#btw if anyone is wondering why this isnt on ao3

[toaster-hair]

"There's a Human In The Neighborhood!" (i apologize in advance) chapter 1

it isnt easy being a human in an all puppet town, especially when they’re all oh so curious about your anatomy!

warning: this fic is kind of gross. not nsfw but talks about bodily functions. some slight wally x reader but not really. reader is gender neutral but afab

i only wrote this bc i knew no one else would xP

(edit: this was originally posted on wattpad btw! i would post this on ao3 but uhh im like 3 years too young to have an account on that site)

If there was a word that could describe you the best, it was simple. You wanted to live in a simple neighborhood, date a simple person, and have a simple life. Which is why you were so willing to move when you saw an ad in the newspaper showing off a cute safe little neighborhood. You loved your parents but they were awful for your mental health, and after a small incident where you accidentally broke into someone’s house while drunk, you were desperate to leave. 

After many days of packing, and many days of promising your parents you would call them, you were revving up your car and driving to your new life. You brought one of your cats with you, your mom begging you as the poor kitty would be sooo sad without you. As you drove, you felt the food you ate that morning process in your stomach. You would have to check the bathroom out first things first. 

Once you arrived at the neighborhood you quickly found the new house you bought. It was pretty small, which made sense considering the price. The odd thing was how much it lacked color. Everything else in the neighborhood was bright and colorful, but yours was a pure white. You guessed you would have to paint it yourself. You hired some people help you carry stuff in, you would have a loonngg day unpacking everything. After everyone left, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom. You didn’t get to see any pictures of the inside of the house, so you had to look around for the bathroom, and every other room. And then, you finally found it.

And there was no toilet.

It wasn’t that you mistook another room for the bathroom no, there was a small bathtub and a sink, but no toilet. 

Just then, you heard a knock at your door. You decided the anomaly could wait, maybe this was some weird town where everyone used a porta-potty. You quickly made your way to the front door, wondering who it could be. You hadn’t met anyone yet. As the door swung open, you were quite confused. You didn’t see anyone! Then, you heard a monotone voice. 

“I’m down here, silly.” you looked down and saw a very short, very odd looking stranger. He had yellow skin, no, is that skin? A perfect blue spiral pompadour, and no nose. He looked straight out of the muppets! “My, you’re an odd looking one. Tall, as well.” It was true, you were pretty tall compared to most, standing around 6’2. But how were you the odd looking one? “I’m Wally Darling, charmed I’m sure. What is your name, neighbor?” 

You tilted your head to the side and told him your name. Just as you were about to ask why you didn’t have a toilet, your sweet little kitty walked by and rubbed your leg. Wally went down and gave the cat many pets. “Say, Y/N. Would you like to have a walk around town?”

“Sure.” It was only a small walk, you were sure you could get back in time and figure out why there was a lack of toilet space. Wally showed you everything Home had to offer. Which wasn’t much, but that was fine for you. He showed you Howdy’s place and the post office, and even introduced you to your new neighbors! They were all very.. Lovely. But you could tell something was off. None of these guys were human, were they? But if they’re not human, then what were they? Then, you felt it drop to your bottom. Where the hell was the bathroom?! 

“This is Home, your other neighbor! I live in Home, Home is a very nice neighbor, aren’t you Home?” Wally asks the house. Home responded with a delighted creak.

“Wally, this is great and all, but I did have a question, well, a couple actually.” You said. Wally turned his head back to you, awaiting your questions he’d be oh so happy to answer. “Uhm, Wally, do you think you know why my house doesn’t have a toilet?” You asked. He kind of just. Stared at you. 

“What’s a toilet?” He asked. You were shocked.

“You know, the thing you poop in?” 

“Poop? Is that some human thing? You’re the first human neighbor we’ve ever had. Us puppets don’t know what “poop” is.” 

You were even more shocked. “What were your other questions?” He asked.

“Well, you kind of just answered them already.” You answered.

“Hey Y/N, seriously, what is poop?”

You groaned. You really didn’t want to explain what poop was to a grown man, no, grown puppet. “Well, when a person eats, anything that can’t be used as energy is converted into waste, and you have to poop it out. In the toilet.” you explained to him.

“Ohh, how do you poop it out?”

You explained to him how humans pooped. Even though he didn’t seem to know anything about human anatomy, he did at least know that what you were talking about grossed him out. “Ohh.. well, I’m not sure how to help you neighbor. No one here owns a toilet. Howdy might have some at his place, but it’s getting late. Do you want me to walk you to your house?”

You quietly agreed, but you didn’t really need to. Everything was pretty close together, with Wally’s house… erm.. Home being smack-dab in the center. 

For now, you decided to use a bucket. You’d be calling to have a proper toilet installed the next day. After that, you took a bath, made you and your cat some dinner, and called it a day. Unpacking could wait for tomorrow. You just hope the bucket wouldn’t stink up the place too bad. You would have to learn how to live in this weird puppet world.

[suncchaser]

some time ago i fell down the rabbit hole of booktok and it fried my brain and put me into a bad metal space for a few days ngl, then recently i got back into the marauders fandom and something similar happened. now going down the rabbit hole of booktok again and reading into it more at a different angle, i'm starting to recognize similarities and realize why the marauders fandom has made me feel, not bad but almost unwell when engaging with most of the fandom that isn't a few fanartists. the focus on tropes and ships is the main similarity and reducing these characters abd their story/stories into just tropes individually + as couples/ships (eg; wolfstar = tall smart bad boy x dumb short boy. regulus = basically a tsundere. james = sunshine. jegulus = grumpy x sunshine. etc.). and i feel that as most of the new fandom joins because of ao3 fics specifically jegulus fics recently, those tropes are what they joined for now the books anymore. now the fics are basically the foundation of their love so they see the characters as these tropes and the ships are what they focus on and they lack basic knowledge of these characters and in turn just like the characterization in that fic or au. causing a lack of care for the canon characterizations. this isnt a bashing btw just pointing out the similarities between these two communities.

This is probably quite a pretentious take and I am admitting to it straight up but I find it strange that some people are willing to go on AO3 and reading gigantic fanfics on Harry Potter’s dad and his godfather’s brother without having any care for the source material and pre-existing love for any of the characters rather than picking up an actual book. There are wonderful, beautifully written queer literature out there if a queer story is what they are looking for.

I will never understand reading fanfiction when you aren’t a fan and that being your introduction to the fandom. It’s like reading Larry fanfiction without caring for Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson or One Direction. I would genuinely love to have a conversation with anyone who entered the fandom like that so I could try to make sense of it because I haven’t. Because my experience with the fandom previously were that everyone were originally Harry Potter fans, who simply developed a greater interest in the Marauders Era. Now, the Marauders are no longer a sub fandom but a completely separate thing.

[josecariohca]

hi again! hope you're in good health! your answer to the pirate au gave me life, if you ever wanna share more/info-dump about it I'll be happy to take a seat and listen. Since we have similar brain worms about them and it seems you've been on the spamano block even longer than I have I was wondering if you have any fic recs for them? (side note do you have an ao3?) or just any type of rec for spamano at all?

hi again!!! you must have the patience of a saint for waiting so long, but yes hello i am here and i have been DYING to answer your ask and once again i stuck it under a read more bc what is concise wording??? idk her shes not here we only ramble here! warnings for excessive over-explanation and the obsessive thoughts of someone who has been in this stupid fandom for way, way too long.

i also wanted to address the super sweet notes you wrote on your original ask that had me smiling like an absolute fool, btw!!!! so first off: THANK YOU AND IM SO GLAD YOU AGREE!!!!! listen, the canon dynamic between these two has always given me a very severe case of brain rot, and the ways in which that dynamic can be removed from canon and smacked into any au is just soooooo juicy. and while yes i do adore airhead spain with all my heart, i do see it as very reductive to his character and who he actually is. and this also kinda bleeds into answering this ask, so yay! two birds one stone!

my entire thing with these two is the fact that spain is, at his core, an empire. god, gold, glory. that was his whole thing, ruthlessly so. and while yes i do believe the nations dont personify their governments and instead represent the best of their people, it would be foolish to ignore what it means for spain (and antonio) to be the spanish empire, bloody, greedy, damned, troubled, all of it. and that bleeds a lot into how i imagine antonio to be!

antonio (and spain) will always carry a lot of guilt to me. he acts sweet and bubble and sunshiny, and i do think he genuinely is that way naturally, but a lot of it is also an attempt to distance himself from what he used to be, either from guilt, from wanting others to forget, or for whatever reason. who he is in current day is not who he was, but its still there and it is something he grapples with constantly. so, in the vein of my pirate au, antonio as a pirate is someone who is angry.

hes angry at the world, hes angry at his government, hes angry at the state of life for anyone who isnt wealthy and born into generational status, hes angry at the favoritism, at the restrictions, at everything. hes someone who wants freedom. spain as a character doesnt like to be restrained, hated his forced job of folding flowers, hated he couldnt do more when he was once so powerful (to the point where america even said anytime spain was near him hed try and hit him with his knees, so clearly he knows how to hold a grudge) and antonio would feel a lot of resentment to the state of the world as it exists around him but unable to change it—until he can

and lovino, who is angry but for so many other reasons. lovino, who is born into a gilded cage that he cant even touch, lovino, whose entire life was built around his younger (legitimate) brother who will one day inherit everything his grandfather passes on that lovino cannot have, even if they do love him, even if they do cherish him and give him an education and steady work and a comfortable life. but thats not enough, and why would it be? his name is worthless in this society. he barely exists outside of his small family, and whenever he's there, there is always the elephant in the room of none of this is mine, none of this will ever be mine. so yes hes angry, hes resentful, but hes also stuck. where can he go, realistically, when this is all hes ever known? and he loves his family. hes loyal, hes caring, he adores his family. he just also resents them because they are everything he can never be. (and i do throw seborga into the brothers. they are a trio to me and they always will be!)

so when they meet, when antonio sees this little angry brat with so much pent up aggression start barking insults at him in front of his own crew, how can he not be fascinated by that? and he sees someone wearing a shiny family crest of a prominent venetian family, and its so easy to him. take him, maybe teach him some respect, dump him in italy, get some money, and fuck off to the ocean again for the next prize.

and it would work if they both werent so fucking stupid at the same time. bc just like romano and spain, these two are two sides of the same dumb ass spectrum. angry and hopeful with different styles of attachment that fit just perfectly enough to make it feel clandestine. two people who could just so happen to understand where the other is coming from, with enough understanding to get it. and suddenly theyre not so different after all, are they, considering they both got screwed over in life, forced into roles they didnt want until someone gave them an out, until they give each other an out.

and then it becomes a lot less about stealing from the world and keeping it for themselves as it is giving each other the world, wealth and riches that belong to them and them alone, an open ear and willing hands and the understanding that antonio would rip the stars from the sky and temper raging oceans for lovino if he asked, hoping only for lovino to love him in return and choose to stay, to seek freedom and something different.

its entirely selfish and dangerous and doomed to fail from the start, which we as people in 2024 know, but its romantic in its desperation and honest in how actual real life pirates were furious with their lives and were entirely fucked over after the war of spanish succession, and while yes most of those pirates were english (and arthur is a big player in this story too, obvi), spain did have its fair share, esp in retaliation to what the english were doing to spanish treasure ships.

WOW that was a lot im so sorry for how long that is. i hope it is in some way understandable and not just rambling jibberish fghjkjh as for fic recs!!! babe how much time to do you bc i have like. thousands. ill start with my favorite few though, and maybe youll find something you like in them!

some are long, some are short, some are not as much romantic as they are doomed and haunted, and some are nauseatingly sweet, but its a range of stuff. let me know what you like and im sure i can tailor these more to your tastes!

in no particular order, some of my all time favs:

those who loved us all along by aalesundbren

the problem with being known by baybetime

the bocca della verità duology by nyoengland

ravish by ludwiggle73 (spamano isnt the main pair, its second to fruk, but its a good fic nonetheless)

underneath the gilded lights by kai_maciel (spamano is a very small part of this, its mainly centered around latam and portugal, but the parts they do have are cute and i love how spain is characterized. it has a second part with a few other spamano bits, if youre interested)

anything that champagnesly has ever written about spamano. one of my all time favorite authors, even if they havent been in the fandom in a very long time. their wine verse is a personal fav and i read it when i was younger and i still go back to read it now. same for oblivion, the blue hours, and tbh anything else spamano theyve ever written

we are all businessmen by soliloquium

tesoro mio by (they orphaned the fic, i do know who the author is but since its orphaned idk if they want me to say their name???? either way, great fic!)

more than attraction by whitetyger12

and finally, anything mareepysheepy has ever written for spamano, with a particular shout out to give and take

okay, thats all ill do for now. i have so many fic recs that ive accumulated over the years for this pairing, but hopefully you find something somewhere in this mess that you end up enjoying. sorry again for the wait and i hope this made up for it!!!!

you are a delight to my day and THANK YOU for allowing me to ramble endlessly about my stupid pirates

[shebeafancyflapjack]

King Takes Knight (Part 4)

Promises were broken. 

(TW: torture and captivity)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

He hates to pull away from Tahani’s embrace, from the softness of her luxurious hair against his cheek. Her lip wobbles as she attempts to smile at him, holding back the smallest of tears pricking her eyes. She can’t bring herself to say anymore parting words, enough air trapped in her throat with worry, so Michael just gives her cheek a brief stroke with his thumb.

“We’ll be back before you know it. All of us.” He tells her, which may be turn out to be another lie. He hopes not.

She nods and moves aside to hug Jason. He turns to see Eleanor standing in front of him. He tenses, not really sure he can handle more talk about how badly he screwed up, right when he’s about to go riding into actual Hell.

“I’m gonna give you one job, okay. Even you should be able to handle that much.” She tells him.

He nods; “Bring back Janet. You don’t need to tell me-.”

“No, that’s Jason’s. Your job is to keep that brave doofus safe...and to make sure you all come back in one piece. I mean it,” She prods her index finger against his chest; “I don’t wanna see a single cut on that skin-suit or you’re on dinner duty for a month.”

“I’m always the one who gets dinner.”

“Yeah but...without magic or Janet.”

He shrugs; “Oh, I’ve been meaning to learn to cook!”

“Look, I haven’t had time to think of a suitable threat! So just say ‘Yes, Boss’ and know that I’m gonna be pissed if any of you get hurt down there, got it?” She raises her voice, the hint of uncertainty rearing its head.

Michael gets it now. He stands up straight; “Yes, Boss.”

He tries to reach his arms out to her, only for her to take a step back. His chest aches, hard. Still a little mad then. She doesn’t look it but...

“No hugs. Hugs are for goodbye and this isn’t gonna be that. There! That’s my threat! Come back safe or no hug!”

It’s a pretty lame threat but he pretends to look horrified, all the same. 

“Yes, Boss.”

-

Wafts of steam float from his nostrils and the tiny slit in his lips. Everything around him is dark blue, sheets of ice coating every surface. There’s only the dimmest of lighting above, they don’t leave him in complete darkness. It’s enough for him to see how alone he is. It’s enough for him to never want to have to look at snow or ice again in his existance.

It’s enough to hallucinate, to fill the empty stage with figments of his tormented and bored psyche. 

“I gave you one job.” She tells him, stood a metre away.

The first time, he had yanked against his chains, wordlessly begged for salvation. For freedom. He’d been foolish enough to believe it was finally over.

It’s started happening enough now for him to be aware what’s happening.

But there’s still that slight, crushing realism that makes her words as hurtful as ever.

“You couldn’t do the one thing I asked of you? It was bad enough you lumbered me with this job that was supposed to be yours before you chickened out, now you leave me to handle it on my own!” Eleanor snarls at him; “You should have been able to fight them off and escape but look at you...Pathetic, Mikey. You always were. A useless demon and a failed wannabe angel.”

He closes his eyes and bows his head, body jittering against the chill and the bluntness of her words.

It’s not real. She’s not real. She’s not here. She’s safe.

Even if she probably would be saying these things if she were here...It doesn’t matter. It’s not her.

“Maybe Shawn is right. Maybe this is where you’re supposed to be. You betrayed your own kind and then you betrayed us by lying. You’re nothing but a dirty, cowardly traitor. I hope you rot here.”

He’s torn between tearing up and laughing at the almost cliche insults his own mind is creating to throw at him. They’re becoming beyond a joke. He knows full well what he is. The only reason his not-brain is creating these illusions are something to fill the time between Shawn’s torture games.

It’s either that or sit and suffer the cold. He struggles to imagine what being warm...what being held felt like.

Her face hovers before him as if she were kneeling down to find his eyes.

“You don’t have to worry about me, bud. Once this is over, Chidi will wake up and I’ll have the person back at my side who I trust...Who I love. Who’s never let me down like you did.” She sneers, resentment in her grey-green eyes piercing into him; “...Don’t flatter yourself by thinking I’ll be missing you.”

When the side door opens, he almost weeps with relief, as it casts away the ghost for a moment. Whatever horrors they have planned for him is preferable to...that.

A shoe moves forward and pressed down on one of the nails in his foot. He yelps, the wounds still feeling raw after all this time...

Fork. He doesn’t want to know how long it’s been.

“I thought you might want to hear some...interesting news, Mike.” Shawn leans to hiss in his ear; “I just got word that someone has lifted the blockade brought down by your Good Janet. Now...I think there’s enough of your teeny mind left in there to work out who might have done that....”

He starts to shake harder, eyes widening.

Shawn’s fingers pinch the back of his neck.

“Looks like our little video bait worked a treat. And now your pretty slave-robot is on her way to try and save you...And she’s gonna be walking right into our trap. We better get it ready, don’t you think?”

Michael tries to open his mouth against the bindings to speak, blocking out the pain of the metal tearing his mouth. He’ll beg. He’ll threaten. He’ll do whatever it takes to-

Something large whacks him over the head and he falls on his side.

“Oh, I’m afraid you won’t be here when she arrives. She’ll be coming here for you, no doubt, but you’re going somewhere were no one apart from myself is ever going to find you again.”

No, no, Janet, please! Don’t come! Stay away!

There’s a snap. Something goes over his head and everything is black.

[funkily]

see r ships like jausage and scwhip and exterra rlly like rarepairs . bc then the esmp fandom only has like 3 Normal Pairs

[flyingwithwaxwings]

I feel like people don't often think/notice how much fanfiction/fandom content/romance/writing content is all geared at women or otherwise feminine people. Like this isn't a complaint or some "men are oppressed" bullshit, this is just my observation about how little content there is speaking towards the male audience of fandoms and writing. Even a lot of gn!reader fic I read still subconsciously reads female reader to me, like the reader always being smaller then the S/O, adjectives like "beautiful/gorgeous/etc," long hair, etc etc. I just see so much content 24/7 that assumes I'm a woman and I don't really have much of a comment on this tbh, I just find it interesting to observe. Especially in BL/mlm shipping scenarios where it's assumed I (as the reader/viewer) am a woman. {I won't get into all that right now} It's like even in situations where I am trying to view relatable content I'm still viewing from a different lens. I think it's important for me to experience this and find this as my own call to provide the content I want to see, especially on this site, but it's still unique to me and I wonder do others notice. Am I the only one? Why aren't there more male fanfic writers? (Or are there male fanfic writers that we just don't see as much of or, like myself, we feel pressured to make more gn!reader content to appeal to a perceived predominantly female audience?)

[franeridart]

WHOA BLACK CLOVER HAS AN ANIME NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH IT

Well, only the first episode for now but yeah!!! I can’t wait for my favs to show up aaahhhhhh!!!!!! 

Anon said:Omg, Kirishima, please teach me how to put on eyeliner, your eyeliner game is on point! (Seriously, tho, I love how you draw their eyes and how you draw Kiri in general. He seems so soft. Damn, Bakugou, I'm jealous that you can cuddle him)

THANK YOU!!!! And Kiri has really really pretty lashes in the manga too, doesn’t he? Bakugou too! They have seriously pretty eyes I spend a lot of time trying to get that right when drawing haha still not as good at Horikoshi tho after all, but what can we do~

Anon said:Every time I get a notification you posted something I get extremely happy! That's what your drawings did to me. How can one be so talented.

SOB thank you so much!! You being happy makes me happy so it’s happiness all around!!! What a good!!!

Anon said:Heey!! So I've been wondering... if Aizawa used his quirk on Hagakure would she become visible?? (Btw love your art)

Oh my what a question, I was actually talking about this not too long ago with a friend! And the conclusion ended up being that if her invisibility is a permanent mutation he can’t, but if she can turn it off at will then probably he can too! Right now we still don’t know how exactly Tooru’s quirk tho, so we can’t be sure which is the truth! (I like to think she can turn visible if she wants, but that’s just an headcanon with very little basis haha)

Anon said:Your erasermic art has blessed me 4ever thank u

NAH thank you for liking it and letting me know, man!!!

Anon said:I DIDNT KNOW YOU SHIP ERASERMIC OH MY GOD but seriously you're one of my favourite artists and the fact you like pretty much all the same things as I do is so amazing to me and it makes me so happy because I know that you may draw more of it in the future and I'll get to see more beautiful art if that makes sense lmao thanks for creating stuff 👌👌

Hahahaha yeah it’s one of my top ships in the fandom! Also the only one I read fics for aside from krbk I love them A LOT (and it’s all thanks to my sister who directed my attention towards them a long time ago now, thank you sis) so yeah I’ll definitely draw more of them in the future!!!! And thank you so much for liking my stuff!!!!!

Anon said:Hi! I just want to say I love your headcanon of Aizawa becoming a mentor/role model to Bakugou! Thank you for introducing me to that idea!

YOU’RE MOST WELCOME I’m just a huge huge huge fan of the Aizawa&Bakugou interactions and how much Aizawa cares for him and how much Bakugou respects and trusts him in return, so!!! I’m mostly just pushing on that canon stuff hahaha

Anon said:HORY SHEET BOYO THAT ERASERMIC SHIT IS GOOD SHIT

THANK YOU FRIEND!!!

Anon said:i came to love erasermic thru kiribaku tbh. like i saw erasermic fic in the kiribaku tag on ao3 and i read it for the bg kiribaku (kirishima was such a good boi in that fic ngl) and i was like hey erasermic isnt bad. then i saw your art of them comparing them and i was like hey this is good shit 😁👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌 keep it up pal

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll t r y !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O

Anon said:Do you think Kyoka and Katsuki could get along? Over their like for punkrock maybe, and their gayness. Kinda like Todoroki and Momo's talks about their tiny crushes.

WHY YES ANON I think they could be the bestest of pals, I’ve actually drawn them together now and again cause I like the idea of them being friends so much - a list of some of the things Bakugou and Jirou do together:

make fun of Kaminari (Kaminari feels attacked and liked it better when Jirou was convinced she didn’t like Bakugou)

share music recs and go to concerts together (when it’s big ones they particularly care for they stand in line The Whole Day and at first it used to be sorta awkward but now being together makes the hours fly)

mutter sass and snark under their breaths to themselves in class and without meaning make the other snort or have to hide an actual laugh (they sit next to each other in class did you know that that’s my fav thing tbh)

say “god, I’m so fucking gay” and answer “mood” whenever Kirishima and Momo, like, exist or do anything equally outrageous

sit next to each other with their phones in hand in silence and at the same time look up with an intense/bored/obviously-judging-sero-come-on-look-at-them expression whenever anyone walks past them (they’re actually playing bullshit app games)

play bullshit app games in co-op or having each other as friends to earn more rewards cause they have a No-Judging policy going on between them that makes sharing this sort of otherwise embarrassing stuff with each other okay

Anon said:Hi!!! I love your art and I just wanted to ask....what band were you referring to when you said Mic named him after the band "eraserhead"? Could you possibly be talking about the filipino band "Eraserheads"?

Yeah!!!!! Tho I’m sorry to let you down anon, but I haven’t actually ever heard much from them (justttt one song two days ago cause I got curious) - I found out about them while looking up the movie!

Anon said:I love how you draw mic with his hair in a bun. It's super cute

THANK YOU!!!! But I can’t really take the merit for that, since that’s how he actually wears his hair (more or less) when he doesn’t gel it up for his hero costume!

Anon said:What is your favorite kiribaku au? :D

Oh boy, I sort of love everything and anything I’ve ever seen/read tbh, I’m a HUGE AU lover!! At the moment to anything with the fantasy AU (and dragon!Kiri is always a super welcome plus) is gonna make me go :O !!!!!!!! hahaha so maybe that, who knows! It’s for sure the one I think about the most!

Anon said:Hellooooo i love your art so much? Especially the bakushimas oh my god (also do you plan on drawing more soul eater *coughs*-deathstar-*coughs* in the future?) Have a good day!!

THANK YOU! And I dunno, maybe! If inspiration strikes, why not!

Anon said:hey guess what i just did... went through your ENTIRE art tag (all the way back to the knb and one piece), i found it really cool to see how your art has developed and see what your fav ship is at a certain time (and how you always come back to bokuroo)

Ah man thank you for spending all that time on my blog hahaha I wouldn’t say I always go back to bokuro though? It’s more like... whenever the manga brings the bokuros back I’m ready to start hyping all over them again hahaha my bokuro periods always happened while they were doing things in the manga, after all~

Anon said:u said u couldnt draw iida, lie of the century. i lvoe u

AHHHHH I’m glad you liked him!!!! I spent lotsa time on him in the past month or so trying to get a grasp on him, so I’m really seriously happy it seems to have paid off!! to quote Todoroki

Anon said:where’s ur faq i’m on mobile

SORRY maybe you already noticed but I added the link in the description! 

Anon said:have you ever thought about if eri-chan can... erase her own quirk?? and would how they might handle it

Actually that’s the first thing I thought when Mirio got his own erased... well, it still depends on what exactly Eri’s quirk does? We sorta assumed she had the same quirk as Chisaki, but they aren’t actually related so who knows? I sure hope she can fix the damage done on Mirio, tho!

Anon said:I ADORE YOUR ART SO MUCH OH GOD HAVE A NICE DAY FRAN

OH MY GOD THANK YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY TOO!!!

Anon said:Usjeiwiwj oh man, i love cats, my cat relates to urs big time ajsjehej

Cats are such a mess and I love them with all of my heart to be honest hahaha

Anon said:Do u have any, idk idea about traitor!Kaminari? I just imagine how would others react? I think it's hella sad, and still Denki never wanted this, something just go wrong in his life and it's breakin my heart... ARGH, sorry for interrupt you with something like that...

It’s okay, don’t worry about that haha but I can’t say I find the theory possible in the least, so I haven’t really spent time thinking about it at all? I mean, I can imagine it would be full of angst and regrets and a lot of tears and anger mostly from his close friends, but since I just can’t believe this theory I can’t say I have anything specific I can give you on this orz sorry!

Anon said:Who's get jealous and possessive between bakugou and kirishima?

Actually I dunno man, are they possessive and jealous? I feel like they both would like it when the other told them stuff like “I’m yours” or “you’re mine”, but being there complete and utter trust between them they wouldn’t actually be jealous or act in a possessive way... does that make sense? At most I think they’d be insecure in the beginning of their relationship, but once they managed to make it clear that yes, you’re the one I want, no one else, just you then they would have little to no problems in that sense haha

Anon said:So many people seem to misunderstand bakugou and I just really like how you portray him. Good characterization and good art! 💖✨

SOB THANK YOU !!!!! this means the universe to me oh g o d s!!!!

Anon said:Wait!! This isn't your main blog? Omg how did I not know this. What is your main blog (if you're willing to let people from this blog follow it haha)?

AHHHH yeah I have a main one this one is just for my doods!!! the main is @franeridan, if you wanna follow it! I’m mostly just crying over bakugou and kirishima and complaining a whole damn lot about... everything, tho hahaha

Anon said:I'm not the anon but u know the concept that kiri n Baku would meet when they were younger and when Baku was more... violent? (i know that's not the right word, I'm not a native speaker sorry!) Like I think kiri could actually make Baku less of a bully? Considering how much positive impact he had on his personality AFTER it already developed (like idk if this ask makes sense? What do u think?) ◇ (btw putting smth like ◇ was a genious idea ty, idk if u remember that ask tho?)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!!!!! Actually I’ve been thinking about this A LOT in the past couple of days and my conclusion ended up being that the key would be either for Kirishima to know Bakugou since they were really young OR for him to not attend Bakugou’s same middle school? Like, if they developed their personalities together, having someone like Kirishima around since they were kids could have made Bakugou develop differently, but if we go with the “they met in middle school” scenario then I think Kirishima would have had the same sort of...soothing? Effect on Bakugou only if Bakugou didn’t see him as a threat to his dream of being the only kid from that middle school to enter UA. Well, a scenario in which they had known each other since they were small young babies and Bakugou reached middle school going “the only one from this middle school to enter UA is gonna be me and Eijirou”, that would have been hella cute wouldn’t it hahaha growing up with a notion of us instead of just me would have changed Bakugou a lot, I’m pretty sure :D

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 7: Literary Device Kingdoms

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: roooooooose TG: rose TG: rose TG: are you there

TT: Yes, Dave, I am here. TT: And it seems like you have adapted John’s penchant for using eight letters at a time for emphasis on various words.

TG: what really TG: goddamn it

TT: Yes, this appears to be a despicable habit that we must rid you of.

TG: please do TG: i dont want a total of eight letters exactly all the time to haunt me for the rest of my life TG: but that isnt what i came here to talk about

TT: Did you perhaps pester me to inform me of your previous conversation with Karkat?

TG: hell yeah i did

TT: I only assumed because that is what you were bugging me about previously.

TG: that is a pretty good assumption to make TG: anyway the conversation i had with karkat was really nice TG: hes a lot shoutier over text than voice TG: he types in all caps like holy shit TG: so angry TG: does some long ass metaphors TG: im still the best at them but karkat may be shooting for my place on the throne TG: make a note to watch out for that

TT: It has been noted.

TG: thank you for that rose TG: best goddamned advisor i ever had TG: i trust you completely TG: wow i sound like one of those kings that trust their shitty and evil advisor without a single thought that their advisor could potentially want to overthrow them TG: are you going to take over my kingdom rose

TT: I have no interest in ruling the Kingdom of Metaphors. TT: I am perfectly happy here in my “Palace of Prose.”

TG: thank fucking god TG: i dont think i could handle a rebellion TG: shits dangerous you know TG: do each of us get a literary device kingdom TG: if i have the kingdom of metaphors and you get the palace of prose TG: which is an awesome name btw TG: like is john the king of hyperbole TG: or jade the queen of personification TG: do they get kingdoms TG: are they opposing kingdoms TG: or are they all good friends and shit TG: does every single literary device get a kingdom or is only major ones TG: these are important questions here rose

TT: I’m not sure if John would be suited to the role of ruling over the hyperbole commonwealth. TT: I’m certain he would need to have some sort of training first. TT: He would need to become the heir to the kingdom. TT: Or he should rule over some other literary device.

TG: that makes me wonder what literary device he would rule over TG: hold up let me pull up a list TG: holy shit there are a lot of literary devices TG: i dont know what half this stuff is TG: shit ton of different types of irony TG: what the fuck is a zeugma

TT: A zeugma is a literary device that is both literal and metaphorical. TT: For example, “they covered themselves in dust and glory.”

TG: thats actually pretty cool

TT: Quite.

TG: what were we even talking about before all this literary device nonsense.

TT: I believe you were talking about the conversation you shared with Karkat.

TG: oh yeah TG: but yeah hes super long winded and his metaphors are actual works of art TG: he was actually the guy who wrote the top quality hate mail i received

TT: Really?

TG: yeah really isnt that fucking fantastic TG: you wouldnt have expected it if you were just talking to him in real life TG: but over messaging holy shit TG: absolutely glorious TG: he should really do something with that talent TG: write a fucking novel or some shit

TT: I would never have expected Karkat to be so…

TG: angry TG: long winded TG: creative with his words

TT: Yes. TT: He always seems so nice and professional. TT: Then again, I’ve only ever seen him at work, so I suppose I don’t exactly have the most accurate idea of what his personality is actually like.

TG: you also just spend your time flirting with kanaya

TT: The flirting is consensual.

TG: what are you two dating now

TT: Yes, actually.

TG: holy shit TG: did you go on a date TG: is that why you couldnt respond to my message TG: i need a brief overview of what happened stat

TT: Nothing much, really. TT: All we did was go out to lunch and walk around the park for a little while. TT: It was nice.

TG: that sounds like a fantastic date TG: very casual like a first date should be

TT: Agreed.

TG: anyway how are you doing TG: done anything interesting lately TG: something other than writing your book TG: which one are you on anyway TG: like the fifth or something or other TG: you just have a large fucking amount of books that you have written TG: and you go into these modes where you dont talk to anyone unless its the cashier at the grocery store

TT: I require food to survive, Dave. TT: But, yes, I have done something interesting lately. TT: Instead of writing a book, I opted for reading something.

TG: what really TG: what are you reading TG: actually i dont think i want to know TG: knowing you its probably something weird with a shit ton of monsters and stuff TG: not really something im interested in

TT: It's actually a novel that Kanaya recommended to me. TT: It's very interesting.

TG: well i guess if its not about monsters eating each other or a huge ass monster talking above a whisper that murders everyone its fine TG: lay it on me

TT: It's actually a series of books. TT: I'm only on the first one so far, but it holds a certain amount of charm to it.

TG: well youre going to have to do more than just tell me that the book has a certain kind of charm TG: you might want to actually tell me about the book

TT: Well, it's about a young girl who is being sent to finishing school by her family in order to become a lady. TT: However, the finishing school she is being sent to is not a normal finishing school. TT: It teaches a finishing of a different kind. TT: That is to say, it teaches young ladies to assassinate people as well as gather information.

TG: holy shit TG: that was not the direction i was expecting that to go

TT: I would recommend the book series to you. TT: You often like stories with a steampunk theme to them, and Kanaya stated that Etiquette and Espionage is a must read book for all those who love the steampunk genre.

TG: i do have to say TG: i am a little bit interested in reading the book TG: i might just go to the bookstore and buy it

TT: I knew you would be curious about it.

TG: yeah well im interested because you said there was a steampunk theme to it TG: but why were you interested in it TG: you typically go for the lovecraftian horror stories TG: god those are so fucking creepy TG: i have no earthly clue why you enjoy reading them so much TG: i personally cant stand reading those TG: ignore my tangent and answer my question instead

TT: I don't know, Dave. TT: Your tangents are awfully fun to analyze.

TG: goddamn it rose TG: youre an author not a fucking therapist TG: regardless of what your chumhandle says TG: anyway i know kanaya recommended it to you but what actually made you interested in the book

TT: I have always had a certain interest in fashion and such, particularly Victorian fashion. TT: I also enjoy the humor in the novel. TT: It is very deadpan, and it is enjoyable to read that someone wants to murder their first husband in a casual tone. TT: Don't worry though, Dave. TT: The only murder that occurs is in the last book, and the deaths are of minor characters. TT: Kanaya assured me this was such. TT: However, she did mention that there were some graphic descriptions of violence, particularly in the ending part of the last book. TT: If you don't feel comfortable with that, you don't have to read the novels.

TG: nah TG: i think i should be more or less ok TG: if i feel like i cant handle reading some part of it i can always go to you or kanaya to find out what actually happened in that part TG: but of course you read it because of people possibly murdering their future husbands TG: do you know why kanaya really liked the series

TT: Apparently, she has an interest in vampires and rainbow drinkers. TT: So there is a supernatural aspect to the book.

TG: so are there werewolves and shit as well

TT: Yes, there are.

TG: sweet TG: i probably need to get out of the house anyway TG: it will give me an excuse to stretch my legs and such

TT: Do you really require an excuse to do that?

TG: yes

TT: Well, don’t let me stop you.

TG: alright TG: ill be taking my leave

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacletherapist [TT] --

Now, before you leave to go to the bookstore, you needed to do one more thing.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: i have a very important question for you

EB: lay it on me.

TG: what literary device kingdom would you rule

EB: that’s a really weird question, dave. EB: i think you might have to elaborate a little.

TG: so rose and i were talking TG: and we decided that I was the king of metaphors TG: we later decided that she was the queen of prose TG: which of course begged the question TG: what the fuck would you be

EB: i don’t think i want to rule an imaginary literary device kingdom! EB: it seems like a lot of responsibility.

TG: of course its a lot of goddamned responsibility TG: youre ruling a kingdom here TG: a hypothetical kingdom sure TG: but a kingdom nonetheless TG: youve got to take care of all the little people residing in your kingdom TG: but youre basically supposed to chose the literary device that you utilize the most often

EB: i can’t recall using many literary devices! EB: i think i would probably end up being the subject of one of the kingdoms.

TG: thats fair

EB: what about jade? EB: have you asked her?

TG: no but she probably rules over personification or something like that TG: you were more of a mystery

EB: i guess i’m just going to have to think about it.

TG: ill just be waiting over here for you answer TG: because this lack of information is clearly what is keeping me up at night TG: well i wont be actually waiting TG: that would just be creepy as fuck TG: ill just occasionally check pesterchum to see if you have come up with an answer yet TG: be sure to pester me when you do alright

EB: i’ll be sure to do that, dave.

TG: thanks bro TG: anyway im going to the bookstore to get a book rose recommended TG: for once it was not about horrorterrers TG: see ya later john

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Your curiosity had yet to be sated. You were still curious as to what literary device kingdom John would rule. This was of course purely hypothetical, but it was still something very important that you needed to know as soon as possible.

Anyway, you decided that now would be a good time as any to make your way to the bookstore. Since it was literally right down the street, you didn't actually bother going into your car and driving there. That would be pointless and stupid because then you would have to find a parking space and pay for parking and that was entirely too much work to go get a book from a bookstore that was so close to your house.

When you got to the bookstore, you started out be looking around to see if you could find the book anywhere. It occurs to you that Rose never actually told you who the author was. She only told you the name of the book, which was fine, but it would have been very helpful to actually obtain the name of the person who wrote it as well.

You also didn't know all that much about the book save for a few basic things.And like hell are you actually going to ask someone for assistance to find the book. However, Rose did give you the title of the book, which is occasionally good enough.

As you wandered through the store, you ended up being surprised at a familiar face.

Oh god. It was Karkat. And yeah, the two of you talked pretty casually over Pesterchum and Trollian respectively, but you don't really think you could handle an actual interaction with him in person again. It was too soon, and you hadn't exactly had the time to recover from the previous in person interaction you had with him.

Oh no. He just saw you.

"Oh. Dave." Karkat greeted. "This is certainly a surprise."

"Oh, yeah, hi. I mean, hello. Yo? Actually, nevermind. I guess I really did mean hi. So, hi there Karkat. How have you been doing? The store treating you well? Asshole customers not keeping you up at night are they? And, wow, you are still cute. And I'm still rambling on like I'm not able to breathe if I don't talk. Not that I can't breathe if I don't talk, but with the amount of shit coming out of my mouth, I really wouldn't be surprised at this point.Sorry, I'm not very good at talking to people in real life."

"You're not very good at talking to them over text. Whatever delusion you created to make yourself think that you are anything less than a huge fucking dork is completely and utterly false, and at this point in time, you really just should accept that you aren't that good at the social aspect of life." Karkat said.

"Karkat, I'm hurt. You of all people should know how cool of a person I am."

Karkat looked around bewildered for a moment.

"A cool person? I don't see anyone like that. All I see is some dork who wears shades indoors to look cool."

"Harsh, but I do actually wear the shades inside for a legitimate reason. My eyes are super sensitive to light, so if I ever took them off, I'm pretty sure I would go blind."

"They seem like that would be extraordinarily uncomfortable to wear while sleeping. I hope to whatever god you believe in that you don't go blind if you remove them in total darkness."

"Yeah, it's fine if I take them off when there is a low amount of light, but I don't like taking them off that often. Not only do they look super cool and protect me from the evil sunlight, they were a gift from my best bro."

"So, sunlight is evil now?" Karkat asked.

"What? No. Sunlight isn't evil now. It has always been evil. It's just been watching over us like the fucking malevolent god it is."

"I don't think the sun can be considered a god. First of all, there are stars that are way bigger than our sun and a whole lot hotter as well. Second of all, the sun is probably going to die in a couple billion years, so we have that to look forward to."

"I can't wait until the evil that the sun is gets defeated."

"Well, it's not going to be in our short ass lifetimes. I can assure you of that."

"Damn it. And here I was, looking forward to the destruction of the sun."

"Well, I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. Unless someone makes a video or a video game where the sun blows up. I don't know." Karkat furrowed his brows. "Maybe then you can live out the fantasy of the sun blowing up? I mean, it would be better than nothing, right?"

"Fair enough. Anyway, what are you getting here at the bookstore?" You questioned.

"Well, I was trying to find a new book to read, but I can't really find anything that I haven't read yet that is in the genre I enjoy."

"You're looking for a romance book, right? Terezi said you liked romcoms and cheesy stuff like that, which is honestly kind of adorable, and please just forget I said that last part. It didn't exist. It was never said. Anyway, you clearly must read a lot to not be able to find something that you haven't read."

"I don't know what I should respond to in that sentence. It all sounded like a huge pile of feces that just won't stop coming out. Except the pile of feces is coming out of your mouth instead of your asshole."

"Maybe you should answer the part where I commented on the amount of reading you do because that is super impressive, and it isn't a creepy compliment like suddenly telling you that you are cute is." You explained.

"Ignoring the fact that you called me cute on multiple occasions, I thank you for your acknowledgment of my prowess in reading a various amount of novels."

"You're welcome. Anyway, if you are having trouble finding something to read, you could always try out a different genre, I guess. I mean, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of action books and stuff that you haven't had the pleasure of reading yet."

"I do still prefer romance novels." Karkat said. "What kind of books do you like to read? Or, I guess, more specifically, what book are you planning on getting here? Or are you just browsing?"

"Rose recommended a book series to me, but I am having a bit of trouble finding it. The first book is called Etiquette and Espionage. Have you heard of it?"

Karkat scoffed.

"Of course I've heard of it! I hear about every book with rainbow drinkers that my moirail can get her hands on! However, it was an amazing series with a properly done romance."

"There's romance in it?"

Karkat looked at you in silence for a few moments before taking a deep breath.

"Yes and a very well done romance at that. Scratch that. There are multiple romances throughout the books. Of course, you have the obligatory red romance triangle that the protagonist ends up getting herself in, but it was obvious from the beginning who she would end up with, speaking as one of her redrom interests she was, at the most, black for, even if there was a bit of red/black vacillating. However, the romantic interests are intriguing due to the sheer difference in blood color. You see, the main character is an olive blood and the two who are trying to court her are a rust blood and a seadweller respectively. Which, of course, puts her in the position of trying to choose between one far above and far below her station in society. She was already testing that, being an olive blood going to a highblood school. In addition, her redrom interests are black as hell for each other, often fighting, and it's done so subtly, and that particular romance was very interesting to read about, even if it was kind of a minor romance in the book. In addition to the redrom interests, she actually gets a moirail, and that romance is adorable as hell, and it is honestly so sweet. She also gets a blackrom interest that she never actually acts on due to that interest being someone she considers an actual enemy."

Karkat looked at you in astonishment for a moment.

"Wow. That was probably one of the first times someone has let me go on for that long about romance without telling me to shut the fuck up."

"Why the hell would I tell you to shut up?" You ask. "You're clearly passionate about it, so I see no reason to shoot down that enthusiasm."

"I, uh. Wow." Karkat just kind of stared at you, and you were beginning to start feeling pretty awkward.

So, of course, you did the only thing you could really actually do.

"Yeah, it would be really shitty of me to just fucking tell you to shut up about something you clearly enjoy talking about. Anyway, it is always super nice just to hear people talk about something they love, and it's just kind of sad when people are sorry for enjoying those sorts of things when really it shouldn't be embarrassing at all. If it's something you love, you should embrace it. It's kind of dumb that people just shoot you down like that, bro. Especially since it was really nice to see you light up like that, and oh my god, please just shut me up."

Karkat started laughing. This was the second time you had gone on a long-winded spiel that he laughed at. It was honestly pretty adorable.

"I guess you're right. Hey, you're having trouble finding Etiquette and Espionage, right? Maybe I could help you find it." Karkat suggested.

"That would be fucking fantastic. Please, show me the way to the elusive novel."

"Right this way."

You followed Karkat to an area you must have looked through ten thousand times, and he just pulled a book off the shelf and handed it to you.

"There you go."

"Holy shit. The cover is pink. Pink is such a nice color, you know? It's all happy and nice and shit, and I really should consider getting some pink into my wardrobe now that I think about it. What do you think, Karkat? Would pink fit my complexion well enough?"

"Probably. You wear red well enough, so you should be able to pull off pink really well."

"Really? Well, maybe you could go out with me to help me pick something out. Usually, I would go with my sister, but she's not very good at picking things out that I actually like, and she doesn't typically like the things that I pick out. Also, it's kind of difficult to shop for yourself, you know? Who knows? Maybe I could help you pick out something new as well. It's always nice to find things that you wouldn't usually pick out for yourself, but then you find out you really enjoy it, you know?"

"That's an odd request, but I don't really see why not."

"So you don't mind helping me out with finding a fun outfit?"

"Not at all. It would probably be fun, especially if we are helping out one another."

"Great. You can bring a friend if you want. You know, if you're uncomfortable with hanging out with me for alone for an extended period of time. It's perfectly fine." You said.

"I think I'll actually take you up on that offer. I have a friend who has been pestering me about getting a new outfit for a potential date he's going to have, and it would be fantastic if I had some extra help.He's a complete mess, and I don't know if he can tell his shoes from his cape."

"Clearly he's a fashion disaster, and we're going to have to fix it. However, I'm warning you now, I am also a fashion disaster."

Karkat looked you up and down, and your throat felt dry.

"I think I can deal with you. You're not nearly as much of a fashion disaster as you may think you are."

"Thanks for the confidence booster. Anyway, when and where do you want to meet for the shopping spree? Unless you want to go over the details over Pesterchum."

"We're already here and planning it. Might as well do it now. I'm free this Saturday. So, maybe we could meet up at noon at some restaurant for lunch and then go to the mall to shop for clothes."

"That sounds fucking fantastic. What restaurant though?"

"I could probably find some place nearby the mall to go to that isn't complete fucking shit. I'll have to ask my friend to see if he's good with that time. He probably will be though. He is almost always free. But, on the off chance that he is not, I can always message you over Trollian, but I’ll have to do that anyway to tell you the exact location and time to meet up.”

"It sounds like a plan." You stated. "Anyway, I'm going to pay for this book, and I'm hopefully going to read it at some point in time instead of just allowing it to rest upon my shelf for the rest of eternity. Mark my works. It will be read."

"Good luck with that." Karkat laughed. "But seriously, I do hope you manage to finish it. It will give us something to talk about on the outing."

"I thought we were going to talk about what kind of clothes we want to try out."

"That's actually a pretty good idea. Just let me jot that down." Karkat pretended to write something down on an imaginary notepad. "There we go. If you have any other ideas, be sure to submit them to my website so that I can fully analyze the shit out of them."

"Will do." You suddenly remembered something very important. "Also, I just remembered I need to ask you what literary device kingdom you would rule."

Karkat looked at you like you had just eaten a lemon whole, rind and all.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"An important one. Come on, please answer it. I don't actually have all day, like some may believe."

"Dave, we just spend a good half hour to an hour standing here and talking to each other."

"Shit, really? Never would have guessed that much time had passed. I still would like an answer though."

"I'll think about it. I'll even message you so you can sate your burning curiosity as soon as I figure it out."

"I'll hold you to that." You said, and you finger-gunned at him. "Anyway, I should be off and actually buying this book and possibly reading it at some point in the hopefully near future."

"You do that." Karkat said.

You left kind of awkwardly. And by that, you meant you totally left in the coolest way possible. Yes. Definitely. Didn't even trip or anything. Okay. So maybe you stumbled a bit, but it's whatever, right? You were still kind of cool, and your dignity was definitely left intact.

You go up to the counter and buy your book and then make your way home. You check Pesterchum to see if John has given you an answer yet. None. Absolutely none. What blasphemy. Well, you can always pester someone else about it.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade i have a very important question for you to answer TG: it is imperative that you answer this message as soon as possible TG: shits super important TG: like the world will be destroyed by a whole bunch of meteors if you dont answer this question TG: it will be fucking catastrophic for everyone involved TG: and everyone involved will just be everyone in the world TG: possibly the universe too who really knows

GG: dave

TG: what

GG: just ask me the question already!!!!

TG: oh yeah right TG: okay ill lay it on you TG: if you were the ruler of a theoretical literary device kingdom, what literary device would you be the ruler of

GG: that question is super weird :/ GG: but i guess i would rule personification??? GG: i havent really thought about it really GG: its kind of super oddly specific too

TG: maybe a little bit TG: but i knew you would rule over personification TG: john is still trying to decide what literary device kingdom he would rule over

GG: oh! GG: maybe he could rule over the hero kingdom!!

TG: is hero a literary device

GG: i think it might be more of a character arc than a literary device but this sight seems to count it as one

TG: ok i guess thats fair

GG: im going to keep looking through these literary devices GG: some of them are kind of funny!! GG: like this one called non sequitur

TG: what the fuck is that

GG: according to the site its a statement that doesnt really make any sense or have any sound logic GG: like saying that if all humans have bones and crocodiles have bones GG: then crocodiles must be humans

TG: what the fuck is that logic

GG: its called non sequitur for a reason!

TG: sounds like something you would find straight off of tumblr TG: hot off the press and ready to consume

GG: that metaphor didnt really make any sort of sense dave

TG: when do my metaphors ever make sense jade

GG: … GG: :/

TG: exactly

GG: i found a literary device that might fit john!

TG: what is it

GG: its called a parrhesia GG: which is basically a fancy way of saying freedom of speech GG: like saying what you mean and stuff like that

TG: sounds perfect TG: i will be sure to inform john of this development TG: pester me if you need anything alright

GG: ok! GG: :)

TG: … TG: 8)

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: okay so i found out what kingdom you would rule over

-- ectoBiologist [EB] is an idle chum! --

TG: alright so you arent here TG: whatever TG: ill tell you anyway TG: you would rule over the parthinian kingdom TG: that was not the correct kingdom TG: that was just a jumble of words that didn’t even make any sort of sense TG: they just happened to start with a p TG: okay just give me a second to double check what it was called TG: parrhesia TG: that still sounds like a jumble of words but i swear its an actual real word TG: it means like freedom of speech or whatever TG: boldness of speech TG: i just realized that all you guys have a literary device that begins with a p TG: prose personification parrhesia TG: and im just sitting over here on my throne of metaphors TG: … TG: super fucking weird TG: anyway TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

You weren’t really sure whether or not to tell someone about seeing Karkat at the bookstore. You were kind of tired, and you were all peopled out for the day, so you just decided to go to sleep instead.

You can’t wait for Saturday.

[sadrien]

Ok so YES I love the long distance internet friends au but consider! Long distance wrong number au

honestly anon, thank you so much for this tonight. 

i took long distance and made it loooooong distance to the point where it probably doesn’t make sense, but ~~suspension of disbelief~~

texts between adrien and the mystery person (wow i wonder who) are in italics because theyre in french. also i didnt want to bother anyone so ‘numéro inconnu’ is from google translate so im sorry for….that

finally i tried to streamline how i do texts for this just because the way i do texts is usually a lot clunkier? so it looks more like wanna chat but isnt in like….the contact names are still what the other person would see? like when it says pretty boy thats ninos contact name for adrien and—

frick just tell me if its too confusing and tell me how to fix it im really tired

[on ao3 in case the read more is a butt and wont open]

2:51 PM unknown number: Did this work????? unknown number: a;slkdfjadj its me btw unknown number: I mean duh its me who else would it be unknown number: If you screenshot this conversation al I swear to go d Ill kill you

Adrien squints at his phone. Not only does he not know this number, but the text are in French. That’s…unusual. He thinks that it’s a lucky coincidence that his father is from France and insisted he learned the language before replying.

2:52 PM numéro inconnu: I think you might have the wrong number. numéro inconnu: Sorry if my French is bad I don’t speak it often and I write it even less

unknown number: Ohmogd unknown number: IM SOSO RRY  IDNT MEAN OT unknown number: AHHHHH I MUSTCE TYPED IT IN WRONG???????? unknown number: Im sorry IM osrry Im sorry Im s orry Im sorry!!!!!!!!!! ; ^ ;

It takes Adrien a minute to translate the texts with the typos. He’s not nearly as fluent as he thought he was. His dad will be thrilled about that. Maybe he needs to mention to Nathalie that starting Chinese has left him a little rusty with his French…

Not that this is going to be a thing. Because it’s not. He’s not going to keep texting some random stranger from— Wait a minute.

2:54 PM numéro inconnu: On the off chance of sounding really stalkery numéro inconnu: (I’m not sure if that’s the right word, I had to use Google Translate) numéro inconnu: Do you live in France?

Yup. That question is just as creepy as it sounded in his head. Adrien spins slowly in his chair as he waits for a response, completely disregarding the homework he needs to have done before he leaves for fencing.

2:57 PM unknown number: Ummm unknown number: I dont know if i should be telling you this random stranger I texted by accident unknown number: But seeing that its a big country unknown number: ANd idk how youd find me to like murder me or something unknown number: Yes. Im from France unknown number: Why??

3:01 PM numéro inconnu: It’s just that numéro inconnu: I live in the United States so… numéro inconnu: I’m trying to figure out how you got a wrong number that…wrong numéro inconnu: That sounded mean I’m sorry!!!!!!!

Adrien puts down his phone and groans. Scaring people off from literally an ocean away. He’s always known he’s not the greatest at socializing but this is some next level shit. He stares at his darkened phone screen for a minute before deciding that whoever he’s been texting is probably extremely weirded out and won’t be replying.

He’s strangely disappointed by that.

And while he could go back to doing physics work, he’s not going to. Because now he’s distracted and he doesn’t really want to be thinking about sound waves right now. Maybe in like fifteen minute, because sound waves are cool and add a whole new layer to music that he kind of loves, but not right this second.

The next time his chair spins past the desk, he grabs his phone and pulls up his conversation with Nino.

3:09 PM pretty boy: Have you ever been texted by someone who has the wrong number before?

duuuude: yup duuuude: it was weird af duuuude: didnt turn into a full convo cause they never responded

pretty boy: What did they send?

duuuude: a rad horse painting and the message ‘jen painted another horse’

pretty boy: Ok wow yeah that is kind of weird

duuuude: yeah i didnt respond duuuude: but then the next day they asked about florida?? and flooding??? and were like yo have you seen or called anyone and i was like oh shit i should probably respond because this seems important incase theyre looking for someone

pretty boy: Yeah that sounds like a smart move pretty boy: Did you ever hear back from them

duuuude: nah duuuude: unfortunate too i wouldve loved to see more horse drawings duuuude: anyway that was kinda a random question any reason why you ask?

pretty boy: I got a text from a wrong number pretty boy: From France

duuuude: what the fuck duuuude: bruh international texting fees duuuude: good thing youre rich my dude

pretty boy: Nah it’s ok it was all iMessage

duuuude: bless duuuude: so was it like duuuude: in french

pretty boy: Yup

duuuude: aw man you lucked out duuuude: is it like a full conversaiton??

pretty boy: Idk they haven’t responded in like 15 minutes pretty boy: It was nice while it lasted

duuuude: :/ rip

Adrien blinks in surprise when a notification from the unknown number pops up at the top of the screen. He clicks it immediately, not even reading any of the text before he does.

3:27 PM unknown number: I dont?????? KNow???????????? unknown number: My friend got a new phone and wrote her number on my arm but her writing is always kinda a mess and also I smudged the numbers because IM a mess and I unknown number: Somehow???? unknown number: PLUS I managed to add the us country code????

numéro inconnu: Well I’m pretty sure that’s just a 1 so that’s understandable

unknown number: And any other numbers I needed??? Hwo did I?? unknown number: I don t know how I did it D: unknown number: Ohmy god and I just realized you probably dont want a million texts from a total stranger in a language you barely speak?? unknown number: IM SO SORRY ILL STOP NOW unknown number: YOU SEEM REALLY NICE SORRY FOR WASTING YORU TIME unknown number: OK BYE

3:36 PM numéro inconnu: It’s fine! numéro inconnu: My dad is actually from Paris so I do know French numéro inconnu: I can’t really say I’m totally fluent in it but I spoke it a lot when I was little numéro inconnu: This is good practice! numéro inconnu: And you’re weren’t wasting my time at all, I promise

Good going, Agreste, he thinks to himself. Over enthusiastic and weird. He tries not to think about it too much and goes back to physics. Physics with its constant equations and complex numbers and waves and waves and waves and waves. It gets a little easier when he’s able to connect it to something he knows. He can hear frequency in his music and beats when he tries to tune instruments. He finds his fingers itching to spread across the black and white piano keys and lose themselves in the music.

By the time Nathalie is calling him for fencing, he’s mostly forgotten about the conversation he had with the stranger across the sea. Not entirely, it’s still in the back of his mind, but he’s moved past the disappointment of likely never speaking to them again. While he’s fencing, his mind has no room for those thoughts and he throws them away. He won’t be needing them again.

When Adrien checks his phone after practice for schedule updates from Nathalie or texts about the weekend from Nino, he finds a single text in French at the bottom of his pile of notifications.

He can’t stop himself from smiling as he opens it. He’s not exactly sure what time it is in France right now, he assumes it’s fairly late and doesn’t expect a response anytime soon, but he replies quickly anyway. His reply is short and simple, but he doesn’t know what else to say, so it’ll have to be enough for now.

Maybe this is a one time thing. Maybe it isn’t. He’d like it to be the latter, but right now, he’s just winging it.

4:02 PM unknown number: Well if youre really really sure… I mean I wouldnt be talking to you often obviously!!! But it might be cool to know more about America? Ive always wanted to visit and wow this probably is super weird and Im so sorry for that like this conversation hasnt been weird enough already ahahahhhhhhhhh but um. I just mean to say that if you wanted to maybe keep talking I wouldnt mind?

5:19 PM numéro inconnu: I’d love to keep talking if you want to! :)