#btw I have a lot of sketches to finish so I will be more active here

[eerrratt]

I really hate backgrounds, just.. How?

[windydrawallday]

MARAUDER LOCKDOWN

... Tbh he is more of a "vagrant" but that sounds too low for his reputation IMEAN--

I'm both excited and nervous to show at last a proper reference for my own interpretation of this character 💚 I think it's not a surprise anyway for the ones that know me and my love for him ksdjhfjdsfh

I wanted to do it too so I can work comfortably on my HCs that edge in very OOC territory from the canon (and even some fanon)... and because I admit I have been enjoying sharing short stories and RPs with people again ✨ and activity I missed a lot!

And of course, this interpretation got its own whole backstory that differs from the canon and follows my HCs and concepts around his species, but I'll talk about that in another post (or if someone is curious enough to ask for it coff).

For now! Have more initial sketches from when I was developing him (this is since... 2022 gosh).

First: a time ago I used him for an old (discontinued) post-apocalyptic AU with designs inspired by hunting-scavenging clothing. A friend said he looked like Robin Hood x'D

... I almost didn't change the way I sketch digitally. Anyways. To not let this rot, you can notice I used many design cues from this one!

Then during half of the past year, I did studies of his ROTF toy because I liked how that one kept the weird silhouette of the TFA but aligned to the IDW design too!

And from there I chipped away traits and straightened others until it felt right to me.

BONUS one of the first and fastest sketches I did for him during a conversation with @goobygnarp x'D Thanks to this I not only got the courage to finish the reference but to understand WHAT design cues I wanted to keep and didn't give me too of a headache.

[ Btw that kremzeek is my rascal baby Scintilla ]

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. this is completely unrelated to anything but one of my loose power ideas for ashe so far is just. straight up telekinesis (inorganic/non alive matter) w/ an upper range limit that's like a couple times his body weight.... terrifying!! fits w/ the fucking. structurally unsound house collapsing around them & his mom trapped & crushed & everything happening around them!! maybe the longer he has it running/the more strain he's under, the more powerful he gets & the less he's like actively aware of what he's doing (like labyrinth) & the more it just runs on autopilot (bad bad fucked up and bad and dangerous) & the less he's cognizant the harder it is to come back down (<- related 2 breaker shit somehow. ur turn. handing u the half finished thing make it work please :( )... trickster state ant death spiral.... kind of is similar a little bit to his stuff in canon if u stretch it a lot.... anyway not married to this at all just throwing stuff at the wall <33

I ALSO HAVE TRICKSTER THOUGHTS. OKA.Y. FUCK. so. thinking abt him as his Own Person......... i love u trickster....... i just got to the part where he's hanging out with the lil girl in her treehouse. just some dude!! :]]] ..... so. sliding across the table to lean in towards u pulling out my ballpoint pen & sketching out diagrams on my cocktail napkin.

^i think.... the trickster could be something like this. he could get to have some crazy master shit going on where he can control & affect other capes like the chaos demons in canon. alec if he had a greater range of control & could permanently or semipermanently fuck with ur brain settings etc. u see where im going w this.... i think he should get to control ashe :] PUPPET SHIT NOT EVEN FUCKING INTENTIONAL BTW im just kind of crazy abt this also. like. dinah situation except he isn't drugged out of his mind (well. maybe. redundancies) he's just always in his loose nuke fugue state & kept in the trickster's control, he's very handy! he likes this one, he's so useful, he doesn't wanna give him up! :) i have no clue How the trickster would find him in this scenario btw. i just think it would fucking suck for everyone involved <3333 anyway.

ALSO FUCKING ILL OVER ALL UR ASHE/TRICKSTER STUFF BTW. haven't said it bc all of that is in the mile long draft i'm still working on but believe me i am like shaking and sobbing and on the floor puddle of blood abt it all ur so right ab everything forever. ANYWAY. thoughts??

ohhhhh telekinesis and losing control of his telekinesis as he gets worse is REALLY good. yea yea yea I like that a lot. u are handing this to me to make sense of okay okay lemme put my brain into gear thinking about Scenarios. under the cut time before I ramble about nhw like a madman for the billionth time. trickster state ant death spiral is a sentence that will be in my mind all day today i just know it. why do we keep doing horrible ant things to our little guys (it's ashes turn under the solar death ray now)

okay his shaker powers manifesting as telekinesis is perfect for the tragic irony part of the power thing (which. can you tell I fucking love that little detail? god that's so fucking good. your powers will help you. theoretically. but watch out!! that's so fucking delicious and awful). he triggered in a house that was about to collapse, his mom crushed by whatever it was that fell on her, of course hed want to save her and get her out! but the irony and futility comes in waves where. 1) he lifts up the bookshelf or whatever it is and that doesn't matter because she's already crushed. 2) he can't even help her with his powers because they can only affect inorganic material. he can't move her (he's only 8, he's so small) . 3) he is in a state of extreme distress and these first two realizations are making it worse and. where is he? what was he doing? Who is he? who's that person on the ground? UGHAHHVHV. HORRIFYING.

altered mental states and hypnotism and not being able to control your actions and being made to do something terrible and not being able to stop it is such a uniquely awful type of fear, and I think that kind of fear kind of compounds on itself to make it worse once he realizes its happening? I think he doesn't notice the fact that he's losing control at first. he's getting stressed and pushing himself harder and wow! his powers are actually responding to that, he's getting stronger! awesome! but stuff just gradually starts getting more... blurry. floaty. he becomes less responsive to the things around him. someone calls out to him and it takes him longer than it should to process that, he doesnt immediately recognize the words or whos saying them. and like you said kind of eventually shifts into autopilot. it's almost like he's fading out of consciousness but he's Awake the whole time. he's just not Aware . which, in a fight that's happening in a big open space like the whirlwind fight for example. that's not Too bad because there's less of a chance he'll accidentally hit someone he shouldn't be targeting. in closer quarters it gets really dangerous really fast, it's really easy to pinpoint exactly where and when he starts losing control.

side note rq im imagining the way this would work on a team, with the others kind of constantly keeping him in check, making sure he doesn't go too far with his powers? thinking about the way Failsafe's powers work, I think he's always sort of dimly aware of his teammates in the background and when ashe starts to lose control he either a) his pain level goes fucking haywire and sets of all the alarm bells in dakotas mind OR b) he drops off the radar completely. unresponsive, it's almost like he dies, he just gets totally cut off from the pain sense so dakota can immediately feel something is wrong, looks around in panic thinking hes gonna find ashe on the ground but hes still just standing there using his powers (i cant decide which of these is worse. smile). so dakota makes it his unofficial responsibility to be Ashe's lock check in a fight, esp with his mover powers, he's able to get to ashe fastest and easiest without being hit by any stray projectiles. bear with me bc im weak for these types of scenes (picturingggg that scene with vex and percy at the end of tlovm....) where dakota just puts his hands on either side of ashes face and just talks to him like "come back to me, don't get lost, don't let yourself fall" etc etc can anyone hear me it's so dark in here. and that sort of thing works for them for a long time because its a direct physical outside interference, ashe is able to kind of wake up from his fugue state and turn down his powers and bring himself back to awareness because dakota can usually get to him before he passes the point of no return. usually being the key word here.

operating with the breaker stuff being trickster mode still (I'll get 2 ur other idea about trickster after this but let me live in the moment for a second) I think THAT becomes the point of no return. once ashe gets to an emotional/mental state where he feels like he's in a situation too similar to his trigger, the breaker powers kick in and he becomes totally unable to control his actions (maybe with practice and training he could learn how to control his breaker stuff but hey he was actively extremely discouraged from even thinking about using his powers for a solid 10-ish years of his life, thanks mark :) ) . still imagining this is trickster mode, that's where he shifts forms and becomes less Ashe and more Trickster. ashe is still in there somewhere, maybe, but it gets REALLY REALLY difficult to break him out of that state until he feels like the threat is gone and there's no more danger. which. because he can't distinguish or recognize individual people when he's like this, having three other REALLY Powerful Capes around him does not minimize the feeling that he's in danger !!! the wards trying to break him out of trickster mode directly would probably just make things worse or put themselves in danger.

power mechanic wise I get this feeling that breaker powers because they overlap with the other classifications so much, that means breaker forms can manifest their own powers that could fall under other classifications? so in Trickster form his powers become less shaker and more master? (hey more similarities with wibby I'm sure wibby feels really normal about this). i don't think you've seen trickster in an actual fight yet so im a little hesitant to tell u this but considering you've seen the my friend mr giggles part you're close enough that i don't feel too bad about it- aside from the chaos demon master shit I REALLYYYY like the trickster being able to manipulate his environment (breaker powers) but being limited to like. carnival bullshit. games. the big throwing knife wheel. the floor is lava but Real. using a giant pinwheel as a weapon. as soon as Circus was introduced in worm i was like THIS IS SOME TRICKSTER SHIT !!!!!!. i don't know why ashes powers specifically would manifest like that (maybe because he triggered as a young kid and it's his brain tapping into the childlike tendencies of seeing everything as a game, turning the horrible scenarios into "something fun" as fucksd up as that is, idfk) so maybe this leans more into the trickster being a separate person but those are most of my thoughts on him for now :]

WHICH LEADS INTO YOUR THINF REALLY WELL, TRICKSTER BEING A DIFFERENT GUY. which. I do ljke this because it's actually. closer to the case in canon and would make sense for us to tie into the implications for season 3 (being. extremely vague here but we could do some TERRIBLE shit w trickster for season 3 if he's a separate guy. smile) THE ONLY THING. STOPPING ME FROM FULLY AGREEING W U ON THIS (u know I looooovd the pain of puppet imagery I am so down for this torture) IS THAT. I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS about how ashes breaker powers would manifest. or how/if/why trickster would be present for his mom's death (although I guess he doesn't necessarily have to be?) i think maybe the compromise here would be to give ashe the carnival shit breaker powers and have those just be His, while trickster can just be a separate s-class master who favors ashe specifically because he likes having control of those powers (because they're fun! "why him?" "i like this one. fits like a glove :)")

OKAY. FUCK. THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS TO TYPE UP AND IM AT WORK NOW ILL MAYBE ADD ONTO THIS LATER IF I TJINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT. HI GOODMORNIGN IM GONNA SPEND MY WHOLE SHIFT THINKING ABT THIS

[fainthedcherry]

IT'S TIME TO FINALLY ABBACCHIO POST. I was spending several weeks just gathering all the times I've drawn Abbi!!! :>

A LIST OF WHAT DRAWING IS MEANT TO BE WHAT:

1TL - First time drawing Abbi, just exploring his design basically in my artstyle

2TR - SECOND time drawing Abbi (doodled a bust outta boredom at work again and realised how fun he is to draw from then on)

3MDPPR - Doodle of Abbi and Moody Blues in combat, bc his ASBR hand poses RLLY intrigue me, SLAY ABBI SLAYYY SO I referenced that pose when he URRYA's but FRONT perspective

4MDPPR - I then last second wanted to fill my empty page w/ another doodle of Abbi getting harrassed by the Sex Pistols to wake Mista up midst his makeup routine bc I felt like making a cute doodle ;v

4MDGTL - Drawing a dream I had almost a week ago, I only finished that drawing yesterday bc I was so sleepy the past 2 weeks I didn't pick up the pencil much in result T-T

4MDDGTL - JUST REDRAWN MY FAVOURITE MEME. In case unaware, this is referencing the Samuel Johnson painting. Idk why, but that painting is just so perfect and I've doodled Abbi in response to a message to my friend Hart LMFAO (you got my permission to repost this one btw memes are made for sharing imo so go ahead for that piece in particular)

BTM L & R - 2 more boredom doodles! One at work, one at school when the teacher didn't give us clear instructions on what to do so the entire class including me just sat there and procrastinated bc he's that bad of a teacher 💀

RAMBLING ABT THE FULL ART PROCESS ON EVERY PIECE BELOW;

TOP DRAWINGS. I WAS DRAWING ABBI AT WORK BC I WAS BORED AND IT WERE SLOW DAYS W/ NOTHING TO DO IN MY DEPARTMENT THAN SIT AND CHECK INK TANKS. I then realised, how much fkn FUN IT IS TO DRAW HIM. I always loved Abbacchio's design, even 3 years ago, when I was still in high school and freshly watched Golden Wind in its peak popularity smwhr, with an over-active fandom that fed me SO many funny Dio parenting Giorno memes. NOW that like 4 of my friends and apparently EVEN MY BOYFRIEND like Jojo, I'VE BECOME MEGA OBSSESSED AGAIN JUST LIKE 3 YEARS AGO. AND DAMN AM I GLAD I AM BC ABBI IS THE FIRST CHARACTER I PROPERLY AM FINALLY EMBRACING MY CRINGE ERA OVER. Side note but the rhyme actually I came up from the top of my head randomly when I thought abt him (and sobbed over his backstory once more my poor donut victim) I used to be afraid to draw ANY fanart at all, bc I was afraid, people would HATE my takes on characters I love - but now that I'm older and I basically dgaf abt what people have to say abt me and my tastes, I finally dared take a step into fanart territory and braved myself into drawing my fav depressed blorbo.

MIDDLE DRAWING - PAPER DOODLE. AH YES. THE DOODLES THAT TOOK 3 SCHOOL WEEKS NOW BASICALLY, 8HRS OF DRAWING BETWEEN LESSONS EACH. I was shaking SO HARD on a certain week, and the classmate sitting next to me POUNDED THE TABLE A LOT OUT OF BAD HABIT. I SEVERAL times ACCIDENTALLY in panic always yelled "BE CAREFUL!" until I was done re-tracing Moody Blues's sketch to clean it up properly 😭😭😭, ABBI LOOKS OK. NOT PROUD OF ABBI. BUT DAMN MOODY BLUES KINDA SLAYS. (Disregarding its funky gummy hair not connecting back to the shoulders which is somth I only now know after staring at Abbi and MB for HOURS to study how to draw them properly)

LOOONG PARAGRAPH AHEAD ABT TO EXPLAIN THAT DRAWING IN METICULOUS DETAIL;

MIDDLE DRAWING - THE ONE WHERE ABBACCHIO APPEARED IN MY LORE-HEAVY DREAM. IRL me was in the dream going home from work (late-shift), with a fictional coworker who looked real, but doesn't exist IRL, I forgot her appearance, so she's a grey blob in my doodle of what happened in the dream. BUT as I was walking through a park that VAGUELY, SLIIIGHTLY resemblences my IRL park in my town, suddenly a YU-GI-OH LOOKING FKN PURPLE PORTAL APPEARS. PINK LIGHTNING COMES OUT OF IT. SUDDENLY ANCIENT, BRITISH FKN VICTORIAN GHOSTS EMERGE AND START BALLROOM-DANCING??? <-This was the SECOND TIME. LATELY. I DREAMED OF GHOSTS TRYING TO HURT ME IN MY DREAMS. AND SOMEONE PROTECTING ME FROM THEM IN RESULT TOO THO. BUT. These ghosts were a pretty pastel-pink, tbh they looked rlly cool I might make em world-lore relevant ghosts or something LOL

^I freeze like I do IRL if something scares me and I just stand there and watch?? Suddenly this like British Monopoly-man mfer comes OUT. WITH A MODERN KITCHEN-KNIFE. YOU CAN'T GET MORE BRITISH THAN THAT. THE DAMN GHOST NEARLY SHANKED ME IN THE HEAD. I JUST BRACED AND ACCEPTED MY DEATH THEN AND THERE. THEN FKNNN MOODY BLUES OUT OF NOWHERE ALSO URYA'S THE BRITISH VICTORIAN GHOST SO I'M SAFE.

^ABBACCHIO PROTECTED ME. HE COMES OUT FROM THE TREE AND STARES DOWN THE GHOST. MFER STARES AT HIM ANGRILY BACK, SO THEY SEEMINGLY HAD BEEF IN THE DREAM, BEFORE I EXISTED. AND THE BRITISH GUY MUMBLES SOMETHING, PICKS UP HIS HAT, FADES AWAY INTO DUST LIKE IN MY WORLD-LORE ABOUT GHOST-DEATH. I JUST STARE IN AWE THAT FKN. LEONE ABBACCHIO FROM JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE IN THE 3D-ASBR MODEL LOOKING FLESH STOOD IN FRONT OF MY IRL HUMAN SELF. OF NOTE: I WAS LUCID-DREAMING. I WAS AWARE, HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST. SO I IMMEDIATELY GET UP, GET WOOZY BC BLOOD CIRCULATION IN MY LEGS SUCK, AND WANT TO ASK HIM IF WE CAN BE FRIENDS. BEFORE I CAN DO THAT. HE GETS ALL PISSY WITH ME AND IS REALLY ANGRY AND SNEERS.

--"You shouldn't be out at this time. Go home already. It's too dangerous."

"WAIT- BUT CAN I TALK TO YOU-"

--"NO. I SAID GO HOME!"

HE WAS ACTING LIKE CANON ABBI AND I APPRECIATE THAT THANKS DREAM, BUT MINUS POINTS FOR NOT ALLOWING ME TO SIMP. SO YEAH I DID RUN HOME AND I LISTENED. MY FRIEND FOLLOWED SUIT CONFUSED ASF.

--"Why were you surprised that he's real?? Did you NOT see him lurking behind the tree?!"

"NO??? YOU DID????" "

--"[GROAN] LOOK."

>SHOWS ME DRONE-FOOTAGE SOMEHOW OF ABBI DANCING W/ A GHOST. THEN I NOTICE IT'S JUST A MOODY BLUES REPLAY AS HIM. THEN. PUNCH THE VICTORIAN GUY. HE WAS SNEAKING UP ON THE GHOST THE WHOLE ARSE TIME AND MY BLIND ARSE DIDN'T SEE IT. SO YKNOW I WON'T MENTION THE REST OF THE DREAM BUT TURNS OUT THE BRITISH POSH GHOST WAS PART OF SOME MAFIA. HENCE THE BEEF W/ ABBACCHIO HAPPENED AND HIM STILL BEING IN PASSIONE IN THAT DREAM IN B4 TRAITORING DIA.

OK ART PROCESS OF THIS DRAWING; INBETWEEN IMAGE AHEAD I HAVEN'T DRAWN;

^THIS DRAWNIG IS JUST AN OFFICIAL ILLUSTRATION OF ABBACCHIO I HAVE EDITED. I DID *NOT* DRAW THAT. That is an official drawing from David Productions / Hirohiko Araki. SO YEAH I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THIS, NOR HAVE I DRAWN IT. DISCLAIMER OUT THE WAY B4 SOMEONE THINKS I'VE PUT EFFORT INTO THAT DRAWING DONE? GOOD!

I denoted, what might've caused Dreambacchio as I call him, to look like THAT. I was playing ASBR the same night I dreamt of this Abbi, but his model had colouration C. That explained, why his 3D ASBR model yelled at me and ONE SPECIFIC FRAME from the anime. Like I kid you not, IT'S THIS FRAME.

*ONCE AGAIN NOT MY DRAWING. DAVID PRODUCTIONS, JOJO PART 5 SCREENSHOT TAKEN FROM THE ANIME. NOT MY DRAWING. GOOD, MORE CLARIFICATION!!

HE YELLED EXACTLY LIKE THIS AT ME. IN THE DREAM. HIS FACE IS ONE-TO-ONE TRANSLATED ONTO A 3D MODEL OF HIM INSTEAD. IN THAT FKN DREAM. I REMEMBER HIS FACE CLEAR AS DAY IN THE DREAM. Like I kid you not, I am so obssessed w/ him lately, that I remembered PARTS OF MY DREAM CRYSTAL-CLEAR. That is something usually I DO NOT remember 100%, to my friends who know me, they know. SO YEAH TESTAMENT OF HOW MUCH I LIKE ABBI IG.

ALSO of note; I accidentally indoctrinated my friend Kobra to ALSO simp him, and now we're BOTH obssessed w/ Abbi. 😭 The catalyst to her liking him so much tho, is bc I apparently draw him hot??? LIKE IDK IF I DO. IF SOME JOJO FAN FINDS MY DRAWINGS OF HIM HOT. I'M GLAD. I TOO, LOVE DRAWING ABBACCHIO'S MAN BIDDIE-WINDOW. /hj

Unironically, the way he dresses I DREAM of dressing tho IRL....Imagine if I owned that 90's gucci coat Abbi's is based on, and fixed it to suit an Abbi cosplay. SOME DAY. I WILL COSPLAY AS HIM. THAT'S A THREAT. IDC IF BIOLOGICALLY I'M A WOMAN. I CAN DREAM TO BE LIKE THIS MAN. HE IS JUST VERY STYLISH AND I LOVE GOTHS.

--

MIDDLE DRAWING DIGITAL; JUST A MEME I LIKE I'VE REDRAWN TO REPLY TO MY FRIEND. I didn't watermark the panel above bc I traced a few things from the OG portrait here and there. THE PANEL BELOW THO. IS DRAWING WO/ TRACING. That one I watermarked at least bc I HAVE drawn it by myself. Above I was just lazy, sleepy and came freshly home from work, I SLAVE AWAY AFTER WORK, TO DRAW ABBI LATELY OBSSESSIVELY. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM BLAME MY AUTISM DFKLLSDG

Doodles below - also self-explanatory, done in the span of 15 mins. Since our school-PCs have Adobe programs and APPARENTLY Paint.Net I got DEVIOUS and just..The first file that exists on my school-server drive is THIS doodle of Abbacchio now. Using my German tax euro for the right things, y'all /lh

THAT CONCLUDES MY RAMBLES ABT THE PROCESSES OF THESE DRAWINGS I THINK. HELLA JOJO TAGS AHEAD BC HONESTLY I KINDA WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY DRAWING OF DREAM-ABBI THE MOST TBH. BC HE'S JUST SO PRETTTYYYYY-

I PLAN TO DRAW MORE ABBACCHIO....SO STAY TUNED IG IF YOU ALSO LOVE ABBACCHIO!!!! My art request ears are VERY open, if you want me to draw a jojo character next 👀👀👀 (THOUGH keep in mind, they will be minimal doodles, BC I am spending most of my effort on owed art I have to pay off still!!!!!!!)

HELLA TAG-AVALANCHE AHEAD. FAIR WARNING. I'M SO GLAD THE TUMBLR LAYOUT I USE PUTS THEM TO THE SIDE SO IT DOESN'T DISTRACT FROM THE DRAWINGSSS. SORRY IF YOU FIND TAGS ANNOYING BC AGAIN I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO STARE AT MY DREAM-ABBACCHIO TBH...I MIGHT TURN HIM INTO MY OWN CHARACTER OR HELL IF PEOPLE WANT IT...CAN BE SOME FORM OF JOJO AU. BUT IDK IF PEOPLE WANT AN AU WHERE THE PASSIONE GANGSTAR GANG FIGHT A BUNCH OF BRITISH MOBSTERS THAT ABDUCT TEENAGE GIRLS WITH SPECIAL EYES AND HAIR TO A CRUELLA DEVILLE TYPE OF WOMAN.

^YES ONCE AGAIN, WILD DREAM WITH WILD DREAM LORE.

[renetess-b]

Hiya!! i dunno if this blog is still active or if you've lost interest in mcsm but I was wondering if Lukas and Jesse ever had some sort of reconciliation-type beat moment in the swap au feel no pressure to answer this though!! was just curious (๑>؂•̀๑)

Heeey, it’s so heartwarming that people still like my AU and find it interesting! I know I’m not really active on here anymore but whenever I get an ask about this AU I’m always so hyped! I don’t mind getting asks about it even now, I still love it a lot and I’ll gladly answer whenever I can

I've decided to expand a bit and explain how their relashionship would work in general after ep 5, I hope you don't mind 😅

By the end of episode 5 Jesse and Lukas won’t have grudges against each other after they both apologise for making mistakes. Their relationship becomes be more or less like it was at the very beginning of episode 1, only 10 times more awkward and neither Lukas nor Jesse try to actively become friends, their only connection is that they are both friends with Aiden now. And since they live in separate worlds (because the Ocelots decided to stay and help people in Sky City world) they don’t even meet again for a long time and they're both fine with that.

Eventually, some time between first and second seasons, Jesse comes to visit Sky City world for Aiden but comes across Lukas and at first it’s as awkward as you’d expect, but once the topic of a building project comes up they manage to have an actual normal conversation over something they both love. After they stopped geeking out about all the cool stuff there's still a bit of that tension after all that they went through in season 1, mostly guilt that they both feel about their past mistakes, but they think maybe it's finally time to properly talk about all of that so both of them can finally be free of their burdens and make sure they's no hard feelings between them.

After that they've decided to keep in touch just a little bit more as they both can share thoughts and ideas about their shared passion of creating and building, they still don't meet that often, but not as little as before. Eventually they start going off topic in their letters and personal meetings and start talking about other stuff as well as they develop a closer bond and one day they both confidently can call each other friends, but that'd take some time

Btw I actually remembered a comic that I’ve had sketched out years ago about their first normal talk and I wanted to try redrawing it in my current style and I don’t want to make any promises that I’ll have the energy to finish and post it, but here’s a sketch of post-season 1 Lukas trying to ask Jesse "wtf are you doing in my house" in a polite way

[limeinaltime]

Quick Update

Hello. It's me.

So yeah, I, have been going through a weird rut where I draw stuff but don't want to post it, and a lot of fandom-related things (especially for Murder Drones, my god this fandom) have made me hesitant to post the refs and drawings I have done. I also have no had the energy to make a lot of full pieces despite wanting to, and I've mostly been doing sketches alongside working on TAOME's revision as well as the first chapter of Act 6.

Luckily I do want to post more so I'll try to eventually, but for now, TAOME's revisions are coming along nicely. Dialogue has been refined and added, characterization and interactions are still being refined and fleshed out, and I've been picking at all the little typos and errors I've been finding. I do want to try and finish before I take a trip later this month, but if not, at the very latest I do want to finish before the next 4/13, which will mark the second anniversary of this fic being made public! It might probably be that since I want to make this fic as high-quality as possible, but that brings me to the other reason why I've mostly just been reblogging and posting the occasional babble or ask.

I haven't been having fun with my art and writing.

Everything I've been making feels like a pressure I put on myself to get better, and I do want to deal with that before I start being more active on social media. With the influx of AI, studio drama and just everything happening in the world, I have felt both unhappy and unable to really create much of anything without feeling this pit, and being friends with or at least looking up to so many amazing artists, I think that daunting feeling of a skill gap has finally really sunk in. I don't want my work to be just rewarding. I want it to be fun.

So yeah, I will try to post some refs for the characters I have managed to work on as well as some sketches, and as for the fic, well

I'm really excited to work on Act 6. It's partially what I've been building up to for the past almost-two years, and it is a very big part of the plot. Like, one of the major plot sequences is this entire act. This does admittedly make me nervous, but then again, maybe it shouldn't. This is, at its core, an OC/Canon fic. I am supposed to be having fun with it. I'm allowed to hype it up. This is also the passion project that I have put my heart and soul into for most of my time in college. I don't want it to flop, and yet in a way, I feel like that want has sucked the fun out of making it.

I don't know what I'm going to be doing going forward, and the future isn't a given. The revisions will be posted with the start of Act 6 at some point, I can promise you that, and while I don't have any big pieces to post, I will definitely try to post more refs and the sketches I've done.

Btw I also have a Toyhouse that I've finally started utilizing so if you want to see some of the art and refs I've done, you can head over there too.

That's pretty much it. Remember to do your daily clicks, be healthy, support the oppressed and tell the oppressors to shove it up their asses, and have a good day :)

[refurrinnsixhundredninety]

Let me just send those here right away for the sake of not catching anyone out of guard

*Vietnam Posts*

Hi Guiz I'm Fox and I like drawing and history

I quite hate the Countryhumans fandom too (ironic, I Know) but if you think someone should be cancelled for drawing anthro countries dni <3333 that's something I could rant about for hours, so I'll talk about something else.

I'm looking forward making concept art for my evil twins that isn't a paper sketch, lol. They have been through years of butchered designs and lore, which ended in a result I'm fairly satisfied with. I love these guys and it'd be a pleasure to do something more pompous for them. I haven't been doing a lot of finished pieces (vulgo: digital art) lately, and that's something that actually frightened me about keeping a social media account. Guess it's time to split what I got into tiny amounts so I won't run over content quick, unless I feel good about posting my scribbles.

I won't say I'll be active thought, not like anyone is waiting for news from me anyway; Thank you for the attention regardless.

Btw yes there's no trace of Viet's twin in here 😭

[emiplayzmc]

GUESS WHO FIGURED OUT HOW TO TRANSFER PHOTOSHOP FILES TO IBISPAINT SO I CAN DRAW IN THE CAR

I CAN WORK ON THE HUMAN AU FANART ON MY TRIP 🗣🗣

This is the only partial WIP y'all will be seeing until it's finally done - everyone except Clark / Clickon (finishing him up rn) is still in the sketched phase :]

( BTW I will be on the road for like a week or two because I'll be heading to the other side of the country for my graduation ceremony :DD. Ya girl's gonna have graduated OFFICIALLY by next week, and no more school until art college 🥰🥰 Sooo that's why I wanted to transfer my WIP from my PC to my phone, lol. Will still be active here and everywhere else a lot but just in a car most of the time )

[pidgecv]

pre-bed thought dump so i can actually sleep without too many thought swirling around and clogging up my brain (my friends r all asleep so i can’t spam them instead 😔)

i miss turtle posting btw i’ve decided to do more turtle posting again (probs starting tomorrow w some sketches i’ve been hoarding or smth)

man my tumblr activity graph is gonna be wack anyways i finished reading orv, cried a few times, i’m emotionally devastated but at least FINALLY the boy is implied to be back. I have dnd at 9:30am and i have NOT told my parents (worse case i’ll walk there) yet i am. so tired. but my brain is zooming. i can not read very well. but my brain is ZOOMING.

here is a collection of some of my fav late orv chapters (a lot of them aren’t included bc i got tired of taking screenshots every damn chapter istg) ((also i read most of the novel ages ago now so this is from my recent “so the nightmare begins again” bout of hyperfixation))

i think i saved a fuck ton of lines i liked from some of the earlier chapters on my ipad but i don’t think i set my ipad to nightlight earlier and i’m not up for getting blue light biden blasted rn

i’ll go back to turtle posting pretty soon i think since last time i hyperfixated on orv i speedran the stages of hyperfixation and this time i’m even out of novel to read. i have reached my very own conclusion. my phone is lagging to hell when i type it’s taking my letters around a second to appear on the screen but i’m not exactly typing any slower so it backlogs and i can just sit there and watch the words be typed if i go fast enough lollll.

i’ve gotta draw raph in my au man. i gotta make him interesting bc i love him he is literally wonderful i just really suck at drawing him and leo bc rise is an artstyle that’s a total 180 from the stuff i’ve drawn previously. i continue to amass more art styles, soon no one will be safe. I just want to do them justice. they’re not the main character but they’re important and i feel bad for not fleshing them out well yet. i want to write them well and i want to write them with importance. i want every character i write to be with a purpose. to have potential for their own stories. i don’t want them to be hollow side characters, and the first step to achieving that is giving them designs i love. i love to look at and draw. i’ve achieved that with donnie and mikey and i’m starting to with leo but i’m so intimidated by raph because as important as he is as a character to the story i want to write he is by far the hardest for me to draw in the way that i think fits. in the way that i want. because i know what i want in his design and character, but i can’t quite get it right in the context of the artstyle i want to draw my au in. might have to bend some of the stylistic rules i set for myself to get him to work unfortunately.

[moxxnie]

⚘ INTRO 𝇃 ✿

Moxx! – she/he/they – FR/ENG – 18↑

✧ Hiya! Twitter has been crumbling down for the past years — and even if I'm not insanely active, I still like to share the few things I can make with fandoms I love, so here goes! Finally giving Tumblr a try.

✧ For starters, I'm Moxx! I'm a writer, and I post mainly on AO3. A very slow writer. As in "actually-I-think-I-haven't-written-a-single-thing-since-2024-started" slow. Whatever! We're here to have fun.

✧ have my AO3, which contains both SFW and NSFW content : https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moxxnie

✧ I draw too! Very, very rarely. I'm lying, actually, I draw quite often but I never finish my sketches so I just have a bunch of stuff laying around, waiting to be continued, maybe posted one day. Sigh.

✧ I won't dedicate myself to a fandom entirely – I'll interact with stuff based on my current fixations / interests ! Right now it's mostly Baldur's Gate 3 and Hazbin Hotel though... Maybe I'll come back to some hoyoverse games at some point.

Rn, I'm LOVING Spiritfarer on the switch. Such a gorgeous game. Heartbreaking. Love it.

✧ I'm currently studying to become a librarian! Books!! Books everywhere!! Yay!! Dewey decimal system!! Cataloguing!! I'm OKAY!!

✧ Last but not least, an important point i'd like to mention : I am profiction. That means I thoroughly believe that one's preferences and likes in fiction do not reflect one's morals. This comes in contradiction with the belief that "fiction always impacts reality", so if that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to walk away!

This encompasses all of fiction – from ships, to dynamics, to themes...

Which means I am very much against censorship and other similar attempts at restricting what fiction allows us to explore. If I don't like something, I don't make it everyone else's problem. I don't purposefully look for it, I don't spread allegations — I scroll past, or i block, and move on. So should you! It's very therapeutic. A lot more than harassment.

Aside from the obviously SFW and fluffy/angsty content I'll bring, I will be creating and interacting with NSFW & what is now called "dead dove" content. Gore, dark themes, unhealthy dynamics – you name it – I love twisted stories. So I'll kindly ask minors not to interact with that stuff! I'll always tag properly so you don't have to read or see something you're not comfortable with! :)

Btw, I'm very uninterested in useless banter and discourse. Therefore, if you don't like something, mute / ignore / block ! <3

Lots of love! Muah ⋆

[ink-the-artist]

hey Ink! not here to ask you about art you didn't make this time, lol.

I finally did some experimenting with my colored pencils using some of your tips & tricks, and what I did looks pretty cool but HOO BOY did I underestimate how long it would take lmao. I only did like 2 little drawings, no backgrounds, and I started getting frustrated at it taking so long despite having fun doing it.

doing stuff like this will obviously take more time than what I usually do and I feel a bit silly for not realizing that lol. anyway, I was wondering if you had any tips for not getting frustrated, bored, or burned out? there's probably some basic stuff like "take breaks" but I figured I'd ask just in case you had other advice, lol. and maybe I'll be able to build up some drawing stamina too since I don't usually work on the same thing for long.

thanks for making those tutorials/guides btw! the thing about going over your sketch in a color and then erasing the graphite is really neat! fun to try and do more of a lineless style. :)

Oh man yeah, the time it takes to finish something was pretty much the reason I used to not like colored pencil at all for a while and part of what got me past that was just, starting to use less space on a paper. which sounds pretty obvious but my previous experience with colored pencil was having to use it on these big sheets of paper in my art classes and that was TEDIOUS (Ik this is also the reason so many people hate cross-hatching, because they only ever did it on big surfaces when taught it in an art class and they dont realize its not nearly so tedious if you shrink the surface down a bunch) Ik you mentioned that your drawings are little but you could try something even smaller and see if it helps, colored pencil is v good for detailed art so even a smaller drawing can look nice

also what I find most tedious in using colored pencil now is not how long it takes but whenever there's a lot of really boring coloring to do, like if there's a big space thats just one solid color that feels way more tedious to fill in than a space full of detail with different colors and shading etc, even though the second one takes longer. for me at least when the coloring isn't boring I actually enjoy taking the time and getting lost in the details

Try see if whatever you're drawing is actually best to do in colored pencil. if you're doing something with lots of flat color it might not look very different from if you used marker or colored it digitally, and you end up spending more time on it without getting any of the benefits of colored pencil in the end result. and similarly you could see if what you're drawing is best to do ONLY in colored pencil! you can color something with marker or watercolor first and then add all the texture and detail later in colored pencil. this usually really speeds things up and can be especially helpful if you're already comfortable with a different medium that you can just add colored pencil on top of

ok last thing is there's a LOT of different styles and ways of using colored pencil out there and some take much more or much less time than others. most of my colored pencil works posted here are done in a realism style that's more time consuming but some like the more colorful creature art (like Creature Activities or Leaving Milk Out For The Neighbors) have a style that take way less time. I def recommend looking at other artists who use colored pencil and seeing how they go about it because there's lots of different ways to do it! I don't know too many other artists that use a lot of colored pencil but one I really like is @hannahlockillustration ! if anyone else has any recommendations pls comment them

[dreadnotau]

Happy one year of Dread Not, everyone!

Yeah, it really has been that long already. It honestly doesn’t feel like it’s been a year at all! Even if you just recently found the comic, or stuck with it since the first promotional post, thank you. This project has been one of the most fulfilling I’ve taken on in a long time. And, as usual, I’d like to say some things on this occasion.

Firstly, hoo boy the numbers are bigger than I imagined they’d be. As of writing this, the Tumblr account has 295 followers, and the Twitter account is sitting at a comfortable 41. That is a LOT of people. As some of you may recall, I made a milestone post when we reached 100 followers on Tumblr, and I genuinely thought that would be the biggest milestone I reach that year.

I didn’t even notice when we got past 200 followers (most of whom were coming from my youtube channel of all things), and now we’re close to 300! That’s madness!! Especially for a project like this that’s being handled by exactly one person with minimal help from a friend. (That friend is @meowchela btw I feel like I don’t promote her enough. She’s basically the reason this comic exists at all, she’s wonderful).

Obviously I don’t want this whole post to just be about the metrics, I wanna talk about other things that surround this comic. Like how much of a mess working on it tends to be. I don’t wanna turn this into me whining about school but, long story short, I’m in my last year of high school right now, prepping for college and writing my thesis (I think that’s the right English word…) and it’s all VERY hectic.

I’m not gonna pretend that I’m trying my hardest at all of this, I will be the first to say my time management is awful, I’m just bringing this all up for anyone wondering why updates are so slow, and why I missed the page upload on catholic Christmas. It all gets a bit hard to keep up with sometimes, but I won’t stop working on this comic, that’s for sure! Paradoxically, somehow I’m more motivated to work on Dread Not if I should be doing other things. I think it’s pure spite at this point.

Speaking of responsibility, I promised more bonus content both on Tumblr and on Twitter on several occasions and, as you all can probably see, that has not happened yet. The simplest explanation is that I often don’t have ideas for what kind of bonus content to even make. Sketches of the characters? Finished drawings of the characters? Scrapped scenes from the comic? Non-canon scenarios and scenes? The characters’ design references? Canon facts about the characters and the world that I wasn’t able to include in-comic? More speedpaints??

I’m sure these all sound great on paper, but I have no idea how much time and energy I’d have to potentially allocate for each, and how much they’d actually impact people’s interest in the comic. For now, the bonus content will stay minimal until I can think of something reliable and interesting to release as said bonus content.

If you’re really invested in Dread Not, though, I’d recommend joining the discord server! It’s not too big, it has around 20 people in it so far, and I like to think it’s a fairly casual server! The reason I’m promoting it here is because it helps with my motivation to work on the comic a LOT. It really makes a world of difference when you can talk to people one on one instead of just relying on numbers on a post.

If you don’t want to join the server but still want to share your thoughts on the comic, the ask box is always open, and so are my DMs! Both here and on my main Tumblr. My main Tumblr got a bit of an upgrade recently, so I’ll maybe be more active there than I was before. Maybe. No promises.

On the bright side, I have nearly the whole story planned out now! I know that might not sound like much, but the story has been very loose with it’s structure so far (as you may have noticed). The story jumps from character to character at near random, some ideas are left hanging for tens of pages on end until they’re picked up again, and the narration in the yellow boxes feels arbitrary at best and out of place at worst, at least when I go back and reread it myself. This is because act 1 was sketched out in it’s entirety before I started actually fully rendering and releasing the pages online. So, the story of act 1 was made in a very “explorative” way, in that I had only vague concepts I wanted to get down on paper eventually in my head, and a blank canvas to work with. The pacing and structure of it has been a little lacking because of that, and I’m doing my best to right that wrong by planning out acts 2, 3 and 4 before beginning to sketch them properly.

Speaking of, I can finally put a somewhat number to how long this story will be! All of what’s been released so far, and what I’ll release in the foreseeable future, is only part of Act 1. Act 2 will be a bit more hectic, and although I don’t have the exact number yet, I’m *assuming* the overall page number of it will be similar to Act 1. Act 3 will be a doozy, as it’ll technically have two intermissions as well. And Act 4 is a beast of it's own. It’s all almost too long to even think about without getting stressed immediately. But I know it’ll be worth it! Now that I have an actual path set out for me, I can try and tackle this growing giant of a project with more of a plan than I had when I started.

Although this is Dread Not’s first anniversary, I’ve actually been working on the comic for quite a bit longer than that. If we don’t count the concept phase, then just the comic itself is nearly two years old! (Jesus, time flies) But I do want today, the 23rd of January, to be the proper and official Dread Not Day. It doesn’t have any significance other than bringing a smile to my face, though. And hopefully to yours, too!

Here’s to another great year of working on this behemoth of a project, and probably several more after that because this story isn’t gonna be done anytime soon! Pour one out for my drawing hand, folks, it’s a long road ahead.

And, again, thank you for reading. Thank you for sticking with me and for enjoying what I’ve made. I hope you’ll enjoy what comes next just as much, maybe more. Stay tuned!

[bokutosbiceps]

I noticed you havent done any general boyfriend headcanons for Akashi yet🥺please could I request some? Sfw please and lots of fluff☺️ (btw I’m so happy you’re an active blog that takes requests for knb and also write amazingly😭💖)

thank you for your kind words, my love !!!!!!!!!!!! i will ABSOLUTELY write this for you. honestly, the fact that no one has requested general hcs for akashi is a C R I M E + i’m glad you’ve stepped up to the challenge. also, even if i stop writing for every other fandom, i will never stop writing for knb lol it literally changed my life idk. anyways, i hope you enjoy :3

note. this is post-bokushi. so he’s got two red eyes + is kind lolol

second note. bokushi is when he’s got heterochromatic eyes + is a whole asshole. oreshi is when he’s basically a shoujo prince

akashi seijuurou

he’s kind of the perfect boyfriend ????

his emotional intelligence is so high, he’d always be able to tell when you’re jealous, sad, upset, or bothered by something

he’s always so caring + doting

he will ask you what’s wrong until you open up to him, + with his gentle expertise, it doesn’t take long for you to open up to him

he’s so trustworthy + dependable + reliable you can literally count on him for anything 

often times, he’ll feel insecure in your relationship, not because of anything you’ve done, but just because he’s always had a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to other people

he feels as though you could have anyone you wanted + he’s confused as to why you chose him

so you have to give him lots of reassurance + love + affection,,,which,,,is that really even a problem tho like who wouldn’t want to snuggle him ????

anyways, he really really likes to show you off, but that also comes with a price because people do tend to hit on you

he doesn’t really get jealous often, but when he does--its bad

he is V E R Y jealous

not because he thinks you’ll up + leave him for someone else (pls, he trusts you) but because he doesn’t want anyone else to even breathe the same air as you

that being said, there are pros + cons to showing you off, but he still likes to because he wants the whole world to see that this beautiful person chose him above everyone else

he’s also very proud of you in everything that you do. 

if you’re an artist, he’ll watch you paint/draw/sketch/mold/sculpt + he’ll praise your finished product or encourage you to keep going if you lose motivation

if you’re a writer, he’ll read over everything you want him to + give constructive criticism or high praises on your work

if you’re an athlete, he goes to EVERY GAME/MATCH/EXHIBITION that he can make + he cheers you on, no matter if you win or lose

he will also play your sport w you, just for fun

if you’re a musician, he could listen to you play a l l day long

if you play something he plays, it’s even better because he’ll play w you

honestly, there’s nothing this boy wouldn’t do for you

a few of his favorite activities to do with you include...

horseback riding (if you’ve never done it, he’ll get you into it slowly + he’ll even let you use his horse because his horse is probably perfect lolol)

going to the beach (but also he gets jealous at people ogling at your body so probably a more private beach)

just chilling (cuz he’s a cuddle bug change my mind)

i know this isn’t sfw but he’s got a daddy kink goodbye

ANYWAYS he gives lots of kisses + his favorite place to kiss you are your forehead, hand/fingers, and obviously lips

that’s all for now foLKS I’LL BE HERE ALL YEAR

[brakken-spideyverse]

Answerin’ older asks :)

Sorry some of these are so late! Answers below the cut

@everythingsucksbutthatsokay​ asked:

So what exactly was the nature of “the Baxter Building accident��? Is it similar to the set up in the Ultimate comics and Fant4stic movie, or something else?

Similar, yes. I wanted to play on the arrogant side of Reed by having him essentially say “hey, this cosmic ray siphon that would be highly dangerous if my calculations are even slightly off? I’m gonna activate it in the middle of a city.”

While it looks like a regular skyscraper from the outside, the top floors of the Baxter Building are only accessible to the four of them because the molecules are completely unstable.

@c0smicfool asked:

Hi so I got inspired by your redesigns and came up with my own redesign idea for Ben as Scarlet Spider, even if it’s not for the old contest or anything is it cool to submit it? Also love you’re redesigns and how creative they get with drawing on characteristics to create something entirely new

If you wanna just post it and tag me so I see it I’m more than fine with that! Always happy to see folks’ designs :) Also, if you have a twitter, tag me there! twitter.com/makeoververse 

@mackysack asked:

Who's your favorite comic artist all time?

Of all time? Dang, uhhh.... first that comes to mind is Takeshi Obata, who drew Death Note and Bakuman. But for western comics, gosh - I really like Sara Pichelli’s work? Old Romita stuff is great. A lot of the Spidey artists over the years really, but I’m biased. I feel like I’m blanking on somebody really obvious.

If you want an off-field pick, Kelley Jones’ Batman art is top tier. If they make a Spider-Verse style movie of Batman, I want his work to be one of the main influences.

@avenger09 asked:

Outside of Spider-Man's rogue's gallery whose your favourite Marvel villain?

Magneto, probably! Not typically big on X-Men myself, but he’s rad. Will finish the character sketch for him at some point <.<

Anon said:

WAIT you can't just tell us you have an ASM3 script under your belt???? Now it's all I can think about???? By the way Electro looks amazing as does the rest of your universe but PLEASE OH PLEASE LET US SEE THIS SCRIPT!!!

Thank you! And yes I will share it eventually! It’s currently getting read by close friends for feedback but it’s something I’m sure I’ll show to y’all someday.

Anon asked:

How did Eddie and Peter know eachother before he turned into Venom?

They didn’t, so much. They go to the same school and I think Eddie crushed on Peter a little from afar, but he’s really just a tragic pawn in the Symbiote’s obsession. Viewing the black suit story as a toxic breakup, I see this version of Eddie as someone being used solely to get at Peter. An innocent who is thrown into the deep end of all the built up trauma and monster stories.

Anon asked:

Will Harry become a bad guy or still a good guy? Since in the your comics, it shows that he finally knows Peter as Spider-Man and already knows his father's secret identity.. will he? (Btw love your arts so much!!!

Thank you!! Harry would become a bad guy for a bit. He’s real hurt and confused by everything that happens and aims that pain at Peter. But he can heal, with time and the right company.

Anon asked:

here about the spidersonas in the spiderverse comic?

I did! That’s so cool that they acknowledged the fanbase in that way. Here’s hoping for something like that in ITSV 2? No-one’s called me about Abrakknid yet tho, ha ;_;

--

Thanks all, hope I can keep up a bit better with questions in the future <3

[khushboodarfool]

I cannot make this stuff up

Today was a day for the books. 

We vaccinated 360 patients with Moderna COVID vaccine. I was so exhausted. apparently the memo that our hospital is giving is that we can vaccinate patients who have had COVID, as long as they are no longer symptomatic. The procedure is that we go to their cars garbed up in PPE (double masked, gown, face shield), and I ended up vaccinating 3 patients like this. One of the patients, had several really good questions but it took 30 minutes of us interacting. Then, when she felt comfortable vaccinating, she had a coughing fit and coughed really close to my face shield. She was masked, and I was appropriately garbed, but it still gave me a lot of anxiety. I came back in and threw away all of my PPE and washed my hands twice lol. I was so shook by the experience. I’ve interacted with several COVID patients at this point. But something about the way it was unexpected, and I was very close during the coughing fit was a bit jarring. If I wasn’t literally injecting the vaccine when this happened, I would have backed away and let her finish but I wasn’t able to.

Anyways, after I got a hold of myself (30 minutes), I started vaccinating more outpatients. I ended up looking at my phone while I was charting, and I saw that I had 6 missed calls from my childhood best friend. My heart sank because I literally thought someone died. I called her back to see what was going on, and the conversation was just so bizarre. She asked me if I was busy, and I told her kind offfffff, but it sounds like an emergency so tell me whats going on. Long and short of it, she told me that one of her colleagues told her she could leave her rotation early because nobody really notices for that particular rotation. So she took it one step further and didn’t come in for two days. The attending (or chief of staff?), ended up asking her if she was on that particular rotation because it sounds like news got out. Let me tell you, this woman is not one to play hookie, she’s the most studious, diligent, hardworking person I know so this SCREAMS burnout. But it doesn’t help that she was venting to someone who is also very burnt out, in the middle of getting slammed by patients. So I am sorry to admit, I was more confused than empathetic. While she was venting to me, my boss basically checked up on me to see what the hold up was for vaccinating, and I had to abruptly hang up. I felt super embarrassed because things are not good with me and my boss right now, and I feel like I looked sketch. 

So that whole thing started consuming my mind. I ultimately messaged her when I got home way later because she texted me saying “I feel dumb and stupid x.x i don’t think I would have done this if I wasn’t feeling down and depressed”. My heart sank reading that. We literally message everyday, and I had no idea she was struggling so much. I think its because of COVID and just the rigor of residency but I am also afraid that there is something deeper and she just didn’t tell me? I really want things to be better for her, and I would be so sad to know that she didn’t feel like she could tell me where she’s at for things to get so bad.

Okay, all of that happens. Some day right? But wait...its not over.

Security came up to me, and said “wow what a day, so thankful we’re done vaccinating!”, which was really awkward because I still had 2 doses left. We frantically got 2 patients at 5, and then it turns out another pharmacist also had 3 doses and didn’t tell anyone to rally for 3 more patients so we ended up wasting 3 doses today. Which kinda made me feel some type of way because why did I go through hell and back for these 2 patients even though we ended up wasting doses anyways SMH. But every dose counts, and atleast I was able to take responsibility for mine.

While I was waiting for these 2 patients to come, I started charting like my life depended on it. All of a sudden, one of the pharmacists came up to me and told me that EHR was down throughout the hospital (ofcourse it is when we have to chart 400 patients worth of vaccinations, that we had ZERO time to take care of between patients)  but the laptops still had access to EHR through WIFI somehow. So he asked me if he could use my laptop after I’m done, which made me feel bad because I knew it was going to be awhile. 

Thennn my technicians came up to me as they were leaving for the day. One of them said “Hey do you know what’s going on?” and I responded “uhhh EHR is down?”, and they both laughed and said “there is an active shooter in our city”. I think I was too exhausted to process this news at this time. I was literally like what else is new. That’s great. This is very weird btw because we live in a really rural area where violent crimes are SUPER rare. So I did what any insane burnt out pharmacist would do in my situation, I kept charting. Despite knowing about this shooter, multiple people were able to go home at 5. 

My patients came in, and as I was vaccinating my second patient. I saw security turn off all of the lights in the hospital. Then, all of a sudden on the intercom I hear “ATTENTION ATT - LOCKDOWN, LOCKDOWN, LOCKDOWN”. So I took my patient into the pharmacy (we have a booth set up outside of the pharmacy for COVID vaccines), and then we waited for the clear in the pharmacy. 

Apparently there were multiple active shooters (3 that we know of with rifles...could be more). 2 police officers got shot, and one got grazed. My close friend’s fiance is a cop. He is quarantining due to a COVID exposure, and they had to pull him back in because of this. So bizarre that tonight in our small town, there was an area surrounded by cops and apparently a helicopter (which idk where we got that from). 5.5 hours later and she just messaged me that it looks like everything is okay. I’m still holding my breath, I just want to make sure he makes it home okay. I didn’t realize how much I care about him and appreciate him until I got super emotional while praying for him. He has always been sweet and protective of me. He got me flowers after my car accident, and always gets me tools and gear because he’s just that kind of person. My friend is pregnant with his baby. I feel like this in aggregate is too much for one person to deal with. Not to mention, she works in the same toxic, COVID infested environment as me. 

I ended up talking to my man about all of this briefly and I feel like he just didn’t get the immensity of crazy and stress of this day. So I kind of got snippy and ultimately he decided to let me have a little moment and eat dinner alone (partly because I kinda asked him to), but idk it sucks to come home and feel misunderstood after a long day. I do feel bad because he was still listening to me ramble about the craziness, and I know work is crazy for him too. 

Gahh. I’ll try to call him and see if I can make amends. 

Here’s to hoping tomorrow will be better. 

[bigskydreaming]

In the vein of Dick’s feelings about his first family, pre-Bruce, that’s another reason why ‘Ric’ Grayson bugs me. Other than, y’know, everything about that stupid storyline BUT WHATEVER.

Anyway, I know Rebirth and nu52 before it both have tweaked Dick’s origin considerably, so who even knows what the current ‘canon’ take is, not this guy that’s for damn sure. But until he lost his memories, he was still going by Dick, so unless otherwise specified, his reasons for going by Dick should be just as true for ‘Ric’ Grayson....since he’s still supposed to remember up through Bruce taking him in after his family died. It was only everything after that point that became foggy or whatever.

But Dick only goes by Dick instead of another variation of Richard, because Dick is what his dad called him. And the REASON Dick’s dad called him that, is because Dick was named after his Uncle Richard, his dad’s brother. And his uncle’s preferred nicknames were Rick or sometimes Rich.

And although most adaptations like cartoons and movies and one-shot origin issues streamline the events of Dick’s origin, and go with the idea that it was just his parents who died that night....pre-Flashpoint, it was canon that the Flying Graysons act was never just Dick and his parents. It also included his Uncle Rick and his Aunt Karla, and their son, his older cousin Johnny. Dick was the only one not performing in the final act. It was Dick’s parents AND his aunt and cousin who all died that night....and his Uncle Rick fell too, but survived. However, he ended up with brain damage and has been in an assisted living facility ever since, and that’s why Dick had no legal guardian.

But yeah, the real reason Dick goes by Dick, is because as far as he and every one in his family, every one in the circus was concerned, it was his Uncle Richard who was Rick or Rich. Everyone called him Dick so there was no confusion. And that’s why Dick has never been willing to entertain the idea of going by a different version of his name - his only other living blood relative already has claim to the other variations, in Dick’s eyes.

Tangent - the only vaguely interesting about the amnesia plot actually is the one angle they kinda unintentionally laid out, but haven’t done anything with. The difference in personalities between Dick and ‘Ric’, with Ric being angry and abrasive and just taking a job as a taxi driver and not wanting anything to do with being a superhero....given that he supposedly now has no clear memories of anything after his first few months living with Bruce, his personality change actually makes a lot of sense with his pre-Flashpoint origin at least. Again, I don’t know what the ‘official’ canon is these days, but with the pre-Flashpoint origin, the one where Dick ended up in juvie after his parents died and was only taken in by Bruce after he’d already spent a month there....Ric’s new personality fits that perfectly. It was not an easy transition, originally. Like the way its presented in cartoons and one-shots, as though Bruce just instantly decided Dick was going to come live with him because he bonded with him over their shared tragedy.....that’s not how it played out in the comics. 

In origin stories like Robin: Year One Annual and others, yes Bruce was there the night Dick’s family died. Yes, he felt a connection with Dick because of the similarity to his own tragedy. Yes, he comforted Dick that night, because of that. But then he left Dick in the hands of the case worker who showed up to take custody of Dick, and that was that. Bruce had ZERO intention of taking Dick in himself at that point. He did believe Dick about Zucco having sabotaged the trapeze and started looking into it as Batman right away...but THAT was how the ‘connection’ he felt with Dick manifested for him. He did what he felt Dick would want, would help him the most, get closure for him...the same thing as Bruce had wanted himself, after his parents were murdered. And that was as far as it went. 

Even a lot of readers and fic writers who do acknowledge the juvie part of Dick’s origin treat it as though he was stuck there for a few days while Bruce had to navigate through red tape to get custody of him, but again, that’s not how the actual comics detailing that period depicted it. In that annual I mentioned, he was in there for a month, and it was established that he basically had to fight to survive against bigger boys every single day he was in there. His first night, three guys beat him so badly he was convinced he would have died if the guards hadn’t stopped it. And eventually, after a month had gone by, using his acrobat skills, he escaped. (After Devin Grayson retconned Dick as being Romani, the couple times Dick’s talked about this period of his life since then, he mentions that his English was not very good at the time, and it was this combined with his heritage and circus background specifically that led his racist case worker to decide that obvsly, he was destined to wind up in juvie anyway, so no need to waste a bed elsewhere on him. There he mentions being in juvie for closer to three months, but the takeaway that whatever the actual length of time he was in there, it was definitely somewhere between 1-3 months).

But after that, he had enough of getting the shit beaten out of him every day and was convinced the promises of a new family and getting out of there at some point were all just lies, so he parkoured his way out of the yard and over the fence at night.

And ran into Batman on the rooftops.  

Yeah. Batman was just out doing Batman stuff, and he ran into Dick Grayson running around Gotham’s rooftops with no shoes and detention center-issued clothes. He told Dick he believed him about Tony Zucco and was looking into the case, and then told him Dick couldn’t be of any help to him as a fugitive, and convinced him to go back to the JDC and he’d make sure he got out another way. (Dick btw, cynically thought ‘yeah right, why should I trust a guy who doesn’t even show his face’, and pretty much only goes back to the JDC because he’s sure Batman would just drag him back there anyway if he didn’t.) The very next day, Dick’s case worker showed up for the first time since she’d left him there and led him outside, saying someone had volunteered to take him in, and basically just handed him over to Alfred who was waiting with a car. 

So...yup. Bruce had felt a connection with Dick that night and empathized with him....but that hadn’t led him to just decide ‘hey I’m gonna take in this traumatized kid, I’m obviously the best candidate for that.’

Bruce took Dick in himself because he felt GUILTY.

Because he hadn’t even known Dick was in juvie. Hadn’t thought twice about checking up on the kid after that night, focused totally on just building a case against Zucco, as well as his other cases. I think there was a reference in an issue where Dick said something about how Bruce had made sure his family’s funeral arrangements were paid for, but that same issue Dick said he hadn’t even been allowed to GO to the funeral, so its not like Bruce was there with him like a lot of headcanons and fics depict it. DICK wasn’t even there.

Nope, it was good old fashioned guilt that motivated Bruce to take a personal hand in Dick’s well-being. Because he just happened to run across Dick on a roof randomly one night. THAT’S the pre-Flashpoint origin of the Batfamily. Random coincidence and a guilty conscience.

And it goes a long way towards explaining a lot of Bruce’s later actions in canon. He met Jason when the latter was stealing his tires, when Bruce missed Dick and quite probably felt guilty about driving Dick away. And he runs into this homeless kid who reminds him of Dick that SECOND night he met him, and who is actively engaging in criminal activities and thus could easily end up in juvie, the very place that had traumatized Dick so much because Bruce had just trusted the system with him back then. Its not surprising in that context that Bruce made the leap to thinking he was a better option than leaving Jason in CPS’s hands or with someone who might’ve been less patient with him, less motivated to make sure he stayed out of the JDC, no matter what that took.

I’ve always felt it explains everything about Dick’s choice to make Robin his persona. In one issue, when Dick’s sketching out possible costume ideas, Alfred asks him why not something like Batboy, or some variation of his mentor’s name. Dick said that he wanted something that was completely his, that Bruce didn’t give him. That’s why he picked Robin, his mother’s nickname for him, and why his costume was just a version of what he’d worn in the circus, a reminder of when he was happiest. 

But IMO its also why he’s always insisted on being referred to as Batman’s partner rather than his sidekick. Because Robin was never meant to be an extension of Batman, a part of HIS mission. Robin was Dick’s own mission. Because for all that he and Bruce had the murder of their parents as a shared tragedy, a connection.....it didn’t motivate him in the same way it motivated Bruce, because for Dick, that was only PART of the tragedy. Everything that came after that traumatized him, shaped him just as much. His trauma didn’t start and finish with their murder, and bringing in Zucco could never bring closure for everything he’d been through because he fell through the cracks of a flawed system. So Robin was never meant to be an extension of Batman, something to help Bruce fulfill his personal crusade. Robin was more about using Batman to fulfill his own crusade.

Bruce created Batman for the criminals who caused tragedies like the one he’d been shaped by. Dick created Robin for the people left behind after those tragedies, like he’d been. Just as everything about Batman was meant to frighten and intimidate the people he focused on, everything about Robin was meant to cheer up and comfort the people HE focused on. Bright, happy colors to help soothe a shaken victim while Batman dealt with the perpetrator. Light-hearted jokes and laughter to remind people that even after something terrible happened, there were still good things in the world. 

Dick designed Robin to be everything Batman WASN’T. To do everything Batman didn’t do for him.

So, just saying....as much as I hate the Ric Grayson storyline and still think it was a mistake....it COULD have been an interesting examination of nature vs nurture. How much of Dick Grayson is just innate, and how much would he be different if his experiences were different, like he never remembered being Robin.

Because a Ric Grayson who had no clear personal memories after his first few months with Bruce would absolutely be as bitter and angry as Ric was first shown being at the start of the amnesia plot. Because in those first months with Bruce, Dick had been very, very angry indeed. 

Being Robin is what changed Dick, helped him heal. And not just because it let him put away Tony Zucco. Because even after he’d endured terrible tragedies, it could still remind him that he’d been happy once, and he could be happy again. And as Robin, he reminded other people of that too.