#buck and tommy broke up and it was a bad breakup and it felt like it came out of nowhere and ALSO BUCKS ACTOR SAID

[icyfox17]

Icy what happened? Do you need a hug?

I need many hugs:(

[cjlouwho]

tags: violence (gay bashing), homophobic slurs, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, healing, heading toward getting back together, happy-enough ending

(ao3 link or read below)

Like Fine China

“Hey, I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay? You hear me? Try to keep your eyes open.”

He recognized that voice. The last time he'd heard it was just a few weeks ago, at the hospital. Who was it for though? Why was he at the hospital that time?

His brain felt like a jumbled mess. His body felt even worse.

He just wanted to sleep.

“Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?”

Athena! That's who was speaking to him.

He opened his mouth, cracked one eye open. God, it hurt!

“I- I'm,” the words felt foreign as they escaped him. His voice didn't sound like his own. His mouth was dry, and held a bad taste.

Whiskey and... and metal.

Blood.

“Tommy, paramedics are on their way, okay? I just need you to stay with me until they get here.”

It was dark, but something was shining bright in his face.

“Flash... Flashlight,” he managed to get out, squeezing his eye back shut.

“Eyes- Eye open, Tommy. I'll get the flashlight out of your face, but I need to know you're with me.”

Wait. Had she said paramedics? They couldn't. He couldn't let them- let him see.

“No, no, no,” he mumbled out, shaking his head a couple times until a sharp pain shot through it. “No, h- he can't. I don't-”

“They're not on shift, Tommy.”

He tried to push himself up, away from where she hovered over him. He didn't manage to get very far before she placed a hand on his chest.

“Tommy, you cannot get up. I need you to stay still, and stay conscious. Those two things are your only jobs. You hear me?”

“I can't,” his words were so garbled. He coughed up the blood that'd been dripping down his throat.

I can't let him see.”

“Listen to me, Tommy!” Athena exclaimed, getting right in Tommy's face. He could barely see her, but he could feel her breath on his face. “They're not coming. Buck isn't coming; it'll be someone else.”

In the distance, he heard the sound of sirens. He didn't feel relief. Didn't feel much of anything at all. He was fading, fast. It took all his energy to force out one last sentence before he lost consciousness. “Don't... Don't tell him.”

*****

He just wanted to go out for a drink. Something a little stronger than craft beer.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Evan- no, Buck. He was Buck now.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Buck and the ache in his chest felt the same way it did the second he walked out of the loft.

He'd thought he was saving himself from future heartbreak, and maybe he was, but it didn't quite make it hurt any less.

Georgie's wasn't exactly a gay bar, but Georgie was gay and the bar itself became a sort of unofficial hang out for older people in the lgbtq+ community. No loud music and everyone left each other alone. A perfect place to decompress while still allowing yourself to be free.

After a couple of whiskey sours, and yeah, a pitcher of craft beer, Tommy was ready to go.

He waited outside, near the alleyway, for his Uber. He found himself going to his messages, hovering over Evan's name. He hadn't had the heart to change it to Buck yet.

He'd been wanting to text him since the breakup. Talk about it some more. Actually give a reason for why it- why he- fell apart so fast. How Buck's words triggered some terrible memories for him. How he suddenly realized there was no way he could be everything he thought Buck needed. Everything Buck deserved. Not to mention they hadn't even exchanged I love you's. And it was insane to think all of Tommy's things could fit in Buck's loft. Buck's things could fit in his house so much easier!

He clicked on Evan's name, started to type something out, erased it, started again, erased it again.

He was usually so aware of his surroundings. His time in the military did that to him. It did a lot of things to him actually, many of which he wasn't very thankful for. However, he prided himself on not being oblivious.

Tonight he was oblivious.

He didn't expect five men to jump him at once. He was a strong guy. Had taken on three men about fifteen years earlier. Did it with ease too.

But not five men. Not when one had a bat, and one had brass knuckles, and one was at least 6'5 and three hundred pounds. Not when they dragged him to the ground and into the alley before he had a chance to react. Screaming slurs at him as they took turns using his body as a punching bag.

He tried to fight. At one point, he was sure he kicked one of the guy's in the face. Heard him yell something like, “The fag broke my tooth!”

It only made things worse.

He wasn't sure when he first lost consciousness, but he knew they were still on top of him. Still laughing as they hit and kicked. He heard the sounds of someone spitting at some point. Felt wet on his face.

Then there was nothing.

Until someone stepped out from somewhere, and maybe they heard him groan? Maybe it was his Uber driver wondering where he was? Maybe it was an employee taking out the trash? He wasn't sure. He could barely hear someone telling him they were calling the police. There was a ringing in his ears, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Someone said something about wheezing, barely breathing. He wondered what that was about.

Then there was Athena. Then nothing again.

*****

The next time Tommy opened his eyes, he was in a dimly lit hospital room. He was confused. Could barely see out of one eye and everything was blurry out of the other.

His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and maybe some tiny humans hitting his brain with hammers.

“Are you... awake awake or not really awake?”

The sound of a man's voice startled him. He couldn't hardly move, but he was able to focus his eyes across the room at the figure in the corner.

“Ed- Eddie?”

God, his voice sounded weird. Why did it sound like that? Like he'd spent the last 30 years smoking a pack a day.

“Yeah, I'm here.”

He sounded hesitant. Maybe they'd had this conversation before? If they had, Tommy certainly didn't remember it.

“Wha- Why?”

Eddie stepped closer. “You're in the hospital, Man.”

Tommy wanted to roll his eyes. No duh.

He settled for clearing his throat, which turned into a burning sensation running down his chest. “Why're you... here?” he tried. Hoped Eddie understood that much.

“Tommy-”

“I t- told Athena-” he had to pause to take a breath. “Told her not to tell.”

“Actually, you told Athena not to tell him. And she assumed, correctly, I'm sure, that him was Buck. So she called me instead.”

Tommy closed his eyes. “Why?”

“Why'd she call me? Oh, maybe because you don't have anyone listed as an emergency contact and you were nearly beat to death so she figured you might need someone to be here when you woke up.”

Tommy's jaw clenched at Eddie's harsh words.

Nearly beat to death.

He was nearly beat to death.

Eddie either noticed Tommy's heart rate going up on the monitor, or his eyes filling with tears, because he was right beside his bed in two strides. “Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, I- I'm kinda pissed, Man.”

“S'okay,” Tommy replied, swallowing hard. “I deserve it.”

Eddie looked taken aback. “No, I'm not- Tommy, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this,” he said, gesturing over Tommy's body. “I've never seen...” Eddie's voice trailed off and, through Tommy's own blurry vision, he could see that Eddie was close to crying.

“What'd they do to me?” Tommy asked, barely able to take in all his injuries. His entire body hurt, no part any worse or less than the other. He could feel something on every limb, but he couldn't quite move his head around enough to see what it was.

Eddie took a deep breath. He wiped at his eyes with his fingers, sniffling before getting started. “You've got bruising on about seventy-five percent of your body. You had surgery for a busted kneecap on your right knee. Your left arm has a fracture, and your right one has thirty stitches, I think. They broke a few ribs, so it's gonna hurt like hell when you take a deep breath or cough. Um, you had some internal bleeding, but they got that under control pretty fast. You've got a fracture in your cheek, which may cause some extra pain when you talk. You've got a few broken fingers too, and lost a couple fingernails during your- when you were defending yourself.”

“Hm,” Tommy hummed once Eddie was done. “S'that all?”

Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I'm sure I missed a couple things, actually, jackass.”

Tommy let out a laugh, which quickly turned into a groan. “Thanks for coming, Eddie,” he said, trying and failing at moving himself into a slightly more comfortable position. “You don't have to stay though. I'll be fine.”

Eddie stared at him incredulously. “You're kidding me.”

Tommy shifted his eyes back in Eddie's direction. “No, I- I'll be okay. I've got it. Just,” he paused to take a breath, “don't let Buck know, please.”

Eddie raised a finger toward Tommy. “Well, see, about that. You only told Athena not to tell him before, and-”

“You didn't.”

“-and see he was already at my place when I got the call, so-”

“Please tell me you didn't.”

“I have one with cream and one with sugar and- Oh my God, you're awake!” The sound of Buck's voice had Tommy's head twisting toward the door so quickly that a pain shot from the bottom of his back all the way to the top of his head. “Ow!” he yelped, clenching his teeth and tossing his head against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh my God. Has the nurse come in yet? Have they checked his vitals? Eddie, you said he'd be out for a while! Tommy, do you feel any nausea? Do you remember who we are? The nurses said you might have-”

“Buck!” Eddie exclaimed. “Stop. He's okay.” He glanced over at Tommy, “I did forget to mention the head trauma.”

Tommy groaned, giving him a glare.

Eddie walked over to Buck and took the drink carrier from his hands. “I'll go find a nurse, you stay with him.”

Tommy wanted to yell out to Eddie to please not go, and also screw you, and maybe throw a couple hand gestures in there too. He stayed silent instead.

Buck looked Tommy up and down, hesitating slightly before walking up to the side of the bed. “So, you're-”

“I want to see myself,” Tommy blurted.

“Oh, um, I... Tommy, I don't. It might be better to wait.”

Tommy managed to move his head enough to look up at Buck. He could see the fear- no, the panic- in Buck's eyes.

“I wanna see," he repeated.

“Tommy-”

“Buck!” It took a lot of strength to get his name out so forcefully, and he didn't quite mean it to sound as angry as it did, but this wasn't Buck's decision. It was his. And he wanted to see what he looked like.

Buck pulled his phone from his back pocket, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled up the camera.

Slowly, he lifted the phone up to Tommy's face.

The second it registered that he was looking at himself, Tommy sucked in a breath. He grimaced as pain radiated through his chest but, when Buck went to move the camera away he stopped him. “No,” he said. “Just. Just wait.”

He knew his eyes were swollen by how out of focus his vision was, but he had no idea just how bad they looked. The right was worse than the left, but both were an angry mixture of black, purple, and green. The bruise on the left side of his face ran down his cheek to his jaw, circling underneath his chin like a half moon and fading into his facial hair. There were marks on his neck. Looked like someone's hand. He could understand Eddie's hesitancy on mentioning that. He didn't remember anyone gripping him there, which was probably for the best.

His forehead had more bruises, and cuts too. There was dried blood at his hairline, some stitched up cuts. His curly hair was nearly matted to his head, his scalp a brutal crimson.

“I tried to wash the blood out of your hair with a washcloth,” Buck explained anxiously, “but you have some lacerations on your scalp and I didn't want to bother them until they healed a little more.”

It was all so overwhelming. There was a whirring sound in his ears that made him feel dizzy. His eyes burned as they filled with tears that he didn't have the strength to wipe away.

“Okay,” he said, his voice uneven. He cleared his throat. “Can you- You can go, please. I don't... You can go.”

“Tommy-”

“Ev- Buck, I'm awake, I'm fine, I don't need anyone here.” He stared straight ahead, unable to look Buck in the eyes. “Please.”

“No.”

Tommy really didn't feel like dealing with stubborn Evan right now. “I don't-”

“I don't really care, Tommy. I'm not leaving you here. I've been at this damn hospital for three days now and I'm staying until you go home. I don't care what-”

He was cut off by the sound of footsteps behind him.

“Got the nurse,” Eddie said, an awkward smile on his face. The nurse, to her credit, ignored all the tension in the room.

“Let me get some hand sanitizer and gloves and I'll be right with you, Mr. Kinard.”

Buck sighed. He stepped even closer to Tommy. “I'm gonna go into the hall long enough for the nurse to check you out,” he said, maneuvering himself until he was halfway leaning over the bed, his arm on the other side of Tommy to prop himself up as he forced him to make eye contact. “I will be back in a few minutes. You have people who care about you, Tommy, whether you like it or not.”

With that said, Buck stood back up and left the room.

*****

Tommy spent a few more days in the hospital before he was released. There were only two times that Buck left long enough to get a shower and get a little rest in a real bed. Both of those times, he made sure Eddie was there the entire time.

Athena had come in to get his statement. Asked him all sorts of questions, most of which Tommy couldn't answer. He hadn't really gotten a good look at them. Only had very basic descriptions. He remembered the slurs they had hurled at him, knew they attacked because he was gay. He couldn't really figure out how they knew though. Besides being outside of that bar, it wasn't like Tommy ever did anything that screamed gay. Not that it mattered.

She'd been honest with him. There were no cameras at that part of the street, or in the alleyway. No one got a good description of the attackers, and the person who called the police only saw their shadows as they disappeared into the night. She'd do everything she could, but it wasn't likely they'd find these men. At least, not until they did this again.

Bobby stopped by once with some homemade chicken noodle soup. Buck had to feed him every bite, which made Tommy feel like he was about to cry the entire time, but he managed half a bowl before he had to stop. It was a million times better than anything the hospital had been feeding him, and he was glad to know Bobby had put some in his freezer to give Tommy when he got home.

Chim and Maddie came one evening. He'd been asleep when they got there, woke up some time during their visit, but he kept his eyes shut until they left.

Honestly, every time someone walked through the doors he felt more and more like running out of the hospital and finding a hole to fall into. Then, if he were lucky, someone would just shovel some dirt over him and let him rest.

These weren't his people. They were Buck's people. They didn't need to be there for him. They needed to hate him. They needed to laugh at his bruises and tell him he deserved every last one. They needed to yell at him for breaking Buck's heart to try and save his own.

That'd be a lot easier than this.

Thankfully, Hen and Karen didn't come by. They did send flowers though, and a card that explained both kids had strep throat and they didn't want to risk bringing that to the hospital. They'd come by Tommy's place once he was home.

He and Buck didn't talk about anything that needed to be talked about. All the unsent messages that had swirled through Tommy's mind didn't matter right now. It was like an unspoken rule between the two of them. Right now was not the time to try and fix whatever happened between them. Right now was about Tommy healing.

*****

As soon as they got Tommy home, Buck left Eddie with him so he could go to the pharmacy and pick up his medications. When he got back, Eddie headed out to go home and rest, promising to come back later with a variety of foods that would be easy on Tommy to eat.

The silence felt more... silent at Tommy's house. It was different now that they were at home instead of a hospital with people coming in and out at all times.

Tommy needed to do something, say something, to break the silence.

“I wasn't on a date,” he muttered out as Buck organized his pain meds on his nightstand.

Buck paused briefly before getting right back to it. “Didn't think you were.”

Tommy nodded. “Okay. I just, I don't know, didn't want you to think that.”

“You go to Georgie's when your brain is working overtime and you need it to quiet down.”

Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't know I ever told you that.”

“You didn't,” Buck replied, handing Tommy his pills and a glass of water. “I just know you.”

Tommy swallowed the pills, wincing slightly. His throat still felt scratchy even a week later. “I don't know how they knew,” he said as Buck took the water from him and set it on his nightstand.

“Who knew what?”

“Those guys that-” he stopped. “I don't know how they knew I was gay.”

“A lot of queer people hang out at Georgie's,” Buck answered. “They probably took a guess.”

The thought of it made Tommy's stomach lurch. “I've spent most of my life trying to make sure people couldn't guess.”

Buck watched him for a moment quizzically. “Tommy, you're not... You don't blame yourself for this, do you? You know this wasn't your fault, right?”

Tommy avoided eye contact with Buck. He felt so small right now. “I know I didn't do anything to provoke them.”

“That doesn't really answer my question.”

“I just... I don't know what I could have done differently. I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I... I should probably go to a different bar, maybe. I don't know.”

“You can't be serious right now.”

“This is everything I feared my entire life, Buck,” Tommy admitted and, God, he wished he could shut up right now. The pain pills were starting to make him a little loose lipped, mixed with him truly being alone with Buck for the first time since they broke up, mixed with an undeniable fear every time he thought about that night, seemed to make it impossible to close his mouth. “I did everything to make sure nothing like this would ever happen to me and it still did. I keep thinking about it and wondering how it could have been different. How I could have been different.”

“Tommy, can you look at me?”

Slowly, Tommy looked up at Buck, his eyes shining with tears.

“This was not your fault. There's nothing you could or should have done differently. You cannot let those five men shove you back into a closet.”

“I-” Tommy cleared his throat. “They're not. It's just... a lot right now.”

“I get that, I- I do. You look tired. Why don't you rest for a bit, okay? I'll be here when you wake up.”

“Buck, you don't-”

“If you tell me I don't need to stay I will force feed you bone broth when you wake up.”

Tommy shivered. “Ugh! I hate bone broth.”

“I know you do.” Buck gently pulled a pillow out from under Tommy, allowing him to lie back easier. “Close your eyes, get some rest. I'm here when you need me.”

*****

They were bound to fight sometime. Tommy had honestly expected it to happen sooner. Buck had been staying with him for three weeks now, only gone when he was working a shift. Bobby had let him work part time for now, with Carla caring for him when Buck was gone.

They'd managed to get past the initial awkwardness. Buck rambled about any and every subject he could think of. They'd watch movies together on the couch, with Tommy falling asleep halfway through due to his pain meds.

Buck would get Tommy tucked in bed, then set himself up on Tommy's floor in case he was needed during the night. Tommy had tried to insist he use the spare room, but Buck wouldn't hear of it. He knew Tommy wouldn't call for him if he needed him through the night.

Then Tommy tried to suggest he sleep in the bed. But that was a no go because, “I kick, Tommy, you know this. Do you really want another knee surgery?”

They'd been focused on Tommy getting better. And they'd been ignoring the many, many elephants in the room.

So, a fight was expected.

What wasn't expected was for the fight to start because Tommy needed to pee.

Buck had seemed a bit more on edge today, but Tommy chalked that up to a shift that ran longer than expected.

Tommy had grabbed his crutches, which he'd just been able to start using to go short distances. He still didn't quite trust himself to use them at night, but he was working toward relying on them more and relying on people less.

When he stood, Buck immediately stood with him.

“I'm fine, Buck. I just need to go to the bathroom.”

“I'll help you there.”

“I'm really fine. I can get there by myself.”

Tommy was sure he had kept his tone neutral. He definitely didn't want an argument tonight. But, before he could even make it two steps, he heard Buck scoff. “Not surprised.”

And maybe it was the full bladder making him extra bitchy, but Tommy couldn't help turning around and asking, “What's that mean?”

Buck shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing.”

“Obviously it's not nothing. If it were nothing you wouldn't have said anything in the first place. What doesn't surprise you?”

“Just you, ya know, pushing people away. It's what you do.”

“Ha!” Tommy laughed out. “If I'm pushing people away then I really suck at it because you haven't left my house in three weeks. I just need to pee.”

“I'm not talking about right now. I'm talking about me telling you that I loved you and you breaking up with me.”

How in the hell did they end up here?

“You didn't tell me you loved me, Evan!” Tommy exclaimed, unbelievably confused. The sudden change in tone caused Buck to take a step back.

He was only thrown off for a second, quick with a retort. “Of course I did!”

“No, you absolutely did not! You asked me to move in with you, but you did not tell me you loved me.”

“Wait. You asked him to move in with you?” Eddie's voice had them glaring in his direction. Both had forgotten he was even there in the first place. He raised his hands. “Sorry.”

“Well, I- it was obviously implied,” Buck argued. “I wouldn't have asked you to move in if I didn't love you.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?! You were making it sound like I was some gay hero that sewed the first pride flag! I don't even go to pride events, Evan! All the colors are far too bright and the glitter never leaves you.”

“Glitter is really annoying,” Eddie agreed.

Tommy pointed a crutch at him. “Thank you.”

“I was not trying to make you out to be some gay hero, Tommy! I was telling you that I was comfortable with you. I was telling you I wanted to spend all my time with you. I wanted us to be together!”

“You didn't even think it through, Evan!” Tommy motioned around the room. “I own a home. It comes with two bedrooms that have doors, a garage, a back yard, and two and a half bathrooms. You asked me to move into your loft.”

Eddie shook his head. “Oh, Buck.”

Buck's eyes shot over to him. “You're still here why?”

Eddie stood from his spot on the couch, grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I'm going. Later.”

They both stayed silent until they heard the door open and close.

Buck opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “This is our first fight, isn't it?”

Tommy nodded. “It is.”

“Took us long enough.”

Tommy managed a small smile. “Probably should have fought you that night, honestly.”

“I think I would have felt better if you did.”

“Me too.” Tommy took a deep breath. “I actually really do have to pee,” he said, shifting from one crutch to the other. “Can we pause this until I'm done?”

Buck nodded. “I'll be here.”

They didn't actually fight anymore after that. It was time for Tommy to take his meds, which made him tired, and Buck was tired himself from his shift. Tommy laid in bed, Buck snoring on the floor beside him, thinking it all over. All the things he still felt like he needed to say. The unfinished business they had between them.

The fight wasn't much, but it was something.

It was enough.

For now.

*****

“Are you sure you're good on your own?” Buck asked as Tommy limped behind him toward the door.

“I'm sure. I can successfully do everything on my own now with minimal to no pain.”

Buck turned back to him quickly, eyes wide. “But there's still pain?”

Tommy smiled. “I'm fine, Evan.”

Buck didn't look so sure. “Okay, I... Okay.” Instinctively, he moved forward to wrap Tommy in a hug. He stopped himself before he got too close, but Tommy responded by opening his arms.

Buck's posture relaxed as he gently wrapped his arms around Tommy, careful not to squeeze too tightly. "I was so worried about you," he whispered in the space between them.

"I know."

“You'll call the number I gave you?” he asked.

“I already did yesterday,” Tommy admitted. “When you went out to pick up dinner. My first session is next Monday.”

“Good. That's... That's good.”

“Thank you, Evan. For everything you've done for me. You didn't have to do that.”

Reluctantly, Buck pulled himself away from Tommy.

“Did you realize you've been calling me Evan since our fight a couple weeks ago?” he asked, lips upturning into a smile.

“Oh, um,” Tommy shifted on his feet, taking the pressure off his bad knee. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Don't be sorry. I hate when you call me Buck.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I'll always- I wanna be Evan, to you.”

Tommy nodded, staring into Evan's eyes. “Okay. That's. I'd like that too.”

Buck continued toward the door, stopping again as soon as his hand touched the handle. He looked back. “Hey, Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you think about texting me... hit send, okay?”

Tommy had never mentioned that before. But he'd caught Buck's near-texts to him too, so it didn't quite catch him off guard. “I'm kinda a mess, Evan. I'm not as comfortable as you think I am. I'm not... I'm still figuring things out.”

“That's okay. I am too. Text me anyway.”

“Even if I'm asking you out for a coffee? So we can talk? Really talk?”

“Date and time, I'll be there.” Buck smiled softly at him as he opened the door to leave. “I'll get your order right this time.”

[thedyingwriter]

somethings that i needed to get out regarding today's episode:

9-1-1 live airs in the US around 7 am Friday in my country and i get to watch it at 10:30 am on disney hotstar.

I couldn't wait so i was awake all night and was literally on twt since 6:30 am to get some clips.

that's where i find out that bucktommy break up.

i have been devastated all day. i have cried multiple times and i have literally lost count atp. it hurts like an actual breakup and i have absolutely no one irl to share this grief with.

the Abby being the ex-fiance wasn't even a major issue. i have been seen it done so well in so many fics.

Josh's speech was so beautiful and important but then to pull a breakup like that makes no fucking sense.

after what we saw in 8x5 breaking them made absolutely zero sense.

i was too overwhelmed so i tried to sleep and actually watched the entire episode around 11 am. I wanted to keep and open mind and analyse the episode.

twt is literally so toxic rn. I'm not even opening it.

after watching the entire episode i was even more confused as the breakup made zero sense.

we have had 8 seasons of character growth for buck, if they end up making him go back to casual relationships it just feels a complete wastage of 8 seasons of growth.

and from what we've seen in the past episodes the breakup was completely uncharacteristic to both buck and tommy.

it made no sense. why would tommy put so much effort if he knew it wouldn't last.

him constantly showing up for evan and talking about family just made zero sense for him to break up like that.

also it kinda felt weird to bring moving in together before saying i love yous.

and the way he said "the parking spot was too good to be true". this breakup doesn't feel good at all. he was obviously in pain and so was buck. this isn't doing any of them any good.

utter bullshit.

plus the "I'll see you around buck" broke me. like why the fuck would you do that to me and to buck.

it felt like someone put fucking alcohol all over a stab wound and then rubbed salt all over it.

LOW BLOW.

now coming to the post ep interviews which btw made it worse.

i was still under the impression that the way the breakup happened there was still hope for reconciliation because remember even tarlos went through breakups.

but then lou confirmed he might not be back and that this is it. specially that buck line. UGH.

and that #letbuckfuck interview with oliver really triggered me. I'm a bisexual woman and the reason i really loved buck's discovery of his sexuality was bcs Oliver was very determined in Givin a good bi rep.

but this doesn't feel that way. he could have said that he wants to see buck explore his sexuality more with both men and woman but the whole "girl, girl, guy. guy, girl, guy" montage was a very disturbing image.

it feels very stereotypical and biphobic.

it just hurts me so much. idk why i expected so much from a network tv show who has been queerbating for years.

i am gonna be watching this season just to see how they salvage buck's relationship and sexuality. it feels incomplete.

but if it goes in the buck 1.0 direction that's it for me.

i watch 911 as an escape from reality and if it goes so bad i am not continuing with the show.

it has already tested my limits and mental health enough.

also i need to point out that there are a lot of people who enjoy watching sports a lot more than they enjoy playing it. buck is a watcher. he would have loved seeing the Lakers match. just bcs he doesn't like to play doesn't mean he hates basketball.

a little extra side notes-

really excited for another buckley han kid. hope they don't ruin it. want to see how they deal with ppd this time.

also happy for eddie and really hoping he gets chris back soon.

ya'll need to understand how platonic friendship buddie is also so important rn then them getting together bcs eddie is def not ready to date.

if he starts dating he'll feel super guilty for putting his desire above chris all over again.

ALSO FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK- EDMUNDO DIAZ IS CANON STRAIGHT.

[louisferrignojr]

gotta say that i disagree that nobody fights for buck. in s5 taylor said it best: buck's life is full of meaningful relationships, actually. every person of the firefam would fight for and support buck. he is and will never be alone again in his life, especially during the hard times (which they reiterated in 8x05). meanwhile, we see thus being contrasted with tommy not having any kind if support system like that. the same seemed to be the case for taylor. i know people want tommy to fight for this, and i agree that i definitely need him to check his trauma and fears to work this out with buck. but buck is the main character that has had seasons of alleged development. he died and came back, got clarity, was supposed to finally feel good in his own skin, worked out his childhood trauma with his parents in therapy, formed a support system, now discovered he is bisexual and felt free with it. and now tommy is the only one who should grovel? i get the idea but. evan buckley is the character we have seen grow and learn. i want him to put in the work as well. look at how he fought for his job when he thought he would lose it forever. THAT is what i need from him rn. if he is just giving this up with a shrug, then i don't want bucktommy in canon. we have seen tommy taking care of buck and supporting him in all his shenanigans. i need to see that buck is absolutely serious about this and ready to fight for it. if he doesn't, he still hasn't found his true love or still doesn't know what he wants in life. i am bored by this. we have been here multiple times already. do something else with evan buckley finally or just allow him to be a bachelor forever.

okay yes buck has meaningful platonic and familial relationships.

no romantic partner has fought for him. abby ghosted him because of her own issues even though she's a fucking grown ass woman, ali got a reality check and broke up with him when he was in recovery after nearly dying, which okay, fair enough. and while i believe taylor did nothing wrong in reporting the jonah story, the narrative wants us to think she prioritised her work, and she did betray buck's trust which, again, buck wanted to protect his firehouse (which is his family) so he wasn't being objective. reporters exposing scandals within govt orgs that are supposed to protect the public is not a bad thing, actually. the only time he's broken up with someone first is natalia and we were told it's because she was obsessed with his died-and-came-back experience.

and listen. i love tommy more than anything. but buck is still the main character. we're going to see buck going through the breakup, not tommy. we're not going to get much about tommy's past. we're not going to get any scenes with tommy and another character if buck isn't also there. you remember karen going to chimney and them day drinking together because they thought hen was being unfaithful (again)? i wish we could see tommy and chimney talking about their buckleys. but the way the show got rid of all minor characters and consistently treats LIs as nothing more than LIs... i'm not hopeful. we'll get one scene with tommy's Explanation and i'm not even hopeful it's gonna be well written (but i'm sure lou will be serving. god. they wrote such a shitty break up scene and he fucking ATE.)

yeah, buck fucked up by jumping the gun and asking tommy to move in with him when he couldn't even say the i love you, and i hope this will be addressed in future eps. but tommy immediately ended the relationship because he Knows Better and left buck heartbroken. this is what happened on the show. the average viewer isn't doing ten layers of analysis to understand tommy's perspective, nor should they have to. i love the metas, i'm digging into tommy's headspace in my next fix it fic, but this is still the dumb weewoo show.

i don't think tommy needs to grovel, i don't think he's the Bad Guy in this story, i have a lot of empathy for tommy and so does the GA! they're not mad at tommy, they want him back! they want bucktommy back! and i want them both to fight for each other, to apologise and admit to their fuck ups and admit how much they care about each other and that they want to be each other's forever love! i want them to say i love you!

but buck is still the protagonist in this story and i don't want to see him running back to someone who broke up with him in such a way that had him asking "wait, did you just break up with me?" because again, this is what happened on our screens. i want tommy making the first move, opening the door for reconciliation, showing that he knows he made a mistake out of fear from his past trauma, for buck to then know he is wanted, that tommy came back for him, and then put in the effort to fight for them.

hope this makes sense. and as always, for people reading this - this is not the space for you to bash on buck's previous LIs, please take it elsewhere.

[madlori]

gonna be honest that Miceli spec at the start of episode feels real to me. i really dont vibe with the first date do-over resolution because i feel it's not intimate enough especially if i love yous will be said. but anyway isn't it canon that Tommy somehow ghosted her? maybe I'm confusing it with some fic lol im not sure. anyway imo I think that there's some potential there. imagine buck learning that it's the same Tommy that hurt Abby, so of course the seed is planted that maybe tommy is truly not who he thinks he is and maybe he is capable of ghosting him too. also there may be a full circle moment aspect of it that i cant put into words right now

We know Miceli's was scouted for 8x06 but afaik we don't even have confirmation it will be in the episode. If it is, I can envision any number of scenarios. TBH the one the anon posts, where revisiting the site of their bad first date leads to a discussion of Buck's first date with Abby, sounds pretty plausible. But revisiting the site of their bad first date to have a better one, also sounds plausible.

Ok. I went back and looked at the transcripts. Abby says VERY LITTLE about the Tommy she dated. In her first monologue in the pilot, she says that he broke up with her, and that wasn't her choice, and it was the worst breakup of her life. In a later episode, she says that SHE broke up with HIM. There's no information about why, or in what circumstances, they broke up. If if IS our Tommy, and their breakup was painful, well...breakups are painful. It doesn't make him a bad person if she was sad about it, any more than it makes her a bad person that Buck felt sad about THEIR breakup (at least, I don't think it does, some disagree).

I just don't see that presenting as something Buck would internally panic over. I'm sure if they wanted to use it, they'd find a way to write it.

I also suspect that, as happens like 90% of the time with spec, we fandomers are making a lot more of this "hurdle" than it will end up being in the episode.

I dont think it would be the worst thing ever if Abby turned out to be the thing Buck learns. I just think it would be a bit lazy. But I can also imagine Tim not being able to resist capitalizing on that coincidental use of the same name twice just because he'd think it was funny.

[raywritesthings]

What Have They Lost 2/?

My Writing Fandom: Arrow, The Flash Characters: Barry Allen, Iris West, Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Thea Queen, Connor Hawke, Ted Grant, Quentin Lance Pairings: Barry Allen/Iris West, Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: "I can definitely tell you that there’s a way we’re going to bring [Laurel] back and she’s going to be alive and well. And Flashpoint might have a little bit to do with that.“ -Wendy Mericle AKA: The AU where that wasn’t a blatant lie, and Flashpoint has bigger repercussions for Barry’s friends and allies than he first realized. *Also can be read on my AO3*

Oliver’s life was rarely dull ever since he boarded the Queen’s Gambit back in ‘07 with both of his parents and lost them to the sea, but the last few years particularly had had their ups and downs.

One of those big ups was Connor. Even if the kid could be a handful sometimes. But that was better than when he’d first got here.

Oliver stepped forward and ripped the arrowheads from the wall that were keeping Barry held back and handed the line off to Connor. “Not bad placement.”

Connor beamed up at him. “Thanks, dad.”

He reached out and ruffled his son’s hair, looking back to Barry with a grin of his own. “He’s getting almost as good as me.”

“Yeah, that’s- that’s good,” Barry said, staring at Connor with the weirdest look on his face.

Connor seemed to notice it, too, for he shrunk back a little. “I think I’ll go meditate for a bit. Let you two talk about whatever.”

Oliver nodded, seeing his son off before rounding back on Barry. “Want to explain anything?”

“It’s, um, complicated. Look, Oliver, can you just answer a couple questions without asking me why I don’t know the answers already?”

He raised an eyebrow, but said, “Alright, shoot.”

“Connor is your son.”

“Not a question, Barry.”

“I know, but he’s...he’s gotta be like fifteen, doesn’t he?”

Oliver looked down, grimacing. “He’s fourteen.” He didn’t need to look up to know there was a follow up question on Barry’s lips. “We all know I screwed around, okay? Can we leave it at that?”

He’d been sixteen and stupid, sneaking into a college party with his best friend, Tommy Merlyn. Tommy had played wingman for him with a college girl named Sandra, and they’d fallen into bed with more alcohol in them than was wise. He’d forgotten the condom, or ripped it in his clumsiness, or something. He couldn’t remember anymore. He’d put the night out of his mind for almost twelve years.

Sandra hadn’t, of course. She’d gotten pregnant with an underage boy’s baby. And so she’d disappeared, she’d had to. Back to her father’s ranch in Idaho. And only when Connor was old enough to know the truth about his father had he come looking for him, turning Oliver’s whole world upside-down.

Maybe Barry hadn’t gotten all the dirty details when he’d first met Connor, but he’d got the gist. So what was the deal?

“And you don’t have any other sons?” Barry asked next.

“Not that I know of. Barry, are you going to tell me what the point of this is? What does this have to do with — who’d you ask me about?”

“Laur- Dinah,” Barry corrected himself. “She goes by Dinah, and maybe you’ve heard some of her music, but uh—”

“Oh,” said Oliver. “You mean the singer? With the- what’s that band called — Bats or Birds or something?”

“Yeah,” said Barry, though he didn’t look all that happy they’d gotten on the same page. “Do you know her?”

“I know of her. Wouldn’t mind getting to know her,” he mused aloud. She was something else from the occasional photo or poster he’d seen. Those legs in those fishnets...

Barry coughed.

Oliver blinked and came back to himself. “Well, what about her, Barry?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain,” the speedster hedged. “Felicity didn’t happen to talk to you after I saw her a couple weeks ago, did she?”

Oliver frowned. “Barry, you know she doesn’t talk to me unless she has to anymore, right?”

Barry’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what? You’re not saying the breakup went worse?”

He gave a small snort. “Yeah, breakup. It was one date, Barry.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Because Connor came to me right after, and I was busy trying to verify if what he was telling me was the truth, remember? I asked you to run a paternity test?”

Barry’s head hung back. “And Felicity found out after and got upset and broke up with you?”

“Yes, except I did the breaking up. I’d just found out I had a kid, I wasn’t at all in a good place to be starting a relationship.” Truthfully, he was kind of glad things had worked out that way. He liked Felicity well enough, but at times they just couldn’t relate. He’d thought about dating her mostly because she was one of the few who knew his secret; it would’ve been practical. But love wasn’t practical. He’d been kidding himself.

Oliver shook his head. “Is there a reason you’ve developed selective amnesia?”

“There is. It’s just, I’m not sure how much I should say.”

“Well, if it’s about Connor, then I need to know. I’m his father, Barry.”

He stared the younger man down, who shifted uneasily.

“What do you know about time travel?”

“That you can do it? Or that speedsters can, I guess.”

“Okay.” Barry took a deep breath. “The thing is, I sort of time traveled this last spring and as a result some things changed.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Well, like, um, some things about your life and the people you know. It’s not all bad. I mean, Laurel’s still — Dinah, I mean. Dinah’s still...and Digg’s okay! I didn’t see anything about Thea, either.”

Oliver blinked. “Who’s Thea?”

Barry snapped out of his babbling, a lingering smile on his face. “Oliver, come on. Thea. Thea Queen? Your sister?”

“Barry, that’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be — Oh God. Does she not...exist? I — no, that can’t be right. I- I gotta go.”

And with one last horrified look, Barry was gone in a rush of wind. Oliver sat down hard, putting his head in his hands. What had just happened?

Barry had messed with time, and now something about Oliver’s life had him spooked. But it was his life. It didn’t feel strange or wrong to him. Was he just thinking that because that was how things had always been.

And what did a literal rockstar have to do with it? There was no way he could be connected to someone like her. His whole team never stopped reminding him of what a dork he was.

Oliver shook his head and left the base for the upstairs loft he shared with Connor. Owning the whole building did come with some perks.

Connor looked up from where he was sitting cross-legged on the couch, taking deep, even breaths. Oliver raised a hand. “Don’t let me interrupt you.”

“It’s okay. I just got here five minutes before you did.”

Oliver paused, then shook his head. He should have figured his son would’ve listened in. “Alright. What do you think? Uncle Barry’s gone round the bend?”

Connor made a face. “Doesn’t seem like he wants to be my uncle.”

Oliver’s smile dropped. “Connor, no. It’s not you, it’s speedsters. You know how big picture they get, zipping up and down through time. Makes me glad not to be one.” He settled down on the couch beside Connor. “Give Barry some time to readjust, and I’m sure it’ll be fine. And if not, I’ll be talking to Iris.”

If anyone had a problem with his son, he’d go to whoever he had to to set it right. Oliver couldn’t even fathom a world without his kid now, imperfect as their relationship had started out. He wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Connor smirked briefly, though it fell as he asked, “Dad, do you really have a sister?”

“I…”

He wanted to say no. Before today, he would have said so without thinking. But Barry’s confusion about the past had him thinking of his own past, of those dark, bygone years.

His mother wasting away in the liferaft, muttering feverishly into his shoulder as she clung to him. “Oh, my babies. My babies…”

“I’m right here, mom.”

“My beautiful boy. Keep her safe. Robert, Robert mustn’t know…”

“Know what, mom? Mom?”

She hadn’t responded, slipping into unconsciousness from which she never awoke.

He wrapped an arm around Connor’s shoulders to ward off the dark mood that usually came along with such recollections. “Honestly, I don’t know. There was a lot that my parents chose not to tell me. Not until the end.”

And if he did have a sister? All these years, he had failed his mother’s last request, to keep her safe. If she was even real.

He squeezed Connor tight for a moment before standing. “I’m going to be busy looking through the old family papers for a couple days, okay?”

“You want any help?”

“Nah, it’ll be boring. You keep up with your target practice.” He reached out and ruffled his son’s hair. “Since you’re determined to join me out on the field.”

“Okay, okay.” Connor brought up his hands to fend off the attack, so Oliver left for the kitchen to get started on making a late dinner.

He put on a pot of coffee for good measure. He was going to be pulling a lot of late nights.

—-

Mia wiped off the bartop with a rag as a young couple left their seats to head out into the evening air. There were a couple bucks left under an empty glass, and she quickly stuffed them into her bra. Better to keep track of tips than leave them lying around.

There was chatter from the booths and music blaring overhead. Larry was already taking up his end of the bar. Just another evening.

She felt a sort of charge to the air for a moment, and the ends of her hair whipped around her face. Quickly as it had happened, it stopped. Mia blinked and shook her head.

The front door opened and a man staggered through, making straight for her at the bar. He’d be cute if he didn’t look half-crazed.

“Okay. You’re still here. That’s- that’s good. Ollie’s not gonna kill me now.”

Mia arched a single eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ve just been looking the last two days. Between work and everything else, had to do it in stages,” he explained. “Actually, can I get a water?”

“Sure.”

Mia got it for him with growing bemusement, especially when he gulped it down and asked for another.

“You gonna actually buy anything?”

“Uh, no. Actually, I don’t drink. But, uh, I could tip you?” He added when she gave him a look.

“Yes, you could.”

He got out his wallet. “So, just to be sure, we’ve never met before, right? You have no idea who I am?”

“No. Should I?” Oh God, it’d be just her luck that this guy was from her druggie days.

He shrugged. “Depends how you look at it. I’m Barry.”

“Mia.”

His face scrunched up. “Mia?”

“Yeah, what about it?” She dropped a hand to her hip and snatached up the dollar he’d just laid on the counter.

“Nothing. But I guess it explains earlier.”

She wanted to ask him about that. She wanted to ask him about a lot of things, actually.

“Hey, can I get a scotch or what?” Larry called out, and Mia groaned in the back of her throat.

“Yeah, Larry.”

She pulled down another glass and poured out the drink. She was tempted to water it down a bit, but even sloshed he would probably notice. Mia scooped up the dollar tip he slapped down as she set the drink in front of Larry, then walked back down to the other end of the bar where her new friend sat.

“Did you just call that guy Larry?”

Mia shrugged. “Yeah, what about it?”

“But he’s…” Barry shook his head. “What can you tell me about him?”

“Just that he’s a regular. Why, what’s it to you? Wanna buy him a drink?”

“Um, no. Maybe. He’s here a lot then? Doesn’t he have family or something?”

Mia snorted. “That’s cute that you think people just ‘have family’ lying around waiting to take care of them.”

“Well. Don’t you?”

Mia froze for a moment, then turned to the rack of washed glasses while ripping a clean rag out of the bag they kept under the counters.

“Mia, what do you know about Oliver Queen?”

She snorted. “What, the trust fund brat they fished out of the ocean a few years ago? Heard he’s got a kid, doesn’t he?”

“He does, yeah. What about his parents?”

“They’re dead, aren’t they?” This guy was making less sense than the drunks.

“They are, but what else about them?” He had something pulled up on his phone, a news article or wiki page by the looks of it. “What about Moira Dearden Queen?”

“Her name’s Dearden?”

“Her maiden name, yeah.”

“Okay,” she said, forcing a laugh. “What’s the joke?”

“What do you mean?”

She leaned forward and muttered, “I mean, that’s my name. Mia Dearden.” A thought hit her. “Tell me you’re not gonna use that to stalk me.”

“No. No, I’m not trying to stalk anybody! I’m just trying to make something right. Something I screwed up.” He dragged both hands through his hair. “And there isn’t really a way I can explain why without sounding crazy.”

The door opened, and Mia looked up. “Oh my God.”

“I know, I probably do sound crazy already,” Barry groaned. “Iris tried to warn me.”

“No, not you.” Mia swatted at his arm impatiently. “Is that- I mean, maybe she’s just a lookalike—”

“Who?” Barry started to turn around in his seat.

“Don’t just stare!” She hissed, as she stared at the blonde walking across the room to the end of the bar. She didn’t sit down, instead stopping by...Larry’s chair?

“I’m not crazy, right? That’s Dinah from Birds of Prey.”

“Sure is,” Barry said with a grimace.

Mia only barely held in a squeal.

—

Dinah stepped off the train and drew in a deep breath. Yep, same old Star.

“You sure you don’t wanna skip the old man this time? You can always mail him,” Ted suggested.

She shook her head. “This is the only way I can make sure he’s still kicking, Ted.” If barely, she added mentally.

He shouldered both of their duffles and passed her a set of keys. “Alright. Here’s for the apartment. And don’t let him get to you.”

“Nothing gets to me.”

She shrugged deeper into the shoulders of her beat up leather jacket before marching off. It was a fifteen minute walk from the train station to the old walkup, and in that time she was catcalled three times and only stomped on two sets of toes. On her best behavior, really.

She entered the front hall with its sour milk smell to find the old landlord Nichols pounding on her dear old dad’s door. “Lance, I’m warning you this time! You’re three weeks late!”

“Hey.”

He turned and sucked in his gut at the sight of her.

“Oh, uhhh.”

“Give me a minute to get it all squared away, would you?” She smiled with no teeth as she slipped by him and bent to snag the key out from under the threadbare mat. Dinah could feel the old lecher’s eyes on her.

She entered the empty apartment and thumbed through a stack of bills. He was falling behind again.

Dinah took out the envelope of money she’d brought with her, fishing out several twenties before leaving the rest on top of the bills. Then she exited the apartment and locked up.

“Here you go,” she told Nichols sweetly, tucking the bills into his breast pocket. Then with a light shove to get him out of her way, she left the building.

From there, she hit the bars, from closest to furthest. It was in the fifth one that she spotted him hunched over a scotch.

He’d gone totally bald last year, but it was still strange to see. He looked older, frailer somehow even without the scraggly mess that used to sit there. Dinah walked up and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey.”

Her father raised his head from the bar top, bloodshot eyes taking her in before he snorted in disgust. “What’ve I told you about walking around looking like that, huh? You hoping to get jumped?”

Dinah crossed her arms. “I can take care of myself. And I wear what I like.”

“Yeah? Does that Grant like it? Lousy old—”

“I don’t wanna fight about Ted. You know he thinks anyone who isn’t in sweats is just screwing themselves anyway.” She pulled the stool beside his over and sat with her back to the bar, a nonverbal signal she wasn’t interested in what they were selling.

“I ran into Nichols in your building. You’re all paid up.”

He scoffed into his drink. “I don’t need charity.”

“Right, just your rent,” she observed dryly. “Dad, why don’t you let me buy you a house?”

“I just said—”

“It wouldn’t be charity. It’d be, I don’t know.” She pushed her hair back behind one ear. “It could be our house. You know?”

He actually put the glass down. “Our house with you running all over the country? Yeah right. We haven’t had a house since you were eight years old. Bet you wish she’d taken you too, huh? Dinah?”

“Don’t do this here,” she muttered.

“Well, why’d you take back her name?” He accused, turning sideways to face her head on. “Why’re you doing any of this, selling yourself to all these people? You were gonna do something with your life once. Remember that? Always told me you wanted to save the world, just like your pops,” he said, voice breaking on the last word. He swayed a bit on the stool.

“Yeah, well my pops got kicked off the force for drinking and left his daughter in foster care,” she answered stiffly. “You sort of forget about the world when you’re just trying to save yourself.”

He blinked and shrunk back. “Laurel—”

She shrugged off his hand when he tried to reach out. “Go home, dad. You’re only embarrassing yourself.”

She stood and left him sitting there with his drink, heading straight for the door. She didn’t hold out any hopes that he would listen to her advice. He never listened to anybody’s.

Dinah glanced sharply over her shoulder. All she saw was a line of patrons sitting at the bar and a young bartender at the end drying the same glass over and over. She shook her head and left out the front door. Probably just paranoia.

But she could swear someone had been watching her.

—-

Barry shrunk down at the other end of the bar, hoping he hadn’t been spotted. At the sound of the door swinging shut, he relaxed.

“Wow,” Thea — or Mia, he guessed, breathed. “I can’t believe Dinah from Birds of Prey just walked right in here! How does some loser like Larry know her anyway?”

“He’s her father,” Barry said on a sigh.

“What?”

“Or he was. I — this is a mess.”

“How do you know? You friends with her or something?”

“Or something,” he replied.

“Lucky,” said Mia enviously. He wanted to tell her that she had it all wrong, that she was the one who was good friends with Laurel. That they were like sisters, inseparable.

But they weren’t. They were strangers. He was sitting in a sea of strangers.

Barry stood. “Uh, listen, thanks for the water. And- and take care of yourself, okay?”

“Sure.” She gave him another crooked smile like she was trying not to broadcast her thoughts that he was being weird. Then she took his glass and took it over to wash.

There were more piercings in her ear than he thought she’d had. The knuckles on her right hand were bruised. Did she still fight? Did she have a place to stay? Were they okay like this, and was there any way for him to judge it fairly? Some way to stack up the improvements against the drawbacks and put his conscience to rest.

Larry Lance fell off his stool. Barry ducked his head and left the bar. He didn’t think he could offer his help, knowing he’d done this to the man.

Out on the street, he looked both ways, trying to spot Laurel. Or Dinah. For some reason, it was harder for him to think of her that way than the others; maybe because he wanted more than the others for her to be exactly as she’d been before the prison riot, before Darhk, before Oliver and the others had lost her.

Barry didn’t have to search far.

“She said to let her go,” he heard her familiar voice from down the end of an alley. “Or do you need your hearing checked?”

When Barry stopped just outside the entrance of the alley, he found Laurel standing with her arms crossed in front of two men, one of whom was tugging on the arm of another terrified looking woman.

“Hey, this is my girl, alright? Stay out of it,” the man holding the woman at his side said. “Unless you wanna keep my buddy company.”

His friend cracked his knuckles.

“Very cute,” Laurel remarked. Her tone was light, but Barry recognized that stance. Whether she knew it or not, that was the Black Canary.

The second guy advanced menacingly. “I’ll show you cute.”

Just as Barry was preparing to intervene — rush the innocent woman to safety, then deal with these less than exemplary examples of the male species — Laurel made her move.

Only he’d been wrong. It was Siren’s move.

The sound waves crashed into the guy and sent him flying as she screamed, and he rolled to a stop just before the alley wall.

“Jesus!” The first man exclaimed. His supposed woman took off running in his distraction. He picked his friend up off the ground and the two men tore off in the opposite direction.

Laurel stood breathing heavily in the alley, fists clenched at her sides. Then she looked over her shoulder.

Their eyes met. Laurel’s breath stuttered in her chest. Barry gave a slow, disbelieving shake of the head. Then he drew one step back.

Barry ran. He ran all the way to Central, to Joe’s house, and up the stairs. He found himself stopped outside Iris’ door.

It was late, way too late. But he knocked anyway.

Iris answered in mere minutes. Her laptop was sitting open on her bed with her notebook beside it. Her hair sat in a knot on top of her head. The easy smile she wore slipped off her face at the sight of him.

“Bear? What’s wrong?” She reached to touch his arms. “Did you find Thea?”

Mia, Larry, Connor, Dinah — it was wrong, it was all wrong, and he couldn’t fathom the careless damage he’d done.

So he buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and cried.