#btw. after 2 hours i am no closer to making it work than i was when i started | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slaylinski · 4 years ago

Text

5 Times Something Almost Happened And 1 Time It Did

Pairing: Sam x Bucky (AU) 5+1

Word count: 8704

Warnings: angst, major character death (mentioned), grief, miscommunication, Sambucky can be absolutely idiots sometimes, mutual pining, fluff, happy ending

Prompt: Sam and Bucky are obviously in love with each other, but each secretly thinks the other is the boyfriend of their recently deceased friend (Steve) and that they should respect the bro code.

A/N: So, I recently saw that prompt on IG and since there is no fanfiction out there that covers that I decided to write one myself. Prepare yourself for some misunderstandings, angst, grieving and sambucky fluff!

btw, shoutout to @januarystears and @gwen-novella for being my beta reader and emotional Marvel supporters🥰💕

Please be aware that English is not my first language.

Bucky was looking at the tombstone in front of him, still not able to process what happened the last few days. Steve Rogers was his childhood best friend. He remembered them being 5-year old’s trying to steal some of the cookies his mother had baked; he remembered Steve calling him at 3am on a Sunday, crying and telling him about his mother‘s car accident, the one that had made him an orphan. He remembered his parents not even hesitating for a second before they took Steve in.

And now Steve was gone. And everything Bucky had left were a few memories that were already starting to fade.

Since his parents were dead not many people came to Steve’s funeral. A few friends he had met in Chicago, Bucky’s family and of course Sam Wilson.

After he and Steve had finished college, Steve had gotten an amazing job offer in Chicago and since Bucky had decided to stay in New York, they had had to adapt to not being able to see each other every day. They had still managed to see each other monthly, most of the times Steve coming to New York, since Bucky’s family, meaning Steve’s family, was still in New York as well. And every time they had visited each other Steve had talked about Sam. Every damn time. Bucky had felt like he already knew the other man. Obviously, he had been happy that Steve had found a boyfriend in Chicago.

Since Bucky was bi and Steve had been gay, they had had a few first times together. From having their first kiss with each other to some things he was not going to mention here. They had tried to make their relationship work, but ultimately decided they were better off as friends. Since then they had not really talked much about their relationships. The only thing that had mattered to Bucky had been that Steve was happy and the way he had talked about Sam had made Bucky realize that he had been happy.

“You okay, man? “ Bucky looked to his left and stared into a pair of brown eyes.

“Yeah, I am okay," he said quietly, which was far from the truth. He still could not believe that Steve was dead.

“I am Sam, Sam Wilson," Sam introduced himself to Bucky, which made the latter chuckle. “Yeah, I already know that. Steve talked about you, a lot," Bucky tried to smile but his eyes were still focused on the tombstone in front of him.

“You know, it is a shame that he never introduced us," Sam said.

“It really is, but I feel like I already know you from all the stories Steve told me about you. I am glad he had someone in Chicago who took care of him. I am sorry for your loss," Bucky felt terrible. He felt like he could not breathe, like drowning but not being able to swim to the surface.

“I am really sorry too, Bucky," Sam whispered. Bucky barely remembered the next few hours. They went to the Barnes house for a funeral service. He saw his sister Becca who tried not to cry but miserably failed, he met his parents’ eyes. His mom was silently crying, and his dad wore sunglasses, trying to hide his swollen eyes as well. To his parents it was like they had lost one of their children. To Becca and him it was like they had lost their brother. And Bucky could not even imagine how hard it was for Sam to lose his boyfriend, his significant other, the person he wanted to grow old with. However, Sam looked more pulled together, like he tried his best not to cry in front of Bucky. Which Bucky understood, it was not like they knew each other very well.

“Do you want something to eat?" Sam asked and tried to feed Bucky some of the cake that was sitting on the kitchen counter. It was one of the many cakes people had brought over to the Barnes house after they had found out about Steve’s death. Everybody had loved Steve Rogers and it was a real shock to them that he had died at such a young age. Bucky, however, did not feel like eating. He felt like sleeping. Like the kind of sleep that makes you forget reality, the one that comforts you. He had not slept for the last couple of days, he was afraid of dreaming, afraid of dreaming and waking up. Afraid that his mind was going to dream about Steve and then him waking up and realizing that it was only a dream and that he was really gone.

“No, thanks. Do you want something?" Bucky asked but Sam shook his head. It was the first time that Bucky took a closer look at Sam Wilson. He was a little bit shorter than Bucky. His brown eyes were warm, and they looked worried, and Bucky felt like Sam was as close to breaking down as he himself was but tried to hold it together. The longer he looked at Sam, the more he understood Steve when he had talked about how warm Sam's eyes were or how good his smile looked. Sam was exactly the type of guy Bucky would go for. Sam tried to comfort him, and Bucky did not understand why. It was not like he had lost his boyfriend. He had lost his best friend, which was pretty hard as well, but not as hard as what Sam was going through now.

“Sorry, I need to get out of here,” Bucky told Sam and rushed out of the house.

The Barnes house was pretty small, barely enough room for two children, but they had squeezed together when Steve had moved in. The backyard had a small garden. A bench facing the giant cherry tree Bucky and Steve used to climb up.

Bucky felt his lip tremble and sniffed. He was all alone now. Steve was gone and there was nothing he could change about that. He felt a tear slipping down his face and tried to wipe it away with his shirtsleeve, but his stupid shirt was too tight, and he could not reach his eyes, and everything was just stupid.

A few moment later his vision was blurred with tears and he tried hard not to sob. It was horrible. He had not even realized that Sam had followed him outside until he felt a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Hey, it’s going to be alright, Bucky,” he said and tried to calm him down. The second he noticed Sam; Bucky felt like shit. Sam had just lost his boyfriend and Bucky was out here crying and not even thinking about Sam for a second.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky looked at Sam. “I just… I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now and I-,” he tried to continue but Sam interrupted him.

“If you try to apologize for having feelings, Barnes, I am going to throw you into your neighbors’ pool,” Sam pointed to his right to the swimming pool next to them. “I’m not joking. I don’t know what Steve told you about me, but I’m a man of my word,” Sam laughed. Bizarrely, Bucky laughed as well, like a real laugh, not the ones you fake to seem polite.

“You know, he would’ve hated that,” Bucky declared.

“What? “

“Us here, moping around. He would have wanted his funeral to be party. Has he ever told you about the first years of his life?”

Sam shook his head.

“When we were younger, Steve used to be sick, like all the time. He had the worst allergies and asthma and everything you could possibly imagine. Some winters were hard, there were times when he was in the hospital for week.

Then one time he had this stupid idea to plan his funeral because somehow in his 10-year-old brain he was thinking that he was going to die. And me, being the other 10-year-old, agreed to that so we were in that chapel and he was reading a text that he’d written and playing some weird ass song he’d found on his Mp3 player and then we were all mushy and crying. A couple of weeks later he was home again. A few years after that, he got his height boost and most of his allergies were gone and he became the Steve you know,” Bucky hadn’t even realized that he was crying again but it was a weird combo of crying and laughing.

“God, I miss him so much already,” he sniffed.

“So, Steve Rogers would’ve wanted a party for his funeral? “Sam grinned, and Bucky couldn’t help but start to notice Sam’s laugh. The way his eyes crinkled and the way his whole body moved when he laughed.

“We’re going to get through this, Buck. I promise,” Sam put his arm around Bucky and patted his shoulder.

“You know, you can always call me if you want to talk,” this was the first time that Bucky saw that Sam had tears in his eyes as well. Sam quickly looked in a different direction but left his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky was not mad that Sam called him ‘Buck ‘, he felt horrible. He was a horrible person. His best friend had just died and all he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss his best friend’s boyfriend.

Sam Wilson was fairly sure that Bucky Barnes was one of the strongest people he had ever met. He could not even imagine what it must feel like to lose his boyfriend. Well, until the funeral, Sam hadn’t been quite sure if Bucky really had been Steve’s boyfriend because even though he had known Steve for more than 4 years, he still did not remember one woman or one man that Steve had ever mentioned with as much enthusiasm as he had radiated when talking about Bucky. So, it was kind of weird to Sam that they had only visited each other occasionally and still hadn’t been living together after so many years, but he hadn’t wanted to ask why. It was not his business anyways.

Even though he did not know much about Steve Rogers’ love life, he considered him one of his best friends if not his best friend. Therefore, it was hard on him to have lost Steve so suddenly. He had never heard of somebody dying of an asthma attack. Especially someone who hadn’t had one in more than ten years. He remembered Bucky’s call and nearly dropping his phone. Bucky’s parents had been Steve’s emergency contacts, so it was unsurprising that they, and thus Bucky, had gotten notified first.

He had been in the middle of cooking dinner for him and Steve, since they were sharing a flat. It was not like they were poor or not earning enough money, it was more about not being alone and being able to save up a bit for the future. None of them minded living with a roommate, though.

After the call he had travelled to New York to attend Steve’s funeral. It was not how he’ imagined his first trip to New York and it certainly wasn’t the way he had wanted to meet the famous Bucky Barnes. After the death of Steve’s parents when he’d been a teenager, Bucky’s family had been all he’d had left.

Sam had felt a little anxious, and even though two of his and Steve’s friends, Wanda and Pietro, had come with him, he still felt like an intruder. He still could not believe that Steve was really gone.

He recognized Bucky immediately. He had seen a lot of picture over the years and even met him one time via face time but that could not have prepared him for what he saw the first time he looked into Bucky’s eyes.

Even though he was on the verge of crying, he looked like one of the most beautiful men Sam had ever seen, and the second he thought of that Sam wanted to slap himself. He felt like the worst person on earth. His best friend had just died and all he could think about was how good-looking his boyfriend was. He was going to end up in hell.

For the next couple of days Sam felt numb. Bucky kindly invited him to stay over at his flat in New York, so Sam didn’t have to bother booking a hotel room or anything like that.

Since his boss had known Steve as well but could not attend his funeral due to business, he kindly gave Sam two paid weeks off. Sam was not sure how he was going to handle going back to the flat he shared with Steve. He already felt lonely and was not sure if he could handle throwing out Steve’s stuff.

But right now, he was thinking about a lot of different things, for example about Bucky, who was sitting right in front of him, eating a bagel for breakfast.

Bucky’s flat was not what Sam expected. After living together with Steve Rogers for nearly three years, he thought that he knew the way Steve liked to live. Pretty messy was an understatement. His room looked like it belonged to a messy 3-year-old. Bucky’s flat however was completely clean. So clean that Sam would not have been bothered eating off the floor. The thought of Bucky constantly reminding Steve to put away his stuff made him laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Bucky looked at him curiously and swallowed the last bit of his bagel.

“Oh, nothing,” Sam tried hide his grin.

“Hey, that’s not fair. Tell me,” Bucky protested but he was smiling as well. The pretty smile, the one that made Sam’s heart flutter. He quickly put that thought aside.

“Well, you knew Steve better than me and when I see how clean your flat is all I can think about is how messy ours used to look.”

That made Bucky laugh as well. “You know, I asked myself the same question. Do you remember when you were on that business trip? That time I visited Steve, and it was the first time I saw your flat and I was shocked how clean it actually looked. Not that Steve was a messy, but I’m amazed how you managed to get along with him not putting his stuff everywhere.”

“Well at least he tried with you, whenever he was coming home, he just threw his jacket on our couch and went into the bathroom,” Sam laughed. `

“Yeah, he tried his best whenever he visited me,” Bucky answered.

‘Perks of being the boyfriend, Sam thought but didn’t say it out loud. He did not want to upset Bucky and tried to talk as little about Steve as possible, only referring to him when Bucky told him a story about them.

“You know what, Sam?” Bucky asked after they put away the dishes from their late breakfast. “I’m done sitting here and moping around. I need to get out of here, get some fresh air.”

“Do you have something in mind?” Sam looked at him. It was weird, even though he never met Bucky in person he felt like he already knew him. Steve used to talk about him all the time, mentioning him even when he was talking about the most unnecessary things. At first Sam thought it was cute, but after a while it kind of annoyed him. However, Bucky really was as great as Steve had described him. In the last days he got to know him and found out that he was one of the most generous and humble persons he had ever met.

“I actually do. I have been craving ice cream ever since I saw that Ben and Jerry’s commercial last night and thought that we could go to the Central Park,” Bucky suggested.

“Sound great. Let me get my jacket and I am good to go”.

They each grabbed their phones, wallets and jackets. Bucky stuffed his keys into the pocket of his leather jacket. Sam could swear that Bucky had at least five different versions of the same leather jacket in different colors.

Bucky’s flat was close to the Central Park since he lived in Manhattan. Sam was not quite sure what kind of job Bucky had but it must have been paying really well if he could afford living that close to the city. They didn’t talk much while walking to the park, but Bucky took the time to show Sam some of Steve’s favorite spots, for example his favorite coffee shop. Whenever they walked past a shop or cafe Steve used to like, Sam knew immediately because Bucky tensed up.

Obviously, Sam had never been to the Central Park in New York and he had only ever seen it on pictures so far, so he was surprised how big it actually was. There were a lot of children, parents and young people walking around. A couple of them were inline skating or even skateboarding. It was a sunny afternoon, which made for a crowded park.

“What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” Bucky asked him after they sat down on a free bench they found.

“Pretty much any ice cream flavor,” Sam laughed.

“You know, that was Steve’s answer to that question as well. He ate pretty much every flavor of ice cream I bought so I always had to hide it or buy an extra pack,” Bucky smiled but his eyes looked sad.

Sam wasn’t sure what he could do to make him feel better. And the worst was that he was still thinking about how good-looking Bucky was. “Just surprise me, okay?”

Bucky nodded and quickly walked away to the nearest ice cream van.

Sam leaned against the bank and closed his eyes. His mind was still trying to process Steve’s death. When he was younger his dad had died, and his mom had made him go to a therapist for a couple of months. The woman had told him about the five different stages of grief, and Sam was sure he was still stuck in denial. He just couldn’t imagine his life without Steve Rogers, and he still did not know how he would manage living on his own. He might get a different flat, one that was smaller.

His thoughts were interrupted by Bucky, who returned, carrying two ice cream cones in his hands. There were at least three scoops of chocolate ice cream on each one. Sam’s eyes grew big once Bucky settled the ice cream into his hand.

“I thought we might as well treat ourselves,” he only stated and started eating his ice cream.

If there was something worse than having the hots for your dead best friend’s boyfriend, it was watching his so-called boyfriend licking ice cream.

He quickly looked away and stared at the ice cream in his hand, which was slowly starting to melt.

“You know, I bought this for you so you could eat it. Not watch it melt, but you do you,” Bucky raised his eyebrows and looked at the ice cream that was slowly dripping around the cone.

“Yeah, of course. Is it a coincidence that you chose chocolate because it is Steve’s favorite ice cream or is it your favorite flavor as well?” Sam asked curiously.

“You got me there. It’s my favorite ice cream flavor, too. So now you know why I had to hide my secret ice cream stash in the freezer whenever Steve came around,” Bucky laughed.

They were quietly eating their ice cream when Bucky stood up all of a sudden and grabbed Sam’s hand. Bucky’s hand was warm, warmer than Sam had imagined. The former quickly pulled him to his feet and Sam felt himself blushing. Hopefully, Bucky didn’t see that.

“Come on, we are going to see the ducks,” Bucky shouted and ran to the lake that was in the middle of the park. Sam just laughed. Sometimes he felt like Bucky was still ten years old and not 28. He followed Bucky and found him a few seconds later, throwing the last crumbs of his ice cream cone to a little duck family that was quickly picking up the crumbs.

“You are such a child, Bucky.”

Bucky just rolled his eyes and tried to pet the small ducklings. However, the mother duck was not having that and tried to pick at Bucky’s hand. It even started to flutter towards him. Bucky let out a scream and started running to Sam. “Help me, ahh. It’s trying to kill me. Sorry duck, I was only trying to pet your babies,” Bucky exclaimed. “I wouldn’t hurt them.”

Sam was trying his hardest not to burst out laughing. He noticed a couple of other people around him who were watching them. A few seconds later he just gave up and completely doubled over. He was wheezing and already feeling the weird looks he got from the people surrounding him. Tears started to form in his eyes and that was the first time the last few days that the reason for them was not him being sad.

Bucky finally came over to him, laughing as well. “They were so cute, I just had to,” he exclaimed, and before Bucky was able to say another word, Sam grabbed him by his hips and pulled him over to him. He let his hand sit on Bucky’ waist for a short moment until he realized that Bucky was staring at him, especially at his hand. Sam felt blood rushing into his head. He probably looked absolutely flustered and he noticed that Bucky was blushing.

“Anyways. They were cute and Steve loves, I mean loved, ducks,” Bucky said quietly.

After hearing Steve’s name Sam felt guilty again. Following that awkward incident, they quickly went back to Bucky’s apartment and never mentioned it again.

Ever since Sam had left to go back to his flat in Chicago, Bucky felt lonely. He had never felt that way when Steve had left him to go back to Chicago or when his other friends visited. It might have to do with the fact that Sam was the first person who really calmed him down after Steve’s death. His parents and his sister tried their best, but they were still trying to process the fact that Steve was gone. Sam’s reaction to Steve’s death was different. It almost made Bucky a little angry, because how could he not have cared about Steve, but then he remembered that Sam hadn’t know him as well as the Barnes family. Sam might have tried to pull himself together because he had not wanted to cry in front of Bucky. The last couple of days Bucky had gotten to spend with Sam he understood what Steve had loved about him. Sam was kind, made him laugh and the best thing, he was honest to Bucky.

Bucky’s last relationships had not been exactly what he pictured. The last girl he had dated had been someone named Natasha, who he’d met through work. She was nice and pretty, but after a few months she’d told Bucky that she did not see a future with him. He wasn’t sad that their relationship ended, he was sad because it meant he was alone again.

Right then, he was sitting on his couch, watching his favorite tv show. Suits. The first time he’d watched that show he couldn’t decide whether he would rather sleep with Donna or Harvey. Seeing that he was a lawyer himself, he knew the series was nowhere close to being realistic, but he still liked it. Practicing law wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured it in college but still, it made him happy.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. He quickly grabbed it and smiled once he saw the name displayed on the screen. Sam Wilson.

“Hey, Bucky,” Sam greeted him.

Bucky felt his chest flutter but tried to ignore it. Sam was his forbidden fruit, but he already felt like Eva ogling the red apple in garden Eden. Apparently, he and Eva would share going to hell.

“Hey Sam,” Bucky answered quietly.

There as an awkward pause.

“Something wrong?”

“Well, I don’t know if this might seem weird to you but yesterday, I was finally able to enter Steve’s room and was trying to sort his stuff and because he doesn’t have any family left, I thought you might want some of this and- “

Bucky interrupted him. “Sam, you are rambling. What do you want me to do?” he asked.

“I was just wondering if you might want to fly to Chicago and look through Steve’s stuff. Like, I know he would have wanted you to get most of his things. I understand if you are occupied with work but honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to get rid of his things. It feels like I’m starting to forget him. I’m already starting to forget what his voice sounded like, and it’s starting to drive me crazy. And I know it’s a lot I’m asking of you and it is a shitty thing of me to cry to you about it, since he was your-,” Sam sniffed and before he could continue Bucky interrupted him again.

“To quote you, Sam: If you dare apologize for having feelings, I might throw you into your neighbor’s pool. Even though I don’t know if your neighbor owns a pool, but you get what I’m trying to say here,” Bucky could hear Sam laughing, although his voice was still a bit cracked. He sounded like he had been crying for at least a couple of minutes. Then again, Bucky would probably react the same if he’d had to sit down and sort out Steve’s stuff.

“I’m flying out to you tomorrow,” Bucky stated. He could hear Sam breathing. “You don’t have to if you have work to do or something else, I can get Wanda or Pietro to help me,” Sam said, guilt lacing his tone.

“No, you’re right. I should have thought about that earlier. It must be hard for you. Of course, I can help,” he assured Sam.

“Thanks, Bucky,” Sam replied.

“You’re welcome, Sam. I’ll text you my flight information.”

However, he did not mention that he was excited to meet Sam again. He was sure that the last thing Sam was worried about right now was finding a new boyfriend, and Bucky still felt guilty about even thinking that he had a chance with Sam. Sam had been Steve’s boyfriend and was grieving, and Bucky was selfish for thinking that Sam could like him that way.

Immediately after the phone call ended, he grabbed his laptop and started looking for flights straight to Chicago. Since it was on such short notice, the flights were way more expensive than usually, but he didn’t care about that.

The day he arrived in Chicago was rainy. The weather was characteristically bad, so he was glad that Sam had offered to pick him up from the airport. Once Bucky had grabbed his suitcase, he made his way into the arrival hall of the airport. He already noticed Sam from far away, due to the fact that the other man was waving like crazy at Bucky, which made him laugh. Sam was such a dork.

“Hey, I’m glad you made it. Thanks again,” Sam tried to carry Bucky’s suitcase, but Bucky pushed his hand away.

“I got it, thanks,” he still thought it was cute.

They walked outside to Sam’s car, talking about random things. Bucky noticed that Sam didn’t mention Steve’s name. He was probably waiting until they got home, and Bucky did not want to upset Sam any further, so he did not mention the deceased’s name as well.

Bucky could count on one hand how many times he had been to Steve’s and Sam’s flat. It was still weird to him that they did not sleep in the same bed. But after knowing Steve Rogers for nearly two decades, it was impossible for even him to sleep next to Steve. Whenever the latter had slept, he’d snored so loud that Bucky had been sure the neighbors next door could still hear him, so he did not blame Sam for having wanted a separate bed.

The flat had not changed much since the last time Bucky had been there. The walls were decorated with a lot of artwork - most of it done by Steve. While Bucky was not able to draw a straight line, Steve had been able to draw the most amazing things with only a pencil.

“You can keep some of them, if you want,” Sam commented and squeezed his shoulder.

“Yeah, that would be nice, but you should keep most of them. They’re in your home, anyway, so why should I take ‘em with me.”

Sam only stared at him in confusion.

“I guess I’ll move into a new flat once we are done here. It’s too big for me anyway. Might as well get another roommate,” Sam stated.

“Roommate?” Bucky looked at him “Aren’t you a bit old to live with a roommate?” he asked, seemingly confused. He knew Sam was nearly 3 years older than him and Steve.

“I am what?” Sam raised his eyebrow.

Immediately, Bucky felt bad. He was such an idiot. Sam had been living with his boyfriend for the last 3 years, of course he was going to feel lonely living on his own. “Nothing. Forget it. So, where did you put Steve’s stuff?”

Sam pointed to a couple of boxes that were lying in one corner of the living room. “I got rid of most of his clothes and furniture, apart from some t-shirts and hoodies. Thought you might want to keep some of these.”

Bucky’s eyes wandered to a green hoodie that was crumpled up in one of the boxes. He quickly snatched it and pressed it against his chest. It was the hoodie Steve had worn the day they had gotten their college acceptance. It even smelled a bit like Steve.

“You should keep it,” Sam mumbled, “I have so much of his stuff, and you have nothing and…” His voice started to crack.

Bucky felt helpless. He was trying to think of something that would make Sam feel better. The only thing he could think about right then was a hug.

He quickly wrapped his arms around Sam and pressed his chest against the other man’s. He could feel Sam’s breathing and heartbeat.

Sam started to calm down, still pressed against Bucky. They stayed like this for a moment until Bucky started to feel something. ‘Oh god’, he panicked. Not now. It had been a few months since he’d last had any physical contact and it was starting to show. Sam clinging and moving against him did not make things better. Bucky felt his face heating up and tried to think of a way to break out of the hug.

“You, okay?” Sam asked and quickly ended their hug. He’d probably felt something was wrong.

Bucky was still red and quickly looked away. ‘So much to not thinking about Sam in that way,’ he thought to himself.

“Yeah, everything’s alright,” Bucky just knew Sam had felt it. However, he was glad that he didn’t mention it. It was already awkward enough for him. They continued to look through Steve’s stuff and neither of them said another word.

“I am glad you are here, Bucky,” Sam whispered after a while.

“I am really glad you called me,” Bucky responded. It was going to be okay.

“What movie do you want to watch?” Sam asked and started zapping through Netflix. It had been a couple of months since Bucky’s visit to Chicago, but he and Sam had been in contact with each other nearly every day. Bucky had started to slowly crawl into Sam’s daily life, but he did not mind it. Quite the opposite. The more he talked to Bucky, the more Sam caught himself thinking about the way Bucky smiled and laughed. The way Bucky’s eyes lit up when he talked about his work or his cat, Alpine. The cat was cute. Sam remembered Bucky finding her near the trash cans in the backyard of his flat and the moment he’d seen her he’d known that she was supposed to stay with him. Just like Steve and Bucky used to do, the two chose at least one time a month to meet up with each other. That month it was Sam’s turn to visit Bucky.

Right now, they were sitting on Bucky’s couch. Bucky was on his phone trying to figure out what he wanted to eat for dinner. Alpine was cuddled against Bucky’s chest.

“I don’t care. Chose something you want to watch,” Bucky answered Sam’s question. He stroked Alpine’s white fur. The cat snuggled closer to Bucky and purred. Sam could not blame her. Bucky’s chest did look comfortable.

“Okay, then.”

It still took Sam more than fifteen minutes to find a series he wanted to watch.

“Have you decided on what you want to eat?” he asked Bucky, who was still scrolling through his phone.

“No,” Bucky let out a groan. “They have so many options. How am I supposed to choose? I want fries and sushi and pizza at the same time,” he exclaimed.

Sam laughed. One of the many things he had learned about Bucky in the last couple of months was that Bucky loved food. It was close to being an unhealthy obsession.

“Well, how about we just get something small of everything and share?” Sam offered but Bucky did not seem convinced.

“Sam, I don’t want to share,” he pouted.

“Okay, well, that’s your problem. I already know what I want to eat,” Sam crossed his arms and leaned back against the couch. It was comfortable and probably cost more than Sam’s monthly salary. He had learned that Bucky was a corporate lawyer, which explained how he was able to live so close to Manhattan. It also explained the amounts of money he was able to spend on food. The first few times, Sam had tried to split the bill, but Bucky had always protested. Sam had stopped trying after that. It was sweet of Bucky, and Sam wondered if that was the way Bucky had treated Steve as well. The more he got to know the other man, the more he caught himself falling for him. He knew it was wrong, and that Steve would probably hate him for feeling that way - he even hated himself a little bit for it - but he couldn’t change his feelings. He tried his best not to get too touchy with Bucky, but he failed sometimes.

“I want pizza.”

Sam looked at Bucky. “Are you sure?”

“Yep,” Bucky started to scratch Alpine’s belly, and the cat purred in response.

Sam shrugged his shoulders. He knew that Bucky would probably change his opinion once the pizza was here, but he still called the pizza place and ordered.

45 minutes later the doorbell rang, and Bucky stood up to answer. Alpine looked up in confusion once she noticed that Bucky was gone and started walking towards Sam. After looking at him, she decided he was worthy and cuddled against his chest. Sam patted her.

“Oh, this is so cute, I need to take a picture,” Bucky had returned with two large pizza cartons and a smaller one containing some garlic bread. Sam smiled, but the second Bucky got his phone out, Alpine jumped up and quickly walked away.

“Stupid cat,” Bucky mumbled. It was almost like she heard him because she turned her head and hissed at him.

“Great, now she’s mad,” Sam sighed.

“She’ll get over it. Here’s your pizza,” Bucky gave him his carton and settled down to eat his own pizza.

“By the way, my sister wants to finally meet you,” Bucky said after a few minutes. It didn’t take him long to finish his pizza and he moved on to the garlic bread.

“I can’t wait to meet her. Steve used to talk about her all the time. He really loved her like a little sister.” Sam didn’t know Becca personally, apart from that short meeting at Steve’s funeral, but back then hadn’t really been the right time to get to know her better.

“Yeah, he really did. She is our little sister,” Bucky mumbled, a sad undertone present in his voice. Sam wasn’t going to lie, he thought about Steve a lot, but whenever he visited Bucky or got a message from him, the thought of his best friend was pushed a little bit further back in his brain. Every time he caught himself doing that, he felt guilty. Guilty for starting to forget the way Steve’s voice sounded, for getting a smaller flat because he couldn’t stand continuing to live in the same flat, he used to live in with Steve and mostly, guilty for slowly starting to fall in love with Bucky Barnes.

He wondered if Bucky sometimes forgot about Steve, too, or if Sam was just a horrible friend. He didn’t have the courage to ask Bucky about it; he did not want to lose the closest thing he had to a best friend since Steve.

They continued to watch the series. After a while, Alpine came back from wherever she had hidden. She settled into the crook of Bucky’s arm and looked into Sam’s eyes. He almost felt caught by her. He did not really like cats; however, he made an exception for Alpine.

Shortly after the movie, Sam noticed that Bucky was snoring. He was leaning against Sam’s shoulder, Alpine still lying on him.

Sam caught himself watching Bucky for a few seconds. He looked so cute and calm and the way he was resting against Sam’s shoulder gave him goosebumps. His skin looked so soft, and Sam had to fight with himself not to touch his cheek. He decided to close his eyes for a few minutes as well.

The next morning, Sam noticed something furry on his nose, tickling him. He sneezed and opened his eyes, only to look at something white. He tried to push Alpine away from his face and started to look around. He remembered falling asleep on Bucky’s couch. He noticed that somehow during the night, Bucky had shifted and was now laying on Sam’s chest. Sam’s arm was wrapped around Bucky’s torso. He tried to shift without moving too much but failed. He looked at Bucky’s face and noticed that the younger man was still sleeping peacefully.

‘Great and now I have to pee’, Sam thought. He ran his other hand through Bucky’s hair. It was as soft as he imagined. A few minutes later Bucky’s eyes fluttered, and a pair of blue eyes started into Sam’s.

“Morning,” Bucky said with a rusty voice. It took him a while to notice that he was lying nearly on top of Sam.

“Have you slept well?” Sam asked.

Bucky nodded and stared at him so intensely that Sam briefly thought he was going to kiss him. However, Bucky quickly sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“So anyways. Do you want some breakfast?” Bucky changed the topic, already half up off the couch and on his way into the kitchen.

Sam stared after at him. ‘What the hell was that’, he thought but shook it off and quickly followed Bucky into the kitchen.

Today was the 6th month anniversary of Steve’s death and Bucky’s day had already started out shitty. Firstly, he’d nearly missed his alarm clock, then his client had stood him up for lunch and finally he’d managed to spill his coffee all over himself and had to ask his assistant to get another one. He was currently sitting in his office, staring at the framed picture in front of him.

It was a picture of him and Steve when they were younger. He still could not believe that Steve had been gone for 6 months. It felt like yesterday to him how he’d called Steve nearly every evening to talk to him about his boring day.

The only thing he was looking forward today was that he was finally going to see Sam again. Thinking about the dark-haired man made him smile. The last time Sam had visited had been kind of weird. That one morning, they’d woken up all cuddly and Bucky had nearly kissed Sam. Thank God, he’d caught himself in the last moment. Sam would have probably thought Bucky was a horrible friend, and Bucky refused to lose his newest friend to something as stupid as a little crush.

He probably felt like that because the last time he’d had sex had been back when Steve had still been alive. Yeah, that was the most reasonable explanation as to why he could not stop thinking about Sam’s lips and his toned arms. He quickly looked back at the file in front of him. It was a case about a holding company that was trying to sell one of their firms they owned. It was boring, to say the least. He tried to get it done as quickly as possible.

Finally, a few hours later, Bucky was able to close the file. He looked at his clock; it was 20 past 7pm already. His eyes widened. He was supposed to meet up with Sam at 7pm at his flat. He pulled out his phone and noticed that he had a missed call from Sam and a few text messages.

Barnes, you there?

Buckyyy

Where are you, man?

Okay, I am just going to let myself in, I know where your spare key is 😊.

Sam had added a bunch of random emojis, and Bucky smiled. Of course, he knew where Bucky’s spare key was.

Bucky packed up his things, bid goodbye to the colleagues who were still in the building and made his way home. He was pretty sure Sam was comfortable enough in the flat to entertain himself, so Bucky ended up picking some food on the way. Thai. It was Steve’s favorite food.

As he opened his apartment door, his hands full of takeaway boxes, he could already hear the TV. Once he entered the living room, he could see Sam lying on his couch. Alpine was sitting on his lap and Sam was cuddling her. It was adorable.

“Hello, person who does not live in my home,” Bucky said and walked over to place the food on his couch table.

“Well, I decided I do now.”, Sam exclaimed. “Your cat likes me better anyways. Isn’t that right, Alpine?”

The cat snuggled closer to Sam.

“Traitor,” Bucky whispered. But he was glad that Sam liked her as much as he himself did. They were a package deal.

“What is that?” Sam pointed to the food boxes.

“Food, duh. Thai. It was Steve’s favorite,” Bucky said. After mentioning Steve’s name, he noticed how Sam tensed up. Bucky decided not to comment on it; instead, he sat down next to Sam and started opening the food boxes.

“Fuck,” Sam whispered and ran his hands over his face. “I can’t believe it’s been 6 months already. How has he been dead for 6 months? I feel like it was yesterday that I talked to him, we were planning a trip to California this summer. We wanted to take my nephews to Disneyland. There were so excited and devastated when I told them we could not go anymore and cried when I told them why.”

Bucky felt his heart aching. He knew Sam had nephews.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Bucky said and put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance.

“I still cannot process that he really is gone. Some days I forget that he is dead, just for a short moment, and then reality hits and I feel like I just want to fold myself into a corner and cry. He was my best friend.” Bucky looked down and noticed that Sam had started to sniff.

“You know, I still get nightmares about the day you called me,” Sam admitted.

Bucky saw a single tear roll down Sam’s face and he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. The man next to him looked so small and vulnerable. Bucky wanted to hug him so badly.

“I always wonder what would have happened if I had been with him. I should have made sure he’d take his inhaler with him. God, I am so sorry, Bucky,” he started to sob.

Bucky froze. It was the first time Sam cried in front of him. He felt helpless, the only thing that he could do was try to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Sam. It was not your fault. Steve was an adult, he should have known better than to not carry his inhaler with him, even if he hadn’t had an asthma attack in more than 10 years,” Bucky tried to calm him down, but that made Sam even more upset.

“I was supposed to look after him, you trusted me to look after him-“Sam was starting to hyperventilate.

“You did, Sam. You did. It was not your fault, and it wasn’t mine either. It was just a stupid, terrible thing to happen, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Please stop trying to blame yourself for his death,” Bucky shouted. Apparently, this was the only way Sam understood he was not responsible for what had happened to Steve.

Sam stared at him, not being used to Bucky raising his voice.

“I’m serious, Sam,” Bucky said again.

“You are way too good; do you know that Bucky?” Sam said with a weird mixture of laughing and crying. “God, I still miss him so much.”

“I miss him too, Sam, but Steve would have wanted you to move on with your life. He would have wanted us to live the best life we could possibly have. And I know that sounds harsh but please don’t blame yourself.” Bucky wasn’t sure if his words were what Sam wanted to hear. He would either think that Bucky was a total asshole for thinking that he should move on this quickly after his boyfriend died or he would agree with him.

“Yeah, you are right. He would have wanted me to move on. He would have wanted that for you as well, Bucky,” Sam answered quietly, and the next thing Bucky knew he was pressing his lips against Sam’s.

+ 1

Sam felt Bucky’s lips pressing against his own. At first, he was shocked that Bucky really was kissing him but after a few seconds he returned the kiss. He pulled Bucky closer to himself and started moving his hand to the other man’s neck. Bucky groaned and started to move closer to Sam.

It was everything Sam had dreamed about for the last couple of months and if Bucky was ready to move on from Steve, Sam was ready for that as well. They continued to kiss for a while, none of them saying a word. The sound of them kissing was the only one heard in the apartment. Sam was already starting to slip his hand under Bucky’s t-shirt when Bucky suddenly pulled away from him.

“No, no, no-,” he exclaimed and looked at Sam, both their lips slightly swollen from their kissing.

“This is wrong,” Bucky whined.

Sam could almost hear the crack his heart made the second Bucky stopped their kiss. Of course, he thought it was wrong. Steve and Bucky had been together for more than 5 years or maybe even more, obviously, Bucky wouldn’t move on so quickly.

“God I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, Sam,” Bucky looked at him with blue eyes and Sam wanted to kiss him again, so badly.

“Sorry, I just thought that… you’re right, this is not fair to Steve. God, I’m a horrible person, Steve would hate me,” Sam whispered ashamed.

“No, I’m the bad friend. I kissed you. I kissed my dead best friend’s boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they have a special place in hell for people like me,” Bucky let out a groan.

Sam looked at him confused. What the hell was he talking about?

“I was his what now?” he asked and stared at Bucky.

“Boyfriend, partner, significant other, I don’t know what you called each other, but I’m pretty sure that if there was one rule for friendship it’s that you don’t make a move on your friends’ partners,” Bucky gestured between Sam and him.

“This shouldn’t have happened,” he was out of breath and pushed his hair out his face. His cheeks were starting to get redder.

“No,” was the only thing Sam said at first. “You’re his boyfriend”, he continued and pointed at Bucky.

“Huh?” Bucky replied, still confused.

“No, you are. He always talked about you and he visited you nearly every week and-,” Sam was starting to ramble, but Bucky interrupted him.

“You two were living together?! I thought you were his boyfriend, what was I supposed to think? I didn’t assume two grown men would be living together as roommates,” he exclaimed.

“Hey,” Sam felt offended.

Bucky quickly noticed the way Sam looked at him. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just…I thought you were his boyfriend.”

“No, I’m his best friend,” Sam answered, this time a bit louder. What the hell was going on?

“No, I’m his best friend,” Bucky mumbled, still trying to process what had happened in the last few moments.

“Wait. So you’re not in a relationship with Steven Grant Rogers, and you never were?” Sam asked slowly.

“No,” Bucky answered, though it sounded more like a question. “I mean we used to when we were teenagers, but that’s nearly a decade ago.”

“And you’re not in a relationship with Steve either, right?” Bucky added and looked into Sam’s eyes.

“Nope, and I never was.”

There was an awkward silence between them until Bucky asked Sam, “So, the last few months you thought I was grieving my boyfriend, while I thought you were grieving your boyfriend?”

It was the thing that made Sam crack. He started to laugh. Loudly. He even started wheezing, tears forming in his eyes.

“I cannot believe this. That little shit,” Sam cried out. “He never corrected me when I referred to you as his boyfriend. He knew exactly what he was doing.”

Finally, Bucky busted out laughing as well. “We’re so stupid. We could have just asked each other but instead we just assumed that the other was the grieving widower.”

Sam could feel the way Bucky was staring at him, trying to figure out what to say next. Sam, on the other hand, knew already what he was going to do next. He got closer to Bucky and kissed him again.

This time Bucky didn’t hesitate and pushed himself against Sam. “You know,” he mumbled between kisses, “We could have done that way earlier.” The complaint was evident in his tone.

“Better late than never,” was the only thing Sam answered before he kissed Bucky once more.

And somewhere out there, Steve was looking at them, smiling to himself and thinking how much of an idiot both of his best friends were.

Feel free to leave any comments or any suggestions for improvement!

Thank you so much for reading my first ever English written One Shot! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm really looking forward to writing more Marvel fanfiction, especially Stucky and Sambucky.

much love, your local stucky shipper xx

***

#angst with a happy ending #angst #major character death #grief #miscommunication #misunderstandings #sambucky #mutual pining #fluff #happy ending #steve rogers #fatws bucky #bucky barnes #samwilson #captain america #thefalconandthewintersoldier #tfatws

64 notes · View notes

thompsborn · 4 years ago

Note

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

#ironhusbands #sambucky #headcanons #asks

40 notes · View notes

httpjeon · 5 years ago

Text

❝first time together❞ jjk ― m.

― summary: you never thought you’d fall for the charms of jeon jungkook, the campus heartthrob, play boy, and fuck boy.

jungkook/reader| college!au | fluff, smut, angst | 8.4k ↬ content warnings: light virgin kink, dirty talk, cunnilingus (with jk’s pierced tongue), blow job, praise kink, creampie, manipulation, fuckboy!jk, pierced!jk, u may hate jk sorry

a/n: thank you to my lovely beta @yoonqiful for editing this baby for me!

→ blog masterlist → series masterlist

You remember seeing him on campus before — how could you miss him, really? Your circle of friends ran close but not close enough that you really knew him.

He was handsome, easy enough to admit with dark, curly hair overshadowing bright doe-like eyes. He had a nose ring and a lip ring which he constantly played with. You'd also heard on the grapevine the man possessed a tongue piercing as well.

He was basically every girl’s fantasy — a good looking bad boy who would break your heart after giving you the best night of your life. He lived up to the hype of his reputation as well.

You were a freshman and within your first two semesters, you learned just how big of a name Jeon Jungkook was on campus. Most likely hundreds of notches on his bedpost and none making it past a one night stand.

Many women would agree to sleep with him in hopes they could “change” him, only to be disappointed and heartbroken in the end. It was a vicious cycle that he was, no doubt, proud of.

So, you vowed to never get anywhere near Jeon Jungkook. That sentiment worked fairly well for a while, but well, it wasn’t in the cards for you to avoid meeting the man.

Walking onto campus for a shitty morning class, you were exhausted from staying up late studying for a test. You take a sip from the coffee you got earlier from the cafe. It hasn’t quite kicked in yet, leaving you drowsy.

You hadn't even realized anyone was near you until you tripped over someone's foot, crashing to the ground harshly.

“Hey,” A voice grumbled, harshly grabbing the back of your shirt to pull you up. You choked slightly as the collar of the shirt dug into your neck. “You got coffee all over me, you know?”

“I-I'm sorry,” You grumbled, shaking his grip off of you as you stood — peeved that he didn't even care he literally tripped you. “I didn't mean to.”

“This shirt cost me a lot of money,” He pestered. You finally looked up at him. “How much cash you got on you now, maybe that'll cover it.”

You scoffed. “I'm not paying for your shirt when you tripped me,” You argued, crossing your arms over your chest. “I have a class to go to.”

You turned your back to the stranger, intending to walk away before he harshly grabbed your arm. You gasped, nearly losing your footing once again when he tugged you closer.

“Look bitch,” He growled. “I told you this shirt is expensive. You ruined it so pay me for it.”

You opened your mouth to tell him to go to hell before someone cleared their throat behind you.

“What the fuck do you want Jeon?” The stranger snapped, grip tightening on your arm.

“Man, no wonder you never get laid if this is how you treat a lovely lady,” You looked over your shoulder to find yourself gazing into the ridiculously handsome face of Jeon Jungkook.

“You're a dick, Jeon,” Your harasser let you go, lightly shoving you so you stumbled towards Jungkook before stalking off.

“Are you alright?” Jungkook asked, smiling. His lip ring sparkled in the early morning light.

“Yeah,” You signed, rubbing where the man had a rough grip on you. “Thanks for that, Jungkook.”

“Oh, you know my name!” His grin broadened.

“Yeah,” You nodded, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. “You're friends with Jimin who’s friends with Taehyung. Plus, no offense, I think every girl on campus knows you.”

He nodded, smile not diminishing in the slightest as he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “That's fair. It was nice to finally meet you, though. Can I walk you to class?”

You hesitated, wanting to say no but he had just done you a favor in chasing that asshole off. Sighing softly, you nodded and motioned for him to follow you.

“Oh you have anatomy with Mrs. Park huh?” He asked, recognizing the direction you were taking. “I took this class my freshman year as well.”

“What grade are you in?” You asked.

“Junior,” He replied. “Just clocked in 65 credit hours.” He shrugged.

Jungkook was the type of man you'd expect to be a dropout. Learning he'd been working hard, no doubt aiming to graduate, surprised you. It just showed that you shouldn’t judge someone by their reputation.

Shortly after your exchange with Jungkook, with him walking you to class, you found yourself seeing him a lot more frequently. Sometimes it seemed almost too coincidental, like being around your anatomy class when it ended claiming he was just seeing a friend who had a class on that same hall.

"Hey _____," A familiar voice had you pausing and turning around.

"Oh Hoseok," You smiled, smiling up at him as he walked closer to you.

"You got a minute?" He asked, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Yeah, actually class was canceled today. I was about to go home," You explained. "You want to head to the cafe?"

"Yeah that'd be great," You noticed how his shoulders were tense and his smile didn't seem as bright. It appeared something was on his mind.

"Do you want to invite Taehyung?" You asked, beginning to walk along with him. "No it's not necessary," He said. "I just need to talk to you."

"Not gonna lie, you got me a little worried here Hobi," You chuckled nervously.

"Don't worry," He patted your back. "It's not that bad! But I am going to get called back into work in a minute so I don't have long."

You hummed, the two of you falling into silence as you navigated the familiar path to the campus cafe.

It was bustling, as expected, but since a lot of people had class at that time, there were still a couple tables open. Hoseok picked the most secluded table to sit at, not unusual for him. Despite his sunshiney nature, he was still a bit reclusive — not really liking hustle and bustle and preferring to keep away from prying eyes.

"So, what's bothering you?" You asked, resting your chin on your hand.

"It's about Jeon Jungkook," He sighed, making you stiffen immediately.

"Wh-What about him?" You gulped.

"_____," He sighed. "You know I care about you. You're my best friend. I mean this with...so much sincerity." He met your eyes. "Stay away from him, okay?"

"Wh...What?" You shook your head, not understanding.

"He's been asking around about you," Hoseok whispered. "I heard from Taehyung about it. Please stay away from him. He is the most..." His phone started buzzing, making him sigh. "He's—"

"Do you need to get that?" You asked.

Hoseok sighed again, looking at his phone. "Yeah but..." He started to stand up. "I've got to go but, ______. Please listen, he's the most notorious cherry picker ever. So, just stay away from him!"

"Hey!" You called after him, watching as he put the phone to his ear and started jogging out. "What does that even mean?"

Sighing, you crashed onto your bed — letting the familiar scent of your detergent calm you.

Your phone vibrating in your pocket alerted you to a new text. You pulled it out and unlocked it, realizing it was a text from an unknown number.

From: Unknown [2:18PM] Hey😏

They were typing so you sat there and waited.

From: Unknown [2:18PM] Is this _____?

They started typing again and you raised your brow — growing impatient.

From: Unknown [2:18PM] It's Jungkook btw

Your brows shot straight up at the reveal. Fingers hovering over the keyboard, you thought of a response, unsure of what you could possibly say.

To: Jeon Jungkook [2:19PM] Yes...this is _____. How did you get my number?

From: Jeon Jungkook [2:19PM] It's a secret😬

To: Jeon Jungkook [2:20PM] Okay. What do you want?

From: Jeon Jungkook [2:20PM] Do you have class tomorrow?

To: Jeon Jungkook [2:20PM] Yes I have a class at 10.

From: Jeon Jungkook [2:21PM] Cool. Meet me at the campus cafe at 9?

You sat there and stared at the message as it settled in. You weren't sure of what to say but you knew you wanted to say yes. Jungkook was intriguing — dangerously so. The way he acted, the air he carried with him had you wanting to see more. It was like he had a magnetic pull.

But Hoseok's words were still there, lingering in the back of your mind. Stay away from Jeon Jungkook.

Before you realized what you were doing, however, a message was sent.

To: Jeon Jungkook [2:22PM] Um, sure...that'd be nice. See you then!

You tugged the hood of your hoodie over your head as you reached the cafe. It was packed as usual and you were more than a little tired from not sleeping well. Tugging the door open, you cringed as the noise level rose.

Looking around, you spotted Jungkook sitting in the corner with his eyes glued to his phone. He had a little smirk on his face as he typed something and your heart began to race.

Weaving through the people, you finally reached his table and took a seat. He immediately looked up and locked his phone, bright eyes finding yours as he greeted you good morning.

"Oh I got you a coffee and a muffin," He said, gesturing to the two items on the table. "I didn't know what you liked so I got something a little sweet."

"I like everything here to be honest," You muttered, pulling your hood down before bringing the still hot coffee to your lips.

"You look like you haven't slept a wink," He said, cocking his head to the side.

"I didn't really," You shrugged. "But this coffee should wake me up, thank you Jungkook."

"It's not a problem," He smiled, a cute bunny-like smile that contrasted with the black piercing on his lip.

The two of you drifted easily through conversation; topics coming easily as you discovered different things you had in common. You learned Jungkook was actually a really big fan of anime and used to collect manga before he had to move into the dorms.

The hour passed faster than you could have expected and you found yourself...disappointed when it was time for you to leave.

"How about I walk you to class?" He asked, standing up as soon as he realized the time.

"I'd like that," You muttered, blushing when he opened the door for you to escort you out.

You found yourself glancing at him whenever you were sure he wasn't paying attention. You noticed his ears were gauged and today he wore his curled bangs parted in the middle — allowing just a peek of his forehead. It was unfair how attractive he was.

And when he smiled, you found yourself smiling along with him. Everything about Jeon Jungkook gave you butterflies.

It made you understand why so many women were wanting him. Deep down, you could feel that same urge building inside of you. The only thing it was held back by was Hoseok's warning.

"I'll see you later, Jungkook," You smiled, standing outside your classroom door. "Yeah, I look forward to it," He flashed you a big smile with a short wink before he turned on his heel and walked the same way he'd come.

You were unable to tear your eyes off of his form. Even the way he walked exuded so much confidence.

They say confidence is sexy and Jungkook definitely fit the bill.

He vanished from your sight and you finally entered the classroom.

"Curse you Jeon Jungkook," You whined when you got home, flopping down on your bed.

Class hadn't gone well at all with said man plaguing your thoughts. You found yourself daydreaming every 5 minutes about Jungkook; his handsome face, pretty smile, and sparkling eyes refusing to leave your mind.

Still, despite the fact he was such an unpleasant distraction in class, you found yourself holding your phone hoping it'd buzz with an incoming text.

After more than an hour, it did and you jumped at the chance to see the sender.

From: Jeon Jungkook [11:11AM] You know, I really liked hanging out with you, _____.

Your heart skipped a beat and you bit your lip to contain the girlish giggle that was threatening to spill out.

To: Jeon Jungkook [11:12AM] I really liked it too. You're really fun to talk to.

From: Jeon Jungkook [11:12AM] I'm glad.😜 I was wondering...

You sat up, eyes locked on those that typing bubble — watching as he erased and restarted several times.

From: Jeon Jungkook [11:13AM] The school hosts a summer fireworks show this weekend. I was wondering if you'd like to go...as a date?

To: Jeon Jungkook [11:13AM] I would love to!

You cringed as you realized you sounded too eager. Your cheeks burned even though it wasn't even a face to face interaction. Swallowing thickly, you watched the bubbles appear again and your heart began to race hoping you hadn't just made a fool of yourself.

From: Jeon Jungkook [11:14AM] I'm glad. I'll pick you up at about 5 on Friday.

And like that, you had planned a date with Jeon Jungkook.

Even though you knew you'd regret it later in the night, you put on the cutest summer dress you owned. It complimented your figure and made your legs look fantastic. You only hoped Jungkook would notice it too.

For some reason, it filled you with excitement to dress up for someone — for a date.

You and Jungkook had been texting nonstop since he asked you on a date. He apologized for asking over text but it was the only opportunity that you had.

Truth be told, you didn't get the cute highschool romance experience so it was fun to have a little taste of what that would have been like.

Your doorbell rang and you grabbed your shoes, hurrying to slip them on and open the door. Jungkook was leaning against the railing wearing a loose tank top and jeans. You couldn't help but stare at his biceps for a quick second before forcing yourself out the door. As you locked it, you could feel Jungkook's eyes burning holes it you.

"What is it?" You asked, turning around to find his eyes scanning your whole body. Immediately, you felt your cheeks heat up all the way to your ears. "You look really good...wow," He grinned, a sideways quirk of his lips.

"I..." You bit your lip and smiled. "Thank you."

"Ready to go?" You nodded and hopped down the stairs to follow after him. He led you down the sidewalk to where his car was parked near the curb. A simple act such as opening your door for you made your heart flutter and you swear you almost gave a deep, dreamy sigh.

Jungkook was well-prepared, he even brought a blanket for you both to sit on so you could comfortably enjoy the fireworks. The place was lively, music playing from some speakers set up nearby and people laughing and having fun.

"Let's pick a spot," He said and grabbed your hand.

Effortlessly, your fingers laced together and he gave your hand a light squeeze before throwing a smile over his shoulder. Your gaze fell to your linked hands and you giggled, the sound drowned out by the noise surrounding you.

Jungkook ended up picking a rather secluded place on a hill. It was peaceful, but you were still able to hear the music playing so it wasn't awkwardly silent. You helped him lay down the blanket and laughed when he let himself flop onto it with a groan.

"That was such a long walk!" He complained.

"It wasn't even that bad," You chuckled, sitting down beside him.

The sun was beginning to set and before you knew it they were getting ready to start the show. You watched as people all around took seats together in preparation for the fireworks. It was buzzing with good energy and you felt a burst of confidence flow through you.

Reaching over you took Jungkook's hand in yours. Immediately, he laced your fingers together and gave your hand a squeeze. His skin was so soft and his hands were warm, comforting almost.

When it was time for you to go home, you were filled with the same disappointment you felt last time you were with him. Having him around was so nice, you felt so happy with him.

You never wanted it to end.

He parked the car in front of your apartment and got out, jogging to the other side to open your door for you.

"Thank you," You said, as you slowly began to walk up to your stoop with him, wanting to draw it out as long as possible. "I had a great time tonight."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded, curls bouncing in his face. He nibbled on his lip ring and paused when you were standing in front of your door.

"A friend of mine is having a party tomorrow at his place," He said. "Would you like to be my date there?"

You hesitated this time; you wanted to go, really you did. Just for Jungkook though. Truthfully, you weren't a party person. You always end up feeling awkward and out of place, unable to have a nice time.

But with Jungkook standing there, pretty pierced face looking hopeful at you, you found yourself nodding.

"Okay, I'll go," You gave him a tight-lipped smile and he beamed.

"Great!" He began to back off. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

You waved and watched as he got into his car and pulled off. Sighing, you wondered why the hell you were so enamored with him.

Deep inside, you knew why.

You step out of the car, already feeling the bass of the music playing inside. Jungkook took your hand and any apprehension inside you vanished the second his fingers laced between yours.

Once inside, you were shocked at how many people were packed inside. It was a decently sized house but even so, you couldn't even comfortably move through the crowd. All around you people were crowding you as they drunkenly swayed to the beat.

"Let's head to the kitchen and get a drink!" He called over the music, tugging you in the direction of what you assumed was the kitchen.

"Have you been here before?" You asked as you entered the kitchen, where it was much quieter.

"Yeah," Jungkook replied, grabbing a couple bottles and cups off the counter. "This is my friend Seokjin's house."

"Is he here?" You asked, looking around. "Shouldn't you let him know you're here?"

"Nah," Jungkook replied, opening the bottle of vodka. "He's floating around, we'll run into each other eventually! Here!" He handed you a cup with a smile. "Drink up!"

Though you didn't like to drink too much, you did do it on occasion. You tipped the cup back to take a quick swig, noting the cranberry juice Jungkook had mixed in to help it go down easier.

"Jungkook!" Someone called, squeezing between the two of you. It was a guy a bit shorter than Jungkook. "I knew you would come!"

"You know I don't miss Jin's parties," Jungkook laughed, meeting your gaze of the friend's shoulder. "Oh this is my date, _____."

You flushed hearing Jungkook so openly call you his date, unashamed as he motioned to you. The person turned around and you quickly recognized him as Park Jimin — a friend of Taehyung's.

"Oh well hello _____! Didn't expect to see you at this little get together," Jimin grinned. His charming quality making you smile. "I hope you don't mind if I borrow Jungkook real quick?"

"Um..." You shrugged and glanced over at Jungkook.

"Yeah I'll be back, sweetheart," Jungkook patted your back as he passed you, his touch lingering on your lower back as he did so. The touch sent tingles down your spine and you watched him disappear in the crowd with Jimin. And like that you were alone.

You had finished half of the drink Jungkook made you when someone's hand dropped on your shoulder, making you jump. You turned around and found yourself face to face with Taehyung.

"What-Hey," You greeted awkwardly, not expecting to see him.

"What're you doing here?" He asked, frowning as he looked over you.

"Um well," You shifted awkwardly on your feet. "I came here with...Jungkook."

Taehyung was silent for a moment, frown still in place as he blinked at you. Slowly, he opened his mouth, as if thinking over what he was going to say.

"Does Hoseok know?" He asked. "That you're even talking to him?"

"Well, no," You admitted, swirling your cup to watch the liquid slosh around. "_____," Taehyung sighed, warning in his tone. "Hoseok wouldn't like this, you know he doesn't want you fuckin' around with him."

"I know," You admitted, watching as he suddenly poured himself a cup of straight vodka and threw it back, downing it. "How did you find me anyway?"

"Jimin told me you were here," Taehyung said, pouring himself another drink quickly.

You fell silent, watching Taehyung chug another drink. Within minutes, you could tell they were kicking in and he placed his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm going to assume you can take care of yourself," He said. "I'm going to go find someone to get laid. But remember, ______, be careful of Jungkook."

"Yeah, so I keep being told..." You muttered as he walked away, quickly disappearing and leaving you alone again.

All by yourself, you watched people walk in and out to get drinks. As the minutes ticked by, you found yourself wanting to go home. You weren't drunk, you could call a cab since Jungkook drove you.

Finally, you wandered out of the kitchen into the living area where people were dancing and shouting over the music. You mingled in the corner, keeping to yourself and sipping on your drink that you still hadn't finished.

"Well hey there," Someone greeted beside you. You turned to find a man with sharp, cat-like eyes staring at you as he leaned against the wall clad in a leather jacket and ripped black jeans.

"Hi," You greeted bashfully.

"You all by yourself?" He asked, smiling softly. You nodded and shrugged your shoulders in response, unsure of what he wanted. "Well, you're too cute to be by yourself. How about I keep you company. I'm Yoongi. Min Yoongi."

"Your name sounds familiar," You muttered.

"Well, a lot of people know me," He had a gummy grin that was actually quite cute. Despite the fact you could tell he was a little drunk, he still smelled quite pleasantly of cologne.

"I'm ______," You introduced with a polite smile, holding your hand out for him to shake.

"Well, ______," He stood up straighter, taking your hand firmly in his. "I'm gonna be real honest with you. I think you are absolutely stunning and truthfully, I'm looking to get la-"

"Yoongi, what're you doing?" A familiar voice had Yoongi freezing immediately, turning to look over his shoulder.

"Ah, Jungkook!" He greeted happily, as if Jungkook wasn't glaring daggers at him. "Fancy seeing you here. I was just about to ask this lovely young lady to go up—"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Jungkook growled, cutting Yoongi off again by grabbing his arm and tugging him away.

They didn't go far and you could see Jungkook leaned in close to say something to Yoongi. Immediately, the shorter man's mouth fell open at the same time his eyes widened.

"No shit!" Yoongi shouted. "She's yours? Ah, sorry man. I got it."

Jungkook seemed to visibly relax as Yoongi waved goodbye to you and disappeared as quickly as he reappeared. Jungkook walked back over to you with a smile — no sign of the glare he once nursed towards his friend.

"I'm sorry for disappearing," He said. "I won't do it again. I just got caught up. Namjoon was doin' some shit, it's not important. I won't bail again, I promise."

"Why don't I believe that one?" You scoffed, taking a sip of your drink. Your own words sounded like a petulant, needy girlfriend and you mentally cringed. But Jungkook didn't seem to mind, keeping that small smile on his lips. He no doubt could sense your disappointment with his vanishing.

"Come with me," He said, taking your hand.

He didn't give you much of a choice as he tugged you through the crowd. You met the stairs and you realized he was bringing you somewhere away from the party. From your knowledge, that usually indicated he was expecting to have sex. Your heart sped up as you found yourself in the hallway, several of the doors shut and a couple open. The music was much quieter and you could hear the faint sounds of moaning every once in a while, making your cheeks burn.

As Jungkook stopped in front of a door, your mind was racing with ways to tell Jungkook that you were a virgin and certainly didn't want to lose it at a party. But as he opened the door, you were surprised to see it wasn't a bedroom at all. It had a few bean bag chairs, a small couch, and a large screen TV with a shelf of movies.

"Ah, good, it's empty," Jungkook chuckled, ushering you inside as he followed, closing the door behind you and flicking the lock. "People are learning finally!" "Learning what?" You asked as you sat down on the couch.

"This room is basically off limits to anyone who isn't a personal friend of Kim Seokjin's," Jungkook explained, grabbing the remote of the DVD shelf. "We hang out in here to escape the parties sometimes."

"Sometimes people come in here anyway?" You asked, watching as the TV came to life.

"Yeah, we kick them out if they do and slowly people began to learn," He said, bringing up Netflix.

Briefly, the phrase, Netflix and Chill popped in your mind but you shook it away as Jungkook pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and placed it over the two of you.

The alcohol you were drinking throughout the evening was finally beginning to kick in even though you'd stopped drinking. Jungkook, on the other hand, was continuing to drink out of his cup. He also pulled open a cabinet next to the TV which held an array of alcohol that was otherwise unavailable to the other partiers.

You had no idea how much he'd had but about halfway through The Day After Tomorrow, he was showing his buzz. His words were slurred and slow and he was clearly very relaxed, resting his arm around your shoulder shamelessly.

"Hey _____?" He suddenly asked, drawing your attention away from the movie.

You noticed how close your faces were, you could feel his breath fanning across your face. It smelled like alcohol but you assumed yours did too.

"What?" You asked, eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, slowly beginning to lean in before you could even process his words. He did, however, pause before he met your lips, waiting for your consent.

"Y-Yeah," You whispered, holding your breath as he finally closed the gap and kissed you.

His hand came up, cupping your cheek as his lips moved expertly against yours. You'd only had a few kisses in your lifetime but you knew right away that he was the best.

He pulled away, smiling as his thumb stroked the soft skin of your cheek. It surprised you how it wasn't awkward in any way. Jungkook really had a knack for making you feel comfortable. The way he looked at you made your heart race, his eyes sparkled as if you were an angel.

Before long, the alcohol had finally kicked in to Jungkook's system and you convinced him that it was time to go home. He was way too drunk to drive and you really didn't have any clue what dorm he lived in. So, you decided to just take him to your apartment.

He was alert enough to walk on his own, but he kept cracking jokes and having to stop because he began to laugh too hard.

"You really are so pretty," He cooed when he leaned against your wall, watching as you unlocked your door. "How on Earth did I manage to snag you?"

It was drunk ramblings but his words still set your heart on fire.

"You can crash on the couch, Jungkook," You said. "It pulls out into a bed so I'll do that for you."

Jungkook hummed, eyes not leaving your form as you moved the cushion until you could pull the bed out. Immediately, he crashed down onto it without a care and smiled happily.

"I'll see you in the morning, Jungkook," You smiled, patting his head before flicking out the lights and retiring to your room.

It felt like you were only sleeping for a few minutes before there were a series of light taps against your door. You groaned until your pillow as you were pulled from the gentle lull of sleep.

Sitting up, you looked towards the door before calling for them to come in, knowing it could only be one person.

He crept his way in, the light from the hallway casting his shadow across your floor.

"Are you okay, Jungkook?" You asked, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes so you could focus on him better.

"Yeah, I..." He cleared his throat and shifted where he stood. You could tell his drunken stupor had fizzled into quiet sobriety. "I just want to thank you."

"What for?" You asked, watching as he took a couple strides forward until he was close enough to touch.

"It's just..." He smiled. "You're so sweet and you're so kind, you even let me crash here even after I dragged you to a stupid party you didn't even want to go to."

"How did you know—"

"You're clearly not the party type," He chuckled. "I can tell. But you still went with me and..." He trailed off, unsure of what to add.

"And what?" You pressed, tangling your hand in your blanket in an effort to keep yourself from touching him.

"I think I like you," He shook his head quickly. "I know I like you. I do, _____." You couldn't believe your ears.

Jeon Jungkook, the man who slept around with anything that had a pulse and was impossible to nail down, liked you? The man women tried, time and time again, who was notorious for never even developing feelings...had a crush on you?

"I..." You shifted to sit on your knees so you could reach his height. "I like you too, Jungkook. I've had such a great time with you and...I really feel lucky that you chose me."

"Of course I did," He smiled, combing his fingers through your hair. You leaned into his touch, eyes flicking to his lips with a sudden urge to kiss him. "You're an...incredible woman."

“Jungkook…” You whispered, getting lost in the way his eyes sparkled even in the dim light.

Before you could even think of stopping yourself, you surged forward and pressed your lips against his. He tasted vaguely like the alcohol he’d consumed hours earlier. You whimpered, clutching the front of his shirt in your fists as if he would slip away if you let him go.

His hands gripped your hips, your body being pressed into his at the motion. As your lips moved together flawlessly, you wrapped your arms around his neck to thread your fingers through his hair. Your heart skipped a beat in your chest when you felt him lightly grinding his hardening length against your stomach. Suddenly, he pulled back from the kiss — lips swollen and chest heaving as he caught his breath.

“A-Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, brushing his nose against yours as he pecked your lips softly once again.

“Y-Yes please,” You whimpered, tugging his shirt to pull him onto the bed.

You laid back as he climbed on top of you, balancing his weight on his hands on either side of your head. He looked so delectable, eyes dark and pierced lip caught between his perfect teeth.

“This is your first time, right?” He asked softly, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours as you nodded. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of you.”

A cocky smirk crossed his lips as he sat up, reaching down to tug the hem of his shirt over his head. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight; his body was toned and it was clear he worked out judging by the muscles adorning his body.

His hands travelled up your calves and across your bare thighs. Goosebumps prickled the skin in the wake of his touch as he skimmed over your shorts to sneak up the hem of your shirt. His fingers were soft as they touched the smooth skin of your stomach.

He leaned down and met your lips in another searing kiss as his hand finally cupped your bare breast. He thumbed at your nipple, making you whimper into the kiss and arch your back. Pinching your nipple, he smirked at the way you gasped and closed your legs tightly around his waist in an effort to ease the tension growing between them. Taking your squirming and whining as a good sign, he worked your shirt above your head.

You let him, panting beneath him as he threw the clothing away — leaving your breasts exposed to him. Immediately, he was showering them with attention as he cupped them and pinched your perked buds before his mouth enveloped one into his hot mouth.

You cried out, tugging at his hair as his tongue made an appearance — a foreign object brushing against your nipple.

“J-Jungkook!” You gasped, biting your lip to hold in the embarrassing noises that wanted desperately to escape.

He popped off your bud with another smirk. “You like that?”

“Y-Your tongue it’s…” You trailed off.

“Pierced,” He completed your thought, sticking his tongue out to show off the silver ball situated on it. “Yeah and it can feel a lot better on your little cunt than your pretty tits.”

You flushed at his dirty words but couldn’t deny the way you gushed into your panties. He chuckled darkly, no doubt catching onto your thoughts.

“Do you want that?” He asked which you immediately nodded, not even bothering to hesitate.

He hooked his fingers into the band of your shorts and panties, tugging them both down. Perhaps there was still a bit of a buzz in your system because you couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed. You felt needy, your cunt dripping wet because of him — and he’d barely done anything.

He scooted down the bed until his head was between your thighs. He pushed your knees open, eyes falling to your pussy. You watched as he licked his lips, using his thumbs to spread your folds apart so your twitching hole was exposed to him.

“Kook…” You whimpered, embarrassment catching up to you finally the longer he stared at your cunt.

“So pretty baby,” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your thigh. “So wet and ready for me. Can’t wait to sink my cock in this tight little cunt.” “P-Please, Jungkook,” You whimpered, arching your hips towards him as his dirty words made you gush.

“Good girl, so polite,” He grinned, before he dove in and licked a thick strip up your cunt — collecting your juices on his tongue with a moan. His tongue ring grazed your clit, making your back arch.

He gripped your hips, anchoring you in place as he began to eat you like a man starved. He was sloppy and wet, letting your juices and his saliva drip down his chin. The moans he let out were sinful, as if eating your cunt was the best delicacy he ever tasted.

You gripped his hair and the sheets, needing something to ground yourself through the overwhelming pleasure. He sucked on your clit, lashing at the sensitive bud with his tongue until you were trembling beneath him.

Suddenly he pulled his face away, his lips and chin soaked with a mixture of your juices and saliva. His gaze was dark and he was breathing heavily — arousal weighing down his very being. You whined at the loss when he sat up, wiping his mouth quickly before he began to pull at his belt.

“Fuck, you got me so hard,” He growled. “Got my cock so hard. Your little cunt gets so wet, doesn’t it?”

“Jungkook…” You whined, sitting up as he pushed his jeans down to reveal he wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath them.

“What is it, baby?” He asked, wrapping his fist loosely around himself with a sigh of relief.

“Can I…” You cleared your throat, averting your gaze from his as his eyes burned into you. “Can you...teach me how to…”

“How to what?” He asked, reaching forward to brush some hair out of your face. ”How to suck my cock?”

“Y-Yes…” You whispered, swallowing thickly.

“Fuck,” He breathed, nodding his head as he fisted your hair. You whimpered, allowing him to drag your face closer to his cock. “Open your mouth.”

You did as you were told, allowing your mouth to fall open. Jungkook’s own mouth fell open as your mouth enveloped the hot head of his cock. You closed your lips around him, swirling your tongue on the tip of him. The taste of his precum on your tongue made your cunt clench pathetically.

Jungkook groaned, eyes rolling back. “Take me a bit deeper. You’ll probably have a bad gag reflex but we’ll work on that.”

Your heart fluttered at the promise of seeing him again and allowing him to teach you new and exciting things. Doing as he told you, you took him as deep as you comfortably could. He felt hot and heavy on your tongue, hard as steel with a thick pulsing vein on the underside but velvet soft skin.

Jungkook cupped the back of your head, leading you in the proper motions of sucking him off. With every pulse of his cock, more of his precum danced along your tastebuds.

Then with a defeated groan, he pulled out — wrapping his fist tightly around himself.

“Don’t wanna cum in that dirty mouth,” He growled, letting go of your hair to let you lay back down.

“Please Jungkook,” You whined, wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a kiss.

“Fuck,” He growled, spreading your thighs over his so your cunt was open for the thick head of his cock.

You held your breath as he positioned himself at your entrance. You were wet enough for him to slide in with ease, the stretch stinging but not unbearable. He stopped to let you adjust, his body trembling as your cunt spasmed around him.

Once he felt you relax beneath him, he pulled back — a long gasp escaping you as he did so before being cut off when he slammed himself back. His hips slapped against yours as he leaned over to kiss you once again. Every gasp and whine you let out was captured in his mouth, which he eagerly swallowed down.

He set a soft pace, not wanting to be too rough for your first time. The idea that his cock was the first in your pussy had him throbbing, on the verge of cumming. It was almost pathetic how quickly the idea of stuffing your virgin cunt set him off.

“J-Jungkook!” You sobbed, digging your nails into his back. “F-Feels so good.” “Yeah?” He growled, angling his hips to hit your g-spot with terrifying accuracy. “You’re so tight. Wanna make you cum…”

As soon as the words left his lips, he was bringing his thumb to his lips, wetting it with his tongue before circling your hardened clit in time with his thrusts. Your eyes rolled back in your head as you sobbed out in pleasure, trembling beneath him as you were pushed closer and closer to the delicious release you were desperate for.

Jungkook let out a series of soft curses as you tightened impossibly around him as you came, walls clamping and spasming in the throes of your pleasure. He didn’t slow or stop until you were sobbing and pushing his hand away from your sensitive bud.

One glance at the blissful, fucked out look in your eyes was enough to send him over the edge as well. He pulled out, making you whimper at the loss before wrapping his hand around his cock and jerking himself until he came in hot ribbons across your stomach. It dripped down to your cunt and he had to urge to use his fingers to stuff it into you but fought it.

The two of you sat in silence for a second, catching your breath before he stood up and grabbed your shirt from the floor to clean up his cum. You didn’t mind, the soft material also wiping away the sweat that had built up over your skin.

After a moment, Jungkook laid beside you, taking you into his arms with a sigh. “You owe me breakfast,” You mumbled sleepily.

“Huh?” He replied.

“In the morning,” You whispered. “Take me for breakfast before class?”

Jungkook was silence for several long seconds, opening his mouth before closing it again as he decided what to say before settling on “Y...Yeah.”

His response was the last thing you heard as you finally fell asleep with his warmth around you and his heart pounding in his chest against your ear.

Your eyes fluttered open and the first thing you noticed was the bright sunlight filtering through the window. You blinked sleepily, waiting for yourself to wake up a bit more.

The second thing you noticed was the soreness of your body, it felt like you had a touch workout the day before but it was a pleasant feeling. You rolled over onto your back, noting the way your stomach was starting to growl with hunger.

The memory of the promise of a nice breakfast date made you smile and you looked beside you only to be met with an empty bed. Sitting up, you touched to sheets, they were cold. He'd been gone for a while.

You grabbed your phone off the night table, noting you would have to go to class soon, and brought up Jungkook's contact.

To: Jeon Jungkook [11:22AM] Where are you?

You waited for several seconds, watching as it tried to send. Your heart began to speed up in your chest when you realized it couldn't be delivered.

As you stared at your screen, your alarm began to ring indicating you had to get up for class.

It was difficult to get ready as you kept checking your phone to see if your text got delivered. Every time you did, you were only disappointed.

You went to class with a dull ache in your chest.

As you walked across campus towards the cafe, you heard rowdy laughter, drawing your attention to a group of men. In the center, being playfully shoved by his friends was Jungkook. Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you made a beeline for him.

"Jungkook!" You called, watching as all five men stopped and turned their attention to you. "Where did you go this morning?"

There was a beat of silence before Jungkook let out a big sigh and shook his head.

"Come on guys," He said.

As he passed you, not even casting a single glance at you, you got a whiff of his sweet perfume and tears filled your eyes. His friends let out soft snickers and whispers you couldn't make out, leaving you there feeling humiliated.

You realized immediately you had been a complete fool the entire time.

Shaking your head, you decided going to class was the last thing you wanted to do. You skipped and trekked the familiar path to your close friends dorm.

Knocking harshly on the door, as the doorbell was broken, you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from crying. The lock on the door clicked and then Hoseok's face came into view.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" He asked, running a hand through his wet hair. He must have just gotten out of the shower, you noted. "What's the matter?" He quickly asked, noticing immediate that you were upset.

"I'm an idiot is what's wrong," Your voice came out a harsh whisper as your throat felt too tight from holding back your tears.

Hoseok looked behind you and down the halls before pulling you inside his dorm. Locking the door, he turned back to you to find tears falling down your cheeks.

"What happened?" He asked, leading you to sit beside him on his couch.

"You were right," You nodded, sniffling softly. "I should have stayed away from him."

"From who?" He asked, brows furrowed.

"Jungkook," You spat his name.

"Oh..." He sighed, jaw locking. "Taehyung mentioned you were with him at the party..."

"I'm sorry, Hoseok," You cried. "I know you told me to stay away but...I didn't think he was really that bad."

He sighed, pulling you in for a hug. "It's alright, he's a charming bastard. I understand why you would end up liking him."

That day, Hoseok also skipped work to hang out with you and cheer you up. He even invited Taehyung over after he got done with class.

"Where the hell is he?" Hoseok complained, watching the hours tick by as Taehyung was later and later than his promised arrival time.

"Hopefully he's picking up food," You called from the kitchen as you looked through his barren fridge. "How do you not starve?"

"I eat out mostly!" He called back.

You were about to open your mouth to tell him how unhealthy h is diet was when the door opened and slammed shut. Wandering into the living area, you saw Taehyung huffing as he kicked his shoes off.

"You alright Tae?" Hoseok asked, brow raised.

"I am never speaking to Park Jimin again!" Taehyung growled, storming past you into the kitchen where he opened the fridge and groaned. "Why haven't you got any fuckin' food?!"

"He eats out," You replied, chuckling softly when Taehyung threw his head back and groaned obnoxiously.

"Why aren't you friends with Jimin anymore?" Hoseok asked as the two of you wandered in and took a seat around him.

"Because he's a scumbag along with that Jeon Jungkook fucker!" Taehyung snapped, grabbing Hoseok's beer can off the table and taking a few sips. The eldest didn't complain, simply watched and waited for Taehyung to continue.

"Care to share with the class?" Hoseok asked. Your eyes were fixed on Taehyung, waiting eagerly for any word on Jungkook. Maybe an explanation since you couldn't get one from him — judging by the fact he'd blocked your number.

"Apparently," Taehyung huffed. "Jungkook had called dibs on ______ to get her to sleep with him," You gasped at the admission. "Jimin knows you're one of my best friends and he didn't even think of telling me that Jungkook was gonna fuck with you like that! What kind of bullshit is that?"

"What are they, in high school?" Hoseok growled. "Claiming girls like that, what the fuck, man."

"I'm sorry, _____," Taehyung mumbled, standing up to bring you in for a hug. "I know you liked him."

"It's okay," You whispered, fighting back tears again. "It was my fault for being tricked."

"It's not your—"

"It is though," You sighed. "I was stupid. I knew the stories and reputation he had. Hoseok even warned me. I have only myself to blame," There was a beat of silence as Hoseok and Taehyung shared a look. "How about we watch a movie, huh?"

Like that, the topic dissipated and it wasn't brought up again.

When Im Changkyun approached you, cheeks dusted a cute pink, you were charmed immediately. You didn't know much about him, he was a new transfer but he was kind and funny so you agreed to the date.

It wasn't until a month into your new relationship that you realized you apparently attracted douchebags. You found out, stupidly, that he'd been cheating on you.

You fumed just thinking about it; he'd texted you a risque text while drunk but it wasn't meant for you.

The second he was sober, you dumped him and found yourself watching movies with Taehyung and Hoseok once again to cure your heartbreak.

"I'm never dating again," You whined, slouched on the loveseat wrapped in Hoseok's favorite blanket that you loved to steal. He wouldn't tell you where he got it so you hijacked it whenever you were at his house.

"Don't be dramatic," Hoseok chuckled from where he sat beside Taehyung. "I'm serious! Almost all men are trash and I'm tired of it!" You whined, eyes fixed on the TV.

"Holy shit..." Taehyung suddenly whispered, sitting up straight, where he sat. "What?" Hoseok and you asked at the same time.

"Im Changkyun and Jeon Jungkook got into a fight," The three of you immediately fell silent.

"...Why?" You asked, suspicious that your two exes had beefed.

"Um, well..." Taehyung shifted nervously, seemingly not wanted to reveal the reason.

Hoseok, suspecting such as well, yanked his phone from his hands — ignoring the argumentative cry that came from the younger.

"Because Jungkook..." Hoseok's jaw fell open in surprise, making you finally sit up fully.

"What? What?!" You cried. "Tell me!"

Taehyung stole his phone back from Hoseok and stuffed it in his pocket with a sigh.

"Because Jungkook found out Changkyun cheated on you!" They both told you at the same time.

You were frozen still, brows furrowed as you attempted to process that information. A litany of questions clouded your thoughts but the main one was; why did Jungkook even care?

Later, when you had just stepped into your apartment and kicked off your shoes, your phone buzzed. Sighing, you pulled it out, hoping you wouldn't have to go back to Hoseok's for something.

What you saw, however, made your heart race.

From: Jungkook [8:19PM] Can we talk?

#btssmutclub #bts smut #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #bts reactions #jungkook reactions #bts preferences #jungkook preferences #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook/reader

6K notes · View notes

nikkoliferous · 4 years ago

Text

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram:

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all.

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy

Just wanna remind everyone that this

is why he’s smiling during this scene

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring.

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger

Honestly, though, big mood.

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway.

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather.

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is.

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess…

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD.

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit.

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

#phase one: thor #loki meta #thor meta #odin's a+ parenting #frigga's b+ parenting #topic: thor and loki's broken relationship #loki #thor #heimdall #lady sif #the warriors 3 #jane foster #ragnarok cinematic universe #mcu #topic: asgardian hypocrisy #topic: asgardian militarism #topic: odin's family dynamic

129 notes · View notes

winterbuckytho · 4 years ago

Text

When Is It Over

After being missing for 48 hours, Tony Stark comes into the restaurant and is escorted to the table James Rhodey was waiting for him at. Rhodey, always a patient and understanding man wanted to give Tony an absolute earful for disappearing like that. He and Happy had been just about to raise alarms when he got the text "I'm a genius and you know that but I had major breakthrough and can't talk to anyone else. You will never guess who's bed I woke up in."

Rhodey guessed wrong 17 times then finally gave up by texting back. "Uuuugh, I hate it when you’re right! Just tell me!!"

"One Sargent James Buchanan Barnes, the Manchurian Candidate himself. TMI, but we have no boundaries, he's an awesome lay btw. I'll send you info for a meetup and brunch. I need so much coffee."

And so not long after the two sat in a little known upscale place seated at a privately reserved table on a terrace over looking the sea, Rhodey asking how in the flying fuck Tony had ended up at a dick appointment in Wakanda.

"It all started a while ago but what happened last night started the night before last. I kept having this nightmare where Barnes is bearing down on Pepper and my reactor is busted and I'm trapped in my suit, pinned to the floor like a butterfly to a card by one of those creepy bug collectors. Pepper is right there but I can never convince him to not hurt her. Sometimes it's you or Steve and I guess because I watched footage of him before he started remembering stuff... God, the way he gunned after Steve, like a pretty Ultron. And I fought him myself in trigger mode, Christ, his eyes were colder than dry ice and emptier than Bruce's apartment right now... I had it again and sitting up after with a glass of warm milk thought about that exposure therapy thing, what is it called?"

"Systemic Desensitization?"

"Right, anyway, so I called King T'challa and it turned out Barnes was awake. So i asked to see him, explain what I want to try and do because I already have 15 flavors of PTSD, I didn't need a special designer one and reassured nothing like vengeance was even remotely on my mind. I just needed to see him outside the context I had him in before in Siberia so he agreed to have me."

"Whoa, that's a stupid idea. So what happened?"

"Well, he has a convalescent suite in the mines, most secure place on the planet I bet. From himself and from others. I went straight there and was on his doorstep at 2 the next morning. He was still willing to see me and the Princess seems to have figured out how to end his following through with the programming, so he opened the door and..."

"Stark, I understand I never even knew you and I fucked up half your lif-" Bucky Barnes began.

“I don't wanna talk about that Barnes..." Tony replied.

"Then what do you want?" Buck asked shaking his head a little at a loss as to why Stark would need to see him this bad. A cold fright made his belly feel full of squirming eels as he wondered what in God's name he had done now. 'Th-they say I'm alright now but before... I hardly remember being brought to Wakanda, everything after my arm was fried off... is just a smudge of awareness. Did I hurt him bad that day, he looks okay but what did I do..?'

"I... fuck, okay, this is one of those times where I am doing a crazy rich person thing, you know. I keep having these dreams... "I remember them all." you said. That's what you said and ever since I feel like I need to face you in a.... I don't know... unfiltered way? I need to know you're not going to... hurt me or Pepper or Steve or Rh-"

Bucky stood in the doorway his blood chilled to slush in his veins. What did Tony want him to do? Act out some death wish? 'Absolutely fucking not. I will eat a gun before I endanger anyone else. I can't, I literally can't let it happen, even by the most unpredictable accident...' "Tony, what is it you mean for me to do? I'm not gonna fight you, I-i can't, I-"

"Shit, Sarge..."Tony says and aggressively goes in for a kiss. A hard confused long and breathless kiss.

"Oh my God, you did not!" Rhodey exclaimed his incredulity impossible to contain.

"You going keep talking or are you going eat your lunch and let me finish?" Stark says a little miffed even if he wouldn't say that word unironically.

"I thought you were in like, regular killer robots trouble, but this takes the cake, please do go on. I want every sordid detail. I can't tell if I'm more horrified at your taste in guys or frustrated with you for not telling me about what you were going to do."

'Oh god my heart is racing faster than that time it almost got its promised dose of metal shards before I could get the other reactor in. I might throw up. But uh yeah, I'll admit it. I'm definitely getting hard. Is this it? Is this what I need to make myself understand he's not a killing machine anymore? For an engineering genius I'm so fuckin' stupid... O-oh ah, is- is he... holding me?' Tony's mind went from one thought to the next so rapidly it almost made him dizzy. But as Barnes wrapped an arm gently about his waist and pulled him closer over the threshold and into his suite, his initial fright at his own actions became quieter and slowed till he was thinking nothing and only letting the electricity of it flow as neurons and synapses and receptors did their work. He could feel Barnes' lips tremble slightly against his as they kissed, cold metal under his palm as it slid up over the smooth curves up to the other man's shoulder, his need now becoming clearer by the second.

Bucky didn't understand what was happening and in ordinary circumstances would like to know and love someone before getting closer this way. It felt wrong at first and he was so hypervigilant he was half convinced his body was acting on its own to attack Tony until the man moaned deeply in to the kiss, the sound of it long and greatly pleased. Barnes pulled away a moment looking at Stark. "What is this? I... I’m afraid I don't understand..."

"You and me both, pal. Oh no, Steve is rubbing off on me.... But yes... I'm figuring something out. Can we go to your room?"

"I- uhm sure it's... uhm... on the left. End of the hall."

"Come on, I can make it fast."

"I... had no idea you..."

"Again. You and me both, pal. Turned out my heterosexual philandering was me performing gender conformity and trying to hide from anything real about myself. I think I swing both ways. Or multiple ways at once." Tony said leading to the bedroom. He took off his jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair by a small table in the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Buck sat next to him and said "Ah. Well, you're not alone in that. If I had a nickel for all the girls I had hanging on my arm while hiding the truth..."

"Wow. I mean... The length Steve was going for you... I didn't realize it was a two way street."

"Yeah, I'm fuckin' stupid for that boy. All those years... and then the first one I see his face again, the curse was lifted. Kinda like a fairytale." Barnes laughed.

Tony laughed too. A genuine happy sound he had been too anxious to properly make the last few months. Hearing Bucky say it like that, he knew they both loved the same things in their favorite star spangled dumbass. Another layer of fear melted and he grasped Bucky's metal hand. "Is this going to hurt what you got going for him? I can stop, find some other way to work through how I'm feeling about everything..."

"No, its okay. I...think I understand what you need."

"Oh yeah?"

"We were never properly introduced and until you know who a man is, he will always be a stranger."

'I'll be damned... that's kinda exactly what this is. I need to know him. I need to know him inside out like how I know Steve. It took almost dying together a few times for us to become friends. This is the express route for me and Barnes.' Stark sniffed and nodded then said abruptly, "But first I... I’m sorry. I'm sorry things went down how they did for you, I'm sorry for reacting that way when I found out our... connection. I- well I was going to say I'm sorry I blew your arm off but I'll say it when I'm sure I won't be lying. I had seen you kill a dozen people that day and I'm still scared shitless of you."

The room was quiet a moment as Bucky carefully gathered so he wouldn't burst in to tears before he could say it. "I'm sorry as well. I never got to apologize to any of their families before. So thank you too."

"Hey." Stark said quietly. He was beginning to truly feel something about Bucky other then that fever pitch fear. The time Barnes had come within a second of shooting Tony straight in the god-damned face came back to him but he didn't see that man in this moment. "I want to believe you so, come on. Make love to me and show me who you really are."

"Oo, you was being all smooth with it, okay, alright, Mr Stark, turn the swag on..." Said Rhodey.

"One of these days, Alice, right to the moon." Replied Tony.

"Ha ha, okay, I'll stop. One of these days...”

Barnes nodded and turned further to Tony reaching a hand out. He used the side of his index finger to take Stark's chin and tug lightly guiding him towards himself and beginning to kiss him in soft slow motions. "Do you want me to take charge a bit? Because I don't think I want you to make it fast."

"Hah~ I uh... don't mind, bottom, top as long as you're comfortable."

"How bout we work it both ways. I mean sure I'm big and can probably punch out that whole wall down in less than 3 minutes but I have a... softer side too."

"Being little spoon is nice..." Stark replied with a small smile pulling his tie vest and shirt off. He was endeared further to see Bucky blushing in the low warm light.

Bucky pressed him back on the bed and rolled half on top of him. His was so effortlessly strong his weight could barely be felt as he held himself from simply pinning Tony to the bed under him. Heat began to flush his body as the gentle kisses they traded became more passionate and hungry. A thrum of pleasure pulses outward from his pelvis and Bucky groaned in the ecstasy of it thinking 'Guess it's like riding a bicycle... it's all coming back to me now, huh?...uhn~' while his hips rocked forward pressing down against Tony.

It was a small gesture but so erotically charged, Stark's breath caught in his chest a second then he mirrored it with his hand sliding downwards to explore the stiffening shaft pressed against his thigh. He squeezed and stroked it marveling it a little for it's size and immediately wondering how much of Bucky's size was from the serum. He suspected from the way Barnes handled himself though that it was all Buck. He pulled the waist band of Bucky's pajama bottoms out and down exposing him. Tony's hand wrapped around it and he watched as Bucky's eyelids lowered and he breathed quietly "Oh God hahn..." pecs heaving as he gasped. Stark bit into his lower lip surprised how a sight like that could turn him on and quiet still more of his fear of the man. It humanized Barnes instantly like nothing else he could have made in the Avengers tower r & d labs.

Bucky's erection throbbed, Tony's hand feeling cool on it's hot skin as he took in the sensation just made it even more captivating but he paused a moment before raising himself to stand and pulled his pants off. As he did Tony took off the remainder of his clothes as well and soon they reconvened on the bed together. Tony waited for Buck to lie down then took a position that would serve well for oral. He was surprised to be further guided gently to straddle Barnes' face. They each used oral to the pleasure of the other and it was not long before the room was full of moans and sighs.

Barnes could never explain it but serving someone willingly in this scenario nearly made his mind melt with the extreme arousal building inside him. He moans softly his tongue massaging and circling sensitive skin, probing flicking at the entrance. He can't help how he is drawn in to the movement both soothed and excited by it, all the while feeling heat and soft textures and slick saliva slowly slathered up and down his length paired with a delicious friction he couldn't withstand in stoicism. His hips jerk and thrust up and his arms wrap around Stark's thighs pulling him down against his now wildly thrashing tongue.

"O-ohn hah! Mmm~!" Tony's breathes come fast and eratic as he tries to not be distracted from the task at hand. Which was enjoying Barnes' response to his sucking and licking of the man's cock. He is becoming increasingly intensely aroused to the point of loosing much of his control leaving him trembling and squirming as he struggles to keep his tongue moving. Finally unable to do much else he accepts Bucky's entire length in to his mouth allowing him to thrust himself in and out while Stark groans in deep pleasure at the many sensations.

Bucky came to a point where it wasn't enough and he needed to see his lovers face as well as become the more active party. He slowed his licking and paused one hand grasping Tony's arm and pulling him up to head of the bed French kissing him and enjoying the feel of their tongues sliding about one another. After a few moments they worked into missionary position. Bucky licked his fingers, massaged and stretching Stark making the man whimper and gasp pressing his head back into the pillows. Then he began to penetrate working his tip in slowly, setting urgency aside for a bit to be sure they were both on the same page.

Tony, experiencing great pleasure eagerly thrust his hips up as his calves rested on Barnes' broad strong shoulders. "I-it's okay, I'm experienced, you can go harder, go faster. Oh god~!" Even as he did it he was having a strong sense of sorrow derived from the way Bucky handled his body, with such a care, terrified of himself of hurting anyone. He knew this was because of who he was as a person and not just special treatment. Hydra had commited a deep sin against humanity by making such a man kill against his own will and every minute with the former Sargent made Stark's heart break for him, drowning the animal fear right out with the deep kindness that had stayed true in Barnes’ heart all these years.

Buck nodded now breathing heavily and started to thrust deep and hard at an almost relentless pace, grunting in a low tone his eyes scanning Tony's face drinking the pleasure he caused, this somehow just as pleasing as the direct stimulation of the sex itself. But still he maintained responsibility for both of their well being and carefully examined himself to be sure he could warn if he lost control of himself somehow. His ardor rose and swelled around him and to this he was perfectly happy to lose himself in the moment, his breaths harsh and fast as his powerful thighs and hips worked to thrust and his hands rose to lace his finger with those of both of Tony's hands holding them pressed to the pillow beside Stark's head on either side, Bucky's mouth exploring licking kissing Tony's throat and chest.

"That's it , oh don't stop, don't stop huhn!! Ah aaah hah~!" Tony groaned as he chased his orgasm.

"Yeah? Ohn~ come on, come with me, come on baby..." Bucky told him between gasps and moans speaking softly into his ear.

It was one of the best climaxes he had ever had and he supposed it had something to do with how emotional the sex had been paired with Barnes commanding him to do it. 'I didn't even feel submissive till he took the reigns, and that's kinda how I like it.' Tony thought. Panting he said "You really must have given those girls a run for their money. And Steve?"

Bucky paused and smiled. It was honestly one of the most beautiful smiles Tony had ever seen. "Actually, I'd bet my left arm he's still a virgin. He's always so focused, no one ever wonders. They think a man like that would have been taken such a thing the first time it presented itself but our history together says otherwise. His birthday wasn't always July 4th, you know?"

"Meaning he didn't always appear to be the reserved type, a no kiss and tell sort of guy. Oh my God, that explains so much. Does he think it's too dirty or something?"

"Nah. He just wants the moment to be right. And it never can be with the world at stake every other day. He says to me, 'We can move to the country or the sea shore and no one will bat a lash. The ring can be made of the perfect materials for your hand and we can just settle down, when the fight is over’. He doesn't know... living is always going to be a fight. There's always a fight. It doesn't end until your heart stops. So he'll always be waiting for the right time and I'll always be waiting for him." His gaze was a bit melancholic, a bit proud and a lot yearning. His crystalline cerulean eyes swam with tears a moment before he closed them and leaned in to kiss Tony.

Tony wrapped his arms around Bucky and now he felt more real than ever, there was no monster here. Just a man who was having the most rotten luck in history. And he still fought for more each day. 'Men like them really are cut from different cloth. I always thought my dad was just being a righteous asshole when he said that but no...'

"And I'm cured! Turns out the right guy can heal you with magic peen." Strk said sarcastically.

"Pft, really?"

"Well, of that one thing. My mind is still fucked pretty hard from everything else though. But I'm glad it's finally laid to rest. Dad would have wanted it that way. Mom would forgive him, why shouldn't I?”

"Jesus, did you just mature before my very eyes?" Rhodey said with a smile reaching out to put a hand on Tony's shoulder with a squeeze.

"Yep. Let's hope I don't have to fuck everyone who has wronged me to finally put my suit away." Tony sassed back patting the hand of his best friend.

He hoped that day would come though. That Steve and Nat and Bruce and Vision and Wanda and Sam and Clint could set down their suits and anger issues and come home so they could all be worth the wait together.

#winteriron #for no real reason at all #ns.fw #Bucky X Tony

27 notes · View notes

samanthalendo · 4 years ago

Text

Why I Almost Went To UT Austin; And Why I Didn’t

(As a preface: I will be speaking mainly in vague details about my personal life and the college I ended up choosing. This is for my own privacy and comfort. In addition, I am not bashing the UT system or anyone who choose to go there; I have loved ones going there very soon, and I have a lot admiration for the school and all the opportunities it can afford someone. However, these are the reasons I will not be attending and some reasons any school might miss out on students they might have otherwise garnered. As well, all photos are mine unless otherwise stated. Enjoy!)

Let me set the scene.

Choosing a college is hard. It’s freakin hard. It’s even more difficult in the middle of a global pandemic. You can’t actually go anywhere, can’t take tours or go to fairs or get a feel for the city you want to call home. I struggled a lot with really connecting to any of the schools I was interested in. Lots of apathy towards the whole process. Despite all this, I had one school I had been interested in since the end of sophomore year, and I thought that was the only place I wanted to go.

The University of Texas at Austin appealed to me for a few different reasons. In no particular order:

It was close to family.

I have tons, and I mean tons of family in Texas. This would have put me significantly closer to them and meant I had a support system when going to college. Making sure I would have a nice warm dinner and bath to escape to on crappy days seems pretty nice during global pandemics! Notably, however, it was not close to my immediate family.

It was in a big city.

Looking back I can laugh at myself and the idea I had for my college experience. At the time I was much more focused on the social and Instagramable side of the school I chose. Any time my parents suggested a school, the first thing I did was look for photos of it. If it didn’t have the feel I was looking for (young, new, hip, growing) I seldom looked further.

Austin was exactly what I was looking for. A city with a 32.4% growth rate in the last decade (1), it screamed new and exciting. I wanted to be apart of that vibe during college, especially when I thought my boyfriend and I would be going to the same place (we are still happily together and just going to different schools, btw). Anything less didn’t seem worth it or fun enough.

It’s a high ranking journalism school.

Rankings are subjective so it absolutely depends on where you look, but UT Austin consistently ranks within the top ten journalism schools in the nation, which is incredible. I’ve wanted to study journalism since about sophomore year and I was so excited that on top of the aforementioned attributes, this would be a reputable place to study and get a degree from. Truth be told, I didn’t do nearly any research into the actual programs, opportunities, or benefits UTA offered, #foreshadowing.

UTA was the first school I applied to, and as such it established my expectations for how applying to a big name school would work. Let me just say it, the application process sucked. I ended up writing two full-length essays, only one of which I used and extensively edited, and at least five different short answer paragraphs. I believe I also had to submit a resume when I applied for the Journalism Honors program, though that was additional. It was intense, and quite honestly didn’t seem worth it. Up until this point I was pretty much riding the wave of, “Yeah, UT Austin, that’s a school people will respond positively to when they ask where I’m going.” As aforementioned, I hadn’t done any in-depth research into what programs UT had to offer me, but from what little looking I had done, nothing was jumping out at me. With nothing spectacular being shown to me on a silver platter, enticing me to #golonghorns, the arduous application process felt taxing and stressful.

(A little side note on writing college essays: do not force yourself to write about something that doesn’t feel genuine to you. I don’t care if you think you have something that they’re bound to notice or admire; if you’re not passionate about it, you won’t get anywhere. As mentioned, I wrote two different essays when applying to UT. In my first essay, I wrote about leadership experiences in high school and how they shaped me. Important? Yes. Influential for me? Absolutely. But nothing I’m ready to rave about to anyone who walks through the door. That essay felt fake and artificial. I knew I didn’t like it or want it to represent me. So, I sat down and started writing about a situation that happened over the summer at my high school, one that really ground my gears. I couldn’t stop talking about how upset I was. I wrote all about the experience and how it made me want to be a better journalist and to always help to portray the truth. If anyone would like to know more about that story, let me know. The point is, I was passionate about the topic and it made it much easier to write believably. I didn’t just need this piece to represent me, I wanted it to represent me. I wanted the application readers to understand my frustration and feel all the emotions I felt in those moments. Pick something you feel that way about.)

I’m not going to BS and say that the application process will be fun if the school you’re applying to is the right one for you. All I’m saying is it should feel worth it, like all this hard work and effort is really going to culminate into your dream school. I definitely didn’t feel that with UTA, which was one of my first red flags. I felt very disconnected from the school, like I was just another fish in the pond of out of state applicants, hoping they’d like my bright colors over the next.

A little background: I am, for the purposes of Texas schools, an out-of-state applicant. I don’t have residency in TX and I didn’t go to a public high school in TX, and this contributes heavily to UTA admissions. I’ll link a great article going further in-depth on the admissions numbers and percentages, but due to the advantages granted to TX resident applicants, approximately only 9% of UTA students are out of state (2). That number is so low because TX students in the top 6% of their graduating class, no matter their test scores, are automatically accepted. This means that on top of great grades, out-of-state applicants for UTA have ACT scores that are between 3-5 points higher and SAT scores that are about 150 points higher than their average TX counterpart.

If you aren’t stressed out just reading that, teach me your ways because I was sure was.

This was sort of where the perceived animosity started between myself and UTA. I constantly checked my email and mailbox, hoping to get a letter or promotional email or something to indicate they were interested in me as a student. Seldom did they ever come. I got hundreds of emails from other schools and received nearly as much snail mail, but hardly ever from UT, even after I asked to receive their newsletters and an informational packet (which never came, BTW).

I quickly came to realize that all of this was likely due to the fact that I was so far away, out of the UT sphere of control or influence. Most of the emails I received were from schools in my neighboring states or in my state, closer with a higher likelihood of recruiting me. A school in TX, where I did not study or hold residency, would not seek me out.

Here’s my issue. They didn’t have to seek me out. That’s fine, whatever, makes sense. But I sought them out. I signed up for everything. I filled out their long application, sent it in early. I tried to tour the school in the throws of COVID, having to settle for a self-paced walk about an empty campus to satisfy my need to know more about this school, to learn more about what it could offer me. None of my efforts proved fruitful, and it didn’t feel like the school really wanted me there. I wondered whether this was really where I wanted to be.

By mid-November, while I wouldn’t have called myself discouraged, I would definitely have identified with the word antsy. When I sent in my application in September, they notified me that I would get my answer sometime in January or February. I can’t even explain how far away that felt. Especially being out of state, I wanted to know their decision as quickly as possible. The wait felt like an eternity.

My dad has always stressed the importance of not putting all your eggs in one basket. While I had shot my shot with UT and was waiting for the scoreboard to change, he was still exploring other options I had in the world of journalism schools. Without me knowing or really agreeing, he scheduled a tour with a school about two hours away from where we lived. It would be on a Saturday, just the two of us, and we’d make a day trip out of it. Honestly, I was more excited for the trip than the school itself. It had always been one I had turned my nose up at; to be fair, I did that with almost any school that wasn’t UT.

We were about five minutes late to the opening presentation at the school. Quickly shuffling into the only seats we saw, some in the very front row of the socially distanced conference hall, we settled in for a lot of new information coming our way. Though he had planned it, my dad didn’t know that much about the school either. We were both skeptical, a bit frazzled, and tired from having woken up around five o’clock that morning.

But with every slide, every question, every time the presenter opened her mouth, we were drawn further in.

It wasn’t just the feel of the school, or the location, or the looks. The facts didn’t lie. I won’t share too many so as to keep at least some privacy, but to say this school was my diamond in the rough wouldn’t be too much of an overstatement. Despite that, throughout the day and our two guided tours, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, keeping me from getting too excited about this new school. I couldn’t help but think about UT and all of the emotional commitment I had already made to it. How excited my family was that I was hoping to go there, how happy my grandmother was that I would be closer to her. I thought of the teachers I had complained to about the long essays, the people who had edited those essays for me. I thought about the burnt orange hoodie sitting in my closet, towards the front due to how often I wore it.

The new school won over both my heart and my head. While I really felt at home there, I also would have to have been dead to overlook all of the opportunities it could afford me. I was close to my immediate family and the town I had gone to high school in. I could come home often, visit family and friends more frequently than if I moved states away. Everything seemed right.

In between our tours, due to the nagging I was feeling, I tried to schedule a tour with UTA, to at least give it a fighting chance. I figured, had I not had an in-person tour of this new school, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Maybe a real tour would make me fall in love with UT again. However, when I tried to schedule one, all of the tours for the rest of the semester were completely booked, and the calendar wasn’t yet available for the spring semester. I immediately called to find out more, only to be told that they weren’t sure the state of in-person tours upon return to campus after holidays due to COVID. Looking back, I know it was a sign. UT had, for all intents and purposes, closed its doors on me. It was time I accepted the willing arms of the school I gazed upon with wonder, truly in limbo as to what might happen next.

By the end of December, I was admitted and had committed to the new school. I wouldn’t find out about UT for another month, but honestly, I didn’t really need to. This new school had everything I could ever want, and UT had a fair amount of drawbacks. I didn’t and still don’t feel any remorse for committing without having known UT’s decision on me.

I received an email January 29th, over a month after having committed to the new school, that I needed to check my UT MyStatus page. I never really worried about getting in due to my test scores and grades, but I felt a level of anger towards the school that I thought I had gotten over, and finding out I had gotten in after all would bring up new emotions. I checked the page, and sure enough I had been admitted to the University of Texas at Austin’s class of 2025. I wasn’t elated or jumping up and down with joy or breaking down happy crying in my parent’s arms. I was pretty stoic, thinking about all that could have been had I felt any more like UT really wanted me.

(3)

All things happen for a reason. Because I didn’t feel much reciprocation in my love for UT, I instead found the school of my dreams, one that I know I’ll be much happier at. I wouldn’t change any of my decisions, except maybe stressing over the essays as much as I did.

My final thoughts would have to be this: I don’t blame the UT system for not focusing as much on its out-of-state applicants. I mean, I do, but I understand that it’s often simply not in their best interest. I do think that they should have reached out, sent more newsletters, have actually sent me the information packet I requested, anything to make me feel more connected with this place I was dying to call home. While I know they aren’t very focused on bringing in students from other states, I think they should be, especially for those that are going the extra mile to reach out to them.

The right school will have a lot of different things for every different person. For me, that meant being close to my immediate family, knowing I would have all of the opportunities I wanted, being financially secure, and feeling like the school wanted me, not just the other way around. UT didn’t provide me all of that. Finding the school that will is the most important thing. Your needs and wants may be different, but don’t toss all of your eggs in one basket. Don’t be afraid to change your mind and always keep looking for something better. For all you know, it may be out there.

(Thank you so much for reading! Links are below. This is just meant to be an opinion piece and is the first thing I’ve written for myself in a very long time. I hope you learned something and that this may be helpful on your college journey! Au revoir!)

1. https://www.austinchamber.com/economic-development/austin-profile/population/overview

2. https://magoosh.com/hs/college-admissions/ut-austin-admissions-the-sat-act-scores-and-gpa-you-need-to-get-in/

3. https://news.utexas.edu/2020/09/22/four-year-graduation-rate-tops-70-as-ut-austin-admits-one-of-its-largest-first-year-classes/

#ut austin #university of texas #texas #college #journalism #photography #uta #university of texas at austin #university #admissions #ut2025 #2025 #bell tower #writing #opinion #samanthalendo

7 notes · View notes

howtodisassembleyourdeviant · 5 years ago

Note

Hello! I was wondering if I could request something (your pick with what you want to do) with Connor having a Gamer S/O? Like cuddling while gaming, odd sleep schedules, all that fun stuff. Maybe him even trying to play? (Btw I LOVE your writing!!) please and thank you!

You have been waiting a while, and I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy this, though!

Connor loves you, but he often finds himself questioning your pastime. Usually, after work, you cozy up in front of him on the floor, grabbing a controller and loading up one of your hundreds of video games you've collected over the years. You have several consoles, a couple were older than even the first android, all in working condition.

For hours, you play while he watches. You often ask if he'd like to play, but he politely declines, content holding you. Sometimes, he likes to distract you, kissing your neck while you're in the middle of a battle. You can't even be mad, enjoying the sensation.

Even if he likes watching you do something you love, that doesn't stop him from wondering why you like to play so much.

"Why are you gardening virtually when you could start a garden in the back yard?"

"You're supposed to be collecting relics from the temples, why are you fishing?"

"This game is literally a life simula- did you design a character to look like detective Reed? The kitchen is on fire... Why are you deleting all the doors?" That one was oddly satisfying, even if he no longer harbored any ill thoughts about the hot-headed detective, he was still an asshole.

One time he came home from work to you crying. He rushed over, demanding to know what upset you so much.

"I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" You sobbed.

"Whatever it is, it's alright, " he tried to console.

"No, it's not! I got him killed!" You couldn't possibly have caused someone's demise.

"Who?" He asked and you gestured to the tv, the character on it bloody and very much dead.

"My finger slipped! I hit the wrong button and now he's dead! He was trying so hard to survive!"

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose. You were sobbing... over a video game character. You could play from the last save point, but you informed him that was "cheating". He didn't know how to handle this, so he patted your head, saying, 'Sorry for your loss' and left to take a shower. You'll be fine by the time he steps out; and you were, for the most part. Mentioning the character was not a good idea, however.

Now, you were playing a violent, open-world game.

........

"You just killed that woman. Why?" He asked.

"I wanted to test my new gun and she was standing there, " you seen the look of disapproval on Connor's face, "menacingly!" A star appeared on the corner of your screen, indicating that the police were now after you.

"The police are... You're shooting at them. We are officers of the law, and you are shooting at them, " he sighed. Naturally, you went up another star.

"They don't work in my precinct." You laugh, "If you have a problem with it, why don't you grab a controller and stop me?" You paused the game right before you were about to die and he couldn't help but wonder if that was on purpose.

"I've never played before, " he states. Most of the time, he chooses to just watch you. He likes seeing the story unfold, almost like a movie, only you're cursing and yelling most of the time, making him laugh.

"That's okay, we will make you your own character and set you up!" You exclaimed. You were super excited to have Connor join you for once. Going back to the menu, you started a new character and handed the controller to him.

"Alright, so this is how you customize your own character, " you pointed out how to switch skin color, hair, and all the essentials. While it seemed like a simple thing, Connor looked confused.

"How should my character look?"

"Any way you want! You can make them look like yourself, or how you want to be, or just run around looking like a complete jackass. There are no rules."

He thought about it, and after an hour, he had his character. It wasn't very original, he just designed it after himself, but you still seemed pleased.

"Alrighty, now for the fun part!" You picked back up your controller and signed in, appearing next to him, "here, " you held up your controller, "this pulls up your weapons, this fires, this fights and this jumps. If you want to interact, hit this..." You gave him the run down, which he listened to, despite knowing all this from watching you so much. You seemed so excited to show him something you love.

"Okay, no.... We fight to the death!" You shout, turning to his character and punching him.

"You sucker-punching vixen!" He yelled, aghast. He pulled out a knife, slashing at you. One drive to your stomach and you were down. That was almost too easy.

"Shit! You killed me! With a knife! How could you do that!"

"You kept punching me! It was self-defense!" He could see your character coming up, getting back into a stance.

"Self-defense this!" You pulled out a gun and started shooting at him, and in six shots he was out for the count.

"That wasn't fair! I don't have a gun yet!"

You thought for a moment, "You're right, let's get you some money," the tone in your voice held a touch of mischief, and in a moment, he found out why. After finding a populated beach, You took out a heavy machine gun and started firing into the crowd.

"What are you doing?" he ran up to you and knocked you off the gun, "this is between you and me!" No need to bring innocent bystanders- did that guy just call him a jerk? Maybe they aren't so innocent.

"Get off! You need money and a heist would take too long. Go collect the money they drop." He jumped on the gun and aimed it at you.

"Don't make me take you down, " he spoke far too seriously. Before you could even move, Connor fell over, dead. Looking around, he spotted the police officer that had shot him in the head. "I didn't even do anything!"

"Guilty by association!" You laugh, until you, too, were shot, "aww."

You both looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

"Alright, hotshot, I ain't done with you, " you announced.

"I'll take you on all night if need be, " He bantered back, "I'm not going to lose to someone who wears a paper bag on their head."

"You're just jealous! Don't worry, by the end of the day, I'll have your head in a paper bag."

......

In the end, you both played late into the night, causing chaos. Neither thought about work or daily life stresses. Just the two of you, screwing around in the virtual world. Connor didn't even realize how much time has passed, finally checking it at 2:13 am.

"You need to get some sleep, eventually, " he cooed. You were in a stand-off, both having strapped C-4 on each other.

"You underestimate me, " you yawned back, "dammit."

"We could always come back to it tomorrow, " he suggested. You thought for a moment, went to your menu and chose the 'easy way out', then tossed the controller onto the coffee table.

"Okay, " you kissed his cheek, then headed to the bedroom. He stared at the screen.

"You just can't let me win, can you?" He shouts, chuckling to himself, turning off the console and the tv before following after you.

"Nope! You have the advantage in damn near everything. I gotta take what I can get, " you smile, throwing on an oversized shirt and crawling into bed. Connor switched to jogging pants and joined you.

"Well, do know that I intend to take you down tomorrow, " he whispered against you.

"Path to hell is paved with good intentions, " you murmured, "I'll have to show you my other games. Kick your ass in different formats."

"You're on."

You smiled, snuggling closer to him. You couldn't wait to show him all the video game world had to offer.

#this was kinda hard since I haven't been able to play games for about a year #nor have I played any new games since I ain't got no damn money #but I hope you still enjoyed #thank you!#connor x reader #rk800 connor reader #dbh #detroit become human #connor fanfiction #gaming

104 notes · View notes

weevil-wallflower · 4 years ago

Text

Robotnik: Into the multiverse (part 1/?)

Word count: 12,395

A/N: a little-big story that was the result of a little roleplay me and my friends did. For some context btw, I’m going to mention who played which characters:

My characters: Zinnia Frost, Theodore Collins, Tweety & Dr Ivo Robotnik (aka Robotnik #2, who’s from another universe). @jimbotnik: Emil Sobel, Agent Stone, Dozy & Dr Robotnik (aka Robotnik #1, who’s from this universe). @blood-on-my-paws: Zonic the Zone Cop, an alternate version of Sonic. @stuffedfoxwiththewifipassword: John Constantine and Liam Constantine.

Have fun reading this convoluted mess of a story uwu. And yes, it loosely follows the movie-verse.

After Robotnik successfully made it into this universe, it took him barely an hour to locate Zinnia and his other self, along with a few unpleasant individuals. Instead of contacting them outright however, he first set up a base deep in the woods up in mountains a few miles from Zinnia’s house.

The mess that he’ll later find himself into, started with a series of text messages:

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter So Zinnia is your assistant. It seems I’ve crossed into another universe. A minor setback but it can be easily corrected.

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Precisely! You just toddle back into your universe before you ruin everything for me.

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Everyone How the FUCK did two Robotniks end up in the same universe?!

Dr Frost To: Everyone I’m sorry, what? OwO And who are you?!

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Everyone I’m a zone cop, and I have to get these guys back to their worlds...

Dr Robotnik To: Everyone Nice, TWO hedgehogs...

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Everyone I don’t get paid enough for this

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter Wait, you have your assistant but I don’t?! That’s unacceptable! I’m taking yours! She’s mine now!

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Just go ahead and try. Your head will be on a pike in my personal surveillance room if you go anywhere near her. She's MINE.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter I always like a good challenge.

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Have you ever tracked another man on foot through the moonlit forest, each breath burning your lungs, adrenaline racing as you close in? Have you ever been transfixed by the light of pure, primal terror in your victim's eyes? By the hitch of their breath as the knife goes in, the one shortly followed by a scream louder than they've ever produced? Have you ever truly relished the way that their cries for mercy and their begging give way to bestial vocalizations of fatal agony?

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot I look forward to meeting you.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter That’s quite a reply. I think you should relax. You don’t need to prove anything. We both know that I am the better one of the two of us.

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #2 So, there’s two of you now? OwO So different dimensions do exist! I’ve always been fascinated by this.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia Yes, unfortunately there is two of me. Although, you don’t exist in my universe anymore... But that can be easily rectified!

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #2 How exactly? OwO

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia You’ll come with me back to my universe, of course!

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #2 Ummm, no. Thank you for asking though.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia That wasn’t a question

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Robotnik #02 and Zinnia Do not steal people from their universes!

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Robotnik #02 If you don’t stop I’m going to arrest you

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Hedgehog cop Oh great. Another hedgehog. Just what I needed. It seems you can’t leave me alone even in another dimension! But don’t worry, I’ll deal with you later.

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Robotnik #02 I’m trying to protect the dimensions, that’s why!

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Hedgehog cop Not for long.

Zonic the Zone Cop To: Robotnik #02 I’m... I’m not gonna argue with you. But if you don’t go back to your world, I’ll take you back there

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Hedgehog cop You’re more than welcome to try.

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 The other you wants to take me back to his universe. But I don’t wanna go QwQ

Dr Robotnik To: Dr Zinnia I can see that. This sad imitation of me doesn't seem to realize that I can read his messages... It looks like he takes a lot of things for granted, actually. I'm on my way to your home, and I'm sending a fleet of drones and ground cover ahead of me. Hide someplace secure, and use your boyfriend as a distraction.

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 If Teddy found out there’s more of you, he’s going to have a breakdown. He already doesn’t like you 😞

Dr Robotnik To: Dr Zinnia TO HELL WITH HIM, THEN! I WON'T LET MY DOPPELGANGER STEAL YOU!!!!!!!!!

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 I don’t want to get stolen either QwQ

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot You're outclassed, you lack passion, and you're not exactly playing in your home court, either. You're unworthy of my violent tendencies.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter Bold of you to assume I’m not always prepared.

John To: Zinna Oi, just saw Robotnik at the cafe and he didn't yell "GO BACK TO BRITIAN, LIMEY TWINK" is he alright?

Dr Frost To: John Yeah, that must be the Robotnik from another universe.

John To: Zinna ...May I have his phone number?

John To: Other Robotnik I'm John Constantine. I heard you're another Robotnik, eh?

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Constantine That’s classified.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter So I see you have your assistant’s house surrounded by drones. What makes her so special that you’re willing to go out of your way to defend her, I wonder.

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Come try to find out. Oh, and don't mind the whiny, poorly dressed British man. He hates fun.

Agent Stone To: Dr Robotnik Doctor! I just spotted the blue hedgehog in the compound! He was wearing an ugly helmet. I'm not sure what that's all about...

Dr Robotnik To: Agent Stone Did you catch him? Is THAT why you're bothering me?! I'M VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW!!!

Agent Stone To: Dr Robotnik Sorry, Doctor. 😔

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 Uhhh, I saw you outside my house just now. Or was it the other you? OwO

Dr Robotnik To: Dr Zinnia I'll prove it's me! Now open up! [sends a picture of his ungloved hand, showing the fucked-up finger that Tweety gave him]

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 Oh okay, it really is you. Can’t be too sure now that there’s another one of you.

“Okay, so my agents and my machines are staked out in all of the houses in your immediate area, and all of the entryways into the subdivision are being watched. No one is coming anywhere near you without my knowledge!” Robotnik now stood in Zinnia’s living room after he proved to her that he was their Robotnik by showing her his scarred finger that her parrot gave him. Agent Stone was there as well, standing to the side, waiting for the doctor to give him further orders.

Emil glared at him, standing at a safe distance so he won’t end up doing something he’ll regret. “The only reason I haven't kicked your ass by now is because Zinnia hates violence. You're on thin ice, Ivo!” His growl turned into a shout when the scientist picked up Dozy. “PUT MY CAT DOWN!!”

“No. He likes me. See?” He held the cat closer as if to prove his point.

Zinnia on the other hand, looked on in mild confusion before speaking up. “Okay...does this mean I won’t be going to work? Can I go anywhere at all...?”

Robotnik’s response was quick and firm. “Unless you're accompanied by me, you're not allowed to leave the house. It's for your own good!”

A feeling other than confusion washed over her. Was it worry? Fear? It was difficult to tell. “But I’m sure I’ll be fine here on my own. There’s all your agents and drones watching.”

"Zinnia, this is for your own good! Don't you want to stay in this universe with your stupid boyfriend? The other Robotnik is inferior to me, but that doesn't mean he's completely stupid...” He trailed off, while still cuddling Dozy. Said cat didn’t care what was going on. As long as he was given affection, he was content.

“Of course I want to stay here! I don’t wanna lose Teddy and my friends. And for what it’s worth, I don’t wanna lose you...” There was anxiety in her quiet voice now that she finally registered the gravity of the situation at hand.

Hearing her say that, Robotnik was overcome with a feeling he didn’t really understood. But it wasn’t a bad feeling. Quite the opposite actually. It was pleasant enough to make him put the cat down, go over to where Zinnia stood, hesitate a bit before enveloping her in a hug in spite of Emil glaring at him.

The young woman didn’t hesitate though. She instantly wrapped her arms around his waist to hug him back. She needed all the comfort she could get. “I don’t understand why he’s so interested in me...” she whispered in despair.

“AHA! FOUND YOU!” What appeared to be a blue, mobian hedgehog, suddenly appeared in Zinnia’s living room, all his attention focused on Robotnik. The hedgehog was wearing some sort of red helmet and armour. It was Zonic the Zone Cop; an inter-dimensional counterpart of Sonic.

The scientist instantly pulled out his pistol. “Ohh you sure did!” He shoved Zinnia behind him and opened fire.

“Oh my God!” The young woman gasped and quickly moved away to stand next to Emil.

“MY CHILDREN! ATTACK THAT MOBIAN!!” Apparently, a pistol wasn’t enough because with a command using his gloves, Robotnik summoned all his drones that were guarding Zinnia’s suburb, into her home in order to catch the hedgehog.

Emil on the other hand, didn’t look amused one bit. “Do you really have to call them your children?”

“What the hell is going on?!” Theodore, Zinnia’s boyfriend, stood in the open doorway, observing at the chaos. His face twisted in anger and disbelief. He never expected to see his girlfriend’s employer in her home, along with his drones, trying to capture what looked like a blue, humanoid hedgehog. ‘I just wanted a relaxing evening with Zinnia...’

Zinnia did not waste a single second and ran into her boyfriend’s arms, clinging to him tightly. “I don’t know!” Her voice shook with distress as he wrapped his arms around her and caressed her back to sooth her. Before he could say anything else, Emil yelled out.

“WE NEED TO GO, NOW!!” He scooped up Dozy while frantically looking around for Tweety. “Where's the bird?!” He’d decided that they must leave for their own good lest they were caught in the crossfire.

Zinnia pulled away from her boyfriend and called out to the bird. “Tweety, over here!” Seconds later, the bird flew over from wherever he happened to be perched at that moment and gracefully landed on her shoulder. And with that, her, Theodore, Emil, Dozy and Tweety were all out of the still open front door.

But before they could go farther than the walkway, a car pulled in front of her house. And inside, was Robotnik. “Your saviour is here! Get in if you want to escape.” He called out to them, a bit too enthusiastically, through the lowered side window.

“What the fuck?!” Emil exclaimed. He couldn’t believe his eyes as. There was another Robotnik!?

“Oh no! It’s him...” Zinnia whispered in fright and clung to Theodore’s arm, pressing her body as close to his as possible. She did not like the way he was looking at her, his intense dark eyes boring into her. If she’s learned anything from their Robotnik, is that he’s unpredictable. His inter-dimensional counterpart may be just as unpredictable as him, if not more. Not to mention, she knows the Robotnik of this universe. The new one however, she knew nothing about.

Theodore was just as shocked as Emil, if not more. “Zinnia what...why are there two of them??” He questioned incredulously. Judging by her reaction, it seemed she knew who he was. But who, exactly? ‘Did that crazy employer of hers clone himself or something?’

“That’s a long story...” She murmured a reply back, never taking her eyes off the other Robotnik. The man who threatened- no, promised to take her away just hours prior. And unfortunately for them, their Robotnik had dedicated all his firepower into catching Zonic, effectively leaving them helpless. Something which the inter-dimensional Robotnik had decided to use to his full advantage.

Even Zinnia’s parrot, Tweety, looked surprised upon seeing the same man that was still in the house. ‘Unless he can teleport...’ His crest was raised in attention as he observed the scientist. No...It was not the same person. He looked identical but the bird could sense that he was different.

Back inside the house, Stone had unholstered his handgun and was firing shot after shot at the hedgehog. One of those shots successfully hit his intended target, causing Zonic to be shot on his side and fall back with a pained grunt

He stood back up, not expecting the aggressive attack in the first place. “Good Chaos, I was just going to give you a warning!” Unfortunately, unlike his other self, Zonic did not possess super speed, due to which he tried and failed to dodge the other bullets. “STOP!”

“FINALLY!” Robotnik shouted in triumph. “Agent Stone, you dependable little fool...” He grabbed Zonic by the arm and roughly hauled him to his feet. “Agent Stone! Cuff him and search him for anything that even looks like a weapon.”

“NO.” Zonic shouted in protest, despite the immense pain he was in. “OH MY CHAOS I’M JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR WORLDS” He tried to escape from the house but the front entrance was guarded by the drones. “Where’s my team when I need them?!”

Zinnia shot a worried look back at the chaos occurring in her house then directed her attention at her friend. “Emil, what do we do?”

“You listen to me, of course!” The other Robotnik called out to them, sounding so sure of himself.

“The last thing we need is another Ivo in our lives...” Emil moved to stand between him and Zinnia.

“I’m trying to help you, you idiot!” The doppelganger just barely stopped himself from letting out an impatient snarl. “But by all means, if you want to stay here and get killed in the crossfire, be my guest.”

Emil weighed their options. The certainly did not have to leave with Robotnik. They could leave in his car, which was right there- “They shot up my fucking car...” He clenched his fists in anger. This felt planned. “Whichever one of them did this is dead. Wait... it's... I don't hear anymore gunfire...”

“Do...do we leave with him...?” Zinnia asked, looking from Robotnik to her house and then towards Emil, uncertain of what to do.

“I don't think we should. I don't trust this one any more than the other...Let's just go back in the house for now.” Emil said, turning to face the house, to which Zinnia replied with a small “Okay...”

The Robotnik in the car inwardly cursed, seeing as they were about to go inside, and quickly stepped out of his car and made his way over to them.

Emil was ready for that as he was quick to face him. “Time to see if this one's any stronger than the real Ivo.” He grabbed a roll of quarters from his pocket and clenched his fist around it. “COME ON! LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!”

Robotnik #2 didn’t appear to be threatened one bit. Instead, he looked mildly irritated as he spoke in a deadpan voice. “If I was here to fight, you’d be dead by now.”

“Then why are you here?” Zinnia timidly spoke up despite her apprehension.

His attention switched from Emil to Zinnia. “Oh, I figured you all could use a little help to escape from my other, more volatile self.” He shrugged “innocently” and grinned down at her. It was meant to be disarming but to her it felt anything but that, causing her to unconsciously squish herself even closer to Theodore if that was even possible. His hands on her waist automatically drew her close, molding her body against his.

Robotnik stood in front of them, mesmerised by Zinnia, seeing her in the flesh after so long...It really was her. The same brown hair framing her beautiful face. The same fresh olive skin...Even the same voice. And those eyes...the very brown eyes he gazed into as he witnessed the life from them leave...His Zinnia was gone from his life, leaving a void no one could fill...Until he found her here...His fingers itched to reach out to her, brush through her silky hair, caress her soft skin. It had been far too long since he’d last had his hands on her. He comforted himself with the knowledge that he’d never have to wait this long again.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when as he noticed the pale, green-eyed man next to her draw her closer. So, this was the “poorly dressed British man” as his counterpart had put it. Robotnik’s laser focus now set on Theodore, observing him with narrowed eyes. He must be her boyfriend. Jealousy reared its ugly head but at the same time, he was gratified to know that this universe’s Robotnik and Zinnia are not together which meant he won’t have to worry about competing with his other self. After all, it’s not like he would care if his doppelganger took away the woman he does not even love.

“We already know how to deal with him. You, on the other hand? You're not one of us. Why are you even here?” Emil questioned further, pulling Robotnik out of his thoughts, to which he answered in a monotone voice, keeping a straight face, “There was a minor miscalculation in my latest experiment which transported me to this universe.” That was of course, a lie. He was not going to tell them that he had mastered inter-dimensional travel. He’s here for one thing and one thing only. And this is his only chance because Zinnia only exists in this certain universe besides his, out of many others.

“And LET me guess--you're either unable or unwilling to go back.” Emil crossed his arms, only to notice that his cat had wandered off. “WAIT! DOZY, GET BACK HERE!!”

Robotnik #2 took full advantage of that. He quickly snatched up the cat and held a knife to his throat. “That’s it! I don’t have time for this! Now you’ll all come with me! Or the cat dies!!”

Emil saw red. “You son of a bitch...” He seethed as if he was off his meds. He looked at Zinnia and Theo.

“No, stop!” The young woman was quick to speak up. She could not let Dozy get hurt! He was just an innocent cat. “Don’t hurt him! We’ll come with you...”

“Oh, and the boyfriend stays.” Robotnik nodded his head at Theodore. That was jealousy speaking. He simply could not imagine his Zinnia being with someone else. Especially this someone. He remembered all too well how her boyfriend almost murdered her. Oh, how much he wanted to kill Theodore where he stood. But that would only upset her and make him look worse in her eyes. She already looked scared enough. Hence, it was better if the boyfriend stayed behind. That Emil guy, though? Well, he needed something to use as leverage against her if he ends up killing the cat.

Theodore obviously did not like his demand. “What?! No—” He was quick to protest but Zinnia cut him off.

“—Theodore please!” She stared up at him pleadingly, silently begging him to do as the other Robotnik said.

Theodore internally seethed, his jaw clenching and his grip on her waist momentarily became tight enough to hurt. ‘Are they seriously going to listen to that madman because of a cat?’ His grip on Zinnia softened when he glanced down at her, genuine distress in her face. ‘Well, at least right now, it’s only the cat he’s threatening.’ He couldn’t care less what happens to the cat but who’s to say he won’t turn on any one of them afterwards?

So, Theodore nodded and, even though it pained him to do so, released his grip on his girlfriend, allowing her to step away. Emil grabbed Zinnia's hand and held it tightly for both her and his comfort. “I'll protect you, Zinny. I got your back.”

“Take care of her.” Theodore looked at him seriously. Emil nodded gravely as a reply.

“So we go then... Don’t worry, Theo. I’ll be okay...” The young woman’s doe eyes looked lovingly into his.

“Okay...I—” He was interrupted by Robotnik’s impatient growl.

“Come on! Enough of the niceties! Let’s move!” He hated the way the couple stared at one another. But even more than that, he hated how frightened Zinnia appeared. He knew his methods weren’t...conventional. Something a little like guilt tugged at his insides and he mentally swatted it away. He’d gone too far, was in too deep to be having regrets. He’d long since accepted that this was the only way.

Emil slowly approached this other Robotnik with Zinnia's hand in his, all the while keeping wary eyes trained on him.

“Get in. Now!” The doctor pressed the knife closer to Dozy to force them to move faster.

“Okay, okay! We’re going!” Zinnia scrambled to get in the car’s back seat, pulling Emil along with her.

“We're following orders. Now give me the cat.” Emil demanded once they were settled in the car.

“Not until we get to our destination. Now shut up!” Robotnik #2 yelled as he hopped in the front and carelessly deposited Dozy in the passenger seat.

Back inside the house, Zonic was cuffed and was barely able to stand upright due to the gunshot wounds he’d sustained, which were still bleeding. But he still put up a brave face. “No one’s going to listen to me, but for the sake of the balance of the multiverse, please go back to your worlds.” Stone did not like the way he spoke, however.

“Don't speak to the doctor. You don't have the privilege.” The agent kicked Zonic back into his knees.

“Excuse you, I’m an elite zone cop.” Zonic still spoke, a little too confidently for someone who was bleeding from several gunshot wounds.

“Should I kill him, doctor?” The agent asked all too eagerly.

“No, he's already been bound and incapacitated. Let's...” Robotnik paused and looked around the living room. “Where's Zinnia?”

“... WAIT DON’T GO WITH HIM! STOP!” Zonic mustered enough strength to shout when he looked outside the still open front door to see Emil and Zinnia entering the other Robotnik’s car.

Zonic wasn’t the only one who noticed as Robotnik bellowed out, “ZINNIA! This is Emil's doing... Agent Stone! Take the blue rat back to the compound!” He ordered before marching out the front door. The doctor decided he would deal with the hedgehog later. Right now, stopping the inter-dimensional Robotnik was his priority.

The blue hedgehog coughed up blood, the crimson liquid staining his face. “F-fuck, stop! Your universes are in danger! Am I speaking Greek here?!” He choked out.

“I don’t care about the universes!” Outside, Robotnik #2 yelled back to Zonic before he turned his and looked over his shoulder at Zinnia sitting in the back. “I have everything I need now...” His voice had dropped to a low, sensual octave, the tone sending gooseflesh rippling along Zinnia’s arms and caused her to look away.

Agent Stone exited the house as well, dragging Zonic back to his SUV. “Just cooperate, and the doctor might be a little merciful with you...” He trailed off as their Robotnik fired at the other Robotnik, aiming for his head.

“Well don’t say I didn’t warn y- WHAT THE FUCK!?” Zonic let out a surprised shout as he witnessed that.

The bullet, however, missed the other doctor by inches. He cursed and hit the gas, driving off.

“You idiots will destroy your own worlds and timelines!” The hedgehog cop exclaimed. Despite being fatally injured and captured by the enemy, he cared more about the balance of the universe.

“TIME ISN'T LINEAR, YOU MORON!” Robotnik shouted back and sprinted towards his vehicle. He shoved Agent Stone aside and got in the Suburban.

“Excuse me, who is the universe expert in here? I am! I- you know what? Fuck this shit...” Seeing as no one was listening to anything he said, poor Zonic decided to just give up for now.

“Hey!” Theodore ran up to Robotnik before he could drive off. “If you’re done arguing with a blue hedgehog, you’ll notice that Zinnia and Emil have been abducted!”

“GET IN! You and Agent Stone are my gunmen!!! Get the rat into the car so I can follow them!!”

“Fine. Hand me a gun then...”

The two men did as instructed and soon, they're racing after the other Robotnik's vehicle. “AIM FOR THE TIRES!!” Their Robotnik yelled at his ‘gunmen’.

“Yes, thank you for stating the obvious.” Theodore said in a deadpan voice before he took aim through the vehicle’s window and fired the handgun.

At the very back of the Suburban, Zonic sat, mumbles a song, delirious due to blood loss before wondering out loud, “Am I dead yet?”

“Not until the doctor decides to kill you!” Agent Stone answered as a matter of fact while grinning as he opened fire as well. The hedgehog simply hummed in response.

“Damnit!” The other Robotnik swerved the car as the bullets miss by the tyres inches. “He’s not giving up, is he?”

Zinnia didn’t say anything as she got out her phone and proceeded to text her boss aka their Robotnik:

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 I have been kidnapped. In broad daylight. I’m scared QwQ

Dr Robotnik To: Dr Zinnia I'm close behind him and I'm not alone. I have a lot in store for that sad, pathetic imitation of me...

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 I’d appreciate it if there’s no bloodshed QwQ

Dr Robotnik To: Dr Zinnia Then politely ask him to pull over, and make sure you're buckled in since he'll invariably say no.

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 If he’s anything like you, convincing him will be difficult OwO

Dr Robotnik To: Dr Zinnia Just try it anyway before he runs himself into a ravine!!!

Zinnia decided to take her boss’s advice and spoke up, voice a little wobbly. “Stop! You’ll end up hurting all of us!”

Robotnik #2 shouted back, enraged. “And lose you after I just got you?! Never!”

“What??” The young woman mumbled, wide-eyed and stunned to silence. She was both frightened and confused. She didn’t know what exactly he wanted from her. But judging be his behaviour towards her...she was afraid to ask...

Next to her, Emil listened in as he begun praying under his breath in mangled Hebrew, barely being able to keep himself under control.

Back in the Suburban, Robotnik #1 was seething in rage at the other Robotnik’s audacity to abduct Emil and Zinnia. He decided to text his double himself seeing as he probably did not listen to anything Zinnia had to say:

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot You have NO IDEA how badly you've fucked up...

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter Hm, by taking Zinnia? She’s just your assistant. I’m sure you can get another one.

His idiotic imitation thinks that he doesn’t care about Zinnia. But little does he know... “KEEP FIRING!! HE'S TOO STUPID TO KNOW HE'S OUTCLASSED!!!” He bellowed out to Theodore and Stone before texting him again:

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot You might have a better idea than I thought. What's the matter? Did something happen to your Zinnia?

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter I lost her... But now I have a chance to get her back. And I’m not giving up!

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Ohhh... You happened to her, didn't you? You killed her!

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION TO!!! I loved her...

“They’re getting away!” Theodore interrupted his texting spree. A subtle hint of panic could be detected in his voice.

Robotnik floored it, the vehicle speeding up even more. “KEEP SHOOTING! I'll crash into it before I let him take them to his hell-dimension!!”

At the same moment, the other Robotnik took a sharp turn to throw them off. It caused Zinnia to jerk to the side and collide into Emil. “Just stop already! This is crazy...”

That turned out successful. Robotnik #1 barely avoided rolling the car as he swerved “You bastard...” he swore before he continued the messages to try and ‘reason’ with him aka taunt him. He does appear to be getting steadily more and more unhinged. If he can get him to stop...

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Was it your reckless driving that killed her? Your fits of rage? Your utter hatred for the world and everyone within it? Tell me

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter It’s none of your business! And don’t act like you care about her!!!

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Did you hit her too hard? Did you shake her until her neck snapped? Were you paranoid? Jealous? You just couldn't stand to let her out of your sight... Death was her only relief from your suffocating grasp, and oh, how dearly you must have made her pay for that bitter end...

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter I... I never hurt her! I could never... IT WAS AN ACCUDENT!!!

The messages almost triggered a very unpleasant memory, causing the inter-dimensional Robotnik to get distressed. He barely managed to stop from colliding into another car.

“Oh my God!” Came Zinnia’s frightened cry from the back of the car. She tightly wrapped her arms around Emil held on to him for dear life.

Their Robotnik was quick to notice as he sped after his counterpart. “He's becoming distraught... Don't give up yet!!” His messages were working...

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot It's never an accident. Not with you, and not with me. You know that, Ivo. Did she have time to beg for mercy? To scream, even?

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter I loved her...

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot No. You thought that you owned her. She was simply yours. You barely understand what it means to love someone! The closest you can manage is unmitigated obsession.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter So you know how I felt. Still feel... I made a mistake, I’ll admit that. But now I have a chance to start over!

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Listen to yourself! You think that she's replaceable. The woman that you've taken against her will is just a replacement part to you, isn't she? Any attempt that you make to start over will be forced at best. She'll wish that she could meet the same end as "your" Zinnia. She might even bring about her own end to escape your pathetic, crazed desperation.

The final message was the last straw. It triggered a flashback of his Zinnia dying:

=========== le flashback ===========

In San Francisco, what appeared to be a normal was interrupted by a shocking scene: an anthropomorphic blue hedgehog was running through the city at breathtaking speed while a flying machine called the Eggpod piloted by a moustached scientist dressed gave chase and fired explosive energy blasts at said hedgehog. Despite the Eggpod matching Sonic’s super speed, most of its lasers missed due to the hedgehog’s agility and instead caused immense destruction around the city. The lasers tore apart roads, blew up cars, killed and injured several innocent bystanders. Robotnik was unconcerned about all of that. That is, until one of the energy blasts struck a building a certain someone happened to be standing next to.

Zinnia had followed Robotnik to San Francisco, hoping to stop him from doing something he may come to regret. She had foolishly hoped she could stop him from putting anyone’s life at risk, including his own. But she was a bit too late. The fight, or the high-speed chase, had already begun. And Robotnik...was too far gone in his obsession and madness. He didn’t care about anything else other than capturing the hedgehog. Didn’t care who’s blood he had to spill as long as he successfully captures the hedgehog. The doctor didn’t take anyone into consideration. Not even Zinnia when she tried to knock some sense into him earlier. And that was his biggest mistake.

Zinnia stood next to the building as she looked up towards the sky, trying to catch a glimpse of the red blur that was the Eggpod. By the time she noticed one laser blast coming towards her direction, it was too late. The laser struck the building above her and the impact brought part of the structure directly down on her. The young woman had only enough time to take one retreating step before she was crushed under it. It all happened so fast.

The manic grin on Robotnik’s face was replaced by shock. At once, he stopped chasing Sonic and steered his Eggpod to where Zinnia stood earlier and brought it to a stop near the collapsed building. He hopped out and sprinted closer towards the destruction, trying to find Zinnia. When the dust cleared, he saw her lying on her back, among the wreckage, her lower half crushed under heavy rubble including an enormous metal beam.

Zinnia whimpered in agony. Her face contorted in a grimace of pain and her breaths coming in little gasps. Her glasses laid off in the distance, the lenses broken. Everything looked blurry as if she was looking through a fogged window. She was trapped, in pain and was unable to see her surroundings well. All those feelings mixed up and panic swelled within her. Near hyperventilating, she tried to draw in deep breaths but instead, tears started spilling from her eyes and a choked sob tore from her throat. It hurt to simply breathe. Every breath she inhaled sent excruciating pain flaring through her entire body.

Her hands shook as she moved them lower and futilely tried to remove the structures pinning her to the ground. But they were too heavy. They didn’t move an inch. The simple movement caused her chest to heave in exertion and more pain flared up in her body.

“Zinnia!” Someone was calling for her. Her head weakly lolled to the side and she saw a red, blurry figure running towards her. Only when he came within three feet of her, she recognised who it was.

“Oh no, Zinnia! No, no, no...” Robotnik got to work and managed to remove most of the debris but no matter how much he tried, he was unable to move the large metal beam. Not that it would have helped. Her lower half, including her lower spine, was already crushed. She was already losing the feelings in her legs.

“Ivo...I’m so sorry... the baby...” Zinnia weakly mumbled out while Robotnik was frantically removing the debris, immediately catching his attention.

“You’re sorry?!” He asked in disbelief as he kneeled down next to her. “Sugar plum, you don’t have anything to be sorry for!” Even while she was lying there, barely able to breath, all she cared about was the baby. He remembered how joyful she was when she discovered she was pregnant... He had never felt the need for children. But seeing her so happy like that made him happy...

The young woman shook her head in despair. “I-I lost...lost our b-baby!” she sobbed, as her hand unconsciously reached down to her belly but instead landed on the metal beam she was crushed under. She couldn’t even touch her belly. It brought even more tears to her voice.

“No, no! This is not your fault.” Robotnik reached over and held her hand. His larger one completely engulfing hers as he gave a gentle squeeze. “Don’t cry please, save your strength.”

But it was useless. What strength she previously had; it was no more. The pain in her body slowly turned to numbness. Her breathing slowed down. She only had enough strength to weakly whisper out one last sentence. “I-I... I love you...”

“And I love you! I’m so sorry! This is all my fault. I’m—”

—But alas, it was at that moment that Zinnia took her last breath and the light left her dark brown eyes, leaving then to stare vacantly up at the sky.

“—sorry... Please...forgive me.” A choked sob tore from his throat when he noticed she wasn’t breathing. “Zinnia? Zinnia...? Zinnia, please! Don’t-Don’t leave me! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

She was his wife! He was supposed to protect her! But instead, he brought upon her horrifying death. He killed her... And in spite of having all this immense wealth and power in his possession, he could not save the woman he loved. Still loves... He remembered how she cried and pleaded with him to not go after the hedgehog. How she clung to him and begged him to not go down that road. But he just brushed her aside. How could be do that? How could he stare into her tearful eyes and push her away as if she was nothing. He was so consumed by his madness and greed for more, he didn’t realise he already had the greatest gift anyone could ever have: Love. If only he’d listened to her in the first place. This would not have happened. Despite what many people believed, both him and Zinnia were so happy together. He was even starting to change for the better all because of her. And he was finally going to have something he never had but always wanted; A family. But he destroyed it before it could even have a chance to grow. He let his greed control him. And it cost him his sugar plum...He remembered how that name came about. She loves...loved plums...These thoughts and regrets were raging in his mind now. The loss he had just suffered by his own hand no less, brought upon the most overwhelming feeling of self-hatred. The likes of which he had never felt before.

Robotnik could not tolerate to look in her blank eyes anymore. It felt as though they stared right into his wretched soul. The doctor’s hand shook as he raised it to gently close her eyes. Now if it wasn’t for the blood slowly trickling out of her nose and mouth, one would mistake her to be peacefully asleep. Oh, how he wished that was the case. He wished he could wake up and find out it was all a horrible nightmare. But alas, it was not. Now, he could do nothing but kiss her cold lips one last time, lay his head on her lifeless body and weep. He was useless.

========== flashback end ==========

So caught up he was in this horrendous memory, he didn’t notice the car to slow down and swerve until it was too late.

“If you two don't disable that fucking car he's--fuck!!” Robotnik #1 was not just seething with rage anymore. An intense fear was crawling through him as well. The fear of not being able to stop his other self in time.

But just at that moment, Theodore was able to shoot one of the tyres. “I think I hit it...”

“God damnit! No!” The other Robotnik bellowed out in frustration as the tyres screeched and his car came to a jerking stop.

“IT'S OVER YOU SON OF A BITCH!!” Their Robotnik screeched to a halt a few feet away and he wasted no time in jumping out of the car, and sprinting toward the imposter's car.

“Oh, thank God...” Zinnia on the other hand, tried to calm her nerves as she slowly stepped out of the car, only to be grabbed by said imposter.

“Let us leave and no one needs to get hurt!” The other Robotnik snarled as he pulled Zinnia closer with both arms around her body, gripping her tightly but not enough to be painful. That however did nothing to ease the young woman’s fears. She was practically trembling.

Fortunately, Emil came to her rescue. With his face a mask of cold, focused rage, he struck Robotnik's double with a rabbit punch. The force staggered him back, making him let go of Zinnia. “No... No!” Then he remembered his gloves. Assuming both him and his counterpart had identical technology. It was worth a try... He punched a few buttons on his glove with practised ease and successfully activated the drones, commanding them to fire at the others, except Zinnia, of course.

But sadly, she still got shot in the side as she ran away. Her body seized under the white hot pain she felt, causing her to fall with a pained scream.

Robotnik #1 tackled his doppelganger in spite of the sudden hail of bullets, and he laid into him with his fists. Zinnia's scream only stoked the rage and hatred in his eyes...

“THEO! Go grab her! I'll draw them to me!” Stone started providing cover fire the same time as Theodore bellowed out Zinnia’s name and sprinted towards where she had fallen and now laid on the road, unable to move due to the immense pain she felt in her waist’s left side.

Theodore quickly kneeled down next to her and put pressure on her wound. “Hey, I got you.”

“Oh God... it hurts...” She barely managed to speak, her eyes screwed shut and face scrunched up in pain.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. I need you to breath” her boyfriend cradled her close and kept pressure on her wound.

“Stop touching me...” She whimpered and tried to blindly push away his hands as the pressure aggravated her pain.

“Zinnia, I need to make sure you don’t bleed out. Take deep breaths.”

Back with the two Robotnik’s, the fistfight came to an end because the second Robotnik had managed to get out his taser and fired it at the first Robotnik, successfully incapacitating him and pushed him away, “GET OFF ME!”

But he wasn’t out of the water yet. Emil strode closer, his eyes as crazed as Ivo's as he stomped on the imposter's chest with all his strength which definitely fractured a rib or two. He grunted in pain before grabbing Emil’s leg, and managed to throw him off his feet and stood up.

Agent Stone noticed and took aim at the other Robotnik and nicked him in the leg, causing him to lose his footing. He looked back, enraged and directed a drone to shoot at Stone, who promptly took cover behind the car.

While the others were distracted, the other Robotnik took it as an opportunity to escape. He limped towards an abandoned car, probably left behind in a panic by a terrified civilian, hopped in and drove off. ‘Today didn’t go as planned. But I will not give up...’ While racing away in the car, he was torn up between wanting to go back and make sure Zinnia was alright, to help her but he knew if he didn’t escape now, he would never get another chance. He never expected his other self to care this much about her, to be this passionate when it came to protecting her considering she happened to be in a relationship with a man who’s not him. But it may work in his favour. Knowing this, he hoped his other self would do everything in his power to make sure she would be fine.

Meanwhile, their Robotnik was still on the ground, barely able to breathe but he tried to struggle to his feet anyway. He was helped up to his feet by Emil, who brought him closer to Zinnia. The misty air was condensing into a soft drizzle. “Did he hit any organs? Is she gonna be alright?!” Emil frantically questioned.

“No, nothing vital. But we need to have the wound treated...” Theodore answered, worry evident in his voice.

“We... Oh Jesus... Uhh, we have a hospital wing back at the compound. I think it might be the closest place.”

“Good idea... we should move.” Honestly, the compound was the last place he wanted Zinnia to be, but looking at the condition she was in, Theodore was quick to agree.

Robotnik fell to his knees next to Zinnia, opposite of Theo. He was as pale as a burial shroud. “Zinnia...”

“H-hey...” The young woman managed to give Robotnik a smile despite her pain when she saw how worried he looked. “I-I’ll be fine...“

Robotnik started to say something to Agent Stone, but he couldn’t get the words out. He started sobbing, and he was mortified that he could not make it stop. Seeing Zinnia like that, he was overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness.

Zinnia’s eyebrows knitted together in a little worried frown. “Don’t c-cry! It wasn’t your fault!” She tried to reassure him but to avail.

“Uhh, do you... I can help you carry her if you need...” Emil asked Theodore before staring at Robotnik. In shock at the sobbing mess he’d become. “Ah Christ, Ivo!”

“No, it’s alright. I got her.” Theodore stood with Zinnia in his arms, wincing at the pained gasp she let out.

“Y-yeah, you l-look after Rob...” Zinnia told Emil, breathing heavily. “I-I’m starting to feel sick...” Nausea was creeping in.

Emil assured her while removing Dozy from the car. “Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him. Stone, can you drive us?”

Agent Stone looked the SUV over for damage before answering. “I should be able to, yeah.”

“Emil... take Tweety with you too, p-please...” Zinnia requested when she noticed him getting Dozy. The poor parrot was still in the car, probably in shock after the crazy car ride.

“C'mon buddy. You can sit with me n' Dozy...” Emil cautiously held out his forearm to the cockatoo who hesitated before perching on Emil’s arm. The bird was very worried about Zinnia. She sounded like she was in distress and he could detect the smell of blood...

“Alright... let’s leave. Quickly now! The bleeding is getting worse.” Theodore hurried over to the SUV with Zinnia in his arms. He settled them both in, with her lying on his lap, making sure she was as comfortable as possible. He noticed her bleeding had gotten worse. The entire left side of her black shirt now completely soaked in her blood. He quickly removed his jacket and pressed it to her wound, causing her face to contort in pain. Hopefully, it will help slow down the bleeding.

Robotnik was very quiet as he got inside the SUV after Theo and Zinnia. He sat as near to them as possible.

“Alright, I think everyone's accounted for, right?” Emil closed the door after climbing in the front seat next to Agent Stone, who immediately had to give Dozy ear scritches before driving away.

The car ride was quiet for a while until Zonic, who had been in the back the entire time, started messing around with his communicator, trying to make any contact with his team while mumbling to himself. “Fucking idiots. This is so bad. Destroying your own universes like this... ughh.”

“Shut up back there! What are you doing?” Agent Stone called out from the front before turning to look at the man next to him. “Emil--”

“I got it...” Emil climbed out of his seat and into the very back where Zonic was and reached over. “Just gimme that... whatever that is. I don't wanna hurt you, but I will. I've had an EXTREMELY long day.”

Despite his still untreated wounds, the hedgehog oozed confidence and lazily looked at Emil. “Talking to me?” Or perhaps it was the blood loss.

Emil grabbed him by the wrist. “No, asshole! The blue alien midget behind you! Why the fuck didn't you take this off him, Stone?!” He yelled at the Agent as he tried to grab the communicator.

“Good Chaos, just take it, don’t break it! I never thought I would miss being alone in an office...” Zonic managed to send one message before Emil snatched it away. “... welp, you can take it now. And I’m a multiverse guardian, also known as a zone cop, thank you very much.”

“Pfft, whatever, space-pig. I fuckin hate cops... You're lucky Ivo wants you alive!” Emil just scoffed before returning to his seat.

“I’d rather be dead.” The hedgehog replied in a serious tone.

The silence was broken once again, by Zinnia this time. “A-Are we...t-there yet? I’m n-not feeling...so good...” She mumbled, starting to feel weaker.

“WHY AREN'T YOU DRIVING FASTER?! STEP ON IT!!” Robotnik was quick to shout at Stone. Seeing Zinnia like that...he felt so helpless...

“Hey, stay awake. We’ll be there soon, okay?” Theodore gently held her limp hand. “I’m here.”

“I feel so tired...” she just whispered in response, her eyes starting to close on their own.

“Zinnia, no! Try to stay awake for a little longer, please.” Her boyfriend urged her.

At the same time, Robotnik was also quick to keep her from closing her eyes as he practically yelled. “NO! You can't close your eyes! Look at your boyfriend or something!”

“Hmm...” Zinnia opened her eyes weakly. “But I just want to sleep...” The blood loss was making her feel weak and faint. But they could not let her fall asleep. Because if they did, she may never wake up...

“I know. Please stay awake for a little longer. You can sleep all you want after we get there.” Theodore squeezed her hand, trying to get her to stay awake.

“Okay guys, we're almost to the parking garage! A team of medics will be there to get her to the hospital wing.” Stone informed them as he drove past the compound gates.

“Good, we’re here...I just...wanna sleep...” Zinnia faintly mumbled.

“DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! YOU'RE STAYING AWAKE UNTIL I SAY YOU CAN FALL ASLEEP!!” Robotnik wasted no time in jumping out of the car and screamed at the nearest emt. “GET HER INTO THE HOSPITAL! QUIT STANDING AROUND!!”

Theodore was quick to exit next, carrying Zinnia in his arms and followed Robotnik towards one of the awaiting emt’s. Agent Stone must’ve called ahead and informed them of the situation.

<->-<->-<->-<->-<->

As soon as other Robotnik retreated to his hidden base and treated his injuries, he messaged his inter-dimensional counterpart. As much as he loathed to talk to him, he had to find out if Zinnia was alright. It was unlikely he would get a clear answer from him but he was desperate...:

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter How is she? Tell me she’s okay!

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot Well, considering the fact that you shot her while she fled terrified from you, what do you think?

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter This would not have happened if you hadn’t intervened! Everything was fine until you showed up! Why could you not have let me taken her? You don’t even love her like I do!

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot You're right. I don't love her like you do. Maybe that's why she wanted me to protect her from you. Nothing was fine. Even you, in your delusional state, must acknowledge that she had to be threatened and coerced into entering that car with you. What would you even do if you'd gotten away with her? Please, enlighten me as to how you'd force her to love you!

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter Please... Just tell me if she’s alive or not. Nothing else matters to me more than knowing whether she’s okay.

Dr Robotnik To: Fraudulent Idiot You're an idiot. She'd say the same thing if she could.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: The Imposter “If she could”??? Is she..

Dr Robotnik [message left on read]

Back at the compound, Robotnik had moved to Zinnia’s hospital room soon after her gunshot wound was treated. He brought his work with him as well. He was not letting her out of his sight until he knows that the other Robotnik is either dead or never coming back.

Theodore sat on the hospital bed, holding Zinnia close to him while she slept and gave Robotnik a strange look. “What are you still doing here?”

Robotnik was furiously typing away at a portable workstation as he answered. “What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to work! There's a lot to do before that idiot shows up again. He's been texting me non-stop... I made it sound like she's dead.” He paused to look up at Theo and smiled grimly. “If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's a little unstable!”

The other man appeared a bit uncertain. “You made it sound like she’s dead...? If he’s anything like you, I don’t think that will be enough to deter him. What does he want with her anyway?”

The scientist scoffed. “He loves her, allegedly. He did something to his universe's Zinnia, and now he wants ours. He thinks that he loves her, but this is how he goes about it...” He shook his head. “If there's anything I know about myself, it's that I wouldn't know love if it slapped me in the face. I'd never pretend to know...” He fell quiet and stopped typing for a moment. Then, he went back to work.

Unaware to either of them, Zinnia was awake and was listening to their conversation. She pretended to be asleep for a little longer, lying on the bed with her body tucked against Theodore’s, trying to get the raging emotions within her to calm down.

“Do you? Love her, I mean?” Since they were speaking, Theodore took it as an opportunity to probe further.

Robotnik gave Theo a deadpan expression. “If I loved her, then she'd be about as miserable as Liz, if not more. I'm sure you've heard about what I did to her. Emil isn't a discreet person.” His answer only managed to baffle the other man even more, causing him to shake his head in confusion.

“Then why do you care about her so much?” During the time Theodore has known Robotnik, he has seen the scientist to show genuine concern for only a select few people. Zinnia being one of them.

Robotnik’s gaze shifted from Theodore to Zinnia as he looked at her sadly. “I respect her. I want her to be safe and happy. I don't want to push her away like I've done with everyone else in my life.” What Robotnik didn’t realise however, was that is exactly what love is. Zinnia on the other hand, did as she silently listened to what he said. She couldn’t help but feel content at what she heard.

Theodore just nodded silently and decided not to inquire further.

After a few minutes of silence, Zinnia decided she was unable to fall back to sleep, despite the fatigue she felt in her entire body. She groaned and rolls to her back, immediately regretting it as pain flares up in her waist. “Ugh, what time is it?”

“Zinnia!” Robotnik's out of his seat and by her side immediately. “Stop moving around so much. A bullet tore through your body just a few hours ago! You're a doctor--tell her to stop!”

“He’s right, Zinnia. You need to be on bed rest for a few more days.” Theodore gently held her shoulder to stop her from moving too much.”

“I wanna go home...” Zinnia whispered, feeling overwhelmed, before bursting into tears, cuddling close to Theodore.

“Hey, Zinnia...” He softly whispered and gently held her closer. “It’ll be alright.”

Robotnik just watched silently from his seat by the bed and hoped she’ll be alright soon.

<->-<->-<->-<->-<->

The next day, Zinnia had not one but two unexpected visitors.

The door to the hospital room burst open and there stood John Constantine, “ZINNA HOLY FUCK!!!!!! LOOK AT MY SON!!!” He held up a little boy high in his hands in an imitation of Lion king.

The young woman was resting on her bed and was startled a bit due to John’s loud entry before she looked at the baby in wonder. “Oh my God, so cute! What’s his name?”

“Liam Mary Constantine...” John replied proudly.

Robotnik took that moment to enter the room as well, yelling at John all the while. “GET OUT OF HERE!! Can't you see she's recovering from a bullet wound?!” He noticed the baby in the other man’s hands. “Will you PLEASE remove that infant from the premises!”

“Can I hold him?” Zinnia reached out her hands towards John before looking at Robotnik with her wide, doe eyes. “He’s just a baby.”

“Be gentle, Zinna...” John ignored Robotnik and handed over little Liam to Zinnia.

“Of course!” The young woman held the baby close as she cooed. “Aww he’s so cute!” That unfortunately, prompted Robotnik to let out another outburst.

“Don't let it touch you! A newborn's immune system is weak so that child is a walking disease vector. ZINNIA'S BOYFRIEND! SAY SOMETHING!!”

“What?? It’s fine!” Theodore just gave Robotnik an amused look.

“Liam was born a few days ago, Robotnik, he's perfectly fine!!!” John shot back, smiling proudly.

The scientist growled in frustration before redirecting his attention towards Zinnia. “Fine! Just don't rupture your stitches!” Zinnia however, didn’t seem to pay attention to him as she cuddled the baby close. She noticed something very interesting. Little Liam had one blue eye and one dark brown eye. “Oohhh heterochromia! That’s neat!”

“Heh...Are you alright? What happened???” John worriedly questioned, causing Zinnia to stop smiling and turn gloomy all of a sudden. She looked to her boyfriend and he answered for her. “She got shot in an incident regarding the other Robotnik.”

“The coward fled. He couldn't bear to witness the consequences of his actions...” Robotnik seethed.

“A part of me thinks he’ll be back. After all, from what I’ve seen, you’re not one to give up easily...” Theodore shot the scientist a serious look.

“Oh bollocks. Sorry luv. Can I getcha anythin'?” John asked Zinnia, expressing his sympathy.

“Nothing really... I just want to go home...” Robotnik was quick to disagree with what she said.

“You're not safe there! He knows where you live!!”

“...I could kill 'im if ya need....” John offered, which Zinnia was highly against.

“...John please... I don’t want any bloodshed.”

“Alrigh'...” The mage sat down on a spare chair. “So...What are we gonna do? The bastard hurt my friend, he's gonna pay.”

Robotnik spoke in a grumbling voice. “Why don't you just call him and set him on fire?”

“I would, but since your the same person I'd need his DNA so I don't set you on fire. Lock of hair, fingerprint...”

“No, no. Please, no setting anyone on fire!” Zinnia frantically shook her head.

“Alright. C-can I have my son back...??”

“Oh,” The young woman noticed she still had Liam in her arms. “Of course!” She gently handed him over to John before turning her attention towards Robotnik, her expression determined. “Oh and just so you know, if I’m staying here, so is Teddy.”

“Hm? Oh, right. The boyfriend, of course he can stay here.” The doctor was surprisingly quick to agree.

“I have a name, you know.” Theodore shot him an annoyed look, while in the background, John was talking to Liam using a baby voice. “Hello little hellion. Who’s daddy's little hellion??”

“Of course you do! Anyway,” Robotnik turned towards John. “I'm sure whoever have birth to that child would like to see him, right? I'll have one of my agents show you out.”

“Bloody rude.” John grumbled but agreed to being escorted out, waving them goodbye.

Zinnia waved back before asking Robotnik a question that had been in her mind for a while. “Hey, I just remembered, what happened to that blue hedgehog?”

“Oh, well, he's under surveillance by Agents Sobel and Stone. We need him alive right now, I'm sure he's fine.”

“Last time I saw him, he was hurt pretty badly...” She remembered how he had suffered gunshot wounds, much like her.

“I have some vet technicians working on him. He'll be fine...” The scientist clenched his fist. “He'd better be, for their sake.”

“So... why do you want him alive?”

“The off-brand me has the ability to travel between dimensions, and so does the hedgehog. I'm going to track that bastard down and strangle him with my bare hands...”

“Okay...” The young woman hesitated a bit. “Do you know why the off-brand you was after me specifically?” She already knew but wanted to see what he’ll say.

“He's under the impression that he's going to make you love him. That alone is proof that his intellect is crippled compared to mine.”

“What... but why?...” Zinnia appeared to be deep in thought. “He and the me from that universe were together?”

“So he says.” Robotnik shrugged. “Honestly? I can't imagine any version of you who's stupid enough to fall in love with me. Maybe he’s making it up because he fell for you when he saw you.”

“Hmm...I don’t think he is. He wouldn’t have risked his life like that for something made up.” She suddenly looked at him with a teasing smile. “Are you saying that I’m smart?”

He smirked, feeling so much affection for her at that moment that he didn’t know what to do except pinch her cheek. “What if he made it all up on the spot when he first saw you? And of course you're smart! I don't hire idiots!!”

She giggled while lightly batting his hand away. “I doubt that. Why would anyone make something like that up. And mayhaps I’m not as smart as you say I am, considering I do...love you. Not like that, but as a friend...I do.”

Meanwhile, Theodore was silently watching their exchange with a raised eyebrow, his expression unreadable.

Robotnik was genuinely taken aback by what Zinnia said, and it showed. He literally had no idea how to handle that unknown emotion he was feeling. He hugged her briefly before he stood up and returned to his workstation. “I should let you get done rest. You've had a long day.”

Her smile fades a bit as she looked at him worriedly. “Hey, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable...”

“I'm... I'm not uncomfortable! I just have to ensure that the knockoff version of me doesn't hijack my machines again!”

“Oh! Right, he was able to take control over your drones. Same technology probably...” Zinnia appeared to be deep in thought. “I do wonder, what exactly happened to this other version of me. He told me that I don’t exist in that universe anymore...”

“I have a few ideas as to what happened, and all of them are his doing. I know myself, and by extension I know him better than he knows himself. That man is adrift in a sea of self-delusion.” He scoffed.

“But you’re not like that... Something terrible must’ve happened for him to become this desperate...” She sighed. “So anyway, I guess I should move my stuff to my old room here. The stuff which is back at my house...”

“Not until you're recovered! Or maybe Theo can do it. It's not like he's going to be abducted!”

“Yeah, I can bring all your stuff here. No worries” Theodore readily agreed.

“Oh, and you think I can maybe... get a room with a window this time?” Zinnia asked Robotnik a bit timidly, not knowing how he would react. “My previous one doesn’t have one and it can be a bit suffocating sometimes.”

“Of course you can! And it won't just be a studio apartment, either. I'll make sure that it's nice and homey for you!” The scientist was smiling, overjoyed at the thought of having Zinnia live under his roof again.

“Really?” The young woman smiled brightly. “That would be great, if it’s not too much trouble of course!”

“Of course it isn't! You can even let Theo live with you! And... that fucking bird...”

“Oh yeah! I think he’s with Emil right now. And... I get that you still have a grudge against him. I’m sorry once again that he bit you. But look on the bright side, now we have something we can use to differentiate between you and your other self!” She giggled.

<->-<->-<->-<->-<->

The next day, Zinnia was visited by Agent Stone. She got up from her bed to greet him. After doing so, he asked about Robotnik. “Has anyone seen the doctor? I don't think he's eaten in the past 24 hours and that's upsetting...”

“He hasn’t?? He’s been so worried about me lately. I feel kinda bad. Her boss was so busy looking after her, he neglected to take care of himself.

“Right--that other doctor shot you! Are you feeling better? ... Do you think there's another Agent Stone?”

“I’m much better. It still hurts a bit but other than that, I’m okay. Hmm I don’t know actually. There could be a possibility if there’s another me.” She answered.

“Two doctors... Imagine...” Stone looked lost in his thoughts all of a sudden, which caused Zinnia to give him a deadpan look.

“Stone... please stop.”

“Sorry! I wouldn't leave this dimension anyway, not since I'm finally allowed to talk to my daughter! She's a freshman at UC Berkeley!” Agent Stone said with pride in his voice.

Upon hearing that, Zinnia perked up looked at him curiously. “Oh really? I didn’t know you had kids. What’s her name?”

“Just the one. Her name is Sina Contreras. She, well, she took her mother's name. And that's fine!” He took an old photo out of his wallet. “She's grown so much since I took this picture of her...”

The young woman smiled brightly as she took a look at the photo. “Oh, she’s adorable!”

“She really is! And she lets me call her every week now. I finally was able to give her all of the letters I'd written to her all these years--”

“Agent Stone! What are you doing in here?! You're supposed to be guarding that blue rat!!” Robotnik barged into the room.

“That’s great! I’m so happy for you--” Zinnia’s attention turned towards her boss. “Oh hey, he was telling me that you haven’t eaten anything in a while.”

“Sorry, doctor! I'll just leave now...” And with that, Agent Stone left the room.

“Please do. And I've eaten! See all of those bottles over there?!” The scientist pointed to a bunch of empty Soylent bottles on his desk that he had set up in her room.

“What?? That’s not real food! I can cook something for you if you want.” She offered.

“YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR BED! What if you tear your stitches? What if you fall?! You!” He pointed at Theo as soon as he entered the room. “Tell her! You're the one who's her boyfriend!”

Said boyfriend sighed in mild exasperation. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit too overprotective?”

“Yeah...like there’s no need for all the cushion mats and stuff.” Zinnia gestured around her room. Earlier, Robotnik had ordered his custodians to put down cushioned mats on the floor and padding on all the corners, as if he was having the room baby-proofed.

“Of course not! She can do whatever the hell she wants! If "Doctor Theodore" says it's alright, you can run around as much as you want!” The scientist threw up his hands and walked out of the room, only to poke his head back in a minute later. “Just don't leave the compound yet, not until I'm standing over my dead lookalike with his blood dripping from my hands.” Then finally, he left, leaving Zinnia to stare after him with wide eyes.

The silence was broken by Theodore. “Well, that was...something.”

A few hours later, after everything had finally calmed down, Zinnia received a text message while she was laying in bed and just passing time on her phone. It was from the other Robotnik:

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia Zinnia, you’re alive! That bastard made me think you were dead! But you got shot... I’m so sorry.

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #2 It’s fine... I’m better now. But how did you find out...?

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia I saw you... with that infant... You have no idea how good it felt to see you in person yesterday, after so long...

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #2 Listen, I understand it was very difficult to lose your Zinnia but you have to understand that I’m not her.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia But you can be her. No, you are her.

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #2 I’m not! I don’t belong in your universe. My home is here.

Dr Ivo Robotnik To: Zinnia Here with that uptight British man who clearly doesn’t deserve you? With my other extremely more volatile self?! None of those people deserve you! I expect you to trust me and know that I know what’s best. I can look after you better than they can! That’s what I’m trying to do!

Dr Frost [left on read, feeling very scared indeed]

Dr Frost To: Dr Robotnik #1 He knows I’m alive. And that I’m here in your compound. I’m scared QwQ

Robotnik was in a room nearby, about to have a quick nap, but the moment he read Zinnia's text he was off the couch and back by her side in an instant. “He's insane if he thinks that he's going to bypass all of my automated defence systems! All of my private agents have been informed of the situation and if they see anyone who looks even a little like me then they're instructed to detain him if he can't supply them with the right passphrase. I'm going to issue your boyfriend a sidearm of his own in case I'm not here, okay? That lunatic will never get his hands on you!”

The young woman sighed sadly and nodded while sporting a very depressed expression. “So we just...wait now? I’m scared...”

"Hey..." Robotnik sat down on the bed next to her and took her hand. "We won't have to wait very long. I'm sure he has some idiotic plan to invade my compound, and he's a very rash and impatient man from what I've seen. When he finally shows his face and tries to use my own creations against me, we'll detain him and humanely dispose of him." he gave Theo a wink over Zinnia's head, and he didn't even attempt to hide the excitement he felt about the opportunity to kill his inferior self.

Zinnia looked up, still with that gloomy expression when she felt her hand being held by a larger one. She first thought it was Theodore but the feel of the glove suggested otherwise. She didn’t expect Robotnik to show this much affection towards her but then again, he’s been overly affectionate ever since she was abducted by him. She shuddered to think about the messages he sent her. She cleared her throat nervously and unconsciously squeezed his hand before speaking up. “You’re right. He has been... but he’s still basically you. He knows everything that you do. The odds right now... aren’t looking good.”

Theodore raised an eyebrow and gave the scientist an amused look but otherwise stayed silent and listened to whatever he had to say.

"He's in enemy territory though, and he knows that you don't want to leave with him. And what I've gleaned from taking with him makes me suspect that your interdimensional counterpart's demise might have been his fault. He probably lost his temper, or he treated her like an object even more than he does now... I know him better than he knows himself. Whatever his upbringing was, I can only assume that it wasn't quite like mine." His expression was grim. He didn't look at either of them. "Unlike him, I know what I am and what I'm capable of. I don't deny my true self."

“But...you don’t treat me badly,” Zinnia mumbled with a far-off in her eyes. “You both are identical...and yet different. I wonder exactly what lead him to become like this...”

Off in the distance, deep in the woods up in the mountains a few miles from Zinnia’s house was the other Robotnik. He had set up a temporary base, hidden within the mountains. Not many people travelled this far and even if some did, all they would see would be trees and land due to his cloaking device. And if for some reason they were to venture closer, his security drones would dispose of them.

The scientist himself was currently recovering from the injuries he had sustained during his fight with his other self and that strange Emil person. He has him to thank for his fractured ribs. While he recovered, he had successfully gained access into the other Robotnik’s security cameras. All his worries and rage dissipated, a soft smile replacing his frown as soon as he saw Zinnia in a hospital room, looking a bit weak and pale but alive. She was holding an infant. That image almost brought tears to his eyes as he was reminded of his late Zinnia who was expecting a child of their own. If he hadn’t screwed everything over, his Zinnia would be alive right now, along with their child. In fact, the child would be three years of age now...But he still has another chance to not only have Zinnia back but their child as well.

’So that bastard lied to me.’ His mind went to that moment when his other self made him believe that she died. Considering he and Zinnia aren’t together in this universe, he was not expecting the response the other one showed when he abducted her. And he loathed to admit that he was unprepared for it. Looks like he’d have to hop back to his universe and get everything he needed to prepare himself for the next time. Because there will be a next time. He will never give up until he has her.

===to be continued? OwO===

12 notes · View notes

lovedcult · 4 years ago

Text

happy birthday to the bestie @summerlost 💗💭 !!!!!!!!!!!!! jia. 🙈 what a crazy year it's been. all these memories we've made together. girl you crazy 😫but im not even about to put all that on tumblr 😂. congrats on another trip around the sun, im so proud of you ❤ love u girlie see u at the club LMFAOO😂❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉

( jk ur real bday message is under the read more ilu HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABEY )

literally me preparing this message just hours before ur birthday but i was determined to have it ready by the time it hit midnight for u so HERE I AM HELLO 🤍 going to try and make this letter heartfelt and cute because we never say things like this to each other but u really have become such an important person in my life in such a short time u just mean very much to me and i really do want you to know just wonderful and special u are to me !! we have only known each other ?? like 5 months ? is that right ? girl idk but within those 5 months we have managed to talk to each other like every single day except maybe 2 days isn’t that so crazy ? so i want to thank u for always keeping me company and crying over txt with me and just being such a warm source of happiness in my life, it really has been so wonderful to get to know you and to be ur friend 🤍

going to list some things that you’ve done for me that maybe you don’t know you’ve done for me but you deserve to know .. i know i said i was gonna get mushy here but good ness .. anyway it’s so nice to wake up to messages from u everyday and to go to sleep after talking to u all day and knowing that i will have a friend whenever i need it like fr i don’t know how we do it because i am usually so bad at communication rip ..... it has just always felt so easy to talk to you and we clicked right away and there was never a moment of awkwardness like there can be when first meeting someone which thank god . i’m more comfy with u than i have been with some friends i’ve known for 5+ years and i think that says a lot about our friendship as well as you as a person. we talk literally all the time and it just makes me so happy, i look forward to talking to u every day 💗 whether its about our ships or personal lives or random shite or my godson pumpkin it never matters to me, i am just so happy you are here and that i get to know you

did you know i like never listened to taylor swift before meeting u ? apart from that one time i saw her live in concert when i was like 12 but i don’t even remember that NSNSNSN but i’ll have you know the songs you’ve showed me are special to me now and i enjoy listening to them and she will now forever remind me of u! i have a tendency to try to get into things and like what my friends like so just know whenever you show me stuff i will file it in the heart shaped jia folder in my brain and keep it there forever. literally no matter what it is. tht goes for pacrim too that was so random but i became obsessed with it right after u showed it to me and i’ve actually watched it twice more after we watched it together <3 speaking of, i hope we can have more movie nights together or just cute lil kosmi dates in general because they are so fun and we have a watchlist piling up already so we should crack that open when we can … whenever ur nawt busy being a doctor or whatever

reminds me; do u remember that time i panicked because i ate burnt chicken nuggets and u told me i was gonna get c*ncer ? girl fun times NMDCNBJSAKFJSFJSDV just so you know i WILL be directing any of my future health concerns to u because i might just break otherwise bc i don’t know how to survive and we don’t want that i don’t think so glad i have a smart sexy big brain friend like u in my life

i hope you have a wonderful wonderful wonderful day today which you just might because it’s also txt comeback today ( u fuckin lucky bitch i cant believe they are obsessed with u ) you deserve it so much !! you work so hard all of the time and i know school can be stressful as well as life but i really am so proud of u because u are doing great things and it will all pay off. u are never alone through any of it either so when it gets too hard u will always have me beside u !!! promise !!!! i love u lots !!!!! even tho ur a gemini !!!! but ur my gemini !!!!!!!

also want to mention how just WONDERFUL it has been writing with u omg ??? we have 11 official plots going on rn as well as a bunch of unofficial ones and it has just been the loveliest experience getting to write and ship with u with every single one of them and it’s just been so fun. u are such a talented writer and u put so much effort and thought into all of ur muses which i immensely applaud u for. you should know this already though considering i am vocally in love with all of them ( when jungjae finally d words i will be coming to sweep up sooyeon i really dont care what u have to say its out of ur hands ? let it go ) … jia best rp partner .. i’ve never had a writing partner that gets so involved with our plots the way you do with me and shows the interest that you do and it means so very much to me, i feel very lucky and im forever thankful u messaged me the day u did and introduced urself because i am a scared bitch and probably would have just admired u from afar on the dash instead <3 i hope we can have 327234 more plots and ships in the future because u have managed to make each of them so special.

i feel like this letter is so all over the place but am i gonna go back in and make it prettier ? naur because im a mess writing it so ur getting the full heidy emotional love spill experience .. this is the first bday im spending with u so i had to write u this & let u know just how much u mean to me . literally thinking abt u all the time and am always hoping u are happy and having good days on the other side of the world <3 ur just that wonderful. thank u for being my friend beyond the rpc and i hope the future can bring us even closer together !!!! i love u so much stinky ( with affection ) stay sexy ......... <33333

us btw

#IDC IDC IDC ITS JIA DAY 🌷💭💗👭💌#IF U SEE THIS PLS GO SAY HAPPY BDAY 2 HER ...#this is an official holiday #sorry for tht drawing she is nawt an artist just a jia lover 🤍 those are frogs btw #this is so messy n i wanted to say so much more but :(#i hope u know u just mean the world to lil ole me!!!!! love u bff #perry to my doofenshmirtz #should this b ur tag ? 🙈

2 notes · View notes

heauxplesslydevoted · 5 years ago

Text

Could’ve Been (Rafael x MC)

Title Inspo: Could’ve Been - H.E.R feat. Bryson Tiller

Summary: Casey realizes that letting go of a relationship is harder than she thought

A/N: 1) Me? Writing an Open Heart fic that isn’t about Ethan? Shocking. 2) This would’ve been up much sooner had I not started watching Real Housewives (quality hour of television, btw) and gossiping with my mom.

Tags: @drakewalker04 @canknot @akacalliope @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ermidc @thatysn @paulfwesley @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker

~v~

The rest of the city is calm, despite how she feels. Casey Valentine is exhausted. She just got off of a 36 hour shift at the hospital, most of her body feels like dead weight, and she wants so badly to go to sleep, but her brain refuses to shut off.

She rolls over, nearly colliding with Rafael. Her boyfriend is sound asleep, and she'd be envious if she wasn’t so content with the image of him. She’s never said it about a guy before, but Rafael is so attractive, he borders on angelic at times. His smooth brown skin is illuminated by moonlight, his long eyelashes curl along the apples of his cheeks, his lips are slightly parted, and she can hear his tiny breaths pass through as he breaths, the muscles in his arms and legs are loose and relaxed. Her eyes travel the planes of his body, loosely covered by her sheets, leaving little to the imagination.

Casey sits up in bed, ignoring the sheet as it falls from her body, and simply stares at Rafael. Moments like this, moments of stillness and tranquility are so hard to come by considering their hectic jobs and lives, and now that she’s stumbled into one, she doesn’t want it to go to waste.

Unconsciously, her fingertips reach out to touch the few strands of hair that are dangling in front of his face, and she gently grazes his forehead in the process.

He whimpers slightly at the contact and Casey freezes, hoping he doesn’t stir any further. It doesn’t work, as Rafael’s eyes flutter open slowly, adjusting to the world of consciousness. After a few dazed moments, his eyes settle on Casey and a smile forms on his face.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You can wake me up anytime.”

“No, you were sleeping so peacefully. Trust me, I know how hard good sleep is to come by.”

“I can fall asleep again,” Rafael says, his voice still hoarse and thick.

“No need to brag about it, Superman,” Casey teases.

Rafael chuckles softly at the nickname. He rolls over and wraps an arm around his girlfriend’s waist and pulls her in closer to him. She revels in his warmth. He was always her personal heater, his body running warmer than she’s used to with other people.

“Why are you up, my little insomniac?” Rafael asks, running a hand through Casey’s hair. Craning his head slightly, he sees the time on the alarm clock. 2:18 AM.

“I can’t sleep.”

“What’s up? Is work okay? Is sad or outlandish cases plaguing your dreams?”

“No. I’m actually on a winning streak at work.”

She can’t put her finger on it, but she can’t shake the anxiousness building in the pit of her stomach. There’s no justification for the feeling, and that’s the annoying part.

“Do you think you’re nervous about officially joining the diagnostics team?”

While she still had a few more months left in her intern year, it’d be over before she knew it.

“Maybe.”

“Well whatever it is, I hope it goes away soon,” Rafael continues.

“Me too. But in the meantime, you need to get back to sleep. What time do you need to be up for your shift?”

“7:30,” he answers. His fingers find her back and he strokes the soft skin along her spine. Casey shivers at the contact and moves closer to him, as if that’s even possible. She swings her leg over his, the heel of her foot coming in contact with his calf, as if she wants to test out just how intertwined they can be.

Maybe it’s her nervous energy, maybe it’s because she’s bone tired and wants to be cuddled like a spoiled toddler, or maybe it’s a combination of both, but the urge to cling to Rafael is overwhelming. Not necessarily sexually—though she’ll never not have sex with him if that’s what it turned into—but she craves the intimacy of his touch, the warmth of his body, his scent, all of him.

The pad of her thumb touches his jaw, drawing lazy circles. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but you’re beautiful.”

“No one has ever called me beautiful before,” Rafael admits, and Casey can see a scarlet blush creeping onto his skin at the compliment.

“Well you are. I’m going to start saying it more.”

“I like it,” Rafael murmurs before capturing her lips in a kiss. She parts her lips, a silent invitation for him to deepen it, which he happily accepts. She hums in appreciation as his tongue finds purchase in her mouth, pushing, exploring, and his hands, simultaneously rough and gentle, finally settle at her side.

Her heart speeds up, and for a second there, she’s sure it stops beating altogether. Being with Rafael might be something she never fully gets used to. No matter how familiar he is, her body and mind still react like he’s something so pure and so rare.

After a while, he finally breaks the kiss, and she’s buzzing, dizzy and delirious, like she’s drunk on him. She doesn’t know how he has this effect on her, but she doesn’t mind.

After what feels like forever, Casey breaks the kiss and pulls back. They lock eyes and she’s pulled in, his brown orbs reminiscent of dark chocolate.

It’s in this moment that Casey Valentine realizes she’s stupidly and irrevocably in love with Rafael Aveiro. It’s all consuming and burns her from the deepest parts of her core, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

The confidence and security that comes with the realization tears at her defenses, lowering her guard. Whatever anxiousness she felt earlier dissipates as time ticks on. She doesn’t have time for that, not when she’s in the arms of the man she loves.

She must have a crazy look on her face, because Rafael gently squeezes her. “You okay? Why are you staring at me like that?”

The three words are on the tip of her tongue, but she swallows them. Instead, Casey kisses him once more. “Again, just admiring.” She yawns. “Let’s go to bed.”

“You think you’ll be able to go to sleep now?”

She nods and smiles giddily at him. “Positive.”

~v~

Casey startles herself awake, a cold sweat covering her skin. She pants, a hand flying to her chest to calm her beating heart.

“Raf, I–”

The words die on her tongue as she realizes that she’s in bed alone.

It comes flooding back to her. Sora came waltzing back into town, and Rafael broke up with her, saying he needed to see if there was still something there. She scoffs. Because stupid high school girlfriends still carry that much weight in your late 20s.

The memories cut Casey like a million tiny razor blades, piercing her skin and exposing her to the harshness of the real world. A chill settles in her bones, and she wraps herself in her thick comforter. It’s not enough, and it doesn’t compare to Rafael’s embrace in the slightest.

She’s done a decent job of compartmentalizing. She’s curt with him at work, she avoids group interaction, she got rid of all of his clothes shoved deep in her closet and her drawers. She doesn’t allow herself to think of Rafael.

And her stupid subconscious ruined it.

Now that the floodgates are open, he’s all she can think about. Where is he now? How are his grandparents doing? Do they like Sora? Do he and Sora pillow talk in the middle of the night, sharing secrets and talking about their days? Does he let her wake him up at all hours?

She should’ve told him she loved—loves, it’s still very much present tense—that night. If he knew how she felt, maybe they’d still be together. She should’ve had sex with him that night, if she knew it was going to be their last one together. She wouldn’t have done laundry and changed her sheets the next day because right at this moment, she’d do anything to smell him on her sheets again. Maybe that’s why she was so on edge: her intuition knew the breakup was coming, but the rest of her was blissfully unaware.

Casey allows the facade to drop, and the regret and ‘should’ve/could’ve/would’ve’s’ invade her brain for a minute. Up until now, she’s refused this, the mourning for her relationship with Rafael, because she knew she’d break.

Tears fall from her eyes quicker than she can blink them away. She doesn’t want to cry. She isn’t ready to open up that gaping wound the size of Texas that’s in the center of her chest because of this.

Before she can stop herself, she rolls over and grabs her cell phone, unplugging it from the charger. It’s incredibly late at night/early in the morning, but Casey doesn’t dwell on the time. Instead she scrolls through her contacts until she finds his name. There are no cutesy nicknames, no string of emojis, just a simple R. Aveiro.

Her thumb hovers above the screen for a long time, long enough for the doubt to settle in. She’s making a mistake, right? No one in their right mind is pathetic enough to call their ex in the middle of the night, especially sober.

Deciding she has nothing else to lose, Casey says fuck it, and calls anyway.

It takes 3 rings for Rafael to answer.

“Hello?”

Her breath catches upon hearing his voice. She just woke him up with this call, she can tell by the sound of his voice. Sleepy Rafael is easily one of her favorites.

She’s so caught up, it’s easy to forget that he’s still on the line and she hasn’t said a word.

“Hello? Casey, is that you?”

Casey counts silently in her head before nodding. “It’s me.”

“It’s almost 4 AM,” Rafael says.

Her cheeks burn at the statement. The embarrassment that she dismissed a few short minutes ago is present and in full force now.

“Is everyone okay?”

She misses when they were able to talk late at night with no pretense. There didn’t need to be an emergency with their friends. They were just Rafael and Casey.

“Y-yeah, everyone is okay,” she answers.

“Are you okay?”

No, she thinks. “I’m great.” Fucking liar.

“Okay.”

There’s an awkward pause on the line, and Rafael yawns. He sighs heavily and she can feel it in her bones that he’s about to hang up on her.

“I’m sorry for calling,” she starts, “I just...I don’t know, I guess I just missed hearing your voice.”

“And I’m sorry for unloading this all on you right now,” Casey continues. “But if I didn’t talk to you, I’d probably have a panic attack.”

“It’s fine, Case. I’m still your friend, you can wake me up anytime.”

Those are the same words he said to her during their last sleepover, and this time, she doesn’t try to fight the tears falling from her eyes. Maybe he said it on purpose, maybe it’s a sign from the universe that things will eventually be okay, or maybe it means absolutely nothing. Whatever the case, it sends her into a tailspin.

She wants to scream at him for being so dense. That's not good enough, it’ll never be good enough. She doesn’t want to be his fucking friend, she wants to be with him. She wants to fall asleep in his embrace, and wake up next to him. She wants things to go back to the way they were.

Her throat constricts and aches at the effort she’s putting into not sobbing into the speaker.

“Are you still there, Casey?” Rafael asks, concern laced through his voice.

“I’m still here.” If he hears her voice crack, he doesn’t bring notice to it, and she’s glad. “Again, sorry for bothering you. I have the early morning shift at work, so I should really get to bed.”

“Oh, of course.”

She’s caught in an awkward limbo of wanting to get off the phone as soon as possible, as if to save herself from anymore humiliation, but at the same time, she’s afraid to hang up on him.

“Can you be the one to hang up?” She pleads. “I can’t bring myself to do it.”

Rafael swallows thickly on the other line. “Sure thing. Goodnight, Casey.”

“Goodbye, Rafael.” The finality of the words is staggering, and she’s shocked she actually managed to spit them out. She sniffles quietly.

But he doesn’t rush to end the phone call. Time drags on for a while and they both sit in comfortable silence. It becomes apparent that Casey isn’t the only one having a hard time letting go, and the fact brings her a tiny slice of solace.

But like all good things, the moment comes to an end. Saying goodnight once more, Rafael hangs up and the call ends with a resounding click.

And just like that, it’s over.

Whoever came up with the concept of closure is full of shit, because now Casey feels worse than she did before.

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #open heart #open heart 2 #rafael aveiro #rafael aveiro x mc

84 notes · View notes

shibalen · 4 years ago

Note

[1/3]🍁Hello! I'd love a [ 𑁍 ] and [ ♫︎ ] matchup for Hetalia! I'm a Virgo, INFJ, she/her, and if you'd like you may call me Lilly! I'm very shy, reserved, and awkward when approaching new people, frankly judgemental with them. First impressions are sort of everything to me. So if I have an idea about someone, it sticks. It'll take a bit to convince me otherwise. I don't trust easily, I'm very stubborn. I have anxiety, and tend to fidget when in uncomfortable situations.

[2/3]🍁Once I've found someone I can trust or I even feel is worth of my time as a friend or otherwise, I cherish completely. I'm very protective over the people I care about, I do anything in my power to accommodate them if I can and do my best to provide advice whenever they need it. I'm the 'mom' friend. Once someone truly gets to know me I break more so out of my shell, I'm much more bold and open. Intense some may say. I can get pretty chaotic when I'm 100% in my element.

[3/3]🍁I'm pretty affectionate with those I let into my life.I hate PDA, I hate being touched in public,or without permission.I most definitely hate pet names like 'babe' or 'baby' it makes me very uncomfortable,though 'darling' or 'dear' is much more acceptable to me.I love to joke with people,though I have a very strange sense of humor.I am a little needy with those I love,I have a some abandonment issues.I'm quite the control freak,with some minor anger issues.I love to write, read, and bake!

♡︎ matchup for @lunar-calliope

hello, dear! aah i'm also a virgo and an infj btw, what a coincidence c: i hope you enjoy your matchup!

hetalia: i match you with . . .

arthur kirkland !!

• Arthur is in love with your bold actions and choice of words! getting into a relationship with him means having to deal with honest and sharp-tongued comments. in other words, he needs someone who can keep up with him, aka you.

• you both prefer being reserved, looking for deeper connections with people instead of many half-baked friendships. you also understand each other very well, considering you both play the role of the responsible one in the group when you have the potential to be the most chaotic of them all in the right circumstances.

• you're also oddballs when it comes to your sense of humor. when you're joking around everyone just gives you confused looks while y'all are laughing your heads off. sarcasm, witty inside jokes etc. σ`∀´)σ

• it just seems to me you'd be on the same wavelength from personality to interests. you're the type of couple that gives the other one glance and the latter will immediately know what it means.

• i would love to think you met Arthur in a very elegant manner, where he was at his best gentlemanly behaviour. but we know the truth is that you caught him in the middle of one of his gremlin moments and swearing bloody hell at Francis (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

• not the best first impression, no, so you decided to have as little interaction with him as possible. but i think he was one of the few people who managed to change their image of them in your head. underneath that rough exterior he truly wanted to get closer to you.

• despite being quite distant, once Arthur opens up and lets you in he will cherish you for the rest of time! he has already lost so many important people in his life, he refuses to lose you too. . .

• this means that although you're rather stubborn, a bit temperamental and might get into heated arguments sometimes, you know the other well enough to acknowledge that's just how you are. give it a few hours or a day at max and Arthur is silently paying you'd accept his apology.

• Arthur himself is more into subtle but sweet displays of affection rather than showing off. he prefers going the traditional way and get you get you flowers, for example. also acts of service such as helping you clean the house or brush your hair are some things he highly values ♡︎

• when you show your affection to him, on the other hand, he might get huffy because he's not used to being treated with such open affection. he loves it and never wants you to stop.

• i am begging, please teach him how to bake. after your baking sessions together i imagine you two sitting in the garden and drinking tea. on the tray there would be a set of beautiful scones and muffins (yours) right next to the burnt bundles of unidentified matter (his).

• introduces you to his fantasy friends (though you can't really see them oof) and teaches you magic. now there's some writing inspiration for you! plus, he's very much into literature so he happily reads your works and gives you encouragement ♡︎

• a very assuring and supportive lover overall! though not always the best with words he never fails to make you feel loved. you can trust him to be there when anxiety gets particularly bad although it's the little things he does that make it easier to get through the days.

• your dates include afternoon tea times, reading sessions while comfortably leaning against one other and music playing in the background, museum dates, strolls through cities and countrysides, and concerts ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

that one summer evening when you were walking back from a date. you had insisted you'd go on foot instead of taking a cab because of the crisp air and beautiful sky. Arthur was still a little nervous because it was one of your first dates so you generously switched the topic from classic literature to light banter. the atmosphere became lighter, so much even that you ended up playfully shoving each other until you both ended up in the nearby pond. you were soaking wet but laughing nevertheless. for Arthur, that expensive suit was definitely worth it.

— favourite activity to do together:

i love the idea that you're both always teaching each other something so i have to say that's what he enjoys best as well. you teach him how to make perfect cake batter, he teaches you embroidery. you teach him how to write your favourite genre, he tells you about the world of rock and punk music. it's fulfilling and a way to spend quality time with you ♡︎

— favourite place to kiss you:

ack this man loves nothing more than kissing your fingers and knuckles. there is just something so enchanting about them even as he watches you flip a page of a book or decorate muffins. although it's a common gesture of courtesy it has grown to have a very special meaning for the two of you.

— favourite nicknames for you:

darling, dear, love, sweetheart. these come as no surprise but Arthur does really find them fitting for you, sweet and classy. he sometimes adds my and your name to the beginning to emphasise the deep meaning they hold. "Lilly, my dear, won't you put down the pen and take a break with me? The weather is lovely, how about a stroll?"

— favourite thing about you:

how reserved but fun you are. how do i explain this? Arthur is someone whose personality has many layers and so are you. you are a complex person who can appreciate that trait in him as well instead of getting turned off when he displays the rougher side of himself. so your understanding, trust, commitment? i think you catch my drift (◕ᴗ◕✿)

♫︎ music box

— I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry

— Help! by The Beatles

— I'd Die For You by Bon Jovi

— Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

— Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

♡︎ runner up: Toris Lorinaitis

that is all! thank you so much for requesting and being patient with my slow butt! please remember to take time off to relax and drink water ♡︎

#len's matches #matchups #anime matchups #hetalia matchups #lunar-calliope

7 notes · View notes

hubbytaeil · 5 years ago

Photo

Requests: 1) anon: My all time favorite song is “You’ve got the love” by Florence and the Machine and my bias is Yuta! Btw, I really like your writing style☀️

2) @kinokinokino-kino may i please submit a request with hotel owner! yuta~??

a/n: sorry this took so long, I didn’t want to post too much in respect of the recent events. Also please remember to help in any way that you can.

Genre: romance, fluff, slight smut

Characters: hotel owner! Yuta x waitress!Female reader

Song: You’ve got the love - Florence + The Machine

Summary: your most affectionate client turns out to be someone you never would’ve expected.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"

But you've got the love I need

To see me through

You had been working as a waitress at the Moto Hotel for almost four months. Despite the load of work that they would put on you, you were always considered one of the most hard-working people in the entire building. Heck, you had been awarded as ‘employee of the month’ twice in a row! However, trying to keep up with the incredibly high standards that you’d had inevitably brought on to yourself was starting to get in the way of your college life. You would find yourself forcing your eyes open during lectures and the moment your body would lie the mattress after a night shift, instead of falling asleep, you would feel more awake than ever. A part of you wanted to quit and just concentrate on your grades, but you knew that was the only way of every getting through college. One could say, you were stuck at a dead end.

That night was no different than any other, as you rubbed your eyes carefully, trying not to mess up your eyeliner. Order after order you would fake a smile in front of all the clients, and pray for the shift to end soon. “Y/n, table number 27 is back… and he’s asking for you.” You felt a knot forming in your throat, even though you were used to hearing those words. “Can you cover number 43 and 67 for me then?”. You had absolutely no idea who the man who sat alone at table 27 was. But he must have been someone important in the hotel, perhaps an executive, judging by the position of the table. Ever since your first day at work, he’d had requested to be served only by you. The reason behind this specific wish was unknown to the staff, and when your colleagues told you about it you felt a little uncomfortable. What does he want from me? Soon you came to realise that he was far from the man that you had imagined. Every time you would greet him with a “Good evening sir, may I take your order?” his severe expression muted into a warm smile that you would never admit, would make your heart skip a few heartbeats. As time passed his presence in the large hall towered by breath-taking chandeliers felt familiar and the smiles you gave back to him were not faked anymore. Soon, you were getting to know each other between an appetizer and a first course. He would ask you about college, about your favourite genre of music, about your favourite dish and you would do the same. Him being there, always sitting at the same table, always waiting for you with sparkling eyes felt like the only fixed element in your messy life. He knew your name, but he couldn’t tell you his for reasons he couldn’t ‘disclose’. “But sir, it definitely feels weird to call a regular costumer such as yourself just by a number.” One night you replied boldly and he just smirked. “The number will do for now, y/n” and then he winked. He was amused by your bashfulness as you walked away.

“It’s great to have you back sir. How were the Bahamas?” “Absolutely fantastic, too bad I couldn’t enjoy it too much, too busy with work and all.” “I’m sorry about that sir, but may I say that you’ve come back with a lovely tan.” A silent ‘oh’ formed on his lips, followed by a chuckle. “Thank you, y/n. But what about you? I hope you did not pull an all nighter again.” the man asked in a concerned tone. “Finals are soon, and I have terrible time management skills, sir.” You both suffocated a laughter to not be heard by the nearing clients. “You should relax from time to time, you know?” you just nodded as you grinned. You enjoyed how you could joke with each other like this, as if you and him possessed your own little world in that crowded place. “What are you doing after the shift?” his words caught you so off guard that you almost spilled the very expensive Pinot Grigio you were pouring him. “Uhm- I’m… I guess I’ll go… to sleep?” you face palmed yourself mentally. He looked at you lovingly while you were trying to avoid his gaze at all costs. “After your shift, would you like to go out on the town with me?” your eyes lit up, both with surprise and pleasure. You knew that he wouldn’t have insisted if you refused, and yet you agreed without much doubt. “But I have a request, sir.” “Tell me everything, my dear.” You shivered at the nickname he’d never used before. “Am I allowed to ask for your name if we’re going out together?” He pondered for a few moments, staring at the wine glass in front of him then his shaky eyes rapidly went around the great hall. “I guess there’s no point in being so secretive now, uh?” the man asked as his gaze went back to you once again. He gestured at you with his finger, telling you to come closer. You slowly lowered yourself, fearing someone might be looking. He finally spoke. “My name is Nakamoto Yuta. ” You couldn’t believe your ears as you stood there incredulous. The man who you had been serving for months, who you had told all about your struggles, the man who had listened so attentively at every single word than went past your lips, that very same man was no other than the owner of the Hotel you worked in. You had only heard about him, but no one ever would have imagined the owner to dine in the same place so often. You didn’t know what to feel, or say, or do. He spoke first to save you both from the embarrassment. “How about you meet me in front of the main entrance? I’ll be waiting in my car.” You swallowed vainly and just nodded walking back into the kitchens.

Sometimes it seems the going is just too rough

And things go wrong no matter what I do

Now and then it feels that life is just too much

But you've got the love I need

To see me through

Completely unprepared, you found yourself in a very fancy jazz bar, having cosmopolitans with your newly discovered boss. To say that felt underdressed wouldn’t be enough, but Yuta reassured that you looked beautiful either way. Normally you would have embraced the compliment with a smile or a joke, however you felt the need to refrain yourself. Yuta could see right through your emotions and slowly let his hand rest next to yours on the glass table, without touching. “Does knowing who I am make you uncomfortable, y/n?” you gathered all your courage and forced yourself to look back at him. “I wouldn’t say that exactly… but it’s definitely something I wasn’t expecting.” As you ended your sentence ended, his hand was getting closer, until his index finger ghosted over the back of your hand. Once again, you had forgotten how to breath in and out. “I’m so sorry for not telling you, but I didn’t want you to treat me differently. And I wouldn’t complain if, knowing all of this, you’d want to get up and leave.” Before his hand could find its way back on his side of the table, you stopped it by placing your palm on his. Soon after that you were tracing shapes along his knuckles, making him shiver to your surprise. “But I don’t want to leave.”

In the weeks that followed you two would go out more and more often, every evening with him felt like walking on clouds. Yuta was eager to impress you, for instance he loved seeing your face light up while tasting a foreign dish you’d never tried before. You, on the other hand, loved hearing him speak and he was always ready to answer your questions. You got to learn more about him, how he turned his dreams into solid reality through hard work and patience. You admired him for being so humble considering how much he had, but most importantly, considering what a gentle and caring person he was.

One night Yuta convinced you to show him your tiny studio apartment; even if you had refused many times to let him see it, you eventually gave in. As he was taking off his shoes, you rushed inside to check if everything was in order, which thankfully it was. “It’s very intimate, I have to say” Yuta commented while looking around. You felt your face turning hot at his words. “I’m sorry. I- ““Sorry for what? I like it, it has style. Just like you.” You let out a soft chuckle in response, still not completely used to him being so open around you. As you two sipped cold beers in front of the kitchen isle, hours felt like minutes.

It was so nice to have Yuta around you; a few times you had wondered if other people could see the golden halo around him like you did. His presence was enough for you to make any place feel like home. It was always like this with Yuta, even while making love, it didn’t matter how close you held each other, how deeply he kissed you, or how loud you would yell his name; it was never enough. That night as he held you on top of him on your small screechy bed, Yuta told you he loved for the first time; you were more than ecstatic to say it back as you held him to your chest and kissed the top of his head “You love me?” “I do. I love you. Oh, dear God, I love you so much, Yuta.” These phrases flowed like waterfalls from you one after the and he let himself bathe in your confession. You’d never felt so safe lying in the arms of someone, someone who did not resemble at a human being. No, Yuta must have been a fallen angel sent from above who you would’ve followed to the ends of the Earth. Or at least he looked like one when he would fall asleep before you. You observed him as his chest rose at a steady rhythm, you let your fingers gently draw invisible lines on his arm, his neck, his jawline, wondering how one could be capable of so much love. “Why are you staring? Was I snoring?” whispered Yuta with a tired voice, opening only one eye to look at you. “No darling, you weren’t snoring. I’m sorry I woke you up.” You answered as you placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Let’s go back to sleep.” Yuta just hummed in response as you placed your head next to his on the pillow, facing him as you fell sound asleep.

When food is gone you are my daily meal

When friends are gone, I know my savior's love is real

Your love is real

You got the love

You've got the love

45 notes · View notes

jksmoongf · 5 years ago

Text

Kissing Fire [pt. 11]

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x girlfriend (oc) Genre: cheater!AU, angst, smut Wordcount: 11.4k Warning: smut, lies, heartbreak and more lies and maybe fluff if you squint

Summary: It always feels like there is only one person in the world to love. And then you find somebody else.

a/n: I don’t condone cheating on your s.o., so please don’t read if you have a problem with this! (also I’m not saying this is something Jungkook would actually do!) **a/n: thank you for your patience, angels! 💗 It’s been a while and I hope anyone still reads this <3 (also idk what happened to the og upload but it was kinda weird -.-) I’m also dedicating this chapter to my sweet @struggleofarmy!!! You helped me so much and without you, I probably wouldn’t have finished it! thank you for everything! 💗 ily Warning chapter 11: none, it’s just an angsty mess!!! (profanities, maybe?)

Jungkook closed the microwave door on the leftover food; her eyes glued to his pretty face as his lips puckered into a kissy-shape, trying to set the temperature and the time before pressing the start button. He turned around, locking eyes with her. “We have exactly 3 minutes and 45 seconds.” He wiggled his brows but a strange feeling of embarrassment washed over her, making her cheeks flush that he caught her staring. “Noona, do I have something on my face?” Jungkook mused, mouth curving upwards into a smile. Shaking her head no, she hoped the color would soon disappear from her face. “So where were we before you said you were hungry?” He closed the distance between them quickly, trapping her between his body and the counter. The warmth that radiated off him as his face got closer and closer with every blink, made her feel all fuzzy as his fingertips gently trailed up her arms, over her shoulders and up her neck until he cupped her face. The pads of his thumbs softly caressing her skin when his lips ghosted over her own. She knew this was supposed to be a sweet and tender moment shared between just the two of them but she just couldn’t help herself. She crashed her lips onto Jungkook’s; feeling the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth while she so desperately tried to get a taste of him. Her hands tangled in his messy dark hair, pulling him closer to her as their tongues gently nestled against each other. He sighed into her mouth when her fingers gently scratched over his scalp. Maybe, just maybe, they could ditch the food and go back to his room for a little while and just indulge in a heavy make-out session where she was sure he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself for more than a few seconds.

But the repeated beeping of the microwave made them separate sooner than expected.

With a groan, she blindly reached for her phone next to the pillow where she had placed it after being on FaceTime with Jungkook just hours ago. She knew that in the morning, she would regret not listening to him when he repeatedly told her to sleep and get plenty of rest before work.

But talking to him was so much more important than sleeping; she just loved listening to him talk about his day, especially after an exciting event like the night before. Sometimes, it scared her that he was often surrounded by pretty girls who were a lot more talented than she was; leaving her to wonder why he had chosen her instead of someone who perfectly understood all his struggles. But at the end of the night he called her to whisper sleepy I love you’s or FaceTime until they both fell asleep.

[Jungkook - 4:12am]

Ah noona, I already miss you! Sleep well and have a good day at work! Text me whenever you can! Can’t wait to see you when your shift is over! I love you (∩˃o˂∩)♡

Her grip tightened around the phone, pressing it to her chest, she kicked her legs and muffled a squeal into the plush bunny he had given her. Jungkook was always so sweet; he must have known how happy it would make her to be waking up to a text from him but after reading the text over and over, her eyes darted to the time on top of the screen.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” She cursed under her breath, trying to free herself from the confinement of the two blankets and the robe she was wearing. In a hurry she put on her work uniform and got ready to leave, running just a few minutes late.

Shoving the last bite of a banana into her mouth; she put on her denim jacket before slipping on her black patent-leather shoes with the small dainty gold buckle.

As if the devil himself was chasing her down the street, she ran as fast as she could to catch her train to Hongdae and just in time she squeezed through the door right as it was about close, the hem of her skirt almost getting caught.

She leaned against the door on the opposite side, catching a glimpse of her reflection. The wind had caused a few strands of hair to get loose, making her bun look messy. While trying to tuck the hair back to where it belonged, she pulled out her phone, finally having enough time to reply to Jungkook.

[y/n - 10:33 am]

I miss you too, Kookie! My shift ends at 6pm so I can come over after. I’ll bring food for you and the boys! Just let me know what you want, you know I get a discount so don't hold back! I love you too!

[y/n - 10:35M]

Btw, I should have listened to you when you told me to sleep. I’m so tired but also so excited to see you later. I hope you slept well, baby!

After locking the screen, she let her eyes wander around the cart. A group of teenage girls, all gathered around one phone caught her attention.

“Is that really him? It can’t be.” One of them whispered-yelled, immediately covering her mouth with her hands after one of her friends slapped her arm and scolding her.

“Of course it is him. It’s his voice and those are definitely his hands. Haven’t you seen the other one?”

The vibration, signaling a new text, made her flinch at first but her heart started racing, only to be disappointed that it wasn’t Jungkook - just a coworker sending a meme to the group chat. Yet, she went back to his chat, carefully scanning the messages she had sent to him - they had not been delivered yet. Reminding herself that he sometimes put his phone on airplane mode so nobody would disturb his slumber.

Four hours had passed and she was finally on her break, sitting in the small back room where they kept their personal belongings during shifts.

Her heart sank when she saw that Jungkook still had not replied; it was unlike him to keep her waiting for so long. At this hour, he surely wouldn’t still be asleep, not when he had moaned about having to go to a company meeting today. Even her attempts at calling him were left unanswered; the calls going straight to voicemail.

A whirlwind of panic started to stir up in her stomach; what if he changed his mind and didn’t want to see her anymore? The past few days had been so chaotic and draining that she couldn’t silence the small voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that it was all too good to be true.

Nails clicking on the screen; she hastily pulled up Taehyung’s chat.

[y/n - 2:12pm]

Tae (: do you know where Jungkookie is? I wanted to ask him about editing a pic for me but he’s not responding to my messages. I’ll see you later <3

“Y/n, Myung-Jun hyung says your lunch is ready! Come eat.” With a sigh, she followed her coworker to the kitchen, sitting down at the small table for the restaurant staff. It was odd that she was so worried about Jungkook not replying, but the uneasy feeling that something wasn’t right anchored itself in her chest.

Halfheartedly she picked at the food in front of her; maybe she was overreacting and Jungkook had just forgotten to turn airplane mode off or he left in a rush, leaving his phone at the dorms. Either way, she had her mind set on checking up on him after her shift.

Jungkook’s bare feet made the floor creek as he entered the living room, the hushed conversations he had faintly been hearing on his way, immediately died down. His brothers looking at him like he was a species from a different planet, not one of them looking happy to see him.

“Sit.” Yoongi gestured towards a chair from the kitchen table that they had put out, just for him apparently - making him feel like he was a police interrogation. “Management will be here any minute now.”

Jungkook gave a small nod, sitting down on the wooden chair. He knew the heating was on but the room seemed to be freezing cold when no warm laughter filled the air and every single one of the member's faces seemed to be laced with concern.

“Can I have my phone back?” His eyes were focused on the electronic device on the coffee table, still not understanding why they took it from him to begin with. He just wanted to see if y/n had texted him; maybe talk to her on the phone for a bit during her break- longing to hear her voice and the sweet coos of his nickname. Not talking to her for almost seven hours, seemed like torture to him now that they were finally able to be together and be happy.

“No, we were told not to give it to you.” Seokjin said calmly, his index finger tapping on the armrest of the sofa in a familiar rhythm.

Letting out a frustrated groan, Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“You know I’m not a kid anymore, you can’t just take my stuff from me like you’re my parents.” His bottom lip jutted out into a small pout; contradicting his previous statement perfectly.

“Oh, it is very apparent that you’re not a kid anymore…” Hoseok scoffed under his breath but before Jungkook could answer, he heard the front door open and manager Sejin’s voice echoed from the hallway.

“Change the code and then join us in the living room.”

Jungkook always admired how tall his favorite manager was but the grim expression on his face made his usual soft eyes, dark and a little scary. “Perfect, you’re all here.”

“Taehyung is in his room. I’ll go get him.” Jimin jumped over the back of the sofa and rushed down the corridor.

“Then we’ll wait.” Sejin sat down next to Namjoon, who had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay any attention to the things that were happening around him, only snapping out of his thoughts momentarily to mumble a greeting.

Jimin knocked on the door, only seconds later Ha-na’s muffled voice indicated that it was okay for him to come in. At the sight of his best friend sitting cross-legged on the bed, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve, his heart cramped up painfully.

Ha-na had her arm wrapped around her boyfriend’s shoulders, holding his left hand tightly in her own, whispering softly in his ear.

“Management is here to talk to Jungkookie, Sejin-nim wants you to come, too.” He said quietly, when the younger one looked up with puffy eyes, the tip of his nose red from crying.

“I don’t want to…I just want to stay here…” He was about to lie down and pull the duvet over his body when Ha-na stopped him.

“I’ll come with you and if it gets too much, we can just go back to your room, okay, baby?” She said softly, cupping his face, to dim the flow of tears for a second with her thumbs.

“Ha-na, I’m sorry but you can’t come. It’s just…”

She nodded. “No, I get it. Just the group and management.” Pulling Taehyung to his feet, she grabbed Jimin’s wrist. “Just go with Jimin-ah, he’ll make sure you’re doing alright.”

“Of course I will.” Jimin gently took Taehyung’s much larger hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze.

“But I don’t wanna see him…” The hurt in his voice made Jimin’s eyes tear up. A few hours earlier when he had found out from Hoseok what had happened during the night, he knew that Taehyung would take it the hardest - two of the people he was closest to, had been shamelessly lying to his face for months, completely shattering every ounce of trust he used to have in them.

“You can just look at me the entire time, okay?” Ruffling his hair, he finally managed to pull Tae into the living room, where the air felt suffocatingly thick, making it hard to take deep breaths.

“Hyung,” Jungkook addressed Tae who looked like he had been crying. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”

Did something happen to Taehyung? Why had he been crying? Jungkook just didn’t understand what was happening; why was nobody telling him why they all looked so worried?

Finally, Sejin cleared his throat - he was sitting closest to Jungkook, resting his elbows on his knees.

“All of you know why we are here…” He addressed the room, while the other members silently nodded, the youngest vehemently shook his head, making the manager adjust his position to face him.

“I’m not here to tell you what to do, the boss wants to speak to you tomorrow in person about all of this. I’m just here to inform you of the next steps we’re going to take.”

“For goodness sake, what have I done?” He asked, feeling the blood in his veins starting to boil out of frustration of being left in the dark.

“You didn’t tell him?”

“N-no, we thought it would be best if you told him…” Namjoon said quietly, not making eye contact with Jungkook, who so desperately needed comfort and reassuring from his older brother.

The leader’s demeanor worried him, Namjoon was usually the first to speak up about any concerns he had - never afraid to voice what was going on in his head to his members. Now that he was keeping quiet; buried underneath a smothering mountain of thoughts, he wasn’t able to handle the situation like he always did.

“Jungkook-ah..” Sejin pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen a few times before handing it to him. “That is you, correct?”

Jungkook’s body turned to stone, his insides twisted in an abundance of knots, uncertain whether he would ever be able to untie them again. Heart hammering against his ribcage; his vision got blurry as he stared at the phone, watching the video he filmed in that hotel room. His own moans blaring from the tiny speaker, repulsed him, forcing bile up his esophagus.

“Jungkook! Ya!” Hoseok snapped his fingers, trying to get the youngest attention when the next video started playing.

“I-I-… h-how?” He muttered, watching himself go down on y/n.

“We don’t know. We have people trying to take the videos down and find out who put them on the internet.” Sejin took the phone from him.

“Once it’s on the internet, you will never be able to take them all down.” Yoongi shook his head, habitually picking at the skin of this thumb.

“Jungkook what were you thinking taking those videos? You know how important your image is. Why would you risk it all?”

“Looks like he wasn’t doing much thinking at all...all the blood his brain needed to make a rational decision was a little further down south...” It seemed like a lighthearted comment, masked a joke but Jungkook knew that Hoseok indeed wasn’t messing around.

He tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat but it just wouldn’t go down.

“I-It was just supposed to be between me and…” For a second, Taehyung’s eyes met his and he just couldn’t bring himself to say her name out loud.

Now he finally knew why one of his best friends had been crying; he had to find out from strangers on the internet that two of his best friends had been slowly ramming a knife into his back. He watched as Jimin pulled Taehyung to his chest, who looked like he was about to burst into tears again.

“Jungkook…”

His brain was slowing down tremendously, not able to form an articulate sentence that would explain the whole situation.

“So you and y/n thought it would be a good idea to take those videos for what reason?” Sejin folded his arms, eyeing the youngest intently over the rims of his glasses.

“Y/n…” He breathed out her name. “How is she? Is she okay? Has anyone talked to her?” Jumping up from the chair, he frantically looked at the other members who suddenly found their knees oddly interesting. “I have to go. I have to talk to her and make sure, she’s okay.”

“Sit down! You’re not going anywhere! The press is waiting outside, it’s been all over the news this morning!”

“W-what?” He slumped down in the chair, his fingers harshly pulling at his own hair. “I have to check on y/n…”

“I’m sorry, Jungkook but that’s not possible.”

“At least let me text her.” He pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes.

“You can’t do that either. We had a meeting in the morning and we can’t let you see her or talk to her again. This concerns the whole group, we cannot risk any more damage to your image. The fans are freaking out, the press is trying to dig up more dirt while asking the company for a statement regarding the videos. You made a whole mess. What were you thinking?”

Jungkook kept quiet under the drilling eyes of the seven men around him. If they reported about it on the news then he was sure his family had seen it too and were worried about him or worse; they had to carry the burden of being ashamed of their son. But he had to push those feelings on the back burner for now.

“I-I wasn’t… it’s just something we did sometimes when we were together.”

“Wait, what about Yina?” Jin chimed in, looking more confused now that the truth was out in the open.

“I broke up with her a few days ago because I love…love y/n.” Subconsciously his fingers started picking at the little fuzz on his cheek, harder than he had ever done it before. Saying it out loud to the people who had always cared for him so deeply, felt so wrong under these circumstances. He wanted them to know that being with her wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. That he didn’t just break up with Yina because y/n seemed more exciting and new - he truly loved her but he felt like they wouldn’t understand.

“When did this all start?”

He focused his eyes on the floor, his ears were feeling hot and redness crept up his face. He didn’t want to tell them, he didn’t want them to know what he had done without any of them knowing. The last thing he wanted was for them to find out and change the way they looked at him. They always doted on him, making sure he was okay and felt loved from a very young age, and he had betrayed them all; the six boys who raised him. Jungkook didn’t want them to think that they failed because he made poor choices along the way.

“Answer the question.” Taehyung’s voice was cold, sending shivers down his spine.

Trying to buy a little more time; he cleared his throat.

“I don’t know the exact date…but it’s been months” He whispered, guilt numbing his senses - at this moment he knew that everything would change; they wouldn’t take care of him anymore, they wouldn’t make sure he was tucked in and had enough to eat during the day. He wasn’t a baby anymore and certainly not the shy teenager they had all grown to love so much.

Telling them made him feel awful like someone had punched him repeatedly in the stomach.

He couldn’t bear the thought of looking at them; their disappointment erecting itself in front of him like a monster that was about to swallow him whole.

Taehyung stood up, his shaking hands balled into fists.

“You disgust me. You two deserve each other.” Pushing past Yoongi, he tried to leave the room but Jungkook jumped up from his seat - he had to fix things, he couldn’t just let him walk out without at least trying to make amends.

“Hyung, please I’m so sorry. Please forgi-..” He tried reaching for the older one’s arm but he crudely swatted his hand away.

“Do.Not.Touch.Me.” His deep voice was laced with venom, Jungkook’s bottom lip quivered when their eyes met, not being used to the tone that was filled with so much disgust, disappointment and hurt. He could see all the pain and anger Taehyung was feeling from being lied to that he just wanted to beg for forgiveness but it was too late.

“Do I have to listen to this shit or can I go?” He turned to face their manager.

“Ya! Taehyungie, don’t swear.” Hoseok immediately disciplined his younger brother but he was ignored.

“Can I go or not?” Taehyung’s eyes were focused on Sejin, who took a deep breath before nodding. “Thanks.” His footsteps echoed loudly in Jungkook’s ears as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Quickly he wiped it away with a shaking hand; knowing that he had just lost one of his best friends - there was nothing he could say or do that would repair the damage their friendship had suffered.

“So what happens now?” Jimin asked quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously, the future of the group uncertain.

“Not sure yet.” Sejin furrowed his brows. “We can’t just ignore it and hope for it to go away. We’ll have to wait and see what is being decided on before we make any rushed decisions. But for now, you’ll all have to lay low, especially you.” He looked at the youngest, who looked pitiful in his spot on the chair. “And that means that you will have to cut all ties with y/n.”

Jungkook shook his head; he wasn’t going to leave her, not after everything they had been through together. Not after fighting his inner demons for months to finally be with her, to only have it all taken away from him way too soon.

“Kook, don’t be stubborn! That’s what is best for the group. Do you want all of them to suffer just because you’re being selfish and want to be with a girl? There’s plenty of girls out there, you’ll find another girlfriend in the future.”

He kept quiet, he didn’t have it in him to argue because they wouldn’t understand that he didn’t want anyone else, he wanted her.

“So for now, all codes have been changed and I’m asking all of you to change passwords on your devices as well, just as a precaution. Don’t give out your numbers, we will be changing those as well over the next few days. Security will be increased and we will always have one of the managers here until this all blows over. I know, this is inconvenient but we have to get in control of the situation.” After addressing all of them, he turned to Jungkook again. “I’ll be picking you up at 9 tomorrow morning, the boss will be back from his business trip then.”

“Fine. Can I go to my room now?” Jungkook sounded poutier than he had intended but maybe he could message y/n over on her Instagram to check on her.

“No, but what you can do, is get your laptop so you can change all your passwords. I’m sorry but one of us will have to monitor you, Jungkook.”

He sighed in defeat, slowly dragging his feet towards his room.

Last night had been perfect, they won awards and talking to y/n for hours had been the best ending to the night; he just couldn’t believe that all the good things that finally started happening again, were now overshadowed by someone leaking those videos. He had cherished those videos, they were dear to his heart because it reminded him of one of the reasons why he loved her so much - he never knew what she would do next, it was exciting to be in love with her and he was missing her now more than ever before.

Carrying two bags of food and bottles of soju was more strenuous than she had expected. For a brief moment, she sat them both down to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand before readjusting her mask - the pollution had gotten worse during the day.

As she made her way around the corner, the street was filled with cars and reporters with their mics and cameras ready. Some were trying to talk to one of the security guards which there were many, more than usual.

“Ah, y/n.” The security guard she hadn’t seen since she came here drunk that one night greeted her happily “Bringing over some food, I see.” He closed his eyes, trying to sniff out what she was carrying in the bags.

“Yeah, I just finished work.” She bowed her head.

“I’m sure, they’ll appreciate it. They weren’t able to leave all day with the press blocking the way.”

“I can see that…” She trailed off, letting her eyes wander over the crowd. “Am I allowed to go in?”

“Sure, I haven’t heard otherwise.” She signed her name, as usual, and with a slight bow she continued her journey, walking up the hill to the building.

The increased amount of security made her feel uneasy, feeling like she was being watched every step of the way.

“What do you want?” A man in a suit spat at her before she could even open the door.

“I-I’m just dropping off food for my friends…” Her voice was shaking, making the security guy eye her suspiciously as if she was hiding a weapon in one of the bags.

“And your ‘friends’ know you’re coming?” He raised an eyebrow; she had a feeling that he was about to tackle her to the ground when the regular security guard from the lobby appeared by his side.

“It’s okay, I know her. She’s allowed to come in.”

“Thank you.” She whispered, keeping her head low as she walked past the grim-looking man.

“Crazy day today.” He mused, laying out two lists for her to sign.

“Why two lists?”

“One is for us and one is for them…” He nodded in the direction of the men in suits. “I also have to make a copy of your ID for them. They want to keep track of who is entering the building.”

“That’s fine.” She smiled awkwardly when handing him her card. All those men looking at her like she had done something wrong, made her feel on edge. One of them even followed her into the elevator, not letting her out of his sight until he confirmed with the security on the designated floor that she was allowed to be up here.

She tried entering the code but the all too familiar click of the lock didn’t happen.

Setting the bags down, she tried again. “6-8-1-4-2-7.” She muttered to remind herself of the combination but the small blinking red light told her it wasn’t right.

“Why isn’t it working?” Angrily she stomped her foot in annoyance before knocking on the door impatiently.

A set of footsteps indicated that someone was coming from the other side; she bent down to pick up the bags as the door swung open.

“Finally, did you change the code? I tried to…oh.” She looked up, being faced with the stern look of one of the managers. Hastily she bowed as low as she could without dropping anything. “I’m sorry, hello.”

But he didn’t reply, still just looking at her as if he tried to remember if he had seen her before.

“You need to leave.” His voice was strict, only fueling her confusion.

“But I just got here…”

“Doesn’t matter. You have to go and you cannot come back here.”

“I don’t understand, what’s going on? Why am I not allowed to see my friends?”

“Do yourself a favor and just go. Don’t cause a scene. Please, leave.”

Jungkook was lazily scrolling through his emails when suddenly one caught his eye.

“I got an email that someone logged into my iCloud.” He mumbled, making Hoseok and Jimin look up from their phones.

“Didn't you get the notification on your phone?”

“No…but my phone did ask me to log in again, oddly enough.”

“Hm technology is weird like that sometimes.” Hobi mumbled. “But it’s still kind of odd and you should definitely let someone know so they can look into it.”

"It was on the day I broke up with…” His eyes scanned the mail. “But the login happened hours before.”

“Do you think it was Yina?” Jimin’s eyes were wide in shock. “But how could she have known before you talked to her?”

Jungkook’s teeth dug deep into the soft flesh of his lip - Jimin’s words had struck a nerve.

He had wondered before how she had known where she would find him and y/n. How did she find out? He didn’t make the first move, she had already been there when he came back to the room.

“It says it was in Gangnam…not far away then.” Fingers kneading his chin, nails puncturing his skin, he tried to recall everything that had happened that day.

He had talked to Ha-na and Jimin after practice, remembering how worried y/n had been before they arranged to meet. He had met Yina in the hallway further away from the practice room, near his studio but there was nothing that would have given him away, there had been no sign that she was upset when he saw her that day.

“I don’t think it was her; I know her, she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“You can’t be sure about that, Jungkook. She was hurt and maybe that was her way of seeking revenge after you broke her heart.”

He swallowed hard at Hoseok’s words; as much as he wanted to believe that Yina wouldn’t do this, his brother was right. He brutally ripped out her heart and smashed it into a million pieces. It would only be fair for her to do something equally as bad to him and make him suffer.

He was wishing that there was a way he could get in contact with her, but he was sure that she wouldn’t want to speak to him anyway, not after everything he had put her through.

“Let the managers know, they can look into it.”

He nodded when a sudden knock on the door caught his attention.

“I’ll get it.” Their manager left the kitchen, where he was making a grocery list for a company employee to stuck up the supplies.

“We should order some food, I’m starving.” Jimin groaned, stretching out his arms before rubbing his tummy with a tortured expression on his face. “What do you want to eat? We’ll let you pick Kookie since your day is pretty shit.”

The black-haired boy scoffed. “Thanks but I don’t really feel like eating…”

“Jungkook-ah you need to eat.”

“But I’m not-…” He went quiet, the familiar voice of y/n faintly reaching his ears. “Am I dreaming?” He whispered but his brothers both shook their heads, not moving an inch to avoid making any noise.

“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” Instantly his eyes filled with tears, his heart cracked; she sounded so lost and confused. Too weak to fight the urge, he slowly got up from the couch, fully prepared to Naruto-run past his manager to finally hold her in his arms again. Everything would be so much easier to handle if she was around; they would just go through it together like they always did. Nothing could come between them, not his boss or managers, not his hyungs or even the fans; they were destined to be together and he was willing to fight anyone who tried to keep him away from her.

“What are you doing?”

“I have to see her…”

“Jk! No!” Hobi grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down.

“Please, please, please!” He begged his older brother, trying to persuade him to let him go but he just wouldn’t let go of his wrist, the pressure making his skin tingle.

Hoseok looked at the maknae squirming, trying to wrench his arm from his grasp - his big doe eyes were swimming in tears again, lips quivering trying to hold back from throwing a tantrum.

His heart hurt for his little brother, as much as he condemned his actions and the mess he got them into, he could tell how badly he needed her and deeply in love he was - Jungkook never begged for anything and him begging to see her was all that he needed to ever so lightly loosen the hold he had on his wrist.

“You heard her, hyung! She doesn’t even know what’s happening. I just want to see her, please let me go see her so I can explain it to her. She needs to hear it from me. Please…” Jungkook’s weak voice gave out when he looked up, Taehyung was standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks at the desperate pleading of his best friend outside the apartment and the manager’s strict orders for her to leave.

“Taehyung-ah.” Jimin leaned over the back of the couch to take his hand, wanting his best friend to know that he wasn’t alone and could seek comfort with him whenever he needed to but before he accomplished his mission, the younger boy had run back down the corridor, slamming the door to his room shut. seeking the comforting arms of his girlfriend.

Only seconds later, Sejin walked into the living room holding two big bags in each hand.

“Here’s some food, can’t let you starve while you’re basically locked in here.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulder, whose face showed no emotion, in order to prevent the breakdown he felt building up inside his chest. Blinking the tears away, his pupils dilated as they scanned the bags on the table. “Y/n brought food over…”

“What?” Hoseok asked, who was already busy pulling all the takeout boxes out to place them neatly on the table for the members to grab.

“Nothing, hyung.” He stood up but didn’t move, eyes still resting on the logo on the bag.

“Funny, it’s all your favorite foods, Jungkookie.” The older boy mused as he inspected the contents of yet another container.

“Yeah, funny. I’ll go get the others.” But he didn’t, instead, he made his way to small bathroom, tightly locking the door behind him. Sitting down on the floor, he pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

He didn’t want to cry but the tears kept prodding at the corners of his eyes; her voice still echoing in his mind. She didn’t know what happened, and no one cared enough to tell her; they just cut her off and forced him to do the same. Jungkook didn’t care much about his image at this point, he didn’t care that people had watched those videos - they all had made up their mind about him anyway. All he wanted now was to protect her, to make sure she was okay.

“I’ll have to find a way to talk to her…” He mumbled, resting his forehead against his knees while his fingers traced the engraved silver plate on his wrist. He wouldn’t give up so easily, even if it got him into more trouble.

“Take more, there’s plenty left. Tae needs to eat.” Jimin placed another box on top of the two Ha-na was already holding.

“No, no! I’ll come to get more if we’re still hungry.” She gave the boys a weak smile before heading back to her boyfriend’s room. He refused to leave it, not wanting to see Jungkook sitting amongst the others like a sad little puppy after committing the ultimate betrayal.

Ha-na closed the door with her foot, eyeing her boyfriend as he laid on the bed, hugging his body pillow extra tight, face buried in the tear-stained fabric.

“Tae, I have some food.” She set the boxes down on the small table while he slowly moved into an upright position to inspect the boxes.

“I don’t want it.” He said, lying back down instantly and turning his back towards her. Earlier this morning, he had been a lot more vocal about his pain, giving it a lot more room to breathe. But now he was in a phase where he’d cry and then start mumbling angrily, sometimes boxing the mattress. She pulled the chopsticks from her pocket, taking a seat next to him.

“And why not?”

“Read the fucking label on the box.”

“Choi Go Zip and what is that supposed to tell me?” Ha-na tilted her head in confusion, pushing her bangs from her eyes with the back of her hand. “Somebody from the staff went and got food for all of us. Tae, baby - I know you’re hurting right now but we’re all trying our best in this situation.”

He turned to lay on his back, a scowl playing on his lips. “It’s where y/n works, no staff member went to get the food for us.”

“How do you know?”

“She was here, I heard her talking to Sejin when I went to get water.”

“What?!” Her voice was high pitched, making her boyfriend flinch. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Did you talk to her?” Taehyung shook his head, crossing his arms over his face.

“No, I didn’t.” He tried hard to sound cold, pretending like he didn’t care but his trembling lips were giving him away.

“Why not?”

“I-I couldn’t stand the thought of looking at her.”

“Oh Tae.” Ha-na laid down next to him, wrapping her arm tightly around his waist. “I know she fucked up, but she is still your best friend. You can’t just leave her hanging like this, baby.”

He shook his head, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “What she did…it’s not what friends do. As far as I’m concerned, she’s not my friend anymore.”

Pulling herself up a little, she pressed soft kisses to his cheeks. “I know, you don’t really mean that.”

“She lied to me, Ha-na” He blubbered, turning his body around in her embrace to bury his face against her chest. “They both did. For months.”

Her fingers gently played with his hair, trying to calm him down, his whole body shaking from the overwhelming amount of emotions that were rushing through him.

“Tae, I told you weeks ago that there was something between them..” She paused, trying to choose her next words very carefully. “Baby your heart is too big for your own good, you always want to believe that people are good, especially your friends. You’re the opposite of the grinch, you feel too much.”

He chuckled against her skin, the vibrations of his deep voice giving her goosebumps.

“You know there will come a time when you’ll need your best friend, nobody can replace her. You have been friends since you were little kids, so please baby, take all the time you need to heal but don’t write her off just yet.”

He didn’t say anything, only inhaling shakingly. She knew he was being stubborn out of anger; being lied to by the people you trust is heartbreaking but he needed time, time to process and sort through his feelings - eventually he would come around, he loved y/n too much to just drop the friend who had stuck by his side for so many years. But then again, she wasn’t going to force him to talk to her if he didn’t feel ready to face her, he would know when the time was right to take a step towards mending the broken friendship.

“How am I supposed to ever trust them again?” He croaked; her arms around him tightening, afraid she might crush him.

“Baby I don’t know and you won’t know until you decide you’re ready to speak to them.”

Ha-na opened her eyes, taking a few seconds to realize that she had fallen asleep trying to comfort her boyfriend, who was now sleeping soundly snuggled up against her side. Irritated by the repeated buzzing noise coming from the nightstand, she blindly reached for the phone - it was Taehyung’s. She pressed the home button, a picture of herself staring back at her that he had taken by the river a few weeks ago.

y/n - 8 missed calls

y/n - 13 messages Maybe it was wrong and maybe he would be mad at her for doing this but she quickly entered his passcode to unlock the phone and check the unread messages.

[y/n - 7:05pm] Tae, what’s going on? Why did your manager sent me away and told me to not come to the dorms anymore? Can you please tell me? Because I don’t understand. 7:45pm Why aren’t you answering me? Are you mad at me? If I did something, can you please tell me?

9:27pm Taehyung? Please talk to me? Ha-na had read enough, feeling bad for the girl she had harbored a lot of bad feelings towards the past weeks when the phone vibrated in her hand again.

Now you’re leaving me on read? What have I done?

She put down Tae’s phone and picked up her own from the side of the bed. She was aware that Taehyung would feel betrayed when he found out what she was about to do but she just wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she kept quiet - leaving y/n in the dark like the rest of them.

[Ha-na - 10:38pm] Y/n, it was me! I read your texts. Can you meet me at Jamwon Hangang Park? At the spot where we took you on your first weekend in Seoul. I’ll explain everything to you.

Carefully she climbed out of bed, making sure Tae was tucked in and hugging his pillow, hoping he wouldn’t wake up while she was gone.

On her way out she passed by Jungkook’s room, through the closed door she could hear a sad song playing, every once in awhile sobs reached her ears. Her heart wrenched in pain; the little one was suffering from the consequences just as much as everyone else. Sometimes Jungkook could be a little naive but he had a good heart and a good head on his shoulders; despite his previous actions. With a sigh, she left the apartment and was greeted with the fluorescent lights in the hallway and a bunch of security guards.

“Where are you going?” One of them inquired.

“Not that it is any of your business but I couldn’t sleep so I’m taking a walk.” To Ha-na’s surprise, he nodded, marking her as absent on a list.

“Be safe, Miss.” He bowed his head, making space for her to get to the elevator.

It was odd to be surrounded by so many people that were just making sure no fans or press would get inside the building; normally the community was a safe place, people couldn’t just get in but BigHit didn’t seem to believe that people weren’t going to try to get in at any cost, whether it was bribing guards or climbing over fences.

Quickly she walked up the stairs that would lead her onto the second level and to the exit closest to her destination.

Ha-na got to the park earlier than expected, for a while she sat on one of the yellow stones by the water, the cool air comfortably expanding in her lungs and clearing her head after being cooped up in Taehyung’s room all day.

This morning when she woke up, she had not expected the day to completely turn upside down the way it did. And although she had taken care of Taehyung all day, she couldn’t possibly fantom how any of the boys were feeling.

Sure, it was hard to see her boyfriend so upset, but not knowing how the whole situation would turn out for them was emotionally draining and nerve-wracking. A feeling of helplessness stirred up inside of her; she really wanted to do something to help but every single idea that popped into her head seemed silly when she gave it a second thought.

Occasionally during the day, she had checked social media just to see what people were saying, and it wasn’t good. She just wanted all of them to stay off the internet while this was going down; the mean and degrading comments towards Jungkook would hurt all of them - he was still their little brother who they loved and adored.

Something told her that she wasn’t the only one thinking that it might have been Yina, who somehow got a hold of these videos and published them to make Jungkook pay for cheating on her for months on end. There was no denying that it sounded reasonable but Ha-na had a gut feeling that this wasn’t the case - Yina once had been someone she would spend time with, especially when the boys were away, and the girl never struck her as someone with malicious intentions; her love for Jungkook was pure - she had not been in it to gain something from him or the people he knew. She pulled her phone from her pocket - she just had to try, maybe this was the one thing she could do to help.

[Ha-na - 11:16pm]

Yina, I hope you’re doing okay, giving the circumstances! I’m sure, you’ve seen what’s happening. I just wanted to ask if you had anything to do with this? I won’t tell anyone, I just need to know.

She puffed up her cheeks; she probably wouldn’t get an answer but she just had to stay positive. No matter what Jungkook had done to her, she knew that deep down Yina was a good person, who might have just acted on an impulse out of anger.

Slowly Ha-na got up, letting her eyes wander up and down the little winding pathway for bikes before crossing it to sit on the bench where she and Tae had taken y/n on her first weekend in Seoul to eat chicken and drink beer while watching the lights of Banpo Bridge. Why did everything have to change? A few months ago things were perfect, everyone was so happy and now careers were ruined and relationships were breaking apart, trust was lost and too many tears were being shed.

It was dark and cold; the wind blowing in her face made her eyes tear up but she had to keep running. Her footsteps echoed loudly on the pavement, as she finally reached the part of the park where the poppy’s bloomed in spring.

“Not far…” Stopping for a few seconds, she rested her hands on her knees, panting heavily. “Just keep going…” Sharply sucking in a breath, she sprinted the rest of the way, where she spotted Ha-na sitting on a bench near the riverbank, lost in thought.

“Sorry, I had to sneak out, my brother was still awake.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ha-na’s smile was weak, in the darkness the worry that was painted all over her face, made her look incredibly tired. “Come sit.” She patted down on the spot next to her.

“Ha-na…” Almost eerily her name left her mouth, facing her best friend’s girlfriend. “What’s going on? I’m so confused…yesterday everything was fine and now, nobody is talking to me anymore.”

“You really don’t know, huh?”

“Know what?”

“Haven’t you watched the news or were you online at all today?”

She shook her head. “No, I was at work and when I got home, I had to make dinner for my brother and I was kind of preoccupied with being worried about why Jungkook isn’t speaking to me.”

“Y/n…” Ha-na took the inside of her cheek in-between her teeth, letting her eyes wander over the black water of Han River, taking a little while to decide on how to say what she had to tell her. “Someone, we don’t know who… leaked videos of you and Jungkook…”

“What? What videos? Did someone follow us?” Her heart crashed from her chest down into her stomach, chortling awkwardly in the abyss.

“No, the videos you two filmed having sex…”

All the color disappeared from her face; the contents of her stomach wanting to force its way out of her mouth. “No..no…this can't be happening.” Her nails dug into her scalp.

“Y/n, I’m sorry but that’s why Jungkook isn’t talking to you.” Carefully she rested her hand on the other girl’s thigh. “They confiscated his phone and he’s not allowed to contact you. They want to avoid the press finding out more or worse seeing you together.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s very upset that he can’t see you..” She trailed off, keeping her eyes on the girl next to her, who went silent as tears dripped down her cheeks.

Wrapping her arms loosely around herself, she just stared at her knees wishing that the tears would stop but they didn’t.

“Ha-na, I-I don't know how all of this started…Taehyung introduced me and I was just…head over heels from the start. It was like I didn’t have to search anymore…I found my soulmate…”

Ha-na tilted her head, brows furrowing together; Jungkook had used similar words before to describe how he felt when he saw her. Maybe there was a chance that they both instantly felt a deep connection that couldn’t be explained.

“I really tried to stay away from him, I swear. I didn’t want to get between him and his girlfriend and I know I should have waited until he broke up with her but I was so in love that I just stopped caring about what’s right. I just wanted to be with him and that was all that mattered to me. He promised me so many times that he would break up with her and although he never kept any of them, I still believed him because I just love him so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I didn’t care that it hurt me as long as I had him. I can’t even tell you why we filmed those videos, I know it was stupid but it was all we had when we couldn’t be together and I was the one who initiated it. So it’s all my fault that he is in trouble.” Her hand balled into a fist, before repeatedly hitting against her forehead. “I’m so stupid, I should have known better… stupid, stupid, stupid.” She whined over and over with each word increasing the force of her hand.

“Hey, y/n. Stop that.” Ha-na pulled on her arm, trying to prevent her from hurting herself. “We all know what you two did was wrong but people do stupid things all the time. We can’t turn back time, the damage is done- all we can do now is try to fix th-”

“Tae knows, doesn’t he? That’s why he’s not talking to me.” She blurted out, interrupting Ha-na mid-sentence like she didn’t even listen to any of the words that left her mouth. “I know I was doing something really bad when I had to start lying to my best friend. Oh god.”

“Yes, he knows now and he is really hurt and angry with you, not just with you, with Jungkook too.” She explained, her fingers lacing with y/n’s. “But I’m sure, he will forgive you. You know Tae, he can be stubborn when he gets into his head too much but he always comes around.”

For a little while Ha-na just let her cry, she now had to process what everyone else had tried to do all day.

“Ha-na…” She hiccuped, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her jacket. “Do you think I can talk to the company and tell them that I will take all the blame? I’ll tell them that I took one of the videos without him knowing and made him take the second one. I’ll just lie and say I lost my phone and the person who found it, did that to us. I don’t want Jungkook to be upset. It’s all my fault.”

“He would never let you do that, y/n.”

“I know but if you don’t tell him, I can just do it in the morning. I’ll go there right now and wait for someone to show up.”

“And what good would that do, hm?” Ha-na chuckled at the ridiculousness of her words, waiting for an answer but she came up short. “The company is taking care of it. They have people trying to find who did this. You can’t take the fall for it when both of you are responsible.”

“But he worked so hard and I’ve ruined it all.”

Ha-na turned around, grabbing harshly onto her shoulders to force y/n to look at her. “You haven’t ruined it all, stop saying that. If he didn’t want to film those videos, he wouldn’t have done it. Jungkook is not a baby, he knew what you guys were doing was reckless and so unbelievably stupid. Let the company deal with it, in a week nobody will be talking about it; another scandal will pop up and people will forget that Jungkook is a normal human being who has a sex-life. It’s not the end of the world, it will all be fine.” Ha-na heard the words leaving her mouth, but it felt like someone else was saying them. Everything inside her was screaming that it wouldn’t be so easy; that it wouldn’t be forgotten in a week but her heart couldn’t handle seeing the girl in front of her falling apart and wanting to make irrational decisions to protect the boy she loved.

Ha-na checked her phone; it was almost 2 in the morning - tomorrow would be another long day. She stood, facing y/n where their ways would part for the night.

“Promise me, you’ll stay off the internet for a while and take care of yourself.”

Y/n gave her a weak smile. “I promise and you’ll text me if anything happens.”

“Of course, I’ll tell you all about Kookie’s day.” She winked, hugging her extra tight.

“Tell him that I love him, okay?”

“I will.” Watching as she walked away, Ha-na couldn’t shake the bad feeling that was trying gnaw its way into her mind. Y/n was smiling through the pain, trying to be strong because breaking down wasn’t going to make the situation any easier.

Ha-na reached the dorm a little later, after enduring endless security procedures before she could finally get back into bed. Some of the reporters were still prowling the streets around the fenced-in community, hoping they would find any more dirt on the matter.

Slipping off her shoes in the entryway, she quietly tiptoed through the apartment.

“Is he still awake?” She muttered under her breath when she stopped in front of Jungkook’s room, the crack from underneath the door indicating that the lights were still on as well as the music but the sobs had subsided. Quietly she opened the door to find the youngest sleeping on his bed.

“Wasting all this energy.” Shaking her head, she switched off the ceiling light, before turning off the Bluetooth speaker on his nightstand; deciding she’d leave on the fairy lights above the headboard.

Jungkook’s face was puffy from crying himself to sleep, the pillowcase still stained with tears, making her heart feel heavy. She had just wanted for him to do the right thing and now that he had finally done it, karma was lashing out at him - taking away the things he loved. He talked about soulmates and so did y/n, but Ha-na was a strong believer in people getting what they deserved yet she wasn’t sure if karma wasn’t being too harsh on the young boy with the big doe eyes.

She pulled the duvet over his sleeping form, gently stroking his hair as his lashes fluttered at her touch.

“Get some rest, little one.” She whispered, his lips parting in an o-shape as he sighed contently. “Everything will be okay, y/n still loves you.”

Yoongi and the others were sitting at the kitchen table, talking and drinking wine to forget how bad their day had been. The maknae had disappeared into his room after talking to their boss in the morning, wanting to be alone - sending away anyone who tried to comfort him.

“I will never understand, why they thought it was a good idea to film themselves having sex…” Hoseok took a big gulp from his glass. “I thought we taught Jungkookie better than this.”

The leader sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. “They were kissing fire and now we all got burned.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jimin asked while pouring more wine for his older brothers.

“I mean, they knew what they were doing was dangerous, -maybe that’s why it was so enticing to them but neither of them stopped to think about the consequences and now we all have to pay. Whether it’s Taehyung being incredibly hurt by his friends lying to him or our image forever being tarnished because of those videos. We all will have to deal with the consequences of someone leaking it. From now on, we will have to be extra careful to ensure our privacy.”

“Who do you think leaked the video?” Jimin was looking at all of them curiously.

“Yina, obviously.” The oldest replied. “Jungkook was cheating on her for months.”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, getting cheated on is the worst. I wouldn’t even be mad at her if she did it. If I were in her shoes, I would’ve done the same.”

“All of you should be ashamed! Gossiping like teenage girls.” Ha-na scoffed suddenly, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“And you should be ashamed because eavesdropping isn’t nice.”

“I wasn’t but it’s good to know that you think it was Yina when it wasn’t her.”

“How would you know?” Jin had a sour expression on his face.

“Because apparently, I’m the only one who thought of asking her.”

“You talked to Yina?” Jimin stood up so suddenly that his chair tipped over, forcing Yoongi to catch it before it hit the floor.

“I did and it wasn’t her.”

“And you really believe her?”

Yoongi waved his hand, silently telling Jimin to be quiet so Ha-na could speak.

“Yes, she told me she logged into Jungkook’s iCloud to get the proof she needed that he was cheating on her but she did not save the videos nor did she post them online. She said she was too humiliated; she didn’t want anyone to know that her boyfriend cheated on her.”

“Makes sense…”

Ha-na shrugged, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. “We all have brains, sometimes it’s good to use it so it doesn’t get rusty.” Sticking her tongue out, she nudged Jin’s shoulder on her way back.

It was getting late and Yoongi was loading up the dishwasher before heading to bed himself.

“I’ll never volunteer to do this again.” He quickly wiped a few water stains off the counter before throwing the kitchen towel next to the sink in defeat.

He let his gaze wander around the room before switching the light off, the cold floor making him shiver and wanting to get into his warm, comfy bed as soon as possible when he suddenly heard a knock on the door.

“It’s almost midnight, who….” Yoongi trailed off, waddling to check who had managed to get past security at this hour.

Suspiciously, he opened the door just a bit to see y/n standing there, her shoulders hanging low, eyes swimming in an ocean of tears.

“Y/n, you know I cannot let you in, I’m so sorry.” Saying those words made him feel awful, her lips quivering dangerously.

“Can I at least speak to Taehyung?”

“He doesn’t want to see you right now…” His voice was straining as he denied the girl any form of communication with the two people she needed the most right now.

“Can I see Jungkook? Please, Yoongi, just for a minute…” He wasn’t sure if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him but he swore he saw tears falling from her eyes and hitting the marble tiles.

“I-he will get into trouble if management finds out…”

“You’re right, I don’t want to cause any more trouble for him than I already have.” She let out a choked sob, turning around to leave and Yoongi knew that he was about to do something stupid.

Seeing her being just as shaken up as his little brother was too much for him. He had doubted their love; he didn’t believe in soulmates - he did not think this relationship had a real future after hearing bits and pieces from Jimin. But his heart broke for the girl who so desperately wanted to see the boy she loved that she found a way past security in the middle of the night just to see him.

“Y/n, wait…” He said, stepping away from the door. “Go see him. I don’t know you’re here and I did not open the door for you.”

“Thank you.” She bowed, closing the door behind her.

Yoongi watched her walk up to Jungkook’s room, knocking a few times before he finally opened the door. His eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped his mouth when he realized that it was her and not one of his members bothering him again. Almost instantly he reached for her arm, pulling her into his room; a smile tugged at Yoongi’s lips. Maybe had done the right thing after all.

Jungkook slammed the door shut, his arms tightly wrapping around her- making sure she couldn’t just walk out, not when he needed to hold her so badly. It still felt like he was dreaming, he had lost count of how many times he had imagined seeing her in the last 48 hours. She nestled her face into his soft sweatshirt, inhaling his scent that always seemed to calm her fluttering heart.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away only to cup her face. Peppering soft kisses all over her cheeks to erase the tears that felt like acid against his swollen lips.

“I miss you so much, baby.” He mumbled, his lips ghosting over hers, reuniting them in an innocent kiss.

“I miss you too. Not being able to talk to you is the worst.” Her fingers helplessly dug into the soft fabric covering his chest.

“I know…” Rubbing calming circles on her back - he didn’t want to spend the short amount of time they had crying but as much as he tried to hold it together, he couldn’t and neither did she. Uncontrollably the tears kept falling, mixing with sniffles and shallow breaths in between kisses.

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault this is happening.”

“Noona, no! You know that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. If I didn’t…” She wept, looking up at him with so much hurt in her eyes that he felt his heart split in two. “It’s my fault…I made you take those videos..” She buried her face against his chest; Jungkook could feel each sob in his bones.

“No one is blaming you! We’re in this together, baby, okay?” His arms locked around her torso as he pressed kisses on top of her head. He was clueless, he didn't know what to say to make her feel better when it all weighed heavy on his mind, preoccupying his every thought and draining every ounce of positivity from his body. There was no magical solution; Sejin had told him to just stick it out for now until people got bored but seeing her cry made it so much more difficult. He just wanted to do something; something that would make all the pain, all the headlines and tears go away so they could be together but there was nothing he could do, other than to hold her, to let her know he would never let her go - not even in the darkest of times.

Suddenly, she pulled away to bring some distance between them. Avoiding his gaze, she focused on the fairy lights, her vision getting blurry. Ha-na had told her not to do anything stupid but she couldn’t help but think that maybe she was the cause of all of this. If she wasn’t in his life then he wouldn’t have to endure the mean comments being made; he would be happy and doing the things he loved without being worried and locked inside this apartment.

She was ruining his career and everything he had worked for - if she wasn’t around things could go back to normal for him. She would be happy to see him happy, even if it was without her around.

“Kookie…” His name fell almost inaudible from her lips. “Everything will be okay, right? Promise me you won’t let those people get to you.”

Jungkook was taken aback, he didn’t quite know what she meant - his brain operating slowly from the lack of sleep and constantly working in overdrive.

“Promise.” He attempted a weak smile to ease her worries but before he could say anything she turned around.

“I should get going before someone finds out I was here…”

“No, please don’t go. Just stay the night.”

“You know that’s not possible.”

Slowly he followed her to the front door, where she finally looked at him with tears in her eyes. He wanted to reach out to hug and kiss her, not knowing when he would see her again but something stopped him.

Her heart was wrenching in pain when she bowed to him. “Be well, Kookie! I hope you have a good life.” Carefully her hand slid into the pocket of her jacket, trembling fingers wrapping around the white gold bangle.

“What?” He asked, panic making his pupils dilate. He didn’t understand - just moments ago she had told him that she missed him. What was happening? He wanted to stand in her way, stop her from leaving but he couldn’t move, his body had turned into stone. Unable to get any part of him to move, he just stood there like a statue even as she reached for his hand, placing the bracelet he had given to her on it.

“Give this to someone who deserves it more than me.” His insides were screaming, nerves desperately tingling to set his legs in motion but it was too late - the door opened and closed. She was gone. His heart silently breaking in his chest; hot streams of tears cascading down his cheeks in disbelief. Where did this short visit go wrong or had it been her plan all along to come to see him and end their relationship when it had just begun?

In trance, he walked through the pitch-black apartment and without knocking into the room where he knew he was still loved. Jimin was lying on his back, furiously hitting the buttons on his Nintendo Switch when Jungkook laid down beside him, burying his face in his older brother's side. “What’s wrong?” “S-she broke up...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it because if he did then there was no going back - he would have lost his soulmate forever.

Taking deep breaths, she hurried past the two security guards and into the stairwell. Cowering down in a corner, she covered her mouth to silence the sobs that were shaking her entire body. He would be better off without her; all those girls were right she was ruining his life and she wasn’t going to let that happen - after all; if you love someone you should set them free if you’re holding them back.

315 notes · View notes