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stardustdreams-andcaffeine · 1 year

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The Thin Line | Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Summary: Of one thing you were certain—Bucky Barnes hated you, and you hated him. How could you not, considering the super soldier had made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell after you had been assigned to protect him? But there was someone after Bucky from his past, and now he was forced to work alongside you to stop them. And in the process, you would find out just how thin that line was between love and hate.

A/N: This one comes from this request that I received a while back! I have been criminally slow in responding and I sincerely apologize. Hopefully this makes up for it a little bit 🤍

Warnings: blood and violence (all canon for the MCU), someone takes a severe beating (may or may not be reader), ANGST, fluff scattered here and there, fatws!Bucky, banter, mature themes and allusions, grumpy!Bucky

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Hate. There was perhaps no other word as final and lasting as hate.

People had always said that there was a thin line between love and hate, that the two emotions were so similar it was often hard to tell them apart. But not to you. You knew the line between them distinctly.

You had seen people fall out of love as easily as the winking out of a candle, and in the same manner you’d watched a person’s hate burn on even past the grave. You couldn’t understand how someone could mix up the two emotions, not when love had always seemed so fleeting and hate so persistent.

What you didn’t know just yet was that the passion involved in both love and hate often danced upon that line you were so sure was distinct to you. You didn’t know that love, real love was barely an emotion at all. And you certainly didn’t know that when one person truly loved another, it was anything but fleeting.

It was the one thing that lasted longer than hate.

But it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know. After all, how could you? You’d never known real love.

At least, not yet.

|||

The sky seemed to sparkle as the rare sunshine blasted through the clouds and beamed down upon the city of Brooklyn.

But in this moment, you couldn’t fully appreciate its glory. No, not when this happened to be the day you were moving box after box of your belongings into your new apartment. The dazzling sun dared to make you collapse under its rays as you hauled out the last box of your stuff from your car. Sweat slipped down your spine as you managed to slam the trunk shut while balancing the box precariously on one hand. With a huff, you gripped the last box tightly and swiveled towards your apartment complex for the last time.

By the time you’d managed to get into the lobby and over to the elevator, you were practically dreaming of being able to drop down this last box into your new apartment and drop dead on your new couch. You could almost taste the beer you’d picked up on your way into the city and-

“You have got to be kidding me!” You exclaimed, dread coursing through your frame as you read the sign taped onto the elevator doors.

Out of Service.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” The concierge called, leaning on his desk and offering you an uncaring smile, “Stupid thing’s been breaking down all month.”

And you haven’t fixed it yet?

The angry words stayed in your head as you decided with a long sigh that the argument wasn’t worth it.

“That’s fine,” You gritted out, adjusting your hold on the box, “I’ll just take the stairs.”

“Good luck,” The concierge wished, his tone bored.

Not even an offer to help you? The urge to yell at the worker was growing by the second, but you were determined to start this mission out right. Gritting your teeth, you walked over to the stairs and started climbing them without giving yourself time to hesitate. This was going to be a long journey up, and you’d rather get it over with as fast as possible.

By the time you reached your floor, your arms were trembling with effort and your legs were moments from giving out. You took the last step up the stairs onto your floor, letting out a sigh of relief as you paused only for a moment. Just a few more steps and you’d be at your door.

You took half of a step when someone slammed right into you. With the box obstructing your view, you couldn’t see the person coming and they clearly hadn’t seen you. You let out a yelp as you stumbled back towards the stairs behind you. In sudden panic to not tumble down them, you released the box you were holding to free your hands. Just as you were grappling for a railing or something to keep you from falling, a gloved hand gripped your arm and yanked you forward, away from the stairs.

You stumbled right back into the person who had just collided with you seconds prior. As you fell into their hard chest, you were bewildered since you were sure you had dropped the box right…

As you glanced up, you saw the box you had released resting easily on one of the stranger’s hands. His other was still holding your arm, and it was then that you realized that his hand was ice cold. Even with the glove on. With furrowed brows, you glanced up towards the stranger.

“Thank-” Your words died abruptly as your eyes met steel blue ones burning down at you. His hair was shorter and his face was drawn into a look of slight annoyance, but it was him. Your mission had run into you before you could even move into your apartment, “You.”

James Buchanan Barnes released your arm, his stubbled jaw clenched in the way you figured it often was. You would be lying if you said it was only your mission that made your thinking halt so swiftly, because none of his pictures did Bucky’s roguish beauty justice. He was ruggedly, painfully, hopelessly handsome, and you scrambled to collect your mind.

“Don’t mention it,” Came Bucky’s low reply. His voice shot straight through you, setting your hairs on end and stirring something in your chest. With easy strength that now made sense, Bucky held onto your box with one hand, “Moving in today?”

It took every ounce of your strength not to giggle. His words were strained and almost…awkward. You knew he didn’t talk much anymore, but it was hopelessly adorable how he was trying to make small talk. With a smile you kept restrained, you nodded.

“In that unit right there, actually,” You replied, walking over to your door and turning back towards the super soldier, “Thanks for saving my box.”

“I think I saved more than that,” Bucky quipped, his tone smooth and rough all at once. You raised an eyebrow at the man.

His arrogant charm was still intact, that’s for sure.

“Well thanks for that too,” You responded, pulling your keys from your pocket and unlocking your door. As you shouldered it open, you held out your hands to take the box back.

You could tell he wanted to carry the box in for you, a remnant of the 40’s manners that were ingrained deep within him. You kept your hands out for the box, to which Bucky gave in swiftly. You breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he did. Had he brought it in for you, he would have seen the surveillance equipment and weapons scattered about the unpacked apartment.

“Well, I’m next door if you need anything.” Bucky stepped back once you had the box in your hands, half of your body inside your open door. You smiled at him, internally cheering that this mission had already begun on such a great foot.

“Nice to meet you, neighbor,” You announced, your trained eyes taking in the bags underneath his eyes and the tense hold of his frame, “I’m Y/N.”

He hesitated only for a moment, “Bucky.”

And just like that, he had turned on his heel and walked away towards the stairs. You watched him go for a second, intrigue filtering into your gaze. He was distant and detached like you had expected, and the air of grumpiness he bore was unmistakable. But there was a softness to him that you couldn’t deny. Only a touch, but it was there.

Before he could see you watching him, you fully entered your apartment and made sure the door shut behind you. Setting the box down with a huff, you settled your hands onto your hips and surveyed the controlled chaos before you. A few handguns lay strewn around, and your secured technology was piled atop the couch you so desperately wanted to drop onto.

But you couldn’t sleep, not just yet. There was work to be done.

Out of your entire CIA division, you were the operative that Sam Wilson had tasked with keeping an eye on his lone wolf of a friend. Even though Sam knew he could take care of himself, he had asked you to keep tabs on Bucky to ensure he was safe, especially since the Winter Soldier had racked up a list of enemies just dying to exact revenge now that the world was back to semi-normal.

But this wasn’t the Winter Soldier. This was Bucky Barnes, and even though you knew he could handle his own, you were not going to take this mission lightly. You would look out for him, make sure he didn’t drop off the grid like he loved to do, make sure no rogue enemies took him down.

You would protect him, even though you knew Bucky would kill you and Sam if he found out.

So, you would just have to keep him from finding out.

|||

It had been almost two months since you moved in, and the most you had talked with Bucky since your first encounter was in passing on the stairs and the occasional elevator ride.

Of course, you had formatted your daily routine to oppose his perfectly, ensuring you would run into him as many times as passable for coincidence in a day. Even with that, though, all you managed to get out of Barnes was a nod or the occasional hello. He truly was a lone wolf—quiet, grumpy as hell, and, well, alone.

Even with his avoidance of you and all other humans in general, you managed to survey him nearly every day. It had been quiet. No intruders, no threats, no disappearances. Physically, he was perfectly safe. Mentally?

You shook your head at the thought. Bucky needed a life. And social interaction. Sam called you often, wondering if he was still alive considering how much Bucky dodged his texts. It was almost like he wanted to be separated. Like he was punishing himself for something.

That last thought rang through your mind as you started cleaning the dishes you had acquired from your dinner. As the warm, sudsy water ran across your fingers and over the pot you were washing, your brows were furrowed in concentration. If Bucky really was keeping his distance on purpose, maybe protecting him physically wouldn’t be the object of this mission.

But you weren’t trained for that. You were trained for gun fights and strategy and high-level, covert operations. You were trained to infiltrate criminal holdings and take down dangerous individuals. You were trained to attack, protect, defend, strategize.

That’s why you noticed that Bucky Barnes’ door didn’t open precisely at the same time that it had every night for two months.

You paused in your dish-washing, setting down the pot into the sink and turning off the faucet. Letting silence cloak your apartment, you listened closely for the sound of his footsteps or the shutting of his door.

Nothing.

He could be running late, but Bucky never ran late. He never-

There was the smallest shuffle of a foot against your wooden floor.

You shot your hand out and grabbed the knife you had just washed, but you were a moment too slow. Just as your hand closed around the handle and you began to turn around, your back was shoved into your fridge and the knife ripped out of your hand.

Before you could even blink, Bucky Barnes had you pinned against the fridge with his metal hand around your throat.

Your pulse ratcheted up painfully, your eyes wide as you gripped onto his metal wrist. His grip wasn’t constricting your airway, but was applying enough pressure to remind you that your life was currently in his grasp. Bucky was close to you, so close that you could see the flecks of gray in his blue eyes as well as the fury that crossed through them.

“Who the hell are you?” His voice sent a shiver down your spine. It was dark and rough and even, and it should not have had the effect on you that it did.

His body heat poured into you with how close he was to you, and the cold metal of his hand was a sharp contrast. Breathing was difficult, and not entirely because of his hand on your throat. There was something in the air between you, something thick and palpable. You swallowed, keeping your breathing as even as you could.

“Your neighbor,” You responded, not entirely having to fake the tremble in your tone.

“Bullshit,” Bucky growled, his grip on your throat tightening the slightest bit, “You’ve been tailing me for weeks. Who do you work for?”

“Just because our schedules clash doesn’t mean-”

“If one more lie comes out of your pretty little mouth, I’ll make sure whoever hired you is the only one who knows your death wasn’t an accident.” Bucky was unflinching, cold hard rage burning across his features. Beneath it, though, you could see fear. So much fear. It made your heart nearly crumble.

He was scared you were here to hurt him.

“I’m with the CIA,” you finally whispered, your tone no longer shaking despite his outright threat. For some reason, you knew he would not hurt you, “I’m here to watch out for you, make sure you’re safe.”

Bucky’s grip on your throat lessened the slightest bit, and his brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of why the CIA would surveil him. Not giving him a chance to speak, you continued, “And I’m pretty sure the person who hired me would come here and beat your ass himself if you killed me.”

You paused, nodded your head to the side slightly and said more to yourself than him, “Well, he’d try.”

“Who hired you?” Bucky repeated, his tone less harsh than before, but just as dark.

You took a beat to consider your options, but conceded defeat with a sigh, “Sam Wilson.”

Being so close to him, you could see every emotion that flashed through his face. As you watched him work through anger to frustration to annoyance, his grip on your throat loosened until his hand was just resting against your neck.

“Unbelievable,” Bucky grumbled, pulling his hand off of your neck and stepping back in one swift motion.

You let out a full breath, bringing a hand up to touch your throat where his metal hand had just been. You felt suddenly cold without his body heat by you, but it was a cold that you welcomed. If this was how he was going to thank you for trying to help him then you couldn’t wait to be away from him.

You looked over to see Bucky a few strides away, his phone pressed to his ear and his hand on his hip. Before you could speak to him, whoever he was calling must have picked up, but you didn’t have to guess at who it was.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky suddenly exploded, his jaw tight. Whatever Sam said didn’t appease him because his exasperation only intensified.

“You Sharon Carter’ed me!” Bucky gritted out, “Steve was clueless so he didn’t notice until she was on his doorstep with a gun, but did you really think I wouldn’t?”

“Sharon Carter’ed?” You mumbled, confused. Shaking your head, you took a step closer to Bucky, “Listen, if you’ll just give me a minute to explain,”

Bucky stopped you, pointing in your direction, “No, you don’t get to talk here.”

Shock crashed over you as he continued to argue with Sam over the phone. Indignation flared within your chest and you sputtered for a moment, trying to comprehend the fact that he had just shushed you in your own apartment.

“Nuh uh,” You interrupted, anger flaring hot in your veins as you stormed over to Bucky, “This is my apartment and you do not get to waltz in here, choke me out, then tell me I can’t speak.”

“You choked her out?” Sam shouted on the other side of the phone, so loud even you could hear it. Bucky’s eyes were hard as he dropped the phone to his side and took a step closer to you. He was menacing when he wanted to be, and right now, towering over you with a quiet sort of anger, he was. If only you scared easily.

“Oh really?” He nearly whispered, his anger flooding down at you. You could see him getting more frustrated the longer you stared him down right back, your chin tilted up and your gaze as leveled with his as it could be considering his height and stature, “You’ve been spying on me for weeks and now I’m the one invading your space?”

“I wasn’t spying on you, I was looking out for you. If you haven’t noticed, your friend is a little more than worried about you!” You fired back. You heard Sam saying something on the phone, but it was still down by Bucky’s side.

The two of you were staring each other down, that same thick tension in the air. Not thinking about the consequences, you reached down and snatched the phone from Bucky’s grasp and turned it on speaker.

Bucky looked at you in pure shock, as if he couldn’t believe you’d actually just taken the phone from him.

“You’re on speaker now, Sam,” You informed.

“Finally,” Sam sighed over the phone, his tone surprisingly even and patient, “Buck, you gotta understand where I’m coming from. You don’t answer anyone’s texts, you don’t check in, and I know for a fact you’ve had one or two unwelcome visitors at your door.”

“I can handle myself, Sam,” Bucky gritted out.

“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to! I know that it’s hard with Steve gone, so-”

“No, you don’t know.” Bucky’s voice was final, and Sam paused, not seeming to fight with his statement. Bucky stared down at the floor, his arms crossed over his chest.

You couldn’t help but stare at him. There was a sadness in those words, one that nearly shattered your heart. Your anger towards the super soldier softened the slightest bit.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Sam conceded, “But I’m trying to reach out here. We don’t have many people left, man. I don’t want to lose another friend.”

That seemed to soften the edge of Bucky’s frustration so deeply that even the frown set into his face disappeared. In its place was resignation.

“I’m not here to intrude on your life,” You chimed in, making Bucky glance up to you, “I’m just here to make sure you’re safe.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Bucky grumbled.

“I’m not your babysitter,” You assured, “And trust me, after tonight I want to spend as little time around you as you do around me. So, let’s make a deal. I keep to myself and you don’t break into my place and try to kill me in my sleep.”

Bucky hesitated, his eyes surveying you closely. On the phone between you, Sam piped up, “And you have to answer my texts.”

Bucky groaned, running a hand through his short, dark hair before shaking his head. After what seemed like an eternity, he sighed in defeat, and you couldn’t stop the small smile of victory that tugged on your lips.

“Fine,” He gave in, his eyes turning up to lock with yours, “But if I see you tailing me one more time, deal’s off.”

“No promises,” You responded boldly, your heart pounding strangely as Bucky took a menacing step closer to you.

“Then no promises about breaking in,” He shot back. The two of you glared intensely at each other until a voice called out from the phone.

“Alright you two, knock it off,” Sam ordered, sounding so incredibly tired, “Now can I please go? You caught me right in the middle of my beauty sleep.”

You chuckled softly, a smile ghosting your lips again, “Bye Sam,”

You ended the call and handed the phone back to Bucky, who you found already staring at you. You couldn’t place the look in his gaze, but it seemed akin to disdain, so your smile dropped.

“How did you even get into my apartment?” You asked. Bucky kept his arms crossed over his chest, making his biceps bulge against his long-sleeve Henley.

“You tell me, you’re CIA,” He shrugged, looking too smug, “Or should I call Sam back and tell him he sent a novice to babysit me?”

“Stay out of trouble, Barnes,” Was all you said back, your jaw held tight.

“Have fun with your dishes,” Bucky dryly responded, brushing past you without another word towards your door. Frustration bubbled up within your gut, and it took every ounce of your patience to not turn and yell right back at him. So, taking a deep breath, you turned and watched him open your apartment door.

He paused and glanced back over at you before he was fully out, “And stay out of my way. I’m doing this for Sam, not because I need your help.”

Then he slammed your door and left.

Taking all of your energy not to scream, you let out another sigh and put a hand to your forehead. Gone was the distant, polite neighbor. You had failed epically, but you couldn't from here on out.

Bucky Barnes was going to make your life hell, and you already dreaded every second to come.

|||

Over the next month, your nods and hello’s in passing turned into grunts and, if you were lucky enough, the occasional insult you could fire back at.

In short, you loathed Barnes.

Looking back, you couldn’t fathom how his handsome features had drawn you in when you first met. Sure, he was still stupidly attractive, but now it was more frustrating than it was something to fawn over.

You still did your job as best you could, but you counted the days until Sam could come up to New York and take over the mission for you.

Currently, you were mulling over ways to subtly infuriate Barnes more than you already did as you walked back to your apartment complex from your run. You tried to get out and run at a park nearby a few times a week, but considering how much you hated running, you’d missed a few weeks in the process.

Today, though, you just had to go. You needed to clear your head after you bumped into Barnes this morning and he informed you that somehow, the potted plant hanging on your balcony “accidentally” ended up on the ground five stories down.

As you walked back into the cool lobby of your apartment building, you glanced up at the stairs that sat right beside the elevator. You paused for just a moment, considering if you should be healthy and take the stairs. That moment was swifter than you’d like to admit as you turned towards the elevator only to find the doors closing.

Against the protest of your legs sore from your run, you jogged over to the elevator, “Hey, hold the doors!”

As you approached, you saw a hand shoot through and stop the doors from closing just in time. As they opened back up, you sighed in relief, an easy smile on your features, “Thanks. I-”

As you stepped into the elevator, your words died. As you and the person who had held the elevator for you locked eyes, the both of you groaned.

“You have got to be kidding me,” You grumbled at the same time as Bucky Barnes.

The elevator doors shut, closing you into one of your worst nightmares—the two of you stuck together in a confined space. The air was heavy and the tension high, an uneasy silence settling in the air. Your chest tightened slightly and your body tensed up, almost as if you were waiting for something to happen. Deciding to be civil, you looked over at Bucky and offered him a cordial smile.

“Had a good day so far?” You asked, your voice strained.

Bucky just shook his head, “If you try to make small talk right now, I will throw you into the elevator shaft.”

Your smile dropped instantly, replaced by a grimace, “You are so violent, you should really talk to your therapist about all that pent up anger.”

“I hate you,” Bucky grumbled.

“Well that makes two of us.”

Almost as if on cue, the elevator comes to a grinding halt. The stop is so sudden that it jolts the box, making you gasp and grab onto the railing along the wall opposite Bucky.

“What the hell?” Bucky grits out, walking up and pushing the button to your floor repeatedly. When that doesn’t work, he pushes the emergency button only to have no response. That button must have been broken too.

Realizing suddenly your predicament, you brought a hand to the bridge of your nose, “This is not happening.”

Of all the times for the stupid elevator to break down, it chose now? When you were stuck inside with the one person in the world who hated you the most?

“Hello?” Bucky called out, banging on the side of the elevator.

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s gonna fix it,” You criticized, shaking your head at Bucky.

“Well what else are we supposed to do? The damn help button won’t work,” He fired back.

“I know you were born almost a century ago, but we have these things called cell phones and they do this magical thing where we can call for help.” You pulled out your phone and showed him the emergency call screen for show. Shaking his head, Bucky grumbled something about “insufferable” under his breath as you called for help.

While you were on the phone with emergency services, you explained your situation only to be told the fire department was caught up and wouldn’t be able to help for another hour.

“An hour?!” You exclaimed, already planning how you were going to beat the hell out of the management team for not fixing the stupid elevator.

“I’m sorry, that’s the best we can do,” The emergency operator apologized. Suddenly feeling guilty for you outburst on the poor worker just doing their job, you sighed.

“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault. Thanks for the help,” You amended, your tone softer this time. After hanging up, you slipped the phone into your pocket.

“Well, looks like we’re stuck here for a while so get-,” Your words halted abruptly when you looked up and saw Bucky opening the doors of the elevator by force, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting out of here,” He gritted back, shoving open the doors easily. You almost laughed when he was met with a solid brick wall. With a smug smile, you tilted your head at the soldier.

“You were saying?” You sweetly taunted. He shot you a death glare as he let go of the elevator doors, allowing them to shut back.

“It’s gotta be an easy fix,” Bucky mumbled to himself, walking back to the wall opposite you and beginning to bang on the side of the elevator.

You gasped as the elevator box began to tremble under his hits and you lurched forward, grabbing his bicep to stop his assault, “Stop! You’re gonna send us plummeting straight to the basement.”

“Well then maybe I’ll get lucky,” He grunted, shaking off your hold and going to hit it again. This time, real fear hit you.

“If we drop, you’d make it unscathed,” You began, and Bucky didn’t even look at you.

“Exactly, so what’s the-”

“I wouldn’t.” Your words are softer than even you’d expected, but it managed to halt Bucky’s assault on the side of the elevator. He glanced back at you, and in that moment you understood exactly what hung in the air unspoken. He was a super soldier, you were a normal human.

He couldn’t respond before the elevator gave a sick jolt.

You gasped, your knees nearly buckling from the fall. Before either of you could react, the elevator was careening down in a free-fall. You barely had time to scream when Bucky’s strong arm was around your waist and tugging you close, pressing you between the elevator wall and his body. He held you in a death grip, locking you against him and effectively saving your life.

Luckily, just as quickly as the fall had started, it stopped with a brain-shaking halt.

The silence that followed was thick, and you didn’t realize you were gripping Bucky’s shoulders until your mind finally was convinced you weren’t going to fall to your death. Coming to your senses, you felt your body pressed tightly up against Bucky’s and looked up to see him staring down at you, his brows drawn together and the hate in his eyes missing.

It was then that you realized you could no longer ignore the tension that was present whenever he was near you, because in this position it was overwhelming.

The moment was over as soon as it had begun. You were shoving him off almost as soon as he was letting you go. Breathless, you shoved Bucky’s shoulder, “What the hell, Barnes? You could have gotten us killed!”

“Then you would have failed your stupid mission,” Bucky pointed out, only making you angrier.

“You are infuriating,” You seethed, holding your hands out in exasperation, “Are you trying to get me to quit? Are you that insistent on shoving everyone else away?”

Bucky shook his head, his jaw held tight and his blue eyes on fire. He was staying silent, shutting down again like he often did. That only made you angrier, but a part of you yearned to get closer, to prove to him that you weren’t going to leave him.

Once again, as if on cue, the elevator began to move again with a jolt. You let out a breath of relief, your anger turning into exhaustion. Just as the elevator stopped, this time at your floor, you got off first, Bucky close behind.

“Fine, give me the cold shoulder,” You called out to him as you approached your door beside his. You fished out your keys and stopped, looking over at him as he ignored you and worked to open his door, “Do what you have to, but I’m not leaving you.”

Bucky froze, turning to look at you. Something in his gaze stirred your heart, but you kept your gaze strong and unflinching, “I’m seeing this mission through, whether you like it or not.”

Then you opened your door and went inside, leaving Barnes out in the hallway, still frozen with his keys in his door.

|||

That night, you couldn’t get to sleep.

You tried everything—sleeping supplements, reading, counting sheep. Nothing worked. Your mind refused to settle down, running over your elevator encounter with Bucky over and over again. The way he seemed to stall when you said you weren’t leaving him, the way he had grabbed you the instant the elevator dropped, the way you could still feel the burn of his arm around your waist.

The way being held by him had felt so infuriatingly right.

You covered your face with your pillow, willing yourself to forget what you just couldn’t seem to. You didn’t have to try long when the sound of something scraping on glass caught your attention. Slowly, you pulled the pillow off of your face and listened closely, the silence of your apartment settling over you like a blanket.

Maybe you had dreamt the noise. Maybe Bucky really was getting to you head and it was making you cr-

There it was again.

You sat up this time, your brows furrowed as you swiftly got out of bed. With silent feet, you crept to your window and pulled down one blind just enough for you to peer out into the dark night illuminated only by the haze of streetlights below.

Nothing. Nothing, nothing…there.

In the murky night, your strained eyes caught a glimpse of a rope hanging down off to the left of your window. Towards Bucky’s apartment. Looking a bit harder, you saw another, and then another. Then, now that you were listening, you began to hear the soft thuds of shoes against brick and iron and glass.

Someone was going to break through his window.

Suddenly vaulted into action, you jogged out of your room, grabbing the gun you kept on your nightstand as you did. You didn’t stop to consider the fact that you were only in a large t-shirt with no pants on. The only thing you could think about was Bucky sleeping next door while those intruders busted into his windows. In a matter of seconds, you were out into the hallway and pounding on Bucky’s door.

“Barnes, let me in,” You hissed, your voice low so as not to wake the neighbors. When there was no response, you pounded your fist against the door again. The sound mocked the repetitive thumping of your heart within your chest, its beats not only for the fight to come or the sudden burst of energy.

“Come on!” You pressed, in the middle of another round of knocking when the door flew open. On the other side, a very pissed and very shirtless Bucky stood, his muscular arm barring the doorway.

“This better be good,” Bucky grumbled, his voice closer to a low growl.

If this were any other time, you would have taken a moment to appreciate the sculpted plane of his body or even to notice the blanket strewn on the hardfloor indicating he didn’t sleep in a bed. You didn’t worry about any of that, though. Instead, you shoved past Bucky as soon as that door was opened, your gun raised.

“What the hell are you-”

Bucky was cut off by the shattering of his window.

You had four rounds fired off before the first two intruders could set their feet in the apartment. The blasts were muffled by the sound suppressor on your gun, but they found their targets with no less force or deadly precision.

“Shit,” Bucky cursed, the sound of his dog tags clinking as he sprinted over to the window just as the third and fourth intruders touched down. This time, these two made it down, the bullets lodging in the wall or their vests.

Then Bucky was on them, his metal arm catching one by the throat while he kicked the absolute shit out of the other, sending the intruder flying into the wall. The plaster cracked behind him and you shoved your gun into your waistband, no longer able to fire without risking hitting Bucky.

As Bucky incapacitated the intruder he had by the throat, you made sure the one he kicked stayed down. As the attacker staggered to his feet and rushed you, you dodged his clumsy hits easily and landed a crushing uppercut to the underside of his jaw. The sound of his teeth snapping together was sickening, but you were unfazed.

As the large attacker stumbled back, you rushed him and slid to the ground. You wrapped your legs around one of his and tugged, bringing the large invader crashing to the ground with a force that made the floor shudder. Moving quickly, you maneuvered yourself on top of the downed intruder and whipped out your gun, holding it directly at his head.

Suddenly, the apartment was silent except for the panting of both you and Bucky. You glanced up to see Bucky standing over the invader he was fighting, his bare chest heaving with breath. Probably more out of shock than exertion, you figured.

Turning your gaze down to the one pinned beneath you, you held the gun steady, “Who do you work for?”

The man smiled up at you, his teeth full of blood, “You’ll have to kill me,”

“Okay,” You said simply, moving the barrel of your gun to his shoulder and pulling the trigger.

The invader let out a strangled cry of pain at the nonfatal injury, his body writhing beneath you.

“Let’s try this again,” You gritted out, pushing the gun closer to his chin, “You tell me who you work for, or the next shot goes into your brain.”

“He’ll kill me for telling you,” The man nearly sobbed.

“Who’s he?” Bucky growled, staring down at the attacker mercilessly. When he didn’t respond, you clenched your jaw.

“Either die now for not telling us, or die later with a chance of making it away. Your choice.” Your words rang through the room as both you and Bucky stared down this terrified intruder. A pang of sympathy ran through you that was quickly smothered because in the end, he had come after Bucky.

And for some reason, that made your vision bleed red.

“Kingpin,” He finally cried, his eyes shut as his blood seeped into Bucky’s floor, “Kingpin sent us to silence the Winter Soldier.”

You had to fight to keep the shock from your features long enough to whip the butt of your gun across the blubbering man’s face and knock him out. Once he was silent beneath you, you stood slowly and looked over to Bucky. His jaw was clenched and his eyes holding that same haunted look they often did.

“I had a run-in with Kingpin as the Winter Soldier,” Bucky muttered, his eyes trained down on the floor where the four intruders were, “I managed to get past his defenses, tore through them like paper. What I found nearly sent him to prison for good if Hydra hadn't cut him a deal.”

The words broke over you, making your mind whir, “So if he’s coming after you now, after all this time,”

Bucky looks up at you, his blue eyes nearly knocking your bravado out, “Then that means he’s got something going on he wants to make sure no one finds out about.”

You took a moment to process the implications. Kingpin had something big going down, not that he didn’t always, but now it was more personal. Now, it involved Bucky, which meant it involved you.

“I’ll get this mess cleaned up,” Bucky sighed, running a hand through his short, dark hair, “Go back to your apartment.”

That was it? Not so much as a thank you?

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “That’s one way to thank someone who just saved your ass.”

“You didn’t save anything,” Bucky gritted out, taking a step closer to you in that intimidating way you found he often liked to, “If you hadn’t come by, I still would have woken up and taken those guys easily.”

“Are you kidding me?” You exclaimed, gesturing around to the mess, “I had two of those guys out before you were even fully awake, Barnes! Just admit I helped you,”

He was so close to you that you could barely reach out and you would be touching his bare skin. The temptation was strong, stronger than you’d like to admit. It was like he was a magnet and you a compass, and for the life of you, even when you wanted nothing more than to run away from him, you couldn’t stop yourself from being led right back into him.

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Bucky muttered, his voice low and making your stomach take a sudden swirl. “I don’t need your help.”

His eyes darted down to your lips, and then lower before returning to your gaze. It was then that you became fully aware of your lack of pants. Your cheeks heated slightly and you felt your stomach go taut from his attention, but you clenched your jaw and held your place.

“Clearly, you do,” You echoed back to him, refusing to back down. After staring off at him for a few more moments, you let out a frustrated groan and stepped back, snapping the tension in the room as you shoved your way to the door.

“Why do I even bother with you?” You gritted, stepping over a body, “I got up in the middle of the night and risked my life to help you and I don’t get so much as a-”

“Thanks,”

Bucky’s voice was so quiet that you almost missed it, but you had heard it. You froze in your tracks, your body going still except for your speeding heart as you slowly turned back around.

“What?” You whispered, unbelieving what he had just said. Bucky shot you a pointed glare, but let out a long sigh, some of the anger draining from his face. He looked tired, so incredibly tired.

“Thank you,” He repeated, the words cutting straight through your anger, “I know I can be difficult, it’s just…I’m not…”

He struggled with the words, his voice no longer flooded with frustration or annoyance. You spent a moment peering at the soldier, taking in the fact that he indeed had slept on the floor and noting the dog tags that hung around his throat.

Bucky Barnes was haunted by his past. So haunted, you guessed, that he was shoving away everyone in his life to make sure nothing bad could happen again. You still were infuriated by him, but you couldn’t say that you hated him.

In fact, you couldn’t begin to think if you ever really did. Or if maybe that hate was just a cover for the growing attraction you felt towards him, for the…

Ridiculous, you scolded yourself.

“It’s okay,” You finally announced, your words softer than you intended them to be, “I get it.”

Somehow, you found yourself offering him a sad, soft smile that made the hard edges of his face soften.

“You’re a lone wolf, I get that.” Your words made his jaw twitch, “And I’m not gonna tell you how to heal. You already know that answer. So, when the time comes that you’re ready to not do all this alone anymore, I’ll be right next door.”

Something changed deep within Bucky’s gaze, something that would have made you stay if you didn’t turn and walk towards the door. As you did, you felt the thumping of your heart. Your words had not just been an offer of help for this Kingpin situation. No, they had been more. An offer of help for anything, and you hadn’t realized you had meant them until they had come out.

Now you were left wondering for the rest of the night when exactly you had stopped hating Bucky Barnes.

And why you had the suspicion that you never hated him at all.

|||

As the dawn broke the next morning, so did your common sense.

No matter how magnetizing Barnes was, you had to keep your distance unless your mission directly required you to get close. You didn’t know how deep your…not hatred…ran, but you weren’t willing to find out. It could compromise this mission, and most dangerous of all, it could compromise Bucky.

You had to keep your head in the game. So, the next week or so was packed with you spending the day actively avoiding Barnes in the same way you had purposely collided with him at first. During the nights, you poured over documents and case files concerning Kingpin. You tracked his movements, hunted down where his men crawled back to after their missions, watched his cover businesses with a close, keen eye.

Kingpin was an intimidating mobster and could rule his forces with an iron fist of fear, but he wasn’t necessarily the brightest businessman. He was good at covering his illegal tracks, but not great. That was why you were able to catch the whispers around the upcoming charity gala a local socialite was hosting.

Word was, Kingpin and his men would be at the gala to finish working out a business deal with an associate. The same business deal, you suspected, that had him lashing out at not just Bucky, but several other known adversaries to his empire across the whole of New York.

So if Kingpin would be there, so would you.

As you finished getting ready for the gala and stood in front of your mirror to make sure everything was perfect, your mind strayed to the super soldier next door. You hadn’t seen him in over a week, not since that night where you saved his life. Even now, his apartment was silent.

You let out a long sigh and adjusted the contours of your dress and felt for the weapons beneath it. The floor-length number was deceiving to anyone with a keen eye, exposing parts of you that would normally hide weapons. Your thigh on your dominant side was almost fully exposed with a slit, and your bodice provided no way to get to a weapon if it was stored there.

You were a professional, though. Where you hid your weapons, no one would see until it was too late.

As you made your way out of your apartment, being sure to take the stairs this time, and then climbed into the ride you had waiting for you outside, your mind played through a million different ways this night could go.

Best case would be you catching wind of whatever business had Kingpin so wound up with no altercations in the meantime. Worst case…well, let’s hope you didn’t have to use those weapons you so painstakingly hid.

After a drive that wasn’t long enough, you clambered out into the star-lit, diamond-encrusted evening. The event hall was elegant as you walked in, decked in lavender and silver and crawling with New York’s most elite. In a crowd like this, you knew it would not be hard to find a man as large as Kingpin.

The longer you spent canvasing the gala, the more your worst case scenario started to play out in your head. As you had feared, Kingpin wasn’t here, not that you could see. Odds were, he sent someone in his place to do the negotiating. Now you had to find some way of finding that-

You gasped as your shoulder bumped right into a firm chest. You had been so busy scanning the room that you hadn’t been looking where you were walking. A warm, calloused hand gripped onto your elbow to keep you stable, and the way the touch made your brain fog should have been an indicator of who this man was.

But you did not think of it until you glanced up, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t…what are you doing here?”

As your gaze connected with Bucky Barnes, you saw the same flash of disbelief and then annoyance run through his crystal blue eyes.

“Are you serious, doll? You can’t even give me one night out without following me?” Bucky muttered lowly, his hand still around your elbow, holding you close.

Your chest skipped at that word, that nickname he had called you, but you ignored it and glared right back up at the man, “You know, and this may come as a shock to you, but not everything in my life revolves around following you,”

Bucky scoffed, tilting his head at you. Suddenly, you were fighting to overcome how stunning he was in the all black suit that he wore. His alluring gaze seemed to draw you in again, and you knew you had to get away from him.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, sweetheart.” Bucky assured, his tone like pure narcotics to your soul.

You let out a short laugh, “Trust me, I know.”

He shook his head, licking his bottom lip as he held your arm and started pulling you towards the exit, “It’s time for you to go.”

“Hey, you cannot just tell me what to do!” You muttered, pulling your arm from his grasp and coming to an abrupt halt. He gritted his jaw as he turned and looked down to you, but you beat him to the punch.

“If you’re here for the same reason as me, then Kingpin’s men are out here somewhere carrying out a business deal that could be huge. This could be our only chance to stop it.”

“Our?” Bucky repeated, and you stared at him indignantly.

“That’s what you caught from all of that?” You exclaimed, huffing out a breath, “Look, whatever is happening is big. If we don’t stop him, who will?”

“I said before, stay out of this. Go back to Langley and report your mission as a success, and leave me alone. These men are dangerous, don’t make this your fight.” Bucky’s words weren’t as angry as before, there was something in them, something almost desperate.

You held his gaze, taking a step closer, “Trust me, sweetheart, I’ve dealt with plenty of dangerous men.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked, almost taunting you as he cocked his head at you.

Your heart was racing, your skin was on fire and he wasn’t even touching you. Maybe leaving was the best idea.

You caught something out of the side of your vision, and looked over towards the dance floor. There you saw one of Kingpin’s associates you’d been tracking all week step out onto the dance floor with a woman you’d never seen before. As he pulled her into a waltz, you knew immediately that this was a business dance, not pleasure.

“There, 11 o’clock,” You whispered, turning your gaze back to Bucky as his gaze flitted towards the direction you gaze. He nodded once.

“That’s them,” He agreed.

“Come on,” You urged, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the dance floor.

“Woah, woah, I don’t dance,” Bucky protested, but let you pull him nonetheless. You cracked a half-smile as you looked back at Bucky, and you noticed the way something in his gaze shifted at the sight of your smile.

“Well tonight you do.”

As you pulled Bucky out into the slow dance alongside a few dozen other couples, you noticed the way his lips tipped up ever so slightly. The sight of that smile…it made your heart miss more than a few beats.

As the two of you joined the fray, Bucky tugged you into him so swiftly that you let out a gasp. Expertly, he guided one hand to the small of your back and grabbed your hand with the other. In a matter of moments, the two of you were dancing, and you looked back up at the soldier in wonder.

“I thought you said you don’t dance,” You mused. Bucky smiled, then turned his gaze to you.

“I don’t, doesn’t mean I can’t,” He informed.

In that moment, with your hand in his gloved metal one and him smiling down at you like that…it was enough to make you forget anything before this, before now, before him. The two of you danced, and for a moment both of you forgot why you’d joined the dance floor in the first place. Forgotten was business and missions and danger, the only thing left in the world was his hands on you as you danced.

You could hardly breathe as he led you around the dance floor, and you certainly couldn’t take your eyes off of his. You weren’t smiling anymore, but neither was he. You didn’t smile because you knew. In that moment, held in his arms and dancing like the two of you had been practicing this step your entire life, like you had been made to dance together, you knew.

You knew that no matter what unfolded in the days and weeks to come, whatever became of this mission, Bucky Barnes had ruined you. For no longer could you dance with anyone else. Not when you knew this, knew him.

He had ruined you in this moment, and for the first time in your life you understood why the Moon never left its orbit. The Moon was so enthralled with catching even a glimpse of the Sun that it was willing to bear the black of night if that’s what it took to bear the Sun’s rays.

Bucky Barnes had ruined you, and now you could never leave your orbit either.

“Doll, I-”

Whatever Bucky was going to say died as the two of you suddenly found yourselves dancing right beside Kingpin’s associate. That was the snap to reality that you needed, and you forced out1 the outrageous thoughts that had been plaguing you.

Thinking quickly, you pulled out of Bucky’s hold and stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder. This position let you inconspicuously listen in to what it was that the associate was saying to his business partner, and Bucky quickly caught on as he brought his hands to your waist and held you close.

You’d like to say that eavesdropping was the only reason you did this, but you’d be lying. Being held by him set your skin on fire, as if you’d been touched by lightning and survived. You needed this, you craved this, with his hands on your waist and his breath on your neck. But you had to focus right now, you had to hear what the associate was saying.

You forced your brain to switch into operative mode, forcing yourself to focus only on the conversation beside you.

“-depending on how much your boss is willing to pay. Timeliness like that is going to be extra,” The woman spoke.

“Money is not an issue, trust me,” The associate assured.

“Well then,” The woman responded, sounding pleased, “1.5 for the weapons and an extra 1 for the time bump. Do we have a deal?”

There was a pause, a consideration. Your heart sped up more than it was already racing. Weapons. An arms deal that Kingpin would no doubt use to spread onto the streets, to put a tighter noose around the neighborhoods he already kept under his thumb. And over two million dollars just for weapons? This was the biggest deal you’d seen up close. This could plunge New York into a deeper chaos than it already was.

“An even 2 and we have a deal,” The associate managed out, his tone taut.

“Then I will see you next week. And your boss had better be there, or the deal’s off,” The woman spoke with finality. And then there was silence, nothing but the waltz and the normal clamor of the gala.

Pulling back, you turned your gaze up to Bucky, whose gaze burned down on you with a certain clarity to his blue eyes.

“Got it?” He mumbled. You nodded, your eyes wide with excitement.

Smoothly, Bucky led you right off of the dance floor, offering his arm to you. You took it, making sure the two of you were walking in the direction opposite the associate. When you were mixed enough in the crowd, you spoke quietly, your tone flooded with vigor.

“Sometime next week, two million for an arms deal,” You informed. Bucky let out a sharp breath, his gaze forward just like yours as the two of you walked.

“A trade that big…”

“I know,” You whispered in response, your heart thundering. You stopped walking, pulling Bucky to look at you, “I could figure out a day, time, and place. Then, together we could crash their party with an army of SWAT and CIA hiding out nearby. We could keep two mill worth of weapons off the streets and put away Kingpin for a while.”

Bucky turned his gaze from you, his jaw clenched. You furrowed your brows up at the man, you were so sure he would be all over this mission. So why did he have that look in his eye?

Without looking down at you, Bucky finally spoke, “Like I said, there’s no we. I’m taking you back to the apartment and that’s where you’re gonna stay until this is over.”

You flinched back, so struck by his sudden change in demeanor that a shot of pain went through your chest. How could he be so cold after what happened on that dance floor? You couldn’t have been the only one to feel that…

“I don’t understand,” You breathed, indignation rising in your chest, “Don’t you want to take out Kingpin?”

“I do,” Bucky responded, finally looking down to you with that cold, shut-off look in his gaze that you knew all too well, “But not with you. You’re going home.”

He let go of you and turned, walking towards the exit of the gala. Sputtering, you followed after him, storming behind him into the brisk night.

“Are you kidding me?” You exclaimed as he gave the valet his ticket and they ran off to grab his car, “What happened to working together? This is my mission, Bucky and I’m not just going to give up on it.”

Bucky turned on you, his gaze boiling with something that wasn’t quiet anger, but felt a lot like it, “I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. Stay out of this one.”

You could see the valet bringing up the car and you knew that once we were inside, he would shut down. This was your last chance.

“Whether you want my help or not, you are getting it! It is my mission to keep you safe, Bucky and I’m not letting you do this alone.”

Bucky shook his head at you, muttering something about you being impossible as he caught his keys as the valet threw them to him. He sauntered up to the car, opening the door and gesturing for you to get in. Cheeks hot with anger, you stormed up and got in the car, adjusting your dress as he shut the door and walked around to the driver’s seat.

Just as you predicted, the ride back to the apartments was silent.

You knew what he was doing. He thought this was too dangerous, and he didn’t want you involved. That night in his apartment, you had seen how guarded he was to keep people from getting close. That dance, that had pushed the line and now he was not going to let you get into this mission. Frustration boiled up within you, and halfway through the drive, you finally exploded.

“This is bullshit!” You suddenly exclaimed, and you caught the way Bucky’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.

“We’re not doing this,” He muttered.

“Like hell we aren’t,” You fired back, turning to look at him even if he kept his eyes on the road, “I know why you’re banning me from this mission and I get it, I do. But-”

“You don’t know anything,” Bucky cut in, his voice low and almost menacing.

You laughed without humor, slowly losing your control, “You are impossible, impossible!”

Turning forward again, you raked your hands through your hair, “You are so difficult. One day you’re gonna need someone, and if you keep shoving people that care for you away, you’re gonna have no one!”

The car screeched to a sudden halt.

Your stomach dropped as you looked around the surprisingly quiet street, your heart thudding.

“What are you-”

“Get out.” Bucky gritted.

Your heart sank instantly. You looked over at him in astonishment, your eyes wide, “What?”

“Get. Out.” Bucky repeated, not even looking at you, “Walk home.”

“That’s like four miles from here, and I’m in heels!” You exclaimed. Bucky’s jaw tightened.

“You’re CIA, you’ll figure it out.”

Your heart slammed in your chest, and the words you had spit at him moments prior burned in your chest. You had crossed a line, and you knew it. You felt it, “Bucky, I’m sorry. I–”

“Get out of this car before I pull you out myself.” There was hurt in his eyes, and it made you want to die.

You had both said things to hurt the other, had both wounded each other.

As you stepped out of the car and into the night air, you realized that people could only be hurt by someone who held at least a part of them. And as you shut your door and Bucky peeled away into the night, you felt a piece of you go with him.

Swallowing thickly, you shook your head and pulled out your phone. You were already searching up a ride to take you to your apartment, but you walked as you did it. The cool night air was refreshing in a way, and you let out a long sigh, putting your phone down and looking around at the near-empty streets.

What had gone so wrong?

And so, you decided against calling a ride. Instead, you turned into a nearby, warm-looking bar and sat, drinking away your sorrows and working up the courage to make the long, lonely walk home.

|||

You were within a half-mile of your apartment, and you still hadn’t sorted through the storm in your mind.

All you knew was that this was more than a mission, and it had been for a long while.

“I gave you one job, and you couldn’t even accomplish it. One simple job.”

Your feet stalled, your head suddenly going quiet. You knew that voice. And, as you took one step closer to the alley that it poured out of and peered inside, what you saw confirmed it.

Kingpin.

In your muddled haze of a walk, you’d forgotten that one of Kingpin’s cover businesses was on the way back to your apartment. Now here you were, just around the corner of the mobster himself. Your eyes took in his massive frame hovering over a quivering man. A man that looked awfully familiar…

You managed to stifle your gasp as you recognized it as the man that gave Kingpin up to you and Bucky when he’d broken into Bucky’s apartment.

“I’m s-sorry boss, there was two of ‘em. I was lucky to make it out alive,” The man stammered. Kingpin hummed.

“You’re right, that is lucky,” He grabbed the man by his collar and hoisted him off of his feet, easily holding him in mid-air, “So tell me, what exactly did you give up to them to save yourself?”

“N-nothing boss! I would never give you or the operation up, never! I’m loyal,” The man pleaded.

You should go. You should hurry past and keep walking. But you just couldn’t, not when the man himself was standing right there and he might give up information on the arms deal you’d caught wind of.

Kingpin set the man back onto his feet and smoothed out the man’s collar, “I believe you.”

The man nearly sobbed, “Thank you boss, thank you.”

“But just an insurance policy,” Kingpin said, then motioned with one hand into the darkness of the alley. Two burly guards stepped forward, armed to the teeth.

“Kill him,” Kingpin spoke smoothly, then stepped back and held his hands together as the man begged and pleaded. Your heart thundered in your chest as the gunshot from one of the guards into the man rang through you, making you flinch slightly.

When the job was done, Kingpin walked up to his guards, “Filch reported back from the gala. Said he got the deal moved up to next Saturday. Make sure the streets stay quiet. We can’t let it get out.”

“Sure thing, boss,” The guard nodded.

Next Saturday, that gave you eight days. A smile tugged onto your lips and you were just about to move past the alley when a set of burly, vile hands closed around your shoulders.

“Well look what we’ve got here, a little birdie listening in.” The man purred, and your stomach sank to the floor.

You had to get away, and you had to do it now. You thrashed against the man’s hold, slipping your hand towards where you’d hidden a small but lethal knife. Kingpin couldn’t know that you’d heard. He couldn’t know. Your hand was inches from the knife when another one of Kingpin’s men came around the corner and grabbed your wrists in a bruising grip, yanking them in front of you.

“Hello there, pretty bird,” He greeted, and together the two men began to drag you into the alley. Sudden, blinding panic slammed into you and you knew instantly what you had to do.

If you pulled a weapon and beat the shit out of these guys like you knew you could, Kingpin would know you’d heard him and were someone to be worried about. Your best chance at making it out of this not only alive, but with the deal still set for next Saturday, you had to play dumb. You had to be a regular citizen, an innocent bystander scared of getting mugged.

And so you did.

You turned your anger into fear that wasn’t totally falsified, and you thrashed in the men’s grips.

“Please, let me go!” You begged, “You can take my money, my wallet, anything you want! Please!”

They’d gotten you into the alley by now, and darkness wrapped around you as Kingpin himself heard your cries. He paused, looking back at you and tilting his head curiously. Your pulse thundered so fast that you thought you’d faint.

“What’s going on here?” Kingpin asked, slowly walking up to you, towering over you even when he was a few feet away.

“Caught this pretty lady walking by, looking like she wanted to come say hello,” One of the men presented.

The smell of the alley nearly made you gag, the fabric of your dress already soiled at the bottom from the puddles of unknown liquid. Real fear was pulsing through you, and you let it. You shoved down the instincts drilled into you from your time in the CIA and let yourself be a citizen, a bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Please, you can have my jewelry, my money, anything you want,” You insisted, your eyes filling with tears that weren’t entirely fake.

“We’re not muggers,” Kingpin responded, his tone curious as he took you in, “What are you doing out here all alone, little bird?”

“My Uber canceled on me and I had to walk home from my party, please I don’t know what’s going on!” You trembled out.

Kingpin studied you closely, then tilted his head and said to the men holding you, “Search her,”

Panic was constricting your chest, and you shivered as the men began patting you down. You had to clench your firsts to keep from breaking one of their noses when one stayed a little longer than necessary on your breasts. There was a small breath of relief when they both stood back, having found none of your hidden weapons.

“She’s clean.”

Kingpin cracked a half smile and reached forward. You flinched back as much as the men holding you would allow, but that wasn’t enough. He grabbed ahold of one of your fists, raising it up to inspect. He looked back up at you, his gaze amused.

“You’re angry,” Kingpin mused, a smile ticking onto his lips, “You’ve got more fight in you then you’re letting on.” “Well ladies with fight who are dragged into alleyways don’t usually last long, do they?” You managed out, your eyes daring to meet his. To your surprise, he laughed.

“Let her go, boys. We’ve terrified her enough.”

You almost sobbed in relief when the men holding you let go. It worked. He was letting you go, he didn’t know. He didn’t-

That’s when you made your first and only mistake. You let your eyes travel the alley for a moment. But that moment, no matter how short, was enough. You saw the dead body of the man who had just been shot.

And Kingpin knew it.

He glanced back towards the body, then slowly back to you.

“Oh little bird, why’d you have to go and do that? I was really starting to like you,” He sighed.

Terror like you’d never known gripped you suddenly. Dread, real and cold pierced into your belly. You began to shake your head.

“No, no please I won’t tell anyone. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t-”

His massive hand gripped your jaw, cutting you off. You trembled terribly as he held your jaw and just peered at you, seeming to test you.

Finally, finally, he said, “I believe you.”

You sighed, but barely had a moment to breathe when he repeated those damned words from before, “But just as an insurance policy,”

He stepped back, letting you go and then gesturing to his men.

“Rough her up. Don’t kill her, just show her what’s gonna happen if she does decide to tell,” Kingpin stepped back into the dark alley, a smile starting on his lips, “Which I don’t think she will. Good night, little bird.”

“Wait,” You shook, glanced around at his goons who now surrounded you, “Wait, please,”

You had taken beatings before, you could do this. You could do this.

“Boss’s orders,” One shrugged, then crashed his fist into your jaw.

Then the onslaught began, and you let it happen. You let them beat you, let them kick you so hard you thought ribs cracked, let them bust your lip and bruise your cheek. You could have them all dead in moments, but you let it happen. You’d made it this far without blowing the mission to hell, you couldn’t give yourself away now.

So you stayed there on the alley floor, and you took it.

|||

By the time you finally made it to your apartment and stumbled up the stairs, you could barely stand.

Your head was spinning as you struggled to get your keys into the door. By the time you finally did, you shouldered your way in and didn’t even bother closing the door. You could barely think, barely see, barely feel anything besides the pain.

You’d taken worse beatings, sure, but it didn’t make this one hurt any less. Your breathing was labored as each breath made shooting pain pierce through your rib cage. Your dress was ripped and bloody and covered in filth from the alley floor. All you could taste was blood from the lip one of the men had split, and you were sure that if anyone were to see you, you’d look more like a walking corpse than anything else.

You stumbled over to your kitchen bar, gripping onto the surface for stability as you dropped your phone and clutch onto it. Your legs trembled from the effort of standing, and you didn’t even bother to switch the light on considering that would require more walking. All you wanted was to gather your strength, make it to your bathroom, and get all of this blood off of you.

Then you’d sleep for as long as your body would let you.

At least, that was the plan until there was a knock on your slightly open door.

You didn’t even have the strength to speak as the person pushed open the door and walked a few steps into your dark, silent apartment.

“Y/N, I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but…” Bucky paused, and the sound of his voice nearly made you sob. More than anything, more than even a bath or sleep, you wanted him to hold you. You were too tired to question the impulse.

Bucky sighed, and you could practically hear the indecision in his tone, “I turned around as soon as I forced you out, but I couldn’t find you. I’ve been pacing the entire night waiting for you to come back. I overreacted and…and I’m sorry.”

He’d gone back for you. He’d looked for you.

Your heart burned, and tears you didn’t fight worsened your already blurry vision.

You wanted to turn and run to him, you wanted to hold him and tell him that it was alright, that you were sorry too. But you couldn’t. If you let go of this counter, you’d collapse, and you knew that if you hit this floor, you weren’t getting back up tonight.

“You were just trying to help me, and I have such a hard time taking help and an even harder time letting people in and,” Bucky stopped with a sigh, cutting off his rant, “I’m stumbling through this, could you please just turn around and say something?”

If you weren’t on the brink of passing out, you’d laugh.

Bucky let out a frustrated huff, “I’m apologizing here, are you even listening?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but blood came out instead and you let out a short cough.

“Fine,” Bucky gritted, clearly trying to hold back his emotion, “I’ll just…leave you be.”

Panic disrupted your pain and you managed to brace your weight with one hand on the counter and turn towards where Bucky was already walking towards your door. He couldn’t leave. You needed him.

“Bucky,” You strangled out, your voice exhausted, “W-wait,”

Bucky froze, his gaze turning back to you with his brows furrowed. That’s when the light of the hallway broke upon you, and his eyes widened in horror as he saw the blood and dirt and bruises.

You heard him say your name like a vow, but then the world began to spin and you were collapsing.

You barely felt the thud of the floor as you slammed against it, your body bloody and broken and giving up for the night. You heard the pounding of footsteps, felt the floor tremble as Bucky slid to his knees beside you. His hands were so gentle, so heart-breakingly gentle, as he lightly touched your bruised cheek. You watched through a blurred gaze as he kneeled over you, his jaw tight and his eyes wild.

“You’re okay, doll, I got you. I got you,” Bucky promised, ever so tenderly pulling your broken body into his lap. He cradled your head with his hand, his eyes sweeping over you to take in the extent of your injuries.

“Shit,” He swore, shaking his head, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”

“Not your fault,” You managed, a tear slipping down your cheek.

Bucky shook his head, his jaw clenched so tight that you saw his muscles ticking. His breaths were shallow as he caressed a finger down your cheek before gathering you in his arms as gently as he could. You groaned in pain as he stood, holding you close to himself with ease. But even despite the pain, he was holding you, and that was something you never thought you’d feel again.

“I know baby, I know,” He whispered, his words soothing you through the pain. He carried you out of your apartment, careful to close the door before carrying you into his place. You felt your consciousness slipping now that you were safe. You actually had never felt safer than when you were here, in his arms.

Bucky set you down on his counter, the cool material taking the edge off of the aching of your body. Before he could clean you up or bandage anything, Bucky stood close to you, his hand staying on your cheek. You leaned into it, knowing you wouldn’t have if you weren’t half-asleep right now.

“Doll, I need you to look at me,” Bucky urged, a cold, ferocious tone to his voice that you didn’t think was for you. You managed to pry your eyes open and clash your gaze with his. In it was a cold fury, “Who did this to you?”

“Kingpin’s men,” You mumbled, and Bucky stiffened, “I caught…word of the deal, but he…he saw me. Only way to…to not blow it was to…to-”

“Play the bystander,” Bucky finished for you, and you nodded. Bucky shook his head, “You stupid, brave girl.”

You managed a smile, but the movement pulled at the split in your lip and made you wince.

“You can sleep now, doll. I’ve got you,” Bucky whispered. You nodded, letting your eyes flutter closed. You felt his hand caress your cheek, his fingers lingering on your skin.

Then, in the near dark of sleep, Bucky let out a defeated sigh.

“Oh darling,” He sighed, then there was a press of a kiss to your brow and whispered words against your skin, “How the hell am I supposed to let you go when this is all over?”

|||

“Bucky?”

Your voice rang through Bucky’s apartment, amusement heavy in your tone. He hummed in response, his back to you as he slaved away at his small stove.

Before you already sat a fresh coffee, eggs, toast, and fruit. You couldn’t help but smile. The movement pulled at your healing lip, but it didn’t hurt anymore.

“It’s been two days. You don’t have to keep apologizing,” You called out. Bucky turned around to you, holding a pan in one hand.

“I’m just making breakfast,” He tried, but you just raised an eyebrow at him. With a sigh, Bucky set down the pan, and walked over to the counter, settling his hands down on the other side of where you sat.

“Y/N, you didn’t see what I did that night,” Bucky mumbled, not meeting your gaze, “If you could have seen how you looked, all that blood…”

Your heart strung in your chest. You slept nearly an entire day after the incident, and then spent the next day being fussed over by Bucky. You had a few bruised ribs and some nasty shiners, but nothing serious luckily. In all that time, the two of you had avoided the subject of that night besides the both of you apologizing to the other profusely.

“Buck, listen to me,” You whispered, his pained gaze finally rising to yours, “That was a heated night, we both did and said things we didn’t mean. We apologized for that, it’s behind us. But what happened to me in that alley,”

You paused hesitating only a moment before you threw caution to the wind and reached across the counter, grabbing his hand. His metal hand. His eyes widened a fraction and something changed in his gaze, something that made your heart miss a step.

“What happened to me in that alley was not your fault. That one was all me,” You insisted. Bucky squeezed your hand, the cool metal soothing your skin.

“But if I had just kept you in the car, if I hadn’t overreacted like that-”

“Then we wouldn’t know when the deal was going down,” You reasoned, “And if I were you, I would have kicked me out of the car too.”

Bucky let out a low laugh, shaking his head. His thumb ran across your skin absentmindedly, making your mind muddle, “Fine.”

You raised your eyebrows, a smile dancing on your lips “So does that mean we can move on? Not that I mind you making me breakfast.”

“Don’t push your luck, doll,” Bucky warned, a smile tugging at his lips. Letting go of your hand, he walked around the counter and into his living room, walking over to his coffee table where two files sat. You swiveled around on the barstool, watching him curiously.

As if he felt your gaze, Bucky spoke again, “While you were getting your beauty sleep in, I found where the arms deal is going down. So, if we’re gonna crash that party, we better start planning.”

A thrill went through you, and you sat up straighter. You watched as he turned and walked back to you with the files in his hand. Sure enough, he handed you one of them. You opened the front, seeing the page filled with information on Kingpin, his empire, and the arms deal. You looked up at Bucky with wide, bright eyes.

“We?” You taunted. Bucky rolled his eyes, grabbing the front of your file.

“I can still take this back,” He warned. You smiled, pulling it back towards you and out of his grasp. His grumpy demeanor didn’t scare you, nor did it frustrate you like it did before.

“Too late,” You said sweetly, looking up at him as he stood before your seated frame. He shook his head at you, a half smile he tried to hide on his lips as he stepped back.

“Alright CIA,” Bucky announced, flipping open his file, “Show me what you got.”

|||

It was Saturday night, and the air was thick with anticipation.

You and Bucky sat in his car, staking out the trainyard where the arms deal was set to be going down. The walkie set before you crackled to life.

“How’s it looking?” Sam Wilson asked. You smiled at the sound of his voice, happy to have him here. Once you briefed him on what was happening, he just had to have a piece of it.

“Nothing so far,” You replied, your eyes sweeping across the darkened yard packed with parked trains, “We’ve still got some time, though.”

“I have RedWing watching from the skies, so I’ll keep you posted,” Sam informed.

“I hate that damn thing,” Bucky grumbled. You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing.

“What was that?” Sam asked.

“Nothing,” You answered, putting your hand over Bucky’s mouth just as he’s about to repeat his statement, “Tell RedWing we said thank you!”

As soon as the radio went quiet, Bucky pulled off your hand, staring at you in indignation.

“You are getting too comfortable with me,” He gritted. You shrugged, trying not to look too smug.

“Someone’s gotta keep you in line,” You quipped. Bucky was grumbling under his breath about something, and you were just about to ask him about it when something caught your eye in the distance. You sat up, pointing towards the left side of the yard.

“There,” You announced, your tone serious, “You see it?”

Bucky leaned forward, following the direction you were pointing. He nodded, reaching forward and grabbing the walkie.

“Sam, two SUVs rolling in. You got ‘em?”

“I see them,” Sam responded, his voice all business, “Looks like it's the dealers. The weapons are probably stashed in one of the train cars somewhere. I’ll run a scan, you guys get out there.”

“Will do, comms going in,” Bucky replied.

The two of you slipped the comm links into your ears, checking your respective guns before exiting the car. You both jogged towards the first train car parked in the massive yard, getting cover as fast as possible.

“Be advised, the dealers have associates fanning out through the trainyard.” Sam’s voice crackled through the comm.

“Copy,” You spoke softly, your back pressed against the train, “We’ll take care of it.”

Looking over to Bucky, you nodded once at him before he led the way, gun raised as he cleared the corner. The two of you worked systematically through the yard. Sweeping out slowly in search of the associates. This place was a maze, making it ideal for deals like this. If you wanted a chance at taking the op down, you had to get these guards out.

You and Bucky paused at a break in the train, and this time you led as you inched forward and checked the corner. Seeing a guard standing watch at the corner, you pulled back and looked at Bucky. Without even having to say a word, you and Bucky worked together as if you’d been doing it for years.

You crouched down, holstering your gun and slipping out a knife. You took a beat to breathe before you slid forward, around the corner. The noise made the guard swivel her head, but she made the mistake of not looking down. With the deadly sharp knife, you made it to her feet before she noticed you.

Then, you whistled. A quiet, simple tone. With furrowed brows, she looked down to see you, crouched by her feet with a knife. Her brows rose and she opened her mouth to alert someone, but Bucky was on her, his hand around her mouth. That’s when you struck, slicing the tendon at the back of her heel.

Bucky’s hand muffled her scream as she dropped, and you stood in response, landing a killer blow across her temple and knocking her out. When the scuffle was over, the trainyard was silent. With a breathless smile, you looked up to Bucky.

“We make a pretty good team,” You whispered. He shot you a pointed look.

“I don’t do teams.”

You followed him as walked past the downed guard, a smirk tugging at your lips, “That’s right. You’re a lone wolf.”

Bucky stopped in his gait, nearly making you run into him. He turned and shot a glare at you, one that let you know you were getting under his skin. You held your hands up, showing him you were backing off the subject. He shook his head at you and kept walking.

“You do make a good team,” Sam intervened, making you smile triumphantly.

“Sam, I swear-” Bucky began, but you darted up, covering his mouth with your hand to silence him. He saw the guard rounding the corner a second after you did. Luckily, the guard hadn’t seen you.

Not yet, at least.

Thinking quickly, Bucky grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you up into the opening of a nearby, darkened train car. You landed inside silently and turned, waiting for Bucky who jumped in a second later. Swiveling his gaze around, he noticed the same problem you did.

The car was full of weapons. The weapons.

Not only did this endanger the both of you should the deal start soon, it also left little room for you to hide. Bucky solved that issue swiftly as he turned and urged you against a stack of explosives, his body pressed against yours instantly, caging you into the darkness and making sure the two of you were invisible.

Or, you realized with a start, making sure you were invisible.

You could see just far enough to look up and see Bucky peering down at you. His body was against yours, and his face was so near to yours that you could move half an inch and your lips would be touching. His pine and whiskey scent washed over you, intoxicating you, making you forget for a moment where you were.

Bucky seemed to do the same as his hand moved from beside your hand and he swept a thumb against your cheek. Lightning scattered across your skin where he touched, and you nearly forgot how to breathe.

You wanted to kiss him. You needed to kiss him.

Bucky’s eyes were darting between your lips and gaze, and your heart thundered in your chest. You were sure he could feel it with your bodies pressed so tightly together, and the uptick of the edge of his lips told you he did. Your lips itched in anticipation, burning even as they were kept apart from his.

Bucky’s hand moved from your cheek down to rest against your throat, just as it did that day in your kitchen all those months ago. You knew that he did it to get a better feel of your pulse, and your cheeks heated in response. His lips were nearly touching yours and his hand was on your neck and you thought you might faint.

He was totally in control of you, and he knew it.

With a half-smirk that made your knees nearly buckle he whispered, “Do I always make you this nervous?”

You wanted to banter back, to shoot a petty insult at him, but you couldn’t think of anything but his lips on yours. You wanted it so badly, and you could tell Bucky did too because the hand that wasn’t on your throat was clenched tightly, as if he was restraining himself. You nudged your chin up a fraction, stopping just short of his lips, leaving the decision up to him. Bucky moved, and when his lips were almost touching yours-

“I found the weapons,” Sam’s voice poured out of RedWing, who sat hovering right in front of you and Bucky.

You and Bucky jolted apart, the coast clear from the guard and the both of you coughing or clearing your throat.

“What?” Sam asked, his tone taunting, “Did I interrupt something?”

“Sam, if RedWing doesn’t fly away I’m gonna break it,” Bucky threatened lowly.

“What, are you mad that he’s c-”

Bucky lunged for RedWing, who turned and flew away just in time. You couldn’t help but smile, struggling to hold in your laughter as Bucky turned and shook his head, clearly wound up. When he saw the look on his face he pointed a finger in your direction.

“Not a word,” He commanded.

“Yes sir,” You teased, shoving his shoulder lightly as you passed him to inspect the weapons. What you missed as you peered into the weapons crates was the way Bucky smiled at you as you passed, a real smile unlike any of the one’s he’d given since the 40’s.

“Look at all this,” You breathed, inspecting box after box of weapons of all sorts.

“And there’s at least six more cars just like it,” Sam informed over the comm. You shook your head, picking up a rather nasty looking bomb.

“We better get a move on, Kingpin’s bound to be here at any moment.” Your words caught Bucky’s attention and he nodded, walking towards the opening of the train car and hopping out. Wordlessly, you followed. As you jumped out of the car, Bucky grabbed you by the hips and slowed down your descent, setting you safely on the ground. His hands burned on your waist, and that tension from before returned in full force.

“I had that, you know,” You informed, raising a brow at him. He just smirked.

“I know.”

Then let you go and walk away, finally letting you take in a breath. As you followed him, you shook your head.

This was going to be a long night.

|||

It took twenty more minutes for you and Bucky to clear out the guards without any of them reporting back a disturbance.

And, right on time, Kingpin and his men showed up

You watched as the massive, hulking man sauntered up to the center of the trainyard where the dealers, led by the woman from the gala, stood waiting. You stood pressed against a train nearby with Bucky against the one across from you. Overhead, Sam was waiting for your signal to move in.

It would be your job to make sure the SWAT team rolling up outside had enough time to infiltrate and secure the weapons that they could. In the meantime, you, Bucky, and Sam would ambush the deal, taking out as many operatives as you could and securing Kingpin and the Dealer.

But right now, your mind wasn’t on the plan. No, you were stuck staring at the goons who waltzed up with Kingpin. You recognized three of them as the men who pummeled you that night after the gala. Noticing your clenched jaw, Bucky followed your gaze to the men. Understanding broke over him and you glanced over to see a certain fury flood his gaze. He looked back to you, his gaze clashing with yours.

“Which ones?” Was all he whispered, low enough so he couldn’t be heard by anyone except for the comm link. You heard the edge in his voice, and maybe it was wrong, but you loved it.

“The two on his right and second to the left.”

Bucky nodded, staring down the three men. He looked back to you, “You want them?”

A smile ghosted your lips. You could see the restraint in the way his shoulders were held tensely and the whitening of his knuckles on his gun. He wanted them, but he wanted you to have the choice first.

And you fell in love, right there. It began with the dance, but it was done now. There was no going back.

“Share?” You offered, and Bucky’s lips tipped up in a smile.

The two of you turned your attention back to the deal, straining enough to hear the conversation flowing from Kingpin and the Dealer who met in the middle.

“I’m not seeing my weapons,” Kingpin noted, his hands clasped before him. The woman smiled.

“The money first. Then you’ll get your weapons.”

Your hands tightened around your gun, waiting for Kingpin’s next move. He surveyed the Dealer before nodding, turning back to his man and motioning. That was it, this was your chance.

“Now,” You whispered, and instantly the sound of bullets from somewhere to the right blasted through the air.

Sam’s distraction.

The Dealer and Kingpin snapped their gazes towards the sound.

“What the hell-”

That’s when you and Bucky swept in, guns raised and bullets flying before the group knew what was happening. Chaos broke out, but every time someone strayed from the center to flee into the trains, Sam was there to guide them back.

The scene was a flurry of bullets and knives, of yelling and screams, but in the end it was you and Bucky who were left standing amongst the group of downed guards. Of course, there were a few left standing besides Kingpin and the Dealer, one of which happened to be one of the men who beat the shit out of you after the gala.

You did not miss how one of the other men who’d beat you wasn’t just unconscious nearby, but his neck was twisted at a wrong angle with Bucky standing nearby. The last of three was lying somewhere in the mess, shot and bleeding out.

Silence settled over the scene as Sam slammed down on the top of one of the train cars, gun raised. Bucky stood by the Dealer, and you by Kingpin. The two criminals stood silently, their hands raised in submission.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” You announced, keeping your gun pointed at Kingpin. He snapped his gaze to you, and surprise flickered through it followed by a sort of…admiration that made your skin crawl, “A SWAT team is closing in on the weapons now, so the two of you are going to call off anyone else you have stationed and come with us, without a fight preferably.”

“Little bird,” Kingpin greeted, making your pulse spike. You didn’t want to look at him, but you did anyway, and you hated the way you shook as you did, “It’s not often I’m surprised, but I gotta say, you’ve got me speechless here.”

You gritted your teeth, but it was Bucky who called out “Clearly not speechless enough,”

Kingpin laughed, seeming almost at ease. He started to lower his hands and you took a step closer, your gun held strong before you.

“Keep your hands where I can see them!” You ordered.

“Okay, okay,” Kingpin complied, raising his hands up, “But I just want to say, you really shoulda thought this out more.”

You furrowed your brows, “Wh-”

You couldn’t even get the words out when three of the nearby train car doors slid open, and guards poured out. Your heart shot into your throat, and you didn’t even have the chance to shoot when twenty guns were pointed at you and twenty more at Bucky. You shot a nervous glance towards Bucky, who shared the same look.

“Sam, go,” You whispered, and he flew off without another word. He needed to get the SWAT team in here now, or you and Bucky wouldn’t make it long. On the bidding of Kingpin’s army, you and Bucky set your guns down slowly.

“Alright,” Kingpin announced, sighing as if this were just another Saturday night, “Now here’s what’s really gonna happen.”

He walked up to you, and off to the side you saw Bucky immediately lunge forward towards him. He couldn’t make it far before Kingpin pulled out a gun of his own and pointed it at your head.

Bucky froze.

“Leave her alone,” Bucky ordered, his voice dark and menacing.

“Now it’s getting fun,” Kingpin mused, ignoring Bucky completely and stepping closer to you. You clenched your fists to hide the way they shook.

“You’re gonna hop up to this train car here and get my weapons out, make sure they’re what I wanted. Then, you’re gonna call off the SWAT team, and we’re gonna walk out of here,” Kingpin said simply.

“Not happening,” You gritted out.

“Funny, I don’t remember giving you a choice,” Kingpin sighed before grabbing your arm and looking to the dealer, “Which one has the weapons?”

She smirked, pointed at the train car nearby Bucky. It was torture to be dragged past him and not be able to touch him. Not for lack of trying, either. As you went by, he made a break for you, shouting your name. It took eight men to restrain him.

Eight men, that’s how many it took to hold him steady.

And, you figured he was holding back since there was a gun to your head.

“Oh, and package the soldier up. I want to have a few…words with him later.” Kingpin ordered, and panic blinded you. You reared back helplessly, struggling against his iron grip as you had to watch the men try to subdue Bucky and get him into handcuffs.

Your panicked gaze met his, and all you could do was pray Sam was close with the SWAT team. You couldn’t rely on that, though. Kingpin was going to kill you and then Bucky.

You could die, so long as Bucky didn’t.

A plan began to spin in your head as Kingpin shoved you up into the train car.

“Now, grab a gun from in there and show it to me,” Kingpin ordered, but then gave you a knowing smile, “And don’t try anything, or I’ll have a bullet in your boyfriend’s head.”

“On our way!” Sam called through the comm, but you were running out of time. The men were already hauling away Bucky, and you had to act fast.

Turning into the dark train car full of weapons, you tried to lift a box and pretended to fail. Turning to look down at Kingpin, who still stood on the ground, you gritted, “I can’t get it. It’s too heavy.”

Maybe it was his built-in trust of you from your encounter that night after the gala, or maybe it was because he thought you were under too much emotional duress, but he believed you.

He bought it, and he hauled himself into the train car for everyone to see.

“You better not be-”

Before he could speak again or anyone could react, you’d pulled the bomb you picked earlier off of your belt and pulled the pick. Gasps and shouts rang out through the yard as you held the live explosive in your hand and made sure you stood between Kingpin and the exit of the train car.

“Y/N NO!” Bucky shouted, his voice cracking. With a bare pull of his arms, the cuffs on his wrists snapped and he made a move for you.

A handful of guns were pressed into Bucky’s head, stopping him cold. In response, you held the motion-induced explosive tighter and pushed it further towards Kingpin, who had backed as far as he could against a stack of crates. Terror was clear across his face, which brought a sick sort of delight.

“You shoot him, and I drop it,” You announced, and once again the yard plunged into silence.

Anyone who could see the situation knew you had the upper hand. If anyone killed you, the bomb would hit the ground and kill Kingpin. If Kingpin tried anything on you, you’d drop the bomb and kill the both of you. You were locked in a stalemate, and now you were going to win.

“Now, put your guns down.” Your voice rang through the trainyard, but no one acted. You lifted your brows and nodded, turning your head towards Kingpin. Panic flared in his eyes and he shouted, “GUNS DOWN! Put your damn guns down!”

You turned your head and watched as everyone did as they were told. Your eyes snagged on Bucky, who had a desperate look on his face. He shook his head, but you ignored his silent pleas.

“You, the Dealer and all your forces are going to stand down. You’re going to wait patiently for SWAT to get here,” You lifted your chin, “Or I’ll drop this and we both go.”

“You wouldn’t,” Kingpin stuttered.

“You really want to call my bluff? Go ahead, end your criminal empire in one moment of stupidity,” You dared.

Kingpin took a moment to survey your gaze before he shook his head, “You’re crazy.”

You didn’t miss a beat.

“The things you do for love.”

That’s when you heard the rustling of gear and looked over to see the SWAT team storming in, guns raised and shouting at the Dealer and all of the assorted criminals throughout the yard. Taking in a trembling breath, you looked back at Kingpin.

“Game over, little bird,” You lifted your chin, and Kingpin’s eyes flared.

“This isn’t over,” He assured.

“Sure it isn’t,” You replied easily. Well, as easily as you could with a live bomb in your grasp.

You heard the clanging of the train car and looked over to see Bucky inside, his eyes deadly and his jaw clenched tightly as he grabbed Kingpin.

“Out,” Bucky growled, throwing him to the ground outside. Officers were on him instantly, but Bucky wasn’t paying attention, instead, he was on you.

“Bucky, stay-” You warned with a trembling voice, stepping back to keep the bomb from him. Bucky wasn’t listening to you, though, He cut you off and cupped your cheeks.

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have died!” Bucky nearly shouted, but you didn’t miss the way his voice shook.

“He was going to take you, and I couldn’t let him do that,” You whispered, tears gathering in your eyes.

“So you pulled a bomb on him?” Bucky pushed. A tear slipped down your cheek and Bucky wiped it away, shaking his head at you, “Don’t ever do that again, don’t ever risk your life like that for me again.”

“No promises.” Your voice was trembling badly, and your hand was clenched so tightly around the bomb that your fingers hurt, “Bucky, I’m scared.”

You heard Sam call for a bomb squad in the distance, but you didn’t tear your gaze from Bucky. He pressed his forehead to yours, “I know, baby. But you’re gonna be alright.”

“What if I drop it?” You whispered, only allowing your fear to be heard and seen from Bucky.

“You’re not gonna drop it,” Bucky assured, reaching forward and holding the explosive over your hand.

Buck, don’t-”

He held fast, closing both of his hands around yours and the bomb, “You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you.”

“Sam, how long on that bomb squad?” You called out, another rogue tear burning down your cheek.

“They should be here any minute.” Sam’s reply made the tension in your chest ease slightly, and as if on command, the bomb squad came running up to the train car.

Bucky’s hands were solid around yours, and his gaze was unflinching and unafraid. He had you. That thought made your heart rate slow. He had you, he had you.

“So what do you have here?” A lady asked, jogging up and hopping into the train car, looking down at the explosive. She hummed, nodding before reaching into her kit. You looked down to watch her work, new fear ripping through you.

“No, just look at me,” Bucky ordered, making your gaze snap up to his. You nodded, doing your best to hold his gaze as the woman worked on the bomb.

“You’ve got pretty eyes,” You murmured, the fear making your inhibitions lowered, “I don’t think I ever told you that.”

Bucky’s lips edged up into a smile, “Well, I figured you thought so considering how fast your heart was beating in that train car a few minutes ago. Or were you thinking about something other than my eyes?”

His charm worked perfectly, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Look at us,” You mused, glancing down at the bomb for a moment before looking back up to Bucky, “A few months ago you wanted to kill me, and now we’re holding a bomb I pulled to save your ass, again.”

“No, I still want to kill you sometimes,” Bucky amended, but the words held no merit.

“Alright,” The bomb squad lady said, grabbing onto the underside of the bomb, “You can let it go now. I’ve got it.”

Your smile faded and you locked your gaze with Bucky’s again. He pulled one of his hands off and your grip on the explosive tightened. You shook your head slightly.

“It’s okay,” He murmured, nodding to you, “Let it go.”

Bucky slid his hand that was left on the bomb to yours, intertwining your fingers and slowly pulling your hand off. Before you knew it, Bucky had managed to pull your hand off the grenade. In its stead, Bucky held your hand tightly, pulling you instantly into his chest.

You let out a shuddering sigh of relief, leaning your head on Bucky’s shoulder. Slowly he pulled back, keeping your hand in his, “Come on, let’s go.”

You nodded, your fear ebbing as the two of you jumped down from the train car. In an instant, Sam was at the two of you, nearly knocking you over with a hug. You laughed, letting go of Bucky’s hand and hugging Sam back.

“You are insane!” Sam exclaimed, letting go of you and shaking his head, “Absolutely insane.”

You smiled, “Thanks,”

Sam laughed, shaking his head as he walked over to Bucky, “So not a compliment.”

After he checked in with Bucky he turned and faced the two of you.

“Good work, guys. Glad to see you’re not killing each other here.”

“Yet,” You and Bucky happened to say at the same time.

Sam smiled, “I better be off, I’ve got a mission I left to help out here.” Pausing, he looked over to you and gestured to Bucky, “Take care of him?”

You smiled, nodding, “Always.”

The two of you said your goodbyes as Sam turned and flew off. With a long sigh, you turned and began to make your way back to Bucky’s car.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I could go for some food right now.” You announced.

“Wait,” Bucky stopped you, grabbing your arm and pulling you around to face him, “What you said back there to Kingpin…did you mean it?”

For a moment, you considered playing dumb and asking what he meant. But you knew what he meant, and he knew you did. You had inadvertently said that you loved him, and because of the bomb situation you almost thought you’d make it out without having to confront it.

You held Bucky’s gaze that was searing into you, and suddenly you were overcome with that same sensation to kiss him as before. With him standing this close to you and after what you’d just been through together, it took all of your strength to hold back. The tension in the air between the two of you as he waited for your response was maddening.

“Well, I did nearly blow myself up for you so take that as you-”

“You are infuriating,” Bucky huffed, tugging you closer so that your body was flush against his. Your joking ended immediately, your pulse flickering wildly as his lips danced just out of reach of yours. His blue eyes were dark as he stared down at you, each of you daring the other to make the first move.

Your lips brushed against his as you spoke into the silence, “I meant it.”

And then his lips were on yours. His arm was around your waist, pulling you tight as his other tangled into your hair. This kiss had been brewing for months, and you could feel it. Lightning danced across your skin as he kissed you desperately, in a way that made your arms tighten around his neck to keep yourself from falling. He nipped at your bottom lip softly, then pulled away and moved to hold your face in his hands.

For a long while, Bucky just stared at you with a soft smile playing on his lips. You smiled, still dazed from the kiss.

“What?” You asked.

He ran a thumb across your cheek tenderly, “I was just trying to think back to when things changed between us. But…but I think I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.”

Your smile widened and you surged forward, kissing him again. Pulling back, you gazed up at him with an amused glint in your eyes.

“And when you were choking me in my kitchen, threatening to kill me, that was you showing your love for me?” You asked.

Bucky’s grin turned suave and playful as he threw his arm across your shoulders and walked with you towards his car, “Well, you seemed to like it enough in that train car.”

Your cheeks heated and you scoffed, slapping his muscled chest as the two of you walked.

“Jerk,” You laughed out, and he held you closer to him with a smile.

“I love you too.”

#angst #fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x fem!reader #the winter soldier #fatws bucky #angst oneshot #sam wilson #enemies to lovers

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graciegoeskrazy · 2 years

Text

not my first rodeo

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Teen!reader

word count: ~630

content/warnings: death scare, HYDRA(lol)

AN: heya. Inspo struck so here you go. Idk if i like it honestly but here u go. enjoy to the best of your abilities.

The news hit hard. All you could do was panic as the words fell from Steve’s lips. There was no way this could happen. There was no way he could leave you like this. You couldn't live without him. Bucky was practically your father, maybe not by blood, but by heart, and as far as he thinks, that is much more important. He loved you more than anyone else could. Both of you were HYDRA’s pets. Seen as nothing but things to be used to their advantage. He was determined to give you a life outside of HYDRA. A good life- a normal one. Living with the Avengers and having a super soldier as a father wasn’t necessarily “normal”, but it was your life, and you were forever indebted to bucky for giving it to you. He saved your life, and you praised yourself you would always do the same for him.

You left Steve in the large lounge room where you had resided and ran straight to the elevator. The ride to the med bay seemed to be going at a snail's pace. The dings that sounded on every floor started to test your patience. Once the door slid open, you ran as fast as your legs could carry you toward your father.

“Bucky?!” Once you slid into the room, you spotted Bruce in a lab coat, probably running some kind of test. He spotted you and gave you a somber look, feeling bad for your worrying. You however could only register the look as a bad sign. “Where is he?!” Before Bruce could answer, a familiar voice sounded in the room, “In here doll.” You ran into the room next door and were met with the tired eyes of your father. You barely took in his appearance. You tackled him into a hug which took him back. “Woah, doll. You alright?” Your eyes went wide as you still clung to him. “Are you kidding me?! Are you okay?!” He let out a slight chuckle. “Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

He can’t be serious.

“YOU WERE STABBED GOD DAMN IT! HOW ARE YOU OKAY?!”

He slowly started to peel away from you. “Woah, hold on, y/n. Take a breather.” As his gaze fell on you he took note of the worry and tears painted all over it. “Sit down and breathe will you?”

You sat beside him. He used his not-stabbed arm to wipe away some of your tears and push some hair out of your face as you calmed down. “There’s my pretty girl.” He said with a small smile which you returned as well. It took a second for your breathing to even out. “Why are you so worked up, my love?” You swallowed, trying to speak without having another breakdown. “Steve said you were stabbed in the shoulder and arm! It scared me so I came down here to find you!” Bucky started laughing a little.

“Hey! Don’t laugh. I thought you were gonna die.” He sighed, “y/n, it's the metal arm.”

Ohhhhhhhhhh

“Whoops.” was all you could say before you both burst out into laughter. “But what about your shoulder?!” He sighed, “Yeah they got me there, but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before. Plus, I got Bruce over there helping me out. I’ll be fine before you know it. Your eyes wandered down as more sad thoughts consumed your mind. “Hey, don’t make that sad face. I’m not dying or anything, okay?” You shrugged. “Steve made it sound like you were.”

“No, I didn't! You didn't let me finish my sentence!” he said from the other room. You both laughed. “Nothing that can’t be fixed. Don’t worry so much, will you?” He said as he brushed your hair with his working arm. “Whatever.”

#bucky barnes x teen!reader #bucky barnes #sebastian stan x daughter!reader #sebastian stan #bucky barnes x daughter!reader #marvel #sebastian stan x teen!reader #x daughter!reader #aesthetic #music

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scoonsalicious · 5 months

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Mother Pookie, i can’t believe you did it!! THE UNWANTED SERIES HAS FINALLY COME TO AN END (well we still have some naughty naughty smutshots but still it’s the end of the main story!!!)😫😫🩷🩷😭😭

The ending brought me to tears! BUT DAYYUM, hornayy pocket?!😏 on the balcony?!😏😏 mhmmmmmmmm (plus both of them r so cute!! calling eachother baby, honey kyaaa!! its so sweet that ants are crawling into my phone)

real footage of bucky on a conquest to defile their apartment (from the kitchen to the bathroom to the stairs to the balcony to the living room to the open yard to the roof, on the kitchen counter on the floor on the table on the couch on the bed on the tub on the wall, in front of steve, sideways, frontways, backways, downways, backways, everyways)

Chapter 29 is sooooo gooood. The talk is everything, and the last revelation/betrayal?! I KNEW IT. STEVE YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I TOLD YOU TO BACK THE FUCK OFF.

The audacity for him to question why Pocket forgive Buckbaby but not him? U R THE PROBLEM STEVE?! DON U GET IT? If it weren’t for you, ALL of this wouldn’t happened. She lost Buckybaby because of you, she lost her actual unborn baby because of you, she lost to her spiral BECAUSE of YOU! That fucking bastard. Do you know how fucked up it is? (flashing back to the chapter he almost slept with pocket). Steve thinks too highly of himself. All he ever did was for himself, not Pocket. Selfish. FULL. STOP.

His reason was because Bucky apparently in the 40s never been in a long-lasting relationship? That he’s (buckbaby) gonna get bored. FFS. THAT IS NOT UP FOR YOU TO DECIDE AND CONTROL. What a jerk. And then fantasising to be the ✨‘knight in shining armour’✨? RIDDICULUS. (even then he’s using Bucky as a reason and not himself, point — selfish)

He never respect their relationship. CAP. He’s a douche friend. I take back all of my words that I love his action (because he didn’t pounce on Pocket by listening to her rant) I DON’T (i can’t believe i was being optimistic at this dude😭) Now it makes soooo much sense why he’s guilty (and not pouncing at her). Why he acts like a ‘goody two shoes’, in front Pocket, thinking it will make her ‘loves’ him. He’s holding himself, again, not for her, but for himself. For his wants. That’s why he didn’t want Bucky to replaced Sammy because he wanted to be her knight in shining armour. (plus the thought of the couple getting back together must’ve crossed his mind, he fears that, but he hoped, he hopes onto the fact which he didn’t know the story fully that Bucky fucked cuntsy, a factor he could use to convince himself that he had a chance with pocket and use it as a reason, again, selfish, ANOTHER DELUSIONAL)

And his apology… man it was sooooo… bland. No remorse. None. Zero. Nada. It’s like he’s not even putting an effort to be guilty. He thought apologising would make Pocket change her mind and forgive him (igniting the hope inside him that he has a chance with her, being her knight in shining armour again), BUT HE THOUGHT WRONG. Sucks to be you Steve.

STEVE IS A BAD FRIEND I REPEAT STEVE IS A BAD FRIEND. HE IS DELUSIONAL. ANOTHER DELUSIONAL IN THE GROUP.

It has been such a ride, waking up early in the morning to read this amazing series, critically thinking theories and cursing at cunthage, steve and at some point buckbaby. Also crying to myself because i don’t have a bucky barnes to hold me😂. Thank you thank you thank you for having me as your reader and replying to my overdramatic messages😂 I am a bucky barnes girl, i can’t get mad at him, he’s everything (he’s at fault, im not defending him, but that’s what make him even more lovable, the fact that he has flaws and trying hard to fix himself, he deserve to be happy, and like what Pocket therapist said, don’t think back about the past, what important is the present and future)

I love Pocket, I love Bucky, and I love you Mother Pookie.🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

I can’t wait for WFLT, those smutshots and other projects you’re planning in the future.🩷🩷🩷

Hi, Pookie!

I know! I can't believe we're here at the end! Or, rather, the end of this chapter of Bucky and Pocket's story. I have so much more planned. I really do.

Of COURSE Pocket is horny AF; it's literally be a year since she and Bucky had sex and she. is. tired. of. it! She is severely lacking in Vitamin D and it is affecting her health, lol. Heavy deficiency over here. Like, it's adorable they're being sweet with each other, but she is ready for some spice, iykwim. I also think she's so hazed with horny that it completely slipped her mind that Tony would 100% be able to see her have sex with Bucky on the balcony, lol. Poor man doesn't need the trauma.

Speaking of sweet: Please watch your phone and make sure to clean it extensively from all the sweetness, lol.

Okay, this--?

"real footage of bucky on a conquest to defile their apartment (from the kitchen to the bathroom to the stairs to the balcony to the living room to the open yard to the roof, on the kitchen counter on the floor on the table on the couch on the bed on the tub on the wall, in front of steve, sideways, frontways, backways, downways, backways, everyways)"

Had me CACKLING, and completely reminded me of this, which then caused me to go down a Jimmy Kimmel v. Matt Damon and reminded me that it's the greatest fake feud of all time, lol.

Pookie, I am so glad you loved the story, and I am so glad you took the time out of your schedule to read and respond, to engage and be part of the process! I can't wait to share more with you going forward!

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polizwrites · 2 years

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The Words Engraved Upon Our Souls

While Bucky has accepted Tony’s offer to build him a new arm, there’s clearly something bothering him. When Tony learns that the first words Steve spoke to Bucky - his soulmate mark - was on the arm he lost, he proposes a solution.

This is a fill for today’s @februaryficletchallenge Day 9: Soulmate AU prompt, as well as my @buckybarnesbingo Flash Bingo U card - Ultimatum and @stuckybingo O2 - Stark Tower prompts. Huge thanks to CoffeeOwl for an awesome prompt (see end of fic)

Fandom: MCU/Marvel Pairing: Steve/Bucky, Steve & Bucky & Tony Rating: General Tags: Soulmate AU, Stark Tower, Bucky’s Metal Arm, pining!Tony Word Count: 986

“It’s ready.” Tony tried to keep his voice even; while Bucky had initially seemed interested - excited even - about having a new arm built to replace the Fist of Hydra, over the last couple of days, it seemed something had changed. Steve had noticed it too, but Bucky wouldn’t talk about it to him either.

“Okay.” Bucky rose from the couch and joined Tony in the elevator to the workshop. As the car descended into the basement of Stark Tower, Tony bit the bullet.

“Something’s bothering you about the new arm, isn’t it?”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. “You don’t miss much, do you?”

“Noticing things - and fixing them - is kind of my job,” Tony replied as they stepped out into his workshop. “So talk to me. Did I make it the wrong color? Shiny finish instead of matte? Steve already said I couldn’t give you switchblade fingers--”

Bucky’s soft huff of laughter was music to Tony’s ears. While he knew that Steve and Bucky were true soulmates and devoted to one another, Tony couldn’t help but be attracted to a man who had been through hell and kept going. It also didn’t help that his teenage crush on Captain America was threatening to come back in full force.

Things had started off rocky in both cases: Tony and Steve had butted heads on the helicarrier, and it had been difficult for Tony to learn the truth behind the events of December 16th, 1991.

But then Tony discovered the lengths that Hydra had gone to in order to erase the man Bucky Barnes had been and that they had never quite succeeded. It allowed him to accept the fact that the Soldier had been a weapon who didn’t choose his targets, and any anger or desire for revenge should be aimed at his handlers instead.

“It’s the words,” Bucky blurted out, pulling Tony from his reverie.

“What words?” Tony asked, confused.

“Me & Steve’s words - the first ones we said to each other.” Bucky took a shuddering breath. “When I lost my arm.... I lost them too.”

“I see.” Tony replied; then an idea hit him. “Would it help if I engraved them on your new arm?”

Bucky’s face brightened, just a little. “You could do that, couldn’t you?”

“Of course. Want them inlayed in gold, too?”

Bucky chuckled. “Nah - that’s too fancy for a coupla kids from Brooklyn.” He paused. “Could you trace over Steve’s handwriting?”

“Not a problem. Want JARVIS to ask him to join us?”

“Please.”

“You heard him, J,” Tony called out. “Page Captain Rogers to the workshop.”

Steve arrived a few minutes later, a worried expression on his face and a little out of breath; apparently he hadn’t bothered waiting for the elevator. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Stevie, “Bucky assured him. “At least not any more. Our resident genius came out with a solution to something that’s been on my mind.”

Tony felt his cheeks heat, even as Steve looked at him quizzically. “Bucky mentioned that when he lost his arm, he lost your words. So I suggested engraving them on his new one.”

Steve’s face lit up with amazement and joy. “That’s a fantastic idea, Tony!”

“I have them every once in awhile,” Tony shrugged off the compliment as he opened the case that contained Bucky’s new arm. “So, where exactly were they? It’ll be easier to put them on now, before it’s attached.” After Steve showed him the spot on the inside of the bicep where his words had originally been. Tony spent a few minutes prepping the metal surface.

Watching Steve carefully write out ‘Yeah - and I ain’t no kid.’ Tony couldn’t help but ask, “So, what’s the story behind that?” He winced internally, knowing that while some people were happy to explain their words, others felt them to be a private, personal thing.

“I was getting beat up in an alley, and Bucky came along and gave the bully what for.” Steve grinned fondly at the memory as he pushed his sleeve up to show off his soulmate mark, which read ‘You okay, kid?’

“To be fair,” Bucky shot back, a grin on his face as well, “you looked like you were nine instead of fourteen!” They argued good-naturedly about the details of that first encounter as Tony traced over the letters with an engraving tool.

Carefully wiping away the minuscule metal shavings, Tony felt a pang of jealousy, mixed with the pride he felt at giving his two friends (alas, only friends) a piece of their own past back. A look passed between Bucky and Steve; something fleeting and inscrutable.

“Do you remember the first thing you said to me, Tony?” Bucky’s voice was soft and touched with remorse.

Tony nodded in reply; Bucky had made a heartfelt apology, and he had simply said that it would be some time until he could forgive him. “I want you to put those words on my arm too,” Bucky continued.

“Why?” Tony and Steve asked at the same time.

“To remind me of the lives I’ve taken.” Bucky’s jaw jutted out stubbornly. “Don’t put that arm on me until those words are right there where I’ll see 'em every damned day.” He tapped the metal insistently with a stiff finger.

Tony thought for a moment; he understood better than most what Bucky was feeling. But he also believed he had a solution to the situation. “Okay.” He picked up the engraving tool, only for Steve to give him a shocked look.

“Tony, what are you--” Bucky blocked Steve from reaching out and interfering.

“This is my arm, so I get to choose what’s on it,” he growled.

Steve glared back, clearly ready to argue. “Hold on, Steve. Wait til I’m done,” Tony broke in. In neat block letters, he wrote ‘It will take a while before I forgive you'. Tony then went back and drew a neat line through the first six words.

Original Prompt as shared in the STB Enthusiasts Discord channel

CoffeeOwl ?prompt Soulmate AU: When Bucky lost his arm, he also lost his words. Tony builds him a new one and gives them back. (WinterIron, Stuckony or friendly favor for Stucky 😇 Ooooh maybe Tony does it for Stucky and then Bucky asks Tony to add *his* first words as well?

#writing stuff #fanficlet #FFC 23 #mcu/marvel #soulmate AU #Stucky #Steve x Bucky x Tony #Shameless Self Promo

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holylulusworld · 4 months

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Hellooo so I have a request...

I was looking for a fic about a steve rogers/ bucky barnes parallel series where both of them gets a contract girl for themselves and it I definitely dark elements. The readers are kinda basement-wifes and both stories are different but steve and buckys girls meeting at some point and everything is paralel to the other stories. And at some point they make a plan to escape. One of the girls succeed kinda idk..And steve and buckys girls get to know each other...something like that but i cannot find it.

May u help me pls? 💫💫

Hi. Could it be one of @darkficsyouneveraskedfor stories?

I checked their masterlist and I think it could be Get Your Fix (Steve) and its sister series Heart-Shaped Box (Bucky).

#lulu answers #fic search

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toherlover · 3 years

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don’t think i missed the lil smirk after faking zemo out either i yEARN for this man

#i will only say this once but... i could fix him #and he’s the only one i’d ever say that for #the way i’ve been simping over bucky barnes since i was 11??#incredible #6th grade me had taste #u don’t get it i’m OBSESSED #my friends are literally concerned at this point #i’m sorry #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #i could fix him #bucky barnes #bucky #zemo #sam wilson #elle talks

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mediocre-daydreams · 2 years

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the one where the protein shake plays matchmaker

pairing: bucky barnes x gn! avengers! reader

summary: you and bucky barnes can find any reason to hate each other. new york can find any reason to believe you two are together. when steve asks you to do a co-interview with bucky, the two of you are barraged by dating rumors that you vehemently deny and it breaks bucky’s heart. do you really find the thought of being with bucky so revolting?

w/c: 10k

warnings: angst with a happy ending! (it’s not a fluffy ending, but there’ll be more parts to come with the fluff u guys deserve.) bucky’s an asshole, ur an asshole, but bucky’s also vulnerable and insecure and ur so fucking confused, and sam was joking the whole time but damn it actually happened. not proof read!!!

a/n: this is the longest fic i’ve ever written i literally woke up this morning, sat at the kitchen table, and blacked out for the entire day until this monstrosity of a piece was produced. peace out.

it was all sam’s fault. (but isn’t it always sam’s fault?)

you were nursing a freshly brewed coffee, the top half of your body folded over tony’s white onyx dupont corian marble countertops—which he just had installed two weeks ago and would kill you if he saw how casually you were treating them—when sam called you from his spot on the couch.

“hey, get over here,” he snorted. “you’re gonna wanna see this.”

you made no effort to move. “i’m looking at you right now, sam.” it wasn’t a lie; your spot from the countertop gave you a perfect view of sam’s lounging profile as he pointed the remote at the TV, aggressively pressing the volume button so you couldn’t avoid at least hearing whatever news he wanted you to see.

“...and the former Winter Soldier, otherwise known as Sargent James Barnes, are taking the internet by storm as young fans flood social media with pictures of the two cozying up outside a local café after the Avengers returned from an appearance in Manhattan.” you could hear the smile in the reporter’s voice. “personally, i’ve been a believer since the park bench incident, but many twitter users are claiming this is the ultimate confirmation of their relationship.”

“okay, what the hell?” you abandoned your coffee, stalking over to where sam was sitting smugly. “you’re telling me that james fucking barnes is in a relationship? are we talking about the same barnes? tall, brooding, bitchy barnes?” you roll your eyes as you slouched into the cushions and nuzzled into sam’s shoulder.

“yeah, in a relationship with you, hon.” sam tilted his head, resting it atop yours.

“ha ha, it’s too early for your bad jokes and you already tore me away from my caffeine fix.”

you could feel sam shuffling from above you, his breathy laugh making you suspicious.

“i’m not joking—just look.”

“FINALLY,’ one twitter user says, in all caps. i mean, that much is obvious.” the screen flashes with images of you and bucky, the two of you making eye contact in battle, walking next to each other through times square, you tending to his wounds on the sidewalk, and what you imagine to be the park bench incident that one of the reporters referred to earlier—bucky and you practically nose-to-nose, his cheeks flushed and your eyebrows furrowed.

“what the fuck? what is this?” you throw yourself off sam, the top of your head slamming into his chin in your haste. sam clutches his jaw, groaning dramatically before he flings himself on top of you, one hand coming up to his forehead as he gasps, pretending to faint.

“you’ve killed me! oh, what will bucky say when he finds out the love of his life is a murderer? what will he do when you’re jailed for manslaughter?” sam cages you with his arms, grinning maniacally from his perch a few inches above your face.

“sam, what the fuck? what did i just watch?” before sam can answer, you hear a loud and familiar scoff from the doorway.

“nobody wants to watch you make out in the kitchen, princess. it’s making me lose my appetite.” bucky strides in and your scowl immediately deepens. you wrestle yourself out from underneath sam.

“how many times have i told you to stop with that? we’re not making out, so stop taking your hangriness out on me, gramps.”

“sure, that explains why he’s literally on top of you. god, i see you guys groping each other so often that the image is practically branded into my mind.”

“groping? grope- so you can’t get me out of your mind, is that it? perv.”

bucky doesn’t give you the satisfaction of an answer, but you take it to mean that you’ve won. “right, and now you’ve got nothing to say? good, because i can’t stand your stupid, grating voice criticizing everything i do.” you’re on the verge of getting up and shoving yourself in front of his aggravating face just to prove a point, but sam interrupts your thoughts.

“ah, a lover’s quarrel. what is it, 7:30? this has got to be a record.” sam whips his phone out. “smile for the camera! TMZ is going to eat this up. imagine the headlines! ‘trouble in paradise: avengers star crossed couple bickering after jealous tensions arise.’”

“jealous?” bucky sneers. “what have i got to be jealous of? you two are sickening.” you realize how closely you’re still sitting next to sam.

“you’re just envious because you haven’t gotten any since the 40s.” you scoot away from sam’s side, refusing to give bucky more ammunition. “admit it, you wish women liked you as much as they like me.” it’s a bit of a low blow, and you’re aware. since becoming a public feature amongst the avengers, patching up his reputation has been a slow process. meanwhile, new york adores you. you can’t go anywhere without people asking you for autographs and pictures, but you don’t mind. you’re honored that the city entrusts you with the duty of protecting them, so you figure the least you can do is repay them with these small requests and warm smiles. bucky, on the other hand, mainly receives nervous glances and parents pulling their children closer to their sides. on the off chance some giddy fan requests a picture, bucky glowers until they leave with dejection painted across their faces. it’s no wonder bucky hasn’t been on any dates.

“right, because i’m so jealous of all your tiktik edits. slow motion close-ups of your face and body in different colors? alright doll, i’m sure women eat that up.” he’d never admit it, but he has seen some of your edits, and if he were to be objective, they were quite flattering. but, if he was to be subjective, he’d never personally be attracted to them.

sam coughed, hiding a laugh and bucky’s mispronunciation of the social media app.

“you know what? enjoy your protein shake, or whatever it is that appeases your masculinity. your testosterone is giving me a migraine.” you’re out of the room in a minute, taking your frustration from the room. bucky’s moodiness still loomed.

“the sexual tension is off the charts,” sam teased. bucky tensed, freezing as he measures his protein powder. (you were right, he does drink protein shakes.) “why can’t you guys just fuck already?”

bucky stammered. the tips of his ears were heating up, and he thanked himself for not getting that haircut. his brown locks are shorter than before, but still tousled enough to cover his ears when he’s sporting bedhead. “sexual tensi- sam, are you insane? i’m not gonna fuck your girl.”

sam had the audacity to laugh. to guffaw. bucky turned around, his confusion evident.

“my- my girl?” he’s wheezing, clutching his stomach. bucky didn’t have time for this.

“yes, why-” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “why do you keep talking about your girlfriend like that? i know it’s none of my business, or whatever, but it’s disrespectful. and for your information, i would never feel that way towards her, so you don’t have to worry.”

“my girl. my girl!” sam caught his breath, exaggeratingly fanning himself. “she’s not my girl, bucky. my girl, holy shit. my girl?” sam’s in disbelief, repeating the words as if he’s trying to process the absolute ludicrousy of it all. “that’s… that’s kind of disgusting, honestly. she’s like, my baby sister. do you need to get your prescription updated? they’ve been my sibling since they started here. i’m pretty sure they got me one of those gag gift “best older brother” mugs at some point, it might still be in the cabinet.” he gestured to behind bucky, where the tower’s impressive collection of mugs was hidden behind sliding glass.

bucky dug through the treasure chest of porcelain. sure enough, there was the mug, hidden in the back and collecting dust. ugly comic sans spelled out “i love my big brother,” with a red heart in lieu of the word love.

“i- so you guys aren’t together?”

“god, no! do you know how much younger they are than me? well, actually, not by much. but young enough that i view them as practically a child.”

bucky couldn’t help the boil in his stomach at that. “they’re not a child, sam. they’re an adult, and very capable of pissing me off just like an adult. as much as i hate children, they’re not capable of being such bi-” bucky refrained from using the word ‘bitches,’ knowing of its dehumanizing undertones and historical abuse against non-male people, and had decided to remove it from his vocabulary all together. he had been reading modern books and recently, gotten into feminism. bucky was still an equal opportunity offender, though. he wasn’t sexist—he hated you just as much as he hated sam. he opted for insulting sam. “don’t be an ansshole, sam.”

“why are you so worried, buck? you want them all to yourself, don’tcha?”

“are you kidding me? i can’t stand them! they’re so- argh, they make me want to- god, they’re so mouth it makes me want to gag them.”

“kinky.”

“i swear to god, sam. you’re not going to live to see your precious sibling again because i am going to come and murder you.” he started towards the couch, fists clenched.

“wait! before you bash in my pretty face, i’ve got something to show you.” bucky couldn’t help his curiosity as he took the phone from sam’s hands. “it’s a tiktok edit, the type you were talking about earlier.”

bucky had never realized people made tiktok edits of him. he was secretly flattered. the video had captured his good side, too. “and this is relevant how?” sam didn’t need to answer, because a few seconds later, bucky’s eyes looked like they were bulging out of his head. the video had gotten to the slow motion bit, and you had come on screen. the video showed you grabbing bucky’s hand mid-battle to drag him out of harm’s way, sparkles and hearts fluttering around the two of you. it cut to another slow motion of you two sending a silent message as you made eye contact from across the street, and then the video zoomed in on both of your faces as the music crescendoed. bucky, utilizing his new knowledge of the modern world, tapped on the comments. they were flooded with bullshit messages like “the way they look at each other <33” and “i want what they have” and even “somebody run me over with a bus.” he didn’t understand the last one, but the first two confirmed his fears.

“sam, do people- do people think we’re together?”

sam chortled. “if by people, you mean all of new york, then yes.” bucky’s face turned beet red as he tossed the phone back to his annoying friend as if it were a hot coal.

“oh god, oh my god… out of everyone, it has to be them?”

“don’t look so disgusted, man. we all know you guys have the hots for each other.”

bucky was running his hands through his hair in distress as he paced. just then, wanda appeared, dragging natasha behind her as she chattered on about the new sneakers she was getting pietro as natasha suggested colors. “aw, bucky’s blushing! i saw that video of you guys on the news, it was really cute. congrats on finally getting together!”

natasha smirked, a little more perceptive than the optimistic wanda. “yeah, congrats. i’m guessing the make-up sex was good, then? i heard a lot of noise this morning.”

“we are not together!” bucky growled.

“huh, really? could’ve fooled me. your thoughts are so loud about her, bucky. i don’t mean to read them or anything, but sometimes they’re just so strong that i can’t help it. i thought it was because you really loved her, or something.” wanda smiled, completely oblivious. “it’s kind of romantic, honestly.”

“in love with them?” bucky looked horrified. “please, i can’t even look them in the eye. they make me sick. i have to hold back my puke every time i’m near them.”

wanda, simultaneously preparing an omelette for her and natasha, shrugged. natasha quirked an eyebrow.

“sounds an awful lot like butterflies, buck. just sayin’.” she and wanda were quick to return to cooking as bucky stood here, shaking his head in shock. him? loving you? loudmouthed, arrogant, know-it-all you? you with the savior complex and big heart? big hearts were a weakness. they made you vulnerable.

bucky squished his face together, sighing. “i’m done with this conversation,” he mumbled. he looked down at his protein shake, which had begun to warm up in his hand as he had neglected it in favor of talking about you. he couldn’t help it—you were just so infuriating, how could he not think about you?

it was all steve’s fault. (captain america was not the golden boy everyone made him out to be.)

“have you lost it? bucky and i, doing an interview? first of all, you know that he’s going to provoke me the whole time. we’re gonna be at each others’ throats, and is that really the image you want to project? that the avengers can’t even get along? and second, he’s not exactly the most well liked right now. no offense to you, steve, but not everyone can see bucky the way you do. it’s all so new to everyone, and to him too, and it’s a lot to expect him to represent us. you, more than anyone, should know how antsy he gets around cameras. all the questions are gonna make him uncomfortable, and let’s be realistic, they’re going to be invasive questions too. he’s literally just started therapy, and expecting him to uncover all the details of his past to be broadcasted to the entire nation is kind of fucked up.”

steve looked at you with a look in his eye that you couldn’t quite place, as if he knew something you didn’t. “i know it’s asking a lot of him, and you too, but i think this is really going to help. having him open up a bit is going to show the people that he’s not the winter soldier anymore, but that he’s bucky barnes, a former soldier and a hero. people adore you, and you know that. your presence is going to humanize him. if you guys could just get along for an hour, you could do wonders for his public image. and yes, i know he hates cameras. but part of his distaste is because he knows they’re going to pin him in a bad light, but with you by his side, this could finally be the chance for him to get some positive attention. and if the interview goes really well, i’m hoping that positive press can be more permanent.”

you sigh, running the pros and cons through your head. on one hand, you hated his guts. he hated yours too, and because of that, you didn’t owe him anything. he was a big boy, he could handle his own problems. plus, you didn’t want to play babysitter for him of all people. you knew that you’d both hate it.

but still, this was bucky barnes. he might be indifferent and rude and self-absorbed, but he was still just a man overcoming his trauma. you could understand that—he was a POW thrust nearly 80 years into the future only to be harassed and hated by the public. he deserved a little bit of peace, and if one measly interview could change the way people treated him, maybe it was worth it. it would be selfish, you thought, to let your own hatred for him prevent him from that opportunity for happiness that would finally come from positive public attention.

“fine. i’ll do it.” you steeled your jaw. “but it’s not for him. not whatsoever. i just- i pity him, that’s all. it must suck for everyone to think you’re a dick, even if you kind of are. but this is the only time i’m ever doing anything for him—i mean, with him—so don’t get used to it.”

“thank you,” steve took your hands in his large ones, fingers curling over your defeated wrists. “this means so much to me. this’ll mean so much to him, too.”

you turned on your heel, calling over your shoulder. “send me the information. and let him know not to get the wrong impression—i still hate him.”

steve chuckled, looking down at the ground with amusement.

bucky cursed the world when he heard the news. “with them? are you kidding me? the whole interview is going to be about how kind and selfless and universally adored they are, it’s not going to help at all! plus, we’re going to be at each others’ throats and then it won’t matter what kind of press i’ll get because i’ll be in jail for first degree murder, you punk! please, dear god, please cancel it.”

“i can’t cancel it, buck. it’s scheduled for tomorrow.” bucky groaned, running his hands down his face. “it’s only an hour of screentime, and you’ll probably only be with them for a total of three hours.”

“why are there two extra hours, then?”

“you’ll have to get ready, and then you’ll probably stay and talk with the producers afterwards. it’s only polite. it’s live, so the audience will most likely want to meet you too.”

“steve, as much as i despire dr. raynor, i’m going to tell her about how insufferable you are. maybe she can issue me a medical exemption, because there’s no way this could be good for my mental health.”

“sorry, bud. i actually talked to dr. raynor about this, and she thinks it’d be good for you to make a public appearance and get people to like you more. something about a weight off your shoulders and team cooperation or whatnot. plus, you know dr. raynor would probably end up scheduling an extra session with you if you bailed, so the interview is probably the lesser of two evils.”

“fine. you know what? fine. but if the devil reincarnated doesn’t come back unscathed, don’t blame me.” bucky hung up with an aggressive tap on his screen, muttering a string of profanities under his breath.

it was wanda’s fault. she insisted on styling you, putting you in this nice button down and helping you pick out a pair of cool patterned pants. you refused the loose tie, even though wanda said it made you look hot. “i don’t want to look hot, wanda. i just want to get this over with.” you whined.

“babe, looking hot will make it more enjoyable. just imagine how many memes they’re going to get out of this; don’t you want to look your best?” wanda giggled, admiring your face in the mirror as makeup artists powdered your nose. bucky sat in the chair next to you, absolutely silent, his face expressionless as stylists attacked him with hairspray to keep that slightly windblown look in place. you had to admit, he was pretty with his hair all natural, or at least, styled with the intention of making it look so. this was all objective observation, though.

one of bucky’s stylists called your name gently. “what do you think?”

“it’s lovely, you’ve done such a wonderful job,” you smiled, genuinely appreciative for their attentive care and hard work.

“thank you! but i can’t take much credit. your boyfriend is a natural beauty,” the stylist commented as he dabbed a bit of foundation on bucky’s cheeks. bucky choked a bit. “hold still!” the stylist chided.

your stylist laughed at his reaction. “and such a sweetheart too! he’s a real good one, held the door for me and everything. you’re a real delight to work with,” she looked towards bucky, who was bewildered. “don’t tell anyone i said this, but you’re a welcome change from the snobbish interviewees we usually get. please, feel free to get interviewed more often.” she winked, applying a sheen of tint to your lips, preventing your from interjecting.

wanda’s eyes twinkled. “they’re so cute, aren’t they?” she chirped. “have you seen that picture of them on the bench?” she held her hand up to her heart. “so precious!”

your lips were finally free. “we’re not toge-”

just your luck; you were interrupted. “five minutes to showtime!” a voice called from out of view.

“thank you, five!” wanda and the stylists called. your stylist fiddled with your hair before giving you a nod of satisfaction and shooing you and bucky out. you two stood by the small hallway by the stage entrance. his body was burly enough to take up more than half the space, and you were forced so close to each other that you could feel his breath on your face. you immediately recognized the nerves—you had worn that same expression before your first interview, and you had wrung your hands in the same way, and you had trembled under clint’s reassuring gaze before he had taken your hand and squeezed it in comfort.

you wanted bucky’s interview to go well. after all, you knew what it was like to be in his shoes. cautiously, watching yourself as you slowly extended your fingers and brushed them against his. he shivered, taking a sharp inhale of air and holding his breath. his hand was too big for you to nestle your fingers between him comfortably, so instead, you nestled your palm between his. fingers wrapping around the back of his hand and tapping rhythmically, your eyes flickered up to meet his once again. his blue eyes, which had previously been stormy and dark, had lightened somewhat as they bored into yours. your heart was pounding. when was the last time you had been so nervous to be on TV? you had become somewhat of a natural, and it was all second nature. you supposed the stakes were higher this time around. now, you had to keep an eye out for bucky, and you’d be damned if you did a bad job.

bucky’s gaze snapped to the door as your cue was called, and he let go of the breath he was holding as he tightened his grip around your hand wordlessly. you gave him a small smile, eyebrows pinching sympathetically as you read the trepidation in his expressive eyes. “you’re gonna do great. just follow my lead.” he nodded, clenching his jaw in determination as you headed on stage to the cheering of an audience. the loveseat was smaller than usual, and you and bucky’s thighs brushed against each other as you settled in.

“welcome, welcome! here they are, the couple of the hour!” the crowd roared at that. your hand had begun to grow clammy, and you realized you and bucky had yet to let go of each others’ hands. you tore yours away from him quickly, wiping the perspiration on your pants as subtly as you could. you noticed his pang of hurt, quickly replaced by a fake smile.

“couple!” you laughed nervously. “i’m not sure how that rumor got started, but bucky and i are not together.” the host looked genuinely surprised.

“really? well, we respect your privacy 110%. celebrity dating can be complicated nowadays; have you seen megan fox and MGK? now that couple is the opposite of private.” you couldn’t help but laugh, breaking into another fit as the camera zoomed in on bucky’s puzzled face. you watched as he pursed his lips on the big screen behind the audience that allowed to you see how the interview was being broadcasted, which you were grateful for. you knew how notorious media could be about presentation—they could manipulate your actions and take your words out of context to frame the story in whichever way would bring in the most profit.

“so, sergeant barnes,” the host begun.

“bucky is fine.” bucky mumbled. you turned to him and mouthed “it’s okay,” and with a cute scrunch of his nose, he cleared his throat and repeated himself more confidently. “bucky is fine. ‘s what steve calls me; actually, most people i know call me that.”

“bucky, huh? now where do you get bucky from james?” bucky smiled, a true smile, as he recounted the origin of his name.

“well, james was a popular name back in the 40s.” there were a couple laughs from the audience as people remembered how old he really was—he had been adjusting to the modern look well, and with his trendy look courtesy of his stylist and timeless handsomeness, he looked as if he could be a celebrity of this time. “so steve got tired of all the mix-ups. don’t tell anyone this,” he mock whispered, holding his hand up to his mouth as he leaned over you to pretend to secretly speak the host. in the process, he had rested his hand on your thigh, gripping the softness of your skin for balance. “my middle name is buchanan. kind of embarrassing, right?”

he leaned back, removing his hand from your thigh without second thought. you were left a bit dazed, but as you blinked a few times to come to your senses, you retaliated by ruffling his hair and ruining his stylist’s hard work. “c’mon, winnie picked that one out for you. show some respect.”

he laughed, bringing his hand up to meet your own, patting it good-naturedly before removing it from the top of his head. “alright, alright. so steve took buchanan and turned it into bucky, and it’s stuck ever since. it’s a lot cooler than james barnes, and coming from the 40s, i think i need all the cool i can get.” the host chuckled, shaking his finger at bucky.

“you, my friend, are plenty cool. not sure how much you’re active on social media, bucky, but you’ve got quite the online presence.” the host pointed at you. “and you’re quite prominent on instagram, so i’m sure you’ve seen these.”

the host took out a top hat, with the base up, and you could see the folded slips of paper piled within. “would you do the honor of reading some of these out loud to us?” your face burned as you took the hat, sending the host a fake glare as you shook your head.

“you are so cruel.”

bucky was confused once more. “what is that?”

the host smiled mischievously. “that, my friend, is your online presence.”

you unfolded a slip of paper. “okay, this is a tweet from buckybarnesluver40” and it says,” you cleared your throat for dramatic effect. “all i want for christmas is for bucky barnes to crush me with his thighs,” you choked out as the audience screamed in approval. the camera zoomed in on you and bucky’s identical mortified expressions.

“hilarious! looks like the girlfriend’s not too pleased. another one, please, please!” the host said between laughs.

you reached your hand into the hat once again. “okay, another tweet. this time it’s from supersoldiersfan4life and it says “i would let bucky barnes use his knife on me in bed. i would kill to be-” your mouth dropped open. it was your name. “supersoldiersfan4life wants to be me?” you screeched.

“don’t we all? you two are the cutest. who agrees?” more screams from the crowd. more screams from within your mind. what was going on?

you swallowed hard, mustering up the courage to look over at bucky. he looked like he was receding into himself, his face a bright shade of red. you hoped you didn’t look as obviously flustered.

the host had the good grace to pluck the hat out of your hand, perhaps sensing the discomfort from both of you. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. we’re all dying to know the relationship details, but maybe that’s for another interview. for now, we’d love to know a little bit more about you, bucky. you’re a bit of an enigma.”

you were still reeling as the host asked you how you felt about bucky. “bucky, you’ve just moved into stark tower, haven’t you? can you let us know how he’s settling in? what’s the general vibe around there?”

you hesitate, not sure how to answer. obviously, you couldn’t just tell a live broadcast how much you hated the man, but you were a notoriously horrible liar. luckily, people got a kick out of your bluntness. but now wasn’t the time for that, not when you were here to try and improve bucky’s reputation. “uh, he’s a great guy, you know? i… he made a great first impression.” you didn’t need to look at the screen or bucky to know that his face was twisted into one of great surprise.

it was true, though. when you first met him, you had thought that he’d be an immediate friend. you admired how willing he was to adjust to the social norms of the 21st century, and how respectful he had been when you showed him around the tower and let him peek into your bedroom. you liked how he made eye contact with you and treated you like an equal rather than assuming you were inexperienced and incapable simply because of your age. and though you hated to admit it, you had fallen for his charms and silly jokes for the first few days you knew him—the first few days of friendliness before he decided he couldn’t stand you and before you two started an intense mutual hatred.

“you know, he’s reading all these books about cultural literacy and societal reform, which i really admire. lot of the titles came from my recommendation list, which i gave him within the first few days that we met. i have to say, it really strokes my ego every time i catch him reading the feminist literature i recommended.” the host looked surprised, but delighted. “yeah, it’s wonderful, isn’t it? he’s gone through so much, and yet he’s still so open-minded and willing to adjust to this century, which i imagine must be hard. he really is incredible.” the fondness is evident as you talk about him. you hadn’t even realized, but at some point, your body had turned away from the host and audience and begun looking at him, eyes soft as you spoke directly to the man you despised.

bucky’s eyebrows were furrowed, as if he couldn’t comprehend such kind words being meant for him, much less in front of a live audience, much less coming from you. “no, they’re too kind. they’re lovely but apparently a complete liar, because i am not what they’re making me out to be. trust me, i’m a menace to live with. i make protein shakes at 7:30 in the morning and tony’s blender is loud. you’d think for a billionaire, he’d be able to find some sort of silent one, but the man insists on the industrial-strength model. apparently, it’s the only thing that can properly mix his milkshakes.” the host laughs, as does the audience, and a screen rolls down from behind the two of you.

“we’ve actually got a video of that blender for you all, sent in by none other than the falcon, sam wilson, himself! let’s take a look.”

the video starts and the two of you share a knowing look. your eyebrows are raised and bucky’s eyes are comically wide.

“james buchanan barnes, if you don’t turn off that blender right now, i will shove your hand in there and you can find out just how much protein is in human flesh.” your frustrated voice sounded from offscreen, and as bucky stopped blending and turned around, you came into frame. you donned a pair of falcon pajama bottoms, with redwing patterned all over the navy blue fabric. they were a gift from sam last christmas, and had quickly become a favorite.

“yeah, and what are you gonna do about it, princess?” he crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one foot as you faced him, chest to chest. the camera shook as sam’s muffled laughter layered over your argument.

“motherfucker- i told you not to call me that!”

“you’ve got quite the mouth, haven’t you, love? someone ‘outa shut you up. and look, i’m right here!” he gestured to his body, smirking.

“don’t flatter yourself. i’d rather drink your nasty protein shake before kissing you.”

“now, who said anything about kissing?”

the camera trembled violently and sam’s laughter cut off abruptly as the video ended. you were hiding your face in your hands as bucky looked in the opposite direction of you, body facing the audience and head lowered.

“oh god, you are evil!” you teased the host, trying to salvage your dignity with feigned nonchalance. “we should’ve never agreed to come here.”

bucky twisted around, shaking his fist jokingly as he attempted to salvage just the same. “you’re killing me, man. i’d rather talk about HYDRA than relive these moments.”

the host leaned forward, elbows resting on the wood as the audience’s laughter slowly faded.

“yes, if you’re comfortable discussing your experiences as the winter soldier, we’d love to learn more. it seems like there’s a lot of misinformation and contradicting stories floating around, yes? do you have anything to say about all the hate?”

bucky sighed, scratching the back of his neck before getting comfortable and slinging his arm around the couch, arm brushing your back. “it’s still hard to talk about, especially when people already have their own perceptions of me and the winter soldier. but i want to make it clear, the winter soldier is a completely different person than bucky barnes. we might have shared the same body, but i had no control when the winter soldier was activated. that was all the fault of HYDRA programming and brainwashing. i’m also still learning to forgive myself for my past, but what i’ve been reminding myself is that i’m not a criminal, i’m a survivor of war. i’m still sargent barnes, who fought in WWII and lived through HYDRA kidnapping and experimentation. i guess, in some way, i’m a- a victim. and it’s hard to say that, because there’s a lot of vulnerability in admitting that you were completely powerless in a situation, but i really believe that’s the truth. and i’m hoping other people can see that as the truth as well.”

the crowd was silent, with nothing more than murmurs reaching your ears. the host was solemn. “thank you, bucky. and if it’s any consolation, everyone here in this room supports your recovery and believes in your innocence. i think the world is beginning to come to its senses as well.” you and bucky both smiled, and there was a lift in your heart that you couldn’t quite place.

“and through it all, he’s been a selfless advocate for children with prosthetics just like him.” you added, thinking back to something steve had mentioned a few weeks ago. “he volunteers at a physical therapy center and talks to the kids there; says he doesn’t need any money or credit for it, and that helping a kid out of the darkness that comes with losing a limb is enough payment for him.” you looked at him, biting your lip as it began to tremble. why were you so emotional? you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to cry on live television.

“that’s incredible, bucky. you really don’t give yourself enough credit for all the amazing work you’ve been doing.” the host nodded gratefully at bucky, and from the audience was a shout.

“we love you, bucky barnes!” the rest of the audience burst into laughter, as did the host. you gave bucky a watery smile, and he returned it with a gentle look of his own, lips curling ever so slightly.

“on that heartfelt note, we’re unfortunately out of time, so please give it up for our two avengers!” you and bucky waved as you shuffled off stage, desperate to get away from the cameras to comprehend what had just happened.

“what the fuck was that?” you whisper-shouted, looking at bucky with something akin to terror.

“i have no idea,” he hissed, eyes darting around the hall. the two of you walked hastily, hoping to escape the studio before paparazzi and fans could cage you in. “did you tell people we were together?”

“me? why would i do that? i would never date you. that’s totally ridiculous,” you sputtered, face flushing. you would never hold his hand unless you absolutely had to, just like today, when you had to calm him down because you would be completely embarrassed if you had to do an interview with a nervous bucky barnes. it would’ve been completely distracting, having to sit next to him where he did that self-soothing thing with his hands, and then you would have had to grab his hands in front of everyone to stop him, which would’ve been even more embarrassing.

“are you blushing? ew.” he picked up his pace and you jogged to catch up with him. the two of you were nearly at the exit, and you realized that if you let him get away, you’d never be able to finish the conversation. he’d just ignore you until you inevitably got into another fight, as it always went.

“why are you so horrible?” you asserted, a little hurt at the jab which seemingly came out of nowhere. “i just did you a huge favor! do you think i wanted to do this interview with you and get completely humiliated in front of an audience? why do you have to be so crabby all the time?”

“humiliated? is it so humiliating to be seen with me?” he spat, spinning around and stopping in place. he grabbed ahold of your forearms to stop you from crashing into him. his hands, warm and calloused, pressed into your skin and grounded you. “everyone loves you, you’re such a perfect princess, aren’t you? you don’t want to be associated with the winter soldier, is that it? you’re so obsessed with what people think of you that you can’t even bear the thought that, god forbid, you’re dating me? and everyone’s telling me i deserve love and i’m trying, holy shit, i’m trying so hard to believe that. but it always comes back to you—you treat me like shit and now i see it. you still think of me as a murderer, don’t you? the idea of loving me is so outrageous that you couldn’t even look at me during that video. and you’re cruel, you know that? you’re cruel to look me in the eyes as you lie through your teeth, saying all these- these things about me when we both know they couldn’t be further from the truth. you just have to rub it in, don’t you? isn’t it enough that the world hates me? you just have to take it a step further, telling everyone all the things i do in private and then shoving it in my face that all of that kindness is just an act for the cameras!”

you wanted to yell at him for being self-deprecating, but his accusation of your character had pushed you over the edge. “goddamn it, barnes! you think the world revolves around you, don’t you? everything’s about you and the fucking winter soldier, and yeah, i get it, you went through shit! but don’t you dare attack my character when i have done nothing but try and be nice to you! do you remember when you came to the tower for the first time? i tried to be your friend until you decided one day that you were going to hate me for no reason—did you expect me to just shut up and take it? you don’t get to treat me like shit and then get mad at me for retaliating. you know, when steve asked me to do this, my immediate response was no. but even through all of this,” you waved your hand between the two of you, voice hoarse from the yelling. “i still care about you.”

“you care about me?” bucky’s voice was small, and his fingers pressed harder into your forearms. you winced, not being able to stand the super soldier’s strength any longer. his face fell as soon as he saw your expression of pain, dropping your arms immediately and backing up.

“i- look,” he started. you put your hand in the air.

“you know what? save it. yes, bucky, i care about your wellbeing because i respect you. and for a moment, i thought you might’ve respected me too-”

“i do respect you, it’s just-”

“shut up! you treat me like my existence offends you, and if you can still find a reason to hate me after me doing this interview and saying those things about you and trying to help you, then i give up. you think so lowly of me that you can find it in yourself to accuse me of all this and that’s only proof that you have no respect for me. and if that’s the way you want to play it, fine. i don’t care about people who can’t even treat me with decency.” you spat, furious.

you yanked the door open, storming out. your initial plan to avoid the crowd was out the window; fans swarmed you and cameras flashed as you shoved your way through the horde, not caring about your usual reputation for kindness towards your admirers.

bucky was hot on your tail, and you could hear his loud footsteps as he tried to catch up with you. he’d screwed up bad this time, hadn’t he? he’d screwed up your entire relationship and any possibility of neutrality since the beginning—you hadn’t done anything. it had been entirely his fault, and he’d been too childish to make amends. but he’d crossed the line today, and he knew it. he cursed himself, knowing he’d most likely lost you forever. all that bickering the two of you had? that’d be gone too. from now on, you probably wouldn’t even waste a breath on him. he was going to be nothing to you, but that was assuming he ever meant anything to you at all.

“wait, please,” he called. he could’ve easily caught up to you and pinned you against a wall to force you to talk to him, or pinned you against a wall and finally get a good look at your face and maybe even catch another sight of the smiles you had gifted him with back when you were on that loveseat and before he had fucked everything up. but he knew you’d hate that. he knew you’d hate him for taking away your autonomy, for ignoring your decision to leave, and for abusing his super-soldier status to get what he wanted from you.

“please, i’m sorry, just let me talk to you,” he pleaded, voice cracking with desperation. this was it. you were never going to talk to him again. he hated you, he really did, but he was not going to let one stupid comment ruin everything between you two. he was dumb and stubborn and full of himself, and you deserved nothing that he had done to you, but if you were going to ignore him for the rest of your lives—which he prayed would not be the ultimate outcome—he needed you to know that you hadn’t done anything wrong. he owed that to you, at least.

he lost you at the tower. you had gotten to the elevator before he had even stepped foot in the building, and he sprinted up the stairs, hoping to catch you before you left. he practically flung himself into the kitchen, knowing the first person you’d go to would be sam, who had been living on the couch recently, binge-watching toddlers and tiaras.

“woah, bucko, whatcha up to there?”

“i need to see-” he panted, looking around for you frantically.

“ah, i see. finally ready to confess your love for them, aren’t you?”

bucky paused. he stopped and he thought. he really thought this time, his face scrunched in concentration. he looked at sam incredulously.

“i- something like that, actually.” the two men both were both shocked into silence.

“uh, right! okay. they’re, um, in their room. not looking too great.” sam stared at bucky, eyes bugging. “good luck? i mean, i just- okay. Yeah.”

bucky pursed his lips, giving sam a curt nod before gathering the strength to make his way to your room. his heart was in his throat, and he thought there was a good chance that the moment he saw you, it would jump right out of his throat and land on the floor at your feet. now that would be humiliating. and it would also kill him too, but maybe that was a good thing because it meant he wouldn’t be alive to face you again.

his fist hesitated in the air as he stood by your doorway. he was sure you were aware of his presence; he wasn’t exactly a light treader. he knocked, holding his breath.

“fuck off, barnes.”

“i can’t. i have to talk to you.”

“you don’t have the right to demand anything from me. go away.”

“i can’t, i ha- you don’t have to talk to me, but please, can you just listen?”

bucky didn’t hear anything from your side of the room, which he took to be affirmative. “i- i’m sorry. i’ve been an asshole.”

you snorted mirthlessly, and he could imagine the look of repulse on your face. “to put it lightly,” you sneered.

“yeah, i know, and it’s not your fault, you know. you can hate me all you want from now on, and i deserve it. i know i deserve it, and i’m not going to try and change your mind. i just need to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. me hating you, i mean. i mean, i guess i never really hated you, it was just that, i guess-” he sighed, thoughts racing too fast to be able to articulate. “i can’t speak. you drive me insane, and i-”

“gee, thanks, barnes. way to apologize.”

“no! i don’t mean it like that, i just- i’m so sorry, please just, can you let me in? i can’t do this from outside. i know you said i didn’t respect you, but that’s not true. i respect you, and that’s why i want to say this to your face. please.”

bucky heard shuffling from behind the door. it swung open. there you were, looking small and defeated, as he towered over you like some absolute jerk. he shrunk himself, wishing for once that he could be smaller. he observed your face like he had wished he could earlier. your eyes were red-rimmed—had you been crying? you were sniffling softly, rubbing your nose. there was a tissue box on the bed and a few used bundles scattered around the floor. a thin blanket, too, was crumpled and lying on the ground. his heart broke. he stood by the doorframe, not sure what to do. you motioned to the bed, taking a seat on it yourself. the mattress sank as he placed himself a good distance away from you, but still, he turned and forced himself to look into your eyes.

“i didn’t know what to do when i first met you,” he rushed, the words flooding out of his mouth quicker than he could process them. “you were so kind to me. too kind. i didn’t think i deserved it, and i was terrified. you were… perfect. steve, my best friend, he adored you. i saw you two together all the time, and you made him laugh like i used to do. and after all steve did for me, all i could do was recluse myself in my room and give him one-word answers. steve didn’t know what to do, and as much as he tried, i could tell that he was growing tired. he’s got a lot going on, and i don’t blame him for not wanting to babysit all the time. but you were there, and you didn’t even treat me like a pity case. you weren’t some babysitter, you were my friend. my only friend, probably.” he looked at his lap, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“um, i really appreciated that. i don’t think i’d had such a connection to anyone since the 40s. since steve and i met. and-” he covered his face with his hands. “this is so embarrassing, i’m- i’m sorry. i think i liked being around you… too much. and i was, well, me. and you were there, like some angel, making my life better, no, making everyone’s lives better, and i was this weight taking up all your time. and i knew that i’d be lucky if you ever even considered me a friend. i’d be lucky if you could even tolerate all my problems for more than a few weeks, so i never pushed it.”

you opened your mouth to speak, but bucky waved his hands furiously, finally meeting your eyes.

“please, just let me finish. and you can say whatever you want after.” your mouth shut, as did your eyes, as you tried to follow his words. “and you know sam and i have our own thing going on,” bucky laughed bitterly. “he didn’t trust me at first. still tries to get on my nerves now. we respect each other, of course, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a little shit. sorry.” he shot you what you thought was an apologetic look, maybe because he knew you and sam were close.

“he was cold to me at first, and i couldn’t handle it. it was like being back there, having everyone talk to me in clipped tones as if i wasn’t there. there were some days where he wouldn’t address me at all. i don’t blame him, i guess. tony was suspicious too. you guys gave me so much more than i deserved. but with you, he was like a completely different person. you guys are so close, you know? you guys are like how steve and i used to be, before i came back all fucked up. i don’t think steve and i will ever have what we used to have, or will ever have what you and sam have. and i think- i think i was… jealous. it wasn’t just because i wanted my friendship with steve back, but because i wanted a friendship with you. no, that’s not it at all. i’m sorry, this isn’t easy for me—feelings, i mean—i’m trying, i’m trying for you. i wanted something else, something more with you. because i really liked you, and it took seeing you and sam together to realize that. i had thought you two were together-together; you were so close. and i hated myself for feeling that way towards sam’s girl, because as much as i couldn’t stand him, i couldn’t do that to you. even if i told you, it wouldn’t have changed how you felt. at that point, it was too late. i thought you were already his.

“i couldn’t burden you with my feelings, you know? i couldn’t drag you into my mess. so i tried to ignore it, and it didn’t work, because you’re fucking magnetic. you were all i could think about, and i was such a mess for you, and even then, you didn’t care. i was so incapacitated around you,” he sighed, remembering all the times he had embarrassed himself trying to compose himself around you. “and you never noticed. you never looked my way, did you? it was always about sam. i was like some second thought—not that it was your fault. i barged into your life and took up all your time and you still treated me with such kindness and i started to resent you for it. you couldn’t love me, not when you had sam, but you still had me wrapped around your finger and i’d never felt this way before so i panicked. i panicked and retreated to something familiar, which was hate. i decided i hated you.

“so… well, you know the rest. i was so stupid; you made me so nervous and i blamed it on frustration, and you made me feel and i blamed it on anger. it was torture, having to hate you. but if i wasn’t hating you then i’d have to cope with how much i liked you, and that was worse. i’d take whatever i could have, and if that meant having you yell at me and poke my chest and take my breath away, i’d have to be satisfied. but today, you said all those things about me. you ruined all that progress i had made, trying to hate you. it ruined me, all over again. and did you mean them? did you mean them, because if you didn’t i wouldn’t blame you. but i just have to know.”

“i meant every word,” you breathed, so quietly that you were afraid bucky wouldn’t hear. he did, and instead of relief, a look of devastation washed over his face.

“i can’t- you can’t just say those things. this whole time, i thought you loved sam. and i thought i never even had a chance because it didn’t matter how much i loved you when your heart belonged to somebody else. and sam told me you aren’t together, and it doesn’t even matter anymore, because i still don’t have a chance with you, or even a chance of forgiveness; i don’t deserve it—not after everything i’ve done to you.”

you’re sniveling, wiping your eyes with the edge of your sleeve. bucky’s got tears running down his cheeks, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him since he had first come to the tower and had let you comfort him after he woke up from his nightmares. you hadn’t seen any other emotion from him but hatred since then.

“bucky…” you can’t control your arm as it reaches for his face. your hand cups his chin, stubble rubbing against your palm as he closes his eyes and savors the feeling of your skin on his, knowing it’s more than he deserves. your thumb wipes away the tears as they trickle from his closed eyes; they flutter as your fingers move across his skin, sensitive from the emotion. there’s a tear that’s fallen into the corner of his mouth, and you run your finger over his lip to brush it away. he sighs, and the warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine. you’re buzzing with adrenaline.

“bucky, you are such an idiot!” he flinches, looking guilty, and you lower your voice. “no, i don’t mean it like that,” you soothe. “why didn’t you just- do you really mean what you said? that you thought you were a burden? and back there, at the studio, did you really think that i would be so horrified at the idea of loving you? because you’re wrong, bucky, if you think that’s how i feel—god, you’re so stupid and you’re so wrong.” you sniffle, running your hands through your hair. “if you had just told me…”

“i know, i know, and i’m so sorry.” he’s trembling now, sounding on the verge of tears, and you think he might combust with the violence of which his hands are shaking. you take his hands in yours, stopping him from doing the wringing he always does.

“bucky,” you whisper again. it’s the only thing you can think to say before throwing yourself into him, your arms wrapping around his broad back with your hands unable to touch. you use the opportunity to run them up and down his back, your head finding a home in the crook of his shoulder as you try not to ruin his shirt with your tears. one of his arms wraps around yours tentatively, as if he’s afraid to touch you. you bury yourself deeper into him, one hand clutching the fabric of his shirt as if you’re scared he’s going to run away.

“bucky, please don’t leave me,” you whimper, your lips brushing against his neck. that does it for him, and he finally wraps both arms around you and lifts you up until you’re seated on his lap. his feet touch the floor as he’s seated at the edge of your bed, and your legs wrap around him as you face the opposite direction, clinging onto him koala-like.

“i’m never leaving you. i’m never leaving you,” he mutters, and you’re not sure if he’s saying it to you or to himself. “you’re here. i’m here.”

“all i wanted was for you to stay,” you confessed. “and then you left me, and then you hated me, and how was i supposed to cope? i thought i had done something horrible but i couldn’t figure out what, and still, you were so kind to wanda and so cheerful with clint and even opening up to natasha and it was like those first weeks of us being together never happened.” you pulled yourself away from his shoulder to look him in the eye.

“i- i didn’t know.”

“obviously.”

the two of you were silent for a bit, trying to read each others’ eyes, both of which were puffy and red. bucky’s face was in its usual furrow, the line between his eyebrows deep. you smoothed it out with your finger. “your worry wrinkle,” you laughed wetly. he cracked a smile.

“the one thing i didn’t miss was you calling it that.”

“you missed me? ha. softie.”

the two of you breathed in silence, faces inches from each other. his eyelids fluttered, and it was as if you could feel the ghost of his eyelashes tickling your warm cheeks. you could smell the man you had been missing—smoke, cedar, and spice. you refrained from burying your head in his chest and just drowning in the scent of his cologne.

your eyes fell, looking at your thighs wrapped around his hips and watching his chest rise and fall like a metronome, his breaths finally slowing alongside his heart. “i never hated you, you know. i’m pretty sure i made that clear today. at least, i hope i did.” you sighed, still not meeting his eyes. “i hated the fact that you hated me. i guess i wasn’t used to that. i mean, you’re right. i really do want everyone to like me,” you pursed your lips. “and i know that’s unrealistic. but i liked you a lot, bucky, and i thought at first that we could be good friends. so when things started breaking down, i guess i jumped to the conclusion that you just irrationally had it out for me, and i never stopped to ask you why. and i’m sorry too.” you swallowed thickly, realizing how much anger could’ve been avoided these past few months if the two of you had just pushed aside your egos and communicated.

“look at me, please.” bucky cupped your chin with his hand, lifting your face without much force to let you be in control until you finally met his eye. “hey, it’s- we’re gonna be okay.”

“you said you loved me,” you blurted. “earlier.”

“uh, yeah. i did say that.” you were so used to bucky deflecting from his feelings that his admittance made you laugh. oh yes, you laughed. the bashfulness on the 6-foot-something, genetically enhanced, burly, brooding super soldier’s face was enough to break the stoicism of your conversation.

“you love me!” you giggled. “i’m so sorry, i’m not laughing at you. no, i swear, i’m so- this isn’t me mocking you, i-” you gasped for air as the sentiment finally set in. “buck, you love me?”

“yeah, doll, i do. is… is that okay?”

“yeah, bucky, it is.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

masterlist

#bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x gn!reader #bucky barnes self insert #marvel self insert #marvel imagine #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky and reader #enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers fic #bucky barnes enemies to lovers

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lanadelreyscokewhor3 · 3 years

Text

LOVERS ROCK- J.B BARNES

Pairing: 40s Bucky! x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: After sharing a joint with the famous ladies man- Bucky Barnes, the two of you get into a little...trouble involving a bed, and your legs spread wide open.

Warnings: weed usage, oral (fem receiving), edging, squirting, two idiots in love flirting, petnames (jamie, dolly etc), praise kink, bucky is possessive, kinda corruption kink if u squint?

Note: and if u start to kiss... and the record skips, flip it over... and sit a little closer...

The New York air was chilly as you slipped out of the dingy bar and into the night.

Despite the later hour, people continued to bustle, cars driving rapidly down the cobblestone streets. The white ways were burning brightly, illuminating your path down the chipped sidewalk.

Turning off the main street, you let out a sigh of relief as the people began to dwindle. Your street was never that busy, mainly composed of brick apartment buildings and smoky chimneys. The noise simmered down to the sound of your heels on the concrete, the odd conversation between men and women trickling out from the windows above.

As you neared your family’s townhouse, you dug in your purse and pulled out a light. Sliding between the alleyways, you pulled out your matches, lighting the blunt between your lips.

If your mother saw you like this… the scolding wouldn't stop for months. It wasn't lady like. The smell would linger on your dress and your stockings, but you prayed your parents were passed out when you'd slip in the house. Or you could throw your dress out the window to Steve’s, although that wouldn't solve much as he’d be as disappointed as your mother.

Steve was your best friend, and just so happened to be your neighbour. He had been since childhood, so it was only fitting he moved in next to your parents. He lived alone, and you would have too- if it wasn't for lack of funds. Working hard shifts at the local diner could only pay so much.

You sighed as the smoke filled your senses, feeling a sense of calmness surround you. The drugs made your head light, your nerves unfrazzle as you drew in another drawl.

“I didn't take a pretty lil thing like you to be smokin Marry Jane.” a deep voice drawled, Brooklyn accent heavy on his tongue. The infamous Bucky Barnes stood near you, eyebrow raised as he took you in.

Steve's best friend. Well, other best friend.

You had the pleasure of meeting him a few times, his charm and sarcastic wit winning you over. He was a lady's man, full of gentleman tendencies, mixed in with dirty jokes and a sassy attitude. The clean, dark hair and bright blue eyes had drawn you in, his smile charming and beautiful.

Just your type.

“ All pretty things got some poison in them Jamie.” He chuckled at that, walking over to pinch the blunt from your fingers, taking a hit of it himself. “ I suppose you're right dolly. Just imagine the look on Stevie's face if he saw ya like this.”

You laughed, hitting him playfully. “Like what? All fuzzy and red-eyed? He’s seen it before, and I’ve learned not to make that mistake again.” He snorted, exhaling the smoke.

“ Don't blame ya. Come over would cha dame? Steve isn't home and asked me to babysit his limited belongings.” You smiled, leaning off the brick to take his arm, letting him guide you down the dim street.

You didn't know if it was because of the fix, or because you were so close to Bucky, but you felt good. Oh so very good. And why not feel good with Bucky?

“ You gonna woe me over with your dancing Jamie? Lord knows you're a dead hoofer.” The stare that you were met with made you bark out a laugh, his eyes rolling as he walked the two of you up the steps and unlocked the door.

“ That's not what you were sayin the first time we danced together doll.”

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Bucky proved you wrong.

Not with his dancing skills but something far better.

A foot was barely placed in the door before his lips were on yours, your hands running through his hair. Now here you were, high, hot, and horny squirming under him. He had you splayed out on the ruffled sheets, leaving you bare under the glowing moonlight that trickled through the windows.

Time was lost in your mind, jumbled and tossed around with everything else. You couldn't tell if it had been three minutes or three hours as he teased you, bringing himself closer and closer to where you needed him most- and then pulling away.

It was a game of cat and mouse for the man, and the number of orgasms you had almost had, but then had been stolen was beyond counting on two hands.

You were a needy, crying, whining mess. Exactly how Bucky wanted you.

As his fingers trailed down your inner thighs once more, like he was studying every curve, every mark on your skin for the thousandth time that night, the tears began to fall. You were so needy, so desperate- and he wouldn't give in. “Please Jamie I just need you please!” you wailed, tears sliding down your cheeks, the salty taste sliding down to reach your parted swollen lips.

“Don't cry dolly. I’m going to make it all better for you okay? You’ve been so good for me, listening to everything I say.” he cooed, leaning up to brush your lips softly with his thumb. He began to lick your tears as they fell, and you reached up to run your fingers through his soft hair once more.

“Such pretty, pretty tears honey.” he murmured, kissing you gingerly. “Please touch me Jamie. Pretty please.” He chuckled, shuffling down to your thighs, spreading them slowly. He licked his lips at the sight of your dripping heat, his gaze turning predatory.

“You wanna leave a mess for Stevie don't you? Leave him a reminder of something he can't have because it's mine?” His finger teased your hole, swirling around your wetness and smearing it across your quivering thighs. You moaned so loud you were scared your parents would hear as he touched you, the sensation so good it felt euphoric.

“ So responsive..” he clucked his tongue, shuffling around so your thighs wrapped around his head. “Hold on tight dolly.” he smiled, licking you clean with his tongue from top to bottom.

A pornographic wail escaped your lips as you ached your back, digging your fingers through his hair. “Sweet as honey. God damn you're going to be the death of me little dame.” His assaults on your pussy were never-ending, and you felt you were floating on a cloud with the time of day he was giving you. With each swirl of his tongue around your clit you tugged his hair, a growl emitting from him in response.

It became a pattern, little kitten licks, his tongue tasting your aching hole as you whined and squirmed. Each harsh suck on your clit was rewarded with little licks, his touches gentle as you felt release barrel down your spine. “Please please Jamie I’m gonna-”

“Go on and cum for me dolly you’ve been such a good girl waiting.” he praised, kissing your naval gently. You came with a scream, so loud your voice went hoarse as you coated his face in your juices.

“God fuck dolly you squirted.” he chuckled, lapping up your cum as it oozed out of you. He stroked your shaking legs as you floated, whispering soft praises to you that you were so good for him, his sweet girl, so sweet and good.

“I’m s-so so-rry.” you hiccuped, gripping his biceps as he kissed your neck, leaving little marks and bruises.

“ Never apologise. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen dolly, gonna have you creaming my cock now yeah?”

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40s slang:

white ways- street lights

stockings- tights

marry jane- weed

dame- woman

fix- drugs

dead hoofer- a bad dancer

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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly, tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water.

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!”

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.”

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over.

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots.

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.”

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.”

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

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fic-finders · 2 years

Text

Bucky Barnes Found Series

Bucky Barnes x reader:

* Remember Me by @starryevermore

Hey could you find a Bucky x reader fix where the team turns her in to hydra cause they thought she was a part of hydra cause of Sharon but she’s not so now they’re trying to find a way to get her back it’s a series

Do you know a fic that’s a Bucky x reader where it’s like a series but only like two parts of it are written as far as I know and it’s about how hydra kidnapped Natasha and convinced the avengers that the reader is a spy for hydra and then Bucky had to trade in the reader for Natasha only to realize that the reader was innocent Bc Sharon set them up

* Name Calling by @the_sad_hatter on ao3

Hello! I’m looking for an avengers/x-men fic. The reader is a mutant, she has a couple different powers - healing being a big one and then I think some type of psychic like power. I don’t remember a lot of details but something happens and she ends up leaving the tower to go train with the x-men. She’s Logans daughter though she doesn’t know it at first. I’m pretty sure there’s a scene where her ex is visiting and it’s revealed that she and him tried testing the limits of her healing once upon a time by cutting off one of her toes. I can’t remember what avenger she’s with either.

* Feelings Are Fatal by @sunmoonandbucky

Hey i wanted to ask about a bucky imagine where Steve leaves the reader to go to Peggy in the past cause he knows bucky is best for the reader and the reader is an ex widow who was trained by the winter soldier and Natasha helps her escape or something like that.

* Looking For a Heartbeat by @justreadingfics

Hello! I have once read this series of Bucky x reader where she left and broke up bucky for a job (I think it’s still avenger/shield related) far away. then when she came back, Bucky had a cutesy/girlfriend-like relationship with his therapist. (If I remember it correctly her name is Anna), then something happens between the reader and Bucky (who obvi loves each other still). Tension arises and Bucky dates his therapist even though Steve thinks it’s a bad idea (Bc it’s obv that he’s not fully inlove with the therapist). Then the reader ends up being pregnant but Bucky won’t immediately know bc he’s not gonna talk to the reader for a while. Until the reader gets into an accident right before Bucky and his therapist goes out for a vacation. Turns out, the therapist manipulated the situation, by telling the reader that Bucky is better off with her and not the reader etc. Then, Bucky ends his “relationship” with his therapist after knowing he could’ve lost his child and reader. He starts being there for the reader till the baby is born. They “act” like a family even though they haven’t talked abt it. Until one birthday party, their daughter gets kidnapped. They rescue their daughter together, Bucky retires, while the reader still goes on missions/work. And they live happily in the end. I pretty much said the whole story probably, but I can’t seem to find the series itself and I forgot the title or the writer. It’s one of my fave fics yet I can’t seem to remember the title 😭. It would be really great if u could help me find it ☺️

* Say It by @sgtjbuccky

I’m looking for a fic where the reader is mute. Reader is in love with Bucky but he is with Natasha.The 3 of them go on a mission and the reader gives herself to Hydra so Bucky and Natasha can be freed. I’ve found this story twice and have been so enthralled that I haven’t had the chance to like or reblog it and when my phone refreshes I loose it. Rookie error

* Life with Small Reader and Beefy Bucky by @starsvck

There was this beefy bucky x tiny reader fic with 40+ chapters I found on ao3. I think its also crossed here on tumblr, I remember the author saying they had a tumblr account but I just can’t remember it. It’s basically just a compilation of short drabbles about tiny reader and bucky. I remember one of the chapters where a pregnant tiny was scared that her kid is going to ruin her bc it’s going to be like bucky (big) and one chapter where they fail to have seggs because she’s too tiny for his peen. Do you know it by any chance?

* Find A Way by @gimmesomebucky

Do you know this Bucky x reader series where reader is like a cat and she transforms to different cats and her and Bucky get closer and like when she’s done with a cat phase something like that she has to go I’ve been trying to look for it

* Appointments by @buckycuddlebuddy

Hi! I’m looking for a Bucky series to reread. It was called Appointments but I cannot remember who was the writer. If anyone knows who it was who wrote it, I gladly appreciate it! ❤️

* Heart & Soul by @all1e23

hi! i was looking for this one bucky barnes x reader fic and i just can’t find it. it’s an a/b/o fic with alpha!bucky and omega!reader. reader was in a previous shitty relationship with brock and now doesn’t trust alphas. bucky is a detective. and they’re true mates even though reader doesn’t believe in that. i also remember stony being a ship (alpha!steve and omega!tony) and they were also detectives. thank you so much if you do find it

* Swallow by @all1e23

I'm looking for this biker!bucky fic where he calls the reader dove and they both have dove tattoos on the back of their hands but the reader breaks up with him and moves away but the she comes back but she covers up the dove tattoo and for some reason I vividly remember it's been a while by staind being played in it but that's all I got dude

* Treasure by @winterdrag0n

Hey, I’m looking for a Bucky Barnes x reader fic. It’s an AU where reader is an ex-air force mechanic and she volunteers at an animal shelter. She meets Steve Rogers because he’s a veterinarian and takes care of one of the dogs at the shelter. She was sexually assaulted when she was young by her step father. She spent time in the Air Force where she met Bucky and they had a connection but didn’t keep in touch after the three days they spent together. Steve and her end up dating and then she meets Bucky again at his birthday party. If you can help me find it that would be awesome. Thanks for even taking time to read this

* Baby’s First by @buckybarnesthehotshot

hi i was looking to see if you can find something it’s was basically like bucky had a baby with dot but she decided she didn’t want the baby or him anymore so bucky and the reader are roommates along with the baby and all else i can remember is she refers to the baby as a burrito baby

* The Carry On by @sestra-inestro

hiiii, how are you? i’m looking for a mafia/mob!bucky x reader fic where the reader gets accused of being a rat to bucky’s business and he goes and beats her around and shoots her dog. but she wasn’t actually the rat and she leaves him for his treatment towards her? i actually think it might be a mini series?

OH AND SHE BECOMES A VETERINARIAN!

* Wanna Be Yours by @thewildthornberrys

Hello I'm looking for a Bucky fic, he's a Mob Boss and reader was hired as his maid and they're together but Reader's old friend Billy Russo got out of prison and is trying to take his power and is breaking into Bucky's warehouses and the last chapter I remember reading is where reader agrees to meet up with Billy and after she complies and hangs out with him all day, she tries to leave and he says he can't let her do that. Its driving me crazy that I can't find it so if you could help I would appreciate it greatly 😁

* Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations

hi I remember reading a series with lumberjack!Bucky X reader where the reader escapes the city and moves to a little town in the mountains and finds Bucky, she works as I librarian etc, but I can't remember the name, he took her to a little diner and the taxi drivers name was Stan but that's all I remember and I really wanna read it again :) thanks

* Bags of Tricks by @heli0s-writes

there’s like this masterlist of mini posts about a spoiled brat reader who i believe is younger with Bucky and she’s referred to as cd do you remember who wrote it??? one of the posts was about her eating her allergies and one about her eating cake in the middle of a mission. thank u

* Babydoll by @buckylove123

Hi! I have been looking for a Bucky Barnes x reader imagine where the reader was kidnapped by her ex boyfriend. When Bucky was saving her he was strapped to a chair and he had to watch the ex rape the reader. Eventually they escaped and he help the reader deal with the trauma because she was brainwashed by the ex to be obedient. I also remember there was a moment when Bucky told her to lay on the bed and she wait for him to tie her to the bed because that's what her ex did. Thank you :)

* My Eyes by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Bucky sees the reader at a farmer’s market and instantly feels drawn to her, but upon arriving to the compound Steve introduces Buck to his girlfriend and lo & behold it’s you. He buries his feelings deep. I don’t remember if he’s mean to her or not, I feel like he was?

Anyway, Steve goes on a mission and gets fatally injured. He makes it back to the compound and she tells him she’s pregnant. But, he dies. Reader is upset because “we can’t even bury him, can we?” because there’s the risk of his body being dug up from the serum. So, she basically tells Bucky she’s going to get an abortion and then she disappears.

Years later, Bucky finds her and turns out she did have Steve’s kid. Kid’s name is Jamie. The rest of the team finds out (I think because Tony follows Bucky) but she is very much protective of her kid. Refuses to really talk about Steve, and for along time is stubborn about letting the Avengers into her kid’s life. Bucky secretly teaches Jamie about how to defend himself. Very very grief.

I think at one point she dates a guy who like abuses her? I think? And little Jamie calls Bucky.

It’s kind of a slow burn, sorta. Eventually Bucky does admit that he’s always loved her. She tells him she’s actually a mutant— empath, she held Steve’s hand and took his pain as he died. Bucky ends up staying with her. Later chapters they move back to New York or whatever because Jamie’s mutant powers manifest and he can make himself bulletproof or phase through walls. Eventually word gets out about her & Steve’s relationship, and Jamie gets into fights about what people say about his mom. Bucky and her have a daughter together, but she does get kidnapped at one point and Jamie ends up demanding that he go with to rescue his mom.

* Let Me Come Home by @buckysho

hello do you know the fic where y/n is in a big shot city (probably new york) but she has to go back to her small town bc her sister is getting married and she encounters her past, bucky, and they have this sort of fr/enemie relationship growing up. in the reunion, the parents threw a barbecue for them in light of y/n coming back. then she and bucky had this banter moment where his nickname was buck bc he had buck teeth before LOL

then at one point bucky invited everyone and his friends to this photography showing and it turns out it was all pictures that he took and the main picture that he showcased was of the reader n reader got really confused about it and all but they became closer after that. then reader asks bucky why he doesnt show it to the world or something and bucky says that he thinks the small town id where he’ll ever be.

then reader had to leave or something (idk if she left on good terms with bucjy) but the ending was she saw this photo in ney york and it looked eerily familiar and turns out bucjy was in new york finally chasing his dreams

* Jumping Universes by @buckybarnesandmarvel

Hiya!There was a fic called "Jumping Universe" where reader is from the real world and with some technology is sent to the MCU, but the technology malfunctions and she's now stuck there. She thinks she has no powers, but turns out that in the MCU she does. Pairing will be Bucky x reader, but it didn't get to that part yet last I checked. I just can't remember the name of the author anymore...

* Codename Lazarus by @sagechanoafterdark

do you know who writes the code name lazarus fic? it’s bucky x reader

* If only You Were Mine by @bbgem329

hi!! i’m looking for this fic called if only you were mine? i’m not sure but i can’t find it anywhere, it’s a bucky fic

bucky was with the readers sister i think her name was carly, they met when r’s sister introduced him as her bf, five years or so later bucky and r sleep together and r is pregnant and there’s a lot of drama with her family.

i’m sorry if that wasn’t too helpful, that’s all i can remember from the fic

* Steel Blue by @youlightmeupfinn

I am looking for a fic called steal blue or something. I know that it was professor bucky and reader was pregnant with twins. I haven't been able to find it lately

* Back To You by @celestialbarnes

I have been looking for this series I’m not sure if you know it? Basically it’s an ex!bucky x ready fic but the reader has been kicked out of her home so she calls bucky and bucky says she can stay with him but it turns out bucky is in a relationship and living with his new girlfriend dot.

* Mais Charmante by @sunmoonandbucky

hi! I was looking for a Bucky x reader smau. It was a series and I think it was called mais charmante or something. Bucky was a CEO of a company and the reader was in college. Bucky became the readers sugar daddy but they caught feelings. Rumlow was also in it. He was partners with the reader in drama and he was also a stalker of hers for years. She was also friends with Peter and mj.

* Next to me by @sgtjbuccky

There’s a fic I’ve been looking for where the reader has a twin sister, whom they call T I think, and her parents (especially her dad) prioritize her over Reader. Reader is really smart and is in danger but everyone thinks it’s T who’s in danger and hire Bucky as a bodyguard. At the end I think that their mother is behind all of it?

* This Love by @urimaginespimp

the description is a bit too long so here it the link X

* Safe With Me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

I’m searching for a Bucky fic, where Bucky still reacts to the trigger words but in the story they start to develop new words that he is suppose to repeat in his head I think so that the original trigger words aren’t working anymore. In the last chapter I think that hydra did say the trigger words over speakers and Bucky did the new ones and the reader is in danger and I think that he is asking the winter soldier in his head to do everything to protect the reader? But the WS isn’t taking over fully and can’t be controlled by hydra.

* All That’s Best of Dark and Bright by @ursulaismymiddlename

Hey, there’s this fic I was reading about Bucky. Basically he gets sent to live with Sams friend, Steve is still alive and reader helps him through his trauma. I lost it in the middle of reading it. :( do you think you could find it? Thank youu

* The Mess by @sanguineterrain

okay so there's this fic that exists on the author's masterlist on Tumblr but actually links to ao3, kinda enemies to idiots to lovers where them (F Avenger reader) and Bucky get drunk and accidently married in Vegas after a mission and it kinda goes from there.

* Love = Friends by @ambrosiase

i was reading a ff of bucky x reader were they had only sex relationship bc he was actually in love with nat and i cannot find ir anymore, do u know any of those accounts that find fanfics?

* Bodyguard by @oliverwxod

Hi! Love love loooooooove you blog! I’m looking for a fic it’s a series I think it’s bodyguard Bucky. He is protecting yn from something and his phone is always ringing but he never picks up. Fast forward he sleeps with yn one night and the day after they are in the car and his phone is ringing and yn asks who is calling him so much and turns out it’s his wife. I don’t remember much more.

* The Caretaker by @you-are-my-sanctuary

a mob!bucky one where he is a single father of a 1 or 2 year old boy and has trouble with nannies and reader is the chef or one of his cooks and the child only calms down when she is carrying him and then bucky said that now her job is being the nanny, i think it was a synopsis or first chapter

* Guiding Light by @wkemeup

The reader and bucky are close friends. they go on a mission where Hydra takes the reader as captive. Bucky loses his shit ofc. Basically the whole series is set with reader being tortured by hydra, they try to make another winter solider out of her. there was also a kid named Danny if im not wrong. hydra used him to get information from the reader and he is killed later. They also fake the reader's death and bucky goes on rampage to kill each and every hydra official until steve and sam stop him and bring him home

* Disappear by @sebbys-girl

a Bucky x reader where they used to be together but he pushed her away and said some horrible things to get her to leave and then it’s been a few years and the team she is working with now have to work with the avengers so she comes back. She used to be really close to Clint and Nat and she left without telling them or contacting them (becuase Bucky said something to her that was to do with them so she felt she couldn’t contact them) and she now has panic attacks that tony helps with untill her team comes out to meet her and it turns out she’s married to one of her team mates (but it turns out to be a fake marriage)

* Safe With Me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

where Bucky still reacts to the trigger words but in the story they start to develop new words that he is suppose to repeat in his head I think so that the original trigger words aren’t working anymore. In the last chapter I think that hydra did say the trigger words over speakers and Bucky did the new ones and the reader is in danger and I think that he is asking the winter soldier in his head to do everything to protect the reader? But the WS isn’t taking over fully and can’t be controlled by hydra

* Your Hand Have Made Some Good Mistakes by @thenhewaswrongaboutme

I’m looking for a fix where Bucky was stuck in an apartment and the reader was hired to basically be a babysitter while the team went on a mission? I think Bucky and Steve also had a romantic history. It had a long title

* His Wedding by @jurassicbarnes-archives / @jurassicbarnes

a Bucky X Reader Modern AU. Bucky and Reader used to date but broke up bc he found someone else. A few years later, Bucky and the girl are getting married and Bucky asked Reader to plan the event and all

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky series #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut

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the-iceni-bitch · 3 years

Text

The Bachelor Disaster

Part II/II

Pairing: dilf!Steve Rogers x tattoo artist fem!reader, implied slutty!Bucky Barnes x soft!dom Thor Odinson

Words: ~1.3k

Summary: The boys make it to the hospital just in time.

Warnings: explicit language, mentions of attempted public sex, Bucky still making bad decisions but he’s cute so we forgive, everyone loves Thor, kink activation for Steve, 18+ ONLY!!!

A/U: Only a little late but I did it!! Just had a few scenes I had to get out before the wedding and the very eventful wedding night 😘

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

They managed to make it to the hospital in just under two hours, this in spite of Bucky trying to repeatedly drag Thor to the plane’s bathroom so they could finish what they had started even with everyone scolding him nonstop about how his being a slut was going to end up getting him killed and the giant blonde telling him that if he couldn’t get ahold of himself he was going to spank him in front of all of their friends.

But now Steve was dragging him through the maternity ward’s waiting room while Connor sprinted ahead of all of them once they finally found out what room Becca was in, ignoring his best friend’s pleas to protect him from whatever punishment his mother was going to inflict on him. Bucky almost made a run for it when Winnie came storming out after Connor made his way back to the delivery room, but then Steve spotted you sitting across the lobby and shoved Bucky at his mother without thought when you smiled at him.

“Toronto? Toronto?!” Winnie grabbed Bucky’s ear and yanked when he tried to back away as he struggled to stammer out an explanation. “I sure hope whoever you were trying to get under was worth me and your sister wanting to kill you.”

“Ah, Mrs. Barnes, I’m afraid I’m to blame for this whole mess.” Winnie froze when Thor wandered up to them and gave her a very charming smile, squeaking when he clasped her free hand in his and squeezed it warmly. “I’m the one who flew everyone to Canada on a whim with just the barest suggestion from James here, I feel truly terrible. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you. Congratulations on your grandchildren. I will talk to you later, James.”

Both Winnie and Bucky watched Thor in silence as he sauntered away after kissing Bucky’s hair, her hold on Bucky’s ear not relaxing until he let out a pained whine and they both came back to themselves.

“He’s… very handsome.” Winnie frowned at Bucky when he just gave her a sheepish grin. “Oh for… just go see your sister, always an idiot for a pretty smile.”

Steve chuckled as he watched Winnie shove Buck back towards the delivery room, winding his arms around you and purring when you rose on your toes to kiss his cheek.

“Hi Stevie.” You hummed when he wound his arms around you and bent to bury his face in your neck. “Sorry your party got ruined.”

“It’s ok, doll, missed you.” He rubbed his nose over yours and grinned when you let out a squeak as he squeezed you. “How was your party?”

“The spa was amazing, thank god Becca didn’t go into labor until we were done.” You sighed into his mouth when he brushed his lips over yours. “I think she might have died if her water broke on the massage chair while she was getting a pedicure.”

“Well, I’m sorry your weekend of relaxation got derailed.” Steve couldn’t stop humming happily into your mouth as he kept his lips slotted against yours, his big arms squeezing you tight and his face split in a warm grin as you kept your eyes fixed on his. “But all the changes are kinda exciting. Beck’s gonna be a mom, Bucky’s gonna be an uncle, and you… you, doll, you’re gonna be my wife. In two days, I’m gonna marry you.”

“Is it weird that the most surprising out of all of those is that Bucky’s gonna be an uncle?” You giggled when he shook his head and kissed you again. “Can’t wait to marry you, Stevie.”

He was about to mirror the sentiment when Bucky burst into the waiting area looking both ecstatic and nauseated, whooping excitedly and sprinting towards you and Steve before jumping into Steve’s arms.

“Holy shit, I’m a fucking uncle!” You laughed when Bucky let Steve sweep him off his feet and swing him around, the brunette beaming at you and scrunching up his nose while Steve kissed his cheeks. “Fuck me, this is a lot of responsibility, I dunno if I’m ready for it. Jesus, I might throw up.”

“Do not throw up on me Barnes.” Steve set Bucky down and kissed the top of his head, grinning when his friend wobbled a little bit. “You’re gonna do fine. How’s Becks?”

“Well, the good news is that the drugs and the fact that she just popped out two tiny people made her forget how much she should want to kill me.” Bucky ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, his eyes roaming over the lobby aimlessly like he wasn’t looking for some blonde giant to celebrate with. “Becca asked for you, gorgeous, said you were her rock tonight so she wants you and that dumb blonde you’re marrying… what?” Bucky gave Steve a look of innocence when he swatted his shoulder. “She said it, not me. Anyway, she wants you to meet the little dudes first.”

“Really?” Bucky winked and nodded at you, giving Steve one more squeeze before letting him go as they watched you head back to the delivery room.

“Where’s Thor?”

“Christ, you’re not gonna fuck him in a hospital after your sister just gave birth to your nephews.” Steve shook his head when Bucky gave a nervous titter and tried to scurry away. “It’s not gonna happen, the man is trying to make a good impression on your family for some reason, quit being a slut. Why don’t you go think about changing your first dirty diaper?”

Steve laughed when he watched all the blood drain from Bucky’s face, rushing to follow after you and washing his hands before heading to Becca’s room. He had thought he was fully prepared for whatever was going to be waiting for him, but then he walked through the door and he felt like he’d been hit in the gut with a brick.

“Hi baby, this is Asher .” You grinned at Steve while he just stood in the door blinking at you, bouncing the baby in your arms with a huge grin on your face and nodding toward the little bundle that was in the tiny bed in front of you. “And that’s Nathan. Why don’t you come say hi?”

The sight of you with a brand new baby in your arms was sending him reeling. He’d definitely felt something like this before, every time you held Sarah or made her laugh or all three of you snuggled under a blanket while you watched a movie, for some reason he just ended up almost driving you through the headboard once Sarah finally fell asleep.

But that was nothing compared to what he felt right now.

A baby… a fucking baby. You… with a baby. His brain wasn’t able to function properly with the visual it was presented with, all he could think of was you with his baby, a baby that the two of you made together, and exactly how you would look while the two of you made that baby, your sweat soaked body pinned underneath his while he drove into you deep and swallowed every desperate noise you made while he filled your sweet little pussy over and over and over again until it took.

He was going to pass out.

“Steve?” You were giving him a curious look as you continued bouncing little Asher, smiling when he finally managed to come back to himself a bit and let out a small grunt of acknowledgement. “Come hold this baby, Stevie. Almost makes you want one, huh?”

He almost choked on his tongue, managing to pass it off as a chuckle at your joke (or maybe not a joke, god he hoped it wasn’t). Shit, he needed to get you off your birth control.

#natalie writes #goddamn prince charming looking d.i.l.f.#d.i.l.f. steve rogers #steve rogers #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #single dilf steve rogers x tattoo artist!fem reader #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans character #eighteen and over #eighteen plus

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ramp-it-up · 3 years

Text

...And Forever

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Enhanced!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

AU: MCU A/U, after TFATWS

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Read at your own risk. Alternate MCU facts/timeline, lies, cursing, angst, oral, (F, M receiving) fingering, spit play rank kink, size kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up!), sex on a pool table, semi-public sex, a special surprise, stalker-ish behavior, almost Dark!Steve? Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N: I am an MCU nerd but not a timeline detail gal. Please forgive me if the timeline is off. This is an alternate universe and a work of fiction. Please have fun with it! This is the second part to Always. Enjoy!

---------------------

You opened your eyes to see that you were in what looked like a break room. There was a coffee machine, a round table with five chairs, a row of lockers, two Captain Americas, and a Winter Soldier.

There was some strange conversation going on.

“Then who gave me the shield at the lake…?”

Sam was questioning Steve, but he stopped talking when you started moving around. You must have still been in the wedding venue, because you saw the name of the historic building on various items in the room.

You scowled up at Sam, Bucky and Steve.

You moved to sit up and Steve was at your side. “Easy…”

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

You squinted at Steve. His hair was shorter and he was clean shaven, but he was still gorgeous. Those blue eyes were full of concern.

You raised your hand, and he held it, holding it and caressing it as you raised it to his face.

“Is it really you?”

Steve smiled ruefully at you. “Yeah, it’s me.”

You held his cheek and looked at him, bringing your other hand up to the other side of his face. He smiled at you.

You grabbed him and hugged him hard, and then pulled back again as he held you in his arms. He moved back and pursed those ruby red lips.

You had this irresistible urge to...slap the shit out of him. And so you did.

The sound reverberated in the room. Steve just stared up at you, with that fucking beautiful face, and then smiled, rubbing his jaw as if it hurt.

But you knew it didn’t. And you were tired of the bullshit.

Sam and Bucky moved to calm you down, but you were too quick for them, pacing to the other side of the room.

“All of you can stay the hell away from me. Y’all have some fuckin nerve. Especially you, Steven.”

Your Houston accent was shining through with your anger.

“Wow, Sweetheart, that was harsh. But I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

You pointed at Steve.

“Fuck you.”

You were seething, especially when he raised his eyebrow at your comment. But he quickly fixed his face when he saw the rage on yours. You looked at Sam, who just looked down, and at Bucky, who looked like he was in pain.

Fuck thier feelings.

“I deserve your anger. I didn't tell…” Steve tried it.

“You don’t deserve a got damn thing. Not even my anger.”

Steve was stone faced at your vitriol. You were shaking, trying to control your emotions and not cry. You were so hot. You fought to keep your voice steady.

“I thought you were dead.” It came out as a ragged whisper. But you knew everyone heard you.

Your voice was low, even, and scary. Bucky looked at you with wide eyes. Your own were brimming with tears.

“I thought you were dead and that they didn’t want to tell me.”

You waved your hand at Bucky and Sam. And you waited until Steve looked you in the eyes again.

“I thought you were in prison, that someone, on some alien star, forced you to play some sick gladiator games. Or that HYDRA was still around and they turned you into an agent for them. Or that you lost your memory in the blip. So many scenarios played in my mind, Steven.”

Steve knew better than to talk. This was his time to listen.

“But I never ever once thought that you chose this. Never thought it was your choice to leave and to stay away.”

“Listen…” Sam started speaking.

“Shut the fuck UP, Samuel.”

If you had Bucky’s knives, all of them would be seriously injured right now.

“You knew that he was alive and you didn’t tell me. Despite me begging for any kind of information.”

Sam just pursed his lips and returned your glare. You were right.

You went and stood in front of Bucky.

“James…”

He looked at you, those pained eyes making your stomach flip.

“How could you? You knew?”

He just stared at you. Retreating into not speaking.

Steve spoke up.

“Yes, I left. Yes, it was my choice. I thought I could… Well, let’s just say that hindsight is 20/20 and you can’t ever go back. I swore Sam and Buck to secrecy and I asked them to take care of you. This all just got out of hand. Didn’t it Buck?”

You watched Steve in disbelief and you swiveled your head toward Bucky and Sam again.

“You both lied to me. And Sam. Did you tell Steve to come back and ruin my life?”

Sam scoffed, offended. “No. I didn’t. S.H.I.E.L.D gave Steve quarterly updates. You and Bucky happened so fast…”

You ignored his explanation.

“But you knew exactly where he’d gone.”

“Yes.” Sam was cornered.

You turned back to Bucky.

“I asked you a question earlier. Did you know?”

He nodded, imperceptibly. “Doll… I…”

“James Buchanan Barnes. You knew?” Your heart was breaking even more than it was.

“Yes, but it’s complicated. He didn’t come back, at least not the way he left, and I thought it was a done deal. I thought he found…”

You interrupted him.

“What. Happiness?”

You turned back to Steve. “Is that what you were looking for, Steve? Happiness?”

“Sweetheart, you made me happy, I just had the chance to finally settle some unfinished business.”

You nodded.

“So James here took advantage of your little vacation to get with his best friend's girl while you explored your other options. Cool.”

It was not cool.

“Do you remember when you asked me if you could trust me, Steve?”

He just gave a little smile and came to stand before you, looking down at you in that way of his. He was trying to shake you. You were unshakeable. You raised your chin and looked right in his eyes.

“What you don’t understand is that you can’t pick and choose the pieces of life that you want, Steven.”

You moved away from all of them. Steve stepped toward you, but stopped when you held up your hand.

“I’ve lived my life for everyone else, for this country, for as long as I can remember. I deserve a little piece of life, Sweetheart.”

Steve really believed what he was saying.

“What about me? Do I get a choice?”

Steve looked around at his two best friends, who were now best friends, and his best girl.

“You’re right. I think you should. You should choose.”

Your mouth hinged open. You spoke at the wall, then looked at Bucky.

“What about you, James? Do I need to choose?”

Bucky walked in front of you

“No Doll. You don’t have to choose.”

You looked up into his eyes. Damn, he looked so handsome in his bespoke grey suit that he chose for the wedding. And the tie that you gave him set off his eyes.

“I just…. I just wanted a piece of happiness too. I knew you were Steve’s girl.” He took both of your hands in his.

“I don’t deserve you. When Steve didn’t come back, and you and I connected, I couldn’t help it. I was just going to keep an eye out, but…”

He gave you that cute little side smile of his. And then he kissed you. It was short and sweet and oh so hot. You looked up at him, shook to the core. And then he ruined it all.

“I love you Doll. It was nice while it lasted.”

Bucky was giving up.

You nodded and backed away. Not believing this situation.

“Ok. I’m making my choice.”

You raised your chin and looked at Steve and Bucky.

“I’m not some fucking marble that you pass around, play with, and trade with your friend.”

You took a deep breath. “I choose me.”

You were gone in a flash, before they could even register it. And although they ran, they couldn’t catch you before you were out of reach.

-----

Three months later, you walked through the late August soup of Houston heat to the bar, pausing when you thought you heard footfalls behind you. You used your speed to zip along to Willy’s; you were safe there.

You were back sharking with the best of them. But your training was put to good use. You never got burned and you never got caught. You were making a good living.

There were a jumble of misfit super humans who had gathered there with you. You were a leader now. And you were doing well on your own. It was a life.

You already knew he was coming, and maybe that’s why you moved to the back room to play.

You were prepared, but when you felt him, you still lost your breath. But you recovered quickly, straightening your spine, despite the fact that he was standing so close to you.

You looked at the dartboard on the wall across from you and chalked your cue.

“Don’t you have other things to take care of? Other wheres? Other whens maybe?”

You learned more about time travel since you’d left New York, and you understood more of what happened.

The Avengers had access to time travel. If only you could go back… but no. You were stronger than those men. You could live with your decisions. And move forward.

“No. What I need to take care of is right here. Right now.”

His deep growl stirred something inside you, and you fought your body, which was becoming moist at his proximity.

You bent over the table, super soldier dick poking you in the ass before you drew your pool cue back sharply into his stomach. Abs of steel met the cue and nearly broke it. He just stepped aside and shook his head at you.

You turned your head to look into his aqua blue eyes and you fell in love all over again. Shit.

You gave up and turned around, leaning back against the pool table, because he wasn’t giving an inch, not moving from your space.

You scanned the room and your people were watching, but keeping your distance. They all knew who he was, and your history. They gave you space, but wouldn’t let you be hurt without a fight. You nodded at them and they all went to the front, giving you more privacy.

He nodded in their direction.

“People fall under your spell fast, I know that all too well. They trust you.”

You lifted your head. “I’ve never done anything to make them not trust me.”

He sighed. “Point taken.”

“Why did you come here? I know that you’ve known where I was. Sam must have told you.”

“I’ve known where you were. How could I not? I didn’t need Sam to tell me. It’s not like you were trying to hide.”

He cocked his head at you.

“But the reason that I’m here, now, is that I’ve always been slow at math. And I just put two and two together.”

You smirked up at him. “You’re right. This is home. A leopard doesn’t change her stripes.”

He just chuckled at your evasion.

“You wanna play a game?”

His eyes followed you, undeterred by your challenge.

You walked around to the other side of the table, leaned over and gathered the balls to be racked.

You held two in one hand and looked at him. He smiled and the electricity at the small of your back was everything. He slowly walked around to you as you racked them.

He took in your form (including your ample cleavage) as you bent over the table and your mouth as you said the word, “Break.”

“I’m tired of playing games, Doll. I’m just here to win you back.”

You turned around and faced him, looking up at him, now aware of his smell. You closed your eyes and inhaled leather and metal. You opened them again and his eyes were blazing.

“James.. I”

Bucky grabbed your face, hands gently cradling your head, and cut you off with a kiss, his lips gentle at first. Then his hands moved to your hips and lifted you onto the table. He slotted himself in between your thighs, your bodies separated by the same brand of black denim.

His lips and tongue seemed determined to possess you. Bucky kissed and felt your body like he hadn’t in a lifetime. His hands roamed you like they were starved from touching you.

Your hands were on his neck and in his hair, relishing the feel of him. You’d missed him so fucking much. You drew apart, and his breath fanned your face as you two panted together, his forehead resting on yours.

“I am never going to let you go again.”

“James…”

“Hold on Doll, I’ve got to say this.”

He smiled and gave you another quick peck. You nodded, solemn.

“I said the wrong thing back in Brooklyn. I don’t care that you were with him first. I don’t care if you think that you might want to be with him. When I fell for you, I fell harder than I ever have. Even from the train.”

He was whispering the words you wanted to hear months ago, causing you to cry. But a lot of things caused you to cry lately.

Bucky smiled at you, his eyes crinkling in that adorable way that you loved. You opened your mouth to speak and he kissed you, silencing you again. You responded with a smile. He continued.

“I know that you think that I folded and just gave up on you on our wedding day. I was just thinking that I don’t deserve you. Especially next to Steve. I mean, you won’t find a better man. But in the time since, I’ve realized, even though it’s hard. I’m a good man too.”

“You are, James…”

“You helped me come to terms with everything that’s happened. Sam has helped me deal with everything I did...and I’m not perfect, and neither are you, but we can be perfect for each other.”

You nodded, smiling a little.

“I’m in love with you and I deserve you. You deserve me. We deserve each other. And I’m not saying this because I think you saved me. But you are the strongest woman I know, enough to be with me when I am weak. I figured out that I can be strong for you too. I have to be now. I am so sorry that I let you walk away. But I’m not going to let you out of my sight now, even if you don’t want to be with me. But I am asking you, again. Be my family. Make one with me. Choose me.”

You shook your head as tears fell from your eyes.

“James Barnes, there was never ever any choice. It’s you. It will be you. Forever.”

Bucky let out a sigh of relief and started kissing you all over your face, down your neck and into your cleavage.

“I was scared shitless, Doll! I love you so much,…”

You kissed him now, your hands under his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders. Next, you went under his shirt, feeling his nipples, playing with them as he shuddered. Then your hands went up to one cold shoulder and one warm, grasping them as he ground his hard jeans covered crotch into yours.

“Too many clothes.”

You ended up helping him pull his shirt over his head. You trailed your hand back down his abs to the button on his jeans.

“I missed you James. My hormones are going crazy, Baby…”

His eyes got wide as you popped the top button and bit your lip. Bucky moaned. He was about to explode just being near you.

“Th-that’s what we need to talk about…”

“Talk later. Fuck. Now.”

Bucky looked over your shoulder to the other room. To his surprise, the door was now closed.

“Wow, they…”

You hopped down from the table and got on your knees in front of him.

“You gonna let me suck your dick or not James?”

He looked down at you smirking up at him and could feel himself leaking in his jeans. Three months of his hand had been torture, thinking of you.

It seemed as if he unfastened and pulled himself out without knowing. For a moment he feared mind control.

But it was just love and lust.

You grasped him, testing his girth and admiring how your fingers did not meet around his cock.

“Mmmmmmmm,” you moaned while you thumbed his tip, collecting the pre-cum and lubricating him as you pumped.

He stared at you, slack jawed and sexy as he watched you. He reached down and put his hand in your hair, massaging your scalp.

You commanded him. “Eyes on me, Sergeant.”

Bucky locked eyes with you and watched as you licked your lips, opened your mouth, and spit on his cock.

“Fuck.”

You pumped him a couple of times before you opened wide and took him as deep as you could, relishing the feel of his wide, smooth, hard unit in your mouth. You pulled off of him with a pop.

“Damn I missed this dick.”

Then you deep throated him again, making Bucky have to hold on to the side of the pool table as he held your head while you spluttered around him.

“And I missed your pretty little mouth, Doll. Damn.” He watched as you did it a few more times.

When you looked up and he saw your ruined face, Bucky went feral.

He pulled you up by your shirt, pulling it over your head and wiping your face with it. Then he kissed you.

“Fucking love how you do that, Doll.”

He started kissing down your chest, pulling your breasts out of your bra, pinching and rolling your nipples gently, a little more carefully than usual. He looked at you knowingly as you squirmed in pleasure.

“I’ve been doing my research.”

Then, he leaned down and suckled them with that mouth until you almost came, writhing in his arms. Bucky unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down, kneeling, and staring up at you as you leaned against the green felt table.

You stepped out of your jeans and panties and watched as his flesh hand glided from your ankle to your ass, palming it and then sliding back down as he lifted your thigh on his shoulder. You shuddered as you could feel his breath on your cunt.

“I’ve been dreaming of this.”

His eyes held yours as he leaned in for a kiss, then a long wet lick of your cunt. You grabbed his brown hair as his blue eyes hypnotized you and as he ate you out. When his metal fingers came up, whirring, you started begging.

“Please, James…please…please…..”

He laughed, mouth still fucking your pussy. He pulled away, chin glistening with your juices. His fingers began pumping inside you, the vibration driving you up the wall.

“Are you begging me to stop, or to continue, Doll? Talk to me.”

“Unnnh, unnnnh, oooohhh shittttt. Don’t ever stop.”

And then you came all over his face, Bucky slurping it up happily. He stood up, taking you with him and maneuvering you so that you could feel his thick tip at your hole before it breached you.

Bucky’s cock stretched you out and made you see stars as you slid down his thick pole while he was standing up, pumping inside you as he deposited you on the table.

You wrapped around him like a vine as he held you, cock pounding from the feeling of being inside you again. He pulled back to kiss you again. He was grunting in his throat as he tried to speak.

“Fuck you feel so good...Fair warning, Doll. I’m not going to last. Been too long.”

You let go of him, and leaned back on the felt, arms braced behind you as you replied, “Just fuck me James.”

Bucky took in your body, from where you were connected up your torso to your breasts and the beautiful fucked out look on your face and started moving.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkk.” You took him, looking down to see the impossible stretch.

“Yeah, look at that. Looks and feels so damn good, doesn’t it, Doll? How the fuck are you so… so… fucking… tight….?”

“Yes, fuck, James, FUCKKKKK.”

All nerves were in your cunt as you went down to your elbows, and then to your back flat on the slate table, pool balls going everywhere.

Bucky pulled your hips off the table and really started digging in, hips snapping at a frenzied pace as his metal hand slid down your body. You could tell that he was almost there.

“Cum with me Doll.”

When that metal thumb touched your clit, it was over. You came as soon as you felt his white hot ropes of cum drench your walls. You closed your eyes for just a second, and then opened your eyes wide.

‘Why am I curled up on a pool table after being fucked by my 106 year old fiance? What is life?”

Bucky laughed as he pulled his shirt over his head and helped you off the table. He looked around, going to get you a bottle of water from the vending machine.

“You good?”

Bucky eyed you as you got your clothes together. He leaned next to you as he watched you drink the water.

“Baby okay?”

You ducked your head, smiled and grabbed his hand, putting it on your slightly rounded stomach.

“Yeah. I can feel him moving around. Can you feel that?”

Bucky just stared at his hand, then at your face.

“Not really… Him?” He was astounded.

“That’s normal. I’m gonna be able to feel him before you can, And yeah, Him.”

You turned more fully toward Bucky and he took you in his arms.

“I had all kinds of tests, to make sure that he was okay. I wanted to know if… if what they did to me would affect…. “

You shook your head, then smiled up at Bucky.

“He’s healthy. I’m 20 weeks. I figured we’d call him Jamie?”

Bucky beamed at you and nodded.

“How did you know?”

“Well, I figured out that you didn’t faint at the wedding just because of Steve. Why didn’t you tell me, Doll?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Are you really asking me that question?”

Bucky blanched and you decided not to be salty.

“Well, At first, I didn’t want you to feel trapped. I was so happy that you asked me and didn’t know.” You beamed at him. “ But then…” Your smile faded.

“I’m an idiot, Doll. Forgive me. It’s me and you. And Jamie. Forever.”

You two shared the kiss you missed at the altar. It was going to be okay.

“Now, let’s go get some food. I know you’re hungry.”

You laughed as you punched his arm.

“Ass. But you’re right.”

You two walked down the street to Ninfa’s Restaurant hand in hand. Bucky turned his head and gave an imperceptible nod as you two passed by an alley/

Steve returned the greeting as he stepped out and watched you and Bucky make your way down the street.

“That’s okay Sweetheart,” he whispered. “Buck’s a good man. But I know you’ll choose me. In another time.”

He walked to the quinjet, which was pointed toward New York.

-------

Did Reader make the right choice? What do you think about the surprise?And what the what is Steve thinking? Let me know if you liked it by commenting or reblogging!

Tagging:

@olyvoyl @summerofsnowflakes @sillyteecup @riiyy @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @theselilwonders @lonelydance @chattykathysquietsister @anh1020 @nissameta1782 @afriendlyblackhottie @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou @jbrizzywrites @stilltoyou @donutloverxo @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @kiwisa @food8me @aiikaa @marvelfansworld @london-grunge @pheebsyells @thesecretlifeofdaydreams-bl-blog @douxtille @ximaginexx @fofisstilinski @bertieandberries @ladystrawberry @bit-of-a-timelord @chesca-791 @calimoi @fangirlfree @bbaengtan @karolsboo @aliceforbes @insertpithyusername @sickknik @photmath @whorekneebrain @anacrcarvalho @iconicshit @spicybibimbap @fineanddandy @olyvoyl @chaoticsteverogers@txtsfromyourex @sadthotsonlylove @ikatieebabyy@nerdymugsharkempath @maroonsunrise83 @curlyhairclub @spookyparadisesheep @keepingitlokiii @weaselbeedisneygeek @toofab4utheatrediva

590 notes · View notes

babyboibucky · 4 years

Text

Salt, Sugar and Viruses

Pairing: Office!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’ve been secretly making coffee for Bucky at the office.

Word Count: 1,962

Warnings: Two idiots just doing idiot things

A/N: This was done in a haste so I kinda hate it lol but I can’t get this story out of my head and thanks to @bitchassbucky for pushing me to write a full fic of this 🥰 luv u 🥺

MAIN MASTERLIST

"You have a crush on Barnes' grumpy ass?!" Sam choked out.

You angrily hushed him and frantically looked around the pantry to make sure that your secret was still safe. Fortunately, only you, Sam and Nat were inside having your respective afternoon breaks.

"What? He's nice. And cute." you told Sam as you stirred your coffee, smiling to yourself at the thought of your office crush, Bucky.

"How'd you even meet him, he works all the way at the IT department." Sam asked.

Nat snorted recalling the encounters she witnessed for the past few months. Some of which were unintentional but most of them? You had carefully planned out just so you could come up with an excuse to request for Bucky's assistance.

"She might have gotten viruses in her computer once...or twice. Or thrice." Nat teased.

The first time you met Bucky was when most of your files suddenly got corrupted. It was hella embarrassing because you didn't know shit about how computers worked and well, you've been illegally downloading torrents since the office's internet connection was a gift from the internet gods. Without a doubt, your computer was a nest for viruses.

Bucky showed up in your floor that morning and you almost sunk into your seat from shame. You'd heard the IT Department complain about everybody else in the office messing up their computer systems. When you turned around, Bucky greeted you with a charming smile and soft hello. You could still remember how he felt when he stayed behind you as you sat on your chair, bending over to take your mouse in his hand.

God, he smelled so good you almost turned your head to nuzzle your face into his neck.

He was very soft-spoken you realized; Bucky was kind enough to walk you through the process and to be honest, you couldn't recall a damn thing he said. Something about firewalls? And shields? Whatever, you didn't really listen. You just stared at Bucky as he explained everything, solving your problem in less than fifteen minutes.

Since then, your crush for Bucky grew bigger. You'd entered the elevator together a couple of times, shared small conversations that made your heart flutter. When those little moments didn't seem enough, you started your devious plan to fuck up your computer a bit. By the third time Bucky fixed your computer, he was already comfortable enough to tease you for being a "virus magnet".

"Hello? Young lady, come back to earth." Sam snapped his finger right in front of your face, interrupting your thoughts.

You clicked your tongue at him and swatted his hand away. "If you ever tell this to anyone, Wilson. You are dead." you warned, poinitng a finger at him.

Sam rolled his eyes, "It's so unfair how he's kind to you. Last time I requested for his assistance he got all smug and grumpy at me." he complained.

Nat shook her head in amusment, "That's because you've been downloading porn. You know the IT department can access our browser histories, right?"

You choked on your coffe, "WHAT?!"

Nat narrowed her eyes at you, "You been up to no good for you to react like that?"

You faceplamed, "I've been stalking his Facebook account."

Sam chortled, "What are you, in high school? Jesus, calm down. You're gonna be fine. Why don't you just tell him you like him?"

You made a face, "I'm not Nat to have the guts to do that."

Nat hummed, bringing her mug to the sink to wash it. "Why don't you start by making him coffee?"

"I don't know how he likes his coffee."

You received a pointed look from both your friends. You groaned in defeat, "Okay, fine. I know how Bucky likes his coffee."

Nat smirked, "Stalker."

Bucky always arrived in the office half an hour before nine in the morning. This gives him time to settle into his cubicle, buy a sandwich at the stall downstairs and to make himself a cup of coffee. It was his daily routine and upon going back to his desk after buying his breakfast sandwich, Bucky was surprised to see a cup of newly brewed coffee on his desk.

He looked around but there were no signs of anyone. There wasn't even a note of some sort. Carefully, he brought the cup to his face and inhaled its scent. Shrugging, he took a tiny sip.

"How's the little secret admirer doing?" Nat asked, grabbing a chair and sitting down beside you.

You deadpanned, "I've been leaving him his coffee for an entire week now and nothing's happened yet."

Nat frowned, "Are you kidding me? Why would you expect for something to happen when you haven't been leaving any clues?" she said.

"I'm shy, okay?! Maybe I should hide somewhere, check for his reaction. See whether I have a chance." you shrugged.

It was stupid of you to leave the coffee on Bucky's desk. You never stayed to wait for him. You just left it there without a note or anything that would even give him a clue about you and your little crush on him. You knew the reason why, of course. You were afraid of rejection. Sometimes, you'd feel like you have a chance with him since he was always so kind and warm to you. Not to mention, everyone in the office knows him to be grumpy but around you, he was totally the opposite of that.

But then again, maybe he was just nice to you because you were nice to him too.

One morning after leaving Bucky his coffee, you finally decided to leave him a note. You ran back to your cubicle to get a post-it and a pen. Before you could even walk around your desk, you spotted Bucky headed over to the pantry, the cup of coffee in his hand.

"Fuck, okay. Maybe I should just directly ask him out?" you thought to yourself.

You quickly followed Bucky into the pantry and almost whined when you saw that Sam was inside as well. You widened your eyes at him, signalling for him to leave but Sam was preoccupied on observing Bucky who seemed to be in a bad mood.

"Rough morning?" Sam just had to ask as you awkwardly stood by the doorway, finding the right timing to butt in.

Bucky's forehead creased as he let out a huff, "Rough weeks, actually." he answered.

You opened your mouth to say something comforting, wanting to lift Bucky's spirits up but he turned around and glanced at you and then back to Sam.

"Does anyone hate me in this office?" Bucky asked.

You and Sam exchanged looks, both of utter confusion before shaking your heads in unison. "Why'd you ask?" Sam asked.

Bucky lifted the cup of coffee that you made, "Someone's been making me coffee." he stated.

You cleared your throat, "...is it bad?" you asked.

Bucky made a face, "Terrible actually."

Ouch.

"I mean, the first time I saw it I was actually flattered. And then I took a sip and it's just...salty." Bucky said, pouring the coffee into the sink before throwing it into the bin.

Sam's head snapped towards your direction, his face almost red from biting back a laugh. Your face heated up at the realization that you've been putting salt into Bucky's coffee instead of sugar. All this time. You wanted to disappear right then and there. And Sam had to be the one to witness your huge failure.

"I thought it was a mistake since the next day, there was another coffee on my desk. I tried it out and it's still salty. It lasted a week, you guys. And I was dumb enough to keep on tasting it in hopes that it might have been a genuine mistake. But now I'm starting to think that someone hates me that much to fuck my coffee up." Bucky explained, face scrunched up into a mixture of irritation and curiosity.

Sam failed to stifle his laughter and exploded, "Funniest shit I've ever heard." he told Bucky before standing up and making his way to the door where you stood.

Your face was red and if the salt and sugar mishap was already humiliating enough, Sam decided to make things even worse for you.

"You really need to check the labels before pouring shit into his coffee." and with that, Sam gave your shoulder a squeeze before leaving the pantry.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. When you opened them, Bucky was staring at you with an expression you couldn't paint.

"Did you...were you the one leaving me coffee?" he asked.

You secretly pinched yourself in the arm to check whether you were just dreaming. Fuck, you hoped you were having a nightmare but the pain that you felt made it clear that you totally fucked up.

You nodded in embarrassment.

"You hate me that much?" Bucky asked in disbelief, as if he was offended that out of all people, it had to be you.

You quickly shook your head, "No, God no! I just...it's because I..." you stammered, trying to find the courage to spit out the words you've been dying to tell Bucky.

Bucky tilted his head, "Because you...?" he urged.

Your hands balled into fists as you let out another deep breath. Bucky probably hates you right now, but whatever. This was your only chance and to hell, you were going to confess.

"Because I like you?"

You didn't think that Bucky's confused look could even turn more...well, confused. But he was looking at you incredulously as though you've grown a second head, or a third head.

"You like me so you decided to put salt in my coffee?" he asked again.

You honestly didn't know who sounded even more stupid now, you or Bucky. Because if he still didn't understand what was going on, he was dense as fuck.

"No!" you explained. "I wanted to make you a decent cup of coffee but I guess I was too careless and didn't realize that I've been putting in salt instead of sugar." you said.

Bucky didn't say anything after that. He just stared at you, but he didn't seem confused anymore. If any, he looked like he was processing the entire situation.

"You like me." he stated again.

Will your embarrassment ever end?!

"Yes, Bucky. And I messed up my chance and you know what? I'm just going to show myself out and leave you alone." you told him and forced a fake grin before attempting to walk out.

A hand gripped your wrist, pulling you back into the pantry. This time, Bucky was the one who looked embarrassed.

"I might have...done something pretty stupid too." he said, avoiding your gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You eyed him suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"I uhh...I did something to your computer...the day before you requested for my assistance for the first time." Bucky admitted shyly.

It was your turn to get muddled at Bucky's confession. "But why?" you asked.

Bucky offered a shy smile, "Because I've been seeing you around the building and thought you were cute."

And then everything clicked. It was a light bulb moment for the both of you.

"Oh. Ohhh okay. I see." you said before suddenly breaking into laughter.

Bucky joined you and scratched his head, "I guess we're both idiots." he said, placing his hands inside his pockets as he stared at you.

"This went...way more interesting than I thought." you said with a nod.

There was a pause before you decided to speak up, "So, do you want coffee?"

Bucky beamed at you as he nodded, "As long as you'll use sugar this time."

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#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #sebastian stan #bucky #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff

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vanderlustwords · 3 years

Text

A Good Thing {mafia au}

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Mobster!Reader

- 37. We’re dating and I didn’t know you were a mobster/biker

- 46. Argument leading to kissing/sex.

Summary: Your world shifts so many times but the most important one is the time you met Bucky, slept with him, and then fell in love with him. You force your world to stay still after that because if Bucky ever found out who you were—it would shift into nothing. Because you’re the type of person Bucky Barnes despises.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. EXPLICIT SMUT. Unprotected sex (wrap before u tap), angst, reader gets mean, some happy moments, angst again. HEA

Note: Not me making a comeback after one year 🤪 I’m so sorry but sometimes the muse goes away. She’s back tho and the writing motivation is juicy. Dedicated to @empyreanwritings because she is my muse 😌✨

Count: ~10k (sorry)

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Coffee and rain.

There's something soothing to Bucky's soul when he smells the fresh grinds of coffee mixed in with the rain. The smells and the sounds lull Bucky's aching.

The nice thing about when it rains is that his favourite small coffee shop is quieter. People, for some inexplicable reason, prefer to run to the Starbucks across the street. More seating, probably.

And the very best part of this small coffee shop? It's open 24/7.

Bucky drinks his coffee silently at his usual booth, looking out the window at 2 AM. It's just one of those nights.

It was then he met you.

The door chimes open, and Bucky instinctively looks towards the door.

You were...gloomy.

You walked in, drenched from the rain, with the only thing to keep you completely soaked was your leather peacoat.

"Hey, Sam," you spoke softly.

The lone barista turned to look over to you with a frown.

"Would it kill you to carry an umbrella? It's rainy season," Sam said with his hands on his hip.

"I did have an umbrella," you tell him.

"And what happened to it?"

You shrugged.

Sam sighed.

"I'll go get you a towel, hold on. Do you want anything else?"

"A latte," you ask. "Could you make it with the pretty art?"

Sam presses his lips together as if to prevent himself from laughing. From Bucky's view, he could see the challenging look in your eyes.

"Coming up, just hold on," Sam tells you before he walks off.

Bucky checks his watch again and decides it's getting much too late, and he's sat here long enough. He gets up with his coffee and starts to leave, but as he passes you, you suddenly turn and bump right into him.

His coffee splashes through the hole in the lid over you, and he's glad that his drink had become lukewarm borderline cold with how long he sat at the cafe.

"Oh, shit," Bucky frowns as he reaches over you to grab a bunch of napkins from the dispenser. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

Your face contorts into mild annoyance, and Bucky is sure you're going to cuss him out. But then, you lick your lips, and with a deep breath, you sigh.

"It's okay," you tell him quietly. "It's my fault for turning suddenly. I was trying to go hang my jacket."

Bucky passes you the napkins, but he grins at you. "Not sure if it'll help much since you're drenched. I really am sorry about your jacket, though. I can pay for dry cleaning?"

You actually crack a smile because you're soaked from head to toe and just holding the napkins alone have already used them up. You look at the man before you. His hair is trimmed neatly, but he's a little scruffy with a 5 o'clock shadow on his face. He's got steely grey eyes, but there's a little twinkle of warmth in them.

He's handsome, rough around the edges, but kind.

After all, he was offering to pay for your dry cleaning.

"It's a really expensive jacket," you tell him with a tilt of your head, a small smirk on your lips. "Dry cleaning won't fix it."

Bucky licks his bottom lip before biting it as he eyes you. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

You smile.

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You like when things are simple and straightforward.

There are many things in your life that are complicated, so you appreciate things that are not.

Bucky is simple and straightforward in the best ways. He's charming, funny, and just the right amount of depth. But he's also honest, and you like that about him. He's not afraid to say what he's feeling or what he's thinking about.

Bucky's so...unlike you.

You're always overthinking everything, debating what is safe to reveal and what isn't. You guard your feelings close to your chest, and you make it seem like you're a simple person too.

And you lie.

"How was work today?" Bucky asks as you step into his apartment.

You take your jacket off, hanging it in his closet before Bucky pulls you into a warm hug and a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips. You drag your teeth over your lips as you place your hands on Bucky's stomach before running your hands up to his broad chest.

Another thing you like about Bucky. You think he's so fit.

"Not bad. Sold some paintings," you answer as you lean in closer, letting your lips brush against his.

A freelance art dealer.

That's what you told him you do for work.

It's only a partial lie.

But it worked for you because it could explain why you'd have to leave at times or if you had plenty of time off.

"How was work for you?" You ask softly.

Bucky is a man of many talents. He does a little bit of everything because he excels in whatever he does. But right now, he works at a bookstore.

"Good," is all he offers before he swoops in and kisses your lips.

You let out a soft hum of pleasure, letting Bucky sweep you away from reality for a moment. How can kissing someone feel so good?

It had started out easy enough since that moment in Sam's coffee shop. Bucky had been on his way out, but you managed to convince him to stay just another drink to make up for spilling his drink on you.

Before you knew it, two hours had passed, and you finally gave the man reprieve and let him leave to go to bed for the day. Not that he was eager to go.

Bucky asked for your number and didn't do that thing where men wait a couple of days to call you. He rang you the very next day to see what your schedule was like.

It was endearing.

One coffee date turned into two, then turned into three.

Coffee dates turned into walks in the park, grabbing lunch, and then grabbing dinner.

Once or twice a week turned into four or five times.

Leaving at two in the morning turned into staying the night.

What had started as casual was beginning to get serious—because you were falling for someone who was meant to just be a distraction.

Bucky moans slightly against your lips as his hands drift further down your back and onto your ass before he pulls you flush against him.

"Mm, you always taste and feel so good, doll," Bucky pulls back with a grin on his lips.

You want to fuck Bucky so badly. Fucking Bucky always felt amazing because he was a generous lover. You'd done it with him so many times in the beginning, when you could look him in the eye and lie.

But nowadays, something unpleasant was settling in your stomach. It made sex much harder.

"What do you want to eat?" Bucky asks while he caresses your backside. "Wanna go on a walk today?"

You hum as you rest your cheek on his shoulder. Bucky also smells good—he smelled like clean laundry and pinewood. And clean laundry and pinewood were starting to smell like home.

"Mm, I know you asked me what I want to eat but I can already smell pasta," you look up at him, smirking.

Bucky laughs as he presses another kiss to your forehead. "I remember you said you were craving this pasta the other day but in the case you don't crave it anymore, I can just throw the whole thing away and we can get takeout."

You let out a burst of laughter as you slap Bucky playfully against his chest while he grins mischievously at you.

"You're so ridiculous," you roll your eyes but can't stop smiling.

Bucky just chuckles as he pulls back to grab your hand to lead you further into his home.

"Let's eat first and then we can think about a walk after. I've been hearing there's been more gang activity lately, so maybe we shouldn't. It wouldn't be good to run into one of those scumbags."

You look at Bucky's eyes, the rare time they're cold.

"Right," you swallow.

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"Where've you been?"

"Nowhere," you mutter as you run your fingers through your hair. You look around and inwardly frown. This used to be home. There were so many nice things here. The chandelier above you was worth more than some people's home.

Yet, it couldn't compare to the quaint and warm feeling Bucky's house was.

"You can't just keep disappearing for days or even hours on end anymore. Your father's gone and that means—"

"I know what it means!" You snap, turning to look at Natasha coldly.

"Sorry," Natasha mutters first before you sigh and rub your forehead.

"No, I'm sorry," you tell her with a sigh and pinch to the bridge of your nose. "You're right, I can't keep going off on my own but this is a lot for me. I never expected to inherit this Syndicate so soon."

"I know," Natasha says sympathetically. "At least it was a natural cause. I always told him to take it easy on the sodium. But you're doing great. You've been around the business long enough."

You chuckle. "Yes, but the news about my father's death has spread and people have been targeting us, haven't they?"

Natasha huffs with a nod. "Fucking Stark has been snooping around our area. I think he's trying to edge in on our business and take our clients."

"Any fights?"

"No more than the usual. There was nearly a shootout a couple of days ago at one of our warehouses."

You sigh.

The terrible thing is that while both you and Stark are old money, old syndicates, you've both inherited the business and just recently. Now you're both new kids on the block trying to establish your names.

"Right," you say, feeling hollow as you stand. "Let's gather everyone for a meeting. I want updates on all our books."

You and Natasha leave the room, walking out into the long hallways. Members straighten up when they see you, and the guards look more serious.

"Boss."

Your people greet you left and right, and you hardly acknowledge them. Every time you hear them, it's just an uncomfortable reminder.

You're the daughter of a mob boss, the new owner of his Syndicate.

You're the kind of person Bucky Barnes despises the most.

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Bucky hasn't ever disclosed why he hates gangsters and mobsters—but you pick up on this quickly when you're out and about together, and there's evidence of criminal activity out on the street.

It was the smart thing to do—lie.

Being who you are, what you've done, and what you own, it's a general rule to never disclose who you are and what you do. Even in relationships, unless they're about to enter the family or the business.

But you know Bucky would never join the family or the business, and he would never love you if he knew the truth.

You had the luxury that you've never been the face of the business, that you've been kept behind the scenes. Natasha's more the face of the Syndicate than you are. You've used that to your advantage because it's good that Bucky will never recognize you.

You're not sure what you could do to keep him if he found out.

"Oh, you taste really good," Bucky mutters as he pulls back from your lips just ever so slightly. You can still feel his warm breath on your lips.

You're in his lap, straddling his body with your thighs over his. Your panties have long gone missing, and your neediness had you pulling out Bucky's hard cock long ago. Pressed against his body, you feel his warmth and hardness. You feel your body melt into his, and you both love and hate it.

You wish it didn't feel as good as it did. You wished it felt like any other body you've used.

But he doesn't, and you're trying to wrap your head around why that is.

"What is that? Cherry?" Bucky asks as he captures your lips again, dipping his tongue into your mouth to taste you again. His tongue slides over yours, and you feel yourself grinding against him.

Bucky moans into your mouth, and you're addicted to the feel and the sound of him wanting you.

'Please always want me,' you think.

"I did have ice cream earlier today," you mumble breathily against his lips. "Black cherry."

Bucky hums, more so in pleasure at your gyrating hips than the lingering flavour of your dessert. His hands are under your dress, warm against your ass as he guides you into grinding more slowly before he adjusts and slips into you with one slick thrust.

You can't help your eyes fluttering close and the low groan in the back of your throat. Bucky makes you feel so full, so—open.

"Come on, doll," Bucky presses a sweet kiss against your jaw. "Open your eyes. I wanna see you look at me—wanna see your pretty eyes."

Your eyes open back as the thrusting becomes more urgent and you stay locked into Bucky's steely grey eyes.

That's probably why he's different.

Because Bucky sees you differently.

He looks at you like you're the sweetest thing in the world—like you're the most precious thing he has. He sees you for your dreams, your hopes, and your fears. He looks at you and expects nothing from you except your love and your happiness.

You can see it all in his hot gaze, and it makes you whimper.

"There we go, doll, you're close, aren't you?" Bucky's helping you along as he thrusts upwards rhythmically at a steady pace.

It's so good, so fucking good. Better than with anyone else you've ever done it with before. Your hands grip at Bucky's shirt at his shoulders, nails lightly digging through.

"Bucky—" you whimper. It's so lewd, the way you can hear the sounds of your skin slapping together, the slickness gathering between your thighs. It brings you higher and higher and higher.

Bucky moans in your ear as your head drops against your hand on his shoulder. "Fuck, you feel really tight. So good, always mine. Come on, doll. Let go. Let go and cum all over me."

And when your clit drags over Bucky's skin, and he hits you deeply just the right way, you fall over the edge, right over him. You come with a strangled cry and clenching of your thighs. You hear Bucky's breath hitch, a soft swear at your walls fluttering around him as he thrusts upwards eagerly, chasing his own release.

When he comes, and you feel the comforting warmth of his spend inside you, you relax against him while he's still inside.

The mix of your heavy breathing and his pants come to a still, and you languidly lift your head to place a sweet kiss on his lips.

The feeling of displacement settles over you like it always does after you finish fucking Bucky. The same feeling of disillusionment that makes you feel hollow and numb.

Because despite whatever Bucky sees in you, you know it's nothing but a part of you you'll never be able to fully be.

Still, you press your lips insistently upon his, foolishly hoping that you could be what Bucky sees. Even if it's only when he's inside you—even if it's just for a moment.

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There's a reason Bucky likes fucking you (he secretly calls it making love to you, but he hasn't told you. Also because sometimes it is fucking).

Yes, it feels incredible, and it's fantastic every time. But there's something else. Bucky feels just a little closer to you when he makes you cum. Because in that one split second, that moment where you're on the precipice of wound up too tight and falling, you're entirely open to him.

You can't help but look openly vulnerable and can't help the raw emotion that crosses your face.

And Bucky is addicted to that.

He's not sure what he was expecting when he met you at Sam's cafe. A one-night stand or the occasional 2 AM booty call, maybe. It had easily turned into friends with benefits, and now they were dating.

Bucky has let himself fall completely. It was hard not to. You were too funny, too witty, too sarcastic, too soft, too loving, too everything. How could he not fall?

But while Bucky fell for you with no preparation for how he was going to land, you had fallen for him with a parachute.

He could sense you holding back. He could sense your sadness at times like you were upset with yourself for falling for him. Bucky doesn't take it to heart because there were times you openly adored him as well (when you're on that precipice of cumming and when you're gazing at him when you think he's fast asleep).

"How come we're always at my place?" Bucky asks as he strokes your back, feeling the familiar bumps of your spine. He tries not to go too low because you've got back dimples, and if he touches them, he'll definitely rile himself up to the point of railing you from behind again. He wants to talk because you only ever talk when he's fucked you so good; you're too relaxed to be on your guard.

"I like your place," you mumble sleepily against his chest.

"I mean, you make pretty good money, you must have a place way bigger than mine," Bucky muses.

You shrug.

"Perhaps but my place isn't like yours," you tell him, your index finger stroking his skin in a small line back and forth. "I don't spend a lot of time at my place, nor have I cared to decorate it. There's just a bunch of paintings and posh, modern-esque furniture."

Bucky is happy to listen as you intertwine your legs through his.

"I like your place because it's—like you. Your kitchen always smells like pasta. Your couch is well-worn in and you have throw pillows that don't match at all. Your bed is smaller than mine but I like it because we sleep closer together. And your sheets smell like you," you smile with your eyes closed.

"Like me?" He teases. "Hope that's good."

You hum. "Pinewood and clean laundry. I know you definitely wash it every week."

"You don't?" Bucky asked, his voice (mostly) jokingly aghast.

"Mm, the cleaners probably do," you mutter.

Bucky lets out a burst of quiet laughter. "Rich brat."

"Hey, I helped you wash dishes today."

"Ah, right, how could I forget your supervision. I wouldn't have been able to achieve clean dishes without you today."

"I'm glad you understand," you say cheekily.

Bucky merely pinches your side lightly as he rolls you over for a chaste kiss.

He sighs.

Bucky's fairly sure he's going to hit the ground and break all his bones, but he supposes that's alright. Because on the off chance your parachute doesn't work, or heaven forbid, you decide you can take it off, he'll still catch you—broken bones and all.

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You're listening to Natasha give you the report, but your mind is miles and miles away.

Another gang fight broke out in the lower west part of your city today. Stark really seems to be testing your limits. To be fair, you just swiped one of his biggest clients from him and one of his shipments.

It's going to rear its ugly head soon. The way things are, it's going to escalate, and you'll probably start having to kill people. There's no hiding behind your father or Natasha anymore. You'll be the one who has to give the orders. You'll be directly responsible instead of indirectly and watching from the sidelines.

You just keep falling deeper and deeper into that person Bucky unknowingly despises.

"Hey."

You blink as you look up at Natasha from your desk.

"Everything okay, boss?" She asks you, and you snort.

"Don't call me that," you roll your eyes.

"Why? You are." Natasha smirked as she stood straight.

"Not to you. Dad took you in when you were a kid. You're family," you tell her softly, and Natasha allows herself to soften for the moment as well.

"You were an annoying sibling," Natasha says, ruining the entire moment.

"You were a sombre little thing. I was sure you were actually a granny in a kid's body," you rebuke back, causing the redhead to laugh.

"Alright, enough of that. What's wrong?" She asks you, and you bite the tip of your tongue.

You eventually let out a long sigh. "I don't know. I don't know how to handle all of this. I wasn't like you, Nat. Sure, sometimes I participated in meetings and learned the mechanics and the darker side of things Dad did, but I'm—I don't know. I knew I'd probably take over one day when Dad was like 102 years old and preferred bird watching instead of chasing deals and murdering people who messed with us. I always thought that taking over would be what I'd want too, after growing older."

"You don't want to?" Natasha frowned.

"I don't know," you swallowed. "I don't know anything anymore."

"Well," Natasha licked her lips, trying to conceal her concern for you. "What I can tell you now is that you need to arrange a meeting with Stark and settle this before it all gets very ugly."

You sigh.

"I know."

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Between making sure you have enough time for Bucky and all the business of the Syndicate, you're starting to feel a little haggard because you're keeping secrets on both sides.

Until one gets discovered.

"Are you crazy?" Natasha hissed at you.

She cornered you two blocks down after you left Bucky's.

"Are you fucking trailing me?" You seethed at her.

"Of course I'm fucking trailing you!" Natasha exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "You've been acting all gloomy and strange. You've been putting things off, showing up late, and missing half the time. And now I'm finding out it's because of some guy? The dick can't be that good."

"Watch your mouth," you warn Natasha, jaw clenched.

"I'll watch my mouth when you put the Syndicate before him! This was your father's legacy," Natasha emphasized, frowning at you. "This is what he left behind, what supported our lifestyle for years. We have people we have to look after and you've been AWOL for some guy none of us have met!"

You stay silent, guilt thrumming in your chest because you can't seem to do it right anywhere.

"Is it serious?" Natasha asks you finally, and when you don't answer, she has hers.

"If it's serious, then you have few options. You know what they are," Natasha clenches her jaw. "You either leave him now and return to us or you reveal who you are and bring him into the Syndicate by marriage. You know what you have to do if you reveal yourself and he doesn't agree to be a part of the business, don't you?"

Kill him, your mind answers, but you continue to remain silent.

"You can't afford to be soft," Natasha reminds you. "Don't go soft on me because I have to be the one who hardens and cleans up your messes."

It was then your eyes met hers and flashes dangerously. "I'm fucking serious, Nat. Stay the fuck away from him. I might be shit at it but I still give the orders."

Natasha's nostrils flare at you, the way they do when you've argued with her when you were younger, and she's disappointed.

"Figure out what to do because that meeting with Stark is in one month when he's back. If you think your lover can't be with you for who you are, then leave him. This is my home too, don't run it into the ground with your father."

Natasha is quick to turn and leave after, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

She was right—that you needed to figure it out.

But you don't even know how to. How do you make sure Bucky could still love you even if you told him who you really were?

How do you make sure he still looks at you the way he does when he learns you're everything he hates?

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

"Bucky."

"Hm," Bucky looks at you while you lie in bed together. It's one of those rare nights the two of you have kept your hands to yourselves. But it's been a rather long day, and neither you want to admit it's also nice to be able to not fuck—like it means more somehow.

It's the perfect time to bring it up. After all, on your stroll back to his place, the two of you passed by a group of gangsters smoking and talking much too loudly.

You don't recognize them, so you know they aren't a part of your Syndicate. Your people are much more discreet, and they would never sit out in the open like that, flashing around their tattoos for everyone to see.

Still, Bucky makes a disgruntled face and a scoff after you pass them.

"Is there a reason you hate gangs and mobs so much?" You ask quietly as you lie on your side facing him, trying to not let your heart thud too hard.

"Is there a reason I need to?" Bucky turns to you with a cock of his brow.

"No," you answer honestly. "But most people just ignore them. You seem to have a personal grudge."

Bucky is silent for a moment as he stares at the dark ceiling. You're kind of glad it's a little too hard to see anything because you don't want to know his expression. Probably thinly veiled contempt for people like you—not that you could blame him.

Then Bucky sighs, pulling one of his arms from under his head to wrap around your body and pull you closer.

"I actually used to live here with someone else. The things you talked about loving are all the things he bought for me or taught me how to do," Bucky confesses quietly.

You listen quietly, unassuming and uninterrupting. Something tells you that this was the wrong thing to do.

You thought you could make Bucky continue to look at you the same if you just understood why he hated people like you. But maybe you were wrong.

"His name was Steven Grant Rogers, and he was—everything. My best friend, my brother, my confidant. We've been attached to the hip since pre-k. We scrapped, slummed, and lived good together," Bucky smiled in the dark as if he was fondly reliving memories. "Steve was a good guy, you know? He was always a little scrawny little thing, though. Oh, and terrible health problems. Asthmatic as hell. Little guy, big heart. He just—always wanted to be more."

"And?"

You expected something like how Steve had been in the wrong place, wrong time. Some mobsters killed poor Steven Grant Rogers.

It's how it always was.

But—

"Then Steve somehow got in with the wrong crowd. They were filling his head with ideas that he could be different—strong. They had him partying and easing him into drugs. It was weed at first, helped Steve a little with his sleeping problems. And then it just kept escalating. I tried to get him to stop, but it was just driving a rift between us. Steve always felt I never understood that part of his life—the desire to be something he wasn't," Bucky sighed.

"I thought Steve was already great—there just wasn't anything we could do about his physical health. We couldn't make him suddenly have a healthy body that could run 20 miles and make him shoot up a whole foot taller," Bucky was absently stroking your arm.

"I never knew which gang he was hanging out with, I think Steve hid it for my safety. But all I know is one night, I found a bunch of drugs he was supposed to drive over the border into Mexico. I told him he was fucking crazy and that shit would get him killed. There was no way he could smuggle it over. The dogs alone at the border would sniff it out," Bucky's voice was hard. "He had some plan but I couldn't even listen. Told Steve that if he wanted to get involved in this shit—shit he knew was wrong, then to get out and leave me out of it."

You feel something painful tugging at your chest. Maybe it was the way Bucky sounded so heartbroken.

Maybe because this was sounding familiar.

"Next thing I know, I'm getting a call from the hospital at 4 AM and I'm rushing to the ER but I'm too late. Dead before I could even leave the house," Bucky rasps.

You want to tell Bucky to stop—he doesn't have to bring this up. You're sorry for asking. You're so sorry.

But you remain still, hand tensely on his stomach. "Cops are all over me with questions before I can even process the fact Steve's gone. They're telling me they found him on the side of the road, bullets through his windshield and chest and his car had traces of coke. The bundles were gone, just sprinkles of it everywhere."

It's silent for a moment, with Bucky no longer talking. You feel his arm tight around you, chest taking heavy breaths.

You stroke his stomach, even though you also feel nauseous, but the gesture seems to soothe him enough to talk again.

"I think Steve realized that everything he was doing was wrong—that he'd gotten involved with something he never should've. I think he tried to turn around since his car was driving away from the border when they found it. And I think he tried to let them know he was bringing the goods back or bringing it to the cops to turn himself in alone. I'll never know what the guy was trying to do. Either way, it wasn't what the gangsters liked and they went out to find him. They went out to put a hole in his chest and take back their goods. They went out to kill him and leave him like it wasn't anything."

Bucky then turns to you. There's enough light from outside through the peek of the curtains. You see that Bucky's eyes are rimmed red.

Your chest aches because you know that Bucky misses Steve so much every day without a shadow of a doubt. He misses his friend so much; there's a part of him that's gone now too. It's a part no one, not even you, could fill.

"So, when you ask me why I hate people like them, that's why. Because they can go about their life doing shit like this to people like Steve and it's all just another body to them. Another faceless no one they don't even remember. And people like me can't do anything about it," Bucky's face is so close, you can feel his minty breath on your face.

Your eyes sting for a lot of different reasons.

You wrap your arm further around Bucky, pulling him in close to comfort him. Even though you're the last person who should.

Because your father is the reason why Steven Grant Rogers is dead.

No one knew him by that name, though.

They joked around with the scrawny man, calling him "Captain."

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Steven Grant Rogers was a strange person your father used to tell you.

You had no interest in another asthmatic kid who wanted to join your father's Syndicate. He was just one of the other hundreds of similar guys who wanted to.

Everyone thinks being in a mob is glamourous, and parts of it are. But it's also gruelling work when you're at the bottom of the chain and when you get higher, the shit you have to do just gets more gruesome.

But your father always liked people with upstanding morals.

And apparently, Steve had enough to earn him the nickname Captain—or Cap.

You might've seen him once in passing. It was the time of your life where you were less present in the business. You simply preferred travelling and blowing massive amounts of daddy's money.

So, when you came home one day after Nat called you to say your father was upset and needed family, you were surprised to hear that Steve was dead.

Betrayed, your dad told you. Betrayed by Cap. A man who your dad took under his wing like his own. It was just an initiation job Steve was to do on his own.

And when Steve called your dad to say he couldn't do it, couldn't live like this anymore—wanted out. Your dad told him the same rules he's told everyone—even you.

There is no out. Blood in, blood out—that's the only way.

You look at Bucky's peacefully sleeping face. It was clear he felt lighter after confessing to you, opening up to you.

You felt the opposite.

You felt like the anchor to your ankle tightened, and you were sinking even faster than before.

Understanding Bucky only led to one thing—cementing his hatred for you once he found out.

You couldn't keep Bucky, nor could he keep you.

The choice was clear.

You had to leave him.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Bucky's not sure what he's done wrong.

You've stopped answering his calls and texts.

You've stopped showing up at his place. Everything that was you in his apartment is gone.

Not even a single sock left.

Well, that's not true.

You did leave something.

A post-it note that says, "It's over. I don't want to see you ever again. Don't reach out."

Cold.

Heartless.

The way you were when he first met you. It had lingered under the surface and never showed itself to him, but now it was directed at him.

It's possible you've blocked his number or changed it.

Bucky's sure he's hit the ground now, and his heart is the very first thing to break while his bones feel sore.

There's no closure, and Bucky doesn't think you'll ever give him one. He should just suck it up, take the loss, and move on. He should let time do its thing and forget about you.

But he can't.

Bucky was in too deep. He already knows. He's devastatingly in love with you.

That's why he has shown up at your place. It's much richer and posher than he ever expected. He knew the community you lived in—he's still surprised that he's stuck outside your gates.

Bucky showed up at 8 PM, and you weren't home. Now it was nearing 1 AM.

He looks up when he sees a black car pull up. It stops just a little ways away from him. The driver window rolls down for a brief moment before it rolls back up.

Then in the back, the door opens, and you step out.

You look...different. A little sharper than when you're with him.

You tap the driver's window.

"Are you sure?" Bucky hears faintly.

"Leave, and don't say a word to Nat," you warn.

Bucky blinks because he's never heard you sound so cold.

You wait until the car leaves until you can't see it anymore and turn to him, eyes dispassionate.

"Why are you here, Bucky? Didn't you get my letter?" You ask him plainly.

Bucky gets up with a grunt, frowning at you.

"Can you even call that a letter? You wrote it on a sticky note," Bucky quirks his brow at you.

"All I had at the time," you shrug as you walk past him, entering the code to your gates, and it opens. "The message remains the same. It's over and I don't want to see you."

But Bucky grabs your hand as he trailed after you.

"Why? Why is it over? Did I do something?" Bucky asks you, trying to not sound desperate, but his eyes give that away.

You keep walking, pulling your hand out of Bucky's.

"No, you didn't." You said briskly as you reached your front steps. You turn to him. "Go home, Bucky. It's over because it just is. Are you going to stand there and try to make me stay with you? Is that the kind of man you are?" You taunt him.

Bucky bristles at your words, trying to push them aside because you're only saying them to get a rise out of Bucky—to make him quit.

But he won't.

"No, but until you tell me why it's over and until it's a reason I can accept, I'm not going home," Bucky insists. "You don't get to say you woke up one moment because you suddenly fell out of love—and don't play stupid and act like you don't love me. I know you do, I've already known for months."

You swallow harshly as Bucky pushes past you into your home.

It's as lonely as you described.

Meaningless art with posh furniture.

"I have nothing to say to you, Bucky. Leave before I get mean with you," you warn him, threaten him.

Bucky snorts. "Mean with me, doll? You don't think you're already being mean? You left a sticky note saying it was over and not to seek you out. I think you're already past mean. You're fucking hostile."

You purse your lips because you're frustrated.

Why couldn't Bucky just be the man who cursed you, wished you ill, and forgot about you?

Why did he have to come here and be so annoyingly persistent?

"I'm just over you, Bucky," you say dispassionately. "What we had was good but I'm done with it now. Don't tell me just because I fucked you on the daily—because we ate together that you thought I wanted that forever. I'm doing that with three different guys right now."

That causes a look of anger in Bucky's eyes, and you hope that he'll just call you names and then leave.

"No," Bucky grinds out. "I thought you wanted that forever because after you fucked me, you stayed in my bed—in my arms as you fell asleep. Because before and after we ate, we did everything and nothing and all that's in between. You're pretty stellar, doll, but even you don't have enough time or energy to do that with three different guys."

"Just get out and leave, Bucky. How many times does a girl have to tell you that she's fucking over you for you to leave? Are you always this pathetic?" You tilt your head with a smirk. "What? Do you want to have breakup sex before it's over? Or do you think your dick is so good it might be able to convince me to stay?"

Bucky just stares at you.

This isn't you.

And no matter how many terrible things you say to him, he's never going to believe that's how you truly feel.

Because the only way for Bucky to confirm that is to get you on that precipice.

Bucky surges forward, catching you in a surprising kiss as he backs you into your too expensive couch.

You moan instantly in his mouth.

"Moaning just from that, doll?" Bucky taunts you. "Maybe my dick might be good enough to convince you at the very least you're wrong."

Bucky's kissing you again, pulling you close to him as he strokes down your side, pulling one thigh open for him to fall between your legs.

When his erection hits your clothed pussy, you arch your back, whimpering in his mouth as your hips rise.

"I really hope you're not seeing three guys because you're so fucking needy for me right now. That would just be sad if none of them are taking care of you properly," Bucky's just being mean now, and you deserve it for breaking his heart and trying to rub salt in his very open wounds.

But Bucky's much kinder than you and goes back to silently making his point instead of dishing back what you gave.

He makes work of kissing your neck, sucking and licking as his fingers unbutton your shirt. He presses his hand against your back, lifting you to take your shirt off before unhooking your bra and throwing that away too.

"Always so pretty," he mutters before he takes a nipple into his mouth, licking and nipping until the nub becomes a hard pebble.

His fingers have already dipped into your pants, past your underwear, as his calloused pads of his fingers slip through your folds. Bucky rubs you lewdly, firmly, without holding back as he circles your clit and teasingly presses against your entrance.

You get slick for him easily and quickly, your mouth letting out pants and moans for him as you try to make work of undoing his belt and pulling down his zipper.

You don't want the foreplay, and it's clear Bucky is getting you soaked to take his cock tonight.

When Bucky pulls his hand out, grabbing onto the edge of your pants and panties as he rips it down, you're too eager to help him help you out of them. He makes quick work of his own pants and shirt before he spreads you as wide as he can.

With one sharp thrust, he sinks into you fully, stretching you so wide and filling you up.

You let out a hot moan when he settles all the way in. Fuck, he was perfect. He filled you so good, so perfectly. You missed it.

Bucky presses his entire front against you, pressing you firmly into the couch as he kisses you deeply for a moment. He pulls back just enough that his lips are ghosting over yours.

And then he fucks you.

His thrusts are deep and punishing. He changes his angle and continuously swipes over that spongy, bumpy spot in you. Over and over until you're legs are wrapped around his hips so tightly like you want to keep him in you.

Your hands are gripping the back of his hair as you whimper and cry, choking on your moans as Bucky whispers in your ear, trying to push you to that edge.

"You know you're mine, doll. Why are you pretending you aren't? I'm out here giving all of myself to you and you're trying to pretend you don't want me? It's hard to pretend right now, though, isn't it? When you're wrapped so tightly around my cock, thrusting against me so desperately because you want me to make you cum," Bucky nibbles your ear, causing a high-pitched yelp from you. "Fuck, you're always so tight for me. How are you always so fucking tight? You love me, admit you love me."

You shake your head, trying to breathe through the quickly rising wave that wants to crash. You try to stave off your impending orgasm, the one that would be admitting how much you want Bucky, but he isn't having any of that.

"Oh, no," Bucky tuts. "Don't go doing that now, doll. Open your eyes for me. Open them right now because you know I like seeing your pretty eyes when you cum for me."

You try to refuse, but when Bucky's gripping the back of your hair, a hot wave of arousal pulses through you as your eyes snap open and you stare into his eyes.

Even when he's mad at you, even when he's heartbroken. He still looks at you so openly.

That too tight coil in you snaps when Bucky's hand slides down to thrum at your clit.

You cum with a choked whimper, thrusting upwards into him as he curses and smashes his lips against yours. His hips move jaggedly until you feel his hot spend coat your walls, filling you and dripping out.

He falls on top of you; though heavy, his weight is comforting. It's just the sounds of heavy breathing from the two of you that fill the room.

When it finally calms down, Bucky lifts himself to hover over you. He's got that look of triumph on his face. He's got that look because he got you on that precipice, and just before you came, he got the truth he wanted.

You want him. You love him. And for some reason, you won't let yourself.

You stare at him, feeling—numb.

"Still want to tell me you're over me?" Bucky asks softly.

You fight tooth and nail in your own body to not let the tears well up.

You swallow. You need to shove down those feelings, even though they were right on the surface for Bucky to see.

Because if lying to him won't work anymore, then you'll tell the truth. And you'll do it the way that forces you to face your worst fear.

Seeing how that look of love will really turn to hate for all the right reasons instead of the lie you tried to build.

"Fine," you say, no longer dispassionate and instead with nothing but emotion. "I'm not over you. I'm never going to be over you. But we're never going to work, Bucky. And you know why?"

You use your strength and his lack of awareness to flip the two of you over. He's still in you when you're on top of him.

You stare down at him, and you can't help the burn in the back of your eyes. Why does he have to look so—Bucky.

You lean down, so you're closer to his face.

"My father is the man who killed Steve Rogers. Congratulations, Bucky. You've gone and fell in love with the daughter of the Syndicate that got your friend killed. And you know what else? You're also fucking the boss of that Syndicate now." You watch as Bucky's eyes go wide, shock registering in his system. It's all you can take. You don't want to watch the shock go away and morph into something else.

You slide off of him, resisting the urge to moan as he slides out of you.

You get up, collecting his clothes and dumping them on him. You stare down at him, and you know your eyes are rimmed red as he sits up and stares back at you.

"So, if you're done trying to make me stay and realize you should've gone—go home. And don't come back. We could never work, and this is where you realize you don't want it to."

You grab your shirt, if only to put it on to cover your physical nakedness. It doesn't help you stop feeling vulnerable.

You turn to leave, ready to go upstairs and leave Bucky to go alone. He could break your shit for all you care—could burn the house right down with you in it, and it would've been fine.

But somehow, somehow, Bucky's grabbing your hand again.

You turn to him, exasperated and tears in your eyes.

"Bucky—"

"Will you just stop trying to leave for one damn minute!?" He shouts at you, and you're stung into surprise.

"Let me just fucking process everything for a second," Bucky frustratingly says as he pulls you back to the couch and forces you to sit down.

"What's there to process?" You bite out. "I'm a crime boss of a Syndicate and my family is the one who got Steve killed. Stop trying to make excuses for me and just—leave. You hate these kinds of people, Bucky. And I'm at the top of those kinds of people. It's time to wake up and realize you hate me."

"Don't tell me what to feel, doll," Bucky says warningly at you. "I have questions and you're going to answer them."

You're silent, ready for the questions and also not ready.

"Your dad is dead?"

"Yes."

"How."

"Heart attack."

"Why did he kill Steve?"

"He said he took Steve in like one of his own and Steve betrayed him. I'm assuming that meant Steve was going to try to turn himself in or the drugs. It would've led back to the Syndicate."

"Did you have anything to do with it?"

"No, I wasn't interested in the business during this time. I don't remember ever meeting Steve."

"Have you done anything like this since taking over?"

"No. I can't say I'm a good crime boss. I know how the business works and I can do parts of it, but everything was rather—sudden." You look away. It's not fair to be sad about your dad's death with Bucky right there. You hate yourself when Bucky squeezes your hand.

You wish he'd let go.

"You've killed people then?"

"I've sent orders. Usually wars between other Syndicates. We're in a tough period since my dad has passed. A lot of people are trying to take advantage of the new kid in power—even if the Syndicate belongs to me by blood," you confess, feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

It's silent for a minute, and you want to pull your hand away if Bucky wasn't holding it so tightly.

Bucky just stares at you while you look straight forward.

"One more question," Bucky says slowly. "Is this what you continue to want? Do you want to be the crime boss of a Syndicate? Is this the life you want?"

You turn to stare at Bucky. His face holds no emotion, so you have no idea how he's feeling and for once, his eyes are guarded.

You knew it would be, but it still stung.

You let out a sigh.

"No," you finally say. "I did—at one point. Inheriting all this was always part of the plan. I just thought in some vague distant far part of the plan. I never really thought about it much. I'm capable of this work but I just—" you shook your head.

"Stop holding back," Bucky pushes you because he's not letting you hide this time. If he's going to fall, he's not going to let you dawdle if you want a parachute or not while joining him. He's going to rip your parachute right off.

You swallow as you look at him. "I just—want you. I didn't think meeting you would lead to all of this. But now, I can't stop wanting something that's going to get us both killed. I want to live in Barcelona where you sell stupid boats and I actually am a paint dealer because we do need money. I want that if I look out the window, I can see you all day and then we eat ridiculously good food that we both have concerns about becoming unhealthily obese quickly and both not really care because that's our life. Working weird hours and eating whatever we want when we want."

Bucky squints his eyes at you, unsure of what to make of what you're saying, but it's blooming something in his chest. It's all painful and muddled up with everything else that has happened recently.

He wonders why in this fantasy, he sells boats. Are boats popular in Barcelona?

You're quiet again, and Bucky has finally run out of questions. He leans back against your posh couch and thinks about how it's not worn in enough.

Bucky thinks about so many things.

He thinks about Steve and wonders if it's still okay to love you. It's easier knowing you had nothing to do with his death.

While it'd be easier to blame you because of your blood relations, Steve would probably punch him in the mouth. He's a good guy like that.

Is it still okay to love you knowing you've got blood on your hands? That you're capable of getting more if you had to.

Bucky's not sure.

But it doesn't stop his heart from feeling what it does.

He turns to you, and you watch him with open eyes. He wants to laugh. How the tables have turned.

"I love you," Bucky says, and he watches you swallow with tears in your eyes. "I love you even though you're the kind of people I hate. I love you and I want that kind of life you've just talked about. I'm not 100% sold on the boat idea, though."

You choke on a laugh.

Bucky smiles. He's super tired.

"Can we have that though?" He asks, and you know what he's really asking.

Are you willing to abandon everything to have that life?

Bucky's no stranger to blood in, blood out. You don't get special treatment just because you're a crime boss. If anything, it's harder.

You stare at him.

Finally, you're really looking at him with everything you have, and it feels so—right.

You lean over to kiss him, revelling in the way he kisses you back.

Because Bucky Barnes loves you. He loves you even though he knows the truth.

"Yes," you tell him. "Hope you don't sunburn easily. Also boats are a great idea, you'll see."

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

The meeting with Stark had been a bust. His ego is way too big to even consider a détente.

It had ended with people being killed on both sides as you both escaped. You hadn't been in a good mood, and that was when you realized Bucky was sitting on the ground outside your gates.

Still, it was the best thing that he could've done. You're glad you're terrible with emotions and thought a sticky note would really keep him away.

Or maybe you knew it wouldn't. Maybe you held onto hope even though there was no reason for you.

There was some intel that Stark was planning to blow up one of your warehouses in the next week. It would probably be one of the bigger ones. He did want to try to stick it to you and cost your Syndicate money.

Well.

That was Natasha's problem now.

"Are you sure about this?" Natasha asks with a frown.

She's family. The most wonderful thing you have left of this world.

The only one who could understand that it doesn't have to be blood in, blood out.

Because she's not your blood, and she's family, your inner family.

"I think it's for the best," you mutter as you fidget with a puzzle. "I told you I wasn't like you. You're more fit to run this thing if you want to keep it out of the ground."

"But your father—"

"—is dead," you finish as you look up at her.

"If he wants to keep his legacy running, then he'll jump for joy at the thought of you taking over because I'm the selfish daughter that would run it into the ground," you smile prettily while Natasha scoffs.

"You love him that much?" She asks.

For a moment, you soften, the way Natasha has never seen you before.

"So much that I'd come up with new rules to be with him," you say quietly. "Besides, we're the new generation. We should make our own rules. Get married or die is way outdated."

"Ah, yes," Natasha said dryly. "I love faking your own death to be with the man you love because he can't stomach joining a mob Syndicate because his best friend was murdered by one is so much better."

"It's interesting at least," you laugh. "Besides, it'll give leeway for you to take over much easier. I even left my will here. See?"

Natasha clicks her tongue at it.

"You have everything else prepared?" Natasha asks, and you nod.

"All the stuff I need to start over is good to go."

"And did you..."

"Clean up loose ends? Yes," you sigh. "Bucky wasn't happy with me."

"And he just forgave you?"

"It helped I chose someone who also dabbled in child pornography to set up our documents. I don't think Bucky was too morally conflicted to see him go," you shrugged. "He helped me get rid of the body."

"Glad you two are bonding," Natasha shook her head with a sigh.

You hum.

It's a long moment before Natasha pulls you in for a rare, tight hug.

"Be safe," she mumbles. "Don't actually get blown up. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," you hug her back, tears welling in your eyes. "We'll meet again if we ever cross paths. Hopefully after you're a badass crime boss that's taken Stark down a few notches. I mean, you have to avenge my tragic death."

Natasha just laughs.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

1 year later...

You hear the door ring as it opens.

You look up from the counter and give a hopeless grin.

"Back again, Rafael?" You sigh. "What did you do this time?"

The man just laughs as you start preparing a bouquet for him.

"I brought home the wrong ice cream," he says with a shrug.

You click your tongue at him. "How could you forget again? You did this three weeks ago."

"She changes her favourite flavour every week! I can't keep up," Rafael frowned.

"She's making a human, a human that's half yours," you quirk a brow at him. "She's entitled to changing her ice cream flavour if she wants."

Rafael sighs but good-naturedly as you finish fixing his bouquet.

"I should go talk to Steve out there, huh? All he does is sell boats and manage to keep you happy. How is that?"

You smile as you look at the window, staring at your husband, who is fixing up a boat. It's like he can sense when you're looking at him as he looks up, giving you a charming smirk.

"Stevie's a whole other level. It's best not to compare. He's crazily good at knowing everything about me by just looking into my eyes."

"But how!" Rafael exclaims.

"Um, something about precipice and practice," you tilt your head.

"Unhelpful," Rafael tuts, and you laugh.

"I'll give a ten percent discount due to my unhelpfulness, how's that?"

"You are an angel. Maybe I should try to look in your eyes and see if I have this superpower too," Rafael waggles his brow, and before you can retort, the door rings again as it opens.

"Stop hitting on my wife, Rafael, you're going to end up having to come back twice if your wife finds out."

You look up and see your husband, tanned and delicious.

"And who would tell her?" Rafael quirked his brow.

"Me, and I'm sure she's already one step from leaving you if you dawdle any longer with your flowers and ice cream," your husband smirks.

Rafael curses as he winks at you before giving your husband a nod and leaves.

When it's just the two of you, you beckon him closer to the counter. You tug on his shirt as you pull him in for a sweet kiss.

"Hi," you say.

"Hi," he husks back.

"I miss calling you Bucky," you sigh.

"Stevie's not as fun?" Bucky smiles.

"It's alright," you crinkle your nose.

"You can still call me Bucky in bed," he waggled his eyebrows at you as he hops over the counter to kiss you again.

"Mm," you hum in pleasure. "We'll see if we're up for those kinds of activities after we go eat tonight."

Bucky looks excited. "Can we go to the usual? I can't get enough of the calamari."

You snicker but nod before you look around.

"I can't believe you went and opened a flower shop too. Isn't art dealing enough?" Bucky sighs.

"The flower shop is just an add on, you big baby. I meet my clients here and they like buying flowers too. Besides, you like seeing me here every day. And I like it too," you pout.

Bucky sighs. "Shit, we're that clingy couple. Can't function without seeing each other."

You smile.

"That's a good thing," you decide.

"You're a good thing," Bucky shoots back haughtily like you should be offended.

You roll your eyes as you pull Bucky in for another kiss—much longer and deeper. You love that he still smells like pinewood and clean laundry. But now he also smells like the ocean, and you adore it. Because the ocean was something you added to him.

"Always let me be your good thing," you mutter against his lips.

Fin

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Moodboard: @empyreanwritings 💕💕

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I love these two so much 😭💕 If this flops I will actually pretend this never happened LMAO so please comment & reblog if you enjoyed 😊

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #mobster!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #bucky barnes x mob!reader #modern avengers au #avengers au #avengers imagine #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine #g.fluff #g.angst #v.myfic

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