#btw SEVERAL have told me how much they are going to miss me and at least two have made me start crying in the hallway

[pyreshe]

one thing i did not anticipate about me leaving my job is the amount of people who came out to tell me how much they enjoyed working with me and will miss me. the lead of a different department even went as far as telling me that she would have hired me to her team on the spot had they had an opening & that she will tell me if they ever do have an opening so i can apply (if i want to). like the fuck?

[lilgynt]

you know what funny enough during all of the shit between the last few days my brother and i were doing our usual routine of awkwardly texting and then i noticed with his like letter saying how he loves and thanks me for dealing with this fucked situation he sent me like 50 bucks so i got my dad settled long enough for me to make a two bags of edibles deep call to him and we talked a lot

[darnell-la]

Could you write something Logan x reader where she uses a safe word? Like usually she is fine and enjoys the rougher play but for whatever reason she is overwhelmed or gets scared. Maybe she is embarrassed or feels bad for it because she doesn’t want him to blame himself or something

note: our most active author's birthday was yesterday, so we’ve been pretty busy. we apologize for the gap in our posting but trust me, we have a lot of posts coming. stay tuned!

btw, I gave you guys a lil tease at the end…

———

Today has been a long day of teaching for y/n. She hoped to come home and rest, but Logan also had a bad day. Usually, when he does, he needs to kiss, feel, or be in y/n to relax.

“I’ve missed you all day. Damn kids always pushin’ my buttons,” Logan spoke low in the crook of y/n’s neck as his hips slowly moved.

“You just take all of my stress away, baby. Love you so much,” Logan growled, now snapping his hips. He loved the feeling of her growing wet underneath him. He loved her so much.

Y/n let out a small and soft moan, enjoying the pleasure, but she still felt off. She hadn’t told Logan she wanted a break today, because the man looked more stressed than usual.

“You sound so beautiful, baby. Can’t get enough,” the man rolled his hips in the right spot, getting him close to his climax.

As he was thrusting, he realized y/n hadn’t come yet. “C’mon, baby. Cum on me. Wanna feel you,” the ma buried his face into her neck to bite down a bit, just how she liked it, but right now, she felt off.

“Fuck, baby, c’mon! C’mon!” The man growled, snapping his hips at a fast and hard pace. “L-Logan,” y/n stuttered, feeling the pleasure but more pain since her body was working against her.

“Yes, baby, that’s it. That’s it!” Logan placed one hand next to Y/n’s head and used the other to grip her waist, pulling her body into his thrust.

“S-Stop,” y/n begged low, not knowing if she should stop the man, or let him relax. “Ssh, baby — So fuckin’ close,” the man said as his cock twitched in her.

Y/n tried keeping herself together, knowing this would only last several more thrusts, but her eyes began to tear.

“R-Red,” y/n said low, instantly, making Logan slow his hips down. “Red!” Y/n cried out. Logan quickly pulled out of y/n and pushed himself off of the bed.

Logan went to speak, but he cut himself off after seeing y/n curl up on their shared bed. He was afraid he did something wrong. He didn’t know if he should comfort her or stay back.

“Bub?” Logan asked, voice soft so he wouldn’t alarm her. “Baby? A-Are you okay?” He asked as he slowly crawled on the bed to look over her curled body.

“Y-Yes, I just need time,” Y/n said, shutting her eyes tighter in embarrassment. How could she stop her own husband as he got closer to finishing, just because she had a bad day at work.

“O-Okay, sweetheart, just- I’m here if you need anything, okay?” He asked as y/n slowly turned around. “No, no, don’t leave. I-I didn’t mean it,” Y/n said as she rubbed her tears away.

“Just a bad day at work. It’s nothing serious, so we can continue-“ Logan cut her off before she could continue. “Nah uh, we’ll continue tomorrow. Let’s just relax for right now, okay?” He said as she went to pull y/n down to lay with him, but she refused.

“No, no, I’m fine! I swear, we can keep going. I-It’s not that serious-“ Before she could continue again, he got her off. “It is serious if you’re shouting safe words, y/n,” Logan said.

Y/n stayed silent at his tone, not knowing how to respond.

“Baby, if you’re not down to make love, you gotta tell me. I see you every day, almost all day. I can take a little break to just lay and look into your pretty eyes,” Logan sat up and rubbed y/n’s wet cheek.

“I know, it’s just-“ y/n was cut off again. “No! No, I don’t want to hear it. C’mere and lay down, before I get upset. Mhmkay?” The man said as he laid back again, waiting for her to do the same, and so she did.

“I’m not relaxed unless you are, princess. Need my baby fully in the mood when I touch her. No exceptions. No matter how much I need to taste you,”

“But, I want you to finish,” y/n said, looking up at the man who she knew needed to release. “Baby, don’t worry about me. I can live until tomorrow or whenever you feel better,” the man said, but it was hard to ignore his hard-on against her body as they lay together.

“C-Can I watch you? I just don’t feel like doing anything, you know? But I can watch you,” she said, feeling a bit awkward, but she couldn’t lie and say she didn’t want to satisfy her man a little tonight.

“Baby, I think you should rest-“ This time, before he could dish, y/n cut him off. “Please, baby? You were so close,” Y/n said as she dragged her hand up his long and thick shaft.

“Fuck,” the man breathed out, feeling his coco twitch instantly. He was painfully hard and leaking out of his tip worse than she’d ever seen before. If he didn’t cum now, he would’ve been in his sleep.

“Fine, but don’t touch me anymore, baby. Feels too good, and I want you to rest,” Logan said as he removed her hand and replaced it with his own.

Logan began fishing his cock slowly, stroking her leftover wetness on his cock to make his hand glide smoother.

“Mhm hm,” Logan tried holding his moan in, feeling a bit off that he was the only one moaning, but when he looked to the side to see y/n’s eyes lust over him storming himself, he let them out.

“Fuck, baby — Not even touchin’ me and I feel like I’m goin’ crazy for you,” Logan said in between his grunts. Y/n placed a hand on his lower stomach, teasing him even after he said to now to uh her anymore.

“What did I say, princess? D-Don’t touch me. Just relax,” he said, but she ignored him and slightly scratched at his skin. “Augh fuck,” the man let out, hips fucking upwards as he felt himself near.

Logan’s feet curled, as his legs pointed in-word, letting y/n know he was right there. “That’s it, baby,” Y/n said, and that was it for Logan.

Logan groaned loudly, fist staying in place as his grip tightened around himself. Cum shot out of him and painted all over his thighs, abs, chest, and y/n’s hands and arms.

Y/n talked the man through his high, trying something new as she stroked his face. Logan accepted it all, softly placing his hand on her hand as he shook and caught his breath.

Logan never knew someone could make him feel this crazy with minimal touch. He’s fallen harder than he was before.

[funficwriter]

Fontaine Characters with Violinist Reader!

A/N: This disappearing thing of mine is annoying, I'm trying to stop it. However, I finally got a bit of spare time to play Genshin and I am so, so in love with Fontaine. I think it's gonna be a wonderful arc. I haven't felt this much jubilation since Liyue or Inazuma!

Warnings; None, really.

Lyney, Lynette, Neuvillette, Navia, Furina, Wriothesley (no particular order)

Lyney

First off, this boy is no stranger to performing, an activity he loves. Naturally, he's going to be most interested in fellow performers, including you!

If you're the type to get anxious before, or even during a performance, say goodbye to that with him. He'll guide you through plenty of destressing rituals to help you relax beforehand.

(This included, but wasn't limited to; Taking deep breaths, doing tongue twisters, asking you to play meme songs on your violin, or tickling your sides because 'laughing is a great way to be loose'.)

Even during, should you freeze up and he's in the audience, he'll do a quick but loud magic trick to get everyone's eyes off you. Even one that makes him look like a fool, so long as you have time to put yourself together.

He'd LOVE to have you on stage with him! He adores your music and would ask you to sync it up with dramatic moments in his magic.

If you compose you own stuff, he's pretty much your biggest fan. The guy who never misses a concert. The loudest clapper. The biggest braggart.

"That gorgeous, graceful violinist we had the pleasure of watching? What if I told you that they're coupled up with an equally electric performer? That is, me~."

Lynette

It's easy to think that her brother outdoes her in terms of being your fan, but quietness hides a lot. If you think she doesn't care as much, you're so, so wrong.

She learned several music skills just to be closer to you, including sight-reading. BTW, she's got a killer voice and loves to sing out your compositions. Sometimes it helps you come up with alternative movements within them.

She can also play piano, to a good level of accompaniment. With time, one would think she is also a music assistant; It's not uncommon for her to be on your stage.

Lynette is VERY attentive to your instrument. Does it need rosin? A new bow, perhaps a re-hair? You just say the word, and she'll happily take it to the repair workshop if you have no time.

"By the way, Y/N prefers real horse hair, the thinnest you have. Don't worry. They're talented enough to thrive on it.".

She makes it a point to let you know how much she loves what you do: "All other music in Fontaine pales in its beauty next to yours. Please, keep playing.".

Neuvillette

You play the violin? (he crosses his legs and assumes his royal position). So when are you going to get married? Will you be okay playing a few pieces, even while being the spouse? /Half-joking, tbh.

For him to say that he is the lover of a music pioneer as important as you... Will never not be a moment of joy for him.

First off, what a sugar daddy. I hope you made a list of the expensive violins you wanted but couldn't afford. Because now, it's yours, never mind the Mora. Your very case may as well be coated with gold.

He won't die on this hill, but he would love it if you could play a bit during the parties he hosts. He loves live music to begin with, but after hearing you, it feels like no other pro could hope to sound as good as you.

(And side note, he likes how mesmerized everyone is with you lol)

If you're the type to remember your patron's personal preferences, and compose/play in accordance to that, just for him? Put hearts in his eyes. He's no longer joking about the wedding thing.

While he loves showing you off, he'll never force you if you're shy/nervous. If anything, he would also feel very special if he got to heard songs not out yet, compositions just for him...

"Perhaps this is Lady Furina's way of rewarding me for my years of service. Bless our Archon for giving me such a talented, show and heart-stopping partner.".

Navia

She likes that the Spina del Rosula is represented by passionate, talented people!

If you like sweets, I say just join her team. It's guaranteed pastries after each request lol.

Her detective work is cool, but can get a bit drab after a while. She likes asking you to play some violin ambiance, partly because it makes her feel cool, and partly because your music changes the atmosphere for much better.

Navia is a woman of decorum, but she'll often have trouble staying still during your concerts. It doesn't matter if there are rules to how loud a woman can cheer, she's happy for you and will make sure you know that.

She becomes even more proactive than usual. If a concert of yours falls on the same time as her work, she'll scour the ends of Teyvat for its solution, so she can see you.

With time, she might request you to play pieces that her father loved. Once they're brought back to life, through your own strings, she can't help but be a little emotional. She must have done something wonderful to have you.

"How beautiful, how poignant as you, my dear Y/N! This calls for macaroons! Which flavor would you like today?".

Furina

"Yes, Neuvillette, I know they perform and all, but why can't I keep them to myself! They're so darn great, I want that everyday!"

Of course, she's not gonna stop you, but beware; I feel like Furina would almost turn you into her own personal violinist lol.

She'd keep requesting your presence over her other personal entertainment and somewhat bombard you with song requests. Buuut if you're looking for a varied repertoire, she's your gal!

One reason she requests so much is because she so impressed with how you not only fulfill them all, you do it so creatively and beautifully. You don't just follow the note as it is... Once you're acquainted with what she likes, you modify the tune a bit to be more her taste.

She's so cute when she claps; The way her hands go so fast and she's about to get up from the seat, the huge eye and smile... Why, you might start reconsidering her offer.

"Bravooooo, Y/N!! Bravo! That was everything, I can't go on without an encore!"

If the tune is more happy-go-lucky, she will get up and dance along. Will also do it in circles around you because she's your little orb :3

Wriothesley

"Forgive me for intruding... But I was overhearing, and your playing is terrific. Electrifying. Do you happen to perform on Saturday nights? That's when I can leave the Fortress for a bit.".

Of all your fans, Wrio is one of the quieter ones, but not so much that no one knows it. For one, he's a Duke, he's bound to enjoy good music. And heavens knows he needs some fun in his life.

Here's a fun thing (ngl this is what I was excited to write): At first, it doesn't sound like he can make it to your recital. You see him on his desk, surrounded by paper mountains that only ever seem to grow. He doesn't want to make you sad, but his remark lets you know that he's not coming: "Would it kill some of these people to tone it down for a bit so I can go see my partner perform?".

So imagine your shock when you step on stage, and see him on the first row, sitting tall and handsome, shit-eating grin on his face and waving. You really bought it for a moment.

"Hehe... Did you really think I can't even make a bit of time to see Fontaine's best violinist in action? You actually bought that?".

I HC that he has insomnia, and has tried any things to cure it, but to no avail. It's rumored in Fontaine that his is incurable, but little do they know about how he lays down next to your sitting form. Little do they know of the soft lullabies you composed just for him, or how peacefully he dreams afterwards 💜

[bonbonchocolates]

Bunny

Yandere Bunny Hybrid Jungkook x Reader

Summary: When your best friend asks you to look after her pet bunny.......

Warnings: yandere jungkook, kidnapping, obsessive behaviour, obsession at first sight, non-con, smut (not descriptive), breeding kink, baby trapping

A/N: Again originally from my Wattpad account. I hope you like it and if you do please leave a like.

Masterlist

____________________________________________

"Y/N"

Your colleague and good friend, Jungeun called you, grabbing your attention. You turned back to see her with a basket in her hands.

"Can I request you something?"

She asked and came towards you with the basket in her hands. You nodded your head and let her proceed.

"Actually Y/N I have to go out of the station for a few days-"

"Oh"

This was the only word that came in your mouth. You didn't know what to say or didn't even have any idea what she was about to say.

"So can you look after my pet for me?"

"What? You have a pet, you never told me before."

You two have been friends for five years but she never told you she has a pet. You even went to her house several times but she never showed you her pet.

"O-oh y-yeah, I j-just a-dop-ted recently."

Why did she shutter?

She then opened the basket in her hands. You peeped into it and found there was a small bunny inside it.

"Aww so cute."

Those words came out of your mouth as soon as you saw the bunny. After hearing your words a huge smile formed on Jungeun's face.

"Btw, what's his name?"

You asked pointing at the bunny. You were busy admiring it.

"Cookie"

Jungeun said watching you staring at the bunny. She couldn't help but feel happy at the sight.

"So Y/Niee, will you take care of Cookie?"

"Definitely"

"Thanks Y/Niee, thank you, you are the best."

She said before handing over the basket to you. You grabbed it tightly so that it doesn't slip from your hands.

"Y/Niee, I should get going, I'm getting late."

She said before running towards her car .

"Jungeun wait!"

"Bye Y/N, take care."

She turned back to you the last time and yelled at you. Soon she disappeared from your sight. You eyes then fell on the bunny in your hand. You found it staring at you.

"Let's go home, Cookie."

You walked towards your car with the basket in your hands. Just then something striked your brain, why did Jungeun bring her pet to work? Most importantly when she came to work she had no basket with her.

A drop of rain fell on your face. You know it's going to rain soon. You better get home soon.

_________________________________________

Next Day:

You were searching on internet about how to look after a bunny. You had a dog and a cat before but never had a bunny so you have no idea how to take care of them.

You were currently at your work place and right now you had no work. You looked at the desk beside yours which was empty because it was Jungeun's. It's been a day but you miss her so much.

You heard a tap sound on your desk, you looked up to find a man you had never seen before.

"Excuse me, are you miss Y/N?"

"Yes"

After hearing that the man flashed you a bunny smile. You found it adorable.

"Good, I'm your new coworker. I'm here to work at the place of miss Jeon Jungeun."

Wait-what in place of Jungeun. No it can't be, Jungeun can't leave. You will die without her.

"What, Jungeun left?

"No actually miss Jungeun will not come to work for a month or two. So I'll work at her place."

You sighed in relief. Thank God Jungeun didn't leave but she'll not be coming for a month or two. She told you she is going out for a few days. Why didn't she tell you where she is going or why she is going? It was weird because she never hid something from you.

"Btw, my name is Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook."

____________________________________________

It has been almost two weeks since Jungkook joined your office. You two have gotten really well and now you are very good friends. You both often grab lunch or coffee together.

It doesn't matter how good of a bond Jungkook and you have now, you still miss Jungeun. She is your best friend and you can share each and every problem with her.

About Jungeun, you called her many times but she didn't pick up the call. You are really worried about her. You just hope she is fine. You talked about her to Jungkook, he assured you that everything is okay and she is fine. You hope he is right.

"What are you thinking about Y/N?"

Jungkook's voice brought you out of the stream of your thoughts. You looked at Jungkook who was staring at you.

"Oh nothing"

"Y/N if you want to share it with me you are free to. I won't judge you."

"I know"

Suddenly you realised that it's getting late and you should head home. Cookie is alone and you need to feed him.

"Jungkook, it's getting really late. I must head home."

"Oh yeah, I am getting late too."

With that both of you parted your ways.

____________________________________________

"Are you hungry, Cookie?"

You went towards the basket where Cookie was seated. You picked him up and were about to leave when your eyes spotted something. You placed Cookie down on the floor and grabbed the piece of paper which you found in the basket.

Why didn't you see it before? Maybe you didn't pay so much attention to it. You opened the piece of paper. 'Oppa, please don't hurt Y/N' was all written on the paper. It appeared to be Jungeun's handwriting but why will she write something like this and who wants to hurt you? So many questions went through your mind.

You decided to ignore it and do what you were about to do. You decided to feed Cookie but when you looked down where you kept Cookie, he was not there.

Just the you heard the pop sound of your phone. It was kept on the nearby table so you quickly grabbed it and checked the notification. You had received a message from Jungeun. You were so happy to see her name, she finally remembered you.

____________________________________________

Jungeuniee🐇:

Run Y/N

_________________________________________

Why would you run? What happened? Why did she text something like this?

_________________________________________

You:

What happened Jungeuniee?

Jungeuniee🐇:

Y/N run away before Oppa gets you.

You:

Why should I run from your Oppa?

Jungeuniee🐇:

Y/N you have time now.

Run away before Oppa gets you.

You:

Stop joking Jungeun.

I know you don't have a brother.

Jungeuniee🐇:

Y/N I lied to you.

I have a brother and he is obsessed with you.

You:

What are you saying Y/N?

Jungeuniee🐇:

Y/N I'll explain everything to you.

But right now just run away.

And don't take Cookie with you.

____________________________________________

Just then you heard the sound of something breaking. I ran towards my kitchen from where the sound came from. There I found Cookie on the kitchen counter and a plate broken into pieces.

I grabbed Cookie from there. I am glad that he didn't get hurt.

"You have no idea what you have done?"

I gave Cookie something to eat and I made something for myself to eat. I was having my dinner but couldn't stop thinking about what Jungeun had said.

She has a brother and I had no idea. Her brother is obsessed with me. How can it even be possible? She has to be joking because whatever she said doesn't makes any sense. But somewhere inside you was saying you to listen to her.

Whatever she said is definitely not possible, isn't it? Suddenly your head started to pain and you started to feel dizzy. You held your head tightly in your hands.

"Good night sweetheart, sleep well. You have a long night ahead."

You looked up and saw a figure sitting right in front of you through your blurry vision. It appeared to be Jungkook but what is he doing here? Before you could take a proper look at the person everything went black and you fell asleep.

____________________________________________

Jungkook's POV:

I looked at Y/N, she already passed out. I went towards her and picked her up in bridal style.

"Now I finally have you."

I whispered to her even though I know that she is not able to hear me. I am so happy to have her all for myself and all thanks to my sister. If she would not have helped me I would have never got my sweetheart.

_________________________________________

Flashback:

I was walking down the street in search of the dog who killed one of our pack member. How dare he kill one of our member? He will face the worst death for that and I will make sure of it.

Just then my eyes caught a sight of a girl helping an old lady cross the street. I was captivated by her beauty. I totally forgot what I was here for and just watched her helping the old lady. Nowadays we don't find such people often.

That was the moment I realised that I fell for her. I need her in my life. Don't worry sweetheart I will soon make you mine.

End of Jungkook's POV

_________________________________________

"Y/N, Y/N"

You heard somebody wishpering your name. You opened your eyes and found Jungeun staring at you.

"Jungeuniee-"

She covered your mouth with her hand before you could speak further. You observed the surroundings and found yourself in an unfamiliar room. Where were you?

"Didn't I tell you to run away?"

Jungeun wispered to you.

"But wh-"

"Listen Y/N, I lied to you that I don't have any siblings. I actually have a brother."

"But why did you lie?"

"I wanted to live a normal life as a human. Yes, we are not humans we are rabbit hybrids."

Are you dreaming? What is she saying? Rabbit hybrids- do they even exist? But the most important thing right now was that why are you here in the first place?

"Why am I here?"

"My brother brought you here. He is obsessed with you and wants you to be his mate. This is why I told you to run away but you didn't listen to me. At first I thought he loves yo- "

Before Jungeun could complete her sentence you heard someone clearing their throat. You looked at found Jungkook standing near the door with his hands on his hips.

You were correct it was Jungkook whom you saw before passing out. He is the one who kidnapped you and he is Jungeun's brother. Why didn't you figure it out before? Truth to be said both Jungkook and Jungeun had so much in common. They have the same surname and even a similar name.

"Get out, sister"

He yelled at Jungeun which had you in shock. You never saw this side of him and it freaked you out.

"But Oppa-"

"I said get out."

Jungeun hurriedly ran away from the room. You were now alone with Jungkook. He started to come towards you.

"Stay away from me."

You yelled at him but nothing worked. You tried to run away but in a moment Jungkook was above you. He pinned you hands above your head. You regret not listening to Jungeun and running away.

"Can't do sweetheart. I love you so much. I can do anything to have you even if I have to get rid of someone I will do it. If I can pretend to be a pet bunny then I can do anything."

He quickly captured your lips in a kiss. The kids was rough and demanding. He was enjoying the kiss but you struggled in his grip.

"Now I will make you my mate so that you can never get away from me."

With that he started to remove your clothes. You tried to push him off you but nothing worked because he was too powerful compared to you.

____________________________________________

He was thrusting deep inside you while you were crying helplessly. He was moaning in pleasure while you were groaning in pain.

You thought Jungkook to be a good person. You trusted him but he betrayed you. Even your best friend betrayed you. She was the one who helped Jungkook. You can never forgive her. Even though she said you to run away. If she wanted she could have protected you from him.

"I have to make sure that my seeds reach your womb. Jungeun loves babies."

With a final thrust he cummed inside you and laid on top of you. He then kissed your forehead. You now know that you are forever trapped with him.

____________________________________________

[kanmom51]

Like Crazy - new insights

*This is a reposting of my latest reblog due to issues with that specific post.

***This has been sitting in my drafts since April 2023!!!

This is the post I reblogged and the basis to my own post.

Yep. I had some of a post written way back in April 2023, but the pieces just didn't come all together for me.

After Muse's release and specifically after the BTB yesterday where JM discussed Who, Muse and the lyrics, we also saw the change made to Who's lyrics from "you" to "she" things started to clear up for me. But then, a friend also shared a picture of the original lyrics of Like Crazy, which were subsequently altered before recording. We discussed these changes and I now feel that this is it! This is the missing piece to my post.

I mostly left what I wrote over a year ago in tact, adding the missing pieces to this puzzle that makes this post with what I feel is a little more insight into Like crazy.

Needless to say, these are my opinions, how I see the lyrics, the ones that made the cut and the ones that stayed in JM's lyrics journal.

So, let's get started:

Here I was thinking I'm the only one who was seeing this...

I do hope I'm reading this right, before going off motormouth about something that maybe isn't what is being said, but to hell with it, this is something I've been thinking too and I'm just gonna come out and say it.

We're all over 18 here right?

This is a subject we can talk about?

The more I listen to this song, the more I think it to be true too.

First of all, before starting off, I want to link this ask:

**Shock and awe... "she" wasn't part of the original lyrics for Like Crazy . Colour me surprised to learn the same is true with Who (even though JM didn't actually write the song himself). Oh, and if we are on that subject already, how not surprising to see the process of writing the song with John Billion, who happens to be one of the writers of SNTY as well (me sitting here thinking of several words and references that could have been somehow suggested and inserted into the song. No idea who (nah, I'm telling lies, I know exactly who). How shocking (NOT) to see that the artist actually had input with the song lyrics of which he is not credited in writing.

Again, the depth of the song, the layers to the song and the multiple interpretations too.

JM told us this song is about him struggling. He told us he was going through a period where he was drinking too much. He was finding fulfillment in ways other than performing, as performing is part of him, he is a performer, someone who needs the stage to express himself. The stage is where he is at peace, the stage being a piece of him that he was missing.

We saw his outburst of emotions in the first day of MOTS ON:E (that was my first experience of BTS and he literally broke my heart - and later seeing him being mocked for it infuriated me).

This was October 2020, around 6 months into the pandemic. The uncertainty. This is their first online performance and from there until Muster another 9 months go by. We know from Festa 2022 that the pandemic screwed up all of their plans. The uncertainty, working on and releasing BE and then Butter and PTD everything leading up to the PTD online concert, a year after MOTS ON:E. For those that performing is their life, standing in front of an audience and giving it their all, it's a hard pill to swallow. The unknown, if they will ever get back to perform on stage in front of a live audience, when this is who they are, their essence, it can be unbearable. JM wasn't the only performer to go through this. It's just that he shared this with us. He showed us his pain and vulnerability and was mocked for it by many. Shame on them!!!

So, again, JM told us with Like Crazy, that he was filling in that hole. Alcohol was mentioned by him specifically. But listening to the song, I think it's quite clear that sex was a very big part of it as well. Looking for that rush, that high. It's clear as day, for me anyway, in the lyrics.

(I think we could last forever I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

[Verse 1] She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, you can leave it Stay with me until today

[Verse 2] Watch me go Wet me all night (Away) And morning too Don't come if you're drunk

In this loud music It fades me It's a drama-like story I'm get used to it Have you come far to find me that you used to know? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

[Chorus] I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Interlude] Mmm-hmm Yeah, hey Mmm-hmm Ooh-woah Mmm-hmm Mmm-hmm (Forever, you and I)

[Verse 3] Me reflects in the mirror I'm going crazy without hesitation I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Outro] This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Those are the lyrics he recorded.

But you see, there were changes made to the lyrics he was working on originally, and we got to see some of them.

This specifically:

Reading this draft and the final ones there are a few things that just fall into place for me (and I'd think for anyone that reads them), loud and clear:

First of all, obviously JM is singing about drinking too much alcohol. If the final lyrics hinted to losing himself in alcohol, the draft lyrics are ever so clear regarding that point.

Second of all, the sex. I think JM was pretty straight forward using the wording he was using. "Give me a good ride" can be other things, if you twist it around to try and explain it away, but bottom line, those lines within the context of the lines in the draft, like "just go turn off the light, you and me..." not to mention the whole chorus, to me the reference is obvious.

Next, I talked about the many references to JK in this song in this post:

This is all also relevant when it comes to my next point being the fact that to me it's clear that JM wrote this song referencing a special someone with whom he shares a high level of intimacy. A special someone that was there by his side when JM was struggling. A special someone that was struggling seeing JM going through everything he was.

To that person JM wrote (in the draft): "oh baby don't you cry, just wanna see your smile..."

These lines, they were too much. Too obvious. Too intimate. And they were left out probably because of just that.

So JM went with other lines. A little less obvious perhaps, and yet still very telling. The finale of the song:

No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Now, you could claim that the song is about an inner struggle. JM struggling with himself, talking to himself, and yes, that could very much be part of the message JM, the king of layering, is going for. But see, that's exactly the point. JM is the king of layering, of having several meanings and messages within his lyrics and creations. And this is not different. There is no mistaking the reference to another person, not JM himself, in the lyrics. The way he uses the "you" in the lyrics, at times could pass as you being the alcohol, at times the you being himself in the mirror, but at times it's clearly a third party he is talking to. Especially in that finale to the song, that someone that wants to lift him out of that stupor he is in, to wake him up, to save him, when he is unwilling, not ready to accept that help just yet (same person he asks not to cry, knowing that he is making them sad). There are also the clear JK references in this song. The "you are me I am you" being the loudest of them all.

But JM being JM, he showed us in his own way what this song was about, opening up and allowing us to see his drafts.

And then he gave us Letter. Hidden, and private and intimate. Addressed not to us, but to that person that was always there by his side, that person he addresses in Like Crazy telling him "forever you and I". Now, in Letter, being in a better, healthier place, he can repeat the sentiment of them together forever. A sentiment JK had mentioned in the past (omg, that was so very awkward).

And now using lines like : "I sincerely hope we are forever" and "But don’t forget that we’re always together"...

The lyrics, the sentiments, the drafted lyrics that never made it, like the use of "Dangshin", I have talked about it all. Letter was for JK. Period.

When seeing Like Crazy again, the lyrics, the struggle, the person by his side, the intimacy, and Letter, I'm kind of thinking that not only is Letter a love ode to JK. That is stating the obvious. But it's also JM's acknowledgement and thank you to that person that stood by his side in his most difficult of times.

JK.

Bottom line:

Like crazy is about JM struggling and self medicating with alcohol and sex.

It's personal about himself, his struggles, but also includes a person that is there by his side, one he is highly intimate with, one who is there with him together. That person is there, spending the nights with him, in that escape world JM created for himself. Sad seeing JM struggle, trying to find a way to help JM out of that pit but being unable to do so, staying by JM's side all the same.

We know who that person is.

Same person he addresses Letter to.

[buckevantommy]

https://www.tumblr.com/buckevantommy/757878657756872704/btw-i-dont-think-we-need-to-worry-about-buck-and

Agree 100%. But, to further expand that, and going outside the world of the show.

From a GA perspective, or the audience full stop, how many partners are we willing to watch before we lose interest? By this I mean - if the writers are spending screen time / several episodes introducing a new character and a new relationship, usually we get invested. And when that person disappears, it can be frustrating, and the introduction of a new person (thus the start of the cycle again), can feel a bit tiring. Every time they need to find something that makes the audience go: okay, it’s worth for me to care about this character.

Buck’s case is a bit particular, because his relationships haven’t been all that well received (until now). Either it was an ‘okay’ situation, without much interest, or an okay reception but controversial at times (for me, Taylor - I do think the GA was okay with her, but ultimately the couple was not good). Tommy has been imo the first relationship that truly has brought in lots of positive and good reviews and a good investment of attention from fans and even GA. Tommy’s clips in any social media are usually the ones with most views, and in things like IG it goes to talk about the GA more than a focused fandom.

This to say - if Buck was to break up with Tommy, I think a lot of the audience would be frustrated or even grow bored of the constant change of partners. Even, they would be less receptive to a future new partner, because if Tommy (so well received) is gone, who would even stay?

Not to say this means Tommy is Buck’s endgame, because no one knows. But at some point the constant change of partners gets old, and we know Tim agrees when he expressed wanting to get Buck off the hamster wheel (something Oliver agreed on), and Tommy is a really strong character to have Buck settle with.

Long story short: not only from a SL perspective, but Bucktommy being long lasting makes sense for the overall image of the show.

You're absolutely right nonny.

bc if we think about bucktommy in terms of it being Buck's relationship aka. a main character's relationship, enough is enough on dragging him from illfit to illfit - that guy deserves to be settled, at ease in himself, as Bobby once told him, and we've already seen Tommy help make that happen for him.

and if we look back at Buck's relationship history: we're 7 years into poor matches for a guy who has always wanted to love and be loved - and Tommy can be that for him! he has been that for him so far and could so easily fit into the narrative as Buck's significant other moving forward indefinitely. Tommy already feels like the missing piece to Buck's story the same way Karen was for Hen and Maddie was for Chim and Athena was for Bobby - and he's a fleshed out character in his own right just as those partners are.

enough screwing around with Buck's relationships. sometimes it feels like just bc he started out as a fuckboy he somehow doesn't deserve a stable, healthy, loving relationship, like the narrative is going out of its way to ruin any chance he has at that for the sake of drama (but again: none of his previous partners were the right match for him).

i'm going to mention dear dean winchester again bc he has so much in common with Buck, and these kinds of characters (male, strong, macho, attractive, swagger, charming, sexually active, presumably bisexual) always cycle through relationships that never pan out - bc they're not the right fit, but moreover bc these partners seem written in just to be eventually written out, there to help the main character's plot along, aid in some personal growth and add drama, maybe attract more viewership for those interested in seeing more (temporary) female characters.

but it is.. *sigh* tiresome, indeed. let Buck have a stable partner - like Hen, and Chim, and Bobby do - and let their relationship be woven into the narrative to create a richer tapestry like those other pairings do. that is so much more satisfying in terms of storytelling and character growth, than trying to insert drama snags that threaten to unravel things. you can still have drama with committed pairings - every other committed pairing in the show is proof of that.

and if we take off the shipper googles: Tommy is good as Buck's partner, he makes sense, and he has great potential in the longrun both as Buck's boyfriend/husband and as his own character within the wider narrative of the show. he's a natural fit, but he's also entertaining and he has history with most of the main characters already.

i really do see Tommy as Buck's endgame btw, bc they work so well together as a pairing but also as independant characters. BUT i wouldn't be mad about them breaking up/taking a break (as i mentioned in that post: uncertainty about having kids; a potential permanent job position out of state) and then come back together stronger for it. we saw it happen with Henren (but i don't want to see cheating with our boys bc it doesn't fit who they are) so we know if they do breakup it doesn't have to be permanent - and i actually would love the mirror to Buck's first serious relationship where Abby leaves him - only Tommy comes back to him.

[gavisuntiedboot]

How do you think gavi would be if it was the readers first time? would he still be aggressive and have a fast pace?

btw love ur writing❤️

First Time with Gavi

Doing this in bullets cause I fee like it!! SMUT. SMUTTTT. 18+ ONLYYYYYYY. MINORS GO AWAYYYYYYY.

Pablo, in my opinion, tries his hardest not to be with virgins. It's too much commitment and too much obligation. He didn't want to from that kind of connection with someone who he wasn't ready to settle down with

He had mentioned this to you offhandedly one night, as you both sipped on drinks and played cards - a casual hangout. You bit your lip anxiously but said nothing.

You had been with guys before and were what was lovingly called a "technical virgin" - someone who had fooled around and done other things, but had never actually gone so far as to have sex.

You had never found a man that you wanted to go all the way with, and so you continued to satisfy yourself and ya know, *fantasize*

When you and Gavi started talking, it was something you had never felt before - a desire that you never had towards anyone else

You knew almost instantly that you wanted your first time to be with him, but you were nervous because of what he had said before about not wanting to be with a virgin

So when you got to the stage in your relationship where things started to turn more sexual, you were nervous, trying to avoid full sex as much as possible

You did this through multiple tactics - saying you were on your period or too tired.

If you were out of excuses, you would go down on him, satisfying him in other ways to get his mind off of sex

Eventually, he started to get suspicious. He thought you were just playing hard to get, so he tried to make his meetings with you more romantic.

From music to candles to rose petals, he did everything in his power to make you believe he was worthy of you - that he was committed to you and not just after a quick fuck

But nothing seemed to work. Each time, you two would fool around and do other things, but you never went all the way with him. He was growing more and more concerned over this fact, thinking that you just didn't trust him.

So one day while you were cuddling on your couch he asked you about it, wondering if you didn't trust him enough to have sex with him, or if you just weren't interested in general

You go red in the face, heart pounding - you never expected him to confront you about the fact that you two had yet to have sex

Instead of being honest, you pulled a J. Cole Wet Dreamz (listen to this song if you haven't to get the reference).

Thinking it would ruin your relationship if you confessed your virginity, you told him the reason you two had yet to have sex was because he couldn't handle it.

Yes dear reader, you told Gavi that you were such a stallion, so wild in bed, that he would need several days to recover, and that's why you had yet to sleep with him.

His eyes widened with a mixture of fear and excitement, and now you were really in deep shit. You now not only had to pretend that you weren't a virgin, but also that you were a borderline porn star.

But the response seemed to satiate Gavi for now, so you went with it, and in the following days forgot the whole convo.

That is until he texted you saying that the team would have a week off after their next cup game, so he had enough time to recover (wink wink)

"I'll see you on Saturday, Princesa. Then you can finally show me what I've been missing ;)"

You paled and broke into a cold sweat at the thought, and spent the next week watching an unhealthy amount of porn so that you could take notes on everything going on.

When Saturday rolled around, you were a nervous wreck to say the least.

Your doorbell almost gave you a heart attack as you opened the door to find Gavi, in gray trousers and a white t-shirt, a dozen deep red roses in hand.

After a couple pleasantries, you two found yourselves in the bedroom, with his arms peeling off his own shirt and then working on your dress.

You tried to remember everything you watched over the past week, flipping your positions to straddle Gavi's lap.

You helped him remove his pants and he gripped the soft flesh of your ass, kneading it between his fingers and giving it a light smack, causing you to let out a small yelp of surprise.

"You're in for the ride of your life mi amor", he whispered in your ear, playing with the waistband of your panties.

Your anxiety went into overdrive and you pushed off of Gavi moving to the edge of the bed, hiding your face in your hands as you tried to slow your breathing.

Immediately he was concerned - did he do something wrong? What did he say?

He placed a hand on your back to comfort you, and you looked up at Gavi with tears welling in your eyes

"Pablo... I need to tell you something."

He prepared for the worst. His stomach had dropped, and he prepared himself to hear that you had slept with someone else.

"I... I've never done this before."

The shock of your statement had him widen his eyes at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"huh?"

"I've never had sex before."

A smile broke out onto his face as he processed what you were saying, and your cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because you said you don't fuck virgins."

Pablo's laugh echoed through your bedroom, and you hid your face in your hands once again

"Why are you laughing?" "Because when I said that I obviously didn't mean you, stupid. You're my girlfriend, not someone I just met. We're already attached emotionally even without sex."

He swiped your tears with his thumb, pulling you into his chest.

"We don't have to do this tonight, I'll wait for as long as you need. You really thought telling me you were wild in bed was the better alternative?"

You groaned into his chest as he kept laughing. You pressed your forehead to his and placed a swift peck on his lips. You knew you wanted to have sex with Gavi. And now that he had reassured you that he wouldn't leave because you're a virgin, the warmth in your stomach started to spread.

"I know we don't have to, but I want to. With you. Tonight." "Are you sure? I promise there's no pressure." "I'm certain. I want you to be the first person to fuck me, Pablo."

His jaw went slack at your words, and he captured your lips in a searing kiss, arms around your waist pulling you in.

He moved so you were underneath him, pulling away and kissing your forehead gently.

"Princesa, we're not about to fuck. We're about to make love. I want to love you gently like you deserve, angel."

He kissed your neck slowly, making his way up to your ear.

"I have to break you in first. Then we can fuck."

He would be so caring with you, constantly asking if you felt okay

Lots of kisses and gentle touches and praise

"You like that? You're doing so good for me, Princesa"

Would definitely forget to let you adjust to his size, entering you a little rougher than he should

He would stop completely, leaning over you and nuzzling into your neck so that he could stop himself from bucking up into you because you're just so fucking tight.

You would be clenching so hard around him, unable to relax at the new stretch.

"Amor, you're going to have to relax. If you keep gripping me this, I'm not going to last."

You tried to breathe and tried to relax, but the feeling - the stretch - was just too overwhelming.

He brought his lips to yours, pressing a long kiss into you, trying to distract you from the overload on your senses

He moved back to your neck, sucking on your sweet spot, as he brought one hand down to your clit, rubbing circles into it.

You cried out, the stretch finally feeling familiar, and the waves of pleasure from Gavi's movements rolling up your body.

"Please... move"

He started thrusting slowly, pulling out half way and slowly sheathing himself inside you once again, fingers still playing with your clit, lips still on your neck

You started moving your hips along with his, bucking into him and urging him to go harder

He kept the drag of his hips slow, but thrust back into you more forcefully as you whined out for more.

"Don't worry, Princesa. Just enjoy me being romantic. There's time for me to be rough with you later."

He pushed one leg up, bringing the knee to rest against your chest, allowing him to hit even deeper.

You looked up at him with big teary eyes, so overwhelmed with all the new sensations.

He brought his fingers to your mouth, encouraging you to suck on them, before he brought them back down to your clit

He was determined to have you cum first, and it needed to happen fast, because the way you were clenched around him, he was not going to last long.

You felt your climax approaching, and you let out higher and higher moans as you got closer to the edge.

"Ah, fuck, Pablo... Pablo... Pablo"

You repeated his name over and over as you came - it was the only word left in your head

The chanting of his name had Gavi cumming mere seconds after you, wanting to pull out, but you clenched around him so tightly you could do nothing but press his chest to yours, burying his face in the crook of your neck, and whispering how much he adored you

When you two were calm and clean, he would bring you some underwear and a hoodie you had stolen from him, getting in bed with you and cuddling you close.

He would ask you how you felt, but you were still in a state of bliss, looking up at him with love and sex drunk eyes.

He would hold you against his chest, letting you just listen to his heart beat

"Was that everything you hoped your first time would be, angel?"

"Better, Pablito. First times are usually awkward."

"Well I mean that's usually because people are teenagers when they-"

"Shut up."

He would laugh and pull you in tighter, kissing the top of your head.

"Don't get used to this princess treatment. Now that I've gotten a taste of you, I'm coming at you morning and night. We're gonna make you into the sex goddess you claimed to be, baby."

~~~~~~

A/N: I feel like I do these headcannons/ bullet lists wrong but whatever. Hope you guys enjoy this one!! I've been working on it for a couple days. I have two essays due in the next week so I won't be posting as often, but once I'm on break I'll be writing the next part of JP and going back and doing some of the Feb prompts that I missed!! Love y'all <<33

[reasonsforhope]

Is it true some parts will be under water in 2025? I'm kinda of worried cause someone told me about it bc it was on the news

Eh, not really. Like, technically, but that's a very dramatic way to put it.

What that person told you about was probably this prediction, which says that some roads on some of the Florida Keys might be underwater by 2025.

Does that suck? Yes. But it's also pretty limited in scope.

(And by the way, that's probably not "underwater all the time." There will probably be a number of years of "the roads will be underwater at high tide specifically." I can't currently find a source on this, but that's how tides work, and the Florida Keys article does specifically mention them as a main problem.)

The areas in danger first are pretty universally small, very low islands. Actually, a dozen or so small islands have already gone underwater in the Pacific Ocean, but very importantly, none of those islands were inhabited.

They were mostly small reef islands (that is, the entire island is exposed coral reef detritus) and other uninhabited shoals. Mostly, they were so small scientists had to check old satellite images to even figure out that they disappeared. Literally, we're talking about chunks of land that are just 100 square meters/300 square feet. Again, not great, but still very limited in scope.

As this Live Science article thankfully explains, it's pretty unlikely that any countries at all will disappear before 2100.

Also, just because land is below sea level doesn't mean it will be underwater, and there are very real steps we can take to defend a lot of endangered cities/islands.

For example:

Much of the Netherlands is already below sea level, but the country isn't disappearing, because the Dutch have put a lot of work into building and maintaining coastal defenses.

Multiple surveys (including the one that found the missing islands in Micronesia) also found that not all low-lying islands are vulnerable to erosion and flooding. This is because many islands are protected by mangrove forests, lagoons, or both

Mangrove reforestation in particular is genuinely a super effective anti-flooding strategy that is being deployed pretty widely, and is expected to increase a lot in the coming years. Mangroves are effective at not only preventing short-term flooding, but also mitigating sea-level increases (in part by preventing erosion)

Some islands, esp Pacific Islands, have actually grown during the past couple decades, not shrunk. It really depends on what the island is made up of. Not all land is automatically doomed

You can read more about how sinking countries are fighting back here, and the lessons we can learn from them:

-via Time, June 13, 2019

And finally, and this is good news for reasons I'll explain in a second:

Some of the largest and wealthiest cities in the world are at the top of the danger list. (Note: the predictions at that link are based on some fairly severe warming predictions. They do NOT necessarily reflect what's going to happen or when.)

The cities that are going to be in danger the soonest (still away btw) include New York, London, San Francisco, Tokyo, and Dubai. Lots of very rich people in those cities! Who would really like to not have to move (any of their ten different homes lol)

So, flooding aside, we're going to (by necessity) get a lot better at figuring out the quickest, cheapest, most scalable, and most effective types of coastal defenses real fast.

Are rich countries going to be way more able to get strong coastal defense systems up quickly? Yes. Does that suck? Sure fucking does!! But these solutions don't all require a lot of money or tech to implement, even at a large scale, especially when it's local communities driving the effort.

And, importantly, when rich countries pour a ton of money into figuring this out, that will hugely expand our understanding of what techniques work best, why, and how best to deploy them in different situations. Unlike physical structures, that's valuable knowledge that can be shared very, very widely.

And any technology that comes out of this is going to work like solar panels and other green energy: as more people use it, it will get cheaper and cheaper. Probably really quickly.

So, all told, no one's going to be swallowed up in the next few years. We have time to work on this and a lot of people are already doing so.

Mostly, experts predict that the first wave of large-scale issues will be happening around 2050.

Three decades doesn't sound like enough time, in the face of something like this. But you know what? Responses to climate change are speeding up exponentially, and different types of responses are multiplying and magnifying each other.

We went from inventing flight to landing on the moon in just 66 years.

I wouldn't count us out of the climate change fight yet.

(...I wouldn't count on retiring to Florida either, though)

[kamiversee]

that blurb u posted but decided to take out of the chapter literally me giggling, kicking my feet, and rolling around in my bed omfg Kami please YOU KNOWWWWW HOW CHOSO GETS MEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-☃️

Well if that’s the case, here’s a blurb I deleted from the Christmas chapter…

It was after sex w Choso but he was eager for more, yes things are missing but it’s just a blurb ><

Here’s 1k words of Choso thirsting for you. It’s smut btw, just not finished so you may feel edged in the end :3

“That’s what the fuck I thought,” Choso scoffs and then goes back to what he was doing, parting your legs nice and wide enough for his head to go between them.

Your cunt was already wet again from his moment of being commanding. You didn’t even realize how hot you found that until he pointed it out.

“Damn,” Choso chuckles, “Look at her,” He moves a hand and spreads your folds apart to watch the way your liquids glisten. The tip of his cock leaks at the sight, enough precum flowing out that the male almost thought he was experiencing an orgasm already.

Looking at you made his dick so hard and his mouth was watering like crazy, so much so that he was almost drooling already.

“Choso please don’t talk to my pussy like it’s a person,” You say jokingly.

He bites his lip as he stares at your sex, “I can’t help it, baby. She talks to me so I talk to her.” Choso says before slipping his thumb in between your folds. He doesn’t push it in but instead, collects some of your moisture on his skin, hearing you let out a breath of air, “She’s always so wet f’me… ‘nd soft, ‘nd warm…” He comments.

You release a subtle whine, “S-Stop talking…”

Choso’s thumb slides up to your clit and he applies a little bit of pressure, “Why? She likes it when I talk to her,” He continues.

You bite back any sounds that threaten to come out.

“Look at her,” He murmurs, tipping his head to the side, “You’ miss me, princess?” The way he’s talking makes your body twitch in both embarrassment and arousal, the movement not going unnoticed by Choso, “See? I told you she talks to me.”

“Choso-“ Your voice drowns out when the man moves both of his thumbs to your folds and spreads you apart, quickly pressing his tongue to your wetness. “Mmh… w-wait-“

His tongue swipes up and he presses the muscle down as if to really allow your liquids to simmer on his tongue. Then, he pulls away and sighs, “Y’know, I’m surprised you haven’t said anything yet…”

“A-About what?” You whisper, your eyes up on the ceiling as you wonder how you went from thinking about taking a break to here.

Choso takes his hands off you and moves to get off the couch for a minute. “You haven’t noticed something’s missing?” He asked, “Babe, we made out several times already…”

Babe? That’s… new? You ignore it, “Okay…?”

“My feelings are starting to get hurt, y’know…” Choso says with a purposeful pout as he makes his way over to a bag of his. You see him reach into it and then pull out another item, unable to tell exactly what he’s doing due to the lighting.

“I’m confused, what’s missing?” You ask as you start to sit up.

“Don’t move,” Choso voices out. His back is to you so you have no idea how the hell he knew you were repositioning yourself but you freeze and then lay back down, “And now I’m disappointed…”

Your brows furrow, “Cho, just tell me what’s missing?”

You could see his arms moving but you really didn’t know what he was doing. Then, he puts something back into his bag and turns around to you. Choso walks right back over to you and he waits a moment before getting on the couch, simply looking down at you.

You stare up for a moment, glance down at his erection for a moment, a moment longer than intended because his dick is huge, and looking at it distracts you, and then before you even think about looking up, he’s talking.

“Eyes up here, pretty girl,” Choso says.

You glance up and the man then sticks his tongue out. That was when you remembered that cursed piercing of his. The same piercing that’s had you weak all over for quite some time. How could you forget such a thing?

The male closes his mouth and then moves to get on top of you, “Y’know I took it out not too long after I left,” He informs you, “Haven’t put it back in since.” He says, settling in between your legs again.

Your brows furrow, “Why would you-“

His lips press into your cunt abruptly and you let out a breathy sigh. Then, Choso smirks, “Keep talkin’ princess, don’t mind me.”

“I c-can’t talk when you-,” He does it again. This time, his lips part over you and his tongue is slipping in between your folds within seconds, “Fuck…”

There it is, there’s that damn piercing of his tickling you. And it’s fucking cold, contrasting your warmth and making you shudder. Choso licks at your sex a few times before his hands move again. He uses both of his thumbs to spread your folds for a second time and then dives right in.

His tongue smears against your pussy and you can’t help the quiet moan that leaves you. “C-Choso… hah…”

He curls his tongue up as he licks you, forcing your taste into his mouth right before he pulls away to speak, “What? Jus’ give me five minutes…” He grumbles, not even looking up at you as the little taste he got was enough to have him hungry for you, “I missed eating you out so fucking much.” Choso breathes.

You don’t get the chance to respond as his mouth latches onto your cunt again. This time he sucks and slurps your taste into his mouth, gulping loudly and shamelessly as he drinks in your moisture. A groan leaves his throat at the way your taste flows into his mouth and you release a whine.

“Baby…” Choso grunts, “Let me do this til’ you fall asleep.” He requests.

“You said five minutes…”

“I wanna’ eat til’ my jaw locks again.”

Yes, yes he said again. He’s done it before. Three times actually.

“Choso what is up with you? Shouldn’t you be tired?”

He stops for a moment and finally looks up to your eyes, “Baby, let me make you feel good.”

Sorry not sorry for edging y’all w this💀

[cupcakeslushie]

Omg that last update (which was great btw) made me curious about stuff concerning Leo. I always felt like his situation felt a bit different compared Donnie and Mikey's. So like Leo is actually given such a high position in the Foot Clan and it made me wonder if there are parts of it he actually enjoys and maybe even misses when he gets rescued? Like I know Saki is just using him and has severely punished him before. But maybe there were some parts he enjoyed? I mean to be still put in such a high positions is very, idk, interesting I guess? Also I know he's still hostile towards Splinter with the first rescue, so I also wondered then why he decides/agrees to leave? Especially that last update just doesn't give me the vibes he's desperate to go. Unless you already answered that (sorry in that case oops) or if it's spoilers for upcoming updates.

So Im debating on exactly how dark to go in the comic but Leo had a fucked up time among the foot recruits when he was younger. He was bullied/abused (no SA) to the point of him blocking out most of it. He was different and basically tossed in the lion’s den without Saki caring much if Leo survived. So the biggest perk of Leo having a high rank, is that he’s safe from that. He gets to show off and come up with strategies, and have his ideas be listened to. And every successful mission means praise instead of pain.

When Leo keeps running into Raph and Mikey, it messes with his head and confuses him enough that his loyalty comes into question when he refuses to kill them. Cassandra will be the one to save Leo when Saki nearly kills him for the failures.

In those first few weeks of Leo being back with his family he’s weak and a part of him knows that going back would be a death sentence. So he stays, and as his mind clears of Kitsune’s magic, his memories start coming back. It’s not perfect. He feels anger always under the surface in danger of exploding out of him. He thinks he just needs time to decipher all the lies Saki told him over the years.

[in-flvx]

I still find it interesting how so much of the perception of Sirius as a character is swayed by his haughty expression.

Most metas (this is not a dog against those btw, I love Sirius metas, just want to add my own) etc I've seen go with this, his ultra love for james, and his derision towards Peter as the most prominent shows of his character, and infer meaning into every other relationship he has from that point out.

And I think these are outliers.

He looks haughty? Some people are born with resting bitch face, what of it?

And I'll discard any mention of James and Harry right now, bc these are outliers of the greatest magnitude, and looking at every relationship Sirius as extensions of his love for james imo just cheapens his bond to him.

His derision towards Peter is very reasonable, and also the most obvious outlier, and I don't think I need to explain it further. Instead I'll add snape and mundungus fletcher into the mix here, and go on to talk about the often-talked-about usage of certain descriptors within the black family towards people they don't like. As others have pointed out before me, the preferred way to insult people within this family is to insinuate uncleanliness. Walburgas portrait, kreacher and I think also Phineas nigellus use these kinds of insults on a pretty regular basis - many of which go against Sirius as well. And Sirius has adopted these insults, and uses them when he really wants to cut deep. He has many people to be angry with, is surrounded by a whole lot of poor people (for example the entire weasley clan, Remus, and mundungus fletcher), and we even see him in battle.

But he notably uses these cleanliness based insults on two specific people: Peter, and snape. What do these two men have in common? For one, obviously, they all went to hogwarts at the same time. For another, Sirius has, or had had obvious respect for both. Peter as one of his closest friends, as a person he confided in and cared for, and who he then expected to care for him in return (and we know how that turned out). And snape as a rival. As much as Sirius likes to insult snape to his face, he also never misses an opportunity to praise his intellect. Similarly to the way he praises and goads bella in his last duel.

Meanwhile, again, he purposefully surrounds himself with people, who the malfoys regularly call dirty ( the weasleys, hagrid, Remus, hermione), and is also on notably good terms with mundungus fletcher, who everyone from the order likes to call these things too. All of which Harry has described in several shades of dirt as well, tbh. And I'm saying this not in a 'oh wow, the rich boy lowers himself to the commoners' kind of way, bc to me he never gives anything close to this impression. The weasleys come closer to this kind of mindset toward any kind of marginalized person lbr.

What we do see, though, is sirius being incredibly forthcoming and caring towards literally everyone.

He has discussions with hermione about elf rights and their projections of the coming year. He obviously cares about Ron's well-being, long after he mauled him. He jokes around with the twins, and helps them with their inventions. He forgives Remus for thinking Sirius was the spy. He makes a considerable effort to be friendly with Molly after their fight. He adheres to dumbledores bs orders. (I think he told ginny about the repellant charm on the doors but don't quote me on that.) He had the most emotionally honest relationship with lily we see in the text. He cared so much about Peter that lily notified him of his emotional state as something Sirius should see to. He organizes the best Christmas he can manage to keep everyone's mind off of their worry for Arthur. He came close enough to kingsley for inside jokes to develop - jokes urgent enough to be passed to him as quickly as possible.

In my eyes Sirius Black is singular in the way he develops relationships, and in the way he cares for everyone he surrounds himself with.

Even with those he hates.

[fixfoxnox]

Attention - SoapRoach

Description: Roach knows that his boyfriend is a busy man. He's a Captain in the military with so many responsibilities. Still, with another day of plans missed in favor of paperwork, he's craving attention and he intends to have it.

Note: Based on the wonderful art done by the wonderful @miilkybnn (sorry for how much I've been tagging you in stuff lately 😅). Here are the two pieces, please go give them some love, they're incredible. 🧼 🪳

Warnings: Smut, Angst, Hurt and Comfort, tiny bit of fluff, Ghost is there for a second BTW, he's hyping Roach up, Dom/Sub tones

Word Count: 4.4k

Roach tapped his foot impatiently on the ground, nerves tugging at his chest. The longer he stood and the more nervous that he got, he already felt like he was on the verge of tears. The sound of his foot tapping impatiently rang around him, echoing in the dark to mix in with the sounds of crickets and frogs serenading the night. It only drove home the silence that surrounded him.

He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the need for some sort of comfort as he glanced once again at the front door of the building. He was trying his hardest to give Soap the benefit of the doubt. He was hoping beyond hope that the man had simply gotten caught up in his paperwork and was rushing out to meet him now. They had reservations. They had plans. Roach had cleared his entire schedule to make a cute night out with his boyfriend. He'd even gone so far as to stash some...things in their shared room for when Soap would inevitably turn grabby, and they'd return to their room together.

Roach should have known better. At this point, he should have expected it because, well, Soap was Roach's boyfriend, but Captain MacTavish always won out over Soap and, by extension, Roach. Usually, it wasn't a problem. Usually, he loved how hard working and dedicated Soap was to his work and to the team. Usually.

Now, though, with the last four of their dates either canceled or rescheduled or changed because Soap had gotten himself too caught up in work to remember, Roach was frustrated. He'd had his fill of Captain MacTavish. Now he wanted his Soap. Roach wanted to finally have the man's attention to himself. No phone on just in case someone needed to call. No late dates. None of that. He wanted Soap to focus on him, to put him in front of his work at least once.

The door beside him opened, and Roach turned quickly, hope filling him as he did. It was dashed to pieces as he met the eyes of Ghost. Not Soap. He deflated a bit, tucking into himself further as he turned away from his Liutenant.

"Well," Ghost chuckled while taking several steps forward, "don't look too happy to see me." He nudged Roach's side playfully before digging into his pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. Roach watched him pop one into his mouth before flicking open a lighter he'd pulled from who knows where to light the end of it.

"Sorry," he apologized quietly, his voice betraying how upset he was. "I was just expecting -"

"Captain?" Ghost guessed. He glanced at Roach from the corner of his eyes, and Roach avoided his gaze. He turned his attention to the ground, kicking at a rock with his foot as something heavy laid over his chest. "He's in his office. Buried in paperwork like usual."

"Of course he is," Roach grumbled under his breath. He didn't want to be mad. Roach wasn't someone who typically held things against others. In fact, oftentimes, he'd been told by members of the team that he was far too forgiving. He just couldn't shake it, though. He didn't like being angry. Now, though, there was a bubbling of white hot anger that seemed to move through his veins and simmer in his chest. He didn't like being angry, but God, he was so mad.

"I'm guessing," Ghost leaned against the wall next to him, crossing his arms over his chest before reaching up to pull the cigarette from his mouth, "You two had plans?"

"Yeah," Roach brought a hand up to rub over his face, trying not to let too much of his anger show. "Yeah, we did." He pulled his phone from his pocket, dialing the number of the restaurant and hovering his finger over the button to call. He needed to cancel their reservation and let the restaurant know that they could give the table to someone else. He didn't call. Instead, he just stared at it until his screen went dark. "I guess I should go back inside. If he forgot, then there's no point in waiting out here for him."

He tucked his phone back into his pocket and tilted his head up, looking at the dark sky above them for several moments. "You know," Ghost started carefully, "I hope you don't plan to let him off the hook easy for this one."

Roach turned toward him quickly, dread pooling in his chest. "What?"

Ghost took his time in responding, puffing out the smoke from his cigarette for several long moments. "This is, what?" He tilted his head at Roach, "Date number three that he's done this to you?"

"Four," Roach corrected quietly. "It's the fourth time."

"Four times is too many," Ghost shook his head and gave a small tut. A moment of silence hung in the air between them. Roach knew Ghost was right, of course, he knew Ghost was right. He'd been thinking the exact same thing. The only difference is that he knew he'd never have the guts to voice it.

"I know," he agreed. "I don't know what to do."

"Talk to him," Ghost suggested. Roach watched him toss his cigarette but to the ground and stomp his foot over it. "Get mad, Roach. I can see you're upset. Make him realize that you're upset." He pushed himself off of the wall and started back to the door of the building. Suddenly, he paused.

There was a moment that passed before he turned around and marched back over to Roach. "I'm serious, you know?" His voice was careful, and he reached up to pull the sunglasses from his face and lift his mask up enough that Roach could talk to Simon. Not Ghost. Simon.

"I know," Roach answered him quietly.

"You're worth more than what he's giving right now." Simon shook his head at him and made sure to meet his eyes, "You gotta make him realize that. Get mad. Yell. Punish him. Do something and -" he cut himself off with a click of his tongue and a shake of his head, "and don't stop until you've made him grovel. Until he's begging you to forgive him."

The two locked eyes and, for a long moment, they stayed like that. Understanding passed between them. "Thanks, Simon."

Simon hesitated for a long moment before giving Roach a nod. He tugged his mask back down and threw the glasses on top, leaving Roach staring at Ghost once again. Ghost leaned forward to give his shoulder a slight squeeze. "Give him hell, Bug."

With those words, he turned and quickly disappeared inside, once again leaving Roach alone in the dark of the night.

Roach stood outside of Soap's office, his eyes trailing over the neat name plate on the door. Captain John MacTavish. He could hardly stand the sight of the name at the moment. He was mad at Captain MacTavish. He was mad at Soap.

Still, he kept his composure. He didn't like being mad, so he tried not to be as he reached up to give several quick knocks to the door. He knew Ghost wanted him to be mean, wanted him to be mad, but Roach couldn't. He just wasn't like that.

He waited patiently, listening for any call from the other side of the door. Nothing. He knocked again. Another few minutes went by, and there was still no response. He didn't knock again. He knew that if Soap hadn't answered, that meant that the man was too far into his work to pay attention to him. Too far in to actually hear when someone knocked.

He pushed the door open without any further alert of his presence. The door opened silently, but Roach wasn't quiet as he stepped into the room and shut it a little louder than he normally would behind him. His eyes were locked on to Soap the entire time, but he only received a brief glance from Soap before the man focused himself back on the papers on his desk. A flash of anger burst through his chest at the move, but he ignored it.

He stood at the door for several moments. The only sounds in the room were the ticking of the clock on the wall and the scratch of Soap's pen on paper. Roach waited patiently, giving Soap the chance to acknowledge him. To maybe realize what he'd done and apologize before Roach had to spell it out to him. He could never be so lucky.

He took slow steps toward Soap's desk, the sound of his boots hitting the floor echoed around him. He crossed his arms over his chest as he stopped in front of Soap's desk. He waited another moment, but Soap still never looked up at him. Finally, in a voice that was much calmer than he felt, he asked, "Did you forget something?"

Soap glanced up at him from his papers again, but it was clear to see that he still wasn't paying attention. His mind was focused on work and work alone. Something about that made Roach angrier. "I don't think so." He answered back quickly.

"Soap." Roach called his name, his voice betraying how annoyed he felt. Soap didn't look up at him again. "Soap." Roach spoke a little louder. His voice was a little harsher. "Soap!"

Roach gave in to the anger he felt just briefly, just long enough that he didn't even think before rounding the desk and grabbing the paper that Soap was working on to yank it out from under his pen. The move left a streak of ink across the paper, and Soap was quick to stand up, his own face ticked with annoyance. Still, he didn't look at Roach. Instead, he just tried to fix the papers that Roach had displaced.

"Roach, I really don't have time for -"

"Soap," Roach reached out to grab Soap's face, tired of trying to get his attention. He used his grip to turn Soap so that he was forced to look at him. "Look at me!"

There was a pause. Soap blinked at Roach in shock, his entire face betraying his surprise. Roach could see the beginnings of a blush raising across the other man's face, and a part of him felt more then smug about that fact. "Roach," Soap breathed out. Slowly, Roach released his hand on Soap's face.

He took in a deep breath, trying to remember himself. He didn't want to be angry. He didn't like being angry. "Soap," he met his boyfriend's eyes, "did you forget something?"

Soap stared at him, searching his face for a long moment. Roach could see the moment that realization dawned on his boyfriend's face, the moment that he realized that he had indeed forgotten something. "Roach," he breathed out again, "I am so sorry." Roach turned away from him, leaning against his desk for support. "I am so so sorry, I just got caught up and-"

"It's alright," Roach assured him, shaking his head at himself as he did. "I already canceled the reservation."

"Let me make this up to you?" Soap turned back to his desk, "I swear I will make this up to you, okay? Just let me finish this paperwork, and I'll take you out."

Roach's head shot to the side, his eyes wide as he watched Soap sit back down in his desk chair, his attention returning to the papers in front of him. "Are you-"

"I promise I will fix this," Soap pulled some of the papers back in front of him, "I will make this up to you tenfold and we'll go get something to eat and we can reschedule our date night. I'll take the next one off-"

"That's what you said this time," Roach reminded him, still watching with wide eyes and growing anger as Soap returned his attention to the papers, his pen already scratching at the paper again.

"Yes, but I'm serious this time." Soap muttered the words, his attention already gone from Roach. With it went Roach's patience.

"You-" Roach's clenched his jaw, a burning heat of anger flooding through him. He could hear Ghost's words echoing around in his head.

"You gotta make him realize that. Get mad. Yell. Punish him. Do something, and don't stop until you've made him grovel. Until he's begging you to forgive him."

Before Roach could really think over what he was doing, he'd moved his hands to Soap's shoulders and shoved, pushing the man back until his chair was far enough from the desk that he could clamber onto his lap.

"Roach?" Soap's hands flew to Roach's waist, but Roach didn't let them stay there for long. He grabbed at Soap's wrists and with a surprising amount of strength and a lot of help from Soap being caught off guard, he was able to yank Soap's hands away and pin them to the arms of the chair he was in. "Roach?"

"Keep them there," Roach hissed, his face serious, "don't touch."

Soap's eyes widened, and Roach could see that blush from before return. This time, though, it stayed to linger over Soap's cheeks and trail down his neck. "Roach," he breathed out, "what's going on?"

"Do you know how many of our dates you've blown off in a row?" Roach asked him, his voice deceptively calm. His face was still stormy, though, and even as he moved closer to Soap, pressing their hips together temptingly, it didn't fade.

"I," Soap stopped for a moment, his mind fully registering what Roach was asking him. He felt his heart sink into his chest as he realized exactly what this was about. "I don't know."

Roach scoffed and ground his hips down, pulling a gasp from Soap's lips and a small sigh of satisfaction from his own. "Four dates," he glared at the man beneath him, "Four dates that you've blown me off on." He paused for a moment before adding, "I'm beginning to think you're trying to tell me something."

"No!" Soap rushed to speak, but he cut himself off as Roach rolled his hips against him again. "No, ah, uh, no Roach, that's not what's been happening."

"Why then?" Roach asked the words carefully. He carded a hand through Soap's hair, tugging until the other was forced to meet his eyes and hold his gaze as Roach asked, "Is your work more important than me?"

"No," Soap was quick to assure, "of course not Roach thats not- oh fuck!"

Roach cut him off with a hand pressed against his crotch, palming him through his pants. He could feel as the other was growing harder against him. "Really? Then why won't you pay attention to me, hmm?"

"I do pay attention to you," Soap moved his hands from the arms of his chair, once again wrapping the around Roach's waist to tug him closer, "I've just been -"

"Ignoring me," Roach finished, glaring him down, "and blowing me off for paperwork. Is paperwork more interesting than me?" He tilted his head before moving closer, not stopping until his lips were just hovering over Soap's.

"No," Soap shook his head rapidly, "of course not."

"Apparently, it is." Roach reached back to once again grab Soap's hands and press them against the arms of the chair. He gave the man a glare before releasing his grip on Soap's wrists, reminding the man with only a look that he shouldn't move. A hand returned to Soap's hair, giving a slight tug at the strands between his fingers. Soap groaned at the slight pain.

"Since you can't pay attention to me," Roach rolled his hips against Soap's again, a satisfied groan leaving his lips as he felt Soap's hard cock against his own arousal, "You're going to keep your hands off and watch. Understand?"

He tugged at Soap's hair again and, in return, he recieved several rapid nods from the man.

"Good boy," Roach leaned forward to press a short kiss to Soap's lips, only letting the touch linger for a moment before pulling back.

He leaned away from Soap, just enough that he could get a hand between them. He let his fingers brush down Soap's chest, a sick amusement filling him as Soap tried to subtly lean into the touch. He trailed his hand down further and further until he could press his hand against the prominent bulge in his boyfriend's pants.

He took his time, offering a teasing massage of his hand over the other man. Soap's head tilted back, little gasps of pleasure leaving his mouth as Roach touched him. "God," Roach watched as his eyes closed and his mouth fell open. "You're so perfect. It feels so good."

Roach removed his hand at those words, causing Soap to lean back up and look down between them. Roach didn't touch him again, and he hardly paid him any mind. Instead, he let his hands lower to his own pants.

He wasted no time, swiftly undoing his belt, followed by the button and zipper of his trousers. He tucked his hand into his pants, stroking himself over his underwear for a long moment, letting Soap watch the movement of his hand and hear his little pants and moans.

"If only it was you touching me," Roach whispered the words, letting them sit heavily between them as he finally pulled his underwear down, pulling his hard cock out to let it rest between their bodies. The tip of his cock was resting against Soap's stomach and Roach could hear his boyfriend's stuttered breath.

"It could be me touching you," Soap managed to choke out. He and Roach gave a simultaneous groan as Roach wrapped a hand around himself, starting a slow rhythm with his hand. Roach noted the harsh grip that Soap had on the chair, clearly wanting to move and take over control of the situation.

Roach let himself fuck his fist, moving with slow but tight strokes over his cock. He felt unbelievably hot and he had to admit that having Soap underneath him, listening to whatever he said, it was so hot. It was meant to be a punishment and make the other realize what hecwas missing, but Roach found himself enjoying the desperate attention and pleas of the man underneath him.

"No, no," Roach sped his hand up, the feel of his hand on his heated skin was almost too much, "you clearly don't want to touch me." He leaned back, using Soap's desk to keep himself up and push himself that much further from Soap's touch. He tilted his head back as he sped his movements up, fucking his fist quicker with little jerks of his hips. "Fuck," he whined out.

"Roach," Soap gave a groan, "I'm sorry, really I-"

"You're not sorry," Roach cut him off, his voice a mix of harsh desperation. "You just want to touch." He brought his free hand up, slipping it under his shirt to toy with his nipples beneath the fabric. He could hear Soap's breath hitch at the move. "Is this what I have to do to get your attention?"

He flicked a finger over one of his nipples, trying to mimic the way that Soap would always tease him when they were together. It wasn't the exact same, but it was good enough for Roach, who happily groaned at the feeling. Every touch sent a spark down his spine that went straight to his aching cock. Every groan and desperate plea for him that left Soap's mouth followed a similar path, though they burned Roach with both pleasure and anger.

Several moments of silence lingered between the two, filled only with the sounds of Roach's pleasured moans and Soap's answering groans. Roach could feel how hard the man was underneath him, the length of him pressing against his ass. Roach gave himself a moment longer of just stroking over his cock before he finally started to rock his hips, grinding purposefully against the man beneath him.

Soap's own hips jolted up a bit, trying hard to seek some sort of relief to his own arousal. Roach allowed him the movement, knowing that it was next to nothing for the man beneath him. He knew that it would take Soap much more than the rocking pressure that he was offering. The man would only drive himself crazier. The thought made him feel a bit satisfied. Let Soap be the one craving his attention.

Their moans joined together, both of them panting and groaning as the temperature around them grew hotter and hotter. Roach sped up his hand, his legs beginning to shake just a bit as pleasure zipped up his spine and coiled tighter and tighter in his gut.

His skin felt hotter and hotter, and soon, he was jerking forward, burying his face into Soap's neck as it grew to be almost too much for him. He whined into Soap's neck, pressing desperate kisses there as he continued to fuck into his fist, the tip of his cock rutting up against Soap's shirt adding just an extra bit of pleasure.

"I miss you," he managed to choke out between his moans, "I miss you so much. Fuck I want- oh," he gave several open mouthed pants against Soap's shoulder. He could feel as one of Soap's hands moved away from the seat to grab at his hips, helping him continue to rock forward into his fist. He couldn't find it in himself to chide Soap at the moment, not when he felt an odd mix of anger, sadness, and overwhelming pleasure swarming together to create a cocktail of desire.

"I wish you would choose me over work," he managed to choke out after a moment, "I wish you'd pay attention to me."

There was no moment for Soap to respond. Roach was already too far gone, his mind fizzing out around the pleasure of his hand as his words devolved into nothing but chants of Soap's name. It only took him a few move moments before his body went completely tense, his cock jerking in his hand as pleasure washed over him and he came across Soap's stomach.

He collapsed fully against Soap's shoulder, a small whimper escaping his throat as his oversensative cock brushed against the other's now dirtied shirt. Soap helped him settle down fully into his lap. Neither of them said a word, even as Soap remained hard against Roach's thigh. They just sat there for several moments, wrapped up in the other.

Eventually, Roach pulled back and started to climb off of Soap and fix himself up. He tucked himself back into his pants and started to redo his belt

"Um," his voice cracked a bit, and he reached up to wipe at his face, already feeling as though tears were slipping down his face, "I'm gonna go back to the room. I'll see you when you get done?"

"Roach," Soap tugged him closer, reaching out to wrap around his waist and pull him closer. Roach placed his hands on Soap's shoulder and looked down at him, trying hard not to let too much show on his face. Soap met his eyes and held his gaze for a moment. "I am sorry."

"Soap," Roach started trying to tug himself away, but he was quickly pulled back by Soap.

"No," Soap tugged him back, "I really am sorry, okay? I didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't realize I was hurting you." He tucked Roach tight against him, holding him as close as he could. "It's not an excuse. I shouldn't have done it."

"It's fine," Roach muttered quietly. He brought a hand up to Soap's hair, petting through it for several moments as Soap laid a head on his chest. "I know work is important."

"Not as important as you," Soap whispered back. Roach felt himself go warm at the words, a fluttery feeling blossoming in his chest. Hearing those words made him feel good. It made him feel wanted. "I'll make this up to you."

Roach shook his head, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth, "Soap you don't have to-"

"I'm serious," Soap stood from his seat and pressed Roach back against the desk. "I'll take the entire day off, and I'll make the plans." He leaned forward to press a short kiss to the corner of Roach's mouth, "I won't even bring my phone. It'll be a day about just me and you. I'll give you all the attention that you deserve."

He pressed forward again, capturing Roach's mouth against his own in a slow kiss. Roach couldn't help but relax into the feeling, letting Soap work his magic with his mouth. It was calming to just let Soap press into him like this. "I would like that," Roach muttered against his lips. "I would really like that."

Soap pulls back and grabs Roach's hand in his own. "C'mon, let's go get something to eat. I can finish this stuff up tomorrow."

He starts tugging Roach toward the door, but Roach yanks back on his hand, stopping him. When he turns back to Roach with an eyebrow raised, he's met with a slight grin from the other. "Maybe we should both go change first? And take care of some other things."

Roach motioned down at Soap's body, toward the cum still staining his shirt and the very clear hard on that he still had. There was a moment of silence as Soap looked down at himself before he gave a quiet, "Ah," and looked back up to meet Roach's eyes. He watched for a moment as Roach tried to hide his laughter behind his hands. He could feel amusement pull at him as he took stock of the situation. "This is your fault you know."

Soap took a step toward Roach, a grin on his face. Roach gave another laugh into his hands and took another step back, "It absolutely is not."

"It is," Soap chimed. He started toward Roach with a grin, and Roach gave a nervous squeak before rushing back around the desk with a laugh, "You've got to help me with this, you know?"

"No, no," Roach tried to dodge around Soap, but he was quickly hauled back toward Soap and pressed closer to him again. He gave a laugh, completely uncaring as the cum on Soap's shirt transferred to his own. It already had once before, so he wasn't too worried. Instead, his attention was focused on the hard cock he could feel pressed against him.

"C'mon," Soap nipped at his neck, a grin clear to hear in his voice, "didn't you want my attention? You've got all of it now, Bug."

Roach did always enjoy Soap's attention.

[cody-paranatural]

I am afraid that Coby is setting himself up to be severely and devastatingly disappointed with his conclusions about his mom.

THAT BOY IS SETTING HIMSELF UP FOR SOOOOOO MUCH DISAPPOINTMENT <3 

I love Cody’s in-universe theory crafting So Much. I love how much he was able to piece together (he’s a clever little guy :] and a schemer. i say that with all the love in my heart btw) and also in the spirit of actual real life theory making how he completely missed the mark on some of his guesses. And it’s understandable!!!! It’s not like he knows his mom is a weird special werewolf that never changes back into a human. Because that’s straight up not how being a werewolf normally works and why would he assume his mom is an exception he doesn’t even know is possible. 

Something going wrong with Cody’s plan was pretty much inevitable the moment we found out about it, and I for one can’t wait to see how things turn out thanks to Cody’s several incorrect assumptions. And I LOVE how extremely confident he sounds about all of it. “The uncertainty was theater; he’d decided he was right.”; “Cody had no doubt in his deductions.”

Cody my boy, some doubt and uncertainty would do you good in the long run I think. It’s not very surprising though, since we see him make the exact same mistake before! Cody is a pretty capable 12 year old and he knows it, and that’s good! It’s good that he knows what his strengths are. The problem is that he gets so sure of himself that he ends up being overconfident and underestimating those around him. Like with hitball for example! 

Cody knows he’s good at this, he’s quite literally supernaturally good at sports. He’s so sure of his abilities that he told Hijeff that he has to go carry the team. And that overconfidence is how Dimitri, Max, RJ and Ollie got him in the end. Because if you look at Dimitri’s plan, how complicated that whole thing is, it becomes clear that Dimitri used Cody’s confidence against him. Like Dimitri was So Sure that Cody would easily dodge all the other throws (and he was right) and that Cody would get so caught up in the fact that he didn’t have much trouble with dodging them, including the one they made to look like their final one, that he would stop paying as much attention to his surroundings (and again. he was right). Which goes to show that this is a quite noticeable quality about Cody (though to be fair, Dimitri is very clever and seems to be quite good at picking up on these things (at least when he’s able to look at things somewhat objectively, Dimitri tends to let his feelings cloud his judgment.)). 

And that’s not even counting his thoughts “I’ll just slip through the cracks” and his little mind monologue from when he was about to get hit with the golden switch. It also ties into something else I really like about Cody, which is how similar he is to his dad and his absolute lack of self-reflection about any of it <3 Cody is obviously nowhere near as bad as Davy, but the similarities are there! And it makes sense since that’s just how kids work, they get influenced by the people around them. Like, Davy’s absolute trust in himself, his extreme confidence, those are things I’ve just discussed about Cody taken to their extremes. And the list goes on! Just look at Cody’s extreme protectiveness over his friends and his tendency to keep them in the dark. Or the fact that both Cody and Davy do the thing where they carefully control conversation in a way that lets them learn as much information as they can (we can see Davy do this on page 1 with Peter Puckett, and Cody mentions doing the same with LB and RB on page 47, Zack even used similar wording to describe what they did). Or their shared love for theatrics. I just find that so interesting and fun to think about! It’s great :] 

Also I am going to change the topic and talk about how EXCITED this update made me about future interactions between Jean and Cody. I had a mighty need to see these two interact ever since I subscribed to the “Shrike is Cody’s mom theory” and seeing that theory confirmed already made that excitement grow tenfold. But now? Now that we know that Shrike was faking her death for like 3-ish years (Zack confirmed on twitter that they were around the same age as in the first chapter 7 flashback, and based on Cody’s age I’m assuming that Jean, Rick and Mina were 13-ish when Shrike faked her death), and was watching him from the shadows. Now that we know that Jean was wrong in chapter 7 when he said “She would have come back for me, she would have!” (I love Paranatural mentor-mentee/parental figure-child relationships I love how adults never fail to let down the kids they’re supposed to be looking after I love how it all either stems from them prioritizing their own problems or pushing everyone away, thinking that keeping them in the dark is the best way to protect them I love how that secrecy just keeps causing problems for everybody. It's so good.), because she left, thinking she was doing the right thing. Like Jean thinks that the only reason she wasn’t with him is because she was stuck as a werewolf ever since whatever accident he was talking about in chapter 7. And we know that’s not true! And talking to Cody would make that Very Clear, since Cody more or less knows the date Shrike actually disappeared for good. Do you all see the vision. It’s gonna be GREAT.

[ante--meridiem]

Post is under the cut for typical Creepy Ex Landlord content but there's nothing new on that front, just me processing stuff that had happened while the situation was ongoing.

I've been half considering telling my new roommates the real reason I moved out from the previous place because I have reason to believe they'd be understanding and we've definitely reached the level of friendship where that kind of thing can be shared but I hesitate to even call it "sexual harassment" out loud and not on tumblr because to do so I have to interrogate whether I ever actually said no clearly and firmly enough, though at the end of the day I'm fairly confident I did and its failure to get through to him was him just not wanting to listen. I laid out my discomfort to him several times and he apologised and seemed really genuinely guilty/upset and I told him I didn't want him to apologise or feel bad I just wanted him to stop and then he'd go straight back to what he'd been doing before.

I guess what I'm stuck on though is, maybe it's just autistic inability to fully comprehend that people can be lying to me but his belief that he's done nothing seriously wrong or against my consent seems fully genuine. He seemed honestly hurt and confused when I blocked him as soon as I could because he'd really believed we'd still be ""friends"" after I moved out. There was this one time when he was telling me about a news article about a woman who got sexually assaulted and he was all wide-eyed I-just-don't-understand-how-people-could-do-that innocence about it and I truly understood what emotion the phrase "look into the camera like you're on the office" expresses, because really?

I'm pretty sure most of it runs on technicalities and plausible deniability because ok, if you do things without asking that you have plenty of reason to think I wouldn't be ok with then technically I didn't say no, and you can even be proud of yourself for stopping once I do get around to saying it. And if you plead and wheedle with me until I decide it's easier to give you what you want than keep arguing then technically I said yes. But what really throws me is how much he seemed to genuinely believe he was morally in the clear, rather than just having legalistic plausible deniability.

Like, by the end of it and by the time he found out my sexuality, even he couldn't convince himself that I secretly wanted him. Even before he'd found out, he'd mostly switched tack from "so what if you have a boyfriend, he can't tell you what to do" to "what's so wrong with me that you aren't attracted to me? :( I've been so nice to you :(" but he never seemed to have any level of cognitive dissonance over, if I had never had any shred of attraction to him and repeatedly expressed discomfort with him being sexual towards me, why I would have ""consented"" to all the things that I totally definitely freely consented to and he totally definitely never forced on me and pressured me into (please note heavy sarcasm). He really thought I'd stay friends with him, "friends" of course here meaning "we cannot have a conversation that stays for longer than five minutes on a topic other than him commenting on my appearance and asking me for pictures". Like, I get missing signals other people think are clear, but if I found out someone I'd thought was freely consenting to physical intimacy with me (giving him benefit of the doubt that he actually thought that) felt that way my reaction wouldn't be "too bad you're not attracted to me but we'll still be friends where I constantly talk about how pretty you are and what you should wear. I never pressured you into anything btw! Me going oh come on whenever you said no to me was just me being cute!", it would be "oh shit, did I pressure you? I'm so sorry and will leave you alone immediately if that's what you want." And then actually leave them alone.

And this "you cannot honestly believe you're innocent can you? If you really believe that maybe I somehow wasn't clear enough?" doubting on my side is all pretty standard stuff as these kind of situations go I'm pretty sure, and I feel reasonably confident most people would still take my side given full details, but at the same time... even on tumblr I see people making fun of the idea that you should ask verbal consent for every little thing as "puritanical", and while I'm reasonably sure those people are talking about "someone who's been flirting with you leans in for a kiss so you don't ask before going for it" situations and not, this whole thing, I can only think that Creepy Landlord had somehow convinced himself it was that kind of situation.

....anyways.

[etherealspacejelly]

hi dad, i'm having some internal conflict. i've always been a really anxious person (which is probably due to undiagnosed anxiety disorders) and i've never really "fit in." i've been treated as weird all my life. i've never understood tone and i get in a lot of trouble with my parents for this (even though i've explained i can't control it), i go nonverbal for brief periods of time occassionally, loud noises and bright lights cause me pain like extreme headaches, i always feel the need to follow self-created routines in order to feel safe, i don't understand social boundaries all too well, i intensely hyperfixate, i'm extremely hyperempathetic, etc. i've never understood why i'm the way i am. then i started learning more about autism and i think i may have it. many of my autistic friends seem to think so.

but my parents don't believe me and don't like me researching mental health stuff. they don't think i'm "autistic enough" because my mom used to work with autistic kids who were almost always nonverbal and on a more extreme end of the spectrum. i mask all the time too, as a defense mechanism since i get in so much trouble for misunderstanding. hell, my parents won't even get me an official anxiety diagnosis (even though i've had symptoms since the moment the signs can appear) because they think "labels don't matter."

and the big problem that comes along with this is, i don't want to self diagnose and seem disrespectful to diagnosed autistic people. i've done a lot of research and gotten a lot of opinions from neurodivergent people in my life, but i still feel fake because i have no access to a diagnosis. so many people have told me to try to get one and my parents completely refuse.

is it okay to self diagnose? will diagnosed people find this disrespectful? i'm not exactly sure how to go about this. it'll most likely be several years at best before i can get medically diagnosed.

tldr; i may be autistic but i have no access to a diagnosis and feel guilty about self diagnosing. any advice?

thank you and sorry if this was too vent-ish, i just wanted to see if you had any thoughts <3 feel free to ignore this ask if it's too overwhelming /gen

baby. honey. sweetpea. let me tell you something

autistic people actually dont care if you self diagnose. in fact, many of us are self diagnosed. diagnoses can be inaccessible for many reasons, and its perfectly understandable if you cant or dont want to get one

i can absolutely relate to you. my mum works with disabled kids too, and insisted that i couldn't be autistic because she "would have known". she considers herself an expert, but somehow missed all the signs in me. i guess because i am also quite high masking.

you definitely sound autistic to me, and if other neurodivergent people who know you agree then you probably are. autistic people can sense each other lol

i remember once when i friend of mine came to me and was like "hey btw im autistic" and i was like "yeah i know. you told me" and they were like. "um. no i couldnt have told you i only got diagnosed a few days ago and this is the first time we've spoken since then" and i was like. oh. i just Sensed it, you know? i just fuckin knew

so yes. you can self diagnose. thats perfectly fine. and if anyone tells you that you cant or that you're somehow "harming the autistic community" you can tell them to fuck off. self diagnosis does not harm the autistic community in any way, but it can really benefit people like you.

i hope someday you can get the accommodations you need and deserve. in the meantime, please give yourself grace. you're trying your best. and im proud of you, ok?