alwaysyoonjh

[alwaysyoonjh]

There’s no way they’re just letting an MCD be leaked like this right? This has to be a fake death or another coma dream, right??

[alwaysyoonjh]

okay now i’m scared.

that bts of Buck crying, Ostark saying Buck’s arc in 8b is ‘devastating’, that Buck will have to make decisions both professionally and personally

and now this?? i do not like this at all.

[alwaysyoonjh]

A lot of you guys had been pointing out the parallels of Eddie’s current situation to what he went through pre-season 2 and I realized it doesn’t just end there. He will be coming back to LA for Buck the same way he chose to move to LA because of Shannon.

It’s like the perfect trajectory for a Buck NDE + feelings realization.

[alwaysyoonjh]

Another thing i would’ve wanted to see, is a conversation between Buck and Chris where Buck talks about his childhood, about Daniel, and how their parent’s grief over losing Daniel affected him. Because Eddie and the Buckley parents are direct opposite in this regard.

The Buckleys had let it consume them, they got stuck on their own grief that they forgot they have other children that need their love and care. They focused so much on their own pain, they neglected Buck to the point that he started hurting himself because that’s the only way he could get their attention.

Eddie on the other hand, never allowed himself to properly grieve Shannon. He shoved those emotions so far down because Chris needs him to be strong. He focused so much on Chris, his child, that he neglected himself. And all that pent up emotions, the repressed grief, caught up to him in the form of Kim.

And i’d like to believe Buck understands this. Buck who, despite being the only person Eddie allowed himself to be vulnerable with, to see his flaws, the first person who found out about Kim, still believes Eddie is a good father to Chris, the best even. Because he knows exactly what it’s like to be on the other side of it. And he’s the only one who can make Chris see it too. Not to guilt Chris into forgiving his father, but to help him understand what grief does to people. What it did to his parents and to him. What it did to Eddie.

[alwaysyoonjh]

So i just saw the stills and who the hell is this?! Are they introducing a new character??

[alwaysyoonjh]

Now I need someone to tell Eddie that Buck slept with his ex, in his old house and watch him spiral over the information. A crash out similar to when Buck overheard him saying the no ties to LA thing, and then being confused as to why he’s crashing out in the first place.

ideally after he work things out with Chris and his parents tho. Don’t want the show sidelining that again.

[alwaysyoonjh]

Hold on, Tommy seeing Eddie as competition doesn’t just confirm he thinks Eddie is not straight, but also that Eddie has feelings for Buck too.

[alwaysyoonjh]

I can’t move past Buck saying “I don’t have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for” that’s essentially a confession. what?

[alwaysyoonjh]

if this thing with Tommy is gonna continue, I have a feeling that whatever is gonna happen on Ep.14-15 is gonna force Buck to make a choice and he’ll realize there’s no competition at all.

[alwaysyoonjh]

this sucks. i don’t think i can last even 2 episodes of them apart. Bring my family back together Tim! You have 30 minutes!

[alwaysyoonjh]

i know for sure this is never gonna happen, but I have this headcanon that while unpacking, Buck will find that Eddie left him something in one of the drawers in his room. A necklace with a St. Christopher medallion, along with a note that says “to keep you safe”.

It’s not exactly the one Eddie has, but it is identical. A reminder, that even away, he will still have Buck’s back.

[alwaysyoonjh]

i just wish someone would tell Buck that what he’s feeling is okay. That he can understand and support Eddie’s decision and still feel devastated. This “i’m sorry i feel that way, let me shove aside my emotions and do something self-sacrificing to make it right with you” is gonna come bite him hard in the future. unless, this is exactly what the showrunners are going for. (tho it also gave us Buck living in Eddie’s house and possible Buddie housemates in the future so i’m not really complaining lol)

[alwaysyoonjh]

I usually just lurk here and enjoy everybody’s theories on what will happen on 8B but after seeing this particular still, i can’t get this idea out of my head. so ig here it is and apologies in advance for what is essentially word vomit.

I’m thinking, Buck offered to help Eddie pack after shift, which is the reason why he isn’t saying goodbye to him at the station yet. He comes over and managed to act normal the entire time they were packing. However, once everything is packed, and the house is stripped of any trace of Eddie or Christopher, it hits Buck full force and he can’t keep quiet anymore. He starts telling Eddie that maybe he should just rent first, see if he can talk Chris into coming home, and all that. Eddie gets frustrated because why is Buck bringing this up now? They’ve been looking at houses together, Buck has been very supportive. Why is he suddenly doing this now? Right when he’s supposed to leave the next day. It turns into a mini argument and Buck says it’s just a suggestion, that maybe Eddie doesn’t have to uproot the life that he’s built in LA to get Chris back and Eddie replied with something along the lines of “there’s nothing left here in LA for me” and Buck retracts, surprised by how those words hurt him, and he apologized for making Eddie feel like he’s questioning his decision. He told him he has to go so Eddie can rest for the long drive, leaving no room for Eddie to stop him.

Buck comes back the next day to send Eddie off. He ignores the pain that he’s been feeling since Eddie said those words and stopped every attempt Eddie did to bring the conversation up again. Eddie realizing Buck doesn’t intend on talking about it, drops it because Chris should be the priority now. But he continues to be bothered by it the entire ride to El Paso. Can’t keep the flash of hurt on Buck’s face away from his head.

Meantime, Buck feels like he’s walking around with a knife stabbed into his heart ever since that conversation and he doesn’t understand why it hurt him so much. He tries to act okay but everyone around him can tell he’s spiralling. One of them finally decides to sit him down and talk about it and he tells them about the conversation. About Eddie saying there’s nothing left for him in LA while Buck is standing right in front of him. that he wasn’t even a consideration, not a good enough reason to want to stay. this is when he understood why it hurts so much. this is how he realizes what he really feels for Eddie.

Eddie on the other hand, manages to fix things up with Christopher. He isn’t living with him yet, but they’ve been talking and they are at a point that Eddie knows they’re gonna be okay. But he’s confused because why does he still feel miserable? He chose joy, he chose Christopher. He’s supposed to feel happy, to feel whole again. But why does it feel like he’s still missing something? His mind flashes back to the night before he left LA, the argument with Buck. The flash of hurt he saw from Buck’s face, after saying there’s nothing left for him in LA. But that’s not true is it? He left something back in LA. He remembered something Bobby said, about how having a child is like having half of your heart outside of your body. He went to El Paso to get his son back, to get the other half of his heart back. But what he didn’t realize is that in his desperation to get that other half back, he left the other half in the process. Because that’s what Buck is, the 2nd most important person in his life. This is how he realizes how he feels.

Eddie would struggle with it for days, how it means for him and his sexuality. Shannon, his other previous relationships, and how he always feels like he has to perform. The catholic guilt of it all. Chris sees it, because of course he did. His dad is doing it again where he tries to suck up whatever he’s going through in favor of him. But what his dad fails to see is that Chris wants him to be happy too, that his happiness hinges on Eddie’s happiness, the same way Eddie’s hinges on Christopher’s. He finally brings it up to Eddie over dinner. And Eddie finally tells him everything, including what he feels towards Buck. Chris is glad Eddie is finally opening up, telling him it would make him happier if Eddie chooses himself too. Eddie realizes this is it what it meant to choose joy. It’s not choosing to follow Chris, nor to choose Buck. It’s choosing to acknowledge and embrace who he really is. Eddie thinks it’s still going to be hard, but if his son, the most important person in his life, has essentially given him his blessing, then no one else’s opinion matters.

Chris tells him he misses LA, he misses Buck and he wants to come home. Eddie does too. So they did.

[alwaysyoonjh]

merman Jeonghan is the concept we didn’t expect but badly need.

[alwaysyoonjh]

love is an escape

[alwaysyoonjh]

jeonghan: *exists* svt: *gay panic*

[alwaysyoonjh]

Happy Carat Day!!!