#but I feel like those are some that need to be heard right off the bat

[moonsgemini]

kinda sorry - firefighter!rafe

-

summary: After months of a cat & mouse game Rafe finally gets his favorite waitress alone. He doesn’t even care if it’s at his place of work.

warning: 18+, firefighter!rafe x waitress!reader, fem reader, SMUT! these people are freaks!! dirty talk, oral, cum play & eating (I’m so sorry?), praise kink, fingering, cursing, p in v

an: hiiiii this is so smutty I actually need to repent my sins. I promise I’m working on the next part of cherry wine I just cannot figure out how to end it so in the mean time enjoy another firefighter rafe fic. Does it kinda suck ? yeah.

-

You wiped the same spot on the counter for the fifth time as you looked at the clock on the wall behind you. It was already fifteen past seven and they weren’t here yet. You were starting to get antsy. They always showed up at seven like clock work and you hadn’t seen them leave for a call. No flashing lights and loud sirens had been heard or seen.

God you felt pathetic. When did your life come this?

Pining over a hot firefighter who worked across the street and probably only acknowledges your existence for free slices of pie and haphazard flirting. He was so handsome you’d let him flirt with you for free pie any time. You really did feel pathetic, but it had been a long time since a very attractive man made your palms sweat and stomach flutter. Even if there was a chance it was all just out of boredom on his end.

When that hope in your chest that they’d come began to diminish you looked up one more time, just in case. That’s when you spotted the group men walking out of the fire station across the street. A smile involuntarily appeared on your lips. Your favorite part of the week finally arrived.

You’ve been working at Penny’s since high school so you were familiar with the little routine the men across the street carried on. You had grown up with most of the guys having known them since you were a teenager. A couple of them now even being your old classmates. Except for him.

Rafe had started a few months ago and you hadn’t stopped thinking about him since his first visit to Penny’s. It was rare to see a handsome face like his in this small town. It was rare to see a new face period.

You spotted him right away. He could surprisingly pull off the buzzcut and mustaches always did something for you. He was tall with big arms, how could anyone not like him.

From behind the register you watch through the windows as he laughed at something one of the other guys said rubbing his hand over his mustache. A habit you noticed he had. God did he look as handsome as ever. You wanted to know what his mustache felt like against the skin of your neck and against your inner thighs.

The bell above the door rang as the group of men walked into the small diner. You pretended to be busy by wiping the spot next to the one that you had spent the last fifteen minutes on. Doing your best to seem nonchalant like you hadn’t been anticipating their arrival all day by staring out the windows. You would never do something like that.

You looked up and smiled at the familiar faces welcoming them in. They greeted you as they walked to their usual booth in the corner.

Rafe was the last to walk in giving you a smirk and a small nod as he passed. His navy blue tee shirt fit tightly over his chest and biceps. Always a sight for sore eyes. You were practically drooling, you wanted to bite him. Wanted to feel his big hands all over your skin.

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath feeling your cheeks get hot. You needed to push those thoughts away or you’d do something embarrassing. Brushing your hands on your apron you approached them, pulling out your favorite pen and sticker covered order book.

You may or may not have put a little more effort into your appearance today. For no particular reason of course, but if he was going to flirt with you then you might as well play into it. At least that’s what you told yourself when you applied lashes and added some blush to your cheeks.

“Hey guys, what can I get you all to drink?” You asked once standing in front of the table as if they didn’t order the same thing every time.

“I’ll take a coffee my dear,” Captain Morales said smiling. He’s known you for years now and looked out for you as if you were his own daughter.

Rafe was last to order. That smirk making it’s way to his lips again, “I’ll take a coffee y/n,” His eyes lingered on your glossy lips. Little did you know that he was thinking about how he could just eat you up.

As his eyes raked over you face he didn’t miss the red tinge in your cheeks. He’d do anything to make it an even deeper red. Specifically have you blushing profusely under him or even on top of him. Then he started to think about you bent over and ready for him.

“Coming right up!” You said sweetly before heading off to get the coffees breaking whatever trance he was in.

-

Wednesday’s had become Rafe’s favorite day of the week. Not only was it technically his friday but he got to see his favorite girl. He always thinks about the first time he saw you. You were arguing with a customer who thought their expired coupon should still be valid. He watched as the guy threw his soda at you and before him or any one else could step in you punched the guy in the nose and dragged him out by his collar. The idiot cradling his nose bleeding nose.

That has been the hottest thing Rafe had ever witnessed.

“Now it’s free! Never come back dick head!” You yelled at him as you stomped back into the diner. After spending a few minutes in the back changing into a tee shirt you had in your locker you went to their table. Your tough demeanor had vanished and you held a soft smile on your face. That’s when he knew he was fucked.

-

Y/n walked back behind the counter to grab mugs and the coffee pot. You knew you’d probably have to make another fresh pot after serving them. Your best friend, Grace, had returned from her break and was wiping menus staring at the table of men.

“Matt looks so good. If we don’t get laid by these hot men we need to quit and become nuns,” Grace said quietly as she eyed the firefighter she’s had her eye on since he moved to town a few years ago.

Y/n snorted, “I’ve given up on mine. It’s been months and it’s just flirting and checking me out,” she shrugged, “Our hook ups and incredibly romantic dates will remain in my fantasies.”

“Don’t say that when I’ve been waiting a year now for mr brown eyes,” Grace huffed, “Why doesn’t he do anything. He acts like I’d say no to him.”

“You could ask him out,” You said handing her three mugs to help you take everything. Mostly so she could get closer to Matt.

She laughed dramatically, “You’re so funny Y/n! And after that I’ll call my dad since we’re saying things that are never going to happen.”

“Oh come on he could never say no to you,” You encouraged.

“Then you ask blondie out.”

You stared blankly at her.

She snorted, “That’s what I thought. Lets just continue to admire from afar so the hottest men we’ve ever seen don’t reject us.”

You followed behind her with a sigh. It’s not like you hadn’t thought about asking Rafe to hang out. It’s just that you had that nagging feeling in your chest that maybe he didn’t want to see you anywhere outside the diner. You cleared your throat to rid the anxiety that began to bubble in your stomach. You didn’t have time to over think that right now.

Grace placed one of the cups in front of Matt and he looked up at her with a shy smile, thanking her softly. They were two idiots in love.

“Are we ready to order?” You asked after filling the last mug.

“Yes ma’am,” Stanford said. One of the other older fire fighters.

It was always hard paying attention to their orders when Rafe’s ocean eyes were boring into you. He always had that affect of turning you into complete mush.

“For you Rafe?” You asked tilting your head to the side slightly.

A teasing smile pulled at his mouth, “Bacon cheeseburger with fries please.”

“No onions?”

He nodded. His pants getting a bit tight at the thought of you remembering something about him.

“You got it, I’ll put this is for you boys.” You smiled an walked away. A little extra sway to your hips hoping Rafe was watching but hoping you weren’t making a fool of yourself.

-

A slap to the back of his head got Rafe out of his trance. He ducked rubbing his head turning towards the culprit. His wonderful view of your ass ruined.

“Ow?” He muttered looking over at Miguel next to him.

“Are you just going to check her out every fucking week or are you going to do something?” He asked with a teasing tone.

Rafe ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t have time for a girl right now.”

“You’re such a fuckin liar,” Morales laughed as he sipped his black coffee.

Rafe rubbed his face, “I’m working on it okay.”

Morales smirked knowing he was getting under his skin, “You and baby face over here need to grow a pair or someone else is gonna realize how wonderful those women are and beat you to it.”

“Hey what do I have to do with this,” Matt muttered rubbing his mustache.

Miguel laughed, “Dude Grace has been pining for you for forever and don’t act like you don’t feel the same.”

His began blushing at the thought of her, “Whatever. She’s too good for me anyways.”

“Spare me the pity party Anderson and ask the woman out,” Morales said and then pointed at Rafe, “And you. Do something or don’t. Don’t string her along with whatever flirting shit you do.”

Rafe huffed, “Yeah Yeah.”

He turned to look for you tuning out whatever new conversation started between the men. He found you laughing with Grace as you both rolled napkins with silverware. He loved your laugh and your smile. It was so infectious and warm. Rafe had no idea he could feel this way towards someone.

At first it was all lust. Your attractiveness captivated him, especially knowing you didn’t put up with anyone’s shit but also still a complete sweetheart. He moved to this town because he needed a fresh start. He didn’t expect to pine after a woman who was way too good for him.

Rafe continued to watch as you walked around helping other customers. The sway of your hips made him want to grab onto them. Pull you against him as he kissed down your neck from behind. He’d love to hear your laugh as his mustache tickled your ear. He could already see how pink your cheeks would get at the dirty words he’d whisper in your ear if you let him.

You had no idea that you could have him on his hands and knees for you.

-

Captain Morales had paid for their dinner and they had gone back to the station. Of course the meal was filled with Rafe’s longing glances towards you. Some not so subtle flirting on his end, you of course didn’t do it back in front of the other guys. But when they’d al go outside to wait for the captain to pay he would linger as you wiped down their table.

That nights conversation had firmly planted that seed of hope. Hope that he’d finally pull a move on you since there was a fundraiser barbecue at the station this weekend. Obviously you would be there because you would never miss an opportunity to support your community. It had nothing to do with the fact that Rafe was going to be there.

“You’re coming this weekend right? Or do they have you working?” He had asked with a smirk.

You shook your head with a teasing smile, “Not working, don’t worry I’ll be there.”

“Good.”

“Good?” You teased tilting your head a little in a questioning manor.

He nodded, “I’d be bored without my favorite girl.”

You huffed a flustered laugh, “You mean server?”

He shook his head, “I meant what I said.”

-

Rafe watched as you laughed with Mrs.Garcia about something as you helped pass out desserts. It had been almost three hours since the fundraiser started and he had gotten to talk to you only a handful of times.

He was put on grill duty and you had been pulled in all directions by people. Rafe liked the small town atmosphere of the place and it was one of the reasons why he was glad he got hired at that station, but now he was starting to hate it. Why did everyone have to know you and take you away from him.

You were just as disappointed as him. Every time you would try and make your way to the grill someone would pull you to help with something or the kids would want you to watch their dance routine they made up. You could feel his eyes on you and when you looked back at him he’d smirk. That stupid devilish handsome smirk.

The sun had begun to set and people were starting to clear out. You looked around and found Rafe helping take down all of the tables and put away chairs. Being ordered around by Captain Morales. You sighed, maybe you and Rafe were always meant to just have flirty banter. Nothing more.

You didn’t want to wait around until he was free again and you didn’t want to bother him so you accepted your fate. Before you left you wanted to use the restroom so you made your way into the firehouse.

Once Rafe was done helping clean up he looked around for you. He didn’t see you anywhere. His chest filled with disappointment as to how the night went. He thought this would be his chance to talk to you outside your job and maybe even take you home. His disappointment was clear on his face as he continued to look around as if you’d come out of thin air any moment.

Beside him someone cleared their throat, “She went inside a couple minutes ago,” Captain Morales said.

Rafe looked over at him with furrowed brows, “huh?”

“Your girl. She’s inside. Now hurry before you miss your chance,” He nodded towards the open door.

Rafe laughed, “How do you even-“

“Son you two look at each other like you both hung the moon I’d be an idiot to not know. Now please go get her I don’t want to have to deal with your attitude later if you miss your chance.”

Rafe nodded his head with a wide smile, “Yes sir.”

He made his way into the firehouse to look for you. Hopefully you hadn’t slipped by him. As he turned the corner to where the restrooms were he found you standing looking at some pictures hanging on the wall.

He stood there for a minute just admiring you. Your soft cheeks and long lashes. Your long smooth legs in that sundress that looked a bit too short and tight on you. It made something in his stomach stir. He cleared his throat to gain your attention.

Your head snapped towards him. Eyes widening in surprise, you weren’t expecting him. Rafe walked over to stand by you and see what you were staring at. It was a picture of the whole station. Then a picture of him and a couple other guys.

“Staring at me huh?” He asked with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes playfully, “You wish Cameron.”

“I do.” He turned to look at you. That dreamy look in his eyes, “You almost got away from me today.”

You laughed softly, “Sorry. I was trying to come up to you but you know how it is.”

He nodded, “That’s the unfortunate thing about liking a girl everyone loves. You couldn’t help the hear that creeped up your neck at his confession.

He didn’t let you say anything as he continued, “Guess that just means I’ll need to take you out on a date to get you alone.”

You let out a surprised huff, “Oh yeah? Well we’re alone right now.” You looked around making a show of it.

He smirked, “So you don’t want to go on a date with me baby?”

This man was going to be the death of you, “Of course I do. Been waiting for you to ask.”

He laughed and took a step closer to you, “Sorry it’s taken me so long. I liked that little dance we were doing, but let me make it up to you.”

Your body was on fire at everything he was saying. This man had to have been created in a lab with the way he was speaking to you. He was walking closer to you now and you took a few steps back until your back hit the wall of the hallway.

“How are you gonna do that hm?” You tried to play cool as if your pulse wasn’t racing in anticipation. Now you weren’t usually a girl that hooked up with a guy before going on a date but that was going all out the window today if Rafe wanted to have his way with you.

He reached forward and stroked your cheek with his thumb. His eyes going down to your lips. His tongue poking out to wet his bottom lip as your parted, “By fucking you.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Thighs clenching at his non filtered confession, he really was done playing the cat and mouse game. You didn’t even care. Your brain became complete mush and you would let him fuck you in this hallway right now if he wanted to.

“You gonna let me do that hm?” He asked as if he didn’t already know the answer by the way your thighs clenched and your nipples hardened underneath your dress.

You nodded slowly as if you were under a spell. Your heart was erratic as you pictured this tall handsome man fucking you in his big arms. You could cum just thinking about it.

His thumb tugged gently as your bottom lip, “Words baby come on.”

“Yes please,” You said softly.

That’s all he needed to hear before he took your hand and dragged you into the room next to you. It was one of the rooms where they came to sleep during over night shifts. It had a desk, bunk beds, and one single bed. He locked the door behind him before pushing you up against the desk. Rafe and you were panting and you hadn’t even touched each other yet.

He cupped your face in his hands and groaned, “You’re so beautiful I can’t keep my hands to myself anymore.”

“Then don’t,” You murmured in a haze as he dove in to capture your lips in his.

He groaned and moved his hands down to your waist and then to your hips. Pulling you even closer to him as you parted your mouth to let him have more access. He was everywhere and it felt so good. His tongue explored your mouth as his hands grabbed and squeezed at your body. The light whimpers and moans leaving your mouth sending him into a frenzy.

He pulled away with hazy eyes and swollen lips, “Fuck I’ve been thinking about this for long.”

You nodded your head rapidly, “Me too.” You said breathlessly. You felt like you were in a Rafe enduced trance. He moaned at the sight of your swollen lips and the strap of your dress had fallen in the haste.

He pushed you back so you were sitting on the desk now with him between your parted legs. He leaned forward and began pressing open mouthed kisses to your neck. You tilted your head back giving him more room. Your fingers tangled in his hair. Tugging when he kissed that one particular spot below your ear. He bit at your neck and you gasped as his tongue soothed the sting. You had never been so turned on in your life, and he hadn’t even touched you really.

That changed when his hands slid down your hips to your thighs. He squeezed them loving the feel of them. Rafe couldn’t wait to have them wrapped around his head, he wanted you to suffocate him. He needed you to suffocate him with your pussy.

He played with the hem of your dress as he kissed your collarbone. He was being a tease, “I thought the teasing was over.” You mumbled with hooded eyes. You wanted him to just shove the dress up and fuck you.

He chuckled against the swell of your breast that he had been peppering with kisses, “Patience sweetheart. I’ll fill you up with my cock, tongue, and fingers in no time.”

You moaned at his words as he slipped the straps of your dress down and tugged the top part down to reveal your tits. He groaned at the sight of your perked nipples and leaned down taking one in his mouth. His other hand reaching for the other and brushing his thumb over the sensitive bud.

The moans that left your mouth were pornographic. It was like you had been touched in years which was only partly true.

“Mmm you’re so sweet,” He groaned as he moved to the other one.

You sighed with pleasure, “I need you.”

He laughed softly going back to kiss you, “Don’t worry baby I’ll give you what you need.”

His big hands grabbed your hips and pulled you off the desk in a swift motion. You thought he was going to take you to the bed and finally have his way. You should have known better with him, you’re starting to get that Rafe loves the anticipation. The chase of it all because he turned you around so his chest was on your back.

You could feel him aching agains your lower back. He felt so big and your mouth watered at the thought. You barely had any time to question what he was doing when you felt him press kisses from in between your shoulders and down your back. As he did he gently pushed you down to be basically bent over the desk. Then he was kneeling behind you.

His hands stroking your thighs as they shook in anticipation. He playfully bit your butt with a small groan. Rafe pushed your dress up to rest around your waist. Almost on instinct you arched your back and pushed your hips towards him. Needing for him to do something.

“Please Rafe,” You murmured desperately.

He grinned sweetly, “You sound so pretty asking nicely baby.” He reached his hand down to lightly stroke you over your underwear.

You gasped at the minimal contact. Then he was fully rubbing circles onto your clit. The wet patch at your center growing. He pulled your cheeks apart as he dove in and pressed wet kisses to your clothes pussy.

“Fuck,” He groaned, “Let me have a taste yeah?”

You whined. Literally whined, “Please Rafey please please.” You never thought you could be this desperate for a man. You could feel his smirk against your cunt.

He slid your panties to the side and dove in like a starved man. You gasped in surprised not expecting him to go all in since he had been teasing so much, but you’d thank God every day for it. You already knew you’d be thinking about his mouth for the rest of your life.

Rafe’s tongue massaged your clit in the best way and with the position his nose nudged at your entrance. His hands reached up to grab a handful of your ass and squeeze making you moan louder.

The room was filled with the sounds of his sucking and lapping as well as your whines. His hand then came down to slap one cheek. A motion that made you push yourself against his mouth even more.

Rafe would be a happy man if this is the way he went out. Drowning in your pussy. Your juices dripping down his chin as he mercilessly worked his tongue over you. The groans he let out adding to the pleasure.

Pressure built up in your lower stomach as that knot of pleasure tightened. You had never gotten so close so fast besides with your own hand. The way this man was lapping you up had your legs shaking.

“Yes Rafe!” You exclaimed, “Gonna cum!”

Your head flew back as your eyes shut in pleasure. The white hot euphoric feeling of your orgasm taking over.

“Mhmmm,” He groaned as he continued to lick and suck, “Fuck baby so good.” He mumbled as he continued his ministrations prolonging the intense feeling.

He pulled away once he had cleaned you up of everything you gave him, “Such a messy girl huh,” He mumbled as he pulled your hair so your back was against his chest again. Your head tilted back onto his shoulder. Rafe had a way with words, it had your mind in a haze.

He moved his hand to cup your face and tilt it towards him even more so he could capture your lips in his. The kiss was sloppy and so hot.

You pulled away slightly and mumbled against his lips, “Please please fuck me Rafey.”

He but his lip and groaned, “Of course baby anything you want.”

You expected him to shove his pants down and stuff his cock in you but you should have known him better. He spun you around so your back was pressed to the desk again. He tapped on the back of your thighs to get you to sit on it again and as you did he mumbled, “So obedient.”

The scene in front of him looked so vulgar. You were sat at the desk with your dress bunched around your stomach. All the delicious parts Rafe wanted to dive into exposed. He took a mental picture to remember it even though this definitely wouldn’t be the last time he’d have his way with you.

You reach out for him and tugged at his shirt wanting it off. He smirked as he took the hint and pulled it off. The sight of his toned chest and broad arms had you gushing all over again.

“We should be quick now before they come looking,” He muttered as he began to undo his belt. He pulled his pants and boxers down to rest around his ankles. His cock on full display for you and you bit your lip as you took in the sight. Glassy eyes widening at the size, you had never seen one like that.

He tugged at it a few times to relieve the tension. The way you were looking at him was making his ego grow, and Rafe didn’t really need that.

Grabbing where your knees crease he pushed your legs up so your feet were almost flat on the desk. Your core glistening and on display for him.

“Fuck I can’t wait to be in that nice wet pussy,” He couldn’t away. He let you hold yourself up now as he grabbed himself and began sliding his tip through your folds. You let out small whimpers at the feeling. Then rubbed it over your clit, making you even wetter.

Rafe was having the time of his life. You felt so good against him he never wanted to stop. The way your nipples perked and your eyes practically watered in pleasure.

“You’re so wet baby,” He slipped the tip into your entrance, “mmmph feel s’good huh.” He smirked cockily as he pushed himself in deeper and deeper.

Your brows furrowed in pleasure as he stretched you deliciously. His thumb finding your clit and rubbing soft circles. Your head fell back with a sigh as he bottomed out.

He leaned forwards and kissed you softly as he started moving. You both moaned as he pushed back in hitting that sweet spot. He pulled away and leaned down to take a nipple in his mouth. Sucking and gently tugging.

Your hands were tangled un his short locks. As his movements grew faster and harder your hands moved all over. His shoulders, chest, back anywhere you could touch. Your nails leaving crescents in his skin as he continued to mumble obscenities into your ear.

‘so good baby’ ‘the most perfect pussy’ ‘my good girl letting me fuck her so well’

The feeling of euphoria increasing as he continued. Rafe groaned as he felt you tighten around him. He was regretting one thing right now and that was waiting this long to fuck you.

“M’close Rafe,” You whined as that familiar feeling spread throughout your body.

“I know,” He panted and started working faster, “Cum for me baby come on. I know you can do it.”

His encouragement helped your release. As he felt you orgasm and tighten around him he neared the edge of his own orgasm.

“Need you to cum in me,” You mumbled as he milked you for all you had.

His eyes rolled back at your statement, “Fuuuck.” Then his hips snapped into you a few more times before he released inside you coating your walls in his cum. It felt so good to have him stuffed inside you. His head resting on your chest as he groaned. After a few minutes of your labored breaths Rafe slowly pulled out. The loss of him causing you to whimper and he just smirked.

You thought you guys were done but then Rafe looked down and slipped two fingers inside you.

“Oh Rafe,” You gasped, “W-what are you doing?”

He bit his lip as he continued to watch his fingers pump in and out slowly, “Feeling how well you took all my cum baby.”

Then as if he couldn’t be hotter and dirtier he removed his fingers and his cum was all over them. He took them and began rubbing it over your clit. The overstimulation made your toes curl and your mouth fall open.

The scene in front of him was so filthy and will be on constant reply for the rest of his life. The entire last hour he would be thinking about that forever.

He removed his fingers and you reached out grabbing his wrist to tug the fingers into your mouth. Licking and sucking his fingers clean.

“Dirty girl,” He mumbled as you pulled them out with a pop.

He leaned in and kissed you softly, no more lust behind it. It was something else now. Rafe helped you fix your dress and pull your underwear back on after he pulled his pants back up.

“I’m kind of sorry I didn’t take you out first but I also don’t regret it because I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you for months,” Rafe said as you fixed your ruffled hair.

You smiled at him, “I’m not at all. You can still take me out and we can do that all over again.”

A loud banging on the door made you jump and rafe whip his head around.

“You guys done yet? I need a nap,” one of the other guys yelled through the door.

Your face paled at the realization that you might now have been very quiet. Rafe just laughed, “One minute!”

“Oh god. I need to quit my job and move towns now,” You put your hands on your face in embarrassment.

Rafe laughed and kissed the back of your hands that covered your face, “Nuh uh. Not running from me now.”

[flameblade3]

You’ve been at this for a while- years. Hundreds of happy couples made under your guidance. You’ve learned a few things over the years, some people don’t have those threads yet. Maybe for infants they’re just not born yet, or for others maybe something needs to change in their future soulmate before they would be ready. You’ve seen people holding hands while each of their strings runs off in different directions. You swear you’ve seen a few people whose soulmates switch almost every week. Even asexual or aromantic people had one, they simply led them to someone who would be special to them, content to live with but no need to love. After all, no one truly wants to be alone. But one thing always remained the same… they had one. You waited and waited and waited, but you never were able to see those strings wrapped around your own fingers like everyone else’s. Leading soulmates together always had a rather violently bittersweet taste, knowing that you might never get to feel that same sweet sensation that they must all get when they realize how well things worked out. One day, a rather simple looking lady walked through your business’s door also without strings attached to her fingers. You were shocked

“Excuse me,” she started, “I heard this would be the place where people can always find their special someone?” She asked

You gave your usual business monologue: “well you heard correct! Here we have a near 100% success rate that every person we guide to another will live their happily ever after.”

The woman chuckled, you raised an eyebrow, “it’s funny,” she laughed again, you felt something in your chest, “I did the same thing for so many others back home, but could never find someone for me.”

Your heart skipped a beat. It was late so no one else was in the building. “Ma’am, could you come to the desk, please?” You asked, trying to hide the frantic tone in your voice

“Ah, of course!” She came forward

You leaned in and asked “can you see strings on people’s fingers that lead them to others?” Trying to sound as serious as possible so she knows you’re not joking

“Wh- I,” she stammered, “how did you know!?”

“Because I can do the same thing. And no matter how long I waited… I could never see strings on my own hands, and I can’t see them on your’s”

She was dead silent for a moment, she kept glancing between your hand, your face, and her hands. “Oh my… you’re right… I don’t believe it!”

“Well, it’s almost closing time for me, so how about I make you my last client for the day. Would you care to go for a walk? The travel must have been long and my desk is rather cramped. Plus, I know a really good place to grab dinner around here.” You stood up and held out your hand, she took it with a soft shake. Her hands were softer than you expected, she took better care of herself than her other features let on.

The two of you left your business as you locked up the building and began your walk, both of you hopeful that maybe, finally, you found your special someone.

Some say that an invisible red string is tied around the fingers of soulmates meant to be together forever. As it turns out, you can see these red strings, and have therefore created a highly successful matchmaking business.

[hvnyrt]

Request: Jason is surprisingly affectionate in private

JASON TOOD X GN! READER

SUMMARY: You're tired, Jason takes care of you

WARNINGS: None, enjoy!

WC: 1.4k 

The door to your apartment closed softly behind you as you stepped inside, your body feeling heavy with the weight of the day. Gotham’s chaos had seeped into everything—into your bones, into your mind. You were physically and emotionally drained, barely able to summon the energy to hang your coat or kick off your boots. The city had a way of exhausting you, of leaving you with nothing to give. It had been one of those weeks—long hours, too much stress, too many things left undone.

But when you entered your living room, you didn’t expect to find him here. Jason Todd. You didn’t even know he was coming over.

He was sprawled out on your couch, leaning back with one leg draped over the side, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at his phone. There was a mug of coffee on the table in front of him, untouched, cooling. The lights were low, casting a soft glow that made the apartment feel more like a refuge than the outside world ever could.

You paused for a moment, not wanting to disturb him—until you noticed the way his posture changed when he heard you enter. His eyes flicked up from his phone, a flicker of surprise crossing his face, quickly replaced by something softer, more concerned.

"Long day?" he asked, his voice quiet, low, the usual edge replaced by a gentler tone.

You nodded, dropping your things in the entryway with a tired sigh. “It’s been a week,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes. “I’m... exhausted.”

Jason didn’t respond right away. He just looked you over, his eyes narrowing slightly as he registered the exhaustion on your face, the way your shoulders sagged in defeat. He was used to seeing people at their worst, but he wasn’t used to seeing you like this. Not like this.

“Come here,” he said, his voice no longer playful but soft, almost commanding in the way he said it.

You glanced at him, too tired to argue, and slowly made your way over to the couch. Jason shifted, sitting up straighter, making space beside him. Without saying anything, he reached out and pulled your legs onto his lap, arranging them carefully like he was afraid you might pull away, like he was trying to be gentle with you in a way he wasn’t always.

“Sit,” he repeated, this time with a soft insistence, as if his only goal was to make sure you found some comfort.

You hesitated for only a moment before sitting down next to him, sinking into the couch. He gave you a small, almost imperceptible smile before grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and draping it over both of you. The weight of it was comforting, the fabric soft and warm. His arm naturally settled around your shoulders, pulling you closer, a silent invitation to rest against him.

"You’re too stubborn," he muttered, more to himself than to you, but the words were gentle, like a small reprimand for not taking better care of yourself. His fingers rubbed at the back of your neck, slow and soothing. "You push yourself too hard. You need to slow down."

You leaned your head against his chest, letting out a soft breath, feeling the warmth of his body seep into yours. The exhaustion was still there, but now it felt distant. For the first time all day, you didn’t feel like you had to be on alert. With him beside you, the weight of everything seemed lighter.

“I don’t know how to stop sometimes,” you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. “I just keep going. Even when I’m running on empty.”

Jason didn’t say anything for a while. Instead, his hand moved from your neck to your back, rubbing in slow, comforting circles as if trying to ease away the tension that had built up over the course of the week. You could feel the softness in his touch, the way he wasn’t rushing to do anything—just being present.

“You don’t have to do it alone, you know.” His words were quiet but firm. "Let me take care of you for once. Let me help."

You swallowed, your throat tight at the unexpected vulnerability in his voice. It wasn’t often that Jason opened up like this. He had walls, thick and impenetrable, built from years of hurt. But tonight, he seemed to be letting those walls fall, just a little.

His hand slid down your arm, pulling you even closer to him, until your head was tucked under his chin. The rhythm of his breath steadied yours, and you felt something in your chest—something warm and soft—begin to unfold.

“You’re always the one taking care of everyone else,” Jason said, his voice barely a whisper. “But you deserve to be taken care of too. I’m not going anywhere. Let me help.”

You closed your eyes, trying to push away the tightness that had settled in your chest, the overwhelming feeling that had accompanied the last few days. But his touch, the heat of his body against yours, seemed to make the anxiety fade away, leaving only calm in its wake.

“Thank you,” you murmured, not sure if you were thanking him for the moment of peace, or for his willingness to show up when you least expected it. But the gratitude was there, unspoken but felt all the same.

Jason didn’t respond. Instead, he reached over and grabbed your tea mug from the side table, gently pressing it into your hands. “Drink. It’ll help you relax.”

You took the mug, the warmth of the tea seeping into your cold hands. You sipped it slowly, savoring the way it warmed you from the inside. Jason sat quietly beside you, his fingers still tracing small, comforting patterns on your arm as he watched you. There was no rush, no pressure to talk, to be anything other than what you were in that moment. He was giving you space to breathe, to let go.

As the tea worked its magic, you felt the tension begin to melt away. Your eyelids grew heavy, your body sinking deeper into the couch as Jason adjusted, his body angling closer to yours.

“Lie down,” he said softly, shifting you slightly so you were resting more comfortably on the couch. “You need sleep. You need to rest.”

You didn’t argue. It was too much to argue with him when you felt this good—when his care wrapped around you like a blanket, giving you the comfort you’d been lacking.

He rearranged the pillows behind your head, making sure you were propped up just enough. His hand was never far from you, always resting somewhere on your body, as though he couldn’t quite stop touching you. He wasn’t smothering you, though. It was a subtle, gentle thing—just enough to reassure you that he was there.

You closed your eyes, your body relaxed in a way you hadn’t felt in days. The weight of the world was slowly lifting, and with Jason beside you, you felt safe.

“You don’t have to do anything,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “I’ll be here. Just sleep.”

You nodded, too tired to say anything more. His hand shifted again, this time moving to your cheek, brushing a stray hair away as he gently cupped your face in his palm. His thumb traced over your skin, soft and slow, and for a moment, it felt like he was taking in every detail of you—every part of you that had been worn down, that needed healing.

And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Jason leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. The touch was tender, almost reverent, and when he pulled away, you could feel the gentle brush of his breath against your skin.

“Sleep,” he whispered again, the words a soothing balm.

Your eyelids fluttered closed, and you let yourself drift into sleep, the warmth of Jason’s presence grounding you, keeping you safe in the quiet moments. As you drifted off, you could still feel the steady rhythm of his hand on your back, the softness in his touch, the care he was offering so freely. You didn’t need to say anything more. Tonight, Jason had given you what you needed most: peace, tenderness, and a reminder that you weren’t alone.

[nayedoll]

You’re all I want

joost klein x fem!reader

description: Joost and reader experience the hardships of a relationship, until their biggest fight yet— which is resolved by some much needed make-up sex

word count: 2.7k

warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut; f!receiving oral, protected piv,

───────────────────────

The moonlight creeps in through the window, your only source of light in the dark room. Not that you needed much light anyways; for the past twenty minutes you’ve been staring at the wall across from you, your thoughts filling the emptiness. All the hurtful words Joost said, all the blame he put on you; all the things you said to him, things that you didn’t mean but in the heat of the moment, didn’t care to think twice about them— it’s all there, eating you alive, digging holes into your heart.

Deep down, you know this fight was bound to happen at some point, it had to. Joost working endlessly from day to night for the past month, being gone for hours, along with your already packed schedule that never seemed to overlap with his— it had definitely created a certain tension in the air. If you were lucky enough, you’d only see him in the early mornings and late at night. Naturally, all the pressure, all your worries, the exhaustion of it all would lead you both to take it out on each other— you didn’t mean to, but after a long day, every little thing seemed to irritate you, before it turned into yet another fight.

But this— this had been your biggest fight yet. It had started out as per usual, one of you complaining about something you can’t even remember now, before in a matter of minutes, it had turned into a meaningless competition about who “works more” , who’s “more tired”, who “cares more” about the other one; it was so meaningless but so hurtful at the same time. Joost’s voice still lingers in your mind, the heavy silence in the room after he accused you of not caring about him, of not loving him. Then of course, all the awful things you said in return, trying to fix things by defending yourself but making them worse in the heat of the moment.

Joost eventually left; presumably off to the balcony to smoke a cigarette like he always does when he’s stressed out or mad. Usually, you’d leave him be and ask him about it later but now… now you know exactly why he’s upset, and to realize that you’re the reason for it makes your chest hurt. Your eyes start getting watery again as you take a deep breath to calm yourself down, when you hear a knock at the bedroom door; you don’t bother to reply, already knowing who’s the one knocking.

The door opens reluctantly, the yellowish light of the hallway peeking into the room as Joost steps in, in his grey sweatpants, the graphic hoodie you’d gotten him for his birthday that probably carries the scent of his camels now.

He stands by the door for a second, “Were you sitting in the dark this whole time?” His voice is calmer than before, strangely comforting even after everything.

You ignore his question, turning your head to gaze at the cloudy night sky out the window. Hearing him walk over to you, the bed sinking as he sits down facing you. He opens the bedside lamp with a faint click noise, painting the room in a dim yellow light.

You feel Joost caressing your thigh, immediately drawing your gaze back to him,

“You know I didn’t mean those things, right?” He gives you a weak smile, a hint of regret hidden in his eyes.

You sigh, “I don’t know. Did you?” You try to make your voice firm, but the sadness is obviously there, indicating that you’ve been crying.

“No,” He shakes his head repeatedly, as if he’s scolding himself. “No, of course not liefde,” Liefde. At least, he still calls you that— hadn’t heard it from him in what feels like forever.

You stare at him, images from your argument flashing through your mind; all the things you called him, asshole, douchebag, selfish, ungrateful— but at the end of the day, he’s still your Joost, walking into your bedroom to apologize, like a kid asking their parents to sleep in bed with them.

You purse your lips, attempting to hide the smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth. “Okay. I believe you,”

Joost also smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as he hugs you. You wrap an arm around him, stroking his back, allowing yourself to melt into his touch. “I’m sorry,” He mumbles, his lips grazing your ear as he caresses your hair, leaving another kiss to your temple.

You smile, letting out a dry chuckle. “It’s okay. I wasn’t any better either,”

His kisses don’t stop, but rather his lips wander off to your cheek, then lower to your jaw, before he’s fully kissing you again. You kiss him back slowly— it feels somewhat different, in a good way; like all the doubts and fears have left and the only thing present is pure love, just you and the Joost you fell in love with, his lips on yours.

He pulls back shortly after, leaving you to take a deep breath. “Lie down for me baby,” His tone is soft, yet compelling and you can’t help but do as he says, wordlessly leaning back onto the pillow. He slightly hovers over you, takes his shirt off in a quick motion as you stare up at him; perfection, that’s what he is to you. And it hurts to think that he doesn’t realize how much you love him, and how precious he, and this relationship is to you.

“You’re so pretty,” You say as your fingers stroke his hairy chest.

He chuckles, a shy smile gracing his lips. “Not as pretty as you,” He leans lower to kiss you, propping himself up on one hand, burying himself in your neck. There, he kisses you more, open-mouthed kisses and soft bites on your skin that are sure to stain your neck with hickeys. You sigh in pleasure, opening your legs to give him more space. Joost wastes no time as he adjusts himself atop you, until his crotch is right above yours. You can feel him through his sweatpants, his hard-on evident even over the soft fabric of your pajama shorts. Breathing deeply when the tip of his cock brushes against your crotch, an action than repeats itself, causing you both to let out a mixture of sounds that fill the room.

“Missed this,” Joost mumbles, his lips still roaming around your neck. “Missed hearing you like this,”

“I know,” You breathe out. If only he could hear your thoughts right now; he’d see how much of a toll this situation had taken on you, having him be so close to you but so far at the same time.

You feel his cock twitch, the sensation coaxing a sharp breath out of you. He raises your shirt up to your collarbones, cupping your boobs in his soft hands; his touch makes you dizzy, the way he handles your body. Wet kisses on your pulse, your moans getting louder and harder to suppress with each thrust of his body.

“Fuck,” He laughs against your neck, “Need you,” He draws back from your neck to look at you; you probably look like a dumb puppy looking up at him, unable to suppress your smile— you really did miss him that much, and now it feels so good having him this close again, almost like it’s not real.

“What?” You laugh.

“Have I told you how pretty you look today?”

A sudden heat rushes through you, a pinkish color spreading across your face. “Nah, you were too busy fighting with me for that,” You tease.

He laughs, “Fuck you,”

“That’s what I’m waiting for,” You protest.

Joost clicks his tongue before he finally pushes himself back up, now stabilizing himself on his knees on the mattress, “You horny woman,” He chastises, shaking his head in feigned disapproval as he begins to take off his sweatpants.

You stare at him wordlessly, only a soft smile lingering on your lips. He’s breathing heavily as he lowers his grey sweatpants down to his knees, before he does the same thing with this his boxers, his cock springing free.

He pats your thigh, “Let’s take these off,” You slightly lift yourself up so that Joost can slip your pajama shorts off, tossing them somewhere on the floor. Your panties feel wet, momentarily sticking to your skin as he begins to lower them down your legs, and suddenly, you’re both so exposed, yet so comfortable in each other’s presence.

“The most beautiful body,” Joost coos, a smirk tugging at his lips as he places a kiss to your belly. “And face of course,” Another kiss to your cheek.

“Oh please,” You scoff at the cheesiness, despite how much you secretly love it when he gets like this.

Joost chuckles, parting your legs a little more. He presses two fingers on your clit, gently rubbing it in circles, causing your breath to hitch. Smirking to himself as he nuzzles his face against your thighs, his hot breath on your pussy.

You take a look, the mere image of Joost snuggled up between your legs enough for you to abandon any hesitation or grudge against him.

You tousle his hair, fingers entangled between his blonde locks. His tongue teases your clit, your legs jerking at the tingling sensation before Joost hooks his arms around them, keeping them parted and steady.

“Relax,” His deep voice vibrates through your core, and you sigh; relax? Was that even possible in this scenario? Weeks of fighting, of not touching each other, and you’re supposed to relax? You feel so vulnerable, so sensitive that even a soft kiss to your clit is enough to make you squirm under him.

“Go on,” You say, your voice whiny.

A smirk tugs at his lips; you feel his tongue delve inside you, gently at first before his lips fully envelop your pussy; you watch as Joost eats you out, keeping his eyes locked in yours the entire time. Your moans get louder, quicker before you’re full-on whimpering with the way he handles you.

You tug at his hair strands, too drawn by your own pleasure to apologize for possibly hurting him. Your legs begin to shake, squeezing Joost’s head even tighter, back arching at the overstimulation; you’re close, so close actually that before you can even say anything to him, you reach your orgasm with a loud yelp. Joost persists, the lingering sensation of his mouth on you making your brain go numb.

He hums against your pussy, lapping it with his tongue one final time before he pulls back, lips glossy and his cheeks a vibrant pink; he smiles, blue eyes lighting up at the sight of you, blissed out, trying to catch your breath. Smiling because he’s the only one who can make you feel like this, bring those sweet sounds out of you, make you feel so good even after breaking your heart.

He sits his face on your stomach; now he’s the one who looks like a puppy. You chuckle, furrowing your brows,

“What is it,”

Joost’s eyes flicker to your boobs, then to your face again as he groans. “I need to fuck you,”

“So romantic,”

“Always,” He rises up from his position, reaching over to the bedside table, in hopes to find a condom in one of the drawers; lucky for you both, there’s a last one in there, tossed between other things. Joost takes the condom, using his teeth to tear the wrapper open before he slips it on.

You once again bend your knees, a new wave of arousal washing over you at the thought of what’s to come.

Joost grabs the base of his cock as he comes forward, lining himself up with your entrance, not before he swipes his shaft over your folds in a quick motion, earning a small moan from you.

“Ready?” He asks in a soft voice, thoughtful of your sensitivity.

“Yeah,”

With that, he pushes himself inside of you at a slow speed. You gasp, your back arching as his cock moves further into your core.

“Feels so good already,” His tone is low, breathy, it makes your head dizzy. He once again slowly pulls out of you, until only the tip is teasing your hole, before he sinks into you at an unprompted speed that draws a sharp moan out of both of you.

He continues the pattern, sweet nothings muttered in between each deep thrust. You can’t help the choked sobs that fall from your lips as he fucks you so perfectly, with so much care and love behind his strong grasp on your waist. One of his hands reaches up to cup your boob, softly playing with it as leans forward to press a kiss to your jaw. He feels sweaty, his shallow breaths hot against your skin.

You hear him mumble something incoherent from between your neck, slightly straining your neck to look at him. “Huh?”

He raises his head a little, propping himself up on his hands so that he’s able to look down at you,

“I love you,” He says, gritting his teeth as he picks up the pace, “I’m sorry liefde,” Guilt lingering on his voice.

You smile, “Joost it’s- it’s okay,” You breathe out, hardly getting the words out with how fast he’s thrusting his cock into you; if his words weren’t so sweet, you’d think he was mad at you given his unforgiving pace. “It’s over now,” You reassure him, kissing him sloppily.

“My baby, I love you so much,” He says in your ear, his voice strained. You embrace him, not caring about how suffocating his heavy body feels atop you. The room feels even hotter than before, the air sticking to your body like a magnet.

“Fuck Joost,” You blurt out, a loud cry slipping from your lips as he hits the most perfect spot inside of you, your climax unmistakably close. “I love you- too,”

Joost’s cock twitches, his thrusts becoming sloppier, “Yeah? Say it again baby,”

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” You repeat as you’re hit with a sudden wave of pleasure, erupting in loud moans. You squeeze your eyes shut, letting yourself ride out your high, incoherent words expressing all the love for him along the way.

Joost is breathing heavily against your neck, groaning as he uses every last bit of energy to push himself into you, the dirty sound of slapping skin filling the room. At last, he comes inside of you, his drawn out, breathy moan ringing in your ears.

He pulls out of you, before returning to hugging you. Your strenuous breaths fill the silence of the room, as you drink in your afterglow. You take this moment to cuddle him, your chin touching his hair as he lays his head on your chest, taking a moment to think.

“I’m so lucky to have you,”

A smile graces your lips, “Me too,” Playing with his hair as he plants soft kisses along your collarbone. “Please, let’s not let it get this bad again,” You whisper, caressing his cheek.

He nods, smiling softly. “Okay,” Letting his head rest on your chest again as you drown in your thoughts.

───────────────────────

tysm for readinggahhhsg… this is honestly not the best thing I’ve written, but its okay 🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️ looking back at this now, i feel like the smut should have been longer ughhh

[knavesflames]

hiii 🩷 i saw that you like raiden... i was wondering if we could have a fem!reader sucking her strap 🫣 maybe while wearing a collar & leash, and some praise from raiden?🩷 (she probably isn't good at it, but she tries!!)

- 🍰

Hi 🍰 anon!! Sorry this took literally so fucking long :( I also forgot to include the leash and the collar D: either way, reader sucking strap… yummy

Word count: 1022

Contents: reader sucks The Strap, mentions of praying, devotion to a god, yeah

Nsft utc!

For someone who meditated in isolation for 500 years, her skills in bed are.. about what you’d expect. She’s clumsy, unsure, but all she ever seems to want to do is please you. On occasion, when you request something she’s unsure she can fulfill, she orders the Shogun instead. Even though the Shogun is different, more robotic, less emotional, only saying and doing what she is programmed to, Ei watches, memorising the way she had memorised the Mosou No Hitotachi all those years ago. Of course, you’d much rather Ei do it herself, but the fact she’s a powerful god, the slayer of orobashi, means nothing when she’s alone with you.

“I do not understand your request. You want to.. suck it?” She asks softly, a tilt of her head causing her purple braid to sway gently with the movement. “I do,” you murmur, your finger gently tracing the vein on the strap she had so carefully crafted for you. Made from pure electro energy, it gave the perfect buzz when she needed it to, but only when she wanted it to. You loved it, and it gave you what you needed. Plus, the sounds you made when you were both alone in Tenshukaku sounded better than anything she had ever heard. “I think it would be fun. I think.. I don’t know. I want to try it.”

“I do not wish to hurt you, my petal. If you require the Shogun, you really must say—“ you cut her off with a firm shake of your head. You don’t want the Shogun. Quite frankly, you’re sick of the Shogun. You don’t want to look up, mid groan, only to see the puppet with its emotionless eyes. You want the woman you love, the god you worship so dearly. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t gotten on your knees in other ways for her, kneeling at the shrine and praying for unholy things. You wonder if she hears your prayers (she does. She listens with her mouth slightly open and her breath quickening, and yet, she can never do anything about it). You assume she does not. You love her anyway.

“I see. You do not wish to engage with the Shogun any longer.”

“No. I do not worship a puppet, I worship the divine being stood in front of me. Do the thing.”

“What thing?” Again, she’s confused. You sigh. You wonder why she has to be so clueless for a god so old and smart.

“Make it vibrate. I want you to feel good.” Ei’s problem is that she can’t accept pleasure. At least, not from anyone but herself. Long mediation sessions that only include thinking about the faces you make every time she hits the right spot, or kisses the right place. Watching over you with the omnipresence she so happily flaunts as you touch yourself to the thought of her (and, on occasion, being tag teamed by her and the Shogun. You’ll never ask).

“Oh.” Speechless, is the god who is so feared and respected by the nation. The nation who seems to have no idea how shy and flustered she can truly get. “Right. If you wish, then I shall oblige. Anything for you.”

When she fastens the hand crafted strap onto herself, her own breath hitches at the slight sensation. Neither of you know exactly how to work this situation with the small vibrations, but the fact you can feel your heartbeat between your own legs and the way you notice you can’t take your eyes off of it, you know that it’s the only thing you’re thinking about, and damn the archons if you don’t get to. Tentatively, you let your tongue move across the surface of it. Her violet eyes pierce down at you— she doesn’t mean for it to be, but it’s slightly intimidating nonetheless (maybe that’s what you like). You see the softness that lies beneath anyway.

“I think you need to hold my head, it’s— it’s big, and I’ve never done this before.”

“Hold your head? Is that not violent? I will not injure you for pleasure.” She states, but when you gently explain that it’ll help, her hand slowly moves to your hair. Her fingers, smooth despite the centuries of fighting, weave through your hair before gripping a small handful. Looking at you with her eyebrows knitted, waiting for a sign of consent, she stands still. When you give that sign, a murmured “please”, she begins to help your mouth and throat adjust by pushing you down. She’s gentle, almost a little too gentle, but the second you make that tiny little sound, she gasps. Your own eyes flutter to hers, a silent look of consent.

She’s hesitant at first, her hand barely guiding you, but when she starts losing herself at the sight of your eyes (beginning to water with what can only be described as tears of pure, unadulterated devotion), she lets herself loose, gently testing the waters with a roll of her hips. At the pleased choking sound you make, she does it again, and again, until she builds a rhythm, her breath coming out in little pants and stifled groans. Her lip is bitten in any attempt to hide the fact she’s enjoying this more than she thought she would. When a small whimper finally breaks through, she lets her head tilt back. Ei has decided she can’t look at you any longer or she’ll probably cum at the sight of you with spit on your chin and wet eyelashes.

Ei is a sensitive being, believe it or not. Unfortunately, for her and her ego, she does, in fact orgasm at the sight of you, the vibrations secretly doing nothing for her. She lies, and tells you that the vibrations did the trick. You know, it's different. You say nothing. You wouldn’t dare disrespect your god and accuse her of deceit.

And of course, when she notices the fact you’re throbbing, her hands gently pry your thighs apart, her braid tickling your ankles as she brings you to an eternity of pleasure.

[kryannoy]

girl we need more sitetampo content please🙏🙂‍↕️

genre: fluff

warnings: this is absolutely fictional!! i have no idea what sitetampo was like before he appeared in tournaments

a/n: i love how this sitetampo guy suddenly became popular for whatever reason and now everyone's tryna find fanfics of him, including me

It wasn't written in your life to be dating an obsessed gamer.

In school, he was the kid that sits at the back of the class with his head resting on the table. People would think he's taking a nap but no. You saw him and the light flashing his face. He was playing video games on his phone. You weren't sure what game it was but by the looks of it, it seems intense. His fingers smashing on the screen to the point his shoulders were vibrating.

And when he finished the game, his head rose and he'll lean back in his chair, stretching while brushing off his bangs from his face, revealing the red dent on his forehead and some sweat.

You giggled a little but he heard it. He looked at you and you looked away. This gave a bad impression of you. He thinks you're one of those girls that laughs at him for being a certified 'loser'. But it was the opposite, you got giddy not just because of the redness on his forehead or the sweat, it was because he looked damn good when he leaned back to his chair with a sigh of relief.

The next day, he still had his head on the table. Still an intense game you guessed. You tried to get a peek of what game he's playing but it was hard to see it from your seat. You only saw bright colors from the screen.

And again, when he raised his head, his eyes made contact with yours and once again, you looked away.

He's starting to get uncomfortable with you meanwhile you overthink what game he's playing that was so intense for him.

And again, the next day, he played games like usual with that same concerning posture of his. But this time, you brought a napkin with you from home and approached him.

"Hey."

He looked up. His small eyes looked so cute to you even when they're hidden behind his bangs that you feel like you want to brush it away or cut it off because it seemed like it hurt his eyes but frustratingly, he looks so good like this too.

You put the fluffy folded napkin on his table close to the edge, where he usually rests his forehead.

"You're gonna get a dent if you keep sitting like that. Also, don't your shoulders hurt from that posture?"

"If I don't, I'll get caught," he said, talking about hiding himself for playing games in class, but he started to stretch when you mention his shoulders. He decided to ignore you and continue playing when you have nothing left to say.

"What game are you playing?"

"Brawl Stars."

"What's it about?"

He took his sweet time in answering this but his thumbs are smashing the screen before he groaned out as he raised his head again. You saw the word 'defeated' plastered huge on the screen. His look of disappointment on you did not go unnoticed.

"It's like a battle, match, thingy. Shoot other people down and be the last one standing."

"Is it fun?"

"Yeah, I guess."

But his actions were very contradicting to his words right now.

It's been years already since that day, and now he's in his fourth Brawl Stars Tournament. You never thought Brawl Stars was such a serious game to be put in as an eSports competition, not to mention live on TV.

But here you are, in the crowds along with other Crazy Raccoon fans cheering for his team. You can't believe how far he's gone from being a kid who loves to play video games in the back of the class to last year's world champion who once again entered for this year, placing 2nd after HMBLE. His team may didn't get the winning streak however, you're honestly still proud of him no matter what.

Back in your shared apartment, he already took a shower and landed in your also shared queen-sized bed next to you. His eyes wants to sleep but his mind and obsession wants to play games again. But of course, desires are stronger than needs. He chose his phone and propped himself on the bed with his leg crossed on the other. You watch him tap on the skull icon and flipped his phone in landscape. Your head found its way nuzzled in the joint of his neck and shoulder. His blond hair tickling your face a little, you can smell his shampoo.

"Is it fun?" You ask.

"Yeah." Ever since you're dating him, he has become more expressive towards you. He's not scared of showing his emotions, of how honestly excited he is to talk about his favorite games.

While he's on his first match, you quietly installed the same game on your phone and also flipped your phone to landscape. The familiar sound of the game company made him spin his head to your phone screen. He couldn't hold back his laughter seeing you finally picking up on the game he's been playing for years. He never asked you to play it with him because he doesn't want to trouble you but deep inside, he wanted that to happen; you and him on the same team.

He watches you instead, doing the tutorial until finally you can add friends so he tells you to add him. He invites you to the same lobby and you both played a few rounds. It doesn't matter if you sucked at it or are good at it, the action of you playing his favorite game—playing with him, especially—is what makes him love you more. The whole time, he had stupid a smile on his face that he couldn't stop himself.

"Is it fun?" He asks.

"Yeah." You answered with a breathy laugh.

[revelboo]

hey, realtalk? these past few months have been genuinely butt And ass for reasons i wont get into, but reading your stuff has helped more than im able to put to words. thank you- and take care, okay?

Nah, I get it. Sometimes you just need something just for you, a break from reality and stress.

Where I Belong Pt 6

IDW Bluestreak x Reader

• One hand anxiously hovering against your legs where you’re perched on his shoulder, he tries to walk slowly so you can’t possibly fall. Not that it’s helping with his worries, his spark stuttering in his chest when you lean out to look around, wishing you were safely in his hands. But you’d asked and he hadn’t been able to tell you no. Door wings stiffly out, he steps into the rec room and you lean into his neck at the sudden noise and press of Autobots milling about. Rocking to a stop, he presses his servos against you. “This okay? We can go back.”

• His servos are warm against your upper thighs, head tilting but you know he probably can’t see you where you are. “Yeah. I’m good,” you manage, slightly unnerved by the loud chatter. Knowing there were others, you just hadn’t imagined how many. How in the world had they managed to stay hidden so far? Laying a palm on his chin, you catch a distant glimpse of another human walking along the top of a table, bending to lay their palms on the arm of another Autobot with flickering blue panels on the sides of his helm. It feels almost like trespassing when he reaches with his other hand to brush the back of a servo against the human’s cheek in an openly affectionate touch. You almost pitch backwards off of Bluestreak’s shoulder when he starts walking again. Away from those two even though you turn slightly to try to watch out of curiosity. Because that hadn’t looked like an interaction between a captor and a captive at all.

• Heading toward his usual table, he lifts a hand in greeting to Hound, Cliffjumper, and Bumblebee. Reaching up to coax you from his shoulder, he rumbles softly as you slide into his hands willingly so he can lower you into the table. “You brought your human out?” Bumblebee asks, leaning his arms on the table to peer at you and Bluestreak has the almost irrational urge to reach for you again and pull you to him. He forces a cheerful smile instead. “I wasn’t sure if mine was ready for so many Autobots,” Bee adds with a sheepish grin as he stretches out a servo in greeting. “Hi.”

• “Hi,” you mutter, uncomfortably aware of their curious stares as you reach out to awkwardly pat the tip of his servo and just catch Bluestreak’s door wings twitch up at the contact from the corner of your eye. And instead of going to fetch one of the weird glowing cubes the others have, he sits abruptly. Hadn’t the whole point of this trip been for him to refuel? Or had he just said that to get you to agree to be shown off to his buddies like a new puppy? Somehow you doubt that, especially when he lays his hand on the table so his knuckles are almost brushing your leg. Is he worried about leaving you with his friends? He’s still smiling, but his expression doesn’t look quite right. Giving up, you use a palm to push at his servos until he opens them and then sit in his hand, leaning into his warmth and he relaxes, door wings dropping some. So he was worried.

• Servos curling slightly around you as you sprawl in his open hand, his anxious tension fades away. Because you chose him over Bee and the others. Wanted to be near him. “How’d I get the broken one?” Cliffjumper grumbles, running a hand over his face. “Mine just cries.” That’s right. Not all of the humans living in the Ark are happy to be around Autobots. He’d heard whispers about Cliff’s and Prowl’s not coping well, but he understands. If their roles were reversed and he was your captive against his will? Would he be as adaptable as you are? Able to smile for you? That would be terrifying, wouldn’t it? To have no say and no freedom suddenly? His servos flex and you lay a hand on him, head tipping to offer him a smile he doesn’t deserve at all, but that still soothes away his unease for the moment.

Previous

[tojisth3rdwife]

Dog Gone It!

Syn: Aint it funny how when you let your kids get a pet, they immediately become your problem?

cw: crack. Megumi and these damn dogs driving you crazy..

a/n: s/o @sugurugetoshairbrush for the insp❤️❤️

“Hot sauce all in our Top Ramen, ya bish..ya bish, ya bish. Park the car, then we start rhymin', ya bish…” Toji mumbles along to the music filling his car, leaning back in his seat, one hand on the wheel as he sits in morning traffic. The forecast predicted scattered downpours for the whole day, having drenched the city and grayed the skies since early. He sighs bitterly when the motion of the traffic’s flow stalled, clenching his jaw when the car behind him started honking obnoxiously.

Toji was reluctantly on his way to a job that Shiu offered to him the night before. Something quick and easy, a minor shakedown and debt collection that shouldn't take him long. Knowing that didn't make it any easier to leave you this morning. Hell, he could still feel your lips on his neck and jawline as he had to force himself out the door.

No big deal though. He’d get the job done. Run some errands then make his way back to the house so he could enjoy having you to himself for a few hours.

His car had eased a bit further up the crowded road when his mounted phone rings from the front vents. Its a Facetime call from you.

Toji frowns, wondering what would have you Facetiming him this early when he expected you to be back in bed and asleep since Megumi had gone off to school.

Perhaps you were restless and wanted to put on a little show for him, needed his help to get back to sleep. Dirty possibilities spawned in his brain as he lifted his finger to swipe over the phone to answer, a knowing smirk on his face.

Toji’s attention is split between watching traffic and his screen, which he expected to be filled by your sensual expression, shrouded in his sheets and pillows. But no. He’s met immediately with your scowl and disheveled appearance.

You were standing in what he deduced was the living room, with the jingly sound of silver dog collars, heavy panting, and the TV in the background. His white tee you were wearing when he left was stretched at the collar and stained a light brown along with streaks of dirt and wet grass over your chest. Your hair, which was tied up neatly in a patterned silk scarf previously, was uncovered and a mess all over your head as if you’d been in a fight.

It's so shocking that a chuckle bubbled up from Toji’s chest as he sat up in his seat.

“Wha...Babe what the fuck happened to you?” he furrowed his brow and you simply turned the phone towards the floor, which was riddled with huge muddy paw prints and scattered puddles of water at your feet. At that, Toji’s smirk fades.

The camera whips back up to your comically pissed expression, a deranged smile now confusing Toji entirely.

“Guess who forgot to let the dogs back in from the backyard again?”

Toji stares at you blankly for a moment, then drops his head and shakes it when the answer hits.

“Dammit Megs. I had just told that boy...” he mutters, running his hand over his face.

“Yeah, me too. Right after you left, I reminded him to take care of the dogs before he went to school. So when he got on the bus , I assumed he had. But when I got out of the bathroom, I heard them scratching at the back door. They were just out there crying and getting rained on.”

Your voice began to shake with emotion as you moved around the room, mumbling cusses under your breath.

“Then what happened? Why do you look like you just got your ass kicked?” Toji counters at your pause, his choice of words making you laugh dryly.

“Funny you ask! I open the damn door and try to rescue them and those fuckers trample right over my ass and tracked mud and who the fuck knows what else all through the living room. Knocked my mug out of my hands so its hot ass coffee all over me. And now the front room stank like outside and ass..mud and shit everywhere Toji.....”

He hisses empathetically, his expression wrinkling in a grimace.

“Fuck! You got burned?? Is it bad?..” Toji inquires, his eyes lifting to the road and his mirrors as he attempts to switch lanes.

You appreciated his concern for you and would have been all warm and fuzzy inside because of it had you not already been so furious.

“No. No, it doesn't seem so bad. I haven't had a chance to check since it just happened. My shirt is just fucked..Aht aht! GHOST! NO! Nooooo..Getcho ass off that couch...”

Toji looks back down at his phone to find you swatting and baring your teeth at one of the dogs, chasing him away from the furniture.

“Uuuuughh!!! Toji it's big ass doo doo looking prints on the couch!! I just. I can't! I fucking can't..” you whimpered pitifully. All while you were fussing with the animals ruining his house and his woman, Toji was fighting for his life to keep from laughing at the way you talked to the dogs. If anyone else was listening, they’d swear you were rounding up a group of unruly ass children.

Although in retrospect, you kind of were.

A break in the traffic jam allowed Toji to turn down a back road, allowing him to cruise at a higher speed on his way to his destination. You noticed him trying to cover his scarred lips with his fist, a feeble attempt at hiding his smile. You focused your glare on him, quirking your brow.

“Uhm…I don’t see whats so funny. Ima have some words for your son and Im gonna put his animals right back out there in the rain so i can clean my house..” you mutter, glancing over the phone as said animals begin playfully growling at each other over a mangled chew toy.

“AHT AHT!! Don't yall start that shit!!” You yell as Toji responds to your not-so-idle threats to kick them out.

“Please don't. You know they’ll just howl and piss off the neighbors and shit...It's too early.” He shakes his head, coming up on a red light.

“Damn right it's too early! And fawk them neighbors! What about me? Lil is over here prancing around like she did a good thing by knocking my coffee all over the floor. Ghost keep jumping on the couch..” your voice shook as if you were about to cry, which you very well might do. It was close to that time of the month when every minor inconvenience felt major, and major ones seemed catastrophic. Toji knew he shouldn’t have left the house that morning. He just knew it.

“..it smells in here and now I have to mop again and take all the cushion covers off the couch to wash 'em..” you continued ranting, to which Toji listened intently with a wary scowl trained ahead at the busy intersection.

He sighs loudly.

“Im sorry youre dealing with that babe. I really am.” Toji mutters just as the loud sniffing sound has him glancing at his phone to find the camera on your chest. You were bending to sop up the spilled coffee and rain water with a towel when one of the dog’s started investigating.

“Yeah well me too...Stop, Ghost. Move...You have to talk to Megs about this. You let him get these damn dogs and while I love them, they're a pain in my ass today. And now they're just looking at me like they're innocent. Tails just wagging...”

To prove it, you stand and tap the screen to switch to the back camera for Toji to get a look at the dynamic duo himself.

Ghost, the male hound with snow white fur stood with his ears sticking straight up and his tongue dangling from his mouth as he panted happily.

Lilith, his sister with the deep black coat, was sitting beside him gazing up at you with interest, her head tilting curiously.

Both of their tails wagged happily as you stood over them, trying not to swoon over how cute they were in spight of all the destruction they caused in your house. They were just so damn big and rowdy, being less than a year old. You were afraid to see how much damage they could do if they weren't done growing.

Toji regards the big ass puppies with a squint before grunting in amusement, easing forward on the greenlight.

“Well..at least theyre happy..” he smirks, his attention back on driving.

He feels you give him the coldest glare through the phone that makes him chuckle in surrender and shake his head.

“Ok ok..I’ll talk to Megumi about being more responsible and make him scrub the couch when he gets home so just leave it, alright? I’ll handle it.” Toji grips the steering wheel, his forearms flexing subtly as he makes his turn.

The definitiveness of his tone put you at ease immediately because you know for a fact that Toji would handle his broody, hard-headed ass son. As far as the dogs, you knew in a few hours that you’d forgive them and their owner for just being themselves, and the drama of the morning would be another comical memory to join the rest that has accumulated since joining the Fushiguro clan.

A sigh of relief puffs between your lips.

“Good. Thank you. Im gonna go clean myself up. I’ll talk to you later.” You step past the dogs on your way towards the bathroom again, ready to peel the damn coffee stained shirt from your body. The rev of Toji’s engine was audible and the view of him driving comfortable with his huge pecs stretching the front of his standard black tee distracts you from the grumpiness for a few seconds. Unaware of you ogling since he was watching the road, Toji reaches for his mounted phone.

“Alright baby. Don’t kill nobody in the meantime. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He half jokes, tapping his screen. You were in the bathroom by now, turning the faucet for the bathtub to hot before responding.

“Yeah yeah, no promises. Hurry up.” You mutter with a pout. The same one you gave Toji before he left. He chuckles at your expression, rolling his eyes. You scrunch your nose at him before kissing the pads of your middle and index fingers and pressing your stamped smooch to Toji’s face on your phone. He steals a glance towards his phone just in time to recieve the imaginary kiss and your grumpy ‘bye Toji’ amidst the rushing water.

“Uh huh. Bye, baby..” he laughs, making sure to press his lips to his thumb, then his thumb to the camera before tapping the little red circle to hang up.

<call ended>

[zigrethsnotebook]

3 times Stan fake-proposed to you and 1 time he didn’t

Stan x Reader

words: 4,123

tags: sfw, toothrotting fluff

a/n: was allowed to borrow the idea from @stanpineskisser <3

1. Stan and you had been dating for a couple of months now. The town was slowly warming up to the idea of Mister Mystery dating someone so... 'out of his league' as you'd once heard it. You knew they just thought you were a gold-digger but you also did not care. You loved Stan. And even though he had a hard time saying it out loud, you knew he loved you, too.

Stan didn’t need to tell you how he felt, because he showed you through little gestures and gifts he'd get you. (But to call you a gold-digger because of that? He stole most of the stuff anyway!) Like today, when you two went on a date to Greasy's Diner.

It wasn't supposed to be anything fancy, just a normal dinner date with Stan. But as things so often are with this man, it ended up being anything but normal.

When you two entered the Diner one thing immediately caught your eye. A new little machine stood next to the coat rack at the door. It was one of those things where you'd put a coin in, turn the handle a couple of times and a little plastic ball filled with some cheap toy would fall out. You loved these when you were a kid! The toys were always terrible but something about it always made you get something whenever you saw one of these.

Your excitement and nostalgia got the better of you. So while Stan put both of your coats away, you went and got yourself something from the machine. Grinning from ear to ear you followed Stan to an empty booth. You waited until after you had ordered your drinks to open the plastic ball.

"Where'd you get that?" Stan asked as you struggled to tear the two halves apart. "The machine at the door." You didn't even look up to answer him, you knew he wouldn't like it, call it a waste of money. He'd be right, of course, but you didn’t need to hear it.

While Stan was looking for the machine you finally managed to pull the ball apart, sending the contents flying across the table, one of the things rolling off of it. You quickly gathered them all in one spot in front of you while Stan stood up. "I gotcha."

When he spotted the little dark blue plastic ring in front of the table, he bent down on one knee, picked it up and presented it to you. You were about to take it from him when Lazy Susan appeared behind him, holding your drinks. She gasped before saying: "Oh my, Mr. Pines! Are you proposing already?" Stan looked at her quizzically for a second when you saw an opening for a free meal.

"Oh my god, Stan! I never would have thought! This is so sudden...!" You put on a real show and Stan was quick to follow your lead. "What can I say? These past few months have been the best of my life and I never want them to end! Please... marry me?"

The words were right but both of you spoke them like you were the leads in a cheap soap-opera. It didn’t matter though. Everyone cheered when you said 'yes' and fell into his arms. Stan pushed the ring onto your finger and you kissed him as dramatically as you could.

Once you two had settled back into your seats, now holding hands and making heart-eyes at each other, Lazy Susan put your drinks on your table. "Well, I think it goes without saying that you two are getting the special today. On the house! Aren't you just adorable!" You both thanked her and grinned at each other as she turned around.

After dinner, on your way back to the shack, Stan couldn't help but laugh. "Nice stunt you pulled there. Quick thinking - I like that." You smirked at him. "I learned from the best."

He shifted in his seat a little, the words he was about to say making him slightly nervous. "You do realize we'll have to pretend to be engaged now, right?" You chuckled before answering sarcastically. "Oh no, what a nightmare!"

Stan joined you with a chuckle of his own. However, he couldn't shake the warm, fuzzy feeling that was blooming in his chest at the thought of being engaged to you.

2. About two weeks later Stan asked you out to dinner again. "And put on something nice. We're going to a fancy restaurant today. Because I'm planning to propose to you!" You were about to question him when he showed you a little blue box. When he opened it you recognised the little blue plastic ring from the Diner and smiled a crooked smile.

"And here I was, thinking you were going to propose to me for real," you sighed dramatically, "but I suppose a scam for a free dinner will do." You smirked at Stan as he put the box into his jacket. "I'll be back in five." You kissed his cheek and turned on your heels to put on some nicer clothes.

As you walked away you had to calm your racing heart with a few steadying breaths. What happened at Greasy's was dumb luck, but the fact that Stan wanted to pull the same scam again, on purpose this time, left you feeling giddy.

You lived for the excitement Stan brought into your life. Scamming, shoplifting, pug smuggling or robbing his rival of a clown painting - Nothing beat the adrenalin rush of doing something illegal, running away hand in hand and then sinking into each other, laughing hysterically.

This scam in particular though? It felt a little different. You knew that this would only work if the people at the restaurant believed that you two were so in love that you'd want to marry each other. Not that it was very difficult for you. You two had been dating a good while and you really loved him. But the topic of marriage had never even crossed your mind before.

Then again, this was only a scam. He wasn't actually proposing to you. After all, you had roped him into this at Greasy's and now he was just taking advantage of a good situation.

Still, as you looked in the mirror, all dressed up in your fanciest dark red suit, you decided that you'd put on an even better show than last time.

When you met Stan again in the living room he eyed you up and down before stepping towards you and grabbing your waist, pulling you closer to him. His voice was low. "You look gorgeous, doll."

Your hands found his chest and traced his skin in the part of his shirt he'd left unbuttoned. "You clean up nice yourself, handsome." You all but purred at him. Stan chuckled, a smirk on his face. "Don't tempt me, sweetcheeks. Let's get dinner first."

You both chuckled and pulled apart so Stan could lead you to the front door. He kept one of your hands in his up until he opened the car door for you, allowing you to climb inside, before he shut the door. He walked over to the driver's side and you two drove off.

Stan had picked a restaurant a good 40 minute drive from the shack so by the time you arrived you were starting to get really hungry. Stan had put in a reservation beforehand which meant you were quickly seated and presented with a nice red wine Stan had ordered for the both of you.

He promised you he'd only drink one glass and then switch to soda and you believed him. Stan had assured you time and time again that nothing was more important to him than your safety.

You held his hands on top of the table and you both stared into each other's eyes, really going all out on the lovey-dovey stuff. Normally, Stan would roll his eyes and groan at people who behaved like this, but when he could use it to scam someone? He was not holding back.

He softly spoke sweet nothings over the table, quiet enough to be believable, loud enough to make sure the staff heard him. He peppered your hands in soft kisses and smiled at you like you were the light of his life.

Hell, if you didn’t plan for this to be a scam then you would have believed him. You couldn't help the way a gentle blush crept onto your cheeks at the sight of Stan picking up your hand and placing a soft kiss to your knuckles without breaking eye contact with you.

Just as Stan saw the waiter approaching again out of the corner of his eyes, he put on the real show. He stood up, his chair screeching backwards slightly and declared: "I can't wait any longer." Stan pulled the blue box from one of his pockets and got down on one knee in front of you as he addressed you by name.

"You are by far the best thing that's ever happened to me. Your smile is what lets me get up in the morning and I would be honored if you would allow me to see your smile every day for the rest of our lifes. Please. Will you marry me?"

You watched him, real shock and surprise making its way to your face with every word he spoke. You had to manually remind yourself that this was just a scam and Not a real proposal. Without your permission your voice went shaky as you breathed out a "Yes, of course!" and went in for a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Why was this having such a strong effect on you? You knew this was coming, you should have been prepared for this!

It didn’t matter because you didn’t have much time to dwell on it. When you parted the kiss you tuned back into the real world and heard the other customers applauding. The waiter had now reached the both of you and declared that for true love like yours your meal would be on the house. The customers applauded again as you both settled back into your seats.

You admired the dark blue ring Stan had slipped onto your finger and Stan quickly covered it with his own hand when the waiter brought out your plates, knowing full well that with one closer look every idiot would see that the ring is just plastic.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. Two couples congratulated you both on their way out and you thanked them accordingly.

After you were done and back on the road Stan was first to speak up. "You were real convincing today. Almost made me think you thought it was a real proposal." He kept his eyes on the road but the smirk on his lips was still very clear.

You chuckled. "Yeah, right. To be fair, you weren't half bad yourself. 'Your smile is what lets me get up in the morning'? Now that's some true romantic stuff. Did you learn that from The Duchess Approves?" You tried to play it cool by teasing him. It seemed to do the trick.

"Hey! I can be romantic!" You chuckled fondly. "Yes, I know, love." Stan's expression softened at the nickname. He wanted to tell you just how much he loved you, too, but he just couldn't get the words out so instead, he just put his right arm over the backrest of your seat and pulled you towards him slightly as he continued to drive home.

You leaned into his touch and held up your left hand to look at the ring again. "Hm... How about I give this back to you, in case we want to do this again sometime?" You smiled as you pulled the ring off your finger and dropped it into the chest pocket of Stan's shirt.

3. It was late spring as you and Stan decided to go to a fair, one town over. You two walked along the many different attractions together, your arm lazily around his torso, his hand gently resting on your hip. Your pace was very slow, because at every other stall he squeezed your hip lightly to pull you closer and whispered in your ear how exactly they were scamming the customers. Every time he'd get a chuckle or a gentle swat to his chest from you.

As you two were passing by a Tin Can Alley, you spotted a gorgeous bear plushie that was just one fez short of looking like Stan. Just as you were about to ask him to play a round with him he pulled you closer again. "Ah, the Tin Can Alley. Did you know that they put a bit of double sided tape under the cans so they're harder to knock over?"

You swatted him lightly again and he chuckled. "No! Stan! Don't tell me that! I wanted to play a round with you. That bear looks so much like you, I wanted to win one." He looked a little puzzled at you, then at the bear, and back at you again. "I don't see it."

Even though he hated hearing you say it, he was plain adorable at times. A fond smile graced your lips even though you sighed in disappointment. "It's okay, let's go." You went to take a step forward but Stan stopped you. "Nah, let's play anyway." "But-" He cut you off and stepped towards the stall. "Come on! My treat." Stan flashed his teeth and winked at you. Was he planning something?

You were the only people at the stall so the man in charge of it noticed you two immediately. Stan squinted at him. "What do we need to do to get that bear?" He pointed at the plushie dangling above your heads.

The man smiled at him. "Good choice, sir. For that one you should only need three balls." He placed three balls on the counter between the men. "There is a catch though. You see these stacks?" He pointed at the three pyramids of stacked cans behind him. "You'll need to clear all three of them completely. Care to try? It's only three dollars."

Stan pulled three dollars out of his pocket and placed them on the counter, then gently nudged you closer to it. "Give it your best shot, doll." You smiled at Stan and took the first ball as the man behind the counter put the money away.

You positioned yourself in front of the first stack, took a deep breath and threw the ball. It hit the second of three rows, knocking four out of six cans to the ground. "Hoho! Good one! But not quite good enough for the bear I'm afraid." You frowned, disappointment filling your chest again.

"Yeah, not an option, pal. How about you just keep 'em coming, huh?" The man smiled at Stan again, although this time it looked a little more like a smirk. "Gladly, sir! Every extra ball is an extra dollar." As he said this he put one extra ball on the counter. Stan grumbled quietly and pulled another dollar out of his pocket while the man restacked the cans.

When the man was done and took the dollar, Stan looked at you, encouraging you to try again. This time you actually managed to clear the first stack. You threw your arms up in triumph and Stan huffed but the look in his eyes was of pure adoration. The second stack was less easy though, you only knocked off three cans this time. You needed an extra ball.

This went on until Stan had spent exactly eleven dollars. You had counted along. After that, when you hadn't cleared the cans again and looked at Stan expectantly, he put on his saddest face and pulled his pockets inside out, proving that he had 'no money left' and you couldn't continue.

Stan sighed sadly, shook his head and turned to you again. "I'm so sorry... I wanted to make this the best day ever but..." He looked wistfully up at the plushie and then back to you. "I suppose it doesn't matter that much." Stan rummaged through the inside of his jacket and pulled out the tiny box you'd come to recognize. You let your eyes widen in fake surprise.

He bent down on one knee, opened the box and presented it to you. You gasped as you saw the ring again. "Will you marry me?" You looked between Stan and the ring a couple times, pretending to be shocked at this scenario, before you nodded vigorously and stepped forward, hugging your boyfriend and repeating the word 'yes' a couple of times.

Some passersby 'aw'-ed and applauded as you pulled back slightly to press a loving kiss to Stan's lips. You'd never get tired of this. As Stan pushed you back just enough to slip the ring onto your finger, you could hear the man at the stall quietly sigh in annoyance. You went in for another kiss to Stan's lips, really selling the proposal.

When you broke the kiss again, you two were presented with the bear plushie, sitting for you on the counter. "If this is what it will take to make this the best day ever for two lovers, who am I to stand in your way?" The man said as he slid the bear over to you.

You gladly took it, hugging it tightly and throwing a couple 'Thank you!'-s at the man while Stan grabbed him by the shoulder and told him: "Thanks, man. I knew you were a true romantic at heart."

With that, you two left the fair. You had everything you needed. Back in the car, you slipped the ring off your finger and handed it back to Stan before nuzzling your face into your new favorite plushie, which you lovingly and creatively named Stan two or Stan the second.

You didn’t see it, but Stan's expression softened as you did that. He adored you so much. The way you were able to pull off these scams with him so effortlessly. The way your genuine joy for life made him actually want to spend money on silly things like this. You had changed his life for the better and didn’t even know it.

In that very moment Stan started planning exactly how and where the next time he'd propose to you would happen.

1. You and Stan sat in Greasy's Diner, sipping on some soda. Stan had asked you out to dinner and you had assumed he was planning to fake-propose to you again, but as he pulled up to the Diner you realized that that wasn't the plan. He couldn't pull the same thing here again, they thought you were already engaged!

Even so, Stan had put on one of his nicer outfits. A red shirt with the top few buttons unbuttoned to show off his gold-chain and a decent amount of chest hair. His tan jacket was thrown over the backrest as you sat down at a booth. You had also worn something nice, not too fancy, but nice enough for the kind of restaurant you thought he'd take you to.

Stan clearly enjoyed your outfit, it showed off all the right curves while not giving too much away... he couldn't keep his eyes off of you. It made you chuckle as Lazy Susan stood in front of your table and Stan seemingly hadn't even noticed her. "Hey! Earth to Stan!" You called out to him and he snapped out of it. "What would you like to eat?" You grinned at him as he ordered.

When Lazy Susan walked back to the kitchen you spoke up again with a chuckle. "I know I look good in this, but you're overdoing it a little." Stan just rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Haha... yeah. Sorry." You furrowed your brows at him. You had expected him to have some witty, suggestive comeback but instead he apologized? Something was off.

You watched him fidget with his hands in front of him, his eyes darting around the room and the table, anywhere but your eyes really. It was starting to worry you. "Stan? Are you alright?" Concern laced your voice and made Stan finally face you. His cheeks immediately went bright red.

"Th-There's nothing for you to worry about, doll, I promise." Your eyebrows stayed knitted together as you nodded slowly. He was clearly lying and also very nervous about it, but you knew better than to push him. He'd tell you eventually. He always does.

After a few minutes in silence, with Stan going back to fidgeting and not looking at you, Lazy Susan brought you both your meals. You thanked her and dug in. Meanwhile Stan quietly sighed in disappointment before starting to eat as well.

You were about halfway through your meal when Stan got up. You didn’t pay much attention to it and just assumed he had to use the restrooms. When you looked up and saw his plate though, you halted. The fork in your hand landed back on your plate as you wondered why Stan had barely eaten anything.

Someone cleared their throat beside you and when you turned to look it was Stan in front of you on one knee, holding a tiny red box. You quickly swallowed the food that was still in your mouth as Stan addressed you with your full legal name. He was blushing a deep red and you could feel your cheeks trying to match his.

"I know I've said this before but I want you to know that I truly mean it this time." He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "These past few months with you have been the best of my life and I would spend all the money in the world to keep your smile in my life forever."

Your eyes welled up with tears as you realized what was happening. "I have become a better man and I blame you for that entirely." A wet chuckle escaped your lips. "I guess what I really want to say is..." Stan took another deep breath, then looked into your eyes. "I love you."

A few tears were flowing freely now as Stan opened the box in his hands to present you the most gorgeous silver ring you had ever seen. It held a little red gemstone between silver swirls that reflected the light from the Diner like a sunset over the ocean. "Will you marry me?"

You lept out of your seat into Stan's arms, knocking him backwards onto the floor. "Yes! Yes! A million times yes!" Stan could feel your tears staining his shirt but he couldn't care less. A massive weight lifted off his shoulders knowing that he could now call you his fiancé without having to lie about it.

With some difficulty he managed to sit you both back up so he could take your hand and place the real ring onto your finger. Admiring the sight he pressed a kiss to it, as if sealing it there.

You pressed your forehead to Stan's, holding the hand with the ring between you. "I love you, Stan." He sighed, finally content. "I love you, too."

After a few moments on the floor like that, Lazy Susan came up next to you. "Didn’t you propose two months ago?" Stan let out a gruff laugh, the one that always made you smile. "No, I didn’t. Just faked it to get a free meal." He beamed at her but Lazy Susan frowned.

She turned around and while Stan helped you up and into your seat again she came back with a broom in her hands. She smacked him with it from behind. Once, twice. Stan stammered out some halfhearted apologies as she kicked him out of the Diner.

You laughed all the way and when she came back to your table you apologized sincerely, asked her nicely to pack both of your meals up to go and told her that you'd pay for both these meals, and the ones you had two months ago.

She agreed happily, and when you stepped outside with your food, you found Stan next to his car, rubbing his ass. You laughed and told him that you'd finish your dinner at home, just the two of you.

That seemed to lift Stan's spirits again. He almost sprinted around the car to open the door for you and when you both got home you celebrated your real engagement appropriately.

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 11

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, mentions of drugs, mentions of selling drugs, angst, cursing, mentions smoking weed, death

Chris's POV

Sitting in Y/n’s treehouse with her after being so intimate felt like stepping into a different world, one I’d almost forgotten existed. We could see the stars through the treehouse window, her laughter echoing in the dim fairy lights as the effects of the weed softened the edges of everything. The air felt thick and warm, and her gaze was softer, more open, as if the high had taken down her walls. When her hand brushed against mine, her fingers tracing gentle lines, I felt a spark of something that went beyond words.

Finally, we made our way to her room. Y/n barely made it to her bed before she collapsed, a sleepy smile on her face as she drifted off almost instantly after telling me I could spend the night. I stretched out beside her, feeling a peace I hadn’t felt in years, like all the noise in my head had finally quieted down. Her soft breaths filled the room, and for once, I felt like I might actually sleep through the night. Here, with her warmth next to me, the world seemed so far away.

I closed my eyes, letting myself drift, her presence like an anchor. But just as I felt myself slipping away, my phone buzzed in my pocket, the sound jarring in the quiet of her room. My heart sank as I looked at

the screen, Nate’s name flashing across it. I sighed, irritation prickling at the edges of my calm. The last time I’d been in Y/n’s bed, Nate had blown up my phone too, begging me for some weed because he “needed something to take the edge off.” Typical.

I ignored the call, sliding my phone back into my pocket, hoping it wouldn’t wake her. But a few seconds later, it buzzed again. I declined it a second time, annoyance pushing out the peace that had finally settled over me. Whatever Nate needed could wait.

Then, a message came through:

Answer your fucking phone.

The words sent a shiver down my spine. Nate never talked to me like that, never demanded anything from me with that kind of urgency unless it was serious. My stomach twisted as I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could, not wanting to disturb Y/n, and made my way out onto her balcony, carefully closing the door behind me.

As soon as I stepped outside, Nate’s name flashed on my screen again, and this time, I didn’t hesitate. I swiped to answer, dread pooling in my gut. "What’s going on?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady but low.

There was a pause on the other end, a silence so heavy I could almost feel it through the phone. Then Nate finally spoke, his voice rough and strained. "Danny. He’s dead."

The words hit me like a physical blow, a sucker punch to the gut that stole the breath right out of my lungs. He was gone? Just like that? For a few heartbeats, everything around me froze, the world narrowing down to those two words, echoing in my head. Danny’s dead.

“What?” I whispered, gripping the balcony rail so hard my knuckles turned white. “What happened, Nate?”

Nate let out a shaky breath, his voice thick with something I’d rarely heard from him – fear. "It was a hit. One of the guys from H Block.. they got him, Chris. I-” His voice cracked, and he took a moment to compose himself. “He was out alone, they ambushed him. By the time anyone knew what happened, he was already gone."

I closed my eyes, the weight of it settling heavily on my shoulders. Danny was gone, just like that. It was a stark reminder of the life we were both tangled in, the violence that came with it, and how quickly everything could go south. We all knew the risks, but that didn’t make it any easier to face.

"Nate.. I’m so sorry, man fuck." I managed to say, my own voice hoarse with shock. I didn’t know what else to say. Danny had been a pain sometimes, sure, but he was family to Nate. And he was one of us, as much as any of us could be called that.

“Yeah, well..” Nate’s voice dropped, a bitterness seeping into his tone. “This is what we signed up for, right?”

I swallowed, feeling the bile rise in my throat. He wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. That didn’t mean it didn’t feel like a punch to the chest, a reminder of just how easily I could lose everything.

And then, like a ripple through the haze of shock and grief, came a thought that made my stomach clench even tighter. Y/n. I’d promised her I’d get out of this, somehow, that I’d find a way out, but right now, that promise felt impossibly far away.

“Are you with anyone right now?” Nate’s voice brought me back to the moment, a question layered with an unspoken warning.

I glanced back toward Y/n’s room, the soft glow of her bedside lamp just visible through the curtains. “Yeah. But she doesn’t know anything about this, Nate. I.. I can’t tell her. Not about Danny. Not now.”

There was a pause, then Nate sighed, a sound that carried a world of resignation. “Maybe that’s for the best. It’s not exactly something you can just drop on someone. Besides, if you care about her, you’ll keep her out of this mess. You don’t want her caught up in what happened to Danny.”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see it. Nate was right, as much as I hated to admit it. If I wanted to protect Y/n, I had to keep her as far away from this shit as possible.

After the call ended, I was left with a hollow feeling in my chest, standing alone on Y/n’s balcony as the weight of what Nate had told me settled in. Danny’s dead. He’d been the first to pull us into the Crimson Cartel, the cousin Nate had practically idolised, the guy who showed us how to survive. And now he was gone, taken out by H Block, the gang we were always in a deadly dance with. The thought of going back inside, of laying down next to Y/n and pretending everything was normal, felt impossible.

I sent Nate a quick message to let him know I was on my way, then carefully slipped back into Y/n’s room. She was still asleep, her breathing deep and steady, and for a moment, I almost convinced myself to stay, to cling to this feeling of normalcy. But there was a sick twist in my gut, the knowledge that this world I was a part of, the world I’d thought I could keep from touching her, was more dangerous than I could ever fully admit.

With a last glance at her, I quietly made my way out of the house, moving into the cool night air, my mind churning with anger, grief, and an uneasy resolve. I knew exactly where Nate would be, our usual spot at the docks, where we’d go when things felt too heavy, a place removed from all the noise. The streets were mostly empty as I drove, the city lights blurring past in a haze of red and yellow. My mind kept replaying the conversation with Nate, the anger in his voice, the grief masked by bitterness.

When I arrived, Nate was already there, leaning against his car with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring out at the water. He looked rough, more so than I’d ever seen him, his shoulders tense, his jaw set in a hard line. As I approached, he didn’t look at me, just kept his gaze on the dark, choppy water, his silence heavy with emotion.

“Hey” I said softly, coming to stand beside him. I didn’t know what else to say, didn’t know if there was anything that could actually ease the blow.

Nate exhaled a shaky breath, then finally turned to look at me, his face twisted in a mix of anger and sadness. “I keep thinking it’s not real, you know? That he’ll just.. show up, same as always.” His voice cracked, and he quickly looked away, clenching his fists. “But he’s gone, Chris. They took him. Just like that.”

I reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Nate. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” The words felt weak, inadequate, but I didn’t know what else to say. Losing Danny was a blow for both of us, but for Nate, it was something deeper, something raw.

Nate laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You know what’s messed up? He warned us about this. Said one day, we’d either get out, or we’d end up like him.” His gaze turned cold, a hardness settling over his face. “Well, I’m not going out like him. I’m not just letting them take him and get away with it.”

The intensity in his voice sent a chill down my spine. I knew what he meant, even if he didn’t say it outright. Revenge. He wanted blood for blood. And maybe, in another time, in another life, I’d feel the same. But standing there, hearing the anger in his voice, I felt a strange clarity, a need to break this cycle, not to keep fueling it.

“Nate, listen” I began, my voice steady but pleading. “This life.. it doesn’t end well for any of us. If we keep going down this road, we’re going to end up just like him. This could be our chance, Nate. Maybe we can find a way out. We could leave the cartel, start fresh somewhere else, away from all of this.”

He finally looked at me, his eyes narrowing as if I’d just suggested something absurd. “Get out? And do what, Chris? Get 9 to 5’s, pretend we don’t have blood on our hands? This is all we know, man. This is all we have.” He shook his head, his face twisted in disbelief. “They took him from us, and you’re talking about leaving?”

I held his gaze, refusing to back down. I knew shit was going to hit the fan between the two gangs now that one of our top men were gone. “Danny didn’t want this for us. He wanted us to survive, Nate. That’s why he brought us in, to protect us. But we’re in too deep now, and if we don’t get out, we’ll end up just like him. Don’t you see that?”

Nate scoffed, turning his back to me, his shoulders hunched. “What, you think they’d just let us go? Crimson doesn’t do retirement, Chris. You know that as well as I do. The only way out is in a body bag.”

“Maybe” I admitted, the reality of his words settling heavily in my chest. “But maybe if we play it smart, we could find a way. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I’m saying it’s worth trying. We don’t have to end up like Danny.”

Nate was silent for a long moment, staring out at the water, his face a mask of tension and turmoil. Finally, he turned back to me, his eyes dark with a determination I didn’t quite recognize. “I don’t want to leave, Chris. I want them to pay. Every single one of them. Danny didn’t deserve this, and I won’t rest until they know what they’ve done.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I felt a flicker of fear, a sense of impending danger that went beyond the cartel and its threats. Nate’s anger, his need for revenge, was something that could easily consume him, and me, if I wasn’t careful. I’d thought maybe he’d see reason, that he’d want to break free from this life as much as I did, but it was clear that Danny’s death had only solidified his loyalty, and had anchored him even deeper into this world of violence and retribution.

“Just.. think about it, okay?” I said, feeling a knot of helplessness tighten in my chest. “Think about what Danny would really want for you.”

Nate’s face softened just slightly, but his resolve didn’t waver. “I know what Danny would want” he muttered, turning away from me. “And I’m going to make sure he gets it.”

I watched him for a moment longer, my heart heavy with a mix of worry and sorrow. Nate had always been like a brother to me, but in that moment, I felt a distance between us that I wasn’t sure we could ever bridge.

Nate took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he exhaled, the weight of everything finally sinking in. “I’m going to crash, man. Maybe smoke a joint, see if it takes the edge off. I can’t think straight right now.” His eyes met mine, hollow and exhausted. “I’ll catch you later.”

“Yeah, take care of yourself” I replied, clapping a hand on his shoulder. But as I turned to walk back to my car, my mind was already elsewhere.

I’d only left Y/n’s place about an hour ago. Surely she was still asleep - the first time you smoke weed you have the best sleep of your life. The memory of her, half asleep and peaceful, pulled at me in a way that nothing else could. If I was careful, I could slip back in without her even noticing. I could be there, beside her, just for a few more hours, away from everything else.

The drive back was quick, my thoughts scattered between Nate’s broken expression and the hope of finding some comfort in Y/n’s presence. When I reached her house, the place was silent, dark windows giving nothing away. I parked a little further down the street, keeping my footsteps quiet as I made my way around the side, toward her balcony.

The familiar route felt oddly reassuring, like muscle memory kicking in as I climbed up and peered into her room. Carefully, I slid the balcony door open and stepped inside, moving quietly as I slipped out of my shoes and settled onto the edge of her bed. Sure enough, there she was, exactly as I’d left her, wrapped in the blankets, a soft rise and fall to her breathing. Just seeing her like that, oblivious to the chaos surrounding us, brought an unexpected calm. She didn’t stir, but I could feel her warmth, the comfort of just being near her.

Y/n’s POV

Sunlight streamed through the blinds, gentle but enough to nudge me awake. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the light, and felt a familiar warmth beside me. Chris. He was here, his arm draped across me, his chest rising and falling steadily. For a moment, I just lay there, my heart swelling at the sight of him so peacefully asleep next to me.

This time, he hadn’t left in the middle of the night. He’d stayed.

The realisation filled me with an unexpected happiness, like maybe last night meant more to him than I thought. But as the initial rush of contentment faded, I remembered a tiny detail I hadn’t had to consider over the weekend: my parents were home.

The thought hit me like a shock of cold air. I couldn’t help but glance at my closed door, wondering if they’d wake up before Chris left. I was used to slipping out of the house quietly to avoid questions, but the idea of him sneaking out felt a little nerve wrecking. What if we were too loud? What if they happened to catch him in the hallway, or worse, heard him on his way down?

I sighed softly, trying to piece together what this all meant. Things with Chris weren’t exactly straightforward. After last night’s conversations and the intensity of everything between us, the way he held me like I was his anchor in a storm, it made me realise just how deep he was in all of this. And I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t know now.

Chris woke beside me, his eyes fluttering open as if he’d sensed I was awake. He blinked a couple of times, and when he saw me, a small, sleepy smile spread across his face.

“Morning” he mumbled, his voice husky.

“Morning” I replied, unable to hide my own smile. I hesitated, glancing at the door again. “So.. my parents got back yesterday.” I whispered, half teasing, half nervous.

His eyes widened slightly as he realised the situation. “Ah. Right” he said, a hint of a grin playing on his lips. “Should I start planning my escape route?”

“Maybe” I chuckled. “Or I could try to sneak you out before they wake up.”

“Think we’d get away with it?” he asked, shifting to face me, his eyes still half closed but filled with a warmth that made my heart skip a beat.

“Only one way to find out” I replied, giving him a small, mischievous smile. I hated the idea of him leaving, but the last thing I wanted was to face my parents’ questions first thing in the morning.

Chris nodded, running a hand through his tousled hair as he picked his phone up to check the notification he just received. "It’s okay" he murmured, his voice still soft from sleep. "I’ll go through the balcony. I’ve got things to take care of anyway."

There was something in his tone, something quiet and weighed down, I’m hoping he wasn’t starting to regret last night. I wanted to reach out, to make him stay just a bit longer, but I could see it in his eyes, the urgency to go.

“Alright” I said, my voice reluctant as I tried to keep it light. “Guess I’ve got all morning to kill anyway. I don’t have class until late this afternoon.”

He reached over, brushing a thumb across my cheek, his eyes studying my face like he was memorising it. “I’ll text you later, okay? Maybe we can meet up tonight.”

I nodded, feeling a small twinge of relief, an indication that it's not regret. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

With one last glance toward my bedroom door, he slipped out of bed, pulling on his shoes quietly before heading toward the balcony. He paused at the threshold, looking back at me one last time, and for a second, I thought he was going to say something else. But he just gave a soft smile, then disappeared over the railing with practised ease.

The room felt colder, emptier the moment he was gone.

I spent the next two hours rotting in bed, aimlessly scrolling through TikTok, trying to distract myself from the heaviness of last night. I was in a surprisingly good mood after everything with Chris. It was comforting waking up to him beside me, even if he had to sneak out through the balcony before my parents woke up. I couldn’t help but daydream about the future, wondering how things could be if we both left all this craziness behind.

Eventually, I noticed it was already 10:30 a.m, and I figured I should probably make some breakfast so I made my way to the kitchen. I loved having some kind of noise in the background, so out of habit I turned on the kitchen radio and let it fill the space as I danced around, preparing scrambled eggs and toast. The morning felt so ordinary and nice, the smell of coffee, the soft sounds from the radio, it was a comforting routine, like a safe bubble around me. The kitchen was bright, the world felt warm, and my mind drifted back to Chris and all the possibilities ahead of us.

Then, the soft background noise of the radio was interrupted by a breaking news announcement that made my heart drop.

"A man killed in last night's gang related feud has been identified as 31-year-old Daniel Doe."

The words barely registered at first. "Doe? Daniel Doe? As in Nate’s cousin, Danny?" I felt the floor slip beneath me as the reality of what I’d heard sank in. The world around me seemed to blur, the sizzling of eggs on the stove now distant and irrelevant. I gripped the counter to steady myself, my mind racing.

Danny was.. dead? As a result of the feud?

Images of Nate and Chris flashed in my mind, Nate’s anger, his focus on some unknown turmoil that he and Chris wouldn’t discuss, and Chris’s hesitations, his careful attempts to keep me in the dark while also trying to keep me close. They’d both been connected to this from the beginning. I thought back to Chris’s face this morning, the way he looked at his phone. That’s why he was off.

I glanced back at the radio, my hands trembling. The familiar warmth of the kitchen now felt suffocating, like I’d been thrust into someone else’s life. For the first time, it felt as though the dangerous world Chris was tangled in was no longer just a dark secret but a harsh, painful reality. This wasn’t just his story, it was becoming mine, too. It just reinforced the fact to me he needed out now.

I needed to talk to him.

Chris’ POV

Waking up next to Y/n that morning felt almost surreal. The quiet warmth, the way her breath moved softly as she slept, the faint light filtering in through the blinds, there was a peace to it all, like something I hadn’t felt in ages. Just being there with her, no running, no hiding, no keeping up walls. For a brief moment, I let myself imagine what life could be like if things were.. different.

She turned to me smiling with that sleepy softness that nearly made me forget everything else. But just as she whispered that her parents were home, my phone buzzed on the bedside table. I ignored it at first, not wanting to break the moment. But then it buzzed again, and I knew I’d have to check it. As I picked it up, the message notification lit up across the screen, and my stomach twisted at the sender’s name. Vince.

“I need you at the harbour in an hour. Don’t be late.”

I felt the blood drain from my face. Vince never gave times or places unless something big was going down. And after last night with Nate, after everything that happened.. I had a feeling I already knew what this was about. I swallowed, trying to hide the tension from Y/n, even though I could feel her watching me.

“I'll go through the balcony.” I said, forcing a casual tone, though my chest felt tight. “ I’ve got things to take care of anyway.”

She nodded, understanding. It was something she’d heard me say before, though this time it felt heavier. We both got up, and as I got ready, I tried to keep my mind on the drive ahead. She didn’t ask any questions, thankfully, just smiled and kissed me goodbye before I headed out the door, promising to see her later.

The drive to the harbour was tense, my hands gripping the wheel as I ran through all the things Vince could want from me. After Danny’s death, things were bound to get messier than they’d already been. And that was saying a lot. Nate had been enraged when I’d seen him, just lost in his own anger. Vince’s message felt like the beginning of something that couldn’t be undone.

When I arrived, the familiar salty scent of the harbour filled the air, and I parked my car, scanning the area until I saw him standing by the water, looking out over the edge. Vince was a large guy, even with his back turned, his silhouette a solid, immovable force that made it clear he was someone you didn’t mess with. I got out of the car and walked over to him, the weight of the morning hitting me with every step.

This meeting wasn’t going to be anything good.

As I approached Vince, the intention to bring up my plans for getting out of this mess circled in my mind. I knew he wouldn’t like it, fuck he might not even hear me out, but I had to try. This wasn’t what I wanted, and after last night with Y/n, after getting a glimpse of what my life could be if I left it all behind, I felt even more determined.

But before I could even open my mouth, Vince turned to face me, his expression harder than usual. His dark eyes held an intensity that made my stomach drop before he’d even spoken a word.

"Chris" he began, voice low and steady, "I need you to step up.”

I blinked, every thought in my head screeching to a halt. "Step up?" I managed, trying to keep my tone calm even though a hundred red flags were already flashing in my mind.

Vince nodded, his gaze unwavering. "With Danny gone, there’s a spot that needs filling. I can’t pick Nate, his court case a few weeks ago has him under too much scrutiny. Plus he’s too close to this right now. He's emotional, unstable. But you.. you’ve been around long enough. You know how things work.”

The weight of his words hit me like a slap in the face. He didn’t need to say it outright for me to understand. He wanted me to take on a bigger role, to fill Danny’s shoes. Danny, who’d just been killed.

I swallowed hard, fighting to keep my face blank, even as I felt panic clawing its way up my throat. My mind raced, every argument I’d prepared dissolving in the face of this new reality. I’d hoped to talk Vince into letting me out, to make a case for why I needed to distance myself from all of this. But this was the exact opposite of what I’d planned.

"Vince, I.." I stammered, trying to pull myself together. "I don’t know if I’m ready for something like that."

Vince’s gaze hardened. "There’s no time for second guessing, Chris. Crimson needs people we can rely on. You’re smart, you keep your head down, you don’t have a record, and that’s an advantage. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you could handle it."

The urge to tell him no, to beg for a way out, to walk away and never look back, surged up in me. But staring into his face, I knew the stakes. This wasn’t a life you just “walk away” from, and pleading wouldn’t make any difference to Vince. It might only make things worse.

The reality of it washed over me like ice water. Vince wasn’t giving me a choice. Danny’s death had created a void, and whether I wanted it or not, he was shoving me right into it. The world felt like it was closing in, my mind screaming as I grappled with what this meant for me, for Nate.. and for Y/n. She didn’t deserve this. None of this was supposed to touch her life.

But here I was, on the verge of getting dragged in deeper than ever when I should be trying to get out.

a/n : am I in too deep... have I lost my mind.... I CAN BE YOUR HERO BABAYYYY

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo @sophand4n4 @ilovepurpledragons

[ghostmoon1]

Dusted Rivalries - Chapter Four

Chapter Three | Master List | Chapter Five

Call of Duty Fic - Task Force 141 - Cowboy AU

Summary: After falling off your horse and quite the nasty broken arm, you and the boys seem to run into some trouble, or better yet, someone who was trouble.

Paring: You'll find out soon :3

Words: 2,361

Warnings: Swearing and arguments, mentions of smoking.

A/N: Happy to be posting something different to Comfy-vember as much as I'm enjoying it! Guys, I love this chapter. And a reminder, tag list is open and always will be!

John’s face was full of hatred, you’ve never seen someone so full of hate for someone and you noticed that the rest of the boys' features were similar, all full of complete and utter hatred. Just looking at them made you feel uneasy.

“Phillip Graves,” John spits, looking at the man that stood on the other side of the wired fence. If a stare could kill, you're sure he’d be a burning pile of ash in a matter of seconds.

“Who-?” you begin to speak, but Kyle was kneeling next to you in a matter of seconds hushing you softly, taking John's place of holding your arm gently.

“No time for those questions right now love…” he mutters, his fingers gently circling around our knuckles. His voice was soft, just for you. But he was biting his tongue to stay that way, to not sound like he was about to bite the man's head off.

You look up to get a better look at whoever was making the boys so pissed off, to see a man you were guessing was around six foot. Light brown hair under a black cowboy hat, piercing blue eyes that made you only want to look away. You could tell he was American by his accent.

You felt like you were watching a bull fighting match by the way John and Phillip were standing off to each other. The emotions they were emitting felt as if it was dragging you down into the ground, gasping for any sort of peace in an air full of anger and hatred. 

“John Price, been a while ain’t it? Should’ve come to say hello, we’re neighbours afterall, isn't that what neighbours do?” Phillip continues, his voice laced with sarcasm and mutual hatred.

“Can it, Graves,” Simon’s voice butts in, it sounded like he was spitting venom.

“Oh but I think it’s only fair if you introduce me to this sweet girl… or do you keep all your toys to yourself?”

“She’s not a toy you wanker! She’s a nice, independent woman,” Johnny snarls, still on his horse as he steps up right in front of Phillip so he and his horse were standing off.

Phillip scoffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Well, introduce me then,” he leans down to look at you, eyes studying your wounded form on the ground. “Tell me, what's your name love?”

Any words get caught in your throat. You didn’t like him, the way the rest of the boys reacted to him, and just that sinister feeling aura radiating around him. You stutter slightly, trying to get any words out of your mouth. You feel Kyle hold you a bit closer as you struggle, providing silent comfort. 

“She doesn’t need to answer any questions you ask, Graves,” Kyle mutters, loud enough for everyone to hear but you could tell he was holding back.

“Tsk tsk… If you want to be rude, so be it. I was just being respectful” he replies, the sound of lies and disgust dripping through his words. He leans against the wooden post, a sly grin forming on his lips. 

You hear Johnny mutter under his breath, something along the lines of ‘bullshit’ and ‘yer fuckin’ div’. 

“I was hoping to see y’all anyway… I have a... Proposition to make.”

“Fuck you want Graves,” Simon growls as he unmounts, his strides large as he moves to stand next to John. 

John puts his arm out in front of Simon, a silent way of telling him to back down and shut up. “What do you want?” he replies, in a voice far more calmer than Simon’s.

“I’ve heard about you boys having a little bit of, well… money troubles. So, to make life easier. I want to buy your farm,”

Your eyes widen as you realise what he wants. He wants to take all of this away from them? And just by your first time meeting him, you can tell it isnt to help them, it's all to help him. He doesn't care about them, he only wants to do what's going to give him an advantage. If they lose the farm, they lose their home. 

“You ain’t getting our fucking farm!” Simon yells, trying to push past John’s arm but being held in place instead. 

Everyone was watching in shock, anger and distress. You could feel Kyle’s arms tense around you, his gaze now fixed on both John and Phillip. Johnny was watching, his mouth slightly agape in anger and surprise that he even offered to do such a thing. Simon was obviously fuming, if it was possible there’d be smoke coming out of his ears and his face as red as a tomato. 

John was different though. His arms were crossed over his chest, but he didn't look angry like the others? He kept his face neutral, trying to show very little emotion, although his features looked like they were carved of stone. His breathing was calm, his chest rising and falling slowly as he just glared at Phillip. He shouldn't be this calm. Wouldn't he be shouting and angry like the others, or that’s what you’d do if someone offered to buy your farm only for their own growth.

“We won’t be selling,” he says calmly. So calmly it made you want to jump up and scream at him for him. Yell and shout that he wasn't taking their farm. It was theirs. They worked for it, not him.

“Oh really? We’ll see how it goes for you then hm? My offer is always open, come knock on my door if you rethink your decision,” he replies, his sly grin still on his face. He had something planned, you could tell. He didn't even look the slightest bit disappointed with the answer he got.

“That won't be needed, Graves,” Johnny pipes up again. His knuckles were turning white from how hard he was holding the reins, his features set stone cold as he stared him off.  

Phillip just chuckles as he moves to his chestnut horse, mounting it and flicking the reins. “We’ll see, we’ll see…” you hear him murmur as he rides off. You couldn't help but notice something silver reflecting on his belt in the sun, wire cutters maybe? You couldn't imagine what else they might be.

Simon lets out a huff that almost sounded like a growl as he retreated back to his horse, mounting in the most angry way you’ve ever seen. You might as well call it a growl. Johnny lets out a sigh before dismounting to kneel next to Kyle.

“Hey lass… yer okay? How much does it hurt?” he murmurs, his voice much sweeter than he was not long ago.

“It hurts… a lot,” you reply, your voice soft and strained in pain. You shift slightly, trying to get out of the way of a rock that’s been digging into your back, only to whimper in pain as it jostled your arm. Kyle immediately hushed you and made sure your arm was being held in place.

“You’ll be okay, we just need to get you back to the house,” he murmurs, brushing some locks of hair that fell in front of your face behind your ear. His touch was gentle and caring, making you feel cared for and safe, even if your current situation isn't ideal.

You watch as Simon and his horse trot over the fence line, suddenly coming to a halt. “Hey John? You might wanna’ come look at this…”

John walks over, grabbing a cigar out of his pocket and inspects whatever Simon pointed out. They spoke in hushed voices, making it near impossible to make out what they were saying. You huffed in annoyance, curiosity getting to you. What did they find? Were they going to share it with the rest of them?

“Alright. Johnny, Kyle, get her back to the house and put a sling on the poor thing. Simon and I gotta do something here, and make sure all the cattle are here,” he commands, sounding like some sort of captain.

Everyone nods, muttering their responses for jumping into action. Simon and John turn their attention back around as Kyle and Johnny focus on you again. 

“C’mon love, lets get you out of here. You think you’ll be okay to ride back with Johnny?” Kyle murmurs softly, carefully pulling you up a little higher on his lap.

“I can try, will riding really be the best way though?” 

“Well, unless you want to walk the whole way back. Which probably wouldn't be any better,” he says softly. He fixes up his grip on you, slowly helping you up and being careful not to bump your arm. 

“C’mon bonnie, lets get yer up ere’ hm?” Johnny says softly, mounting his horse who whinnys as he pats her neck. Kyle carefully helped you up, trying his hardest not to bump your arm. 

“We should grab Simon’s bandana as a makeshift cast,” Johnny says with a grin, laughing at his own remark.

“He’d kill you, you know that,” Kyle mutters, shaking his head. He continued to help you onto Johnny’s horse, wincing slightly as you bump your arm and whine in pain.

Once your seated in front of him, you gently hold your arm to your chest, being careful not to move it more than needed. Your heart starts to thump as Johnny’s arms reach around your sides for the reins, the warmth radiating from his skin. “Hol’ on lass. We’ll go slow, lemme know if it hurts too bad.”

With a slight flick of the reins, his horse comes to a walk. Every step sends a jolt of pain through your arm, making you grit your teeth to stop whimpers of pain escape your lips. Kyle mounts his own horse, tying Charlie’s reins to his saddle and getting him to walk alongside them. Charlie snorts and flicks his head up and down, still agitated from the events beforehand. If only you could ask him why, but of course horses don't talk like that. 

You turn your head to study Simon and John for a moment, Simon kneeling in the long grass and doing something, which you couldn't tell what he was doing. John was next to him, pointing out things and speaking words that sounded mumbled as the distance between you and them grew. His muscles flexed beneath his flannel as his arms moved, an addicting sight. 

Johnny mumbled soothing words in your ear as you rode, one of his hands coming to sit on your hip and trace small patterns in an attempt to soothe you and keep you stable on the horse. The trip back would be a long and painful one.

“We can’t sell the farm John! We worked hard for this, he fucking sat on his ass while he has his own fucking minions do the work for him!” 

Simon’s voice was gruff and hoarse as he yelled, breathing heavily and throwing an arm up in the air as he argued. You sat on the couch, arm now in a sling and praying that the pain relief will kick in soon. Yes, you probably should go to the hospital. But after hearing about their money troubles, you don’t want them to waste gas on you, driving you back into town.

“This is our life now, if we lose this what do we have?” Kyle adds, his brows furrowed as he speaks. His hands were interlocked on his lap as he leaned forward on the couch, sitting on the other side of the one you were on. Johnny was tucked in the middle while Simon paced the room and John stood up at the front of the room in front of the TV.

“You boys know I don't want to sell. We had a couple of cows escape after what happened earlier, and that’s another loss of money that we need. If it keeps going like this… we might have too,” he explains, his voice full of guilt and worry. He didn't want to sell, he knew this farm had helped the boys.

“Cap… where do we go if we sell? We know we wont do well if we do…” Kyle’s eyes flicker over to Simon as he speaks, making you more interested to why. 

“I know I know…” John groans as he flops onto the armchair. Dolly sat at his heel, licking up the attention and pats from everyone, licking his hand every few minutes to beg for more pats.

After a few moments of tense silence, Johnny pipes up again. “What happened to the fence? Were you able to fix it?”

John nods and looks down at Dolly, watching as the border collie’s tail thumps against the wooden floorboards.”Yeah we fixed it… we don’t know what happened to it though. It looked like a cow might've broken past it, but none of the cows were hurt and there were no signs of distress…”

You hum softly as you listen, cradling your arm to your chest as the pain continues to throb. It was only slowly dying down, but it was better than when it first happened. “Were the wires broken?”

Everyone looks surprised by your question, studying you as you awkwardly wait for an answer. “Yeah… Why do you ask?” John mutters, his brows furrowing again in thought.

“I think… I saw a pair of wire cutters on Phillip’s belt…” you trail off as you let them put the pieces together by themselves.

“You think he did it, lass?” Johnny asks as he moves forward more to study your face.

You nod, then watch.

Kyle grips his harders tighter together as his knuckles turn white, letting out a soft curse under his breath as he moves his gaze to the floor. Johnny lets out a chain of curses and scottish slang that you could barely understand, his accent becoming thicker in his anger. Your heart beats faster as Simon goes silent. That didn't look good. It made you feel uneasy, scared even.

“Fucking bastard is sabotaging us, he wants our farm and will do anything to fucking get it,”

[ Tag List: @sleep101 ]

[seeker-ophelia]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Ophelia’s Review, Part 1: The Emotion

Like most people on tumblr, I went into Veilguard for Solavellan. I needed a happy ending for them. I had obsessed and freaked and theorized for years. But before I delve into VG I need to explain some backstory. This is going to be as much a biography of me as it is a tale of my rook. And its going to be long, so you know, heads up. And Veilguard Spoilers.

I have been really struggling to get my thoughts into a coherent string after act 2 of VG. I feel like I can’t even review the game because I’m so emotionally wrecked, all I can do is tell a story. If you want to read this, be forewarned, its long, also, obviously spoilers, Veilguard. But… holy god my Rook. 

[Part 2 is here]

My first Dragon Age game was Origins, in 2009. I torrented it off Pirate Bay and played on my aging laptop that could barely handle it. And I loved it. I had never played a game like this before and loved the emotional and story-telling aspects of the game. I played as a Dalish rogue, Lelianna and Zevran were my best friends. Morrigan was the awe-inspiring yet traumatized goth-girl, and I fell for the golden-retriever bastard king of Ferelden.

I did not only watch on in broken-hearted horror as he ascended to his throne beside Anora without me, but I had him lie with Morrigan, the weirdo-turned-friend, because I trusted her, and frankly, I didn’t want to die.

And it broke me in a way the fantasy books I inhaled like oxygen as a child never did.

Because I chose to do those things. I made the choice. For right or for wrong, I was the one who decided their fate, even if those choices came back to bite me in the ass later.

I played Origins three more times over the next 5 years, through what I now call my University Years. I was broke, stressed, and overworked, and Origins became a comfort to me. I even properly bought the game with the DLCs the last time, because I had a little more money, and I figured a game that I had played and loved so much deserved it. (Never played 2, and that was my own fault). I discovered Fan Fiction because of Origins.

Then… I did some life things that I’m not going to air into the internet, but I kind of got my life together around 2016/17. I had a good job, a career even, and while I was by no means wealthy, I was okay.

And I heard about Dragon Age Inquisition, and remembered my old love for Origins, and gave it a go. I’ve always been a fantasy stan (I grew up with LotR), if you give me the option to play as a mage or an elf I’m going to do it. I wanted to romance Leliana, especially after her bad-assery in Redcliffe, but that turned out to be impossible. Because I never played 2, I didn’t know who Cullen was, and I romanced him (my love letter to Alistair). And while I liked the game, loved it even, I didn’t feel that emotional pull that Origins made me feel, and I put it aside. I’ve played some other games I’ve liked throughout the years, Fable, Skyrim, The Witcher, and I liked them all, but none of them really gut-punched me like that first fated Origins playthrough.

Cut to 2020, covid, and fuck if I didn’t have anything better to do, so I played DA2.

Oh man, I laughed at the graphics, oh it was so bad after Inquisition, how did anyone play this? And then I walked Darktown with Anders, walked slaver dens with Fenris, helped my Merrill with her Eluvian, and Isabela with her relic. And I helped my friend Varric in the deep roads. And I began to feel a tendril again of what I had in Origins. Who cared about the graphics, the gameplay, the locations, these people’s stories were what was driving this tale, and that was amazing and rare.

And I went into Inquisition with new eyes. I could not touch Cullen again, not after how he acted in Kirkwall. I knew Solas left, so I wanted to try and romance Bull (I’ve seen the youtube videos; ‘So you want to ride The Bull’). But I slowed down my playthrough this time, talked to everyone, actually spoke to Solas over and over in Haven. Indominatable focus indeed, hahren. What a curiosity you are. And I fell for fucking Solas.

A bald fucking hobo apostate, are you for real? Brain, get your head in the game. And my heart said, wait.

But he leaves! You know he leaves!  

Well, maybe I’m just destined to fall in love with emotionally unavailable fictional people.

And I played Descent and Hakkon for the first time, which were fantastic. And then I played Trespasser.

And Trespasser broke me. Just like Origins did.

And my Casual Dragon Age Days were done. I was feral.

But I also had a very demanding job. I could not just play video games for large chunks of time. I worked. A lot. I mean a lot. And in the fall of this year, I burnt out. I quit. I’ve got Real Shit going on in my life right now, and I’ve worked so much I can afford to take some time off.

And Dragon Age was there to welcome me, arms open wide, with Escapism 4.0, AKA The Veilguard. I spent hours crafting theories, making connections, playing Inquisition again, playing DA2 again, writing, actually writing Fics again. I read the comics, read TN, watched Awakening (twice).

I joined tumblr to stop being a lurker and actually participate. Joined Caitie and Kala’s patreons, just loving the hype and the theory crafting and the love for Veilguard. I love the Dragon Age world. It has helped me through so many tough times in my life, and its going to get me through this one, too.

I found community online. In tumblr, in reddit, in discord.

And I breathed Dragon Age for almost 2 months before Halloween. Solas this and Lavellan that and Fade and Magic and Titans and Gods and Love. Remember this, don’t forget about that, did you hear this theory, well what about the connection between…

To quote myself, Like most people on tumblr, I went into Veilguard for Solavellan. The companions came out, and I didn’t feel super strongly about any of them. I didn’t even feel strongly about my Rook. I had a general idea, especially because of Trick’s IGN interview, Rook/Mirror/Solas, but nothing really concrete.

And then Nadas-Dirthalen asked me about my Rook a few days before Halloween, and I had to think about it. I had to put down Solas and Lavellan, I had to put down my theories, put down the lore, and pick up this new thing. This Rook.

And I looked at it.

What did I want her to act like? What did I want her to look like? How did I want her to be? What drives her? Where is she from? What are her goals? What does she like? What does she hate?

And I weaved a new friend. Danivas (Dani, for short). Escaped rabbit slave out of Minrathous, her magic the only thing that saved her from hard labor in Dock Town or the mines, and then it was the only thing that saved her from the unwanted advances of the Tevinter Nobility. Rescued by the Dragons in her teens, she sought connection to her elvhen heritage with the Veil Jumpers, falling hard (platonically) for her mentor, her sister, Bellara. Everything she hated about herself, Bellara loved, and Bellara was flighty enough to need protecting, especially after Cyrian, so that’s what she became. Bellara’s protector. Arlathan’s protector. Protector of the small, and defender of the powerless. She will never apologize for saving Varric and the others at the cost of some stupid magic map, she would pay that price a hundred times over to save living beings.

And I made her in CC, I walked her through the streets of Minrathous, through Solas’ ritual, through Arlathan forest. My heart sang when I saw Harding again, and knew that Rook and Harding would be best friends. And I began to fall for the characters.

My Veil Jumper sister Bellara, poised but wickedly intelligent Neve, violent and troubled Lucanis, steadfast and resolved Davrin with playful Assan, towering yet growing Taash, and mystifying, immortalizing Emmerich, with his weird but I guess acceptable Manfred.

I helped Harding, Paragon of her time, discover her new mystifying magic, to find peace through pain, just as Bellara had done for Dani.

I learned all their stories. Their loves. How to interact with them, what they liked and didn’t like. And I fell, for Assan. That fucking griffon. Is so cute. How can you not love him? He’s just like Dani. Forced through circumstance to fight terrible evil, not necessarily against their nature, but certainly not what they would prefer to be doing. They are powerful and special and fierce and playful.

And, like any child, rebellious.

Dani helped Davrin through parenthood. He was a soldier, a commander, not a father, or a teacher, and though she was brash and sarcastic, she had been Bellara’s protector, she knew honey over vinegar, and pushed him to be gentler with Assan. Watched them grow together and felt such unhinged joy through their path to tulum. And then she looked up from digging her fingers into the feathers in Assan’s neck one day to see Davrin staring down at her, and thought, oh.

Her heart stuttered. And they flitted about each other for a long time. Teasing and testing, flirting and ribbing.

As she walked the steps of the Cobbled Swan to meet Morrigan, she told herself she would bring Davrin to Arlathan again, without Assan, and without any gingerwort tea. Just the two of them, and she would tell him what he meant to her.

But the Gods had different plans.  

And they had to move, NOW.

Davrin, the Grey Warden constantly surrounded by death and destruction, tried to warn me.

What if one of us doesn’t come back?

I actually let myself imagine the future.

Our future.

With our half-bird, half-cat kid.

And Dani, who had never had much hope for anything before, brought her hand to Davrins face with a soft smile, and soothed her Griffon Daddy, Var Lath Vir Suledin, Davrin.

When we win, when we beat this thing, we will come back here, and I will show you how much I love you.

Every Solas fresco I uncovered, I cried. Every memory, every revenant, even the ones I saw coming. I felt so much emotion for Solas, even as my love for Rooks Companions grew. Dani’s love for Davrin grew, in a very real, fast, surprising way.

But the Gods Eclipsed the Sun, and we had to move, NOW.

Of course I chose the Grey Warden to lead the charge against the Antaam. I needed Taash and Harding with me, and he was better suited to the roll. Harding is a scout, not a commander, and Davrin would have Lucanis for any sneaky mischief he would need, with Emmerich for any quick heals.

Imagine my relief when we met up again. I made a choice and he didn’t die, thank you, BioWare.

No, Neve, Bellara is better suited to deal with old Elvhen Magic.

And then Elgar’nan took her from me. Dani’s sister. Her home.

And she blasted through darkspawn and Blight to get to Elgar’nan, to get to Bellara.

But they had to get through Ghilan’nain first.

Fuck you Ghilan’nain if you think I’m fighting alone, my strength is my team, and I will move Fade and Titan to get to them. And Dani frees them, only to have Lucanis foiled, again. How do we get out of this? What do we do?

Upside down, she watches Davrin scale a crumbling tower, and their eyes meet.

No.

Whatever it takes.

Davrin, No.

His voice is deep and commanding, resolute and resolved.

“Assan!”

And Dani’s scream tangles with Assans as her son smashes into Ghillan’nain’s back.

The Blighted Goddess stumbles, and Lucanis and Dani fall to the ground, but Ghilan’nain’s blight is lightening, and when Dani looks up at Davrin two tentacles have speared him, his eyes wide and unseeing into the dark sky.

She screams again, Ghilan’nain forgotten, and as she watches Assan dive to the aid of his fallen partner, Dani is knocked back by a concussive blue blast; the Crow has fulfilled his contract.

The air is charged, the veil tearing here, Emmerich is yelling something at her, she must remove the dagger or this world will be torn asunder.

And then there’s overpowering, pressured silence. Grey and fog and stone and loneliness surround her, and all she can see or hear is Solas.

You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires.

Davrin. Assan. Bellara. My family. Is GONE. Because of ME.

Well, shit, kid. Haven’t you learned anything from this place? I made the choice, even knowing the risks. My decision, my sacrifice, and you don’t get to take that from me.

And Emmerich and Lucanis pull her from her prison of regret, and she knows she can’t blame herself, that would be taking away Davrin and Bellara’s agency, but you know who she can blame?

Solas.

The man my Lavellan loves. The man I swore to save. The one I started this game for. The one who made me feral for Dragon Age.

He did this to me.

Solas took away my love. By not being able to face his regrets.

And Dani became Hardened.

“Are you certain you’re alright, Rook?”

“We’ve still got work to do. I can collapse when this is over.”

“You needn’t carry this burden on your own. The rest of us will send word to our allies. You must take care of yourself in the meantime. We’ll speak again soon.”

But she was fine. She would be fine. Had to be fine. They had a job to do. Gods to kill. People to save.

It was walking past Assan’s spot in the courtyard that broke her.

Mourn Davrin?

To the Void with that.

I will avenge him.

I will kill the Elf who started all of this, forget Mythal, forget Lavellan, forget the Blight.

Mirror.

Solas cannot blame himself, that would be taking away the agency of his friends, but you know what he can blame?

The Veil.

I will end the curse that started all of this, forget Mythal, forget Lavellan, forget the Blight.

Mirror.

I will defend the small.

Mirror.

I will free the enslaved.

Mirror. 

You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires.

Mirror.

Its easier to play the villain, because that means you didn’t fail, all the damage you’ve done, all the people you’ve hurt…

Mirror.

It becomes a choice.

Mirror.

Remind yourself who you really are.

Mirror.

But will you listen?

Mirror.

Rook lays on the cold cobblestone, eyes wide, fist white-knuckled around the lyrium dagger, a battered and bruised Solas standing behind her. Her anger got her through her battle with Elgar’nan, but it will not help her here.

Rook will have to live with the choices she made. The successes and the failures. She can’t blame Solas. It's easier to blame Solas. But that’s exactly what Solas did, place blame where it did not belong, and it destroyed the world.

And her anger and hate and grief and despair swallow and consume itself into the tiniest, smallest fleck of a wisp.

Of hope.

She rose slowly, meeting Solas’ gaze, and places the dagger in his outstretched, bloody hand.

I don’t want to see any more pain on top of what Elgar’nan has done.

(Hope)

Your prison is made of regrets, and you are trapped in yours.

(I’ll not be trapped in mine)

Destroying everything won’t erase your mistakes.

(Killing Solas won’t bring Davrin and Assan back)

You have the chance, right now, to save the world. Bind yourself to the veil and stop it from failing.

And it takes the Mother, the Maiden, and the Mirror, for Solas to accept his past.

As Lavellan walked the din’an shiral after Solas, Rook walked it for Davrin.

As Varric released Dani from her regret, Mythal released Solas from his.

As Solas turns to the Eluvian, the Magic Mirror named Rook, he is forced to see his faults, and how to fix them.

His corrupted purpose is repairable. And he passes his torch to the Mirror, vowing to seek atonement for the sins of his past, sins grown and amplified because he refused to face the truth of them.

And that will probably hit everyone, because I’d wager good coin that if you’re playing video games, or reading fantasy, you’ve used escapism before, but it hits especially hard for me. Right now. At this point in my life. When my own personal veil I’ve constructed to hold back my own evils is crumbling around me because I have not faced the truth of my own past sins, my memories as demons grown and amplified and slipping through cracks because I refused them for so long. My choice.

And when Solas and Ellana walked into the sunset, I cried. And cried. And cried. Because this whole time I thought I was my Inquisitor, bare your blade and raise it high, look to the sky, for one day soon, the dawn will come, var lath vir suledin. Bellanaris. Perseverance, endurance, outlive, outlast, that is what you need.

When in reality I am my Rook. Let go of your regret. You don’t need to hold on to this, you need to let it go.

We all have to face our regrets. Accept them, and then let them go. Running from them only makes them worse.   

And I leave with the lyrics of the Veilguard Credits song, “Roll The Credits,” by Danielle Ponder:

I could feel it, I won't come down I could see it, oh, with all eyes Hold my head and saw the whole sky I never felt so damn alive And if there's smoke, then I'll be water If there's fire, I'll be rain

We were lost, but we weren't stranded We were dreamers on the run I gave my all, it was commanding And we just did this shit for fun I could feel it, I won't come down Found myself above the sky Tell my mama, tell my daddy That love is falling from the sky

Good God Almighty, I done opened my mind These holy waters left a chill down my spine

[millersgirl80]

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby (Part 2) 18+

Pairing: Dbf!joelxf!reader

Word count: 1.6k or so

Warnings: unprotected p in v (Joel pull out game strong af, keep it wrapped)

Summary: Joel goes on a date…

Notes: Sorry this took so long. I promise it'll get better! 😫🫣

I leaned against the kitchen counter, the scent of fresh coffee filling the air, when my dad comes downstairs on the phone.

“Just a girl from work. Trust me, you’ll like her. She’s cute and fun. Just hired at the office. Don’t be late!” Dad laughs before hanging up the phone. “Playing matchmaker?” I smile grabbing the coffee pot pouring my cup full. “Something like that, just sat Lisa and Joel up on a date.” I spilt the hot coffee on my hand as those words left my dads mouth. “Thought Joel didn’t date?” I say cleaning the mess up. “Yea, so he says. Maybe this will help him out” dad shrugs.

After sitting in my room after what felt like hours, I got a shower and got dressed heading downtown for some much needed shopping therapy. I went to a couple stores getting some new outfits for the coming fall. After shopping I headed to the diner to meet my friend hanna for some lunch. “So after you fucked, he just left?” He summarizes my experience with Joel. “Pretty much, he’s usually at the house everyday. It’s been a week and dad’s been going over there.” “He sounds like a dick.”

“I just don’t get it, Hannah. One minute he’s all over me, and the next it’s like I don’t even exist.” I say poking at my salad. “Maybe he freaked out?” She sighed. “Maybe” I look down at my untouched salad “It just feels so awkward now. I keep wondering what I did wrong.” I slide my plate off to the side. “Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong, well, I’m not saying sleeping with your dad’s best friend is right, but if this is what you want. Then go for it!” She smiles. “Go talk to him!”

“I would but he getting ready for a date tonight” I roll my eyes. “I’m just gonna go home and rot in bed with ice cream and watch friends” I huff paying for my food getting up. “Count me in!” Hanna quickly follows.

Joels pov

Joel!” Mike shouted across the diner, waving like a maniac. I sighed, dragging my feet toward him. The place was crowded, the sound of forks clinking and laughter filling the air. I spotted her before I reached the table—a girl with dark curls and bright blue eyes. She was smiling, I straighten up a bit.

“Hey, this is my buddy Joel,” Mike said, gesturing to me like I was an award-winning trophy.

“Hi, I’m Lisa!” she exclaimed, standing and extending her hand. I took it, feeling the warmth of her palm. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Yeah? All good things, I hope.” Mike winks to me and walks off. I chuckled awkwardly and slid into the booth across from her.

“Mostly,” she teased, raising an eyebrow. “But I’m sure you have a lot of secrets.”

I shrugged, trying to keep my expression light. “Nothing too scandalous.”

“Hmm, we’ll see about that.” She leaned in, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “So, what do you do for fun?”

“I mostly just hang out,” I replied, “You know, work and the occasional barbecue.” I shrug “Just hang out”

“Barbecue, huh? I bet you make a mean brisket.” She smiled, and I felt a flicker of something in my chest. It was nice to be here, but the thought of Darlin’ crept back in, making my stomach twist, like it has been for a week.

“What about you?” I asked, desperate to change the subject. “What do you do for fun?”

“I love hiking and photography. I actually went to Big Bend last month. The stars out there are incredible.” She sighed dreamily. “I took a bunch of pictures. You should see them.”

“Maybe I will,” I said, forcing a smile. The longer we talked, the more I felt the weight of my situation. Darlin’ was always there, a shadow in my thoughts.

“So, Joel, what’s your deal?” Lisa asked, her gaze catching me off guard.

I cleared my throat, trying to focus. “I work in construction. It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills.”

“Construction? That’s cool! Do you enjoy it?” she asked, leaning forward, her interest piqued.

“Yeah, I like working with my hands. It’s satisfying seeing something come together.” “built the gazebo down at the park. The one with the flowers?”

“You built that?” Lisa exclaimed. “That’s amazing!”

“Thanks,” I said, trying not to let the compliment go to my head.

As the night wore on, I tried to focus on Lisa, but every time I would focus on her. I'd find myself thinking about darlin bent over the counter in her kitchen. I was reminded of the invisible thread connecting us. After we finished our dinner we exchanged numbers and headed to our vehicles. “Do you wanna come back to my house with me?” I turned and asked Lisa “sure. Lead the way.” Lisa smiled out of her window. The drive to my house was quick, considering I was arguing with myself about whether I should do this or not.

When we arrived at my house, we raced to the door, I tumbled through the door, Lisa’s lips locked in on mine. Her hands expertly unbuttoned my shirt, as her fingers tracing the contours of my chest. My breath quickened as I undressed her, my hands shaking slightly as I revealed her soft curves.

I guided Lisa towards the bedroom, our lips never parting. I kicked my door shut, as I backed her up and laid her down on the bed, my eyes taking in her naked body, but I couldn’t stop the images of darling playing in my mind.

I positioned myself between her legs, taking a moment to try to get darlin out of my mind. "Fuck me, Joel," she whispered, wiggling her hips, her voice thick with desire.

I thrust into her, as Lisa moaned loudly, her nails digging into my back as she urged me on. The sound of our flesh slapping together filled the room, mingling with our loud groans. My guilt momentarily faded as i moved in and out of her body, my mind starts to betrayed me, flashing images again of darlings innocent face and soft moans. I thrust harder thinking of Lisa to push the thoughts away, but the forbidden fruit of my best friend's daughter was too tempting to ignore.

"Harder, Joel..I’m gonna cum!" Lisa cried out, her body bucking against mine.

I complied, pounding into her with renewed vigor, my own desire reaching a fever pitch. I felt her clench around me as she came. The sensation pushed me over the edge, and i pulled out finishing on her stomach, my body shaking with the force from my orgasm.

As my breathing slowed and returned to normal, I rolled onto my back, feeling a mix of satisfaction and guilt. Lisa snuggled up against me, her hand resting on my chest.

"That was incredible, Joel," she purred, her breath warm on my neck. "I can't wait to do that again."

I nodded, my mind already elsewhere. "Yeah, it was..."

She placed one last kiss to my cheek, before standing up and getting dressed. “I had a lot of fun tonight Joel. Call me anytime.” With a sweet smile, she walked out the door.

Darlins pov

After hearing about Joel's blind date with Lisa, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease. A couple weeks has passed since I seen or heard from Joel. I made my way to Joel's house . My heart raced as I climbed the stairs, my mind filled with questions and a growing sense of anticipation.

I knocked on the door, my knuckles rapping against the wood with a rapid rhythm that mirrored my racing pulse.

Joel, unaware of the visitor behind the door, open the door with an urgency. His handsome face, slightly weathered by the years, fell at the sight of me. "What are you doing here darlin?" He stepped aside, inviting me into his house, looking out behind to make sure no one saw me go in.

I entered, my eyes scanning the familiar surroundings, I turned around to face Joel, almost bumping into his chest. "Joel, I need to talk to you," I said, my voice laced with a mix of anxiety and determination.

Joel walked past me and led me in to the living room. "What happened between us was a mistake it shouldn't have happened and it’s not going to happen again.” Joel says sitting on the couch.

Taking a deep breath, I gathered her courage. "I heard about your date with Lisa."

Joel's eyes fall from my face as shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Yea, Mike set us up." He tried to keep his voice steady, but the guilt was evident in his expression.

"W-was it…Did it go well?" My voice softening. "

Joel's heart sank as he heard the pain in my voice."Yes, I had an excellent time.” Joel huffed

My eyes welled up with tears, I held my emotions in check. "Oh," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "Did you fuck her?" I asked bluntly, blinking the tears away. The words felt like knives, slicing through my heart, but I needed to know. “Thats none of your business darlin.”

“It is when you were inside me a few days ago,Joel.” I spt back at him. “How was it, was she better than me?” I asked. “Or was she just another body to you?”

Joel's face flushed, and he looked away, unable to meet my gaze.

"That’s great." My voice cracked, feeling my composure starting to crumble. "I uh… I should go, glad we could talk.” I quickly say, making my way back through the front door across the street to my car. Joel called after me a couple of times but I ignored him driving off.

I drove to Hanna's house, getting out of the car, and knocking on her door frantically. “He slept with her.” I walk past Hanna. “He, who?” Hanna ask rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Joel slept with Lisa!” I said plopping on her couch letting the tears fall.

“Oh you poor thing!” Hanna sits beside me rubbing my back. “What happened to me?” I asked wiping my tears away. “I use to be able to do this, sleep with someone and just act like nothing happened, but then I fuck Joel ONCE and I feel like I'm the clingy girlfriend!”

“Look at me, this situation is different, you've had your heart set on Joel as long as I could remember, maybe he does feel the same way and he just can't come to terms with it.” Hanna comforts me for a little bit longer until then tears fade away.

“I know what we need to do.” hanna smiles. “The day of the barbecue, come over and get ready here. We will go together!” she smiles.

I stay the night with Hanna not ready to go home or have the chance of seeing Joel again today. I often ask Hanna what she has in mind for the barbecue and she just responds with, “You'll see” and a smirk.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[galacticlamps]

actually ascension needs its own post since that's the one with the most details to speculate over and im starved for soho talk so i will talk to myself if need be

First the cover again, because I kinda can't get over it:

my only thing is that I had been hoping we might get Lizbeth on a cover again since she's never been on one of the boxsets before, despite being the 2nd person credited on all 4 of them (even if that's just alphabetical, still, she's the only one of the four main characters who never makes the cover)

But letting that go...

I know we already kinda knew the brief for this one but damn I didn't expect it to go quite this hard. Maybe that's just because the Parasite & Ashenden covers were (comparatively) similarish to each other and I was so pleased with Unbegotten's, and then got so used to it as the placeholder for Ascension while they kept postponing it, I wasn't expecting anything this colorful or detailed or with what I can't help but register as Fun New Outfits even though these are still like, pretty damn basic as far as costumes go. Still, it's a different vibe from everyone in suits and trenchcoats on every cover, technically. (Oh the woes of being an audio fan such that two characters owning sweaters actually does qualify as new information)

On top of just being visually delightful though, I know we knew religion was gonna be a fairly big part of this one, but I didn't actually expect to get quite this much of it - though I'm glad of it for a number of reasons. The BF twitter already made the ineffable joke so I don't have to, but also yeah I did very much spend all of season 2 episode 4 of good omens half convinced Samuel Barnett & Dervla Kirwan were about to pop up around any given corner (if you will go around being gay supernatural and horrible at your messy bureaucratic jobs in midcentury soho then I'm sorry, this is where my brain's gonna go) - so, fuel to that fire. But in terms of actual important things, at least one of my Soho wishes looks to be being granted because we have a Rev Edward Folgate on the cast list, which must mean we're finally meeting Norton's father, even if his mother & brother don't appear (which they could, technically, I've definitely seen BF not list all the doublings on their cast tabs before). Religion, domesticity, and the nuclear family are all things that absolutely fascinate me when it comes to Norton's character, so getting any amount of story involving his father & his church is something I've been actively hoping for for a long time now.

(I will say I'm a tiny bit bummed Saffron Coomber isn't on the cast list to play Mia again, but I kinda figured she wasn't going to be since Greg Austin's Armitage, who's making his first recurring appearance after originating in Unbegotten, was listed ever since the boxset was announced - presumably if she was also returning, that would've been handled in the same way. But since Unbegotten ended with Lizbeth and Mia going on a date, I still held out hope. Who knows though, maybe things did go well for them and Lizbeth just has a better work/life balance than Norton so she can date someone without them getting dragged into every scifi plot. I know that's not a very common accomplishment for any Torchwood agent, but a gal can hope)

At this point I know I'm completely in the realm of speculation & even wishful thinking, but I'm really really hoping we get some more clues as to Norton's overall timeline in this one, and I have a feeling that even if there's nothing as direct as dates given, the events of a plot like this one are going to heavily influence my personal interpretation of it.

To say that life & death are major themes for the soho crew feels wildly reductive, but even by Torchwood's standards and taking into account its origins as a piece of media with Jack Harkness & his newfound immortality at the heart of it, the living/dead status of this bunch has always been fantastically up in the air to me. Obviously Ghost Mission introduced Norton as kind of a ghost before revealing more obvious ghostly characters later on to which the title might have been referring, but his being from the past did beg the question of his survival into Torchwood's present era all the same, which Outbreak later alludes to much more directly, and his habit of showing up via hologram in multiple stories only further obfuscates any certainty we might have about where & when he definitely can be said to be alive and well. Then you've got Lizbeth and Gideon both being effectively 'brought back to life' via paradoxes that prevented them ever having died in the first place. Again, they are very very far from being the only Torcwhood characters this happens to (for a sprawling EU, it's really rather impressive how often & in how many different ways Torchwood as a whole manages to circle back to being about like. chaotic undead queers at the end of every day. though I suppose that consistency is part of why I keep falling in love with its different iterations again and again). That's without even getting into the question of Norton's dubious fate in God Among Us - and I say dubious because I know some people take that to be his ultimate death, but I personally think that reading something as vague as that as having any kind of finality rather goes against the spirit of this whole world/series, not just because I want him to live. (There are obviously other ways to make him survive/reappear, but I don't see this as a River Song scenario where we can safely assume one of his earlier-released adventures had to happen at the end of his personal timeline). But wherever God Among Us falls for him, he does very much meet God in it - or at least, a god, since the sentinel in Unbegotten is also described as a god of sorts, and even if he doesn't ultimately have the status of the god Jacqueline King is playing there, Unbegotten is still full to bursting with ghosts/undead/came back wrong/echo characters to continue underscoring that life/afterlife theme.

So all things considered, even allowing for the fact that we know Norton's twin hobbies are lying about himself and abusing time travel to suit his own ends/ever-shifting alliances, I find it difficult to believe we could get through a whole 6-part boxset about religion & death without something providing some kind of compelling evidence about where this adventure fits in among his other run-ins with apocalypses and gods and ghosts and dead-but-still-here characters/creatures, so I'm very much looking forward to any further exploration on that front.

And lastly, and least intellectually, I really want to know what the hell 20th-century Torchwood's obsession with Reginalds is. Reading through the cast list, I had to do two separate doubletakes over the character 'Sir Reginald Peebles' - firstly, because I had Reginald Rigsby on the brain, this being Soho (and the other Troughton brother being so active on BF's releases for this same month) - and secondly, because reading this in conjunction with the announcement for the July monthly adventure in which the new main Torchwood guy of the 20s is apparently called Sir Reginald Dellafield, there was a brief moment where I took that monthly release to be a tie-in with Ascension. I don't expect it to be, but damn. was it really so popular a name?

anyways, catch me thinking about those stained glass windows for the next couple months I guess (and knowing Torchwood Soho, for a long long time after it comes out as well lol)

[riaki]

i literally cant stop thinkin’ about highschoolbully!gojo who used to be your ride or die ‘til he started getting attention from those popular jock type guys who are always assholes to everyone. and him being.. well, him means he preens under attention no matter who it’s from, so naturally he started to gravitate towards that group and their little troop of cheerleading fangirls. and then he started distancing from you and without either of you really realizing it, you’ve slipped between the other’s fingers. but the way he acts towards you makes you think he let you fall without moving a muscle to slow you down.

soon enough, a year swings by and by the end of it he’s gone from your life, save as just another face in the gaggle of boys who make crude jokes and laugh at smart kids and pop milk cartoons during lunch just for the hell of it. but you’re minding your own business, ‘cause you’re mature enough to realize that people come and go, no matter how close you might’ve been and you think it’s unfortunate that so many memories could be thrown aside in a blink of an eye, but it makes a lot of sense when you walk past satoru and his friends bullying some random kid. you don’t know him, but you’ve heard enough to realize it’s his girlfriend satoru’s flirting with while his ‘gang’ kick at the kid. and it’s sickening, but you don’t say anything when you walk by.

and when you don’t ever see the kid afterward and catch the dark eyebags under his girlfriend’s eyes, you come to the cruel realization that satoru isn’t the boy who’d bandage the scrape on your knee you got from tripping in the playground or buy you a soda because he’s noticed your sweat when you were walking home and you don’t have any money left on you.

it’s a glass half empty, half full type of situation. on the one hand, you don’t have him anymore. on the other hand, you don’t have him anymore. that is, you lost your best friend, but you’ve also lost someone who has the potential to absolutely ruin your life. and you don’t know whether to be glad or not, so you just mind your own business even if it hurts a little when he ignores you, stops tossing paper at your head in class (unless it’s to embarrass you) and stops walking you to and from school.

but the cherry on top of the shit cake is that he doesn't get it. so when he approaches you in the library one day after satiating the need to tear pages from books and make them into paper airplanes to throw at people, he doesn't seem to understand why you try to ignore him, or put off his attempts to hold a convo. but the worst part is that he's just sleazy and clueless about it. it's like he took an eraser and wiped every single year of your friendship off the chalkboard with one fell swipe, and you wish he'd done that too to the less-than-appropriate messages he and his friends had written towards one of your classmates.

he doesn't understand why you're hesitant to talk, and that's what makes it the worst. he always thinks he's in the right, and he keeps setting you off and it sucks that he knows exactly what sets you off. "i'm an asshole? what're you talking about? really, you're in over your head. you never change." he laughs, and you ignore him, and he gets bored, and he's about to leave when he spots your wallet open next to your book, on the table. there's a polaroid peeking out, and he recognizes the tufts of white hair to be him. but there's a weird feeling in his chest, and he thinks he gets it from you, so he leaves because he thinks you're weird.

and it goes on; you practically become a nobody in satoru's eyes, because of that weird, weird feeling you give him. it's unfamiliar and he's never gotten it before and he doesn't like it. but it's unavoidable when your professor pairs you two for the end-of-term project. and of course, you're ready to do all the work, because that's how it always was between you when you were kids. but sometimes he'd surprise you by helping, and he'd show you that he was actually intelligent just to earn your praise because he liked it. but he ignored you, and you did everything, and it would've been okay if not for his friends egging him on to present your entire project when the day came and leave you with no content for a grade.

that's the first time it hits him: does he really want to do that? but it's not like it'll be the first time; you've always taken the hits for him, because you're naturally smart and you'll pick yourself back up in no time, and you get why he does it, so it'll be okay. so he agrees, and he enjoys the time he gets to spend with you through it, but the nagging weird feeling that blooms in his chest like a pesky weed only grows stronger. that's all his feelings ever seem to do around you.

but before you know it, presentation day swings around. you had coffee this morning (on his card), and you're ready enough to shoot him a small smile that sends his heart a-flutter. so you go up, feeling up to the task and ready until— he starts talking, and talking, and talking, and people don't think that he's taking your words out of your mouth because he's intelligent when he wants to make you praise him and you don't get the chance to get a word in and you notice the guys are laughing and hitting each other's shoulders to themselves in the upper rows and before you know it it's over. people are clapping but moreso they're looking at you and they're whispering— but it's terribly loud and they don't bother to hide it. they call you things that shouldn't bother you but they do anyway, because it's satoru's fault, and you're such a fool for thinking you could have it your way again.

so you leave class early, excusing yourself and ignoring the way your professor gives you a distasteful look and scribbles something next to your name. you're out the door in a second, neglecting your bags and satoru's a little lost because— didn't he just do good? people were clapping, and laughing with him and not at him, but it's attention either way so he doesn't mind. so why do you? why did you look at him like he stabbed you in the back? and his friends are calling his name, and he wishes he could chase after you and do something but he doesn't.

and it's a little sickening what they do next; one of their girls grabbed your bags and tossed it to them, and they've started rifling through it as if they own it, tearing up your shit and dumping everything onto the ground and he's kind of just... glued to the chair by his feelings. his heart feels like it's been patched together and the weird fuzzy feeling he had in his chest that's been cultivating has extinguished to be replaced with something he realizes he's only ever felt when it comes to you— guilt.

he's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realize his friend is silently offering him something— nudging his side to get his attention. he takes it without really realizing he moved his hand, and his silent friend with the gauges in his ears and the dark hair gets up and leaves without another word. when satoru looks down, he realizes he's been given your wallet. "the reward for betraying your baby," they call it. like all you're worth is the money in your account.

he's a little curious. that's how he's always been; asking you questions, rummaging through your stuff, laughing sheepishly and shaking it off when you caught him red-handed. so he opens it up, ignoring your sad little cards and the funny look on your license. he's looking for something, subconsciously; but he doesn't find it. there's no white tuft of hair to suggest his presence in your life; just empty black leather. nothing else.

and he doesn't see you after. or the following day. or the following weeks; weeks that turn into months that turn into the end of school and he's graduating but you're not by his side. and neither are his so called 'friends'; the only thing he has to their name is your own ruined friendship. it's a shame; he feels alone. very alone. no fuzzy weird feeling, not even that thing people call guilt. no attention to chase, and connections are ever harder to make. it shouldn'tve mattered that much, right? it was just a presentation. why wouldn't you just come back to him like you always did? were you not still friends...?

but the blood is still on his hands, and he doesn't manage to ever wash it off. guilt has a way of festering; of weighing on the heart 'till there's nothing left to feel or think but unfortunate circumstance and what could've been done differently. it just sucks that he never tried hard enough to keep you from slipping between his grasp. and now, he doesn't even have a polaroid to your friendship's name.

pt.2