#bucky x sad reader

[lokiswifeduh]

Long Night

Pairings - Roommate!tfatws!Bucky x Fem!Roommate!Reader

Summary - You've been stood up twice in a row now. Bucky is tired of seeing you disappointed. So he takes you on a date.

Warnings - angst, being stood up, angry/annoyed bucky

Notes - I'm horrible at summaries, I know!! This happened to me a couple days ago, wishing I had a Bucky to take me on a date in Brooklyn right about now! Not proofread so lmk if there are any mistakes! Thank you for reading loves!!

WC - 1,750

masterlist

"Whatcha gettin' ready for, doll?" Bucky leaned on your bedroom doorframe, watching you straighten your hair in the mirror on top of your dresser.

"I have a date." You smiled, not noticing the slight drop in Bucky's smile.

"Oh, with anyone I know?"

You shook your head. "His name's Nash. Someone Sam set me up with," You explained. "He's supposed to pick me up in twenty minutes."

Bucky internally rolled his eyes. The guys Sam hung around with were nice, yes. However, he never got the guts to take you out on the date you deserved. A date with him.

"Are you sure you want him picking you up?" Bucky asked, making you look back in confusion. "I mean you don't know him that well... You could meet him there or uh, I'll drop you off." You let out a small laugh, "Yeah Buck, I'll just have my male roommate drop me off at a date, that'll go over well."

Bucky shrugged. He walked away from your bedroom to grab a beer from the fridge before sitting on the couch. He turned on whatever channel didn't require him to use the remote too much before slouching into the cushions.

Twenty minutes passed by when you slipped out of your bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

"Wow, doll. You.." Bucky's eyes widened slightly, "You look great."

You grinned, looking down at your outfit. It was basic but it was the most comfortable yet fashionable outfit you had. Black flared leggings with a sage green sweater and some white sneakers. It was simple yet appropriate for a late-night-diner date.

And to top it all off your makeup had cooperated for once. Both eyebrows looked like twins and not sisters. Your highlight was perfect, shimmering, but not too much. And you had the perfect lipgloss that made your lips look sunkissed. Perfect.

"He should be here any minute!" You sprayed some perfume, your favorite vanilla scent, and went to sit in the armchair across from the couch.

Bucky hummed, keeping his eyes on the Tv, taking another sip of beer.

However, twenty more minutes went by and Nash hadn't texted you, hadn't called, and hadn't shown up. Bucky was starting to feel bad and you could tell by the pity looks he kept throwing your way.

"He uhm," Bucky cleared his throat, "Maybe he hit traffic. You know, with it being New York and everything." You nodded, trying to hold onto at least a small bit of hope. "Yeah, traffic." But then another forty minutes went by and he still hadn't even texted.

And then another hour.

And another hour.

By the time Bucky finally turned off the Tv it was three and a half hours since the time Nash was supposed to come pick you up.

You were still sitting in the armchair, having dozed off with a couple tears streaked down your face. Ruining your once-perfect makeup.

Bucky sighed, silently cursing Sam even though he knew it wasn't his fault.

"Alright, doll," Bucky whispered, placing his metal arm behind your back, and lifting your legs with his right. You groaned awake, holding your phone in your palm as you wiped your cheek. "What time is it?" Your eyes shoot open, "Did he show up?" Bucky placed you in your bed, handing you one of his t-shirts you had stolen a while ago. "No, doll. I'm sorry." You stripped your shirt off to change as Bucky went into your bathroom, grabbing a couple of makeup wipes.

"Here." He softly spoke, hating your distraught and disappointed expression.

You wiped your makeup off, shedding a couple more tears in the process. The tears dripped from your cheek to the grey henley Bucky had given you. "It's okay. Maybe he was just busy." Bucky wanted to roll his eyes. He wanted to tell you that any respectful man, any gentleman wouldn't have done what Nash did to you. But he kept his mouth shut, opting to hum in your favor, and threw the makeup wipes in the trash when your face was completely bare.

"Goodnight, Doll." He placed a kiss on the crown of your head as you hummed in response. "Goodnight, Buck."

---

A couple days later, you finally got a text back from Nash.

"Bucky I was right!!" You came sliding into the kitchen, your socks making it easy to ice-skate on the smooth wood floor.

Bucky chuckled at your ability to skid so gracefully without falling. He had tried it once but vowed to never do it again after he slid into the dining room table. You would never let him live it down.

"Right about what, doll?" Bucky flipped the pancake, adding some vanilla to the dough.

"About Nash! He actually was busy!" Bucky quirked an eyebrow. Wondering why he had waited this long to text you back. Six days to be exact. "Did he say with what?" Bucky turned back to making breakfast.

"He said he got busy with work, and that something at work pissed him off so he didn't wanna see me while he was upset." You explained what Nash had told you.

Bucky had never wanted to hit someone in the face so hard.

Well, actually that wasn't true. But he did want to sock Nash in the face for standing you up and giving you a half-ass excuse days later.

"I mean that explains things, yeah..." Your brows furrowed at Bucky's flat tone. "Do you not believe it?" Bucky sighed, pulling the milk and eggs from the fridge as you sat on the countertop. "It's not that I don't believe it, it's just that it kinda seems like he forgot and or didn't wanna see you so he made up an excuse a little less than a week later to not seem like a dick." You nodded, taking in the information. Bucky couldn't sense your reaction quite yet, seeing how you were just staring at the ground with your hands in your lap, swinging your legs in the air.

"I mean, I'm seeing him tonight. If everything goes well after then I'll know it really was true."

"You're seeing him again?" You nod, "But this time I'm meeting him at the fourth corner Bakery. And I'm meeting him earlier this time, around noon."

Bucky looked over at the clock, seeing it was already 10:45. "Well you better go get ready," He said almost reluctantly, "Breakfast will be done before you need to leave."

You smiled, hopping off the countertop as you gave Bucky a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Buck. You're the best!"

He smiled, but then remembered he's only making you breakfast before you go on a date with a guy who's already stood you up once. Rolling his eyes, he scrambled the eyes, listening to your music in the other room.

---

You had already left for your date three hours ago when Bucky decided to go over to see Sam. His excuse was wanting to discuss the next mission they were due to go on in a week. But he just didn't want to sit at home all day, thinking about how you were on a date with another guy.

However, before he could reach Sam's he had to pass by the bakery where you were meeting Nash.

Yet when he looked through the window, there you were, sitting all alone at a table for two, eating a piece of cheesecake. No Nash in sight.

An internal war started in Bucky's mind. Should he go in and see if you were okay? Or should he believe Nash was in the bathroom and you were just sitting by yourself for a minute or two?

But then he noticed the solemn look on your face. The way your fork poked at the half-eaten cake. And that was your favorite kind. Bucky mumbled a soft curse, opening the door to the bakery and making his way over to you.

Without words, he sat down, his gloved hand resting on the table in front of your plate. You kept your head down, not quite looking at Bucky but knowing he was there.

"He didn't show, again." You mumbled. If Bucky didn't have super soldier hearing he doubted he could've heard what you had said.

"I know, doll. I'm sorry." You finally looked up, tears in your eyes which made Bucky's heart clench. "Why me, Buck? Why am I the one who's alone?" Bucky stayed silent, knowing you needed to vent.

"Am I unlovable? Is that what it is? Why does every single one of my friends get to find the one? Get to fall in love, get married, and have kids and I'm the one without someone?!" Your outburst made some other customers look over in concern.

You groaned, resting your head on your hand and hiding your face from the rest of the bakery. "I- uh, I'm not sure, doll. But I know one thing.. you're not unlovable. You just haven't found the one who wants to take the effort to show you how effortless you are to love."

You looked up at Bucky, fresh tears gleaming in your eyes. You had never seen him look so vulnerable before. He usually grumped his way through emotions. But not with you, not anymore.

He gave you a sad smile, clearing his throat before he stood, "Y'know what, doll. Let's go." He held out his hand. You looked around, "Where are we going?" Bucky took your palm in his gloved hand, "It's a surprise." You laughed, before standing and throwing the rest of your soggy cheesecake away. "You know how I feel about surprises." "Okay, I'll give you a hint." Bucky opened the door for you, making sure to walk on the side of the road with the bustling cars and traffic. Bucky called a taxi, opening the door for you. "You're about to have the best date of your life." You stared at him in awe before laughing and climbing in the taxi. Bucky's knees barely fit as he scooted in next to you. The driver asked where to go as Bucky licked his lips, "Brooklyn, please." You smiled, "Brooklyn?"

Bucky nodded, throwing an arm around your shoulder. "I may be old but I still know some good spots to take my best girl on a date." A blush rose to your cheeks as you looked over to him. "Your best girl?" Bucky nodded, picking up your hand with his metal one before leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles. "Always and forever, doll."

---

masterlist

[wintersoldiersoul]

Tolerate It

A/N: I think I might make a part 2 to this... if you guys would want that lmk!

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Bucky shuts you out. (Based on Tolerate It by Taylor Swift)

Warnings: sad, Bucky is kind of an ass, angst,

It started a few months ago when a mission went wrong. You watched helplessly as the Winter Soldier trigger words were spoken in Bucky’s ear. You screamed and cried, begging and hoping that the deprogramming he had gone through had really stuck. You saw him shift for only a minute before he regained control. But you saw it. That cold emptiness in his eyes was terrifying.

You tried to comfort him as best you could afterwards. You cooked him all of his favorite meals, decorating the table with flowers and the nicest plates you owned, hoping that maybe it would bring just a tiny bit of excitement back to his life. You tried to make everything as easy as possible for him, washing every single dish in the sink, doing his laundry, you just wanted him to focus on feeling better.  But the things that happened on that mission had shaken him and it wasn’t something that your affection could fix.

Every time though, he would notice the meal on the table and walk right by you without even saying a word. He saw his laundry, clean and folded in the drawers, and would only respond by giving you an empty look. You knew he was going through a hard time but eventually, you started to believe that it was your fault. He didn’t love you anymore. He just tolerated you.

You gave him space, hoping and praying that eventually he’d be okay. That the light inside of him would turn back on and he would go back to the man you had given your heart to. But life doesn't work like that.

Nothing had returned to normal, even now. Bucky was functioning again, going on missions, hanging out with Steve and Sam, but with you, he was different. Gone was the loving man who would tear down buildings for you. You barely even saw him. He’d leave in the morning before you were awake and come back long after you went to sleep, stumbling in drunk and passing out on the couch. The two of you hadn’t exchanged more than a few words a day for months. And it was breaking you apart.

You couldn’t take it anymore. Being in this limbo where you were his yet you weren’t. Part of you wished he’d just break up with you so that you could try to move on. You’d never have the heart to leave him. 

It was 3am. You were wide awake and based on the sound of the TV out in the living room, you knew he was, too. You got out of bed and wrapped your blanket around yourself before making your way out to the living room. Bucky was seated on the couch, eyes on the TV screen but not really watching it.

You tentatively sat down, waiting for his mouth to open to tell you to go away. “Buck,” you said quietly, reaching your hand out to take his. He flinched when he felt your flesh graze his, quickly pulling away. “Bucky, please,” you pleaded. You wanted to hug him so badly. You needed to feel him and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. 

But he didn’t respond to you. He just continued to stare ahead. You sat with him for a while, just relieved that he wasn’t telling you to leave. That counted for something, right? 

“You should get some sleep,” he eventually said. He didn’t actually care about how much sleep you got. He just wanted you to go away.

Wordlessly, you got up and left, crying yourself to sleep alone once again. You couldn’t help but blame yourself. Bucky could talk to Steve and Sam and all of the other Avengers but he didn’t wanna talk to you. You were too overbearing. You talked too much. You were too young for him. Never smart enough. You’d never make him happy. But you couldn’t let him go. 

The next day, Bucky was working in his office, the door shut and locked. You knocked softly, afraid to disturb him, but you couldn’t do this anymore. You constantly felt like you were drowning, unable to get a full breath of air in. “Bucky? P-please, can you let me in?”

You heard a sigh and footsteps as he approached, opening the door. He looked at you, eyes full of that same coldness that you had grown accustomed to. “What?”

You took a deep breath and tried to steady your shaking hands. You missed how things used to be when at the slightest sign of your anxiety he would scoop you into his arms, hugging you tight and telling you that everything would be okay. But now, he stared at your trembling body and did nothing. “I-I can’t keep doing this anymore. I need you to let me in. I need you to talk to me.” Tears fell from your eyes as soon as you started speaking. You really didn’t wanna cry but you couldn’t help it. Every time he looked at you with that empty stare, you felt like your whole body was ripping into a thousand pieces.

“I don’t wanna talk to you,” he said, emotionless.

“Did I do something? I- I just-”

“Y/N, just stop it, okay? I said I don’t wanna talk to you!” He yelled. 

You were taken aback. Half of you was expecting him to hug you, telling you how sorry he was for yelling. But he didn’t. He just stood, chest heaving and anger on his face. “You don’t mean that,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Yes, I do. I don’t wanna talk to you and I don’t wanna see you,” he answered before slamming the door in your face. 

And you broke. You slid down the wall, unable to keep yourself up any longer. You knew for a fact that he could hear your sobs from the other side of the door but he didn’t come to comfort you. This man, the man that you loved, the man who you thought loved you, was letting you cry alone. Was letting you cry because of him. And he didn’t even care.

Eventually, you picked yourself up and made your way to your room. You crawled into his side of the bed, trying to take in the faint remnants of his comforting scent. You sobbed for hours until you fell asleep.

 You were awoken by the rustling of clothes. “Bucky?” you said groggily, seeing the outline of his figure moving through the room.

“I’m going to Steve’s. I’ll come get the rest of my stuff later this week.” Each word punctured a hole in your chest. Why couldn’t you have just been enough?

“Bucky, please don’t do this,” you whispered, fighting your hardest to not cry again. But even if you did, he wouldn’t care, “Please, just talk to me.”

“Y/N, stop it.” His words were so robotic. “Just stop it. It’s done. We’re done.”

You wanted to hole up in your bed forever. You wanted to sleep away the pain and wake up years later when maybe the ache of him missing in your chest had shrunk. But you couldn’t. Because you were a superhero. And people’s lives didn’t stop needing saving because you felt like you were dying.

So you pulled yourself out of bed. Forced yourself to head to the tower a week later when Steve called for an emergency meeting. You hadn’t slept or eaten, weight loss and dark circles giving you the illusion of a zombie. You didn’t have the energy to put on real clothes. You stayed in what had become your uniform: sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

As if the world was playing a cruel joke on you, the second you got off the elevator, you were face to face with Bucky. You swallowed hard, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he didn’t. He just looked at you, taking in how unwell you looked. How even in the week since he’d been gone, your frame had shrunk. He saw it. He noticed it. He just didn’t care.

“Why don’t we go undercover?” You suggested as a strategy for the mission that Steve was briefing you all for.

Bucky scoffed at your comment. “That’s like asking to get killed. God, do you ever use your brain?”

His comment hit you hard. But instead of only the blinding pain you had been feeling since he left, you also felt angry. How could this man who claimed to love you for so long speak to you that way?

You glared up at him. Even if you did die on this mission, would he even care? “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

 Steve shot you a look. “Y/N, come on. Not now.”

“What, Steve? I’m just saying what he’s thinking!” You were almost laughing as you spoke, the emotions of the situation becoming too much to handle. 

Bucky stood up from his seat. “I can’t do this. Steve, just fill me in later.” He slammed the door as he left.

The meeting ended but you couldn’t find the strength to move. You just sat in your chair staring mindlessly at the ground. 

“Y/N,” Steve said, calmly approaching you. “I know going through a break-up is hard.”

Is that really all that he thought this was? Just a break-up? Sure, you were experiencing the gut-wrenching heartbreak of no longer being Bucky’s girlfriend but you were also filled with so much self-loathing. You felt completely unlovable. You genuinely thought that if you disappeared from the face of the earth, not a single person would miss you. 

“Steve, what did Bucky tell you?” You asked. You knew Steve well enough to know that he wouldn’t dismiss the way you felt if he knew everything that was really going on.

“What do you mean? He told me what happened. He said you guys got into a fight and you ended it.” 

His words shocked you. Bucky was trying to blame you? He didn’t even give a fuck about what everyone else thought of you and your character? You couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that what he fucking told you? That I ended it? That we broke up in one night after one fight?”

Steve stared at you, confused. He didn’t know that there was a whole other side to the story. Your side. The truth. “Y/N, is that not what happened?” 

“No, that’s not what fucking happened, Steve!” You were losing it, both crying and laughing at the same time. “He hasn’t talked to me for months! Not since that mission where they used the trigger words. He doesn’t look at me, doesn’t speak to me… he was sleeping on the couch! I gave him his space. And when I tried to talk to him again, he left. He fucking left. So no, Steve, that is not what happened.”

He stared in your direction and you thought he was looking at you but really, he was looking at the door where Bucky stood. “Thought you could fill me in on what I missed,” he said, not even looking at you or acknowledging what he had just overheard.

Steve was speechless for a second, not knowing what to do. “Um, yeah,” he finally spoke. “Let’s go.” Him and Bucky left the room leaving you once again, alone.

You cried alone in the boardroom for a while. As you were leaving the tower, you heard voices from down the hallway, yelling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Captain America’s frustrated voice echoed down the hall to your ears. “She did nothing wrong, Buck. Why would you do that to her?”

“Steve, you don’t understand, okay?” Bucky responded. His voice sounded like…no. It couldn’t be possible. He couldn’t be crying.

“Then make me understand! Did you see her? Did you see how broken she looked? Do you not even care? I don’t get it, Buck. A week before that mission you were browsing engagement rings. And then you just…” he sighed. “Bucky that girl loves you more than anyone ever will.” 

“I know, Steve,” Bucky said sternly. 

“She would do anything for you. She would-” 

“Steve, I said I know!” Bucky’s voice rang out. Your heart raced as you listened. “I know she would. And I would do the same for her. That’s why-” his voice broke. “That’s why I had to do this.”

Your head was spinning. He had abandoned you, froze you out, made you feel like absolute shit because he loved you? 

There was a minute of silence before Bucky continued speaking. “What if I hurt her, Steve?” His voice sounded so soft. It was a tone you hadn’t heard from him in months. It made your heart ache. “The trigger words…they worked, you know. Only for a minute but…they worked.”

“That’s why you did this?” You said, stepping out from your hiding place and making your presence known.

Bucky’s face went white as he saw you. He wanted nothing more than to run to you, to take you in his arms. It was all he had wanted for months but he couldn’t do it. He had to protect you from himself. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he said, his tone still soft.

“Too fucking bad, Bucky. I did hear it,” you retorted. 

“I’m gonna give you guys some privacy…” Steve said, walking out of the room and leaving you alone with the man who had ripped your heart to shreds over the past few months.

“Y/N, I had to protect you,” Bucky said. 

You scoffed. You didn’t know how to feel in this moment. You were devastated by the way you had been treated. You were angry at him for putting you through this. But you also just wanted him back. Your Bucky. The way he was speaking to you, looking at you, it reminded you of before everything had been blown to bits. “I don’t need your protection. But I did need you! Bucky, do you know how horrible you made me feel? I felt like you never loved me! That I would never be good enough! I felt like a placeholder until you found someone better! You did that. You did this to me.”

Tears fell from his eyes as he listened. “When they used those trigger words…I wanted to kill you. The Winter Soldier wanted to kill you. Do you understand that? I wasn’t in control. I didn’t know that it was you, the love of my life, standing in front of me. All I knew was that you were a mission. And I wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you.” 

“So you decided to treat me like fucking garbage? Bucky, do you know how many nights I spent alone in our bed, crying myself to sleep because my boyfriend made me feel worthless?”

“I know, I know,” he wiped his tears. “I heard you every time. And God, Y/N, it broke my heart. I was crying with you. I wanted nothing more than to get into bed and wrap my arms around you.”

“So why didn’t you?” You said, hot tears streaming down your cheeks now.

“I thought that you’d eventually realize I wasn’t good enough for you. I was waiting for you to end it. To give up on me like so many other people have. But you never did and I-I couldn’t keep living every second terrified that I would hurt you.”

You shook your head. “I would never give up on you. I was never going to give up on you.” 

“Please forgive me. I miss you so much, I don’t know what to do. I fucked it all up.” 

You were at a crossroads. You wanted so badly to forgive him. To say that you understood. And part of you did, but you also couldn’t forget the way he had made you feel for so long. So isolated and lonely. 

“I need some time, Bucky,” you said before walking out of the room, leaving the love of your life crying on the sofa.

[imtryingbuck]

Happy Ending?

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader, Future Bucky x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader dates Steve but he’s not a good boyfriend

Word count: 967

Warnings: Angst. Steve not being a good boyfriend, low self-esteem, no smut but smut? Idk I’m sorry. Self-body hating – plus size reader.

A/n: pt 2&3 will be on Bucky’s masterlist

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

You see the love of your life kissing Natasha. Then in the car she jokes about it being his first kiss in 70 years, he doesn’t correct her of course he doesn’t otherwise he’ll have to tell her he’s dating you. For the past 6 months. He tells you that it meant nothing and that they had to do it so they didn’t blow their cover. He takes you to bed has you on all fours and as he’s nearing his release, he says Natasha. You cry and he doesn’t notice.

You’re sitting in the backseat of the car next to Bucky Barnes, having to see the love of your life kissing the next best thing he’s going to get to Peggy Carter, her niece Sharon. You can’t say anything though as nobody knows you two are dating, still. He tells you it’s for your own safety but you know it’s not for that reason. You know he’s embarrassed of you, you’re not skinny. You’re fat. Overweight. Plus-size. However you want to put it you’re not skinny. You’re not perfect like Natasha or Sharon or any other woman he could have. He tells you he loves you in a whisper. He kisses you behind closed doors. Hell he doesn’t even touch you in-front of anyone. Yet you stay with him because you love him. 

Later that night he tells you he loves you and only you. You believe it. Your face gets pushed into the pillow, arse in the air and like last time as he’s about to get his release it’s not your name nor Natasha’s that slips past his pretty lips it’s Sharon’s. You cry, again.

You stay silent about the pain he keeps causing you because you are so afraid of being alone, so desperate to be loved by him or anybody for that matter. All you want is real love but you’re too scared to leave. The worst part is even Steve knows this. He knows how much you love him, and he knows himself that he could never love you, not really love you.

A few months goes by, and everything has calmed down so you decide to take him to meet your parents for the first time. He’s so nervous it’s actually cute. He meets your parents, brother and sister. Dinner goes by smoothly, Steve talks to your dad and brother about everything and anything whilst you’re in the kitchen talking to your mum and sister about how much of an amazing guy he is, how much you love him and how happy you are. Your mum tells you you’re absolutely glowing. The night comes to an end you’re sitting in the passenger seat eyes going from him to the stars in the sky, your happy for the first time in months. You both get home, and he tells you how incredible you are, says he wants to make love to you so you let him. Before you know it he flips you onto your hands and knees face being shoved into the fluffy pillows, your brains working overtime wondering which name is going to make its way out of his mouth. Your whole body is hurting because of how rough he’s being with you, your head hurts and your poor stupid heart is breaking all over again as he empties all his worth inside of you while the name he’s keep chanting like a prayer is that of your sister.

How you manage to do it is lost on you, but you push him off of you with what little strength you have left and make a beeline straight to the bathroom locking the door as quickly as you can, you stumble to the toilet in time to empty the contents out of your stomach. In the mist of being sick and crying you hear Steve pounding on the door pleading with you to let him in asking if he’s hurt you. Asking ‘what did I do wrong’ which is ironic as that’s the same question you’ve repeatedly asked yourself. You hug the toilet trying to get some kind of warmth from it.

But it doesn’t happen.

You fall asleep naked, face covered in tears on the cold bathroom floor. Steve falls asleep on the bedroom floor against the door.

The next morning you wake up sore with Steve knocking on the door telling you he has to leave on an important mission that he loves you and when he gets back you both can talk about why you ran off hiding in the bathroom. You remain stuck to the floor long after he’s left. 

You know you can’t keep doing this, going through the pain, blaming yourself for not being good enough for him. ‘You need to stop being scared of being alone’ you told yourself and finally after nearly a year of crying yourself to sleep every night you pick yourself off the tiled flooring and with timid steps you head into the bedroom. As you pack all your stuff into suitcases and bags you thought you’d be crying whilst doing this but no tears have made an appearance, you’re completely numb and done with everything. Walking around the apartment taking your things as you go you head to the front door and like a naive silly girl you’re arguing with yourself to put your stuff back and just wait for the love of your life to come home. ‘He loves you idiot’ even though you know it not to be true and with that and your broken heart you take a look around visibly seeing the good times that took place within those four walls, you walk out of the door and into the cold December morning.

You thought he was going to be your happy ending.

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[gaysindistress]

Sad Girl Masterlist

Pairing: mob!bucky x reader

Status: complete as of 4/29

Summary: James has an interesting new business proposal and one hell of a condition to deal with.

Warnings: Mob Bucky because he is his own warning, verbal abuse (but not from our lover boy), angst, arranged marriage, blood/gore, death, fluff, forced marriage, guns, language, mentions of sex, murder, slow burn, smut, violence, weapons. Each chapter will have it’s own warnings as well and please read at your own risk!

18+ minors do not interact 

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

part 1 

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

part 8

part 9

part 10

part 11 nsfw

part 12

part 13

part 14 nsfw

part 15

part 16

part 17

part 18

part 19

The Barnes Family

[oneofstarkskids]

don't say that (part 3)

part 1 , part 2

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

genre: ANGST

summary: sad, beautiful, tragic by taylor swift

*not my gif*

you walked down the cold street with a note buried deep in your pocket. it held all the words you wanted to say, but didn't. you could only hope that it wasn't too late.

you knocked on the door softly, your heart racing. the locks clicked one by one from the other side until it finally swung open. "hi," you whispered.

the red-head looked down, she didn't know what to say to you. she preferred not to say anything at all.

"i know you probably don't ever want to see me again and so do with this what you will, but i had to get it off my chest." you handed her the slightly crumpled letter. you gave her a hopeful smile. one that simultaneously felt like a goodbye.

with that, you walked away. natasha didn't read the letter until you left and you didn't look back. maybe you would never know if she could forgive you, but you would wait.

you go back to your empty apartment. you would honestly rather be anywhere but here. as you look around, the memories those walls held seem to come to life right in front of you. you almost didn't notice the hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

the way you'd laugh as he spun you around or kissed on countertops. it felt tragic to think about. you often wondered...if things had begun differently, would you have had your happy ending?

it didn't seem to matter anymore. he was gone. you didn't even know where. maybe steve had mentioned him staying with him for a while, but it all felt like a blur. you didn't care where he was if he wasn't here with you.

you cursed yourself for thinking that way. this is for the best, you reminded yourself. but time was sure taking its sweet time erasing him.

your mind wandered back to that night. the night you freaked out on him. the night he left. your hand went up to your heart, trying to hold it together. he probably hated you now. natasha hated you. your friends would never see you the same. and you deserved all of it.

but just for a moment, you had it. the kind of love they say is like magic. the kind that makes your head spin. it really was just the two of you in your own world before that world fell apart.

he called you. just once. you answered, of course.

it ended in a fight.

"just come back home," you begged.

"you wanted space. i'm giving you space," he said harshly.

you rolled your eyes, "you're the one who called me."

"because i still fucking love you. not everyone can just fall out of love at the flip of a switch," he shouted on the other end.

you squeezed your eyes closed as your voice shook, "i never stopped loving you. i never said that."

he continued talking like your words meant nothing to him, "you didn't have to."

"oh my god! would you just try to listen for once!" you cried.

there was a long silence between the two of you.

you took a deep breath and mustered the strength to do what needed to be done. "goodbye, bucky."

he heard a final beep and clenched his jaw as tears pricked his eyes.

it was over.

but then again, how could something be gone if it was never his in the first place?

taglist:

@immyowndefender @ozwriterchick @vicmc624 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

[bamboobooshark]

BUCKY BARNES X READER

﹒⌗ ⚜️ ౨ ♰ ˚₊‧ HOLD ON : 2.5K WRDS

<RATING: PG-13, VIOLENCE, DEATH, SIMILAR CONTENT>

This is a lil smthn smthn for my pookie!! This is also my first time writing angst!! So prepare for this to be not so good as my fluff stuff (there is going to be a bit of fluff at the beginning though). !!WARNINGS: angst, character deaths (reader and character), crying, blood, guns, eventual suicide!!

Christmas time. You and Bucky always enjoyed it. The two of you loved the cold weather, the small lights that dimly lit the city at night, the soft layers of snow covering the ground, all of it was so gorgeous. The wind was hitting your faces causing both of your noses to get a bit drippy. Besides all the sniffles and full body shivers, you and Bucky were enjoying you winter night stroll. You held each other’s hands, fingers tightly intertwined to show your affection and to keep warm.

It isn’t long before you two are close to arriving at your apartment building. You can’t tell whether you or Bucky is more excited to cuddle and get cozy, but it doesn’t matter.

It won’t matter.

“Fuck,” Bucky mutters under his breath. He grips your hand tightly. His muscles tense so hard his arm begins to tremble. You shoot him a confused glare. Why is he so shaken? Is he worried? Why won’t he answer you?

You and Bucky thought Hydra was done with him. It had been years since he last had to deal with them. Neither of you would’ve expected to quickly be surrounded by several men; several Hydra workers. This isn’t how this night is supposed to end. You’re supposed to go to your flat and make hot cocoa and cuddle and tell each other how much you admire the other.

“Bucky? What’s going on,” you ask, your voice wavering. He finally looks to meet your eyes. They’re wide and glossy. He’s trying his damned hardest to not show it, but he’s just as terrified as you are. “I don’t know,” he says truthfully. “I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what they want. I don’t know why they’re here,” he rambles. He stands in front of you, gazing into your eyes deeply. “I need you to listen to me, darling. I love you. I always will. There’s never going to be a day where I forget you. I promise I’ll always remember you,” he assures you, now grasping both of your hands tightly and pressing them to his chest. You shake your head in confusion and disbelief. “Bucky, stop. You’re scaring me,” you plead as tears prick your eyes.

“This could go one of two ways, Barnes,” one of the men speaks. Bucky gives him a glare so hard it makes your breath pause for a few moments. He releases your hands and stands tall. You try desperately to grab his hand back, pawing at his fists pitifully. “Let me handle this,” he whispers to you sweetly. You nod in agreement. Though your body is trembling, you stay as still as you can. You feel lightheaded. Your legs feel like they might give out. You can feel the blood leaving your face, your body going cold like you’re dying.

“The easiest way to go about this is to have you step away from your sweetheart and come with us,” the same man says. His arms cross against his chest tightly before he exhales deeply. “But I know, we all know, that you don’t like things to be easy. You want things the hard way,” he says confidently. Bucky practically growls at the way the man speaks. He can feel what might happen next. He doesn’t even take a moment to look at you before he tugs you against his chest. God, his flesh is warm. So warm, so contrasting to the metal hand the presses against your back compared to the one that holds the back of your head protectively. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you take my baby. Not now. Not ever,” he states. His fingers grip onto you tightly like he’ll loose you if you barely slip out of his grasp.

“You’re proving me right,” the man chuckles. The six other Hydra employees surround you and Bucky from a distance. Guns point at you and him from every direction. A knot forms in your stomach. You know that whatever’s about to happen next is inevitable. No matter what either of you do, what either of you say, will save your life or Bucky’s. “I love you, Bucky,” you mutter against the crook of his neck. Hot tears roll down your cheeks while you attempt to hold back your ugly cries. “I know it. I love you too,” he whispers to you, kissing the side of your head.

“No! Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bucky yells, choking back tears.

It takes a moment before your body takes in what happened. Your ears ring from the sound of a gun going off. You feel the most intense, stinging pain in your side. Your hands move from your lover’s back to grip your abdomen. You can’t hold back to ugly cries. You begin to whine and wail, yelling Bucky’s name incoherently. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. Just give me a second, okay,” he assures as he falls to the ground with you. He holds you closely in his lap, climbing on top of you to protecting you. He does his best to cover your head and chest, that way you can’t be shot again without the Hydra employees shooting him as well. He struggles to shimmy his coat off before ripping a long strip of it off with his teeth, using his metal arm for some extra power. You cooperate the best you can, lifting your stomach and pressing against him so he can wrap the fabric around your waist. You groan loudly in pain as he fastens it as tight as he can. “Shh. I know it hurts, baby. I know. Bare with me, though. This will save your life,” he says as he presses his head to yours.

“I’m not going back to that hellhole,” he declares with nothing but determination in his voice. He’s not letting you die tonight. He’s not going back to Hydra. He’s not allowing himself to forget you. No fucking way. “Step away from them, Barnes. This is your last warning before we have to start using more force than necessary,” the leader says with feigned sincerity. He growls in responde while shaking his head no. He stays pressed to you, not giving any verbal response to the Hydra men. His tears drip down his cheeks and onto your clothes. You’ve never seen him give you such a pitiful, desperate, affectionate gaze. You’re hoping you’ll never have to see him like this again. He whispers how much he loves you, how he can’t wait until you get stitched up so he can hug you as tight as he physically can, that he’s so excited to see your reaction to what he got you for Christmas. You try your best to reciprocate, gritting your teeth and tensing while you speak. You feel like you can barely hold on despite the pressure of his torn coat slowly stopping the bleeding. It feels too late for miracles, for prayers, for anything to stop this.

“Can you hold on for me, sweetheart? Could you do that for me,” he asks tenderly, his warm hand coming down to caress your cheek. You lean into his touch lovingly. You can feel his pulse against your jaw. You can smell his hands; the usual scent of metal mixed with the soap you’d gotten him months ago for his birthday that he refuses to stop using. You nod in response, choking out a “yeah” for him. He smiles softly and nods in sync with you. “Thank you, baby,” he mumbles.

Nothing but a loud exclamation of “no” comes from your mouth.

Two of the men had used the vulnerable, moment to try and pull Bucky away from you. He resisted, kicking, punching, even biting the men to get them off. “I told you I’m not going back! Espically if you kill my damn spouse,” he barks angrily at them. The leader of the group approaches your entangled bodies.

You can feel Bucky’s chest press against you in an almost sedating manner. The way you can feel his heart against yours. His breaths coming out hard and heavy from his chest. The stuttering of his heartbeat from crying so hard. “I’m telling you to leave us alone. Forget about taking me back. Forget about ever shooting them. Just erase this whole thing from your mind and leave us alone,” he pleads with the man. “I’ll take them to the hospital, say it was a hit and run, we all go home, live a happy life, and pretend none of this ever happened,” he says as a demand rather than a deal.

The figure that stood above you two shook his head no while smiling sadistically. “I’m sorry, but that’s not how this works, James,” he chuckles, your partner’s names sounding like poison coming from his mouth. “You either resist and they die, or you come with us and they live,” he says. You look up at Bucky, biting the inside of your cheek. “Bucky, please. I don’t want you to have to go back. Let me,” you pause, struggling to say the next word. “Let me die,” you mutter through heavy sobs. For the first time in a while, Bucky acts aggressive towards you. “Darling there’s no day, time, or universe I’d let you die like this. You’re getting out of this alive,” he promises you. Your tears blur your vision, your boyfriend lovingly wipes them away with his thumb as he looks up at the male. “You’re not taking their life. There’s no way I’m letting any of you take their life away from them,” he states sternly.

“You’re funny,” the Hydra agent says before you both hear the cocking of a gun. Bucky immediately covers your head and heart with his body. You can’t hear anything but his breathing now. His breathing, his crying, his desperation apparent in the way he inhales and exhales. “If you shoot them, you’re shooting me,” he says before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you,” he tells you again. “I love you too,” you say, as a promise more than a statement to him, one more time.

For the last time.

Another stinging pain courses through you before things go black. Bucky pauses in disbelief, in denial that he left the slightest bit of your head uncovered. He yells out your name as loud as he physically can, tears and pain scratching his throat like a cat’s claws. He’s never letting himself down for this. He can’t. He never can. He sobs, crying himself dry until he’s sputtering and coughing dryly. “You’re sick,” he says quietly. “You’re all fucking sick,” he barks loudly as he holds your bleeding head to his chest.

It’s been weeks. The Hydra agents left Bucky alone to grieve with your death, deciding that would be worse than wiping his memory once more and letting him forget you. He hosted your funeral and now holds your ashes in a small charm of a necklace he doesn’t take off. His mechanical arm rusts with some of your blood still on it. He’s been struggling. Despite having a good support system and being surrounded by the people he cares about, he can’t stand not having the one he cares about most around; you.

He sits on the couch in your shared flat. His eyes glance over to your spot. Your blanket is still draped over the top of the couch the way it was when you two went out walking that dreaded night. Your favorite throw pillow lays on top of the cushion. He lets himself silently cry. He can hear your voice. He can see your smile. He can faintly smell your scent on the items you left behind. Fuck, it’s so hard without you. It’s insufferable. It’s quiet. It’s dull. Life feels more lonely than when he first had his memory wiped. His gaze falls on the Christmas tree. He eyes each of the ornaments. You two had been living together for almost four years and you’d trying to collect trinkets or actual ornaments for the tree. He smiles tenderly, each little item holding a loving moment between the two of you. He looks from the star on the top to the presents at the bottom.

With a pained groan, he lifts himself from the couch. He uses the dim lights from the tree’s lights and the cheesy Hallmark movie on the TV like a flashlight to find one specific present. The box isn’t the biggest, but it sure as hell is special. He unwraps the box and holds it in his hands. The red velvet in his hands doesn’t do anything but make him cry harder and smile bittersweetly.

He opens it to reveal or gorgeous engagement ring. The diamonds in the middle form a star, just like the one that was on his mechanical arm when you two first met. He unclasps the necklace that holds your ashes, slipping the ring onto the chain. He closes it back and grips the two small items in his hand so hard, his knuckles turn white.

“I miss you so bad. I’m so sorry you never got to see this ring. I’m sure you would’ve loved it. Maybe you would’ve thought it was stupid,” he says, talking to what remains of you. “I can’t stand not seeing you,” he sighs. He heads to your bedroom. He wipes some of the liquid that driped from his nose before smiling at your side of the bed. It was still neatly made like the way you left it. He loved the way you would make your side of the bed, and even fix up his side if he didn’t. He reached into his bedside table drawer to grab the lockbox stashed under files and random items. He unlocks it and picks up the revolver inside. He always kept it fully loaded in the case that someone broke in and possibly brought a whole team with them. He never thought he’d be using this thing for an emotional emergency rather than a physical threat. He grabs the sweater off the side of your bed that you wore to sleep the night before the walk. It still smelt like you, had your signature scent that he could always recognize. He wrapped it around his neck in a way that represented a hug from you. He grips the ashes and engagement ring once more, the revolver in the other hand. He lays on the ground and sighs peacefully. He’ll see you soon. He’ll be with you. He knows his headstone will look nice next to yours. He knows that flowers will bloom in the dirt near your graves, moss will cover the headstones, and the stones will age old together for you and Bucky since you two won’t get the chance to. “I love you, sweetheart,” he says before pressing a kiss to the charm holding your remains. He inhales deeply, then exhales for the last time in his life, your ashes and ring still gripped in his hand.

You two didn’t get the chance to grow old together. Your headstones will, though. That’s the beauty of it. That’s your proof that you’ll always love each other.

[cactus-cuddler]

Last sigh

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x death!reader

Word count: 879

Warnings: death, attempted suicide, killing

A very short and sad fanfiction because... yes.

Bucky was sitting on the hospital roof.

The air was crisp, and the sun was slowly sinking behind the horizon, painting the sky a deep orange. His metal hand gripped the edge of the roof, while his blue eyes stared at the empty space below. One step was all it would take.

One step, and it would all be over.

The noise of the city beneath him seemed distant, as if it belonged to a world that had nothing to do with him anymore. He had lost everything: friends, family, even his best friend, who had left him for another life. But the truth, the one that tormented him the most, was that he had never truly found himself again after being the Winter Soldier. He couldn’t think of himself without that dark part that haunted him.

“Coward,” he muttered softly. “You can’t even do this.”

He didn’t know if the fall would kill him. Maybe he would just end up in the hospital, forced to talk about his trauma. He already knew the reasons, and he had no interest in digging through his past with a shrink who would try to assign symbolic meanings to his pain. No, his father hadn’t beaten him, and his mother wasn’t a whore. But he... he had been a monster.

Bucky’s eyes drifted into memories. Suddenly, your face came to his mind, vivid, as if it were yesterday. It had been years since he had thought of you—your sweet smile, the warmth of your lips against his, the way your cheeks blushed every time you touched him.

“You…” he whispered, closing his eyes, desperately trying to remember your scent. But he couldn’t. And it tore him apart.

★

During the war, you two had met. You, a kind and gentle nurse, cared for the wounded soldiers. He, a young man full of hope and unfulfilled dreams, had ended up in your makeshift hospital bed.

“I’m not ready to die,” he had said to you once, looking into your eyes. “I’ve got too many things left to do. I want to fall in love one last time, feel my heart race like crazy… I want a family, kids, a normal life. A chance to be happy.”

Your hands trembled as you treated his wounds. Every word that left his lips made you fall for him more and more. And he knew it. You could tell from the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t watching.

“Leave the war,” you whispered to him one night, in a stolen moment between the screams of soldiers and the roar of bombs. “Run away with me. We’ll die anyway, but at least we’ll do it trying to really live.”

He smiled at you. He kissed you. But the next day, the Germans took him.

And you never saw him again.

★

The rooftop seemed to waver beneath him, as Bucky’s cheeks were soaked with tears. He hadn’t fallen in love again after you. He couldn’t.

“And you?” he said to himself, wiping away the tears. “What happened to you?”

He quickly climbed down from the roof, a sudden decision taking hold of him. Maybe there was still something he could do. Maybe knowing how your life had turned out would give him some kind of peace.

★

In the library, Bucky’s fingers tapped nervously, frantically on the keyboard. He typed your name, the same one he remembered like a melody that never left him.

He found an article. A punch to the gut.

“Missing during the war… no trace.”

He kept reading, rage building inside him. “Raped by the Germans while trying to save medical supplies. No soldier helped her.”

His fist slammed into the table with violence. Everyone in the library turned to look at him, but he saw no one. Only you. The pain, the anger, the despair... it burned inside him. Who could understand what it meant to lose everything? To lose you.

A woman approached him. “Are you alright?” she asked in a gentle voice.

Bucky looked up, his heart pounding in his chest. His tear-filled eyes saw her blurry, but something about her struck him. She looked like you. Too much.

“Do I know you?” he stammered, unable to tear his gaze away.

She smiled, stepping closer. “Bucky?”

His heart stopped. His trembling hand reached out to take yours, and the warmth of your touch overwhelmed him. “Tell me this isn’t a dream,” he begged, rising from the chair to wrap you in a tight, desperate embrace.

Suddenly, everything became white. It was just the two of you, suspended in a timeless void.

“You weren’t supposed to come to me like this,” you whispered, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. “Not before you found peace with yourself.”

Bucky froze, confused. Then he looked down. His body was still there, sitting at the desk, his head resting on the keyboard. A pool of blood was spreading across his back. Someone had shot him.

“I don’t care,” he said, locking eyes with you again. “I’m happy to be dead... if it means I get to be with you for eternity.”

Without waiting for an answer, he kissed you. And in that moment, all the pain, all the rage, melted into one single emotion: peace.

[fanfics-and-shlt]

Bucky x Reader

This is just short and really bad but it’s what happened to me the other day with my crush and I just wanted to get it done on paper…

Pairings: Bucky x reader

Warnings: none except a bit of heartbreak </3

(I feel like Sharon should be a warning even though she is only briefly mentioned)

Thank you for reading! Pls remember that liking, commenting, reposting, and following costs nothing but means the world to writers like me.

“Yeah we actually fell asleep on call last night”

“Aww that’s so cute, I could never do that though. I always get woken up by Bruce’s alarm”

Falling out of my dazed state at the sound of Natasha’s voice, I tuned into the conversation between her and Bucky

“I’m really happy for you guys by the way! You and Sharon look great together” Natasha says congratulating Bucky.

It takes a moment for me to realise what they were talking about.

“You’re dating Sharon?” I try to hid the quiver in my voice as I feel my entire soul crumble “that’s amazing, you guys would be so cute together”

Did I do it right? Did I sound sincere? What does it matter anyway? It’s not like he even really sees me.

[romanestuffsposts]

Sorry to bother you

Could you maybe write a drabble about mafia stucky and their little where one of them gets frustrated and tells her to go away while he works cause he has real work to do. And she gets sad "I have a degree to ya know? I could do real work"

And they don't realize how bad it hurt until they find out she's been looking for a job and have to sit down with her to explain everything?

If not, that's okay. Thank you!

Hi there love! You don't bother me at all 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you like how i turned it 💜

****

Warnings : upset little reader, sad little reader, busy daddies, you want to make your daddies proud and look for a job,

Pairing : Mafia!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : ⤴️⤴️

****

You're happy. Everything this day can give will make you happy. It's one of those days where you are in a good mood and you want to show it to your daddies. They're always happy to see that you're in a good mood. There's time where you are more grumpy than another day, as it can happen to everyone but when it happen, it's easy for no one.

Your Papa isn't here today, he is at the building dealing with some work while your Daddy works from his office. You were sad when you woke up to see that it was only your Daddy and you. Usually your Papa gives you a kiss before leaving even if you're sleeping. However this time, either he didn't kiss you or you just didn't felt it. In all case you weren't please at all.

But since then, your mood had got better and you wanted to tell your Daddy about it. And on top of that, you did math exercises all by yourself and you're proud of it! Just like your daddy will be. You quietly walk to the office of your Daddy, your paper in hands and your smile on your face

You know he is busy but he works hard and you want to change the frown who is surely on his face. You knock on his door and wait for his voice to tell you to come in

Bucky sighs. He didn't want to be disturb while he works. He never like being disturb while he works and everyone around him know it. So it better be an emergency

"Come in" he sighs. He lifts his head when he hears the door closing and nothing after. He expected an employee speaking but there's just silence

He quietly sighs when he sees you standing across the room. You shift on your feet as you wait for your Daddy to tell you to come to him. However, it won't happen.

"Not now, little one" he says before getting his eyes back on his work. You take a step forward "Loot Daddy" You say excited. You smile as you grab your paper with both of your hands

"Baby, I'm busy right now" He says more frustrated. His brain tries to concentrated on his folds infront of him but with your voice around it's impossible.

"But Daddy I did it" You say walking to his desk. You try to show him your work but he only groans and looks away "I said not now" He closes his eyes trying to concentrated on keeping his calm but when he opens them again he sees that you brought the paper just infront of his face

He snaps the paper off of your hands in a harsh movement making you flinch. Your eyes widen and you look up at him "What did I said ? I told you I was busy and i didn't had time to speak with you. I have work" He pauses to look for one second at your paper of exercices "I have real work to do" He finishes, breaking your heart. You gasp quietly and you can't help the tears who are forming in your eyes. He gives you the paper back but instead of taking it, you just stand there and watch with empty eyes your hard work

Bucky sighs and slams the paper on his desk. He grabs your arm harder than what he wanted and starts to drag you out the office. He turns you around once you're on the hallway and he finally lets go of your arm. You didn't made a noise. It hurt, so much. Your Daddy always forget his strengh with you when he is mad

He gives you one last glare before slamming the door to your face and get back to work

You don't want him to see your tears. You don’t want him to hear them. You don't want to see your exercices anymore either.

Bucky sighs and sats back down on his seat.

You run to your room and close the door behind you. You let yourself slipping more into little space than before after what he said and did. It's the only safe place you have right now

I have real work to do

That's not fair. You can do real work too. You have a degree and you are able to do it too. It's not hard, it's just work after all

-----------------------------------

Steve comes home with a big smile on his face. He's happy to get back to you and his husband. He is happy to come back and to be welcomed by a little running monster who will jump in his arms. Even if work was hard, he keeps his smile on, just for you. He opens the door of his warming and welcoming house. The end of the afternoon is tapping inside the house through the windows making it more comfy

He closes the door behind him and waits to hear the noise of your little feet on the ground. He quickly frowns when the only thing who is heard is the silence, as if the house was empty for a while now. He removes his shoes and hangs his jacket on the wall beside the other ones and starts now to walk inside the quiet house.

He goes first in the living room, maybe you felt asleep on it ? Bucky was probably too much in his work to keep an eye on you the whole time so you probably missed your nap time. He knows you aren't in the kitchen because if you were he would have heard you when he was in the living room.

He decides to go check on Bucky, maybe you're with him or he knows where you are. Knwoing you, you probably went beside him at one point so maybe you're still with him. He knocks on the door causing once again Bucky to sigh in annoyance

"yeah" he sighs pinching his nose. When Steve enters the office, he sees Bucky with his eyes close and his deep frown on his face. "Hi, Buck" Steve smiles walking to him

Bucky opens his eyes and gives his husband an exhausting smile "Hi" He turns his seat so Steve can stands between his legs. Steve grabs Bucky's cheeks with his hands and benches over to kiss his sweet lips "How was your day ?" Bucky asks resting his back against his seat "Better than what I expected" Steve nods with a small smile "Yours ?"

Bucky sighs "Worst than what I expected" Steve peers down at his husband with soft eyes "what happened ?"

"I had much more work than I expected and I was here all day. I didn't take a break at all and I'm exhausted" he sighs again looking around his desk

Steve follows Bucky's gaze and sees all the folds on the desk open. Steve's hand find its way on the side of the desk. He grabs a crumpled paper "what is it ?" he asks looking around the paper

Bucky breathes through his nose "She came while I was working to show me this" He says keeping the subject short knowing what he did.

Steve's eyes light up as he gazes the answers "those are really good. She gets better at it every time she tries to" he smiles proudly "I'm so proud of her" He mumbles to himself

Bucky feels more and more guilty as the second pass by. He had time to think about what he did while he was working. He had a hard time getting back to work, he still sees your face, your trembling lips, your teary and scared eyes. All of that will haunting him for a long time.

Steve looks down at Bucky and his smile disappears as he sees the expression of your Daddy. "Buck ?" he frowns lowering his arms "Buck, I can tell something happened. She isn't downstairs and she didn't came to greet me like she always does. I see it on your face too. Tell me what happened"

Bucky sighs looking up a Steve "I messed up, Steve. She came to tell me how proud she was of her work and she wanted me to praise her about it. She probably felt lonely too so she came and I yelled at her"

Steve nods "You know Buck, It happened that we yell at her, you know how she get when we raise our voice at her, she just need time but she probably already forget what happened" He says trying to reassure his lover

Bucky shakes his head "No, I didn't just raised my voice at her, Steve. I yelled at her" He clarify, trying to make it more clear to Steve "I scared her Steve" His voice shakes "You should've seen the look on her face, the way she was looking up at me. I never wanted to see that and now that it happened, I never want to feel that again"

Steve takes his husband’s hands in his ‘’you aren’t a bad guy, Bucky. She loves you and she’ll understand. You just have to apologise to her about what you did’’ Bucky nods, he kisses Steve's hands before standing up

He walks to the door of the office and open it "Buck" he turns around, lifting an eyebrow. Steve walks to Bucky with the paper "Take it with you" He says giving him the paper full of your answers.

Bucky thanks him and takes the paper from him. They both walk down the hallway to your door. Bucky grabs the paper hard, as if his anxiety can get out from the squeeze. Steve rests a reassuring hand on Bucky's back as he leads the way

Bucky stops walking infont of your bedroom door. He takes a breathe and peers down at the paper in his hands "it's gonna be okay, Buck. I can stay with you if you want to" Steve quietly says

Steve knows that Bucky is scared, he's scared that you're zfraid of him, he's scared he was too harsh with you, he's scared he hurt you in any way someone can get hurt

Bucky grabs the door handle and turns it slowly. When he walks inside, he sees you sit down against your bed, a phone in your hand and a paper in the other. "Baby ?"

You look up toward the door "What ?" You watch your daddies walking in the room and sitting beside you. Steve takes the paper from your hand and frowns "what is it, sweetness ?" He asks resting a hand on your thigh. You take the paper from him and move your leg away from his hand "Notin" you mumble as you look through the phone

Steve had time to see what it was. Your degree

"Baby, can we talk ?" Bucky asks looking down at you. You shake your head as your frown got deeper. Bucky sighs and looks up at Steve who nods at him. Bucky looks back down at you "baby, please. I just want to apologise" he says watching you

You shake your head again "I buty" You say. Steve looks up at Bucky who was already looking at him with pain in his eyes. He grabs his hand and squeeze it before nodding his head "Alright, sweetie. We'll call you when dinner is ready" Steve says. Before leaving, Bucky puts the paper you brought him beside you. He want to kiss your forehead so badly. He never leaves without kissing a part of your face.

It took him everything to just walk away

------------------------------------

'I goot news" You say after swallowing a bite of your food. Steve looks up at you with curious eyes "what is it, sweetie ?" Your Daddy never looked away from you the whole time, since you sat down on this chair until now.

You take a sip of your drink before continuing "I have a job" You say slowly to be sure to say all the words correctly. Steve frowns as he nods his head while Bucky's eyes widen "what ?" he says looking at Steve to see if he's as shocked as he is

"I have a job" You repeat with the exact same way "sweetie, Daddy heard you the first time but- baby what are you talking about ?" Steve says resting his fork beside his plate "Why did you looked for a job ?"

" 'cause I can do weal work too" You say gazing now your Daddy. He takes a breathe before sighing "Baby, i'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to-" you cut him off "is oki. I just want to pwove you I can work too"

"We know you can work. You're good at everything you do so we know you can be the best if you have a job but, you don't need one. You never asked for one, you never talked about getting a job so we just want to understand what made you want one so suddenly ?" Steve says as his eyes look around your face. Something is wrong, he can see it but he doesn't know what it is

You sigh and rest your back against your seat "I wanted job, i get one" You cross your arms and look down at your laps "why you don't happy fow me ?" you mumble. Bucky gets up from the table and kneels beside your chair "we are so proud of you, babydoll for getting this job on your own but we just want to understand. Is it-" he swallows "is it because of what i said ?"

Steve's head change from you to Bucky. His frown is forming on his face as he looks at Bucky who doesn't leave you "what did you said ?" Steve asks from across the table. You shake your head and press your lips together. Maybe if you squeeze them against each other they won't tremble ?

You close your eyes when a warm hand is resting on your thigh. This hand starts stroking your thigh as you let out a tear "is it because of this ?" your Daddy asks again but once again, you shake your head

"I know I hurt you, badly. Nothing I can say or do will make it better because it's deep in you now. I made a mistake and I had to have a better control over myself earlier and i'm so sorry for that" he says wiping away a tear "what you did was- I'm so proud of you, as is Papa. You had almost all the right answers and I had to see this when you came to show it to me. I had to be there for you. I'm here for you and always will be" he kisses your forehead

You open your eyes back "just wanted you be pwoud of me" you say with a shaky voice "I pwoud of me"

Bucky gives you a warm smile "as you should. You should be proud of you just like we are. We are the proudest daddies in the world. You worked hard to succeed with that and you made it. It may had taken times but you didn't gave up. You made it and we are so madly proud of you, baby" he caresses your cheek "I know that’s what I should've said to you in the office, and i'm sorry i didn't because that’s what i felt and that's what I still feel. You make us proud everyday because every days you make something or do something you weren't able to the day before"

You smile down at him "so i real wok ?" you ask sniffing and Bucky chuckles while nodding his head "every work you do is more real than ours. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. Not even us" You giggle softly at the last phrase before nodding your head "otay"

You look up at your Papa who was still glaring at Bucky "I keep job ?" you ask looking between your daddies. Steve breaks his gaze to look at you. His face soften "We don't want you to feel overwhelmed by the job but if you feel like you can do it then you can keep it. We'll make sure to make it as comfortable as we can for you but you have to feel capable of doing it, it's important. And if you decide to keep it, we will support you, as we always do"

[lokiandbuckysdoll]

Not Your Happy Ending

Summary: You thought you were his happy ending, turns out he had other plans.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, mentioned Past Bucky x Natshsa.

Word Count: 1,131

Warnings: ANGST!

A/N: So this idea got stuck in my head and this fic is a product of that idea. I'm sorry in advance! also for people who have requests, I'm working on them !!!!! Also, this is not MCU TIMELINE accurate so please no hate!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You had thought that everything was going well, the world was finally getting back to normal after the defeat of Thanos, Steve gave Sam the shield and is now Captain America, and well Steve that old man somehow figured out a way to bring Peggy back to your timeline and have his happy ending. 

With all this good happening after such tragedies, you still couldn't help but feel as if something was still wrong. As if at any moment something was going to happen. Maybe a little part of it had to do with the way Bucky has been acting since he met with Steve last week. You shook off that feeling and tried to occupy your mind. Yet something told you that things were wrong with bucky. 

Today you decided to surprise him and have a talk with him about his distinct. You'd gotten off of work early and stooped by one of Bucky's favorite bakeries in Brooklyn, you thought he'd enjoy one of his favorites and hopefully ease him into a conversation. 

However, you would soon regret having made that decision. As soon as you arrived at the compound, you had asked Friday to send you in the direction of where Bucky was. She had told you he was in the kitchen with Sam and asked if you would like her to announce your arrival. You asked her not to and then made your way to the kitchen.

Upon walking down the corridor, you stop yourself before turning as you can hear Bucky having what seemed like an intense conversation with Sam. You knew it was bad to east drop but that worried feeling in your stomach began, so you quietly listen to his conversation. 

" Just hear me out okay, all I'm saying is that if Steve brought back Peggy to our timeline then maybe.." You felt your heart tighten at what bucky was trying to say. Did he want to go back to the 40s? you were pulled out of your thought when you heard Sam speak. " Maybe what buck?" Sam questions him. 

"Then maybe I can bring back Nat from this timeline or a different one and have the life we always wanted, I miss her Sam and I can't stop thinking about the 'what ifs'. Steve even said there might be a chance I could bring her back!" At this exact moment, you felt your heart being ripped out of your chest and stepped on. You knew the passing of Natasha wasn't easy on bucky, she was more than a collage or a friend. They were Ex-lovers for crying out loud, they had a connection like no one else. It was one of your top insecurities going into this relationship, you knew you could never be Natasha or live up to what she and bucky had. 

You were in deep contemplation that you nearly forgot you were holding the box of baked goodies in your hands until it almost slid from them. Just as Sam was ready to start speaking again, you swiftly tightened your hold. 

"Are you insane or simply fully insane?" Sam shouted. Sam shook his head and said, "You can't mess with death, Bucky. Bringing Peggy back to our timeline is one thing, but to bring Nat from our timeline or another one is a whole different thing." He stopped, "Hell, I'm sure strange wouldn't even help because it's bizarre." Before Bucky could respond, Friday informed him that Torres needed them at the hanger immediately. When the close was evident and it was plain what you had to do, even if it hurt, you had to leave bucky. 

The last moment that you spoke with Bucky was through a text message from Sam informing you of a last-minute operation they were going on and when they planned to return. It had been a full two weeks since you had heard what Bucky had said to Sam. After what Bucky had admitted, not even he could text you. 

You have recently packed up the life and memories you had with Bucky. You sobbed as you took one last look around the partially empty apartment, soaking it all in before bidding it a fond farewell, lamenting the loss of something that may have been more.    

Bucky knew he had to visit you as soon as he stepped off the Quin-Jet. Sam helped him understand during the past two weeks that the idea of bringing Nat back was impractical. Sam also taught him to value and understand that his relationship with you is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. When times were tough, you were the rock that supported him. Everything you do, whether you dance, grin, or cry, stays in his memory. The more he considered leaving, the more he could not bear to go through that because he adored you. You were always there. 

 Before he could even leave the compound Sam stopped him. He gave him an envelope, "What's this ?" he questioned as he opened it. "Friday said it was from y/n" That was all bucky needed to hear before opening it. 

Dear James,

I look back at the early days of our relationship, the days that were filled with love and innocence with affection heightened and improved over time. Falling in love with you felt like those fairytale moments in a child’s movie. It’s weird to say, but it feels like I cannot exist without you like my life revolves around the love I have for you. I feel as though you have absorbed me. 

I often ask myself. How did I love before I knew you before I possessed your affection? Maybe it’s when you love someone like how I love you that you know how to Indore everything that can perish. I hate to be selfish, but I have to admit it. I will always love you, my sweet James Buchanan Barnes. 

However, I cannot stay in this agony of wanting you to love me how I love you. So I must set you free so you can truly be happy, go explore the world, and live the life you so willingly deserve because in the end that’s all that I care about is your happiness. 

I am sorry I am not your happy ending. 

In that moment Tears began to pull around his eyes as he read the last sentence those words finally sinking into him and hitting him in the face. You must’ve heard his conversation with Sam. He rushed out of the compound and straight to your apartment. He skipped up the stairs desperately to see you, and ultimately when he opened your apartment you were nowhere to be found. He knew he lost you for good, all because you thought you were not his happy ending. 

TAG LIST💜

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[lokiswifeduh]

Doll, please

Pairings- Mob!Bucky x Fem!reader

Summary- Bucky is taken by the reader's ex-boyfriend. You go to save him, not knowing it was a trap.

Warnings- crime, violence, mention of drugs, angst, minor fluff, character being shot, cussing, torture, graphic violence.

WC- 2.6k

masterlist

James was taken, that was definite. The reason was still unknown. Of course, many people had motives. He runs the city. Being the head of organized crime. He had eyes and ears everywhere. He moved drugs and was the owner of most clubs, restaurants, and companies.

His only weakness is you.

However, Rumlow didn't take you. He took Bucky. You knew that for sure.

"Steve, please tell me you know a location. Something, anything?" The blonde looks down at the computer, wanting to give you some form of information. But comes up with nothing.

"I'm sorry, we still don't have anything."

You groan, putting your head in your hands and groaning.

"Boss' tracker went dark before he made it across the bridge into Brooklyn." Sam walks in, throwing the last known location that was printed down onto the table.

Your head perked up, running over to look over the information. "So let's go check it out." But Steve shakes his head, "No." "Why not?!"

He moves forward, getting slightly in your face. "Because that bridge has over five thousand people on it hourly." He throws the paper out of your hands and into the trash bin next to the door. "Buck may be missing but damn it I will not endanger you in any way in his absence." "But Steve-" "No!!" He shouts, making you flinch slightly. "You stay put where it's safe until we know why and or how he was taken." You let out a long breath, "Fuck this." Taking long strides you run out of the room and to your and Bucky's shared bedroom.

"Watch her." Steve mumbles, making Sam nod.

There was protocol, you knew that. If there was ever a reason why Bucky couldn't run things, Steve was the one who was appointed to take over. But just as Bucky would have it, Steve would never put you in danger. Which made it harder for you to help.

Or Steve would think.

You paced in your shared room, trying to think of ways you could leave, a way you could find your husband. You fiddled with the diamond ring on your finger when suddenly your phone pinged with a text.

You ran over to your bed, grabbing your phone with both hands.

CALL THIS NUMBER IF YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND BACK ALIVE

You went to the dial pad, dialing in the number with shaky hands and pressing call. It rang four times before picking up. All you heard was silence before you spoke, "Hello, James?"

"Not James, sweetheart." Your heart stopped as you heard the voice of your ex. Brock.

"W-where is he? Is he okay? Is he safe?"

Brock chuckled, requesting to Facetime, to which you accepted; facing the camera up in an attempt to conceal your face.

He switched the camera around, revealing a dark and bloody room, focusing on some steel tools before he panned over to Bucky.

The state of your husband shocked you, making you almost drop the phone. "James?" His face was bloody, cuts and scratches tore his cheeks and jawbone.

His wrists were red, blood dripping from them as the wire that held him down cut into his skin. a knife was sticking out of his thigh, and his chest was adorned with deep lacerations that even you could tell needed stitches.

"Doll?" He lifted his head. His blue eyes had lost the sparkle they had not only a day ago as he looked into the camera.

"Hi love," Tears streamed down your face as you looked at how much damage and torture he had been put through. "I'm so sorry. I promise we're gonna come find you okay? I promise." You hiccuped, sobbing as you watched him grimace in pain.

"Baby don't come. Send Steve. Please, don't come-"

Your husband was silenced with a punch as you yelped. "Stop! Brock, please." The video was taken off of Bucky and went back to Brock. You could still hear him groaning in pain in the background as your ex-boyfriend smirked.

"I'll let him go. But I need you to do one thing for me princess." You gulped, hearing Bucky scream and protest as loud as he could in the back.

"What?" Brock punched Bucky one more time, silencing him.

That only brought more tears to your eyes as you gulped, seeing him give you an evil smile. "You, for him." "You want me?" "I will let Bucky go, as long as I have you in my possession."

You bit your lip, thinking it over. Wondering about how you would even get away. But in the back of your mind, the schematics didn't matter. All that mattered was Bucky being free, even if that meant sacrificing yourself for it.

"Where do I meet you?"

You once again could hear Bucky protesting in the back but tried to keep a straight face while looking at Brock. He smiled again, "At the corner of East 96th and Park." You gulped, realizing how close that was. Brock must've known where your and Bucky's shared home was.

"And you promise you'll let Bucky go right?"

Brock nodded, "For old times sake princess."

You thought it over for a moment, before wiping the still wet tears on your cheeks. "What time?" "You'll meet my men over there in an hour and they'll drive you to the location." "No," You shook your head. "My husband gets dropped off before I even think about going with you." "Ahhh," Brock sighs, turning the camera back to Bucky before landing yet another hit against his already bleeding cheek. "That's not how this is gonna work, sweetheart."

"Okay! Stop!" You screamed, "I'll be there in an hour. Just please don't hurt him anymore."

"Sounds like a deal." Brock sneered, ending the Facetime.

You broke down, falling to your knees on Bucky's side of the bed, clawing onto the covers. You could still smell the faint scent of your husband. The musky pine and balsam were almost gone as you laid on his side all night, crying yourself to sleep.

You had to do this. Steve and Sam were no closer to finding or retrieving him. And you knew they wouldn't let you go alone, or go at all. You just had to find a way to sneak out without anyone noticing.

Thankfully you still had an escape route from when the house was being targeted by HYDRA's men and you needed to get out for your own sanity.

You realized you had been crying, staring at the framed picture of you and Bucky on your wedding day. Looking over at the clock, it was almost time to meet Rumlow.

You slipped on some black leggings, putting on a long-sleeved black shirt and a jacket. Opening Bucky's nightstand drawer, you grabbed the Glock he kept in there and two hand knives.

Slipping one knife into the holster under your shirt and the other one in your boot. Finally hiding the Glock in the back of your pants under the jacket.

Now all you had to do was slip out without Sam, Steve, or any of Bucky's men seeing you. You knew Steve had for sure put you on lockdown.

You opened your door, seeing one guy turn the corner at the end of the hall. You stealthy moved, closing your door behind you, and walked to the other end of the hall, opening the usually locked door to the armory.

Thank god Steve had unlocked it earlier when they thought they had a location.

Moving to the computer in the corner, you disabled the cameras that were placed on your and Bucky's bedroom door. Shifting over you scooted one of the gun racks out of the way, trying not to make too much noise as it revealed a hidden door behind.

You silently thanked Bucky's mom for making an escape door in the brownstone.

Unhooking the latches from the door, you slipped inside the small space and closed it behind you, carefully descending down the ladder. You jumped to the bottom, opening a door to the alley.

The steam from the subway got in your face as you locked the door behind you, blocking your view. You felt a hard hit on the back of your head as you fell to the ground on your knees. You touched the back of your head, feeling the sticky blood on your fingers.

Another hit made you fall all the way down as you rolled over, looking at who your attacker was. "N-Natasha?"

"Night night...doll." One final hit to your skull and everything went black.

-----------------

The first thing you felt was restraints holding your wrists down. Pounding in your head made you not want to open your eyes. But you could swear you heard someone yelling your name.

Lifting your head with as much strength as you could muster you wearily did, squinting.

"Bucky?" You mumbled, still out of it.

"Doll? Wake up, honey. You gotta look at me."

You opened your eyes more, seeing a bloody, tied-up Bucky in front of you. "James!" You tried to stand up but as you did wire cut into your wrists and ankles. "Ah!" You screamed in agony as you looked down at your wrists which were starting to bleed.

"Doll, don't move, okay? It only makes it worse." Your eyes shot back up to Bucky.

"Are you okay? Where is Brock?"

Bucky shook his head, "He hasn't been in since they brought you in here." "Natasha. She hit me in the head." You remembered, wincing.

"I know," Bucky groaned, "I'm gonna fucking kill her for betraying me." You felt your head pound again, making you groan in pain once again.

"What hurts, baby?" Looking Bucky in his eyes, you saw the worry and guilt he held for this. "It's okay. I'm okay." But he could see the pain your body held. Blood dripped down your neck from the back of your head. An open wound was still bleeding on your forehead, and your chest heaved up and down as you tried not to cry. He vowed to protect you and here you were, tied down and bleeding.

"I swear, I will get us out of here, doll. I promise." Bucky gave you the best smile he could when suddenly the door opened. Revealing Brock, and the traitorous redhead behind him.

You kept your head high, not showing your distaste as Rumlow grabbed the front of your neck with his hand, bringing his mouth to the shell of your ear.

Bucky however did, pulling on his restraints which only made blood drip from his wrists more. "Touch her again and I'll have your fucking head, Rumlow."

Bucky's threat only made Brock laugh as he removed his hand from your flesh, allowing you to take a much-needed breath.

"This is how this is gonna go, Barnes." Rumlow walked over to a table, picked up a pair of pliers, and walked back over to Natasha, handing the rusty tool to her.

"You're gonna tell me the codes to that locked safe you have in Moscow. You know the one."

Bucky gritted his teeth, watching how Natasha pulled up a chair, playing with your hand which was still tightly wired down.

"Or what?"

Brock looks over to Natasha, giving her a nod. The redhead puts the head of the pliers on your index finger, pulling it backward, slowly ripping your fingernail back; eliciting a guttural scream from your throat.

"Stop!!" Bucky screamed, but the torture continued. Blood poured from your finger as you pulled and tried to twist away. "Okay! Stop! I'll tell you anything! Stop!!"

The rusty metal was released from your hand as tears streamed down your face.

Rumlow pulled another chair up, sitting in between you and Bucky. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

Bucky's brows furrowed in concern, looking only at you. "Doll, I'm so sorry."

You shook your head, "It's not your fault, Buck."

"So, what are the codes?" Rumlow looked over to your husband as Natasha slipped iron knuckles onto her hand. "Don't tell him." You groaned out, knowing Bucky would lose everything he'd built if he gave that information away.

"Shut up!!" Natasha screamed, slamming her fist into your face, the iron weapon hitting your cheekbone and nose, causing your head to whip to the side. You screamed, more tears coming to your eyes as blood started to pour from your nose.

"Stop!" Bucky screamed, "She doesn't know anything! She doesn't have anything to do with this!!" "Oh, but you do." Brock stood, walking behind you and maneuvering your face to look right at your husband. Your chest heaved as you couldn't breathe from your nose without blinding pain. Blood dripped into your mouth and your right hand trembled.

"And this lovely specimen is your only weakness."

Bucky shook his head, "I'll give you everything, just let her go."

But Brock tutted, also shaking his head in disappointment, "I need collateral, Barnes."

"You won't get anything out of me if you hurt her."

Rumlow laughed, "Oh, I bet I will." Moving out of the way, Natasha stroked your face three more times with the weapon, knocking you unconscious.

A tear slipped down Bucky's cheek, "Please, stop. You can have everything." He pleaded, not being able to take his eyes off your beaten and broken body. A sob escaped his chest. He hadn't cried since the day of your wedding, and this was breaking him to his core.

Rumlow moved the chair in front of Bucky. "What's the code."

Bucky gulped, "The code.." He sighed, closing his eyes, "It's her birthday." Opening his eyes, he glared at Rumlow. "It's her birthday." Brock grinned evilly, "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Standing up, he threw the chair to the side, moving over to you and cutting all your restraints off.

You fell to the floor, startling you awake. However you didn't move, your body not being able to gather the strength.

"I gave you the codes, Rumlow! Let her go!" Brock turned back, Natasha and him both standing at the door. "You really think I would let you both out of here alive?" His head pulled back as he laughed. "Not a chance, Barnes." Natasha opened the door, and ten men walked through all with guns, lining up in a row. "This city is mine now."

Closing the door behind him and Natasha, a loud speaker squeaked. "You have thirty seconds to say your goodbyes before the firing squad shoots you both to pieces."

Bucky gulped in fear, not noticing you lifting your boot to grab the knife that was inside.

"Doll, you gotta get up!" Bucky shouted, watching you struggle to pull yourself to stand. The ten men readied their weapons, aiming at you and Bucky. You were surrounded.

Finally, you pulled your body up, hobbling over to him with the knife as you tried to cut the wire from his wrists. "You gotta get out of here, doll." You shook your head, "I'm not leaving you." Tears streamed down your face, hearing Rumlow count down. "I won't"

"Doll, please." Looking up at Bucky finally, you let out a sob you had been holding. Ten seconds left.

"I vowed to stay by your side, Buck." Looking back, ten guns pointed at you. You knew what you had to do. "Doll?"

You dropped the knife, straddling Bucky's lap in the chair, wrapping your arms around his neck, and protecting his vital organs with your body. "NO! Doll, please!!"

The men cocked their guns. "Doll!! Stop!! Get up!!"

You shook your head. "I won't let you die!!"

Suddenly bullets rang through the air, but you kept your head down, your body shook into Bucky's as you felt two bullets hit. You screamed, still attempting to hold onto your husband. Bucky sobbed, "Don't do this to me." You looked up, shakily holding his face in your hands, "I love you, James Barnes." Blood dripped from your mouth, "Till forever and always." "Doll, please."

Everything went black.

Fin

part two

masterlist

[binkszamsstuff]

Couldn’t help but stare at her photograph

Summary: James let his faults and insecurities take over his life. Saying things he doesn’t mean because he doesn’t deserve them. This costed him the love of his life and his children.

Warnings: like none really? Crying, angst, kissing, Bucky and reader have children, No happy ending!!!

🎞️

For a while I sat there staring at her photograph, For a while I cried and tried not to make a scene.

James watched the old tape of their wedding. The way she looked ingrained into his mind evermore. How he sore to any and everything that he would spend the rest of his life loving her. That’s the only promise he kept out of all of them.

There in the small coffee shop he watched crying as his y/n and their children sit at a table smiling and talking. He tried not to make a scene.

There was a time when we were young I used to make her laugh. But life is long, my love has gone away from me, gone away from me, gone away from me

“Ew James stop! No..no don’t you dare put that on meeee!” James chased her around the island in their home with raw cookie dough, trying to smear it on her. He was shirtless just in some sweatpants, she was in his shirt.

“Come on baby come give me a kiss” he said playfully.

“If I walk over there and give you a kiss promise you won’t get that on me?” She asked hesitantly

“Yes, yes I promise!” He laughed. She slowly made her way to him like a bunny trying to approach a wolf. He had his arms out waiting for her smiling like a fool. Drunk on love. Once she was in his arms, he held her tight and kissed her. It was warm and comfortable. No lust just pure admiration and love.

Once they broke out of the kiss he rubbed the spatula on her nose.

He broke the promise

“James!” They laughed together

 life is long, my love has gone away from me gone away from me, gone away from me. Life is long, my love has gone away from me.

“Why!? James have I done something wrong? Just let me in” she begged

“I can’t do this anymore, the routine and boring life. I have a second chance to live my life! To be free from hydra! And…”

“And you don’t want to spend it with me? Or our children?” Hopelessly. Was how she said it. And when she put it that way James felt guilty.

“I-i yes! Alright!” He took his regret out on her, in anger.

“I can’t fucking stand to be in this house! The mess! The noise! The nothingness! There’s nothing here!” He yelled

“Our kids are here! I’m here! Our family and love and home is here! We built this! I thought you loved us” she cried, sobbed, feeling like her whole life had been ripped apart.

Because…it had.

Lately I can’t seem find myself no sleep at all. Lately I just lie awake and hear and dream of a time when she was mine,felt like I had it all. But life is long, my love has gone away from me.

In different beds, in different houses that are not quite home. The broken couple that is no longer one lies awake. Thinking, missing, and dying for the other. The presence of one another still lingers on the other side of the bed. James sits in a half empty house. His kids rooms all cleared out, nothing but some left toys they didn’t want anymore. The other side of the closet, bathroom,and bedroom are still ‘moms side’ James in his heart is still married.

Y/n even though in a new house still has an empty space in the bathroom, closet, and bedroom, and her heart. Her stuff on right his on the left, but now she just has a half empty everything. She still makes room for him even though he is not there.

Gone away from me, gone away from me, gone away from me. Life is long, my love has gone away from me.

He didn’t want the endless hookups or a new woman every night like he once told her. He wanted what he used to have, what has left him. He pushed her away because of his insecurities. His arm, his age, his past, his ability to be a good father which he used to be. The kids were still young. Cecily and grant only 6 and 8, could he make it up them? Make it up to her?

Gone away from me. Life is long, my love has gone away from me. Yesterday is gone. Yesterday is dead. Get it through your head and walk away. Yesterday is gone ain’t no use of hanging on to her memory that only causes you pain.

“I’m sorry and I love you”

“Please don’t give me false hope. I love you James you’re the love of my life! But you made this decision and I- I don’t know if I could survive another thing like this happening. I’ll miss for the rest of my life.”

“I’ll miss you until the end of time.” He kissed her goodbye one last time before the kids could notice them, the two kids sitting in the car waiting for them to stop talking so they could go get ice cream with their dad.

At least he tried to get his life back after he broke it.

For awhile I sat there staring at her photograph. For awhile I cried and tried not to make a scene. There was a time when we were young I used to make her laugh. But life is long, my love has gone away from me.

🎞️

He sat and watched her marry a new man. One who could hold and keep his promises. And not let insecurities get in the way of his love and family. For this was James’ life now. Staring at her photograph.

The end

🥲

[wintersoldiersoul]

Headcannons for when you have a bad day

- he notices immediately when you’re in a bad mood

- he sits down next to you and kisses your forehead and hugs you tightly

- asking things like “what’s wrong, my darling?” and “why are you sad, baby girl?”

- listening intently while you tell him so that he can figure out how to make you feel better

- he cooks your favorite meal for dinner (or gets takeout. whatever you want)

- he puts on your comfort show for you while you eat so that you can just relax and distract yourself from whatever upset you

- he’ll give you a long massage, taking his time to work the tension out of your neck and back

- “i’ll be right back,” he tells you with a kiss before disappearing into another room

- a few minutes later he comes back and leads you to the bathroom where he’s run you a bath with rose petals and lit candles

- “do you want me to leave you alone or should i join?”

- of course you want him to join

- when you get out he brings you one of his sweatshirts and your favorite pair of pajama pants

- he brings you a glass of wine (or whatever your fave drink is)

- bucky just wants to spoil you and make you forget about everything that’s upsetting you

- he’s constantly giving you kisses and stroking your arms

- he hates seeing you sad more than anything in the world

- he holds you so close you him when you eventually go to bed, whispering over and over how much he loves you

- even if your day was bad because of something small, he’ll still do everything he can to make you happy

[gaysindistress]

The Barnes Family - a Sad Girl ficlet

Summary: Doll and her grumpy mob boss husband go to a wedding where Bucky can't keep his comments to himself.

Pairing: Mob!Bucky x reader

Warnings: cursing, mentions of spicy times

Word count: 1.4k

Taglist: @vickie5446 @cakesandtom @missvelvetsstuff @angelsincident @spencerreidisagorgman @goldensunflowe-r   @i-have-no-life-charlie @esposadomd @iateall-yourcookies  @littlelizardlizzie @alana4610 @kandis-mom @beware-my-thorns @ozwriterchick @reader-without-a-story @unaxv @wh0reforbucknasty @cjand10​  @vickie5446 @katymae12344 @callsign-athena @openup-yourmind​

master-list

sad girl masterlist

a/n: I went to a wedding and thought about Doll and Bucky from Sad Girl so I had to write one last thing about them.

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

“I want to start off this ceremony the right way; with a prayer to our father who art thou in heaven.”

Bucky clears his throat and fidgets in his chair as the prayer begins. To his left, Doll whacks him on the thigh. 

“What was that for?” He asks as he grabs her hand to stop her from doing it again. 

She rolls her eyes at him and points to the pastor and the couple in front, “we’re supposed to be praying.” 

“And?”

“And you need to stop talking.”

He goes to say something that would make God blush but she digs her nails into his knee as her final warning. 

The crowd around them say Amen as Doll tries to rein in her giant of a man from losing his composure. The pastor drones on about how marriage is a joyous occasiokn that makes a couple whole. Littered throughout his speech are mentions of how women are made for men and are to serve them to the best of their ability. He goes on and on about the story of Adam and Eve, especially the part where Eve was created from Adam’s rib and how that made her indebted to him. 

Bucky lets out a disbelieving snort when the pastor gets to the vows which are again, filled with the idea that the groom is about to get an inhouse servant. Doll shoots him a pointed look but it doesn’t reach her mouth. She’s trying to hold in her own laugh but there are people starting to turn around and glare at them. 

“Bucky I swear to…”

He leans over to whisper into her ear, “It better not be God. I don’t think he would appreciate that.”

“Stop talking or…”

He interrupts her again, “Or what?”

When she doesn’t respond and instead lets her eyes scan his face, a smirk grows and dares her to contiune with her threat. She’s smarter than that and knows when to play into his little game but right now she decides to play her own. The hand that he’s holding to his knee slips out and reaches up to brush over the stubble that’s grown during the last few months. Since finding out that she’s pregnant, he’s started to embrace a more causal look aka letting his beard and hair grow out more. Several mornings he will wake her up and ask for her help with styling it. Today, though, he opted to get his hair cut and returning to his traditional short hair that has her legs given out when she saw him walk out of the bathroom. 

“The house is empty,” she tells him, briefly looking back to the grand estate house that sits behind them. 

Bucky turns to look and catches the hidden meaning behind her words, “Now THAT is something God would definitely not appreciate.”

“Why not?” Doll shrugs her shoulders and lets her hand drop so she can face the front again, “We’re married and I’m already pregnant. I think he would WANT us to have sex.” 

Cheering from the people around them lets them know that the ceremony is about to end. The happy couple smiles widely and shakes their joined hands together as they walk down the aisle. Bucky and Doll stand to clap while he whispers one last thing, “In that case, we should fuck in front of the arch.”

Doll giggles at him and follows the other guests towards the reception area with him trailing after her like a puppy. The mother of the bride stops Doll on her way towards the house to congratulate them on their marriage and baby. 

“Oh Y/N it’s been so long since the last time. How is everyone? How’s Morgan?” the older woman drops her voice at the mention of Morgan but maintains a bright smile. 

“Morgan is good. She’s with her aunt right now but she’s doing really good.”

“Oh good, good. We were all worried about her after you know…”

Bucky speaks up from behind Doll, “That’s funny.”

She gives him a confused look.

“Considering that I’ve never met you before today and I should have if you were that worried about her.”

The woman gasps at his comment and Doll chokes down a chuckle, “It was nice to see you, Amanda. We’ll check up another time.” 

With that, Doll leads her sassy husband away and leaves Amanda in shock with his forwardness. Bucky grumbles something about how two faced these people are and how he can’t wait to leave. She finds their table and takes a seat all the while he’s still grumbling about whatever he can. 

“We can leave after the dances. We’ll blame it on Morgan and say she called us, asking if we could come home,” Doll says to him. 

“If anyone else comes up to me, I’m not talking to them. I can’t stand these people.”

“Fair enough. They’re all Pepper’s friends anyways,” she pauses, staring over his shoulder, “Fuck David is coming over.”

“Who’s David?” he starts, turning to look, “Are you on first names basis with the pastor? Is there something that you want to tell me?”

“I’ll explain it later,” she mumbles and stands to greet the pastor, “David how are you?”

“Y/N! How are you?” David, the pastor, says too enthusically for Bucky’s liking. 

“I’m good, how are you?” She fakes a smile and recoils when he pulls Doll into a hug which has Bucky standing immediately. 

“Let’s talk about you,” he holds her out by her arms, “How far along are you? I didn’t even know you were married.”

“Yeah, Hi I’m her husband,” Bucky wraps a protective arm around her waist and pulls her away from David. He doesn’t offer his hand to shake and instead settles for a death glare. 

David launches into a 3 minute long rant about nothing and everything all at once. The entire time he’s focsued solely on Doll and seems aloof to the murderous stare that Bucky is leveling at him. Eventually he starts in on how he’s upset that he wasn’t invited to their wedding.

“I’m going to have to stop you there David. I don’t know you and you’re making my wife very uncomfortable so why would we have invited you?” Bucky poses to David and checks his watch when he tries to defend himself, “Doll I think it’s time we leave.” 

“Of course,” she is more than happy to gather her clutch and get as far away as she can from David. 

“Have the evening you deserve,” Bucky bids his less than kind bye and leads his wife anywhere but there. 

“You could be nicer,” she tells him, smiling at the guests that pass by them. 

“Then I would be lying,” he remarks back, “To the arch?”

“We are not having sex in front of everyone.” “Why not? There’s nothing more natural than a married couple showing their love for each other.”

She playfully hits him on the shoulder, “I promise once we get home then I’ll let you go wild.”

“Come on there’s no fun in that.”

“Are you trying to say that sex with me is not fun?” He narrows his eyes at her, “I never said that and while we’re at why don’t you tell me how you know David?” “He’s the son of one of Pepper’s friends. She tried to set us up so many times but for obvious reasons I found a way out everytime.” He hums in understanding and digs into his slack’s pocket to unlock the car. Holding the door open for her, Bucky helps Doll in and sneaks a playful slap on her but which earns him an equally as playful smack to his hand.

“It’s right there. You can’t expect me to not give it some love.” “Get your ass in the car and you might get lucky.”

“Yes ma’am,” he salutes her and jogs around to the other side so he can climb in as well. When the engine roars to life, he puts his hand on her thigh and drives them away from the hypocritical and boring wedding they just left. Doll moves his hand up onto her stomach and presses it against it so he can feel their baby move.

“Did you feel that? She’s been moving around so much this evening.”

“Little Winnifred is getting so big.”

She had been moving his hand around to get a better feel but freezes at the name that slips out, “Winnifred?”

He looks over quickly, “It was my mom’s name.”

She hums and starts moving his hand again, “What about Jade Winnifred Barnes?”

“Baby Jade,” he repeats the name over and over again as they drive down the driveway, “The Barnes Family: James, Y/N, Morgan, and Jade.”

“Bucky, Y/N, Morgan, and Jade,” she corrects him. 

“I like the sounds of that.”

[oneofstarkskids]

don't say that (part 2)

part 1

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

genre: angst angst angst!!

warnings: cheating, lying, !TOXIC RELATIONSHIP!

summary: based on taylor swift's song question

*not my gif*

You had decided to stay with Bucky, if only to keep him from damaging himself.

Even if it meant you were being broken down in the process.

He kept true to his promises, insisting that he break up with her. It should've made you feel better, but it didn't.

Seeing how much pain she was in only made you feel worse.

It didn't help that you'd lost sight of who you were and now your whole world seemed to revolve around him.

Neither of you were fit to love one another. It was as if you were pieces of broken glass and your shattered edges didn't match up.

You hated the whole fucking situation.

And given the circumstances, how could you really be happy?

You'd thought that you'd made it obvious that you didn't want your friends to know about the relationship just yet.

His break up was fairly recent still and you didn't want them to think badly of you.

Bucky had even agreed, but somewhere along the line he'd told Sam and Sam told everyone else. Natasha hadn't spoken to you in weeks.

A part of you wanted to be upset with Bucky, but the other part just blamed it on miscommunication.

You didn't need an explanation.

It was late and Bucky had just had a long day of assignments. His arm was draped over your side and his cold nose was pressed against your neck.

He was already half asleep, but you were staring into the darkness of your bedroom, wide-awake.

"Can I ask you a question?" You whispered.

He hummed sleepily.

The words rolled over in your mind for a moment. You didn't want to upset him, but you thought you'd made your stance clear. What he did today proved otherwise.

You were hanging out with the team. Steve had just gotten back from his solo mission and wanted to tell everyone about it.

Bucky walked in and saw you sitting on the couch. Natasha was standing against the wall watching him.

Bucky leaned down and kissed you in front of everyone. It was so sudden and you didn't know how to react.

At first, the team was shocked. They'd heard the dating rumors, but they didn't expect this level of public affection from the former Winter Soldier.

After a few seconds though, Clint started slow clapping. "Real cute, now get a room." Clint Barton, always the sarcastic jackass.

You turned your head away from Bucky and focused on what Steve was saying. However, Natasha's disapproving expression didn't go unnoticed by you.

"Why did you do that today?" You asked quietly.

Bucky still had his eyes closed. "Do what?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

"Kiss me in front of everyone like that."

"Because I love you," he kissed your shoulder.

"I know, but I thought we agreed to keep the relationship thing a little private," you said with a sigh.

Now Bucky was awake.

"Why does it matter? Everyone already knows," he said in defense.

You sat up, annoyed by his careless attitude, "It matters because we agreed! Did you see Natasha's face?"

Bucky sat up too and pulled you onto his lap. He rubbed your back as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I didn't want to hurt her, Bucky," you said guilty.

He kissed your temple, "I know, doll."

You got up and went into the bathroom, needing time away from Bucky. Every second you spent in his arms made you feel worse and worse.

Of course, he got up and started knocking on the door. "Can I come in?"

When he didn't get a response, he opened the door anyway.

You were sitting on the edge of the tub with your head in your hands. You were regretting everything.

He stood in front of you not knowing what to do, "C'mon babe, can we please go back to bed. We can figure this out tomorrow."

You shook your head and ignored his pleas, "It's all too much."

"What's too much? I'm here. Tell me. I'll fix it," he crouched down to your level and held your hands in his.

"No, Bucky. You can't fix it. I just...I need to be alone tonight," you told him with tears in your eyes. "Please."

His jaw twitched, but after a long moment he got up without a word and went into the bedroom. You came out a few minutes later to see him, fully dressed, and grabbing his keys.

He walked out before you could say another word, making sure to slam the door as he left. He hadn't even put up a fight.

The only sound left in your apartment was the soft shuttering breath of your sobs.

tags for those who asked in part 1:

@immyowndefender @ozwriterchick @vicmc624 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

thanks for reading, guys! <3

[first-edition]

Lyrics

Mafia boss Bucky x singer! Reader

Sum- you and Bucky had been together for 3 years before he left, he had even put a ring on your finger. You never knew why he left but it broke you to peices. One day he comes to the club you sing at and you change the song to show him how much your hurting.

Warning- mention of breakup, cussing, sad ending (if you want a good ending ask for it. For now you get to cry.) mention of guns, vehicle destruction.

This is part 1

Part 2 ‘letter’

Part 3 ‘love’

I’d rather go blind by Beyoncé (Etta james)

Bucky walks in a few of his body guards following close behind.

“Bucky!” Steve calls from the other side of the room. He walks over giving his friend a hug smiling.

“How have you been.?” He asks

“Im alright you?” Bucky asks

“Yeah I’m good, hey I gotta treat for you tonight we hired this girl a few months back she’s got an amazing voice. Her name is pudding she’s fucking incredible.” Steve says.

Bucky chuckles

“You got strippers too now?” He asks Stevelaughs

“That’s next week pal” he says other people begin to gather in and pretty soon the show begins to start the lights dim and music begins to play.

Bucky takes his seat in the middle table around the best row. Buckys ear perk as the steady melody hits his heart the familiar music. The curtain opens revealing you.

Bucky sits up his eyes widening. You seem to notice him and sigh rolling your eyes you walk off to the side as the music cuts you walk back in the stage and a different song plays. Bucky frowns confused if your okay. Seeing you in the beautiful skin right dress your make up done and hair falling down your back.

The music begins to play again but it’s a different song.

You begin to sing the song your wrote after Bucky had left you. The lyric hit his ears as he begins to realized just how much he hurt you. He didn’t get to tell you why, didn’t give a reason, didn’t leave a note, or a text, he left 1 million dollars in your bank account and you in the California king bed in his pent house that he’d left in your name.

Something told me it was over (Yeah)

When I saw you and her talking deep

Something deep down in my soul said cry girl (cry, cry)

When I saw you and that girl walking around whoo ooh

You remaine your glaze on him feeling tears begin to fall down your cheeks. Your voice becomes stronger as you sing about how he hurt you.

I would rather, I would rather go blind boy Then to see you walk away from me child naw naw whoo ooh

Bucky runs his fingers through his hair sighing as he ties it up in a bun, looking down not being able to bear your face now tear stained. He’d always promised you he’d never hurt you even though he left to keep you safe he needed you. When steve had asked him if he’s been alright that wasn’t the truth.

He left 6 months ago and hasn’t had a good night sleep since. He’s more hostile to his empylees and takes less bullshit than he did with you. You keep him sane, calm, loved…Happy.

So you see I love you so much that I don't wanna watch you leave me baby

Most of all I just don't

I just don't wanna be free now whoo ooh, Woo oh

Bucky feels a lump in his throat something he hasn’t felt since you had yes to marrying him the pure joy the engulfed him but now it was filled with sadness. Pain that he’d been hiding this entire time.

That ring still on your finger it glistens in the stage light. ‘Why do you still wear it if you’re so hurt?’ ‘why dont you look away from him?’ ‘do you still love him?”

I was just, I was just, I was just sitting here thinking of your kiss, And your warm embrace yeah When a reflection in a glass that I held to my lips now baby Revealed these tears that are on my face whoo ooh

Bucky gets up from his seat sniffing before finishing the glass of bourbon steve so kindly placed in his hand. He takes on last look at you before walking off his body guards follow. He walks out of the club before letting out a yell not angry not to cause attention of pure pain pissed off at himself for not treating you right in the end you deserved a goodbye, a reason, you deserve better that too much money and shit memories.

And baby, and baby, baby I'd rather be blind boy

Then to see you walk away

Walk away from me yeah ”FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” Bucky yells kicking his car and breaks off the side mirror chucking it through the windshield. He punches the door of the car denting it in his metal arm making sparks fly before drawing his gun and shooting it until the ammo is out.

And baby, baby, baby I'd rather be blind boy

Then to see you walk away, Walk away from me

He falls to his knees beginning to sob. Still being able to hear your voice from outside the club as it dies down into Applause then default music begin to play.

Bucky pants sobbing into the black asphalt not even realizeing your steps up to him you kneel down in front of him. He looks up his hair disheveled falling out of the bun it was once tied up in a bun.

You see his tired face the stubble and bag under his eyes. His blue eyes darkened and red by the tears.

“Im sorry…im so so sorry.” His voice breaks.

You nod. Your eyebrows knit together. Tears stream down his face. You place you hand on his cheek he leans into it. Yo lean into him kissing his lips to which he immediately kisses you back.

Lips against his for a few more seconds before you pull away and looking into his eyes his gaze softening. You look down at you hand the ring glistening against your skin. You take it off and take his hand placing it in him palm.

“Y/n..” he begins.

“You left me…but you forgot this.” You say before getting up and walking back into the club. Bucky pleads out watching you walk away.