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dilf-docs · 1 month ago

Text

It Always Leads To You

joel miller x younger fem!reader

summary: it's been a year; now you're back. how can joel be so sure of those old summer feelings in your eyes when there's a new hand holding yours?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, toxic relationship, cheating and infidelity themes, mutual pinning, kinda dark!joel, smut, p. in v., pussy pronouns, oral (f. receiving), fingering, manhandling, lowkey forced creampie, ANGST, the taylor swift evermore (2020) references go wild, happy ending cause y'all weak asses voted for it and i love to keep my citizens happy!

word count: 5,199 words

side note: my joel miller era is alive and breathing after this tlou re-watch i'm doing my brother swears it's for him but it's mostly me and my fic/womanly reasons, yes we love gaslight girlkeep girlbossing in here gotta say, finding inspiration for this amidst my wattpad duties and christmas movie marathon was harder than i thought lol. was it worth the wait? please like, comment and reblog to let me know! it's based on this request (they're still open btw!)

part: I / II

Holidays linger like bad perfume.

Your eyes wander through the streets: the roads you've got to call home, the ones where you grew up. They're familiar, but so foreign, it's hard to believe they're the same ones where you scrapped your knees at ten and kissed Joel just last winter. It's as if both timelines, your life, feels more like two separate lives, miles apart.

"Hey, you okay?" tender, from the driver's seat; you're still getting used to the soft.

There's a reassuring smile your way, his hand finding yours to give it a squeeze. You notice his palm is the same size as yours. It fits perfectly, but there's a ghost of what it feels like to have it all wrapped up, looming over your itchy palm like all the yearning's a joke.

You nod. "Just tired. That's all"

He sighs. "If I wanted you to lie to me, I would've just asked"

"I'm not lying" you defend yourself as his pickup truck parks on the sidewalk.

He makes a funny face, and you laugh.

"I'm serious, Nick" your lips purse, a thing you do when you lie, yet he still hadn't noticed, like Joel. "Don't worry"

He doesn't look that convinced, so you take off your seat belt and grab his hand.

"C'mon. Mom and dad must be waiting for us"

"Hey" Nick calls you out.

"Yeah?"

"Who lives there?" and he's pointing behind you.

It's his. Joel's house.

"A friend of my dad's" you answer, dryly.

It was last december when you stood there in his porch, begging. It feels like time has stopped ever since, and you're still right where he left you.

"So will he be here?" Nick asks. "You know, since he knows your dad"

"Don't think so" you shrug, "he's got better things to do anyway. Bitter old man" comes out, with more venom than intended.

"Oh! Alright, sorry for asking"

You come back to your senses, realizing you've shared more than you should.

"No, I'm sorry. It's not that important; let's just go inside"

Your mom and dad greet you as soon as you cross the door. Last year, you'd basically fled away before New Year's, with a poor excuse and a broken heart. They both greet you as if nothing happened, although you're sure they remember your tear streamed face coming back from Joel's house, where it all ended.

As your mom corners Nick with kisses and embarrassing questions, your dad whispers to you:

"Joel asked what happened" you quirk and eyebrow, "wanted to know why you left"

"Eh, it's not important" you try to dismiss. "Definitely not as important for a guy like Joel to know"

"What is that supposed to mean?" your dad inquires. You often wonder if they knew.

"Nothing" you laugh nervously. "Listen, why don't you go and meet Nick, yeah? Did you know he likes fishing too?"

The distraction works with your dad; the same can't be said about you.

There's conversation flowing, but through the snow covered window, your eyes keep glancing back to his own. The view is dark, and you ponder if he's fled as well, the town plagued with memories too painful to reminisce.

You can still feel his hands roaming your body, the lust filled gaze that hid warmth. Every time he touches you, you have to remind you he isn't there: that the lips that kiss you, don't taste like his, that the hands that hold you, aren't big as his, and that the face that looks at you like they'll never choose another, is one you haven't learned to love yet.

Joel's memory cuts like thorns: they sink their teeth into your heart, that bleeds with that blood-colored sadness you're all too familiar with. He's poisoned you. But-- isn't it his love also the antidote for this disease he's gave you?

You abruptly stand up, plate half eaten.

"I-I need some air"

It's cold outside, but you don't care. All you want to do is sit on the porch, and drop some tears, something you can do inside too, but the fear of your muffled cries being able to be heard stops you.

You walk towards the stairs, to sit there like you do on summer days, yet there's now a difference: the snow. So you end up slipping, falling with your butt on the floor.

You yelp, embarrased although no one can see you.

"Need help?"

That you're wrong, apparently.

You don't even need to raise your view to know who that voice belongs to: you know it like a record, spinning in circles on your head.

He offers his strong hand your way, and although the cold wind hits your face, you're back to spring on the cabin: wet feet, bright sun and beating heart.

"I can get up myself" you reject his help, pushing the hand out. You keep avoiding his gaze, so you don't see how he's reacted, yet you hope he feels bad about it.

You walk up to the front door, and it takes you a while to realize he hasn't left yet. On top of that, it seems like he's following you. Just what you needed.

"What are you doing here?" you question, but your tone sounds like you're offended.

"Your folks invited me over" Joel answers, "Says they got a special guest"

"Yeah" this time, you do look back, finding him to be much closer than you thought he'd be. Yet you stand tall, defiant even. "It's my boyfriend"

You savour the way his expression falters, before the stoic façade takes over again.

"Boyfriend?" Joel scoffs, as if you just told the funniest joke ever.

"Is that supposed to be funny?" you bite back. "What? Think a pretty girl can't get a new man?"

"Never said I'd doubt'it" he clicks his tongue. "Y'a could get any man you'd want, sugar"

Ironically, the only man you want stands before you.

"Right" you chuckle dryly, "I think it's kind of funny of you to say that"

Joel's eyes bore into yours, a clash of emotions circling in his chocolate orbs.

"Y/n-"

"Don't" you stop him. Then sigh, defeated. "Let's just go inside"

As soon as you both arrive on the dinning room, your parents both greet Joel. Then, they introduce him to their guest, just as promised.

"Joel, this is Nick, y/n's boyfriend" your father speaks. "Nick, this is Joel, a dear old friend of mine"

Nick, as the gentleman he is, offers his hand. Joel accepts, but you can see the barely desguised displease behind his eyes.

"Wow, strong grip" Nick comments before joking, "you can let go now, I'm not going anywhere"

The hidden meaning of his words, whether intentional or not, hit Joel in the face. It's obvious by the way he backtracks, letting go of Nick's hand.

As you sit again, Nick leans to your side and whispers.

"Is this the guy who lives in the house across the street?" you nod. "Thought you'd said he had better plans. But, see? I told you: no plan's more important than coming to your house"

He's always making jokes, trying to make you smile, but it's done the opposite now. The food has gone cold long ago, yet you cut through the meat with a violence so palpable, even your mom tells you to slow down.

The nerve of Joel, showing up to your house like it's nothing, talking to you like he's unaware of his spell on you, acting like Nick is some sort of competition when he pulled out of the race himself a winter ago.

"So, Nick. How did you two meet?" your mom adresses him, eager to know details.

"It was at a party, actually, through mutual friends. Not a very spectacular story, that I know. What's funny is, she asked me what hour it was. And what did I say?"

"He didn't answer my question. Instead, he said: For you, I'm available any hour" you answer.

Your parents laugh, but Joel remains quiet. You wonder what he's thinking.

"You know" looking at Nick while cutting the steamed vegetables a little too agressive, "y/n actually hates parties"

"Joel" you warn through gritted teeth.

"Really? I didn't know that!" Nick seems so genuine, Joel can't help but hate him. He looks at you, concerned "You didn't tell me"

You can't believe he would rat you out like that. The appropiate word isn't hate, and you don't know how to describe it, but parties aren't really your environment; if you can, you'd choose to be anywhere else.

He'll pay for that.

"Joel" you seethe, an ugly smile painted in your features, "did you know Nick knows how to fish?"

It's a direct jab at him. He feels stupid for letting you get to him. The inferiority complex towards some random guy he just met, years younger, is actually laughable.

"I like-" Nick wants to add on that.

"Well" Joel interrupts, looking at you. "You never taught me like ya' were s'pposed to"

"You never cared to learn" you reply, acidic.

He sips his drink, trying to hide the smirk that's formed on his lips. You can't shut up, and he loves you've stayed the same.

"That means I've got some classes to take" Joel leans back on his chair, relaxed like he's won this round. "Just tell me when"

The tension cuts like the storm that's just formed outside.

"You should stay over, Joel" your dad offers when he takes a peak at the climate, "it's too dangerous outside"

Joel seems indestructible, like not even a snow blizzard could pierce through the rough old man. But he agrees, much to your dismay.

It's probably midnight already, and all you've done is toss around the bed. Nick peacefully snores next to you, and you envy how easily he falls asleep. You've always find it hard to sleep, the nighttime plagued with too many loud thoughts that fill the silence.

You get up carefully, heading downstairs for some water. You sip with tranquility when a noise jolts you from your sit.

The wooden floor creaks, making you aware you're not alone anymore.

"Can't sleep?"

You don't answer, seeing his sturdy figure emerge from the shadows until the dim moonlight shines over his aging features. Silence settles in. Outside, the wind howls, bumping against the windows with violence, like your heart does now against your chest.

"Not much of a talker, are you?"

"There's nothing to talk" cuts your response through the thick tension, the air suddenly suffocating.

You take another sip, but the tremble of your hand doesn't go unnoticed by Miller.

"Right" Joel sits next to you, on the kitchen island. "Won't even look at me, sugar? You've got eyes" his voice drops, "use 'em"

"What are you doing, Joel?" you ask looking at him, tears threatening to spill, making your bright eyes shimmer with pain.

He gets up abruptly, like he's woken up from a trance. He's seen his own pain on your eyes, and he hates it.

"Joel?" you ask again, demanding but softly.

He can't answer. Instead, he leaves.

"Goodnight, y/n" voice raw, many emotions boiling, hidden on the inside. It hurts.

If you hadn't changed, Joel too stayed the same.

A goddamn coward.

Two days have passed since, and now it's Christmas Eve.

You kneel, putting the presents under the tree. Normally, your parents would have much more people around for the holidays, but thanks to the storm, it's just them, Nick, Joel and you.

"I'm gonna miss Mrs. Stone's cookies" you pout, "I wish she could be here"

"It's a big loss for tonight" your dad sighs. "Next time, yeah? Christmas will come again faster than you think"

You nod, still absent as he walks away.

"Hey" Joel pops up behind, seemingly from nowhere.

"Hey" you reply, voice laced with tiredness just at the sight of him. How will you manage to survive until New Year's? You have no idea, the task harder if he's staying in the same house as you are.

"Put this in there, will ya'?"

He hands you a box, neatly wrapped up. What stands out the most is the silver bow on top. Your stomach drops: it's your favorite color.

"Y-yeah" you stammer. When the present falls in your hands, you notice it looks like Joel did it himself.

"Didn't know you were capable of nice things" you whisper. There's no anger in your voice, only loss.

"I'm trying" is what he says, before leaving you alone. Until then, you realize he had been touching you, the skin where his hand was on your shoulder burning.

Dinner goes by swiftly, conversation flowing easily courtesy of Nick and your father, who both have in common the love for talking. It may be your brain messing with you, but his eyes never leave you, fixated on your every move, savoring when your lips open and take a bite; when you lick them afterwards, salt in your mouth he'd love to take off in a movement of his tongue. The ghost of your lips haunts him, cruelly playing with his yearning now that he's got you across the table. It's a few centimeters, really, but it feels like you're miles away: and it's his fault. You're no longer his, and he's reminded of it every time your boyfriend kisses what he once had.

Now it's time to open the presents, and you excitedly raise your hand to go first.

"Alright, sweetheart. You know I can't deny you anything" your father beams, "go ahead. Choose any present you'd like to open first"

Joel's eyes are on you, and you know he's desperately waiting for you to open his first. Maybe partly in courage, maybe partly in fear, but you choose Nick's first: something safe to start with.

"That's mine!" he chirps, and Joel mockingly imitates his kid-like joy under his breath.

You unwrap the present, finding a small box inside.

"Please, don't be another box" you joke, and he laughs.

"You think that low of me? Please"

You keep unwrapping and find a bag. The bag has a small tag that reads: Gotcha.

"Nick! God, you're so corny" you tease as you open the bag. Inside, there's a velvet box, and by the looks of it, you can tell it's jewelry. You gasp, pulling out a silver charm tied to a silver thin chain: it's a marlin fish. "Nick..."

"I know. Marlin isn't your favorite fish, but that's all I could find" you get up, wrapping him on a tight hug. Aware you've got an audience, he leans and whispers "I knew fishing was special to you, because of your dad and childhood. Maybe now" he takes it from your hands, carefully putting it around your neck, "it can also be our special thing"

Joel sees the scene unfold in front of him, his grip tight on the cloth of his jeans until it's white. His jaw clenches at the affection display; all he sees is red.

"What about that one?" your mom points out Joel's present. A pit of nerves forms in your stomach. "I don't remember seeing it there"

Before you can grab it, your dad moves faster, examining the box on his hands.

"It's Joel's" he makes a pause, "for y/n"

You pretend to be shocked, and you can tell Nick tenses at your side.

"You didn't tell me you were close"

"Used to" you correct quickly, despite the knot on your throat. "Not anymore"

"He still got you a present, though"

You don't get to answer because your dad leaves the box on your lap.

"Open it" it's soft but feels threathing for some reason, "I'm curious"

Joel's resting hands tremble as much as yours while you open the present. You reveal the simple white box under the wrap, opening it up.

Your voice comes out shaky as you call his name. And he can see it: the muffled laughters on the shed, the warmth of the cabin's fire, the fogged up windows of his car, the bruises on your tits and that voice, so vulnerable, he can see you on his porch, saying those three words that terrified him so much, his solution was breaking your heart.

"What is it?" your dad asks.

"It's a scarf" the fabric tickles your fingers that wander through the loose strands.

You remember it all too well.

"Oh, it's vintage!" your mom comments when she sees the worn-out aspect.

But just as your affair with Joel, you keep the secret of it's real owner.

"It's perfect" you mutter, remembering better times: ones where he'd wrap the scarf colored as the leaves on the ground around your neck, covering bruises he'd just made while you joked you'd steal it, and Joel would say he'd just let you, that it looked better on you anyway.

You've forgotten the good, so used to thinking of Joel at your worst, like a punishment to endure and sink your shipwreck even deeper. You felt lost, replaying memories that seemed stuck on a loop. Since last december, all you've known is pain; creeping up through the cracks in your fleeting happiness, one you've tried to find to no avail. One day, past the curses and cries, maybe there'll be happiness. But as for now, that day seems terribly far.

As he sees your teary gaze, Joel often wonders were it went wrong. When did hurt was all you had for him in that gaze of yours he can't bare to look that long, not before he's reliving all those seasons by your side, replaying his footsteps on the snow, grass, water and fallen leaves, trying to find the one where it all went wrong. The torture he now wears like a second skin, his agony painted words addressed to the fire of a house that feels so empty and alone.

"We should continue" your dad speaks over the silence, "there are still many presents left"

The night moves slowly, and the scarf you've chosen to wear is now suffocating around your neck. But you can't take it off. This is the closest you've been to Joel on a year; it still smells like him. As the presents run out, you excuse yourself early to bed, only to wake up again in the middle of the night. You want to pee, so you exit your room and walk to the bathroom, your bare feet against the cold wood sending shivers down your spine that only seem to augment when you walk past his door, next to the bathroom. After being done, you splash some water on your face, as if that would make some sense get to you.

"What are you doing?" you ask yourself in the mirror. Your tired reflection stares back at you, in silence.

You open the door, ready to go back to bed when a hand covers your mouth and shoves you inside.

"Don't scream" your cries go muffled against his hand, the calloused digits pressing against your soft skin, "wanna wake 'em up?"

You shake your head, so he lets your mouth free.

"Joel" you call out, but he's facing the door, his back all you see. No sound can be heard, aside from his uneven breaths.

"I'm sorry" he says, and then you hear the small click of the door's lock.

"What the hell?"

This time, he faces you, but his movements are so quick you don't register his lips on yours until it's too late. He kisses you like a starved man who hasn't had a meal in years, eating you out while your body acts up on it's own, the urgency embarrasing even.

"No" you pull back. Your mind screams in guilt at how much you want this, and that's all you can hear aside from his ragged breaths.

"No?"

"It isn't fair"

"To lover boy out there?" he teases, "I know he ain't treating you right, or ya' wouldn't look me the way ya' do"

"Don't, Joel" your tone is icy, "Nick treats me better than you ever could"

He laughs, darkly. "You know I ain't meant that" he corners you against the sink, the material cold against your bare legs; you don't sleep with nothing but an oversized t-shirt, despite the weather.

"Riddle me this, sugar: if he treats you so well, why are you so fucking wet?"

Your heart beats so fast you fear you'll die. He gets closer, his hot breathe prickling against your ear.

"It takes a man to please a woman" he tucks a loose strand behind your ear, "and I ain't leaving my baby displeased"

His fingers pull down the panties until your clit is exposed.

"Look at 'er" he traces a teasing finger over the puffy skin, coated on your slick "missed me, didn't she? Gonna treat 'er so good, she won't ever feel lonely again"

He softly kisses your neck, the trepidation and regret tying your stomach in knots.

Joel teases your needy core with his finger.

"Tell you somethin', sugar" Joel finds it hard to hide his adoration, "I missed 'er too"

He stares into your eyes while pushing two rough fingers inside your cunt. You bite your lip, holding back your moans.

"Need summ help?" he kisses you roughly, smirking when he feels your shaky breath against his lips. He pushes them in and out faster, making your walls squeeze tightly around his fingers.

"Did he ever have you comin' this fast? I'ont think so" he whispers against your neck. You whisper his name through labored breaths, making a smug smile adorn his features. "Good girl"

He proceeds to kneel down, despite the creak of his bones. You see him leave a trail of kisses down your thighs, your legs opening wider in response. His tongue gives rapid flickers against your sensitive bud, aware of the lack of time. He slurps the pulsing cunt, his head moving back and forth while he sucks, coating his moustache on your juices. Joel goes back to the quick movements, tongue knowing your spots and twisting fingers as aid, causing your back to arch.

"Fuck" you curse as you come, gripping the sink a bit too tight.

Joel then pulls away and places his fingers coated in your arousal in his mouth and licks them. He sees the obscene display in the fogged mirror, satisfied.

"Goodnight, sugar" Joel bids goodbye like it's nothing, kissing your lips that taste like you. "Still as sweet as ever"

It's New Year's Eve.

"You're leaving?" you sound so sad, Joel can't help but scoff. In the end, he'd stayed long after the storm had passed, your father arguing holidays weren't meant to be spent alone. So he stayed.

And now, Nick is leaving.

"I'm sorry" he apologizes for the millionth time, "but granny is sick. I don't know if she'll make it another year, so say the doctors. I would love to stay, really, but I have to be with her"

You understand, having lost your grandad years ago. But that doesn't mean you're okay with it: Nick leaving means a clear path for Joel, who didn't stop with him sleeping next room, and certainly won't now, despite not having interacted with you since he ate you out on the bathroom.

He pulls you into a long hug and a kiss that doesn't feel the same anymore. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah" you nod, "I'll miss you though"

"Well, I'll be all yours when you get back"

You smile but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"See you, y/n. I love you"

Your lips purse after you utter those three words back.

Later at night, the house is filled with guests. The lively environment is restored, and you feel less confined to Joel's claws, so many faces to speak and distract yourself with, compared to Christmas and the past couple of days. You clutch the marlin charm tightly, mind busy wandering to places it shouldn't. Joel stares at you from across the room, eyes trained on you as he sips his drink calmly, like he's won; you don't know why he's keeping score if he already knows it. You wander off to the kitchen, and Joel follows you.

"You have to stop" you speak as soon as he enters, aware he would follow you.

"I ain't do shit"

You turn around, facing him. "Bullshit, Joel"

"Tell me, what'd I do?" he comes closer, and despite your erratic heart and fear, you stay still; challenging.

"You did this, Joel" his expression falters for a second, the weight of last december's crimes dawning on him. "Don't try to make me feel guilty"

"I ain't. That wasn't your fault" he sighs, breath dragging long like a cigarrette. "But this" he motions with his hands the reduced distance, "this it is"

Your breath hitches.

"We can't keep doing this, Joel. Nick doesn't deserve it"

He pins you against the counter with force, gripping the skin of your wrists until you're sure you'll get a bruise. Joel's eyes darken at the thought of your frail and soft body under his rough figure and belly, his strength and your weakness making the job of putting you under his will, so much easier.

"Don't say his name" he whispers, his breath laced with alcohol, "he ain't here anymore. Ain't nothing to stop me now, right, sugar?" Joel purrs as he steps towards you, taking your face in his hands before starting a heated kiss, making you stumble.

This was so wrong, but it felt so right, the missing pieces falling like dominoes.

He was your pain divine: you needed his hurt to bleed and feel alive again. Maybe the red of the blood and the blue of your sadness could paint your darkest grey skies with a happiness you've craved since you lost him.

"Tell me to stop" Joel whispers, tempting like a devil as he kisses down your neck, littering it with hickeys.

"Don't"

Next thing you know, you're excusing yourself upstairs and then Joel goes missing too, both inside of your bedroom.

Your dress was the first thing to go.

"Wear it for me?" you're about to answer, lips pursing, but he cuts you off, "and don't lie, sugar. Don't get too used to the bad girl schtick"

"I only wore this dress so you could take it off"

He kisses you desperately, legs wrapped around his waist while he carries you to bed, and the memories of your first flood you as he drops you down to your back, watching the way you bounce. He has you just like he wanted: moaning his name while he leaves tender kisses on the soft bare flesh.

"Joel-" you gasp. Despite the chatter downstairs and music, you try to remain low as he wraps his lips around your nipples. He then moves to your breasts, covering them with his kisses and hickeys. He hadn't touched a woman ever since you left, the feeling of the rosy innocent skin on his rough teeth making him loose all common sense, the real thing even better than what he would try to conjure when he fucked himself in the bathroom at the memory of you.

He groans when he feels your hands roaming over his back, nails digging on the scarred skin.

"Someone's eager" he teases, seeing your damp underwear. "Is this 'cause of me?" you don't answer, too busy removing the cloth, only for his strong fingers to grab you and stop you. "Don't be shy, answer baby. We got a whole new year, yeah?"

"I need you Joel" you whine, not laughing at the joke "cut the crap"

He pushes you gently back down to the bed. "So needy sugar, want me to help ya'?"

You eagerly nod, making him laugh. But there's no mock, only love behind the sound.

"Will you let this old man take care of ya', pretty baby? Just use your words, and I'll be all y'rs"

"Do it, Joel. Just do it"

You gasp as your folds begin to be prodded open by the fat head of Joel's cock. You curse, feeling him push in just the tip, the sweet burn of your walls welcoming his size making you grab his arms that stand at the sides of your body, caging you in.

His tummy pushes against your stomach as he adjusts himself, his weight sinking your body on the creaking matress.

"'S just the tip, ready for the whole thing?"

You needed him, all of him.

"Yes, Joel. I want you" You say and he pushes in slowly, feeling his cock fill up every empty space that craved for him.

You squeeze your eyes shut as his hips roll back pulling out about halfway before rocking back in. His sloppy thrusts pick up a familiar pace that makes you moan and beg for more, head falling against the sheets as his pace speds up until he's fucking you senseless.

Joel's brain goes blank at the sight of you creaming on his dick and the obscene sounds leaving your pretty mouth. Did he really give this up? He'd definitely go back in time and slap the fuck out of his past self, because there is simply nothing better than having you under him, screaming his name like that's all you can ever say.

"Does he fuck you like this, huh?" Joel angles his hips, resuming his brutal pace. Your body jolts with each snap. "Is he enough for you?"

"Yes" his stomach drops, dark eyes now hesitant, "but he isn't you"

He pushes himself back in, your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately.

"Tell me you'll leave him, y/n. Look me in the eyes and tell me who ya' really belong to"

Your eyes snap open at the possesiveness clashed with jealousy that drips from his sweat-soaked lips.

The confession falls easily, as meant to be. "Yours, Joel. Always was and will be"

He could cum just at the sight of your loving doe eyes.

Downstairs, the countdown begins, but in your room, all you can hear are his soft groans and your pathetic whimpers, and if the people would stop shouting, you could probably hear the squelch of your dripping cunt sucking in his girth with each thrust.

After a few more erratic thrusts, you feel his warm cum fill you up. Joel was always obsessed with how his cum seeped out of you and around his cock. Without thinking, his rough fingers push deep in you, making you yelp as he makes sure he isn't wasting a drop behind.

The countdown ends, and fireworks erupt outside as your head rests on the crook of his sweat covered neck.

"I love ya', sugar" those words you thought you imagined that one time, now real, so goddamn real his voice quivers and eyes get tearful with grief, "'S okay if ya' don't say it. I just wanted you to hear 'em. 'M just tired of wastin' my time"

He wraps your lips with his with tenderness you had only dreamed of. There is still a lot to talk and heal, but this time, his arms hold you like a promise. And you let yourself believe it.

Y/n's New Years' purposes: 1. Break up with Nick 2. Try to explain this seasonal mess to mom and dad 3. At last, try to be happy

#dilfistwrites #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #tlou #tlou fanfiction

1K notes · View notes

puck-luck · 3 months ago

Note

may i request a 6 of clubs with quinn hughes?

congrats on 1k!! 🤍

warnings: slightly emotionally unavailable quinn, upset quinn, unprotected p in v, y'all are about to be blueballed by this btw, dom!quinn

WC: 1,172

You’re the first to say that you love when Quinn starts to show his feelings. Your boyfriend can be so shy and quiet, keeping all of his thoughts and feelings to himself. It took you a while to express your discontent when he would go silent, and he’s been working on it since. Quinn still hasn’t quite adapted to having a girlfriend who wants to share his every emotion, but he’s trying.

Today has been one of those days where it feels like he is adamantly not trying. You went to the game and watched the same outcome as him– the Canucks lost by two goals to the worst-ranked team in the league. Quinn came home upset, which made sense. He was on the ice for nearly a half-hour. You could spot the moment when his frustration boiled over: during the third period, at the end of his shift on the power play. He had grit his teeth and shook his head as he sat on the bench. Even though you didn’t have a good view of him, you knew he was stewing in his anger.

Here are all of the ways you tried to make his night better so that he would be willing to vent to you: you picked up his favorite cheat food (which is still much healthier than the cheat meal you would have chosen), put his favorite comedy on the television and paused it just before the opening credits ended so he wouldn’t miss anything good, put out his comfy clothes and threw his towel in the dryer so that it would be warm and fluffy when he got out. You put on your comfy clothes and threw your hair up the way he likes, so that he can see your collarbones, neck, and cleavage without even a chance of obstruction.

Still, even having done all of those things, Quinn doesn’t want to talk. You sat on the couch, cuddled into his side for almost two hours while you watched the movie, and Quinn was silent the whole time. He’s still stewing a bit, so once the movie ends, you look up at him and touch his chest. Quinn just leans his head back into the couch cushions and closes his eyes. Rolling yours a bit at his resolution to ignore your concern, you climb onto his lap and touch his face until he looks at you. He shaved after his shower. He likes to do that after bad games. It helps him get rid of any lingering traces of the day, by starting fresh with a clean jawline. Because his hair is so dark, there’s always a shadow under his lip and around his chin. You trace it until Quinn opens his eyes.

“Talk to me,” You say quietly.

“Baby, I don’t want to talk,” Quinn replies. His cheekbones look great in the low lamplight. You don’t stop yourself from tracing over those, too.

You stay silent, searching his face for any clues. Quinn is stony. You’re hoping that the tilt of your lips and your imploring expression will make him break.

Instead, Quinn just lifts his eyebrows and stares at you. When he gets like this, he never gives anything away. Annoying, annoying man.

“Will you talk to me tomorrow?” You ask, pushing his hair behind his ears.

Quinn finally breathes out a laugh. “Yeah. We can have a heart to heart tomorrow.”

“Good.” You smile, satisfied with his answer. Quinn returns it, although mostly just humoring you. “How can I help you now?”

Quinn thinks for a second, then his eyes rake over your figure.

He’s so blatantly obvious that you know what he’s thinking immediately. “Mm,” you hum, adjusting yourself on his lap so that you can sit flush against his clothed cock. “You want to fuck me.”

“Interested?” Quinn asks, licking over his bottom lip.

You place your hands on his shoulders and grind against him a bit more. “I could be persuaded.”

“Good. Let’s go.” Quinn adjusts his grip on your waist, then stands. At the same time, you wrap your arms and legs around his neck and middle respectively, starting to kiss along his jawline. He makes his way down the hallway to the bedroom and since you feel like he can carry you just fine without your help, you move your arms so that you can pull your shirt off while still in his arms.

After kicking the bedroom door open with the side of his foot, Quinn shows his appreciation for your revealed skin by lowering his mouth and sucking a mark onto your bosom. He falls back on the bed, bringing you with him. You avoid knocking your heads together, then kiss him on the mouth. You’re insistent when you start tugging on the neckline of his sweatshirt, petulantly asking him to take it off without actually asking him at all. Quinn allows you to pull off the fabric once he gets his fill of kissing your lips.

You both make quick work of your remaining clothes– each of your sweats, your underwear. You and Quinn are eager to get things going, with his fingers working their way inside of you in sure strokes, scissoring inside of you to make you as open as possible in as little time. By the time you’re sinking down on Quinn’s cock, you expect for his grip to tighten and his hips to start shifting.

Instead, Quinn keeps his hands light on your waist and sits back against the headboard. He’s sitting low against the pillows, so you still feel like you’re towering over him. His eyes have that disinterested, expectant look in them again.

You’re not as certain in your movements because of it. “Quinn?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. His cock is fully sheathed inside of you now, filling you in a satisfactory way, but usually in this position he moves.

“Fuck yourself on my cock,” he says, a determined clench of his jaw signaling to you that he’s still festering in his frustration. He’s ready to take it out on you, but not in the dominating way that he always does. He says those five words so that you know that tonight is all about following his every command– he may not be spanking you or fucking you until you can’t come anymore, but he’s still telling you what to do and he will punish you if you don’t listen. “I just played a hard game, baby, and nobody helped me out there. I’m tired of doing all the work. Fuck yourself on my cock. Give me a break, yeah?” He squeezes your sides.

His words are a concession– he’s already loosening up and preparing to talk everything out with you tomorrow, revealing just how frustrated he is. He needs you to do something for him so that he can stop beating himself for giving everything to his team and getting so little in return.

The next obvious move is to obey– and you do.

#puck-luck's 1k celebration #andy writes anything🍄#quinn hughes #quinn hughes smut #quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes fanfiction #qh43 #nhl smut #nhl fanfiction #hockey smut

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sammiesallow · 2 years ago

Text

Sebastian Sallow headcanons

summary- dating headcanons with Sebastian. a/n- all my personal opinion! cw's- mentions of violence/blood, use of crucio, angry Sebastian

the jealous type. we all know this.

he gets so jealous when you spend time with Garreth, but then you reassure him it's ok :)

"I could never replace you with anyone else seb, you're my pretty boy"

melts at that btw.

nicknames galore!! he wants to call you everything and he expects it back from you too

'angel, darling, honey, sweetheart, pretty boy.

"you think I'm pretty? really?" "of course I do, Seb."

he gives you the most blinding smile you have ever seen. absolutely adorable

y'all are so loving?? he is definitely a lover of pda, doesn't mind holding hands, a hand on the thigh(not in an intimate way, just for some physical touch :D), a kiss on the cheek, etc.

Sebastian is always touch-starved and craves attention from you. even a look in his direction or a "Hi Darling!" as you're passing him in the hallway will have him smiling like an idiot for the rest of the day

more intimate moments are shared in private, however, like in the undercroft.

Merlin knows those paintings, gargoyles, suits of armor, even the floo flames lady will eavesdrop on y'all and tattletale to a professor if you do anything more than share a kiss on the cheek.

Sebastian loves you with all his heart. he couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt or worse

every time you leave the castle, please send him an owl. it lets him know where you're going and it tells him you're safe.

he's worried sick if you come back with even the slightest scratch.

"Merlin's beard! darling, are you alright? are you hurt anywhere? do you want me to kiss it better???" he says as you come into the undercroft with one scratch on your face LOLL

it's all fun and games until someone hurts you. let's say you're on a quest together, somewhere in a cave and you two get ambushed. it would probably go like this:

"Diffindo!" an Ashwinder threw out the spell in your direction, hitting your abdomen and leaving a large gash in its wake. Sebastian yelped, not having noticed your state, and threw a quick "arresto momentum!" in the enemy's way to stall their time. "merlin! are you alright-" Sebastian stopped all movement when he saw you- you were hunched over in pain, groaning as you tried to stop the bleeding coming from the gash on your side. At that moment, he felt nothing but pure and unbridled rage. "you BASTARD!" Sebastian turned to the Ashwinder, (who was quite literally about to cast Avada kedavra on him) and cast crucio. nobody touches his girlfriend.

that's definitely one of his red flags.. he has anger issues, and won't hesitate to hurt someone if they hurt you. it's kinda endearing though

speaking of red flags- I'm not gonna ignore them? we all love him but he does have negative traits that will show through in y'alls relationship.

He's overly possessive and gets super upset when another boy tries to flirt with you. if you don't say something to the guy- sebastian will; and i dont think you want that.

he's not very in-touch with his emotions. he has a hard time expressing his feelings because of a) his insecurities and b) his ego.

but on a more positive note, you help him through these things!

meeting ominis and becoming friends with him gave you the opportunity to ask another person about sebastians troubles, and you can confide in him for advice when you need it!

you're sebastian's sunshine- quite literally. you help him through his tough times, and on a regular day, you brighten his mood imensely.

ON TO THE CUTER RELATIONSHIP STUFF!!!

HE WANTS TO CUDDLE YOU.

if he's tired he becomes 100% more affectionate- which means cuddles in the undercroft, his head on your shoulder in class, a hand on your under the table at dinner, etc.

Sebastian isn't the brightest, but if he has a class with you, he'll listen to anything you have to say.

he adores your smarts- whether or not you're actually smart is up to you, but it's not like he'll care. you could be the dumbest mf in the world and he'll still be proud of you!

he's your cheerleader! in crossed wands, the broom race against imelda, summoner's court, even an arm wrestling contest, he's there to cheer you on

it's because he never had someone to do that for him- losing his parents at such a young age, he didnt have cheerleaders to be proud of him through his achievments, so he does it for you!

in return, you take him on cute little dates!

little picnics in the vivarium are his favorite. he loves the feeling of laying of the grass and cloudgazing with you.

you know he needs to relax- so it becomes a regular thing for you two to sneak off to the room of requirement.

the undercroft is still a regular hang-out, usually used for absolute tomfoolery.

i mean, you sebastian and ominis will have stupid competitions all the time.

"let's see who can cast confringo the farthest!!" "Sebastian no!!" "Sebastian yes!"

chaos trio.

more importantly, chaos duo.

you enable his stupid ideas and make sure that he does them safely.

unless it's something stupidly unsafe- then you'll have to lure him back to the undercroft with cuddles and kisses. <3

A/N- MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!! pls send me ideas!! :)

#sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy x you #sebastian sallow x mc

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serxinns · 11 months ago

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I HAVE AN IDEAAAAAA!!!

okay so like, what if there was a reader who was like really happy-go-lucky and kind and what-not but when it comes to battle or sparing they are a BEAST!!! i mean DISRESPECTFUL, folding people like HOT OMELETS IN A PAN! i also like to think what if this reader has a quirk thats like toph from atla and they know like reaaaally rare earth bending techniques like bone-bending and lava bending. how do you think yandere class 1a would react?

btw you dont have to write anything 4 this(though it would be a bit cool if u did, no pressure ofc!!!) i just wanted to share the thoughts in my noggin

(NOTTHEHOTOMELETOMG 😭 y'all are insane)

•You had a very powerful quirk which was earth bending you had telekinesis and were able to control earth like dirt, and sand, and mentally your quirk was considered dangerous and very powerful but despised that you were the exact opposite you were a happy full of life always smiles and your classmates and some of the teachers love about you

•Your classmates would do anything to protect that beautiful smile of yours they would even fight to the death if that was the final result to make you happy, even in the darkest times you still were always positive and made everyone's day whenever someone was down you made them happy with your silly jokes and encouragement

•you got along very well with the happy, and chaotic ones (Ochako, Kiri, Izuku, Sato, etc) izuku Was writing down everything about your amazing power he wishes to be a hero with you and to always protect you from wicked villains so he can be called your hero or how Kirishima would be your number one "Fan" whenever he always feel insecure your encouragement and compliments motivate him on making him blush making him mumble about how manly you are

•And You got along with the quiet ones as well (Shoto, Jirou, Kota, and Shoji, etc.) Jirou and you would join in and sing happy tunes and talk about your favorite genre and Shoto wanting to have his private therapy section with you because he's memorized your positive aura and words Kota loves when you hang out with his animals he almost cried tears of joy when he saw his pet rabbit resting on your lap he is just in AWE he took a lot of photos that day

•Now nobody saw you angry heck is it even possible to make you angry one time a person rudely shoved you all you did was shrugged it off and hummed your tune, If you were so close to winning a game and you lost at the last second you still would just be like "Oh well!" and just play it again, everyone was curious to see that unknown side was but didn't matter to them sicje they like seeing your smile

That's what they all thought

•One day you were fighting some villain for stealing some money when all of a sudden the villain punched you in the face you were ok and quickly recovered from it but you were PISSED because they broke your favorite hero helmet, you quickly zoomed over trying to hunt that villain down and beat the absolute SHIT out of them while saying saying words that they didn't expect for you to say such vulgar words

•Bakugo wasn't even shocked this dude was cheering for you while the rest of the squad jaws were wide open

•iida was even speechless he didn't even try to stop you just...observed you he was more worried for you then the poor dude gets beat

•Kirishima was just a mess he thinks your a absolute badass, He honestly loved this side of you

•Ochako was just eyes was just sparkling she wanted to hug you right you right then and there and asked to marry you

•While Izuku was shocked he was secretly fanboying dude was writing down this whole new side while giggling to himself he was gonna ask you a lot of questions after this

Aizawa was just shocked while the mic was paranoia mic was begging Shouta to use his bandages on you to restrain you but aizawa was just smirking telling him "Wait wait just a little more" but he had to restrain you cause he didn't want you to kill the poor dude

#yandere bnha #yandere ua #tw yandere #yandere x reader #tw obsessive behavior #yandere class 1a #yandere mha #platonic yandere

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adventuringblind · 2 years ago

Note

i loved your neurodivergent x oscar sm and i think it’s so cute. i love the way both their dynamics work with each other and it’s relatability!!

i was wondering if you could do more fics based on them in like different situations and how they both would care for each other in their own ways??

maybe you could make a fic based around the early stages of their relationship? i can imagine it being like really cute and both of them having to adapt to some of each others habits that they weren’t used to before, etc, and them both just being really caring and overall adorable towards each other!

i hope you’re having a lovely day btw!

Patterns of You

Oscar Piastrix Autistic!reader

Genre: fluff

Request: yep! I'm open for any ideas y'all have. I've been having fun with the autistic reader, so if you have anything specific in mind, please let me know!

Summary: You and Oscar adapt to eachothers way of living

Warnings: none :)

Notes: written in second person

Masterlist

You and Oscar hit it off

However, it still takes some getting used too for the both of you

Oscar likes trying different foods

You like sticking to the same foods

It took him awhile to learn your preference

He even made a list of things you specifically disliked and hung it on the fridge

He was aware you physically couldn't handle certain things

So he tried his hardest to make things that you both liked or could he made to one's specific preferences

Once he asked you to come with him to a barbecue at a friend's house

The party itself was chill

But the food options made you want to cry

You tired to be polite and eat a little but but you just ended up excusing yourself to the bathroom and gagging

Oscar was well aware of what was happening

He made sure you didn't feel the need to force yourself to eat something you couldn't

When he took you home that night, he purchased your favorite safe food and made it for you

He knew you needed food, and after the stress of everything at the barbecue, he figured your safe food might help to ease your senses

One thing he was not prepared for was the first time you had a meltdown

You'd told him exactly what happens and how you need to calm yourself down so that he wasn't clueless

It didn't stop him from being worried though

When you showed up with Oscar at the paddock for the first time, the journalists were all over you

They were loud, in your face, and in your personal space

It got overwhelming too quick

Your hands immediately cover your ears, and your breathing gets rapid

The worst part is that they follow you

Obviously, they didn't get that you didn't feel like talking to them

Oscar could actively feel your body shutting down

Tears escaping your eyes faster then you could wipe them away

He led you all the way to his driver room without stopping

Immediately, he watched you find the floor and curl into yourself

Oscar just stands guard and makes sure you don't need anything as you attempt to self-soothe

When you feel better, he lets you hold him or be held in whatever way you need

He started to adapt after that

He became Spiderman

It didn't matter where you were, if he was within five minutes of you, he knew if you felt overwhelmed or not

When you moved in with him, he made sure to give you a safe space

Somewhere that other people couldn't go and bother you if you needed time to yourself

Somtimes Oscar himself was your safe space

If you couldn't get away from the environment, he would envelope you in his arms

Letting you bury your face in his chest and breathe in his scent

It wasn't the best way of letting you calm down, but it worked in emergency situations when he couldn't get you out of there

Routine became the most popular shared thing between you two

You both had schedules and stuck to them

He noticed your mini routines inside of your schedule

You would always use the same good morning greeting, so he started using it too

It made you smile when the comforting words fell from his mouth

You always made the bed a specific way, so he memorized how so he could do it also

Vocal tones were the hardest thing for you to learn

Your parents deemed that the way you speak most the time had an ability to sound angry and sassy

This, in turn, made you over explain everything you said because you feared it would get you in trouble

Oscar could not understand for the life of him why one sentence became a three paragraph explanation

He eventually just started listening for keywords you used to get different tones across

When you asked questions about how he was meaning things, he didn't get it at first

When he was talking about work drama, he saw the pure look of confusion on your face

You were trying to decide if he was upset or just gossiping but had yet to figure it out

He understood after that

Needless to say you two eventually found your groove

Communication about communication became a vital point of success in your relationship

Oscar didn't mind having to adapt to something new

He loves you and is willing figure things out

Plus, the patterns you have make you more you

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thatanimewriter · 2 years ago

Text

HOMEMADE HUGS.

➳ request: Can i make a request? I want Soma, Ryou, Akira, Alice, and Eishi (from the anime food wars) with a S/O who is neutral to fancy food or anything that is the opposite of homemade food because for them homemade food is just the best for them. It’s like they don’t the food to be like the best they just want the food to be made with love and thoughtfulness. apologize if this is too much for you to ask

➳ character/s: yukihira soma, kurokiba ryo, hayama akira, nakiri alice, tsukasa eishi

➳ warnings: swearing, hayama being homeless and orphaned as a kid, marriage fever (soma)

➳ notes: food wars is love, food wars is life, people should get over the weird foodgasms so they can actually watch art ._. (also soma is my ideal man, when can i find one-)

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

── 𝐘𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐀.

talk your shit

he'll get you a megaphone to say it again

he agrees with you 100%

now you have to marry him btw :))

constantly trying out any new yukihira diner recipes on you

he may be at totsuki, but he still wants to take over the diner and make happiness affordable and memorable

you don't need fancy shit to bring people joy >:((

he also drags you to tons of festivals n markets to try the street food and festival food

if unhealthy, why taste good??

screaming if you ever make him something homemade

and he will scoff that shit down

he gets sick of fancy food too, so he's more than happy to have your homemade things in between classes

constantly leaning over your shoulder at the dorms to see what you're making

always licks the bowl if it's a cake or something

personal dish washer

will make you a yukihira diner dish in bento form every time you have to be away for something

comfort food and a movie at least twice a week

jokingly calls you 'wifey' regardless of gender because he's determined you'll get married for the homemade food thing

joichiro approves-

── 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐁𝐀 𝐑𝐘𝐎.

a lowkey judgmental squint at you

-.-

he's unsure if he agrees with you

but he's never gonna say no to trying anything homemade that you offer him

will give you the hum of approval every time

maybe he's starting to see your point-

you're not always the one making him homemade food though

sometimes he comes to you to go on a cute little picnic date and has made you a special dish from denmark to share with you

will just listen to you talk while he eats and occasionally pitches in

don't challenge him too much though, because if you make a joke that your homemade food is better, you're in for it

can you have a shokugeki with 'peasant food'??

alice's words, not yours-

he's not very open with emotions but you can tell from the little smile he's suppressing that he feels loved when he eats homemade food

and it also lets him relax after classes and outside of trying to destroy soma

he gets to make cute and quaint dishes for you and not stress about the quality of the dish

n he gets to see that smile of yours :))

not that he'd ever admit that-

but like soma, he's hovering over you while you cook

probably snacking on the leftovers

── 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀 𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐀.

ask and you shall receive

he has probably never had a homemade meal before-

and homemade meals are now your love languages

also probably cried when you first made him something homemade

just a couple snivels and tears

that's also when he first fell in love but you won't catch him saying that to anyone else

makes you a lot of indian street food to connect more with his culture and introduce you if you're not already familiar

always makes you something if you feel upset or down

and it's always very urgent??

he's a very attentive lover

he hears you're upset and he's speed running a lil curry n naan for you and he's COMING OVER RIGHT NOW-

y'all always make lunch for each other because if you're not with each other, you feel the love you have for each other either way

and if you have lunch together, compliments (and kisses) to the chef

unlike the others, who snack on whatever is leftover while you cook for them

hayama feeds you your leftovers

gently feeding a lil carrot stick to you ;v;

he made his own spice blend that he thinks encapsulates you as a person and you definitely can't find that in stores-

people have asked him what the spice is called

n he just called it by your name

── 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄.

she doesn't get it-

homemade food isn't as exquisite???

what are you on??

this is entirely because her parents are elitists and she never got HOMEmade food

got professional food only

and she doesn't know what homemade food actually tastes like

and that's kinda dumb tbh-

how does one survive without a lovingly made dish??

loving the cooking is different to making something BECAUSE you love them

so now it's your mission to convert her :))

it didn't take very long, you gave her breakfast in bed and she was sold

now she knows what love actually feels like and this is a pivotal moment

to be fair though

she can't really replicate homemade cooking for a while

because she never got taught and she can't get the strict training out of her system

how do you make molecular gastronomy homey??

it's fine, you'll just have to teach her

bonding time in the kitchen

she'll get the hang of it eventually, but for now she's fine with just having you cook loving meals for her

── 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈.

somehow it's more nerve wracking making a homemade dish than a fancy one

because you like homemade things more ;v;

and he doesn't want to disappoint you

also probably doesn't know how to make a homemade meal-

are you sure you can't just treat him??

he's baby

he can't handle this shit :((

gladly takes homemade food from you though

but he wants cuddles while he eats your cooking

will also learn to make more homemade things and let go of the reins a little bit with PRESTIGE

probably also cried when he first tried your cooking

and this is lowkey what he wishes totsuki was

less stressful, more time with you, no more panic attacks-

the first time he ever gave you a homemade meal he was sweating bullets and shaking like crazy

but he got rewards, so now he does it all the time

kisses

"you could just ask for a kiss, you know."

"...'s so embarrassing..."

you now know a homemade meal means he wants kisses

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blushblushbear · 2 months ago

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Can you do general Scale headcanons pls?

if Batman existed in his universe, he would probably be a Robin

is actually a tea guy, but he's not snobby about it

had a very weird childhood

was adopted into an assassin order at a young age and never looked back

lived in different parts of Asia for a while

really likes the life he ended up in, but he does sometimes wish he could've just been a regular guy

is actually working towards being just a regular person who does regular things (like bowling)

this is not fully because of you but he'd be lying if he said meeting you didn't give him a new lease on life

he kinda wants to start a new chapter of it all ya know??

a chapter specifically with you in it

likes floral and herbal flavors

is 50/50 on mint though

has a high tolerance for spice that he trained to have

also a high tolerance for poisons but same thing

can speak a little bit of a few other languages, but he's not fully fluent in them

doesn't actually watch a lot of anime, but is very interested in doing so if you're down

doesn't own too many clothes that are not either assassin uniforms or disguises

he's not gonna ask you to take him shopping for new clothes, but if you offered...

this is totally a big huge secret that is not a secret at all but he's kinda wrapped around your finger

has insecurities about his masculinity

(I'm not saying trans, but I am heavily implying it and would be down if it was ever made canon)

knew magic existed before meeting you but had never experienced it first hand

misses being a dragon sometimes

loves eating fruits and veggies as a snack

(this is gonna age me greatly, BUT DO Y'ALL REMEMBER OG Japanese Iron Chef where the chairman would take a bite of a raw bell pepper in the intro??? yeah, that's Scale unironically)

ya know what, fuck it, he watched og iron chef

I feel like Japanese, Chinese, and Spanish are the main 3 languages he's the most comfortable with (also a little bit of french but his pronunciation is ASS)

was a vegetarian briefly as a teen

still trying to figure out who he is past his assassin identity/persona

always trying to push himself to be better in some aspect of himself-- usually in the past it was physical and mental, but now he's also leaning more towards mental/emotional

he tries to always find peace within himself

mostly cause he was the only constant throughout his life

also danger

but also in his line of work you can't trust anyone (not even yourself lol meme)

hasn't listened to a lot of music, but the main things he knows are classical/traditional music and pop

is not a kpop stan, but he does love him some kpop

also jrock but like--- old school jrock

early 2000's jrock

also oldies pop (looking at your Brittney, we're old now... *sigh* hit me baby one more time...)

has gotten drunk before, but only to test his limits

he thinks he's a very smooth drunk

he is not

alcohol is actually the one thing he doesn't have a high tolerance for

but he genuinely thinks that he does

(not that he gets a lot of times he can show it-- you 19 y/o CHILD)

is really really into cuddling and being held actually

also really into just chill lazy days at home with you

just chilling together in pjs, sharing a blanket, catching up on shows, ordering Chinese--- good stuff

kind of wants a cat or dog, but semi-retried assassins can't afford just an adorable target (see: John Wick)

does want to retire someday

also maybe wants kids

he's not sure yet

about a lot of things actually

he's a pretty dangerous guy living a pretty dangerous life and just cause he quits it doesn't mean it quits him ya know???

he will 10000000000% go John Wick or Liam Neeson on someone's ass if they mess with his family, but he'd prefer his loved ones not be in danger in the first place

btw you're the first person he's truly gotten close to who was not also a fellow assassin

also he totally considers you family by this point

only knows a handful of memes, but is actually very memely minded

has only scene the first star wars movies, has not seen the prequels, but if he did, he'd love them

actually does play video games a bit but is not always up to date with what's the newest thing in the gaming world (he's a busy guy, but also hand helds can travel well so)

actually still gets butterflies and heart flutters when you kiss him

likes to try and charm you/make you swoon and honestly I can't ever see that stopping

he WILL get taller, but only a little

can last 2 or 3 full days without food water or sleep (though he's a total and utter mess by the end of it and needs a day to recoup)

has tried to read Jane Austen at least 5 different times but can't get past how they talk...

has a lot of pictures of you, some of which he took without you knowing

you are his phone bg and he looks at pictures of you often whenever he hasn't seen you in a while (and a while can be from a full day to a few hours)

is worried he's putting you in danger...

if anything ever happened to you cause of him he'd probably have a full on melt down

gets vaguely annoyed every now and then, gets well and truly angry almost NEVER

is actually very chill

also very blunt sometimes-- dude is mostly a realist honestly (crazy cape and daggers not withstanding)

owns SO MANY knives, daggers and swords

some of which are cursed!

has given you daggers/knives/swords/etc as a gift

low key is thinking of proposing with one, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it

loves a good fantasy novel

travels A LOT, and is actually really good on a plane

somehow manages to always have his phone charged

has taken on fewer assassin jobs lately, mostly cause he's preoccupied with you <3

wants to go on every cliche date with you under the sun

ice cream, movies, dinner, bowling, skating, ice skating, moonlit walks on the beach, trips to wild new places, dancing, flirty sword fights

has imagined many a romantasy scenario with you and himself-- enemies to lovers, bodyguard and royalty, rival assassins, target and assassin who falls in love with the target-- wait that last one is just real life

doesn't always tell you that he loves you, but does it more than you'd think and when he does he makes sure you know he means it

has threatened someone over you (say another word and you'll end up swallowing a knife, asshole)

looping back to the cat, will probably end up adopting a random street cat that he picked up on one of his missions cause it was small and alone and it's big eyes reminded him of you and he just couldn't leave it all by itself out there in the big scary world-- no, it had to come home to meet you

#bear text #blush blush game #blush blush #bb game #sad panda studios #bear talks #Scale #scale blush blush #blush blush scale

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cxffecoupx · 1 month ago

Text

✧˖*°࿐ 2024 tumblr wrapped

as this year comes to an end, and we revisit the memories it brought, it's only appropriate that we go through this past year in this account. thankfully, i was tagged by @monamipencil in her tumblr wrapped post, which gave me the motivation to make this post (which i otherwise would have procrastinated on) that gives me the opportunity to share a glance at this year in writing.

before we get into it, i wanna take a moment to thank everyone from the bottomest pit of my little heart: followers; fellow creators who I always look up to; every anon who's sent me an ask, even if it's just to ramble; everyone who's read any of my work and who's shown love to them. what this account is right now, is all because of your support and love. so really, i love you with every single living cell in my body.

for some basic details:

this account was created on may 14 (counting the day of the first post), so it's been 232 days of cxffecoupx!

as of the moment i'm writing this, we have 762 followers — a truly huge family indeed!

i've posted 40 works (crazy to even think about that??)

made 326 posts all together (i do yap a lot).

made a few really good friends...

...and also realised i would like to post even more in the coming year

for someone as inconsistent as me, i sure feel very surprised at the performance this year (you can actually see how low I'd expected of myself lol), and i'm so so grateful to y'all for all your love.

now, for some post specific stats:

again, i've posted 40 works this year.

top fic of 2024 — [11:18 pm]; seungcheol × reader; 2k notes.

longest fic — realising they're in love with you; ot13 × reader; 1.4k words. here for you; joshua × reader; 1.4k words .

personal fav — (you can't make me choose btw my babies >:(!!) what 2 am with them looks like; ot13 × reader. cheol as a girl dad; seungcheol × reader.

top member — seungcheol (very biased, i know).

total word count of 2024 — (idk i need my laptop to check ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ; will update soon tho).

this is all about my writing and works. again, i would like to thank every single one of you who's taken even a little time out to read any of it; i seriously cannot express it enough, i really really mean it.

using this section to dedicate some special thanks and extra love to a few people:

@simpxxstan — no amount of words would be enough to thank you. for all the times you've patiently listened to my rants and silliest ideas. for every time you've approached me to share your own thoughts because that just makes me feel soo loved. for all the times you've supported and encouraged me, not just for all the caratlife related stuff, but also personal problems and struggles. for helping me get through this semester of master's while you were going through it yourself. if i could invent a new word to convey all the gratefulness i have towards you, i'd gladly use that right now.

@seungcheorry — one of the reasons cxffecoupx is what it is today. if it weren't for your support and guidance, i'd still be using my personal account and there would be no cxffecoupx. and although it all started like that, you've only continued to show your kindness by your ongoing support and love, even during difficult times for you. please know that i'll always be here for you to reach out to. always.

@wonuumelody — the first friend i made here. the first person who messaged me to tell me how much she liked my very first post. literally gave me all the more reason to keep posting, because if not for anyone else, then atleast for her. thank you so much for your kind words that day; it still keeps me going.

@ylangelegy — where do i even begin with kae? i found the account through a coincidence and it's been such a rollercoaster ride for me since then. tbh, i look up to them as someone i'd like to use as my guiding light when things get rough. when i feel like the words i write do not look pretty, they're always the first to show me that they are. and that it more than enough at the time for me. my personal cheerleader, know that i'm always at the bleachers, cheering you on too.

@monamipencil — this is such a whiplash for me because this person was someone i used to look up to since the beginning of my cxffecoupx days,,, and then one day she interacted with my posts???? ris starstruck moment fr because i could not believe my eyes. so this will forever remain a core memory for me. truly.

@hearts4hansol — ofc i need to mention my secret santa, the one who kept me so entertained this whole month of december and gifted me something so so special that it'll remain in a part of my mind and heart for as long as cxffecoupx exists. i want to apologise again for all the messages i haven't replied to yet, and also thank you for all the silent support you've given me 'anonymously'.

@mejaemin — my only nct moot here. she has a special place in the neon green section of my heart. i love you so so much.

plus a few other people i'm sure to have left out. please don't feel i've forgotten, because someway or another, i'm grateful for your love and your part in showing support that has given me fuel to keep going on. this also goes to all the anons who've sent in their requests (including those i havent yet responded to; i see them everyday and i will most definitely get to them).

resolutions for next year?

write more — seriously. even though i feel like 40 works for half of the year seemed surprising to me, i do hope to be able to post some good stuff i can feel proud of. it's a bit difficult, but i'll try my best to reach there.

work through the requests and drafts — i have around 10-15 requests in the inbox, and nearly 30-40 little drafts (one-liners mostly, a brief clue about the idea i jotted down earlier). i would LOVE to be able to work through those and finish them up. that would honestly be so satisfying omg.

as a sidenote to the previous two resolutions, i would like to finish winter wonderland — by posting the remaining two drabbles. i know i've been pushing it for too long now, and i hate it as much as you do, honestly. so i would love to get that done first tbvh.

interact more — come across more writing blogs and make more moots. it's always fun to talk to someone (i am like this only on the net). this would also allow me to read more variety of stories and possibly learn something from them.

on a personal note — do well academically, make more friends, (hopefully) find new love, travel and explore more... might add more to this bingo card.

with this, we reach the end of my 2024 tumblr wrapped (ended up a little too long, pardon). thank you so much for this opportunity to let me take a glance back at this year, to learn from my mistakes and do better next time.

(not really tagging anyone because 2024 is almost over now, but if she's up to it, then i'd love to see @simpxxstan do it + anyone else who's interested, (i'm a little nosy and) would love to see it!!)

the time here is 23:45.

signing off as cxffecoupx of 2024.

see you on the other side.

happy new year! i love y'all <3

#tumblr wrapped #tumblr wrapped 2024 #archives.ris

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youremyheaven · 6 months ago

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with that Venusian man 👨 hmm 👀👀 spill the tea girl

Not the 33yr old, this is the friend from a few nights ago 😜 whose arms I liked 🤭😩

They're both Bharani Moon tho 😌 which is my favourite among the Venus naks 😌😌😌 so I do feel like God's favourite rn lmao 🤪

Idk why I never felt this way about him before but looking at his pictures and talking to him, didn't make me feel much , like he's objectively good looking, a veryyyy handsome man, 6'2 😩😩 (the 33yr old is 5'7 max 😔) BROAD ASF SHOULDERS, BIG ARMS, but I was never attracted to him. He has a very sweetie personality too, he has Mercury in Purvabhadrapada atmakaraka and lots of Jupiter in his navamsa chart and he feels veryyy Jupiterean, which according to Claire's video is the nice guy you friendzone etc which is what I did too 😜🤭🤭but OH MY GODDDDDD THE MAN IS DEMONICCCC IN BED 😩😩😩😩😩

He has a veryyyy masculine presence and I love love love love LOVE his body 😩😩😩 he's so bulky and so big, I just get butterflies looking at him 😍😍

So we agreed to book a hotel room that you can rent for a couple of hours??? BEST DECISION IVE EVER MADE 😩😩😩

and from the minute he picked me up, I just had to have him inside me one way or another like 😭😭😭 he's SOOO manly, that I just WANT to get on my knees for him 😭😭😭 I can't believe I'm saying this out loud 😭😭

He's so affectionate and SOOOO gentlemanly, like DAMN he was raised right ✨ he prioritizes foreplay and spends a lot of time on my body, just kissing me all over, I remember when we were friends, he'd casually point to the moles on my arms and say shit like "would be nice playing connect the dots with these 😏" but I just saw him as a friend and I flirt with all my friends male and female and vice versa so i didn't think too much of it but tonight 😩😩😭 as he took my pants off, he saw the mole on my upper thigh and he was like "here's one I haven't seen before 😈" (and all of today, his voice has been deeper and more 🥵🥵 usually he sounds all 😃😊😃☀️🌸 but today he sounded so 😈🥵😈 even tho he was just talking about normal shit) and then he kissed it and licked it 🥵🥵down until he reached yk where 🙈 and BOYS' GOT THAT TONGUE TECHNOLOGY 😩😩😩I was shook 😳😳😳too stunned to speak 🙊😳😳😳😳I was physically glitching 😭 i literally had to beg him to just put it in because I cannot take it anymore 😭😭 and the wayyyy he grabbed my legs closer to him 😩😩😩we fcked thrice 🙈🙈🙈🙈 he only had one condom 💀💀💀 and y'all should always use protection when you have sex but when he pulled out and jizzed on my stomach, I lost my mind, idk it was so hot 🙈🥵

And just the way he holds me, touches me etc it makes me feel 😩😩😩

I'm sorry to share such filth detail with y'all but I don't have friends I can share any of this with (so instead I'm telling thousands of strangers lmao 😭) idk why I'm giving such a blow by blow account of this but honestly it was suchhh a good experience 🙈🙈🙈

We were just lying down talking between rounds and we have such a good bond y'all it's so funny 😭😭 like we're talking about random shit, he was asking me about stuff and I was telling him and he was smiling kissing my body as he's listening and then he holds my face and says "you know this is pillow talk right" and idk we're both blushing 🙈 and he's like "I love listening to this, don't stop, keep talking" 😩😩 (fastest way to my heart lol)

Anyways, we leave the hotel (super cute place btw) and when we're by the reception the staff (just two dudes) look at us like 😏but tryna remain professional and I feel so accomplished like ??? I just had sex with this tall handsome man ??? 😩😩And everytime others looked at us, I was just like 😌😌hehe this hottie was inside me 😌hehe 🤪😜🤭 and ngl we look reallyyy good together 🥵🤭🙈but anyways although he pulled out in time, he did cum outside my yk what and I told him I'm taking the pill just to be safe and he parked a little bit away from the pharmacy and went and bought it for me???? Like that's well raised right there 🥹🥹 (he didn't want them to see me bc this is India and women are judged heavily for having sex and he bought it bc he came inside me so that's the least he could do 💀but just the fact that all of it was so unspoken and he just did all of it intuitively was sooo hot to me, like I said I'm turned on by gentlemanliness) you should have seen the way he looked when he walked back to me 🥹🥹🥹🥹 just the finest man alive 😍🥵😩 idk how someone can go from being some guy to THE guy in a couple of days but it's happened 😭😭😭

he texted me asking if I reached home and then asked me a little later if I took the pill 😭😭 I never ever EVER thought that him and I would be at a point where we fuck raw and he reminds me to take the pill 😭life works in mysterious ways 😭

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not-goldy · 10 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/748392902553649152/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy748386443834048512?source=share

Let's make one thing clear i wasn't the og anon who asked you about the "did jungkook said all those vile things to jm" but i did saw it so i commented on it and i stand by the fact that making fun of someone's looks when the said person is insecure about his looks is "evil" cause it is. The male treat e/o differently bs you can keep to yourself cause teasing is one thing but making fun of someone's insecurity is not the same get that fact clear.

Did i anywhere said jungkook is not jimin's friend? NO i did not so idk exactly what y'all are yapping about. Did i say "And jk is the standard of love for jkkrs" refering to his past self which jkkrs romanticize and glorify? Yes i did. so now what all it means is i said jungkook is not "the partner" for jimin and i never commented on their friendship and there's difference between friendship and romantic relationship. You can't always chose your friends or even best friends as your romantic partner cause you don't feel it and it doens't work like that. Just because someone's friends with you doens't mean you see them as your partner cause you want more and different. Also the ppl who says we make jm looks pathetic nahh bro fact here is it's you who love the "jm fell first jk fell harder" edits not us. Jm is sweetheart with everyone and he especially takes care of his younger ones, he babies V too who's literally 2 months younger than him. Just because jk learned how to be nice over the years doens't mean it can erase what he said when he was 18-19-20 yrs old. He did say all those things to jm it is what it is.

About the anon who said you have been waiting for jm and jk to reveal their partners from 2017 cause ppl said so then you and those people both are dumb cause why on earth would you think they're gonna reveal their partners at their peak?? By revealing their partners i completely mean them officially introducing and CONFIRMING their partners which is also not the case with taennie (i know they dated but they never confirmed so doens't fit in what i mean). Like they debuted in 2013 and you were expecting their partner's official reveal in 2017 cause some ppl said so? Lol. But here i say wait for some more years. Let them get to the age of 35-40 and you'll see. And the list you posted to show how jungkook treats jm can be applied to how jungkook treats other members too then, so maybe he's dating them too (again except one gcft yet). Btw we all did saw jungkook with a woman at night in his apartment, back hugging her....yes he doesn't have a gc now but does that earse the exsistance of that video? The times when jkkrs were like "he's missing his love of life jm" while the guy was having women at his home? Sure. He was missing jm so much that rather visiting jm at any of his sets or anything like other members jungkook was at home doing lives singing songs live..i see how much he was missing. I'm not telling this because i expected that from him it's because y'all make big deal out of nothing.

Anyways, idt y'all gonna be here after those many yrs but if y'all stay I'd love to see that reaction.

Again with the anachronisms

I'm running out of patience here-

When did you find out Jimin was insecure about his looks??? 2013, 2014? 2015 when he was in his hypermasculine state doing 360 flips in the air, flexing his biceps, talking bout girls chasing him, when he was strong confident in his masculinty and showing it off- is this the same year he opened up about his vulnerabilities???

In fact when did Jimin discuss this self image issue???

And when was Jungkook teasing Jimin????

Making fun of his insecurities bitch you're crazy. Lost it. Pulling stuff from your ass get a life cos your whole existence is an illusion.

In your crazy delusional head what did you think was happening???

Poor poor insecure Jimin walking around shy hiding from people explaining to everyone he has body image issues while his younger maknae followed him around pointing to him telling the world his biceps was fake his abs had been drawn on????

Same Jimin who had the hyung line busting their ass off to catch up? Same Jimin whom the company used as a model for the others to emulate Same Jimin whom the company preferred him showcasing his gorgeous body and the others had to work had to attain his level of physique but even that they were still passed over for Jimin???

Same Jimin?????

Use your brains for a sec, with the way he looked and the way he carried himself around who could tell he was feeling insure??? You only know that NOW years forward into the future when he opened up and not the actual moment it was happening.

You think Jungkook would play like that with him if he knew any of that ? And ever since he'd become like that- well as you put it, he's been "nice".

Well well well

Again confirming my diagnosis of you and your kind

"Just because JK has learned to be nice over the years don't erase what he said and did when he was 18 19 20

Actually he was 15, 16, 17 you creep.

Also you are not saying anything we don't know. Like I said WE KNOW HOW YALL WORK you not difficult to figure out.

At least you admitting he's a nice person others of your kind have a hard time admitting that.

If you want to Judge a grown man you claim is nice over his playful ribbings with HIS FRIENDS WHILE HE WAS A MINOR that's your crazy to deal with.

But do tell that to your new recruits and the impressionable minds you try to twist and brainwash like the fine Tuktukker relative you are.

I simply disagree with you. That's all.

I don't see any of what he said and did as malicious. He did it with everyone and especially Taehyung. Jimin simply wasn't comfortable with that which is fine because he's after all not a very typical or traditional male in every sense of the word and how was Jungkook to know he couldn't just toss him around and throw him in the air and break his back like he was doing his other friends.

We all have our idiosyncrasies and I think BTS work so well because they have learned to respect eachother's boundaries- well some of them.

I think if that was Jimins boundaries he is entitled to his boundaries and all anyone can do is respect those boundaries.

But I'm starting to also appreciate why JK solos would equally hate Jimin and Jimin stans like you.

I mean for one he was also constantly disturbing that dude trying to kiss him and bug him when CLEARLY JUNGKOOK ALSO DIDN'T WANT THAT especially as it was done publicly. For an introverted fella I can see how stressful that whole experience must have been for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Poor poor guy 🥲

Respect goes both ways Anon.

You can't insist on your boundaries while also constantly pushing someone else's. Especially since Jungkook was the shy type and didn't like being the center of attention. If someone doesn't want to be bothered or doesn't want to be friends with you you leave them alone. You don't act sad about it on camera and inadvertently put your fans on their back.

I'm open to discussing all the toxic things Jimin did as a teen with you since you enjoy living in the past but ll rather redirect you to another toxic Jk solo who is equally stuck in the past as you so you two can take each other out.

For me, jikook grew and I grew with them.

Take care.

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