#btw this post is only to the polish part of my followers if its not clear enough lmao

[pawl3ss]

To my dearest polish followers and mutuals...

TŁUSTY CZWARTEK 🗣‼️🇵🇱🇵🇱🍩

I cant draw donuts :'V

[hanzajesthanza]

alright i'm gonna post all of regis' comic hits and funny lines. because idk if i ever really made a compilation of all them. gonna have to post this in parts because tumblr only allows 30 images per post

"they don't chew five-hundred year old bones"

... and in retrospect, his reaction to geralt's presence is also funny. he literally did the "interesting" i carly meme

"............ one could also call it that." (this "mass" / "mash" is also original to the polish and not invented for the english translation, which is always nice)

i warned you about mandrake distillate bro!!! i told you dog!!

i didn't hear anything 😇 tell me more drama pls

this is mostly only funny in retrospect, but it's one of my favorites

baptism of fire, in which geralt is followed by a clown car that keeps taking in more clowns as they go

"a moment ago i saw him accepting a chicken" (obviously not a funny situation, but the commentary is funny. it feels monty python-ish to me)

i'm human i guess, because i laughed

asides from the humbling and shaming a corrupt priest (iconic btw) the joke i find here is that he held the (still white-hot) horseshoe up and asked who it belonged to, as if this was a pressing and concerning matter to find its owner, when he had just caused a great commotion in the crowd by sticking his hand directly into the fire. it's like walking out of a burning building unharmed and asking where the nearest pub is because your throat's a little parched

👈nilfgaardian

he's such a troll

i already analyzed why this is clever and funny and it's kind of long so i won't go into it here but yes prove idiocy wrong king lol

mockery is the highest form of friendship

he's like an old queen that's heard all the microaggressions and has a comeback for each and every one of them

"it can't be a party without blood, after all!" said to a bunch of humans

multiple versions of this joke - original version is "[drinking] to the mirror?" "worse, i don't reflect in mirrors"

more of his entire backstory is some dark comedy parody of real-life stereotypes of alcoholism, peppered with vampire jokes ...

"return to the crypt" = return to the flat, house, apartment

"flew under the influence" = drove under the influence

regis interrupting to pointedly ask dandelion "can you do basic math" is funny, even if in their setting education is less common, still funny. feels like a reply to a youtube comment

"THANK YOU. next 👏myth👏"

i treat "take a closer look at those trees" as a meme related to infodumping, but also funny is regis saying "... angren gold" as if everyone would know what he meant by that, it's like he intentionally used a peculiar phrase so his friends would ask him what that meant, so he could explain it to them...

all too often, i fall into the very same writing trap which blood and wine DLC did: wanting to see regis as a really deep and tragic character, instead of recognizing that the whole point is the subversion of a vampire being not a wretched creature worthy of pity, but instead just another clown in the human circus

so, i’m guilty and i will be the first to walk into missed-the-point jail

[sillysnack]

the madrigal theater 😱

daily headcanon masterlist

day 15: feb. 14, 2022

— — — — — — — — — —

notes: part one here ! this is post canon btw !! so i changed some stuff abt bruno’s room lol :P also idfk what im doing with this

“cloud its feb. 19″ im a time traveler /j

posted the whole fic on ao3 :D (link)

— — — — — — — — — —

“they’re laughing about me again... wonder why this time.” camilo grumbles. isabela and mirabel only join in the laughter, despite not knowing why dolores and antonio were laughing.

“i think deserved.” mirabel giggles. camilo frowns. he can’t win, can he? thankfully for the shapeshifter, their abuela tells them to all gather in bruno’s new room. it was still spacious but didn’t have multiple flights of stairs that the whole family would walk up.

“bruno told me all about the story. i have to say, it’s good.” bruno beams with pride and announces, “agustín and félix are in charge of the songs and casting. take the floor, you two.”

agustín and félix look at the little scribbles on their hands and whisper to each other, bruno occasionally nodding and pointing at the vision.

agustín squints his eyes. “i don’t know who that is... can you remove the sticker?” bruno nods, “not in front of them though, obviously.” he chuckles.

camilo shapeshifts into antonio and approaches the trio. he tugs at the hem of félix's pants. “can i see tío's vision?” félix rolls his eyes. “camilo, your brother’s with dolores with mirabel.” the two turn to antonio, whose nails are being painted by his sister and cousin. camilo returns to his original look and shrugs. “it was worth a shot. can i still see tío's vision though?”

félix sighs. there’s no arguing with him, is there? he looks at agustín and bruno, who both nod. camilo greedily removes the butterfly sticker covering the person in the vision. “huh. they’re small.”

the three men simultaneously whisper to camilo, “that’s your brother.” camilo’s face turns into a mixture of disgust and confusion. “dolores said this was a horror slash romance?” bruno covers up his laughing with coughs. “you know your sister can be a little mischievous too.”

camilo narrows his eyes for a split second. can’t catch a break with this family. it makes sense, though. we’re all just a bunch of mischievous people grouped together. i want to say abuela’s an exception but she’s not... ever since casita broke down, so did her stoic demeanor. holy shit, camilo. was that you?

camilo walks up to antonio’s little party, isabela and luisa joined in as well. “mind if i crashed the party?”

mirabel replies with a question, “do you want our honest answer?” camilo rolls his eyes and sits on the floor beside them. he grabs the orange nail polish, isabela lightly slaps his hand. “i’ll do your nails! i’ve seen you put on nail polish, it’s decent but i want to do it.” camilo reaches his hand out. “be my guest.”

the grandkids talk amongst themselves while the adults do the same. it looked like a mini party was happening in bruno madrigal’s room. the atmosphere was happy, content. they almost forgot about the musical that agustín, bruno, and félix had made in two hours.

almost.

“oh, right. the musical.”

pepa smiles. “i was wondering when you guys were going to talk about it.” félix gives his wife a kiss on the cheek, “your wish is our command.”

the whole family spent four hours in bruno’s room, talking about a whole musical they would all star in. the target audience? themselves.

mirabel, luisa, and agustín were in charge of costumes. bruno, dolores, and alma made sure everyone knew their parts, they wrote the script; occasionally arguing about whose version of a scene to follow. julieta, pepa, félix were the stage directors, they helped show how certain scenes and lines were to be performed.

while everyone in the family were musically talented, camilo, agustín, dolores, and luisa wrote and composed the songs. they would also be playing the background music in certain scenes.

— — —

2 weeks passed by like a blur in the casita, everyone had stuff to do for the townspeople but none of them seemed to mind the overwhelming number of tasks; casita itself even helped make the backgrounds for the musical.

to put it short, the family madrigal gave their all for a family project.

it was now the day where they would perform the musical. before the performance started, dolores made sure to set up a camera, so each family member could take photos of what they deemed were important moments...

...which was almost the whole musical.

they set up the first scene on the stage in camilo’s room. it was the obvious choice for them to hold the musical, given the fact it was a literal theater. 

depicting the story of a young adventurer, accompanied by his sister and abuela. they were all played by antonio, mirabel, and alma, respectively. at the ripe age of five, his parents (played by félix and pepa, of course) had told him to acquire some hidden treasure along with some trusted people. why the parents couldn’t accompany the boy was unknown.

the young boy’s adventure had been a rocky one. first, his sister got taken by a group of bandits (bruno, isabela, and camilo). she had lost to a duel with their leader, which was beautifully executed through song form.

the boy and his abuela then lost all their resources; thankfully, a kind couple was there to help them. the couple is played by julieta and agustín, who both sang hints on how the boy could get to the treasure his parents spoke of.

a few scenes later, the character of bruno appears, disheveled. he sings of how he no longer wishes to be a bandit, antonio’s character hears all of this and convinces him to abandon that path. the young boy gained a new friend.

the former bandit talks to the young boy and his abuela about his sister’s location.

while antonio was on stage for most of the musical, family members who weren’t in a scene were the audience. they made sure to appreciate the musical of a lifetime.

an hour passes by and they all get to the stage and bow to casita, who enthusiastically swings the doors to camilo’s room.

“ay, what time is it?” félix’s question is answered with silence.

“so much stuff in my room and not a clock in sight...” camilo looks at his cousins and sister. “you’re all helping me clean.” félix nudges his son on the side. “i’m right!” he chuckles.

“well, we did start this at around 5 PM...” bruno mumbles to himself, then speaks to the rest of the family. “it’s probably 7 PM right now.”

“is anyone hungry?” julieta ties her hair up, ready to head to the kitchen. pepa grabs her sister. “you’ve done too much for us. we’ll cook dinner tonight, right?” the other madrigals nod. julieta’s a little hesistant, what if something bad happens to casita?

“if you say so... i’ll be keeping watch on you all.”

mirabel laughs. “relax, mom! what’s the worst that could happen? they say ‘the more, the merrier’, right?”

[pub-lius]

De-Georgianizing George Bickham’s Penmanship Made Easy (Young Clerk’s Assistant)

I got this idea a while ago after I made my post about Weird History’s video on Alexander Hamilton, and after @quillsink complemented my post on 18th century penmanship and boosted my ego (you really shouldn’t complement me or I might have self esteem). So, here’s another informal post where I basically just profit off of an old, dead man’s work :D

In the 18th century, people weren’t just given crayons and told to write their name and figure it out from there. They learned from workbooks, like the Young Clerk’s Assistant, that showed them how to from the letters, how to sit properly, and gave example sentences to copy. For purposes of improving my god-awful handwriting and to see what it was like to learn how to write in the 18th century, I purchased this book and went through it, doing only the Round-hand because it looked the easiest. 

Georgie starts by dictating every aspect of your entire life. Here’s a dumbed down version of his silly little list:

-The size of letters is determined by O and N, so make sure you know how to write those ig

-Georgie wants you to suffer so your down-strokes should be THICC and your up-strokes should be very tiny, done with the corner of your pen. Idk if it’s just my quills or if I’m stupid (probably both) but this is impossible and I gave up on this a long time ago

-NEVER TURN YOUR PEN OR THE POSITION OF YOUR HAND

-He says something weird about your up and down-strokes being proportioned and “answer one another” so I would just say uh... make it pretty

-Letters without stems (e, m, u, s, etc.) MUST be even at the top and bottom, so like the same width and height

-Your stems (d, h, etc.) should be equal in height to lowercase L, except t. This drives me crazy because I’m so used to making t the same as the other letters with stems, but its supposed to be shorter, like closer to i.

-Stems going below (y, q, etc.) should be equal in length to j. As you can tell, symmetry is key

-Capitals should be equal to lowercase L, but “a little stronger”, so I’ll leave that up to your interpretation

-The space between words should be twice the difference between letters, and the spaces between lines should be twice the distance of L, so that low hanging stems don’t intersect with the line below. I, apparently, forgot this rule lol

-Hold your pen between two fingers, almost straight (???) and the thumb bending. The nib, or point, of your pen should be flat 

-Put your paper directly in front of you and your hand should be supported by your pinkie finger (gotta do some finger gymnastics jesus).

-Rest your arm ~lightly~ between the wrist and elbow (okay then)

-Sit up straight you baby and keep your elbow close to your side

-Rest your body on your left arm, keeping the paper down with your left hand. And eat food by chewing and breathe by taking in air through your nose and mouth

-NEVER LEAN HARD ON YOUR PEN (make me)

-write slow at first :)

-this one is stupid. make the nib of your pen (”for the round and round hand text hands”) the ~breadth~ of the full stroke, and the part close to the hand? shorter and narrower. I don’t understand this so I don’t listen (omg do I follow any of these rules jesus-)

-for the Italian Hand, make the nib ~finer~ and the slit? longer (if you chose to use the italian hand you’re asking for these confusing rules i can’t help you)

-when numbers appear with letters, the numbers must slope

-numbers should also be bigger than letters

-when you’re writing numbers in columns (because you do that all the time) make them upright

For fun, I’m going to include some moral maxims because I thought some of them were pretty good and they’re good for practice and for examples of how the youth were educated. They had to copy these a bunch when they were learning so they at least subconsciously learned them

-Art polishes and improves nature

-Beauty’s a fair but fading flower

-Fortune’s a fair but fickle mistrefs [mistress]

-Knowledge is a godlike attribute

-Necefsiy [necessity] is the mother of invention

-Variety is the beauty of the world

-Zeal misapply’d is pious phrenzy

I also copied a couple exercises in this book such as copying the days of the week, the months and their amount of days, and a list of Christian names. There’s also this funny little passage that I copied, so I’ll include that as the conclusion to this post. BTW it’s sounds a bit misogynistic but I can’t exactly discern a moral? Like it’s just like “you know how water moves with wind? Yeah women are like that but instead of junk being in the water, the dirt and stuff is men.” and im like “...okay? is that... is that it?” Idk i hate poetry.

“In a dull Stream, which moving flow, You hardly See the Current flow. If a Small Breeze obstructs the Courfe [course], It whirles about for want of Force; And in its narrow Circle gathers Nothing but Chaff, & Straw, & Feathers. The Current of a Female’s Mind Stops thus, and turns with every wind. Thus whirling round, together draws Fools, Fops, & Rakes, for Chaff & Straws.” 

[sollannaart]

Portraits of prince Józef Poniatowski.

Part I - painted during his life time

A couple of days ago, having stumbled upon an image made with FaceApp which showed Poniatowski as “teenager”, I shared a real picture of him as a fifteen years old boy.

And this, in turn, hinted me that I should show you the rest scans and photos of Pepi’s portraits I have in my digital collection. (Most of them you have probably seen, but nevertheless...)

With your permission I’ll skip the above-mentioned one (who is interested can just scroll a little bit down to the previous post ;))

And the next in my list will be this image, painted in 1787 by Josef Grassi:

That time prince Józef lived in Vienna, and his namesake Grassi portrayed that time the Austrian high-society.

Together with the full-height version with a horse Grassi produced as well this bust version (in 1790):

But that time prince Józef already left Vienna, having joined the freshly reestablished (according decrees of the Great Sejm) Polish army.

And the following Grassi’s image painted in 1792 (it is, btw, one of my favorite) shows Pepi in Polish uniform with the Cross of Virtuti Militari Order:

Poniatowski got this order from his uncle-king for his military successes in 1792 war with Russia.

From times of that war originates as well the next sketch, made by the wife of general Pouppart:

As you can see, it was about that time when prince Józef started to grow mustache.

But together with this our charming prince started... to loose his hair. And a couple of years later he looked more likely like this:

Why did such a thing happened to the prince? Well, in my opinion it may have been caused my genetics. But, as diarists recalled, many a tragical events in in his and, especially, his country life if that time might have affected Poniatowski that way...

But time went on. Warsaw, where prince Józef settled after his uncle’s abdication and death, after being for more than 10 years a provincial Prussian city, in 1807 became the capital of the Duchy Warsaw.

As for Poniatowski himself - he became the war minister of the Duchy and its army commander. And, as the war with Austrians in 1809 ended with Polish victory (and the Duchy’s expansion), prince Józef became popular again.

And the next portrait, by the Polish painter Józef Kosiński, was created just that time, circa 1809-1810:

Pepi is shown here in the general’s uniform of the Duchy of Warsaw. And his curly dark hair is only a wig (together, btw, with side-whiskers!)

And now, I am afraid, we are coming to the end, because the next will be the last portrait for which Poniatowski definitely sat.

It’s author is the Saxon painter Johann Heinrich Schmidt, the work was started in 1812, and... by the time of Pepi’s death still not finished:

Though some colored its version appeared later:

And what about the rest of the portraits, including the most known one (which, btw, I have on my avatar)?

Alas, the majority of images of the prince Józef were painted already after his death... So - I’ll show them later, in a separate post.

PS. I can’t help showing you this sketch. It looks like a copy of the previous portrait, and the prince here doesn’t look very much himself, but...

But for some reasons this is the face which is easy for me to imagine as a modern person. And which I like most of all from all his images:

[forbidding-souda]

sorry if this is a bit much but can i please request a female reader having a secret crush on souda & putting love letters into his locker? and then souda finds out its her and confesses? tysm!

Kazuichi Souda with fem! Reader that has a secret crush on him

Ya’ll are so creative this is so cute yes yes yes this is gonna get a lil cliche just bc it’s me and i’m outta pocket rn it’s 23:00 deal with me for now

I was gonna americanize it but I really wanted to go with my comfort of calling him Souda instead of Kazuichi - so on that note - does Hope’s Peak Academy have getabako’s????? Does anyone know??? Bc istg those kids wear their outside shoes in that academy.... maybe only the reserve course wears the indoor slippers LMAO.

Also btw am i the only one who liek??? Am I tripping or does my tumblr not notify me when my asks are answered? Bc when I checked the accounts of the people, my ask was posted, but I didn’t get a notification ya’ll am I tripping or.

-Mod Souda

Once again, you spend most of your class time with color pencils, coloring the edges of the paper you wrote on that morning. You shade in hearts, lollipops, and cute things of the sorts.

The writing, in perfect pen, just compliments him on the kind things about him. His beautiful smile, his joyful laugh... oh, just everything you love about him!

Even thinking about him makes your chest all fuzzy, plus a little twing of anxiety.

You have started putting love letters on his shoes in the getabako, which is a fine venting system to get your feelings out directly but anonymously, but when will you get tired of it? 

Putting your love letters in such a dirty area is disgusting on your behalf, too, but it’s better than risking it to try and put them on his desk.

It’s not going to satisfy your need for communication for much longer.

He’s also obsessed with Sonia, which isn’t a plus on your behalf. Just thinking about it gives you a headache. 

Souda, make it make sense!

You sigh through your nose once the bell rings. Pack up the color pencils and wait for him to put on his shoes and leave. That’s easy. 

Just like every other day.

He talks with Tanaka when he walks, passing your classroom. You distinguish his voice immediately.

It’s interesting, actually. The two of you have almost never talked. Well, maybe a bit.

You’re a nice friend of one of his classmates, so when you often get free time after school, you can sneak your way into the bunch.

Every conversation with him is ingrained into your memory. You couldn’t stop being amazed by him! His hair, his smile, his eyes. You complimented it all!

Now, you follow their voices down the hall, waving bye to your peers while slipping the note in your book bag.

Thoughts start to slip into your mind. What if he is going to start waiting by his getabako? Has he planted one of his friends to try and spy you out?

Maybe places them there isn’t safe anymore.

Or you’re just being overly suspicious. Jeez, this is all too overwhelming!

After putting on your shoes, you look over. His locker is void of people after all. 

Again, you put the note on his slippers before walking away.

How embarrassing.

The next morning, you wake up early to get ready for school. 

And then, you take time to start writing your love letter of the day.

Your mind seems to be occupied recently with Souda Kazuichi. Is that really healthy? 

Maybe you should start focusing on other things.

You should paint your nails. Yes, that’ll help!

What color does Souda like? He does like pink, doesn’t he? Pink will do then.

Sitting, with music playing softly in your house, you paint your nails a vibrant shade of pink while the sun begins to open up in the morning sky.

Being slow isn’t exactly your whole deal. So you were cautious enough to paint your nails after getting all ready. And with wet nails, you pack your halfway written letter and head out the door.

You blow on your nails the entire time there, whining once you notice the smudges on some of your fingers. Embarrassing! You should have spent more time to wait for them to dry. 

It doesn’t matter all that much anyways. Not like anyone will notice your nails.

Souda is putting on his shoes by the time you get there. Around the same time, how romantic.

You smile a bit.

“Hey, Y/N!” He greets. You take a short time to scan his person for the note. It’s tucked into his pocket, you can vaguely see. At least he has it.

“Good morning, Souda!” You wave to him.

He pauses for a moment. It draws you back a few steps. Is it not morning? Is that not his name? What did you say wrong?

“Did you paint your nails pink?” He asks, eyes wide with amusement.

That’s a relief. But also not. He wasn’t supposed to notice.

“Oh, yes I did, but I smudged them though so I’m not too happy about how they turned out.” Stepping close to him, you display your nails out.

“You did them this morning?”

Every part of you is nervous. What should you say? What can you even respond with? Will he think it’s weird?

“I had the time.” You just say before turning to but on your slippers. He smiles from behind your back.

In class, as usual, you spend your time decorating the card. And since you didn’t finish it in the morning, you even wrote some of the words in different colors! It looks cute, and it’s definitely a way to waste your time. Nothing really goes on in Hope’s Peak Academy. Who knew.

But eventually, after the school day, you put the letter on his shoes. Hopefully he isn’t cheating by waiting.

That always plagues your mind. But he wouldn’t do that.

The walk home is peaceful. The sky is cloudy again, and if you look up, it’s cellphone wires and a blueish grey hue. Not gloomy as always.

Maybe you’re just happy.

Happiness. It’s such a positive thing. A boy - that doesn’t even belong to you - is making you happy? It seems like such a timeless, fleeting thing.

Hopefully it can be permanent.

The morning comes again, where you eat breakfast and prepare for your day at the academy.

You stare at yourself a little longer in the mirror today. Would Souda like you? 

Your hands run down your shirt. Of course he would! You shouldn’t be so silly.

Packing up the daily note, you make your way to school again.

The sun peers down at you. That’s sweet. Brightening up your day.

It makes you laugh a little.

When you get to school, you don’t see him. He’s probably already in class.

You slip on your shoes before calmly walking towards your class.

Oh?

Souda stands, his arms crossed, looking anxious. 

You almost turn around.

Bye.

But he notices you quickly, his eyes lightening a bit. The deep fear in your gut doesn’t go away, only worsening as he steps closer to you. You’re frozen in place. Your feet have melted to the ground.

“H-Hey-”

“It’s you, isn’t it?” He almost looks excited.

“What?” Unbelievable.

“The notes... it’s you, right?”

Your cheeks start to heat. “Just tell me if you planted someone to wait for me to put them down. Is that how you figure it out? Jeez, I assumed you weren’t going to cheat like that!”

Every possible emotion swirls through his eyes for a second before settling on a soft smugness. He pulls out a letter from your pocket, and twisting it to show the back. “You smeared that pink nail polish on it.”

Honestly, you had assumed that had happened. It wasn’t a big deal until he noticed your nails that morning.

He continues, “But yes! I love the notes you give me, I was looking forward to them every day! I really think you’re cute, S/O... so do you want to go on a date with me... sometime maybe?” 

His confidence drizzles the more he went on.

Your heart levitates. It is like your entire body is surrounded by hearts.

“Oh, of course! That would be lovely!”

The two of you stand there, bewildered by each other. It’s quiet for a second.

“I - uhm... see you after school, then?” He suggests.

“That would be lovely, Souda.”

A blush forms on his face. “You can call me Kazuichi.”

[jcmorrigan]

So... Did you hear about the new TWEWY game coming out yet?

Oooohhhh boy. Neo. I have heard about Neo, and I’m not happy.

Let me start by saying that Sho Minamimoto is my favorite character. I love him SO much. And every single reason for this lies in his villainy (no matter what a younger, more morality-obsessed me would try to tell you). This is a young rebel who decides he wants to fight God and rule over all dead people in this city. He asserts his dominance by chucking Dadaist trash piles all over the place and going “This is MINE because I put my TRASH here!” He’s an utter slimeball and that’s why he’s ENJOYABLE to me.

 I do not see any of this magic being recaptured so long as he has to play nice with the hero team.

 Maybe he won’t be redeemed. He could be the Token Evil Teammate – though that still wouldn’t allow him as much freedom and fun as his days of roping angels and the FORBIDDEN type of evil encounter monster into a grand conspiracy. Or he could be a Twist Villain, but let’s be real – modern media is never that obvious about who the twist bad guy is.

 (Except No Straight Roads, which understood that a predictable Twist Villain is an effective one. ILSYM NSR. But that studio is considerably smaller than Squenix and can do what it wants, like allowing its voice actors to say a queer ship the fans made is good. Oh, I long for the day when a Squenix developer will actually validate even ONE of our gay ships in FF or KH.)

 The other thing is that I only very recently just checked out A New Day’s scenes. Like, a week ago. Remember when I put up that edit of Coco Atarashi x Symonne from Tales of Zestiria? That’s the timeframe to mark. Listen. I grew up on old-school TWEWY on the DS. I never played any of the Remixes. So after seeing enough content of Coco on my dash, I was like “I should actually watch the epilogue that has this cool Reaper who pretends to be cute but isn’t” (an archetype I like a lot these days).

 The thing about A New Day is that we live in a post-KHIII world, which kinda affects how I view all of Squenix. A New Day felt like KHIII levels of complication. Not like the “KH is complicated” jokes of old in which it was just long and had lots of continuity so people were like “This is too much to keep track of” (which it wouldn’t have been if they’d packaged the Remix games on the same console from the start, but I digress). As in how in III and the prequel/Daybreak era, Nomura and his crew have started throwing in alternate realities and time travel because they keep getting bored with the plot they’re doing now and want to make it something else. You know what else KHIII did a lot of? Villain redemptions. Vexen, who is even dearer to me than Sho, became not only a hero, but a hero who lost all of his personality. Most fanfics I’ve seen that deal with his redemption at least keep him in character to who Vexen used to be. But canon decided he doesn’t even have a personality anymore, and so you wonder why I’m worried about Sho?

 Also to consider: the fact that KHIII insists on tying itself to TWEWY lore. I just want to forget the worst parts of that game, but canon won’t let me, the fandom won’t let me, and I’m SURE Neo won’t let me. Neo is going to remind me that Sora yeeted himself into the sun because one (1) of his friends was important than the entire collective of the other people who love him and it’s probably going to have to do with him running around somewhere.

 Or it won’t. After all, there’s no hint of that. There’s also no hint it’s going to resolve the cliffhanger from A New Day. Neku is nowhere to be found, even though Sho was supposed to be his partner. Coco is nowhere to be seen. Sho’s existence and the naming of Hype-Chan are the only proof I have that AND is going to be followed up on at all (BTW, “Tsugumi”? Nothing objectively wrong with it; I’m just so deep in the DanganRonpa hole that I will constantly say “Tsumugi” by accident). And maybe the other stuff’s hidden because the crew is guarding spoilers, but those are all plot threads we very clearly expected as of AND, so there’s nothing to spoil if you cut your footage right. It seems so backward to me that we have to design a whole new crew of characters to take over the story to finish a plot that involves Neku somehow. (Though Nomura is designing them and again, he gets bored with what he’s doing so quickly and wants to move onto the next thing, which means he should really just start making different series or oneshots instead of trying to pack it all into one. TWEWY was best when it was a standalone thing with no worry of series rot.)

 It also just feels unfair to me that it has this whole 3D battle system and OG TWEWY just got its 2D system in high-def. Maybe this is because a couple months ago, I was having a chat with a friend about “If you were a game developer, what would you do” and I came up with this whole way to translate the TWEWY UI into the stuff of a fully voice-acted and animated 3D game, and now Neo is halfway there, and obviously the OG could have been translated to this, but it hasn’t been, and you need to understand OG TWEWY in order to get Neo’s plot, so why can’t we streamline them both? REALLY remake OG TWEWY into something that matches its successor? I just love the story and characters of classic TWEWY, and I’d sooner see that all polished up on a new platform and made accessible to a new audience of gamers than just blowing on to a new cast and a plot that I’m really not sure will be good.

 But in the end, if Sho Minamimoto is fun, I’ll be happy, and I’m afraid he won’t be. I’m afraid he’ll either go full antihero or be diluted into “evil, but only in his words” by the ball-and-chain of the party around him. Oh, and did I mention I’m gonna be real mad when we eventually have to deal with how Sora fits into this?

 I do really, really love Sho’s new coat, though. Like…an insane amount. I might actually reblog fanart of him in that coat if people are drawing it because as much as I am not excited for this game, the costume design is already gorgeous.

[attract-mode-collective]

So, About That Pac-Man Championship Edition Demake...

My current fave game is a Famicom/NES iteration of one of an all-time fave titles for the Xbox 360: Pac-Man Championship Edition. Which was recently released as a bonus title of sorts, for the recently released Namcot Collection.

But the video above is not said game. Or is it?

Said video was published in 2017. Three years ago? Alas its uploader provides zero precious info; when someone in the comments asked where the rom came from, the answer was just...

"Idk"

And when asked if said uploader still has it, the response was simply...

"not anymore"

It's worth noting that I saw the video above courtesy of @gosokkyu, who states...

"...that "8-bit demake" of Pac-Man Championship Edition may very well be based on an old Japanese homebrew, similar to Sega's acquisition of the fan-made Darius port for the Mega Drive Mini"

A few days later, Siliconera (side note: who out there remembers my days as their East Coast Editor?) published an interview with Naoki Horii, from M2, which (not surprisingly) is responsible for Namcot Collection. Though the focus was, of course, "Pac-Man Championship Edition (FC Arrange Version)" and the following is perhaps the most interesting part...

"... we originally negotiated to port the game to Nintendo 3DS, and afterwards, we’ve been working on this for around nearly five years."

Wait, so is the M2's version and the one seen above not the same thing, as in from totally different parties? Anyone who has played the one that just came out for the Switch can tell you that it's somewhat different than what you see in the video, or should I say hear... the audio in the retail release is more polished... but otherwise they're VERY similar.

But then along comes @blizzardjesus, who shared this second video, which appears to be the same version as seen above... except it's eleven years old?

I then decided to go back to the previous YouTube video's comments section and take a closer look. These two, from the same person, really stood out...

"Nobody has the rom/patch because the creator, Coke774, never released it, just the footage. He did some minor patches found over at romhacking but not a lot. I suspect it wasn't released for legal reasons."

And...

"... it is what it is. This was never released so unfortunately, for now, all we have is footage like this. Maybe one day it will get released but Coke774, for some reason, isn't releasing it yet. https://togetter.com/li/743867 - you can see there they made a homebrew cartridge of it for themselves."

That link compiles various social media content into a blog post-like container. Included is various Niconico videos, including one for Coke774's "Nintendo version Pac-Man CE (Port without permission)". Alas, it's no longer viewable, but check this out; a cartridge version, of sorts, was produced via the usage of Kirby's Adventure...

The photo above was shared by someone else on Twitter, @mucom88, back in 2014, which again proves that this other Pac-Man CE demake existed before M2 began working on theirs. Maybe?

Now, not to get off track here, but something else by Coke774 that caught my eye was "Famicom version Gradius (AC conversion)". Sorry, but I’m simply a massive Gradius fanboy; again, it's associated Niconico footage is long gone, but, footage does exist... via Coke774's YouTube channel!

It too saw a "physical release", and the following was again taken by @mucom88 in 2014...

Fellow Import Club member @joe_keiser, who unearthed Coke774′s YouTube account, observed: "Notably pac man CE is not on his channel". Interesting! 

So the original question stands: was M2's Pac-Man CE demake made completely separately, and it just so happens to coincidentally to be VERY similar to a homebrew project? There's enough evidence of Coke774's handiwork that makes me believe that his version wasn't faked... so I'm assuming that he was simply hired by M2?

Yet, as evidenced by the fact that there’s a “2019″ in the title of that last video, it would appear that he still does stuff on the side? Hey, did he by chance work on the hidden arcade version of Gradius for the PC Engine Mini? Even more questions!

UPDATE #1: I just realized that the link with all the compiled tweets and Niconico footage no longer works! Yet it was up, only just a few hours ago… again, interesting!

UPDATE #2: I initially thought that now dead link was non-functional due to a mistake on my end. Which is not the case (though it’s still VERY odd how it all of sudden all the contents JUST disappeared), yet I decided to check everything else, just cuz.

Well, I just came across another Twitter thread from @gosokkyu once again, which in addition to side-by-side comparisons, also has the following discovery… 

"I did a quick search and dude pulled his old webpage and privated all his Pacman CE videos towards the end of last year"(!!!)

You'll also find links to all of the now private vids, BTW/FYI.

[liveandloveandlearn]

The case against Self Help books at 5:30 AM

I didn’t intend to write this cuz the case is very clear to me. But I woke up at 5:30 AM and couldn’t go back to sleep. Then i run into a post from an  old...acquaintance (friend is a strong word) on facebook, sparking some pretty personalized thoughts on this case. Here’s what he wrote:

“Stay Calm. Speak Clearly. Don’t be nervous - Advice that will get you out of a sticky situation 99/100 of the time. Agree/Disagree?”

Before I shred this “advice” into pieces, I would say that if this “advice” had been worded slightly differently and reflects its essence a bit more accurately, I would be totally on board. As someone who not too long ago learnt that she’s been carrying around about 3000 tons of social anxiety her whole life, I cannot down play the importance of“staying calm”, “speaking clearly” and “don’t be nervous”. That’s essentially a part of the foundation for building a strong presence and communication, for accessing your knowledge and critical thinking on the spot, and for good decision making. I’m still in my strive to practice that. Totally on board. These are very worthy GOALS for someone who wants to improve themselves or keep something in mind to remind themselves how to act.

Now to the shredder. 

HOW are we supposed to stay calm, speak clearly and not be nervous when we’re human and part of our brain is prone to freak out and be nervous? 

WHAT if we have social anxiety? 

WHAT if no one really taught us how to speak (which is not a what if btw)? 

WHO has this advice helped getting out of sticky situations? WHAT KINDS of situation? 

HOW did you land at the 99/100 statistic? 

HOW can we so sure this would work? Would it still work if you do this but also don’t have a shred of self-awareness, or had done something really bad to get yourself into this “sticky situation”?

Oh potato tomato. “You’re just a downer, a nitpicker, a hater”, I can hear the originator of this “advice” says. I would be tempted to say “Well you’re a generalizer who doesn’t think the details through, and your advice is only good for charming people into agreeing with you, but won’t actually help anyone who needs help”

But I’m not gonna say that in this imaginary exchange. “You’re X” is not a great argument. How about I say: “If you really wanna help people, you might wanna get down to their level and the specific"

...

My acquaintance has a blog of hundreds of posts on self help topics. He has been writing often and consistently on this blog for years - which is very respectable. His blog is full of titles such as:

“You only have 2 choices at any given moment”

“The talent you lack is focus”

“You’ve been thinking about happiness all wrong”

Let’s be perfectly clear, I’m not gonna ridicule or make fun of him. The strive to be better, know better, do better is an absolutely admirable strive, not just in the “oh hey im a good person because I try” sense, but more so in the “I have so many reasons to succumb to nihilism but I’m still trying instead” kind of sense. But here’s the thing. He writes so much about what other people think/say/popularize/market that I can barely see him or hear him. It’s just pretty much a series of “ways to think about things” type of deal. I follow his logic and reasons, and then I feel absolutely nothing.

I get a feeling he struggles to engage an audience that he does want to engage, but he’s still pushing through and continue on. I considered dropping him a note as a reader telling him how much i admire his grit, but he might wanna personalize his lessons a little bit if he wants people to relate to it. Not just write about himself, although that does help, but could also be abused. But write about real stuff that happens, not just idealized, polished, curated logic and reasons. But I’m sure he thinks friend would be a strong words for me too:)). I don’t think i’ve earned the right to be super honest with him.

Maybe I would still say something, I don’t know. Why the hell do I care:))

I guess maybe i feel like such a committed writer should get to speak his own voice, not recited self help bs.

...

Lol i just realized I meant to make a real case agaisnt self help books and then i totally rant about something else. Ok how about this. Self help books might convince you not to think. They might tell you hey you’ve been dumb, blind, feral this whole time. Let us show you the way to absolute fulfillment, because you’re wonderful and you totally deserve it. Who wouldn’t want to believe thats true? Who wouldn’t want to believe that they are capable and totally deserve it? So they put their own voices and thoughts aside, deeming them unhelpful. They give up their unique vulnerabilities and strengths for a couple tips and tricks. That’s my case agaisnt self help books.

[scarofthewind]

Brahms Heelshire x Reader

A/N: I have been wanting to write this for a while now. I will start back on requests after this has been posted. (REQUESTS ARE OPEN). Female Reader! This is ‘A’ for the masterlist under Brahms Warnings: Foul language. (This is really long btw)

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart , and all they can do is stare blankly.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby. 

You had prepared for everything except rain. Cold, hard rain that beat down on you mercilessly as you slammed the broken down car’s door shut; suitcase by your feet and bag on your arm. “This can’t be happening.” You sighed, looking around for a sign of civilization anywhere near the English countryside you were located at. 

There was no bother in even checking your phone because it died while giving directions to the hotel you were supposed to be arriving at soon. Biting back tears of frustration, you pulled your suitcase behind you, walking the path made by cars, trying to find your way through the heavily wooded area before it gets dark outside. “Of all places to get stranded!” You mumbled angrily, your shoes getting stuck in the mud as you walked quickly.

Taking time away from home to have a fresher mind was one thing, but having your publishing company tell you that you needed a new start was another. The pages in your bag were no doubt ruined, and that only made you want to give up your hike to shelter. However, you weren’t someone who quit easily. Not when it came to making money to pay for your rent, that is. 

After what seemed liked hours, you came across a metal gate, the latch was rusted and the front mail slot had a name you could barely make out. Your eyes looked up at the huge house that stood past the gate and you continued inside, managing to break the latch in the process. 

Practically running to the front door, you knocked hard, hoping whoever was inside, could hear you despite the rain. “Hello! Please help me! My car broke down and I have no where else to stay!” You shivered from the soaked clothes you had on, your eyes stinging with warm tears as you feared for the worst. “Please! Hello?! Anybody?” You tried to open the door but it was locked.

The sound of cries where what made Brahms’ heart beat fast in his chest. Ever since Greta had left, he’d felt no reason to hide in the walls anymore, so he sat up off the couch and looked out the window; careful to not be seen. His eyes wandered over your dripping and shaking frame. “I don’t have much, but I’ll give you anything I can. Please just let me in.” You sniffled, wiping at your eyes and letting your bag fall off your shoulder.

Cursing under his breath, Brahms quickly unlocked the door for you before running and going to hide in the walls. As soon as you heard the door unlock, you turned the knob and went inside, dragging your suitcase and bag behind you. When the door closed, an echo went through the house. “Hello?” You asked, looking around but not seeing anyone. “Thank you for letting me in. My name is (Y/N) and I’m...” you bit your lip, running a hand through your dripping hair. “I’m lost.” 

Brahms watched you from a mirror across the hall, his gaze following you every step you took. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say this place was empty.” You said aloud, looking at the dust that collected on the dark wood linings of the house. 

Silently, you took your suitcase upstairs, finding a room that had a bed and bathroom. You grew excited when the shower’s hot water turned on and undressed, stepping inside the warm water and letting the cold be taken away. Not taking too long, you finished your shower and left the bathroom, changing into warmer clothes and pulling out your wet pages. “What am I supposed to do?” Your heart hurt thinking of worse thoughts like getting fired. 

However, your thoughts were interrupted by a soft thud in the room across from yours. “Hello?” You asked, getting up and going to the door and opening it slowly. Your eyes widened for a second when they met a pair of glass ones, sitting on a small bed. 

It was a doll. 

Your breath caught in your throat as you pushed the door open and looked around. This was, or used to be a child’s room, you thought, moving around and looking at all the toys. Turning around, you looked to the bed, the doll staring into space, cracks all over it’s face. 

“Who broke you?” You asked, gently touching the cracks and smoothing the hair out of its eyes. With a sad smile, you stood straight, trying to find a sign of a name. “You wouldn’t happen to be able to tell me your name, would you?” 

In the silence you frowned to yourself, “I’m talking to a doll.” You turned and walked back to your room, taking the ruined book pages and throwing them into the trash. You jumped when thunder rolled loudly outside, your nerves getting the best of you. 

“It’s fine. Everything is fine.” You told yourself, going to the kitchen and trying to find any source of food, which you found nothing. “Great. My work was ruined by the rain and now I’m going to starve.” You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands and stomping back up to your room. 

Turing the corner to enter the doorway of your room, you froze and gasped, seeing the doll sitting on your bed, a piece of paper laying next to him. You stayed where you were for a moment, slowly walking over to the object. “Are you...alive?” You asked, staring the doll in the eyes as you took the paper in your hands. 

In somewhat neat handwriting was a name, bold in black ink. “Brahms.” Lighting flashed and you felt your heart stop as the name left your lips. Your mind flashed to the article you’d written a few years back, about a woman who was a nanny to a ‘possessed doll’. You tried to remember the rest but you couldn’t focus on anything but the name and the connection the lady. 

Your skin crawled when a bump sounded from in the wall next to you, your heart raced faster than you thought possible. “That’s right.” You stood up, the paper in your hands shaking as you were. “Brahms...damnit what was the last name?” You bit your lip, pacing a bit. “It wasn’t the doll, someone was actually living...” You stopped mid sentence, remembering the woman’s face as she’d told you what happened when you had interviewed her. “He’s in the walls.” You said as you thought of her saying it. 

“Brahms-” 

“Heelshire.” The paper in your hand floated to the ground and you didn’t dare move a muscle, the deep voice came from near you but you couldn’t move. You just stared at the doll and hoped that if you blinked it would all be over with. 

“She left. I didn’t want her to go.” The voice was dangerously quiet as it moved around you. “Greta...she was mine!” A sudden crash made you jump in your place and you watched as a figure moved behind you, reflecting in the doll’s polished eyes. 

“Brahms.” You mumbled, causing the figure to stop. 

“What?” He snapped, he was right behind you. You could feel his towering presence and you cursed yourself for feeling his warmth comforting. 

“None of that should’ve ever happened to you.” Your voice was quiet and for a moment Brahms was at a loss for words. No one had ever remotely said anything like that to him, not even Greta, who faked the whole thing just to survive. 

“I don’t want your pity.” He growled, watching as you shook your head. 

“I’m not. I mean, I do feel sad that you’ve been so alone for all this time. But I don’t pity you entirely. What Greta did was something rude yet understandable.” You said, feeling your nerves start to calm down. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turned around to face a broad chest, clad in a stained tank top and the exposed skin covered with black chest hair. 

You took a step back and looked up at the man who wore half of a mask that you were confused by. Brahms stared down at you with the same confusion in his eyes. “Who are you?” He asked.

“My name is (Y/N). I’m a writer and I wrote an article about this case a while back. I didn’t know I’d ever actually come across this place. I’m sorry if I bothered you and I will leave-”

“No.” Brahms frowned, his eyes darkening.

“I have to otherwise-”

“NO!” He slammed his fists against the wall next to you and you nodded quickly. 

“Fine. That’s fine, I’ll stay.” You stared at him, wondering what he went through to be this hurt. 

“What did you mean when you said that stuff about Greta? That it was understandable?” 

“I just meant that no woman likes it when a man goes to extreme lengths to keep them in a place they don’t want to be. You were kind of rude as well- at least that’s what she told me.” You stared at each other for a few moments, your mind finally working normally again. “Phantom of the Opera.”

“What are you talking about?” He glared at you, not feeling comfortable underneath your stares. 

“Your mask. In Phantom of the Opera, his mask covered the part of him he never wanted the girl he loved to see. However,” You started, your writer’s mind thinking of a new way to start a book, a fresher way. “Brahms you don’t mind your scars do you?” Your hand slowly reached up to touch his face but was grabbed roughly by his. 

“You truly are afraid of being left alone. Not by your scars or not by the idea of never finding love. Loneliness.” Your eyes didn't break away from his until he let your wrist go. 

“You asked earlier who broke me? Gret- that woman, did. She was supposed to be mine forever, but she ran away!” Brahms hated himself for talking to you so casually, but for some reason, he felt that you understood him. 

“Brahms let’s make a deal. If I am to stay here with you, will you be my muse?” His tired eyes glanced over your frame.

“How do I know you won’t leave?” 

“I won’t. I have nothing back at home that can’t be worked it’s way over here. There’s nothing for me there.” You tensed, noticing his eyes flash in a way that made him grin. Brahms knew there was a reason you didn’t run. Your faced captivated him the moment his eyes landed on you. Maybe his parents didn’t mean Greta was his- maybe you were meant to be the one for him instead.

“Deal.” 

Learn how to be alone, without being lonely. Learn to admire beauty without finding fault. Learn to love yourself without the love of others. -h.r.d.

-Author’s note: If any of you are ever feeling upset or just want to talk, I am here for you guys. I’ve been through the darkest of my demons for now and I am finding ways to smile. Please message me if you need anything. 

[ladyamber]

Sirenade: Chapter Twenty

Good evening everyone and welcome to Sirenade once again, I know my schedule’s been really out of whack especially since I didn’t post last week. Not because I forgot, but because I really needed a mental break. I’ve been extremely busy with college applications, projects, studying and school that I sometimes barely get a break. Do know that I would love to post to a consistent time which I am working on day and night to fix, but with my life being very unpredictable it might not get fixed for a while. Though I do plan to work on more on Sirenade during Thanksgiving break. God forbid that my teacher’s decide on giving me work over my break. Anyways enough of my rambling, as always I hope you enjoy this week’s chapter and Stay Tuned! For next week’s chapter which I will most definitely see you for! BTW this chapter's going to be longer than normal since I missed two weeks enjoy!

Start: Prologue

Previous: Chapter 19

Next: 12/1/19

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 20

Soft music played throughout the Brewery’s Happy Hour time, not too loud but not too quiet either. The rhythmic drumming of his fingers danced with the polished pine counter as he awaited his company and drink. Normally his routine consisted of enjoying a brew or two with friends over the weekend, but this time it seemed different. The atmosphere was calm and casual setting up a perfect conversation accompanied by someone special and a bottle of scotch. He wasn’t a heavy drinker not since he’d moved on from a difficult loss, but he did tend to get a bit tipsy if alone. The smell of fresh food and beer flooded his senses the longer he sat at the booth. He snapped from his thoughts as a glass was set on the counter, “Sorry for the wait Tyler, hope I didn’t keep you too long.”

The small brunette slid his drink across the counter and dried his hands off with the small white towel draped over his shoulders. “It’s funny to see you here on a Wednesday night, waiting for someone special?” The younger male wiggled his eyebrows at him. Tyler chuckled, took a sip of his beverage as he rolled his eyes.

“It’s funny not to see Nogla following behind you like a horny bitch, but I’m not complaining.” Tyler snickered as his smaller friend turned red from blushing and howling in laughter obviously trying to hide it.

“Cabron, I’m not complaining I’m just curious. Who are you meeting in the middle of the week?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see Lui.” Tyler continued sipping his beer as he received a playful punch in the arm from Lui. It remained peaceful as the homemade cold brew sat in his stomach, though it didn’t stay peaceful for long. A petite figure sat next to him at the nearly empty booth, he didn’t mind but found it rather annoying that out of all the seat they choose the one right next to him.

“Evenin’ Miss, what can I getcha?” His taller bartender friend seemed to peak the interest of the small woman, but only for that sparkling interest to fall right on to him. He didn’t look directly at her although from the corner of his eye he swore he saw something else in that innocent appearance she was trying to pull off. It was gone when she turned her attention back to his Irish friend.

“A dry martini, please.” Her voice matched the look she was trying to pull, but Tyler knew better the shine in her eyes somehow made him very uncomfortable.

“Course.” Tyler decided to ignore her for the rest of the night, however it seemed fate had other plans. As Nogla prepare her attention snapped to him when he picked his glass up once again.

She smiled sweetly, “How rude of me to stare, so sorry. Where are my manners, Octavia Dimmer.”

Now he said he’d ignore her presence but being raised to always be polite took over his gut feeling. “Tyler Wine.” He gently shook her hand and exchanged smiles.

He turned his body back to Nogla who’d just  finished putting together her drink. He placed it on a coaster in front of her. “Enjoy!”

With that Nogla scurried back into the kitchen leaving the two now “acquaintances”. “So what brings a man like you to drink all alone?” She bartered her eyelashes at him. He turned his head and rolled his eyes.

“Could ask you the same thing.”

“I asked first though.” She rested her head on her hand while her fingers danced on the shiny counter like his did not too long ago.

“Waiting for someone.” He returned his attention back to the bar when Nogla came back. Smiling as he cleaned one of the many glasses that had been used hours before he entered.

“Well while we wait for this said person why don’t you and I get to know one another?” She placed her hand in his arm again attempting to flirt with him.

“No thanks.” He brushed her off when reaching for his beverage. She huffed and turned back to the bar with a pout.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a bar. I’m here just for work but it was so hard to ignore this beautiful little town.” 

I didn’t ask.

“That’s nice.” Tyler only wanted a peaceful night.

“But it’s harder to ignore someone like you. Broad, tall, strong… handsome.” This time she put her hand on top of Tyler’s.

“What don’t you-“ What interrupted his opportunity to tell this “Octavia” off was not the change in music, the argument happening in the back, and not the loud conversations around him. Through the glass windows of the restaurant stood Craig, dressed to perfection with his choice of clothing hugging every part of his body with absolute sophistication, and a face of dismay framed right where Tyler could see it. His eyes trailed down onto their hands, those soft blue eyes glossed over causing a reaction in Tyler which almost broke him right there. He sadly smiled before running away from the brewery.

Tyler sat shocked blocking out every noise that filled the atmosphere, ignoring the protests of his friend and “acquaintance” (one for not paying and the other for being denied) as he quickly followed right after Craig. Leaving behind a slightly pissed off Nogla and an innocent face eyeing its next person of choice.

~*~

It had been twenty minutes since Tyler ran after Craig. He searched high and low in their little town for him, but it seemed as if he’d disappear. Of course his mind went straight to Craig being in a dangerous situation once again. Eventually his search led him to the woods, not the most practical idea to be in the forest at night but right now Tyler gave two shits about that.

Please let him be okay, please let him be okay, please-

A melody snapped him out of his panic. A sweet song and strum danced with the nature that lived there. It seemed as if everything was enchanted by the voice. Who could blame them even Tyler was in awe by its beautiful song. He quickly followed the song which led him out of the forest and to a small bay surrounded by trees. The melody continued to play as Tyler approached entered the hidden bay. Careful not to make a sound that would interrupt the enchantment.

“Turn off your porcelain face. I can't really think right now in this place. There's too many colors. Enough to drive all of us insane,” The voice became familiar the closer Tyler got. He listened to the lyrics as well he felt as if they were speaking directly to him. The song shifted his emotions of fear into sympathy for the owner of the angelic voice. He kept listening, ”Get a load of this train wreck, his hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet. But little do we know the stars welcome him with open arms.”

The more he listened to the melody the harder it was to keep himself from falling into a trance. Soon enough the effect of the spell took over his mind, causing him to lose control over his hidden position. “Time is ...Slowly…Tracing his face. But strangely he feels at home in this-“

His heavy footsteps shuffled in the sand as he came closer to the voice, but when he gave away his position the voice stood thus snapping Tyler out of his enchantment. “Ty? What- what are you doing here?”

Tyler watched him wipe away his emotions, sniffling softly to hopes of hiding it from the taller male, “Following you.” Tyler mumbled with his head hung low.

“Well you should’ve have. You should be at the pub enjoying a drink, with a lady at your side like always. Isn’t that right?” Craig turned his face away from Tyler’s own blue eyes that shone brightly with the moonlight.

He shrugged his shoulders as he shuffled awkwardly in the sand. “If you’d let me explain myself then you’d know that wasn’t the case, plus I wanted to chase after you.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” He began to walk away from the grassy area and towards the sandy beach that contained a beautiful sight outlined by the luminescence of the night and the ocean waves in the background. Seating himself next to the frail soul he watched as his friends sapphire eyes examined him closing. He wondered if Craig saw him like he did, a wonder underneath the moon. He shuffled on the cool grainy substance trying to find a comfortable position, eventually he did. Turning at lookout into the vast body of water which seemed to stretch for eternity.

“You know, I didn’t know you had such an amazing voice.”

“You can’t compliment your way out of this one Ty… I thought this was going to be a night of just the two of us. I mean when was the last time we’ve had one?”

“I know, I know I’m sorry okay? I did want to spend tonight with you it’s just that bitch wouldn’t leave me alone. You just happened to walk in at the wrong moment. Could’ve told her off if you hadn’t interrupted me.” That word was laced with venom, however the rest of his statement remained truthful towards Craig. He sincerely felt guilt for making him express such emotions in which he never wanted to see again.

“It’s just so frustrating sometimes, you know? To have to chase after someone in order to get their attention. Only this person has the attention span of puppy.” Craig eyes only sparked for a second when he spoke, but it quickly faded as he turned his gaze back at his instrument. Playing a small tune as the breeze scattered the notes through the bay.

“They must be a fuckin’ dumb ass then… Can you play something?”

Craig hummed as he mindlessly strummed chords, “Any requests?”

Tyler shook his head as he placed his head on Craig’s shoulder, listening to him tuning the ukulele before strumming a familiar tune. “Really, Steven Universe?”

“Can you blame me? Though to be fair it’s your fault for introducing me to it.” Tyler chuckled before falling silent to the melody that flowed through his mind.

“If I could begin to be half of what you think of me. I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love. When I see the way you act, wondering when I'm coming back. I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you. Love like you. I always thought I might be bad. Now I'm sure that it's true 'cause I think you're so good. And I'm nothing like you, look at you go. I just adore you, I wish that I knew. What makes you think I'm so special. If I could begin to do, something that does right by you. I would do about anything, I would even learn how to love. When I see the way you look, shaken by how long it took. I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you. Love like you. Love me like you.”

“Sorry, it's not the greatest but-” Tyler didn’t give Craig the opportunity to finish his statement as he captured the rest of it with his lips. Grabbing every sounds and words that came from his glossy lips. Not bothered by the chilly wind that blew their head in every direction, he parted from the addicting skin to catch the look on Craig’s face. Craig’s face exploded with color, crimson spreading like wildfire, pupils dilated and red lips barely apart from one another.

“Why- Why did you do that?” His eyes widened with every passing second as Tyler remained silent to process his actions. He’d just kissed his best friend, he’d never told any he found interest in another guy, hell he didn’t even know he was into guys. He felt like an idiot for dancing around the truth for years.

“Did you hate it?” He asked with caution expecting to be rejected or hated for his sudden actions.

“Of course not. I’ve always… wanted you to do that, but I never thought you would because of Kelly. And then all those random hookups over the past years. I mean it seemed like you weren’t into guys until now. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wait, what about Kelly?” Tyler barely kept up with Craig’s rambling, but the mention of his ex-girlfriend’s name made him catch every single word.

“Well... before everything happened. She made me promise to always make sure that you were happy even if I wasn’t because you deserved it.” Tears slide down their faces falling into the sand which simply absorbed the salty liquid. “Even if I can’t help you like a human would I promised I would still try.”

“What did you say?” Tyler saw the panic swirling in his eyes.

“That I should always keep you- you happy.”

“No after that. Can’t help you like a human? What’s that supposed to mean Mini?”

“Oh would you look at the time its way past Smitty’s bedtime. If you’ll excuse me-” Before Craig had a chance to escape Tyler grabbed his waist and sat on top of his legs eliminating his chances of running off. “T-Tyler! Let me go.”

“Not until you tell me what you meant.” Fiery flashed in his dark blue eyes, staring down at the smaller male as he tried not to make eye contact with him. Of course he failed, biting his lower lip. Finally with a heavy sigh he spoke, “I’m not human. I’m a siren.”

At first, Tyler didn’t know how he should have reacted. In his mind he felt that he would’ve screamed and hit the creature he’d always been told to be afraid of, but seeing that the so called monstrous creatures that killed people at sea was his best friend. He didn’t panic as much as he thought he would’ve. Although he still panic, “ Are you going to eat me?”

Giggles turned into loud laughter that ricocheted throughout the forest, slowly dying down as Craig seized his cackling, “What, no. Well only if I’m desperate, but you’re safe for now.”

His eyes widened expressing his slight panic, “I’m kidding we don’t eat people. Those stories are all rubbish, only meant to sympathies with man and belittle our kind.”

“Can I see it?” 

“See what? Oh, you mean… why don’t I show you the wonders of our world instead of just me.” Craig stood up and walked towards a tree, laying down his instrument, taking off his shirt and folding it neatly next to his ukulele. Next thing Tyler knew Craig began to run towards the sea, causing sand to be thrown back with his steps. Jumping into the water, he watched an outline of orange wander the rocks one by one until it came to a brief stop at one. Craig emerged from the water a moment later holding a teal plant in one hand and extending his other. “The water’s a bit cold but you’ll get used to it.”

Tyler hesitated for a moment still unsure about how he should process the information he’d discovered about one of his closest friends. How many more were there? How many of his friends were sirens?

“Ty. It’s okay, I promise I won’t let you go. Or eat you.” He chuckled as he approached the ocean. It played with his feet trying to pull him in closer to its bottomless wonder. Eventually, he walked to where Craig could no longer stand and floated instead. He placed the small plant into his hand and looked up at him with soft blue eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Tyler nodded, examining the plant as he brought them to his mouth, tasting the contrast between the saltiness of the environment but the sweetness of the plant itself. Craig smiled at him, grabbing his hand and submerging them into the cold abyss that hid beauties the world might never see. At first, the water burned his nostrils and eyes when he took his first breath, but slowly the plant took effect and helped his body adjust to the new habitat. Fish and life in the ocean was like he’d never seen before. It all looked so much more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen. What really took his breath away was Craig’s new form, a shiny orange tail replaced his “normal” pale legs, scales littered his skin and his fingers contained webbing in between. It was almost like a dream, but he knew this was real when Craig swam up to him and guided their lips together. Tasting and feeling the heat that cooled with the surrounding water, his scales brightened and flared as Tyler explored every inch of Mini’s mouth. Pulling away to admire one another and to see the audience they had created, fish came out of hiding to see the human and siren explore their world. Hands intertwined with one another.

~*~

Hours passed since Tyler and Craig had entered the water. The effects of the plant wearing off at the last few minutes of their adventure, oh the fun they had felt satisfying as they enjoyed the presence of each other back on the bay. Tyler had never felt so relaxed in his life, for once someone was taking care of him and he couldn’t complain this was the best day of his life. He laid his head on Craig’s lap as those delicate fingers danced and stroked his hair. “Hey, Tyler.”

He hummed as a response letting Craig know his exhaustion, “Thank you for today. I love you.”

He lazily opened his eyes and looked up at the smaller male, Craig pecked his lips soothing him to return to his daze. He closed his eyes once again, smiling as a tune lulled him into a deep slumber, feeling content and happy a feeling he had longed for.

“I guess I’ll have to face, that in this awful place, I shouldn’t show a trace of doubt. But pulled against the grain. I feel a little pain, that I would rather do without. I’d rather be free, free, free… I’d rather be free, free, free. Free, free, free… From here.”

Credits to the creators of the songs. This is Home by Cavetown, Love like you and Escapism by Rebecca Sugar.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Book: A blackish red hue

I am offering a printed book version of my story “A blackish red hue“, rewritten and corrected, illustrated and properly set. I did this mostly for myself but some have said they wanted a copy so … 

>>> GET YOUR COPY OVER ON ETSY! 😊

340 pages of Hannigram fanfiction, the Murder Husbands on the run, depicting their lives together after the fall.

An A4, hardcover book with 135 g paper, 47 illustrations and a foreword by my “partner in crime“ (over at @lovecrimebooks) Romina Nikolić.

This book has been made to match RADIANCE and, in extension, the upcoming RAVAGE. Yep, with COLOR CUT*. In blackish red.

Weighing: ~1,6kg

> Which means we are just below the threshold of the so called “book shipping“ weight (with packaging), making international shipping much cheaper. >> 17€, priority handling and tracked in most countries.

All tracked countries here: deutschepost.de/brief-international/land-fuer-land

>> Germany: 5€, internationally 17€ + (priority-which is with) tracking ~ 20€

*****

Content:

A Murder Husbands story, heavy on character development and (hopefully) story, spiced with sex (see rating below).

Not overly fluffy but with a happy ending. (Yep, despite what you might think in between.)

Murder Husbands as in Murder Husbands. With Murder Tableaus. And family. Murder Wives :)

This starts at the motel in TwotL, so there is original dialogue here, reinterpreting the scenes we were given. The story segues into pure fiction after the fall.

>> This story spans several years - it follows Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter after „The Fall“, the ups and downs of this obsessive and difficult relationship, trying to fit the monsters on their backs together. As well as their habits and appetites.

There are lots of turns and not everything is as it may seem at first.

This is my Season 4.

And 5 through 8.

Approximately. :)

This story has been posted and is available on Ao3. It has been, as mentioned before, corrected, some parts rewritten, polished up and properly set, enhanced and improved for this book :)

There are almost 50 artworks in it. Some were gifted to me, some I commissioned and some I created.

Illustrations in it by:

@JustCallMeLuci | Sara Larner saralarner.com | @dark-will-graham​ | @tindu​ | @amngell​ | @transylvanianshipper​ | @noaryr​ | @arkarti​ | @theseavoices​ | @Hachiseiko | @felidaefatigue​ | @hanniwill​ / / Rola | @basementarts​ | @Rocio_ruiz_art | @the-walking-fannibal​ | @bayobayo​ | @thenecronon​ | @wisesnail​ | @vibiana​ | @Moishpain / @sheep-in-clouds​ | @stravvbunnies | @miasmatik​ | @maddsaa | @toni-of-the-trees​ | @le-wendigogo​ | @Skeletology | @shoegazerx​ | @Aerinnnn | @ivyart​ | @mumbrielle​ | @granpappy-winchester​ | @caniday​

(and some by me)

The beautiful cover was created by @granpappy-winchester (original post here!) and @basementarts. 

>> Commission @Granpappy-Winchester here!!

>> Commission @basementarts​ here!!

Btw: I can only recommend commissioning them or any of the other artists! 

Also: Basementarts is offering a discount right now so check them out!

*****

What some critics… erm commenters said:

On Baptism: „OH GOD!

i was just scowling tru Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter fic and saw your fic Salvation and read the summary and thought ‘well this looks good’ and i saw it was a part of a series and thought i might as well start at the beginning to see if its any good!!! i couldn’t even begin to fantom how brilliant and talented you are!!! im only just finished this first one! and i want more more more! and there is more!!! yay me!!! im just going to go and binge read it all!!! no sleep or socializing for me!!!!

thanks for shearing your talent and choosing to express it with Hanagram fics! i truly appreciated it, like im sure many many others do!!!“

Also on Baptism: 

„Ahhhh, this is completely stunning!! So beautifully and elegantly done, it drew me in from the first chapter and refused to let go until the last. Just wonderful. Thank you so much for this gorgeous reading experience.

*Applauds*

Please don’t ever stop writing Nalyra :-)“

On Obfuscation: 

„I’ve just binge-read this whole story. I absolutely loved it!! The balance of power between them is beautifully portrayed. I really enjoy the tenderness between them, and also the pure darkness. It feels like a completely natural progression from the show. I can’t wait to move on to the next installment!“

*****

Characters:

Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, Alana Bloom, Margot Verger, Verger Baby (Hannibal), Freddie Lounds, Jack Crawford, Chiyoh, Will Graham‘s Father, Clarice Starling, Robertas Lecter, Bedelia Du Maurier, Ardelia Mapp, Matthew Brown, Original Graham-Lecter Children

*****

(some) Tags:

Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb | Canon-Typical Violence | Canon Compliant to Canon up until 2018 | Post-Canon to Canon up until 2018 | Original Character(s) | Original Character Death(s) | Explicit Language | Explicit Sexual | First Time | First Kiss | Murder Husbands | Murder Wives | Rough Sex | Angst | Fluff | Blood play | Dream Sex | Branding | Fanart | Honeymoon | Cannibalism | SotL-compliant | Canon Character Death

*****

Rating:

Mature, scratching on explicit, but toned down from Ao3 version. A bit.

*****

Excerpt:

From Baptism:

It takes an indistinct amount of time to get ‘back down to earth‘ as it were. Will is vaguely aware that there is a cramp in his legs, the fingers of his right hand hurt where Hannibal has gripped him too tightly, he is a mess, he hurts between his legs in places he cannot yet define properly and Hannibal - Hannibal is lying on top of him, making it hard to breathe, silently crying into Will’s neck. Will feels the best he can remember.

He carefully dislodges his left arm from Hannibal’s neck, dragging his fingers through the greying hair, petting. His legs drop and he winces, which seems to bring Hannibal back to himself. He raises his head, eyes bloodshot, his voice gravelly. “Will, I… I apologize.“

Will shakes his head slowly and places the fingers of his left hand against Hannibal’s lips. His gaze catches on the ring that Molly placed there and he realizes with a start that it has no place here in this bed. He feels more than sees Hannibal withdraw and quickly shakes his head again trying to placate and communicate his thoughts as clear as possible. “Take it off for me.“

Hannibal freezes above him. The look he levels at him does its best to make Will hard again but he really isn’t that young anymore. Will swallows. Hannibal slowly drags his right hand up at the side of Will‘s body, making him shiver. When he reaches his chest he follows his arm up until he reaches the hand that’s still raised between them. Slowly, very slowly Hannibal starts to push the ring off Will’s finger with his messy hand, never breaking his gaze. Hannibal encloses it in his hand when it’s off and carefully puts it on the nightstand at the other side of the bed. “What about it now?“

Hannibal’s voice is rough and Will knows that the answer he has isn’t what the question was about, but it is the only one he has to give. He tries to say it lightly, keeping his voice low. “Well, you took it from me. So, if we make this work, you’ll have to go and replace it.“

Something breaks in Hannibal’s gaze. There is light and darkness seeping into it in equal measure and it thrills Will to no end to see it. Hannibal’s voice is the roughest he has ever heard it, the accent strong. “I will not let you go, now.“

Will smiles. To everyone else, this would have been a threat. To Will, it’s the conclusion of a courtship that’s lasted six years. He’s been caught, and now he’s free. “Where do we go from here?“

Hannibal nuzzles into the Will’s neck, his words breathed onto sweaty skin. “How about we pay a visit to an old friend?“

*****

Final notes:

>> I don’t make money from this - the price on Etsy consists of the following amounts:

A4 hardcover print with color cut, heavy paper and bookend pages etc: 41€

Packaging: 2€

Etsy fees: 2€

+ Shipping

*IF this book sells 50 copies (in total**) I will be able to get some nice extras (ribbon bookmark, spot glosses at the very least).

** I’m going to order some for myself and a few artists, who preferred the book over monetary payment

Printing will commence after August 10th, 2018, with shipping following right after. Printed at same company that has printed Radiance and will print Ravage.

Books will be in foil and wrapped in bubble wrap and then in the actual packaging for shipment (aka lessons from Radiance. I’ll also check the weather forecast -.-).

IF there is something left when all is said and done I will donate it. Resumé will be posted here.

After August 10th 2018 I will close preorder.

This will be the only edition.

If there are some copies I need to get to reach the minimum to the next „step“ (with more extras) these will become available on Etsy afterwards.

There will NOT be a digital version for sale because I only negotiated with the artists for a printed version.

Soooo.... 🤗

Hope you like!!! 💕

[lilgurlwithcomplicatedfeels]

Emotions

Do you ever feel like... Things are so great but theres this one part of your life you wish you could change so that you could be more confident in yourself? Fair warning: If you're my sister this might hurt you. So read at your own risk. I do. Its like this small splinter that I just can't block out anymore. When I was younger, I had none of my mother's attention. I was basically an outcast in my own family. There was even a time where my own sister called me a "mistake" which my mother quickly rejected the thought. Getting upset at my sister who said it. But Deep inside I was hurt, because I even thought of that. But I couldn't tell my mom that at the time. I was so quiet, I never asked for money to go to sports events. Even though I wanted to. I always did most of the chores, and sometimes ended up staying home alone. Because my sister... Well she had depression and she was trying to recover. Me on the other hand, I was the completely stable kid. Only slight behavioral issues. Some lying and some defiance, but in the end I was still a good kid. I usually confided in my mom's fiancee, who I considered my dad. I trusted him and he made good out of that trust. Teaching me about life and such. I felt like I belonged, but it was still hurting. I wanted my mom back in my life, but it was always about my big sister... I get my sister has issues, but now I'm scared to even do anything. On my sister's graduation, I decided to tell my sister what sort of dress I wanted to wear. It was the cutest thing, and I loved it. I felt excited! I was going to be feminine for once! nope. My sister convinces me to be matching with her, and we get one pieces. Along with sunflower bracelets. I'm standing there accepting it, looking in the mirror. I looked good, but I was hurt. My heart was hurting because I voiced it. I said what I wanted to wear, but I couldn't push back to say. HEY! I wanna do this! Now I'm just a confused gal trying to making past the next marker and survive. Yeah, I don't have depression. But I have anxiety in a different form. I don't have panic attacks, I just randomly start biting my nails or I start to pick my face. If theres a pimple, I pop it. I try to stop myself, and recently I've been able to avoid overall my face. My nails however... Theres been alot of people telling me to get a nail polish for it, but thats not the solution I want. I want to feel like I dont need to bite my nails, I want to feel comfortable. But I'm still nervous. My sister's left the house, but there are times where I'm scared that my mother. Who I have an amazing relationship with now, will leave me again. Then run off and push her own body to satisfy my sister's wants. Again, I said "Wants". Everything's been about what my sister wants. She doesn't want to do anything. I have to do everything. Chores are too much for her, I have to do them all. There was even a point in time where I was in my room, peacefully resting. Suddenly my dad bursts into the door, telling me the floors flooded with water. I yell back that my sister had done the dishes today(for once). She had forgotten to turn the water off afterwards. After that incident, I usually did the dishes. I had to make sure I get them done in the mornings before I went to school too. And to do that I woke up at 5-6 am. Got ready, all dressed and packed up. Then I went onto the bus at 7-7:30. I was a tired kid, but I managed to get pretty good grades in all my classes. But for some reason, my sister didn't get very good grades. Which confused me, what was she spending all her time on? Oh. Friends. That's what. So I was mostly on my own since I never felt like I belonged in a certain group. So I just... Walked away, Idk why im saying all this in a tumblr post. Maybe its because I secretly want my sister to see how bad I was hurt. How badly I was affected... I have a part of me that blames her for alot of things. Small little splinters that slowly sunk in. My discomfort for the color yellowish-green. (it was a nice shirt too... Ended up giving it

to her.) My concern over money. (She'd always end up going everywhere and I got concerned if my mom could afford it, so I just didn't go.) My fear of being hurt by people. (She'd say things like this person has a bad aura, when in reality this person just looked suspicious.) The fact that I don't have much hobbies since me and her had similar interests. (I always felt like I was her shadow, and when I started to get into things, she just went like "Oh... ok bye!") The sheer lack of attention I got. She was always hogging my mom's attention. Leaving me all alone and I barely knew anything about my mom. At one point my dad told me to go get a gift for my mom. I didn't know what to get. I was crying so hard because this wasn't my fault. After that, my dad apologized to me. Same with my mom, they both apologized. Then alot of crazy stuff happened including her moving out. (the moving out part I want to keep seperate.) I learned about my mom, about everything she likes. She saw how little she knew about me as well, and pretty soon she felt guilt as well. How could she tell me to get her something, when she knew nothing about me. For my 12th birthday I asked for rollerskates. We went to ripleys aquarium, and I was throughly enjoying myself. We saw the shrimp and the jellyfish. All the creatures in the sea was so fun to see... But then.... On my birthday- My sister suddenly says that she's anxious. (too many people around for her). Of course, I'm considerate but sometimes I wish I just put my foot down and said **"No! I wanna stay longer!"** But of course, I was the good kid. So hey! Yeah, I felt all this. So a part of me hates you, but I still care about you. You're my sister, but did you ever really... Love me? Thats my question for you. Instead of crying, I want you to really think. Whenever you gave me something, was it really something that made me happy? Or was it something that made only you happy? Because the more I think of the past, the more I remember the times when I fake smiled. Following in your footsteps because you were always talking about your own issues when in reality you should've only spoken to a therapist like I did. When shit got rough in school, I saw a therapist. I talked about my issues, there were even times when I just asked if I could have a nap or eat some lunch. It was the best place to just unwind. -AH! another thing that confused the fuck outta me. A really fricking nice teacher spent lots of money on you, gave you a place to hang out at during lunchtime. Was supportive even outside of school. Then suddenly you say "No I didn't like them.." **WHAT? THEY HELPED SO MUCH AND YOU SAY THAT?? IM SO CONFUSED?** I loved that teacher btw, they were very supportive and always set up academic bowl and were really supportive. There was this one time I got sick on a trip, then when I finally got home. I got much better. But that teacher kept checking on me, and making sure I had some food into me as I shivered from my illness. That teacher was the best, and they were always really huggy and comfortable. They are a taurus so it makes sense they had this motherly feel around them. Anyways- thats my piece for today. I just really needed to let this out.

[did-you-even-make-a-sound]

Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.

Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)

requested : yep prompt: n/a pairing : connor murphy x reader warnings : suicide plan mention additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.

You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.   

dark-aesthetic🔃connor-fvckng-mvrphy 

I have to get this off my chest before I straighten every crooked object offensive clutter distraction OCD nervous as fuck I’ll pull out every hair or tear my fingers off If I don’t figure out how to look in your eyes without screaming

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I can’t remember anything before you I can’t imagine anything without you I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I’m cool We should just kill ourselves

‘Interesting,' You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’

This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.

At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.

According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read. 

He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.

Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month. 

And then it all comes crashing down.

One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago. 

connor-fvcking-mvrphy 

this is not going to be a great week or year or life or anything inbetween i thought for a millisecond that i had found a friend a kindred spirit but you fucking tore it up

fuck you, E.H. your friend too go ahead and laugh laugh all you want but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?

goodbye

You’re worried.

This poem…was not like the others.

This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.

#suicide plan #goodbye

Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically

you hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out please please don’t kill yourself I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry

You wait, terrified, for a response.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three,

four,

five.

There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.

After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im flattered I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…

You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply. 

you OH thank god I thought that you had… Are you okay?? thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im fine actually…i feel much better. thanks for, you know. caring.

you Anytime! I’m [y/n] btw

connor-fvckng-mvrphy connor

you i know thats creepy oh my god;sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill

you :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy so this might sound weird but ???? you’re…pretty cool. i just looked over your account and wanted to know well you know want to talk more???

you wow im??? Really???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,

you id love to !!!!

You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy do you think, like… well ever get to meet each other?? imean you’re a really great friend now and??? id like to meet you.

you i wish but we live like eight hours away from each other…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy ill drive to you!

you calm down, connor…lmao we don’t want you burning out on the way

connor-fvckng-mvrphy :( I don’t even know what you look like…

you i don’t know what you look like either! XD

connor-fvckng-mvrphy shit well if I send you a picture of me will you do the same?

you sure ig

connor-fvckng-mvrphyme.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,

you WHOA YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE

connor-fvckng-mvrphy id prefer handsome but I’ll take it your turn, missy.

you hnnghhh okaybewarnedIlooklikeapotato.jpg

connor-fvckng-mvrphy … holy shit

you bad???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE??? WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-

you no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy no way you’re fucking adorable i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker

 connor-fvckng-mvrphy we should swap phone numbers

you and skype??

connor-fvckng-mvrphy fuck yeah

you oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX

you saved and I just texted you too :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy 'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis? dude you’re just,,, thats really fucking cute

you wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend

you best friend?? awww connor!!!

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah yeah you’re literally all I have, [y/n]

you you’re my best friend too!! i really wish i could meet you…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy  me too…hold on a sec

you connor??? you okay???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer. i fucking hate her sometimes

you do you?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy …no but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.

you *internet hug*

connor-fvckng-mvrphy Fuck…that’s cute.

 As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.

And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?

…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.

You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.

“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.

“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.

“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.

“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.

“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.

Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.

To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.

You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired. 

“I should go soon.” He says drowsily. 

“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”

“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”

You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.

A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.

you i love you too!!!!

[ayz8yf9q-blog]

Looking for cheap car insurance,small car,mature driver? any recommendations?

Looking for cheap car insurance,small car,mature driver? any recommendations?

Looking for cheap car insurance,small car,mature driver? any recommendations?

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[taharai]

Steps to Film Financing Movie Deal Come To Fruition

Every independent filmmaker I have ever met has started out with a script, that is, after the idea, the book, or short story has been running through their heads for months, sometimes years. But after premiering the movie and it’s short-lived film fest tour, the indie movie is usually shelved. That’s what everybody thinks happened to my movie, Spyderwoman now Hybrid, the series and what has happened to most Indies.  But in my case, my movie is not finished, I’m adding a scene in the far future and making it into a series.  Transformation is part of the beauty of writing. However, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake.  Next time, I’m just going to do it the right way.

What makes a film get a movie deal?

Make sure the story is attractive, that you have an attached actor with at least a B rate attached to the movie, you’ve checked the SAG Producer’s agreement for your budget, and you have a letter of intent from a distributor.  Don’t forget to create a business and marketing plan, that includes business reports, analytics reports, budget, and promotion strategy.  All of it is part of a good pitch. That one summary and logline that just kills it.

Spend some time sharpening your presentation skills and start looking for venture capitalists, angel investors, film funding venture capitalists advisors, and strategize your capital raising campaign.  If your efforts fail, make improvements on your package and try again.  Make a different package.

Step 1. The film screenplay, or script, is the intellectual property where it all begins. Make sure it shines.

Indie scripts usually are not well formatted by industry standards even using Final Draft software; it may lack strict visualization in the action lines, too much irrelevant description, not enough succinctness, telling instead of showing, passive voice, longer than 4 lines of dialogue in some cases, and what is worse, it may lack a good setup. That’s to be expected of indies who haven’t got the practice or the CW/FILM MFA.  We indies realize Hollywood doesn’t always follow the guidelines. But with superb editing and special effects,  “do it in post” is becoming the norm. So why should indies have to follow the rules?

Hollywood may produce movies with two pages of monologue, plot holes, sexist ethnic stereotyping, (all kinds of stereotyping), rehash the same storyline a million different ways (Cinderella)  and still manga to sell millions of tickets at the Box Office.

The Indies World is Revolutionizing

The time has come for Indies. The world is paying attention to new and exciting topics of interest. People can relate to different ways of looking at things, people, and places can appreciate less stereotyping, and more inclusiveness in “film.”  Enough of us can appreciate different cultures to make a difference in the lives of indie filmmakers.

Recently, we’ve seen how new age and more diverse movies have made it to the top as in the case of Moonlight, the film that caused an uproar at the Academy Awards when it garnered the Oscar for best feature of the year in 2017.   Here’s my advice when it comes to polishing a script and making it into a tool for attracting funding from venture capitalists:

Follow screenplay writing guidelines and rules unless there is a compelling reason not to.

If audiences paid attention to every big budget or Blockbuster movie plot instead of being hypnotized by the sound and images, they would often see all the above-mentioned sins of scriptwriting as taught by Screenwriting schools in the US. I’ve only attended two and have a total screenplay writing MFA for film, but that has only made me open my eyes to “Story.”

Even when Hollywood does put out bad movie plots, oversimplistic, or senseless.  I bet at least four out of ten times, the story plot will be good enough, and sometimes even superb and subtle. There’s talent too in high places, not just after effects, tech skills and lots of marketing $$$.

What makes a good film?

“Story” is what really defines a good film, at least in my opinion.  I can’t stand vapid shootings, fist fights, explosions, or car chases that lack real gumption.  However, the face of a highly paid actor like Robert Deniro in one such scene will make us look twice and give some credibility to the splurge of high-level special effects spent to attract the action/adventure male audience between 25 and 45.

If we look into the plot, we’ll realize it’s just another mafia movie that stereotypes everyone.  But people are hypnotized by it and don’t care to make any sense of it.

On the other hand, a poorly formatted script can be polished to become a phenomenal script when the story has grit.  Not that indies shouldn’t have to learn the skill of standard formatting, but if the story is sound, the script can be polished to have a perfect setup, an inciting incident, and follow a plot arc along with the key characters’ arc that will take the viewer straight to the summit after three turning points before closing with a golden brooch. “Story” makes the difference. Whether it’s a comedy, romance, sci-fi, or all three at once.

An Indie Destiny

What is sad to watch is that after making a tremendous sacrifice of time, money and even family,  after the premiere we start wondering who is going to purchase the film and where it can be shown.  We start searching for ways to get a return on our investment (ROI), create a buzz, or raise the money to promote.

For many filmmakers, the end of the movie comes right after the film festival is over, even if you got first prize.  Unless it’s Sundance, (my favorite because Paul Newman is my childhood favorite actor) or the Berlin Film Festival, to name just a few of the top ten film fests in the world, your film won’t land a movie deal. Why? It’s not because it’s no good.  It’s because you didn’t follow the right steps.

Step 2. THE FILM BUSINESS PLAN

The Breakdown of a Script

Every indie learns to “breakdown” a film screenplay on their own.  Breaking down a script is all about organizing like things, a skill learned in kindergarten.  Of course, if you get fancy and use highlighters it’s even better. You can assign categories for each one of the scripts elements and when you think about what to do with it a bit you will figure out that getting things done by location saves time and effort and money.

Of course, there are expensive software programs like Entertainment Partner’s Movie Magic Budgeting & Scheduling.  If you learn to use these tools, your presentation will look much better.

The guerilla filmmaking way is to start calling all your friends and have them donate some of the things you need.  Get your team together and come up with locations that won’t cost you any money.  Call the locations, vendors, equipment rental places, go shopping for wardrobe, invest in makeup and applicators.  Get a first aid kit, tons of cases of water, and make sure you label everything with your production company’s name.

Figure the number of days and hours shot at each location, the cost per location and voilà, you have a budget.  If you want to take advantage of tax incentives keep all your receipts and present them to the State to get your rebate.

The budget shown to venture capital investors, angel investors, banks, and philanthropists needs to be based on comparisons between similar films.

The Film Marketing Plan

Target a specific audience on social media, TV, Radio, send out press releases, run ad campaigns, use Search Engine Marketing to keep the film in the public’s eye tied to keywords, actors, and storyline.

What’s the distribution plan? VOD? Theatrical? National and international marketing and distribution.

How will you maximize exposure and sell more movie tickets? Include marketing film merchandise such as action figure toys, video games, fashion lines, artwork, and soundtracks.

What organizations, national and international will your film be aligned with, environmentalist, religious, new age, liberal, LGBT community, or conservative, or liberal?

Step 3. SHOW YOUR TEAMWORK SKILLS

Who are your team members?

Include bios, pictures, reels, trailers, portfolios, and interviews.

Include actors and public figures that support the movie.

STEP 4. The EXECUTIVE SUMMARY – Frist Impressions Count

A film’s executive summary is an overview of all the film’s creative and business endeavors. It’s actually the first document presented to investors.  If they don’t like it, if you are not convincing enough, if the overall plan doesn’t make business sense, if it doesn’t prove its return on investment capabilities, and is not persuasive, no one will read the rest of the plan.

Pitching includes the logline, plot summary, and the business overview.  Especially crafted, the front page says it all in a nutshell. Use your words carefully, be enthusiastic, give value, solve a problem.

Success is not the work of chance alone, it’s being prepared when chance calls and turning the light green. Don’t just shoot blanks out in the dark. Target your capital investor by type and history. Have a plan, start following these steps and let’s talk about distribution next time. Stay tuned.  BTW, I’m looking for a cinematographer, director and editor to come onboard. Students and hobbyists are welcome.  To apply,  just join my email list or message me on social media. I’m Angela Terga pretty much everywhere.

Thanks for reading.

      Take the Mystery Out of the Film Financing Landscape Steps to Film Financing Movie Deal Come To Fruition Every independent filmmaker I have ever met has started out with a script, that is, after the idea, the book, or short story has been running through their heads for months, sometimes years.