#buffy summers you deserved so much better

[raisedbythetv89]

Willow getting treated with such tenderness and support after losing tara and her “magic addiction” because she committed violence against others vs Buffy who got NOTHING after losing angel twice, her mom, her own life and then life in heaven just to battle severe depression and capitalism as well as demons because the only violence she was committing was against herself with her own self hatred (shown in her relationship w/ both shadows faith and spike) doesn’t at all drive me to the ends of my sanity not even a little 😃👍🏻

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

It's actually pretty funny (funny stupid, not funny ha-ha) Giles left Buffy in s6 because he felt she was too dependent on him. As Buffy has shown again and again she already knew how to be independent and self-reliant (Walsh even said it herself), she was just so destroyed emotionally at that point she didn't know who else to turn to.

Oh, it's so much worse than that.

At the beginning of season 4, Giles tells Buffy she's an adult now and needs to be more independent. At the end of that same season, he throws a drunken tantrum because Spike points out that he's not in charge, Buffy is-- particularly pathetic, considering Buffy was calling most of the shots from season 2 at the absolute latest, and Spike at least had to lie to get the two nineteen year olds to act as ridiculous and childish as he did.

In season 5, Giles is thinking about leaving because Buffy doesn't need him anymore, but stays because she asks him to help her train more and go deeper into what being The Slayer really means. Then he does leave when she dies, leaving the Hellmouth and a deeply traumatized fifteen year old girl-- who was also the person Buffy loved most in the world-- to the care of a floundering group of twenty year olds, a lovesick vampire and a robot. But, you know, they can call him if they need him or whatever, and Buffy didn't specifically tell him to be the adult in her absence, so totally not an insanely selfish and irresponsible thing to do!

Then he comes back in season 6 because obviously Buffy will need him after being brought back to life, right? But then apparently she was supposed to stop needing him within just a few months and be not only fully recovered from her own death, but ready to be a completely independent homeowner and single mother to a teenager at twenty years old-- while also slaying and saving the world and all that.

In season 7 he tells her she needs to take charge and be a General-- until he doesn't like her decisions and actively undermines her, then participates in throwing her out of her own house.

This is what I meant by emotional cowardice and immaturity. Rather than face his own mid-life crisis, regrets and feelings of inadequacy, he pushes it all off onto Buffy. He's not running from his problems! Chronically dodging real responsibility? Not wise old Giles! Being a petty little bitch rather than face his emotions? Never! No, no, Buffy is the problem. If she would just find a way to be completely independent but also defer to him at all times, he wouldn't need to do these things.

I don't think I'll ever have it in me to truly dislike Giles as a character, and all this is part of what makes him interesting. He's not inherently good, and also nowhere near as wise or put together as he likes to pretend he is. He's a mess of a man, but he usually comes through in the end anyway, and is ultimately a force for good in the world when he could have just as easily become another Ethan-- and probably a much more effective one.

I do, however, often want to reach through the screen and slap the stupid out of him.

Thanks for the ask!

[coraniaid]

Fuffy + keepsake + tension + quiet

Okay, this ended up being long enough that I should probably put a read-more somewhere...

Faith knows that none of this is real, right from the start.  

That’s something, anyway.  A small kindness on behalf of whatever higher power it is that runs all this.  It means that waking up, when it’s over, won’t hurt quite so much.

In real life, she knows that she’s about a year into a minimum twenty five year sentence.  That right now she must be sleeping fitfully on a hard bed in a gray cell somewhere in Stockton.  In real life she’s exactly where she deserves to be: locked up in a cage, in the dark, somewhere not quite in the ordinary world.  Somewhere she can’t do any more damage.  

Because she did it, all of it, everything they thought to charge her with and more.  She killed a couple of people, hurt plenty more, and she’d have kept going if somebody hadn’t stopped her, one way or another.  She’d enjoyed it – at least at first – and she’d been good at it.  Better than she’d ever been at playing at being some kind of hero. 

For a while, she’d managed to persuade herself that it was what she was born to do.  That she was becoming what she’d always been meant to be.  And then, later, when she’d sunk too deep, it didn’t matter anymore whether she enjoyed it or not.  There was no way out by then except to plunge head down and drown.

In the dream though, she’s back in school and none of that has happened yet.  

This isn’t a school she’d ever been to as a student.  Not one of the several different high schools back in Boston that had passed her back and forth like a particularly unappetizing hot potato before she’d done them all a favor and dropped out.  Not the school her mom had only sometimes remembered she went to, the school where she’d learned that other kids could smell weakness on you like a sickness and if you weren’t rich and smart and popular you were either strong or you were nothing.

This is the school.  Her school.  Sunnydale High.  Not ruined yet, not rubble and debris, but whole and unbroken.

She’s in the library.  Both of them are.  It’s just the two of them, alone in all the world.  Sparring, the way they’d used to back then.  Wondering if the other girl felt the same tension in the air whenever one of them – usually not her, at least the way Faith remembers it – would end up on top of the other at the end of a fight, trying to wrestle the other girl into submission.  Trying to pretend she didn’t notice the way the other Slayer’s tank top would ride up her stomach when she worked out, or the way her skin shone like gold when she started to break a sweat.  Back to working up the courage to ask if, now that Blueberry Muffin Scott was out of the picture, the newly single Buffy Summers could be persuaded to let Faith tag along with her to that Homecoming thing she was so crazy about.

In real life, a part of her remembers, this isn’t exactly how this had played out.  It had been a school day for one thing, at least for everyone but her.  The middle of the afternoon, not hours after midnight.  There had been crowds of kids noisily swarming in the halls outside, talking and laughing and totally oblivious to how important this moment was.  This is different.  Quieter.  Better.  Just her and Buffy.  The Chosen Two.  The way it should have been.

It hurts, reliving this.  Hurts more than she thought it would. But maybe this is also what she deserves.  Maybe she deserves to be punished.

“We never did get to go to that stupid party together, did we?” she says sadly.  “Not really.”

She’d always meant to.ask Buffy, afterwards, when it was too late, if things might have been different if they had.  If Trick’s stupid scheme hadn’t spoiled things.  If Buffy had seen that Faith could get dressed up and sit quietly in a limo like a normal girl; that she could follow the rules and make smalltalk while she waited to be asked to dance.  If she’d seen her standing up for her and putting that asshole Scott in his place.  If Angel hadn’t been back from hell already, already Buffy’s little undead secret, her hidden rival for Buffy’s attention and affection somehow winning without ever realizing he was in a fight.

But she hadn’t really ever been good, had she?  Hadn’t followed the rules.  That’s why she’s rotting in the dark in North California tonight and dreaming empty dreams about the past, not wherever Buffy really is.  Why she’s not where Buffy needs her to be.  That’s why she doesn’t get to ask that kind of question.

And maybe it’s why this dream memory of Buffy doesn’t even deign to answer the question she did ask.  Just smiles at her, politely, slightly puzzled, like what she said didn’t make any sense but it’d be rude to spell that out.

Maybe it didn’t.  Maybe this is one of those nightmares where she can’t even speak.  Where she keeps begging for forgiveness but can’t even get through that that’s what she wants.

Her stomach hurts most of all: an old, familiar ache.  Just nerves, she thinks at first, until she touches the place the pain is worse and feels something wet and hot and sticky.  Sees the dark stain spreading over the library floor where she's been standing.

“Damn,” she says wonderingly, looking down at the blood.  “I thought it had stopped doing that.”

At least the bleeding gets Buffy’s attention.

“Can I…?”

Buffy crouches down in front of her while Faith takes a seat.  Pulls her shirt away from her skin, gingerly.   Runs a finger slowly across her scar.  Gently, thoughtfully, almost fondly.  She doesn’t seem to notice the blood, or the way it stains her.  The way it sticks to her, red and vital and indelible.  Maybe she just doesn’t care anymore.  She looks up at Faith, green eyes wide and trusting.

“Does it hurt?” she asks.

Faith hesitates, but not for long. The bleeding seems to be stopping again anyway.

“Yeah,” she admits, because this is only a dream,  “Sometimes.  A little.”

“That’s good,” Buffy says, voice still gentle.  Expression still calm and innocent.  “You deserved this.”

She says it simply, like it’s just a fact.  Without any malice or anger at all.  And it is a fact, isn’t it?  Faith nods.  She did.  She does.

“Besides,” Buffy says, fingers still resting on Faith’s stomach.  On the place she’d slid the knife in two years ago.  “I think the scar suits you.  Something to remember me by once I’ve moved on.”

There's an echo there, of something Faith had said once herself, a long time ago.  When she was lost and flailing and drowning.  When she thought she was going to … but no, she thinks.  She won’t let herself finish that thought.

“Yeah, well, as keepsakes go I’ve gotta say it’s pretty crappy,” she grumbles.  “You couldn’t leave me one of your old stakes or something?”

Buffy shakes her head, absently wiping her hands clean on one of the books spread out casually on the table her friends all used to pile around for their secret little meetings.  Faith glances around, nervously, half sure that Giles is going to loom out of the shadows and throw a fit when he sees what they’re up to.

“I don’t exactly think they’d let you keep something like that where you are, Faith,” the other Slayer says, a little reprovingly.  Just like she used to do whenever Faith said anything wrong. 

Why can’t you be different? that voice says, even if this Buffy doesn’t.  Why can’t you try harder?  Buffy isn’t like Faith.  Half the time she doesn’t even want to be a Slayer.  She likes listening to her Watcher and worrying about tests and doing what she’s told and she’s never, ever going to joke about giving Faith a weapon again.

“Right,” Faith says, properly abashed.  “I guess I forgot.”

She hadn’t, not really, but it’s easier to pretend.  Not that Buffy seems to care.  She frowns, glances at her stake, suddenly in her hand.  Faith’s sure it wasn’t there a moment ago.

“Besides,” she says, “This one isn’t really mine to give you.”

Faith nods.  It was hers, wasn’t it?  The other one.  The girl who died.  The Slayer who she never met; the one who was supposed to exist between them.  Something had passed from Buffy to her, and then been passed back from her to Buffy.  Leaving Faith cut off, isolated.  A neglected offshoot.  A mistake.

“You never told me about her,” she says.

It’s not quite an accusation.  Not quite a simple statement of fact either.  She only remembers hearing her name said out loud once, in all the time she’d spent in Sunnydale.  Kendra.  Kendra the Vampire Slayer, who’d died less than a year after being Called.  

“You never asked,” Buffy answers quietly, a little uncertainly.  “And it was too …”

“... painful,” Faith finishes for her.  “Yeah.  I get that, now.”

Put like that, she supposes she and Buffy have both had a pretty good run.  Almost a decade, between the two of them.  More than most Slayers get.  More than a lot of ordinary people who don’t even get to enjoy the whole superpowers side of things ever get.  But nothing lasts forever, does it?  All they can do is delay the inevitable.

She has another memory, suddenly.  A moment she’d almost forgotten.  Her first night at Buffy’s place.  Having dinner; the first home cooked meal she’d eaten in God knows how long.  Pretending she couldn’t hear Buffy and her Mom quietly arguing in the kitchen.  That her Slayer senses didn’t let her hear Joyce tell Buffy that she didn’t want her daughter to die, or Buffy’s unwitting admission that she already had.  Remembers locking eyes with Buffy’s kid sister – who hadn’t stopped staring at her with a kind of quiet awe all night – and hoping her ears weren’t so sharp.  Helping herself to some of Buffy’s spare fries and winking at the kid while she did it.  Like they were partners in crime now.  Co-conspirators.

She’s never going to talk to Joyce or Dawn again either, she supposes.  Can’t exactly blame them for that.  Not after what she did.  She hopes they’re both doing okay though, back in Sunnydale.  Hopes that the world’s been kinder to them than she was.  But she guesses that that’s another sort of question she doesn’t have the right to ask Buffy.  Still, she–

A sudden noise surprises her.  A bell ringing, somewhere outside.  Shrill, demanding.  A summoning.  Not for her, of course – hell, Faith doesn’t even go to this school – but for the real Slayer.  For Buffy.

“I have to go,” Buffy tells her, almost like an apology.

Faith has a feeling she’s missing something important.

“To class?” she asks.

It’s the wrong question.  She knows that, even before the other girl shakes her head.  They’re both a little too old for high school, aren’t they?  Neither of them are kids anymore.  And somehow, without Faith noticing, Buffy’s changed out of the clothes she was wearing while they sparred.  Now she’s dressed in white; in an outfit that changes every time Faith looks at it.  First a dress, the sort Faith can imagine her wearing to Prom or to some other kind of high school dance, then a soft white cardigan over comfortable light gray pants like her Mom might have worn once, then a long white jacket stained with dust and ash and soot.  

“If …” Buffy starts, frowns, corrects herself.  “When you meet the new girl,  tell her …” 

The older Slayer shrugs.  Smiles ruefully, a little bit embarrassed.

“I dunno.  I haven’t figured it all out yet.  Just make up something cool.  You were always good at that, right?”

Her tone is more playful than pointed, but Faith can’t help but flinch a little.  Yeah, she’d told all kinds of dumb, bullshit stories when they’d first met, hadn’t she?  Desperate to make everyone think she was fun and exciting and interesting; to make the infamous Buffy Summers think that maybe she was going to have a little competition now.  To make her think she was worthy.  That she deserved to be alive when her Watcher and everyone she’d ever been supposed to protect was dead.  To convince her – convince herself – that they could even begin to be equals.  Of course Buffy had seen through that.  Of course she’d known they weren’t.

“You know me, B,” she says weakly.

She does.  She always has.  That was at least half the problem, wasn’t it?  No matter how cunning she thought she was being, she could never fool Buffy for long.

Now Buffy looks at her, and she sees her – every aspect of her, even the broken and ugly parts, the rotting and wrong parts she’d always thought she was able to hide – and Faith thinks that, in the way she only ever will do in dreams, she accepts her.  The real Buffy would have judged her, again.  Found her wanting. Asked her why she couldn’t just be perfect like Sunndale’s own Little Miss Sunshine.  

But this Buffy is different.  She looks at her, considers. Decides.  Leans forward, slowly, and kisses her gently on the forehead, the way that the real Buffy never did and never would have done.  It’s not forgiveness, exactly.  Faith knows that she doesn’t deserve that; knows that she never will.  Not even from a memory.  Not even in a dream. 

It’s something close though.  Call it acknowledgment, maybe.  Call it recognition.  Understanding.  An admission, finally, that Faith wasn’t crazy to think that they could be the same.  That they could have been the same, if only Faith had–

The bell rings again.  Louder, this time.  More insistent.  Buffy touches Faith’s shoulder, gently, just once.  A parting gesture.  Takes a step back, eyes never leaving hers.

“Be brave, Faith,” she tells her.  “Be better.”

Then she’s gone.  Slipping through the twin library doors like a pale ghost before Faith can respond.  They swing shut behind her, somehow locking closed again as they do.  The sound they make echoes throughout the library, hard and heavy and forever.

When Faith manages to force the doors open and stagger outside – before she even has time to wonder if the library doors always led right to the front of the school like this – she can tell at once that Buffy is gone.  No matter how hard she looks, there’s no sign of the other Slayer.  No flash of blonde hair or white clothing in the distance.  No sign of anybody else at all.  Just clear sidewalks and abandoned cars as far as the eye can see.  Deserted houses and abandoned playgrounds and other quiet, empty places. For the first time in nearly three whole years – for the first time since she was Called – she’s completely and totally alone.  But the sun is creeping over the horizon and the sky is full of birds.

[trealtox]

I hate season 7 of "Buffy the vampire slayer"

Let's get this straight, I like these series. They are fun and entertaining (and I only started watching it because of Spuffy). But I HATE season 7.

First of all, what is the deal with those guys? Out of the blue all characters (Spike excluded. Love him❤️) start doubting Buffy and her leadership. This girl saved all of you hundreds of times, and when the world is on the edge of collapsing, you turn your backs on her?! If she's such a bad leader, then why did you put all the responsibility on her shoulders? Why did you bring her back from heaven? To tell her, that she's not better than you? I'm sorry guys, but your crew is: a whining bitch-boy, magic (read as 'drug') addicted witch, a blorb of energy, a former vengeance demon and a killer watcher. With your list of deeds, I have bad news for you: none of you goes to heaven. NONE. She IS better than you.

Second of all, what is their sudden problem with Spike? In the last season all Scoobies want to kill Spike and say that it's because he's dangerous. Well, he is. Just like all of you. Your killer count talks louder than you (he killed because he was souless and he feeds on blood. You killed because you could. There is difference). They keep saying that he should be taken out because he is dangerous, and yet remind me, who held him by their side while he was useful? And did Scoobies thank him even once? (I actually don't remember. Tell me, if they did) Buffy is the only person who actually tries to be reasonable and accept that Spike has changed. In return she gets a potential slayer,a school headmaster and her own father figure being all mad at her, saying that she is the problem. If you want to kill him so badly, just do it already and stop making Buffy responsible for your own wishes (not like I would forgive them if they did)

Point number 3. Again with the hypocrisy of Scoobies. Faith comes back, sees that girls can't stop complaining and decides to take them out clubbing. Buffy sees that and gets mad (logically). Later on everyone decides that Faith should be the new leader. Why? Why would a former killer and a traitor be a good leader? Because she took a bunch of teens drinking, when you should all be ready to fight? If I recall, it was almost considered a crime for Buffy to rest, when there were better times. Now, when Buffy is tired and stressed from constant responsibility, all the potential slayers say that she's "not cool". Scoobies just can't be more hypocritical. Faith killed people out if her own free will. She teamed up with a villain, and she enjoyed it. Buffy made one mistake of attacking one villain. What do Scoobies get out of that? "Buffy is not better than us. Faith is. 🎶Let's put this guy infront of the crowd🎶". And let's be honest with that: Giles acts petty in here. The only reason he stands against Buffy, is because she got sick of him lying to her and telling her to kill Spike, so she honestly told him that she can't trust any of them. He got offended by her disobedience so much, that he decided to get rid of her. That's not a nice thing to do to a girl who is like a daughter to you.

Btw, Faith deserves a second chance and Spike doesn't? Spike was SOULESS. He wasn't supposed to be good and yet he almost died just to be the better version of himself. At the same time Faith was supposed to be the protector of people, yet she decided to join the homicide. She was creepy enough to SMELL THE KNIFE. And yet we get a whole storyline about "bad Buffy still thinking of her as a killer." The hero we deserve, I suppose? Btw, Faith IS a killer. She enjoyed it. I don't know why Scoobies want to forgive her so badly and give her a bunch of teens, taken away from Buffy, but they don't trust Spike.

And my favourite. The cherry on top. THEY KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE. Giles had his own place. Xander has his own place. Willow wasn't homeless before she moved into the Summers's house. And yet, when they needed a place to put all the potential slayers, they took them into Buffy's house. And then they kick her out. The "good guys".

Buffy needs no enemies with friends like that.

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Dawn Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

(cw abduction)

She's the classic "people are annoyed because she acts like a teen" character. There's a variety of spoiler reasons why people feel this way, but they are wrong to hate her as a whole. She introduced interesting conflict, and is a fun character to contrast the college aged cast around her. She's a babby and deserves the world despite the world constantly traumatizing her

-

Dawn could have burned down a couple of buildings and id still be like you know what that’s fair. She learned she really only existed for about a year and then her mom dies and then her sister dies in her place and then her sister comes back but she’s different and all distant. Then the only other parental like figure who helped take care of her while her sister was dead dies. Just a whole lot of life changing things happening in like two years. 

-

Oh man, this poor girl has it so rough. She gets accused of being whiny and annoying (which she kinda is. in like. one episode.), but she's been through so much! She was created from a glowing ball of green energy and given fake memories of being Buffy's sister, then she goes through the trauma of finding out she's "not real" and watching both her mom and sister die within a few months of each other... but some people still think she's annoying, I guess. 

-

Dawn is brought into being as 13 year old girl. Unlike the rest of the main cast she is played by an age appropriate actress and acts the most like an actual teen would. Within her first year of existence her mom gets brain cancer, seems to get better and then suddenly dies anyway after they all thought she was out of the woods, Dawn finds out her entire existence and all her memories are fake because she’s a cosmic key made to look and act like a teenage girl so her chosen one sister would protect her, she gets kidnapped, her close family friend gets feeble minded trying to protect her, and then her chosen one older sister dies to save Dawn’s life. In her second year of existence she manages to bring her sister back from the grave only to have her sister become horribly depressed while also having to give up her education and take whatever job she can get because she’s basically Dawn’s single parent now. Dawn reacts fairly normally for someone who goes from the slightly spoiled younger sibling to a massive source of pain and trauma for herself and everyone around her. If anything the show doesn’t give the time and focus necessary beyond a couple of episodes to do this storyline properly. Of course she’s annoying, younger siblings usually are. Of course she makes bad decisions, NO ONE IS CHECKING IN WITH HER ABOUT ANY OF THIS AND THE ONLY PROPER ADULT IN HER LIFE FUCKED OFF TO TEACH HER SISTER A LESSON ABOUT BOOTSTRAPS.

[hersterical]

How aware do you guys think Faith was of her own plan to provoke Angel into killing her in ‘Five by Five’? That was definitely her plan from at least the moment Wolfram and Hart hired her to kill Angel.

Within the context of the fight she had with Buffy in ‘Who Are You?’ I feel like even Faith would’ve taken some time to self-reflect just for a moment or two before going back to repressing.

I think that she was perfectly aware that that was the end goal of her plan the whole time but was very purposefully refusing to acknowledge it or put it into words even within her own mind. Her train of thought would go something like ‘I need to make Angel as angry as possible so that he doesn’t hold back when we fight’ and then stops her thoughts there because she knows what lies at the end of the path and if she continues to feign ignorance, then her death wouldn’t be her choice and not her fault.

It’s possible that her whole plan was totally subconscious, but that seems unlikely to me based on the end of ‘Who Are You?’ and some of her lines throughout ‘Five by Five’. It’s also possible that she was aware of her end goal from the beginning, but that just doesn’t sound like Faith to me.

I also love that it’s Angel who she chose to be the one to kill her. Besides the fact that he’s one of the few people in the world who would be capable of killing her when she goes all out (again taking the responsibility off of her), I love that she wants the guy who Buffy had tried to kill Faith over to be the one to do it. I love how she’s more upset about Buffy leaving the guy she stabbed Faith over and found a new boyfriend within a few months than the actual stabbing or anything else from their complicated history. Faith wants her death to be at the hands of someone else deemed unworthy by Buffy Summers. Someone else who is a monster but is still somehow better than her (why else would Buffy love him, even if it was just for a short time, when Buffy wouldn’t give Faith a second glance even before Faith screwed up?). Someone who is in many ways the same person as Faith and is still better than her even though he’s done worse things.

I wonder if Faith remembered a time when Angel tried to offer her compassion and understanding and if a part of her hoped that he would do the same thing again.

Faith already knew Buffy’s judgement of her, and that was before the whole kidnapping Buffy’s mom and stealing Buffy’s body and life thing. But Buffy is the ideal. How could perfect Buffy with the perfect life possibly understand? Angel though, Angel is just as much like Faith as he is like Buffy. He’s all honorable and good and he also knows what it’s like to be corrupted and to take a human life. Angel is her last chance. If he of all people thinks she deserves to die, then that’s what she deserves. Possibly even scarier than that is that if he thinks she deserves a second chance, then she might actually deserve a second chance.

Obviously these two aren’t the only people she seeks validation and guidance from, that’s one of her biggest things. Just look at her relationship with the Mayor. That’s why it’s so great in ‘Sanctuary’ when she makes the choice for herself to go to the police. I feel like every decision we’ve seen her make so far has either been something that someone else has told her to do, or because she’s felt like she’s had no other choice. She is definitely backed into a corner in ‘Sanctuary’ but she also has both Angel and Buffy fighting for her and the opportunity to skip town. The easiest way for her to avoid the responsibility of making a decision would just be to let whatever outcome of that fight to decide her future. The easiest way to avoid the consequences of her actions would be to run away. But Faith doesn’t do either of these things. She finally steps up and take on both the responsibility of choosing her own life path and the responsibility of owning up to her actions. Faith is the one who decides that she deserves to face punishment and the opportunity for redemption but that she doesn’t deserve to die. Faith made the decision that she deserved to live. “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Thursday, August 29

Buffy: I You guys seem down with the slayage, all tricked out with your walkies and everything. Cordelia: Yeah, but the outfits suck. This whole Rambo thing is so over. I'm thinking more sporty, like Hilfiger maybe.

~~Dead Man's Party~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Watching (Angel/Cordelia, G) by Apache Firecat

Kiss (Buffy/Giles, G) by The_Crazy_Knight

Those Who Hold With Fire (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Dirtyaim

[Chaptered Fiction]

Evil Friends, Chapter 2 (Andrew/Warren, M) by JohnnyB

Supporting Loki (And Thor), Chapter 1 (Crossover with Marvel, M) by SomeMeaninglessName

Mysterious Destinies, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by EnchantedWillow

To All We Guard, Chapter 28 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by simmony

Keep You Ghosted, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, R) by hydranjenna

Something Lost Something Found, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Safire

Dungeon Designs and House Keeping, Chapter 40 (Fantasy crossover, FR18) by MistofRainbows

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:The Weight of the World by tmcarlee

Manip:Buffy and Willow Collage by gamerrat_13

Manip: Collage #109 Song: The Night- Exitmusic by thedecadentraven

Sculpture: [polymer clay sculpture] by simongablelundmark

Artwork: hell's bells - anya deserved so much better i am currently kissing her on the cheek... by mistyintherivers

Artwork: for kairenn-n by magicinavalon

Artwork: The fleet of ships commissioned by a captain with great taste. by lilibethdrawsreylo

Artwork: design for Spike by captain-ghost

Artwork: [ref sheets and designs for cat-ified BTVS characters with more in reblogs and tags] by captain-ghost

Wallpaper: Scooby Gang by revello-drive-1630

Icons: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E08 — I Robot... You Jane by nostalgc

Icons: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E08 — I Robot... You Jane by nostalgc

Icons: Alyson Hannigan in Buffy - 1x09 (The Puppet Show) by nostalgc

Meme: buffy text posts!! by youhavethesun

Gifset: Buffy Meme: [5/5 Songs] Key - Devics by lovebvffys

Gifset: 7x05 | “Selfless” by clarkgriffon

Gifset:5.15 — "I Was Made to Love You" by dailybtvs

Gifset:buffy & angel + season two part one by ptieuca

Video: Buffy summers - Figure You Out by juliaroxs241

Video: BUffy Summers - Half Life by juliaroxs241

Video: Buffy and Spike - Hostage By Billie Ellish by Naki-a Littlejohn

Video: abby ♥ | bed chem! #bangel (mildly NSFW) by lostlcve

[Reviews & Recaps]

I Robot, You Jane Fashion Part Three by theoverlookedoneedits1997

I Robot, You Jane Fashion Part Four by theoverlookedoneedits1997

The Puppet Show Fashion Part One by theoverlookedoneedits1997

The Puppet Show Fashion Part Two by theoverlookedoneedits1997

Buffy the C̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ ̶P̶r̶e̶d̶a̶t̶o̶r Vampire Slayer | 7x6 "Him" | The Normies Group Reaction! by The Normies

Buffy The Vampire Slayer 7x02 - "Beneath You" REACTION! by Big Time Knights Reacts

Buffy S02E21 "Becoming (Part 1)" Spoiler Review by LGRN - Entertainment

Showtime: Buffy 7x11 Reaction by Dakara

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 4x5 & 4x6 REACTION | Buffy goes Stone Age & Oz meets Trouble! by The Horror Bandwagon

Podcast: Buffy S7E8: Sleeper by Booze & Buffy

[Community Announcements]

WIP Big Bang: Finish Your Sh*t ⋮ Round 4 of the Regular WIPBB art claims is live!

[Fandom Discussions]

[found footage episode concept] by elliesgaymachete

[Academic essay: Good Slayers are Powerful in the Streets and not in the Sheets] by secretsofthewilde

[Spike's changes between seasons 5 and 6] by nicollekidman

[Buffy/Angel was NOT forced in 7x21] by zalrb

the very specific flavour of feminism in buffy [and about Xander Harris] by lordsfromelsewhere

the line “i loved him” —past tense lol—and making that the basis of proof [for a ship] by littlenastieswewhispered

[about Tara and Willow but no spoilers past mid S5 for OP] by lesbianmarrow

if season 3 Buffy was just super open and blunt with Faith. by imsorrythatusernameistaken

how angel looks... running a law firm... by figsandfandoms

[discussion of cat-ified BTVS characters with photos of real cats] by uss-genderprise and captain-ghost

... and why did they think that was the best catalyst for Spike seeking out a soul? [Seeing Red - with more in tags and replies] by boogiedown

one thing that bothers me about the sexual assault in seeing red... by suncaptor

Willow getting treated with such tenderness and support... by raisedbythetv89

[how people react to seeing vampires drinking blood] by lesbianmarrow

[podcasts and shipping goggles and show reviews] by lesbianmarrow

sorry sorry sorry but spike's behavior in season 5 so far is sooooo funny by lesbianmarrow

-.- — I could write in my BA paper about how the death of Miss Kitty... by krimreader

and then i glance up and see Buffy reading the card with the flowers from Brian... [The Body - with more in tags and replies] by alchemistc

I love that Willow and Anya end up becoming good friends after starting out disliking each other... by 5bi5

What If: Faith died? by multiple authors

Are the quirky, blunt characters on Buffy really just autistic? by multiple authors

Buffy's mates suck by multiple authors

Is season 7 better than season 6? by multiple authors

Am I the only one who was hoping Oz would come back in season 7? by multiple authors

https://www.reddit.com/r/buffy/comments/1f4ciaa/what_exactly_were_they_going_for_with_riley/ by multiple authors

Harmony: The Ultimate Arch Nemesis by multiple authors

Cordelia by multiple authors

Whose wardrobe from Buffy would you steal? by multiple authors

Do you think Buffys inconsistent strength can be explained by her powers being tied to her state of mind? by multiple authors

Slayers questions by multiple authors

Wonder how much insurance they would cost in Sunnydale by multiple authors

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[iwillrememberyoumarathon]

Bangel fans, we want to hear from you! During the run-up to the IWRY Fic Marathon in November, we’ll be getting to know each other through our Meet the Fandom series. Answer the questions here to join in.

What is your name?

Lea

Where do you hang out?

Tumblr: @liam-summers

Podcast: Investigating Angel Podcast

Instagram: @investigatingangelpodcast

Do you create any fan works?

I make gifs and I co-host an Angel The Series rewatch podcast called Investigating Angel Podcast (sister pod to Becoming Buffy podcast) 😊

Funniest Bangel/Buffyverse moment?

"I'm a funny guy 😑" and anytime Buffy and Angel put their best bitch faces on to let people know that they don't have time for them 🤭

What Buffyverse opinion would have you chased through the village with pitchforks?

Cordelia is not loved by me 🫣

I don't hate her and I don't love her…I'm mostly indifferent toward her, and at times very annoyed. I will say though, I do feel badly about the way her character was treated and she did deserve a better arc.

Share a headcanon you have about Bangel or the Buffyverse?

That Buffy and Angel sometimes sneak off to see each other at that place in the middle (you know THE place) and they've done it since he left, although not often but when they really need it 💗

How would you have given Buffy and Angel their Happily Ever After?

Post NFA, Angel shows up at Buffy's doorstep in Rome and she takes him in. They get to know each other again, they fall into a comfortable routine of patrolling and training slayers and hanging out with their friends and travelling Europe, they find themselves inevitably drawn to each other but they try to take it slow. That lasts about 2 weeks. They ask Willow to fix the curse. She does. They get all up on each other and live happily ever after. THE END.

Basically, put them in the same city and they’ll end up all up on each other very quickly lol

(Ideally Angel Shanshu's and is human but even if he wasn't, I think they could have some variation of a happy life together for whatever time they have)

Last fic you read?

The Mature Plan by Maren

Slay, Lay, Obey - Cordelia, Spike, Warren?

Slay: Warren because I can't let this man exist in the world. For women ✊🏻

Lay: Spike because what else is he really good for? He's not allowed to talk to me though.

Obey: Cordelia cause she has her shit together but might slay myself if she nags me too much

Fill in the quiz so the fandom can meet you!

[deansmom]

The characters I love are the ones who are the heroes, but don’t believe that they are. The ones who people don’t always like, they don’t always like themselves, they don’t always do the right thing or save the day - but they always try. Because at the core of who they are, whether they want to acknowledge it or not, is a good person.

Dean Winchester spends the entire show thinking that he’s poison, his existence in the storyline is the problem, that most people think he’s the bad guy, and he still tries. He still tries to do what’s right. Does he fuck up? Obviously, he’s a person who is alive, but he still gets up, and tries again. He looks in the mirror and sees the worst version of himself, sees the worst things he’s ever done and none of the amazing things, and is still like “fuck you, I’m going to try, because that’s what people do. They try to help. They try to be better.”

Bucky Barnes is, as far as he’s concerned, always going to be the bad guy. He’s got too much blood on his hands, too much red in is ledger to be anything else, but he tries to be better, even still. Because that’s what you do. If you can help people? You do it. Regardless. Not because he thinks he’s a good person, but because in his world, that’s what you do. You help where you can. “Do no harm, but take no shit” is his motto. Nobody would’ve blamed him for walking away from the Avengers. Nobody would’ve blamed him for retiring. He gave so much of himself against his will, and he still chose to continue fighting.

Buffy Summers knows she’s the hero of the story, but she spends most of the show feeling like she isn’t. Feeling like she might even be the bad guy, that like hey, maybe if I’m out of the picture, bad things won’t happen. And then as the show evolves, she gets more life experience and trauma, she realizes that she can’t and shouldn’t always be the hero. She knows she isn’t likable. But she still shows up, she still fights, and she’s willing to die for the people who don’t like her, because that’s what you do. She goes through the teenage phase of “well I’m not going to help you because you suck” and then realizes very quickly, it doesn’t matter if they suck, because she can help. And she wants to be the good guy that people think she is, even if she doesn’t think she deserves it.

Carol Danvers is the epitome of “I was the bad guy for a while, so now I’m going to fix that.” But she knows that not everybody likes her. Not everybody wants to be saved by her. Some people still think she’s the bad guy, and she still makes the active choice to fight to protect those people too. Nobody would’ve blamed her if she walked away for a while. Nobody would’ve blamed her if she had said, “hey, I just went through this whole traumatic thing, and I need a minute to figure out how to deal with that… alone” - but she didn’t. She saved the world, because according to her, that’s what you do.

Natasha fucking Romanoff makes Bucky’s guilt complex look rational. She had her entire life stolen from her. She doesn’t even really know how old she is. She doesn’t even know if Natasha is the name her parents gave her, or the name the red room gave her. Everything that makes you a person was stolen from her when she was a child, and she became a fucking superhero. She was so concerned about the red in her ledger that she joined shield to become a good guy and start writing her wrongs. Not that she’d ever say it out loud, but she cared so painfully and deeply about everyone else, that she didn’t think twice about sacrificing herself so the rest of the world could get their people back. She just said “that’ll be enough, right? If I give myself, if I do this for everyone else, that will be enough” knowing full and damn well that the red in her ledger would never be able to be wiped clean, but damn it if she wasn’t going to fucking try to balance out those scales.

They can all be summed up as “I’ve done a lot of harm, and I’m not a good person, but I’m still going to help, because it’s the right thing to do.”

[twelverriver]

8 shows to get to know me better tagged by @babygirlgiles

buffy the vampire slayer (everyone who knows me knows how much i am OBSESSED with btvs and buffy summers i bring her up in every conversation <3)

doctor who ( i love this show so much. rewired my brain chemistry. if i ever go a day without saying u know this reminds of something that happened in doctor who and then i proceed to ramble about dw for five to ten minutes know i have been switched out. i feel sooooo normal about this show <3)

angel ( in my actually ats is a great show era. it’s not but i love it so much so that makes up for it right????? it doesnt deserve the brainrot it causes me but WELL. i love it in spite of its creator)

fleabag  ( do i even NEED to say anything about fleabag !!!!!!!!! possibly best show created in the 21st century.) 

succession ( i reference this show every day it’s the thing that consistently makes me feel better without fail every time i feel bad i love this show SO much)  

the good place ( if you haven’t cried out your entire SOUL and every fluid in your body don’t even talk to me)

agent carter (my introduction to marvel!!! peggy carter will forever be my favourite marvel character)

hart of dixie (this show has HEALING powers!!!!!)

precious mention to every sit com ever <3 i love new girl i love you parks & rec i love you modern family i love u b99 etc etc

[spuffybot]

As a Buffy fan, I’ve enjoyed your blog for a while. Just curious, have you checked out vampire diaries as well? I’ve finally watched it, and it has a lot of similarities to spuffy.

Hi! First of all, thank you so much, this made my day.

Now, have I seen TVD? ABSOLUTELY! Delena is one of my top 5 favorite ships of all time and I agree, there are so many parallels to BTVS.

For me the obvious parallels are Damon = Spike, Stefan = Angel, Caroline = Cordelia, Elena = Buffy, Alaric = Giles, Tyler = Oz, Bonnie = Willow, Jeremy = Dawn, Matt = Xander, Aunt Jenna = Jenny Calendar, and of course, losing your humanity = losing your soul.

Julie Plec was a huge fan and when you combine her love of Buffy with Kevin Williamson’s brilliant knack for teen drama (Scream, Dawsons Creek, I Know What You Did Last Summer, the man is iconic) you get something so addictive and brilliant.

There’s so many storylines inspired by Buffy and even though it can be flawed at times (Bonnie deserved better) that is one of my favorite shows and ultimate comfort shows.

I have a Delena side blog @delena-devoted but I’m terrible about posting there.

Thanks for saying hey 🖤

[raisedbythetv89]

Just saw someone being judgmental towards Buffy and Buffy ALONE for victim blaming in the Beauty and the Beasts episode…..

GEE I WONDER WHY BUFFY WOULD CURRENTLY THINK EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO VICTIMS IS THEIR FAULT AND WAS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT

Calling out only ONE character in btvs for this behavior, and the one who is victim blamed herself the most is not the call out you think it is…. Like have you been paying attention AT ALL up to this point??? Do you only see the victim blaming when it’s that blatantly obvious???

Btvs has a SYSTEMIC victim blaming problem that obviously stems directly from jw himself as xander is also the biggest perpetrator of blaming Buffy for every single terrible thing that happens to or even AROUND her followed by Joyce, Riley and Faith. Anya, Cordy, and Spike’s (in season 4) are used less frequently to blame Buffy as well with joss pretending they are just being blunt and honest but it’s just furthering the “everything is Buffy’s fault” narrative and that is NEVER countered by the narrative or any of the other characters!!!! Occasionally Willow will advocate for not attacking Buffy or assigning blame but even that is rooted in her fear of conflict and wanting to keep the peace more often than it being about believing Buffy isn’t at fault and just defending her.

It’s not until season 6 and joss is less involved that we finally get Spike telling Buffy “it isn’t her fault” with Katrina and Tara forgiving her for both loving and using Spike and girlie has an entire mental breakdown both times because being forgiven and accepted instead of blamed for mistakes literally DOES NOT COMPUTE and she BEGS to be punished and told she’s wrong because she doesn’t know how to accept anything else because of her treatment at the hands of her “friends”, family and romantic partners for the last five years

Even in fiction we need to practice not just looking at a person’s problematic behavior on an individual level but within the context of the systems they live in and the community they are surrounded by.

If you’re genuinely shocked and confused the parentified slayer who has heard “one girl in all the world” more times than she can count, was blamed by her mother for “not making better choices and having better judgment” when she was the victim of a manipulative and predatory older man and feels responsible for all the harm and deaths ANGELUS caused just because she had sex once AND for having to send Angel to hell and therefore feels responsible for nursing him back to health as well you haven’t been paying attention to the actual dynamics at play or what’s been going on up to that point AT ALL.

[xxpinkgalaxykidxx]

My Top 10 ships of 2021

Hi all, I thought I would do one of these again. 2021 has been really awful for me to be honest, and I have taken much solace in these funky little ships. Whether it be fan art or fic, I’ve really appreciated them. I hope you can appreciate me vomiting up this little list.

10. Buffaith (Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Two gorgeous women fighting each other and having a complex homoerotic relationship? You know I’m in.

9. Alison and Mike (Alison and Mike Cooper from BBC Ghosts)

This show was made for me and these two are made for each other. I have already watched this show 5 times through this year lol. 

8. Espresseleine (Espresso Cookie and Madeleine Cookie from Cookie Run Kingdom)

My brother got me into this game this year and I love these little jerks. I hope Devsisters makes it canon.

7. Chillirye (Chilli Pepper Cookie and Rye Cookie from Cookie Run Kingdom)

The best Cookie Run ship idc. Enemies to Lovers Excellence

6. Jonmartin (Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood from the Magnus Archives)

Shhhh I’m not done with Season 4. No spoilers.

5. 24067 (Kang Sae-byeok and Jiyeong from Squid Game) 

Omg these tragic lesbians.... What do you mean they’re dead?? They are chilling on Jeju Island

4. Lokius (Loki and Mobius M. Mobius from Loki)

Honestly Loki (and Spiderman) are the only reasons I care about Marvel. And these two are very cute.

3. Creek (Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak from South Park)

I did not expect this... I thought I was never gonna watch South Park but I saw fanart of these two and thought I “oh I’ll just watch one episode to see this ship” and ofc now I’m binging and hyperfixating on the whole show. 

2. Janto (Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones from Torchwood)

I finally watched Torchwood this year, and oh my god these two deserved better. Stream Torchwood Serenity for clear skin.

1. Lumity (Luz Noceda and Amity Blight from the Owl House)

I finally caught up with this show this year and oh my god these funky wlws. It means so much to me to see a canon wlw couple in a kids cartoon. Can’t wait to see more from them!

[coraniaid]

I don't know how it's possible to watch Season 3 of Buffy and not notice that Buffy Summers is  consistently the one character most willing to come to Faith's defense, both before and after Allan Finch dies.

I mean, yes, I understand how in-universe it's possible for Faith to not notice this.  It's very natural that she doesn’t: Faith's a traumatized teenager with literally no support system.  She isn’t used to anybody else believing in her or caring about her. 

She’s somebody who is always willing to believe the worst of others (“all men are beasts”, “nine times out of ten the face [a person] is showing you is not the real one”).  And her own sense of self-worth is very fragile and deeply intertwined with her relationship with Buffy, fluctuating wildly between "I am better than everyone else (because I am a Slayer like Buffy)" and "every parental figure I've ever had has told me I was stupid and worthless and they were right (I will never be as good as Buffy)".  

So it's easy for her to interpret Buffy's overtures of friendship as rejections of a deeper connection, to take her suggestions that they should work together as judgments that Faith isn't good enough on her own and that she needs to act more like Buffy.

(And ... okay, yes, it’s also true that sometimes Buffy does judge Faith, and she does think Faith would be better off being at least a little bit more like her.  I think it’s clear that Buffy does care about Faith, and wants to protect her, but I don't think Buffy's perfect.  She's often afraid to express herself clearly or talk about her feelings, especially after what happened with Angelus in Season 2, and she does have a definite inclination to assume she knows best and that other people should just listen to her without question. She's a traumatized teenager too, even if that's not always quite so obvious.)

And crucially, Faith doesn't get to see Buffy defending her when she isn't around.

But the audience?  We do get to see that.  We see how much Buffy believes in Faith and how her first instinct is almost always to stick up for her.

We see it at the end of the first episode Faith appears in, when Buffy is talking to Giles about their fight with Kakistos.

Buffy: "[Faith] really came through in the end.   She had a lot to deal with, but she did it.  She got it behind her."

-- S3E03 | Faith, Hope & Trick

(This is also, as the episode makes clear, an example of Buffy comparing herself to Faith and deciding that she needs to follow the other Slayer’s example.  Which is something that Faith is convinced never happens.  But it does: when Faith isn’t there to see it.)

And after their fight in Revelations, we see Buffy admitting to Xander and Willow that she worries about Faith and wants to include her in the group more:

Xander: "How come Faith was a no show?"

Buffy: "Couldn't reach her ... again.  She hasn't been hanging out much."

Xander: "I detect worry."

Buffy; "A little bit.  Slaying's a rough gig."

-- S3E09 | The Wish

After Finch dies, Buffy is the one to tell Angel that Faith wants to be helped, and urge him not to give up on her:

Buffy: "How's she doing? ... You'll keep trying, right? ... I'll just go to Faith's and I'll get some of her stuff.  That way she'll see that we're on her side."

Angel: "Look, I don't want to get your hopes up, Buffy.  She may not want us to help her."

Buffy: "She does.  She just doesn't know how to say it."

-- S3E15 | Consequences

And at the end of the same episode, Buffy is again the one to persuade Giles that Faith’s actions in saving her from Trick show she deserves a chance at rehabilitation:

Buffy: "She could have left me there to die, Giles, but she didn't. ... I'm not gonna give up on her."

-- S3E15 | Consequences

And in the following episode, we see Buffy defend Faith to Willow and again talk about how similar they are.

Buffy: "[Faith] had it rough.  Different circumstances, that could be me."

-- S3E16 | Doppelgangland

And a couple of episodes later, when Buffy's attempting to talk herself out of the fear that Angel might be cheating on her with Faith, it's Faith who she tells herself wouldn't betray her, not the vampire she's actually dating.

Buffy: I went to Angel's last night and Faith was there.  They looked sort of intimate.

Willow: No way.  I know what you're thinking and no way.

Buffy:  You're right.  Faith would never do that.

-- S3E17 | Enemies

Even later on in the same episode, when Faith's actual collusion with the Mayor is revealed, Buffy's first reaction is to make excuses for her and then to implore her to listen to her:

Buffy: You don't know what you're doing ... Faith, listen to me ... I never knew you had so much rage in you.

-- S3E17 | Enemies

It's only after all of that that Buffy seems prepared to give up on Faith, and only in Graduation Day when Angel's life is on the line that she's actually willing to hurt her (earlier, in Choices, she’s still talking about ‘capturing’ Faith).  And when she does stab Faith, and Faith falls from the roof, seemingly to her death, it’s obvious from her reaction that Buffy immediately regrets this.  Even if she didn’t think she had any other choice, it isn’t how she wanted things to happen.

So honestly it kind of baffles me when I see people agreeing with the take that Buffy’s focus on how Faith might be feeling, when she hears that she’s woken up in This Year’s Girl, and her apparent hope that Faith might regret her past actions and want to change, is somehow something new.  That it isn’t perfectly in keeping with how Buffy’s always felt about Faith.  Or even that the idea of being willing to give people a second chance is something Buffy had to learn from Angel.

Because no, sorry, that's just totally backwards: Angel himself learned all that from Buffy.  

(Also, just logistically ... how would Buffy have learned anything from Angel at this point in Season 4 that she didn't already know back in Season 3, when – from her point of view, at least – she's barely spoken to him since he broke up with her and left town last season?)

Not just in regards to Faith, either, but the whole idea of needing to keep fighting for people and not give up on them, and how you have to keep doing that every day? Angel's whole mission statement (both the character and the show)? That's literally all taken from a speech Buffy gives Angel in Amends.  The show is very clear on this: it's Buffy who teaches Angel to be a better person, not the other way around.

[firelxdykatara]

Gun to your head, do you ultimately prefer Buffy or Elena?

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME NORA IT ISN'T FAIR JUST PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER- /hj

gods, ok, if i absolutely 100% had to choose... probably buffy.

both buffy and elena are SO important to me (there's a reason i imprint so heavily on female protagonists who go through extreme trauma and have extensive on-screen depression arcs but ahhhhh let's not unpack THAT right now--but lana lang and emma swan also go in that category, it's basically the easiest way to sell me on a show but let's move ON -cough-) and both of them are treated so unfairly by the writers/showrunners AND by the fandom, but i think at the end of the day i'd have to pick buffy because, overall, btvs is just better, in about every single category.

i never really got the sense, while watching btvs, that the writers disdained me, specifically, for enjoying their show and loving buffy summers. she gets put through SO much shit, and i have so much criticism alongside the love in my heart for how her friends treat her, how her mother treats her, how the writing treats her at points... but ultimately, she's still the focal point of the show. she is the pin on which everything hangs, and without her, it all falls apart. the show cannot exist without buffy summers, and it never tries to.

i may loathe joss whedon on a very personal level these days, but i have to admit that at least he understood that he couldn't carry on the show without buffy summers. his intention may have been to end the show with her death, but once forced to extend it, he brought her back--and that lead to her arc in s6 which is incredibly important to me, and i'm not sure i'd still be here today without it.

(which, again, we can leave packed lmao)

while i love elena gilbert so fucking much i can't breathe sometimes with it (yes i'm dramatic but listen), a lot of that is in spite of the way the narrative clearly wanted me to feel. there is so much scorn and apathy baked into nina's final two seasons on the show, and the fact that it even continued after that point is an insult to the work she put in and the character she played who was the central load-bearing pillar of the entire series.

granted, i got the feeling that the writers and showrunners just quit caring about anything at all with respect to the show, not just about elena, so maybe i'm reading more malice into what was ultimately just a lack of care. it hardly matters, because the result is the same--the series tanked, the two seasons without the main character were terrible, and the show is treated with well-deserved scorn in a way that i don't think btvs ever will be, despite public opinion having long since turned against joss whedon (also deservedly).

but the point here is that while i'm absolutely willing to put in the work to keep loving elena in spite of what the show did with her and her relationships in her last two seasons, that's a whole lot of work i don't have to do for buffy. granted i will still put a lot of time and energy into picking apart things that did not land well--Dead Man's Party and Empty Places, Seeing Red, so much about the way buffy is treated in the final season by her loved ones, ongoing issues with racism and biphobia throughout the series, etc--but it's a bit like the energy i put into atla vs vld. one of them is, overall, an excellent piece of media that didn't always stick the landing but still survives as a cultural icon for a reason, and the other is almost universally derided because everything that had been of value to the narrative was destroyed in universe by its end.

so yeah, i guess, tl;dr: at the end of the day, i'd pick buffy--because she comes from the stronger show, her arc ultimately had a purpose i can still point to even if i don't always agree with the directions the narrative took it, and i don't feel the same sort of enduring bitterness when thinking about her that i do when thinking about the show elena came from that did her so poorly and then ran itself into the ground completely in her absence.

[perceives]

it’s just this meme with questions that seem redundant (on my blog) deleted.

SELF + HEALTH

what is their motto? [buffy summers vc] seize the moment, cause tomorrow you might be dead

would they rather lead or follow? she would rather mind her own business

what motivates them? being allowed to mind her own business

are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? it doesn’t matter. overall she’s most likely to start the fight and then get bored 

do they have any pet peeves? yeah that’s what james is for

what do they most regret? running over a cat while driving high. did you expect something sadder

what would they like to improve on? nothing. not because she’s above it, but because she is so type A that she is just constantly working that kind of thing into her routine

do they have any allergies or food intolerances? not physical intolerances. laura intolerances. she is a vegetarian who hates vegetables

PERSONALITY

their predominant emotion?

[gif of sarah in the return repeatedly saying ‘i don’t feel good’]

someone wrongs them. do they respond with revenge or forgiveness? neither, she’s going to be a huge bitch about it and then probably forget it happened

do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? like, both, but more the latter as she is always reconsidering everything

are they a glass half-full or a glass half-empty kind of person? she would tell you she’s a pessimist --- and she’d mean it --- but she wouldn’t be correct, i don’t think. laura is very much an idealist. everything happens for a reason and all that. the older she gets, the more realistic she gets, and obviously it’s important that she learn that she doesn’t deserve every bad thing that’s ever happened to her, but she still has a way of persisting when other people would just ... not. she isn’t particularly inclined toward misery; it just kind of stalks her. 

do they express themselves through words or deeds? deeds, in the way that’s implied. she’s certainly very CAPABLE of speaking her thoughts, it’s just likely to happen in writing if it’s anything actually personal. 

how often do they lie? not as often as one might think. she’s actually pretty good at avoiding it. ‘avoid’ being the key verb

do they listen to their head or their heart while making a decision? her head, more --- which is not to say her decisions are usually sensible, just that they follow a certain logic to HER. she is also very close with her emotions, but she tends to  repress them somewhat until she can hole away with her sad little book

THOUGHTS

their views on formal education vs self-education? we’re usually running on the assumption here that she dropped out of high school so i’d think that’s pretty evident tbh! laura’s just not really a friend to ‘formal’ anything

what are their thoughts on animals? better than people

how much do they care what people think about them? if she’s in twin pea/ks it’s honestly more that she cares what her mom hears people say about her, but it’s still a definite issue that Affects Her A Lot. like so goddamn much. if she is elsewhere she does not care. she literally just doesn’t want her mom to be ashamed of her lol [drowning guy emoji]

do they enjoy being the center of attention? why or why not? often --- she is an only child whose parents are performers. she craves validation! but she also wants it on her own terms and that is something she rarely gets. most of the Center of Attention-ness within The Narrative is not ... desirable attention. 

which do they value more: creativity or practicality? practicality, but she is very creative and that’s very significant to her

thoughts on material possessions? she’s very sentimental about things that are, well, sentimental. but otherwise she could take or leave pretty much everything (and often will)

would they rather win an argument or avoid conflict? she will START an argument just to CAUSE conflict if you catch her in the wrong mood

views on people in general? wary, but hopeful

what qualities do they admire in other people? kindness, curiosity, passion, diligence. not being a straight white man

how do they feel about fun? it’s fun. she likes fun. she has as much of it as possible

thoughts on privacy? (are they private or are they “tmi”?) she’s whatever the extreme other pole is to tmi. not dishonest, really --- if you ask the right questions (and it seems safe), you can find out pretty much anything --- but she most likely is not going to offer shit

thoughts on superstitions or the occult? (do they believe, not believe, etc.) both of her parents are literally possessed by demons and it is making her life really hard, okay

what are their religious views? she’s a member of the episcopal church. so. catholic basically. 

THE PAST

how would they describe their family? soooo normal :-)

what was their childhood like? that actually was really normal. borderline idyllic. the only thing about her very early life that you’d probably think is sad was that she didn’t, like, Go Anywhere before she started school --- she was always with her mom, who is agoraphobic. but it largely kind of suited her? and also probably made her more annoying instead of more withdrawn. so, you know. there’s always some, um, background bullshit going on, but she isn’t aware of it or actively harmed by it for quite some time

what did they want to be when they grew up? a teacher, probably. or professional horse girl. 

as a child, what were they most likely to be found doing? doing horse girl things. or boy scout things -- kid knows everything about the woods she grew up in. 

the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to them. she’s very good at laughing at herself, so she normally beats everyone to it and just kind of bypasses the emotion. she therefore gives the impression that she can Take A Joke. but if YOU laugh at her, she will not get embarrassed OR join you. she will just get soooo disproportionately furious. 

the best thing that has ever happened to them. her dad committing suicide :-)

which memory stands out most clearly? who even can afford to keep their memories inside their head in this economy ...

THE FUTURE

do they believe in happy endings? yeah, basically, she just doesn’t believe in them for HER

are they afraid of dying? why or why not? she is (convinced she will go to hell) but she can obviously think of worse things than being murdered, so. it’s complex

TOUGH STUFF

do they have any phobias? - cleithrophobia [confinement] And Related Issues (for example, i wouldn’t say she suffers from merinthophobia [restraint] as things like seatbelts don’t bug her, and it’s not a fear that would be aroused for no reason).  - arguably somnophobia [sleep] but it’s so rational in laura’s case that it’s difficult to judge whether it’s A Phobia or just self-preservation to put it off as long as possible

what kind of person are they? she’s a good kid tbh. volatile and generally hard to get along with in a lot of circumstances, but she is very very concerned with the wellbeing of others and will go out of her way to help literally anybody. she’s easy to dislike but very difficult to hate

would they let someone take the blame for something they did? no. she maintains her self-loathing like a little plant

what are they insecure about? her only real complex is about her sexuality / sexual experience

what is one way to earn their trust? believe her lol (it’s pretty impossible to do --- to even get her to where she would feel able to confide in you)

one thing they would hate anyone to know about them. haha well it doesn’t much matter anymore

they have to pick one: to be loved, to be feared, or to be admired. to be loved

have they ever been bullied or teased? outside of like, actual abuse, not really. she’s just some guy. and if she had been, i highly doubt it would have persisted, because she is not nearly afraid enough of anything and it would have been a) a regrettable action or b) completely uninteresting bc she just ignored you

FUN STUFF

what are they confident about? she’s an only child. i just TOLD you she hasn’t been bullied enough (which is to say, most everything, within reason)

talk about their moral alignment. she’s a pretty straightforward Neutral Good, i don’t really have anything to add

describe their aesthetic. she is probably dressed like an american girl doll describe them in three words. uh. headstrong. paranoid. loving (i could say empathetic, which is definitely her Defining Trait, but it’s not a universally positive one, and i don’t think her compassion is entirely born of it)

what makes them feel safe? i am not even sure that’s possible :-(

favorite color and the reason for it. i doubt she has one, or her room would look a lot less like the rest of her house (i.e. she would not have let her mom so obviously decorate it). she seems to wear mostly earth tones, though. for the straightforward reason that she would rather be in the woods than anywhere else

favorite book genre? memoir / poetry. she does not really indulge a ton of fiction

favorite movie genre? i don’t know but i can tell you with absolute certainty that she and bobby saw ‘stand by me’ in theaters together and cried their fucking eyes out. which is really quite a read

do they have a role model? not outside of like. historical religious figures