#bts hanahaki au

[justimajin]

The Language of Flowers

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst

↳ 9.5k / Hanahaki AU

⇨ Hanahaki (pre-existing concept): a fictional disease in which an individual will cough up flowers after experiencing unrequited love.

Warnings: heavy angst, discussions of illness/surgery, implied smut (on the explicit end)

Love is funny. 

It blossoms unexpectedly, spontaneously conjuring up within seconds. A spur of the moment, which draws in budding affection. Love at first sight, that flourishes into sparks of tender electricity. Or simply an unexpected encounter, getting spun into something more meaningful. 

It develops, it grows. It becomes so much more as the handles of time spiral, adoration and devotion thrown into the mix and creating everlasting bliss. 

Until of course, it becomes long term, its longevity and commitment spanning an entire lifetime.

You glance around, pupils revolving around the blooming garden. There are long tables lined into rows, draped with lilac silk material and decorated with bright yellow flowers. Amongst them, an array of individuals are seated, chattering with one another. 

You find her closer to the fencing, where fairy lights are looped and a giant white board stands, the word ‘Engaged’ written in bold cursive purple. 

“Aera.” She turns around, dressed in a short white lace dress with a small tiara resting on her black hair, making her appear like a princess. Her eyes are wide, having been in mid-conversation before she heard your voice call out to her.

Her lips tug into a huge smile upon seeing your tender look, moving forward to envelop you into a hug. “Y/N!” 

You hug her back, “Thank you so much for coming. It wouldn’t have been possible without you.” 

“Don’t say that.” You sheepishly chuckle, but she presses on. 

“Oh, come on, you’re the one that introduced me to him.” 

You dismiss her, “I just introduced you two, you were the one to take it a step further.” 

Taking a step back, you gesture to the entire display of the white board and a bubbly laugh emerges from her. 

“Let me at least give you some credit.” 

“Fine, maybe I helped a little.” You retort and she grins at your acceptance. 

A low voice cuts through your conversation. 

“I moved the balloons like you wanted, the decorator said–”

A young man appearing to be within his twenties emerges, donning a white dress shirt with a black tie and pants. His dark hair is styled and parted back, brows furrowed and doe eyes swirling with focus. 

It doesn’t take you a second later to whisper his name. 

“Jungkook?” 

He halts his steps, frozen by the sound of his name. Head snapping up, recognition flows through his orbs. 

Within a heartbeat, he shutters out. “Y-Y/N?” 

Aera darts her eyes between both of you, taken aback with the familiarity with a frown.

“Do the two of you know each other?” 

“Ah– yes,” You quickly clarify, “We work together.”

“Yeah, we do.” He replies, scratching the back of his neck. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here…” 

“Well, I am friends with the bride.” You chuckle.

Aera pitches in, placing a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “And she introduced me to Sunoo, Kookie!” 

He stiffens. “I see…”

“How do the two of you know each other?” You ponder, surprised by their proximity. If anything, you at least knew that Jungkook was greatly distant at work, never really going out of his way to speak to anyone. 

Aera warmly smiles, looping her arm around Jungkook’s, “Let me reintroduce you to the Jeon Jungkook,” She gazes at him with tender eyes, “My childhood friend and the person dearest to my heart…“ 

Pausing, she adds in, “–after Sunoo, of course.” 

You nod understandably, but Jungkook lets out a low cough. 

“I-I should go,” He brings up, “See if the decorator needs any more help.” 

You watch as he loops out of her arm, swiftly turning around without another word. 

A pout surfaces on Aera’s lips, like she wanted him to stay longer with you. 

But then she turns and catches your intrigued gaze, orbs brightening up in an instant. She dips into conversation once more as if he never left, occupied with showcasing the giant ring that now sits on her third finger. 

Yet if you had been paying enough attention, you would have noticed the flicker of dread in Jungkook’s eyes. 

***

As you attempt to catch up with Aera, it’s not long before she’s being whisked away by her husband-to-be, who you warmly greet with a smile. 

Being left alone, you decide to head over to one of the side tables, setting down the gift you had bought for them before filtering through all the guests to find your seat. 

Locating an empty one on the same table Aera and Sunoo would be at, you sit down and take a napkin, carefully placing it down onto your lap. 

From the corner of your eye, you catch sight of Jungkook. He glances around, doe eyes frantic and lips pursed. He awkwardly lingers for a moment – like he was debating on being there, unsure of where to look or where to go. 

It’s surprising to you, considering only moments ago he was effortlessly navigating himself to the decorator’s instructions.

You hesitate for a moment, knowing the two of you aren’t particularly close. However, as his confusion spins by the minute, you ultimately decide it wouldn’t be so bad and give in. 

“Jungkook!” You call out, watching his train of vision fall onto you. Taking out a chair next to you, your hand waves over with a warm smile. 

Jungkook glances around one more time, before walking over with his head ducked down. 

Instead of taking the one beside you, he takes the one on the opposite side – the one that is furthest away from Aera. 

You raise a brow, wondering why he didn’t want to sit closer to the bride and of course, his childhood friend, but you freeze when your orbs land on his appearance.

His eyes are glossed over, tinged with red. They almost seem hollow, dark circles collecting underneath them and his shoulders are caved in. 

“Are–…” You quickly glance around, words dropping into a whisper before leaning in, “Are you okay?”

Jungkook’s pupils snap back into life and he furiously nods, shifting uncomfortably away from you.

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay.” He sniffles, voice coming out hoarse. His field of vision lands on the decorations upon the table, features straining with dismay, “I’m just allergic to the flowers.” 

Your own eyes follow his line of sight, falling onto the beautiful, bright yellow petals. In fact, they’re littered everywhere – from the long tables lined up, to the blooming garden, to even attached to the white board that sits in the front. 

“Tulips,” You remark, “Aera’s–” 

“Favorite flower.” He mumbles, pupils focused down on his fidgeting hands and not bothering to take a glance at them. 

An involuntary harsh cough escapes his throat.

You lean over, grabbing a jug full of water and a glass, filling it up. Tapping him on the shoulder, he looks up, fatigue radiating deep within his irises before they morph into surprise. 

He takes the glass hesitantly, muttering a small thank you before you turn your attention back to the front, watching all the guests take their places as the food gets served.

Save for the few occasional glances stemming from concern, you and Jungkook don’t say another word to each other for the rest of the duration.

***

The evening spins away – dinner is all served and more guests pool in. You occasionally smile, greeting new people and munching down on the contents placed in front of you. 

Amongst all this, Aera is attached to Sunoo, a tender smile on her features as they deeply gaze into each other’s eyes and beam with so much sweet affection. 

You grin when she calls for you to take a picture with the two to them, instantly leaving your table and trudging over. Looping your arm with Aera and standing opposite to Sunoo, all three of you smile as the photographer’s flash goes off. 

“You two look really good together.” You comment and Aera giggles, eyes crinkling in the direction of her to-be-husband. 

She leans closer to him, brushing his lips against hers for a kiss. Sunoo follows suit, clasping onto her hands. 

They radiate the to-be-wed glow, encased in their own bubble of infectious love and happiness. It’s joyous for anyone to watch, to see two people be so utterly and completely in love with each other.

At least, that’s what you think.

As you turn to greet another one of Aera’s friends, you catch a flash of movement from the corner of your eyes.

You blink, but then there’s a tap against your shoulder. 

“Y/N,” Aera asks, her head surveying around, “Do you know where Jungkook is?” 

You swivel, mimicking her puzzlement. “I-I’m not sure…” 

“That’s too bad, I wanted to take a picture with him.” Aera remarks and a frown lines your lips. You had just seen Jungkook sitting by the table by himself moments ago, but now he’s up and disappeared, just when the photographer had started taking photos.

You sigh, not understanding his train of thought. 

Turning to Aera, you give her a quick reassured smile. “Focus on Sunoo, I’ll go find him for you.” 

She breaks into a huge relieved grin and nods, returning to her husband’s side. 

Spinning around, you walk in the opposite direction. 

Your head darts back and forth. 

You had entered into the side building, the one adjacent to the garden where the engagement party was being held. It’s empty save for the occasional workers or bystanders you pass, either trying to help set up or busy conversing with one another. However, you don’t find the head of dark hair and pair of doe eyes you’re trying to locate, simply left mulling if he had truly decided to leave. 

That is, until there’s a black tie resting near the soles of your feet. 

You pick it up in suspicion, instantly recognizing it as the same one Jungkook had donned when you had met him prior in the evening.

Peering around while gripping the tie, you wonder why it was so clumsily thrown onto the ground, as if he didn’t care about where it ended up–

The sound of retching startles you. 

You glance around, wondering if you had imagined it. But then you hear it – a low choked sob, and your feet are gyrating, ears keenly picking up on the sound.

Your feet falter for a moment, having stopped right in front of the men’s bathroom. 

Biting down your bottom lip, you cautiously push against the door, darting your pupils around. 

It's completely empty, save for one stall in the far corner.

Your heels click against the ground, turning to face it. Noticing it slightly open, you raise your hand, preparing to knock and ask him if he was okay, if he has perhaps consumed too much alcohol than expected, or if he needed anything – infinite questions ready to tumble out of your lips.

But that’s when you feel a slight flutter against your foot. 

Peering down curiously, you breath hitches and you nearly stumble back. 

For there’s a fragrant and beautiful, bright yellow petal there. 

Hand quivering, you lightly push against the door. 

It opens, and your mouth falls agape at the sight. 

Jungkook is on his knees, hunched over the toilet, completely surrounded by yellow flowers. His eyes are squeezed shut, shudders running through his body and tears pooling into his eyes. Despite being very tall, his frame looks small and cramped, sweat clinging to his temples. 

You thought it was all fake, a disease so rare that it could be considered a myth. But the flowers spilling out from his coughing lips is enough to reel you back into reality, cementing that it was all true – all the puzzling pieces of information stemming from the rumors, all the hushed whispers of unrequited love. 

You were wrong, so utterly wrong. 

Your hands cover your mouth, voice only managing to come out in a shakingly whisper. 

“O-Oh my god….” 

Jungkook heaves as the last flower slips out, finally noticing your presence as his eyes snap back. 

Your widened ones make contact with his half-lidded orbs, which expand into complete horror. 

***

You don’t remember how long it took – how long you merely stood there, glancing at his horror stricken irises with a mix of terror and confusion in your own. You had watched as his eyes diverted away, a deep flush coating his skin as he had leaned back, gripping the edge of the wall for dear support. 

“Tulips.” You had murmured, “Aera’s–”

“Favorite flower.” He croaks, a harsh rasp to his voice. His quivering hands reach out, attempting to scoop up the remaining flowers on the ground. 

His pupils widened when your shaking ones reached out as well, gaze concentrated as you discard them into the toilet can. But he continues, ensuring each and every single petal had been collected before rising to his feet, wobbling a bit as he turns to flush the contents away for good. 

You had quietly trailed out of the bathroom, walking behind his light footsteps.

A moment of silence overtakes you as you reach the opposite side of the building, far from where there are guests celebrating the new engagement. The fresh breeze weaves through your hair, nipping at your skin and offering a change of atmosphere. 

Jungkook seems to like it as well, a content sigh leaving him as opposed to the profuse spilling of flowers inside a cramped stall he was experiencing just moments ago. 

A thousand questions are ready to burst out from you, but amongst them is one that already has an answer.

“I-Is it…” You warily gaze at him, “...Aera?”

Jungkook visibly gulps, fear echoing deep in his doe irises. You’re startled when he snatches onto your wrist, grip tightening as his eyes desperately scan your expression. 

“Please…” He inhales, “Please don’t tell her...” 

You slowly nod, gaze still trained on him as his shoulders slump down, relief flooding his body. 

Your voice drops into a whisper, “H-How long has this been going on…?” 

Jungkook’s lip thin out, and his gaze is on the ground. 

Sucking in a breath, he reveals the answer that has a harsh gasp escaping you. 

“A year.” 

“A year?!” You sharply repeat, “Jungkook, how are you still alive?” 

Your coworker had been quietly suffering the effects for a whole entire year, delving within his own misery and attempting to live a normal life as the disease ate away at him. 

He shakes his head, like he didn’t want your thoughts invading his mind, “Why haven’t you just gotten the surgery?”

“I-I can’t…” He whispers, brows furrowing. 

“Why not?” You press forward, concern filling you to the brim, “The rumors say that hanahaki consumes the individual’s lungs within a year, leading their entire system to shut down–”

“Because I can’t, Y/N.” His words are louder and firmer, but there’s guilt swimming in his orbs. “I…I don’t want to forget her.” 

Your lips pursue, knowing what the rumors had to say about the surgery. That along with all the flowers, each and every memory is taken, ripped out of the patient’s mind until they have no more recollection of the feelings, the love they had once felt for their person.

Which means Jungkook’s only other alternative would be for Aera to reciprocate his feelings. 

Your stomach churns, guilt radiating out from you. 

“She can’t love you back…” You whisper and Jungkook’s eyes snap up, brimming with despair. 

“She’s engaged now, and I…I can't take it all away from her,” He hurriedly explains, voice shrinking down into an anguished whisper, “Not when I love her so much...” 

“But…are you just going to let yourself die?” 

He has no other option. The fonder his heart grows, so do the petals, spreading out within his airway until his breathing is completely constricted. Without the removal surgery or reciprocated feelings, he’s caged – left to fight the disease on his own until he ultimately succumbs to it, drawing out his last breath in the name of the same love.

Jungkook is silent, your words lingering within the empty space between you. 

He continues to remain silent, but then his features twist and something snaps. 

His eyes are glossed over, shoulders hunched as he chokes out a sob. 

You’re startled, but you realize it then and there. 

He knows he’s resigned to his fate and at this point, all he can do is receive the illness that’s marred his pathway with flowers.

You’re not very close to Jungkook, but it doesn’t hold you back from outstretching your arms, hands wrapping around his torso as the tears stream down his eyes, form violently trembling.

Aera’s eyes had sparked up when you returned with Jungkook following suit. You watch with dismay as he places a hand on her shoulder, a weak smile on his lips. Jungkook’s condition is obvious, there’s dark circles underneath his eyes, his skin pale and fatigue running deep in his shoulders. But he continues to pose for the photo, not ignoring Aera’s plea to take more with her husband.

Sunoo stands on the other side of them, sharing Aera’s tender smile when she glances at him. Jungkook’s lip twitches, smile slightly faltering. 

As the evening draws to an end, your gaze is attached to Jungkook’s every movement, watching him turn on his heels and begin to take the various decorations down. All as Aera and Sunoo have their arms wrapped around each other, fondly staring down at the rings on their hands.

A bitter taste lingers on your lips.

It stays for a while – even as you���re knocking on Jungkook’s door the next day. 

To be honest, you’re not sure what you're trying to accomplish. Jungkook and you were merely coworkers, bypassing each other occasionally or conversing through cubicles when work called for it. 

But there’s a piece of you deep inside that can't help but feel awful. Awful that in a way you were the one to resign him to the fate of his disease with your own actions, pointing out to Aera that there was a guy you knew back in your college days together that would be her type, even helping out to get his number for her.

Conversely, even though you weren't aware of Jungkook’s existence in her life, the image of him hunched over, trembling as the flowers endlessly poured around and circled his sobbing form, is hauntingly ingrained inside your mind, a deep chill running through your spine anytime the memory plays. 

The door swings open, revealing a started Jungkook. 

Knowing what you know now, makes it hard to look at him. He still looks exhausted, the deep circles underneath his eyes ever most present and his skin drained of life. You suspect he’s even lost weight from the last handful of times you’ve seen him at work, the disease taking its sweet time to slowly break him down, bit by bit, till his lungs are full and bursting with flowers. 

“W-What are you doing here?” 

You take in a deep breath, “You’re off from work, right? To be here for the wedding.” 

Aera’s wedding is closer to the end of the month, set seven days after the engagement. 

Seven days left until hanahaki runs its full course of a year, the victim falling prey to its effects and their lungs being forever constricted. 

He slowly nods, “I thought we could go out, do something aside from wedding preparations.” 

Jungkook goes silent and you gnaw on your bottom lip. You knew that the wedding plans were still going on, that Aera would need assistance from the two of you, but you know he’s spending all this time helping the very person he loves, without ever getting to be with her.

You wonder if he’ll protest, if he’ll remark that she needs him and that he needs her, that there’s no way he can halt the planning process for his own needs.

But Jungkook heavily exhales, and you wonder if he can see the pity in your eyes. 

“Okay.” He simply utters, much to your surprise. He widens the door, letting you in before swiveling, attempting to look for his jacket. 

You stand rather awkwardly by the front of his apartment, pleasantly surprised to find the black and white layout of the place, with everything appearing meticulously organized. It’s almost too clean, not a speck of dirt in sight. 

However, the layout seems too simplistic, the black and white not contrasting well with the sunlight that tries to pour in, appearing more bleak and empty for your own liking. 

It feels lonely. 

You press your lips together, a grimace running through you. How long has he been quietly suffering by himself, keeping distance from others? The Jungkook you know wouldn’t even attend events or go out for drinks with everyone else post-work, but now he’s submerged within guests everyday and next to the person he loves, suppressing flowers from spewing out.

Jungkook emerges soon, throwing on a black jacket. Stepping outside with you, he lets out a sharp cough, rubbing his throat with a wince.

“Where to?” He ponders, looking at you with his big doe eyes.

You shrug, “Coffee?” 

He nods, and you lead him to the local coffee shop you’ve frequented a couple of times after work, one that’s more closed in and has cozy booths. It isn't popular by any means, only a few individuals occupying the seats, but it’s something you notice Jungkook relishes in from the corner of your eyes, form visibly easing from the low amount of prying looks. 

You order your drinks, asking Jungkook what he wanted and he simply murmurs that anything was okay. Within minutes, two lattes are handed to you and you join him by the booth he’s seated at, a deep frown marring your lips.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, and you wince, pushing the drink closer to him. 

“Sorry…I didn’t realize this cafe also did coffee art.” 

Jungkook's eyes are wide as the drink comes in front of him, a foamy little white heart greeting his line of vision.

The corner of his mouth curls up. 

“It’s okay.” He remarks, “I think it’s rather cute.” 

You look at him in surprise, but he’s already bringing the drink up to his lips, cautiously taking a sip from the heated mixture.

The words blurt out before you can stop them.

“I’m really sorry.” 

He halts, placing the drink down. “Y/N, I said it was okay–”

“No, not that.” You harshly swallow, “I-I’m sorry…about Aera…” 

He stares at you perplexed and you explain, “I was the one to bring her and Sunoo together. I knew both of them and thought they would work well as a couple.” 

Your eyes flutter shut, biting down on your lip, “If only I had known about your relationship with her, I could have–”

“Y/N.” He stops your train of thought, hand brushing against yours. You immediately stare down at it, and he notices, sheepishly removing it in an instant as his complexion dusts pink. 

He clears his throat, “Don’t apologize. Me and Aera…we were never meant to be, even if you stepped in.” 

You stare at him, “We were friends for years…and even as I came to realize my feelings recently, Aera never once felt the same for me, no matter what I did.” He chuckles bitterly, “I was always Jungkook, her childhood friend, and nothing more.” 

Anguish spreads over his features and your heart sinks. You can imagine a younger Jungkook, gaze filled with adoration and affection for the girl, desperately seeking for something, anything to be similarly reflected in her own eyes. 

Remorse flickers over you, “But I can imagine Sunoo’s sudden appearance wasn’t all that great for you...” 

Jungkook’s gaze falls down, a soft yet wistful smile on his lips. “It confirmed a lot for me, mainly that this disease was going to turn out to be more permanent than I had initially assumed.” 

You bite back your words, wanting to tell him that it isn’t just permanent, that the disease would reside with him until he finally succumbs to it. 

But you can’t bring yourself to, not when there’s so much hurt swirling in his eyes, the disease already physically manifesting itself against his own wishes.

At his silence, you sit up straighter, desperate to change the topic of conversation you had to spring up.

“What do you do outside of work?” You question, “Do you have any hobbies or anything?” 

Anything you do to cope? – you can only silently wonder. 

Your questions catches him off guard. “Not really…” He deeply ponders, “At the most, I’ve been just working…and of course, helping Aera when I had time off.” 

You nod, features twisting. But then his eyes light up.

“Sometimes I like to game.” 

“Game?” You blink and he slowly nods, sipping down on his latte. “I could have never taken you for a gamer.” 

Something you wouldn’t have expected from the quiet man who would bump shoulders with you at work. 

“It’s fun, I like playing games online.” He states, “It helps not having to worry about…” 

His face sours as he gestures to himself and you quickly nod, not wanting him the chance to fill in the blanks. 

“Maybe you could show me sometime.” You suggest, and he looks at you surprised. To be fair, you don’t know the first thing about online gaming, but watching Jungkook’s expression change, having some spark of joy, is too much for you to miss out on.

A soft smile lines his lips. “Sure.”

You mimic his smile, bringing the remains of the latte to your lips.

Aera is to be married soon, Jungkook knows that. 

As such, he’s aware that moments with her are consistent, that she gazes into his eyes with a wide smile regularly, making his heart skip far too many beats. 

But what he is pleasantly unaware of is just how involved you are, unabashedly seeking him out when you need assistance with picking up favors for the wedding. 

“There should be at least a hundred candles wrapped with thank you notes,” You mumble, brows furrowed together as you read the text off your phone. The sun is bright and shining down, a light breeze lingering in the air that truthfully makes his chest feel lighter. 

You glance up, confused eyes connecting with his wide ones. “I can’t open them to check, right?” 

He shakes his head, “I don’t think so.” 

“But then how do I know they made them properly?” You gesture towards the box resting before his feet in exasperation. 

Letting out a huff, you shake your head. “I swear, this whole wedding business is so much more complicated than it really needs to be.” 

A light chuckle resonates through the air and you stare at Jungkook in astonishment, watching at how the corners of his eyes crinkle. 

“Believe me, I know.” He chides, leaning down to pick up the box. “I’ve been helping to plan this wedding for months.” 

“For months?” You question in puzzlement, reaching out to help him balance it. However, he pushes your hands away, gesturing for you to let him carry it. 

You frown, but oblige when he starts to walk. “That must have been so stressful. I’ve been only helping out for the last couple of weeks and it’s already making me want to rip my hair out.”

The corners of his lips tugs up and you continue, the words escaping you before you can stop. “Why would you go to such lengths?” 

You freeze in an instant, already knowing the reason as to why.

“–Sorry,” You quickly retract, “I-I didn’t mean it like that…”

Jungkook shakes his head, almost feeling something akin to amusement. 

His condition is supposed to be a secret, a taboo of a disease and something he’s never uttered a single word to another soul. He supposes that you’re different, that you weren’t someone he told out of his own volition, but rather someone that stumbled upon it. 

Which gives him no reason to hide from you. That, and the fact that you’re so mindful about his potential reactions. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He simply says, but picks up on the curiosity swirling within your orbs. 

“If I can ask…how difficult has it been? Planning all this and dealing with…” 

You wave your finger into the air, letting the sentence complete itself and it makes him want to smile. 

“It’s kind of hard to explain…” He murmurs, falling deep into thought, “I know Aera doesn’t love me, but I still want to see her happy, you know?” 

A low chuckle leaves him, gaze downcasting. “I guess that makes me sound really stupid.” 

“No, not at all.” You justify, “You’re right, it’s hard to explain and even harder for someone like me to understand, but you’ve known Aera for so long, and I can imagine that you care a lot about her…” 

 – and that your love runs deeper than you probably would have imagined – you silently think. 

He hums, glancing around as you cross the street together, your eyes focusing onto his backside. 

After a moment of contemplation, you speak up.

“You know, I really hope I’m not causing you any trouble.” You explain, “I know talking about it can be–” 

“It’s okay.” He replies, “I don’t mind, you’re…really easy to talk to.

You’re surprised by the soft smile he holds while glancing in your direction, but it’s one that you don’t hesitate to return.

A bright yellow flower lands right in front of your face. 

You and Jungkook both jolt, the elderly woman in front of you holding a wide grin. It’s only then you realize that you’re near a boutique, selling flowers to those passing by.

“These beautiful tulips are fresh,” She states, attempting to play matchmaker as both you and Jungkook flush, “It’s said they represent unconditional love.” 

You blink, the scent of the flowers being shoved right into your faces. Jungkook stills, holding in his breath as his form slightly trembles.

You clear your throat immediately, pushing them away. 

“We’re okay.” You take a step back, “I’m allergic to flowers.” 

She grimaces, realization donning upon her that neither of you meant business. You don’t think twice, grabbing Jungkook's wrist and whisking him away from the deeply fragrant area.

It’s only when you walk a good handful of steps away that Jungkook tugs on you, a sheepish look on his features that has your confused eyes widening.

You let go of him, “Sorry.” 

He softly shakes his head. “It’s okay.” 

His head turns, gaze concentrated on the store from a distance. 

The next question leaving his lips has you taken aback, “What’s your favorite flower, Y/N?” 

You deeply mull over it, drawing a blank. “I-I can’t say I have one….” 

He ponders over it and your eyes flicker over to him, “What about you?” 

“Ah–” He lightly laughs, scratching the back of his neck. Your eyes widen when he places the box down and takes hold of his sleeve, rolling it back a few inches.

An array of images greet you immediately, but among them is a giant orangish-red flower carved into his forearm. 

“It’s my birth flower.” He informs. 

You stare at it in pure awe and wonder, the ink swirling his skin beautifully. 

Your voice comes out in a whisper, “What is it called?” 

“The tiger flower.” 

You hum, still looking at it in fascination. “Wow…it’s amazing.” 

Jungkook silently watches, oddly feeling exposed for suddenly revealing an important piece of himself to you. But as he notices your irises brightening and lips curving up, he can’t help but warmly smile, his chest swelling with pride underneath your observations.

Ending up at Jungkook’s apartment becomes a staple for you. 

You don’t know how or when, but through figuring out the delivery for the cake to ensuring you had enough tables for the RSVP'd guests, your messages to Jungkook would occasionally stray over to pondering over how he was doing. His responses always ended in simple reassurances, much to your own dismay, but then he would stray too, bringing up that if you ever felt like coming over again, you could. 

At first, you didn’t want to be rude by declining, but then it became to the point where Jungkook expects you, swinging open to his door non-chantlently.

“Did you eat yet?” 

Entering inside, you shake your head and he turns, heading into his kitchen. You glance around, ultimately deciding to sit on his couch. 

There’s a table right next to it, a handful of picture frames that have your heart twisting. 

They stand out in the midst of his bleak apartment, having an odd touch of hearth to them. There’s different age ranges – roughly around ages nine, twelve, fifteen – all of Aera and Jungkook together. There’s ones of them as small children, bright eyed with huge smiles, to ones where they’re a bit older, smiles turning warm and eyes tender. You muse at how adorable Jungkook looked when he was younger, a light to his crinkled eyes that you don’t really see much anymore.

His footsteps pad into the room, two bowls of instant ramen in his hands. You swivel around and his eyes catch the movement, but if anything he’s learned, it’s that you’re naturally very curious, surprise not even crossing him.

“We can go to my room,” He gestures to the doorway across the hall, “I already have my computer set up.” 

You frown, rising from your seat and following behind him. The room is dark, all the lights turned off save for some sunlight peeking through his black drapes, and you’re astonished to find his room just as organized as the rest of his apartment. 

Off to the side, there’s a bright lit screen alongside a keyboard that glows different colors. 

“Woah.” You mutter and Jungkook hands you your instant ramen, before sitting on the large gaming chair and pulling a seat up for you.

You slurp on your noodles as the game loads. Once it does, his hand revolves around the settings for a moment before he dives into action, his fingertips tapping at an incredible speed across the keyboard and mouse furiously clicking. He seems completely zoned into the game, almost like he had forgotten where he was for a moment.

Nonetheless, you watch with wide eyes as he effortlessly wins the first round, hands coming around to search for his own ramen. He continues to keep playing, pupils never once leaving the monitor and you’re fascinated with how well he’s able to multitask. 

His eyes connect with yours, a grin surfacing on his lips. “Want to try?” 

Unease fills you, “I don’t know, I’m not the greatest with games–”

“You’ll be fine.” He insists and you nervously nod, giving into his wishes. He gently guides your hand over the mouse, watching you attempting to shoot things with terrible coordination. 

It’s when you accidentally shoot someone that was trying to heal you that Jungkook bursts into laughter, a beautiful melodious tone that echoes off the walls. 

“I told you I’m terrible!” You protest with a pout, and his laughter still bubbles as he moves behind you. 

“Here, let me show you.” His hand laces over yours, effortlessly navigating your character. 

You smile at the assistance, watching him cross all the hurdles and play infinitely better in comparison. 

You turn to remark about it, but the words die in your throat. 

His face is inches away from you, something he notices right away too. Neither of you move, the sounds coming from the game lingering in the background.

Jungkook shifts and you instantly move, your hand hitting your container of noodles. 

It spills onto the ground and you immediately get up, clearing your throat.

“I-I’ll go get something to clean it up.” Jungkook simply nods, watching your backside disappear. 

You head straight into his kitchen, pressing a hand against your racing heart. Deeply inhaling and exhaling, you glance around for a cloth, locating it on the edge of the counter immediately and turning back. 

The doorbell rings. 

You blink, hearing the loud sounds of the game coming from Jungkook’s room and wondering if you had imagined it. But then it rings again and you scramble forward, grasping onto the knob.

The sight before you shock you to your core. 

Aera stands in front of you, arms crossed and her orbs tinged with cracks of red. They widen at the appearance of you, the shock scattering over her features reflecting your own. 

“Y/N?” 

“Aera?” You blurt out, wondering what she was doing here. 

Her grand wedding is supposed to be in three days, and here she was. 

Jungkook’s voice cuts through, “Y/N? Is everything oka–” 

You hear his footsteps pad through the apartment before his breath hitches. Aera steps right in at the sight of him, walking straight past you and throwing her arms around his torso. 

She sobs loudly and Jungkook’s pupils quiver, making direct eye contact with your confused ones, before awkwardly wrapping his arms around her. 

There’s a painful tinge in the center of your chest, but you ignore it. 

“S-Sunoo–” Aera sputters out, clutching onto Jungkook tighter. “S-Sunoo and I….we had a fight!”

Jungkook can barely muster out any words, harshly swallowing. Your eyes widen at the reaction, and it’s not long before a cough leaves his lips. 

You step forward, placing your hand on her back. “Aera, how about we take this outside?” 

Her head tilts, like she had just noticed you’re also in the room. 

At her silence, you slowly peel her hands off of Jungkook, who quickly scurries away into the confines of his room.

Aera’s taken aback with response, but nonetheless follows you like a lost puppy.

The moment you’re outside the apartment, she spills. “We ended up fighting, Y/N! Can you imagine?!”

She sobs more, eyes connecting with the door behind you. 

“Why won’t Jungkook come out?” 

“He’s…not feeling the best.” You wince, unable to come up with a better answer. “You know, you should check in on him every now and then.” 

Images of the splattered flowers echo through your mind. 

“What’s there to check?” She chuckles, sniffling and wiping her tears, “Jungkook’s always fine.”

Your chest tightens, something unfamiliar brewing. 

“No one’s ever always fine.” You grit. 

Even if his symptoms weren’t so painfully obvious, there was no way to simply dismiss it all as something mere like work fatigue. 

Aera eyes you, baffled by your tone, “Since when have the two of you gotten close?” 

You open your mouth a couple of times – unable to muster the exact words for an answer. However, you relent, shaking it away and opting to ask her about Sunoo instead, to which she gladly focuses on. 

***

You spend a considerable amount of time coaxing Aera that Sunoo still loved her and that being stressed about wedding planning was completely normal. 

She cries continuously and you pat her back, sprouting as much reassurance as you can all while bypassing any of her further inquiries about Jungkook. It seems to help, because soon she’s nodding in agreement as the tears within her eyes begin to dry. 

She departs and you manage to head back into the apartment, exhausted beyond belief. 

But Jungkook lingers in your mind. 

You bolt into his room, heading directly into the connecting bathroom. The door whips open, and your heart clenches at the sight before you.

There’s bright yellow tulips. Everywhere. And Jungkook is in the middle of them, form slouched against the wall with his eyes squeezed shut and sweat sticking to his temples. 

You immediately crouch down, placing his weak arm around your neck and helping him to his feet. When he sways, you let him lean his weight against you. 

Sitting him down onto his bed, you withdraw into the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. Reentering the bedroom, his gaze is downcasted and you silently hand him the drink, watching his fingertips curl around the cup. 

You then walk back into the bathroom, taking every piece of petal that’s been scattered and throwing it into the toilet can. You flush it down the drain as Jungkook sips on the water, quietly watching you from afar. 

You sit down next to him with a deep sigh, silence overtaking the dark room. 

A shuddering breath leaves him. 

“I started to forget…” He croaks, grasping your attention immediately, “I actually managed to forget about everything for once. The engagement, the wedding, her…” 

You remorsefully watch as his eyes flutter shut, noticing the single tear that rolls down his cheek. It propels you to shift forward, wrapping your arms around him comfortingly. 

He leans into your touch, head resting on your shoulder and his arm curling around your waist. 

There’s a thought that lingers in the back of your mind, seemingly growing louder and louder with every passing minute. 

“You know…” He lets out a low hum and you continue, willing all your courage together. “I ended up thinking about a third alternative in curing you.” 

Within a heartbeat, he mumbles – “What was it?” 

Sucking in a sharp inhale, you let it out. 

“For you to fall in love…with someone else.” 

His breath hitches, form stiffening underneath your fingertips. You part from him and he slowly raises his head, staring at you impassively. 

You fidget underneath his gaze, unable to read his thoughts. 

After what feels like an eternity, you slowly pull yourself away from him. It was wrong of you to bring it up and you want to curse yourself for thinking otherwise. 

Shuffling your feet, you stand up. 

Jungkook’s hand clasps onto yours, tugging you towards him in an instant. Your eyes morph with surprise, but then his lips collide with yours. 

It steals your breath away, warmth flooding through you and making you melt at his touch. He tentatively moves against you, lips softly brushing against your own. 

He pulls back for a split second, chest rising and falling. But you lean forward, pressing your lips against his once again. 

And that’s all it takes to drown. 

Jungkook litters kisses all down your jaw and neck, and you find yourself stumbling backwards, back hitting his mattress. It’s only a matter of a few moments before his torso is hovering over you, and you reach up, clutching onto his shoulders. 

Your clothes scatter across the room and Jungkook’s bare chest presses against you. He marks your skin in the shape of his lips, all while his name profusely tumbles out of your own. He pushes into you, gently at first, like he has something to prove. You accept him fully, nails sinking into his back as you both climax, an onslaught of gasps and moans escaping the two of you. 

His arm wraps securely around your waist, and you're lulled into a deep sleep.

You’re woken to the sound of retching.

A gasp parts from your lips, and you immediately scramble up from the bed, dressed in only the shirt Jungkook had been wearing the night before. You stumble into the bathroom, finding Jungkook hunched over and surrounded with the yellow flowers once again. 

However, your breath hitches. 

Because this time there’s more of them, and they're all splattered with drops of scarlet.

“Jungkook!” You exclaim, knees buckling down. Placing your hand on his shaking back, you rub it up and down comfortingly. 

“I-I was starting to feel b-better…” He chokes out in defeat, hands clutching onto the toilet. A cluster of coughs leave him, his voice disappearing as more and more red stained flowers overflow out.

You attempt to coax him, features twisted from watching him be contorted in so much pain. “It’s okay, Jungkook.” Your hold on him is firm, “We’ll figure it out, don’t worry, we’ll–” 

“Y-You don’t understand….” He cries out, "I-I can't, Y/N…."

A deep furrow in your brows form and Jungkook shakes his head, eyes shut as his forehead lulls down, “I-I can’t do this anymore….I-I’m still in love with her."

It feels like someone’s just stabbed you in the heart.

Jungkook doesn’t look at you, entangled in too much shame and agony to dare raise his head and say the same words with your eyes meeting his. The same pair of eyes that discovered him one day and reached out, not letting him stumble on his own anymore.

Orbs glossing over, you rise with shaky legs. The feeling in the pit of your chest twists and knots, spreading through you like a deep ache. 

Jungkook can’t say anything, not even at the sound of you grabbing your clothes, the unevenness of your footsteps against his carpet, or the door shutting on your way out from his apartment, the frequency echoing off the walls. His gaze remains fixated on the flowers, even plucking one completely smeared in red, wondering why fate was always so cruel to him – why, in his mind when he’s smiling and laughing with you, Aera’s warm eyes and big smile show up there instead, forever imprinted into his brain.

***

You stagger on your way home. 

A stream of hot tears roll down your face, with harsh breaths shuddering out of you. Your sobs are thundering and violent, racking through your entire form. 

There’s a thousand emotions running through you, leaving your mind completely numb and your body feeling like it’s breaking, scattering into pieces. You wonder how you could have let it gotten to this point, wonder how you could have been so foolish. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, you soon arrive at your apartment complex. You can barely unlock the front door, gasping as you stumble in. 

You fall right at the entrance, clawing your hands around your throat, eyes rapidly darting and flickering everywhere. The pain accelerates, winding tortuously over and over around your windpipe. 

The cord snaps. 

A sharp chain of coughs leaves your lips, vibrating down your throat and through your lungs. It morphs into a retch and the contents come spilling forth before you can even blink. 

Deeply heaving, you can only stare helplessly at the clutter of bright orangish-red tiger flowers before you. 

Love is twisted. 

It threatens to find you unexpectedly, spontaneously making you crumble within seconds. It’s a spur of the moment, welcoming in painful affection. Love at first sight, that withers into petals of grief. Or simply an unexpected encounter, getting spun into something that turns your entire world upside down. 

It develops, it grows. It becomes so much more, rendering you weak and constricting your breathing, just as the mere thought of it makes you feel sick. 

Until of course, it becomes long term, a trail of flowers never leaving your side. 

You don’t see Jungkook for the remaining days until the wedding, avoiding him like the plague. He doesn’t reach out, keeping to himself like he’s always done. 

However, running into him at the wedding now, is a completely different story. 

He’s dressed in a sleek fitted black suit, his hair styled and pushed back. He’s working alongside the caterer, a crease in between his brows as he ensures the food arrives in a timely manner. 

You had just entered the venue, eyes scanning around for any indication of where Aera might be. 

As cruel as fate would be, your eyes suddenly find his. 

You attempt to look away, but it only takes three steps for Jungkook to be right in front of you. 

He looks the same, his skin pale and dark circles still underneath his eyes, tiredness running deep through him. 

He opens and closes his mouth several times, before quietly asking a question that has you nearly coughing. 

“Are…are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Your voice comes out croaked, immediately taking a step back from him. He catches the movement and you notice it right away – the way his eyes scan all over your face.

You wonder if he can see the fatigue in your shoulders, wonder if he can see the bags starting to form under your eyes, or how pale you seem to have gotten. Wonder if he knows you were throwing up just this morning, mind swirling with thoughts of him and lungs brimming with flowers, unable to loosen the imprint he’s left.

“Are you sure? I–” He reaches out and you flinch, but then a call of your name has you spinning around. 

“Aera has been looking for you two.” A woman you instantly recognize as her mother, informs. You nod, ignoring the pleading look in Jungkook’s eyes that just makes your lungs constrict.

After all, you were here for someone else entirely. 

But when you and Jungkook follow her into a side room to see Aera completely decked out in a lavious white wedding dress, you can only harshly swallow. 

“Y-You look amazing.” You sputter out, and she has a huge, radiant smile. 

“Isn’t it lovely?” She chuckles, “I can’t wait until you get married and wear one too, Y/N!” 

You know she means well, but your lips are pursued together, not a single word slipping out as you numbingly nod. 

She turns to Jungkook, her smile widening, “What do you think, Kookie?” 

It catches Jungkook off guard, his gaze previously on you.

A small smile laces on his lips and he answers her genuinely. 

“It’s lovely on you, Aera. You look very beautiful.” 

She giggles, looping her arm around his. 

But you can see everything. 

Jungkook’s eyes are tender and warm, fondness radiating out from every fiber of his body. He holds her gently, as if treasuring her was his uttermost priority. 

Your breath hitches, a wave of nausea hitting you. There’s nothing you can mutter except a quiet ‘excuse me’ as you’re racing out of the room, hand clamping against your mouth and feet hurriedly filtering through the venue. 

You don’t even find a bathroom, yanking open the door to a staff closet before you stumble down, tiger flowers bursting out of your lips. Water builds up in your eyes, hand clutching onto your chest as the retching continues, a deep burn being left behind. 

It’s when the flowers slow down, decreasing in volume that you manage to swipe some of the sweat trailing down your temples. Your vision finally focuses through all the tears, small coughs still trembling through your windpipe. 

A small gasp behind you has you freezing. 

Your half-lidded eyes snap back, finding Jungkook's paralyzed ones. A hand is covering his mouth, his voice quivering.

“Oh my god….” 

You don’t have the strength to will your voice to work, barely able to breath in and out with your congested airflow. Jungkook falls to his knees, eyes scanning all over the flowers before flickering up to you. 

“You–” He begins, form frantic. “In here…the f-flowers….” 

His hand plucks up on the tiger flower, perfectly matching the ink on his skin. 

He lets go of the flower and it flutters down to you. His lips move, horror transfixed in his eyes as the realization dawns onto him, hitting him all at once.

“I-I broke you….” 

You sniffle, arm coming up to swipe away the tears that have collected in your eyes. But Jungkook is faster, the pads of his thumbs immediately coming up to cup your face, gently brushing them away.

You look up, gaze locked onto his. And you can see everything. 

He understands – his pain reflecting yours. 

“Jungkook!” He sucks in a breath, head swiveling around to a voice echoing out from the closet. “Where have you been? Everyone’s already taken their seats.” 

“I-I’ll be right there.” He turns to you, but you’re already scooping the flowers up, tucking them into a bag that you found nearby. Jungkook silently joins you, helping you until the closet is completely clear of any trace of them. 

You leave before him, not exchanging one word. 

The wedding commences. 

You have taken your seat at the front, having a full display of the event right before you. Jungkook sits a row behind you, and you’re grateful at not having to be so close to him for the long duration. 

Because as much as you can acknowledge the shared pain you hold – you know that the existence for Jungkook's is why you’re gathered here today, and you know that yours is just sitting a row away.

He will never love you like you do him. Aera will never love him like he does her.

The ceremony begins and you look up, gazing at the couple you’ve come to see tie the knot. The marriage officiant speaks up, going through each and every piece of what will bring them together. Your eyes are focused, but ever so and then, they furrow at Aera.

Not because of envy, but rather, it’s like her eyes are wavering, prodding around in the audience instead.

What is she doing? 

You wonder, only seeing her glance at Sunoo a couple of times or breaking out of her daze to repeat the officiant words. 

It’s almost like she’s focused on–

Your eyes trail, following her field of vision until it lands straight on Jungkook. And you’re even more caught off guard when you find out where his gaze is directed. 

He’s looking at you, eyes not wavering even when you catch him.

You flush at the realization, quickly averting your eyes to focus back onto the couple. Thankfully, it soon draws to an end and the officiant wraps up the ceremony.

“You may now kiss the bride.” Sunoo leans in and Aera smiles, as does the officiant. 

He pronounces them as husband and wife and a big cheer erupts from the guests. Everyone claps – including you and the couple descends down, interacting with those that have attended their wedding.

You take up the opportunity to depart, desperately needing some fresh air and Jungkook catches onto the action.

“Jungkook!” Aera exclaims, leaving Sunoo’s side and looping her arm around his, “Come on! I want a pictur–” 

“Not now, Aera.” He winces with an apologetic smile, feet headed after the direction you’ve left in. Aera watches in complete disbelief, not even hearing Sunoo call out her name. 

His steps are quickened, eyes darting back and forth. He bumps into a couple of guests on the way out, simply giving them a quick smile before he resumes trudging against the tiled floor.

His heart is racing, so much to the point where it feels like it might burst.

Within minutes, he finds your backside on a bench outside near the venue, shoulders hunched and making your form appear smaller than ever.

“Y/N?” He breathes out, slowly walking towards you.

“J-Jungkook?” You swivel, startled that he had followed you out here. 

He stands in front of you, kneeling down. The eye contact makes you flinch, an uncomfortable sensation churning in your chest the longer he looks at you. 

But before you can run away, before you can even search for a place to empty out the flowers threatening to spill from your throat, he leans forward. 

He leans forward, and his lips collide with your own. 

You softly gasp, heat brushing on your cheeks. It feels just like the first time you shared a kiss with him, warmth flooding through you. 

Your trembling hands reach out, tugging him closer. 

He places his own on top of yours, holding them as lips moving fervently against yours. 

You feel it all – the delicate flowers blooming within your chest, the hues of orangish-red coloring your windpipe, the itch to push him away spiking more than ever.

But you part from him with a different reason altogether. 

A sharp breath escapes you, airflow flooding into your lungs. It feels easier to inhale and exhale, no longer feeling like there was something constricting and blocking your windpipe.

As your chest rises and falls sporadically, you stare at Jungkook in astonishment. He mimics the expression you hold, a twinkle beginning to spark in his eyes. 

Almost as if he were experiencing the same thing. 

“I-I can–” 

“Breathe?” He completes with a smile and you slowly nod, tears slipping out of your eyes. 

Jungkook wraps his arms around you comfortingly, his own eyes glossing over as you tremble. The pads of his thumbs come up to cup your face, gently brushing your tears away. 

He rises to his feet, reaching his hand out. You take it within a heartbeat, sniffling as he walks back into the venue with you. 

Your tender gazes occasionally meet, with soft smiles being exchanged. 

A sharp scream pierces through the air.

The two of you whirl around in an instant, noticing Aera's mother stepping out of the room in the frenzy.

“What happened?” You immediately ask, watching the woman’s shake her head frantically. 

She doesn’t answer you, too caught up in her own thoughts, “Oh, it’s terrible, so, so terrible–”

You frown, but Jungkook tugs on you, eyes staring straight into the room that she had left.

Stepping next to him, your eyes transfixed into horror.

Aera stands in the middle of the room, with Sunoo by her side – a plethora of tiger flowers and tulips surrounding the two of them. 

[seokteoksworld]

i read some of these fics.. and it’s so beautiful 😭 unfortunately the author hasn’t updated in 3 years so there won’t be a part for joon

flora & fauna series

Flowers and humans, and the way heartbreak can inextricably link them together. —hanahaki disease au, non-idol au, angst

p.cred

(i do not own the hanahaki disease concept; all members below cut)

Keep reading

[hellbornsworld]

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(4)๑‿︵‿୨

.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹༺⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ع˖⁺

✿ When She Loved Me | CEO!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @jungkookstatts

✿ Sleepaway | Yandere!JK X Reader | Series | @flowesona

✿ Mine | Jungkook x Demon! Female Reader | One-shot | @playmetheclassics

✿ Your eyes tell | Yandere!JK X Reader | Twins AU | @angellgguk

✿ Noir | Daddy!JK x Little!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ Love Is a Game: For Political Enemies | JK X Reader | @lleldey

✿ petals with luv | Emporer!Jungkook x PalaceWoman!Reader | Hanahaki AU | @hisunshiine

✿ a lover’s bond | jungkook x female reader | greek mythology! AU | @latetaektalk

✿ love in the dark | Ceo!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @spideyjimin

✿ Like I’m Famous | Idol!JK X Reader | One-Shot | long distance au | @softyoongiionly

✿ I’ll Be Home for Christmas | Pilot Jungkook x female OC | One-Shot | @bluewhale52

✿ Falling | jungkook x female reader | Soulmate AU | @starshapedkookie

✿ Pick Your Fighter | gamer!jk X gamer!reader | @jikookiekosmos

✿ angels like you | Jungkook X Reader | S2L | One-Shot | @aquagustd

✿ Killing me softly with his touch | JK X Reader | One-Shot | @borathae

✿ Bad Man | Badboy!JK X Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ The Monster in the Dark | yandere!sleep paralysisdemon!jjk X fem!Reader | One-Shot | @themochiverse

✿ S O U L M A T E S | Crackhead!Jk X Reader | Series | @smaubts

✿ bad romance | badboy!jungkook x goodgirl!reader | One-Shot | @noteguk

✿ No Guardian Angel | The Crow!Jungkook X Reader | @jiminstonic

✿ Love Letters | Prince!Jungkook × Maid!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ LESSON I | YandereTeacher!jungkook x bully student fem!reader | Three-Shot | @redsaurrce

✿ RED | demon!jk x fem!reader | Series | @armpirate

✿ Follow the White Rabbit | idol! jungkook x idol! reader | @youthguk

✿ Ｎｕｍｂ ｔｏ Ｔｈｅ Ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇ | Dark! Shitty! Yandere! Jeon Jungkook x Fem!Reader | One-Shot | @pynkgothicka

✿ Delivery Date | pizzadeliveryboy!jungkook x reader | One-Shot | @dntaewithluv

✿ Who is in control? | jk x reader | Drabble AU | @ctrlsht

✿ sweetest apparition | nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader | @jeonfiles

✿ m y s t r a n g e a d d i c t i o n | professor!jk X student!Reader | One-Shot | @joonberriess

✿ to err is to love | dilf!jk /ex husband!jk / ceo!jk x afab reader | Series | @jungkookschin

✿ polarity | BestFriendBF!JK X Reader | Series | @darkestcorners

✿ KILL TO KISS YOU | Yandere!Jungkook x Prostitute!Reader | One-Shot | @chummywchimmy

✿ Ode To The Nature Of Romance | Jungkook x Reader | @yeoldontknow

✿ Cabin in The Woods | Werewolf!Jungkook x Human!Reader | One-Shot | @girl8890

✿ Nothing was gonna stop me | Jeon Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot | @wildestdreamsblog

✿ Teacher’s Pet | professor/dilf!jungkook x student!reader | Series | @axigailxo

✿ prima nocta | king!jungkook, virgin!reader | royalty au | One-Shot | @yoon2k

✿ End of Time | Jungkook x Reader | Series | @deepdarkdelights

✿ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 | Yandere!JK X Reader | @euphoricfilter

✿ Paint | painter!jungkookxassistant!reader | @hongjoongscafe

✿ 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 & 𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒔 | environmentalist! jungkook x college student! reader | @miraclesatnightfall

✿ The Broken Vow | Husband!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @lleldey

✿ Euphoria | bad boy jungkook x librarian yn | @btsydtrash

✿ White Pearl | CEO Sugar daddy Jungkook x stripper sugar baby reader | @lovelyspring7

✿ just a little bit of your heart | JK X Reader | @chemicalpink

✿ imminent danger | jungkook x reader | @whatifyoulivelikethat

✿ Knockout | boxer!dad!jungkook x pregnant!reader | Drabble | @jvngkook97

✿ Please Love Me! | Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader | @icedmatchatae

✿ The Boyfriend Experience | Escort!Jungkook x Fem!Reader | @shina913

.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ☁⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹༺⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺

OTHER POSTS:

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(1)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(2)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(3)

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)

BTS X READER WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(2)

[leeknot]

Intro

MASTERLIST

Stray Kids

Chan

Bang Chan × reader × Lee Know (oneshot,smut,chan is a wolf hybrid)

Lee know

Bang Chan × reader × Lee Know (oneshot,smut,chan is a wolf hybrid)

Lee Know × reader (oneshot,psychological thriller)

Lee Know (oneshot,fluff with his daughter)

Changbin

Changbin × reader (oneshot,smut,friends to lovers,christmas themed)

Hyunjin

Hyunjin × reader (oneshot,smut,snake hybrid hyunjin)

Han

Han × reader (oneshot,smut,hard dom han)

Han × reader (oneshot,angst)

Felix

Felix × reader (oneshot,tooth rotting fluff,reader is a little)

Seungmin

Seungmin × reader (oneshot,angst,hanahaki disease)

Seungmin × reader (oneshot,smut,reader is a puppy hybrid)

Seungmin × reader × Mina (oneshot,smut)

I.N

Jeongin × reader (oneshot,smut,reader is a thief and jeongin is some sort of mafia)

OT8

OT8 × reader (oneshot,smut)

OT8 × reader (series,A/B/O au,fluff)

Enhypen

Heeseung

Heeseung × reader (series,yandere,highschool au)

Jay

Jay × reader (oneshot,a lil suggestive,yandere professor jay,student reader)

Jake × Jay × reader (oneshot,fluff,little!reader)

Jake

Jake × reader (oneshot,smut,dragon jake)

Jake × Jay × reader (oneshot,fluff,little!reader)

Jake × reader (series,yandere jake,pregnant reader,squid game au)

Sunghoon

Sunghoon × reader (oneshot,smut)

Sunghoon × reader (oneshot,smut)

Sunghoon × reader (oneshot)

Sunoo

Sunoo × reader (oneshot,romance)

Jungwon

Jungwon × reader (oneshot,smut,reader is a mermaid and jungwon is some sort of pirate)

Ni-Ki

Ni Ki × reader (oneshot,smut)

Ni Ki × reader (oneshot,romance,ni ki is supposed to kill reader but instead he falls in love)

OT7

OT7 × reader (oneshot,smut)

OT7 × reader (series,dark psychology)

OT7 × reader (oneshot,tooth rotting fluff,reader is a little)

OT7 × reader (series,fluff,reader is a little)

BTS

Jin

Seokjin × reader (oneshot,fluff,romance,jij is a nerd)

Seokjin × Taehyung × reader (angst,romance)

Yoongi

Yoongi × reader (oneshot,angst)

Hoseok

Nothing yet!

Namjoon

Namjoon × reader (oneshot,smut,demon namjoon)

Jimin

Jimin × reader (oneshot,smut,mafia!jimin,ballerina!reader)

Taehyung

Seokjin × Taehyung × reader (angst,romance)

Jungkook

Jungkook × reader (oneshot,light smut)

OT7

OT7 × reader (oneshot,dark romance)

[jadzidraws]

Honda Odissey Fight Scene Movie: Deadpool 3: Deadpool & Wolverine                                

Fanfiction tags cards serie

Surely one of the biggest long tag existing on ao3.

This is an ongoing serie, follow the links under the cut for the others cards already published:

Coffe shop AU , Hanahaki disease , OMG they were roomates , Fairy tale AU , Text message fic , Everyone is gay , Flower shop AU , Red string of fate AU , Harry Potter AU , Umbrella sharing , There was only one bed , And they were quarantined , Citrus Scale , Draco in leather pants , Soulmark ,  Body Swap , No Rim job , Slash ,  Time Travel , Flower shop and tatto parlor , Slowburn , Enemies to Lovers/Lovers to enemies , Zuko is an awkward turtleduck , Bet on it , Warewolf and vampire  ,  Book store AU , I think that went pretty well , Pon Farr , Height difference , Dead Dove Do Not Eat ,  Omegaverse , Kindergarden teacher and single parent , Canon what canon , Pining , Amnesia   , Mpreg , Fpreg , Superpower au ,  Fake Dating (but not really) , Ballet AU

 Public Proposal , Egg Preg , Oh. Oh in italic. , Incense burner , Crying in the bathroom , Shower sex , I wanted to cry in the bathroom, bt you were already occupying the bathub , cannibalism as a metaphor of love , Drabble

[alacants]

Can you explain me what the whole alpha beta omega thing means? I'm new to all this 😕

face in hands. user omegabulletin do you know what you've done!!!

that is to say, i'm happy to explain as best i can, just keep in mind that i'm not actually an expert on this particular trope so what you're going to get is a skewed intro + My Thoughts On The Genre. i just love solving puzzles, is the thing.

ok so this general category of work (fic/art/doujinshi/webnovels/real physical published books!!!!) is often referred to as omegaverse. it's an alternate universe setting that includes a social/hierarchical categorization based on biological roles which are sometimes (often?)  often referred to as secondary gender. those roles are very, very, very loosely based on classic(ally incorrect) wolfpack behavioral tropes: alphas (most powerful), betas (support role), omegas (least powerful). you can read a basic overview of common omegaverse features here. uh. warning for kink.

now having said that. the interpretation varies WILDLY from creator to creator, work to work, and fandom to fandom. some drill down heavily on all aspects of the biological experience. some keep most of the biology but leave out the. the mpreg. some totally ignore all of that and focus on the social hierarchy. some land somewhere in between. 

omegaverse is vastly flexible and appeals to people for a range of reasons as diverse as infrastructure worldbuilding and breeding kink. in other words the perfect au storm. testament to its strength is how it originated in eng-speaking namerican media fandom and caught on like wildfire in non-eng speaking east asian media fandoms. like. that is a real compliment. (in my experience the reverse—e.g. hanahaki—has been much more common.)

in my opinion, the main vectors of appeal more or less fall into three categories:

physiological variance: knotting, mpreg, self-lubrication, etc.

sexual/romantic dynamics: dominance, possessiveness, mated-for-life, guilt-free heteronormativity 

SOCIOCULTURAL DYNAMICS THE PART I LIKE!!!!

we will now talk about the last category. because it is the part i like.

namely, this set-up—arbitrary classifications that affect your treatment by society based on biological factors outside your control—is a walking invitation to commentary on gender and sexuality. sometimes this is done deliberately and is very clunky. sometimes this is done deliberately and is very good. sometimes this is done accidentally and is FASCINATING. (sometimes this is done accidentally and is Big Yikes.)

additionally, it provides an extra layer of complexity and texture that can suddenly make even the most run-of-the-mill canon scenarios intriguing. like, my answer here is half about, hey, what would this mean for the rules of play. what about SUBSTANCE TESTING. 

here are a couple examples of both of the above. by the same author (halotolerant) because i thought i had more in my bookmarks but apparently i do not.

If I'm Not Made For You (tennis rpf, novak/andy) - sideways commentary on both gender and queerness in sports. i've linked it here before—it's very well done.

Common Scents (bts, rm/suga) - SUCH good worldbuilding, just a joy to dive into. also, 75k. 

it's rare, i think, that you have a completely crowdsourced fan-generated worldbuilding package that is so popularly familiar that you can recognizably engage with it across fandoms. (fandoms do this internally all the time—that's where we get fanon/fanon subversion.) like you could drop me in an omegaverse fic for f1, although i hope you don't unless i get a really good look at the tags first, and i would probably understand the basic dynamics at work and what you are saying about the characters by how those dynamics are applied. (actually, the second link above is a perfect example. everything i know about bts comes from my friends.)

the shared knowledge base also means that the draw, for me, is often similar to what it is for like… the concept of fanfiction in general. given the pattern, where are the outliers. what do they look like. what do the core assumptions fail to account for. a beta that says he's an alpha. an omega/beta romance. a beta/beta romance. a person who seems to fit all or none of those categories.

that's just what i'm interested in! you can also find subversion of the kink tropes—i know a lot less about that part. alpha 4 alpha is popular, subverting the submissive omega trope is popular, others???? 

and, i mean, there is obviously massive appetite for the concept played straight! it's a foolproof way to find fic about your fave being like YES, YOU are the ONE for me. let's have some dommy possessive sex about it. valid!

this is maybe not the best intro post. i hope i didn't just make everything even more confusing. the fanlore page linked above has a ton of sample fics linked, or you can check out the alpha/beta/omega dynamics tag on ao3.

oh almost forgot. OR you can read the new york times reporting on an omegaverse intellectual property lawsuit. and i think that's the perfect note to end this post on. :)

[blueberrykenn]

Kennie's Top 10 Yearly Fic Recommendations

Okay so this is the 2nd year of me doing this (but this year I wont delete) butttt I show my top 10 fic and authors for each member/group( some members of bts repeat due to the amount of poly fics I read and its what I mainly read) (A handful of these have smut so heres your warning)

(I would also love to be your guys friends as every single one of you seems absolutely amazing)

LETS GET STARTED

10. @guqwrvte Make it Three (Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung)

Oh where do I start with this fic I found it in the spring looking for a Soulmate fic and oh boy I was in for a ride THREE SOULMATES?! ummm YES and the arcade chapter was ABSOULELY AMAZING! I hope you're doing well Author!! as this fic hasn't been updated in a while

9. @yonkimint Without You (Yoongi with a side of Hoseok or "Jay")

OHHHH BOY When I wanted a love triangle I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED I found this fic in April looking for angst and ANGST I GOT without spoiling it its a Pregnancy/ Single Mom AU and one of the best ones Ive read in a longgggg time

8. @guksthighs Bloom (Yoongi)

OH BOY This is a recent one actually. This one shot was made SIX YEARS AGO?! OMG Hanahaki AUs are one of my favorites angst type of fics so when I read this I literally sobbed like a baby I cant say much else without spoiling it

7. @kimnjss cyberslut (Yoongi), less of you/VINTAGE (Jimin), Strawberry Kisses(Jungkook)

MISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVES SINCE 2019 like when I first read beside you YESS I reread Cyberslut and HAD to include it but reading less of you in June as I was dealing with my own breakup it was a tear jerker towards the end of less of you, for me I wont spoil it but there a plot twist that I was not expecting towards the end of the sequel, Vintage. BUT STRAWBERRY KISSES OH MY GAHD I read that on my way home in August even though its a SMUTTY I enjoyed it a lot and the FLUFF I think some people looked at me crazy when I took the bus home that day

6. @skazoo if you tell me about yourself( Stray Kids' Felix)

Okay here me out! Demon Slayer. Its one of my favorite manga and anime series and with CHANBIN as a hashira UMMM YES ynand chanbin are literally Genya and Sanemi if Genya was a girl and not YK (demon slayer spoiler!!) eating demons, but this 2 parter was ABSOULTELY AMAZING

5. @ugh-yoongi a word from our sponsors (Namjoon)

How do you get a idoit podcasters to not realize they have feelings but read smut YOU GET THESE TWO MFERS This one shot was sooooooo good!! like I read a lot of smut but this? TOP TEIR OF ONESHOTS OF 2023

4. @sopebubbles Bulletproof Heart (2Seok)

THIS ROLLERCOASTER If I had to describe my childhood in fanfictions this one would be one (check #1 for the other) I wont say why because spoilers but this angst was OMG THE YOONGI HATE WAS UNREAL NOT MY YOONGLES but I loved it soooooooo much

3.@jihoonotes Yearning(SVT's Woozi)

Lee Jihoon is literally my ult bias. Do I need to say more? ITS WORTH THE READ

2. @solemnreads Way Back Home(Jungkook)

THIS FIC HAD ME FUCKING EVERYWHERE with the twins to CEO Kook THE JEALOUSLY I LOVE IT by far the best exes to lovers fic I read this year

before I tell yall #1 I wanna give an honorable mention to @purpleyoonn they would be on the main list if I was done reading you complete us BUTTTT RED STRING is amazing even though there only 2 parts so far

Okay Okay this should be expected if you been here for a bit

1.@theharrowing Literally anything they write but mainly Rose Tinted Obsessions and Collateral

Boy Blue and Collateral Taehyungs literally Remained me of In between Taehyung so much that I got inspired to write in between again everything I read from them is Absolutely Amazing, Top Tier just Yes DARK FICS are literally my go to so reading them had me sooooo happy and wanting more

[luumiinaa]

Genres Tags

⌞GENRES⌝ NAVIGATION ⌞RECS 1⌝ &TEAM ATZ BND BTS ENHA MISC ⌞RECS 2⌝ NCT RZE SVT SKZ TBZ TXT ZB1

.　 　✦　 　˚　 　 . 🐈 * 　　 . 　 ˚ 　 . 　* 　　. 　 ˚　✦ 　.

BY WORD-TYPE ⌞DRABBLE⌝ less than 1k ⌞SHORT⌝ 1k to 10k oneshot ⌞LONG⌝ 11k to 20k oneshot ⌞STORY⌝ 21k+ oneshot ⌞SMAU⌝ social media series ⋆ text blurbs ⌞SERIES⌝ long series ⋆ mini series ⋆ spinoffs ⌞MISCELLANEOUS⌝ headcanons ⋆ mtl

˚　 ⋆ . ✦ ˚　 📖 ˚ 　 * . . . 　 *

BY SUBGENRE ⌞☾.ᐟ MOON⌝ lumi’s favourite ⌞☆.ᐟ MERCURY⌝ sfw ⋆ all about that fluff ⌞★.ᐟ MARS⌝ sfw ⋆ suggestively everything ⌞✧.ᐟ JUPITER⌝ nsfw ⋆ pwp ⌞✦.ᐟ VENUS⌝ nsfw ⋆ little to no plot, pure 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝒯𝐻

˚　 　 ✦　 　.　 　. 　  ˚　 . 🍳⋆ .   　˚ 　 * . ✦

BY GENRE ⌞GENERAL⌝ fluff ⋆ angst ⋆ hurt/comfort ⋆ crack ⋆ slice of life ⋆ slow burn ⋆ dark fic

⌞LOVERS⌝ friends ⋆ strangers ⋆ frenemies ⋆ enemies ⋆ coworkers ⋆ ex lovers ⋆ secret lovers ⋆ friends to more ⋆ established relationship

⌞TROPES⌝ childhood friends ⋆ best friends ⋆ neighbours ⋆ brother’s best friend ⋆ best friends brother ⋆ roommates ⋆ fake dating

⌞SCENARIOS⌝ workplace romance ⋆ arranged marriage ⋆ love triangle ⋆ unrequited love ⋆ mutual pining ⋆ no strings attached ⋆ family dynamics

⌞THEME⌝ mob ⋆ agents ⋆ historical ⋆ royalty ⋆ knightcore ⋆ gamer ⋆ sports ⋆ street racers ⋆ cyberpunk ⋆ dystopian ⋆ apocalypse ⋆ summertime vibes ⋆ festive vibes

⌞ACADEMIA⌝ highschool ⋆ college

⌞AUs⌝ spiderverse ⋆ avatar the last airbender ⋆ pokémon ⋆ genshin impact ⋆ star wars ⋆ hogwarts ⋆ percy jackson ⋆ winx club ⋆ studio ghibli

⌞MAGICAL REALISM⌝ superpowers ⋆ soulmates ⋆ reincarnation ⋆ hanahaki ⋆ demigods

⌞SUPERNATURAL⌝ paranormal ⋆ witches and wizards ⋆ urban creatures ⋆ dragons ⋆ aquatic lore ⋆ faeries ⋆ vampires ⋆ omegaverse ⋆ hybrids

[clearaeipathy]

Flowers of Remembrance

BTS Jungkook x reader

_______________________________________

-Trigger warnings: mentions of blood

-Hanahaki au, angst

-female reader

-Thoughts are in lowercase since I can't figure out how to type in italic

-please don't repost on platforms other than tumblr

-plagiarism is absolutely unacceptable, pls let me know first if you're going to write something inspired by my work. If you see anyone plagiarizing my work orwith work similar to mine, i would really appreciate it if you could let me know!

-feedback would be appreciated, thank you for reading!!

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N likes flowers.

She really does. Or that's what she told herself as Claire dragged her around the shop.

Claire is the type of girl who loves to daydream, is a hopeless romantic, keeps seven diaries, gets flustered easily around boys, and likes pink. There's nothing wrong with any of that. It's just that sometimes, Y/N doesn't know how she ever put up with Claire's giggly, daydreamy antics long enough for Claire to declare them friends.

It was definitely not on her to-do list to go shopping for bouquets of flowers so that Claire could gift her latest boyfriend something for Valentine's. With the artificial minty smell in the shop, the crowded aisles bursting with succulents and pots, Y/N couldn't help but feel just a bit claustrophobic.

"Ah, Y/N!!! Do you think Jay will like these?"

Y/N barely turned around before a bouquet of daisies were shoved into her face. Claire beamed eagerly, anticipating her reaction. "Soooo, how is it? Do you think he'll like these? Well, actually, now I'm not so sure... because Jay's actually like the bad boy type, but I feel like he's a softie... oh, honestly, he's so dreamy..." She gazed wistfully at the daisies.

don't kill the flowers. you pay for what you break.

just keep breathing and definitely don't snatch the flowers and stomp on them because your wallet will definitely be ruined if you do-

Y/N snapped a bright smile on her face as she waved the flowers away from her face. "Honestly, Claire, it's just flowers. Don't overthink too much.

And shouldn't Jay be the one getting you flowers? I mean-"

"No!! He can't do that! That'd be too sweet of him! I mean, I would LOVE it if he did, but I'm not expecting it, and I really honestly truly just want him to like me more and so I'll give him these and-"

Y/N tuned out the rest of Claire's rambling. She really couldn't care less about Jay, Claire's latest fling, who wore a beanie over his caramel hair every time she saw him and flirted with every pretty girl. Y/N didn't like him much, but Claire was smitten at first sight. While she fantasized about professing her love to Jay, Y/N schemed for ways to avoid third-wheeling on their dates.

It wasn't that she didn't love her friend. Claire, who she met back in high school, who had her back through thick and thin. Y/N just really, really, really hated having to think about romantic relationships. She couldn't afford to be selfish and indulge in romantics while she had to solve so many other things first.

Like how she kept-

no, she'd worry about that later. For now, worry about Claire, who was definitely going to get her heart broken again.

there.

Claire scrutinized a bouquet of poppies. "How 'bout these?" She turned to Y/N and pointed out the flowers.

if fate is real, this is not funny.

Claire squealed in delight. "Those are perfect! Wait... no, Jay's a bad boy. Bad boys don't like pink.

But.... I'll buy them for you!" Claire picked up the bouquet with a flourish and presented it to Y/N. "Think of it as a sign of my friendship to you."

aww.

that's actually... really nice.

Y/N couldn't stop the small smile from blooming.

"You're smiling! Oh my gosh, this is a fullblown smile and not just those smirks!!!" Y/N was met with the huge, classic, contagious Claire smile.

"Whatever, whatever. Just pick out some flowers for Jay and let's go."

After ten minutes of walking up and down the aisles, Claire finally settled on some fancy black roses. She paid for both bouquets with a big, satisfied smile and proceeded to excitedly drag Y/N out of the shop.

"Ok, soooooo me and Jay planned to meet at that one coffee shop with the big teddy bear sign! Oh, do you remember what it was called?"

Y/N sighed. "First of all, how do you not know the name of your date location? The cafe is called The Sugar Cube. And why is there even a teddy bear at the entrance?"

"Because teddy bears are a sign of love, " Claire responded patiently.

"No they aren't."

"Yeah they are."

"No they aren't- you know what, forget it."

Y/N bit her lip anxiously as they walked toward the cafe. It just so happened that there were lots of couples in there. Lots of couples.

Did she mention she didn't like lots of couples?

"Claire, I don't feel so good," Y/N lied. "Maybe I should go home."

please please please don't let me go in there where all those happy couples are-

"You're such a liar," Claire sighed. "Honestly, I don't get it. What is it about Jay that you don't like?"

it's not Jay, really.

"Have a nice time at your date, and thanks for the flowers!" Y/N snatched the flowers from Calire's hand and walked off, flashing an apologetic smile.

Y/N really just doesn't want to throw up and ruin a bunch of dates.

"Hey! You know, I'm sick of your crabby attitude lately! You should be happy for me and Jay!" Claire shouted at Y/N's retreating figure.

i'm happy for you though. i just don't want to make you unhappy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N groaned as she collapsed onto her couch. Her comfy, comfy couch.

Why couldn't everything be this way? Comforting and understanding and accepting.

Y/N laughed at the irony of the thought. She was not comforting, not understanding, and most definitely judgemental. That was probably why she didn't have many friends. She probably ruined her friendship with Claire.

no, said the nagging voice in her head. no, you had lots of friends until he came along. until he came along and ruined everything.

He didn't ruin anything, Y/N internally argued. it was all me.

it was all me that caused me to be like this. it's my fault that i'm so lonely.

because if I had never crossed the line of friendship, maybe he would still be here.

Y/N looked for a vase to put her flowers in. She didn't own any vases, why would she? Maybe a mason jar would be enough. She grabbed the poppies and removed the bouquet wrappings.

"Poppies symbolize remembrance and sacrifice," She read aloud from the tag dangling from her hand.

so sickly ironic.

Y/N chucked the tag into the trash bin and sat back down onto the couch with a sigh. Who knew the flowers that Claire bought for her out of friendship were the same flowers that she coughed out every night.

how did this happen? Y/N chuckled bitterly. It felt like only yesterday he hugged her for the first time. Only yesterday had they watched scary movies and laughed on rollercoasters and made pancakes together. She still remembered the scent of vanilla and sea salt whenever he was around. He'd always blink those doe eyes of his and flash his bunny toothed smile whenever he wanted to get something from her.

They'd been good friends. Childhood friends. He'd always come over to her house after school to study, and wind up playing video games instead. She remembered when he got sick and couldn't come to school, so she brought all his schoolwork over to his house and talked to him while he napped. She remembered the times when he made her laugh so much she'd cried, when he'd scared off the bullies that harassed her, when he bought her flowers after she broke up with her first boyfriend. The thought made her throat tight and itchy.

How long had it been since they wrote silly songs together and drove the popular girls crazy when they hugged? How long had it been since he'd given her his sweater when she was shivering? How long had it been since she crossed that forbidden line and kissed him?

it's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.

She should've known he didn't feel that way. She should've known to ask for his permission. But she was just so pent up with emotion and caught in the moment.

No, she couldn't make excuses.

It was her fault that he distanced himself afterwards. It was her fault that their friendship broke apart.

She should've been happy when he found another girl and became happy again.

Instead, here she was, reminiscing over poppies and battling her urge to cough.

Sometimes childhood friends are just meant to be friends.

No, that feeling in her throat was worse now. The coughing was coming back. Even worse, the petals. She could feel them in her throat.

No no no no no.

Y/N barely made it to the toilet in time before she threw up. She heaved petals and petals and petals of pink poppies out of her mouth, each petal more soaked with blood than the last.

All she could hear was her ragged breathing and her beating heart. Well, and the remaining blood dripping from her lips into the toilet.

She wished she had someone holding back her hair. She wished he was holding her hair back like he did when she drank too much and had a hangover the next morning.

Just the thought of his fingers brushing her skin had her choking out more petals. Those pretty pink leaves stained with crimson blood, showering out and floating down into the toilet. How poetic.

She could only blame herself for falling in love with the person she couldn't afford to lose.

What would he say to that? But you'll always have me, he'd beam when she used to lament about another boy she ruined her chances with.

Honestly, screw you.

I love you, Jeon Jungkook.

A grim smirk formed on her face as she threw up yet again into the toilet.

[kingdoms-babygirl]

Lunar’s Eclipse

Welcome to my mind.

I am Lunar! Other wise known as KingdomsBabygirl on AO3. I am 21+ and I write NSFW Fics.

Please excuse me if I come across as rude or if I am ignoring you. Truthfully, I am an internet cryptid and try to stay offline for mental health reasons. I am always happy to interact when I am available though!

I ult TheKingDom and my biases are Louis and Hwon.

I also listen to other groups (Oneus, SKZ, Ateez, The Rose, BTS, aespa, EXO) but I ONLY WRITE for Kingdom and occasionally BTS.

Feel free to send me asks!

I love discussing headcanons, Prompts, AUs etc.

I also take Fic Requests!

Hard Pass: Piss/Scat Kink, Non-Con, Beastiality, Incest, Necrophilia, Underage, x Reader, Blood

Soft Pass: [Depends on circumstances] A/B/O, Hanahaki Disease, Hardcore BDSM,

Favorites: Soulmate AUs, Poly Kingdom, Dom/Sub dynamic, soft sensual scenes, Orgasm denial, Knife Play, Daddy/Hyung Kink, Size kink

This list is subject to change as I remember more and I am subject to reject any requests as I deem necessary.

Access my AO3 Here

That’s all for now! 💛💙

Check this posts tags to navigate my blog.

[abyssal-ali]

look at those flowers that look like you

Pairing: Jasonette

Rating: T

WC: ~2.6k

A/N: Hanahaki AU of my Reputation AU.

Includes prompts for days 8-13 (May 10, 12, and substitute quote 1 are the quotes used, and May 8, 9, 11, & 13 are the flowers used).

Title from snow flower by V of BTS (ft. Peakboy)

I've read a couple hanahaki fics but not many, and this is my first time writing one, so I hope it's okay.

Spoilers for Reputation 'Verse: It's not stated (and I haven't gotten that far in Reputation 'Verse), but Tikki is a Symbiote with Mari, and Plagg is a cat (he's sentient. I'm not saying why bc spoilers, but he can talk and judge Mari's dismal relationship status.)

Todd is Mari's nickname for Jason and he calls her Snow.

Mari is very heavily emotionally repressed from dealing with Hawkmoth (shocker, Jason is the emotionally literate one), so she acts a bit differently here.

They're in Paris, Jason is having a kind of gap year from the Bats and Mari moonlights as Noire Chance (I daren't say more lest I spoil RV.)

If you see plot holes...no you don't♡

Enjoy!

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

Noire Chance whipped through the cool air, laughter bursting from her lips as she narrowly evaded her pursuer. By using her smaller size and flexibility to her advantage, she sprung off the wall corner and doubled back, using the precious few seconds she had gained to increase the gap between her and Red Hood.

However, Hood had more mass and force behind him, causing him to catch up to her quickly, snagging a gloved hand around her waist and jerking her back to his chest as he swung them up to a taller rooftop.

“Got you, Snow.”

She pouted but didn’t pass up the chance to be trapped by his sturdy body, keeping the resistance to a minimum.

“And I believe that makes it 4:3 escapes this week, in my favour. I would like to collect my winnings in the form of a homemade meal and baking,” said Hood proudly.

She rolled her eyes but acquiesced with minimal grumbling.

They headed off in separate directions for their respective residences, patrolling over for the night.

~~~~~

Marinette had a long hot shower to unwind and relax, planning on taking the weekend off for once. The heat and steam eventually made breathing difficult, so she got out and dried off. Hopefully, she wasn’t coming down with something.

She dressed in her favourite fuzzy onesie and curled into bed with the novel Hood had recommended to her. She was halfway through and it was starting to get good.

The band around her chest eased a little bit as she relaxed and was still. She should probably get checked for asthma or sickness, but she was usually fine. It was probably just another side effect of the trauma that she preferred to ignore.

Dismissing the thought from her mind, Marinette snuggled deeper into the pillows and focused on the book.

~~~~~

“Smells good.”

Marinette whipped around, brandishing a knife threateningly at the intruder. “When will you learn to knock?!”

“When you get a better security system,” shrugged Jason. “This one is so easy to get by, I could do it in my sleep. When it actually requires effort, then I’ll consider it. I gotta keep you on your toes, though.”

“You really don’t.” Marinette gave him the cold shoulder, turning back to stirring the sauce on the stove. “I have a perfectly fine system for enemies, and I can take care of myself just fine.”

“I know you can.” There was a tell-tale crunch as Jason pilfered a handful of grapes from the rack where she was draining them and ate one. “Doesn’t hurt to be extra cautious.”

He had a point, but she wasn’t going to give in yet. They had a variation of this conversation every time he broke in came over.

Plagg wound around Jason’s feet, begging for pets, or more likely, cheese. Jason scooped the cat up and ran his fingers through Plagg’s silky fur.

“Hey, Plagg, Snow thinks you’re a good defence system. But you’re not, are you? Look at you, purring in my arms.”

“That’s because he’s smart enough to know who’s a friend and who’s foe,” Mari defended Plagg.

As they ate, Marinette noticed the familiar tightening around her chest. It felt like she swallowed too large a bite at once and got stuck in her esophagus.

Sipping her wine didn’t help dislodge the lump, and Mari realized that the lump wasn’t physically blocking her airway, though it felt like it.

She continued eating, taking smaller bites than normal just in case.

Jason stared at her. “Why are you eating so slowly? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She glared back at him. “Maybe it just seems slow because you inhaled your portion in five minutes.”

“I did not inhale it! I appreciated the effort that went into making such a delicious meal and savoured it appropriately–by eating it while it was still fresh and hot.”

The band tightened, and Mari was unable to hide the grimace she made that time.

“Okay, something is wrong. What’s up, Marinette.” All teasing had left Jason’s voice and he stared at her, trying to pick out why she was acting so oddly.

“I just feel a bit short of breath. It happens sometimes. I’m fine,” she hiccupped.

“Snow, being short of breath is not a good thing.”

“Could you stop being so overbearing?!” Marinette snapped. Surprise covered Jason’s face. She’d never yelled at him seriously before, but it didn’t sound like their joking debates now.

“Sorry.”

She looked almost as surprised as him that she’d yelled at him. “Sorry,” she muttered. “I’m just not feeling great, okay? Do you mind cutting tonight short?”

“Yeah, of course. Do you want to go to bed?”

“I’ll just go lie down. Good night, Todd.”

“I hope you feel better soon, Mari. Have a good sleep.”

She nodded and headed to her room.Jason puttered about for a few minutes, clearing the table and washing the remaining dishes, hoping Mari would emerge and tell him what was up. She never got sick, thanks to Tikki. Something was definitely off.

He knocked lightly on her door. The lights were off and he hoped she was asleep, but he didn’t want to leave without one last check.

If he didn’t, who would?

The door swung open and he saw Mari bundled in her blankets. The grey light from the rainy evening provided just enough light for him to see her shaking as if she was cold, or maybe having a nightmare.

He stepped in quietly and promptly stopped when he heard Mari whispering fiercely to herself.

“I am not going to cry. This is not worth crying about. I am not going to cry. I will not cry– dang it!”

Her hand moved, he assumed to wipe the tears away, and he approached her bed slowly.

“Snow, you know I’m always here for you, right?”

She rolled over as quickly as she could, being bundled up so much. “Jason! Why are you still here?!”

“I wanted to be sure you were actually okay before I left.”

She lifted her chin defiantly, the moonlight highlighting a tear trail silver on her cheek.

“Peachy. Thanks for your care, but I’m fine by myself. Don’t you have patrol, anyways?”

“You’re more important, Snow. Do you want to tell me why you’re crying?”

Another tear spilled over.

“No.”

Jason sat on the edge of her bed, pulling her into his arms. “I don’t care if you don’t want my help; I’m giving it to you anyways. I know how lonely it feels to cry alone.”

He held her all night as tears continually rolled down her face silently, dampening her blanket and his shirt, but he didn’t care.

Finally, she fell asleep and he tucked her into the dry half of her bed. His lips brushed her hair before he straightened and left the room.

~~~~~

Marinette stretched and slowly opened her eyes to a sunshiny room. It was nice to wake up peacefully, not from a nightmare. Little specks of dust danced in the warm beams, Plagg was purring on her feet, and–

She bounced a little in shock. Jason was facing her, soundly asleep, his arm slung over her waist, though he was on top of the duvet and she was under it.

Why was Jason sleeping on her bed? He’d never done that before.

How mortifying. Why had she cried on him all night? How uncharacteristic of her.

She should’ve just yelled at him and kicked him out, though both were even more uncharacteristic.

She didn’t even know why she was crying, which was the most frustrating. It’s easy enough to cry and excuse it when you have a reason, but crying for no reason is stupid, she told herself.

At least Jason didn’t say anything about it? If he treated her like she was irrational or weak after this, she was going to send him to the moon without a suit.

She rolled her eyes and reached down to pet Plagg.

Jason opened his eyes and smiled at her.

“Hey, Mari. Sleep well?”

His voice was deeper than usual and a bit rough, sending shivers down her spine.

Mentally slapping herself, she forced a smile and her everyday everything-is-fine voice. “Just fine. How about you? Thanks for staying, by the way.”

“I got a good sleep. Sure wasn’t from knowing this place was secure, so I wonder how that happened,” he teased.

Marinette pushed him off the bed.

“Ouch! Snow! Just for that, I’m not going to make you breakfast like I was planning.”

“Wait, no, I’m sorry!”

~~~~~

Once Jason left after breakfast Marinette headed off to shower and contemplate the meaning of life.

“Tikki, do you have any idea why this is happening?”

“I’m sorry, Marinette, but I do not at the moment.”

Partway through washing her hair, the steam got to her and she started coughing. She stumbled out of the tub to lean over the toilet, feeling something moving the wrong way up her esophagus.

She spat a small orange bud out and stared at it in confusion. A couple coughs later, four more orange-yellow blossoms joined the first.

“Tikki,” she whispered in dawning horror. “I’m coughing up flowers.”

~~~~~

Googling her symptoms was a brilliant idea, and she discovered that she had anywhere from two hours to five years left and she was likely suffering from hanahaki disease, which wasn’t well-recorded and had limited information on, both for causes and treatments/cures.*

The flowers she was coughing up were apparently butterfly weed, a cousin to milkweed, which was toxic to almost all animals except monarch butterflies. Butterfly weed, shockingly enough, attracted butterflies.

She shivered. Butterflies.

That made sense, she’d always made sure butterflies avoided her. Of course she was suffering from a disease for unknown reasons and said disease made her attract one of the things she hated the most in the world.

Possible reasons for contracting hanahaki disease included unrequited romantic feelings, unconfessed romantic feelings, or unknown romantic feelings.

Ugh, why was it always romantic feelings? One of the most conflicting emotions she never wanted to experience and wanted desperately at the same time.

She wanted to be loved completely and all-consumingly by someone who would burn the world for her, who would make her their number one priority.

She had seen the consequences of obsessive love in Hawkmoth. Look what he had done to her in the name of love. Love was dangerous. It hurt the innocent.

It was heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

~~~~~

Marinette sat down straight on her couch, journal cracked open to a fresh page and pen in hand. What I could have hanahaki about: was scrawled across the top line.

Ten minutes later she tossed them onto the floor in frustration.

“How am I supposed to know what I’m feeling?! They’re all jumbled together and I don’t particularly feel inclined to untangle them!”

Another hacking cough started and a small cluster of butterfly weed stained red came up. With a tired sigh, she wiped her mouth and picked up the journal and pen.

~~~~~

“‘Feeling better?’ No, I’m coughing up literal bloody flowers because I’m too emotionally repressed to know why!” she hissed at her phone in response to Jason’s text.

“Have a diagnosis. I’ll be fine in a couple days,” she replied.

Jason showed up at her door the next night.

She opened it and was promptly greeted with a bouquet of flowers. “You knocked,” she said, stunned by the bouquet.

Jason shrugged. “Didn’t want to drop the vase.”

“Thank you…but what is this for?”

He shrugged again. “Just because. You know that book I was reading about flowers? It just made me think of you and so I got them. I bet Tikki will love them.”

“Probably. Thanks, Todd.” She placed the vase on the coffee table, identifying the blossoms as yellow and white lilies, pink and red roses, and smaller filler buds with pink lilies-of-the-valley and baby’s breath. She remembered what most of them meant from one of Jason’s rants–

The now-familiar urge to cough up a branch of flowers overtook her and she headed swiftly to the bathroom to do so in peace.

“You okay, Mari? Seriously? ‘Cause that sounds…bad,” called Jason.

“Yep, just some stuff. It sounds worse than it is,” she called back.

She swung the door open and raised a brow at him standing right outside.

“I’m fine; drop it.”

He eyed her but gave in and bowed after her, following her to the couch, where she’d been watching a Chinese drama.

Halfway through an episode, he shifted to see her better. “Do you have hanahaki?”

Her head whipped around to look at him. “What?”

“Do you have hanahaki?” he repeated. “You’re coughing up bloody something, which looks like flowers, you’re being more standoffish than usual, and you’re emotionally traumatized, which would make sense why you caught it.”

“Ugh, can I have no secrets from you?!” she threw her hands up in exasperation. “Fine, I have hanahaki! I’m working on processing my emotions or whatever so I can know why I have it, okay? I’m taking care of it.”

“You know a faster way to resolve it?”

“What?”

With that tone of voice, he was either teasing or going to say something she wasn’t going to like.

“Acknowledging your feelings and confessing them.”

Oh, it was both. Yay.

“Right, well, I don’t know what I’m feeling, never mind for who.” She leaned menacingly into his personal space.

He kissed the tip of her nose. She sat back an inch and blinked.

“What was that for?”

He sometimes did it when they hadn’t seen each other in a while, one of their old traditions that he still kept. She returned it only when he was sick, injured, or feeling sad.

“Just because. And now you’re not in my face and I won’t go cross-eyed anymore,” he grinned. “Look, you hang out with how many people you could have feelings for?”

“...”

“I’m your only friend that you regularly hang out with, Snow.”

“So…I have feelings for you?”

“Do you?” he asked softly. “What comes to mind when you think about me?”

“Safe, fun, affection…”

She paused, then vaulted over the back of the sofa and ran to her room. “Tikki, do I like Jason?!”

“I think you view him as more than a friend.”

“I like Jason?

“I like Jason.

“I love Jason?

“I love Jason. How- That is literally so obvious…I love Jason.”

Marinette shuffled out of her room a few minutes later, facing him sheepishly. “It has come to my attention that I have romantic feelings for you.”

He smiled, the happiest one she’d seen on him in ages. “I have romantic feelings for you, too.”

“I was starting to get the idea,” she laughed, nodding at the vase a couple feet away.

"Finally."

Jason’s hands cupped her face. “Is your nose glowing a side effect of hanahaki or something?”

“Not as far as I know…” She pulled her phone out and stared at the screen. Her nose was faintly glowing.

“It’s not just the sunlight, right?”

Jason shook his head. “Is–I think it’s a soulmate mark.”**

“What?”

Tiny gold freckles dotted her nose and forehead, the largest one being on the tip of her nose, where he usually kissed her.

“We’re soulmates?”

Marinette looked at Jason in shock.

“I have a soulmate?” he muttered.

“I’m so glad it’s you!” Mari launched herself into his arms, squeezing as tightly as she could. “I secretly imagined you as my soulmate when we were younger, you know.”

“I did too!”

They laughed together, overflowing with joy at the revelations of the afternoon.

Link to inspo pic of bouquet Jason gifts Mari:

https://i1.wp.com/the-little-flowershop.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/RED-ROSE-PINK-LILY-FLOWER-BOUQUET-THE-LITTLE-FLOWER-SHOP-FLORIST-LONDON-UK-DELIVERY-e1554746538624.jpg?fit=822%2C1056&ssl=1

*Hanahaki Disease isn't very common in this world because it's caused by unacknowledged romantic feelings (unacknowledged by the owner of said feelings). It doesn't show up very often, as most people come to realize they have feelings for another person before the hanahaki sets in (too badly). However, as Marinette is very much in *suppress* and *act fine* mode, she has no idea what she feels about Jason, etc.

Jason, my poor boy, has been trying to drop hints to Marinette that he sees her as more than a friend/vigilante partner for a while now, but Mari is heavily in *denial* and *don't get your hopes up about someone liking you*. The book about flowers Jason was reading was about the symbolism/flower language. Yes, he told Mari all about it and she ignored all the random flowers he'd previously given her.

**Soulmate bonds are rare (1.5% population), and show up as gold marks where the soulmates touch skin-to-skin the most. Mari and Jason aren't super touchy, and are usually mostly covered up, so it's taken a while for their bond to show up.

Maribat Taglist (open): @the-coffee-fandom, @questioning-blob-of-fog, @jennifer-rose123

[reikives]

July BTS Fic Recommendations

note from sunie:

For my first few lists I will be posting, it wont really be just for the current month but a few are also some of my favorites from a few years back that I really want to share!

I also want to say thank you, to all the authors who have put in hard work to create these pieces of literature for us to enjoy!

I hope everyone enjoys them as much as I did! You can also send in recommendations in my asks which will always be open! I will try my hardest to keep up!

🌸- fluff 🥀-angst 🌹-mature/suggestive

📖-drabbles/oneshots

📚- series 📝- ongoing ✔️-completed

Yoongi

📖>Kale’in Me Softly (@jimlingss)

Farmer!Yoongi, strangers to lovers 🌸, 🥀(has a little sting), 🌹(mature scene) Word count: 17.1k Summary: After your grandfather's passing, you decide to take over his farm and plant the trendiest vegetable: kale. It's a struggle to be in the countryside when you've always been a city girl. But there's someone less than sympathetic — a grumpy farmer across the acres who's constantly trying to pick a fight with you. Warning/s: Strongly implied smut

—I love their style of writing! I think this fic was v cute and the heat in that one scene was a great sprinkle🤭 Its a great read and I highly recommend!

📖>Bloom (@guksthighs)

hanahaki au, best friends to lovers 🥀,🌸 Word count: 1.7k Summary: When you fall in love with your best friend, flowers begin to bloom. Hanahaki disease - an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals. Warning/s: its kind of a tear-jerker but not to worry, its ONLY a tear-jerker there will be knowing flowing of tears (hopefully) <3

—This is actually a read from a few years back that I still come back to once in awhile. I have kept in my notes to remember! I absolutely love guksthigh's works and I think they're beautifully written!

📖>VALUABLES (@drowsymochi)

Established relationship 🌸 Word Count: 306 Summary: “they don’t mean anything to me.” Warning/s: teeth-rotting fluff, Yoongi is so sweet I might consider it an angst from how he makes me cry bc he.

—super cute quick read omg, I abs loved it, makes me want to have an s/o..

Namjoon:

📖>Who are you? (@ausblack)

Hybrid!Namjoon x Hybrid!reader 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 3.4k Summary: A mysterious hybrid that reeks of suppressants catches Namjoon, the wolf hybrid. He's determined to find out what you are. Warning/s: mentions of drinking and smoking, insecurities

—I love this so much! Made me feel a bit fuzzy from how cute this is. Ausblack has been one of my favorite readers when I first got into tumblr a few years back! I recommend their works!

📖>Cut (@chimchimsauce)

Soulmate au, College au 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 1.1k Summary: Namjoon always hated soulmates Warning/s: implied sex and of drinking/smoking (?)

—I love soulmate aus and I absolutely love quick angst reads! Its so good and I come back to it from time to time! I recommend it to all esp if you love quick reads!

Jimin:

📖>Adonis (@xjoonchildx)

Paramedic!Jimin x reader 🌸, a little comedy Word count: 3.4k Summary: your crackpot of a neighbor will not rest until you throw yourself at the gorgeous paramedic in town. she’s nuts, y'all. Warning/s: smoking, sexual innuendo, implied smut

—Very cute and funny fic to read, it was written nicely! I recommend to those who would enjoy a little comedy when they read.

Taehyung:

📚✔️>Camellia (@kinktae)

Prince!Taehyung x Herbalist!reader 🌸, 🥀(if you squint), 🌹(mature) 2/2 Summary: Prince Taehyung comes to find out that the castle has got a new tea girl, and man is she cute. Warning/s: insecurities, smut in 2nd chapter

—I read this a few years back and I still come back to it once in awhile because its well written and I just love the story. This actually got me to love royalty / prince/princess aus and its so cute it hurts.. Super great read! I very much recommend 🥰

📖>Playful (@chimyoung)

Owner!Taehyung x Hybrid!reader 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 3.6k Summary: A mischievous and energetic fox hybird causes an accident in the living room that sets off her boyfriend. Warning/s: lil bit of angst, swearing, couples arguing, Taehyung is a meanie, mentions of blood/injuries, nothing too graphic, there’s a mean guy in a park, that’s about it.

—Ahh its a cute readdd. It has some angst that stings but the fluff balances it out in the end. I've also read a few other of their works that I think that's worth checking out!

Jungkook:

📖>in which you always come home to Jungkook. (@onlyswan)

Established relationship 🌸, lowkey 🥀, 🌹(suggestive) Word count: 3.7k Warning/s: mention of the word whore, boner, showering together

—Its a perfect mix of everything! I've always loved her works and this never disappoints. Its a sweet read if you just want something chill (in my opinion). Highly recommend their work 🥰

📖>Still With Me? (@magicalmarauder)

Boxer!Jungkook, established relationship 🌸, 🥀 (it stings a bit..) Word count: 4k+ Summary: Dating the world’s fastest growing boxer meant several things – kissing his wounds at the end of every fight, watching countless boxing matches to study new techniques with him, and worrying like crazy as different men every night tried to bash his face in. But what happens when tensions run high after a match and Jungkook throws your support back in your face? Warning/s: definitely violence bc boxing, mentions of bruises/wounds, koo was an ass for like 5 seconds

—I am a sucker for anything boxer Jungkook so 😝😝 It stings in a few parts of the story but there is some fluff that act as a band aid do not panic 🙅‍♀️ Nicely written, I love it so much I've actually read it a few time hehe ❤️❤️

📚📝>Quarters (@justoneday-namjoonii)

Boxer!Jungkook x IceSkater!reader 🌸, 🥀 9/? Summary: A look into the dysfunctional relationship of Jungkook, an aspiring boxer, and an aspiring Ice Skater. Warning/s: mentions of abuse, dysfunctional relationship, angst might be triggering to some

—Another boxer!jungkook because I am abs inlove with boxer koo. This is a nice read if you're in angst w just a sprinkle of fluff or like fics w a rollercoaster of emotions!

📖>The Habits of a Broken Heart. (@softykooky)

Soulmate au, subtle enemies to lovers, slow burn, art student!Jungkook x english student!reader 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 26.3k Summary: Jungkook and you are soulmates. so says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. however, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.

alternatively,

“You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.” Warning/s: jealousy, unrequited love, shouting (?(please bear with me i dont really knw what to put in warnings yet 💀))

—I think I've read this about 5 times already ahhh.. Its so goooooddd, the angst really hits you.. it made me cry every time but the ending makes up for it. I love how well written this is, its a lovely fic to read 💗💗💗

📖>How Long Will We Fall (@jiminrings)

Soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love (at first) 🌸, 🥀 Word count: 14k Summary: If it’s fate, it should already be set onto your skin — that’s why Jungkook’s initials are already on your finger. he’s always there for you, but not only for you. if you’re his fate, he’d rather not have it. alternatively,

Jungkook’s your soulmate, but he doesn’t want to be.

—Another angst soulmate au bc I love hurting myself hehe, I love how this was written, I love the character development, I love the angst, I love this..

Poly/OT7

📚✔️>Hybrid House (@hollyhomburg)

Hybrid!BTS x Hybrid!reader 🌸, 🥀, 🌹 (mature) 3/3 + Epilogue Summary: to Seokjin, Home consists of his human partners Namjoon and Hoseok as well as their Hybrids; the pups- named Taehyung and Jimin, their black cat- called Yoongi, and their foxboy- called Jungkook. Together they have the happiest family possible, everyone loves everyone equally. 

So what happens when Namjoon finds you? a cat hybrid, beaten close to death left alone in an alleyway on the coldest night of the year? He takes you home, shows you his family, and together they teach you what love can be like. Warning/s: mentions of blood/injuries, abuse, heavy smut scenes, Jungkook being mean for a bit

—I have been a fan of their work for a long time already and I think this is among one of my favorite works of theirs. Its's very well written and I recommend this to those who have hybrid aus up their allies. Great author, great work ❤️

📖>Sugary Sweet (@hollyhomburg)

Hybrid! Reader x Hybrid! Taehyung x Hybrid! Yoongi x Owner! Namjoon 🌸, 🥀 Word Count: 10k Summary: Namjoon has a perfect life once he moves out of the city to a cabin alongside his two rescue hybrids, Yoongi and Taehyung. But then one night in the middle of the rainstorm they find you, a bunny hybrid, hiding in their chicken coop.   Warning/s: Anxiety attacks, Anxious! Namjoon, mentions of hybrid abandonment, hybrid mistreatment, Half of this is Domestic fluff, possessive behavior. 

—Another great hybrid read from hollyhomburg!! Very cute and has some angst to spice it up, it pulls on the heartstrings just right❤️❤️ I actually have read this a few times, I'm one to come back to something if I really enjoy it. So again, amazing work, this is actually my favorite from them ❤️

📚📝>Cry Me A River (@minniepetals)

Mafia!au, arrange marriage!au 🌸, 🥀 13/? Summary: Forever is just an illusion, nothing lasts forever. Don't make me a promise that you cannot keep. Please... it'll break my heart. Warning/s: (triggering topics! please read at your own discretion) childhood trauma, mental abuse, physical abuse, child neglect, manipulation, gaslighting, violence, mentions of assault, implied sexual assault, hurt and comfort, divorce, emotional neglect, minor character deaths, kidnapping, some emotionally unstable scenes.

—AN ALL TIME FAVORITE OF MINE. First, I abs love mafia aus and I love angst. CMAR was written beautifully,,, perfectly. It has me crying and screaming all over the place. You can feel the emotions as you read this series, that why I love it so much. It's so angsty I love it. Minnie does a great job in writing this that I always earn for more every other chapter, IM COMPLETELY HOOKED. The attention to detail is just amazing and she also listens to the readers, I love her sm.. Great read, I absolutely recommend cmar.

—If anyone has noticed, there are no Jin and Hobi fics on my recs as of the moment, its because I have yet to find jin and hobi fics that suit taste! Please do recommend some fics and authors in my asks if you have any recommendations! I will be reading them when I have time!

I will try to post recs weekly if I am not busy. Maybe I'll just post when I can and then have my monthly recs!

[btssmutficslovingfan01]

Last Winter

⇢ Summary: 𝚈𝚘𝚞  𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒���� 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎  𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑  𝚊  𝚋𝚘𝚢  𝚠𝚑𝚘  𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛  𝚘𝚗𝚎-𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍  𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢  𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚜  𝚢𝚘𝚞.   (𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚒 𝚊𝚞)

⇢ Words:  𝟹𝚔

⇢ Genre: 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝

⇢ Pairing: 𝙷𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚔 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛, (𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚃𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

                                        ________________

“I love his hair, I love his smile, I love his lips.” You smiled as you stared off into the distance, your best friend frowning as you confessed your feelings about Hoseok to him.

“You’re digging yourself a deeper hole here, you know?” Says Taehyung, as you shrank into his shoulder.

“I can’t tell him. I’m too embarrassed. We’ve been friends for three years, he’s going to think I’m pathetic.” You were insecure about your feelings as from past bad experiences, your relationships have never ended well. Hoseok is just another disappointment waiting to happen. Your crush on him will eventually fizzle out and you’ll just move forward with your life. At least that’s what you wished would happen.

“Did you just figure out your feelings for him?” 

“Yes…” You lied. You’ve been in love with him pretty much since you met him, after he offered you a glass ornament two christmases ago. His warm heart-shaped smile melted your heart in a way that no other man could. You slowly began to fall for his charm, not realizing the dire consequences it had on your very life.

“Y/N, what to do with you? You fell for a man who just sees everyone as a friend. On top of that, you’ve been hiding this for years.” Taehyung points it out to you, only in a way that convinced you of the painful reminder that you’re less likely to get with your long-term crush because you’ve been stuck in the friendzone longer than ever. Again, he was right. There was no point in crying over spilt milk now.

“I don’t know, okay? Every time I try to tell him about my feelings, he just seems to run away.” You explain, frowning as Taehyung pulls you in for a hug.

“I’m sorry.” You wiped your nose on your sleeve, settling into the hug by placing your head on his chest. He reminded you of an older brother, with how he took care of you whenever you felt sick, or even stayed the night when you had a bad dream. Taehyung was like your guardian, despite your parents being alive and well. Too bad that they only cared about you for your money. You met Taehyung when you were a junior in college, and you became fast friends after that.

He would occasionally buy you food and get you milk if you ran out of any. You were dead broke before you landed your first job, luckily you kept treating him to lunch and you decided to make it tradition. He was your best friend. Then as fate would have it, you met Hoseok just as you graduated. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. You went out for food often and you worked at the same company, Hoseok was one of your managers. For your first project together, he complimented you and made you feel loved.

He was like your home. That all came to pass when he introduced his girlfriend, Miyorin, of course. You never had anything against her, she managed to capture Hoseok’s heart and with that she won. You dropped it, giving up before you even started. It didn’t help that your silly little crush on him never truly went away.

You couldn’t tell if this was a crush or just love. If it’s longer than two months, it has to be that, right? You spent a lot of time with Hoseok, naturally it was bound to happen. You supposed it was all your fault, though. He was never fated to be with you. Maybe there was no path at all. He just seemed to show up at the right time. Maybe your heart just wanted to love. You had everything you could possibly want in life and now you’re just missing romance. You figured it would go away but the pain just stayed, growing inside of you like an unwanted weed in your body.

You didn’t notice the symptoms at first. It was just a tickle in the back of your throat, a tiny cough. Hoseok noticed, telling you to take care of yourself and patting your head. The worst part is, he had broken up with Miyorin and he had been single for the last two years but he just didn’t seem to see you in any other light. You did notice after he put his hand on your forehead to take your temperature, you felt a scorching heat in your throat. It was searing, painful. It only seemingly calmed down after he stopped touching your skin directly.

“You look a little hot. Just be careful.” He walked away before you could say anything, but you didn’t want to say anything. Your throat was stinging too much. You decided you worked a little too hard and decided to take a break at home. 

“Ouch,” You looked at your neck in the mirror after stripping, looking at all the marks across your body. Your neck looked burnt, like you spilt hot water over your skin and it seared inside out. “What the hell?” You ran your finger down your neck, before violently throwing your head forward in a whooping cough. “Taehyung, I need to call him.” You grab your phone off the sink to dial Taehyung’s number.

“Y/N, what’s up?”

“Need….help,” You coughed loudly in between words as you could practically visualize Taehyung’s pupils shrinking out of concern on the other end of the phone. He hung up first as you clutched your stomach, falling back down on the ground to catch your breath. Just as quickly as the pain increased, it subsided, wrapped in an unconventional stillness that you could only describe as the quiet before the storm.

Taehyung knocked on the door, helping you up as you let him into the bathroom. He was quiet the entire time, unexpectedly enough, as you thought he would bombard you with questions as soon as he saw you. He seemed to catch on, but you could tell that he wanted to say more.

“I think I should visit a doctor. If I have to go through that again alone, I don’t think I’ll be able to sit up straight ever again.” Taehyung rubbed your back lightly as you sipped some of the water he got for you earlier.

“Okay, well, call me if you need anything. Let me know what the doctor says. I have to go now.” You didn’t know why your heart clenched just a little as he picked up his jacket and prepared to leave. Did you want him to stay? He’s here now, isn’t that enough?

“Thanks for putting up with me for so long.” You told your best friend with a small grimace tugging on your lips.

“No problem, if it’s you I’d do anything.” You smiled before settling back into bed, catching up on some well-needed rest.

The next day, you noticed you barely had any symptoms. The mysterious illness seemed to have left you for the time being, strangely after you found out that Hoseok would be missing work for personal reasons. Apparently one of his family members fell sick so he had to drive home. You felt more energized, completing two days worth of work in one, more productive than you had been in a while.

The day after, it was the same. You came in to work, finished more than needed, and then you went home, no coughing or medical attention needed. It was a rinse and repeat of this for four days before anything changed.

Then, he appeared on your doorstep.

“Can I stay with you tonight? I know it’s a strange request but my parents fell sick and my sister had to go to sleep early and my house is too far away,” You didn’t have to hear much of an explanation as you let him in almost immediately. You thought it was silly, being happy and healthy while Hoseok seemed to be struggling emotionally at the moment. You did, however, notice that the tickle in your throat was back and you were coughing in between preparing dinner. “Did you redecorate? The place looks fantastic.” 

You forgot that you had thrown out all of your old shit after you got into a bad fight with your parents. You burned everything they bought for you and bought yourself things you actually liked. For you, material objects had no value. You only cared about money that you could use for later and the relationships you build with people. Hoseok was important to you, so you would rather share your food with him than anyone else. And Taehyung, but he always had a cup of pudding on him.

“Yeah. Sorry for not inviting you sooner, I’ve been busy.” You said, grabbing the plates and setting the table before grabbing a tissue and wiping your nose. You felt your ears pop but there was something horribly wrong happening to your body. You felt a pit in your stomach, like something was there. Could you be pregnant?

“Oh, with the boyfriend?” You coughed violently, rocking forward as you pulled out another tissue to cover your mouth with as Hoseok gave you a small smile. 

“Boyfriend? Oh no, I don’t have one.” Was this why he never approached you romantically? Because he thought you were dating someone else?

“What? I can’t believe that. You seem like such wife material. You know what, if I can’t find a girl that I want to marry, I just might ask you to marry me instead,” He only meant to jest, you knew. But, your coughing only worsened as Hoseok watched you with worry, reaching out and grabbing your hand out of concern. “Y/N, are you okay?” You coughed louder, unable to speak as you held the tissue up against your lips and you yanked your hand out of Hoseok’s as you felt feverishly warm from his touch. 

“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” You ran off, washing your hands and rinsing with warm water as you noticed something strange. There was a single yellow flower petal in the middle of your tongue. “What the fuck?” 

You quickly spit out the petal and instead of avoiding it like a regular idiot protagonist, you put it in an empty container in your bathroom. You’ll have to take this with you when you go to the doctor’s.

“I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I said something to make you upset.” His gaze was so sincere, it made your heart skip a few beats. He was a beautiful human being, and him being before you now reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place.

“No, you’re fine, Hopie. I just feel a little sick.” You forced a smile, handing him a blanket and an extra pillow as he was planning to sleep on the couch. You only had one bedroom so the two of you cramming in there together was out of the question. There was no way he would agree to that, anyways. Sleeping with him when you were just friends is a bad idea.

“I hope you feel better soon. Drink some warm tea, okay? And if it’s too hot don’t drink it. Bring it to me so I can blow on it for you.” You felt your cheeks heat up and another coughing fit coming on. You retreated to the bedroom after giving him a quiet, “Okay,” and closing the door as you coughed some more. This time, not a single flower petal came up.

Hoseok has been grateful to you ever since that day. You spent all day at the office working hard and coughing during bathroom breaks. Hoseok even lent you some cough medicine as you started wearing a mask in the building. You accepted it graciously, getting teased by your coworkers that he had a crush on you. 

Actually, you found it hard to believe that he liked you back. You wouldn’t believe it unless he said it himself.

When you went to the doctor’s, you expected a regular diagnosis like asthma or bronchitis. Then you found out you had the Hanahaki Disease, which meant you had a flowering plant of unrequited love growing in your lungs, causing you to cough up flower petals from his birth flower. You knew it was about Hoseok as the Buttercup is his birth flower. 

There went your hopes of him returning your feelings because he was the last person that would say the words—

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.” 

The man who said those words was the one man you didn’t think of anything as more than a brother. Taehyung.

“Tae, I—”

“Shhhh, don’t speak. I know you’re in pain right now, because of him.”

“It’s been a month, Taehyung, besides, I’m not dying.” You were weak now, your dry coughs now consisting of flower petals rather than droplets. You could only drink water and eat soft foods. Within a month, your condition worsened.

“Yet. You’re not dying yet. But you’re dying, Y/N. If you can’t make Hoseok like you back then like me at least! I don’t want you to die,” He fell to his knees with a thud on the floor. “I don’t want you to die.” 

He rested his head on your lap as you raked your fingers through his soft brown tufts of hair. He was scared. You were scared too, but much more composed. Maybe you accepted that you would die with these feelings.

“I know you love me. I love you too, but I just can’t return those feelings for you now.” You wished you could have had a life where you fell for Taehyung instead of Hoseok, all those seemingly insignificant moments turning into pillars for your beautiful love story. He could have taken care of you, helped you recover. Hell, Taehyung is ultimate husband material and yet you still don’t feel anything for him.

“I’ll help you pursue him, please. I don’t want you to leave me!” He sobbed as you simply smiled, looking at the door as you waited for Hoseok to arrive.

“He’s asleep?” Hoseok asked as you pushed a finger to your lips, nodding as he closed the door behind him. “I can’t believe you got hospitalized. I knew something was off when my favorite mentee went missing in the middle of a project.” You let your gaze fall to your lap as Hoseok pulled a chair up next to you, examining you closely.

“You’ve lost your complexion. Your face looks more yellow than before. Are you okay?” You shake your head.

“The truth is, I’m dying. I have Hanahaki Disease.” You gestured to all of the buttercup petals lying around your bed, seemingly losing their freshness within the matter of minutes. They were wilted, crumpling up and drying out faster by the moment. You knew that having Hoseok here was dangerous for your health but it’s not like that’s going to change how you feel now. You’ve liked him this long, after all. 

“Hanahaki? I’ve never heard of it,” You started coughing again, this time was worse than anything you’d ever felt before. Your coughs wouldn’t stop, you were on the brink of tears, bile rising up in the back of your throat as you coughed up saliva and more flower petals. “You’re coughing up flower petals?”

“Buttercups.” Hoseok suddenly stood up after coming to the realization of what was happening. You could only sit and wait, as he processed everything at once.

“That’s funny, the buttercup is my birth flower,” A penny dropped outside. “I did this to you?” He covered his mouth, sobbing silently as you nodded and felt the roots only sinking deeper into your lungs. He’s such a good guy, why did he have to have so much compassion for others? 

“I’m so sorry,” He held your hand, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m gonna kill you!!!!” Taehyung lunged forward, waking you and Hoseok during his enraged outburst.

“Taehyung, stop!” Your throat was more sore than you thought, immediate regret welling up inside of you as you tried prying Tae’s hands off Hoseok’s neck.

“I’m okay. I deserve it though, it’s my fault!”

“How could you be so blind? You’re the one that didn’t realize she was in love with you, you idiot!” Taehyung told him off, not realizing that you told Hoseok already. “I’m sorr—”

“Water, I need—” You croaked as Hoseok quickly poured some in a glass for you. “Thanks,” You finished guzzling it down, feeling slightly better after getting hydrated. “Hoseok knows I have Hanahaki. He also knows that he’s the cause of my illness.”

“Oh.” Tae dropped back down on his chair as you sat in silence, staring straight ahead.

“At least now I can die in peace knowing that I’ve said everything I wanted.” You close your eyes as Hoseok’s filled with tears.

“Don’t say that. I don’t want you going anywhere, you’re too young to go to Heaven. Don’t leave me, don’t leave us, please.” Your heart slowed, you knew he was just coping and realistically you wouldn’t recover. The roots were too deep in your tissues by now. And when they reach the point you’re at now, it becomes impossible to surgically remove them.

“I wish things could have gone differently.” You said, coughing slightly as you were struggling to breathe. 

At the rate the disease was deteriorating your body, you barely had a week left. It was late December, almost Christmas. Taehyung’s birthday was in a few days but you knew your death was going to ruin it forever. 

“Thanks for taking care of me, both of you.” You genuinely smiled, unlike you had in a while. It feels like forever since you could do that. 

“I’ll miss you Y/N. You’re my best friend, and the kindest person I’ve ever met.” Taehyung kisses your forehead as you smile at him.

“Thanks for loving me. I didn’t think anyone could love me in that way. Despite being in pain, you were there for me. Thanks for being my anchor. Always.” You thought he was going to kiss your cheek, or your forehead by how he was leaning in. Hoseok was perfect.

Instead, he met your lips with his. 

You could hear the heartbeat monitor rapidly beep before your last moments on Earth ended. The flatline hit your ears first before your heart stopped.

[luvinseokjinnie]

Kim Taehyung Fic Recs

☾ -ANGST || ❅- SMUT || ✼ -CRACK/HUMOR || ❀ -FLUFF || ♛ - ACTION/SUSPENSE || ♪ - SUPERNATURAL/SCI-FI

-Fic Recs Main List-  

-Navigation-

One shots

Strings attached ☾ || kth x reader || @bangtiddies ||

Sypnosis: What started off as a favour is now wearing away your heart.

Paper Cranes ☾❀❅ || kth x reader || @aquaminwrites ||

Sypnosis:  It is said that if someone folds 1000 paper cranes, they will receive one wish. Kim Taehyung has been folding you paper cranes since he was six years old. He won’t tell you what he’s going to wish for once he reaches his goal, but even into your twenties, all you know is that he’s been wishing for the same thing every time.

Reasons to say I love you ☾❀ || kth x reader x jjk || @onherwings ||

Sypnosis: Kim Taehyung knew he loved you from the start. But the question is, does he ever tell you?

Plan V ☾❅ || kth x reader || @taesbetch ||

Sypnosis: When y/n can’t seem to find love she turns to her playboy best friend to help her find someone to lose her virginity too. However, fate has other plans 

With love ☾ || kth x reader || @rosaetae ||

Sypnosis: You were only 15 when you were diagnosed with cancer and met your best friend. He promised to stay by your side. You were 15 when you started gaining feelings. You were 15 when you started writing letters. You accepted the fact that you were going to die. You were only 18 when you were ready to leave.

Partners in crime ☾♛|| kth x reader || @allmysticwords ||

Sypnosis: A realization of love at the worst possible time. 

White lies ☾ || kth x reader || @yoonia || [personal fav] 

Amour flou ❀❅|| kth x reader || part of collide || @bloomsuga ||

Sypnosis: can be read as stand-alone or part of collide sm au

So let them bloom ☾|| pjm x reader x kth || hanahaki au || @ggukstummy ||

Sypnosis: Jimin is assigned to watch over (Y/n), a human who is doomed to die, for she loves a man who could never love her back. taehyung is the man behind the flowers blooming in her lungs, will they end up together, or will fate’s cruel hands take her away?

Choking ☾||ksj x reader x kth || hanahaki au || @idroppedthesope ||

Sypnosis: kneeled over in front of the toilet, blue daffodils spilling from your lips and mixing with your tears, you’re sure of one thing: kim taehyung, your best friend, doesn’t love you back. it’s your deepest fear that someone will find out, and when kim seokjin does just that, you quickly learn he might be the one that leads you to recovery.

Series

The crysanthemum effect ☾❀|| kth x reader || hanahaki au || @rosastae ||

Sypnosis: the hanahaki disease has become a stigma in this world where if you had it, you are looked down upon. her flowers were white chrysanthemums and they have been for the past two years. she was in love with someone who obviously didn’t feel the same way, and this was her way of moving on— along with the people in her life who had to conform around the hanahaki disease.

 The Bet ❀✼ || kth x reader || college au || @youremeimyou ||

Sypnosis: Taehyung and Y/N have managed to form a strong bond over their years of college. According to their friends, the chemistry between the two is undeniable. But the duo would rather not risk the close friendship. The very friendship that’ll be put to test by the boldest of bets, it seems.

Lavender + Vanilla ☾ || kth x reader || @rosastae ||

Sypnosis: a story about a boy who had forgotten his memory of you

Champagne Popsicle ❅❀ || kth x reader || Bottoms up Series by @gguksgalaxy ||

Sypnosis: You’re not a fan of social gatherings, especially not the ones where you have to show up in a stupid dress that you didn’t pick while it’s a 100 degrees outside. However, a handsome stranger with a popsicle that matches his pink hair might be able to turn your frown upside down.

It’s you  ☾ ❀ || kth x reader || hanahaki au || @itsamejin​ ||

Sypnosis: You’d rather live with thorns endlessly scratching the back of your throat than be devoid of the light that Taehyung brought into your life. Even if your love for him was slowly killing you, you didn’t mind as long as you could keep the warmth of his presence until the very end.

Social media AU

Collide ❀✼|| kth x reader || actor au || @bloomsuga ||

Sypnosis: your life had always been so wonderfully ordinary. or at least, it was—until the day you accidentally bumped into him and ended up with the wrong cellphone and a one-way ticket to a groupchat full of unusual characters…

Under a shadow ☾❀ || model!kth x reader || @firebettercallnct ||

Sypnosis: Yn has a model sister and she’s been living under her shadow her whole life. Everyone knows her as “Aecha’s sister” and that is IF they even know her. Every boy she liked fell for her sister including this one. Until Taehyung comes around and helps her grab Jungkook’s attention. But while doing that, Yn has already caught his.

Reply back to me ❀✼|| idol!kth x reader || @diorjeons ||

Sypnosis: Taehyung thought it’d be hilarious to send a text as a prank to one of his friends. Little did he know he was actually texting a random number, you. Turns out you’re a fan of bts but have no idea that the number that texted you at 3 am was V himself.

[jadzidraws]

Cannibalism as a Metaphor for Love                                  

Fanfiction tags cards serie

Spooky season is here, and it need to welcomed with the good old horror tags.

This is an ongoing serie, follow the links under the cut for the others cards already published:

Coffe shop AU , Hanahaki disease , OMG they were roomates , Fairy tale AU , Text message fic , Everyone is gay , Flower shop AU , Red string of fate AU , Harry Potter AU , Umbrella sharing , There was only one bed , And they were quarantined , Citrus Scale , Draco in leather pants , Soulmark ,  Body Swap , No Rim job , Slash ,  Time Travel , Flower shop and tatto parlor , Slowburn , Enemies to Lovers/Lovers to enemies , Zuko is an awkward turtleduck , Bet on it , Warewolf and vampire  ,  Book store AU , I think that went pretty well , Pon Farr , Height difference , Dead Dove Do Not Eat ,  Omegaverse , Kindergarden teacher and single parent , Canon what canon , Pining , Amnesia   , Mpreg , Fpreg , Superpower au ,  Fake Dating (but not really) , Ballet AU

 Public Proposal , Egg Preg , Oh. Oh in italic. , Incense burner , Crying in the bathroom , Shower sex , I wanted to cry in the bathroom, bt you were already occupying the bathub

[koolaxies]

Blue side

Jung Hoseok x Reader (ft Jungkook)

Hanahaki Disease! Au

“Inside my blue dream I want to contain you even if you say we can’t.”

His laugh filled the room and you smiled as he lost himself in his laughter. It was a sound you had grown to adore the most, almost as much as you adored hearing him perform or him telling you he had a free day and he would like it if he could spend it with you. Your heart hurt. You loved him- god did you love him- you weren't supposed to. You weren't supposed to fall in love with the way his eyes form crescents when he smiles or how his dimples become more prominent when he eats. Or how he gets so lost in his dance when he performs, and he becomes one with the music. You weren't supposed to fall in love with the stupid little things about him. Weren't supposed to long for him whenever you weren't intertwined between his arms. You knew you weren't supposed to, yet you still did. You allowed yourself to believe that him letting you sleep beside him after every night you would meet up meant something, that his “have you eaten?” or “how’s your day going?” messages meant more than what they implied.

You didn’t want to admit it. You didn’t want to admit how much you ached to be around him all the time, or how you cared about him so deeply you’d drop everything you were doing for him. Tonight, was one of those nights where you dropped everything in your life to exist besides him for a couple hours. The boxes of takeout sat on top of your clothes that littered the floor, you were watching god knows what movie he had chosen, his head laid on your lap as you played with his hair.

You looked at him and you suddenly felt a pain in your chest. You weren’t sick. You hadn’t been sick in months so why did it feel like you had a ton of bricks weighing you down that you couldn’t breathe. The more you looked at him the more the pain in your chest started to become unbearable. He turned to look up at you; his smile ever so bright as always and his eyes creased as his expression turned from one of relaxation to one of concern. “Y/n are you okay?” he asked as you felt the pain scratch away at your body. You nodded your head ‘yes’ in hopes it was nothing, that you could ignore it because it couldn’t be more than an uncomfortable tickle at the back of your throat. He slowly sat up and patted your shoulder, the smile he was giving you forming knots in your stomach causing you to feel something start to rise from inside your body. “I need to use the bathroom.” you quickly mumbled as you got up from your spot next to him to run to the bathroom. You closed the door behind you, instantly falling to the floor right in front of the toilet. You began to cough and to dry heave, the back of your throat felt like it was being scratched by the thorns of a flower. You continued to cough, the scratch on the back of your throat feeling as if it were on fire and wouldn’t stop until it got rid of whatever was inside you, so you kept coughing but nothing. That’s when you felt it the fire at the pit of your stomach it was rising rapidly, and you prepared to empty your stomach of the Chinese food from earlier but the only thing that fell out your lips was a single blue petal fell.

“Y/n, what’s going on?” You heard him call out to you from the room but all you could do was stare at the single petal that floated in the toilet bowl, taunting you.  

No.

This wasn’t happening.

But it was. And it all but confirmed your feelings for him and his feelings for you, you were in love with him, but he wasn’t in love with you.  

You heard his footsteps approaching the bathroom, so you quickly got up on your feet, closed the toilet and flushed it. “Y/n?” his voice called out to you. You were still in a daze sitting on top of the toilet, your hands shaking slightly due to what you had just seen leave your body. You had heard about the disease caused by unrequited love, the one that would fill your lungs with hundreds of flower petals, beautiful flower petals due to the love you had being so strong it would envelop you.  And as time went on and your feelings developed, they would continue to flourish, until you stopped coughing up a couple dozen petals and would begin to throw up whole flowers whose vines would wrap around your heart. By then it’d be too late.  

“Y/n?” he repeated standing at the doorway examining your features and scanning your face. “Are you sick?” he walked to you snapping you out of your daze as he dropped to kneel in front of you. “Yeah I guess so.” you looked up at him and he smiled, the remnants of the pain seeming to linger. “Here let me help you.” he grabbed both your hands to steady you and wrapped his free arm around you to lead you back into the room. “I’m okay, I just had to throw up. I might’ve had too much to eat, I’m pretty sure I can walk on my own.” you let out a nervous laugh as he carefully maneuvered you to lay back down. “You scared me. I don’t care if you just had too much to eat, I heard how you were coughing and you threw up, y/n let me do this.”  

“Okay, okay. If you insist.” you watched as he walked around the bed to lay down on his side to face you. “There’s not anything you’re not telling me, right?” your heart picked up in speed and you smiled nervously. “No of course not hoseok.” you lied.

“Good. I’m too young to be a dad you know.” you rolled your eyes and sighed in relief because of course he’d think the possibility of you being pregnant would be greater than you being in love with him. With that he turned around to fully give the movie all his attention, his hands playfully drumming against your arm. You looked at him the feeling you were to become all too familiar with washing over you once again and you felt your stomach drop...this wasn’t good.

You held onto the toilet bowl as you heaved out flower petals, the sink running in hopes the noise of the water splashing against the bowl would drown out the noises your body was producing. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as your stomach continuously emptied out the blue petals. It had gotten worse, it had been six months since you first coughed up the petal and it was starting to become a routine that you’d dispose of the flowers almost every hour. “Hey hobi are you still with Y/n? If you’re free want to go get some food with us?” you heard a voice say on the other side of the door and panic began to settle, you hoped at the lack of an answer they would turn back and ignore the slight noise coming from the bathroom. “So, he’s not here and he left the water on.” you heard him mumble and your heart began to race as you heard footsteps start to get louder, you tried to get up as quickly as you could but it was too late. “Y/n?” you saw him look at you then look at the floor and toilet bowl. “What the hell Y/n?” you brought up your finger to your lips signaling that he keep quiet. “When did this start?” he said his tone soft yet holding authority, but you refused to look at him as he questioned you. “I-” you started to say but couldn’t finish because the familiar feeling of nausea began to wash over and soon several blue petals stained slightly red littered the bathroom floor. “Oh my god, Y/N.” he grabbed your arm to offer support and to prevent your head from falling limp against the toilet seat. “I’m gonna get some help wai-” you grabbed his wrist before he could leave, and he turned to look at you worry apparent in his eyes. “Jungkook. Don’t”  

“What do you mean Y/n? You’re sick we have to get you to a hospital. At least let me get Hobi.” at the mention of his name you shook your head and you tugged slightly harder on his sleeve, “Please. Don’t.” You croaked, he could sense your desperation and he felt bad. “Don’t call anyone, especially him.” He looked at you and gritted his teeth, he looked like he was questioning his better judgement.

“Fine, okay. I’m gonna get you some water at least. Wait here.” You waited there sitting against the wall until he returned with a glass of water and a hoodie so you could dispose of your red stained top. “Drink this,” he handed you the water “and change I'll be waiting outside we can talk in my room.” you nodded your head in agreement as he closed the door behind him. You drank the water until the glass was empty and you slowly got up to your feet. You looked in the mirror, you noticed how duller your complexion looked and how the dark circles under your eyes had only gotten darker. You looked like shit. You took off your crimson stained top and slipped on the light blue hoodie of his you had seen him wear on multiple occasions. You reached out to open the door seeing him as soon as you stepped out, “Thanks for the hoodie.” he smiled letting you know it was nothing. You could tell he was concerned, and you felt terrible that he witnessed you like that.  

“Let’s go.” he said taking your stained shirt in his hands and walking towards a familiar door. You stayed close behind him as he directed you to sit. You sat at the foot of his bed watching him close the door behind him.  

You felt anxious at the thought of him questioning you about what he had just seen, you worried he wouldn’t understand. He could sense it, he was good at picking up how you were feeling. “How long y/n? How long have you been hiding this?”

“Jungkook…” you muttered quietly. “Please y/n you’ve kept this to yourself long enough. You can tell me.” he reached out to grab your hand. “You can trust me. I won’t tell him if that’s what you want.” he was trying to reassure you, he knew you were already overwhelmed and most likely didn’t want anyone to find out, but for some reason he wanted to be there for you. “It's been a couple months, it started the night of the last show in Japan we came back to the hotel to celebrate after you all got dinner. I never thought it would happen, I thought it had to be a joke at first, so I tried to ignore it, but it didn’t stop.”

“You realized you were in love him, that’s why it started…” he looked away from you, his head down as if he were in deep thought “But it shouldn’t have started because we thought he felt the same way?” he mumbled but you didn’t quite catch what he said. “I didn't think of getting attached to him the way I did until I realized too late. No one was supposed to find out.”

“So why do you keep sleeping with him? Knowing how you feel why do you continue to put yourself through that?” you looked down at your hands that played with the bottom of his hoodie. He was facing you completely, his arm supporting his head as he laid on his side. “Because I knew what I was getting myself into when our relationship started, I just let my feelings get in the way.” He let out a deep sigh. You could feel his eyes on you, if he stared any harder holes would burn into your skull, he turned to lay on his back facing his ceiling he let out another deep breath. “So, you were just going to let yourself keep coughing up these flowers until they’ve filled every inch of you? Filled up every part of you until you’d stop breathing?! You could die Y/N!” you just nodded your head as he continued, his anger apparent through his tone “It’s not worth it, staying with him could kill you, get them removed.” you scoffed at him, of course he’d say that, it was the most logical choice because it was the one that would prevent you from dying. “It’s not funny y/n, it’s your life.” You let out a laugh, “You think I don’t know that?” you looked over at him as he raised himself up with his elbow to look at you. “Why didn’t you leave him then? Before you could truly fall in love, why didn’t you stop it?”

“I thought that the feelings wouldn’t progress if I didn’t allow them to but it’s difficult when I tried so hard to not see him but because of how I felt I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to see him....” your voice lowered in volume as you felt yourself on the verge of tears, you didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to see him to feel bad that you couldn’t keep up with your side of the agreement. “For the life of me I can’t let him go, I can’t muster up the courage to get up and leave because I would rather suffer with him besides me than without him at all.” Tears streaked down your cheeks and fell into your lap as you talked about the man that you weren’t supposed to love. “A part of me had also hoped that he would feel the same, but I can’t make him love me. I wouldn’t be throwing up these flowers if he loved me, but he doesn’t. And I can’t blame him because it was agreed that we could never be together like that.” You choked out through your tears and his eyes went wide, his heart hurt at the sight of you he couldn’t relate to anything you had just said because he had never truly been in love and listening to you made him think that maybe it was a good thing he never was. “I’m sorry Y/n, but it’ll only continue to kill you if you keep this up.” You just nodded your head because you knew he was right, and you couldn’t be mad at him for telling you what you already knew but refused to acknowledge. “I won’t tell him so don’t worry...but you have to promise me you won’t deal with this on your own anymore.” he stuck out his pinky like he tended to do when making “serious promises” you had learned that that was like a law to him. “Okay, I promise. Jungkook...Thank you.” you said as he extended his arms to take you in them all while taking your hands into his own.

He smiled as you both laid there wrapped around each other. He let you cry yourself to sleep in his chest because you wished this wasn’t the situation you were in, you wished you weren’t so desperately in love with his older member, you wished you hadn’t bonded and pinky promised over something that could potentially kill you but that’s how things were because life is fucked up sometimes.

You looked down at your phone as it buzzed once then twice, a message from Jungkook and one from Hoseok. You unlocked your phone, they must’ve been done with the show and were either going out to get food or go back to the dorm to rest. You clicked his name to open his messages.

Hobi: Hey, you up?

y/n: what are you a high schooler?

Hobi: ha-ha funny,, you free? want to hang out?

y/n: I don’t know I’m feeling a little tired

Hobi: please...I'll order you food I wanna see you

Your stomach fluttered, you knew it wasn’t too deep, he didn’t mean it the way you wanted him to.

y/n: I don’t know Hobi it 12 am and you have another show tomorrow

Hobi: that hasn’t mattered before, please y/n you’ve never refused food… and my dick before

You laughed at his last message, you momentarily forgot the pain surging throughout your body. The pain in your chest told you to refuse, to not go, the sickness had gotten worse over the months, you had started to cough up flowers now. If you risked being so close to him he was bound to find out.

Hobi: come on please I miss you.

y/n: okay but I’m not staying long, I have to get up early tomorrow morning.

Hobi: I’ll be waiting for you, I’m sending a car for you now.

You exited your conversation with him, you knew you shouldn’t have agreed but you wanted to see him no matter how much it’d hurt you. You hadn’t been alone with him in months all thanks to Jungkook. You couldn’t blame him though he was being a great friend and helping you during this hard time.

Jungkook: Please tell me you’re not asleep and that you’ll join me in playing mario kart???

y/n: ahh sounds very tempting but i can’t

Jungkook: and whys that?

You didn’t want to tell him you were going to see hobi, you knew he’d get upset and would tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t.

Jungkook: why did hobi just say he’s spending tonight at his place because you two are going to hang out? Y/n I thought we had agreed you wouldn’t see him until i was with you to tell him you’re “going on vacation”

y/n: I know... I just decided i’ll tell him tonight,, i can’t avoid him forever

Jungkook: I know but you’re not in that position to see him alone anymore, what if the flowers…

y/n: I can be strong for twenty minutes, i promise you i won’t be there for longer

Jungkook: I can come with you?

y/n: no it’s okay you need to rest

Jungkook: I have an apartment there too,, i’ll go rest there

y/n: I can do this by myself Jungkook,, pls

Jungkook: okay okay I guess I’ll stay at the dorm but promise me you’ll text me when you get there and when you leave pls

You locked your phone and dropped it on your bed, you let out a sigh as you stood against the foot of your bed, you could to this, you had to do this.

You stood in front of the tall apartment building, the remnants of the winter were still apparent as the breeze swept past you. You took a deep breath as you walked into the building hoping that you could be strong enough to do what you had to do.

He knew you were there so it didn’t take you by surprise that he opened the door before you could knock. “Hey.” he said opening the door to let you in. He took a hold of your jacket and hung it in the closet next to you as you took off your shoes and slipped on the striped slippers he had bought for you to use. “Hey, were you standing by the door the whole time, you opened it as soon as I got here.” he smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just knew you were gonna be here… and the doorman told me so…” you stood in his hallway as you waited for him to tell you where to go. It was odd considering you had been here plenty of times before but for some reason this time it felt weird- awkward even. “Want something to drink?” he asked as he headed to the kitchen. You took in your surroundings, you noticed he had hung up the photographs you had taken on the disposable camera he had laying around and you felt your stomach drop. They were all lined up in his hallway, the picture frames decorated with small stickers and doodles. “Y/n…?” he called out snapping you from your trance.

“Uhhh, yes please” you said as you headed into the kitchen dropping your bag on his counter.

He handed you a glass of wine, your favorite, as you walked in. You smiled and mumbled a thank you as you watched him, he lifted his own glass to his lips and took a small sip. “So…” he began as he lowered the glass. “The reason I invited you over is not only because we haven’t properly seen each other in weeks but because I have something to tell you and run by you.” you shifted from one foot to another as you stared at the half empty wine glass in front of you. “Y/n…” you lifted your face and met his eyes and he gave you a reassuring smile. “Sorry yeah.”

“You look like you have something to say too. So you can go ahead, ladies first.” he smiled and you could feel your chest constrict.

“Actually I wanted to tell you that I’m going away for a bit.” his expression changed as you let those words slip out your lips. “What? What do you mean? Like on a trip for a couple days?” you let out a small cough as he continued to talk. “Yeah.” you lied. “I won’t be able to hang out for a month or so.”

“A month? A trip is usually a couple of days, maybe one or two weeks at most but a month?” he pouted at you and came around the kitchen island to stand in front of you. Please don’t you begged in your head. He was close too close.

“ I need time to be on my own and think about things, it’s a spa getaway.” you continued to lie, it was something like that but not really, you’d come back better and no longer in love with him.

Jungkook reached over placing his hand over your knee to stop it from shaking so vigorously. “You’re fine, hey listen to me.” he told you interrupting you from your thoughts. “So how long will she be admitted doctor? We heard it can take weeks maybe even months.”

“Well it is a rare sickness, but we do have the medical advancements to deal with them now at days. It will be a couple days in which you will be bedridden.” the doctor said directing all of this to you, but you couldn’t pay attention your mind was everywhere but here. “The sickness has progressed significantly and the vines of the flower have started to wrap around your lungs, it’ll be about a month of recovery if we can get you admitted within the next couple of weeks miss y/n.” you nodded your head as you nervously picked at your fingernails. Jungkook took ahold of your hand, “Hey, I’ll be here with you the whole time, I promise. We’ll get through this together.” you gave him a small smile. “I hope so.”

“Do I really have to go that long without seeing you?” he whined as he took ahold of your hand and you felt your heart stop, he reached to grab the other one but you quickly pulled away and he frowned, “is something wrong?” You started to feel the familiar pain start to course through your body. “I just need to use the bathroom, I’m gonna use it- i’ll be right back.” you said as you practically ran to the bathroom. You could feel the flowers start to rise and you hoped he wouldn’t question your actions, you hoped he wouldn’t follow you like he usually tended to do. All you could picture was his smile, the way he pouted and how he held onto your hands when you told him you were going away for a bit. You cursed at yourself for getting so taken away with such little actions and you wanted to cry because you wished you could go through a conversation without feeling your heart about to jump out your chest. “Y/n are you okay?” you heard him call out and you managed to swallow the lump at the back of your throat and reply with a choked up yes as you entered his room to head into the bathroom and that’s when you saw it. You didn’t mean to but it was lying on his bed and you couldn’t help yourself, it was a necklace and note. You wanted to believe it was for his mom or for his sister but then you read the first line;

Inside my blue dream I want to contain you Even if you say no Inside my eyes Inside my blue dream I want to hold you

You felt your heart drop he said he wanted to tell you something tonight, he was going to tell you he liked someone, that he wanted to be with someone and it wasn’t you. You felt pain and sadness wash over your body and you couldn’t hold it in anymore, the flowers came tumbling out. You gasped as they fell out, there was so many blue flowers stained red all over his bedroom floor, you didn’t even make it into the bathroom. You dropped the note on the floor as you saw the flowers pool at your feet, you didn’t even notice his bedroom door open behind you.

“You’re in love?”you heard him say and you panicked. You turned around as you saw him staring at you and then at the blue flowers surrounding you. “Hobi… it’s not-” you could see a glint of pain flash in his eyes and you were scrambled to dispose of the flowers, but it was too late he had seen them. “Y/n…” tears started to unknowingly fall down your cheeks as you tried not to fall apart.

“Hoseok its nothing please, go.” The worry was so apparent in his eyes you wanted to ball up and cry, but you couldn’t let him see you even more broken than you were. “Please, I’ll be fine.” you said as you gathered all the strength in your body to stand up and push past him. “What do you mean Y/n, you’re bleeding.” you were in panic mode, your vision started to blur, and you felt the pain start claw at your stomach, the flowers were rising again and if you didn’t get out of there, he would see them again. “Please Y/n are you okay? Let me help you.” he reached out to grab your arm and you couldn’t hold it in anymore, they tumbled out your lips, dozens of flowers stained red, tears fell down your cheeks as the pain enveloped your body. “ You can’t help me Hoseok, please let me go.” he looked at you and you swore you could see tears start to build in his eyes but you were in so much pain that it could’ve been just you making it up. You pulled your arm away from his before the flowers could rise up again and you ran out his apartment, leaving him momentarily shocked, and the tears kept falling staining your cheeks. You were in too much of a daze to check your phone as you headed towards the elevator and right on time it opened and you saw him.

“Y/n!” Jungkook called out to you, you clutched at your chest as you heard hoseok call out your name. You made it inside the elevator before he could see where you went. Panting and hand shaky you dropped to the floor. “Y/n…” Jungkook repeated. “I thought you agreed you would stay at the dorm.” you croaked out. “And I thought you agreed you would be fine, y/n you’re...”

“I know… funny huh.” you let out a small laugh. “Jungkook he saw me, he saw the petals.” You stared at your reflection and you couldn’t believe he had seen you cough up the petals, all you could think about was the look on his face when he saw them. The worry so apparent in his eyes.  You wanted him to know it was him, wanted him to know that he was the reason those blue hydrangeas filled every part of your body- but of course he was oblivious to that. It never occurred to him that he was the one your heart ached for. You felt your phone buzz again and again. It was him calling but you didn’t pick up, you couldn’t. He crouched down to you, “y/n, you have blood all over you, lets go to my place it’s a couple floors down.” you ignored him.

“The way he looked at me Jungkook, you should’ve seen his face when he saw the flowers.” you felt light headed your surrounding started to morph into one. “C’mon lets get you up.” he said as he took ahold of your arm and started to lift you but you no longer had control over your body, he was starting to become a blur. “I love him and he doesn’t know it’s him I love.” you mumbled as you started to slip away. “Y/n stay with me please.” jungkook pleaded desperately. But you couldn’t make out what he was saying because everything became black.

Your eyes fluttered open and you took in your surroundings, you weren’t home, and you weren’t at Jungkook’s. You felt a slight pain in the left side of your body, and you took notice of the slight beeping of the heart rate monitor next to you. You were in a slight pain, but it felt bearable. You felt different.

“y/n... You’re awake?” you heard a voice say and you slightly got up to lean on your elbow. “Hey, it’s okay I’ll go to you.” soon Jungkook came into your vision, his smile as wide as usual and a glint of worry in his eye. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I feel fine. When did we get here?”

“A couple nights ago, you’ve been in and out of it not really awake but not really asleep. I’ve-We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” he let out a small cough and cleared his throat.

“And Hoseok?”

“He’s been coming every day to check up on you uh he’s outside i’ll go let him and the doctor know you’re awake uh excuse me.” he almost rushed out of the room when he said that and at the same time you see him walk in.

“Hey…” he said as he held onto a bouquet of blue hydrangeas- ironic. You felt nothing- no butterflies, no pain in your chest when he smiled at you.

“Hey… sorry about what you had to see.” he rubbed the back of his neck as you said that, shifting from one foot to another as if he were deliberating what he was going to say to you. You eyed the flowers and cursed whatever higher being was trying to taunt you. “Yeah... these are for you, I know you like carnations but these were the only one the flower shop had.”

“It’s okay, thank you.” there was a moment of silence as you saw him place the flowers in the table next to you.

“So you’re okay now right?” his eyes stared you down, refusing to leave your face until you answered him, and you couldn’t help but smile at him. You felt so relieved, so happy because for the first time the feeling of your heart racing due to his actions was no more.

“Yeah, I’m okay now. It happens.” he looked at you all and he sent you a smile laced with worry. He knew it wasn’t something that would just happen, but he wasn’t gonna tell you that.

“Jungkook and I were going to get some food before you woke up but now that you’re awake do you want us to get you anything, you must be hungry.”

“That’d be great, i'm not sure if i'm able to eat outside food though, jungkook went to tell the doctor im awake so i'll ask him when he comes in.”

“Actually Jungkook ran into the bathroom before he could say anything to the doctor and I.”

“Oh... then... would you mind asking the doctor if it’s okay.”

“Yeah, I’ll go call him for you, find Jungkook and let you rest, okay?” you nodded as he exited your room and he couldn’t keep out his head your smile and his heart did a leap.

“Jungkook?” he called out as he walked into the bathroom and all he could hear was dry coughing and heaving. A simple groan made its way to his ears from the occupied stall as he walked closer taking that as an answer from his younger member. Once he stood right outside the stall, that’s when he saw it, them, the hundreds of yellow petals littering the floor.

“Oh my god.” he said as he pushed the door open to see his friend hunched over the toilet seat as he decorated it with yellow petals tainted red. “How long Jungkook? How long have you been hiding this?”

“Hobi…”

“I'm asking you Jungkook.”

“Please. Just go.” He said weakly.

“No. I'm not gonna pretend I didn’t see this.” His heart pained seeing his friend like this because the person he loved didn’t love him back. it also reminded him of you and the way you pushed him away when he wanted to help, he wasn’t going to let the same thing happen again.

“How long Jungkook?”  

“A couple months” he said voice weak and low due to the excessive amount of pain his throat was in.

“But with who? You’re not seeing anyone, you’re always at the dorm or with y/n…” it took him a couple minutes until he realized, and he felt uneasy. “Wait, you’re in love with her?”

He laughed and nodded his head, “Yeah, I’m in love with her.” it was as if the pain went away when he said that and hoseok felt bad, felt bad that he was in so much pain and the cause of it made him so happy.  

“No this can’t be possible, I thought she was in love with you. Why did she have the surgery if you reciprocate her feelings?” his head was everywhere, this didn’t make sense. He thought you were in love with his younger member, it made sense you were closer in age with jungkook than you were with him. You spent a lot of time together, too much time sometimes that you had started to lag in answering his calls, which bothered him. You would drop by to see them practice because Jungkook had started to invite you over not because he did, over the months you had started to become distant with him and became closer to Jungkook.

“That’s why when I saw her throw up those blue petals she ran away because she didn’t want to tell me because it meant she fell in love with you while we, you know.”  

“God, I wish I would’ve been the one to own every part of her heart, she wouldn’t be in the hospital if I was... I found her on the floor of your bathroom nearly passed out almost a year ago, flower petals surrounding her too...” he felt a pang in his chest and everything around him started to spin. He felt upset and betrayed, “Wait so you knew? You knew she was in love with me and dying because of it and didn’t think of telling me?” his voice started to raise in volume. The younger male weakly raised his arm to grab ahold of his friends. “Hobi… I tried to convince her to tell you but she made me promise I wouldn’t say anything.”

“That doesn’t matter Jungkook…” he cut him off. “If I would’ve known.”

“You would’ve what? You clearly didn’t feel the same way so there was no use.” the younger male gathered all his strength to raise his voice and sit up. “There’s no going back hobi.” He was in a daze and his vision felt blurry. His stomach dropped and so did the volume of his voice. “I was going to tell her. That night. I was going to tell her I wanted to make things between us serious but then I saw her throw up those blue flowers and she ran away… so I couldn’t…”

“Hobi I- I didn’t know.”

He ignored Jungkook and nearly sprinted out the bathroom to head back into your room. Everything was starting to make sense. All those times you would head into the bathroom when you two were together-you would blame it on your birth control, you stopped spending the nights with him after you would see each other, you’d make plans with Jungkook instead of him. You tried to distance yourself from him because he was the reason…  the reason you nearly died.  

You said you wouldn’t fall for each other, you two had agreed you would just have sex, that he would only spend his nights with you, you knew, you said yes. In the beginning it was like that but now, when he had started to develop feelings for you, you lost yours for him. He finally arrived at your room out of breath from the sprint between the bathroom and your room. He opened the door but for some reason he was frozen at the sight of you.

He noticed the way your chest was rising and falling- you had gone back to sleep. He dropped to his knees the pain in his heart too much to bear. How did he not know? Why hadn’t you told him? He would’ve told you before, he would’ve been selfish and spoken before you. He would’ve been able to make the pain stop but now it was too late. He felt helpless and wondered what you must’ve felt. He couldn’t even fathom the amount of pain he put you through. The tears continued to fall down his cheeks as he stared at you and that's when the pain in his chest started, he clutched at it desperately. He felt his heart getting constricted by something sharp and thin. He involuntary gagged as felt something start to rise from his stomach, his throat felt like it was on fire. It was scratching at the back of his throat as he started to cough severely something making its way to his mouth. The tears blurred his vision as the pain coursed through his body, he called your name through the several coughs.

He gave one last cough hoping it would go away and it did but he felt something. He lowered his hands to see what it was and as it became visible through his tear-filled eyes, he registered that what sat in his palm was a single blue petal.