#but I don't hate how it looks yet
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advocatus diaboli
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#karlach#tiefling#barbarian#bg3 fanart#bg3 karlach#bg3 art#userpharawee#stuff and things#ugh idk I'm struggling with my art a bit lately and it's. fcking annoying!!#so this clearly isn't finished (whatever that means)#but I don't hate how it looks yet#so I'm just quickly going to throw it out there before I can start to overthink myself into disliking it lmao#easing my way back into liking what and how I draw. slowly but surely#anyway. karlach!! I still love her
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#spiderman#deadpool#spideypool#comic#I did this for a class#an ENGLISH class#but we're learning about comics as literature and for the most recent paper we had an option to make a comic#and the main theme we're studying this semester is power so i made this#anyway I forgot how goddamn hard these two are to draw#I hate how complicated their costumes are like its so unnecessary#but I also think this is the most accurately I've drawn them#and they looked consistent through this whole thing#so I'm really proud of myself#and yes this is gay but i'm imagining that in this scene they don't realize they have feelings for each other yet hee hee#some of these were fuckin hard angles too what was i doing to myself!!! this was hard af!!! wtf!!!#and to be honest i drew all of this yesterday and today!!! that was so much drawing!!! og my god!!!#but it was fun he he#except i will always hate the webs on spideys costume. hell world#they have to look such a specific way and it is not easy#enough rambling. enjoy#also sorry im reuploading this because i had accidentally colored in one of spideys speech bubbles as yellow
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Since that time I cannot stop trying to draw him with his hair down. help-
(It doesn't help that after I drew him last time, I keep seeing him with hair down on my feed constantly)
So here we go again, but with more different style then just wet looking hair. And of course, with our beloved lil Kitten too.
#ghost trick phantom detective#ghost trick#ghost trick spoilers#So if you didn't play it yet GOOO PLAY#sissel#yomiel#ghost trick sissel#ghost trick yomiel#It's funny how I keep drawing Sissel now. Yet before I finished Ghost trick I hated drawing cats because I always couldn't get it right.#But now that Sissel became my absolute favorite? I can!#Don't get me wrong it's not purrfect#(hah)#But at least now I get to draw one of my favorite animal!#Cats!#Yomiel and his cat(son) looking all stylish#what is wrong with them#Tsuki_glitch art
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How it feels to not like timebomb after s2
#I'M NOT A HATER I SWEAR I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE IT ON PAPER#i do however think that it came literally out of nowhere and was hella rushed and kinda ridiculous#like. if the argument is that original ekko fell in love with jinx it doesn't make sense because they were enemies for most of their lives#if the argument is that current ekko fell in love with au powder and now projects these feelings on jinx it's kinda uh. messed up#because she's a whole different person. entirely. it doesn't matter if both these version started out as a 9-year old powder. they had#extremely different lives and experiences and thinking that “there's still this kind of powder in jinx deep down” is straight-up awful#OR even if he didn't project his feelings for powder on jinx why would he love her in the current universe? last time they met she blew them#up and now she wants to commit suicide. there's literally no reason for him to have any kind of feelings except the slight friendly#affection that's left from all those years ago. and yet the show and most importantly the fandom treats them like a couple??? i don't get it#also it's kinda insane that s2 turned jinx and ekko into flat shipping material#again. obviously i have nothing against the shippers and do not condemn it in any way. i'm just expressing my thoughts on the matter#also what pisses me off the most. is how in ep9 jinx in fully painted with ekko's symbols here and there. has the bandage (?) on her chest#like vi. has a hood that looks like a drawing that isha made. and yet there's no fishbones or any reference to silco at all#i mean. i get it s2 hates him but i can't help it#they gave her all these relationships and pretended that they're significant to her and yet they didn't have any proper development#to really earn it#arcane critical#arcane season 2#anti timebomb#jinx arcane#ekko arcane
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my favourite stiles is the stiles when malia gives him any form of affection and he just stares at her all bewildered because no one has been so unapologetic and unhesitating in giving their love to him and it always catches him off guard
#malia says I'll never leave you behind after saying coyotes leave people behind all the time. Stiles: whaaaa#stiles just look into my eyes stilinski. malia um actually how about i kiss you tate#malia hugging him immediately after getting control of her shift. stiles: exhales shakily like he can't believe it#what are you doing i haven't even brushed my teeth yet. :)))) i don't care. Stiles: starry eyes#do you hate me? i LIKE you. I LIKE YOU A LOT#stalia#malia tate#stiles stilinski#txt
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I'm genuinely confused on how someone's coping mechanism or fantasy affects others, when it literally has nothing to do with them. It's not as if they're being held down and subjected to traumatising topics. They have free will, the choice to scroll on and filter out tags.
Like seriously. These people don't even bother explaining themselves or giving a couple points to back up their hatred and anger towards dark fiction writers, it's always, “get raped, asshole.” it's never a proper explanation.
I'm just stuck on how these people are so confident that they have the moral high ground when they can't have a conversation without throwing in a couple of death/rape threats and fuckton of insults. 🥴
#and honestly? i don't think these people are actually triggered#they claim that dark fiction is oh - so triggering and how disturbing and immoral it is#yet don't put any effort into actually blocking out any tags...#so clearly - it doesn't affect them - but they see others hating and want to fit in for once in their lives.#if you're upset over something - you look for solutions. it's not gonna fix itself.#rant
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What if y/n from have you eaten? Au had eating disorders?
oou! good question!
yes! that is definitely a scenario i would like to explore in the fic when i get to it. also why i want to write the fic with multiple different Y/Ns so we can explore different experiences and relationships with food
there is a "main Y/N" who is a glutton who likes to try anything and everything. i haven't done the research for it so i can't say whether or not they have an eating disorder, but they DO have an unhealthy relationship with food as a result of being shamed for their appetite. so that, coupled with their job that emphasizes appearances and first impressions, they eat smaller meals, seemingly healthier meals, safe meals. but when they're alone at the restaurant with the DCA boys, without having to worry about who sees them or how much they eat, they're able to enjoy their food openly and honour their body's cravings.
#ask the crab#Have You Eaten? AU#i'll add some ideas for the Y/Ns here in the tags because nothing is final yet#a single parent Y/N with a picky son or daughter#an international student Y/N who is feeling homesick and comes to the restaurant to eat food they miss from home#maybe the same student Y/N but a Y/N who forgets to eat or actively skips meals so they don't spend too much money#a Y/N that has tried many diets and workouts and still feels insecure about how they look#a Y/N that has developed health problems and can't eat a lot of the foods they once loved#a Y/N that wants to learn to cook but has always subconsciously hated their own cooking#food is just such an interesting vehicle for storytelling#food is tied to so many memories#nostalgia and trauma#it's fuel for our bodies but also a bridge for social interactions#my biggest worry with this au is that i can only write from my limited understanding of food#there's so many cuisines i haven't tried yet and am unfamiliar with#hence why i played it safe by making the restaurant a cha chaan teng a restaurant and cuisine that i am very familiar with
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i say this with love. house fanfic writers, if you ever want me to beta something for medical accuracy, i'll fucking do it no questions asked
#hate crimes md#house md#hilson#listen. every medstudent is some version of an idiot and i am only a second year so for the love of god do not ask me#for Actual medical advice that i am not qualifed to give. i'm just qualified enough to check Fanfic. and i'll do it too just ask#this isn't directed at everyone. some of you have managed to put together well-researched compelling cases and i am kissing you#on the mouth for it mwah. even as i don't actually give a toss about most internal medicine#(look. i am just in a very monogamous relationship with trauma surgery)#anyway don't rely on the show either - sure it's one of the more accurate medical dramas but these morons still shock asystole#you can ask me how medschool works too!! the show is house md not house getting his md yet i've lost count of the ridiculous ways#people have gotten medschool wrong just. mentioned in passing. so concise and yet so wrong#serious offer.#these inaccuracies bug me more than they should
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Okay, do we hate this? Not the colors, the stitch. Or maybe the way the colors work with the stitch? As you can see from the remaining skein, there are a few colors I haven't gotten to at all yet.
#one minute i look at it and love it#the next i look at it and hate it#honestly i wanted to do something a little fancier with this yarn#but i don't have the energy for counting right now and this is the only yarn i don't have a solid plan for#and i need the outlet so i figured a basic moss stitch because it takes zero focus and usually looks very pretty#but i don't know how i feel about it here and i can't figure out if that's just because i haven't gotten far enough with it yet#or if that's because i just don't like it with this yarn#anyway#crochet#also any suggestions are welcome#i actually think this would look stunning with a simple half double crochet throughout#but honestly i think that would be too much of a yarn eater and it would end up being too small for a wrap
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i just saw someone call ffxiii overrated like? what?? it's literally one of the most hated games in the franchise wym "overrated" 😭
#they've gotta be butthurt it got 3 games#also saw someone whine about how it shouldn't get a remaster bc ''other ff games deserve a chance'' and i was baffled#xiii and xi are the only mainline ff games that aren't on modern consoles what are you talking about!!!!!!!#i shouldn't be reading random men's comments on ffxiii omg it just makes me peeved lmao#final fantasy xiii#i gotta ramble real quick abt how we don't have a remaster yet actually#it bugs me when people act as if it's because ffxiii was some huge embarrassment for square and that they want to bury it#when it actually sold super well#and lightning became one of the most iconic protags in the whole franchise#not to mention that xiii got TWO SEQUELS that ALSO sold well#AND the combat system has influenced modern ff titles#square doesn't hate xiii omfg get real#but that does make it even more absurd that it doesn't have a remaster yet#some people think it doesn't need one since it still looks so damn good#but it's not really about that lol it's about accessibility and letting it reach a new audience (the pc port is too broken seriously)#something tells me it's because the crystal tools engine was so much of a pain to work with but idk they haven't really explained anything#either way it just annoys me when people claim xiii doesn't deserve a remaster bc ''no one likes it'' when that really isn't true#and calling it overrated is beyond insane
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piano girl
#*that's girl with an asterisk. maybe not a Girl#hii it's me peanut. i'm having a Moment with gender presentation again </3#not a guy so thought maybe a girl so tried to draw a pinterest outfit but it made the feeling Worse#the solution may be to cease to exist. idk yet#but the drawing turned out cute? ig?#it doesn't look like me at all tbh. at least i don't think so. maybe#shrug. aaaAAHHH#peanut posting#pho.posts#pho.doodles#hopefully this feeling passes i hate having dysphoria trans people how do you do this /j
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Which version of Rick is your fav?
it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick
then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick
I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?
#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because#Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show#his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished?#idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though#and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY#there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife#I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick#and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man#I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family#WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR#and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine!#I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family#cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience#yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents#I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up#it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family#they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying#but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant#unless you want me to?#idk if I even made sense but that's all good#rick and morty#rick and morty fandom#rick#memory rick#evil rick#C-137#Rick Sanchez
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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God I still haven't gotten over the gut punch that was Millia saying "God, I hope not."
That ending is seared into my subconscious.
#I will preface this by saying I Truly don't think Millia and Venom wholeheartedly hate each other despite everything going on between them#but I *do* think they see themselves in each other and they *hate* that they do#I think from Millias perspective Venom is what she could've been and from Venoms perspective Millias betrayed everything they both are#to Millia Venoms someone clawing at a past shes trying to free herself from#Millia left the door open behind her yet Venom would rather stay where he is. Clinging to the memory of a dead man that did them both wrong.#but to Venom the guild was all they had. I think when Venom lost Zato it was like he'd lost *everything*#I think Venom taking over the guild was him trying to put the pieces of his life back together.#I don't think Venom can see himself being anything other than what he is like Millia can.#I think the closest the two have come to understanding each other WAS in that ending#I think Millia got through to him and thats what made Venom realise they're “like twins separated at birth”#thats why it hurt. so bad. that Millias response was “God. I hope not.”#it understandably would've struck a nerve. After everything how could you think we're still anything like each other?#“god. I hope not.” god I hope there's not a world where I live the way you do.#GJGGGUHUH GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE-#I'm a little scatterbrained at the moment. also I'm a fool I know nothing I may sound like a silly clown disclaimer big time.#I know I gotta look into some sub material for the guild to get a better grasp on them#I know this!#if anyone read this far in... hii#yappin'
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I get a little indignant when i look up the lyrics for a song that has very straightforward and understandable meaning to anyone who has experienced a modicum of emotional pain in their life and there are websites like "Song Lyrics Explained" like ohhh some people have never had their heart broken I see.
#my stuff#if you look me in the eyes and say you don't 'get' Sleep Token's Apparition or Take Me Back To Eden in general...#like what even is there to say. they're about waking up from bittersweet dreams abt ppl you can't see anymore for reasons you didn't choose#and longing to return to experiences that cannot be recreated if the people you love don't make the effort to hold onto it like you do.#i am quite literally sick with longing and grief these past couple days and these are the only songs keeping me halfway sane#this all could have gone so very different. i know where you are. i know how to reach you. but i can't. you asked me not to.#so i have to cope with the knowledge that you're a short walk away almost every day and yet I'll probably never see you again#and it's not because i did anything wrong you're just the sort of person who can't be friends with someone after a romance#and your goodbye was absolute shit and i hate it and i want some fucking shred of acknowledgement that i deserve better!!!!#i want to know you aren't just trying to forget me entirely!! I want to be remembered!! I am remembering you!!
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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