory Den has led to some rather intense experiences. His frequent usage of Mentats has led to a rather interesting side-effect of being able to hyper-analyze what he has seen while using one of the machines. He has used this to his advantage by going over encounters he's had with various gang leaders or political interactions with settlement leaders.
He's able to catch details using this method that many others fail to. He is frequently one step ahead of the game.
Liver failure was beginning to catch up to him before he went ghoul. Now, the symptoms have miraculously vanished... he takes full advantage of this.
In a particularly bad moment in his life, Hancock once seriously considered cannibalism. It's made him weary of the dangers of hunger, so he always has some sort of snack on-hand or at least nearby. He's a very, "you do what you gotta" person, but it personally scares the shit out of him when the scarcity of the world corners him.
He made a pact with Fahrenheit to shoot him if he ever showed the warning signs of going feral. It gives him a little peace knowing he won't end up wandering the streets in a confused, violent stupor one day, but the looming deterioration from his ghoulish nature keeps him up at night, sometimes. He knows the day will come eventually.
"No warning, no fuss. Don't tell me, just do it. Got a plan to keep your name clear in the event my peeps want to know why you eighty-sixed their beloved mayor."
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munsonsmixtapes · 10 months ago
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Okayyy can I request reader walking in on Eddie Diaz getting himself off, they are colleagues kinda friends both have secret feels. Honestly I just want anything to do with him my mind is ridden with thoughts of Eddie Diaz lately.
roommate!Eddie x fem!reader
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) masturbation, Eddie receives a handjob
You and Eddie had been living together for months now and things had been going pretty smoothly. He was a good roommate as far as you were concerned. He always cleaned up around the apartment when he made a mess and would be super quiet if he came home late from work.
And it didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes. Any of the friends you brought over would always try to shoot their shot but he always told them that he wasn't interested. That was because he was harboring a giant crush on you and he was waiting around for you to feel the same way.
But that was only because he couldn't get over you. He tried. Any woman he'd sleep with, he'd just imagine your face on top of hers, trying he best not to moan your name. So, he just resorted to spending late nights with his hand, a sock, and a bottle of lotion and that seemed to work really well for him.
As soon as Eddie got home from work, he made a beeline for his room, stripping down to his underwear, his rock hard cock tenting in them. You had visited him and the rest of the 118 at the fire house and the dress you had worn had done wonders for him. And now you were about to be the stat of his fantasy as he got himself off.
Eddie stripped down and threw himself onto his bed, grateful that you weren't home and pulled out his freshly washed sock along with the lotion that he used that he kept in his drawer. He put on the lotion and put on the sock, going to town, letting his moans fall from his lips.
He kept going, desperate to seek his relief, your name coming out of his mouth this time. He could feel his vision going hazy as he got there, hitting his free hand against the mattress repeatedly. Eddie was so caught up in his orgasm that he hadn't even heard his door open.
He caught you staring at him and a let out loud scream, quick to cover himself up with his blanket. Just when he thought you were going to cover your eyes and leave, you stepped into the room and closed the door, leaning against it.
"Do you need some help?" You asked, batting your eyelashes and Eddie could have sworn that he had died and gone to Heaven because why else would you have offered that up so easily?
"Do I-what?" He wasn't denying you, but more caught off guard by your question. Was he dreaming? Clearly he must have been.
"Do you. Need some. Help." You stepped closer, leaning over the bed so that your face was close to his. If he had moved just a few centimeters, you'd be kissing.
"Please," he whined and you smirked, pulling back the blanket, seeing that he was still very hard underneath his sock. Your hand hovered over it as if asking for permission.
"May I?" You asked and he nodded furiously. You then removed the sock, feeling your mouth watering as you thought about how badly you wanted to suck him off.
"Wow, you're even bigger than I imagined," you said, your eyes wide.
"Y-you were imagining how big my dick is?" He asked, letting out a gasp at how hard you gripped his cock.
"Oh yeah," you replied, starting to pump your hand slowly, trying to get him used to the feeling. "I think about it all the time. What it'd be like to have it in my mouth, inside me, everywhere." You were saying all the right things to the point where you could already see cum leaking from his cock.
"Fuck," he whined. "Keep going." Your pumps got faster and was already getting there, so many nosies coming from his mouth. And he was hot, the back of his head being pressed against the headboard, making a mess of his hair. And he was sweating, giving his skin a nice glisten.
Eddie's hands gripped the sheets underneath him, trying his best to hold on for a long as possible, but he was already close. His vision was clouding as a loud scream ripped through him, causing his throat to become raw.
As he was coming down from it, you stood up from the bed, stripping as slowly as possible. You started with your jeans, unbuttoning them then taking them off, followed by the thong that you had worn just for him, hoping that you'd get a chance to show him. You then slowly ran your hands down your body, stopping when you got to your cunt.
You then ran them back up to the bottom of your top, pulling it up over your head, now standing completely naked in front of your roommate. The one who you had been crushing on since he moved in.
"Fuck," he whined, looking at your body, deciding that it was even better than he had imagined and he couldn't wait to get his hands on you. "Want you to ride me."
"Ask and you shall receive." He helped you climb onto him and he decided that he could watch you forever like that, wanting to feel you on top of him. Eddie reached into his bedside table drawer and pulled out a condom which he handed to you and you rolled it onto his cock.
You then settled on top of him and began to ride him hard and fast, since you knew that was how he seemed to like it. You watched him underneath you, his eyes closed, his mouth falling open. You were definitely taking a mental picture to save for later.
“Don’t go easy on me,” he said through labored breaths. “Do your worst.”
“Maybe after a few rounds,” you replied. “You can’t handle that right now.” You picked up your speed and Eddie opened his eyes, letting his gaze fall to your tits, watching the way they bounced as he you fucked him, wondering if you’d led him have his way with them.
“Yeah? You like what you see?” You asked, arching your back to give you a better view as your hands gripped his shoulders.
His hands moved to your waist, his fingers digging into the skin and you loved the way it felt, this sting of his nails in your flesh.
“Love,” he replied, still breathless. “You’re so beautiful. I-I think I love you.” He didn’t mean to say it, but there was nothing but truth in his words. He did love you and as more than a friend. You brought your movements to a halt, looking him dead in the eyes. He had really fucked up, hadn't he?
"Oh stop," you rolled your eyes, but looking into his, you could tell that he was being serious. "You're serious," your eyes widened.
"I am."
"Well, I love you too, Eddie," you replied and a huge grin broke out on his face. He pushed you so that your back was flat against the mattress. He pressed his lips against yours, smiling into the kiss. You mimicked his actions, your arms wrapping around his neck as you returned his kiss. Eddie lowered himself down onto you as he hands found yours, intertwining your fingers as he pumped into you slowly, wanting to take his time.
The two of you spent the rest of the night tangled up in Eddie's sheets, going for multiple rounds and exchanging "I love you's" until the sun came up, both you going to work absolutely blissed out. Now that you were finally together, the two of you were inseparable and nothing could keep you from each other.
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eevees-hobbies · 1 year ago
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HIHIHI may I request some Sakura please, your greatness 🧎‍♀️ who despite his tough boi act, absolutely worships the ground his lover walks on and showers them in love (before, during AND after sex) oooou it’s rotting my brain i need him to cuddle me stat
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Author’s Note: Ah, so you’ve come to me with a Sakura request, I see. And a cute one like this, too? I get it, anon…I do. I get it because you and I are a lot alike. Sometimes you like the idea of Sakura bending you over and delivering loud, nasty, toe-curling backshots to you as he talks shit in your ear (same, same), but other times you crave a different version of him. You crave a soft Sakura, a comfortable Sakura, a tame Sakura that doesn’t flinch when you touch him but instead leans into your touch and looks at you with absolute devotion, right? Me fucking too. So you want broken-in, house-trained, and domesticated, Sakura? My pleasure. 
Content Warning: Fem!ReaderXHaruka Sakura. Business (fluff) in the front & party (smut) in the back! Smut will be below the last divider. Sweet Sakura, who shows you love through some love-language type things. And then intimate love-making. You make love while half-asleep (mmm). Tame smut. Eve mentions Bridgerton again because there is now continuity in my stories, and I’m not sorry about it (don’t ask me about the show; I’m on season 1, episode 3, but I love the idea of it). Minors Do Not Interact.
Word Count: 2K
Divider by Saradika. Banner by me.
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Sakura had watched you all day, and he hated what he was seeing. You two had planned a beach day on a rare day off for him and a light work calendar day for you. But when the universe hears about plans, it often laughs aloud and offers a wrench.
He couldn’t quite understand the intricacies of your work-from-home job beyond that shit was hitting the fan. You sat dutifully in front of your laptop, answering constant pings coming from god-knows-where and from god-knows-who to the point that Sakura felt he could time them perfectly. 
Ping
Ping
Yup, perfectly timed. 
And with each call or message you answered, he saw your shoulders rise closer to your neck, the tension making you hunch in a way you’d certainly feel later.
And he couldn’t help you with whatever the fuck KPIs or logic models were, but he could help you in other ways. So, he grabbed his keys and set out for the day.
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As your workday concluded, your fingers found the bridge of your nose in an attempt to massage away the tension migraine that was rearing its head. Not only was today stressful, but as you looked around your empty apartment, you found Sakura to be gone. You hoped he wasn’t upset about not going to the beach, but you’d understand if he was.
As you stood out of your ergonomic office chair to stretch, ready to open the refrigerator to cook something up quickly, the door to your tiny abode opened. 
You let out a breathy laugh—Sakura is blocked from your line of vision, and only a few single tufts of black and white hair peek over the various restaurant and grocery bags in his arms. As you croon your neck to watch him struggle his way inside, you also see that he’s carrying a bouquet of flowers with an unmistakable logo tucked firmly under his armpit.
He’s grumbling as he sets the items down on the kitchen island; something about hating living so high up, but you can’t bring yourself to dial in on his ramblings as you read the names of your favorite places on the bags.
“You got us ramen, kitten?”
“Yeah. Miso with extra beansprouts like you like, with some Gyoza on the side. It’s probably cold since it’s like climbing a fuckin’ mountain to get up here, but I can heat everything back up.”
He begins removing food, snacks, face masks, popcorn, and drinks from the bags. Your heart pangs with remorse at even thinking he was upset about your inability to go to the beach. Sakura is complicated, but he’s not childish.
“Also, Umemiya said something about the flowers, but you might have to text him about that. I zone out when he starts talking plant-talk.”
“Same,” your arms find his waist, your cold hands sneaking up his shirt and rubbing at his prominent v-line as you wrap yourself around his whole person. “Thank you for this. I love you so much.”
Sakura blushes, a personal trait he’s tried to stop fighting long ago. “Sure, but go ahead and sit on the couch. New episode of Bridgerton tonight?”
You rub your palms together excitedly, “I’ll get the fuzzy socks, kitten!”
After getting through half an episode of Bridgerton, Sakura noticed you were fighting a losing battle with your sleep needs. Heavy eyelids and your head growing slack on his shoulder were all the signs he needed to turn off the TV and scoop you up in his arms.
“Bath,” you mumble against his chest. 
“Bath,” he offers in return.
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“You sure?” he mumbles against your lips, “your eyes are barely open.”
“Mmm, but my legs are open, baby. See?” You wrap your thighs around his midsection, trapping him in and pulling him closer.
The heat radiating from your clothed cunt is undeniable, you’ve probably wanted him all night, and fuck, he felt the same way.
Sakura’s lips trace the curve of your jaw with gentle kisses and flicks of his tongue until his face is nestled in the crook of your neck. Your pulse is calm—so slow that he wonders if you managed to fall asleep until you shift under him and let out a sigh.
“Sakura...need you.”
“Yeah, babe. You got me. I’m right here.”
As he pulls the seat of your underwear aside, the slit of his cock already giving way to shiny droplets of precum, he sinks into you with a sigh escaping his lips at the familiarity of you. He can’t help but think of all the ways he loves you. Moments like this make him feel like the best version of himself—someone worthy of being loved and giving love. 
He briefly presses his forehead into the valley of your breasts, letting your slick walls adjust to his girth. You’re wearing one of his white tee’s and smell so unmistakably like him that he’s positive you put on his deodorant after your bath. The thought of being so connected that you dress and smell like him while still maintaining your own smell makes him want you more.
His cheeks rub against your breasts, soft and heavy even through the pesky fabric, and because even one barrier is a barrier too many, he is now lifting the shirt over your head and tossing it to the corner of the room. 
His cock twitches at the erotic sight of you, fully naked except with your panties shifted ever so slightly to the side, puffy pussy lips wrapped around his cock, and hole stuffed to the brim with him. He’d call it a fantasy if this weren’t his real life. 
His feather-soft touches—reserved only for you—cascade from your stomach down your hip before the idea of not moving and not making love to you becomes too unbearable. His hand grips one of your thighs, and he pulls his hips back slightly, dragging the length of him against your silken walls and then forward, your pussy so wet, so creamy, and welcoming for him.
In his mind, he’s giving thanks, thanks to the shitty universe that finally felt enough pity for him that he was blessed with you. 
He has to steel his resolve, however, because when he begins to think like this—think about how lucky he is to have you, to be buried inside of you—he’s prone to lose himself to you far earlier than he’d like and he wants this tryst to last. 
“Haru, feel so good.” your words are slurred and dripping with the slow drawl that comes with sleep, but your body is deliciously reactive for him. The creamy sounds of his cock mixing with your thick slick fills the room so lewdly and loudly that it makes both your cheeks heat up as your love is audibly personified. 
“You do, too. P-pussy feels amazing.” 
He loves you so much his heart hurts. His other hand finds yours, entangling his long fingers with your own. And the way you rub at his bruised knuckles, fresh from a fight, doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Even in your half-awake state, you still care for him and want to ease his discomfort. 
He slots his lips against yours where they belong, wishing that he could give you a more heated kiss, the kind that you like where he lets you suck on his tongue, but this is perfect, too.
You open your mouth, ready, so willing to accept him. He’d never say no to you, and he’s not going to start tonight. His tongue eagerly slips into your warm cavern and is immediately greeted by yours as he traces and flirts with it. 
God, the taste of you is perfect.
If he could drink every bit of your saliva, thick and minty, he would. 
Sakura pulls back, his chest aching a bit as he does so, but this question is important.
Breathy, soft whispers from a mind and body that is so lost in his lust for you can’t stop him from checking on your well-being. “Is this… you ok?”
“Mmmhmm”
His thrusts are steady and deep, practically slow, as he pulls out until the head of his dick stretches your tight hole to the thickest part of him. He’s then languidly pushing back in, savoring you and how you feel around him. He knows the feeling so well, yet it feels novel every time.
His eyes watch your face as your brows furrow; your tongue darts out past your lips to moisten them, the way your mouth falls open when he grinds the tip of his dick against your g-spot.
You’re so beautiful. 
His hand travels down and finds your clit. His thumb gently pushes the hood back, flattening the pad of his thumb he gently flicks at the sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re so warm and drooling with want from him that he lets out a whimper.
 “I love you.” 
Your breathing quickens, but you lap up his words like they are a scarcely available resource. When Haruka Sakura tells you he loves you, he means it. 
“Love you too, Kitten.”
“I want to make you cum. You think you can be a good girl for me and cum?” 
“Yes, baby, I’d love that. Almost there, please don’t stop, Haru.”
“No, never.” 
He leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth, moaning as your fingers rake through his hair. Every part of you is his favorite, but your breasts hold a special place in his heart. He sucks on them maybe a bit too eagerly, but you don’t seem to mind; as he pops each nipple out his mouth, they glisten with saliva and stiffen into needy peaks.
Your pussy is clenching him more now; he can tell that you’re close, and he loves that he can do this for you. 
His thrusts have picked up slightly in speed, but they’re harder—communicating more want—the headboard now bucking against the wall and making consistent banging noises. As your cum splashes out of you with every flick of his hips, your inner thighs and his abs being coated in nothing but your slick, you pull him down flush against your soft body.
You see your orgasm before you feel it like fireworks exploding in your brain and setting off each pleasure sensor as your eyes dilate. You get that wonderful lightheaded feeling that comes with taking too many rapid breaths in a short amount of time.
Sakura moans as you clench around him, your walls gripping the head of his cock and massaging that sensitive spot on the underside of his dick. He can feel hot, white streams of his cum pouring into you, filling up every inch of you until your walls are painted white with his seed. He gives you a few more final, deep thrusts to ensure that his nut is deep and buried in what’s his, his thighs trembling at the idea of you being stuffed to the brim with his love, making him absolutely weak.
“Mmm, pervert. Did you just nut inside of me?”
He pulls away, leaning across the bed to grab a towel that’s settled nearby—first to clean you up, dabbing at your folds and thighs, and then himself.
“Sorry, should have used your face for target practice. Go pee so you don’t get a UTI.”
He helps you up; your eyes are still half-open as he guides you to the bathroom. As he hears the click of the door and the sound of a steady stream hitting sitting water, he turns to continue his routine. 
Sakura grabs the previously discarded white tee, places it on the bed for you, and then heads to the kitchen. He grabs a glass of water and a granola bar, just in case, and places both items on your side of the nightstand. 
He looks down at the sheets and briefly considers changing them; streaky, white, wet stains stand out as evidence of your lovemaking, but he hears the sound of water coming from a faucet, and he doesn’t want to hinder your sleep any longer.
You exit the bathroom, rubbing your eyes and yawning. 
“Here,” he says, getting up with the shirt, pulling it over your head and down your body, and then guiding you back to bed.
You snuggle up next to him, and you drift off. Typically, Sakura might spend this time staring at you, wondering what you’re dreaming about as your face gives way to adorable expressions in your sleep, but this time, he joins you in your slumber instead. 
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bun-z-bakery · 11 months ago
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✧. ┊𝐿𝑖𝑔ℎ𝘵 𝘚ℎ𝘰𝑤𝑒𝑟
A/N: I'm backkkk!! I've been reading alien fics lately and wanted to make something with our best boi! it's a silly one-shot but my love for alien!dogday might make me write another:3 P.S. i did some research for this so dont come for me if something is wrong blame google!
Alien!Dogday x GN!Reader CW: injury
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The rapid beeping of the ship forced you out of your sleep. The red lights flickered as a warning causing you to head to the control panel to assess the situation quickly. "WOAH!" The ship began to shake violently as you bashed away at the controls, a vain attempt to put your ship back onto course. Crackling can be heard coming from your transmitter "...Co...Ang..." The signal was weakening and you needed to work quickly. "HELLO? I NEED AID IMMEDIATELY!"
You cried as you began to mentally prepare for the worst as you suited up and strapped yourself into a seat.
Your body began to jerk harshly against the restraints of the safety harness. You could feel the air around you getting hotter and hotter as your eyes locked onto the windows turning into a tinted orange as the flames grew from the nose of your ship to the sides... Between those flames, you just barely caught a glimpse of the tiny planet you call home. The distance made you realize how far you were, and alone. Metal began to wail against itself as you felt your last breath leave your body. 
Your eyes flutter open and the flash of a dim flickering light fills your vision before your eyes can adjust. You blink, disoriented and with ringing ears. You're alive by some miracle. Slowly you try to rise to your feet though before you can move a sharp pain violently runs through your leg, making you fall back onto the ground. You wince in pain as you look around "Wait there's... gravity?" Quickly you begin piecing everything together. You never made it to your destination you were now sitting in a completely different orbit.
You remove the now broken harness strap that clung onto your shoulder. The small crack in your helmet almost sent you into a panic. Your breathing was fine however any more damage could lead to bigger problems than being injured in space.
"Mission control... Do you read me?" Your throat croaked. You were desperately in need of water and aid. You were stranded on a planet
with no equipment that could keep you alive and you only had your oxygen tank left to spare.
Your headset crackled and the voice was once again barely audible. "An... Stat... Aid..."
"I'm alive, but I only hav-" The area dimmed as a giant shadow loomed over you.
You ignored the static voice coming from your transmitter. There was nothing you could use to defend yourself. Tears formed in your eyes as you sat as still as humanly possible.
Something was whistling behind you. 
You try to stabilize your breathing as the shadow begins to slowly disappear. You take a sigh in relief yet you still weren't alone. Turning to your left you find yourself face to face with a furry creature. It seems like its stare was out of curiosity rather than fear. The creature was one like you've never seen before. 
It was canine-looking, with orange fur and what looked to be a sun symbol on the darker part of its fur that blended with the lighter parts. Its fluffy ears and tail looked soft, you were almost tempted to reach out to feel them. But what stood out to you the most was its antenna. Orange like its fur but had green at the tips, the same green spots and stripes were also had on its tail and ears. 
It seemed friendly enough, it hasn't tried to hurt you... Yet. "H-hello?" you wave at the creature as it begins to inspect you from where it stands. It chirps as it crouches down and holds your helmet in its hands.
"No no!" you protest as it reaches your helmet. Your injuries prevented you from putting up a fight, you watch as it continues to gently pry off your helmet. You could only watch in fear as you slowly begin to suffocate now from the lack of oxygen. Your body begins to feel like it could explode as your vision blurs. Two furry hands gently hold onto the sides of your face as the blurred sight of an orange blob swiftly pulls your face into its own. 
"What.." you look around in confusion. There the creature was, sitting in front of you cross-legged and smiling back at you. "You startled me there! I thought I had lost you!" 
"You- I can understand you. Wait." you look around and spot your cracked helmet off to the side. You begin to panic yet continue to breathe just fine. 
"You're safe! But you're hurt." 
It puts a furry hand on your head to help calm you. Confused and on the brink of losing your mind you decide to not struggle for fear of making it or him angry. 
You could hear the faint crackle coming from your helmet, you knew what the sound meant. "It sounds worried about you." He begins as he rises to his feet. "Your home... is broken." He looks down at the debris that surrounds you both. 
"My hom-HEY!" You were cut off as the furry creature gently picked you up and began to float. 
"PUT ME DOWN!" You shout as he continues to float away while holding you comfortably in his arms.
"Do you wish to float yourself?" 
He asks cautiously now sensing your fear. His ears fall flat as his antenna droop slightly. 
"N-no, humans can’t float..." 
This must be his first encounter with a human. You think to yourself as you ponder what this discovery could mean for you. You'd have a hand in it, sure. But what about him? What would happen to him if you brought him back to earth with your crew? 
"Good thing we've arrived then!" He cheers happily as he gracefully and gently sits you both on the rough ground, releasing you from his gentle hold. His orange hand points to the sky, you follow his hand and gaze at the sight in awe. Dozens of stars dance around the sky above you. They remind you of the star showers back home as they zoomed past you two and twinkled, you couldn't help but smile at the sight. 
"Beautiful right?" 
"They are," you respond, still in awe as you continue watching. "Do you have a name?" You cautiously ask.
"I was given the name Dogday." A small cloud of dust begins to form as his tail slowly starts to wag in excitement. 
"Do you have a name, little human?" you glance up at him, his antennae begin to give off a faint green glow. 
"My friends call me Angel." 
"Angel..." 
He parrots back in a tone as sweet as honey. You smile at him and he
does the same. Oddly enough you start feeling more at ease. "Do you know where we are right now?" You ask as you relax onto his furry arm. Your gentle movements made his tail wag even faster. "We're sitting on the star home with petals!" 
He answers happily. You tilt your head slightly in confusion but quickly realize what he meant. 
"Petals?..." you were confused with what he had meant. You look around in an attempt to see what he might be referring to, and an excited gasp leaves your lips upon the realization of where you two are currently seated. "We're on Saturn!" 
You exclaim, catching the poor creature off guard. He lets our happy chirp as he mirrors your expression. 
"Humans give names to the star homes?" 
You nod with a hum. Dogday was more than pleased with the conversation and your company. You begin to play with the ground, tracing the ground's rough textures next to your legs. He chirps happily once again upon seeing how relaxed you are now. 
"We do. On my star home, all of them have names!" 
"Your star home?..." 
Dogday looks at you with big puppy eyes. He felt a tug in his chest once he realized you wouldn't be here with him forever. After years of being alone. He felt something he never thought he'd feel again Happiness.
As if on cue, you heard the faint crackle coming from your helmet that lay in the distance. You turn your attention to it however you notice something in the distance. A bright ball of flames sped towards the location where you crashed. It was a rescue crew. 
"I need to get my helmet back and I need you to hide!" You quickly explain as you try to stand only to wince in pain once you move your leg. Your leg was still injured and you didn't want to risk Dogday being taken or worse... 
"Dogday!" You exclaim as he quickly scoops you in his arms and floats you both back to where the debris lies untouched. He gently set you down and helped you put your helmet back on. You fiddled with your gloves, making sure they were still on securely. "Angel!" You glance in the direction of his voice, unaware he left your side. Your eyes widen once you notice he is much bigger than before, his body still shrinking to the size you had seen him originally as he quickly float-walked closer to where you sat. 
"Dogday?" 
"Take!" He has a big grin on his face, and the green hue of his antennae grows brighter. You chuckle as you hold out your arm and he slips on a golden bangle that looks oddly familiar. You examine it once he lets out a satisfied hum. 
"From this star home!" that's when it clicked, it was one of Saturn's "petals" as he refers to them. It radiated a soft glow and had a pleasant chill. Now one of Saturn's rings somehow rests comfortably on your wrist.
"Stay..." His eyes began to tear up, you motion for him to lean down and gently place a gloved hand on his face.
"I have to go. Thank you for this." You stated softly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. A sad smile crept up on his face as he tapped your helmet. You close your eyes as a soothing sensation washes over your body. 
Once you opened them Dogday was gone. 
You look around for him but instead, you spot a figure above you. It was them, they had arrived. The rescue crewmates began to help you back to their ship. They made sure you were in stable condition and treated you with what they had on board. No human could've survived what you just did yet here you were alive. You look out the small window, watching Saturn become smaller and smaller at a rapid pace. 
The sound of chatter began to drown out as you slowly began to succumb to tiredness. The adrenaline wore you out and the only thing that filled your body now was pain. An orange fuzzy face that startled you as it stared at you. It was Dogday! You wave at him and flash him a warm smile. His face was covered in tears and his lips quivered as he waved at you sadly. He pushes himself away and watches as you fly back to your home planet. Even though your time together was short you can help but feel a tug in your chest. 
Little did you know you had just been courted by the lonely dog-alien.
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A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed! I want to get back to being active again so send in those requests! here's all the characters i write for currently!
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isabella-2025 · 21 days ago
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Big Jim you softie : Warnings: Anxiety attack, infidelity, cursing and emotional trauma. That's all happy reading.
Pair: Jimmy USO X Cara.
Plot: Cara has a really bad anxiety attack at work, and she goes home to find her best friend jimmy on her couch. She opens up to him and he opens up to her in a way she never expected.
Here it is guys I am so happy with how this turned out. Please let me know what you think. This was inspired by @sharmelasworld so thank you so much. 😊😊
Please let me know what you think and what you would like to see more of. I am so glad I am back I missed you guys XOXO. ❤️❤️PS: Please listen to the song while reading it sets the mood for the end.
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Cara was a night ER nurse and her night was great until 11:00 PM. She was sitting at the nurses station charting her patients when all hell broke loose. Two ambulances drove up and carried in two critical patients and they were on her floor. She was the only trained ER nurse all the other girls were doing clinicals. Cara rushed into the first patients room his name was Carl and he sustained broken ribs and head trauma from a car crash. She did all her preemptive checks and ordered a stat abdominal x ray and stat head x ray. Then she ran to the other room to that patient named Brandon she did all the preemptive checks and found that he had major head trauma and possibly two broken legs. She ordered a whole body x ray stat. Cara waited for the radiologists to bring Carl and Brandon back to their respective rooms and then goes to talk to them. She walks into Carl's room and says.
" hey, Mr. Carl I'm Cara your nurse do you know where they are?"
" um yes, am I okay?" Carl asks his voice shaking with worry.
" Yes, right now you are stable your x ray did show some minor head trauma and a few broken ribs." Cara says
" Okay, so how long will I have to stay and can you call my wife?" Carl asks.
" Yes I will call your wife for you and the doctors notes say that you would most likely be in here a few days maybe a week for observation due to your head injury." Cara says giving him a gentle smile.
" Okay thank you so much." Carl says.
" You're welcome I will come in here momentarily to give you some IV fluids, if its not me my attending will be in here. If you need anything do not hesitate to hit the call button okay." Cara says.
" Thank you so much." Carl says.
Cara then goes to Brandon's room and says.
" Hey Brandon I'm your nurse Cara do you know where you are?"
" yes I'm in the hospital because of the accident." Brandon says.
" yes and you unfortunately have 2 broken legs and a concussion." Cara says.
" So I'll be okay." Brandon asks sheepishly.
" Yes you are going to be okay you just need to stay here for a couple weeks maybe even a month due to your broken legs." Cara says.
" Okay thank you." Brandon says.
" I'll be back momentarily to start you on IV fluids if its not me it will be my attending." Cara says.
Cara walk to the nurses station where her attending nurse Gracie had taken over doing her patients charts. She looked at Gracie and said.
" thank you so much, I'm sorry that took me so long, could you possibly get some IV fluids to Brandon while I give Carl his fluids."
" Yes of course I can do that." Gracie says smiling.
" Thank you." Cara says.
Gracie heads off to Brandon's room to give him fluids while Cara heads off to Carl's room to give him fluids.
Cara gives Carl his meds and he was fine but then he started freaking out and attacked her. She curled up in the corner and that sinking feeling of anxiety started to creep up. Her vision got blurry and it felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest and her breath of taken away in an instant. A few minutes later a security guard came up and pulled Carl off of her. The head nurse told her to go home and rest. She went to her car still breathing heavily and took her anxiety pills. Then she started off for home which was a 30 minute drive.
Jimmy had just gotten home from the gym and he stopped by the store to get flowers for his wife Trinity because it was their anniversary. When he went into the store the worker said.
" Who's the lucky lady?"
" My wife she's my best friend and the love of my life I don't know what I would do without her." Jimmy says.
" Aww, she's so lucky how long have you guys been married?" The worker asked.
" 9 years and courting I hope." jimmy says smiling.
The worker smiles and hands Jimmy his flowers.
Jimmy gets in his car all smiley and happy. He pulled up in the driveway and walked inside. He dropped his keys off and made his way through the kitchen where he had to pass to get upstairs. He stops because he see's a hot cup go coffee on the counter and that was odd because he nor Trinity drank coffee. He shook it off though and walked upstairs to their bedroom. He walks in and what he see's makes him angry. He see's his brother Jey on top of his wife Trinity and they are fucking. Jimmy yells.
" What the hell."
Jey and Trinity immediately freeze and Jey moves himself off of Trinity. Jey says.
" Look bro it's not that big of a deal. "
" are you fucking kidding me your fucking my wife that is a big deal." Jimmy yells.
" Look you guys share everything so I didn't see a problem with it." Trinity says.
" Wow how long has this been going on?" Jimmy asks.
Jey and Trinity look at each other and Jey says.
" Two years."
" So, when I was at home injured you were driving my wife around and fucking her?" Jimmy says angrily.
" Yeah that's what happened, she came to me." Jey says.
" Yeah, I came to him you were hurt and couldn't satisfy me anymore so I went to Jey." Trinity says.
" WOW you are such a bitch and bro you are a bastard." jimmy snarls.
" look baby…." Trinity starts to say but Jimmy interrupts her.
" No, you don't get to call me that anymore I'm done happy anniversary you bitch." Jimmy screams as he throws the flowers in Trinity's face.
Jimmy Gets in his car and goes to the only person he knows will be there who has always been there Cara.
Cara walks into her home places her key's and bag at the door and goes to her living room and see's Jimmy. She says.
" Hey Jimmy what's up? "
He looks at her with a sad smiles and says.
" I didn't know where else to go."
Cara walks over to the couch, sits down beside him and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. She says.
" You know you can always talk to me right? What happened?"
" It's Trinity she….." Jimmy starts to say but he tapers off.
" She what Jimmy?" Cara asks.
" She cheated on me with….. Jey." He says as tears stream down his face.
" ONG I'm so sorry. " She says.
She places her arms around him and he immediately melts into her arms. He buries his head in her neck and sobs.
" WHY WHY."
" Shhh, Shhh Jimmy I'm here." Cara sooths.
" Thank you." Jimmy says quietly.
" Always." Cara says.
Jimmy pulls away from you looks you in the eye and says.
" now that I'm okay what's up with you because you don't look okay."
Cara looks down sighs and says.
" something happened at work today."
Jimmy waits patiently for her to continue. She says.
" I had this patient he was fine one minute and then he attacked me and it just brought back memories."
Jimmy gently grabs her hand and says.
" what memories."
" I was attacked by my brother after he got a TBI from a car accident. " Cara says.
" So it made you scared? " Jimmy asks.
" Yeah, I had a panic attack I haven't had one of those in a long time, I barely made it to my car to get my meds." she says.
" are you okay now though?" Jimmy asks.
" Yes, I am now." She says looking directly into Jimmy's eyes.
" You want to know something?" jimmy asks locking eyes with her.
" Sure." Cara says.
" I never felt like I could be a person I mean like show my emotions because I have always had to be strong and when I did show any emotions Trinity would tell me I was overexaggerating and that I need to man up." Jimmy says.
" With you I feel at peace like I can finally be free to show my emotions and be vulnerable." He continues.
" I feel the same way, I haven't talked about the accident or my anxiety to anyone else and when I'm with you its peaceful and calm." Cara says.
Cara and Jimmy stare into each others eyes for a few moments. Jimmy leans down brushes a finger over her cheek and whispers.
" I guess we're each others safe space huh."
" I guess so." Cara whispers back.
" Cara." jimmy says his voice filled with emotion.
" Yes." She says.
" your my home, my peace and I don't want to lose that." Jimmy says a tear slips down his face.
" You wont lose me Jimmy." She says softly a tear also streaming down your face.
" May I kiss you?" Jimmy asks.
" Yes." Cara whispers.
Cara and Jimmy wipe the tear from each others eyes, slowly lean in and give each other a gentle kiss.
Moments later they pull away from each other and Cara says.
" Big Jim you Softie."
Jimmy laughs and kisses her again.
The rest of their story is history.
The End.
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 4 months ago
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s7 episode 2 "the sixth extinction: amor fati" thoughts
oh god. i just read the episode description. CSM takes him???! WHERE? good lord!!! can’t they have a break??? and scully has to find him!! fuck!! abduction arc parallels!!!
not even going to ponder what might happen or make any predictions… we need to jump into this. STAT.
(post-episode thoughts: bro... they said the lines.......
so much happened. i ended up having to walk around in silence for 10 minutes or so after the episode ended. to see that alternate dream reality... scully and albert and her heart... cupping each other's cheeks...
there were really, incredibly profound moments in this one, and then also alien mytharc moments that made me go "wtf" a bunch of times. i feel like i have way more questions than i started with and they will probably never be answered. so my overall feelings on this episode are complex and confused, and i will probably need time to sort them out. this confused nature may be visible in my notes- but you have to understand! y'all have had years, even decades, to wrap your heads around these episodes! i just got here, so lend me some grace, bahaha.
oh. i once again really want a post-episode fluff fic. i'm gonna have to just suck it up and write it myself, huh? SIGH.
okay, take it away, me from about 18 hours ago!)
(previously on the x-files)
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, recap time. scully begging him at his hospital bed to hold on. mmm. good stuff. so much is happening, though. i’m ready for a bit of a break. a chill episode would be cool.
mulder’s on a beach!!!! watching someone play with a child. and smiling. is that his child? or just some random baby? the lighting implies that this is some dreamland.
OH SHIT!!! his mom is here!!! and the doctor is explaining to him that he is dying!!
“enough! there’s only so much bluntness that a mother can take” <- oh, she is not having this…. she says they’re turning him into a zombie. 
ahhh!! he can hear her thoughts!!! and he’s thinking back!! but she can’t hear him!! and she’s walking away!!! noooo!!! he’s screaming for her in his head!!!!! but obviously she doesn't know :( 
WHY IS. CSM HERE. looking down at him. thinking about what it means to have a father. 
WAIT, THEY’RE TALKING??? psychically. “how does anything i do surprise you now?” <- okay, i feel called out with that line, but forgive me for not knowing that he could READ MINDS??? i thought his whole thing was being an ordinary guy who can do awful things through the power of knowing people and fear!
CSM loads up a syringe…. and pushes it into mulder's head. he gasps. and says he is giving him a choice. life or death. he says mulder’s suffered enough. he isn’t christ. 
and he tells him to arise. and he moves his hand??? and is controlling him??? what.
he says to take his hand. “you have to take the first step” (more visions of a baby)
“i am your father” HUH. 
well. uh. let’s just see what canon actually says. because that was implied before. but. didn’t go anywhere. also, why would someone being your father allow them to read your mind? sorry. i don’t think it works like that. 
mulder looks gagged to hear this. 
spender and mulder half brothers…. omfg. juicy. but AGAIN. let’s see what actually happens. i can’t analyze anything too soon. they love a red herring.
hey guys, what’s going on though. CSM psychic reveal??
OOOO, new words after the intro!!! “amor fati” <- see, if i look those words up, i’ll get spoiled, so i must sit tight and wonder what they mean, i guess
where’s scully. i need scully at this time. ah! here she is!!! she fell asleep at the desk!!! translating more words!! but kritschgau opens the door and wakes her up, saying they don’t have time for sleep!! wtf are you doing here???? 
he says she has to use her time with mulder wisely. “like you?” injecting him with mysterious medications? <- OHHHH get him!!! he insists that overdosing him was what mulder wanted. yeah. suuuuure.
he claims mulder was infected with an alien virus. and now he is proof of their existence. so i guess he has started believing since we last saw him.
“well, whatever it is, it’s killing him. and we have to get it out of him” “you destroy this, and i’ll destroy you” <- bro, she WILL shoot you. it’s not even a question. and frankly at this point in time, i want to see it happen.
the phone rings… and he walks away, having contributed nothing to the conversation.
nooo!! it’s skinner saying mulder disappeared!!! oh, she’s gonna kill someone.
there were GUARDS here. but the nurse claims his mother checked him out??
OHHHH, skinner does NOT want to be involved!!! she clocks that he is not saying something and he admits to being in a compromised position- the less he knows the better.
bro is still chilling on the beach in his head. oh shit, he wrote this episode with chris carter. well. i don’t know what to expect. i know that man can write an ep, but chris carter is hit or miss.
is that his child self walking up to him? his imagined future baby? who is this... AUGH. the baby talks in CSM’s voice... NOOO.
he wakes up in handcuffs while CSM drives him…. somewhere…. in the rain. CSM says his doctors worked on him. “at some point, i realized that if the syndicate didn’t kill you, the FBI would. if the FBI didn’t kill you, your own misguided heroism would. there’s really no way out for you” <- ohhh… my heart is racing. i’m lowkey forgetting to breath. cannot tell if this episode will be a masterpiece or a train wreck.
he says mulder needs to just disappear. become a man without a name, like him. but he’ll learn how to enjoy life’s simpler pleasures.
he’s gonna set him up with some fake life and diana, huh. i see what’s going on here. and i DON’T LIKE IT.
he wants to tell scully. but CSM says he cannot. because he is entering a witness protection program. and he offers him a cigarette. “i don’t smoke” “maybe now you do”
poor scully….. poor, poor scully…. at her apartment…. but someone approaches!
she gets her gun. i feel like she looks different, but i can’t explain why. like, her face. am i tripping? is her makeup different this season?
she finds someone and holds him at gunpoint. OMG!!! IT’S ALBERT!!!!!! the best guy to see in this situation, tbh!! he has bandages on his head. is there hope for mulder?? because albert had the same illness he did, right? did they find a cure?
he says she must find him before something happens. for the sake of us all.
hmm. the alien colonization plan must be close. they must be trying to take him away so he can't somehow stop it.
CSM gives mulder keys to a house. he says this is his new life. “you can drive away right now. drive back to scully and your x files and your imminent death. i wouldn’t be surprised if you did. but i think you should take a look around” <- ohhh…. my heart is RACING…. everything is so tense
and CSM walks away. 
it’s a nice little house. i'll give him that.
scully is looking at surveillance footage… the cameras from the hospital were covered up when he went missing!!! they can see his mom talking to someone!!! someone with a cigarette!!! WHICH ONLY MEANS ONE THING IN THIS SHOW!!! what does she know?!
mulder opens the door to the house. it seems empty. he calls out asking if anyone is home…. poor guy is still in his hospital gown. and the fridge is filled with sunflower seeds. this makes him laugh.
HUH??? is that DEEP THROAT??? he’s gagged. he can’t believe it. scully saw him get shot!!! but deep throat says he’s just very relaxed. 
so they faked his death??? for 6 seasons????????? 
or is mulder tripping? he can’t believe it. he felt responsible for his death. “yes, along with scully’s sister and the man you thought was your father and duane barry and even scully’s mysterious illness, and on and on and on. you can let go of all that guilt” <- oh yeah. this was very clearly a trick of some kind before, but now it is even more evidently a trick. but fuck, if the angst of it all isn’t tasty. the concept of that ancient guilt of his being washed away. MMMM!
deep throat explains that they’re puppets in a master plan. and that he’s suffered enough- he should enjoy his life. 
deep throat has a wife and daughters, and he hopes that mulder will visit them for dinner. which is a lot to unpack.
bro gets lots of sunflower seeds and passes out. and dreams of that child again. his sandcastle is knocked down, and he tells the boy it’s okay; he can build it again.
now he’s in bed. and the door opens. he’s still cuffed!!! AW FUCK, and it’s DIANA. in a sultry dress. she unlocks his handcuffs. and strokes his chest. and he kisses her. FADE TO BLACK. the FUCK is going on??????
scully calls his mother. and leaves a message. because she did not pick up. what is she doing...
she gets a package from someone at the FBI…. it’s a book of native american legends. and the writing she was trying to translate!! it matches what is on the book’s cover!!
AH! the anasazi!!! “an entire indian culture vanishes without a trace” <- LIKE CSM SAID!! 
she calls skinner…. and asks if he sent the book. “it explains everything that i saw in africa… using the same symbols that i found on the ship” but my queen! he can’t tell you about it even if he did send it!!!
but i don’t think he did… and she goes on about a mass extinction. they think mulder's illness is a gift. that protects them against a coming plague. skinner hangs tf up. which did kind of make me laugh.
she goes to figure out wtf is going down in skinner's office, and even though his secretary tries very bravely to stop him, she hears him moan and barges in…. WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM??
AHHHHH!!! she sees hairy krycek leave with his weird medical device!! and he pulls the fire alarm to get everyone out before she can catch him!!!! the rat bastard!!
mulder is at his new house, getting the mail. diana comes out. he says everything is perfect- too perfect. what about his commitments, he asks? she says his commitments are CHILDISH. WTF???
WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK???? she says he needs to BECOME A FATHER??????????
what is going on. guys. i’m serious... WHAT is going on. i don’t like it. mom, i’m scared. please come pick me up.
he says that they only slept together one time, it's pretty sudden to decide they need to have kids…. and he’s obviously freaked tf out, because it’s CSM who is arranging all of this!! the devil himself!! but she says oh, we'll go visit him after breakfast :)
girl, i’m scared.
scully knocks on kritschgau’s door. she knows he told someone about mulder… but he promises he didn’t. she sees his computer… and he’s hacked into her files!!!! he was having the NIH analyze all of the genome data they found!!! 
he says it proves he’s become biologically alien. and she deletes them all. what is this guy doing!!!!!!!
diana and mulder go to visit CSM……. he says he has three grandkids and mulder's sister. who has been living here all along. 
they lock eyes. she runs up and hugs him. 
AH, FUCK!! it seems that he’s been imagining this the whole time!!! because now we see his naked body is laying on some sort of panel with probes attached to it!!! i guess that's a relief, though. i didn't want to have to deal with diana/mulder children in canon.
but CSM claims he had such high hopes for his son… he never imagined “the depth of his capacity for suffering”
hey. guys what the FUCK is going on? i almost don’t want to take notes. i just want to watch it all and see what happens. because i’m still not very pleased…..
and fucking diana is watching him on the table!!!!!! she wonders what he dreams of. and CSM says it must be of simpler things. “dreams are all he has now”
FUCKING DIANA, GET OUT OF THE FBI. “bum a cigarette, agent fowley?” <- GET HER ASS, SCULLY!!!! 
they’re gonna fight it out. “maybe before you go around blaming everyone you can find for what’s happened to mulder, you could think about what you could’ve done to prevent it” <- WOAH. JESUS CHRIST. what an absolutely horrible thing to say. scully, we need to kill her. 
scully doesn’t move. she says to think of mulder's promise back when they met at the academy. and think of how he would bust his ass to save you. and diana walks away.
the doctors with CSM are talking about how mulder has become immune to the viral apocalypse…. but he might not survive the procedure. then he will suffer a hero’s fate, says CSM.
FUCK! he dreams of getting married to diana. of going to the hospital for her delivery. of their kids and growing gray. of her death. crying at her coffin. CSM grabbing his shoulder.
but in reality, he's still laying on that table. diana is stroking his face, while CSM says she shouldn’t think of the man, but the sacrifice he will give to the world. CSM thinks he would have chosen to become alien. and she strokes his face again.
(fuuuuck.... CSM as god.... mulder as his son... the sacrifice to the world... your motifs... i'm picking up on them. chris carter saw a bible and he said "this needs to be in my show")
elderly dream mulder is talking to CSM. with the very silly makeup. he knows about the boy on the beach. “i’ve seen him thousands of times”- but he’s never figured out what the child wants him to see. 
the kid builds a UFO out of sand…… and he rips it up. saying it was mulder's. he was supposed to help him.
scully goes to her apartment, and albert is there again. he says she is running out of time. and he suggests looking for mulder in her heart.
“are you asking me to pray?” he kneels down with her. “there are more worlds than the one you can hold in your hand” <- GODDDD.
okay. scully and albert are praying together. it’s very touching. but somewhere else, they’re also stripping down CSM as he is to get infused with mulder’s alien DNA or something. it’s not a pretty sight. “i hope you see the poetry in this, diana” and she says he might kill his son!! so she truly believes his claim, huh?
aughhhhhh…… i can’t watch this……. 
mulder wakes up. he won’t stay under. he’s looking at diana. she walks away. where is she going……..
in his mind palace dreamscape thing, he’s old as hell with CSM sitting nearby. who hasn’t aged. he says samantha died five years ago. “what about deep throat?” “we’ve been over this. he’s dead” <-what a cruel thing, to remind him of everyone he has lost in his old age as he forgets...
CSM says that scully is dead, and he starts to cry. it is not lost on me that it is her being gone that makes him weep. “it’s time for you to let go. they’re waiting for you. if you let go” but he won’t close his eyes………. until he does. 
i’m so sad. wtf.
CSM opens the blinds to look into the outside world of this dreamscape, and the world is surrounded by an apocalypse. CGI war everywhere. it’s aged poorly and makes me laugh as it snaps me out of what is going on. the UFOs…… they fly over……. girl…..
maybe I need a smoke break. thought about that???
but in the real world, someone is burning files!!! so many files!!! they shot kritschgau!!!!! it’s krycek!!!!!
and an envelope is tossed under scully’s door- poor scully, who fell asleep on the floor, she must have been praying... and albert isn't with her
the card!!! is it diana’s card?!!! to get into that lab where they're testing on him? she runs out……
they’re taking all kinds of things from mulder in surgery, and i simply cannot look. but scully scans the card…… and he imagines her coming to his dreamscape bedside!!!! in his very old age!!! 
she’s mad at him!!! she calls him a traitor!! a coward!!! “you’re not supposed to die mulder- not here. not in a comfortable bed with the devil outside” 
he says there was no mission; no aliens. she tells him to get up and fight. he’s so confused. he’s crying. asking where scully is. calling out for her.
she finds him, in real life, laying on the table after the surgery….. she whispers to him. tells him to wake up. his eyes open up. he’s breaking through the years of lies!!!!! her tears fall on his face!!!
“you…. help me” 
OH. SHE HOLDS HIM CLOSE….
let's just sit with that for a minute.
one week later…… she goes to his apartment. oh! he was going to see her in the office!!!! she scolds him for this. "no work". his head is covered in bandages and he has a yankees cap on top.
he says he was coming to work to tell her that albert is dead. he’d been in a coma for 2 weeks. “there was…. no way he could have been in your apartment” “he was there. w-we prayed together.” (mulder purses his lips and nods) “mulder, i don’t believe that. it’s impossible” “is it any more impossible than what you saw in africa, or what you saw in me?” “i don’t know what to believe anymore. mulder, i was so determined to find a cure to save you that i could deny what it was that i saw, and now i don’t even know… i don’t know. i don’t know what the truth is, i don’t know who to listen to. i don’t know who to trust” (she’s crying) (and i might be crying, too, mind your business)
DIANA FOWLEY WAS FOUND MURDERED THIS MORNING??
“i never trusted her… but she helped save your life just as much as i did. she gave me that book. it was her key that led me to you. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i know she was your friend” (they hug)
god.... i'm torn between being so sad that scully thinks so little of herself that she actually claims diana helped save him as much as he did, and how kind she is to tell him she is deeply sorry even after how much suffering diana caused
“scully, i was like you once. i didn’t know who to trust. then i… i chose another path… another life, another fate, where i found my sister. the end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. there was one thing that remained the same.”
so it's as if he considers the alternate dreamscape life to have actually happened. like he saw what would happen if he did make that choice. that's very interesting that he takes the responsibility, saying he chose another path when it never really happened.
OH. HE HAS HER FACE IN HIS HANDS…. 
“you… you were my friend, and you told me the truth. even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant… my touchstone”
OHHHHHH, HE SAID THE LINE THAT EVERYONE SAYS IN THEIR TAGS WHEN THEY REBLOG AN MSR GIF!!!!!!!!!!!
“and you are mine”
AND THEY KISS???
wait. not for real. she kisses his forehead. the angle made it look like a real kiss on the lips for a second, but she was kissing him on his forehead bandages…. for a solid ten seconds. and he smiles. she puts his baseball cap back on. and cups his face. runs her fingers over his lips. 
he closes his eyes. like he’s realizing something.
he sees that little boy…. and they’re building the spaceship together.
the end.
hey guys. i need to go scream for a minute to decompress.
wait. i need to set my phone down and go leave the room. 
i had to go walk around for ten minutes. i had to brush my teeth and do my skincare before bed in total silence. i had to drink straight from the sink and let the coolness of the water surprise me. and then the mouthwash burned a bit. i had to to rub the nice lotion on my hands and put myself back into my body after that.
fuck me.
okay. so, first thoughts: i’m not buying that he’s CSM’s kid. i think it’s too heavy-handed, plot wise. the bad guy is secretly the good guy’s father! it’s been done before. we've all seen star wars. it’s not super satisfying. it’s a fun thought to bounce around in your head and imagine what would happen if it WERE true, but i just… don’t think they’re telling the truth. maybe CSM and his mom had an affair, but i don’t think he’s the result of that. i think it’s a convenient lie to lull him into complacency. and even if he hold diana that it’s true, that doesn’t mean it is. this is CSM. lying is his career. and he went pro. to the major leagues. he also lied about being samantha's father before. i see no reason to believe him.
he's gotta hang on until 23andme is invented so they can discover the truth.... cause god knows CSM could manipulate a traditional paternity test.
okay. so. the alien stuff. he was infected with the virus two years ago (in the gulag, correct?) and he gained some sort of immunity to it as a result, which may or may not be because his brain was going sicko mode. i guess i have some questions on the logistics of that, but none that i think can actually be answered by canon. so the dormant virus went haywire when he saw the rubbings on the letters? that makes no sense, but okay. and then somehow he became alien and then CSM took the alien parts out of him and put them into himself. so now CSM has the immunity. then how did he read his mind at the start? was it a trick? i'm guessing that mulder is no longer psychic, though, since they took the alien part out of him, but maybe now CSM is- which would be very dangerous. or maybe he already was? because he already was doing the mind reading? didn't he undergo the DNA splicing procedure when they thought they were going to have the whole alien colonizing thing last season? so what is the sense in doing it again?
sighs. i just don’t know.
let’s talk about scully, i say, and this is something i could have said any day for the last ten months and it would be true. this was a major turning point for her. being so desperate that she abandoned her own ideals. but, at the same time she began to discard the strict notion of science because she felt so entirely lost, she did also turn into herself and what she knew- praying with albert. turning to the belief she’s had in her all along that has never ran contradictory in her mind. but albert might not have even been there. a messenger from the divine, perhaps? a hallucination from lack of sleep? an angel? i guess we’ll never really know. 
but… man. i need some time to sink my teeth into that. 
her faith in science has been tested before, and to have everything explained by an alien civilization isn’t necessary in contradiction with science, just something not understood by it yet. she’s mentioned that point before. but also… she’s had shades of belief in the past. shoving the doll in the microwave in chinga. gibson telling her he knows she believes, she just doesn’t want to. that same exchange happened like, 3 other times in s6. so no, she’s not a full convert to the extraterrestrial. but she’s seen things she can’t understand and doesn’t know if it came from her own desperation to believe or if that is the Truth, and what is the Truth, anyway, and how can it be known?
what makes me really sad is how she kept repeating she was a failure for being unable to save him, and then at the end, her saying that diana saved him as much as she did broke my heart. diana put him into that situation. deciding at the last minute that she’s too cowardly to go through with it or has some change of heart that could almost be seen as mercy can’t be called saving him. she put him on that table and helped carve him up. we can’t give her equal credit for saving his life when his life wouldn't have been in danger without her meddling.
and for scully to think that makes me feel so sad. it’s as if she thinks that all she has is her science, and if she can’t understand that, what does she have? but the answer is she has her instincts, her kindness, her talent, her brains, her courage… for her to say that diana saved him as much as she did- god, i just think she must feel so guilty, so terrible, and not see her own worth. i will choose to interpret this line as a momentary exhale, a brief showing of her wounds which she normally keeps so tightly wrapped up. a moment of weakness. an indication of her lack of direction and her sheer desperation. because something i love about this show is that scully knows her value. i love that she knows she deserves to take up space at the table and never questions that. but maybe, when you’re questioning god and the universe and what it means to be alive and other unshakable truths, your own self-worth can get caught in the mix. maybe that can get shaken up, too.
mulder…. being lulled into complacency with the idea of forgiveness, starting fresh. a baptismal cleanings of sins via the suburbs. to know that he wasn’t responsible for everything he blames himself for; a reality where his family was whole. his fantasy of a normal life. damn. if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about his character… what he wants, what motivates him. but what tells you even more is the fact that he isn't satisfied- not really. he feels like that little boy watching the sandcastle get destroyed. and he almost goes through with it and never wakes up. until dream scully calls him to action. he cannot look away when she calls. he knows that she is reasonable and truthful. and that no matter how lovely this fake life is, it isn’t real. he can’t turn away from his commitments. no matter what fantasies fill his head. 
also. i knew he wanted kids so bad. but to see it in the dreamscape........ man. (gazes into the distance)
FUCK. i’m so mad about the whole diana thing. that she went along with it all… claiming to love him, and that they could be together. and having to see him dream a domestic future with me obviously pissed me tf off. like. shaking like a chihuahua levels of rage. did he really trust her that whole time? is that why he dreamed about it? is that the future he really saw for them in real life- even though he said he loved scully- or was the dreamscape carved up by CSM somehow? but sometimes, dreams are not wish fulfillment. sometimes random stuff happens in your dreams. everything else seemed so purposeful as his ideal reality, though, i can't help but wonder if that is truly how he felt- that he saw a marriage and kids and growing old with her. and why would that be?
she was touching his face, saying she loved him as she worked to kill him. and how nasty she was to scully……… and i'm not off-base in the implication that she assaulted him in the last episode, right? taking off her shirt and going into his room while he was violently ill and could barely speak? the writing was pretty clear on the wall there. i have been known to miss undertones, but that was clear to me.
usually, i love the female characters that everyone hates. if other people are writing dissertations on how much a fictional woman sucks, i am usually picking up a pitchfork and defending her honor. but i can’t do this here. i don’t even find her worth writing a dissertation about because her character was so flat. i will say that they at least gave her some dimension this episode. so shoutout to the writing team for that, i guess.
hmm. and CSM. driving him away. saying he was proud of him as a son. it just…. mmm. i don’t know if it’s not believable or if it’s not personally satisfying to me. what was his mother doing with him in that waiting room? does CSM believe what he claims? does mulder? does his mother? was he really reading his mind at the start? is his character able to kill thanos or something? 
i am very worried about mrs. mulder, however. she might be in very serious danger. she didn't pick up scully's calls, and she was there with CSM when they kidnapped him... it is not looking good for her.
i don’t really care for the alien plot stuff, so CSM getting mulder’s alien DNA removed and put into him was just kinda weird to me. same with all of the other alien stuff. the writings, the biblical imagery, the apocalypse. the appropriation of anasazi and other Indigenous legends, which feels in poor taste in the modern light. it just doesn’t really interest me that much. in this show, i like the vague spookiness and the interpersonal relationships and the search for the Truth and the old, old guilt in these characters, but the aliens themselves do not appeal to me very much. so. yeah. i guess i just feel (shrugs shoulders) about it, you know?
it feels like there is still an untapped wellspring of things i need to say within me.
how about we discuss skinner? telling scully that he is compromised and that he cannot help her. but she still calls him and explains about the book, because it's him- and this is why kritschgau is killed- because someone hears what she says. and she bursts in to find him when she has been expressly told not to, and he is slumped over in pain, krycek having used his remote controller to hurt him. so he was just blaming himself for mulder’s accidental overdose at the hands of kritschgau, saying it was his responsibility. and then things get worse… but they get better.
i want to explore that space of the getting better. of him hearing that they made it out despite it all. does it fill him with hope? but also, is it tinged with dread? because he knows there is more ahead? but mulder knows about him and krycek and the illness now- can they somehow find a cure? is that the next big project to embark upon? will he forgive himself?
kritschgau… idk what his deal was. he hacked into scully’s files and sent them to the NIH because he claimed he wanted to crack into the human genome, but it seems all he really wanted was to backup his claims as whistleblower. why did mulder pick him to ask for help, beyond him knowing the drug that helped him out? why did he threaten scully and break into the FBI? it felt like a really weird unresolved plot point.
what about barnes? what about the dude that came back to life and killed him? what about amina? i liked her!!! a lot!!! what about the ship? is it still there? is any of it still there? can any of it be explained? was it all a fake somehow? or was it real, and the aliens just have really weird priorities?
gah! it makes my head hurt to think about for longer than 5 seconds. and i know that we will never really know, which is frustrating. we are slowly dripped these little plot points that never add up to a whole picture, and it drives me CRAZY. 
but how beautiful it is to know someone so fully that you can know them when you know nothing else. when your whole world is turned upside down, you can see them clearly. that sort of soul bond. to kiss someone’s bandages. to be a touchstone. to cradle their face in your hands and hold the whole world in them. 
fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK me. 
good angst here. incredible MSR. but i’m not sure what i would rank my overall satisfaction with this arc. it is an upheaval of everything we have known so far when it comes to our characters. scully, a believer? mulder, an alien (formerly?) and a bastard? skinner, someone who cannot be trusted? i will need some time to process all of these changes. there was a sense of finality and not going back, of every moment being incredibly important and life-altering moving forward. of no return. which happens in some episodes. and they always leave me with a strange feeling. sadness, perhaps? of the loss of what once was? of simplicity?
i think that the grand alien plot can take me out of the simple human connections that make the show so good. it can elevate them to a point that is hard to wrap your brain around and fathom. can make it so complicated for us mere mortals to understand. when dealing with the end of the world in a story, you must zero in on the mundane, the human, so we don’t get loss in an endless series of nearly avoided apocalypses without having a reason to feel a relief, as the audience, that the world didn’t blow up this time. and while there certainly are the essential human elements at play that ground such a fantastical story- when it veers away from focusing solely on that, it can make me aware of the fact that i am watching TV from a specific genre with a specific set of tropes rather than being immersed in the experience so wholly like i am when the plots are more character-driven and down to earth. i think that’s just how the nature of sci-fi/action stuff goes, at least for me. i’m not moved by the idea that aliens are god and left us messages. i’m moved by the humans who discovered that grappling with losing each other and comprehending their reunion. i’m moved by their tears and their blood and their lips touching foreheads, hands touching backs. you get what i’m saying?
fuuuuck. where do you go from here? there has to be some fic that takes place after this episode. 
i’m waxing poetic. because my heart yearns for a softness! and maybe i’m expecting something that the genre doesn’t deliver, but fuck. you need relief after endless punches to the gut and to the gut again and to the head and then to the gut once more. you drive these characters through horrible thing after horrible thing and i, the viewer, need to come up for air- which is why s4 was so tough for me. i felt like there was no air to breath. mytharc episodes will also plunge you underwater. and then, of course, the show is written pretty inconsistently, so whether or not you’ll get the relief in the form of lightheartedness and banter and teasing and fluffy stuff afterward is never guaranteed.
so. thus ought to conclude the diana saga- but who knows? it’s hard to say. maybe she didn’t actually die. like dream deep throat. and it was a shock to see deep throat again. a nice little treat for the viewers. with his wife and kids. 
hmm. despite typing all of that up, i still feel like i have so much more to say. but what is it? it’s a yearning for an epilogue i will never be provided. 
i will say, this episode made me lowkey want to proceed with my plan to not watch beyond s7. i know that i probably will end up going through with all of it… but. my heart was racing!! my feelings were feeling things!!! gaaaah! i need to be sedated. 
"my constant" fuck.
i just realize i wrote all of those words about an alien show. which is fine. i don’t ever half ass anything. 
need the fic where scully goes to his apartment after work and she makes blueberry pancakes in his kitchen and she catches him up on the office gossip since he went on leave and they catch each other's eyes for a liiiiiittle too long.
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bluenerdtastemaker · 7 months ago
Text
Maybe There Is Hope
Yuki Tsunoda x Liam Lawson | Rated T | 11.3K
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I hated him. I hated everything about it. - Anonymous
Liam Lawson wasn’t sure why he clicked on the video. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was the algorithm pushing it onto his feed, or maybe it was the title—"Anonymous Letters: Confessions of Broken Friendships"—that tugged at something buried deep in his chest.
It was a Jubilee segment. He’d seen a few of them before, strangers sitting in dimly lit chairs, reading letters from people they would never meet. Honest, raw stories. This one was no different.
A young girl with a soft voice started reading.
"I worked in a field where you had to be a predator. If you weren’t, you’d be eaten alive. And for a long time, I thought I was okay with that. It’s just how things are."
Liam’s chest tightened, but he brushed it off. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard metaphors like that before. Competitive sports were cutthroat. Everyone knew it.
"I had a best friend in that world. We started as teammates in a junior program, and we were inseparable. We laughed, supported each other—even when the results were bad, even when the rumors started. We promised we’d have each other’s backs."
His hand paused mid-reach for the remote.
"But then, in 2024, things changed. One of us was going to get promoted to a bigger role. It was down to me and him. I thought it was going to be me."
Liam sat up straighter.
"I had better stats, more experience. I was ready for it. But they chose him."
The girl’s voice cracked, and Liam’s stomach dropped.
"He got it with less than six trials. I smiled when it happened. I told him I was happy for him, but inside, I hated him. I hated everything about it. Was it because of the way I talked? The way I acted? Did I come off too strong? I don’t know."
His heart was pounding now.
"I told myself it was just one bad decision. That I’d find something better. But then time passed, and the opportunities stopped coming. Eventually, I was forced to leave that world. And my best friend—he didn’t call."
Liam’s vision blurred for a moment. He didn’t need the girl to keep reading. He already knew how this story ended.
Yuki.
"I left everything behind. I hated him. Hated myself for hating him. I wished I could say it to his face, but I didn’t. We never talked again."
The girl paused, her voice softer now.
"Sometimes, occupations or life destroy what you thought was your light. And sometimes, you can’t stop it."
Liam barely heard the rest of the video.
Yuki had vanished after 2025. No interviews, no social media posts—nothing. At first, Liam thought he just needed space, time to process everything. But days turned into months, and then years. And Liam hadn’t reached out. He didn’t know why. Maybe he thought Yuki would come back. Maybe he thought he’d be mad.
But he never imagined this.
Liam turned off the video and grabbed his phone.
There was no hesitation. He pulled up Yuki’s old number, fully expecting it to be disconnected. But the message box was still active.
Liam: I’m sorry.
He stared at the screen. The three dots popped up almost immediately.
Yuki: Why now?
Liam swallowed.
Liam: Because I just saw you.
There was a long pause, then;
Yuki: I didn’t think you’d care.
Liam: I do. I always did.
The dots hovered for a long time before disappearing. Liam stared at the empty screen, his heart sinking, but then—
Yuki: We need to talk.
And Liam finally exhaled.
Liam leaned back in the plush leather seat of his private jet, eyes fixed on the endless stretch of clouds outside the window. The hum of the engines filled the silence, but it did nothing to drown out the thoughts racing in his head.
Yeah, this job had done wonders for his bank account. Private jets, penthouse apartments, tailored suits—he had it all. But the weight on his chest didn’t care about any of that. Success had a way of amplifying the emptiness instead of filling it.
He wasn’t the one to blame. He knew that. He’d just played the game the way it was designed to be played. He’d worked hard—harder than most—and he deserved that position next to Max. He’d earned it.
Yet, no matter how many times he told himself that, Yuki’s face always surfaced.
Even now, three years later, it lingered. That half-smile Yuki always wore like armor, the sharpness in his eyes that made you forget he was barely over five foot three. Liam had thought that smile would always be there, but when it disappeared, it left behind a void that no amount of podiums or championships could fill.
The plane touched down in Okinawa under a hazy sky. Liam stepped out, sunglasses shielding his eyes from the glare, and turned the small slip of paper in his hand. An address.
He’d double-checked it more times than he cared to admit. A quiet island where the majority of the population was elderly. It didn’t match the image he’d held of Yuki for so long—the fiery, unstoppable force that tore through the junior circuits like he was born to do it.
But here he was, standing in front of a modest home that smelled faintly of saltwater and earth, clutching a wrinkled piece of paper like it was a lifeline.
Yuki lived here now. Not just lived—thrived, if the stories Liam had managed to dig up were true. He ran a restaurant and art business, which honestly didn’t surprise Liam in the slightest. Yuki had always had a talent for turning chaos into beauty.
Still, knowing Yuki was doing well didn’t stop the nerves twisting in Liam’s stomach as he stood at the front door.
He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and rang the bell.
The door opened, and there he was.
Yuki Tsunoda.
But not the Yuki Liam remembered.
This Yuki was broader, stronger. The kind of build that came from heavy lifting and labor instead of gym sessions and simulators. He wore a loose short-sleeve shirt that showed off his tan skin, his toned arms, and—Liam’s eyes caught—an intricate sleeve tattoo of sakura blossoms winding from his shoulder to his wrist.
His ears glinted under the sunlight, three earrings in one and two in the other. Liam almost didn’t recognize him. Almost.
But the sharpness in his gaze—that fire—was still there.
Yuki’s eyes narrowed.
“…Liam?”
Liam swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. “Hey.”
Yuki didn’t move, didn’t speak for a long moment.
Then he stepped back, leaving the door open just enough to let Liam through.
“Come in,” Yuki said, his voice low, unreadable.
And just like that, Liam stepped into a world he thought he’d lost forever.
The house was quiet. Too quiet for Liam’s liking.
He followed Yuki inside, the faint scent of paint and cooked rice lingering in the air. The place wasn’t big, but it felt lived-in—warm, but guarded. Yuki led him to a small living room where the walls were lined with framed artwork.
They sat across from each other.
Yuki didn’t speak at first, his eyes locked on the table between them. Liam tried to take in everything—the way Yuki’s fingers curled tightly around his glass, the way his shoulders rose and fell just a little too quickly.
Then, Yuki exhaled, sharp and heavy. “So. You saw the video.”
Liam flinched. The words were heavier than he expected.
“It was you,” he said quietly, more a statement than a question.
Yuki scoffed, shaking his head. “Not exactly.” He looked up then, his gaze sharp and unrelenting. “It was my sister’s idea. She thought if I didn’t have the guts to talk to you, maybe a stranger reading my words would make you listen. I was waiting for your message, hence why I still keep that number.”
Liam swallowed. “Yuki—”
“Don’t,” Yuki cut him off, voice firm but trembling. “Let me say this first.”
Liam shut his mouth, his chest tightening.
Yuki leaned back, his arms crossed, exposing more of the sakura blossoms inked into his skin. It made Liam feel even smaller somehow.
“I hated them,” Yuki started, his voice low and controlled. “Those two old men who smiled at me, promised me the world, and then threw me away like trash the second I wasn’t convenient for them anymore. I gave them everything—five years of my life—driving cars that weren’t good enough, hearing excuses that didn’t make sense, and still, I kept showing up.”
Liam’s nails dug into his palms.
“They told me to be patient, to wait, that my time would come. But it didn’t, did it?” Yuki laughed bitterly. “When 2026 came, and the seat was full, I knew I was done. Not good enough for them. Never good enough.”
“Yuki, you were—”
“No,” Yuki snapped, his voice cutting through the room. “You don’t get to tell me that. Not now.”
Liam bit his tongue.
“Do you know what it’s like, Liam?” Yuki’s voice broke, just a little. “To give everything and still not be seen? To know that no matter what I did, no matter how fast I was, no matter how hard I fought, it was never going to be enough?”
Liam didn’t answer.
“Because I’m Japanese? Because I’m not loud enough, not tall enough, not charismatic enough? Or maybe because I refused to smile and play their games when they wanted me to?” Yuki’s jaw clenched, his shoulders shaking. “They said I needed to be more marketable, easier to sell. What the hell does that even mean?”
Liam shut his eyes, guilt clawing at his throat.
“And you,” Yuki whispered, and Liam froze. “They used you, Liam. You don’t even realize it, do you?”
Liam looked up, and Yuki’s eyes were already on him, dark and tired.
“They used you to make me feel small,” Yuki said. “Every time you got praised, every time they pointed at you and said, ‘Look how good Liam’s doing,’ it was a reminder that I wasn’t enough. And I hated it. I hated them for doing it, and I hated you for being part of it—even though I knew it wasn’t your fault.”
Liam’s breath hitched.
“But you know what the worst part is?” Yuki leaned forward. “I didn’t say anything. Not to them. Not to you. Because I cared about you too much to ruin what you had. I couldn’t take that away from you, even if it hurt me.”
Liam opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“And now?” Yuki sat back, arms dropping to his sides. “I’m here. Running a business on a tiny island, trying to pretend I don’t care anymore. But I do.”
The silence was suffocating.
Finally, Liam spoke. “I’m sorry.”
Yuki didn’t move.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see it,” Liam said, his voice trembling. “I should’ve noticed—I should’ve said something, done something—but I didn’t. I was so focused on my own career, my own goals, that I let them turn me into something I never wanted to be.”
He exhaled sharply, hands trembling as he gripped his knees.
“And the worst part? I knew it was happening.” Liam’s voice cracked. “I saw how they treated you, how they talked about you when you weren’t in the room. I heard them compare us—over and over again—and I let it happen because I was too scared to speak up. Because I was afraid it’d be me next.”
Yuki’s expression didn’t change, but something in his eyes softened.
“I hated myself for it,” Liam admitted. “I still do.”
The words hung in the air between them.
Yuki sighed, leaning back in his chair. He ran a hand through his hair, his fingers brushing against the edge of one of his earrings.
“I wish you didn’t apologize,” he said quietly, and Liam blinked, taken aback.
“What?”
“It’s not your fault,” Yuki continued, his voice steady but low. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Liam. You just… played the game better.”
“That’s not—”
“It is,” Yuki cut him off, shaking his head. “It’s a fucked-up sport. It’s always been like that—cutthroat, political, and ugly under the surface. It’s never just about talent, is it? It’s about timing, connections, and luck. And for once, it worked in your favor.”
Liam’s breath hitched, his guilt still clawing at him, but Yuki’s expression didn’t waver.
“I don’t hate you for that,” Yuki said softly, and that hit harder than Liam expected.
“But—”
“I hated everything else,” Yuki admitted. “The way they treated me, the lies, the fake promises, the way they talked about me like I was a project that didn’t work out instead of a person.” He paused, his gaze distant. “I hated how they made me feel small. How they made me feel like nothing I did was ever enough, even when I gave them everything I had.”
Liam swallowed hard, his chest tightening.
“But you?” Yuki’s eyes met his again. “I could never really hate you, Liam. Not in the way I hated them. It wasn’t always like this.”
Liam’s shoulders sagged in relief, but the weight of Yuki’s words still lingered.
“I was angry,” Yuki continued. “At the system, at the people who pulled the strings, and yeah—sometimes, I was angry at you too. Not because of who you are, but because of what you represented. Because every time they praised you, it felt like they were telling me I wasn’t good enough.”
Liam clenched his fists, but Yuki just sighed again.
“And I’m sorry,” Yuki said, and Liam froze. “For letting it get this bad. For shutting you out when I should’ve said something sooner. But I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”
“Yuki…” Liam’s voice cracked.
“I mean it,” Yuki said, his voice softer now. “I don’t want you carrying this guilt. You deserved that seat, Liam. You worked hard for it. Just like I did.”
Liam bit his lip, forcing himself to stay quiet even as his heart screamed at him to argue.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Yuki added, and for the first time, his voice faltered. “I thought we’d both make it. That we’d be there, side by side, at the top. But life doesn’t work that way, does it?”
Liam shook his head. “No. It doesn’t.”
Yuki leaned forward then, resting his elbows on his knees. “I never wanted to hate you, Liam. And I don’t—not anymore. But I needed time. To let it go. To figure out who I am without all of that.”
“And did you?” Liam asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Yuki hesitated before nodding. “Yeah. I think so.” He gestured to the room around them. “This? It’s not what I thought my life would look like. But it’s mine. And I’m happy here.”
Liam’s chest ached, but it wasn’t the sharp sting of guilt anymore. It was something gentler. Something closer to hope.
“I’m glad,” he said softly.
Yuki smiled, small but genuine. “Me too.”
Liam watched as Yuki stood up, stretching his arms before heading toward the kitchen. The subtle shift of muscles under his tanned skin and the glint of the sakura blossom tattoo peeking from under his sleeve made Liam’s breath hitch, but he quickly averted his eyes when Yuki turned to glance back at him.
“Have you eaten yet?” Yuki asked, pulling open the fridge.
Liam rubbed the back of his neck. “Plane food doesn’t count, right?”
Yuki snorted—soft but familiar—and Liam found himself momentarily frozen, the sound tugging at something in his chest. It wasn’t loud like before, not the sharp laughter Liam used to hear echoing in the paddock or during late-night calls after races, but it was still Yuki. And maybe that was enough.
“Sit down,” Yuki said, already pulling out ingredients. “I’ll make something quick.”
Liam obeyed, settling at the kitchen island as Yuki moved around with practiced ease. He was calm—focused in a way Liam didn’t expect. Yuki had always been restless, bursting with energy even when exhausted, but this Yuki? He was deliberate. Measured. Different.
And undeniably attractive.
Liam swallowed hard, eyes trailing over the curve of Yuki’s shoulders and the slope of his back as he chopped vegetables and peeled shrimp. The tattoo inked along his arm shifted as he moved, and Liam blinked, forcing himself to look away when his cheeks began to burn.
What the hell was wrong with him?
He cleared his throat, eyes flickering to the stove where Yuki was stirring rice in a wok. The faint scent of garlic and soy sauce filled the air, and Liam latched onto it like a lifeline.
But his thoughts kept circling back.
Yuki had changed—a lot. He wasn’t loud or hyper anymore, and there was a weight to him now that Liam wasn’t sure how to define. His English had a thicker Japanese accent than before, probably from spending the last three years in Okinawa, and even the way he carried himself felt more grounded, more mature.
Liam had changed too. He wasn’t the wide-eyed rookie he once was. He’d bulked up, hardened under the pressures of the sport, but sitting here now, watching Yuki cook like it was second nature, Liam couldn’t shake the feeling that Yuki had grown in ways he hadn’t.
And maybe that was what made it so hard to look away.
“It’s done,” Yuki said, breaking Liam out of his thoughts. He turned to find Yuki setting two plates of fried rice down on the counter, steam curling up from the shrimp scattered on top.
Liam grabbed a fork without hesitation, shoveling a bite into his mouth—and nearly choking.
“Since when can you make fried rice this good?” Liam blurted, eyes wide as he went in for another bite.
Yuki raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement tugging at his lips. “You think I survived three years here without learning how to cook? I owned a restaurant man.”
“No, seriously,” Liam said between mouthfuls. “This is—damn, Yuki.”
Yuki huffed, shaking his head, but there was the faintest trace of color dusting his cheeks.
“Shut up and eat.”
And for the first time in a long time, Liam smiled.
Liam stood at the sink, sleeves rolled up and hands already submerged in soapy water. He scrubbed the plates with a focus that was entirely unnecessary, especially since Yuki’s kitchen was spotless to begin with.
“Liam—”
“Already started, can’t stop now!” Liam interrupted quickly, flashing Yuki a grin over his shoulder before turning back to the dishes.
Yuki huffed, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. “I wasn’t asking.”
“And I wasn’t offering,” Liam shot back, his tone light but his heart thundering in his chest.
Yuki shook his head, muttering something in Japanese that Liam didn’t catch. It sounded exasperated—probably a curse—but Liam just smiled to himself and kept scrubbing.
The sound came next. A soft, high-pitched meow.
Liam paused, sponge in hand, and turned toward the source of the noise.
“No way,” he said.
Another meow, followed by the soft padding of paws against the tile. And then there they were—three cats, all staring up at him with wide, expectant eyes.
“Yuki,” Liam said slowly, voice dangerously close to disbelief. “You have cats?”
Yuki didn’t even look up. “Don’t judge me.”
“Judge you? No, I’m impressed.” Liam crouched down, extending a hand, and immediately one of the cats—a sleek black one with a little white spot on its chest—sauntered over and rubbed against his fingers.
The second cat, a fluffy orange tabby, flopped onto its back, clearly demanding belly rubs.
“Oh my god,” Liam whispered. “They’re adorable.”
“They’re a menace,” Yuki countered, though the affection in his voice said otherwise.
Liam looked up just in time to catch it—that soft, almost shy smile on Yuki’s face as he knelt down to scoop up the third cat, a gray and white one that curled up easily in his arms.
And Liam? He was doomed.
Because Yuki had always been attractive—sharp-edged and quick-witted, equal parts fire and charm—but this? The soft edges, the calm demeanor, the subtle strength in the way he held himself now? It was something else entirely.
“You’re staring,” Yuki said, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow.
Liam blinked, scrambling to cover. “I was admiring the cats!”
“Right,” Yuki said, clearly unconvinced, but he didn’t push. Instead, he set the cat back down and leaned against the counter again, watching as Liam stood up, suddenly hyperaware of how close they were.
The tension shifted then—subtle but undeniable.
It wasn’t new. Liam knew that. It had always been there, simmering quietly between them even when they were teammates—late-night talks, lingering looks, and smiles that meant more than they should’ve. But now? It felt sharper. Hungrier.
Yuki must’ve felt it too because he cleared his throat and stepped back, suddenly very interested in rearranging the spice jars on the counter.
“So,” Yuki said, his voice steadier than Liam expected. “You’re good with cats.”
Liam latched onto the topic like a lifeline. “I mean, they seem to like me.”
“They like anyone who gives them attention,” Yuki said flatly, but Liam caught the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Guess I’ll have to come back, then,” Liam said without thinking.
Yuki froze, just for a second, before forcing a laugh. “For the cats?”
“Sure,” Liam replied, but they both knew better.
The weight of it hung there between them—unspoken but heavy. And as much as Liam wanted to push, to close the space between them and figure out exactly what the hell this thing between them was, he didn’t.
Not yet.
Instead, he knelt back down, letting the orange tabby paw at his hand, and pretended not to notice the way Yuki kept looking at him.
They settled into the living room, Yuki on the couch with one of his cats curled in his lap while Liam took the armchair across from him. The plates were clean, the cats were fed, and the tension that had hung between them earlier had softened into something more manageable—familiar, even.
“So,” Yuki started, absentmindedly scratching behind the cat’s ears. “How’s life?”
Liam snorted. “You mean outside of flying in private jets and avoiding PR nightmares?”
Yuki raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. The real stuff.”
Liam hummed, leaning back. “Busy, mostly. Traveling, racing, pretending I don’t check your Instagram stories even though we both know I do.”
Yuki’s cat stretched, yawning as if it, too, was judging him.
“Funny,” Yuki said, smirking slightly. “Because I could say the same.”
Liam’s eyes widened. “Wait—you—”
“Relax,” Yuki said, waving him off. “It’s not like I’m scrolling through your tagged photos. Just...keeping up.”
Liam let out a breath, his lips twitching. “That’s a relief. Because if you’d seen half the things people edit me into—”
“Oh, I’ve seen them.”
Liam groaned, covering his face with his hands, and Yuki actually laughed—a real one, light and genuine. It made Liam’s heart lurch in his chest, but he pushed it down and refocused.
“So what about you?” Liam asked, lowering his hands. “I mean—art? I still can’t wrap my head around that.”
Yuki shrugged. “I always liked it. Had time after retiring, so I started sketching. Posted a few online, and somehow it blew up.”
“Blew up?” Liam repeated. “Try exploded.”
Yuki flushed slightly, brushing off the comment.
“No, seriously,” Liam pressed. “You’re Takako.”
Yuki winced at the name, but Liam wasn’t done.
“The Takako. The one everyone lost their minds over when that first series dropped in 2026? The one with the gallery showing in New York last year?”
“Stop.” Yuki groaned, hiding his face in the cat’s fur.
“No way,” Liam said, grinning. “I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner. I mean, the pen name threw me, sure, but the art? It’s so...you.”
Yuki peeked up at him. “Is that a compliment?”
“Obviously.”
Yuki rolled his eyes but looked pleased anyway.
“And the mascot thing?” Liam asked.
Yuki shrugged again. “Perks of being Japanese. People are used to anonymous artists with avatars. Makes it easier to keep my privacy.”
“And you’re nominated?”
“Maybe,” Yuki said, but the corner of his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile.
Liam shook his head in disbelief. “Unreal. Yuki Tsunoda—the guy who used to sneak instant ramen into hotel rooms—is an award-nominated artist.”
Yuki smirked. “And you’re still just driving in circles.”
“Hey!” Liam protested, but he was laughing too.
Yuki leaned back, stroking the cat in his lap. “Anyway, what did I miss? The grid gossip. I know you’re dying to spill it.”
Liam’s grin turned wicked. “Oh, you’re not ready.”
Yuki raised an eyebrow, intrigued.
“Max confessed to George,” Liam said, savoring the way Yuki’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“Bullshit.”
“I swear.” Liam held up his hands. “They’ve been soft-launching for months now, and George finally posted a picture of Max holding his dog like a baby in their private. It’s disgusting.”
“No way.”
“Way.” Liam smirked.
“And Charles and Carlos?”
“Still together.” Liam smirked. “You know they went Instagram official last year. Viral, even. Lots of dramatic vacation pictures and shirtless selfies.”
“Yeah typical,” Yuki muttered, but the corners of his mouth twitched.
“Oh! And Pierre and Esteban.”
Yuki perked up at that. “What about them?”
Liam leaned in, eyes glinting. “Kissed.”
“No!”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes, Yuki. I swear. Kissed and now dating. Apparently, they used to be in this weird situationship for years before actually making it official. It was a whole thing.”
Yuki’s jaw dropped, and he ran a hand through his hair. “I need to message Pierre. Immediately.”
Liam laughed, watching Yuki scramble for his phone before realizing he didn’t even have Pierre’s new number. “I’ll text him for you later,” Liam offered.
“Do it,” Yuki said, still reeling. “God, I really missed everything.”
Liam’s grin softened as he took in Yuki’s expression. “Yeah, you did. But they’d all be thrilled to hear from you, you know.”
Yuki hesitated, fingers brushing the phone screen in his hand. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been so long, god damn, I left and the entire grid turns into a soap opera.”
Liam watched him carefully then, the way his shoulders had relaxed and his expression had softened. It was like seeing glimpses of the old Yuki again, and he couldn’t stop the fond smile spreading across his face.
“Still,” Yuki said, from the phone now looking at him. “It’s nice to know they’re doing well.”
“And you’re doing well,” Liam pointed out.
Yuki blinked at him, looking almost startled by the sincerity in Liam’s voice.
“Yeah,” Yuki said quietly, slowly avoiding eye contact with the blond man. “I guess I am.”
And for a moment, they just sat there—two people who had drifted apart and somehow found their way back to each other.
Suddenly, the peace was shattered by the most chaotic noise Liam had ever heard. A high-pitched yowl echoed through the room, and before he could even register what was happening, one of the cats had launched itself off the couch, landing on the counter with a loud thud.
The other two cats, apparently on some sort of coordinated mission, joined in on the madness, darting around the room with wild abandon. One of them knocked into the bookshelf, sending books cascading to the floor with a crash, while the other went straight for the mug on the counter. Liam barely had time to react before the cat swiped the mug off the edge, sending it hurtling toward the floor.
"NO!" Yuki yelped, diving forward to catch the mug, but the cat was faster. It tumbled down, crashing against the counter with a sharp, horrifying clink, shattering into pieces.
"That is THIRD mug this week!" Yuki groaned, falling back on his heels. His eyes met Liam’s in frustration, but the sight of the cat now sitting on the counter, looking entirely pleased with itself, was too much.
Liam burst out laughing, but that didn’t stop the chaos. The cats were still everywhere—two had jumped onto the coffee table and were now batting at Yuki’s art supplies, and the third had decided that Yuki's lap was the perfect place to take a nap again.
As Yuki reached for the stray cat on the table, his foot caught on the corner of the rug, and in a flash, he tripped—straight into Liam.
"WHAT—" Yuki gasped as they collided, arms flailing. For a moment, everything seemed to slow down, like they were trapped in an action movie scene. But instead of gracefully stumbling backward, Yuki found himself toppling straight into Liam, their bodies crashing together in a hilarious, jumbled heap on the floor.
Liam’s heart skipped a beat, his body going rigid at the sudden contact. For a moment, all he could hear was the rush of his own heartbeat, louder than a Formula 1 car at full throttle. He froze, looking down at Yuki, whose wide eyes were locked onto him.
"SHIT, sorry!" Yuki yelped, scrambling to get up as quickly as possible, but his arm brushed against Liam’s chest, sending a shock of warmth through him. "I—uh—didn’t mean to—"
Liam blinked rapidly, his face turning an alarming shade of red. "No, no, it's fine," he muttered, trying to push himself off the floor and stand, but his legs felt a bit wobbly. "I’m good. Totally fine."
Yuki scrambled to his feet too, looking flustered, his cheeks turning pink. "I—I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking—"
"No worries, really," Liam managed, but his voice was higher than normal. His heart was still racing like he was about to go into a race. "It’s all good."
Just as they both tried to regain some semblance of composure, the third cat meowed loudly from the counter. With a smug look in its eyes, it gave the broken mug a gentle nudge, and it clinked off the edge, sending a small piece flying into the air.
Both Yuki and Liam froze, eyes darting between the cat and the mess.
Yuki sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. "That’s it. I’m getting a dog."
Liam couldn't hold it in anymore. He laughed so hard, his stomach hurt. The absurdity of it all—the wild cats, the unexpected trip, the chaos—was enough to finally break the tension between them. He couldn't stop laughing, even as Yuki scowled at the mischievous creatures wreaking havoc in his apartment.
The sound of laughter filled the room, echoing around the small space, and for the first time in a long while, everything felt right.
The sun hung low in the Okinawan sky, bathing the small seaside town in a warm, golden glow. Liam followed Yuki into the modest, cozy restaurant tucked between older, weathered buildings. The wooden beams and hanging lanterns gave the space a timeless charm, and the scent of fresh ingredients and simmering broth filled the air.
“This is it,” Yuki said, gesturing around as he led Liam inside. “Welcome to my second home.”
Liam took it all in—The restaurant was small but cozy, with wooden beams and soft lighting that made the space feel warm. It had the kind of charm that invited people to linger a little longer after their meals, chatting over tea or quietly enjoying the ambiance. Liam stepped inside and immediately felt out of place in his designer shirt and watch, but Yuki didn’t seem to care. He moved with ease through the space, flipping chairs down from tables and tidying up before the evening rush.
“This is your side gig?” Liam asked, leaning against the counter as Yuki set out utensils.
“More like my sanity project,” Yuki replied, flashing a quick smile before gesturing to the kitchen in the back. “Cooking helps. Keeps my hands busy.”
Liam didn’t miss the way Yuki’s voice softened, like he’d said too much and was trying to backtrack. But then Yuki shrugged, falling into a familiar rhythm. “It’s nothing fancy—affordable, good food, nothing pretentious. This island’s mostly retirees, so that’s what works.”
Liam watched him, his hands moving quickly as he prepared ingredients, and for a moment, he was transported back to their younger years—when Yuki used to talk about opening a restaurant someday. “You really did it,” Liam murmured.
Yuki paused, glancing over his shoulder. “What?”
“The restaurant,” Liam said, smiling faintly. “You used to talk about this all the time. You said you’d have a place where everyone could eat well without worrying about money.”
Yuki turned back to the counter, but Liam caught the slight upward tilt of his lips. “Guess I wasn’t lying.”
By the time the regulars started calling, asking if Yuki was open tonight, Liam was already seated at the bar, quietly observing. Yuki didn’t hesitate to say yes, flipping the sign on the door to welcome them in. And that was when Liam saw it—Yuki in his element.
The tension Liam had seen earlier, the guarded way Yuki held himself, melted away. Here, Yuki smiled. He laughed. He teased the elderly customers who came in one by one, treating them like old friends. Liam saw how they adored him in return, bringing little trinkets or baked goods to share.
It was only when the bell above the door jingled that Liam snapped out of his thoughts. An elderly woman shuffled inside, holding a reusable shopping bag and wearing a wide-brimmed sunhat. Her wrinkled face broke into a smile the moment she saw Yuki.
“Ah, Yuki-kun!” she greeted, her voice soft but warm.
“Obaa-chan!” Yuki beamed, wiping his hands on a towel before bowing slightly. “You’re early today.”
“I wanted to see you before the sun went down,” she said, then turned her sharp eyes toward Liam. “Who’s this?”
Yuki looked slightly amused. “My best friend,” he said casually, and Liam’s heart stuttered at the words. Despite Yuki it in Japanese, Liam understood it. Best friend. God, he’d missed that. But something about the title felt uneven, like it didn’t quite fit the shape of their relationship anymore.
“You can sit with him while I finish up.”
The old woman didn’t hesitate to walk straight over, gesturing for Liam to pull out a chair for her, in which he catched on quickly. He obliged quickly, sitting across from her as Yuki went back to work behind the counter.
“You’re Yuki’s friend?” she asked in slow, deliberate English.
Liam nodded. “Yeah. From a long time ago.”
She squinted at him, as if examining his soul. “You are far away from home, yes?”
“Yeah,” Liam admitted. “But I wanted to see him.”
Her lips pressed into a thin smile. “Good. He needs friends. Too alone here. Always working, always busy. Never resting.” She glanced over her shoulder at Yuki, who was flipping something in the pan with practiced ease. “He smiles, but not like before. Guarded. Always guarded.”
Liam felt something ache in his chest as he looked toward Yuki’s back, watching the way his shoulders shifted as he cooked. It was true—Yuki had changed. He wasn’t the vibrant, reckless force Liam had once known. He was quieter and steadier, but there was an undercurrent of something heavy beneath the surface.
“He looks out at the sunset sometimes,” the woman continued, her words simple but cutting. “Like he is waiting. Or maybe longing for something.”
Liam swallowed thickly, gripping the edge of the table. “I—”
The old woman patted his hand gently, surprising him. “You talk to him. Don’t let him stay in shadows. It’s no good for the heart.”
He stared at her, unsure of what to say, but she simply smiled and stood up, muttering something about needing to get back home before dark. Liam watched her leave, her words echoing in his head long after the door jingled shut behind her.
When he turned back, Yuki was setting a plate down in front of him, giving him a curious look. “What did she say to you?”
Liam hesitated before shaking his head, forcing a smile. “Just... that I should eat before it gets cold.”
Yuki smirked, clearly not buying it but letting it slide. Liam picked up his chopsticks, but as he took his first bite, his eyes kept drifting back to Yuki—this version of him that was so familiar yet so different.
Because as much as Yuki had built a new life here, surrounded by warmth and laughter, Liam couldn’t shake the feeling that something was still missing—and that maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with him.
The night had slowed into something softer, quieter. The restaurant was cleaned, the dishes put away, and the elderly regulars had shuffled home, leaving behind faint traces of laughter and conversation. Liam stayed behind to help Yuki lock up, and by the time they made it back to Yuki’s home, exhaustion was starting to creep in.
It didn’t take much convincing—or rather, Liam’s stubborn insistence—for Yuki to end up sharing the bed instead of the sofa.
“No way,” Liam had said, hands on his hips, blocking the living room like a wall. “You’re not sleeping on that thing.”
“It’s fine, Liam. I—”
“No,” Liam interrupted, dragging Yuki’s blanket toward the bedroom. “Don’t even argue. Come on.”
Yuki grumbled but followed, muttering something under his breath that Liam pretended not to hear.
Now, hours later, the room was dim, lit only by the faint glow of moonlight filtering through the curtains. Yuki’s breathing was steady, his back turned to Liam, the faint outline of his sakura blossom tattoo peeking out from under the loose sleeve of his shirt. Liam had tried not to look, but it was impossible to ignore.
Lying there, with the sound of the waves in the distance and Yuki so close he could feel the heat radiating off him, Liam felt restless. He couldn’t sleep—not with the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on him.
He exhaled softly, his voice barely a whisper in the stillness.
“I don’t think I ever told you,” he began, unsure if he was speaking to Yuki or to himself, “how much it meant. Having you there.”
Yuki didn’t move, his breathing steady, and Liam took it as permission to keep going.
“I thought about it a lot,” he admitted, his voice breaking just a little. “You were the one who kept me grounded. When things got overwhelming, or when I felt like I didn’t belong, you were there. And then—then you were gone.”
His fingers tightened against the blanket, guilt rising in his chest.
“I hated myself for letting it happen. For not fighting harder for you. And I know I had no control over any of it, but still…” He trailed off, swallowing the knot in his throat.
The words lingered in the air, and Liam suddenly felt ridiculous. Yuki was probably fast asleep, blissfully unaware of his late-night confession.
“I just—” He sighed, quieter this time. “I miss you. More than I think I realized until now.”
The room fell silent after that, and the weight in Liam’s chest slowly eased as sleep began to pull him under.
What he didn’t see was the way Yuki’s eyes opened, dark and sharp in the dim light. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe too loudly—just listened.
And when Liam’s breathing evened out, signaling that he was finally asleep, Yuki turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling.
Liam’s words replayed in his head, over and over, cutting deeper than he wanted to admit.
Because the truth was—he missed Liam too.
But saying it out loud? That scared him more than anything.
The next day, neither of them brought up what happened the night before, leaving it unspoken. Yuki decided to make a call, informing everyone that the restaurant would be closed for two days so he could spend some time with Liam. It was the only time he ever did this. Since Okinawa is such a small island where everyone knows each other, the regulars understood and sympathized with the restaurant owner’s decision.
The roar of Yuki’s motorcycle had long since died down, leaving only the soft hum of cicadas and the distant crash of waves against the shore below. They were perched at the top of a hill, the kind of place that felt untouched by time. From here, the entire island stretched out before them, bathed in gold and amber hues as the sun dipped lower.
Liam sat on the grass, his legs stretched out, while Yuki leaned against his bike, arms crossed as the wind toyed with the strands of his hair. For a while, neither of them spoke, content to let the silence stretch between them. It wasn’t awkward—not anymore.
But Liam should have known Yuki wasn’t the type to let things fester forever.
“I heard it,” Yuki said suddenly, breaking the quiet. His voice was calm, but it carried weight—heavy and unflinching.
Liam blinked, turning to look at him. “What?”
“Last night,” Yuki clarified, not looking at him. His eyes were fixed on the horizon, sharp and unwavering. “What you said.”
Liam’s stomach dropped. The words he’d spoken in the dark, half-confession and half-regret, came rushing back all at once.
“Oh.” He scrambled for something—anything—to say, but Yuki cut him off.
“It’s okay,” Yuki said, finally turning his gaze toward Liam. “I’m not mad.”
Liam let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, but before he could relax, Yuki kept going.
“But I need you to know something.”
The tone in Yuki’s voice made Liam sit up straighter.
“I didn’t leave because of you,” Yuki said. “Not really. I left because I needed to get away from it—everything. The pressure, the expectations, the way it felt like I was constantly drowning just to keep up.”
Liam swallowed, the guilt tightening again. “Yuki—”
“I hated it,” Yuki interrupted, and for the first time, there was venom in his voice—raw and unfiltered. “I hated how the sport made me feel like I wasn’t enough, no matter how hard I tried. I hated how it chewed me up and spat me out, and I hated how I couldn’t stop loving it even when it hurt me.”
Liam flinched at that, but Yuki didn’t let him sit with it for long.
“I hated myself for not being stronger,” Yuki said, softer now. “For not being able to keep going. But I hated the system more—for making me feel like walking away was my only option.”
Liam didn’t know what to say.
“I didn’t tell you any of this back then because I didn’t want to drag you down with me,” Yuki admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “You deserved your chance. You worked for it. And if I had said something—if I had lashed out—I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”
Liam’s throat felt tight. He wanted to argue, to tell Yuki that he should have said something, that he deserved better—but he also knew Yuki didn’t need that right now.
Instead, Liam reached out, grabbing Yuki’s arm and pulling him down to sit beside him.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said, the words barely scraping past his lips.
“I told you to stop apologizing,” Yuki replied, but this time, there was no bite to it.
They sat there as the sun dipped lower, the sky painted in streaks of orange and pink. Liam glanced at Yuki—at the tattoos and the earrings, at the leather jacket and the guarded expression that had started to soften.
“You’re still my best friend,” Liam said suddenly, surprising even himself.
Yuki turned to look at him, his eyes searching Liam’s face for something unspoken.
“…I know,” Yuki finally said. “You always were.”
And just like that, something shifted—something unspoken but understood.
Yuki leaned back, resting on his elbows as he looked out over the horizon.
“You know,” Yuki said, smirking just slightly, “I was really tempted to make you ride the moped instead.”
Liam burst out laughing, the tension breaking completely.
“I would’ve murdered you,” Liam shot back, nudging Yuki’s shoulder.
Yuki grinned, and for the first time in what felt like forever, it actually reached his eyes.
Yuki watched as Liam laughed, the sound ringing out like music, and for a brief moment, Yuki couldn’t help but think about how much things had changed between them. How much Liam had changed.
The Liam he used to know had always been the lanky, quick-footed kid, with a wide grin and sharp eyes. He used to be all wiry muscles and endless energy, always cracking jokes and never staying still. But now, sitting next to him, Yuki could see how much more solid Liam had become. There was a weight to him now—his shoulders broader, his chest a bit wider, the muscles on his arms defined even through the simple t-shirt he wore. Yuki found himself glancing over, just for a second, before quickly looking away.
It wasn’t just his body. It was how Liam moved now—more controlled, more sure of himself. The reckless energy that used to make him seem like he was always on the edge of falling apart had been replaced by something steadier, something deeper. There was a quiet confidence in the way Liam held himself now, as though he was no longer trying to outrun everything.
Yuki couldn't help but notice it—notice him.
The way Liam's eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled, or how his lips curved into that smirk Yuki used to know so well. And those eyes... They used to be full of mischief and youth, but now, they were different. There was something in them—something Yuki couldn’t quite place but that he knew was there.
It made Yuki’s chest tighten in a way he wasn’t used to.
He glanced at Liam again, just for a moment, catching a look in Liam’s eyes that was almost unreadable, but definitely not the same as before. It was like there was a quiet curiosity there, something that hadn’t been present when they were younger.
And suddenly, Yuki became painfully aware of how close they were, the way their shoulders brushed as they sat next to each other on the grassy hilltop.
He hadn’t meant to, but he let his gaze drift again. He caught the way the sunlight seemed to highlight the contours of Liam’s jawline, the way his chest rose and fell as he laughed, and he felt an unexpected flutter in his stomach. Yuki’s heart skipped a beat, and he quickly turned his head, looking out at the sunset.
“Stop staring,” he muttered under his breath, but even as he said it, he knew that wasn’t really the problem.
He was aware.
Too aware.
It was strange—having Liam so close, knowing that the boy he used to know so well had changed, and yet still carried some pieces of the past with him. Yuki wasn’t sure how to reconcile the way things were now with the way they used to be.
But one thing was clear: There was something different between them now. Something neither of them had quite addressed, but it was there, just beneath the surface, lurking.
Yuki knew that the look Liam had given him earlier hadn’t been just friendly—it had been something else. Something more.
And as much as Yuki tried to push it away, he couldn’t ignore it. He couldn’t pretend it didn’t affect him, because it did. It affected him more than he cared to admit.
So, he did what he always did when things got complicated—he buried it.
“Alright, alright,” Yuki said, clearing his throat and looking at Liam with a teasing grin. “Enough with the sappy looks, yeah? You’re ruining the sunset for me.”
Liam laughed again, but this time there was a hint of something else in his voice—something Yuki couldn’t place, but that sent a flicker of warmth straight to his chest.
Maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling the shift.
The night was thick with unspoken words, the air heavy with something neither of them wanted to name. Okinawa’s quiet buzz seemed to fade into the background as Liam and Yuki sat in the small, dimly lit living room. Everything about the evening felt too real—too final. Tomorrow, Liam would be leaving. He would be back in Austria, back in the factory, preparing for the second half of the Formula 1 season. Yuki, once again, would be left alone, facing the emptiness of his quiet life.
But tonight was the last night. The final night they had together before things went back to how they had always been. It should have been easy—comfortable. They had known each other for years. They should have been able to slip back into their old dynamic. But the silence between them was loud, and the weight of all that had passed between them, all that had been unsaid, sat in the room like an elephant.
Liam stood by the window, his back to Yuki, staring out at the night. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? His mind was a whirl of thoughts—of memories and the electric tension that had been building between them for years. It was maddening, this distance between them. So much time spent pushing it away, hiding from it. And now, with so little time left, he was struggling to breathe.
Yuki, on the other hand, had been quiet too long. His eyes, which had once been playful, mischievous even, now seemed faraway—guarded, like something was holding him back. But tonight, Yuki knew. He couldn’t stay quiet anymore. The ache in his chest, the longing, the hurt—it was too much. The time they had shared here, these stolen moments, had awakened something in him that he couldn’t ignore.
Yuki stood up abruptly, his movements sharp and decisive. He crossed the room in two long strides, his heart pounding in his chest. Without thinking, he reached for Liam, his hand cupping his face. And then, in a moment of utter recklessness, he kissed him.
It was sudden—unplanned, an impulsive act born of frustration, of desire, of the overwhelming pull between them. It was a clash of lips, a rush of heat, of something that had been building for so long that neither of them could hold it back any longer.
Liam froze for a fraction of a second, his mind scrambling to catch up, to make sense of it. But then it was as if something clicked inside him. He kissed Yuki back, his hands moving to Yuki’s waist, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Yuki’s body was warm, so warm, his lips soft but insistent, as if he had been waiting for this moment, too.
It wasn’t perfect, and it certainly wasn’t careful. The kiss was messy, chaotic, as if their bodies were trying to make up for lost time. Yuki's fingers threaded through Liam’s hair, tugging him closer, and for a brief moment, the world outside ceased to exist. It was just them, tangled together, caught in the rush of something neither of them was ready for but both had wanted for far too long.
Yuki’s hands slipped under Liam’s shirt, feeling the heat of his skin beneath his fingertips. He groaned softly, his fingers brushing against the hard muscles of Liam’s torso, each touch sending sparks through him. He wanted more—he needed more. Liam’s body was real, solid, and alive beneath his touch. And Yuki couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t stop the way his body reacted to Liam’s.
Liam’s hands moved quickly, almost desperately, tugging at Yuki’s shirt, pulling it off over his head. The moment the fabric came off, Yuki’s tattoos were revealed. The intricate designs stretched across his body like a map of his past—motorsport-related ink, logos of cars he had once driven, and delicate cherry blossoms that symbolized his Japanese roots. Liam’s eyes widened, taking in the sight of Yuki’s body—of the tattoos that marked him as his own, as someone who had lived a life far beyond the simple confines of this small island.
Yuki watched the way Liam’s gaze lingered on his body, the intensity in his eyes making him feel exposed. But it was a good kind of exposure. It was the kind of vulnerability that felt like freedom, the kind that told him that he didn’t have to hide anymore.
Liam’s hands roamed down Yuki’s back, and the touch sent a shiver down his spine. His body reacted to the pressure of Liam’s fingers, his breath coming faster as they stumbled toward the bedroom. It was like they couldn’t get there fast enough, as if the distance between them wasn’t enough. Liam was pulling him closer, urging him forward, until finally, they fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.
Yuki didn’t hesitate. He kissed Liam again, deeper this time, pulling him closer, feeling the heat of his body. Liam responded with equal intensity, his hands roaming across Yuki’s skin as if trying to memorize every inch of him. They were both lost in the kiss, in the sensation of their bodies colliding, of finally being able to touch, to feel, to express everything they had hidden for so long.
Liam pulled away for a breath, his chest heaving as he looked down at Yuki. His eyes were dark with desire, and Yuki could see the storm brewing inside him. But there was something else there too—a softness, a tenderness that took Yuki by surprise. Liam wasn’t just here for the heat of the moment. He was here, with Yuki, because something deeper had been awakened.
Yuki pulled him back down, not wanting to break the contact. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to feel Liam’s hands on him, his lips on his skin, forever. But before they could continue, Yuki paused, his breath coming in shallow gasps.
“Liam,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t keep pretending. Not anymore.”
Liam looked at him, confusion flickering in his eyes, but Yuki could see the understanding in them too. He could feel it in the way their bodies were pressed together, in the way the air between them had shifted. They were no longer just friends, no longer just two people sharing a space. They were something more. And for the first time in a long time, Yuki didn’t want to run away from it.
He kissed Liam again, pulling him back into the abyss, into the overwhelming tide of desire and longing that had been building for years. Neither of them had the strength to fight it anymore.
They tumbled into the night, their bodies tangled together, lost in each other. Yuki’s hands roamed over Liam’s body, feeling the rough edges of muscle and skin, tracing the lines that had hardened over the years. His fingers traced the scars and the tattoos, feeling the marks that told the story of Liam’s life. And Liam, in turn, explored every inch of Yuki’s body, his touch tender but insistent.
For the first time, there were no barriers between them. No hesitation. No walls. Just two bodies, entwined, the bared skin intertwined with the tattoo-covered one, falling into the abyss of everything they had been hiding for so long.
And as they kissed, as they gave in to the heat between them, Yuki knew—this wasn’t just a goodbye. It was the beginning of something new. Something neither of them had ever expected, but both had needed all along.
Their bodies moved together, a symphony of passion and need, and neither of them was willing to stop until the world outside no longer existed. Until all that remained was this—this moment, this feeling, this connection that neither of them could deny.
The room was still, save for the occasional sound of the wind brushing against the windows. The night had fallen deeper, the only light now a faint glow from the streetlights outside. The chaos of earlier had subsided, leaving an overwhelming sense of peace.
Liam and Yuki lay tangled beneath the soft, worn blanket, their bodies spent and warm. They had cleaned up, both moving in quiet synchrony as if they were scared that even the slightest movement might break the delicate air between them. But now, in the aftermath, all that remained was the comfort of being close.
Liam lay behind Yuki, his chest pressed gently against Yuki's back, his arm draped across his side. Yuki’s body, small but firm, fit perfectly against him. He could feel Yuki’s breath, steady and deep, as if he were still processing everything that had just happened. Liam closed his eyes for a moment, his hand unconsciously moving up and down Yuki’s arm, soothing and rhythmic.
For the first time in what felt like forever, the weight of everything—the miles, the months apart, the years of unspoken words—seemed to lift. In this small moment, everything felt right. The reality of the night had settled, and now there was only silence. The comfortable kind, the kind that allowed both of them to exist without the need for words.
But the silence between them grew too heavy, and Liam could no longer ignore the turmoil swirling in his chest. He needed to say it. He needed to speak his truth. He had never been good at these kinds of moments, the delicate ones where emotions ran deeper than anything he had ever known.
With a deep breath, Liam shifted just slightly, his face burying itself into the crook of Yuki's neck. He inhaled deeply, the scent of Yuki’s skin mingling with the fresh scent of the ocean breeze that lingered in the room. He let his breath steady, his hand gently brushing against Yuki’s side.
“Yuki,” Liam began, his voice softer than usual. “I don’t think you understand what this—what tonight—means to me.” He hesitated, feeling his heart beat faster, like a racing car ready to take off. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like everything is different now. Everything we’ve been pretending—it’s like we’ve both been running from it. From what we really feel.”
Yuki remained quiet for a moment, and Liam wasn’t sure if he was listening or if the words had startled him. But then Yuki shifted, rolling just enough so that his back was to Liam, his face half hidden in the pillow. But Liam could feel the tension in his shoulders, the way he stiffened as if he was bracing himself for something.
“I think I’ve known for a long time,” Yuki said quietly, his voice low but steady. “But... I’ve been scared. Scared to admit it. Because if I do, it means things can never go back to how they were. And part of me... part of me doesn’t know if I can handle that.”
Liam’s heart skipped a beat. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts, his own feelings, that he hadn’t stopped to consider Yuki’s fears. He could feel the uncertainty in Yuki’s words, and it hit him hard. The truth was, neither of them had ever been good at confronting what they really felt. They had danced around it, pretended it didn’t matter.
Liam reached out, his hand settling gently on Yuki’s waist, pulling him a little closer. His touch was soft, almost reverent. “Yuki, I...” He didn’t know how to continue. The words felt too big to fit into the space between them, but he couldn’t back down now. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to go back to the way things were before. I can’t.”
There was a long pause, one that stretched on for what felt like an eternity. The weight of their unspoken truths hung in the air, thick with the things they hadn’t said. Yuki was still, but Liam could feel the faint tremor in his body. He could sense that Yuki was processing everything, considering the weight of Liam’s confession, his own feelings.
Yuki finally turned in his arms, his face now fully visible, his expression unreadable but gentle. “I don’t know what to do with this,” he whispered. “With us. I’ve always thought of you as my best friend. But this... this is different.”
Liam's thumb brushed gently against Yuki's skin, his gaze locked on his eyes. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “We don’t have to figure everything out right now. But I can’t go back to pretending I don’t care. Not after tonight. Not after everything we’ve shared.”
Yuki’s eyes softened, and for a moment, Liam thought he might say something more. But instead, Yuki closed the gap between them, his lips pressing against Liam’s in a quiet kiss. It wasn’t desperate like the first, but it was still full of the same urgency, the same emotion. Yuki’s lips were soft against his, and as they kissed, Liam felt everything they hadn’t said—everything they had been too scared to admit—finally begin to unravel.
When they pulled away, there was an understanding between them. Unspoken, but clear. They didn’t need to have all the answers. They didn’t need to figure out the future right now. But tonight, here, in this small bed, in the comfort of the warmth they had created together, they could simply be.
Liam’s hand moved to Yuki’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his skin, his heart full of something he couldn’t name, but it felt like home. “I’m not going anywhere, Yuki,” Liam whispered, his voice full of sincerity. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
Yuki’s gaze softened, his hand resting over Liam’s chest, where his heartbeat was still racing. “I don’t know what tomorrow holds, Liam,” he said quietly. “But for tonight... I’m here. With you. And that’s enough.”
And with that, they lay there, wrapped in the comfort of each other’s arms, knowing that whatever came next, they had taken the first step. Together.
The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting soft beams across the room. The air felt different today—more fragile, like it was holding its breath. The events of the night before seemed to have changed everything, though neither of them had spoken much about it in the hours that followed. Now, as the sun rose higher, it was time to face the reality of the inevitable. Liam had to leave. The season would continue, and he had commitments to fulfill in Europe.
Yuki was already up, packing a small bag with a few things, his movements deliberate but slower than usual. He seemed lost in his thoughts, his gaze distant as he folded clothes into his suitcase. Liam watched him from the bed, lying on his back, arms behind his head. He didn’t know what to say. The words felt inadequate, but he knew this moment had to come.
The silence was heavy, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that lingered when two people had finally come to terms with what they felt but didn’t yet know how to say it out loud.
After a while, Yuki turned toward him, his expression unreadable, but there was a softness in his eyes. “I’ll walk you to the airport,” Yuki said quietly, breaking the silence.
Liam nodded, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. “Thanks, Yuki.” His voice was thick with emotion, but he couldn’t help it. Saying goodbye always felt like an impossibility, especially now. Not when everything had changed.
The drive to the airport was quiet, the hum of the motorcycle engine beneath them the only sound as they made their way through the streets of the small island. Yuki’s leather jacket fluttered slightly in the wind, and for the briefest moment, Liam wondered if they could just drive forever—if they could escape the reality that was waiting for them on the other side.
When they arrived, Yuki parked the bike and turned off the engine, the soft clink of the key as he pulled it from the ignition ringing in the still air. Neither of them spoke immediately, both of them knowing the end was near. It was the kind of goodbye that neither of them was ready for.
They stood for a moment, the silence between them now a heavy weight that neither wanted to carry. Liam’s chest tightened, the realization that this was the last time he would see Yuki for a while settling deep within him. His hand instinctively reached out, and before he could stop himself, he pulled Yuki into a tight hug.
Yuki’s arms wrapped around him just as quickly, and for a moment, neither of them moved. The world around them felt far away, like nothing existed except the two of them in that single embrace. Liam could feel Yuki’s heart beating against his chest, steady and strong, and it gave him the strength he needed to say the words that had been swirling in his mind all morning.
“I’ll miss you,” Liam whispered, his voice thick. “I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but I’ll make sure to contact you. I promise.”
Yuki pulled back just slightly, his hands on Liam’s shoulders, eyes meeting his with a softness that made Liam’s heart ache. “I’ll miss you too,” Yuki said, his voice steady, but there was a trace of something deeper in his words. “We’ll figure it out. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
Liam chuckled softly, though it felt like it was born out of nerves more than humor. “You better not. I don’t know if I could handle that.”
Yuki smiled, a small, knowing smile that made Liam’s chest tighten. “We’ll see each other again. When the time is right.”
Liam nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He had to let go, he knew that. But it didn’t make it any easier. He took a deep breath and offered Yuki a small smile, trying to mask the feeling that threatened to overwhelm him.
“You better take care of yourself, Yuki,” Liam said quietly. “Promise me you won’t work yourself too hard. I don’t want you burning out on me.”
Yuki raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a smirk. “You’re one to talk. You drive race cars for a living. Don’t tell me you’re not pushing yourself to the limit every single day.”
Liam laughed softly, his hand resting briefly on Yuki’s arm. “Touché. I guess we both have our ways of taking things too far.”
Yuki’s expression softened again, and he placed a hand on Liam’s chest, just over his heart. “Take care, Liam. I’ll be here, waiting for when the time comes to see you again.”
Liam smiled, his throat tightening once more. He stepped back, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He had to go now. He didn’t want to drag it out any longer than necessary.
But before he could turn to walk into the airport, Yuki’s voice stopped him. “Hey, Liam.”
He turned, looking back over his shoulder at Yuki.
“You’re always welcome here,” Yuki said with a slight nod, the weight of his words settling between them. “No matter where you go. Just remember that.”
Liam’s heart swelled, and without thinking, he crossed the small distance between them and pulled Yuki into another quick hug, holding him tightly for just a moment longer. He could feel Yuki’s warmth, his steady heartbeat, and for a brief second, he wished they could freeze this moment in time.
“I’ll be back,” Liam said, his voice resolute.
Yuki didn’t respond with words, but instead, gave him a small smile, the kind that spoke volumes more than any sentence ever could. The promise was made, not with grand gestures, but with the quiet understanding between them.
As Liam turned and walked toward the airport, he didn’t look back, but the weight of Yuki’s presence lingered with him. He knew, deep down, that this wasn’t goodbye. It was simply the beginning of something they had both been too afraid to admit.
And when the time came, they would find their way back to each other. They had to. Because this—what they shared—was too real to let slip away.
32 notes · View notes
reyunli · 2 months ago
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/reyunli/782946523854094336/dirrty-qs-looks-like-most-fics-i-see-are-luka-x?source=share
luka loved lively so much. i think he was really the first big that was both young (and matched with luka's timeline) and just smart with the way he played. he wasn't just tall and gangly. their games were perfect for each other. like you could see in their first game together luka looked at lively with stars in his eyes. also one of the things that i feel like went unnoticed, luka NEVER yelled at lively meanwhile we have multiple incidents of luka getting pissed at gafford - i think it's cute considering luka probably had coaches and older teammates giving him tough love since he was a child. for uke luka i also like him with pj and kyrie. pj was always the first one to notice whenever a player was getting rough with luka and he'd be the first one to notice and get himself involved, it's how we got the moment with westbrook. when it comes to kyrie i feel like he gets forced into being the uke because of his height but in every moment with luka we see him acting like a puppy with kyrie, being praised by him, burying his face in his shoulder, kyrie patting his head etc i really am about to dump an entire unsolicited essay on you i apologize in advance
oh my goodness please dump all of your essays cuz these are AMAZING PLEASE so happy ppl been seeing the vision omg no one was talking abt them i was dying 😭 i would also like to drop an unsolicited essay in thanks for your time writing this i love it
lively and luka are just perfect for each other and i think i had it in my memo after the mavs playin loss abt the discussion around lively's stats and everything:
after the game i searched lively on twitter and the result was literally
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i felt so bad for pookie lively because he's so young and talented, also just coming out of injury that's AGGRAVATED by the trainers, yet a few bad games when he's still adjusting to the changes made ppl doubt his talent and career...
but it was precisely because of the fact that lively and luka were perfect for each other and luka unlocks his potential so much that luka's name is going to be an indelible part of his entire career. he will always be compared to himself by other ppl because of luka and his career so far has literally been divided into two, one with luka and one without :(((((( we are probably going to think abt their whatifs a lot in the future, and for them the future was so so bright until that person ruined everything
the weight of this is gnawing at me but it's...such an interesting dynamic...a heartbreaking one. :(
and the low assists from luka during the playoffs really tells you how important it is for luka to have a lob threat and lively's chemistry with luka really has been the best out of all the bigs he's had. that's why ppl are saying they need each other.
listening to qdot talking abt their reaction that night and he said lively was saying what is happening and all cursing out ://// naji saying just yesterday that he misses luka. 💔
and the lakers mavs game, lively really couldn't guard him either, i think he's probably also a bit heartbroken and lost having to guard luka who was beside him
EDIT: and pj yea being the enforcer that he is he is also terribly missed too, nobody was standing up for luka on the lakers when he's being hacked on court 😔 luka loves it when ppl can stand up for him and protect him he was literally cheesing when pj did that.
and yea ppl tend to see shorter ppl as ukes it's probably a no brainer for yaoi and also ppl just see luka more as a dominant hypermasculine type of guy judging by his on court mannerisms, and he's tall and strong. and what ur talking abt is that's how i personally see this ship too but i understand it's different for everyone i just like puppy uke luka.
kyrie is special because luka is so gentle with him but also really kind of mentally reliant on him and clingy because kyrie is one of his fav players growing up and is a leader with lots ups and downs.
and to kyrie luka is probably constantly radiating healing energy because of who he is and i think luka is the kind of person that really likes you if you are willing to open up to him first and express your feelings sincerely, which kyrie does all the time. because kyrie has shown him it's okay to be vulnerable and luka can be vulnerable and comfortable with it when he's with him that luka naturally becomes a lot more babygirl (sorry ive been abusing this word lately) when he's with kyrie
this is getting so long i need to stop myself here but that's SOME of my thoughts abt them why do i yap so much im sorry for everyone who took the time to read this
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wazzappp · 1 year ago
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Alrighty my dudes buckle up
GHOST RIDER D&D AU
also WOE. ART STYLE CHANGE BE UPON YE.
First things first thank you to my beloved mutual @moosemonstrous, who was basically the brains behind the operation I basically just wanted an excuse to draw tiefling Robbie and then got smacked in the face with an awesome story way beyond what I had ever thought of with KILLER fucking lore to match <3.
While I usually like to start with Robbie when introducing an AU, we're going to unfortunately have to start with Eli. A man who fucked up so monumentally that the kinda sorta god he's supposed to be serving went 'Bitch??? How about NO.' and humbled him faster than my DM can say 'roll perception'.
Ok I'm getting ahead of myself. Eli is pretty much the same personality wise as he is in canon. Insecure and desperate for power/control. He grew up surviving with Beto by doing jobs for the Myriad crime syndicate. Somewhere along the way he started serving his patron, Desirat, the twilight phoenix, in exchange for her power.
Im just going to directly quote what moose said about Desirat cause its phrased WONDERFULLY:
"Desirat, The Twilight Phoenix - companion and mount of Asmodeus during an ancient war, was torn from her master and captured by uppity mages. They were eventually killed, but she remained chained under a mountain, creating weird thermal phenomena in the area. Her sanity fractured in isolation so she thinks herself divine, and she lends through dreams and visions to those who 'carry a seed of fiery vengeance'. She now speaks to the minds of those who lie spurned and angry at night, calling them to unlock their inner flame and let Desirat aid them in their vengeance."
Desirat chose Eli as her champion to free her. She believed his faults would make him easy to manipulate for her purposes.
But eventually Beto wanted to settle down, and Eli refused to (to quote moose) 'Stop that warlock bullshit that EVERYONE SAID will get him in trouble'. And the brothers separate. During that time, Eli gets it in his head that he can steal more power from her by becoming a Litch. Great! In order to become a Litch he needs to have the most important person to him engage in a willing life sacrifice. Not great.
So he finds Beto and tries to get him to oblige to his sacrifice, and while there might have been a time where Beto might have laid down his life for his brother, he wont anymore. He has a family now. People who rely on him who AREN'T Eli. Unfortunatly, Eli is PISSED by this and kills Beto even though he isn't a willing sacrifice. Eli figures 'Whose really gonna care? A life is a life right?'
DESIRAT cares. She basically obliterates Eli on the spot and stores his lifeforce for later purposes.
(all stat sheets curtosy of the great Moose. Also I feel obligated to mention there was a scary moment during the art process where Eli looked like a beautiful butch lesbian. Horrifying.)
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After Eli's spiritual, physical, and magical bitch slap, Desirat starts looking down his bloodline for a NEW champion. Lucky her, Robbie is RIGHT THERE. Protective of his brother, a strong sense of justice even from a young age, a hatred of when things aren't fair; he's PERFECT. She has plans for this one. Eli was a good test run. But she has IMPROVEMENTS planned for Robbie.
So Desirat waits until Robbie is old enough and strong enough to serve her purposes. In that time, Julianna goes out adventuring to get more coin so she can pay for Gabe's treatments of Greater Restoration and just. General food and water and general supplies. But she doesn't come back. She was responsible though and hired someone who was willing to take what she could offer to take care of the boys. Gabe still believes that she's still out there and trying to come back to them. Robbie thinks she's either bailed on them for a life of adventure or dead.
Around when Robbie turns 18, Desirat puts her plans into effect. Seeing as tieflings carry innate magical abilities (most commonly thaumaturgy, hellish rebuke, and darkness) it would be far more advantageous for her champion to be a tiefling than human. In the span of about 4 months, Robbie goes through a rather drastic transformation.
His fingernails harden, then blacken, then sharpen. Awful pressure builds in his skull that is only relived when the beginnings of horns break through his skin. A similar process begins with a lump forming at his tail bone and eventually bursting out into a long pointed tail. His canine teeth fall out and grow back in sharper and longer. His eyes cloud over to black and yellow, all the while his skin reddens and forms hard ridges on his arms, ribs and spine.
To say this is disorienting and painful is an understatement. Not to mention how it changes how the other people around the village look at him (not to mention how it changes how he looks at himself). Even though the stigma around tieflings isn't as strong as it once was, it eventually causes Robbie to be out of a job. So he decides to sell the house, pack up his things, prepare schooling money for his brother and move to the city where more opportunities will hopefully await.
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GABE!!! THE LITTLE ADHGH. Idk why but I got extreme cute aggression when drawing this version of him fdjkslaf.
Gabe still has CP like he does in canon, but with the magical advantages of ✨Greater Restoration✨ he can generally function pretty well. He still gets tired sometimes though, so he carries around a walking staff as an aid just in case he needs one (also he can go whack whack. at least thats what Robbie tells him when he gets a little self conscious carrying it around).
Robbie has saved up enough money for Gabe to get a months worth of schooling at the Dawn Father Chantry in the city so he can learn to cast Greater Restoration on himself. Gabe's recent growth spurt has been causing him to need more and more frequent healings, and the Chantry in their home village of Hill Rock has been less and less obliging as of late (partially due to Robbies recent uh... condition. not that anyone would dare say it to his face of course).
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Some extra fun doodles with expressions and thinking about how Desirat might look and interact with Robbie. I love when gods have a kind of twisted love for their special chosen people (plus some fun transformation horror cause its ✨me✨ were talking about what did you expect).
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Also I really REALLY liked that top left sketch and got the rendering itch so I had some fun and painted it in.
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Theres a whole fuckin. Second post to this au all lined up cause Moose when HAM on this. But its gonna take some more character designs so I'll need just a little time. but this will not be the last you see of this lol I promise <3
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creative-caramel-coffee · 2 years ago
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Chesty coughs and cuddles
Pairings: Wanda x R
Prompt: “You’ve kept that cough through two colds and it sounds like you’re on your third.”  (From Sombre Sapphics blog prompts)
Word count: 738
Summary: you have a cough that wont go away.
TW: chest infection, fever, almost fainting, infirmary, medical check up
A/n I might post two fics today because their both a bit short.
“You’ve kept that cough through two colds and it sounds like you’re on your third.” Wanda frowned as you hunched over on the couch coughs wracking your form.
“Forth” you croaked when you had finally stopped.
“What?” Wanda asked unsure she had heard you correctly
“Forth cold.” You clarified
“right. we’re going to Bruce” wanda said pulling you into a sitting position.
“Nooo i was comfy.” You whined.
“Babe this isn’t normal. You need to see a doctor.” Wanda reasoned pulling you to your feet. When you were upright your vision swam and you stumbled forward, luckily wanda wrapped her arms around you to stop you from falling flat on your face.
“Woah there tiger, nice and easy.” She said. “Wrap your legs around my waist love and I’ll carry you.” So you did. Like a toddler your head rested by her neck and your arms around her neck with your flying flush to her torso. She held you up under your thighs, but you were too tired to care.
“Baby girl, you feel a bit warm sweets. Have you taken your temperature lately?” She cooed. You buried your face in her neck and mumbled softly
“‘M not a baby.” You whined
“Ok love.” She chuckled realising you were a bit too far gone to response in your hazy fevered state. “I’ll get Bruce to check when we see him.” She cooed. And you whined at the mention of going to the sick bay.
“Baby trust me it’ll make you feel better.” She soothed.
“Don’t wanna.” You whined hearing Jarvis announce you were here.
Wanda carefully set you down on the bed, having to sit down herself as you clung to her and refused to let go.
“What can i do for you two girls today?” Bruce asked wiping his hands on his lab coat.
“Y/n/n’s had a cough for about three colds-“
“Four”
“Four colds and i think she has a fever, i was just hoping you could check her out to make sure its nothing serious.” Wanda said patting your back as you began to squirm.
“Ok. Y/n/n can you look at me for a sec.” Bruce asked, running the tip of the thermometer over your forehead.
“Hmm 100.7 not dangerous but still a fever id like to keep an eye on.” Bruce said more to himself than anyone else.
“Has she had any meds?” He asked grabbing a stethoscope.
“Not yet i don’t think.”
“Give her a Tylenol and see how her fever reacts” he said slipping the metal tip under your shirt and unto your back. You squirmed at the cool metal and wanda held you tighter shushing you softly.
“Hmm her breathing sounds a bit crackly. I think she has a chest infection, ill need to do more tests.” He said. “Jarvis scan Y/n’s chest and send the report to my lab computer.” He said walking over to his desk.
“Scan complete.” Jarvis said.
“It seems i was right, Ms L/n has a nasty chest infection.” He said as you began coughing again.
“I’ll give her some antibiotics and when she finishes the course bring her back for another check up to see if its cleared.” He said pressing a box of green and white pills into Wanda’s palm.
“For now she needs rest and to keep an eye on her temp. Let me or Jarvis know if it gets above 103 and I’ll give her an ice bath if needed. If you like i can have Jarvis send live updates of her stats to my computer if that makes you feel better.”
“That would be great thanks Bruce.” Wanda said. “Well i better get this one to bed.” Wanda said as you nuzzled into her neck again.
“Thanks again Bruce.” Wanda said and you slurred something incomprehensible.
“Its alright girls don’t hesitate to contact me if you need anything at all.”
You must have fallen asleep sometime on the way back because the next thing you knew you were asleep in your bed with your girlfriend.
Life was good, even if it was hard to breathe.
MASTERLIST
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bangchansslut6 · 1 year ago
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{Desperate for your love..}
Part one...
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°•°•—Authors note: SO I've been gone..for about a year🙈 i honestly forgot I have a blog and now only remembered. I've had this idea in mind for awhile so..YAY!! Also i decided to make this into TWO parts so i could upload the first one faster!!•°•°—
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°•°•—WARNINGS: fem reader, Smut, Fluff kinda, WATERBORDING, comfort, kidnapping? Blood, vampires, alcohol, breeding kink, blood kink, dom kink, corruption kink, virgin reader, innocent reader, Dom!Chan, Sub!Reader. Chan is a vampire Reader is human and is described as curvy—•°•°
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Chan was known all over the land. His whole family was. The Bahngs the most dangerous vampire family that had ever been reported. Their king, James Bahng was a special type of vampire and had led that onto his three sons including Chan.
They were all extremely feared and nobody dared approached the forest they were said to live in.
Chan was the oldest of three brothers. He was now at the age of 2667 or in human years that would be 26. And still not married. Chan was known as the strict and cold brother. He was known to be extremely quiet and cold but VERY powerful. Chans power stat could go higher then his father.
It was a usual half moon night. The air was gloomy and foggy. Chan was walking around the forest hands behind his back. He had black dress pants on with some black shoes. A red button up and a black royal vest with a black coat on. A silver chain around his neck and some rings on his fingers.
Walking around the gloomy night Chan heard the humans cheering. With curiosity Chan walked towards the sound to see them cheering as a woman. A beautiful woman. Was tied to a tub filled with water. She had a bag over her head and was continually being submerged in the water. Chan could hear her crying from where he was standing.
Usually he wouldn't have cared. But this woman made his heart race and his palms get sweaty for no reason. He looked forward looking at her body. His eyes felt a slight sting before going back to normal..did..he just get a zing?
A zing was a thing that vampires got once they found true love. And there was Chans. About to die. A zing happened only once in a vampires life and Chans was finally here.
Stepping out the shadows Chan made himself present and all the villagers yelled in fear and ran while the woman was still tied. Chan walked over to her and untied to knot letting her fall but catching her before she did.
She was beautiful. Her hair and body and skin. She was breathtaking. Picking her up in his arms Chan looked down at her. His blood red eyes shining a bit in the moonlight.
"Why must humans ruin everything beautiful?" Chan whispered to himself touching readers cheek with his cold hand. "Your so freaking adorable. Like a little bunny. Now your my bunny." Chan grabbed her waist picking her up bridal style.
—Reader POV—
I felt air finally hit my lungs. I trembled the night was cold against my damp dress. My vision was blurry. Who was this man? I didn't know. But his features and his strength made me blush. I didn't fight back. I couldn't I was too weak and out of breath.
When I opened my eyes again I saw we were indoors. In his house I'm guessing. I was on a bed. A big bed. It was black with silk and cotton covers.
The room is dark..too dark to see my surroundings. I can see a desk and a closet though..where am I?
Finally after awhile of quiet thinking I stand up grabbing onto anything I could not to fall because my legs were so sore. But then there's a sound. A sound of a out of tune piano playing a creepy tune. Of course it sounds nice but the echo makes me shiver in fear but also confusion. I needed to leave. Now.
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°•°•—AUTHORS NOTE: SOO this is the first part and honestly I think I did horrible! 😭 I've been reading it over and over and I just think it's bad. As you all know I am a new writer so their is definitely some BAD mistakes and I know it's short but I promise part two will be better!!—•°•°
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enihk-writes · 2 years ago
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[eyes closed]
pairing: baek cheon x afab!reader
summary: improper use of a forehead ribbon
content warning: fingering (masturbation) // sensual deprivation (vision) // restricted movements (not bondage) // baek cheon gets called a good boy (among other pet-names), cries during sex truther, is a bottom (kinda) // humping // raw (please use protection) // prone-bone // missionary // (very minor) mind-break // (possible) breeding kink // squirting // creampie // generally messy
word count: 2.25k
author's note: i saw a very specific oc x baek cheon twt fanart that im too ashamed to tag or link rn,,, where the oc was blindfolded and yea.... i started having thoughts.... and i also stared too long at another fanart (sfw) and it also had my mind wandering. i am going to hell, how could i lewd my wife like this!!!!! I AM SOOOOO FUCKING DISTRAUGHT RN!!!!!! I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO BE IN THIS FANDOM AND TAKE OVER MY JOB STAT!!!!!! (going to sit and stare at the ceiling before i post to let the stuff i just wrote sink in)
[18+ NSFW CONTENT BELOW, MINORS DNI]
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poor baek cheon who had innocently given you his signature ribbon to play around with, watching as you try and fail to tie it around your head the same way he did and gradually growing frustrated.
earnest baek cheon who had offered to do it for you, standing in front of you as his hands tried to undo the tricky knot you had clumsily made. the ribbon falling over your eyes as you giggle in embarrassment from having to ask your lover to do something this simple for you.
flustered baek cheon who sees the white ribbon cover your eyes as you look up at him from the chair you sat on. his face grows red and heated rapidly as obscene images of you in compromising positions — blindfolded, undressed and writhing beneath him on his bed, flash through his mind. he tries desperately rid himself of these inappropriate thoughts by shaking his head, to no avail.
flustered baek cheon who realises that you've begun to catch onto his uncharacteristic silence and stiffening body. your devious little grin growing wider as you bury your face in his stomach, rubbing your cheek against him affectionately. pity his ribbon was still around your eyes or you would have been rewarded with the most delightful expression on his perfect face.
flustered baek cheon who lets you walk him backwards into his bed, who watched you go down on your knees as your hands push his legs apart, who lets you place a quick peck on his growing bulge and then another on his exposed skin, right where his happy trail started. your lips drag downwards, leaving behind soft bites and lingering kisses until you stop at the hem of his pants. you tilt your head to rest your cheek against his thigh, asking him if he wanted to continue or have you stop.
he lets out a desperate whine, pleading with you to go on. please don't be so cruel as to leave him hanging like this.
sensitive baek cheon who tries not to buck up his hips into your mouth when you pull down his pants, alternating between kissing the tip of his shaft and giving kitten licks to clean off the precum escaping the slit. there wasn't much else he could do in his position other than bend his head down to watch you suck him off.
obedient baek cheon who tries his hardest to stay still, your curt voice repeatedly ringing in his mind. but it was so difficult! you were teasing him so frequently, building him up to his release and suddenly stopping — over and over again. he lets out a shaky plea to be nice, he loves it just as much as he hates it whenever you decide to be mean to him in bed.
obedient baek cheon who doesn't resist when you order him to place his hands behind him and then push him to lie on the bed. he loved it when you coo and kiss his tear-stained cheeks, the result of holding himself back from grabbing your head and using your mouth to get himself off. he loved when you would praise him for being so good to you, that a good boy like him should be duly rewarded.
he watched you untie the strings keeping your sleepwear together, the front falling open to expose your naked chest. ah, if only his hands weren't behind him. he wanted to reach up and cup your soft mounds in his hands. he wanted to roll, pinch and pull your nipples around his fingers until it got hard and perky.
your hands reach under his own shirt to palm at his stomach, more specifically, his abs. your touches were light and ticklish and he couldn't help but tremble and gasp from the sensation.
my sweet boy, do you like it when i do this?
you lean down to whisper next to his ear, kissing up his neck and jaw, nibbling on the skin here and there. your clothed cunt rubbing against his still-hard cock, dragging up and down as slowly as you could, all while your fingers tapped at his sides playfully.
pitiful baek cheon who could only let out hiccups and sobs from the multitude of sensations you were giving him. for someone who had been blindfolded, you were awfully good at knowing exactly where he was the most sensitive. you gave him a final peck, lifting yourself off him to sit up properly. your hands rest on his abs as you grind your crotch harder down his twitching dick, smiling when he jerks upwards to meet your hips.
he feels light-headed as he feels the muscles in his groin tighten. through his blurred, teary gaze, he could see you concentrated on riding him to his release — your head falling forwards, mouth hung open as breathless gasps leave your lips.
you push down once more, this time rougher and baek cheon chokes back a drawn-out whine as he feels his cum shoot up and splatter across his bare stomach.
you smile a little tiredly at him, flopping sideways on the soft sheets. you stretch your body, back arching as your joints pop.
cheon-ah. come here, please?
obedient baek cheon who listens to your every word crawls over to where you lay. you kick off your pants, soaked in both yours and his essence, to the side — forgotten on the floor along with all of your other clothes. your hand reached downwards, opening the folds with two fingers as your middle finger traces figure eights around your clit and fluttering hole.
are you looking at it?
you tease your lover, head rolling to the side, your free hand fondling your breasts. baek cheon feels his jaw drop at the show you were putting on for him. there had been a lot going on within the sect that had kept the both of you too busy to see each other, even at night. he really, really missed you. and he's also forgotten from all that time away that you were sometimes... like this.
cheon-ah... you put this blindfold on me... and you're so quiet? ahh... i'm so hurt that my lover is so mean to me...
your voice calls out to him like a siren song, faking a hurt voice when he didn't move or make a sound at any of your questions earlier.
no... i...
flustered baek cheon who stumbles over his words trying to assure you that wasn't the case... earning a giggle from you. the way he got bashful so easily was always of great joy for you, could anyone blame you though? he was just too fun to tease.
shh... shh... you're right... my cheon-ah would never be mean to me. my baek cheon is the loveliest in the world, isn't he hm?
you shush his quiet hiccups, feeling a little guilty for pushing his buttons a little too far. you bring his face closer to you, kissing away the tears falling over his cheeks, kissing on the trembling corners of his mouth turned downwards. you wanted to lift your blindfold to see him properly but the noises he made throughout thus far had been a whole experience in itself.
sweet baek cheon who brightens at your kisses, who sniffles and returns them back with vigour. like a puppy who hasn't seen their beloved human in years, he peppers your whole face, lips pressing against every inch of your skin. your hand reaches down again to rub your forgotten clit, moaning against baek cheon's lips, stopping just as you felt yourself about to come undone.
cheon-ah... do you want to put it in?
your fingers wrap around his length, pumping till it was hard again. he shuffles his position, his tip prodding at your entrance, the wetness easing him in. he watches in fascination as your fluttering cunt seemed to be sucking him in each time he pressed against it.
he spreads your legs further apart, bringing your knees up your sides, finally pushing his cock in you so slowly you wanted to move your hips down. but it was times like this when baek cheon thought ahead, pinning your hands down with your knees so you couldn't move as freely as you'd like. tch, smart bastard.
you sighed in relief when you finally felt all of him in you, your walls squeezing down on his length, waiting for him to move.
he starts off a little uncertain, trying to find a good pace which picks up as he went along. his hands leave your thighs to wrap around your back, hugging you close to him and burying his face in the crook of your neck.
he ruts needily into you, your sensitive bundle of nerves sending burning jolts up your body — arching your back further into him. his hot breaths on your neck move down towards your chest as you feel him press open-mouthed kisses over your skin, lips latching on one of your breasts, his tongue flicking against your hardening nipple sending waves of liquid pleasure down to your already-soaked core.
you could feel the back of your ears burn in shame when the squelching noises of baek cheon's length going in and out of you grew louder and sloppier. you could only hope that there wasn't anyone around to hear this obscene noise.
'm... close... i'm close...
dazed baek cheon who has been reduced to incoherent babbles as he moves against you, lips kissing every inch of your chest, leaving bite marks and bruises on your skin that you were sure you'd have trouble covering up when this was over. he lifts his head, and you can feel his chin resting on your ribs. if only you could see his teary eyes looking at you hazily.
dazed baek cheon whose movements have begun to slow down, drawing out each motion as you feel his hips stutter against you. he thrusts in a few more times before you felt the familiar warmth of his cum staining your insides. his lips met yours for another heated make-out, teeth nibbling on your kiss-swollen lips as he parts away to pull out of your warm walls.
he flips you over clearly not done with you yet.
cheon-ah?
you call out in surprise, not expecting that he still had the energy to go on. baek cheon on the other hand was very much far gone. all that was in his head was to keep on pumping his dick in your sweet and perfect cunny, all shaped up to fit around him like a glove, until you were too full to keep his cum in you. he's always wondered how it would leak out of you if he pressed his hand down on the tiny bump that would form on your stomach.
you were still so wet when he slipped his cock back inside, you feel your walls flutter down on his length, a quiet whine trapped in your throat at the overstimulation of your sensitive nerves. your lover mummers apologies as he kisses up and down your bare back, his hands holding onto yours to keep them in place.
where... ah! did you... haah... learn all these from?
your poor thing, you weren't even given the chance to finish your sentence when a deep thrust into you had your voice trailing off into desperate moans. thankfully muffled by the sheets you'd buried your face in. the lack of your sight and movements from being pinned down by baek cheon on top of you had shifted all your focus down to your sloppy hole getting drilled mercilessly like rabbits in heat.
your mind feels as though there were cotton balls filled in them, quickly going blank as the air in your lungs left in a cry, your whole body trembled under your lover, back arching into the bed as you feel all the heat in your body leaving through your pussy and soaking the sheets under you.
kissing you on your shoulder, your lover helps you through your high, gently grinding against you until your trembling ceased. baek cheon cums again with a choked-back grunt, pulling out of you, watching the way his dick and your cunt were connected by a translucent, sticky string of slick.
sorry for the mess, i'll clean you up right now...
responsible baek cheon who always took the time and care to make you comfortable before going to bed. he'd usually have a bucket of water and towels sitting at the corner of the room on nights you and him had sex. but with how spontaneous it had been tonight, he was ashamed to find out that he had nothing prepped.
responsible baek cheon who had picked up his discarded top to clean you up with, even flipping you on your back to do the job properly only to have you kick it out his hands and find himself getting pulled back into bed by your side.
clean up tomorrow...
you murmur, snuggling up against him, yawning from exhaustion.
sweet baek cheon who concedes to your demands, his stiff body relaxing in defeat, knowing that he'd never win against you. throwing a spare blanket over your bodies, he pulls you closer, wrapping you up nice and warm. watching you fall asleep in his arms as he too feels his eyelids grow heavy.
he presses his lips on the crown of your head for a final kiss and finally lets his tired body rest for the night.
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chickensaladquinn · 5 months ago
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Power Play: A Jack Hughes Love Story
Chapter One: Puck Luck
The electric hum of the Enterprise Center still buzzed in Y/N’s veins as she stepped out into the brisk St. Louis night. The Blues had lost in overtime—heartbreaking, really—but at least the game had been thrilling. Her brother, James, walked beside her, a walking encyclopedia of stats and post-game analysis, already ranting about missed calls and defensive lapses.
“I’m telling you, if they don’t fix that power play, we’re screwed for the rest of the season,” he griped, zipping up his Stan Cavern hoodie.
Y/N smirked. “Maybe they should hire you as head coach.”
He scoffed. “At this point, I’d take the job for free.”
They weaved through the crowded sidewalks, dodging rowdy fans and street vendors selling everything from hot dogs to knockoff jerseys. The city was alive, pulsing with the energy of the game, but Y/N felt the familiar ache in her feet from standing too long in her heeled boots.
“I’m cutting through,” she said, motioning toward a narrow alley next to the arena.
James hesitated. “You sure? Just walk with me to the car.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s literally right there.” She pointed past the dimly lit passage.
“Alright, but text me when you’re in,” he said, already distracted by his phone.
Y/N rolled her eyes and slipped into the alley, the sounds of the crowd fading behind her. The air smelled like rain and asphalt, the streetlamp above flickering weakly. She picked up her pace. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea-
VROOOM.
Bright headlights flooded the alley, blinding her.
CRACK.
Pain shot through her body as something hard knocked her to the ground. She barely had time to register the impact before she was sprawled on the pavement, winded and disoriented. A car door slammed.
“Oh, shit, oh my god, are you okay?”
A voice, young, frantic, laced with unmistakable panic.
Y/N groaned, propping herself up on her elbows. A figure hovered over her, backlit by headlights, hands running through his messy brown hair. As her vision cleared, she blinked up at a face she had seen on TV more times than she could count.
Jack Hughes.
The Jack Hughes.
Star center of the New Jersey Devils.
And the guy who had just hit her with his car.
Jack crouched beside Y/N, his hands hovering awkwardly as if he wasn’t sure if he should help her up or call an ambulance. His wide, blue eyes were filled with panic, his face slightly flushed under the dim streetlight.
“Oh, shit—are you hurt?” His voice was rushed, filled with genuine concern. “I-I didn’t even see you. I swear I wasn’t speeding.”
Y/N sat there, her palms scraped from the pavement, her brain still trying to process the fact that Jack Hughes, the Jack Hughes, had just run her over. Well, okay, not run over exactly, but she definitely got knocked flat on her ass, and her knee was throbbing like hell.
This wasn’t happening. Nope. No way.
“I-I think I’m fine,” she muttered, trying to collect herself. She was not about to become some viral story on NHL Twitter. Devils star center commits vehicular manslaughter in St. Louis alley. Nope. Not her.
Jack exhaled, still looking at her like she might collapse at any moment. “Are you sure? Do you need, like, a hospital or something?”
The reality of the situation hit all at once - the game, the alley, the literal Jack Hughes standing over her - and suddenly, it was too much. Her heart pounded, her hands shook, and an overwhelming wave of get out of here now crashed over her.
“I...uh...I gotta go.”
“What?” Jack’s brows shot up.
She scrambled to her feet, wincing as pain flared up in her knee, but she didn’t stop. She dusted off her jeans in a daze, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah, I’m good. All good. No harm, no foul. You’re busy, I’m busy...uh...so, yeah, I should go.”
Jack blinked. “Wait, what? At least let me-”
But she was already backing away, her body moving before her brain could catch up. She turned on her heel and bolted out of the alley, limping slightly but pushing forward like her life depended on it.
Jack watched her go, completely bewildered. He ran a hand through his hair, still crouched where she had left him, a breathy laugh escaping his lips.
“What the hell just happened?” he muttered to himself, shaking his head.
Y/N didn’t stop running until she was halfway home, heart racing, mind spinning.
She had just been hit by Jack Hughes. And instead of milking the situation for all it was worth, she had run away.
What the hell was wrong with her?
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throwmebacktotheabyss · 3 months ago
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I just want to fucking die I hate being alive I hate being here every day is a new lost battle I ruined my life two years ago and there's no fixing it no matter what I just keep setting my life on fire over and over I'm in debt I'm in pain I want to kill myself I want to take a rope and go into the woods I want to smash open my dad's gun safe and just finish it already I can't do anything any time I get even a breath of motivation it all blows up in face how futile and useless everything is and the things that give me joy and motivation to live aren't motivating as much anymore and everyday I'm getting more and more okay with the idea of traumatizing whoever finds my corpse I just want it to be over I hurt so much all the time if Im not burning up in anger I'm freezing cold from anxiety and depression and not even laying in the sun or under ten blankets is enough to warm me and some new part of my body hurts everyday why am I always hurting why can't i feel joy why do I have to ban myself from doing things I love until I get a job I've already submitted like 60 applications and heard back from nary a one and all the stats say I need to do over 100-200+ apps to get a fucking job and I can barely manage 8 a week let alone the 25 that experts recommend I'm so useless and stupid and idiotic what part of me thought it was okay to drop out of law school you dumb fucking bitch you're such a fucking idiot now youre in so much debt, you're unemployed, you had to leave the city you've spent so much time in and loved to move back in with your parents and everyday all I feel is exhaustion and trepidation like the world's gonna somehow fall apart anymore than it already is and I'm trying so hard to lose weight in a healthy way and it's just not working like I need it to so I'm also a fat bitch who can't fit into her clothes anymore and at this point I just want to do cocaine until I'm at the weight I want I just want to die I just want to die I just want to die I have so many dreams but they're so fucking unattainable and it sucks bc they're not even crazy I just want my own house and a family and a garden and I want to fly airplanes for a living and like that's not even crazy yet why does it feel like I'm asking for the world what's the point of all this people keep saying like oh look at all these small beautiful things that make life worth it and they just don't for me everything is just annoying and burdensome and I just crave the silence and peace of death I just want to be gone I don't want to be here anymore with this faulty body and this world that hurts me and and a brain that wants to kill me and torments me everyday with nightmares and horrible intrusive thoughts and visions I just want it to be over I just want it over with why do I have to be here why did whatever greater being choose to live here and make me live and I can't even feel anything but guilty about it bc I have such a charmed life in comparison to everyone else and yet all I want to do is slam my head into the wall until i bleed and let a rope strangle the air from my body and just go to sleep and never wake up I just want to kill myself the knife doesn't work as good anymore I can never bleed enough I want to expose my muscle and scar myself why can't I have someone who will help carve into me I just want the pain to end I just want to die I just want to die I just want to die I just want to die
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