#but I also feel like sometimes the ''weird girl'' thing might give off alien vibes somehow (?) like she just clearly doesn't belong in this

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Thank god Sasha was confirmed bisexual, otherwise people would hc her as lesbian solely and exclusively because she's kind of a bitch.

[dateamonster]

if anyones curious, heres a big ol list of anime horror ive enjoyed that dont revolve entirely around cute children being harmed for shock:

paranoia agent: an awesome single-season show thats perfect to binge-watch imo. it follows the interwoven stories of several victims of the phantom figure known as shonen bat who takes the form of a child in rollerskates and attacks strangers with his beat up baseball bat. the only thing that seems to connect these victims is that they are visited by him in a moment of absolute desperation, and somehow their lives seem to improve after being attacked. to say anything else would ruin the mystery. give it a shot. this series owns and the intro music is iconic.

perfect blue: i feel like everyone who likes animated horror already knows about perfect blue but if not, you absolutely should. a suspense heavy, brain-breaking thriller about an ex-pop-idol who quits to become an actress, only to be haunted by a mirror version of herself who is less than happy with her decision. her grasp on reality starts to slip as the pressures of her new job and a string of violent murders slowly chip away at her sanity. definitely mind the content warnings for this one.

yamishibai: an anthology series of short scary stories presented with fun, simplistic animation. every episode is fairly short iirc so its very easy to just plow through the whole series. especially good if ur the type to enjoy a classic ghost story.

serial experiments lain: sort of hard to explain. this is another like Classic. it is about a highschool girl so i am sort of breaking my own rules here but like the vibe is entirely different then what you might expect. its a trippy, deeply weird series from 1998 about the ways technology may begin to encroach on our lives and shape our identity. i really love older media that speculates about the ways our relationship with tech might develop in the future. if you like scifi and psychological aspects to your horror, you will probably like this.

pet shop of horrors: i havent actually seen the anime so i dont know how well it holds up but i was obsessed with the manga as a Youth and id recommend at least giving the series a look. anthology-like with a connecting thread of a spooky pet shop where rare exotic and sometimes deadly creatures are sold.

lily c.a.t.: its alien except its not. scifi horror about the crew and passengers of a spaceship whos interstellar journey is thrown off course by a shape-shifting alien invader. literally if you like alien or the thing or anything like that, this is that but animated. i think the strongest thing about this one isnt necessarily the horror of the alien itself but the horror of being stranded, far from home and trapped in a confined space with a bunch of near strangers and a massive yawning void just outside your window. there are some moments in lily cat that just made me think about how huge and unforgiving not only space but the passage of time is and im honestly still a little freaked.

akira: i mean, obviously. i dont know what i could say about this that hasnt already been said except this is the movie that made me start getting into body horror. its beautiful, its horrific, its a fucking staple of dystopia fiction. i guess you could argue its more scifi/action than traditional horror in a lot of ways, but some of the stuff near the end (that i def saw when i was too young to be watching this) taught me a whole new definition of fear so. do with that what u will i guess.

there are a couple more i cant remember the names of right now so ill come back to this if my brain ever decides to start working again. almost all of these contain some really heavy subjects so be careful and seek out content warnings if you need to.

also i dont really care about subs vs dubs arguments but a lot of these are on the slightly older side and as a result some of the english voice acting work is... not great. either way do what feels right to you just keep that in mind.

[allaboardtheussharringrove]

So @billy-baby mentioned That 70’s Show and Harringrove, and it reminded me of a *whole ass* set of hc’s about a 70’s/Stranger Things AU that has been sitting in my notes for literal years collecting dust, so here it is:

-Billy & Hyde would be besties, probably neighbours in the same shitty neighbourhood

-They headbang to hard rock and metal, jam to 60’s & 70’s rock while drinking TONS of beer and hotboxing the Camaro and El Camino, respectively

-Bands they’d have in common: AC/DC, Black Sabbath & Ozzy Osbourne, Scorpions, KISS, Judas Priest, Van Halen, and Led Zeppelin just to name a couple

-Hyde always gives Billy shit for like, never wearing a shirt, Billy gives Hyde shit for his ever-present sunglasses & sideburns

-They know each other’s parental problems, and take refuge in the Forman’s basement/the empty Harrington house (yes, we’re talkin’ a Hawkins, Indiana/Point Place, Wisconsin mashup here)

-Billy still has a major crush on Steve (Harrington that is, Steven Hyde will only be referred to as Hyde [and that possible name mix-up could cause some hilarity whenever anyone calls out “Steven”, and some embarrassing rumour drama for Billy, Steve, & Hyde (or omg a block party at the Formans where Kitty calls out “William! Steven! Michael!” And she turns around and has Billy, Will, Hyde, Steve, Mike, and Kelso starting at her expectantly)])

-Billy probably also thinks Eric and Kelso are kinda cute, but total dumbasses, they both definitely annoy him

-Fez would have a totally awkward and hilarious crush on Billy, and you just know Billy would flirt with him on purpose just to make him nervous (this might make Steve a lil jealous and annoy him to no end)

-Jackie would have the BIGGEST crush on Steve, after Kelso, and drag him around to go shopping and shit, he would tolerate it but Billy would absolutely hate her as a “bitchy rich entitled snot-nosed brat” cause she would be vocal about him being poor and he’d have to be calmed down by Hyde and Steve all the time

-Billy would give Hyde an unimaginable amount of shit for going out with Jackie, hooo boy!

-Steve would get a kick outta Kelso, but I think he and Eric would be pretty close friends, with Steve always pushing to hang around at the Forman’s cause Eric’s parents are always present, as opposed to his empty house (he adores Kitty Forman for SURE as the mother he never had)

-But the gang would surely hold parties at the Harrington’s....and only sometimes get away with it (both these groups are known for their KEGS! and the 70’s teens would lose their damn minds over Keg Kings Billy & Steve)

-Billy would put the charm on for Kitty sometimes just to see her blush, and Red would get annoyed and just a little threatening saying something like “Like to see how charming you are with my foot up your ass” and Billy being the abused kid that he is automatically takes it a little too seriously- probably flinches, goes a little pale, stutters out a “Yes sir, sorry sir”

-This would make Kitty and Red a bit concerned, pay a visit to the Hargrove household- I wouldn’t be surprised if they experience Neil putting Billy down or catch a glimpse of a smack or something and they would for sure take action with Red intimidating Neil cause you know he could

-Anyway! Girls. Robin and Donna would be THE BEST FRIENDS EVER, cause Donna had no other cool girl friend to hang out with and you just KNOW Robin might have an “itsy bitsy” (huge) crush on Donna, cause she’s Hot Donna, also they’re both super into female empowerment (and honestly, when Donna/Eric break up I could see her maybe falling for Robin too)

-Donna and Billy would be buds, she might like him for a hot minute but be cool with him being gay (Out of everyone in the 70’s gang, I think he’d most likely share this with her - cause she’d probably figure it out - even if it’s just to gush about their dumb, brave, pretty brunette boys to each other)

-Max would LOVE Donna, not just because of the hair (but also redhead solidarity is important), but because they’re both badasses and would totally vibe together- Max, Billy, and Donna would be an unexpectedly fun trio (and Billy would complain about having to drive the “GingeTwins” around all the time or something to that effect)

-And Jackie having to babysit Erica (because Donna does it sometimes, but she’s out for the night) would be the best thing ever good lord, Erica would put Jackie in her place, but they’d probably make up some schemes together too

-Also Erica would be absolutely appalled at having a similar name to Eric, she’d probably call him something along the lines of “Supreme Nerd” or “King of the Nerds” and have an endless supply of unimpressed looks for him during their debates of whose name is better

-Eric would totally join Mike, Will, Lucas & Dustin in their nerd exploits (STAR WARS!) And he and Dustin would get into loooong nerd debates

-I think Kelso would join Dustin & Lucas (and maybe the other boys too) in doing mischievous experiments including but not limited to: pyrotechnics, wrist rockets, radios and electronics... He’d begrudgingly listen to the scientific explanations of the boys (which would all fly right over his head) and they would have a moderate success rate, but also have to run away from the trouble they’d get in

-Lucas and Hyde would always be cool, but after finding out about Hyde’s biological dad they could become closer (Hyde’s dad and Lucas would have the best banter)

-Will and Eric would geek out over comics, and I think Eric would be super nice/supportive about seeing Will’s drawings

-Jonathan would be pretty quiet at first, but might talk to Fez since they’re both kinda the odd man out in each group (and he’d be genuinely NICE to Fez, *side eyes 70’s teens*)- then he’d be roped into doing random/stupid/mildly illegal stuff with the gang

-And despite Billy & Hyde being besties, I think Jonathan would bond with Hyde over shitty dads (plus I think Hyde would love Joyce, and she’d be another offer of refuge for him & Billy) and WEED WEED WEED

-Actually that might definitely be a sub-trio: Jonathan, Billy, & Hyde- they’d all have each other’s backs when it came to family drama (and later on when Hyde gets his record store, he’d offer them both jobs and Jonathan would be over the fuckin’ moon and work there)

-Billy would for sure work for Red in his muffler shop, and Red would take him under his wing, probably unwittingly become the father figure Billy never had.

-Nancy, hmmm, well she’s on the richer side of town so her and Jackie might be friends? but she’d for sure get annoyed with Jackie’s shallow bullshit

-OH and Robin would also hate Jackie I think, ‘cause of her entitlement and relentless obsession with boys (poor Jackie, I’m not setting her up for anything great here huh)

-So that’d be why Steve is friends with her, if only ‘cause he feels bad when she alienates herself from the rest of the teens, they (and I hate to say this) *could possibly* date for like 5 minutes, it’d be a REALLY hard time for Billy...and Kelso. And those two would probably come up with some hairbrained scheme to break them up (and succeed, but each get ripped a new one because of it)

-But at least the group of teen girls would be bigger if Donna, Robin, Jackie, and Nancy all hung out together sometimes (and if they tried to have a sleepover or something there would be toooo many idiot boys trying to creep on them, I think Billy would be the voice of reason and tell them they’re all being dickheads)

-And he’d give Fez a fuck ton of shit for being such a voyeuristic creep, probably make him stop hiding in people closets (wait what? Fez is like constantly coming out of closets in that show?! hello?? is that a thing??? Oh ho-ho they’d have a whole talk about that)

-Steve would get a kick outta Fez, probably think he was the funniest dude on the planet, as I’d say they’re the goofballs of the group (and yes, I am mostly excluding the King Steve narrative from this and using only cool mom Steve, cool? cool.)

-Steve might also have a lil crush on Donna, (‘cause a strong personality and blue eyes is like his kink, we all know this) but Eric would throw a fit about that and then they’d be all buddy-buddy discussing Donna & Billy (I think Eric being kind of a dumbass about his own gay kiss might put Steve off for a bit [and make Billy super hesitant and real pissed], but I also think Eric would be cool with hearing Steve out about his big bisexuality-discovery-adventure)

-Donna and Eric trying set Steve and Billy up by saying they’re all gonna hang out, and then like locking Billy/Steve in a room together or something and leaving😈

-When Billy/Steve’s relationship comes out, Hyde’s reaction is probably “That’s cool, man” Kelso would make some corny statement about how hot *he* is, Fez would probably fangirl over it with big ole heart eyes, Jackie would be like “weird, whatever”, Kitty would get flustered and then overly excited about it after a while, Red would be uncomfortable but okay with it saying something like “I better not catch you two dumbasses doing anything in my house”

-Ohmygod, Red as a father figure to Billy, Kitty as a mother figure to Steve, and they end up being so supportive of the boys ‘cause they have to put up with so much parental shit (say what you want, but the Formans have compassion) and they convert their house/backyard into a little private prom for the whole gang just so Billy/Steve can dance together and be themselves

-Billy, Steve, and Robin would die laughing every time they saw/talked to Leo. And I feel like Robin would talk her way into a job at the Photo Hut and then just end up being the manager and hires Jonathan herself to do the developments

-And you know how Hyde is always punching Kelso in the arm? Well he’d always get one, and Billy would punch the other arm as he’d classify Kelso a special kind of idiot, they’d always be teasing Kelso together, but Billy (and Steve I’m sure) would have some wicked BURNS that Kelso would love

-Steve and Kelso as friends? Sure, pretty boys gotta stick together~ especially when Steve gets called that by Billy, and then Kelso insists he’s a prettier boy, and Billy either rolls his eyes or flirts aggressively cause Kelso doesn’t understand WHY that’s Steve’s nickname, and it’s a whole can of worms you guys

-(And I didn’t forget about El, I’m just not quite sure where she fits in this AU... she probably doesn’t have powers and is the new kid who moves into town cause of a bad home life, she’d befriend Max in school and then I think Donna would take her under wing, then she’d be a hit with the teen gang cause she’d break her quietness with witty comments/one-liners, and since she’s very intuitive still, she gravitates towards Billy & Hyde and there would be some touching heart-to-hearts about shitty parental situations followed immediately after by inappropriate offers of beer to which she responds with a firm “gross”)

-And finally, *the Circle* would be so much bigger and funnier with the Stranger Teens in it

[l-egionaire]

She Loves Me Not- Chapter 1-An Owl House Fanfic.

Willow had had just about enough.

When she first realized Amity's obvious crush on Luz it had been somewhat funny. Seeing her serious and studious childhood friend being turned into a red-faced stammering mess by the human girl couldnt help but cause her to snicker. But after nearly three weeks of seeing Amity practically swoon as soon as Luz so much as gazed in her general direction and her friend still being almost painfully oblivious to her affections, Willow decided something needed to change.

She knew that if she just told Luz about Amity's crush, the witch would personally sic her largest abomination on her. So she would have to help Luz figure it out on her own. Which would be difficult as it seemed like Luz was especially dense when it came to Amity's feelings about her.

Case in point, when Amity leapt up from their lunch table with her face the color of blood and Luz's only response was "huh, guess something didn't agree with her." Willow was tempted to bang her head against the table.

Thankfully, she found the perfect moment while the two of them where walking down the hall and Luz had started talking about a new piece of Azura fanfiction she'd read.

"So then Azura pushes Hecate out of the way and takes the blow from the burning heckhound! Horrified by whats happened to her friend, Hecate is filled with rage and power and defeats the monster with one powerful blast of magic!" Luz swept her arm in excitement, just narrowly missing hitting Willows forehead. She chuckled nervously after noticing. "Sorry. Anyway, Hecate runs to Azura's side and cradles her in her arms. Hecate asks "why would you do that?" And Azura says "I couldn't lose you." Oh, it was just so romantic!"

Willow raised a brow at Luz's word choice. "Romantic?"

"Yeah. I mean, the author isn't really a Heczula shipper but the way they interact in the story just gives such a really strong romantic vibe. I tried telling the same thing to Amity but she said she didn't really see it."

Resisiting the urge to smile at the irony, Willow carefully asked. "So, Amity isn't really into romance?"

"Oh no, she's actually a HUGE Heczula fan. In fact she even showed me some really great fan art she'd done. I actually asked her about working together to make our own special Heczula piece. Marry our skills so to speak."

She could just imagine Amity's response to that. Still keeping her expression as neutral as possible, Willow pressed on.

"Speaking of Amity and romance, has she talked to her crush yet?"

Luz frowned. "No. And I don't know why. I mean, I get that she was afraid of being rejected but its Amity. She's smart, talented, cute. No way someone would reject her."

Okay, Luz calling Amity "cute" wasn't a bad sign. "Maybe its because she's already got a relationship with this person. You know, like a friendship shes scared of messing up."

Luz immediately struck a hand out in front of Willow and they both came to a stop. The human girl gasped like a banshee, practically sucking in air.

"Of course! She's developed feelings for a friend and now fears her romantic attraction will end up damaging their friendship if she reveals it! Its such a common romance trope, how could've I have missed that?!" She gave another loud gasp. "Ogmigosh. I know who Amity's crush is!"

Willow couldn't help but smirk. About time.

"Its you Willow! Amity has a crush on you!"

Willows left eye started to twitch and she internally groaned at her friend once again drawing the wrong conclusion.

Mustering up as much effort as possible, she calmly asked. "What makes you think that?"

"Well it all fits. You two were close childhood friends before suddenly being separated. You've started rebuilding your relationship which probably caused her to realize that her feelings for you went beyond friendship and because things only just started getting better between you she's scared of admitting her feelings because she doesn't want to lose you again!" Luz declared, looking extremely pleased with herself.

Okay, that actually made since. "Yeah. But you know Luz...that could also apply to you too."

Luz's pride turned to confusion. "What?"

"Well, you two only recently became friends after not liking each other and she might not want to mess up your friendship since its so new." Willow said slowly, hoping it would finally sink in to her.

Luz stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter.

After a round of giggles, she wiped a tear from her eye. "Thats ridiculous. Amity couldn't have a crush on me!"

At this point Willow couldn't swallow the annoyance when she replied. "And why not?!"

She expected to hear "we're just friends " or "we danced at Grom" as Luz's defense but what she said next completely shocked her.

"Amity would never be interested someone like me."

Both the statement and the paradoxical chuckle Luz gave while saying it zapped away whatever anger Willow had at her obliviousness and replaced it with intense confusion.

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't Amity be interested in you?"

"Because Amity is, well, Amity and I'm me." The way Luz said it, t as if it should be completely obvious, caused Willow to get a twisted feeling in her stomach. Before she could say anything Luz pressed on.

"I mean, Amity's a skilled witch, Hexsides top student, she's planning on being part of the emperors coven one day! Plus she's rich, popular, she makes great fanart. And me? I'm...barely able to do magic. And I can't even do it the right way like you guys thanks to my stupid human organs. I'm not even a real witch. I mean, if Amity had a crush on me, you really think she'd be afraid of me rejecting her?"

Willow just stared at her in stunned silence. She was waiting for Luz to yell "kidding" or say that this was just a joke and she'd known about Amity's crush the whole time. But the bittersweet smile on Luz's face told her that she was completely serious.

She couldn't believe it. Luz, quite possibly the nicest person she knew, the one who tried to help her with a school project at the risk of being violently dissected, the one who'd managed to get past Amity's walls and become her friend, honestly thought that Amity didn't consider her good enough to have a crush on.

"Luz, I'm sure Amity doesn't think that way." Willow argued. "You two are friends now! You have that book club thing you do together! She doesn't think of you as less than her! In fact, I bet if you asked she'd definitely say she would be interested in you!"

Hopefully that would kill two birds with one stone.

"I can't do that Willow. Like you said, things are good between me and Amity. The last thing I want is to scare her off because she thinks I got feelings for her." Luz looked to the side and muttered. "I don't want to end up losing another friend because I pushed too much."

Her voice was so low Willow almost didn't hear her. She couldn't help but notice her use of word in particular. "Another?"

Luz winced, clearly not having wanted Willow to hear her but seeing the look her friend was giving, she began to explain.

"Back at my human school I would sometimes manage to meet people who had some of the same interests I did, like Azura or Anime. We'd talk about it, meet up, it was almost like we were friends."

Luz sighed

"But eventually, I'd do something. Somthing too weird or too much. Maybe even something that ccidentally ended up getting us in trouble. And then...they didn't want to be friends anymore."

The whole time Luz spoke her voice cracked, and Willow noticed a twinkle in the corner of her eye. The defeated expression on Luz's face seemed almost alien compared to her usual beaming face.

"Luz.....".

Upon seeing the sympathetic look on her friends face, Luz cleared her throat, plastered a smile on her face and tried to unnoticingly wipe the corner of her eye.

"But, anyway, thats my point. Amity and I are at a good place and I don't need to go asking her questions that might make her uncomfortable just to make myself feel better."

Noticing that she hadn't managed to ease her friend, Luz added. "Hey, come on, relax. Its not like I don't think anyone could like me But Amity? Trust me, I think she's be a bit out of my league. Now come on, we should get to class."

"You go ahead. I'll catch up."

As she watched Luz walk away, their entire conversation replayed in her mind. She couldn't believe her friend honestly thought that way about herself. She truly thought she wasn't good enough for Amity to like.

Willow knew one thing, still felt like she had before. She'd had enough. She wasn't going to let Luz keep thinking like that about herself. She was going to do something about it.

And she knew just what that something was.

[nitrateglow]

Favorite film discoveries of 2019

Every year, my new-to-me favorites list always shocks me in some way. This year, the sheer amount of movies made in the 2010s on display is INSANE by my standards. Of course, most of the modern movies here are throwbacks or tributes to older styles of cinema, so maybe it’s not that shocking in the long run.

Another running trend this year: movies that are old but not as dated as we would wish. Many of the older films here deal with xenophobia and political strife in ways that still feel shockingly prescient today-- the more things change...

ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (DIR. QUENTIN TARANTINO, 2019)

I never thought the day would come where my favorite movie of the year would actually be made after the 1970s, let alone by Quentin Tarantino. Then again, this movie is all about the end of Old Hollywood as well as a big love letter to the 1960s, so maybe it’s not that shocking a state of affairs. I adored this movie, the level of detail, the laidback yet elegaic vibe, the comedy and the relationships between all the characters. It was one of those movies where I loved even the scenes where nothing seems to be happening at all-- I mean, who knew Brad Pitt feeding his dog and watching TV could be entertaining?? But it is and I can't wait to see this one again!

INTENTIONS OF MURDER (DIR. SHOHEI IMAMURA, 1964)

Intentions of Murder has an insane premise, one that runs the risk of being tasteless: a housewife in a miserable, exploitative marriage is raped by a sickly burglar during a home invasion. Even worse, she can’t shake him, as he’s suddenly infatuated and wants her to run away with him to the city. And weirder still: her current existence is so miserable that she’s TEMPTED. While abuse and rape are grim subjects for any story, Intentions is actually about a woman coming into her own and finally standing strong against all these men trying to use her. It’s a weird blend of drama and dark comedy, a truly savage satire on patriarchy and class-snobbery.

JOKER (DIR. TODD PHILLIPS, 2019)

I went into this movie expecting to think it was overhyped and when I first left the theater, I was all ready to say “it’s good but not THAT good.” But it ended up haunting me for weeks afterward, and I found myself thinking about how everything just tied up so well together, from the grotty urban hellscape which serves as the setting to Phoenix’s brilliant performance. It reminded me a lot of A Clockwork Orange in how intimate it lets you get to this violent man while never pretending he is someone to be glamorized or imitated.

SIMON (DIR. MARSHALL BRICKMAN, 1980)

How do I even describe Simon? Alan Arkin is brainwashed by a group of overpaid intellectuals into believing he is descended from an alien toaster. Then he gets a messiah complex and starts gathering disciples as he rails against television, condiment packets, and muzak. It’s a little uneven at times, sure, but the satire is really inspired. The whole thing is like a combination of Mel Brooks, Stanley Kubrick, and Woody Allen’s styles, and it is quite hilarious for those who thrive on cult oddities.

PEEPING TOM (DIR. MICHAEL POWELL, 1960)

Though it came out the same year as Hitchcock’s Psycho and has been nearly as influential for horror cinema, Peeping Tom remains underseen by everyone save for film theorists. And what a shame that is, because this movie is more frightening than Psycho. Sure, that may be because Psycho is so predominant in popular culture and just so influential that it no longer has the same shock value, but there’s something about Peeping Tom that gets under my skin, something sad, even disgusting. I felt dirty after watching it-- and this is 2019!

MIDNIGHT MARY (DIR. WILLIAM WELLMAN, 1933)

Loretta Young got one of her juiciest roles in this pre-code crime drama. Her Mary Martin is more than just a good girl forced into criminal circles-- she’s a complicated creature, compassionate and desperate and lonely and bitter and sensual all at once. This movie is a fast-paced, beautifully filmed ride, cloaked in that Depression-era cynicism that makes pre-code Hollywood of such interest to movie geeks the world over.

WILD BOYS OF THE ROAD (DIR. WILLIAM WELLMAN, 1933)

Wild Boys of the Road is a quintessential Depression-era movie, relentless in its bleakness and rage. That the main characters are all starving kids only looking for work makes their struggles all the harder to watch. William Wellman is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors: his gritty style and compact storytelling are just perfect for a ripped-from-the-headlines drama such as this. And the “happy” ending has one little moment that just knocks any smile you have right off your mug. Absolutely see this.

THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING (DIR. NORMAN JEWISON, 1966)

Sometimes, when you watch a movie only because a favorite actor is in it, you get subjected to pure trash like Free and Easy (oh, the things I do for Buster Keaton). Other times, you get cute gems like The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming, which, as you probably guessed, I mainly sought out for Alan Arkin. But the whole movie is hilarious, the best kind of farce comedy, populated by enjoyable characters and a sweet-tempered humanism that grounds the wackiness. While a little overlong, this movie is quite underrated-- and sadly, its satire of American xenophobia and Cold War panic is not as dated as we would like to believe.

ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN (DIR. ALAN J. PAKULA, 1976)

Who knew a political thriller where most people know the twist could be so intense and riveting? It’s about as nonsensical as feeling suspense when you watch a movie about the Titanic and hope the boat won’t sink-- but damn, it’s magical. All the President’s Men is real white-knuckle stuff, with Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman projecting both youthful excitement and deep panic as they proceed with their investigation. It scarcely seems to have aged at all.

WHISPER OF THE HEART (DIR. YOSHIFUMI KONDOU, 1995)

There’s a scene near the end of Whisper of the Heart where the protagonist Shizuku shows the finished first draft of her fantasy novel to her first reader, the grandpa of one of her schoolmates. She weeps because it isn’t the perfect image she had in her head, despite how hard she worked on it, but the old man tells her that it takes polishing and discipline to make the work come to its full potential. Few movies about artists are so honest about how hard it can be, how unsupportive others can be in their demand that everyone be “practical.” As a writer who struggles to create and constantly doubts herself, this movie spoke strongly to me. I recommend it to any creative person.

THE PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (DIR. BRIAN DE PALMA, 1976)

I’d been wanting to see this movie since my high school phan days. Holy crap, is it WEIRDER than I could have ever imagined, a true camp masterpiece. I’m shocked it was never tuned into a stage show actually, but then again, we would miss those trippy camera angles and we wouldn’t have Paul Williams as one of the greatest villains of all time.

DUEL (DIR. STEVEN SPIELBERG, 1971)

When people talk about the best movies made in the “Hitchcock without Hitchcock directing” tradition, why is Duel so seldom mentioned? The scene in the cafe, packed with paranoid tension and tense camerawork, alone should qualify it. Duel is most known as the movie which put the young Steven Spielberg on the map. It’s quite different from his later work, grittier and less whimsical for sure. Even the ending seems almost nihilistic, depending on how you view it. But damn, if it isn’t fine filmmaking.

CAROL (DIR. TODD HAYNES, 2015)

This gorgeous throwback to Douglas Sirk melodramas is also one of the best romantic movies I’ve seen in a while. Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara have the sweetest, tenderest chemistry-- it was like seeing Lauren Bacall and Audrey Hepburn as love interests in a film. Unlike Sirk, there is little in the way of ripe melodrama here-- everything is underplayed, aching, mature. And I can say this is an adaptation that is better than the source book: it just feels so much warmer.

12 ANGRY MEN (DIR. SIDNEY LUMET, 1957

All I can say is that this was every bit equal to the hype. Common movie wisdom says people sitting and talking in a room is going to be boring on film, but movies like 12 Angry Men prove this is not so when you’ve got an excellently tense atmosphere, an inspired script, and a stable of fine actors to work with. Like The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming, this movie has not significantly aged-- much to society’s discredit.

A STAR IS BORN (DIR. GEORGE CUKOR, 1954)

Another movie I went into not expecting to love as much as I did. When movies from the 20s or 30s tended to get remakes in the 1950s, I always find them too garish and big, victims of glossy Cinemascope and overlong runtimes. Compared to the lean 1937 classic original, I expected sheer indulgence from this three-hour remake. Instead, I got my heart torn out all over again-- the longer runtime is used well, fleshing out the characters to a greater degree. Judy Garland and James Mason both give what might be the best efforts of their respective careers, and the satire of the celebrity machine remains as relevant and scathing as ever.

BLANCANIEVES (DIR. PABLO BERGER, 2012)

Oh, it feels like this movie was made for me specifically. It’s shot in gorgeous, expressionistic black-and-white. It’s set in the 1920s. It’s a clever adaptation of a classic fairy tale. It’s as funny and charming as it is bittersweet and macabre. Instead of more superhero movies, can we get more neo-silent movies like this? PLEASE?

THE FAVOURITE (DIR. YORGOS LANTHIMOS, 2018)

I’ve heard The Favourite described as a “bitchy lesbian Shakespeare play,” but this description, while a little true in terms of general tone, does not get to the heart of what makes this film brilliant. More than love or sex, this movie is about power-- particularly the corrupting influence of power. And it corrupts not only morals but love itself. Innocents become Machiavellian schemers. Lovers become sadomasochistic enemies. Good intentions turn to poison. This certainly isn’t a happy movie, but it is moving and, strangely enough, also hilarious. I was reminded of the chilly, satirical world of Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon more than once-- and for me, that is not a bad movie to be reminded of.

ON THE WATERFRONT (DIR. ELIA KAZAN, 1954)

Another classic that’s been on my list forever that I was delighted to find worthy of its reputation. It’s a classic tale of redemption and social justice, perfectly acted and shot. While I still prefer A Streetcar Named Desire as far as Kazan is concerned, this might be a better movie in the objective sense. Actually, more than even Brando, Karl Malden is the acting highlight for me-- he plays a priest torn between staying silent or truly speaking for the Gospel by demanding justice for the poor parish he serves. Just brilliant work.

KLUTE (DIR. ALAN J. PAKULA, 1971)

A perfect thriller, just about, and a great example of the “NYC is hell on earth” subgenre of the 1960s and 1970s. Jane Fonda is a revelation: she feels so real, not at all like a starlet trying to seem normal if you know what I mean.

KISS KISS BANG BANG (DIR. SHANE BLACK, 2005)

As far as subversive noir goes, this is the most entertaining. I would put it up there with The Big Lebowski as far as goofy takes on Raymond Chandler are concerned-- I don’t even really know what to make of it, but I laughed my ass off anytime I wasn’t going “WHAT???”

What were your favorite film discoveries in 2019?

[girlfriendkisses]

1-50!! / the ones you want

1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me? Blindfolded probably?? but it’s not something I’m into but like not against, might be fun to try ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I just like seeing eyes, helps know what’s goin on and what ur feeling

2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse? I think for me personally preforming oral, I’d have to be super worked up. Both are good! I just like the idea, sounds hot

3. What was your high school sex fantasy? Something about gummy bear people tying me down and experimenting on me, maybe like alien stuff. Is a gummy bear gangbang like a specific kink?

4. What’s your favorite position? I like to be fucked from behind n I like to ride my daddy. And whatever is most comfy honestly!! Esp on pain days

5.  Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy? I think I have nice legs n my baby likes my ass a lot. I’m not the best w knowing my body

6.  Do you like to swallow? I really have no plans to know how to answer this

7.  Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone? My daddy!! 💕❤️💕🥰

9. Where is one place you would never have sex? In front of like my family is the only thing I can think of, I’m down anywhere

10. Top or bottom? Both! Topping and bottoming is easy people, switching is where it’s at. Like dom/sub is different from top bottom... please learn this

11.  Best sexual complement you ever got? Same! Making my daddy cum or at least get rlly close makes me rlly happy! Bc I know it’s hard with another person for him

12. When was the first time you masturbated? Wow I was a young child I can’t even remember

13.  Have/would you ever have sex outside? I have and would like to again!!

14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? My daddy and yes ❤️ means the world!

15.  Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all? Underwear and big shirts but I really want some cute and cozy jammies

16.  If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list? My daddy. He’s the to do list. Today getting spanked is rlly big on my mind and also grinding !!!

17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker? No but I don’t have to worry about that

18. Do you have a gag reflex? Not really! Like last night I was high and deep throating my fingers Bc I wanted to feel it. Like I gag sometimes but don’t like actually throw up ever

19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop? Award winning!

20. Are piercings sexy? Yesum

21. Can/Have you ever squirted before? No n I would freak out if I did

22. List your kinks. Wow so many, u know them

24. What was your first kinky sexual experience? Consensual was college and a nice girl and she tied me up n spanked me and I rlly liked it! She also collared me and fed me cookies and that was really cute of her 🥰

25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they? It can be an outlet I guess! When I want to shut off my brain

26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? Communication and reassurance!

27. Something that never fails to make you horny: my daddy posting usually or reading his blog. When he says something dirty to me or calls me babygirl it’s just immediate 🦋🦋🦋🦋 and when he send me pics!!! Looking at shirtless pictures makes me 🦋🦋🦋

29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when: I mean we’ve been walked in on and had to hide under the blanket, and when petunia sat on my butt. Last hookup that was not my partner I started crying sad tears which was awkward

30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? (handcuffs, ropes, etc.) I like my soft pink ropes a lot, I tie my wrists with them sometimes and just vibe. Anything that can be used to comfortably tie someone up!

31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny? Calling me cute pet names and kissing my neck, telling me u want me, running ur hands on my ass/hips/over my pussy. Oh wrestling. 👁👄👁

32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: I don’t really want people to find my daddy collar but idc about the rest

34. How big is too big? I have worlds tiniest pussy so basically more than 2 fingers at this point

35. One sexual thing you would never do: yeah I’m not super into rimming

36. Three spots that drive me insane: my ass is rlly sensitive, my thighs, and my pussy lips. My neck is too! I don’t know my body too well

37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Yes god please

38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum? Yeah!!! Cumming is intense and sometimes I can’t do it

39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not? I watch strap porn n gay porn rarely, mostly watch porn I can relate to! Support trans pornstars and content creators!

41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not? I love it and it’s good ! I love how my baby moans and guides my head, I love how his dick twitches sometimes and the yummyness

42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them? I have a tentacle for a week now but I am bleeding but soon. I did tease the tip a tiny bit but not in

44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) this question makes me want to puke

46. Spanking: turn on or turn off? Turn on!!! So much!! I am really super very desperate for it!!! Spank me!!! I need to get a paddle or crop just to make it easier to spank myself when daddy isn’t here

47.  What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? Christmas lights 🤪

48. Biggest sexual fantasy? I have so many! But my main long term sex goal (?) is to take daddy’s whole strap. And rn for him to fuck me with his built in dick

49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer? Kitchen counter 🙈💕

50. Thoughts on period sex? No thanks! Grinding with many layer maybe but I’m pill now so no thanks! Blood = bad

[skepticalspooky]

hellbent

msr | fluff | college au | one-off/stand-alone

hello i’ve never written a fic before but i guess i have now! please feel free to give feedback. i aim to please (probably). also this is pretty short so i apologize for that.

A lettermen-clad frat boy thrust an unidentifiable drink at Scully as soon as her shoe hit the weird linoleum floor. Who picks linoleum for a walkway? The vibe of the house was anxious yet somehow sexual and the acoustics made by linoleum didn’t help. Maybe wanting to experience a college party was silly. It seemed atrocious so far, with the plethora of half naked 20-year-olds and the overbearing smell of vodka and perfume and weed. Scully felt like she was in another dimension where time moved one hundred times faster than normal. A guy that she vaguely recognized from some class came up to her and tried his hand at catcalling, though it didn’t carry the intended effect seeing as he was five inches away and had to face the consequences. His hand gripped her back in a way that could be passed off as “flirting” but was more likely his attempt at keeping balance. Of course, Scully had to decline his offer of “test riding his dick” by stepping on his foot. It was unfortunate for him that she was wearing wide heeled boots. He retaliated by calling her a bitch which, much to his chagrin, had no effect on the answer she already made clear. Tugging on her two-sizes-too-big jacket, Scully decided to make her way into the calmer yard. There, she was met with the odd couple making out and a few groups chatting about things that won’t matter in 10, maybe even 5, years. But who cares? Why not live in the moment? Thinking about the deeper meaning of every move and every word and every person gets tiring. A prime example of someone living in the moment was the kid who just received an unbranded cigarette from a random. Or was it a cigarette? Scully had all the time in the world to think about it because this kid was blissfully unaware of anything but his maybe-cigarette and the stars. She even clocked a few glances thrown his way, out of intrigue or lust, yet he sat unwavering, hellbent on outer space. A scary and often forgotten part of her wanted him to be hellbent on her. Not necessarily sexually, no, but in some way or ways, she wanted his attention because it seemed so sweet. An even scarier part of her knew he would be hellbent on her if he knew her. An instinct maybe, or perhaps just hope. At this point, she figured out that she had been staring for a bit too long. He was staring straight back, eyes smiling in unison with mouth. Could he read her mind? She desperately hoped that wasn’t so. Scully hung on to every moment as this mystery boy made room on his blanket and pat a seat beside him, holding relentless eye contact. She could practically see her eyes widening in excessive disbelief and her face reddening just enough to be noticeable. Nevertheless, her feet floated her to his stupid checkered lawn blanket and forced herself down. One would expect the first words spoken from this mysterious college kid to be somewhat thought-provoking or even brooding. They were not.

“Your coat. I like it.”

Her coat. He liked it. Her two-sizes-too-big brown bomber jacket. The one with all the patches. He liked it.

“Thanks. I like your...” she couldn’t search fast enough and too many off-putting things were coming to mind, “glasses.” She did. They were nice round glasses. He only needed them for reading really, but he seemed to like them too. Truth be told, they were both a bit flustered. It felt different for two complete strangers to share this common timidness upon meeting, yet it was there. Oh, was it there. Perhaps one of them was thinking too much about what the other looked like under their cool jacket and cursed themselves for thinking about that having just met them. Maybe the other wanted to run their fingers through the other’s hair just because it looked so soft and oh my God could not believe they were being so weird right now. But that’s merely one interpretation of events, of course.

“I’m Fox, but Mulder is preferred.” Fox Mulder? My Lord did this kid’s reputation precede him. This was Spooky, Spooky Mulder, the guy who believed in aliens and shit! Scully never had a face to put with the name. Her intrusive but welcomed thoughts said it was a good face.

“I’m Dana- uh, Scully.” She couldn’t tell if she was stumbling over words (her own name of all things) or if she was subconsciously following that last name pattern.

He simply repeated her. “Scully.” It sounded pretty good coming from him.

“Nice to meet you, F- um, Mulder.” Again with the word stumbling? Then again, she wasn’t used to people going by their last name. Then again, she was formulating excuses like clockwork with this guy. He laughed. He was clearly struggling a bit here too. If only she knew his excuses. He was just nervous about this other thing, he was just hot because of the weather. Maybe they could exchange excuses sometime.

A necessary subject change, if you wanted to say they had a subject to change at all, came on a shooting star. It was unusual to see a shooting star with all the artificial light surrounding the pair, but there was no denying its twinkling as it shot across the sky only to shrink and fade away. “Do you ever make wishes on those things?” He sounded a bit gruff. Scully was still red. He wasn’t helping.

“Not really. It’s more of a fun phenomenon to me. But it shows me that I’m on the right track by living in the moment, I guess.” Was she rambling? She had four-ish sips of beer, does that lead to Scully mini-tangents? It was all another excuse and she knew it.

“Hm. That’s a different way of looking at it.” He paused a moment with no sign of elaboration. “I make wishes sometimes.”

“What do you wish?”

He didn’t answer, he just smiled. She didn’t pry.

“But your thing with being on the right track. I think I’m gonna use that now. Like, um, would I have seen that if I was arguing or staying in or something?”

“Yeah, exactly. You probably wouldn’t have. But you made the choices that led you to see it instead.”

He nodded. “Plus, it might make girls think I’m deep.” Scully laughed, but he was right. It kinda worked and she hated it. “But it makes me think about other things that are out there, too.”

“Like... like, aliens?” She could see the Spooky in him now. He seemed so serious about this that she almost moved away a bit. She didn’t.

“I can sense the skepticism, Scully!”

“Mulder, if you think that’s skepticism, you should hear my thoughts on the WOW! signal.” They could both feel eyes on them at this point, but surprisingly Scully didn’t care. She couldn’t not look into his eyes when he started talking about aliens and bigger meanings of things and, at one low point, Bigfoot. Scully even dropped the excuses and quietness and replaced it with a newfound comfort. He gave her goosebumps when he spoke about crazy theories in a smooth tone and it made her laugh, really laugh, when he rolled her eyes as she disputed him. He certainly was hooked on her sarcasm and questioning looks. Her prodding was like the missing piece to his mixed-up Mulder puzzle. Sometimes, when he thought she couldn’t see him because she was laughing away from him, he looked at her like he was hellbent on her. She could see him.

When she was done laughing, she would push away a loose strand of her scarlet hair. Mulder noticed this happen every time for about nine muffled song changes, not that he was counting. This time, he took the liberty of tucking the strand away himself, lingering on her jawline only a few seconds too long. Scully couldn’t do anything but look down at her shoes. The sound of car doors slamming and crickets chirping and distant songs and loud laughing made for a nice distraction. But the alcohol proved to override this effect. Rosy-cheeked Scully wanted to speak her mind and she was only a bit buzzed.

“I can’t believe I’ve never seen you before.” Mulder looked away from her when she spoke.

“I tend to stay out of the, uh, spotlight,” he replied after a few pointless moments, annunciating the T’s in “spotlight.” Scully nodded understandingly, yet she yearned for him to be in the spotlight. She figured it would be a nice change of pace. She didn’t say that. No, she wasn’t that brave yet.

“Talking to you is easy.” Wonderful, changing the topic and beating around the bush. Hey, it made Mulder smile.

“I feel the same about you. It’s nice having someone who... pays attention? I don’t know if that makes sense. I just feel like you’re listening.”

“I’m listening.”

“Am I talking too much?”

“Did you forget the part of our conversation where I talked about my 8th grade Halloween dance for ten minutes?” Another Mulder smile, but this one came with a laugh. Now his hand was on her hand and he was sitting closer to her than she thought and was that her heart she heard beating? Or was it his? A common theme returning, intrusive thoughts got the best of Scully and all she could think about were his lips. Lucky for her, his mind was racing too. He wanted to be pressed against her; soft yet tense, breathing yet unmoving. She wanted to know how his hair felt between her fingers and she couldn’t explain why because she didn’t need to. That’s how it was and that’s how it will be. Their brains sparked at the same time as they turned to look at each other at the same moment. In a “fuck it, this needs to be true” moment, Mulder moved his hand to Scully’s shoulder as he leaned into the space between them. Scully met him in the middle, her lips carefully finding his before he could reach her. It was different than she expected in the best way possible. His lips were soft but his face was contrastingly rough, and as she let her hand wander to his hair she found that it was soft too. Pulling away but lingering close, the two weren’t quite sure what to say. They’d just met and now they were swapping spit in some stranger’s yard. Less romantic than expected, but perhaps the fact that it was so thrilling and a bit spontaneous made up for it. She thought a kiss would be the cure, but Scully’s heart didn’t stop racing and she was fine with that. Mulder looked at her for the longest time as she thought. Visually, he was unaffected. Deep down, he felt he could run a mile. She seemed pretty perfect to him before and this confirmed it. Not once had he felt so connected to someone before. Sure, she disagreed with him on almost everything, but she listened and truthfully had some great ideas of her own. He loved that she could take an urban legend and it explain it fluidly and scientifically as if she was writing a revolutionary report in her mind. Maybe it was the beer or the group of assholes smoking in front of them. No, that’s wrong. It couldn’t have been. God, was it time to talk now? He didn’t know what to say and she obviously didn’t either. He went with the first thing that came to mind.

“How come we’ve never met before?”

[solli]

a season 2 au where seblaine is in vocal adrenaline because why the hell not  (part 1 - tina)

here’s what happened on glee - vocal adrenaline verse: it’s 2010 and vocal adrenaline are still relevant. seblaine are taking up the mantle after jesse st.james graduated. Sebastian is vicious, Blaine is ruthless, and together they are a nightmare.

or: a story told trough short episodes in multiple povs by the new directions kids. a bit voyeuristic in nature but i love me some outside perspective.

will loosely follow any storyline i can remember about season 2. if anything rings weird just roll with it.

(ao3 link)

Tina isn't sure how or why they fooled themselves into thinking Vocal Adrenaline would be a joke this year.

Sure, they lost Jesse St.James to UCLA and apparently their coach with him- Show Choir blogs supects illicit affairs- but more than half of the members didn't graduate and their coreographer is apparently still in the game.

Moreover, they apparently pulled a shorter, more hyper, more top 40 Jesse St.James out of their ass.

It's just an invitational, and it feels like they're doing the half show at Super Bowl.

Just when Tina thinks she’s had enough, that’s it, it can’t get any worse than a sexy voice crack strategically planted in the last verse of Teenage Dream, here they are, wrapping the Katy Perry up and diving into Don't Stop Me Now. She knew there had to be a reason why they're all dressed in thight leather pants. 

The Queens performance is clearly a message to anyone who ever tried and made the assumption Vocal Adrenaline was dead. The new lead might not be Jesse St.James, but he doesn't try to be. 

He doesn't need to when he’s that good.

The second the song dies and the boy let himself fall from the top of the stairs into the arms of the other members, Tina decides that A, they're doomed, B, she needs to go to the bathroom in case the nausea really turns into puke.

All the New Directions follow her when she sprints out of the auditorium, instantly flocking up in dire times.

"Who is that?" Rachel shreeks, off tune, marching into the bathroom.

It's a stupidly nice bathroom. There’s a shared hall with unbroken mirrors and some sink, girls door on the left and boys on the right. It's big enough they can all fit in there.

Tina would fill Rachel in with her show choir blogs knowledge, and tell her his name should be Blaine Anderson, but Santana is bitching.

"Where do they pull them from? Are they a metrosexual mop head business?"

"Metrowhat?" Finn asks off topic, and Kurt fills him in, and the whole conversation breaks in small bursts until Rachel is putting her foot down.

"We have to do something! What if we meet them at Sectionals? They're gonna end us!" she panics, and Tina does have to give credit when it's due: Rachel is a mood setter.

Usually, it's a positive attribute. As annoying as she is, some of her determination rubs off of them and give them confidence even as she tells them they suck. There’s always a backhanded compliment to be gripped, as she tell them they have the potential to be great, if only they didn’t have misguided work ethics. But when Rachel is panicking, there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

Tina sobs. Mercedes shouts. Puckerman punches the wall.

"We could make aliens abduct them." Brittany shrugs.

"Or we could poison them." Kurt follows.

"Or get them all mononucleosis." Santana adds.

"Or send the lead singer to a crack house!" Rachel lits up, pointing a finger to nobody.

There's some silence as they all turn to her.

Tina doesn't know the numbers exactly, but she knows while some are shocked, some are actually considering the plan. She herself isn’t sure where she stands on the topic.

"Or we could, you know, reharse." Quinn muses with her breathy indoor voice, somehow managing to sound the loudest.

All heads turn to her.

"Cheerios aren't National champions because we're hot, and Vocal Adrenaline aren't that good because they were born with it. I know sweat when I see it." 

Somehow Tina's brain suggests her the very notion of reharsing is outrageous, but rationally she knows Quinn's right.

"Yes!" Rachel point at her. "That's the attitude I’m searching for!"

"Shouldn't we, like, have fun? They don't look like they have fun." the new blonde kid asks and everyone blinks at him.

Just as Rachel is shouting back that show choir is serious business, the bathroom door opens and Tina almost has an heart attack.

It's Blaine Anderson.

She's seen photos online, but they don't give him justice. He's a fucking disney prince. There's sweat on his forehead, and his hair are acting out around his hairline giving him a vibe reminiscing of post orgasm. He pulls off neon yellow suspenders like Tina didn't know was possible to do, and most of all it's absolutely, outrageously unfair how he wears those leather pants. He's too short and his legs to torso ratio shouldn't make him any favour, and yet his thighs look sinful and Tina would reach for Mike's abs to steady herself, if she wasn't paralized.

Because if other than looking unfairly hot, Blaine is not looking particularly treacherous, Sebastian Smythe is standing behind him, an arm around Blaine's waist and a finger hooked in the belt loop of Blaine’s pants.

She heard the stories.

Coreographer. Son of a state attorney and a french actress. Enough mean, creative quotes to have a dedicated fan page in the show choir blogoshpear.The worst thing is, Tina can see it all- the moment Sebastian's smile turns to a smirk, the way his back straightens, his eyes narrows, and the cruel unforgiving way he gives them all a onceover. There's something familiar in the way he's looking at them.

"Oh, look." he says in a drawl, ducking his head. "The lovable little band of mistfits. Here to ask for some private lessons?"

Oh, yes. It's like being double targeted by both Quinn and Santana. Vicious and condescending.

"Sebastian." Blaine raises a hand to tap his knuckles against the other's chest. "Be nice."

Sebastian rolls his eyes but he scoots Blaine closer to him, his hand palming Blaine's hips and damn, that is an unfairly narrow waist.

"Tina?" Mike whispers in her ears when she feels his abs up. It's washed down by Santana snickering, loud enough to make Sebastian know it's mocking.

"Someone's on a leash."

Blaine closes his eyes like he's preparing for the worst, and Tina can tell Sebastian's weighing his options, but he's seemingly in a good enough mood.

"Kinky." he shrugs off, his thumb hooking in the waistband of Blaine's pants and oh. Oh. Oh.

Blaine sighs and Tina aks herself again why she's underestimating Vocal Adrenaline.

"You do look like you'd know all about leashes,-"

"Sebastian." Blaine cuts him off, and the tension's is thick enough Tina can feel it weighing down her chest.

"We didn't come here for this, did we?" he asks, titling his head up to look at him, and Tina hates those lashes and that soft jaw with a burning passion.

"Fine. I'll be nice. Hope you enjoyed the show." he flashes them a toothy smile that couldn't ooze more sarcasm.

"I think you were great at Regionals." Blaine smiles to them, and it's sickenly sweet how genuine his small, polite smile looks. "I'm really sorry we got drafted in the same turn last year, I would have loved to see what you’d have done at Nationals. Let's hope we can all make it this year."

The silence is thick as they all wait for the punch.

"I think you broke them." Sebastian smiles, and it's weirdly not hostile. "What is that they say? Kill them with kidness?"

"I'm serious." Blaine says, but there's a little smug line in his smile that wasn't there before. "We might be rivals, but there's no reason for us to be enemies. Well, not anymore." he adds, scrunching his nose, his eyes going up to his right like he's reviewing their history.

"The espionage was mostly for personal reasons that aren't on the table anymore, and Blaine is against egging, so that's also an off deal. Right, killer?" Sebastian elaborates.

"No bullying or assaults this year." Blaine confirms, and it's reassuring. "The one who'll win will do it fair and square." he adds, his head tilting and those doe-eyes of him wide and friendly, his smile perfectly polite, and suddenly Tina's bones are chilling and she's never been more terrified in her life.

They all stare as Rachel flips her hair and steps towards Blaine, extending her hand. He takes it and they shake on it.

"Deal."

"Deal." Blaine smiles, and suddenly the air turns breathable again. "Oh, and they're opening a new karoke bar down the fifth. We should all go sometimes. Have fun together."

"That sounds like a great idea." Rachel replies with a stage smile, and no one moves a muscle.

"Are you going to stay in the bathroom much longer?" Sebastian asks. "Because I have at least ten jokes about why yall apparently like to stand in here so much, but I wouldn't want to ruin Blaine's lesson in diplomacy."

There's a nervous jitters of limbs as Rachel fumbles with perfect enuntiation: "Oh, yeah. Sure. See you soon!"

Sebastian and Blaine step aside and look at them going trough the door, and Tina makes sure to be the last one in line. She turns over her shoulder and tries to sneak a last peek of Blaine in the pants, possibly from the back.

She almost freezes when she sees Blaine turns in Sebastian's arm, a hand behind Sebastian's neck to get him to lean down. He stands on the tip of his toes, flushing their bodies together, and their mouth crash against each other in a kiss that wouldn’t be allowed on national television. Sebastian’s hands are quick to lift Blaine’s shirt until his hand is flat against Blaine’s unfairly tanned and muscular back, and she’s pretty sure Blaine’s free hand isn’t so free where it disappears between their bodies.

It’s an image she won't forget.

When she lets the bathroom door close behind her, the New Direction are some feet down the hallway. She jogs to catch up, just as Rachel's march reaches her top speed.

"Fair and square my ass." Tina hears her say not using her indoor voice. "We're sending them both to a crack house."

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Crash Bandicoot 4: Better Than You’d Expect (a Review)

Right, you horrible lot. I promised you a review of Crash Bandicoot 4 and, as I appear to be the last stable person and/or thing in the chaos of modern Britain, I suppose I had better deliver. I would say something about Xmas, but what with this being International Year of the COVID Virus, there sort of wasn’t one. With that in mind: Crash 4- what, why and is it any good?

As a kid, I used to really like the Crash Bandicoot games on the old PS1: the levels were beautiful and imaginative (although, to this day, the ‘Road To Nowhere’ level and its sequel in Crash 1 can fuck right off), the characters were funny and compelling and the move-set was entertainingly bonkers. Naturally, Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time (and yes, that is the real title) pushed my Nostalgia Button even faster and harder than I’d push Boris Johnson down and endless flight of stairs, given half a chance. It helps that it’s superbly well-made by a developer that clearly cares deeply about the games and not just the selling power of their brand name.

The game is a direct sequel to the original three Crash games and sweeps the intervening efforts from lesser developers under the great rug of history. For the most part, this is probably wise considering that their quality usually hovered somewhere between ‘sewage’ and ‘being trapped at a Beyonce concert without a cyanide pill’ (yes, Internet, I still hate Beyonce. Just because I haven’t mentioned it in awhile, doesn’t mean I’ve warmed to the catawalling bint or her irritating ubiquity on otherwise-acceptable supermarket mix tapes. That would require a frontal lobotomy and the removal of my ears, but I digress). I do think it’s a bit unfair on Crash: Twinsanity, which at least had an interesting core gameplay concept and some funny dialogue, even if it wasn’t very well-realised on the mechanical level. But ho-hum: I can nit-pick later during the loose ‘what I didn’t like’ section- these early paragraphs are meant to be mainly praise.

The actual plot concerns an escape attempt by Neo Cortex and N. Tropy, who were apparently trapped at the beginning of time after the events of Crash 3. News to me: I guess you had to collect all the hidden extras to see that ending and, while the 90s were a much slower decade, I still didn’t have time for that shit, even back then. Anyway, they break back into the timeline, in the process shattering reality itself and forcing Crash to make his way across the multiverse and different worlds at different points in history in order to stop them. There’s not a lot of complexity there, but as a justification for having the levels all be radically aesthetically different and providing a jumping-in premise for fan favourite characters, it’s a plot that does its job. Despite it’s simplicity, it’s also offered up with a surprising number of twists, fun cut-scene asides and surprising little narrative flourishes. The re-introduction of Tawna (Crash’s girlfriend from the first game who was tastefully removed after the original developers fired Kevin The Furry from their team) is kind of sweet and handled pretty neatly. And I mean that in the sense of ‘aww, that’s sweet’ not ‘Ah, sweet, bro’, just to be clear. She’s obviously not the same character from the original games, but the developers have taken care to give her enough quirks and entertaining lines that she’s not just the standard ‘Badass Action Girl’ trope made flesh. The levels that where you get to play as Cortex and get into the head of a cartoon evil genius are fun, too, even if they don’t tell us anything about the character we couldn’t have figured out for ourselves.

As with the original games, the worlds and levels have a really idiosyncratic and stylish look. Just looking at the scenery is a blast. My personal favourites are a level clearly based on New Orleans in the middle of Mardi Gras, the planet Bermagula and basically all of the levels set in a Crash-ised version of Feudal Japan.

As nice as the levels are to look at, they’re mostly pleasant to play through, too, with a staggering variety of different gameplay elements coming together to create intricate challenges. That said, I should stress that the phrase ‘mostly pleasant’ comes with a massive, throbbing caveat, which brings us neatly to the designated gripes and nitpicks section of this review.

You see, while the levels are mostly well-designed, there are individual platforming challenges that just lump too much together for any normal person to keep track of and then demand that you solve them at speed and they break the delicate, wafer-thin boundary between ‘fair challenge’ and ‘taking the piss’. Actually, the incidents of this phenomena towards the start of the game take the piss. By the later levels, they’ve graduated to demanding other bodily fluids, too, such as tears and blood. I feel like the developers were a bit too in love with the original games’ reputation for punishing difficulty and got into a bad habit of opting for design choices that emulated it over design choices that were fun.

I also feel that, considering the game takes place across a time-shattered multiverse, the levels might have been a bit more varied. Don’t get me wrong, there are some gorgeous and brilliantly creative worlds on offer in Crash 4, and every level is a visual blast. However, with the single, solitary exception of Bermagula, every alternate universe you visit is ultimately a reflection of something familiar from our own world or culture. N. Sanity Beach is… well, it’s just a tropical beach with generically tribal ruins a bit further inland. The Hazardous Wastes are just an off-brand post-disaster planet Earth that owes more than a little to the Mad Max franchise and where you’ve definitely seen every individual component before (even if they’ve never been assembled in such a Crash-y way until now). Then there’s the made-entirely-of-pirate-tropes world, the Japan-but-not-really world, the Inevitable Fucking Ice World (which keeps getting included in games despite the fact that uncontrollable sliding is even less fun in precision platformers than it is in real life) and the Generically Futuristic City world, because the old Crash games had them so this one has to as well. None of these worlds are bad- like I said, I enjoyed all of them, and the others that didn’t quite merit an honourable mention besides. It’s just that I feel like greater flights of fancy could have been taken: we could have seen some truly alien geography and architecture; viewed whole of evolutionary timelines, all through the lens of Crash’s brilliantly slick, cartoony art-style. The only truly ‘out there’ world we visit is Bermagula, which takes up precisely one fucking level, then that’s your lot: it’s back to Crash-y versions of Earth locales.

I’m also not a big fan of the ‘gems’ system. Yes, it’s great that developers chose to use the gems that were such a big part of previous games to unlock funky little cosmetic bonus costumes for the playable characters. On the other hand, the outfits you unlock should be tied to the number of gems you have overall, not your ability to collect certain numbers from specific levels. That way, your wardrobe would be a measure of your general skill at the game, not of which levels’ platforming challenges you were most willing to put up with for multiple play-throughs.

I’m tempted to compare all this to the superlative one-two punch that was Rayman: Origins and Rayman: Legends- two of the best platforming games ever made. With the exception of a couple of fuck-off unreasonable boss fights, the platforming challenges in those games were perfectly, legitimately fair. Insanely tough sometimes, but fair. Their level and world design also nailed the ‘weird-as-fuck flight of fancy’ vibe as well. Even the Inevitable Fucking Ice World in those games had the decency to throw in some giant cocktail umbrellas and slices of lemon to make you feel like you were ice-skating your way through the world’s biggest Martini while a fucking dragon in a chef’s hat tried to bit a mountain in the background. They also tied cosmetic unlocks to overall performance.

None of this is to say that Crash 4 isn’t good, it’s just that it doesn’t quite measure up to the gold standard set by the Rayman: Origins and its sequel. If it helps, think of it like comparing The Talos Principle to Portal. Yes, the former is good, but it’s never going to outshine the latter’s star. I recommend Crash 4, but if the last platformer you played was the undeniable high water mark of either of the Raymans, just remember to adjust your filters going in.

Before I go, does anyone else find it funny that these games have such colourful, kiddy-friendly aesthetics and characters yet demand a level of competence and coordination that’s usually only achieved by more seasoned, grown-up gamers? I mean, there are challenges in Crash 4- admittedly optional ones- that might one day be completed only if a being comes into existence that has the reflexes of a supercomputer crossed with a surprised feline and is made entirely out of thumbs.

And on that horrifying mental image, I must say goodnight. Tune in next time for my usual end-of-year roundup.

[betelguwuse]

So I just finished VHS and I absolutely loved it. One of the shorts was a bit lacking to me, but even that one was enjoyable to watch. The only big criticism I have is that like at least half the shorts showed a lot of unnecessary tiddy (the only one that didn’t feel totally unnecessary was the one where the whole plot is dudes tryin to make porn) but I mean it’s found footage and I get that irl people do show off to each other on video calls and yknow,, porn. So I can let it slide but I’m not gonna enjoy it lol. Also this goes for most found footage I’ve seen, but sometimes it’s really hard to make out who’s who and what’s going on. But overall it was really good.

There were a few comments (I watched it on shudder lol) calling the movie misogynistic, which I don’t get? I mean unless they were talking about the tiddy issue, but even that I don’t think was meant to be framed as a good thing.

Like the movie is 5 shorts in between breaks of an ongoing story of some dudes breaking into a house. They’re trying to steal some tapes, and what’s on them is the bunch of shorts we’re shown. So the overarching story of the guys in the house has nothing to do with women, except one scene where they gang up on and try to strip a woman in a parking lot, which I’m pretty sure is clearly meant to be a bad thing? I mean throughout the movie we’re shown that these guys are assholes (filming harassment of women for money, excessively saying slurs, breaking into a house for more tapes that could get them money). Yeah the characters are misogynistic from what we can tell, but that doesn’t mean the movie or director is condoning their actions.

Ok onto the actual shorts (I don’t know what any were called but I’m pretty sure theyre all in order in my head lol). I want to pick out whether the individual shorts were misogynistic at all (because I have literally nothing else to do) so for that I might have to spoil. Any spoilers will be crossed out so they’re at least a bit harder to read. And like, I’m no expert in feminism (I don’t consider myself one, but I’m not exactly anti either) but being a person with a brain and opinions I’m going to talk about it.

1: This was the only one I had any previous knowledge of going in, and I was absolutely terrified of watching this whole movie because of the jumpscare and bits of creepiness I’d seen lol. So it’s about this group of guys who are trying to make some porn, so they pick up some girls, take them clubbing, and then go to a hotel to smash. Without spoilers, one of the girls acts really really friccin creepy and I think this one scared me the most overall, even knowing the basics of what would happen. Honestly I’m surprised the internet hasn’t turned her into a meme or waifu like some people did with Momo lol. I for one really want to draw her now (but also I’m terrified of looking up reference photos 👊😔). I think I read that they made a full movie-length version of this story but I could be wrong.

Spoilers: So what happens is this creepy girl is some kind of monster who lures men in to have sex with her, so she can eat them and rip their dicks off and all that fun shit. So like a siren, but on land? Honestly I don’t even know if it’s accurate to say she lures them in, because she really didn’t do anything, the guys kinda just found her and decided to use her? Also I think she had wings?? But again, handheld camera, hard to see everything. I think that what makes this one is that while she is creepy, she doesn’t really seem dangerous, or even like she wants to be there at all. Like when the guys give her and another girl drugs, the other girl seems ok with it, but it seemed to bother the creepy girl a bit. She had this innocent vibe to her that just makes her even more creepy. And then it’s even more shocking when she starts eating these bois. So yeah I don’t think this one was misogynistic at all. The male characters just wanted to exploit her and profit from her body, and she didn’t say no but she didn’t say yes either, which is pretty interesting to see. It’s not like she tricked the guys because she never actually consented to sex. All I remember her saying was “I like you” a few times. 10/10 we love a lady who eats her attempted rapists.

2: This is the one I wasn’t entirely satisfied with, but it was very good and enjoyable nonetheless. It’s about this couple on a road trip in,, I wanna say Arizona? I’m Canadian, I’ve never heard of a state in my life. So anyway they’re at a hotel in the middle of the desert, there are a few parts that were pretty creepy but didn’t actually mean anything in the story, like there was this fortune telling machine that I thought would be something supernatural, and a scene where they’re climbing around a canyon which was just generally anxiety inducing lol. But what the story is actually about is that someone is stalking them. This one I can discuss the misogyny levels without spoilers. There’s one bit where the guy is trying to get the girl to take off her shirt, and she says only if you turn the camera off. Which he doesn’t, and after a little argument he finally accepts the no. So like, dick move, but only a tiny part of the story.

Spoilers: there are some creepy scenes of the stalker recording them both while they sleep, and stealing their money and stuff, and then later stabs the guy in the neck. But then it’s revealed that the stalker is actually two people and they film themselves making out in the bathroom mirror. I couldn’t tell if it was a guy/girl or two girls, and since it was that hard to see their faces it just occurred to me that one of them might’ve actually been the gf? Like we didn’t see what happens to her after, and it’d definitely be a more satisfying ending for her to have betrayed her bf and not just some rando stalkers. Hm. Still unclear but good.

3: This one was really fun, it’s these 4 college aged friends who take a trip to the woods, it’s pretty tropey like cabin in the woods, there’s the final girl, the slut, the nerd, and the popular jockish dude. Which I’m pretty sure was on purpose since it’s kind of a slasher. Otherwise I’d be a bit more critical of the ‘slut’ character who Literally Never Shuts Up About Sex in this short lol. But I think that was meant to be a comedic choice. Idk. Other than that, no issue. So basically final girl has kinda organized this whole trip but she starts acting weird and saying creepy stuff about things that had happened in the forest. This one really felt like a creepypasta, but like the best kind. I really love what they did with the bad guy. I really don’t want to spoil this one, so don’t read the spoilers unless you’re sure you’ll never watch it. It’s great.

Spoilers: So the twist is that final girl had been here before with her friends and was the only survivor of a massacre by some monster in the woods. So now by taking these new people on the trip she’s trying to lure the monster out using them as bait, because nobody believed her after the last trip when she told people it wasn’t human. So we get a bunch of cool deaths, and that sweet sweet betrayal. I was kinda surprised by how much they lingered on some of the gore but that’s not really an issue for me. It did suck to see the main girl die, but I mean it’s found footage not ‘I killed a monster and totally got away, here watch’ footage.

4: This one was actually really cool in terms of like ~feminism~ or whatever. I mean it doesn’t even have to be read as some kind of feminist theme, but that was just the vibe I got. I really don’t think I can go into detail on those themes without spoilers, but the basic premise is that this girl is video chatting her bf (who’s away for school or something) and she’s worried that there are ghosts in her apartment. There’s a neat backstory about something similar happening to her when the guy was away during her childhood, like weird bruises and other injuries she doesn’t remember, so it definitely keeps you interested. Also another one I reeeally don’t want to spoil because the twist is so cool.

Spoilers: So the truth is the guy actually was nearby the whole time (possibly in her place because he rushes in the room pretty quickly when she’s attacked), and it turns out that it’s not ghosts, but aliens, and the bf is using the gf to put trackers and alien babies in her, and tricking her into thinking she just got in some weird accident and forgot, which leads her to get misdiagnosed with something like schizophrenia. I mean it’s a perfect metaphor for gaslighting (he’s not hurting me, I’m just crazy), and while that’s not an exclusively feminist theme by any means (both genders are capable of abuse, and both genders are capable of being victims!) it being a theme here shows that this short is absolutely not misogynistic at all. Honestly I’m surprised I haven’t seen more people talk about this one. It’s really really great in terms of the plot, twists, and underlying themes my dumb brain came up with.

5: This one is really really cool, at first I was a little bored with it, but then you’re kinda like hm what’s going on, and then you’re like oh okay that’s going on. Coolcoolcool. So basically these 4 dudes are going to a Halloween party and they’re kinda lost, and they end up at this huge house, so they go in and it’s empty but really big and creepy so they’re like ‘maybe we’re early, or it’s more of a haunted house than a party’ stuff like that, so a bit of it is just the guys exploring the house and vaguely creepy stuff happening in the background. I’m just gonna leave it at that because like, it’s not exactly a twist but it is really unexpected.

Spoilers: So they hear people talking upstairs in the attic and they’re like ‘o nice we found the party’ but no it’s a literal cult chanting and beating up this girl they have tied up. The cult leader is like ‘wtf get outta here’ and the guys kinda get chased away, but one dumbass just had to be like ‘no man we gotta save her’ (king tbh. ur sacrifice will be remembered) so they all go back up there, beat up the cult guys, and get the girl out of there. But that’s when the really creepy stuff happens in the house, like dishes throw themselves at the guys and arms reach out of the walls (I’d actually seen this bit before in a try not to be scared compilation, but I didn’t know what it was from lol) but they do get out and into their car. But then the girl just disappears and the car stops working, and then they see her out the window and she looks kinda demony, and oop their car is stopped on a train track aaa. This one I’m kinda torn on, like about the misogyny thing, because yeah having the only female in the cast being a demon and justifying the cult’s treatment of her is iffy, but at the same time...dude she’s literally a demon, I’d be chaining her up too lol. So yeah I’m definitely leaning toward the not misogynistic side.

Overall I don’t see this movie as that misogynistic at all, and it’s otherwise just a really really good time. Definitely recommend.

[darlingyoullbeokay-soon]

So, imagine this. You’ve been talking to a guy for a couple of months, he seems sweet, he’s really cute and he actually seems like a good guy. You wonder how did you find someone so perfect. You’ve spent every day texting, exchanging photos on Snapchat and every minute is taken up by them. You think it’s going to be great.

You decide to go on a date. You tell your friends, and they joke he’s a catfish. But, you know he can’t be, you’ve seen pictures of him.

You arrive at the place of the date, ready to meet the guy of your dreams. However, you can’t see him there.  Someone in the background waves at you, they shout your name- you realise this is the person you were talking to all along. In fact, his name is Greg, he’s 20 years older than he said, and nothing about him resembles the 20 year old football player who looked like a model. In fact, the only thing about him that is actually truthful is the fact he’s a man- but not the man you were expecting.

I’m not about to lay out the typical image we have of a catfish being a 30 year old man who sits in his mothers basement, eating his life away and tricking 17 year old girls on the internet. That’s not exactly what every catfish is like. Maybe it turns out to be a girl, someone who wants revenge on you, or that guy who always had a crush on you but you never took him on because you didn’t like him back- and that’s fine.

Catfishing is becoming more popular now, due to the fact more people know what it is, and the ways that catfish can hide behind various social media. However, people are still being catfished and have no idea how to prevent this from even happening in the first place.

I was catfished about 8 years ago now, and it was the worst thing that happened to me. It made me feel shitty about myself, it made me feel so stupid, and I didn’t want to talk about it. This was before Catfish the TV show was popular, and no one really talked about this being a thing. It was stupid, and thankfully I never met this person or even tried to meet them, they were just an ‘internet friend’. My catfish story is one that is really quite ridiculous- cue the catfish pretending they were at least 5 diff people (good effort really), acting like one had been in a car crash, one was going to jump off a building and shot someone in the head leaving them in a coma… and I believed it all!

We look at these people on catfish and think that they’re stupid for falling for this, but I did, and many people still do to this day. So, today, I am going to lay down how to spot, or how to even, catch a catfish, because they are the secret people that live among us. And this is going to be a new series on my blog. So, for now, here are some basic ways that you can find out if you’re being catfished.

Do they talk on the phone…

This is a super easy way to tell if you’re being catfished! Most people own a phone that they can talk on, or have access to one. If they always avoid talking on the phone, or facetiming, then start to have your suspicions. Maybe, they are naturally anxious about talking on the phone or skyping, but if they give lame excuses or super dramatic ones, then they are most likely hiding something.

The examples of ‘my car broke down’ ‘my cat died’ ‘i don’t even have a phone number’ are not acceptable. If they are talking to you, they have access to the internet or a phone, think about this!

Do they send photos that look different to each other… 

Let’s use an example I encountered a couple of weeks ago. I received a photo that didn’t look like the photo of them I’d seen. I called them a catfish, and was automatically removed.

If they send you one photo and then one that looks a bit different, question them on it. Sometimes, there is a reasonable excuse, but it’s a good way to catch a catfish out.

Are their photos too good to be true?

We know where I’m going here. Are their photos model like? Are they constantly posing in what seems to be a brilliantly edited version of themselves?

Maybe, once in a blue moon, you’re talking to one of these models. Though, most of the time, you’re not.

There is a really simple way to check this. Google offers a brilliant reverse image search.

Let’s take this step by step.

Here I decided to search ‘model man photo’. A great one to also try is ‘teen boy emo’ if they’re going for that vibe. Those types of photos get used A LOT.

I googled ‘model man photo’ and I picked the one of the guy sitting on a crate.

2. I then saved the photo and decided to reverse search it. You can find this easily by searching ‘google reverse image search’. All you do then is pop in the image and give it a quick search.

Ta da! Upload the image you think this person may be using of someone else.

3. Wait for the results. It was kind of obvious I was going to get a result back for it, but then you can find all the search results that also contain this same picture. There are 25 billion results for this one picture!!

4. Maybe this technique might not work and you might not find anything, but don’t be disheartened. There are other ways to catch a catfish!

Are the Snapchats they send actual Snapchats or photos from camera roll?

It gets a bit weird if someone starts to send you selfies on snapchat from their camera roll, or videos from their camera roll. Sure, it could be a video of the person you think you’re talking to, but with screen recording now, this could just be a screen record of the person you think you’re talking to. Always look out for the bit in the corner that says the picture or video is from camera roll or for pictures that appear in the chat rather than as an actual snapchat.

Ask them to send a real time snapchat, and see what they do.

Have they ever disappeared for a while and then come back with some weird excuse?

I.E. Did they try to ghost you, and thought they could but then realised they’re addicted to the catfishing game and just couldn’t stop…

A catfish may try to stop what they are doing, and attempt to ghost you. Believe me, this happened to me, but then more characters were added to their list of ‘friends’. It was just them, all along, I still think how much effort it must have taken.

Everyone can drop you a quick text of ‘hey, I was busy and sorry about that’, but the dramatic stories are the ones to look out for. Elaborate tales of car crashes, relatives dying, houses burning down, phones blowing up, aliens invading the earth are to be QUESTIONED.

Maybe, sometimes they’re true, but Sam did not almost die from a car crash, almost die from cancer, almost die from being bitten by a snake and then his phone exploded. Pls, let’s think about THIS.

Do they not want to meet with you?

Have they stood you up a few times? Have they told you that you’ll meet but they always avoid this?

Chances are, if someone doesn’t want to meet with you, sometimes after like 10 years of talking, then they’re probably a catfish!! They dread having to meet you in person and you seeing that they have been lying to you the whole time.

Call them out on it- tell them you’ll even come to them if that’s the problem.

Don’t stick around for someone who constantly has excuses not to see you. You don’t want that negativity in your life.

So, here is the start of how to catch a catfish, but this will be continued next time.

Tune in next time for more ways to catch a catfish, a catfish story and how do you deal with a catfish…

Love,

To Catch a Catfish. Part 1. So, imagine this. You've been talking to a guy for a couple of months, he seems sweet, he's really cute and he actually seems like a good guy.

[paige-writes]

Everybody Cut Footloose!

Just a little side drabble I thought of while reading @wittyy-name's lovely klance fic "Shut Up And Dance With Me" (there's also art by @wolfpainters which is AMAZING pls go check them out) between Pidge and Anita (my voltron OC). I will use they/them pronouns for Pidge instead of she/her this time, as they're used in SUADWM and other fics of Wittyy's. All credits go to the amazing writer and artist, and go read SUADWM and the other fics bc they're super great!

Edit: this got really long so technically it's not a drabble anymore. Plus it was hard describing dance moves so y'all might have to listen to the song while reading that part rip me

They saw her every Tuesday without fail. Every Tuesday Pidge would see the same girl at the park during the weekly dance meets with Hunk and Lance, always watching in amusement as they danced. By now they could spot her in the circle of people instantly; standing around 5'4" with medium length raven hair, dual-colored eyes---the left dark blue and the right green---and light tan skin, her left arm tattooed with a sleeve of pink cherry blossoms. They couldn't miss her, and they couldn't deny that she was cute, too. Whenever Pidge caught sight of the girl, she was cheering and clapping along with the rest of the crowd as they, Hunk, and Lance switched in and out of the dance circle, however she always seemed to cheer the loudest for Pidge, boosting their confidence greatly.

However, what caught Pidge's eye a few times was that the girl looked anxious to dance in the circle like other people did at times. She takes a small step forward, only to pull back and stay where she is, resorting to dancing shyly with the crowd. What she needed was a little push of encouragement, and Pidge decided that they would be the one to give it---and maybe get to know her better.

Tuesday rolled around again, and Pidge, Hunk, and Lance set up the speaker and donations bucket per usual. As Lance and Hunk talked amongst each other, Pidge looked around to see if that girl was here yet. And sure enough, they found her standing a couple yards away under one of the park's trees, fiddling with her phone. She wore an orange short-sleeved shirt with the shoulders cut out that hung loosely around her torso, dark grey leggings, and teal high-top Converse.

Pidge excused themselves as they made their way toward her, an excited grin forming all the while. Don't be awkward. Don't be awkward. Don't be awkward, echoed their thoughts. They saw the girl look up from her phone and at them, smile widely, and wave. Pidge happily waved back. "H-Hey!" they stuttered with a voice crack, mentally kicking themselves afterwards. Great first impression, Pidge. They stopped in front of the girl, ears burning, and oh god she was cuter up close. Upon observation, Pidge noticed that the breast pocket of the girl's shirt had a little green alien with its middle fingers up peeking out from the top. Cute.

"Hey," they said again.

"Hey," the girl repeated brightly. Her voice was smooth and nice to listen to. "I didn't think I'd finally get to personally meet one of the park's legendary dancers." Pidge laughed at the girl's spunky tone and rubbed the back of their neck sheepishly. "Well, here I am, haha. I'm Pidge, by the way." Pidge pointed to Hunk and Lance. "The lanky one's Lance and the big guy's Hunk. We all go to the same dance studio."

"Anita. You guys go to the Altea dance studio, right?"

"Yeah. We're all practicing for regionals auditions there, actually. Hunk and I are doing a duo dance."

A thick blanket of awkward silence passed over the two then, both not knowing what to say next. Thankfully, Anita saved the day. "I, uh, I like your shirt," she said, gesturing to Pidge's "Non-Binary Day" t-shirt. "Huh? Oh, thanks! Lance got it for me. I got him one that says "Gettin' Bi" in return. I like yours, too. That alien represents 90% of my day." Anita giggled before thanking them. The heat from Pidge's ears spread to their cheeks. They were starting to believe that whole 'love at first sight' shtick.

"S-So I've noticed," they then said, "that whenever you're here, you always look like you wanna step in and dance at some point. But then you always go back." Anita looked surprised at first; they found out so quickly. Now it was her turn to rub her neck. "Cat's out of the bag, huh?" she replied with a nervous chuckle. "If I'm being honest, I don't think I'm that good, not as good as you three, at least. Dancing isn't really my forte...."

"Oh no, don't go starting that with me," Pidge said, mocking Shiro's 'stern dad voice'. "I'm sure you can dance at least a little. Why don't you show us? Just me, Lance, and Hunk." Pidge saw Anita's face light up. "For real?" she asked. "O-Okay!"

Anita followed Pidge to where Lance and Hunk were. After she was introduced, Anita went to plug in her phone to the speaker and picked a song from her playlist. She then stood a good length away from the three dancers and waited. Once the music played, Anita tapped her foot in time with the beginning beats. Pidge immediately realized that Anita's pick was Kenny Loggins' Footloose.

As more instruments came in, Anita's foot tapping switched to swift hip movements and light bouncing. It continued like this until the lyrics were heard, to which then Anita added arm movements, steps, and small kicks to the jerks of her hips. Once the beat dropped and the lyric "Now I gotta cut loose, Footloose" sounded, all of Anita's moves increased tenfold. She jumped, kicked, nodded her head, shook her hips, and swung her arms in time with the music perfectly and smoothly.

Throughout the song, Pidge saw that Anita's dancing had a certain vibe to it. It wasn't as strictly choreographed like Lance, or as well calculated like them or Hunk. It was carefree and out there while still hitting every beat just right. Anita was letting loose with a smile on her face, feeling as if she was dancing on air rather than the hard ground.

Oh man, Pidge was falling for her more, and they were falling fast.

As the song came to end, Anita cried the last lyric, "Everybody cut Footloose!", hit the last five beats, and finished with her arms spread next to her in a star pose. It was then silent, but it was followed by Pidge, Hunk, and Lance clapping for her. Onlookers who gathered were applauding as well. Anita saw Pidge clapping the loudest, however, like she did when they danced, which made her smile.

The clapping ceased and Anita made room for Hunk to dance next. She went over to Pidge, who had an obviously proud grin on their face, and sat next to them. "And you said dancing wasn't your forte," was the first thing they said. Anita rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You proved me wrong, Pidge. How did I do, though?"

"I think you did great. It was....nice watching you dance so freely."

Anita felt her cheeks heat up at that. "Th-Thank you." She paused for a moment watching Lance join Hunk in the dance circle. "H-Hey, Pidge, do you....wanna go out with me sometime?" Pidge felt their stomach do backflips just then. Did they hear correctly? Was this actually happening?

"Y-You mean, 'out' out? Like, just the two of us? Like a date?"

"Yeah, like a date. I've been meaning to ask ever since I saw you here, but that would've been ridiculous of me. Plus I didn't really want to bother you with it because you'd probably think I'm weird...."

Okay, so this was happening. Pidge was not, in fact, dreaming. This was real. Very, very real.

Pidge was at a loss for words. Anita could clearly see that their face was bright red. "Pidge, you okay?" she asked. Pidge nodded so quickly that they thought their glasses were going to fly off their face. "Y-Y-Yeah, I'm great! A-A date sounds nice! And it's not weird, either! I've....actually wanted to say the same thing to you, but I never had the guts to talk to you. But now that I have, it can be settled!"

Anita smiled brightly at Pidge's answer, immediately pulling them into a hug, to which they almost fainted from the emotional overload.

Later, after everyone went home for the day and Hunk and Lance were gathering their things, Anita and Pidge exchanged numbers. "So...." Anita started, "I'll text you the time and place on Saturday?"

"Sounds good," Pidge replied, still shaken from the moments that had unfolded before. In a sudden act of boldness, they stood on their toes and pecked Anita's cheek. "I'll see you then," they said happily, then running off to Hunk and Lance, leaving Anita frozen in place to process what had just happened.

Anita reached up to touch the spot where Pidge had kissed her. "Holy fuck...." she said to herself. She then turned and walked out of the park, smiling, but screaming internally.

[[Later in the group chat]]

coo coo motherfuckers: guYS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED TODAY

*Thanks for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated! And go read Wittyy's fics and look at Sora's art! :)*

[studio-elan]

How NOT to Online Date: What Every Online Dater MUST Avoid Doing

Online dating is a bit of a minefield. There are tons of articles and guides telling you what to do to make it easier, but this is how not to online date. We all need to know how not to online date. Online dating is not as simple as it sounds. There is so much that goes into it. Sometimes it is good and other times it is bad. But, when it is bad, it is really bad. As someone that uses online dating regularly, I have seen it all. I know what works and what fails miserably. There is a bit of a grey area and of course, everyone’s taste differs, but there are some things that are just a straight up no-no. Of course, these things also apply with off-line dating, but online dating makes it all so much worse. [Read: 10 of the most common *and annoying* online dating misconceptions] How not to online date from the start Things can go wrong before the actual dating begins, actually before talking ever begins. You could be making mistakes before you even signup for that website or download that app. Your thought process going into online dating is just as important as the rest of it. This is the attitude you are bringing towards dating. This is the vibe you’re kicking things off with. And if you are too hopeful or too negative things will not go your way. #1 Keep an open mind. I made this mistake myself, so learn from my experience. You do not want to go into online dating thinking in specifics. You cannot have a checklist. You cannot say I will only date this and not that. You cannot say I need this to move forward. Of course, we all have our dealbreakers and our standards, but most often when we meet someone great, it is far from what we thought. So, try to be as accepting as possible. You never know what might happen. [Read: 10 awful dating habits that could be keeping you single] #2 Shut down expectations. Thinking every single person on this app is desperate will not do you any good. Thinking you’ll go on one date and see the person of your dreams will also do you no good. Expecting the best or the worst is just an easy way to fail at online dating. Want to know how not to online date? Stop expecting anything. If you have expectations one way or another, they will not be met. [Read: Unrealistic expectations that can derail your love life] #3 Do not have an agenda. I cannot tell you how many guys I have chatted with or even meet through online dating that are doing it all wrong. Some have this agenda to please every girl no matter what. They will say exactly what you want to hear, not caring if it is a lie. And it is obvious. We see past it. So, be yourself. Do not try to get someone with lies. The same goes for the opposite. There is a surprisingly large amount of guys on dating sites that are just waiting to attack feminists and mansplain life to you. If this is your plan it will fail, quickly. #4 Be respectful. Its quite sad that I have to remind anyone of this, but just because online dating is through a screen it does not mean respect goes out the window. If you are hoping to actually get something out of online dating, do not be disrespectful. Do not mock someone’s values. Do not be rude. Appreciate everyone you speak to whether you like them or not. #5 Stop judging. It is hard not to judge when it comes to online dating. We judge others and we judge ourselves. The whole idea of online dating is looks first and everything else later. These sites are literally setting us up to judge others. And although that is how the game is played, try to maintain your personal preferences without judging. I mean you can be hopeful about someone with tons of travel photos because you also love to travel. You can decline someone that has photos with dogs because you are highly allergic. But, whether you like someone or feel you would connect or not, try not to judge those who you pass on. Just pass and move on. There is no need to look down on people just because they aren’t for you. Also, stop judging yourself. Online dating is nothing to be ashamed of. It is how about a third of couples meet nowadays. You are not settling or being desperate. You are using an opportunity that a lot of people use and you should feel okay about that. [Read: 30 really helpful tips to help you win at online dating] How NOT to online date Now that you are hopefully in a good headspace, you can get into the nitty-gritty: your profile, your photos, your messages. There are endless options you can take here, but there are quite a few ways when it comes to knowing how not to online date. So pay attention. #1 Do not lie. This should not even need to be said, but nevertheless, it does. Do not lie about your preferences, your age, your height, or anything. It will not turn out well, and to be honest, most people can see through these lies pretty early on. If you don’t list your height or lie about it, if you meet someone, they will figure out how tall you are. If you claim to be an entrepreneur but that means you walk dogs for a living, people will know. And there is nothing wrong with that, just be straightforward about it. Whether your intention is a relationship or something casual, the truth will come out. It is just always better coming from you. Plus, you are more likely to meet someone that likes you for you if you are you from day one. [Read: How to write an online dating profile that’ll set you apart] #2 Do not alienate people. Writing something in your bio like “I like my girls natural” or “if you live at home swipe left” is not only disrespectful and snobby but just plain cruel. You can swipe passed people you don’t like all on your own. But putting something so blatantly off-putting and superficial in your profile will also alienate someone you would be interested in. #3 Do not hide your face. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen people only post photos wearing sunglasses or photos that are taken 50+ feet away. I know you may want someone that isn’t concerned with looks, but that is how we get a first impression when it comes to online dating. Whether you are the most attractive or not, people need to be able to see your eyes and your face. It isn’t always about looks, but just connecting with someone’s eyes. So, whether you are confident or not, you need to put yourself out there. If you want to meet someone, they will need to see your face eventually. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site] #4 Do not post one photo. This is similar to not hiding your face. Sharing only one photo does not give anyone an impression of you. It could be a flattering angle or look nothing like you. Be real. You will get fewer matches and fewer messages if you try to avoid being you. [Read: How to fall in love with yourself and project happiness] #5 Do not test people. This is something I have seen a lot and it sucks. If you want someone to answer a question, just straight up ask it. Beating around the bush in sketchy ways is not an attractive quality. I have had guys try to test my education by asking ridiculous questions. Guys have asked if I’m sexually experienced by talking about sex scenes in movies. It is really very weird and is a huge turnoff. If you want to know something, ask. #6 Do not be gross. There are dating sites created for all things gross, but using a site where people actually want to make emotional connections to get your rocks off is not only crude and inappropriate but will also not give you what you’re looking for. If you want dirty photos and sex talk, avoid dating sites meant for people who want something more than that. And if you try it and get turned down, move on. #7 Do not dwell. Online dating is vast. There are millions of people trying to find a connection. Try not to get too attached right off the bat. Maybe you matched with someone that seems great. They are attractive and you share a love for The Office and have some fun banter. But if they disappear after one good talk, let it go. Try not to get attached so fast. If someone disappears before you exchange numbers, let it be. I know it is cheesy but there are plenty of fish in the sea, do not let one drown you. [Read: The 8 most common Tinder horror stories] #8 Do not lash out. This is so crazy to me, yet it happens all the time. If someone politely lets you down, just appreciate their honesty and move on. There is no use name calling or accusing them of leading you on. If you do lash out, you are one of the reasons people prefer to ghost. I turned down a guy recently because he was too intent on meeting without any prior knowledge. A girl has got to be on the lookout. I told him I wasn’t interested in meeting that fast and if he couldn’t let it go, he should move on. He flipped out. He wrote paragraphs about how I was perfect for him and I should give him a chance and how he isn’t dangerous. It was so creepy and insane. This guy didn’t know me at all and was clearly carrying around a lot of baggage. This is not going to convince anyone. If someone isn’t interested or says something you don’t like, calm down. [Read: 17 things you need to talk about when you’re online dating] Learning how not to online date is just as important, if not more, than learning how to online date. Avoid these no-nos and stay true to yourself you could be on the path to successfully online dating. The post How NOT to Online Date: What Every Online Dater MUST Avoid Doing is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

How NOT to Online Date: What Every Online Dater MUST Avoid Doing

Online dating is a bit of a minefield. There are tons of articles and guides telling you what to do to make it easier, but this is how not to online date.

We all need to know how not to online date. Online dating is not as simple as it sounds. There is so much that goes into it. Sometimes it is good and other times it is bad. But, when it is bad, it is really bad.

As someone that uses online dating regularly, I have seen it all. I know what works and what fails miserably. There is a bit of a grey area and of course, everyone’s taste differs, but there are some things that are just a straight up no-no.

Of course, these things also apply with off-line dating, but online dating makes it all so much worse. [Read: 10 of the most common *and annoying* online dating misconceptions]

How not to online date from the start

Things can go wrong before the actual dating begins, actually before talking ever begins. You could be making mistakes before you even signup for that website or download that app.

Your thought process going into online dating is just as important as the rest of it. This is the attitude you are bringing towards dating. This is the vibe you’re kicking things off with. And if you are too hopeful or too negative things will not go your way.

#1 Keep an open mind. I made this mistake myself, so learn from my experience. You do not want to go into online dating thinking in specifics. You cannot have a checklist. You cannot say I will only date this and not that. You cannot say I need this to move forward.

Of course, we all have our dealbreakers and our standards, but most often when we meet someone great, it is far from what we thought. So, try to be as accepting as possible. You never know what might happen. [Read: 10 awful dating habits that could be keeping you single]

#2 Shut down expectations. Thinking every single person on this app is desperate will not do you any good. Thinking you’ll go on one date and see the person of your dreams will also do you no good. Expecting the best or the worst is just an easy way to fail at online dating.

Want to know how not to online date? Stop expecting anything. If you have expectations one way or another, they will not be met. [Read: Unrealistic expectations that can derail your love life]

#3 Do not have an agenda. I cannot tell you how many guys I have chatted with or even meet through online dating that are doing it all wrong. Some have this agenda to please every girl no matter what. They will say exactly what you want to hear, not caring if it is a lie. And it is obvious. We see past it.

So, be yourself. Do not try to get someone with lies. The same goes for the opposite. There is a surprisingly large amount of guys on dating sites that are just waiting to attack feminists and mansplain life to you. If this is your plan it will fail, quickly.

#4 Be respectful. Its quite sad that I have to remind anyone of this, but just because online dating is through a screen it does not mean respect goes out the window. If you are hoping to actually get something out of online dating, do not be disrespectful.

Do not mock someone’s values. Do not be rude. Appreciate everyone you speak to whether you like them or not.

#5 Stop judging. It is hard not to judge when it comes to online dating. We judge others and we judge ourselves. The whole idea of online dating is looks first and everything else later. These sites are literally setting us up to judge others.

And although that is how the game is played, try to maintain your personal preferences without judging. I mean you can be hopeful about someone with tons of travel photos because you also love to travel. You can decline someone that has photos with dogs because you are highly allergic.

But, whether you like someone or feel you would connect or not, try not to judge those who you pass on. Just pass and move on. There is no need to look down on people just because they aren’t for you.

Also, stop judging yourself. Online dating is nothing to be ashamed of. It is how about a third of couples meet nowadays. You are not settling or being desperate. You are using an opportunity that a lot of people use and you should feel okay about that. [Read: 30 really helpful tips to help you win at online dating]

How NOT to online date

Now that you are hopefully in a good headspace, you can get into the nitty-gritty: your profile, your photos, your messages.

There are endless options you can take here, but there are quite a few ways when it comes to knowing how not to online date. So pay attention.

#1 Do not lie. This should not even need to be said, but nevertheless, it does. Do not lie about your preferences, your age, your height, or anything. It will not turn out well, and to be honest, most people can see through these lies pretty early on.

If you don’t list your height or lie about it, if you meet someone, they will figure out how tall you are. If you claim to be an entrepreneur but that means you walk dogs for a living, people will know. And there is nothing wrong with that, just be straightforward about it.

Whether your intention is a relationship or something casual, the truth will come out. It is just always better coming from you. Plus, you are more likely to meet someone that likes you for you if you are you from day one. [Read: How to write an online dating profile that’ll set you apart]

#2 Do not alienate people. Writing something in your bio like “I like my girls natural” or “if you live at home swipe left” is not only disrespectful and snobby but just plain cruel. You can swipe passed people you don’t like all on your own.

But putting something so blatantly off-putting and superficial in your profile will also alienate someone you would be interested in.

#3 Do not hide your face. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen people only post photos wearing sunglasses or photos that are taken 50+ feet away. I know you may want someone that isn’t concerned with looks, but that is how we get a first impression when it comes to online dating.

Whether you are the most attractive or not, people need to be able to see your eyes and your face. It isn’t always about looks, but just connecting with someone’s eyes. So, whether you are confident or not, you need to put yourself out there. If you want to meet someone, they will need to see your face eventually. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site]

#4 Do not post one photo. This is similar to not hiding your face. Sharing only one photo does not give anyone an impression of you. It could be a flattering angle or look nothing like you.

Be real. You will get fewer matches and fewer messages if you try to avoid being you. [Read: How to fall in love with yourself and project happiness]

#5 Do not test people. This is something I have seen a lot and it sucks. If you want someone to answer a question, just straight up ask it. Beating around the bush in sketchy ways is not an attractive quality.

I have had guys try to test my education by asking ridiculous questions. Guys have asked if I’m sexually experienced by talking about sex scenes in movies. It is really very weird and is a huge turnoff. If you want to know something, ask.

#6 Do not be gross. There are dating sites created for all things gross, but using a site where people actually want to make emotional connections to get your rocks off is not only crude and inappropriate but will also not give you what you’re looking for.

If you want dirty photos and sex talk, avoid dating sites meant for people who want something more than that. And if you try it and get turned down, move on.

#7 Do not dwell. Online dating is vast. There are millions of people trying to find a connection. Try not to get too attached right off the bat. Maybe you matched with someone that seems great. They are attractive and you share a love for The Office and have some fun banter. But if they disappear after one good talk, let it go.

Try not to get attached so fast. If someone disappears before you exchange numbers, let it be. I know it is cheesy but there are plenty of fish in the sea, do not let one drown you. [Read: The 8 most common Tinder horror stories]

#8 Do not lash out. This is so crazy to me, yet it happens all the time. If someone politely lets you down, just appreciate their honesty and move on. There is no use name calling or accusing them of leading you on. If you do lash out, you are one of the reasons people prefer to ghost.

I turned down a guy recently because he was too intent on meeting without any prior knowledge. A girl has got to be on the lookout. I told him I wasn’t interested in meeting that fast and if he couldn’t let it go, he should move on.

He flipped out. He wrote paragraphs about how I was perfect for him and I should give him a chance and how he isn’t dangerous. It was so creepy and insane. This guy didn’t know me at all and was clearly carrying around a lot of baggage. This is not going to convince anyone. If someone isn’t interested or says something you don’t like, calm down.

[Read: 17 things you need to talk about when you’re online dating]

Learning how not to online date is just as important, if not more, than learning how to online date. Avoid these no-nos and stay true to yourself you could be on the path to successfully online dating.

The post How NOT to Online Date: What Every Online Dater MUST Avoid Doing is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[ivis-00]

I’m bored so here

Credits got to @booknrd and @redqueenfandom

Tag is here: https://booknrd.tumblr.com/post/169439591221/this-is-the-most-unique-one-ive-seen-please-yes

1)I don’t have iTunes so I just played my daily mix on Spotify on shuffle:

Body Gold by Oh Wonder

I Still Wait For You by XYLØ

Down in Flames by Ella Vos

We Won’t by Jaymes Young

Superstar by Broods

Phase Me Out by VÉRITÉ

2)My nephew. It’s been a year or so since he was born and I still have yet to see him in person.

3)Book: Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems, Short Story: ‘The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaaall’, Quote: “April 8th.”

4)That’s a bit of a tough question. I guess it’s usually either my future (I’m a high school senior) and whether or not I’ll ever amount to anything, or about the state of the world (all the things going wrong, how we could have prevented or fixed them, etc.).

5)Lol no I’m not that special

6)Is being scared of just dragonflies a phobia? Like I know it’s pretty silly especially since dragonflies aren’t aggressive or anything but idk it’s a childhood trauma thing that I never got over. I’m less scared of them as the tears go by but still it gives me the creeps.

7)Don’t have one, but I’m very interested in learning about other’s religions.

8)Chilling. Just enjoying the fresh air. Maybe reading. But since it’s always hot here, I rarely go outside of my own accord. I hate the heat.

9)I’m just going to assume this means Western band: Panic! at the Disco

10)That I was gonna go back to sleep but I actually stayed up until 4am.

11)Yes and no. It’s a bit weird. Sometimes karma works magic, and other times it’s nonexistent. I don’t know whether to really believe it’s a thing or not.

12)It’s literally just my middle name and ‘the-fangirl’ written after it. It’s pretty self-explanatory. 👍

13)Greatest weakness is self-doubt. It’s stops me from doing a lot of the things I want to do. Strength is my stubbornness. I know that’s really contradictory, but once my mind is set on something, it’s very hard to convince otherwise.

14)I’m supposed to choose just 1? Cause that’s basically impossible. I’m just gonna day Jungkook from BTS cause he’s my ultimate bias (I know, how basic of me). Gotta represent my man y’all. But if I were to choose a female celebrity crush, for sure I’d say Halsey. Like damn.

15)For me, I always feel like taking out my anger physically through hitting and breaking objects (so that I don’t harm a anybody), or through screaming at the top of my lungs. It helps dispel all that energy so I’m too tired to even think about what I was mad about. But my Hispanic household is very strict on these types of things and I’ve pretty much had to force myself to adopt a passive-aggressive method of dealing with my anger. Just thinking of this makes me mad cause there’s so many things I’ve had to put up with in my family because I can’t express my anger to a figure of authority (since it’s seen as disrespect).

16)I used to have a seashell collection, but now I just collect books and like little memorabilia from different places and events that I feel have left some sort of mark on me.

17)No. I haven’t exactly accomplished any of my long-term goals. I’m pretty stuck since I don’t have complete control of my life with my mother always breathing down my neck.

18)I hate loud talking in quiet spaces, or even just senseless yelling. Many of my family members tend to yell as they’re “talking” on the phone whether they people involved in the conversation are hard of hearing or not. But I’m the bright side, I love the sound of rain and luckily for me, it tends to rain pretty often here (unfortunately that also means it gets really humid).

19)What if all my efforts amount to nothing?

20)I’ve never really seen any conclusive evidence that ghosts exist, so for right now it’s a bit of a middle point for me. Since we don’t exactly knows what happens after death either, there’s still the chance that ghosts can exist. Aliens is something I’m more open about. In a universe so big, I find it difficult to believe we’re the only living things in it. Aliens exist, but we just haven’t found them and they might have not found us. That’s just my personal take on it.

21)Right arm: my nightstand; Left arm: air

22)Coffee.

23)Any one of my family parties (except the one where I ended up winning 8 consecutive games of domino, that was awesome). Or even just a party with people I don’t know. Just parties.

24) 1-Brendon Urie. I just think he’s such a beautiful and genuine person. You don’t find many people that give off the good vibe he does. I admire is vocal skills like crazy, but I’m mainly drawn in by his personality. You can see that he really does care about his fans and appreciates everything they do for him. And he’s not bad on the eyes either. 2-Troye Sivan. He’s another individual that I find beautiful inside and out. His voice is so soothing and he has such a relaxing aura about him that I really like. And the blonde hair works for him like wow, end me. 3-Patrick Stump. Now some people (I’ll fight you), might disagree with my opinion since he’s put on some weight. I’m the kind of person that can find anybody attractive so long as they have a great personality. Patrick, to me, is a gorgeous human being and the fact that he’s chubby doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I find his cheeks to be adorable (which is odd coming from someone younger than him, but bear with me). It’s also comforting seeing someone that’s like me: not your everyday image of a perfect celebrity/person. He’s just an amazing person and I really admire him.

25)To become the best version of ourselves we can possibly be, and to serve others.

26)I’ve finally got my learners permit but I have yet to actually sit in front of the wheel. I’m a bit terrified considering the area I live in isn’t the safest place to drive.

27)I don’t remember the name but I know it was a movie about two lonely elderly people (a man and woman) who find comfort in each other’s company. It was really cute.

28)A broken arm when I was like a couple months to a year old. Not gonna get into details but just know that it was a long ass time ago and I haven’t severely injured myself since.

29)Webtoons

30)Not really.

31)Takes too much energy so no. Doesn’t mean I forget, though.

32)Pisces

33)A ticket to my school’s lip sync battle (students vs teachers). It was definitely worth it.

34)Why not both? 😉 (I lean slightly more towards love, but eh.)

35)No

36)A real, genuine relationship? One.

37)For guys and girls it’s different for me. I’m more shy around guys that I have a real interest in and tend to avoid them at all costs. So I’ve never actually been in a relationship with a guy. I’m slightly more forward with girls. In the end, I’m not too sure what kind of “secret weapon” I have since I’m pretty socially awkward and not typically seen as dating material.

38) My best friends are at their houses being just as unproductive as me.

39) Watching YouTube videos. I can’t even remember which ones.

40) If you’re looking for somebody that’s very spontaneous and blunt, I’m your gal. If not, keep walking. I like to think I’d be friends with me since I find similar qualities that I have in my friends (though that’s not to say I want my friends to be just like me; I need people with differing views to keep me grounded).

41) Fuck the job, I’m saving the dog. And if my boss had even the slightest bit of compassion, he’d understand why I was late.

42) I would tell the people closest to me (my mom, select friends, etc.). But I’d insist they not treat me any differently than if I were completely fine and not dying. I’d spend my remaining days just having fun and doing all the things I’ve ever wanted to do. If I have a month to live, I’m not gonna waste it moping and crying over my mortality. I would like to think that I wouldn’t be scared. Everyone dies at some point, some sooner than others. As long as I am willing to live my last days to their fullest, I’ll be fine with dying.

43) Heavy by Oh Wonder

44) Proper communication. If you don’t talk, then how are you going to work out problems and get anything done?

45) Just be genuine. I hate fake people. That being said, if your genuine self is disrespectful and mean-spirited, I want absolutely nothing to do with you.

46) I like to think it does since you’re in a state of mind that few people have been in.

47) I’d like to say becoming vegan. I feel happier with myself for it.

48) Died from meme overload. I just can’t take myself too seriously.

49) A beating organ. If you were expecting something cheesy, sorry to disappoint.

50) Black, white, gray, green (none of that neon bullshit).

51) The phases of the moon.

52) Tonald Drump (for those specific individuals, it’s Donald Trump)

53) Depends in whose asking me, it could be any question. If my mom were to ask me if I’m straight, I’d hesitate. Still, I would probably tell the truth.

54) Idk, money making power? (gotta pay that college tuition)

55) My time in the Colosseum. It was awesome.

56) Anything to do with my biological father.

57) If we’re talking sex, I’m inclined to not answer since I’m still a minor (*cough* Jungkook/Halsey*cough*), but if it’s like legit sleeping, I want to say Lana Del Rey. Idk why but these are the people that popped up.

58) My bitch ass is headed to South Korea. ✌️

59) Yes.

60) Not even gonna explain:

Jungkook

Halsey

Marina Diamandis

Hayley Kiyoko

Brendon Urie

[thepermanentrainpress]

TRACK BY TRACK FEATURE: SAM TUDOR - “QUOTIDIAN DREAM”

Nearly three years following the release of his last record, Sam Tudor is back with Quotidian Dream.

Tudor was born and raised in Williams Lake, BC; his move to Vancouver in the latter teen years greatly influenced the sounds and synergy behind 2014′s The Modern New Year—contemporary campfire melodies with flickers of trumpet, banjo, and keys. On Quotidian Dream, Tudor struggles less with growing into a new city and more with the immediate space around him.

Experimental folk is layered with elements of new wave (“Quotidian Boy”) to jazz (“Chlorine”). Tudor’s vocals bring a soft-spoken intensity to “Truthful,” with the thumping backbeat and whirring of strings coming to a beautiful, unsettling head at its close. “Joseph in the Bathroom” is a remorseful take on his high school days, while “Holiday” presents a warm, folk rock hook. A little grit and power would carry the tune into Mumford & Sons’ Babel territory—but it is his tender nature and jaded lyricism (“Oh it’s the cost of a frozen place, paying for the colour when it’s all gone grey”) which make the closet anthem. Tudor often sings of disconnect with his surroundings—a vacancy marred by routine and expectation and TV screens. But his compositions reflect the opposite; a discerning self-awareness held by the notion that, even as the flames run out of him, he is able to find them again.

Tudor was kind enough to write us a track-by-track on the release, which you can delve into below.

Words below by Sam Tudor:

1. “New Apartment”

I’ve heard people talk about their apartments as safe sanctuaries and I’ve also heard people talk about them as lonely, even threatening spaces. In my experience, a Vancouver apartment can be both of those things simultaneously. When I first moved to Vancouver I would go home with a combination of urgency and anxiety. It’s a bit cliché, but in the last couple of years I’ve been noticing physical space a lot. Most of the photography and paintings that I like these days document empty spaces – human creations that seem alien. Anyway, that’s what I was thinking about for this song. I think when I wrote it I had a specific moment in my head, that moment when you first move in somewhere and you are alone, and you haven’t unpacked your things yet.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

2. “Quotidian Boy”

Writing and performing songs is cool, but it’s also a pretty weird thing. There’s a lot that I find funny about it. I used to write a lot of incredibly broad metaphors that could mean anything and I look back on that and find it funny. The construction of the ‘suffering artist’ image is pretty funny too and I am definitely guilty of it. My good friend Brodie told me that it’s important to always ‘balance the sacred and profane’ in your life. I’m trying to embrace that as much as I can these days, and I think this song says some things that are important to me while laughing at it all as well. The chorus “I’ve got unlimited strikes but I don’t want to play” sums up how I often feel – lots of opportunity, still feeling the urge to bail.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

3. “Truthful”

At some point in the last couple years I became very frustrated with myself. I was in university, and it seemed like I had become more articulate then ever, but wasn’t sure if I was actually saying or understanding anything important. You can congratulate yourself for being complicated and having lots of layers and nuance, but sometimes all that starts to feel like a weight you don’t need. I tend to overthink things a lot, and I often get stuck in these feedback loops. I got in a pretty bad one at that time, sort of like a ferris wheel you can’t get off. This song is a grasp towards something outside that loop. The chorus originally had much more words but I thought that would miss the point, so I just made it the simplest thing ever. I spend a lot of time on lyrics but this time the vibe was way more important than the words. I wanted to just cut through the bullshit and feel real and that was mostly it.

4. “Brain Stealers”

I think this song is mostly just about feeling creatively empty. When I felt as though I couldn’t write any good songs, I wrote this song instead as a sort of ‘exasperated throwing up of the hands’ type thing. It’s funny that it ended up on the album. It features the return of my trusty organ auto-drum: an old, no-name brand organ with a beat setting that I’ve come to really love. It can’t keep tempo anymore and it currently sits in my childhood home at Gavin Lake Camp. My parents keep trying to throw it away, and every time I visit home I fear it will have disappeared forever. Hang in there, organ. A little longer.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

5. “Joseph In The Bathroom”

This song is the one that is most important to me. My hometown and my experience growing up there take up a significant amount of space in my mind. Strange as it is to admit, I was ‘popular’ in highschool in the sense that I had friends and managed to navigate all the high-school cliques (I think being friends with everyone can sometimes mean you are friends with no-one, but that’s a different write-up). I was a survivalist though; and I avoided those people I might otherwise have been friends with if they weren’t generally deemed unpopular. I regret that I acted that way and I regret that highschool channels people in ways like that. Weirdly, the older I get the more I remember and think about those kids in the corners – the ones who weren’t as lucky as me and weren’t able to navigate highschool in such a way. I still feel guilty and angry about it all today. I think the song is about more than just that, but in a sense it’s an apology song.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

6. “Blue Flower”

This is an unlucky song! This song is cursed! I know a girl who was listening to this song and when the line “as the camper van floats off the road” was sung she literally drove off the road and crashed her car! This is a true story! She’s fine, but I have since become very wary of this song. Drive safely, everyone.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

7. “Chlorine”

Do you know that feeling you get when you stay up really late on social media and your eyes start to feel weird and you are tired but also the computer screen has inhibited all your melatonin so you have insomnia and are also a bit stressed and it’s an uncomfortable dream-like state? For me, that’s part of what Quotidian Dream is. I kind of wanted the album to sound like what that felt like. I think this might be the song that taps into the feeling the best. A big part of this song’s tone is created by the use of the trusty fish guitar. Shaped like a fish, and not a very good guitar, but it has a unique, slightly out of tune tone that I love. So I played that a lot in this song, and we had saxophones and strings and recorded it late at night.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

8. “Clinical Names”

We made so many different versions of this song. I’m not really sure why this is the one that ended up on the record. It could genuinely have been an accident.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

9. “Holiday”

I like pop music and big anthemic choruses, but I also tend to write about sad things. So I always end up with weird songs like this one. My brother Harry played the drumbeat first and we wrote the song around it.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

10. “Silver Lining Skies”

I realize after listening to this record as one entity that a lot of it references being in my room, or being in a room, or being in a house, or something like that. This makes sense, considering how much time I do spend in my room. Most of the album was recorded entirely in my room. At the end of this particular song there is an audio file of me walking up the stairs and opening the door to my room. Or… am I exiting my room? Is this me going out in the world happily or retreating further into my own head? Who knows!? Wow, I am such an artist. I am so deep. Holy fuck. Ho-ly Smokes. In all seriousness, I just thought it was an important way to end the album considering how much I’ve been thinking about insides and outsides.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

If you’re still here, thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoy the album.

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Much thanks to Sam for giving us further insight into his new album! Quotidian Dream is available for purchase on Bandcamp. He will be playing a free set as part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival on Saturday, Sept. 16 at the Big Rock Brewery Fringe Bar (1531 Johnston St), alongside Rae Spoon. For more on Sam Tudor:

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Posted by: Natalie Hoy