#btw I just made the starter this big for some context

[iceiclehorned]

starter for @frogprinceus

Walking graciously across one of Liyue's many open fields, the half-qilin finds herself enamoured by the views. It did not matter how many times her eyes had scanned the landmarks surrounding her favourite place to take a nap, there was no getting tired of the way the sun managed to keep its firm glaze over the greenery, an eager participant of photosynthesis. As her role as a secretary became her everything, finding time to spend by herself had become increasingly difficult. By all means, she had wanted this herself, but with the harder she worked, the more she questioned who she was without the work clouding any intruding thoughts. As she lay across the warm floor of the earth, her mind slowly slipped into a coma of nothingness, unallowing for anything to interrupt the much needed rest.

Any problems that had been weighing her down previously would hold no meaning until she woke up.

Hours pass before she stirrs awake, rubbing away any sleep from her eyes. It would not be long before she would be needed once again, after all. Opening those violet eyes, it would take a moment to dawn on her that this was not at all where she had initially found respite. With hesitancy, she found herself standing, a slight shake of her wrist as her mind fills itself with images of unseen-before land. A large cliff that lacked mother nature's gentle touch stood prominent, with the carvings of four faces of men, and one a woman. Her mouth falls open, almost admiring the work that had been promoted. The land beneath it was beautiful and vibrant, and it did not take long before she had taken note of the bustling village that seemed to live comfortably underneath.

It appeared that the village is where she would seek answers first.

Within mere moments of making it to the front gates, she knew that she was far from Teyvat. "Kono... hagakure?" Her voice calls out, remembering the name of said village from a signpost she had read while on her journey forward. It only seemed to sink further in that this was really happening, and there would be no easy way to untangle herself from the mess she had seemingly gotten into through no obvious means.

The gates had been left unattended, presenting the opportunity for the secretary to walk straight through without being interrogated. She figured that, if she could reach whoever was in charge around here and explain her situation, then she might just be able to find a way back to Liyue. Though, there was no denying the wondrous landscape of the place, a surge from within taking a liking to this newfound land. Would it be so wrong for her not to rush back? The waves of people walking along the unpaved streets, friendly conversations being exchanged at market stalls and children freely running around? It was not unlike the place she called home in retrospect.

Upon the first instance her gaze lands on a rather well-built man, with a mess of white hair that was tied back in a ponytail, she found herself feeling both safe and intrigued. Taking a few steps toward the man, she found herself towered over, her hand gently moving to tap his arm.

“E—excuse me? Do you know where I could find… the person in charge?”

[erikatsu]

hello eris !! i saw your post about losing feelings for a blorbo and read you saying the fandom ruined blade for you? can i ask why? because honestly i dont know if i‘m into hsr that much either 😭 like in the beginning its been nice but i recently saw a big decrease in players and fic writers (accept the usual ones that i still love reading from btw!!) but its not the same anymore🥲🙇🏽‍♀️

ofc you can! for starters, a LOT of writers in the fandom i shouldn’t say are exclusive but i definitely felt excluded by who i tried to become friends with. it felt really cliquey? that’s always bothered me bc i didn’t do anything to them but oh well i guess 💀 (ider who they were now bc it was months ago and i have depression brain) on top of that some of these creators were not subtle with being competitive and idk writing isn’t a competition? so while i have ofc my friends to talk ab him with, i didn’t have like a mutual blade lover to also gush ab him with.

but another thing was renfeng shippers– twitter majorly i dont think ive seen anyone here but i remember when people were saying baiheng was the beloved (before it was confirmed) and they were literally being attacked for it and being called homophobic when it turns out they were right. i’ve even seen people being dragged for shipping kafblade (and as a kafblade shipper it was very 🥲 for me to see). im not even really a shipper so when i do find a ship i like, its rare. there’s context there for every ship yet people run wild with any possible renfeng crumb. idk why we cant let people ship what they want in peace especially bc multi-shipping is a thing. like i said though, thats a twitter thing but it still kills the vibe

the final thing that i think really sealed it though was the grip wriothesley from genshin has me in NSISKSKA. tbh thats the biggest part of it but instead of just putting him to the side all the other things literally made me look at him the other day and just go “:/”. and that’s very different for me bc i can still go from talking about wriothesley to kaeya to itto to dainsleif without any issues

[c0rpsedemon]

hiiii can u please advise me on where to start with reading arthuriana ? i am fascinated by it and love it very much , but i just read arthurian encyclopedias and such … i would like to read actual texts if that makes sense . thank u :-)

!!!!!! don't worry you make perfect sense and i'd absolutely love to give you a few starter text recommendations, i'm going to link ways to read all of them online bc physical copies are uh. incredibly hard to come by for most texts. also, brace yourself for fifty wildly different variants of each name, usually there's some sort of appendix you can read to know who's who, or you can rely on context clues.

first off i legally have to recommend the byelorussian tristan bc it's. kinda a part of my brand. and my favorite book... ever, even outside of arthurian stuff. it's believed to be one of, if not the last entry in the arthurian canon, and certainly in the tristian canon, and it's so good. it's a retelling of a lost slavic text that was a retelling of tavola ritonda, the italian retelling of the prose tristan. it's really well-written and the only version of the tristan and isolde story where they both get to live, highlights include galehalt basically asking tristan to join his marriage (i say marriage in reference to his relationship with lancelot bc theyre kinda. uh. bfs would be an understatement), palomydes having two swords (it's bc he's That skilled at fighting and also bc he's bisexual) as well as lending one of those swords to tristan, galahad briefly showing up to fight tristan and lancelot, then getting embarrassed that he fought his dad and just? dying or something?? and the worst kei name variant out there (geush.....). overall, i have to recommend this one bc if it had been my starter text i know i would have immediately read every medieval text i could find, and bc it's the text that actually made me like tristan.

also i'd like to note that tavola ritonda, the byelorussian tristan's italian predecessor is pretty good if i remember correctly, i never finished it bc i got busy with school stuff but i know i liked what i did read of it and that a lot of arthurian tumblr would recommend it. if i wasn't on green knight lockdown i'd probably pick it back up right now.

other tristan-related recs include chevrefoil by marie de france, it's incredibly short and makes me kinda sad for unknown reasons, it's also what got me invested in tristan and isolde's relationship, strassburg's tristan, yet another text i started and then dropped bc of school related reasons, i remember i liked what i read of it though, trystan and esyllt, a welsh tristan and isolde text which is. incredibly different from the normal tristan and isolde story, but it's short, lighthearted and fun in the way welsh texts are, and uhhhh the prose tristan which i mentioned earlier, i've read the whole thing and it didn't really stand out to me (albeit its been a while) but it's what most people will point you to if you want to get into tristan and isolde.

stepping away from tristan and isolde, there's culwch and olwen, which is believed to be the first arthurian text, it's kinda short and fun in the way that welsh texts always are, it's about this kid whose stepmother cursed him to only be able to marry the daughter of this giant, who will never let her marry bc there's some curse that says he'll die on her wedding day, so the giant gives this giant list of impossible tasks and arthur, culwch, kei and co. set out to do them and only like. 3. are actually mentioned more than once. it's fun and i like welsh kei.

next are the dutch texts which are. so good. they're so good. they're all right here bc i don't feel like linking each different one. my first rec is lancelot and the hart with the white foot, which, despite being named after lancelot, is really about gawaine. it's short and fun and the remarkable (lancelot x gawaine) fans adore it. next is the roman van walewein which is. absolutely off the rails. basically this magic chessboard shows up in arthur's court and walewein (gawaine) has to go after it, he ends up murdering a bunch of people, there's a talking fox who tries to steal gawaine's armor, gawaine gets thrown in his love-interest-of-the-week's torture dungeon, which has a secret tunnel connecting it to said love interest's rooms which she apparently had the arcitect of drowned (which is treated like a perfectly fine and normal thing by the text btw) where they presumably do bdsm or something, gringolet (gawaine's horse) kills a dragon with his hooves, it's wild. then there's walewein ende keye, kei tries to get rid of gawaine, gawaine goes and proves his honor, kei gets banished, gawine's a bit of an unlikable prick in this one but it's entertaining. and then there's morien, it's about this 13 year old who shows up looking for his deadbeat dad and gawaine and lancelot help him out, gawaine hijacks the plot but it gets back to morien by the end, also they have to rescue arthur. there are more dutch texts but these are just my favorites.

this has gotten longer than i originally intended so uhhh there's lanval by marie de france which is short. guinnevere's homophobic but in a funny way.

then there are the big famous ones and why they're bad starter texts, le morte de arthur and sir gawain and the green knight. le morte's giant and in middle english, if you must read it go for a translation, i've heard good things about this one but i haven't read it, overall it's not that good, especially in comparison with the vulgate and alliterative morte, don't read it unless you're already familiar with med lit and really invested in the characters, it's good for the book of gareth and a few short parts but overall kinda eh. as for sgatgk, it's just not a good first gawaine text bc he's so wildly different than he is in literally everything else, here are a ton of translations, it's best to go into it with the point of view that it was his first quest and looking for the themes and symbolism (gawaine fox motif my beloved) instead of the common approach which is looking for the gay kisses bc you'll get a lot more out of it that way.

i'd also like to anti recommend a solid 3/4s of modern arthuriana, especially anything derived from the *nce and f*ture k*ng by th wh*te or the m*sts of av*lon by m*rion z*mmer br*dley bc jfc those two have done. so much harm. to the genre. "modern" works i'd recommend usually tend more towards victorian poetry, highlights including anything by tennyson that doesn't involve tristan and isolde bc he has bad takes on them, but especially his stuff regarding elayne of astolat/the lady of shallot, bedevere, and gareth and lynnette, as well as everything by william morris but especially sir galahad a christmas mystery and palomydes's quest. you can find pretty much any victorian poem on the camelot project so i'm not going to go looking for them. also i've heard good things about ea robinson's poetry. but despite the few good modern works out there, it's best to get rid of all pop-culture based notions of what arthuriana is before you go into the actual canon.

i feel like i'm going to remember at least three texts i left out like an idiot but this has gotten long enough, if you have anymore questions just ask i absolutely love introducing people to arthuriana.

[allthingsfern]

More info about my reason for choosing my Sony a7r3

So, @mirzans​, replied to my “From my own experience switching from Nikon DSLR to Sony mirrorless,“ asking about why I did not choose a Nikon Z camera, which is a great question and something I should have explained/added to my post: context. It is important to know when I bought my a7r3 and what my choices were.

Here goes.

I bought my Sony a7r3 back in December of 2017, on the 26th, to be exact. Sony, at the time, was the mirrorless full frame leader and neither Nikon nor Canon had yet released their equivalent mirrorless cameras. After much research, I wound up deciding between the D850 or a7r3. BTW, there were a couple of Fujis I liked, but none was full frame; yes I strongly considered the Fujifilm GFX 50S, which was almost twice as much as the D850 and the a7r3 but had 50 mp (the D850: 45.7mp; a7r3: 42.4). However, from my research, it was rated as a good camera, but more for a studio setting, and did not autofocus as highly rated as either of my 2 final choices, plus the a7r3 was celebrated for its uniquely accurate, for that time, eye recognition focus. So, when I walked into Mike’s Camera, I knew it was either the D850 or the a7r3. Let me add that in 2017, Sony was making big (mostly) positive news with its a7r3. The previous 2 a7r models were promising, but had issues like overheating and horrendous battery life, but the a7r3 had improved on those issues and was then highly recommended. At about the same time that year, Nikon’s D850 was being celebrated as a great improvement of the already superb D800.

A little background about my camera ownership history may be useful here, too, so all y’all understand why I was looking at Nikon and Fuji, and not Canon or any other brand, well, except Sony.

In 2012, I bought my D50 used form a friend. It was already 5 years old at the time. I owned 2 SLRs before that, in the mid 70s and early 90s. Both were cheap, no-name cameras and my photography sucked shit through a brick, but not because of my cameras. I just never bothered to really learn photography, thinking it was just a matter of liking the way something looked and then taking a picture of it.

Oy vey.

However, I owned my baby, my D50, for 4 years. Then I bought a new Nikon D3500 w/ a used 24-200mm lens (sorry, I cannot recall which one, but it was highly recommended by Ken Rockwell and was a great lens)  a lower end starter Nikon DSLR and a used Fuji X100s. I absolutely loved both cameras. Since I figured that I was going to be trading up to a more complex model and I would, in effect, have to learn a new camera system, I knew I wanted to stick with Nikon and Fuji. And yes, Canon and other makes are good to great as well, but I figured I would stick with what I knew.

Except for the Sony. But really, since I needed to learn a new system, I figured I would go to the camera store and give them a feel, then make up my mind.

Now, to a certain degree, the D850 was slightly ahead because earlier in 2017 I got to use a D800 for a photo shoot for work. It was set up for me (the studio was ready for me, all I had to do was point and shoot; it was a special project that I got permission to do the photography for and, sadly, the portraits never were used) and let me tell you, as soon as I grabbed that D800, the ergonomics, the familiar feel, were perfect. That was one sexy camera, at least to me. Still is.

However, when i walked into Mike’s and held the even heftier d850, it also felt good, familiar, but as soon as I held the a7r3, even before I raised it to my face and looked through the viewfinder, I knew it was the one for me. It felt right and was lighter, and with the advanced eye focus, my decision was made immediately. And as I mentioned in my previous post, my camera guy soon realized I knew the specs and was looking at the 2 best choices for me, so he just left me alone and only was there to provide support, if I requested any.

Now, I believe that things are meant to happen, that time and Life give us signs that we are going in the right direction. And when I bought that first a7r3, I wanted the recently released 24-105mm f/4 G Sony lens. If I recall, it had just started shipping in late November, early December, so it was hard to get. And Mike’s had just one, that was pre-ordered, but the person who ordered it did not pick it up, and since it was sitting in the store (and not paid for) for about 2 weeks and was hard to get, my camera guy decided to sell it to me.

Talk about meant to be.

And yes, for any of you who know me who are reading this, I did get all teary eyed and freaked out a bit. I was able to drop so much money on camera equipment because a friend had recently died and left me enough money to pay off half my student loans, my almost $40K in credit card debt, and buy the cameras. (I did not mention I have 2 a7r3 bodies and a lens for each one: the 24-105mm f/4 and the Zeiss 55mm f1.8 made for Sony.) To me, the whole changing lenses thing is crazy making and as a professional photographer friend of mine said (my coworker who was the staff photographer and was always willing to talk about camera gear and was very supportive), I should have a zoom and a prime, and since I could afford the 2 bodies, I should just fucking get them. No regrets.

And to add to the “meant to be” coincidences of that day I bought my first a7r3 and the 24-105mm, while I was paying for the camera and my camera guy was explaining several perks and deals and things Mike’s Camera offered, he mentioned that there was a Sony mirrorless workshop, given by a Sony expert, coming up on January 19, 2018 at the store. That was when I knew my camera purchase was the right thing to do, since that was the anniversary of my friend’s death and I already planned to visit their grave site that day, but the workshop was at night and I could do both.

And fuck, yes, again I got all teary eyed there at the counter of Mike’s Camera.

Finally, you know that friend of mine who was the staff photographer at work, the one who was so supportive and helpful? And, BTW, who actually has a degree in photography? Well, after about a year of my buying my a7r3, I showed him some photos I took handheld at 1/30 sec in very low light w/ high ISO. He was so impressed with the quality of the images, that he ordered an a7r3 and a couple lenses for work. I think he got the 24-70mm GM and the 70-200mm GM, both f/2.8 and both with stabilization, and either the 85mm or 135mm GM. He wound up using the a7r3 for events and outdoor shoots and kept the D800 for studio portraits. That D800 is such a cool camera. But then again, I have another friend who owns a Canon 5D (also a pro photographer) and it is awesome, too.

Anyway, sorry I shared so much, @mirzans. Guess you can tell I just love this shit.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Andy on Asian Animation or SYAC: The Master Review 2

Let’s talk a bit about anime and Dobson’s work relation with it.

I think we can all agree, that starting from the late 90s and early 2000s on, anime and manga became extremely popular in the western world. Sure, Japanese animation was nothing completely new to us (Speed Racer, Nadia-Secret of Blue Water, Samurai Pizza Cats, Sailor Moon, Kimba and Akira e.g. come to my mind as properties already known in the west before 1995) but it really was around this time that thanks to “mainstream” stuff like Dragon Ball and Pokemon people became aware of how different Japanese animation was from western. Eventually resulting in the really good shit (like Cowboy Bebop, Black Lagoon, Kenshin and Heat Guy J) coming over and enriching nerd culture for more than just a few people who knew of it as an obscurity at that point. Now, if you know anything about Dobson, you likely know that his relationship with anime is rather… complicated to say the least. Or, to let him explain it with his own words…

Dobson essentially likes silly and wacky 90s anime. But later on he hated anime in general, because it got too popular and a bad experience with an anime club in college soured his enjoyment of it. Furthermore, he put the blame on his lackluster art style and storytelling capabilities as seen in the likes of Formera, Patty and Alex ze Pirate, on anime in general, while also claiming that Disney pulling the plug on 2D animation is the result of the “anime inspired” Treasure Planet, meaning anime in a sense deprived him of his chance at working at his dream job and “ruining” western animation.

Which to me has always been ignorant as fuck. For starters, I can understand not liking certain stories or genres, either for objective or subjective reasons. But to hate on an entire nation’s form of entertainment (not just individual shows or genres), depriving yourself of the chance of potentially watching a lot of good stuff while also being rather insulting to these other works and people enjoying them? Especially when the stuff you can supposedly “stomach” has been rather simplistic compared to other things?

 Second, blaming Japan for “poisoning” your art style? What, did the ghost of Osamu Tezuka possess you and FORCE you to put sweatdrops on your characters forehead while also going for the rather simplistic character style of Rumiko Takahashi, as well as emulating the slapstick of the likes as Slayers and Ranma ½?

 Next, if he had emulated them successfully, I say he would have actually managed to tell decent enough stories worth to read online. Not create Uncle Peggy aka “Discount Happosai” or the bland proto-Isekai known as Formera.

I mean, let’s give some context here: There have been people who successfully managed to emulate certain anime and manga aesthetics into western animation and make it work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten the likes of Avatar-The last Airbender, Samurai Jack, the Animatrix, Thundercats 2011, Super Robot Monkey Hyperforce Go, Kim Possible, W.I.T.C.H, Megas XLR and Wakfu. You know, shows that are actually awesome as hell.

Heck, Dobson’s favorite animated show of the last decade, Steven Universe, is heavily inspired by anime aesthetics to the point of being embarrassing.

 But Dobson… well, he emulated anime aesthetics in his work the same way as these crimes against animation did.

Combined with his general shortcomings as a storyteller it is no wonder his initial comics did not do well.

 Lastly, and sorry for digressing here a bit, but if the Wikipedia entry on Treasure Planet is something to go by, there was no real inspiration by anime involved in making this movie.

Supposedly the idea of making an animated Treasure Planet in outer space movie was already pitched by Ron Clements WAY BACK in 1985 but only came to be after Michael Eisner greenlighted stuff in the late 90s. Design wise the movie was supposed to look 70% traditional and 30% sci-fi inspired and people took inspiration for the art style by illustrators associated with the Brandywine School of Illustration. A western style of illustration established in the 19th century, that had a big impact on the illustration styles for many 19th and early 20th century adventure novels and short stories.

What, is anime supposed to be the only form of animation allowed to have sci fi elements or steampunk in it? Fucks sake, The Lion King and Atlantis, which came out one year earlier to Treasure Planet, were likely more inspired by anime. Don’t believe me? Watch Atlantis and then a certain anime by Studio Gainax called “Nadia-Secret of Blue Water”. Or read up on the controversy surrounding the two.

The truth is, it is not entirely clear what caused Disney to shut down 2D feature film animation in the early 2000s. In fact, if anything, most people put the blame on Michael Eisner and a certain change in the publics taste in movies in general, combined with Disney trying to turn almost every movie they had into a franchise via cheap follow up movies on video and DVD.

And even if Disney did not shut down, are we really supposed to believe that a certain guy with fedora would have made it big at Disney to the point Alex ze Pirate would have been made into a feature film?

But Dobson could never quite understand this and instead of “reinventing” himself properly, he would rant about anime and its fans in one form or another…

 And on the peak of his hissy fit create this little art piece he baptized Anime Sux. Alternatively “West vs East”. Or as I like to call it, slap a jap.

Now, the pic was done in 2008 and Dobson claimed sometimes in the last decade, that he no longer holds his old opinions. Unfortunately, by that point he would also more or less use the chance to vent in his webcomic about anime (or rather its fans), which brings us finally back to SYAC.

 While Dobson never outright thematized in more detail WHY he hates anime and manga in SYAC (likely cause if his comic reasoning was even slightly like his reasoning in his blogs, people would have torn him apart like a bag of paper) he did use the format to punch down on anime fans and their preferences.

 For example, for someone who has a 4chan story going around of having been rather arrogant towards others in college for not liking Ranma ½, Dobson has THIS little college related comic to show off, where he portrays an aspiring manga artist as a delusional jackass.

Then in this strip titled manga, his manga fan is essentially portrayed as a young woman dressing up like a very stereotypical high school anime girl, who is in the wrong for even just DARING to draw her comics in the direction manga are read.

On one hand, I get Dobson’s point. She could be at risk of alienating a market of readers as she is obviously drawing for a western audience. Then again, if she doesn’t draw a traditional western comic but a manga, why shouldn’t she? I mean, as long as she enjoys it, which I assume she does as she seems genuinely just happy when stating that she likes manga, why not let her? Plus, this comic was drawn in the late 2000s. I think by then most people kinda knew how to read from right to left, so Dobson’s claim she would alienate or confuse people is kinda redundant. If anything I find a) Dobson getting angry at her just very petty (just let her have fun) and b) portraying a western manga fan as someone who would be confused by the sheer idea of reading stuff from right to left is also in itself just really dumb and insulting. What is Dobson trying to imply? That anime fans are so stuck in the way they consume certain media, they can’t act according to “western standards” again?

Then there is this strip where yet another female anime fan is essentially portrayed as the embodiment of how “ignorant” manga fans are of the idea of different art styles...

Which becomes rather laughable once Dobson describes his style as a mixture of European, American and  Japanese. Why? Because he is the one oversimplifying things, rather than the anime fan.

You see while anime and manga of all sorts do share certain aesthetics (like the black and white art style, emphasize on the eyes of characters, the way hair is drawn, recurring tropes within certain genres and so on) style wise (both in art and storytelling) there can be severe differences, depending on the artist alone. Akira Toriyama’s style differentiates significantly from the likes of Eichiro Oda, Rumiko Takahashi, Kentaro Miura, Tezuka, Kaori Yuki and so forth.

The same also goes for many western artists. Herge had a significantly different style from Uderzo and Goscinny. Don Rosa has a different style in which he drew Scrooge McDuck than Carl Barks did. Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee draw mainstream superheroes differently compared to how Jack Kirby, George Perez and others did. Heck, Ethan Van Sciver and Jim Lee were closely associated with Green Lantern in the 2000s and look how they differentiate.

 Which btw is the kind of skill level Dobson would have needed to have, to make it in the mainstream industry

So when Dobson says “I draw in a combination of American, Western and Japanese” all I can think is the following: THAT DOESN’T NARROW IT DOWN! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU LEARNT IN COLLEGE ABOUT COMICS? WHICH ARTISTS, WORKS AND STORYTELLERS DO YOU TRY TO EITHER EMULATE OR HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY?

Then there is this little thing…

Where do I even begin? How about the fact that Dobson’s hand in the last panel looks like he has lost a thumb? The fact that the little boy, anime fan or not, is aware of Sae Sawanoguchi, a character from a short lived OVA and anime series from the 90s, which considering his age, I kinda doubt he would be aware off. Unlike Dobson, who got into anime in the 90s and admits in fact within the posts I loaded up earlier, that he had watched the anime in particular, known in the west as Magic User Club.

Then there is the implication by Dobson, that anime is so “corruptive” as a medium, little kids don’t even know the most basic characters in western animation because of it. I expect in a next panel, that all of sudden some 50s PSA guy comes along and lectures me that if I want this kind of thing not to happen at MY convention, I need to teach little kids more about the GOOD western animation, instead of the BAD eastern one. Then there is this rather unflattering portrayal of a shonen ai/shojou ai fangirl…

 Which makes me laugh cause honestly, even some of the worst shonen ai and shojou ai can do better in portraying a “realistic” gay relationship than Patty if you ask me.

Also, as much as I think fangirls can be extremely thirsty (I have read my fair share of extremely stupid yaoi and yuri fanfics) I think that in hindsight Dobson is really not anyone to complain about shipping obsession and sex when he himself has KorraSami, the Ladybug fandom and a certain rat pirate under his floppy belt.

As you can imagine, Dobson would get heat for those comics, considering how he himself has been greatly inspired by anime and manga for his major comics. And while I don’t have any explicit deviantart posts of him reacting to criticism in that regard, I do have this comic which addresses it directly.

 And yeah, if I were schoolgirl number 4, I would just sigh and walk away after telling Dobson that his mistakes and shortcomings are not related to having consumed anime, but rather by what sort of anime (and other stories) he had consumed and the amount of effort he had put in creating his stories instead of emulating just something more popular. Plus, if you really want people to draw more from life, how about drawing more from life yourself down the line? And no, tracing Star Wars movie frames does not count.

Finally, Dobson, considering how very little most people think of your work, I say mission accomplished: People have learnt from your mistakes and know not to be a Dobson.

And at last, there is this comic, which kinda wraps up Dobson’s “vendetta” with anime and manga fans within the pages of SYAC.

By trying to mock anime fans and make them look just as shallow as he is. I at least suppose. Honestly, the message of this comic is rather muddled. On one hand, I would say the strawman accusing Dobson hates anime just because it is popular is very simplified. After all, Dobson has made his reasons for not liking anime clear in a few more details. It’s just that the details in and on themselves in real life are still rather shallow and boil down to a lot of personal bias rather than an objective criticism of actual flaws. Which I think is worth pointing out.

But frankly, what is Dobson trying to say or point out here? That the strawman is not so different or even dumber than him, because he hates Justin Bieber for “shallow” and superficial reasons too?

Okay, this doesn’t quite work as well as Dobson wants. First, the argument Dobson’s strawman makes is in huge parts based on some verified statements Dobson made for not liking anime. Second, he just says a name and that triggers the guy to express his hatred for Bieber. We don’t know why the guy hates Bieber and you could make in fact the case, that he hates him not because he is popular, but because he has a genuine issue with the artist, his work or his behavior as a human being. Third, if you want to make yourself look like the better person Dobson, try to argue with the guy and make solid arguments why you don’t like anime. Instead you just deflect the criticism by changing the subject and then try to make yourself look like the “smarter” person in the room by mocking your critic in the most condescending manner.

Which as I think about it, sounds like your modus operandi on twitter and tumblr.

Weirdly enough, that more or less marks the “end” of Dobson tackling anime fans and the beef he has with them within the pages of SYAC. Despite how much Dobson’s negative reputation especially in early years was build around him hating on anime and belittling its fans, he didn’t really do more afterwards in the Dobson focused pages of SYAC. And mind you, those strips were also separated by other strips in-between, focused on Dobson just being at conventions.

Unfortunately for him, the strips didn’t really help in any way to diminish that negative reputation and instead just confirmed for many, that Dobson can’t handle criticism about his flawed opinion on anime. If anything, it just made people think even less of Dobson, as the strips just painted him as someone who would rather portray his critics as strawman he can be “rightfully” annoyed at, instead of fellow humans with slightly different tastes in entertainment, who are still worth listening to.

So, now that we have the anime fan related “annoyances” out of the way, what other sort of silly problems in making webcomics would Dobson cover in his strips and are “relatable” to everyone?

Lets see some of these examples in the next part.

[50shadesofmittens]

As a self-indulgent extension of my very, very long ramble on Kitten’s True Name...

I wanted to put a little bit of context for what this means in the context of my fanfic, Three Times They Don’t, where I assume my theory about Kitten’s true identity to be true (please read that first). So far this only includes what’s been published, ‘cause everything unpublished is up in the air until it’s published.

That said, in the fanfic, you can assume Kitten has read Prospero Burns at some point. That won't be relevant until the first chapter and has very little to do with what I’ve written so far.

What I’ve written so far incorporates the theory in a few ways. For one, the prologue takes place the night after the Triumph of Ullanor- something Magnus lampshades. When he mentions having met Kitten before, he’s talking about the scene that got a comic here, although in the fanfic I personally don’t interpret that scene as flirting on Magnus’ part.

Haedo’s name was taken from the book A Thousand Sons as well, and his one personality trait was given based on his brief appearance in that book and in the Blood Games short story. Namely, the fact that the man was willing to throw down with Dorn.

I made the decision to use a balcony for their meeting spot for three to five reasons- One, we know from official artwork that the Citadel built for the Triumph had balconies big enough to put a Primarch on them, and that those balconies had overhangs. Two, the entrance to a balcony can, and in this case I’m going to say is placed inside of another room, giving me an excuse for Magnus to be alone. The balcony leads to a room in the citadel, and Magnus’ honor guard are waiting just outside of that room’s entrance. Three, as explained in the fic a balcony is a good spot for hyper-paranoid guards to keep a lookout while staying hidden (as any talented assassins or threats would search for and avoid any obvious lookout posts, you need to have hidden lookouts scattered throughout the citadel to be effective.)

Fourth, it’s a dumb romance cliche for lovers to have a balcony scene, and fuck it, I love playing with dumb romance cliches, just for the hell of it. As the 1/2 of a ‘time they didn’t,’ it’s doubly fun since A) I like the irony of these two having their personal relationship begin platonically with a balcony scene, and B) any AU where they do initiate a relationship beginning from divergence during this scene gets a little bit of cheesy romantic fun added to it. Fifth and finally, I can set up jokes for later by having Amon be totally chill about swinging on and off huge-ass structures like this with relative ease. ‘Cause those overhangs are not designed for the kind of movement I describe in my fic, and I like the idea that it took a lot of skill and agility to perch on the overhang the way I have the Custodians do, and a lot more skill for Amon to climb down to the balcony as quickly and as fluidly as my writing implies. Especially in armor. Amon’s narrative is very simplistic about the activity because he himself is completely nonchalant about his gymnastics, which lets me set up future jokes about Amon being completely unimpressed by his own strength and not understanding why people are amazed when he does things which are mundane to him. Also, if I don’t have to spend three paragraphs describing how the architecture makes this kind of maneuvering difficult and how Amon pulls it off anyways, I don’t run the risk of boring my readers to tears with too much detail.

The final thing to note is that with this scene added to the cannon context of Amon believing that Magnus mind-controlled and possessed him, he comes to have even more personal issues with Magnus once the entire thing with Amon-daemon goes down. For one, Kitten-Amon comes to the conclusion that Magnus was definitely trying to recruit him for some nefarious plot during the balcony thing. That he was foolish for talking to him at all, and that it was dumb to ever think for even a moment there was anything but politics and power grabs behind their interactions. That he failed to stay true to his loyalty and his purpose as a Custodian, and that in talking to Magnus he did betray the Emperor, and practically invited his own possession (which is 100% bs btw, but characters can't always have healthy or accurate self-reflection). All of which pales in comparison to the kind of things that would occur during the ten-thousand years of imperial silence, but I fully plan to bring this entire scenario up later (much later) in Three Times They Don’t.

Now for stuff that I intended, but didn’t get written down and thus can be used or ignored at the reader’s will:

Something I didn’t have time or space to include was direct context for Magnus being out on the roof. I had this whole idea where Magnus and Mortarion came to heads during the festivities, and though they didn’t start anything in semi-public (ie their father’s presence), Magnus at least left the scene feeling frustrated and annoyed. Rather than going back to his pyramid, which would’ve been made public, he tried to find somewhere private to brood- hence the balcony. He actually did notice the Custodians, but he was feeling so self-absorbed in his internal pity party he forgot they were there until they moved to make a report.

As for why he initiated a conversation with Kitten, well, Heresy-era Magnus is often characterized as trying to be humble and open-minded by practicing the theory of those traits without comprehending the greater picture of the concepts. He understands- or thinks he understands- on an intellectual level how a truly wise man would feel about the situation he’s in, but when his emotions flare up they reveal that he’s unable to practice what he preaches.

So after spending some time brooding about Mortarion, he’s exactly the kind of person who’d realize only after an interruption that he’s being unfair and exaggerating Mortarion’s bad traits. The kind of person who’d know he should stop thinking about how much his brother sucks, but who lacks the emotional control to stop, and with enough self-awareness to know that he should find something to do to get his mind away from his brooding. And the kind of person too proud to go back to the festivities while he’s still licking his wounds, and also too proud to acknowledge that he’s ignoring that possibility.

So to Magnus, the best thing to do is find something that can distract him from his thoughts, without requiring him to return to where his sons are undoubtedly hovering just a few hallways away, anxiously waiting for him to return. He might’ve brought a book with him, but look- people completely unrelated to the issues on his mind. People he can start up a conversation with, and possibly use to distract himself. And hey, he’s already got a conversation-starter with one of them that might not be awkward as fuck to use.

There’s one “third part” to my trilogy of posts, which is coming soon- a list of pre-heresy romance AU’s that are not going to be used for Three Times They Don’t, and the various ways this scene can be modified and played out to match the AU.

[terramythos]

My reread commentary on October Daye #8, "The Winter Long" or "more shit goes down in this book than the first 7 combined, holy shit".

I apologize to anyone who reads these cause I literally hit the length limit on this post and had to pare it down lmao 

-Good start: Under the Acknowledgements section: "Everything I have done with October's world to this point has been for the sake of getting here". Sooo basically the first 7 books? Setup for this one. We're in for a Ride.

I want to emphasize some of the best meta foreshadowing I've seen:

FOR REFERENCE, Rosemary and Rue is the title of book 1. It's also the only book whose opening Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet) doesn't really match the title. If you know your Shakespeare, you probably would have caught that and figured out that it was from The Winter's Tale instead. Plenty of conclusions you can draw just from that. Since then the series has been chock full of hidden identities, and this book has two BIG ones coming into play. Foreshadowing was here from the very fucking beginning, and it is some next level shit. Very well done.

-If you skipped book 1 you are SO fucked, btw.

- we're going to great lengths to describe Sylvester's physical appearance. Gee I wonder why. I'm sure it's not relevant

- yes Sylvester has FOX COLORED HAIR and YELLOW EYES and his magic smells like DAFFODILS and DOGWOOD FLOWERS. He is Toby's LEIGE and FATHER FIGURE.

Me on a first read: oh it's just beginning book exposition, they all do this

Me on a second read: god fucking damn it

- toby: I should have known Sylvester would never disappoint me.

Me: oh sweetie. Oh honey.

- "He smelled like smoke and rotten oranges.

This man wasn't Sylvester Torquill."

Anyone who read book 1: OHSHIT.AVI

Welcome back, Simon! You know, Sylvester's evil twin? You know, the big bad (so far) of the series? The the one responsible for turning Toby into a fish for 14 years?

-Yet he seems kinda... off, huh? Comments about how he didnt know the spell would last 14 years, how he hates to upset October's mom, of all people? Whatever could he mean? :)))

-New toby power: spell reflection? Hell yeah? Also spell BREAKING, but to be fair she did do that one other time. In, you guessed it, book 1.

- "When I tried to picture Sylvester's face, I kept seeing Simon's instead" ow oof

- Simon calling Amandine "Amy", which we've established is an affectionate nickname (it being what, you know, THE LUIDAEG calls her). Why would Simon, of all people, call her that?

... oh.

-That sure explains a LOT, huh? That sure was set up... this whole time, huh?

-Little "fuck you" lines like "I didn't know Sylvester had a niece" in book 2. Talking about January. Well, uh, he has several actually! You're one of them!

-Explanation for why Sylvester had any inclination to be October's mentor... eventually becoming her liege and father figure... even giving her the Changeling's Choice (something family is supposed to do). It seems mighty convenient that a random noble was involved in the life of a changeling to such an extent. BUT, if he was her uncle, and knew his brother wouldn't step up? Well...

-This isn't even the biggest reveal of the book. Like, we're only a handful of chapters in and this bomb gets dropped.

-Sylvester, every 10 minutes: oh boy I cant wait to see my brother so I can like, completely eviscerate him!

Everyone else: uh,

- Tybalt: and here I thought I was going to have to ask Sylvester for his blessing. Now I technically have to ask SIMON?

Toby: uwotm8

Tybalt: oh god uhh I'm joking yeah uhh I'm just trying to distract you from all this stress :)) yeah (nailed it!)!

-And now we begin the "wow Sylvester is actually not a great person" slide. It's been hinted at that he's pretty unstable and has shitty priorities regarding people he cares about. But Toby glossed over a lot of it because she adored him. Welp.

- It's also an interesting aside that Etienne was kind of a dick to Toby for a reason in the earlier books. He legit thought she had been knighted because she was family, not that she had earned the post. And after the last few books he clearly knows now that that's not the case and they've actually become friends. That's interesting hidden character development.

- ok so The Gang finds out that Simon was telling the truth when he said turning Toby into a fish for 14 years was to save her. Because he had actually been hired to KILL her and didn't want to do it. So it was a loophole-- everyone thought she was dead, and then (as established in book 1) pretty much everyone forgot she existed until the spell broke.

-BUT Simon is bound by a geas (where have we seen that before) and cannot divulge his employer's name. But who had such a grudge against Toby and/or her mom to order a hit on her AND forcibly bind everyone to secrecy?

-who knows? Not toby. So they go to The Luidaeg to maybe get a lead, and she establishes right away that she is ALSO bound under a geas and can't say who did it. So we play some 20 questions, and then...

ULTRA DISTRESSING LUIDAEG LORE :((((

-additional: another month name just came into play. August. Toby's half sister, missing for a century. WHAT IS WITH THE MONTH NAMES

- "please don't mistake villainy for evil." That's an.. interesting quote re:Simon.

- Simon's way of protecting toby from the impending threat is "well maybe you turn into a tree for a few centuries but like. You're safe, right? Why are you mad?"

- The Luidaeg: *is straight up dead*

Toby: hey tybalt remember that time in book 2 when I Resurrected the Dead

Tybalt: yeah, it was fucking terrifying and I didnt speak to you for 6 months

Toby: *finger guns* guess whaaaaaat

-The Luidaeg: *says just. A bunch of Lore*

Toby: Luidaeg dont you dare drop that cryptic shit on me then pass out

Luidaeg: nap time

-"If you so much as whisper the first word of a transformation spell, I'll have your larynx in my hand before the second word can form." DAMN, Tybalt.

-Simon: I am VERY sorry for my bullshit earlier. I can't tell you who my employer is, but I CAN give you this BOUQUET of ICE COLD ROSES. Ice cold, like winter. Winter Roses, if you will. Yeah. Uh have a nice life, bye!

Everyone: well this sure is a mystery

-Simon is definitely a morally grey character. Has done really awful shit, is built up as a major villain... but turns out he had relatively little control over his actions. He does the wrong thing a lot but it's usually not for a truly evil end? If the context is to be believed he got stuck in the geas contract with Unnamed Employer to save his daughter, which explains the bad shit he did that we know of. Which then inadvertently kicked off like the whole series. He seems to genuinely care about Toby in a warped way? It would be so easy to write him off as an evil stepdad or whatever and there's plenty of canon to support that stance (she's an illegitimate CHANGELING child) but he seems like he wants to just be her dad. I hope we explore his character more, is what I'm saying.

-And not to keep rambling about it but Toby is an established unreliable narrator and a horrible (initial) judge of character. So it's not like this is an asspull or off base at all.

Twist of the fucking century here.

-You know... the character who set off the events of the series? The character who was murdered in book 1 and bound October to a geas forcing her to find the culprit or die? Evening fucking Winterrose?

-There were hints, most very subtle unlike the other big twists, but probably the biggest one is SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AS A NIGHT HAUNT. And they're in the story quite a bit, and they ALWAYS feature killed off characters. Except Evening.

-My favorite hints were the ones just piled in book 1. Comments like "no one knows who Evening really is" said with zero self awareness. Because we are actually about to find out who she is... 7 goddamn books later.

-dead meme but "surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

-God she's so awful lol

-Toby thinking Quentin died then calling him THE SON SHE NEVER HAD is a BIG OOF right to the HEART. ;-;

-The book also points out that The Luidaeg through the series has ALWAYS referred to Evening in present tense. Even though she "died" in book 1.

-The Luidaeg ALSO never refers to her as Evening. It's always "The Winterrose". You know, a title. Which we have heavily emphasized is something the Firstborn use in place of their true names.

*jazz hands* Surprise!

-We also (finally) have a canon explanation for the... rather remarkable coincidence that Quentin, the fucking Crown Prince (from TORONTO), is in San Francisco at all. It was always weird he got sent to Shadowed Hills, and it's been commented on multiple times... Evening arranged it, of course! For reasons we don't quite know. But as the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn, her descendants couldn't exactly say no. Even though they didn't know who she really was.

-We really are falling all over Firstborn in this series? It sure is.. an odd coincidence, huh?

We got:

The Luidaeg: Roane/Selkie

Amandine: Dochas Sidhe

Acacia: Blodynbryd

Evening: Daoine Sidhe

Blind Michael: ... uh actually I don't think we ever learn what race he's Firstborn of. All his "children" are kidnapping victims forcibly twisted into monsters. Well, except for Luna, but we only know the Blodynbryd side.

But it's weird that for being so rare that we've run into 5 of them in 8 books. There's gotta be a reason for it.. but what?

-Luna starts the series as Toby's Surrogate Mom and is now just straight up an enemy huh

-I made this observation in my book 1 notes, but I find it very interesting that all of Toby's initial friends and allies... aren't by this point. Whereas her current allies are either former enemies or people she initially disliked or distrusted.

Starter allies: Sylvester? Was lying to her the whole time. Luna? Pretty much tried to sacrifice her (+above). Evening? Uhh this whole damn book. Devin? Tried to kill her for personal gain. Lily/Connor? Both killed off for real.

Current allies: Tybalt? Literal former enemy turned lover. Quentin? Kind of a snotty, vaguely racist kid she whips into shape. The Luidaeg? Extremely powerful witch who Toby assumes is True Neutral and wouldn't hesitate to kill her. May? Literal personal walking death omen.

It's just a cool reversal. There's so much really excellent character development in this series and I love it.

-Simon still is a pretty major bastard but.. less outright mustache twirling evil than we were led to believe up to this book. You learn his Backstory and while it really doesn't justify his actions it does...explain them.

-Blink and you miss it Lore: August is missing because she entered a contract with the Luidaeg. She's holding the candle from book 3 :)))

I'm starting to realize I stan The Luidaeg so hard I just have to take a picture every time she shows up and does stuff lmfao. (Best character).

-But... nothing like your inconceivably ancient and powerful aunt suddenly owing you a life debt, I guess???

-Toby. You know, just an ordinary weak changeling who has somehow managed to KILL A FIRSTBORN and RAISE THE DEAD. yikes.

I'm just putting this here cause it's funny as shit. Tybalt really is just... a cat

This book: I heard you like distressing Luidaeg lore??

Me: oh thanks I don't need to feel things

-God Evening is awful. Like, if you didn't know that already, see above.

-It says something about The Luidaeg that despite all that shit their Firstborn did to her she ends up becoming such good friends with Quentin, a Daoine Sidhe?

-BIG LORE with The Luidaeg talking to Maeve??? And Maeve "responding" kind of? This series damn well better explore what the fuck happened to those three it's been built up all series

-Omg the showdown with Evening and The Luidaeg. And Toby managing to break free and realize she deserves so much more than Evening-- all without magic. And Simon showing up for a last minute redemption trying to hit Evening with elf shot? I mean he gets shot in the process, but...

-We now have like, 3 or 4 characters just... asleep indefinitely thanks to elf shot. that's gonna be a Thing isnt it. Rayseline, Evening, Simon, Arden's brother...

WE DID IT BOYS

-This is the last full one I've already read. Most of my reactions in 9-12 are gonna be new. So.

[beaniegara]

11 Questions

tagged both by @yaboybergara​ and @ricky-goldsworth​ which is great because that gives me 22 questions mwahhahaha thank you folks!! <3 

RULES

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. tag 11 people you want to get to know better (or however many you want)

now, see, I don’t know what to ask........ so I’m gonna be a little shit and tag folks to pick 11 of these 22 questions and answer them too. nini and gray pls don’t sue me for reusing your questions, thank fdgkfndgfdsk I’m tagging @kaylotta, @queerunsolved, @haunted-gays, @thatmademadej, and @i-am-ghost-proof-baby <3 if yall wanna do it, of course. no pressure.

this is incredibly long (and uncomfortably honest). let’s go lesbians let’s go

first, nini’s questions:

1. How many pets have you had in your life?

one. I’ve always wanted them but my mom and I have always lived in tiny apartments and had no way to care for a pet so it wasn’t until I was 17 that we adopted a kitten!! his name was merlin and he was the laziest, moodiest lil ball of fluff I’ve ever met. I.. had to give him away a year later because we moved to a place even smaller that wouldn’t allow pets so long story short I’m scarred for life and don’t think I can ever take any more pets without feeling guilty to my bone 

this is merlin btw I love him with all my heart and he now lives in a farm. as far as I know anyway.. :(

2. Do you believe in destiny? Why?

mmm interesting question. weird, metaphysical theories aside, I don’t believe anything is set in stone per se, but I do believe that some things are just... meant to be? in a way? for example, you can’t tell me ryan and shane weren’t meant to be friends and find each other in such an unlikely place as they did. one of my mottos, completely stripped from context because it’s from a rather pretentious tv show, is “the universe is rarely so lazy”. meaning that good things happen for a reason, and that you trailed that path for that to happen. yknow what I’m saying? I can’t really explain this without writing a 10 page essay because that’s just how my gemini ass thinks 

3. If you could chose one person on the great beyond, would you take the chance to talk to them? 

you mean someone who has passed away? oh yeah, I would talk to my grandmother. she was raising me and died when she was 4 and that changed not only my entirely life but our whole extended family dynamic... so many questions.

4. From all your hobbies, which one would you love to make a living of?

oh man, writing. I’ve been dreaming of being a writer ever since I was 9 or something. never panned out but that would certainly be the dream. if I could work with videos, subtitling, tv shows, cinema etc that would also be dope as hell!

5. What’s your favorite color palette to wear?

fkgjfsdgiusfdksd I have no fashion sense whatsoever, idk? I do like to wear dark clothes (because weight..) and reds (because pale).

6. What’s your opinion on queerbaiting?

I don’t have the time for it. for starters, it’s something that usually comes from people with very poor writing skills that can’t come up with plots interesting enough to keep viewers/readers hooked in. that already says something. no offense to anyone who is a fan of shows like these, but when it’s mostly written by white men I just don’t have any high hopes for it. you can ask flavs what my reaction was like when I realized the character I had headcanon’ed as wlw in hannibal was actually a wlw. I couldn’t believe it, because what???? since when does that happen, especially in a show run by a white man??? kjdfghsjgd 

I think this is part of a bigger conversation but my point is, don’t fall for it. I know it’s all part of the fight for representation, asking big names to produce big shows with lgbtq+ characters in it and so on, but for the love of god, watch something else too!!!! let GOT rot and die!!!!!!!!! look up different, smaller, cheaper shows, that’s where you find lgbtq+ content creators!!!!!! there’s so many wlw webseries out there, you wouldn’t believe it. you have a choice. don’t give any more of your time and love and word-of-mouth to shows/movies that clearly have no interest in being more diverse. they don’t deserve you. 

and that’s not to say any of it is on us. quite on the contrary, they’re using us. but aside from calling out their bullshit, we do have a chance to boost lgbtq+ content creators. don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re doing you any favors, or that they’re our last chance so we should be paying attention to what they’re doing/saying. fuck them!!!! you can’t queerbait me because I don’t trust you or give you the chance to do it. and you can shove your very straight, very white shows where the sun doesn’t shine, @ hollywood.  

7. Is there a language you would love to speak?

french and korean, mostly. I can understand a little bit of both, but I really wish I was fluent :( oh, will to live and learn, where art thou...

8. Do you have, like, a dream so wild you think it’s impossible?

kjgnsfdkjhjjs having enough money to support myself and my mother??? I don’t have any big, wild dreams, I think. just.......... living comfortably would be a+  

9. How many AUs of your own life do you have in your head?

oh man. I keep thinking about living somewhere in idk iceland or scotland just like... tending goats or something. that’s the most comfortable version of myself I can think of.

I also like to imagine if I could handle being a film director, because that sounds like fun. maybe a screenwriter? anything creative in films, really. 

there’s also the unattainable dream of having a wife and idk maybe adopting a kid? and we’d just. support each other. and love each other. and that’s just. I. [cries]

I like to think how things would be if I were actually hot and not socially awkward.. I’d be someone completely different, basically lol 

10. If you were to meet your younger self, do you think they would think you cool or not?

oh god, younger me would hate present me D: I had such high hopes for myself, I had lots of dreams lol never in a million years did I think I’d be where I am today...

11. Not a question, but please add something postive about yourself, something that you love about you.

IDJFSSIODUGSDFKGDSJ IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW I’D BE A NEGATIVE FUCK, NINI. I................................ I like that I have an easy time with languages? or with classes in general. I like to learn from people, I’m just really unmotivated to leave the house lol 

now onto gray’s q’s:

1. What’s your favourite music video of all time?

straight-up impossible questions right out of the gate huh I SEE YOU, GRAY. I SEE YOU kjdfgjfsdhgkdsjfs

I’ll have to go with a few,

“prototype” by viktoria modesta is just GORGEOUS. I can’t get over this video & song and it’s been years.

“jackpot” by block b looks creepy as shit but the context makes it such a clever yet fun video. take into account that these guys were screwed over by the kpop company that created the group, and that the lyrics talk about hitting jackpot in an industry that’s savage to say the least. to me this video is a visual representation of what a dangerous trap entertainment companies are in the kpop industry, and it also ties in with the groups’ story of being made into dolls by a company and then telling them to fuck off in the end lol 

“treat me like your mother” by the dead weather. I don’t know why I just love it. (cw: gun violence)

“emperor’s new clothes” by panic! at the disco. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.

“manyo maash” by puer kim. I just love the aesthetic?

honorable mention: “tick tick boom” by the hives because that’s a banger. ba dum tssss.

2. What’s a favourite memory of yours?

I have plenty of good memories, thank god. I think one of my favorites is just hanging out with my friends in 2008-9; one of their older brothers was driving us around town, we were listening to the white stripes at full volume, singing along, all sitting pressed up close together in his shitty car. man, my teenage years would’ve been fantastic if I had stayed there with them!! 

3. Do you play video games? If so, which one’s your favourite?

I DO!!! I mean, not as much as I’d like because a) no money to spare on games/consoles, and b) I suck at basically everything. but I’m obsessed with paladins these days, and I’m also a big fan of LOTRO. I like horror games--mostly the resident evil and silent hill type--and fps. I grew up playing some tomb raider, medal of honor, resident evil... oh, those were the days. 

4. How did you first get into [your fandom of choice]?

with bfu it was that kind of thing where I’d see a meme or two cross my dash and it was always this ridiculous screenshot, or those “that’s it, that’s the show” kinda things with dozens of thousands of notes... until one day I was incredibly anxious, and I needed to watch something or I’d never finish the assignments I had for college. so I just thought “oh hey I should check out that unsolved thing people like so much, it’s buzzfeed so it’s probably good bg noise to work with” lol and it did work, and I did finish my assignments, and that means that I first watched the show barely paying any attention to it because I was busy doing something else. but ryan’s and shane’s voices helped me relax and to this day they still help a lot with my anxiety, to the point that I need to keep coming back every minute or so during episodes because I get distracted just listening to their voices and not absorbing a word lol

5. How did you first get into fandom in general?

uhh.. well, I was a big “pottermaniac” (that’s how I called it) since I was 9, but that was before I realized fandom was a Thing on the internet too. I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11, I entered a chatroom (god, those were wild) just in time to see someone saying in all caps HARRY POTTER IS GREAT AND YOU’RE ALL DUMB FOR NOT SEEING IT or something fkdsjgfdugfsdk and it was this girl using the nickname fawkes. she was older than me, I think that 15 or something, and we exchanged addresses (!!! how am I alive!!!) and were pen pals for a while. but it took me so fucking long to actually find the fandom online that I think my first brush with it was with the arctic monkeys forum I found online in 2008, where I mistakenly said I liked “the muse” and people laughed at me so I never went back to it lol then in 2010 I found out about kpop and that’s when I really dived head-first into fandom life. took me long enough (tbf I was very against the notion of being a “fan” because I was an idiot).

6. What’s at the top of your bucket list?

great fucking question. no idea. I guess.. traveling overseas? if we’re talking wild, distant things. but closer to my reality, getting a job that pays me at least the minimum wage disjgdfgkfsdk #fuckinternships

7. What’s something not many people know about you?

I love dancing and miss it like hell.

8. What’s your favourite medium for storytelling - movie, book, television, musical, comic, internet video, video game, something else? Why that medium?

ohhhhhhh this is an interesting question. as much as I love writing, and think that’s one of the best things we humans have ever come up with, I do love.. musicals? not necessarily theater--although that’s great and I’d sell my soul to see chicago live--but I love the idea of telling stories through music. I really wish we could bring back the custom of telling stories orally, and through music, and that we could as society agree that collective singing is beautiful and should be reintroduced in our day-to-day lives. sure listening to (1) artist singing is great but hAVE YOU TRIED SINGING ALONG DURING A CONCERT WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS SINGING TOO? best fucking feeling in the world. 

we had two bands in brazil, in different periods of time, that were so incredibly famous they’re still cornerstones in our music history. one was legião urbana, some folk-ey rock band that had a couple of songs telling these really long stories that I LOVE with all my heart. faroeste caboclo is our bohemian rhapsody, most people my age or older know the lyrics to it. and mamonas assassinas was this comical (?) rock band that sang dumb, fun songs that usually told stories too and that was the best. I miss that kinda thing. 

9. What’s your favourite food?

red meat, mainly churrasco. but I also can’t live without chocolate milk AND the whopper. capitalism has me by the stomach.

10. Do you have a joke to share?

fjgfsdgskfdgfsk I don’t.. it’s been so long since I last tried telling a joke, I don’t think I know any?

11. What song/artist helped you through your struggles?

pitty has been a big part of my life for some 14-odd years now. “be ok” by ingrid michaelson and “starlight” by muse were my anthems when depression hit hard during my teenage years. the white stripes has also been a constant, with gems like “blue orchid” and “a martyr for my love for you” turning into sort of theme songs for certain parts of my life. choi sam helped me through college. and even though they were a huge disappointment to the point that I stopped listening to them altogether, block b gave me a good 4 or 5 years of distraction from life.

[sweetmeatdale]

I’ve got a bit pieced together from the spoilers and some of this’ll draw from stuff other people said and a little I thought of on my own but I’m gonna try to cover a few things all at once. SPOILERS BTW(gonna tag it anyways but just in case)

This is gonna take a little while but I think the place to start would be with what the descriptions of these two specials can already tell us

Right off the bat I’m not the best at translating French but before I go ahead with butchering that translation let’s unpack what the visuals show us. 

For starters there’s several new Akumas and heroes and right off the bat we can recognize all the heroes and a few akuma but it also stands out that Queen Wasp is Queen B and “Malediktor” looks like her dad. So since it looks so similar to her suit as Queen B it seems reasonable to assume that the events of “Le Combat des Reines” take place after “Le Tour des Heros”. 

As for the new akumas, previews have confirmed who The Collector and Troublemaker will be and a few others seem obvious given character designs but a few will obviously be new characters and on the whole would be best explored on their own like how the snowmanlooking one may be why we saw the ice-skating preview; but it also stands out specifically that there are so many Akumas simultaneously thus necessitating the introduction of three new heroes who we know to have each been akumatized before so that alone will either mean that they’re gonna have to be deakumatized before they become heroes or their Miraculouses will protect them.

And that seems like best way to lead up to talking about how several sources who translated the commentaries from the video we got these images from all agree that it was said that Marinette will be the one handing out the new Miraculouses so Alya becoming Rena Rouge is an obvious choice seeing as she already tried to make her Ladybug in the origin episodes and by extension it makes sense for her to give one to Nino as Carapace ore “Shell” as some people have been translating it, but it gives cause for us to wonder why she’d ever trust Chloe to become a superhero. There’s some simple explanations right off the bat like about how it happens during an emergency and she was low on options or it happens after Chloe had already started showing progress towards becoming a better person, but one theory I saw that stood out was that Marinette would’ve originally tried to give it to Adrien but as we all know Adrien already has one so he gives it to one of his oldest friends and I sorta like this not only because it’d show Marinette trusting Adrien with a responsibility she doesn’t know he already has but from her perspective it could look like he gave it up like she almost did. And to further support this, Ladybug would probably b confused if the person showing up with the bee miraculous is obviously not the person she gave it to so I’m gonna bring up a spoiler we got tweeted to us a couple of months ago a short piece of their script:

Here we have Chloe just straight up telling whomever she’stalking to who she is which in the context of Ladybug being confused about why she’s obviously not Adrien makes some sense. Next things I’m gonna address will have to do with translations from what we see so bare with me and if I’m very wrong please let me know so I can correct myself. 

For starters I can at least read that “Les Tour des Heros” is a 2 part special but the best I could translate the title to was “The Hero’s Turn” which isn’t very helpful. As for the rest of it the picture tells the story about as well as I can try to translate it; there are new heroes and many villains.

‘Les Combat des Reines” translates to “The Combat of Queens” and is described as a trilogy so that paired with the previously statement that the Bourgeois family is being controlled by Style Queen leads me to a few conclusions.

First the plurality of combat of queens make me suspect that the big fight this will ultimately be about will pit Queen B against Style queen with her family at stake.

Next, I already mentioned that this seems like it takes place after the other one so gonna guess that paired with my theory from before that Chloe tells the rest of the team who she is this could lead to some mistrust as most of the rest of the team recognize her as a bully so I think that may be the beginnings of a team divide that ultimately lead here, making it necessary for Chloe to show and prove that as Queen B she can be a hero for reasons that aren’t just because she idolizes Ladybug so much. And beyond that some level of distrust withing the team as a whole is sort of expected because Thomas Astruc was asked to share a spoiler so he tweeted a poster of Captain America: Civil War prompting a panic that the heroes would fight each other about something.

All that aside there’s one final set of theories I thought I’d at least attempt to cover while I’m at this and that is to do with all the Chinese Zodiac Kwamis we saw 

And there’s not really that much concrete information to go off of here but it is known that there’s a planned episode with Ladybug in Shanghai.

Which again doesn’t tell us much, they’re both basically just concept images.

There is however a secondary theory that seemed to spring up out of a bunch of people separately comparing Kwamis they liked to the main cast and what this one boils down to is that the rest of their class somehow ends up with these Zodiac Kwamis; popular theories being that Kim gets the dragon or that Alix gets the snake both based in part on their personalities and the aesthetic of their character designs. For me this idea came to mind when the mouse and/or rat Kwami reminded me of rose because they were both small but someone pointed out that the listed Kwamis leaves out the Rabbit and/or Hare and that they thought she’d be more fitting of that based on how she acts.  There’s a lot here and I know there’s probably more to share so feel free to add in the comments (assuming I post this correctly). Also if I’ve made any major mistakes then please let me know about that.

[attract-mode-collective]

Review: Metal Gear In Concert

This past weekend, Metal Gear In Concert made its long awaited debut on US soil. And because the performance took place literally in my backyard, that being the Washington Heights portion of upper Manhattan, and also because I'm such a Metal Gear diehard… I was naturally there.

It was held at the United Palace, a non-profit cultural & performing arts center that's also a church (with the best god damn acoustics imaginable). Was my second time at the venue actually; the previous was for, funny enough, Kingdom Hearts Orchestra last summer. Anyhow, impressions of my Saturday night...

Let's start with the biggest positive first: the seventy musicians on stage did an absolutely wonderful job breathing life into various compositions hailing from the seven mainline Metal Gear Solid tiles (assuming you consider Ground Zeroes & Phantom Pain as separate entities). As for the arrangements themselves, I found some creative choices to be rather... curious... but the musicians performed the notes that they were given, and again, they were outstanding.

So onto the biggest negatives; there's two. First, the order in which the source material was presented. Whomever thought it would be best to present the games in chronological order. Meaning the first thing we hear is the opening to Snake Eater, and the last is the final piece from Guns of the Patriot. BTW, alongside the music is footage from the games, cinematics that have been edited to add context to the music.

Adhering to the narrative is something most diehard fans might prefer, but given how any casual members of the audience would have no idea what the hell is going on… which admittedly would have resolved if the aforementioned highlight reels were better produced… I believe an opportunity was lost as it pertains to highlighting the evolution of the series by not presenting the games in the order in which they were produced. Am mostly talking about how the music evolved here, but the same goes with the visuals.

Instead of using the occasion as a conversation starter among aficionados of orchestral music, to not just heighten awareness of Metal Gear but the medium of games as a whole, it was simply for the fans. Which is fair enough, though my second primary gripe is ultimately responsible for the first one and is purely via the lens of a fanboy: there was an overall lack of polish when compared to Kingdom Hearts Orchestra. Broad strokes-wise, it was the same deal; various songs were chosen from various games, accompanied by footage. In fact, both were produced by the same organization La Fée Sauvage, which specializes in producing licensed music concerts. They also do show based around Final Fantasy and… One Piece?

A key difference between the Kingdom Hearts and Metal Gear showcases is how the former simply had more to work with; there are simply more KH games than MG games. As the saying goes, less is more, so considering the reduced amount of material to breathe life into, every creative decision ends up taking on greater importance (and lends itself to increased scrutiny). At the same time, the length of time between MG installments is greater than KH's. There's also greater technological leaps, as well as gameplay advances, let alone gameplay variety. Hence why each Kingdom Hearts entry... while certainly unique... is more or less identical.

Not true with Metal Gear, and not to sound like a delusional fanboy, but whereas every entry may appear similar, below the surface they are wholly unique to each other. As well unlike any other game, to such a degree that they've helped to redefine the medium. A large part of the appeal of KH is the characters, and while I’m a fan of MG’s colorful cast, what makes Metal Gear… well, METAL GEAR… is the gameplay, the breaking of the fourth wall, etc. So with all that in mind, perhaps focusing a more tangible aspect like the narrative, was the only real option among the parties involved? 

I believe the main reason for such a difference in approach and quality, despite both shows being produced by the same entity, is how other names were involved in the Kingdom Hearts affair. Specifically, Disney Concerts & Square Enix; me thinks that last name is the most important one, because Kingdom Hearts is such a valuable asset for SE. The previous concert took place right when production of KH3 was heading towards the finish line, so it was just another thing to keep the fanbase excited. Basically, Square Enix cared about their concert, because they had a serious investment in it, which was clearly on stage for all to see.

Meanwhile... and no need to state what every diehard fan of the franchise knows already, but... Konami cares very little about Metal Gear. It’s just another IP, just another source of revenue, not even one that’s coveted; Konami’s name being barely visible in any of the press releases I’ve received is yet another sign that they weren’t very invested, or interested, in the performance. And it goes without saying that the series creator was still involved, those sizzle reels would have been vastly superior. 

Something else that needs to be pointed out: the turn out for the show was rather disappointing. It definitely was not a sellout. Not sure why… this past Saturday night’s performance was originally schedule for last October, so perhaps the change had an effect? I don’t think so… Perhaps the ever-increasing shittiness of this city’s mass transit had an impact? Again, maybe a little. Perhaps it was the cost of entry? A more likely factor… full disclosure: I attended for free, as a member of the press.

Ultimately, I fear the poor turn out simply speaks of the current state of the Metal Gear fanbase, which has deteriorated in recent years, something that Konami themselves is responsible for.

And… because this report is turning out longer than expected, I’m just going to go down my additional points, in semi-bullet pointed fashion:

- Alas, one couldn’t tell it was a high ticketed affair by looking at the majority of its attendees. Generally speaking, one usually will dress up… or dress nicely…. for an event of this type. But not for Metal Gear in Concert. Lots of t-shirts & jeans.

As for what they wore, I saw far less Metal Gear related attire than at the Kingdom Hearts shindig, which again was a sign of how lively the fanbase is. Translation: I recall lots of KH related merch, fairly recent stuff, whereas hardly anyone was wearing anything of note among the MG camp… saw two instances of shirts from that Uniqlo line about ten years ago, that was it.

- Speaking of merch, what they had for sale at Metal Gear In Concert was downright embarrassing. Attendees were clearly expecting to blow money, and had only two different shirts to choose from, both of which were subpar Redbubble-caliber.  At the very least, I was expecting a commemorative design to mark the performance near the George Washington Bridge, but nope.

And speaking of the GW, when the opener from Metal Gear Solid 2 was highlighted, it predictably got one of the loudest reactions from the crowd (no joke, that bridge is legit a few blocks away from the United Palace).

- There were a few cosplayers in attendance, and sitting directly behind me was a dude dressed as Naked Snake, with his 5 year old son, dressed the same. Which was cute until it was clear that the kid had zero familiarity with dad's fave game; the kid was clearly bored and uncomfortable.

Once again, nerd parenting is often some of the worst parenting I've encountered, a topic of discussion that I have many strong opinions about, but now is perhaps not the time or place.

- The definitive highlight of the evening for me was witnessing Donna Burke perform Sins of the Father live, which again due to the order of the source material, was a super early into the proceedings crowd pleaser. Snake Eater was the first of two songs performed as the encore.

Hate to say it, but her take on Cynthia Harrell's signature song... while certainly respectable... further validates my previously alternate approach to the concert, meaning Snake Eater could have been an excellent means of warming up the crowd, and both Phantom Pain selections (the other being Heavens Divide) still closing the show.

... So yeah, that was Metal Gear In Concert. If you're a fan of the games and live music, it's definitely recommended. Even if it doesn't hit all the right marks and is ultimately a somewhat sad reflection of the enthusiasm for Big Boss, Solid Snake, and the rest of the game... or lack thereof.

Or maybe the turn out will be better for the next performance, taking place in Los Angeles ion April 6th at Wilshire Ebell Theatre? And if you go... while you don't have to... for God's sake wear a button up shirt at the very least, geeze.

[pendulum-sonata]

Story Time...

Remember that post I made about “A Clockwork Orange”? That one where I mentioned it opened a two hour disscusion about the dystopic themes in YA literature in a class? Well after eons I’ll finally tell you about it :P

First a bit of context:

First the class as mentioned before was Sociology, although since I majored in Psychology the classes followed a model very focused on it, either way we were being thought about Behaviorism in society and because ACO is a critique of the tecnicques involved in it we watched the movie in class and then tasked with reading the book.

(As a footnote with the exception of two classmates we were all women in the class, even the teacher)

With the exception of me and another girl, while almost everyone had watched or heard about the movie, nobody had read the book before (some didn’t even knew it was based on a book). Also back then Hunger Games had just released its trilogy conclusion and because the movies had been announced everyone was crazy about them.

Half of the class read the book ‘til the end, the other either got tired of trying to follow the nadsak language of Alex, or where just plain sickened by the violence described in it (partcicularly the rape and/or the murder scene) and couldn’t bring themselves to finish it.

(I’m gonna leave the ending part of the disscusion out of the story because there nothing new or particularly noteworthy about it, you the same arguments, the same opinions about wheter the movie was better, or it if the book ending was believable or not etc.) 

When my friend (who other one who had already read it, and was a big HG fan btw) got to voice her overall opinion about it, she simply said:

“I had not noticed it before, but now it kinda reminded me of the Hunger Games”

First silence, then mutters and finally an explosion of questions and complains about how dare she compare Katniss to Alex and stuff like that, it got pretty ugly that the teacher had to intervene ansking my friend about why she had thought like that (note: my teacher was young, and knew about HG but had not read them) 

“It’s just... I mean we are never told much about it, because Alex is not very smart or cares about socio-political stuff, but the goverment was kinda like in in the Districts right? I mean they talk about elections and stuff, so obviously there’s no President Snow ruling them all, and yeah there are no Reaping and Games but there is no need for them! There is obviously an opressive and controlling nature to the Government, and they all only care about power and keep the status quo using people like Alex -  you know, poor and under-educated - to move their political agendas and planned to parade him the same way Katniss and Peeta were, but when he stopped being useful he was “fixed” and thrown back into the world...” 

And with that we started to discuss the book in a much more interested manner than before (you know what type of generic we were having the “I don’t really care that much about this book”) 

Now before any of you jump at my throat (or my friend’s yes, we’re still friends)  for calling Alex a victim like Katniss, let me clarify that at no point during the discussion we called him innocent, excusing his actions previous his arresting or calling him a revolutionary or anything of the like.

If anything we came to the conclusion Alex and Katniss represented completely opposite spectrums of a dystopic society summerized like this:

Both of them shared some life circunstances and some personality traits and their thought process where the result of the society they grew up in however that’s were the simmilarities stop.

For starters Alex is utterly selfish and self-serving, Katniss is selfless and most of her life has been devoted to help other people rather than herself.

Katniss questions - though not openly, nor in an overly conscious manner - about the way things work in her District, on the other hand there’s exactly one instance of one of Alex droogs having some “deep” question about life and Alex shuts him up saying that neither God (or “Bog”) or anyone cares.

Both break the law, Katniss out of necessity and (mostly) selfless reasons, Alex does it for fun and excitement.

When faced with life changing circunstances, Katniss faces them -  not without fear or doubt but still - whereas Alex tries to run away and when that fails drag down people with him.

Katniss is aware that she will never be able to get her old life, and while part of her is scared and wishful for it the other part of her is happy for it, because she was aware of always getting the short end of the stick; Alex yearns for it to the point he offered himself to an experiment to get out of jail if that meant he could go back to his antics, in fact when he succeds he laments how much things have changed ever since.

In short despite disadvantages (neglectful parents, poor and uneducated), Alex was always on the “winning” side of his society, he was free to do what he wanted however he wanted right up until the point where he pushes too much, while Katniss represent the part where there are not things they want, only things they can do to live another day, anything that comes her way she thinks about “how can this work on my favor?” and embraces change.

The amazing thing is that both could have sprouted from the same society, Katniss in a way represents the idealized revolutionary that goes trumps over a tyrant and frees her people, Alex on the contrary is the complacent, bored part of the same society that seriously thinks that no matter who is control, life will continue to be the same, so why bother? (and for people like him it may be true, for people like Katniss is a matter of life and death) If ACO would have had at some point a revolution akin to HG with a person “leading” them (a symbol of change) Alex would have scoffed at it, cursed and called it all useless... until the point where they turn the tides, then he would come off and say how change was unavoidable and needed and you all know that speech right?

Katniss is the individual tired of a faceless and careless government, Alex represents the masses that care only for their lives and side with the winning side in order to protect themselves.

(We may also have had a funny talk about how Alex would marry and have a daughter rather than a son, who would become like Katniss, and when she starts doing suspicious stuff like him at that age, he would think she’s just in gang and going through a phase like him - except for maybe have a “serious” talk about avoiding being thrown in jail like him -  and then next thing he knows she’s one of the “enemies of the state” and stuff like that :’DDDD) 

[apriltwentythree]

do you want to know what my favorite neurotransmitter is…? Acetylcholine.

the other day I was at the local book store, and ended up browsing the sports section. i noticed this book ‘the performance cortex’ ; there was a chapter in it titled ’motor hunter’ focussing on Steph Curry. I am a Curry fangirl and can consume almost anything about him, even this silly Water filter Ad! anyways, i stood there for 20 minutes reading about his brain, and about how he does what he does on the playing court! the book in general attempts to speak about how Sports-Scouting is increasingly relying on neuroscience. and personally, i felt it may be an even better approach than the Moneyball-like Sabermetrics. (Moneyball btw, is one of my all-time favorite sports movies.)

later, i walked out with the realization that i am now officially a Neuro-junkie!

it is after being a part of the Brain-Gut-MentalHealth group project, that I started to obsess over the Vagal Nerve, for starters.

real quick, it goes like this….Cranial nerves are those that emerge directly from the brain, rather than from the spinal cord. there are 12 pairs, responsible for carrying sensory info to the brain, and motor signals to muscles and organs. Vagus nerve— sometimes referred to as Vagal nerve—is the 10th and the longest one, originating in the medulla oblongata and is named for its wandering path through the body. it is like a superhighway that handles sensing the internal environment of the body and regulating it, like lowering heart rate, constricting the bronchi of the lungs, reducing blood pressure, to name just a few. one of the easiest bio-hacks they say, in order to keep the Vagus nerve in tip-top-shape, is to take cold showers in the morning.

now, if you are a neuroscientist or neurologist or, a superior-Neuro-junkie reading this blog and say hey, some of your understanding here is not exactly right, i would just say i’m sure you’d know better! and will agree with you happily. on the other hand, if you are someone who thinks you are decently-smart but usually take your brain for granted, and cannot self-influence, ever, to read up on generic brain stuff unless you get Alzheimers some day, then this blog is decently-sufficient for your lukewarm-curiosity!

anyways, the Vagal nerve has been extensively studied; there is this dork-geek-nerd-joke that only dorks-geeks-nerds will find funny ‘what happens in Vagus doesn’t stay in Vagus but affects many aspects of emotionality and neurobiology, ha ha’!  

to say more…lets say, you are hungry, the gut sends a hormonal trigger to the brain (Ghrelin) and when you are feeling full, it sends another (Leptin). but, now they say there is a neural circuit from the gut cells—dubbed Neuropods— that have nerve endings, which can directly communicate to the brain through Vagal neural synapses. and this overturns many ideas around appetite and satiety! say, you are into serious-dieting. taking appetite suppressants may not work as they usually target the slow-acting hormonal route to the brain, which can take up minutes to hours. but, as the instant-connection Vagal neural circuit takes about 100 milliseconds or less, targeting the Vagus may work better at losing all those unhealthy, add-on pounds!

the Vagal gives legitimacy to the idea of ‘gut feeling’ as a sixth sense, and I doubt if any of the other nerves can beat the magic!

all my Vagalmania led me to Acetylcholine and, made me think about it in context with Epinephrine, the rollercoaster neurotransmitter. now, the story there is….um, independent of the Central Nervous System, the Autonomic Nervous system houses two subsystems — Sympathetic and Parasympathetic—speaking really simplified!

Sympathetic translates to “Adrinergic”. Neurotransmitters — Epinephrine, Norepinephrine— are behind your high heart rate in both super-pumped-up situations and heart-in-the-mouth situations. and on March 31st, guess it was Sympathetic pathways that totally ran the show! This system does have a say in most Akhlat Latifa feelings that knock us over, be it beauty-weed mode or fighter-jet mode. Parasympathetic translates to “Cholinergic”. Neurotransmitter — Acetylcholine— slows down your heart rate and makes you stay in calm, comfortable situations. It’s Parasympathetic pathways that make you want to socializie and say hello. like today May 10th, which also happens to be my mother’s birthday. somewhere I read, it’s the myelinated Vagus B-fibers emerging from the Nucleus Ambiguus inside the Medulla O, that takes care of all the cholinergic responsibilities.

anyways, reading up on the lovely Acetylcholine made me think about the month of April which was like a hangover-recharge month for me, with my Parasympathetic totally working up the scene. Lot of peace, lot of beauty. Zero rollercoaster rides, zero adrenaline rushes. Thank you vagal B-fibers.

but, guess I also slightly miss my adrenergic lifestyle of the past one year, with all the nonstop-gaming, and what not….

the whole world must be engaged in all kinds of interesting things happening around. but while THIS socmedia-window-to-the-world stays super-inactive, I keep on staying in some kind of cozy, mental time-warp that I have taken quite a liking to. it’s always good to need less, I guess. and to feel oh-so-minimalistic.  

Anita Desai popped up inside my head the other day, and I was reminded of one of her fiction works. in the story, all her protagonists play games at twilight, and one of them goes into a time-warp of a few hours, as he stays inside a shed next to the garage, while the others keep being engaged in all kinds of interesting games happening on the lawn around the house.

aside from being a neuro-junkie, I have always been a creative-junkie. so taking cue from Desai’s writerly imagination, I felt like “playing derivative” at her work, and go inside the head of her time-warped protagonist. and to see what I can pick up from that last weekend of March, what I can pick up from what’s on there, at this socmedia-window-to-the-world!

and there’s scope for gaming...

but let me write a quick disclaimer: bcos of KL’s celebrity clout, all the lovely colors were color-gamed by all the world more so than ever, and as imagination-inventor, AK always thinks this is immensely cool and it gives her an inception-orgasm. but, since the colors were also endorsed to crazy-overkill on this socmedia-window-to-the-world  ---a lot of times in intolerance and with spite and hatred even--- AK had given away all colors sometime back in February, as part of “The Curse of Raghu”, thus making a statement of protest against the misappropriation of disability-imagination in a happily-ableist world.  AK truly remains in a BnW world.

okay then, game-time!

Reference Tweets from Mar 30th:

https://twitter.com/CarDroidusMax/status/1112035121916493826

https://twitter.com/CarDroidusMax/status/1112034751521665029

#lawpoint1 -- back in August sometime, when AK/KL had first begun sparring on SM, AK had shared this Malayalam film clip and KL had shared back this ICICI Bank Ad. in both, the color is predominantly red. it is quite implicit that it is only blue in a red-disguise; there wasn’t any doubts whatsoever back then. this fact is significant as this was the first time AK/KL had ever faced-off. so if she so wishes, AK can re-possess any color. example, the red and yellow on the KSRTC bus in the above reference photo, KSRTC bus and the green in the twitter profile Cover image, the sort-of-purple on the shirt of the guy on the road in same Cover image, and the colors on Capt. Cavey DP, even! Winner takes all.

#lawpoint2 --- there was supreme court judgment sometime in September that since Karthiyayini had 2 ‘Y’s in her name, any Y in Kerala could be used to AK’s requirement. back then, as a hat-tip to this landmark judgement, the aYYappan-sabarimala ruckus had followed. so, since we already have a precedence regarding settlement of Y disputes, all 26 alphabet can be monopolized by AK just like in the board game. to say explicitly, AK can call Monopoly on the lovely district of waYanad or kottaYam or any other place for that matter. this rule is especially valid on this socmedia-window-to-the-world as the AK/KL combat had initially also begun by involving the lovely malayalam actor parvathY thiruvothu.

In clear conclusion, about the two reference tweets from KL on Mar 30, AK would like to say -- അതേ, വളരെ ഭംഗിയുണ്ട് :)

this out-of-sync and strenuous “comeback” above is the equivalent of how in her fiction, Desai writes:  Ravi bawled, shaking his head so that big tears flew. “Raghu didn’t find me. I won, I won…”

all ക്രിയേറ്റിവ് മണ്ണാങ്കട്ട gaming aside, it’s also some Desai appreciation…her way of writing… sensitive imagery about gamer protagonists and their gaming worlds! It’s good how sensitivity is not just romantic fiction-feature anymore, at least for me! growing up, my mother used to sometimes romanticize my ‘differences’ using the word apoorvaraagam, and that was that! Most of us are like her I guess, rarely ever intuitively-acknowledging the many differences in how different people navigate the same world.

the Neuro-junkie in me thinks that Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) seems to be what Desai’s timewarp-ed protagonist is going through; temperamental personality trait involving increased sensitivity and deeper cognitive processing of social and emotional stimuli. apparently, people with a high measure of SPS make up about 15-20% of the population. they say it is the gene variants of ADRA2b and 5-HTTLPR that lead to the emotionally enhanced vividness in perception.

It’s good that making sense of these will influence how we raise our children; help make lives, more tolerant and relaxed for them!

hey KL, what is your son like? does he still prefer football to cricket despite his sub-continental genes? is he old enough to have a favorite football team? someday, will you be teaching him to hack-stalk women? :) .…. my son is right now in a freezer, probably waiting for his uterus implantation by year-end! Johan is expected to default-love soccer thanks to namesake Johan Cruyff.... let’s see how that sports inheritance goes!

p.s. In this Malayalam film scene, Nanda (Revathy) tries to humor her hard-stalker Naren (identical twin no.1 Lalettan). He somehow has all the A-Z on her, while she knows next to nothing about him and just keeps going in circles trying to figure out.....

I have always loved this song from Mayamayooram. Janakiamma singing ഇതളടർന്ന വഴിയിലൂടെ വരുമോ വസന്തം....? is easily among her best!  Also, I will never really know why Shobhana is not superstar-Shobhana; she is effortless in everything…. ഒടുക്കത്തെ പേട്രിയാർക്കി തന്നെ, അല്ലാതെന്താ?!

#CLASSYwomen