#but other than that i really cant think of anyone else
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Late Revival
i dunno if this already exists, it probably does, but i want a jason that is revived wayyyyyy later. like the rest of the batfam are adults with a freshly revived and traumatized to hell and back (teehee) jaybin. prepare for me to use a lot of parentheses (with guest appearences of parentheses' cousins: brackets and braces)
specifically im thinking of that one timeline final crisis: battle of the cowl (i think thats the one). where batman is dead, i cant remember who, if any, didnt believe he was actually dead (like im pretty sure at the beginning tim thought he was dead but then later believed/realized/discovered he wasnt) (oh also spoiler alert for those who havent read it: he isnt dead [i kno very shocking, "7arami, your telling me batman 'died' in a timeline but didnt actually die!", yes i am, sorry to have to be the one to break it to u]) now im gonna change his revival a bit jus bcs while i do love a league! jason, i feel this is better suited if jason doesnt have that kind of influence/manipulation for this version and for the vibe im going for. basically superboy prime still has his hissy fit and still punches thru reality which triggers jason's revival and leads him to breaking and crawling out of his own grave (i think the 'punching thru reality and causing ripples' is a dumb as fuck way to revive someone, but i still do really like the concept of jason clawing his way out of his coffin). BUT this time he is buried in like the private grave on wayne manor by like bruces parents, maybe even bruces own grave teehee, (cuz im pretty sure he was buried in a public cementary originally cuz like he was hit by a random couples car, actually im not explaining this cuz as i started to write this out it jus felt more obvious that he wasnt buried on wayne manor [which like also kinda feels fucked, like i dunno if im missing somethin like maybe he was buried there to be next to catherine or somethin, but like damn that is ur son ykno {also find it funny how on dc database fandom, catherine's 'other characteristics' is literally jus: "drug addiction", anyways im done with this tangent now sorry}]) i cant tell whether it would be best for him to still be in that like vegetable state, like hed be kinda losing a part of his .*・。゚sparkle .*・。゚ if he lost that part of his revival, but i also feel like it would better progress the story if there wasnt that conflict along with everything else, but, again, at the same time when has a lil extra conflict really hurt anyone (•‿•). but anyways for now im gonna say hes not in his vegetative state and is barely able to make it to some entrance, front, back, side, top, bottom, whatever doesn't matter. main point is bcs he was already on the grounds of the manor, he doesnt trip the security or something (maybe jus like while hes in his coffin, his robin instincts kick in and hes able to traverse without tripping anything [but thats like unrealistic in a way where u jus wanna make ur fave character op {which i mean i kinda do ʅ(°‿°)ʃ sorry}]). this make the rest of the bats, already in this state of crisis where bruce is "dead", even more cautious bcs what do u mean someones at the front/back door and we didnt get a security alert? then when they do finally check the door they see a young baby (not an actual baby jus exaggerating, hes like 13 or 14) jason todd on the brink of death. now heres where i fuck with the timeline a lot more. i want the whole batfam and i want them to all be an army of protective yet struggling older siblings. like im thinking damian as the youngest would be like 17, everyone else would be older (im not gonna label all their ages but i think yall get the idea)
i want dick to be absolutely broken over getting his little wing back while also grieving bruce and having that internal struggle of dawning the cowl. i want that conflict of tim facing his robin who is now much younger than him and in a vulnerable state he has never witnessed before, when he was younger jason had seemed so much bigger, he was loud, confident, brave, now...... I want to see how damian would fare as an older brother, if hed be a bit insecure seeing how easily the others accepted jason, if hed fear he was being replaced, fear hed have to give robin away/back. i want jason to have that connection/understanding with duke and steph who were raised in the same harsh slums of gotham. i also have this idea of jason becoming much more quiet, a bit non-verbal, whether it be bcs of injury or trauma or both, maybe he and cass create their own sign language jus for the two of them. i want alfred to find any and all excuses to get jason back into the kitchen and help him cook/bake, i want alfred to make it his personal mission to get more meat on jasons bones, bringing back jasons original diet plan cuz god knos being tortured then dying did not help with this kids already existing malnourishment and stunted growth. i like the idea of barbara volunteering at a library, i want her to show it off to jason and gleam with pride as jason stares at her with literal stars in his eyes, maybe even giving a smug look to any bat who may be around for the moment.
but most importantly i want jason to wake up in a sterile medbay, and when the bats finally explain all the time mumbo jumbo and how they dont actually kno how he came back to life, when jason has finally let the info settled and accepted his new reality. i want him to ask with all the joy in the world, with this need to finally see his dad again, "where is bruce?" i want him to look around the silent white room, at each one of his siblings ("wow i have such a big family now! (◕‿◕)") with that giant blinding signature grin of his only for it to slowly start to drop as he watches each and everyone of them look down guiltily. i want jason to get that feeling that he knos what this kind of reaction entails but not want to believe it. i want him to beg dick to answer to him and i want damian to be the one to step, to break the news jason didnt actually want to hear. cuz we all need to remember this is the boy who wanted to kill the joker not for killing him, but for taking him away from his dad (bro that scene still breaks me to this day, lordy lord im about to cry). i want a partially suicidal jason, one that cant help but wish he was still dead jus so he can see his dad again.
i want jasons refusal to accept that bruce is dead to be what triggers tim into looking more deeply into bruces death. like i lowkey want it to be a screaming match, where jason is finally walking around (dont kno what level of recovery he is at, jus that he is not stuck in bedrest), it jus starts out with jason entering the cave and asking what they were gonna do about bruce. everyone is slow to respond, but tim finally says one of them (tims vote is still for dick) is gonna have to take on the cowl bcs batmans a symbol. jason is absolutely disgusted by the idea. starts yelling about how they need to be out there looking for bruce not replacing him (man im not even like a big fan of bruce lol, howd i get to this, like i feel jason has every right to be mad at him in the comics and stuff). damian might be the one to fight back on him about how bruce is dead, jasons asks about the body, damian gets more heated saying he was vaporized nothing of him was left, jasons like "not even ash", and while damian jus gets more defensive and graphic about bruces death, tim takes that note to heart, how there really was no trace even tho bruces cowl was left relatively unscathed (i think, sorry guys, read parts of final crisis and wasnt even paying too close attention cuz the whole time i was pretty pissed about how they totally fucked up jasons character [i mean like seriously, the writers jus went: "oh heres a perfectly good character with lots of complexity and potential....... lets disregard all of that and jus make him this rampant psychopath that only feels one emotionヾ(●゚v゚)人(゚v゚○)ノ", me and every other jason 'wasted potential' todd fan: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ���┻━┻]) later he'll tell jason how he began to look into it more and before he can even get into his findings jasons already hugging him, thanking tim for listening, for humoring him. and tim takes a second but finally he reciprocates the hug, holding a teary eyed jason.
anyways im gonna stop for now i still have more ideas but im gonna take a lil break for now, kind of been ignoring my school work to type this out lol
#dc#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#jaybin#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#alfred pennyworth#late revival au#the urge to have my favorite character be endlessly tortured while also being cared for :)#oh and for those who r like:#wouldnt his body be decomposed by then#how r u gonna explain that?#the same way dc explained it in the comics#aka: im not
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Parallel Lines and Brothers.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#lan wangji#lan xichen#jin zixuan#Does anyone else think about the tragedy of the parallel lines? Of characters who are parallel lines?#Of running the same course as someone. Of echoing each other in perfect synchronicity.#It's more than being a foil. It's about being on the same path and being so near to each other.#and yet parallel lines never intersect. They cannot meet each other despite their existence being tied to another.#I think the brothers tragedy is just as much of a tragedy of parallel lines as is pre-resurrection wangxian.#Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian spend so much time running side by side and yet - they cant close this gap between them.#Even if their relationship never recovers - they are forever tied together through their past. The good and bad and ugly.#All the things that are left unsaid between them. All the love and sacrifices they made for each other that are never shared. Parallel line#I firmly believe any post-canon material that would have them be indifferent towards each other is just...really doing them a disservice.#And dear god the Lan brothers. They certainly love each other! Its a far fonder fraternal relationship than jiangxian (/platonic)#They fool you by having you think they have a good read on each other. Lan Xichen certainly wingmans + advocates for lwj!#But lets not forget - Lan Xichen by the end is in the reverse situation and headspace as Lan Wangji by the end of this story.#Lan Wangji is more free and open than he has ever been. He's in love. He's married. He and wwx are intersecting lines.#& LXC who grew up with and lived the same path as LWJ - who even is said to resemble him visually - his parallel line - shuts himself away#Despite all the love LWJ has for his brother I don't think he ever manages to reach him.
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devotionduo so codependent that when they try to be less so they end up hurting each other what if i kms
#mine.txt#zam hated being relied on so Heavily in s5 so now mapicc values team interindependence to a level that i dont think?? hes had before#which means hes taken more liberty in grinding for himself and his teammates a lot more than he used to#and because zam places a lot of value in himself in being the team grinder he feels useless and unneded#and since zams a huge grinder it means mapiccs main method of helping him is through violence but since hes a pacifist this season#and while technically zam is fine with other ppl killing and most importantly killing For him; he doesnt really have any beef that requires#killing as a form of revenge which means mapicc cant do the main thing that zam (and anyone else really) uses him for#and they both want to do and be more for the other but theyre stuck at a standstill cause theyre in uncharted territory#cause theyre friendly but not teamed (or even pseudo-teamed like in early s5)#i will say tho mapes more active in trying to find ways to hang out with zam#but if there isnt a clear opportunity to do so hes so Weird about it lmao like he basically just kinda. hovers over him lmao#whether in chat or otherwise#but when an opportunity Does present itself tho he seizes on it basically immediately#like the stalking is easy pickings but theres also gaias hand and literally anytime zam asks him to kill someone for him#ok but seriously tho the fact that mapicc basically declared them as teammates (even if its not official)#after he finished with the stalking was so sdfsdklaghsaljh#like bruh why does zam even have doubts about mapicc prioritizing him above everyone else he doesnt even do all that for his actual team 😭#devotions
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💫 RANDOM JUKEBOX ISAT REQUESTS 🎵
hi for funsies u can send me an ask with a number btwn 1 and 54!!
I'll draw something inspired by the song that number corresponds to!
These numbers are based on the songs i have in my personal playlists! So if u want to cheat to get a specific song u can find a spreadsheet key for what song each number is and what has been used under the readmore
If the number u pick has been picked before i will hit shuffle until i get a number i haven't gotten :3 You can also tell me to shuffle if u don't want to pick a number!
these will be open until i run out or until i get bored or busy whichever happens first <3
#the songs r all from my siffrin and loop playlists so it will mostly be them#other characters may or may not appear in what i draw i just dont have character playlists for anyone else#im not really taking outside song requests bc id feel bad not drawing anything for the songs i cant think of ideas for#but if u want to suggest songs to add to my playlists in the comments pls feel free!#also heres ur warning that i ship sifloop/sloopis if u dont want to take the risk that id draw smth of that variety#isat#requests#ask game#isat requests#in stars and time#human loop#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat fanart#this looks more professional than it is my anxiety disorder is just always telling me to make a spreadsheet#bc like wow if *i* would be anxious about sending an ask#clearly everyone else would Also be anxious#isat spoilers#almost forgot lol
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COMPUTER. ENHANCE
^ omega spotted
#was overanalyzing every little frame as one does and i saw him . i havent seen anyone else point this out#considering hes right next to what looks like the entrance to one of the stages#my guess is that shadow will also have other characters spread around his hub world that are frozen and stuff#and are freed by playing throuhg the stages. just like what happens in sonic's side of things#now i wonder who all the other characters could be... rouge is already shown being freed by sonic in the og game so. probably not her#maybe silver or metal sonic? they only showed up as boss fights in the original iirc.#well characters who didnt appear in the original are probably on the table still considering omega wasnt in the original#but other than that i really cant think of anyone else#ohh . what if maria is one of them. idk if that would be possible considering shes dead. but imagine#sonic x shadow generations#sonic x shadow generations spoilers
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woagh..
#i am suffering from mine own myriad mental disorders#i think i read somewhere that one of those mental disorders causes a crash in dopamine after having fun#and i think i experience that a lot#among other things. feels like a panic attack once a week#sorry to say! i am Not cute hot sexy thing all the time. in fact most of the time id call myself a half stressed half mess.#on the verge of like 3 different breakdowns#or during a 4th one#i am really reaaallly not having a great time with this whole#being alive thing.#what with all the... work is tiring and forever. and the i dont know what im doing with my life.#and the desperate need to be somehow more desirable than most. like i am green with envy whenever anyone else is liked more than me...#but also i dont have the energy to be anyones favorite anything... like i can take the initiative to talk to someone of my own free will#maybe once a day.#if that.#and i need attention from tens of people to feel any sense of worth? crazy.#wallowing#anyways uh if you read all that please forget?#i just cant sleep so in catastrophizing#im very mostly okay#just.. god its only gonna get worse injust thought about it im gonna have another panic attack#it only gets worse#<- wild thats a repeat tag#hahah#kay night...
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i am so unexplainably sick of things being called basic as if that's a bad thing. so what if someone listens to mainstream music and makes aesthetic instagram posts and watches popular tv shows because if that makes them happy then it's no one else's business. focus on yourself rather than putting other people down for doing what makes them happy.
#luc posts#there is a reason “basic” things are popular: they make people happy#like those girls who say they're a girls girl and then say shit like “omg i cant believe they listen to taylor swift thats so basic of them#like do you actually think these people give a fuck??? if listening to taylor swift makes them happy then so what??? why is that a problem?#its almost as if humans hate seeing other humans successfull and happy#I'm not saying you have to like mainstream things#but just be happy for people who do#bc at the end of the day if you make fun of someone for doing what makes them happy then you're a horrible person#let people live#let people enjoy things#let people have fun#let people be happy#someone liking stranger things or another mainstream tv show is genuinely not deep enough to bully them for you're wasting ur time#like really underground niche interests are cool ofc but that DOES NOT make you better than anyone else#happiness#came out of my studying tumblr “break” to post this lmao
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your steven interpretation is boring and fits into the fanon characterization of steven, i wish you would be a little more unique with how you write him :(((((((
i do Not feel like this is true bc fanon steven is like nothingburger sexy guy or yandere... esque?? or things like that that make him very shallow and one note . And not super depressed and mentally ill as he would be. literally like Fanon Steven is Not my steven and my steven is also very near and dear to my heart bc hes a comfort character who i had when i was going through a lot of shit! Like Actually! I think about him a lot! And a lot of the things i do w him are lifted from canon and the ways i interpret and analyze the og story. not a lot of the fanon or fandom stuff ... Does that. a lot of it is very divorced from stevens struggles and story and the fact its a tragedy in favor of shipping or whatever else. they do not give steven realistic struggles.
also bc i havent properly written steven in ages. idk if you read my headcanons or analysis'. Read Those if so. I dont actually write shit almost ever especially now i do not write him as a character bc i like to think about him and how hed do things, i dont like to Write him.
my keyboard is broken i am tired and depressed and dont really have many ideas for things to write with him bc i exhausted a lot of them. i still think about steven daily though, im mostly focused on my self indulgent shit i write because thats all all of this was. sharing my self indulgent shit with people who are fighting for Crumbs of steven.
i think ab him more than almost anybody else seems to in this fandom other than a few people i personally know ( shout out to like 3-4ish people ) and a few others i dont personally know. There are not many people i know who have the same headcanons and a lot that did i think took it from me? which is kinda funny. i dont own steven having bpd but i think its a thing i popularized more for example afaik. i see little bits of my headcanons rippling into other peoples and its fun
Also what the fuck do you mean 'boring' what do you want the depressed adult ass man to do when hes isolated. Sorry that he is not dancing for ur entertainment? Sorry that hes not a crazed serial murderer!!! when... he.. Wouldnt be he only really killed mike and nobody takes doors open as canon ever bc its stupid. I have no idea what you mean by boring. the fuck would an 'interesting' interpretation be. i am not interested in entirely redoing his concept as a character or his story nor am i fucking rewriting strangled red or am ever interested in it bc i think its fine on its own and whenever anyone tries its usually... Not good. Even ( and especially ) when smr did it LOL ( thankfully he never got to strangled red proper ).
i dont like a lot of people that do that unless it has a reason because i think the og story is perfectly fine untouched even if some parts could be elaborated on or explained better, but i dont think you have to shove super big changes to things like 'missingno is actually a conscious entity that talks to him!!! mike DID kill her' Like this detracts from a lot of the story and things that do that at least in my opinion make it.. more boring. its fine if people like that but its not for me. you dont need to make strangled red more dramatic and explain away everything. some of the vagueness is the fun of it.
i just wanted to share headcanons and my own projections that i think would fit him to the world bc nobody really thought about steven in the way i did.
i know a lot of people really love my steven interp and think hes unique so i think you just dislike it. Which can be a thing you can do i dont give a shit. I would also probably dislike whatever yours is! Im very picky with steven interpretations! ok not really people just dont genuinely write him as a full-fledged character very often. i am not making 'content' for people. im just sharing what i want to. if that doesnt appeal to you make your own shit! You probably wont find a lot of people writing whatever you want steven to be so you should do it for yourself bc thats how i got here.
if im taking this very personally or sound like it im mostly jsut really confused. and also bc i half-am but i dont care that much. Bc like. What do you want me to do...? Im not going to suddenly rewrite the entirety of my own personal interpretation of a character ive loved for almost 2 years straight now for someone else. i barely use this blog anymore! except when i want to post analysis or headcanons. its self-indulgent! but i still sure do think about steven deeply and intimately even if it for some reason feels like i dont. i think the autistic analyzation of the og writing should paint that im like serious about it.
anyways, there was not much of a reason to send this if youre so upset i dont write steven content the way you want ( and you probably would also have a lot of ideas i wouldnt agree with. ) Then send me 50 dollars NOW! [ if it wasnt obvious this is a joke. ]
#wispy chatters#If this person wasnt trying to be an asshole for the sake of it sorry but u really shouldve thought b4 u sent that.#i know im very critical of fanon and fandom and hate it so this is just funny to randomly get#like is this supposed to be a 'gotcha!' or do you just want me to write steven in a very specific way i probably wouldnt enjoy.#bc im not here for that and never was requests are just ideas and starting points. i still try to use the same personal interpretations#Like i dont think you know what fanon steven is if you think my steven is fanonized#esp bc like.#i hate 'fanon' steven but thats a catchall term for ppl who remove his actual struggles and character for shipping or whatever.#which is technically fine and would be ignorable if it wasnt 90% of the fandom doing it and if it wasnt hard to get actual steven stuff.#that thinks ab him as a wholeass character with struggles disconnected from everything else.#but. All creepypasta interps are inherently fanon thats how it goes with short horror stories.#i do try to stick as close as i can to canon while. getting rid of the shit thats stupid. But i try to be realistic ab it#But you cant really do 100% canon steven he barely talks or has a character just a kind of barely implied personality .#Like ... Some of them r popular ideas but bc ppl agree on it? Usually? i dont do this shit for anyone else other than me and some fans
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I am so genuinely sad about the way physical media is being cast to the landfills in favor of "technology of the future" (everything being a subscription service so you have to constantly pay to keep the things you should just outright own, as well as certain things not being on certain platforms and making you stretch your dollars out if you want to experience it all)
My mom got a new car recently and there is no CD player despite the fact that CDs are still being produced and people generally still seem to like them. We just recently started a tradition of going to record stores and picking out random CDs to see if we accidentally pick something cool or something really bad in a funny way. Just as quickly as that tradition started, it's ended. No more driving home from the record store and listening to the new CDs we just bought. If I want to listen to them then I have to do it in my room alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.
Alone.
Kill the automotive industry.
#why cant i listen to the CDs with my mom? why cant i bring my CD player downstairs and listen with her?#i very well could do all that but the moving constant changing scenery was part of the appeal of that tradition#my mom doesnt really listen to music for fun unless its with me in the car#thats an hour ride home typically. spent listening to the radio or something else. then that would be like an hour of listening at home#thats a fucking drag and what are we gonna do at home? stare into each others eyes while we listen? dance? do chores?#actually taking my CD player out and doing some chores around the house wouldnt be so bad but now youve added chores into music fun times#and the CDs we choose are often not danceable. and the house we live in is cery hostile to anyone doing anything other than watching tv#that was listen and bond about music time with my mom. and the automotive industry decided for me that i didnt deserve that anymore#alone. take away the physical media to bond with people over so that everyone feels or thinks theyre alone.#alone.
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reading crazy wedding demands and it just amazes me that people have such large weddings like. 200 people invited to your fucking wedding. why are you inviting so many people?? i bet you dont talk to half of them?? 200 is abt the size of my senior class????? i didnt even know half of them??? i didnt even know the names of all the people in my program which was easily around 50 theres no fucking way you know 200 people well enough to invite them to your god damn wedding
#admittedly my high school was small and i also was not very social but point still stands!!!!!!!#god how many people wouldni invite to MY hypothetical wedding#well immediate family is four#aunt and two cousins plus another aunt and uncle plus three cousins and their grandma bc shes a part of their family#i lost count#uh four plus three plus uhtwo plus three plus one#13? ok thats moms side#dads side is like. grandma grandpa grandma#16 plus aunt and uncle and teo kids is 20 plus aunt and uncle and? two kids i think thats 24 plus aunt and two kids thats three uh 27 plus#aunt plus uncle?#i dont know my dads side very well tbh#ill leave it at 24 the other ones arent guaranteed#ok thats fam so then? i have four besties#28#i would literally not invite anyone else#cuz its like#i dont know you?#oh this was in my drafts rip. anyways reading the tags again ive realized people usually include a plus one? so the number of people in my#wedding would probably go up to like idk. 40 minimum. and i also just realized i forgot my fucking wifes guest list#well actually the plus ones only apply to like the cousins i think? so yeah abt 40 sounds right i cant be assed to count my cousins rn#so my future wife is not allowed to have an absurdly large guestlist#if its like 15 more than mine thats too much im sorry#man. that would get it to almost 100........ i still think 200 people at your wedding is too much tho like come on really? u got that many#friends? the fuck? 98% of my guest list is family 😭#michi tag
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ngl if you're adamantly denying that any of nosferatu (2024) can or "should" (???) be read as an allegory for sexual abuse and are calling anyone who interprets it that way dumb and "lacking in media literacy"... beloved i think you're the one who lacks media literacy </3
#reads as insecurity to me lmao#like you thought count orlok was hot and you cant bear to see other people have different interpretations than you#so youre making it everyone else's problem#like youre allowed to think he's hot no one's trying to take that from you buddy#people can have their serious media analysis at the same time as you have your monsterfucking you can calm down lmao <3#not giving anyone reblogging privileges actually ive seen what you people do to ppl just sharing their opinion on the film politely#im not letting y'all get at me when im being bitchy on purpose#i speak#nosferatu (2024)#anyway loved the movie <3#i want to say we're so back but this is the same year red one came out so... we're a little back#also nick hoult and atj really having their year(s) aren't they#didn't recognize atj for the longest time i was squinting at him hard. but also i think his face is so forgettable lmao
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most annoying thing about being me is that i cannot engage with like. any fanon shit about dennis because i'm constantly on some advanced derangement and the stuff i thought two years ago when i was first getting comfy in the fandom is still the way everyone else looks at dennis but i'm like. yes but its Worse than this. you're like a quarter of the way there. this isn't the interesting bit, this is a symptom of it, keep going.
#ada speaks#i tried reading fic. i got probably 5 minutes in and was like hm i dont think i can do this#it doesnt like. piss me off. it just also does not interest me in the least#that post going around the other day got me thinking too like fjsmbfkfkj#i think maybe macbrain often causes ppl to come to the wrong conclusions too but 🥴#like i see so many people apply the same logic that makes sense with mac to dennis and it's like whoa. wait a minute. huh??#we're doing the catholic guilt thing here with him...? you think he's got a complex with that?#you think den's been anything other than openly queer since the show began ?? jdehkbfjkherbfjh i dont know man. where are you getting that.#dennis' shit is so far removed from anything else i think you NEED to understand him in a vacuum before applying individual circumstances#ie. when trying to understand dennis' behaviour Around Mac i don't actually think it has much to do with mac at all#or at least nowhere near as much as ppl give him credit for lol#he's just. like that. he's behaving perfectly in line with himself just not. with anything else. its not that complicated really#i also don't think that he hates himself nearly as much as everyone seems to think#conversely. also nowhere near the narcissist everyone makes him out to be.#still cant get over the absolute deranged interaction i had on twitter a while back where it was like.#''dennis isnt legitimately interested in Anyone because he's too in love with himself.'' like hdksbkfngmdjshdkfjfndj LOVES HIMSELF??#first of all the SINNED system is right there and those steps and that GOAL Mean Something secondly fhkfnskjrjdkbsnsnfnfk#meanwhile i was talking about some fic concepts & hcs a while back with a friend and they were like youre straight up writing plural dennis#like. ah. yeah. victoria is an alter. somehow i've written this while being like. hm. what IS victoria to him.#these two are distinct people coexisting in this body and dennis still *exists* even after coming out and transitioning...?#but how can i even begin to talk about this when i don't agree that much of anything in canon points to this. it's like.#i dont think brian lefevre or hugh honey or his random personas are alters. its specifically victoria and a few other instances#and victoria isn't even. a thing. glenn just conveniently gave a 'canon' name to a thing i was Already conceptualizing but its? not canon#anyway golden god firefighter and victoria manager. hello. anyone. dennis and victoria co-fronting.#this is more about. IFS than DID but it's.#idgaf about the macden other ppl froth at the mouth over im inside dennis' brain poking around i find them fascinating but not like that#(there is something wrong with me)#genuinely wish i could enjoy the stuff in the tag and the stuff that showed up on my dashboard regularly this is a curse DBKSBFMF
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Theory with no coherent proof on my part: brenner only visibly ages rapidly when a portal is open.
#brenner 'dies' very early on after rhe portal opens in s1 so we dont see the effects#but in s4 he looks considerably older.#then in s5 he apparently has a whole bald cap - portal that opened at the end of s4 has been open for approx 1.5 years#theres the tie in to the ptsd/trauma metaphor with the UD representing repressed memories#or repressed memories aka 'lost time' in someone memory#the whole thing where ppl with traumatic childhoods cant remember their childhoods very well and it comes back sooner or later#i wonder if there is a supernatural tie into that in st? like when a portal opens to the UD all that 'lost time' suddenly is allowed back#into the light aka out of the subconscious and into the conscious re flashbacks and memory retrieval#i dont believe NINA at all beyond the flashbacks el has before brenner got involved#bc it seems to me that brenner possibly took advtg of els vulnerable state to possibly manipulate her memory retrieval#which irl has been a long time point of controversy which is psychologists convinving patients that they have memories of trauma#they dont actually have. which idk how valid that is but brenner is a psychologist so if anyone he could find a way#also when the 'lost time' comes back to the surface brenner ages bc of those time loops begin to unravel. the real years brenner has lived#take its toll rather than him de aging as time loops back again to the beginning#very dr who of him. or at least every time he dies its another time loop thats created except from our perspective as the audience we#wouldnt know. because we are only watching from a set linear timeline (1983-1986) and we dont see the time line resetting itself#since all the timelines are similar enough with only small differences ('easter eggs')#tying this into the wheelers- their name literally means 'creator/operator of wheels' aka time loops. so are they The Source?#with the subtext surrounding 'truths' and 'lies' in ST i dont necessarily believe all timeloops are created equal#one must be the 'true' timeline while the others must be 'lies'. aka lonnie saying how people sometimes make things up 'to cope'#that and the heavy subtext behind hawkins being a cursed town. not necessarily anywhere else in the US#and how you can only open portals in hawkins per alexei#makes me thinks these arent legitimate timeloops. like time isnt physically looping back and rerunning events bc otherwise it wouldnt only#affect one small town in indiana. also we dont see the UD/the MF be able to affect time itself but rather ppls perception of time aka#mind control and memories. meaning that could it be time isnt actually looping but rather everyone in hawkins has their memories wiped and#recreated every time there is an inciting incident (which is unknown)#^this doesnt really explain how brenner is able to revive every time he dies unless brenner is actually an admin of this system and lives#'outside' the time loop. so. brenner is a video game character actually whos actual player is blissfully safe from harm outside of the the#computer screen#isnt this just the plot of the matrix. with 'the source' (the central computing core aka the wheelers?) and keymakers etc etc
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Guess who might have 🎶whooping cough🎶
#its me and many other people at the summer camp i work at#today i took the morning off because ive been ill for a few weeks#i think the first week was a different illness than the one i currently have tho#i assumed it was what we call 'camp crud' because youre bound to get sick when youre around grimy kids#and living in close quarters with others and not getting enough sleep#but yesterday i felt like shit all day to the point of not being able to stand. so today i took the morning off#just to try and recover a bit. but at lunch my program director came in and said im going to the clinic later#and asked me who else ive noticed is sick#hes making a list because apparently a camper has fucking whooping cough. and its lookng like others might too#i told my sibling i might have whooping cough and they said#'seriously?! are you a street urchin from 1600s Europe?'#which is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me lol. im already on the brink of death and they just kicked me over#im desperately hoping its just crud and not whooping cough#because i have the opportunity to work the zip line this weekend for visiting alumni. with the woman i have feelings for#altogether its going to be a great time so im really hoping i can go. but i obv cant if i have whooping cough#anyway im gonna go back to napping bcuz thats all ive been doing today. that and coughing#if you pray then maybe add me into your prayers today. maybe manifest my health. ive been sick for weeks and i want it to be over
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currently on a hiatus because i have someone visiting me but astarion having three times the amount of romantic scenes than wyll..........
#wyll literally has more scenes with mizora comparing him to a dog than he has romantic scenes. hes a BLACK MAN thats so uncomfortabl e#like...... :|#astarion in general has double the amount of romantic scenes than ANYONE ELSE.... like#i love astarion. like. hes a fascinating character but if you cant see the favoritism that the white morally grey boy gets compared to#literally any other character... like. take off the rose colored glasses man#i think the blame is with larian ever since i found out that the dark urge writer was on a crunch to write scenes & whatnot#but like..... man. really???? Really?????
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