#burn outs happen to everyone
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#jjk#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#sugusato#gego#satosugu#like if he would have killed him none of this would have happened#if he would have BURNED HIM IMMEDIATELY none of this would have happened#if Geto had reached out none of this would have happened#they made their breakup EVERYONE’S FUCKING PROBLEM
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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i know tim said we're not getting a cliffhanger but man. how good would it be if we got buck nde while eddie was leaving LA to go get chris back and had no way of knowing. like maybe its the a shift's day off and eddie decides on a whim that actually, he wants his kid back mom, and he buys a last minute plane ticket. and buck gets into a car accident or his loft burns down or whatever. and everyone's in the hospital waiting room getting frustrated at eddie's number going straight to voicemail and wondering just where the fuck eddie is. meanwhile eddie's on the plane sitting and thinking like Hmmm i wonder if chris will come more willingly if i mention buck's name... :)
#i think this would eat SO much. but also it would probably make me reach levels of insanity currently unknown to human beings#so maybe no cliffhanger for the midseason finale is okay#me mentioning a car accident or bucks loft burning down like i genuinely dont care as long as we're putting that man in the horror labyrint#just let him almost die man. let him experience some agony... and i say this lovingly#is this anything. maybe this would eat literally just for me and me alone and everyone else would throw up at the idea of this happening#in that case. my bad i just needed to put this out in the universe#alice talks#911 abc#911 spec#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie
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Left this abandoned in the drafts (which is a bit ironic) but it's a spin on this post, where instead of Apollo just being locked in some room on Olympus somewhere, he's bound to the ruins of an abandoned Ancient Greek city. Maybe somewhere near Delphi, maybe Troy, idk.
#trials of apollo#toa apollo#lester papadopoulos#sunny speaks#would this count as another au? idk#apollart#I got this Idea after learning about ancient Thera (which I can't believe I didn't know about before)#It was kind of the Ancient Greek equivalent to Pompeii? Except the volcanic eruption was MUCH more catastrophic#but because the eruption was so big the people on the island had warning signs for like a decade before it happened#So we have ruins that have been perfectly preserved but there are no bodies#Bc all the people were able to evacuate before the disaster#I mean there aren't even animal corpses at these sites they got everyone out#Fun fact this is also considered to be a large reason why Minoan civilization ended up falling apart#ANYWAYS all that aside I heard “abandoned ruins that have been perfectly preserved in ash” and immediately thought “Hmmmm yes ... suffering#Though to be clear I would not put Apollo in the ruins of ancient Thera (Tho the thought of him being the local cryptid of Santorini is fun#But you know what other city was burned to the ground? Heeheehee
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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Brainrot? Brainrot... or Drabble. Idk
I’m alive! Sort of? Honkai: Star Rail has viciously grabbed my brain the second I saw it and now I have thoughts... and this is also because I got yanked in by the throat from both the silly content and beautiful artwork.
And if it wasn’t enough to nail a coffin to my grave, Tumblr dropped a post from @channelinglament (which is this post right here) and now my brain’s keeping me up with thoughts.
Not sure if I’ll have enough energy to spare for actual posts, but maybe with enough food for thought, I might actually make a piece or two... might. Due to HSR’s brand of silliness, it might just be Shenanigans the Fic.
The thing that gets to me the most is the highest of Aeons part, like... the Aeon of Aeons and you know, while I still know almost nothing about how Aeons come to be, what if there’s that one Entity that just exists and gives power that basically ascends whatever is sentient.
Of course the term “Aeon” would not be applied until numerous of the ascended beings are present and people are suddenly aware that there are these powerful beings in the universe now that can literally affect everything and bring about a permanent change to their livelihood. One moment the universe is all calm and normal and then here comes the Aeons. People do not know how to feel about them at first.
Naturally, there will always be the curious type of people who would try to search for the cause of it.
Pop in lil old You, just trying to help everyone you come across who look to be in desperate need power to be able to change their unfortunate circumstances. Too pure of heart, harmless mischief maker, just overall the sweetest entity with the power to turn anything into gods... yes, this is how beings like Qlipoth and Nous are born.
Now this gets me thinking that the Paths existed as one big, singular Path with you as the origin point and the ending point. When you gift a part of your power to someone/something, a piece of the path branches out of the main path but still remains connected to you... whether out of devotion or because it cannot exist without you is up in the air (your choice tbh).
The people/Aeons would just feel so grateful to be chosen, to be given so much power to do what they wished to change/do most... this was before they discovered there were others like them, doing things different from them that may clash with their ideals and suddenly there’s an all out war because each of the Aeons believed that the others were sullying your name by abusing your gifts.
(While the Dusk Wars are happening, you remain in ignorance to the wars because there are mortals that are calling for help and you just can’t look away from them.)
Eventually most of the Aeons are either killed off by each other (i.e, Tayzzyronth the Propagation) or assimilated into another Aeon (i.e Ena the Order), leaving a great many Paths masterless and fraying in shards, which suddenly starts to affect you badly and the poor Aeons who were just trying to do your name justice are panicking.
No one knows what happened, or what was happening to you, and when Akivili disappears/died, you disappear as well. Everyone is grieving, and there are no more new Aeons appearing anymore.
Thus you are assumed dead by the universe (this part came from another post that I can’t quite find ;-;) and later become forgotten just because... idk. Haven’t thought much past this.
Plot twist for the universe (not really a plot twist because there would be no story without the star of the show), you are not. You just got a bit (super) sleepy because the Paths that are masterless are without an ending point and therefore drains you because there is no one there to receive the power from the separated Path. You spent a lot of your energy mending the masterless Paths back to you which made you fall asleep by the time you were done.
When you wake back up is when the game starts, and being so out of touch with the timeline of the universe, you’re just one curious bean trying to figure out what’s going on.
No one can see you now though, which is just sad for you, but you realized they can sense you so you’re just doing your best to help them now. Kafka and Silver Wolf do not understand what’s going on except the strange warm and homely feeling that makes them feel invincible is suddenly there.
Also a mischief maker if the randomly destroyed property by the subtle urging is anything to go by... yeah, there’s something there.
Kafka and Silver Wolf feel oddly disappointed when the sensation leaves, but returns to Elio and mentions it to him. He then tells them that he may or may not have withheld information from them that an Aeon (the OG of Aeons) was going to be helping them. However they react is up to your thoughts... I haven’t thought of something for that part yet.
When MC (could be either) wakes up, the first thing they actually see is You... which makes you delighted because Yay, a friend to communicate with!. Neither March 7th nor Dan Heng could understand why the MC is talking to nothing, until they felt the warm and fuzzy presence nestled into them that they are suddenly aware that MC might be interacting with a higher existence that might be an Aeon.
They are naturally wary of you at first, but upon seeing the way MC interacts with you, doing some silly stuff by your apparent urging... they realized you’re pretty harmless and also very nice (in what way, also up in the air).
[Going back to the subject of other Aeons who are essentially your Emanators by all but name, they do not know you are alive until Nanook catches sight of you/felt your very real presence with the MC when the Doomsday Beast battle happens. They are very happy you’re back, but they’re very upset because why didn’t you tell them you were back? For what reason, you guys can think about it.
Anyways, you’ve got an Aeon stalking you and MC now, keeping a close eye on you especially because they nearly lost you once and would like it if you didn’t actually die this time. When MC starts getting acknowledged by more of the Aeons, more of them are also going to notice you too and then join Nanook with the stalking thing.
Eventually if they do find you in reality... well, that’s up to your imagination. It can also be a race between them and the mortals who start to see you physically too since you’re the sweetest existence to ever come into the universe and it’s a must to protect that innocence of yours (or for some other reason).
Also highly debating if Aeon!You would be either Aeon of Origin (the beginning of the Paths/the Origin of the Paths if going by this type of story) or Aeon of Guidance because of the in-game thing that we all do.]
Uhh... that’s all my brain can come up with here... so I shall see myself out now! ;D
#sahsr x reader#self aware au#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#I apologize to everyone who followed me for not doing anything here for a long time#lots of stuff happened#but also burned out#still burnt out to a crisp rn#especially with summer approaching over here#I don't do well being melted alive by the heat ;w;
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It's the 10th anniversary of Pacific Rim and I've been seeing so much fanart on my dash over the past couple days, so I'm joining in the fun
Being "drift compatible" completely rewrote my brain 10 years ago and frankly we're under-utilizing it
#i just like the idea of them painting their own drive suits#i'm gonna have to draw newt and hermann at some point#mash#mash 4077#pacific rim#hawkeye pierce#trapper#john mcintyre#hawkeye#frank burns#piercintyre#jaeger#my art#look the best thing that happened when this movie came out was absolutely everyone putting their fandoms into pacific rim aus
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I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.
#fourth wing#ngl my first thought reading the book was 'oh shit she Knew brennan wanted to use his sis as a scribe informant for the rebellion the same#way he maybe used his dad and she was like hell no and put her in the riders quadrant to get her brainwashed that navarre is right instead#so that she doesn't end up dead like spy-scribe dad and his questionable research into ward magic'#but then i thought about it more and decided i wasn't giving papa sorrengail enough credit bcoz he was Up to Something and got got for it#personally if my entire family was lying to me abt my big bro being alive i would lose my shit. that being said i find it incredibly funny#that everyone who knew violet best were like 'she finds out venin are a thing and she WILL do A Stupid out of righteous fury'#not A Stupid like smthn dumb; A Stupid like lead the entire scribe quadrant to a bloody revolution against Navarre Babel-style#I can't wait for this series to finish publishing so I can sit my ass down and plot out a scribe-revolution-leader-Violet AU#it can even be a viden secret arranged marriage. as a treat. because we need to merge the two rebellions of course#where is tiern in all of this? he got stuck babysitting teen andarna who is Super Mad her rider is a scribe. The Audacity! Navarre Will Pay#teenage dragon shenanigans occur. Scribe Violet bonds two dragons in front of her whole year. they're in the underground scribe library.#how did two enormous-ass lizards get in? nobody gives a shit. all scribes are too sleep-deprieved to care about distinguishing between#real life and halucinations. the dragons stay in the library. they get sat on because it's cold underground and fire lizards are Warm#command tries to find out if smthn weird is happening in the scribe quadrant but at this point every single one of them is in the rebellion#they have 600yrs of misinfo to correct. venin to dissect. what dragons? in the library? don't be ridiculous they'd burn the books#anyways i got carried away but library cats!tiern and andarna#kei writes
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if dust takes off his hood and scarf then nobody can recognize him. he has literally no permanent traits that make him recognizable (which actually kinds upsets me because,,,,, there is no physical representation of his character development from sans to dust BUT EAAHHHH whatever,,, we cope with it.) but in like a silly goofy comedic way. it's like perry the playapus ans dr doofenshirmst (incorrect spelling but only by societies standards)
dust with hood down and no scarf
killer: a sans?
he puts on the scarf
horror: a GENOCIDE sans???
the hood goes up
killer: DUST SANS AKA MURDER SANS AKA DUSTTALE SANS FROM HIT AU DUSTTALE?????
horror's skull breaks a second time on the other side from sheer shock
#why use mtt for this example? WHY NOT USE MTT FOR THIS EXAMPLE#heh. buddy pal chummy chum friend you forgot who you're talking to. this is triglycercule pal.#the fella with the name mttmttmtt? the fella who has a pfp and banner of them? the fella whos posts are 78% about them?#heh.... these beta beginners have no idea whos post theyre reading..... 𝓸𝓲 𝓸𝓲 𝓸𝓲..... 𝓫𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓴𝓪...........#please do not let that previous tag effect your perception of me that was in a satirical way#anyways this ide is so funny. i think if i had more motivation to draw comics this one would absolutely pop off. but i dont#my issue is that majority of the ideas i think of in my head appear in COMIC form#so its either slave away at drawing and burn out motivation or write a post that cant fully encapsulate all my ideas#well of course i'll take the easier route because i'm a lazy prick#BUT STILL. guys if anyone ever wants to steal my content to make a comic or write something or draw something#i give you permission to do so. you can steal my content all you want#as long as you say it was inspired by someone. dont even have to say who.... but you'll know. and i'll know. and that's enough for me#no but on a serious not if someone actually used my shitty tumblr posts as inspiration to draw something i would be SO FUCKING HONORED#the day that happens is the day i ascend to heaven. not because i killed myself tho. i'd go to hell if i did that#i hope someone laughs at these tags because i sure am#it may just be the lack of friends to tell me if i'm funny or not but i consider myself the funniest person. ever#put me up to a stage and tell me to do stand up i'd have everyone chortling#except the crowd has to be my fans#ANYWAYS time to get to work. dattebayo ‼️‼️‼️🤣👊👊#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#ohhh is this a hc. absolutely but a really really silly one#often times than not i come up with headcanons and then i proceed not to actually headcanon characters as that. huh#tricule hc
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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one
#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded#while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw#i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that#shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth#with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying#child death with . what the fuck#and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory#lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment#etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord#and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite#how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again#christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are#jay rambles
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Jason Todd
Give Me a Character
How I feel about Jason? I love him. He's my boy. He's a martyr. He's a cautionary tale. He's always been doomed since the day he was born. The very universe itself conspires against him because readers wanted him to die. So he dies. Again and again, in every universe, he dies, and he fights, and he tries to make the world a better place, and he wants to be kind, but he is doomed, always, every time, even when he comes back. It's tragic, and I hate what they've done to him, but without it, he wouldn't be the same person. He wouldn't be my blorbo.
JoyFire (Jason Todd x Roy Harper x Koriand'r) is my OTP for this guy. And I will say it out loud, I also enjoy JayTim and JayDick. I like JoyFire because it's like… the family you choose. Each of them has trauma about getting left behind in some sense. So they'll never leave each other. Even if Jason's a jerk sometimes, he will never, ever leave either of them hanging when it matters even a little. And they're the same for him. I like JayTim because Tim thinks Jason is so annoying, and Jason thinks Tim is so smart and capable, and so there's a little bit of pining in there? Especially in the opposite way one would expect by looking at them. But Tim knows that Jason's smart, and I kind of ignore a bunch of the ugliness that happened right around Under the Red Hood with them, to be honest. Not completely, but some of it. I think that Tim can admire Jason's ingenuity and persistence even when he's rolling his eyes at him, and I think that Jason thinks so highly of Tim, even when he refuses to ever say it out loud. And as for JayDick, maybe some of it is just me smashing my favorite dolls together. I freaking love Dick Grayson. Who doesn't? And I freaking love Jason, and they have a complicated relationship, but they love each other, whether you want it to be brotherly, friendly, or romantic. They love each other, and I'll take that in any flavor I can get it.
Non-romantic OTP is also Jason and Dick. You cannot tell me these two don't share the braincell when they're in a room together. But also, they can be hyper competent together. If they're both motivated and working together, they can do anything. Including building a heated roof pool out of cardboard, a carbon metallic alloy, and a "borrowed" shop vacuum.
(Also gotta mention that I adore father-son pair Bruce and Jason. The two of them are just so wonderful together, how Jason brings such joy into Bruce's life and Bruce just wants Jason to heal and realize his dreams, ah!)
Unpopular opinion about him? Willis was a good dad. [lifts a megaphone] Willis Todd was a good dad! He was a victim of a broken system and turned to crime because it was the only means he had to provide for his family! Any time he laid a hand on Jason or Catherine was still unjustified, but it was because Willis was a deeply frustrated and scared man who had no system or room to handle his negative emotions or feel accomplishment in his life! [puts down the megaphone] Domestic abuse is never okay, and that goes the same if a woman is the abuser. But Willis was not an asshole, he was a poverty-stricken petty criminal with the most minimal support system. He loved Jason, and he loved Catherine, and he tore himself up to do his best to provide for them all the way to the end. His story is a sad one, he was not the villain, and I hate it when people say Jason is better off without him and didn't mourn him or feel bad about his death.
There's a lot of things I wished hadn't happened to him in canon, but most of all, I hate what Zur En Arrh did to him.* It was absolutely terrible, and then the fact that nobody was left to give Jason any support at all after the fact because they were all chasing Zur really gets to me. The way that one panel just showed him trembling, so small, alone, asking anybody at all for help…. It breaks my heart. Because it's always like that for him. He ends up alone, on his own, because he's the black sheep and he's mad about it, and he defends people who others leave behind. And it breaks my heart in a way that actually very truly makes me sad. Because there are people who think he deserves it. Including the writers.
#Jason Todd#Red Hood#Batman#Willis Todd#ask game#JayDick#JayTim#JoyFire#can I ax you something?#domestic abuse mention#fuck Zur En Arrh#makes me wanna throw Bruce out a freakin' window#*Zur En Arrh secretly installed a microchip into the base of Jason's neck that detects when he has an adrenalin rush#and micro-doses him with Scarecrow fear toxin when that happens#this means that Jason becomes deeply viscerally afraid every time his body produces adrenalin#this means that he can't fight#he can't have sex#he can't get excited over a book#he can't receive a gift#he can't forget something's in the microwave or get burned by the stove or be surprised by a doorbell#because all of these things will send him spiralling into a truly crippling panic attack#and that happened and then EVERYBODY just left him alone in a broken building#because EVERYONE left him alone in a broken building#because that's his damned life AND death#but hey#Dick beat Bruce within an inch of his life for it and then verbally ripped him a new asshole#so at least we got that out of it#highly doubt Jason knows about it though#anyway yeah#thanks Kate for picking the person that you KNOW I was going to go off the hardest about XD
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"goodsir is neoliberalism bc he tried to kill those guys blah blah blah" they kidnapped him and then they made him cut up men to be consumed as an act of control and pure humiliation by threatening to kill probably the last man he still liked in that party, forcing him to be complicit in an act he is viciously against, and to be complicit in the survival of the very men who betrayed the whole expedition and who are using him like a tool. and then the guy he's trying to protect comes up to him to sob and monologue at him about cannibalism and religion and acts of survival and belief as some kind of justification for the fact that he's an absolute pussy ass bitch who'd rather lie down and take it than stand up in the face of acts and circumstances he finds abhorrent. and goodsir was supposed to not be a cunt abt that? lol
#it's so important that in ep 1 we see him trying to argue with stanley bc he doesn't want to cut into young bc he asked him not to#and stanely is like. cut into him you loser. and like he does it but he really doesn't like it bc young specifically asked for the opposite#it's desecration of his last wishes#and then in the mutineers camp he is forced to cut into someone again when he absolutely does not want to#he doesn't want to be complicit in the cannibalism and he doesn't want to help the mutineers#which hickey knows. so he uses the act of cutting up the bodies as an act of humiliation#just as stanley standing there like a hardass doing fuck all except be an ass only you know. worse.#so often when goodsir tries to do what he thinks is right someone with more power tries or does prevent him to do so#and the comparison to stanley burning everyone as a mercy kill doesn't hold up for me bc at that point so much just has not happened yet#completely different situations. at carnivale stanley has lost hope where everyone else still has at least some of it#at mutiny camp there's a couple men who betrayed everyone else out of arrogance and selfishness#and hickey gets off on humiliating those who he thinks think are better than him. hodge for his previous position. goodsir for his morality#like goodsir was not needed to cut into those bodies. and he knows he isn't he deadass says that.#the only reason hickey makes him do it is bc he needs to humiliate him.#brother id be so fucking mad id start killing everyone too#the terror#harry goodsir#it's like listen i get where the argument is coming from. but also i think this is a very understandable thing to do from his perspective
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Start of s1: Everyone is super concerned that Fan Xian is drawing the negative attention of the Crown Prince, worried that he’s being dragged into the crosshairs of the dangerous fight between the powerful princes and that it won’t end well for him
Start of s2: Everyone knows that Fan Xian is fighting with the Second Prince, and assumes he’s capable of holding his own; the Crown Prince is his ally; nobody really wants to be within firing distance of any of their combined bullshit
#they started it!#meanwhile the poor courtiers and other ministers are probably like. HOW did this happen.#how did it go from two powerful princes fighting to two powerful princes fighting plus fan xian fucking everyone up on the regular#and ALSO being of royal blood while he’s at it#and as soon as the town burning comes out fan xian is coming for the crown prince. we all know that#so what does he team up with the second prince momentarily again? do THEY team up to take him down?#either way it’s a three way struggle between fan xian and the two princes on terms that are far too close to equal#we’ve come so far and probably nobody is happy about this except the emperor#he’s giving them gold stars for scheming and inviting them to family brunch#joy of life#joy of life 2#joy of life spoilers
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People can't just say they don't like something anymore they've gotta act like you're morally corrupt for [checks notes] experiencing joy
#'how dare you be excited about [thing] when theres bad things happening in the world. youre a terrible person.'#shut the fuck up. would you rather everyone killed themselves instead? is that a better scenario?#burning yourself out on nothing but anger and sadness will help no one. take what happiness you can get in this train wreck of a world#we're all just trying to live in it. you are not a bad person for trying to make it easier to do so
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im doing something different for commissions this coming time
#i have to cleanup/line/color/ the last of the work I have to do#and then im gonna take a break for a week or two#for the next batch it’s gonna be different I’ve decided#im probably going to make them ko-fi 6 or 8 slots first come first serve#im gonna raise my prices too. im sorry if this an inconvenience#im not going to get too personal but there like rough changes happening in my life and i feel very physically sick rn#i feel very ill and im feeling so intensely ever since being off my meds. I don’t want to make it anyone’s problem#im SO greatful to the people who want art from me. and im so greatful for the commissions i get.#I think I worked myself to the point of misery . im feeing the physical effects of it#im just physically exhausted and I don’t want to burn myself out#I can barely respond to people and I don’t want to have others deal with it#I have no other ways of getting money so I physically depend on these#I don’t want to feel like im only good for making art . i don’t want to make it seem like im lazy when im working everyday#hopefully I finish the rest of my work in the coming week. I appreciate everyone whose supported me and my art#and im sorry for being a bit of a downer. I’ll get back to regular posting 🧡#txt
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