#but I got real invested in this show cause THE TROPES

[lucystark12]

how will, mike, and vecna's arcs chase eachother around the show

to begin

byler: the early ages (predating the show and season 1)

our very first real interaction between mike and will speaks directly to my theory of the genius of the friends to lovers trope. the very first time we see them talk it's will confessing something to mike that neither of their other two friends wanted to. it's different. there is immediately something different about will's relationship with mike compared to the other kids. call this will's honesty, but the one thing us bylers have going for us is that will is very much canonically in love with mike. this is them showing us clearly that SOMETHING. IS. DIFFERENT. i would not go so far as to say that will is in love with mike or vice versa this far back because they're literally twelve, however, that 'something different' that's seemingly been there for a very long time is important and needs to be noted. we don't know what's different, they don't know what's different, but they don't feel the same way towards each other as they do towards their other friends. this much is obvious

(flickergate mentioned!! 🔥🗣🗣🔥🔥)

now we've got our search for will. mike is totally champoining it. of course dustin and lucas are incredibly invested, but mike is our leader here. once again, this could just speak to his personality, but i think not! mike's level of investment in finding will safely causes him to act against the caring and nurturing nature of his personality which we see in the way he lashes out at el when the body is found.

to be totally real with you, i don't remember nearly as much about the first season as i do the other three and also believe that since will is missing for most of it there isn't quite as much to go off of. so now i'm going to move on to season two.

byler: season 2

once again in season two we see mike being the one who's most protective and most conscious of will and his wellbeing. i will reiterate- for both of them at this point i think this still feels like they are just two people with a deep connection. as they are literally thirteen, i don't think either of them understand the depths of what love really means.

but uh oh... here comes the paradigm shift for will...

we ALL know what i'm talking about here.

in this scene, mike is able to break will out of the weird trance thing with his monolouge, which for anybody who has forgotten, reads as such:

"Do you remember the first day that we met? It was…It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends and… I just felt so alone and so scared, but… I saw you on the swings and you were alone, too. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you and… I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done."

initially, i thought this monologue was just super sweet, but the implications actually run a lot deeper than this scene just being some kind of masked love confession. what are those implications?

vecna has will in a trance during this scene. vecna is the same monster who you only have a chance of surviving if something is tying you to the real world.

we see this with max and music, with el and the mike monologue.

the difference is, neither of those work because neither thing is strong enough.

what is strong enough to break will out of a vecna trance though is mike's honest, hearfelt words.

vecna is a monster who feeds on people who fundamentally don't have enough love in their life. this is why he chooses will in the first place. henry creel was a deeply troubled child who didn't have any kind of love in his life, leaving him susceptible to become vecna when taken to the upside down. will on the other hand comes from an abusive home and is bullied in school. this seems like the perfect target for somebody feeding off people lacking that kind of support in their lives. only vecna gets it wrong, because will does have that unwavering, devoted, love in his life. that is mike.

mike who refuses to give up on him even after his body is found. mike who waits with him in the hospital for days. mike who was always the first to make sure he's okay.

the hospital scene opens will's eyes to this, which is why i'm calling this the unitalized "oh" in your "oh... oh" moment. this is will realizing there's something deeper. this is his first inclination.

byler: season 3

throughout the course of early season 3 or during the gap between seasons is when i like to believe will was starting to realize what that "something deeper" for mike was. although i think objectively season four is the most important byler season to date, i think season three is when it really solidifies itself into the brains of our characters that they are in fact in love with each other.

the first scene i want to focus on when discussing season three is the infamous rain fight, in which i believe will has already realized his feelings for mike.

in my eyes, mike wasn't actively trying to be like "it's not my fault that you're gay"- i do think that he meant to say "it's not my fault you don't like girls yet" but that with the erasure of that word, the initial meaning and what mike meant to say left with it. they both know how his words sound and the implication of what they must mean.

i mean, look at will's face. this isn't even the best screenshot of it, and you can still tell how the words struck a deeper meaning in him.

his initial reaction after the fight to go and tear down castle byers also helps us a lot with the narrative and even relates back to vecna.

jonothan and will build castle byers as a save haven to escape from lonnie and his abuse. lonnie's abuse is what directly relates will to henry and his cause. by tearing down castle byers, will is actively destroying his safe haven as a way to cope with the person who showed him the vecna-defeating love not loving him the same way anymore. even though mike apologizes, they don't have a real concrete conclusion that solidifies for will that mike cares about him in the same way that he once did. they do have something though-

the moving scene. mike's paradigm shift.

when mike and el talk in this scene their conversation begins with el confronting mike with the thing that scares him- the falsehood of his love for her. mike spends the beginning of this scene playing coy, trying his hardest not to play into what she's saying until she has to be upfront about it. when they kiss, mike thinks- something is off. i can't reciprocate her feelings.

you can see it when his eyes are open, you can hear it when he pretends not to know what shes talking about. mike is uncomfortable with the notion of being in a relationship with el because he knows it's not something he will ever realistically be able to have. not really.

then in his conversation with will, we get more resolution to their fight from earlier, a real and honest conversation. i can't remember which happens first, but both make sense.

if the el conversation happens first:

mike talking to will shows his comfort level with will over el and how inevitably he will always be able to be himself with him.

if the conversation with el happens first, this goofy little face is his "oh...oh" moment in a "this feels different in a good way sense.

if the will conversation with el happens first:

mike's hostility towards el shows how negatively he sees her after being with somebody that he truly does love

if the conversation with will happens first, this is the "oh... oh" moment.

either way, this is when mike realizes that he has feelings for will that are entirely different than the platonic ones he feels for el. this is him realizing that there's a difference between strong platonic adoration and real romantic love.

to further back myself up on this being the moment™️ for him, this is him immediately after.

this is the face of a boy who has just had his entire world rattled, the face of somebody who has just realized that he is in fact gay and in love with his best friend, and that he will never feel the same way for el (or any other girl) that he does for will.

boom, mike drop (haha)

byler: between season 3 and 4

since vecna is watching at all times, he's starting to pick up on this and realize that the all encompassing love that will needs to break free from vecna's grasps is becoming more imminent by the second. so naturally he starts to fuck with things.

first and foremost, mike not being able to call, therefore severing ties between him and will, was orchestrated by vecna. vecna can manipulate time, making it entirely feasible that will never got mike's calls to begin with.

now i bring u... lettergate!!

even though churchgate is my favorite gate, i fully believe that lettergate is real. it is absolutely canon to me. it makes perfect sense. the only other way for the two of them to communicate is via letters, and since will has been waiting for mike to reach out to him, the power is in mike's hands. however, like the writer he is, mike is really shitty at writing letters, so one never gets sent, leading to further miscommunication and cause for vecna to make will believe that he isn't loved.

byler: season 4

the first byler scene we talk about from season four is almost an extension of the in between season stuff. this scene is the airport scene, where mike's fully fledged feelings for will prevent him from hugging him back out of fear of it making things awkward, leading will to believe, once again, that mike doesn't care about him.

similarly to how mike and will make up and then get interfered with by vecna at the end of season four and the gap before season four, the two fight and then make up the next morning, making for relatively smooth sailing between the two for the rest of the roadtrip. until mike decides to confide in will, that is.

mike's intention in that scene was to get out that he thinks his charade is failing without actually outright stating that he thinks his beard isn't convincing enough. he remarks about how he doesn't think el will need him anymore just like how he needs el to cover up who he truly is.

so then will shows him the painting. confesses his love for him behind a mask, leading mike to believe that there is still a way his relationship with el could work out. he doesn't want it to, he needs it to. we know this already.

but here vecna comes, this time inadvertently. in order to thwart vecna's plans, mike is forced to give this false love confession to el (which, by the way, doesn't work). making vecna at fault for will's newfound feelings of less love from mike. will is convinced that mike is far gone, which is why vecna is able to slip into will's head once again.

vecna is back and is ready to use will for his grander purpose of making him into a mini vecna after orchestrating the greatest use of the miscommunication trope of all time. he has successfully convinced will that mike doesn't love him, which will make him an easy pawn.

so where does this leave us?

with the end all be all answer to what will happen come season five. will will need to be broken out of vecna's possession to save the world from power too strong for el to dream of taking on- double vecnas. we've seen it with will before, and we will see it again, mike's love for him will be the only thing capable of breaking him free from vecna. mike's character arc of self loathing and insecurity will culminate with him realizing how he feels about will, will's character arc of exploited insecurity will end with him getting the one thing he wants, and vecna, in his last moments, will be made to believe in the central theme of the show, that love triumphs hate.

[bluetomorrows]

Clone High: It's About the Contrast

Something I've seen a lot of is Clone High S2 redesigns. People taking the new characters of S2 of Clone High and changing the designs, usually cause they don't like what we did get. Some of these are neat. I saw one that tries to combine their new designs with their S1 designs from when these characters were incidentals. A lot of them seem to take the personality out of the design. Most of them look hard to animate, but that isn't the point I'm trying to make.

People seem to really dislike these new designs. There are valid design reasons (some are a bit overdesigned, and they definitely clash with the S1 designs) but it just seems people are mad at them in concept. Especially Harriet Tubman. How could they turn Harriet Tubman into... this?

It's outrageous! And yeah, it is. It's supposed to be. That's the joke. In the 20 years since Season 1, the Clone High Fandom has grown and shipped and gossiped and a lot of people have forgotten that the incongruity of the characters is part of the joke. Joan of Arc was not in fact a goth girl who constantly thirsts over tall men. The same goes for several other characters.

Harriet Tubman isn't Harriet Tubman. She shares her DNA but she is decidedly a different person. That's the point of Clone High, the show is less about historical figures interacting in a high school setting and more about how these people might be if they were raised under different circumstances. Ideologically, Clone High is an argument against great man theory.

Gandhi changed the world. But when he isn't born and raised in British controlled India under very specific circumstances, he's just some guy. The same goes for Cleopatra, JFK, Joan of Arc,, Jesus Christ, and yes, even Confucius, Frida Kahlo, and Harriet Tubman. It's circumstances that create people, not people making the circumstances.

Imagine if you had the chance to have a conversation with the real Harriet Tubman. What do you think she would say? How would she act? I'm sure she'd probably be an interesting and nice person, but she wouldn't be a character fit for a wacky animated sitcom. You don't really expect former slaves to be bubbly like that.

It both literally and metaphorically takes the basic DNA of these figures and subverts and modifies their existence through modern society, or rather the tropes of teen dramas. Not just asking what would happen if these people were in high school but if they were ordinary people. Instead of being a hero whose life is in danger, Harriet Tubman is a girl who gossips and whose biggest worry is becoming a basic bitch.

Look at the S2 finale. The board of shadowy figures have assembled their great men and put them in competition. They'll weed out the best of the best to become the great men of the future. And out of about 100 clones, only one actually makes it to the end. Everyone else fails. The one clone who does make it, Joan, is born again into extreme circumstances. Being left for dead by her friends and suffering a psychic break. There is no such thing as great men, just extraordinary situations.

I think this theme of subverting these legendary figures is something that should be kept in mind when talking about the show. It isn't really a show about historical figures, just historically-themed characters. And that's okay. It's very funny when done well! It's a cartoon and it really acts like it. It was never asking to be taken as a serious drama and definitely wasn't asking to be a commentary on historical figures. It simply parodied its contemporary teen dramas a little too well and we got invested in joke characters and everything changed. The S2 writers were in a very unenviable place, and I applaud them for taking things in bold new directions. If you haven't watched S2 or even just watched a few episodes, I'd recommend giving it another chance. It's not perfect but it gets better as it continues. It has its own distinct feel and style while still understanding what "the point" of the original was.

Also Kahlopatra for life ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

[cosmic60s]

I’ve been thinking so much about this specific scene from The Caddy (1953).

I couldn’t find an isolated clip, but the timestamp here is roughly 41:17 - 44:15. It’s the scene where Harvey (Jerry) sets up a little celebration for Joe (Dean) after he wins a golf tournament.

First, we see the sign on the door reading “Welcome Home Champ,” which Harvey has clearly handmade himself, giving the first hint of what he feels toward Joe. Joe questions, “I wonder who that’s for,” which could be interpreted a few different ways. Maybe nobody in his life has shown him this level of care and effort before, to the point that he is genuinely taken aback when he gets to the door. Maybe he doesn’t realize how important he is in Harvey’s life and doesn’t think what he’s doing is worthy of any recognition.

Next, he enters the room and we see Harvey. Again, in this scene Jerry is in the familiar trope of playing the “woman” in the relationship. Throughout their filmography and television appearances, Jerry’s characters often serve to reinforce Dean’s masculinity as he plays roles that can very easily be read as feminine and/or queer. In this instance, I am referring to queer as not only relating to gender and sexuality, but ways of existence which fall outside of conformity. The nature of their partnership, both in their act and in real life, is rather unconventional when we consider other male comedy duos of their era. The love and admiration they shared for one another (particularly Jerry to Dean) couldn’t be contained. We can think of other teams such as Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, and Hope & Crosby. In many cases, these men either couldn’t stand each other in real life or were strictly business partners. We can begin to understand how much of an anomaly the Martin & Lewis relationship was. Particularly in the case of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, their films have many scenes with queer implications and ambiguous subtext. However, it is always played more for a laugh and the sheer “shock value” at the very suggestion of homosexuality. I never find this to be the case with Dean and Jerry, as scenes of the same nature often feel more innocent or less derogatory.

Back to the film! When Joe enters the room he shares with Harvey, we see the depiction of a very domestic scene. Harvey is acting as the devoted housewife, dutifully preparing dinner for the two of them with a recipe he learned from Joe’s mother. A little while later, he also remarks “I got the wide noodles you like so well!” This suggests he has gotten to know Joe well enough and has paid enough attention to his preferences that he can invest time and effort into making this a special celebration for Joe. Furthermore, he is even wearing an apron, which can be read as another attribute of a housewife (think of the scene in Rebel Without a Cause when Jim Stark catches his father wearing an apron and performing domestic duties for his mother). Again, this reads as a scene between a husband and wife, and almost could have been plucked out of any 1950s sitcom.

Harvey also has a few gifts for Joe. The first one is a hat which belonged to Harvey’s father, who was a very important figure in his life. We can begin to think about the significance of Harvey gifting Joe such an intimate and personal gift. In the film, it is well established how Harvey reveres his father, and now he is sharing his memory with Joe. In this sequence, Harvey can hardly contain his excitement as Joe opens it and his anticipation is very clear. When Joe tries the hat on and realizes it is too big, Harvey is initially bashful and embarrassed, almost as if he is expecting to be ridiculed. However, Joe seemingly understands the emotional weight of a gift like this along with the significance it carries for Harvey (although he doesn’t let his emotions show, much like Dean himself). In that moment, it is not about gifting Joe a brand new hat that was tailored perfectly for him. If Harvey wanted to do that, he would have. Rather, gifting Joe his dad’s hat was about Harvey giving Joe a piece of himself. Similarly, the next gift Harvey has ready for Joe is a trophy that his father won at an important golf tournament, reflecting the same sentimentality of the hat.

Seemingly, Harvey has set up a party just for the two of them which is an intimate gesture (literally a candlelit dinner, lol). He remarks, “A man that’s under pressure should have things he likes!” This tells us that Harvey wants Joe to succeed and is carefully considering his health and well-being. Then, while discussing the end of the evening he has planned and the ice cream they will have for dessert, Harvey says “…and we’ll hit the sack.” Interestingly enough, there is only one bed visible in the room they share.

Once Harvey learns that Joe will be going out to a party with a woman rather than staying for the dinner he planned, he expresses hurt and concern. He pleads with Joe to stay before finally acquiescing and agreeing upon a curfew of 11 PM. While Harvey tries to mask his emotions in this situation, it is still very clear to the audience. As he straightens Joe’s tie, he attempts to downplay the effort he clearly put in to set up the dinner. At last, as Joe leaves, Harvey takes the sign off the door and blows out the candle on the table, seemingly losing all interest in what he had prepared for the evening once Joe was no longer there to share it with him. I think this scene also speaks to Jerry’s incredible talent for more serious, emotional scenes.

Well, this turned out a lot longer than I expected. As I said, I have not been able to stop thinking about this scene for a few days and keep rewatching it. Maybe I read way too much into this scene that’s barely three minutes long, maybe it’s not that serious at all, but I had a lot of fun analyzing it and putting some of my thoughts into words. While I’m an undergraduate student, I certainly don’t consider myself a writer so I apologize if this is a bit jumbled. Thank you for reading :)

[the-gateway-to-madness]

the writing of Jack Frost

(And why it works so well)

Jack Frost is one of the most notoriously well-known animated protagonists out there. I'm on Tumblr, so I don't even have to defend that stance, you all know it already.

Why is that?

The story he's placed in is entirely simple. It's a light vs. darkness conflict. There are all of seven characters who get real screentime. The main character has amnesia. This movie is almost Shadow of the Colossus in its simplicity.

It's the details and the context and the design of the world that make that simplicity work here. Each character is visually based on a color and a shape, but then details got worked in that made them intriguing to look at, and that "design with a center in mind, then make it feel complete" ideology succeeds in making each character feel grounded and rounded out personality-wise, too.

Jack is the main character, so we're privy to extra complexities with him- let's look at those.

That amnesia. This trope has been done to death; why does it work well here? Because his character has developed for so long in-universe without him even knowing he had amnesia. Sure, he doesn't know why he's here, but he's also not aware of what he is missing, so he's gone ahead and lived for 300 years as best he could.

He's confident in his powers; he's confident in his own body; he's confident in his control. The conflicts that are most common in both coming-of-age plotlines and amnesia plotlines are not there. Jack's natural upbeat attitude and the immaturity he chooses to nurture in himself make him seem like he's a teenager in his head, too, but he is not. He knows all his own patterns, he knows how the world around him works, and the audience is incapable of understanding how exactly he must think because of just how old he actually is, and how much he's done and seen.

Jack gets reduced for simplicity in a lot of fanworks, and I think that's because trying to put oneself in his head and trying to then see his world through the mindset of anything but a child or teen is like trying to comprehend something eldritch. He's not still human and relatable because of his innate humanity leftover from his mortal life, he's still human because he has chosen to be human. Heck, Jack doesn't remember his past life, his only reason to believe he's even a little human is his appearance.

And that idea that he chose humanity, that he chooses goodness, is compelling, because it means his human self and his incomprehensible circumstances have meshed into something cohesive.

Then the amnesia shows up! If you're watching this movie for the first time, you guessed he has amnesia because duh, but you're just as in the dark as he is as to what he's missing. You only know as much as Jack does on that first watch- you're as curious and even desperate as he is to know, if you're invested. Because what could create this man? What could cause such a strong connection to humanity in him despite 300 years trying to whittle it away?

Even after seeing his memories, it's! Still! Jack's! Choices!!! This movie sets him up to be a tragic character, but it's not a tragedy because he chooses to be happy and help other people and refuses to back down and stop trying to fix things, even when only one child believes. They take a tragic character premise and turn him into a walking feeling of triumph because the good, kind, happy person who fell in that pond survived- and he did it because he chose to.

And- people want to hate Manny for never talking to Jack except to drop in and tell him what to do, but that's not what he did! Jack asked him to tell him why he was put in the world, and he was put in the world to be a Guardian. After he had already spent both of his lives choosing to be one without the Moon's direction, all Manny did was formalize it. He let Jack make his own choices, already knowing from his sacrifice what he would choose to be. From that freedom, from never being told who to be and what to do by the Moon, Jack learned how to choose to be human, to be good, to be a Guardian- under any circumstances -because he wanted to, and not because Manny told him to.

Manny did Jack more good by letting him learn how to be himself than he ever could have done by explaining to him who he was and what he was meant to do.

Anyway, I'm realizing most of this as I'm writing it, back on topic now.

Most amnesia plots cannot make the concept of "the person you were pre-amnesia shines through after amnesia strikes" work like Rise of the Guardians does, and I believe that it's because of that 300 year gap. That's the key. Jack has been the pre-amnesia person for 300 years without knowing where that person came from. He's refined being that person without ever realizing that's what he was doing; he's given that person confidence in his powers and skills. He's been that same person the entire movie already. Jack wasn't chosen because he was a Guardian in his past life; he was chosen because he was and still is a Guardian.

... anyway I'm out of thoughts

[magnoliabutters]

• THE SPIDER QUEEN •

pairing: kas!vamp eddie munson x (she/her) reader

summary: munson and henderson have a good o’talk...

warning: 18+ content, mdni, adult language; enemies to lovers trope, canon divergence, fluffy-wuff, season 4 spoliers, switching povs, moody boy kas, grief, y/n count: 1, moody boy dusty buns, violence, death/killing, character death, etc.

word count: 11.6k

reblogs & thoughtsy-watsies are appreciated!

• stories of eddie munson • season two • previous part •

note: potential need for tissues, not to toot my own horn or anything hehe, also highly highly encourage noting the dates & time to stay on track (i be bouncing)

grazi grazi grazi to my sweet ladies, ziggy (@trashmouth-richie, one of my fav authors) & miss nack (@nackrosor, loml) for spending the time to beta read & share your incredible thoughts and wisdom! also, doubly credit to nacky-nack because some of these words came straight from her extravagant brain & i love her so much.

i have never been so proud of the stories i’ve been creating and that’s cause of these two extraordinary writers. thank you, thank you for helping me grow! now, on to my longest post yet…

April 7th, 1986. 10:46pm.

Kas never thought he would respect a man in an open white blazer with a bright blue undershirt and yet, here he is - ready to follow him into battle if necessary. He is invested in this “Miami Vice” show. God, even the name sounds stupid, but he finds himself thankful that you had found a channel dedicated to it. A blissful escape from this shitty old thing called life. 

There he sits with feet kicked up on the coffee table. A fresh stove-top cooked popcorn on his lap. The beautiful girl he loves sleeping soundly against his shoulder. He could die right here and be absolutely fulfilled. A twisted little smile sprawls on his lips as you curl your arm across his waist. The way your soft hair rests upon his shoulder and down to his bicep makes his heart explode and rebuild in a million puzzle-like pieces. 

Who needs a working heart anyway? 

Kas’ eyes are glued to the TV screen, desperately trying to erase the presence of the curly haired betrayal of a boy in his peripherals. He may have had trouble accepting the idea of Dustin at first, but now he’s just a nuisance at the bottom right of his eyeline. He will happily admit that he likes it better when the boy’s unconscious. 

Although, he refuses to share how the curls of Dustin’s hair bring him back to each and every time Eddie ruffled them up with the palm of his hand. He is reminded of the happiness he felt in seeing the boy every day in school. The nostalgia floods his brain anytime Dustin’s yawning catches his attention. 

Relief, another feeling that explodes within his chest. Relief in knowing that Hellfire would have yet another fearless leader once Eddie finally graduated - class of ‘86. 

The excitement, unbridled and innocent excitement that followed their party’s adventures flying off the table and becoming a tangible reality. Right before everything got way too real... 

The cracks of Crockett’s pistol blasts through the air. A shoot out. Miami’s finest detectives dive behind a brick wall as the fugitive sprays ricocheting bullets. 

Kas jumps, startled by the noise, before rushing to find the remote. In his attempts, everything goes beautifully wrong. “Fuck, shit!” The popcorn flies and spills all over your beautiful sleeping body. An accidental kick of his feet and the unfinished beer bottles fall, spilling all over the table and onto the orange tinged carpet below. 

In reaching for the remote, he about falls onto his stomach, spread across the floor, before finally hitting mute. With a deep exhale pumped full of exhaustion, he turns over onto his back, spreading his arms out across the carpet. He reluctantly raises his eyes to yours, only to catch you baring holes into his face. A tight lipped smile curls upon his lips as he mouths, “sorry” with nervous bouncing brows. 

Another thing he didn’t expect was that the loud noise blaring from the TV would cause Dustin to begin rolling around with fluttering eyelids. The boy mumbles behind him, causing Kas’ eyes to open to extreme widths. He straightens his spine and turns before crawling his way back towards you. His torso flush against the hardened bottom frame of the couch. He bumps your right leg with his elbow, desperate to get your attention. 

Thoughts begin to spiral in his mind, his lip quivers - terrified of what may happen once Dustin utters a word. Mortified by the thought of what he will say. It intensifies the frequency of his bumps on your leg. 

Kas may not remember the whole story, but he can physically feel how his heart reaches for the boy. He recognizes that Dustin is the closest Eddie ever got to being a big brother. He feels the remnants of pride that regularly overcame him whenever he looked down on the boy. The thought of what he had and who he could become.

Eddie only knew him for less than the school year, but Dustin was so much more than some random freshie who barely learned the true art of Dungeons and Dragons. No, this boy was a pro - just like he was at that age. The only difference being that Dustin had friends, a party to play with before high school. 

Henderson was his heir, the fucking prodigy. And fuck, does it hurt when the prodigy betrays the teacher! 

Kas watches as your body perks up once realizing Dustin was slowly returning to the land of the living. You quickly stand and crash land upon your knees beside him. He really wished you hadn’t. He selfishly wanted you by his side, to help him not lose his marbles and destroy everything in his sight. 

His teeth begin to grind as he watches you care for the boy. Your hands are delicate and soft as you try to help him wake. You care for him despite knowing that he left Eddie behind, the one person you claim to love the most in this world. Some loyalty. 

He struggles to pull his eyes away, to keep himself from turning into a red hot ball of rage. Deep breaths have helped keep his mind at a leveled state, but hearing your comforting words crushes him to his core.   

Kas returns his gaze upon you two when hearing your voice. “Dustin,” you say as you lightly push a curl behind his ear. He rolls his eyes with a scoff and comically stuffs another fistful of popcorn in his mouth from the thin layer that still rests inside the container. Apparently, you do that move with everyone - brushing hair behind one’s ear. The loving action he cherished so dearly. It feels wrong, undeniably wrong, to see you do that with someone else - let alone with him.

Dustin mumbles something, something that leads you to ask, “what?” so softly. Kas hums a growl at the thought of having to even process the words from his mouth, but he swore to you that he would try. Little did he know it would be this fucking hard. 

The fire in his belly is difficult to describe and truly painful. He wishes he could be supportive, to be fully invested in the responsibility you have decided for yourself - to care for this boy. He just doesn't know how to look at you and your serene actions without feeling a sliver of treachery. 

This boy is the reason Eddie died and turned into the monster that Kas is: a heinous demon that destroys everything in his wake while wearing the face of an angel.

Why couldn't he just have a few more minutes of paradise with you? To hold you in his arms, to feel you sink deeper into his chest. The sleep he craved beside your supple body was divine. All he wanted to do was grab your hand and rush you back up to that bed. To jump onto it and float the waves with you by his side. To forget there ever was an Eddie, a y/n, a Kas, a darlin’. To forget it all and start again. A new life filled with your sweet smile and endless laughter. 

Alas, no. You were reminded of who Kas truly is before any extraordinary, amnesic life could begin. All because of him. Dustin Henderson did this, and he needs to pay.

Abruptly, Dustin staggers with fearful eyes as he pulls from you. Kas could tell that you were startled by the way your chin went several inches back into your throat. He knows that expression of yours very well. He revisits the sight on the backs of his eyelids any time he tries to fall asleep. How much horror he must have caused you while he was figuring it all out. The very same horror he forces you to relive each day. He will regret it all his life. 

As an instinctual response to your worry, Kas stands with tightening fists, ready to pummel anything and anyone who troubles you. Your eyes fall upon him in such a way that he immediately disarms. Your gentle hand reaches towards him with a slightly cocked head. “It’s okay, Kas,” you say in a whisper. He sucks his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he shifts his eyes between you and the boy. He lets out a sharp breath from his nostrils before crashing back onto the couch carelessly. 

Dustin looks his way with that same annoying terror on his face. It screams, “I’m about to pee my pants.” He had no reason to worry, as long as he listened to you. However, the terror persisting any time they make eye contact is becoming more and more difficult for Kas to bear. He’s positive Dustin never looked at Eddie this way. He’d be lying if he didn’t acknowledge the sadness that envelopes his chest at the thought.  

"W-What is this?" Dustin asks while turning back to face you. His movements are hesitant and slow. Kas scoffs, kicking his feet back onto the table as he lazily reaches for a fallen kernel resting on a nearby cushion. He is almost offended that the boy couldn’t sustain the gaze in spite of his tangible fear. 

"You're safe," you comfort, placing a hand on his shoulder but he pulls away harshly, making Kas sit straight up once again. It’s never too late to learn manners. 

"No," he states. "What the hell happened?" You turn back to look at Kas, almost for support, but he gives you nothing. Why would he? You messed the bed, make it yourself. 

"Maybe I should introduce you two?" you suggest, nodding back to Kas. Dustin's lip pulls up in a mixture of confusion and disgust. It’s clear he isn’t very fond of you. Kas loves the idea of being an outcast alongside you. 

Dustin peers back at him with caution, yet eager and watering eyes before clearing his throat and returning to you. That look - jesus fuck, Kas hated that look. An inspirited gaze with raising brows before crashing down into a furrow and welling eyes. It has been some time since you have looked at him with such hope. The ogling stare that searches for something, or more accurately someone behind his muddy eyes. It is usually followed by a depressing combination of shock and hurt once the individual realizes what they were searching for no longer exists. 

Dustin searches for Eddie, just like you used to. Apologies to the traitor. Eddie no longer exists. 

"This is Kas," you introduce with softness to your voice. Your intonation comes off as though you were entertaining the name. Kas tries his best to remind himself that you had understood. You know that Eddie was gone, but the undeniable anger filling him is indisputable. It leads to the clenching of his teeth, the straightening of his back, and the flaring of his nostrils. 

Dustin attempts to say the name, stuttering and stumbling like a child at the unfamiliar word. He continues, desperately trying to understand. “Kas, like - like Kas, the Bloody Handed? Kas, the Destroyer? Kas, Vecna’s most trusted lieutenant?” 

Kas could see you wince at the words. You are desperate to keep the conversation calm and avoid all his triggers. But the boy clearly has his own annoying way of processing the information, blurting the sound of his immediate enemy as a result.

He growls as his jaw slightly shakes with how hard his teeth grind against each other. “How about Kas, the man whose aboutta break your nose if you keep yapping?” he spits out. Dustin quickly turns his way at the sound. He shudders in his seat, preparing for another altercation. 

In an attempt to deescalate the situation, you slowly answer Dustin’s inquiries. “I’m not sure about all that,” you start, speaking directly to the boy. “But Kas, he’s - he’s different.” He looks at you with one raising brow and forward leaning chin, egging you on to continue.

“He may look like Eddie, talk like him, walk like him, even hug like him - if you’re lucky,” you quickly correct. “But he’s not Eddie.” You pause, dropping your eyes to the hands intertwined upon your lap. “I really need you to understand this, Dustin. Kas is not Eddie. They are two different people.”

As you spoke, Kas slowly moved his attention onto your chapped, pouty lips. Your inflection changed as your words continued. His ears are perked as he struggles to understand how you were feeling. How to help. Your solemn expression sets off a multitude of alarm systems in his mind.

His first thought is to scoop you off your feet, carefully supporting your neck and the back of your knees with his arms. He wishes to take you away from this place, to any reminder of the past and what you have lost.

His second thought, however, fuels the anger and resentment within him. The thought that your sadness, that your pain, is caused by Dustin and his aggravating need to know the truth. Finally, you take a breath as those tears you’ve been holding finally dive off your lashes. 

“Eddie is dead…” 

“… So please. If we can move on from this - if you can accept that Eddie is g-gone,” your voice hitches, leading you to take a slow breath before continuing. “Then we won’t have to worry about what happened earlier.”

Kas’ head tilts curiously as he observes your behavior. The words are falling easier and easier for your pretty lips, but the heartbreak resonating throughout your body is crystal clear and constant.

He wishes he could revel in the excitement, to celebrate the happiness that followed your understanding that Eddie is gone. The acceptance that has allowed Kas to live without being under his shadow. But how could he ever be happy when you were so sad? 

Upon hearing your words, he is reminded of the detrimental actions that ripped the perfect morning with you from his hands. The precious morning and slumber that you both deserved. He wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through your freshly washed hair and watch as you fell asleep in his arms.

Kas fiercely avoids acknowledging the thought that he, too, is responsible for taking that away from you. That maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t all Dustin’s fault.

April 7th, 1986. 8:12am.

Kas had an uneasy feeling as he took slow and hesitant steps down the stairs. Who could possibly be here? The knock seemed hurried, yet forceful. His first guess would be the cops, that maybe Rick got out of jail again and they’ve come to bring him back. Or what if it was a neighbor? One that saw some movement in the desolate house and called 9-1-1? Either way, a conversation between the police and Kas, Hawkin’s latest serial killer, is not going to end well. 

He considers calling you down. A fresh, pretty face that can woo the police away. One that can lie and pretend that she has every right to be in Reefer Rick’s abandoned lake house.

No, he could never do that to you. He wouldn’t dare ruin the incredible image in his head of you resting, naked beneath the warm sheets waiting for his return. He couldn’t wait to drop these sweatpants and curl up next to you. 

Nah, man. There’s no way he’s dragging you out of that bed. Plus, he knew, without a doubt, that you would be too busy dry heaving at the thought of lying to the cops to even try. A smile rips across his face. Shit, how he loves you with every fiber of his being. 

As he finally hits that last step, Kas dramatically slumps his entire body upon realizing Reefer Dicky Dick Rick doesn’t have a god damned peephole. He’s convinced that peering through the windows like an idiot would be way worse than just opening the door.

With a sharp inhale and roll of his eyes, Kas flings the door open. The wind wafts in, flying his curls back with the intensity of his speed. All to begrudgingly land his eyes on …

“Eddie?”

Kas’ entire body runs cold as his breath is stalled in his chest. The eyes, the hazel innocent eyes before him. Irises bight and clear as day when flush against the pink of his tearing eye. A reddish plump to his nose and cheeks. The trembling lip that slowly whispers a second “Eddie” that Kas is too astonished to notice. 

Dustin Henderson. The two comrades, friends of war, partners, brothers were left stunned at the sight of each other. 

Several minutes pass and the boy is the first to break the silence. “Ed-,” he starts, but Kas is quick to stop him in his tracks.

“Don’t call me that,” Kas spits out with a deadpan expression. He could feel his entire body shutting down, one muscle at a time. His breath is completely ripped from his lungs as he desperately seeks dissociation, any method of escape from who he must face. 

Pain strikes Dustin’s whole, causing the slightest twinge of his brow. He takes a step back with fluttering eyelids as he struggles to comprehend the situation.

Kas, however, is too busy wishing he could disappear to notice. Wishing that he could turn back time, tell you to hide so that you both could giggle under the fresh sheets until the knocking dissipated. 

Lost in his thoughts, Kas didn’t see the boy’s extending hand before it was gently placed against his forearm. “Don’t!” he yells, raising his tainted arm as he stumbles back into the living room.

Dustin follows him inside with worried floating hands, prepared to catch if needed. He kicks the door closed with helpful intentions. But the slamming door causes Kas to stop dead in his tracks, which in turn causes Dustin to crash against his torso. 

Without a second passing, Kas slams his hands against the mop head’s shoulders. He digs the weak boy into the wall beside the door. Dustin yelps in pain as his hips thrash forcefully back onto a side table. A sharp sound snaps through the air as a glass bowl shatters and keys scatter across the carpet.

“Don’t touch me,” Kas demands sternly. “And don’t call me that,” he adds with a heavy exhale, as though the words have become routine. “I - I won’t,” Dustin blurts out with a fast sucking breath. 

Kas slowly nods with fluttering lashes as he stumbles back. Tears well in his eyes as he struggles to discern reality and memory. Dustin Henderson, Dustin. Dustin. The name floods his body with a volatile mixture of Eddie's and his own emotions.

Is he ecstatic? Is he worried for his friend? Why was he crying? Why did he push him against the wall? That must have really been scary. Maybe he should apologize? Apologize?! For what? Dustin left him to die, rotting away in front of his family’s trailer. 

“They wished you death …. They watched as you were torn apart.”

Vecna’s chilling voice plays on repeat in his head. It’s all - It’s too much. His head spins despite the debilitating feeling of his skull being crushed. Tears roll down his cheeks like cinder blocks. He cannot control them, cannot stop them even if he tried.

He has never felt pain such as this. A pain so shocking that all bodily systems are stalled. His chest begins to heave just as his sight becomes blurry. Any memories tied to you and your anxiety attacks have rapidly been erased. He has nothing, nothing to help him. No one to support him in this unbearable situation. His heart pulses like the clacking of a horse’s hooves, while also freezing every five beats. 

Kas instinctually bends over, falling into a kneel. His chest struggles to rise and fall with each breath taken. His brain is overloaded, cutting all ties with consciousness. 

Dustin rushes to his side with a light and comforting touch upon his best friend’s back. He is very careful not to touch the pink scars ripping across his waist and ribs when catching him. “Eddie,” he calls out softly.

“Eddie…”

“…Eddie”

“Eddie?”

“EDDIE!”

“Oh god! Oh god, Eddie,” Dustin cries as he lands his knees harshly against the cold floor. He pulls his idol’s body onto his lap. Tears stream down his face, dropping onto Eddie’s cheeks below.

Eddie’s entire body was on fire. So much pain but all he cared about was that he finally proved to himself that he was no coward. By the look of Dustin’s blubbering crying face and the fact that he couldn’t feel his toes, he knew that this was it. Time to go out like a rockstar.

“Bad huh?” Eddie coughs up. He could taste the familiar metal on his tongue. It wasn’t the first time blood was in his mouth. 

“No, no,” Dustin starts. “You’re going to be fine. Just gotta get you to the hospital, okay?” His voice keeps hitching. The boy brushes hair from his cheek with a cold breath on his face. 

Eddie nods his head in a desperate attempt to make his little brother feel better, but the blood keeps coming up. He gags on it before muttering, “I think …” The pain shoots up his body in pulsating electrical bursts. “Common,” he utters, trying to hype himself up. He had only a few more words to say before he was done, before he could rest. 

“I think I just … I think I just need a second, okay?” He whispers. He struggles to keep his eyes open, slowly becoming more tired as the minutes pass.

He gets flashes of your smile burning bright. Your laugh, how you cock back your head with each giggle. Your fingers intertwined with his, always such warm hands. A loving smile spreads across his devilish cheeks. “Okay,” Dustin whimpers out in between sobs. 

“I didn’t run away this time, right?” Eddie blurts out with a bit of a chuckle. “No, no, no, no,” Dustin weakly smiles, letting out a bundle of spit with a stifled cry. “You didn’t run.” A cough rips from his throat again. The blood drains from the side of his mouth. 

Happiness fills his aching chest as the thought of Dustin as President of Hellfire plays in his head once again. A thought he fantasizes about often. His eyes close as he sees the light behind the boy’s curly head. “You’re going to have to take care of those sheep for me, okay?”

Dustin lets out a soft whale as he struggles to speak. “No, you’re going to do that yourself,” he whispers stubbornly. Eddie’s brows furrow at the words. He uses all of his might to crash his palm against Dustin’s forearm. 

“Nah, man,” Eddie grumbles. He hated when the boy second guessed himself. Dustin never saw his potential, never felt the confidence he could easily have. Hey, that was the same shit you would say about Eddie all the time. Funny, full circle.

“Say, ‘I’m gonna look after them,” he demands. “Say it.” He wanted the words to come out harsh and strict, bringing the good old dungeon master voice back out for one last ride. He didn’t expect the coughing fit that would erupt from his attempt. 

“I’m… I’m gonna look after…” Dustin starts as the words fall into a jumble of sobs. “Good,” Eddie answers with another harsh cough. 

A smile spreads across his face, the smirk that is clearly copyrighted by the Munson family. “Good, cause I’m actually gonna graduate,” Eddie starts. His smile grows deeper and deeper as he remembers those pretty little eyes of yours. “And I’m gonna marry my Lolly. I think it’s my year, Henderson.” His heart warms - he likes to think it’s because of his incredible future with you, instead of the blood pooling in his lungs. “I think it’s finally my year…”

“...I love you man.”

“I love you too.” 

“… Eddie”

“Eddie …”

“Eddie!”

Kas moves with a body strictly set on autopilot. His mind is screaming, screaming his name. His heart races, beating thickly in his ears. He could still feel Dustin’s tears falling onto his cheeks. He feels the boy leaving. How his pillow, his knees, quickly fall from beneath him. Dustin’s weeping voice as he is pulled away and Eddie is left behind in the Upside Down. 

Before he could stop himself, Kas grabs Dustin’s hands off of his body. He wraps his calloused fingers around his wrists, slamming them harshly against the wall. “What the hell are you doing here?!” He screams into the adversary’s pathetically whimpering face. 

“I-It’s me,” Dustin stutters out, but each word that leaves his lips peaks his anger. Kas yells out a grunt as he digs his fist thick into his collar. He lifts the small boy up and throws him against the floor. Henderson went flying across the living room, sliding upon the carpet. 

Everything became red. A smashing of his knuckles across Dustin’s cheekbones. It hurt, but not as much as when his supposed friend left him behind. This makes Kas feel a whole lot better.

April 7th, 1986. 11:12pm.

Looking back, Kas definitely needed that 14-hour cool down period. He scans over your crushed frame, but your eyes are fixed upon Dustin’s face. His nostrils flare as fluttering lashes drop a tear. He roughly brushes it away with a single finger against his red cheeks.

With a sniffle, Dustin whispers, “O-Okay, hi Kas. I’m Dustin.” His hand shakes awkwardly as he tries to stand. Your arms reach for him, careful not to let him fall. Despite your unfortunate patient, Kas has always adored your caring soul. The dutiful World War Two nurse tending to his eternal wounds. He loves you, not only due to your very beautiful body, but everything within its gorgeous shell - not that you’d ever believe him. 

Dustin looks down at his wavering hands and ripped shirt. His fingertips press against his cheeks. He winces in anticipation of a pain that never comes. “How did I,” he stutters, a gulp thick in his throat. “W-what is this?” Kas finally stands - it was his time to shine. He peers down at Dustin through his cheeks with a lifted chin. The boy stumbles back at his movement, afraid of what may come next. 

Just how Kas likes it: seeing his prey shaking with barely contained fear before him. At least they know the truth - that he’s a monster in sheep’s clothing. 

“I healed you,” Kas starts with a scoff. “Me, I did that,” he points to Dustin’s weak body. His smirk and bouncing brow shoots your way, making sure you acknowledge his selfless act. That annoyed, deadpanned face of yours returned, it’s one of his favorites. 

Dustin looks to you for clarification, some sort of understanding of what the hell happened to his fallen friend. Kas hated it, hated that he looked at you instead of him. Like every word falling from his mouth needed to be fact checked by you.

“Hey, Henderson,” Kas calls out, a whistle to follow. “Eyes over here. Daddy’s telling a story.” 

Kas stalls when he sees both your eyes pop out of their sockets. Dustin’s nostrils are flared as he takes a slow inhale. You quickly drop your gaze to your feet, while stifling a cry. What the hell? Why did the world come to a grinding halt? 

“Vecna saved me,” he continues hesitantly. The words slowly drop from his mouth, each elongated word. “You know, after you left me to rot.”

The boy’s neck extends as shock fills him to his very core. Fire burns true in his little hazel eyes. Something Kas, nor Eddie, has seen outside of the D&D table. 

Oh hello Nog, the Artificer - it’s been a while. 

“Who left you?” Dustin challenges with a finger addressed to the man before him. It makes Kas laugh, enjoying the fire burning within him just like the good arsonist that he is. “‘Cause it sure as shit wasn’t me.”

He steps forward in a way that, involuntarily, spreads shivers down Kas’ spine. A shiver not formed due to fear, shock, nor worry. A shiver that inadvertently fills his body with admiration and respect. “Steve had to pull me away from you,” he says sternly, dangerously entering the other's space. 

Kas’ left brow raises as a smile sprawls across his face. A slow chuckle erupts from within that could scare away Vecna himself. He is callous and cold. His eyes reddening as each word is spoken. “You’re a fucking liar, Henderson,” a cold stern tone to his voice. Kas takes a step towards Dustin, egging him on. “You don’t want to know what I do to liars.” 

Dustin scoffs, suddenly taking the interaction lightly. “Why don’t you start off by telling me exactly who said that I left you?” he asks with rigid eyes. Kas scoffs too, rolling his own, as his lip pulls up on his left side. “Oh,” the boy snickers, making Kas’ entire care-free persona develop into fuel lit fire. “Let me guess, Vecna told you that? Just like how he told you he saved you?” 

“Watch your fucking tongue,” Kas spits through gritted teeth. He could barely see your hands or hear your voice as you attempt to calm the situation. All he could see was red. The resilient, fascinatingly familiar color flushing across his sight. He just needed one good reason to wreck that pretty little face of his. 

“I watched you die and I was there until the very end,” Dustin yells, completely matching his opponent’s energy. “I would have never left you behind.” 

“But you did!” Kas screams into his face. His shoulders raise as he puffs his chest, entirely prepared to destroy the small being. But, fortunately for the boy, you are a sneaky one. A slow palm to his chest, resting with just the right amount of pressure on his sternum. He could feel another hand pressing into his lower back. And somehow he could breathe again. The red slowly dissipating from his mind. All his senses return with lightning speed. It all hit a bit too hard as he struggles to process the next words from his mouth.

“No, I fucking didn’t!” Dustin spit outs with disdain. Your hand still glued to Kas’ hot skin, the only thing keeping the other alive. “Steve ripped me from you, I hated him for weeks…” He loses track of his words as though the memories shot through his precious thinking cap. 

“No, no,” Kas mumbles but the flashes ring true. Dustin cried onto his dying body. He screamed, pleading for Eddie as he was dragged away by Harrington. He didn’t want to go, but Steve was following through on his promise - to protect Henderson. They loved Eddie. His friends would never have left him behind. 

“No!” Kas shouts, pushing the boy back, but he persists, taking a step forward to show his older brother that he meant every single world. 

“It took me so long to see that he was saving my life,” Dustin utters before powerfully pushing two hands against his chest. “I was ready to die with you in front of that trailer!”

Kas bounces back, rocking on his heels with minimal physical damage but holy shit did that fuck over his brain and everything he’s come to know as true so far.

“I should have!” the boy shrieks. Tears stream down his cheeks in a way that breaks Kas’ unbeating heart, in a way he’ll never admit - maybe not even to you. Kas coughs, clearing his throat before plopping back onto the couch. The room is silent until Tobbs calls out to his fellow detective. 

Kas clings onto the TV as a tool for his dissociation. A small voice in his head begins to beg for forgiveness. Regret encapsulates his chest cavity as he acknowledges the pain he caused to not only his prodigy, but to you. The betrayal was his own.

He should have remembered, should have corrected Vecna, but he had nothing. Not a single clue as to what was happening. He was lost, alone. He knew his memories were not his own, but he didn’t care. Anger is easier than loneliness. It wasn’t until he saw you and the graceful flash of your smile that he second guessed those thoughts. 

All he has now is Eddie’s memories from before. He would only need one hand to count how many he’s got, but that’s no excuse. He should’ve remembered. He had an inkling, some part deep deep within him that immediately rejected the idea of Henderson leaving him behind but he didn’t listen.

Why didn’t he listen? How could the idea that everyone would leave him behind be so believable? That he wasn’t worthy of true friendship? What could he have done to deserve that? 

Kas squints before applying pressure from his thumb between his brows. He could feel the beginning of a headache scraping against his forehead. Muffled voices wrack through the air as he struggles to recollect what is true and what he was told.

You and Dustin begin talking about Eddie and his last moments. He now finds distraction from his own thoughts in your conversation.

He, barely, tries to not eavesdrop as you nervously ask, “Did - did he have any message or - or, um, did he say something about me?” His ears perk for an answer that never came. He looks up to see Dustin shaking his head, which forces his heart to sink in his chest. 

Kas instinctually seeks your gaze, knowing without a doubt that this answer would completely destroy you. He watches as your face pales and your body stills. He struggles to deny every fiber in his being that screams for him to hold you. As much as they pleaded and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t manage to move from his seat. His own body betrays him in the midst of all this new found information.

“Tell us the story.” Your mouth barely moves despite the power of the words that fall from your lips. Kas cannot deny the excitement he feels upon being reminded of your undeniable strength. You were easily the strongest woman he has ever met, even if he did remember all the women in his life. He turns towards Dustin, awaiting the story that even he is curious to hear. 

The boy, however, tucks his hands beneath his pits and crosses his arms over his torso. “What’s going to keep him from punching my face in again?” he spits out. Again, he looks right at you as though you were the handler to the rabid dog that Kas was. 

“He won’t hurt you,” you say through grinding teeth. It was enough to make Kas smile and tilt his chin back and forth, like a giddy girl. He sits back, completely relaxed, knowing that you have his back. 

Dustin takes a breath, lowering his eyes before him, but not before cracking his neck to the side. “Eddie was dealing with Chrissy,” he starts. 

You quickly interject, “Yeah, he had a date set with her.” Your eyes fall as you think further. “It - It was a Friday, right?” 

The boy nods his head as he tightens his arms upon his chest. “Vecna killed Chrissy right in front of Eddie.”

The veins in your neck tighten as you clench your teeth. Eyelashes flutter back tears. Kas cannot help but want to protect you. “Are you sure you want to hear this?” he asks in a low tone. The act surprises Dustin. His eyes flash between you two as he realizes the connection you have. 

You take a deep sigh before walking over to the couch beside him. You crash down, hooking your arm around his bicep. You lean into the meat of his arm as your eyes close. “Keep going, Dustin.” 

Kas pulls you in, holding you closer than he thought possible. He would do anything to spare you from this hurt, but he also knows whole heartedly that you needed to hear it - just as he does. “After that, Eddie went into hiding. Cops obviously pinned it on him… and Max, well, she saw him leave the trailer in a hurry-” 

Your head raises upon hearing the name. Kas turns to you for guidance as it remains unfamiliar. “Wait, Max was a part of this?” you ask in disbelief. 

Dustin stalls before answering. He swallows a huge gulp as he squeezes his hands into a fist. “Yes.” Your brain wracks with ideas, struggling to understand exactly who else was involved in this dangerous ruse. “We went searching for Eddie and it led us back to here,” he mutters as he takes a quick glance around. 

“We found out Vecna’s past and how to fight him, and we were ready,” he slows down his words. “We had a plan and we were going to stop him.” His bottom lip begins to quiver. A hand catches his balance upon the back of the recliner. ��Something went wrong, and we needed more time.” 

His eyes suddenly bare holes into yours. You could see the tears welling within them as he struggles to let out the next few words. “He went back,” he swallows, “We would’ve lost so many people if not for him, but by the time I could get back…” He drops his head, shaking it as those fists crash against the tops of his thighs. 

Kas observes every inch of Dustin’s face, of his body language. He understood his words to be true, his feelings to be true. He is distraught. Dustin may have made it out of there alive, but a piece of him still rests on that road right beside Eddie. Dead and hollow. A piece he may never recover.

He rallies the courage from within to finish their interwoven story from his blurred recollection. “I-” he starts. The pronoun explodes a combination of familiarity and disorientation. “I died in his arms.” 

Kas could see your head immediately shooting his way. It made a small smile burst from his lips and shortly take it away. “But after you left, I heard someone. I thought it was you,” he turns your way with a weak grin. Tears flow from the ducts of your eyes, a steady current. “I don’t think it was.”

His voice hitches before he clears it and attempts to continue. “I died a fucking hero,” his eyes raise forward as he is flooded by the reminiscent feeling of bravery and pride. “I wasn’t a coward - no, not anymore.” 

You bite your lip as your arms wrap around his neck. His own tears begin to fall as you pull him into your chest. “You were always a hero, baby,” you whisper into his red, hot ears. "You saved me before any of this happened."

His sobs destroy the very fabric of your being. A sound that will forever haunt your dreams. You take it in waves, all of his pain without regret. Your face slowly becoming stone cold, tears ceasing to exist as you tighten your hold of him. 

Kas clears his throat, slowly pulling away from your soaked shirt. Your hands slowly float to his knees. He looks back at Dustin, his close friend, without anger or resentment. “Vecna brought me back. He told me to kill you,” he mutters while shaking his head. “I came back different.” Another frog is stuck in his throat as he struggles to take in breaths without falling into another sobbing fit. His eyes drop to the hands in his lap. “I wasn’t a killer before, but I am now.” 

Dustin looks your way in a panic, desperately wanting to know more. “He didn’t make me, you know? He taught me how and I just kept it up.” Kas calmly nods as he feels the blood drain from his face. “Eleven people,” his voice hitches as he meets the boy’s innocent eyes. 

“Tammy Thompson, Ryan Trent, Andy Johnson, Carol Carver, Dave McKinney, Paul Richardson, Justine Hutch, Dick Newman, Kristie Peterson, Olivia Wilson, and Vickie McNulty.” 

Kas keeps his head down. Not a single part of him wants to see the terror on either one of your faces. The silence floods the air like a stuffy smoke. It’s almost palpable, almost as though you could feel it weighing down on your defenseless body.

“Vickie.” Dustin slices through the smoke, a wavering tone to his voice. “Vickie from marching band?”

Kas nods his head ever so slightly while struggling to swallow the biggest gulp stuck in his throat. 

He didn’t want to raise his eyes, no not at first. He could remember her screams, particularly hers as they sounded like they were perfectly extracted from Jason Voorhees’ machete. The red of her hair mixed beautifully with the crimson that drenched her clothes.

He would be lying if he said he had any remorse in the kill. He just saw someone he knew. A poor girl smudged with dirt and muck as she struggled to get out from under the library’s debris. He scared her, just a little, to get that blood pumping quickly into his mouth.

“Yes,” Kas finally answers. “Vickie from marching band.” 

Dustin almost collapses backwards, but swiftly rushes to land onto the chair before him. A completely new pain strikes Kas’ heart as he realizes that Vickie meant something to him. Your hand squeezes at the sides of his thigh as you, too, hesitantly land your head against his shoulder. Comforting him, even though you are shocked by his doings.

“I think I need a break,” Dustin mutters. Kas raises his eyes to see that the boy had turned a shade of green. He runs out the front door and vomits off the side of Rick’s porch. A solid tear runs down Kas’ cheek. What has he done? 

While the two are inside, Dustin struggles to keep himself upright. His entire torso is flush against the wooden porch. His eyes almost bulging with each retch.

Robin has been searching for weeks to find Vickie. She’s grown so close to the McNulty family, determined to find her across the Upside Down. She refuses to acknowledge the possibility of her death, the possibility of not being able to save her through all the party's efforts and losses. 

How is he going to tell her about this? 

But amongst the sadness, he cannot deny the feeling of relief in his belly. Eddie is back. Even if it’s some weird, murderous version of him, he can still see him - talk to him. He doesn’t have to pretend to speak to the mist over Lover’s Lake anymore. He doesn’t have to think of a world that Eddie Munson isn’t a part of. 

Sure, his mentor looks different. Much more shirtless than usual. Dustin never thought he would see him in anything but ripped jeans. His hair is longer, smooth and less matted. The contrast between his dark locks and skin reveals how much paler he’s become. Red eyes are a nice touch that he can appreciate when they aren’t paired with a beating.

When Kas speaks, the boy swears he could see sharpened canines. Were those the very knives that dug into his skin before he passed out? 

Regardless, Dustin has his brother back and the happiness that consumes him is undeniable. He would accept him with open arms in any condition. 

A tenacious brotherhood built on fantasy, triumphs, and defeats. A deep connection between a Master Inventor and his Dungeon Master. He wishes he could go back, back to when the worst thing that happened was that D&D got canceled because Corroded Coffin finally got a gig. 

All he can do is wish. 

September 16th, 1985. 8:43pm.

“Yeah, well Mike’s got a girlfriend cross country,” Lucas shares, desperately running away from the attention placed on his and Max’s relationship. 

“What the hell,” Mike gripes as Gareth places a firm hand at the back of his neck. He shakes it while releasing a hellish laughter. “Alright Mike, where’d you meet her? I only slightly think she’s made up.” 

The group laughs as Eddie watches them from his Dungeon Master’s throne. His foot hangs off the edge with a knee to his chest, hands playing with a small ripped paper. 

He is known for his transparency. Whatever he feels is perfectly displayed upon his face. The mood for today is an abundance of annoyance, clear in how he lifts the side of his lips and his eyes roll with each passing second. 

“I met her here actually, she just moved away,” Mike shares. “Her name’s-” 

Eddie slams his hand down onto the table with a force that shakes the auditorium floor. “Why are we talking about maidens?” he asks with a booming voice as he stands from his seat. “We should be talking about how the party’s going to fight Lolth tomorrow,” he hints. 

Dustin’s eyes widen as he slowly asks, “What are you talking about?” He peers around the room, seeing the entire party with mixed expressions of shock and gaping mouths.

Eddie huffs in response, rolling his eyes in annoyance, as he grabs his books and map. “No jerking off tonight, boys. You’re gonna need your throwing hand.” 

The party begins to pack up after a rather rough section of the campaign. Only Lucas, Jeff, and Dustin survived, while the rest await their rebirth. Dustin’s brows pull as he watches his fearless leader. The man who is always moving is now perfectly still. He takes heavy breaths as he grips tightly against the top of his chair. 

“You coming?” Lucas calls out as he and Mike begin to walk down the stage’s stairs. 

“I’ll just meet you there,” Dustin says, waving his hand for the two to leave. He has been trying to find an opportunity to buddy up with the President of Hellfire, maybe this was his chance. “So, Eddie, do you have a sec?” he asks sheepishly. 

Eddie now had his forehead plastered upon the chair as his fingers nervously tap on its sides. He groans as his way of replying to the youngling. Dustin lets out a soft chuckle as he nervously asks, “You okay?” 

Eddie slowly raises his head as a smile lifts to the right of his cheek. “Yeah, I’m good,” he says with squinting eyes. “Hangovers don’t feel like they used to.” He raises his arms to stretch them before rolling his neck.

“I was wondering if, uh, I could get your advice on something?”

Eddie’s eyes perk as he drops his arms and slides into his chair like a snake. “Why yes, the doctor’s in,” he beams with his smile. 

Dustin laughs while pulling a chair out and plopping into the seat. “It’s about girls - uh, maidens,” he starts. 

Eddie nods furiously, gesturing with his hands for him to continue. “What is her name?” he inquires. Dustin drops his head nervously, “Susie.” 

Eddie’s eyes close as he smiles. “Ah, Susie,”  he whispers in acknowledgement. He leans back into his seat, taking a big whiff of the young love in the air.

“Yeah, she, uh, she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I met her back in camp about a year ago and she lives in Utah, but I, uh, I think I love her and I’ve never said that to someone before,” Dustin rambles.

Humming, Eddie sinks back into his chair. His expression is happy and proud of his little freshman. “Well, little man, it sounds like we’re in the exact same situation. If you figure it out, you let me know,” he dismisses with a chuckle. 

Dustin is taken aback. A king like Eddie having trouble with girls, uh - maidens? He’s a rockstar for christ’s sake, what kind of problems could he have? “What’s her name?” he asks, just as plainly as Eddie did before. He snickers beneath his grin as he rests a chin upon his fist. 

“Let’s just call her Lolly,” Eddie lets out with a breathless chuckle. A coy smile sprawls across his lips. 

Dustin’s brow raises with curiosity as he dives in more information. “Lolly, like … Lolth?” he asks, tucking his chin into his neck in excitement. His eyes widen as he lovingly awaits his DM’s answer. 

Eddie blows out a raspberry before sinking even further into the throne. He shakes his head while creasing his eyebrows. “Did you nickname her after our next boss?” Dustin laughs out incredulously. 

“Maybe,” Eddie retorts in a sing-songy voice. He scoffs, throwing his head back. “Go ahead, honestly, tell me that Lolth isn’t a smokin’ hot babe.” 

Henderson smiles, enjoying his mentor’s flustered face. He shrugs, nodding his head - knowing it isn’t wrong. “She must be a badass,” he utters. 

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it,” Eddie adds, running his tongue over the front of his teeth. “She’s my spider queen,” he hisses with excitement.  

Dustin giggles alongside Eddie. Their smiles fill the room with a rose tinted ambience flooded with nostalgia and happiness between old souled friends. The connection between them was palpable, undeniable. Eddie noticed it the second he laid eyes on the small fella. He knew there was something special about him, and he has yet to be proven wrong. 

“In all seriousness, Henderson,” Eddie says lightly, coming down from his laughing fest. “You should tell her. It’s a risk, yeah, but love isn’t really something you can hold onto. Trust me, it eats away at you more than you can imagine. It physically hurts not to say it,” he takes a deep breath. “You’re lucky you don’t have to see her every day.” 

His words peak Dustin’s interest. Who is this maiden? Has he seen her before? Does she go to Hawkins High? He’s never seen his DM so vulnerable, and he revels within the precious moment.

“You can tell her too, Eddie,” he whispers, careful not to upset him. The President raises his eyes and stares behind his curly chocolate bangs. “What if she loves you too?” 

Eddie’s keen smile pulls to one side as he shakes his head. “She doesn’t even know me,” he mutters, leaning back into his chair. 

“Then let her get to know you, man,” Dustin encourages. With a smile, he starts, “A wise man once told me that love was risky but it’s not something you can hold onto-” 

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Screw you, Henderson,” he mutters with a low hummed chuckle. His head cocks to the side as an idea forms in his mind. He leans his elbows onto the table as he locks eyes with the boy. “Let’s make a pact, right here and right now.” Dustin encouragingly nods. “You tell Susie and I - I’ll tell Lolly,” the words start to lose their muster as he continues. 

“You got yourself a deal, Munson,” Dustin slams his hand against Eddie’s, giving him a good shake. A contract that would build the very foundation of their friendship. 

April 7th, 1986. 12:11am.

Your mind feels like a dead plane about to crash into the ocean. A slow spiral as you fall from the heavens and dive into the horror show below. First row, VIP ticket. Guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with a true killer.

Without noticing, your hand slowly slips from his arm. Fingers hook onto your chin as you struggle hard to process the information. To make sense of something that just shouldn’t make sense. 

“You didn’t know who she was,” you start. Your closed eyes tickle lashes against your cheek. “You - you didn’t.”

Kas’ soft, calm voice breaks through the mist, bringing you back down to that ocean floor. “I did,” he murmurs. “I killed her, and I did it because I knew her.” 

You turn to him with tears flooding your vision. The breath is sucked from your lungs, unable to take in more. You finally hit the water - it’s time to sink. “Tell me, just,” you gulp, shaking your head out as your mind screams for you to run. “Make me understand, please.” You turn to him, heaving sobs as you do. “Why did you do this?” 

He drops his gaze, not wanting another second of your crying face to be burned into his mind. He hurt you, again. Regret, again. All for an unneeded kill he made so carelessly. 

Vickie’s red hair bobbed so effortlessly in the mucky mist of the New World. He immediately recognized her from that unfortunate junior year that he had to take band for his elective. Despite the tragedy, she still was perky and determined to get out. 

And that’s why. She had hope, and all he wanted to do was crush it. 

Kas hesitantly reaches for you, wanting to comfort you and distance himself from the situation. The very act shakes you to your core, causing you to cower to the other side of the couch. “Don’t,” you say plainly. He drops his eyes while clenching his jaw in pain. 

Who did he have to blame this time? It’s not like Henderson was the one who brought up their names. It certainly wasn’t you. You knew he had a list, a list of people who died the way you should have, but he knew you would never want to know who. 

And yet, he gave you just that. It breaks any perception that you had of him. The person who took care of you upstairs, who loves you - yeah, that’s a serial killer. Vecna took everything from you. He could care less about how his kills affect other people.

Chrissy died and Eddie became a “serial killer.” Eddie died and … Kas became the serial killer. 

“I don’t,” you start but quickly take in a shaky breath. You pinch your brows together, trying so hard to see any future with him beyond this but everything comes up blank. 

“I killed because I didn’t know any better,” Kas whispers. His gaze stuck on his hands as they rested between his legs. “I was taught to torture, told that every person in Hawkins would rather see me dead than alive.” 

He abruptly stands, practically jumping off the couch. “I had doubts. I - I tested it, you know?” He begins his pacing, desperately trying to stop his heart from exploding his chest with each beat. 

“With Kristie and Dick, I saw them. They were under struggling to get out of town hall. I helped them get out,” he slows his movements. “They were so happy to see me. And that made me happy, a-and I thought - ‘yes, he was wrong!’ But they were just happy until I got them out,” he says softly. 

“They ran from me, called me an ‘asshole’ and a ‘killer,’” Kas mutters as he stands still before you. “I showed them they were right.”

A wave crashes over you. Weak electricity shoots through your body, tingles that make you feel light headed. Your face falls into your hands as you ponder the thought.  

“But then I met you, darlin’,” he says as he crashes onto his knees before you. His big, warm hands pull your palms from your cheeks. “You showed me that there was another way. And - and I don’t want to go back to that.” 

Kas takes a sharp breath before clearing his throat. His quivering voice continues, “I still hear their screams.” You slowly raise your eyes to his. His face contorted and solemn as he struggles to hold back heaving sobs.

“I wish you were there,” he drops his head onto your lap. The tears curl around your face. You cannot help the gentle hand that brushes through his hair. “I wish I died in your arms,” he cries. “If I did, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be in fucking Valhalla or some shit, but I wouldn’t be back here as this monster!”

He sobs into your bare thighs. Your chin quivers as you try to be strong but fail every other second. You feel empty. No worry or remorse toward him or yourself. Just a body floating slowly into the ocean’s depth. 

After some time, you whisper coldly, “You are not a monster.” He raises his swollen eyes to you, the innocent chocolate button eyes bow beneath all this façade. “A monster wouldn’t have regrets. Wouldn’t be crying with the person he tried to kill.” 

After one last swoop of his soft curly hair, your hand rests at his cheek. Kas leans in as he always does. Those innocent eyes flick up to your hardened gaze. “You are not a monster. Not anymore.” He takes in a shaky inhale through his nose. 

“You are going to work hard, harder than you ever have, to make up for what you did.” You gently place your fingers to the side of his chin, squeezing as you guide him to your eyes. Ensuring you are both locked in before finishing your thought.

“But you will never make up for those eleven lives. You will carry them in your heart until you die. And that does not mean you stop fighting to make it right. Do you hear me, Kas?” 

His lashes flutter as he unsuccessfully attempts to hold back his tears. He could see the strength within you. The power you hold that has barely scratched the surface. He couldn’t be more in love with you despite the horror of the words that fell from your supple lips. 

Kas knows, in this moment, that he will happily die for you a million times. He is crazy about you, completely unhinged and dedicated to your smile. He may never make up for what he’s done, but he will put all his power into trying until the day he dies - not just for you, but him as well. It’s not easy living with a guilty conscience, maybe this will make it a bit lighter. 

Regardless his determination is set, your broken heart is more than enough to fuel his intentions. 

“I hear you, darlin’,” Kas utters. His hands delicately reach for yours, intertwining your fingers as they should have been from the very start. “I promise you I will try my absolute hardest to make up for what I’ve done.” He pulls your interlocked hands to his lips. A sweet peck with eyes fixed onto you. “I promise you I will work my damned best to be the man you deserve.” 

His words pull you right out of your spell. Those worried wrinkled lines between your brow completely smooth out. Eyes fall straight down to your hands. A promise you would never expect from Kas, and one you could count on from Eddie. But one and two are not the same, and fear still encapsulates you. 

You want to trust him. To know that he’s that beautiful man who held you in the shower earlier that day. The man who carried you away from danger. The man who saved you from the dangerous, psychotic being he is scared of most in this world. 

But he is also the man who took Vickie and all those people from their families. The man who left you in a ocean of your own tears, naked and afraid in that fucked up version of Hawkins. The man who stalked you, hunted you. The man who almost drank you dry to please his own murderer. 

“Please don’t break it.” The words fall from your lips involuntarily. You aren’t even sure if “it” is referring to his promise, or your heart. “Please,” you finally raise your eyes to him. 

Dustin opens the door, walking into a quiet room. He closes it behind him, locking the deadbolt before landing his back against the wood. It pulls both your attentions, causing Kas to stand and let go of your hand. Your body aches for him, wishing the boy stayed outside just a little bit longer. 

“I lied,” he starts. His hands crash at his hips, letting go of a huge breath of relief. “He said something about you when he was …” 

It was your turn to release a breath of relief. You are confident, fully confident in the love that you and Eddie shared. Doubt wracked your brain when Dustin told you that he didn’t say anything about you in his last words. For whatever reason, the boy held the information from you. The only way you would get it is if you wait, painfully and patiently. “What did he say?” 

Dustin takes a quick look at Kas before returning to you. “He wanted to marry you, after graduation.” You smile with a trembling lip, both taken aback and not surprised at all. The thought of you across from Eddie in a cheesy tux at city hall. It may not be Chicago, or Paris, but being Mrs. Eddie Munson would be an absolute dream that you would choose over the world. 

He laughs as he finishes his thought. “I didn’t know who he was talking about before, but, yeah, it’s pretty clear he was talking about you.” The tears hit him again, a tickle at the back of his throat. He tenses his face to hold it all in. “He nicknamed you Lolth, or Lolly,” another breathy chuckle drops. “Pretty badass D&D character, honestly pretty comparable to Kas.” 

Your heart warms in a way that turns your body into cotton candy. A sensation you haven’t felt since you last laid your eyes on Eddie. It is almost like he is here. You place your hand upon your chest as you sink into the feeling. “Thank you,” you say with a feverish nod. 

Kas watches the woman he loves turn into a rare aurora of orange twinged happiness. He is thankful for the boy, grateful for his honesty. He seeks his eyes to mouth “thank you” himself. 

Dustin nods, but quickly looks away as he is too worried to hold the gaze. He brushes a hand through his hair while uttering, “I don’t know what I’m going to tell the others.” Your ears perk up, causing you to jump up and rush towards him. Your hands firmly grabbing onto his. He pulls away, but hones in on your intensity. 

“You can’t tell anyone.” Your gaze locked on his hazel brown. Your body becomes a mixture of hot white and cold. You just got him back. No one will take you away from him. No one will hurt him. No. No. No! “They don’t need to know.”

Dustin steps back from you with disgust. His hands are harsh as they rip from yours. It is enough to make Kas take a step forward and let out a thick, heated breath. “They need to know,” he starts pointing to Kas. “He is the last person to see Vecna alive. We need to know everything so we can put that asshole into the ground.”

You turn back to Kas, a slow glance over your left shoulder. His attention is pulled upon seeing your movement. Your brows raise at their tips, trying to discern what he is thinking. A slow smile gradually pulls across his lips. An encouraging nod shoots your way. 

The relief filling your chest finally allows you to take a deep breath. You extend your arm backwards with a hopeful expression. He happily reaches for your hand, resting his warm palm against you.

Kas stands beside you, in front of Dustin. In this moment, you realize that he and you are forever. It may not be perfect, it may not be Eddie, but you are in it - for the long haul. Protecting each other against any potential harm. His fight is your fight, just as it should have been with Eddie. There’s no way you’re backing down. 

You shake out your hair, taking in a slow breath for confidence and neutrality. “Who are ‘we?’” you ask. One simple question to determine the safety of the journey forward. Dustin looks to Kas, seeking the answer within him. How did this boy not get it yet? He shakes his head. He doesn’t know every thing. 

Dustin turns to you, clenching his jaw. “Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Lucas, Erica, Mike, El, and Will.” The names float in the air, almost each one recognizable to you. These are the people you see in the hallways. The people in the cafeteria. The people who run the school newspaper. The people in the band. The popular kids. God, how the hell are they all mixed up in this? The only name missing being … 

“Max,” you call out. “You said Max knew what was going on. What - Why isn’t she going to be there?” You rake his face, desperate for an answer, only to see him grow solemn. Kas knew that Henderson’s face undoubtedly meant bad news. He squeezes your hand, letting you know that he is here for you. 

The silence feels unbearable. Your skin is on fire and about to implode. “J-Just tell me,” you start before taking a deep inhale. “Is she dead?” 

“No,” Dustin states. Your heart skips a beat as you gasp in happiness. Max is far too young, far too young to be gone… “But she’s hurt and it’s bad.” 

Your body stills as your breath escapes you once again. “What do you mean?” you utter quickly. Another squeeze to your hand. 

“She’s in the hospital,” the boy utters under his breath. 

You push past him, reaching for the door knob. You don’t even know where you’re going but you are going.

Kas is the one who’s calm hand rests on your forearm, causing you to pause. He models a breath with you before flicking his eyes to Henderson. “Tell the party we’re meeting at Harrington’s at 8. You pick us up at 6 and bring us to Max, then to the party,” he states without a second of hesitancy. Your eyes light up before turning to see Dustin’s reaction. 

“Done,” the boy promises. 

“Dustin!” 

All three of you drop, closer to the ground. The voice comes from outside. You can hear heavy boots onto the steps of the porch before crashing his knuckles against the wood. “Dustin, your mom called.” He groans before knocking again. “Common, I know you’re in there - I can see the light on.”

Steve Harrintgon’s timbre is incredibly clear. He is here, a simple door away to finding out the truth. 

Your heart races faster than it ever has, faster than when you thought you were going to die. You panic, thinking what would happen if Kas and Steve come face to face in such an abrupt manner.

When you whip your head to Kas, his face is calm and unbothered. It gives you strength - a chance to take a breath. 

“Henderson, please. It’s already midnight and Robin’s in the car. If you don’t come out soon, she’s gonna start holding down on the horn,” Steve says with an exhausted tone. A huge yawn follows his words.

Dustin shoots his eyes towards Kas. He gestures for you both to move, to make your way to the kitchen. Kas nods, and guides you over with your intertwined hands.

“Just wait a damn second, Harrington,” Dustin spits out. “I’m getting my shit.” Kas leads you behind the fridge, squeezing your hand in repetitive pulses until you both are safely hidden. 

Dustin swings the door open and steps outside, pushing his way through Steve’s burgundy sweater. “Dude, you gotta stop coming here,” he scolds as the boy closes the door behind him. “How did you even get in?” The voices trail off, but you remain silent, still, and pressed against the fridge. 

Upon hearing Steve’s car pull away, you let out a breath of relief. You instinctually let go of Kas’ hand, stretching your arms and cracking your knuckles to release the tensing pressure. “That was close,” you whisper under your breath. 

Kas slowly wraps his arms around your waist, digging your hips against his. “It was,” he says as his eyes rake over your features. One hand releases to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. It is almost as though he is lovingly adoring everything but your eyes, leaving them for last. 

“Should we finally get that rest now?” he suggests with a smirk. 

Your eyes fall on him as though this was your first time ever truly seeing him. The way his lips part when he looks at you. Those eyes that stop your heart every time they land on you. The way his curled locks land right on his collar bones. His alabaster skin, soft and sensual. The spider tattoo on his peck that you love so much. 

Before you knew it, your hand was trailing across his torso. Peck to peck, before sliding down his sternum and onto his belly. Your eyes were locked, as though they were in a trance, completely intoxicated by his incredible body. Almost as though an alarm went off, your head perks and returns back to hold his gaze. “I would like that.”

Kas smiles as he leads you back into the living room, back up the stairs, and back into the room that will forever, now, be deemed as yours. He lands back onto the mattress, floating upon its waves, as he guides you down beside him.

Your head rests where it belongs, on your favorite spider tattoo and just above his heart. His arm wraps around the small of your back. A hand lightly tracing dancing fingers against your upper arm as you pull closer into his chest. 

A sleep you have been waiting for. A sleep you deserve - you both deserve. 

“Good night, Kas,” you whisper against his skin. “Good night, darlin’,” he whispers back. 

“I love you.” 

note: people really need to stop bothering lolly and kas during their vacation stay at reefer rick's! also, i am physically cringing at the thought of kas meeting the party. I oh so very scared and idk what's gonna happen. get ready y'all.

season two finale • coming soon •

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• nav • no-no plagiarism • series • requests open •

[i-spilled-my-soup]

Top 5 fav characters in the whole percy jackson series?

in no particular order. and biased with my personal headcanon cooking

nico di angelo (to the surprise of no one) cause he's got that inferiority complex and hero complex and that unreliable worldview. he's incorrect about everything. i do wish he was unhappier though

clarisse la rue cause pjo show direction goes CRAZY for her introduction (whole new perspective honestly) and her character arc is gas, she's like achilles without the woman-hating

dakota (no last name???) he was there for like five minutes but he's so chill it's crazy. i always imagined him with long dreadlocks in a medium-high ponytail for some reason

will solace (also to the surprise of no one) cause he's the opposite of the "hates everyone but you" trope. i imagine he is very kind and patient except when he is with close friends. like the kindness increases with closeness until a point where it turns into strong negative correlation. also inferiority complex and medicine is cool

ummm dionysus is pretty cool, loved when he drove those guys to insanity. real bacchae moment. also pjo show character direction for his introduction goes crazy

also just cause these were off the top of my head... and i am oftentimes far more invested in the character's narrative than actual plot points... this is not reasonable or defendable in any sense of the word so i apologize

shoutout to pjo show direction though. love that narratology. grover is just like me fr. annabeth's lack of any explanation goes crazy she is just like that one smart kid in class whose thought process no one can understand. clarisse direction goes crazy she is actually so intimidating. percy is just a funny guy who loves his mom (dionysus moment). yeah that's the brainpan emptied thumbsup emoji

[lurkingshan]

La Pluie Breaks the Soulmate Bond

I gotta start this post with a little light self-congratulation. Because y’all, I have been saying for weeks that La Pluie has been inviting us to interrogate the soulmate lore from the start, that the show is intentionally subverting the soulmate trope, and that the show has been meticulously layering in big and small challenges to the soulmate myth to continually reinforce that the choices character make and the work they put into their relationships is what matters most.

As always, I gotta also credit @bengiyo @ginnymoonbeam @wen-kexing-apologist @kyr-kun-chan who have been my La Pluie squad from the start and teasing out these ideas with me along the way. We have been clowning correctly on this one from the beginning, friends.

Despite all the above that the show has set up from the very start, heading into episode 10 there was still a bit of uncertainty hanging around the show’s perspective on soulmates, because Patts and Tai were still deciding to be together, and they have other connections between them that could be read as fate. My take on that has been that the show is ultimately agnostic about whether destiny and fate are real, and the intent of the narrative has been to guide us over and over again to choice being the crucial factor in relationships. We saw Lomfon suddenly develop a hearing loss connection to Patts and Tai at a moment when he was desperate to find his role with Tai and in the midst of their relationship. And then in episode 10, Tai definitively rejected the soulmate bond, and the universe answered his call.

gif by @liyazaki

And with that, the hearing loss connection between all three of them is gone, because Tai willed it so. He earnestly doesn’t want this soulmate bond with Patts and Lomfon anymore, and so he is able to free himself from it. The entire arc with Lomfon suddenly developing hearing loss has been underscoring once again that the people in this universe don’t really understand this phenomenon at all and any meaning they have ascribed to it is based in their own biases (@shortpplfedup). Tai initially wanted to reject the soulmate bond because his faith was shaken by his parents’ divorce. Lomfon suddenly wants to believe in it because he is invested in having a special connection to Tai to justify his fixation on him. And Patts is the character who has always embodied the show’s own perspective on the bond: some kind of fate or destiny might be at work to give them opportunities to connect, but ultimately they have to choose each other. 

gif by @liyazaki

At this point in the story, it makes sense for Tai to choose to be done with the hearing loss connection entirely. It has caused him nothing but anxiety and confusion and turmoil. Before he even met Patts, just the fact that he had a hearing loss connection reactivated his trauma around his parents and caused him to retreat into his avoidant coping mechanisms. After he met Patts, their relationship only progressed when they got away from the hearing loss connection. And now that he had finally made his peace with a kind of agnosticism toward the connection and committed to Patts regardless of its meaning, the hearing loss connection is back to fuck with him again by bringing Lomfon into his orbit and forcing him to deal with another person who thinks they have a fate. Is it any wonder that Tai is sick of this shit?

There are so many implications of Tai inadvertently breaking the soulmate bond through his force of will. It tells us that choice has always been at the heart of the conception of fate in this universe. That the hearing loss connection provides an opportunity to open up a line of communication, but that communication line can be severed. That a hearing loss sufferer can choose to be with someone other than the person they hear when it rains. That a couple like Tai’s parents can choose to split up and live separate lives and not be constrained by the fate that has been placed upon them. That in the case of someone like Lomfon, a hearing loss connection can be forged in the first place by a sincere desire to connect with someone you already believe you have a fate with, but that the other person does not have to accept the connection you crave. 

And now that the soulmate bond between these characters is gone, we come to the final arc, where the show gets to make its ultimate point. The crutch of a fated destiny is gone. Tai can no longer count on the hearing loss connection to lead Patts back to him when he runs. He has isolated himself completely and dealt serious damage to their relationship. He cannot wait passively for the universe to deliver him the love he wants - if he is going to get his life in order he will need to take action. He will need to finally deal with his hang ups about his parents. He will need to take the initiative to make amends and reconnect with Patts. He will have to stop withholding parts of himself and learn to communicate honestly with his partner. And he will have to choose to do all of that on his own.

[fangirling-heart]

returning the favor! Also with arcane questions cause I’m cool liek that

Show- Arcane

3, 6 (a doozy of a question when it comes to arcane lmao) 9, 15

Ship - Caitvi also

2,9,12,14

Character - hmm. Caitlyn.

1,8,10,13

Hello there and thanks for the ask! A giant ask might I add (not that I'm complaining). *cracks knuckles* let's do this!

Arcane:

3....which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.

Probably the scene of Jayce and Mel having sex. I don't know it's the only one I can think of (probably because I'm sex repulsed and wasn't too invested in their relationship)

6. which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.

Oof.... real hard I know! I gotta say it's...

Vi and Jinx/Powder

Le gasp! 🫨 Big shock, huh?

It's true though, their relationship started so sweet and wholesome and then turned into one of the most tragic and angsty ones I've ever seen just.... Ughhh!!! I'm a sucker for tragic siblings!!!

9. which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.

Jinx/Powder and Ekko. Those two were supposed to be best friends back when they were kids and it's a pity that all we got from this was some glimpses in a music video, some jabs as teens/young adults and a flashback-esque scene. I think it would also make their fight scenes hit harder.

15. which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

Singed perhaps. Mainly because I don't want more death near my faves! Though I know that that's probably a long shot, especially after that post of Ella Purnell...

Caitvi:

2. why I do or don't ship them.

I just love their chemistry so much! Their whole dynamic is really great. It looks like they are so different and like it wouldn't/shouldn't work but still it does, because of their differences and because at their core they're both so similar.

I honestly don't know ifni can explain it any better. I just think they're really neat!

9. what my ideal endgame for them is.

Pretty much the same as yours. They end up being happily in a relationship, after solving the whole situation with Jinx and while working through their traumas.

12. about three of the scenes that make me have feelings and (if available) find the gifs that underline my points.

Scene 1. "You're hot, cupcake." I don't think this one needs an explanation.

Scene 2. Caitlyn caring for Vi after Sevika stabs her. This type of scenes is always a win for me in whatever kind of relationship and the tenderness Caitlyn show to Vi at this moment, while Vi is so adamant about refusing it, but ultimately accepts it... God I love it!

This part especially!!!

Scene 3. That scene of them in Caitlyn's bedroom. Them lying together, the softness of their voices, Vi being vulnerable with Cait, talking to her about a happy memory and about her guilt and Cait offering nothing but gentleness...

I mean look at the way she's touching her! And how Vi looks at her!!!

14. which tropes I think describe them the best.

Class divide, definitely, and opposites attract. Also, I think princess and knight suits them really well.

Caitlyn:

1). why I love them, like them or hate them.

Caitlyn is to me one of the most genuine characters in Arcane, especially when you compare her to the rest of the people in Piltover. Her honesty and humility and kindness really set her apart from nearly everyone surrounding her, along with her willingness to do stuff on her own instead of having someone else do it for her. As she states herself, she is a misfit and I love her for that!

8. a headcanon I have about this character.

Since that shooting competition and her talk with Sheriff Grayson, Caitlyn started idolizing her. Grayson maybe even took her under her wing for a while (I'm saying maybe because we don't know exactly when that competition took place).

10. if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

I kinda liked her from the beginning. I thought she was adorable as a kid (massive props to her voice actress). But she elevated to favorite status as the story was progressing. When we first met her as a child I thought she would be kind of like a side character and that we wouldn't be seeing much of her, and boy am I glad I was proven wrong!

13. how I'd do it if they had to be written out of the story.

From what I understand, this means how I would change the story if I had to remove Caitlyn.

Hmmm... pretty tough. Story-wise, Caitlyn is really important. She breaks Vi out of prison, she has connections to the council, thus being able to actually remind them that the people of the Undercity exists, because we know they wouldn't on their own...

In that case, I think a change I would make, would be Vi breaking out of Stillwater herself after hearing Silco's goon complain about this blue-haired girl with the bombs and realizes that's her sister. She kicks his ass like in canon, basically starting a riot, and into the chaos she fights her way out. She almost escapes, but she is stopped bybthe guy in the entrance. She puts up a fight again, but since she knows she can't fight anymore, she pretends to get beaten to death so they dump her body in the water. When they do, she swims to the other side and voila, Vi is back.

Now the rest for a good part goes as in canon. Vi returns to the lanes, she gets her jacket and her food, she goes to the brothel for info, confronts Sevika and when she gets stabbed, instead of Caitlyn, Ekko's the one who saves her. He saw her entering the Undercity after her escape and followed her. He brings her to his hideout, with the rest of the firelights, they tend to her wound and he fills her in on what happened during her absence. Vi of course doesn't really accept that her sister has changed and insists she can help her.

Meanwhile, like in canon Sevika tells Jinx about Vi being back, as a chance to get rid of her. Jinx goes out and the iconic flare scene takes place.

At the same time, after Ekko and some of the fireflies leave, Vi sneaks out and follows them, but then sees the smoke and goes up to find her sister.

The two reunite, but then Ekko and the others show up, a fight breaks out and Vi tries to get them all to stop, even yelling "Powder, that's Ekko!" And her responding "Yeah, no shit!" or something like that. Vi gets knocked down again, either by accident, by trying to get Jinx to stop shooting , which ends with her slamming her machine gun on her face (similarly like how she did with Caitlyn) and that makes her freeze for a moment like "Holy shit I hurt Vi!". The firelights take advantage of this, overpower her and take both her and Vi back in their hideout.

That's all I could think of so far. Come to think of it, I think it would be a good idea for a fanfic!

[dirtytransmasc]

The Last Kingdom proves that media is capable of creating beautiful cis/het relationships that are healthy and worth investing in. certain straight people like to say queer people are “weird” (an much worse) for making “all their shows” gay, and then giving the worst examples of “healthy straight relationships” you have ever seen. like they will be the most toxic, bland, and unnecassery ships ever and even more so when compared to the queer fanon ships in the fandom. 

TLK just did it right, I was never mad to see a couple because they either had chemistry, or them not having chemistry was on purpose for the story. I have said this time and time again, but TLK actively condemns unhealthy tropes and making sure to have the “healthy equivalent” (heavily simplified explanation that I might go back to later in another post) being center stage. 

like Gisela and Uhtred? I just wanted them to be happy, I wanted them to be free of Alfred and happy with their kids out in the country living and practicing their best pagan lives. Sihtric and Ealhswith? we barely see them together, but the joy on his face when he’s with her (especially when he went to bring her flowers, he was so whipped, and the smile on his face could warm Niflheim), and the love they clearly share for not only each other but for their kids (cause he’s doing something right, he’s got at least 6 or 7). Finan and Ingrid? again, we don’t see much, but they clearly make each other happy, especially after Finan has lost one family before, she helps him flourish. Uhtred and Aethelflaed? heartbroken, never felt more pain in my life, the constant ebb and flow, yearn and denial, it was monumental. Stiorra and Sigtryggr? I have never seen two people be more in love in my life, they were young and happy, she was his queen and he worshiped her, and they deserved all the time in the world. Even Alfred and Aelswith, while they weren’t my favorite people and their love was clealry and stated to be strained, I really felt like those last few years they were truly bound by love, and it was beautiful.  

even the non canon ships, Finan and Eadith or Osferth and Eadith (I can’t really think of any others) had standing. even when ships canon or not weren’t my cup of tea I was never bored or put off, because it felt real. 

And all the while, platonic relationships, specifically male relationships, were never forced to suffer. platonic relationships were actually put first time and time again. 

media industry, do better!

[hellaverse-critical-confessions]

Heyyyy what's your LEAST favorite thing in Helluva Boss? (I personally do NOT like the Stolitz drama, and also the writing of the recent episodes.)

Hmmmmmmm

LEAST favorite? That's a hard pick...

You've already mentioned Stolitz, but within that one huge mess of botched writing decisions, what turned me off from continuing to watch the show consistently was the introduction of the childhood friends trope in The Circus. I lost any investment in the show after that, since that episode felt like I was watching something else all of a sudden, as if it were animated fanfiction of the real Helluva Boss. It was an unnecessary choice, it muddled things (isn't Stolas supposed to be ancient?), it wasn't at all foreshadowed or hinted at in the first season and it had no purpose other than to make you root further for these two. As if one day's interaction as children would negate all the previously established wrongs about their relationship because "it was meant to be from the start, see?"

And it's pretty much an open secret that the idea WAS fanfiction. A fan doodled it, Viv saw it and took a liking, then she put it in her show. That's... not the most sympathetic method of story planning for me. For a studio-made show that's supposed to be professional, anyhow.

We could've had a Blitzo focused childhood flashback without Stolas in it. 'Cause you know. He got to have a dynamic with Fizz (with their play with the balloon horses alluding to him losing his limbs), but we didn't get to see his mother, and his literal twin sister wasn't even mentioned. And I don't know when the "incident" happened, but I'm sure we could've delved a bit more into these characters without spoiling too much, and made the audience care about Barbie Wire before her "big" introduction in Unhappy Campers. Because until then, we only had a picture on the wall to indicate her existence within the show.

...But instead let's look at fluffy little owl chick Stolas, isn't he adorable, guys? He can do no wrong and is so smitten with the kid his dad bought him and after all those years he never forgot his only ever friend (except he did) and how could you NOT want them to be together after that?! It's practically destiny!

[csolarstorm]

The Secret Invasion Finale, The Bloated MCU, and the Hollywood Strikes

Well, that was the minimum Marvel could have done to close out "Secret Invasion". Because it was a short episode. A short episode ending a short series. But at least the stage is set for Captain America: Brave New World. I mean, The Marvels. Oh, also Armor Wars. And MI-13, I guess?

Why is everything in the MCU setup now?! C'mon Marvel, finish the arc in front of you before you start a new one! You still haven't started Young Avengers after introducing like a dozen potential members!

Sonya Falsworth finally got her moment. She turned out to be...more setup for a future project! *looks it up* MI-13? British Avengers? Why, Marvel Studios?

Should've known. Valentina cameo'd in two projects and played a "role" in Wakanda Forever, and she's still a blank slate. At least Falsworth had a fun scene where she tortured a guy. Wait.

Is the MCU horrible? I mean, like, ethically.

Marvel Studios did a big disservice to this series. This show had a few of the best written scenes in the MCU, and I doubt that these same writers wanted to write scenes like General "I like dogs better" Gravik blaming Fury for making him kill humans, or Fury simply asking Vaara to "take him back" without any explanation after the heartbreaking finality of their shootout in Beloved.

The whole premise of the Skrulls blaming Fury for abandoning them for SABER never worked, because SABER is a space station. Where Fury works with more Skrulls. A breakdown in communication here does not make any sense. This plotline where Fury apparently avoided Talos and the Skrulls counsel makes no sense.

What makes more sense is that Fury and the Skrulls were working for each other's best interests on SABER, and that's how he found out that the Kree were open to peace talks. This show doesn't mesh with the arc it's supposed to continue.

The MCU opted to humanize Skrulls. They wanted to avoid the trope of the sinister bodysnatcher because of its roots in the Red Scare and antisemitism.

The problem is, they also wanted a Secret Invasion project, so they needed to have their cake and eat it too. This show is at it's best when it's completely ignoring the bodysnatcher plot and instead talking with confused, grieving refugees who just want to live as themselves. The writers didn't want to do a bodysnatcher plot. They avoided or discounted almost every convention of the genre. The only instance of a Skrull replacing a main character came at the cost of the characterization of the Skrull themselves.

Honestly, the show should have been about Fury and Rhodey (the real one) falling victim to paranoia, causing them to fear the Skrulls and each other. Just like that Twilight episode where a blackout turns a whole neighborhood against each other. Make it a show about the dangers of xenophobia and how it can destroy friendships and alliances.

There are tons of great alternative pitches for the show like this, but when it came down to it, Marvel Studios clearly wanted a specific story with clear villains and most importantly, an Avenger replaced with a Skrull like in the comics. And I think they cut up what was probably a perfectly good script to make it fit the formula.

Marvel Studios does not have it together. Disney does not have it together. The big studios do not have it together. This show is a perfect example of why we need to support the Writers and Actors strikes. The creative talent should not have to pay for the management blunders of the streaming wars. Support the writers, the actors, and especially the effects teams, even though they're not unionized and can't strike, which is a whole other ethical issue. Support the WGA and the SAG-AFTRA strikes!

The MCU wasn't ready for a Secret Invasion plotline. Marvel Studios wasn't invested in adapting the actual comic. But they still shoehorned it in there for more content, inevitably making headaches for their writers, their effects artists, and probably their actors too. And the intro used AI.

You used to be cool, Marvel Studios.

[kitchfit]

Year in Review: Movies Part 1

I don't have that great of an attention span. If its something I am invested in I can spend hours upon hours reading or playing through it until I get a headache telling me its time for bed, but if something doesn't hook me after around 30 minutes I'm probably turning it off or putting it down for a bit. It is for this reason I don't finish a lot of movies unless there is another reason to watch through it all. Usually that means watching it with other people. If there aren't friends to help me finish this movie it's probably going back in the case, which I think is true for all but one movie on this list.

Glass Onion

Knives Out is one of my favorite movies of all time. I've not read any of Agatha Christie's works which is who Benoit Blanc is largely parodying, but I do love other things inspired by her such as Columbo, and the first movie is a stellar deconstruction of that genre, while still providing an engaging mystery. I saw this movie's baby brother at the dawn of the New Year alongside my cousin, both fervently pushing out trope appropriate theories only to be completely wrong at the twist ending in plain sight.

This sequel is not anything as elegant as the first, but still seeks to deconstruct mystery tropes in a very similar fashion. The mastermind behind a series of murders or even one murder is a role often given to rich, suave, and intelligent people of high standing. It is this role that Edward Norton's character sees himself as, but while he is a rich dude of high standing, he is a more realistic rich dude than most murder mystery antagonists; that is, an arrogant dumbass who got where he is by manipulating and screwing over everyone he can. He wants to be complex while being transparently simple. Also he smells. LIKE AN ONION. WHOA. ONE MADE OUT OF GLASS. THANKS JOHN LEMON.

A Silent Voice

A good way to get me to watch a movie until the end is to make it animated, that way even if its boring as all hell I still get to look at some pretty art. That's not the case with this movie. I first watched this on a bus ride when I was sixteen with one earphone on while the girl next to me held it up on her phone. That was a good memory, but seeing the gorgeous animation on the big screen was a nice treat.

I love the dynamic between the two main characters. I wouldn't say this movie is a romance in any real sense of the term, but is about a relationship. Both of these kids spend most of their adolescence admonishing themselves for hurting the other, believing everyone hates them for what happened when they were 10. This is especially tragic for Shouko, the deaf girl who did literally nothing besides exist and try to make friends. The fact that she blames herself for her bully becoming ostracized is even played as a twist, but its a very realistic mindset anyone can fall into. The theme is forgiveness of the self after others have already forgiven you, which can be pretty tough to do, especially when you've done some genuinely shitty stuff.

I also showed this movie to my mom, an ASL instructor and translator, cause I thought it might be interesting for her, but she lost interest and fell asleep after she realized it was JSL and couldn't understand it.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

My friends were freaking out about this film, one of them going so far as to watch it like six separate times within the span of a couple weeks. This made me expect it to blow my mind, but it was just a very well written, beautifully animated movie about a cat coming to terms with its own death. I think the drought of movies with good writing from mainstream studios really elevated this one further than it would have normally. It was nice to return to this character, having grown up with the Shrek films, and doubly nice to see his character arc being used to discuss a serious topic in a healthy way.

The central conflict is the most compelling aspect of the story, the John Mulaney villain and Goldilocks subplot are funny and entertaining, but the effectiveness of Death as the main antagonist is genius. The Shrek universe has always been a conglomeration of fairytales and folktales brought to one setting, and who is most common death metaphor than the big bad wolf? Or I'm sorry. Not a metaphor. He's just Death. Straight up. You don't outrun death or win against it in any meaningful capacity, and the story could only end with Puss' acceptance that he will die. There's no Sisypussing his way out of this one. Pussyphusing? Pfft.

X-Men: First Class

My dad and I decided to watch through every X-Men movie earlier this year. We managed two of them. They're good movies, most of them at least, but marathoning all *looks at watch* eleven films just never came to fruition. This one might be in my top 3 for X-Men movies, though. Xavier and Magneto's relationship has always been the most interesting part of these films, and this movie puts it front and center. Xavier's focus on helping his friend make peace with his traumatic past is something so genuinely sweet that ultimately empowers his greatest enemy. It's this understanding they have with each other, established in this movie, that underlines every interaction they have in the future.

The rest of this movie is pretty standard origin story stuff for the ensemble cast. How the Beast Became Blue. How Mystique Stopped Pretending and Became Her True Blue Self. How the Guy Who's Power is To Never Die, Died. It's fun for what it is but overall pretty generic.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

This is also one of the better X-Men films, not sure if I'd put it in the top 3, but there's enough time travel nonsense in this movie to make me giddy. I love paradoxical bullshit. This movie works as both a direct sequel to First Class, while also working in the continuity of the first 7 or so films. It's the Apocalypse, baby! Okay, not that Apocalypse, I still haven't seen that one, but we are introduced to one of the more famous fascist genocidal hellscapes to come out of Marvel comics. The story starts at the very end of this murderous crusade, only a handful of mutants are still alive, grouped together as a unit in some abandoned... temple bunker? I'm sure this is explained somewhere in the movie, but it makes a cool setting to fight for your life in.

Most of the plot, however, takes place in the 70s. It was a big twist in the comics that the girl who can walk through space without hindrance can also walk through time the same way, but in this movie Kitty Pryde can only send other people into their past selves, meaning it's once again Wolverine's turn to take the spotlight, because Hugh Jackman is more expensive than Elliot Page. It makes less sense, but this movie still has a lot of fun jumping between the past and future versions of established characters. Angry, passionate Magneto in his 30s vs the wizened Sir Ian McKellen Magneto. At some point the X Man himself gets to talk directly to his depressed, 70s incarnation. Not to mention Quicksilver is there, which is always nice.

This was the "Rogue Cut," which adds cut content about Rogue infiltrating a sentry factory to blow it up. The new stuff doesn't add a lot, but I did like her character from earlier films, so it was cool to see her again.

Shrek

After the joy of obsessing over Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, one of my friends insisted that we all catch up on the deep lore of the franchise, and go through every Shrek movie in order. Unlike with X-Men, we succeeded in one marathon through them all. The dude who suggested this also made the assertion that PiB: Wish was the first Shrek film to feature blood and cursing. This is patently false and I took immense pleasure in proving him wrong. *whispers* Shrek says ass within the first twenty minutes, don't tell mom!

The first movie got memed on quite a bit, but I think most people have come around to enjoying it in a genuine sense. It's a cute love story with a good message and funny fard jokes. I don't think the gross-out humor really oversteps in bounds, and it would feel pretty bizarre in hindsight if a movie like Shrek ever toned that stuff down. There were a lot of movies with "fairytales come to life and their rude and goofy," as their premise, (think Hoodwinked, another fun movie) but I think the style of the Shrek world comes off in the most endearing way. Or maybe that's just nostalgia talking.

Shrek 2

I have the soundtrack of this movie embedded into my skull. I had the CD growing up and would make my mom play it in the car on the way to primary school ad nauseum. I also had the entire movie with incredibly compressed graphics on my GBA. This classic film is synonymous with my early childhood, and it holds up really well. It's shorter than I remembered, but I think that's just because it's so expertly paced.

It also introduces our favorite fearless hero, who blends effortlessly into the main cast. All of the character's play off of each other really well, actually. The gags of a royal knight planting catnip on Puss or Gingy yelling "IT'S A THONG" to get Pinocchio to lie still get me. Not to mention the perfect fight scene scored by "I Need a Hero." Every studio with rights to that song have been chasing that high ever since.

Shrek the Third

Some people hate this movie with genuine vile and malice in their hearts. Maybe that's harsh. It definitely doesn't match the highs of either of the first two, but I still enjoyed it a lot as a kid and had a good time with it now. My friend noted that the first half of this film has a lot of funny gags that peter out in the second half, where the focus is on Shrek's complicated feelings on fatherhood. There are moments in the movie where I can tell it can't decide whether to write a scene with appropriate drama or make a stupid joke, which is odd as the first one balanced those aspects pretty elegantly.

This movie does have a sequence where the classic fairytale princesses learn martial arts from Julie Andrews and kick the bark covered asses of the trees from Wizard of Oz, all to the beat of Barracuda. Disney could never. I also like that Prince Charming takes a more central role as antagonist in the story this time around, which feels very appropriate for the setting. Justin Timberlake is here too I guess. Damn, I forgot about him. Sorry Justin.

Shrek the Final Chapter

This movie came out when I believed myself toooo olllllllld and MATURE for silly animated movies with farting in them. I had grown, and was ready for stuff like *looks at movies that came out 2010* MEGAMIND, an even sillier animated movie with still probably several fart jokes. I had a bunch of reasons for disliking this one when it came out, but I don't really recall any of them. This movie is pretty wild upon revisiting. Shrek pulls a It's a Wonderful Life with Rumpelstiltskin and is pulled into an alternate universe fanfiction where he never existed, joins an Ogre resistance and tries to get his wife to fall in love with him again. It's such a goofy premise with some fairly well constructed dramatic moments. It's also very good 3D animation for its time, which might be consistent with the rest of the series.

There's a scene where Rumpelstiltskin jumps off a ledge and makes a weird noise that I cannot for the life of me find on youtube, but it sticks in my brain for some reason. He's a pretty fun villain, overall, all of his scenes made me laugh. I think we watched the other Puss in Boots movie after this, but I fell asleep. Sorry Justin.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

This franchise got reimagined with a new cast a few years ago, and for some reason became a controversial focus of American politics for several weeks. I mean not for some reason, it was really just sexism. Women? Fighting ghosts??? Only men fight ghosts in real life, everyone knows that. This movie, on the other hand, is a direct sequel to the original film and also didn't come out during an election year, so even though Girls do be Fighting Ghosts in this one, there was less outrage around it. It's a fun homage to the original, but doesn't acknowledge the original Ghostbusters 2 in the least, and that movie genuinely freaked me out as a kid with its pink slime that kills you.

The film focuses on the very autistic granddaughter of the late and famously autistic member of the original cast, Egon. She's a delightful protagonist throughout the story, working with the ghost of her grandfather to uncover the truth behind the natural disasters plaguing her Podunk town. There are also some fun new ghost designs our child heroes have to overcome. The supporting cast is serviceable, mostly focused around Finn Wolfhard and Paul Rudd's eternal struggle to get dates before the world is eaten by Gozer, or whoever. There's a lot of nostalgia bait in this movie. The OG Ghostbusters even make a Deus Ex Machina style cameo, saving Baby Egon at the last moment aside a CGI Harold Ramis that did get me to tear up a little. This whole movie was dedicated to him, which is sweet.

Kingdom Hearts: Back Cover

Remember when I said I was done talking about Kingdom Hearts for this year? No? You haven't been reading these? That's okay, I was lying anyway. As part of my full bodily integration into this series, I watched the entirety of the KH Union X Cutscenes interspersed with clips from the Back Cover movie in order of the proper timeline of events. This is probably the sanest way to experience this story. The original has you play a mobile game where you are updated on the plot every ten or so boring ass missions and then watch the movie as a companion piece. It's a pretty engaging narrative by KH standards, but its told in the most batshit way possible, which I guess is also up to KH standards. You can watch it here, if the embeds work:

The first part of this story focuses on a member of the Keyblade Guilds, who is slowly encroaching upon the reality that the organization they're apart of is tearing itself apart. All of the Guild Masters are in conflict over a potential traitor, and this suspicion eventually spirals into an entire war. The Master of these Masters, or MoM, is largely implied to have orchestrated the entire event. The second half focuses on the fallout from that war as the surviving Guild members try to escape the end of the world.

I got pretty attached to several of the characters and their ultimate fate, but I think this could have worked better as a TV show rather than a REALLY BORING MOBILE GAME. I guess you can watch it as a TV show, if you watch the video above in 30 minute chunks, and if you're okay with beautiful 3D animated cutscenes transitioning into kind of stale sprite art at random.

Alright ending this here. I didn't finish this on Friday as I had some other Things going on, so we're in for a double feature! Hopefully, I'll continue on the games list which will be out this evening. I'm writing these ahead of time so who knows???

[psychewritesbs]

hi again!! wishing you a really good week, and thanking the stars for having sent you my last ask; thank you so much for your reply!!! got so excited reading it, your words, taking your time to reply me, it really means the world to me..!!

"there's meaning in everything but if only we choose to create it in the face of the existential dread that is the chaos of the human experience" ohmmmfff!!!

loved that you got so Jungian with your reply, really into it and always curious about it!

"Gege has created a character that is a container for exploring ourselves creatively" yes!!!! not only Megumi got me thinking about the consequences of undermining myself, but also the implications of not asking for help, risking everything to save someone else, and asking myself who is worthy of being saved. even if doing everything you can to save someone you love is very admirable, i think Megumi creates this *illusion* to himself that he has the power to both save and decide who should be saved, and i can relate to that. at the same time, he doesn't seem to deem himself worthy of saving, disregarding his own life many times... i've been wondering for some time now: if for Megumi there are the good people, who should be saved no matter what it costs, and the bad people, who shouldn't be saved, while he himself doesn't seem to value his own life/finds it hard to ask for help... then which one of these, "bad" or "good", is he (to himself)? what does Megumi think he is worthy of, what does he think he deserves in his life?

"I wasn't scared to face what I saw in myself". i think this is a really really powerful process in our lives that Megumi's character can bring to surface - by us being open to it.

and i can see him going through *the tip* of this process, specifically after his first killing in the culling games, when he asks himself "what am i doing?".

"You made me realize I want to see him believe in himself again. When Megumi believes in himself, literal magic happens. (...) I cannot wait to see Megumi wreck Sukuna from the inside." holy sh*t yeah!!!!

i'm trying hard to trust Gege in showing us more about Megumi as he "re-negotiates this new philosophy about himself." cause i think, if not before, now this process is even more inevitable.

"I personally love how Gege has gone out of his way to show how immature Megumi is compared to other characters who share the same trope." yes!!!! that's a huge part of why i am so invested in Megumi. with the first glimpses of his philosophy about the world and himself, in the very beginning of the manga, i thought "damn you'll really have to reconfigure all of this and it. will. be. painful. and i'm here to see you deeply change your way of thinking - growing. bc it will be for the best, and it is inevitable".

i LOVED the list you made about the aspects you want to see Megumi grow in. really good!!!!

"I want to see him get pissed off, like really pissed off and fed up with his fate, and I want to see how that changes him and what he makes of it." shit. this is IT!!!

"And then maybe perhaps come to realize, once again, that he can't manipulate others because they too have a free will of their own." this is really hard, coming to terms with our limitations in regards to our own power... can be tough. it is tough. but once we realize it, it also starts to work the other way around: we too have a free will of our own, that's why we can say "fuck this fate", i'll make the best of it with what i can do, and i won't have to be alone through it.

"I may be projecting here but... Megumi's manipulative tendencies and the way he relates to others, it feels like it comes from a place in which his inner-child has not learned that it does not need to do anything to fulfill his need to be loved. Megumi is beloved, and its a real tragedy that he hasn't figured that out about himself." i... i actually cried hard reading this, thank you so much for your reply, jt really means the world to me, all of it, thank you so much for reading my ask and taking your time, your words and analysis are really powerful and much needed!!! this was a blessing to read, thank you thank you 🙌🙌🙌 !

ps: have you seen/read Monster? yesterday i cried watching this really good scene where the main character - who i think shares a lot of personality traits with Megumi, despite the huge differences - is told by an old man about how he lost the blessing of being close to this forest's birds after killing someone there. a bird lands in the main character's arm and the old man gets really emotional, and promises the bird that there won't ever be blood spilled in the forest again. Monster deals a lot with themes like saving/killing people too... xxx!

hola hola ♥️!

aaaaaah, te escribo en español por que sé que de una manera u otra me entiendes aunque sea un poco. Que linda! Obrigado por tus comentarios tan bonitos 🥺. Me da gusto saber que mis palabras tuvieron algún impacto en ti.

Ok back to English because even though Portuguese is very similar to Spanish I don't want to confuse you more lol.

My reply to you under the cut...

i think Megumi creates this *illusion* to himself that he has the power to both save and decide who should be saved, and i can relate to that. at the same time, he doesn't seem to deem himself worthy of saving, disregarding his own life many times

oh I love this observation about Megumi *thinking* he has the power to save others. It's like trying to grasp at air or water truly.

Also, the fact that Megumi does not look after himself is one of the most tragic things about him.

which one of these, "bad" or "good", is he (to himself)? what does Megumi think he is worthy of, what does he think he deserves in his life?

I'd say he doesn't think he's worthy of anything good?

This is why I love Megumi--as a character he's a great example of a clinical application of Psychology. A kid who is abandoned is likely to grow up with a very similar mindset as Megumi.

and i can see him going through *the tip* of this process, specifically after his first killing in the culling games, when he asks himself "what am i doing?".

Megumi is an interesting character to me because he, literally and figuratively, represents the Jungian shadow. Basically, his character is a repository for everything we don't like and deny about ourselves.

A theme that has been consistent in Megumi's character is the dichotomy between good and evil and how he rejects both aspects in himself.

Also, not sure if you've noticed how people only see Megumi's actions during the Culling Game as "self-preservation". To me, this is trying to justify his actions with logic because fandom can't fathom Megumi is anything other than a good person.

Truly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So I love what you've said here because it shows Megumi growing from coming to terms with the extremes within him and acknowledging what he did wasn't exactly good or bad.

i actually cried hard reading this

ah! totally did not mean to make you cry, my bad. But yeah... very relatable, isn't it?

The wound at the core of existence...

thank you so much for reading my ask and taking your time, your words and analysis are really powerful and much needed!!! this was a blessing to read, thank you thank you 🙌🙌🙌 !

🫣 you're so kind and I too am grateful for your kind words to me. Thank you for reading my nerderies. I am grateful to know anyone ever finds them powerful and much needed. Makes me want to continue writing. I like the idea of being able to help others have moments of insight about their own nature through my words.

Kind of interesting how I am a Jungian author... just about anime and manga loooool.

ps: have you seen/read Monster?

I have not! I think ma 🍒 has? I gotta ask her because she keeps mentioning an old manga that she loves and finds very impactful. Might add it to my ever growing, never ending queue of manga to read.

OBRIGADO again for all the kind words and for reaching out! Hope to continue hearing from you 🙏🏼.

[theheroheart]

"The Third Eye" from 2014-2016. It's Norwegian.

Enjoy a cheesy over-dramatic trailer. And slightly more low-key trailers for season 1 and season 2. All subtitled in English. (Warnings for blood and shooting violence and some brief shower sex.)

It's pretty classic tropey plot. Detective's 5 year old daughter was kidnapped several years ago and he can't let go, and still wants to find out what happened to her. Then he starts having visions that help him solve crimes, which feature his daughter. So he has to use those to find out what happened to her.

Season 2, he's found her and laid her to rest, and he's now working with organised crime division, but the visions are getting worse, making him act erratically and react to stuff that isn't there. (While trying to solve murders related to drug smuggling.)

And detective guy is that kind of prickly, hyper-determined guy who with no self-preservation, who can never admit something's wrong or that he's in pain or that he needs help. ("I'm fine" he says while bleeding great amounts over a sink.) But he's also super competent and smart and protective and kind and loving and such a dad™. But also so full of pain.

Anyway it's my jam.

[thetaoofbetty]

anon, i'm putting your ask after the cut since it was pretty long:

BAs being mad about last episode is really funny because i genuinely don’t know what they expected from the show. they are mad because "they don’t have romantic scenes" but they never did. BA has never been platonically or romantically developed, they were used as a plot to get drama when they ran out of conflicts for the show or reasons to keep the ship wars invested.

—agree. i think they built up what they thought b/a would be in their heads over 4+ seasons of waiting for it. even over the years, talking down to bugheads and varchies about how their ship would be superior when it finally happened since it's "meant to be." that the show used them for drama was perceived as a slowburn instead of the every so often plot device it really was.

i'm not even calling it a plot device as an insult, it's just the nature of what the show has used it as? i'm sitting through gilmore girls again and how often did christopher show up to cause havoc in lorelai's relationships before it finally turned into something more for real? and then it ended for good when they realized they really don't work together. we've seen the trope and plot over and over again in plenty of media for a reason, right? it causes drama.

they never had a stable, constant relationship. S5 gave them dust, a relationship full of sex and zero depth or emotional connection. jug was the person betty went for support with polly – archie was ready to leave her and come back to veronica and took her again the moment she wasn’t available again.

—remember when they harassed us for talking about how there might have been contact between bughead over the 7 years when it was obvious that b/a would have gotten together over the time jump and have been dating for years and we were dumb? because i do.

vale didn’t give them the happy content they were promised which is why they have been trying to downplay the BH scenes on 605 and their significance as platonic.

—who promised them that tho? evan might have raised their expectations but they decided that the whole thing was going to be exactly what they wanted it to be on their own. the nature of the event was clear from the trailer. roberto inadvertently admitted they changed things to accommodate the event. if anything they should be happy the vale happened since without it, they probably wouldn't be getting what they're getting now. we told them it wasn't going to be what they thought it would be but "ras said it wasn't an au!!!"

they've always downplayed everything about bughead or varchie. it's like when the j/eronicas used to say the scene in 1x02 where the camera pans from betty to jughead and it all comes into focus was jughead looking at veronica. there's not quite getting or liking the subtext and then there's sticking your fingers in your ears and holding your breath until what you don't like goes away.

they are now scared and lashing out because the characters having deja vu of vale can meant the inevitable. they are seeing the things we are seeing – jug saving betty, knowing what will happen etc is going to come eventually, the writers not giving BA any substance except scenes for plot exposition and is killing them, but what kills them the most is that the scenes are being shared with jug and veronica of all people. archie not caring if betty leaves to find a serial killer. deep down i think they were hoping for bh level scenes but they aren’t getting them and are mad about it.

—i'll be honest and say i was expecting some sort of relationship development for the newer couples and am a little surprised we got nothing before the plot divergences. sure, there have been episodes where neither betty and jughead or veronica and archie have spoken, even while dating, but when they first started, there was a good bit of focus on them establishing their relationships. none of these ships got that. i totally get why they'd be mad. and yeah, going by the asks i get sometimes, they want b/a to be bughead so badly but that's not who they are. you wanted b/a? you got it. this is what the show decided they are. harassing other shippers when you're mad at the writing choices is still a dick move tho.

those ships aren’t getting any type of romantic development, they are being paid dust in the most clear way: they won’t last. they are insecure about lili/kj speaking on them on past sense and deep down they know ras is not that insane to throw a baby and a wedding for season 6, is not happening, they are being deceived. this is why they were so insecure about the renewal because they thought they had it in the bag for a S6 series finale.

—that and i think they're very annoyed bughead/varchie theories have been more on point than their own for the last season and a half. they spend more time taking screenshots of people just having fun theorizing than they do talking about their own ship. that is together. that they waited years for. why are they worried about what we're doing? our ships aren't even together and i think we're having more fun than they are watching it. it's not our fault they made a timelined checklist for the season and it's not happening. no one ever promised them that any of their theories were what was going to happen.

we've always said they should actually watch the show. i still think that's solid advice for a lot of them, tbh.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Love Poison 2 Ep 3 - incomprehensible plot, confusing characters, terrible audio, I’m dropping this one. 

Second Chance Ep 2 - they are my adorable babies and I LOVE THEM. Must protect Jeno at all cost. Chris, come on, boy needs you. (They’re the jock/nerd pair.) Then there’s the friend-to-lovers (Paper & Fah) and cafe cute boys (M & Near). We got artful injury tending (finger & lip) and some jealousy or something. Is the script good? Hell no. Is anything happening? Nope. But I’m INVESTED in the nothingness. 

Lovely Writer Ep 7 - mostly set in the past, but the child actors they got were decent. I actually liked how they explained Sib’s behavior (I mean losing your BFF + figuring out you’re gay at the same time gotta mess with your head). We got touch my lip, carry baby to bed, let’s sleep facing, face touch, hair touch, and a hand kiss as well as The Kiss. With so many intimacy and caring tropes, I’m well pleased.  BONUS: NO SOUND EFFECTS. Please make then have fired the sound tech. OHPLEAESEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 1 - I like it. Might as well break the 4th wall if you’re gonna do a voice over. Some super cringy moments but I think that’ll improve post makeover. Yet again we have a BL poking fun at its own tropes. 2021 is definitely the year of meta. Oh and Phuwin’s English is really good. 

Call It What You Want Ep 1-2 - it’s slow and more arty than I expected. The actor playing the main character looks eerily like Up (Gene in Lovely Writer) + an ex of mine - it’s disconcerting. 

Brothers Ep 10 - my two got together and ARE ADORABLE. I actually really like how they dealt with Khun’s seme ownership freak out. That’s some sexy communicating, boys! So many couples (and triads) I’m well confused, but I only love KhunKaow so no one else matters.  

Y-Destiny Ep 2 - cute, bit raunchy, kinda fun, about a million tropes in one tiny ep. I’m getting So Much in Love meets something from Strongberry. No bad thing... no real good thing either. But I was expecting a lot worse. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 4 (AKA Ep 7-8) - I don’t wanna blog about it. I can’t even think about it. I’m still gonna keep watching it. Conclusion? I’m trash. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 22-24 - Wen is as much as a drama queen as Gene (in his own special way). Most of his past is now revealed plus obligatory bathing scene. (Is Gong Jun contractually obliged to be topless in all his dramas or is it just for the good of the planet? Asking for a friend.) A good 60% of the time I have no idea what is going on (so many names! who is this Lovelace putz allasudden?) but I don’t care cause they so pretty. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 3 - didn’t drop this week, or was it only 2 episodes? I’m so confused. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - It’s GREAT, they’re great, everyone’s great, the world is great. So pleased to get Shu Yi and his dad talking Japanese. I love it when Taiwan makes use of bilingual actors (see Because of You) almost as much as them flexing their marriage equality muscles. The full circle pool kiss was adorable and this series is officially a favorite. (@heretherebedork your boys don’t end unhappily but they don’t get an HEA either, everyone else does. I think you’d be okay with this one.) 

Stand Alones 

Tell the World I Love You (Thai BL movie) released into theaters? Or not? Haven’t heard anything about it. 

Breaking News 

Bite Me got a full trailer and it looks GOOD. Mark Siwat seems to be carrying this one, which is fine, we all know he can (especially if you’ve seen his non-LBC stuff). Quality controls seem relatively high, although this may only be a fund-raising trailer. No eng subs at last check but I’m disposed to be hopeful. It feels like we are in Oxygen territory and that was one of my favorites last year. 

You’re My Sky dropped what they’re calling an “official pilot.” No eng subs. I think this is a tester trailer to raise funds. MDL listing makes this sound like a standard college BL, but trailer portrays a sports romance. Stars almost-familiar new faces from Y-Destiny. It’s like we have a new crop of BL actors chomping at the bit to take over from MaxTul or MewGulf, and with the 91 line aging out*, maybe they aren’t wrong? 

* Don’t crawl into my craw, they’ve most of ‘em said they don’t wanna keep doing BL after turning 30 and frankly, why should they? 

Gossip 

Nitiman dropped BTS from their publicity shoot. No eng subs. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Spring Line Up:

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22.

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu

I joined MDL under this handle AbsoluteBL. Find me there if you like, currently it’s just ratings, tracking, & three lists: 

Japanese BL & Live Action Yaoi Manga

Korean BL

Taiwanese BL