#but Christ I am not normal about this book

[aceredshirt13]

P. G. Wodehouse: when Archie Moffam was eleven years old he carried a dog three miles to take care of its sore foot. a woman was holding him at gunpoint and trying to force him to go to jail and make it look like he was cheating on his wife, and rather than take an opportunity to run away from her he stopped to help her dog with rheumatism. a stranger once gave him a piece of sausage in the war and upon meeting him by chance in the street Archie repaid him by rescuing him from homelessness, getting him two different jobs, and indirectly fixing his amnesia and reuniting him with his wife. he risked his own already flimsy position with his father-in-law attempting to help a working-class Italian waiter who barely spoke English and owed him nothing get better pay and hours, and when it didn’t work he helped the waiter and his mother get both money and a modicum of revenge. he adores his wife and calls her the “queen of his soul” and in the scene where he’s being held at gunpoint says he would rather be shot dead than break her heart. all this despite being a clearly-traumatized veteran of the First World War who was an officer for five years and was noted for his courage despite his higher-ups’ hatred of him. despite his family kicking him out of England the moment he was demobilized. despite his father-in-law blaming him for things that aren’t his fault and refusing to accept him no matter how hard he tries. despite this, Archie Moffam is so fundamentally full of love.

some reviewer on Amazon: yeah I couldn’t get into Indiscretions of Archie because he had no likable qualities and his wife shouldn’t love him as much as she does

[mzcain27]

It’s 5 in the morning I should be asleep but I’m trying to decide which editions of stormlight archive to get

[girltakovic]

hello upper middle class northern usamerican tumblr user. i want to play a game. you will notice that you are in a super america convenience store in rural kentucky - you have three minutes to purchase a snack and drink of your choice and make normal small talk with the cashier. however, if you use the word "cryptid" or generally make reference to appalachia and its inhabitants as "wild", uncivilized, or lacking restraint around alcoholic beverages during your time here, i will personally tie you to the chassis of a four wheeler and tip it into the river. live or die. make your choice

[prlssprfctn]

Jason, who starts gaslighting his family members by saying that All Blades were always a thing and that they just didn't take him seriously, once they found out about it.

Bruce, frustrated: If you yielded a magical sword in the past, I would know, Jaylad.

Jason: Jesus fucking Christ, I told you, I don't use it often, since it uses my soul. But I did mention that I have it!

Dick: You did not!

Jason: I said that Robin gives me magic! I said I *am* magic!

Bruce: That's—

Dick: But—

Bruce and Dick, turning to Damian helplessly: Your verdict?

Damian, who got already paid by Jason (price was two sneaked in rabbits): That's true. Mother said Todd had always had them. He only ever was sent to All Caste because he needed to be taught how to use it correctly. Didn't Dulcra say that you were the chosen one, Todd?

Jason, intentionally irritated: Exactly! Thank you.

The rest of the family: ●○●

Bruce, sitting in the Cave, in the middle of his 300th existential crisis: I— If Jason is the chosen one, was I technically wrong in our argument?

Dick: ...I can't believe that this is what takes you to accept that you were wrong, and not the fact that— Dunno, he is your son— And you kinda failed him—

Tim: On the more important note, should we call Jason Harry Potter now or something?

Stephanie, snickering: Jason... You are a wizard!

Bruce, sniffling: He did like these books as a child. Perhaps it was his way to try to tell us the truth.

Dick: Damn... Once we were arguing, and I told him that he had no magic... How foolish I was.

Jason, pressing phone to the shoulder, while cooking: ...And now they are staring at me, like I am about to do the whole Enchantix transformation, lol

Talia: I admit, that's amusing. Damian did a great job at supporting this circus.

Ra's voice on the background: Enchantix? What is it? Had that boy found ANOTHER magical device plot?!

Talia: ...Do you think I am too old to pull the same move you did on my father?

Jason: Nah, it is never too late to trick your dad. Get his ass.

Talia: You are absolutely correct.

Talia, screaming to Ra's: He did, father. It is related to the constant cycle of being brought back alive.

Jason, turning around to Damian, who is playing with rabbits on his couch: Prepare, little gremlin. You are about to testify falsely again, this time to your grandfather.

Damian, snorting: Two golden fish and one parrot.

Jason: I will warn your mother.

Tim, with Excel Chart open: Okay, so we figured out that he has All Blades, strange version of immortality, quick recovery thanks to Pit... What other magic Jason can have we don't know about it yet?

Cassandra: Cooking?

Stephanie: ...I think he is just a normal person, Cass.

Dick: NO, no, listen, it is one thing to cook normally, another to be trusted by Alfred.

Duke: ...You are reaching, guys. I think he is just a good chief.

Bruce: He always makes me laugh.

Tim: That's not— B, no one laughs, but you, so what kind of magic power is that?!

Duke: Listen, y'all, what if he sees ghosts?

Everyone: (pauses)

Stephanie, hitting Tim on the shoulder: WRITE IT DOWN, WRITE IT DOWN—

Tim: I am putting it in the "unclear" column, but good idea, dude.

Alfred, glancing at all of this sceptically: Dear Lord, this family is not your brightest soldiers...

[continuousmeowing]

oh i definitely come off as really. really weird when interacting with people irl. i'm doing so well on this beautiful monday morning 👍

[still-july]

i feel manic

I'LL SING AND PAINT AND DANCE AND FUCK AND CRY THE CITY BEFORE I'M DONE BECAUSE IT'S MINE!!!!!!!

i have only had this boy for three fucking pages but if anything happened to him i would murder everyone including myself

[babextoken]

⋆˚₊ show me what you are ⋆˚₊

enemies with benefits vessel x f!reader

summary: you despise your friend of a friend vessel, and he despises you. but you quickly learn you have more in common that you ever thought.

7.4k words

tags, head's up, etc: SMUT, soft sub!vessel, soft domme!reader, lots of antagonizing one another, enemies to lovers, established enemies, casual arrangement, making out, idiots in lust, sexting, masturbation (m + f), praise, dirty talk, pet names (puppy, mommy), cockwarming, cowgirl, pronebone, squirting

a/n: I'm nervous about this one. I've been working on this before I started feeling depressed and I just want it out on the world. Also, in the (paraphrased) words of @rat-that-writes "he could never hate me. I'm too hot."

You’re minding your business at a cafe when he comes in. You lock eyes like you normally do when you happen upon each other. Blank, dead eyes. Face so flat it’s not even a scowl. Sighs. Vessel. A friend of a friend of a roommate of a friend. And a thorn in your side. Ok yes he’s very smart…and witty…and talented…but it doesn’t make him any less arrogant and annoying to be around. You two run in the same circles but that doesn’t mean you hang out. You just exist, for better or for worse, in the same space. No one could understand why you and him didn’t get along. You two weren’t so similar that it was grating, but you also weren’t so different that you were unable to find common ground. But there was something in the way of you two connecting. Of feeling anything other than hate. 

You look back down at your book until you hear the chair across from you scrap across the floor and someone slump into it. 

“I need you.”

You take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of your nose. You look up at Vessel and notice he’s staring at you expectantly. 

“Say something,” he says somewhere between a plea and a demand. 

“What are you talking about…you ‘need’ me?”

He looks down. “Uhm, well, you see…”

“Ves…spit it out.” You’re trying to keep your voice down as more people come into the cafe. Why couldn’t you have had this conversation at the party you both attended the night before? 

“I…fuck. I have…needs and…”

“Oh Jesus Christ.” You roll your eyes and crack your neck. “It’s 10 am…”

“No, let me…finish. God. I…have needs and I don’t really…want to look far. To get them met. Do you understand? Uhm…I..”

Is he asking for…?

“Use your words.”

He doubles back a little and licks his lips. Why do his eyes look watery? “Yeah. Yeah I'll use my words. Uhm. I was wondering if you’d be interested in exploring something sort of…loose with me. No strings.”

You laugh out loud from shock. “Is this a sick joke?”

Oh his little heart breaks when you laugh. You can see it. His sweet face drops. “No…no oh my god. I would never joke about this. Look. Hear me out. I…hun I am desperate. I need to just…” he puts his hand to his forehead… “I need the companionship…and the release…but I don’t have it in me to look for a relationship. Not right now and perhaps never.”

This is the first time you’ve seen him vulnerable and quite frankly you could get used to it. There was something about his voice that was different. Calm. Normal. Sincere. But you still feel that pull towards aggression. Instigation. “And someone you actively despise and harrass is your top pick for a fuck buddy?”

“I know we argue a lot!” he barks back. You shift uncomfortably as a couple at a nearby table glare at you both. Vessel clears his throat and lowers his voice. “We don’t get along. And what I’m asking for is a bit much…maybe we just…pretend for a bit? Every once in a while?” He gulps and shakes his head. “I’m genuinely pathetic, I’m…I’m so sorry. I’m being a fucking knob.”

You cross your arms and consider what he’s saying. “So you’re asking to have some kind of…situationship with me…without ever trying to be nice to me first?”

He wipes his hand down his face and groans. “I…fuck it. Yeah I am. I am here groveling and asking you to sleep with me every so often so that maybe I don’t do my own head in. And, also, I just thought maybe…since you’re…pent up and shitty like me. Maybe you’d like to have some fun every once in a while? It would be mutually beneficial. Our mouths would be busy, eyes closed. Maybe we wouldn’t even know it was the other.”

You scoff. “What is that supposed to mean? Pent up…” you straighten in your seat. But you knew exactly what he meant. You were high strung a lot, and Vessel made an excellent target for your frustrations. How could two shit stirrers find any kind of solace with each other? But…you didn’t have any other prospects banging down the door (or you). You put your hands up in surrender. “Ok. Ok. I’ll bite. Yeah…fun would be nice…”

“Right…yeah, yeah. Because I get the impression it’s been a minute for you and…”

“Dude, come on!” You interrupt. 

“Look,” he shakes his head and looks away, “you’re a nice girl when you want to be. And maybe if this arrangement is with you…someone I don’t really see often or whatever…” he finally looks you in the eyes.

~

That next Friday you’re in his flat for the first time. You sit on the couch awkwardly as he brings you some water and plops beside you. Ves bites the inside of his cheek. No one has really made any moves but first times are always awkward right? No matter what was going to happen tonight, it would be a first of some sort. The first time you’re nice to each other. The first time you really touch each other. “You look pretty.” He says sheepishly. 

You look down at your baggy band tee and short yoga shorts. “Don’t lie to me.”

“My god just take the compliment. We’re here just trying to have a good time and…”

“Ok ok. Thank you…Ves…that’s sweet of you to say.”

He turns a bit more towards you, searching your face. His eyes trace your body head to toe as he tries to stifle a small smile. This was his idea and yet he still doesn’t want to show you how much he likes looking at you. Being around your pretty self. You suddenly start to feel nervous as he scoots closer to you. He curls his long legs up underneath him and gently touches your arm. You study his fingers like they’re some harmless little bugs before bringing your gaze back up to his face. He’s not ugly. No. You just never think about his looks because he’s so annoying to you. But here you both are, looking at each other in quiet fascination. Your breath hitches.

“Why me, Ves?”

“Why not you?” Vessel rolls his eyes and moves a little closer and puts his hand out tentatively near your thigh. You gulp, pulling his hand to rest on your smooth skin. His hand rubs gentle strokes against you and his breath deepens. “You feel so good. God.”

“Yeah?”

He bites his lip and looks at you so dreamily. You chuckle. The world stops for what feels like the hundredth time since you’ve gotten here. You feel your head spin a little as he looks at you with what you want to call “desire,” but how could you two ever feel anything other than disdain? Vessel clears his throat slightly. “You can back out…before everything changes…”

“Everything’s changed already, Ves.”

His hand moves up your thigh and squeezes, kneading your soft flesh. He hums contently when you move closer, nearly on his lap. You were wrong when you said everything had already changed. It actually changed the moment you two instinctively moved closer. Not a kiss, but a hug. At first it was tense. Like siblings being told to hug it out. But soon the awkwardness wasn’t the most distracting thing. It was how he felt to you. Sure he was lanky and toned, but he had a softness. A gentleness in how his arms pulled you close and enveloped you. It made you feel like the tiniest thing. And you could tell he enjoyed it and wanted to relax. As he loosened up, he held you closer. He breathed you in. You swear you could fall asleep until he drags cheek and nose up your neck…it reminded you of an animal scenting something. Or maybe he wanted your essence on him. He starts to speak in a barely there whisper and then clears his throat.

“May I, please, start kissing you?”

You gulp. The hug alone aroused you, and the thought of kissing him made you feel completely brainless. “Yeah,” you whisper thickly. 

Vessel places small, gentle kisses in the crook of your neck, taking his time and breathing deeply between each peck. His lips are naturally pouty and feel so soft on your skin. He lets his lower lip drag up to your jaw before placing a delicate kiss right by your earlobe. You would say you don’t know what to do with your hands but they move on instinct. One gently squeezes his waist as the other traces lazy patterns on the back of his neck. 

“I love how your nails feel on me,” he whispers. He sounds like a different person. He’s actually lost in you…and you would know because you’re lost in him. You let your hand drift up to his hairline where you begin to scratch his scalp. His head falls back; his eyes closed and lips slightly parted. You chuckle softly and move both hands to his hair. Eventually you’re in his lap but you’re hesitantly to really relax. “I’ve got you. Have a seat, love.”

You start to feel nervous and the nasty voice in your head that says you’re not worthy and perfect for this kind of situation gets louder. “Is it because I’m easy? Do you think I’m easy?” You blurt out. So many times you’ve been taken advantage of and it wouldn’t even surprise you if this was one of those times where you were in the right place and desperate. 

Vessel’s eyes open, and he looks at you completely lost. He leans forward and helps you cross your legs around his waist. “You… darling…are one of the most difficult people I’ve ever encountered. It must really mean something if you’re here…in my flat…nestled on my lap. And I’m grateful. Thank you.” He begins kissing your neck again but with more fervor this time. More need. Your back arches as his kisses become wetter and his hands knead your plush thighs and ass. It’s no use. You give in to instinct and gently move his face to yours but you both stop. Your noses touch but the realization starts to set in. As quickly as you came together, you’re pulling apart.

“This isn’t the move, is it?” You ask, getting off his lap and smoothing your hair back.

Vessel inhales and rubs his face, groaning. “No. It was a mistake. Besides, you gave me that look.”

“What look?!”

“Oh don’t play dumb. You know the look. The one where you watch me flounder when you could help me.”

You scoff and stand up. “Wow you’re catching on. That’s how I always look at you.” You start to walk towards the door when you turn back to him. He hasn’t left his seat on the couch and doesn’t seem to care to do so. You’re not quite sure what you’re feeling. Arousal, but also annoyance at how quickly the mood changed. Certainly it was Vessel that ruined it, right? You feel that familiar stirring. To project. To rile him up and tear him down. 

He stares back at you. “You’re as pathetic as me. Don’t forget that. You wanted this too. You probably still do.”

Him being both right and cruel about it ignites a white hot rage inside you. You want to scream at him

ask what you did to deserve this from him. To ask him why he makes himself so easy to hate. But instead, you leave. 

...

A week later you’ve kept your weird interaction with Vessel in the back of your head but until then, you couldn’t give two dicks. It was the weekend. And it wasn’t like you to be at a bar like this. Metalheads. The hottest, tiniest goth girlfriends you’d ever seen. You felt out of place but your friends said “noooo we should go! It’s something different to do.” So you put on little black dress and Dr Martens and said “fuck it.” And you were glad you did because a new environment also meant new guys…and to your surprise you actually got some positive attention. 

You found yourself chatting with a guy at the bar as you waited for your drink. He was friendly and handsome enough; you had the ugly thought that maybe he was one of those metalheads who had never actually spoken to a girl, but that was quickly forgotten when you started a thoughtful conversation about a series you both like. And it wasn’t one of those conversations where a nerdy guy dominates and info dumps and corrects you like a jackass. It’s just…enjoyable. He finally starts warming up to you a little and lets his hand graze yours, laughing at your reaction when a sludgier song comes on. You bite your lip and giggle a little, flirting with him saying, “maybe I need someone to help me appreciate metal a little more.” Your hands briefly touch again, and he leans a little closer…letting his free hand lightly touch your waist. You play coy and back up a little. It looks like he’s about to get his phone out before his eyes trail up and behind you. You’re wondering what he’s looking at until you feel a looming presence and a wide hand rub against your back and shoulder.

“There you are, gorgeous. I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

Your jaw clenches into a tight, fake smile. That accent. You look up at your uninvited guest.

“Hello, Ves. I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

The cute guy you were talking to looks confused and maybe a little sad. Fuck! You facepalm and groan as Vessel waves to him nonchalantly. “Heya…alright, mate?” His voice is dripping in sarcasm. 

Your brain scrambles. “He just means I’d been up here for so long I forgot about the friend group” you say trying to save face. “Not just him. Definitely not.” Vessel squeezes your hip in feigned affection which makes the guy tsk, roll his eyes, and walk away. “Wait, I’m serious,” but he’s already gone. You scoff, ready to pummel Vessel who was easily a head taller than you and more than capable of overpowering you if you tried. You actually liked that guy and thought something was there.

“What the fuck was that?” You ask, eyes shooting daggers into Ves. 

He snorts and shrugs. This is no big deal to him. “That guy was a loser.”

“So?! What do you care?”

“Oh come now, babes. You would have annoyed that bastard to death…he could have never kept up with you.” That shit eating grin. God you could just slap it right off of him. You know that he would leave you alone if you just…didn’t respond. Ignored him. But something kept telling you to egg him on. To react.

“You’re such a dick,” you say, rolling your eyes and walking away. You make it halfway across the bar when he grabs your arm. 

“HEY! I came over to talk to you. Don’t walk away from me.”

“Wow, and how inviting you seem right now! Sabotaging my night and grabbing me. Is this the only way you can get girls near you?”

His brows knit together and he stands closer to you…so much so you’re looking straight up. “Sabotage? Did you like him that much? If you really, really wanted to go home with him tonight then why are you here with me? Also…” he leans down to whisper, “I didn’t have to do much pulling and prodding to get to you mine last week.”

“What the fuck do you want” you sneer. But you find yourself wanting to stay put. The warmth radiating from his tall form. His cologne. The intensity of his gaze. Your attempt at a makeout session last week suddenly replayed in your head very loudly. You snap back to reality when Vessel huffs with a terse laugh and looks away. 

“I hate to say it but…I wanted to ask you something. Ask you…for something…again.” You search his face for understanding. He can’t even look you in the eye but you can tell he’s humiliated. Tail-between-the-legs humiliated. Little-boy-caught-by-mommy humiliated. The pause is heavy. The ambient noise in the bar fades away when he looks at you. He tries to find words but they aren’t coming. “Fuck. Never…never mind, it's stupid. Have a nice night” He lets go of your arm and storms away. 

You’re left there with your jaw on the floor. Usually this tall arrogant nerd wouldn’t shut up giving you a hard time. Now he’s running away. Without thinking, you follow him outside the bar and call out. 

“Ves, what the hell was that?” You hate to say it but you actually feel concerned. Like you have to finally put down your senseless grudge and actually talk to him. “Are you ok?” 

He looks out down the street. It’s a busy Friday night. Folks bar hopping, getting Ubers, whatever people who like each other do downtown, but it feels like it’s just you two. Your eyes bore into him, and he finally looks down at you. Blankly, but at least he’s looking at you. “I know how we can make the…‘situation’ work. 

“Oh? Other than bothering someone else?”

“Do you know what? This is your problem. You’re mouthy and always antagonizing to try to keep some hold over me…and I want all of it. I need you to keep being that way with me. Please.” His voice has dropped to a gravely murmur as his hands shake in clenched fists at his side. 

You two stare at each other for a moment too long. It’s uncomfortably intimate. You’re having a conversation without speaking and it eats at you. You should not want this. Not again. Not him. “What do you mean?”

He fidgets. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Are you kidding? You’re really going to stand here and ask me for something again without defining any terms? Without playing your part in whatever this sick little thing is?”

“If it’s so sick then why are you blushing? You blushed like that when I kissed your neck in my flat. You’re like me. Come on.”

You cock an eyebrow, realizing slowly what he means. “You like this…don’t you? Being put in your place?”

“You haven’t actually done it yet, but…if you did…we’d all feel better. Even if for a brief moment. An hour. An evening. Just…please,” he takes on that same pleading…groveling tone again. He means it. “I can’t…for lack of a better word and I know it’s stupid but…I can’t ‘show up’ and turn my brain off if we’re…equals or something.. So please…where do I belong? Tell me.”

The idea that this…dummy who antagonizes you wants to submit to you breaks your brain. But wait. 

“How did you even know to ask me about this, hm? Did you ask around…maybe even try to snoop on my socials?” Your voice isn’t harsh, but it isn’t gentle. Strict. Probing. 

The way he looks down and rubs the back of his neck, which suddenly looks biteable, is adorable. He gulps. “I uhm…I’m sorry…but I..”

You bite your lip and chuckle as he shifts from one foot to another. A couple walks past and gives you both a once over, which makes you stand closer to him. If he wants to feel claimed, you can try. Being in his personal space where everyone can see.

“I uhm…I heard you talking not too long ago…about…” he lowers his voice “about subby guys and…well..”

“Wooooow….so… been eavesdropping, eh, bub?”

He opens his mouth and only a little whimper comes out. “I’m so sorry.” He keeps looking down, but you reach up and guide his chin so he looks at you. 

“What a resourceful boy…” you say in a sticky sweet voice. “You were just dying to find something out to the point that you decided to sneak around? Was it fun? Little puppy sniffing around for clues…hm?”

Oh the blush that covers his face. The way his eyes sparkle. You know exactly when he overheard you wax poetic about submissive men to your friends at that party…because you knew he was there. You wanted him to hear…because you had your suspicions too. “Answer my question. Dig up your bones for me…did you have fun with your little secret mission?” 

He breaths shakily and bites his lip. Finally he nods…and gives you a big cheeky grin. “Yes ma’am.”

“Eh don’t call me ‘ma’am.’ Makes me sound old.”

“Oh sorry sorry uhhh I don’t mean to…”

“Ves…my goodness…it’s ok. You didn’t know.” You chuckle softly and feel like you’re looking at him for the first time. “Don’t be hard on yourself. And that’s my first order for you.” 

His back straightens a little and his pouty lips curl into a shy smile. “I can do that.”

“Good boy.” You can see his pupils dilate…his breath catch…his heart swell. Oh to be your good boy even though you despise him. 

Something inside you has snapped. Suddenly this insane “mutually beneficial” arrangement excites you. Having casual sex with someone you don’t like in the name of “some fun” was ok, but seeing now that he was naturally submissive made your head spin. This you could work with. 

“I will take a crumb. Honestly. Anything you’ll give me…even if this is the last time we talk about it and it falls through again…”

You put your hand up to stop him. “Stop that.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He winces when the word leaves his mouth. 

You smirk and brush his hair back a bit. Your nails lightly scratching his forehead. He wants to purr. To roll his eyes back and feel your nails all over him. 

“Look at you,” you whisper, letting your nails trail over his cheek. “Such a big baby. Aren’t you?”

“Let me take you home…please. Please…”

“No. Hmm. No, I don't think so. Not tonight.” 

He pouts a little bit but nods. “Yeah…yeah ok.”

“Mhm…be patient for me. Can you do that?”

He nods and bites his lip. You can tell he’s excited. “When we’re not like…playing or whatever…you don’t have to treat me any differently. It can be our secret. As we were, yeah?”

You take your time with this. You two rarely see each other as it is and like hell you’d mess with him in front of others. So things develop over texting and the occasional late night phone call…but usually texting. Talking on the phone leads to tone policing. Arguments. It’s best to just keep things borderline anonymous. 

Ves: are you too busy for me?

It was 10 pm. You were drinking wine in your underwear watching Scream. Technically, yes, you were busy. But you knew why he was texting and maybe it would be fun to indulge. 

You: I guess not. What do you need?

The response is instant. He was waiting for you.

Ves: nothing really. 

Ves: just wondering about you 

You: what about me?

Ves: what you’re doing. what you’re wearing. if I’ll ever actually get to be your good boy. feels like you want me at arms length all the time. Is that part of the fun for you?

What seemed like a fun flirty conversation has now turned somewhat emotional. You sigh, desperate to get things back on track. As you try to formulate a response, you get…oh.

The video’s thumbnail is dark, but you open it anyways. You hear blankets rustling and music being turned down as it becomes clear what he’s sent you. He’s laying on his back in bed; the blanket is pushed down to right below his belly button. You’ve never seen him shirtless…and now that’s all you want to see. Yeah he works out but he looks soft. Kissable. You can imagine how fun it would be to kiss down his neck to his tummy, telling him how pretty he is…making him feel small and fuckable. He starts talking…you can tell he’s nervous.

“Maybe this is too needy…too pathetic…I don’t know” he strokes his free hand mindlessly up and down his stomach, “but you like this. Maybe you want me to act out. Just tell me…please… Do you want me like this? Desperate…completely stupid…” As his voice trails off, he moves his hand down to his blanket-covered waist and palms…

“Oh shit,” you whisper as the outline of his cock comes into view and he speaks again. 

“I want you to want this…please…can I be needy for you?” The video ends just as he lets out a soft, breathy whimper. 

You compose yourself…or try to…and respond. 

You: look at you. Are you comfy in that big bed?

Again, the response is instant. 

Ves: yeah but I’m lonelllyyyyy. 

You: just pretend it’s me, sweetheart.

Ten minutes pass. Wait. Why are you sad he didn’t respond? Why do you care? Why…*ding ding*

Ves: ok, I did it. did I do good?🥺

Another text. A picture. What. A. Sight.

His hand concealed his now flaccid cock… but fully on show was his cum covered tummy. You choke back a moan and grasp your blankets. At this point you’ve forgotten who you’re texting and quite frankly you don’t care. 

You: such a good boy 🐶 you’re a hot mess, aren’t you? 

Crickets. Fucking. Crickets. You don’t hear from him for three days. You keep telling yourself it’s ok and not worth thinking about because you hate each other. It’s just mindless fun. Nothing personal. But then…it dawns on you. You’re technically in charge. 

You: come over  Ves: why? You: why do you think? be here at 8. don’t be a brat  Ves: 🧎‍♂️🐶 see you at 8

Right on the dot, he’s there. You’re hoping this doesn’t end the way it did last time. Necking in his lap before you came to your senses. But the energy is different. He stands close to and studies your face.

“What should I call you? When we’re…you know?”

“What feels natural? Other than ma’am…” you chuckle. Aw. An inside joke. 

He bites his lip and blushes. Why is he doing sweater paws with his hoodie? Such a slut. 

“I can think of one but…” he stammers, “not quite brave enough yet to use it.”

“That’s ok.” Your hands drift up to his chest, where you start to play with drawstrings of his hoodie. “Let me get you some water…do you need a snack before we get started?” 

He considers for a bit but shakes his head. “I can wait until you’re done with me”

You suppress a whimper. He’s in his subspace for you. Get it together. Also, easily entertained much? 

All he said implied was that he’d need sustenance after whatever you do to him because you’ll use him for all he’s worth. Very normal! Not worth whimpering over! “Let me show you my bedroom.” 

You gently pull let the hoodie’s drawstrings bounce as you let go of them. When you step inside your room he chuckles a little.

“Squishmallows eh?”

You give him a playful sneer, although any other time you would have laid into him. “Better get comfy with them if you want to do this.”

He’s already on the bed, shoes kicked off. He grabs one that looks like a shark and holds it to his chest. “Genuinely…your bedroom is really cozy. Thanks for having me over.” He says this as if it was any other conversation, but then he licks his lips a little. “I’m just going to lay here until you need or want me to do something. Is that ok?”

Well. You’re already straddling him before he can finish. “What have you been doing the past three days…hm?”

“I uh…” he stammers and looks up at you with watery puppy eyes. “Working. But…there were some things I didn’t do…”

“Yeah like talk to me.”

“Tsk. Stop. Just because we’re doing this doesn’t mean I’ve become a complete nympho. Honestly.” He rolls his eyes and looks away. “I was going to text you tomorrow anyways. I haven’t touched myself since that night we texted…haven’t…” he shifts under your weight and you feel a slight throb.

“Oh…is three days a long time for you? Hmm?”

He chuckles a little and squeezes the shark. “It’s…” he snorts when he laughs and hides his face. You move his hands and he chuckles a little more. What a beautiful sound. You realize you could recognize it anywhere and be better for it. “Yeah yeah yeah. It's been a long time for me. It’s usually everyday. Twice.”

“You gave up…six orgasms…for me? Of your own free will?”

“I wanted to do eight, gorgeous. I really did. But you texted and…”

“Well who said you were cumming tonight?”

He takes a deep breath and his eyes roll back a little. “My mistake.”

“No no no.” You lean down and kiss his forehead. “You did the right thing. Saving yourself up for me.” Your kisses trail down to his jaw. Fuck his soft and smooth. You gently nip at his earlobe and chuckle softly as he whines with pleasure. “You know what you are?”

“Hmm?” He lets out hazily. 

“A good boy. A good puppy. Coming when called. Obeying.” Your nose trails against his and you think for a second that this will be a repeat. You two will snap out of it. But he squirms again and pouts.

“I can be so good…please…”

“I’m not even doing anything to you yet…”

He groans as you slide off him and start palming his crotch. 

“Do you know how many times I got off thinking about that video you sent me?”

His cock bobs against your touch as he groans pathetically. “N-no…no idea. It wasn’t much…” 

You start to stroke him. Oh he’s needed this. His hips buck up into hand as he white knuckles the stuffed shark. Mumbled pleas fall from his pretty lips as you ask him what he’s hiding in his sweats. Your fingers slide under his waistband. His moans are whiny and whimpering. 

“Such a puppy.”

You slide his sweats and underwear slowly…just enough to free his cock. You gasp aloud. “Oh my goodness…Ves…look at you. Look. HEY.” You snap a bit to get his attention. His head is lolling back and you haven’t even touched his uncovered cock yet. “I said to look.”

He looks down and groans again as your manicured hands stroke him. You bite your lip and think about how exquisite it’ll feel inside you. The shark squishmallow is put to the side, and he comes up on his elbows. “Mmm..mm…your hands are so pretty. S’soft. Fuuuuck.” Your strokes are gentle and steady. His hips buck to control the pace but you gently flick his tummy. 

“Good boys don’t take.”

He pouts and settles into your bed. He seems to be enjoying himself. His legs twitching, his moans coming more often than not. But you wanted to play. You wanted his brain off. For now he was yours. You stop stroking. “Ves. Look at me.”

He whimpers when you stop and raises his head. The whimper turns into a strangled sob as the long string of spit from your lips coats the head. Your slow, teasing, wet strokes make his face contort like he’s sobbing. “Fffffff….uuuuCK! M-m-mmmm…mommy please.” You freeze and look up at him. 

“What was that?”

His face is all panic. “Oh my god oh my god no I’m sorry. It just slipped out…I’ll…fuck…no I’m so sorry.”

You lean forward and shut him up with a tender kiss on the lips. You allow his hands to trail over your ass and breasts, letting his touch linger a bit too long over your nipples. When you pull away, he’s blushing like crazy with hazy, dreamy eyes. “You’re such a good boy,” you whisper.

“T-thank you…mommy.” 

You slip out of your clothes and relish in his gaze. For the first time you don’t feel like he’s here to be your biggest critic…and you don’t need to mouth off to him. He looks at you with a dopey little grin. “Are you going to use me?”

You chuckle softly as you straddle him again. “You could say that. Make you my little boy toy. Would you like that?”

His whimpering keeps him from answering, probably because you’re teasing the head of his cock with your already wet pussy. “God…please use me. Please…it’s what I’m good for…I’ll make you so happy mommy I promise…please!!”

You blush and forget yourself for a bit when he brings one of his hands to his face. He looks adorable. He needs to be held. He needs kisses. “Give me a hand, puppy. Hold yourself still.”

He reaches down and holds his cock as you slide down. He hisses in pleasure and whines as you moan from the stretch. You grasp his chest as his cock disappears into your pretty pussy, your head thrown back and mouth wide open. Vessel’s breath is coming hard and fast as he touches you. He’s bottomed out inside you and he doesn’t dare move. You haven’t told him to. He needs to be good. The past three days won’t have been worth it if he fucks this up. 

You reach back and pat his thigh. “Bend your legs, puppy.”

“Yeah…yeah ok…” he groans out as he obeys. One hand holds his waist while the other trails under his hoodie. He whimpers and bites his lip as you toy with his nipple. 

“Lift your hoodie.” He lifts it only to expose his stomach but stops there. You tsk and pull it up so his chest is uncovered…mmm. “Look at my pretty boy…” you whisper as you kiss across his chest. You take in the warmth and natural scent of his skin…how he tastes under your little licks across his nipples…the texture of his skin between your teeth. A delicious chain reaction occurs when his cock throbs hard against you after leaving teeth marks on one of his pecs. “You’re being so good. I didn’t even have to tell you what to do.”

He looks at you hazily. You’ve only been cockwarming him, and he’s already empty headed. He nods dumbly but then yelps when your pussy clenched around him. 

“Tell me what you thought about that night…when you made the video.”

He gulps and holds you close to his chest. His cock is buried in your tight pussy but he doesn’t dare move.

“I..heh…I thought about being your seat. Your human mattress.”

You kiss and suck on his neck, admiring the red marks already decorating him. “Oh? You like being squished?”

“I thought about something like this. But you’re…you’re fucking me. You lay on my dead weight and then…” his cock throbs inside you and he whimpers.

“Shh I know,” you kiss his temple and nuzzle his face gently. “It feels so fucking good, huh? You like being under me like this?”

“Mhmmm…so safe…mm soft…fuck!” He holds on to you like he did with the shark plushie, his fingers pressing into your flesh desperately. He grits his teeth as he throbs inside you and whines. “Y-y-you’re so…tight. What the fuuuuuck.”

All this time you’ve been covering his face with kisses, grabbing his chin every time he tried to hide from your affection. His heels dig into your bed as he tries to keep himself from squirming and fucking you.

“Can you be still? Hm?”

“Ye…yeah. Yeah sorry…you just…aahhhh fuck…”

“Use your words, Vessy.” 

His eyes roll back and his back arches slightly. “Don’t call me that…makes me feel little…”

“I do have you pinned down…don’t I? You’re the one squirming.”

His eyes are glassy as he pouts. “Are you enjoying this? I…I…don’t feel like you are…”

You consider this for a second. 

“I don’t want to keep going if you’re not…” His eyes are desperate. “You need this too…fuck…please tell me you need this. You want this right? Please I’ll make you feel so good…if you just bounce on it a little. Please please…I’ll be such a good boy. You can lay on me and…and…I’ll just be a toy. I can take it…let me show you.” 

You don’t even realize you’ve started fucking him. Your hips roll gently, and he lets out an almost pained moan. His hips meet yours and your eyes roll back.

“Fuck…puppy…” your head and vision go a bit fuzzy as he bucks into you and…oh dear.

“Shit shit shit…I’m…I’m sorry…I’m cumming…baby…baby…” he bites his lip and looks up for reassurance as his hands mash you down further on his cock. He hates that he came so fast, it’s clear, but fuck it feels good. 

“It’s ok…cum for me…” you whisper. 

He lays back and catches his breath. You don’t move…his spent cock still trembling in your pussy. He whimpers pathetically.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. He’s clearly not just coming off his high. 

“Fuck I just….” He closes his eyes. “That’s so embarrassing. We barely did anything and I just…came like a fucking virgin. Go ahead.” He covers his eyes with his arm, “make fun of me. Tell me how pathetic I am.” Wow. He already wants to go back to normal.

“No. I don’t think I will.” 

You’re still on top of him. Cockwarming him. You gently move his arm and look at him softly. His lips twitch. Not to kiss you, but to try and smile. 

“You feel nice on me,” he whispers. “I really like your body. Even…even before we started this. Thought you were pretty.”

You chuckle a little and rest your chin in your hand. “Not sure why.”

He rolls his eyes. “Do you know why I hate you?”

You shake your head and let out a little laugh. 

“It’s because you’ve made me realize I don’t have to be miserable. That I could be someone to someone else. But that requires…change. Taking care of my…stupid self. Being better. I can’t have you. You don’t want me as I am. Honestly. I’m a wreck. It’s better for you to hate me and only see me as a plaything.”

His hands trace lazy patterns on your back. How strange it is to have this conversation while he’s inside…but that doesn’t bother you as much as his confession does. 

“Vessel. Jesus. I…Ves…I can’t stand you because you’ve never been nice to me. And now you’re saying it’s because you like me too much, yet not enough to get over yourself?”

He winces and sniffs. “It would be easier, getting over myself, rather than trying to not feel something for you.”

You move his face so he’s looking at you again. “Do you want to leave,” you ask. “You don’t have to stay longer than you want.”

Ves cups your face and tries to steady his breathing. “No. No, I don't want to leave. I want to stay and pretend I’m not me for just a little while. Is that ok?” You stare at each other…your breathing syncs…your eyes search other’s face. He strokes your face and purrs softly as his cock begins to stiffen again. Each time it throbs, you whimper, which in turn makes him chuckle softly. His hand slides down to your ass. “I need you. You’re the only one I want to…be with like this.”

“You don’t want this with someone you love.”

His eyes bore through you. He huffs and bites his lip, leaving an indention you swear would break skin. “May I please…may I please fuck you again? Properly. The way you deserve.”

You gasp softly and nod. “Would you like to be on top, puppy?”

His inhale is shuddering and sharp as he nods dumbly. You slide off him and lay beside him on your stomach. Ves seems confused.

“A-a-are you sure? From behind?”

You nod and beckon him closer. He slides off his sweats but you tell him to keep the hoodie on. “How hard are you for me?”

Leaning against you between your legs, he lightly taps his cock on your ass. It’s heavy and feels warm against your curves. He kneads your plush ass and whines a little. “So lucky…I am such..a…lucky…fucking…boy….fuuucckkkk.” He presses into your gushy pussy with a long, pathetic moan. You press against him, and his grip on your hips becomes shaky. “GOD you’re so hot….fuuccckkkkkk.”

You chuckle and moan as he thrusts gently…just trying to create some friction without completely losing his mind. He leans down and you feel the draw strings of his hood tickle your back. You reach behind you.

“What is it?”

“Come here, puppy,” you whisper softly. When he does you’re able to grab the drawstrings…anything to keep him in place. Leash him. Your fingers grip the collar of his hoodie now, and he collapses into you. “You going to be good? Stay right here for me, hm?”

He can’t even speak…he just lets out whimpers and moans that sound like sobs. You can only gasp with each thrust as he blubbers about it feeling “so..so..so..fucking good.” He whines into your shoulder as you pull him closer but the hoodie. “Please…let me…let me touch…please…”

“Mhm…” you let out weakly as he ruts into you. His hand trails down and under you towards your clit. You buck back into him as his nimble fingers find your clit. Cumming on your tummy never came easy, but with an eager lover, you think now it could happen. No matter who’s fingers it was rubbing your puffy clit between his fingers. 

“Mm…baby…baby let me bad. Please I know…i know…i know… I’m good boy but please let me bad…”

You grip your pillow and groan as your pussy quakes around his long cock. He takes this and your slutty, high pitched moan as consent. He takes your wrists in one hand and grips them roughly. You would be concerned about bruises if you weren’t seeing stars from the way his cock’s head rubs against your g-spot. He lets out something like a growl as he fucks you faster and harder. You’re mashed into the bed and cumming for the second time as he grabs you tight and bites your shoulder. You yelp and moan pathetically.

“Ves you’re so bad….you’re so…fucking naughty….” You’re cumming again as you lift your ass like you want him to mount you even deeper. He takes a break just to feel your orgasm squeeze him and to catch his breath. You let go of his hoodie, and he quickly rips it off. A sharp spank lands on your ass…he hisses with pleasure as he watches the skin of your ass cheek pinken before he lands another on you. 

“May…may I roll you over…please” he asks as he pulls out of you and rolls you over. It’s almost adorable how he toes the line between the asshole you know and a precious submissive boy. He spreads your legs, putting one up against his chest as he presses his cock back into you. One hand grasps your tummy and the other holds your ankle for leverage. “You’ve ruined me…” he moans as your name falls from his lips. Over. And over. And…over. He nibbles and kisses your ankle as he presses hard on your squishy lower tummy. His gasps come hard as it’s quite clear he’s reaching his limit.

“Ves…you’re gonna make me…fuck…I’m…”

“That’s it. Please…I want to see it…I need it…you’re so …ffffucking gorgeous….” he grabs you harder and rams into you with a powerful groan, his eyes wild as he exhales and bites his lip. “You’re…you’re going to cum…so….FUCKING hard on me…you won’t be able to cum again without thinking about me…Fffffuuuhhh”

His face contorts as his second orgasm ripples through his entire body. The thrusts become short, hurried bumps against your pussy as your back arches. You begin to rub your clit in rough, hurried circles as he fucks his cum hard into you. His eyes are misty as he mumbles about what a pretty angel you are…how good you’re taking his dick when…oh god…

A few moments later, he’s pulled out of you, looking down at the mess you made. You had never…ever squirted. And this…well…Vessel did that. You had no energy to hate. To be mean. Everything was different now. “I…wow…”

“Ever done that before?”

You lay back and catch your breath, wiping your watering eyes, shaking your head. “No…so…thanks I guess.”

He rubs your thighs and chuckles. “You’re amazing. Do you know that?”

You smile up at him and chuckle.

“Christ, what?”

“You’ve ruined it.”

“Oh…fuck off..ruined what?” He laughs and runs his fingers through his hair.

“My plans to die alone and hate you forever…thanks a lot.”

“Likewise, sweetheart.”

[livwritesstuff]

Steve is fighting a losing battle.

He’s fighting it regardless – there's something kind of courageous about that, he thinks.

Or maybe it’s just stupid.

Steve doesn’t care, he’s gonna fight it anyway.

The battle involves the stairs – the landing, to be specific, and the way it has become an unofficial final resting place for so much of his daughters' shit.

So much.

He loves his children. He loves them more than anything, actually.

Still, they drive him goddamn insane sometimes. They just – they’re teenagers, right? So they’re spending all their time holed up in their rooms which, fine, sure, whatever, that’s normal enough. But why, then, is their stuff all over Steve’s house?

Steve isn’t the kind of guy who needs the house spotless, or whatever, but he could do without it looking like a tornado-stricken Walmart.

Hair dryers and bottles of nail polish in the living room, Hazel’s makeup all over the kitchen counter, phone chargers and headphones all over the bathroom, and – Jesus Christ – the sweatshirts. Between his three daughters every single surface in his house has a discarded sweatshirt on it, and it’s not like he can do anything about it because he has no goddamn clue which ones belong to which kid and guessing wrong leads to World War-level fighting.

His solution: he’ll just leave all their stuff on the landing so as they head upstairs to barricade themselves in their rooms, they’ll see it and take it up with them.

The problem with his solution: the girls (who he loves so much) just step right over the mess and continue on their way.

“Why the hell am I stepping on fucking hairbrushes going down the stairs?” Eddie asks him one day.

“You wouldn’t be if your children would just bring their shit up to their rooms,” Steve replies drily.

Later, when the girls get home from school, Robbie passes through the kitchen where Steve and Eddie are sitting at the counter.

“Hello, my darling daughter,” Eddie says, “How was your day today?”

“Fine,” she replies, not taking her eyes off her phone as she heads for the stairs just like she always does.

“Robbie,” Steve says, “I left your books on the stairs. Please take them up with you.”

“Uh-huh,” she mumbles, but as she approaches the books it becomes evident that she would be doing no such thing.

“Robbie,” he calls, “Amelia Robin.”

The only response he gets is the sound of her bedroom door closing.

“I’m listing all this shit on eBay – swear to god,” he tells Eddie as he waves a hand loosely in Robbie’s direction in a can you believe this shit kind of gesture.

Eddie replies, “Maybe list her too while you’re at it.”

[katakaluptastrophy]

Instantiating the Trinity and the Second Resurrection.

I have spent way too long wondering what on earth was going on here:

G— on his way with the nuke. The ships on the launchpad, twenty hours to go now, less. So much waiting around. Me in my bedroom with a nun and a migraine, her thinking that if she pushed me enough we’d instantiate the Trinity and we’d all be saved. Everyone else drinking.

What on earth does "instantiate the Trinity" mean? What did the nun think she was doing? What did she think John was?

This happens in John 1:20. What is John 1:20 in the Bible?

And he confessed, and denied not; but confessed, I am not the Christ.

It's where John the Baptist is asked if he is the messiah and says that he is not.

But what other role does John the Baptist play in the Bible? As his name might suggest, he baptises. He baptises lots of people, but specifically, he baptises Jesus.

But before he does that, he's out in the wilderness prophesying the end of the world: he warns people of "the wrath to come" and criticises the corrupt authorities and those hoarding wealth and resources. He gets into some trouble with the authorities. All themes that either have or are about to become very pressing in John 1:20...

And then Jesus comes along to be baptised:

In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And when he came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:9-11)

After all his prophesying and calling people to repentence, John the Baptist does something very specific. And suddenly God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are all seen together. The gospel passages describing Jesus' baptism by John are some of the key texts that underpin the Christian theology of the Trinity.

The nun has watched John warn people of the doom to come, criticise those who ignore those warnings and value wealth and power. She has watched him perform miracles. And as the clock ticks closer, she is waiting for his moment.

Just as John the Baptist proclaimed the beginning of Jesus' ministry, his actions tearing the heavens open and revealing the truth of God, does the nun expect some climactic action from John to reveal God at the end of days? The book of Revelation too describes heaven as standing open and the figures of the Trinity in action as the end of the world begins.

The nun thought John was a prophet whose decisive action would herald this opening of heaven, the revelation of God, and the end of the world.

When John says she thought "we'd all be saved", that doesn't mean global warming would be fixed, everything would go back to normal, and John and the gang would get tenure and posters of their faces. It means they would all be Saved. The world would end and they, followers of the prophet of the apocalypse, would be amongst "the blessed and holy who share in the first resurrection. The second death has no power over them, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with him for a thousand years." (Rev 20:6)

This might be starting to sound familiar. Abigail Pent talks about the horrors of a second death. John describes how he picked a worthy few to resurrect and be his followers...

John, of course, was not a prophet. He did not crack open heaven and instantiate the Trinity. He did not usher in the Kingdom of God. He did fundamentally fuck up the boundaries of metaphysics, declare himself god, and then proceed to badly plagiarise the Book of Revelation.

Because what happens next in the Bible may again sound familiar... After that thousand year reign, the Devil is released from prison. There's a final battle. And then, there's the second resurrection:

The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. (Rev 20:13)

Waiting in death, in the sea or in the underworld until a second resurrection and judgement - where have we heard that before?

Magnus coughed in a genteel Fifth House way, and said, “Who wait for our Lord’s touch on the day of a second Resurrection.”

Although Abigail Pent suspects the metaphysical reality is rather different, this is the eschatology of the Houses: the world ended and the righteous dead were raised by god and they and their descendants live in his myriadic reign. And when that reign ends, he will raise the ancient dead who were not included in that first resurrection and those who wait in the River in a second Resurrection.

What happens after that? In the Bible, the world is destroyed and remade:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. (Rev 20:11)

We don't know what the Houses believe will happen at the second Resurrection. We don't know for sure what John is planning. But in light of Revelation, I do wonder about the poem at the start of NTN:

Let’s put this first-draft dream of mine to bed.

In the appointed hour

I’ll pull up your sheets. I’ll kill the light,

Lie down beside you; die; and sleep the night.

This time will be the time we get it right:

Forgiveness not so hard, nor anger long;

Our graves will be less deep, our lies less true.

You held aloft the sword. I still love y-

[sentientsky]

i am in your fuckign walls, alex. i’m gnawing on the floorboards. this poem is gonna live in my mind forever; get immortalized, loser. get fuckin cherished

i can't see myself in mirrors.

i see a face i know is mine, eyes as blue as theirs, a family history i will never be able to erase. i see a body i am trying to make my own, years of tear tracks i wish could have left scars, small arms wrapped around a smaller me.

for years, i avoided mirrors all together, desperately trying to escape the ghost of child my mother wanted, but she has been living and dying inside of me since the day i was born. not good enough, it whispers, and it is always midnight in my mind.

my ghosts do not get to rest and neither do i.

i wish i could see myself in mirrors.

my cheekbones, my lips, my hair, my clothes—everything my parents hate about me and more. i see a face i know is mine, but it's not a face, it would shatter if you dropped it. a mask welded to my face. a mask made of porcelain and pain. a mask formed by tiny, shaking hands and pressed against my skin until no one could take it away.

i don't know how to take it off. (i'm scared to see what hides beneath)

i wish i could. (it would crumble to dust. it'd be more me than me)

i don't know if i would. (i'm too scared it won't move.)

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

It was ironic how Remus and Lily were talking about broken hearts in that precise moment. They were commenting about a book. God knows what book, Remus didn't remember. He just remembered he was at peace. It was nice to be with Lily.

Their afternoon had flew by with homework and chats. Just when Remus was going to say goodbye, he remembered he had some book to borrow Lily. It was their thing. Their dynamic.

So he made her come up.

"Are you sure I should be here?"

It was adorable even how pale Lily looked. She took it outrageous to be inside the boys dorms. It was probably the first time she was breaking that rule.

"Plenty of girls are around all the time"

Lily gasped "I am a prefect! I should control that kind of stuff"

Damn. Remus didn't want others to blame him for ending the fun because Lily Evans did something like tell the teachers.

"It's alright, Lily" Remus almost laughed "Are you here to do something indecent with me?"

Lily went scarlett red. Remus giggled. She hit his arm.

"Remus, how dare you!" she snapped "We are friends, aren't we?"

Remus smiled "Exactly" he pointed out "Boys and girls can be friends, therefore it is not bad to come up to your friend's room, right?"

That made Lily shut up.

"True" she sighed "Although not every girl is here with the same innocent intention" and she raised her nose up defiantly.

Remus let her be. It was Lily's nature to be fan of the rules.

They reached to the top floor where his dorm was, and the second they walked through the hall, Remus heard some music. Even if Lily tutted under her breath, it was normal to hear music around.

"Want to wait outside, Lils, or is it scandalous to hang out with me for a while?" Remus scoffed as they reached to their door.

Lily pursed her lips.

"Your dumb friends?"

Remus shrugged. He had no idea where they were.

"Probably doing something stupid elsewhere"

Lily gestured to the door "The music comes from inside"

Remus frowned. It was true.

The Marauders weren't particularly music fanatics. They listened to whatever was on the radio. Until Remus came to fix that and became the official dj of the group indulging them with sweet classics from other times.

The music Remus heard at the moment was the definition of bad taste. It was pop girly music that spoke about filthy stuff and made Remus want to rip his ears off.

What was odd was something Lily verbalized.

"Is that a girl's giggle?"

"Probably Peter's girlfriend" he convinced himself.

Susan hated their dorm, though. She had often told them how awful the smell was and how she couldn't bare it. Peter spent time at her room instead. Plus, that silly giggle wasn't Susan's.

"Maybe we should come back another time" Remus said, backing up.

If Lily found one of his mates wanking to some giggling porn girl, she was going to have a flip.

But the red-haired girl was stubborn.

"Oh I want to catch your stupid friends red-handed"

To be fair, Remus tried to stop her but she was too fast. And for a second, Remus begged that the door was locked. It wasn't.

Remus took a deep breath in a matter of seconds.

What they found inside wasn't one of them wanking (thank god) but something worse. So so much worse. What Remus saw first was James sitting on the desk chair by the window, a blond girl on his lap, attacking his face like a feral animal.

What hurt him most was the scene on the other side of the room. Sirius kissing a brunette passionately. They were on his bed. Remus's bed. Not lying just sitting and fully clothed but ON HIS BED.

Remus's chest physically ached and he stopped breathing for a second. It hurt. It hurt so much to watch Sirius snogging other girls. Even as many as he snogged, Remus pretended to be deaf to the rumors and blind to the girls waving at him or pinning for him.

Jesus Christ! It had happened the same with Alecto last month. Remus felt like he wanted to puke.

I cannot fancy him this much. My childhood crush must be over. he told himself.

Good luck tryin' teh convince yerself of that, sweetheat. Grant answered as his conscious. It had been that way since he came to this school. Don' yer heart wan's to jump out of yer chest everytime he is around? Doesn' his smile make you scream like a girl inside? You worship the floor he steps in.

He's kissing her not me.

This lasted in a matter of seconds. In the meantime, Lily screamed in surprise. Covered her face, then uncovered ashamed to have covered it in the first place.

James pushed the girl on his lap to the floor, making her yell like a pig. Sirius and the brunette stopped kissing to look at Remus.

Looking into those gray guilty eyes made Remus want to cry. He had a knot on his throat. God, he was so beautiful with his lips swollen.

"It's not what you think, Evans!" James jumped towards Lily, pushing his glasses up. He seemed so embarrassed "I can explain"

Sirius, on the other hand, looked as chill as a Sunday afternoon. He just looked at Remus without expression. Remus didn't know if he wished he could read Sirius's mind.

"Save your excuses, Potter!" Lily raised her hand "I just saw you snogging..." she had a glance to the girl on the floor "Rebecca Johnson inside your dorm in a very indecent way"

That girl Rebecca, Remus had seen at class. He didn't even know her and name until now. She and her friend used to be nothing and no one to Remus.

"What do you care, honey?" Rebecca snapped as she raised to her feet quite indignated "You're not Jamie's girlfriend, are you?"

James flinched. Remus knew he hated when people called him Jamie.

Lily scoffed angrily "As if I were something of this... beast"

"Wait a second, Evans"

"You don't have decency, eh Potter? I am a prefect and it is not allowed to bring... pets..." she added looking at Rebecca and she gasped "or girls into the dorms"

"If it is not allowed, Evans. Then what are you doing here with Moony?"

Remus had tried to focus on James and Lily's quarrel not to look into Sirius's penetrating eyes anymore. So he was surprised to hear him speak.

He was barking like am angry dog. James's lapdog.

Lily pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

"Like I said I am a prefect, Black" she said "And prefects can be where ever they want supervising. PLUS! I don't have to give you explanations"

"Prefects are included in the rules, Evans" James chanted. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You are not ratting us out, right Lily?"

It was Sirius's girl that spoke. Ouch, no. Bad mistake to call her that.

She was beautiful, Remus noticed. Chocolate skin like James's. Long dark hair, same dark eyes and shy freckles on her nose. She was naturally pretty not like Rebecca with all her makeup and pink clothes.

"Of course not, Valerie" James smirked nervously "Evans is cool, right?"

Valerie. Even her name was pretty.

Lily twisted her mouth. She seemed annoyed.

"Plus," Sirius added putting an arm around Valerie, which made Remus's knot stronger "Bet that Evans gets into Gardener's dorm just the same"

Sirius laughed but he didn't notice how Lily blushed and James looked hurt. Lily had gone to several dates with Luke Gardener. But everytime Remus asked, Lily didn't say much about him. "He's nice". That was all. Remus knew well Lily was forcing herself to like him. She wanted that epic romance from fairytales. A prince charming. Luke wasn't that.

James could be her prince. Although he acted like a beast sometimes with her. He needed to show his true colors.

"Shut up, Sirius!" Remus spoke for the first time. He sounded pissed. Everyone was surprised. "Not everyone is like you" Sirius was the most surprised. No, he was pissed "And get out of my bed!"

Valerie jumped out of bed in an instance, ashamed. Remus didn't want to feel sorry for her.

"Maybe we should go, Becky"

"What, just because Penny Prefect Evans arrived?" Rebecca whined, as she squeezed James's arm.

"Stupid wh..."

Lily would have said something awful if Remus didn't stop her.

"Yeah! Maybe Penny Prefect Evans will forgive you if you leave now" she added.

Nobody moved.

"NOW!"

Even Remus jumped in surprise. The two whores (girls, girls) grabbed each other's hands as they left. Valerie smiled at Sirius hopefully. The latter didn't respond. He was looking at Remus still. Rebecca was expecting for James to say something or begged her to stay. James was only looking at Lily with love.

The second the door was closed behind them, there was an unbearable silence between the four of them.

Sirius was still looking at Remus. Remus glared at him as well. They were having a mental fight or something. Remus didn't know.

Yeh luv him darlin'. yeh want to run into his arms and show'im you can kiss him better. Leave'im speechless and breathless.

Fuck Sirius for being so beautiful.

Of course, James broke the silence.

"How funny, isn't it?" James snorted "We invited the girls for homework and..."

"Homework, ha!" Lily snapped.

"It's true! And then something got stuck on my throat, and Rebecca..."

"Was trying to take it out with her tongue?" Lily spat "How generous of her!"

James grinned "What is it, Evans? Are you jealous or something?"

Lily scoffed. She laughed. She blushed. Then she scoffed a couple of times more.

"As if, Potter. As if! I couldn't care less" she said "Not that it is any of your business but things are going great with Luke. Amazing, I might say"

"Brilliant!" James clenched his teeth "Why don't you go snog your precious boyfriend, then?"

"Luke is not my boyfriend" Lily said under her breath.

"What?"

"I said maybe I will!" Lily snapped "Because if you go around snogging multiple girls like a freaking arsehole, then maybe I will do the same!"

"I don't snog multiple girls, just Becky"

"Becky!!" Lily mocked.

"You want to snog multiple boys?"

"What if I do?"

"Sounds great!" James smirked "Want to start with me? I'm glad to do the honors"

Lily scoffed "You are... God!"

"What, Evans?"

"I would tell you but I will have to wash my mouth after telling you what you are! So I won't tell you because I don't want to get my mouth dirty with what you are"

"Want to get your mouth dirty, eh?" James teased.

Lily gasped "YOU STUP..."

"SHUT UP!!" Remus yelled "FUCKING HELL SHUT UP!"

Remus's head started hurting at the middle of the quarrel. He was angry. He was irritated. At least James showed his feelings for Lily. It wasn't the best way, obviously. But at least it was a bit evident he was dying to get her attention.

Not Sirius.

Besides his intense and confused gaze on Remus, the rest was indifference. He was calmed because he didn't owe Remus anything. They were just friends.

Remus needed him like air. He loved him more than anyone in the world. But he was just a friend for him.

"No offense, Lils" Remus added "But can you leave? I have a terrible headache"

Lily seemed taken aback.

"Alright, Remus" she smiled sadly.

Remus felt guilty.

"I'm sorry. I will give you the book tomorrow" he smiled as well.

Lily smiled wider. Then when her eyes set on James it disappeared. She fumed him with her eyes for a second.

Then turned on her heels and flet as fast as she could.

James wanted to run after her.

"Prongs!" Sirius warned.

James hesitated.

"I..." he looked at the door "Just a second, Pads!"

James ran after her anyway, screaming "Evans, wait!". Sirius let out a groan. Remus hated him. Or at least wanted to hate him.

Remus walked towards him. He crossed his arms.

"Get out of my bed, please"

"Moony..."

"OUT!"

Sirius sighed and got up. Remus moved the pillows and fixed the cover and sheets. He wanted to burn everything. But it was school property.

"Don't be angry" Sirius said "Promise we didn't do anything more than snog"

"You could have done it on your own bed"

Remus sat down angrily and he hated that the bed felt warm under him. He picked the book on his night stand. He wanted to smoke, He picked the pack from his pocket.

"Prongs was using that side with Becca"

Remus didn't answer. He lit his cigarette.

"I was just helping him get over Evans" Sirius carried on, taking the seat next to Remus's bed "Val said Rebecca had fancied him for ages"

"Who were you trying to get over then?" Remus asked under his breath.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Yeh want him to say you, innit?

"What?" Sirius asked instead. He swallowed.

"Prongs was trying to forget about Lily by kissing Rebecca" Remus explained "Then why were you snogging Valerie?"

Sirius was caught up by the question. He shurgged.

"Just happened" he said "She's Rebecca's best friend"

Remus nodded "Best friends with best friends"

Sirius looked at him unsure.

"I can sense that you're angry"

Remus was smelling Valerie's perfume and he wanted to really puke this time. He got out of bed as fast as he could.

"Next time you snog someone don't do it on my bed"

Sirius pouted "Sorry"

Remus walked to the loo. Cigarette still in hand.

James would probably kill him later because of the smell inside the loo. But Remus couldn't be there anymore.

"Hey, can I have one?" Sirius asked, gesturing at the fag on Remus's fingers.

"No" Remus answered before closing the door.

He leaned his forehead on the door and closed his eyes. He felt his eyes burning with tears. Knot on throat so strong it was painful to swallow. He was so pathetic.

Remus was bonkers to still believe something could happen between him and Sirius.

He was also bonkers to imagine Grant standing next to him.

"Please don't mock me"

"I'd never do that, luv"

"Help me forget about him"

He imagined Grant smiling next to him. If James was trying with Lily. Maybe Remus should try as well.

"You'll be alrigh, sweetheart" Grant said as he rubbed his back "You'll be alrigh"

[rainbows-r-nice05]

Frozen Camera

I watched Rise of the Guardians and fell in love with Jack Frost because he is my baby. Anyway here is something I just whipped up and I know it's bad but I needed to so it to ease my mind.

I hate studying, I really do. My mind tries to focus but it drifts into dreamland. Dreaming of the impossible. Fighting dragons, ruling a kingdom….....finding true love. But enough about that. To relax a little, I decided to go read a book outside. Since it was Christmas time, I picked up the story about all the different kinds of Christmas characters. It was night time so I made sure to bring some blankets out. As I stepped outside on my back porch, coldness engulfed me. My porch was spacious with lawn chairs and a brick pillar on the side that leads into the grass. Oh, how beautiful it was. Christmas lights dance around my neighbors backyards across the lake connecting them. Lights from blue and white to red and green. The fountain was still going as the wind danced through it. I sat down in order to enjoy reading a bit into my novel. This section was about the famous Jack Frost to whom I believed in when I was a little kid. But not anymore since I am a junior in high school.   About 10 mins into my book, I absentmindedly start singing a famous Christmas Carol.  

God rest ye merry gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay

Remember Christ our Savior

Was born on Christmas Day

I heard distant barking of dogs nearby which was normal. And the rustle of plants that were caused by the wind.  

To save us all from Satan's pow'r

When we were gone astray

Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joyI

Oh tidings of comfort and joy

All of a sudden, my ears perk up at this crinkle or a sound of frost covering something. Like a tingling sound of some sort. I looked around and saw one of my security cameras had frost covering the lens. 

“That's weird,” I muttered to myself as I stood up, set my book down and walked toward the camera. Over the lens it looked blueish with little snowflakes covering it. My curiosity got the best of me so I decided to go inside and get a ladder. (The camera was on the ceiling). I got the ladder from the garage and walked back outside. I opened it and climbed all the way to the top. I looked closely at the camera and scratched the frost off of it. Somehow, the frost just would not come off. 

“OH GOS-,” suddenly I lost my balance and was headed toward the ground. 

“Gotcha,” I was caught by someone who was levitating off of the ground and wrapped my arms around this persons neck. It seemed to be a boy around my age who had piercing blue eyes and platinum blond hair. His skin was pale white and freezing for that matter. His dazzling white teeth showed as he smiled lovingly at me. My goodness was he handsome.  

“Woah…” I was too starstruck to even comprehend what was happening. 

“Lost your balance, there sweetheart,” the mysterious man said.

“You-your-you…” 

“Jack Frost is the name,” he said as he lowered me to the ground. 

“Oh my goodness.. It's really you,”

“Of course it's me, alive and in person.” His smile…. Is so…..loving. I finally got a good look at him and he was wearing a blue hoodie with some light brown pants. He was indeed barefoot as he was Jack Frost.  

Oh my gosh.  OH MY GOSH The Jack Frost in front of ME!!!

“And what might your name be pretty girl,” 

Pretty girl…. I flushed deeply at that. I smiled sheepishly as I introduced myself. 

“(Y/N) (L/N) at your service,” as I extended my hand out for him to shake. 

He shook it softly and his hands were beyond freezing. 

“Wait, what are you doing here?” I was so puzzled as to why he was here. It was December right, but it does not even snow over here. 

“Oh.. Well…” he walked around with his staff tapping the bird bath with it and it froze solid. 

“I got quite bored while I was patrolling so I decided to fly across a random area where I found a beautiful singing voice in this very backyard.”

As if I could ever be more redder, my face would be a tomato. 

“What were you doing out here,” he said as he pointed his staff at me. 

I gently pushed his staff out of my face and raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, It is my backyard” I started to walk around him. 

“But if you want to know, I was reading a book.”

“Oh… interesting” 

“Y’know, you have a very nice backyard,” he stated as he walked around and faced the lake. 

“And a very nice show you get to watch.” 

I giggled lightly at that. 

“Oh yes, Christmas is the best time of the year when I get to sit outside in the cold and light a fire. I see all the Christmas lights in their glory.” I smiled at last night's occurrence which was just like how I described. 

“Well, isn’t that nice,” he said as he gazed at me. 

All of a sudden I hear this ringing noise that sounds jolly. Jack takes a small device out of his hand and looks very disappointed. He verbally groans. 

“Wish I could stay, but Santa needs me.”

“You mean North,” I say out of the blue

“Wait how do you-” 

“Jack,” I giggle a little, 

“Might want to go see him” I say as I step in front of him pointing at the device smiling. 

He smiles as he is about to fly away. 

“Wait!” I put a hand up signaling him to not go yet. 

“Will I ever see you again?” 

“I’ll make sure I will see you again, snowflake.” He says as he takes my hand and kisses it with his cold yet soft lips. 

I smile and yet again, I flush at the nickname. 

He then flies away and I am left alone outside. I walk back to the camera and see that the frost has disappeared. I smile as I walk back inside. I gaze back out across the lake where I think of the many events that Jack Frost will show me. 

thinking on a part two maybe or a milti series thing idk yet lol

I have to get back to studying though

[schizoprophet]

It is not a secret about me that one of the things I like to do is read stories in the Bible and get sad about it. That's like, that's been a pastime of mine since I was a child. Let me find the story that really makes me feel sad for the person in the story who I can't help because one, they've been dead for years if they ever existed in the first place. And two, if you're reading a story to try and help the people in the story, then you have approached the whole thing from the wrong end. Because you can't, that's the thing you cannot really do except to choose your own adventure books. And the Bible is not one of those. So one of the best stories to read if you like to read the Bible and make yourself feel sad for the people in it is the story of The Last Supper. Jesus Christ gets a bunch of his friends together, right? And then let's take the Jesus part off just as a person. You get a bunch of your friends together, right? And you have dinner, this big old dinner, you know, some bread and whatever, some wine and it's cool to be with your friends. It's fun, it's a good feeling, you know. And then you just get a vibe, there's a very, very, very specific vibe that you get. Right. And these are your friends so you can speak your mind around them. You can tell them how you feel and you say, you know, one of you is gonna sell me out. I just know it. You've - you've had some wine at this point. So you know, you can say that. Your friends will not judge you for speaking what's in your heart at this moment, and some of them are also, they've had a couple of glasses of wine themselves. They immediately go God, no, you are my friend. I would never, I would never, man. I want you to know person to person tonight. I will never sell you out. You, we've meant a lot to each other over the past couple of years and I will not sell you out man. And Jesus is like, OK, it's all good, you know, and they all do this. And one of 'em doesn't say shit. And he knows and he knows they both know and the one who's gonna do it feels worse than the one who's gonna suffer for it. Because he sort of knows I'm gonna do this thing. I guess I am. I don't want to. These are my friends, they're all gonna hate me. And in one version of the four gospels, Judas, uh, having sold Christ out, who normally then gets arrested and murdered by the state. Right? Um, in one version of the gospel Judas immediately goes and hangs himself. I've always - when I was a child I was like, oh, man. I mean, I understand that it'd probably be a tough one to live down in Jerusalem if you're the guy who killed Jesus. But, I mean, you know, that seems like kind of an extreme. This song is called cry for Judas.

-- John Darnielle about Cry for Judas, Tivoli de Helling on 2019-11-14

[nightpool]

things i liked about severance:

the premise

the hets, all 3 hets were very sweet and cute

also poly rights !!!

helly <3 my friend helly <3. NEVER give up on killing yourself.

dylan you are so smart and your meat is so huge

loved the goats

how awful outie mark was and his goofy YA protag plot

okay actually idk if i liked this one as much as some of the other ones some of it was kinda hit or miss but

OUTIE IRV. I WANNA SEE MORE OUTIE IRV FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON THERE.

ms cobel's whole Deal really snuck up on me but i really loved her by the end, incredible performance from an outstanding actor

similarly i was very surprised by (end of s1) jurer gurl raqrq hc tbvat jvgu zf pnfrlf jubyr qrny naq v gubhtug gung jnf trahvaryl ernyyl fzneg naq ratntvat gryrivfvba gur jnl gurl cnprq gung bhg

THE YOU YOU ARE. kill ricken and wear his skin but this book was fun it endeared me to him a lot.

the fucking. waffle party. jesus christ. jesus christ!!!! jesus motherfucking christ. truly lost my mind at that one.

things i did not like about severance:

CALIFORNIA. PLEASE. STOP SETTING SHOWS IN CALIFORNIA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

SUB BULLET, PATTON, THE MOST CALIFORNIA OF ALL CALIFORNIA CHARACTERS AND THE ONE I AM GOING TO EXPLODE WITH MY MIND. genuinely the patton stuff is ep1 was some of the worst moments of the show for me i truly almost gave up right there

some of the sci fi technology was just too stupid for me to believe at times. code scanners?? fucking code scanners???? oh, so do their SWEATERS set of the code scanners now? what about the fucking KEYCARDS? what about their DNA, JACKASS. just make them do strip searches and millimeter wave scans like normal people for the love of GOD

gay people (derogatory). i'm sorry irv even before you became gay people i didn't like you and i hated you being gay people even more. i think it's cool how much you like art though that was fun.

[mostly-magical-polls]

"IRL magical girl" is such a dumb way to phrase "I see magical girls as role models and also I'm pagan". One statement is the kind of thing you hear from a terminally online person who will flunk out of university and live on their friend's couch for the rest of their lives. One statement is, while childish in the first half, fairly normal and a thing you'll outgrow when you become an adult mentally.

But no, you're not an IRL magical girl. Because all of those protagonists are already nice prior to getting magic, meaning magic is unrelated to the qualities in them you're idealizing. (Why you're idealizing fictional characters instead of actual women, I don't know, but hey, anything's better than giving real women credit for anything they've ever done, amirite?)

You're just a girl. There's nothing ~*~magical~*~ about being nice. It's just standard. You're like dudes who brag about how they're "such a nice guy" for not throwing a fit when McDonalds runs out of chicken nuggets. Yes, that's a good thing, but it's not ~*~magical~*~.

Gen Z kids will do anything and everything in order to avoid accepting that it's okay to be normal. And it's just sad. Jesus Christ, woman, you're old enough to drive. It's time to stop going, "I wanna be like the cartoons! I'm magical IRL uwu!" and start looking at your life and going, "these very real things I have done in the real world are what I will get my self-worth from. It doesn't have to be like my cartoon #girlgoals in order to be good, because I can validate myself without measuring myself against some silly drawings aimed at children."

I am begging you to get some self-worth that's reality-based instead of going, "What would Usagi do?" like a kindergartener. It is literally impossible that "I acted like Sakura-san!" is the most you have to be proud of.

Also read a book. And not one aimed at kids. No picture books. I am begging you to expand your media diet to at least things aimed at teenagers. You're not a lost cause yet. Don't give up and retreat into wittle bitty kiddie stuff uwu. You're an adult. You're not a magical girl. You're a woman who's only mildly delusional and in 2025 that should, in and of itself, give you something to be proud of, given the degree of delusion most people operate at online these days.

God. I just get so sad looking at you. Imagine if you'd stayed in contact with reality. Imagine the woman you could've been, instead of the helpless girl you ended up as. Imagine the things you could do if you had real women as role models instead of fictional children.

There's so much lost potential, here. You could've been something good. And you're choosing to be something self-aggrandizing and detached from reality instead.

I really hope you turn it around. This way you are now is truly a tragic example of how too much time staring at screens can eat away at someone's self-perception until they no longer know how to exist outside the context of fiction. Your parents failed you. Your school system failed you. Society failed you, honestly. And that's so sad. You may never be the adult you could be. You may live your entire life as an insecure child trapped in an adult's body.

It's avoidable. But it's up to you. I can't make you live your life instead of wasting it.

why do all of these people act like im personally stabbing them in the back because i like identifying with the label "magical girl". i dont understand why everyone is being so cruel to me.

[lotstradamus]

Hello, I had not used tumblr in a long time and I cannot tell you how pleased I am to return to find you obsessed with the Vampire Chroncles and Anne Rice's bullshit (affectionate). Please tell me more, I wanna know all your thoughts: what did you think about Armand's book, how about uncle Julien huh, also also did you read A Cry to Heaven...aaaaah I can feel my life being taken over by Anne again just like when I was 14 wtf

WELCOME BACK. I AM STILL HERE AND UNHINGED

I saved this to answer once I read Cry to Heaven and then I forgot, naturally! so here are my thoughts:

I was completely normal and fine about The Vampire Armand. highlights: 1) when he hacked his way into Marius's bedroom with an axe, 2) when he got so drunk he fell in the Grand Canal, and 3) when he lay down with Lestat's unconscious body and drank his blood, which in MY humble opinion was the most erotic moment in the books hands down. the This Better Not Awaken Anything In Me final boss.

(also this review ended up being provably false, as I immediately read Merrick which seemed like it was gonna be interesting and ended up just being weird and pointless, and then dragged myself through Blood and Gold which was BORINGGGG (my fault for reading all the books in like 2 years, instead of 20 like Anne intended).)

oh Uncle Julian...................... it's impossible to talk about SO MANY CHARACTERS in the Lives of the Mayfair Witches books without talking about Anne Rice's Weird Thing About Children Having Sex With Adults. as normal human people reading these books we obviously want to condemn every man who touches a child, but Anne Rice isn't writing them as pedophiles to make us dislike them; she genuinely just doesn't think there's anything wrong with it. it's so strange. Uncle Julian, Michael Curry, and David Talbot (pre-vampirism) all spring to mind as leads - if not heroes! Michael is named after her grandmother's family! - of her books who are attracted and sleep with to pre-teen and teen girls (and sometimes boys).

so saying that, I try to judge the characters without that aspect of them factored in, cos Anne CLEARLY views it as a neutral (and sometimes positive!!!) action. I erase every instance or mention of it from my mind ASAP so I can read these books and continue to be sane. 'Anne Rice's bullshit (affectionate)' is so accurate.

so OTHER THAN THE FACT HE HAS SEX WITH CHILDREN, I fucking LOVE Uncle Julian. I need - NEED - his ghost to meet Lestat at some point. the drama in Lasher when you find out that Julian is ALSO sleeping with Lasher and then starts secretly working against him... diva. icon. the moment. etc. he's not my favourite Mayfair but it's a close race.

as for Cry to Heaven: AAAUUUGGGGHHHGHGHGHGHH. changed me. stunning. beautiful. breathtaking. I immediately looked up the price of flights to Naples. I keep bringing up facts about castration to confused people in my life. I listened to the recording of Alessandro Moreschi singing in 1902 and cried. certified 5 star banger. after reading Merrick (bad) and Lasher (worse), this book redeemed Anne Rice for me.

next up I have copies of Blackwood Farm, Christ the Lord and The Feast of All Saints; just trying to decide what vibe I'm in the mood for. other than 'Anne'. the vibe is ALWAYS Anne.