#but! im scared of change and of losing all my stuff. i have so many things here!

[indecisive-dizzy]

I got a new phone!! I’m so happy cause my old one was a piece of crap :,)

I lost all my fics/au ideas/digital drawings though so I’m in pain :,3

Anyways, have some DearDollops ideas

Birthday episode! Daisey’s birthday edition! Daisey wanting to spend some time alone with Eddie, Eddie brushing them off while trying to plan a surprise party, like that one episode of Phineas And Ferb that had Isabella’s birthday

Cuddles! Tons and tons of cuddles

Eddie being clumsy and falling over so Daisey bandages his scratches and bruises

Job swap! Eddie trying to run Daisey’s little flower shop while Daisey tries to deliver the mail

Sharing pets! Daisey has a pet cat called Hibi and Eddie loves her, shes a little baby :>

Deep talks about sensitive things. They just need to talk and cry about things together sometimes, that’s all

Sleepovers! They love sleepovers, they sleep a lot so they get to cuddle and talk late a lot

Movie nights my beloved <3

They watch scary movies together and Eddie clutches onto Daisey anytime anything remotely scary happens

Eddie and Daisey doing arts and crafts together! Eddie makes a ton of crafts perfectly while Daisey struggles ;v;

Idk what it’s called but when a character is struggling to do something and the other character gently puts their hands over their struggling hands and guides them to the right/proper way- that with Eddie and Daisey. Just with anything honestly, it’s cute

Daisey gardening outside while Eddie delivers the mail and once Eddie delivers something to Daisey, they kiss before he goes back on his route :,)))))))

Matching teddy bears! They dress them up like each other- Daisey gets a mini Eddie and Eddie gets a mini Daisey!

I’m very obsessed with them I love they they’re my pookies <3

Oh sick new phone!! that's great but yeah I get the pain of losing art. I sent pretty much everything to myself before I got this one so I'd still have them hhh

Eddie's working really hard on that surprise party! He's good at planning me thinks, if his memory doesn't actively work against him

flower and heart themed bandages,, that is all

Florist Eddie <3 I just got a serious florist/tattoo artist au flashback. remember that? mann

Emotional! Sleepovers! They do each others nails and cry!

Eddie likes scary things but is still scared lol it's a great excuse to hold onto and cuddle Daisey. not that he needs one

When it comes to crafts it really is Expectation (Eddie's craft) vs Reality (Daisey's craft) He tries to help if they let him. I don't know what the hand thing is called either but Yes.

Daisey's got 2 deliveries! Mail and a kiss <3

Matching teddy bears sobbs that so cutee

[cyberluvzu]

TICCI TOBY DATING HEADCANONS

Ticci toby x reader

Hello people, I haven't written in years but I have some spare time and have been DROOLING over Toby lately so I thought that I could do this.

(please go easy on me I literally haven't wrote anything like this in 2 years)

- COMPLETE LOSERRRR

- Absolutely no dating experience at all

- You're his first everything

- And because you're his first everything, he gets incredibly nervous when it comes to doing new romantic things ( especially something physical)

- He wants to do all the cute couple things with you but he's scared that he's gonna end up scaring you off or making you uncomfortable

- At the beginning of the relationship he would probably be so awkward

- You'd go to hug him and he'd just stand there like🧍

- Don't get me wrong he appreciates the affection, he just doesn't know how to respond because he hasn't had a good relationship with physical touch

- After a couple of months he would slowly start to be more open to physical affection and being more romantic

- Just give the man some time

- When you get to the point of being completely comfortable with eachother he goes CRAZY BRO

- When he does get comfortable he is constantly on your ass

- He comes back from missions and immediately wants to go to sleep with you in his arms

- Bro doesn't even care if he's all bloody, he WILL have you

- You will have to pry him off of you and get him in the shower, or at least change his clothes

- After you get him to clean up he is all over you

- Holds you so close and just knocks the fuck out

- I also like to think that he'll bring you little knick knacks when he goes out

- Flowers, cool rocks, maybe a couple of things he got stole when he was in town!

- He's kinda like a crow

- In the sense of, if he likes you, you're gonna get some stuff

- He likes going on walks with you, it's nice just being alone with you, away from his life

- Is somewhat totally obsessed with you

- When he's not with you he is always thinking of you

- On his mind 24/7

- Totally infatuated with you, loves you completely.

- Has an irrational fear that he might lose you and doesn't want you to ever leave him, because you're the best thing that's happened to him

- Gets jealous, but not in the aggressive way, at least not with you

- Might go kill that person that was hitting on you, but you don't need to know that!

- Will absolutely be passive aggressive with you though

- Says little things to let you know that he's still upset at you

- He just worries he'll lose you to someone else

- Someone give bro a hug already

- Speaking of that, he absolutely adores your hugs, wants to stay in your arms forever

- He likes hugging you from behind

- He also really likes to silently creep up behind you and scare the shit out of you, but ends up giving you a hug to make up for it

- He just loves you

------------------------------------------

GUYS IM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES FOR Y'ALL TO REQUEST 😭🙏

I'm literally so in the mood for writing about silly little characters now, I have so so many more headcanons for Toby and all of the other pastas, but I'm gonna post this because I've delayed doing it for a while because I'm irrationally nervous 😭

[mbbmz]

HEY IM BACKK🤭 Wakasa has been on my mind the past days (he deadass appeared in my dream💀) So I got a request where Wakasa is friends with reader and secretly likes her but hides it really well. So when the 1st gen bd drink together and Waka gets drunk he won't get off her, hugging her n stuff and it eventually leads to a sleepy confession from him ykk🤭 The others all tease him the next day for it😭 (sry if this is kinda long)

Omgg hi again! I’m so glad you decided to request again (I love Wakasa)

Your requests are always interesting ml heheheheh, even though I’m not really proud of this one, I still hope you’ll enjoy it (and sorry for the wait)

No warnings, alcohol consumption (a bit too much in this instance) fluff and crack

Every time you changed something about your appearance, no matter how small it was, no matter how many of your friends didn’t notice, Wakasa always did. Might be the slightest change in your hair or makeup, you’d always receive a "It suits you well" or "That’s a nice change". He would always carry that bored expression as he says it, as if he didn’t really care. But how would he notice such small details if he didn’t?

Of course he cared. He was your best friend after all. You called him that, others called you that, he called himself that. Even if those words left a bitter taste in his mouth. Yet he’d never act on it. He was content with what he had, content with the proximity you two shared. Even though he wanted more, he swallowed back all his feelings. Because Wakasa, as much as he didn’t like to admit it, was scared to lose you. So he swallowed back the lingering touches he wanted to give you, any comments that could appear as "too much", for the sake of your friendship. One he would continue to cherish, even if that meant settling for less than he wanted.

- "Come on, just one drink!"

You rolled your eyes. Currently, you were downplaying the invitation of your friend, really insistent to get you to drink with the small group tonight.

- "Dont insist, Omi… I have work tomorrow…"

It was Takeomi’s turn to roll his eyes.

- "Just live a little… beside…"

A small smirk appeared on his face. You were almost, almost curious as to what he was about to say.

- "I don’t believe you’ve ever seen Waka getting drunk…"

Your annoyed rambling about work stopped for a second. He was right, your best friend, the one you’ve known since so long… Have never been drunk in front of you. And you couldn’t deny that the thought made you curious. What kind of drunk was he? Emotional drunk? Tired drunk?.. Yeah, definitely that…

After a few seconds of thinking, you sighed, you couldn’t deny one drink sounded nice.

- "One drink…" You finally indulged, watching his smirk widen

- "You won’t regret it… it’s actually pretty fun to watch…"

On those words, you started walking toward the bar you often went at, where the others were probably already waiting.

And when Takeomi told you it would be fun to watch, you didn’t expect that. And based on his expression, he didn’t either.

You were trying to drink in your now half empty glass, but you found it difficult to do so, as a pair of strong arms were wrapped around your figure.

- "I’ve… never seen him like this before…" Stated Shinichiro, sitting across of you. In his eyes was a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

At this point, all the eyes around the table were on you, more precisely on the man clutching at your side. Wakasa Imaushi, the White Leopard, Black dragons founding member and first generation Special attack Unit captain, THE living legend… Clinging to you like a lost child.

- "N-No one- hic -can touch her… ‘xcept me…" He mumbled, eyes closed and face red from all the shots he had.

You were torn. You’ve never seen him like that, with you or with anyone. And your best friend being so clingy, so… touchy… felt weird. But at the same time… it wasn’t a bad kind of weird.

- Waka… I think I’ll drive you home…

As you muttered those words, you felt his grip tightening. Goddamnit was he strong. You winced slightly, trying to get him off, to no avail.

- "Can someone… Help me out here?.." you asked, a bit annoyed at the lack of reaction from your friends

The three guys exchanged looks, before looking back at you.

- "I mean… you heard him." Started Takeomi, a sly grin on his face

- "No one can touch you except him!" Finished Keizo, raising his hands to support his words

You rolled your eyes, hearing the three of them laughing like degenerates. Unbelievable.

You had to find something though. You wanted to go home, too. Yet it was proven difficult with the bag of muscles holding you tightly.

You sighed, looking at his slumped form, trying to find something to get him off.

- "… Hey Waka… Let’s go home, mhm?.." You tried to bargain, with seemingly no success.

- "N-Nah… M’staying… with you…" He mumbled, his speech almost incomprehensible.

You sighed sighed again. You definitely wanted to go home, getting a bit tired yourself.

- "… Wanna sleep at my place?.." You asked, as all eyes on the table landed on you, even his. You felt a need to denfend yourself to your peers.

- "N-Not like that! I’m not that kind of person!" You tried to defend yourself

- "That’s really inappropriate. I wouldn’t have taken you for the type…" Teased the black haired mechanic, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

- "Mhmm… Take me home, love…"

Your eyes widened, as everyone else’s. You looked down at your lap, eyes landing on a very sleepy Waka, nuzzling your thigh.

- "… Yeah, I’ll take him home… He’s… not in his right mind…" You muttered, trying to calm the emotions he provoked by calling you that.

- "Heh, you know what they say… A drunk man’s words is a sober man’s thoughts!"

You glared at Takeomi, who was laughing his ass off with your other friends. They wouldn’t let that die down easily…

You called a cab, trying to walk with a grown ass man clutched at your hip. Quite a humorous sight, really.

The drive wasn’t long thankfully, and you managed to drag the drunk man in your bed. You were too tired to do anything else, crashing on the mattress next to his unconscious form. You were about to fall asleep, when his voice caught your attention.

-" ‘Meant it, y’know… I don’t… wanna be your friend… wanna be more…"

You listened to his drunken confession, your own eyes fighting to stay open and focused on his relaxed face.

- "Wanna… hold you and… do shit couples do, I dunno…"

A small silence followed his words, lingering in the air. You looked at him one last time, before your eyes closed on their own.

- "G’night, Waka…"

The only answer you received was the sound of his slow breathing and light snores. You would deal with that tomorrow…

- "Hey, "love"! Mind grabbing me a beer?" Teased a certain black haired man, as your now boyfriend was glaring at him, fighting the urge to smash his head on the coffee table.

- "Takeomi I swear to god…" He warned, pinching the bridge of his nose as you let out a small chuckle.

He could now hold you, kiss you, and do plenty of other shit couples do.

[knightsickness]

Rhaenyra being a good person and ruler is not boring. Ned was boring?

was considering answering this with ‘lose the question mark’ but that felt mean i do like ned i think hes a good character. and the thing is ned is a boring guy on a personal level all characters agree but he isnt a boring character nice ≠ boring i dont need everyone to be evil. i dont dislike rhaenyra just bc shes soso nice and i only like villains

i dont know when ‘a character having strong motivations and flaws makes them more compelling than a character who is inoffensively nice’ became controversial i would consider it character writing 101. hotd fans leap down your throat about it bc of the teams discourse. ‘aegon was more interesting than rhaenyra in season 2’ isnt an aegon rules rhaenyra drools team green argument it is objectively true aegon is more motivated and he does more

it is not compelling character stuff and an insult to emma’s abilities that they wont let rhaenyra do anything or have any motivations apart from a) peace shes a pacifist and doesnt want to be in the war she is a de facto leader in except maybe she does want to be in the war? (dragonseeds) b) the stupid prophecy c) the throne but she refuses to have a war about it bc see point a). and she states these motivations every episode but theyre actively contradictory so as a result she just doesnt do anything shes almost entirely reactive. if she really cares so much about not having a war and harming her people there are many actions she could take to change that and make a peace but she wont do that bc she wants her father’s throne (far more sentimental and niceys than anything as selfish and crass as her ugh just wanting the throne) and believes she has to be queen and is the chosen one bc of the prophecy. but she doesnt want a war bc women are wise and war is bad so so so she got main character screentime and did almost nothing in eight episodes. end of season 2 even though the war has been literally happening around her people are still talking about when rhaenyra is going to recognise this and start acting like it. a goalpost that has been moved from lukes death to jaces death bc lukes death affected her and her policy veryy little considering how confident everyone was that this means WAR get ready for a NEW DARK RHAENYRA a mothers RAGE. and that just didnt happen at all

baela and to a lesser extent rhaenys also get hit w this really hard theyre a blandly inoffensive Strong Female Character slurry being smeared on my face like im a baby and id get scared if they had any selfish desires. and this does work at pleasing people who are already tb fanatics yayy girlboss imagine liking the creeps on tg over these characters who are women who are nice but it makes for dull characters and plotlines it insults the ability of the audience to like women unless theyre completely sandblasted of anything potentially controversial. i have no idea what motivates baela to fight for rhaenyras cause other than ‘shes jaces nice girlfriend’. and thats really bad !! ned cat brienne sansa dany etc wanted and did things characters can be nice and morally good and motivated and compelling

[onskepa]

Left Behind: Moments

Here is another chapter of the left behind series! Hope you all enjoy!

Left behind series

---------------------

Jake’s pov 

“So ummm…..I was told to vlog my day to day stuff. Guess to keep record of things I do and not lose my shit on this planet” Jake tells himself on camera. It has been a few hours since he woke up from his cryo sleep. His body ached, felt like a statue from not moving for 5 years. 

“This is year is 2154….those fuckers lied. It's been 7 years since I left Earth for this jungle gym crap. 7 years felt like nothing. My baby girl, probably in her preteen years right now. I wonder how she is doing. I wouldn't blame her if she hates me, no scratch that. She is incapable of hate. Maybe mad, yeah. But not hate. I want this mission to be done and over with.” 

Jake’s pov

“First day in my avatar…gotta say, it felt fucking amazing. I was able to breathe the native air! Best part, I can run! WOOHOOO! YES! Oh man, never in my life have I felt this amazing. Though I did get carried away. When I woke up in my new body, the excitement got to me. I ran almost all over the fields, the basketball court, the botanical gardens, it felt great. Almost got in trouble but grace was there to save my ass” 

“Still have to adjust to this body, grace is giving me a week to get used to it. I am not the only one though, there is a weird guy named Normal Spellman. Nerdy but otherwise cool. He is the one who studies alongside with tommy. Good pals I can only imagine. He just got his avatar too”

“I bet if my baby girl was here, she would be surprised. With everything really. Maybe a bit scared. Would enjoy it no doubt. Learn how this planet works. I cant help it. I wonder what she is doing. Is she making friends? Doing good in school? So many things. But I know the sooner I get this mission done, the sooner I get home to her” 

“Gotta rest now, got a big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, singing out” 

Jake’s pov 

“Colonel Quaritch, tough and kinda scary guy but he keeps people safe here. As safe as it can get on this planet. Met him in the brief meeting as a welcome home type of talk. But, weirdly enough, I admire him. He seems to know what he is doing and how to do it. Said he has a special mission for me, didn't say what yet but to expect a visit from him soon” 

“I can worry about that later. Tomorrow starts a new mission. Get samples from more remote areas of the forest. Norm was given a special task. Try to make a peaceful contact with the aliens here. Na’vi is what they are called. Grace gave me a brief on them. Some important figures too. Guess they have a system of rulers here. Like the old native tribes back on Earth. My missions is to guard and make sure grace and norm get what they need” 

“I will be honest, does not seem too bad. Was given the ok to shoot any possible threats. Practice with the guns, proud to say I have not lost my aim. It is getting late but I still have to do this. Does keep my mind busy, recalling the day’s events. I am starting to get into a routine” 

“After shutting off the camera, I look at the picture of me and my daughter. I would stare at it for a while until my eyes drop. See this? It was the day I won a little toy for her at an arcade. She was so happy. Not often was I able to give her something new. Hopefully the paychecks are getting funded for her needs. I bet she is getting nice, brand new things” 

“So many birthdays I missed. Im so sorry baby girl, but I promise, the second I go back, I will give you the biggest hug ever. Buy you all the gifts you could ever want, hell, if the pay is that good, get a better place. Maybe close to your favorite park that you like to play in. Better yet, go to the zoo like you always wanted. I know you will be much older but I dont care. You are my baby girl for life. Nothing is going to change that” 

“Guess now I better log off. Big day tomorrow, this is Jake Sully, signing off”

Jake’s pov 

“Things didn't go right during the mission and I was split up from grace and norm. A giant weird animal, thana-something called by grace, deadly, found us. Had his eyes on me, grace told me to run so I went the opposite direction of where those to were, to not get them in the crossfire. Seriously, that animal was huge, but I guess by some miracle, a bigger animal came into view. Like in those old nature documentaries, the two giants began to fight. Either way, I made a run for cause I know it was not going to end pretty” 

“I got lost along the way, had no idea where I was or how far I was from the crew. Took me sweet time though. Admiring the pretty sights that Pandora had to offer. Felt like a kid again. Everything was bright, colorful, alive. I can see why the RDA wants to use the resources here. Crazy to think that Earth was one like this. Green, healthy, breathing” 

“Of course somewhere along the way I lost myself even more, lost my gun. Had to make a spear then turn it into  a torch because night came. Now night time felt like a whole different world. Everything glowed, pretty almost neon colors illuminated the plats. Some small creatures also glowed. Sad that I couldn't appreciate it enough. Got attacked” 

“Freaking hyena looking animals, running in a pack. The fire helped create a distance as I ran but they were too many, though I was done for. My ass got saved by an unlikely person” 

Jake’s pov 

“Neytiri, princess of the Omatikaya clan. Scary lady but she saved me. Called me a baby, and told me that I have a strong heart. Stuff happened and next thing you know, I am in their home base. Word passed and neytiri was tasked to train me. Teach me their ways. I am where the RDA needs me to be. It is now only a matter of time. Give the Colonel what he wants, give grace what she wants. It is a win-win situation” 

“Still holding out on that little meeting Quaritch wants to have with me. Maybe it won't be that far, since now I am within the premise of the indigenous, I guess I need to collect more info” 

“A lot happened so to say. I gotta rest soon. If allowed, I can bring something from here, take it with me when I get back home. Pictures seem the best answer. Or something na’vi related. My little girl knows so little of what is being told about pandora. Or knew I should say. How old is she now….? Probably a preteen. Guess I dodged a bullet. I know pre-teen years are hell. No, I shouldn't say that” 

“Soon baby girl. The wait will be worth it. Like I promised. Training day begins tomorrow, so, with that, this is jake sully, signing out” 

Jake’s pov 

“I am part of the people. I am the son of the people and child of Eywa. Passing my iknimaya, taming my ikran, everything. I am na’vi. It feels unreal, hard to accept. Tsu’tey and I are brothers, wasn't that long ago he wanted to kill me, calling me ugly, but now we are at the same level” 

“They celebrated my rebirth. It was fantastic, neytiri made me dance even though I was terrible at it. The whole thing felt magical. Truly, I felt like I really belonged somewhere, being accepted. It felt nice. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did get better” 

“Surprise surprise, I am now mated to neytiri. She took me to the tree of voices, telling me of how sacred and precious it is, being able to connect to their ancestors. It was beautiful. Neytiri was beautiful, still is. Taking my breath away, and my availability” 

“I wouldn't change it for anything, she is someone I have come to love with all my heart. As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. Neytiri changed me, made me better, and I have no regrets”

Jake’s pov 

“They are starting to pressure us, more like me. The RDA really want the omatikaya gone, away from their home tree. Just because it houses the materials they want. It is not easy, none of it is easy. To tell them to leave, when it's been their home for thousands of years. According to Grace, I don't doubt her. This is their home, it is us who are the aliens” 

“They are not going to leave, nothing is going to change their minds. Worst yet, I know quaritch will do drastic things to get what he wants. I was an idiot to follow him, to believe him. What he will do, knowing his tactics, he will shed blood and bullets. I need to warn neytiri, mo’at, tsu’tey. Can't believe this is coming out of my mouth, but I pray to Eywa, that she guides me. What can I do to make sure things don't go downhill” 

“I came to make good money, to finish the mission given to me and be done with. Now, I am in a moral dilemma. I am stuck” 

Jake’s pov

“I am sorry. No amount of sorry’s that I say will ever be enough for anyone. Not to neytiri, not to eytukan, not to mo’at, tsu’tey grace, norm, anyone. It will never be enough. I brought this to them, it is only right that I help. War is coming, and soon. So many na’vi died when they destroyed their home tree. Many wounded, kids, infants, innocent lives” 

“Grace and I did our best to warn them, tell them to leave. Tsu’tey was adamant to fight, their weapons useless against the valkyries. In an instant, all was gone. I wanted to apologize to neytiri, she was furious, telling me I am not one of those people. She is right. Before anything more could be done, those damn bastards forced me to pull out. Pushed me in a tight closure” 

“Quaritch, a beast he is, heartless. Keeping me locked up yet outside of my cage he dangles the picture of my little girl. Telling me it's not too late to take his side if I ever want to go back to earth and see her again. Going on about how she will react to all of this. Her father rebelling against humanity. As much as I hate to admit…”

“He is right….I dont know if I will see her again. I hate to say….sacrifices have got to be made. I'm sorry, but I have to atone my sins. Like I said, no amount of sorry’s will be enough. Not even for my little girl, I am sorry baby girl, but daddy is not coming home”

Jake’s pov 

“We won. Quaritch is dead, and unfortunately, so is Grace and tsu’tey. Both sides lost many lives. Yet that is war, but we won. Humans are no more, many left, only few remained. Sworn their loyalty to the na’vi. Only they can stay. We made many sacrifices, I made many.  Many I dont regret, or will look back to. This is the beginning of a new chapter for me. There is nothing left to hold me back, not my past, not my memories.  I am at peace with what I did” 

“Neytiri is with a child, I am excited, I am going to be a father. I cant wait when they arrive, I will be there, welcoming my son or daughter into a new world of peace. First born, neytiri likes to say it over and over.  She is not wrong, our first child together in a new era of peace” 

“However there is still one thing left to do. A grand celebration is going to be held” 

“This I look forward to, many are coming together for it. It is my birthday after all, can't miss my own party. So, one last time. This is Jake Sully, the human, signing out. For good” 

Third pov

A young girl looks at the last vlog of her father, Jake Sully, eyes wide as she takes in what she just saw. This was a side she never knew, nor did she think it would be hidden.  

She clenches her hands into a fist tightly, gritting her teeth, her body shaking in fury. Hot tears streaming down her face, not knowing whether to cry in sadness or scream in anger. So many emotions mixed, creating a tornado in her mind. 

Hearing a door open behind her, she turns to glare at the man. 

“Why….” was all she could say before breaking down.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that is it for this chapter of the ongoing series! This one I chose to have only jake be the main point, his vlogs. See how his mind changes, perspective and what lead to the final choice. Trust me, this will come back for future chapters. So until next time! See ya!

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[uncanny-tranny]

hey, i’d like some advice if you have any. i’d REALLY like to go on T… i look at folks on T and i’m just… enamored with their bodies. i look at tbears and i want to live within them. i spend a LOT of time looking at bottom growth pics. i love a lot of things about my body, but… having a small clitoris… lacking chest & tummy hair… i look at people who’ve made the leap and it aches, not to look like them. that’s the only way to describe it: a deep, howling ache. i love my breasts and my curves and sometimes i really love being a girl and a dyke but i know that i need these changes. i really need them.

but i love my voice. only occasionally it seems abrasively high or nasal… but i really, really love my voice. at some point recently i started to sing again after a long, long time of shaming myself out of it, and i had forgotten that my voice is beautiful. and it’s me. i love my voice. i’m not averse to the idea of sounding deeper… but it’ll come at the cost of losing my upper range. i’ll NEVER be able to sound like that again. i’ll try to go high and it’ll feel like my voice is being replaced. i don’t know if i’ll really hate it when my voice changes… but i’m scared. i think i’ll probably like how i’ll sound, but what if it doesn’t feel like me? is there any way to prepare myself? what if there’s just no way for me to live with both a body and voice of my own?

this is a lot of heavy stuff. my best idea at the moment is to talk to a doctor about all this, hope they have some suggestions, and try to get compounded testosterone cream, since that can supposedly help prioritize bottom growth over other changes. but i’m really scared and lonely about this. i don’t know anyone else who grew up a girl and wants to be a girl on T… i only know two trans people. i know very few people in general. and i’m too scared to try and talk to anyone about all of these feelings. the way you talk about this stuff is always so full of love, in a way that makes love feel possible, so if there’s anything you can say to help guide me or validate me here, i would really appreciate it. this is really difficult for me to talk about.

I totally understand where you are coming from; the very nature of medical transition is based on possibilities and uncertainties.

I think the thing we tend to do is assume that these changes will happen almost instantly. However, the vocal changes are very gradual, at least in my experience.

I'll remind everyone that I am not a medical expert, and my thoughts come from personal experience and observation and listening to fellow people on testosterone.

I'll list some highlights of my experience to illustrate this and include a chart of my voice drop:

The first voice-related change was actually soreness when I spoke, but not really a true drop

I had many voice cracks, and they were sometimes painful

The changes started gradually from month one or two to around the year mark give or take

My initial dose: 0.25mg IM/weekly

My current: 0.35mg IM/weekly

If you choose a testosterone regimen, I would suggest considering micro dosing. That way, you have a bit more control over how gradual the changes are. The testosterone will still change your endocrine system, but it won't be as sudden as it would be with a "typical" dose. My testosterone reached a typical perisex man's at approximately month six with my dosage, and by then, I had many changes begin to mature (such as bottom growth, the beginning of new hair growth, and my voice beginning to mature with more finality).

I honestly don't know how I really prepared myself for the changes I wasn't too sure about... I mostly came at it with a sense of desperation, and so I get where you are coming from. I truly hope you can get a medical team which will give you some options that best fit you. If you have any other questions or want me to expand, I am happy to do so, because I do genuinely want to show support. You're going to find something that works, I think. I have so much hope and faith in you, and I wish you only the best on this journey.

[pebblewsa]

My AU !!!

so !! this is the first part of many >_>

i have refs for 2 characters so far !! (theyre kind of a work in progress and some details may change in the future jhdsjhsd)

so ! first off !! donnie boy !!

in this AU, somewhat early during the apocalypse the power their base was using started dwindling super quickly considering nobody was prepared for the onslaught of the kraang, so they searched for other power sources.

turns out, kinda hard to find viable power in the apocalypse, especially since at this point the little colony that the turtles were apart of were too scared to go out and scrounge for leftover batteries, or even spare parts for their generator. donnie did what he could, of course, but even his genius is hindered by time and lack of resources. so !! said genius discovered he can replicate the generator power needed with his ninpo, with him as the sole conduit.

this, of course, takes all the energy he has to keep going, and for a while he goes at like. very high amounts of power to keep everything going, barely taking breaks. him being a conduit running electricity through himself for a long time has its. uh. side effects.

anyway !! the other i have rn is leo !! (im still not completely satisfied with his design ngl-- i might change it later :3)

i might add scars to him later if i can come up with reasons/ways he got em yknow but uh. yeh, i wanted to add some things to his mission design but i also really liked the one he had in the movie? gave the boy some elbow pads lmao

i imagine he lost his swords in the chaos of the kraang arrival but i also like to think after a while he finds at least one of em or somethin. i also like to think he eventually loses an arm but its such a recent development that hes still not used to the prosthesis and prefers to go without it. (also hes kinda a dumdum and donnie wasnt able to teach him how to use/repair it hehe)

but ye !! designs are still in their early stages and theres lots of stuff i havent mentioned here cus the au itself is still a massive work in progress but im excited for it !

next post containing this au is gonna be the other half of the turtle team !! (and maybe the caseys + april if im up for it but yknow xP)

[idkbishsss]

About the Daryl Dixon show

I have very different opinions and these are MINE opinions, so please read below knowing that. I will be talking about points I see people make a lot btw. Also spoilers for the show. ALSO, I haven’t seen the show yet. I’ve only seen episode one this is just about spoilers and leaks. If I get anything wrong I apologize. If you want to talk I’m welcome! Please keep it civil though🙏 My asks and dms are open to conversation as well:3

(This may see unorganized and stuff. Sorry)

First and foremost. Why the Isabelle hate? I keep seeing people say she was a bitch and stuff, but she never came off that way to me. Maybe im missing something(please feel to tell me if so. I don’t care for spoilers)

Okay I’m going to cover a few things then get into the kiss and why I don’t think it destroys Daryl’s character🙏

“He would go back to his family. He wouldn’t stay there” He does TRY to go back but then a CHILD, that he’s very close to gets attacked. Of course he’s going to save the kid. It’s a kid. It’s also pretty hard to get back home me thinks.

Also I see many people making it just about who he’s “in love” with. HE WOULDNT ABANDON A CHILD THATS GOTTEN CLOSE TO HIM??? (“What about Judith” He knows Judith has other people and is safe. Judith can also fight and most of the people around her can too. Unlike these new people. I’m also sure he misses Judith dearly and wants to see her again.)

Also even if Daryl didnt go home because he fell in love. Let’s think what happened last time he went home and away from someone he loved(Leah) So yeah, maybe he doesn’t want to lose people close to him. (Which is something that’s effective him a lot) Maybe he’s experiencing complex emotions about how he feels which is why he’s not leaving. Again it’s also REALLY hard to leave.

“He wouldn’t fall in love with a woman hes know for 2 weeks” Did y’all not see Leah… he saw that girl 2 times in a year and was head over heels😭(I know I know. She was bad. Ngl I’m thinking about posting a rant about her) Also fall in love is a stretch. No I haven’t seen the episodes but I’m sure most of everyone has only seen spoilers.

“What about Connie” I love them don’t get me wrong but they aren’t canon. Heavily implied? Yeah. But feelings can change. And Daryl has VERY complicated feelings😭 (I AM A SHIPPER BUT PLEASE. Just calm down about that one. It makes it more shipper war than actually criticism of the show. Same goes for Carol and Daryl shippers. Also this doesn’t go to all of you, just some of you)

Okay as for the kiss. Do I think Daryl would fall in love again? Yes, but he’d be scared of showing it to the point where he does something LIKE kissing someone in a way where it seems weird. He’s lost a lot of people who he never got to show love and affection. People he loved/cared for that he didn’t get to show affection for. Since then he let his walls get lower and be more comfortable with things (notice how he treated new people in s1-s2 and how he treats them s10-s11) People like Rick Carol Maggie and more helped him see that he CAN be affectionate. (Which is why I think he was so comfortable with people like Leah at first. He clicked with her and he was okay with being close with her. No I don’t like there relationship BUT it is a good canon example even if not perfect)

But I don’t think he was in love with Isa(using nicknames here). I think he just cared for her and didn’t know what to do or how to deal with it. I think he also knew he’d go back and lose her at some point. Again, he’s lost a lot of people, and most those people he didn’t show much love or affection. If you think about that you can think about how maybe he wants Isa to know that he does care for her in some way before he leaves or before she dies. I’m sure he’s affected about everything that’s really happened to him. That shit changes a person and how they act.

“He’s never said I love you to anyone but Carol” I honestly think this a valid statement. I do think it would take time for him to build that up and REALLY feel comfortable with someone. But I’ve known people who are like that and then one day they just click with someone. Or then impulsively do things like kissing or saying I love you. Even if they really don’t fully mean it. I don’t know if Daryl said that to Isa, but to me it would still make sense to me.

I think so many people think these words “I love you” have to have a deep meaning where you really do love them. But sometimes the meaning is just that they seem right in the moment even if they aren’t perfect. Or they just have a different meaning to a person using them. Daryl doesn't love one person the same.

Also Daryl’s changed A LOT from s1. Even from s11. I don’t like how people are comparing them like he’s stay the same all the way through (not everyone just some people)

Someone said he didn’t really say yes to dancing with Connie in s11. But they were in a safe space where Daryl could fully think about his emotions without everything else in the world going on. Those two situations are very different.

also the nun fetish comments are wild. I think falling in love with a nun or just kissing a nun is not a nun fetish. (I will give the nuns cant fall in love points ofc. I’m not stupid)

Now do I think Daryl and Isa are cute? Not really. I’m not a big shipper BUT this is my opinions on it right now.

I wanted to go into more (Leah and his relationship with others) And the whole “he’s choosing them over people he’s known 10+ years” but… that one is just so clearly lying bull shit(sorry that’s mean) But I won’t go in to any of that, it’s a separate rant on it own.

At the end of the day, it’s just a kiss. (Also 95% sure she dies so. You don’t have to worry about him falling in love affecting him ig. We all now how the writes handle most deaths)

And who knows maybe in the next season or a new show they explain it better. Maybe I’ll see the episode and I’ll change my mind completely!

also sorry if this comes off mean or like condescending. This is really just my opinion and I think some people (not all) are being really overdramatic (also… stupid. Okay that was like one person on twitter BUT THEY WERE SAYING WILD SHIT. Shit I won’t repeat😭)

You cannot like the kiss and not like the show and not like the way they are going with Daryl’s character. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to have opinions on it. This is just MY opinions🙏 (I’m also a little tired of seeing hate when I just want to see some fanart of twd sometimes on my tumblr timeline LMAOOO)

Thank you for reading, again I’m open to a civil discussion. If you’re just going to be hateful, please don’t😓

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hello! I was wondering if you had any resources for doubt in your faith and God? I know doubt is a very healthy part of faith, but it still feels very scary. I've always believed in God but lately I've been doubting lately, and it genuinely makes me sad. I feel like God has held me so many times and has been there for me and others so many times, but for some reason I still doubt. I have OCD and it attacks the values I care about the most, and I'm pretty sure why I'm doubting God so much is because of that. It just scares me because I genuinely don't want to let go of my faith. It also feels awful because sometimes I pray and try to connect with God and im very content and believe in God, and then a couple minutes later I'm back to doubting His existence and it just feels so awful, having these ups and downs. I don't want to let go of God, especially the God that loves me so much. I have nothing against atheists or anything, I just can't imagine myself not believing and trusting in God. If you could also please pray for me that would be amazing. Thank you so much, may God always be with you <3

I'm sending you love and support, anon. Doubt is difficult; it's okay to feel scared or saddened or anything else by it. Doubt being a natural part of faith doesn't change that. Especially when you know your OCD is at play; I feel deeply for you as you struggle with that sense of an internal attack on what you hold dear, and I know God aches for you, too.

I want to start with the promise that when you have doubts, God isn't mad at you for it, or disappointed. God is with you in it. You won't lose your relationship with God, not ever! I know it's one thing to know that logically, and another to truly feel it, but I hope the knowledge brings a little comfort.

My main recommendation is Barbara Brown Taylor's book Learning to Walk in the Dark, which explores a "lunar spirituality" that accepts that faith, like the moon with its phases, waxes and wanes naturally. It also invites the reader to sit with difficult emotions like fear and sadness as important parts of the human experience, with advice for feeling more comfortable with emotions and experiences that those of us raised with a "solar spirituality" are taught to avoid at all costs.

If you're interested, your local library or even church library may have a copy; if not and you're unable to afford a copy for yourself, message me and I'll buy you a copy (ebook or used paperback). (You can read a few excerpts here first if you're not sure whether it's the book for you.)

Beyond that, you may find some helpful stuff in my doubt tag, or my #faith tag.

I will be holding you in my prayers <3

O God who knows our pain, our fears, our sorrows intimately, enfold this person in your comfort and warmth. Help them feel how your love is without end, without conditions, and is far stronger than any doubt they could have or thought their OCD could construct. Hold them close as they journey through their doubts, and learn to ask questions without fear. In time, may they come know to a joy that is deeper than easy answers, a faith that can weather the chillest doubt and even draw nourishment from that doubt. Amen.

[freakurodani]

top 5 haikyuu moments !! (can be particular scenes or episodes or arcs) :D

OKAY!!! so i had to gather visuals for this one bc i have many feelings about this!! I went for scenes that no matter how many times i watch, they never lose their magic for me, no matter that i know theyre coming, it still takes my breath away and makes me roll around with delight, these most of these i feel like are probably pretty obvious ones, they were meant to be impactful but ough, if they dont tear me up in the best way

SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1.

I mean, what can i say??? what IS there to say?? theyve been teammates for a few weeks at this point, but hinata has given all his trust to kageyama and in turn, kageyama promised to use it to its full potential. its also a promise for their rivalry!! like, okay okay okay think about it, with the context we have with Kazuyo, kageyama has *already* decided that hinata is going to be his someone better! he sees it innately and he wants to draw it out of him, and he's, hes trying to be *hinatas* someone better too!! do u understand *shakes you* do u see what i mean!!! i mean, im sure u do, im definitely not the first person to go insane about this and ppl have probably also said it in a way thats smarter than me but just, ough

2.

its,,,, its,,, the acceptance of it all,,, i just think about how *alone* kageyama must have felt after his grandfather passed, we see and know that hes not good at connecting with people. hes bad at communicating and hes sensitive and he's scared of getting complacent. like, the all youth camp arc and atsumu calling him a goody-two-shoes is kageyama struggling with how he is changing, how hes trying to incorporate the influences he's gotten from his betters, and he cherishes it, but he's also felt like the advice he'd been given didn't also mesh with certain parts of himself. or, thats how i read into it, anyway. he tries so *hard* to be what ppl need him to be, and he's *so scared* of being rejected again. and this is hinata (and the rest of karasuno) telling him "HEY! we like you! we think you're smart and you dont have to shoulder connection all on your own! let us help you connect with us in a way where you feel comfy too :)" and then they talk about how they want communication! and it works!! and i just *rips into a pillow with my teeth*

3.

HINATA'S PERFECT RECEIVE!!!!! so the inarizaki match is probably my favorite?? there are so many good moments but *this?* you wanna see me go insane? do you want smth thatll make me tear up? every time!! its just!!! a beautiful culmination of all of hinatas hard work that he's put into during the year! its his change of mindset! its his growth!! he's fallen a level deeper in love with volleyball and ive fallen a level deeper in love with his character

4.

halo around the moon <3 Tsukki's block, his hard work, his character arc and development and everything is just *chefs kiss*. i remember the first time i watched the show, i,, *hated* tsukishima, and i think we definitely arent supposed to like him at first, but GOD does that turn around!! and this moment just feels so *earned* and *epic* and in the end HE STILL ISNT SATISFIED!!!!! he STILL wanted more!!! this point was worth 100 god fucking damn!!

5.

im talking about the inarizaki match again!! but this time with a focus on Tanaka, who kind of struggled with this match! he was in a low place during it, felt stagnated and lame. Tanaka, as a character, i would say is best characterized by his mental fortitude and stability, funny enough. He's wild, but i think part of his visual design lends that as his base (since he's often compared to buddhas/monks). But in this match, we get more depth, we see him falter and struggle! it takes more than just a slap to his cheeks to get better (tho tsukishima does point out that he gets out of his depression pretty fast) but like, tanaka uses meaningful cognition to break his rut, and its also just like, advice that I've seen used for stuff like any kind of creative block as well. The visual during the animation, he's climbing up the stairs, he's slowing down, he's coming face to face with a canyon, a plateau. He sees two options, give in, or push forward and he picks "the cooler" one, and struggles forward, forces himself ahead! and kageyama backs him up too, by not letting him back down, assuring him that his usefulness hasnt reached its end and AUGH I LOVE A TEAM YALL

okay thank u so much for the excuse to ramble about haikyuu moments that mean everything to me <33333

[kylejsugarman]

Idk if you’ve answered this already but at what point in their relationship did Jesse tell Demi ab his past? How did that go over? How much does she know?

ive mentioned it some before but i haven't really gone super in depth!! as u all may know, i am very "and then everyone made it to alaska and everything ended up ok!! :)" minded, so i dont have a big dramatic revelation beat to my story and ultimately, jesse never tells demi that he's living under a completely new identity. however, he does tell her a Lot of other things, partially because he trusts her, partially because he feels guilty keeping things from her that might make her see him differently; he feels that she deserves to know how fucked up he is so she can escape him and avoid tying herself down to a mistake. jesse first tells her about his drug use after demi explains how her sister died, again out of that guilt and the expectation that she won't want to associate with a former(ish) addict, but demi saw firsthand how powerful addiction can be and isnt scared off. when it comes to his criminal history, it takes him a little longer to work up the nerve to disclose that stuff: he's afraid of both endangering her by letting her know what he's done and losing her. he drops a few things along the way, usually related to drug dealing and production since she was so understanding of that aspect of his past, but once they decide to get married, he feels that he owes it to her to be totally honest. the dark details of making and selling the drugs, being around violence and controlling figures. enacting violence himself. losing people. being sold into slavery. he leaves out specific identifying details (demi's never been a current events kind of person but he cant risk her connecting those dots) and places a lot of the blame on himself instead of trying to describe the people from his past who were pulling a lot of those strings. its basically an abridged version of the show's events, no names, no details in certain places (he doesnt even tell her which state he used to live in), and no forgiveness.

demi listens patiently the whole time, not asking many questions along the way. she tenses up when he touches on captivity, but otherwise her demeanor remains open and nonjudgmental. when it's over, she doesn't say anything, which is somehow worse than disgust. jesse is so wound up at this point that he flips out on her, insisting that this is her time to cut her losses. he's a criminal, a fucking murderer. he's evil. demi still doesnt react the way he wants and instead just waits until he's out of venom before reaching out to very gently smooth down his hair. petting the angry, upset dog instead of reflexively giving him away. "im sorry you've had to carry that around with you all this time," she says softly and that breaks him. because it Has been so hard carrying that around. demi asks a few more questions, clarifies a few more things, then tells him what she thinks. that she's seen how he acts now, how he treats people, how he treats himself. that she grew up with a father who sounds like the figures he alluded to in his story. that she is uncertain and insecure about a lot of things, but she's never been more sure that jesse is a good person and that she loves him irrespective of whatever came before. "im dangerous," he insists, a former fighting dog that would rather die than return to the ring. a hand on his own—"then why do i feel so safe with u?"

it's not perfect. there will always be things that jesse never shares with her and he will never totally forgive himself because as the one living person who knows the Extent of what went down, he feels that it's his responsibility to hold himself accountable for It for the rest of his life. demi's perception of him Does change, although not entirely in a negative way, and she is a little hurt that he expected her to bail so quickly and she can't lie and say that her mind doesn't occasionally drift to the fact that her husband has killed people. but at the end of the day, they're two broken people who were utterly convinced that their lives were over before they found each other. this is their second chance at life and they're never going to take that or each other for granted. whatever comes, they're going to face it together

[themostsanebug]

i fear i may be cooking moon lore so im just gonna drop my horrible little devious thoughts here.

first of all. moon is OBVIOUSLY not human. xe is in fact like. SOME form of creature may or may not make xem an alien whose looks are impacted by where xe is born hence. xem LOOKING like and being NAMED moon! and also an explanation for xem glowing and having a tail.

on that topic! moon obviously has no memories of ever being outside of earth. xe just lives a rather normal life outside of that actually. so the entire 'being an odd creature left on a planet not your own' thing doesnt really shock xem. xis parents also raised xem on earth so. xe is fine in that regard. good parents and good sense of self.

okay! now where stuff actually picks up! xe is a practically ageless creature, xis species not really celebrating birthdays or anything, but xe is in xis early 30's! once again. xe looks young because. DIFFERENT SPECIES. that part is important for this next part actually, i promise. in xis early 20's, xe was in college and managed to cling onto this ONE specific friend group. lets just say. they SUCKED. due to most of the group not even liking xem. the group decided to play a silly little prank on xem!

the prank was xem getting framed for assult and having the cops called on xem. uh. yeah! xe found xis ass in jail for 5 years! in that time, xis parents fucking died too. so xe wasnt even able to say goodbye to them. and after xe was let out? xis record was almost entirely ruined. not many places would hire xem anymore so xe didnt even want to try and continue college. without anywhere to live and without money to buy a place, xe ended up just staying in the streets for a while.

but dont worry chat! xe was still allowed ONE simple form of connection to anything that brought xem hope; a library computer. so xe began to search! eventually landing on a restaurant called 'freddy fazbenders.' xe read up on all of the incidents they publicized from the locations, every rumor, every review, every little thing xe could find. xe knew the job was a risk after all of that, but xe also knew a job was a job. and boom! we end off where we are!

THIS. IS VERY SUBJECT TO CHANGE!!!! but yeah rough lore for moon :3c

in short. xe is so scared of losing those near to xem, xe WILL let xemself be used as a doormat by anyone and everyone xe loves.

[tomystars]

dissecting episode 1

(under the microscope. im mostly dissecting jaewon hes so interesting to study as a queer person myself, smiles)

ignoring the very first clip which shows waves and someone grabbing someone else... a bit confusing i dont have many thoughts about this.

ANYWAY ! we first see jaewon sitting on a couch in a office perhaps? with an aquarium (we see this again on the intro of episode 2 and if you see the trailer theres a close up of his face on the same place as well) and a women sits down in front of him and asks him what his worries are. now i cant make much sense of her behaviour cause she suddenly starts laughing? but id think shes some sort of counselor. now this could be for 2 reasons: one. he just left the military after finishing his mandatory time and it might be a thing they do? or two some other reason we dont know most likely. TRAUMA shocking i know.

then we have the restaurant scene. we see jaewon talking with his friends but his face changes when his friends keeps talking about how jaewon has a great life and connections and money and everything he wants and i dont want to state the obvious but... thats clearly not the case which is why we can see jaewon upset with the conversation even though he doesnt say anything about it and even forgives his friend... his relationship with his parents is most likely not the best and we can see that by the messages his mom sends and the way we can just see him in front of his gate but not getting inside.

then. their first real scene. jaewon asks jihyun for a cigarette he goes and grabs TWO which surprises jaewon a little bit and makes him happier probably because thats different not a lot of people would do that. they talk but its very casual like and somehow jaewon mentions a "동생" and gets real quiet, as if something had happened with that person. now, its translated as "younger brother/sister" because thats the only english word that it can translate to EVEN THOUGH (and im saying this as someone with very limited korean language knowledge) its not the most correct one because its just a word that people use to call someone whos younger than them (yes siblings count lol). so is he talking about a younger sibling or someone else? who knows.

when his friends grab him to go home he leaves but he isnt expecting for jihyun to just grab his hand and give him a lighter (it was such an intimate scene as well, very queer coded) and THATS what caught jaewons attention. because at first he was just making conversation, but that small moment changed how the path of their futures (hope im not getting too philosophical), and he even stopped and looked as jihyun left.

fast foward next day, jihyun sees jaewon and goes afterhim but loses him and finds the poster for free bird instead (soulmatism i say). and its at this point i realize i havent spoken much abour jihyun so ill start now. we know hes a small town boy, isnt used to such a big city like seoul and is even confused with all this new stuff hes seeing. thats how jaewon and him are different. to me, jihyuns fear is based on unfamiliarity and the unknown, hes still getting to know all these new things that hes never known before and thats why he later mentions that thats the reason he signed up for the surf club. he doesnt really know how to swim but he wants to try and face this new challenge onwards. jaewons fear is more rooted on past experiences and trauma is my guess. he knows who he is but hes scared or hes scared of the result if he tries something. i think its going to start to get better the more he gets to know jihyun and the more he gets comfortable with him.

the cafeteria. jihyuns eating alone and jaewon is suddenly there and thanking him for the other day (he means it. that second cigarette probably was everything to him at that time) and starts to get a bit bold with him, and asking him why he didnt call and at this point there are so many jihyun reactions where you can just tell how this type of relationship is new to him but also how he wants to explore it and find out where it takes him.

we can see that when he meets jaewon again outside the restaurant and says "if we're going to be friends we need to know each others names" and jaewons truly gets a bit paralysed? confused? about it, he wasnt expecting jihyung to say something like that. tells him his name and leaves.

going a bit back, jaewon is at the same restaurant again. why? because he remembered that it was the restaurant jihyuns worked at and he convinced his friends to go inside with some excuse only to look for jihyun but... he wasnt there. things start to go downhill when his friends mention his ex who he wants to have nothing to do with and just wants to forget and one of them even invites her over! some friend he is... jaewon gets reasonably upset (ill talk about what i think happened with the break up on the ep2 essay bare with me), leaves and jihyun goes after him. in this scene i dont think jaewon is upset with him but it was a mixture of a lot of things, disappointment from not seeing jihyun when he was the reason he went to the restaurant in the first place, anger at his supposed friend inviting his ex who he doesnt like and thats why he says "i didnt see you earlier" with this really empty sort of expression.

and lastly, the very last scene. he sits with jihyun for two reasons: be away from his ex but also because he genuinely wants to continue whatever this relationship with jihyun is. it makes him happy and its different and GOOD something that he doesnt have a lot going around his life...

yea... thats it. my thoughts are all scattered but yea lets talk about it if u want i have so much to say still and i want to hear what everyone else is thinking and i also want to mention how much i love this already it was hook line sinker the first episode it. it just feels so raw and perfect and so queer coded to which is why i want to kind of gatekeep it from people who are just watching bc its u know... a bl (will i be persecuted like the witches used to by saying this... hm)

the playlist is so good as well been on repeat for hours

[brionysea]

any characters specifically?? there's so many lol

ooo i was mainly thinking abt (what i call) the gang- Lucas, max, dustin, el, Mike, will etc- and possibly Nancy if that’s okay? im sorry if this is too much to ask of you and I hope you have a great day!!!!! :D

lucas

colour - green

deepest fears - ??? idk. assuming this is for a vecna fic or something, i guess play around with whatever's happened at this point in the timeline. seeing max die is a huge one, and all the "being violently targeted by insane white boys for daring to Exist While Black" is bound to have taken a toll on him (not that canon's acknowledged any of it, of course)

aesthetic - uh... basketballs. they look good on the aesthetic moodboard for him in my brain right now

max

colour - orange and/or rainbow. the first part might just be because i'm obsessed with red hair (hello, childhood obsession with the little mermaid and red-haired!paige from charmed), but max wears a LOT of rainbows

deepest fears - becoming like billy (continuing the cycle of violence) and that her friends (and mother) think she deserves the same fate as him (dying horribly and painfully via the upside down and traumatising someone as she does). season 4 was great for her :)

aesthetic - skateboards

dustin

colour - ???? my brain is saying blue but i have no idea. maybe someone in the notes knows?

deepest fears - probably a loss of control. he likes to Be Prepared and Have All The Knowledge. having no idea what's going on and being completely unprepared for any bad things that might pop up is the inverse of that

aesthetic - library books

el

colour - pink

deepest fears - that she's a monster

aesthetic - she doesn't really know who she is yet, so like... idk, some of those bright oufits she wore in season 3?? there were a LOT of hearts scattered around her bedroom in season 4, she seems to really like those <3

mike

colour - blue. including (but not limited to) a blue so deep that it looks black

deepest fears - being unwanted, being rejected for something he can't change about himself. in essence, that he's inherently unlovable

aesthetic - i went for a bike for my aesthetic mike wheeler playlist picture. wheels, wheeler. you get it

will

colour - yellow

deepest fears - oh god. i don't think about him enough for this. considering his two biggest breakdowns so far have been about losing mike, i guess that? the whole thing about being a freak, keeping parts of himself secret, being treated like this fragile little baby (when if anything being a survivor makes him the opposite). i'm not the right person to ask about will tbh

aesthetic - art, drawing, sketchbooks. dungeons and dragons, nintendo, wizard imagery

nancy

colour - purple/pink

deepest fears - maybe just watch her vecna vision sequence again? lol. she's mostly got survivor's guilt and blames herself for not saving barb. she's scared of that happening again, e.g. when she was the first to dive into the lake after steve, because she refuses to do nothing again like when barb got dragged into steve's pool yelling for nancy's help (which fred dying on her watch was an echo of)

aesthetic - my initial, instinctive thought is "girlboss" lol. guns, notebooks (re: investigative journalism). there's a wall of stuff in her room that el looks at in season 1 which might be helpful (i'm thinking of the little photostrip of nancy and barb messing around and laughing like el and max did in season 3)

[midnightfire830]

I said I would type a paragraph and I am,,,,,can he fly to the sun?? If he flys to the sun would he be able to feel the heat??, how high can he physically go without disintegrating?? If he encounters a black hole would he survive??, what things can repel him?? Can he go underground like solid underground???,could he go to the upper???, can he posses stuff like dolls, can he change his ghost form to scare people?? Kinda like what ms chalice did in the cuphead show,can he speak to other ghosts??,can he loose control while in ghost form?,if he goes to his physical form how long would he be able to stay like that untill he goes back to his ghost form??,can magical beings such as Alice or bendy since his presence??,is there any runes that could bring him back??,can he get through magical barriers??,can he posses animals??,can he sense magical beings?,does cuphead have demon magic in him??,if he was to posses someone could he read that persons mind??,can he sense when other ghosts are possessing his friends?,can he still use his magical bullets??,can he posses a demon like bendy??,can he breath underwater???,what’s the fastest he can fly??,can he go invisible??,yes that is a lot of questions and sorry I didn’t send in the ask earlier😭,I was practically sleep the whole morning lol

. . .

Holy crap.

I leave to grab lunch and there’s a whole essay in my inbox. Charlixc3… my respect, bud. 🫡

Anyway! To answer your many, many questions:

- I assume because he’s a ghost and can pass through anything, doesn’t need to breath, and gravity and temperature doesn’t have an effect on him he could fly to the sun, go into a black hole, go through solid ground, travel to the upper, and can go underwater. (But traveling to the sun would take probably thousands of years with how far away the Sun is from the Earth. No, im not sure how fast he can travel)

- A parry from a dish, possibly some magical creatures that interact with ghosts and souls could probably do something to him.

- I bet he could possess dolls and other solid objects but it would be easier to slip control because the object isn’t built to host a soul, if that makes sense. But he wouldn’t be rejected from the object BECAUSE there is no soul.

- He can transform when he’s a ghost like Ms. Chalice. But its much more natural to stay in his normal form.

- He can speak to other ghosts. (Dishes are also more perceptive of spirits and stuff so that also would help with that.)

- If he goes on a rampage he gets stuck in which ever form he was in, so if he was a ghost, then yes he could go on a rampage as a ghost. Also if he’s, like, very angry, or emotional he does start to lose some control of his abilities. Flickering between forms at random, causing objects to fly across the room, mess with electricity and lights, make the room go cold. That kind of thing.

- Cup can stay in either form however long he wants. However if he was injured in his physical form, he could switch to his ghost form to slow the injury. But too long without the injury getting taken care of drains his energy and eventually he’d be forced to switch back and have to get it taken care of. It works in a pinch but isn’t a permanent solution. That’s the only situation i can think of that could be an exception.

- Alice and Bendy could probably sense his presence, but not as easily as a dish could. Maybe if his emotions were heightened or if he were on a rampage then they could sense him easily.

- I assume you mean runes to switch him to different forms? Possibly. A more effective way to get him to switch would be a parry or salt, his one weakness. Salt burns him in both forms, and forces him back to his normal form. Mugs keeps salt water on him in the case of an emergency. Salt water doesn’t burn cup as much because its more diluted. It still stings as all hell.

- Depends on the magical barrier. Some might specifically be made to ward off ghosts and in which case he wouldn’t be allowed to enter, or he could possibly go in if he stays in his physical form but it would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable for him. Or the barrier would force him into is ghost form and not allow him to enter. Ig it depends.

- He could probably possess animals. But it’s my own personal headcannon that Cuphead loves animals more than a lot of people and would want no harm to come to them.

- He can sense magical beings about as well as OG cuphead can.

- No demon magic. And no telepathy. Sorry :(

- Yes, he could probably sense if another ghost possessed someone else.

- I can’t remember what I had decided for the bullet one. My guess is yes he can use it but it’s not a strong. And maybe more effective on other ghosts. Idk

- He could probably possess a demon, but it would be waaaayyyy more difficult because they are very strong beings that deal with the soul, have souls that work differently from other species, and their physical forms are fluid so cup would be dealing with a very difficult host. And he’d most likely would be rejected from the body much faster with more serious drawbacks. Hat still trained him to possess demons tho, so, he knows how to at least. He just hates doing it.

- Yes, he can go invisible, but his presence can still be sensed by other magical creatures.

- I LOVE THE MUGMAN DRAWING AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Whew! That was a lot! XD

Thanks tho! I enjoy answering all these questions!!!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

How do you feel about all the attention you get? How does it feel? Is it sort of surreal? Are you used to it? Is it something you've been working towards or something you changed upon?

I'm a writer myself and I find myself sort of in awe of the work you tend to do and the attention you get for it. You're a very good writer but your methods are also good advertising in a way. Though, it's not really advertising, it's just work that draws attention to itself.

Sometimes I find myself wishing I could have your sort of attention, other times Im glad I don't.

I hope you don't find this ask offensive, I don't mean it to be rude.

I got this so long ago I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer it I'm just really bad at cleaning out my inbox.

I'm going to be completely honest: most of the time I don't...realize it? It's a weird thing over the internet to be like 'oh yeah there's this many people reading and engaging with my stuff' but it's a hard thing to realize over what's mostly numbers and notifications. That sounds really bad, I know, but every single time i genuinely get to connect with someone i'm always like OHMYGOD WAIT YOU READ MY STUFF??? IT RESONATED WITH YOU???

It is a dream of mine to be a published author who can support myself entirely through my writing. In that very cynical capitalist way, sometimes i think about it like building my reader base??? but i do wonder like if I wrote original fiction would you guys read it, or are you just here cause i can make tropes and characters and fandoms that are popular? on the rare occasions that i do want to post original work i get scared that people won't like it or won't be interested in it and lose interest in me as a writer in general

one of my friends once told me that they were having a conversation online just with a random person and they said that i was their favorite ao3 author and i fully shut down for like 20 minutes. sometimes i say something out loud to a friend (or a moot) about how i don't feel like i'm that big of an author and then they go asbod what the fuck are you talking about so that's always fun

i do get scared that i won't be able to keep writing, like at some point people are going to either get bored of me or decide i'm actually not as good a writer as they thought i was, but it is surreal that someone who's never met me in real life has been impacted by one of my little scribbly things I posted online

i dunno if that answers your question (literally half a year later i'm so sorry again) but those are my nonsense thoughts on the matter