#buck and eddie in a house in el paso in rooms that are right next to each other. both headboards of their beds up against the shared wall

[originalcrime]

fic where buck follows eddie to el paso, ostensibly to help him get settled, and then doesn’t leave. and doesn’t leave. also his name is on the deed. also he picked the new tile for the kitchen backsplash. also at some point they started kissing on the mouth

[exhuastedpigeon]

Three months in to living in El Paso and Eddie is desperate to get back to L.A. Chris is living with him again, his job is fine, but the only thing that feels right is having Chris back. The house is getting there, but realistically the only rooms that are good are Chris's, the bathroom, and the kitchen. There's no way he'll get it fixed up good enough to sell it on his own, at least not quickly.

He's on the phone with Buck lamenting about how both he and Chris want to come back to L.A. but he just can't afford that, not with a mortgage on a house that no one in their right mind would buy.

Then on his next 48 off there's a knock at his door. He isn't expecting anyone, Chris is spending the day with Sophia, Eddie was planning on making a go at replacing the floorboards that are literally rotting in his room, but that can wait. He answers the door and Buck, Bobby, Hen, and Chim are all standing there. Buck's got his hands tucked into his pockets and a bashful smile on his face when he says, "Seemed like you could use some backup."

Eddie just kind of stare at them. but mostly at Buck. Because he's 800 miles away from L.A., from his family that he built there, and instead of letting him suffer and try to dig himself out on his own, they're all here.

Bobby smiles and holds up his tool box, Chim shrugs and says, "Just make sure there's no flying rebar and put me to work." and Hen smiles at him and says she's got dibs on anything that needs to be hit with a sledge hammer.

So they all come in and Bobby and Hen get working on the rotten floorboards and Chimney takes one look at the state of the bookshelves (shelves still broken, books still in boxes on the floor) and decides that's his project.

Then it's just Buck and Eddie standing there in the living room and Buck's getting a little fidgety so he says, "I-I know this is probably a lot, b-but I mentioned that you and Chris miss L.A. and the reason you can't move back is this stupid house and they all asked when we could come help get you home."

It hits Eddie right there in the living room of this house that will never be his home. He loves this man. He loves all of the 118, loves them like they're family, but Buck is different. Buck is – Buck is Buck. And what's he supposed to do except kiss him?

Chim lets them have their moment but then he says, "Pretty sure the faster we work the faster you two will be able to do that all the time."

And they both laugh and smile and Buck kisses Eddie again just because he can. And then Eddie grabs his to do list and hands it to Buck (much to Bobby, Hen, and Chim's chagrin).

They get all the projects on Eddie's list done before the 118 leaves and a month later Eddie and Chris are back in L.A., where they belong, and the house in El Paso is on the market.

[setmeatopthepyre]

fuck it friday

not tagged by anyone 'cause I'm being the change I want to see in the world etc etc etc

from pothos | pathos pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5

-

Eddie is on his couch, aimlessly swiping through housing listings, vaguely hoping that the next generic wide-angle picture of a soulless sunny living room will suddenly give him all the answers he needs, when the doorbell rings.

He opens the door without looking. He gets as far as “I’m still all out of flour from last time--" when he realizes it’s not Buck on his doorstep at all. It takes a second because he's not used to seeing the captain of the 122 in anything other than a suit or a set of turnouts. “Deluca?” he says, surprised. “I thought poker night was next week.”

“I ain’t here to clear you out this time, Diaz,” Deluca says.

Eddie huffs. As if. The man barely has a filter and that translates fairly directly to the efficacy of his poker face.

“Are you gonna let me in, or what?”

“Sure. If you tell me to what I owe the visit.” Eddie’s already stepping aside, letting him in.

Deluca strides in like he owns the place, crossing his arms as he takes in the living room. “Is it just you?”

“Yes…?” he says slowly, following him in. He snatches his nearly-empty bottle from the table, lifts it and points from the bottle to Deluca in the universally understood gesture for you want one?

“Yeah, sure,” he says.

Deluca doesn’t offer up an explanation for his presence as Eddie cracks open two bottles of beer, hands one off to the man still standing in his living room like he’s trying to decide if he wants to be there at all, and sinks down onto the couch again for lack of anything better to do.

Deluca doesn’t sit, but he does take a long swig of his beer and narrow his eyes at Eddie. Finally he asks, “You seen Tommy?”

Eddie nods. “Couple of days ago. Why?”

“Any clue what the hell is wrong with him?”

What, this guy, too? Eddie rubs at his eyes. “How about you tell me why you’re asking?”

Deluca glares at him some more, seems to come to some decision, and sinks down on the other side of the couch with a huff. “He skipped out on my little girl’s birthday.”

Eddie blinks. He isn't sure what he’d been expecting, maybe something more akin to Buck’s vague hunches, but not… this.

He does vaguely recall the subject of Deluca’s kids coming up at poker night, though. Racks his brain for a second. “You’ve got three kids, right?”

Deluca eyes him for a second, but it’s less of a glare this time. “Yeah. Two girls and a boy. Oldest just turned ten, youngest is three.”

“Huh,” is all Eddie finds himself saying. Thinks for a moment, again, of Christopher, of the birthday party Eddie only got glimpses of over a video call. He really needs to stop procrastinating and just pick a damn house. Maybe he should just go to El Paso and see from there.

But this isn’t about him.

“And… Tommy usually goes to your kids’ birthday parties?”

“Goddamn right he does. He’s their favorite uncle.”

Uncle? “Hold on, you guys are…?”

“Jesus H. Christ, Diaz,” Deluca says with a roll of his eyes. “Do you want a copy of my family tree? No, we ain’t related, but we might as well be.”

Eddie raises a hand in surrender. The guy’s clearly passionate about this.

“The important thing is,” Deluca continues, eyes intense and jabbing a finger in Eddie’s direction, “The man has showed up to every single goddamn birthday and big event, and now he skips Sophie’s big ten? Something’s goin’ on.”

There’s a simple solution to that, if you ask Eddie. “Did you ask him about it?”

“Who the hell do you think I am? Of course I did. You know what he did?” Eddie gets the feeling he’s not actually expected to answer and Deluca proves him right. “He goddamn apologized.”

He frowns. “I don’t know man, that seems… reasonable?”

Deluca gets to his feet with a grunt of frustration, starts pacing. “Don’t be an idiot, Diaz. You have any clue what Tommy does when he knows he’s fucked up?” It’s another rhetorical question. “One of three things,” Deluca says, raises one finger. “Either he gets defensive and turns into the world’s most sarcastic asshole--” A second finger goes up. “He turns into a pathetic pile of misery and then moves heaven and earth to make things right--" Third finger. “Or he shuts down completely. What he doesn’t do is fuckin' apologize and then pleasantly ask me if Sophie had a nice day. So you better tell me now, what the hell did Buckley do to him?”

“Now hold on,” Eddie sets his bottle down, gets to his feet as well. “Buckley--- Buck didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah? Then why the hell does Tommy tell me they’ve broken up and then turn into a fucking pod person?”

Eddie sighs. He’s pretty sure he’s getting a migraine or something. “You better ask him, because he broke up with Buck, not the other way around.”

Deluca falters, mouth snapping shut from where he’d looked about ready to yell at him some more. “What?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, shrugs.

“That goddamned idiot,” Deluca mutters.

-

tagging @sugarpenchant @beanarie @rcmclachlan @emphasisonthehomo @rimatsu @trombonechurchill @leashybebes @geddyqueer @ambernotember

tag list for those who requested tags for this fic under the cut ↓

@fiyaerrigan @bisexualbrainrots @leashybebes @louuieferrignojr @rubydaiquiri @teabroomsandbooks @crimsonwildcat-blog @sweaters-and-silly @nochance-noway @manifestingchaoticvibes @hyperfocusthusly @frogsinflannel @beanarie @rcmclachlan @sad-girl-hours23 @ambernotember @apartmentsmoke @bidisasterevankinard @agentpeggycartering @eliotwaughdeservesbetter @daughterofscotland

let me know if you wanna be added or removed!

[its-not-nothing]

Okay, hear me out. Next episode, in El Paso, Eddie just ended a FaceTime with Buck, Chris comes into the living room.

"You talk to Buck a lot."

"Do I?" Eddie says with a laugh.

"Do you miss him?" Chris asks in a direct, serious way. Eddie stops in his tracks, surprised by the question.

"I mean... yeah, I guess I do, buddy. He's my... best friend."

"This is difficult for you... being here. Isn't it?"

"This isn't about me, Chris. I want to be here, for you. With you."

"But... I don't want you to be sad."

"Sad? I'm not sad!"

"You seem sad, sometimes. I notice."

"Chris..."

"I miss him too." Eddie feels like he's just been punched in the gut. "Buck. And my friends in L.A. And Carla."

"Christopher, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Eddie asks slowly, carefully, not yet wanting to believe it.

"I think we should go home."

"To... L.A.?" Eddie needs to make sure he's understanding correctly.

"Yeah."

Eddie lets out a big sigh. "Okay... okay! We can go home, buddy! Well, Buck lives in our house now, so, we'll have to find a sol-"

"I don't mind."

"You don't mind?"

Chris shrugs. "I don't mind living with Buck." Eddie is taken aback. "And I don't think you would either, dad. You're always happier when you're around him."

"I'm not... Well, Chris... I mean... we can't just live with Buck indefinitely."

"Why not?"

"Because... because... we're not his family."

"We could be."

Eddie is surprised by the turn of the conversation, and doesn't know what to say. We could be. Somehow these words make his heart feel warm and his stomach flutter. A family. The three of them. Eddie, Chris, and Buck. Buck loves Chris so much. And Chris loves Buck, Eddie knows that. And Eddie... Oh. Oh. Wait. Of course. How did he not see this before? Eddie... loves Buck. He loves Buck so much, actually. Probably always has, he just didn't have a name for that feeling. But this is what it is, right? It has to be. It all makes perfect sense now. Everything feels like it's falling into place. Eddie, Chris, and Buck. A family.

The smug smile on Chris' face tells Eddie his train of thought had just been written all over his face.

"Took you long enough."

[alwaysyoonjh]

I usually just lurk here and enjoy everybody’s theories on what will happen on 8B but after seeing this particular still, i can’t get this idea out of my head. so ig here it is and apologies in advance for what is essentially word vomit.

I’m thinking, Buck offered to help Eddie pack after shift, which is the reason why he isn’t saying goodbye to him at the station yet. He comes over and managed to act normal the entire time they were packing. However, once everything is packed, and the house is stripped of any trace of Eddie or Christopher, it hits Buck full force and he can’t keep quiet anymore. He starts telling Eddie that maybe he should just rent first, see if he can talk Chris into coming home, and all that. Eddie gets frustrated because why is Buck bringing this up now? They’ve been looking at houses together, Buck has been very supportive. Why is he suddenly doing this now? Right when he’s supposed to leave the next day. It turns into a mini argument and Buck says it’s just a suggestion, that maybe Eddie doesn’t have to uproot the life that he’s built in LA to get Chris back and Eddie replied with something along the lines of “there’s nothing left here in LA for me” and Buck retracts, surprised by how those words hurt him, and he apologized for making Eddie feel like he’s questioning his decision. He told him he has to go so Eddie can rest for the long drive, leaving no room for Eddie to stop him.

Buck comes back the next day to send Eddie off. He ignores the pain that he’s been feeling since Eddie said those words and stopped every attempt Eddie did to bring the conversation up again. Eddie realizing Buck doesn’t intend on talking about it, drops it because Chris should be the priority now. But he continues to be bothered by it the entire ride to El Paso. Can’t keep the flash of hurt on Buck’s face away from his head.

Meantime, Buck feels like he’s walking around with a knife stabbed into his heart ever since that conversation and he doesn’t understand why it hurt him so much. He tries to act okay but everyone around him can tell he’s spiralling. One of them finally decides to sit him down and talk about it and he tells them about the conversation. About Eddie saying there’s nothing left for him in LA while Buck is standing right in front of him. that he wasn’t even a consideration, not a good enough reason to want to stay. this is when he understood why it hurts so much. this is how he realizes what he really feels for Eddie.

Eddie on the other hand, manages to fix things up with Christopher. He isn’t living with him yet, but they’ve been talking and they are at a point that Eddie knows they’re gonna be okay. But he’s confused because why does he still feel miserable? He chose joy, he chose Christopher. He’s supposed to feel happy, to feel whole again. But why does it feel like he’s still missing something? His mind flashes back to the night before he left LA, the argument with Buck. The flash of hurt he saw from Buck’s face, after saying there’s nothing left for him in LA. But that’s not true is it? He left something back in LA. He remembered something Bobby said, about how having a child is like having half of your heart outside of your body. He went to El Paso to get his son back, to get the other half of his heart back. But what he didn’t realize is that in his desperation to get that other half back, he left the other half in the process. Because that’s what Buck is, the 2nd most important person in his life. This is how he realizes how he feels.

Eddie would struggle with it for days, how it means for him and his sexuality. Shannon, his other previous relationships, and how he always feels like he has to perform. The catholic guilt of it all. Chris sees it, because of course he did. His dad is doing it again where he tries to suck up whatever he’s going through in favor of him. But what his dad fails to see is that Chris wants him to be happy too, that his happiness hinges on Eddie’s happiness, the same way Eddie’s hinges on Christopher’s. He finally brings it up to Eddie over dinner. And Eddie finally tells him everything, including what he feels towards Buck. Chris is glad Eddie is finally opening up, telling him it would make him happier if Eddie chooses himself too. Eddie realizes this is it what it meant to choose joy. It’s not choosing to follow Chris, nor to choose Buck. It’s choosing to acknowledge and embrace who he really is. Eddie thinks it’s still going to be hard, but if his son, the most important person in his life, has essentially given him his blessing, then no one else’s opinion matters.

Chris tells him he misses LA, he misses Buck and he wants to come home. Eddie does too. So they did.

[lihhelsing]

For the first three nights after Eddie moved to El Paso, Buck slept on the living room couch. 

He didn't tell anyone, afraid of the pitying looks he knew he would get if he did, but he couldn't find it in himself to walk to Eddie's room and sleep in Eddie's bed. It felt too much like crossing a line. 

Sure, he had slept in Eddie's bed once or twice, but Eddie usually was there and Buck was scared shitless of the loneliness he would feel alone in it. 

Just him, and Eddie's old pillows that faintly smelled like him and the whole emptiness of the place. 

On the fourth night, Buck was too drunk to remember he didn't want to sleep alone. He went out that night, by himself, to try and hook up with someone, but no one had gotten his attention and Buck didn't do that kind of thing anymore. 

He didn't hook up with strangers to ignore his feelings, that is. 

What he did do, though, was drink until he couldn't walk straight and then head home with enough of a buzz that feelings weren't something he needed to think about. 

The problem was that  he'd struggled with his uber app, typing his old address instead of Eddie's house, and by the time he got home (back to Eddie's house, that is) Buck was slightly less buzzed. 

Enough to forget his decision to sleep on the couch. But not enough to avoid feelings once he walked inside Eddie's room and was assaulted by Eddie. 

Well, not Eddie himself, but Eddie's presence, in a way. 

Eddie's smell was the first thing. Still impregnated in the room. Then Eddie's sheets that Buck supposes he didn't want to take to El Paso for some reason. And finally... 

Buck walked to the side table, eyes locked in a picture frame he had seen countless times. 

In it, there was a photo of Eddie and Chris. One that Buck himself had taken a few years back. Buck knew that he kept that on his bedside, of course. Had seen it a million times, probably, which was exactly why it struck him as odd that Eddie had forgotten about it. 

Maybe Eddie had wanted to take it with him instead of put in the boxes, afraid that it would break, somehow, and then he simply ended up forgetting. 

But it was such an important picture. Wouldn't Eddie have missed it already? 

Eddie mentioned he had started going through his boxes, emptying them slowly as him and Chris settled up in El Paso. But if he had decided to take that out of a box, then Eddie must've missed it, right? 

Why hadn't he asked Buck about it yet? 

Buck fished his phone in his pocket and snapped a picture the picture frame, opening up Eddie's chat and starting to type. 

'Hey! I think you forgot this.' 

Buck's finger hovered over the green send button, but he couldn't find it in him to press it. He erased the message, biting his lip. 

Telling Eddie his precious picture with Chris wasn't lost was the right thing to do. But then again, how would Eddie get it anyway? It wasn't like he was about to make the drive back just for a photo right?

And sure, Buck could mail it to him, but that would be expensive. The best thing Buck could do was keep it safe for Eddie until he came to visit. Right? 

Buck put the picture back where it belonged and placed his phone right next to it, getting ready for bed, and for the first time ever since Eddie left, he fell asleep in Eddie's bed, with his favorite picture of him and Chris beside him. And for the first time ever since Eddie left, Buck didn't feel so alone.

[theevidenceileave]

Buck moving into Eddie's house to "take care of it" until Eddie comes back, still holding out hope regardless.

He has to bring his stuff over from the loft. Obviously, but he keeps it separate because he doesn't feel like he should disrupt their (Chris and Eddie's) space.

But Eddie stays in Texas and he gives Buck free reign on his house and it hurts his heart but Buck starts finding it easier and easier to change things around because Eddie's house has always felt like home, of course he's gonna take care of it

Even though Eddie's not there.

And then Buck runs into Tommy, who's well meaning but still hurtful when he says this sounds too similar to the Abby situation - Buck acting like a ghost in a house that isn't his, waiting for someone to come back who might not. And Tommy would know, wouldn't he? He just wants better for Buck because he's not evil, but Buck bristles at the idea because Eddie is nothing like Abby, ok? He's everything, and he loves Buck (he said so!), and he's not leaving forever he's just figuring some things ou-

Oh.

That gets Buck where it hurts, and he realizes not for the first time how much he loves Eddie, needs him, and he can't just sit with this on his mind. So he bakes. And he cleans. And he starts moving himself around. He's not a ghost - he's alive and full of love he doesn't know where to put, so he directs it to the house.

If Stress Baker Buck was bad, Interior Designer Buck is a whole other level. His old stuff is moved in and put away, and the cabinets are reorganized. Pictures all over the walls of him and Chris and Eddie and the rest of their family. New paint on the walls, new rug on the floor. Same couch.

Most of Eddie and Chris's things stay. He takes what Eddie's left behind and cleans it, putting them back in their rightful place. With how much he took with him to El Paso, there's enough space in the drawers and closet for Buck's clothes to sit next to Eddie's, and Buck thinks he shouldn't love the way their socks look folded up next to each other as much as he does.

And Chris's room has been mostly untouched since he left, Eddie needing to sit there some days to find comfort in the mess Chris left behind. Eddie had taken some things with him when he left, hoping it'll bring Chris familiarity, and the rest Buck takes himself to sit with him in Eddie's (no, his) closet. A babybox of sorts, because he may not have known Chris when he was a baby but he's Buck's baby regardless, and this small collection of pictures and toys and too-small t shirts is all he has of him right now.

He doesn't tell Eddie. He can't tell Eddie, not because he's afraid he overstepped, but because he'd have explain to him why he chose a paint color exciting enough for Chris and muted enough for Eddie, deciding on a rich color they'd all love. He'd have to explain why Chris's drawing of "family" from when he was 9 is centered on the wall, surrounded by real photos of him and Eddie and Shannon and Buck with wide smiles and heart frames. He'd have to explain why he gets a dog, names it Krypto after his Superman and chooses a breed he knows is good with kids. Why he trains the dog to become a service animal for someone with physical disabilities.

He can't explain without being horribly, terribly obvious, so he doesn't.

But he'll have to, eventually, and sooner than he thinks because Eddie and Chris are coming home to surprise him.

[heygirltimeformorning]

can i go where you go

This is inspired by this text post from @buckdiazlafd - thank you thank you thank you - and is posted with their permission.

enjoy~*

*

The last 24-hours have been a real shit-show. Buck is pretty sure Eddie being crushed by a mudslide less than 48 hours after announcing he was looking at houses in El Paso is a sign from the universe that Eddie should not move to El Paso, but Buck’s learned not to bring the universe up with Eddie, because Eddie doesn’t believe in the universe, not like that, and, well, Buck had major mine flashbacks when Eddie had shot him one wild, helpless look, and then disappeared under, like, ten feet of mud.

Maybe that’s dramatic. Buck hadn’t whipped out his ruler (he doesn’t carry a ruler -- quit looking at him like that, Chim) to measure how many feet of mud it had been, but it had been enough that something icy and cold and really fucking terrible had grabbed ahold of Buck’s heart and squeezed, and Buck had thought: not again, you bitch at the universe, because Eddie might not believe in the universe, but Buck does, and Buck has learned to have a healthy respect for the universe and all its screaming.

The point is: Eddie had been crushed by mud and debris, and Buck (because he’s Buck) had dug through the mud until his fingers were bleeding (stop looking at him like that, Bobby) to get to him, hauling him out of the ground like one of those Harry Potter plants, only Eddie hadn’t been screaming, he’d been silent, and Buck’s chest felt like it was caving in.

It turns out that getting crushed by 10 feet of mud (or however much mud and debris Eddie had been crushed by -- again, Buck hadn’t had his ruler stop looking at him like that, Chim -- is not exactly compatible with life. Eddie hadn’t been dead -- Buck’s heart plummets to his toes and starts screaming like one of the Harry Potter plants at the thought of that -- but he’d been hurt badly enough to need surgery and Buck had sat in the waiting room next to Bobby, hair wet and plastered to his forehead, looking pitiful enough that Hen had wrapped one of the emergency blankets around his shoulders, which really completed the look, and thought if Eddie dies, I have to move to El Paso for Christopher which, look.

It’s not like Buck hadn’t thought about moving to El Paso when Eddie had dropped that particular bomb in his life a day or so ago (Eddie had said he was looking at houses in El Paso, and Buck had thought please stay please stay please stay - I’ll come with you before he said Eddie needed help finding houses) but it hadn’t been moving to El Paso to take care of Chris because Eddie had been killed by ten feet (or whatever, fuck off, Chim) of mud. That wasn’t the plan.

Buck isn’t sure what the plan was, but El Paso wasn’t involved, not beyond getting Chris’ punk ass back to LA, and the mudslide killing Eddie also wasn’t part of the plan -- but Eddie wasn’t dead (not-dead, not-dead, not-dead, his heart echoes) and El Paso was put on hold and Chris -- fuck. He hadn’t thought about Chris. Well, he had -- Chris is always just kind of in the back of his mind -- but he hadn’t thought about the mudslide and Eddie and Chris as like, a unit, and, well. Fuck.

That isn’t a problem he has to solve right now, he thinks. That isn’t something he has to do right now. Eventually? Yes. He needs to tell Chris that Eddie was crushed by a mudslide, and that he had surgery and that -- that -- what? That he needs to get his punk ass back to LA? Ideally, yes. Point being: that isn’t something Buck has to solve right now.

What he does have to solve right now is the fact that Hen has brought him a tshirt and a pair of sweats from the firehouse and is giving him one of her mom looks (Buck feels bad for Denny and Mara), pointing to the bathroom with a look that said that if Buck didn’t go of his own volition, he’d be taken there by force, and Buck did have one very confusing sex dream about Hen once (when he first started at the firehouse), but he doesn’t want to get on her bad side (her worse side), so he takes the clothes and goes.

Hen makes him drink a coffee, a bottle of water, and a sandwich, because she’s a bossy lesbian, and then Buck sits and waits, and thinks about the universe and Eddie and screaming. And Chris. He thinks about Chris, too, and when the surgeon comes out and says Diaz, Buck stands up so fast he knocks his half-empty cup of coffee over because he’s never been great at coordinating his limbs, but Hen takes care of it for him and Bobby has a hand on his shoulder, and the surgeon says everything went well, he’s still pretty out of it, but he’ll be okay and something finally loosens in Buck’s chest.

And then the nurse shows him back to Eddie’s room, and Buck has kind of gotten used to this - he thinks he knows what to expect - but then  he gets to the door of the room and Eddie’s face splits into an easy grin -- he’s so much lighter like this (yes, Chim, without the 10 feet of mud, but also metaphorically) -- and Buck’s breath catches in his chest and, look.

Buck has known he’s in love with Eddie since Eddie opened the door in a pink oxford and tighty-whiteys, mustache-less and flushed with joy, so beautiful it’s like a physical ache Buck can press his thumb into, make it hurt when he’s alone, when he’s alone in his loft and it’s night and he’s hard and just once, he’ll just think about him once, nobody has to know -- Buck has known, is the point. Buck is a little slow on the uptake, but he isn’t stupid, and he’s known he’s in love with Eddie Diaz. It’s just. Well, what do people do when they’re in love with their straight best friends? Google says get over it -- so Buck’s trying. Only when he steps into Eddie’s hospital room and Eddie beams at him like Buck is the best thing he’s ever seen, well, fuck. Google didn’t have any advice about that.

“There he is,” Eddie half-slurs, and he’s smiling like -- like -- well, Buck doesn’t have a metaphor for this, because Eddie makes his brain feel like it’s on fire, like the Inside Out people in his brain are trying to process and come up with an emotion and the only thing they have to offer is: yes. Him. That one. Want. which is not exactly helpful. 

“H-Hey, bud,” Buck manages, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth, sitting down next to Eddie’s bed. Eddie’s hospital gown is slipping off his shoulders, and he’s still got the nasal cannula on, and he’s blinking slowly, and his pupils are huge, but he’s smiling and Buck’s heart keeps malfunctioning. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better now you’re here,” Eddie says, and he’s so light like this, and Buck freezes. One of the Inside Out people in his brain is shredding everything Buck knows to make room for this moment, for Eddie’s joy, unbridled and bright, spilling out across them. “Fuck, you’re handsome,” he says, shaking his head, turning to the nurse when she, smirking, goes to check his lines. “Isn’t he handsome? I told you, didn’t I? I told -- I told you.”

Buck is pretty sure his brain is offline. There’s been a gas leak or something, and all the Inside Out people are dead, because he hadn’t considered this -- hadn’t considered any of this. What was supposed to happen was Buck was supposed to come back here, curls fluffy and air-dried, in his borrowed sweats, with coffee breath, and Eddie would be still and quiet in the bed, and Buck would sit down and shove down every single feeling he’s ever had about Eddie because Eddie is straight and he’d try to convince himself that the feelings he has for Eddie are purely platonic (knowing they aren’t) and Eddie would wake up and ask about Chris and - and -- look, Buck knows how this goes, and Eddie being higher than a kite and spilling joy like he hadn’t been pulled like a half-dead mandrake from the mud six hours ago by Buck isn’t how it goes.

Maybe he’s dreaming, he thinks. Maybe this is some fucked up dream his brain has created to help deal with the inevitable moving of Eddie to El Paso. Maybe he’s finally lost it, and now he won’t be able to look Eddie in the eye for, like, a day, because all he’ll be able to think about is in the dream you loved me enough to stay and Buck doesn’t want to be that selfish and he’s ashamed that his subconscious is.

But then the nurse laughs and says: “You did tell me,” in the tone of voice people use with little kids and patients high on pain medications. “I half-expected Brad Pitt to walk in here, the way you were carrying on,” she adds, and Buck’s cheeks flush. 

“Psh,” Eddie says, and his eyes are slow to track, but they drift back across the room, from the nurse to Buck, and Buck feels something squeeze in his chest. “Buck’s so much better than Brad Pitt,” he says, and Buck’s hand is on the side of the bed, because that’s what you do when someone’s in the hospital, you rest a hand on the side of their bed, and they look over at you, and you say I was so worried and they say something fucked up like I’m not worth worrying about and -- but Buck’s brain short-circuits then, because Eddie laces their fingers together, and Buck can’t even blink because what the fuck kind of hallucination is this?

The nurse shoots Buck a fond little look, and finishes whatever she’s doing with the medications. “Alright, Mr. Diaz,” she says and Eddie rolls his head to the side to look up at her. “That pain medication should hold you for awhile - but you just have your partner--” Buck’s heart leaps into his throat, and he can’t say anything, he can’t even blink -- “grab me if you need something else, alright?”

Eddie turns back to Buck. “Hear that?” he asks, like the nurse isn’t still standing right there. “She thinks we’re partners. Like, actual partners.” He waggles his eyebrows, and forget blinking, Buck can’t breathe. “Like I’d be so lucky.”

“We’ll -- we’ll let you know if we need anything,” Buck says, and his voice is high-pitched and unnatural sounding, but it’s literally the best he can do under the circumstances, because what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck Eddie is holding his hand and calling him handsome and hot and seems -- well, whatever this is -- about them being partners in the sense that gay people and woke straight people use. The nurse is gone with a rasp of the curtain and a flick of the lights, and then Buck and Eddie are alone -- well, in a manner of speaking -- and Eddie’s looking at Buck like - like - like that.

“You should rest,” Buck says finally, when he manages to peel the Inside Out people in his brain off the ceiling. “You need to rest, you were -- I pulled you out of the mud. Like a mandrake.”

Eddie frowns at the reference, a confused little divot between his brows, but then he grins, shrugging a shoulder. The hospital gown slips off his shoulder a little bit more. Slut, Buck’s brain supplies when Buck thinks about biting that shoulder, which is so inappropriate in at least five ways Buck can think of off the top of his head. “You’re always saving me,” he says, and his words are tripping together in a way that says he probably won’t be awake much longer.

“Yeah, well, that’s my job, right?” Buck says, picking over the words carefully, like he’s disarming a bomb. Eddie’s still holding his hand. Buck isn’t exactly doing anything to discourage the hand holding, and then he feels dirty and wrong and like a pervert. “Gotta keep you alive,” he adds quietly, and pulls his hand back very carefully.

Eddie tightens his fingers around Buck’s. “Gotta -- look like a hot badass doing it,” he says with a little grin. “Shame I’m usually unconscious. I bet it’s really sexy, all the -- mangrove pulling.”

Buck’s still focused on the fact that he’d tried to pull his hand away and Eddie had, essentially, said no, so it takes him a minute to catch up -- tripping first over hot badass and then sexy and by the time he gets to the missed reference of mandrake, he barely manages to say: “uh-huh” in response.

“Is that right? Mangrove?” Eddie asks with a frown. “That doesn’t sound right. What did you call me? A man- a man --”

“Mandrake,” Buck says -- croaks, and Eddie nods. 

“Right,” Eddie says, “Mandrake. Whatever that is. Is it cute, at least?” he asks, grinning at Buck again, and Buck’s heart is malfunctioning again.

“Uh,” Buck says, very eloquently, and then he’s saved from having to say anything else by the arrival of Hen and Chim and Bobby, all of whom seem to notice the hand-holding, and chalk it up to either something they don’t need to address right now, or something that is just so uniquely buckandeddie that it doesn’t phase them, and Buck is so thankful that the universe decided to give him half a break, because Chimney giving Eddie a shovel talk about his baby brother in law while Eddie’s high on pain medication is not something Buck is capable of coping with right now. Only then, as Bobby, Hen, and Chimney file in, Eddie’s face breaks into one of those heartbreakingly beautiful smiles and Buck thinks: shit because high-on-pain-medication Eddie is either incredibly gay, incredible horny, incredibly unfiltered, or all of the above.

“Hey guys,” Eddie says, lifting the hand that doesn’t have a grip on Buck’s. “Hey, does Buck look -- like, really sexy when he’s pulling me like a mangrove?” and Buck is pretty sure they could use his face to power a small compound because what the fuck, Eddie. 

“Pulling a what?” Chimney asks, and thank every single god there is for Bobby because he clears his throat and steps in.

“Sounds like you’re in good hands, Eddie,” Bobby says in that calm, measured way of his. “We just wanted to check on you. We’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest,” he says, and then he gives Chimney and Hen one of his dad looks -- which trumps Hen’s bossy lesbian looks -- and marches them out, but not before Eddie smirks and says: oh, I’m in great hands.

(24 hours later, when the pain medication has worn off and Eddie has come down a bit, when Buck realizes this hasn’t just been some strange stress dream as a reaction to Eddie moving to El Paso, when Chimney has text Buck approximately 74 times, Eddie says I meant it and something in Buck’s chest splits open, spills out between them, and Eddie is blushing, and Buck is blushing, but they kiss anyway, and Buck says go get Chris’ punk ass -- but stay and Eddie says only if you keep saving me and Buck says only because you saved me first and he thinks: take that, universe.)

*

you can also read this on the ao3 :)

[ivegotyourbackbuddie]

Being in the Diaz home without Chris around is… weird.

Really there are hundreds of different words that Buck could use to explain the absence, but weird is what fits best at the moment.

It’s not like he and Eddie haven’t hung out alone in the house while Christopher had been at school or a friend’s house. But knowing that Chris is states away with no confirmed return date… it’s weird.

They haven’t really spoken about it much - avoiding Eddie’s house, wordlessly going to Buck’s equally empty apartment that nonetheless contains less of Chris’s essence.

Of course, it’s still there. They avoid the gaming system, the drawer filled with Chris’s clothes, the bin full of Lego’s…

But at Eddie’s, it’s not like they can just… avoid the whole house.

Which is why Buck was surprised to get a message from Eddie reading Come over? Which Buck had replied omw while racing to get his shoes on.

He had let himself in with his key, calling out for Eddie only to get no response which set off all the alarm bells in Buck’s head. He forced himself to stay calm, trying not to think of the time he had rushed over there only to find a scared Chris outside a room Eddie had taken apart piece by piece as if trying to represent the brokenness he felt within.

“Eddie?” Buck calls out again, trying to ignore the way his voice wavers as he paces through the house opening the door to Eddie’s room and finding it all in one piece. He sighs in relief but tenses again when he still doesn’t see Eddie. But then it hits him exactly where he is.

He slowly walks down the hall, hesitating and listening in at Chris’s door but not hearing anything before opening it.

He spots Eddie quickly, sitting on a chair next to Chris’s bed. It reminds him of the times when Eddie used to read him stories before bed, voice taking pitches Buck had never heard before all to make a giggling Christopher shriek with loud laughter.

The silence in the room hangs almost as heavily as Eddie’s head in his hands.

“Eddie,” Buck says softly as he walks up to him slowly as if approaching a wild animal, knowing he needs the time to adjust to his presence in the room.

Eddie glances up at him, eyes red-rimmed and wet, but Buck can see that he isn’t one breath away from fully breaking like he has been before. “Hey, Buck,” he replies wetly.

Buck kneels in front of the chair, opening his arms to Eddie who drops his weight into them, squeezing around his shoulders as if he were Chris. “I miss him,” Eddie whispers.

“I do, too,” Buck says, allowing a few tears to slip from his own eyes as he glances at the empty bed. He lets Eddie take as long as he needs in the hug, ignoring the ache in his knees that’s not even comparable to the ache in his chest.

Eventually, Eddie loosens his embrace and moves back, wiping his eyes and chuckling as if it’s the only thing keeping him from crying more. “Let’s get some beers, yeah?” Eddie asks, standing up, and offering a hand to Buck who gladly takes it.

They silently make their way to the kitchen, Buck watching Eddie carefully, trying to anticipate if he needs to talk or be distracted when Eddie’s phone lights up and plays the honking text tone alert.

They both freeze, knowing it’s Chris’s text tone which always made him laugh especially when he would text his dad while in the same room as him. Eddie would always play along with the bit asking, “I wonder who this could be.” While Chris would simultaneously laugh and groan, “Dad.”

Eddie grabs the phone off the counter with shaky hands and reads the message multiple times as if he can’t quite believe what it says. But Buck waits patiently, although all he wants to do is rush over and read it over his shoulder or even snatch the phone out of his hands.

But before he can do anything too impulsive, Eddie glances up with a mixture of shock, relief, and panic when he says, “Chris says he misses me and wants me to come to El Paso.”

Buck smiles but sees that Eddie isn’t doing the same. “That’s a good thing, right?”

Eddie shakes his head and shrugs, internally spiraling a bit. “I don’t know. Yes, it’s good that he misses me. But he didn’t say he wants to come back or he wants me to just briefly visit then come back or how long he wants me there. For all I know, this could be a trial run to see if he ever wants to come back here.” Eddie puts down the phone and wipes his hands over his face. He sighs and drops his hands, expression changing from confused to determined yet still mildly panicked. “I have to call Bobby. But I don’t know if he’ll let me take a temporary leave without doing paperwork that all needs to be approved, but I need to go now.”

Buck makes his way around the counter and puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, thumb resting in the dip of his collarbone, mirroring the same stance Eddie uses that always calms Buck down. “I’ll call Bobby, okay? He knows the situation, and he’s more than reasonable when it comes to family. You start packing and looking for tickets for the soonest flight.”

Eddie's shoulders relax as he nods. “Right.” He steps away from Buck as he makes his way to his room, but he pauses and turns around quickly. “Buck?”

Buck hums in response.

“Thank you,” Eddie states, eyes firmly on Buck’s filled with an abundance of gratitude.

“Of course,” Buck replies with a small smile, hoping Eddie is too distracted to read the love written all over his face. And he must be since Eddie takes off soon after.

Buck lets out a calming breath as he processes everything and tries not to get ahead of himself with joy that Chris might be coming back.

A quick phone call later, Buck is once again trying to think of how he can ever repay Bobby for the endless understanding and love he has for the team. He makes his way into Eddie’s room and fills him in on the situation with Bobby currently making a new schedule - already knowing several people who have been asking for overtime and others begging for a chance to work at the 118. Buck can see Eddie going through the same emotions as he did moments before, but they remain for a few seconds longer when he approaches Buck and hugs him tightly, thanking him again.

Buck just holds him and asks, “Have you found a flight?”

Eddie nods, pulling away to hold up his phone. There’s already a confirmation email for the ticket he bought. “There’s a flight that leaves tonight in a few hours.”

“Let me drive you to the airport then,” Buck says, with no room for argument. Eddie only fixes him with a look that has Buck preparing for another hug, but Eddie shakes his head a little and looks down as if telling himself he can’t ask for more.

Buck doesn’t comment on it, but he does check through Eddie’s bag, making sure he didn’t miss anything in his rush, only for Eddie to shove his shoulder against his and say, “If I forgot anything, I’ll just buy a duplicate.”

Buck glances at Eddie's nightstand and grabs his charger, handing it over. “I know you say that, but I also know how much you hate duplicates of anything other than clothes.”

“And ‘Best Dad Ever’ mugs.”

“And those,” Buck says with a fond eye roll, remembering all the times Eddie has insisted that he doesn’t need any more mugs, only to immediately change his tune when Chris holds up a dad mug. “Come on, you don’t want to miss your extremely convenient flight.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh in response but doesn’t disagree.

The drive to the airport is quicker than Buck expected, and when they get there, Buck finds himself parking instead of merely dropping Eddie off. But Eddie doesn’t comment on it. Honestly, it’s as if he was expecting it.

They walk at a leisurely pace, now that they both know that unless something goes horribly wrong, Eddie won’t miss his flight.

“You have your ID and your phone is charged enough to display your ticket?” Buck asks.

Eddie smiles and knocks his shoulder against his. “As I’ve already said three times, yes to both.”

Buck nods, but he feels an overwhelming sense of dread fill his gut. Then, it suddenly hits him that the last time he dropped off someone at the airport was… Abby. And with the departure gates right in front of him, Buck can almost picture that moment when she walked away, and the tiniest voice had told him that it was already over and she was never coming back. It seems to be a tragic theme in his life.

“Hey,” Eddie says firmly, taking him out of the memory. “You okay?”

Buck just nods at him, pasting a small smile on his face. “I just wish I could see Chris, too.”

He knows that Eddie can see that it’s something else chewing him up inside, but they both don’t comment on it.

“Well, thank you again,” Eddie says, lingering in Buck’s space.

Buck hugs him, knowing Eddie isn’t going to take the initiative again. “You know you’d do the same thing for me.”

“Yeah, with a lot more complaining,” Eddie jokes startling a laugh out of Buck.

They both pull away after lingering for a few seconds longer than many friends would. They stare at each other, searching each other’s gaze for something that they’re not able to find - call it stubbornness or obliviousness, but love is there loud and clear to anyone else who merely glances at them.

“I’ll be back soon, and I’ll be giving you play-by-plays of everything,” Eddie reassures him.

Buck just nods, remembering Abby’s promise to call and text every day until those eventually dwindled down to nothing on her side.

“Bye, Eddie.”

“Bye, Buck,” Eddie says with a soft look, turning to leave.

Buck stays and watches, debating if he has the strength to turn and walk away even when he’s out of sight. But to his surprise, Eddie gets through the doors and glances back.

Abby never glanced back.

Then, Eddie rushes back, apologizing to a woman he nearly runs over in the process but continuing on his way back to the doors. “Come with me!” He nearly yells, attracting multiple people’s attention, but Buck doesn’t notice - too distracted trying to process what he has just said.

“Come with me,” Eddie says again, much closer this time. “I know it’s last minute. And you don’t have your bags or anything, and I don’t know if there’s even another ticket left on this flight. But please. Christopher loves you so much, and he would love to see you.”

Buck shakes his head, smiling in disbelief, “Eddie, I can’t just ask Bobby to take us both off the schedule for an indefinite amount of time.”

“He’s done it before! We’re always getting injured together. What’s a few days off going to do?”

Buck smiles and steps in closer. “Eddie, you’re going to be fine. You can do all of this without me there.”

“I know I can, Buck. But I want you there. Don’t you see?” Eddie asks and steps closer, “I want you by my side while I deal with my parents and this whole situation. Even without all of this I would want you to bet there.” And pauses to take a deep breath and fix Buck with a look that pierces deeply. “And I don’t want you to think I’m leaving you. I would never do that. I could be gone for years, and I would never stop thinking about you and messaging you. I could never just forget you. I’m always going to come back for you. No matter the time or the distance.”

Buck’s heart hammers in his chest at the confession that chips away at every insecurity he felt when Abby had left. All the things the tiny voice would say are being directly challenged by everything Eddie says. But this time… Buck realizes the voice wasn’t even there to begin with. Sure, the memory of the voice is loud and clear but… when it’s Eddie? Nothing.

All those years ago, he would’ve gone with Abby in a heartbeat. He would’ve abandoned everything to stay with her and try to make her happy. But now…

Now he knows what it’s like to be truly loved. And to trust the person he loves to come back to him.

So Buck just grabs Eddie’s hand and whispers, “I love you. And that’s why I’m telling you that you can do this on your own. Because I’m going to be here the whole time, waiting for you to come back and making sure everything is okay while you’re away. We’ve already basically built a life here together, and I’m not going to ever risk throwing that away. Plus, I think Bobby would kill us both if we suddenly decided to run away and take Christopher wherever he wants because we both know that’s what would happen if we went together.”

Eddie smiles and laughs, eyes a bit misty as he nods. “Maddie would kill me if I took you away from her.”

Buck smiles softly. “I think she would try, but ultimately she’d be happy for us.”

Eddie nods in agreement but his expression changes from fond amusement to steadfast fondness. He pauses before saying, “I love you, too, you know.”

“I know. Especially after that confession. Really dramatic of you, Diaz.”

“Like you can say anything, Evan,” Eddie laughs.

And Buck can’t help but notice the way that his name falls off his lips, always in a way that screams love but he never noticed before. He shakes his head and laughs, “How long have we been in love with each other but too dumb to realize it?”

Eddie shakes his head and says, “I don’t know. I think I loved you a bit ever since you were an asshole to me and tried to call yourself my elder.”

Buck laughs loudly before sincerely saying, “I think I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “I think you felt that way more about Chris than about me.”

“Maybe.” And yeah, that’s probably one hundred percent true. Buck gets a sudden idea that has him frowning and tilting his head. “Hey, how much longer do we have to stay idiots who haven’t kissed even after we confessed our love for each other?”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head, turning away to say, “Dios, Buck. I’m not going to let our first kiss be outside an airport. That’s a little dramatic even for us. I’d much rather it be in my kitchen when I bring Christopher back to us.”

Buck steps closer and tilts his head down. “How about we make that our second kiss?”

Eddie bites the corner of his lip and glances around before saying, “Fuck it,” pulling Buck in right then and kissing him chastely before pulling back. “And don’t ask to do that again because I don’t want Athena to arrest us for public indecency.”

“And you say I’m the dramatic one,” Buck laughs, trying not to pull Eddie in for another kiss.

“Because you are,” Eddie says, backing away. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah,” Buck replies, knowing that no matter how long Eddie is gone, soon will never be soon enough. But that’s okay. Because he knows he’ll always have his back. And that’s more than enough for him.

(Ao3 Link yay!!!)

[theclaravoyant]

property lovers (buddietommy, 911)

AN ~ for @rarepairs-of-911 Rarepair Bingo!

**contains 8x09 spoilers**

hurt/comfort/fluff inspired by the events of 8x09, but with established buddietommy, ft. big heart buck and fandom certified fixer upper hobbyist tommy!

prompt: “surprise visit” Eddie x Buck x Tommy

masterpost read on AO3 (~1000wd)

property lovers

“Hey, I am totally handy,” Eddie claims defensively – then, as if on cue, the sink opens up and spits all over him and his phone and he disappears in a jumble for a minute.

“He said handy, not handsy," Buck pipes in. He can just imagine the glare Eddie would give him if they were in the same room right now, and he chuckles to himself.

“You didn't tell me the both of you were idiots,” Tommy faux-grumbles. “Did he even get it inspected before he dropped his life savings?”

“I don't know,” Buck confesses. “Didn't ask – I was too busy...”

“Being totally cool and chill, and expressing your feelings in a calm and healthy way?”

“Exactly.”

Tommy scoffs. Eddie recovers his phone.

“There. I think I got it.” He runs the tap, and it runs properly. No funny colours, or sputtering, or squealing, or anything. He smiles.

“There you go!” Tommy cheers, but as Eddie looks around his new house his expression droops. There's rats in the roof, the flooring is vinyl – and is peeling - everywhere he looks he finds a new problem. He's long since had a particular loathing for the phrase putting out fires but.... well.

“What have you got on for the rest of the day?” Tommy asks, pulling Eddie back to the present. He and Buck are squished up into each other on the couch – his old couch - and he has an arm draped around him, drawing little patterns at Buck's hip absently. God, Eddie misses that. He hasn't been so much as shoulder-bumped in weeks. “We can stick around if you want.”

Eddie takes a deep breath, shakes his head clear of panic, clear of pining. There actually is some good news, though.

“Don't worry about it,” he offers. “I've got a job interview. Paramedic Trainee with EPFD. I actually am kind of excited - I'm hoping I can certify, you know. Make it official.”

“That's great, Eddie!” Buck wishes he could reach through the screen and kiss him. Turns out, since Eddie had resigned rather than transferring, the paperwork has been a bit of a mess, so he's been stuck in his old life, ten years ago, working himself into the ground with delivery driving and odd jobs. He's never been afraid to keep his nose to the grindstone – that perseverance is something Buck's always admired about him - but it makes Buck's heart want to sing that there's a little smile on his face at the thought of doing something meaningful again.

Tommy squeezes Buck's waist, and pulls him closer in excitement, in solidarity. It's something, at least, since they can't do the same for Eddie.

“We'll call back tonight,” he insists. “Let us know how it goes.”

“You got it.” Then, with a glance down at his shirt - ”Shit, I should go.”

“Love you,” they remind him.

“Mwah,” he says.

The screen goes dark, Eddie already in the middle of running off to get ready. For a moment, Buck and Tommy sit in the bittersweetness of it.

“Poor kid. I want to squeeze him out like a little stress-chamois,” Tommy muses.

“I want to send Helena dog poop.” Buck pouts, and gestures sarcastically. “Apparently it's 'illegal.'”

“When's he seeing Chris next?”

“Saturday. He was hoping to have him around I think, but then there was the whole mould situation...” Buck trails off, watching the gears turn in Tommy's head.

Tommy taps frantically through his phone, checking his roster, his calendar, asking in the group chat. He pulls up a couple El Paso hardware places. And Skyscanner. Buck smiles – hesitant at first, then it widens as Tommy concludes:

“I think we can pull it off. Just a few days, but it's better than a poke in the eye. What do you say?”

Buck plants a kiss on him, heart racing. He jumps out of his seat, phone already in hand.

“Pack a bag. I'll call Bobby.”

-

So it is that approximately six hours later, they pull up outside Eddie's new house in a rented truck laden with a hefty toolbox, a sander, rolls of vinyl, bags of mulch – as much as he had mentioned that they could carry, and anything else they could think of besides. The sun is just starting to go down, and honestly, the place doesn't look half bad in this light.

Tommy can almost imagine the four of them playing basketball in the driveway. Or, well, maybe him and Eddie and Chris playing, while Evan makes dinner, or makes something out of this promising skeleton of a garden. They'd have a dog. Or a cat – watching over them from the eaves. Maybe both. Maybe they could build a life here after all; a future, not just a past.

For now, they've got five days, six hands and a dream.

“Ready?” Evan checks, and holds up his tablet. He dials, and sure enough, Eddie's face pops up almost immediately.

“Thank God you guys are here,” he greets; beaming, his free hand flying. “They. LOVED me. Bobby must have talked their ears off or something because I walked out of there with the position. They're being so generous with the certification stuff as well, they mentioned I might even be able to skip a couple units and graduate faster and –“

“We should go out for dinner and celebrate!” Buck declares. Tommy asks, with a wink in his voice -

“Eddie, you buying?”

Eddie laughs, and moves to object, but his eyes start to catch up with his busy, busy brain. They're really suggesting they go out for dinner. Not alone. Not over the phone. He recognises that curb and that frontage sticking out from behind the two of them. He recognises that Tuscan Orange driveway curving up toward the unfamiliar truck. He – They –

Wait.

He lunges for the front door, and even still he can hardly believe his eyes when they're really there. In the flesh, in three dimensions, on his doorstep. Today's been a roller-coaster and a half, and the overwhelm sticks in his throat. Buck's eyes shine with fondness. Tommy smiles, and waves an arm back at the truck full of – full of Clorox and rat baits and plants and new tea-towels and -

He grabs onto the side of the utility bed, just in case his knees decide to give out on him.

“Thought you could use a hand."

Eddie throws his arms around Buck first, and Tommy wraps around him in turn, until he can hardly breathe.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

[exhuastedpigeon]

room for two

Buddie | Explicit | 3.3k Roommates, sharing a bed, smut, canon compliant through 8x14

For @thewolvesof1998 – Happy belated birthday my dear friend.

Eddie’s been different since he got back from El Paso. Not in any way Buck can put his finger on; there’s nothing specifically different, but still, different. It’s like he has a new confidence that radiates out of him like he’s the fucking sun and all Buck can do is get sucked into his orbit. Or maybe Eddie isn’t different at all and it’s Buck that’s different. Because Buck feels different. It was easy to deny Tommy’s accusation about Eddie being his competition when Eddie was in Texas and Buck wasn’t faced with the full impact of him. FaceTime is great, but it doesn’t include the smell of Eddie’s cologne or the way his jeans hug his ass just right or the way his throat works when he’s drinking a beer. Shit, yeah, Buck is different. He can’t deny it to himself any more, he’s definitely in love with Eddie and anyone he tries to date will have Eddie as competition. It’s impossible to not compare people to Eddie when he’s got Eddie right there in front of him. He’s working on it, but it’s hard when they’re living in the same house.  Buck’s honestly grateful that he worked at 48 the day after Eddie and Chris got home so he didn’t have to make up an excuse for sleeping on the couch after Eddie insisted they could share the bed. Buck’s spent the last two nights on the couch and that’s fine. It’s good, actually. Buck has no idea what he would do if he had to share a room with Eddie, let alone sharing a bed with him. “Dude, you’re not sleeping on the couch, you pay half the rent. The beds big enough for two anyway,” Eddie pushes Buck into the bedroom when he walks out of the bathroom on the third night of Buck’s 4 off. He’s almost dreading Eddie coming back to work next shift, then he’ll have no reprieve. “I promise I don’t bite — not unless you ask nicely.” Oh Buck is so fucked, but there’s really no way out of it. At least not while Eddie is awake. Buck decides he’s going to lay in bed and wait until Eddie falls asleep and then he’ll sneak out and onto the couch. “Yeah, fine,” he huffs and lets himself be bullied into the bedroom.

Read on Ao3

[buckleyanddiaz]

just a snippet of a Buckley Diaz family fic I'm considering

"I'm adding dad to the call," Chris informs about two minutes in and Buck would say something if he didn't know that he had already been muted. He could see the ceiling of Eddie's old room, the edge of a bulletin board with a bunch of posters he couldn't recognize. He thought one of them was a Hotshots one but he wasn't sure if it was the one Brad had signed for Eddie.

Before he had given Eddie the advice that led to Eddie in El Paso but not in his home, Chris in his grandparents' home, and Buck in Eddie's home.

Well, Eddie's home for the next two weeks. He still hadn't finished the deal with the realtor and he wasn't going to let Eddie stress about it.

That was a new thing they'd been doing and Buck could already see it infuriating Eddie but he wasn't too bothered. Maddie said it was the trauma. Buck didn't know if she meant the one from the kidnapping or the one from the empty Diaz home in L.A.

He just wasn't willing to let Eddie stress about things. He wasn't too keen on explaining himself. The kidnapping, the house sale, the new team dynamic - it was all Buck's stuff. Eddie didn't need to worry about it.

Eddie had given him a frustrated look the last time they had broached the topic in one of these calls. Buck had avoided calling for the next week.

And now he was here on the couch, talking to Chris, who was adding Eddie to the call. For Thanksgiving. Like they were a real long-distance family making the most of things.

He wasn't sure if he sounded bitter when he actually spoke. Thoughts weren't the same as words, so he was fine. Right?

As long as he wasn't bitter around Chris, he should be fine. That's all that mattered for now. Eddie would understand, he was sure.

Maybe they could bond over that, he thought and immediately shut that down. A tiny new notification showed. Eddie was in the call now.

Buck had the passing thought that he should have worn a turtleneck. Hide his throat, his pulse, the parts he never knew to hide from Eddie before.

He tugged on his collar just once instead.

[bekolxeram]

“10! 9! 8!”

The helicopter hovers in the clear, starry sky.

“7! 6! 5!”

The crowd on the ground joyously counts down, welcoming the arrival of a new year, a new beginning.

“4!”

Tommy turns to face the passenger sitting beside him, “are you ready, Evan?”

“3!”

Buck mirrors the pilots movement, “never been more ready.”

“2!”

They smile at each other, with a bright, hopeful glint in their eyes.

“1! Happy New Year!”

Their lips crash together as the crowd roars in celebration, their connection only broken by the deafening bang of a firework. Buck jolts around, but his expression soon softens up in awe.

The calm, dark night sky has been illuminated by bursts of shimmering gold, right in front of his eyes.

Here.

There.

Here again.

Pops of color are gradually thrown into the mix, turning the simple, elegant light show into a chromatic symphony.

Red.

Blue.

Purple.

“Wow… I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life,” Buck sighs, still awestruck by the aerial, front-row view to the fireworks.

“I love you, Evan. I can’t wait to start our future together,” Tommy cups Buck’s cheeks with both hands, pulling him in for another gentle kiss.

Something feels wrong to Buck.

“Um… Tommy, who’s flying the chopper?” he stares at the bare cyclic, free from the control of the pilot.

“No one,” Tommy says, a hint of sorrow appearing on his face.

Buck’s blood runs cold.

“What does that mean?”

“It means it’s not real, Evan,” the pilot smooths a thumb over Buck’s cheekbone, “you can’t fly too close to the fireworks in real life, or else you’ll crash and burn.”

“Am I… dreaming?”

“Yeah… it’s a nice one, isn’t it? Too bad you’ll have to wake up soon.”

“Wait, no! I’m staying here, I’m staying here with you,” Buck cries out. “Aw — My head,” a strong dull ache starts pounding his head.

“You can’t.”

“Just… 5 more minutes,” Buck pleads with all his might, fighting against the burn in his throat.

“I’ll see you on the other side.”

================================================

Buck wakes up in a dimly lit room. There’s a hint of familiarity to this place, but he can’t pinpoint it exactly. He can’t even focus for more than 2 seconds due to the throbbing pain in his head.

Feeling his jeans still on, he pats around to find his phone in a pocket. The bright light from the screen stings his dry eyes, after a few seconds to adjust, he sees a column of unread texts from Eddie.

Eddie: What do you mean “where are you”? In El Paso? With Christopher? Eddie: I’m coming back on the 4th. I’ve told you that already, why are you still asking? Eddie: Are you drunk? Eddie: Wait, don’t tell me you’re in my house. Eddie: Why do you have to pick NYE of all days to drunkenly invade my home? Eddie: I’m doing you a favor, you owe me a big one.

Snippets of memories start flooding back all at once. He remembers leaving Maddie’s house shortly after midnight because it was Jee’s bed time, but he didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment, he decided to head to a bar for drinks instead. The more he drank, the lonelier he felt, so he took an Uber to his best friend’s house out of habit.

His memories begin blurring from that point on, but he vaguely recalls breaking down yelling and crying at someone…

“Easy, there’s a bucket next to the bed. You don’t need to get up if you’re feeling sick.”

“Tommy…”

“I brought you an isotonic drink and some painkillers, just in case, but your head should feel better once you get your hydration level back up,” Tommy hands him the bottle and kneels down on the floor, next to the bed.

“How…?” Buck asks after taking a big gulp of the liquid.

“Eddie texted me last night, telling me Christopher wanted to wish me a happy new year over the phone.”

“So… he tricked you?”

“No, he absolutely blasted me for leaving you heartbroken and alone. He said every person in Los Angeles, men and women, would line up just for a chance to kiss you on New Year’s, but you were on your own moping around because of me instead.”

“Eddie?”

“Chris. He told me if I ever believed you weren’t serious about… us, then I would be, and I quote, ‘a fucking idiot’.”

“Oh, he’s all grown up now,” Buck lets out a soft chuckle.

“Um… I was thinking, maybe we could talk? If you want to of course, I understand I have no right to ask you for anything after what I did to you.”

“Later, maybe?”

Tommy nods.

“Can you just stay with me for a while?” Buck lifts up bedspread as an invitation.

Tommy agrees silently by climbing into the bed, lying down on the empty side and wrapping his arms tightly around Buck from behind.

Buck melts into his touch, and slowly drifts off the sleep once again.

[beecauseevan]

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December 2023

"We should do Secret Santa," Buck says at breakfast the next day. They're at their favorite café, winding down after last night's shift, and Eddie tears his eyes away from the large steaming cup Buck is cradling and looks at Buck's face instead. The morning sun is caressing his cheeks, turning his birthmark a rosy shade of red. 

"Secret Santa?" Eddie echoes.

"That's what I said."

"Are you sure?" Eddie asks. "Also, it's 66 degrees out here. Why are you drinking hot chocolate?"

"Don't be a Grinch, Eddie," Buck reprimands him, his smile disarmingly proud. That's the movie they ended up watching after they came back from that snow-slime infestation, which means Buck's list of must-see Christmas movies that he has watched grew by 100% last night.

"Secret Santa gets complicated if there's too many people," Eddie points out. "We would need a guest list. People would have to RSVP."

"Okay," Buck says. "Then let's do a guest list."

"It was supposed to be a casual Christmas party."

"Who said that?"

"Bobby," Eddie replies, "when he suggested it."

Buck shrugs. "Bobby roasts his own cereal. He doesn't know casual."

"Well." Eddie doesn't have a rebuttal for that. 

Buck smiles, satisfied, and stirs his hot chocolate. "Hey. Did you know that you need 400 cocoa beans to produce one pound of chocolate?“

"Where did you learn that? Never mind," Eddie says, before Buck can answer. "You're from Hershey."

"Actually, I learned that when I was in Peru."

"Was that when you had the frosted tips?"

"Shut up," Buck snaps, not unkindly. His cheeks are red, and Eddie is suddenly very pleased with himself. "I still can't believe Maddie showed you that picture. I should uninvite her. She's uninvited from our second official 118 Christmas party."

"Chim might have something to say about that," Eddie replies.

"I'll just ignore him. I'm good at that."

December 2024

"Here." Chim hands Eddie a cup of hot chocolate. It's bad, too sweet, the taste artificial in a way that suggests it's never seen actual chocolate, but Eddie didn't expect any culinary delights from a hospital vending machine anyway.

"Thanks."

They're sitting outside Buck's room. Maddie is in there right now, with Jee. Eddie stares into his cup for a bit, then at that door, and then back down at the cup. He swirls it around, watches the grainy brown residue slide slowly down the plastic. 

"Did you know." He clears his throat, starts again. "Did you know it takes 400 cocoa beans to get one pound of actual chocolate? That's kind of crazy, right?"

Chim sits down and leans back, trying to get comfortable. It's impossible, Eddie knows that from experience. Hospital chairs are never comfortable. Still, Chim tries. He stretches out his legs next to Eddie's, and then he puts a hand on Eddie's arm.

"He'll be okay. He always is."

"Yeah," Eddie says. They don't know that yet, but Chim is right. Buck has to be okay. "He will be."

He bans all other possibilities from his mind, kicks them out and shuts the door behind them. It's not that hard, because they don't leave behind a vacuum. He has plenty of shit he can occupy himself with, and there's one what if scenario that screams particularly loudly, that won't stay in the little corner of his mind where he keeps trying to banish it to. 

What if he hadn't been there? He hasn't found a place in El Paso yet. He's been looking—Buck's been helping—but buying a house is a pretty big commitment and he doesn't want to make the wrong choice. It has to be perfect. It has to be a place Chris will want to call home. He hasn't found that yet. 

What if he had? 

What if Buck had been alone out there? 

What if, instead of fighting tooth and nail to save his life, Eddie had been on the receiving end of a terrible phone call instead? He could be standing at a grave instead of sitting by Buck’s hospital bed. 

How is he supposed to live with that possibility?

Written for the @911countdowntochristmas - this was supposed to be 24 drabbles but the Buddie NDE speculation going around pre 8x08 inspired me and now it’s a 24-mini-chaptered fic instead. And definitely more hurt/comfort than fluff. Oops.

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[sickofthistoxicshit]

I know ya'll are like this is proof of buddie canon,

And as someone who's been here from the beginning, I will believe it when I see it, not before.

There are four ways Eddie little pointless adventure can go,

1. He moves to El Paso, Christopher does not want to see him, his parents put as many obstacles as possible, Buck joins him in a true copying of Station 19 where at the end of the season Vic leaves and Travis meets her at the airport telling her his home is wherever she is and they leave together.

Prompting the spin off of Buck and Eddie together in El Paso. With an angsty backstory in the background and stuff.

2. Eddie and Buck go canon while they're looking for a house for Eddie, Buck asks Eddie not to move, kisses him they have some angsty back and forward in which Eddie goes to see the house up close, misses Buck and decides he doesn't want this, he convinces Christopher to go home with him and comes back to a delighted Buck.

3. Both of them go to see the house, Eddie loves it but it doesn't feel the right kind of happy, they both confess their feelings in El Paso and come back to LA hopefully after Eddie grows a backbone with his emotional support Buck, and tells his parents to go fuck themselves and his son that he can be mad at him all he wants at home in LA, but they can't work this out while they're in two different states so far apart from each other.

Christopher will probably come around either when he hears that, Thank God, no more poor substitutes for mothers will come through their door because he finally gets his Buck and Eddie together.

Or he's still sullen and teenager-y until Eddie’s next nde and then he'll come around, after crying to Buck that he doesn't want his dad to die thinking he hates him.

It will probably be the second option.

4. Eddie moves, Buck misses him like a missing limb, he goes to visit after one FaceTime too many and they end up together, either doing this long distance, or Buck moves to el paso, or they are both along with Christopher comes back to LA.

Some people are mad that I'm holding Christopher accountable for his behavior, and I will probably at some point make a long post about it, but the thing is, that unlike Buck's small family, Christopher had so many people and family to choose from to separate himself from his dad, but he chose the one pair of people that he knows will keep Eddie away at all cost, will let him get away with whatever just so that he stays with them.

And will give Eddie a pause before he will finally decide to get over his guilt over his one mistake of a stalker showing up against his will in his house, and stirring up painful shit for him and his son, and will come get him much later than he would have otherwise.

Because Eddie is sure he doesn't deserve to be redeemed, he actually thought up until his conversation with Father Brian that he didn't even deserve to drink juice, ok?

That's how bad the guilt is. Does Eddie have a lot of self work to do after TM erased all his progress cause he's a vindictive little bitch? Yes.

Is Christopher, which went through so much with his father and even at one point asked Eddie if he is the one making him sad, is the most ooc he's ever been written so far? Yes.

Can he be held accountable for his actions? At the moment of the ghost Shannon reveal, not entirely.

But six months later? Absolutely.

At this point, he's enjoying himself too much to go back to Eddie and his school and his duties, and he doesn't even discuss with Eddie his plans for the future.

Just hints that say, 'No, I barely want to talk to you and send me the autograph to my room on Texas as a reward for giving you half a breadcrumb every time you call'.

I am mad at Christopher for choosing the one pair of people he knew would do as much damage as possible and would take him away and keep him in a heartbeat.

Because, make no mistakes children are not stupid, they learn patterns of behavior, they see and hear everything, Christopher knows how hard it is for Eddie to deal with his parents and he is taking full advantage of it.

I am mad at Eddie for not putting his foot down and that he didn't send his parents packing the moment they showed up at his doorstep.

And I am mad at the Diaz parents for being the narcissistic assholes who want a second chance at raising their son's kid by taking him away from his father and rubbing it in on top of it.

This whole storyline is just one big cluster fuck, and I get that buddie canon is a potentially exciting future, but with Eddie’s storyline in shambles, which as an Eddie girl is the only thing I care about right now, I find it hard to be excited.

Also we've been here before, this is the same game plan as S5 5x10 and S5b which fox and the showrunner chickened out of last time.

So, yes, buddie may happen, but I ain't getting excited before they actually do. This show has given me trust issues, plain and simple.

[lemotmo]

Hi! With some more sleep under my belt, I've decided to try and be more positive about this upcoming storyline.

I really do like the foreshadowing that they did - because as senseless as the gender reveal party seems, it puts stakes to Chimney's NDE. If someone started watching because they saw the Contagion advertisements, they would know why Chimney and even Hen nearly dying is not ideal - they both have families and Chimney may not even get the opportunity to meet his son. Ravi's guilt storyline, despite being a repetition of the last few storylines he was given was pretty well executed, like it gives him a motivation for risking everything - Bobby nearly died for his mistakes, so he can risk a terrorism charge for Chimney. Even Bobby and Athena with their house was good foreshadowing - they're setting up a good life and now Bobby is trapped in a room with a deadly virus.

And I love Buck and Roz continually choosing to refuse to ignore the military orders to try and save Chimney's life and Roz ignoring her boss trying to hide Moira's mistake to be honest about what's going on.

And I completely agree, it doesn't feel like this episode doesn't have real stakes - we know Chimney will survive and furthermore, this plot has been done with Chimney before. He's 2 for 2 on getting infected with a deadly virus within 2 seasons. Also, it confirms that there is a time jump between 8x15 and 8x16 given that Hen and Chimney are both steady on their feet - so I think Bobby will survive this virus if he even gets it.

And Eddie. I said it before, but I'm pretty sure the only impact Eddie will have on this emergency is that it will be the push to move him and Chris back to LA. Which is annoying, but if they choose to give us an Eddie centric emergency in 8x16-8x18, I may forgive them. Because they're showing us the impact the team has on Eddie with these episodes, and now they need to show the impact Eddie has on the team - the entire team, not just Buck.

But I also think why this absence hits so much is that it's the fact that Eddie no longer needs to be in Texas - things with Chris wrapped last episode. There is no narrative reason for Eddie to be staying in Texas. He stood up to his parents and "dadded up." His relationship with Chris is good and stable. There's no narrative reason for him to be in Texas at this point at all, which I think his absence stings bad in this episode in particular, given with the fact that we know that Eddie won't have a major role in this emergency at all because of how 8x14 played out.

I never really thought of those scenes as foreshadowing, but you're right. That does make sense.

I loved Roz! She was amazing from beginning to end in the episode. Her working with Buck and just ignoring the actual Army? That was a really nice touch.

Yeah, we'll see Eddie in episode 15 and him and Chris will probably make the decision there and then to return to LA. Because I really do think he would never leave Chris in El Paso with his parents.

I really like the idea of an Eddie centric emergency later on in season 8. It will highlight the personal storylines more, which is something they said they would do. And also, right now Eddie is the only one who hasn't been hurt recently. They might just decide it's his time now. Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

We'll have to wait and see if that is the way they're going.

I am quite excited about the next episode though. I wonder what they are going to put the 118 through this time around. And since I'm pretty sure Eddie will appear in this one, I wonder in what capacity it'll be? 👀