#but I guess it's also possible that she could just consider me someone she knows because I work here and she sees me

[isfjmel-phleg]

There's this lady who comes to the library on Tuesday nights sometimes, and she acts like she knows me, she called me "my friend" just now and we had a long conversation about my dress and used clothing, and I have no idea who she is. I mean, I know I've seen her before but I don't recall her name or officially meeting her, but I'm pretending that I have when I speak to her so she doesn't feel bad, and it's...amusingly awkward.

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)

Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)

Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.

"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"

"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."

"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"

"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."

"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."

"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."

"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."

"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."

"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."

"The author is a pompous windbag."

"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."

"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"

"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."

"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."

"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."

"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."

"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."

"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."

"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."

"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"

"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"

"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."

"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."

"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."

"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”

Part 2

Part 3

[mycroftrh]

People do always love to be like “oh Anakin was so stupid, keeping secrets for no reason, he should’ve just told the Jedi about Padme and everything would’ve been fine, doesn't he know Ki-Adi-Mundi was given an exception for survival of the species to have wives in Legends”

And when rewatching RotS I was forcibly reminded: he wanted to. He wasn’t actually the problem there. It was Padme.

Padme: Wait, not here. Anakin: Yes, here. I’m tired of all this deception. I don’t care if they know we’re married. Padme: Anakin, don’t say things like that.

A few scenes later, it’s Padme, again, not Anakin, who says:

Padme: If the Council discovers you’re the father, you’ll be expelled.

And Anakin who’s like “don’t freak out about that now, just enjoy that we’re about to have a baby”.

Back in Attack of the Clones, it was technically Anakin who offered the idea of a secret relationship first, but it was in response to Padme being insistent that he would be expelled from the Order:

Padme: You listen. We live in the real world. You come back to it. You’re a Jedi Knight…. Jedi aren’t allowed to marry. You swore an oath, remember? You’d be expelled from the Order. I will not let you give up your responsibilities, your future, for me. … Anakin: It wouldn’t have to be that way. We could keep it a secret. Padme: …Could you live like that? Anakin: No.

And then it was Padme who first introduced the idea of lying to Obi-Wan:

Padme: Ani, I told you I wouldn’t let you give up your future for me… Anakin: What about Master Obi-Wan? Padme: I guess we won’t tell him, will we?

And also Anakin, rather importantly, as you may have noted in the conversation a bit above, actually believed that a secret relationship was a bad idea in the first place, to the point that he stopped making advances on Padme because of it, until suddenly she started making advances on him:

Anakin: You love me?! I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie.

And the thing is. Like. Anakin’s number one source of stress in Revenge of the Sith is that he does not want to be keeping secrets, and everyone around him is trying to force him to. From Obi-Wan to Palpatine to Mace and Yoda to, yes, very much Padme, as we saw in the very first quote above.

The Jedi are trying to make him keep secrets from Palpatine, which he very openly hates; Palpatine’s trying to make him keep secrets from the Jedi, which he also expresses extensive upset about and eventually refuses to do any longer; Padme’s making him keep their relationship secret when he explicitly doesn’t want to.

And he actually takes every possible opportunity to tell someone the truth about something, for the first three quarters of the movie!

He’s considering keeping the dreams secret from Padme for about three seconds before she’s like “Be honest with me” and he immediately tells her, honestly, without minimization or deflection. And then the very next scene, probably less than five minutes of screentime after the vision itself, is him telling Yoda, in as much detail as Padme’s rules will let him.

He doesn’t tell Palpatine about the Jedi Council’s plans because he’s trying so hard to be good and obedient towards everyone at the same time, but he’s so visibly upset about it that Palpatine deduces. (I firmly believe Palpatine had him put on the Council specifically so they would tell him to spy on Palpatine and thus break his trust in them, but that’s a side point.) Anakin dutifully ferries all information he’s given back to the Jedi Council without, as far as I can see, filtering it at all.

And the big one, of course - he learns Palpatine’s the Sith and immediately runs to tell Mace Windu.

(And Mace proceeds to only half-believe him, which, frankly, doesn’t make sense? He says “If what you told me is true, you will have gained my trust” but like. Mace’s primary concern about Anakin’s loyalties seems to be that he thinks Anakin’s loyal to Palpatine over the Jedi, in which case… what kind of next-level Machiavellian reverse-psychology triple-agent plan did he think Anakin had, that involved lying to Mace about Palpatine being MORE of a threat than they had believed and suggesting Mace go arrest and/or execute him, advising maximum force? It turns out Anakin is, in some ways, playing into Palpatine’s plans by doing this, but like… that’s because Anakin is telling the truth, and the truth is the problem here, and if he had been lying, things would’ve been fine for the Jedi. But that’s somewhat beside the point.)

Like. It’s been established since Phantom Menace that Mace and Yoda both tend to not be… friendly, let alone understanding, towards Anakin, and that continues to be the case in Revenge of the Sith, and yet still his first response is to run to them with any big truth he has, because they’re the Proper Authorities, and he hates secrecy, and he’s reaching out for any life-raft he can find.

Anakin is, in the end, the one who killed the younglings, yeah. But the secrecy? That was never his problem.

In conclusion - behold, Anakin’s synthesis:

[blasphemousclaw]

WHO IS THIS SAULTRY LITTLE BINCH

ok this is my extremely unpolished breakdown of MESSMER THE IMPALER from the shadow of the erdtree trailer

The first thing that stands out about this dude is that he’s wearing EVERY possible symbol of treason against the Erdtree: SNAKES and FLAME

Messmer has snakes on his sigil, helm, and 2 snake friends who have dragon wings. Volcano Manor is known for its statues of winged serpents, but the wings are feathered, not dragonlike. these snakes are bright red-orange and are very unlike the Great Serpent we all know and love, who has a heavier build and is blue-grey in color. 

Regarding snakes as symbolism, the Duelist Helm description reads,

“Bronze helm decorated with innumerable snakes. Worn by gladiators who were driven from the colosseum. The wearer becomes a slightly easier target for foes. The snake is viewed as a traitor to the Erdtree, and the audience delighted in seeing these bronze effigies beaten and battered.”

We can bet that whoever is associating themselves with snakes is a confirmed Erdtree hater (Rykard, hello!!!) or perhaps, this dude could even be part of the reason why snakes are considered traitorous in the first place?

In addition to us seeing Messmer wield fire, this line from the trailer (which I think is spoken about Messmer but not by Messmer) implies that he’s known for his fire: “Those stripped of the Grace of Gold shall all meet death. In the embrace of Messmer’s flame.” 

It’s well known that flame is in many ways a taboo power; particularly the flame of the Fell God, which has the power to burn the Erdtree (the cardinal sin). Messmer’s fire is weird, in some ways it reminds me of the Rune of Death since it starts out black and turns red, but it’s also far too orange to simply be the Rune of Death’s power. 

There’s also this description of the DLC: “The Land of Shadow. A place obscured by the Erdtree. Where the goddess Marika first set foot. A land purged in an unsung battle. Set ablaze by Messmer’s flame.”

I’d guess that the Land of Shadow was the place of Marika’s first conquest, and perhaps Messmer either aided her in razing it or that’s just something he did later? 

so WHO is this dude????

for starters, his name is Messmer the Impaler — M like Marika! Melina, Malenia, Miquella, Mogh, and Morgott. seems to be a pattern...

He says in the trailer, “Mother, wouldst thou truly Lordship sanction, in one so bereft of light?” 

Whoever Messmer’s mother is, she is in a position to “sanction lordship” meaning to give official permission for a lordship to take place. that screams Marika — she is THE goddess, and is responsible for guiding Tarnished to becoming Elden Lord. I can’t think of anyone else who might be called Mother who is in such a position as to allow someone to ascend to the position of Lord. He's also sitting in the same type of throne that the demigods sat in that we see in Morgott's cutscene.

theres 2 ways to interpret this line: 

Messmer could referring to himself when he says this; as if he’s saying, would my mother truly allow me to become Lord even though I’m so dark and edgy?? in a kind of sarcastic way. the flames he produces start out black, and he’s covered himself symbols treasonous to the Erdtree. OR, he’s referring to us, the Tarnished, when he says this; as if he’s saying, would you really let a person with such little light inside them become lord, mother?? (rude!) I’d say we need more context to determine exactly what he means

ALSO, interestingly, his left eye is sealed shut… you know who else has their left eye sealed shut? THAT’S RIGHT… OUR FRIENDS MELINA AND RANNI

The scarseal and soreseal items of Marika and Radagon are also carved into eyeballs… could eye trauma be an empyrean trait?? could Messmer also be an empyrean, one who the current demigods didn’t know the existence of??? 

with all that being said, I really doubt that this guy is Rykard or Rykard’s child as I’ve seen some people speculate… these other clues in the trailer point towards him being another, separate demigod. so what do we make of all the similar imagery?? I think that Messmer might be working against the Erdtree toward his own ends, and he’s embracing similar powers that Rykard did when he turned traitor. 

who is he then? I think he’s a demigod child of Marika, and possibly of Radagon because of the hair (unless his hair color comes elsewhere? a curse?). I think he got banished to the shadow realm for treason reasons, given the heretical symbols. perhaps he was an empyrean with his own agenda who was disposed of by Marika, like the Gloam Eyed Queen? perhaps he has ambitions to return to the real world and become Lord, destroying the Tarnished who might take his throne?

I did this instead of sleeping I hope you’re all happy

[kxsagi]

hiii i love your work so muchh

mutual period comfort with femlock :) pls and ty

like you’re both on your periods and everything Sucksss but you have her and suddenly maybe it’s not so bad. almost like you’re sharing your cramps somehow

any character is fineee but pls add kunigami, ness, and lorenzo

take your time and remember to stay hydrated :)

“𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢”

a/n: TWO FEM LOCK REQUESTS IN A ROW LET’S GOOO

ft. kunigami rensuke, ness alexis, lorenzo don, isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, yukimiya kenyu, itoshi sae, itoshi rin

kunigami rensuke (butch, quiet type, wears hoodies that smell like vanilla and fabric softener)

you wake up in pain and reach over, only to find her already curled up with her arm over her stomach, eyes barely open. 

she groans, “same,” and you two just lie there for a minute, syncing in agony. 

but then she powers through. gets up, makes hot tea, microwaves heating pads, and grabs you both painkillers like she’s on a mission. 

“we’re surviving this together,” she says, kneeling next to the bed like a knight. 

you end up wrapped in her hoodie, snuggled under her arm while she lets you rest on her chest. she strokes your hair and mutters, “hurts less when i’m holding you. i don’t know why. maybe you're magic.” 

ness alexis (soft smile, sharp edge, loyal to the bone) 

when you both get your period, she’s the type to smile calmly even as she’s clearly in pain. you can tell only because she’s gripping her tea cup a little too tightly. 

she notices everything. how your breathing changes, how you shift uncomfortably, how your brows pinch, and she’s already moving before you even ask. 

lays a warm hand on your thigh and asks, “do you want me to help with your cramps or just stay with you?” voice smooth, polite, affectionate. 

even if she’s curled up too, she’ll push through her discomfort to take care of you. her loyalty runs deep – if you’re suffering, she’ll shoulder it with you. 

“you always take care of me. let me do the same. it’s not a chore. it’s… you.” 

later, when you're lying together, she traces soothing circles on your back, her cheek pressed against yours. 

“it hurts, yeah. but i’m glad i get to go through even this with you.” 

lorenzo don (glamorous, high-maintenance, utterly unbothered unless it costs money or power)

period? disgusting. but unavoidable. she handles it like a luxury inconvenience. 

she orders expensive comfort food delivery for the both of you, fluffs the pillows, lights a designer candle, and throws herself on the couch with a groan. 

if you’re also on your period, she pauses and glances over at you. 

“... you too? great. at least now i don’t have to pretend to care about someone who’s not bleeding.” 

she only acknowledges people she thinks are strong or valuable, and she considers you top-tier. so if you’re in pain, you matter. 

wraps an arm around you, tugs you into her side, and pulls a blanket over both of you like a queen gracing her favorite subject. 

“money can’t buy a new uterus. guess we’re in this together.” 

even in the worst of it, she tries to make you laugh, her tone dry and teasing. 

“if cramps could be killed, i’d put a bounty on them. anything for you, baby.” 

isagi yoichi (supportive golden retriever girlfriend who keeps advil in every bag)

immediately checks your symptoms against hers and goes, “okay, so you’ve got cramps, i’ve got the mood swings. let’s divide and conquer.” 

does everything possible to help: heating pad, favorite hoodie, water bottle refills. 

even rubs your lower back because “i read that helps. i saw it on reddit. hey, stop laughing!” 

if you get emotional, she pulls you into her lap and just lets you cry. 

“you don’t have to be okay. we’re allowed to just suck for a while.” 

it’s a whole pity party, but you’re the guests of honor and she makes it feel safe. 

bachira meguru (goblin girlfriend who tries to fight period pain with silliness)

she’s literally like “we should name our cramps. mine is called agony. how about yours?” 

the two of you are groaning in bed, watching comfort cartoons, half-laughing, half-crying. 

she starts rubbing your tummy with both hands like she’s casting a spell. 

“begone, foul beast. leave my girlfriend’s body alone, you crusty uterus monster.” 

makes you both microwavable rice socks and insists you wear matching pajamas. 

she tucks you in, kisses your forehead, and whispers, “we’re a team. period pain has nothing on us.” 

yukimiya kenyu (clean girl aesthetic but will cry if there are no pads left in the house)

immediately syncs with you. it's a little creepy. 

she lights a candle, dims the lights, brings you tea in a ceramic mug, and says, “we are bleeding. the world must pause.” 

runs a bath for you both and sits behind you, massaging your shoulders while you rest your head back on her. 

you complain about bloating and she grabs your face. 

“no. you are glowing. you are the moon incarnate. you are allowed to be soft.” 

she lets you fall asleep in her lap while she scrolls through cute outfit inspo to show you later. 

itoshi sae (emotionally constipated but strangely intuitive, always calm, surprisingly sweet when no one's looking)

she doesn’t say much when she realizes you're both on your period. just raises a brow, tosses you the heating pad, and plops down next to you like, “guess we’re syncing now. cute.” 

makes you ramen and acts like she’s doing it for herself, then places your bowl on a tray with your favorite snack and hands it to you without meeting your eyes. 

will not admit to being in pain, but you catch her subtly pressing a pillow to her stomach under her hoodie. 

if you’re cuddled up against her, she’ll quietly shift to let you lie more comfortably and thread her fingers through yours. 

“don’t whine. just rest. i’ve got you.” 

when you fall asleep from cramps, she adjusts your blanket and kisses your temple so gently it’s like she’s worried you’ll wake up and call her out for it. 

itoshi rin (grumpy, sensitive, doesn’t know what to do with feelings unless she’s holding them in a blanket)

absolutely looks offended when the cramps start. the uterus betrayal hits deep. 

when she finds out you’re also suffering, it unlocks her most aggressive protective mode. 

doesn't know how to comfort you, so she does everything all at once: hands you a hot water bottle, brings water, sits at the edge of the bed and grumbles, “you should’ve told me earlier. i could’ve helped.” 

despite being in pain herself, she’ll rub your stomach and act like it’s no big deal. 

when you cry from frustration or pain, she gets flustered but holds you so tightly, you can hear her heartbeat racing. 

“i hate this. i hate seeing you like this… but it’s better when you’re here. for me, too.” 

eventually lets you lie on her chest while she scrolls through your messages, texting back your friends so you don’t have to deal with anything. queen of quiet acts of service. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[celtrist]

This was a planned thing I had around the time I had this little rant (appreciate everyone who's bothered reading that thank you!)

Seeing as we have three canonically Asexual characters, I thought each of them having a different romantic orientation (and varying asexuality on the scale) would be fun and neat to show the variations to the orientations! But I was really stumped on Mammon since I was pretty set on Alastor and Octavia, but Mammon not being any form of aromantic didn't feel right, not terribly ooc, just definitely felt a bit more like "he's the leftovers" sort of thing when divvying up the romantic orientations. But lo and behold, the new episode of Helluva came out and helped solved that little quandrie. So here are my thoughts below on each!

Alastor (Loveless Aromantic) If you've seen my rant, you probably have a good idea why I labeled him as a "loveless aromantic" (meaning in this sense I'm talking about, he just wouldn't have any form of romantic affections or go into something like a QPR or the like). And I do genuinely think he would be! But I know there's A LOT of bias for Alastor NOT being aromantic (or at least open to some sort of relationship), and I will admit I might've been a bit biased here too! I've just seen a lot of love for only specific parts of the aro spectrum that "allows" Alastor to get with someone, and I wanted to give some love to the aro spectrum that gets little to no appreciation (plus I do just genuinely think he'd be this). If you don't agree, all is fair ദ്ദി（• ˕ •マ.ᐟ The point is, I realize I'm probably in the minority here. Plus, it's all a guessing game more or less until something is officially stated, which probably will never happen for any of these three.

Anyway, like I said, I just don't see Alastor really getting as close to anyone even as a QPR. At the VERY LEAST, not in a QPR that has a lot of romantic parts to it (kissing on the lips, cuddling, etc.). My man wouldn't have any interest in marriage or anything romantic, he's very happy on his own and probably gossips about OTHER people's love lives. Then again, he seemed pretty close to cracking when he heard Charlie ranting about her own love life... With that said, I do think he DOES like the company of others, he's VERY social after all. But actually, getting intimate with someone? Mmm, that doesn't feel right for him to me. A kiss on the cheek or PERHAPS a cuddle here and there at most, but nothing like bathing with someone or kissing with tongue. He's also a man of the roaring twenties, so you KNOW how he thinks about intimacies that might have no romantic/sexual connotations by themselves (like bathing with someone) are romantic on their own just because being that close to someone was seen that way in his time. Plus again, I just don't think he'd be interested in that stuff as is (potentially he could be both touch-starved and touch-aversed. And oh boy, wouldn't that be a conundrum!) On one hand, I like and can see Alastor being sex-repulsed, on the other I can also see him just feeling nothing towards it. Considering Angel's "advances" in both the first episode and the pilot, he does have a bit of a strong reaction towards sex, but nothing crazy either. I can see him being lukewarm to the subject (so he could read a book or read a script out loud with sex in it), but he could be repulsed when it actually INVOLVES HIM. I can definitely see him somewhat annoyed with the subject for how everywhere it is though.

Octavia (QPR Aromantic) It's a little hard to pinpoint, but I can personally see Octavia getting into a close QPR sooner than Alastor, but maaayybe only be a hair. Octavia could possibly get into a platonic relationship with someone that would have remnants of seeming romantic. I do think she's probably the most sex-repulsed of the three, if in part because of her father's inclinations that he doesn't seem to hide even when she's around. Honestly, I feel like we still haven't seen enough of her to get a good grasp on this aspect of her character in if she would be interested in getting as close as to a QPR with someone. But I'd certainly like to think so, because damn does our girl need it. Her falling into some sort of relationship would probably be hard seeing as how her parents' relationship was so awful. So she could be hesitant about doing something like that.

Mammon He was the big toughy! And while his advances on Leviathan might have been meant in a more platonic way or just for show to go against Ozzy's and Bee's romantic relations, I'm going with what's there! So Mammon seems like he could be straight or bi/pan. But I don't have a hard grasp on which so I'm tossing that in the air. I don't think he'd be sex-repulsed just because of how "sex makes money". Like, there's no question that sex appeal is a big part of business even if something isn't even that sexual. So while I think he's not largely interested in doing anything sexual, I can see him being okay or even lukewarm to the subject, maybe just not getting the appeal entirely. Maaaayybe he's sex-favorable? Of the three I would imagine he would be the most likely to be sex-favorable, but I dunno.

I like the idea of Octavia being the only one aware as to what her orientations are. Alastor is... well he's Alastor, and Mammon doesn't seem like he'd be too interested in the details of things. Just that "there's straight, gay, and the between area".

[abusedwh0re]

My theory on Nikitas death:

Russian Prisons are well-known for their violent ways of treating the prisoners. There a plenty of russian organizations that document about what is going on in those prisons and its beyond the extremes.

Inmates are routinely getting r*aped with different objects, beaten up to the point where their face is unrecognizable anymore, for not fulfilling their tasks correctly, getting their food and water takien away, etc. This topic is being talked about often in the media, but it is often being surpressed by the russian government. It would be worth a google search as there are plenty of articles about their prisons.

Multiple news reports say different things about his death. Some report that he slashed his wrists on the 30th of november and was found dead in the early morning of 1st December. Other sources report that he was found with slashed wrists on the 28th of November and brought to a hospital, but died on the 30th of November. That means they had 2 entire days to save him from bleeding out. This just doesnt sit right with me..

Nikitas former cellmates reported that he would go as far as attacking other inmates just to see artyom once again, and that his plan was to „intimidate“ the officers by staging a suicide attempt so he, once again, could see Artyom. Artyom also told his lawyer that Nikita would kill himself or die in some other way at that prison without him. At the time of his death, year 2021, he had already served 10 years of his sentence, so he was already halfway there to getting released. His mother once stated that she would be waiting for him so she could talk to Nikita and let him explain everything. It could be very well possible that he didnt mean to kill himself, and the guards who saw him just let him bleed out instead of getting help for him. Thats how russian prisons are…

An intentional suicide could have also been a reason he has died. I mean he had been diagnosed with an mental illness before he was imprisoned, and might have been suffering from schizophrenia or a schizotypical personality disorder, he was very depressed, was being bullied his entire life (even in prison), had a very low position in the prison hierarchy, never had a real friend (he considered artyom one), and that of course could have contributed to what he had done. Its hard to say whether his death was a intentional suicide, an accident, or if he died because of how he was treated there.

But i guess well never know the true answer.

R.I.P Nikita.🕊️

im sobbing just look at him :(

(If you or someone else that you know is a subject to bullying, help them, let someone know about that, or reach out someone you trust before its too late. Being bullied is something serious and you should never let anyone, including yourself, go through that. There are people who care for you •3•)

[dyns33]

Obvious

Most of the time I see him as the cool silly big bro, but I love Deadpool, so here's a long Deadpool x female reader.

Normally nothing destined Y/N to meet Wade Wilson.

A normal life, without enemies, without superpowers, without contracts on her head. She didn't fight, respected the law (at least for the most serious and important things) and she considered herself to be a good person.

The first time she had passed Saint Agnes Orphanage, she hadn't really paid it much attention. The second time, she found it a little strange that an orphanage was in this part of the city, which was not really made for children.

Then one evening, when she had had a bad day, she realized that it was a bar and she decided to go in for a drink.

Since she thought an orphanage was strange in that place, she might have thought it was odd for a bar to have such a name. She could also have been scared when she saw the other customers, who all turned towards her, indicating that she might not be welcome.

But Y/N was tired, and she just wanted a drink before going home, so she smiled politely as she sat down at the counter.

The waiter frowned, but he agreed to serve her with a shrug, muttering that as long as she was an adult, it wasn't his problem.

A tall, bald, tattooed guy then approached her, putting a hand on her arm without worrying about her private space, asking her if she wanted to follow him home.

"… No thanks."

“Come on, don’t be a slut.”

"Please."

“Come with me, you stupid bitch.”

"Now, that's really not very nice. The lady said no, a gentleman should know it's time to leave. But no Hector, not only are you insisting, but you're being rude."

"Fuck you, Wade, don't get involved in this !"

The waiter continued to mumble about cleaning, while this Wade guy smashed Hector's head against the counter. A tooth even flew close to Y/N’s face.

That might have been enough to scare her completely. In addition to the surge of violence that was happening right next to her, there was the red suit, the katanas and other guns, which could make you want to flee as quickly as possible.

But when he finished kicking Hector's ass, Wade turned to her, and despite the mask, it was obvious that he was smiling, extending a hand towards her.

"Miss, my apologies for that boor. He knows nothing of good manners."

"… Thank you."

"You're very welcome, lovely angel ! Wade Wilson, Deadpool, Merc with a mouth, at your service ! Oh, he spilled your drink… Bad Hector ! Or was it me ? Maybe it was me. Weasel, the same for the little lady, on my note !”

“You already owe me a fortune.”

“I will kill whoever you want for free !”

“I thought you didn’t kill anymore.”

"Ah yes… I'll suck you for free !"

“Here you go, two drinks, just shup up Wade.”

In the end, Wade was a bit special, but not evil. He stayed with her, partly because he loved having someone to talk to, but also to make sure no one else was going to bother her again.

And he talked a lot. Everything he said didn't always make sense, he even seemed to be talking to himself sometimes, but he was funny. It seemed to please him that Y/N laughed at his jokes. Behind the counter, Weasel was still muttering that she was doing something silly.

Among the long tirade he delivered that evening, she understood that Wade had not had an easy life. That he had done some things that could make him a criminal, but he had been trying to improve for some time.

"Colossus already wanted me to become an X-men but it wasn't for me. Wait, there are X-men in this universe ? I do not know anymore. Anyway, there's Spidey and Devy. No, he's right, this nickname isn't great, Devil. Like Daredevil. They want us to be Team Red, but only if I stop unliving people. It's not fair because they're friends with Frank, and Frank keeps unliving people, but he lost his wife and his kids, so I guess he has more sympathy points than me."

"I don't understand everything, but I guess Spidey is Spiderman ?"

"Yes ! He's super cool ! And his ass ! People confuse us sometimes, it annoys me, but it's a bit of a compliment. He's my role model."

Like a true superhero, Deadpool insisted on taking her home. He was terribly honest, saying that he could leave her a few blocks away, but that was useless, because as a former mercenary, he was very good at stalking people and he could find her address without difficulty, even if he only had her name.

"Which I wouldn't do ! Normally. I might want to see you again, and ask Weasel to find your number, but I know myself, I'll put it in my phone, and I'll hesitate for weeks, then I'll send a lousy message, you'll be scared, you'll block me, I'll be ashamed and I'll shoot myself in the head because I'm a moron."

“I can give you my number.”

"And I… Huh ? Huh ?! For real ?!" exclaimed Wade, jumping like a child on Christmas Day.

Wade called her right away, specifying that it was not to verify that she was giving him a false number but a little. Despite the mask, his face showed surprise when he saw that she hadn't lied.

"I should put a bullet in my head to make sure I'm not dreaming."

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

“Baby girl, we only just met, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

When Deadpool talked about shooting himself, he meant it literally. It often happened that he died, either because of an enemy, an accident, or by his own hand. But he always came back. A gift like a curse.

They became friends. It was obvious, and quite sad, that Wade didn't have many friends.

Most people around him couldn't stand him or were afraid of him. It was true that he could be quite unpredictable, especially when he got lost in his discussions with the boxes, or an imaginary audience. But he was never mean.

Weasel was more of a collaborator, Al was forced to accommodate him, and the other heroes, unable to get rid of him, tried to make him a nice guy.

And he was really nice. Crazy but adorable, funny and wanting to do well.

Very quickly, Y/N started to have a crush, and even more. Even after seeing him without a mask. He never took it off completely to eat, repeating that he didn't want her to lose her appetite or feel like throwing up.

But after landing in a trash can after a fight, and forgetting that he had invited her to watch Princess Bride, Y/N had seen him. Yes, his scars were a bit impressive, but they weren't that bad.

With an embarrassed smile, he waved his hand while remaining frozen near the entrance.

"… I can move if you want to run away. I won't follow you. I may look like Frankenstein's monster, but I only pursue young girls who ask me to. Or who deserve it. Because criminals have no gender, I don't discriminate."

“I brought popcorn.” was her only reaction.

"... Oh. Sweet ? Salty ? Caramel ? Al must have beer somewhere, hidden with the cocaine."

After that, he was a little less afraid to show his face, even though it was obvious he wasn't comfortable. It wasn't easy to reassure him, repeating that she didn't care about his appearance.

Y/N didn’t remember how they ended up having this conversation. The only thing she knew was that she was pressed against him, laughing, when she had innocently said it would be fun if they went out together.

This made Wade laugh, but a very serious laugh, leaving no chance and hitting where it hurt.

"You and me ? Ah ! No chance."

"Why ?"

"It's obvious."

A simple little sentence could sometimes do a lot of damage. Too busy making fun of the characters on the screen, Wade didn't see Y/N's look of sadness, just as he didn't feel her body stiffen.

Still, she should have expected this response. Of course it was obvious that they had nothing to do together. Deadpool was a super hero (in training), he was tall, muscular, funny, rich.

She had seen photos of his deceased ex, Vanessa. She had observed him flirting with beautiful women and men before. It was already fortunate that she was only friends with him.

So Y/N swallowed her pride, accepting the obvious, and not talking about the subject again.

But it was hard, because the more time passed, the stronger the feelings became.

It was even harder when Wade entered his depressive phases. He kept putting himself down, insulting himself and accepting insults from the boxes in his head. It took a lot of patience and perseverance to get him to put down his gun.

"Anyway, I'll come back later. Bad luck for the world. People would be happier if I wasn't here anymore. Maybe they'll miss me a little, for a few minutes."

“I would miss you, Wade.”

"Yeah… You say that because you're adorable, baby girl. But you'd be better off without me too. I'm a real drag."

“You saved me the first time we met.”

"And since then you think you owe me a debt. You know, every time we're in the street, the others look at me and they're afraid. If I wasn't there, you could be with them. You could have lots of friends.”

"I don't want lots of friends, Wade." Y/N sighed, taking him into her arms. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Oh, sweetie pie, me too !”

It was rarer for them to find themselves in the opposite situation. Not because Deadpool wasn't capable of empathy, but because she didn't like talking about her problems, preferring to keep everything to herself and cry out of sight.

Unfortunately, she had made the decision to become friends with a former mercenary who loved to jump from roof to roof, only to come visit without warning by tapping on the window.

Y/N had no time to hide her tears, holding back a sob as her eyes met those of Wade, who had stopped mid-movement, fist raised against his window.

He didn't hesitate before entering, terribly serious.

"Who ? Who did this ?"

“Wade…”

"Who made my baby girl cry ? I want a name. Spidey and Dev will understand. Yellow wants decapitation, White wants emasculation. Tell me who."

"It's really not necessary. It's not important."

“It’s important if you cry.” Deadpool growled as he looked around the apartment for clues.

Once he had an idea in his head, it was almost impossible to divert his attention. If it wasn't so important, it was possible with food or talking about Spiderman's butt. But this time he considered it very important.

Tired, Y/N thought that all she had to do was say that it was just a ridiculous heartbreak for him to calm down. He had no reason to kill someone just because they didn't love her back.

This actually seemed to calm him down a bit, as he patted his cheeks with his hands in a dramatic gesture.

"What ?! Someone doesn't love you ?! Someone doesn't like my sweet little angel ? Are they crazy or stupid. You deserve the best !"

"Actually… He's the one who's too good for me."

"Bullshit ! The important thing is love ! If a woman can marry a space duck, then everyone can be together, as long as it's legal and consensual !"

"… What ? No, wait, it doesn't matter. Wade, please forget it."

"A name. Let me prove to you that this fool doesn't deserve you, and not the other way around !"

"No."

"A name !"

"You ! It's you !"

For the first time since they met, Wade was silent for more than a minute, staring at her like he wasn't sure she was real. He often had hallucinations, so this happened to him.

Then he muttered incomprehensible things, probably speaking with his boxes to check that he had heard what she had just said.

"… Me ? As in, me ?"

“I know what you’re going to say.” Y/N sighed, wanting to disappear. "You've already said it, it's obvious that we're not meant to be together. You're charismatic, and strong, and funny, with powers. You save people, you have an extraordinary life, while I… I am me."

"… Baby girl. Do you have a fever ? Did you lose a bet ? Because… You saw me without a mask. You know I'm crazy and dangerous. There are several bounties on my head, I've unlived more people than the population of New York, and my favorite movie is Zoolander 2. When I said it was obvious… I meant that you were too good for me."

There had been a misunderstanding, each being convinced that the other could never want the other, because they were too different. But even though he was special, with skin problems and an inability to concentrate for more than ten minutes, Wade was much better than a space duck.

However, while she was sure of what she wanted, he hadn't clearly said what he expected next.

"I mean, if you just want to be friends, I'll understand."

"You can't tease me like that and then break my heart. Don't play with me, woman !"

“Wade…” Y/N sneered, as he gesticulated like a degenerate, declaiming his great love for her and her smile, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Taking advantage of his inattention, she approached him, until he froze when he felt her hands on his mask.

With a look, she asked him if she could take it off, and as he didn't move to stop her, she took it off first up to his nose, before hesitating.

Y/N didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she also didn’t want him to think that she didn’t want to see him if she didn’t go further. So she took out the whole mask, she observed Wade, smiling before kissing him.

"… Don't take what comes next as a bad thing." he whispered as their lips parted.

"What ?"

"I'm going to have a heart attack…"

As always, Y/N thought he was joking at first, until he collapsed in front of her, looking delighted even though his heart had stopped beating. Fortunately she was used to seeing him die, even if it was still a little traumatic.

It took almost an hour for him to wake up. Y/N had time to take a shower and make herself some tea, sitting on the couch to wait.

"Shit !" he shouted as he opened his eyes, looking around the apartment before looking at her. “Did we kiss ?”

“Yes and you died.”

"It's weird. Normally you go to heaven after you die, not before. But I probably don't have enough superhero points for heaven yet, so the other option is that I became totally crazy."

“Wade…”

"I know, White and Yellow would have told me. They're already saying that all the time, but they would have insisted, especially for me to escape from the asylum. It's no fun fighting with fake people and hippos. Was I dead long ?"

“No, a little over half an hour.”

"And you stayed with me, it's so cute. Nurse Y/N. No, Doctor Y/N, and I'll be Nurse Wilson. Oh, Doctor Y/N, I made a mistake in the dosage of a patient, I'm a bad nurse, punish me."

"… Let's see Nurse Wilson, we're in the middle of an intervention, calm down."

"Uh oh ! You're playing along !" Wade exclaimed, pouting from the ground. "I didn't expect that ! Wait, I need a blonde wig, and a white dress. You'll see, I look super sexy in a dress. Wait, we do this now or it's quick and we should have a date first ?'

“I wouldn’t say no to a date.”

"I see the genre, like in novellas. Doctor Y/N takes me to the restaurant to talk about my future promotion, but in fact, you are going to admit to me that I am pregnant with you, before I even enter your bed !"

“As long as you’re in my bed before the hundredth episode.”

“UH !”

The small, high-pitched cry of pleasure preceded a second cardiac arrest, Deadpool's mind imagining Y/N and him in a bed, with a stetoscope.

When she asked him if he was going to have a heart attack every time, he told her that he would probably die for good the day he saw her naked, or that they made love for the first time.

But Wade was a gentleman, he ate lots of vegetables, exercised, and begged Daredevil to teach him meditation techniques.

So he had the courtesy of having the next heart attack only after they were finished, and in the toilet. And every time after that they were together, Wade would go out of his way to just get a nosebleed.

Especially on Weasel's counter, telling him everything they had done or almost everything, which annoyed the poor waiter a lot, even if he knew that it would happened from the start, the moment he saw Deadpool with Y/N.

[frekyaka]

Another (old) oc

I forgot to post these a few days ago but I redrew my first eltingville oc I did like when I first got into the pilot for the first time? (Legit butterflies on billy ballsack..) she was supposedly scrapped because in my opinion I wasn't really feeling her and also because it's quite self indulging to the point I'm cringing on myself so I had to drop her ass, but I like how I did her hair so she's back in business BAAAABYYY

(also boken inglish forgib me 😢)

First design (I was making an introduction thing and gave up halfway)

Lazy redraww (I made her a bad bitch in the wte vers like damn..?? what even is my sexuality anymore 💀)

I guess background info? (I'll make one for Dane, yes I'm looking at you @/indohyusbarf 🫵😋)

warning: very lengthy.. ?? I'm just yapping at this point.. sorry bros.. got too into it.. 😭

Valentine 'Val' Cooper is one of the popular girls in eltingville high or whatever. She's related to Joe (crazy..), and works in Joe's comic book store as a punishment for her rich ahh parents because she was caught in a major scandal and to also learn how the real world operates, be in shes excellent for the job as she casually rips people off 5 times the price, she's a business woman, just like her parents, and uses it in her ability to get more money and shit, (casually steals money from the register). She's perfect for the job but she has a complete intolerance to geeks and nerds (she doesn't know the difference and would not care to even correct herself, as if on purpose), saying that they are the disease and should get rid off in this orb of a planet.

Reasons and her views on geeks or nerds in general??:

She places immense value on social status, popularity, and outward appearances, carrying a deep-seated belief that people should conform to mainstream ideals, often viewing those who stray from the norm (especially geeks and nerds) as socially inept or unworthy of respect, being a 'geek' signifies obsession with niche or unconventional interests that diverge from what they consider acceptable or admirable. Rather than deeply engaging with any subjects outside their comfort zone, she participates only in trends they deem acceptable (within popular culture), she's uncomfortable with the people who get so obsessed (in her opinion to a borderline extent), that this discomfort she feels manifests into having bitchy judgmental attitude toward those who become borderline obsessed with their hobbies, such as video games, comic book fandoms, or technology (typical geeky shittt, like damn girl you hate ppl having fun??)

Working in Joe's shop/having to interact with geeks/nerds:

When confronted with someone who has a deep fascination or obsession, Val's reaction will be overly critical or dismissive, rolling her eyes, interrupt, or change the subject abruptly (are you gonna pay or not? 🙄), believing that engaging in such conversations is a waste of time or even flat out embarrassing. She firmly believes that social interactions should adhere to certain unwritten rules, and those who openly geek out about their interests defy those norms. She finds it very difficult to tolerate long conversations about niche topics that they don't understand or enjoy, perceiving it as self-indulgent and inconsiderate to the person they're talking to. (Neurotypical mindset .. sighs)

Finally, her experience with the gang (the elting shits!!):

Bill - she hates geeks

Josh - she hates fat geeks

Jerry - she hates socially awkward geeks

Pete - she hates .. geeks

I'll make an in-depth of their relationships one day 💀

Dane (oc) - she hates gay people, geeky religious geeks

Her relationship with Dane: (a little snippet of Dane's personality)

They have a sort of rivalry, more on to Dane than Val (She could not care less!! 🤣🤣). Dane hates her guts so much (because in his opinion she's just like the serpent in Adam and Eve),which Val takes it in her advantage to humiliate him if possible.

Back then, Val tried to flirt with Dane when they first met, which Dane pulled the fucking bible and recited bit by bit from the passage

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8..

straight up yapping away, straight up yelling it mostly to himself and Val is just taking it in.. So then the next time they meet, Val is either notoriously bullying him or ignores him, which both infuriates Dane (boy make up your damn mind.)

HYPOCRITE PAST:

In her younger years, she proudly identified as an 'otaku,' immersing herself in the world of Japanese pop culture. She adored reading shoujo manga and watching romance shows. She dives her interest in crossdressing too, typically dressing up as beautiful anime men (ikemen). However, as she transitioned into high school and embraced a more popular persona, her relationship with these interests began to shift.

Her passionate love for anime, manga, and crossdressing that once brought her joy seems to clash with the image she has cultivated as the popular girl (due to her parents influence to her and the school). In her sudden lift in being part of her new social circle, she has distanced herself from anything related to geek culture, adopting a dismissive attitude toward those who continue to embrace it. What was once a source of pride has now transformed into a source of embarrassment, leading her to criticize and even resent those who identify as geeks, nerds, or otakus.

She immerses herself in being part of a clique, classic hookups and drama, she engages her watch of sitcoms,and other mainstream movies and shows within her new social context. Instead of engaging in crossdressing, she now focuses on wearing stylish and sexy bad bitch clothes in typical popular and societal fashion (you go girl YEAAAHHHHHH)

She often looks down on those who continue to immerse themselves in the culture she has left behind, failing to recognize the beauty of the very interests that once brought her happiness.

[cartoonguy08]

I recently was looking at the TF2 sketches by someone who officially worked on a comic, and remembered that Medic has a wife lol

I got some headcannons, if anybody wants to read em 👍

- I think I interpret Medic and Makani (his wife) as like almost an open relationship? I consider it that because of this:

And this:

And that:

Need I say more?

- I think they love each other. They obviously do, there’s multiple sketches of them just being together and also are quite happy around each other (one of them has Makani kissing Medic’s cheek). But it also makes me wonder if it’s just platonic? (Stick with me 🙌) They could be married but not really like each other romantically (you know how some people marry cuz they’re closeted? I don’t wanna go there but that could be a possibility). But for now I’m just gonna go with that they do love each other. Besides these are really sweet:

That was me just thinking tho, I don’t think I’m gonna believe they only love each other platonically but there is always the case. 🤷‍♂️

- Um, Medic may or may not be bisexual (he is)

And if I COULD FIND THAT ONE PHOTO OF HEAVY AND MEDIC IN THE SHOWER ROOM TOGETHER I WOULD BUT I CANT FIND IT FOR THE LIFE OF ME- I would put it in here to prove my point but my ass can’t find it. If someone knows the photo I’m talking about please send it to me 💀🙏

- Oh and Makani is a doctor too! Or nurse, which ever, but man this is cool

My guess is that she COULD have worked with Medic if she wanted to, but since Valve hasn’t really said much about her I guess not? Not too sure, but I think it’s cool to headcannon that she visits Medic’s work sometimes. Just to say hi maybe.

- They live together, but Medic’s probably at work all the time so she can’t really see him much (which is why she sometimes visits).

Okay, I think to tie this all up on gonna actually tell my ships cuz I have a few:

BLU Soldier X RED Demoman

Scout X Miss Pauling (drawing this lovely woman soon 😌)

RED Soldier X Zahnna

Spy x Scout’s mom (RIP Scout’s dignity 😔🙏)

Heavy X Medic

And because Medic has a wife, Medic X Makani. The way I’m going to interpret it though is Medic is married, but it’s an open relationship, and both agree on it. Does that make sense? Hope it does

This entire post was just me yapping about how Medic is married but is very open with the fact he’s gay for Heavy lol, sorry if people get mad about this. 🙏

[flaetsbnortoriginals]

WATCHING MITU'S ONLY SCENE TO FIGURE OUT HOW HER "GAME" WORKS

BECAUSE I NEED AN EXCUSE TO

So the stuff that's obvious is:

She always needs to guess a four-letter word.

Correct letters show up in green. (Someone in the game said the game she's playing is closer to Wordle than Hangmen.)

If she fails to guess the word correctly, she gets H-U-R-T.

OK, good. Let's look at more objective data:

She starts most, but not all guesses with two letters already revealed. BOSS, WISH, VIEW and BACK all have two letters revealed from the begnning, as do LUCK and MENU, that show up if you talk to her again. DUTY, ORAL and the unknown word that caused her to get H-U-R-T had no letters revealed.

Every four-letter word she says is entered as a guess, but WASTE has five letters and was also entered.

Now here's some stuff that isn't objective but I think can be inferred easily:

WISH was a lucky guess. That's why she sounded so happy after she said it; she didn't expect to win. Which, in turn, means that guessing right does give him something nice, even if it's just delaying her getting H-U-R-T.

Most people say that it takes her five tries for her to get H-U-R-T. But notice that she tries to stammer something after she misguesses WASTE. I think she has a grace period in which she can guess the right word and avoid getting H-U-R-T, but she couldn't (I mean, she only had one letter).

After she gets H-U-R-T, she pays much closer attention to her words. She even focuses to get BACK right, and blurts it out without using it in a sentence. After that she relaxes again - even though she's not being given hint letters any more.

So based on these facts, here's what I think I can gather:

Her game has difficulty levels. It starts more lenient, where each word starts out with more letters shown. She actively wants to progress. (Or maybe the only way not to progress is to get H-U-R-T), so she needs to.

She brazenly wasted guesses before the word she couldn't figure out, but then was much more conservative with the next words. The simplest explanation for that is that she was traumatized and didn't want to get H-U-R-T again. But another explanation is that guessing words correctly gives her more chances to make mistakes. For instance, she only could make five wrong guesses to start with because she had gotten BOSS and WISH right already; she might be H-U-R-T with even one simple wrong guess with VIEW and BACK.

She guesses ORAL without any right letters, and DUTY with a single letter she had gotten less than a second before. This tells me she has ways to figure out what a word is other than the letters. The way she talks suggests to me that she can kinda sense its placement in a sentence. So the word she couldn't guess would be something negative about Ena.

Does she actually need to use her words in a sentence? It might be that she only needs to play her game when she's talking to someone - that certainly has some possible readings behind it. It would also explain why her additional scenes have two letters already revealed, even though in her main scene she 'progresses to the hard level' where she has no letters revealed: she restarts from the first level every time she leaves a conversation. But I actually have a more interesting theory: she doesn't need to use the words in context, and she's doing it because she's gotten too good at the 'base game' and wants to challenge herself. You know how Hank Green plays Connections in a way that he considers a loss if his first guess is anything other than the purple group? She might be doing that! Specially considered that there was no indication she'd be punished for blurting out BACK; she used it in a sentence because she wanted to. Alternatively, since I theorized she can guess words based on how they'd be used, the game might actually be easier for her if she's using these words in an actual conversation.

That's what happens when you're obsessed with a blorbo and can't draw but can write an essay.

[varesai]

ESPRESSO - aventurine x reader

- "now he's thinkin' bout me, everynight, oh, is it that sweet? i guess so." or, how does aventurine do when he's in love?

- GUYS GUYS QUEEN SABRINA DROPPED A SINGLE i've been listening to this for days and i needed to write about it sooooooooooo yeah! anyways i'll get to writing probably a few requests tomorrow and wednesday (expect 4-5 posts between those days to make up for my absence) and yeahhhhhh enjoy!!

- aventurine might be a little ooc, mentions of his trauma (so penacony main quest spoilers), reader confesses at the end. wc 1067

Aventurine doesn’t know what to do when he first figures out that the feeling in his chest whenever he saw you was because he liked you. He probably tried to deny it, until Topaz caught him blushing like crazy after you walked away from the conversation you two had just finished. (Even then, she had to tell him, and then he spent a long time thinking that possibility through. She might have been right). 

You plague his visions. Why does he always want something to do with you? Why does he always want to be in your space, but also never wants to see you again? You’ve noticed his weird behavior, considering you were one of the first people he’s ever genuinely called a friend, but didn’t really think too far into it. 

Though, it didn’t stop you from paying more attention to it, that's for a fact. Sometimes you’d pay more attention to his body movements around you, the way he speaks, his etiquette, etc. You and Topaz communicate through it, and it’s a little bit different from his conversations with her. 

You know he can be cocky. Like, very cocky. You know he’s not too afraid to talk back, to challenge someone to a gamble (spoiler he wins), and to be reckless. Though, you also know about his backstory. So you can kind of understand where he’s coming from. 

He’s been pretty open with you about all of the things he’s endured. You know his real name, he’s described how his family has looked, and he’s described his years he endured slavery and what his home planet was like. You know about the Men in Black and the Katicans. And you know how traumatized he is.

Now, you’ve known him for a long, long time before this. You welcomed him into the IPC when Jade first announced his arrival, and you kind of showed him the ropes. He thought you seemed kind, so he stayed in contact with you.

You’ve watched him change, all of his progress through life, the hard times and the good times, and so much more. And that's what gets him the most, he thinks. 

He never realized how much he trusted you until he realized he liked you. You know every single thing about this man, which was the reason why he was rather… nervous when he’d have to communicate with you face to face. He did a good job at keeping up his front he uses to talk to people, but you sensed a slight form of stress underneath all the layers he put up to look tough. 

He lays awake, thinking about you. You’ve made part of his mind your home, and it’s the part he comes back to over and over again. You replay in his mind like a good song that he can’t get enough of- on, and on, and on, and on. 

He does like to bring you little trinkets he finds pretty when he goes out in public to do some shopping. Considering how wealthy he is, he could probably afford to buy out the whole store, so if you even mention something you like to him, he’s on his way to find it for you. He likes to think of it as he’s buying your kindness, but you think something completely different. You enjoy his sudden gift giving, not just because of your gain, but because he thought about you enough to do such a thing. It always makes you slightly blush before laughing while opening the box presented in front of you. He thinks that's the most precious part about your time spent together; all of the opportunities he gets to listen to your gorgeous laughter and see your flawless smile. Topaz, pinch the man, he’s in his own personal dreampool.

Oh, how bad he wants to confess to you, but he’s really afraid of rejection. He fears losing you entirely, fears that you won’t look at him like you always do if he asked if you two could be a thing. He fears you’d think he was odd for wanting you to himself, and that you’d slowly back away until you refuse to even look at his broken, battered form any longer. The thought makes a shiver crawl up his back. He can’t lose you too. 

All this man asks is to find a way to remove you from his head. You’re absolutely tormenting him! Notice how he’s been lacking on his work lately, always caught in a daze when he’s sitting down at his desk? That’s you he’s daydreaming about. He’s no good with his emotions. He knows how to hide sadness, fear, and anger, but he’s never been in this boat before. Love is a whole new concept to him. 

“Aventurine, you’ve been out of it lately. Tell me, is something the matter?” You barge through the blonde's office, not even bothering to knock. You know you don’t have to, he’s never doing anything so significant in that tiny space that it needs to be kept private.

“What are you saying? Nothings up with me,” he drops his pen in the small plaster pen cup you bought for him. “Work has been tiring lately. Nothing to stress over.” 

You plop into the chair in front of his desk, resting your arms on the top and putting your head in between your palms.

“I can tell when you lie. Tell the truth.”

He looks away. What was he supposed to say? That he couldn’t get you out of his brain, and that you’re the only thing he can focus on? That’ll scare you off for sure!

“Aventurine?? You there?” you wave a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his daze once more. “You know, you don’t have to lie. I already know what you’re thinking.”

His eyes slightly widen, just enough for you to notice. You giggle very lightly before continuing on with your sentence. “You have a little crush, don’t you? Don’t worry, I like you back. Seriously, I do.”

He doesn’t know how to reply to that. He doesn’t know if he wants to faint or make out with you right now. “So that makes us…?”

“I don’t know. We could remain friends, we could be boyfriend girlfriend, whatever you want. I don’t care.”

Well, he believes he already knows the answer he’s choosing.

[txttletale]

roadhogsbigbelly is doubling down. genuinely incredible (yes i am aware how deeply funny it is to start a serious post with that sentence. it is my one allotment of levity)

oh okay you just assumed that "loliporn" was involved and something that i deserved to be associated with defending and accused of making "integral to the queer identity" because of stuff that the OP (who i cannot stress enough i never followed or talked to or knew in any fucking way!) did that got called out months after i made my addition?

the rest of his post is just a very lengthy way of saying "umm if you didn't want to be called a pedophile because you were mean about stardew valley maybe you should be more careful about how you reblog from". yeah buddy im sure you apply that standard to yourself too huh. im sure you pull out your Bad Person detector every time you reblog a fucking post and beam OP with it. you literally screenshot my post about how as a trans women i get this standard uniquely applied to me and went "um its a good standard though. answer for the actions of every fucking person youve ever reblogged a post by".

and all this whole fucking schtick where he's like "ummmm im not calling you a pedophile :) i just assumed you thought 'loliporn was integral to the queer identity' based on source: i made it up and am going out of my way to repeatedly say you're agreeing with pedophiles and not being wary enough about pedophiles and that 99% of people who make the type of post im accusing you of making are pedophiles" is so fucking pathetic and if you fall for it you are a blatant transmisogynist like come the fuck on man.

i am no longer having a nice time on the computer, i am pretty fucking angry. and all this because he "doesnt have much skin in the game" but he doesn't like my stardew valley takes! yeah man real proportionate response.

not to mention the aside he makes to say 'wah wah someone told me to kill myself' amiguito do you have any fucking idea what my inbox has looked like since this entire transmisogynistic harassment campaign began a week ago? i delete those asks because i'm not into flaunting every piece of online abuse i get to make myself look like the victim in computer arguments but it has been constant and graphic! breaking news, women are people too, some of the most cutting-edge research suggests they might even have feelings!

"oh i censored her identity i dont know how she even found it" oh okay so you were anonymously pedojacketing me to your thousands of followers while vaguing about a post i made that had thousands of notes and using the same screenshot that an uncensored version of was passed around with thousands of notes as part of a transmisogynistic harassment campaign last fucking week?

how could anyone possibly have guessed it was me! it's a real mystery man it was basically witness protection. "oh but i didn't know, i didn't know she was trans", maybe he'll also say he didn't know about the harassment campaign, hey fucker, maybe apply some of the constant scrutiny you're reserving for women who are mean about farming game and apply it to yourself and consider looking into these things before baselessly making pedo accusations against someone!

this transmisogynistic crybully shit is absolutely fucking insufferable and i am absolutely sick of it and anyone who buys into it. i'm done assuming good faith or ignorance. i am not going to be a good placid little bullying target and acquiesce to this vile shit. it's truly fucking incredible that a tme guy can be found out as an actual pedophile and guys like mr. belly can immediately jump into action to use this as an opportunity to denounce a trans woman who had one interaction with him ever that consisted of five minutes spent typing an addition to a post and hitting ''reblog''. & if you don't find that sickening then straight up you are not safe for trans women to be around.

[boxeom]

Insane Character Analysis/Rant About Caleb/Mahiru/Xia Yizhou

Okay so MAJOR SPOILERS for Caleb's storyline/Myth/Cards, cw. incest/pseudocest, cw. religious themes.

As much as I love Caleb's eng va, I do have to say that the moments where he's being y'know- insane- don't hit as well as they do in the JP/CN versions. Since the english localization is bending over backwards to remove the pseudocest that is straight up a key part to mc/Caleb's entire relationship, there are a lot of moments that don't really make much sense in terms of tension when you go with the whole "childhood friend" context. I've listened to both the JP and ENG versions of cards I've found the most significant for mc and Caleb and the differences are insane to say the least.

The amount of times "nii-chan/san/gege/big brother" is removed from the english captions is honestly hilarious to me. As long as you don't understand some basic Japanese or Chinese, it might go right over your head. But even as someone who isn't fluent in Japanese, I have a good enough grasp on the language to know that there is a VERY different story being told- so much so that it's gotten to a point where I consider Caleb, Xia Yizhou, and Mahiru three entirely different characters from each other because of how vastly different their writing is by each localization.

Caleb and mc's obvious symbolism is the biblical story of Adam and Eve and the Forbidden Fruit- a story of man's first sin being temptation and receiving enlightenment at the cost of falling from God's Grace. The apple is well known in literature to represent the Forbidden Fruit. It's a theme that commonly alludes to sexual liberation, forbidden knowledge, lustful temptation (not just in a sexual sense), and a physical representation of sin. I have some thoughts that the chip also plays a part in being a more literal version of the Forbidden Fruit, since it lowers previous hesitations and exacerbates more obsessive, possessive, and impulsive qualities of mc AND Caleb as well as their sexual wants for each other.

Now, to me, having the imagery of the Forbidden Fruit in the trope of childhood friends makes little to no sense. There is no taboo to shy away from, no reason for mc and Caleb to feel as clearly conflicted as they do when they start toeing at certain lines- if anything, I feel as though it would be something to be encouraged. But when you take the time to look at and listen to the JP/CN versions, well...it becomes MUCH more obvious why the apple is there in the first place.

Acknowledging the fact that mc and Caleb do and have always seen one another as siblings and developed a codependent bond founded in trauma ties every missing thing that the english localization just can't piece back together while trying to do a "boy next door" theme for Caleb (I mean they literally grew up in the same house, had bedrooms across the hall from each other, saw the other grow up in the closest way anyone possibly could- there's nothing "boy next door" about that).

Below are just a few examples that I've collected that I think both show how the childhood friend angle just doesn't work with Caleb and how much his and mc's relationship is reliant on something forbidden, something that they both know is wrong between them but keep managing to indulge in no matter how hard they try not to;

Now there are DOZENS of more moments like this littered throughout Caleb's entire story and what we have between him and MC so far. And in particular the second row does NOT have mc say "childhood friend" in the JP version (can you guess what she refers to him as instead?). These "dangerous thoughts", the "cushion that stays between", the fear of rejection that Caleb possesses is so much more than just something between two people who grew up together in the context of childhood friends.

The first and last screenshots in particular are some of my favorites (taken from Intertwined Gold and Exclusive Aftertaste). For Exclusive Aftertaste, it's not only a cute moment of mc silently confirming Caleb's suspicions that she was waiting for him but, on a deeper level, acknowledging that she will always love him no matter what happens between them. And at an even DEEPER level, it's mc knowingly partaking in Caleb's favorite forbidden fruit- his favorite sin. They BOTH took a bite from it. And though we never get to SEE what happens, we HEAR the bite they take in unison. It's safe to assume what happens. There's a damn reason the card is called "Exclusive Aftertaste". And then they proceed to never talk about it again.

Meanwhile, in Intertwined Gold, mc is literally expressing that she wishes they'd met differently so that they could be together without having to lie to themselves about what's happening. Like COME ONNNN. Why would a childhood friend EVER need to say this?

In my opinion, getting rid of this intended layer of Caleb and mc's relationship doesn't do his character justice at all. Caleb/Mahiru/Xia Yizhou is an incredibly well written and complex character- he's deeply flawed, traumatized, and in desperate need of connection in any form he can get from the one person in the world he's ever loved with all his soul. It mellows out the moments of desperation, manipulation, and intensity he has during his darker moments that just don't convey the tragedy and bittersweetness of mc/Caleb.

There are a billion more things to say here but it is seven in the morning rn and I've been up writing this in one sitting since six. I will definitely add more when I'm not running on fumes and the crack that is Caleb's character. 🙏🏽

[tryandbehappy]

What I realized after June and Nick’s scenes:

First of all I’m so relieved they didn’t turn Nick into a villain. Not even in June’s eyes.

Yes, she was shocked. Yes, she walked away. But he had a chance to speak, and he used it.

He told her:

— he didn’t know that Wharton would kill the handmaids,

— he saved Janine or at least he knew she was important to June and promised to find out where she is

— and he tried to do the best he could in an impossible situation

She knew it wasn’t for Gilead and his loyalty to it 🙏 like everyone around her thinks btw. She knew he did it to survive.

That doesn’t make him innocent but it does make him human.

And still the man who’s always been on her side.

Then came the hardest part:

He told her the truth. Because for too long, she saw him through rose-colored glasses.

She didn’t really want to think about what he had to do to save her.

Like when he led the raid on the farm. He couldn’t cancel the mission but he took control of it

so he could spare her, protect her as much as possible. (Because any other commander would get her killed, he had to control it)

And yes, people died there and he was in charge. Or he had to kill 2 guardians (one of them is 19! Nick is so deeply broken he did this). He did it to protect her and her husband even.

She also didn’t really consider what kind of situations she was putting him in (especially lately)

From the safety of Canada, it was easy to think of Nick as this strong, stoic soldier who would always figure it out, the one who’d just handle it.

But she forgot what Gilead really is.

She forgot what it’s like to live under constant danger, where every decision could get you killed.

She forgot how impossible the choices are, how no one gets to be clean.

That’s what he throws in her face now.

“But you love me. So what does that make you?”

And that hits her hard. she forgot what Gilead taught her:

There are no perfect heroes! Everyone breaks.Everyone does things they hate.

She knew this.

She’d already been through this transformation.

But now, in Canada surrounded by activists, by ideals, by pressure she started seeing the world in black and white again. And Nick just shattered that illusion.

And the most important thing?

She doesn’t hate him. She hates that she still loves him. It’s just so wrong for her (it’s like classic endgame btw 😂)

And that means:

This is not the end for them.

Because this isn’t new information. She always knew who he was. She just buried it deep.

And now she remembers.

My guess?

Something will happen: a betrayal, a moral dilemma, a war decision and June will be forced to make the same impossible choice Nick did (or someone around her)

And then she’ll understand him fully.

Because her story isn’t any cleaner than his. And war is not about being black and white. And she knows that. She just forgot.

And now she has to reclaim that truth and decide:

Can I love someone fully not in spite of the darkness,

but with it?

[twistmusings]

Eternity Float Event

CW: Spoilers below the cut but I thought I'd share some of my favorite details about the Eternity Float Event and mini character analysis because it's exceedingly cute? 😭

First, it's so sweet to me that the first person Jade picks to come with him is Azul? Azul refuses because if he does go Mrs. Leech will spoil him with food so he refuses (my boy still definitely struggles with food policing himself) but that's actually very sweet. Georgina herself is, notably sad about Azul not being there (even more so than being sad that Floyd didn't show up? Which is hilarious because it means she probably expected Floyd might lose interest but she's actually sad Azul didn't come to see her. She definitely adores Azul and sees him as part of her family too.) Plus Azul being flustered that Mrs.Leech gets along so well with his mom and grandmother is very funny.

Jade guilt trips no less than five people into going with him by manipulating the hell out of them. It's extremely funny because being in the Fandom when it was first released in the U.S., most people at the time assumed the most dangerous twin was Floyd because of his mood-swings. Your honor, I would like to petition the court to consider that Floyd is, in fact, just a morally grey little guy. Or like, very big guy, but you get the point. He seems to be the least likely of the three to actively do something sadistic or swindle you.

Azul pawning Jade off onto Yuu and being relieved that he successfully distracted Jade from harassing him into going. As it turns out, even he sometimes needs someone to come collect that freak of a man.

Jade has dreamed of being in a wedding, not as the groom but as a part of a tradition to try and tip over the newly weds gondola and admits he's been dreaming about it since he was young. The way he phrases the statement tells us a lot about Jade's motivation for wanting to do this because he notes something to the effect of "people cheer loudly when the Moray manages to tip the boat over fully". Jade is, once again, being kind of a brat and despite his claims that he doesn't like to be the center of attention, he really wants to be the center of attention actually.

Less about Jade specifically, but it is worth noting that this ceremony is specifically for when a human marries a merfolk and the couple remains on land (if I am translating correctly), meaning that it seems to indicate that there really aren't weddings in this form in the Coral Sea.

Of course, we get to see Jade's mother, Georgina, and the first impression of everyone in the group is how tall she is. She is noted to be a) taller than Jade, b) twice as tall as Riddle, and c) her sprite is taller than Malleus with his horns. I don't personally take the comment about being twice as tall as Riddle as 100% fact, but that would mean she could be as tall as 320 cm (around 10 feet). If I go based on sprite measurements, however, I would guess she's a few inches taller than the highest measurement of Malleus' horns. Considering Malleus with his horns clocks in at around 202 cm or 6'6", and measuring their sprite heights, I would guess she's close to 213 cm or 7' tall.

Just want to add, while that might mean Jade and Floyd are still likely to get taller, it could also mean that her husband is simply *much shorter* than her and the twins take after his height. Either of these are possible, considering we don't know exactly how Merfolk biology compares to human biology and how far into life they keep growing.

Speaking of fish and growing, one set of lines that stood out to me is when Jade mentions that he gave his mother Floyd's nicknames for inspiration for their outfits. Riddle is visibly a bit upset by this, and admits he doesn't like the comparison to goldfish because they are "small and red". Georgina apologizes for Floyd being rude (though she laughs as well) and tells Riddle "when released from captivity, goldfish can grow very large". Riddle seems to be excited by this, however Jade laughs. I believe Jade assumes Riddle is excited by the prospect of getting taller. Given Riddle's backstory however... and this is complete conjecture, it seems like Riddle may be correlating it to being under his mother's control and is excited that he may "grow" when he's free.