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bunnitears · 5 years ago

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Nervous Habit

{ Reupload because I'm dumb.. don't ask }

Has your mom ever told you to never talk to people you don't know? "Y/N, you can never talk to strangers. You don't know what they're thinking." My mom would tell me that a lot as a child and I've always listened. Actually, it's now developed into a sort of problem.

I'm afraid of men. There. It's out in the open. And before somebody out there gets offended, I want to explain myself, without going into too much detail, that is.

I was hurt. I know, it's cliche, at least in my mind. "A young girl was victimized and was traumatized beyond repair." That sounds like the plot of almost every episode of Law and Order. But, it's my reality and I can't change the past. People tell me I can change the future, and sure, I absolutely can. But do I want to?

Not really… I don't see a need to try and conquer my fear. I'm not interested in dating or meeting a guy for any reason. And unfortunately, I'm just not romantically attracted to girls. Though sometimes I wish I was, I'm just not. And I don't want to try and date anyone I'm not attracted to. That's not fair for anybody involved. I'll settle for having close friends.

Speaking of close friends, the only one who knows of my fear is my best friend Maya. She's a Bengal cat shifter, and even though I'm a boring old human, we've been best friends for 7 years and counting.

We met in maybe 6th grade biology and bonded over knowing absolutely nothing about biology. And not really caring about it, either. We've been by each other's side ever since.

-----

12 Days Until Christmas

Maya and I have plans to go out for coffee and get some shopping done. We've decided to meet at the coffee shop down the street from my house around noon. When it's not too busy and not too cold as the sun is still out.

As I'm finishing getting ready, putting on a final coat of mascara, I see Maya's face pop up on my phone next to me.

"Hey hey!" I say cheerily as I put Maya on speaker. I'm really starting to get into the Christmas spirit.

"Hi…" Maya says. I immediately notice that she doesn't sound too good. Her voice sounds like the equivalent of tires rolling on gravel, just hoarse and crunchy.

"Maya are you alright? You don't sound too great." She starts to answer but is cut off by a coughing fit.

"Yeah… I'm okay. I just have a cold. I don't think I can go shopping today though…"

"Maya, of course you can't, you need to rest. Do you need any help? I can come over if you want." I tell her.

"No, please don't worry. Minhyuk's gonna come over after work. I'll be alright." Minhyuk is Maya's boyfriend. They've been together so long, maybe 3 years at this point. It's pretty incredible.

Seeing them together and almost nauseatingly happy, it sort of makes me yearn for somebody to hold. But, that would mean talking to somebody, and having social anxiety as bad as I do, that's not an easy task.

I can't even order coffee in person. I order online and pick it up to avoid talking to anybody. And before you say it, I do realize it's a problem, but it's easier to be alone. I can look for my Prince Charming later.

"Okay good," I start. "I'm sure with him by your side you'll be up and running by tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure. He always makes me feel better." She says. There was an attempt at a laugh, but that just turns into a lot of painful sounding coughs.

"But Y/N, can you do me a small favor?" Maya asks.

"Yeah Maya, whatever you need." And I do mean that. She is my best (and maybe only) friend after all.

"Can you please, please, pretty please woth a cherry on top, promise me that you'll go outside today." I should've known.

"I don't want you cooped up inside your apartment all day long. It's not healthy." I realize Maya is only looking out for me, but I like staying inside and I don't think she gets that. Even after knowing me for as long as she has.

"Maya, it's not a big deal…" I say. "But for you, I'll go out and do some shopping, okay? I'll even talk to somebody."

Do I mean that?

"Okay good! Great! Thanks Y/N, you know I'm only looking out for you. I'll text you later, okay?" Maya says sleepily.

"Okay, feel better Maya. Keep me posted. Bye."

No. I didn't mean what I said. Do I feel bad for lying to her? Absolutely. But I had to. Maya is often my only reason for going outside and if she knew how mad my social anxiety has been these past few weeks she'd be disappointed in me. She may even be mad at me. It's just easier if she thinks I can still go out and function.

I even work from home as a freelance proofreader. I already have my dream job - I'm reading for a career. I love it.

I make enough to sustain myself and put something away for savings. I don't have a car to make payments on. I have no pets to care for. I'm not strapped for cash.

I'm comfortable. I hardly leave my apartment unless I'm actually craving sunlight, but I'm happy with my life.

Although, maybe a pet wouldn't be so bad. My aunt has three dogs and she just adores them like her own children. Seeing her with them makes me think it may be a good idea to rescue a furry friend to keep my company. I've never really had a pet before, anyway.

I think I'll look into adopting a pet of some kind. I've heard they are theraputic after all and I'm sure Maya would say I could use some therapy.

-----

Four Days Until Christmas

"Maybe a cat would suit you better, you don't do the whole… "outside" thing and dogs need to go outside."

Maya says as she takes a bite of her turkey sandwich. Maya is finally feeling better and she asked me out for lunch on this very snowy winter day. I haven't been outside since before Maya got sick a little over two weeks ago. Adding that to the 3 weeks before she got sick that I didn't go outside, I haven't been outside in approximately… a sickeningly long amount of time. I know, pathetic. But I'd never tell Maya about it. She'd get angry and frustrated with me. It's not worth it.

For her sake, I told her I've been out of the house for at least an hour every other day and that seemed to ease her mind.

"You know what, that's probably a better idea." I say before taking a sip of my hot chocolate. I look at Maya as her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. I can practically see the wheels turning in her head at the revelation she seems to have stumbled upon.

"Actually, you know what!" She starts.

Staring straight into my eyes she nearly shouts,

"You should adopt a Hybrid!"

My own eyes widen at her comment. Adopt a Hybrid? I'm not sure about the social norms in your society, but in mine, Hybrids are tetering on the line between normal civilian and property. As barbaric as that sounds, it's just the truth of the matter.

While Shifters like Maya are widely accepted because of their ability to hide their animal counterparts almost completely, Hybrids are a different story. Hybrids have their ears, tails, scales, feathers, and whatever else they could have on full display at all hours of the day and society isn't okay with that.

And adopting a Hybrid is just not right in my eyes. No matter what you are, Human, Hybrid, Dragon, Goblin, you are not to be bought or sold.

"A Hybrid Maya? You know how I feel about that…" I sort of trail off my last statement because she does already know my views on this subject.

"I know, I know, but it's really not as big a deal as you make it out to be. Minhyuk was adopted and he has a great life!" Maya says enthusiastically. Minhyuk does have a great life. He was lucky enough to have a great owner named Jooheon who treats Minhyuk like he would a brother. But there's so many Hybrids who arent as lucky.

"I don't know Maya. The idea of "owning" another person is so… pre-Civil War-esque."

Maya sighs. "Y/N, I know that you know how badly some Hybrids are treated by their owners." She begins.

"But I know that you would never treat anybody badly. You're an amazing person once you break down those walls! I really think you should think about it. There's a lot of Hybrids who need help…"

She gives me a sympathetic smile and places her hand over mine. I know that there's thousands of Hybrids who need good homes. And yes, I know I'm perfectly capable of helping at least one of them.

I'm just afraid. I'm afraid of not being a good owner for them. I'm afraid of disappointing them. I just don't know if I'm a good enough person. But all Maya asked me to do was think about, so I guess I can give her that.

-----

Christmas Eve

Maya and I spent the rest of lunch that day talking about the pros and cons of adopting a Hybrid and by the end of it, I had made up my mind. I wanted to adopt one. But now that we're walking to the shelter on Christmas Eve, I'm even more depressed. It's freezing out, the snow must be 4 inches thick on the ground, there's people everywhere, and all I can think about is my book nook in my kitchen and the pile of books waiting for me.

Oh, and by the way, I had to make an appointment with a Hybrid Match Specialist at the shelter. They're supposed to help me find the right kind of Hybrid for me. Maya has been trying to explain the different species and subspecies of Hybrids to me as we walk to the shelter, but it's too much information. There's so many kinds! And they're all different in every way.

There's Reptile Hybrids who are better suited for people who like to explore and party. There's Dog Hybrids who work well with energetic, health conscious people. And Cat Hybrids who like someone calm and family oriented. And the list goes on and on.

Maya continues to ramble on about the differences and complexities of each Hybrid species as we finally reach the shelter in the middle of the city. The building in one of the tallest, it looks like nearly 40 stories. Why is this shelter so big, anyway?

I look up at the building towering over me and I'm frozen in my spot, not just from the cold, but from the events that will transpire in less than two hours. Maya continues walking into the building and all I can do is stare up at this building. I may end up leaving with a whole other person that I will be solely responsible for. And it's not just that, what if that person's a man? I really don't mean to be rude, I'm just not comfortable around men and I haven't been in a very long time. I'm horrified of walking into this building and it must show because Maya stands in front of me and takes my gloved hands in hers.

She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and says, "Y/N? Can you hear me?" I'm still looking up at the skyscraper. Thoughts zooming through my mind like a Nascar race. She places a hand on my cheek and lightly forces me to look in her eyes. She flashes me a sympathetic smile.

"If you really don't wanna do this, you don't have to. We can turn around right now and I can take you home." She says gently.

I know I can go home, all of this is voluntary, after all. I'm torn, I feel like I'm at war with myself. On one hand, I can walk into this building and come out with an adoring companion who will be with me until the end of my days. On the other hand, am I willing to let this person into my home? My safe space. The place I cherish and the place I know I can never be harmed? What if this person has ill intentions? What if they just wanna get out of the shelter and will do anything to make that happen? There's so many things that could go wrong, so many ways I could get hurt.

"I wanna do this." I say with a heavy sigh. Maya grips my hand tighter and pulls me by neck into a bone crushing hug. She says she's proud of me, says I won't regret this. I don't believe her, but I'd really, really like to.

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onewhoturns · 6 years ago

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100 truths?

edit: fuck! forgot to mention I was tagged by @mocarro

1.) Real name: Turner 2.) Nicknames: Turner? 3.) Zodiac Sign: *sigh* 4.) Male or Female: (>.> not gonna include nb/gq/ag stuff? really? let’s fix that) 4.) Gender: female 5.) Nursery: the fuck does this mean, I’m painfully american 6.) Primary School: I did that, part private part public, G&T program (I’d regret it, but most of my teachers were good and I was comfortable being a complete nerd) 7.) Secondary School: not as good as primary, but that was mostly internal stuff, no bullying or anything 8.) Hair Color: dark brown 9.) Long or Short: used to be down to my lower back, now it’s shoulder length 10.) Loud or Quiet: loud. I tend to have difficulty regulating my volume, but have definitely gotten better about it now that I’m an adult and I’m more aware of it (also thanks to helpful feedback from friends, family, housemates etc) 11.) Sweats or Jeans: pj pants. or jeans. 12.) Phone or Camera: phone 13.) Health Freak: nah 14.) Drink or Smoke: occasionally drink (twice a month? ish? not very often at all, and when I do it’s small amounts. don’t think I’ve had any alcohol since... february? not trying to abstain, just not big on it unless it tastes good) 15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: nope 16.) Political orientation: uhhhhhh liberal I guess? I’d say it without reservation but I’m sure someone could jump down my throat about “the liberals” and I’m over here just like lgbtq+ rights, affordable college tuition, affordable health care, etc. 17.) Piercings: had my ears pierced for all of 6 months but as soon as I took out the studs they closed up before I could put in another pair. yeah. so... no. 18.) Tattoos: nah. thought about it, but nah. HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]: 19.) Airplane: several times 20.) Car *Accident*: i guess? just a fender bender 21.) Fist Fight: nope, i’m weak af and not interested in physical confrontation FIRSTS: 22.) First piercing: ears 23.) First Best Friend: a girl named Beth in first grade, probably. but then I left after second, so never saw her again. 24.) First Instrument played: I’m sure I took piano lessons at some point. but did flute 5-6th grade. 25.) First award: I dunno, probably some participation award or something 26.) First Crush: Julio in kindergarten, apparently XD 27.) First Language: english. 28.) First Big Vacation: we went to maine all the time all through my primary school years LASTS: 29.) Last Person you talked to: out loud? grocery store cashier 30.) Last Person You Texted: if we’re counting discord @bloodofthepen, otherwise probably my mom. if we’re not counting discord but are counting messenger then my coworker/manager 31.) Last Person You Watched: watching jacksepticeye play observation atm 32.) Last Food You Ate: pirate’s booty 32.) Last Movie You Watched: uhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno. just marathoned what we do in the shadows, though (tv show, not movie) 34.) Last Song You listened to: On Your Way - the Album Leaf 35.) Last Thing You Bought: groceries 36.) Last Person You Hugged: coworker on his last day saturday FAVES: 37.) Food: chocolate croissant maybe? idk, i like a lot of foods. burrata maybe. 38.) Drinks: water (boring, whatever) 39.) Clothing: pj pants and hoodies 40.) Book: His Dark Materials 41.) Color: no fave, really, though I do tend to ask for green for my discord color 42.) Flower: no fave cause I know nothing about flowers. 43.) Music: the Decemberists are up there, as is Death Cab For Cutie and Darlingside 44.) Movie: too many faves. here’s the top ten in no order. 46.) Subjects: psych

IN THE PAST YEAR I… 47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain 48.) [ ] Celebrated Halloween. 49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken 50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone 51.) [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation. (tbf it was one of these ask meme things, and it wasn’t questioned as much as asked) 52.) [ ] Used a Weapon 53.) [ ] Breathed fire 54.) [ ] Had an Abortion 55.) [x] Done something you’ve Regretted 56.) [x] Broke a Promise 57.) [x] Kept a Secret 58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy 59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life 60.) [ ] Pretended To Be Sick 61.) [ ] Left The Country 62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it. 63.) [x] Cried Over The Silliest Thing 64.) [ ] Ran a Mile 65.) [x] Went To the Beach 66.) [x] Stayed Single CURRENTLY: 67.) Eating: gonna have some more pirate’s booty when I’m done typing 68.) Drinking: water 69.) Getting Ready To: stay up too late watching or listening to videos or podcasts or maybe playing a game who knows 70.) Listening To: nothing right this second, but I was listening to part four of Film Reroll’s ET game earlier 71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: first day off in a week, gonna sleep a lot and maybe wash my hair 72.) Waiting For: sleep YOUR FUTURE: 73.) Want Kids: nah 74.) Want To Get Married: idk, maybe if i meet someone great 75.) Careers in minds: no clue, I’m somewhat bemused that I’m still alive WHICH IS BETTER ON A GIRL/GUY: (again blatant nb/gq/ag exclusion) ON A PERSON/PARTNER: 76.) Lips or Eyes: uhhhh depends. probably lips? 77.) Shorter or Taller: not much of a preference, but probably taller just cause i’m already quite short 78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: (I’m really not a person to ask these questions, I have so little opinion on this sort of thing) probably spontaneous? I’m super adhd and also super depressed, and novelty is good for me. 79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: (another question I have no strong opinions on-- and am not a huge fan of tbh) lately I’ve been a sucker for ladies with nice arms 80.) Sensitive or Loud: knowing when to be one or the other 81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: fwb/casual relationship 82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: neither? confident but not a dick for the sake of making trouble. self-aware. HAVE YOU EVER: 83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: don’t wear glasses but i’ve lost sunglasses before 84.) Ran Away From Home: no 85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: nope 86.) Killed Somebody: who would admit to this? 87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: maybe. i’ve definitely turned people down before, and based on their reactions maybe. 88.) Been Arrested: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 90.) Yourself: I mean, I exist. I’m relatively confident about some things, and quite pessimistic and self-defeating about others 91.) Miracles: meh. not really. 92.) Love at First Sight: nah. interest for sure, and chemistry, but not full-on love 93.) Heaven: nope 94.) Santa Claus: nah (also: atheist jew, so not really my bag to begin with) 95.) Easter Bunny: nope (see above) 96.) Magic: hm, not per se, but there are so-called witches out there that I think can definitely affect their own lives and therefor the lives of others with the actions they take in the name of magic (so more of a “be the change you wish to see in the world” sort of thing than a love potion or lucky charm sort of thing. i guess i believe in the power of magic to individuals rather that magic on it’s own) ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: ehhhh not really 98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: no, but there’s not anywhere else I can see myself either 99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: no one? yeah, pretty okay with it. not interested in looking for anything else, anyway. 100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: @iron-moon @bloodofthepen @artemis-crimson @hirvitank @artabria (no pressure, and if anyone else wants to do it go for it)

#personal #tag meme #long post

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samathos · 6 years ago

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tagged by @vanills-rp-blog

1.) Real Name: Enno 2.) Nicknames: I don’t really have a nickname. 3.) Zodiac Sign: Aries 4.) Male or Female: male 5.) Nursery: I think I was in one 6.) Primary School: two actually 7.) Secondary School: Eyup 8.) Hair Color: Blond. Gets darker in winter 9.) Long or Short: pretty long 10.) Loud or Quiet: quiet but if we know each other I get louder 11.) Sweats or Jeans: Jeans 12.) Phone or Camera: Phone 13.) Health Freak: I drink water regularly, does that count? 14.) Drink or Smoke: Drink 15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I guess yeah 16.) Political orientation: Leftish green? 17.) Piercings: none 18.) Tattoos: not yet HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]: 19.) Airplane: Yes 20.) Car *Accident*: Someone opened their door inty my car. Does that count as an accident? 21.) Fist Fight: not really FIRSTS: 22.) First piercing: don’t have one but maybe ears? 23.) First Best Friend: Don’t know. Most likely don’t talk anymore 24.) First Instrument played: Piano :3 25.) First award: Ski slalom award of the ski school when I was like 5 or smth 26.) First Crush: Some girl in 6th grade 27.) First Language: German, and first language learned was english 28.) First Big Vacation: My parents took me on vacation since I was a baby. I’m guessing somewhere in france LASTS: 29.) Last Person you talked to: My dad on the rammstein concert yesterday 30.) Last Person You Texted: My crush actually 31.) Last Person You Watched: I don’t know? Some youtuber? 32.) Last Food You Ate: Cornflakes for breakfast 32.) Last Movie You Watched: Monster Inc. 34.) Last Song You listened to: Ohne dich - Rammstein 35.) Last Thing You Bought: a tank of gas for my car

36.) Last Person You Hugged: My ex three days ago FAVES: 37.) Food: Kässpatzen 38.) Drinks: Beer 39.) Clothing: Black, dark gray, Hoodies 40.) Book: Lord of the Rings 41.) Color: black isn’t a colour so purple 42.) Flower: Don’t know 43.) Music: Can’t pick 44.) Movie: Ghost Rider 46.) Subjects: History, Math

IN THE PAST YEAR I… 47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain 48.) [ x ] Celebrated Halloween. 49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken 50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone 51.) [ ] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation. 52.) [ ] Used a Weapon (I shoot with a bow… so yeah) 53.) [ ] Breathed fire 54.) [ ] Had an Abortion 55.) [ x ] Done something you’ve Regretted 56.) [ ] Broke a Promise 57.) [ x ] Kept a Secret 58.) [ x ] Pretended To Be Happy 59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life 60.) [ ] Pretended To Be Sick 61.) [ x ] Left The Country 62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it. 63.) [ ] Cried Over The Silliest Thing 64.) [ ] Ran a Mile 65.) [ ] Went To the Beach 66.) [ x ] Stayed Single CURRENTLY: 67.) Eating: Watching youtube 68.) Drinking: noddin 69.) Getting Ready To: Go to work I guess 70.) Listening To: the youtube video I’m watching 71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: work and get my car checked through 72.) Waiting For: Dunno, nothing really YOUR FUTURE: 73.) Want Kids: Not really 74.) Want To Get Married: Sure 75.) Careers in minds: Computer stuff or something with cars WHICH IS BETTER ON A GIRL/GUY: 76.) Lips or Eyes: Do I have to decide? 77.) Shorter or Taller: Both is nice 78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: Why not combine? 79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: Arms 80.) Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive 81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: Relationship 82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant to make trouble HAVE YOU EVER: 83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: Yes 84.) Ran Away From Home: Not really 85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defence: Nope 86.) Killed Somebody: No? 87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: Don’t think so? 88.) Been Arrested: Nope DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 90.) Yourself: Sometimes 91.) Miracles: Yea 92.) Love at First Sight: Nope 93.) Heaven: Meh 94.) Santa Claus: Nope 95.) Easter Bunny: Nuh 96.) Magic: A bit yeah ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: My crush 98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: No way 99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: I’m with noone 100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: @tis-i-the-most-uncooked-fry @fruity-pies @liebe-ist-ein-wildes-tier

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tinambc · 6 years ago

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100 Truths

I just got tagged by @noisy-kitten to do this, so here goes...

100 Truths

1.) Real Name: Tina

2.) Nicknames: I don’t have one, but some friends do put their own spin on my name from time to time...

3.) Zodiac Sign: Libra ⚖️

4.) Male or Female: Female

5.) Nursery: I preferred to go see what the “older” kids were being taught!

6.) Primary School: A lot of pleasant memories!

7.) Secondary School: A lot of studying.

8.) Hair colour: Light brown

9.) Long or Short: On the longer side at the moment

10.) Loud or Quiet: Quiet, unless I have something to say - rest assured you’ll hear it.

11.) Sweats or Jeans: Jeans

12.) Phone or Camera: Phone

13.) Health Freak: I try?!

14.) Drink or Smoke: Yes (social drinking), and yes.

15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: How did you know?!

16.) Political orientation: Democratic, but my views are not being represented by any political party at the moment

17.) Piercings: 11 in total (ear and body ones)

18.) Tattoos: Yes, two near my ankles, one on each side

Have you ever been in:

19.) Airplane: Yes

20.) Car *Accident*: Yes, but thankfully nothing life threatening

21.) Fist Fight: No

Firsts:

22) First piercing: Earlobes

23.) First Best Friend: From 3rd to 6th grade, we’d sit next to each other in school, hang out and play a lot (she lived a few houses down the street)

24.) First Instrument played: Keyboard or recorder, don’t remember which was first.

25.) First award: End of seventh grade for my performance at school.

26.) First Crush: 5th & 6th grade, he asked we “go steady”, but I was shy and said no?!

27.) First Language: Greek

28.) First Big Vacation: Aedipsos, with my parents and my grandparents.

Lasts:

29.) Last Person you talked to: My boyfriend

30.) Last Person You Texted: My bff

31.) Last Person You Watched: Don’t remember

32.) Last Movie You Watched: Probably something stupid on Netflix.

34.) Last Song You listened to: The ones I’ll be dancing.

35.) Last Thing You Bought: Groceries. For me? Skincare.

36.) Last Person You Hugged: Boyfriend.

Favorites

38.) Drinks: Gin & Tonic, Margarita, beer, white wine and apple cider.

39.) Clothing: Whatever makes me feel good in it! Favorite items include a black top with feather embroidery instead of straps and a night sky print blazer.

40.) Book: So far, The name of the rose by Umberto Eco.

41.) Color: Used to be purple, but now, I don’t think I have one. I don’t really care for pink or yellow though.

42.) Flower: Red roses.

43.) Music: I go through phases!

44.) Movie: Blindness, Se7en, Das Experiment, Samsara.

46.) Subjects: Psychology and the occult.

In the last year

47.) [x] Kissed in the rain

48.) [x] Celebrated Halloween.

49.) [x] Had Your Heart Broken

50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone

51.) [ ] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation.

52.) [ ] Used a Weapon

53.) [ ] Breathed fire

54.) [ ] Had an Abortion

55.) [ ] Done something you’ve Regretted

56.) [x] Broke a Promise

57.) [x] Kept a Secret

58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy

59.) [?] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life

60.) [x] Pretended To Be Sick

61.) [ ] Left The Country

62.) [x] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it.

63.) [ ] Cried Over The Silliest Thing

64.) [x] Ran a Mile

65.) [ ] Went To the Beach

66.) [ ] Stayed Single

Currently

67.) Eating: nothing

68.) Drinking: Water

69.) Getting Ready To: Get my shit sorted

70.) Listening To: Nothing

71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: Study study study

72.) Waiting for: Lond days by the pool and my bf to come back.

Your future

73.) Want Kids: Yes!

74.) Want To Get Married: Yes

75.) Careers in mind: As steady and financially secure as can be.

What’s better on a guy or girl

76.) Lips or Eyes: Eyes

77.) Shorter or Taller: Taller for guys

78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: Both

79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: With nice arms, I’d overlook a less toned stomach

80.) Sensitive or Loud: That’s not an either/or question for me!

81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: Relationship

82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: Is balanced out of the question? Neither bossy nor doormat please!

Have you ever

83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: Yes

84.) Ran Away From Home: No

85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defence: No

86.) Killed Somebody: No

87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: Yes

88.) Been Arrested: No

Do you believe in

90.) Yourself: For the most part

91.) Miracles: Yes, but I do believe they have an explanation, that maybe we don’t know about yet

92.) Love at First Sight: Love? No.

93.) Heaven: Not sure. Definitely not the green garden type though

94.) Santa Claus: No

95.) Easter Bunny: No

96.) Magic: Yes

97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: Yes

98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: Er, no, I could use a serious upgrade

99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: Yes

100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: I tag @nymphadoraaddams and anyone else that likes to try it out! <3

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samwinlover-blog · 7 years ago

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Tuck the World Away

Pairing: teenage!Sam x teenage!reader Characters: Sam, the reader, mention of a few others Warnings: light swearing, some fluff, some angst, ya know a little bit of everything, no monsters au! Summary: An overview of (Y/N)’s relationship with Sam over the years A/N: Okay so I’m like really super proud of this one, idk why....so enjoy! Also I changed the tense for the first time so lmk how you like it! It was a little harder to write lol I kept finding myself saying “you” instead of “she” but whatever! Unbetad so all mistakes r mine:)

1990: Fourth grade

The elementary school’s doors seemed bigger and scarier than they every had before as (Y/N) walked in, clutching her mother’s hand tightly. She’d been there once before- to meet the principal and tour her new school- but it hadn’t seemed this terrifying back then.

Her pigtails bounced up and down as she walked in, peering around nervously at the sea of new faces. They all seemed friendly enough, but a giggle or smile here and there wasn’t enough to make (Y/N) want to let go of her mom’s hand.

The two of them walked to her classroom to greet (Y/N)’s new teacher. Mrs. Mayweather was a short, blonde haired woman with a kind face- dressed in a long floral dress that didn’t match the dreary weather outside.

“Alright sweetie, I have to go to work,” Mary (Y/L/N) squeezed her daughter’s hand once before turning to walk back down the hall, “Have fun at your first day of fourth grade!”

For a minute, (Y/N) didn’t know what to do with herself. Standing there awkwardly in front of the class, she felt completely out of place. Her pink shirt was too bright, her hair was too curly, and nobody else was wearing power rangers light up shoes.

“Everyone, this is (Y/N).” Mrs. Mayweather chirped,“She’s new this year from California, everybody say hello! You’ll be sitting in the back row, Honey, the open seat just there.”

Hi (Y/N), the class chorused, turning their heads to look at her and smiling.

She gave a halfhearted nod at the rest of the kids, shuffling awkwardly to find her seat next to a brown haired boy in a striped shirt. “Hi, my name’s Sam. Wanna be friends?” He said almost instantly after she sat down, smiling big and bright and gap toothed.

“I’m (Y/N), and, um, sure” She replied with a little grin.

And even though she wasn’t showing it, (Y/N) was ecstatic to have made her very first friend in New York.

1991: Fifth grade

(Y/N) had been going to Pratt Elementary school for a little over a year now, and had adjusted quite nicely. She made friends in her 4th grade class, which she then carried onto 5th grade, and discovered her love of reading through a boy named Sam Winchester.

Ever since the two of them became friends (Y/N)’s first day of school, they’d been attached at the hip. She taught him how to braid hair and he leant her a new book every week from his dad’s collection- which, as far as (Y/N) knew, went on forever.

Recently at school a rumor had been going around that Jenny Longmeyer and Billy Tang had kissed under the twisty slide at school. And as a result, even though they knew it probably wasn’t true, kissing seemed to be (Y/N) and Sam’s main topic of conversation.

One sunny afternoon, just after school got out, the two of them were sitting under their favorite tree waiting to be picked up. It was hotter than usual, and (Y/N) was squirming around in her sticky, wool-lined sweater, really fidgeting to no end.

“What’s the big deal with kissing?” Sam asked randomly, sighing and leaning back, “I just don’t get it.”

“Me neither- have you ever seen any grown ups do it?” She responded, absentmindedly running her hand over her initials carved into the tree’s trunk- right along side his.

“Nope,” Sam shrugged, “Only in movies. And even then- seems a little weird.”

“I don’t know....” (Y/N) turned to him, “Maybe we should try it- just to see what everyone’s talking about.”

Sam considered it for a moment, “My dad told me I could only kiss the girl I was gonna marry,”

“Oh come on!” (Y/N) hit his shoulder and whined, “Quit bein’ such a baby about it, Sam!”

“Alright, fine.” He said, rubbing his arm, “On three, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“One.....”

Both their hearts started thumping and they didn’t exactly know why.

“Two.....”

(Y/N) leaned in and closer her eyes, Sam did the same.

“Three!”

The two of them butted their heads together, pecking each other on the lips before pulling apart just as quick. It was awkward, half a second long, and everything you’d expect out of a first kiss.

(Y/N) rubbed her mouth in confusion, “Huh, that wasn’t all it’s chalked up to be.”

“I didn’t mind it,” Sam said shyly, chees going red before saying, “Hey, if you don’t end up marrying Billy or Charlie or anyone else in our class.... wanna marry me?

She thought about it for.a second before shrugging and saying, “Sure, why not! I gotta go though, my Mom’s here- see ya tomorrow, Sammy!”

1992: Summer of sixth grade “Sam!” (Y/N)’s vice shrieked over the phone, “What middle school are you going to?”

“Uh, one sec, lemme see.” He responded, the rustling of papers ringing in (Y/N)’s ear, “Thoreau School- please tell me you are too.”

“On ho,” (Y/N) already felt herself starting to cry, “Sammy, I’m going to Emerson.”

She heard him gasp over the phone, “What’s going to happy? (Y/N) are we still gonna be best friends forever??”

(Y/N) looked down at her wrist, at the bracelet fastened there that was twin to one on Sam’s ankle, “Yeah, Sammy, we’re always gonna be best friends forever.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

He let out a sigh of relief.

1995: Freshman year The first day of high school wasn’t exactly what (Y/N) had thought it would be.

She’d watched all the movies, read all the magazine articles, so she pretty much knew what to expect. Yet, still, when she walked into her first da. of freshman year, everything was pretty new.

The kids were bigger than they had been in Middle School, wore less clothing and smoked in the bathrooms- something (Y/N) had never done before. She’d walked in with her two best friends, Liz and Hannah, linking arms as they all tried to navigate the halls of their new school.

Freshman orientation was the first class they headed to, and met the rest of their grade. The way schools worked in Inlet, New York was this: there were two elementary schools, three middle schools, and only one high school. So (Y/N) found herself surrounded by a lot of people she'd never met before, or only knew from 4th and 5th grade.

The perfect example of this was the boy she found sitting to her right, someone she hadn’t thought about in a long, long time. Sam Winchester

She remembered they used to be best friends in elementary school, but then went to different middle schools. In 6th grade, they’d tried to keep in touch, but the inevitable had happened and they’d grown apart. After about a year, it got ot the point that they didn’t talk at all.

Back then Sam had been lanky, awkward and nerdy, but not anymore. Not at all. The guy (Y/N) found herself staring at was nothing like the kid she used to know.

Puberty must have hit him like a truck because he was god damn beautiful to her. Muscles seemed to bulge out of every inch of his tanned skin- which was almost glowing in the low light of the auditorium. His too-long, parted in the middle hair had been cut, and now hung about his face with just the right amount of shagginess to it.

When he turned to smile, she saw the white of his teeth flash, “Hey, (Y/N), right?”

“Yeah... Sam Winchester?”

“Yeah,” He chuckled, “It’s been.... years.”

“I know, She breathed, “Uh, what do you have next?”

“History,” He replied after looking down at his schedule, and then back up to her face.

“Me too!” She said, too loudly, too excitedly, “I mean, yeah, I have history too.”

But his face lit up, “Which one are you taking??”

“AP Ancient Greek studies,” She said sheepishly, it was such a nerdy class to be taking as a freshman.

“Me too! Can I walk you to class? Maybe we have the same teacher,” He smiled and picked up his bag, nodding towards the stairs and telling you to lead the way.

1996: Sophomore year (Y/N) had been dating Sam for a little over a year now, and was completely in love with him.

With him she felt free, wild even. LIke she could dance on tables or run through a storm without a care in the world, and he felt the exact same way. Their relationship was defined by their loose idea of love, and loving each other. Neither he nor she really knew what the word meant, but they did know it was what they were feeling.

(Y/N)’s idea of love was shaped by her parent’s example, watching sappy rom-coms with her friends and reading Romeo and Juliet on a rainy day. Her idea of love was spending all afternoon lazing around with Sam, tucking the rest of the world away from a few hours. Or getting lost in a corn maze like they had that one time on halloween, and laughing their asses off until Dean had to come find them. (Y/N)’s idea of love was Sam’s crazy, unkept hair in the morning- wild, off kilter and breathtaking.

Sam had a very different vision of love, and the girl he was in love with.

He took inspiration from the thousands upon thousands of books he’d read, because he didn’t have two parents to look up to. He looked towards his brother’s love, and knew that what he felt with (Y/N) was just as deep- even though it was a different type of love. Sam had learned from a young age that love was what you made it, and he’d decided that he was going to make his love with (Y/N) last.

But the first step to doing this, was telling her.

So one rainy night, when the two of them were curled up together in (Y/N)’s car, he leaned over and whispered it in her ear.

The sound of the rain almost drowned it out, and when (Y/N) didn’t respond at first he got nervous. But after a moment he heard a sniffle, and went to touch her face.

He quickly found tears wetting her cheeks, rolling down in thin streams to collect at the collar of her shirt. For a second he wasn’t sure how to react, how to respond.

But when he asked her why she was crying, she just whispered back it was because she loved him too. She told him she’d loved him since fourth grade, when they sat together in the back of class and drove Mrs. Mayweather insane. She’d loved him when they carved their initials into their favorite weeping willow, and she’d loved him when they’d kissed for the first time under that same tree.

He was the one crying now and he didn’t know how to respond. All he knew was that she was real, everything they had was real. And even if neither of them understood what love really was, he knew just from the tone in her voice that they were going to make it.

Tag list: @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione@mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione@mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@27bmm@craving-cas @spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove @spectaculicious@bambinovak@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010@mamaredd123@milkymilky-cocopuff @iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat@spntrista@d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage@evyiione@winchestersmut@purgatoan@mogaruke@therewillbeblood@megansescape@taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester@notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire@itseverythingilike@jesspfly@lovekittykat21@mysteriouslyme81@mrswhozeewhatsis@aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes@spnsasha@27bmm@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel@spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame@saxxxology@jensen-jarpad@keepcalmandcarryondean dancingpanda137

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fieldofrevenge · 7 years ago

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For the ask thing: answer them ALL. I dare you.

Who are you? Why? Nobody wants to know this much about me. BUT OKAYThe meaning behind my url: Sara Lance from Legends of Tomorrow is amazing. It's from an episode of LoTA picture of me: I will reblog all of the pictures of me on this account after posting thisHow many tattoos i have and what they are: none tattoosLast time i cried and why: Uhhhh I honestly don't remember? I try to immediately forget when I cry hahPiercings i have: noneFavorite band: This is a personal question. I like Nirvana? And Green Day. Also Bastille.Biggest turn offs: being an asshole (but like in a bad way)Top 5 (insert subject): I can't answer this without a subjectTattoos i want: Idk not really something I think about a lot.Biggest turn ons: sense of humor. IdkAge: 14 (but my birthdays in a few weeks)Ideas of a perfect date: I don't care what we do as long as it's with the right person, but if I had to say.... an amusement park I love rollercoastersLife goal: Idk to have fun??Piercings i want: noneRelationship status: singleFavorite movie: the Disney Channel original movie Lemonade Mouth.A fact about my life: I just took a history test and bsed my way to a good grade!Phobia: I'm not sureMiddle name: That's my mom's last name and it's not common so I'm not going to tell you.Height: 2.5 plastic swords tallAre you a virgin? YeaWhat’s your shoe size? I can't check my shoe size without looking weird rnWhat’s your sexual orientation? BiDo you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? nopeSomeone you miss: my friend Noah! And my friend Peter! And my friend Lily! AndWhat’s one thing you regret? Everything that happened in 6th gradeFirst celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: chrisFavorite ice cream? The most chocolate flavor there is. Or smoresOne insecurity: I will not give this information to the public where my enemies could find itWhat my last text message says: I'm assuming this is the last one I received? It's just the word 'yeah'Have you ever taken a picture naked? No answerHave you ever painted your room? NopeHave you ever kissed a member of the same sex? NopeHave you ever slept naked? When I was a kid yeahHave you ever danced in front of your mirror? A lotHave you ever had a crush? YesHave you ever been dumped? NopeHave you ever stole money from a friend? No, but I have stolen money from my mom!Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? NopeHave you ever been in a fist fight? NoHave you ever snuck out of your house? NnnopeHave you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Most likely!Have you ever been arrested? noHave you ever made out with a stranger? NoHave you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? ....what? Like, have I ever interacted with... what does this question mean???Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? Yeah, but like not to sneak out, just forgot to tell them hahHave you ever had a crush on your neighbor? One of them, yesHave you ever ditched school to do something more fun? NoHave you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? My cousin??Have you ever seen someone die? NoHave you ever been on a plane? YesHave you ever kissed a picture? No, but I have kissed several booksHave you ever slept in until 3? YeahHave you ever love someone or miss someone right now? I mean yeah?Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? YepHave you ever made a snow angel? YesHave you ever played dress up? Probably?Have you ever cheated while playing a game? YesHave you ever been lonely? Hasn't everyone?Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? In the nurses officeHave you ever been to a club? Yes?Have you ever felt an earthquake? NopeHave you ever touched a snake? I think soHave you ever ran a red light? NoHave you ever been suspended from school? NnopeHave you ever had detention? NoHave you ever been in a car accident? NoHave you ever hated the way you look? Not reallyHave you ever witnessed a crime? I saw someone get arrested onceHave you ever pole danced? NoHave you ever been lost? ... yes? Some of these questions suck hahHave you ever been to the opposite side of the country? NoHave you ever felt like dying? Who doesn't sometimes lolHave you ever cried yourself to sleep? These are personal but uh see above?Have you ever sang karaoke? Only by myself aloneHave you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yeah prollyHave you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? NoHave you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? NopeHave you ever kissed in the rain? NoHave you ever sang in the shower? Yeah a lotHave you ever made out in a park? NnoHave you ever dream that you married someone? NopeHave you ever glued your hand to something? Yeah I thinkHave you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? NoHave you ever ever gone to school partially naked? NO WHO DOES THATHave you ever been a cheerleader? NoHave you ever sat on a roof top? I think?Have you ever brush your teeth? What the fuck kinda question is this??? Of courseHave you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? NoHave you ever played chicken? NoHave you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? NoHave you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? No but a lady touched my hair at temple onceHave you ever broken a bone? Yeah my wristHave you ever been easily amused? These questions are... yes?Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Yeah?Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? NOHave you ever cheated on a test? .... yeahHave you ever forgotten someone’s name? YeahHave you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? .... what is this??Give us one thing about you that no one knows. Everyone knows everything about me. okay that's a wrap folks.

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religionsinyourlips-archive · 7 years ago

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apologies for being so cheesy/obnoxious, but I wanna put this out there.

okay, so I know she (being @taylorswift) will most likely never see this because I’m a small account that hasn’t doesn’t have any friends on here and hasn’t been around for long (my old Taylor account is 4 years old and I haven’t been able to sign into it for about 2 years, RIP), but I just wanted to share this after thinking long and hard about my life so far.

this is really long and I apologize, but I hope it’s worth reading. if not, I apologize.

also, trigger warnings for those who get triggered by mention of self harm, eating disorders, and suicide attempts.

my 21st birthday is a week from tomorrow and I realized while walking my dog earlier this evening that Taylor and her music have been in and such a big part of my life for 11 crazy years. like, I know quite a few of y’all are older than me, but I don’t think I ever really thought about how much of an impact she’s made on me and how I’ve acted about certain situations until now. I know I’m not anything special because so many people have gone through worse things than I have, but I just wanted to share my story. maybe it might help someone, I don’t know.

we’re gonna go through by how each record has impacted my life and helped me through certain shit.

HERE WE GO, Y’ALL.

anyways, Taylor’s music has almost constantly been in my life since Tim McGraw was released as a single. I heard that for the first time in 5th grade because my best friend at the time was (and still is) obsessed with country music. now, I know Taylor’s not really considered country anymore, but we’ve all heard the debut album, so we know why my best friend at the time (Emily) was obsessed with it. anyways, I wasn’t quite smart enough to truly appreciate Tim McGraw (I was literally nine years old) like I do now, so I just kinda listened to it and lived my life as best as I could.

things started to change, however, when Teardrops on My Guitar came out. that came out at the beginning of my 6th grade year and as soon as I heard it on the radio, I was hooked. like, 1500000% obsessed. I had this cheap flip phone at the time (yeah, I know, a ten-year old with a phone) and I used it to record that song whenever it came on the radio. since iPods weren’t super popular with the kiddos back then, I listened to it on literal repeat on my phone’s memos when I wasn’t at school or in church or sleeping. I was literally so obsessed. I didn’t really realize until now, but Teardrops on My Guitar really helped me get through this heartbreaking failed crush I had between 5th and 6th grade, so thanks for that Taylor. ANYWAYS. as her other singles from her debut album came out and were played on the radio (Our Song, Picture to Burn, Should’ve Said No), I became more and more obsessed. that was mainly because I didn’t have many true friends and was bullied quite a bit all throughout grade school, so I felt like someone who didn’t even know me by name was there for support.

again, ANYWAYS. after being content with being a Taylor Swift fan through that debut era, I moved from where I was born and raised (southwestern Illinois) to Missouri (the Kansas City area/the western side of the state) because of my dad’s job. I went from having a couple good friends and not feeling like I had to try too hard to fit in to having no friends and wanting so badly to fit in. well, in doing so, I went into that trademark emo phase and the friends I made at that time made me think Taylor Swift made the worst music ever. that didn’t last long, though, because my choir teacher in 7th grade had us sing Love Story right after Fearless was released, so I was back to being hooked. but this time around, I had to keep quiet in order to maintain my not super great but I thought it was better than what I had in Illinois reputation (LOL I’m sorry, I had to).some of hiding that part of my life (the happy part of my life) got me so down and upset that I started self harming. it was bad. like, really bad. I managed to keep it a secret, though. anyways. the debut album and Fearless helped me through some tough times in seventh grade, including my cat of my whole entire life at that point dying, starting to discover my sexual orientation, and my parents not living together for four or five months.

we’re doing this again, but ANYWAYS (it’s obnoxious, I know). after being in Kansas City for about eight months, my dad broke the news to us that we were moving across the state of Kansas and halfway through the state of Colorado. I was absolutely heartbroken because I had to start that process all over again and knew it was going to be hard on me. I don’t know why, but Fifteen, Fearless, and Change got me through a lot of that when I moved here. anyways. by the time I moved here and got settled, Speak Now had come out (that was the end of the first half of 8th grade). I was still kind of in my emo phase, but people were a lot nicer about Taylor Swift here than they were in Kansas City. I had kind of settled back down to being “normal” and Speak Now, again, helped with a lot. I started really dealing with depression and anxiety in eighth grade due to some bullying (again), so Long Live and Mean got me through that. did I mention that I was bullied into working on changing my slightly hick-ish accent in middle school? no? WELL IT HAPPENED. ANYWAYS! as eighth grade rolled into high school, my Speak Now obsession continued.

okay, now into high school. the best years of my life, but the worst years of my life. LET’S GET INTO IT. I was in marching band all four years of high school and when I first started, I met who I though was the love of my life. she (yes, I said she) was great and supported me and whoever I loved/whatever I was obsessed with, and she was a swiftie, so that was a plus. anyways, as the second half of my freshman year rolled around, my dad lost his job he’d had for a looooooong time (the one that moved us out to Colorado) and my depression got worse. my girlfriend tried to be there for me as much as she could and kept reminding me that Taylor was there, too, but it didn’t help much. I started self harming almost constantly and my multiple suicide attempts started. after freshman year was over and sophomore year began, my dad was still unemployed and I was still severely depressed. my relationship started growing into an emotionally abusive one and I thought my life was pretty much pointless until the Speak Now World Tour dates were released and I saw that Taylor was going to be in Denver three weeks after my fifteenth birthday! unfortunately, my family wasn’t able to afford any kind of tickets and all I got from the concert was a bunch of girls around my school bragging about it and wearing all the merchandise the next day. the next few months of my life were like that until Safe & Sound from The Hunger Games soundtrack was released. I bought that the day it came out because we had Christmas a day late and I got an iPod touch with an iTunes gift card, so of fucking course I would.

okay, let’s just move into the next era because I am going on and on and on here. so between the time Safe & Sound and Red were released, I had attempted suicide multiple times through extreme amounts of self harm and attempting to overdose, but clearly, none of them worked. I also marched in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade my sophomore year and tried killing myself and started starving myself after we got back for lord knows what reason. the only good thing about that trip was being in Time’s Square at the same time Taylor posted a picture of her in a taxi in Time’s Square. like, that’s it. anyways, the only thing that helped me through my sophomore year was the fact that I had Safe & Sound and The Hunger Games to make me feel like life was like, the least bit worth living.

ANYWAYS, I’m pretty sure it was my first week of my junior year, but Taylor had her livestream when she announced Red and that was the beginning of my life turning around. I was finally able to end my super emotionally abusive relationship with my ex girlfriend by playing We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together on Skype and then hanging up on her. thanks, Taylor, by the way! it made me feel so empowered and the countdown for the album gave me something to look forward to. I also remember coming home from school two days after my sixteenth birthday, watching Taylor sing Ronan, then hating my life. A N Y W A Y S. Red coming out was the best thing that ever happened to me, even though I couldn’t buy the physical copy until after school the day it came out. I did buy it on iTunes the night before and I’m pretty sure I posted it on Facebook, but you know, whatever. by the end of my junior year, I was doing a lot better in school than I had been doing my previous year and my mental health got quite a bit better. my last week of school, two of the local country radio stations (The Wolf and KYGO) started giving away tickets for the Red Tour concert in Denver, and after calling The Wolf THIRTEEN times on my cell phone on my last day of school, I won two tickets to see her (click this link to listen to it because my good friend recorded it and put it on SoundCloud). it was a definite turn around to my life. my ex, who was going with her friend, tried to get me to take her with me, but I took my best friend instead and texted her the lyrics to WANEGBT during WANEGBT because I was too savage for my own good. I also saw Mama Swift and cried, and Grant tried throwing me a guitar pick and it made it NOWHERE NEAR ME. but he tried. and it was great.

okay, senior year. sorry this is so long. I continued being obnoxiously obsessed with Red and the last two digits of my locker were 22 and the last number of my locker combo was 13, so I though the Taylor Swift gods were blessing me for sure. ANYWAYS. I graduated from high school, which is something I never imagined I would be alive to do, but I made it through because Taylor made me feel so empowered with songs like IKYWT and WANEGBT and kept me away from my toxic ass ex girlfriend. BUT I GRADUATED. AND IT WAS GREAT. I WAS AND AM STILL SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

I’m just gonna long story short the rest of this because this is going on way too damn long. 1989 was announced and Shake It Off was released on a day I worked a night shift the night before, so I was like, wiped the hell out and actually asleep, but I partied hardy as soon as I woke up and ended up meeting someone who changed my life immensely because of it. I almost dated her, but I screwed that up and honestly, it’s probably for the better. the 1989 world tour rolled around and I didn’t win/couldn’t afford to buy tickets, so I just sat at home and read about it. I lived through the drama and the music videos, which made me feel like I had something to live for (again, I know that’s probably stupid), but at that point, I needed anything I could grasp onto. then I started therapy and antidepressant meds and started dealing with some gender dysphoria, which Taylor’s presence helped me through, until August. then I stopped my medication voluntarily and my self harm got bad. that was during the drought. it was fun. it was hard to find things to be happy about.

okay, fast forward to this year because I need to finish this. Taylor was basically nowhere to be seen and my depression and anxiety had gotten so bad, I had to do something about it myself. I found the courage and strength to put myself in an intensive outpatient program at a local behavioral health facility and while Taylor’s sexual assault trial triggered some very upsetting PTSD and guilt/shame, I graduated from the program two weeks ago. then, shortly after, this new era started.

okay, to make a long story short, I just realized I’ve been able to stay alive during all of her eras and all of the drama she’s been attached to and if you would’ve asked me five years ago, I would’ve told you I wouldn’t have been alive to do that. I realized that I have survived crushes, heartbreaks, love, breakups, depression, anxiety, self harm, suicide attempts, loneliness, confusion, and pain with and mainly because of @taylorswift and I can’t begin to thank her enough for that.

again, I know she’ll probably never read this or see it on her dashboard or anything of that nature, but I just wanted to let everyone know that Taylor is not only a musical legend, but a lifesaver.

#taylor swift #fearless #speak now #red #1989 #reputation #swifie #swifties #my life story so far #sorry this was so obnoxious #I just wanted to put this out in the world #personal

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endevia · 6 years ago

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The Importance of SEL to Education Success

Life is much simpler when you — as a parent or teacher — can point to one solution for a problem, solve it, and everything is golden. Success in school was like that when grades were the barometer and studying harder was the tool. Now, we know academic achievement is much more complicated.

“Students are telling us there’s a big missing piece in their education” –John Bridgeland, CEO of Civic

Today’s educators realize learning has as much to do with academics as how students get along with themselves and others. This is called “Social Emotional Learning” or SEL. It’s akin to the importance of play in teaching preschool kids to socialize with others, develop tenacity, and learn respect for those around them. If you’re not convinced of the importance of SEL, here’s what students say:

“Students and young adults believe SEL schools would create a more positive social and learning environment” �� report by the Collaboration for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL)

A positive attitude about themselves and others is linked to not only academic success but correlated to lessening the negative impact of future-ending problems such as drug use. It should surprise no one that as of mid-2018, two states have passed SEL measures, sixteen SEL-related bills and resolutions have been introduced, and twenty-three states are working on SEL standards.

What is SEL

–Image credit: https://casel.org/

SEL — social emotional learning — is not something even considered the responsibility of schools until recently but now, with the logarithmic uptick in violent issues at schools not to mention neighborhoods, education professionals are realizing that managing emotions, staying positive despite challenges, and making good and healthy decisions is not intuitive to many students.

SEL, according to CASEL is defined this way:

Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.

Frameworks, a not-for-profit group whose mission is to teach youth to manage their emotions, develop healthy relationships, and make good decisions for academic, career and personal success, defines it as:

“Social and emotional learning (SEL) is a positive youth development framework that refers to the building of skills needed to recognize and manage emotions, develop care and concern for others, make responsible decisions, establish and maintain positive relationships, and handle interpersonal situations effectively. These capabilities are critical foundations for academic learning and for a person’s long-term personal and professional success.”

You notice in neither of these definitions is there anything about academics, playing sports, or studying hard. SEL revolves around managing the effect of emotions on lives — and that’s huge.

Why teach SEL in schools?

Learning to manage emotions is positively correlated to many of the predictors for a successful life — improved academic achievement, getting better jobs, suffering less criminal activity, and achieving more robust mental health. The real question is why has this become the responsibility of schools?

First, students spend a good portion of each day at school. If they model appropriate SEL in those 8-10 hours, it will carry over into all parts of their lives. It will become a habit — the normal way they act.

Second, SEL provides a foundation for safe and positive learning and enhances the students’ ability to succeed. If it defines the school environment, students will get much more out of their learning time.

Third, combining SEL skills with academic development creates high-quality learning experiences and environments that empower students to be more effective contributors in their classrooms today and in their workplaces and communities tomorrow.

Finally, if SEL is practiced at school, it’s a natural next step to make parents partners in this learning approach. Parents can model the kinds of skills, attitudes, and behaviors they want their kids to master, knowing that effort is support by the child’s teacher. And with home advocacy, SEL will work better, faster, and more effectively.

SEL exercises

Dovetail Learning has put together a selection they call Toolbox

to assist students in emotional coping. Here are a few of them, mixed with other suggested exercises from teachers who use SEL training in their classes:

breathing — exactly what it says: Use this natural process to calm yourself and check in on your wellness.

Four at the Door — once a week, Marcia Mihalovic greets a class of third-graders at St. Stanislaus Elementary School with “Four at the Door.” She looks students in the eye. She says their name. She shakes their hand, and she gives them a hug.

let it go — “Don’t stress the small stuff and it’s all small stuff,” according to one of the foremost experts in happiness and stress reduction, Dr. Richard Carlson.

listening — pay attention not just with your ears but with your eyes and your heart. Be aware of what’s going on around you.

please and thank you — remember these kind words that show respect for others even when you’re busy

decoding faces — have students look at pictures of emotional faces and see if they recognize what the person is feeling.

SEL Resources

There are a variety of popular SEL resources available to teachers as they turn toward an SEL-oriented program. Here are three to get you started:

Toolbox

by Dovetail Learning is a Kindergarten through 6th-grade SEL program that supports children in understanding and managing their emotional, social, and academic success.

Sunburst SafeSchools has three K-12 curricula focused on SEL — Mightifier, Q Wunder, and reThinkIt. Which is best for you will depend upon your students’ and your school’s needs.

Kiddom, an all-in-one school ecosystem to plan, assess, and analyze student learning, has long focused on the importance of teaching the whole child. As part of this approach, they integrate many SEL tools into their program and make a variety of SEL-related teacher tools available for free such as the SEL 101 and SEL rubric.

Vocabulary

When discussing SEL with colleagues, you’re bound to be confronted with vocabulary specific to this topic. Here are two common words you’ll hear and what they mean:

Whole Child Development — this learning approach ensures that all parts of a child are supported in learning — academic, physical, emotional — not just what goes into the brain, with the understanding that all of these work together to contribute to a student’s long-term success.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) — the student’s aptitude for skills related to communicating well and getting along with others. This is often equated with Emotional Quotient (EQ).

***

Theodore Roosevelt once said:

“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

That’s why — out of dozens of reasons for success — only one will be “How smart are you?” Doesn’t it make sense to teach those “other” skills to students?

For more on SEL, check out this infographic from Sunburst Safeschools:

— published first to TeachHUB

More on SEL

Empatico-Build Global Awareness in Students

New from Kiddom: SEL Rubrics

Beyond Digital Literacy: How EdTech Fosters Children’s Social-Emotional Development

The Importance of SEL to Education Success published first on https://seminarsacademy.tumblr.com/

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austentatious · 8 years ago

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Get to Know Tag

So I was invited to do this by @soundtracks2life

Name: Almeera but my closest friends call me Eshi. Sometimes, I think people don’t know my real name is Almeera. I’d like to be called Almeera more. Star Sign: Leo Gender: Female Height: 5′3″ (5′4″ on my good days.) Orientation: Heterosexual Favorite Color: Red Time Right Now: 9:03 PM. We just got home from a trip. Current Location: Home, Philippines. Average Hours Of Sleep: 6 hours. Last Thing I Googled: Snake exoskeleton. I’m a biologist. Lucky Number: I’d like to think it’s 18 or 8 but I’m not really lucky. Number Of Blankets I Sleep Under: When you live in the Philippines, one is too much but I sleep with one blanket even if it’s scorching just to keep the mosquitoes away. I am allergic to mosquito saliva. Favorite Fictional Character: Hermione or McGonagall from Harry Potter, that guy from Dune by Frank Herbert (I read it a long time ago), Prince Caspian from Narnia, Captain Wentworth from Jane Austen’s Persuasion, and probably many more but I am exhausted from our trip so I can’t think. Favorite Book: At the top of my head, I liked Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Prisoner of Azkaban, Persuasion by Jane Austen, Dune by Frank Herbert. Dream Job: Be a doctor and teacher and librarian and researcher and traveler. What I’m Wearing: I just had a bath and I’m wearing a top that’s too fancy to sleep in but oh well and some ratty old shorts. Random Fact: I double-knot my shoe laces. When Did You Create Your Blog?: When I was in high school, aka A LOOONG TIME AGO. Do You Have Other Blogs?: Yes, a private, password-protected blog where I write poems. Who Is Your Most Active Follower?: I don’t know. What Made You Get A Tumblr: One of my oldest friends told me to make one because it’s a cool site. Do You Get Asks On A Daily Basis: No. In a parallel universe, maybe. Why Did You Choose Your URL: I love Jane Austen and thought austentatious would be cool as a play on its homophone--ostentatious which was the deepest word I knew back in high school. I tried to be so complicated back then and I just stuck with it--call it branding.

Invade My Privacy Tag

1. Did you wake up cranky? When I haven’t gotten any sleep and someone switches on my light or makes loud sounds that woke me up from REM sleep. 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No. I’m turning 23 in a few months. That’ll be a huge age gap for me. I’d prefer dating a not-so older guy. 3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? I used to prefer boys as they are less drama but people are people. I don’t have a preference anymore. Just be a sensible person. 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? On occasion. Not all the time because I’d like to be invisible. 5. Can you commit to one person? Yes. The question is, could a person commit to me? 6. How do you look right now? Fresh, tanner, sleepy. 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? A mismatch of fancy top and ratty shorts. 8. How often do you listen to music? I used to listen to it everyday, whenever I’m not in class but these days, I seldom listen. 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? sweats. 10. Did you think your life will change dramatically before 2017? Yes. 2016 was the year I graduated, my Dad went to my graduation (this is ground-breaking because my parents aren’t together and he has a family and I haven’t seen him in 16 years). Also, I planned on going to medical school for sure in October 2016 (when I took the NMAT). That was the fiercest decision I had to make. 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? Anti-social is too extreme. I don’t socialize if I can avoid but I am not totally opposed to it either. I socialize when I HAVE to so I’d say I’m more of an asocial 12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I would never be the first to admit I like the person so if he tells me he likes someone else, I am safe from the embarrassment. I’ll probably act cool, shrug it off but deep inside I’ll be chiding myself for liking someone who can’t like me back. I’ll be able to move on pretty easily. I don’t create situations where I get invested too much. I am not comfortable about feelings and people. 13. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Every emotion except for anger. I get pissed off easily. I need to be kinder to people and myself but I am just so easily pissed off. 14. Can you drive a stick shift? I can’t drive and I don’t want to drive. I am not confident about my eyes’ capability to assess road situations which is why I have to be rich so I can hire myself a driver. 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Yes. I think they talk badly about me even before they do, even if they really don’t but I try not to be openly affected by it. 16. Are you going out of town soon? Just went out-of-town a while ago but I will be going out-of-town in a few days to get lab exams done for my health record. 17. When was the last time you cried? Last month while watching Good Doctors. 18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes. It’s odd. Very odd. I moved on. 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? I wanted to have gray or green eyes but it probably won’t work with my complexion. I have brown eyes and brown hair. It’s enviable in some places? 20. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Do the laundry because I haven’t washed the clothes I wore from two weeks ago. 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? That I didn’t get to swim in the beach as much as I’d like to. We were supposed to go to another beach but we got lost. I slept through the whole debacle but I’m not happy to wake up and realize we’re on our way home when I slept thinking I’d get to swim more. P.S. I can’t swim. I should say float and play on the water instead of swim. 22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? The last time I had a best friend was in fifth grade and all my friends were girls then. 23. Are you nice to everyone? I am not a nice-nice person but I try to nice. I’m more civil, actually. I am not easy to get-to-know in person. I am shy and awkward at first and I don’t like being totally nice because I think I’ll be a push-over then. I don’t like being vulnerable. 24. What are you sitting on right now? Wooden chair. 25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course. I may not be nice but I still afford people respect. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? What does it mean to want someone? 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My brother. I showed him Return of the Superman videos. 28. Do you get a lot of colds? Nope but on the off-chance that I get one, it’s pretty bad. 29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? No. 30. Does anyone hate you? Probably. I’m not that likable. I believe people tolerate me. Maybe I should trust my friends more but I don’t even like myself sometimes so I can’t imagine people liking me. I plan to work on that. 31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?No. 32. Do you like watching scary movies? YES. 33. Are you a jealous person? For major reasons like this person is getting their shit together and I hope I do too, or this person seemingly gets to have it easy but I try to think about that ‘seemingly.’ Maybe something’s off in their life too that I just don’t know about and maybe they also have something to envy although it may not be obvious to me. 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 6th grade. Please. Let me just redo that year so I don’t reminisce and regret and cringe at old self. 35. Did you have a dream last night? I slept this morning. I probably had a dream but I forgot it now. I hopped through numerous islands today and that was exciting!!! 36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? No. 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? LOL, I’ll still be in school. I can’t see myself getting married. I haven’t even dated anyone legitimately. It’s hard to daydream such things when I want to focus on getting my shit together. 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don’t think so. My gap year has been people-less. I hung out with my college friends and went to trips with my family. Haven’t met anyone substantially new and interesting. 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? No. 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Exhausting. 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? I can think back to the past five years and still be able to say no. A decade even. 42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Nope. For one, I was in school and struggling back then. I took some shitty profs for not-shitty classes. I got grades below average despite trying to work hard. I was set on going to graduate school then. 43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Going on that road trip. 44. What’s the best part about school? Learning, not necessarily inside the classroom. I was an active org member and I was so inspired everyday that I work with different people of different ages and motivations. 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yep. 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? We used to. I remember passing notes during Genetics. Whenever we have something to react to that is not about the lecture. In Cell Mol too! There was an okra clipart in our prof’s powerpoint presentation and I have no idea if that was a trick to see who’s listening but it was super odd and funny I just had to ask my seatmates if they saw. 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yes. I write in my head about imagined scenarios. 48. Were you single over the last summer? Yes. When was I not? 49. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Sleeping. 50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? I think I texted my Mom? She’s beautiful.

EDIT: I was supposed to tag someone. Haha. I tag @feel-o-sophy, @thesociallyawkwardprincess, and @ergo-i-blog

#eshi

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suckitsurveys · 8 years ago

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When’s the last time you went shopping? Earlier today at Wal Mart. I got two sets of plastic drawers and a little project for our Bob’s Burger’s themed kitchen.

How many Sweet 16’s have you been to? Maybe one?

Pen or pencil? Pen usually.

What’s your favorite beverage? Barq’s root beer.

Have you ever played The Sims? Nope.

Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nope.

Are you more artsy or athletic? Definitely artsy.

Are any of your friends vegetarians? Yeah. My best friend is a vegan.

Can you run a mile in under 7 minutes? Not even close.

Do you know how to play any instruments? Nope.

What’s your favorite shampoo/conditioner? I don’t have one.

Are you a fan of the Grand Theft Auto series? Not really. Mark’s played the newest one and I’ve been kinda interested in it but not enough to play. Danny Tamberelli (Little Pete)’s voice is in it so that’s kinda cool.

Do you like the beach? I do!! Very much so.

Do you have your license? I do.

Where’s your cell phone right now? Right next to me on the side table

What was your best subject in school? Sociology.

And your worst? Chemistry.

Would you ever have plastic surgery? If I needed to sure.

Did you hate the book “The Lord of the Flies”? I did.

Do you consider yourself lazy? Yuuuup.

Do you or did you have a curfew at one point? When I was like 9 to 13 I had to be inside when the street lights came on. After that I didn’t really go out enough to have a set curfew.

Do you know what BMI stands for? Body mass index.

Is there someone on your mind right now? Nah.

What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween and Christmas.

How many times have you felt betrayed? I’m not sure.

What’s your relationship status? Engaged.

Do you peel the wrappers off of plastic bottles? Sometimes.

Have you ever sleep walked? Not that I’m aware of.

How about sleep talked? Mark has said I do sometimes.

Are you watching TV right now? Family Feud is on but I’m not really paying attention to it.

Do you have any siblings? I have an older sister.

Have you ever earned a Varsity letter? Nope.

Do you enjoy theater productions? I do.

Are you shy or outgoing? A little of both.

How much sleep do you get on average? About 6 on a week night.

Have you ever moved? Once when I was 4 into my childhood home, and once into the apartment we are in now.

What’s your favorite type of food? Type? Seafood.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 12.

Can you roll your ‘R’s? Nope.

Have you ever been drunk? Yes.

Are you homophobic? Of course not.

Jump in leaves or jump in the ocean? Either sounds fun.

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses.

Where was your first job? Java Thai, a small Thai restaurant and coffee shop near my house.

Are you a MAC or a PC? PC.

Would you rather be weak and skinny or strong and built? Weak and skinny.

Are you wearing shoes right now? Nope.

Have you ever straightened your hair? Not by myself no. I’ve had it straightened.

When’s the last time you spoke to your best friend? I texted Lydia earlier today.

Do you like Vitamin Water? No. I’m not into flavored water.

Have you ever played Super Smash Brothers? My all time favorite.

How about The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time? Nope.

Are you the oldest child? I am not.

Are you a fan of Twilight? Nope.

Do you like the Jonas Brothers? Meh.

Did you ever collect Beanie Babies as a child? I did! I still have the collection. My dad built these casings over the doors to the bathroom and bedrooms on the second floor of the house and they work really well as shelves, so the casings that are above the bathroom and my childhood bedroom house the Beanie Babies.

Do you remember your second grade teacher’s name? Mrs. Yamanaka, or something like that.

Would you rather be a lead singer or play an instrument in a band? Instrument.

How many songs do you have in your music library? I don’t know how to check that in Spotify.

What do you like on your sundaes? I don’t really eat them but caramel and nuts.

Have you been blessed with the ability to cook and/or bake? Eh, it’s not that difficult.

Have you done anything productive today? Yes. I worked and then went shopping for some things for the apartment.

How old will you be in 3 years? 30.

Have you ever bought anything on eBay? Nope.

How about sold anything? No.

Have you ever watched the show Jackass? Yes. I’ve seen the movie too.

Share one of your hidden talents with us. It’s so hidden I don’t even know what it is.

Have you gained more than 5 lbs within the past year? I don’t know for sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

Do you want kids at some point? Never ever ever.

Pick a crazy color you wouldn’t mind putting in your hair. It’s already blue and green. I don’t think it’s been like actually yellow or orange so maybe that?

Are you lactose intolerant? Nope.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder? Not professionally.

Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage? No.

Is there any jewelry you wear almost all of the time? Yes, my engagement ring and earrings.

How do you feel about PDA? A little is fine.

What time did you go to bed last night? I think around 11.

Have you ever been in a hot tub? Yes.

Are you confident in yourself? Ha. Some days are better than others, I guess.

How old is your current cell phone? About two years old.

What is your sexual orientation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Not to tan, but in a salon that also had tanning beds.

Are you on a laptop right now? I am.

Can you speak in another language? Un poco habla espanol. Or something.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and actually meant it? Lots of times.

What’s your favorite zoo animal? PANDAS but the only place I see them is in Memphis.

How is your hair currently styled? It’s down.

How long are your showers (on average)? 15 minutes.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Work. Then maybe going to the gym.

Are you multitasking at the moment? I mean, the TV is on but that doesn’t require much focus.

East or West? In what context?

Do you prefer iced coffee or hot coffee? Iced.

What time did you wake up today? 6 ish.

Would you rather be taller or shorter than your current height? I’m okay.

What was the last ‘family gathering’ you attended? Hmm. Christmas eve at my house.

Are you wearing perfume right now? Nah.

What did you do last night? Made dinner and just hung out.

What’s worse: working in fast food or retail? I wouldn’t know.

Do you have any college or future plans? I mean, future plans, sure.

What was the last consumed alcoholic beverage? Mimosas on Saturday afternoon.

Are you wearing socks right now? Nope.

Is your most recent ex seeing someone right now? I have absolutely no idea.

What’s your favorite physical feature? My hair or my legs.

Shopping: love it or hate it? Depends.

Lose weight or gain it? Lose, for the love of godddddddddddddddddd.

Would you ever go vegetarian or vegan? No thank you.

Do you need to do laundry? Mark just did some.

Do you believe that high school years are the best years of your life? Nope.

How old do you want to be when you get married? I'm getting married this year so 27.

Beer or wine? Wine.

What are you allergic to? Nothing.

Where do you get most of your groceries from? Jewel. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Dinner.

Have you ever gone on a movie date? Yeah.

Do you look like your parents? I look like my dad and a little bit like my mom with certain expressions.

Where did you make your last purchase from? Lucky Grill with Liz for dinner.

Have you ever bought clothing online? Yeah.

Did you exercise today? I took a walk. I guess that counts.

Are you warm or cold? A little cold.

Showers or baths? Both.

Do you wear any perfumes/colognes/body sprays? Yeah, I wear body sprays because I sweat so much and it makes me stinky so the sprays make me feel fresh.

What color dominates your wardrobe? Black and blue.

Are you in any sort of pain right now? My feet a little bit. This survey is so long.

Soda or juice? Soda.

Give a shoutout to someone special. Baby girl you are my world.

Spring or fall? Fall.

Are you hungry right now? Nope.

Gum or mints? Mints.

What size shoes do you wear? 8 ish.

Do you curse a lot? Probably too much.

Do you like cats? I love kitties SO much.

What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Probably something Mark said.

Is there a TV in the room you’re in? Yup.

Who did you last attend a concert with? My friend Rachel and Mark’s old neighbors who are now her neighbors. Rachel’s boyfriend is in a band and they came to see him in Chicago so I met them there.

Is there carpet on the floor of the room you’re in? Mhmm.

Do you sit on your feet and let them fall asleep? Way too often, yeah.

Are you taking any trips soon? Maybe. Mark and I are getting married in July and then that night we are either going to Starved Rock or this hotel we went to for our 6th month anniversary.

Swim in the ocean, or swim in a pool? Either.

Are you body conscious? I mean, yeah?

Do you eat meat? Mhmm.

Describe your position right now. I can’t really haha.

Are you in your own room? I’m in the living room. But I’m gunna go to bed so I’m gunna finish this tomorrow and probably in a different post.

Have you ever received nude pictures from someone? -

Do you support animal rights? -

When’s the last time you ate a marshmallow? -

Do you typically skip breakfast? -

How many relationships have you been involved in this year? -

Quick! Think of something yellow. -

Is Perez Hilton an asshole? -

Are you signed into Facebook right now? -

Admit it: you had a Neopets account. -

Is there a pet in the room with you right now? -

How’s the weather? -

Have you gone out to dinner in the past week? -

When’s the last time you stepped on a scale? -

Vodka or rum? -

Have you ever given yourself a french manicure? -

What’s your most complimented feature? -

How many pillows do you like to sleep with? -

Are you a healthy eater? -

Waffles or pancakes? -

Name a food that doesn’t sit well in your stomach. -

Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? -

What have you done so far today? -

Garlic knots or garlic bread? -

What messenger services do you own? (AIM, MSN, Yahoo…. etc.) -

Are you signed into any of those accounts right now? -

Name someone you know who has dyed their hair. -

How weight conscious are you? -

Have you ever shot a gun? -

Do you like the smell of Sharpie markers? -

What’s your favorite eye color? -

Rent a movie or go see one in theaters? -

Is there anyone else with you right now? -

Do you recycle? -

Have you ever been accused of cheating? -

How about having an eating disorder? -

Would you ever go on a birth control pill? -

Do you know how to do your own laundry? -

Uggs or crocs? -

Have you ever taken a train? -

How about a subway? -

What’s the capital of Florida? -

Do you know anyone outside of your country? -

What do you eat most frequently? -

What’s one sport you could never play? -

What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? -

What’s your heritage? -

Are you an open book? -

Are you sick often? -

Is being thin really all that great? -

Favorite year in high school? -

Have you ever been to a night club? -

Are you at home right now? -

Does any accent annoy you? -

How about turn you on? -

What’s worse: Crocs or Uggs? -

How was school today? -

What phone do you have? -

What time does your school start? –

What phone would you LOVE to have? -

How many siblings do you have? Are you close? -

Do you still tell your mom everything? -

#surveys #unfinished

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whereintheworldisclairerans-blog · 7 years ago

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A month in Madrid!

Oh man you guys. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve written anything! I can hardly believe that it’s only been a month since I’ve been in Madrid on my own - SO MUCH HAS BEEN HAPPENING! I’m not going to give you all the details because I would be typing until the end of time and I do kind of have a life, but here’s a little recap of what I’ve been up to!

Not even a full week after Jordan went home, I found myself at the airport again, this time headed to Sweden to see Hanna! I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get to see her again after a mere three months after our big American road trip, instead of our typical 16th month stints. A short 4 hour flight took me from Madrid to Gothenburg and she surprised me at the airport! We took the bus into the city together, got lunch at my all time favorite restaurant Vapianos (See my post from the UK 2 years ago when they gave me an entire block of parmesan cheese in my pasta) and then hung out in her gorgeous apartment. We went to a fun Spanish language exchange that night and I got to meet a few of the friends she’s made in her masters program! The next day we tried to go to the archipelago.... but we are very special people and didn’t get off the boat ahahahaha. OOPS. We took a lovely ferry tour instead and then got some hot coco and pastries to eat along the dock before getting caught in a massive rain storm and getting soaked to our very cores. That night I went out with her and a bunch of other students in her program and they showed me a night out on the town in Gothenburg that was super fun! I wasn’t ready to head back to Madrid, but I left knowing that we would be seeing each other again very very soon.

I still had another two weeks to kill in Madrid before I started work, so I spent my days sleeping, working out, furnishing my apartment and getting to know the city a little better. I was walking a fine line between not having any income and not wanting to stay home by myself all day - so I did quite a lot of window shopping, sightseeing by foot and making mental notes of all the places I wanted to check out once I started getting paid. I also reached out to friends of friends that live in the city and met two of my now closest Madrid pals, Dylan and Carmi. It’s amazing how lucky I was to meet people that I liked so much so early on!

I still had a few days left on my Eurail pass and credit with AirBnb, so I decided to take advantage of cheap travel and went to San Sebastian during my last week before work. BEST. DECISION. EVER. I absolutely loved it there. San Sebastian is in the Basque Country in the very north of Spain, and as such is incredibly lush and green. It’s normally very rainy there, but the two days that I was there, the sun was out in full force. The city is nestled between the beach and the mountains and is famous for it’s amazing cuisine. The ocean, the mountains, and food? What more could a girl ask for? I spent my time alternating back and forth between lying on the beach, wandering through the old city, eating, and climbing up into the mountains to check out the amazing views. I don’t know if I have ever loved a place so much. I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off of my face the entire time I was there and I very very strongly considered purposefully missing my train to go back to Madrid. Unfortunately, I am responsible person (thanks mom) and I did get back on the train to good old Madrid. I did however, look at apartments there for next year...... so prepare yourselves that I might be there instead of Denver next year. Ooops.

Anyways, I hardly had time to unpack from San Sebastian before I had to head out again for my “staycation” in Madrid. The company that I am doing this program through, CIEE, had paid for us to stay in a hotel during orientation and I am not one to turn down free accommodation (aka the free food that comes with it ahahah). Turns out it was kind of a waste because the orientation was not super useful and I had to get up ridiculously early in order to enjoy the free breakfast. So I left a day early and headed back to sleep in my very own bed until noon. Ahhh how I miss those days.

The following day, I started work! It was a bit of a slow start because I don’t work on Mondays and I only work half days on Tuesdays, but I was grateful for the slow introduction given my very limited teaching experience. For those of you who don’t know, I am working as a language and culture assistant in a bilingual primary school called Placido Domingo. It’s a MASSIVE school, with 600+ students, 50+ teachers, and 4 other LAs. The program allows us to work 16 hours a week, assisting the teachers with English instruction and sharing our cultural insights. I am mainly working with 5th and 6th graders, which is amazing because they have the highest levels of English and can pretty much understand me fluently. They can’t speak fluently, but they can definitely communicate extremely well and so so much better than I had expected. I’m not allowed to speak to them in Spanish, so I had been a little bit worried about how much time I would have to spend explaining things. Turns out, very little time at all! They know that I speak Spanish so they can ask me how to say things and I can help them translate when need be. My main role is to work with them in their English, social science, and natural science classes (all the classes they have instruction in English), but I also help out with PE for 1st and 3rd graders (which is lots of fun because I get to spend my Wednesdays running around with little kids and blowing off steam). I love the kids so far, and I also really love the other teachers! We get to have a coffee break for half an hour every morning, where breakfast and coffee is provided and I can get to know the other teachers and my fellow LAs a little bit better. I am also working as a private tutor after school for a few families, where I am helping the kids have a little bit more time to practice their English and to prepare for these massive exams that they have to take in 3rd and 6th grade. It’s a bit daunting because I am the one in charge of putting together the materials and preparing an hour or an hour and a half worth of material for lessons, but it’s excellent experience. (And excellent money!) As such, my schedule is pretty packed right now- for those of you who would like to know where I am at any given moment in the day, it goes as follows:

Monday: (Free most of the day) - 18:30-20:00 Private Lesson

Tuesday: 9:00-11:45 School, 16:30-19:15 Private Lessons

Wednesday: 9:45-16:00 School, 17:00-20:00 Private Lessons

Thursday: 9:00-16:00 School, 18:30-20:00 Private Lessons

Friday: 9:00-16:00 School, FREE FOR THE WEEKEND!

Luckily I get a super long lunch hour at school and dinner isn’t normally until 20:30-21:00 anyways. Next week will be my first full week of this schedule though, so we’ll see if I make it through. I got super super super lucky this past week because it was a national holiday on Thursday, so I got a long weekend just in time for Melanie and Anthony to come down to visit for their honeymoon! I was able to pick them up at the airport Monday, show them around my neighborhood and see the main sights before my lesson in the evening, Tuesday they slept while I went to work, and during my break we went for a picnic in Retiro and then while I taught my lessons they went to the Prado! On Wednesday they spent the days being tourists while I worked, and then we had all day Thursday to hang out together! We missed the parade but they got to meet (or catch up with in Mel and Carmis case) my new friends! I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to them on Friday, but they were off to Italy and I was off to bed! Being a tour guide is tiring y’all.

And that pretty much brings us to today! I went out this weekend a bit and was a grown up and did laundry and grocery shopping and all that jazz. Now I’m headed to picnic in the park with a friend and will spend my day tomorrow running errands and preparing all of my lessons for the week. Hope all is well with you all! More soon, I promise! xx

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