#bulletproof bandits

[bulletproofbandits]

Gravity...

don't mean too much to me...

(redux)

[aleximustd13]

can i have some oc lore pls its cold and im starving

maaaannn you're in for a ride!! ok ok where do i start

my "main" ocs are Russell, Dylan, Frankie & Viktor. together they are the bulletproof bandits and they are my lifeblood. bb is set in the year 2084, between the two towns Rhinestone City and Liberty City, where the first is a post-apocalyptic wasteland and the later is basically a mix between london in orwell's 1984 and neo-tokyo in akira. Russell lives in Rhinestone City with his buddy Dylan, plus a couple of thousands of survivors. the two live day by day making favors for the local gangs, when one day they get sent on a mission in liberty city, where they meet frankie and later on will be joined by viktor. here are their character sheets:

really, i could go on and on and tell you their story word by word but i feel like the topic is so vast i could stay here for hours. go to @bulletproofbandits if you feel like learning more about them!! also i am writing their story and posting it on wattpad <3

ohh and another thing. if you notice any similarities with danger days and the killjoys, believe me when i tell you i didn't do it on purpose lol like, i realized russell is basically party poison wayyyy after i created him. i guess me and gerard have similar minds when it comes to character design (which makes me want to make a comic with them soooo bad MX WAY WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED TO TALK)

my other oc is nuclear cat, my killjoy persona!! i created them a couple of years ago and i'm re-picking them up only now so i'm still building up their story. they're based on me from a few years ago when i had their exact same haircut and dye-job. they live in zone 4 and lost two of their friends in a drac attack, while the third one left the group just before that. NC, now alone, is looking for his ex-friend with the intention of asking him to come back to him, while also looking for new squad members. here's my rp blog for them if you're interested: @nuclearcat-fromthe-dangerzone

okay i think i yapped enough for now!! thank you so much for the ask <333 i love talking about my blorbinos 🥹

[aleximustd13]

sjshdhdjdj im afraid we'll have to wait till the end of the story before this happens

friends to lovers never had a bad track. “scared i’ll ruin what we have” SLAPS. “friendship cuddles while secretly dying inside” BANGER. “teasing each other and holding eye contact for a little too long” KILLS ME. and don’t even get me STARTED on “screaming i love you in the middle of a heated argument.”

[arnold-layne]

🍏🍌🍑? (also sorry accidentally unfollowed sorry for the notif)

haha i thought so when i saw the notif! those damn buttons are so close i once followed a bot instead of blocking it. thank u for the ask <3

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

i have to admit, i'm rather fond of gerunds 😔 this results in one long and complex sentence where two short would suffice. since the specifics of english grammar make it so that you can't not have a verb in a complete sentence, this structure can get pretty repetitive and monotonous, and that's where gerunds come in. but i really overuse them sometimes. i usually weed out the excessive ones during editing tho

(i just went and counted some in the chapter im editing now. 13 gerunds in 400 words. do you see the problem)

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

uhhh im sorry i cant remember any right now :(

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

um, i don't really get the question, does it mean like analysing parallels between them or dumping a character into another universe? can't really think of anything for the former (it's rpf, after all, kinda hard to search for parallels in real people's lives), but as for the latter, i'd love to dump the crue into fallout universe. i think it could make for a very interesting au, but i really doubt there are a lot of people beside me who'd enjoy a mix of that. nikki would be a drugged-out raider who quit his gang and is trying to survive on his own out in the wasteland. tommy would be a vault dweller who for some reason had to go above ground and is now confused and lost. (nikki might try to rob him upon their first meeting). vince would be a stripper or a prostitute in a big city who'd never really gone beyond its borders and only heard stories from travelers, and is now eager to see the world. (he'll be very disappointed but also it would be kinda worth it). and mick would be a former brotherhood of steel paladin who got tired of their imperialism and is now hunted by them because he stole some valuable tech

[soleminisanction]

“I made him bring me, y’know.”

Steph jolted awake, the uncanniness of hearing her own voice make words she’d never spoken jarring down her spine. She was in the Batcave, or rather, in one of the small containment cells that, in her world, would’ve been reserved for when someone was dosed with fear gas or some other unknown substance in the field. She doubted that was their purpose here. 

Her bruised throat throbbed. It ached with pain from the day before, when the man who was and wasn’t Dick—the one who called himself ‘Renegade’—had choked her out during the surprise attack his awful mirrorverse crime family had sprung on their world. She didn’t think anything was broken, or at least not too badly, but it was all so swollen she could barely speak, and what little she could manage was agonizing. 

Her opposite number probably knew that, of course. She sat now on the opposite side of the glass door, mirroring the position Steph had taken against the wall to catch what sleep she could. Their faces were identical, their bodies a perfect match. Their costumes shared a color scheme, though Owl-Spoiler’s had more of a medieval bandit aesthetic overall and considerably more silver, especially the razor sharp silver claw rings she wore over her gloves on all ten fingers. 

These, she drummed against a cocked knee as she continued speaking, keeping up a mocking air of casual conversation. “I’m not exactly standard deployment on these ‘away’ missions. There’s a reason I’m in here, guarding you, instead of out picking fights right now. My talents lie much more in the realm of… subterfuge. Subversion. Spoiling other people’s plans.”

She chuckled at her own joke. Steph pulled her knees in more tightly and hid a scowl behind her crossed arms.

“But I had to be a part of this one. I even spent some of the blackmail I keep in my back pocket to make sure Owlman kept me involved. You want to know why?” The Owl tilted her head onto her shoulder, regarding Steph coldly, her blue eyes icy and unblinking. “It’s because I hate you.” 

The raw truth of the word plunged into Steph’s stomach like a block of ice. Owl-Spoiler rolled up onto one knee and loomed over her counterpart, the gloom of the cave casting her face in shadow. Yet her eyes remained clear, unblinking, as though they were shining. 

“I hated you the moment I saw you. You remind me of him.” 

Didn’t take a genius to guess who she meant. She began to slowly drag her claws down the glass.

“You know the thing I hate most about my father? He cared more about ‘serving and protecting’ total strangers than ever did about his own family. He even made sure they arrested the guys who shot Mom.” The claws dug in, leaving marks in the glass and making their shrieks even louder. “He spent my entire life putting everything and everyone in this miserable, broken, worthless shithole of a city before me, and he wasn’t even doing it for a good reason. He didn’t actually care about people, only that he got to be their hero. That everyone could finally see how good and smart he was.”

Her lips curled and she looked at Steph like she was something disgusting she’d just scraped off the bottom of her boot. “You might have my face. But I can tell: you’re exactly like him.” 

Aching throat or no, Steph lifted her head to snap back, to shut the bitch and her bullshit down, but before she could form the words Spoiler slammed her fist into the glass barrier so hard it startled Steph into lurching back. 

“Don’t try to deny it!” the Owl snarled. “I know you. I am you.” 

Stephanie stared at herself, at this twisted reflection with only a pane of bulletproof glass between them, and tried to tell herself that it—she—didn’t know what she was talking about. That it was all a trick, a lie, a mistake.

The Owl regarded her coldly for a moment more, then sniffed and rose to her feet. 

“I’m probably too narcissistic to actually kill you. But trust me, when I get the okay, I’m going to make you wish you were dead.” She adjusted her cape and turned on her heel, leaving Steph with a dismissive little finger-wriggle of farewell. “Don’t get too comfortable. The boys’ll be home any time now.”

---

(Why yes I am still thinking about the better version of Earth-3 Steph that could've been, as if it wasn't obvious.)

[weirdsatellites]

SIGINT #68611 from FalconSAT-8 (TS/SCI) 1. Maw of Snowmen 2. Bulletproof Clowns 3. Boundless Bandit Bridge

[blurban-form]

I’m guessing items like this sticker of Bandit with a bazooka and a bulletproof vest are why Bluey’s lawyers have been cracking down on homemade Etsy Bluey stuff.

[manda-kat]

Writing about my stupid, mustachioed OC (Dagney) and his introduction scene shows the following events:

He is a bandit intercepting a carriage filled with money. (The country he is in is underdeveloped, not medieval. Carriages are just the best option)

He stealthily halts the carriage without the guards realizing they are in an ambush

He then ruins this advantage by just waltzing up to the guards and striking up a conversation out of pure arrogance

He gives the guards time to recognize him as a wanted criminal and even brags about his infamous nature

He proceeds to use his powers (which is a pocket dimension he fills with guns) to summon a bunch of weapons to wipe out the guards (nonlethally)

He steals a horse

He proves that his powers make him virtually bulletproof and capable of firing bullets back at other people

He faces off against the captain of the guard and intimidates him into calling off his men

He demands the guards give him all the money and their weapons

He proceeds to gloat about his powers and skill and also insult the captain directly, questioning his capability as a leader and blaming connections for why the captain is employed at all

Only once everybody thoroughly hates him, his body fails him and the result of him overusing his powers leaves him in incredible pain and unable to fight or flee.

He throws up on one of the guards

He is arrested and the story actually begins

[aleximustd13]

DUDE I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS THIS IS AMAZING

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands @arnold-layne LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl that is NOT bisexual lighting!!! You're being pulled over!!!

anyways I made a brush for drawing dreadlocks and used @x-s-t-i-t-c-h-e-s-x 's character Dylan to test it

[bulletproofbandits]

Thinkin'...

Ref pic under the cut

[aleximustd13]

bulletproof bandits on this chart NOW

Here you go bestie <3

As you can see i love them all and equal amount

[betaot4]

thursday snippet <3

it's style this time!!! thanks so much for the tag @foursaints i've been working diligently on this fic and it's kind of been stressing me out. this feels like i'm getting some... recognition for my efforts lmao

“I want to play a different game today,” said Kyle as he stomped towards Stan, harsh footsteps digging trenches into the fresh snow. “Why don’t you be a bandit, and I’ll be the Sheriff, and I can try and stop you from robbing the saloon.” Most days Stan was Kyle’s partner in crime-stopping, Sheriff Marsh. “What, so I’m a shitty partner?” Stan was tired. Using his gloved hand, he dusted fresh powder off a rock so he could sit without getting his ass wet. The revolver was becoming a nuisance in his grasp; he threw it down into the snow and shoved his fists in his jacket pocket.  “No! You can be the Sheriff if you want. I don’t really care.” Stan knew Kyle well enough to sense that he did care. It had been difficult over the past few months to get him to take that damn vest off. Stan was mystified by it, the procurement of power through an article of clothing, and the way Cartman only seemed to be intimidated by Kyle when he was wearing it. Thin and cheaply-riveted leather might as well have been a bulletproof vest. Stan looked to the toy gun at his feet. Perhaps Kyle was trying to share his newfound empowerment with him and that was the purpose of the gift. He looked so free when they played these games, running around and asserting his jurisdiction over their imaginary outlaws. “It’s okay. The vest doesn’t fit me anyways.” They had tried once to put it on him but couldn’t stretch it over the span of Stan’s back. Fresh off of Kyle it was warm, and Stan thought about how warm it would be now, immersed in Kyle’s coat, sweat-tinged, drowning in his body heat, and felt regretful for how early his shoulders had broadened. 

this snippet is from a fic i'm writing for an exchange so i really hope the recipient doesn't see it. tagging @ladygreige MY WIFE and @turnabtsisters/@deadkennys THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TAG YOU GUYS lol i can't wait to see what you come up with... it can be for any fandom obviously (or none at all)

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

THE CAPTION HELP

The forest of the flying dagger

Click for better quality 👀

[tavina-writes]

Ten First Lines game!

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven’t written ten fics, share as many first-sentences as you have.

Thanks to @fortune-maiden for the tag! I have some recent works that are currently unrevealed/in anon for exchanges right now, so this isn't per se the exact most recent ten lines, and I've excluded that one fic that's entirely just meta (and probably will have to exclude some birthday bash works, but! from most recent to least recent, here's the first ten lines from the last ten serious fics I've posted: 1. "The first time it happened, it was a bit of a joke."

-- should've wanted less from Self Identity Flash for Elsin, OW, OFC & OFC, YA Dystopia, Possession Tropes 2. "Lan Sizhui did not come back to the Cloud Recesses."

-- a late spring frost from Five Figure Fanwork Exchange for stickpenalties, MDZS, LXC & LQR, Lan Family, Post Canon, Grief/Mourning

3. "Nie Huaisang spends the autumn and winter after Guanyin Temple painting as though he might never again behold the visages of Qinghe."

-- but I'm not in charge of sorrow (so please don't ask me when), The Untamed/CQL/MDZS, NHS-centric post canon, Grief/Mourning

4. "Nie Mingjue was forced into a kneeling position in front of Wen Ruohan’s throne."

-- maybe, perhaps, almost from Bulletproof 22/23 for Afinasca, The Untamed, NieYao, Nightless City Throne Room which is neither what really happened nor Nie Mingjue's memories but a secret sexier third thing

5. "It was a well known fact that Nie Mingjue would do anything for his brother."

-- On Hands and Knees from Bulletproof 22/23 for shnuffeluv, The Untamed, NMJ & NHS and NMJ & WQ; alternate universe where NMJ has to seek out a doctor for NHS 6. "It is near noon on a dry summer day when someone from the village comes to the small cottage Qiao A-Lu shared with Yuan Ruo-lang, to tell her that her husband had been captured by river bandits."

-- The River Merchant's Wife from Bulletproof 22/23 for Tharia, OW, OMC /OFC, Historical Fantasy China, the main character is a hulijing. 7. “Sesshomaru?” Rin had grown quickly since he had seen her last, left at the human village where she would be cared for instead of coming with him to wander the world. “Can I ask you a question?”

-- Why Love Them? from Bulletproof 22/23 for Jubileen, Inuyasha, Sesshomaru & Rin, Man Who Hates World Adopts a Small Child 8. "It’s only after Empress Fuca sends away Erqing and Mingyu that she starts, at least in Yingluo’s eyes, to look tired."

-- In Quiet from Bulletproof 22/23 for freefan1412, The Story of Yanxi Palace, Fuca Rongyin & Wei Yingluo, washing blood out of someone's hair 9. "Lan Qiren, as a general rule, does not like the parties hosted at Nightless City."

-- wake up a little crueler from Fic In A Box 2022 for Nemainofthewater, LQR/WRH, pre-canon party at Nightless City 10. "The night is still young when Song Shuangran fails to arrive for their meeting at the Jade Sparrow."

-- to kill the hound after it has caught the rabbit from Fic In A Box 2022 for Shadaras, OW, OMC/OMC, Historical Fantasy China, Imperial Minister/Teahouse Musician

I think based on this roundup, I like to start with a shorter semi-pithy sentence that sets the stage about what's going to come, reveals a main character, or instigates a problem. What this has also taught me is that I have waaaay too many fics and also created like 20+ birthday bash works this year and that might be a bit overboard lol. Also I write a lot of exchange gifts.

Tagging @shadaras, @jubeelee, @jasontoddiefor, @allthelittlecreepycrawlies and anyone else who wants to play this game! It was fun!

[arnold-layne]

my writing stats 2023

nobody asked for this, but i'm doing it anyway, because i kept the tracker the whole fucking year and i might as well get something out of it

Total: 58000 words (i didn't do it on purpose i promise) Goal: 72800 words (200 words a day)

By month January: 5611 February: 7791 March: 1168 (i just started dating my bf and we had other business to occupy ourselves with) April: 3460 May: 5126 (nice wc considering i had exams for like half the month) June: 6468 (again nice, because exams and thesis presentation) July: 6609 August: 7240 September: 8169 (the most productive. i still had a will to live) October: 5883 November: 475 (depression kicking in yea) December: 0 (depression intensifies)

By days of the week: Monday: 7252 Tuesday: 7191 Wednesday: 6353 Thursday: 10586 (had little homework that day) Friday: 6603 Saturday: 7753 Sunday: 12262 (self-explanatory)

Stories posted: in darkness shall you be reborn: 7 new chapters as we were falling: 9 chapters the weavers: 3 chapters bulletproof bandits by @glamourizedcocaine: idk but there were like 7k words

can't name exact word counts for all the works but i sure know most of it were the weavers, then as we were falling, then in darkness shall you be reborn, then bulletproof bandits

overall: i didn't hit my goal, but i'm still pretty pleased with my progress. it was a rather productive writing year and i had a lot of fun and only started one new story, which is remarkable

i used this tracker, but i can't find the original post with its creator :(

[a-table-of-fics]

The Man from Utah, Chapter 7, Draft 1, Part 5

Climbing down wasn’t an issue, especially since they were in no hurry. They found a large rock over by the obliterated truck. The fires still blazed, white flickering against the grey of the barren ground and gleaming against the metal of the truck.

Liam looked from side to side, once again seeing nothing but an empty horizon, although now there was a canyon several miles ahead. Given there was nothing to look at, he looked to Fletcher, whose crossed face didn’t move from his briefcase.

“So,” Liam said, “ObduraCorp, huh? Can’t say I heard of them.”

“Not hard to imagine,” Fletcher scoffed. “The guy who drove straight into bandit territory wouldn’t know about us.”

Liam was about to say something, but stopped, instead shifting his seat and looking at the nondescript ground.

“You’re right,” he said. “I should’ve guessed they were there, with the way Nevada is.”

“We must remain ever vigilant,” Dan said, nodding from behind. “We were able to fend these ne’er-do-wells off, and likely could do so again, but they only need to claim victory once.”

A silence fell over the group. The flames behind them silently made their shadows dance towards the horizon.

“We make armor of all kinds,” Fletcher finally said. “Nothing like Dan’s collection of scrap. Admittedly strong armor, mind you!”

He shrunk a little, hearing the low rumble from Dan.

“A-anyway, we make helmets, bulletproof vests, riot shields, steel-toed boots, you name it!”

Liam’s gaze shifted back to the metal briefcase Fletcher was so protective of.

“So, is that a new product or something?”

“Even if I wanted to tell you,” Fletcher replied, hand once again over the latch, “I couldn’t. I’m not supposed to look into the deliveries.”

“That’s fair,” Liam nodded. “Do you at least have any cool client stories while we wait?”

“Not… really. I’m an accountant.”

Fletcher drummed his fingers for a moment.

“A damn good one, don’t you get it wrong.”

Liam nodded, figuring it’d be best if he didn’t ask why an accountant was playing delivery boy, or how he became such a marksman for that matter. Nevada was already weird enough, and Fletcher was at least getting them further east, hopefully. Looking a gift horse in the mouth would probably be a bad idea.