#bulk rucksack bags

[bagsuppliers]

Top Qualities in Rucksacks

For camping or hiking, a rucksack offers the perfect balance of comfort, storage, and durability, making your trip seamless.

[youronlybean]

🕸️🎃🕸️Trick or treat?🕸️🎃🕸️

An excerpt from an unfinished PR1 camping one shot, in which Shubble, Jeremy, Platy, Ze and Vik would eventually go ghost hunting in the woods. Didn’t quite get to that part lol but here’s what I wrote

[driving scene, Vik, Ozza, Platy and Tay in one car. Vik and Platy are singing obnoxiously. Tay is sleeping, Ozza is driving and swearing at them]

Vik tumbles out of the car, gracefully landing on one foot before he loses his balance and flops into the mud below. He hears several people chuckle at his clumsiness but a lot of the others are busy hauling their things from the trucks to the site.

[description of scenery, everyone is fumbling with their bags and such, Chilled drops and smashes a plate and stay berates him]

Vik stands up, cleans the bulk of the mud off his jacket and sticks a feisty middle finger up in Ozza’s direction, since he had been laughing the loudest. Ozza blows a raspberry back at him and wanders off into the forest with three different heavy looking rucksacks slung over his shoulders. Vik sighs and grabs the rest of the gear from Ozza’s trunk, holding a bag of marshmallows between his teeth. He elbows the trunk shut and scurries off to follow Ozza and the rest of the gang.

It’s a taxing walk from the car park to the campsite, but luckily it’s hard to miss. There’s a well-trodden path through the dense clumping of evergreen trees that leads him directly to a clearing in the woods, where people have begun to dump their stuff.

“I’m cold.”

“Suck it up,” Kara snaps, whipping around from where she’s glaring at a set of instructions for setting up a tent. Chilled, taken slightly aback by the sharpness of her tone, promptly sucks it up.

“Make yourself useful and come get firewood with me,” Skadj declares, gesturing further out to the woods. Vik quickly decides that if he had to pick one person to go into the woods alone with, Chilled would be his absolute last choice.

“‘Kay,” Chilled hums gloomily. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Chilled to even come on the camping trip since Chiled was basically allergic to fresh air, but Shubble had promised she’d come so he kind of had to.

Vik figures that he ought to do something so as not to get yelled at by Kara and kneels down in the dirt where Ze is fumbling around with a bunch of metal poles.

“Fuck off, Vikram,” he mutters. “I’m doing this myself.”

Vik frowns, raises an eyebrow at Jeremy who’s spectating with the sort of look on his face he might give his misbehaving cats.

“Ze, buddy, I love you,” Jeremy begins, speaking in a tone that perfect matches his face. “But you cannot possibly assemble the entire tent by yourself.”

“Stop doubting me,” Ze orders, only to have the large pole he’s trying to put together flop into the many metal pieces attached by elastic it came in. Ze gives the pole a seething look. “Fuck you.”

[tourmyholidayholiday]

Top Things to Pack for Your Chopta Adventure – A Traveler’s Checklist

Chopta, often known as the “Mini Switzerland of India,” is a beautiful destination in Uttarakhand, known for its scenic trekking trails, dense forests, and serene meadows. If you’re planning a trip to Chopta, packing wisely is essential due to its varying weather conditions and rugged terrain. Whether you’re trekking to Tungnath, camping by Deoria Tal, or simply enjoying the peaceful surroundings, having the right gear can make a big difference. Here’s a comprehensive packing checklist to ensure you have a safe, comfortable, and enjoyable adventure in Chopta Tour.

1. Clothing Essentials

The weather in Chopta can be unpredictable, with chilly mornings and evenings, even in summer. Packing the right clothes is crucial to keep you comfortable during your trip.

Layered Clothing

Thermal Wear: Essential, especially if you’re visiting during winter (October to February). Thermals provide an insulating layer without adding bulk.

T-shirts (Full and Half-Sleeved): Opt for quick-dry, moisture-wicking fabrics. Layering is key in the mountains, so bring a mix of full and half-sleeved T-shirts.

Fleece Jacket/Sweater: A lightweight fleece jacket or sweater helps you stay warm without being too heavy.

Down Jacket: If you’re visiting in winter, a down jacket will protect you from the biting cold, especially during early morning treks and nighttime camping.

Waterproof Windcheater/Jacket: A waterproof jacket is essential, as sudden rain showers are common in the hills. Look for one with a hood to protect yourself from rain and wind.

Bottoms

Trekking Pants: Comfortable, stretchable trekking pants are a must. They are more practical than jeans for treks and nature walks.

Warm Pants: For the evenings and nighttime, especially if you’re camping.

Thermal Leggings: Perfect for wearing under your trekking pants or during the night when temperatures drop.

Head and Hand Gear

Woolen Cap/Beanie: To keep your head warm in the cold.

Sun Hat/Cap: For daytime treks to protect yourself from the sun.

Gloves: Woolen gloves for winter and lightweight gloves for autumn and spring treks.

2. Footwear

Your choice of footwear can make or break your Chopta adventure, as you’ll likely be trekking and exploring uneven terrains.

Trekking Shoes: Sturdy, waterproof trekking shoes with good grip are essential for navigating rocky and sometimes slippery trails.

Comfortable Sandals/Flip-Flops: For use around the campsite or guesthouse after a long day of trekking.

Woolen Socks: Keep your feet warm during cold nights. Carry extra pairs in case they get wet.

Quick-Dry Socks: Essential for treks to prevent blisters and maintain foot hygiene.

3. Backpack and Daypack

Rucksack/Backpack (40-60 liters): A spacious, lightweight backpack with multiple compartments is ideal for carrying your essentials. Make sure it has padded straps and a hip belt for better support.

Daypack (15-20 liters): Useful for short treks, carrying water bottles, snacks, a camera, and other essentials.

4. Camping Gear (If Not Provided by Your Package)

If your travel package doesn’t include camping gear, consider bringing the following items:

Sleeping Bag: A compact, lightweight sleeping bag rated for cold weather is essential if you plan to camp in Chopta’s meadows.

Sleeping Mat: For added comfort and insulation from the cold ground.

Tent: If you’re trekking with a group and plan on setting up camp, carry a lightweight, easy-to-pitch tent.

5. Trekking Essentials

Trekking Poles: These provide stability and reduce the strain on your knees, especially during steep descents.

Headlamp/Flashlight: A must for camping and trekking in low light conditions. Opt for a headlamp to keep your hands free.

Reusable Water Bottle: Hydration is key when trekking at high altitudes. Consider a lightweight, reusable water bottle or hydration bladder.

Energy Snacks: Pack lightweight, high-energy snacks like nuts, dried fruits, energy bars, and chocolates for a quick boost during your trek.

Sunglasses: Essential for protecting your eyes from harsh sunlight, especially at higher altitudes.

Sunscreen: Choose a high SPF sunscreen to protect your skin from UV rays, as the sun can be quite strong at altitude.

Lip Balm: To prevent chapped lips caused by the cold and wind.

Multi-Tool/Swiss Knife: Handy for small tasks around the campsite.

6. Toiletries and Personal Care

Toilet Paper: Essential, as it might not be readily available in remote areas.

Hand Sanitizer: For maintaining hygiene when soap and water are not available.

Wet Wipes: Useful for freshening up when showers aren’t an option.

Biodegradable Soap/Shampoo: Choose eco-friendly products to minimize environmental impact.

Toothbrush and Toothpaste: In travel-friendly sizes.

7. Health and Safety Essentials

First Aid Kit: Include band-aids, antiseptic wipes, cotton, gauze, adhesive tape, pain relievers, anti-inflammatory tablets, and any personal medication.

Personal Medications: Carry enough of your prescription medications, and bring extras in case of delays.

Anti-Nausea Medicine: Helpful for those prone to motion sickness during the drive to Chopta.

Insect Repellent: To keep bugs and mosquitoes at bay, especially during forest treks.

Electrolyte Packets: For hydration and to combat fatigue during long treks.

Altitude Sickness Medication: Although Chopta is at a relatively lower altitude compared to some Himalayan treks, it's wise to be prepared if you plan to ascend further.

8. Tech and Gadgets

Camera: To capture the stunning landscapes of Chopta. Don’t forget extra batteries and memory cards.

Power Bank: Essential for keeping your phone and other electronic devices charged, especially in remote areas where power supply may be unreliable.

Travel Adapters: If you’re bringing electronic devices, ensure you have the right adapters for charging.

9. Travel Documents and Money

Identification: Carry valid ID proof, like an Aadhar card or passport, as you may need to show it at various checkpoints or while checking in to accommodations.

Travel Permits: If visiting protected areas around Chopta, check if you need any permits.

Cash: ATMs are scarce in remote areas, so carry enough cash for small expenses like snacks, local guide fees, or souvenirs.

10. Miscellaneous Items

Plastic Bags: To separate wet or dirty clothes from the rest of your luggage.

Notebook and Pen: For journaling your adventure or noting down important information.

Lightweight Towel: Quick-dry towels are ideal for travel.

Small Sewing Kit: For emergency repairs to clothing or gear.

Packing Tips

Pack Light: Only bring what you need. Chopta's terrain is rugged, and carrying unnecessary items will only slow you down.

Use Waterproof Bags: Pack your clothes and electronics in waterproof bags or zip-lock pouches to protect them from rain or snow.

Roll Clothes: Rolling clothes instead of folding them can save space and prevent wrinkles.

Conclusion

Packing thoughtfully for your Chopta adventure is crucial to ensure a comfortable and hassle-free experience. By covering all the essentials—from clothing suited for the mountain climate to trekking gear and personal care items—you’ll be well-prepared to enjoy everything this Himalayan gem has to offer. With the right gear in your backpack, you can focus on exploring Chopta’s stunning landscapes, majestic peaks, and tranquil meadows to the fullest!

[indiancorporategift]

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[mmacleanfilm]

Production Design Preparation :)

This is most likely the main bulk of my work in production: design the set, find costumes for characters and props that are important for the plot.

The first step was to assess our filming location. Luckily this is Ariel and Luca’s flat so it meant I had ample time to do so. I went over recently to help sit in for blocking tests for the shot plan and whilst I was there I took some pictures of the living room space and Luca’s bedroom (both our interior filming locations).

The Living Room Picture and respective notes:

(end of notes in relation to the large white wall in the living room) 

The bedroom pictures: 

This was really useful when planning what was needed to fill these spaces and likewise what to take out from them. 

I came to a general idea of what I wanted to do:

For the living room, we want to include a bookshelf in the back with things upon it - plants, a radio etc, get a carpet for the ground, a table with empty cans and plates scattered upon it. We really want the setting to embody the Dad’s solitude and unhealthy living - cooped away almost.

For Ari’s room we wanted to reduce the amount of branded products that were already in the room but keep a similar vibe. I planned to bring some dumbbell weights, move some of Luca’s personal pictures and replace them with others, and make the room cluttered and reflect that Ari would spend a lot of time in there rather than in the rest of the house. 

Prop wise: I needed to find some important things such as Ari’s rucksack that he brings to the basketball court. 

Props brought from home:

I decided that as we were on a tighter budget for the film considering it is a three person crew I would draw upon things available to me. Most namely my parents house! 

I returned home one week and managed to collect the following (as well as also saying hello to my parents and the cat) 

(bookshelf: sent in proportion to me so Luca could see how tall it was)

(my sisters carpet that she very kindly lent to the production)

(some coins for Ari’s Dad to throw at Ari)

(My mum’s radio - love the colour and style!)

(A choice for Ari’s bag - we went with the retro deuter one - it looks cool and will add a bit more contrast to the outside scenes)

It ended up like this:

I was very happy with the result and felt like the planning played off nicely to what we wanted to achieve.

My only issue was with the large white wall in the living room but this couldn’t be covered by wallpaper (my earlier idea) as it would have been too expensive. I think moving the pictures and adding the bookshelf created some depth in place.

Costume:

I was in constant coordination with Luca and our actors William (Ari), Alan (Ari’s Dad) and Oscar (Oscar) about costume:

This was the plan for the costumes/outfits our characters would wear:

We ended up finding clothes that the actors already had that fit the aesthetic of the film and saved us spending vast amounts of the budget. The only thing we bought was the grey hoodie that William wore. 

It ended up like this:

This whole production design process was really valuable! 

I have really enjoyed seeing the planning come to fruition.

[roman-writing]

bring home a haunting (6/12)

Fandom: The Haunting of Bly Manor

Pairing: Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor

Rating: M

Wordcount: 33,876

Summary: Dani almost has her life together, when a familiar face arrives back in town after ten years. A childhood friends AU written with @youngbloodbuzz

read it below or read it on AO3 here

On Friday night, Jamie showed up at the O'Mara's doorstep with a rucksack over her shoulder like some sort of vagabond from television.

"Hey," she said.

Dani smiled, holding the door open. "Hi. Is that everything? Or do you need help bringing stuff in?"

"Nope. This is it," Jamie said, shrugging at the bag’s weight and looking bored.

"Is that her?" Dani heard a voice behind her and suddenly Carson was at her elbow. He grabbed Jamie by the hand and hauled her bodily inside. "C'mon!" he said excitedly, not waiting for her to take off her shoes in the entryway. "You're going to be staying in my room! I've made up an inflatable mattress and everything!"

Jamie shot Dani a plaintive look over her shoulder, but there was little Dani could do except grin and shrug. She closed the front door and trailed after them, Carson leading Jamie towards the stairs.

"Hold up, mate. Hold up," Jamie muttered. She tugged her arm free and Carson's face fell until she said, "Your mum will flay me alive if I tread dirt all through the carpet."

"I would do no such thing," Judy said from the kitchen.

Jamie ducked her head and gave a sheepish wave into the kitchen. "Hello, Mrs. O'Mara. Thank you for having me."

"Not a problem, honey," Judy said, sounding absent-minded as she continued stirring a large pot on the stove. "Make yourself comfortable. But — yes. Shoes off, please."

Jamie gave Carson a nudge and muttered, "Told you."

"Sorry," Carson mumbled. He waited just long enough for Jamie to toe off her boots until he seized her arm again and began the process anew. "Okay! This way!"

Sighing, Jamie let herself be dragged off up the stairs. Dani trailed slowly behind, pausing in the entryway to the kitchen and peering inside. "Do you need any help?"

Judy did not even glance up. She only turned and began arranging various ingredients on the counter to be chopped for the upcoming dinner. "No, sweetie. I'm good here. Go make sure everyone gets unpacked for me, okay?"

"Okay."

Dani didn't need much encouragement. She raced after the others and was out of breath by the time she reached the top of the stairs.

"Woah!" Tommy raised his hands when they almost crashed into one another at the top of the landing. "Don't wheeze all over me, or Eddie will think it's my fault you're dying."

Rolling her eyes, Dani slipped past him with a mumbled, "Excuse me."

Tommy trotted down the stairs without another word, already calling out for David in the garage and receiving a yell from Mike to not shout in the house — a request which was promptly ignored as David called out in return. Dani ignored them and continued along the hall leading to Carson's room. She passed Eddie's on the way. His door was ajar, but there was a piece of paper painstakingly scrawled in some alien language which probably contained secret words to keep pesky siblings out. Elvish, he'd told her numerous times to no avail. It's an Elvish riddle.

At the very end of the hall, the door leading to Carson's room — the smallest in the house — was wide open. Dani poked her head in, knocking lightly at the open door despite her blanket invitation to enter whenever she so pleased. Inside, Carson was sitting on the corner of his bed, bouncing up and down on the mattress, wholly unable to contain his excitement, while Jamie stood in the middle of the room still clutching her rucksack and looking utterly lost. True to his word, there was an inflatable camp bed carefully laid out on the floor and sheathed in a fitted sheet, complete with a pillow and duvet.

"Sorry for how small it is," Carson said, and his every second word was punctuated by a squeak of complaint from his thin mattress. "But mom said you couldn't stay in the older boys' rooms."

"S'fine," Jamie said.

Her hand was gripping the straps of her rucksack so tightly that her knuckles were white.

Dani noticed. "Hey, Carson," she said brightly. "Can you go get a towel for Jamie to use? She'll need her own for a shower while she's staying over here."

"Yeah! Sure!" Immediately Carson leapt to his feet and scampered down the hallway, his footsteps stamping down the stairs to where Dani knew the linen closet was on the ground floor.

Aiming a soft smile at Jamie, Dani nudged the door slightly shut behind her. It wasn't much, but it was enough. It shielded them from the bulk of the noise that was ubiquitous in the O'Mara house. "How are you?" she asked.

Jamie shrugged. "M'Fine. Good," she said, but her grip was firm and her accent was thick even around the various monosyllables she managed through her tightly held jaw.

"When's Nan coming back?"

Drawing a deep breath, Jamie said, "Two weeks."

"Like no time at all," said Dani. "Soon you'll be complaining that she's back and that you wish she'd stayed away."

That earned a laugh, brief and strained though it was. Jamie's eyes were darting around the room, taking inventory of the exits available to her — door, window, another window down the hall in the bathroom.

“Did she tell you why she was going back?” Dani asked in an attempt to keep Jamie’s attention on her, on the conversation, on anything but the big house that wasn’t hers.

Jamie shook her head. “Just said she needed to -” she waved her hand in a sharp dismissive gesture “- take care of things. Family stuff. I dunno.”

The total sum of what Dani knew about Jamie’s family back in England could have filled a thimble. She took a step closer and Jamie shifted her weight between her feet as though preparing to run at the slightest provocation.

"Sorry it's so loud," Dani murmured, keeping her voice low. "I know it can take a while to get used to."

Jamie blinked owlishly at her. "I don't mind loud."

"Nan's not loud."

"Maybe not when you're around. But with me? She hollers like you wouldn't believe."

Another step, careful not to tread on the corner of the duvet sprawled across the floor. "You know," said Dani slowly. "I live just across the street. Not like clear across town from your house."

"Only good part about this plan," Jamie muttered under her breath.

Dani stopped when she was only a pace away, close enough that she could reach out and gently urge the pack from Jamie's tense shoulder. "Do you wish you'd gone to England with her?" she asked.

Somewhere downstairs there was a crash, a yell, Carson calling out his apologies and being thoroughly rebuked by David. Jamie winced, but tried to hide it with a twitch of her head. Swallowing thickly, looking anywhere but at her, Jamie allowed the rucksack to be pried from her death grip and lowered to the floor.

"Not really," Jamie said. "Wish I could've stayed at your house instead, maybe. Quieter."

Dani's smile faltered. "I did ask, but -"

"- Your mum's proper mental," Jamie finished for her with a weak smile. "Yeah. I know."

Of all the empty rooms in her house, Dani couldn't think of a single one Jamie would fit into without seeming out of place. Every time Jamie stepped foot inside, the house seemed to draw its breath in dreadful anticipation. Or perhaps that was the narrowing of Karen's eyes as she followed Jamie's every movement with furrowed suspicion.

“You wouldn’t have liked it,” Dani said. “Staying with me.”

Jamie looked at her with a curious expression. “Why not? You’re there.”

Dani opened her mouth to respond, but the words got trapped halfway to her tongue. She was saved by Carson’s enthusiastic return, the sound of his running footsteps preceding him until the door burst fully open once more.

“I got two!” he said, slightly out of breath, and he held out two matching towels to Jamie. “Here you go.”

Wooden, Jamie took the towels. “Thanks.”

“Mom said dinner will be ready in about an hour,” said Carson, completely oblivious to the way Jamie stood, back too straight, shoulders too rigid. “Do you want to go mess with Eddie?”

A smile twitched on Jamie’s face, but was gone in an instant. “Tempting.”

“Hey, let’s let Jamie unpack, okay?” Dani said. Draping an arm around Carson’s shoulders, she led him from the room.

“But she doesn’t even have that much stuff!” Carson complained even as he let himself be guided away.

“I know,” Dani said, lowering her voice. “But you need to give her some space, bud.”

Carson scrunched up his nose. “Fine,” he sighed, then pushed Dani’s arm off. “I’m going to go bug Eddie myself, then.”

As he rushed off down the hall and kicked open the door to Eddie’s room, Dani bit back a laugh, hearing Eddie’s voice rise in complaint.

“Get out of here, Carson!”

“Put down your book. Nobody cares about your dumb fantasy riddles.”

“Hey! Let go! Hey!”

Dani caught a glimpse of the tussle inside Eddie’s room as she passed. Carson had grown enough over the last year that he was just about Dani’s height. Large enough that he was giving Eddie a run for his money. Shaking her head, she continued towards the stairs but paused, hand on the railing.

Down the long hallway, Jamie was framed by the doorway to Carson’s room. She was standing stock-still and shell-shocked, holding the towels as though they were a shield. As if she could feel Dani's gaze upon her, Jamie looked over and met her eye. Dani gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile, but Jamie merely blinked at her and lifted one hand in a blank-faced wave. Stifling down the urge to rejoin her in Carson’s room — close the door, shut themselves away for a bit, do something — Dani descended down the steps.

In the kitchen, Judy was chopping carrots. “Hey, sweet pea,” she said in a distracted manner when Dani wandered into the room. “How’re they going up there?”

“Fine,” Dani lied. Then after a moment she added, “I don’t think Jamie’s used to being alone.”

“Think it’s quite the opposite, actually,” Judy said under her breath. When Dani gave her an odd look, she just smiled and set down the knife. “Here.” She pushed a bag of potatoes across the counter towards Dani. “Why don’t you peel some of these for me?”

Grateful for something to do other than anxiously wring her hands together, Dani grabbed a big metal bowl and fished around in a drawer for the peeler. She carefully watched Judy move around the kitchen, mentally noting what she did and how. Every once in a while, she would be brave enough to ask about the recipe, and Judy would answer without hesitation, as if cooking a fully fledged meal was something normal and not something that one only ever experienced when away from home.

At some point Mike came into the kitchen from the garage to wash his hands in the sink. He gave his wife a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing a beer from the fridge and sitting at a barstool across the counter. Dani would instinctively check every time he sipped at his beer, even though she knew he never had more than one or two a night. He nursed his drinks in a way she never saw at home. When asked or addressed directly, he would give an occasional answer. Otherwise, he lingered there for nothing than the quiet presence of their company.

Dani was just finishing up with the bag of spuds, aiming their peels into the metal bowl, when she saw Jamie sidle into the kitchen. She was uncharacteristically furtive as she took the barstool furthest from Mike, sitting on her hands to minimise her usual fidgeting even as her leg bobbed up and down and up and down in an agitated rhythm.

“Are you thirsty?” asked Mike. “We have juice in the fridge.”

Jamie nodded brusquely. “Juice is good. Thanks.”

Without needing to be asked, Dani immediately pulled out the carton of juice from the refrigerator and poured a glass. Behind her, Judy took the peeled potatoes and gave them to Mike for cutting into quarters. He rose from his seat and took the knife handed to him without complaint.

With a smile Judy leaned forward and said, “So, I understand Ruth’s gone back to Scotland. I just love Scotland.”

Frowning and picking up her glass of juice for a sip, Jamie said, “She went to Burnley.”

Judy seemed not to have heard, for she sighed wistfully, “I remember when Mike and I went to Scotland back in ‘68. We have pictures! Mike, get the pictures.”

Dutiful to a fault, Mike set down the knife and wandered off to a bookshelf in the living room. Meanwhile, Jamie said, “Burnley, Mrs. O’Mara. As in Burnley, Lancashire. As in England.”

But Mike was walking back with a photo album in hand, and Judy was gesturing for it with grabby motions. Sitting on the barstool directly beside Jamie, she opened the album and scooted closer to Jamie. “And here we are at Ben Nevis,” Judy pointed. “Would you just look at that scenery? Gosh.”

Jamie made a wordless humming noise behind her teeth, and Dani could see her trying desperately to not fidget while Judy continued flipping through the album, pointing out various pictures and places that Jamie had probably never visited in her life. Dani rounded the counter so she could peer over the top of Jamie’s head at the pictures, resting a hand on Jamie’s shoulder as she did so. Jamie glanced back at her briefly and mouthed, ‘Save me.’ Dani grimaced and shrugged apologetically.

“The Scottish Highlands really are the most beautiful place in the world,” Judy said, running her hands along a photograph of vast hills of heath and stone beneath a cloudy sky. “I’m so amazed your grandmother used to live there. I would’ve loved to have lived there.”

“She was from the Lowlands,” Jamie pointed out dully.

“Does her family have their own tartan?” Judy asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Jamie had spoken at all.

“I don’t know, Mrs. O’Mara. She doesn’t talk about her time in Scotland much. And I’ve never been.”

“Does she still have family living there?” Then Judy gave a little gasp and warmly grasped Jamie’s wrist. “You could go visit one day!”

Beneath Dani’s hand, Jamie’s shoulder went tense. From this angle, Dani couldn’t see the expression on her face, but Jamie’s voice was tight when she said, “Excuse me. I need to use the loo.”

Scrape of the barstool against the floor — squeal of wood and tile — and Jamie stalked out of the kitchen, her shadow extending down the hallway behind her even as she had gone out of sight. Dani gazed after her, chewing at her lower lip.

“Oh, boy,” Mike said, shaking his head. He stirred a boiling pot on the stove with a long wooden spoon.

With a sigh, Judy shut the photo album. “I’ve never seen that girl so reserved.” She gave Dani a fond teasing nudge to her shoulder. “You must be rubbing off on her.”

Dani couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. She much preferred the Jamie full of carefree raucous energy in comparison to — whatever this version was. The Jamie she knew wasn’t scared and silent. The Jamie she knew picked fights with people twice her size. The Jamie she knew had a loud and easy laugh. The Jamie she knew was confident and comfortable in her own skin. The Jamie she knew was none of the things Dani would ever use to describe herself.

Clearing her throat, Dani made a motion towards the hallway even as she edged towards it. “I’ll just -” But neither of the adults in the room were listening much. Judy had wandered back to the stove and was engaged in murmuring conversation with her husband. Dani took the opportunity to slip away, unseen.

The hallway was dark and empty. The door leading to the garage at the far end of the corridor was shut, behind it the sounds of muted music and laughter. Overhead, Dani could hear the stamp of feet accompanied by Eddie and Carson’s bickering. She walked along the corridor, letting her hand trail against the painted wall. She paused at the door leading to the basement, but a quick check inside proved that the stairwell leading further down into the ground was pitch black. Just as she was shutting the door, Dani heard a faint choked sound.

Passing by the linen closet, Dani stopped before the door to the downstairs bathroom. She tested the handle only to find it locked. Tentatively, Dani lifted her fist and knocked on the door.

Silence followed. Then the sound of a toilet flushing. A few moments later, the door opened and Jamie stood there, scowling. “I was actually going to the bathroom, you know.”

Dani lifted an eyebrow. “No, you weren’t.”

“How the hell d’you know?” Jamie asked.

Gesturing over Jamie’s shoulder towards the sink, Dani said, “You didn’t wash your hands.”

“Maybe I’m just a dirty pig, then.”

Dani shot her an exasperated look. “You’re not. You always wash your hands.”

Jamie’s voice sounded sharp when she spoke. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re -” she cut herself off.

Dani's brow furrowed in confusion. “That I’m what?”

“Nosy,” Jamie snapped.

Taken aback, Dani blinked. She stared at Jamie, whose hands were curled into fists at her sides, lips pursed so that the scar stood out white against her skin, the muscles of her jaw bunched up and straining even while she refused to meet Dani’s gaze.

“Do you -” Dani started to say, hesitant. “- want me to leave you alone?”

Jamie glowered at a spot on the floor but did not answer. Her shoulders were tense beneath the oversized flannel she wore, the top few buttons undone to reveal the coin necklace Dani had given her at Christmas two years ago. Dani turned to leave, to walk back to the kitchen and let Jamie gather up the pieces of herself in peace, but Jamie’s hand darted out, grabbing Dani’s and holding tight. Jamie still wouldn’t look at her, but her fingers trembled. Her palms were cold and damp.

“Sorry,” Jamie mumbled. “Sorry. Being stupid. It’s - It’s stupid.”

“It’s not.” said Dani. “It’s just two weeks. She’ll be back.”

Jamie nodded, the movement small and jerky, but she appeared entirely unconvinced. “Yeah,” she rasped. “Yeah. Sure. Two weeks.”

“And I’ll be here.” Dani readjusted their hands so that their fingers laced together, and she stroked her thumb across the back of Jamie’s hand. “I’ll be right here.”

The hallway around the downstairs bathroom was dark and a soft shadow was cast over Jamie’s face. Her eyes were dark, searching Dani’s face with tiny flickers of movement, as if looking for any hint of deceit. “Promise?” she breathed.

Dani smiled softly and squeezed Jamie’s hand. “Promise.”

They stood close enough that Dani could see the fine downy hair at Jamie’s temples and without thinking she reached up to brush back a stray curl that had fallen into Jamie’s eyes. Jamie inhaled sharply. There was an odd expression on her face that Dani couldn’t place. Not blank like before in Carson’s room, but just as difficult to parse.

“David! Tommy! I need you to set the table, please!” Judy’s voice called from the kitchen.

In answer, the garage door just down the hall burst open, and the twins barrelled through. Jamie and Dani both jumped apart, Jamie snatching her hand back while Dani tucked a lock of hair behind her own ear. As he jogged by, Tommy reached out to ruffle Jamie’s hair in passing. Jamie scowled and smacked his hand away. He laughed it off and continued after his brother.

“Wanker,” Jamie muttered under her breath, but already her posture was more relaxed. She no longer clenched her jaw like she wanted to snap a steel rod between her back teeth.

“Come on,” Dani laughed. “Let’s go get dinner.”

--

Trailing behind her mother in the botanical gardens, while colorful and beautiful, was not how Dani pictured spending her Saturday afternoon. What was supposed to be a day lazing around with Jamie and the boys had turned into Dani playing dress up at her mother’s whims and being dragged along to some corporate family friendly function.

It was going marginally well for the most part, she thought with relief. She smiled at the right moments, shook hands with her mother’s colleagues with a firm grip the way Nan taught her, she kept fidgeting to a minimum, and above all, she was quiet. Unsure of what to say and when to speak, but eager to make a polite unassuming impression in the belief that afterwards she could go to the O’Mara household and be free of this. She merely lingered behind her mother, her shoulders stiff and her placid smile frozen, as though she were a marionette doll made of porcelain.

Part way through the event, as her mother grew more distracted, laughing with her colleagues, drink in hand, Dani began to wander off. The temptation to stroll the paths lined with greenery and flowers pulled her away until she was far enough to settle into herself, to relax, to take in the beauty of the place as the sun shone overhead and warmed her skin.

She should bring Jamie here, she thought idly to herself. And though Jamie would hotly deny it, Dani knew of her soft spot for plants, her hidden talent for it, having spent much of the summer helping Nan tend to the backyard garden. She’d enjoy the spectacle and quiet, while murmuring criticisms in the same breath.

Further along the path, passing by a plot of vibrant flowers she didn’t recognize, her eyes met Roger’s. He was standing beside his dad who was talking animatedly to a group of coworkers. She had noticed him earlier but kept away, even if he was the only other kid she vaguely knew in attendance. She’d barely spoken two words to him in years, not since that day in the alleyway at school. She couldn’t imagine what she’d say to him now. He was tall and lanky after an unexpected growth spurt last spring. He saw her and raised his hand in a fleeting wave. She offered a faint grin back and a short wave. At the sound of his dad laughing obnoxiously loud, they both grimaced at the same time and turned away.

Dani groaned quietly, wishing Jamie was here to keep her company with her commentary, and hidden knowledge of every single plant and flower that caught Dani’s eye, her tone dry as though she were just making it up and hadn’t spent the past month with her nose stuck in a well worn gardening book.

Eventually, Dani’s path led her straight back to her mom, laughing and seemingly having a good time, but when their eyes met, Dani almost jerked to a stop. Her mother’s expression was hard and her smile tight at the corners. Immediately, a cold sweat spread across Dani’s skin and her stomach clenched. Her mom jerked her head, beckoning Dani over. All but holding her breath, Dani made her way over. When Dani reached her, Karen slipped a hand around her arm, fingers pressing hard and pulling her in close before turning back to her coworker to laugh at a comment, as though nothing was amiss, as if Dani’s heart weren’t suddenly racing and her shoulders weren’t bunching up incrementally.

Dani spent the rest of the event there, racking her brain over what she had missed over the day, of what she could have done wrong to have received such a look, but there were no clues. No other hints that had been somehow misstepped. Just a carry over from a bad week, where Dani had spent as much time as possible away. Away from a house that was a digestive tract. Away from her mom doing the dishes or making drinks with rough, jerky movements, like the objects in hand had offended her. Away from the chain smoking and lingering side eyes as though Dani was one step from being on the receiving end of a sharp-tongued lecture if something was misplaced or misspoken.

By the time the event was over and they were back in the car, the cabin silent from radio or conversation, Dani could feel the tension seeping from her mother in waves. Her hands tight on the wheel and her mouth pursed, not a word uttered about the day. Clenching her teeth until they hurt, Dani rolled down the window just to feel the breeze against her face, soothing against her skin and loose hair, but not enough to relax her fists in her lap and the cramped coil in her stomach, twisting tight like a spring the closer they got to home.

The moment they arrived Dani wasted no time slipping out of the car and into the house with her own keys, hearing her mom following close behind. Pulling off her flats to neatly set aside and starting towards the staircase, Dani had only just managed to dart towards the stairs when her mother finally spoke.

“Danielle, I’d like a word with you, please,” Karen said, stepping into the kitchen without a backwards glance, adding a stern, “Now.”

Holding her fists tight to her sides, Dani swallowed heavily, slowly following her mom’s path into the kitchen to find her peering into the fridge and pulling out a bottle of already opened wine.

“Yes?” Dani said quietly.

Karen didn’t speak. Simply poured herself a glass of wine before pulling out a rumpled pack of cigarettes from her purse. She lit one up with slow, almost leisurely movements that seemed so wrong in contrast with the tightness around her eyes. Flick and snap of a silver lighter, rhythmic as clockwork. Taking her first drag, she looked at Dani, smoke billowing from pursed lips as she sighed and lifted the cigarette once more.

“What am I going to do with you?” Karen said finally, her voice accompanied by a plume of smoke that wreathed her face.

Dani clenched her teeth. Swallowing down words that would make whatever she had done worse, Dani instead said, “What - what did I do?”

“You really have no idea, don’t you?”

Dani's eyes darted away to the ground, going over the last few hours as though her socks might have the answer. “No,” she said, “I - Well, I thought we were having a nice day.”

Her mother scoffed. The sound was so derisive, Dani wanted to stumble barefoot out of the house and into the one across the street where she knew Jamie and the boys would be. Holed up and waiting for her to come back and greet her with bright smiles.

“A nice day?” Karen repeated, her tone incredulous. Dani’s eyes darted up, blinking in confusion. “Danielle, you barely spoke to anyone. You wandered off by yourself. You looked as miserable as ever -”

“I wasn’t,” Dani said, her breathing turning shallow, “I was - I was -”

“Don’t interrupt me.”

Dani’s mouth snapped shut. Her mother exhaled, taking another long drag of her cigarette. Dani held her breath from the suffocating smell and smoke until it dissipated. She pulled her arms tight around her chest, watching her mom rub her forehead.

“I just don’t understand you,” Karen said, strained at the edges, frustration filing the lines of her face, “Why can’t you do anything right? What's wrong with you?”

Dani felt her face flicker with a flinch, and she had to duck her head to hide it. Hide the tremble of her mouth and the burning in her eyes. She bit into her lip to quell the feeling and swallowed hard past the lump in her throat until she was finally able to speak in the unbearably quiet room.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to - I didn't -”

Karen didn’t respond. The room remained suffocatingly silent, though Dani could feel the sting of her eyes, a long, unyielding stare. And then, there was the sound of glass sliding against the marble countertop, her mother picking up her wine. She stepped closer to Dani, no sound from her stockinged feet, until she stood just before her. Dani hunched her shoulders, wanting to back away, but there wasn’t anything behind her to shrink and meld into.

“You aren’t to go anywhere for the rest of this weekend, do you understand?” Karen said. “You are to sit in this house, and do your chores, and think about your behavior.”

Dani stared hard down at the wine glass that dangled loosely in her mom’s grip, wine threatening to spill over the lip. The ashes that scattered to the linoleum floor from her cigarette near Dani’s foot. She clenched her teeth silently before eventually nodding.

Without another word, her mother strode past her. Dani listened carefully to her footsteps as she stood frozen in the kitchen, hearing the soft thud of feet on stairs, traveling through the floor across the ceiling, and eventually, the click of a bedroom door being shut. Dani stood, alone, listening to the sound of her rapid heartbeat. She swallowed down the spark of belligerence in her chest, drowned out by the trembling of her hands and the stutter of her breathing. All hope of escape to the home across the street slowly drained from her. With befuddled disbelief. With weary acceptance. As though this was the only inevitable outcome at the end of a bad week like all the other bad weeks.

Throat tight, heart a clenched fist in her lungs, like moving through a dream — one moment here, one moment there — Dani made her way upstairs. Time passed in snippets. Changing from her sundress into pajamas. Washing the misery from her face in the form of swollen red eyes and splotchy skin with water cold enough to hurt. Curling into bed and sinking into the comforters, her head aching and exhaustion seeping into her bones despite the afternoon sunlight and muted birdsong still slanting through the window.

Her eyes drifted towards her nightstand, towards the walkie talkie Eddie had given her after the novelty had worn off for Carson, but Dani immediately shot the idea down. The walkie talkie was too loud, too exposed, and the house was too silent and too still. She hadn’t heard a noise from her mother since the kitchen, not even when she had crept upstairs to her room.  

She sat up in bed, daring to cross her room and hover her hand over the door handle. Just as quietly as she’d been before, Dani opened her door and peered around the corner of the doorframe to see her mom’s bedroom door still firmly shut. Assured with the minor hope that her mom may have fallen into a midday nap, Dani eased out of her room and downstairs, careful to avoid creaking steps and floorboards.

The kitchen phone, which had once been a creamy off-white, was now a sickly yellow, stained by decades of cigarette smoke. The coiled cord was long enough to reach across the room, and further when Dani pulled the entire phone off the wall with its long translucent and stained cable. Phone in hand, she slipped inside the broom closet in the hallway just outside the kitchen. Leaving the door open a crack to let in just enough light to see, a long strip of golden light that outlined the dust floating in the darkened room, she sank against the back wall with her knees pulled up to her chest and dialed the number she had long since memorized.

It rang just twice before Mike picked up. “Hello, O’Mara residence.”

“Hi, Mr. O’Mara,” Dani said, her voice slightly hoarse. She held her hand against the mouthpiece and cleared her throat before speaking again. “It’s me.”

“Oh, hey bud,” Mike replied, “How was your day?”

“It was really nice,” she lied, “Is Jamie there?”

In the time it took for him to call for Jamie and the crackling sound indicating the handset switching between hands, Dani had sunk further into the wall, pressing her eyes shut.

“Took you bloody long enough,” came Jamie’s voice finally, “You free to come down from your tower yet? I’m going absolutely mad. Tommy and David won’t give it a fucking break, and you’re not gonna believe what Carson dared me to do.”

"Language please, Jamie," Dani could hear Mike sigh in the background, his voice fading as he walked away and left them to it.

"Sorry, Mr. O'Mara," said Jamie, not sounding sorry at all.

Dani chuckled breathlessly, a pressure easing somewhat in her chest. “Hey, um,” she started, her voice quiet, “I’m not sure actually.”

“What d’you mean?” Jamie said. There was a ruffling sound in the background, as though Jamie were settling into her spot and making herself comfortable.

“I mean — “ Dani’s voice cracked. She swallowed hard. “I think I’m - no, I’m - I’m actually grounded.”

Jamie groaned. “Christ, what’s she going on about now? Did you have a strand of hair out of place or something?”

“Something like that,” Dani murmured, the sound of her voice sounding off even to her own ears, a tremble under the words.

The line was quiet for a long moment. “Dani,” Jamie said, her voice taking on a quiet and serious quality. “What happened?”

Dani didn’t respond. Not when she was fighting back the thickness in her throat, feeling her skin pull tight around her knuckles from the grip she had on the handset and biting down hard at her lower lip. When Dani remained silent, there was sound again from the other line, crackling pops and the movement of fabric until there was the soft click of a door being shut.

“Poppins, talk to me,” Jamie said softly.

Once, the nickname had been a joke years ago in the expanse of snow as far as the eye could see, one that Jamie had gleefully revelled in when they returned to school with her endless teasing about Miss Blythe. But then it had stuck, slowly developing into an affectionate term that Dani privately savored underneath her good natured grumbling. Now, Dani had to swallow down a swell of tears at the sound of it.

“It’s just - um. You know. Mom.”

Jamie snorted. “Gathered as much,” she said, “What’d she do?”

“Nothing. Nothing, I’m just — “ Dani pressed the ball of her palm hard to an eye, rubbing away the burning there “ — I’m just really tired.”

“Aye, and I’m Queen Liz,” Jamie said, and her voice went soft again, “Tell me, really. You don’t get this worked up over nothing. I mean, unless you’re the one that’s actually gone mad.”

Dani chuckled again, but her grin slipped away just as easily. “I’m just tired,” she repeated, leaning her head back against the wall, “I’m tired of trying and not being good enough.”

“You are,” Jamie said with conviction Dani wished she could feel a fraction of, “You’re a better sight than any of us, that’s for bloody sure.”

“But, she’s — “ Dani swallowed hard against the ache threatening to burst from her chest, “This entire week, she’s just been — “

“A cunt?” Jamie offered.

“Mean,” Dani said, “She’s been mean, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes. Like if I do it in the wrong way, she’ll — “ She cut herself off.

For all her absences and sharp words, her mother has never laid a hand on Dani. But the feeling of her mom’s hands pressing hard into her skin still burned into her memory with a lance of fear she was wholly unfamiliar with.

Jamie was quiet for a long moment before softly offering, “Do you need me to come over? I can have a go at her, if you’d like?”

“No. Please, don’t.”

“I don’t mind.”

“It’s fine, it’ll - it’ll blow over,” Dani said, “It’s fine. She’s just in a mood.”

The closet door swung open. Dani gasped, nearly jerking out of her skin as she jumped hard, her foot kicking over a broom. She scrambled to keep the phone in hand even as she tangled herself up in the chord to grab the broom and keep it upright. She blinked rapidly up at the sudden bright light cascading into the small room, only to see a shadowed form looming over her. Her eyes adjusted to the light until finally she could see her mom, standing in the doorway, glowering darkly down, the lines of her face deep and shadowed.

“Dani?” Jamie’s said, startled. “Dani, are you okay?”

She couldn’t respond, couldn't speak. Words trapped in her throat. Her hands began to tremble, and she had to look away from her mom’s unblinking gaze, eyes darting towards some spot just behind her, her vision going out of focus as her breath became shallow.

“Dani,” Jamie said again, slowly, knowing. “Is she there?”

Clenching her teeth painfully tight, Dani could only hum affirmatively in response, her head nodding faintly.

“Okay,” Jamie breathed, and then there was the sound of movement again. “Okay, give me ten minutes - fuck! Shit! Ed, move your shit off the floor! Useless fucking -!”

The dial tone cut off Jamie's steady stream of swearing. Heart hammering in her chest, Dani slowly lowered the receiver and replaced it back into the base, the sound of plastic clacking against plastic loud in her ears along with the shallow breaths she took through her nose.

Dani flinched when her mom finally spoke. “Why were you on the phone?" Karen asked, her voice calm.

Any other day, it’d be a simple question and answer. Any other day, Dani would’ve happily replied. Today, Dani couldn’t respond. There were no good options. No matter what she did, answer correctly or remain quiet, she was guilty either way.

“Was it Judy?” Karen said, folding her arms across her chest, leaning against the doorframe. Dani shrunk further against the wall, her hands clutching the phone in a white knuckle grip. “Or was it that Heron woman? Or that wild girl of hers? Jamie.”

Dani remained quiet, vision blurring as tears pooled into her eyes. The ensuing silence was agony until finally, Karen relented with a huff and held out her hand. Without missing a beat, Dani pushed the phone into her mother’s hands.

"Well?" Karen asked. She held open the door and gestured with the phone as if encouraging a dog to make up its mind at the threshold of the backyard. "Are you coming out of there or not?"

It felt like some sort of trap. As though the moment Dani tried to leave, a foot or wire would be waiting to trip her. She sank further back, shaking her head and clutching the base of the broom like a lifeline.

"Suit yourself," Karen sighed, and without another word she swung the door shut once more, leaving Dani trembling in the dark.

Dani jerked hard at the sound, feeling as though the walls could collapse atop her like a house of cards. For a terrifying moment, Dani struggled to breathe at the idea that her mother might bar the door and lock her inside, but all she heard was her own shallow panicked breaths and footsteps stomping away, until eventually there was the unmistakable sound of the front door opening and closing.

Dani curled onto herself, her hands trembling hard against the skin over her legs where she held on tight. Blood rushed through her ears as a slow ember grew in her chest, spreading through her lungs like strangling vines, like mistletoe around the roots of a tree. She pressed a hand hard to her sternum, her fingers digging into her skin through her shirt as though she could rip out the sensation, feeling her heart pounding through skin and bone. Unable to stand the dark anymore, the walls that pressed in closer and closer until she couldn’t suck in enough air to breathe, she stumbled to her feet and pushed her way out, tripping over her own legs to collapse against the opposite wall. She pulled her knees up to her chest, her eyes pressed tightly shut, and sucked in the fresh open air, gasping for breath that hurt with every expansion of her lungs.

Dani didn’t know how long she sat there, desperately settling her breathing, swallowing down the panic. Slowly the world lengthened out again from the single point of struggling for air. She exhaled, the pain dissipating from her lungs. She rested her head back against the wall, eyes opening to the lines of early evening light streaking across the ceiling, lethargically wiping at her cheeks. She pushed to her feet, and moved towards the bathroom for the second time today to wash her face. Brisk sting of water against her heated skin, grounding even as it hurt. After drying her face, she stepped out towards the foyer of the house, the floor cold beneath her feet.

There was an eerie silence now that her mother was gone. It should’ve been a comfort, being away from the sting of aimless anger and disappointment. When she glanced around however, she was eight years old again, and left to fend for herself in an empty, expansive house that felt like a creature that could swallow her whole. Like she could step into a room and find a door leading her to another room. And another and another. The house expanding and collapsing like a cage of ribs with every step she took until she could no longer find the exit.

Upstairs — a muffled thump coming from the second floor. Dani jerked, blinking up at the ceiling. Another thump, louder this time. Swallowing hard, Dani reached towards a stand near the door, pulling out a long, thin black umbrella with a pointy end, and started towards the stairs.

She walked slowly, ears pricked. Flinching at another loud thump, evidently coming from her own room, her frown deepened as she edged towards it, holding up the umbrella in front of her, as though wielding a sword. But when she slowly pushed open her door with her fingertips, her head peeking around the door as it swung open, she lowered the umbrella when she found the room empty, just as she had left it.

Dani stepped further inside, her frown slipping away to a dim sense of concern.

Another loud thump. Dani jumped and spun towards the sound. Her eyes went wide when her gaze landed on her window.

“Jamie!” she hissed, dropping the umbrella to the carpet with a soft thud, and rushed towards the window.

“Fuckin’ finally,” Jamie grunted from where she hung, fingers white as they gripped the window ledge between the small gap where Dani had her window open. Half her body clung to the meager amount of roof just below Dani’s window, her rucksack dangling from her shoulder as her brows furrowed and jaws clenched in concentration, her face red from effort.

Dani ripped the window open with a thud and grabbed at Jamie’s arms to pull her in, grumbling and grunting the entire time. “Are you insane?” Dani said when Jamie was safe enough to pull herself the rest of the way inside Dani’s room.

“Not since I last checked,” Jamie said, breathing hard as she tumbled inside, gripping her rucksack with white knuckles and her eyes wide with a sort of frantic wildness, like she couldn’t believe she’d just scaled the sheer side of a house. Her hair was a tousled mess, frizzy strands dangling in front of her eyes. Dani tisked and reached forward to push them off Jamie’s face with a scowl. Grinning wildly, Jamie dropped her rucksack to the carpet and twisted around to lean towards the window, stretching and shaking out her hands as she craned her head to peer outside with a whistle, “Christ, that took some work.”

Dani pushed past her to lean outside the window, eyes darting around with increasing disbelief. “How did you even get up here?”

“Climbed?”

Dani spun around to give her a look.

Jamie shrugged, wearing an impish grin. “Started with the tree, hopped over to the roof, and shimmied over. Easy as you please,” Jamie said, peeling her shoes off and shoving them under Dani’s bed. “Would’ve tried for that branch right by the window, but the bloody thing was too far to reach.”

Turning again to glance out the window to trace the path Jamie took, Dani felt her stomach plummet and her face blanch at the terrifying distance Jamie would’ve had to cross between the tree and the meager roof. It might as well have been the Grand Canyon. “You could’ve broken your neck!”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” Jamie said, “How else was I supposed to sneak in?”

Dani huffed, crossing her arms. “You could’ve used the front door like a normal person.”

The look Jamie gave her was both amused and dubious. “Oh, sure, and your mum would’ve just let me inside with you grounded and all,” Jamie said, and gestured towards Dani, “And what about you? You know how long I’ve been hanging on out there, banging on the window?”

“That’s what you call sneaking in? She would’ve heard you anyways if she was home.”

Jamie paused. “Wait, she isn’t home?”

“No, doofus,” Dani said, “She left a little while ago.”

Jamie rolled her eyes to the heavens. “Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know that? I was busy dangling from your roof, thank you very much,” Jamie said, and then she was grinning again, her hands tucked into her back pockets, looking far too pleased with herself. “Hey, least I know I can do it now. Next stop: water tower, yeah?”

Dani glowered at her. “No.”

Huffing softly with laughter, Jamie arched an eyebrow and gave her a fond look. It hit Dani like a ton of bricks when the realization struck her, her face slowly falling.

“God,” she groaned, burying her face into her hands, panic settling in, “ Shit . I sound just like her.”

Laughing softly again, Jamie said, “Nah. I reckon you sound just like yourself.”

But Dani couldn’t respond, the image of mother’s glower and the painful grip of her hand pressed hard on her chest. The sound of the closet slamming shut and the ensuing darkness prickling at her skin until her fingers were shaking again as they dug hard into her face.

“Dani?” Jamie said softly.

Hearing her take a careful step closer, Dani curled into her shoulders. “I’m fine,” she mumbled, her throat thick.

Warm fingers grazed the skin of Dani’s wrists, so light that it almost tickled. “Dani,” Jamie said again, slightly firmer this time, more steady. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Dani sucked in a ragged breath and nodded blindly, feeling herself lean forwards. Jamie’s fingers wrapped around Dani’s wrists into a firm, grounding grip. “It’s okay, c’mere.”

There was a gentle tug on her arm, and Dani went easily, sinking into Jamie, burying her face into her shoulder and wrapping her arms around her waist. Jamie pulled her in close, murmuring, “I’ve got you.”

Tears sprung in Dani’s eyes again, sinking further into Jamie. If Jamie noticed her shoulders shaking from the soft hitching gasps Dani was desperately trying to keep quiet, she never said a word. Just held her tight enough until it hurt, the pressure grounding in such a way that slowly, Dani’s tears ebbed away, leaving her breathing heavy, but steadier as the seconds ticked by.

Jamie’s hand rubbed her back in a soothing motion, the pressure of her arms gradually easing. “Better now?” Jamie asked, quiet and gentle.

Swallowing hard, Dani inhaled deeply, breathing in the soft familiar scent of soap the O’Mara’s favored and the faint hint of earth on her worn shirt. Dani nodded, a short up and down jerk of her head, and pulled her face away just enough from Jamie’s shoulder to murmur, “You always give the best hugs.”

Jamie chuckled. “S’what I’m here for,” she said with another brief hard squeeze, and then gently offered, “You wanna talk about it?”

Dani shook her head.

“No problem.”

With Jamie seemingly happy to remain where she was, Dani held on for just a moment longer, savoring the comfort from her best friend, until Jamie said, “Now, don’t take this the wrong way, Poppins, but you weren’t planning on knocking me out cold with an umbrella, right?”

Dani laughed, a pressure valve releasing from her chest, feeling like she could breathe properly again. Jamie chuckled, and murmured, “There we are.”

“I thought you were a burglar or something.”

“A burglar? In North Liberty? Jesus, that’s considered grounds for a life sentence here, inn’it?”

Dani giggled breathlessly. “Something like that,” she murmured. They fell silent again, Jamie’s arms warm and steady around her like an anchor, until finally, Dani broke and said, “Sorry.”

“Don’t,” Jamie said, her voice firm. “Look, I know I’m a twat on the best of days, but you don’t ever have to apologize for something like that, all right?” When Dani didn’t respond, Jamie flicked her on the back of the head. “All right?”

Dani huffed and pinched her side in retaliation, pleased when Jamie twitched. “All right,” she said, finally easing away, her head ducked as she hastily rubbed her cheeks and under her eyes.

“Good,” Jamie said, and when Dani stepped away towards the umbrella, still not looking straight at Jamie, she added, “Sure you’re steady enough to handle that? Haven’t you heard umbrella’s are considered a deadly weapon?”

Dani picked up the aforementioned umbrella and brandished it towards Jamie as though to spear her through the stomach. “Don’t make me use this.”

Holding up her hands in a gesture of peace, Jamie chuckled and smirked, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Rolling her eyes, Dani left her in the room to stumble back downstairs and replace the umbrella in its stand. She stood there and exhaled heavily, pressing her hands again to her eyes to steady herself. When it finally felt like she wasn’t about to collapse into pieces, she made towards the kitchen and went about setting up the kettle on the stove to heat. Taking out the mugs that she and Jamie favored — one patterned with stars, the other with florals — she also reached further back in the cupboard to pull out a hidden old altoid tin that was packed with a ziplock of teabags. A treasure trove she had once scoured from Jamie’s house for times like these when she was over.

Leaning against the counter as she waited for the kettle to boil, her eyes landed on the kitchen phone that lay discarded haphazardly on the counter top. It laid on its side with the handset having fallen off the base, and the translucent cable unplugged and tossed to the floor. Her hand drifted towards her mouth, eyes unseeing as she bit her thumb hard enough to hurt.

The kettle whistled. She jumped, jerking her thumb away from her mouth at the shrill sound, and she rushed to pull the kettle off the stove and turn the burner off with a rough twist of her wrist. She exhaled heavily, steadying her racing heart, and began putting together their tea.

When she arrived back to her room, mugs of tea in hand, she smiled fondly at the sight that greeted her. Jamie had made herself at home, stretching out on her bed with one leg crossed over the other and an arm resting behind her head as she held up Eddie’s walkie talkie to her mouth, making grotesque noises.

“Edmund,” she drawled in a guttural voice, “I’m coming for you, Edmund. I’m gonna eat your eyeballs.”

Dani snorted. “Just because it worked once, doesn’t mean it will again.”

Rolling her eyes, Jamie rested the walkie talkie against her chest. “Worth a shot,” she sighed, and then her eyes brightened when she caught sight of the mugs in Dani’s hand. She sat up, discarding the walkie talkie beside her and made a grabbing motion towards the floral patterned cup, “Oh, you’re a star.”

Easing onto the bed next to Jamie, she handed the mug over and watched eagerly as Jamie’s mouth curled into a pleased grin, her hand fearlessly wrapping the burning hot mug with practised ease. But at the first sip, she froze, going stock still as her brow knitted together.

“Well?” Dani asked.

Lowering the mug from her mouth, Jamie frowned contemplatively down at the steaming beverage with pursed lips, faintly nodding. “It’s a talent you have,” she said, “Truly.”

Dani groaned, easing back against her pillows, raising her own mug — a smattering of silver stars against a dark blue backdrop — to her mouth, taking a careful sip of her own. “Tastes fine to me,” she muttered.

Laughing, Jamie nudged her leg with her knee. “Appreciate the effort though,” she said, “Didn’t even need to ask for any. And it’s the kind from home, too. Nan know you nicked some from her precious stash?”

“Maybe,” Dani mumbled into her mug, but her eyes darted to Jamie all the same at the mention of Nan, looking for any lingering tension of any kind in Jamie’s demeanor. All she found was a reserved quiet as Jamie sipped again at her tea without any complaint, though she wasn’t able to hide her mouth twisting in distaste as she rested her mug on the nightstand.

“I brought some stuff to keep us company,” Jamie said, grabbing her bag from off the floor and hauling it on her lap, digging her arm inside, “Unless you wanna go downstairs and watch something.”

“No,” Dani said immediately, shaking her head, “She could come home any second.”

“You sure? I’m sneakier than a cat,” Jamie said, “There’s plenty of places to hide, besides. She’d never know I’m here.”

Dani shook her head resolutely. “No, I want to stay up here with you.”

Smiling fondly, Jamie relented with a soft, “All right, then.”

She pulled out her transistor radio and switched it on, the sound of electric guitars and drums filing the room. Twisting a knob on top, the rough alternate music that Jamie loved cut off to a jumbled flickering of noise as Jamie sped through stations until landing on one they both enjoyed. It was only by staring at Jamie’s hands did Dani finally notice the inexplicable blue paint on her nails.

“There we are,” Jamie said to the sound of soft rock music, and set the radio on the nightstand next to her tea.

When Jamie settled back against the pillows, Dani grabbed her hand, inspecting the color. “Is this nailpolish?” she asked, incredulous.

Jamie sighed exasperatedly. “Told you. Carson’s fuckin’ fault,” Jamie grumbled, allowing Dani to inspect her nails with fascination, “Bet him he was too scared to paint his nails with Judy’s nailpolish and the cheeky bastard dared me to do it also if he followed through.”

“So —?”

“So, he’s rocking hot pink nails for the foreseeable future.”

Dani laughed, resting her head against Jamie’s shoulder. “I’d kill for a photo of that.”

“I’ll get it for you when I head back,” Jamie said, her mouth twisting into a mischievous smirk, “Blackmail has never sounded so good.”

Huffing with a soft laugh, Dani smacked Jamie’s arm. “You’re a menace.”

Humming softly, her smirk twisting into outright devilish territory, Jamie reached into her bag again and pulled out two books. “Also brought these with me,” she said in a suspiciously light tone. “Thought you might enjoy an evening of fancy entertainment.”

Narrowing her eyes, Dani reached with her free hand to inspect the books, and when she caught a peak of a familiar provocative cover, she yanked her hand back as if it had been scalded, jerking her head from Jamie’s shoulder. “Jamie!” she hissed, shuffling away and resting her mug on the nightstand on the other side of her bed as Jamie laughed loudly, “Why do you still have that?”

“‘Cause I haven’t finished it?” Jamie said, her voice turning up at the end as though she were answering a dumb question. The smile she wore and the glint in her eyes said she was taking great delight in the way Dani’s cheeks heated up. “You saying you aren’t interested? Brought it just for you.”

Dani scowled. “No, I am not interested,” she said, and warily eyed the way Jamie tossed the other, thicker tome on the bed to rapidly flip through the book, the yellowed pages fragile and flimsy in Jamie’s hands.

The book in question was one of those dirty dime paperbacks hidden at the top shelves of gas stations, the cover an artist's depiction of a blonde woman scantily clad in a dark dress on a bed. It was ancient and peeling in places along the edges, and above all, it belonged to David. Just a week before Nan had set off to England, Jamie had proudly and wickedly showed off her prize in her room to Dani, claiming to have found it peeking out from between the mattresses of David’s bed a few days prior. Dani had nearly ran from the room just from the sheer embarrassment of being in the mere presence of it, her face scalding red.

“How has David not killed you yet?”

“Still doesn’t know who nicked it,” Jamie said, and snickered, “Absolutely losing the plot, too. Keeps looking at Judy and Mike like they’ll strike him down any second.”

“Like I said: a menace.”

Jamie winked and smirked, “You love it.” And without warning, just as Dani was fondly shaking her head, Jamie opened the small paperback, muttered, “Now, where was I,” and began to read outloud.

“Jamie,” she groaned, feeling her face burn at the explicit content Jamie was gleefully reciting.

“Oh, hold on. This bit is good,” Jamie said in between breaths of laughter, “She was ready for him, her lips red and wet, her tongue a thing of raging desire —”

Dani smothered Jamie’s mouth with her hand. “Oh, my god, please stop.”

Laughing against her palm, Jamie pushed her hand away. “He almost died in the wonder of her kiss, of her surging body, and as he thru — shit, wait. Gross. Hold on, here’s a better part  —”

“Oh, my god.” Dani rose to her knees, grabbed the pillow from behind her, and pushed it into Jamie’s face. “Shut up .”

Jamie laughed wildly as Dani pushed her down on the bed, smothering her face just enough to make her stop. Dani held one hand down on the pillow as the other stretched for the book. At the graze of their hands, Dani dangerously close to ripping the book from Jamie’s grasp, Jamie yanked the book away from Dani’s reach. The bed shook as Jamie flailed her legs, squirming away, a foot threatening to push Dani off by her stomach. Laughing just as hard as Jamie, her sides twisting into a cramp, Dani pushed Jamie’s legs out of the way to straddle her hips and gain the advantage.

Jamie froze, her laughter cut off as she sucked in a muffled breath.

“Are you done?” Dani said between fits of giggling, her grip firm on the pillow over Jamie’s face.

Jamie was barely breathing, her ribs beneath her t-shirt expanding and shrinking with shallow movement. A spark of concern abruptly lit in Dani’s chest. She ripped the pillow from Jamie’s face, fearing that she’d maybe smothered her, but she was greeted with Jamie blinking up at her with wide eyes. Her face was flushed, her hair a tangled mess across the pillow beneath her, the coin necklace twisted around her neck.

“Did I almost just kill you?” Dani said, just short of panicking as she leaned closer to get a better look.

Her throat bobbing, Jamie’s eyes flashed across over her so fast, she could’ve imagined it. “I’m breathing, aren’t I?” Jamie said, chuckling breathlessly.

“Hardly,” Dani said dryly, sitting upright and folding her arms. “Now, are you done?”

Jamie smirked. “Maybe.”

Dani gave her a look and held out a hand. “Give me the book.”

Jamie rolled her eyes with a sigh so long-suffering that Dani snickered. “Yes ma’am,” Jamie drawled with another smirk, and moved as if to finally hand the book to her, but her hand froze midair with a considering frown that bordered on insolence. “But are you sure, though? Was just getting to my favorite part. Something about grabbing a pair of firm, creamy bre — “

“Ugh,” Dani groaned, ripping the book from Jamie’s grasp to toss across the room with a thud and pressed the pillow back to Jamie’s laughing face.

Pushing up and away from Jamie and the bed, Dani marched to her bookcase and pulled out a random book from a shelf. “Here,” she said, flinging it onto Jamie’s stomach without even looking to see what it was, her cheeks still burning, “An actual real book you can read.”

Jamie at this point had pulled the pillow from her face and sat up, dishevelled and fondly amused as she picked up the book to look it over. She snorted. “Mrs. Dalloway? Really?” she said, arching an eyebrow at Dani. When Dani gave her another biting look, Jamie aimed a wry grin at her as she tossed the book aside to grab the other paperback she had brought, waggling it in Dani’s direction, “I brought a backup, don’t you worry.”

Scowling, Dani dropped heavily back onto the bed without a glance in Jamie’s direction, swiped up Mrs Dalloway from the sheets and promptly buried her nose in its pages. “Your tea is probably cold now,” she muttered, ignoring Jamie’s soft snickers, her skin refusing to cool down.

“And that’s a bad thing?”

Dani elbowed her hard in the ribs, smirking when Jamie grunted at the impact.

They finally settled after that, sinking into the bedding and pillows next to each other, lost in the world of their individual books. Music played softly to keep them company. Knees and feet occasionally knocking together, shoulders pressed up against each other. Her eyes became heavier as she read, the words blurring in and out of darkness as she sunk further into the mattress, easing her head on Jamie’s shoulder. While she couldn’t see her expression from this angle, she could picture Jamie’s eyebrows faintly furrowed in concentration, turning a page every so often, quietly engrossed in her book that Dani’s seen her cart around before: Valley of the Dolls.

“Is yours any good?” Dani asked.

Jamie’s shoulder shrugged under her head. “Suppose so. Unless you find reading about a couple of Hollywood actresses ruining their lives any kind of fun.”

Dani frowned. “Where did you even get it?”

“Came with the house. Found it in a box in the basement,” Jamie said, “It’s a bit barmy to be honest.”

Humming contemplatively, Dani glanced over the words on the page Jamie had open, finding what she saw nonsensical out of context. “Not the first time I’ve seen you read it though.” Jamie chuckled softly, but didn’t respond. “Can I read it when you're done?”

“Not really your kinda book I think,” Jamie said, a finger tapping on the edge of the pages.

Dani rolled her eyes. “Don’t make me smother you again.”

“Fine. You can have it now if you’d like?”

“It’s okay. You can finish first.”

“As you wish,” Jamie said softly.

They fell quiet again. Dani found that she couldn’t concentrate on the words before her, not with Jamie breathing softly beside her, or her curtains ruffling as the warm summer breeze wafted through her open window, or the music that played like white noise in the background. Her head drooped heavier onto Jamie’s shoulder until she finally let her eyes slip shut.

The next time her eyes fluttered open, the room was darker than she last remembered, the evening sun casting sharp streaks of light across her room. She was curled up on her side, facing the wall but she could still feel the warm length of Jamie next to her. Her eyes landed on the jar on her desk labelled ‘Travel Fund’ , and blinked drowsily at the dollar bill she hadn’t seen earlier that day stuffed inside.

Slowly, her head feeling heavy and sluggish still, she turned around and gazed up at Jamie. Expression set with concentration that seemed more like a scowl than anything, Jamie held up the half dollar coin attached to her necklace, rubbing it between the pads of her fingers while the other hand now held open Mrs. Dalloway. She already seemed to be at least twenty pages in and visibly struggling with the prose, but determined to continue. Then Jamie’s eyes flitted down to Dani and her expression softened.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Jamie said.

With a groan, Dani rubbed her dry eyes and turned on her back. “How long was I out?” she asked, her voice rough with sleep.

“Bit over two hours.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Jamie shrugged, resting the book against her legs. “Reckoned you needed the sleep. Had a long day, and all.”

The smile Dani gave her was warm and affectionate, even as her stomach clenched at the reminder of the day's whirlwind of events. Jamie’s throat bobbed, and returned her gaze to the book. “Mind if I borrow this?” At the shake of Dani’s head, Jamie grinned, marking her place with a bookmark before setting the book aside. She visibly hesitated, before she said, “Your mum came home a bit ago, by the way.”

Dani’s stomach sank. “Oh.”

“Hasn’t come to check on you. I blocked the door just in case,” Jamie said with a short gesture to Dani’s bedroom door where clothes hung on a door rack and a chair that normally held clean laundry was propped against the doorknob. “Heard the tv on since she got in, and not a peep since.”

When Dani didn’t respond, didn’t move besides the clenching of her fists and stomach, Jamie calmly continued. “Ed checked in too. Wanted to see how we were doing. You know how he is; always worried. Scared of your mum too. Bit mental how you slept through that though. Thought Carson was gonna blow out the speakers with how loud he was banging on for us to sneak back over.”

Dani huffed out a laugh, and Jamie smiled down at her. “We missed dinner too,” Jamie said, “Ed said that Judy made us plates, so I ran over to grab ‘em and let her know I’ll be here for the night.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, Dani pushed herself up, eyes wide. “But - mom. She - “

“Didn’t see me,” Jamie said, and smiled reassuringly. “She was asleep.”

“Okay,” Dani breathed, nodding faintly, panic quickly receding. She exhaled slowly, grateful for Jamie’s comforting silence, their knees pressing together. “I should - um. I should check on her. See if she’s okay.”

Jamie nodded easily. “I’ll come help bring up dinner.”

Dani swallowed hard, but nodded.

They slipped their way out of Dani’s room, and padded softly downstairs. The lights in the living room were off from where Dani could see in the hall, but for the evening sun and the flickering light of the tv cascading the room. Jamie slipped away to the kitchen, while Dani continued onwards towards the smell of smoke and wine.

Her mother lay sideways on the couch facing the television, breathing deeply as she slept, still wearing her clothes from earlier today, rumbled and wrinkled. A glass with remnant drops of wine sat on the coffee table next to a bottle and an ashtray littered with crushed cigarette buds. Dani swallowed hard, an anxious pit forming in her stomach just at the sight of her, but as she edged closer, eyes searching for any lit or forgotten cigarettes, she slowed when her eyes landed on her mother’s face.

Exhaling softly, Dani moved with the muscle memory of having done this a hundred times before. Reaching for the patterned throw blanket draped across the back of the couch, unfolding it to drape it across her mom’s sleeping form, careful to tuck her in with as little contact as possible. Frowning down at her, Dani hesitantly reached her hand out and shifted a stray strand of blonde hair out of her mother’s face. Karen shifted and Dani pulled her hand away, tightening them into fists by her side, but her mother did not wake.

Doing one more scan across the floor and couch, pleased to find no cigarettes in sight, she turned the tv off and gathered the wine glass and bottle, starting towards the kitchen without a backwards glance. But as she turned, she jerked to a stop at the sight of Jamie standing frozen by the entrance, two plates of food already in hand, eyes unblinking on the sleeping form of her mom, wearing a deep frown that shadowed her features.

Swallowing down a swell shame, Dani stepped closer into Jamie’s eyeline. “Hey,” she murmured.

Jamie’s eyes caught Dani’s, blinking owlishly, her shoulders taut and the muscles of her jaw corded tight. “See you upstairs,” Jamie muttered, and disappeared up the staircase without another word.

Biting at her lip, her stomach clenching, Dani continued towards the kitchen. She washed the wine glass and set the empty wine bottle away under the sink, trying to settle the worrying pit in her stomach from Jamie’s tightened expression, having made its return since the day before at the O’Mara’s. When she was done, she gathered two glasses of orange juice and returned upstairs to her room with a deep fortifying breath.

Jamie was already wolfing down her dinner, shepherd’s pie from the looks of it, not glancing up as Dani entered and blocking the door again behind her. She set Jamie’s juice on the nightstand beside her before returning to her spot on the other side of her bed where her plate was waiting for her.

“Is it good?” Dani asked, more just to hear Jamie’s voice again rather than the quality of food that she already knew would be hearty and appetizing.

Her mouth full, Jamie nodded with a grunt, not looking at Dani.

Ducking her head, her plate in her lap, Dani pushed around the food with her fork. “Sorry,” she said, her voice trembling.

Jamie froze beside her, her knuckles white around her fork. She slowly turned her head to stare at Dani. “What for?” she asked, her voice low and flat.

“Just -” Dani made a weak gesture towards the door, towards downstairs, where her mother slept. “- That.”

“No,” Jamie choked out. “I’m -” She cut herself off, falling silent for a long moment before dropping her fork to the plate, metal clanging against ceramic, and pushed the plate away on the bed.

Dani looked up at her, seeing that same darkened expression, her teeth clenched and her brows furrowed, working her jaw as though she was desperately trying to think of something to say. Dani glanced away, back to her food.

“It’s okay - um. Let’s - let’s just finish dinner,” Dani mumbled.

She could feel Jamie’s eyes on her, piercing and unblinking. When Dani finally forked a mouthful of food into her mouth, she saw out of the corner of her eye Jamie reached forward to pull her plate back into her lap. It was painfully quiet, besides the radio still going and the scrapping of their plates. Dani found that she could barely taste anything at all as she ate. Jamie finished her meal before her — she always ate as though the food might disappear at any moment — setting her plate aside on the table before leaning back against the pillows, knees pulled up to her chest, her hands dangling over her knees, clenching and unclenching. When Dani finished, sipping at her juice before moving to stand, Jamie spoke again, her voice quiet.

“Sorry.”

Dani froze. “Why?”

Visibly swallowing hard, Jamie rolled her head against the headboard to meet Dani’s eyes. At Dani’s frown, Jamie pushed herself up, crossing her legs and taking Dani’s plate from her hands to discard on her own before shifting to fully face Dani, her expression taut but determined.

“I told you that you never had to apologize to me for things like that, for your mum, and I — “ Jamie’s voice cracked, and she scowled down at her lap in response. Slowly, Dani turned to face her, mirroring her crossed legs and patiently waited, her heart thumping steadily against her ribs. Jamie inhaled slowly and caught her gaze again, her eyes stormy and vivid.

“You don’t ever have to be ashamed of it. Of any of it. Not to me,” Jamie said, but there was an odd pinch to Jamie’s expression, a darkened hue of shame of her own as she was unable to hold Dani’s gaze any longer, eyes darting down to her lap. “I just - what I’m trying to say is that I understand. I know what it’s like, what it feels like. More than you think.”

Slowly, Dani reached out and grasped one of Jamie’s hands to pull in her lap, unfurling her clenched fist to lace their fingers together, her thumb running over Jamie’s knuckles, feeling the grooves on her skin. Jamie exhaled slowly, quietly. The muscles of her shoulders easing from their tight coils.

“Told you, you wouldn’t have liked staying here,” Dani murmured.

Jamie’s eyes flashed up to Dani’s, intense and sharp, pinning Dani to the spot. “I meant what I said,” she said, “S’long as you’re here, that’s all I need.”

Words trapped in her throat, not knowing what else to say, Dani just nodded. Her grip on Jamie’s hand tightened. She felt the ghost of the pressure return in her chest before she pulled her hand away and curled on her side upon the mattress. Jamie followed her, facing Dani with a look of faint concern.

“So, she overheard you today?” Jamie asked quietly.

After a moment, fiddling with a strand of untwined thread from her comforter, Dani shrugged. “I don’t know,” she murmured, “She didn’t really say anything. She — ” Dani’s voice caught, memories of trembling in the dark “ — she left kind of right after.”

Jamie watched her quietly, her eyes traveling over her face as if searching for something. “Y’know,” Jamie started slowly, “You’re over all the time already, but you’re always welcome to stay with us whenever you like. If you don’t want to be here or you’re sick of the lads across the street. Nan doesn’t act like it, but she likes you. She wouldn’t mind.”

“I couldn’t - I couldn’t ask you to —”

“Dani,” Jamie interrupted, her grin soft, “We wouldn’t mind. Really.”

Dani could only smile, a warmth spreading across her chest as she reached a hand forward to link their pinkies. “Okay,” she murmured.

“And,” Jamie continued, a glint forming in her eyes, “If your mum catches you on the phone again, you just tell her it’s me. I can handle it.”

“That doesn’t really seem like a good idea,” Dani said, uncertainly.

“Look,” Jamie started, “your mum and I have an understanding. We don’t like each other, and to be honest with you, I couldn’t give two shits about it.”

Dani chuckled, but quickly sobered. “Keep that up, and she’ll probably never let me see you again.”

Jamie scoffed derisively and gave Dani a significant look. “As if she could keep me away.”

Sinking further into her pillow to hide her grin, Dani recalled Jamie scaling her house just a few hours ago. Without a word, Dani slid closer, rolling Jamie on her back to press her cheek against her shoulder and slip an arm around her waist. Jamie stiffened for a moment, and then sank into the sheets, an arm slowly moving to wrap around Dani’s shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Dani murmured into her flannel shirt, soft underneath her skin.

She felt Jamie’s thumb rub comforting motions against her shoulder, her other hand smoothing over the arm Dani had across her stomach, warm and grounding. “Anytime.”

--

The next morning, Dani woke to the slant of sunlight across her face. Jamie, no doubt having woken up with the sun, was next to her in bed when Dani blinked her eyes open, squinting in the morning light. She held a hot cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other, resting on an upright knee as she read. Dani would’ve thought that time had frozen from the day before if it weren’t for Jamie’s change of clothes and dishevelled hair from a night of sleep.

“Morning,” Dani murmured, her voice groggy, stretching her legs beneath the sheets. She eyed Jamie’s floral mug. “Did she see you?”

Jamie shook her head and flipped a page. “Waited ‘til she was gone,” she said, “Left a bit early too.”

“Oh."

It wasn’t often her mother left her behind for Sunday Church. It generally only occurred when she was upset with Dani more so than usual. The feeling left an acid discomfort in her stomach, and she curled further into herself to quell it. Seeing this, Jamie lowered her mug and her expression softened.

“Hey, more time for us to laze about, yeah?” Jamie said, her foot nudging Dani’s leg from above the comforter.

“I have to do chores,” Dani muttered into the sheets of her pillow.

Jamie’s mouth thinned. “Well, four hands are better than two as they say, or whatever.”

“I think the saying is two hands are better than —”

“Shut it. I haven’t finished my tea yet.”

Dani snorted, and was silent for a moment, before she said, “I really couldn’t ask —”

“Before you start banging on about it, I already did our dishes for you,” Jamie interrupted, her stare firm, “Let me help. Faster we finish, the faster we can get on with our day.”

In the end, it didn’t take much effort to convince her, not when Jamie was intent on being so sweet. It wasn’t often Jamie was so malleable and eager to help, and Dani found it to be remarkably charming and endearing, even as she awkwardly gave Jamie orders to get a head start on vacuuming during Dani’s hasty breakfast of cereal and tea. Jamie only fondly rolled her eyes as she trotted upstairs with the vacuum. They worked quickly and in tandem, Jamie’s radio blaring loudly as they cleaned that eventually Dani couldn’t help bobbing her head and singing along to the words. By midday, the house was clean and they were sweating in the humid summer heat. Before Jamie could even argue, Dani pressed a clean towel to her face and shoved her towards the bathroom to shower. Jamie laughed as she went, her smile brighter than it’d been in days.

Showered and dressed in clean clothes, the day was now theirs. The cinched feeling in her chest since waking up to her mother’s absence was loosened, but not entirely gone. It was the calm before the storm for when her mother returned. But until then, they spent the day much as they did the day before, holed up in Dani’s room with their books and music and endless conversation about everything and nothing.

“You need a bloody tv in here,” Jamie said at one point, tossing aside Mrs Dalloway in favor of returning to the dirty paperback Dani refused to look at, blessedly quiet this time.

When they overheard the unmistakable noise of the front door opening and slamming shut, Dani was all but shoving Jamie’s bag in her hand.

“What do you expect me to do? Jump out the fuckin’ window?” Jamie hissed.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Dani hissed back.

They held their breath as her mom’s footsteps passed by Dani’s room and disappeared into her own with the click of the door pressing shut. And true to her word, Jamie did give off the appearance of a sneaky cat as she slinked quietly through the house with Dani behind her.

“You gonna be all right?” Jamie whispered, shoving her feet into her canvas shoes.

Dani shrugged, quietly easing the door open. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

Jamie frowned at that, but said nothing except for, “I’ll check in later. If you need me sooner, flash the porch light twice.”

Dani nodded.

“Chin up, Poppins.”

With a departing wink and grin, she was gone, jogging across the street. Dani grinned after her and silently shut the door. The house felt abruptly quiet with Jamie gone. A hollowed chamber where Dani could hear the echo of every sound and movement in the walls and floors. A drip of the tap. The groaning pipes. The whistle of wind through a window crease. Twenty-four hours alone with Jamie in her house, and it was like Dani had suddenly forgotten what the emptiness of it felt like.

A creak of a door opening sounded through the second floor. Dani stiffened at the noise and started towards the kitchen for anything resembling food. She was in the middle of preparing a simple sandwich when she heard the steps of her mother pad into the kitchen. Dani swallowed hard, knuckles white against a butter knife, her breath caught in throat, her ears pricked. She held herself still, as though she could camouflage into the walls, making herself as small as possible. Prey hiding from predator. Her mother moved behind her — the opening and closing of cupboards and fridge, the clink of glass, the opening of a bottle — and then, she was gone. Leaving a trail of smoke lingering in the air, never speaking a word. Dani started when the tv in the living room clicked on, the volume loud and oppressive. It was only when she was finally back in her room, the chair lodged under the doorknob, that could Dani breathe again.

She hid there for the remainder of the day with the company of her books, and the radio Jamie had inexplicably left behind. This she was used to. The silences of cold shoulders and the quiet of her room. But a few hours in the company of Jamie by her side, having grown comfortable with her presence in her room, it was achingly lonely and by the second hour, she was bored out of her mind. But then came the familiar voices over the walkie talkie to her rescue.

“Danielle?” came Eddie’s voice, “Danielle, you there?”

“Lower your voice, you knob,” hissed Jamie’s voice.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbled, “Danielle?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” Dani replied, curling up on her side.

“Everything all good over there? Do I need to climb a tree again?” Jamie asked.

“You climbed a tree?” Eddie said, puzzled.

“Not important.”

Dani chuckled. “I’m fine,” she said. “Just bored, I guess.”

“Tomorrow’s Milkshake Monday, you should come over,” Eddie said, “When you’re not grounded anymore, I guess.”

“Please, Dani,” Jamie added, “Dunno how Mrs. O’Mara does it. If I hadn’t seen it for myself, you’d think this lot never showered with the way they smell.”

“Hey! Shut up, it’s hot outside, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” Dani said, biting back a laugh.

“Oh! Is that Dani?” Carson’s voice appeared, “Dani, come over!”

“Christ, could you shu — “ Jamie’s voice cut off, as though she had taken her finger off the ‘push to speak’ button.

Dani quietly laughed, her heart warmed and aching with how much she already missed them, even if they were just across the street. They kept her company on and off throughout the rest of the evening. Jamie offered to sneak food over, until Dani had to reassure her she had enough to fill her for the night. Carson recited running commentary on the ongoings of everyone in the house, audibly disrupting them all until they brightened when they realized who was on the other end, saying their hellos. And near the end of the night, when Eddie had finally swiped back his walkie talkie, he murmured in soft tones.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Really, I’m fine,” Dani assured, refraining from sighing.

“Okay,” Eddie said, satisfied. “You should really try to come over tomorrow. We could have a sleepover too, and um — “ his voice trailed off for a moment “ — I miss you.”

Dani grinned softly. “Miss you too.”

By the next morning, Dani woke early, amping herself up with Jamie’s radio on low, set to a Top 100 Pop Hits station, praying for some semblance of bravery. But when she ventured from her room, she found her mother’s bedroom door already open, coffee already made, and her car keys gone. The house empty and eerily silent. She debated with herself for the next half hour. Eating cereal by herself in the kitchen, writing an absentminded note on a spare piece of paper to get milk for the next grocery run, until eventually she was reconnecting the kitchen phone and dialing a number that was written down on a note on the fridge.

It rang four agonizing times until the line clicked open and her mother said, “Hello, Karen Clayton speaking.”

“Mom? It’s me,” Dani murmured, and she swore she could hear a soft sigh from the other end of the line.

“What do you need, Danielle? I’m working.”

“I was - um. I was wondering if I could go over to the O’Mara’s today,” Dani said, her grip tight on the receiver, and hesitantly added, “To sleep over?”

Her mother was quiet for a long moment. “Is that what you called me for? You know how busy I am.”

“I know, I - I just wanted to ask, because — “

“Do whatever you want, Danielle,” Karen said sharply, and the line went dead.

Dani blinked in the quiet of the kitchen, listening to her heart thudding against her ribs and the dial tone until she slowly set the receiver back into the base. It took a minute for the unease to settle, unsure of what to do, unsure if this was some kind of trap. But the promise of finally escaping to the house across the street proved to be more enticing, and she was racing up to her room to pack. Another storm passed, as they were wont to do.

The smile Eddie greeted her with when he opened the door was bright and infectious. He hugged her tight and happily took her bag from her hand, already marching towards the staircase to haul it upstairs. Nearby, Jamie was leaning against the wall and smirking at her as she pulled off her shoes.

“Finally,” Jamie muttered, “He hasn’t shut up about it since last night. Like he hasn’t seen you in weeks and not a few days.”

“Please, like you didn’t miss me too.”

Jamie’s smirk widened. “Not a clue what you’re talking about.”

Carson came abruptly sliding out of the kitchen on his socks, a jar of peanut butter and a butter knife in hand. “Dani!” he said, holding up the jar and knife as though in victory, “It’s Milkshake Monday!”

Even Jamie smiled through the roll of her eyes. Somehow over the course of the summer, jaunts to Big Bill’s Diner for milkshakes and lunch had become custom every Monday. The twins would occasionally accompany them, as they were today, hauling out their bikes along with Jamie’s to ride across town to the ancient grease diner that half the time was populated by truckers passing through. As was usual, they all doubled up. Dani settled behind Jamie, standing on the rear pegs of her bike, resting her hands on Jamie’s steady shoulders while Eddie and Carson followed suit with the twins.

“Ready?” Jamie murmured.

“Good to go,” Dani replied, patting Jamie’s shoulder. “Giddyup.”

“Say that again and I’ll throw you off,” Jamie grumbled as Dani laughed, and took off behind the twins.

Like all Mondays before, they hunkered down in a booth with their milkshakes and lunches of burgers and fries. It all together felt like being able to breathe once more, sitting in between Eddie and Jamie, laughing at the twins’ teasing and Carson’s brain freeze. Jamie slouched low in her seat, quiet more so than usual, but always wearing a small grin every time Dani glanced her way. When she saw an open opportunity to steal a fry from Jamie’s plate, she reached out a hand just for a reaction, and laughed when Jamie slapped it away, grumbling good naturedly but her smile wider than before.

On the other side of her, Eddie slid his plate closer to her. “You can have some of mine,” he said with an eager grin, knocking their shoes together.

Jamie made a noise that sounded both like a scoff and snicker. “Knobhead.”

On the ride back home, Dani soaked up the afternoon sun and wind on her face, standing higher on the back pegs, pressing closer to Jamie’s back.

“You all right back there?” Jamie said as she peddled, mirth in her voice.

“Never better,” Dani replied, her grip tightening on Jamie’s shoulders.

--

Dani woke up squinting in the morning sun, almost expecting to see Jamie propped up on the pillows with a cup of tea in hand and a book in the other the way she had the other day. Instead, she rolled over and found the other side of the bed empty and cold, Jamie long gone for the morning. She was almost disappointed, but then she remembered: this wasn’t Dani’s house, nor was it Jamie’s. They were in Carson’s room where they had accommodated his bed for the night, seeing as it had more room to spare than a camp bed. They had both demurred at the idea, not wanting to take over Carson’s room, but Judy and Carson had insisted.

As quiet as possible, Dani rose from the bed and tiptoed around Carson sleeping soundly on the camp bed where he had sworn they’d stay up all night talking, but almost immediately fell asleep upon his head hitting the pillow. She opened the door to a quiet house. The boys rooms were still tightly shut, a gentle breeze blew through the open window on the landing, morning birds chirping outside, but there also were soft voices and movement down below. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Dani followed the sound downstairs towards the kitchen, and blinked at what greeted her.

Already dressed in her work clothes, Judy was manning the stove where a familiar kettle was heating up, and sitting hunched over at the counter barstool was Jamie, still in her pajamas, her hair disheveled. They both turned at the sound of Dani entering the room.

“Good morning, honey,” Judy said, smiling at her. “What are you doing up so early?”

Dani shrugged. “Just used to it.”

“An early riser like this one then, huh?” Judy said, nodding towards Jamie with an affectionate look. Jamie in response grinned thinly, her cheek resting against her fist. Judy waved Dani towards the barstools. “Go on, take a seat. Jamie’s teaching me how to make real English tea. I’ll get you a cup too.”

When Judy’s back was turned as she delved into the cupboards, Dani arched a brow at Jamie, grinning as she slid onto a stool next to her. Jamie rolled her eyes with a quiet sigh, but said nothing. Unlike last Friday, there was a relaxed slouch to Jamie’s shoulders as she sat at the counter, her legs still and her expression lethargic, but otherwise free of taut lines that so prevailed the previous week.

Dani grinned softly at the sight, and couldn’t help but reach up to smooth away wild flyaways from Jamie’s hair before leaning close to murmur in her ear, “Did you bring tea and your kettle from home?”

Jamie stiffened for a moment, before turning to scowl at her. “Sod off,” she murmured, poking Dani hard in the ribs, grinning when Dani jerked and swiped her hand away.

It was comforting, to quietly sit next to Jamie, still too tired to speak in full sentences as she listened to Jamie uttering soft, patient directions to Judy as she made the three of them tea. At the first sip, Jamie hummed appreciatively to Judy’s delight.

“S’not bad, Mrs. O’Mara. Definitely better than Dani’s,” Jamie said, failing to hide her smirk as Dani huffed.

Judy chuckled. “Thank you, sweetheart, I try my best,” Judy said, leaning on her elbows across the counter from them as she took a sip, “Not bad if I do say so myself. I’m going to have to get an actual kettle and real tea set, and then you’re going to have to show me how to make a real brew, as you Brits say.”

Jamie nodded and grinned. “If you like.”

Carson and Mike were the next to make an appearance in the kitchen as Jamie and Dani were in the midst of eating cereal and sharing a bowl of fruits. Mike gently guided a still half-awake Carson across the room before kissing Judy lightly on the cheek and helping himself to some fresh coffee. Carson was still bleary eyed as Judy handed him a bowl.

"Carson," Jamie said. When he glanced up she mimed throwing a grape at him until he opened his mouth and she chucked it across the kitchen in a clear arc. The grape smacked him on the cheek and went plonking down to the floor. Judy gave them both an admonishing look. Jamie grinned sheepishly in response as Dani snickered.

The day seemed to fly by after they’d had their breakfast and Judy and Mike set off to work. A whole house to themselves with nothing to do but to hang out and annoy each other. Dani was positive that Carson wasn’t as absentminded as he appeared as he shook his feet, lounging on the basement couch during a movie, a foot hitting Eddie in the head more than once where he sat on the ground, leaning against the couch. Dani was beside him, having found her spot first before Eddie plopped down next to her, refusing to move throughout Carson’s beatings.

Instead, Eddie leaned his shoulder against hers, his hands twitching as if restless with nerves. When she relaxed her hands on her stretched out legs, his arm inched closer, pressing against hers as he rested his hand oddly on the ground between them, his palm up and hands loose. It was like he was waiting for something. Or someone to grab hold of it. The realization made her roll her eyes, and she reached down to grasp his palm. Out of the corner of her eyes, his shoulders tensed slightly, but a small smile curled up his lips as he pushed his glasses up his nose. Dani fondly shook her head as their fingers linked together.

Jamie meanwhile sat in an armchair with Mrs Dalloway in hand, slouching low with a leg slung over an armrest, her foot bouncing lightly. Throughout the movie — some Monty Python picture from the year before — Dani couldn’t help occasionally sneaking glances at her. Her eyes drawn to the way Jamie fiddled with her coin necklace and glowering more so than usual down at the pages as she read, her jaw clenched. A strain had returned to her that Dani couldn’t place beyond the fact that her choleric disposition had made its triumphant return from Friday. But by the time the movie was over, her hand free from Eddie’s grasp as he moved to change the tape, Jamie caught her eyes, her expression relaxed to a faint smile. When Eddie asked Dani what she thought of the movie, she found that she couldn’t remember the plot much at all.

Later, during their fourth round of Uno around the coffee table in the living room that evening, waiting for dinner as Carson helped Judy in the kitchen, Jamie seemed more relaxed but no less ornery in the spirit of competition. When Dani was moments away from putting down another matching card, Jamie looked up from her massive sprawl of cards in one hand with her chin resting on her fist and said, “Skip me again, I dare you.”

Dani raised her eyebrows, and shrugged with an air of nonchalance. “If you say so,” she said, playing a Skip card.

Jamie flung her pile of cards on the table. “For fuck’s sake,” she grumbled as Dani laughed.

“You just ruined the pile!” Eddie groaned, with the fewest cards left in his hand, “We have to start over now.”

“Oh, shut your hole. You already won last round,” Jamie muttered, leaning back on her hands.

“Not my fault you’re just a sore loser,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes as he gathered the cards into a neat stack.

“Keep talking, and see what happens, Ed.”

Dani sighed exasperatedly. “Okay, I think we’re done with Uno.”

“Thank Christ,” Jamie breathed and rose to her feet, marching away towards the stairs. Dani watched her go with another sigh.

“Does she always have to be so grumpy like that?” Eddie asked.

“She’s had a rough couple of days,” she said, frowning at him.

Eddie snorted, and muttered under his breath, “Didn’t seem like it.”

Dani gave him a look that he shied away from. “Okay, okay,” he mumbled, “I’ll go easy on her.”

“I’d really appreciate that,” Dani said softly, and pushed his glasses up his nose.  

He grinned at her, his cheeks tinted pink, and then inhaled sharply, looking down at the cards in his hands. “So, I was thinking tomorrow we could go get some ice cream together or something.”

“Ice cream? Yeah, I’d love to,” Dani said, “I’ll ask Jamie later.”

Eddie’s grin fell slightly as he looked back up at her. “No, I meant - I meant just the two of us.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard, and for a brief moment, Dani felt like she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. “Yeah, like a da — “

A loud slam from upstairs shook the house. They both jumped at the sound, eyes wide.

“You fucking -!”

Thunderous footsteps ran across the top floor and down the stairs, stomping with every step. Dani and Eddie rose to their feet to follow the sound in the hallway.

“Get back here, you little shit!”

There was the distinct sound of Jamie’s laughter, wild with adrenaline and panic as she came crashing down the stairs, jumping across the last few steps and nearly collapsing over as she hit the ground.

“What on earth is going on?” Judy called out, appearing from the kitchen with Carson, eyes wide with her hands on her hips.

Jamie didn’t stop, rushing past them all towards the front door, ripping it open to bolt outside barefoot, her flannel and hair flying behind her. One of the twins — undoubtedly David — came thundering down the stairs after her, his face apoplectic and red, racing after her outside and down the street. Dani stepped towards the open door to watch them sprint around the corner and out of sight. Dani pressed a hand to her mouth to suppress her laughter as the others stood next to her in the doorway in bewilderment.

David may have been a whole foot taller than Jamie and then some, but Dani had every confidence that she could outrun him, especially with the dirty paperback she spied clutched in Jamie’s hand spurring her on.

“What in the Sam Hill was that all about?” Judy said, her arms crossed.

“No idea,” Dani replied.

Tommy came up behind them, laughing hard as he clutched his sides, and leaned over them to yell, “Told you it wasn’t me!”

--

“What,” said Dani, squinting down at the sheet in front of her, “is a cleric?”

They were sitting on the ground around the coffee table in the O’Mara’s living room. Eddie had claimed the couch as his throne and had surrounded himself with pages and notes, pencils and erasers, little cardboard tokens and a set of three big books, one of which was open and perched on his knees. On the table, he’d spread a large sheet of paper with grid lines drawn in pen.

It was the only vaguely quiet place in the house apart from the basement, which didn’t have a big enough table to fit them. Judy was baking in the kitchen and had shooed them out of the dining room. Meanwhile, Tommy and David were blasting music upstairs in their shared room. Whenever Mike would stand on the stairs and yell for them to turn it down, the twins would comply for exactly thirty seconds before ramping the volume back up again. Even now, Dani could hear a rhythmic thumping bassline through the ceiling.

Eddie pushed up his glasses. “It’s like a cross between a Fighting Man and a Magic User. You can wield non-edged magic weapons and heal people in your party.”

“Non-edged? Why non-edged?” Dani pointed to the couch. “And can you pass me a pillow?”

“Sure. Here.” Eddie tossed her one of the cushions, which she promptly sat upon and crossed her legs. “It’s just in the rules. I’ve also made you guys level three, so Carson can actually do some damage in a fight.”

“Do I get a sword?” Carson asked excitedly, brandishing his pencil as though it were a weapon.

“You’re a Magic User. You can only use a dagger and spells.”

“Nice! Spells!” Carson pointed the pencil at his brother. “I cast: slap you in the face.”

Eddie frowned. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“I thought you said you were controlling the monsters, though.”

“You did say that,” Dani agreed.

Rubbing at his forehead, Eddie sighed. “I’m the Dungeon Master. I control the story and the monsters.”

“And I control the magic called: slap you in the face.” For good measure, Carson chucked his pencil at Eddie, who ducked so that the pencil bounced against the back of the couch.

“Watch it!”

Carson made a face at him. “Don’t be such a baby!”

“Yeah, that’s your job,” Dani said with a grin.

“Hey, Jamie,” said Eddie. “Come play with us. We need another person for the party.”

Like some sort of cat, Jamie was seated on the back of the other couch that was pushed up against the wall. She leaned her shoulder against the wall, one leg outstretched, the other knee balancing a battered paperback. Every now and then, Jamie would glance furtively over the top of the book towards the windows that showed the front lawn and the street beyond it.

“Don’t want to,” Jamie muttered, scowling back down at the book in her lap.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You’re not even reading. You’ve been on the same page for ten minutes now.”

In answer, Jamie turned a page.

“C’mon. You can be a Fighting Man.” Eddie held up a character sheet with a bunch of painstakingly pencilled in numbers that he had added earlier that day while Dani watched and chatted with him. “You like fighting.”

Aiming her glower at him, Jamie growled, “Fuck off.”

“Look at that: perfect for the role.”

“Do I get to be evil?” Carson interrupted. “I want to be evil.”

Eddie ignored him. “Danielle, convince her to play with us.”

“She doesn’t want to play, Eddie,” Dani replied.

“Yeah, but she always listens to you.”

“I can hear you,” Jamie snapped.

“If you’re not going to play, why are you even down here?” Eddie asked. “You can always just hang out in Carson’s room if you want to be alone.”

Jerking her thumb towards the ceiling, Jamie said, “You think I can get a moment’s peace with Tweedledee and Tweedledum bangin’ about up there?”

“The basement’s quiet, though,” Carson pointed out.

Dani could see Jamie’s lips purse together, her brows still furrowed and her shoulders tense. Outside, a vehicle trundled down the street and Jamie’s head jerked up to follow it only for her to slouch sullenly once more.

The basement was quiet, but it didn’t have a clear view of the road.

"Let's just -" Dani smiled as broadly as she knew how towards Eddie and Carson "- play. All right? And let’s leave Jamie alone."

Begrudgingly, Eddie picked up a few cardboard tokens and began setting them out on the paper grid map. "Fine. Do you have names for your characters?"

"Uh," Dani glanced down at the sheet again. She couldn't visualize what her character looked like in the slightest. A priest, perhaps. Black robes beneath a set of medieval armour with a patch of white collar showing through. Grimacing, she said, "Dani?"

"You can't have it be your own name."

"Why not?" Carson asked. "Carson the Wizard has a great ring to it."

"Oh, my god," Eddie groaned and rested his forehead on the open pages of his manual. "Can you please take this seriously? Just for two seconds?"

"You want me," said Carson, "to pretend to use magic, and also be serious about it? Are you stupid?"

"Okay. Fine. Fine!" Eddie lifted his head and spread his hands in a sharp gesture. "Your characters are you. Just you with your own names but with powers. Now, can we please play?" When both Dani and Carson nodded, he sighed, "Finally. All right. The two of you are descending into the bowels of a long-forgotten ruin -"

They played. Dani kept forgetting the names of her abilities and how to perform them, but she did her best. She spent most of the time being distracted by the too quiet way Jamie was sitting behind her. More than once Eddie had to call her name to get Dani to stop looking over her shoulder at where Jamie was fiddling with the pages of a book or staring out the window.

"Danielle."

Dani started and turned back around. "Sorry," she said again. "Sorry. I - uh -" Turning over the character sheet, she re-read her list of actions. "I use Turn Undead?"

Eddie mimed an explosion emanating from the little token that denominated her character, pushing aside various other tokens that surrounded it. “With the strength of your conviction and the name of your god’s name upon your lips, you show your holy symbol and the skeletons around you crumble into dust in a blaze of light! All except -” he lowered his voice dramatically, pushing forward one of the tokens, “- for one.”

“Oh, shit,” Carson whispered, eyes wide, utterly rapt.

Without warning, Jamie scrambled from the back of the couch, half falling to the floor and racing to yank open the front door. All three of them — Eddie, Carson, and Dani — jumped in surprise, turning to stare as she ran from the house.

"What's gotten into her?" Eddie muttered.

Craning her neck, Dani pushed herself upright and peered out the window. A familiar truck had pulled up to the curb out front. She couldn't hear what was happening, not over the noise of Tommy and David's music, but she could see Nan pushing open the driver seat door and laboriously stepping out onto the pavement. Jamie was lingering at the other door, its window rolled down so she could lean on her elbows and exchange words with her grandmother.

"Oh! Mrs. Heron's back!" Carson said, abandoning the game of dungeons and dragons in favor of trotting off to the kitchen and hollering, "Mom! Mrs. Heron's back!"

Whatever Judy replied was lost as Dani wandered over to the open front door. She hesitated at the threshold, watching as Jamie's posture rapidly shifted from tense to relieved to tense all over again. Nan glanced up, saw Dani standing there, and gave her a tired looking wave. Dani returned the gesture, but Nan had already turned her attention back to Jamie, murmuring something that made Jamie's head jerk back as though she'd been physically struck.

Behind her, Dani could hear Eddie muttering to himself. She turned to find him cleaning up the coffee table. With a grimace, she returned to the living room to help him. "Sorry," she said as she shuffled together all of the various pieces of paper into a neat stack. "I was having fun. I swear."

"Mmm," said Eddie, sounding unconvinced.

"Do you want to finish the story tomorrow?" Dani asked and she handed over the pages.

Before he could answer, Nan limped through the front door. In one hand she leaned her weight heavily upon the polished wooden cane, but in the other she cradled in the crook of her elbow what appeared to be a bundle of blankets.

"Jesus Christ," Nan winced when she first stepped inside, aiming a sour glance up at the ceiling. "And I thought Louise's house was a racket."

"Hi, Mrs. Heron," said Eddie, packing up the last of the game along with his books. "Did you have a nice trip?"

"Loaded question, that one," Nan replied dryly. "Best answered over a cup of tea, I think."

"I heard the word 'tea.'" Judy emerged from the kitchen. She wore a flour-splattered apron and a smile as broad as it was warm. "Welcome back, Ruth. Long flight?"

With a grunt, Nan corrected her, "Flights. Plural. And I would kill for a half decent cuppa."

"I make no promises about decent, but Jamie’s been teaching me, so it will be tea."

"Ta."

Nan smiled wearily at Judy before she crossed the living room and lowered herself onto the same couch Jamie had been waiting on all day now. She groaned lightly, her movements stiff, treating the bundle of blankets in her arm as though it were a swaddling of gemstones. Outside, the car door slammed shut. Jamie stomped up the walkway towards the house. When she came inside, she paused to wipe her bare feet on the mat.

In puzzlement, Dani glanced between her and Nan. Ever since last night, Jamie had been a cluster of nerves. All short syllables and tense jaw. If anything, she seemed more ill at ease than before.

Carson came back into the living room, greeting Nan cheerfully before he got roped into helping Eddie carry everything back upstairs. Rolling his eyes, Carson nevertheless let his arms be piled up with books. As the two of them went up the stairs, Carson yelled for Tommy and Eddie to turn off the music since they had company. At the noise, Jamie's fists clenched at her sides and Dani could see the way her throat worked when she swallowed.

"You're awfully quiet," Nan said with a nod towards Dani.

"Sorry," said Dani.

Nan rolled her eyes. "I see that good for nothing mother of yours removed some of your spine in my absence. After all my hard work, too." She tutted, shaking her head.

Dani blinked. She opened her mouth to reply, but then the bundle in Nan's arms squirmed. When Nan set aside her cane and began to bounce the bundle up and down in a gentle rocking motion, Dani blurted out, “You have a baby?”

Nan looked at her as though she’d grown an extra head. “Don’t be daft. He’s not mine. Well -” she frowned off into the middle distance. “- As much as she’s mine, I suppose.”

Jamie’s stiff scowl deepened when Nan gestured towards her. When Jamie muttered something acidic under her breath, Nan said waspishly, “Speak up. If you’re going to say something unfortunate, you might as well be loud about it.”

Jaw clenched, Jamie lifted her voice enough to be heard. “I said: I can’t believe you didn’t even tell me that’s why you were going.”

“Wasn’t aware I needed your permission,” Nan drawled. A tiny hand worked its way free of the blanket and grabbed at her chin. Nan leaned her head away with a sigh. “Enough of that, you fussy fannybaws.”

Dani rose up on her toes as surreptitiously as she could in an attempt to get a better look at the baby, but she immediately sank back down to her heels again when Jamie snapped, "What about Denny?"

Nan's expression was hard as flint. "He's eighteen and long gone. Don't waste your breath on the likes of him. Too much like your father, he is."

"And whose fault is that, then?"

Nan glowered and it were as though any vestigial warmth in the room was sucked out of the house. Eyes wide, Dani held her breath, wishing she could sink into the floor. Anything to not be privy to this conversation.

"Now, I've had a long few weeks," Nan said coldly, "And I'm in no mood to tussle with you today. If you're that keen for a smack, we can talk tomorrow after I've had a sleep."

There followed a moment of agonizing silence, in which Dani tried to appear as unassuming and insignificant as possible. She looked at a spot on the floor and remained very still until — without another word — Jamie stormed off down the hallway. Just as she stalked out, she nearly ran into Judy, who was emerging from the kitchen with two steaming mugs in hand.

"Woah!" Judy swerved to narrowly avoid barrelling straight into seventy pounds of distilled ire. She stared after Jamie and shook her head when there came the crash of a door being slammed. Turning to Dani, she asked, "What on earth did I miss?"

Dani shook her head. Meanwhile from the couch Nan made a noise halfway between disgruntled and exhausted. Judy crossed the room to sit beside her on the couch, and as she handed over one of the mugs her eyes widened. "Oh," she said with dawning realization. Her mouth retained a round drawn out moue, and her eyes moved from Nan, to the baby, to the hallway where Jamie had just stormed off, and back again. "I see." Then she added, "Do you want me to add some whiskey to this?"

With a snort of laughter, Nan took the mug, careful to manoeuvre her hands so she wouldn't spill a drop on the all important parcel in her lap. "Normally I'd say yes, but I need to drive us home later."

"Well, the offer stands. I can drive you and Jamie home," Judy murmured around the lip of her own mug, "And it seems like you need it."

"It's not all that bad."

Judy gave Nan a look.

Nan sighed and took a sip of her tea. "Maybe that bad."

"Your daughter -?" Judy asked, trailing off without finishing the question.

In answer, Nan hummed and though the sound was wordless it carried all the bitterness she could muster. "The one and only."

"Louise, right? And what about -?" Judy made a covert motion with her free hand that Dani did not quite understand.

Nan seemed to get the message however, for she shook her head. "No. Someone else."

"And he's -?"

"Around?" Nan finished for her and then let out a bark of laughter. "No, I daren't say he is.”

Dani fidgeted, and suddenly two sets of adult eyes were upon her. Judy seemed a bit uneasy, clearing her throat and crossing her legs at the ankle.

“Dani,” said Nan. Her voice had softened somewhat, but her expression was unreadable. “Go get Jamie, love.”

With a nod, Dani turned heel and left, grateful for an excuse to depart the room. Behind her Judy and Nan struck up their conversation once more, but their voices were lowered to covert murmurs and Dani did her best not to listen. The music from upstairs had been turned down, and as she passed by she could hear Mike descending the steps and the O'Mara boys bickering in the backdrop. Dani ducked her head and hurried further along.

The hall leading to the garage was empty. Fumbling for the light switch, Dani flicked them on. Dim light flooded the narrow corridor. As she approached the garage, she could hear the sounds of banging, metallic and intermittent and not wholly loud. As though someone were carelessly casting aside tools in search of something else. Slowly, she opened the garage door and poked her head inside.

Jamie was crouched before her partially dismantled bicycle — the one she had scavenged years ago. Her back was to the door and she rummaged through a battered red toolbox that collapsed outward with trays when opened. Jamie tossed down a socket wrench, then picked up another, holding it up to her bike to see if it would match whatever fitting she was hoping to loosen.

Dani shut the door behind her as quietly as she could, but the click seemed to echo through the garage regardless. Items were scattered about on the cut concrete between them. A grease-streaked towel here. Remnants of a woodworking project here. Jamie seemed to take no notice in Dani's presence, though she must have known she was there. Dani's hand lingered on the painted texture of the door, hand bunched up at her back before she pushed herself forward. Jamie's head remained bowed over her work, shoulders hunched, movements sharp. When Dani stood close enough that she could reach out and touch her — could but didn't — she stopped.

"It's nice to have Nan back," Dani ventured.

Jamie hummed in answer but said nothing.

"I missed her," said Dani.

For a moment Jamie's movements stilled. When they started back up again it was with a vengeance, as though Jamie could take out all her frustrations on the old bike frame. "Wish she'd stayed back there," Jamie growled.

"That's not true," Dani said softly.

She could see the way Jamie's ribs expanded against the fabric of her t-shirt with a deeply indrawn breath. Her hand seemed to be trying to throttle the life out of the socket wrench, white-knuckled and tense. Then she began loosening the bolt that held the bike's back wheel in place. "Don't know why she had to go around sticking her nose into other people's business," Jamie said. "Again."

"Is that what you want?" Dani asked. "For her to have left you alone in the first place?"

"Maybe. No. I don't know," Jamie snapped.

She still hadn't looked up from her work, still hadn't so much as glanced in Dani's direction. The bike hardly needed the attention. Over the years she and Mike had spent so much time tinkering over the thing that it might as well have been entirely new but for the base frame. And even that had been given reinforcing and several new coats of paint. It was, Dani understood, never about Jamie really wanting to fix something — a bike, a car, turning a new handle for an old chef's knife. It was just something for Jamie to do with her hands.

Dani slowly placed her hand on the arch of Jamie’s back, feeling the muscles bunch up beneath her palm. “Then what do you want?”

She let her hand slip away, falling back to her side when Jamie answered, “For things to go back to the way they were. No excitement. No yelling. No new baby. Things are going to change because she -” Jamie grunted as she twisted at the socket wrench “- had to go and ruin it.”

“Not all new things are bad,” Dani pointed out, but Jamie wasn’t having any of it.

"I don't want -" Jamie said stubbornly "- another brother. This one's probably only half related to me anyway."

Dani crossed her arms. “Hey, that’s not fair.”

“True though,” Jamie replied with one of those bitter grins of hers.

“He’s just a baby. It’s not like it’s his fault.”

That logic seemed to bounce right off, for Jamie just shrugged and lifted the tire away, setting it down on the ground. "Doesn't matter. Still has consequences, doesn't it? People talk. People always fuckin' talk."

"Nobody cares," Dani said firmly. "Who is going to find out, anyway? He's too young to go to school. We'll have graduated by the time he even learns to use full sentences."

Jamie laughed and it was a breathless, incredulous kind of sound. She shook her head, looking over her shoulder at Dani with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Think Nan's going to be the one taking care of him? 'Cause she's not." Jamie pushed at her knees and rose to her feet. She tapped the socket wrench against her own chest, her hands smudged with streaks of dark grease. "That'll be on my head, soon. Just you wait."

Frowning, Dani held her ground. "She isn't going to just up and leave you alone with a baby, Jamie."

"Yeah. Sure. Right."

"That's a bit extreme, don't you think?"

"Is it?" Jamie took a step closer to Dani, but she was pointing towards the garage door with the wrench. "Last time, I was the kid, and mum up and left, and Denny was off doing fuckall, and dad was too busy in the mines to remember he still had kids! And then she -!" Jamie stabbed the wrench towards the door again as if brandishing a weapon, "- comes 'round like she's saving the fuckin' day! And I’ll be the one left holding the can! Again!”

It took a moment for Dani to find her voice, to put together the pieces of what Jamie had revealed — glimpses of a past that she normally held so close to her chest like a fan of cards now tilted just slightly, just enough to peek — to say, “You won’t.”

If anything Jamie seemed puzzled by this response. Her brows furrowed and she blinked. “What -?”

“You won’t,” Dani repeated. “Because you’re not there anymore. You’re here.”  

Jamie opened her mouth to reply, but no noise came out. Her hands were fists but the lines of her face softened somewhat. As much with bewilderment as anything else. As though Dani had tripped her along the war path. As though the wind had been directed right out of her sails.

"You're here," Dani repeated, voice softer now. She reached out to touch Jamie's wrist, curling her fingers around a notch of bone leading to her hand. "And Nan isn't going anywhere. And neither are you."

"You don't know that," Jamie breathed.

Dani's hand drifted down until her finger grazed the handle of the socket wrench. She gently urged Jamie's grip to slacken until she could take the wrench and set it down. "Maybe not," Dani said. "But you have today. Focus on today. Not tomorrow. One day at a time."

Swallowing thickly, Jamie nodded. Dani waited, but Jamie simply stood there, silent and uncertain. Two weeks ago, Dani might have asked if Jamie wanted her to leave, if Jamie wanted to be alone, but now she took Jamie by the hand and tugged her softly towards the door leading back into the main house. Jamie's fingers still held a slight tremor; she allowed herself to be led along. When Dani took the first left as they entered the hallway, Jamie's brow furrowed.

"Where are we -?" she asked as Dani pushed open the door leading to the downstairs bathroom.

Dani switched on the sink tap, setting the water to warm. "Need to wash your hands."

For some reason, Jamie must have thought that was funny for she laughed, a short, breathy sound.

She could have easily washed her hands herself, but she let Dani urge her hands beneath the warm steady stream, let Dani lather a bar of soap between their sets of hands. Streaks of grime were swept down the drain. Dani hardly noticed how close they were standing — their sides jammed together, their knees knocking together — focusing instead on letting the water stream over their wrists and knuckles, focusing instead on twisting the tap shut and drying Jamie's hands with a towel. She half expected Jamie to pull away, to laugh and say she could do this herself, but Jamie didn't. And when Dani glanced up, hanging the towel back on its hook, Jamie was watching her with that blank expression of two weeks ago. As though Dani had happened upon her in a dream.

"You okay?" Dani asked. She wiped any residual water from her own hands upon the front of her shirt.

Jamie nodded, but her smile appeared forced. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Dani searched her gaze, but Jamie’s eyes were steady and unblinking. She was about to ask again, insist even — ‘Tell me. Don’t hide from me’ — but then Jamie was straightening her shoulders and walking back into the hallway. For a moment Dani hesitated, gripping the front of her own shirt, before she trailed after her down the corridor and back into the living room.

Nan and Judy were sitting on the far couch pushed up against the wall, while Mike had taken one of the armchairs nearest his wife. Empty cups of tea were littered across coasters on the coffee table. The adult’s conversation paused when she and Jamie walked into the room, but resumed once again when it was apparent that Jamie was only moving to sit on the other empty couch. Jamie dropped down onto the cushions, feet splaying out and arms crossing, but she was here.

Dani shot Nan a questioning look, and Nan gave her a slight nod as thanks. The pleasure at having done something right buzzed straight down Dani’s spine — a heady mix of elation and relief — and she took a seat beside Jamie.

“Go on, then,” Nan held out the baby to Jamie. “Take him.”

Looking horrified, Jamie leaned away. “I don’t want -”

“Jamie Katherine Taylor, if you think I won’t scalp your arse in front of all these people, you’re dead wrong. Now, take him.”

At the sound of her full name being used, Jamie’s face went an ugly shade of red and splotchy all over. It was only the second time Dani had ever heard Nan use Jamie’s full name before, and the first time had similar effects. Jamie’s throat worked and slowly her face lost its flush of anger, and finally she rose from her seat, reached out and let Nan place the baby in her arms. Then, she slouched back against the couch beside Dani, keeping her eyes sullenly on the squirming bundle in her lap. Dani’s hand crept over as surreptitiously as she could manage and she simply rested it against Jamie’s leg, hoping that it might be a comforting weight. And gradually the tension in Jamie’s shoulders eased.

After a moment of awkward silence, Judy remarked, “Katherine’s a lovely name.”

Jamie shot her a look that should have left Judy maimed on the floor, but she said nothing.

“Not my first choice,” said Nan, settling herself back against the opposite couch and rubbing at the dark circles beneath her eyes. “But Louise was insistent.”

“And is Jamie short for anything?” Judy asked.

Jamie shook her head at the same time Nan said, “No. Just Jamie. After my brother.”

Leaning over to get a better look at the baby in Jamie’s arms, Judy said, “Well, we’re going to have to think of a nickname for this one, anyway. ‘Mike’ is already taken.”

On the sidelines, Mike smiled apologetically and shrugged.

Under her breath Jamie muttered, “Can just call him ‘Bawbag’ and be done with it.”

Nan smacked Jamie’s ankles with her cane.

“Ow!” Jamie hissed, jerking her foot away and glowering at her grandmother.

“Be nice to your brother.”

Jamie rolled her eyes. Her knee bounced up and down — as it always did when she sat still for too long — and the baby grabbed at her hair with greedy hands. With a wince, Jamie stopped jiggling her knee and bowed her head down. “Fuck’s sake. You too?” she muttered under her breath, low enough that Dani was the only one who could hear. “Let go.”

Reaching over, Dani helped pry apart surprisingly strong little fingers from around Jamie’s hair. Every time it seemed they managed to get him to let go, his other hand would grab at her again. Eventually Dani let him grasp at her individual fingers instead, and Jamie was finally free.

“What about ‘Mac’?” Judy said. “That’s a Scottish thing, isn’t it?”

Nan made a face like she’d bitten into a lemon. “That’s even worse than just ‘Michael.’”

“Well, what’s wrong with plain old ‘Michael’?”

“Everything,” said both Nan and Jamie in unison.

“Hey, now,” said Mike, wounded.

As they lobbed nickname ideas back and forth, Dani leaned her shoulder against Jamie’s to look down into her arms, where the baby was squirming against the restraints of his blanket. He had a red and scrunched up face and a shock of dark hair cowlicked to his head. Dani tried to tuck his arms back into the blanket, but he wormed his way free despite her best efforts. When his eyes weren’t closed, he blinked as though against a bright light, turning his face in an attempt to hide from it, but the moment Dani covered his face with the blanket he pushed at the fabric in a fit of fledgling pique.

“You really are fussy,” Dani murmured, but she smiled and tugged the blanket down over his face again, biting back a snort of laughter when he pushed against her hand with a wordless whine of complaint. Without glancing up Dani said, “What about ‘Mikey’?”

The conversation died down and everyone turned to look at her. Dani blinked up at them, still half bowed over Jamie’s lap so that their shoulders were pressed up together. The baby had grabbed hold of her hand between both of his now and was see-sawing her fingers back and forth. She kept her wrist loose and gave him free rein.

Her suggestion lingered in the air as they all mulled over the name. Judy tilted her head slowly back and forth as if weighing between options. Jamie’s frown had vanished. And Nan was contemplatively stroking the polished head of her cane, lips pursed in thought.

“The least worst option I’ve heard,” Nan said finally.

“Better than ‘Mac’ anyway,” said Jamie. “Or Michael.”

“Oh, aye.” With a sigh, Nan sat back and waved towards Dani. “Mikey it is, then.”

--

With the arrival of Mikey, summer began to wane at what felt like an increasingly steady state. Dani spent the time jumping from house to house to house, carrying her polaroid camera everywhere she went, not wanting to miss a thing. Not when it felt like they were all on the precipice of jumping into the unknown, the gilded halls of high school hot on their heels.

Those last few weeks were spent glued to Jamie and the boy’s sides, avoiding home as much as possible. Days were spent finally learning how to drive with the help of Mike, white knuckled around the steering wheel of his car while being egged on and teased with Jamie and Eddie sitting in the backseat, and doing much of the same when one of the others were in the driver’s seat. Dinners were spent around the O’Mara’s dining table and evenings huddled around the coffee table playing Eddie’s dungeons and dragons game — Jamie had finally been roped into playing as a Fighting Man with an uneasy amount of bloodlust and mischief in her eyes. There were also the occasional sleepover nights spent in the O’Mara’s backyard under the dark sky telling scary stories with Jamie terrifying them into sleepless nights over ghost stories from England.

And then there were days spent at the railway cottage. When Jamie insisted on spending as much time as possible away from the house, sprinting the days until the porchlight flickered twice as Nan called them home. They spent their time walking along the railway tracks, biking past endless corn fields in the evening sun, and chasing after summer storms, watching darkened swirling clouds that almost seemed to glow as they passed over corn fields.

The one day they got caught up in the edges of a storm, getting soaked to the bone by the flash of rain, Jamie had laughed and said, “Is this really what storm chasers do?”

“What do you think, idiot?” Dani had said over the crash of distant thunder and wind.

“Think I’ve got a knack for it,” Jamie replied, hands on her hips as she stared at the vortex of clouds, “Reckon we’ll finally see a tornado this year?”

Dani rolled her eyes so hard it nearly hurt before she dragged Jamie back home to the cottage where they spent the next few days shivering fiercely to the sound of Nan’s scolding.

For the times when Nan put her cane down so to speak, they were at home helping watch Mikey. Jamie still hadn’t truly taken to him, her mouth twisting with distaste for every lesson learned on feeding him to bathing him to changing his diapers, but she never spoke another word of disdain. At least, not in front of Nan. Her grumbling of sleepless nights due to Mikey’s growing teeth pains were reserved for Dani only. Though there were days where Dani would find the pair of siblings in the midst of a staring contest as Jamie fed him, as though they were having a silent conversation. Dani was sure to capture the moment the second she could with her polaroid.

Dani on the other hand was enamored. Helpless to big brown eyes that stared unblinkingly up at her, his wordless baby babble and bright laughter when she tickled his sides, his hands grasping at anything to hold as they wriggled around determinedly. Dani and Jamie learned very early on to keep their hair tied back whenever he was in a grabbing mood. The first time Dani managed to rock him to sleep, she was so surprised that she nearly didn’t want to hand him off to Nan to put him down in the crib she had gotten secondhand from Judy.

The boys meanwhile were in the state between being terrified of even sneezing near Mikey and utterly fascinated to be in the presence of a baby for the first time since Carson had been born. Carson himself nearly vibrated out of his seams of having a baby to introduce so many new things to, and specifically with the relief of not being the youngest anymore. Eddie in particular was near bugeyed the first time he held him, frozen solid to the couch in fear of being flayed alive by Nan as though with one sudden movement Mikey would go flying from his arms.

It was a summer Dani would be hard pressed to forget, but eventually it eased to a close and by mid-August, high school came calling. None of them were eager or thrilled for the start of the new school year, especially one in an unfamiliar environment, particularly Carson who would be the only one left in middle school. His mood became morose the closer the day came, quiet and ill tempered that even Dani wasn’t sure what to say beyond the fact that nothing outside of school was going to change. Not even Eddie knew what to say or even felt the need to say anything at all, but to reassure Dani with a roll of his eyes that Carson would be all right eventually.

The only thing that seemed to ease the tension from Carson’s shoulders was the day before school was to start when Jamie took him aside by the shoulders at the river, walking him a few feet away and talking in soft tones that Dani couldn’t hear. She watched them with a fond soft smile until they eventually returned, Carson sitting heavily next to Dani with a sigh and swiping away Jamie’s hand with a faint scowl when she ruffled his hair with a smirk.

Later, when Dani asked her what she’d said to him, Jamie only smiled faintly and shrugged, murmuring, “What I wished someone told me, I guess.”

Jamie didn’t elaborate, and Dani didn’t feel the need to ask, grasping Jamie’s hand with a grin.

The first day of high school felt like walking into a strange new land. Unfamiliar hallways and unfamiliar faces of upperclassmen. Tommy and David left them in the dust the moment they stepped foot on campus with mocking grins and calls of good luck.

“Some help they were,” Eddie muttered with a scowl, his knuckles white against the strap of his satchel as his eyes darted around nervously.

Jamie snorted. “Did you really think they weren’t gonna be dickheads about it?”

“Well - I -”

While Eddie floundered for a response, Jamie rolled her eyes and led them inside.

By the end of the day, Dani could proudly say that she’d only gotten lost twice, and hadn’t verged on some sort of internal meltdown when she ended up only sharing homeroom class with Eddie. For years, eight hours a day, five times a week, she’d had both Eddie and Jamie by her side during school. Being a freshman alone was already nerve wracking with the way upperclassmen would sneer at them in hallways, but this all together felt sacrilegious to Dani’s routine. Jamie had only huffed and shrugged helplessly before darting to her own class as Eddie led her away by the hand.

It was easier as the week went on. Learning all her teachers' names, discovering she shared most if not all classes with Jamie and Eddie in some form or another. By Friday, she had memorized hallways and the locations of the nearest bathrooms, and learned that North Liberty High took its extracurriculars seriously, for being as few as they were. During lunch after her lone AP English class she had by herself, the main hall leading towards the lunch room was lined with small booths displaying various sports and extracurriculars to sign up for. Dani lingered near a few, biting her lip in consideration as she held her books close to her chest.

There weren't many she was particularly interested in, though she knew her mom expected her to thoroughly fill her schedule and future resume for university. Volunteering for some kind of charity or community work had been one thing she’d been considering, along with tutoring and student council. When she neared the booth for cheerleading, her shoulders tensed and her stomach tightened, her eyes landing on a group of girls hovering around the booth already in their uniforms in the school’s colors of blue and white. Swallowing hard, Dani ducked her head to avoid eye contact and sped past them, hearing their ring of soft laughter and conversation as she went.

In the end, Dani ended up picking up pamphlets for the clubs she was vaguely interested in, along with a Young Democrats of America and Model UN pamphlets for Eddie, and after much deliberation, cross country and track and field pamphlets for Jamie. Just as she was about to pull open a door dividing the different wings of the school, it was opened for her and she looked up to see Roger smiling thinly at her.

“Thanks,” she mumbled and walked past him. She only made a few steps down the hall when she realized he was following close by. It wasn’t really anything untoward. They shared the same AP English class much to her surprise, and there was only one way from class towards her locker and the lunchroom and it was down the same hallway they walked now.

“Um, hey,” he said, stepping next to her, his thin frame slouched and swallowed up in his oversized flannel, his hands buried in his jean pockets.

Dani blinked up at him in surprise. “Hi,” she replied with the rising awareness that this was already the most they’ve spoken in years.

“Never realized how ambitious you were,” he said, offering her a faint grin.

“Sorry?”

He gestured towards the pile of pamphlets in her hand. “You just - you have a lot you seem interested in.”

“Oh - um. No, some of them are for my friends,” she murmured, pulling her books and papers closer to her chest, not looking at him.

“Right. Eddie and Jamie.”

“Yeah.”

He was silent for an awkward moment as they walked. “What clubs are they interested in?”

“Um, Eddie’s been getting really into foreign affairs recently, and Jamie’s really good at running so I got them some politics and track stuff."

“Cool. And - uh - what about you?”

This was by far the strangest conversation Dani’d had in forever. “Volunteering. Student council. You know, the boring stuff no one really cares about.”

“Right,” he said, chuckling.

She floundered for a moment before asking, “And you?”

“Track, maybe,” he muttered with a shrug. Dani gave him a puzzled frown, knowing very well he was nearly as bad as Dani was at running. Before she could question it further, he scratched the back of his shaggy brown hair with a sheepish expression, “My dad wants me to join a bunch of stuff like yours, but I...I kinda hate it.”

“My mom too, actually,” she said, and they both shared a commiserating look.

They were silent again for another painful second when, without warning, Roger asked, “Are you going to Homecoming?”

Dani froze, jerking to a stop to blink up at him. “What?”

He seemed abruptly and unusually shy as he stopped next to her, his cheeks pink as he slouched further into the bunch of his shoulders. “I mean - I’m not - ” he started, and exhaled sharply, “I just mean it’s our first for high school, right? I just wanted to know if you were planning on going.”

Dani blinked up at him, lost for words. She was nowhere even in the realm of thinking about Homecoming, much less planning on attending it, not when it was still over a month away, but the way Roger was shuffling his weight from foot to foot sent a shock of anxiety down her spine to her heart, jumpstarting it into a pounding rhythm.

“Are you -? I mean - Is this -?” Dani gestured between the two of them.

His eyes widened. “Oh — no, I’ve been thinking about going, and thought — I guess I thought it’d be cool if I knew someone nice was going, too,” he said, shrugging helplessly, “No one really talks to me besides Sterling and Jackie, and well - you know how they are.”

“Oh,” she murmured, and swallowed hard, shrugging. “Yeah, um - I might go. I don’t know.”

Roger nodded as they continued walking, scratching again at the back of his head, his cheeks turning near scarlet as he asked, “Do you think Jamie would go?”

“Um,” Dani murmured, and tried to picture Jamie in a dress under cheap dance lights, looking absolutely miserable, and had to refrain from laughing incredulously at the image. “I’m not sure.”

His shoulders slumped, looking oddly dejected as he sighed. “Right,” he murmured, and then slowly paused, frowning as his eyes zeroed on something down the hall.

Dani followed his line of sight to see Jamie’s familiar form hunched over in front of Dani’s locker, the lines of her back coiled tight and unmoving. Sterling and Jackie hovered next to her, both wearing wry smirks. Huffing loudly, Dani marched over with a scowl until she was close enough to hear the tailend of Sterling’s remark.

“ — don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a couple of bucks.”

“Aren’t you forgetting that she can barely afford new clothes in the first place?” Jackie said with a cruel smirk, somehow already wearing a cheerleaders uniform, her hair pulled into a bouncy ponytail.

Clenching her teeth, Dani pushed her way in front of Jamie to face Jackie and Sterling, forcing her mouth into a thin smile. “Hi,” she said, an air of faux civility and sweetness to her voice, “Is there something you two needed?”

Neither of them seemed truly surprised to see her. Jackie rolled her eyes and said, “This act is getting a little old now, don’t you think?”

“I could say the same thing,” Dani said, nodding agreeably, her eyes sharp on them both. “Now, are you done? Or can we help you with something?”

Sterling shrugged. “Was just asking Taylor to borrow some cash for lunch,” he said, as though his family wasn’t one of the wealthiest in town, “Promised to pay her back, but she had to start kicking up a fuss about it — ”

“Ever stop to think about how she might have a good reason why?” Dani interrupted with a pointed glare, acutely aware that Jamie hadn’t so much as moved an inch and breathed a word behind her.

Expression darkening, Sterling took a step forward. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Jackie snorted. “Look at you, Clayton. Knight in shining armor,” she drawled, smirking as she crossed her arms and tilted her head at a mocking angle, “Your mom know you’re still playing babysitter to this loser? Or has she finally started regretting you being born yet?”

Dani’s knuckles went white around her books, her teeth clenched painfully tight as she felt her face and ears go red hot. A growl and metal clanging on metal sounded behind her. Before Dani could react to stop whatever violent reaction that was brewing from Jamie behind her, Roger’s tall frame stepped beside her.

“Hey, what are you guys still doing here?” Roger said, frowning at Sterling and Jackie, “We’re gonna be late for the lunch line.”

Dani blinked up at him, her jaw still wired tight, her breath shallow.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Sterling leaned heavily against the lockers and gestured towards Dani and Jamie. “I’m just trying to get some cash for extra, man.”

“By stealing it from us?” Dani grumbled.

“To borrow,” Jackie amended in an acerbic bite.

Dani raised her eyebrows and gave her a caustic smile. “I’m sure,” Dani said dryly, “Just like all the other times you borrowed our lunch money, right?”

Arching an eyebrow, Jackie looked to Roger. “Roger? Are you going to help us or what?”

Roger seemed to freeze in place, blinking down at Jackie and Sterling with a frown. Dani swallowed hard, any inkling of irate feeling sinking down the drain to be replaced with unease. Roger’s gaze darted towards Dani’s, holding it for a moment before flickering over her shoulder to Jamie, and to her surprise, she found a pool of shame dimming his eyes, his cheeks pink. He ducked his head briefly before pulling up straight to his full height, his shoulders pressed back and his expression hardened, looking very much like the same angry, violent boy he used to be. But instead of aiming it towards Dani and Jamie, he was looking directly at Sterling and Jackie.

“No,” Roger said, “I’m not.”

Jackie scoffed, wearing an incredulous smile. “Excuse me?”

“They’re not giving you any money. You’re wasting your time,” Roger replied, and crossing his arms, he added, “And mine.”

“Don’t be like that, man,” Sterling said, “I just need an extra five bucks or whatever.”

“If you want to clean out the schools stash of snacks that bad to resell later, then I’ll fucking buy it for you,” Roger said impatiently, “Now, can we go?”

Jackie rolled her eyes again. “Fine.”

Pushing off the lockers, Sterling grumbled something under his breath that only Jackie and Roger seemed to hear. Jackie snickered as Roger huffed, grabbing Sterling by the shoulders to frog march him firmly away. The trio left without another word, leaving Dani and Jamie to stare off after them as though the last five minutes never happened. Just as Dani was about to turn to check on Jamie, Roger glanced over his shoulder and gave Dani a faint apologetic grimace before disappearing around the corner. She blinked after him, blindsided once again.

Dani shook her head and spun around to face Jamie, eyes darting over her with a concerned frown, but Jamie wasn’t even paying her attention. She was hunched over the padlock that kept Dani’s locker securely shut, spinning the dial with jerky, agitated movements, her shoulders coiled taut, the muscles of her jaw sharp, and her brow darkly furrowed.

“Are you okay?” Dani asked, her hands twitching to reach out and grasp Jamie’s arm.

“What’s your bloody combination again?” Jamie muttered, pulling roughly on the lock, growling when it didn’t open, “Keep fuckin’ forgetting.”

Dani slowly wrapped a hand around Jamie’s wrist, and immediately Jamie’s hands went still and her shoulders slumped. With a sigh, Jamie eased aside and let Dani handle the combination.

“I’ll write it down for you later,” Dani murmured, pulling open the lock and swinging the locker open to shuffle around her various textbooks.

“Sure,” Jamie muttered, leaning her shoulder against the lockers. Dani caught her gaze and they exchanged small grins, but a faint hint of worry clouded Jamie’s eyes, “You all right? What Jackie said — Christ, I know she’s a cunt, but that was — ”

Dani huffed out a soft laugh. “Nothing I haven’t really heard from her before,” Dani said, shrugging when Jamie gave her a look. “Roger was unexpected though.”

Jamie snorted. “Sure.”

“Honestly kind of surprised you didn’t blow up at them this time.”

“Wanted to,” Jamie said darkly, glowering at the floor, “If you hadn’t shown up - or even bloody Roger - it wouldn’t have been pretty, believe me.”

Dani smiled softly at her. Ever since the brawl from two years ago, Jamie had been on a lengthy streak of good behavior at school, intent on keeping her promise of no more fighting to Nan this time. A surge of pride rushed through Dani, even as she watched Jamie shove her own books into Dani’s locker.

“You realize you have your own locker, right?”

“Yours is closest to the side entrance.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t realize you had a super special entrance to sneak in and out of it.”

“Excuse you, I have done nothing of the sort.”

“Yet.”

Grinning cheekily, Jamie winked. At Dani’s laugh, she chuckled with a pleased smile. “Hey, you want to come over after school? Got something to show you at home.”

“Oh? Is it a surprise?”

Jamie shrugged. “Something like that.”

Grinning, Dani gestured to the bag she had shoved earlier this morning into her locker. “Good thing I packed, then.”

Peeking inside, Jamie nodded with an impressed grin. “Thought ahead, have you? Girl after my own heart.”

Dani snorted. “Shut up.”

At that moment, Eddie marched up beside them. “Hey, there you guys are. We’re late for lunch.”

Jamie sighed. “Why’s everyone banging on about lunch today. Jesus.”

Eddie shot her a puzzled frown. “Because I’m hungry?”

With a conceding hum, Jamie nodded. “Fair point,” she said, and dug into her jean pockets for change, “I’m making a run to the corner store, you lot want anything?”

“Beef Jerky,” Eddie immediately answered.

“Can I come?” Dani asked in lieu of an answer.

Jamie shot her a teasing grin. “You going deaf now, too? I said ‘run’ to the store.” Rolling her eyes, Dani shoved her lightly into the lockers. Jamie laughed goodnaturedly. “All right, crisps and Toastettes it is.”

--

At the end of the day, while waiting for Jamie to unlock the chains securing her bike, Eddie gestured to the bag Dani had slung over her shoulder. “Are you going to Jamie’s again?”

At Dani’s nod, Eddie failed to conceal the disappointed slump of his shoulders and his frown. Guilt swirled in Dani’s stomach, knowing she hadn’t spent as much time as usual with Eddie since Mikey arrived, too enamoured and eager to help Nan and Jamie.

When Eddie didn’t say anything more, Dani dug in her bag and pulled out the two flyers she had gotten for him. “I got these for you though,” she said, holding them out to him, “I know you already had your sights on baseball and tennis, but I wasn’t sure if you saw these.”

Eddie’s expression softened as he took them and looked them over. “You remembered,” he murmured, looking up at her, his smile bordering between fond and awed.

Beside them, Jamie snorted. “Hard not too with the way you’ve been going on about the election and this Carter fellow.”

Pressing his mouth together, Eddie gave Jamie a look that she smirked at. He shook his head and turned back to Dani. “Thanks, Danielle,” he murmured, and then paused, his eyes darting between her own, frowning in the same way he usually did when trying to solve a complicated math equation. And then, without warning, he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek.

With the way her cheeks burned, Dani was sure she was just as red as Eddie as he quickly recoiled away, his eyes slightly wide. He roughly cleared his throat and began to stumble backwards, somewhat dazed.

“Talk to you guys later,” he said with a weak wave of his hand, and without waiting for a response, he spun around and speed walked away off campus down the block.

Dani was still blinking wide eyed after him when Jamie whistled low beside her. “Dunno about you, but that was like watching a car wreck in slow motion.” Huffing, Dani elbowed her hard in the ribs. Jamie grunted, jerking away into her bike, grumbling, “All right, you can just walk home, then.”

“Don’t,” Dani said, biting back an embarrassed laugh, “He was just being sweet.”

“Oh, he’s sweet on you, all right,” Jamie muttered as she hopped on her bike, and before Dani could even begin to process that, Jamie gestured behind her, “Hop on, we don’t have all day.”

After a moment of hesitation, Dani did as she was told. Patting Jamie’s shoulder when she was settled, Jamie promptly took off down the street in the direction towards the railway bungalow. On the way, they stopped to pick up takeout from Big Bill’s and about twenty minutes later of biking through suburbs and past fields of grass and corn, they reached Jamie’s home. She peddled them directly towards the back of the house where they hopped off, leaving the bike resting against the side of the house.

“Okay, where’s my surprise?” Dani asked, eyes darting around.

Chuckling, Jamie waved her over. “This way.”

Leaving her bag resting on the grass, Dani followed Jamie as she led her towards the trellis’ that bordered along the length of the house beneath the porch. It was a beloved spot of Nan’s to grow flowers, but this year she had bestowed Jamie the gift of trying her hand of growing her own from seed to colorful blossom. Despite the years Jamie spent helping Nan in the garden, working as her assistant for the more strenuous work of digging soil and ripping out weeds, Jamie had never gone without Nan’s guiding hand. For the longest time, Jamie had operated under the belief that Nan didn’t trust her to not kill her prized vegetable plots or flowerbeds, but this year had been a surprising change.

Every day since spring, Jamie had tended to her patch of flowers with more care and patience than what Dani was used to seeing, and when Dani neared the trellis, she knew the effort had been worth it. She gasped softly at what once had just been creeping vines and vibrant, heart-shaped green leaves was now bursting with an abundance of bright blue flowers in the shape of trumpets.

“Jamie,” she breathed, stepping closer, eyes wide in awe, “They’re beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Jamie murmured, hands deep in her pockets, appearing unusually shy, “Took their sweet time to bloom, but here they are: morning glories.”

Dani slowly reached out a hand to gently run her thumb across a blue petal, the texture smooth to the touch. “Jamie, this is amazing,” Dani said, smiling wide at her, “I’m so proud of you.”

A pink tint creeped across Jamie’s cheeks, and she ducked her head to hide it. “Thanks, Poppins,” she murmured with a shrug, “Just a bit of flowers.”

“Your first,” Dani said, her smile fond. “You should be proud.”

“Guess so,” Jamie said, finally looking up, grinning shyly at Dani.  

And just then, the back door swung open to reveal Nan with Mikey in her arms. “There you two are,” she said, and tisked when Mikey began to wiggle at the sight of them, “You daft numpty, d’you want to break your skull?”

With an exasperated sigh that only Dani could hear, Jamie bounded up the porch steps to take Mikey from Nan’s arms. “All right, quit your fussing about,” she said over his wordless whines until he settled comfortably against her shoulder, grasping at her necklace.

Nan harrumphed. “Made for each other, the both of you,” Nan said, shaking her head, “Been giving me trouble all day.”

As Jamie visibly struggled to refrain from scowling, a tight pinch at the corners of her mouth, Dani grabbed her bag and started towards them, smiling warmly at Mikey. “That doesn’t sound right, he’s an angel,” Dani said, lightly grasping his free hand for him to hold and swing around.

Jamie snorted. “Only when you’re around,” she said, gently pulling the chain from his hands just as he was about to pull it into his mouth, “Think he likes you more than he likes us.”

“Don’t be dumb,” Dani said, giving her a look, but when Mikey began to lean out of Jamie’s arms to reach toward Dani, Jamie arched an eyebrow at her. She breathed out a small embarrassed laugh and let Jamie take her bag for Mikey to reach his way over into her arms. She smiled warmly at him and kissed his cheek, “Hey, sweet thing.”

His response was to stare blankly at her, raising an inquisitive hand towards her face, his fingers poking at her jaw and cheek. She pulled his hand away where he then rested his head against her shoulder to gnaw at her shirt.

Jamie chuckled, and said to Nan, “See what I mean? Think we just leave him with her and call it a day?”

Nan glared witheringly at her. “You best watch yourself. I’ve had enough of your cheek to last me a bleeding lifetime,” she said, and turned to enter the house.

“Doesn’t bloody know how to take a joke,” Jamie grumbled under her breath, watching Nan go.

“She just needs some food,” Dani said with a teasing grin, “Isn’t that the way to a Taylor’s heart? Food and a nap?”

“She’s a Heron,” Jamie muttered, “Don’t think they have hearts.”

Dani gave Jamie an admonishing look and kicked at her shoe before following Nan inside. Slightly abashed, Jamie huffed behind her as they chucked off their shoes.

“We brought you food from Big Bill’s,” Dani said to Nan in the kitchen where she was at the sink cleaning a feeding bottle.

“Still trying to butter me up, I see,” Nan said without glancing her way, faint amusement in her tone.

“It was Jamie’s idea.”

Nan paused at that, silently arching an eyebrow at her. “That right?”

Jamie muttered something under her breath behind her, but nonetheless pulled the brown takeout bag from Dani’s bag where it was keeping warm and dropped it on the kitchen table that wobbled under the sudden shift of weight. Without looking at either of them, she pulled out a container from the takeout bag and left it on the table.

“Steak and potatoes,” Jamie murmured, and without another word, she marched back outside with both bags in hand.

At the sink, Nan pressed a hand to her hip and shook her head. “That bloody girl,” she said, voice free of her normal cross disposition, sounding more nonplussed than Dani’s ever heard her.

Dani offered her a faint smile, shifting Mikey more comfortably in her arms. Nan sighed and waved her off. Dani left her with one last smile and returned to the backyard to find that Jamie had spread out a blanket in the grass for an impromptu picnic, already in the midst of wolfing down her burger and fries. Dani plopped down next to her and let Mikey roam free on the blanket as she unwrapped her own burger. They ate silently together, listening to the soft breeze blowing through the trees and tall grass in the fields surrounding the property. Jamie finished before her, as she usually did, balling up her empty wrapper and used napkins back in the bag before lying down with her head perpendicular to Dani's crossed legs.

“That’s not good for you, you know?” Dani said in between bites, “Lying down after eating.”

Jamie waved her off, her eyes closed. “I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it later.”

Dani smiled fondly down at her, making sure to keep an eye on Mikey as he wobbled and rolled on his stomach and sides. When she finished eating and cleaned up, she reached inside her overnight bag and pulled out Jamie’s pamphlets.

“I got these for you,” Dani said, resting them on Jamie’s chest.

Jamie peaked her eyes open, picking up the flyers to look them over, and grinned wryly. “Thought you’d forgotten about me with these.”

Though there was no bite to the words, Dani still frowned at her. “I wouldn’t forget you.”

Jamie chuckled softly. “I know,” she said, and waggled the flyers in Dani’s direction, “But you’re forgetting track starts in spring.”

“But there’s cross country in the fall,” Dani said, pulling down the track and field flyer to reveal the cross country one beneath.

“Cross country is a whole other animal.”

Absentmindedly grasping at strands of Jamie’s hair and starting to braid it, Dani said, “Mr. Roberts did say you were the best runner he’s seen in years. Don’t you remember him saying something weird once about you having fast feet to make up for your height?”

Jamie swatted at Dani’s leg. “Shut it,” Jamie grumbled as Dani laughed, “Besides, Roberts also once said I was the bane to his existence, so y’know, pinch of salt.”

“At least think about it? I just - I know you’d be really good at it,” Dani said.

Catching her eyes, a lingering tension around Jamie’s eyes softened and she slowly smiled, “Fine,” she said, “I’ll think about it.”

With a pleased, wide smile, Dani affectionately and gently tugged on the braid she’d been working on. Jamie’s head followed the movement and she sighed goodnaturedly, swiping away Dani’s hand.

“What about you, Miss Overachiever?” Jamie asked, “Still thinking of joining those mad amounts of clubs you mentioned.”

“Probably,” Dani shrugged noncommittally with a small frown, tearing her eyes from Jamie briefly to watch Mikey who had somehow managed to crawl near the edge of the blanket, trying not to think about the one club she didn’t stop to contemplate, “Not all of them, though.”

They were silent for a moment, until Jamie nudged her in the leg. “Hey,” she murmured, drawing Dani’s eyes back to her, “What’s with the face?”

“What face?”

“Your ‘thinking too hard’ face.”

Dani didn’t respond for a long moment, until she softly said, “Mom wants me to join the cheerleading squad.”

Blinking up at her, eyes wide, Jamie said, “She does remember you’ve got lungs like a dried grape, right?”

“Who do you think buys my inhaler prescriptions?” Dani laughed, then sobered, “I just - she was one when she was in high school. I guess she just - she wants the tradition to pass on.”

Jamie went quiet again, wearing a considering frown. “Well, she’s shit out of luck,” she said finally, “As intriguing as the sight of you in a cheerleader uniform is, I don’t need you dropping dead on me from an unfortunate and avoidable asthma attack.”

With a roll of her eyes, Dani flicked her in the head. Jamie laughed and swiped her hand away again.

“You know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Jamie said.

“I know.”

“I’ll have a go at your mum if I have to.”

Dani laughed. “I know.”

“Good,” Jamie said, grinning impishly, “Just s’long as you know.”

They fell silent again, enjoying the quiet and Mikey’s murmured babbling. At the sound, Dani looked up at him and slowly cringed.

“Jamie?”

“Mm?”

“I think Mikey’s eating grass again.”

Jamie shot up to her feet from the blanket like a compressed spring let loose. “For fuck’s sakes,” she grumbled and pulled Mikey up to reveal that indeed, there were strands of grass stuck to his mouth and clutched in his tiny fist.

Dani laughed quietly as Jamie strode past her to delve back inside the house without a backwards glance, fussing over Mikey and brushing away grass from his mouth and hands, grumbling the entire time.

“You keep this shit up, and I’m not bringing you with me to the garden again, d’you hear me?” Mikey babbled in response. “Oh, yeah? Try me, see what happens. No bullshit, I will feed you to the vultures.”

Even as they disappeared inside the house, Dani could still hear Jamie’s muffled voice through the open windows and screen door, scolding Mikey the entire time. She smiled wide to herself, a surge of fond warmth spreading through her as she laid down on her back and listened. While waiting for their return, Dani pulled out Valley of the Dolls from her bag and read a few passages in the interim. After making it three pages further in, she heard the screen door swing open once more and dropped the book to her stomach to crane her neck to see Jamie quietly murmuring to Mikey as she showed him her morning glories.

Dani smiled softly at them, curiously watching as Jamie snipped a single bloom from the vines with a pair of shears, tucking the bloom in Mikey’s collar and tossing the shears onto the porch with a thud. Jamie didn’t meet her eyes as she returned with Mikey to the blanket, sitting cross legged and placing Mikey next to her. In addition to the morning glory tucked in his shirt, he now adorned a pale blue striped sun hat with a ribbon tied under his chin to keep it in place.

“The kid has something for you,” Jamie murmured with a faint smile.

Chuckling, Dani plucked the blue flower from Mikey’s shirt and brought it to her nose, grinning wide as she inhaled its sweet scent. “Thank you, Mikey,” she said, looking directly at Jamie as she smoothed a hand over Mikey’s back as he began to squirm away again. “You really didn’t have to do that, you know.”

Jamie ducked her head and shrugged. “Wanted to.”

Smiling to herself, Dani took one last smell of the blossom and inserted the stem into the pages of her book next to her bookmark. She folded the book shut, careful not to press on the petals. Setting the book aside, she tilted her head up to Jamie, watching her absently pull at grass as she looked off into the distance.

“You know what’s super funny?” Dani asked. Jamie grunted to indicate she was listening. “You sounded exactly like Nan just now.”

Jamie shot her a dirty look and Dani burst out laughing.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Jamie groused, flinging tufts of grass over Dani, “I snip off one of my hard earned flowers for you, and this is how you repay me?”

“I said it with love?”

“Uh huh. You’re just as bad as him,” Jamie said, jerking her head towards Mikey with a scowl.

“He’s just a baby, he’s not that bad,” Dani said, “He’ll get better once he grows a little more.”

“Oh, sure, and the bigger he gets the more we run out of room,” Jamie said, gesturing broadly towards the house, and groaned, lying down on her back to rest her head on Dani’s stomach and mumbled, “Barely had enough room as it is.”

Dani chuckled, reaching up to pat Jamie’s head, and ending up running her fingers through tangled curly hair.

“I see what you’re doing and it’s not working,” Jamie said, her voice already languid as Dani gently ran her nails over her scalp.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

They fell silent again, watching the clouds and a plane pass overhead, leaving a long trail of water vapor behind.

“If you could have any kind of house you wanted, what would it be?” Dani asked.

Jamie huffed. “Silly question, inn’it.”

“Simple one, really.”

Jamie was quiet for a long moment, the silence filled with Mikey wandering back towards Jamie to rest against her chest. Peering down, Dani watched fondy as Jamie seemed to absentmindedly bring her hand up to run it over his back as he cooed and babbled. Finally, Jamie murmured, “Hard to see myself anywhere but here to be honest.”

“Really?” Jamie hummed affirmatively. “Not even just to make something up?”

Jamie shook her head and grinned faintly up at her. “What would be the point? S’never gonna happen anyways.” Dani opened her mouth to reply, but couldn’t find the words, not really knowing what to say. Seeing this, Jamie gave her a reassuring smile. “What about you? Any dream houses on your mind?”

“Nothing special, I guess,” she said, shrugging and mulling it over. “Two floors, maybe. White exterior. Blue shutters. A corner to read in with a big comfy chair and shelves for my books. A garden in the backyard like this one. An office space to work in. Room to have friends and family over.” She paused, worrying at her lower lip, her fingers twisting gently in Jamie’s hair. “I’d want it to be warm and welcoming. To smell clean like flowers and fresh laundry, and be a safe space for anyone who needs it.”

“Christ, you’ve really thought about it, huh?”

“No. Not really.”

“Must’ve come from somewhere.”

“Maybe.”

The screen door swung open with a creak along with the tap of a cane against wood, and they both craned their heads to see Nan on the porch watching them with an expression Dani couldn’t read, blank save for the faint furrow of her brows and tilt of her head. “I’ve got a pot brewing, loves,” she said, her voice abnormally soft, “Pop him in his crib and come get a cuppa when you’re ready.”

And without another word, she returned inside the house, the screen door banging behind her. Peering back down, Dani saw that Mikey had fallen asleep on Jamie’s chest and that Jamie was watching him with a faint look of panicked wonder. As though feeling Dani’s stare, Jamie’s eyes darted up to her and the expression promptly vanished.

“Not a word,” Jamie grumbled, carefully gathering Mikey in her arms and sitting up.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dani replied with a grin, already reaching inside her bag for her polaroid.

--

It was a rare day when Judy came over to Dani's house. Yet when Dani put on her shoes and called out her goodbyes on the way out, Judy had said she would walk her across the street.

Dani blinked up at her in confusion. "It's okay, Mrs. O'Mara. It's not far. I walk alone all the time. And Jamie walks to school by herself."

"Now, don't get me started on that," Judy warned, leaning over to pull on a pair of flats. "Anyway, I need to give back your mother's salad bowl."

Wondering why Judy didn't just give it to her for transportation across the street, Dani shrugged and waited. The boys had gone off to their various extracurricular activities, leaving her with little to do in their absence unless she wanted to trudge halfway across town to Jamie's house. Tempting an idea though that was, her mother had given strict instructions for Dani to be back home by five and it would take forty minutes to make it all the way to the railway cottage on foot. Another time, maybe. Another night.

Judy disappeared into the kitchen briefly — bang of cupboards and sauce pans — until she reemerged with the aforementioned salad bowl and a tupperware container full of leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Dani eyed the tupperware with puzzlement until Judy pressed it into her hands and made shooing motions towards the front door.

Bemused, Dani shuffled out of the house and across the street with Judy at her side. She tested the handle of her own front door, determined she did not need her key, and ushered Judy inside with a murmured, "Come in."

"You're late," her mother's voice called out from the distant kitchen.

Shoulders hunching, Dani winced. She started when she felt Judy's hand on her back and glanced up in surprise when Judy lifted her voice, "Sorry, Karen! My fault! She was helping me clean up!"

There was the squeal of a chair being pushed back followed by footsteps, and Karen walked into the living room still wearing her work clothes. The blouse was untucked slightly from her skirt and her hair had slipped somewhat free of its usual bun, giving her a rumpled relaxed appearance. Her pale eyes moved between Judy and Dani before she smiled thinly and gestured them forward.

"You didn't need to walk her over, Judy."

"It's fine," Judy insisted as she continued further into the house. "Really. I wanted to give this back to you."

Karen took the glass-etched bowl that Judy held out to her. "Well, thank you. That's very kind. Would you like to stay for a drink?"

"Oh," said Judy. "Yes. Sure. Just a small glass."

Dani watched this interaction in silence. She still stood by the entryway, hand holding the door open. When her mother gave her a look, Dani ducked her head and shut it, careful to not make too loud a noise. Quiet hitch of the latch. By the time she removed her shoes and arranged them neatly by the door, her mom and Judy had already disappeared into the kitchen. They didn't even glance in her direction when she came in after them. Making a beeline for the fridge, Dani stored the container of food in the back for later, hiding it behind a shuffle of condiment jars.

Her mother was reaching into a cabinet for another glass and a fresh bottle of red. An empty bottle already stood beside the sink. From Dani's position by the refrigerator, she could see several more clustered on the floor, hidden behind cabinetry and in front of the door leading to the garage. Conquests from earlier in the week.

Shutting the fridge door, Dani mumbled, "I'm going to go read in my room."

"Okay, sweetie," Judy replied brightly, though she was idly tilting her head to read the front page of the newspaper sprawled across the square dining table.

On her way past, Dani paused. "Um -?" she hesitated, glancing at her mom, who was twisting the cork free from the neck, and then at Judy. "Can I come over again tomorrow?"

The cork came free with an expert pop. Her mother's mouth opened to speak, but before she could do so Judy smiled and said, "Of course, you can."

Dani's eyes darted to her mother, but Karen was merely pouring healthy glugs of burgundy wine into the two glasses. Not waiting to be denied this opportunity, Dani quickly slipped away. She retreated up the stairs, only to stop at the very top. There, she turned back around and crept back down a few more steps, avoiding all the boards that creaked and groaned, until she sat atop her favored step, where the sounds of the kitchen and living room could be heard best.

"I'm sorry she's such a bother," she heard her mother saying. "I keep telling her that she can't spend too much time over at your house. That you have other things to do."

"Nonsense. She's always welcome," said Judy, sounding like she actually meant it. "The boys love her. And besides, I appreciate having a little more estrogen around the place."

"If you say so," Karen murmured. There was a pause, a chair being moved, followed by, "I don't know how you do it, honestly. Four boys? Most days I don't know what to do with one girl."

Judy laughed. "Well, Mike's a godsend, let me tell you."

"Mmm," Karen hummed around a sip of wine, a sound that was all too familiar. "Definitely would be easier with someone else to lighten the load. Sam wasn't the best candidate for the job — not by a long shot — but at least he kept her occupied."

There followed a pause, then Judy asking almost too softly to overhear, "Does she talk about him much?"

At that Karen snorted. "No. Thank God. Though for the first year after he died it was 'Dad this' and 'Dad that.' Like he was still around to give her permission or excuses."

"Kids," said Judy, "can bounce back pretty quick, but they still need time to adjust. And she's adjusted just fine, by the looks of things."

"Better than I have, if I'm being honest," Karen said. Clink of glass against the table. "Sometimes I still come across his things around the house. Right when I least expect it. When I’ve thought I’ve finally forgotten all about him. Then suddenly there’s little pieces of him scattered around like — I don’t know. And then it’s like he never left.”

Judy's answer was gentle. "You're doing great. And, you know, Danielle isn't the only one welcome to come over when she wants company."

Dani couldn't remember the last time she'd heard her mother laugh — really laugh — even if it was wobbly, weak, even if her words were already starting to slur slightly. Karen cleared her throat, then Dani could hear the familiar sound of another glass of wine being drained and poured.

Shuffle of the newspaper beneath a set of hands. "Is this today's?" Judy asked.

Karen hummed, the noise rounded as it echoed in a glass.

"Is it baseball season yet? I can never keep track." Judy turned a few pages of the paper. "The boys have been driving me mad at the house this summer, and Mike promised to take them to a game."

"Never was one for sports," said Karen. "Did you read about the latest news from the Courts?"

"No?"

"Well, I have a friend who's a clerk there. You know Graham?"

Crinkle of the page and a noise from Judy indicating that she did indeed know a man by that name.

"At the gardens a few weeks ago," Karen continued and Dani's stomach swooped at the memory of the corporate function at the botanical gardens, "we got to talking about this Pilcher case."

"The sodomy one?"

"Yes, that one."

"I thought it'd already passed? Reynoldson was pretty clear about it."

"Well, Graham says that they're already slammed with appeals. Says that it's just a matter of time until they repeal more than that."

For a moment there was silence. Dani had very little idea what they were talking about — she made a mental note to look up the word ‘sodomy’ later, or perhaps ask Nan — but she listened for any clues.

“I don’t see how that has much to do with us,” Judy said.

“Soon they’ll be teaching queer nonsense in schools, and then it will have something to do with us.”

“They’re teenagers, Karen. The twins are turning seventeen this year — God help me. You remember what that was like. You think they don’t already have some idea of that kind of thing?”

“If they do,” her mother said in those cool clipped tones, “then it’s because of bad influences. And if it’s been taught, then it can be untaught.”

Judy sighed. “I suppose. Thank you for the wine. I should probably get back. I left Mike to finish prepping dinner, but I’ll need to make sure the kitchen isn’t on fire.”

Karen’s answering laugh had returned to the usual stiff and reedy variety that lacked any real joy. There was the scrape of chairs and the rustle of the newspaper pages against the wooden tabletop.

“Oh, no. You don’t have to,” said Judy. “I can show myself out.”

“You sure?”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you on Sunday!”

Footsteps down the hall. Judy came into view at the bottom of the stairs as she walked towards the front door. Dani was frozen in place like a deer in the headlights. She held her breath and remained still, as if moving would draw the attentions of a shark parting the waters. Judy paused at the base of the steps to glance over her shoulder back towards the kitchen, patting at the rear pocket of her jeans to check for keys, but she stopped when she caught sight of Dani further up the stairs, crouched and wide-eyed.

Dani’s heart pounded in her chest. It had been years since she’d been caught eavesdropping. Scampering up the stairs at the last second always ended badly. Flight was as good as proof of guilt.

Judy lifted her hand in a brief wave and offered Dani an anemic smile. When Dani did not return them, Judy continued on her way and she was gone.

--

Dani heard a tap at her window. She ignored it. Just that old tree branch that had grown too close and brushed up against the side of the house when there was a breeze. She wished her mother would hire an arborist to come trim it, but knew she would probably be the one to go over to the O'Mara household and ask to use some tools to do it herself. Most likely Eddie and Jamie would leap at the opportunity to help. And maybe Carson, though chances were he would just stand by Dani's side while they craned their necks and watched the other two risk life and limb to do this menial task.

Another tap. Louder this time. Heavier. Dani frowned and rolled over in bed. The air was utterly still and the tree branch was unmoving. She blinked, startled, when the tap came again and she saw something plink against the window and fall back towards the ground. Throwing off the sheets, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and crossed the room to open the window and poke her head out into the night air.

"Took you long enough. Bloody hell."

Dani gripped the windowsill and hissed, "What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Jamie gestured to the ground around her. "Hurry up and come down."

"What?" Dani said, incredulous, and froze when she thought she heard the floorboards creak outside her room. She held her breath, looking over her shoulder and listening to her mother stumble past. Karen was murmuring to herself the way she did when she’d indulged in one glass too many.

Dani should have checked on her. She should have checked for the smoking butts of cigarettes between the couch cushions. She should have cleaned up the mess of a kitchen. Wine-dark rings on the table. The residue of a glass and stem.

Instead, she turned back to the window and said in a low voice, "Give me a sec."

Gripping the hem of her nightgown, Dani pulled it over her head and tossed it onto the bed as she crossed the room. She opened a chest of drawers and tugged on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweater. She was pulling her hair back with a hair tie when she cautiously opened her bedroom door and, as quietly as she could, shut it behind her and sneaked down the stairs. She held her breath the whole way down and carried her shoes in her hands out the front door.

Jamie had moved around the house and was sitting on the stoop. She twisted round when Dani sat beside her. "Don't know why you're so nervous," she said. "Your mum sleeps like the dead after she's had a few."

Sighing, Dani pulled on her shoes. "Wish Nan slept that soundly. If she finds out you're out tonight -"

"She won't," Jamie said.

Dani paused in the act of lacing up her shoes to give Jamie a significant look.

Jamie rolled her eyes. "She had a glass of sherry. Plus, Mikey’s been driving her mad the last few evenings. She’ll be out like a light tonight."

"Hmm." Dani finished the final lace and leaned her elbows on her knees. "So, what are we doing?"

With a devilish grin, Jamie held up a set of keys and shook them. "Care for a drive?"

Dani's eyes widened. "You didn't."

"I did."

"She's going to be so angry."

"Only if she finds out."

Dani arched an eyebrow. In retaliation, Jamie knocked their ankles together. "C'mon. I bought us tickets and everything."

"Tickets? To what?" Dani asked, but Jamie was already standing and offering her hand, and Dani was taking it, allowing herself to be hauled to her feet and dragged along to the street.

"One of those outdoor picture theatres," Jamie said. She let go of Dani's hand when they reached the run down old truck that Nan had bought off of a local farmer when they'd first moved to town. Rounding the truck to yank open the driver's seat door — nobody ever locked their car doors in North Liberty; most people hardly locked their front doors in North Liberty — Jamie said, "Said you wanted to go to one of those, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did," said Dani, pulling open the passenger's side and sliding up into the high seat. "But I didn't think anyone was listening at the time."

"Well, I was." Jamie slammed her door shut and stuck the key into the ignition before buckling up. She glanced over at Dani to check she had her own seat belt on, then stamped on the clutch and turned the key. The engine sputtered to life. Jamie flicked on the headlights, put the truck into gear, and pulled away from the curb as though she'd done this a thousand times and not only twenty.

"Have you and Mike been practising without me?" Dani asked, watching the smooth ease with which Jamie shifted gears.

"Nah," said Jamie, not taking her eyes off the empty road. "Nan's been having me drive her places. Says her leg's been acting up."

"Ah, yes. The old war wound," Dani said dryly.

Jamie snorted derisively. "What rubbish. Probably just got trod on by a horse, the daft cow."

"You're very brave when she's not within earshot."

"So're you, you fuckin' hypocrite."

Dani grinned, letting herself settle into the worn seats, the old leather cracked with age and overexposure to sunlight. Whereas her mother's car was always a warren of old wrapping papers and receipts, loose pages and empty water bottles that smelled of vodka, Nan's truck was incredibly tidy. There was nothing to tangle up around Dani's feet when she stretched out her legs. An air freshener in the shape of a pine tree dangled from the rear view mirror, and there were tell tale signs of a rag that had been used to dust the dashboard. Jamie's handiwork at Nan's insistence, no doubt.

"Where is this place anyway?" Dani asked as Jamie shifted into fifth and sped up on the motorway. The ground was eaten up by the tires. The glow of the stars was faint compared to the glare of the truck's headlights parting the gloom.

“Grandview.”

“Grandview?” Dani repeated. “That’s, like, an hour away!”

“I promise to get you home before dawn,” Jamie drawled.

"You'd better. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin."

Jamie snickered. "Awfully cute pumpkin, though."

Dani pushed Jamie's hand off the gear stick. "Shut up."

Jamie let her hand be shoved aside, using the momentum to reach for the radio and flick it on. "Find us something, won't you?"

Dutifully, Dani leaned forward and began fiddling with the dial, sliding through frequencies until she landed on a station. "This one all right?"

Jamie shrugged and rested her hand back on the gear stick. "Your choice, inn’it?"

"Yeah, but I want to make sure you like it, too."

Turning her head quickly, Jamie flashed her an indulgent smile before staring out at the dark stretch of straight road before them. "Long as you're enjoying yourself, I don't mind much. Any music's fine."

For a moment, Dani said nothing. She let the grind of guitars play out for a few seconds, then reached out for the radio again, turning the dial until she found a pop station she actually liked. She furtively checked for a reaction, but all Jamie did was tap along to the rhythm against the steering wheel.

The inside of the truck was boiling, but neither of them bothered with the air conditioning. Dani cracked the passenger side window and leaned her head against the frame to let the warm August air pull across her face. Jamie already had her window rolled down, one elbow leaning against the open gap while she steered with one hand. Dani did not realize she was staring at the way Jamie's messy brown curls were tousled by the fast-moving air, until Jamie stole a glance over at her and grinned.

"See something you like?"

Dani smiled and looked back down the stretch of road before them. "You wish."

Jamie did not answer. Instead, she leaned forward and turned up the volume until the music drowned out the rush of the night air. Dani tucked a stray curl of blonde hair behind her ear and studied the roil of clouds in the sky. The night was humid and tense, as though the heavens were holding their breath in anticipation.

"Should be a big storm," Dani said idly over the music.

Jamie hummed, then replied, "Paper reckons it'll break on the weekend."

"You sure this isn't one of your hare-brained schemes to chase storms again?"

Jamie rolled her eyes. "If it were, I'd've dragged you out tomorrow instead."

To this Dani conceded with a shrug and nod. Outside there called a roll of distant thunder across the plains, but no matter how much Dani craned her neck she couldn't see any lightning.

By the time Jamie pulled off highway 61 and turned down a few back roads, they had switched radio stations three times in search of songs to sing along to. Music blared from the open windows as they drove along, dust and laughter and mismatched singing curling in the wake of the truck's tires. Dani turned down the volume when she saw a big screen looming over a field, its surface already flickering with light.

"Are we late?" Dani asked.

Jamie turned over her wrist to check her battered old watch. "Nah. Two minutes. Tops. Right on time, really."

A bored-looking man at a farm gate checked the tickets Jamie handed over with a flashlight. He shone the light in their faces, and Dani flinched away from the sudden brightness.

"This is an R rated movie, Miss," he said.

"Yup," said Jamie. "Knew that when I bought the tickets."

For a moment Dani was afraid he was going to ask them for some form of identification, but then he just shrugged and pulled open the gate. Jamie gave him a lazy wave as they passed, which he returned, shutting the gate behind them.

Dani was still blinking purple spots from her vision when she leaned forward in her seat. "Jamie."

"Hmm?"

"What movie are we seeing?"

"The only movie that was playing," said Jamie. "Carrie."

Dani's brows furrowed in thought as she tried to recall the premise of the movie. She vaguely remembered seeing an ad in the paper with the title, but she hadn't seen a trailer.

A horror film, she knew. The last time she had seen a horror film, Tommy and David had made them watch The Exorcist in the basement. Carson had spent practically the whole time with his eyes covered by a pillow. Eddie had pretended to be unaffected, but every now and then he would grip Dani's hand and his jaw would clench as he swallowed. For her part, Dani kept waiting to be scared, waiting to feel the same thrill of fear that so clearly gripped the others, only to be vaguely disappointed when the anticipation was greater than the punchline. Or the pea soup, as it were.

"You all right with scary movies?" Jamie asked as she backed into a space beside a row of other already parked vehicles and killed the engine.

"They're okay. I haven't seen many," Dani answered honestly. "I think a better question is: why are we parked backwards?”

With a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows Jamie reached over the back of the seat into the cramped storage compartment between them and the base of the truck's bed. After a bit of rummaging around, she pulled out a pillow and a blanket. "Let's go," Jamie said, jerking her head towards the bed behind them. "I think it's about to start."

Grinning, Dani opened the passenger door and followed Jamie around the back of the truck. Jamie had already hopped out and opened the tray so that they could clamber up inside. It had been swept clean, not a speck of dirt to be found by Nan's critical eye. Jamie tossed down the pillow against the back and sat, peeling back the blanket to leave a clear space beside her. Dani took it without a hint of hesitation, pulling half of the blanket over herself and wriggling closer to Jamie so they could share.

The film had already been running for a few seconds. They’d missed the opening producer’s logo. On screen a group of girls was playing volleyball at school, and all of them were blaming the titular character for being bad at sports and making them lose.

Jamie nudged her side gently. “Didn’t know they made this movie about you, Poppins.”

Dani nudged her back not as gently. “Shut up.”

Jamie just snickered. As the title sequence began to roll across the visual of a locker room, Jamie pointed up at the screen. “Think I saw a tit,” she said.

Dani rolled her eyes. “Is that all you think about?”

Unabashed, Jamie just shrugged. “Usually. Yeah.”

Water and blood was running down a girl’s naked thigh on screen, but Dani hardly noticed. She was too preoccupied by the way Jamie's legs tangled up in her own, both of them wearing shorts. Skin against warm skin. When Dani rearranged her ankles to a more comfortable position, Jamie didn't even glance over at her, simply shifted so that Dani's calves were between both of her own, the two settling against one another. One of their shoulders overlapped. Dani could feel part of Jamie's chest rise against the base of her shoulder blade with every inhalation.

"Is this comfortable?" Dani murmured.

Jamie shot her a quick grin. “Yeah. ‘Course. You?”

Dani nodded. On screen Carrie was in the principal’s office, clutching folders and papers to her chest. “Wish I got a week off of gym class,” Dani said under her breath.

Jamie laughed and Dani could feel every movement. “At least your mum’s not as nutty as this one.”

Dani hummed in agreement but said nothing and the film rolled on. Most of what Dani knew of horror films involved chainsaws and sharks and priests chanting Latin at possessed girls. To her, chainsaws were useful tools. Sharks were all but nonexistent apart from a concept that involved distant oceans. And she had yet to come across a possession no matter how many times Jamie claimed Jackie Pullman was the Antichrist.

This was different. This was a quiet suburban district. This was familiar hairstyles. Familiar midwestern accents and familiar clothes. A school that might as well have been filmed on their own campus, and the kind of crude bullying classmates that made her wince. A mother dragging a daughter through the kitchen and locking her into a closet until she screamed, pounded at the door with fists and wails, voice raw, begging to be let out until she broke. Tremor and prayer and—

“Hey.”

Jamie’s voice jerked Dani from the screen. She was tense all over and squeezing Jamie’s hand tight enough that her own bones creaked.

“Sorry,” Dani mumbled. She tried to pull her hand away, but Jamie held her fast and warm.

“We can go,” said Jamie. “If you want. We can just go.”

Dani’s eyes darted back up to the screen, but the scene had passed. Mrs. White was accepting a kiss on the cheek from her daughter before bed and Carrie was crying into her own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

They could leave. It didn’t matter that Dani had been wanting to go to an outdoor picture theatre for the pure novelty of it. It wasn’t about watching a movie. Jamie would laugh it off and drive them back without even making Dani feel bad about it. They could take the long way home. They could wend their way back, lazy as you please, letting the August wind guide them. She could watch the way Jamie's hair caught the breeze, the way her face was lit up by the rare passing car. She didn't need an excuse to drive with Jamie for hours with no destination in mind, nowhere to be tomorrow, nothing but road ahead and road behind, long and straight as far as the eye could see.

Still, Dani shook her head. “It’s fine,” she insisted. “This is fine.”

In the night, in the soft light of the large screen stretching over a field, Jamie’s eyes were dark. The faintest glint of the screen reflected when she blinked, studying Dani’s face, her own expression inscrutable. Then Jamie smiled. "Right, then."

She shifted and for a brief moment Dani thought she was going to pack them up to leave regardless, but Jamie only moved around enough so that she could slip her arm around Dani's back, her hand lingering at Dani's waist. "Offer still stands," Jamie said. "Whenever you like."

There was a snarky remark on the tip of Dani's tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Not when Jamie was being sweet. She relaxed against Jamie’s arm with a sigh, letting her head lean against Jamie’s shoulder as they settled in for the rest of the movie. The premise only got more ridiculous. Somehow it was better with the supernatural elements. Less real. Carrie moving things with her mind. Carrie being less of a girl and more of a spectre. Dani actually had to bite her lip to hold back a snort when the bucket of blood dropped on her prom date and knocked him clean out on the floor.

“Bit silly,” Jamie said with a huff of laughter. She was a line of warmth against Dani’s flank. Her hand hadn’t moved from its spot at Dani’s waist in what must have been an hour.

“It’s the hose that gets me,” Dani said, miming it with her hand in Jamie’s face. When Dani dared to tap at Jamie’s nose, Jamie stuck out her tongue and Dani jerked her hand back with an amused squeak. Flames leapt up the twenty foot tall screen, shrouding Carrie in gruesome reds, but Dani was too busy wriggling away from Jamie's treacherous prodding at just the right place on her side that always made her squirm.

The first drop of rain splattered against the blanket and at first Dani thought it was a moth attracted by the soft light. The next drop of rain however landed on the back of her arm. She jerked, looking up at the sky. At first the sound of rain falling was drowned out by the shrill shriek of violins, but a flash of lightning and the roll of thunder was impossible to miss.

“Weekend my flat arse,” Jamie swore, sounding more like Nan than ever as she and Dani both scrambled from the bed of the truck.

“Pillow!” Dani pointed even as she carried the blanket in her own arms.

Swearing again — the rain was coming thick and fast now — Jamie stood on the tire so she could reach into the truck bed and snatch up the pillow. They clambered back into the truck, drenched and laughing. Jamie’s hair was plastered to her face and neck like trails of black ink, and Dani raked a hand through her own hair to get it away from her face.

“This is better than the end of the movie anyway,” Jamie said with a broad grin. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her white shirt might as well have been invisible from the way it clung to her frame.

Dani reached out and plucked at the sleeve of her t-shirt, laughing, “You look like you just jumped into a lake.”

“Think you’re any better off?” Jamie asked. She winked, brushing Dani’s hand off so she could start the engine. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here.”

Rain pummeled the roof of the truck in a steady downpour broken only by the occasional flash and crack of the sky overhead. Jamie nursed the truck along, leaning forward in her seat and craning her neck for a glimpse of lightning forking across the sky in favor of speeding down the road, while Dani rubbed the wet from her hair with whatever dry parts of the blanket she could find.

“Do I really look that bad?” Dani asked.

“You saying I look bad?”

Glancing over, Dani let her eyes wander across the stretch of wet fabric across Jamie’s shoulders. “No,” she said, clearing her throat. Then she added, “The jeans are uncomfortable though.”

With a grimace, Jamie shifted in her seat and tugged at the line of her too short jeans with her spare hand. “True that. Should’ve worn a skirt.”

“You don’t own a skirt.”

“Just because you haven’t seen me wear a skirt,” said Jamie. “Doesn’t mean I don’t own a skirt.”

“I want to see it when we get back.”

“Tomorrow,” Jamie said. “And you’ll make me cups of tea for a week as payment for when you lose.”

Dani stuck out her hand. “Shake on it.”

Gamely — and careful not to take her eyes off the road — Jamie reached out and shook Dani’s hand. As Dani was about to retract it however, Jamie tightened her hold with a grin. “And what do you want if you win?”

“Is this your way of saying you don’t actually own a skirt?” Dani asked, and she teased at the soft underside of Jamie’s wrist with the tips of her fingers.

Jamie tangled their fingers together to get her to stop. “No. It’s my way of asking what you want to do next time.”

Smiling, Dani said, “See another movie?”

“Done.”

Jamie shook her hand firmly once more, then let her go.

--

here take some memes

[chadillacboseman]

Black Deer

Ben raised the butt of his rifle to his shoulder and peered through the scope. Atop the hill to the West, he could see a large whitetail buck, its dark body just barely visible through the heavy thicket of weeds. It moved slowly, purposefully, lowering its head to feed with almost rhythmic precision. With the sun behind it, it looked almost as if it was a black shadow among the weeds.

He lowered his rifle and cradled it, pausing for a moment to think. This buck was old, judging by the size of its antlers; with age would come wisdom, born from years of being hunted every season. Ben knew that the moment he snapped an errant twig or the wind changed out of his favour, the buck would be gone in an instant. The sun was already beginning to disappear- bathing the field in a fiery orange glow. He knew he had less than an hour to make the kill before the season closed and he would be forced to leave empty handed.

With his rifle still cradled, Ben began the slow trek toward the hill. He kept his eyes tuned to the top, watching the buck's antlers appear and disappear periodically as it continued to feed. As he came to the top of a small rise in the landscape, he paused again and raised the scope to his eye, training the crosshairs onto the buck's body, just behind the shoulder blade. The familiar pre-shot rush sent the blood pounding into his ears-

"Squeeze, don't pull" his father's voice echoed in his mind.

The insects in the field seemed louder than ever- their feverish hum like the crescendo of a symphony piece.

"Squeeze, don't pull-"

Had the insects always been so loud?

Ben exhaled and squeezed the trigger.

The buck reared at the moment of impact, then dropped where it stood. His ears were ringing ("don't forget your ear plugs- hearing don't come back, boy") and his hands shook. He bent down to collect the empty .308 shell from the grass and wrapped the rifle sling over his shoulder. He paused for a moment- the field around him had gone quiet; the insects had stopped their symphony and the wind had ceased entirely. Ben suddenly became very aware of his own breathing- now the loudest thing in the dead air around him.

For a moment, he was overcome with the feverish urge to run. To leave the buck and leave that field. To sprint to his truck, get in, and never look back--

But he didn't.

Instead, he began the hike to the top of the hill through the now stagnant and silent air of the field. "Look at yourself- this is pathetic. Of course the field got quiet- you just shot your rifle." He wanted to laugh- it was amazing what a stint alone in a field could do to you. He remembered his first hunting trip with his father- how the old man's rugged hand had clapped him on the back after he had dropped the grazing doe in the woods. There were no words exchanged, but he had known his father was proud of him.

"And what would your father think of you now, Ben?"

He froze in his tracks, the blood throbbing in his ears. Had he imagined that? He spun around, frantic, searching for another person. Twilight had set upon the prairie- his eyes strained against the dim light, racing over every tree stump and rock in the dark. He thrust his right hand into his rucksack, fumbling blindly, until it rested on the handle of his buck knife. He wrenched it out of the bag and pulled the sheath from the blade. Blindly, wildly, he began to sprint to the top of the hill where the buck had fallen, the knife clutched in his hand. He crested the hill, panting, his heart banging a rhythm in his ribcage-

The buck's body was lying there, a bulk of darkness against the flattened weeds.

No- not flattened-

Dead.

The bugs- they weren't just quiet-

There was a ringing in Ben's ears. The buck's fur was dark-

Too dark-

The ringing was louder.

One of the deer's eyes was open- it was pure white, like a star against the inky black canvas of its face. But there were no stars in the sky above it-

"What have you done, boy?"

He was going to die here, he was sure of it now. Like the weeds and the bugs- here alone in this field next to whatever he had shot.

"Don't worry, Ben-"

The voice was like a thousand whispers, echoing next to his ear. He clutched the buck knife so hard his knuckles were white.

"You're already dead"

[adventuresinfarming]

A Story a Day Series - Chapter 3

A Story a Day Series ~ Chapter 3 Spring 3, Year 1 Word Count: 2,340 Summary: Avian learns about geodes and the library/museum.  A weird noise creeps her out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (WEDNESDAY) SPRING 3, YEAR 1 And just like that – she woke up with the most brilliant idea – why doesn’t she make a Field Snack? She was mad at herself that she didn’t bring that survival book with her – if she even still had it.  But she had thought she read it before: Pine Cones, Maple Seeds and...what was the last thing? OH YEAH! Acorns!  If you mashed them together, it was a surprisingly good source of energy.  She didn’t want to forget this and scrawled a quick note on the notebook besides her bed to put into the blueprint binder for later.

She didn’t even need to look out the window to know it was raining outside.  She was pretty exhausted from the past two days so she figured what’s another hour to sleep in?  However just as she rolled over and got comfortable, there was a knock at the door.

She signed and quickly threw on whatever clothes she had nearby and opened the door an inch.  A taller man with brown hair and brown goatee wearing a heavy apron stood outside the door under an umbrella.

“Uh…Hi there.  Good morning,” he began.  “Welcome to the Valley, I’m Clint – I run the blacksmith shop in town.  Uh, I apologize for the early morning visit but I noticed that you’ve been breaking some rocks open and finding ore – that’s good!  If you want to get the mo-“

“Huh?” she interrupted.  “I’m sorry -  Clint, was it?  I haven’t broken any rocks?” she was so confused, she didn’t remember breaking rocks – aside from the small stones on her property that is.

“You haven’t?” he also seemed quite puzzled.  “You mean you haven’t come across any small orange-looking stones?” he stopped to think for a moment.  “Or maybe you fished some up?  They’ve been known to get hooked on bottom-feeder fish lately.” Now that jogged her memory – she remembered getting something like that in a chest attached to a fish yesterday.  “Oh yeah, now that you mention it, I did catch a fish with some yesterday!  Sorry for the interruption.” She gestured that he could continue.

“No, that’s okay – uh, anyway if you want to get the most out of the ores you find, you’ll need a furnace.  Just happens I had an extra set of blueprints lying around.  Here, I want you to have them.”

With this, she opened the door wider.  “Really?  That’s awesome!  I’ve been wondering if anyone had extra blueprints I could add to my binder,” she hooked her thumb over her shoulder back towards her table.  “I really appreciate you sharing these with me.”

 He looked down, almost embarrassed, his face growing just the slightest shade of pink.  “Y-you’re welcome…just in case you don’t know, it allows you to smelt metal bars.  The bars can be used for crafting, construction and tool upgrades.  When you’ve smelted a few copper bars, consider having me upgrade one of your tools.  It can make your work a lot easier.  Well, okay.  I’m heading home now.  Take it easy and stop by my shop any time!”  He took his leave after this, Avian watched him go.  Kind of a strange man but he seemed nice enough.  As he passed the shipping bin, she completely forgot about her shipping!  She grabbed the umbrella that sat in a box (she had yet to finish finding a place for everything) and ran out to see if anything was still there.

She looked into the shipping bin and found a note and a small pouch.  Written in the same hand as her earlier note from Mayor Lewis, was an itemized list of everything she had put into the bin the night before along with an amount that she received for each item.  Huh, 596g – Not too bad!  She stuffed the note and pouch into her pocket as she ran back inside to properly get ready for the day.

She checked the TV – sunny tomorrow and mildly perturbed spirits today...she still didn’t understand what that meant but oh well – before sitting at the table to examine her new blueprint and thought about what it’ll take to upgrade her tools.  Would be nice, they were so worn and she really needed to lay into the tool in order for it to work properly – she was using too much muscle.  But then again, it might not be a bad thing to bulk up a little.  She chuckled to herself, envisioning herself looking like a bodybuilder in a few years if she didn’t get these tools upgraded.

Clint didn’t really explain how to get ores other than breaking rocks (and fishing them up) so maybe she’d pay him another visit today for more information – hey, maybe he knew what those 2 oval rocks were too?  Since she didn’t need to water her crops today, she gathered some things into her rucksack, grabbed her umbrella, then went to go find Clint’s shop.

***It was a longer walk to Clint’s than she had expected not realizing he lived on the complete other side of the town and but as she got closer, she followed the racket that radiated from the massive machine behind his shop.  Although it didn’t open for another hour so she decided to do a little fishing in the mean time but she fished up more trash than fish (and of course, this had nothing to do with juggling a fishing rod and holding an umbrella)

 Once 9am rolled around, she went right in.  It was a larger shop which made sense as she saw the Blacksmithing forge at the back of the shop with the billows working keeping the flames alight. A large selection of hammers and other types of tools were hanging on the wall beside it.  “Hi Clint!” she said cheerfully as she walked up to his counter and started digging through her bag. ***

“What are you doing here? Er, I mean..Welcome.  How can I help you?” he looked nervous as she walked up to him.

“After your visit this morning, I was wondering if you knew what this was?” she pulled out the oval rocks she had found yesterday.

“Of course I do.  Those are Geodes.  They typically have some kind of gems or materials inside them.  I can easily break them apart for a small fee of 25g each.  Is that something you’d like to do?” he held up one of the geodes, examining it as best he could with the limited light in his shop. “Yeah, why not?”  She took out the amount he mentioned and followed him over to his anvil as he placed the geode on it and went to the wall to select a large hammer from the wall.  He gestured for her to stand back as he swung the hammer, demolishing the hardened material to reveal granite, Jagoite and Orpiment.

“That was awesome!” she exclaimed as he picked up each one to look at them.  “Now what?” she asked.

“Uh, well..you can do whatever you want with them.  I thought I heard something about Gunther  looking for things like this so maybe check with him?

“Who?”

“Oh Gunther.  He’s the curator that runs the Library and Museum in the building south of here”

She thanked Clint for his help and exited his shop to pay this Gunther a visit.  No one was at the counter as she walked in but she heard a voice coming from further in the building. 

“Abysmal…” a voice trailed off.  She walked past a couple of large book cases and found a dark haired man with a goatee and bright blue uniform was muttering to himself.  He was standing amongst a large collection of empty tables.  “Not a single piece in the entire collection.” “Hi…I don’t mean to interrupt but Clint said you might be interested in these minerals?” Avian spoke softly, as the acoustics of the empty room caused her voice to echo.

“What’s that?  You found something?  Let me see it!” She pulled out the items that were hidden inside the geodes and laid them down on the table in front of him.

He picked one of them up immediately and started examining it intently. “Remarkable!  This is very old.  I’d love to study these in greater detail…but they are yours. Hmmm…” he handed them back to you and tapped his chin in thought for a moment. “I’ve got a favor to ask you.  Would you consider donating any new artifacts or minerals that you find? We could make a groundbreaking discover together!  Oh, and who knows…if you keep donating I might come across some interesting items to send your way.”

She didn’t even need to think about it and agreed immediately.  “Of course I’ll donate them – I don’t know what I’d do with them otherwise!” she handed the items back to him.

“Oh thank you! You’re doing a great thing for science.  Once I examine these, I’ll have a description of them so please come back to find more information on your extraordinary discoveries.  Actually, to thank for your donations so far, please take this.”  He reached into his pocket and handed you 250G. Avian stared up at him in amazement.  “Just like that?” she asked. 

“Just like that.” He replied.  “And remember, we could discover other useful items that would be worth more than that!” ‘Thanks! Yeah I’ll bring anything else I find to you.”

She left the shop and wondered what she should do now.  She had more room in her rucksack so she decided to grab some seeds as she was close to Pierre’s then fish a little bit more.  Plus it was raining a bit harder now so maybe by the time she was done choosing seeds, the rain would die down a little.

However, she tried to open the door to Pierre’s but it just didn’t budge.  She pulled back a bit before seeing the sign that says “Closed on Wednesdays”.

Well, crap. She thought.  Guess she’d just skip to fishing then. She thought she heard mentioned that there was a lake in the mountains and even though it was raining, that sounded like a really relaxing place to spend the rest of the rainy afternoon.

She followed the path North East towards the mountain, passing a large decrepit building that looked like it was on the verge of collapsing.  It had a weird, calming aura about it, though.  She continued on the path, finally coming to a large house and realized that this must be Robin’s!  She didn’t really feel like talking with anyone so she continued on and saw the lake not too far away. 

There was a nice little island that looked cozy but the wooden planks leading to it looked suspect and slippery so she stayed on regular land and cast the line into the water.

It was actually quite a great fishing day – got a ton of fish, plus some interesting some items in chests like rice shoots, more squiggly worm bait and coal.  Her rucksack was full to bursting and unfortunately, it was getting a bit dark.  She started to head back the way she came before she saw a guy standing underneath the eaves of Robin’s house.  He was in all dark clothes and she couldn’t see him that well.  Cigarette smoke hung in the air as she stopped a little ways from him.

“Hi, I’m Avian – I just moved here.” She called from beneath her umbrella. “Do you by any chance know if there is a shortcut back to the farm?  I don’t really want to have to walk all the way back around in the dark.”

“Oh, you just moved in?  Cool.”  He sounded bored and took another drag of his cigarette before continuing on, his voice taking on a sarcastic tone.  “Of all places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?”

Kind of taken aback by his comment, she tried to defend herself.  “Well...yeah, I’m continuing on my Grandfather’s legacy…is there something wrong with that?”

“No.” he said simply and threw the cigarette butt to the ground before stepping on it.  “If you continue back this way, there’s a path to the left that’ll lead you directly to your farm.” Without another word he went inside the house, leaving her alone in the rain.

What was with the crabby people in this town?  She didn’t even get his name to add to the crabby list alongside Abigail and Shane. How many more people even lived here?  She was annoyed by his comment but she just shrugged it off.  She took his instructions up around the mountain house and easily found the path that lead to the left.  It was so dark though and she wished she had a flashlight with her.  Luckily the path was easy to follow as it turned south to an overpass across the road that lead to the bus station and realized that was the entrance to her farm was right there – good to know she had a path that lead directly to the mountains behind her property. 

Just as she got to the entrance, the frog and insect songs that had accompanied her throughout the day, suddenly stopped.  The complete silence (other than the rain) was eerie as an otherworldly sound echoed around her a moment later.  She’d never heard anything like it…it wasn’t like it was close to her but it seemed to echo all around her, stretching throughout the entire valley.  To be quite honest, she nearly jumped out of her skin and flat out ran the rest of the way, barely throwing her haul into the shipping bin and slamming the door behind her and triple checking it was locked.

~~Throughout the night, her dreams were filled with fish.  Different techniques of casting, reeling in…a variety of fish that inhabited the various  waters in the valley…then it came to her.  She finally understood how to craft the perfect squiggly bait.  Oh wait..no.  The perfect contraption for trapping crabs, snails, lobsters and prawns..no wait..the most delectable ‘Dish o’ the Sea’… ~~

[recipe-for-monsters]

🌺 for Rudy!

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

------

When Donner awakens, it’s with a start.

It’s a strange way for him to wake up and a disorienting one at that. Usually, he wakes up slowly and unwillingly, huddling up under blankets and shutting his eyes as tightly as he can manage to try and stave off the coming of morning. Even now, as a full-fledged bull, his mom still sometimes teases him for being such a sleepyhead.

But he’s awake now in the dead of night because something is off. Something is amiss. There’s an anxious feeling churning in his belly, the kind that often told him that wolves were prowling about too close for comfort or that a golden eagle had spotted him from above the clouds and was primed to swoop down on him.

The feeling doesn’t make much sense. He and Rudy are both snug within a stable and while it wasn’t the nicest of lodgings around, they still had fresh hay bedding and plenty of wall hooks to hang up their bags and harnesses and even a little desk to put their things on. They’re warm. They’re safe. There’s nothing to be so worried about.

He worries anyways because his self-reassurances aren’t as comforting as they usually are. It’s dark in here. Too dark to see much of anything. The candle must have gone out. Yeah, that must be what’s causing the nervous feeling. Light was important for keeping predators away after all, even if none were to be found within a stable.

He shifts and unfolds his legs, stretching them out carefully until his hooves clack on the wooden flooring and he can stand without stepping on his little brother by accident. Pressing a hand to the wall, he follows the paneling with trailing fingers, bumping into their hanging saddlebags and knocking a fetlock into the edge of the desk with a sharp clatter and a stifling of curse words. Blindly, he feels for the candle only to find it rolled halfway across the desk after being jostled from its holder. Back into the jar it goes and a matchbox comes out of a pocket sewed into the lining of his sweater.

Donner does feel a bit better once the match is struck and the candle lit. The flame is tiny, but its gentle flickering along with the soft shadows thrown onto the walls are familiar and comforting. It makes him think of home. How long has it been since he’s been home? Since he’s seen his mom and dad? Too long he figures given the sudden homesickness blooming in his chest. Once this delivery is over and done with, maybe they’ll head back towards Knot Hill. Long Night was coming up and there was nowhere else in the world Donner would rather celebrate it than his hometown.

How far are they from home anyways? He plucks his saddlebags from the wall, rummaging through them until he finds his map and spreads it across the desk next to the candle. Everpines is their destination and it would take at least another day or two to reach. About three weeks and some change travel from Everpines to Knot Hill if his calculations are correct and the paths aren’t blocked, and that could be shortened to two weeks if the shortcut through the Singing Spires is clear, but taking that path would involve rock hopping. Risky for an adult and even riskier for a calf. He taps a finger on the paper in thought and looks over at Rudy.

The calf is curled up on his side, half-buried in hay, and Donner snorts at the sight. Of course he fell over. Rudy always fell over in his sleep unless propped against a rock or a sturdy tree or his brother’s flank. Training him to sleep properly, sitting up with his hooves tucked in for the warmth, had been a fool’s errand so far. He was sure to grow up into a leaning sleeper whether Donner liked it or not.

But that fact wasn’t about to stop him from trying to teach Rudy well, no sir. He was a good big brother and as such, he was going to at least get him to sleep on his front. That way, his hooves would be warm.

Abandoning the map and his plans, Donner trots the short distance to his brother and kneels down beside him with a grunt. He lays a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly.

“Rudyyy… Hey, Rudy!”

A grunt. A muffled whine as the young bull curls up further.

Donner chuckles. They definitely were brothers, regardless of their separate bloodlines. “C’mon now. You gotta sleep right, remember?” He moves to get his arms more under Rudy, ready to lift him if need be. “Let’s get you up…”

He’s startled when Rudy suddenly rolls over, the bell clipped to his scarf ringing out in the silence, and  clutches at his sweater and buries his face against his elder brother’s stomach. That displaced, nervous feeling takes root again and Donner quickly responds in kind, pulling the calf into a tight hug and gently shushing him as he quakes in his arms and hiccups back tears.

Donner internally berates himself a little for having forgotten. They’ve been so busy working and traveling and playing together that he’d forgotten how difficult the nights could be for Rudy. How his brother would sometimes wake up crying and calling out for his lost mama and papa. How he would, on rare occasions, get up, half-awake and panicking, and bolt outside to look for them and Donner would have to chase him down and bundle him up in the heaviest blanket he had on hand and gently coax him back inside with promises of hot cocoa and maple candy treats.

Rudy can’t get away from him like that again, especially not here. Not in this tiny town that barely had a name, surrounded by a lush, shade-soaked forest. Rudy might get lost. They might not be able to find each other again. His ears flatten against his head and he clings to his little brother tighter, huddling around him as though his bulk could shield them from the bad dreams and the bad thoughts.

“Hey now, it’s okay. I’m not mad. We just gotta get you sleeping proper.” It doesn’t matter that what he’s saying has nothing to do with what Rudy is feeling, he just needs to say something so his brother can focus on it. Can focus on him and not on his grief. “But not tonight. We’ll try again tomorrow, okay?”

It takes a moment, but Rudy nods and gives a quivering, stuttering hum of acknowledgement. The embrace is broken slowly, reluctantly, and only after Donner gives his brother a few hearty pats on the back. Rudy looks a mess of course, all red-eyed and ruddy-faced and still breathing a little funny. He pulls at his scarf, using the cloth to wipe away the tears and the snot, and Donner grimaces and decides that they’re going to have to make a stop to do some laundry tomorrow. They had to follow the river to Everpines anyways.

“You hungry? Thirsty? You gotta be thirsty after getting all that out of your system. Here,” he grabs Rudy’s rucksack, digging around its contents and finding the waterskin buried at the bottom. Pulling it free causes a bone recorder and a few small books to come tumbling out as well. He passes the waterskin to Rudy. “Take a few big gulps. We’re gonna get fresh water in the morning.”

Rudy is a good boy and does as he’s told, drinking deeply as his brother stuffs his things back into the rucksack rather gracelessly and leaving the bag bulging in places. Taking hold of the last dropped book gives him pause. It’s an older title that Rudy picked up from an antique store awhile back and barely put down since. The cover was a faded burgundy and the binding was starting to come loose in places from it having been read and re-read so many times over. “The Little Prince of Rainbows” was written across the front in chipped gold lettering.

He looks over at his brother. “Hey, how about we read for a bit? I don’t think I’m tired enough for sleeping yet.”

Rudy’s ears perk up. “Ca-c-can we? It’s ok-okay?”

“Course! Of course! Put’cherself right here,” He gives his broad side an inviting pat, “I’ll even do voices. Let’s just see if I can find where you left off…”

It’s a little difficult to make out the words and the page numbers with just the light of the candle, but he can make do. Once Rudy is settled and leaning rather heavily against his side with his cheek pillowed on all the fur and fluff, Donner begins to read aloud, grateful that they’re the only patrons of the stable this evening so he won’t be bothering anyone.

The tale is a simple one, full to brimming with tropes and clichés, but Rudy likes this story given how often Donner saw him reading it. Farm boy. Call to adventure. Powerful magic and ancient weapons. New friends joining along the way. Witty, if predictable banter. Thrilling clashes between good and evil. A sappy ending. The whole nine yards.

He uses his own voice for the narration and for the main character, even if it’s too deep for someone so young. He puts on what he thinks is a hilarious falsetto for the rough-around-the-edges witch-in-training that accompanies the hero. He stumbles over a few odd words he doesn’t recognize in the gravelly-toned monologues of the villain, wishing momentarily that his mother were here to explain their meanings. He keeps reading even as Rudy stops shifting around so much and his breathing evens out and deepens because it’s a good story. The kind of story his dad would make up whenever he returned from a long delivery and Donner begged and pleaded to know every last detail of his trip.

He makes the promise to himself then to take Rudy to Knot Hill after this job is completed. Give him some time with a mom and dad that were sure to dote on him just as they had doted on their own son. Surely that would soothe a bit of the pain and the grief. Surely he would be happy to be a part of a loving family again.

Donner reads until the sun is just beginning to peak through the slats of the window blinds and he’s almost reached the end of the book, big plans brewing in his mind all the while.

They’re going home soon. All he asks is that Rudy wait just a little longer.

------

Fin.

(This was supposed to be about Rudy, but I ended up writing it from Donner’s perspective. Rudy relies a lot on his elder brother to comfort and calm him and he keeps his signature scarf on him at nearly all times as it was a gift from his late mother ;w; )

[long-bodyswap]

I Wanna Be A Coyboy

by aussiebootboi

Billy was a weedy kind of guy. His parents had died when he was 5 year old and his grandmother had reared him. Although, small of build, he made up for it in being a bright and studious sort of guy. And, although you wouldn't know from just looking at him, he had a proud ancestory of Incan heritage. His great -great Grandfather had been of mixed Spanish and Incan blood. Their family had originally been of noble birth, and many tales of strange rites and incantations had been recounted at by his grandmother.Sadly, his grandmother had died when he was 15, and he had been forced into foster care, seeing he was still under legal age. He hated them. 

Their treatment was not overly honourable - basically they just wanted the government allowance and had treated Billy poorly. Eventually, after 18 months of poor treatment, he had run away. His closest friend in high school had moved to Florida a few years before and Billy was sure the friend's family would take him in & help support him as a new foster family.He had been lucky with a number of hitched rides with long haul truck drivers, but his luck had finally run out. Here he was in a small town in mid Texas, and no accommodating truck driver for over a day. He was now sick of the sight of the dusty gas pumps of this run-down gas station and was wishing his luck would change soon.Late in the afternoon, hot golden sun beating down on the iron roof of the station's pump cover, Billy was half woken up but the double ring in the station office as car tyres ran over the black bell cord. 

He looked up and saw this beaten up white wide convertible pull up at one of the bowzers. The guy who got out of the car was tall, about 6'4" , around 30 years old, and was so overly muscley, you would have thought he lived in a gym. He had a strong jaw line, wild, uncombed dirty blonde hair that hung down to his shoulders and cold, blue eyes. He wore a dusty, stained white tank top that pulled tightly over his enormous pecs, a polyester Hawaiian shirt over the top, unbuttoned, and his biceps looked like they were going to burst the short sleeves. His jeans were tight around his huge, beefy thighs and he wore a pair of snake skin cowboy boots. 

The man oozed sexuality. He was one hot-looking porn stud. As he got out of the car, he snatched from the back seat a dusty, cream Stenson and put it on his head.Billy was mesmerised. He was still a closeted gay guy and his man answered all his fantasies. Billy felt a slight tinging in his cock as the guy came towards him."Do you work here?" The voice was strong, arrogant, a deep bass coming up from that deep chest and was definitely Texan."No." Billy's voice was weedy and high in comparison. 

"I think the guy is in the garage to the side."As he said that, a fat, balding man, about 45- 50 years, wearing a blue boiler suit came from the side of the gas station; he used a bit of cotton wading to wipe his hands."Hi Jim-Bob, what you up to today?""Just in town for some supplies. Fill 'er up, Bud."The garage owner pumped gas into the convertible, all the while making small talk to Jim-Bob about the weather and wheat and corn prices. Jim-Bob followed the mechanic into the office, his heels making a clunking sound on the tarmac. 

He came out of the office, slotting a packet of Marlbro Red's into the top pocket of his Hawaiian shirt. As Jim-Bob made his way to the car, Billy summoned the courage to talk to him."Excuse me, sir." His voice weedy and slightly whiney."Yeah, kid." Jim-Bob said, turning on his heel and making a scraping sound on the tarmac."Where you headed?""What's it to you?""Um.. I'm trying to get to Florida and I wondered if I could hitch a lift to somewhere where I could link up with some interstaters.""Well. I could take you as far as my farm entrance and then you would have to walk about 5 miles to the Interstate Junction.""Oh, that would be great, Sir.""Yeah, get rid of him for me, will ya Jim-Bob. The kid's been hanging around here too long. 

He's starting to become a nuisance." The garage owner said, from the doorway of his office."Hop in, Kid. And stop calling me Sir." Jim-Bob threw his hat into the back seat, threw himself into the driver's seat and started the engine. Billy quickly collected his rucksack and bag and got into the car.With a jolt they had left the garage and were speeding through the main part of the town and shortly out onto the long flat plains. Jim- Bob opened the packet of cigarettes and lit one up."You want one?""No. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke.""Fuck! Well, seeing its my car, I won't ask you if you mind, cause I don't." Jim-Bob was obviously non-sympathetic to the non-smoker's cause.There was a stoney silence. The low, undulating countryside: fencing racing along the sides of the road, seemed to stretch to eternity."You got a girlfriend."Billy, replied in the negative."Shit!! You some kind of queer or something. 

Fuck! Have I got me some queer with me.""No!" But Billy's voice quavered slightly. He was frightened. He was almost 17 now, and for a while he was fairly sure he was gay, although he was still closeted about his sexuality. The look of a strong, muscley guy turned him on. The smell from this guy in the driver's seat, that musky male smell from a hard working guy in the heat, so close to him now, was arousing him and he didn't want to show his feelings or the hint of an erection that was threatening to reveal itself."I have been too busy to date girls, that's all. I took a girl to the last End of Year Ball." Billy justified himself."Did you screw her?""No." Billy said in a reflex manner."Then you could be a fag after all."There was no reply to that and Billy kept silent. The miles continued to roll by. But Billy was still drawn to those cowboy boots. The way Jim-Bob had walked in them at the garage: so arrogantly and with manly authority. He wished he could be like that; but he would always be a weedy guy. He vaguely remembered his father being a stick-like man: no bulk and his business shirts hanging off his cavenous chest. 

During this period of retrospection, he was now staring at Jim-Bob's snakeskin boots."Jesus, what you staring at, Boy! I swear you're some kind of fag.""I'm sorry." Billy said. Then off the cuff: " I bet you score big time with the babes in those boots. I want a pair when I get a bit older and have worked out more in the gym to bulk up." He felt he had got himself out of that hole."You're damn, right there mister. Do I pull them in. The sound these mean mother-fuckers make in a bar, has those hot cock-thirsty pussies just wanting it: they are panting for it and man! They can't get enough of this piece of meat. Kid, you have a long way to go to get anywhere in the league of this stud."Billy could just see this guy leering at the women. He was personally disgusted and although he was in awe of the sexual power Jim-Bob was giving off, he loathed the type of guy he represented.

Jim-Bob pulled over sharply to the side of the road and turned to Billy."Well, kid. This is the end of your trip. That's the entrance to my farm over there and I don't plan to take you any further. About 5 miles straight ahead you will find the Interstate junction. You should be lucky enough to get yourself a ride to where you want to go. OK, shift that faggy arse of yours."As Jim-Bob was taking to Billy, a motorbike was making its way towards them. Jim-Bob had glanced at it, but hadn't taken much notice. As the bike went past the entrance to Jim-Bob's farm, the rear tyre picked up some of the scattered gravel. One stone fairly hit Jim-Bob on the side of the head, just above his ear and he slumped forward. The bike, unknowingly, continued along the road, deaf to Billy's calls. Billy felt Jim-Bob's neck and could still feel a strong pulse. 

A trickle of brilliantly coloured blood rolled down the side of his head.Oh God! What to do, thought Billy. He looked across the road and saw the mailbox and a dirt track making its way over a small rise. That's his farm. Maybe there some help there or at least a phone. With considerable effort and some time, Billy moved the limp body over to the shot-gun seat. In all that time, not another vehicle had passed. Fortunately the car was automatic and Billy was able to drive the car up the dirt track. About a mile down to it, he came to a low, run down farmhouse. The front verandah was full of old, rusty machinery and one corner was at a sharp angle where the floor stumps had rotted and no longer supported the verandah poles. Billy drove to the rear of the house, where the car was obviously parked and it was shaded. Manoeuvring Jim-Bob's body was going to be a difficult task. Billy called out, but no one answered. 

He walked up to the house and knocked on the screen door. No one answered and he decided to go inside. The kitchen was gloomy after the bright back yard. Dishes were piled in the sink; empty beer bottles were stacked by the side of the fridge. It soon became apparent that Jim-Bob lived alone. Only one side of the bed had been slept in and there were only his clothes to be seen from the open closet door.With boots leaving furrows in the dust and lots of breath breaks, Billy finally dragged Jim-Bob and dumped him onto the bed like a sack of potatoes. An unconscious body is a dead weight and Billy wished he had spent time in the gym. 

Back in the kitchen, Billy found the wall phone and the red-boarded letter from the phone company disconnecting the phone for not paying the bill. There was no way of getting a doctor out there and Billy was frightened to leave Jim-Bob in case he died. A runway didn't have a very strong case in court and no judge or jury would believe that it was accidental and not a robbery. Billy put a cool, damp cloth on Jim-Bob's head, checked his pulse again and washed the blood which had now congealed. The pulse was strong, so it was obviously a case of concussion.He then proceeded to undress Jim-Bob. 

The manly sweat that came off from the boots was deeply arousing. Billy took deep breaths and fantasised a little about having this strong man, now being an overly gay man, taking Billy up into his arms and hugging and kissing him, and saying endearments. Billy returned from his dream and looked down on the homophobic bully lying on the bed. He loosed the belt buckle - a large circular, shiny tooled piece of silvery metal - and undid the buttons. 

The monster of a flaccid cock fell out of the now-loosen boxers. At least 6" and thick, Jim-Bob had at least not lied about his piece of meat: it would easily grow into 7 or 8 inches when erect. Billy wanted to desperate touch it but was afraid in case Jim-Bob woke. He did manage to lightly brush his hand against it.His ordeal had made him tired and so, after putting the groceries in the fridge and bringing in his gear, he searched for a knee rug. 

He made himself comfortable on the sofa and started to reflect on the day. This lead to other recent unhappy events and this invariably caused him to reminisce on happier times with his loving grandmother.With his mind wandering even more, thoughts of his attraction towards Jim-Bob began to form: that strong, muscley body, those hot snakeskin boots, the tight jeans showing a decent package. A tingling in his dick started up and he developed interesting fantasies with what he could do with that hot body. Words popped into his head: something vaguely he could remember from his grandmother. "Irikalimabro. Tradi om, broroo dinda, broroo dixi, broroo dinda, fore rimni dint crawlix, fore rimini dint crawlix." With these words chanting, softly in his head, he fell asleep.

* * * * *

Billy woke with a splitting headache. Light was streaming from the window and it was obviously morning. His head felt unbearable and he had problems focusing. With some effort he concentrated on the brown shape across the room. Eventually he could make out some checked shirts hanging in the closet. He then realised that he was lying on a bed. 

Where was he? This wasn't home or anywhere he recognised. His vision was steadily cleared and he could make out through the dirty net curtains a dusty yard and an open white convertible between him and a rundown barn with one door hanging off its hinge.He vaguely remembered having seen that car before recently. 

Where??? Through the fog of the headache, it dawned on him where he had seen the car before and then the previous day's events converged onto his fuddled brain. He sat up abruptly. Where was Jim-Bob, and why was he now sleeping in the bed? He turned to get out of bed and as he did, the room spun. When his vertigo had subsided, Billy made another attempt to stand up. As he did his jeans fell to the floor and there was a metalic clunk where the blet buckle hit the wooden floor. He bent down to pull up his pants and then had to sit down abruptly. These weren't his jeans!! 

The belt buckle was the same as the buckle he had loosened from Jim-Bob yesterday!Suddenly he felt his stomach erupt in nausea. He was definitely going to be sick real quick. He stood up and lurched out of the room and quickly made his way to the bathroom, where he was violently sick. Waves of nausea washed over him and for some minutes he just held onto the toilet bowl and wished it would all end soon. Eventually, the sickness passed and when he felt strong enough he made his way to the sink. He splashed water on his face and then gasped as he looked into the mirror.His stomach lurched again, but it was empty and he gave a loud, hollow burp instead. There, staring at him, his face bleached white was Jim-Bob's face. 

Gradually he surveyed the rest of his body. Yep! Everything he saw was what he associated with Jim-Bob: the nicotine-stained fingers, the strong masculine hands with curly blond hairs on the wrist, the Hawaiian overshirt, the tight blue jeans, the strong jaw that was lightly shadowed with beard stubble, the wavy dirty-blond hair down to the broad, muscley shoulders."Oh, my God!!" Jim-Bob's deep voice sounded back at him. "Jesus! What happened.""Fuck!!" and a high pitched squeal came from the sitting room further in the house. Billy recognised that voice: it was what he thought of as his.Billy rushed into the sitting room. 

The boy was standing by the sofa, looking in at the grimy, bevelled mirror over the fireplace. He turned when he saw Jim-Bob standing in the doorway."What the fuck have you done, you freak!!" Billy squealed at Jim-Bob. "You fuckin' faggot! You fruit!" He then lunged at Jim-Bob, his hands ready to punch the life out of him.Jim-Bob put his hands up to protect his face. Billy aimed at punch at Jim-Bob's stomach. Billy reeled back, holding his hand and crumpling up with pain. "Fuck!!" he explained. Jim-Bob put a hand out to Billy's arm to see if he was alright. Billy pulled away and then lunged to make another hit. Jim-Bob reacted by seizing Billy's wrist, griping it tightly. Billy tried to pull away and cringed, "Shit! That hurts.""Then stop." Jim-Bob's voice boomed. He was having problems adjusting to his new body. He didn't realise he that much strength in his body now. He hadn't meant to hurt Billy, but you could definitely see red markings on the boy's wrist where he had gripped him. He would also have to get used to not talking as loud. 

He was shouting now and he had only intended to speak to the kid in a normal voice.The reaction of hearing his voice from his old body caused Billy to break down and cry. He was obviously distressed and confused. "Hey," Jim-Bob said. "I don't know what's happened. Hopefully it's a temporary thing. But no matter, I'm not leaving you till all this is sorted out.""What happened? I last remember giving you a lift and dropping you off outside my farm.""You were hit in the head by stones thrown up by a motorbike. I brought you up here, put you to bed and then I fell asleep and somehow a switch happened in the night.""Yeah, well if I was hit in the head so hard, how come there is no bruise or headache?" Billy sneered."That's because I have the headache and cut," Jim-Bob moved his hair to reveal the cut above his ear. "And that's why I'm off to get a shower and take some headache tablets." Jim-Bob turned and retreated to the bathroom.

Finding some pills in the medicine cabinet, he stripped. He stared at the stud like body in the mirror. He was one Hot dude now: rippling muscles, huge pecs and biceps, a ripped 6-pack. His dream had come true. He was getting a hard-on just looking at himself.He entered the shower and started soaping himself, luxuriating at the feeling of running his hands over his tight muscles. When he came to his cock, he saw a thick, yellow rim of dick cheese."Jesus, dirty pig." He explained. He started washing around the head when he felt a wave of erotic sensations washing over his body. Man! did that feel good. He did it again, rubbing his thumb under the skin: the sensation was incredible. He started stroking himself: it was soo good. His cock was stiffening now, a monster 8 inches and thick, ropey veins along the shaft. He was pumping this muscle monster now and when he couldn't hold back any more, his legs bent, he released a hot, ropey stream of cum all up the shower wall. 

He kept pumping and the fire hose of cum kept pouring out. Exhausted, he sat down in the shower, feeling the warm water washing over his head. He had never shot that much or so intensely before. A small river of cum was trickling down the wall nearby. With a finger he scouped some of it up and licked it. It tasted salty and slightly sweet. Man! one of the best things he had ever tasted. He sure wanted to do that again soon.He rubbed himself down, enjoying the sensations of the rough towel against his tight muscles. Into the bedroom, naked, his cock still red and swinging, he made his way to the closet. A white wife-beater, a cleaner Hawaiian shirt, tight black jeans and the same white snakeskin cowboy boots. He looked at himself in the mirror, now that he was dressed and liked what he saw. He had power, presence, strength. 

He could feel the boots on his feet and the leather shaft rubbing slightly against his calves. He was growing a hard-on again because he was finding himself so sexy and Hot.Back in the bathroom, to return the towel, he bent down and as he stood up he hit his head on the edge of the cupboard. "Shit!" he said and rubbed his head. Boy! I must be tired, he thought, because I never swear. This is all been a little too stressful this morning.On the sofa, Billy was lounging, an unhappy or perplexed expression on his face. "Breakfast, or shower," Jim-Bob asked him."Breakfast. I don't need a shower.""No way, boy. While you are in my body, you are going to continue to treat it the way I did. And that means regular washing. OK. Breakfast it is, and then the shower." Jim-Bob decided he needed to be forceful with Billy from the start. Why waste this strength and power he was feeling. With these muscles, he knew he could force Billy to do almost anything he wanted.Breakfast was basically a silent affair. 

Billy decided he didn't want to be communicative and munched morosely throughout the entire meal. Jim-Bob then ordered a day of cleaning the house. Dishes were washed; laundry washed and hung on the line (Jim-Bob found a mountain of dirty clothes piled up by the side of the bed); vacuuming and mopping of floors. Throughout all this, Billy had needed regular cigarette breaks. Jim-Bob didn't like the idea of him sullying his body but also recognised that it was hard to make a person quit cold turkey, and Billy still had cravings. Jim-Bob reckoned they had worked hard enough for the first day and recommended a bath for Billy. Billy, tired after the work and recent ordeal, agreed.All through the day, Billy had asked Jim-Bob how this strange phenomenon could have happened. Jim-Bob was as ignorant as Billy, but had decided to make the most of it and was sure it was a temporary condition. 

He wanted to return to his old self and get to Florida and continue his studies and start his new life.From the bathroom came a muffled "Fuck!" "What is it now," Jim-Bob asked through the door."Kid, you have one average sized dick. How am I going to snatch pussy with this thing. Its almost useless.""Yeah, well you'll get used to it.""Does this mean I'm a queer now?""That's up to you. You sure don't sound like one, although it probably wouldn't hurt you to learn some tolerance.""Well, fuck you!" came the reply and then silence.Later they both had an afternoon nap and then proceeded to prepare the evening meal. 

The bath seemed to have soothed Billy, because he was finally even-tempered and personable. As they were preparing the vegetables, Jim-Bob slipped with the knife and nicked his finger."Shit!" he said before sucking his finger and hopping around the room. "Oh Man! Shit, that hurts."It was a small cut and after lightly bandaging it, they continued the preparation, although Jim-Bob couldn't help musing that that was about the fourth or fifth time he had sworn that day. This was surprising because he never blasphemed with anything stronger than a Jesus or Damn.Dinner was a successful meal. Billy was in a friendly, conversant mood and started asking questions about being on the road and the reasons why he was, considering he wasn't the normal type of hitcher.

After the dinner, they moved out onto the side porch to view the sunset and just rest. Billy suggested they both have a beer. Jim-Bob hated the taste and smell of beer and declined. But Billy insisted and to be concillitory, he accepted. A bottle was tossed to him and he cracked it open. The hops fragrance waffed out and he steeled himself for gagging that normally ensued. It didn't happen. The smell was rather enticing instead. He was liking this scent after all. He took a swig. What was this stuff?? It tasted fantastic. He swigged again."Hey! I thought you didn't like beer.""Yeah, I know. Normally I don't. What brand is this??""Bud." Billy said.Well Jim-Bob had tried Bud before and it definitely had never tasted like this before. Maybe it was bottled differently in each state."No. All comes out of one brewery, as far as I know," was Billy's answer.Jim-Bob quickly finished off his beer and reached for another. 

Billy declined his offer of having another. He wasn't enjoying the taste as much as usual and thought maybe this case had gone off or something. They watched the encroaching gloom of evening, and it was the insects that finally forced them inside.A game of poker was suggested. Jim-Bob agreed which surprised him, seeing he loathed most card games; in fact he boycotted most games. As Billy didn't have much money in his pocket, they decided on using the coloured pins from the chinese checkers box, with each colour being a ranked value. The game quickly became intense. Throughout it, Billy regularly smoked and Jim-Bob drank beer. In his previous life, Jim-Bob suffered from asthma around cigarette smoke, but now he was hardly being effected. He definitely wasn't finding the smoke a nuisance. 

Both were in a good mood. When the game was not too intense, Billy had relaxed enough to tell bawdy male jokes. Most of what he knew were the kind involving women's breasts and sex. Traditionally, Jim-Bob found them degrading and disgusting and wouldn't remain in the hearing of them. But he felt so masculine, so manly, sharing male time with Billy, that he laughed as heartily as Billy. He was finding them funny and he was feeling a tingling in his dick. They were actually turning him on! As the evening progressed, although Jim-Bob was obviously becoming drunk, he was still the superior player. By the end of the evening, he was playing like a pro and scooping the kitty. 

This stunned Billy, who prided himself on being a crack poker player. Around 11, they decided to call it a night. Both men were tired when they slipped into their crisp, clean sheets on their respective beds. In the case of Billy, a temporary bed had been made up in the spare room - normally a lumber room.

[canvasbackpacks-blog]

Selecting a Right Backpack

Undoubtedly, Business Backpacks is an essential gear as well as outdoor event to carry your world along with you. Experts think when it comes to choosing a right backpack a good rule of thumb is, "Buy right and pack light. " There is a large assortment available in the market ranging from expensive to cheap, lightweight to ultra-lightweight and highly fashionable to real basic. So it risk turning out to be a real daunting and challenging task when considering choosing a right backpack for your outdoor activity. Most of us need ideas of what exactly a right backpack is. Well, a right backpack will be one that sits comfortably on your shoulders and back and even make you comfortable to carry your load during long not to mention short trips alike. To select a right backpack you need to take into account many things, such as comfort, load distribution on your spine, valuable features and functionalities you required in your back pack last but not least the budget. Among other things, comfort should be on your first of all priority, because you are buying backpack for comfortable path. Therefore , to make a good selection decide which feature is critical for you, how long is your journey, what is the actual weight you would like to carry etc . Literally, there is a large variety available in the market you could use, such as crush resistance, frameless backpack, internal & exterior backpack, lumbar & torso packs, lightweight, single tie & double strap backpacks, infant & child school bags, hydration etc . Remember, they are all different so try individuals actually to see which ones suit you better. Before giving answers to these questions, some important elements should be considered, such as reasons like your trip, duration of your trip along with the capacity you absolutely need and the features you demand in a backpack. First of all, take into account the golden rule of backpacking "buy right and also pack light". That means you should buy the right backpack according to your wants and pack it light with essential things only. The right backpack is the one with the right size to fit your upper body. It is the first and most important step to safe bookbag use. If you can bring one of your friends with you while selecting any backpack then it is ok, otherwise ask the particular salesperson to help you measure your backpack properly. Next crucial point can be to purchase adjustable backpacks. Nowadays market will be full of good quality adjustable backpacks. No doubt, adjustable back products are great, but will cost you a bit extra than your own bulk standard pack. Actually, adjustable backpacks will allow you to place the height and weight of the pack in the great position on your back. Either you can set it your body or ask your friend or salesperson to adjust plus fit your pack on your back by sliding the software up and down until you are comfortable. So , when you feel it will be right, you lock it off. Next is to purchase the correct frame size. Remember every backpack is unproductive (regardless of your good height and top quality of backpack) unless it has a correct frame size according to your body as well as shape. Gone were the days when people think 'one-size-fits-all'-it far from the truth. Experts strongly believe that your torso size additionally your overall height are two completely separate measurements with regards to backpacks. Actually Wayne Gregory was the first backpack creator who thought seriously about the importance of correct frame dimension to fit your torso. According to him, your correct frame specifications can be found by measuring your torso from the seventh vertebra down the spine to the point in the small of your to come back which is horizontally level with the top of your hip bones. To find this point, use your fingers to trace typically the hip bone upwards till you feel the point where the top borders of your hip bones curve inwards, on the side of the hip bone, creating something of a shelf. This measurement is the core length, especially useful to consider those packs with non-adjustable back system. In fact this system that is used throughout the outdoors industry today to measure the exact body size as well as determine the correct frame's size. Similarly, another important thought is proper fit of waist belt by understanding its correct size. In simpler words, the stylish belt is meant for hips and not for your waist. For this reason hip belt should rest on your hipbone, not with your waist, because if it is on your waist then you will bear too much weight on your shoulder. In the same way if it is too minimal, it is bound to interfere with your walking. Quite frankly, equally are undesirable. Ideally with a full pack on, the absolute best edge of the waist belt should ride one within . above the top of the hip bone. Lastly, you should also give thought to shoulder straps. These days many good quality backpacks are available in the market through adjustable shoulder straps. Backpacks with self-adjustable shoulder are considered as top backpacks, because in these backpacks the shoulder straps can be rotated to accommodate individual neck and shoulder shapes and sizes. Well folks, these were just few considerations for selecting right backpack for your hiking or trekking. Your rucksack contains all of your surviving things in a wilderness so you normally try to select a good and comfortable backpack. The only produce behind the selection of an expensive backpack is comfort, so even while purchasing any backpack, do some research to find the store that's right for you.

[bagsuppliers]

Key Features of Rucksack Bags

Planning a trek or hike? A rucksack is a must-have for hassle-free travel, ensuring your essentials are stored securely, even on short day trips.

[sugar-petals]

pump jack [m]

¬ summary | Jungkook has been skipping meals. The water supplies are half empty. Anything in this desert could be a mirage. On the way to the next oasis, you plan to meet a coastal merchant going by the name of Yoongi, an old friend who has plenty of food and drink to spare — and a lot more than just that.

¬ pairing | dom!reader x sub!jungkook x sub!yoongi

¬ word count | 3.7k | dystopia, smut, angst, fluff

¬ warnings | poly sex, oral, fingering, dom/sub, femdom, gloves kink

¬ note | a writing experiment of mine. no dialogue. 

The horizon melts into a blur. Against the layers of scarlet, grey, and marigold — the outlines of a bulky construction. Unmoving. You have to wipe your eyes twice to see what it is.

Although the clouds of sand passing by make it hard to discern where it starts and where it ends, you can already move closer. The direction of the wind has shifted enough to take solid steps again. Jungkook says that it could be some kind of dismal watchtower, but he's not sure either. It could be what you were searching for. All he sees through the half-transparent scarf he uses to veil his tan face is nothing but a flare of yellow in the first place.

You don't like the sand here even if the storm has long passed. The cotton of your trousers not only sticks to your legs, but also feels granular with all the particles nestling in it. Checking the water bottle twice strapped to your belt gives you a sense of security, then, and yet, it also is a reminder. It's half empty with no more supplies from the backpack, however large it may be. Jungkook is already lamenting a tenacious headache demon whose first warning signs came before you started walking.

But now, his voice is drowned out by the next gush of wind tearing through the valley, clearing one dune from the horizon just two minutes later after gathering with more air currents. You take his hand not to stumble back or forward. Either of you can't stand properly. No boots can best a weary wearer. The construction still looms heavy and large, feigning to be nothing but a mirage in moments where the heat rising from the sand makes the outline so indistinct.

Gladly, the wind rather pushes you forward, but nevertheless makes you lose balance more than enough. The construction remains unmoving. Unlike your insides. You don't want the bread from your crossbody bag anymore. After three days of nothing but just that, even puking it out wouldn't be the best of reliefs. Not at all. Your stomach grumbles in the hopes of an actual, proper meal. Together. Jungkook has skipped his so you could have more far too often already in the last couple days. You can see it in his staggering walk.

The construction, after just a few breaths more through your own scarf, sharpens with time to reveal a rather odd characteristic that neither of you saw before. It's something like a giant hammer hanging in the air, supported by square arms and posts attached underneath, driven into the more solid ground below the moving sand. Metal posts, supposedly. It's even bulkier a machine the closer you get. The dunes surrounding it waver and fade enough to catch sight of some detail. The counterweight, clinging to the side of the rugged silhouette, is worn and almost rusty.

You tell Jungkook that you've seen a complex like this in books before. It said it would move up and down, but this one isn't. Everything completely at rest. At least it fits the description. A mirage the construction was not. Quite the contrary is the case.

Yes. It's the pump jack Yoongi had been talking about.

The place where you should meet him.

You stop. And look up. Then keep walking. It seems as if the machine is waiting for something, but you don't understand what. Jungkook dusts off his sleeves twice sizing up the entire well complex, too.

Meanwhile, the upper beam's adjacent string, perhaps something like a rod, floats back and forth in its hole in the ground without the tension that had once driven it in and out to stroke the valve down. Now, the entire area is still, the dunes rest flattened on the wide desert floor. Nothing stands out except one thing.

A medium sized pickup truck, parked right behind the pump jack. It's been hidden from your view until now that you circle the platform. Jungkook exhales. Relief. The door to the driver's seat is wide open.

On the sidestep, a petite man with goggles and a heavy brown jacket lifts his arm for a greeting. You advance, greet back. His smile is as youthful as you remember it. He shoves the pair of glasses upwards, casts either of you a fast glance, then jumps off the sidestep, and, even more petite now, pats the side of the vehicle. His dark eyes are promising. Yoongi has what you want.

The grey car seems to have obtained a few scratches along the way. Voice deep, Yoongi says that it's been a while since he's been driving in this area. Trade happens up north where he even goes by boat more often. It's where goods are most needed. Hardly anyone goes through the desert like you. The rivers make a formidable terrain for merchants, he ends, already strolling to the back of the car.

Jungkook stays behind you, not a word. You turn to pat his scarf to free it from the layer of dust and tie it back around his neck. The winds have calmed down. Gladly, the pump jack casts a sizeable shadow for the three of you to stand in, and the car.

It's been a while since academy, Yoongi says, and you're still lucky with your choices in life. He gives a more than conspicuous nod toward Jungkook while fumbling at the ramp of the truck. You already heard that Yoongi's job is too mobile to have some kind of companion. But he still looks good with the dark bangs in his eyes. Even now when he's hauling up two jerry cans from the fleetside loading area, face a little greasy.

You see that there are more of them. Jungkook steps closer to roam his eyes across the load. It's quite something. Yoongi ushers both of you to get yourself one of the petrol cans from the back now that he cleared the larger ones away. You yank one of them off the ramp and unscrew the orange cap. A quick smell. Not gasoline. Crystal clear water.

You lift the can to your lips and drink. From the corner of your eye, you see Yoongi looking worried at how much you drink at once, and how eagerly you refill the bottle at your belt. It's been a long journey. You tell Jungkook to take two of the other cans, one each arm. He stuffs them into his already half-empty backpack after chugging down a quarter of the can himself. The water evaporates from his chin faster than you thought it would.

Yoongi passes Jungkook another box, colored in red, from the cargo area to stack on top of the two jerry cans. It says "L.T.O." on the lid. Neither of you has to look inside to know what it is. Twelve food rations, crammed into the box as tightly as possible in triangular wrappings, typically sold on the markets where Yoongi comes from. The box is quite sturdy, even at a second glance of yours. A little thank you, then Jungkook zips up the bag again.

In the meantime, Yoongi opens the driver's door for you to slip inside. The sturdy panel is where you can enter your code and transfer twenty thousand dinars, enough to get Yoongi by for the next two weeks at least. What he brought to you is high quality. It's L.T.O., after all. The buttons of the panel are used enough for you to know that he has plenty of clients, that's a good sign. And he was at the well earlier than you. Who knows for how long.

He hasn't changed since academia. You already got that. He might have given up on aviation now, but Yoongi has always been this way.

You press the green button to add a sufficient tip of five hundred dinars. The panel bleeps in content, then shuts down again when you descend from the driver's seat onto the sidestep. You watch Yoongi get another red box from the back seat, open it, and pass each of you a ration. Jungkook switches his with yours because he knows that you prefer chickpeas and rice. He takes the one with dried peppers in it. Yoongi chooses one with figs and bread, but only eats half of the portion. He wraps up the rest and stuffs it into his jacket for later, presumably. Instead, he offers Jungkook a second ration, pointing at his upper body. You're big, you need more, he says.

Jungkook retreats into the small core shadow of the pump jack after picking a wrapping with freeze-dried vegetables from the red box. A smaller dune piles up left, a few feet away from where he squats. The winds are getting stronger again, sanding down the pickup truck's forged wheels every other minute. The horizon is nothing but a vertical cascade of orange.

The wrappings are empty soon and start to degrade into a heap of powder. It dissipates, right through your fingers. Gone in a moment. Dust to dust. You wait to feel full, but realize drinking that much before eating probably wasn't the best idea. At least it wasn't all bread. And your metabolism is fast. The energy returns to your limbs. In an hour, you say, maybe another bit with rice.

Yoongi brings Jungkook a third ration with radish and various seeds, from which a third remains as a leftover that Jungkook adds to the bulk in his rucksack. He stands up to sort his garments, puts his belt in place. The headache has been getting better, he mumbles into his scarf. Yoongi keeps on slathering protective cream on his neck after drinking a bit of water. He talks to you about the trades he does, and what the other people from academia are doing. His expression seems more nostalgic than you thought it would be. It's been ten years and a dozen months.

Jin, your long-time friend, got busy with administration in the west. Yeri does travels and trekking like you, from market to market, from bathhouse to bathhouse. Namjoon he last saw at an oasis, similar to the one you and Jungkook are headed for. Jimin found love in the Northwest the way everyone thought it would happen.

The winds remain churning on the ground. It makes the pump jack croak and shiver a little, although you find it hard to believe that such a giant machine could sound so fragile. It must have been three or more decades that the unit went out of use. The sand has chafed down the once anthracite color into a faint grey, letting the original surface and tint of the metal peek through, particularly at the cranks and screws. You really can't take your eyes of it until Jungkook comes over because the shadow starts to shift into the direction of the car. Again, he drinks, then settles to your left, and rubs your back. Sighing out loud wasn't your intent, but his touch made it difficult not to.

Yoongi asks how you feel. You say that you're horny and it's too hot. Nylon sucks to wear for fifteen hours straight. Having no release, too. Yoongi doesn't look surprised.

The dunes have never ceased to move about. The horizon was never a straight line to trace with your eyes, the compass playing a silly guessing game. Oil fields are unpredictable. How's Jungkook gonna drop his pants if he hardly has any energy spare and the hunger is tormenting either of you. And your bottles feeling awfully light. There's no way of baring much skin in an on-and-off midscale sandstorm to begin with.

Two days passed since a proper fucking at the last oasis. If you go by how time feels like in the desert, those were three weeks.  

Yoongi agrees to settle on the backseat with Jungkook perched at the other end. He says there's still time until he has to leave. Same job, delivering water at the next pump jack, half an hour from here, east. He has to be there roughly past dusk. Now, the sun has already passed its zenith, but didn't come too far.

Your scarves are already half drenched. They come off with ease after the doors slam shut fast because the sand keeps on raging back and forth at the ground. The A/C runs much like the engine now, silent enough. The car runs on cheap energy, Yoongi has three batteries in stock. This is a luxury he can afford for today. Not because of the dinars. It's because it's you. Feeling so hot.

He always does that. Jungkook takes his disinfectant spray from the side pocket of the rucksack to spritz down his hands. Palms, fingers, wrists, back of his hands. It smells sharp. He offers the spray can, two thirds empty, to Yoongi, but earns a head shake. Yoongi says he won't touch you with his rugged hands. He's been handling too many substances at the harbor. Instead, he takes apart his jacket's inlet to get out a tissue, wipes down the sprinkles of motor oil from his temples. The jacket he doesn't put back on. It stays, alongside with Jungkook's backpack, on the passenger seat. It's already cooler inside the chassis. Jungkook strokes your hair.

The car is narrow for three people. It's not all too easy to peel off the nylon garment, and kicking off your trousers. Yoongi draws black gloves from a box under the back seat, asks if you don't mind. You trace the back of his gloved hand with a digit and negate. It has a nice grip to it, but the material is still smooth. The kind they used to have in hospitals, only few markets sell them nowadays.

His fingers search around the area of your waist in the hopes of finding the right hold. Jungkook is perceptive enough to help him move his hands downwards around your hip where they promptly lock, now eager. Your hand in his hair isn't there to only fondle. It dictates the rhythm, quite fast. It wasn't just a fleeting rumor at the academy that he's got more than just brains for class. His chin is glossy already, eyes redux. The moans, the hums he emits, like gentle vibrations, your core takes up gladly.

The sand scratches past the windows, and the A/C has found a stable temperature by now. Even if the backseat gets sticky with Yoongi's saliva, he doesn't show any signs of keeping his lower lip or jaw less loose on your labia. Jungkook has accommodated behind you pressing the sandy linen on his chest against your back owing the lack of space between you and the door. Even now that it's running, stable, the engine is silent enough to hear everything. Yoongi is too focused to bother with you smiling about how Jungkook's stomach rumbles and can't really stay still in general. It'll take some time until his legs feel vital again.

Before Yoongi already sounds like he's about to slurp up your orgasm altogether, you loosen your fingers in his hair and declamp your legs. Not too fast, you say. Wait for the next turn. Although half covered in spit, Yoongi doesn't seem to reach for a tissue anytime soon to wipe his face. He's too intent on watching you fumble with Jungkook's arms to get them reaching down your torso.

The disinfectant smell is long gone. The inside of the car is only sweat-filled. Jungkook's fingers work in pairs to circle into your clit. You're getting warmer but don't want Yoongi to crank up the A/C more. His hands stay around your hips. Like crescents. The gloves stick almost like glue.

He looks content when you halt Jungkook and suggest to stuff his fingers into Yoongi's loose mouth. He loves to kiss and suck off Jungkook's thumb in particular. More drool. And he's choking up. Jungkook's fingers are bulky enough. But they stray toward Yoongi's neck fast, and caress, then trail downwards. Yoongi's white shirt comes off. Nano fibers. And underneath, a lithe and rosy chest, sinewy from rowing and lifting goods on the markets. You take it in for a moment, pinch either nipple to make Yoongi laugh. Until you guide him down to resume his lip service.

The gloves wander to rub alongside your thighs. A tingle travels down your spine. Tracing your belly, Jungkook's touch is much more expert and caressing, but shallow. It's his lips that he gets busy with tracing your cheeks. Both sides, uncaring of the sweat. Yoongi's touch is more nimble, and bony when he starts using the tip of his thumb to stimulate you, alternating with the pout of his lips pressing onto your clit. Like kissing. You like his fingers. And his gloves very much.

It's abrupt. Yoongi has to deal with swallowing your cum fast before he gets it over his pants, and Jungkook with your back arch that presses him against the door. But he holds you tight, and whispers love to you. Yoongi is unafraid to bury his face in you to nip up the mess he's been making.

So. Good. Electric bolts. Shivers. And legs turning mushy.

You lay on Jungkook's chest while Yoongi peels his gloves off, pulls his white shirt back on. The bulge in his pants he seeks to ignore. Who on earth takes condoms into the scorching desert. In the shadow of the oil well, the car is getting slightly chilly already. Perhaps, because of the ample clouds forming above. Sporadic gushes of wind trace the windows, the panel bleeps. Customers calling. Yoongi, although still flustered, takes one call, assures there are enough rations, he'll be there, watch for the pickup. Your breath is still heavy. Jungkook pulls one of your shirts from the rucksack, fresh, luckily, for you to button down.

The pump jack is rattling. Its bridle dangles loosely before the posts, but the sound is minimal. You ask Yoongi for his coordinates. Five point five, six eight six, west. It's the coast. He says that he'll spend the summer there next year. He wishes you good luck. Taehyung is waiting for you at the oasis with a billion dinars and a plane. Yoongi doesn't look surprised about that. Big fish jobs that nobody wants to do for obvious reasons are everywhere in the desert since oil got obsolete. He jokes that his truck would probably fall apart going to the oasis, checks twice whether the gearbox is free of sand, kickstarts the engine. Again, the panel blinks. Good to see you, he smiles, until we meet again, send a message how you two are doing to the coordinates. You promise.

Yoongi shuts the door with the same greeting he did as when he arrived. He has his flight goggles on, which might make you more nostalgic than you thought you would be, the ration he postponed earlier sitting on the panel, wrapping half open already.

When the truck's outline disappears behind a dune in the east, you pick up a ration with rice, pull your scarf over your head, as does Jungkook, who then takes out the spray again. Getting used to the acerbic smell, two seconds and it's gone, now more than ever. Although his hands glisten, all drops evaporate fast. The sand is still granular against your legs, but you care less. Shaking it off is of no use. The shirt is comfortable instead.

Currents are turning and bringing up dunes where the pump jack disappears behind you. Walking properly isn't easier now, for you, at least. It's not a bad thing. Jungkook takes you by the hand when he notices. You'll have to wait and go slow until the feeling between your legs fades out. He stands firmer than he did before, and you're glad to have spent a few more dinars. Less bread now. Thankfully. And the oasis promises a solid, spacious bed before the flight begins.

You pull out the small compass box from your cross-body bag after eating. The needle swirls, then tilts toward the horizon again. Layers of red and grey, and orange, deep blue is what awaits you there. Maybe even a surprise rain where it's less arid, less dust, but no guarantees. It's not the coast. The path goes past a few other oil fields, that's what Yoongi said. Two more days if you manage to keep up the pace and the journey is over.

Jungkook concludes that since the last oasis had a cooling bath at the other end, you might be lucky again. That time you only had a few hours of sojourn there. But now, there are better prospects. The compass box goes back into its pocket and you say that Taehyung will pretty much leave you to your own devices once you have the dinars and the plane. There's time to rest. Until then, the ground under your feet will be ever-moving.

He's rubbing your back before your walk steadies.

The sun converges the last few degrees above the horizon when you pass a smaller oil field. Much like you, it embarks on an adventure past the horizon. While Yoongi delivers elsewhere. The east.

Jungkook scouts a place where there is a decent plateau. A sound spot poses itself next to a pump jack that looks more solid than the others that are falling apart. The green dome tent he pulls from the backpack, in the light of the ephemeral dusk, looks worn. To another night, he says, stacking the bendy poles together. You plant six alloy pegs and draw the cords. The mesh sheet and storm flap clips into place with more ease. But it'll be cold tonight. It's good that you've eaten more than your appetite demanded.

Clouds are heavy overhead. The jackets and sleeping bags that Jungkook dusts off are a comfort now. Your feet hurt and he knows, but also, how close your destination is. The tent you finish up fast from the inside when the moon perks above the dunes in the east. His body clinging to you, Jungkook's whispers, the soothing voice, the desert isn't so hostile anymore. Outside, the winds don't matter. Unzipping your own sleeping bag, you spread it out like a blanket over his bag where you scramble to slip in. He's kept the warmth of the day, plus he's activated the fibers to pulse heat throughout the tent. A drop in degrees you won't feel tonight. But that is mostly because of his kisses, and how he rests his head between your chin and chest.

© 2017-2019 submissive-bangtan. All rights reserved.  Do not repost, translate, or modify.

[gomadnow-blog]

Essential Items to Carry When Climbing Mt. Everest

Are you all set to climb the most valued hike on Mt. Everest ? If yes, then you must go through the below list in order to learn what must be carried when to ease out your climbing days on Mt. Everest

Climbing Equipment

Ice ax: General mountaineering ax, mountaineering"walking" span, 60 - 80 cm spans, based on your height. Shaft should not have a rubber grip. You'll require a leash to attach axe for you harness not a"wrist loop". Bring a commercial leash created for glacier travel or 6 ft of 9/16 inch webbing and we'll help you build one (Grivel or Black Diamond).

Crampons: 12 stages step-in, a few climbers bring two, however, that is probably not necessary and we can have replacements delivered from Namche (Grivel or Black Diamond).

Harness: Alpine design, you should not have to step through leg loops to place it on and off, lightweight, fully adjustable (Black Diamond).

Perlon cable: 20 feet of 6mm person cords, also known as accessory cord in climbing stores.

Ascenders: You will need two (Petzl or Black Diamond).

Note: The company names suggested are just for reference, you may choose any other, whatever works for you the best.

Camping Gear

Backpack: Top opening mountaineer's rucksack style is greatest. Stay away from big zipper openings and surplus external pockets. Larger packs are better than smaller since they're easier to pack with cold hands and they disperse loads more efficiently.

Two Sleeping bags: -40C/-30F Down 800 fill (Western Mountaineering, Mountain Hard-wear). Your second bag can be -20C/-5F. 1 bag remains on the mountain and the other at Base Camp. Your bigger bag may be the one which remains at Base Camp; higher on the mountain you may share tents and you will be concerned with bulk and weight.

Foam pad: The sleeping pads stay on the mountain. At Base Camp that you will have a Nepalese mattress, which means you don't need a second sleeping mat set (Ridgecrest).

Pee bottle: 2 1-quart (1 liter), leak-proof wide-mouth, one for Base Camp and the other for top camp (Nalgene).

Pee Funnel for Girls: (Freshette).

Swiss military knife/multitool: Remember to not depart in carry-on bags for almost any domestic or international flight.

Large mug, plastic bowl, fork, and spoon: For Camp 1 and Camp 3. Bowl and mug ought to be large.

Medical & Personal

Toiletry kit: Toothbrush, toothpaste, skin lotion, alcohol-based hand sanitizer, soap, comb/brush, shave kit, (bring travel size bottles to keep your kit small).

First-aid kit: Ibuprofen/Aspirin, various band-aids, moleskin, Neosporin-type suave, small gauze pad, the roll of adhesive tape, tweezers, safety pins. Include any prescription travel meds that may be prescribed by your physician (antibiotics, Diamox, sleep aids).

Water purification pills: These as Potable Aqua brand iodine pills. You will be given lots of purified water during your trek, but one bottle of backup purification tablets is always a fantastic idea for your travels. They're particularly beneficial in hotels on the best way to Nepal. You should not drink untreated tap water anywhere in Asia and bottled water at some rare cases may not be accessible.

Earplugs: Quite helpful in noisy lodges and tents. Available in most hardware stores and drug stores.

Bookmark this link to refer it with ease in future.  

We hope this post helps you climb Mt. Everest. If does! Do inform us :)

Resource- http://bit.ly/2Y1Fll7

[shadowsblades]

🤝 + 3

@themorningfell​​ // fifty reasons to touch someone  – not accepting

3.     …to say ‘goodbye’.

          Her eyes burn. Afew moons and the fel saturating thecity, speeding its long-awaited repairs, had seeped into the gazes of the tragicallysmall number of children to survive the invasion, clouding once clear, innocenteyes with nauseating green. A few moons, and Valeera had already recovered fromthe sick lethargy sapping their people of their power, had already become accustomedto trading stolen goods for the strength supplied by even the smallest amountof arcane.

         The Prince’sgifts will restore Quel’Thalas to its resplendent glory, they say. They willhonor their fallen with their resilience just as they do with their new name.The dark times will pass.

         But they will notpass soon enough.

         Her shift sags onher emaciated frame as clothing on a hanger, her breeches lashed around herwaist with fraying cord. Lacking the magic that used to maintain eternalspring, cold like she has never known it before sweeps through Quel’Thalas. Thegrass is crisp beneath the holes in her ill-fitting boots, the animals eventhinner than she is. Valeera sleeps during the day now as her ancestors oncedid; the nights are too cool to permit restful slumber, and it is easier to thieveand hide in the dark.

         Awakened, the sin’doreiguard their belongings more fiercely now. The new Blood Knights roam thestreets, enduring the disparaging looks thrown their way, vigilant for any signof trouble. The people are less charitable than they were before —— notthat Valeera had ever accepted their charity, she prides herself on that.

         Life inside thetowns becomes more challenging to sustain every day. Life outside the townsremains impossible. The Scourge are everywhere,and bandits like those who had murdered her parents are everywhere else.

         There are twooptions. Stay, wither, and die or risk death fleeing elsewhere and live.

         Valeera haschosen the latter, with Kalimdor to be her destination. Kalimdor, from whichher kaldorei ancestors where exiled and where the orcs that terrorised them now dwell.Kalimdor, where the Scourge are not.

         Her mind is made,her supplies packed into the bulging rucksack strapped to her back. As mucharcane as she could trade for without making a target of herself ( abigger target, for she already fightswith the other urchins ), a blanket from her own bed backwhen she had had a bed and a home around it, skins of water, a second pair ofshoes, some trinkets to trade for her passage across the sea. A dented swordhangs at her hip, the belt wrapped almost three times around her middle. She ismissing only food, and her aching stomach reminds her of its absence with everynear-silent step she takes.

         Through an openwindow, Valeera slinks into her last stop before she departs. The backpack andsword make her clumsy and louder than she ought to be, but as she crouches inthe shadows of the empty kitchen, ears straining for the sound of someone stirring, shejudges her entry to have gone unnoticed by the buildings sleeping occupants. She rests her bag on the floor and riflesas quickly and quietly as possible through the cupboards, wrapping and jammingas much food and she can fit into her bag, gnawing through other edibles thatwill not last as she does.

         By the time sheis done, her stomach is heavy and partially chewed morsels threaten to rise upout of her throat, so hastily she had eaten. She heaves her bag onto her back andhas to roll her shoulders forward to compensate for the incredible weight ofit. Airlia had not disappointed; her table had always been full, her doorsalways open for orphans —— her sundrops, the priestess called them, a term sopatronisingthat Valeera had ceased entering the ordinaryway.

         She feels only atwinge of remorse at stealing from her again.

         Until she raisesher head and sees her.

         Airlia’s flesh isso pale and her breathing so quiet that she could be mistaken for a ghost. For afraction of a second, Valeera does just that, nearly jumping from her skin asshe stumbles back against the cabinets, the point of her sword wedging in the gap betweentwo cupboard doors and the bulk of the bag on her back preventing her fromfalling against them entirely. Her heart pounds in her ears and her handsfumble for her weapon but don’t draw it from her belt.

         “You don’t haveto steal, Valeera.”

         She bears herfangs at the pity in Airlia’s tone. What would she know? She has a home, food, friends,money. She doesn’t understand.

         Valeera doesn’tmove as the other elf glides closer, fearful of what the priestess might do to her thoughnothing in her nature has ever indicated at roughness. She knows now thateveryone has two sides, and the pretty face Airlia shows to the children isonly one of them.

         But Airlia onlytouches her face, her lavender eyes so full of regret that Valeera jerks herhead away rather than she beheld with such sympathy. She does not need it. Thequel’dorei winces, and she takes the opportunity to scrabble out the window anddisappear into the night.

[dingoes8myrp]

Gilmore Girls: Being Dad Takes Practice

This is a one-shot Gilmore Girls fanfiction set sometime after A Year in the Life.

Stars Hollow never changed. Every time Jess visited it was like stepping into a time capsule. 2002: perfectly preserved.

The streets were vacant, which was typical after midnight in a small town. Creepy, maybe kind of cool. He couldn’t decide.

His Jeep Cherokee was the only car parked at the diner. Slightly eerie.

He was hauling his rucksack and laptop bag out of the back seat when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Of course,” he muttered.

He’d been driving for about three hours bored out of his mind, plenty of time for a phone call, but someone picked this moment to call. Probably Jason or Shawn trying to get him to come out to some bar, forgetting he was out of town.

By the time Jess unlocked the door to the diner his cell phone had stopped vibrating, and he promptly forgot about it.

He re-locked the door and headed up to the apartment, flipping on the overhead light. It was basically one room with a few strategically placed pieces of furniture. How Luke ever got Lorelai to go out with him after taking her back to this place was still a mystery.

Jess stopped at the bathroom to take care of some long-drive-related business. His next move was to dig his comfiest pair of sweatpants out of his bag. He emptied his jeans pockets onto the desk: keys, wallet, phone. He heard the damn phone vibrating as he changed into his sweatpants.

“Ugh. Really?”

He folded his jeans and set them on the edge of the bed. He noted the fresh comforter with a decidedly feminine but subtle floral pattern. He made a mental note to thank Lorelai. There was no way Luke would have picked that comforter out, or made the bed in a style he could only describe as aggressively hospitable. That bed had definitely been made by someone who’d spent the bulk of her adult life in the hospitality business.

Jess picked up his laptop bag and pulled out a rumpled manuscript he’d come across at work. They didn’t get a lot of hard copy submissions these days. Mostly digital. The typeface had caught his attention. There was a slight unevenness to the lettering that made him think of a typewriter. This thing was old school. Someone had bought paper just the right tooth and heaviness, typed and re-typed pages at a typewriter, roughly bound it themselves, and mailed it. Enough time had been put into this draft, it deserved to be read by somebody.

He was supposed to be writing. That was the whole point of this particular excursion.

Well, he didn’t need to write the second he got there. He could take a few minutes to flip through a piece he hadn’t gotten to before he left work. Sure. That was fair.

He sat in the rickety wooden chair that clearly wasn’t meant for comfortably sitting. He’d have to grab a chair with a cushion from downstairs or something.

He’d just flipped past the cover page when the phone vibrated again. A short burst this time. Probably a text. He ignored it and started reading “Firehouse” by Edward Ray.

I was eight years old the first time I saw a fire. A real fire that swallowed a house. It was my neighbor’s house. I’d seen it every day for as long as I could remember. Mrs. Ellis always smiled and said hi to me. She was the nicest lady in the neighborhood. I watched her house disappear in front of my eyes. The air smelled like burning wood for days and Mrs. Ellis never scrubbed the smoke smell out of her favorite robe.

The phone again. Jess’s eyes ticked over to its illuminated screen.

That was one too many phone buzzes too late at night.

He picked up the phone and swiped the screen to read the alerts.

2 missed calls.

1 new voicemail.

1 new text message.

He checked his missed call log and found a number he didn’t recognize.

He read the text message from the same unknown number.

Hey Jess. This is Logan. Sorry to bother you so late. I’m sure you’re asleep. If you get this please call me back. Not quite an emergency, but definitely important.

Jess frowned. He didn’t really talk to Logan Huntzberger much on a social level. They both came to the same family gatherings on occasion and they were mostly cordial, but he wasn’t somebody Jess exchanged texts and phone calls with. Jess called up his voicemail and listened. Logan’s familiar lighthearted tone came through, but there was a slight strain to it that was a little alarming.

“Hey, Jess. It’s Logan. I thought maybe I had the wrong number until I heard your voicemail message.”

A piercing scream in the background made Jess wince. Little Lori Gilmore was only really fussy when she didn’t feel good. But, she was hands-down the worst patient he’d ever encountered.

Logan’s voice had gone softer and sounded far away.

“Okay, sweetie. Shh, it’s alright. We’re gonna get through this, little lady. Promise.”

Jess could picture him cradling the red-faced toddler, trying not to drop his sleek cell phone. There was a fumbling noise on the other end.

“Hey, sorry. You probably heard that. Miss Lori is not a happy camper and, uh…”

Logan gave a nervous laugh into the phone.

“I gotta tell you, I’m struggling here. I know Rory’s got that D.C. thing so I’m trying not to bother her, and I don’t want to freak out Lorelai if I can avoid it.”

There was another tiny but definitely unhappy scream from Lori in the background.

“I, uh, I gotta hang up. Please call me back if you get this. I’m just… I don’t know, man. Help me out, here.”

By then Logan’s normal too-thick charm had worn off and he simply sounded tired and desperate.

Jess cut off the voicemail and sighed heavily. He couldn’t say he was terribly fond of Logan, but the guy was trying. He saw Lori every other weekend like clockwork. He came to every birthday and almost every holiday. The only time he’d ever canceled was that time he’d taken a client to a sushi bar in Denver, which had led to what Rory had referred to as “bathroom-destroying food poisoning.”

It wasn’t enough, in Jess’s opinion, but it was consistent. It was an effort, and that counted for something.

Regardless of how Jess felt about Logan, Lori was one of his favorite humans on the planet. She was definitely a Lorelai. She was bubbly and excitable, at times hyper as the Tasmanian Devil. She was stubborn, strong-willed, and smart. She was such a pleasant kid to be around, and it sucked that she was sick.

-

Logan could feel the heat coming off Lori as he held her. Fever. That was definitely a fever. Right?

Or was she just worked up from crying all night? That was a thing, wasn’t it?

Thermometer. He needed a thermometer.

Did he have a thermometer? He couldn’t remember.

He cringed as Lori screamed right into his ear and her little sobs shook her whole body.

“I know,” he cooed. “You poor kid.”

He bounced her gently as he paced his apartment. Well, it wasn’t really his apartment. It didn’t feel like his yet, anyway. He’d had it carpeted and furnished, but he hadn’t gotten to spend a lot of time there yet. It didn’t have a lived-in feel.

Logan was singing quietly under his breath. When had he started singing?

“What would you do if I sang outta tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song. I will try not to sing outta key.”

Her sobs softened a little, so he kept singing, kept rocking. He kissed her head and remembered something about kissing a kid’s head to see if they had a fever. Who had told him that? Surely it never would’ve occurred to his mother. Had he seen it on TV?

It didn’t matter. He’d try it.

Her head still felt hot. Fever. Definitely a fever, he decided. He didn’t know how bad a fever. Could you take a kid to the ER for a fever? Should you take a kid to the ER for a fever? Was that a panicked parent faux-pas?

Who the hell else could he call?

His cell phone rang and he looked around frantically.

“Where is it?” he gasped.

He checked his pockets, the counter, the coffee table. All the while it rang and rang.

“Alright, where’d your dumb dad leave his lifeline, Lor?” he muttered.

He found it on the kitchen table. He must’ve paced his way out there at some point. He felt a flood of relief when he saw Jess’s name come across the screen.

“Oh, thank God.”

He answered the call, cradling Lori carefully in one arm.

“Jess, hey.”

“Hey. What’s goin’ on?”

Jess sounded like he always did: kind of bored and slightly annoyed to be speaking. But Logan was happy to hear that voice.

“Oh, man. I’m unraveling over here,” he admitted. “I have Lori at my place. Well, my new place, and she seemed fine until about two hours ago. She just woke up screaming. I gave her some juice and some Cheerios to see if maybe she was hungry. Big mistake. She threw up everywhere, so I dealt with that. Then I changed her and that was another natural disaster that has yet to be named. But we dealt with that and she seems to be doing okay with the water I gave her. But she’s just miserable, and I think she has a fever. But I don’t have a thermometer – I don’t have anything here, man. I don’t know if I should maybe take her to the hospital or…”

Panic had been rising significantly in Logan’s voice as he talked, and Jess had listened carefully to pull out the facts.

“Okay, slow down,” he broke in. “How long ago did she throw up?”

“Uh… About an hour.”

“And the diaper situation?”

“Same.”

“Alright. What’d she eat today?”

“Uh… This stuff Rory packed. She didn’t seem to want to do a meal, so she was kind of snacking here and there. She had some yogurt, some cereal with milk, cereal without milk, applesauce. I tried to cut up a banana for her, but she didn’t go for that.”

“Oh, yeah. She doesn’t seem to like the texture,” Jess said. “Loves to mush it into the couch, though.”

Logan laughed.

“Yeah, I lost track of the banana pieces. That’ll be a fun surprise later.”

Jess sighed on the other end.

“She could just be sick. It happens. Do you have any liquid Tylenol or Motrin, anything like that?”

Logan tried to think.

“Uh, hang on.”

He set the phone down on the coffee table so he could hold Lori while he dug through the bag Rory had left him. He pulled out a storage bag with what looked like a medicine bottle in it.

“Flintstones vitamins,” he muttered.

He also found cream for diaper rash, band-aids, and a tiny tube of sunscreen. He rocked Lori as she let out another wail. He’d almost gotten used to it at this point. Logan walked quickly to his bathroom, knowing it was useless, but he had to check. After ransacking his medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards, he finally got back to Jess on the coffee table.

“Jess?”

“Yeah.”

“Man, I got nothin’.”

There was a stretch of silence just long enough to make Logan’s heart pound just a little.

“Where’d you say you were again?” Jess asked.

-

Lorelai sat curled up on the couch in about four-thousand blankets.

Okay, it was more like four, but she’d literally grabbed every blanket she set her eyes on and wrapped them around herself like some crazy blanket hoarder. Crumpled tissues littered the coffee table. She’d given up on trying not to contaminate her surroundings as soon as Luke started sneezing.

The kettle whistled in the kitchen where he was making tea. They’d both given up on sleep hours ago, and they’d moved downstairs when trying to sit up in the bed failed to prevent the post-nasal drip or stave off the nausea.

“Alright,” Luke announced. “I double-brewed you a chamomile and put some ginger in there. It’s gonna taste disgusting, but there should be enough honey in there to make it tolerable.”

His gruff voice was hoarse and nasally. He set the red mug down in front of Lorelai and she rested her head back against the couch cushion.

“Ugh. What happened to the foamy chai?”

“That has caffeine.”

“So? I like caffeine. Caffeine and I are the oldest of friends. I could genuinely argue that caffeine was my first love.”

“And milk.”

“What did milk ever do to you?”

Luke grimaced as he sat down. His muscles were aching.

“Milk creates phlegm,” he explained, “which isn’t good when you’re already making your own.”

He gestured toward the tissue massacre on the table.

“It’s also bad for nausea,” he concluded.

He sipped his own plain mint tea. Lorelai sighed and picked up the mug.

“Fine. But this better make me feel better,” she muttered.

She sipped it. It was indeed disgusting and it did not make her feel better.

The doorbell made them both jump and look at each other.

“Are we expecting anybody?” Luke asked.

He genuinely wasn’t sure. Suki tended to drop by at odd hours. Sometimes Lane, but she normally called. Lorelai stared at the door.

“No. I don’t think so.”

Luke stood up, putting down his mug.

“What are you doing?” Lorelai hissed.

Luke paused mid-step around the coffee table.

“I’m answerin’ the door,” he said.

Lorelai looked horrified.

“Uh, no you’re not.”

“What do you mean?”

“Luke! Have you paid any attention at all to any horror movie ever made?”

Luke rolled his eyes as he headed for the door.

“No.”

Lorelai stood, shuffling past the coffee table trying not to drop any of the blankets and failing miserably. She trailed a train of blankets behind her as she tried to beat Luke to the door.

“Luke! Stop! We can’t answer the door if we don’t know who it is!”

“How the hell are we gonna know who it is if we don’t answer the door?” Luke demanded.

“Liv Tyler!” she cried.

Luke stopped and turned to her, a confused look on his face.

“Excuse me?”

Lorelai coughed and held up a finger to tell him to wait until she stopped. He did, but he glanced over his shoulder when the doorbell rang again.

“Lorelai.”

“Liv Tyler,” she repeated. “Liv Tyler got murdered horribly by those creepy mask people in The Strangers.”

“Oh my God,” he groaned. “What are you talking about?”

Lorelai smacked his arm.

“The Strangers! Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman go to this cabin and he’s in a tux, she’s in this beautiful dress, and he has everything all set up with candles and rose petals…”

Luke gave up and turned back toward the door. Lorelai got the rest out in a rush.

“And it’s super romantic and awkward because he asked her to marry him and she said no, but then somebody rings the doorbell and Scott Speedman answers and it’s this creepy girl and she’s all ‘Is Tamra home?’ but they don’t even know Tamra.”

“I’ve aged fifty years standing here. What is your point?” Luke barked.

“They got murdered, Luke! Like, really hardcore murdered. I am Liv Tyler in this scenario, and it’s worse for her because she didn’t even answer the door and she got murdered anyway.”

Luke paused to think about that.

“Wait a minute, if they both got horribly murdered, how is it worse for her than for him?”

Lorelai sighed, annoyed.

“Because she wasn’t the one who answered the door, inviting the murder into the house!”

With a huff, Luke opened the door.

Jess blinked back at him.

“Hey. Sorry, I thought you guys were up.”

“We are,” Luke said. “What’d you just get in? You get into the apartment okay?”

Jess frowned.

“You didn’t get my texts?”

“No,” Luke said. “What texts? What’s goin’ on?”

Lorelai came up behind Luke. Her nose was red and raw.

“Hey Jess,” she said. “Everything okay?”

“Here, come in,” Luke said.

He stepped aside. Jess took in the scene as he walked into the house.

“What happened to you?” he asked.

Luke shut the door.

“What? Oh. I dunno, some kind of bug.”

“The flu,” Lorelai insisted.

“It’s not the flu,” Luke argued.

“It feels like the flu!” she called.

She coughed as she headed back to the couch, flopping down with her mountain of blankets.

“We got flu shots. It’s not the flu,” Luke said.

“Actually, just because you get the shot that doesn’t mean you won’t get the flu,” Jess said.

Luke gave Jess a wide-eyed look.

“What are you doing to me?” he whispered.

Luke had been trying to convince Lorelai she didn’t have the flu, even though admittedly it did feel an awful lot like the flu.

“See? I told you!” Lorelai said.

“It’s not the flu!” Luke called.

He coughed and Jess backed up a step.

“Well, this explains Lori,” he muttered.

Luke frowned.

“Lori?”

“Yeah. Logan’s got her and she’s sick.”

“Oh no,” Lorelai said. “Oh, poor Lori.”

“Poor Logan,” Luke added.

“Oof. Yeah, that’s not gonna be pretty,” Lorelai agreed.

Jess shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.

“Yeah, he needs something for her fever. I guess he hasn’t completely moved into his place in Hartford yet. I figured I’d run him over some stuff.”

Luke and Lorelai looked at one another and Luke studied Jess.

“You’re gonna run a few things over to Logan,” he repeated.

Jess looked from him to Lorelai and shrugged.

“Yeah.”

Lorelai laughed.

“Oh, boy. If my granddaughter wasn’t sick and I wasn’t actively trying not to puke this would be a little funny.”

“Wait, why’d he call you?” Luke asked.

Jess sighed.

“He didn’t want to bother Rory ‘cause she’s working that thing in D.C., he didn’t want to freak you guys out, so he called me. Anymore questions? Can I loot your house for sick toddler supplies now?”

“Okay, but leave the liquor and the cash,” Lorelai said. “I got big plans for those.”

-

Logan’s right shoulder was killing him. Any time he put Lori down she started screaming. At least if he held her she seemed to stop now and then. Singing seemed to help, too, but he was running out of songs he knew all the words to.

“Alright, how ‘bout this one?” he said. “Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play? Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day. The sun is up, the sky is blue. It’s beautiful and so are you. Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play?”

He searched his brain for the words.

“Dear Prudence… Dear Prudence… Fuck, how’s the rest go?”

He cringed and looked down at his daughter, her face all red and puffy.

“Ooh. I probably shouldn’t say ‘fuck,’ huh? That’s probably a bad dad move.”

She scrunched up her little face, her lower lip trembling. Logan held her close to his chest and rocked her.

“Okay, no more Prudence.”

-

Logan’s apartment was in Hartford. Expectedly, the building was nice. Modern. It didn’t have the charm of the New York City apartment building Jess lived in that dated back to the 1800s.

Logan buzzed him in as soon as he rang. Jess hopped into the elevator carrying a grocery bag of supplies in one hand and a big stuffed bunny in the other.

When Jess knocked he heard Logan’s quick footsteps and Lori’s inconsolable crying. Logan opened the door with Lori in his arms. They both looked worse for wear. Logan gave a strained smile.

“Please tell me you’re here to rescue me.”

“I’ll do my best,” Jess said.

He came into the apartment and shut the door.

“I just… I can’t get her to stop crying,” Logan said. “I mean, she has these, like, tiny moments where she stops for a second, but I think it’s just to get more air.”

“Yeah, when she’s sick she’s a totally different kid,” Jess said.

He set the bag and bunny down on the coffee table.

“Want me to take her for a minute?” Jess asked.

“Yeah, go for it,” Logan said.

Logan carefully handed Lori over and Jess held her against his chest.

“Hey, sweet baby girl,” he said. “What’s going on, pal?”

Lori buried her face in his neck and he touched her head and her back. She was sweating and warm. She sobbed and cried. Jess moved side to side to rock her a bit.

“Alright, you’re okay,” he said.

He turned to Logan.

“Go into that bag right there and get the thermometer please.”

Logan nodded and rifled through the bag. He came back with an ear thermometer. Jess took it.

“You turn this on, wait for it to start flashing, then you put this part in her ear, wait for it to beep.”

Logan nodded and watched as Jess took Lori’s temperature. When it beeped they both looked at the screen.

“Oof,” Logan said. “A hundred and two.”

Jess handed him the thermometer.

“Yup. Go back in the bag and get the Infant Tylenol and the little plastic syringe.”

Logan pulled out the box of Tylenol and read the back.

“So I just suck it into the syringe. Got it.”

Logan went into the kitchen to prepare the dose while Jess rocked Lori. She still fussed, but she’d stopped screaming. Logan came back with the syringe.

“You gotta show me how you got her to stop crying,” he said.

“I just rock her side to side like this. Almost like you’re swaying more than rocking. Puts her to sleep too.”

Logan handed Jess the syringe.

“I’m assuming there’s a technique to this.”

Jess smiled.

“Not really. Just hope she swallows it before she realizes it tastes like shit.”

Jess held up the syringe in demonstration and Logan watched as he repositioned Lori and put the plastic syringe between her lips. In a moment the liquid was gone.

“Look at that. What a trooper,” Jess said.

He shrugged, handing Logan back the syringe.

“That’s all there is to it.”

Logan nodded.

“That’s gonna take care of her fever?”

“It should,” Jess said. “Just wait and see. I also brought some other stuff and that bunny’s one of her favorite snuggle buddies.”

“Awesome. Thanks, man.”

Logan stretched his neck.

“Hey, do you mind if I hit the bathroom?” he asked.

“No. Do what you gotta do,” Jess said.

He sat down on the couch with Lori.

-

Rory took a break from typing to wipe her nose, which had been running pretty steadily for most of the day. She tried to focus on the piece she was writing. Her laptop screen seemed so bright. Her eyes stung.

Her phone dinged on the bed beside her and she picked it up to read the screen.

Mom: What does the flu feel like?

Rory frowned and typed out her reply.

Rory: Dare I ask?

Lorelai: Does it feel dizzy and sweaty and maybe slightly pukey?

Rory called her mother, who answered immediately.

“Hi. I might be dying.”

Luke yelled out in the background.

“You’re not dying! She’s not dying, Rory.”

Rory tried not to laugh.

“Well, now I’m all confused.”

Lorelai sighed.

“We’re sick, kid. Like, really sick. Room spinning, head throbbing, stomach churning. Luke’s bones are aching.”

“Ick.”

That didn’t bode well for Rory’s runny nose.

“Indeed. Huge ick,” Lorelai agreed. “And I need to apologize in advance for infecting Lori.”

“Lori? Oh, no!”

“You promised you wouldn’t say anything,” Luke called.

“I can’t not tell her, Luke!” Lorelai replied.

“Tell me what? What happened?” Rory asked.

“All I know is she’s sick. I’m expecting a full report soon.”

Rory stood from the bed, laptop forgotten.

“How sick?” she asked.

“I don’t know, honey.”

She broke away for a coughing fit and Rory had to hold the phone away from her ear.

“Mom?”

She heard Luke talking, but didn’t catch what he was saying.

“Hello? Mom? Luke? Axe murderer?”

“Hey, Rory,” Luke said. “Sorry. Your mom’s hacking up a lung because she dumped my tea in the sink.”

“What?”

“That tea was disgusting!” Lorelai called.

Another coughing fit commenced in the background.

“Is she okay?” Rory asked.

“Yeah. She’s getting a cough drop out of her purse.”

“Oh, God. That could take a while.”

“Oh, she dumped it all over the floor already.”

“Yikes.”

Rory looked out the window of her hotel room. There wasn’t much of a view. She was on one of the lower floors, so she could see a dumpster and a parking lot.

“So, what happened with Lori?” she asked.

“Well, Jess came by--”

“Jess?”

“Yeah, I guess Logan called him to ask for some help.”

Rory creased her brows, not sure she understood correctly.

“Logan called Jess?” she asked.

“I know, must’ve been desperate.”

“Why wouldn’t he call me?”

“I guess he didn’t want to worry anybody. Maybe he’s embarrassed. Kid’s used to being good at everything. But, being dad takes practice, you know?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“He’ll get it,” Luke said. “And Lori’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be a rough night, but she will get better and she will be fine.”

Rory smiled.

“Thanks, Luke. I’m gonna call Logan.”

“Oh, you can’t call Logan because your mom promised not to tell you.”

Rory rolled her eyes.

-

When Logan came out of the bathroom Jess was sitting on the couch holding Lori, patting her back with the TV on low. Logan looked at the screen.

“What’s this, Law and Order?” he asked.

“Doesn’t matter what you put on. She likes the TV. I think if it’s too quiet it freaks her out.”

“Right,” Logan said.

He studied the other man, who looked so natural sitting there holding Lori, so calm. Logan was a mess. He felt a pang of envy, but he also felt humbled.

“How do you do it, man?” Logan asked.

Jess looked up at him.

“You’re good with her,” Logan said. “Look at her, she’s feeling like crap but she looks so relaxed, ready to sleep.”

Jess shrugged.

“I’ve just had more practice,” he said.

He looked at Logan for a moment.

“I just know her routine, what she likes, what she doesn’t like. You just need more time with her.”

“Yeah, well, if I could clone myself that’d be no problem.”

Logan flopped down on the couch beside him and looked down at his daughter.

“That’s the thing,” Jess said. “It will be a problem.”

Logan frowned at him.

“Right now she doesn’t get it,” Jess said. “She’s little. All she knows is who’s around a lot and who’s not around a lot. So you have time to figure out who you want to be. You wanna be the guy his daughter wants at all her soccer games and birthdays? Great. Then be that guy. Or you’re gonna be the guy who works a lot and sends her expensive gifts she doesn’t want because you don’t know what she likes.”

Then Jess looked up, and Logan was ready to be mad at him. But the look on Jess’s face was sincere and warm, if a little hard.

“Don’t be the guy she can’t count on,” Jess said. “You don’t have to know what medicine to give her, or what her favorite stuffed animal is. You just have to be there.”

Logan nodded. Jess shifted to hold Lori out to him.

“You wanna take her?”

Logan was nervous to disturb the tranquility that had descended since Jess came in the door.

“She might start screaming.”

“She might,” Jess agreed.

Logan considered it and sighed.

“Alright, Lori. Cut your dad some slack. He’s kind of a dipshit.”

Jess handed her over and Logan cradled her like Jess had. She stirred and fussed, so he put her back on his shoulder. Jess stood.

“Keep an eye on the fever,” Jess said. “If it doesn’t come down in a few hours, call Rory. You might have to take Lori to the hospital, and Rory will be pissed if you don’t tell her.”

Logan nodded.

“Let’s hope we don’t have to go that route.”

Jess watched him for a few seconds.

“I’m gonna get going,” Jess said. “You got this.”

Logan smiled.

“Thanks, Jess. Seriously.”

Jess gave a nod and headed out the door. As he shut it he heard Logan singing to his daughter.