#btw you wont see me for a long time
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Woah guys, 4 people in ONE picture?
#btw you wont see me for a long time#i will be back tho#fanart#utdr#utdr fanart#deltarune#deltarune fanart#kris deltarune#kris dreemurr#kris dreemur fanart#kris dremurr#deltarune kris#noelle holiday fanart#dr noelle#deltarune noelle#noelle fanart#noelle deltarune#noelle x susie#noelle holiday#susielle#ralsei deltarune#dt ralsei#ralsei dr#deltarune ralsei#ralsei#deltarune susie#susie dr#susie
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The Oath an older sister takes is on par with that of a Paladins, and sometimes upheld with the very same ferocity…
#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#gillion tidestrider#edyn tidestrider#OKAY I WONT RAMBLE HERE AS MUCH AS LAST TIME BUT RAAHHH IM RLY PROUD O THIS PAGE. it was rottin in my wips for so long#but now its DONE!!(as much as im willing it to be) i rly like my colors! i looove playin with colors :3c#seeing everyones nice words on my last post also made me SOOO HAPPY it motivated me to create MORE!!!!#SO HERE HERE more edyn n gillion bc they make me EMOTIONAL!! i work with lil kids as my job too and im also an older sister so#i might be projecting a liiittle bit. okay to be fair i project onto gillion ALOT!! i didnt do well in school and adults are mean somtimes:#i hope we find out whats going on with edyn soon... whole heartedly trust her tho. she has gillions best interests in mind!#ive been rotatin the thought of her assassinating the elders in my brain for SO LONG!! i just need edyn to KILL to protect gillion ouuhhh#hope she comes back with like a giant sword or a cool gun#RAMBLE ABT UR FEELINGS IN THE TAGS BTW#I READ IT ALL N IT MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY. YOU GOTTA.
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i will say this once and then i’ll never talk about it again because my dashboard is full of it and im tired of reading about it now. but as a soon to be archaeologist we have been telling you over and over again to stop treating grave sites and protected heritage monuments as tourist attractions. we keep telling you to understand the difference between expeditions that are historically/scientifically necessary versus ones that are purely to satisfy personal curiosity. not only because they are dangerous for those involved (and the innocent people who may have to be sent out to rescue them) but also because it can be damaging for the site/monument itself. we keep telling you and you keep ignoring us. so i have limited sympathy for those who refuse to listen. HOWEVER. i am also tired of reading all these posts joking about “stupid rich people” dying on the titanic because that isn’t fair to the other titanic victims. there were lots of working class people on the titanic and they died in far higher percentages than the first class passengers did and that is not a coincidence. not only this but when crews later began recovering bodies the first class passengers were STILL treated as the priority, purely because they were first class. there weren’t enough embalming supplies for all the bodies that were recovered, so the ones that could be identified as wealthy passengers were preserved whilst any that couldn’t (along with any identifiable as crew members) were essentially tossed back into the sea. they did this because they decided the wealthy victims were more important because having an identifiable body would help in any disputes over their estates/wealth. meaning they were given the burial they deserved because they were rich, whilst the third class passengers were discarded like they weren’t even people. basically my point is if you’re going to make this about stupid rich people make it about the ones who are responsible for building and okay-ing the glorified tin can that is now lost in the ocean because they refuse to let the titanic victims rest rather than erase all the working class people who died on that boat in the first place
#i have made posts about the working class titanic victims before but it has been a really long time#stop erasing history to push your agenda#this isnt me defending the rich people down there btw. i dont actively wish they would die so horribly. but you wont see me defending them
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Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.
Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.
The question is... can you?
#im just so tired of all the shit that i constantly see on the internet#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DRAW SOMETHING PERFECTLY#or ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY USED A DIFFERENT COLOUR PALETTE#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ISN'T UP TO FANDOM'S STANDARDS#i bet other people also get shit like that all the time#for example my friend is a writer and he just happens to be a cisguy and whenever i mentioned it to people#they would instantly start saying that they are sure he writes shit like she breasted boobily down the stairs#or i remember how i got told off for making trahearne lives au because apparently#messing with canon is just as bad as falsifying information in history books#just stop for the love of whatever's devine#this has been boiling in me for so long i cant even express it#sorry for going off in the tags in case you decided to read them#peace out imma go and read a book and touch grass#finally its green and soft again after so many rains and storms so it will be a nice chilling time outside#oh btw proper plural is pierogi without the s. singular is pieróg. you want to add s - say pierógs#ngl that pierogi-pierogis is one of my biggest pet peeves#like i wont be stabbing you over it or throw a tantrum and i will just move on with my day i have better things to do in general than#than throwing fits and also im not omniscient myself#like i dont know all the words in english and my german knowledge is very scarce#so i in no way demand others know about pierogis#just give people some room to breathe for gods sake#ok ok ok i think im overwriting this and i cant edit tags on phone so now fr im gonna go and enjoy outside and watch the squirrels
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I don't have an insta 😔
I do have to respect that honestly.
#instagram is one of the worse social media apps i use it only to post my own photography and scroll on my fyp which is well curated somehow#btw if you’re trying to date dont communicate on instagram#exchange numbers. keep that boundary and keep it sacred#dont let whoever ur trying to date see your social media presence#even worse if their dms are on silent who tf are you and whose dms are you trying to avoid?surely not mine#how are you going to set up a date with me when your insta DMs are on silent. you havent responded to me and its been 6 hours the day of!!!#how is it 3 pm and its your day off and we were supposed to have a date but youre acting like youre beyoncé omg text me the fuck back#plus you haven’t texted me two whole days#and im mad about it cause that’s a very attractive long haired peruvian man i mean wow! fuck this#had to block cause even if there wasn’t any commitment im not letting myself be disrespected the fuck#anyway if a man asks for your Snapchat specifically he is a serial killer and he will murder you OR he is twenty years old or younger#if a man asks for your TikTok he thinks youre in high school. we all are too classy for TikTok#TikTok is the temu of apps just trashy altogether. you open and there’s aliexpress-reminiscent ads…ew…I’ve only posted a few times#but every time i open the app i feel like I’ll catch lice it just feels unclean#we talk about twitter and how ass it is to use which is fair but tiktok is worse i mean…UI nightmare#a man that uses TikTok is off the deep end you can’t save him#he’s frying up his attention span. meaning he wont be able to focus on you as he should because you are a queen#instead he’ll think about skibidi toilet or some shit does anyone know what that is?i dont#imagine kissing a man having no idea he has that fucking ‘oh no oh no oh nonono’ audio stuck in his head#a man should read a book and even then that should be fucking controlled#im reading Freud right now and its torture. tbf it does happen to be sexuality theories#girl its fucking gross#academia is cooked cause in what world do i get creds for reading the most wack books in the history of ever?#I’ve read 11 books and half of them were boring#this Freud included and its repulsive to read and not even true.#why is it 2024 and im still being taught untrue info just cause old man from old times wrote it#i could clear freud. he literally was a cokehead#in the end he’s a man like the rest of them and if you show him TikTok his brain cells will be cooked#so who won?
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Why is pulling an all dayer harder than pulling an all nighter
#when i lived in Philadelphia i worked nights-ish#like until 11pm at the latest#but i worked in a high energy place and my roommates were nught owls so we would stay up until like 2am hanging out#then id go play with my rats or be on my laptop while they roamed about my room and that lasted about an hour#and then i just stayed awake until 9am when i had to take out my dog. play with him for like an hour#and then sleep five or less hours before i went to work#it was a horrific schedule btw#one of my old roommates is a sleep scientist and when i explained my sleep schedule to her she said#'it wont kill you in a way youll understand'#which is the most ominous thing I've ever heard and it came from the sweetest cat lady poly lesbian with the nicest girlfriend#since then ive gotten a lot better because my job wants me to work at 11am#so now i sleep midnight to 9am and if i work i generally dont nap because my shift takes up prime napping time#but on days i dont work? gotta nap unless im doing something else#today i went to a coffee shop and then the library for a total of like four hours#i was very productive on things that dont have a deadline and arent super important in the long run but they were fun#and i got to drink two lovely energy drinks that taste like orange dreamsicle#then i went to the library and they have little booths for laptop users with charging ports right in the booths#but i didn't get a nap because i did all that and then played unknown armies#and ive been sleepy the whole day. so why could i stay up all night every night in the past but cant last a day without a nap?#im like a toddler#i miss staying up all night actually. the sunrise is nice. but i cant wake up early enough to see it#i once took my little dog on a sunrise walk and then ordered door dash for a bagel breakfast sandwich and a hot chocolate#what a wonderful day. and then i went to work and that job was pretty fun#and i know that was so bad for me to stay up like that. but i kinda miss it#cuz this staying up all day shit is hard
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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i had a dream my parents gave me up when i was young. i came home from school one day and they told me they didnt want me anymore.
but that isnt what the dream was about. i knew that already.
it was a dream about being wanted.
my older cousin had a room for me, a whole country away, with exposed auburn wood and a big bed. big canvasses, with tubs of paint. a soft carpet. billboards for photos of memories i would make. set up for me like the aquarium for a long waited fish of an excited child.
que parecidas from the lips of relatives and strangers alike. it means ‘how seeming’. or ‘how belonging.’ they were commenting on how we look alike. we do. i could almost let myself forget i wasnt always here.
my cousins children became my little sisters. i did ballet with mis hermanitas down the hallways of our home. they dont know theres someone who called me hermanita too - i could almost let myself forget that, too.
my old friends called me sometimes, but less and less, as i started forgetting english. maybe as i forgot the words for friend and mom and sister i’d forget them too. maybe i could let myself remember only amigo y mamá y hermana. only the ones that wanted me.
but not when you called me. i could feel the dream realize - i didnt know you yet when i left - you can’t be here. large oilspilled hands replaced your face with someone else. someone who made sense in a timeline where i am wanted. you don’t make sense here. but you wiped off all the other faces. it was always you. breaking through. reaching out to me.
i couldn’t forget. not you. i wished i could. i clung to this dream where i was wanted. i didnt want to remember. you hugged me as it begun to rain. the murals i painted on my walls washed away drop my drop. until downpours claimed my dance trophies and tutus. my pictures of made-up friends. the walls dripped bare until through the haze of rain it was my real life again.
but you still hugged me.
it was a dream about being wanted. it still was.
#the words in spanish feel so cringe to me rn but i think im just being self conscious#real dream i had btw#it was An Experience it was really vivid and i woke up crying#it was after visiting said cousin and her daughters#my dad took a picture of the two of us and the whole trip was showing everyone every time someone told me i looked like her#i miss them already :( i didnt get to see my little cousins very long and i know the next time i will they wont be near as little#like ik that when my family goes there its like a 3 week long party but still its so nice there#i wasnt built for a nuclear family man i want to live with extended family#anyways i thought of this again bc i saw something like ‘would you still love me if we never met’#and i was also kind of thinking about soulmates and how i feel like my ex was my soulmate even though it cant work between us#and i feel like thats what a soulmate is to me#someone that im in love with in every universe#and i love the person im closest too now very much but its never felt like theyre someone i couldnt have not met#even though i know i can be happy with them and have already found out i couldnt be happy with my ex#but then#theyre the one that showed up in this dream#a dream about if i never met them#and they still loved me.#blargh anyways#and Thats why i made this blog bc both people in question do follow me#and i Already wrote a post abt soulmates that lowkey was subtweeting the two of them#and Both people in question liked it dhjdsh#wait let me reblog it here
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literally the pet rooms at work are the evillest not bc the pets are bsd at ALL theyve all been either well behaved or very timid and avoidant so its not like they get in the way. theyre bad bc my heart wants to just pet the kittys forever
#the other day enzo who is this very very sweet shihtzu was left in the room#usually he goes on a walk with his owner while im cleaning. yk. tbey walk to town#but that day rhey didnt go on a walk so enzo was in the room with me and he was very excited at first but then realized i couldnt play with#him and then he just sat by the door sadly Lol#hes a smart dog though i think he can tell when im working vs when im just hanging iut bc umm yesterday his owner had some stuff he needed#to tell me. and enzo was all over me jumping ip so i was just.petting him the entire time his owner was talking#theyre a very very sweet duo the guy is obsessed with his dog.. the guys name is angelo BTW. hes italian if you couldnt tell#but he like. writes poems for his dog and for his late wife and its all very very sweet. he loves enzo a lot :*?#it makes me so . like babyfever but for little doggy i literally want a dog so badly i Legitimately cannot get one right now but i want .#a little dog . i want one so bad#but. as i said i shant jntil i 1. am not Sleeping in a garage and 2. get my life under control#bc i can barely take care of myself atm and it just. yk. it wouldnt be responsible of me to get one#i prolly wont be ableAt least until i move out of this house#either back home or to a new place whos to say. not me i dont know i havent decided.#but yas. enzo is the onlyyy doggy i have in all my rooms.. i have a few cat rooms though#my favorite cat is probably willy hes such a sweetie. hes okd and so fat and he isnt afraid of me at all#<- sort of a detriment bc he loves to lay on the bed while im trying to strip it. and i have to slide my hand under the covers and pry him#up. and then he makes The saddest meow ever and gets up. hes so cute#most of the other cats i dont rly see a lot... rheres maybe 3? others aside from willy and 320's cat (i dont know her name bc she Refuses#to hold still long enough for me to read her collar lol)#but the others i dont know their names Aside from oliver who is 208's cat....
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YYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! MY CREATIONS HAVE BEEN NOTICED!!! :3 The wait was totally worth it<333 I love seeing my super favorite purple man's silly face☆
hehe spindly fingers go brrrrrrrrr
Hiya guys :3 I made a little something for the lovely grape man in my favorites list! I made a..
For Dave! If He's available to give it too.. I even added a lil Jack Charm over the purple heart for Him to hold dear. I hope He enjoys it! :3
> …
> I—…
> … Maybe y’all askers… ain’t so bad.
> I ain’t like things ‘round my neck, feels like I’m bein’ strangled… But I have no qualms wearin’ this bad boy on my wrist. D’awww, look at that little Sportsy on there… Just as charmin’ as ever!
#LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GUYYYYY#I LOVE HIM#my day has been made#seriously thank you#gaymurdersalad#murder salad#is a silly funny name btw i love it#very coolio#pretty neeto even#very cash money may i say#you can see how much mod Chribs doesn’t have ver shit together by the date on the ask#but I’ve wanted to fill this out for the longest time!#long time is correct#lol it was back in late February!! but like i said; totally worth the wait. :3 thank you artist who is better than me#btw i would consensually smooch him. only admitting that bc im sure you wont read all this anyway >:3
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I think you'd cook a one short one about the first time Paige saw Azzi's belly button piercing
don’t need to breathe (when you look at me)
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 5.3k
c/w - language, needles, FLUFF, smut
a/n - this is my fourth time trying to upload. lately, whenever i try to upload anything more than 100 or so words, tumblr gets slow and then crashes and i lose the whole thing!! it sucksss 😩. pls send help. anyway, hope you like! (also this is unedited as fuck)
Azzi absolutely hates needles.
It’s something she’s always known about herself—when she was getting her four-year-old vaccines, she fought the nurses holding her down and ripped the needle out of her leg while screaming like a banshee.
Safe to say, whenever she finds herself around needles, it’s usually against her will.
Which is exactly why she wasn’t brave enough to get her ears pierced until she was fifteen. It’s also exactly why, when her mother brings up a belly button piercing the summer before college, her reply is an immediate and adamant no.
“Why not?” Katie asks, as if she doesn’t know her daughter at all. “I had one when I was around your age.”
Azzi shudders at the mere thought of a piece of metal forced through the inches of skin between her navel and belly button. “No way, Mom.”
“I gotta say, I agree,” her dad pipes up, and usually Azzi doesn’t favor his opinions on these things (crop tops were a no until she was thirteen) but today, she smiles gratefully at him. “She doesn’t need nothing like that ‘till she’s older.”
“Tim,” Katie says exasperatedly, “she’s an adult.”
“Yeah, but not really,” Tim says, throwing his arm around Azzi’s shoulders. Azzi burrows into her dad’s chest in an attempt to hide from her scary mom with the scary needles.
“It was just a suggestion,” Katie sighs, reaching into the oven to pull out the pot pie. “You don’t have to if you don’t want it. They’re just cute, is all.” Placing the hot pan on the stove, Katie turns back to the two of them, smiling slyly at Azzi. “I’m sure your girlfriend would think so, too.”
Admittedly, that thought itself has the cogs in Azzi’s mind turning.
————————————
Later that same day, at around 10:00, Azzi’s phone buzzes with a text from none other than Paige Bueckers, also known as Azzi’s aforementioned girlfriend.
I miss you
The two of them had woken up on FaceTime that morning, and had been texting throughout the day, but it’s been a few hours since their last conversation so of course it’s the first thing Paige would say to her. She’s never liked conventional conversation starters, anyway.
Before Azzi can respond, three other texts come in tandem:
send me pics
WHOAAA pause, not those kinda pics. I just miss looking at u or whatever
but if you wanna send those kinda pics i wont complain 😛
Azzi rolls her eyes, albeit affectionately, at her phone screen. A pang of longing shoots through her stomach, reminding her just how much she misses her stupid, dorky girlfriend.
Typing quickly so that Paige won’t beat her to it, Azzi types: I miss you too p
And then, you’re like a teenage boy btw
The response comes fast: rudeee I just wanna see my girlfriend’s beautiful face
are you ovulating or something?
whoa howd you know
Once again, Azzi rolls her eyes. And then her thumb hovers over the camera app before she opts for Facetime instead, pressing the button and smiling when Paige answers halfway through the first ring.
“—out of my room, seriously!” Azzi catches the second half of Paige’s sentence, and immediately knows who she’s talking to—that tone is reserved for one particular little boy.
“Hi,” Azzi says, and Paige’s attention snaps down to her phone, eyes crinkling with a smile.
“Hi, baby,” she says softly, and then there’s giggling in the background and Paige looks away again. “Drew, for real, leave me alone!”
“I wanna say hi to Azzi, too,” Drew’s playful whine comes distantly over the speaker.
“Aw, let him say hi,” Azzi argues.
Paige glares down at her, but then Azzi gives her a stern look—she’s a firm believer that Paige needs to be nicer to perfect little Drew, even though she herself isn’t a saint to her own brothers by any stretch. Sighing dramatically, Paige passes the phone over to Drew, whose smiling little face appears on the screen. “Hi, Azzi!”
“Hey, Drewski,” Azzi replies, ignoring Paige’s mumbling in the background. “How’ve you been?”
“Good. Today I beat Paigey in 1v1 and then she beat me up and knocked my tooth out.”
“Drew!” in a second, the phone is ripped away from him and back to Paige, who’s looking urgently at the phone. “He’s lying, he lost that tooth naturally.” She looks up, presumably at her hysterically laughing little brother. “And you didn’t beat me, I let you win.”
“Hey! I’m gonna tell Dad you said that!”
“He can’t do anything to me, I’m an adult.”
“I’m gonna tell him you said that, too!”
“Well I’ma tell him you’re bothering me if you don’t get out my room!”
Finally, there’s the aggressive sound of the door slamming shut, and Paige smiles triumphantly down at the phone.
Azzi leans back against her pillows, shaking her head. “Fighting with him as if he isn’t seven years old.”
“Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do,” Paige replies, the background changing as she moves across her room to set the phone on her desk. “I’on like him around when we call.”
“Why not?” Azzi asks, even though she already knows the answer to that.
“‘Cus sometimes I wanna say things to you that nobody else should hear.” Paige grins devilishly, but there’s something a little heavier in her eyes, and that longing curls a little more dangerously in Azzi’s stomach now.
It’s been a long time, but they’ve yet to resort to phone sex. With Stewie curled at her feet and her brothers in the next rooms, Azzi decides she’d like to keep it that way.
“Again, teenage boy,” she teases, and it successfully changes the atmosphere.
Paige gasps and plops down in her desk chair in order to get a closer look at her. “That’s actually offensive.”
“Uh-huh,” Azzi says, watching as Paige fiddles with something on her desk before picking up her gaming headset, and her mouth drops. “You’re not about to game while we’re on call right now.”
Freezing, Paige stares at her, slowly setting the headset down, “What? No, ‘course not.”
Azzi would call Paige a teenage boy again but she thinks it might actually give her a complex, so she decides against it. “Hey,” she says, already feeling her palms get sweaty at the thought of what her mom said earlier, “what do you think about belly piercings?”
“For you or for me?”
“In general.”
Paige shrugs, leaning back in her chair. “I dunno. They’re cute. Why?”
Azzi bites her lip. “My mom thinks I should get one.”
“Yeah?” Paige wiggles her eyebrows at her. “That’d be hot.”
“You think?”
Paige nods decidedly. “Yeah, I do. But you’d never get one, right? I mean, you cried last time you had to get your blood drawn.”
Azzi waves her off. “That was a long time ago.”
“That was four months ago, baby.”
“Okay, whatever.” Azzi flushes at the memory, how she and Paige had gone together for their physicals and how Azzi had been shaking with nerves while Paige sat cool as a fucking cucumber. Paige had teased her about it when the tears started, but she still wiped them away tenderly and later, Azzi heard her asking the nurse if they really had to do the needles. “Maybe I will do it.”
Paige looks at her with this doubt in her eyes that she hates. “You will, huh?”
“Maybe,” Azzi reiterates a little nervously, because she can’t promise anything, not when it comes to a long-ass needle going through her flesh. Okay, so, maybe not.
But Paige is almost smirking now and so she says, “I’m seriously thinking about it.”
Paige nods at her, clearly bemused. “Sure, sure. You, the girl who has a scar on her thigh from ripping a needle out of it—“
“I was four!”
“Still,” Paige laughs. “No way you’re getting that piercing. Maybe stick with a lil nose stud, that’d be cute.”
Deep down, Azzi feels a certain tug of competitiveness—all too familiar when it comes to her girlfriend. And, in this case, dangerous, because when Paige challenges her to something, she refuses to lose.
But, this isn’t a challenge. This is just Paige being Paige. It’s not a challenge until someone says—
“I’ll bet you twenty bucks you get a belly piercing,” Paige jokes. And dread curls in Azzi’s abdomen. Because there it is.
Scary needles and crushing anxiety aside—suddenly, Azzi needs that twenty dollars. And she will absolutely not be losing it.
————————————
Azzi is in her room, trying and failing for the third time this week to pack for college, when her mother appears in the doorway. “Hey, Az.”
“Yeah?” Azzi asks without looking up.
“Can you come help me unload the groceries? I can’t carry them all by myself.”
“Uh,” Azzi glances at her suitcase—which needs to have her whole life packed away inside it within the week—and decides it can wait, “yeah, sure.”
She doesn’t notice the twinkle in Katie’s eye as she gets up and heads out into the hallway. As she walks down it, she registers the muttered sounds of her family and realizes she hasn’t heard the dogs in a few moments. Turning back to her mom, she says, “Where are the dogs?”
“Oh, we put ‘em in our room,” Katie says, taking Azzi by the shoulders and ushering her down the hallway.
Azzi furrows her brow. “Why?”
Katie pushes her out into the living room and the first thing she notices is her brothers and dad all gathered there, watching her with—excitement? Anticipation? And she’s about to ask why when Katie takes her by the shoulders once again and turns her so she’s facing the front door, and there’s Paige, knelt down, focused on untying her shoes.
Azzi doesn’t move, because is this real? This has gotta be an stress-induced hallucination, right?
But, no. It’s real. She knows because Paige, her perfect, oblivious girlfriend, hasn’t noticed her yet, and is chattering away like she always does: “So then I was like, yo, it’s not my fault you didn’t buy an extra seat, so like, why would I give you mine? And usually I would’ve given it up but I told her, I was like, I gotta see my girl, I can’t get off this plane. Because that’s serious to me, you know? And I…”
Paige’s rambling trails off only when she finishes taking off her shoes and finally glances up, to find Azzi standing a little awestruck a couple feet away.
“Oh,” she says, smiling almost sheepishly at her as she straightens up, “hey.”
For some reason, that’s what snaps Azzi out of her Paige-induced trance and she sort of forgets about the rest of her family watching them as she crosses the few steps it takes to launch herself into Paige’s arms, nearly sobbing with relief of a weight she didn’t know was there being lifted off her shoulders as she’s wrapped up in an all-too-familiar embrace.
“You’re here,” Azzi breathes, almost unable to believe it. “Why’re you here?”
Paige squeezes her tight, leans down to bury her face in the crook between her shoulder and neck. “Couldn’t wait any longer,” is all she says, and Azzi hasn’t ever agreed with anything more.
————————————
It’s not until later—after a celebratory lunch and family board games and then a celebratory dinner and family movie night, completed with ice cream sundaes—that they get a moment alone.
As soon as they’re stepping into Azzi’s bedroom, Paige is on her in a second, holding her tight by the waist and inhaling deeply into her hair. It’s almost instinctual the way Azzi reciprocates, her body moving on its own accord to wrap her arms around Paige’s broad shoulders and hold her close. It’s not for a few more moments that Paige says something. “Missed you so much, Az.”
“I know,” Azzi nods, pulling away just enough to get a good look at her girlfriend’s face, and though they’ve spent half the day together she still marvels at the fact that she’s looking at her without the barrier of a shitty internet connection, hearing her without the interruption of cackling speakers. “‘M happy you’re here, baby.”
“Me too,” Paige replies, leaning forward so their noses are touching. “We should never do that again, yeah?”
“What? Spend the summer apart?”
“Uh-huh,” Paige replies, her eyes drifting shut as her lips brush up against Azzi’s. “Hated every second of it.”
“Me too,” Azzi breathes, closing her eyes as well at the feeling of Paige’s breath up against her lips, her hands running slowly up and down her back before moving to her stomach, pushing against her. Azzi gasps as her back hits the bedroom door, eyes opening to study her girlfriend’s face, to find her staring back. Her pale cheeks are already a little flushed, and Azzi must be wearing a similar expression because Paige chuckles softly before leaning down and finally pressing their lips together in a soft, tender kiss. Chaste enough but nothing like the few pecks they shared today—this is intimate and weighted and altogether not meant for her family to see.
“Azzi,” Paige mumbles needily against her lips and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly she’s getting wet, just from a closed-mouth kiss and roaming hands on her stomach and an utterance of her name.
But she can’t really bring herself to be embarrassed. Because this is Paige. And it’s been so much longer than either of them can bear.
“Az,” Paige repeats, pressing soft kisses against the corner of her mouth now, “I…can we?” she pulls back and Azzi’s legs nearly give out at the hot, desperate look in Paige’s eyes. “Need you,” she insists.
Azzi glances over her shoulder, at the closed door and the hallway she knows is beyond, her family separated only by square meters and walls. It’s not an ideal situation.
But neither is holding off for another day. Even another hour might destroy her, if the damp spot growing on her panties has anything to say about it.
So, Azzi nods, untangling her arms from around Paige’s neck in order to reach back and lock the door. She can’t help but smile at the excitement in Paige’s eyes when she turns back to her, and at the same time she gives her a look that’s all warning. “We gotta be quiet, though.”
“Got it,” Paige nods, already walking them backwards toward the bed.
“And no strap,” Azzi continues, then squeals as quietly as possible when Paige pushes her down onto the bed.
Paige is back on her as soon as she’s lying down, kneeling on the bed to hover over her, and the pout on her face contrasts almost comically with the heat in her eyes. “But I brought it for us.”
Azzi isn’t all that surprised—of course Paige would bring their neglected dildo to her surprise visit at Azzi’s parent’s house. But Paige becomes sort of feral when that thing comes on and Azzi is no better, often unable to hold in the noises that rip their way out her throat while Paige pounds her.
As Azzi scoots back until her head hits the pillows, wrapping her arms around Paige’s neck so she follows, she knows tonight isn’t the night for rough and filthy. The longing in her belly is heated, sure, the arousal leaking from her downright sinful—but there’s something almost innocent in the way she needs Paige tonight. She needs her as if she’s a piece of her that’s been missing too long, and it’s only natural to come back together like this.
“Paige,” she whispers, pulling her down, “please, just—don’t need any of that. Just need you, right now.”
Something softens almost immediately in Paige’s expression at that, the arousal clouding her gaze clearing just a bit and making way for pure, unadulterated love.
“Aight, baby,” Paige mutters, kissing Azzi again, and this time Azzi opens up for her, salivating when Paige’s tongue meets hers, pushing past to enter her mouth and lick around inside like she’s looking for something. Azzi’s legs go instinctively around Paige’s waist, hands tightening around her neck, anything to bring them as close as possible.
Paige pulls back when Azzi’s breath gets shaky, string of saliva connecting their lips until Paige licks it away. “I gotchu,” she reassures, one hand finding its way from where it’s bracing her on the bed to stroke down her cheek, to her collarbone. “Just relax, baby.”
“‘S been a long time,” Azzi replies, figuring that’s the reason for the lump of anxiety in her throat, the way she’s grasping at Paige as if she’ll disappear. And, sure, it’s only been three months—what’s three months, when plenty couples go years without seeing each other?—but for Paige and Azzi, it felt like an eternity. And Azzi realizes it’s a little overwhelming coming back to something so familiar all at once.
“I know,” Paige says, leaning down to trail her lips delicately against her jawline. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Uh-huh,” Azzi replies, a little breathily now that Paige is moving to that sweet spot on her neck. And when she gets there, she sucks, not quite hard enough to leave a bruise but hard enough for her to feel it. “Paige,” she murmurs, her own hands going to the hem of her sweater, “Wanna—take this off.”
“Okay,” Paige replies, helping Azzi sit up just enough to pull the piece of clothing off and toss it somewhere across the room. It’s dimly lit, only the moonlight and the lamp on Azzi’s bedside table to illuminate the room, but it’s plenty enough for Paige to take in Azzi’s bare torso, eyes flickering from her collarbones to her chest to her face, then back to her chest again where her gaze lingers—Azzi reminds herself to make fun of her for that later—and then, finally, Azzi watches her girlfriend’s gaze travel down the bare expanse of her stomach, to her navel, where her eyes widen and her jaw drops just slightly when she sees the new piercing sitting there.
“You…” Paige mumbles, never ripping her eyes from the piercing, and Azzi giggles. “You actually got it.”
“Had to,” Azzi says, pleased with the reaction. “You owe me twenty, by the way.”
Paige looks up at her then, and her free hand travels down Azzi’s stomach to cautiously touch the stud. “Did it hurt?”
Azzi nods. “Yeah. But it was worth it.”
Paige nods along with her. “Definitely worth it.”
Her lips reattach to her neck, but they don’t linger there, moving quickly down to the dip between her collarbones, her fingers still delicately playing with her piercing. “Got it a couple days after our FaceTime. You remember?”
Paige nips at her collarbone. “Yeah. Thought there was no way in hell you’d get it.”
“‘S why I did,” Azzi replies, tone going a little unsteady again as Paige’s lips travel lower, reminding her of the pulsing that’s beginning to ache between her legs. “Knew you’d like it.”
“I was right, though,” Paige replies, a little muffled as she kisses the pillowy flesh of Azzi’s chest, “it is hot.”
“Tha-anks,” Azzi moans out, clutching Paige’s hair as she finally attaches to a nipple. Her head falls back, relishing in the way Paige flicks her tongue, feeling so much better than Azzi’s own fingers ever could. She’s resorted many times to playing with herself while thinking of Paige, but it’s never the same. And maybe the knowledge of how good Paige is had begun slipping away from her, but it comes back now with sharp clarity as Paige suckles and then smooths down with the flat of her tongue.
Paige moves over to Azzi’s other breast, making sure to litter a few marks across her chest on the way, and she busies herself with removing Paige’s ponytail, fingers fumbling a few times around the hair tie before she gets it off. Paige chuckles against her when her hair falls loose around her shoulders, and Azzi smiles, too, watching through hooded eyes as Paige lifts her head to place a chaste kiss on her lips. “Can we take these off?” she asks, tugging at the waistband of Azzi’s sleep shorts.
Azzi nods, lifting her hips while Paige pulls them down, leaving her underwear on. It’s not exactly a cute pair—she didn’t prepare for sex when she woke up completely Paige-less this morning—but she can’t bring herself to be self-conscious about it.
“Mm,” Paige hums, dragging her lips down Azzi’s chest, to her navel, where the tip of her tongue pokes out, licking around her piercing. Turns out she likes it even more than Azzi thought she would. Azzi watches, lazily, while Paige presses open-mouthed kisses against her. She wants to urge her on but at the same time knows she needs to be patient, needs to let Paige take her time with her.
“Fuck,” Paige mumbles against her skin, then licks down to the hem of her underwear, kissing along it to nip at her hipbone. “Missed this so fucking much.”
“Baby,” Azzi breathes, watching Paige open her legs enough to settle between them, breathing hot and purposeful over Azzi’s clothed core.
“I know,” Paige mumbles, eyes locked on the wet patch on Azzi’s panties. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she brings a thumb to rub gently over Azzi’s clit, and it makes her hips push up for more. “I’ma eat you now, okay?” Paige says, looking up at her.
Azzi nods. “Please, P.”
Paige licks her lips, then presses them to the plush skin of her inner thigh, making quick work of pulling the panties off. As soon as she does, she spreads her open even wider, eyes hooded and mouth slightly open when she takes two fingers and spreads her folds. “Look at that,” she breathes, licking her thumb before using it to rub her clit in little circles. “She’s cryin’ for me, huh?”
“Fuck,” Azzi moans breathily when Paige nuzzles her nose up into her. Paige uses her free hand to press down on her abdomen, partly to keep her still and partly to make it feel better, and she tries to stay steady, resisting the urge to arch her hips up.
“Hold my hair, mama,” Paige says, and with shaking hands Azzi does, gathering her long hair away from her face. Glancing up at her, Paige licks a long stripe up her cunt as a reward. Azzi gasps desperately, gripping her hair a little more tightly and pulling her closer, urging her to do that thing she loves. And Paige gets it, smirking against her pussy before dipping her tongue into her hole, effectively drinking her up while her nose bumps against her clit. Head lulling back against the sheets, Azzi throws an arm over her face in a feeble attempt to keep quiet.
“Tastes so good,” Paige moans into her, mouth wide open as she sucks her folds into her mouth. “Missed this shit so bad, mama.”
“Mm-hmm,” Azzi whines, unable to respond or even really register the words with the way Paige is making such a mess of her, spit mixing with Azzi’s own juices, leaking down onto the bed.
Paige licks into her entrance again, the warm muscle exploring that spongy spot inside her and then going up to her clit and sucking it harshly into her mouth. Azzi bites down on her hand—otherwise, she’d sob.
When Paige looks up and catches her struggle, she smirks and wraps her arms around Azzi’s thighs, situating them over her shoulders and pressing a few tender kisses to Azzi’s clit. “So pretty, baby,” she mutters, and Azzi shivers when her hot breath hits her cunt. “Wanna do this forever.” She works her jaw, and Azzi barely has time to register what she’s doing before Paige spits on her, using her hand to rub it in, and then going in and licking it back up.
“P—“ Azzi chokes, scratching her nails roughly through Paige’s hair, holding her head close enough that she doesn’t move when her hips cant up. That warmth in her belly becomes tense, a familiar knot forming there, and her legs begin to shake.
“Close?” Paige asks, knowing all her tells.
Azzi nods urgently, pulling Paige’s head back down, gasping as she presses the flat of her tongue against her clit before flicking it at an impossible speed, her hips grinding up as she rides Paige’s face, head turning to the side to bury into her pillow.
“God, Paige—gonna come,” she says urgently, the feeling of Paige nodding against her only hurdling her closer, “fuck, love you so much. Love you so fucking much, gonna make me come, fu-uckkk!”
She thrashes, legs shaking impossibly hard as Paige licks her through it, her hand rubbing furiously at Azzi’s poor clit while she slurps up the arousal gushing from her, and she doesn’t stop until Azzi’s heels are kicking against her back, palm of her hand pushing at her forehead.
Even then, Paige gives her a last kiss on her clit before surging up to meet her lips, the kiss they share far too tender for what just happened.
“Missed that,” Paige whispers, smiling down at her when they separate.
“Fuck,” Azzi sighs, looking up at her girlfriend almost in disbelief. “Me, too.”
She combs her fingers gently through Paige’s hair, getting the knots, and Paige’s eyes flutter shut. Slowly, she lets her hands wander, down her shoulders, her chest, to her stomach. “Baby,” she whispers, watching Paige open her eyes slowly, “need to see you.”
Paige hesitates and for a moment Azzi thinks she might be too tired, but the next second she’s reaching behind her and pulling her t-shirt off. Azzi’s hands immediately go to those toned abs she loves so much, then up to Paige’s sports bra. “This, too.”
Obediently, Paige pulls the tight material over her head, tossing it along with the rest of their clothes. Azzi doesn’t take her time—can’t bring herself to, not now—bringing her hands up to Paige’s tits and squeezing them. Paige inches up, encouraging her, and Azzi lifts her mouth to one of her hands, separating her fingers to expose a nipple and taking it between her lips. Paige is quick to react, bracing herself on Azzi’s shoulders while she grinds down onto one of her thighs, and Azzi can feel the wetness through her sweats.
While her tongue works over the pert nipple, she lets her other hand wander back down Paige’s stomach, under her sweatpants, and when Paige grinds down encouragingly, she dips her fingers into her boxers. Using her pointer and ring fingers, she spreads her folds, then drags her middle finger up her sopping slit, groaning into her breast at the sheer amount of wetness she feels there.
“Az,” Paige breathes, bearing down on Azzi’s hand, but the angle is all wrong and she pulls of her tit with a pop.
Urging Paige off her lap, Azzi flips them over, knowing Paige would resist if she wanted to. But Paige is needy, hair a mess and lips swollen, chin still a little wet with Azzi’s arousal, baby blue’s wide as she stares reverently at her. “Lay back, baby,” she mutters, making quick work of the rest of Paige’s clothes once the girl obeys.
As soon as she’s naked, Azzi crawls over her, dipping her hand back between her legs, warm heat pooling at her fingers. “So wet, P. I make you like this?”
“Fuck, yes,” Paige replies, and it’s her turn to wrap her arms around Azzi’s shoulders, nails scratching a little when Azzi dips a finger into her hole.
“You want it?” Azzi asks, teasing, rubbing her thumb over Paige’s clit before going back down to her entrance.
“Need it,” Paige insists.
“Gonna be good for me?” Azzi murmurs, leaning down so she’s right by her ear, making Paige shiver. “Gonna be quiet, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Paige says, the submissive tone in her voice rare and so fucking sexy, “promise, baby.”
“Mm,” Azzi hums, relishing in the little noise Paige makes as she slides a finger inside her. Paige arches forward, burying her head in Azzi’s neck, and Azzi presses comforting kisses to her shoulder, shushing her gently. She pumps in and out a few times, getting her ready, before sliding another one in, and she loves the way Paige curls even further into her—not an inch of space between them. She wishes they could stay like this forever.
Starting out slow, Azzi goes in an out, spreading her fingers against the impossible tightness surrounding her fingers. She glances down between their bodies, but it’s hard to see—still, she can just make out Paige’s cunt sucking her fingers in eagerly, and she moans maybe a little too loud.
“Oh, oh,” Paige whines into her neck, clinging onto her as Azzi picks up speed, “don’t stop, so good.”
Azzi bites her lip, concentrating, and on her next thrust she hooks her fingers upward on the way out, letting them drag against that spongy spot deep inside, and Paige sobs, nodding feverishly.
Azzi pulls away, forcing Paige’s head out of her neck so they can look at each other. She uses her free hand to brush a damp strand of hair from Paige’s face. “Right there?”
“Yeah,” Paige breathes, obviously doing her best to be quiet, and Azzi thinks they’ll need to empty out the house tomorrow so they can do this again without so many restraints.
Azzi repeats the motion once, twice, and Paige’s eyes roll to the back of her head. Her thighs clench around Azzi’s hand, abs tightening—she’s getting close.
Nuzzling their noses together, Azzi brings her thumb to Paige’s clit and starts rubbing hard.
Paige cries out weakly. Azzi presses their lips together, regretfully swallowing every noise Paige makes, arm growing tired as she works her over, thrusting fast and hard now. Paige is writhing, hands keeping Azzi close as if she’s going to up and leave.
“Not going anywhere,” Azzi murmurs against her lips. “You okay?”
Paige moans. “Getting close—just…stay right here.”
“Okay, baby,” Azzi whispers. “Just relax, I got you. You’re okay.”
It works, Paige softening around the edges, jaw unclenching and legs falling open, eyes hooded and searching as they look into Azzi’s. Azzi nods at her, kissing her lips and then the tip of her nose, not once slowing the pace of her fingers. “Doing good, baby. Gonna come?”
“Yeah,” Paige breathes, nodding fervently. “So close.”
Azzi punctuates it with a particularly hard thrust, loving the way Paige whines for her. “Missed making you come,” Azzi groans, forehead dropping onto Paige’s. “Missed fucking you.”
Paige swallows thickly, supposedly swallowing down a particularly loud sound, and Azzi rubs at her clit to the point of abuse. Paige opens her mouth as if she’s about to say something but then her jaw goes slack and her eyebrows furrow and she’s coming, hard, choking on a moan, bottom lip trembling like she might cry.
Enthralled, Azzi watches, trying to commit everything to memory—the way Paige’s tits arch up, the way she throws her head back, the way she bites her swollen lips, the way tears form at the corners of her eyes but don’t fall. Azzi hadn’t realized quite how much she missed this until just now.
As Paige comes down, pushing Azzi’s wrist so she’ll pull out, Azzi settles herself gently on top of her, pressing kisses to her face and neck. Paige’s arms soothe down her back then back up, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.
“Good?” Azzi asks, giggling tiredly when Paige stares at her as if she hung the stars in the sky.
“Perfect,” Paige corrects, watching as Azzi lazily licks at her fingers, cleaning them off. “We can never be apart again, okay?”
“I can’t promise that.”
“I’ma—like, sneak you into my suitcase if I ever have to leave,” Paige insists, pulling Azzi down so she’s lying fully on top of her. “Gonna fuck you every day, I’on care.”
Azzi laughs, resting her cheek on Paige’s chest. “You’re an idiot.”
“Be quiet,” Paige says, pushing half-heartedly at her shoulder.
“Shit,” she says after a moment.
Azzi lifts her head to look quizzically at her. “What?”
“I really love your belly piercing.”
#pazzi#azzi fudd#pazzi fics#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#wcbb#wbb#pazzi smut#paige bueckers smut#azzi fudd smut#wlw smut#lilah’s works
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huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.
(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)
it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.
love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)
such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?
one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.
follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.
through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#illario#dragon age meta#*sighs and climbs back down into the dellamorte family feels and horror mines yet again right after breakfast* it's a living#when you're barely even getting to play the game because your brain is a boiling cauldron of feelings that need to be processed#between every time you can take anything new in fhsakjhfsda#head in hands. we do need to get him out of there is the thing. I think we kind of do need to do that. in some kind of way#(I do feel that the only thing that might drive him more than the fear of disappointing caterina is the fear of losing rook again#when romanced. so you know. there's every reason to hope. he has a solid support network of godkilling maniacs now#and some spaces he can go to to like. think and experience things that aren't all in her shadow. I think he'll get there)#lucanis greatest fears: 4) harding's cooking#3/2 shared place): bellara's fun little 'oooh but what if *worst thing that could ever happen to you illario fakeout betrayal and death#scenario* would that be fucked up or WHAT. (god.) 3/2 shared place) truly disappointing caterina and telling her no. 1) tfw no rook :'(
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Adam sfw/nsfw hcs? I love your work! Thanks!!
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
SFW
I'm gonna start off strong by saying socks and sandals. Thinks it's great.
Will stop listening when he's losing an argument. Stutters and minces up his words if he gets flustered or too aggravated.
Lute is his best friend
Says he has tons on friend but in reality lute is his only friend
This man thinks he's higher up in the food chain than he actually is. Which then leads to weak apologies from him
Doesn't go anywhere without his mask. Really big believer in that he doesn't like showing his face because both his wife's left him
Still absolutely bitter about that btw
Has an unhealthy coping mechanism when it comes to jealously.
For example, your an angel and some newbie starts talking with you and there's nothing really in it but he opens a portal to hell when your not looking and literally kicks the guy through it before closing the portal.
Or if your a sinner and you're telling him about someone who helped you the other day he will HUNT THEM DOWN next extermination day... If he can wait that long.
Likes getting you lil gifts, key chains, magnets, pins. He'll see a little thing and think that's perfect and wont hesitate buying it for you.
He won't give it to you though. He'll leave it somewhere obvious in his apartment for you to notice and go "oh, that's cute." For him to shrug and say "it's okay. You want it?" It took a while before you actually started accepting gifts this way
In public he will get you the biggest things. Giant teddy bear. New TV. A unicorn. But that's just to show everyone that he spoils you. That no one can treat you as well as him.
Loves lazy days
Also loves it when you preen his wings
Was the kinda guy that didn't have any kind of skin care until he met you and now you're both chilling with facemasks on.
Has panic attacks when he thinks you're going to leave him
When he's not wearing his mask he will not smile. It's really difficult to get him to smile or laugh when he's not wearing a mask.
But he's got the most beautiful smile
You managed you get him to laugh because you fell. What? He's still an asshole.
You couldn't be mad at him. He sounded so happy.
Has dumb pet names for everyone he's close to. Some are cute. Some are absolutely vulger. "Sweetness." "Babe." "Cutie" "cockwarmer." "Adam's dumpster." "Precious."
He's insecure AF baby
Loves hearing you say you love him
Will only tell you he loves you in private.
Would take a very special case for him to say it in public
If you get in a serious argument with him he'll run away in anger. He'll then come back after an hour or so begging you not to leave.
Sorry I really love pathetic Adam. fight me.
Smut below the cut! Minors dni
NSFW
Ik everyone says it's great at sex but I don't think he would be 🤷🏻♀️ not at the beginning anyway
I think he's a selfish lover and it takes someone he really cares about to make any changes
Would absolutely finish inside you then fall asleep soz babes
His cock is good tho. Likes it's a biggen. Length and width.
It was probably made to fit perfectly so
At least that's what he says
He won't believe it if you dont orgasm the first time you have sex with him. Everyone else has! Why wouldn't you?!
Well, Adam, they lied, sweetie.
Loves getting his cock sucked.
Asks for it constantly
If he gets in an argument with you he'll probably say "I'm sorry, it's just been so long since I got head."
He loves eating you out. Watching you squirm while his tongue is inside you really gets him going.
Likes you have you sat on his face so he can hold you down
He cried the first time he had sex with you after realising he loves you
Will beg to be loved when he's close to finishing. "Tell me you love me!"
Will get embarrassed after the fact
He was adamant he didn't like you. That you were just hot. But one day found himself jerking to the thought of you and that post nut clarity hit like a freight train.
Loves being praised ofc
Breeding kink. I mean come on. He was made to populate the earth. It was literally his job.
Loves rough sex, being in charge.
Will get possessive during sex
If he's having a bad day he'll be a lot more desperate and a hell of a lot more possessive
"mine" is his favourite word.
~♡✧。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧♡~
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin adam#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel adam x reader#hazbin hotel smut#adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam smut
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Hiiiii! I just stumbled across your blog and I’m in love. (Me rn-😍😍😍) Anywayssss, would you be willing to do some sfw/nsfw head-cannons for the seven demon brothers from obey me? If not all seven Asmo, Beel, Belfie, and Levi are my faves! Thanks so much in advance if you don’t want to do this I completely understand and my feelings won’t be hurt.
Please remember to drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest. With luv, Madzzz. 💜💜💜
^^^^Btw this is me manifesting you see this^^^^
omgg ofc i can!! (try-) alsoo thanks for the whishes, staying healthy is super important, so you should too! :D <3 gn!mc x the demon bros ;) considering the fact that you havent specified the gender of the mc im doing gender natural if thats ok- ok! so! sfw and nsfw hcs!!
so sorry if this wont be what you were hoping :(
Lucifer
🩷sfw🩷
can we all agree that this guy when he gets drunk he becomes clingy af?
he just sends you a bunch of messages telling you to come over
and when you do come over he's just laying in bed there, eyes half closed and face red.
anyway you get the point. when Lucifer gets drunk he wants to cuddle you for a few good hours
drunk times aside- normally your actual dates are more active.
by which I mean either you two talk about random stuff or Lucifer takes you somewhere
❤️nsfw❤️
the only time I think Luci will be willing to get fucked is when he's drunk. but you do need his consent waaay beforehand. as you should irl too
other then that he doms all the time.
I feel like he'd be into bdsm
i kinda think he'll be into rope stuff. he seems like the type who'd want to tie you up, but also in a pretty way ;)
also spanking.
Mammon
🩷sfw🩷
the typa guy who'd give you gifts saying he "coincidently" found it(asifhewasntlookingforthebestthingtogiveyou) and the moment someone sees you with it and asks about it and you say that it's from your boyfriend he becomes the happiest ever <3
also is really into pda, like he won't admit it- but he NEEDS to hold your hand in public. how else will people know you are his???
Mams is also really into kisses. like any kisses really- forehead kisses, cheek kisses, hand kisses, nose kisses ANY KISSES
unfraternally he'll sometimes come to you to ask to borrow money.... but he'll get you back
with a kiss on the cheek and the possibility of taking your walking privilege...
❤️nsfw❤️
switch, leaning to sub
the last thing I said about your walking privilege is true. Mammon thinks he just needs to fuck you hard enough as payback for letting him borrow some money
and with the stamina he has, it's totally enough to fuck your brains out ;)
I think he's into cuffs, won't matter if it's on him or on you, but if they go on his hands it has to be roleplay
what roleplay? cop stuff :3
Mams acts as an inmate or robber who just got caught, and you as a cop who is arresting him or punishing him
kinky stuff ya know?
I feel like he'd be into getting his cock milked as you ride him for hours upon hours
maybe has a choking kink? towards him I mean- he's too scared to choke you to death.. but there is a possibility that he'll choke you when he fucks you out of jealousy
Leviathan
🩷sfw🩷
gaming dates <3
canonically Levi isn't really one to like going outside so it makes sense that he'd prefer to hang in his or your room (mostly in his)
it'll take him some time until he'll actually be comfortable to be all touchy and physical.
but i like to think that even then he'd be more simple and not all clingy
aquarium dates ♡ once in a while, when he's actually ready for the outside world
he finds aquarium dates to be a little bit fun once or twice a year
but yeah it's mostly just gaming dates and dates where you watch anime and such-
AND cosplay dates
mostly ruri cosplay dates, but still cosplay dates as a whole ♡
❤️nsfw❤️
like with physical touch it'll take him a long time until he'll be ready for sex
he'll be all blushy and, sorry, kinda sweaty when sex is mentioned.
he's just so not used to it :(
LEVI IS A SUB.
well switch technically- but he's more in the being fucked out of his mind position then the fucking you out of your mind position
but how do you get him in a domy mood? probably either by making him jealous, or in a more competitive mood.
what do i mean? well just egg him on, tell him that you can totally win this game round, and the next one, and the next one. well you gotta win for it to actually work- but still. the more you do it the more upset he is
it doesn't work all the time, but he has a bit of a competitive side ;)
he's a kinda kinky guy, he'd probs be into things like tons of praise but with a mix of humiliation (to both sides)
like if you were to tell him that he's been soo good for you and what he does is probably sit on the floor while his mouth and face is being used for you to get off
Satan
🩷sfw🩷
reading dates :D
can happen in his/your room, but can also happen out in a cat cafe or a park outside :3
and if you aren't a person who likes to read Satan is willing to read for you once in a while
you and him will definitely take in cats without Lucifer's agreement, you'll just keep them in Satan's room or your's and take care of them there.
you, him and Belphie are out to get Luci. and if it's just the two of you without Belphegor it feels like a date idea for Satan :p
from time to time you'll hear Satan talk on and on about different research stuff that he's into for the time being
and you'll tots be hearing this guy talk a lot about his detective books
❤️nsfw❤️
cockwarming while Satan reads.
is there more to say? like do ya'll need an explanation????
this is getting in a more kinky-noteverydaykinks territory but can we agree that Satan is into collars?
it just seems right idk. like it won't matter to him who's wearing it- he likes wearing them, and seeing them on his s/o
another switch, i mean i like to think that most of them are switches.. but like I'll still say it every time.
leaning into dom territory, but he won't mind being fucked into oblivion
angry sex. who knows what might've started it but if he needs to take out his anger on something your hole will be number 1 (ofc he you say you dont want to he wont- everything is consensual)
also into roleplay stuff, probs petplay. kinky stuff
Asmodeus
🩷sfw🩷
first thing I'm going to say is painting nails dates. spa dates. any beauty care dates will happen.
and you can't escape it :)
he WILL post you on any of his social medias with captions that say things like "look at my lover ♡ aren't they the cutest!?" :3
I think Asmo will be the type of person who'd like to get gifts as a receiving love language, and as a giving love language it'll be physical touch
i feel like as a whole he likes being physical, I mean have you seen this guy?? but I think he feels more special when you buy or make him gifts <3
❤️nsfw❤️
THE KINKIEST GUY EVER
like he literally is the avatar of lust. like doesn't that make him kinky enough??????
switch and it's literally is 50/50 with sub and dom with him
toys. toys all the way. when he doms he uses toys, when he subs he uses toys. toys are something he really likes
of course there will be times when he doesn't want to use them and really get more lovey dovey ♡
during sex you two may switch between sub and dom at least once.
Beelzebub
🩷sfw🩷
shares with you anything he wants to eat ♡
it'll probably be half eaten if he already has his hands on it but he tries his best to control himself so you'd at least have even the smallest of bites <3
he sometimes accidentally bites you, like not super hard and painful but there are times it leaves a mark-
can and will give you piggyback rides if you ask him
when you two go to a restaurant and in typical Beelzebub fashion he eats too much and the bill is huge he'll tell you he'll be the one paying, even for your share.
COOKING DATES!!!!!!!!
sure he might eat half of the ingredients- but he'll try his best to not eat it all so you two can have a finished product ♡
❤️nsfw❤️
I know everyone says this but it's true. this guy eats you out like a pro.
and it doesn't matter if you have a pussy, a cock or anything else- it doesn't matter. he knows how to put his mouth to good use. and he can go FOR HOURS and not get tired. it's like his favorite thing♡
we all know this man is packing. probably has the biggest dick of them all(maybe diavolo's is bigger who wants to help me measure :))
and he's so sweet when you try to take him ♡ ♡ ♡
he'll tell you things like "You can do it" "I know..it is pretty big...but you took it before!" with such a sweet smile you know he says this not to make fun of you, but because he actually thinks you can take his huge cock ♡
Beel will proooobably lose control and kinda start fucking you like an animal in heat after a few while of fucking
but after that he does such nice aftercare!
Belphegor
🩷sfw🩷
naps all the way :3
you are the pillow. you can't say anything but yes.
I like to think that he has dreams about you, and if he dreams of something that he's actually willing to do in real life he'll ask you if you'd like to do it :D
when you two do go out he likes to hold your hand, for more then just pda. he might fall asleep while standing and walking from time to time, so you can notice if he fell asleep or not.
do you know what I think you two might do? go to bed stores and try out the beds :3
❤️nsfw❤️
sadistic fuck. (affectionate)
he's a dom, even when he's half asleep.
I think he'd kinda tell you to ride him even when it looks like he's about to fall asleep, and the moment you stop he's immediately awake telling you to continue
will degrade you, like he's real mean
he does like the idea of chocking you but ya know.. might take a while....probs a few years-
well anything too dangerous will take a few years until he feels like he can actually do anything to you..
he's into anything that can and will humiliate you
he'd be into somnophilia but towards himself
maybe towards you? with consent ofc but mostly towards himself
why? cuz he can and will fall asleep during sex. and if it's something like you riding him he'd be totally fine with you still going even when he falls asleep.
#lucifer obey me#obey me x reader#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me shall we date#obey me smut#obey me beelzebub smut#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me belphegor smut#obey me satan smut#obey me lucifer smut#obey me mammon#obey me mammon smut#obey me leviathan smut#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmodeus smut
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BOOK OF BILL WEBSITE CHANGE
this contains MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WEBSITE CHANGE. if you want to find shit urself, dont read this!!!
also this is part one of probably many bc i cant fit everything in here. curse you image limit
i wont be going over alot of the not as important stuff, but still go explore the website for it because i got alot of good laughs!
RIGHT OFF THE BAT. In the top right corner of the screen when the lightning flashes, there are words revealed carved in the wall. it reads: VALLIS CINERIS. when this is typed into the computer it gives this video:
haunting. really giving me analog horror vibes. wasnt sure what else to do with this though.
I also noticed that on the candle in the right side of the desk, there is a code
this is decoded used the rune code, and translates into CURSED. when put into the computer, this is what is given back:
interesting.
One of the first things me and my friends did was go through the main characters names. the most interesting one of these for me is definitely Stanley, but i want to go over Pacifica first because Stanleys is LONG.
When you type in Pacifica you get this:
I love her signature btw. BUT if you type in Platinum Paz, you get somethin very, very interesting.
This may not be in the right order so forgive me, but at the end of that code, if you use a shift decoder (im so smart sue me)
it says: "STAY AWAY FROM HER CIPHER. SHE HAS THE PROTECTION OF THE LUMBERFOLKS SPIRITS"
pacificas character development has always been special to me, and this was honestly chilling. in the book of bill we see that she has nightmares about the lumberjack, and this shows how much guilt she carries. her finally finding her peace with what happened made me smile :)
but as nice and heartwarming as this is, were moving on to STANLEY PINES! and oh BOY are the stanley lovers having a field day. so first of all, if you type in Stanley, it will take you to a few different links. including gold chains, brass knuckles, an 8 ball cane, a fez, and a colonel neck tie. funny right? if you keep entering his name, this pops up:
Below this is a bunch of things with the label of being shameful. one of them is very interesting but im gonna put some lighter stuff first for the sillies.
i need alex to show us the photos from the hunky drifters catalogue alex can you hear me please i mean WHO SAID THATTTT WHO SAID THATTTTTT
ALSO NO ONE COMING TO HIS FAKE FUNERAL EXCEPT HIS MOM :( she loved her little free spirit stanley
ALSO- him stripping for flour in Tijuana, again, i need photographic evidence.
his ex wives list also made me giggle. he was MARRIED TO OLD GOLDIE????? also Marilyn being Eda made me giggle, i love the fact that they got married at some point. get them back together please. also stan having smaller hands than ford and being self-conscious about it stan i love you mwah mwah mwah
ALSO FILBRICK TRYING TO SELL STAN FOR GETTIN AN F- PLEASE
anyways now onto the section at the bottom of the Wheel of Shame page!
Its titled : HOW HE BEAT ME. im not adding a photo bc ur guy is running out of room :(
you have to click on this repeatedly to get anything good out of it, so i took the liberty of milking it for all it had!!! i didnt take screenshots of everything because some of it was redundant, but here are the interesting and or funny bits:
just reiterating, this is not all thats in there, im just putting parts that stood out to me. please take the time to go through all this urself bc its a TREAT.
now into the crazier stuff
hes obviously having some sort of breakdown, just like we see at the end of the book of bill. the last page i decoded myself, and i got this using all the different decoders:
"THROUGH LQS SFSE CN EVERYONE IVE EVER"
for "LQS SFSE CN" i used the original bill cipher code, and im not sure why it gave me this. a smarter, better decoder probably has the answer.
i can theorize a few different things on what this could possibly mean even with it not being all decoded. the one that comes to mind is "I can still see through everyone ive ever met" maybe knowing too much? but without the middle part decoded i cant say much. if you have the solution for this please leave a comment as any help would be greatly appreciated. this all did drop a few hours ago so i doubt many people are working on decoding all this.
UPDATE!! I TRANSLATED IT WRONG.
IT SAYS “THROUGH THE EYES OF EVERYONE IVE EVER”
this makes alot more sense. bill can see through others eyes so it most likely is refering too how he possesses people and sees through their eyes. In the book of bill he shows how angry he is having to watch the Pines family be happy.
It says that when he closes his eye, he can still see through the eyes of everyone hes ever…possesed? probably. So can Bill still see through Ford, or maybe Dipper, and he cant turn it off. Whenever he closes his eyes he is haunted by the happy life he failed to destroy. To see through their eyes.
This poem using gambling as a way to describe Stan's life choices really struck me. the more i thought on it the more it made sense. he gambled that Ford's project would probably still work, gambled with all of his sham products. His entire life has been a betting game. The most interesting thing about all this is the end of the poem. It reads
"IM STILL ON YOUR MIND"
this has been a theory for awhile in the gravity falls community that if stan got back all his memories, including ones about bill, wouldnt bill come back? for me this confirms the theory, and opens up a whole new can of worms which i will talk about later.
I have reached my image and video limit, but expect more posts!
stay weird yall :)
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#fiddleford mcgucket#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#decoding#weird#this took me an hour dont flop#save me stan
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Can u pls do the main four x a fem reader who bottles up all their emotions and pretends to be happy and one day they find the reader crying all by themselves. Sry if it wasn't clear. Btw I LOVE 🩷 ur work it is awesome.
Hii everyone!! Thank you so much for requesting!! I am glad oyu enjoy my work <33 I would like to apologize again for how long this took =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪‧̣̥̇) I have no excuse for myself, and also I still have a lot of requests to do so stay tuned <33 (itll probably take long but shush)
Might be OOC!! and is short!! :((
cw: mentions of toxic family members, no use of y/n, use of she/her pronouns but really minimal since i mostly use 'you'
ʟᴇᴏʀɪᴏ, ᴋᴜʀᴀᴘɪᴋᴀ, ᴋɪʟʟᴜᴀ, ɢᴏɴ (sᴇᴘᴀʀᴀᴛᴇ) x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
It was at that moment knew, you messed up, at least in your eyes.
・・・・・
Some minutes ago, you got a call from your lovely family member, just friendly chit chat right? Wrong!! Again and again it turned against you. It always ends like this. No matter what you try, you will never be enough for them. And lately there has been so much going on too...
・・・・・
And that is why you ended up bawling your eyes out besides the bed in your current accomodation, with him next to you.
ʟᴇᴏʀɪᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪɴɪɢʜᴛ
A sob left your throat and you looked at him with teary eyes. Why did he even bother to stay? Yes, he is different to you. He cares, but he cares enough to stay? To stay when you are at your lowest. You turn to take a look at him.
"Why are you still here?"
You sniffle as you slightly lean into his gentle touch on your back. He only continues caressing you gently, and then leans in to gently wrap his arms around you.
"I am here for you because i care...silly"
And so, he stayed by your side for a long time. Enough for you to partially calm down. Everything is good now. He's here.
ᴋᴜʀᴀᴘɪᴋᴀ ᴋᴜʀᴛᴀ
As you sob softly- actually not softly at all, you bawl your eyes out, after finally breaking down your oh so happy facade you always let on, you might actually hear someones steps towards you, slowly pushing your head upwards to look at the unwanted intruder.
"Oh...not him please...he can't see me like this"
You thought, but it was too late. He has already sat down beside you, worried. Why was a person that is so dear to him, crying on the floor, looking as if their whole family got murdered, their cat got ran over and they lost all their money due to gamling. Which, obviously, isn't true, but you might or might not look like that.
He silently sat next to you. Keeping you company, occasionally caressing your back. After all, thats what you did when he was in your place.
ɢᴏɴ ғʀᴇᴇᴄss
When Gon saw you, his best friend, bawling their eyes, not just because they watched a sad reel, or a sad movie, perhaps a sad book. No. No sign of that around. He knew something must have happened. And so he approaches you without a second thought, crouching down beside you.
"Hey...what's wrong?"
But you continue sobbing! he just wants to help, but how. And then he leaves! Really? Why does everyone leave you? That doesn't even sound like Gon. But then he returns. Carrying a bunch of snacks...such a sweet gesture right? And!! He stayed.
ᴋɪʟʟᴜᴀ ᴢᴏʟᴅʏᴄᴋ
It's not as if he knew what to do when he saw you breaking down right infront of him, even if you didn't know about him. It is not as if he got a lot of comfort when he was a kid ya know? Yet, he tries. He stays. And speak gently into your ear, how it's all gonna be okay. How he wont leave. How he will stay.
Later, when you calm down, he will awkwardly offer you some of his choco robots, not much tho!! It's still his after all....
#hunter x hunter#hxh killua#killua x reader#killua zoldyck#hxh#niko niko writes#hunter x hunter killua#hunter#killua hunter x hunter#hunter exam#killua zoldyck x reader#killua hxh#gon freecss x reader#gon x reader#gon hxh#gon freecss#kurapika kurta hxh#kurapika kurta#kurapika kurta x reader#leorio#kurapika x reader#kurapika hxh#leorio paladinight x reader#leorio paradinight#leorio paladiknight#leorio hxh#hxh leorio#leorio x reader
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