#burned gryffindor secondary

[rrezshifts]

“ it’s always been you . . . but you wouldn’t let it be „

ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀꜱ ᴜɴɪ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ 𝓲𝙣𝖙𝙧𝙤

theodore hermès. is a current hogwarts university first year. the son of a wealthy french pureblood wizard and a indigenous mexican pureblood witch. the born wealthy and elite young wizard was born in france and was raised between there and the americas. when it came time to attend a magical school, his parents chose ilvermorny over beauxbatons. as he attended the american school his parents, as well as him on his breaks, still lived between the two countries. that was until a business venture left both his parents with no option but to find a permanent stay in england (note: as permanent as a wealthy family and boundless magical transportation can get you). before his third year at ilvermorny could start, theodore, nicknamed “theo” or “dior”, and at this moment in time, legally named theodora, transferred to hogwarts secondary school.

y’all wanted a “romantic” fanfic [novel] right?

sirius black. first met theodore with the rest of his friend group, the so-called marauders. theo had sat down for the first dinner feast of the year after being sorted to gryffindor privately when he had first made it on to school grounds. the closest empty seat was right next to the curly haired boy. him and the other three boys were very welcoming, while a girl named lily evans and her two friends were very interested in getting to know theo. as he spoke up, answering any of the seven’s questions, one boy seemed to catch on to theo’s accent. as he was raised multiculturally the accents of both his mother and father melded as they flowed out of his mouth, fighting each other for dominance on certain consonants and vowels. sirius black, after asking dumb questions prior to this moment, asked another, “why does your voice sound like that?” he said. and the blonde haired girl sitting next to lily cackled as james scolded sirius for his rude question. sirius tried to explain himself, muttering on about how it sounded american but also… not. theo laughed at that and explained that he was both american and french. sirius posture shot up as his eyes sparkled with excitement, he started spitting out french. and when theo responded back with exact & perfect french, he jumped up in his seat as he continued the conversation.

james had told sirius that was the exact moment the boy fell in love with theodore hermès, but he would deny it, saying he in fact remembered the exact moment he fell for the boy. it wasn’t too long after the start of their third year, autumn had rolled around. and it seemed the falling leaves were conspiring as they do in most romance novels, cruel fate. sirius and theo were sitting outside, bundled in their robes, and studying for their shared potions class, when a single leaf broke off from a branch above and landed gently in sirius’ hair. so gentle only theo seemed to notice. the boy across from him placed a portion of his hand on sirius’ jaw to maneuver his head towards him, the leaf was easier to grab this way. their eyes danced as they looked in each others eyes for mere milliseconds before theo said “here you go, pesky leaf„ in their shared language, and handed the leaf to him. when theo turned back to his notes, sirius was panicking. he didn’t know what he was feeling, but all of sudden he couldn’t stop thinking about just how much more french theo’s accent got when he spoke the language. and he could still feel the burning of theo’s fingers on his jaw despite how cold they were on his skin. but he pushed it all away, ignoring all of what it could mean for the foreseeable future. that is until he had to prove james wrong about when he fell in love.

sirius’ fourth year at hogwarts is when he accepts he has feelings for theo. after theodora became theodore, transitioning, and despite that sirius’ feelings for him don’t falter or budge, that’s when he knew he was screwed, that it wasn’t a fluke, it was serious. but he kept this to himself . . . or more so away from theo. james, peter and remus knew. so did marlene, and james told lily. when everyone first found out, mind you at different times, each of them had their ooouu’s and ahhhh’s and teasing moments but eventually sirius’ crush just became a norm, it was nothing special and just a part of daily life at hogwarts. theo didn’t necessarily feel the same way for sirius for a while, however. it can’t be said that theo didn’t have certain feelings for sirius. they were just no where near as strong, it was more a intense adoration than anything.

towards the end of their sixth year however is when things had changed. thursday night, or the night before friday, theo had dreamt of sirius. which isn’t saying a lot just from that one sentence, because all his friends have had made appearances in his dreams in the past 4 years. but none of those dreams were like this one. none of those dreams had heavy breathing, sweaty bodies pushed up against each other, whimpers and moans, and pleasure, so much pleasure. his body woke him up abruptly at about 3am that morning, hot flashing, sweating buckets, and yearning. he was too uncomfortable to go back to sleep so he took a shower then sat on his bed and bravely journaled the dream he had that night. after he finished he sat and waited for james to wake up so he could follow him to quidditch practice in hopes for an excuse to stay away from sirius this morning.

the rest of that friday was a near exact replica of the ones before except for two things: 1) everyone, fifth year and up, was eager for classes to end so gryffindor’s dorm party could start sooner rather than later and 2) theo couldn’t look sirius in the eye. he couldn’t even talk to sirius for too long because then he would have to stare at him head on, and he couldn’t stand it. but despite that, theo couldn’t help but stare at sirius when he wasn’t looking. feeling a fucked up mix of shame and lust. when the day ended and the party started theo kept away from his usual band of friends, instead finding his good friends, florence, sybil, xenophilius, pandora, alice, and frank. the random group chatted for a bit before splitting up with their own objectives in mind. theo left with xeno to go smoke, and not even two hits in, barely buzzed, he spilled to the blonde about his dream he had the night before. the man listened intently before he spotted something and then nodded in its direction as if to point. and when theo looked over to what held xeno’s attention he found sirius lounging on the couch staring directly at him. his gaze didn’t move, he didn’t go to look away, almost as if it were a test, a game of chicken after theo practically avoided looking at him all day. his blinks were slow, like a cats, and his stare seemed so serious as his hips shifted on the couch as he continued to slouch and stare, crossing him arms.

theo lifted the blunt he was holding in the air, like an invitation. and immediately sirius’ air of mystery lifted in that moment and he shrugged with a look on his face that said “eh why not,” a joke, ha-ha. as sirius made his way over, xenophilius left so sirius could take his place. theo took another hit as sirius sat down and blew the smoke in his face. sirius snatched the blunt from him and did it back, making them both laugh. the next ten minutes the two of them sat there in silence, it was nice. but then sirius spoke up, “you’ve been avoiding me. or ignoring me. one of the two, maybe even both.” in french . . . he sounded so pretty when he spoke in french. “i’m sorry.” is all theo could think to say. he reached for the blunt in sirius’ hand but he pulled it away and out of reach “i just want to know what’s going on, theo.” and in this moment theo hadn’t moved since he reached for a smoke, the drugs and sirius making his mind fail his body. he just stared, then looked at sirius’ lips and before he could think— “i want to kiss you.” sirius’ eyes widened, and so did theo’s at the sight and he immediately sat as far back from sirius as possible, unable to say anything else, his mind now failing his mouth.

sirius was shocked, he kind of never thought this would happen. and his mind was battling itself and wondering if it’s just the weed that made theo say that, and if it’s even worth going for only to be disappointed when the high wears off. and on the other side theo is mentally yelling “say something!” both to sirius and himself. hoping silence isn’t all there will be. he gives up on waiting though and goes to speak, english this time, “listen, sirius, i ju-” and then he’s cut off by sirius grabbing him by the scruff on the back of his head and kissing him. sirius then moved to hold the side of theo’s face with the blunt still pinched between his fingers. theo was shocked but gave in happily. the blunt was put out fast and the two spent the rest of the party making out in the corner while their friends feel like they just witnessed the second coming of christ as life long agnostics. pure shock but also just full on hyped.

the morning after theo had explained to sirius that he’s most definitely attracted to him, and while he’s not ready to be in a relationship, he wants to explore the less platonic side of things with him. however, during the middle of summer, right before their seventh and final year at hogwarts, they started officially dating. things were perfect. amazing. beautiful. they both felt so loved and theo had never been as in love with anyone as he had been with sirius. they went on dates, got each other gifts, spent too much time together, took each other’s virginities, said i love you. but during the winter break of their seventh year, sirius’ problems with his parents got revived and theo was brought into it by association. and while everything got solved, sirius, for the few weeks after being back from vacation, couldn’t stop kicking himself. couldn’t stop worrying about if it happened again in the future. then he spiraled thinking that he wasn’t good enough for theo, that the life he would be giving him wasn’t one he deserved. throughout this time he was isolating from theo, and everytime theo tried to talk to sirius about it, when he felt he knew what sirius was feeling and tried to reassure him, it went nowhere. sirius eventually decided he wasn’t what theo needed, and he broke it off with him.

theo was heartbroken. he cried for weeks, had to stay in lily, mary, and marlene’s dorms for a majority of the remainder of the school year. it started as a week and then more and more of theo’s stuff left his and the boys’ dorm. the boys were scolding sirius trying to convince him to take it back. telling him he was stupid for letting his thoughts get to this point. but their words and theo’s hurt only convinced him even more that breaking it off was what was necessary. that was until the girls got to him. they changed perspectives for him pretty fast, but he felt it was too late to fix things by the time he figured it out. eventually theo was required to move back in with the boys when mcgonagall found out theo swapped rooms. he wasn’t in their dorms often though. and theo rarely spoke or participated when hanging out with the boys while sirius was there. it was at this time that he grew closer to people outside of the group of marauders, needing an escape. not being able to look at out be near sirius.

the boys and theo, many years prior, had planned to travel the world for a several weeks after graduating. it was partly theo’s idea, but it was a labor of love from them all. after the breakup theo said he wasn’t going, that james could take lily in his place. but james had practically begged theo to join them when heard. it wasn’t until james got remus to beg too that he agreed to go. the many weeks in forced proximity with sirius made theo remember that he still loved him. so very much. and that hurt, but it also comforted him. he was able to build back a sort of rapport with his now ex boyfriend. by the start of their first semester at university everything was normal again within the marauders. to the point that when theo’s roommate request got screwed up and he was in a dorm with james and sirius rather than remus and peter, he didn’t try and fix it.

however for theo, getting over sirius meant that he doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually celibate. as soon as his freshman year started he was getting to know people, going on shitty first dates, and he told himself if the possibility of a hook up came along he’d take it (spoiler: he never did). he was still thinking of sirius, and that pain of remembering the good with him never went away. every shitty first date reminded him of what he had with him and that it was going to be hard to replace. and sirius wasn’t blind, he saw theo leave their dorm dressing nicer than usual. and he wasn’t deaf, he heard lily talk to james about theo’s dates. and he just wants to rip at his chest until his heart is out and he can’t feel it ache anymore.

sirius felt the worst though when theo no longer went on shitty first dates. he felt worse when theo’s swimming rival, evan rosier, started to anger him less, and they started hanging out more. and maybe sirius is insane but his body language around the blonde was changing too. sirius was going crazy. and after all this shit he now has to decide . . . is he going to watch all of this unfold and wallow in self pity, or is he going to try and get theo back. little does he know, despite everything, sirius won’t have to do much to win him back.

after all that you want to talk about school??

magical ecology. major & muggle ecology minor in addition to being the it boy of gryffindor’s varcity swim team . . .

major & minor requirements . . .

➜ MATH 11A ➜ MATH 11B ➜ STAT 1A

➜ CHEM 1A ➜ POTI 1A

➜ BIO 1A ➜ BIO 1B (basic biology)

➜ BIO 13 . . . (magical biology)

➜ ECOL 1A ➜ EVOL 1A

➜ BIO & ECOL electives of your choice (14 in total)

school structure. average four years for most degree paths, 3 trimesters each year, average of 2-4 classes per trimester (depending on classes with labs). students rarely have classes on fridays, there’s a M/W & T/Th schedule. two week long winter break, three month long summer break. no spring break. many professors! more than one professor per department or type of course (people go to college to work at this place). hospitality and living in small but main part of castle. classrooms for each department in separate larger wings of castle connected by bridges on several floors. there’s a wizard town nearby, with shops and foods as well as easy access to transportation to muggle and wizard cities. there’s a few buildings and fields that house places for sports. and clubs take place in empty rooms scattered across campus. all hogwarts + affiliated wizarding secondary schools students are guaranteed admission and food and lodging is free. magical adults who did not attend affiliated wizarding secondary schools or haven’t attended one in 10+ years must pay a small teeny weeny admissions fee.

varsity swim team @ hogwarts . . .

competitive endurance and sprint swimming focuses on speed and precise technique in straight line swimming

☰ competitions held indoors in The Enchanted Pool

– it is self-regulating : the water and pressure adjusts so all swimmers are at an equal playing field. so as not to stress certain swimmers in case of excelled strength of competitors, the coaches put swimmers into classes similar to “weight classes”

– it has a bubble finish : when a swimmer finishes and wins a race their lane will produce bubbles

– competition pools have underwater viewing windows

– varsity level competitions allow for pre-approved and limited spells to improve muscle recovery in between rounds

– race formats include : 50 meter dash (sprint) , 100 & 200 meter sprints (endurance) , medley sprint (4 strokes) , relay races (teams)

– hogwarts houses compete against each other but the university also plays against other universities with a rare team up of houses

›› WEST : wizarding engineering science & technology

a program for STEM (science, technology, engineering, & math major) students at hogwarts university. gives students access to stem field trip opportunities, internship opportunities, STEM specialized tutors, and any additional help students may need as STEM majors

dedicated to @g1rlsp1ckins bc she dt’d me in hers and these are literally our realities 🥹💕

[bookie-bookdust]

How to Defuse a Ravenclaw

Excited to finally share this monstrosity I've been working on: a smutty deranged porn with plot about Seb and MC. Part One is up.

Sebastian had been forced to devise a “defuse the Ravenclaw” protocol for when that damn witch lost her shit. Which was a lot, quite frankly. It’d been going as well as one could hope. Destruction was down, and she was able to talk in coherent sentences in under an hour that didn’t involve threatening to Avada him. So when against his better judgement he throws protocol out the window, he’s forced to face one of his own very private rules: Do not think about fucking the Ravenclaw. And fail. Miserably.

Rating: Explicit/ MDNI/ If you’re under 18 then you need to go ask your mom if you can read this. I don’t make the rules. Word Count: ~8k Full fic available at ao3 and Wattpad Preview below:

“Natty Onsai has caught the Golden Snitch! Gryffindor wins!” Everett Clopton’s voice roared through the downpour.

The crowd erupted, the stands shaking in shouts and stomping as if they’d collapse with another brutal gust of wind.

“Fuck,” Sebastian said.

“Fuck, indeed.” Ominis sighed. “On a scale of Mandrake to Chinese Fireball, how livid does she look?” He adjusted his stalwart grip on their umbrella. Sebastian didn’t have the heart to tell him it’d only covered a quarter of his side for most of the match.

“Neither. Hungarian Horntail,” Seb grumbled.

“Oh, we’re doomed, aren’t we?”

“Yep. I’ve got her.”  

Seb pushed his soaking hair from his eyes, squinting out at the pitch. While the other players circled, offering handshakes, he spotted a flash of Ravenclaw-blue already off her broom, storming for the tent.

He could kiss his evening in the Restricted Section goodbye. On Quidditch match nights, students were so rowdy, no one noticed when he slipped away. But on Ravenclaw match nights…

She’s going to break my arm again, isn’t she?

“You’ll be good to get back to the castle, yeah?”

“I’m not a lost puppy.” Ominis snapped.

“Of course you’re not.” Seb snorted. “I’ll see you in the dorms.” He patted his friend’s stiff shoulder and rushed out of the stands before the crowd really started to swarm.

The last time she’d lost a match, it’d gone as swimmingly as one could expect. She’d nearly burned down the Undercroft, though he couldn’t judge her for it as he’d lost count of how many times he’d done the same. He almost regretted teaching her so many fire spells fifth year. Ominis had been so livid, Seb was forced to devise a “defuse the Ravenclaw” protocol for when she lost her shit.

Which was a lot, quite frankly.

Failed exams. Snide comments from her many “sworn” foes. Losing Quidditch matches. The list went on.

The massive well of rage she harbored was almost endearing if she wasn’t so destructive, but even saying that would send her into a secondary spiral. Which there was a protocol for that too.

He and Ominis traded off each time one of these events occurred, and it’d been going as well as one could hope. Destruction was down, and she was able to talk in coherent sentences in under an hour that didn’t involve threatening to Avada him. Most of the time, anyway.

He slipped into the empty player tent, and the chill hit him instantly as he was finally free of the rain. His clothes clung to his goosebumps, and he rubbed his arms before remembering there was a wonderful thing called magic for this exact circumstance. He casted a drying charm, and his shoulders loosened.

“I’m looking for a very disgruntled Ravenclaw,” he called out. He was hoping to pluck her from the other players’ grip before she got herself banned.

“STUPID!”

A massive crash made him jump. He followed it, spotting a trail of muddied clothes and Quidditch equipment, stopping short at the showers.

“You good in there?”

The shower silenced. He shifted from foot-to-foot waiting for a sign.

Merlin, please don’t be naked.

He didn’t think he’d be strong enough to deal with her pissed off and naked. His fifth-year self would have fainted at that fantasy, but he’d smothered that idea the moment he’d sent his uncle to an early grave. Girls didn’t like boys who had a mental breakdown, raised the dead, and murdered their family—and still make jokes about it.

She came bursting through the steam, fully clothed, hair dripping wet and fanning around her like a harpy. He barely had time to react before she shoved him, sending him almost careening over a bench.

“Fucking Leander,” she screamed, grabbing her dirty clothes and tossing them in an enchanted hamper. “How many illegal plays before someone kicks him off the pitch? Did you see what he did?”

She tugged up her sweater, and Sebastian nearly popped a blood vessel before he spotted the already purpling bruise against her ribs.

“He rammed the edge of his broom straight into me.” She growled, literally, chucking her helmet into a cubby.

Rule One: Never agree with the Ravenclaw. Keep a neutral stance. Agreeing only encourages violence.

“Well, he is an insufferable dunce.” Sebastian agreed.

Woops.

“Where is that sniveling prick?” She stormed back toward the field.

“Noooo you’re not going back out there.” He caught her by the waist, spinning her around against him. It earned him a smack of wet hair against his cheek. “Come on. Time to go.”

“I just want to talk.” She shimmied in a very distracting way, her ass a bit too close to his cock. He had no choice but to tighten his grip. Truly what an inconvenience it was.

“Sure, you do.” He dragged her back the other way, toward the castle.

“Let go of me.” She bucked before all her weight dropped as she ragdolled.

They tumbled, and he caught them both, hauling her against his side.

“Honestly—” He lugged her with her feet dragging behind them. “My days of carting bodies is over, yet you keep reminding me with this stupid little deadweight trick you do.”

“Shut it.” She hissed.

She was just like hauling a haystack. A pissed off, living haystack currently trying to bite his arm. All that manual labor Solomon had forced him to do in Feldcroft had finally paid off. Who knew it’d be for livid little Ravenclaws?

“We’re going to go cool down,” he huffed.

“I already took a shower.” She kicked her legs, hooking one around his.

He tripped. “Not that.” He pinched her arm, and she yelped.

She wrenched harder, and he flung them outside into the rain.

It hit like slicing knives, and she shrieked, flailing her arms and legs. “Put me down.”

He halted, and the merciless wind shook a tree, a wave of icy water dumping over them.

Fucking hell. He grimaced.

“‘Put me down,’ what?”

She silenced for a moment before thrashing. “I’m not saying please.”

Seb rolled his eyes. In a swift movement, he flipped her, her head hanging inches from a bubbling puddle of mud.

She shrieked. “Fine. Please, please, please!”

“That’s better.” He righted her on her feet and gripped her shoulders. Merlin, she was looking more like a drenched cat by the second. Her blouse was…he tore his gaze away. She’d kill him if he caught her staring.

“We can either fight out here in the downpour and contract some plague, or we can cool down in the nice dry Undercroft. Your choice.”

She glared, bottom lip stuck out in a furious pout. “Fine.”

“Good girl.” He tapped her head, and he drudged ahead.

“Fucker.”

“I heard that.”

Read the entire part one monstrosity at ao3 and wattpad byeeeeeeee

[k-she-rambles]

since I'm on a temeraire kick...sortinghatchats thoughts!

Laurence: Gryffindor/Hufflepuff with an incredibly strong Bird Primary model. Behaves like a Burned Lion --possibly a deeply underdeveloped one?

Temeraire: Slytherin/Ravenclaw (with a Lion Primary model?)

Granby: Slytherin/Hufflepuff

Tharkay: Ravenclaw/Slytherin, mirroring Temeraire. (not totally certain about his primary)

Jane Roland: Double Snake (aviators tend towards snake it seems

Bonus Rankin my Beloathed: double badger

Laurence analysis under the cut:

• first instinct for Lawrence was Ravenclaw/Gryffindor. I thought 'that man will be himself if it kills him' (ran away twice to join the navy), a sure sign of a Lion Secondary, and he relies heavily on Structures of right and wrong, a Bird Primary trait.

But then I thought about it. Bird Primaries are relatively okay with what they believe in being disproved. They don't like it, but if they find they have to modify or replace some of the moral or philosophical structures they rely on, they're going to be glad to have learned better much sooner than another Primary would.

Lion Primaries though...they carry their beliefs deep in their hearts, and attacks on those beliefs feel, to them, like attacks on their hearts. When Laurence discovers that something he believes is morally wrong, the most positive reaction he ever has is grief. To truly excise something rotten that Laurence believes, you have to cut him open.

As for the good, he feels incredibly guilty for abandoning his Bird structures, but not as guilty as he does when he realizes he's not doing what he knows in his heart to be right.

With his secondary, it's not so much that Laurence will be himself if it kills him, but that he believes in Showing Up no matter what. He's going to be there doing something, no matter where "there" is--he holds himself and those around him to that standard. That's Badger Sec! As a result, Badger Secondaries tend to attract people resources --both allies and enemies. Badgers do this mostly without noticing. If that's not Laurence...

[keeperofmemory]

sorting the moving (무빙) parents into the sortinghatchats system - a quick character analysis

(if you’re new to this theory, your primary house is about why you do things, while your secondary house is about how you do things. you can take the quiz here — it’s fun!) 

[!!! spoilers below !!!]

jang juwon: [hufflepuff primary / gryffindor secondary + hufflepuff model]

“boss, was it about money in the end?”  “what else would it be? being a gangster is a job. (…) aren’t we all here to make money?" “no. i did it to protect our boys"

juwon, juwon, juwon, steel-skinned, soft-hearted monster of a man, who uses 존댓말 and doesn’t see jihee any differently because she is a person like any other, who’s in a gang for the sole purpose of protecting his boys. jang juwon is a hufflepuff primary because he treats people fairly and he belongs, he does not own. hufflepuff primaries value community, and bond to groups, rather than solely individuals, which you can see in his mentality regarding his gang. they’re his people, like he is theirs. they are together, and they are home, what do you mean you aren't here for nothing else but each other? 

of course, the ones he considers his end up betraying him, and he loses his way. (his hufflepuff primary burns, if you will. it is now safer to be alone.) where does he go when he has no home anymore? he does not know. but he finds jihee, and for the first time it feels like he knows where to go. (it does not solve everything, not really, but it is close enough.) 

in the end, he feels the most at home when he is part of team. and when the NIS is shut down and he is put inside walls in front of a screen that never listens, and a keyboard too small for his clumsy fingers, he feels lost again. this is not people, this is cold, lifeless walls, none of them he can run through. the team of superpowered people he later gets put in doesn’t feel exactly right, not really, but he is using what he is good at to help people, and that is the closest he can get to that feeling.

his secondary is a gryffindor; he runs into walls until the walls break, for it is the only way he’s ever known to get through things. (gryff secondaries meet their problems by charging at them, by responding directly to situations.) he has only ever chosen the easiest way, after all, and for a man whose body doesn’t break, simply running into things was the obvious easiest way. why change, why think, when he can simply push through and get through it anyway?

(he does model a hufflepuff secondary, once it's only him and his daughter. he does it for her, gives up everything to build her a better life. it's about doing the work, about showing up. it's odd jobs but honest jobs, moving constantly but still putting in the effort to show steadiness and consistency, to give his daughter a home despite the possibility of the NIS finding them at any moment.)

hwang jihee: [slytherin primary + gryffindor model / gryffindor secondary]

jihee is a healthy slytherin primary if i’ve ever seen one. she advocates for herself, (and she has to, doesn't she? or else nobody else will. not in the line of work she is,) puts herself and her dignity first despite it all. she does have a sense of justice (“that car hit and ran? did it hit you? do you want me to chase it?”) but it doesn’t eat her whole ("but if we find the culprit we split the money:)”) — it’s a nice gryff primary model she likes being in when her slytherin loyalties are not threatened.

juwon is the first person to see her fully as a person, and not a coffee lady. it softens her up immediately. — it doesn't make her fall for him, of course, nor does it get him into her circle. (if it did, she wouldn’t be a slytherin primary). she is a smart girl who advocates for herself, after all. but once he does, he does not leave. she will run into a mob of gangsters and disregard the police for him, will tell him to put himself first, even if it means having a more difficult life for both of them. because putting yourself, and the people that are yours, first, is what matters in the end.

she has a gryffindor secondary she shares with her husband. she can hold her tongue and be perfectly polite, but in the end her problems will be met head on. what other house would throw itself in 100+ mobsters without a plan? she said to hell with it, she’ll figure it out on the way.

gryff secondaries’ honesty is part of their personality and morality — jihee has seen the men play the sappy part only for their own selfish gain, and hates it deeply within her core. once she sees juwon isn’t pretending to be anyone but himself (he is also a gryffindor secondary after all) —  a simple man who reads books on stories where men are bloody but loved, who is willing to buy a ticket to simply share conversations with her  — she finally lets him in, slowly but surely. (her slytherin recognizes that he is also someone the world has shunned for who he is, for the labels they have stuck on him, and she embraces him warmly. he is hers now. and she is his.)

their kid is a gryff/gryff btw . she houseshares with her bf’s dad n i think that’s rlly cute . (her bf houseshares with her dad so . soulmates or whatever)

lee mihyun [gryffindor primary / ravenclaw secondary]

lee mihyun lee mihyun lee mihyun, who uses her powers like she uses her gun, carrying them around and doing the maintenance of each part every night. some would call it overdoing it, but she calls it a habit, calls it being prepared. (and amidst the very real danger that looms above her, can you blame her?) they're all tools she has on her, and years of training have taught her when to use which to get out of a situation with the upper hand. she's a ravenclaw secondary, the house that collects knowledge, tools or skills and then picks them up in times of need. she scouts for danger daily on social media, assesses the situation from a vantage point to collect intel; and yes, she's an agent, at this point it's probably second nature. but this is where she's most comfortable, pulling out from her pocket the information she gathered and the problem-solving systems she’s built whenever she gets tossed into danger.

lee mihyun’s specific brand of claw secondary has her being an adaptable problem solver — understandable, considering her tool set includes her heightened senses (six: her five senses and her common sense) and her gun (make that seven), as well as her general training as a black op agent. however, ravenclaw secondary tools are task-specific. sure, she can take out several enemy agents on her own with nothing but a gun and the strap of her handbag, but have her son bring a new pretty friend home and you’ll have her like a deer in headlights. (...the NIS did not prepare her for this)

her primary is a gryffindor, and it’s what makes her turn away from being an agent even after everything that’s on the line. it doesn’t matter, that she’s running away from the most powerful government agency, not if it’s the right thing to do. (it tires her, after losing her husband and having to do it all on her own. but she doesn't burn, not fully —she can't, not with her son still by her side.) now gryff primaries believe in trusting yourself and your gut, in doing so even if the whole world (or several hundred government agents) is against you. at the end of the day, the most important things is staying true to what’s inside of you. 

so in that fateful moment when the mission was clear, the orders indisputable, she turned away from her organization, her boss, her colleagues, to do what she felt was right. gun in her hand, she said to hell with consequences, i have to stay true to what i believe in — these people are enemies, but they are people and what we’re doing right now is wrong. (from afar, her future husband will see her act upon everything he had been feeling until then, will see a braver reflection of his own gryff primary, and he will fall in love.) 

kim dooshik [gryffindor primary/gryffindor secondary]

kim dooshik is a bit harder to sort; we really don’t see him as much as we could have. he has a gryffindor primary he shares with his wife; their whole story is about finding someone who believes in the same thing they do, stuck in an organization that tells them otherwise. he can look hufflepuff, in the way he values people and fairness — but the core of gryff primaries is about trusting your beliefs and doing your best to live by them. it’s about the bravery to pursue them, even if it leads him to a life of being chased, and captured, and tortured (…literally). 

he has a gryffindor secondary to go with it. that time he tried to diffuse the bomb on a civilian plane under no orders but his own? no orders, no plans, just him flying and trying to save people? very gryff/gryff of him. he also shares a lion secondary with his partner and they play off each other very well. (dooshik casually just letting juwon fall several hundred miles from the sky into where the enemies are and letting him figure it out… #justgryffsecondarybrosthingz)

sure, sure, one could argue for a ravenclaw secondary — but i think that’s just him being an agent. of course he would train and strategize. of course he would have backup plans. but at the end of the day, the method he falls back on is his charging, making it up as he goes. most of all, it’s his blunt honesty, his genuineness that we see shine in his actions. (even in the way he pursues mihyun — not a single disingenuous bone in his body) 

at the end of the day, he’ll rush into a problem when he believes it is right, no matter the consequences. he’ll fly into the enemy’s hands to protect his family, spend years imprisoned in a cave not faltering in his beliefs. a gryff/gryff through and through. 

[to-rise-above-monsters]

!!!!

Thank you so much for your response!! This is so thorough and great!

I agree with all your points and I love everything you said. You clearly know your stuff and I appreciate it sm.

(I was into shc but I never talked to it to others so I don’t think I ever got the deep understanding you do!)

He was always such a lion primary to me and I always loved that about him. And the way everything fell apart and everything he thought was right being slowly picked apart throughout the series was just so well written for me.

And you’ve convinced me! I think I agree with you. The snake traits he might exhibit are kinda from his lion view of the world being shattered. But for SURE he is a lion secondary and that was never a doubt in my mind. I would be so interested if you consider Eren to be a potentially burned/stripped lion!

And I kind of agree with you in terms of his sorting in actual Hogwarts might be up for debate. I feel like it would be a situation where there would be a deep part of Eren that the sorting hat would detect that could potentially see where he’ll end up and just put him in the ‘evil house’ :eye roll: but I’ve always found villainous/antagonist Gryffindors, or really any house that isn’t Slytherin.

I think this discussion does become how people view his intentions and in all honesty, I was expecting more lion sortings from people! He’s such an interesting character and his insistence of doing what he thinks is right, even though everything and everyone in his life tells him it’s wrong, is so fascinating. I love his final dialogue with Armin and his talk with Ramzi. He regrets what he does and what he did but in his mind he had to do it. And in the end, he realized he did it for himself. And he wanted to destroy everything and he didn’t know why, but he did. (which again, is so lion. not knowing why but your gut tells you so you follow it)

(im probably gonna do another poll for other characters and im SO interested in how you think!!)

i’m really interested in y’all’s takes (and if this is popular /yall are are interested i might make polls for more characters)

below is propaganda for what i think/what im tied between (very long)

^this is mainly the inspo for everything i wrote

so a decade ago when I made my original Hogwarts au i felt so sure of my placements. but then as the characters became so complex and more was revealed, it’s obviously more nuanced.

lion was clearly my choice at the beginning. he’s an impulsive, reckless, strong willed, bold, determined, passionate and selfless person. because he was fighting for a cause we agreed with, he was heroic. he exemplified the good parts of gryffindor; following his morals and what he believed was right and driven towards his goals for freedom. he had such intense personal justice and morality to the point that he believed that those that took freedom from others deserved to died.

but without a doubt, that was twisted when we realized the traits he had were not necessarily for humanity but for his own selfish desires. which showed his true snake nature. he only cared to protect himself and his loved ones. he didn’t care about anything or anyone else in the end, and maybe he never did. all he cared about was his own personal freedom being taken from him and he would do anything to get it and punish those that stole it from him.

he didn’t know why but he wanted to destroy everything. is that more lion or snake? he’s such a simple minded character. sees everything in such black and white, me vs them, extreme to extreme, killing himself for humanity or genociding the world. and he was prepared to and did do extremely unethical and manipulative things to get what he wanted. he cares about his people and will destroy everyone else. that’s so key to being a snake. but being single-minded is also like key lion trait.

i’ve noticed that the line between lion and snake is very thin. and so is badger and snake surprisingly.

-

also to those who are curious how he might fit into the other houses:

with badger, his loyalty was and is a key component of his character. he wanted freedom, he didn’t want to die, but he could not kill his friends. he could not escape his main ties to his friends. a badger’s entire basis is about care for all people, however a badger can decide who counts as a ‘person’. he has no problem killing titans at the beginning but then decides to spare the one on the floor. he dehumanizes those who take freedom from others and makes it in his head that they don’t count as ‘people’. which culminates in him wiping out everyone who is not ‘people’ to him.

but i think this exemplifies snake traits more

with bird, it’s hard to explain bc im seeing it in the sorting hat chats pov (the link i put above) but they say that bird’s main driving force is systems and the system they have crafted must be followed. most birds change the system and make it more complex as the learn more. but stagnant birds are those that refuse to change. when his need for freedom conflicts with his knowledge that everything is predetermined and he has no real choice, his system breaks and he becomes depressed and is consigned to suicide.

tho …i don’t know. he’s like the least bird person ever. he is impulsive and reckless. he only starts to be calculating in the end of his life in an extremely snake way. he doesn’t systemize his morals or views of the world or is in pursuit for knowledge and truth. rather he is very dead set on one goal and commits even when he knows it’s wrong (which a bird would never think) also bro is not wise or creative or any other characteristics—

-

So now with all the propaganda out of the way, I’d love for you to write your explanations for your choice! (long or short)

also i wanna do a poll for armin, mikasa reiner and jean bc those are alsao characters who i feel like have such nuances to them that id love to hear input:))

[painted-crow]

How does someone unburn? At first I thought I was a double Hufflepuff but after looking back at how I acted before I was harshly bullied in high school, I've figured out I'm a badly burned double Gryffindor with a Hufflepuff model and a really unhealthy Ravenclaw model that I use to cope with my ADHD. Do I just need to work on my self-confidence somehow?

I'll give some general advice, then try to take a shot at helping your specific situation. I'm not, like, an expert at this though, so I'm relying on my own and my friends' experiences to inform this.

The things I'm about to describe are really difficult and my description of them is going to sound pat and simplistic. Sorry about that. I'm not trying to minimize the struggle that's involved here, it's just that giving general advice for something this deeply personal is always going to sound kind of trite.

1. Get out of toxic situations and relationships, as much as possible.

Of course this is easier said than done, but it's really really important. If you can't leave the situation or relationship entirely, which would be best, try to work on setting healthy boundaries--as much as is safe for your particular situation. Don't put yourself in danger if you're reliant on someone abusive.

Related: try your best to replace these relationships with ones involving people who aren't shitty. Isolation is generally not good, and you want to avoid slipping back into shitty relationships out of loneliness.

I'm not talking specifically about romantic relationships, btw, just the people you surround yourself with in general.

2. Be patient with yourself.

Give yourself space to be wrong and suck at things. That's called recovery, and the less you can beat yourself up about needing to take time and space to recover, the easier it'll be. Trust that the people who love you don't consider you a burden.

3. Talk things out with someone non-judgmental.

Using your primary as it un-burns can feel really weird. You might feel guilty or uncertain. Sometimes, talking to someone else just to check that the decision you feel is right (but are conflicted about) isn't totally off the deep end can be really helpful. Choose the person wisely, though.

4. Do things that make you feel like yourself.

Don't apologize for taking the "easy" or "lazy" or "impractical" way to solve a problem, especially a low-stakes one. In context of an unburning secondary, that's probably your real secondary you're feeling weird about using.

Maybe take up a hobby that lets you play with your unburning secondary in a low-stakes situation. If you use Lion secondary to experiment in the kitchen, the worst thing that can happen is you ruin a little food and feed the neighborhood raccoon--it's not the end of the world and you can do better next time :)

Now, for your specifics...

If you're out of high school--hooray! You're out of the toxic environment. The thing you need to be careful about is making sure you don't subconsciously seek out similar environments in work or college because they feel familiar.

Also try to challenge the assumption that those around you are just the same as the bullies you left behind--it's very easy to still feel defensive after people were shitholes to you for that long. (I got bullied too.)

If you're not out of high school yet, try to set boundaries for yourself about what deserves your emotional and physical energy. If the only things asking for your attention are destructive, find something that isn't. I picked up writing fantasy novels, which I recommend because you're able to craft your own self-indulgent escapism and it's free and you don't even have to show it to anybody.

If you're in university in the US (and probably a bunch of other places, but I don’t know specifics about them) then you almost certainly have access to free therapy/counseling through your university. Take advantage of that. Don't feel bad about dumping your therapist if you can tell the relationship isn't working, either--I've had a couple of laughably bad therapists, but I've also seen some pretty good ones. And no, your experience isn't "too insignificant" or whatever to see a therapist--if you want to or feel like it could help, you should.

Since you bring up unhealthy model(s), I wonder if I should mention the 4F responses as something to be aware of. We can become over-reliant on one of the four (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) after long-term shitty situations. Unhealthy Hufflepuffs and fawn responders have some overlap. Same with unhealthy Ravenclaw secondaries and flight responders. This may or may not apply to you specifically but it's worth investigating.

Here's a very well-written, accessible explanation of the 4F responses, and here's the detail-rich academic version.

Anyway, back to your Houses. The more you can use your unburning Houses in light, low-stakes situations where failure isn't costly, the better. Play with them as much as you can, basically. Try to not get too upset when they fail; you're relearning them and they'll get better. If you think you're shitty at using them, try to be okay with that and be patient. Try not to dismiss them as not valuable or practical; lots of people use the different Houses to great effect.

Uhhhh so this is just a brain dump of different advice, and I have no idea if any of this is helpful. Anyone else want to weigh in?

[ethereal-skye]

Burned Gryffindor Primary // Ravenclaw Model Slytherin Secondary // Hufflepuff Model as according to @sortinghatchats' system.

[wiltedthrone]

okay wHEW CHILE i think i’ve finally FINALLY  got it. here’s the tldr version and then under the cut is more indepth with certain parts that stood out to me

* primary house exposes why your muse does certain things. reasons, motivations and drive. a * secondary house defines how your muse does things. their methods, actions and behaviors.  * model house defines morals your muse admires and tries to abide by, but wouldn’t mind dropping for the sake of other priorities.

We think you’re a Slytherin Primary and a Slytherin Secondary.

Slytherin Primaries prioritize their own selves and loved ones first. Slytherins don’t feel guilty or selfish about this– they feel righteous and moral. The most important thing is to look after your own. Abandoning or hurting one of your own is the worst thing you can do.

Slytherin Secondaries adapt. They’re flexible and multi-faceted. It doesn’t feel disingenuous to them to act differently in different spaces.

You also may have a Hufflepuff Primary Model.

Hufflepuff House is the house of fairness and loyalty, and Hufflepuffs use those values to help them determine what the right thing to do is. If you model Hufflepuff Primary, you also value these things and like to live by them. You probably have a community, culture, or group that’s really important to you– but you wouldn’t feel guilty for abandoning your community and its values in the service of other, higher priorities (whether that’s sticking by your chosen family, following what your logic tells you, or crusading after a cause that calls to you). But you’d like to value the communal loyalty and even-handness of a Hufflepuff. It’s good, solid, and satisfying. It would be nice if you could stick with people and help those in need– but you have other, more important things to do sometimes, and you don’t feel bad about that.

SLYTHERIN PRIMARY

Slytherin Primaries are fiercely loyal to the people they care for most. Slytherin is the place where “you’ll make your real friends”– they prioritize individual loyalties and find their moral core in protecting and caring for the people they are closest to.

Slytherin’s reputation for ambition comes from the visibility of this promotion of the self and their important people– ambition is something you can find in all four Houses; Slytherin’s is just the one that looks most obviously selfish.

Because their morality system of “me and mine first” is fairly narrow in scope, Slytherins often construct an additional morality system (a “model”) to deal with situations that are not addressed by their personal loyalty system.

While Slytherin has a reputation for being insular and amoral, a Slytherin’s loyalty does not have to be limited to a small group of loved ones. Some Slytherins have “inner circles” so large they look like Hufflepuffs. But it's a big possessive type of love.

To quote Terry Pratchett’s Tiffany Aching: “Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!”

A Slytherin can also have no one in their inner circle except for themself. But the idea of prioritizing your self (and, if you have them, your people) is a moral good in its own right-- it’s healthy, honest, and grounded. You can do lots of other things with your life-- be generous, ambitious, contrary, cruel, kind-- but you don’t feel bad about stepping back and taking care of you and yours. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, there’s something really right about that.

HUFFLEPUFF PRIMARY MODEL

It would be nice if you could stick with people and help those in need-- but you have other, more important things to do sometimes, and you don't feel bad about that.

Maybe you picked up this model because you like it, or someone taught it to you as a child. Maybe you picked it up because the people you love really value it, and this is one of the ways you show your love and devotion. Maybe it just makes sense, and you find it satisfying to prioritize this morality system when you can.

But dropping these values would make you feel practical and grounded, maybe a little melancholy or disappointed-- it wouldn't make you feel like you were a bad person.

SLYTHERIN SECONDARY

A Slytherin Secondary’s defining constant is to change. They adapt to the situation, going with the flow and making use of advantages as they come. They are good at spotting unexpected opportunities and rapidly shifting their aim and approach in order to snatch up the possibilities in front of them. Sometimes this leads them to appear lucky where they are actually better described as opportunistic.

This maneuverability adds to the Slytherin reputation for manipulation, cunning, and deceit– but from the Slytherin’s perspective, those opportunities were there for other people to see, too, and taking advantage of them is neither dishonest nor tricky, but resourceful.

It doesn’t feel deceitful to a Slytherin to change to fit the needs of their environment– to be kind with this person, forceful with this one, erudite to the next. This adaptability can be applied to manipulation, influence, and power, but a Slytherin secondary can just as easily focus their efforts on maintaining friendships, making people happy, encouraging positive social change, or streamlining communication.

Most of the time, most Slytherin Secondaries live comfortably in a system of shifting facades and able code-switching, singing a different tune to every situation. But when they are feeling safe, in the company of trusted people, or when they are feeling particularly apathetic and done with the world, Slytherin Secondaries often let all those shifting layers drop— this is the neutral state. The neutral state is easy to mistake for a Gryffindor Secondary because there is a similar sharp-edged, unreserved honesty to it. But the motivation for this honesty is coming from different places.

The neutral state is blunt and often rough, unphased by stepping on people’s toes. For some Slytherin Secondaries, it’s a luxury not to care about stepping on toes— their best tools for their own comfort, success, and joy may involve paying close attention to their circumstances and reacting accordingly in order to manipulate the spaces they inhabit. Other Slytherin Secondaries, less threatened or less protective of themselves, might spend lots of time in their neutral state. But they indulge in that bluntness for pleasure, efficacy, or ease-- being less honest and forthright would feel just as ethical, whereas to a Gryffindor "lying" is inherently negative.

While Slytherins are stereotyped as “slimy” or disingenuous, that’s hardly fair. Slytherins are practical and flexible, seeing situations honestly and not imposing their own ideas and behaviors on the external world. They become what they need to be to achieve their goals, because why and what you’re doing are more important than how. How you act doesn’t determine who you are-- only you can do that.

It’s important to note, that that there is a consistent core to a Slytherin secondary. They are not less reliable or more flighty– they are more adaptable, and that has no impact on the integrity of their core or the relationships they form. Long term friends or allies of a Slytherin secondary are likely to know and trust the underlying consistency of the Slytherin secondary, and to rely on their flexibility and support.

[lamentedhope-a]

SORTING HAT CHAT QUIZ RESULTS:

PRIMARY:  BURNED GRYFFINDOR

A burned Gryffindor still thinks it’s important to try to do the right thing. They just have some doubts, insecurities, or cynicism around the idea that anyone can know what “right” is. The world would be easier if they could trust their gut, but they know they can’t. They still strive to do what they can, and often build a constructed morality system (or adopt an external legal, philosophical, or religious code) in order to live as well as possible. But unlike a Ravenclaw Primary, who would be satisfied and righteous using this external system, a burned Gryffindor will always be disappointed and even guilty using this out-sourced moral system.

SECONDARY: GRYFFINDOR

Gryffindor Secondaries are more likely to change their volume than their content. They can hold their tongue. They can be polite, patient, proper people—but when the going gets rough or the rough get going you can find a Gryffindor Secondary by the way their problems are met head on rather than subverted, negotiated, or cajoled. They have an efficiency so direct it can be almost combative.

Gryffindor secondaries can be subtle, skilled, and even quiet, but they will cut to the core of things unflinchingly. They will sacrifice social harmony, reputation, and peace before they sacrifice their own outward integrity.

Gryffindor secondaries can be an interesting mix of stand-up integrity and mischievous rule-breaking and chaos. These potentially conflicting traits fall to this— Gryffindor Secondaries are self-defined. Their integrity and their honesty is a deal with themselves, not others.

It can be easy to overlook the efficacy of the Gryffindor secondary when distracted by their tactics. Friends (and opponents) will forget that simplicity and directness of method says nothing about the level of complexity and intelligence in their motivations. Honesty means neither shallowness nor immaturity. The drive and ability to cut to the heart of matters which backs up a Gryffindor’s directness makes them powerful in conflict and refreshing in friendship.

[quillsandink]

took the sortinghatchats sorting quiz & got hufflepuff primary / burned hufflepuff secondary...and Wow i’m just rly a Puff huh

[reave-n-puff]

Unknown: *asks a lot of questions*

Ravenclaw: *responds correctly without any hesitation*

Gryffindor: *responds with confidence, but she tries to argue with Ravenclaw even if she's wrong*

Ravenclaw: they told us that before.

Gryffindor: but that...

Unknown [looking at Ravenclaw]: five points for Gryffindor.

Ravenclaw [wearing Ravenclaw hoodie]: actually, I am Ravenclaw.

Unknown:

Unknown: oh.

Ravenclaw [in her head]: how exactly did you assume that I am a Griffie?

[evolretla]

Well.... this was extremely spot on. Haven’t really felt like a Hufflepuff in a while, but the description of a Burned Hufflepuff fixed that.

not my fault pottermore’s a bitch idiot coward this one is my new best friend

[painted-crow]

Any suggestions for trying to cook Gryffindor style? I realized I've been modeling my mom's Bookkeeper Puff secondary really hard over my burned Gryff for years and I don't even know how to improvise anymore. I'm really scared of failing. Cooking seems like a low stakes place to play around. I'm really good at cooking so how badly can I screw up, right?

Decide what you wanna make, and then just go for it?

If you have trouble with the vagueness of that direction because improvising is hard, maybe meet it halfway by watching a YouTube video or two, or picking a simple recipe.

Orrrr!

I suggest making bread! The ingredients are cheap and easy to get, and it's not as picky as people make it sound. I could link you a recipe, but that would defeat the purpose, so instead I'll give you some hints like you're on one of those "you don't get a real recipe" cooking shows:

Bread, at its most basic, is just flour, water, yeast, and salt. You don't actually need anything else! You can stir it up in a big bowl with your hands and bake it off in lumps on a cookie tray.

Check that your yeast is alive by stirring in a few tablespoons of water and a pinch of sugar. It should foam up. If you just bought your yeast it's probably fine, but it's good to check.

You'll want about a tablespoon of yeast per pound of flour, maybe a bit less.

Your dough should be stretchy and not *too* sticky or goopy--it should come away from the sides of the bowl pretty easily and be shapeable.

You can let the dough rise in the fridge, covered, and then it's less picky about when you bake it ^^

I suggest 400F for your oven temperature, but I've baked it off anywhere from 350-450F. Keep an eye on it around the half hour mark, sooner if you use a higher temp.

You can try eyeballing when it's done from the crust, you can try thumping the bottom to find out if it sounds hollow, or you can use a thermometer and pull it when its internal temp is around 180-190F ish.

Don't eat undercooked bread. If you slice into it and find it's gooey in the middle still, you can try throwing it back in the oven and see what happens, or slice it up and throw all the slices in a toaster, or whatever you wanna do--just make sure it's cooked through. Food safety!

Now, here's the real improvvy bit: you can mess with this in all kinds of different ways.

You can dig a handful of shredded cheese out of your fridge and knead it into a handful of dough, and bake that

You can make it into rolls and stuff them with lunch meat or ground hamburger or sauteed veggies

You can sprinkle herbs and stuff on top

You can try to turn them into cinnamon bread/cinnamon rolls/cinnamon bread rolls

What happens if you add butter? Oatmeal? Instant mashed potato flakes?

Idk, dig stuff out of your fridge and try something weird lol

What's the worst that can happen?

You make a mess, set off your smoke alarm, and waste $2 in ingredients? You'll live.

Your mental image of your mom that lives in the back of your head starts to yell at you? It's a good opportunity to practice telling her to buzz off.

This should be a solid enough starting point, then you can just try things and... roll with it. (That pun wasn't intended when I started that sentence, but it sure is now.)

[ten-of-imps]

How do people sort themselves in sorting hat chats system? I know I know they have a test, the fact is I don't think I belong anywhere in it. It's so complicated. I thought I was a slytherin primary. Then a burned puff or gryff. Just now I thought maybe I'm a ravenclaw primary who decided there's no real truth there and I'm not smart enough and the world is too chaotic so just do whatever and let's just take gryffs and slytherins models on top of that.

.... I was doubting that before a couple of minutes but now I think maybe that could work. When I was little I did thought there are rules, principles in how we should act and treat eatch other and how we could live the best way I guess. Then I saw that the wolr doesn't care about these things. But then, I should let go of my heroic principles and add it the most logical thing - that the world is based on money, that it has the most value and everything is measured by that. But I can't. It sound s disgusting and cruel and "but how about the person, how about being you and a human being?" I can't let go of these, althou it's not logical to hold on to that. It wasn't logical to say I won't lie because I don't like to lie and because I would feel guilty if I'd take away information from someone and they'd make a decision without knowing everything. No, I can't do that. You have to know everything. I will lie mostly when it will save my own butt. That I can do, but of course its fuelled by fear, so....

I have my moments where I think – "oh, so that's how the world works", and it both liberates me and chains me to my experiences.

I thought I was burned puff, but something was just bothering me. Deep down I really don't know how to bond with a community. To me, it feels like I have to bond with each and everyone of them. I just.... I can't. I don't have that much energy and love for everyone. And I don't think I dehumanize. So that is probably out for a couple of months.

Not that I'm really good at bonding with a person. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bull at china shop. But I think that's because of my kind of useless rash gryff secondary. This is something I won't doubt for a week. It's rash. I don't want to say things that aren't mine, I don't want to be someone else. I react to situations, my first instinct would be to jump in, be confrontational, but then I have to remind myself how useless and stupid that would be,so just shut up. I take a great joy and pride in every other model I've built to help that little peace of me keep afloat, but if it would be my choice, and if it would be the best choice, I'd be me, thank you very much.

[viridianllamasinthesilentspace]

ARE YOU READY FOR A “HAMILTON” SORTING?

Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton serve as both foils and mirrors to each other throughout the play, and this holds true in their Sortings as well. They come from different places in terms of class and privilege, but their childhoods are both marked with the traumatic and tragic loss of their parents. They respond differently to this grief, however. Hamilton’s loss and uncertainty harm his Primary (his WHY) while Burr’s harm his Secondary (his HOW).

Hamilton is a Slytherin Primary, who prioritizes himself, his ambitions, and (eventually) the people he loves above all, and a Gryffindor Secondary, who achieves things with a forthrightness and loudness that both makes him enemies and encourages fellow believers to flock in his wake. Just look at Hurricane. Anyone who sees a brimming political sex scandal and says, “You know what I should do? TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING!” —Well, they’re probably a Gryffindor Secondary.

Hamilton takes his damage to his Slytherin Primary—he “petrifies”. He cuts himself off to connection. He doesn’t do it particularly well or particularly thoroughly—Laurens and Washington slip in, and Phillip is loved fully and fearlessly by his father—but Hamilton’s general response to trauma is to step back. When Laurens dies, he throws himself into his work. An exception comes when Phillip dies, because Hamilton has grown enough and learned enough by then that he manages to turn to Eliza instead of disappearing inside himself completely.

While Hamilton does bond to his revolutionary drinking buddy trio of Mulligan, Laurens, and Lafayette, that bond is made with his Gryffindor Secondary, initially, not his still rather-charred Slytherin Primary. He likes their drive and their cause; he likes their bravery, and he wants to fight alongside them. Young Alexander—abandoned, orphaned, his town destroyed, and yet smarter than almost everyone he’s ever met—is living almost fully in his Gryffindor Secondary alone, at this point. He defines himself by the way he stands on tables, tears apart British loyalists in the street, scoffs at Burr’s caution, and how he will not throw away his shot.

There is often an inherent selfishness in how Hamilton interacts with the war, with love, and with his work. This is about glory; this is about legacy. Don’t be surprised when your history books mention me. He interacts with the world most fully with his Gryffindor Secondary’s brash volume, certainty, and leadership; but he is still driven by the death-obsessed ambition of his Primary, of an orphan kid who never expected to live past twenty.

Burr, however— Well, he can keep all of Georgia. Theodosia, she’s mine. Burr, like Hamilton, is a Slytherin Primary, but losing his family has not injured his belief in or comfort with those he loves, like the Theodosias, or dampened his desire for bonding with them. He still puts his Theodosias, and his own success, above all else. His methods, though, are nearly absent: He is waiting for it.

Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and it takes, and it takes. And we keep loving anyway. Burr comprehends, deeply, the chaotic, unfair, and destructive nature of life, love, and death. But unlike Hamilton, it doesn’t make him afraid of bonding, loving, or committing. It makes Burr afraid of acting.

While Hamilton has “burned” his Primary, Burr has burnt his Secondary. Where Hamilton’s early losses have made him wary of investing in people with his Slytherin Primary, Burr’s early losses made him wary of acting, of claiming any Secondary at all. When Hamilton thrives and succeeds on the certainty and brashness of his Gryffindor Secondary, Burr, confused and jealous, watches Alexander rise and tells himself that he is content to “wait for it”. 

Burr recommends caution, keeping your cards close to your chest; he is afraid to invest in action in the same way Alexander takes so long to truly invest in Eliza. Hamilton chooses to live nearly fully in just the part of himself that acts, whereas Burr decides, instead, to divorce from him that part of himself. This inherent mismatch between them is one of the places that leads to their lifelong nonunderstanding of each other and their eventual deadly conflict.

Laurens, lovely Gryff/Gryff, is the one who begins the “rise up” part of My Shot. Laurens and Lafayette are here for the fight, for the cause; and the way they talk about the war shows that. Tell your brother that he’s gotta rise up.

Mulligan and Hamilton are just as invested in the fight—both willing to fight and die for a cause technically outside themselves—but for different reasons. We sort Mulligan as a Slytherin Primary as well: I’m the joining the rebellion ’cause I know it’s my chance to socially advance instead of sewing some pants. 

Hamilton’s repeated crowd-raiser is Hey, yo, I’m just like my country—I’m young, scrappy, and hungry. He invests in the fight by making it about himself; about the ways his country is him; about what this fight will do for him. He makes it personal. Hamilton still genuinely cares about the fight. He fights tooth and nail for Washington, for the fledgling America, for manumission, for his bank and the foundations of this new nation. But Slytherins can do that! Having your first priorities be yourself and those you love doesn’t keep you from caring, deeply and broadly, about right and wrong, about freedom, financial systems, and victory.

Hamilton cares about the new nation he helped found because it is his: because it is where he lives; because it gave him a chance; because it is what he will leave to his children. He and Burr, as Slytherin Primaries both particularly devoted to their children, touch on this in Dear Theodosia: You will come of age with our young nation. We’ll bleed and fight for you. We’ll make it right for you. If we lay a strong enough foundation, we’ll pass it on to you.

Laurens, through the abolitionist fervor and Gryffindor Secondaries they share, and Washington, in his position of commander and mentor, are the first to start to slip through the cracks in Alexander’s traumatized Slytherin Primary. Both of them sneak in via his Gryffindor’s drive and fight—every day is a test of our camaraderie and bravery, as Laurens tells us.

Eliza knows where she stands here, even if she wishes for more. When she wants Alexander to come home, she doesn’t write to him; she writes to General Washington. I knew you’d fight until the war was won. With a childhood of hardship and losses that makes him guarded and self-focused, Hamilton is still prioritizing his own fight and his own glory over most other things.

It is Phillip who breaks through this fully. In Yorktown, Alexander begins his repeated theme of ‘I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory’—only to have that interrupted by a callback to Eliza’s That Would Be Enough: Then I remember my Eliza’s expecting me. Not only that, my Eliza’s expecting! We gotta go, gotta get the job done; gotta start a new nation; gotta meet my son! His thirst for glory and death is finally drowned out (if somewhat momentarily) by the promise of his son’s life. It is Phillip, too, who is what can pull him out of his work (again, only momentarily) in Take a Break. It is Phillip’s little rap which fully brings Alexander into delighted life here: Hey, our kid is pretty great. Angelica and Eliza cannot convince him to come upstate; Eliza can barely convince him to come to dinner on time, but it is undeniable that this man loves his son. And interestingly, it is Phillip’s death which drives Alexander to finally see, and love, and turn to Eliza fully for the very first time in It’s Quiet Uptown.

Eliza, too, is a Slytherin Primary. She is every bit as ambitious and driven as the louder Slytherin souls of Alexander, Burr, and Angelica. But she wants Alexander (the boy is mine!), and her ambitions are quiet, domestic, and certain: We don’t need a legacy. We don’t need money. If I could grant you peace of mind, if you could let me inside your heart…that would be enough.

Eliza is a Foundational Secondary in a play whose plot often turns on the decisions of Improvisational Secondaries (brave Gryffindor, flexible Slytherin). “Foundational” Secondaries are the builders, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, who earn things by working slowly and smartly and capably, and not giving up. Hufflepuffs build things out of work ethic, reputation, kindnesses, or reliability. There are many flavors of Puff Secondary, but the word “dependable” often lurks at the bottom of them. —“Stubborn”, too.

(Ravenclaw [Secondaries], in contrast, are collectors, learners, hoarders; they collect skills, knowledge, and even power, building systems or resources they can use, whereas Hufflepuff Secondaries tend to build systems or resources they can rely on.)

Eliza is reliable, a Hufflepuff Secondary and a particularly subtle one. The gifts she wants to give Hamilton are peace of mind and to be a part of his narrative. She spends her fifty years after his death building his legacy with a capable, consistent, and loving hand. She speaks to every soldier who fought with him; tries to make sense of all his thousands of pages of writing: When my time is up, have I done enough?

Eliza’s sister, Angelica, is one of the most beautiful Slytherin Primaries we’ve seen in years. She loves Eliza more than anything in this life and she will choose her sister’s happiness over her own, every time. (Including her romantic interest, which is rare and beautiful.) Angelica knows what she wants, goes after what she wants (The Schuyler Sisters), but at the end of the day, she will always put her loved ones first.

Alexander has not been prioritizing Eliza, despite his sweet promises in Helpless. There’s argument that those were not deeply meant; Hamilton has long been prioritizing himself, his legacy, and his fight above his wife. Angelica’s confrontation with Alexander after The Reynolds Pamphlet, especially if you include the cut material from the song Congratulations, is one of two Slytherin Primaries who love the same woman—and one who is disgusted with the poor way the other has been living up to that love. 

In Congratulations, Angelica lays Alexander out. She recognizes the Slytherin in Alexander, and Eliza is so deeply enmeshed in Angelica’s priorities that she demands Alexander live up to that, too. Eliza is the best thing in our lives, so never lose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with the best wife!  

One of Eliza’s recurring lines is a wish that Hamilton would let her into his heart. He hasn’t, and he doesn’t fully until It’s Quiet Uptown. (When we hit Best of Wives and Best of Women, she’s fully in [his heart], and his is the warm love of a Slytherin Primary, and yes, everyone please cry now.)

Angelica is a Slytherin Secondary as well as a Slytherin Primary: I romanticize what might have been if I hadn’t sized him up so quickly. Angelica laments here that she sized up Hamilton and the situation with Eliza too quickly; her swift reading and analysis of the scene is the reactive assessment of a Slytherin Secondary. Slytherin is the cunning House: the adapter, the slitherer, and the improviser. This can give you characters who run on slime and ooze or ones like caustic, casual, and capable Jefferson; but also adaptive, quick, and clever ones, like Angelica, who makes calls before she even realizes what she’s realized. 

Angelica’s intentions to achieve political change by influencing the influential are clear from her first song: And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I’mma compel him to include women in the sequel. This approach demonstrates both her awareness of her status as a woman in this society (I’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich; my father has no sons, so I’m the one who has to social climb, for one), and her intent to be opportunistic and effective with the power that she does hold.

Our other major Slytherin Secondary in the show is Daveed Diggs’s masterful Thomas Jefferson, who jazzes onto the stage in the second act. Got my first cabinet meeting today, guess I better think of something to say. Jefferson is sharp and clever, an improviser at heart, which is a handy characterization in a musical that borrows so much from a culture and tradition of freestyle rap. His Slytherin Secondary is one of the few things that can go toe-to-toe with Hamilton’s brilliant—and equally improvisational—Gryffindor Secondary.

We don’t get too much of Jefferson’s Primary, but from his somewhat aloof stability, his adaptability, and his idealistic commitment to the promises the young USA had made to Lafayette and France, we’re erring towards a Ravenclaw Primary for him.

No strong opinions on Madison over here (other than his voice is astounding). Foundational (Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw) Secondary, probably? Hufflepuff Primary?

The quick wits and fast-talking of “Hamilton” lend well to a wealth of Improvisational Secondaries: the transformative, creative Slytherin Secondary (Jefferson, Angelica) and the brash, inspirational Gryffindor Secondary (Hamilton, Laurens, Mulligan). Even Burr at least pretends to have them; he “performs” a sort of Slytherin Secondary-thing as his cautious, shifty Act One self, and then in Act Two, Burr adopts a Gryffindor Secondary performance that he borrowed from Hamilton—which Hamilton promptly and publicly refutes (The Election of 1800).

Eliza is one of our major examples of a nice, steady Hufflepuff Secondary: She is certain and patient in what she wants, and she will work at it until the end of her days (Paciencia y fe, anyone?). But our other major Hufflepuff Secondary is George Washington. While he has a great admiration and trust in the forthrightness of Hamilton’s Gryffindor (and occasionally a great deal of long-suffering headaches, too, I’m sure), Washington himself rocks a gritty Hufflepuff Secondary that carries much of the war on its determined back.

Washington will not give up. He will work till it’s done. He will do his duty. Unlike Hamilton, Washington does not feel obligated to wear his opinions on his sleeve; indeed, if anything, Washington feels a great and pressing need to keep to himself, to think of posterity (Can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second?). History has its eyes on him—and he knows it.

It’s not a universal truth, but there is a markèd tendency for Hufflepuff Secondaries to put a greater stock, focus, and awareness on reputation. A consistency of work and purpose—and the powers and effects of the reputation that comes with that (as well as the results of the work)—are a major part of the strength of a Hufflepuff Secondary. Eliza and Washington are the two characters with both the most self-awareness and the most awareness of their place in the historical narrative.

Washington, tempered by his disastrous early attempts at war and his concern for posterity (History Has Its Eyes on You), is one of the harder Primaries to pin down. We think he’s a Hufflepuff Primary, hid a bit under the Gryffindor-smelling trappings of someone in an effective leadership position. He puts such a strong emphasis on group cohesion, on responding to Alexander’s “I’s” and “you’s” with “we’s”.  ‘The nation’ is something he wants to be part of, perhaps even more than something he believes in. When he’s setting up his cabinet in Non-Stop, he explains it as “The people are asking me to lead. I’m doing the best I can.” This is about people and about duty, not about right and wrong.

Washington’s a tough Sort because he’s one of the more careful characters in the play when it comes to presentation to the audience—Burr, of course, is massively careful in his presentation to the world, but songs like Wait for It and The Room Where It Happens mean we humble listeners feel like we know him pretty well by the end of it all. Washington plays it a little closer to the chest… Burr, didn’t you know History would have its eyes on you? Well, Tumblr has, anyway…

TL;DR

Hamilton, Burr, Eliza, Angelica, and Mulligan share ambitious and loyal Slytherin Primaries (well, Hamilton’s is a bit charred around the edges, but wouldn’t you be, after his life?). (Also, Lin-Manuel, yes, we completely believe you’re a Slytherin, goodness gracious. You write them beautifully.) 

Laurens and Lafayette are Gryffindor Primaries. Washington is a Hufflepuff Primary.

Laurens and Mulligan (I NEED NO INTRODUCTION!) both share Hamilton’s charging Gryffindor Secondary, while Washington is as steady a Puff Secondary as Eliza.

Burr, despite a hale and hearty and loving Slytherin Primary at his core, is as damaged by his losses and life as Hamilton, who for so long stays so wary of really bonding himself to the people around him (or, honestly, living in general). But Burr took that damage to his Secondary instead; he has chosen to wait and not act. (He has, perhaps, the last vestiges of a Hufflepuff Secondary, but too wary to really invest in anything?)

Jefferson is our lone Ravenclaw Primary (probably?), but he shares Angelica’s quick and powerful Slytherin Secondary.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Have yall heard of SHC? Sorting Hat Chats? a way of sorting houses split into primary and secondary for why you do things and how you do things. i find it really interesting and am curious what you and vinelle would be!

Note: @therealvinelle and I took this independently to ensure the validity of the results. If we get another daemon result I will cry.

And my results are...

Primary: Ravenclaw with a Strong Contender for Gryffindor and Burned Gryffindor (apparently, I am a cynic)

Secondary: Hufflepuff