#bttf rant

[daryfromthefuture]

i'm on the train and bored and still have an hour to go, so TIME TO RANT ✨️

and i'm choosing to make a list of bttf scenes i would have done differently/things i would have added because i like disagreeing with bob gale as if i owned this franchise

this is maybe an unnecessary change, but personally, i would have preferred if there were more instances of marty trying to warn doc about his death in part 1. we see it when doc demonstrates the model and then later twice on november 12 (before he writes the letter and then before marty has to leave), but i feel like it would have been more emotionally impactful if he had tried it more than that and only at the very end given up and written that letter.

SHOW DOC PLAY SAX. LIKE BRO. they could have had a concert 😭 imagine doc crashing the dance and playing sax with marty on stage (take this bullet point with a grain of salt, i'm only half serious. but still seeing doc play sax would have been badass)

the most obvious point of all obvious points, add the goddamn lone pine mall hug. the entire fandom agrees it's canon, and i remember a post going around speculating that they did indeed record a hug and keep the secret footage somewhere at universal lmao. but all jokes aside, this hug was SO necessary. every sane person would be waiting for it when watching the movie. marty is literally on the ground, bawling his eyes out, thinking his friend is gone, and us heartbroken audience members don't even get a hug to soothe our souls. i haven't paid much mind to doc and marty's relationship when i first watched bttf, but even past me was expecting a hug. good thing bobby fixed it in the musical

MORE JENNIFER. don't knock that girl out for 75% of the movie, please. she deserved better, and i wish bttf 2 would have put more emphasis on her as a character and how she's like and stuff. i hate to see it, but she's such a surface character that we barely know anything about (in my opinion), and that's just sad. she could very well have gone to the cafe 80s with marty and kept him grounded and stuff.

honestly, i maybe even would have kept that deleted 1985a scene with dave. we don't get to see marty's siblings at all in that timeline aside from a mention from biff, and it would have been interesting to see.

this is quite a jump in time, but i wish bob gale would have expanded on the scene in bttf 3 in which doc tells marty that he wants to stay behind in 1885 because of clara. this might be my fanfic brain speaking, but i see so much conflict potential. it would have been wild to see doc and marty argue, maybe even fight for the first time in the trilogy, and picture the emotional turmoil both of them were going through. if i had been marty, i would have snapped, not gonna lie. like, yeah, i get that doc found the love of his life but after all the lectures he'd given marty and after all those times marty was willing to rip apart the fabric of time just to keep doc alive, that man just goes "sorry marty, i met a woman i fell in love with, thanks for saving my life so i can live it out HERE. you go back home and idk clean my lab" >:(. this will forever be a pet peeve hahahaha

WHY does doc just FLY OFF on that DAMN TRAIN? i have to admit, it is an epic ending and feels sort of celebratory, but how can he say that he had to get his dog BEFORE even MENTIONING marty, giving him a photo, shake his hand as if they were work colleagues and nothing more, and then LEAVE? WHAT??? at least talk to him for a bit longer, tell your best friend where you've been, whether he will see you again and that you cherish him for god's sake. if you already had to give him false hopes by getting on the train only to fly off on the hoverboard later 🙄

[alex-a-fans]

Alex's rant on why Jules is docs boy

Now you might wonder a few things:

"Alex, what the hell? It's an unusual post from you?" An unlikely comment, but please read till the end for a small surprise :)

"Doc does not play favorites" You are right, but I am taking the "Parents kid" saying as which parent the kid has a stronger bond with. (Verne is Claras boy)

"Doctober?" Nah, mate. (Okay but maybe.)

LET'S BEGIN! Spoilers for animated series.

First, First ever animated episode, and in the first live-action sequence we find out Doc and Jules sometimes invent together.

I will mention that Verne thinks Jules is docs favorite when he loves them equally. Let's move on.

LOOK AT THEM.

Committing theft. Listen, it can be a very normal father and son experience. And it also can be very bonding.

Second, "Witchcraft"

DO. I. HAVE. TO. SAY. ANYTHING.

Third, literally the whole "Dickens of a Christmas" Episode.

"It's Jules, and I wish to be regarded as a resposnsible member of the Brown family"

"And I should guard these keys with my life"

If that is not docs boy I don't know who is. And then Jules persists in catching the thief but not telling Doc. Maybe in fear of him being disappointed. (and Verne has no problem with it)

Conclusion? Jules looks up to Doc. It's obvious, I know. But it's cute. And I love them. Jules also says Great Scott. How much are you willing to bet he will become a scientist?

Finally, the end. But wait, there is more. For June of Doom, I have been writing a one-shot with these two. I am afraid it will flop, so Feedback and opinions are very appreciated. It took 2 months. And @unknooooow had to sit countless times to listen to me ramble and change the story so many times. And another person who wanted to be tagged: @future-boi :D

Also, it is the longest thing I wrote in one chapter :D

And here it is :)

In a solid day or two, art will drop of this.

A hug is what will Jules need after this one-shot.

[princechorus]

“Back to the future is just the same movie three times idk how it made any money it’s stupid”

You fool. You utter bafoon. It’s about the repetitiveness of time and how, in order to learn and grow, you sometimes have to go through the same things over and over again before it hits you, the moment your subconscious brain finally puts the puzzle together of “this behaviour/action/etc. keeps getting me into trouble or bad/unhealthy situations so I need to change this aspect of my habits/thinking”

You can point blank be told or shown that something you do or think is what’s causing certain bad situations in your life but it won’t hit you until your brain is ready to accept it. And sometimes you have to be told/shown MULTIPLE times

[rottenhavec]

Can we talk about how fucking gross the back to the future fandom can get when it comes to incest? Like. I can't even search up George Mcfly without some nasty shit about him and his LITERAL. SON. Popping up. I've blocked so many tags

[chubmle2]

Dude I’m at a resturaunt and I’m trying so hard not to ask the people next to me if they’ve ever watched the back to the future trilogy and watched the whole 6 hour play through of the game plus the little animated series

My friend says it’s the autism I think it’s the absolute sheer coolness of my irresistible bttf hyper fixation begging to get out so I can rant to strangers about it

But I also don’t want to talk to anyone

but back to the future

Rage is consuming me

[synthsays]

Doctober day 5:

□○》 Alarm Clock 《○□

The ear-piercing ring of the brass alarm clock disturbed Marty from his not-so-peaceful rest,

"Doc what happened… ugh my head…" He continued to mumble the nonsensical remains of his dreams.

"Don't worry, you just had a nightmare."

A wet wash-cloth patted Marty's head.

"Wait, wait, wait, but what about Doc? I still need to save him…"

Marty began to get up but was gently pushed back down. His eyes widened as he saw who was caring for him. He quickly sat up right.

(rest of the drabble under cut)

"Lorraine! Uh- um- hi?" Marty subconsciously scooted away from where Lorraine was positioned across from him.

"Calvin, are you alright? You oughta hit your head pretty hard…" She reached for his head but he pulled away.

"You were my m- my ma-" Marty's panic settled as he continued to recollect the contents of his nightmare.

"What the hell happened-" Marty was cut off.

"Calvin Martin Lewis! Watch your language!"

His mother walked in, holding a cup of warm tea.

"Thank Lorraine, dear." And she ushered her off.

Marty stared in disbelief at his mother… or who he thought was his mother. There was no way someone could dream a whole person's life, right? What about Doc and Einstein and the McFly family… who are they?

"Marty, are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright. Where am I?" Marty's tone was annoyed but worried. Mrs. Lewis returned the worried gesture.

"Lorraine was right… you really did hit your head."

"What happened to me?" Marty leaned in.

"Lorraine found you knocked out by the side of the highway, the route you usually take your bike on. Luckily, there was no blood but she could barely get you conscious enough to push you along the road. You were out cold before you even hit the pillow." Mrs. Lewis offered the tea.

Marty declined, he was too emerged in his thoughts for tea. While she waited, Cecilia placed a record on the machine and placed the needle. After a few moments, only filled by the soft opening of the acapella, Marty came to a realization,

"Doc Brown! Yes, he was the one who built the time machine and got s-" Marty cut himself off this time.

"Martin, what are you on about? A Doctor Brown? Well, if I'm not mistaken, there is that nutcase scientist on Riverside… but that can't be it."

Cecilia Lewis began to grow more concerned about the boy. Surely he remembers his own mother, right?

"Marty, how old are you?"

"What? I'm 17 years old."

"Where do you live?"

"Hill Valley, California."

"What is your name?"

"Marty."

"Marty what?"

"Marty… um… my name is Marty…" He trailed off. His supposed mother, on the other hand, looked to be holding back tears,

"Who am I?"

"You? You're… you… who are you?"

Marty was greeted with a hug, not exactly the answer he wanted but definitely the answer he needed.

" Who am I?"

~Mr. Sandman, bring me a treat~

[half-metal-scientist]

i love back to the future a lot. some of my favorite autism movies. but since i just finished grading for a music in america class i cannot help but criticize the "hey chuck it's your cousin marvin" scene

(for context)

this doesn't make any sense at all. Chuck released "Maybellene" in MAY of 1955, (keeping in mind the week of october ~15 1955 being the date of BTTF1) and that song already has that "new sound" he would be looking for. sigh.

so the tl:dr of this rant is that i DO NOT accept white boy revisionism on this account and that chuck berry probably just liked how funny the name "johnny be good" sounded over the phone. alright bye

[oreolesbian]

barry jenkinssss you could’ve been making that alvin ailey biopic you had in development, sir pleaseeeee not the mouse 😭

[starmo]

hey! Big fan of your BTTF fics! I only recently got (back) into BTTF, but it seems you’ve been here for a few years, plus you’re an nsfw author in this fandom, so I was wondering if you might have some insight on why Mammett is practically the only ship with lots of nsfw material? The only straight ships I’ve seen is Marty/Lorraine or Marty/OC. Why no Marty/Jennifer, or George/Lorraine, or even Doc/Clara? I want some nsfw Marty/Jennifer so bad and can’t find it anywhere! Did it ever exist? Was it deleted? Hope you don’t mind the random horny. Just curious and want someone to ask/rant to, one BTTF fan to another :)

Hey there! Thanks for your inquiry! I am so glad to hear that you're a fan of my work! 😄

I actually haven't any clue as to why mammett recieves more attention from NSFW creators. Believe it or not, this surprisingly comes as a shock to me!

Though my allegiance is sworn to mammett (😂), I had been under the impression that it was the least popular of the ships typically associated w/ BTTF, on account of it's... divisiveness? For lack of a better term.

Though, if I were to reckon a guess as to why it's so beloved by degenerates (jk) like myself, I'd say it has just as much to do with the taboo nature of their relationship as hating mammett for it is!

Which is exactly why it doesn't surprise me that one of the only heteronormative ships from BTTF that recieves an abundance of attention is Lorraine x Marty.

Like mammett, Lorraine x Marty involves two individuals whose sexual/romantic relationship would be met with disapproval (because, y'know, incest), which just makes for a fun jaunt when it comes to writing smut fic. The juicier and more depraved, the better!

Aside from that, though there are many other reasons as to why I (and likely many others) are attached to Doc x Marty--I think a major contributing factor to the abundant creation of NSFW mammett fic is the fact that much of what we see of their on-screen interactions (of the physical variety, especially) is interlaced w/ homoerotic subtext, albeit (likely) unintentionally.

That and taking their age gap into account, and the time in which BTTF is set, when homosexuality was still HIGHLY frowned upon, it kind of makes for a deliciously provocative "torrid love affair" type deal.

And, I (personally) am also very much attracted to both Christopher Lloyd and Michael J Fox (hence why I've so many rarepairs involving their characters 😂) which only adds fuel to the "I want to see them bang" fire.

In summary, Doc and Marty tick off all the boxes for somebody like me (in both a "omg, my otp, I wanna cry, I love them so much!!" type way, and a "I want to see Doc absolutely DESTROY Marty" type way). I imagine people must feel similarly about ships like Lorraine x Marty, George x Marty, etc.

I guess the more canon-typical ships like Jennifer x Marty and Clara x Doc haven't as much allure to NSFW writers on account of the fact that they'e likely considered to be "vanilla"? Though I can only speculate on that.

As for your frustrations in this regard, I completely understand. Scouring the tags on ao3 or similar websites in search of at least just one fic involving a ship you're invested in, only to come up short, is one of the most infuriating things in the world.

I take similar issue w/ trans Marty vs cis Marty fics.

I am one of very few mammett fic writers who solely portray Marty as being trans, and that is largely due to the fact that as a trans man myself, I wanted to see more pre-op trans representation in smut fics; something which was virtually non-existent in the fandom prior to my contributions.

I also like to write smut fic for a wide variety of niche audiences; though some of the things I've written about and or plan to write about in the future aren't necessarily kinks of my own, I still want to offer something else to the fandom aside from the repetative "Doc and Marty have flowery prose gay sex in the garage" fics (not that there's anything wrong w/ those fics, but admittedly after reading about 6 or 7 of them I tend to go "but where's the pizazz??" ..."pizazz" being the nastiest shit you can conceive of, of course, lmao).

To this day one of my all-time favorite fics I've aided in the creation of is the one where Marty is a gas-station attendant and he and Doc end up banging by the dumpster in the back alleyway behind Marty's workplace.

Not only is it deliciously, viscerally filthy, but they (being Doc and Marty) are also still very much themselves; their affection and fondness for one another knows no bounds, and thus doesn't feel out of place even in a fic involving watersports, armpit licking and non-con kink.

Perhaps now that I know there is an audience for it, in the form of, at least, you, I could try my hand at writing some Jennifer x Marty or Clara x Doc fics!

I've only two WIPS as of right now that involve a Jennifer x Marty sex scene (sorta...); that being a fic in which Jennifer is present when an experiment involving some chemicals (of the horny variety) goes awry and Doc is in dire need of uh... relief--and a sequel fic to Nocturnal Emissions that immediately begins with Jennifer eating Marty out.

These are two fics that I hope to complete and upload at some point, but in the meantime, if you're curious (and/or would like to talk more about mammett/BTTF in general) feel free to DM me and I'd be more than happy to share what I've written for these fics w/ you! 😄

[itsthemorph]

🎞️, 🧒 and 📄for the bttf ask game! :D

🎞️ if you could change one scene from any of the movies, which one would you change and how? I had a whole thing a while back where I was ranting about why I didn’t like the first part of part ii where Marty and Doc toss the almanac and how I would change it and then didn’t write it down like a noob and forgot it. Anyways, it was something about how the Marty and Doc feel out of character during the almanac scene, so that one probably. I’d change it so Marty didn’t buy the almanac, seeing as he knows how dangerous time travel is almost as much as Doc, and instead mentions the cubs winning to Doc and the idea of placing money on them. Doc goes on about the dangers of time travel and how that could be dangerous, but as long as someone doesn’t know all the answers it shouldn’t be too harmful. Biff overhears and then he buys the almanac, figuring that it couldn’t hurt. That way Doc has more of a reason to blame himself and wish the machine was gone later on down the line, as they never did anything wrong and still the timeline was contaminated.

���favorite Marty outfit? I adore his Jean jacket vest combo, but his first school outfit with the white and green shirt and red jacket? It feels so gender I adore it

📄 what is your favorite scene in the trilogy? Oh this is hard. This is very hard. Tentatively, I think it’s the enchantment under the sea sequence in part ii. It’s just so clever, the way they used the blueprint from the original movie to create a path for Marty to follow biff and get the almanac back. I love it

Thanks for the ask! I’m having a ton of fun with this!

[blushft]

thinking about how awhile ago i was stuck without an interest and i was ranting about it to my friend cause it was really annoying and we were having a movie night. we were watching bttf, so they were like "hey maybe you could get into this!" so i started following the tag to try and force the interest upon myself, and .. i never DID get into it. but now i randomly get marty mcfly on my dashboard and its like. huh. okay.

[daryfromthefuture]

some post-trilogy angst for you

Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 4,009 Relationships: Emmett "Doc" Brown & Marty McFly, Emmett "Doc" Brown/Clara Clayton Characters: Emmett "Doc" Brown, Marty McFly, Clara Clayton, Jules Brown, Verne Brown Additional Tags: Friendship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Arguments, post-trilogy

[alex-a-fans]

In defence of BTTF animated series

And I can hear your thoughts: "What the duck is Alex on? How can this series be any good?"

NOW HEAR ME OUT. I am not saying it's a masterpiece, but I am here to give credit where it's due.

Ah, the animated series. The media we all want to forget, or maybe some did not know it existed. Filmed in the 90's, a time when every popular movie got a TV series and believe it or not, animation wise BTTF got the short end of the stick.

The style is not... It... Characters are too over the top. Phrases are weird, and jokes were not landing. (And they aged like milk...)

Okay but maybe story is okay!? Haha... Not quite :D. BUT heres where it get's a point in my book. The ideas are there, but they are so poorly explored.

Retired - Could have been (and even slightly was) about how all of Emmett's self-worth is on his intelligence.

The ideas, story, everything was there, but not explored enough.

I believe it's because of the target audience. It was fit to be a Saturday morning cartoon in the 90's for kids. And for that, the animated series was great.

Many people who saw it in the 90's say it was good.

Maybe this rant is useless, but the animated has inspired many aus and fics of mine! Alien doc is a direct result of "What if doc was actually an alien in "My pops an alien"".

The fic where doc dies is inspired by "Retired" The other fic where doc dies is inspired by "Witchcraft"

Surprisingly in the next one doc does not die. "Gone fishing" rewrite.

Maybe everyone had the exact same opinion as me and it was common knowledge. Yes, it's best to be forgotten and it's still the worst BTTF media. BTTF movies aged like fine wine, but animated - like milk. But I still love it :>

[unknooooow]

🕰️, 🎮 and 👀 for the bttf asks :]

Seriously ty for asking :)

🕰️if you were to insert yourself into the trilogy, what year would you come from?

I would come from somewhere very very VERY far in the future. It might not be intresting but the "A person from the future who always wanted to know the past" character sounds right to me even cuz Im like this every day

🎮what is your favorite bttf extended media (the game, comics, musical etc.)?

they are all great (with exceptions) but my fav is always the game. In addition to the good story and the information it gives us, the villain of the story in my opinion kicks the ass of all Tannen in terms of "Being evil" (Edna is a great villain)

👀share a random headcanon you have about your favorite character!

Time to rant about Doc! One of my fav hcs is that Doc is claustrophobic to a WORRYING level. Why? Well remember that scene from the game where YoungEmmett gets stuck in the tank and Marty ALMOST KILLS HIM BY CHOKING? Yep. Doc didnt forget about it (this will become a fic for June of Doom)

---

And thats it :) Idk how to end this post

Here is the list of asks if you want to take a look

[justgowithit505]

Now I like bttf, Heathers, and Wicked so if you want to rant to me about it it's ok

I changed my blog to be multifandom also

[zepskies]

Hahaa more of my comments on your lovely thoughts below!~

I couldn't not describe his ensemble of the day! loll

Him going right to "sexy" with the phone call, but then softening so sweetly when understanding settled in... “Ech, I hear ya. Are we in a Code Green, Code Yellow, or Code Red situation?” ...Like, come on. <3

Aww thanks for shouting out that line! It's my headcanon that Priestly would be such a soft boi with his girlfriend. His outward appearance is "edgy" but he's clearly such a kindhearted softie inside.

His Back to the Future rant! Loved it. Especially "since I’ve been working here since damn near 2000 B.C." I laughed out loud.

Hahaa I'm so glad you appreciated that reference! I legit wondered if that would go over some people's heads despite BTTF being a classic. 🤣

"His old enemy on Aisle 2" also amused me greatly. xD

When I was rewatching the movie the music at that part took me OUT. Like he was a battalion chief about to head into the trenches. 😂😂

They live together! They turned out to be more serious than I expected, and I am soft about it.

Oh yes, I wanted to write an established relationship for him that was actually solid and healthy. The relationship he craved in the movie where he isn't judged by his personality quirks, and instead is appreciated for them. ❤️

We love a girl who watches FRIENDS reruns! xD

Oh hells yeah! I'm still absolutely gutted about Matthew Perry's passing. 😥😥

Using his body as a heating pad sounds wonderful and delicious.

Omg IKR? I don't know if you've seen the Boys or read Soldier Boy fanfic at all, but I did a similar thing for his character in this imagine. In the show he's essentially radioactive after what he's been through lmao. So it's my headcannon that his core temperature would be very warm.

You really got me in my feels with the ending. They seem so good for each other. =']

Thank you so much, hun! I really wanted to see Priestly in a nice healthy relationship where he could be himself. ❤️

Reading this was an absolute delight, and I'm so glad you've ventured into writing Priestly! <3

Thank you again for encouraging me to write for his character!! I forgot how fun and big-hearted Priestly is. It was really fun trying to figure out how to write him and get into his head. 💕 I hope to do more for him in the future!

Code Red

Pairing: Boaz Priestly x Female Reader

Summary: When you call him for help, Priestly realizes that he finally has the relationship of his dreams.

AN: So I didn’t think I’d ever write for this character, but it was prompted by a lovely anon and encouraged by my friend @thatonewriter15! I hope you enjoy. ❤️ 

Song Inspo: “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. “I’ve found a love…”

Word Count: 1,500 Tags/Warnings: Period talk, suggestiveness, mega fluff

He was in the zone.

Four six-inch double buffalo chicken clubs with banana peppers on whole wheat bread (gross, but he wasn’t the one eating ‘em), two spicy Italians, and a tuna on rye.

Priestly wrapped them up with practiced precision and slid them down the line to Piper, Mission Impossible-style. She smiled at his antics and took them and brought them over to Tish at the register.

Priestly had another turkey and provolone on his docket, hold the mayo, when his cell buzzed in his pocket. Today he actually did have pockets. As in, he was wearing joggers, boots, and a graphic tee that said: NO TEQUILA, NO ENTRY.

He swiveled his phone in his hand like a drummer with a drumstick. He smiled when he saw your name flashing across the screen, and he answered it.

“Hey, Beautiful. What’s up?” he asked.

“Boaz, I need you,” you said. To his ears, your voice was sultry, and a bit strained.

He perked up with raised eyebrows.

“What’s holding up the turkey and cheese?” Piper asked.

Boaz held up a finger to the blonde and tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder. His hands busied themselves with the next sandwich order, but he was all too attentive to your every word.

“Oh yeah?” he replied to you. His smile deepened. “Well, that’s convenient. Because I’m craving some of you, baby.”

You gave a breathy chuckle. “Normally I’d take you up on that, but no. I need you. As in, I really need you to do something for me.”

Priestly arched a brow. His brain was already filling up with ideas of how he could best help you. He mentally took an inventory of the “tools” in your nightstand drawer, and which ones he could best use to his advantage when he—

“Uhh, well, I got about one more hour in my shift,” he said, lowering his voice, even as it deepened a notch. “But if Jen covers me, I can be outta here in half the time.”

“Oh my God, good,” you gasped. “I’m in so much fucking pain, you have no idea.” 

Priestly blinked, and any thoughts of kinky fun times came to a screeching halt. Concern took over when he realized that the strain in your voice wasn’t from the sexy kind of need.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

“I’m out of Midol, my uterus is rioting like it’s a Vietnam War protest, and…oh yeah, I need more tampons too,” you said. “But I legitimately cannot move from this couch.”

Priestly couldn’t help but smile in amusement.

“Ech, I hear ya. Are we in a Code Green, Code Yellow, or Code Red situation?”

Jen glanced over at him from where she was mopping the floor, and she gave him a questioning look.

What’s wrong? she mouthed.

“Code Red, definitely,” you answered with a sigh.

Priestly grimaced in sympathy. He mouthed back to Jen, Code Red.

She nodded in female understanding, and raised a hand that said, Say no more.

“Okay, yeah,” Priestly replied to you. “Don’t worry, I got you.”

You released a sigh of relief. “And if you want to throw in a Snickers, I wouldn’t hate it.”

He chuckled at that one.

“You got it,” he said. “I’ll be home in T minus an hour, give or take.”

You groaned. “Can’t you just steal a DeLorean or something?”

“You know, I could, but that would mean I’d be going back further into the past before you even needed to call me, and I’d still probably be making sandwiches since I’ve been working here since damn near 2000 B.C. But you know what, they should really call that movie Back to the Present, since they don’t actually go to the future until—”

“Okay,” you had to laugh, even though it was edged with discomfort. “I’ll see you later.”

At the supermarket, after his shift at Beach City Grill, Priestly had most of the supplies he needed for a successful mission. All he was missing was his old enemy on Aisle 2.

Once again, he faced a wall of tampons. All bright colored boxes and numbers and sizes…

Okay, not Code Green, so not the slender ones that might as well be match sticks. Not Yellow, so no to Regular…ah! Here we are. Super Plus.

AKA: Code Red. Complete with leak guard, no latex. He grabbed the blue box and threw it into his basket of essentials, including no less than three assorted chocolate bars and a pint of Ben & Jerrys. He knew his girl, and you liked your Half-Baked ice cream with chocolate chip cookie dough and brownie pieces.  

He brought over his haul to the checkout line. Sure enough, Gerry, one of the locals, was finally old enough to buy a case of beer by himself. He glanced at the blue box Priestly was taking out onto the conveyor belt and smirked.

“No slender regulars this time?” Gerry remarked.

Priestly’s smile was tight. “No, Gerald. Slenders are for pussies.”

“Literally,” the blonde beanpole snorted. “What, your girlfriend got a heavy flow this month?”

Priestly rolled his eyes, and his mouth pressed in a line. The word flow still kind of grated on him like nails on a chalkboard, but what irked him more was this guy imagining any part of your intimate parts.

“All right, my girl’s flow is none of your business,” he said. “Once you hit puberty and grow your first pubes, you’ll understand.”

Gerry floundered while Priestly continued on to make his purchases. Even the cashier was smiling, trying not to laugh as he silently gave Priestly his props for a burn well made. Priestly shot the guy a nod and a smile before he left with his spoils.

“Honey, I’m hoooome,” Priestly sing-songed.

He stepped through the door with his keys still jangling in his hand. He was trying to balance the big bag of groceries while closing the door to the apartment he shared with you.

Your head perked up from the living room couch, and your hand slowly curled up, beckoning him over. Priestly obliged you. He peered over the side of the couch and smiled at the way you were all curled up under a throw blanket, already in your pajamas, while FRIENDS reruns played on the TV.

“Finally,” you said with a tired smile. But not the kind of finally that just meant you were impatient for the goods he carried. The kind of finally that also meant you were happy to see him.

He laid a comforting hand on your head, leaned down, and pressed a kiss above your brow. You held him there by the collar of his shirt, prompting him to kiss you for real. Your hand moved up his tattooed neck and your nails gave the back of his head a little scratch, careful not to disrupt the blue mohawk.

He reluctantly pulled away from your lips, just enough to try and gauge how you were feeling.

“How’re you holdin’ up?” he asked.

“Like a beach umbrella in a hurricane,” you replied wryly. “You got the stuff?”

Priestly held the grocery bag tucked under his arm like it was a drug deal.

“Oh, I got the stuff, if you got the money,” he said.

You nodded, and your small smile turned mischievous. “I got your money, Big Man.”

With your hand delicately hooked behind his neck and the other gliding up his arm, he didn’t realize he was falling into a trap.

You tugged his arm hard enough to try and get him to fall over the back of the couch.

“Hey!” he yelped. Yet he also laughed while you tried your best to pull him overboard.

He had to toss the bag of groceries to the floor next to you, but he managed to get over and onto the couch without crushing you. He probably smelled like old sandwich and mayonnaise, but you didn’t seem to care. 

You just helped him settle in behind you, with your back to his chest. This was the only way you’d find comfort for your lower back. It had been aching since you woke up this morning.

You grabbed his closest hand and guided it under your overlarge sleep shirt, then under the waistband of your panties. You laid his warm hand flat against your cramping lower belly.

Priestly pressed a kiss behind your ear and tucked his arm underneath your head. He felt the rise and fall of your sigh as you leaned back against him, and his smile softened.

“You’re gonna fall asleep without digging into your treasure trove,” he teased. “I even got your favorite ice cream.”

You glanced at him over your shoulder in interest.

“Half-Baked?” you asked.

“Yep, for extra brownie points. Eh? See what I did there?”

Your body shook with a quiet laugh. You reached your hand back to touch his bearded cheek this time. Your fingers toyed with his many earrings.

“Did you know that you’re my favorite human?” you said. “Like, ever?”

He smiled against your neck. “Could’a sworn I was your third favorite, behind Ben and Jerry.”

“Nope, just you,” you said, snuggling back further into his warmth. “Thank you, baby.”

Priestly realized then that he’d found it.

He’d really, honest to God found the life he didn’t think he’d get, with a woman who didn’t want him to change; who just wanted him to be here.

Though he smirked when you reached for the bag and dug out the pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

“That’s what I thought,” he said.

You giggled. “Shut up.”

AN: Priestly was such a fun character lol. I rewatched 10 Inch Hero this past week and this was the first thing I thought to write! If you liked this, let me know! (And if you want more Priestly.) 😘

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