#bts orientalism

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

"There's a certain orientalist/imperialist perspective here in which the international fandom, particularly Army, tends to put BTS on a pedestal through a Western gaze in order to other the rest of K-Pop, as being lesser and incapable of reaching the accolades set by Western standards. But that's a discussion for another time and not here."

No please can we have this conversation? I think it's something the average army doesn't understand they're doing.

From what I recall, I wrote that during the talks around fashion and Dior. It's something that I probably touched upon in the past, but I'll expand a bit more here. There's also another reason why this orientalist perspective was fresh in my mind because at that time, I had just watched Cronenberg's M. Butterfly. I'm not going into details, but in the film, the main character, a French diplomat, falls in love and starts a relationship with a Chinese spy who was a man pretending to be a woman. And they have sex, there's talk about a pregnancy while all this time, the diplomat still "believes" it's a woman. Now, that is of course a metaphor on the fact that the East becomes this fantasy place for the West. The spy can easily invoke ancient Chinese customs as reasons for things that the French man believes easily. He's so focused on his fantasy, of having his own tragic affair with an Asian woman, that he rejects the reality.

That's but one example of orientalism, but the process is something that I can see taking place within the international fandom as well, specifically coming from those in the West (what we understand as North America and the Western part of Europe).

Let's take the Grammy situation. It's one of the few instances (and the only one I can recall right now) in which I-Army uses the group's Asianness. They take it and weaponize it because they are the ones on the social media platforms calling out racism and xenophobia. (Not that K-Army are silent about the racism, but I'm talking here about the very loud voices of international fans). While, at the same time, they want that Western validation. It's sort of a love-hate relationship with this award show and if BTS had won one, Army would be more accepting of it because they do see it as the pillar in music industry. It's an American award, but similar to the Oscars, it has its reach worldwide. Army wants the validation from Western institutions because it helps in distancing BTS from their Korean peers. For them, BTS is bigger that K-Pop, they are global, and only become glocal or local again when the fandom thinks the West is rejecting the group (be it award losses, articles and so called shady journalists).

And we have to remember that Army does have the savior complex, which only furthers the orientalist perspective. They want the distancing between BTS and a lot of aspects of the K-Pop industry and entertainment. How does that happen? By still using the underdog narrative (for what is now currently the biggest group of this 21st century), believing that their company is different than other K-Pop companies (they are not), that BTS as men are not like the others (their Korean masculinity gets twisted over and over again) and so on. In order for all these narratives to survive, Army needs to turn BTS in a victim constantly while everyone else in the industry is either some villain (from other groups, other fandoms, people in the entertainment sector) or their own work and success is less worthy than what BTS does. This allows them to write a history in which BTS is taken out of the context of K-Pop, of what came before and how that influenced the group, of how BTS influenced the industry as well (they did pave the way for the Hybe groups at least).

BTS's place is not just on the global scene. Ignoring or using their Asianness only when it's convenient is one of the most harmful things I-Army can do for the actual group they stan. They ignore it when it comes to their customs, their inter-personal relationships, their masculinity, them being part of a specific patriarchal system. All these aspects get to be replaced with the fantasy version of BTS through the Westernized gaze.

[diavolito]

No more jokes about a dream job I swear.

[horsescary]

the more I learn about minecraft speedrunning the more in awe I am at how much effort goes into optimizing this shit

[subsequentibis]

FINALLY started titanfall 2, the movement will take a little getting used to but i'm pleased to find it's way easier to pull off than i thought it would be, the ghost runner is so helpful and i like the game's clever ways of giving you Cool Badass Moments very organically.

[goosetan-sonyeondan]

Hobi! What the hell, man, did you even let yourself rest since the hiatus announcement?!

Somehow, since June 2022 (9 months!), Hobi has accomplished:

- performed at Hobipalooza

- released a full, official, debut album (critically acclaimed!)

- did the rounds of a promo cycle

- practiced and performed at Busan YTC with BTS

- performed at award shows + represent BTS

- released a documentary

- unofficial hypeman and social media manager for BTS (/jk)

And now your telling me he’s releasing a single?! THIS FRIDAY?! With a possible MV and choreo?!?!?!

[havithreatendub4]

#Murder On The Orient Express #motoe #bloopers l

[xcziel]

lock/unlock - J-Hope | Hope On the Street Vol.1

[spiritdreamt]

ok my actual first lessons are thursday and i am. freaking out a lottle

[2hightocare]

BIRTHDAY CHAOS!

Synopsis: It’s Jungkook’s birthday and obviously it couldn’t just be a small get together… according to everyone.

Genre: comedy, found family, established relationships.

Pairing: DILF!jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings: curse words, mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, family oriented, jungkook being sappy, just full on fluff, this is more bts centered than just jungkook and oc, cowboy jungkook YEEEHAW!

a/n: Tupac back! TUPAC BACK! hi im back… i haven’t been writing these pasts months like i used to— school has had me busy with so many papers that the idea of writing for anything outside school literally sends chills down my spine. BUT! i miss writing my very close imaginary family so enjoy🤍

…

"We're doing the absolute most," Jia sighs, slumping backward and releasing an untied balloon. It zooms across the floor, landing by your feet. "We're talking about the same person, right?" Eunbi asks from her position on the floor, colorful confetti spread out in front of her as she carefully glues a number onto the banner.

"Let’s not bully my man on his birthday," you playfully scold your best friend, giving her blonde hair a gentle tug.

Eunbi looks up at you with a pout. "Ow!" She scrunches her nose, sticking her tongue out before returning to decorating the banner on the ground.

"That ‘happy birthday’ looks crooked as fuck," Taehyung comments, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks down at the colorful banner beside the long-haired blonde. "Ari, permission to clock his shit right now," Eunbi says, looking up to Taehyung’s wife, who is perched on Namjoon’s shoulders, sticking balloons to the wall.

"Permission granted," Ari mumbles around the tape in her mouth. "But stay away from his face; we have an event coming up." Her voice is clearer as she uses the tape to secure a balloon.

"Honey, you did not just—what the actual fuck?" Taehyung gasps dramatically, quickly dodging Eunbi’s attempt to hit him with a pair of confetti poppers.

"Girl, next time, aim for his balls—" Aera begins but is interrupted by the front door slamming open, making everyone freeze in place.

The room goes deathly quiet before everyone exhales in relief as Lora, Jimin, Daeun, Yoongi, and Seokjin come rushing through the door.

"Y/n, I tried to stop them, but they wouldn’t listen," Yoongi says first, rushing to his wife on the floor. He drops a kiss on her cheek before looking up at you, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Don’t even! You helped us pick which one!" Jimin defends himself, placing a hand on his chest as if he’s been mortally wounded. Lora laughs out loud, bouncing with excitement.

"You look too happy for anyone's peace of mind," Hoseok observes, a small smile of amusement on his face.

You raise an eyebrow, confused, both hands on your hips as you wait for someone to start explaining. "Before you get mad..." Lora begins, only to be silenced by your raised hand.

"I’m already mad," you sigh, making everyone burst into laughter.

"Jungkook said he wanted one, so we got it for him," Daeun explains, clicking his tongue and biting her lower lip anxiously. She’s the newest addition to your group—she and Jimin started dating a few months ago. Despite her shy nature, Daeun clicked with everyone quickly, although her personality is much more calm than anyone else’s she fit in perfectly. Still no one could beat Jungkook’s and Eunbi’s track record when it came to the most extroverted of the bunch.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion, waiting for an explanation. At the same time, Seokjin nervously let out a small, low-pitched "giddy up," his voice cracked as he hesitated. He awkwardly mimed cracking a whip, glancing around with a sheepish grin, clearly embarrassed and already regretting it.

"You guys bought him a horse?" you gasp, eyes nearly popping out of your head as you watch everyone else's expressions mirror your shock. Silence fills the room, and it’s almost comedic when one of the balloons that Ari was blowing deflates. As everyone waits for your reaction, you hear the blonde on the ground whisper.

"Wait, he really wanted a horse? I thought he was joking! Babe—we should’ve gotten him the horse first as a thank you gift for giving me bubbles on my birthday," Eunbi whispers to her husband, who gives her a 'not now, baby' look.

Before you know it, you're pulling on Eunbi’s hair again. "The fuck are we going to do with a horse?" you sigh heavily, flailing your arms around.

One thing you learned from everyone is that they all go to great lengths for each other, no matter how ridiculous the idea or situation might be—and you fully participate in the chaos. But right now, the only thought in your mind is how you’re going to murder five people simultaneously.

"How did going for birthday hats end with you guys buying him a horse?" Joon asks, his face scrunched in confusion as Taehyung tries not to laugh while helping his wife off Namjoon’s shoulders.

"We didn’t buy one..." Jimin says, looking around nervously, waiting for someone to step in.

"We rented one!" Lora jumps in happily, clapping her hands. Her long, straight black hair bounces around her face as her deep dimples appear while she shoves her phone into your face.

"Isn’t it so cute? The person renting it out said his name is Rex, but I think he gives off more ‘Goody’ vibes." Lora shrugs happily, showing you multiple pictures of a huge, beautiful black horse.

"Can we talk about how big a horse shits," Seokjin mentions dramatically to the boys that stayed behind at the house. Your mind already making a mental note that the five responsible will be cleaning up after the horse in your backyard later.

"When is it getting here?" you sigh in defeat, making Lora clap excitedly.

"Aww, you didn’t crash out! Maturity looks so good on you, babes!" Eunbi cheers from the ground.

…

"I am not wearing this shit," Hoseok groans loudly, rolling his head back and stomping his feet like a child. "Why did I get the worst one out of everyone?" His hands flail dramatically as he explains, clearly annoyed that his t-shirt is, in his opinion, the most boring.

"You think yours is wack?" Eunbi side-eyes him, pointing at her own shirt. "I’m wearing a picture of Jungkook's face with the words, ‘Big dick is back in town.’" She reads it out loud before throwing her head back with an overly dramatic sigh.

"I low-key love mine," Jimin chimes in, striking multiple poses to show off his t-shirt, which reads, ‘I wish he was real,’ beneath a large photo of Jungkook giving a thumbs-up while wearing Iseul’s pink tutu.

"That’s because yours is cool! Mine is literally..." Hobi starts, sounding enthusiastic before suddenly clamming up, which causes Jia to burst out laughing beside him.

"Wait, now I wanna see it!" Eunbi’s face lights up, reaching for the shirt bunched up in Hoseok's hands.

"Stop! I love it!" Eunbi bursts into laughter as she reads the large text across the middle of his white shirt. "Show me!" Yoongi nudges his wife, poking her in the hip for her to move aside so he can see.

A grin spreads across his face as his eyes scan the words: ‘Sorry, princess, I only date DILFs who look like this,’ followed by a heart-shaped picture of Jungkook, shirtless, flexing his muscles with a pout on his lips. Yoongi can't hold back his laughter.

"I need to know who came up with these," Yoongi chuckles, dropping his head onto Eunbi’s shoulder, still shaking with amusement.

"I am not wearing this," Hoseok snaps, snatching the shirt back from Eunbi before crossing his arms in front of his chest, pouting like a sulking kid.

"Babe, you’re so cute," Jimin teases as he watches his girlfriend make her way to the small group, whistling as he gives his girlfriend, Daeun, a playful spin. She blushes, biting her lower lip as she reads aloud the words on her own shirt.

"‘Introverted but willing to discuss...’" Daeun pauses and points at the picture of Jungkook dramatically winking beneath the text.

"That one is so cute!" Jia claps happily beside Hoseok, who is still throwing a tantrum while Eunbi laughs and points at his pouty face.

You silently chuckle as you overhear their conversation shifting from shirts to whether they should have gotten a photo booth. You quickly announce that you’re going inside to get Iseul and yourself ready before heading into the house.

The laughter from the backyard fades as you close the sliding door behind you, having spent all morning decorating it. You take a moment to check the kitchen, living room, and walls, ensuring everything looks as you had planned before rushing upstairs to shower before Iseul wakes from her nap.

After showering, blow-drying, and straightening your hair, you start to hear small whines from Iseul as she begins to wake up. You poke your head out of the bathroom and into your and Jungkook’s room, finding Iseul sitting up in bed. Her hair is disheveled, and she’s rubbing her chubby hands over her eyes, surrounded by pillows creating a makeshift barrier.

“Hi, my love,” your voice soars to a higher pitch as you approach her. “How’d you sleep, baby?” You coo, brushing her small light curls away from her face, gently poking her cheeks before planting a kiss on them both.

“I slept good,” Iseul murmurs softly, finally opening her eyes. Her Bambi-like gaze looks up at you. “Is Daddy here yet? It’s his birfday.” Your four-year-old scans the room, only to pout in disappointment when she realizes it’s just you both in the room.

“He’s almost here, so we need to make you look pretty! Okay?” You poke her small side, making her giggle and nod enthusiastically. You wrap your arms around her, holding her tight as you lift her and carry her to her room. You carefully set her down on the bed before heading into her closet to find the outfit you had planned. You also grab a couple of alternative pants options just in case the original choice doesn’t work out.

“Okay, you have two options. Pick,” you say, emerging from the closet with two pairs of bottoms. “Skirt or jeans?” You wave the options as Iseul puts her index finger on her chin and furrows her eyebrows, deep in thought. “What are you wearing?” she asks carefully, making you smile. “A skirt,” you reply, watching her nod several times before pointing at the skirt in your left hand.

"I wanna wear a skirt too!” she exclaims with a beaming smile, her dimples—clearly inherited from her dad—showing prominently.

You nod in approval and quickly help her change and brush her teeth. You also brush her hair, letting it flow down her back.

“Okay, pose for me, princess,” you giggle as you watch your daughter smile and place her hands on her hips, striking a pose.

“Okay, now stand still and look down at your shoes for me.” You ask, as she hums and gazes at her Adidas shoes and white socks with ruffles, while you click away on your camera. “You’re so beautiful,” you coo, finally standing up and reaching for your daughter’s hand to guide her outside so you can finish your makeup and get dressed.

As you open the glass door to the backyard, she finally speaks. “I know, Daddy told me I’m the most beeyootiful girl ever.” She quips before stepping out, where Yejoon—who just got here, after being dropped off by his grandparents from his dad’s side—rushes toward her, and Eunbi and Taehyung quickly start showering her with compliments about her custom-made shirt as if it were a competition.

You laugh as you watch Eunbi’s smile falter when Iseul jumps into Taehyung’s arms first. You shout that you’ll be right back, earning several thumbs up from the group. As you rush back to your room, your phone rings in your back pocket. You quickly pluck it out and see a picture of you smiling at the camera with your husband’s bicep cradling your face, making you smile as you press the green button and click ‘speaker.’

“Baby,” Jungkook’s voice comes through as you place the phone down on the counter and start your makeup.

“Hi,” you reply, tucking your hair back out of your face.

“Hi, my obnoxiously gorgeous wife, I miss you,” Jungkook says, and you smile, hearing the warmth in his voice.

“Are my girls ready? I’m almost home,” he continues. You giggle and reply with a small “yes” as you blend concealer under your eyes.

You had told Jungkook the other night that instead of a party, you wanted to take him out to eat for his birthday, just the three of you. He agreed immediately, not knowing it was a complete lie. Knowing damn well the group chat you just have made the other day with everyone from the already standing “plan b survivors” group chat with the exclusion of Jungkook—obviously—was currently being spammed with multiple suggestions of whether getting a bouncy house was a good idea or not.

“Your mom sent me her GIF not too long ago; it’s the best one she’s sent to date,” Jungkook says, making you burst out laughing, knowing exactly which kind of GIF he means. Your mom has a habit of sending extravagant GIFs with blooming flowers and sparkles, with bold text that reads something completely different depending on the mood, situation or event.

“She edited me into the background this time. You know, the one where I’m flexing my muscles with those pink ribbons you tied on them,” he recounts, and you hum in agreement, knowing exactly what picture he’s talking about since you were the one who took and sent it to your mom.

“I love the way confetti pops the moment you click on it to play,” he chuckles, making you mirror his smile.

As he continues talking about how everyone wished him a happy birthday at the meeting he had to attend—scheduled long ago and unmissable—you listen as he changes topics to how he plans to start taking Iseul to swimming classes while you finish your makeup.

“Okay, baby, I’m around the corner. Can you put an outfit out for me so I can shower and change quickly?” Jungkook asks as you apply the last coat of mascara to your eyelashes.

Humming in agreement, you reply, “Okay, and I already did, baby,” as you twist the mascara cap shut and check yourself one last time in the mirror before grabbing your phone and heading to both your clothes laid out on the bed.

“I love you,” Jungkook says, as you return the sentiment before he disconnects.

You quickly change into your t-shirt, tying a rubber band at the back to create a crop top. You follow up by slipping into your denim mini skirt, not even taking a minute to check if it fits perfectly as you rush to find socks and matching shoes to match Iseul’s. The moment you’re dressed, you hurry downstairs, turning off every light as you make your way to the backyard, where everyone’s eyes turn to you.

“He’s coming, everyone hide!”

The position you were in was uncomfortable as hell, and no one seemed to be enjoying themselves. Iseul started to whine, complaining that her knees hurt from crouching behind the couch, which prompted Ye Joon to comment smugly that “she isn’t as strong as he is,” earning a loud “shhh” from Ari. The twins, Nari and Yeseol, were also not having it. Barely a year old, both blondes were already driving Eunbi and Yoongi crazy—you could hear Yoongi trying to calm down Nari from behind the kitchen counter, as she teetered on the verge of crying.

From your peripheral vision, you caught a glimpse of Aera and Namjoon making funny faces to distract Nari and keep her from crying. You also noticed Jiho texting on his phone, his brows furrowed in concentration. You tried not to laugh when Jia snatched his phone away, scolding him to “pay attention.”

Suddenly, your heart fluttered as you heard the front door open, followed by Jungkook’s familiar voice calling out.

“Baby, where are you?” he called, murmuring under his breath about how dark it was. He moved towards the light switch and flicked it on. Before he could react, everyone shouted, “Surprise!” as colorful confetti burst from poppers, flying everywhere and littering the floor.

“Oh, fuck!” he shrieked, clutching his chest in surprise.

“Happy birthday!” everyone yelled together, rushing forward to hug him. Iseul was the first to reach him, raising her short arms for her dad to pick her up. “Happy birfday, Daddy!” Iseul kissed his cheek as Jungkook smiled brightly, while Lora snapped multiple pictures with her camera. “Your shirt, princess,” your husband beamed, reading the words and poking her side, making her squirm. “You’re a hundred percent ‘Birthday boy favorite girl,’” Jungkook said, pressing a big kiss to her cheek, reading off her shirt.

“Happy birthday, my brother,” Taehyung and Jimin chimed in, launching themselves at Jungkook the moment he set his daughter down to greet everyone else. “Where’s my gift? I don’t think my wife would’ve let anyone in without a gift fee,” Jungkook joked, patting Jimin on the back.

“I was thinking about what to get you, and I realized you don’t need anything—you already have me. I even debated wrapping myself since I’m clearly the biggest gift in your life,” Taehyung said, making everyone burst into laughter. “Exactly what I thought too,” Jimin added, earning a side-eye from Taehyung.

“Just two dumb bitches telling each other ‘exactly!’” Eunbi mocked behind them, scooting in-between the boys to give Jungkook a hug.

“Hi, blondie,” your husband teases, poking your best friend’s side, before laughing at the words on her shirt. “Big dick back in town!” Jungkook guffawed, throwing his head back in laughter.

You watched with a huge smile plastered across your face as your husband finishes hugging everyone and complimenting their shirts. Once he had said his hellos, his eyes finally met yours. His grin widened, and he walked towards you. Feeling playful, you shifted all your weight to one leg and twirled your hair around your index finger, giving him an innocent look that made him burst out laughing.

“Hi,” Jungkook smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

“Hi,” you smile back, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. He gave you a quick wink before leaning down to kiss you. Your eyes fluttered shut as you melted into the kiss, his lips moving against yours in a slow, agonizing pace.

Smiling into the kiss, he finally pulled away as everyone started whistling in the background.

“There are kids here!” Namjoon shouted playfully, watching as Jungkook stuck his tongue out at him like a child.

“You take my breath away every damn time, baby,” Jungkook says, turning back to face you and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Mhm, really?” you tease, raising an eyebrow at him. He chuckles, his gaze drifting from your shoes back up to your eyes. “Yes, really,” he says, biting his lower lip.

“Okay, we get it. You guys are in love. Can we go eat now?” Jiho interrupted, looking up from his phone with a bored expression, clearly used to this level of PDA, since his own parents were just as bad.

Everyone laughed and agreed, while Jiho earned a light swat on the back of his head from his mom for “interrupting a moment.” Lora shook her head in mock disappointment, quickly passing her camera to Ari to place on the marble table before ushering everyone towards the backyard.

“Happy birthday again,” you whisper to your husband, stopping him before you could join the others who were waiting to show him the bouncy house and decorations.

“Thank you, baby,” he voices out, his voice soft and serious, making your heart clench. “Always,” you reply, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his lips again.

“I like your shirt,” Jungkook murmurs just for you, his voice low and teasing. You bite your lip, meeting his gaze.

“I mean, it’s true,” you shrug playfully, watching the slow smile spread across his face. His thumb and index finger toy with your belly ring that you’ve just put back in, and he tilts his head with a grin. “I’m hoping I got a shirt and it says ‘I heart milfs’ to match yours,” he jokes, his smile faltering when he notices the way your lips press together.

“What does it say?” he sighs, bracing for disappointment.

“‘Birthday boy,’” you reveal, trying not to laugh as his jaw drops in exaggerated shock.

“That’s not fair! I was expecting something wild like everyone else’s. How does Eunbi get ‘big dick back in town,’ and I get ‘birthday boy’?” He pouts, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Well, aren’t you the birthday boy?” you tease, placing your manicured hand over his, resting on your belly.

“I guess...” He blows out a dramatic sigh, making you giggle.

“I missed your belly piercing,” he says softly, tugging gently on the teardrop ring in your belly button.

“And I miss your lip piercing,” you reply, brushing a finger over his bottom lip. “Please put it back in. Hopefully, Iseul doesn’t tug on it like last time.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” he groans, shuddering at the memory. Remembering how his daughter yanked on his lip piercing with all the strength a one-year-old could muster.

“Thank you for everything,” he says, hooking his fingers through the belt loops of your skirt and pulling you into a tight embrace. “I appreciate everything you do and more. I know this whole thing was your idea. Thank you,” he murmurs into the crook of your neck.

“Don’t make me cry,” you sniffle, feeling him press small kisses along your neck. Your hands rub soothing circles on his back, and you stay wrapped in each other’s arms for a minute, though it felt like only seconds. “I love you so much, baby,” he continues, squeezing your cheeks with both hands and forcing your lips into a pout before kissing them.

“I love you,” you reply, kissing his nose, making him chuckle.

“Is it bad that I want everyone to leave already so I can just spend time with you?” he whispers as you both walk towards the glass sliding door. “Lowkey yeah,” you chuckle, stopping at the door and looking up at him, only to find him already gazing at you.

“What?” you giggle, feeling shy under his intense stare.

“Nothing, just one more kiss, please. Count it as my early birthday gift,” he winks, leaning down to capture your lips again. You pull back with a laugh when you felt his tongue start to intrude. “Baby…” Jungkook whines, a goofy grin still on his face as he tugs you closer.

“Jeo—” you start, but he interrupts, kissing you again, this time swirling his tongue with yours. Your shoulders slump as his hands cradle your face, keeping you in place before separating with a small string of saliva connecting you.

“Sorry, it’s my birthday,” he whispers against your lips, before finally opening the sliding glass door and extending an arm to guide you outside. You roll your eyes playfully but let out a small yelp when you felt his hand smack your ass as you walked past him through the door.

“It’s my birthday,” he says with a cheeky grin, raising his hands in defense when you shot him a warning glare.

…

Everyone is drunk, and things spiral out of control quickly.

The moment Jungkook steps out of the house, freshly showered and changed into his matching t-shirt like everyone else, everything becomes a blur. After countless photos taken on Lora’s camera, you all eat, sing happy birthday, and Jungkook blows out his candles before cutting the cheesecake you made him the night before.

By ten at night, the kids are sent inside to sleep, and that’s when the chaos begins.

“You’re fucking lying!” Jungkook yells, eyes wide as Seokjin and a man lead a huge black horse through the backyard doors.

“Where’s my camera?!” Lora screams, looking around frantically.

“It’s inside!” Ari shouts back. Before you can react, a head of caramel curls dashes into your house.

"That thing is literally humongous," Namjoon mutters, running a hand over his face, his eyes slightly red from all the alcohol.

“You shouldn’t be talking,” Jimin retorts, eyeing Namjoon up and down, causing everyone to burst out laughing.

“You’re just mad you’re short,” Namjoon fires back, but you’ve already tuned them out, watching as Jungkook climbs onto the horse with the help of the owner.

“This is such a bad idea,” you screech, covering your eyes.

“Here!” Ari runs back out, handing Lora her camera. She immediately starts snapping photos of Jungkook, now balanced on the horse.

"Hold on tight, bro!" Yoongi yells as Jungkook wobbles before finding his balance as the horse starts walking.

"Baby, look at me!" Jungkook calls out, taking off his shirt, revealing his flexed muscles as he jokingly cracks an imaginary whip. Your heart skips a beat—stomach flips—half from how ridiculously handsome he looks and half from the fear that he might fall.

Lora, on the other hand, is in her element, snapping photos like her life depends on it.

“I wanna ride next!” Eunbi cheers, jumping up and down.

“I’ve never seen you this excited to ride me before,” Yoongi says nonchalantly, causing everyone to groan.

“Brother, eugh!” Hoseok fake gags, while Jungkook laughs from atop the horse. Eunbi’s face turns pink as she playfully pushes Yoongi, who apologizes profusely for his comment.

"Baby, can we keep it?" Jungkook asks, flashing you his signature doe eyes.

"Fuck no," you respond immediately, leaving no room for negotiation.

"You’ve only got an hour—make the most of it," you shrug, moving closer to the horse.

"An hour only?" Jungkook gasps, glancing at his friends as if they betrayed him. "Y/n didn’t want the horse, we had to compromise, lil bro," Yoongi says matter-of-factly, making Jungkook roll his eyes playfully.

"Come on, baby, let’s ride," Jungkook says, winking as he pats his lap, motioning for you to hop on, which earns a chorus of fake gags from your friends.

The hour passes in a whirlwind of laughter and screaming. Everyone takes turns riding the horse, which ends with Ari nearly face-planting, sending everyone into a panic—except for the owner, who looks like he’s ready to be done with all of you and head home.

"Shot! Shot! Shot!" the group chants as you down a shot of tequila, scrunching your face in disgust, earning more laughter. Jungkook rubs circles on your back as the cold liquor burns its way down your throat. "Fuck!" you exclaim, tapping your chest like it’ll help with the heartburn.

"You did so good, princess," Jungkook praises, tossing back his shot like it’s water, letting out an exaggerated "ah" as he sets the glass down.

It’s nearly two in the morning now. The horse is long gone, and everyone is utterly trashed. The guys, all shirtless, are slumped around the backyard, claiming it’s too hot—likely the alcohol talking.

"Five, six, five, six, seven, eight!" Eunbi shouts as the speaker blasts "Hot to Go," jumping onto a chair and belting out the lyrics.

"Here she goes," Taehyung sighs jokingly, watching Eunbi throw herself into the song.

"You’re her biggest opp," Aera comments with a smile as Jungkook joins Eunbi, copying her arm movements.

"Opp stands for opposite, right?" Taehyung asks, which sends everyone into another round of laughter.

"Opponent, dumbass," Jimin smacks him on the back of the head, snickering at Taehyung's widened eyes.

"Did you guys read the weight limit for the bouncy house?" you ask out of nowhere, standing up, suddenly eager to jump around.

"There’s a weight limit?" Daeun and Seokjin ask simultaneously, then look at each other. "Jinx!" they say in unison, making you laugh.

"Yeah, the person who rents them usually tells you," you explain, kicking off your shoes before climbing into the character-themed bouncy house. You barely stand up before everyone starts piling in.

"If anyone throws up, I’ll kill you—" Lora screeches as Taehyung accidentally shoves her, sending her face-first into the bouncy floor. "I’m so sorry!" he laughs, trying to help her up despite the bouncing of everyone.

"Guys, I think it might pop," Daeun warns, clinging to Jimin for balance. You try reaching for Jungkook but get launched across the bouncy house by the devil herself, Eunbi.

"Ah!” You scream, laughing as you tumble into Lora. The laughter doesn’t last long, though, as a loud pop echoes through the air. Everyone stills before panic sets in as the bouncy house deflates rapidly, and everyone scrambles to the small exit.

You all stand in stunned silence, staring at the flattened bouncy house sprawled across the grass. Despite knowing how much trouble you're in with the renter, you can’t help but laugh.

"Welp, happy birthday to me," Jungkook shrugs with a grin.

🐈‍⬛: @allie-is-a-panda @minghaosimp @nicolepvp8 @blaricee @parkinglot-nights @jmscaffeine @httpjeonlicious @jeonjungkooksbabamomma @army061313 @crazyovayou @thvvcut (idk why some don’t tag😔)

[espies-galaxy]

Behind The Scenes Of Orientation

Dear World,

I just want to have a nice little chat about what it is really like to see and partake in the development of events. Now, I am in college, and so my events are more campus-wide over, like city or state or nation... Much, much different.

I am now going into my third year of college and have been to my fair share of events. Once I joined my sorority and once I joined the student engagement office on our campus, I saw so much more than just the pretty little set up that you go to for an hour or more and then leave and not realize the effort we all put into that.

Since school is starting there is one event in particular that I would love for people to understand. NEW. STUDENT. ORIENTATION.

We all have gone through it, and let's be honest, 9 of the 10 of us did not want to be there. I am now in my second year helping the orientation team get everything together because let me tell you, the one-day orientation you went to is not the only one we're doing, nor the three-day mass orientation we are trying; it was not just all magically put together, everything did not just happen into place. The orientation does not just begin and end when with the tours, the ice breakers, the informational sessions, and the moving-in. The flyers with the schedule that you want to avoid carrying around because you think it is pointless are way more than just a piece of paper.

For you, yes, that is all. We want you all to see it run smoothly. We want you all to feel welcome, excited, and ready to start your collegiate career.

The side you see, the so much more I keep saying is this. You get there at 8 am; our office and team of leaders arrive at 6:30 am. We show up with coffee in hand and a dazed look and begin setting up for a good long day; everything we set up in the morning gets taken down in the evenings, we leave up what we can, but for the most part, we will not finish our nights until 10 pm. While our O-Team has you out and learning the more intricate details and stories of our campus, the others are trying to take down one thing while we start to set up for the events that evening,

Do not mistake me either, ask anyone of the leaders or office members about their job, and they will tell you they love it. We do not spend our summers at the beach or pool or where ever else you could think, maybe every now and then or a weekly event that has been pre-planned, but the summer you are enjoying, we are all sitting together in an office putting together binders for all the leaders, setting up the bags you will get. We have made numerous detailed logistic sheets for everyone just to make sure there is always something for you. We sit up until 10 pm laughing near delusional, talking about stories from the past orientations, dreading the things that may not get done, and patiently awaiting all your sleepy faces and fresh minds. We cannot wait to show you how amazing this place is; we want you to love it as much as us, have the pride in our university. The months of planning, the late nights, the liters of coffee drank, the early mornings, the tedious tasks:

if you asked any orientation leader if they like their job, they will tell you it is all worth it.

Sincerely,

The One Who Finally Saw Behind The Scenes

(originally written by me August 15, 2016)

[celestialsequels]

LOVEBIRDS

— chaewon x f!reader

— y/n falls in love with chaewon at first sight after seeing her during her orientation day at university but what happens when y/n tries to find ways to approach chaewon…? does she end up with chaewon…? read to see how y/n and her friends figure out ways to approach chaewon.

— contains: fluff, goofy y/n, a whole lot of crack, basically y/n wearing rose-coloured glasses through the whole story, cussing, y/n being the biggest lesbian when it comes to chaewon, sfw, wholesome, some suggestive/mature language here and there, playful abuse, at one point you get chased by kangaroos, almost all of the idols + you are tired university students at southern cross university of melbourne.

— ft. bibi (soloist), felix (stray kids), hanni (newjeans), wonyoung (ive), giselle (aespa), ryujin (itzy), karina (aespa), and namjoon (bts).

— taglist: @notacelestialbeing @sixflame438 @saysirhc @jensettermandu @sunshinez4 @hotluvlet @emotionallyrin @yeetaberry127

— let me know (by commenting) if you wish to be added to the tag list for this smau.

CHARACTER PROFILES:

— #private / #student profiles

— #IDs

tracks:

i. SCUM

ii. hottie just walked in

iii. *faints*

iv. she’s defrosting

v. hanni’s MISSING?!

vi. mission: y/n’s future wife

vii. BREAKING NEWS (mostly written)

viii. i kiss yaur brother

ix. out of order (written)

x. the feels

xi. traitor

xii. lesbian hair one?

xiii. hello kitty pjs (mostly written)

xiv. and there goes that

xv. lecture hall 143 (written)

xvi. bloop bsaop

xvii.

xviii.

xix.

xx.

xxi.

xxii.

xxiii.

xxiv.

xxv.

xxvi.

xxvii.

xxviii.

xxix.

xxx.

[oddinary4bts]

Sinful Lust | ch 4 (myg & jjk)

☆summary: Jungkook has been living his life like he's riding a car, and he sees a wall looming closer. Will he hit, or will he find a way to avoid the collision?

☆pairing: bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi x female!reader x Jungkook

☆rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

☆genre: mostly smut, angst, snippets of life!au

☆warnings: cursing, jealousy, a flashback to how it all started five years ago, alcohol, mention of social anxiety, some sort of cheating?, explicit content: unprotected sex, jerking off, tied hands/bondage ish?, oral sex (male and female receiving, male on male, male on female), face riding, mouth fucking, choking, hair pulling, anal sex, cumshot, protected sex, sexting, nudes, a side of degradation?, facetime sex, ass slapping, guided sex, creampie

☆word count: 8.6k

☆a/n: Jungkook pov time babyyy! I hope you will love it <3 Thank you to @moonleeai as always for beta-ing this fic <3

☆a/n pt2: I do not own BTS or any of the members. I do not know what they are like irl (I do not claim to know their personalities, sexual orientations, beliefs, etc.). This fic is just a work of fiction, so please keep that in mind while reading

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

                Each time he’s with you and Yoongi, Jungkook has a hard time figuring out why, or how. Especially right now, as he lies under you while you fuck yourself on him.

He watches your breasts as they bounce on your chest, watches the light sheen on your skin from your sweat. Yoongi is jerking off next to Jungkook, and he can’t help but glance at that too – Yoongi’s frowning, mouth slightly open as he grips his cock hard, pumping fast.

Your walls clench around Jungkook’s dick, and he returns his attention to you as he grunts and you let out a moan, bending forward to rest your hands on his shoulders for leverage. Jungkook lets you do it, though he tugs at his restraints, his cock twitching as his hands are held back in place.

It was Yoongi’s idea to tie him up. At the mischief lighting up your gaze, Jungkook hadn’t been able to say no, and frankly, he doesn’t think he regrets his decision.

It started with Yoongi sucking his dick while you sat on his face, and Jungkook can still taste your sleek juice in his mouth. It’s inebriating, and he thinks he’s drunk – or perhaps he’s just swimming in ecstasy. Even if Yoongi fucked his mouth after that.

Jungkook doesn’t particularly enjoy the bisexual action he’s been partaking in with you and Yoongi. He doesn’t dislike it, but he doesn’t feel any sexual attraction to it. He doesn’t think he would touch Yoongi if it wasn’t for your begging eyes. But whenever you look at him, whenever you tell him to do something, Jungkook folds, unable to tell you no.

He’s convinced Yoongi’s caught up to it, yet it seems you’re still lost in the fog of oblivion. Or maybe the three of you are just too good at pretending that it’s not there, that he didn’t say yes to this whole ordeal just because he gets to fuck you.

You clench again, this time moaning his name, and Jungkook has the visceral need to pull you flush to his chest so that he can thrust into you just like he likes. Tugging at the restraints proves to be useless, and he lets out a frustrated groan even as you pick up your pace, visibly chasing your orgasm.

It’s hot. It’s fucking hot and Jungkook feels his balls tighten, though he reins it in – he’s not going to come yet.

Your right hand shifts to his neck, and then you’re choking him, though your up-and-down motion grows sloppy, as if you have trouble focusing. And you barely choke him – you were just looking for leverage, he assumes.

“Bend down,” he tells you. “Fucking bend down, I’ll make you come.”

At his words Yoongi grabs a handful of Jungkook’s hair, forcing his head back. But you do bend down, and Jungkook braces his feet on the mattress so that he can fuck into you. He sets a relentless pace, meeting Yoongi’s gaze as you moan into his neck.

Perhaps that will be enough to make him come after all. Because he knows your Yoongi’s. Knows he’ll never have you any other way. But when you cling to him like you are doing right now, Jungkook likes to believe that you’re his, too.

He knows you’re coming the moment your orgasm crashes into you, and he doesn’t relent, doesn’t slow down. You moan against his skin, and Yoongi pulls on his hair harder, and Jungkook thinks maybe he’s coming too.

He keeps it in at the last second, his balls hurting from the denied orgasm. But he doesn’t want to come in such a subdued position – he’ll fucking ride you until you cry from the pleasure before.

He slows down, and you slump against him, your sweaty skin feeling like heaven against his. He’s still looking at Yoongi, who’s still pumping his cock hard, though he finally lets go of Jungkook’s hair. Nothing happens for a moment, until you raise your head from his neck, and then Jungkook meets your gaze.

Your cheeks are flushed red, your pupils are blown wide and you look so fucked out he feels his dick twitch inside of you. At that you moan again, and the pain in his balls increases even more because fucking hell does he need to come soon.

You smirk. You smirk and Jungkook thinks he’ll go insane. Especially as you push up from him, and then his dick leaves your velvety walls as you move to the side. You grab his cock, jerking him slowly, and Jungkook looks down at himself.

He’s covered in your juice. You came on him – a lot – and now you’re using it as lubrication to jerk him off and he doesn’t know right from left and up from down anymore. He’s insane – you’ve brought him right to the land of insanity.

“Gosh,” you let out, and he focuses on your face again, though you go in and out of focus as his orgasm is still so close. “I’ve soaked your dick so much you could fuck Yoons like that.”

The orgasm recedes, and Jungkook remembers that he’s not alone with you. That Yoongi is here, and he’s been deprived of attention for a while. Jungkook does feel bad about it a little, but then again, your hand on his dick just feels too good.

Yoongi murmurs your name, adding, “Don’t push his boundaries.”

You bite your lips, holding Jungkook’s gaze with a searing look in your eyes. “Would you fuck his ass if I ride your face again?”

Jungkook is at a loss for words. Especially as you bend down and spit on his dick, adding lubrication to his already soaked cock.

He thinks you’re jerking Yoongi off too now, because Yoongi groans and you let out a small laugh.

“I fucking love having the two of you for myself,” you say.

And that’s when Jungkook knows he’ll say yes. He doesn’t even care that it’s Yoongi’s ass as Yoongi sinks on him a minute later. All he’s looking at is you, and Yoongi’s ass is so fucking tight Jungkook thinks he might not get to fuck you into oblivion after all.

Yoongi moves up and down, slowly, and Jungkook grunts as you wrap your hand around his neck, choking him again. And then you force him to look at Yoongi, who’s got his head thrown back and dick so hard Jungkook feels like Yoongi’s going to come on him in just a few strokes.

You’re the one that reaches out to grab Yoongi’s dick, and you start jerking your boyfriend off as he keeps fucking himself on Jungkook. Jungkook watches, unable to do anything else, and when Yoongi’s ass clenches on his dick Jungkook closes his eyes.

He doesn’t want to see Yoongi coming on him. Doesn’t want to think about the fact he’s got a man on his dick right now, and not you. He just wants to feel how fucking tight it is, and how the drag on his dick is so sinful he knows he will come.

He’s turned on. He’s so fucking turned on by the tightness of Yoongi’s ass that he pulls at the restraints, once again trying to take control. But he can’t. He can’t, yet Yoongi bends forward somehow, and Jungkook’s mind fills with so much ecstasy from the new angle that all he can think to do is to start hammering his hips into his friend.

He comes first. He comes as he’s fucking Yoongi so hard everything hurts, and then Yoongi is coming on him, while you praise the two of them. Jungkook almost forgot that you were there, but then when he opens his eyes, it’s you that he sees first.

Perhaps because Yoongi’s hiding his face in his neck, just like you were doing earlier. And seeing you so close makes Jungkook’s orgasm linger, his dick twitching in Yoongi.

You bend down, catching Jungkook’s mouth in a languid kiss, and he kisses you back with everything in his chest, not caring that he emptied his balls in your boyfriend just a moment ago. Not when you kiss him like that – like every swipe of your tongue on his is a hidden message, of feelings shared even though they shouldn’t be.

Yoongi moves away from Jungkook as you’re still kissing him, and Jungkook tries to hold you, to cup your cheeks, but his hands still don’t move from where Yoongi tied them up. He pushes his tongue in your mouth still, lapping you up, and right when he thinks he’ll die from the lack of oxygen, you pull away from the kiss.

It takes Jungkook a moment to realize that Yoongi is gone. You’re looking towards the door, and Jungkook is still just watching you, and something hurts in his chest. He clears his throat to push it away, which gains him your attention again.

“Can you untie me?” he asks, voice still a little scrappy from when Yoongi fucked his mouth earlier.

You nod, and he notices you gulping. Something’s wrong. Something definitely is wrong between you and Yoongi, and Jungkook feels sick and twisted for it.

“Sorry,” you apologize as he mindlessly massages his shoulders, which started to ache a while ago from staying in that position for so long.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook tells you, and then he glances at his stomach. At his dick, that’s softening on his pelvis.

He’s covered in cum. Both his and Yoongi’s, and even yours from before all that. The sight nearly makes him gag, and he motions to the box of tissues on the night table.

“Can you pass me these?” he asks.

You don’t answer, though you grab a handful of tissues. Jungkook makes to grab them from your hands, but you start cleaning him up. He almost gulps from the attention, from the care in each of your motions, but he focuses on looking towards the door.

He doesn’t even know if he wants Yoongi to come back. Just that it feels weird that Yoongi left so quickly.

“Is something wrong?” you ask him, and he frowns, looking back towards you.

“No,” he answers. And though he doesn’t want to pry, he returns the question to you.

You finish cleaning his stomach before you move to his dick, and it feels a little strange to have a serious conversation with you while you’re cleaning up his dick, but then again, his entire relationship with you is weird.

“I don’t know,” you admit. “I guess.” You shrug. “He doesn’t tell me how he feels anymore.”

You look so sad saying the words that Jungkook feels his heart breaking in his chest. He’s been expecting this since the very first time he had sex with you though. The moment when it’d create a wedge between you and Yoongi, or between Yoongi and him.

“Oh,” he lets out. He chews on his lower lip, tongue darting out to play with his piercing. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug your shoulders again. “Don’t be.” You fall silent, eyes trailing to the doorway. You take a deep breath, and then softly let it out, shaking your head slightly. “Let me just go talk to him.”

Jungkook remains silent as you get up, and he looks away from you as you put on your clothes. And he feels far too awkward staying in your bed without you and Yoongi, so he gets up too, grabbing his clothes. He puts them on quickly, feeling the need to leave as fast as he can.

He’ll hate himself if your relationship goes to hell because of him.

So he puts everything on and then tiptoes to the front door. He curses himself when he has one of his shoes on – he left his motorcycle helmet in the kitchen. He glances in that direction – is that where you and Yoongi are?

He doesn’t want to interrupt a conversation between his friend and you.

But he needs the helmet. Can’t drive his motorcycle without it. So he kicks off his shoe, before walking towards the kitchen, slowly, even though it is entirely silent. He passes in front of the bathroom on the way, and there, he hears voices from behind the closed door. Muffled and low, clearly meant for you and Yoongi only, so Jungkook moves away, towards his helmet that he can now see on the counter.

He grabs it, spins on his heels to head back to the door, but he startles at the sight of Yoongi standing there.

“Oh, hyung,” is all Jungkook can think to say.

“You’re leaving?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook’s gaze widens, not really knowing how to reply. “Uh…” He gulps. “I figured it would be better to leave you and Y/n alone…”

Yoongi nods, sighing, and his eyes close momentarily before he looks at Jungkook again. “Sorry about this.”

“About what?” Jungkook asks, and he feels stupid for the question, but it just slipped out on its own.

“Making things awkward,” Yoongi explains. “I guess… I guess I should have asked that you guys don’t…” He stops speaking again, and this time he scratches the back of his head. Jungkook remains silent, giving Yoongi space to collect his thoughts. When he finally does, Yoongi says, “I don’t like you guys kissing like that? I told Y/n, and we’re going to add it to the ground rules.”

Jungkook’s heart squeezes in his chest, yet he still nods, not wanting to hurt his older friend. Especially considering that Jungkook is the guest in this whole scenario, and not Yoongi.

“That sounds good to me,” Jungkook answers, even if every word pains him. “I’ll stop.”

“And the pet names too,” Yoongi adds. “Don’t call her baby.”

There’s possessiveness in Yoongi’s tone, and Jungkook bristles a little, though he forces himself to nod. “Sure. I’m…” he trails off, eyes falling to a spot on the floor between him and Yoongi. “I’m sorry.”

And he does feel apologetic. Guilty, even. But you’ve become a drug that he can’t get enough of, and if he has to stop doing these things to be able to still get a taste of you, then he will.

“Don’t be,” Yoongi says, and he sounds reassuring. Far more than Jungkook expected him to be in the situation. “Don’t ever feel sorry. We invited you in our relationship. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for not setting my boundaries more clearly.”

At that Jungkook feels jealousy taking shape inside of him. Because Yoongi will get to kiss you, to hold you, to be yours when Jungkook will always just be the guest. But the kisses and pet names allowed him to pretend that, for just a short period of time, you were his. And now he has to let them go, to let the feeling of your lips against his be just a memory. It hurts somehow, which he reckons is stupid.

He doesn’t usually get attached to the women he fucks. But you’re different.

You’ve been different since the day he met you.

“If you want to stay for the night, you can,” Yoongi says in the silence that was stretching to the point of awkwardness. “Guest room is yours, as always.”

And though he usually always stays the night, Jungkook feels the need to be alone. To ride his bike, to eat the road and feel the wind and forget about his thoughts for a moment. So he declines the offer, feeling strange as Yoongi walks him to the door.

He wishes you’d come say goodbye, but you’re in the shower from the sounds of it. He feels guilty for leaving like this, but then again, the night sky and the streetlights are awaiting outside, and it’s going to be much needed therapy.

“Thanks for the invitation,” Jungkook says once his shoes are on and he’s checked his pockets to make sure he has everything.

“Of course,” Yoongi answers, flashing a strained smile.

Jungkook wants to ask if his friend is okay. If he wants to stop this madness altogether, but he can’t bring himself to ask.

It’s like he’s watching a car crash into a wall, or the moments before the accident. He knows it’s about to happen, but there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

“We’ll let you know when we want to see you again,” Yoongi adds when Jungkook just stays standing there.

The dismissal is clear, and Jungkook nods his head once before wishing good night to his friend. Yoongi tells him to drive safe and text him when he’ll get home, which Jungkook knows he won’t do.

Perhaps because he knows he won’t go home for a while still.

And he doesn’t. He rides in the night, aimlessly, going out of the city with only the moon high above as company. His bike roars like a beast under him, eating mile after mile until trees replace concrete, until he has to stop at a small gas station that looks straight out of a horror movie to fill the tank. The weather outside has been growing warmer, but the night is cold, and the moon has been lowering on the horizon, replaced by a sea of distant stars, each of them sparkling with all the might of their own little world.

If only you knew what you mean to him. But you’re like the stars up above – out of reach, for the eternity of life. And though he’d wished to be an astronaut when he was a kid, Jungkook knows he’ll never get to sail in the sky above, to meet you in outer space meant to belong to you and him. Not to you and Yoongi.

The thought has him climbing on his bike again, and it roars back to life as he turns the key in the engine. A second later he’s back on the road, and he doesn’t even care about where he’s going. Doesn’t even care that he might get lost, because he’s felt lost for weeks anyway.

With the wind and the stars as his lone companions, Jungkook rides through the night, seeking salvation. Seeking to forget he ever said yes, to forget that the second he felt you on his dick, he knew no one else would ever compare to you.

But he’s always felt this way. The night sky is too pretty to dwell in memories though, and Jungkook stops where the road meets the sea, only to listen to the waves hitting the shore like they’re keen on forming their own melody. It’s different than the one of wind in his ear, yet it’s peaceful.

Everything but his heart seems peaceful in the night. So he breathes the saline air in, lets the mist from the waves hitting the rocks cool his features, and with eyes shut Jungkook takes everything in.

And when peace finally finds his heart too, somewhere between his inhales and exhales, Jungkook climbs back on the motorcycle and heads home.

*****

If there’s someone Jungkook knows he can talk to, it’s Namjoon. His older friend, brother, a calm presence in his life whom he’s sought the help of countless times in the past. Whenever his blood ran cold or hot from fights he won or lost in the past, whenever things don’t quite work out the way he’d hoped them too, Jungkook always knows Namjoon will be there for him.

So when Namjoon invites him over to his art gallery for a small gala he’s hosting for charity, Jungkook says yes. Because he knows he’ll likely be the only one of the friend group invited, mostly because he is some sort of a celebrity to begin with. And though he doesn’t mind people knowing him for his boxing career, he also doesn’t want to just be seen as this brute that only knows how to punch other people.

Namjoon knows it, and understands it all too well. Perhaps because he was a boxer once too before he turned into an artist.

So Jungkook dons a nice outfit, a black all-denim jean and jacket combo that he was given while shooting for Calvin Klein again a couple of weeks ago. He knows he’s going to stand out in the crowd of nicely-dressed art enthusiasts, but he doesn’t care.

Maybe if he stands out enough, he’s going to attract the attention of someone that can make him forget you riding his dick like you only have one night left on this Earth.

As soon as he gets to the gallery, Jungkook heads in, motorcycle helmet in hand. He aims for Namjoon’s office, which he knows the lock password of, and he leaves his helmet there before heading into the gallery proper.

He assesses the room for a moment, anxiety spiking in his blood at the sight of so many people crowded in a place that seems like it’s about to burst. He’s not surprised – Namjoon is a renowned painter now, and rich people flock to him like moths to a flame hoping that they would get the chance to buy one of his pieces.

Jungkook stays by the door, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he scans the gallery, trying to figure out if anyone would be worth his attention. He notices a woman that looks about his age, if not a little older. She’s wearing a red dress that enhances her curves beautifully, and her long hair cascades down her back as she turns towards him, a knowing smile on her lips. Jungkook returns the smile and he’s about to head her way when Namjoon comes into his vision.

“JK!” Namjoon lets out, happily clasping his shoulder. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Jungkook watches the girl as she winces, but then she turns away, walking towards where a group of rich sons are speaking. Maybe she’s here as the date of one of them. Jungkook reckons he doesn’t care because, frankly, even donned in that expensive dress she doesn’t look half as good as you look wearing just a t-shirt.

“Namjoon,” Jungkook returns, forcing his disappointment away, along with the feelings you always bring up in him. “This place is about to burst.”

“I didn’t expect so many people to show up for the charity,” Namjoon admits as he too scans the room. “But it’s all for the better!” He grabs two glasses of champagne from a server passing by, handing one to Jungkook. “We better drink before it starts because it promises to be long.”

Jungkook nods, clinking his glass with Namjoon’s before taking a long sip. The golden liquid bubbles in his mouth, and though Jungkook prefers whiskey, he does enjoy the taste as it slips in his throat.

“Got a lot of pieces on auction tonight?” he enquires as his friend knocks back the whole glass, never one to entertain a glass of champagne for more than a few seconds.

Namjoon wipes his mouth with the back of a hand, nodding curtly. “Five. The rest were provided by promising artists from the community.”

Before they can say more, a group of people approaches them, and Jungkook forces himself to participate in the conversation, offering them smiles and nods and a word here and there. It goes like this for a while, until someone ushers the room into silence so that the charity can properly start.

Jungkook slides to the back of the room, fishing a flask from an inner pocket of his jacket. He takes a swig of it, the strong taste of whiskey washing away the taste from the champagne he drank before. It’s a thankful respite, and Jungkook finds an empty wall to lean against as the auction starts.

It takes all of six minutes before the red-dress girl heads his way, meeting him away from the rest of the crowd.

“You’re not going to auction?” she asks as an introduction.

Jungkook shrugs, flashing her a smile. “Are you?”

She chuckles, and it lights up her eyes prettily. “I don’t think I’m here for this kind of prize.”

And just like that Jungkook knows exactly in what category she belongs. It might be harsh of him, but he recognizes her for what she is – someone that’s only trying to climb the social ladder, hoping that being a socialite might bring happiness into her life.

He might not have a lot of money to offer her, but for a night…

They’re fucking in the bathroom before he’s actually had the time to think this through. The condom on his dick feels like hell, keeping most of the sensations away, and she doesn’t feel quite as tight as you always do. As Yoongi’s ass did… Yet Jungkook only pushes her head down in the sink, watching how she’s grasping onto the edges of it, moaning unabashedly loud. The bathroom is far enough from the auction that Jungkook isn’t afraid to be heard, but he still puts his hand on her mouth, stifling her sounds.

And though he does find release, he realizes that it’s more of the haunting kind. As if his balls are still full, the ecstasy shying away from him. It only leaves him with a bitter aftertaste in mouth, and he declines the girl’s invitation to a hotel nearby.

As he watches her leave, he realizes that he doesn’t even know her name. And he doesn’t care for it. All that he cares for is to return to the auction, which thankfully is almost over. He listens to it in a daze, hoping that people can’t tell he just fucked someone, hoping that they can’t see the ghosts haunting him.

Namjoon sees them the moment the auction ends, and Jungkook tries to slip away in the night. Indeed, his older friend catches him in the office as he goes to retrieve his helmet, much like Yoongi had caught him that night when he’d established new boundaries.

“I hope you’re not leaving right away,” Namjoon says as he heads to a decanter on a small table by a bookshelf. “Just sold a piece for a billion won, and I need someone to celebrate with me.”

“This is hardly the first time you’ve sold a piece for that amount of money,” Jungkook reminds his friend, but he still puts the helmet down, heading for the leather seat on one side of the desk.

Namjoon pours whiskey in two crystal glasses, handing one to Jungkook before he sits on the other side. “I still never get used to it. Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Of course, man,” Jungkook answers.

He takes a sip of the whiskey, a much more expensive one than the one that’s hidden in the flask in the inner pocket of his jacket.

“Something’s been troubling you,” Namjoon comments after a small silence of both of them appreciating the whiskey. Jungkook remains silent, not knowing what to say. After a while, Namjoon says, “I invited Taehyung and Seokjin, but they were caught up at the restaurant.”

Seokjin’s restaurant. Where Taehyung and his jazz band play every now and then, offering live music to the patrons, and helping Taehyung get a good amount of listens on Spotify. Because Taehyung’s voice is smooth velvet, and Jungkook already can see his friend climbing the ladder to success.

“What about Hobi?” he can’t help but ask.

“His girlfriend was super sick, and he asked if I minded him staying with her.”

Jungkook thinks about Ryunah, and he makes a mental note to send a text to Hoseok later to make sure that the girl is okay. Because she’s his friend too – Hoseok has been dating her for so long that she’s become an integral part of the friend group too.

“And Yoongi said it was going to be too many people,” Namjoon adds.

Jungkook immediately bristles at the mention of Yoongi, and Namjoon cocks an eyebrow, never one to miss anything. Jungkook tries to play it cool by taking a swig of whiskey, but he highly doubts that it works.

“Yoongi is an introvert,” he says carefully.

Namjoon purses his lips, nodding once. “Are you still…”

He’s told Namjoon after the first time it happened. In a situation much like this one, though a lot more alcohol had been involved. So much that Jungkook had ended up spending the night on the couch of Namjoon’s loft, which lies on the third floor of this building.

“Once in a while,” Jungkook says, and he hates how his voice is clipped.

He knows he wears his emotions on his sleeve for all to see, and fuck he hates it.

“How has that been going?” Namjoon carefully asks.

Jungkook winces. He knows he can’t escape the truth, especially not when he’s speaking to Namjoon. “It’s fun. It really is, but I think it’s driving Yoongi and Y/n apart.”

“And what about you and Yoongi?”

Jungkook gulps, eyes falling to the desk between him and his friend. He doesn’t really know how to answer that question: he’s always seen Yoongi like a reliable older brother, someone that offers a helping hand when he needs it, but now he doesn’t feel like Yoongi would be inclined to help him all that much anymore.

Then again perhaps that’s not giving his friend enough credit. Because Yoongi knows about Jungkook’s crush on you, has known since the very first day, and he’s still been a good friend to Jungkook. Even if that very first night, Jungkook believed that you were meant to be his.

Some foolish, stupid part of him will always believe it.

*****

Five years ago

                The bar is filled to the brim with people who’d come to watch the Olympics on the big screens. Jungkook is squeezed in one corner, Namjoon sitting so close to him he’s been trying to mold himself into the wall to try to get some air. It’s not Namjoon’s fault – the bar really is too crowded, and they’ve been lucky that they’ve found a place to sit amidst the chaos.

Yoongi is seated across from Jungkook, Taehyung next to him, and Seokjin and Hoseok went to get a new pitcher of beer at the bar. Jungkook glances in that direction, trying to see his friends. They aren’t there, probably headed to the toilet first, yet Jungkook’s gaze catches on something. Or rather on someone.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone as beautiful as you. Maybe he’s still concussed from his latest fight, though he was the one to come out of it as the victor. Had been the one to win every fight for a while, he reckons.

But you’re an angel brought to life. Beautiful hair framing your face, big eyes taking in the bar as if you’re waiting for someone. From the distance it’s hard to tell the color of your eyes, yet Jungkook thinks they are boring right through his soul as you meet his gaze.

The corners of your lips stretch in a mindless smile, as if it’s a reaction, and Jungkook thinks he’s been brought down to his knees. It hits harder than an uppercut to the jaw, and he can’t help but smile back, though he feels clumsy and young and stupid.

You look away, and he thinks he stumbles forwards, thinks he’s sprawled on the floor when Yoongi says, “Should we go get that fucking pitcher ourselves? I think Jin and Hobi went for a smoke.”

Jungkook meets Yoongi’s gaze, eyes slightly widened. Yoongi cocks an eyebrow in question, immediately noticing Jungkook’s state.

“Wh- what?” Jungkook lets out.

“What’s got you stuttering?” Yoongi asks, laughing. “Got hit too hard last time?”

Jungkook frowns, though he glances over his shoulder towards you again. “There’s a girl at the bar.”

As if he understood everything by that simple sentence, Yoongi says, “So you’re looking to fuck?” It’s teasing. It really is, so Jungkook doesn’t take it as an insult when Yoongi continues, “I thought tonight was for the boys.”

Jungkook feels his cheeks burning. “No I… She looks like she’s waiting for someone.”

Yoongi moves to the side, trying to catch sight of you. He nods when he does, before looking towards Jungkook again.

“She does.”

“Would it be stupid to ask for her number?”

“Whose number?” Namjoon jumps in.

Yoongi motions towards you. “That girl.”

“She’s hot,” Taehyung answers.

“Fuck, guys stop it,” Jungkook begs, embarrassment swirling in his blood. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Just ask her for her number,” Taehyung insists.

Jungkook shakes his head, scrunching up his nose. “No, all good. Yoongi’s right, tonight is for the boys.”

“I can ask for you,” Yoongi suggests, clearly feeling a little guilty for bringing the other guys into the conversation.

“Bruh, he’s a boxer, pretty sure he can ask a girl out himself,” Taehyung jokes.

Jungkook loves Taehyung to bits, but sometimes he hates him too. Right now is one of those times. “Fuck off, Tae.”

Taehyung just grins from ear to ear, eyes bright with laughter. “Love you too.”

“Let’s just go get that pitcher,” Yoongi then says.

Taehyung whines as Yoongi pushes him, but they soon slide out of the booth. Namjoon doesn’t budge, and Jungkook watches the two other guys as they head to the bar. Taehyung says something in Yoongi’s ear, and Yoongi looks back towards them as he answers.

Though he’s far enough, Jungkook can read the ‘fuck off’ on Yoongi’s lips that makes Taehyung burst out laughing. Taehyung seems to insist, and Yoongi folds, catching Jungkook’s gaze once before nodding his head.

And then Jungkook watches them as they approach you. He’s never seen Yoongi flirt with anyone before, and he watches in horror or maybe awe as Yoongi leans against the bar next to you, saying something that prompts you to laugh, while Taehyung stands behind him to talk to the barman.

Even though the bar is crowded, Jungkook thinks he hears your laugh. It’s crystal clear, soft, and he wishes he could be in Yoongi’s spot. But he’s a shit flirter, usually only hitting on girls to fuck them. It’s always been easy to him, that part, but something about the way you carry yourself tells him that it wouldn’t work with you.

He forces himself to look away, letting out a groan. Namjoon turns his head towards him, a contemplative look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Yoongi is speaking to her,” Jungkook says, motioning over his shoulder.

Namjoon looks in that direction, and says, “And they are looking this way.”

Jungkook glances over his shoulder right away, an anxious thrill moving through his body. He catches your gaze again, though you look away immediately. He’s pretty sure you’re blushing, though you shake your head no.

Jungkook looks away, feeling disappointed because you looked embarrassed. As if him wanting to have your number is an embarrassing thing. Or maybe he’s just overthinking everything, and Yoongi didn’t even mention him.

Taehyung comes back a few minutes later with a full pitcher. “Yoongi’s still talking to that girl,” he complains as he sits down. “She said no to give you her number, by the way.”

It’s the way Taehyung says the word, as if he doesn’t give a shit about it, that prompts Jungkook to look over his shoulder again.

Indeed, you’re still speaking to Yoongi. And you look like you’re enjoying yourself, laughing and smiling as Yoongi also sports that same comfortable attitude. It’s so rare to see Yoongi like this that Jungkook feels guilty for mentioning you, for acting as if he was entitled to you earlier.

When you rest a hand on Yoongi’s forearm where it’s resting on the counter Jungkook knows that he lost this fight. Not that it was a fight to begin with, but he still feels like he lost when Yoongi doesn’t come back for a while still, only coming back to them after Seokjin and Hoseok returned too, both smelling of cigarettes.

Yoongi sits at the head of the table, and Jungkook meets his gaze. He has a piece of paper in his hand and he hands it to Jungkook, causing silence to fall at the table.

“I got it,” Yoongi says, a smile gracing his lips.

Jungkook thinks that it’s the same smile Yoongi was offering you earlier, as if it’s lingering around.

“Ah, keep it,” Jungkook replies. “You two were clearly getting along.”

Yoongi frowns slightly. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s all good,” Jungkook insists. “We never see you getting along with women, just keep it.”

“It’s because he prefers dick,” Taehyung jokes, and the table is a mixture of rolling eyes and loud laughs for a few seconds.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yoongi tells Taehyung, though his features are soft as he safely puts away your number in his wallet.

Jungkook watches the piece of paper as it disappears from view, and all he can do is just hope that he won’t regret his decision later on.

*****

The usual pain of his knuckles hitting the punching bag, of the recoil in his whole arm, is grounding. Jungkook goes through his usual routine, mind zeroing on the motions of his body, like the waves relentlessly hitting the shore. He’s just the vessel on this ocean, and each thump of his fists against the punching bag is satisfying, in ways words can’t explain.

It’s late. The world outside has gone dark, and Jungkook can see his reflection on the windows. From the corner of his eyes, he sees how precise each of his movements are, how fluid he is. Like a wave – never fully stopping, never lowering his guard. He knows this dance more than he knows how to breathe.

He started boxing when he got bullied so rough that going to school had started being dangerous to him, almost twenty years ago. Then, his small fists had barely been able to make the punching bag sway, but today he has to be careful not to let his strength go unchecked.

Yet he keeps going. The motions carry him, the 1-2-2-1 in his head a litany, like it’s a prayer to a religion only he knows. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t relent, doesn’t slow down, a machine more than a human being.

It’s the best way to evade his feelings. To find a place of cool calm where he can just be, he can just exist, instead of having to think and feel. Because lately he’s been feeling too much.

It’s been weeks since Namjoon’s gallery show. Since Namjoon asked if a wedge was created between Yoongi and Jungkook. And though Jungkook answered with the negative, the follow-up question Namjoon asked was haunting, and he doesn’t want to think about it.

So he goes faster, hits harder. Maybe if his punches are loud enough they’ll cover the sound of his thoughts. Or maybe he should have put some music on – the sound of his clipped breathing and grunts is haunting even to his own ears.

Frustration spikes in him, and Jungkook stops, grabbing the punching bag to keep it from swinging aimlessly. He leans his forehead against it, not caring that he’s covered in sweat and that his hair is clinging to it. He takes a few long breaths, focuses on the hammering of his heart in his chest, of the blood pumping in his veins.

And then he thinks of you, he thinks of Yoongi, and he’s right where he started this evening. Under you, under Yoongi, pleasuring the both of you while he was incapable of finding his own pleasure.

You didn’t say anything. Neither did Yoongi, or Jungkook. All of you pretended that it didn’t happen. That Jungkook hasn’t come in weeks now.

He’s just unable to do it with you now. Not that he doesn’t want to – he really does, but not being able to kiss you has been playing games on his mind, and most of the time he loses his erection before he’s been able to come.

He still feels pleasure. A lot of it. Far more than he’s felt in any sexual encounters before, but he just isn’t able to reach completion anymore. He thinks, when it’ll find him, maybe he’ll thank the God above, if there’s even one.

Or maybe he should be thanking the one in hell.

He sighs as his breathing slowly returns to normal, and then pushes away from the punching bag to head to where he left his water bottle and shirt. Indeed, he’s shirtless, and he watches his reflection in the windows as he takes off his gloves, and then gulps down the water. He isn’t as ripped as he was before he retired from boxing, but he’s still toned, defined muscles creating a play of shadows and lights on his chest and stomach. He’s proud of his body – proud of the way you look at him. Proud of the way Yoongi looks at him, with lust and attraction and a side of envy. Or at least Jungkook likes to tell himself so, because he looks at Yoongi with far too much envy for it to be healthy.

He empties the water bottle, before bending down to grab his shirt. Even though he’s sweaty, Jungkook puts it on, knowing he’ll throw it in the washing machine the minute he gets home. And then he heads to his locker, where he left his motorcycle helmet and keys, switching those with the gloves he always leaves here, and a second later he’s turning off the lights to the gym, before heading outside.

He locks the door, breathing in the fresh air of early spring, and then he walks over to where his bike is parked. He’s quick to mount the motorcycle, to push the key in the ignition, and his bike purrs to life. The vibration shakes through his entire body, and then Jungkook is shooting out of the parking lot, heading home.

The streets are empty at this time of night, and Jungkook enjoys the ride, even though it’s short-lived. First thing he does when he gets home is put everything he’s wearing in the washing machine, and then he takes a really long and hot shower, hoping to erase the feeling of you and Yoongi on him.

It doesn’t work. It never fully works, and here, alone in his shower, Jungkook can’t help the lust that takes over him. Can’t help the tightening of his balls and the hardening of his dick, but he ignores it, not caring that something aches in his lower stomach from the repetitive denied orgasms.

He steps out of the shower once the water has turned cold, grabbing a towel to dry out his hair before wrapping it around his hips. He’s about to step into his walk-in, which is connected to his bedroom, when he sees his phone lighting up where he left it next to the sink.

He frowns – who would text him at this hour? – before heading to the device. His heart sinks in his chest when he sees your name, mostly because you never text him so late.

Did something happen with Yoongi?

Apparently not, Jungkook thinks. Not as he reads,

[4:57 am] You: I’m sorry about tonight

Jungkook doesn’t know what you’re apologizing for. You’re always good, so good to him. His heart has just been playing with his mind.

[4:58 am] Jungkook: why? [4:58 am] Jungkook: don’t be sorry, you were great

It doesn’t take you long to reply. Or at least to start typing a reply. Jungkook watches the three dots appearing and disappearing for almost a whole minute before your text finally comes in.

[4:59 am] You: you didn’t cum [4:59 am] Jungkook: don’t worry about it

Maybe you’re drunk, or maybe the late hour has been getting to your head much like it’s been getting to his. Because your reply makes him so hard he thinks he might actually be able to bust tonight.

[5:00 am] You: i miss feeling you cum in me

Jungkook shuts his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose as if that would change your reply. When he opens his eyes again, he sees that it hasn’t, that you really did say that. He doesn’t really know what to make of it. So he heads to his bed, takes off the towel and lies down, fully naked and skin still wet from the shower, right in the middle of the mattress.

[5:01 am] Jungkook: you’re filthy [5:01 am] You: only for you

He’s going insane.

[5:02 am] Jungkook: are you sure you should be texting me this shit rn? [5:03 am] You: honestly Idk. yoons is sleeping next to me

Jungkook oh so wishes it was him next to you. Him that would get to fall asleep in your bed, him that would get to fuck you in the middle of the night whenever you can’t sleep.

[5:03 am] Jungkook: I don’t think you should be telling me this when he’s not with us [5:04 am] You: I know [5:04 am] You: I agree [5:04 am] You: but I haven’t been able to sleep bc I’ve been thinking about you filling me up, and it feels wrong to wake yoons up for this [5:05 am] Jungkook: maybe u should wake him up. Maybe you can ride him with your eyes closed thinking that it’s me

Jungkook starts jerking off right then and there. He feels like what he’s doing is wrong, far too wrong, but somehow, he’s aroused by the thought of you unable to sleep because of him, because you want him so desperately.

You don’t reply for a while. And he doesn’t think he deserves a reply. He knows he’ll hate himself as soon as his lust passes, if it ever does.

So he shuts his eyes. Remembers the first time he felt your walls clenching around his dick, and he squeezes himself harder to try to reproduce the feeling. Nothing compares, but you’re there, printed behind his closed eyelids, and he thinks maybe he’ll finally be able to come.

His phone vibrates, and like an addict in need of a hit he quickly grabs it where he left it on his mattress. And when he sees what you sent, he goes into a frenzy he’ll only later describe as the stupidest moment of his life.

You sent him a nude. He can’t see your face, but your lips are on full display, your breasts the centerpiece of the picture. Your nipples are perked prettily, as if just begging for him to suck on them, and he squeezes his dick so hard it actually fucking hurts.

He doesn’t hesitate. He takes a picture of himself that he sends to you, the tip of his dick leaking with precum.

[5:09 am] Jungkook: I’m so fkg hard for you [5:10 am] You: just fucking cum, jk, it shouldn’t be that hard

The degradation in the sentence sends him flying over the edge, and he grunts loudly as he does come on his stomach. He picks up his pace, milks his orgasm as it runs through him, alighting every single one of his nerves with pleasure. He’s shaking when he’s done, feeling weak and blissed and like he’s just committed something unforgivable. He wonders if you feel the same, lying in bed next to Yoongi.

Something breaks. Something physically breaks in him and he hates it. Hates every moment that led him to do this, to do the irreparable to one of his friends. He reckons, if Yoongi hates him forever, he’ll deserve it. Because he knows he won’t be able to hide this from his friend, knows that…

His phone rings, breaking him out of his train of thoughts. To his surprise, and mostly fear, it’s Yoongi calling on Facetime. Jungkook swallows a lump in his throat as he answers, the camera obviously angled towards his face.

Yoongi appears a few seconds later, looking half asleep. “So you’re sending nudes to my girlfriend now?”

Jungkook feels tears burning in his eyes. “I’m so sorry…”

Yoongi laughs, and it breaks into a moan that makes the tears still in Jungkook’s eyes.

“She wanted me to…” Yoongi grunts. “Call you to show you what you’ve done to her.”

And then the camera flips, and it’s your ass on display as you ride Yoongi in reverse cowgirl. Every thought eddies out of Jungkook’s head, and he just watches, entirely forgetting that he’s covered in his own cum when you moan.

Yoongi’s cock glistens in the dim light of the lamp on your night table. You’re so wet Jungkook can hear it through the phone, and his arousal spikes, waking something in him.

“Why don’t you slap her ass?” he tells Yoongi, voice low and dark. “To punish her for what she did tonight.”

Yoongi doesn’t even hesitate. And he slaps so hard Jungkook can see his imprint slowly forming on your skin. It’s sinful, and he does feel bad because the sound you let out is slightly pained, until Yoongi massages your ass and you moan.

Then Jungkook disconnects from reality. Or maybe he dissociates. He knows he tells Yoongi what to do. Knows he tells Yoongi to fuck you in doggy style, to pull at your hair and mark your back with his nails. He guides his friend through the whole thing until his own dick is aching again, ready to go even though he already came. So he jerks himself off, the pain in his chest increasing yet he’s unable to pay attention to it. Unable to do anything other than watch you and Yoongi fuck like animals, until Yoongi comes and pulls out to let Jungkook see his cum dripping out of your cunt.

Jungkook comes at the sight. Not as much as he did earlier, but he still grunts and moans and curses as new cum meets the one that was already on his stomach. He feels even more disgusting, but you and Yoongi don’t seem to notice. Indeed, you invite Jungkook over the next day, and maybe he’s just a little too distracted to notice the shadows in Yoongi’s gaze.

Jungkook accepts the invitation, knowing that he’ll never be able to say no to you. And when you finally hang up, after having spoken for a few minutes, Jungkook barely has the strength to drag himself to the shower to clean up.

Once he’s lying back in bed, he feels like he’s spinning. Like the Earth has sped up, or maybe like he’s a mere sock getting tossed around in the dryer. It’s sickening, just like that feeling that’s clutching at his guts, and that’s been clutching at his guts for a while now.

Because his bed is empty, cold. His bed is always empty and cold. He doesn’t have you by his side, doesn’t have someone to warm up the covers. Hasn’t had anyone to warm up his covers in what feels like forever now.

And so his heart breaks, even more. It aches like acid was poured on it, and no amount of breathing techniques he’d used to get in the game before his boxing matches help. No, the tears win, and though he feels weak for it, he lets them free. Lets them be testaments of his feelings for you, of the loneliness that’s been creeping on him every fucking day since he felt you on his dick for the first time.

The car looms closer to the wall and tonight, Jungkook thinks it may very well meet its end sooner than expected.

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☆☆☆☆☆

*chuckles* we're in danger. What did you guys think about this one? I'm so afraid you won't like the direction this fic is taking :') let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

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[hwnglx]

dating bts - q&a

personality qualities they like, what is love to them, mtl easy to date as a “regular” person, is jin unpopular or just shy, jin's favorite type of dates, taehyung's relationship with jennie, jimin's jealousy, new pet for jk and his fs? etc.

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

all members

❥ what kind of qualities (personality) does bts like?

seokjin: a person with a lot of depth. the type of people who get more interesting and intriguing the better you get to know them, and the more layers you peel back. i also got the card of the lovers, which is ruled by gemini -> someone smart he can enjoy mentally stimulating conversations with; especially the ones that have the potential to open your eyes to some things you didn't consider before. i can see him liking to bond with people in an intellectual manner. jin likes people whose minds and hearts align with his (i keep hearing “마음 통해” which basically translates to that) openminded and sweethearted people, who make him feel understood and loved for everything that he comes with, including his quirks and insecurities. he likes people who display sources of affection and support to the people around them, and bring this sense of harmony to situations that seem chaotic on the outside. boiling down to the libra archetype; someone who's charming, kind, loving and balanced. air signs, you have this man's heart.

yoongi: direct, straightfoward and assertive people, who aren't afraid to courageously speak their mind. an individualistic and self-aware person who doesn't put much importance into fitting in, or blending in with the crowd, and goes after their own personal objectives without really caring about what others think. someone who knows what they want and need in life, and doesn't shy away from taking the necessary action. at the same time, he likes chill and laidback people who don't engage in unnecessary and childish drama. someone who doesn't just speak empty words or creates conflicts out of thin air, but has good tact and appropriate sense of timing. strategic, smart and quick-witted people you can hold interesting conversations with.

hobi: mature and future-oriented. someone who doesn't dwell on the past and tries to always keep an optimistic attitude and outlook on life. people who aren't afraid to dream high, have their personal goals for life. someone who not actively strives for happiness and contentment within themselves, but also spreads the joy to the people around them. rather than people who are extremely uptight, intense, stern and take life too seriously; hobi likes sweet people who always try to see the positive in things. people who know how to appreciate what they have, and can find happiness in the little things. he likes a person he can enjoy the simple blessings of life with.

namjoon: someone who knows how to count and appreciate their blessings in life, while also not being afraid or running away from the inevitable negativity it can come with. openly celebrates the upsides, doesn't reject the downsides. someone with a realistic and grounded attitude and approach towards life. well-rounded, multi-faceted, upright and mature. honest and well-spoken. knows how to get to the core of things -> doesn't shy away from talking about deeper and more vulnerable topics, but does it in a gentle and careful manner. intelligence. emotionally, as well as intellectually. someone wise who can match him in terms of his philosophical vein, and has a good understanding of life. i got the card of the empress (lying in the middle of the three of swords and three of cups), which represents a beautiful mother figure, who's not not only the nurturer of the deck, but also known to multitask in an effortless manner.

taehyung: friendly people who are capable of emotionally profound and meaningful connections to others. someone pleasant, with a calm presence, who makes you feel comfortable. he also likes it when a person is stable, reliable, keeps their promises and has a strong sense of responsibility; the type of person who has developed a good balance between keeping both their work and personal life in check. wouldn't sacrifice one for the other. in addition, he likes people who are wise, intelligent, knowledgable with a sense of complexity to their personality. someone sensible who knows about the importance of keeping your cards close to your chest, and knows how to keep a secret. rather than people who just go around like an open book, sharing their business with everyone, he likes it when someone carries themselves with poise, and an enchanting type of mystery.

jimin: someone emotionally intelligent and in tune with their feelings, who approaches others with a genuine sense of compassion and understanding. people who know what it's like to struggle in life. i can see jimin feeling drawn towards people who've lived through certain difficulties themselves, and are therefore capable of bringing a different type of empathy to the table. non-judgemental and kind people who make you feel understood and accepted for who you are at your core, regardless of your downfalls and faults, or superficial flaws others might deem as unattractive. (nearly everytime i read for him, i get the feeling he's a little worried about being judged for his imperfections..) he likes it when someone has an inspiring and uplifting effect on others, and is capable of pulling the good out of every situation, no matter how awful it might seem. a bright-spirited person, who is able to find the light in the darkest of tunnels.

jungkook: someone bold, with a strong and powerful presence. a disciplined person who knows exactly what they want and has a clear direction in life. he likes it when people are sure of themselves, and not only aware of their objectives and ambitions in life, but also not afraid to take action, and do whatever it takes to reach their goals -> independent people who courageously put in relentless effort into their endeavours without batting an eye. he likes people whose energies light up a room. in addition, i can see jk feeling intrigued by people who are different to him, in language, culture, lifestyle, etc. or let's say someone has this specific hobby they're very good at and invested in, he'd feel inspired by that; especially if he himself believes he isn't good at it. lastly, he likes it when people aren't shy to be straightforward in their expression, and outspoken. he definitely enjoys mental challenges and playful bickering, and can feel drawn to people who aren't afraid to poke and provoke him sometimes.

❥ what is love to bts?

jimin didn't seem very comfortable with this question, so i excluded him

seokjin: to jin, love is something that flows. it comes to you naturally and progressively, and makes you want to share the valuable times you usually spent on your own, with another person. it makes you want to put your own selfish needs and desires aside, and willingly compromise with your partner; simply because you care about them, and genuinely love them. love isn't overly complicated to jin, it can be if you want to look at it that way; however, he prefers seeing it as something that makes life fun and exciting again, as opposed to displaying a source of pressure and weight. more than anything, he wants to just enjoy the sole feeling of being in love. he doesn't enjoy the thought of feeling attached or tied to someone in a suffocating manner but instead, sees coming together with his lover, as something that can first and foremost bring you pure joy and happiness. he wants to foster an atmosphere of natural understanding, consideration, and harmony. he believes love is about giving and receiving in an equal exchange, rather than strong power dynamics, and wants his lovers to feel heard out, listened to and cared about. he wants them to feel like their opinion matters, not any more than his, but also not any less.

yoongi: to yoongi, love is something that can require you to get out of your comfort zone. it might be a matter he doesn't exactly feel like his most comfortable or real self in, as he can often primarily see the limitations the heaviness of the word can come with. or shall i say, the weight society naturally ties to that word, as opposed to what it truly is in his eyes. he might not be the type to say “i love you” to many people, but instead, displays his love and affection by remaining consistent and persistent in his interest towards knowing, and understanding all of the facets of the person he's with. rather than taking it too deep, yoongi likes having relationships that can reflect positively in each other's independent lives. meaning, he believes that love can have a significant impact on the way you carry yourself, view the world, in retrospect treat the people around you. he believes when you love someone, you will want to have those impactful and significant conversations, that spark important mental breakthroughs in each other, and naturally bring you a refreshing sense of power within yourself. he believes love is when people make each other feel understood, supported, empowered, strong and encouraged.

hobi: (not him showing me an entire lovestory i will cry) to hobi, love is something pure that bares your soul. it's something where, you aren't afraid to allow your walls to come down and make yourself vulnerable to someone. i heard “home”. he believes that love should make you feel comfortable, and safe. it makes you want to open yourself up to a person in all your entirety, and feel accepted and loved for everything that you come with. in his eyes, if you love someone, you will love them unconditionally; with all their faults, downfalls, flaws and blemishes. but you will also be a strong source of support, and help the person with improving themselves as much as they can. hobi sees love as something that makes you care about someone in a profound manner, it awakens your desire to look after someone, and asks you to put the entirety of your heart, soul and effort into it. he believes that love consists of making the most beautiful memories together and treasuring them for a lifetime. he also sees marriage as a significant factor, which should come to you as a natural desire, once you realize the person you're with is the one you wanna be with for a lifetime.

namjoon: to namjoon, love is an uniquely universal feeling that connects people all over the world in a way like nothing else can. he sees love as something that requires straightforwardness, honesty and effective communication. in his eyes, in order to know whether it's love or not; you have to observe whether the both of you feel comfortable about speaking and showcasing yourself and all your facets truthfully, and feel understood for what your most authentic self consists of. he wishes for love to be an equal exchange of give and take, ying and yang; a balanced union where the two of you not only complement and complete each other perfectly, but naturally support each other in the pursuit of your individual endeavors. joon thinks that love should make you want to take care of your own self too, and make the healthiest choices possible, in order to serve the precious person you owe being your best self to. if he's in love, he wants to better himself continuously and expects the same in return.

taehyung: to taehyung, love is the perfect, and most fulfilling union between people. he believes that love is pure and innocent in its rawest form, and emotionally connects people in this unique manner. he sees love as something that can come unexpectedly and catch you off guard, but pulls on your heartstrings like nothing else. it just heightens your emotions like nothing else ever could. taehyung sees love as something that starts off with two people sincerely enjoying each other's companies, and feeling this desire to be with each other continuously. he's someone who can genuinely cherish every second he spends with his lover, because it can make you feel like the world has never been as beautiful as during the moments you're together. in his eyes, love grows increasingly deep the more time is spent together, realizing that this is someone who completes me and heals me in ways nothing else could. he sees love as an intimate and unique bond that only the two of them can understand. he wants to consistently invest his effort into making sure the spark between the two remains alive, no matter how much time passes, and thinks that for love, nothing is ever truly enough.

jungkook: for jungkook, love gives you purpose. it's something that makes everything worth it; the continuous grind is worth it, the neverending hustle is worth it, the inner turmoil is worth it. the ship that was aimlessly sailing before, desperate to know what it's conquering all these storms for, finally knows its destination. love gives jk a reason to keep going. he looks at love as an eternal promise, to never stop working on yourself, out of the genuine desire to give the person you love what they deserve. a strong promise to remain fiercely devoted and dedicated to that one special person in your life. he believes that if you love someone, you should be willing to embrace everything that it can come with; the beautiful, fulfilling and enriching upsides, that make you feel like your most powerful and valuable self, as well as the strenous, demanding and often times weighty downsides, that can border on being torturous. you're willing to go through the dirt, because the love of your life is worth it. love makes jk realize that, life isn't just all about ourselves; it makes him acknowledge how in the end to him, one of the most rewarding ways to live is by unselfishly serving the person you love, and in case you start a family, providing the most treasured and important people in your life, with the feeling of security, stability and comfort.

❥ mtl easy to date as a “regular” person

pls remember this is just according to tarot and my observation, this list could be different for others!

#1 jimin: lovers and five of wands

surprised me a little, i won't lie. i don't jimin cares too much about the superficial factors to a person, such as financial or social status, etc.. moreso sees love as a profound and unique feeling, that isn't just limited to people in the same realm. he believes that even if, e.g. external forces or personal differences could potentially display sources of conflict for the two, if the love and attraction is powerful enough; they'll be able to make it through. he'd want to make it through. there's a bit of a naive and slightly delusional aspect to him here, which is sweet since.. he usually gives me darker energy in terms of romantic topics. he gives me a little lonely energy these days, he might feel a little desperate to finally find his person.

#2 taehyung: ace of swords

so, taehyung seems quite open to dating whoever he finds interesting, as long as he feels like their minds align. the ace is more of a seed that hasn't blossomed into anything substantial yet though, so while i do believe he'd be ready for the idea of it; there could be difficulties in it developing further. i see him more ready for a fling and casual dating, rather than a committed and devoted relationship. i can't shake off the feeling that for the longterm, he'd want someone who's a better match for him in terms of their financial means, their status, etc. i can see him still prefering to date a person who's somehow involved in the industry as well.

#3 yoongi: temperance and fool rx

so in true yoongi fashion, he gave me the “whatever” feeling. like, he doesn't really care if it's a regular person he met at the café shop or not, he will vibe with whoever he vibes with. however! the reversed fool is telling me a clear “i'm not ready to take any risks though” he's very intuitive and good at figuring people out. so, he won't jump into any connection carelessly, and absolutely won't entertain a relationship where he feels like he's the one pouring into the cup more than they are. he needs to feel like it's a balanced union, where they're both on the same page. so it's like, if he feels like the person is only there to get him to.. idk, constantly buy them stuff, pull the good out of dating a bangtan member; best believe, yoongi will be out the door right away.

#4 hobi: justice, ten of cups and king of pentacles

hm, i don't see hobi being fully against it. he usually doesn't discriminate or judge people based on superficial matters at first, and wouldn't necessarily let it stand in the way of love. however.. he does seem to have high standards, which i don't see everyone being capable of reaching. it's like, he gives in at first, but might quickly realize it doesn't work as well as he had thought. one thing that keeps coming through, is how he believes that in a relationship, the scale should be balanced. i can sense this being quite pronounced in a financial manner; i've seen this come through a few times now, where the members can at times, prefer dating someone who's in possession of their own financial means as well, since that'd rule out the possibility of them being taken advantage of financially. i also see him wanting his lovers to respect his need for autonomy when it comes to his career. he might feel like a person in a similar position would be more understanding and tolerant concerning his lifestyle.

#5 jungkook: ace of wands, four of swords, three of cups, three of pentacles and judgement

so, jk seems like a member who's openminded. i see him being able to find a seed of passion with a variety of people; doesn't matter if they're a regular civilian, celebrity, fellow idol, etc. (tbh i will also admit, the ace of wands is very physical too, so hooking up is more likely) however, seed is the deciding word here, since the connection developing further could be difficult. what's interesting is; i don't see this being because of him, but moreso because of his environment, and the unavoidable circumstances that come with dating a man of his status. he's someone who not only has a lot of people around him, in private or at work, but also a lot of eyes and microscopes on him; which could potentially end up putting his partner into that same harsh magnifying glass. the judgement card at the bottom of the deck made things click for me; he's afraid of the unfair judgement his person could be under. not only that, them being a “regular” person could make it even rougher on them and their mental state, since they're not used to all the attention. i can't help but feel bad for him, since i do believe he actually likes the idea of dating someone out of the limelight.. but he isn't sure if he'd make the decision to willingly put his lover through that.

#6 namjoon: high priestess

i believe namjoon would take a long time to warm up to the person. like you'd have to earn one hundred percent and every single ounce of his trust, in order for him to feel like he can be with you in such an intimate way. i don't see him completely closed off from the idea, but he'd test the waters for a good while. like getting to know you and studying you thoroughly, to make sure he can figure out your motives before giving in. this man is smart. like if you come to him with any ulterior motives, best believe he'll see right through you. you can't trick him. i feel like him and yoongi are the most “no bs” members, that you just can not fool. i also believe he puts a lot of importance into intelligence and education when it comes his partners. (i'm not saying “regular” people aren't educated, just an insight i got in regards to his standards)

#7 seokjin: wheel of fortune, queen of swords and devil

so, usually seokjin is more openminded. i don't see him directly rejecting the idea in the past. but, i keep getting the queen of swords for him.. he might've gone through some negative experiences, which have resulted in him being extra careful about letting people in. he reads as very guarded and cautious when it comes to who he allows into his private life. telling you all, these men have a lot! of people who just wanna be with them for greedy and selfish purposes. it's genuinely difficult to be sure that the person is with you, for you only, rather than what you could do for them. they literally see bangtan as opportunities, and ways to climb up the latter, gather attention, get money, etc. so i truly don't see seokjin being very open to the idea. he'd be closed off, i see him being mistrustful about everything.. like “why do you wanna know this, why do you wanna know that?”

seokjin

❥ recently jin said he hasn't been asked out by anyone, is he not popular or just shy?

i don't see him as unpopular (i don't really see anyone in bangtan being considered unpopular), but moreso as someone who gives off an unapproachable vibe.

people either seem to look at him as someone who

a) would reject them anyway

b) is quite secretive and closed off about his private life

c) is a free-spirit who just lives on his own terms

so, i can sense reluctance in confidently approaching him. i can also sense some people looking at him as more of a friendly guy you can have easygoing and comfortable times with, rather than a person they see themselves dating.

he isn't necessarily shy; just very independent, and clear in his boundaries.

jin is immensely protective of his autonomy, and his career. he seems quite adamant in making sure people respect which lines they can and can't cross, and firmly separates his professional and personal life.

he seems like one of the members, who appears to be less trusting when it comes to letting people from the outside enter his life. jin usually prefers keeping things professional and work-oriented, or lighthearted and superficial.

i don't see him actually letting many people in on a personal level, so that discreet energy will understandably radiate to the outside -> people won't just go up to him as easily.

❥ what kind of dates does jin enjoy the most?

so right away, i saw this image of him sitting in the mountains with his lover, or laying in the grass while gazing at the stars. he seems to go two ways:

one: he likes intimacy. jin wants to enjoy quiet alone-time with his lover, where they can just blend out the loud noise from the outside world. especially when it comes to them getting to know each other through conversations; he wants to zone in on the person he's listening to, and closely listen to what they have to say. an example would include, sitting in a cozy café without many people, just the two of you in your own bubble for a short while. that gives them the opportunity to focus on one another closely.

two: he likes to explore the world together. jin is someone who likes the thought of having fun and interesting experiences with his lover, that only the two of them can share and naturally bond over. an example would include, taking a trip to a foreign country and exploring the difference in culture, food, etc. he definitely seems like quite the open-minded and spontaneous boyfriend, who'd be up to do many different things. let's say you signed up to a, idk.. pottery class but don't want to go on your own; he'd join you. even if he usually couldn't care less about it.

taehyung

❥ what was taehyung's relationship with jennie like?

it was quick and ended fast, but very passionate. they definitely had the potential for a solid foundation and it could've developed into a more stable and lasting connection, if only they had been more patient with it. they got quite lost in the thrill and excitement of it all. especially taehyung. i did a reading on it already, you can read it here.

jimin

❥ does jimin get jealous easily?

i got the king of cups reversed, which in a traditional sense would mean “no”. however, it's also giving.. if i'm not emotionally invested: no. if i am emotionally invested: yes.

though again.. i truly don't see him letting it get to that state in the first place; just rarely. i'd be genuinely surprised to hear him having had several committed and serious relationships that involved heavy feelings.

the card is also telling me about jimin's imbalance in emotions, and how he can have issues and insecurities about leaning into that side of himself more. it's almost like, he's lying to himself and deluding himself that he doesn't get jealous. although deep down he does. it's like, his heart and emotions win over his head and logic in that moment of jealousy, which can be something he doesn't enjoy.

i don't think he likes himself in an emotionally ridden state.. at all. he almost seems scared of it, because it can get quite dark, confusing and overwhelming for him. (note: if he's a sag rising, both his venus and mars in scorpio could fall into his 12th house, which would explain a lot of this)

i'm also sensing a fear of losing control over himself here, once he gets too caught up in the intensity of his feelings. that's the side of him he's likely to prefer suppressing, keeping under tight wraps and not showcasing to many people.

jungkook

❥ bonus: would jungkook be willing to get another dog or cat if his fs wanted to?

lol cute, the king of wands flew out immediately, so; yes. he seems quite confident in his ability to raise pets, especially dogs. it seems like he truly enjoys taking care of them, and holding the responsibility over them. it's very much giving a proud kangaji appa.

jk also seems to like the thought of putting their teamwork to the test; seeing how successful they could be at sharing the workload, and compromising together. almost like a test to see how well they would cooperate together as parents.

he's very adamant on making sure his fs acknowledges the significant role they play in raising the pet though, and actively doing their part. he wouldn't just want all the work dumped onto him. (kinda cute how serious he's taking it not gonna lie, but raising a pet is def no joke and requires nerves of steel! nine year long tired dog mother talking from experience)

he also seems quite protective; like he or she better along well with my son! (not bam saying hi in the reading) he'd put importance into making sure the new doggy or kitty addition would nicely fit into his already established little family.

separate post for jjk coming soon, stay tuned 🤍 i will link it here

[akookminsupporter]

I’m reading Hobi’s interview with Weverse Magazine, and it’s really good. I love these interviews with the magazine because I think they’re the only ones that manage to get the guys to open up. They give deeper answers, and it lets us get a glimpse of how their minds work. Hobi said some really interesting things, but as a BTS fan, I want to share this:

The thing is, BTS started with hip hop at its foundation and progressively became more pop-oriented. Throughout that process, we tried so many different songs—some fit me like a glove, while others felt a little off but I could still suck in my stomach to make them work. (laughs) Then we all went off doing our own thing, each with our own style. After pursuing our own little ventures, we are now coming back together, and I love that for us. At this point, I think we’re together because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company and get along. That’s what makes our work as a team so natural and effortless. And if you enjoy and appreciate each other’s company, it doesn’t matter if the clothes are a little tight at times because your hearts would still be in the right place. With that in mind, I believe the next step for BTS is to think about how we can shine as a team without diminishing our individual colors and identities.

[havithreatendub4]

#bts #Filming #MOTOE #Murder On The Orient Express #Willem Dafoe #gifs

Willem was also in Platoon, Once Upon A Time In Mexico and Cry Baby with Johnny

[bangtanhoesthings]

I saw a comment somewhere that said " I believe Jikook are really together and they will live their truth out loud once they come out of the military.''

Let me put my tin foil hat on and accept the "togetherness" beyond all reasonable doubt for the sake of this argument .

Do I think they would?

Hmm, maybe but probably not.

Let me explain.

I lived in Korea for 14 months whilst getting my Masters. That country is very conservative. I tend to tell my friends that technologically and developmentally, they are leaps and bounds above most countries. But culturally and societal wise, most of Korea is still in the 1950s.

Looking at Korea through the lens of kpop and also kdramas makes people think it's an accepting society. Watching your fave male idols wear skirts, blush, pink, dangle earrings does nothing for the actual LGBTQ rights on the ground. Absolutely nothing. Queer people in South Korea face prejudice, discrimination, and other barriers to social inclusion, the worst among the countries in the developed world. Just a few weeks ago, over 200K Christians took to the streets to protest the anti-discrimination law which among other things would have been a positive step for queer rights.

In a country that's highly unaccepting of things that are different, coming out can put your life and safety at risk and is not advisable.

Would idols from a big group like BTS coming out be a positive thing for the 🌈 movement in SK? Of course. But it would still be an uphill battle and the toll it would take on their mental health is unimaginable.

What I am trying to say is, put your expectations at zero. Because the reality is if any of the members of BTS are LGBTQ, they may never come out and that's okay. They don't owe anyone that. The way society doesn't expect straight people to come out, is the same way it should stop expecting queer people to as well.

I am bisexual and I live in a country where being queer is a criminal offence. I could be arrested and put in prison. I have made peace with the fact that I will never come out, I probably never will be with a woman either. It breaks my heart but that's my reality. Jikook reality is not as extreme as mine, but sometimes the court of public opinion can be just as brutal.

All in all, I believe in living life on your own terms, whatever that looks like. Whether it's taking the risk-jumping off a cliff and learning how to fly in the process. Or taking the safer route and choosing not to jump at all. As long as you are happy, I am happy for you.

I think this grace should be extended to these men, whatever their orientation may be. BTS have made history by paving the way in some circles, this 🌈 may be one of the doors they decide to open for idols someday. Or it is just as likely we may never know, and that's ok. It's none of our business anyway.

Peace and love.