#but I feel I’ve done everything I can in addressing these issues with you kind stranger

[gyudons]

despicable

updates as of 22 oct

Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.

“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.

“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”

“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.

“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”

As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.

“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.

“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.

“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”

It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.

“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.

“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.

“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”

[chrissy-kaos]

Went out with this gem today. I had to hit up my favorite burrito spot before my surgery tomorrow morning. I won’t be able to eat solid food for a long time. So I wanted something good for my last meal.

**Little life update**

Some of you are probably like wtf surgery? What many of you probably don’t know is I’m sick. The really bad kind of sick. The sick you don’t come back from. I’ve made a few post about it in the past. I don’t really want to get into it right now tbh. My Doctors and I are doing everything we can to get me moderately healthy again but in all honesty it’s not going well. Initially it was but now it is not. 

We’ve encountered some serious complications and they need to be addressed asap. We found these out at the end of November during a MRI of my kidneys. I was very lucky a specialist was able to notice the anomalies in my scan. When I was told if I’m being honest it was a hard pill to swallow. Those of you that seen that post know how it went. All the work we had done before this was basically for nothing.

We’re hoping that this surgery will alleviate some of my current health issues. This could be the cause of some of them. It’s going to be a long process and multiple treatments/surgeries and recovery this year. But I’m hopeful that everything will work out ok.

So with all that said I probably won’t be posting much for the next few weeks. I’ll probably do a before surgery post and one after. But that’s probably it for a little while. I gotta focus on my health because it’s rapidly deteriorating.

In the event that something wild happens I just want to say I love all of you and thank you for everything. This platform has given me the courage and confidence to be myself. That’s all because of each and every one of you. The stories I get in my DMs inspire me to be the best I can be for you. I know a lot of people look up to me.. that’s still wild tbh. To be a role model for someone is the greatest honor and feeling ever. Nothing compares. So thank you.

I’m going to leave my blog up. If a trans person stumbles across it. Hopefully it will inspire them to be themselves unapologetically. Know it’s never too late to be your true identity. Follow your dreams and know you’re loved. Enjoy life because it’s precious. Share your story. Inspire others and LIVE FOR YOU. The world is much better off with you here. I promise you.

[shadowkoo]

I just needed to come here and vent for a moment. As a writer, I put a lot of time and thought into curating my ideas and outlining fics before I even begin writing. So, you can imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to a tumblr notification that someone had tagged me in a post titled “[My Fic Title] Part 2.”

Naturally, I was a bit shocked. After scrolling through it, I realized that this user had written a second part to one of my fanfics, and they tagged me to credit me for the original story.

While I won’t name the specific fic or the user (they did remove it per my request), I feel the need to address this publicly with a quick PSA.

My characters, storylines, cliffhangers, and everything in between are my intellectual property. Yes, the characters are inspired by real idols, and yes, some of my plots exist within established TV/film/book universes. But the ideas, twists, and execution are mine, and I’m the one who will decide how they unfold. (For clarity, the fic in question isn’t set in another media universe, but I wanted include this line since it is relevant for a couple of my other works).

I appreciate that this person enjoyed my fic enough to be inspired to write something themselves, but to be completely honest, I don’t think what they did was okay. I have some serious issues with this, and I want to share them to hopefully prevent this from happening to me—or anyone else—again.

First off, I find it incredibly rude that they didn’t reach out to ask my permission beforehand. Had they done so, I would’ve immediately told them not to go forward with it. Instead, I found out through a tag after the fic had already been posted, which felt like a slap in the face. To make matters worse, because of time zone differences, the post was live for hours while I was asleep, gaining traction.

I know that in the fanfic community, it’s somewhat common to write alternate endings or continuations for larger works from big-name authors or shows, but that’s not what’s happening here. I’m a hobby kpop fanfic writer. Writing a fanfic of my fanfic just feels out of line.

To be blunt, it felt like they were piggybacking off the success of my story, trying to steal some of the excitement I’d built for an upcoming second part. It also seemed like an attempt to siphon engagement, followers, and interactions from my readers—people who were already invested in the original work.

What bothers me even more is that I’ve publicly mentioned I’m already working on a second part. It left me with a bad taste, like this person was trying to rush out their version before I could post mine. That kind of move creates confusion for readers and, from where I stand, feels calculated and disrespectful.

So let me make this crystal clear: No one has my consent to rewrite my work, create additional parts to my fics whether they’re complete, on hiatus, or in-progress, whether or not i have mentioned that i'm writing another part, or to publish alternate endings, etc.

Thank you for understanding. - Raven

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! Do you have any tips how to not lose interest in a story and be enough interested to start/do write if? Personally I just get hyperfixated on a story idea I have, do the brainstorming, even the planning, sometimes world building and if I get serious I make lists about almost everything but never end up writing even if I have interest still, but at most cases at the point I could start writing I just loose interest and get bored of a story when I'm done figuring out what it'll be about and maybe because I don't really like thinking about the climax or the end of the story...

Hyperfixation on Planning Story, But Can't Write It

I do have some tips on rekindling your interest in your story, which I'll link below, but first I think it's worth addressing the specific issues you mentioned: that you don't like to think about the climax or end of the story.

Have you thought at all about why you feel that way? There are a few potential reasons I can think of:

1 - Your story doesn't have a conflict, so your story doesn't have a natural climax or ending. Stories revolve around conflict, or in other words a problem that needs to be solved. This problem could be in the character's heart and mind (internal conflict), in the character's situation/life/world (external conflict), or you can have both at the same time. Many stories these days have a parallel internal and external conflict. Stories are ultimately about someone (or a bunch of someones) trying to solve a problem. In order to solve that problem, they need to reach a particular goal or accomplish a particular thing. The bulk of the story will be their struggle to reach this goal as they overcome the obstacles along the way. The climax of the story is where they face down the cause of the conflict once and for all, whether that's a villain (like an evil wizard or corrupt corporation) or a force (like illness or a natural disaster) and try to solve the problem once and for all. Everything after that is the aftermath... whether they succeeded or failed, patching up their "wounds" from the "battle" (again, it doesn't have to be actual wounds or an actual battle), and settling into the post-conflict life. That's your ending.

2 - You have a conflict, but haven't figured out how it would be resolved, so the climax and ending are fuzzy. If you have a conflict but aren't sure how it would be resolved, it might help to think of the conflict as a problem that needs to be solved. For example, in The Hunger Games, the conflict was the Hunger Games Event... the problem was that Katniss volunteered to compete which put her life at risk. So the solution to the problem was to survive the event.

3 - You know what the climax and ending are, but you are enjoying the characters and world and don't want the story to end. This is one I think many writers can relate to. It can be really hard to let go of a story when you've enjoyed writing it, have gotten attached to the characters, and feel comfortable/familiar with the world. It can also be a little scary to think about diving into a whole new story. But, we do have to learn to let go of stories when they're finished and let them come to their natural conclusion. You can always go back to the world and characters, even if just for yourself, later on. It wouldn't be weird to write "fan-fiction" of your own story, and many writers turn these kinds of stories into prequels, sequels, companion series, and companion short stories that their readers enjoy, too.

Here are some tips for getting excited about your story again if you just need your motivation rekindled:

Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes! Getting Excited About Your Story Again Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists Feeling Unmotivated with WIP

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking | ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[socksorstockingz]

I don’t really post much on here, but as someone who’s been in the Nevermore fandom for a while (following some tags on tumblr and being on the discord, though my activity there has significantly dwindled after it became bigger), but in light of the drama that’s gone on I feel like I’d like to give my opinion, if only for my own peace on the matter.

As a response to the whole situation and in context with other stuff I have heard of going down on the discord, I think Red’s long post was kind of a necessity, as only addressing the current biggest drama (that related to Crimson) would likely stir up people into saying in bad faith that she’s ignoring other issues that have gone on in the discord, and you can tell from Red’s standpoint that all of this has kind of been an accumulation of months and months of shit, on a scale she, Flynn and the mods have admitted to not being entirely prepared for, as their prior experience in discord moderation was on the Shiloh discord, which is significantly smaller, and thus more tight-knit. I’ve seen some people claiming that 95% of the post is calling out others rather than apologizing, but, having read most of the post thoroughly, Red seems quite apologetic and guilty throughout, thought their frustration is also noticeable. I understand why some people are unhappy with the fact that she namedropped some people she believed were involved in particularly toxic situations within the discord — which, I might add, was likely used as better context for her thought process and decision making throughout this whole mess, rather than her intentionally trying to throw in non-sequitors and victim blame, as I’ve seen thrown around. Admittedly, showing the discord/tumblr names of users — some of whom are apparently minors — is somewhat immature, as it could risk them being targeted by harassment (though Red did state in post not to pursue these people, and, in context, was likely airing out the names to ensure people didn’t throw around accusations and assumptions at random users). In that area, I believe Red could’ve been more careful.

As an apology for what she and the mods have been accused of recently, I think the post worked well, with her kind of structuring the piece like an apology sandwich: providing an upfront apology to a group she unintentionally harmed in her initial discord response, stating the full context of the situation, then reiterating her apology at the end. Some may call it tactless or manipulative, but, in my personal opinion, the long “filling” of the apology sandwich was necessary to provide an explanation, but not an excuse for her mistakes. You can tell a lot of this has been boiling in the background for a long time, and, though this extra information has provided more fuel to the Red-hate-train fire, it also helps inform people who may have been on the outskirts of the situation of some of her observations while moderating, which ultimately led to the mistakes made in the most recent situation.

Do I think Red made mistakes? Yes, absolutely. Do I think Red could have worded things better or tried to tackle the situation differently? Yes, as well. But, despite its flaws, I think what Red has done to address this situation and try to atone for/improve from it demonstrates greater humility than a lot of other creators I have heard of and known. When she said she and Flynn would step back from the community and find new mods to hopefully rebuild the community’s trust in both them and eachother, she Meant it, as, if you look on the discord, Red and Flynn have tags under their profiles indicating that they have banned themselves from the space. Some may see this as them running away from the mess, but, as I see it, they have said their piece here, and are, as Red has stated, trying to focus on themselves and the development of Nevermore, rather than digging themselves deeper into the trenches of everything that has gone down, which I find quite admirable, even if some of their actions during this whole debacle were questionable. I’m not saying there is no criticism to be had, but I think the sheer dogpiling that has gone on in the past few days (even before Red had posted either of her responses) is utterly baffling. I get wanting to hold creators accountable, but you’ve gotta remember they’re humans too, and immediately spouting some of the most heinous shit about them isn’t going to help them improve, you improve, or help the victims find peace in the situation. And, based on some of the posts I’ve seen, it seems like some people were holding onto a lot of information until after the first big post about the drama hit tumblr, then suddenly started unloading that onto their blogs to continue stirring the pot and adding to the dog pile. It kind of feels parasocial, and like they were just Waiting for this opportunity to drag the creators down. Maybe I’m misinterpreting the posts, and maybe more things are coming out now that people feel more validated in their opinion by having other peoples’ anger on their side, but it just feels kind of… disturbing.

I’ve heard of this happening in other communities before, and I guess, considering its size, something like this was bound to happen to the Nevermore community at some point. Maybe I was just naive to think that we could avoid shit like this, but it’s happened, and people are hurting, and things are confusing and scary. But, if there’s any advice I’d give to people who have been doomscrolling through this (like I have lmao :’) ), it’s important to take a step back from this situation, and take a step back from your keyboards, and just collect your thoughts for a second. Because, after a while, it’s just hurting yourself over and over because you feel betrayed that something like this could happen in a community surrounding a piece of media you love. Perhaps I’m being hypocritical in saying this, but… I really think it’s important to distance yourself if you need to, and take some time to yourself to process everything.

[polyamorousmood]

Hi there,

I was wondering if you’d be able to offer any advice on my situation? I’m in a 6 year t4t monogamous relationship with my girlfriend, I love her very much and we’ve grown a lot together.

Our sex life has been dry for a few years, we’ve kept good communication about this and it’s due to a combination of her HRT tanking her libido, and her bottom dysphoria. She wishes it were different and we’ve tried a few things but nothing so far has helped, and as it stands there’s very little we can do to change this. I do my best to not shame her and thankfully she’s confirmed that I’ve been nothing but supportive and respectful of her.

Unfortunately I do have a sex drive, and although I get off regularly I’ve been daydreaming about fucking others for a long long while. I’ve not acted on it but my rumination routinely consumes hours of my day, and I think that I just need to get railed in order to get out of my head?

Luckily my partner and I have never been jealous types, and from the beginning of our relationship we’ve spoken with positivity and curiosity about opening up in some way, shape, or form. However, it feels wise to start any open or poly dynamic from a point where our relationship is healthy and well so that no one is being used to ‘fix’ to our relationship, and I can’t work out if seeing other people to fulfil my need for sex outside of my nesting partner should be viewed in that way or not?

We both imagined that we’d be dating others at the same time, but as it stands our dynamic would be unequal if I’m the only one excited to do that atm. I’m concerned that wanting to explore a sex life (or maybe more, unsure?) outside of my relationship could end up hurting my partner and anyone new, and I also don’t want to treat people like sex dispensers (if they’re not into that).

I’d appreciate any advise on how to proceed in a kind way, if at all! I’d also love some book recommendations on polyamory if you have any, I want to make sure that I’m well researched before making any decisions.

Thank you for reading, and responding if you do!

🗣📣Casual sex is not Bad. You are allowed to have someone in your life just for sex. It's fine actually.

sorry, I don't even think that's the meat of the issue, it's just the part of this that has the clearest answer. As long as the other person knows all you want is casual sex, it's fine to only have them around for casual sex, whether they're specifically "into" being "used" or not. It's not a kink of mine but it's still something I've done and enjoyed.

So onto your other concerns. You have once again hit upon the fundamental polyamorous virtue: communication. Whether something is okay to do depends entirely on you and your partner(s) so you need to be in constant communication about how everyone is feeling about things.

You're allowed to date someone when they're not, if they're cool with it. You're allowed to casually fuck someone without them if they're cool with it. Etc etc etc.

IF mismatched sex drives is the ONLY problem in a relationship, and they're not going to "take care of you" even when they're not feeling it (no judgement)[if you haven't already explicitly discussed this, start there], then that problem cannot be solved by any other means than you getting sexual fulfillment through other means (speaking from experience😅). And if masturbation just ain't cutting it for you, then it logically is impossible to open the relationship having previously solved this problem. If you have other problems you're ignoring because this one is the easiest to hang everything on, that's a different situation. Having said that, you need to apprise potential partners of the situation -- that you're testing the waters, and if it causes too much

I honestly think the best move here is just to tell her straight up its something you're really struggling with right now, and ask her what way of addressing it feels best to her. Maybe that's weekly unreciprocated head, or you getting a FWB, or you guys trying something new that might not be so triggering for the bottom dysphoria (there is a whole WORLD 🌍🌎🌏of possibilities, my friend), or a threesome, or phone sex, or maybe investing in one of those fucking machines would be worth it for you idk. HOWEVER, before you have that conversation, you need to be as sure as you reasonably can about what degree this is negotiable for you. Think HARD about whether you'd still want to sleep with someone else even if you were fucking her every night. Then, when you broach the subject with her, be honest. That may make the conversation difficult, but a relationship of 6 years should be able to take it. Maybe come prepared with reassurances you love her and don't want to jeopardize the relationship, though, just to be safe.

[velvetvexations]

My strong sense is that the really horrible experiences that girl was talking about on the male socialization post as proof of not being treated like a boy… kind of demonstrate your point in that “socialization” pretty much always falls on queer people who don’t conform as “violence to try to force you into conformity because they can see you aren’t”. Which is maybe what “transfem socialization” is trying to get at—that attempts to socialize gender-conforming boys which “stick” and attempts to socialize gnc ppl (whether they turn out to be gnc or femme guys or nb or women etc) for whom it isn’t “sticking” can over time start to look different from each other and the latter in particular can be pretty brutal, even including things like sexual and physical abuse. I get the desire to have some sort of specific language that speaks to the particular violence of socialization-of-the-nonconforming, but idk that “transfem socialization” is the best term in that it happens to anyone who’s gnc and/or intersex (hence treated as biologically ‘nonconforming’ and often subject to medical abuse sometimes literally from birth). It happens to transmascs, butch women, gnc women too, including the sexual/physical abuse part; one of the things I was struck by is actually how many of the traumatic things she described as being done to her when people were treating her as “not a real man” happened to me (right down to the locker room shit) at the hands of girls as a cis butch lesbian. Which doesn’t make her trauma any lesser, or unconnected to her gender nonconformity/“failure” to “be a boy properly” at that age or her transness now! She’s far from the only egg to endure abuse and bullying and discrimination while egg-ing, from everything I’ve seen it’s really common.

But, the point is that it really fucking sucks to have someone try to force you to be someone you aren’t, and I think for some people their experience of the language of socialization has been almost exclusively TERFs using it to *shut down* the type of discussion that would raise this exact sort of thing: sometimes the answer to “What would YOU know about [form of trauma that’s extremely common for women & queer/gnc people both] you were Raised As A Boy” is “Bitch that’s WHY I know so much about it,” actually. TERFs just can’t see that because them the entirety of “male socialization” is “going to Male Privilege School, where you learn how to use your privilege over women to abuse them”, which sucks because they do actually identify a lot of the violence and trauma that gendered socialization does… but only when it’s to girls, and they’re often loathe to address the maltreatment of gnc girls because it comes too close to acknowledging that sometimes not every “girl” who doesn’t conform ends up being or staying a girl and because it often means acknowledging that women and girls have just as much capacity to be abusers as men and boys (see: locker room assault above).

But because of that there are probably always going to be some trans folks whose knee-jerk response is to see a phrase that reminds them of other posts that have triggered them and stop reading. You did your best there but it’s not your fault that she didn’t end up agreeing. You weren’t wrong, she just might’ve not been in a place to hear it (and I hope she feels better).

You are more generous to the motivations of people who misinterpret these things than I am. Thank you, though. Being more empathic than a narcissist with severe anger issues is necessary.

[goodboyaudios]

i’m evil like that muahaha~ also!!!!! congratulations on 40k!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m sure you’ll be getting way more recognition in the future:D

since you gave permission:

you said you’re finishing off uni, did you always know what you wanted to study? i’m at the (depressing) stage in life where i’m fully realizing how many curve balls life throws at you:) the path to success usually isn’t linear, so i’m curious about your journey!

it seems like you’re always asking for feedback or addressing issues, etc. do you have any feedback for us (as in, the community)? most people i’ve interacted with are pretty chill, but idk maybe there’s we could improve on?

this one might be a bit personal, so feel free to ignore! do your friends or family know about your channel/work? i’d imagine it’d be nice to have someone you could bounce ideas off of before publishing stuff! if not, how do you manage to hide all that stuff hahah~. you’ve built an entirely different universe, so i refuse to believe a sane man can keep all of that in his head and live a normal life simultaneously:p

if you could befriend any oc of yours, who would it be and why?

i’m not sure how to word this question properly, but are there any endings/plot points that you had initially envisioned differently? like, did you think a story was going one way and changed your mind half ways through?

you don’t have to answer all of these! you did ask for it, but i hope i’m not overwhelming you haha~

Absolutely not. School didn't do anything to prepare me for the world. My college has done less than nothing in preparing me to get a job in my field, YOUTUBE HAS DONE MORE FOR ME THAN COLLEGE AT THIS POINT and if I'm completely honest with you? That's fuckin sad. No, I had no idea what I wanted to do and I wish I was that kind of person who knew right out the gate. (lucky bastards) Okay, I'm done with my rant lol

I didn't know what field I wanted to study in, so I took a chance and jumped into something I knew I had some knowledge in and hoped for the best. Really that's all you can do. I have learned that, when you get out of highschool and you don't know what to do, do everything until something sticks. Trial and error. It's not the most efficient, but it works!

Any feedback to GIVE to the community? Let me think. Honestly, the community has been very wonderful to me. Occasionally something pops up, but it's usually squashed. The discord server is full of wonderful and creative and talented people who have always had my back and support the work I do. I hear all the time about drama in fellow creator servers and toxic behavior in the communities, etc...but my end of things has always been super nice! (that might have something to do with my lack of NSFW content) But yeah! No notes really! Everything good in our little neighborhood!

My family is aware AND so is my extended family lol! They are supportive, but they don't really give me ideas to bounce off. I have other fellow writers and creatives or that! And I do write everything down and go back to it in case I forget something. But typically speaking its all in my head, yep! I just...don't know how to do other things! Like...dress fashionably or...function in a normal society...you know useless stuff like that!

Zed. He needs a friend lol

Only with Bastard Warrior actually! Every story, I envision how I want it to end first, but with Bastard Warrior, I had thoughts of changing it because it was supposed to be enemies to lovers, yet the canon ending isn't Albus getting with Faith. So, I made 3 endings to appease everyone lol

Hope I got all of the them lol!

[copperbadge]

The images don’t actually indicate this but my morning escalated so quickly.

I got up this morning and threw together a second batch of gluten-free mini bagels for little T, my coworker’s kid, who (if these work for him) will get to have bagels for the first time ever. I kind of enjoy how the bagel dough holds the form of my fingers after I’ve pushed it into the bowl. While that rose I was going to clean... 

NaClYoHo for the day was supposed to be about crafting supplies. I had my craft supplies scattered over what I thought was four locations: 

craft organizer boxes under the craft/sewing desk

a bin of stuff I am currently working on in the baker’s rack

a drawer in my hall cabinet

an end-table that has drawers that aren’t normally accessible because of the way it’s situated, which I thought was long-term craft storage

Turns out that I had, at some point, taken the craft stuff out of the inaccessible end table and filled it instead with stuff I thought I wouldn’t want access to very often -- mainly some ball caps and some less useful kitchen stuff (a tea set my gran owned, serving trays, etc). But I had a moth issue over the summer (resolved now) and I didn’t realize the moths had gotten into those drawers, so EVERYTHING needed washing. Gross. 

Still, I cleaned all the stuff in the drawers or packed it in a plastic bag for washing later. While the dishwasher ran, I got to work on my craft stuff, mainly the fabric. You can see the organized “fabric drawer” in the photo above. There’s some unusual fabric (lace, t-shirts) that I’ll need to go through but I want to store elsewhere; this also doesn’t include fabric for specific projects, which I sorted into separate bins, or cross-stitch stuff, which went into its own pile.

But by the time I was done going through every container and sorting JUST the fabric and organizing it all, I was mentally unready to address the real nonsense that is all the smaller craft stuff -- beads and findings and art markers and such. A lot of my craft stuff won’t need much organization (the glue-and-paint box, the origami box, etc) but sorting through all the smaller stuff is going to take more time and energy than I want to expend today, so the craftageddon will have to continue into next week. 

I felt like I really should push on, but I stopped to review how much I’d done and I really did spend significant time working this morning. I listened to “A Historically Bad Year To Retire” and “The Taylor Swift Ticketmaster Debacle” from The Journal, Friday’s episode of City Cast Chicago about property taxes and legal weed, “What’s Up Doc” from Radiolab which was a delightful and extremely touching tribute to Mel Blanc, and an episode of True Crime Obsessed (Finding Andrea Part 4) which did inspire me to go buy tickets to Patrick Hinds’ book tour reading in Chicago next year. That didn’t seem like a lot because they’re mainly short episodes, but all told it was an hour and forty minutes of work, so I feel accomplished timewise if not taskwise. 

Dearborn, whose motto is “no legs, no problems” kept an eye on me to make sure the fabric didn’t maul me when I tried to fold it. Polk often makes herself scarce when I clean, and especially if I’m throwing boxes around....

[ID: Three images; the first, top left, shows a bowl with the lid lifted and a stiff-looking gluten-free bagel dough inside. Visibly imprinted into the dough are several finger marks. Second image, top right, shows my now-organized fabric drawer, with a bunch of fat quarters in a cardboard box set into the drawer, and larger pieces of fabric visible outside the box. Final image is Dearborn the tortie, sitting on the back of the sofa, all four legs tucked under her, chillin’ while she watches me work.]

[kiarakarlisse]

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve talked to Noelle. I’ve texted, and called her but no answer. I even went to her apartment to check in on her. I know what we did was wrong and her ending her engagement to Carter has affected her. I didn’t think it would this much, but I have to look at her perspective. She did love him even if she loved me too. So she’s grieving her relationship and needs time. I’m willing to give her that but I hate that she’s not communicating with me. This was one of our issues the first time around. She holds all her feelings in.

But as the CEO of Hayes Magazine, I can’t just be in my feelings and not go to work. So I headed in to work Monday morning. I ended up working late. It seems like it’s the only thing I can do to keep my mind off her. The later it got the more I got in my head. So I decided to have a drink, but I couldn’t drink alone. So I called my assistant in. I know it’s not a good idea but…

Nick: Hey Sarai can you come in my office for a moment?

Sarai: Yes, sir.

Nick: Hey I know it’s getting late. I want to thank you for staying. I really appreciate it.

Sarai: No Problem sir

The way she keeps addressing me as sir is doing something to me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a bit inebriated or if I just miss Elle. But damn she looks good.

Nick: Hey why so formal? Rai it’s just us left in the office. Would you like a drink?

Sarai: Well I don’t want to cross anymore lines. We’ve been off for a while now after what happened last time.

Nick: We’re adults here. We don’t have to do anything at all. I just wanted some company while I finish up some work.

Nick: I’ll ask again. Would you like a drink?

Sarai: No I’m okay, we can just talk.

Fast forward a couple of hours and a few more drinks. We needed up at her apartment. I had just wanted to make sure she got home. But then she invited me in and I’m not in the right mind. We leaned in for a kiss we knew would just be a kiss. We’ve been here before. More than just kissing. For some reason Sarai knows how to get me out of my head. No one else has ever done that but my Elle. I guess she resembles her a bit and kind of has her beautiful laugh. God I miss her.

We stumble into her bedroom where she starts to get all shy. Like we’ve never done this before. She was the only casual ongoing relationship I’ve had since Noelle and Penny.

Nick: Rai why so shy all of a sudden? (teasing)

Sarai: We ended this because of her. I don’t want this to be like last time. It’s more than just sex for me.

Nick: Babe, we’re not talking about her right now. It’s just you and me.

Sarai: That’s not really reassuring (sighs)

Nick: Look at me. It’s you and me tonight. No one else. Okay.

Sarai: Okay

What am I talking about??? Why did I just say that? Everything is about her. It’s always about her. Am I drunk? Have a reached my limit? I just miss her so much but I also want this right now just for a moment to feel something. Anything. And she’s here. Sarai is always here.

Her body on mine feels so right yet so wrong. She’s perfect in every way, beautiful, intelligent, talented. She speaks her mind, knows what she wants and gets it. That’s why I hired her. She’s always on top of things but something is off. Maybe in another life I could love Sarai like I love my Elle. It would be so much easier.

Nick: Fuck Rai!! I can never get enough of you.

Sarai: Nick… Don’t stop!!

Nick: God I wish you were here!! (Growls)

Sarai: I am here. Right here with you. (Tears roll down her cheeks)

Knowing he means her. Noelle. His one and only. Why can’t I be enough for him? Why must I live a man that will never love me back

The next morning I had a pounding headache. How did I get home? Thats the only thing I couldn’t remember. Everything else I wish I could forget. How could I do that to Noelle? Shit how could I do that to Sarai, knowing her feelings for me haven’t changed. God!!! I’m such a fucking dick. I need to talk to Rai. Apologize to her. She doesn’t deserve this. I crossed a line once again and can’t go back. I really fucked up this time. Elle and I aren’t technically together but she won’t see it that way.

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[ollieoliver910]

I want to first start off with that I’m not here to argue your opinion, but to just give some clarification/insight on the show.

You are entitled to your own opinion and I’m not trying to change it. I just want you to give the show another chance.

I’ve broken talking points down to sections so it’s easier to read :)

The main issue I saw that you had is that the cruise arc added nothing to the story and it was just a waste of time. However it gave a lot of insight on Yor’s character, which is something the audience had very little of up until this point. The cruise arc allowed us to see her emotional growth, since the start of the series she truly cares about the Forger Family and her role within it. The lady she was protecting (I forgot her name) allowed Yor to reflect and see what she has. It at blank told the audience that the family is no longer “just a cover” and I really appreciated seeing this side of Yor and getting to know more of her character. Is the arc long? Yes for sure, but it allows for the show not to be rushed. Then also with Twilight, you see that he cannot physically relax even for a moment and how much he is trying to make it a good vacation for Anya it tells you where he is at as a character. Then you know, love the Anya hijinks as usual but it also allows the audience to see how exactly she uses her powers to help people (in this case keeping her family together), but also where her priorities lie (she doesn’t want her family to get split apart, she cares about her family’s safety, she kinda feels bad/thinks it funny that Twilight can’t have fun). TLDR: The cruise arc allows us to see the emotional journey of the characters. Character growth if just as important as story progression.

Along the note with you not liking the ending episode of the season, someone else worded it better than I am now but it ties up the theme of role of the family. I would elaborate but I can’t word things for shit.

With all the hinting, it will come up in later episodes. I am caught up on the manga and it does address the things you wanted to know, more about. You should definitely read the manga if you want the story to go at a quicker pace, it’s not done yet however the most recent arcs have my heart and I think you’ll really like them.

I know it seems like the show is not moving fast enough, but that’s kind of the point. Operation Strix, is a long term mission so the story will be a slow burn. The show allows for messages and themes to be woven within the episodes. And as stated before emotional growth of the characters is so important to a show like SpyXFamily. But I implore you to look deeper into the show than just surface level, reading the analysis on this app made me love the show even more. I would recommend you some good accounts for analysis, but I don’t know them off the top of my head. But if you ask later, I can definitely send some.

I will not be defending the Becky episode, I was also extremely uncomfortable watching and reading it.

And again you are entitled to your own opinion, I’m not shaming you for your opinion. SpyXFamily isn’t for everyone, but I wanted to at least give you another angle.

From your criticisms, it sounds like you would like shows with a quicker pace and for that I recommend “Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood”

Also you can watch SpyXFamily on regular Hulu if you don’t want to pay for Crunchyroll premium

Hope you found this insightful and not insulting :)

Hello!

Your right in pretty much everything but let me clarify one thing. I thought I said in my post that Yors arc was the best thing about season two where there is character development. If I explained it wrong, I apologize, but the cruise arc was amazing!

Im slowly learning why Spy x Family is paced the way it is and that's because I was unaware about the Manga that is (I think?) Three seasons ahead. I just finger that since there are probably no easy way to get them in English that it would not be worth investing in at the moment (I don't know if it has been translated I'm not sure.)

So yeah, a lot of this information is new to me. I'm still invested in the story and I DO want to watch it long term...but I think waiting another year for only 12 episodes is not worth the wait if I'm being honest. And I know how that feels. I waited 9 months for Jojo part 6 (part 2) and yeah, that sucked honestly. I just think waiting a year is not worth the episode output, which is why I'm worried there going to drag this show out for much longer then they need it to be.

Full metal alchemist is on my radar, trust me. I just haven't gotten to it yet and I heard great things about it! It's just I wanted more Spy x Family because I love the concept a whole lot...but I feel like I got barely anything from the show this year and that's why it kind of stings in a sense.

I hope this made more sense.

[beardedmrbean]

DREXEL HILL, Pa. (AP) — In the hours before he’s due at Upper Darby High School, senior Khalid Doulat has time to say prayers, help his mother or prepare for track practice.

It’s a welcome shift from last year for him and thousands of students at the school, which pushed its start time back by more than two hours — from a 7:30 a.m. start time to 9:45 a.m. One goal for the change: to ease strains on students that were more visible than ever coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve been much happier in the mornings,” Doulat said. “I’ve been more positive, and I’ve come to school smiling more rather than, you know, grudging out of bed and stuff like that at 7:30.”

The idea of later school start times, pushed by many over the years as a way to help adolescents get more sleep, is getting a new look as a way to address the mental health crisis affecting teens across the U.S.

For some schools, the pandemic allowed experimentation to try new schedules. Upper Darby, for one, initially considered later start times in 2019. Ultimately, it found a way to do it this year by using distance learning as a component of the school day.

As students first came back to in-person learning, many dealt with mental health struggles and behavioral issues, Upper Darby Superintendent Daniel McGarry said. Officials saw a breakdown in students respecting the authority of teachers in the classroom.

“We had a lot of those things that we were facing and we’re still working our way through it; we’re in a much better place,” McGarry said. “I think our kids feel better. They’re not 100% better.” But, he said, much of the social anxiety students felt after being in online school has dissipated.

During the pandemic, soaring numbers of high school students expressed persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, with girls and LGBTQ+ youth reporting the highest levels of poor mental health and suicide attempts. It doesn’t help that research suggests middle and high school students aren’t getting enough sleep.

“These mental health challenges are already going to happen and then, with the absence of sleep, are much worse,” said Orfeu Buxton, director of the Sleep, Health & Society Collaboratory at Penn State University. “The same with decision making, suicidal ideation, those kinds of things.”

The reasons why high schools start as early as they do — many begin their day before 7:30 a.m. — are “lost to the sands of history,” Buxton said. But now, he said, ”everything is baked into that: traffic light patterns, bus schedules and adults’ work.”

Nationally, at least nine states are considering legislation related to school start times, up from four the previous year, according to the National Conference on State Legislatures. California in 2019 became the first and only state to dictate school start times.

Large school systems including Denver, Philadelphia and Anchorage, Alaska, have been looking into later start times.

It can require innovation to forge a new schedule.

At Upper Darby High, the school day technically still begins at 7:30 a.m., with students assigned coursework to be done remotely that ties into their lessons for the day. But they can use the early morning hours as they see fit — they can meet with teachers during office hours, sleep in or finish other homework. Ultimately, the work assigned for the early morning needs to be done, but when is up to students.

“I think getting more sleep is definitely helping,” Elise Olmstead, a junior. “I would be more irritable throughout the day, especially later, because I have a lot of after-school things. I would just have a harder time getting through the day.”

The school day still ends by 3 p.m.

Fatima Afrani, a freshman, said that when she gets home, she’ll usually relax, then help her mom or do homework.

“If I’m tired I go to sleep, which was not something I was able to do last year. Last year I just had to get my homework done because there wasn’t an option of being able to do it later,” she said. “And so I liked that if I was tired, I could listen to my body and just let myself sleep.”

Principal Matthew Alloway said educators have noticed fewer students sleeping in class. The new schedule also has allowed “kids to go to school for exactly what they need,” he said. About 400 of the school’s 4,250 students attend only through virtual learning — an option it offered to compete with online schools.

Critics have argued students have less instruction time in the new schedule. The original 80-minute periods have been shortened, but Alloway said that it’s not as if lectures always took up the full 80 minutes.

“It was sometimes a 60-minute concentrated instructional time. But then there was time to write. There was time to read. There was time to view a video,” he said.

Other challenges wrought by the pandemic — teacher shortages, for one — have also benefitted from the schedule change, administrators said. Teachers can take care of themselves and their families in the morning. Administrators have more time to replace staffers who call out sick.

Doulat, the Upper Darby senior, said that even if students can’t see the effects every day, there’s been a big positive impact.

“It’s such little changes in our daily lives that we don’t notice it,” he added. “But they slowly start building up, and we actually see the difference within our own lives.”

[pixelbark]

April has been a month, that's for sure. It started and now it's ended and what do I have to show for it?

Well... Let me explain.

Faith is a powerful force. We need it in our daily lives, not just in religion either. It helps us take risks, overcome obstacles, and pursue our passions. We rely on faith to navigate the uncertainties of our jobs, hobbies, relationships, and personal growth. Having faith in ourselves and the world around us gives us the confidence to move forward and find success and fulfilment.

I have faith in My Littlest Skeleton. I love my Little Skeleton and I cannot wait for you to meet yours! But the progress this month has been disappointing for me.

When planning this blog post I wasn't sure what to write about. I've updated the game's design document to flesh out some gameplay. I've written some code around the interaction systems and the procedural animation, I'm currently working on procedurally animating the arms, once it's done it's going to look great. I've even gotten some help redesigning and starting the bulk of the UI work.

I have faith in the work that I'm doing... don't I?

This month I'm worrying that I'm not doing enough, making more mistakes than usual, and finding excuses to avoid work. I feel discouraged by the reception my work gets on social media, leading to cynicism and a lack of motivation. As someone with a background in psychology, I know these tell-tale signs. I know what this thought pattern sounds like.

This all sounds like burnout. This month I want to talk about burnout.

I would personally define burnout as continued sustained stressors causing a loss of faith. Be it in your personal endeavours, your workplace, yourself, or all of the above. Burnout is chronic, it is debilitating. It is becoming increasingly more common.

It can be difficult to tell if you are developing burnout, burnout and stress are very closely linked with a lot of overlap.

Sometimes, when people say they are burned out, really they are stressed. Conversely, sometimes people think they are stressed when in reality they are burned out. This year hasn’t been kind to me so far. I’ve had to deal with a lot of personal issues external to My Littlest Skeleton. I’ve also had issues in my day job in a similar measure. It’s been a lot. 

My strategy was to just keep doing it all anyway because I had to. Sure it was stressful but stress is usually temporary, once the stressors are gone you can relax for a while and recover. I didn’t recognise my own burnout and now here we are, I feel a lot of mental distance from well, everything, right now. I feel detached and lonely. Very very lonely.

How long is this going to last? It’s impossible to say, really. Recognising it in yourself is the most important first step, luckily there are ways you can pull yourself back, unfortunately, it requires a little work. The last thing you want to do right now. 

It all more or less involves standard self-care practices you’ve heard a million times before. You hear them over and over because they work. This isn’t a self-help blog though, I’m not going to preach to you about healthy eating, getting enough sleep and mindfulness meditation. You know. You’ve heard it all before. It does work.

So what does that mean for My Littlest Skeleton? Well, nothing really. I had a bad month, I made progress but I don’t have all that much to show that’s particularly visually distinct from what you saw last month. What I learned from this though is that sometimes you just need to cut yourself some slack. It’s fine. Life got in the way. Honestly, all of the personal stressors are definitely going to continue into next month and probably get worse. I don’t have that strong a support network and people are absolutely taking advantage of me. That will be addressed once it’s all over.

But I am going to make time for My Littlest Skeleton, because I have faith in it, and I have faith in myself. As difficult as it can feel sometimes trying to make something that feels worthwhile, I have a close group of people that really do seem to believe in me and I will do it for them. That's incredibly motivating to think about, and I thank them with all my heart for sticking with me. Yes, that means you.

❤️

Amy

[poisonappletales]

(I have edited the screenshot of this ask to keep this person's identity anonymous as requested!)

I've already messaged Anonymous to thank them for bringing this to my attention, but I'd like to make a post addressing this here.

Don't Take This Risk was developed for the Asylum game jam back in 2016. On Game Jolt, you can see it was published in 2016 (although, I highly recommend playing the Director's Abridged Version on itch.io to get extra endings). As further evidence, there's a 2016 article talking about here and you can see Markiplier's awesome Let's Play of it posted here also back in 2016.

Don't Take This Risk was not inspired by any book. It is my original work.

While non-profit fanworks of our games are allowed and definitely appreciated, trying to claim copyright over the game's story, character and script is not. It is generally against the guidelines of any site you may try to publish it on as well.

Fortunately, the writer mentioned in this ask did not seem to have deliberately bad intentions. I emailed them and asked them to include a copyright disclaimer, along with a statement that it is a fanfic. They have done so, and everything should be well. (If, however, you see evidence that points to the contrary, then you can let me know or keep reading on to know how to fix the issue!)

I have not unblurred/revealed the screenshots in this ask, which would show the writer's name and what site they have published their fanfic on. I don't want anyone to give them hate or harass them, just in case. They haven't been hostile and it doesn't seem like they meant any harm, so I only wish them the best and appreciate that they're a fan of the game.

If, in the future, you come across someone who seems to be plagiarizing my work, I would ask that you message/email them privately, politely asking them to make it clear that it's a fanfic or to stop if they have actually crossed a line. If they are not reasonable, then reporting them on the site they have published their work on should suffice. You can also message or email me if you feel like you don't know what to do.

I pour my heart and passion into my work, so I can't say it doesn't hurt if somebody actually tries to steal my creative endeavor. However, I don't agree with bullying or responding to hate with hate. So if there's a problem and you can do it, let's solve it with words, reason and kindness. Something Ambrosia would advocate with love.

“Yes! Being kind doesn’t mean not taking action. In fact, it’s always good to stand up for what’s right. But how you do it makes a difference, too. I don’t believe in violence...all it does is breed more violence. So let’s take matters into our own hands firmly but with heart.  ♥”   

In other news, I plan to visit the Discord this Saturday (December 31, 2022) at around 3:30 PM (PST)! We can have a belated Christmas party and New Year's Eve celebration all at once. Since I have evening plans that day, I’ll have to be off around 5:30-5:45 PM, so let’s make the most of it while we’re there! 

I also plan to post a sneak peek of the game's progress soon in honor of 2023. So keep your eye out for it!

In the meantime...I hope you had a Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

[im-no-jedi]

my thoughts on TBB season 2 episodes 7-8

and why it’ll probably be a long time before I’m able to rewatch these episodes again 💀

this is gonna be long and probably not very coherent, but I’m gonna do my best cause I need to get my feelings out 😅

I wanna start by saying I think these were some of the best episodes not just in TBB, but in SW media overall. the issue of Clones rights is something that we’ve been desperate to see addressed ever since TCW. we got hints of it in TCW, but it was never a prevalent issue since the series focused so much on the Jedi. Umbara was the first major instance we got of this, after a few smaller hints (Rex with Cut and the Separatist attack on Kamino were standouts for sure). but this was the first time we saw real, true focus on the rights of the Clones, especially in relation to their significance outside of war. it was done perfectly imo, even though it ended up being what kicked off the official start of the Stormtrooper era 💔

I told this to @jam-n-ham and she agreed with me, but Riyo spoke not just for her own beliefs, but for the entire fandom as well, and I really appreciate that 💙

another thing I absolutely loved was seeing TBB work with Rex again. them sneaking into Rampart’s ship and that whole endeavor was very reminiscent of their TCW arc with the refined chaos we know and love about them; it’s easily one of my favorite moments of the entire series now 😁

speaking of Rampart... DING DONG THE BINCH IS GONE. OMG. I legit thought he was gonna be more of a problem throughout the series (and he probably still will be 🙄), but for now at least, he’s finally outta here. hallelujah \o/

one more thing I have to mention is Omega. oh my sweet baby girl. this episode was such a good showcase of her character. it showed her sweetness and curiosity, while also giving her a chance to express her feelings about what happened on Kamino. her little rant was everything, and I’m so proud of her; she’s becoming a very expressive and strong young woman that I wish I had gotten to see more of when I was younger 💙

alright. now time for the feels™

I want to state that this is something extremely personal to me, so I’m going to speak mainly from the heart in regard to this. it’s really hard for me to make a more thoughtful judgment about it, especially since the season isn’t over yet, and we don’t know how things are going to play out fully. all I know right now is how I feel. so here we go.

I’m personally absolutely devastated about Echo leaving.

I know, I know, pretty much everyone can relate to this right now. but let me explain.

I struggle greatly with loss. of any kind, really. mostly in terms of relationships and people. throughout my life, I’ve struggled to maintain relationships with people and have had many people permanently leave my life, either by choice or circumstance. I can’t handle death very well, and I rarely can bring myself to even say goodbye to people. the very idea of someone leaving, even temporarily, is hard for me to handle.

this is further worsened because I also get extremely attached to things. this includes physical objects, people, animals, fictional characters, franchises in general, you name it. my specific brand of undiagnosed neurodiversity means that I get extra emotional when anything happens to something I’m attached to. @jam-n-ham can vouch for how excited and emotional I get when we’re watching something together. I don’t cry irl very often, but I get extremely emotional watching media of any kind.

so imagine my reactions to when a fictional character either dies or leaves in some manner. yeah...

when Fives died, it devasted me in a way that I’ve never fully recovered from. it legit traumatized me. to this day, I literally cannot even look at screencaps or gifs of when he died. it’s only been recently that I’ve even been able to acknowledge anything from that arc in general. I feel similarly about when Kanan died in Rebels as well (although that one is a bit easier for me to stomach because of how it was done).

and for me, characters leaving, even if it’s on good terms, affects me in an almost identical way. to me, Echo leaving TBB is no different than when he “died” in the Citadel arc, another moment that traumatized me. it doesn’t matter that he said he’ll be back or whatever. he’s still gone in my eyes.

I’ve been very attached to Echo since we first saw him. I actually liked him more than Fives for a while. I was ecstatic when we found out he was still alive and got rescued in TCW. and he’s been an absolute joy to watch in TBB. although he’s @jam-n-ham’s bae, he’s my boy and my bro and I love him very much. there’s a reason I made him my best friend in my self-insert series 🥰

I really wish I could explain this better since there are many instances of characters leaving or dying that hasn’t affected me so badly (again, I handled Kanan WAY better than Fives, and I literally can’t count the number of times I’ve watched the Umbara arc). I’m in a sensitive place in my life in general right now, so that might have something to do with it. but I feel like I would have these same feelings no matter what simply because of my trauma and my specific attachment to Echo as a character.

I do want to say though that I’m glad him leaving was presented the way that it was. I actually already knew he was going to leave at some point WEEKS ago due to spoilers, and I spoiled myself again before seeing the episodes, so I knew it was coming. it didn’t make it hurt any less, but the fact that he left on good terms with everybody is nice to know at least. Omega had a strong emotional reaction, which was understandable and realistic, and I appreciate that as well (considering I had a similar reaction 😅). also, I support what he’s doing and am glad that he feels like he’ll make a difference with Rex supporting other Clones in need. he’s a good boy, guys 🥺💙

so yeah. although I’m positive we’ll see him again (along with the likely possibility of him rejoining TBB at some point), it’s still incredibly painful that he’s gone and separated from the others. I feel like this will be addressed with Omega in the show, since she seems to be going through similar feelings. and if not... well, I still have my self-insert series that I can use to address it LOL

tl;dr because of my trauma dealing with loss and my strong attachment to Echo as a character, I won’t be rewatching episodes 7-8 for some time. I’ll be reassessing my feelings again once the season is over, but for now, this is where I stand.

ilu Echo. I hope I see you again soon 💙💙💙

[stuckinapril]

how do you be hopeful about the future? im trying my best to move forward with my life, but depression is really making it seem like theres no point to it. i know that a new job, moving, more money, etc wont relieve the feeling i have because its something i need to address within me, but it just feels like then whats the point of doing any of that at all if it wont change anything. the new years coming and i cant find a way to be excited about what it might bring

who said any of that wouldn’t change anything? it very well could. maybe you’re profoundly unhappy at your current job, or your friends aren’t all that supportive or kind, or you’re tired of the city you’re currently living in. obviously all of that could also be untrue—i don’t know what your exact situation is—but the point is there are countless options for alleviating the sadness that’s currently plaguing you.

i wouldn’t tell you your main problem is that you no longer have options, but rather that you have a defeatist attitude about it. half of the battle of doing literally anything isn’t actually doing it, but believing you could. if you continue to believe nothing will change anything, you’ll stay stagnant. but if you give yourself the permission to be hopeful, you’ll act on that hope. & your actions will result in the change that you desire.

it’s a simple fact that things can change. there are too many people out there for it to be possible that no one would love you. there are too many opportunities out there for it to be plausible that no one would take you in. it’s just objectively untrue that there’s nothing left to be done. but if you never let go of the belief that it’s game over for you, you’ll never even give yourself a chance to prove otherwise.

it starts with gratitude. with appreciating the little things you do currently have. and then it gets better and better with every intentional move you make, to improve whatever situation you’re in: whether it be financial, environmental, or mental. maybe for you that looks like seeking professional help. depression is a fucking beast, but it doesn’t have to define you. it’s something many people struggle with every day. nonetheless, some of the most helpful, strong people i’ve ever met have mental issues. it can get better. it can absolutely get better. now more than ever, on the precipice of a new year, is the time to do some inner work and reflect on what would truly make you happy in this world. once you’ve figured out what happiness looks like for you, chase that w everything you have. and never, ever give up.