#but ANYWAYS. did any of u read this. its 5 am as I'm writing it. can u tell. can u hear my heart beat for u. i love you.

[martyrbat]

detective comics #464

[ID: ‘The fog rolls in over Gotham City, covering the towen with a fine rain, driving most of the city's inhabitants indoors... All the inhabitants, that is, but a select few...’ A sex worker stands alone underneath a street light. She's smoking a cigarette when a voice calls out to her, “Do you have a few minutes to talk, Maria?” She spins around with fright! Shouting who's there before fliching back! The voice reveals itself to belong to Batman! He quickly apologizes, “Sorry Maria! I didn't mean to frighten you – but I've got to ask some questions! You girls on the street learn things the police can't – and it's just possible you've learned something about the character calling himself Black Spider!” She refuses! She tells him, “Uh-huh! And if I tell you, friend, I'll be dead inside an hour! No thanks... keep me out of this! My life may mot be much... but it's all I've got!”

Batman convinces her, telling her how Black Spider has already killed and he must know to prevent another murder! Maria stares at him before she tells him what she knows. Batman says, “One more question – Black Spider isn't finished! Give me a name – a place – anything to tell me where he'll strike next!” Maria promises, “If I hear anything, friend – I'll let you know!” Later, Batman receives a phone call from her that tips him off on where to stop Black Spider! END ID]

[lilac-den]

ALSO EXCUSE ME??? TSR??? How can you write barely a prologue and chapter one and get. me. so. emotional already?! (affectionate)

like, wow. wow. wow. the amount of angst already, by the end of ch1 I felt so much for MC, I had to take some time after finishing it. breathe in, then out, drink some water. (maybe wine) it was too good. and all the possible angst in future? I'm all giddy just thinking about it!

not gonna lie, there's like... two wolves fighting inside of me.

one wants to see ROs get their memories back. because the angst? the angst would be soo good. from ranges of MCs oh! they remember me! to I'm so sorry you have to remember all of that!, ROs realising why MC reacted the way they did in the beginning and then all other things that could come up with remembering.

and then there's the other wolf, the one that wishes ROs never remember their past lives. because what happened was too much. they're all my little blorbos and I refuse any more harm done their way. they deserve happiness and happiness only! (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)

anyway, I won't ask which way you want to go with the story, no need to fish for spoilers, right? either way, I know it'll be good and I cannot wait for future chapters!

just kidding, take your time, get breaks, drink some water, I'll sit down and patiently wait for future updates on both stories. and thank you so much for writing them! <3

(I am curious about one thing tho: will the MC have time to properly mourn their past lives (and deaths)? because with all that revenge and dying thing going on it's hard for me to believe MC had time to mourn in their past life. and it's hard for me to imagine them starting anything with current!RO while still seeing ghosts of the past...)

I think it's from the fact I love writing angsts - which SK doesn't have (at its early stage)

But holy shit - pls, do hydrate yourself XD MAINLY WITH WATER, NOT WINE LOL But yes, there's more angsts to come - especially since I'm planning to add bits of MC's flashback from back in their world ;u;

I love how you refer two wolves fighting in you XD But yep - sounds like a dilemma that MC will have in the future as well. Maybe interacting with the gang a bit more would help you come to a conclusion with your inner fight over this (or make it even more painful - of which case I'm sorry XD)

Your excitement is a good bait, I will admit that XD Thank you for the support and the asks you've been sending - I'm really happy to read them and the in-depth thoughts you have about my IFs 💜

(And to answer this part: MC did have time to mourn...Properly is a bit of a hard word to describe though because MC, even after 5 years, still have troubles accepting their deaths. The ghosts of the past are mainly MC's trauma and hallucinations, just desperately trying to see them alive and breathing.

But given how Chapter 1 has ended, MC won't be having any hallucinations anymore. While they can be in disbelief of the gang being alive, they know in their very soul that the ROs are very much alive - even more so after a scene MC will have with Syl once she learns of MC passing out :x)

[sunhlland]

This blog write all right. Idk how all his project outside mcu all get one way or another does bad or it's streaming numbers or box office. Idk hod it'd happened like probability so small,like we don't know it'd his team or it's him not knowing what hd doing. Did someone reading scripts alongside him to give advice? If u think about its somehow coming it's always something bad storytellers,pace,bad challengers development or something else?now he have bad reputation in Hollywood or big ppl not take him seriously. Plus mcu actors nowadays it's like swimming against stream,u like need proof to everyone and add some,all should be ideal and only then they will let go of his neck. I'm kinda sad for Tom. But on another dude he said himself that he don't wanna be actor 😔 like if it's not u passion why u forcing it dude idk working through pressing on urself. Idk idk like I stop expect anything, I wouldn't surprise if he retire after spiderman. Tom a man of unrealized potential

Ok.

First, when did Tom say he doesn't want to be an actor? Do you think that if it were like that he would continue trying and working on it? I think he has just been unlucky, remember most of his movies were released in the Covid19 season. Chaos Walking, for example (poorly executed, definitely, but would have done well at the box office if not for...zero promotion and covid).

Tom was very young when he started taking on a lot of unscripted projects. and I read somewhere that he wasn't sure about playing Cherry but the Russos convinced him (they bribed him lol, I'd say ) and since he feels he owes them part of his career, he said yes... The Russos have a name there out and (Advenger is a success to this day although it hurts those who hate the MCU) but it turns out that the direction of these men was bad in cherry. Now his performance, his acting skills (if you read the reviews) has always been praised... even today. (there is an agenda against him for being part of Marvel duh)

The common people love him, praise him... and even on Twitter they always defend him with..."the broh needs a better agent" "he always chooses bad projects" etc... they know he's a good actor. Those who say it's a flop...who are they? some Z fans who hate him bcuz he dates her and are jealous. Fans of other actors who for some reason feel threatened by Tom.... (and why do you think that is?😌) some idiots who think they're cinephiles and believe that hating everything that has to do with marvel makes them intellectual...🤪 ? LMAO.

You say marvel flop too? huh that will never be the case with Spider-Man, don't worry...Tom is not just any Marvel actor...he plays the most beloved character of all superheroes and the most famous. And people love it... 🤭

To this day his most watched movie outside of the MCU is TDATT, and most people always praise Tom's performance. And it's the most viewed bcuz it's from Netflix. If TCR .....

None of my friends have Apple TV and even I had to pay for 2 months of that horrible app just for him.. when I recommend the series... no one has Apple TV... I hate apple tv...Anyway.

I give you some advice, if you have such a poor perception of him, I think there are more actors out there for you to follow.

Tom is 27 years old...not 40. There are actors who were recognized just last year with 5 years older than Tom...and I am not going to mention names...🤐🤓

xo🤗

[emlovesstates]

California: Oklahoma, what do you call people you go out with but don’t try to sleep with?

Oklahoma: ...People?

----/-----

Oklahoma: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message.

California: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.

-----

Oklahoma: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

California: Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Oklahoma: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

California: You forgot pride.

Oklahoma: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

---

Oklahoma: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

California: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

-----

Oklahoma: Bro, I had a dream we fucked.

California: Bro, relax it was just a dream.

Oklahoma: Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you.

California: You wouldn’t?

Oklahoma: I mean, unless you want to-

------

Oklahoma: What’s sexting?

California: I'm not having this conversation with you.

---

California: Know why I called you in here?

Oklahoma: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

California: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

-----

Oklahoma: Look, last night was a mistake.

California: A sexy mistake.

Oklahoma: No, just a regular mistake.

------

Oklahoma: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

California: Nope, there's 26.

Oklahoma: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

California: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Oklahoma: You'll get the D later ;).

-

Oklahoma, turning to California: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

---

Oklahoma: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

California: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves,

------

California: New York , you'll be working with Georgia and Oklahoma.

New York : Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

New York : ...Of people on a team.

------

New York , writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

New York : THERE. Now send it.

Oklahoma:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

New York : JUST DO IT!

later

California: So what does it say?

Georgia , reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

California:

Georgia :

California: Gross-

----

Oklahoma: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Georgia : Milfs.

New York : Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Oklahoma: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

California: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

California: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

New York : Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Oklahoma: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Oklahoma: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

California: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Georgia : What? No! It isn't!

California: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

New York : California...

California: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

New York : I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

California: OKLAHOMA, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Oklahoma: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Georgia : THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

New York : Y'all are dumbasses.

-----

Oklahoma: So anyways have y'all seen New York ?

California: I think they went in Georgia 's room 'studying'.

Florida : Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Georgia 's room*

New York & Georgia , fighting:

-------

California: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

Florida : Elephants.

California: Blocked.

New York : Camels.

California: Extra blocked.

Georgia : Donkeys.

California: Ultra blocked.

Oklahoma: That dick.

California: ...Followed.

Or

Georgia : Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

California: Elephants.

Georgia : Blocked.

Florida : Camels.

Georgia : Extra blocked.

Oklahoma: Donkeys.

Georgia : Ultra blocked.

New York : That dick.

Georgia : ...Followed.

----

California: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

New York : Sex.

Oklahoma: Seriously, answer faster.

New York : I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Oklahoma: It’s like a giant hug.

California: Georgia , what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Georgia : Food.

California: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Georgia : Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Florida : What about you Louisiana? What would you give up sex or food?

Louisiana: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Florida : No, you gotta pick one.

Louisiana: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

---

Cali : Florida kissed me!

New York : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Cali : It was unbelievable!

New York : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Louisiana: Okay, we wanna hear everything. New York , get the wine and unplug the phone. Cali , does this end well or do we need tissues?

Cali : Oh, it ended very well.

New York : Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Louisiana: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Cali : Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Louisiana: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?

Cali : First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

New York and Louisiana: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Florida eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Gov : Tongue?

Florida: Yeah.

Texas: Cool.

------

New York: Where's Oklahoma, California, and Georgia?

undefined: They're playing hide and seek.

New York: Where?

New Jersey: I don't think you get how this game works.

[thekuraning]

Fic ask

4, 13, 20!

HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.

Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.

its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.

anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.

also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided

i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters

i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end

13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for

so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.

ahem.

im normal now.

anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.

You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.

You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)

anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.

don't be like farla.

edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.

[wanderingpages]

Noooo chapter 5😪😪😪😪 we’re coming to a close, fellas. I cannot… and yet. I can. We move forward my sisters in god

Oh…not him spending winter break with her…in the same house… as their parents…with all this…tension…. (Ive seen this [adult] movie before)

Aww he holds the door open for her… helps her take off her socks…walks her to class/.., it really is the little things. His actions… Peach said show dont tell 😮‍💨❤️

Not Cardan being fluent enough in french to have La Chute in its original publishing bye thats so hot of him and dare i say,..timothee chalamet core…. @iknowitwontwork wya (This is rockstar anon btw i am on medication (dont worry abt it peach this a little inside comradery bby)) anyways have i mentioned you write and its like a movie?

““Is it your favorite?” I ask. I wiggle my brows, “Do you think you, too, have fallen from grace?”” – first, not babygirl being versed in Camus 😛 secondly, ohhohoo i love all the biblical references 

“His smile is Cheshire in response, “Since the day I met you, little sister.”” - u know what…. At least he honest, like its really now hitting me that hes soooooooo honest about it. Playing  a little game as jude said when he was leaving her dorm after the party… like its a game but an honest one. Like am i crazy or is he just trying to see how far he can provoke her w their situation and honesty? 

Omg wait not him CLOCKING HER the very next paragraph  (By the way i feel like u should know, i have the chapter open on one half of my split screen and the other half is your ask box lol i am literally typing as i go like this is the wattpad comments section fr)

i feel so smart and validated that cardan literally says all of that ^^^ like wow i should have held my tongue (fingers) and read the next paragraph lmao

ALSO BAD THING SBY CULT DIDNT I LITERALLY SAY SHE KNOWS DOT MP3 BEFORE???? 

I like that his jewelry comes up frequently because its part of him, just like her knuckles come up cus its part of her fr like both of them are so natural abt it too like her playing w his chain and him rubbing her fingers like ugjhhfh SHOW DONT TELL IS SO IMPORTANT

Whoaaa not him clocking ASHA now!! Not jude saying her mamma dead or alive she dont really care, RESPECT 

Wait not him pulling up to the gas station to get a first aid kit….like he really doesnt say a word about it at allllllll

And jude said oh, more time alone with him? In a diner? Count me in ❤️

Oh shit cardan has moneeeyyyyyy – “I guess, there really is a lot about him I had no idea of. “I'm an honorary member,” he shrugs, “It’s kind of hard not to be when Daddy funds their lifestyle.”” purrrrr

Oop!!! “ “Ghost is my best friend. It would have been a fight had it been Locke or anyone else,” he divulges, and though I shouldn't be startled by his honesty, it still makes me feel a little too warm. Then he admits, maybe selfishly considering his track record for the past few weeks, “If he had gone further, I would have buried him.”” HELLO

Lol jude got some balls to say ““That's a visceral reaction,” I come to terms with. “Your best friend?” I blush when I remind him quietly, “you’re the one who told me to open my mouth.”” cus like she right tho

Ahhh! I squeaked ! ““Plus, I think you look cute with a dick in your mouth.””

When hes a feminist 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 – ““What makes you think you have any right over my body?” / “I know I don't.””

Hold on hold on hold on wait a minut wait a minute hold on, when did cardan transition from little sister/dear sister to baby? It happened so naturally how am i this far in and catching it???? I love him

Lol jude said fuck condoms we fucking raw or not fucking at allll 😤😤😤😤 

“After a while, I notice him staring. “Do you want some of my pie,” I offer. / “Is that a euphemism?” / [..]“Do you want it to be?”” – yes, i do, i wsnt it.

““What's the pipeline between mommy issues and wanting to bend your sister over the bathroom sink?” “ - HELP ME?! – ““Stepsister,” I tell him.” – emphasis on step fr okayyyyyyyyyyy 

““It makes no difference to me, Jude. Sister or not, I’d want you the same way I wanted you then, the same way I want you now.” ” - wait why is there butterflies in my tummy 🫣🥺

““I want you to copy me,” he says, huskily, startling me, my eyes growing wide. “I want you to stick your fingers in your panties and do what I do.” ” - PEACH…the gasp i gasped ….  !!!! PEACH

IN THE DINER!?

IN FRONT - ACTUALLY !! ACTUALLY IN FRONT OF MY SALA D IN THE DINER?! .. do continue 

““I think…I want to do to you what Spring does to cherry trees,” he murmurs. “Open you up…watch you bloom.” ” – DO NOT BE QUOTING PROFOUND POETRY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE. 

His fingers in her mouth jus - 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶PUT MY FINGER IN UR MOUTH CUS U LOVE THE TASTE 

“He pulls out of my mouth, a trail of spit losing connection when he finds his way under the jacket, following my hand, and adding his finger to my two. I whimper at his intrusion, and think, disoriented, three. Three fingers.” – no fuc me for real PEACH PEACHERLY ANNE POSSIBLE i dont care that its dirty as hell this shit is poetic

NO NOT THE WAITRESS !!! NOT HIMS STILL GOING TOOO AHH PEACH

My heart racing rn 

Oh god.. The soft forehead kiss…like he didnt just rock her world in a booth in the diner… im literally and figuratively unwell

“He kisses me sweetly when we get to his car, and I kiss him back, because we can, for right now. ” – why did this hurt?!

AND ALL THIS TIME HE DIDNT EVEN LIKE CHERRIES

Not is it out of your system!!!! Twk ate w that fade to black fr tho

““Cherries?” / “Me,”” - STOP hes so fucking cute 

Okay this might be the longest ask yet 💀 my sisters in god is sending me💀

I think in any fic I’ve ever written, cardan is always holding doors for her lol

Not timothee chalamet core 😭😭😭 @iknowitwontwork ur friend is here, come get her ❤️

lol that is a nice piece of info to be made aware of 💀 I was lowkey wondering if you were switching through tabs lmao meanwhile I’m scrolling up and down trying to respond 💀 lol it would be soooo much h easier if this was the Wattpad comments section. Like they ate w that…that one little thing. They ate.

You did mention the song!

I really do try so hard to show not tell cus I hatttteee reading tell not show in books😭 like don’t tell me he loves her, show me!!! Where’s the build up?? The tension??

lol if cardan is blunt, Jude is ballsy (I hope it comes across this way lol)

Actually don’t know when that transition happened I just be typing stuff 💀

Always emphasis on STEP lmao he’s not the step brother he’s the brother that STEPPED up lmao lemme stop that was uncalled for anyways yes the diner, yes infront of your salad, ues the waitress, yes that song lmao

Also you should know the first time you called me peacherly anne possible, something in me changed like the stars alined and now peacherly is my go to user name for websites and stuff cus slayyyy who tf else being called peacherly ????!!!

Two really did eat w that lmaooo

[zhuhongs]

well I thought I was going to fall asleep early, but it seems like I have too many things keeping me up and since its too cold to sit at my desk and write at my journal this thought is going on the internet. Tl:dr: tomorrow is my birthday. send me 50 dollars. i am going to bed. gn

Yea, recently everything just feels so.... much. Like I'm always at a state of just slightly overwhelmed that makes it feel usless to do anything. Like I'm worried about money, and I know that I have credit so I can use it and I have things that I need and things I want that I shouldn't deny myself of just because things are a bit trying (like food I want, things I need to fix). But then I can't help but have that internalized poor mantra of "why are u buying this when u have bills to pay?" which is dumb bc I deserve to use what little money I have in making my life more enjoyable . But I'm also like. sage did U really need to upgrade your phone or buy an interview shirt or hair dye? Like, no not technically, but these are things I should do to just make myself feel better. I don't want to be using a broken phone, might as well upgrade when theres a promotion that sure makes it hard right now but is a smart idea in the long run. And yes while I didn't need the dye or the shirt - it will make me more confident in my interview so I can get a higher paying job and not be surrounded by Stuff all day causing me to want to constantly buy things bc I wont be in a store 8hrs a day 5 days a week. So like, yes you do need those things and its negligible when I consider the credit I have. And even if I have some debts, I know that no one can bail me out becausemy family is in the same situation. And I have time. I just started working. Its a rough month, and the fact that I have a trip planned makes it even harder. Because that means more money. But if I always deny myself the opportunity to go and do things bc I don't have the money then I'd never leave my house ever, and thats how I grew up and I was miserable and the money will be gone and the month will be tight anyways so just go anddon't think about it. But I do think about it, because it's hard, and I work so hard my entire life, for what? To pay rent?? other people my age get to say the money they make and build a life yet I was dealt a shitty hand and have had to spend my time working for something people are given. And it hurts bc I've wasted so much time and worked so much andhave 9 dollars to my name and so much debt. But I will find a way. ANd it will all be paid off. I don' know how but I've done this same thing before, cried about it, and went to work the next day and figured it out. And my mother has done this everyday for the past 30 years, and I feel so sorryforher because I know it's hard. And she deserves so much more and I want to give it to her, and I'm not even 23. And tomorrow is my birthday and I have to go work. Even if I called out I don't know what it would help. And I want to go out with my friends and have a good time but I need to paymy car and I need to pay my bills. And I work 9 to 5 and when I get home I have to walk my dog and make dinner. And it's cold. And by the time all of that is done I feel like I have no time to make art or practice chinese or do any of my hobbies and better myself. I''m so tired that all I do is sleep. And I feel myself falling into old habits. And I hate it, i hate it, I am trying so hard to clawmy way out of it. It's starting with a simple routine. Even if it hasn't gotten to the point where I sit and draw or read or write every day. At least I do the dishes when I finish eating, brush my teeth twice a day, foldmy clothes, make my bed, stay off my phone during my breaks, and pack a lunch. Even if that's something I should have achieved long ago, I didn't. So now I need to do that before I can learn how to do hwat I want sadly, because dreamings costs money and dreaming requires habits. AAAAAA. okay. I need to go to bed bc I need to be up at 8am to get ready for work. Happy bday to me.

[freshpickle]

Vent post, trigger warning: $u1c1d@al

hii, just wanted to say i reaaally love your blog! :) i'll just vent here 'cause i saw u're ok with that. :D

ok so basically i've been diagnosed 2 years ago with depression, i was medicated for 1 year and the i just stopped going to my psychiatrist because i felt numb all the time (and i hated fhe feeling the pills gave me) but i got better anyway after a year. Howeveeer, this past summer i was finally able to go in no contact with "the reason" of my neverending sadness.🙄 And i feel like 1000% better now, but is there something no one talks about at the beggining of the healing proccess. The fact that you don't actually know who you are without your sadness. And I say this because even tho i was diagnosted just 2 years ago, i've been depressed for the last 10 years lol (like, fr, i tried to kms) and now with this ✨new will to live✨ it just feels weird. Because 10 i was 14, so i basically grew up being really sad all the time and now is just like??? What am I supposed to do haha.

Anyway, i am really doing well now, this summer in july i'll finish my degree (6 fkn years in this university really made me stronger haha) and i'm in a 5 years relationship with my bf and everything is going really well, but i can't help but feel weird about my self concept. Because I don't identify anymore with being sad, now i'm just me. But who am I really, you know? Because all the trauma is still unpacked and I still can't really fully enjoy life - sometimes i do think it's pointless anyway but i'll not do anything (kms) because i really don't wanna hurt the ppl around me. Is kinda sad the fact that i don't really wanna live because i want to, but because i feel responsible for how ppl whould feel if i'd be gone. From time to time i just try to enjoy/remind myself that life is worth living because i get to see more marvel movies, or eat a hazelnut donut (i really like those), or sometimes i feel like i should just stfu because it'll be a shame to die - i have a pretty face & body and i got pretty privilege a lot, isn't this the plot of all those 2000's movie? Pretty girls get a secretly sad life but then ✨the plot✨ happens and everything is ok? Lmao. Anyway, i feel like last summer was the plot and now i just get to enjoy life a little more - even tho i don't feel like doing it at all. And i feel a lil guilty because i have a good life (living in europe, good parents, good bf, a uni degree) like it seems like i'm doing "everything i'm supposed to do right" but i feel like ???? wanting to end it because of the years of abuse i went through. I really want to erase it all and live at peace with myself because at the end of the day is my mind vs my mind..

I'm sorry for this long ass text lol i did not thought i'd write this much, also i'm sorry if i've made mistakes english is my 3rd language so i'm not really good at expressing myself 🥲 you don't really have to answear i understand is a sensitive topic and not everyone wants do deal with stuff like this and it's 100% ok! 😊 i hope you have a nice rest of the week, and thank u for reading! ❤️

hey! thank you for venting!! i am always happy for people to vent in my ask box, I can't always promise to have advice, but i'm always more than happy to chat if people need someone to talk to!

congratulations on what sounds like so many incredible things going on in your life! i completely relate to that feeling of there being this chunk of your psyche that can't make sense of happiness because you've been in flight or flight to survive for so many of your formative years!

i really struggle with suicide and depression and i also battle the feeling of disappointing my family and friends if i was to act on any of those feelings. somedays its the hardest feeling to live for the big things and i find it helpful to focus on the little things instead.

i know you sent me this to rant so i don't want to give you any unsolicited advice, i'm just happy you feel safe to talk to me and if you ever do want advice, or want to rant some more, i'm here for you <3

[gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream]

Ich habe 8.945 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

5 Einträge erstellt (0%)

8.940 Einträge gerebloggt (100%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@tarantula-veins

@asher-orion-writes

@tarantula-ash

@evenedelweiss

@dogboydeathgrips

Ich habe 1.578 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#&lt;3 – 567 Einträge

#dnd – 295 Einträge

#neon glow – 271 Einträge

#toh – 138 Einträge

#sanders sides – 111 Einträge

#cardinal sins – 90 Einträge

#critical role – 82 Einträge

#yup that's me – 64 Einträge

#for future reference – 49 Einträge

#janus sanders – 48 Einträge

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#and idk what happened exactly but i think the gabriel of the group was like and then when we ate it he was like

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

idk if there's even a remote point of talking to u about my ocs babe, all you do is listen to me talking about my ocs.

Anyway let's talk about Caspian. I know u wanna know about Caspian.

Caspian is a support character to the protagonist of Oak, Ash and Thorn.

He was under Fairweather's care for a while, making him another Siren who is also a pirate (at least part time), as he travelled with her for many, many years.

He is technically a merman, half human and half siren, and has lived peacefully among both humans and Sirens in his 330-year-life span.

Like Fair, he wears a mask to conceal his scales when amongst humans. He has the power of compulsion and weather manipulation, as well as a power completely unique to him - the ability to raise the dead that had drowned at sea. This was a gift to him from the forest after he took over his place as a cardinal sin.

*giggles* I Do wanna know about Caspian!! :D

He sounds absolutely fabulous and intriguing (and I don't know if you ever confirmed my theory, but 👀👀👀)

Also the ability to raise the dead, holy fuck, please say more :0

0 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 25. Oktober 2022

#4

Happy Blorbo Blursday!

For a character of your choice: are there any extremely formative experiences that happened before the book and/or aren't mentioned in the book? If so, what is it, and what effect did it have on them?

Y'know, it took me a while of thinking, bc I'm not currently writing anything, but I am a DM, and as such I always have a story to tell

So! I will go ahead and say if you're part of the Froysil campaign, maybe don't read the next part XD

But there is a character that I'm very excited about introducing! It's name is Moirah and when it was very young it was "sacrificed" to keep an ancient being from wreaking havoc on the world. In reality it made a deal with the being, so they now share one body (the being grants Moirah powers and in turn they get to see the world through its eyes)

0 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 29. Juli 2022

#3

Oh yeah!! I write sometimes and I’ve picked up doodling again too! I really enjoy crafts and photography too but am sadly terrible at both :P

Well then I'll happily invite you to join Three Too Many Fics, originally only a writing server we now welcome all art forms!! We're always happy to have someone new join, and our mods work hard to put out fun prompts regularly :D

0 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. Juli 2022

#2

hi!! Do you have any discord servers you would recommend? I’m new to social media as a whole (I’ve lurked on tumblr for ages though) and I’ve been meaning to get more active socially… You seem to be very kind and welcoming so I thought maybe you’d have recommendations? Ty in advance

Hi :0

Honestly I'm not in a lot myself, mostly just friend servers, but if you're interested in writing or art (or crafts, photography, music, cosplay etc) I got a server or two that you might be interested in :0

3 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. Juli 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

You now require being surrounded by plants to live. What plants do you choose?

Jokes on you, I already require that XD

Uhm, succulents for sure, I've got a bunch of babies that I'm trying to rise, then my beloved Diva and, hmmmmm,,, oh yeah, my rubber tree, of course! Maybe some edible ones for cooking?

Oh and definitely chamomile, yarrow, lavender, plantain, ground ivy and chickweed!! Oh and blueweed(/chicory), of course!!

And then a fruit tree or two to round it out, and a field of pumpkins :D

(This is of course assuming I have a proper garden too)

Edit: I forgot about dandelions and daisies and violets and lesser celandine and I'm sure many many more, they just bring me a lot of joy XD

4 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 27. April 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[venus616]

these days; {tasm!peter parker}

Pairing: tasm!peter parker x f!reader (but you can interpret this as any peter parker), tom holland x f!reader

Summary: your way, i'm tryna understand these days… i need to know if you're feelin' it or i'm wasting my time, your way or mine (lyrics by wallows these days)

translation: (part two to daddy issues! pls read part one here if u are intrigued :')) college student!reader attempting to understand where she stands with peter now that their relationship developed, but not in the way she had hoped

Warnings: dilf!peter, smut, vaginal fingering/sex, oral sex, blowjob, masturbation, age difference, spanking, daddy kink, dacryphilia if you squint, mean peter kinda? he gets possessive at some parts, alcohol mentions, food mention, language, cheating, unprotected sex, 18+, NSFW

Word Count: 14.3k

read part one | two | read part three | read part four || series playlist • series status: complete

A/N: FORMERLY blkgwenstacy but i changed my username! bad summary once again but this + daddy issues and the next two parts (i plan to write) are gonna be part of the same series! i think this installment can work as a stand alone but this story has more plot imo

August - 

Your irritating alarm on your phone went off. You shot awake due to your lack of sleep from last night then turned over to the reason why. You rolled on your side to face Peter, his eyes still closed but his lips forming into a smile. “Don’t say it.” He states, still refusing to open his eyes. You giggle at his refusal to be awake on a Saturday morning at 6 am. Since it was still the summer, the sun peeking out from his blinds was not helping his agenda for sleeping in. 

“You need to get up.” You say in a pleading whisper, knowing his son, Ben, would be up in about three hours. See, you and Peter have developed a few habits in the short time you’ve spent together. As you guys have been hooking up, (which is what you resigned yourself to call it as there has been no formalities put in place) whenever you guys decide to be intimate, which is often, you only come to Peter’s apartment after Ben is tucked in and leave before he wakes up. It had its flaws because you could barely get sleep on those nights, but with the way Peter made you feel, it was worth it. It was a time crunch outside of the limited hours spent together because sometimes you wanted to wake up and spend quality time with Peter that you couldn’t do if Ben wasn’t at Aunt May’s.

It wasn’t that Ben didn’t know you, but you and Peter knew better that it was better to not confuse him with the constant presence of his father’s 20 year old neighbor. You knew that the part Peter omitted from this reasoning was because he didn’t see it being long term, but let him tell it, he says Ben’s not ready to see any woman constantly around. 

Either way, you understood, even if Peter didn’t realize you did. Which made these compromises so much more frustrating. Peter officially woke up by rubbing his eyes and rolling on his back before sitting up. He turned over to you laid on your side, hips looking particularly tempting with his bedsheets draped across them, you wearing nothing but your underwear from last night. 

“Breakfast is kinda overrated don’t you think?” Peter whined before reaching over to cup your ass, about to kiss you. 

“I don’t know Pete, I think Ben’s gotten to like my pancakes that you continue to pass off as your own.” You push his head to the side, refusing his kiss as a way to feign being mad at him. 

“I don’t know what you expect me to do. Tell him the pancake fairy made them?” He scoffed at your accusation, hands ghosting your hips once more and this time you don’t swat him because you’re too busy giggling at his stupid joke. 

He took this opportunity to jump back in between the sheets with you bringing your hips against his. Nuzzling his head in between your head and shoulder. 

“5 more minutes? I already know what I want to eat today anyway.” He says before bringing one of his legs in between yours to spread you apart, cupping your forming heat. You bite back a moan. 

“Tempting.” You croak out, eyes meeting him as he looks back up to you. As you go back in to kiss him you’re reminded of the day and narrow your eyes at him, leaving him hanging as he never felt your lips meet his. 

“What?” He sighs, drooping his face down to the bed in disappointment. 

“Did you make the reservation for the place tonight?” You say, not trusting Peter when it comes to these things because you know how unreliable he can be, for whatever reason. You didn’t want to come off as prying or clingy so you never asked, but you could tell he felt remorseful when he was late or had to cancel. 

“Yes I did. And it’s a non-refundable deposit this time so I can’t miss it even if I wanted to,” You scoffed at that, “which I don’t.” He attempts to save himself. “Because I can’t pass up an opportunity to see you in whatever tiny dress you’ll show up in.” He says cupping your face. 

“You mean tear me out of?” You sigh, gesturing to the pieces of fabric on the floor laying on the floor and the clothes of the past, particularly upset at the expensive lingerie that he’s ripped off. 

“We both know you like wearing my clothes more anyway.” You could feel him smirking as he said that leaned into your neck. 

“You give me no choice.” You exclaim, ticklish at the bass of his voice against your skin.

You both make your way to the kitchen as you get back into your ritualistic routine of making breakfast for each other (& for Ben when he wakes up) with soft music playing in the background. You were wearing one of his oversized sleeping shirts and your underwear, mixing the pancake batter for Ben and Peter. Peter was shirtless with gray sweatpants on, working on the eggs for you and him.

It was a mystery the type of effect Peter had on you, the absence of fear and stress you had when you were around him was an addictive feeling so you had grown attached. There was something to be said about how you would hang on his every word, but you weren’t acknowledging it because ignorance was bliss. 

“So what time should I be ready?” You say, licking the mixing spoon as you placed the bowl of remaining mix in his sink. Peter placed your plates on the dining table and you quickly joined after grabbing the fresh toast, spoon in hand. You placed his in between his teeth which caused him to muffle a “fhanks” as he chewed. 

He swallowed a bite to answer. “I have to drop off Ben but the place is nearby May’s so you can meet me at the restaurant? I got us a private booth so you can just ask for my name when you come in.” He stated, shifting full focus on his plate. 

Your face faltered at that, a bit disappointed he wasn’t going to formally pick you up and walk you there, but you understood that he had priorities so you quickly shifted your focus elsewhere. 

“A private booth? Oh Peter you’re making me swoon.” You smile while running your foot up his leg from underneath the table. He looks up at you, forking his eggs as he smiles at you. 

“It’ll be like it’s our little secret.” He says grabbing your hand from across the table. You almost visibly grimace from his words, embarrassed at the statement. It was moments like this where you can’t help what you feel with the sort of arrangement you found yourself tied up in. 

-

The restaurant was gorgeous. You had never been here before so you relied on the address Peter texted to you, finding yourself in the middle of uptown Manhattan. It had a garden in the back that was almost like its own private central park, perfect for strolling right after dinner. You felt a bit silly getting out of the cab and walking in alone, like you weren’t meeting a man who had been playing your boyfriend for the past few weeks. Of course, you had to remind yourself he wasn’t necessarily your boyfriend in the first place. You were brought out of your thoughts when the greeters called out for your attention. 

Shaking out of your thoughts, you asked for Peter’s name. 

“Reservation for Parker?” You stated, not knowing how things like this worked at places like these but hoping you for it right. As the waiter scanned the list he nodded before asking you to follow him in. 

The waiter walked you to the private booth to find Peter in a two piece suit looking amazing. He was in a button up that was definitely meant for a tux as you saw how tailored it was for him. You were drooling so much you almost forgot yourself until his jaw was on the floor when he saw you.

You were in a little black dress that brought attention to Peter’s favorite parts about you, which was everything truth be told. Your breasts were being held up by two thin straps of the dress with a dip of cleavage that Peter found himself particularly drawn to when he stood up to greet you. 

“You look amazing, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to pick you up but now I’m kinda glad I didn’t or else we wouldn’t have been able to make it on time.” He stated before bringing you into a hug where he squeezed your ass, making you gasp in his ear. His dick twitched at the sound, already plotting on how he was gonna treat you tonight. 

After you two sat down and ordered, the waiter quickly retrieved your menus and found yourself almost kicking your feet from the way he looked at you. 

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” You say attempting to make him laugh. You succeed as the crinkles by his eyes appear once again. 

“Don’t tempt me baby, you know I’m still a photographer.” He reminded you. Your stomach did flips at his pet name usage, you weren’t sure if you were ever gonna get used to his verbal affection. 

“I thought it was just a hobby now,” You bite back. 

“Now it is, ever since Ben came into my life I decided that it was better to keep it as a hobby instead of a career. But I used to be really good with the camera if I do say so myself.” 

“Oh I know.” You quirk up your eyebrow in response. 

He squints at you. “You do?”

“Your photos on your night stand and the bulletin board of your old work at The Daily Bugle are not very discreet, Peter.” He clenches his jaw at your observations, realizing you’ve probably seen the pictures of the mother of his child.

You notice his sudden tension and reach over for his hand on the table. 

“You were really good,” You reassure him but try to move away from the sensitive topic that was probably on his mind. “I just don’t understand how you always got such good pictures of Spider-Man, were you a fanboy?” You joke. He smiled softly at that, his eyes twinkling when he looked back at you.

You don’t know why you skated around the obvious but you knew you didn’t want to ruin one of these special moments you had with Peter with something as sensitive as that. You knew when he was ready, if he was ever going to be ready, that he would trust you enough to tell you what happened. 

-

After the meal he suggested you guys take a stroll in the back which you raised your eyebrow to. 

“What if people see us?” You joked, gesturing vaguely to the secrecy of this date that he emphasized. 

“Look at how empty it is.” He steps out to the quietness of the garden, twinkling with lights. He grins before leaning in to kiss you and there it is. The back and forth that you go back to whenever he says something like this. You know he’s not necessarily ashamed of you, but maybe about his involvement with you which you know is just as bad. You get distracted as you find yourself enamored in his kiss before he breaks away. 

He intertwined his fingers with yours before leading you around the park, stopping every now and then to admire the beauty. He fidgeted around a bit behind you but you pretended not to notice, letting the silence hang in the air as you took in the fresh air. 

“Her name was Gwen.” He states when you’re leaning down to look into the koi pond. 

“What?” You say off guard, almost slipping in before you feel his arms wrap around you. He holds your waist as you attempt to stay on your feet.

“The girl you see in my pictures, around my place. Her name was Gwen.” He says, scanning your face for a reaction. 

“Oh.” You sigh. Not knowing how to proceed because you don’t know what questions are the right ones to ask. This is probably the most vulnerable you two have gotten since you started sneaking around with him. 

“She died a year after having Ben. I haven’t really dated around since then.” He said. He let go of you before taking your hands in his again. 

“She was really beautiful.” You comment, rubbing your empty hand along his arm, attempting to comfort him. He looked pensive, as if he was wondering if he should say more. 

“She was.” He forced a smile. “We met in high school and,” He sighed for a bit, probably deciding whether or not he wanted to continue. Your eyes flicker to the ground before looking back up to him when he continues. 

“Well, you know the rest.” He choked as he bit back tears  but you could see them swelling in his eyes. Your heart broke at this, feeling bad that he felt the need to explain but you understood a little more why he treated this relationship so delicately. At least, you understood why he would. 

“Hey,” You call for his attention, forcing him to look at you again. “Peter, it's okay.” You murmured. He sniffled before wiping the tears that escaped. You two sat down next to the pond before you could say anything. 

“I’m really sorry.” You stated, reaching to grab his hand. You then tighten your hold on him. “I’m sorry if you felt obligated to explain yourself to me. I know I can be difficult but,” He cuts you off shaking his head. 

“Don’t do that, this isn’t your fault.” He paused, sighing out, “I’m sorry that you got into a relationship with a guy like me.” He let it slip out before both of you could realize.

“Relationship?” You question, choosing to ignore his not so subtle self deprecation.

“Whatever this is,” He takes it back. Peter knows that saying it aloud only makes it more real. 

“Where do you see this going Peter?” You ask, not allowing him to get away from you that easily. You don’t look at him, afraid of the reaction you’ll receive. You stare ahead of yourself looking at the pathway of stone, leading to the next sector of the garden. 

He sighs. “I don’t know Y/N. You kinda came out of nowhere if I’m being honest.” You whip your head to his direction and see him smiling. You couldn’t place how you felt hearing him say that. 

Peter was special to you, granted in more ways than one. The fact that he couldn’t even answer your question brought you some concerns that you previously pushed to the back of your head. You didn’t want to question the man who has brought you so much peace in this transition of your life, but he is simultaneously disrupting it when he says shit like this, so you do. 

“Was I supposed to send you a heads up?” You scoff. You playfully elbowed his side out of annoyance. 

“I’m sorry, I just want to enjoy this. I want to enjoy you.” He emphasizes, taking your chin in his hand as he stops you from moving any further. 

The rational part of you could see what he meant immediately. He didn’t see this going beyond a fling as he couldn’t even call you his girlfriend. But the side of you that wasn’t thinking straight held onto the fact that he saw you at all. The amount of trust you’ve put in him triumphed over whatever he said when he touched you.

He got you again and you were staring deep into his eyes. You could never stay mad at him for long so you folded immediately when he smiled at you. His arms made their way to the middle of your body and held you by the small of your back. He nuzzled his head in the crook of your shoulders, tickling you with kisses, and giving you a burn with his grown out beard. You giggled due to the ticklishness and sensitivity of your neck.

“I hate you.” You say, breathing out as he stopped to stare at you again when he returned to his previous position.

He smiles. “No you don’t.” He leans in to kiss your cheek, meeting your forehead and nose with his shortly after. 

You exhale, shaking your head. 

“I could never hate you.” You say softly. It was barely above a whisper but you know he heard you.

He always heard you. 

-

You woke up beside Peter the next morning. Your head was on his chest softly exhaling since he was still asleep. 

Last night's events were more than expected. After you and Peter spoke little to nothing about your current relationship status, you two walked home and he tore off your clothes. 

As usual. 

You detach yourself from his body causing him to stir from the brief loss of contact. He flips onto his stomach and you giggle at his movements. You reach over to the bedside where his camera laid, being used last night as a way to prove just how good of a photographer he was. You were a little embarrassed at how vulnerable you were to him last night but was flattered that you were momentarily his muse. Then, you think about how cute it would be have the tables turn when you decide to pick it up from the night stand. 

You snap a few photos of him, with your knees on either side of the back of his legs. Before you could scroll through the gallery to choose which ones to delete and keep your phone starts vibrating on your bedside. You put down the camera and see it’s your mom calling. 

Quickly, you pull on one of Peter’s nearest t-shirts and go outside his room to pick up. 

“Hey mom,” you say, a bit groggy since you had just woken up. 

“Hey Y/N. I was in the city today and I was calling to ask if you wanted to have lunch later. Maybe 12?”

You check the time and look back at the closed door. 

“It’s kinda cutting it close don’t you think?” You try to shrug off her invite.

“Oh, did you have a crazy Saturday night?” She remarks, laughing at your obvious exhaustion over the phone.

“Something like that.” You state meekly, heat rising to your cheeks over the phone. “I was on a date.” You cringe as you let the words slip out. 

“With him?” She yells over the phone, “Your little boyfriend,” She says in a sing-song voice to mock your previous lovesick conversations about him. 

Not that you ever brought him up on purpose, but she could tell from the way you carry yourself when you guys meet up that you were very much in love. But you never called it that, since Peter didn’t, your mom made a point that you knew it once she pulled the very minor details (ie; everything except his age and the fact that she’s met him before) out of you. 

“Did he finally ask you to be his girlfriend?” She eagerly asks. 

“No.” You answer honestly. There’s silence before she starts. 

“How long has this been going on?” She reminds you. 

“Mom.” You groan.

“I’m serious Y/N” You move your phone away from your face as she barks over the phone to collect yourself before you answer. 

You bring the phone back to your face. “It’s been two months but please don’t make this a big deal. I told you we don’t even want anyone to know.” You hiss over the phone so you don’t completely wake Peter up. 

You can hear your mom sigh before starting an inevitable lecture.

“You both don’t want anyone to know or he doesn’t want anyone to know? Because there’s a difference Y/N.” She answers honestly.

“He hasn’t claimed you as his partner but you’re still with him when you know you want more. And that’s the problem.” You can feel your heart beating faster as she says this, feeling angrier.

“Mom. I’m not coming today if you talk about this.” You say honestly. Your attitude started to show out so she backed off, knowing relationships are a sore subject with you. 

“Fine. But Y/N remember that whoever this boy is,” You silently huff at the usage of “boy”. “if he’s got you feeling like this and a title is what you want, it isn’t worth waiting around for. Trust me.” She says genuinely. You can hear the concern in her voice but you hear Peter calling out for you groggily. 

“I’ll see you at 3 then?” She says, voice coated in hope that you’ll join her.

“Yeah, fine. Bye.” You say dryly. You felt bad at how short you were being with her but you couldn’t stand the comments especially because you heard enough of it from yourself. 

All she did was confirm your stress and it was making you all the more anxious of your future with Peter. 

Or lack thereof.

You hang up as soon as she says her goodbyes.

You see that you have a few more hours with Peter before he’d go to pick up Ben and you meet up with your mom so you go take advantage of all the affection you could. 

You enter back in his bedroom to see him still in bed with the sheets covering only his lower half. 

You return back to your sleeping position after placing your phone on the nightstand and place your head back on his chest as you go back in to lay down with him. 

He feels your presence and smothers you, catching you off guard causing you to giggle. His playfulness calming you down from the phone call that caused you to be flustered. 

“Missed you.” He said, stroking your back.  

“Peter, I was only gone for 5 minutes.” You fire back. You decide to wrap your leg around his and sit back up on his lap, your heat meeting his crotch causing him to groan.

“So?” He quirks up his eyebrow before he leans up to kiss you, but not without grinding his hips into yours.

-

September -

Your third year of college came in full swing and you found yourself constantly at school in attempts to finish your homework on top of your double shifts in the campus cafe. You saw Peter significantly less as he returned to Ben’s school schedule on top of his work schedule.

You had wished he made more of an effort to compromise outside of sex because you valued his presence, but his priorities changed as he saw you less. 

As a result you’ve resorted to only seeing him on the weekends, late at night. This wasn’t necessarily new, but it caused some distance as you could clearly see the different stages of your life in perspective now. Especially when it was a Saturday night and you were with your friends at a friend’s party, hoping to make your rounds but dropping it all when you saw his text to come over after he put his son to bed. 

You felt bad, but you liked him. You just felt worse lying to your friends as they didn’t even know it was a boy you were leaving them for. It usually went something like last weekend. 

You would be laughing with your friends as they swayed to the music of a poorly lit apartment living room, exchanging details about majors to anyone new you met. You would feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and knew what that meant, since anyone else that would text you on a Saturday night was in the same building as you. 

12:10 am: Come over. 

12:11 am: Ben’s asleep. ;)

You attempted to hide your excitement and excused yourself from the conversation you were currently having. 

12:12 am: i’m at a party tho 

You started a mental checklist of what you were going to say when your friends were gonna inevitably question you for leaving. 

12:13 am: Please come?

You couldn’t help but grin before tapping your response. 

12:13 am: u know i love it when u beg 

You put your phone away and breathe out a content sigh before going up to the friend that invited you all and the host to say your goodbyes. 

“There she goes again.” They slur, toeing the line between tipsy and drunk before giving you the obligatory goodbye. 

“I’m sorry babe, I’ll see you Monday?” You reassure before saying bye to the rest of your friends. 

They all nod with an underlying smirk. You know what they want to say but they know that you’ll immediately deny it, as you have before. You shoot them a knowing glance as you exit their building taking the nearest subway to see Peter. 

One thing you wished was just for some reciprocation though. For example, like today. You had an opportunity to see him as one of your afternoon classes was canceled. 

You knew Peter had flexible hours with the lab he worked at, especially during the school year because of all the new graduate and undergraduate assistants being able to help. With his seniority there, he was able to call out any time which is how he was able to spend time with you when he wanted to, while Ben was with May over the summer. So you texted him, not expecting the response you were going to get due to the prior context. 

The text thread was as followed: 

11:03 am: “pete! i have the next few hours free bc my next class was canceled” 

11:03 am: “wanna come over?”

You tapped your foot impatiently waiting for him to answer while you were still in the back of your current lecture hall, switching from your laptop open with a tab of notes to your message screen in your phone. The prospect of Peter made you impatient as you missed him, since you went from seeing him almost everyday to once-twice a week in less than a month.

11:09 am: “I can’t. Still at the lab.”

Your face visibly dropped at the response, causing your friend to look over at you in confusion before you exited the message tab. You look at them and shake your head claiming it was nothing before you quickly tapped back a message once they nodded in understanding. 

11:09 am: “:( u can’t leave early? & doesn’t Ben get out at 3?”

You attempted to distract yourself by actually focusing on the lecture, knowing that the remaining minutes would only draw out in your head if you focused on Peter more than the content. Of course, your attention shifted back when you had a back to back vibration. 

11:20 am: “No. I’m sorry.”

11:21 am: “Maybe I’ll see you tonight.”

You sighed out reading his polite rejection coupled with his assumption that you’d answer to his every whim.

He was right, unfortunately. 

But you couldn’t tonight even if you wanted to. You had work until 10 pm and had some readings you needed to get done for your class tomorrow. Normally you would’ve told him that but you were so upset with the circumstances that you shut off your phone and sighed before packing up your stuff after the professor dismissed class to go to the library, thinking that you might as well be productive. 

-

Later on that same day, you were working late in front of the house waiting to close up until you heard someone coming in. You roll your eyes in annoyance and still don’t tear your eyes away from your notebook next to your open book, mentally preparing to ring someone up or make their coffee. 

You had been visibly down the entire day not just due to Peter but what it meant for him to say that when you know you’d drop everything for him. You knew it was silly and somewhat your own fault for letting it get to this point especially if you weren’t going to drop him anytime soon. 

Alas, it’s Tuesday night and you wanted nothing more than to go home but it was about 30 more minutes till you could even think about it. 

“Hi.” You furrow your eyebrows at the British accent and look up from your book to see a cute, boyish face smiling back at you.

You stand up straight and leave your pencil in between the closed book to face the register to ring him up for the bag of chips he has on the counter.

“Hi.” You quirk up your eyebrows before ringing his chips up. You patiently look at him in his eyes waiting for him to tell you his order, but he just stares back at you smiling so you prompt him.

“Anything else?” You attempt to say lightly, knowing if you don’t it can sound a bit mean. 

“Can I get an Americano? That’ll be it.” He says. You nod, a bit shocked he’d be getting espresso this late and this early in the semester but you weren’t one to judge, you were studying on the job. 

“7.50.” You say. As the typical exchange proceeds, you turn back around to make his drink. 

“This is a good book. Do you like it?” He states. You turn back around expecting him to be talking to someone else who just walked in but he was looking at you waiting for your response. 

You stammer before responding, shocked that he was actually speaking to you as there was no one else in the cafe. You remind yourself of the book you’re reading for your English class as there’s a discussion on the assigned chapters tomorrow. 

“Uh, kinda? It’s only for a class but I think it’s interesting.” You say, before turning back around to turn on the espresso machine. 

“Cool, what class is it for?” He asks. 

“English 300, 19th century English Literature.” You pipe back. You’re done making his drink by the time you turn back around. 

“Oh I took that last fall actually. Do you like it?” He says a quick thank you when he takes the drink out of your hands, fingers lingering on yours when he smiles at you. He made you blush at the action. 

You brush it off by pretending to think about your answer, placing your chin in between your index and thumb fingers before ultimately shaking your head. 

“Honestly? No. At least not so far. It’s just a bunch of pretentious English majors.” You joke before you realize through his reaction. His eyes widening before exhaling and chuckling. 

 “Oh my god, I’m sorry,” You laugh while he laughs with you. 

“Not all of you are pretentious,” You start before he cuts you off.

“No,” He shakes his head with a wide smile. “I’m not an English major. But I am a film major so I’m arguably more pretentious.” He stammers out before making both of you laugh, filling the silent cafe with the sound of you. 

You relax into a smile at how easygoing he is. Him being easy on the eyes didn’t hurt either. 

You let your confidence speak for you before you could even think twice. “Yeah well, you’re kinda cute so it hardly matters.” You turn around to wipe down your station before you can see his reaction, cringing at yourself for being so straightforward. 

“If the cute barista thinks I’m cute, can I get her name?” You hear him say. 

You wipe your hands on your apron before turning back around to study his face, a bit of blush remaining on his face. Presumably from your compliment. 

“Y/N.” You answer back, tilting your head to the side and he mocks you by mirroring your reaction causing you to laugh even more. 

He smiles at your reaction before answering. “I’m Tom. I would say it’s nice to meet you but I’m wondering why I haven’t seen you around before.” He inquires. 

You look at him inquisitively, surprised he’s being just as forward. 

“I like to think I’m always floating around campus, maybe you just weren’t looking hard enough.” You bite back, leaning forward on the counter. His lips form into a smile.

-

A few weeks pass after that encounter. You quickly fell into the habit of seeing him in between classes in his apartment which was closer to campus than yours. It sped up the dating process more than you expected because you two had a routine by the third date.

Throughout the week after your classes you spent time with Tom before your shifts at work. He eased into it by suggesting that he help you complete your readings before going in and he stayed at the cafe doing his own work, waiting for you to close up and come back to his place for the night. You obliged, not minding where this relationship would go, romantically or friendly as Tom made you feel very comfortable. 

By the end of the week, late Friday nights followed into the weekend by hanging out at your apartment to filter out the campus life which Tom enjoyed, so you two stayed holed up together throughout the weekend, for two weekends in a row. During these weekends, you were anxious with him just because you didn’t want to run into Peter and have to tell the entire truth of why you hadn’t been answering him around the clock like you usually would. 

However, there wouldn’t even be anything to explain as you guys weren’t there to have sex, but just because he liked your company. There were about 3 nights in a row where you guys actually finished movies before hooking up. You originally attributed it to him being passionate about films but you also came to the conclusion that he just found your commentary valuable and loved listening to you. Your friends eased your skepticism by saying, if he had wanted to just hook up or stay friends, he wouldn’t have cared all that much. 

Speaking of which, if you let your friends tell it, you two were inseparable, which you knew was somewhat true. Part of you worried if you were going too fast, but you knew that it was out of fear, especially after you spent your entire summer with a man who was emotionally unavailable. 

It caught you off guard because admittedly you didn’t know what you were doing. You were still sleeping with Peter but you progressively became more distant and he knew it. The last straw being when you didn’t come over to his place that Saturday night Tom shared his feelings for you. You found out at that moment that you reciprocated entirely, there was a cloud of doubt in your mind though, wishing it was Peter telling you this instead.

It was when you were walking to your apartment with Tom holding hands, giggling from a joke he had just made, but also just because he made you so happy, he blurted it out. 

“I like you.” He said, making you stop and look up at him in a bit of shock, still not completely sober so trying to formally process his words. 

“Tom,” You start, but you’re cut off. 

“No like, I really like you.” He emphasizes the “really” before chuckling and tightening his lips in a line before continuing. You stare at him in awe of his confession, knowing that it shouldn’t be as big of a deal as it is to you right now but it was. You weren’t used to these types of forward confessions unless it was layered with physical affection like Peter had done.You found your heart fluttering as he continued, finding that verbal reassurance made you feel like you were on Cloud 9. You felt guilty for thinking about Peter during a time like this, but it just made you wish he had taken the time to do this like Tom was.

“I just really like spending time with you.”  He cuts off your thoughts, taking your other hand in his. You nod before he can continue. 

“I was just lucky I walked in on your shift that night rather than my idiot friend‘s.” You threw your head back laughing at that, knowing exactly who he was talking about. 

“You’re insanely smart, funny, and really fucking cute. I’m kinda drunk right now but I think I can go on forever about you if you’d let me.” He laughed, making you giggle in response. 

You cut him off by kissing him roughly on his lips, not wanting to do anything other than kiss him. You quickly heat it up by removing your hands from his grasp and placing them along his shoulders, bringing your hips against his. He reacted quickly by wrapping his hands around your hips, making you gasp before you broke the kiss to clear your throat.

“I like you too.” You simply state, a bit shy now that you’ve admitted it verbally. 

“Yeah?” He teased, bringing his nose to meet yours. You nodded with a smile on your face. 

“Glad we got that sorted out.” He continues, before kissing your cheek.

You shake your head with a small eye roll. “Whatever, let’s go.” You smirk before pulling him up the stairs of your apartment. 

You stumble up your stairs giggling in front of Tom, knowing you’re making a little too much noise at 12 am as you were visibly tipsy but Tom makes sure that you’re safe by holding onto your hips. 

He wraps himself around you as you attempt to unlock your door until you hear a noise from behind you. You turn the key hearing the click with the unlock of your door but turn to meet Peter’s eyes as Tom kisses the crook of your neck. 

Guilt fills your veins as Peter stares back at you in jealousy, jaw clenched.

“Baby,” Tom coo’s, just as tipsy as you were so he missed the sight of you looking at your neighbor with feign innocence. “c’mon open the door.” He says, pressing another kiss on your neck, pressing his erection against your backside. 

Peter looks forward to opening his door to enter his home and slam it. The noise causes you to flinch and Tom to look behind the both of you. 

“Damn,” he chuckles. You focused on the doorknob attempting to push the overthinking aside. 

You open the door and turn back to Tom looking at you with drunk adoration in his eyes, giving you a reason to smile. 

You step backwards with your arms wrapped around his shoulders giggling, forcing yourself to forget about what just happened knowing that was a problem for tomorrow. 

He shut the door behind you grinning, knowing you were all his for the night.

-

You were dressed in one of Tom’s t-shirts that you had stolen from the previous week as you were walking him out, him dressed in yesterday's clothes. 

Normally you would’ve spent more time with him but seeing as he had a paper due tonight, he’s leaving before any more physical distractions could arise. 

You were standing in your doorway saying your final goodbyes, at least until tomorrow. 

“Text me when you get back?” You say after kissing his cheek.

“Of course love.” He responds before kissing you on the lips. 

“Ok.” You smile, letting your hands linger in his before he leaves, descending down the steps. You can see him exchanging a glance with Peter before Peter turns to face you, going up the steps. 

You remain frozen in your doorway looking at him and before he can stop at his apartment door, which you can tell he thought about it, he turns to you and steps closer. You feel timid in his presence once again, forgetting how small he made you feel. 

“Hi,” you start, not knowing what to say. You know you don’t want to apologize or allow him to make you feel bad about it, because technically you weren’t doing anything wrong. 

“Who is he?” He dived in the topic headfirst and you grimaced. You scoffed walking into your apartment knowing he’d soon follow behind you, always getting up into your boundaries because he knew he could. 

He slammed and locked the door behind him. 

“Who is he?” He demands loudly this time, making sure you can hear him when you walk into your room ignoring him. 

He trailed behind you, scanning to see what’s changed since he had last been here. His stomach dropped at the disheveled sheets. 

“What does it matter to you?” You state, picking up your clothes from last night off the floor.

When you put them in your hamper, he stops you by pulling on your shirt. 

“This his?” He scoffs. 

“You never asked me to be your girlfriend Peter.” You spit back, pushing his hand away from the fabric before he can tear it off you. 

He rolled his eyes before answering a bit softer. You could tell he backed down. 

“You know I can’t do that.” He said. You sat back down on your bed facing his general direction as he stood in front of you. His face softened as well and kneeled before you, face looking up at yours holding your hips. 

Your voice came out cracked, biting back the tears from how stressed he was making you. 

“Then why are we having this conversation?” You cry. The tears started spilling out before you knew it. He stood back up to kiss your forehead. 

“I’m sorry baby,” He said before fully standing straight. You looked up at him from your current position, feeling more vulnerable in front of him than you ever have.

You didn’t want to believe you were crying for his love, at least not explicitly, but he practically forced your hand at the way he was guilt tripping you as if he ever made an effort to claim you. 

He stroked your cheek with your thumb, wiping the tears still spilling as you sniffled. 

“Is he your boyfriend now?” He says, almost mockingly. You swear you could’ve cussed him out right then and there but you stayed silent letting him speak with snark, the lump in your throat not disappearing. 

You shake your head, causing Peter to shake his head right after. 

“Tell me.” He states, still gently stroking your cheeks. You bring a hand to cling onto his arm before speaking, voice still cracked.

“He hasn’t officially asked me.” You quiver, pushing yourself back on your bed until your legs are fully off the floor. You weren’t stupid. You knew where this was going, you knew what he wanted and you were gonna give it to him. 

Because it was what you wanted too. 

Peter crawled on the bed above you, hovering your figure. He takes your face in both his hands and kisses you gently. 

You realized as you kissed back desperately that he hasn’t been this soft with you in a while, the desire and hunger always coming first in the last two months. 

You kiss back, not understanding why but you did. Just as you did he trails down to your neck, crawling onto the bed with you. You were in bliss for what you knew was coming, or what you thought was coming. 

You were brought out of your expectations when Peter spoke. 

“Are you mine?” He asks. There was a sense of dominance in his voice you haven’t heard since the first time you guys had sex. 

This one was laced in jealousy though.

It was obvious something shifted in him as you showed him he wasn’t the only man in your life anymore and that he had to work for your affection if he truly wanted you. Though, he wasn’t willing to do more than he had to so he relied on your history and your clear love for him. 

Fortunately for him (unfortunately for you), it worked. 

You nod as he latches his fingers on the seams of your underwear. 

“I need to hear you say it.” He growls in your ear before pushing your back on the bed, making you gasp out. 

“Tell me you’re mine.” He says abandoning your skin to rub you through your underwear.

“I’m yours.” You whimper, your eyes meeting his as he massages harder on your forming wet spot.

You want to knock yourself out for how quickly you submitted to him. He knew the power he had over you and wasn’t afraid to remind you. 

But it felt too good to think about right now.

Before you could say anything else you heard him quickly unbuckling his pants. His bottom half was naked before he pushed your underwear to the side, clearly wanting to get to the point. 

Your body jolted as you felt his familiar cock fill you up again. Moaning out for him. You were pressed up against his chest on your side as he entered you laying down beside you. 

“Fucked another boy last night and you’re still so tight for me.” He teased as he whispered in your ear. 

You moan not knowing what to say, just knowing it felt so good for him to care enough about you to be this jealous.

“Tell me how much you love it.” He gasps, only letting the sound of your skin slapping fill the air. He grabbed on to the back of your thighs to hold them open for your entrance in a rough way that you knew was gonna leave bruises on you. 

“You feel so fucking good inside of me Peter,” You cried out, knowing it was gonna drive him crazy. You turn your head to meet his eyes again, literally black from how blown out with lust they were looking at you falling apart in his hands. 

“I love the way you fuck me daddy.” You groan out, fucking yourself back onto him, taking control of the pacing of your hips. He hissed out at your sudden change of pace before he grabs on to them to slow you down causing you to clench around him even more from his control. 

“Yeah?” He says before you kiss him desperately, not even aiming for accuracy as you only moaned in his mouth while nodding to answer his self indulged questions.

“Can he make you feel like this?” He says before slipping out of you completely, you whining at the loss of contact. 

He flips you on your stomach, and you arch your back, leaving your ass in the air for him. 

He rubbed your dick along your slit before fully entering, causing you to moan obscenities before begging him to thrust into you already. 

You shake your head as if to say “No” knowing it wasn’t true, because Tom was amazing in bed. But anything to keep Peter to make you feel like this again. You knew what he wanted to hear, even if it was just a power trip for him.

He drilled into you from this position and rolled his hips against your ass repeatedly. You knew you were gonna orgasm from this alone, he also knew from the way you were clenching around him each time.

“Fuck, are you gonna cum baby?” He asked. 

He already knew the answer. 

He made you sit up straight along his chest again as he continued to thrust into you. He massaged your breasts before going to your clit and thrusted into you even harder. 

“I’m gonna cum.” You groan out. As soon as you clenched one final time around him he mewled in your ear, cumming inside you at the same time. Your body vibrated on top of his before you two fully collapsed on your bed. 

You laid still, attempting not to think too deeply about what you just did and the morally gray area about it, but shortly after Peter snuggled up into you, kissing your cheek. 

-

October - 

Before you knew it, it was fall break. You loved Halloween so you had to emphasize the importance of preparing for your Halloween this week of no school by the multiple Spirit Halloween trips and making Tom help you decorate your apartment. 

You were currently on a stool putting your fairy lights up in your room for the seasonal flair for the next few months while Tom laid down in your bed, reading a book. 

You quickly wrapped up your process by taping up the remaining cords and plugging them in, to prepare for the long night ahead of you as it was already 7 pm. 

You stumbled down from your stool and looked around proud of yourself. You pick up your phone to check the time but see the text on your screen from peter. 

14 min ago: Come over?

14 min ago: Ben’s napping

You sigh under your breath so Tom wouldn’t ask what’s wrong before typing back. 

now: busy, sorry

now: studying :(

Peter sat on his bed waiting for your usually hasty arrival with a knock on his door but looked at your text in defeat. 

He knew you weren’t studying, especially with the cologne of who you had been fucking rubbing off on you for the past few weeks. 

He also knew that there was no way you were studying on fall break. Peter scoffed as he recalled you celebrating that all your midterms would be due right before, so you would have time to relax on your break guilt free. He mentally cursed at you for not even caring enough to come up with a better lie for him. 

Peter supposed it made sense that you were seeing someone else but he couldn’t find it in him to not feel jealous whenever he was faced with the reality.

In Peter’s head, and only in his head because he refused to ever tell you otherwise outside of nicknames, you were his girl. He loved the effect he had on you and how eager you were to be around him. He became addicted to the feeling and became possessive in a way that should only be reserved for commitment. 

He knew that, which is why he couldn’t find it in himself to confront you about it. At the moment, his stomach was turning at the thought of another man, really a boy to him, touching you. 

You placed your phone face down on the bed side before plopping back down beside Tom as he chuckled at your exasperation.

“You done?” He asks before putting his book back down, taking your hand in his.

“Yeah, no thanks to you.” You say, mockingly before he lets out an offended gasp. He rises on one elbow to face you as you stay laid down on your side. 

“Hey, I helped you carry all your stuff all week and narrowed down the costumes for us.” He claimed before flipping you over on your back, pinning your arms above your head. 

You scoff at this, knowing if you really wanted to you could play-fight with him because of the average strength he has, not like Peter where he’s basically Super-Man for whatever reason. (You couldn’t tell if you missed it during times like these.)

“Oh, as if you even helped pick them. You just insulted half my choices.” You roll your eyes before using this opportunity to wrap your legs around his waist and bring him closer. He stammers at this, scoffing at you before grinding his hips down on yours.

“I think you just brought up half of those options to annoy me. Like Cosmo and Wanda.” Tom points out, causing you to laugh at his observation. 

You sigh before your confession. “Yeah, I did.” You nod before he goes in to kiss you. He began to dry hump you before you both realized you could do without the extra layers of clothes between you. 

Meanwhile, Peter’s pants tightened at the thought of another man was going to be able to see how you writhed under their touch once they found that sweet spot on their neck. He reminisced on the memory of you moaning his name in utter bliss on repeat. He found himself reaching for his buckle and suddenly his hand was in his boxers, palming himself before raising his cock outside of the clothing. 

He doesn’t remember the last time he had you in his room so he reached over for the pictures of you he had taken that day in August, all saved in the drawer of his night stand.

Peter slipped through his favorites, finding the one of you smiling at the camera with his cum on your breasts. He remembered snapping this right after he finished, wanting to capture this moment forever. His cum still dropping a little bit off your chin with his free hand cupping your breast. He never told you this, but Peter adored your smile. You were always so expressive through your eyes and loved how you smiled at him.

After he shaked off the mere idea of another man recreating this position you, he started stroking his dick to this photo, face slack with awe of how radiant you looked in the most pornographic context. He let out breathy moans until he scoured for another and threw his head back at what he found next. 

A photo of you on top of him, attempting to bite back your moans because you were afraid of looking stupid on camera. He remembered assuring you that the camera loved you before rocking his hips up into yours. 

Peter’s thumb flicked over his tip as his pre-cum began to spurt out, reminiscing how your pussy would feel around him. He loved the breathy moans you had in this position because of how concentrated you were on rocking on him. But like most things, he liked taking control in this position even more so that you could just let yourself go and fuck yourself on him. 

Looking at the wetness on his tip, he thought about if you were here how you would blow him. He missed the feeling of your lips around his head, swirling your tongue to tease him and lap up the precum before deepthroating him. 

He began to lose himself in the memory of you and fucked his fist, moaning out your name. Behind his eyelids all he could see was those few moments he rocked his hips into your face with you gagging around his penis trying not to choke. He wasn’t adamant about face fucking you at first, but after seeing how well you took him the first few times, it just kinda happened one day. 

He was crying out to the memory of how it felt to hold your cheeks, looking up at him for approval while he came undone right in front of you, tears streaming out and unsteady breathing from the pace he was going at, but the memory of seeing your tear stained, cum stained face with runny makeup once he was finished caused him to unravel.

He sighed, coming out of his high looking at his cum drying up on his hand, lower stomach and thigh, disappointed at himself realizing that one, you weren’t here and two, that you were probably doing it with who ever the fuck your boyfriend was.

Tom. What kind of name is Tom anyway? Peter scoffed at the thought as he wiped himself off. He knew he was being petty but he didn’t want to rationalize it because he was still extremely jealous, and knew he had to put in a little more effort if he wanted attention from you, or even taking you back all for himself again.

He considered it, but decided to leave you alone, at least when it came to explicitly asking. Peter wasn’t sure if he could ever leave you alone, not when you’re right across the hall from him. 

He still remembers how shy you were when you first met him, and he adored you from then on, loving how you increasingly opened up to him before eventually returning his advances. And even though he would never admit this either, he also loved the side of you that became confident now that you were sure he was here to stay. He thought it was ironic that you’d be so quick to move on but it wasn’t surprising. 

Peter knew you were a gorgeous girl, the way you talked about college with a face like yours, was just unrealistic to him, it was unsettling but unsurprising when he saw who you brought home that night. Part of him wishes he wasn’t so afraid to claim you as his, but part of him, the more rational part, knew it was for the better. 

Peter didn’t like beating himself up over you, it felt very juvenile, but he couldn’t help it. He missed you and had to throw himself in other distractions in the meanwhile. 

The operative word being meanwhile because he was hoping Tom wouldn’t be around for long. 

He sighed before changing out of his clothes to shower and looked at his Spider suit in the closet as he rummaged around for a fresh change of clothes. 

Peter usually takes advantage of when Ben is at school to remain vigilant in keeping New York a little bit safe. But more often his reasoning has shifted. It’s less of a convenience thing and more of a distraction, now that you’ve been creating distance between you two. When he’s patrolling and actually catches bad guys, he doesn’t think about you or how fucked up the entire situation is, or even how he mistreated you. 

-

Halloween 

Peter was currently just exiting one of the quieter neighborhoods, walking Ben back to their home after a long night of trick-or-treating from the neighborhood's uptown and even in the one he had grown up in by visiting Aunt May briefly. He had been exhausted (still, flattered) by the long-winded compliments of his spider suit, because it was the one time of year he could get away with wearing it alongside a bunch of Spidey fanboys. They had just passed the subway stop closest to their complex until he heard a familiar voice calling to him. 

-

“Baby, are you sure you can even walk right now?” Your boyfriend inquired about your stumbling footsteps on the subway. You had just got back from your friend’s party that got cut short due to getting broken up by campus safety.

As you stepped out of the cart you slung your arm around his shoulder as he held your waist, being cinched together by the smooth fabric of your Playboy Bunny costume.

It had been a little more riskier than what you were used to for Halloween so you had pre-gamed before leaving for some liquid courage to walk the streets of NYC and around your peers in the tiny black leotard with your cleavage plunging out of it and black pantyhose to match. 

Tom thought the white bow tie choker, matching wrist cuffs and black ears on your head were an adorable touch and couldn’t wait to fuck you with only those remaining. 

To compliment your look, Tom was dressed up as Hugh Heffner to accompany your vixen look, red robe, sailor hat, pipe and all. You were admittedly turned on at how tacky he looked because he pulled it off oh-so well. You looked up from focusing on getting back up on your feet to meet his eyes and his cocky grin. You were a bit drunk and the black stilettos you were wearing were not helping, but nothing you couldn’t handle before the night was over. 

“Yes baby I’m fine.” You drag out causing Tom to raise his eyebrows as he was even more unconvinced. He helped you keep your steps somewhat straight and continued to hold on tight to your waist. His eyes kept flickering up and down at your body causing you to giggle. 

“What?” You say, knowing he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off you all night. Once he had seen you to pick you up from your apartment, he didn’t even want to leave. 

“You know what,” He rolled his eyes, taking a fake hit from his pipe before licking his lips looking at you again. You giggled at how silly he was being before he spoke again. 

“I’ve been wanting to take you out of this since I saw you in it.” He said before attacking the side of your neck and nibbling on your ear. You lightly shrieked as you guys finally made your way up the steps from the subway stop.

“Tom, stop there’s people around,”  You try moving away, slightly out of breath but you only give him more access as he pulls you closer and smothers your neck. 

He gropes your ass playing with the tail on your suit before resting his hands on the small of your back before anyone could flash you two a look. He was peppering your neck and jawline in kisses causing you to gasp before you could remind him, more firmly now. 

“We’re literally one block from my apartment,” You meet his eyes before you dodge his kiss to tease him. His lips landed on your cheeks instead of your lips causing him to bite you and you giggling once again from surprise. 

You two continue to walk in the direction of your complex and you notice a very familiar figure next to a short brown haired boy carrying a jack-o-lantern full of candy. You recognized the voice as he joked around his son and your suspicions were confirmed when he called his name.

Before you could think, you yelled out and quickened your pace with Tom now straggling behind.

“Peter,” You shouted but not too loud as it was getting late. You almost sounded relieved to see him, it had been a while since you guys had last hooked up. You tried not to think too long about it as you were in an established relationship with Tom now, but you were only human. 

-

Peter whipped his head around as he heard your voice and his eyes widened at the sight of you before you hugged him, smelling the alcohol off your lips. 

“Hi,” you exclaimed before getting off of him and looking to his son just as happily, “Hi Ben, how are you guys?” You had the widest smile on your face right now as Tom caught up, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“Hey, sorry man she’s a little,” Before Tom can finish and before Peter can roll his eyes at the gaudy display of a costume he has on, you interrupt. 

“Oh yeah,” You pause before scanning Peter’s face “I’m sorry guys I just wanted to say hi, what were your costumes this year?” You rambled on before you could stop.

Peter chuckled knowing you do this when you’re nervous, especially around him, but he got distracted while his eyes scanned your cleavage, your waist, then your legs that had seemed to be even more elongated in your tight pantyhose. 

He felt his pants tighten a bit seeing a glimpse of your white fluffy tail and the dip of your breasts when you bent down to listen to his son speak. 

Realizing that Ben was speaking, he quickly got out of his thoughts to listen. 

“I’m Mario.” Ben said.

“Mario? Well where is Luigi?” You exclaimed, making him smile.

“My friend earlier was Luigi but he had to go, his bedtime was way earlier than mine.” Ben answered, making both you and Tom giggle. Peter interjected. 

“Yeah cause Luigi’s dad isn’t as cool as I am.” He states, ruffling his hair causing Ben to smile up at him. You watched their exchange and felt butterflies in your stomach as you met Peter’s eyes again. His eyes started to droop with the same lust from the first time you two met as he scanned your body before meeting your face again. 

And it’s as if God hates Peter or Tom had mind reading powers because he started to hug you from behind again before resting his head in the crook of your neck. You smiled at the touch and Peter swore he wanted to vomit. Not because it looked overtly sexual, but because of how purely affectionate it was. 

He was not only jealous of Tom at this moment because of how obscenely sexy you were in this costume, but because he could get away with doing this corny matching couples stuff with you, even if he did look like the world’s biggest douchebag to Peter right now. 

Not only that, but the PDA in broad daylight like some horny young adults because you were. Peter would never tell you explicitly but he knew you guys couldn’t be together because of how dramatic the difference of where you were in your life right now. 

Peter already experienced the things you have, and while he loves listening to you he just can’t realistically tie himself to you in the way that you want.

He knows you know that though. 

You shake Tom off quickly due to the fact that you were beginning to feel his erection behind you. 

“And you, Peter? Oh my gosh are you Spider-Man?” You exclaim, looking at the suit behind his sweater and sweatpants. 

Peter had to be shaken out of his thoughts as he had a brief moment of fear until he remembered he dressed up like this today on purpose. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah just because of all the pictures I used to take.” Peter said scratching the back of his neck, hoping it was a convincing enough lie. 

“You used to take pictures of Spidey? Oh that’s sick man,” Tom says with a genuine smile, but Peter wanted nothing more than to web it shut.

“And it’s a really convincing costume, this is so cool Mr….” Tom trails off as you bit your lip watching for Peter’s response. 

“Parker.” He states before shaking his hand. “And you are?” He furrowed his eyebrows at Tom as you rolled your eyes at him, silently begging Peter to be polite. 

“Tom,” He smiled, causing Peter to return a tight-lipped one in response. 

“This is my son Ben,” Ben smiled and gave a polite wave back. 

-

The rest of the way back is filled with polite small talk, mainly between you and Ben talking about how much you love Halloween, Mario Kart, dressing up and how much you both could do without school. 

Peter had forgotten about the bond you and Ben built from the countless times he asked you to watch him when his Spider-Man business interfered with his personal time this summer. He was attracted at how easily you could carry a conversation with his son but it seems as though Tom felt the same way. 

He wanted to gag in jealousy at how Tom probably saw a future with you. Peter tried to stay focused on the conversation, but he repeatedly got distracted at how he watched you speak. His eyes lit up as he held onto you and made sure to focus on every single step, it almost started to feel like a competition as Peter was doing the same. 

Peter gets fed up watching this subtle display of how much he loves you again because of how it’s killing him. Even though he would never tell you how he can’t give that to you. 

As much as Peter wanted to hate the kid, he, and any other fool with eyes, could see how much Tom cares about you.

To Peter’s simultaneous dismay and relief you all reach the floor of your apartment and say your goodbyes.

“Goodnight guys,” You said, mainly sobered up from the riveting conversation you had with Ben and the consistent attention from Tom and Peter pulling you in opposite directions. 

You pretended not to notice in the shy way you usually did when you brushed off their affections, but Peter knew you knew. 

Peter wasn’t sure if Tom caught on but doubted it, as it was probably far-fetched to assume his girlfriend had history with her neighbor almost twice her age. 

“Goodnight,” Ben and Peter call back, Ben giving you a genuine smile while Peter only gives a half smile, you suspect it’s from jealousy as Tom lingers beside you to wait for you to unlock the door.

It is completely out of jealousy, mixed with guilt, resentment and fear. 

Peter opened the door for Ben to go in and looked behind him to see that you and Tom had already slipped in, hearing your giggles from behind the wall already.

He cursed his superhuman hearing ability for nights like this where hearing another man make you moan was the last thing he wanted to hear. 

-

Tom was seated on your couch and you were seated on Tom. You were grinding up against his hips. 

“Fuck,” He groaned out as you continued while leaving love bites on his neck, returning the aggression he had expressed earlier today. He threw his head back before facing back up to meet your eyes widening them.  

“You like that?“ You responded by nibbling on his ear. 

“No, wait yes, hold on babe,” He said before pulling his phone out of his robe pocket. Tom paused your movements reading the text and groaned out. 

“What?” You ask, expecting disappointment. 

“I have to go,” He said, clearly not happy about it either.

“Why?” You whine, grinding harder on him before he smacks your ass to stop, causing you to gasp out in pleasure. 

“My group for one of my classes have this huge project due tomorrow and we still haven’t edited like 2 hours worth of footage.” He exasperated, running his hands up and down your arms.

“It can’t wait?” You sigh out, not expecting to get blue balled by your boyfriend while you’re dressed like a sex symbol. 

“We haven’t even put together all the footage so no, it can’t wait. Plus everything is on my laptop so I have to go now, and wake up early if I want everything to go smoothly.” Tom explained, causing you to cry out in defeat.

“Tom, you’re just leaving me like this?” You sigh out as he wiggles your body off of him while he calls his uber. 

“I don’t want to babe. I’m sorry I’ll make it up to you, tomorrow?” He says before leaning back in your space to kiss your cheek.

You remain pouted as he kisses the back of your hand that he was holding.

“I swear, we’ll be done with all of it by the time it’s due, then I can come over after and we’ll have all night together.” He reminds you. 

You sighed out, rolling your eyes but nod in agreement, knowing one night without him wouldn’t hurt. 

“Okay.” You say.

“Okay.” He smiles back, kissing your cheek. 

You walked Tom down to the curbside of your building to get picked up and tried to hide your disappointment because you knew he had a valid reason to leave. It just sucked so bad for you that it was after a night you had been looking forward to. 

You say your goodbye to Tom as he gets in his uber and walk back up to your complex, finding it funny how you were in your worn out bunny slippers with your costume of tonight. 

When you walked up the steps and past Peter’s apartment to yours, you were reminded of all the memories of your routine that you abided by because it was an excuse to see him regularly, regardless of what he considered you. You sighed before going back to your apartment to get your phone, staring at the contact card on the screen. You thought back to all the time you’ve spent with Tom in the last two months, fondly, but remembered all the times you had wished it was Peter instead. You missed him more than you realized and tonight brought all those emotions back. 

-

After Peter put Ben to bed, he sighed thinking about your costume again. He laid down on his bed wondering if he should text you but knew it was pointless as Tom was gonna spend the night. 

Or so he thought.

He was just about to shower before he heard his phone ding and turned over to see it was you.

now: i saw u

now: the way u were looking at me earlier 

now: tom left

now: can i come over

Peter ran his hands through his hair not believing what was happening right now. Morally, he knew this was fucked up, but when it came to you so far? He hadn’t been following the rules. 

Before he could think rationally and the more he thought about your costume being still intact and untouched (for the most part) from your boyfriend, he texted back.

now: Christ y/n

now: Yes. 

now: Come over. 

Not even a minute passed before he heard that familiar knock, not too loud so that you wouldn’t cause Ben to stir awake. 

Peter opened the door and tried to hide his relief and excitement of how you had finally been the one to reach out to him. 

-

The door in front of you opened to reveal Peter, still wearing his costume while you were in yours.

“He couldn’t handle you could he?” He smirked, walking backwards to lead you into his apartment before shutting the door behind you. 

“Shut up Peter,” you rolled your eyes before wrapping your arms around his shoulder to kiss him. Your back was against the door, leaning your hips towards Peter feeling his forming erection through the spandex material. Peter knew where this was going so he returned the gesture by groping your ass and wrapping his hands around the back of your thighs.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Isn’t he your boyfriend now?” He stopped before continuing any further. You scanned his face for any hint of condescension or humor but found none, this stone face staring back at you. 

You nodded, slowly to make him understand that this was your decision and not an act of drunkenness, as you’ve mostly sobered up by now. It made you feel guilty but you couldn’t express just how much you needed him right now, at least not verbally and not to him. 

“Peter, I want you, right here and right now.” You say, making sure your voice remained steady in the confidence of your words as you stared into his eyes. You played with the hair at the nape of his neck affectionately as you watched him scan you for any hint of reluctance. 

After finding none, he kissed you back, gently, cupping your face before you kissed him back hungrily and deepening his action. 

He broke the kiss to say one word. “Jump,” He commanded. You listened, jumping into his hands so that he could lead you to the bedroom. He cupped your ass to carry you, but that didn’t stop him from kneading the flesh which made you squirm under his touch already. 

He laid you on your back, missing the way you looked underneath him. 

“I liked the tail.” He said as you looked up at him expectedly. His comment caused you to giggle before turning over on your stomach to tease him by wiggling your hips above the mattress. 

“Prove it Spidey.” You sigh out, knowing you were driving him insane by not only doing this. His pants tightened at the fact that you were going to fuck him in his actual suit, not even knowing about his alter ego. All Peter wanted to do after a month of not even seeing you was get his hands on you and inside you. 

“Baby girl I’m gonna do a lot more than prove it,” He growled low in your ear as he lined up his hips to yours. He landed a loud smack on your ass causing you to moan out, still accustomed to his force.

“You know,” You turn back your face to meet his, “I’ve always thought Spider-Man was kinda cute.” You start, attempting to tease him as you watch his stare harden. 

“And now I get him all to myself tonight.” You bite your bottom lip at the way Peter almost moaned out at your comment accompanied by the way you grinded on his cock.

You gasp at the sudden draft of your core, realizing that Peter had ripped your pantyhose and moved the crotch of your suit and thong to the side for access.

“Peter,” you hiss out at his sudden aggression. 

“Bunny,” He moaned out, rubbing his fingers at your slick, causing you to shake at his expert movements. 

“Turn around, I wanna see you squirm when I eat you out.” He commanded to which you obliged. 

You widen the entrance of your legs and sit up on your elbows, watching him place your legs over his shoulders. He chuckled, removing the slippers off your feet and looked at you once again. 

“I wish you kept on the heels.” He stated, throwing you a mock pout.

“And I wish you didn’t rip my tights.” You pouted back, causing him to chuckle lowly. 

“They were in the way.” He smirked at you, causing your stomach to backflip. 

You feel the fabric of his suit underneath him, sitting right beneath the back of your knees as your legs hang off his back. You clench your thighs around his head and his groans out, being intoxicated with the heat in between your legs. 

He watched you intently as you had your mouth parted slightly, watching his every move like it was still new to you.

He took briefly your nub in between his teeth, making you choke at the sensation, before rolling it on his tongue. Then, Peter flattened his tongue against your pussy, making you arch your back at the cool swipe he had just licked off of you. 

“Peter, please stop teasing me,” You whine out. He looked back up at you smirking, before pressing his lips to yours and getting back to work on making you orgasm. He settled his hand right on your pelvic area while we went to work on pussy, thrusting in two fingers at a time while sucking on your clitoris. 

You moaned out, struggling to contain it as he picked up his pace before you heard and felt him detach from you.

“Since you asked so nicely,” He said when he locked eyes with you. He watched you writhe under his touch as he added a third finger. You bucked up your hips moaning out his name in ecstasy, missing the way they filled you up. He curled them inside of you and trusted harder, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. 

You clenched around him, feeling the tension forming in your lower stomach unable to hold your orgasm any longer. 

“Peter,” you stutter out, struggling to get him to slow down. “Please, I’m gonna cum,” You cry, twisting the sheets underneath your hand before reaching out for his hair, running your fingers through his hair. 

He moaned at the way you pulled his head forward. Shaking his head in between your thighs, Peter held them tighter around his head and shook his head side to side continuing to lap you up like you were his last meal. The bass in his voice caused vibrations to go wave through your whole body, making you grind against his mouth rougher. 

You felt that tension in your stomach disappear, clenching around his fingers panting out before you could catch your breath. Peter slowed down his movements, eating the remaining cum you had just released before getting off his knees to face you again. 

He quickly removed his suit, eager to have you in his presence again. You watched him still coming down from your high and sat up to unzip yourself. He watched you confused, and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Taking off my costume.” You answered, raising your eyebrows at him. 

“No you’re not.” He shook his head, chuckling at your confidence in your answer. He stood up, naked making your mouth go dry at his body. 

He sauntered back to the bed, caressing your body in the costume, smirking when he ran his hands down your ass and thigh when he felt the tail once again. 

“You look so cute in this bunny, I don’t wanna see this go to waste.” He hovered above you with his hands on either side of your face planted in the bed. 

He raised his hand to your lips, asking for entrance. You opened your mouth as he put his index and middle finger on your tongue, wrapping your tongue around him and holding his palm to place them deeper in your mouth, You swirl your tongue around him meeting his eyes as he looks at you mesmerized. 

Peter parted his lips in amazement watching you deepthroat his fingers, coated in you. 

“You’re fucking incredible baby,” He sighed out before you released his fingers with a pop. 

You bring him in for a kiss as he holds onto the back of your knee bringing it closer to your stomach. When he moved to your neck, he repeated the action on your other leg. 

“Do you still want this?” He asks again for reassurance. This time you’re not sure if he’s asking just you.

“Do you want this?” You ask him, placing emphasis on you. You make him face you as he brings your knees to his shoulders to line up his cock at his entrance. 

“Of course.” Peter answered back genuinely. He said it in that soft voice he reserved for you when you two spend quality time together, the one that made you melt when you remembered you couldn’t have him the way you wanted to. 

“I missed you.” You answered back just as low, meeting his forehead and nose with yours. 

“I missed you too.” He said, shortly before thrusting into you. You clenched around him at the new sensation, feeling yourself stretch out.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He grunted as he leaned down to engulf you into a kiss. You can hear the wetness of yourself as he continues to thrust back in, fighting back whimpers due to how you weren’t used to his size. 

“So tight for me baby, you’re all for me.” He sobbed out as your body rocked back and forth from his force. The sounds of the back of your thighs hitting his hips filled the room as you whined out his name, strewn together with other obscenities of begging him to fuck you like he meant it. 

He obliged, causing your breasts to fall out of your top. He watched as your tits rocked back and forth with you below his body, face contorting with pleasure as if this was the first time again. 

Peter looked at the place where your bodies met, looking at how you clenched around him like you never wanted to let him go and the moisture from his pre cum and your previous orgasm collecting around his cock. He moaned at the sight, vision getting hazy from how you look under him, how you sounded and how you felt. 

“Love the way you cream around my cock, God I missed you so fucking much.” He stammered, voice sounding guttural and desperate for you. He thrusted at a faster pace, removing his hands from your legs and going back to the previous position of his hands planted beside your face. 

It caused your body to fold underneath him as your legs were still wrapped around his shoulders, giving him easy access to hit your G-spot on repeat. 

You could barely speak, overstimulated by his constant praises and the way he moved your body however he wanted to. All you could get out coherently was his name, on repeat. You sounded drunk off his cock, and he loved it.

“Peter,” You mewled out. 

“The way you say my name is unforgettable, baby” He started, slamming into you at a rate you knew would leave you sore. Your body tensed up at the way he held you down, loving the way he knew how to work you the way he wanted to.

“Tell me what you want, tell me what you want and it’s yours.” He continued, knowing you were close by the way you pulsated around him. 

“Cum inside me please. I’m so close.” You choke out. He nods, throwing his head forward in relief as he slows down his thrusts, before you feel him twitch after you clenched once more. 

Your heavy breathing filled the air as he collapsed, laying his sweaty body next to yours. His hair stuck on his forehead from the sweat. He raised himself on his elbow and brought his fingers back to your center. You felt his cum trickle down your thigh before he swiped his fingers and brought them to your lips again. 

“Open,” He commanded. You listened, repeating your earlier action to deepthroat his fingers as he hummed back in content. 

You sit back up to unzip your costume again, believing Peter was satisfied but being mistaken. He stopped your fingers by wrapping his hands around yours. 

“I haven’t even wrecked this costume yet, what makes you think we’re done?” He chuckled, causing the crinkles by his eyes to return.

You roll your eyes in response. “Are you ever satisfied, Parker?” You exasperate, admitting defeat by allowing his hands to engulf yours. 

He shrugged, “I will be after I see you hop.”

A/N: LMFAOOO please let me know if yall think a part 3 and 4 are even worth it after reading this bc im very self conscious of it! 😭 also you can interpret tom as an OC or tom holland i just figured it would be impossible to imagine his peter as a DILF so it was easy to just insert him as the bf... anyway i hope yall like it i've literally been working on this since i posted daddy issues jshdnsjnd

[yandere-daze]

hey heyy, i dunno if this is alright,, but i just needed to tell someone what happened to me while playingg T-T

(c.w. long post, maybe a rant..maybe, possibly bad english, i am frantic writing this ;-;)

for context,, its been almost 2 months since ive last touched enstars(but i never deleted it, i could never!!), but then i heard about the new collab with sanrio with the new cute cards, so me being a sucker for cute things, immediately logged in nd started preaparing to get the cards....

sooo i was in the middle of playing holy angels carol(i was trying to complete the rewards for diass),, when i started to hear a hushed voiced of Mam!!! im not sure what he said but im pretty sure its HIS voice because i literally have him in my home screen (im a simp for him, sadly) ,,, obviously i was so confused because, why did i hear mams voice???? when the card that had its skill activated was eichis card???? like shouldn't i supposed to hear eichis voice????????

at first i thought it was jus a bug, because the game was just newly updated like 10 mins ago,, but then it happened again!! multiple times that is!!!!! this time it was while i was playing ensemble live (and its not just eichis card skill he spoke over but even my other cards ;-;)... so obviously me, an easily spooked person, just immediately closed the game (i was getting really bad scores and combos anyways because i was getting distracted by him ;-;)

but u know the weirdest part of all of this, is that,,, i dont have any MaM card in my lineup while i was playing earlier,,,so technically i shouldn't be hearing his voice AT ALL,,, i have his 5 star card fully leveled up but unfortunately,, he was overshadowed by my growing collection of stronger 5 stars, so i had no choice but to put him in the lounge T-T,,,,,

anyways,,,im so sorry if this is too long,,, i tried to summarize everything that happened,, but this is all ive got ;-;

still tysm if you even bothered to read thiss,, it just felt good to let this out to someone,,my friends dont play enstars so icant really tell them this ;-;

thats all!! hope u have a nice day/night!!! take care <33

I'm just going to go out on a limb and assume that engstars added one of the features that jp has had for a few months now : sometimes characters will randomly speak up when you play a live, even when they're aren't activating a skill

For example Tsukasa might say "nice combo!" while you're playing or Wataru scares you half to death by yelling "AMAZING" sjdjdjd so don't worry, it's not a bug or anything like that, just a new feature added after the update ^^

[zeleniafic]

All of the salt ?s for HP?

ALL THE SALT?! Omg. You've answered my wildest dreams, I love being salty on main tysm~

1 - What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

As far as canon ships go? Romione, honestly. I don't hate it I just don't see the appeal, personally. I don't think they're actually the best fit for each other, romantically speaking, but I won't like... refuse to read a fic over that or something. I just keep putting them both in other pairings when I write HP fics LOL

2 - Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Marauder x marauder ships. I'm at a point now where I'll read wolfstar if the premise of the fic outside the ship is REALLY appealing to me but I genuinely have always hated Marauder x Marauder ships of any combo, since the very beginning. I just really value relationships with a deep level of love that isn't romantic, and I think adding romance between any of them cheapens it, IMO. The number of times I've been called homophobic for this opinion is absolutely staggering considering that I aM GAY askdfjgnkfl

3 - Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Honestly probably, I've been on here since I was like 13 and I used to be way more impulsive LMFAO, but I can't remember anything specific for HP tbfh. Marvel is usually what makes me go “nope I can’t do this” and unfollow someone asjkdfgn

4 - Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

P much covered this already I think buuut since we're all OC people here I WILL get messy and say that I dry heave every time I run across an OC fic on the archive that's, like, a currently enrolled Hogwarts student....... and their professor??? Why is that such a fad. When will it die. PLEASE let it die.

5 - Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Not for HP I don't think.

6 - 13

Answered here!

14 - Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

It's not as cringey as ppl make it out to be now??? Like, not in the JKR sense — there's some deeply rooted ethical issues in the way some of her political thinking seeped into the fine print of the world she made, but like the story itself... idk I just see a lot of "ugh just grow up" attitudes about it now and it's silly to me. For all its flaws, HP explored a lot of deep themes and introduced that to a lot of kids. I was one of those kids from a very broken home who got to see themselves in Harry and grow up with him and, WOW THIS GOT TOO DEEP ANYWAY what I'm saying is it's not just a silly kid's story and it's not as simple as "find another book to read" like so many people say now. The world is so vast and Hogwarts really did become HOME at such a young age for a lot of people, and walking away from the emotional investment in that is a lot less simple than ppl want to act.

15 - Unpopular opinion about the manga/show movies?

The movies got a few (minor) things better than the books. Idk why the wardrobe always comes to mind first but sometimes I'm writing fic and I realize that the "students wearing muggle clothing outside of class/formal events" originated with the movies and not the books and I just cannot lmfao I refuse to accept the robes 24/7 give these children some COMFORT and INDIVIDUALITY can u tell i was not sent to a school with a uniform?? i think u can tell

16 - If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

The names of Harry's children. If I could change ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY, that would be it. Do not even get me started holy shit

17 - Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Percy dies instead of Fred, and the "urban myth" (I guess???) that Hermione was originally supposed to be endgame with Fred happens. But Zel how does that make more sense than Romione to you, she also argued with Fred a lot— LISTEN they have more in common in terms of how they approach their goals and challenges in life, they have a certain shared ambitious quality (though reaching for dif end goals, obviously) that Ron doesn’t share (and that’s not an insult to him!!! I just think what he wants in life and how he wants to get there is v different!! don’t come at me ajsdfl), and the back and forth was FUNNY, the GoF movie scene banter with Hermione right before they put their names in for the tournament has lived RENT FREE in my head since I was in middle school okay it's too late I am too far gone—

18 — Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

Lmfao no??? That's such a silly concept, ship what you like, ignore what you don't, that is the secret to happy fandom life~~ **Snily shippers excluded from this sentiment, pls seek therapy~

19 — What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Like I said I don't interact much with fandom outside the writing sphere so with THAT in mind... I feel like HP fic (and Game of Thrones, tbfh) draws a lot of wildly pretentious feedback??? More than other fandoms I've written for??? I get the strangest reviews sometimes, people write like they're one of my college professors grading my work and have a bunch of back-handed compliments and it's SO ODD. I almost prefer the straight up hate reviews I get in other fandoms lol.

20 — What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Luna and Neville. Forever canon in my heart they are simply TOO PRECIOUS together.

21 — What are your thoughts on crack ships?

Uh. I have none, essentially? Not my cup of tea to pursue a lot but the memes make me laugh. Drapple is unmatched

22 — Popular character you hate?

Rhymes with grape.

23 — Unpopular character you love?

P much covered already.

24 — Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

The only people I know who haven't read HP are old church friends who weren't allowed as kids bc it has magic in it and was therefore “satanic”. (See also: Chronicles of Narnia. Despite Aslan literally being furry jesus.) It's been over a decade since then so I hope they've read it since then, among hopefully some other lifestyle changes... 💀

25 — How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

In my ideal HP ending, Harry winds up working as a professor after helping round up all the MIA Death Eaters and playing a season or two of pro quidditch whilst getting some intense therapy. Fuck that ministry noise. Harry James Potter is composed 99% of Problems With Authority, you cannot tell me that boy turned into a magical cop. Who’s gonna stop the guy who saved the world from chasing baddies independently????? NO ONE

26 — Most shippable character?

Sirius. Is he the most emotionally available? Now that's a different question

27 — Least shippable character?

Rhymes with ape.

[bloededhoine]

hi! I loved the last headcanons I requested so I'm sending more, hope u don't mind and sorry if this is late and if it is not Friday for u anymore. ☾, ■ and ♡ for Morvran (coz the one u wrote is the most amazing thing) and ✿ for Ves. Thank you so much and btw I abolutely love your witcher memes

you sent this 6 november. it is currently 12 december (by time i finished it its 11 january on my god) i am so fucking sorry but here you go! also the ves one.. yes.

☾ - sleep headcanon

■ -  bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

♡ - romantic headcanon

✿ - sex headcanon

list

sleep headcanon

morvran is generally a pretty light sleeper, to the point where someone walking loudly outside will wake him up

so, he takes it upon himself to be properly tired before he goes to bed so he'll sleep through the night

this is usually accomplished by riding (a horse or a diplomat? who's to say)

good god it's the third bullet point how did i already make this sexual

alright...

he totally gives me monogrammed matching pyjama set vibes

like they're a mahogany coloured silk with a little MV embroidered in cursive

ciri loves making fun of them

but he's comfy DAMNIT

he sleepwalks... and didn't think it worth mentioning until emhyr hired a witcher to deal with the palaces supposed wraith problem...and of course he didn't want the city of golden towers to have a reputation as a hotbed for monsters.... but he eventually decided he liked his status as the local ghost

he keeps a dream diary.

like most of these hcs are based on tiny details in some obscure translation, but trust me bro morvran voorhis keeps a dream diary

he plays the dapper dude game, but with enough sambuca he will absolutely tell you why journaling your dreams is the most important thing you can do

he wears slippers. i know this for a fact. they match his pyjamas and he leaves them right next to his bed every night

of course, this started with morvran's father making sure he was always prepared for a quick getaway

even after the assassination he just couldn't shake the habit. he also always stays on the ground or first floor and won't fall asleep in a room unless the windows open from the inside. precautions, you know?

great now i'm sad

bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

okay here's the thing you need to understand about morvran voorhis: he did not have any autonomy for the first 20 odd years of his life

growing up in the imperial palace doesn't leave a lot of room for individuality. sure, he had expensive toys, soft fabrics, and the nicest governesses and most intelligent tutors in the empire, but none of it was his

even after his father died, he couldn't leave because he was getting married off to some girl he'd never even met!

so, by time he had command of the alba division and, by extension, his own life, he got creative

i'm talking a tapestry of his favoured stallion that takes up an entire wall

and a custom plaque of the merchant's guild insignia on the mantle

and a hook right next to his bed to put his medallion

and his own gwent card, framed

and a map of nilfgaard he annotates himself, with markings such as "bastard who stole fire scorpion, cheats with scoia'tael deck", "pretty girl witcher", "annoying witcher", "guild army contact", "actual 25 centimetres, take portal or carriage"

and a desk he never actually uses because it's too orderly and looks too nice to mess up

should all those mismatched patriotic and egotistical things look good together? no, no they should not. but do they?? fuck to the yes! our mans knows the importance of a colour scheme!

when you first walk in his quarters, it looks kind of like most of the others in alba, except with a few extra empty coffee mugs

but he HAS THOSE MOTHERFUCKING DETAILS

i don't know why i'm so invested in this i just fucking KNOW it's true

he's a neat freak. i feel like we all knew this.

there's a designated spot for everything, and don't you dare mess up the system

also if you drip water on his rug he will 100% throw your ass out onto the street

romantic headcanon

now, i'm almost exclusively romantically attracted to women, but i would marry voorhis and not just for the money

he definitely has a huge romantic streak that he really loves indulging. buying flowers, writing love letters, all of that, he genuinely enjoys it

yes, he's a busy man, but he makes the little moments count! he definitely bugs assire for a new xenovox like every week because he breaks them so often

morvran voorhis is a massive flirt. i will not be taking questions

i told myself i wouldn't work in my voorhis used to be a sex worker hc in this, but you know what he did and that's important to him!

the flirting is definitely an issue in relationships, especially with people who didn't know him before he was a commander.

i'm not saying he's two faced, he just has very distinct business and pleasure personas that he doesn't want to mix

he also sees relationships as fairly contractual. he gave those diplomats a little of ~this~ because it helped him succeed. somewhere along the way he began to enjoy the feelings of courting someone, but it was largely because he knows you're always better at work you enjoy.

ciri has called him out on it a few times... he was not happy

how dare you ask this man to be vulnerable he is a BOTTOM

but i honestly think that if there is someone he wants, he will make himself worthy of them. voorhis is nothing if not confident and determined, and i think those are more powerful than the massive daddy issues and praise kink

he really just puts in effort and concern to all aspects of a relationship

like dates? unreal

he always starts by going to the vegelbud estate, partly because he is desperate for his peers' approval and partly because he wants to see if this lucky person is a good match

he also knows all the places around the estate where wildflowers grow. i told you he's a romantic.

sex headcanon

i'm about to be incredibly gay on main oh good god jimmy don't read this please

ves is a dom and a top. acceptable titles include Sir, Master, or Lieutenant and you better fucking use them

ves definitely gets around. i mean, just look at her. the energy is immaculate and she knows what she's doing

overstim. just... one is not enough. shaking is not enough. begging is not enough. being completely fucked out and not even able to manage any words while sobbing? that might do. (with consent!)

not that ves doesn't love to hear some begging, she definitely does. it's just not going to motivate or demotivate her to do anything, she already has it all planned out

that plan includes hearing someone beg for her strap even as she's deep enough inside them they can feel it in their belly

good god i'm really exposing all my kinks

anyways let's keep it going!

she's an amazing rigger

not just in technique, she knows exactly when to be gentle versus firm and create art out of a body and some ropes

ves bites

just grabbing a handful of hair and tilting their head back so she can leave marks on their throat... mmhm yeah

i think she fucked geralt

like yeah you can have her fuck geralt in assassins of kings but i think she just did it anyway cause she was bored and smelled a bottom

he had a very good time

ves was eh

geralt's just far more submissive than ves's usual partners. i mean, she's used to handling 5 temerian guerillas. a singular witcher isn't even a challenge

surprisingly, she's quiet. spending 80% of her day within earshot of her father figure made this more of a necessity, but she can fashion an excellent gag for any parties who aren't worried about all of temeria hear them

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[outthefryingpan]

Your writing is amazing ! I'm a sucker for fluff personally,, so if I have to suggest something,, it'd be cuddles. Just cuddling after a long,, busy day. Maybe in Winter,, a specially cold day,, those are the best days for cuddling,, and more so if it's with such a hot (pfft) monster like Grillby ! Just giving ideas,, I'll be happily reading anything you update here next. Have a nice day. :)

Cold Nights

Pairing: Grillby/Reader

Rating: Everyone

Notes: I’m a sucker for that too! I very much enjoy this suggestion, thank you! Send more any time u like :^> This is set on the surface! Most of the pieces I write will be set this way unless stated otherwise.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can’t believe how late it is when you finally begin walking home. Pulling your phone out and pressing the home button tells you it’s only a few minutes away from midnight. Your feet ache, and you want nothing more than to just crawl into bed.

Luckily for you, it isn’t a long walk to Grillby’s from where you are, maybe a little over 5 minutes, but you really hadn’t anticipated it being this cold and blustery out. Then again, you didn’t anticipate your boss holding you back as late as she did either, so you use that as your excuse for being jacket-less. In reality, it probably wouldn’t have been much warmer out even if you did leave on time, but you’re just going to ignore that. You unceremoniously shove your phone back into your pocket and quicken your pace, holding your hands together in an attempt to conserve some of your already waning warmth. 

In hopes of distraction, you let your mind begin to wander. Initially your prerogative is “think warm thoughts”, but of course that only leads you to thinking of Grillby. It’s inevitable. He’s the warmest thing you can think of.

You think back to when he first opened up his bar on the surface, and how he would stay open all night, every night. The new influx of customers quickly overwhelmed him, and so he changed his hours to accommodate a new goal of his, one he’d adopted upon reaching the surface. He called it the, “not work myself to death” rule. You, nothing more than a new friend at the time, had laughed at that. It was one of the first jokes he’d made around you. You laugh again now, thinking about how horrible a job he’s done in sticking to his goal. Maybe it’s just unrealistic for him, you muse.

No, that isn’t fair. He drastically changed his hours when he first got here. Underground, he’d been open every day from noon to 3AM. How he’d managed a 15 hour work day every single day all by himself was absolutely beyond you, but he told you that down there, he really didn’t have much else to do. 

In a more private setting, after the two of you had grown closer, he confessed that when he lived underground, he felt a sense of obligation to be open as often as possible, to act as a sort of home base for those monsters who were struggling, or just needed someone to help stave off their loneliness. 

Here on the surface, things are better! But they’re a lot different too, a lot busier. And so, with some kind pushing from his friends, he had ultimately decided not only to tighten his hours, but to hire some help as well.

You consider that to be the start of a deeper relationship blossoming between the two of you. You had offered to wash dishes and help with cleanup, and he gratefully accepted. You started talking more, spending more time together, and... The rest is history, you suppose. 

Now, he takes Sundays off, and closes at 10PM on Mondays. His daily hours are still pretty packed, but he has more servers and kitchen staff to help out with them. 

Suddenly, you blink in surprise at yourself as that reminds you of something.

Today’s Monday! That means he should have closed a while ago! 

You sent him a text earlier when you found out you would be late home and told him not to worry, but you totally forgot that it was possible for you to end up working later than him. That is a rare occurrence. 

Well then! 

You become excited at your findings, but quickly realize they mean that he may be sleeping. Rats... You need to be quiet coming in, then.

A chatter sounds in your skull just as the bar comes into view. It isn’t quite snowing out, but the biting, billowing wind is strong enough to drain most of the heat from you. Your fingers feel numb as they blindly wiggle around in your pocket, looking for your keys even though you’re still a little ways away from the front door. By the time you reach it, you’re putting in a pretty significant amount of effort to minimize your shivering and get it unlocked. It’s situations like these that make you thankful to only have a few separate keys to keep track of on your key ring.

The door itself is pretty new, but still creaks lightly as you push it open. Then, you almost lose your grip on the knob when a particularly strong gust of wind shoves you in through the front door. You stumble forward. 

Startled as you are, it doesn’t take you long to recover, close the door firmly behind you, and lock it with a huff. You’re just glad no one is around to have seen your little blunder. Hand still on the door, you sigh out your relief. Grillby would definitely be alerted by the door swinging open and slamming into the wall. He’d be alerted if you face-planted into the hardwood flooring, too. 

After taking a moment to smooth yourself out and appreciate the internal temperature of the bar, you glance around the dark room. As you expected, tables and chairs are neat, lights are off, and not a speck of dust can be seen. Sometimes you wonder if Grillby gets off on extreme cleaning. You snicker quietly to yourself.

The rise in temperature is great compared to the freezing nightmare you’d endured outside, but it isn’t anywhere near enough to stop your shivering. So you beeline for the staircase that leads to Grillby’s apartment- or more accurately, your ticket to comfort. It’s a little hard to see, and you nearly trip once on the way up, but the reward you’re met with upon entering is well worth it.

Instantly, you’re flushed with a wave of warmth.

Grillby sits on the couch in the living room that faces the door, knuckle pressed to the side of his mouth and book in hand. Your entrance alerts him, and his head turns up so his eyes can meet yours. They look tired. Yours do too.

He can see you shivering still, and it makes him frown. However, the beginning of a small smile finds its way onto his face when he lifts a hand and waves you over. Both of you know what comes next. You step toward him eagerly. 

Without a word spoken between the two of you, he places the thick, old looking novel down on the table in front of him, and opens himself up to you. Rather than sitting next to him like he had expected, you opt for plopping down directly in his lap, arms around his shoulders and legs on either side of him. He lets out a surprised grunt, but it quickly dissolves into a chuckle as his arms find their way around your midsection. You relish in the warmth they offer.

“You’re cold.” He starts.

“You’re warm.” You reply, though it’s muffled by the fabric of his thin shirt. He hears you despite this, and a fiery brow quirks up. 

“Aren’t I always?” Grillby asks. You can hear the teasing smile in his voice, but nod against him regardless. Thanks to him, you can feel your shivers mostly subside.

“Yea, but I especially appreciate it when it’s freezing out.” Comes your voice once more. Sighing, you feel his arm begin to rub slowly up and down your back, a soothing, sweeping motion that transfers his heat to you even faster. Suddenly comfortable, you’re reminded of how totally exhausted you are.

“I always tell you to bring a coat.” He tries for a chastising tone, but can’t help that it comes out as soft as it does. His voice is just a mumble now, reaching your ears easily despite its low volume. This is in part because he’s taken the liberty of placing his cheek against your head.

“Heh..Yeah...” You concede, burrowing your face further into him. It’s a long moment before you speak again. “I didn’t think you’d be up. Aren’t you tired?” At this question you look up at him as much as your current position will allow, cheek still smooshed into his shoulder.

His response is low, and doesn’t come immediately, which kind of gives you an answer in itself: Yes.

“Mm... I am..” He confirms your suspicion. A little more quietly, he continues. “But you were still out, and...” The elemental’s head lazily tilts, and the flames constantly spiraling off of it follow the movement. You catch him glance out the window. As if wanting to help illustrate his point, another forceful gust of wind rattles it just slightly.

A little guilt twists your stomach. He always worries, and you should have known he would be waiting. You should’ve fought harder to leave on time. You expect he’s going to finish the thought, but you already know where he’s headed, so you preempt him.

“You didn’t need to wait up for me...” You say softly. 

The response you get is hushed, but still quite matter-of-fact.

“I did. I wanted to. ...I like going to bed with you.” His tone is so simple, so casual, so... sweet. He’s just speaking honestly, yet it affects you so much. The guilt you feel morphs into adoration, and the feeling makes you grin. You’re sure he can feel it against him, but duck your head back down anyway.

“OK.” Your voice is muffled once more. But the smile in it is audible. A short, breathy hum escapes him, the sound like a sleepy little laugh.

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other. The calm rise and fall of his chest slows further, and the surrounding blanket of his warmth cradles you softly. 

You don’t want to, but you eventually have to turn your face to the side. As comfy as he is, it’s a little hard to breathe that way. This movement seems to take him a bit off guard, and rouses him from a drowsiness he’d almost let get the better of him. You feel and hear the deep breath he sucks in as he shifts, bringing himself back off the brink of sleep. He props himself back up against the couch, holding you still as he does. You let out a large yawn, and gently pat his back.

“OK...Time for bed?” You ask quietly. In his sleep-addled state, he can only nod. Without another word, arms around your middle become hands on your waist, and he lifts you off of him and gently places you on the cushion next to him. Slowly he stands, stretching. His flames crackle and pop with the action, and once he’s satisfied he lets out the breath he’d been holding and turns to you with a bright orange hand extended.

For a moment, you consider asking him to carry you. You’re exhausted! But another look at his slightly lopsided posture and barely open eyes reminds you he’s right there with you. So you make do with just grabbing his hand and using it to help pull yourself up. Once you’re on your feet, you two begin a slow stroll to your shared bedroom, and step inside. 

The blinds are drawn, so the only light permeating the darkness you stumble around in to change is Grillby himself. You end up in just your underwear and a big T shirt. Following your lead, he removes his own top and bottoms, leaving himself only in his briefs. 

It’s only about 45 seconds after you enter the room that both of you are crashing into bed. You simply let yourself fall face first. He as usual is a little more graceful about things, gently lifting the covers for himself, and helping you work your way under them too. Your tired body sings in relief as you sink into the mattress, your back to the flaming monster beside you.

Unsatisfied with this, you fight the sleep off for a little longer to wiggle a bit. A questioning hum leaves him, and by the sound of it, he’s working pretty hard to stay awake too. You turn under the covers, trying not to muss them too much and he seems to get the idea. Warm hands land on your sides again as he helps you turn toward him, eager to pull you closer. 

It’s a little brighter when you face him, but that’s never bothered you. Especially not when you’re this worn out. He sighs happily at this change, and his arms circle tightly around you, a hand finding the back of your head and threading itself through your hair. 

His digits comb against your scalp ever so gently, drawing a pleased hum from your closed lips. Not many people know (because how could they? He certainly isn’t going around talking about it), but Grillby is quite a physical being. He had some old hang ups that made it hard for him to embrace that about himself at first, and is polite and accommodating to a fault sometimes, but once you’d made him comfortable enough he gave in to his desire to hold you more often, and hold you closely. 

Once again, you thank the fucking stars for that. Especially on nights like these. Gone is any trace of the icy chill that consumed you earlier. 

Without missing a beat, you place your own hands on his broad back, now giving him the same treatment you had received earlier. He’s larger than you, as most monsters tend to be, but it doesn’t hinder your efforts to gently rub your arm up and down along his spine, fingers only deftly making contact. The hand not doing this splays out across his shoulder blade, then creeps up to rest on the point where his shoulder meets his neck. It wouldn’t be long now for either of you. Your eyelids close, but he looks down at your calm form for a little longer. 

A murmured utterance of your name grips the last inklings of your attention. Your eyes slowly drag themselves open again, and a drowsy, “Hmn..?” escapes you. His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks, leaning down so his mouth is closer to your head.

“I love you...” Grillby breathes out. You smile, and lightly kiss whatever of his skin is closest to your lips. That turns out to be a spot on his chest, right under his collar. There’s a small smooching sound as you pull back.

“...Love you too.” You exhale against him. With the last of his effort, he throws a leg over yours, crooking it to bring you closer still, and fully embrace you.

Those are the last words spoken that night. All that follows is the dull crackling of flames and the soft sound of breathing as you both allow your bodies the rest they’ve been aching for.

[lovenona]

me, waking up: oh another day. then, after reading your answer: HOLY SHIT. guess i'm now the loving ramble enabler (LRE?). and DO NOT apologize for being passionate about smt that makes you happy you lovely human being that u are! hearing you ramble (how many times will i use this word idek) about the creation process made my day dammit! and i can assure you, reading about it is as good as reading the masterpiece itself, especially considering how good you are at manifesting the vibes (tm) (pt1)

(pt 2 bc word count sucks) how did you first get interested in pirate history? (if you don't mind me asking ofc) *slides 15 bucks* please, be my guest. do tell us more about the writing/revision process. sincerely, a genuinely interested person currently wondering why the fuck tumblr won't let her do a paragraph break. have a lovely night/day!

bestie ur rly enabling me 😭 ur so sweet skSJKAJSk i will tell u so much under this god damn cut 

first because this is the easy response: how did u get interested in pirate history????

short answer: keira knightley in pirates of the caribbean BYE 💀

long answer: it’s basically a mix of those movies being a centerpiece of my childhood and me just thinking pirates are cool SKJSKAj i’m very much into history n my uni had a course on ‘history of pirates’ last spring so i took it as smth to do during quarantine and i ended up really loving it !!! i’m actually workin on historical fiction short story abt anne bonny and mary read rn which required me to do a lot more research on pirates (under the black flag by david cordingly is a very good book on piracy!) and my research has been very interesting just in general and for writing the odyssey – i've incorporated little historical tidbits here n there to add to the world-building :’)

next: ur writing process

ok so let’s go cray besties i’m going to tell u abt the life of adele writing the odyssey!!!! i’ll try talking abt this in some semblance of a logical step-by-step

1. manifesting vibes + outline

i talked abt this last time but manifesting the vibes is very important ! the first things i like to do when getting ready to write a new chapter is define the setting – place(s), weather, time, and general mood 

while i have a pretty good idea of how many chapters it will be and where the odyssey ends, i usually don’t plan a chapter in super great detail until it’s time to sit down n write it. i have general points of people to include + things that would be important to the plot + vibes i hope to include (parts 6 and 7 r gonna SLAP!!), but these never get fleshed out until it’s Time. my outlines are therefore usually not very detailed because i like to give the odyssey room to do its own thing – i find it important that the story takes its time and we get to the important stuff whenever it wants us to. an outline will usually b something like, in the case of the furies call part 2: 

find megumi, talk abt his role in the zenin clan – naoya arrives on shore and shit hits the fan – run to find mai, maki fights her father – fight between naoya and todou – todou dies because you can’t kill naoya – sukuna rescues reader and it ends

after i have smth that looks like this as well as a decently clear idea of how everything will look and feel we get started!!

2. writing (pain)

arguably the worst stage for any creator! writing! at this point i genuinely just let go and let god tbh. i have no idea how i do things at this stage other than see how many commas + dumb poetic phrases i can include SKKSJKA – sometimes things just happen and it’s really cool!! for example in part 4 i didn’t know the guns warehouse was going to blow up until i was writing it and it just happened 

i do have a set quota of words i meet every time i sit down to write so that i A. feel accomplished and happy when i'm done, even if it sucks and B. don’t get burnout and start hating what i do. this stage is always difficult because writing is just hard and takes a lot of brainpower and self-discipline </3

i wld say the hardest part is that i run the risk of getting very overwhelmed – by the complexities of the plot, by how fucking long it takes me to write, by how much work writing itself is ! for example, abt 7k or so into part 5 i started having the worst existential dread when i realized that this chapter was not even halfway done and i wld have to surpass 15k before it was (at the time of writing this, part 5 is 16.3 💀) it just gets hard sometimes to overcome that and maintain the motivation to keep going and know that everything will be fine when it’s done – thankfully everyone here is so patient and sweet so it makes me feel better when i'm taking forever and/or need time off <333

basically, as always, the pain of writing is just having to write and come to terms with the fact no one else is going to manifest it for u. and have fun too!! writing is only fun when ur writing what u think is cool 

3. revision (less pain)

one of the fun stages, but also the point when i start to become impatient! writing an odyssey chapter can easily take 2.5-3 weeks even if i'm writing my quota every single day (part 5 took roughly 3 weeks of writing every god damn afternoon) and after that i spend another few weeks just going back and rereading/fixing everything. 

i basically start by rereading sections of the chapter to change sentence structure, grammar, dialogue, or whatever else i don’t like – sometimes sentences sound stupid or certain things don’t make a whole lot of sense so i like to go back and polish up! for example i changed the arrival of maki/mai/nobara in furies call part 1 about ten times before i decided it made sense to me

this step can be horrendous because i'll often write things really shitty in the first draft with a “i’ll come back to this later” mindset and then get mad at myself later for being a hoe <//3

in essence, i'm a horrible perfectionist so i will usually reread everything and change or add things multiple times before i think i'm finally ready to share. most of the time, as the chapter gets closer and closer to completion i become more and more hyper-fixated on it – i’ll start spending almost all of my free time just rereading and looking for minor fixes or places that don’t vibe as well. 

at the end of this step, my favorite thing to do before i queue the chapter up to post is sit down and just read the entire thing once or twice and give it one last kiss before i send her off into the world <3

so anyway there’s my ted talk of how i usually make the odyssey ! i vibe, write, revise n take forever to do all three steps but that’s just part of the fun! thank u for tuning in if u have any other questions u wld like me to overshare on i am more than happy to talk abt it :’)