#bughead church

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From Missed Bliss, Archie’s Girls Betty and Veronica #11 (1954).

[imreallyloveleee]

for @bughead-bones and @stonerbughead who asked about my s5 murder mystery au: i plotted like 90% of this story out a year or two ago. who knows if i'll ever actually write it all, but if i do, it's going to switch POVs between betty, jughead & veronica. i've never written veronica's pov before, so that's been a little challenging. here's a snippet from jug's pov!

“Jess, have you seen my tie?”

“Nope.”

Jughead emerges from the bathroom to find her sprawled out across the motel room bed, tapping away at her phone. He presses two fingers to his temple, willing away the headache just barely beginning to throb. “Okay, well could you help me look for it? We’re going to be late.”

“I don’t think you have to wear a tie at a funeral.” Jessica slinks off of the bed anyway, leaning halfway over the chipped tv stand to peer behind it. He resists the urge to redirect her towards a more plausible spot, like the pile of clothes she’s left pooled by the foot of the bed. 

“I want to,” he replies tightly. He lifts her leather jacket off the seat of the desk chair — bingo. “Help me tie this?”

She complies, kissing his cheek as she loops the tie around his neck. “You seem really antsy about this.” She tightens the knot at the base of his throat and then tugs on the end a little, teasing, as she steps back.

“I’m about to give a eulogy for my best childhood friend.” 

“Yeah, your best friend who stole your girlfriend.” Jessica raises one eyebrow before laying back on the bed again, toying idly with the end of her long, black braid. 

Sometimes he wishes he’d never told her about that. If Betty’s at the funeral today, and Jessica figures out who she is, god only knows what she’ll say.

God only knows what he’ll say. It’s been a little over a year since they — he? she? does it matter? — ended whatever you’d call the semi-regular communication they’d carried on with ever since the breakup. For six years they’d texted back and forth: book recommendations, professional accomplishments, the occasional meme that made them think of one another. 

None of it came close to scratching the surface of their former relationship. But he misses it. He still finds himself reaching for his phone when he reads an article or a line in a novel that he thinks she’d like. Every time, he forces himself to set it aside. Her silence spoke for her, loud and clear: she doesn’t want to hear from him.

Jughead turns back towards the bathroom mirror, pretending to fiddle with his hair. “That was seven years ago.”

And I’m over it. And I’ve forgiven him. All the words Jughead knows he should say — the words that he thinks, most days, are true — congeal like putty in his mouth, unable to emerge fully formed.

“And now he’s dead,” he adds, unnecessarily. 

It still feels unreal, conceptually speaking: Archie is dead. Sure, he may have had some brushes with death — Jughead’s had more than a few of his own — but Archie Andrews wasn’t the kind of person who would just die. He half expects that when he walks into the church this afternoon, Archie will be standing right there, gathered with all their old friends and acquaintances, laughing at what a gullible sucker Jughead’s become in his not-yet-old age.

But the article is still there loaded on his phone, same as it was one week ago when JB had texted him the link: LOCAL ACTIVIST FOUND DEAD. Friends of Archie Andrews, 25, say they have questions. 

The piece went on to quote names Jughead used to encounter on a daily basis: Local businesswoman Toni Topaz. Riverdale Sheriff Tom Keller. Town coroner Dr. Curdle Jr. It read almost like something he himself had penned as a macabre writing exercise, filling in the blanks of a murder mystery plot with the people who had once formed the landscape of his own life. 

[godheadjones]

part two of riverdale info dump (part one)

the core four are over for dinner and fake thornhill then penelope sends them on some missions where archie fights a bear, bee and vee drink poison and are slowly dying and jughead fights chic (imposter brother) for role of game master. betty must shoot her father to survive and she does. after surviving the night they escape the forest and are all traumatized even more. lovely. they talk in pops and with the clashing of milkshakes, we see a flash to spring of next year. around a campfire stand archie betty and veronica in their underwear covered in blood, throwing a bloody crown beanie in a fire. jughead is dead. how? thats yet to be revealed. a few months pass, summer ends and archies dad dies due to the passing of his actor. its a very heartfelt episode and its very well done but stuff goes to shit again. but good things are going for jughead! hes at a preppy school for his writing, attending with a bret weston wallis and donna sweett, who are besties and writers. also mentionable bettys real brother comes to town and guess what, hes also jugheads brother, while bugheads parents are dating. its basically incest but no one talks about it. jugheads class has a competition for ghostwriter and surprise! he gets it and a yale scholarship! thats so good for him, his loved ones congratulate. expect for the fact that it gets him killed. killed dead. bee vee and arch are all so sad, so sad that betty and archie get together! uh oh, it ignites old flames and jugheads not actually dead hes faking his death to prove the legend of stonewall prep. jughead besting death 2/? gifset. barchie cheat on their current partners and bughead and varchie break up around graduation time, which archie is too dumb to be able to do (he didnt have enough time to study with all his running away). 7, yes 7, years later, they meet up again. veronica is married to some guy named chad gekko. betty works for the fbi. archie just got back from fighting in ww1, a 4 year war. jughead published a book but at the cost of becoming and drunk. either way its a very lowkey interaction. jughead gets a job at pops and works with the new tabitha tate and they talk about the mothmen a lot. hm. what could that be? flames are kindled, couples get back and break up and its all a mess but before the season 5a finale we have betty and archie: fucking. archie and veronica: something is there. gay kevin and fangs: having tonis baby. jughead and tabitha: pining and a little kissing and handcuffs. chic and real half brother (charles) are actually gay criminals for each other so they try and kill betty after making her wed them. we get a hiram centric episode and the fans go wild. its only an episode tho, cause cheryl is starting a church to worship her dead brother. the mothmen are actually blossoms who incest incest and um. yeah. anyway pops blows up and they drive hiram out of town as his actor sadly leaves riverdale. hiram is not hiram forever. then archies house blows up and interrupts more barchie sex. now we’re in rivervale? and who is this jughead serling fellow showing us around town? most stuff is similar except the town sacrifices archie to the gods of the forest and no beta he die like jesus on the cross. more horrors haunt the town like the hot british devil, la llrona, and a history lesson on cheryls gay ancestors who is all one ancestor: abigal blossom. now archies alive again. yippee! jughead sees a dead jughead questions rivervale as she knows it and looks up on parallel universes. when archie is revealed as a killer (evil era) betty kills him and her and jughead make out with a bomb under the bed to try and destroy vale. twist tho. remember jughead serling. hes backkkk. he stops the make out ses and tells jughead vale to lock himself in a fuck bunker and write forever or else dale and vale die. by jughead have fun! dying is so fun tho you become a comic character with endless burgers at pops in heaven!

oh my god I need to make a part three of this. for just season 6b. that should be so fun

[chrissmou]

I posted 1,058 times in 2022

26 posts created (2%)

1,032 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@newtonsheffield

@fuckyeahanthonyandkate

@sassynach

@bridgertonland

@menacetoanthony

I tagged 37 of my posts in 2022

#kanthony - 14 posts

#my wriitng - 7 posts

#bridgerton - 7 posts

#inspiration - 7 posts

#anthony bridgerton - 6 posts

#my thoughts - 5 posts

#meet cute - 5 posts

#benophie - 5 posts

#kate x anthony - 4 posts

#kate sharma - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#violet had rescued all her children except colin and daphne so anthony doesn't know about them but edmund does

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hi everyone

So I am going to post a new sneak peak of a story from my one shot from my meet cute collection that's it is coming this weekend or sometime next week. It also a bridgerton one. And a Kanthony one too.

Also I have started writing a new one shot that I am going to post a snippet in the next week also. Another Kanthony and inspiration from something @newtonsheffield was talking a few weeks back but I will tell you then. The only thing I am going to say is that it is a soulmate fic but really from Molly's ideas but I will thank her always for the inspiration. She is amazing. It will a multifc for chapters for all the siblings the prologue is almost ready.

Also in the beginning of this week the first chapter of From painting to love is coming. You also will get a bit of background from the inspiration for that one.

3 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

#4

Thank you @newtonsheffield you just rescued me from a writers block I was having for my stardust AU.

4 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

#3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma, Sophie Beckett/Benedict Bridgerton Characters: Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Sophie Beckett, Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma Additional Tags: London, Modern Era, Meet-Cute, Double Dating, Tumblr Prompt Summary:

Meeting as the best friends/ wingmen/ chaperones of their two friends who want to go out together, but not alone. And they get to talking in the dinner.

4 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#2

My fic Marsterlist

Bughead

Abilities a New beginnings

Kanthony

Meeting because of Favor

From Painting to Falling in Love

History Repeats Itself Sometimes 

5 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

From a painting to falling in Love

This a Kanthony Renessaince AU I am writing that it is coming soon maybe in the next two weeks. That is a snippet from the first Chapter. 

“Good, actually. I have two new commissions, one of them is this one, of the Sharma Family and the other is from a church about Mary and Jesus, you know the typical one. It stationed on that stool, one of my apprentices is working on it.” He replied.

“Who are the Sharma family, I don’t believe I know of them.” Anthony asked his brother.

“I don’t think you have met them because mister Sharma is a merchant from India and he goes there very often, his shop here is managed by his assistant, Mr. Big. He sells mostly spices but also pigments and other things, he is very good at his job. I believe someday this week he is going again this time for something called tea. It was imported to India from China, his eldest daughter likes it very much, I believe our mother will too. His wife is from India too but she does not go there often because of family problems they have. Mr. Sharma married again after his was widowed from his first wife and he had already Katharine, the one of the left so Mary’s family disinherited her for that reason.” He replied.

“Their daughters are really beautiful. The youngest seem sweet but the oldest seemed very commanding. She has a certain beauty in her.”

If you have questions you can send an ask

6 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kangyounghyun-s]

Perhaps... they will, maybe... someday, give us an actual bughead kissing scene without the camera fading to the fucking ceiling, lmfao

[satelliteinasupernova]

Honestly?

Considering how extra Jughead is, there should really be more bughead smut fics where Jughead is having, like, Hozier level meltdowns.

[thetaoofbetty]

i don’t which one of you nominated me (again, wow, i do not deserve that at all, you guys are either easy to please or someone has blackmail on you) for the bff awards but y’all continue to be too sweet and the reason i stick around while riverdale makes me contemplate rethinking all of my life choices on the regular 

[imthebadguyy]

Season one bughead was truly a religious experience

[eventyyr]

at book club we talked about the definition of home, and me being me, I couldn't help but think of bughead. they've both lost their childhood homes and more or less their families, but they have each other. they are each other's home. and that's both sad and extremely beautiful

[bughead-in-the-comics]

Jughead tries to convince Betty not to marry Archie in Missed Bliss, Archie's Girls Betty and Veronica #11 (1954).

[chenfordsrollisi]

Weird Riverdale Thoughts

I keep getting this image in my head of Betty and Archie about to get married, with Sheriff Keller walking her down the aisle, but as soon as Betty gets to the end of the aisle and stands before Archie, she takes off like out of a scene from Runaway Bride. I imagine her having pulled Toni aside at one point, and asked her to stand by the doors at the back of the room with the keys to her motorcycle, in case she got cold feet. And once Betty reaches Archie and the wedding party, she looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, Archie. I can't marry you. I'm in love with someone else."

Then she bolts back down the aisle, gets the keys from Toni, runs down the hall, pushes open the doors to the church, runs to the parking lot where the motorcycle is parked, jumps on, and speeds off.

I imagine her roaring through the streets of Riverdale, looking for a place to go where she can have time to catch her breath and collect her thoughts, where no one would immediately find her. And then I can see her calling Jughead to let him know that she's okay so that he and the other's don't worry, and that she loves him, and that's why she couldn't marry Archie.

I see Jughead convincing her to tell him where she is, and then he meets up with her, they talk, and eventually tell everyone the truth, and decide to give their relationship another shot. I doubt this will ever be canon, but I'd totally cheer if this ever happened on the show. I ship Bughead over Barchie, and if the show ever ended this way, I'd love it. It'd be the perfect ending for me.

Also, though I don't like Archie and feel like Veronica could do loads better, I wouldn't mind them ending up together. Veronica makes Archie easier for me to tolerate.

[blueandgoldoffice]

Hey I lost a fic a while ago and I can only remember maybe the first chapter. I’m pretty sure Betty is looking for jug and she finds him at the drive in, she stays with him there all night but she has to go to church the next day, I think they kiss when she gets there idk also I think the very first line is “Juggie”. I’m sorry it’s not a lot of info but it’s all I can remember but I know it was really good. Thank you for the blue and gold page it’s so helpful and I can normally find fics by going on the tags but no luck this time. Thank you again! I appreciate it!!

I'm having a bit of trouble with this one. I think I've read it - but I figure you'll get your answer a lot quicker if I turn this over to the group. Anyone know it?

Thank you @angelofcherryblossoms for this one!

Bughead by wordgirl80 (31/? - M)

Summary: "Jughead?" Betty's voice echoed through the empty, abandoned drive-in, her footfalls splashing in the puddles. She ducked beneath the cracked awning of the snack shack, wanting to get out of the rain for a brief moment. This place was so rundown and broken that it wasn't a surprise that the town had decided to demolish it. But the wrecking crew hadn't come yet, and that gave her a little bit of hope at least. She didn't have the same ties to the drive-in as Jughead, but she understood why he wanted to badly so save it. She would help him. They could write articles in the school paper, hopefully drum up some interest.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep16 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Thoughts under cut to keep tag clean!

- Archie feeling guilty about his platoon :(

- “Considering you always screw things up…” GO OFF QUEEN!

- Oh thank you for stopping the random musical number but still fuck you Penelope. ‘A young man of few words’ the writers coming after themselves wow

- Jughead 🥺🥺 but what was the point of that scene with Alice (though I’m glad to see her) like—they could’ve just waited for Betty to be available…

- Jughead apologizing to Principal Weatherbee for his apology tour

- Hermosa and Reggie ew but also Veronica’s reaction is priceless. "What KIND of thing?"But it’s sad yet telling that she had more reaction to Reggie x Hermosa than Barcheating. Fuck these writers smh

- I mean Penelope should be in jail but we’re gonna skirt over that huh… but anyways lets upstage her for the millionth time

- THE ANIMOSITY IN VERONICA’S VOICE ASDFGHJKL;

- God poor Archie…

- “I don’t think it’s a war you can win.” “Maybe not, but it’s a war worth fighting.” YES ARCHIE GO TAKE DOWN GENERAL TAYLOR!

- Hiram being dumb enough to not change his locks after his previous co-worker (?) goes to work with his daughter/rival

- OMG CHERONICA?! FUCK. bugdead really helping everyone actually get screen time together we love to see it! fuck bhva <3

- Jughead wearing purple, Jeronica’s color muah

- Jabitha in Pop’s <3

- Betty sabotaging Jughead in whatever way possible without even truly meaning to r.i.p.

- I hate this ministry cult church bs plot but Cheryl’s outfit is *chef’s kiss*

- Archie being Archie and doing the good thing by asking him to step down, hoping/believing that he would be as good as him and step down :(

- … He’s still a solider who WENT TO WAR? Saw awful shit? The army is not some elite group you freak

- Better opening wounds than to let some asshole gets away with murdering many men and therefore CREATING those open wounds...

- Jughead don’t use her novels… don’t do it… I know you will and that you’ll end up not going through with it but PLEASE

- God seeing the boy in the hallway all messed up is amazing cinematography, but feels kind of out of place for Riverdale. They can only write and shoot well when it’s a character and plot focused episode instead of an insane all over the place episode

- LMAO VERONICA SAID FUCK YOU HIRAM AS SHE SHOULD HAVE! Not Hiram calling Veronica petty…??? He’s the petty child, aka a little bitch as Josie puts it.

- Of COURSE Nana Rose was a beekeeper…

- That coptercab thing sounds like an awful idea asdfghjkl;

- Veronica finally getting rid of Chad from her life as she should!

- Jughead drinking alcohol :( He was clean for a week my poor baby, but it’s so hard to kick… hopefully the writers actually allow him to grow and get better

- I know bh don’t have sex or anythning but this music is so… suggestive?? Why make it sound like they’re gonna get together again stop babying the Bughead’s after all they’ve done to everyone and this show??? Let them whine and cry

- The guilt Eric must feel for doing that FUCK “let me bring this home for you, it would be my honor” stop this is so 🥺😭

- Penelope decides to stop them after they’ve done two “miracles”??? okay… lol

- WHOREMONGER AND ESCAPED CONVICT if you want her gone just send her back?? QUEEN OF TTHE BEES BROOOO her making her mother flinch damnnnn

- ERIC GOING WITH ARCHIE AWW what a G though

- VERONICA IN PINK MUAH! “If you’re gonna bee a big boy, you gotta party like a big boy.”

- “You’ve impressed me, Chad.” ew over an awful idea fajsdlfahsf okay

- “probably not, Jughead, but-“ the way they’re speaking is so awkward

- Why does Jughead have to apologize for the voicemail when he said nothing wrong?? Sure it was a bit much and toxic but he was RIGHT why can’t people call out Betty?

- “I’m in recovery”Jughead says, drinking alcohol...

- Betty’s not gonna apologize for cheating huh… oh yeah lets also bring up the fact that you stole Yale from Jughead.

- Betty’s more comfortable with serial killers than being a normal person… yeah we know Betty

- Betty choosing a serial killer over Jughead BUGDEAD!

- Jughead she’s never taken accountability, she’s not going to stop

- Jughead admitting it wasn’t his novel. Good for him, even though he’s gonna lose his career :(

- BETTY JUST LEAVING LMAO OKAY—

- “my boysenberry is blowing up!” asdfghjkl; Veronica sabotaging Chad MUAH WE STAN! YOU’LL NEVER BE AN ALPHA, CHAD, YOU’RE A BORN BETA.

- So now everyone knows that Chad crashed the helicopter and nothing’s gonna happen bc of it huh

- JABITHA GOT A POP’S HANDHOLD OH MY GODDDD

- “Why are you so nice to me?” Jughead never being able to tell when anyone (aka Tabitha and Veronica) is into him what a babie

- It’s so telling that Betty sees Jughead drinking and says absolutely nothing and only talks about what’s going on with her, but Tabitha immediately makes sure that he’s going to continue going to AA and get better. Jabitha eating Bughead up (which isn’t hard to do considering Bughead was never anything good)

- THEY TOOK GENERAL TAYLOR DOWN!! And Eric isn’t in trouble 🥺🥺

- Tabitha going to help Betty muah we love one of the best girls in Riverdale!

- Not Cheryl thinking she’s a witch… like sure I’ve thought of this for a CAOS/Riverdale crossover but—

- “I’ve got this bad feeling about what happens next.” me after every episode of Riverdale bc of thee dumb ass plots

- When the two miners are Archie and Eric and we get Betty digging him out despite how dangerous it is!

- “If Archie dies, you die.” We stan Veronica Lodge <3

[thatiranianphantom]

Lol barchie has thousands and thousands of fans now and bughead can’t even beat them in polls anymore. But yeah, keep believing they’re not popular :)

Hey, there's one!

You know, it is just so strange that once my inbox was not allowing anon messages, you were quiet as a church mouse. Not a peep, not a word of these thousands of fans that Barchie has that seem to be boosting the ratings real nice!

Maybe it's because my inbox was broken?

Or maybe you're just kind of a coward, who wants to appear confident but isn't even brave enough to put their name behind their message. Could that be it, sweet anon?

[mrscolesprouse]

No I totally understand all of that. The writing is definitely better than Riverdale and I understood the cheating but it hurt non the less. The Riverdale cheating wasn't justified and ruined two relationships just to fit a sing in. Now a whole season later still hasn't fixed it and it's going to finish soon. Hopefully we can get bughead back together soon again.

I can understand Jules and why she did it. However, I look at her and think she wants to fix Rue and then she could fix someone who has an addiction as she couldn't help her mother.

The scene when jules calls her Sponsor broke my heart. She really wants to try this time around but her addiction ergues are too string mixed in her depression and massive trauma and grief of losing her dad. That grief is still raw fir the whole family.

As for Lexi and Fezco I absolutely adore them together. I love their dynamic. I love how Yes it's the bad boy and perfect girl next door stereotype but it's not at all. Their so similar and a like but yet so different.

I love when Maddy baby sits you can really see the caring side to her. She let's down all these walls.

A few episodes back I thought something was definitely going to go on between her and the mother with her asking her to unzip the dress and how that whole scene played out and then we rolled into the last episode with the pool scene and them having a heart to heart. But that could also be taken as Maddys found a mother figure she's comfortable with.

Even if their's a slight age gap between cassie's mom and the other woman it still could work as they may have been in a different year same Kapa house.

It's such a tricky situation with Cassie because yes they weren't dating but deep down it was wrong because she knew the history between Nate and Maddy.

The fact Nate actually gave Jules the tape was a massive shock. I do think that deep down he still loves them.

I wish Kat will be honest with Ethan but she can't as she's not honest with herself. Which is honestly the reality with so many people.

It's interesting what their doing this season I can't wait to see how it pans out.

*i wrote this all thing and then it got deleted so sorry for the delay*

*haven’t watched the last ep so NO SPOILERS PLEASE*

i agree with basically everything you’ve said.

i think jules really cares about rue but yes, would rather rue’s drug problem be fixed then help her get through this time, and i don’t mean ‘get through’ like support her drug problem, i just mean to show her what she has to live for, show her there’s someone there for her. and i know that’s a lot of pressure for jules to be under. but not being able to fix rue does not give her any excuse to cheat on her. (that’s kinda the basic gist of what i said but i can’t remember and i’m really mad cause it was a good explanation)

i think you meant rue but yes i just love that scene. zendaya’s acting is phenomenal. the scene, i think it was a couple eps back, when she walks into the church and labrinth is there, singing, and it switches to her dad was so moving, i was bawling my eyes out. i also love ali talking to gia about how she’s feeling.

I LOVE LEXI AND FEZ. listen, i love fez because i know he got caught up in this life as a kid and he doesn’t want it, he so desperately just wanted to go to lexi’s play and have a normal night. i love them.

i love the side of maddy we see this season. i mean obviously like my heart breaks for her but i loved seeing the vulnerable side to her. she really cares for the kid she babysits and i think maybe she’s projecting her need for a healthy companionship.

yeah i heard people were finding them sexual. i don’t know i didn’t really get that vibe i think it was the scene set up but i honestly think this older woman figure is great for maddy.

i think that would be a really interesting thing to explore, cassie’s mum and samantha (minka kelly) seeing a dynamic with people who aren’t teens are always interesting to be.

i don’t trust cassie as far as i can throw her. she’s pissing me off. she has a victim complex, has no self awareness, and completely shit on all her friends to be with guy who she KNOWS was abusive to her best friend purely because she’s got daddy issues. like babe, we’ve all got daddy issues, i’ve got MAJOR daddy issues, but i have good morals and would never do what she did, so yeah she’s pissing me off. like your dad leaving is not an excuse for you to be a shitty person to your friends. *spoiler alert my dad left, i’m not sleeping with my best friends *abusive* ex-boyfriend*

sorry.

i need a breath.

okay.

nate rubs me the wrong way, but i definitely think he was being genuine and sincere when he gave jules the tape. (also side note, the show didn’t confirm if jules was going to explore her gender identity further after the ‘fuck anyone who’s not a sea blob’ episode, i think we could see her clothing and makeup change up but i don’t know if she changed her pronouns to she/they. online it’s says she/her, but i’m not 100% sure if they’ve changed them, so i don’t mean to misgender jules by referring to her as ‘she/her’)

kat’s gaslighting scene was awful to watch. i hated it. ethan did not deserve that. she should’ve broken up with him and been done with it. the way she did it was very disappointing and made me lose respect for kat. not that we’ve seen ANY of her this season but i hated that. poor ethan. deserved better.

really excited to watch the last ep!!!!!

thanks for this ask i’m sorry it took so long to get an answer! if anyone responds, no spoilers from tonight’s ep! <3

[diazpoems]

Me watching Riverdale S2:

THE WAY KEVIN IS RAISING HIS HAND TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY WHEN HIRAM ASKS FOR A VOLUNTEER FOR A WRESTLING DEMONSTRATION. THIS THIRSTY MOTHERFUCKER. HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.

I wish I could just jump into Riverdale and shake the characters and be like

Cheryl: Your parents fucking suck

Josie: Your parents fucking suck

Veronica: Your parents fucking suck

Betty: Your parents fucking suck

Archie: Your dads okay so far, I don’t know about your mom

Jughead: Your dad used to fucking suck but as a person, at his core, I don’t think he’s evil, and he’s getting better, but he’s got a ways to learn. I don’t know about your mom

Kevin: Your dad’s decent so far? Don’t know about your mom

Like especially Josie because I know it’s hard and that a lot of the trauma her mom felt probably manifested itself badly and Josie probably feels attached to her mom and like she owes her being a good daughter because her mom’s had it bad but like I also DON’T CARE. FUCKING TREAT YOUR CHILD RIGHT. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED. THATS YOUR CHILD. WOMAN UP AND BE A FUCKING DECENT PERSON. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD, FOOD IN HER MOUTH, GAVE HER A SINGING CAREER (But continue to control it and not give her leeway to think and act on her own). SHE DON’T OWE YOU SHIT. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR WEIRD LIFE-FUCKING-SUCKED-FOR-ME-BUT-IM-ALSO-A-CLASSIST-BITCH PARADOX. MY DAD’S GOT IT MADE RIGHT NOW BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS ROOTS, HASN’T FORGOTTEN THE DISCRIMINATION HE FACED AND THE FACT THAT HE GREW UP SHIT POOR EARLY ON AND HE HASN’T DECIDED “Hey, let’s ridicule people for being in a similar position that I was in!”

Basically, this is me begging for for Josie’s mom to ✨fucking do better✨

Anyways yeah normalize Riverdale characters disowning their own parents ✌🏽🥰

Hmmm. If I wasn’t completely and utterly for the Serpents before, the white serpents learning to shut the fuck up and stand with Toni and her grandfather in opposition of the genocide and colonialism that was perpetrated by Cheryl’s great great grandfather? Hell fucking yeah

Dude I’m sorta crying at the scene with Hiram seeing Veronica in her confirmation dress because he’s a piece of shit but this is how it goes down, like it’s a whole thing

I love that I immediately knew the meaning of “Catholic chic”. Apparently that’s all going to church every Sunday for the formative years of my life accomplished

I hope Penelope Blossom dies in a fire :)

OH MY GOD, LOVE SIMON CAME OUT RIGHT AROUND HERE, KEVIN IS ASKING MOOSE TO IT, MY COMFORT MOVIE OH MY GOD-

Ugh, I don’t trust Midge. Something about the tropey-ness of her being The Girlfriend™️ and her face, as well as the fact that she played Gen in tatbilb, something doesn’t sit right. The haircut feels too manic pixie, like she’s hiding something. Bad vibes

NOOO CHERYL ILL GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU 😭 GOD IM SO GONE FOR HER

Aaaaand she did some fuck shit. Aaaand Toni is pretty. Aaaand there’s the internalized homophobia.

Jughead saying that growing up Betty’s and Archie’s windows being parallel always bothered him sounds more like a jarchie admission than a bughead one, I’m just sayin’

BETTY AND JUGHEAD’S REACTIONS WHEN THEY HEAR THE BED SQUEAKING IS ME. Like the little amused but lowkey confused and baffled expression on his face as he’s like “is that their solution to everything? Can’t they ever just talk?” Like no apparently not. Me too Jug, me too-

Idk Vee, maybe he’s asking questions about your father’s line of work and the business of his associates because your dad and mom are fucking evil

What the fuck Veronica. I mean yay because that just gets us closer to Jarchie kiss but like what the fuck Vee. Also Jughead is super cute, like why does the blue eyes black hair thing absolutely melt my weak heart, like I didn’t choose to fall for this pasty ass white boy but here we are. Also Veronica’s eyes are really big and dark and pretty like girl help im falling for these two-

BETTY LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT, C’MON NOW CW, I KNOW WE’VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GROVELING WITH SPN BUT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WE NEED A JARCHIE KISS-

CAN HETEROSEXUALS PLEASE STOP FUCKING ALL THE TIME ON TV. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR STRAIGHTNESS IN MY FACE. NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT YOU KNOW.

“Entertain Jughead” 😏

DUDE. They were sitting ALONE. TOGETHER. In the WOODS. With them being the ONLY ones who haven’t kissed. DUDE.

C’MON MAN, THEY’RE STARING FUCKING LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER

If there are weird gay ships for straights then Jeronica is the weird straight ship for gays

Ok so is there a legitimate reason why Veronica is faithful to her parents and defends them to a tee and partakes in their mob shit or is she just daddy’s little fucking girl. Like it isn’t her fault that she’s been manipulated but it pisses me the fuck off. And people who want her to stay with her parents because supposedly they’re the only ones who love her even though it’s toxic and warped? Like do you have a brain?

Archie and Veronica really love supporting gentrification, classism, and Vee’s rich daddy and mommy’s innocence huh

Look i actually agree with Reggie for once, get Hiram’s ass, deal with it Veronica

Wow, nice, shaming Jug for eating. That’s cool, Arch. That’s awesome. And no Betty, she doesn’t have everybody’s vote. Because Veronica’s parents are motherfuckers and when it comes to choosing between a murderer/abuser/rich/classist/gentrifying fuck and supporting your bestie uwu guess which one im fucking picking. Also, THANK YOU JUG for explaining to your friend that even though he lives in a fantasy land where northside Riverdale is the only one worth referring to when talking about Riverdale at all and thus the only one that matters and is worth protecting, the southside exists and people live and have grown up in the southside and building a prison there where it will be even more easy to profile and incarcerate southside residents under false or exaggerated pretenses ISN’T A GOOD THING. That his own friend isn’t quite apart of his and Veronica’s and Betty’s socioeconomic caste and that he’s not going to pretend like he is, he isn’t going to be quiet about it just because you’re friends again. That he’s not going to lay down and let Archie explain what a good move for Riverdale is when he clearly means northside riverdale, let him explain how the southside needs to be dealt with to someone who grew up on the southside and knows it more (not the most, I’m not saying Jug isn’t out of his depth with certain aspects of being a full southsider) intricately than him. LIKE FUCK. ARCHIE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO. Like he just doesn’t get why building prisons and stereotyping and condemning all southsiders and gentrifying entire neighborhoods is really fucking bad and a big deal and it annoys me so much. Like yeah Arch, obviously you don’t see the big deal because it doesn’t affect you and you delude yourself that it doesn’t affect your friend either, but it actually is that bad.

In conclusion, Archie and Veronica and sometimes Betty are giving me headaches rn. Like I’m not saying Jughead is perfect at all but in this particular instance he’s the only one I agree with for the most part right now.

Yeah Arch, you see things differently because you’re not the one who’s on the receiving end of the problem

YES MOMMA ANDREWS. SNAP! GO FERAL! SHOW THAT SOB SOME CONSEQUENCES!

Ah, so this is the jarchie “break-up” scene. You know what. I feel no heartbreak. Get his ass Jug.

Get. His. Ass.

They sent Cheryl to a conversion institution. I’m literally crying. This isn’t an exaggeration. I feel like I want to cry. Just. God fucking damn it.

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GET BETTER. SHE’S NOT SICK. YOU ARE. DIE. FUCKING DIE. BURN IN HELL. AND PENELOPE BLOSSOM TOO.

“That’s not how things go in Riverdale” is a veiled way of saying “don’t challenge the upper class and don’t try to stifle gentrification,” I hope you all know