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yoon-topias · 7 months ago

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Yoontopia | Chapter 1 {Ocean Blues}

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, references to self harm, references to violence, references to sexual assault, manic episodes, smoking, risky behavior, jealousy, smut.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary:

Min Yoongi has managed to survive with few vices, a best friend he literally couldn't live without, a careful pharmaceutical cocktail, and a private utopia in his mind. It's not perfect, but he's never had any hope for perfect anyway. As far as he was concerned, everything was under control. That is until one little deal with his sisters best friend throws a wrench in his careful chaos and invades the quiet utopia he built for himself. Pineapple lollipops, late night bike rides, aquarium trips, secrets, promises, and uncertainty quickly spiral until Yoongi can no longer tell if he's his utopia. All he can do now is hold on and hope his heaven doesn't burn to hell. Will he make it through his reality and utopia colliding?

6.7k words

Laying in your bed ready to rot another day away after you were broken up with because "you were just a good fuck, a nobody" just in his bed sheets for months and you're a nobody. Shuffling your feet in your sheets it's your weekend from the hustle and bustle of work, working as a lawyer no one saw you going into that field but it peaked your interest in helping people prove their innocence. Your job is taxing so the weekend is for yourself to just let go and be with him, well before you were broken up with. Now you're by yourself yet again, missing your best friend. Never the type to meet new people and yet here you are heart broken, look where it gets you the one time you step out of comfort.

Your door opening throws you off and in walks no other than Min Yoongi. "Oh I gotta change the door code" rolling your eyes. He is in his normal all black attire which consists of black t-shirt, black zip up, either black jeans or leather, and black combat boots. Oh and you can't forget the two silver chains one you bought him and one Hana got him, paired with two rings one silver and one dark purple says it's because he likes the color and his small silver hoops.

"Nice to see you too, Violet. How much longer are you gonna pout, Hana keeps sending me here because clearly you're not taking care of yourself. You forget my sister is crazy and has both of our locations. " You scoff at him and grumble digging further into your bed. He pulls the covers off of you and you look at him in shock and you're upset you just wanna be in your cozy bed all day. "hey! What if I was naked!" He laughs a you "you forget I know you better than everyone, you don't sleep without your purple pajamas with kuromi you had to have years ago" you gasp "because she is me"

"Yeah-yeah keep tellin' yourself that Vi you're a cute purple evil character. I'd love to see it" Vi the nickname he gave you years ago, because Violet was too long to him so now it's Vi. Only getting Violet when he is mad at you or in serious situations.

He sits down on the black small futon with your blanket by his black boots in your room lighting up a cigarette. The way his slender finders pull the Malbro red from the back and places it between his lips and his eyes shut getting the first hit. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop smoking in my room Min Yoongi, you love killing your lungs don't you?"

"I do it's the only way to take the pain away, give me something else to kill the pain with and I'll stop"

Getting off the bed and going up to him to take your blankets back "gimme them Yoon it's loaf time, you can join" pointing at his side of the bed yeah you're just his sisters friend he tells himself yet literally has a place next to you in your bed. Even when you were that asshole who had no right to be with you, but in his head the list of guys he has seen you with will never be up to his standards, the only on that list is him. Min Yoongi.

"No not today, you're getting out of bed and I'm no longer filling those emotions in your head. He was an asshole who never deserved you in the first place, Violet You're the most vibrant soul out there don't let anyone cover those colors you hear me? Now we're going out today to get your shit together. I'll be on the bike. Waiting. Don't keep me waiting Vi"

You wear all black clothes like you normally do and he calls you the most vibrant? Putting on your black jeans, your black cami crop top, a short black jean jacket, and of course can't forget the black and white dunks that Yoongi also has. You may be on the curvy side, it took a lot for you to get comfortable wearing these types of clothes worried about the looks you would get. Hana always said you were gorgeous. You can hear her voice right now "if you have the body show it those curves are like the road map and the more curves the more fun, exciting, and dangerous they are"

Grabbing your backpack off the table in the entryway. You see the picture of you and Hana. You miss her so much. She was the reason you would get out the apartment you used to share it together and now it just feels less homey. Sighing as you open the door and hitting the lock icon on the keypad.

Walking down the steps getting to the building entrance you see the security guard. He is younger but older than you, super nice and has helped you multiple times when you forgot the door code when you got a little too tipsy at the bar after the break up. "Hello Joon, how has the shift been?"

"It's been good. Haven't had a lady forget her door code because she is too hung up on an asshole" rolling your eyes you know no one liked Jackson, but when you're the way you are you learn to settle on no one likes girls like you. Stepping out the door putting on your sunglasses

"Ya know you're gonna have a helmet on take them off, Vi"

You already know that you're gonna have a helmet on, but you can't be bothered by the sun at any time of the day. Sliding them into your backpack pocket. The full black motorcycle you love to ride on. Feels like you get one step closer to heaven on the back of it. "Another one Yoon, are you serious?" He has the cherry burning, taking another puff and exhaling. "Told you when you get something else to fill the void I will" but he knows the only thing that will fill it is you.

He throws it on the ground and stomps his boots over it. Grabs your helmet off the back it's black and your signature purple neon reflective for at night to be seen. He puts it on your head and taps under your chin so he can do up the buckle. "Little miss lawyer what would your colleagues think of you out of work" once it's all done he does the check he always does with you or Hana when you ride with him shaking your head to make sure it's on tight enough. "You're gonna give me a concussion Yoongi." Hitting his shoulder, walking over to the bike as always he gets on first and holds out an arm to give you sturdy grounding to hop on and put your feet on the pegs. Once you're situated on the back he taps your knee to give you the go ahead wrap around. Putting your knees close to his body and that's when you hear the rumble of the bike turn on and it already has you feeling alive.

"For your information my colleagues need to know nothing about me out of work" over the helmet mic and speaker system, wrapping your arms around his waist interlocking your fingers and giving him a tug. He kicks the stand and revs it, that's your warning to hold on. You're off holding onto your best friend's older brother and no idea where you're going. You're along for the ride knowing he isn't going to tell you.

Zooming in and out of cars listening to "Vi's playlist bitches" on the in helmet speakers and of course he has to listen to it too, currently playing a song you just have to yell and Yoongi always hates it because he can't mute you.

Screaming your lungs "bitch I'm going ghost" as you tap on his stomach with him weaving in and out traffic to get to wherever your destination is. "Bitch I'm goin ghost" but what you don't know is Yoongi is in his helmet listening to you have the time of your life smiling knowing you're also smiling under that helmet he may also be mouthing the words so you don't hear him.

It's catchy, okay?

Giving you tap on your right knee you know he is about to make a sharp right turn you brace on to him and move your body right with him as he turns. He is going down a road you haven't been down in forever, the road to the aquarium your sanctuary. Yoongi even bought you a yearly passes so you can go anytime you want every year for your birthday but work has been become your priority and Jackson thought it was stupid and said "you're not a kid Violet"

"Yoon why are we going this way"

"You'll see, Vi" it's a long curvy road you've been on multiple times riding on the back of his bike. "So when you think Han will let me use her bike" he laughs and you wish you could stab him in the stomach but you rather not die. "You think she's gonna let you drive Riot that's never happening."

"And why not?"

"Because you have the stability of a toddler learning to walk, Vi. Just stay backpacking on us"

Backpacking is what it is when someone is on the back of the bike, because you literally are their backpack. You scoff "I'll show you Yoongi"

"I'd love to see it" tapping the left knee and feeling a little squeeze after the turn you're stopping his way of telling you, there is a language you have developed when you ride with him. At a red light he keeps his hand on your knee to keep you in place and you're just singing your lungs out enjoying the feeling you get. It's green, holding on again he makes another turn and taps your right knee. Squeeze when you come to the stop you're at your all time favorite place the aquarium. "What are you waiting for Vi, I know it's been a long time"

Holding his arm out to help you hop off the back and as you do helmet still on waiting for him you take his off and come over to take yours off. He goes into his jeans and pulls the pack out and lights another and inhales. You see the pleasure written over his face with the first inhale. Swinging his leg over and coming to your aid tapping your chin to lift it up to undo the buckle. Once he takes it off he looks at your wide eyes. Seeing the cigarette between his teeth, staring at it, the habit only formed when you were still in high school and he was already graduated. You noticed he became more distant from you and Hana more elusive. Why did he start smoking? "What you starin' at Vi" as he goes to fix your hair, smooths it out for you and pats your head and you're good to go.

"Nothin' Yoon" he nods, understanding you're not gonna tell he knows this. He is not gonna push further. Grabbing both helmets, shoving one in your backpack and he holds his in his hand and starts to walk to the entrance. The cigarette in his other hand hits as he walks. You rush to keep up with him. Why the hell is he going so fast? As you get to the entrance he flicks the bud on the ground smashing it between his boot and the pavement, showing the ticket person both your passes on your phones going to the locker area for pass holders. Putting your backpack and his helmet in one. Ready to see all your friends. Smiling, waiting for Yoongi to hurry up and lock the locker "come on Yoon I haven't seen Lewis in forever" he laughs at you how you think you're best friends with the aquarium's one turtle.

Yoongi Pov:

"Okay, okay I'll go to the restroom and we can go see him wait here" going to the bathroom I just need a breather. God why is today eating me up I have been in her bed for fucks sake it didnt eat me up, but today is the day to eat me up. Splashing some water on my face and looking at myself in the mirror another cig yeah that's what I need maybe I can sneak out, no you can't she hates it. Looking at what I have become just to hold in emotions and pain. it can do a shit ton to a person become an addict but if I'm not addicted to cigs. I'm an addict to Vi.

When my sister told me to check on Vi, it just gave me the excuse to go see her and without a doubt I got out of bed even if it was early, knowing where I was gonna take her. The asshole she was with robbed her from her favorite place on planet earth. That stupid turtle, but if it makes her happy and smiling I'll do anything. One hundred dollars a year for a membership pass to see her smile yeah I'll do it for the rest of my life. Why do I have one? Well to go with her, but also when I'm missing her it fills the void. I want to get her confidence again in herself. Yeah, she is wearing her clothes again rather than sweats, but I see the way her arms hug her stomach trying to hide it.

She has always felt ashamed of her beautiful body, the curves that are a roadmap to her beautiful inside. Vi finally got comfortable a couple years ago and started to dress more for herself rather than for other people. She let that fucker into her life and he broke all the work she did, we did. She no longer takes compliments, no longer dresses for herself, and no longer is confident. I see a shell of the girl who I fell for. One more splash of water on my face, yeah I can do this. I have done it for years. I'm just the best friend's brother.

Walking out the restroom I see her on her phone with one arm covering her stomach "Vi let's go see Lewis we gotta tell Hans how he is doin'." there's the wide smile I'm used to. She is bouncing in excitement to go and see Lewis. I'll do this for the rest of my life if I gotta.

Running around the aquarium literally all day this girl. She can't get enough. She saw Lewis not once but four times when she looped around, and of course FaceTimed Hana to show her Lewis. Hans screamed and said she would be home soon for their child. Of course a day can't go by without her getting a break and she saw Jackson and his new girl walking around and she tried to b-line it out the doors and leave.

"Violet we're not leaving you haven't even seen bubbles. The starfish" . Two years ago you named it that because it was pink like bubble gum.

I know I can't use the words that I want to. Show him I'm better, show the fucker what he's missing. He won't have any choice but to notice to see whos he fucked with, she's with me no one is fuckin' with her. "But, he's here Yoon in my safe place"

"Wait, here okay Vi" she shakes her head, okay I'm gonna have to do this with her wrapped around my arm like she is going to break. Walking up to the bastard "oh, Vi look who it is Jackson" his eyes goes wide yeah that's right fucker. " Oh! Violet so you finally got with your best friends brother I see"

"We're not together Jackson he is taking me to my favorite place that you said was for kids so why are you here? Oh wait are you dating another one who just graduated and you're on a field trip"

Fuck yes that's my girl.

She said enough that the girl wrapped around Jackson is clearly pissed about what she said. "Well you better go enjoy the field trip Jackson and by the way you never deserved Violet" I see her chest moving up and down. She definitely did not plan on that today. "Hey let's go to the viewing circles and take a seat" nodding her head going to the place she'd spent hours. In school she would just come and sit in one and do homework, even in law school in an accelerated program to become one, tired out of her mind often caught her asleep on her books in one of these circles.

She takes a seat in one knees up to her chest lookin at the fish swim around "wanna talk bout' it?" Shaking her head no I understand why she wouldn't wanna talk about it. "I'm so proud of you for standing up to him Vi '' she looks at me as she does one tear falls. "You are Yoon?" the wide sparkling gray eyes I'm so used to, ever since we were kids I always thought they were beautiful and unique. Rare just like her.

"Of course, the world was against you the moment you were born and look at you as a lawyer at twenty four working your way up at the firm. You help people prove their innocence even though you were caught on the side of not innocent growing up with your dad in jail. Your mom barely survived on one income to take care of you. Vi, I'm so fucking proud of the bright young women you've become. Give yourself credit"

She is looking at me with those eyes that could say a million words. Did I go too far bringing up her parents? Fuck. "Hey I'm sorry I brought them up."

She rushes forward to me and wraps her arms around my neck hugging me like her life depends on me. "Yoon, thank you for being proud of me when I have no one in my court." I wrap my arms around her and give her a squeeze. "What about Hana, Ma, Pop and me? You got the four of us always in your court"

You're just the best friend's brother, remember that Yoongi.

She releases me and I see the mascara broken up under her eyes, lashes taking my thumb and rubbing lightly to take away the smudges. "You always been a cry baby" she scoffs at me there is the girl I know. She crosses her arms and right when she does Lewis the turtle is at the circle swimming. "You hear that Lewis he's bullying me" she's now fake crying looking at the fish swimming by. Her legs up to her chest and arms wrapped around her knees. She turns her head and looks at me. "Can we stay for a while Yoon?"

Not like we've already been here since early this morning and now it's already six at night and this girl still has yet to eat. "Whatever you want Vi but I'm going to get you some food. Stay here, got it? Don't go on another lap." nodding her head as I hop out the circle and she turns to just zone into the fish as they swim by.

Walking to the food court my pocket buzzes pulling out my phone it's a text from Hana

Hans: Make sure you take care of our girl, I know you love her as much as I do.

She thinks I wouldn't take care of Vi, I have always done it. Hana figured out my feelings years ago and promised to never tell Vi while I got my head on straight mentally and physically. I struggled with my mental health for years behind closed doors, we even had to lie and say I was at a school overseas for a program when I was actually in a hospital learning how to control my emotions. I finally have a grip on everything and don't hate the world. The one consistent I had was family and Violet. I was young and dumb for not telling Vi about it all but she has her own issues. How could a person with a loving family and perfect life you could ask for be like me? I wondered about myself so I hid it all from her.

Me: You really think I wouldn't take care of her? When she is the main reason I'm living. Sis I love you but know who you're talkin to.

Hana: I know but she has me worried.

Me: I got it. Trust me sis. Look at our location. Also your girl stood up to the asshole. Tell ya about it later getting her food.

Shoving my phone in my pocket again it buzzes again I'll check it later, Hans always has to have the last word. "May I have two slices of cheese pizza and two drinks please" swiping my card, waiting for the food to come out. "You've been visiting a lot recently and finally brought someone with you man" the young cashier says to me nodding my head. Maybe I have been in her sanctuary a little too much recently. Shoving the bottled drinks in my back pockets and holding both triangle pizza boxes in my hands I make my way up the stairs to the viewing area. I see her in the same position I left her staring at the fish swimming by like a little kid in her own world.

"Vi help pizza and coke here." She turns around and smiles grabs the boxes from my hands and sets it in her little circle she already turned in to home until closing for sure, pulling the drinks out my pockets handing one to her she opens it takes one sip makes a face and of course does her habit she shakes the bottle to make it more flat says it's "too spicy" if it's full fizz. Setting down so it doesn't explode and pats next to her for me to sit down. We both ate pizza. Of course I eat her crust because she hates it. I can hear it now "if it's just bread I don't want it the extra carbs I gotta make use of my carbs for the day can't waste them on plain bread" in turn I scoff with that reply anytime I hear it.

Once we eat it's seven at night and tonight is the night they close at eight so we don't have much longer we can stay. "Imma go throw this away I'll be back" there's a trash can close to the circle thank god. I don't wanna waste any time I have with her. One hour. Sitting in my spot looking at the fish swimming by. Without even turning to me she lays her head on my shoulder to get comfortable, yeah she's just my sister's best friend.

"Hey yoon" I hum in response.

"I wish I was a fish"

"If you were a fish I would have to walk around with you in a cup everywhere"

You gasp "I would be a fish like you see in the pet store! Uh. Oh! The beta fish. Their so pretty"

"You are pretty as you are Vi"

She of course doesn't acknowledge the compliment I give her, but that's normal. "You think if we were fish we would be friends, like how people say you're stars in another universe. What if our other universe were fish"

"Well then it looks like we're gonna be fish Vi because our lives are intertwined in every universe I know it." She gives me a smile "yeah we're fish"

"Hey Yoongs, will you ever stop smoking? It makes me nervous for you" fuck how do I explain it keep me sane. It's that rush it gives me that takes me away from my reality. Sometimes even her. "I don't know it's not easy to quit you know that"

"Oh! What if I help you every time you want to smoke you suck on a lollipop" she pulls one out her pocket, of fucking course she has one in her pocket. It's yellow.

"Fine, but if I do this you're getting something out of it. If I compliment you, you have to accept it. You need to learn to love yourself for everything you are that means mentally and physically. Also a sucker just won't do a heads up, but we can try the only other thing that has taken the pain away is kissing and sex."

She looks as if she is thinking we're both adults here and clearly both not virgins in our twenties she knows the power of sexual contact and intimacy. It's been a long time for me but hey maybe a one night stand will do me some good if I'm going to be complimenting the woman I have loved for years.

"You got it, but Yoongi I swear if I see a cig I'm going to kill you."

I would love to be killed by your thighs.

She reaches her hand pinky out and thumb out god this girl and habit. Putting my pinky out wrapping around hers.

"Pinky"

"Swear"

And we both kiss our thumbs and press it together, this will be the closest I ever get to kissing her I'll take it. She looks at me with a smile and looks at the fish again. Does she know what she just signed up for?

Unwrapping the lollipop makes her look at me from the crinkle of the wrapper, it's yellow, must be mango maybe pineapple? Let's see how it tastes. Looking her in the eyes and putting it in my mouth. She is looking at me for some sort of reassurance that it's good. I hum in response. "Maybe it'll work"

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple. Maybe I can do this for her.

"Hey Yoon" humming in response to her. "There's a stupid office party and we all have to bring someone. Can you go with me because you know?" She doesn't wanna be the only one without someone "of course pretty I'll go with you but I'm not wearing a tux got it?"

"I'm not pretty"

"Miss lawyer what did we just pinky swear on are you breaking the law?"

She rolls her eyes. I'll allow it for now. It's the first compliment. "Thank you Yoon, fine you don't gotta wear a tux, but it's black and white theme"

There is an announcement coming over the speaker that the aquarium will be closing in ten minutes so me and Vi get ready to go and of course she says bye to Lewis not twice but four times. "I'll be back my son, I promise" I laugh at how dramatic she is. "Let's go get our stuff Vi" walking out she even says bye to bubbles even though he is on the other side of the aquarium and we wouldn't make it back in time to the exit. The last thing we need is to lose our passes. Going to the lockers I type in my code 0613 and take my helmet as she does the same code and takes out her backpack. She unzips the bag and takes out the helmet ready to go outside and put it back on. We say our thank yous to the employees and hope they all have a goodnight walking out. There is a light breeze in the air and the stars are already out. The sun must have set early tonight.

"Hey Yoon, look it's us in another universe and Hana!" She is pointing at three lone stars in the sky. Shining bright in the dark sky. "Yeah Vi, it's us" We walk to my bike and she is swinging her arms. I haven't seen her like this in months. It's nice to see her like this again. My bike in view, she holds the helmet out to me so I can put it on her. Once we get to the bike I set my helmet on my seat and she is standing right behind me waiting for me to put her helmet on her. "Vi your eyes will be the end of me" she blinks at me not understanding why I said it I couldn't hold back. Tapping her chin to lift up so I can put her helmet on and buckle it. "There you go, Vi" doing my normal shake on the helmet. I only started it to annoy her. I know I put it on tight enough but now I can't stop. Habits they're hard to break huh?

Getting my helmet on, hoping on my bike I put my arm out to give her the stability she needs to swing her leg over and put them on the pegs. Tapping her knee as they go ahead to wrap around me. I feel her knees come to my sides, arms wrapping around my waist, scooting in closer her body up against my back, and fingers interlock around me. I love giving myself pain don't I? Turning on my bikes hearing the purr of the engine ready to zip in and out of traffic.

I grab my phone and put it on the phone stand, hitting play on Vi's playlist on my phone. Hearing it play on the speakers. "Let's go beautiful" I kick the stand, rev my bike giving her no time to respond to my phrase taking off into the night with the only person I want to be with.

Violet Pov:

I heard what he called me and I couldn't even register it before he took off. Grabbing on to him I hear my playlist start on the speaker zoning into the cars we pass by all the lights at night. It used to be the other way around. I was on the back of Hana and I would be looking at Yoongi drive beside us, oh how time has changed. I feel a left tap preparing to make a turn with him. I lean to the left. "Yoon I don't wanna go home drop me off somewhere" I have one more day off work I can stay out late tonight.

"Ya know already I'm not just dropping you off somewhere, but fine I'll take you somewhere. Hold on, we are going for a little ride. Next turn will be a hard right gotta make this light ahead"

Bracing myself for this turn, I love the night you see all different characters out riding on the back gives me a different perspective of the world. The bars are full, people walking home who got off late, the sex workers, dealers, and buyers. Yeah I may be in the law but it's not my job to be the police is it now? I defend the ones who are wrongly accused, not the ones doing it with intent. Feeling a tap to go right again I latch on more. It feels like tonight will be another full of turns, but that's okay I'm used to it.

"Ready to go fast Vi? Live a little" I give him a squeeze as a yes I'm ready there is an open road no else but the lights on the sides ground, our helmets with mine neon purple, and red on his lighting up the path. The bike makes a loud sound and we're off zooming down the road. I scream as he pops the front tire up and sees the city going by in a blur.

Slowly down to a red light he moves his hand back to my thigh this time not my knee. I see his riding glove and I run my finger across the leather glove.

Why did I just do that?

"Vi, you tryin' to hold my hand? Imma need a lollipop for that"

"You're lucky I'm addicted to sugar I guess"

Wrapping my arms back around him as I hear the rev of the bike. "Well let's go Jagiya" and what you didn't see was Yoongi smirk as he finally got to call you that for the first time ever with no refusal.

Pulling into a spot at the shop where Yoongi works on his bike at, he works part time here. Honestly I don't know how he does it working two jobs and I'm barely able to make it through my one. "Hey I got something to show you" he lifts his arm to help me off and takes his helmet off after I'm off swinging his leg over he comes up to me taps my chin and unbuckles the helmet when it is off he is looking at me and our eyes stare at each other. His cat shaped eyes pull me in and always have they are truly one of a kind.

"I'm gonna be another lollipop Vi, I think I'm a sugar addict"

Eyes still connected I reach my hand back and go into the side pocket of my backpack and grab another lollipop and hand hold it out for him. "Pineapple is all I got" he makes a slow blink and takes it from my hand, unwraps it and looks at my lips and neck to my eyes. "Looks like I know how you taste Vi" putting the lollipop in his mouth and walks towards the shop. I stand there mouth open watching as he walks away after what he just said.

Yeah he's messing with me that's it.

Walking to the shop slowly with my big backpack on my back, I spent many nights here with Hana and Yoongi.

"Yoongi how many times do we have to tell you it is alone time go to the other side of the shop"

"Well you two will break something I know."

Sitting on a little stool with wheels while Hana is working on her bike when they bicker you just let them, no reason to get in the way. Trying to scoot back I tilted the stool a little too much and fell on my ass yep I'm clumsy what can I say.

"Ya! See Vi will be broken by the end of the night if I leave her with you"

Hana scoffs at his words and puts her hand to her chest, offended while Yoongi comes over to me and puts a hand out in my head. I'm too heavy. I can do it myself. "It's fine Yoon I can do it"

"No you're not I'm helping you up miss fall on my ass"

I hear Hana in the back say "she got enough cushion damn that ass is perfection" in turn makes me laugh. Yoongi grabs my hands and helps me up and I get shy about it. "Thanks Yoon, sorry" I start to brush off my pants and and Hana comes behind me and smacks my ass hard "I'll never get tired of it"

"Girls are so weird, do you just go around touching each other's ass and boobs for fun" which makes Hana come around and grab my boob and look him dead in the eyes "Yes, do you not touch your friends balls."

Yoongi looks disgusted at her words "hell no I would never let them touch me. Only people putting their hands on me is a girl, I'm gonna go to the other side but I swear if you break Vi I'm killing you tonight" he puts both his middle and pointer finger in front of his eyes back and pointing between him and her and walks away.

I hear the garage door open "You coming Vi?" I come out of the memory and hum in response to him and walk to the shop he has two bikes parked next to each other his other black racer with red hues and one I haven't seen it's black and purple neon as accents. "You got another one Yoon you gotta slow down you can only ride one at a time"

"And who says it's for me" raising his eyebrow looking at me. "Who has a purple neon helmet in her hand" he points to your hand and your mouth drops open.

Having no words I just go take a seat on the same stool I have fallen off many times. "Well that is if you get me to fully stop smoking Vi, we in this together right you gain confidence and I stop smoking so what do you say?"

You drop your helmet on the ground and look up at him. "Are you serious Yoon"

"Dead serious Violet. You get me to stop, it's yours we can go out in the town and I'll teach you, but that doesn't stop you from riding on the back of mine you're my backpack remember."

"But-but what if I can't do it" you tear up thinking you're not strong enough to help him, hell you barely have the power to do it for yourself right now. He walks for you too and drops to his knees to come to eye level with you. The pad of his thumb wipes your tears away.

"Look like you gotta do everything in your power, Vi you're the strong person I know" looking at his eyes and nodding my head. "Okay okay I can do this for you. Looks like I need more pineapple lollipops. Wait! Do you like other flavors?"

"Pineapple is my favorite Vi"

Yoongi Pov:

She smiles at my answer and nods her head about the pineapple. "Looks like I'm cashing in, I need another" she reaches in her back and grabs another lollipop and opens it for me and puts it up to my mouth to take. I accept it and smirk once it's in my mouth.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

"Can I go see it Yoon" pointing at the bike I nod my head and stand up holding my hands out for her to take "no I'm good Yoon I'm too heavy" I pull her arms and she stands as I pull. Putting my finger under her chin, those gray eyes looking up at me. "Whoever said that to you it's bullshit you're perfect Violet" nodding her head having to take the compliment I'm sure she'll get used to it.

Walking to the bike she is smiling, running her fingers across the main seat for once, not the back seat looking at me "can I sit?" Walking over to her and grabbing her hand to help her swing her leg over, placing her hands on the tank and smiling down at it. The way her body looks on the bike is a fucking sin. The way her thighs sit around it, her curves in shape with the bike accentuating the beautiful bike but even more the beautiful girl on it. I can picture it riding at night with her red and purple zooming through the night but nothing will replace when she is my backpack "It fits you Vi. let's do this". Taking the lollipop from my mouth holding out my pinky to her she smiles and connects our pinkies going in to kiss our thumbs.

"Pinky"

"Swear"

It's sealed. We have started this journey together.

I'm just the best friend's brother.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

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bangtanficsforyou · 2 years ago

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They Reject You (Hyung Line)- Part One

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Warnings: small mentions of alcohol, there might be curse words here and there.

Genre: angst (but it's not that bad, i think?)

A/N: If you enjoy my writing and wish to support me, consider joining my patreon!

Jin

"That's cute," Jin quips.

"Huh?" You say in a questioning tone. Not understanding what exactly he is commenting on.

"The guy preparing dishes for the girl, even though he sucks like really bad at it." He replies with an amused smirk playing on his lips.

Your eyes drift back to the screen for a brief moment to see the said guy now mistaking sugar for salt.

"I mean, dude is trying, so yeah, it is cute," you agree with a nod and take another scoop out of your ice cream tub.

"If only he had my cooking skills." He boasts, leaning back slightly as his smirk turns cocky.

"You went from complimenting the lead guy to complimenting yourself, real quick." You quirk a brow at him, letting him know that you totally intend on calling him out.

"Does that surprise you?" He ask, quirking a brow of his own, in return.

A soft smile appears on your lips. "Considering that it's you, no, it really doesn't."

He nods at you to agree with your words. "Hey, but it's true though. I am a great cook and my girl would be really lucky to have me as her man."

Something about the phrase my girl rubs you off in the wrong way. Maybe it's because when he speaks it like that, your brain comes up with the image of someone faceless being all coupley with him. But that's the thing, you don't want that person to be faceless, you want it to be you.

"So you'll cook for your girlfriend?" You ask trying to keep your tone playful to hide the way your stomach is currently churning.

He looks at you as if you have asked the most ridiculous question and as if the answer to that question should be obvious. "Duh, that's like one of my top date ideas. To cook for the girl I love and wooing her with my skills."

You hum in response.

Does he ever think of you that way? Is the person faceless to him as well? Or does he have someone he likes already?

"Jin," you call out, not thinking straight and acting solely on the emotions that are coursing through your veins. Perhaps, you have had enough of bottling up these feelings and of not having a clue where you stand.

He responds with a hum before glancing away from the screen to look at you.

"I have feelings for you."

For a few moments there's only silence except for the noises from the TV and in those few moments you keep your eyes locked with his, simply because you're far too anxious to move even in the slightest. Plus, having your eyes on him allows you to notice every emotion that plays on his face.

But the longer the silence stretches, the more your heart sinks.

If you were to go by his reaction, or lack thereof, you know, that whatever words he's about to speak, will only break your heart.

Jin closes and opens his mouth a few times, searching for a reply. He just wants to say something, anything that will break this awkward silence.

"You can just be honest with me, you know?" You say, adding a light chuckle at the end, in hopes that it will make him feel comfortable enough to spit out whatever it is that he wants to say.

Thankfully, it seems to give him enough courage.

"I just, haven't ever thought about us like that and your confession caught me extremely off guard." Jin sighs. "But I'm glad you confessed, I can imagine how tiring it can get to keep your feelings to yourself. I just hope now you feel a little lighter and I really don't know what's the app–"

He is cut off by a something small hitting him right across the face. When he realises that it's a popcorn and that it's you, who has aimed it at him, he stops his rambling and looks at you with a confused frown.

"You don't have to ramble so much," you snort.

"I just don't know what to say," Jin for some reason looks disappointed with himself. "Just give me sometime?"

You shrug, pretending to be totally unbothered. "Don't worry about it. Take all the time you need."

With that you turn back towards the tv screen, and rewind the movie a little bit because you have no idea how the plot progressed in the last ten minutes. Jin takes the hint that this conversation is over, at least, for now and resumes watching the movie.

However, you can feel his eyes swiftly move to your face every now and then, just to make sure you're okay.

Any other time, you'd have appreciated it and cooed at how sweet and caring he is, but right now, you honestly hate it.

Because even though he didn't directly say it, you understood what he meant. He does not know how to turn you down.

You understood it the moment he said that that he has never thought about the two of you like 'that'. As someone who knows what falling in love feels like, you know, picturing yourself with the person you want, is something that happens automatically. It's just a part of the process.

But it never occurred to him that way because he never really found himself falling for you.

So for the next twenty minutes, you pretend to be slowly falling asleep to avoid any sort of interactions with the man sitting a few feet away.

Min Yoongi:

"You're late," that's the first thing Yoongi says when you take your seat. Rightly so, you think. Afterall, you're half an hour late and had it not been for your text you're pretty sure Yoongi would have left by now.

"I'm sorry, there was too much traffic," you lie hoping he buys it.

He nods but a part of you thinks he doesn't completely believe it, yet chooses not to question your words.

Instead he hands over the menu to you. "What would you like to order?"

"I will just have the usual, I guess," you reply not bothering to skim through the menu.

"Well then," he dings the bell, notifying the waiter that you both are ready to order.

Once the waiter has noted down both of your orders and is gone, you find yourself glancing around awkwardly to avoid his eyes.

"How was your Sunday?" His deep voice greets your ears and you mentally curse out loud.

"It was just another Sunday," you shrug, not bothering to keep up the conversation because honestly, you're scared as fuck to exceute your plan.

Okay, that sounded very spy like but it's not that serious.

Your plan is to confess to Yoongi.

Yoongi is the man you're engaged to.

The man you're engaged to because getting married to him, would be extremely beneficial to both of your father's companies. The man with whom you have gone on ten dates so far, because although, arranged, you two should get the oppurtunity to get to know each other before marriage. The man for whom you've found yourself falling, just after the third date.

When you put it like that, it does sound as intense as being a spy. Because even though the two of you have been on dates and are about to get married, Yoongi isn't someone who's emotions can be read very easily.

You don't even know if he enjoys your company or agrees to go on the dates with you just because he feels like he has to. He doesn't make you feel unwanted but that doesn't mean you feel particularly wanted either. It's somewhere in between. Which is confusing as fuck, to be honest.

But it's not like all that matters. You both are getting married eitherways, so the bare minimum you can do is to be honest about your feelings for him. That way, you'd let him know where you stand in this arrangement.

You have told yourself that just because you found yourself falling for him this quick doesn't mean he'll too. If his current feelings for you, turns out to be platonic, you'll be okay with it. But that doesn't mean that a part of you does not hope for him to reciprocate your feelings.

And it's because of your 'plan' to confess, that you were late by half an hour. You just kept pacing in your office and lost track of time.

But now that you're here sitting infront of him, and staring at him, you realise that there's no point in stalling.

"Actually, I realised something this Sunday," you say.

He quirks a brow that lets you know that you've got his attention. "What that realisation might be?"

You sigh, feeling your nerves take over. "That if we're going to get married, we should be honest with each other."

His curious expression turns into that of a confused frown. "What do you mean?"

You chew on your lower lip before taking a deep breath in hopes that it will provide you with the courage you need to just let the words out. "I like you."

Yoongi's face remains neutral but you don't miss the glimpse of surprise that flashes through his eyes. That surprise is enough to tell you that he wasn't expecting that.

He remains silent for a few moments and you let him be. Before he can speak, the waiter comes with the food which breaks the tense atmosphere.

Thanking him, you take your portion of chicken on your plate, when Yoongi starts speaking.

"Thanks for being honest with me," he says it softly and in a tone that lets you know that he means it. It also lets you know that there is a but coming. "But I guess I have been too stuck in my head to let myself relax and feel anything."

There we go.

You know you said that you'd be okay with him turning you down but now you don't feel okay at all.

It hurts.

But you guess, you should have seen it coming.

It doesn't help that from the very moment, you realised your feelings for Yoongi, your brain had been imagining you two being happily married and being in love with each other. Basically living with each other like any other couple who marry in normal circumstances.

Your hurt must have been visible on your face because as soon as Yoongi notices the effect his words have, he starts fumbling with his words.

"Look-What I mean to say–"

You chuckle, albeit a fake one, to put him at ease. "You don't have to explain yourself, it's okay."

Yoongi looks unsure but figures he doesn't know what else to say. Which is why he ends up asking, "are you sure?"

You nod and give him smile, hoping to reassure him.

As you look back at your plate, you find yourself wondering what this marriage is going to be like. It's not exactly loveless, but then that love isn't reciprocated. You find yourself panicking extremely, when you think of the both of you living together.

Fuck, what's worse is now he's aware of what you feel for him. You two would pretend to be happily married to the rest of the world and be awkward when away from the public eye.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into.

Hoseok:

It's weird now that you have confessed to Hoseok, your dance teacher.

You know when the term "teacher" is used in a sentence like that, people usually frown. But you'd come to your defense and say, that there's nothing frown-worthy here.

You're twenty two and he's twenty six, both adults and belong to the age group where you both can make your own decisions. Plus, it isn't the usual teacher-student scenario here. Although, you and Hoseok started off with him being your teacher, gradually the two of you became friends.

Hence, it's fair to say he isn't just your teacher.

It's when you started to get to know him outside of the four walls of your classroom, that you started to fall for him. How could you not? He's a literal sunshine. A person who can light up anyone's mood and someone who's presence feels so warm and bright.

You've honestly, never met someone like him before.

You think he should have seen your confession coming but the surprised Pikachu face he made upon your decaration of love, told you that he clearly did not anticipate that.

The whole confessing thing went fine. You were scared, yes, but you did it. What isn't fine, however, is how he is yet to give you an answer.

But it was you who had asked him to take as much time as he needed and to not feel pressured. But after seven long days, you're getting antsy.

Which is why, once the class is over, you linger until everyone else is gone. Once you notice that there's no one else and just you and Hoseok, you head towards him.

You tap on his shoulders to make him aware of your presence.

He turns around and upon noticing that it's you, he gives you one of your sunshine smiles. "Hello."

"Hey," you return his smile and greet him back. "If you don't mind, can I talk to you about something?"

He nods without missing a beat and you honestly love how this isn't awkward at all. Although, by the look in his eyes, you think he has some idea what you want to say. "Did you think about what I said last week?"

Hoseok gives you a nod again, and this time his smile turns apologetic. "Yes I did and I'm so sorry for not reaching out to you any sooner."

You wave your hand in the hair dismissing his words. "Don't apologise, it's obvious that you'd need your time to gain some clarity."

"Thank you so much for being so understanding." He feels relieved to hear your words but sighs when he realises what he will have to do. "But I think I'd rather us be friends, I'm sorry."

Ouch.

You chuckle. "Again, there's nothing you have to apologise about. Thanks for letting me know."

With that you give a tiny little wave and head for the door.

"Wait, you're leaving?" He queries, not expecting you to just leave.

You smile at his question. "Although I'm like totally cool, I still need some time away to let it sink in that the guy I have been crushing on for months, just turned me down."

Hoseok feels bad when you put it like that but he knows you're right. "I get that, I'm sorry–"

"Stop apologising, will you?" You say in a light tone letting him know that there's nothing that he should be worried about and that you're definitely not upset about his rejection. When you notice that his expression has softened, you offer him one last smile before heading out.

When the warm air greets you outside, you feel a bit of melancholy. It's just your mind that wonders how beautiful it would have been had you got the opportunity to call Hoseok, yours. How lucky would you have been had you got to see the side of Hoseok that he reserves only for the special someone. How you could have easily fallen in love with him and would have cherished him.

But alas, you don't think that you'll get the chance to do any of the above.

You just hope whoever, gets to do those things with him, they cherish him and treat him right.

Namjoon:

"I have feelings for you," you slurr, the evidence of alcohol heavily present in both your breath and words.

Namjoon, the person your words are directed at, completely freezes. He blinks a few times for you to say something like sike! gotcha but when you don't, he lets out a nervous chuckle. "You're drunk, you probably don't even know what you're saying."

"Just say that you don't feel the same. Don't try to educate me about whether I'm drunk or not," you whine in complaint. "I anyway saw you making out with that girl a few minutes ago."

Namjoon's expression changes when he realises that although you're saying this in your drunken state, you very well know what you're talking about. Were you really confessing to him? Right now? At your brother's birthday party?

"Hey, c'mon we can talk about this later." He says trying to keep his voice gentle so that he doesn't sound as panicked as he feels.

"No, I need you to say it to me." You reply, voice as firm as it can be in your drunk state. "I need you to say that you don't feel the same. That would help me get over you."

At the end of it, you end up looking like a child throwing tantrum with a pout and a sad yet annoyed frown on your face.

Any other time Namjoon would have cooed at the sight but right now he's too concerned about not making a scene and gain unnecessary attention.

His eyes do a quick scan of his surrounding and when he makes sure that so far the two of you have managed to not draw attention, his eyes drift back towards you and he speaks in a hurried, hushed tone. "I don't think this is the right time to talk about this. Especially not in a room full of people."

"You're deflecting from the topic," you huff and cross your arms. "There's nothing too difficult about rejecting my confession. Just say so and we will be done."

"Can we do this later–"

"No we can't," you cut him off and stomp your feet in anger. "You don't know how much it hurts everytime you treat me as just your best friend's little sister. I know you'd never see me like that but seeing you make out with someone else was a whole different level of hurt."

Namjoon's features soften when he notices that now your features have turned that into of heartbreak.

"I understand what you're trying to say," he says his eyes now on the floor. "But still, I think that this is a conversation that should be saved for later."

You get closer to him, your eyes visibly fuming with how he refuses to take your words seriously.

"You tell me that you don't feel the same, right to my face or I'm not moving an inch from here." You grit the words through your teeth.

Namjoon sighs and you're standing so close to him, that you feel his breath hit your face. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," you reply without missing a beat with your eyes fixed on him, refusing to move an inch. It's your drunk mind's attempt at registering everything so that you don't forget it when you wake up tomorrow. You need to remember this so that you can put a stop to this one sided pining for once and for all.

"Well then, I don't feel the same." He whispers the words so slowly and so gently, that had it not been for your undivided attention, you'd have missed it.

But you don't.

The words have you flinching even though this is very much what you had asked for. You take a few steps back and nod at him, letting him know that you're satisfied with his answer.

You don't look up at him as you leave the hall and ultimately, the party. You think you hear a voice calling your name and you think it might just be Namjoon's but you don't turn around to confirm your suspicions.

Right now, your utmost priority is to reach your apartment and let things sink in.

#BTS x Reader #BTS ff #BTS reactions #But unrequited au #BTS angst #BTS scenarios #Jin angst #Jin fluff #Best friend Jin au #Yoongi angst #Yoongi fluff #Arranged marriage au #Hoseok fluff #Hoseok angst #Dance instructor au #Namjoon angst #Namjoon fluff #Brother's best friend au

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colormepurplex2 · 1 year ago

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The Stars In His Eyes...The Hate In Your Heart | JHS

▻ The Stars In His Eyes...The Hate In Your Heart ↳ Hoseok x f.Reader ⤜ Non-Idol AU ⤜ Enemies to Lovers/Brother’s Best Friend ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 18,085 ⤜ Summary: Jung Hoseok: a devil dressed in a lilac suit with stars in his eyes. He’s not a real devil, no. Just a demon of your own thinking; with a lithe body and a penchant for getting on your last nerve. Namjoon, your twin and Hoseok’s best friend, is getting married. That draws you irrevocably into Hoseok’s gravitational pull—adding to the hate in your heart—as you’re forced to share the honor of standing by Namjoon’s side with him. It’s a month-long battle of wills. You against Hoseok. Will you snuff out the stars in his eyes, or will another emotion infiltrate your hate-filled heart?

⚠️ Crass language, hurt feelings, BIG misunderstandings, mild childhood misogyny, childhood abuse-descriptions of welts made by a belt, alluded to parental homophobia and fears of coming out, shared trauma, mentions of alcoholism/drinking leading to the arrest of a parent, kissing, safe word/consent, mild dom!Reader sub!Hoseok, clit grinding/cock rubbing, penetration denial, nipple tweaking, biting, unprotected v. sex, cum eating/worship, oral f. receiving Each chapter will have specific warnings listed.

Chapter 1: A Ray Of Fucking Sunshine

Chapter 2: It’s Like Dancing On Moonbeams

Written for @moonleeai as part of the Bangtan Writers HQ July 2023 “ARMY Birthday Bash" Fic Exchange Event. 💜 A special thank you to @downbad4yoongi and @hisunshiine for beta'ing and helping make this what it is!

Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad

◅ Back to Main Master List ©️ 2023-07-19 ColorMePurplex2

#bts hoseok #hoseok smut #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #hoseok fluff #hoseok angst #jung hoseok #sub! Hoseok #bts brothers best friend #bts imagines #bts non idol au #bangtanwhq #btsafterdarknet #micdropnet

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ressjeon · 5 months ago

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last day of veld today 🔥😮‍💨

#🥀 — personal #i had a yoongi wip two years ago based on this #brother’s best friend + music fest!au #i have the plot but idk if wanna post it anymore lol #bts x reader #yoongi x reader

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kingofbodyrolls · 5 months ago

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This was so fucking amazing 🥵💜✨

—backseat serenade. (m)

⟶ pairing: taehyung x reader

⟶ genre: punk!taehyung / band au / brother’s best friend au + smut

⟶ words: 10,790

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: falling in love and having weekly sex with kim taehyung is wrong for a number of reasons — and, no, that’s not including the whole other issue that he’s also your brother’s best friend

⟶ warnings: multiple sex scenes, slight exhibitionism if u look hard enough, wall sex, car sex, unprotected sex, all the sex (seriously), fingering, pussy slapping (also if u look hard enough), lots of teasing, doggy style, riding, creampie

⟶ disclaimer: this story is another repost of an old one (although it’s basically been entirely rewritten lol)!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

Keep reading

#bts fic recs #taehyung x reader #reader: female #au: musician #au: brother's best friend #au: forbidden love #vibe: smutty #vibe: angst

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yoon-topias · 6 months ago

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Yoontopia | Index

╰› Synopsis: Min Yoongi has managed to survive with few vices, a best friend he literally couldn't live without, a careful pharmaceutical cocktail, and a private utopia in his mind. It's not perfect, but he's never had any hope for perfect anyway. As far as he was concerned, everything was under control. That is until one little deal with his sisters best friend throws a wrench in his careful chaos and invades the quiet utopia he built for himself. Pineapple lollipops, late night bike rides, aquarium trips, secrets, promises, and uncertainty quickly spiral until Yoongi can no longer tell if he's his utopia. All he can do now is hold on and hope his heaven doesn't burn to hell. Will he make it through his reality and utopia colliding?

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Status: ongoing | All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

All pieces of writing contains mature content unless stated if you are not 18+ please do not engage.

a— Angst

f— Fluff

s— Smut

╰› Chapters:

#01 #02 #03 #04 #05 #06 #07 #08 #8.5 #09 #10

⟡ More to come~

╰› Drabbles:

⟡ Yoongi Pov Sunday morning battles: When we get a blast from the past and see how things used to be with Hans, Yoongi and Vi with some special appearances.

⇢ Part one | f, a | Early mornings |

⇢ Part two | s, a | Sin Showers |

⇢ Part three | a, f | Ordinary Sunday’s |

╰› Bonuses: coming soon.

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bangtanficsforyou · 2 years ago

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They Reject You (Hyung Line)- Part Two

A/N: Tumblr finally allowed me to put gifs!!!!!! Also, if you find Yoongi's and Namjoon's part short, that was intentional. I wanted to keep the suspense till the third part, which is gonna be the last one for hyung line 😉. Hope you enjoy!

Jin

You have been avoiding Jin. Why? Because even though you're an adult, you feel embarrassed and hurt and don't know how to deal with the pain. You can't just bring yourself to suck it up and pretend that you're fine. Worst of all, pretending does not work with Jin. He just knows.

Just like how he knows that your excuses of why you won't be able to meet up with him, are just that; excuses.

Initially, he was fine with it, knowing it's normal for anyone to want their space and time. But as days went by, his discomfort kept increasing. His urge to just wrap you in a hug and never let go kept intensifying. Most importantly, there was this urgent need to apologise for not knowing what to say to your confession.

The confession had indeed caught him off guard but even then, you deserved better than a jumble of words. He can only imagine how terrifying it must be for you, someone he knows to be an overthinker, to confess to him. He knows you must have analysed and played every scenario in your mind before letting the words slip out. He also knows that confessing must have been the last option for you.

Which is why his words before and after your confession, make him feel angry at himself. But then he didn't know any better, did he?

However, now he does.

After a whole month of you ignoring him, dodging his calls and not responding to texts, he decides to take matters into his own hands.

Standing outside of your class, he patiently (impatiently) waits for the bell to ring, so that he can finally talk to you. When the bell does ring, he straightens and stands there watching as slowly people start to leave.

After a while, he spots you with a friend, chatting animatedly about something.

The sound of your name leaves his lips and your body freezes. You take a deep breath, before turning towards him and greeting him with a small smile.

By the look on your face, he just knows.

He knows that you want to greet him enthusiastically, want to go on a rant about your physics professor, want to be the casual and carefree version of you with him. But your eyes tell him, that you can't bring yourself to be.

He returns your smile and you know that he's aware of your emotional turmoil. You feel your heart ache at the thought of it.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He asks in a timid voice that does not sound like his, at all.

You contemplate for a moment before nodding with a soft smile and excusing yourself. When you step towards him so as to not block the entrance, you take notice of the way he fidgets with his fingers. Your fingers itch to take a hold of his, but you know you shouldn't. You shouldn't allow yourself to feel his warmth because you know your heart will desperately hope for his comfort to mean more than it does. For you to have him in ways that you now know, you can't.

"How have you been?" His throat bobs as the words leave his mouth.

"Eh, you know exams and assignments, nothing new," you shrug. "What about you?"

"Can't really say fine," he replies with eyes that shine with words and emotions he can't express. Your features soften at his response. You know this isn't easy on him either.

"I'm sorry for making things messy–"

"Don't you dare say that," Jin's firm voice cuts you off.

You mentally scold yourself for your heart skipped a few beats at how kind and loving Jin is. It only reminds you why you need some time away from him.

Sighing, you give him a tender smile. "I know this isn't anyone's fault but it's still difficult for the both of us. But I just need some time to move on, just till then?"

You see the way Jin's eyes reflect both pain, longing and understanding. "Can I get a hug, at least?"

A part of you immediately feels the need to say 'no' to his request. You don't want to feel his warmth. You're scared it would ruin any progress that you have made. But then you really do want to hug your best friend because you have missed him.

This is why folks, you should not fall for your best friend. Too much drama.

Making a quick decision and choosing not to overthink any further, you embrace him in a hug. A surprised gasp leaves Jin's lips, which is soon followed by a satisfied sigh and arms wrapping around you.

The smell of your shampoo evades his senses and his eyes close automatically, as he basks in the familiarity and comfort that comes with you. Fuck, he missed you.

His nose gently snuggles against your hair and he takes a deep breath and he wonders what it would be like to wake up next to you, like this. All snuggled up, you in his arms and his nose buried in your hair. However, the thought is gone when he realises the suddenness of it.

Where did it come from?

He does not get enough time to gather his thoughts as you gently part from the hug and sigh. For the briefest of moments, his eyes drop to your lips and he feels a weird sensation in his body.

"I'll have to leave for the next class," you keep your voice soft knowing how tender the moment is. Or maybe it's your heart that's tender.

He, however, does not know how to respond. His mind feels all fogged up and he feels frozen. All he comes up with is a nod and he tries to look as sincere and in the moment as he can so that it does not worry you.

When you turn around to leave, his eyes linger on your retreating figure and he

feels his heart scream at him to go back into your arms and to never let go.

Yoongi

Y/N: Hey, can we raincheck? I've got a meeting to attend.

Yoongi looks at the screen and sighs. Well, if it isn't the fourth time that you have cancelled. Something that makes it pretty obvious to him that you're doing everything in your power to avoid him.

He knows it's because of what happened on the last date. Thinking back on it, he thinks he hasn't been as honest with you as you have been with him.

Well, technically, he did say the truth. But then when the truth isn't explained, it can often be misinterpreted. Which again is his fault and he knows that.

He knows that he kind of wasn't able to express his exact emotions (because when has he ever been able to do that), but maybe you should not just straight out ignore him like this.

It makes him feel guilty about his words.

He wishes he had worded it in a better way. Wishes, he had told you that he wasn't expecting to get married this soon and that he could not let himself relax into the idea of getting married.

But then anyone would be shocked if they were to wake up one day and realise that they are getting married to someone they don't even know properly.

It's not like he didn't know that this is how it was going to be. He just didn't know that it was going to be this soon. He just assumed that it would be somewhere in his late thirties. Definitely not in his twenties.

Yoongi: Are you free tomorrow?

Now, that is very different from the 'okay' he usually sends you. This might also be the first time he has let it show that he too, wants to meet you.

Your response comes to him after ten minutes.

Y/N: I don't think I will be free till next week.

Well, then.

Yoongi: so the week after?

He responds instantly.

Y/N: I'll have to check my schedule. I'm not really sure.

Yoongi's frustration gets the better of him.

Yoongi: Can we please just meet up and talk?

The words on the screen stare at you causing nervous butterflies to fly in your stomach. The butterflies are, however, soon followed by a sinking feeling when you realise what meeting up would mean.

Somewhere, somehow you'd have to address what happened during the last date. You, confessing to him and then him telling you that he does not feel the same.

Every time you recall that scene, your mind and heart, hurts. It makes you pity the situation you both find yourselves in.

It also makes you feel guilty that despite not liking you, he has to marry you. It makes you feel as if you're trapping him in a lifelong bond when he deserves better. Not to mention, how your minimum expectations might always remain fulfilled. How can they be met when there is no love?

Time stops when you suddenly have the realisation that both of you deserve better. You deserve to be married to someone you love. Yoongi deserves to be married to someone he loves and wants. You both should not have to wake up next to each other and feel like the relationship is a chore.

Fuck, you can't get married to him. You need to do something.

But you know there's no way either of you can talk yourselves out of this arrangement by simply talking about it to your parents. But there has to be some way.

Maybe you and Yoongi will be able to come up with an idea, together.

Y/N: a meeting of mine got cancelled.

Y/N: I'm free tomorrow.

Namjoon

Namjoon has a lot going on right now.

Exams, assignments, projects. These things in themselves are tiring. To add to that is the emotional turmoil he is facing. He has to pretend that he's not feeling guilty as fuck in front of his best friend as if he didn't just crush the said best friend's sister's heart, a week ago in the middle of a party.

And even though it's been a week, your words still haunt him. The look in your eyes and the way you looked so broken yet angry. All because of him.

He also can't believe that you had to watch him with other girls on more than one occasion. He does not know how you managed to pretend that everything was fine and went as long as you did, without snapping. He honestly has no idea how you did it but he's glad it's done. Now that the cat is out of the bag, things should be fine with time.

His line of thought is proven to be wishful when he walks inside Yoongi's dorm and notices you standing there.

You look just as caught off guard as Namjoon feels. However, after a few moments, you school your features and pretend to be nonchalant towards his presence and focus your attention solely on Yoongi.

"Yoongi, did you find the book? I'll have to leave for my class," your voice breaks the silence, making Yoongi look at you.

Namjoon does not know if he should be grateful for Yoongi's presence or not. On one hand, Yoongi being here is a good thing because that way you and Namjoon aren't alone in the room. On the other, Namjoon is sure Yoongi can feel the way the atmosphere turned tense from the moment of his arrival.

"I told you, I'm looking for it," he grumbles in an annoyed tone. "I swear I kept it on the table."

Yoongi misplacing things isn't new at all. But what is new is how his sister and best friend remain silent instead of making fun of him.

You and Namjoon when together, are usually a pain in the ass for Yoongi, always teaming up against him whenever the chance arises and him forgetting where he keeps his things, is sure, one. But today, there seems to be no intention of pulling his leg. If the two of your body language weren't weird enough, this behaviour surely is and makes it obvious to him that something is wrong.

However, what he has no idea. But he thinks it's none of his business. You both are adults and if there's something wrong, you two should be able to solve it on your own.

Looking around for the said book a little more, Yoongi huffs. A huff that conveys his frustration and the fact that he's about to give up on his search for the object.

"Go to your class, I'll find it by today," his next words confirm this.

You roll your eyes to let him know that you're annoyed but not surprised. "I need it by today, don't forget that."

He waves his hand in a dismissing tone. "Got it. Now shoo."

You collect your belongings and leave the room without paying Namjoon any further attention. Your refusal to acknowledge his presence hurts him in a way that has him itching to reach out to you. But he knows he can't do that. Not after everything.

However, after your departure, the silence that he is met with is even more suffocating. It's one of those silences that Yoongi allows to linger to allow Namjoon to talk if he wants to. If not, that's fine too.

Namjoon decides on taking the opportunity and chooses to be honest. Because he does not how long can he go like this without having an outburst. "I need to tell you something."

"Go on," Yoongi replies with a shrug as if he did not see this coming.

Hoseok

You and Hoseok have remained friends.

Initially, it was quite difficult for you. Your mind couldn't help but come up with scenarios where he reciprocated your feelings and you two were happy with each other.

But since that cannot be the case, you had to move on. And what better way to move on, than registering on a dating site, right?

So, that's what you did. You opened a tinder account and went on dates. After two catfish cases and four failed dates, you finally found one guy you liked. Someone, who's your type and someone you can hold a genuine conversation with.

Although, the two of you are not in an official relationship, yet. You'd like to think that you are headed there. Slowly but gradually.

You two are at a stage where you both can talk about anything with each other like friends do but at the same time flirt, kiss and go on dates. It's just perfect and light.

Which is why you didn't think twice before asking if he would like to join you as your plus-one, at a friend's birthday party. That way you would get to introduce him to your friends and vice versa.

Much to your delight, he seemed excited at the prospect of meeting your friends.

Which leads you here, in the middle of a club, with your close group of friends and Henry.

After some time of dancing and swaying your hips to the beat, you decide to head to the bar to get yourself a drink to quench your thirst. It's when you are waiting for your drink that you hear the sound of your name which causes you to freeze. It's not so much about your name being called, rather it's about the voice that called your name.

"Ho-Hoseok?" You stutter the name out, genuinely surprised to find him here.

"Hey," he smiles at you with the same amount of surprise and glee. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for a friend's birthday," you reply, trying to relax your features and return his smile. "What about you?"

"I'm here with Jimin. Just wanted to have some fun for the weekend," his voice gets a little louder when the music turns into a more upbeat one.

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, another figure approaches the both of you. Jimin.

He, too, looks pleasantly surprised to see you. "Y/N! Did not expect to see you here."

"Jimin!" You exclaim, now feeling some of the discomfort evaporating. "Everyone's idea of fun weekends really has come down to alcohol huh?" You tease lightly.

"To be fair–"

"Y/N?" An arm comes to rest on your back and you recognise the voice to be Henry's.

Shit, this is going to be awkward.

Now that Hoseok and Henry are right in front of each other, you find yourself feeling anxious about how the whole encounter between them will go. You know that you have to introduce them but how do you introduce Henry to Hoseok?

Most importantly, you don't want to give away the impression that you're dating Henry solely, to get over Hoseok. Because although it might have started that way, gradually you did find yourself developing a genuine interest in Henry.

You turn a bit to focus your attention on him and soften when you notice the concern in his eyes. He must have come looking for you, after noticing that you were taking so long.

"Henry, this is Hoseok and Jimin." You introduce him to your two friends. "And guys, this is Henry."

As Hoseok shakes hands with the said man, he can't help but take notice of the palm that still rests on your back. It somehow gives off the impression that there's more to the two of you than just friends. Don't ask him how he knows that, he just does. Maybe it's because he's a social butterfly and has interacted with way more people than he can count or maybe it's because he's a dancer and has a good read of people's body language.

"Hoseok is my dance trainer, that's how we became friends." You add hoping that that much information is enough and that you'd not have to elaborate on how you and Henry know each other.

"Ah right, babe! I remember you mentioning your dance classes." He then turns to Hoseok with a genuine smile on his face that shows that he's delighted to meet him and put a face to the name.

However, you wince internally at the use of the name. Shit, you think that the usage of that term is pretty self-explanatory and also, embarrassing. At least, in this context.

The word does not escape Hoseok's attention but he chooses to ignore it.

"Care to tell me what she says about my dance classes? I'm a sucker for authentic feedback," he jokes in hopes that he still has his bright smile on when in reality he feels confused and has no idea how to navigate this situation.

"All good things, I assure you," Henry says, with a small chuckle.

"And for Jimin, he is a friend of Hoseok's and that's how we became friends," you complete your introduction and pray to whatever higher power there is, to not make things any more awkward. Although, you're sure you're the only one who's feeling the awkwardness of the whole situation.

"Tsk tsk," Jimin tuts, pretending to be disappointed. "Tell him how you know us, but don't tell us how you met him. I see how it is."

Oblivious to your discomfort, Henry lets out a small laugh at your friend's teasing. "Let's just say we met by chance and clicked."

Jimin lets out a low whistle. "That tells me you two are not just friends."

At this, Henry's brow furrows a little in confusion. He thought these two were your friends. Do they not know that the two of you have been dating for some time?

He looks at you in concern when he realises that Hoseok and Jimin might not be a part of the friend group you are here with. That maybe, you meeting these two here was purely by chance and maybe he has run his mouth without checking whether you feel comfortable with them knowing or not.

His heart sinks when he realises that you have an expression of unease on your face which confirms his suspicions.

Not knowing what he can do to let you know that he's sorry, he settles for squeezing your hand. And it does give you enough comfort and courage to answer Jimin's question.

"I guess you can say so," you say with a shy chuckle. Because how else is someone supposed to respond to the question?

Jimin, thankfully looks elated at the revelation. "Damn, that's cool. I'm glad for the both of you."

Hoseok does not know what to say so he simply nods. Loads of questions and thoughts run through his head. One of the main things he finds himself wondering about is whether this Henry guy treats you right or not. However, he knows that he is not in a position to ask that.

So he watches. Watches and tries to decipher if this guy is any good for you. He is aware that it's quite wrong to judge the guy when he's meeting him for the first time but that awareness isn't enough to stop him.

Much to his delight (or dismay), this Henry guy does seem to be someone genuine. Which stirs another kind of discomfort in Hoseok's stomach. A feeling he realises, he can't quite describe and hence, chooses to ignore it.

"How long have you two been dating?" Jimin asks and a part of Hoseok mentally pats Jimin on the back for asking the question.

"A few weeks," you take your ordered drink and take a sip. The lightly sweet taste greets your tongue and helps your jaw muscles relax.

Any further questions that Jimin might have, remain unasked as you notice your drunk friend wildly waving her hand in the air, towards your direction to get your attention. When she notices that she has your attention, she motions you to come to the dance floor all too excitedly.

You smile a little at your friend's antiques and make a note to thank her later for saving you from this situation. Lifting your arm a little, you wave back at her.

"Brie is calling us. We should get going." You inform the two guys in front of you. "See you later?"

Jimin and Hoseok both nod with smiles, not wanting to hold the two of you back any longer.

With a drink in one hand and Henry's hand in the other, the two of you bid your goodbyes.

Hoseok looks at your linked arms and there's a feeling he does not want to name. He tries to play it off by telling himself that it's just him being a protective friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Although, he does not know if his denial is because he isn't brave enough to face his emotions or because it is the only choice he is left with.

Whatever it might be, he hopes that alcohol would somehow manage to take these thoughts away from him and hopefully, he will forget all about this encounter when he wakes up tomorrow.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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#Jin x Reader #Jin angst #Jin fluff #Jin best friend au #Yoongi x Reader #Yoongi angst #Yoongi fluff #Yoongi arranged marriage au #Namjoon angst #Namjoon x Reader #Namjoon fluff #Brother's best friend au #Hoseok x Reader #Hoseok angst #Hoseok fluff #Dance instructor Hoseok #BTS reactions #BTS fic #BTS scenarios

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colormepurplex2 · 1 year ago

Text

The Stars In His Eyes...The Hate In Your Heart | It's Like Dancing On Moonbeams

↳Hoseok x f.Reader ⤜ Non-Idol, Brother's Best Friend, Enemies to Lovers ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: 10,595 ⚠️ Crass language, hurt feelings, BIG misunderstandings, mild childhood misogyny, childhood abuse, shared trauma, mentions of alcoholism/drinking leading to the arrest of a parent, kissing, safe word/consent, mild dom!Reader sub!Hoseok, clit grinding/cock rubbing, penetration denial, nipple tweaking, biting, unprotected v. sex, cum eating/worship, oral f. receiving

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Branches claw at your face and snag in your hair as you mindlessly stumble through the trees—your vision blurs, hot tears thundering down your cheeks in a torrent you can’t control. The echo of Namjoon’s words clangs around in your head, making you feel disoriented.

The toe of one of your shoes catches a humping tree root, and you go down hard. Blood fills your mouth as your teeth chomp your tongue with the jarring fall. Quiet sobs shake your chest as you push yourself up and stumble forward again, absently brushing the dirt and debris from your abraded palms.

Thankfully, your father is still gone when you swing open the backdoor and shuffle inside. You kick off your shoes in the small mudroom, quickly disappearing into your shared room. The beds are small, with just a few feet of creaking floorboards separating them and a small window between the headboards.

The closet has a small chest of drawers shoved under the few dozen hanging items of clothing, half the drawers yours and half Namjoon’s. You pull open your top drawer, grabbing a clean pair of long pajama pants. They’re threadbare but comfortable and will cover the welts.

Namjoon comes in through the back door long after you make a small pot of rice for dinner. There’s dirt covering the knees of his khakis, and sweat makes the strands of his hair stick together on his forehead.

“Father went to town?” he asks, his voice pitched low as he comes in behind where you’re washing up the few dishes you used for dinner.

You set the dishes on the drying rack on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry your hands before turning to face him. “He left this morning after breakfast.”

Relief is evident on Namjoon’s face. “Any idea when he’ll be back?”

“He had an appointment to discuss the harvest. I imagine he’ll be home late or early tomorrow, same as always.” You know your voice has a coldness, and you know Namjoon is picking up on it.

“Everything okay?”

Anger burns in your belly, upsetting the meager meal you just finished. “Everything’s fine,” you say, stepping around him to go to your room. “I’m going to bed early. Try to be quiet.”

“Whoa, Kitty!” Namjoon grabs your arm as you try to pass him. “Why are you limping?”

Jerking your arm from his grip, you bare your teeth at him. “It’s nothing.”

“That’s not nothing. I can clearly see you’re in pain. What did he do to you?” Namjoon’s eyes bore into yours, panic lacing his question. He’s as familiar with your father’s belt as you are.

“I said it’s nothing, so it’s nothing. Just leave it, okay?” You shove away from him, wincing against the ache in your thighs as you try not to limp as noticeably. “Not like you care what I have to say anyway.” They’re whispered words, but you’re sure you said them loud enough that Namjoon would hear. In part, you want him to ask again. You want to know he cares about your opinion, regardless of what Hoseok said by the lake. But he doesn’t say anything more or ask again…

You curl up in your bed, facing the wall, with your back to Namjoon when he finally slides into his bed. You can hear him tossing and turning for a while before the noise is replaced with his soft, even breathing.

The first tear slides into your hair as you realize you’ve lost him. Namjoon no longer needs you the way he once did. That reality can only be placed at one person's feet—Jung Hoseok.

_____________

You startle awake, heart in your throat. Your pillow is wet, soaked with tears still sliding down your cheeks. Scrubbing at your cheeks angrily, you throw back the blanket and swing your legs over the side of your bed.

“Fuck,” you lament, pressing the heels of your palms against your eyes. “Fuck!” The frustration quivers through your limbs, followed by emotional fatigue. You tap the screen of your phone sitting on your bedside table. It’s only 5 AM.

The argument with Hoseok yesterday and the consequential retelling of the day when you were thirteen stayed with you seemingly all night. It’s been years since you’ve dreamed of that day, the nightmare usually only brought on by an intense argument with Namjoon.

An uncomfortable heat lingers on the backs of your thighs as if your body still remembers what the snap of your father’s belt felt like. You haven’t seen your father since you and Namjoon moved out at eighteen. The last you heard, he’d ended up in prison because of a drunken brawl that landed a man permanently in a wheelchair.

Namjoon visited him briefly once, just to ensure legal matters were covered with the then-vacant farmhouse. You both agreed to sell it once the paperwork was finalized and you received rights to it. It’s a place you both never wanted to see again.

Pressing a hand against your chest, over your fluttering heart, you take a slow and deep breath to help calm yourself. Grabbing your phone, you click into your text thread with Namjoon and send him a message to call you when he’s available. You put your phone aside, and the day slips by in a blur of mundane things. A few times, you catch yourself staring at Hoseok’s contact—rightfully saved as Jung He-really-sucks—in your phone, but never more than that.

The only response you get from Namjoon is a quick text saying he and Jin are super busy, but if it’s crucial, he can swing by the apartment sometime between meetings. You let it slide without wanting to add more stress to your brother’s plate. Hoseok might be right in that you need to have a conversation with Namjoon, but at this point, there are far more important matters than your fifteen years of hurt feelings right now.

You manage to get through the next two weeks without having another falling out with Hoseok. From the outside looking in, people would assume you’re at least cordial with one another. Though, that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, you haven’t even communicated directly with him since the day you had your argument. Instead, you’ve been childishly only communicating with him through Yoongi.

Yoongi doesn’t mind being the middleman. He knows you well enough to understand what you need regarding Hoseok. In the short time you were with Yoongi, you may have divulged some of the darker secrets about how you feel. So, he takes it in stride when you use him as a conduit and has been a saving grace in keeping Hoseok at least six degrees removed from your bubble.

That is, until the day of Namjoon’s wedding. Nothing in the world can keep you away from Hoseok, then. The thought of wrapping your arm around his as you walk down the aisle to stand at Namjoon’s side has sweat slicking down your spine. You blot a tissue along your temples. Taking a fortifying breath, you knock softly on the door before you.

“If you’re Jin, go away!” Your brother’s voice is muffled through the door but no less humor-filled.

“Not Jin,” you call.

There’s distinct shuffling on the other side. “Oh, thank fuck,” Namjoon gushes, shoving the door open just enough to let you slip into the room. “He’s been trying to trick me into letting him see me for the last hour!”

“Do you really believe in those can’t-see-the-bride-before-the-wedding superstitions?” you question, looking around the small space he’s getting ready in.

The room is a mess—flowers and discarded articles of clothing cover nearly every surface. Namjoon is half-dressed in nothing but boxers, long black socks, and a white tank top with his periwinkle-colored dress shirt open over it.

“It’s not that.” His cheeks pink as he turns away from you.

You purse your lips in curiosity. “Then what is it?”

His eyes flick to yours over his shoulder. Namjoon noisily clears his throat. “You don’t want to know.”

“Jin wants to fuck you, doesn’t he? ‘Ravage the bride and steal her innocence’ kind of thing.” You laugh as Namjoon swings around and gawks at you. “Chill out. You tried to scratch out that in your notebook, but I could still read what he wrote. It’s cute, in a dark romance novel kind of way.”

Namjoon groans, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I would indulge him, but I’m worried he’ll ruin my clothes or make me lose focus.”

“Don’t worry, brother dearest. I’m sure Jin would put you back together after breaking your back.”

The scandalized look he gives you makes you laugh again. A sudden knock at the door accompanies it. “Namjoon?” Seokjin’s voice sounds from the other side.

“Sorry, Jin, I’m taking over to get your prince charming ready for the ball,” you call, stepping closer to the door.

The door thumps, rattling on its hinges as if Jin jerked against it. “Oh, uh, umm…sorry, Kitty, I didn’t know you were in there. Ahem, er, well—“

“Don’t worry, lover boy. You can lay claim to my brother’s backside as soon as you say ‘I do’”.

There is a stammered reply from Jin, but it’s too muffled for you to hear it clearly, covered up by the fast retreat of his footsteps. “Fucking hell,” Namjoon sighs dreamily. “I really love that man.”

You can’t help but smile as you look back at your brother, his eyes unfocused as he stares at the door, cheeks still sporting a soft blush. “Let’s get you ready so you can show him just how much you do love him.”

Namjoon hums, moving over to sit in the only chair without something sitting on it. “I don’t want anything too over the top, just a nice style.” He gestures to his unruly hair, the strands flopping haphazardly.

“Don’t worry. I know exactly what Jin will love,” you assure him, offloading the small bag of hair supplies you brought with you. “You know, this reminds me of when we moved out, and you finally let me play with your hair. The platinum blond fauxhawk was really a look, huh?”

“My hair was so dry and fried from all the bleach. You had no idea what you were doing,” he chuckles, ruffling a hand through his thick, inky hair. “Oh, hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call you last week. I know today isn’t exactly a day we’ll have much time for chitchat, but we have a few hours now while we finish getting ready to talk if you want.” He catches your eyes in the vanity mirror on the wall in front of the chair as you step behind him and set your bag on top of a few boxes.

“I don’t know that today is the day for that conversation, Namjoon.”

He shifts in his seat, his back straightening. “What’s going on, Kitty? Talk to me. Now’s probably the best day to take my focus off the stress of something going wrong. Come on. It’ll be like old times.”

You open your mouth, intent on insisting it’s unimportant, but Hoseok’s words echo through your mind. You do need to have a serious conversation with Namjoon, and after today, there’s no telling when you’ll get another chance like this.

“Do you remember, umm…well, I don’t know how to describe that day, at least from my perspective,” you lick your lips, trying to search for the words. Something else Hoseok said catches in your mind. “Can you tell me about the day you told Hoseok about how you really feel about men and women?”

Namjoon stills under your hands, his lips thinning into a stoic line. “Why?”

“He and I had a conversation—an argument, actually, about a certain day, and he says it’s the same day you told him about that. I just, that day, it’s something else for me…and I just want to make sure we both know what day I’m talking about before I actually start talking about it,” the words rush out of you as you wince with the awkwardness of the conversation.

“Is this argument why you haven’t seen nor spoken to him in almost two weeks?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow, staring at you through the mirror.

You tear your eyes from his, busying yourself by grabbing some hair wax and styling pomade from your bag. “It is. He told me I needed to have a serious conversation with you about that day, and well, that’s what it was all about.”

“Let’s talk about it.”

“Can you tell me about that day from your perspective?” you tentatively ask, unscrewing the lid to the pomade.

“I remember climbing out the window, even though you had asked me not to…”

_____________

The sun is still below the horizon, but the heat is already threatening to choke Namjoon. Summers in the countryside are brutal, sticky, and uncomfortable. He wonders if you’ll be okay with sleeping with the window open tonight in hopes of a breeze to cool down the stifling inner atmosphere of your shared room.

Namjoon skirts around the toolshed in the back, heading straight for the line of trees on the edge of the property. He doesn’t dare look back, fearing if he sees the disappointed look in your eyes, he’ll immediately climb back in through the window.

If he’s lucky, Hoseok will already be waiting for him at the lake, and they can get a quick dip in before Namjoon spills his guts. It’s been on his mind for weeks now to come clean with his new friend. He might have only met Hoseok at the start of last school year, but in that time, they’ve grown increasingly closer.

As much as Namjoon loves you, it's refreshing having another guy's perspective, especially as Namjoon grows into his teenage years. Things are changing, his body is changing, and there is just some stuff he’d rather not talk to you about. Private things, awkward and weird things—things that make his heart beat a little harder to think about.

“Namjoon!” His name echoes from his right. He slows his steps, peering between the towering trees until he catches a flash of white in the dim light breaching the overhead canopy. As he approaches the voice, the sun slides over the horizon, but the rays are thready and weak through the thick tree cover.

Hoseok comes into view a few moments later, carrying a covered basket in one arm and two folded towels in the other. “Hey, man,” Namjoon greets his smiling friend, feeling lighter already.

Green onion pancakes and boiled eggs sit in the pit of Namjoon’s stomach as he watches his friend skip rocks across the shimmering surface of the small lake. The cleared ground between two fallen trees makes the perfect picnic spot. The pancakes, eggs, and thermos of water Hoseok brought were easy to eat as they sat on the rocky shore by the placid water.

“Don’t think I haven’t seen the new bruises on your arm,” Hoseok says, casually skipping another rock out over the lake. “What happened this time?”

Hoseok doesn’t know everything that goes on in your house. Namjoon has only told him vague details, mostly leaving out what your father does to you. He’s sure if someone else found out his father raised a hand to you, they’d confront him, and that would only make matters worse—your words, not his when he first broached the subject right after your mom left. Everyone else in the community paid no heed to the Kim children and the map of discoloration that occasionally dots their skin. That’s just how it is living out here.

Namjoon tugs down the cuff of his short sleeve, trying to cover the distinct fingertip bruises on his upper arm. “Father has a short temper regarding chores around the farm. It’s nothing new. I knew I would get in trouble when I didn’t finish my chores before sundown yesterday.”

A grunt comes from Hoseok as he launches another stone. The rest of the rocks in his hand clatter around his feet as he turns to face Namjoon. “That’s my fault, isn’t it? If I hadn’t asked you to hang out yesterday afternoon, you would have finished on time.”

Shrugging, Namjoon dismisses the subject, setting his focus on the reason he wanted to meet Hoseok this morning. He wets his lips, eyes flicking over Hoseok’s features. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

Hoseok quirks a slight smile. “You know I’ll always listen to you. What’s up?” he asks, crouching down beside Namjoon, his weight resting on his heels.

Squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath, Namjoon opens his heart to his new friend, hoping the confidence isn’t wasted. “For a long time now, I’ve known that…well, I-I like…not girls.”

“You like knot girls? What’s that? Is that a new comic or something? It sounds kinky.”

Namjoon puffs out his flaming cheeks and shakes his head. “No, it’s uh, not a comic. Not knot girls…but not girls, as in I don’t like girls. As in, I like not girls, but guys.” The words are soft, spoken with trepidation. He watches as emotions flicker over Hoseok’s features before they settle on a soft smile of acceptance.

“Is this how you confess your feelings for me, Joonie?”

Shoving Hoseok’s shoulder playfully, Namjoon snorts a laugh and can’t help but smile. “You wish.”

Hoseok shuffles his feet to keep his balance. “I mean, that’s cool, man. Are you—do other people know, or is this like a secret?”

That’s the hard part. “No one else knows. I’m not sure my dad…” he trails off, rubbing a hand absently over the bruises on his arm.

That sobers the smile on Hoseok’s face instantly. “Right. Okay, that makes sense. Is it hard, you know, to hide that?”

“Hiding is all I can do at the moment. Telling other people—if the wrong people found out…” he trails off. “As much as it sucks, I can’t do that, man. It would mean hell to pay.”

“Would it be as bad as how you feel right now? What’s temporary pain compared to life-long?”

Namjoon knows Hoseok is just probing, curious; making sure Namjoon is thinking about everything. He stands, shoving his hands in his pockets and toeing some loose rocks. “I don’t know. The fallout might not just impact me.��

Hoseok scoffs. “Kitty? What’s she got to do with this? She doesn’t understand as I do. She’s just a stupid girl.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right…” he pauses as he hears a rustle in the leaves behind him before continuing, “but only about her not understanding. She’s not stupid, and she’s not just a girl.” Namjoon narrows his eyebrows, for once irritated at Hoseok. He bites the bullet, breaking your trust, but in a way that he hopes will help Hoseok see beyond the fact that you’re a girl. “If you think these bruises,”—he gestures to the marks on his arm—“are bad, know that they’re nothing compared to what Kitty experiences at the hands of our father.”

Hoseok launches to his feet. “What!?”

Namjoon shakes his head, holding up a hand to stop Hoseok from combusting further. “That’s not the point. All I’m saying is if anyone can understand me, it’s her. I know you just see her as a girl and my annoying sister…but, she’s more than that. I would have told her first, but my main focus right now is understanding what it’s like from a guy's perspective. I need another guy to talk me through it, help me reason out my feelings—a guy I trust.”

There is a distinct change in Hoseok’s body language as he absorbs Namjoon’s words. “Okay, man, I’ll listen. No more bashing on Kitty, I promise.”

_____________

“You told him about Father?” you ask in the quiet following Namjoon’s recollection of that day.

Namjoon turns in his seat to look back at you. Your hands slide from his hair, fingers slicked in pomade, temporarily forgotten. “He’s my best friend, Kitty. I didn’t tell him everything, but enough for him to understand.”

“Okay,” you mumble, chewing on your lip as you mentally go back through Namjoon’s telling.

“Now that I’ve told you everything, what’s so important about that day? What am I missing?”

You can feel heat creeping up your neck and spreading over your cheeks. It wasn’t so bad telling Hoseok about overhearing him and Namjoon that day, but now that you’re faced with telling your brother, it has your heart lurching behind your ribcage.

“That morning, Father asked me where you were after breakfast, and I lied, saying I didn’t know. He strapped me, of course, knowing I was lying. I was so mad at you for sneaking out and putting me in that position.” You shake your head, stopping the interjection you see forming on your brother’s lips. “I went to find you, to tell you off about it. I came upon you and Hoseok by the lake and overheard your conversation.”

“Kitty,” Namjoon says, his brows pinching and his lips turning down. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Well, I only overheard a little bit of the conversation,” you admit. The breath you pull into your lungs does little to soothe you as you continue. “I only overheard a small part…where Hoseok was calling me stupid and telling you I wouldn’t understand because I was just a girl. Then…you said maybe he was right, and well, I left before I heard anything else because I was so pissed off and hurt.”

Namjoon’s eyes go wide in understanding. “You really believed that’s how I felt all these years? Is that why you hate Hoseok so much? Oh fucking hell.”

“Can you blame me?” you ask, shoving your hands back into Namjoon’s hair to continue fixing it. You use your grip on his hair to turn him back to face the mirror. “It’s not like anyone ever listened to me anyway. Not Father, not Mom, and certainly not you.”

“I listened to you,” Namjoon insists. “I’ve always valued what you had to say. You’re the one that shut me out that day. Don’t you remember? I came home, and I could tell you’d been whipped, but instead of talking to me, you pretty much told me to get fucked. You changed that day, Kitty, and I had no idea I did something to cause it. I just assumed you were being a hormonal teenage girl.” You scoff at that. He glares at you in the mirror. “We were kids. What else was I supposed to think?”

That sucks the bite out of the tart reply poised on your tongue. “Yeah, you’re right,” you choose to say instead. Because, as much as it hurts, he is right. It seems you’re just as much to blame as he is, maybe even more so. “Now I really feel like an asshole.”

“Well, yeah,” he lightly laughs. “Fuck, Kitty. Have you really been holding on to this for the last fifteen years?”

“I guess I have. I’m sorry.” You mean it, too. You meet Namjoon’s soft graze through the mirror, finishing the final touch on his hair. “Truly, I am.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He reaches up and catches one of your hands, squeezing it in his. “You’ll always be my sister, but most of all, you’ll always be my best friend. You're still number one, regardless of who else I call my best friend. Don’t ever forget that. I know this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of addressing the last fifteen years of pent-up feelings, but as soon as Jin and I get back from the honeymoon, we’re going to have a sibling weekend, okay? Just the two of us and an industrial-sized box of tissues.”

You reflect the smile on your brother’s face. “I think I’d like that.”

His eyebrows smooth out before they raise slightly as he continues to look at you. “Now, to circle back, speaking of other best friends, I think you and Hoseok need to have a conversation as well. A civilized conversation, as from what you said, you already argued about it.”

You sigh. “You’re probably right. But, right now, there is something far more important to do. You’re getting married in approximately fifty-two minutes, and you’re still not wearing any pants.” You and Namjoon laugh at that, and it feels good. You’re already breathing easier, and the healing has only just begun. “Come on, get up. Let’s finish this.”

🌙🌙🌙

Hoseok

It’s unfair how stunning you are standing across the small foyer from Hoseok. The lilac-colored off-the-shoulder silk dress you’re wearing has small white flowers embroidered along the swooping neckline and along the bottom hem. It accentuates your beautiful body and complements the style of your hair and faint makeup feathered around your eyes.

He watches your toes flex in your open-toe sandals, the nails painted with a small white tip. Everything about you makes his chest feel tight and his breathing erratic. It’s been weeks since he’s been able to look upon you, something he never thought he’d miss as much as he did.

Namjoon stands a few feet away, his hands brushing nervously over his light grey suit jacket. Hoseok’s suit is the same lilac as your dress and matches Namjoon’s in style and cut. His undershirt is a soft white to compliment the white accents in your dress.

The ceremony is taking place in an expansive botanical garden on the backside of the estate venue Namjoon and Seokjin rented for the day. Seokjin waits at the other end of a long garden path that runs right through the blooming roses, all white and purple petals to compliment the silver and periwinkle colors of the wedding party.

Hoseok tries to catch your eye, but you’re focused on Namjoon, waiting for him to cue you to move. He almost misses the flick of Namjoon’s hand and his broad smile. If it weren’t for you taking a step toward Hoseok, he’d be none the wiser.

“Your arm,” you murmur softly, holding out your hand. He stares at it, eyes tracing over the delicate bones beneath what he knows is soft skin. You clear your throat, an urgent but quiet plea to snap out of it.

He offers you his elbow and luxuriates in the faint warmth of your hand sliding into the crook of it. “You look beautiful,” he whispers as he steps with you into the open doorway that leads to the flower garden.

Your eyes meet his from under your lashes, and suddenly, he feels like he can’t breathe. “Quite handsome yourself.” You barely move your lips, but he can hear the soft words. They expand his chest, letting precious air fill his lungs.

Music begins to drift from the garden, beckoning you both forward. He takes small, measured steps, just like he did during rehearsal. You didn’t attend the rehearsal at the same time as he did, so he ended up practicing with Yoongi, who laughed and teased him. According to the snickered comments from Yoongi, he’d also been your stand-in when you practiced earlier that day.

Your fingers clench against his arm, and he can hear the clear labor of your breathing—you’re mildly panicking. “Breathe, slow and calm. It’s a good day, Kitty.”

The sun hangs low in the sky, the garden lit with hanging globes of twinkling lights: a sunset wedding, the perfect union of light and dark, according to Seokjin and Namjoon. Hoseok ushers you down the steps into the garden, the gravel underfoot crunching softly.

It’s a short walk down one of the paths and then a right turn before the pergola with its rose and lily-covered arch comes into view—just enough time for Hoseok to admire you without an audience watching.

His eyes slide over your bare shoulder, taking in the delicate silver chain with the cat charm sitting in the hollow of your throat. Namjoon told him the necklace once belonged to your maternal grandmother, who gifted it to you—along with your nickname—on one of her rare visits to the farm.

You adjust your grip on the small bundle of light purple roses and creamy lilies clutched in your free hand, held just below your breasts. Hoseok can smell your distinct coconut and pineapple scent over the fragrance of the garden. You’ve always reminded him of a tropical paradise, an exotic place of wonder and intrigue.

The sound of you clearing your throat snaps Hoseok out of his mental daydream of you stretched out on a beach, his lips kissing the salt from your skin as the sun—you clear your throat again and give him a pinched look. “Why did you stop?”

He takes a quick step forward, hauling you with him. “Sorry,” he mumbles, not having realized he’d stopped just before the turn.

Plastering a tight smile on his face, he guides you around the turn, and the tension in his lips evaporates, letting his smile mold into a more genuine expression of his excitement. Seokjin—wearing just as fine a suit as Namjoon—waits at the end of the garden path, wreathed in greenery and blossoming petals. A few white chairs with pale purple cushions line the walkway, friendly faces and smiles greet you both as you make your way down the aisle.

By the time you and Hoseok take your place to the side of Yoongi, who’s officiating the wedding, Namjoon appears around the bend in the garden. Hoseok’s best friend is resplendent, made even more so by the faint glisten in his deep, mahogany eyes as he draws closer.

The exchanging of vows is a blur in Hoseok’s mind. He knows he should be paying attention to the sweet words spoken by Namjoon and Seokjin, but his focus keeps drifting to you. Tears slip down your cheeks, and Hoseok has to restrain himself to keep from reaching out and thumbing them away. Instead, he twines his fingers between yours and offers you support and solidarity with occasional, gentle squeezes.

“…I now pronounce you partners for life!”

Hoseok tightens his grip on your hand as he watches Seokjin lead Namjoon down the aisle in a shower of tossed fresh flower petals and heart-shaped punch-out leaf confetti. They pause at the curve leading back to the estate, and Seokjin twirls Namjoon before pulling him into his arms and dipping him for a picturesque kiss. A soft, titillating laugh bubbles from you at the display. It warms Hoseok’s heart to hear you laugh and sound so at peace.

Namjoon and Seokjin disappear around the corner. Jin’s brother and one of his best friends, whom you’ve only met briefly, follow from Jin’s place of honor. Hoseok offers you his arm again to lead you in front of the small crowd that begins to disperse toward the estate, where there will be a small, cozy dinner and social hour before they leave to catch a flight for their honeymoon.

Reluctantly, Hoseok lets you slip away into the crowd once he’s escorted you back through the garden. You haven’t said anything to him since before walking out for the ceremony, and he’s unsure if that’s a good thing. In a way, he misses your clawing remarks and biting attitude. As he idly sips a glass of champagne, he wonders if you found time over the last two weeks to have that conversation with Namjoon.

🌙🌙🌙

It’s not fair. Even after your conversation with Namjoon and your new-found non-hatred for Hoseok, he shouldn’t be able to elicit such a response from you. From the moment you saw him in the foyer, your heart has been doing funny things inside your chest. When he ushered you out the door, he mistakenly thought your erratic breathing was nervousness over the day, when in reality, it was being so near to him and coming to terms with embracing the new way you see him.

You’ve become quite good at masking your feelings for Hoseok under the guise of your hatred for him over the last fifteen years. Initially, it was easier because the disappointment and betrayal were still fresh in your heart. You didn’t realize you had underlying feelings for Hoseok until he moved away a few years ago, and this feeling of emptiness settled into the void his move had created.

Sure, it’s not like he was gone completely. As you’ve lamented many times before, his move made it seem like he spent even more time around you than before. But, it was more so just the fact that life was swiftly moving around you, and after all these years, you’d grown attached to him—in your own twisted, messed up way. Though, to be fair, it’s not your fault he’s devilishly handsome and has the personality of a saint. It’s hard not to like him, even when you hate him.

The wedding speeches and toasts blur by in a mix of emotions. You find yourself listening attentively to Hoseok’s words as he speaks to both Seokjin and Namjoon, reminiscing and wishing them the best. Your own speech, the one you rehearsed for weeks, tumbles from between numb lips and doesn’t have nearly as much unction as it probably should. Everyone applauds nonetheless, and Namjoon and Seokjin capture you between the two of them in a hug.

Once free of the festivity commitments, you find yourself meandering outside and back into the garden. With the sun down, the pleasant coolness of the air helps soothe the warmth that’s seemingly latched itself into your skin.

“You okay?” That voice, the one you’ve been unconsciously seeking out all night, elicits a quickening of your heartbeat. Your pulse batters away in your neck, fluttering so intensely you can feel every throb.

You turn slowly, eyes sliding across the expanse of flowering roses before landing on Hoseok standing a few feet behind you. His hands are in his pockets, the front of his suit jacket open to reveal his dress shirt underneath. The tilt of his chin increases as he patiently waits for you to respond.

You don’t answer him with a lashing tongue for the first time in fifteen years. Instead, you choose the honest, albeit vulnerable, answer. “No. I’m not.”

Your honest response must catch him by surprise because his brow furrows, pinching over his quizzical eyes. “Wait, really? W-what’s going on?” He jerks into action, closing the distance between you and cradling your face, angling your head so he can fully see it. His eyes flick back and forth between yours. “Are you not feeling well?”

You sigh, pressing one of your hands over his and leaning into the touch. “Physically, I’m fine—maybe a little uncomfortable from where the sandals are rubbing my heels, but that’s fairly insignificant to how I feel emotionally.”

“Emotionally?” His forehead smoothes out before he quirks a curious eyebrow.

“Mhm,” you hum softly. You take a step back, pulling away from the hands still framing your face. With your hand still covering his, you twist your fingers so they slide into the clasp of his. “Walk with me for a bit?”

A muscle along his jaw flexes as he searches your face again, looking for what, you’re unsure. “Of course I will.”

Hoseok allows you to lead, guiding him with your hand snuggly fitted into his. His skin is softer than you’d thought it would be. As a hip-hop dancer, you know he uses his hands to perform certain moves and works out extensively. So, the idea that his hands would be at least mildly calloused from the beating they take isn’t outlandish. Though you have seen the plethora of body butters and hemp oil lotions he carries in his bag, so perhaps it shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

“I talked with Namjoon,” you finally tell him after several minutes of silence. The path in the garden that you’re on empties out beside a sprawling stretch of dark water. How fitting, you think, that your confession should happen beside the placid waters of a lake when that’s precisely where your hatred began fifteen years ago. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you the last fifteen years. You didn’t deserve my ire. If I had just talked to Namjoon about it…maybe the years would have panned out a bit differently.” The last part is said quietly as you stop and turn to look up into Hoseok’s eyes, which look even more star-filled than usual.

“Kitty, you have nothing to apologize for. Not when it’s just a misunderstanding. I mean, sure, it might have been nice to spend the last fifteen years differently…but, for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t mind spending at least the next fifteen not being enemies.”

Much like your conversation with Namjoon, that assurance doesn’t fix the last fifteen years, but it does lessen the weight on your chest. It gives you hope for the future and what comes next. “Not being enemies sounds like a good idea.”

“You know, I meant what I said that day in your apartment. I have always liked you—like, liked you.” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, hiding a smirk. “You’ve always been beautiful. But, your passion and drive is something that I’ve always admired, even if it was directed toward making my life hell.”

You laugh. The sound is a bit strained as you work up the courage for your next confession. “Since we’re on another train of honesty…In a weird way, I’ve always liked you, too. I didn’t want to because...how messed up is that, right? But, it’s like no matter how much I hated you on the surface, deep down, I couldn’t fully commit to that feeling. You’ve always been such a light in my life, in Namjoon’s life. Despite how I felt, I knew you would always be there like a beacon shining in a desolate sea.”

Hoseok clears his throat, his eyes briefly flicking away from yours before settling back with an intensity you can’t place. “Um, is it—would it be okay…can I kiss you? Is that weird?”

The lengths of your fingers on the hand not still holding his, tangle into his hair in response. You simultaneously use your grip on his hair and the movement of leaning up onto your toes to bring his mouth to yours.

His tongue teases along the seam of your lips, and you open for him. He tastes like hope. A soft, sweet, and dizzying flavor that has a soft moan sliding up your throat as his tongue meets yours.

Chills fueled by the ecstasy of the moment blanket your skin. Hoseok’s hands land on your hips, securing you firmly against his front. The warmth from his body contrasts with the light bite in the air; it’s comforting and has you pressing even closer to him.

“Hoseok.” Your lips brush over his as you whisper his name. It comes out breathy, like a soft plea.

“I’ve wanted to do that for years,” he admits, another confession shared between you. “I thought about kissing you to shut you up so many times.” You both laugh, airy and light, as you try to catch your breath. “Would you have slapped me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I would have worked out my aggressions sooner…or maybe a bit differently. Hate sex is therapeutic, right?” The words are out before you can stuff them down.

Hoseok's eyes go wide, twinkling with mirth. “Who said anything about sex?”

Heat crawls up your neck and over your chest. “I mean, I was just—it’s not that, well…kissing tends to lead to—“

He cuts you off with another kiss. This one is searing, fast and full of passion. When he finally pulls away, you’re swaying slightly in his arms. “What’s that about kissing?”

“Kissing. Sex.” You pause to try to wrangle your breathing. “Apology sex?”

Hoseok chuckles, the sound dark and wicked in a toe-curling way. “Kitty, are you proposing that I sleep with you?”

Licking your lips, you clear your throat and focus your attention back on his eyes. “Hoseok, are you saying you haven’t thought about that at least once over the years?”

“Avoidance.” He kisses you. “Deflection.” Another kiss. “So what if I have?” He swallows your response, tongue delving into your mouth in a swirl of breathlessness that has you moaning again.

“Stay with me tonight,” you whisper, finally breaking from his lips again. “We have many years to make up for, and it would be a shame to waste any more time.”

The sound Hoseok makes lingers somewhere between a growl and a moan. “We probably should get back before your brother begins to worry about us.” His forehead presses against yours, and his eyes slide shut as he takes a deep breath. “I’ll come home with you if that’s truly what you want. Don’t feel obligated or like you have something to make up for because I would never hold something like that against you or for my own selfish gain like that. Just know that, please.”

The ice around your heart had already begun to melt, but now it’s a surreal phenomenon of the cold cage instantly turning into water vapor. You soften in his arms, letting your body speak as well as your words. “This is a choice made of my own volition. It is what I truly want.”

He kisses your forehead softly before pulling away until he’s only holding one of your hands. “Then I’m all in.”

The walk back to the venue is quiet but comfortable. You’re spinning the last several minutes in your head, reliving each kiss. A tingle still lingers on your lips as Hoseok leads you up the stairs and back inside.

“Kitty! Hobi!” Namjoon disrupts your thoughts. He stops in front of you and Hoseok, having just come from what looks like a bathroom down the hall. “Where have you guys been?” he asks, his eyes flicking down to where your hand is still tucked into Hoseok’s. You try to snatch it away, but Hoseok holds firm.

“We went for a walk,” Hoseok says casually as if that’s something normal you and he would do.

Namjoon’s eyes meet yours, and his eyebrow lifts slightly in question. “Just a walk,” you confirm with an awkward laugh. “Everything’s good, Joonie.” You mean that in more ways than one, and can see the understanding shining bright in your brother’s eyes.

“Glad to hear it,” Namjoon says, his lips tugging into a smirk. “So, should I start calling you brother-in-law now?” Those mirth-filled eyes swing to Hoseok.

Now it’s Hoseok’s turn to try and pull his hand from yours. You squeeze his hand, holding tight. “Whoa, man, that’s—Namjoon, I mean—“

“I’m just messing,” Namjoon teases. “I’m just happy to hear it.”

Hoseok relaxes beside you. “You really don’t mind?”

Namjoon claps Hoseok on the shoulder, a large smile taking over his face. “If I can accept Yoongi being with Kitty, I think I can accept you, too. In that, I think you’re the lesser of two evils.”

“Wow,” you grumble. “Don’t you have a husband to attend to or something?” You give Namjoon a pointed look. “A honeymoon to get to?”

“Mmm,” Namjoon hums, absently bringing his hands together in front of him and twirling his silver wedding band. “I believe you’re right. Getting through security at the airport always makes Jin nervous about making it to the gate on time. We could do with a bit of extra time.”

“You mean extra time for him to fuck you in the backseat of the limo,” you quip. Your brother stifles a laugh, his cheeks burning with a deep blush.

“Yes, well, anyway. You’ll be okay staying here? Have you located your cabin?” The venue they booked also has rooms available for the remaining wedding party, small quaint one-room cottages on the other side of the lake.

You wave a dismissive hand. “All’s well, brother, don’t worry. If I get lost, I’m sure I know someone who will help guide the way.”

Namjoon coughs, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “Right, okay. On that note, I’m going to go find Jin.”

There are a few other guests staying in the venue accommodations, Hoseok being one of them. After Namjoon and Seokjin are showered with more well wishes and hugs, they leave for the airport. You stand in front of the main venue building, watching the taillights of Seokjin’s car disappear in the distance.

“Can I walk you to your room?”

You turn toward the voice. Hoseok is standing at the top of the stairs, his hands casually tucked into his pants pockets. The sight of him, standing there with the flickering gas flame lanterns framing the doorway and casting a halo around him, reminds you of the day he left your apartment after the last argument you had. Except, instead of sadness etched into his features, he’s sporting a soft smile and twinkling eyes.

“Sure,” you agree, making your way up the stairs to him.

Again the walk is silent but comfortable as he walks you along the same path you took earlier in the evening toward the lake. The small cottages are dotted along the backside of the water, their individual walkways and doors softly illuminated with solar garden lights.

“You’re in number seven, right?” Hoseok asks as you approach that particular cottage. “I’m in three.” He jerks a thumb over his shoulder back the way you came.

You glance at him, taking in the way the light breeze coming off the lake ruffles his hair across his forehead. His eyes are locked on the ground, his bottom lip firmly trapped between his teeth. “Seven, yeah, that’s me.”

He looks up, noting number seven is coming up next. “Well, thanks for everything tonight. I’m glad we were able to work through some of it and at least have a better perspective for what tomorrow brings.” Hoseok stops at the beginning of the path that leads to your cottage. There is a moment of pause before his eyes come up and lock on yours. “You really are something special, Kitty.”

That makes you shake your head and laugh softly. “We both know I don’t deserve to hear that just yet. Not for a while at least, not until I make up for at least some of the last fifteen years of treating you like undesirable number one.”

“So, how about we start by getting breakfast together in the morning as act number one in our what’s sure to be an epic love story?” He waggles an eyebrow at you, smiling wide.

Getting breakfast with Hoseok sounds like a beautiful start to putting things on the mend, but there’s another part of you that doesn’t want to wait until the morning. It’s a frantic pulse that bleats deep in your chest, urging you to…”Will you stay with me tonight? Or—is that too much? I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Of course you don’t want to—it’s too fast, and—”

Your stuttery backpedaling is firmly cut off with a dizzying kiss. Hoseok gathers you into his arms, hands sliding along the silk covering your back and over your hips. He tastes faintly of the whiskey he took a shot of with the other guys before Namjoon and Seokjin left. The oaky, nutty flavor compliments the deep groan that vibrates from his chest as your tongue seeks further entry into his mouth. He opens for you, readily welcoming the press of your tongue against his.

“I would love that,” he murmurs between light presses of his lips and soft sweeps of his tongue.

It’s probably a spectacle to be seen, the way you and Hoseok stumble toward the door of your cottage. You fumble between your bodies, searching for the small slip pocket along the side seam of your dress where the keycard is. Hoseok grabs it from your shaking fingers once you have it out and slaps it against the electronic reader.

The reader buzzes, the lock clicking as Hoseok pushes on the handle and swings the door open. He tosses the card aimlessly toward a table by the door and kicks the door shut behind you. “Are you sure about this?” you ask, voice airy and thin as you lean back to get your bearings and breath.

“I’ve never been more certain about something. As long as you are?” Hoseok’s coffee-colored eyes flick between yours, clearly looking for any doubts.

Your top teeth bite into your bottom lip as you meet his gaze. “Help me,” you say, turning slowly to give him your back. “The zipper is hidden in the seam.”

Hoseok takes a deep, shuddering breath. His exhale ghosts over your bare shoulder as he leans in. You feel his fingers trail along the back of your dress, searching for the zipper. He makes an appreciative noise as his fingers pinch around the small metal zip and begin to slide it down, exposing the column of your spine.

The dress falls slack, the fabric drooping and catching on your arms as you raise them to hold the front up over your chest. “You’re so beautiful, Kitty,” he whispers, trailing a finger up to between your shoulder blades.

“Take your clothes off and lay down,” you tell him, turning back around and emphasizing the command with a flick of your hand toward the large four-poster bed.

Hoseok’s throat contracts, and you can hear his audible swallow. His tongue pokes out and moves slowly over his lips before he gives you a subtle nod and begins to shrug out of his jacket.

The lilac fabric puddles on top of his shoes as he toes them off. He leaves a trail of clothing in his wake. Discarded socks, dress shirt, and trousers leave him standing at the foot of the bed in nothing but a pair of tight black briefs.

Even with the dark fabric, you can clearly see the distinct outline of his bulging erection. His eyes drop from yours, angling down as his thumbs hook into the band of his underwear. “There’s no going back after you see my dick, you know that, right?” he asks teasingly, pulling the waistband down to expose an inch of his pelvis and the dark shadow underneath.

You scoff playfully. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

With slow, deliberate movements, Hoseok pushes down his briefs and exposes himself to your curious gaze. Your breath catches in your throat, and you try to cover your gasp with a cough. His eyes snap up to yours as his underwear drops loose around his ankles.

A smirk curls his lips. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

He should. His cock is as beautiful as he is. You can tell it’ll be velvety smooth without even having touched it yet. It curves slightly upward where it bobs in front of him, a clear glistening bead already forming at the tip.

“Get your ass on the bed,” you snap, more teasing than commanding this time.

“Yes, ma’am,” he snarks lightly as he slides backward onto the bed, arms angled back to keep him sitting upright once he’s in the middle.

You step over his discarded clothes, picking your way across the room, kicking off your sandals in the process. Once you reach the end of the bed, you focus your eyes on Hoseok, let out a slow breath, and loosen your arms from across your chest to let your dress fall. The silk settles around your ankles, the fabric feeling both cool and too hot against your skin.

“See something you like?” you ask Hoseok, luxuriating in the smug feelings that come from how gobsmacked he looks. His mouth hangs open, eyes slightly wider than usual.

Your skin pricks under his sweeping gaze, flushing with heat as his eyes trail your naked body—naked because you couldn’t wear anything under the silk dress without unflattering lines and fabric bunching.

“Yes,” Hoseok admits with a shuddering exhale. He boldly licks his lips, eyes following the swell of your breasts and the curve of your hips with appreciation. “Fucking hell.”

“I’m going to ask you some essential questions and set some very important rules. Do you understand?” You roll your shoulders back and straighten your spine, giving Hoseok a look that demands he respond.

His chin jerks in a frantic nod. A slight shine is already covering his forehead, his chest rising and falling rapidly. As you slowly ease your knees onto the bed, on either side of Hoseok’s outstretched legs, you take time to devour the sight of his body entirely.

You’re sure you could spend an entire night tracing the muscled lines of his body, memorizing them with your hands and tongue. He has a dancer's body, chest broad and hips narrow, thighs that you’re certain could support you for hours as you bounce on—fuck—him.

“Nmph,” Hoseok grunts, an unintelligible sound catching in his throat as you spread your legs wider and finally settle against his thighs. You can feel the way his muscles flex under your ass as he swipes his tongue over his lips again. His rigid cock jerks where it rests on his stomach as if trying to rise and seek you out.

You know he can feel the heat of your pussy on his thighs, the sticky wetness of your arousal smearing as you shift from side to side and settle closer. The warmth from his balls settles against your mound, and you sigh in satisfaction.

“Do you know what a safeword is?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever used one?”

“No.”

“We’re going to use one tonight, just to be safe. Do you understand?”

He doesn’t hesitate, the hunger in his eyes saying it before the word falls from his lips. “Yes.”

“You won’t touch without my permission, and you certainly won’t cum unless I say so. Do you understand?”

“I do,” he says, mirroring the words spoken earlier between your brother and his own lover.

“What is your safeword?”

“Purple,” he breathes the word quickly. “Your favorite color.”

You can’t help the quirk of your lips. “You know safewords are supposed to be something personal to you, something that holds meaning in a way that elicits protection in a moment of vulnerability and trust.”

“Purple is personal. It does mean so much to me,” he confesses, eyes fervent with his admission. “It reminds me of you, the person I know no matter how much pain I endure for, you’ll never truly hurt me.”

That has your heart fluttering in your chest will renewed vigor.

“Purple it is, then. If at any time you wish for things to stop, you simply say ‘purple’, and I’ll immediately stop, okay?” you tell him plainly, simply, with intent.

“I understand.” The acknowledgement rings through the room, settling between your thighs with an earnest ache. He slides his arms forward, no longer holding himself up, and lays down.

You lean forward, planting your hands on Hoseok’s chest for leverage as you shimmy your hips. His hands fist into the comforter on either side of where your knees spread around his waist.

“Remember, no touching,” you smirk, catching the way his fingers flex against the bed.

Lifting your ass just enough to slide your slick core over his balls, you settle on his throbbing shaft. You can feel your lower lips spreading, splitting around his cock in a wet, warm kiss. The underside of the head presses against your clit as you rock your hips slightly.

A strangled moan breaks past his lips as they pop open, his lashes fluttering, his eyes roll back, and his back arches slightly. “Fuck,” he pants as his back hits the bed again.

You set a slow, teasing rhythm, grinding yourself back and forth over his shaft. With every backward slide, your clit catches on the head of his cock, and you both begin to whimper from the sensation. “You feel so good.” You peer down at him through your lashes, eyes half-mast as you undulate your hips repeatedly.

Wetness covers his lower stomach, a combined mix of both of your arousals. You can feel how you drip on his cock with each new sweep of your lower lips over it, the teasing pleasure sending fluttery aches along your inner walls.

“Need to be inside you,” he whines. “Please!”

His hips tilt, and the head of his cock catches on your opening, almost sinking in before you pull back and give him a sharp look. “Not until I say so,” you tell him hotly. His chest heaves under your hands, pupils so wide they’ve nearly devoured the coffee color of his eyes. You don’t start moving again until he nods his understanding; precious moments that test your own resolve.

Pleasure ripples down your spine as you begin to move a little faster, seeking that precipice of ecstasy that’s so tantalizingly close. Hoseok flexes his hips under you, adding extra pressure to your clit. You consider admonishing him for it, but it feels too damn good.

To distract yourself, you brush your fingers over his well-defined chest, fingers flicking over his taut nipples. His chest shudders with each pass of your nimble fingers. You pinch one between your fingers, appreciating how his eyes flutter and his teeth gnaw at his bottom lip when you do.

“Fuck. Harder,” he moans. You indulge him, twisting and pinching at his pert nipple until he’s letting out harsh grunts and mewls. “That feels so—ungh—good!”

Leaning down, you lave your tongue over the hot peak of flesh, then blow a cooling puff of air over it. Hoseok jerks under you, and you catch the way his hands almost come up to touch you, but they snap back to the bedspread as he huffs in frustration.

“Good boy,” you murmur, licking at his nipple again before taking it between your teeth and gently tugging.

“If you—ungh—keep doing that—npmh—I’m going to c-cum.” Hoseok tips his chin back, moaning loudly.

“As much as I’d love to test that statement…” you trail off, slowing your hips to a leisurely roll and giving his nipple one final, tiny bite. “A bit of a pain slut, hmm? Maybe next time,” you finally murmur, more to yourself than Hoseok, eyes locked on his now swollen, dark nipple as your thumb soothes it with small circles.

Hoseok cries out a strangled mix of relief and disappointment as you brace up on your knees and lift your wet lips from where they are, hugging his girth. “Please,” he begs softly. “I need you.”

“Wrap your hand around your cock. Hold it up for me.”

He’s quick to obey, sliding a hand under you and wrapping his fingers tightly around his flushed, sticky length. “You have such a pretty pussy,” he says, his eyes drifting from where his hand is holding the base of his cock to your dripping core that is now lowering back down.

You wish you could see what he’s seeing. You’re sure it would be a sight to behold—how your pussy swallows him inch by inch. It has to look as good as it feels. You’re so worked up; it’s an easy slide but still snug enough to make you both exhale shaky breaths as you bottom out, and your walls pulse around him as they adjust.

“Is this why you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate me back?” you whisper, eyes blazing with fire and mischief. “You liked it when I was mean to you. Got off on it, didn’t you?” You tweak his nipple again and slowly begin to fuck yourself on his thick length. “Did it get your dick hard whenever I’d yell or sneer at you?”

His hips roll to meet yours with a satisfying thrust. “You have no idea how often I’ve cum all over myself thinking about you taking a riding crop to my ass or shoving a ball gag in my mouth.” His words are brazen, ragged, and full of honesty. “Is that what you want to hear? You want me to tell you all about my twisted, fucked up fantasies?”

“Yes!” you mewl, increasing your rhythm and intensity. “Touch me.” It’s a low command, but Hoseok hears you as if you’d screamed it.

Resounding twin smacks echo through the room as his hands land on your ass. “Fuck, yeah,” he moans, using the grip on your ass to encourage your movement until you’re bouncing up and down so hard you can feel his cock kissing the deepest part of you.

“Hoseok!” His name tumbles out like a curse, your eyes rolling back and your nails digging into his chest as your orgasm slams through you, taking you by surprise.

“That’s right, baby, oh fuck!” Hoseok slides his arms up and wraps them around you, dragging you down to his chest. His hips continue to work under you, forcing his cock in and out of your pussy’s tight, pulsing clasp. “I’m going to cum inside you,” he mumbles half-coherently.

Warmth floods between your thighs as he jerks and shudders against you. You can feel every throbbing jet of his cum as he releases. “Mmm,” you can’t help the pleasured moan as your body continues to flutter around him, greedily accepting his offering.

“Need to make you cum again,” Hoseok pants.

“Mm, Hos—“ What was going to be a half-hearted protest turns into a soft puff of air as he flips you both, your back hitting the mattress.

“Please, Kitty, please let me worship you just a little longer.” His bright eyes bore into yours, pleading. He looks so strung out, in a dizzying, sexy way, the way he’s slumped over you, as if in supplication for his need to please you.

“Be gentle,” you whisper.

He slowly leans back, chest expanding and hollowing with stilted breaths. His eyes trace a path along your body, followed by his hands. Hoseok molds his hands around the curve of your breasts, down the planes of your stomach and sides, until they’re firmly planted on your inner thighs. With the slightest amount of pressure, he pushes your legs open, exposing where he’s still nestled tightly inside you.

“Oh,” Hoseok breathes. His cock slides out of you slowly. You can feel the thick dribble of cum that follows slide down your ass. A moan works out of him as he catches the drip with two fingers and gently pushes it back into you. “I didn’t think your pussy could get any prettier, but I have to say…it’s a fucking masterpiece full of and dripping in my cum.”

The filthy words go straight to your core, making your walls squeeze and another gush of cum to drip out. He tuts softly, a wicked grin on his face as he repeats the process of pushing it back in. “Mmnh.” It’s your turn to moan as he slowly strokes his fingers in, out, then over your clit. “Hoseok. Please, make me feel good again.”

He growls his approval before burying his face above where his fingers still stroke inside you. The way his tongue dances over and around your clit has that edge barreling toward you almost instantly. You’re still quite sensitive, your body poised for more pleasure. Hoseok licks and sucks at your clit, setting your body alight with tingling bursts of indulgence.

“Cum for me,” Hoseok encourages, renewing his efforts with his fingers and tongue.

It’s a lingering moment, teetering on the edge. But the plunge is swift and all-consuming. Flashes of white spark behind your closed lids as you slam your eyes shut, and your head kicks back, mouth opening in a silent scream. It’s like dancing on moonbeams, floating in a galaxy of hedonistic pleasure, and wrapping yourself in the warmth from the sun that you know as Hoseok.

Hoseok places a last, lingering kiss on your clit, making you shudder, before leaning up and catching your gaze. The bottom half of his face is glistening, a combination of your cum and his. He licks at his lips, giving you a roguish smile. The sound of his fingers pulling out of your still-quivering body is obscene but makes you sigh happily regardless. A pleasant ache throbbing between your thighs is a sure sign that you just experienced far more pleasure than you have in a really, really long time.

“That was…I’m not even sure how to describe it,” you admit, opening your arms in silent command. Hoseok immediately slides into the open space, turning on his side and pulling you with him so you’re chest to chest.

He brushes his lips over yours, peppering you with soft, languid pecks. “I would say it was the perfect fresh start.” He leans back slightly, his eyes finding yours. You can see a sobering moment in them. “I mean that, Kitty. I don’t want this to just be for tonight. I want to make this work…I want to be with you, figure this out together. As long as you’ll have me.”

“I want that, too.”

And, the longer you stare into his eyes, the more you realize that there is no hate left in your heart…all there is, are the stars shining back at you.

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kingofbodyrolls · 7 months ago

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Weee~ This was so good and I can’t wait to read the rest of the chapters!!! The smut was brilliant ✨💯

— off limits | 01 (m)

you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

pairing | kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings | smut, dirty talk words | 11,158

» 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: 07 :: 08 ✓

Keep reading

#bts fic recs #seokjin x reader #reader: female #au: brother's best friend #vibe: smutty #vibe: angst #lissa's favorites

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yoon-topias · 6 months ago

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Yoontopia | Chapter 3 {Dresses and touches}

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: When dress shopping turns into more than just shopping in a dress room where Yoongi pushes boundaries.

⟡5.9k words

Violet Pov:

Getting off work today Yoongi is taking me to go shopping for the dress. Shopping is a pain in the ass let alone being curvy. Everyone stares and nothing looks how it's meant to on my body. I pack my bag up, take off my heels, slide on my boots, a suit and boots yeah that totally looks okay, not. Yoongi has seen me at my worst anyways, there is always this comfortability with him. I don't have to act nor do I have to put up a front. Whatever I'm feeling is what I feel and he accepts it. As I'm about to leave, of course the goons have something to say.

"You going out with that guy again, violet you could do better don't you think?"

"I bet he is using you as a safe goat if he ever gets caught"

That's it they pissed me off, walking up to one of them and sticking my finger in his chest "you know what, Mark you're only saying that because you're friends with Jackson. So what if he makes me happy and actually fucking appreciates me huh? Someone who is a better man than Jackson ever was. So how about you fuck off and let me live, Yoongi brings out the best in me and makes me feel things that Jackson could never. I may be a little selfish, because I wanna keep him to myself but just a little longer and I'll set him free so for fucking once Mark leave me the fuck alone."

They are standing there in shock and slowly back off from me. Fixing my black coat and zipping it up since it can get cold with the wind riding, but what Vi didn't see was Min Yoongi standing there around the corner coming to get you. He wanted to help you hold your bag, make sure you didn't forget and worked late. He doesn't know what you think. You practically confessed your love for him to someone else, but why couldn't you do it to him, and set him free. What does that mean?

He turns around and goes around the hall so you don't see he heard it all, yeah play it cool Yoongi you can ask her later enjoy the time with her while you have it because it can all fall apart in seconds for all he knows. Fixing your coat, grabbing your bag and starting to walk down the hall and needing to say bye to the security guard you always make sure to bring him his banana milk. "Bye Kook, have a good shift." He is a closing shift guard so you get him as he wakes up for the day so at lunchtime you bring him banana milk he loves. "Bye violet, thanks for the drink again. How do I ever repay you?"

Turning to look at him and give him a smile "I don't need repayment Kook, everyone needs someone watching out for them" and you turn on your heels, walking out the door the sun is out shining bright you haven't seen sunlight all day been stuck on research for a case. It's going to be a nice day to be on the bike to get some sun and just feel alive. Smiling as you see Yoongi's bike parked, but no Yoongi now where could that man have gone. He can't go far lost in thought, your brows crease. He is around the corner planning to grab you, scare you always been an easy scare. As you pull out your phone to call him he jumps out and wraps his arms around you from behind.

"Vi, you ready to go try on dresses?" He goes to your ear like he's telling you a secret "I'm gonna need a fix though, because I won't be able to handle seeing you all dressed up. I nearly died when you went to prom" turning your head to look at him your eyes go wide as you see the gummy smile he has on.

"Yoon do you mean that? Why didn't you say anything at prom?" blinking at him and you can see his throat do a gulp. "Well you know you and Hans banned Ma, Pop, and me from saying anything how y'all looked also didn't wanna come off the wrong way to the others Violet'' he shrugs as he looks away from my face he has a slight tinge of red to his cheeks. Cute.

"Well thank you Yoon, but next time you better tell me because that night I felt so ugly even though I was dressed up, but standing next to Hans I knew I wouldn't compare and who had a date? Hans and I was the third wheel"

"You know Vi, I wanted to ask you as friends of course but being already graduated. Also your best friend's brother. I didn't wanna push boundaries. I wished I maned up and asked you cause to spend that night with would have been a fucking dream."

Humming in response not finding words to respond with after he just said turning to him and giving him a hug "Well looks like we'll have a do over Min Yoongi. Let's go shopping"

Pulling away looking at him in the eyes and I see a spark flash in them "I need my fix Vi." Reaching into my pocket and grabbing a lollipop, unwrapping, putting it in my mouth, and running down the stairs. "Looks like you're gonna have to steal it." Yelling as I go down the stairs.

"Vi I swear if you fall and hurt yourself there's no remorse coming from me, you clumsy ass!" he is starting to try and catch up to me getting to the bottom of the stairs before he does and I stare up at him as I take a seat on his bike and pull my lollipop out crossing my arms.

"What took you so long Yoon? Gotta get the dress shopping done so we can make it to the aquarium remember case is closed I won. " giving him a smirk popping the lollipop back in and he rolls his eyes at me.

Yoongi Pov:

This woman will be the death of me. She is in a suit and on my bike waiting for me and I wish I would just go between her legs, grab her face and finally kiss her. Min Yoongi you are just the best friends brother get your mind out of the gutter. "Oh yeah, Vi looks like we gotta find the perfect one for you, then we gotta tell Lewis you won so you can buy him all his lettuce huh?" She nods her head and smile with that fucking lollipop.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

Taking my backpack off to get her helmet out, my bag left mine on her seat. She is looking at me tapping her thighs god those thick thighs. Stop. Yoongi. Zipping my backpack, I intentionally put nothing else in it, grabbing her bag, shoving it into my backpack, setting it next to the bike. I walk up to her and tap her chin to look up at me. She blinks at me with that fucking lollipop.

"Vi you can't have a lollipop in your mouth you know that" she shrugs and blinks at me. "Looks like you'll have to steal it Yoon" I take a deep breath and take everything in me to not lose the control I have had for so long. I bend down to her ear and risk what I'm saying. "Looks like I'll just have to take it then from a bad girl, and bad girls don't get what they want huh?" She turns her head slightly, shakes her head no understanding and her lips part and I reach for the lollipop stick and pop it in my mouth.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

She looks at me like I just did something she never expected. "Violet, you know it's bad to leave your mouth open." Tapping her chin, she just slowly closes her mouth. I put her helmet on her, buckle it for her making sure it's tight enough, the shield is open. I see her wide gray eyes staring at my every movement. God her eyes pull me in and take me to my utopia with those silk sheets over our bodies. She's not just laying next to me but she is on top of my lap and looking at me in my eyes. We could be talking, joking around, or fucking and those eyes will be my weakness. Two of those I can do on a regular occurrence but the other? No it'll never happen and that Vi will live in my utopia in the home she has built there. Her home, it's not mine anymore.

When I get done I bite down on the lollipop, take the stick out and toss it on the ground looking her in the eyes "I'ma need another one later Vi later, but time to go. It's time for my backpack to be behind me" Nodding her head and I push the face shield down, putting the backpack straps over her arms. She stands up. I swing my leg over, putting my arm out for her to grab onto. She swings her leg over, putting her feet on the pegs, scoots down and attaches herself to me. She wraps her arms around me and intertwines her fingers.

I start my bike and give her thigh a tight squeeze

"You ready, Vi. You're gonna look like a fucking goddess" kicking the stand and rev my bike and take off, turning the volume up already having her playlist playing since I was listening to it already. "Yoon you already have it playing. Look what I'm doing to you"

God does she know what she is doing to me.

We have a decently long ride to get to the mall, that just means I get to have her wrapped around me longer.

Violet Pov:

"Hey Yoon you think they'll have something for me" there is nothing ahead of us yet I find his hand making its way to my thigh, his thumb rubbing in circles those black leather gloves. I don't know why But they stir up those butterflies in my stomach. "Violet, sweets they will have the perfect dress for you that will fit all your curves and make you feel like a thousand words.''

Trying to remove your hand and he takes his hand away from your thigh, he places his hand over your hands on his stomach. "No. Violet safety."

"Okay, Yoon I just wanted to hold your hand"

"Oh so you admit it this time, well then here Vi."

He grabs your hand from on top and locks his hand on top so if he needs to use his hand he can quickly take it away. Feeling my cheeks turn red thank god for the helmet, looking at the cars passing by you wish you could see him again like when you would ride behind Hana. "You think Hana would be mad at us? You know being close?"

He squeezes my hand and releases it as he goes to tap my knee to turn left, bracing and leaning my body with him. "Ya know she always said, if she could have you a part of the family she would. Doesn't matter what way that happened."

"What do you mean Yoon, you wanna marry me now?"

"I mean I already know how you taste might as well make you family. Hold on Vi let's have some fun"

He down shifts and takes off on an open bridge, you tighten your thighs and arms and make a scream "I'm gonna get married"

"That you are Vi, one day" he laughs and continues to go as fast. At this moment it feels like it's just us on the road, no one else. He squeezes my right thigh "hard right Vi" and as he follows through with the turn you hold on like never before. Maybe you could get used to this with him.

Hell do you even need a bike anymore?

Was that crush you made yourself push deep down worth it now?

Yoongi Pov:

Grabbing and squeezing her knee one more time as we pull into the mall to go shopping, she squeezes a little tighter today. This banter we have goin' on I can't read too much into it. I can't let myself fall and stumble I have came too far and even if that means loving her from a distance and just have some fun I will. We pull into a spot and kick the stand, putting my arm out for her to swing her leg over and get off. She comes and stands in front of me waiting for me to take her helmet off. I get off my bike, take my helmet off and smooth out my hair. She comes and sits on my seat as I set my helmet on her spot.

Tapping her chin "Look up at me, Vi" she tilts her head up unbuckling her helmet, taking it off her head, and smoothing out her hair for her. "There you go pretty"

Her mouth parts and she looks at me like she is in shock I called her pretty. "Vi, you know you're gorgeous right? I have always thought that since the first time I laid my eyes on you." she shakes her head at me "You never said Yoon."

"But didn't my actions ever show you, silly?" She looks at me confused, her brows crease looking for an answer in her head. Stepping forward as she sits on my seat putting myself in between her thighs as she bites her lip nervously. Fuck hold it together Yoongi.

"Violet look at me right now" she locks eyes with me, those gray eyes staring back at me searching for answers she has never noticed. I'm going to lay them all out for her.

"Violet Rose. Did you ever notice how I would literally stare at you anytime you were in our house. when you learned how to backpack, how I was insistent you ride with me because I didn't want no guy to think they could have you, how I literally called you princess all of middle school? Huh? You think it was just to bother you Violet? No it was because your beauty is otherworldly. You hear me Violet. I want you to say it back tell me. Tell me you're beautiful"

Grabbing her hips, pulling her off my bike, Putting my fingers under her chin to look at me. She is blinking at me in shock. I know I said too much may have gone too far, but I can't stand and watch her not love herself. "Y-you said my middle name you never use it Yoon"

"I'm waiting, Violet Rose."

"I- I'm b-beautiful."

"See, was that so hard, Vi?"

Nodding her head "Yeah, it was everyone besides you and Hans told me I was ugly Yoon."

Placing my hand on her cheek and rubbing up and down. "Well maybe that's cause' we're the only ones who matter. We see you for you. Now let's go get you that dress. I know that body of yours has changed and I'm ready to see it in all of its glory"

"You sure Yoon? Cause' I have done my own damage to my body"

"Vi what do you mean, huh?"

"I guess, You'll see Yoon."

"So help me god Violet, if it's what I think you're gonna see another side of me" she places her hand on top of the hand that's on her cheek and pulls it down. "Promise me, no pinky promise you won't see me different" she is holding out her other pinky waiting for me to kiss, accept it.

"Violet Rose I'll never see you differently you're still the same girl I met all those years, from my sister who never left me alone. I accepted it. I Accepted you the day I met you. You are in my life for a reason."

Holding out my pinky to her not knowing what I'm committing to, but with her I'll walk to hell and back on my knees. Locking our pinkies together looking her in the eyes and placing a kiss on my pinky as she does after me and stamping out thumbs together.

"Pinky"

"Swear"

"Time to go shopping, Vi. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be Yoon"

I grab the backpack from her and place her Helmet inside. Choosing to leave mine on the bike if it's stolen I don't care as long as she has a helmet that's what matters. I hold my hand for her to walk into the mall. I see her chest rising up and down. Why would dress shopping be so nerve wracking I know it's hard for her to find sizing which is honestly fucking bullshit it's a body it shouldn't be ashamed, left out but that's another topic. She wraps her whole fist around my pointer finger.

Something about her being small makes me smile, yeah we are crossing some boundaries, but maybe it's time to do it. It's been over twelve years in the making. It's time I need to step up to the plate and take the risk. As we walk into the mall she is by my side and I see the nervous little girl who would walk into her homeroom class looking back at me like she was going into hell after I encouraged her each and every year to just take the first step into class if she wasn't with Hans. I'm going to make this the best shopping trip she has ever had.

"How about we go get a snack, Vi?" Looking down at her. She smiles and hums in response.

"Smoothies Yoon!"

"Yeah we can get smoothies bubs."

Violet Pov:

Walking into the store we both have smoothies. We both got orange, mango, and pineapple. There are dresses lined everywhere. I start to look where my sizing is always the smallest section. Hopefully they have something either black or white since it's black and white theme. "Yoon, do you have your outfit?"

"Don't worry about me Kay? Today is for you" what you didn't know was that the night he came home he called Jin on his way home, told him about it and said he needed help and of course Jin called Hobi over by the time he was home he was already there. They stayed up all night going through what Hobi brought and all the closets in the house to find the perfect outfit that is not a suit. He'll wear whatever, but a suit? No chance in hell unless vi asked it of him.

"Hey Yoon you go take a seat and I'll shop around okay?"

"Will that make you comfortable or are you saying that because you feel bad I'm here?"

Slowly holding out my hand with my index and middle finger out "Uh number two."

"Well then I'm staying."

Well that is Yoongi should've guessed it, stubborn as always.. I start looking at the dresses their is a small section and I see few dresses that would go with the theme already grabbing them off the rack without even checking what they look like since you know one of these you'll be stuck with, and as you grab the three dresses off the rack Yoongi's hand comes and take the hooks in your hand. "You will never carry your own stuff when you're with me Vi." your cheeks turn a light pink, you take a sip of your smoothie as he starts to walk to the dressing room area. He looks so comfortable doing this with you. How?

Going to an empty dressing room he walks in, hangs the dresses up for you. Looking at him as he comes to you. He is wearing something different than his normal all black. A pair of dark washed jeans, light gray hoodie, a sweat shirt on top of it with some design on it and a black jacket. He always has to have his black jacket. "Hey Yoon you can go look around at some other stores if you want"

He walks out the dressing room and look you dead in the eyes. "And what if I wanna be in this store you gonna kick me out, Vi?" He comes and gives you a hug. You accept it yeah you backpack him a lot riding, but this feels different when he comes up to you to hug you, wraps you up in his arms. He runs his hand through your hair and takes a deep breath, you can hear his heart beating fast.

"Now I wanna see those dresses on you, Vi. Only if you let me." Nodding your head to him in his chest it feels nice to be close to him why? No, that stupid crush needs to be buried six feet under and never see light again. "I'ma need a fix. You got another lollipop?"

Reluctantly unwrapping your arms around him reaching into your pocket, taking the lollipop and unwrapping it putting t it in your mouth. "I told you I'm a sugar addict Yoon."

Pineapple your favorite flavor.

He looks at you like you just stole his heart, his eyes flash, you see the glossy eyes he is staring at you with and he slowly steps forward. You back up with each step he takes, finding yourself against the wall. His hand finds its way to your hip. He looks down at you, yeah you have been close but like this? Never. "Violet you know you can't take my lollipop" he slowly bends down to your ear "Do you wanna be forever on the back of my bike, because that can be arranged wife" lips parting looking at him and he takes the lollipop stick from you and pops it in his mouth.

Yoongi Pov:

Giving her hip a squeeze "Now go try on those dresses I'll be out here waiting. If there's one you don't want me to see then don't show me, but I know you'll look perfect in every one"

There is no chair so I squat and clasp my hands together waiting to see what she's gonna look like. I haven't seen her dressed up since prom and god did I go to heaven and back that night. "Ugh" I hear from the dressing room. "Vi, you good?" About to stand up to check on her but she speaks up as I'm about to "Just one will only work Yoon I should have looked at the sizes, but they were in the spot"

"That's okay Vi I'm sure it'll be perfect" I hear her sigh and I know it's tough on her, but if my only mission in life is to see her love her body I will. What Yoongi doesn't see in the dressing room is you're struggling with the zipper. You can't zip it up to the top, your arms are too short.

"Uh Yoon can you help with the z-zipper?"

Standing up to walk to the dressing room I hear the click of the door unlocking and as I open it she is standing there, hands covering her body as much as she can. God I can't even see the whole thing it's perfect. It hugs your waist, wrapping flawlessly around your body to show the road map that people will have to work for. That I need to work for. Pulling your arms down I need a full view. Eyes searching and roaming all over your body, I want to picture you like this forever. Taking a few steps forward after I shut, lock the door behind me. How could anyone as beautiful as you could think you're a monstrosity you're fucking devine.

"Turn around, Vi please" she turns around as she does. I see her backside the way the dress hugs every point of her body, just waiting for someone to learn the road map. "So beautiful" I whisper to myself. Stepping up to her she is staring at the corner to not look at herself in the mirror. I slide my fingers down her back and her skin gets goose bumps on her upper arms. Cute.

Grabbing a hold of the zipper and zipping it up to the top of her back.

"You're gorgeous, Vi"

"Stop, you're just saying it Yoon."

"I'm fucking serious Violet Rose" I pull her close to me and make her face the mirror, run my hand down her arm. I see the blush to her cheeks, the pin prick goose bumps on her arms, the gaze trying to not look at herself. Trailing my eyes down her body, I see the slit and her hand trying to cover her thigh, pulling her hand away her soft skin is shown..I see something I never thought I'd see on her body scars.

What did she do...when...how long? Answers I need but right now I need to make feel like she is the most beautiful woman ever. We all fight our demons, I'm trying to fight hers and mine for both of us.

Putting my hand under her chin giving her a light tap, making her look at herself in the mirror. Our eyes lock in the mirror. I'm behind her in an intimate way, closer than I have been with her. Yeah she has been behind me but this right here is intimate before it was because we had to. I let go of her chin, eyes still locked, moving my other hand to her hip.

"Look at you, Violet.'' God she is gorgeous. Running my hand down her arms, brushing lightly down. Our hands meet, dancing with her fingers tapping. Breathe Yoongi dont show her you're freaking out slightly.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

She takes a breath and it brings me back a little bit. I'm going to push this boundary to show her how gorgeous she is. Let her know I see now what she meant when she said to promise to not think of her differently. My finger skims from her fingertips to her hip, nudging my nose to her neck "Look how pretty you are, huh? I want you to say it." as my fingers get lower on her hip she sucks in as I get closer to the slit. "Yoon, you didn't see okay" looking at her in the eyes I can see the worry behind those wide gray eyes, but also a nervousness to them. If she was touching me in any way I'd be pushing it all down to hide what she is making me feel. My weaknesses aren't shown that easily, but I think she already has a gasp on being a weakness of mine.

"We'll talk about this later Violet, but right now I want you to see how beautiful you are" my fingers caress her thigh that is exposed rubbing circles on the scars that she did to herself. She is fighting some inner demons in front of me. I can see in those eyes the way her body is stiff.

"I- I'm beautiful" she left out a little laugh at the end not because it's funny but she can't believe she is saying it let alone have Yoongi behind her guiding her to love herself.

"That's it." giving her nod she did it. "Say it again, go on." She fixes her posture which only allows me to be closer to her.

"I'm beautiful" and at the end she makes a small smile looking at herself up and down. This is not how a friend nor a best friend's brother talks to someone, but right now I'm more than that. "Bout' time you see it, Vi."' Giving her thigh a squeeze is what she feels like when I give her a squeeze for a turn. I see the goose bumps spread to her forearms now. "Good job, Princess." Pressing a kiss to the back of her head "Did I make you uncomfortable, Vi? I never want to do that" she shakes her head no relief casts over both our bodies.

I'm playing with fire, and neither of us need to get burned. Well I can get burned, I'll accept my fate.

Giving her one last squeeze, whispering in her ear. "It's the one Vi. Let's go get you a necklace to match" and as I'm about to step out I unzip the dress, unlock the door, stepping out to the side shutting the door standing in front of it. I Rest my back on the door. My heart is beating out of my chest, catching up to me. What's wrong with me? I have always been good with girls. never panicked before. Taking a deep breath fuck I need a cig I'm getting an addicted. Knocking on the door "Vi I need a fix." I hear my heartbeat trying to take me out. She hums in response, opening the door. She stands there with a dress in her arm, a lollipop unwrapped waiting for me to take.

"I think You're getting addicted Yoon."

"Oh you have no idea, Vi."

Taking the lollipop from her hand she bites her lip as I pop it in my mouth. I grab the dress from her arm turning on my heels to go pay for it, she grabs my arm I turn around confused "You can't buy it Yoon. I make enough money."

"And what kind of second prom date would allow a queen to buy her dress? Huh?" Continuing to walk to the counter setting it down to pay she is in her pouting stage. I have seen it so much her bottom lip puckered out, her brows crossed looking at me. After I pay, I take the bag off the counter. "Thank you, sir" nodding in response to the cashier. I don't have time to pay attention to anyone other than the girl behind me with her arms crossed like a child.

Violet Pov:

As we walk out the store I'm holding onto the straps of the bag he is too, these strings connecting us together like magnets. Yoongi is walking a little faster than me leading the way. I stop walking which in turn makes him stop turning back as we are both holding the bag.

"Hey what's up?"

"Did. Did you mean it Min Yoongi?" He steps up in front of me, places his hand on my cheek as I look up to him. "Every single word, every single touch Violet Rose. Now let's go get you that jewelry"

He slowly lets go of my face and I see so much behind those eyes they tell a story I know he struggles, just doesn't say. Walking into the store and looking at all the cases my finger skims over the glass like a child picking out a toy. Staring down at a pair of necklaces that have a little silver square on the end with two keys next to it. It looks like the couple type. It makes you push all those feelings down again, bury them six feet under, turn around and Yoongi is no longer standing behind you. Seeing him at the same case you were looking at with a sales lady. "Can I just do some earrings Yoon?" he is talking to the sales lady, Just nods his head.

"Whatever you want, Vi." he smiles at me. Pointing to a pair of small silver hoops "These ones Yoon." he nods his head and tells the sales lady to ring them up.

"Now you go outside and wait."

"Why?"

"I know you'll die when you hear the price." of course you will even though you have a good salary you're still stuck on buying the cheapest things you can find or they have to be on sale to justify the purchase. Nodding your head, going out to the front sipping on the smoothie which is most gone, walking to the trash can taking the last few sips of it. "Did you forget about me?"

"Huh? No I just drank it all"

"Where's the bag? Were they too expensive, I knew it."

"No, Miss cheapskate, they are in my backpack. I didn't want anyone to try and steal the bag from my hand."

"Oh."

He takes hold of the strings on the bag again but this time locking our pinkies together holding the strong together. "Thank you, Yoon."

"Hey you have nothing to thank me for I'll always be here for you like I have always been since the day I met you."

The doors open to the exit of the mall and as we exit I shield my eyes from the sun. "Oh I can't wait to have my helmet on." Reaching into my pocket, grabbing a lollipop, unwrapping it with one hand and popping it into my mouth. Okay I got an addiction, but at least it's not drugs.

Walking up to the bike I let his pinky go, slow down and get behind him and start to unzip the Backpack but he stops me.

"I'll get it, Vi."

"Fine, don't let me help."

"Ya know its not that it's just don't want you to drop the jewelry bag miss clumsy."

FIne I give him that I'm so clumsy. He takes out my helmet, putting the backpack now on my shoulders since it's the only job he lets me do ever. He takes the dress bag from my hand and places it very carefully into the bag and zips it up. "It's all good, now give me my fix." holding out his hand for me to give him a lollipop. I take out mine and hold it out for him, he doesn't reject it but leans in capturing in his mouth.

He taps my chin, placing the helmet on my head. I always find myself looking at him when he does it. His focus is on making sure it's right when I could easily do it myself, but he insists every time to do it for me. Once he is done I hear the crack of him biting down on the lollipop "I'm addicted to it, Vi."

"Huh?"

"To you. To pineapple" once he says that he shut the face shield and gives my head the shake to make sure it's on tight enough. He will be the end of me, but already I'm dead buried myself six feet under long ago. He puts on his helmet, gets on his bike holding his arm out and I get on behind him. I get closer to him might as well push more boundaries, giving him a squeeze he hums in response to me "I think I may be addicted to the way you make me feel Min Yoongi"

"What?"

"Nothin' let's go tell Lewis momma made him money for his lettuce."

"Ya know I heard you, Vi."

"I'm sorry this helmet makes it hard to hear."

"You know damn well we have mics and speakers connected to each other, I'll let it pass this once."

He turns his bike, gives me a squeeze, revs his bike and we're off to go to my happy place.

But my happy place is whenever I'm with him lately.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

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All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

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bangtanficsforyou · 1 year ago

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TRYHL (Wattpad)

I'm cross posting TRYHL and here's the link to it if you'd like to read it on Wattpad!

#Jin angst #Yoongi angst #Namjoon angst #Hoseok angst #Unrequited au #BTS reactions #bts ot7 #Bts scenarios #Wattpad #Fic: TRYHL #Best friend au #Brother's best friend au #Arranged marriage au #Dance instructor au

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colormepurplex2 · 1 year ago

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The Stars In His Eyes...The Hate In Your Heart | A Ray of Fucking Sunshine

↳Hoseok x f.Reader ⤜ Non-Idol, Brother's Best Friend, Enemies to Lovers ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: 7,209 ⚠️ Crass language, hurt feelings, BIG misunderstandings, mild childhood misogyny, childhood abuse-descriptions of welts made by a belt, alluded to parental homophobia and fears of coming out, shared trauma

Next Chapter⇾ ◅ Back to series masterlist

Mad doesn’t even begin to describe how you’re feeling right now.

“You can’t do this to me.”

Your brother—your twin—the one person you’ve always been able to count on, seems to be out to ruin your life.

“Kitty,” Namjoon sighs your childhood nickname with a mild hint of annoyance. “Stop being dramatic. You know this isn’t about you at all.”

Your nose scrunches up. “Dramatic? Joonie, you’re literally asking me to spend the next month proverbially attached to the one person you know I hate.”

“Hate is a strong word,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

It is. But it’s the only one that comes to mind when you think of Jung Hoseok and how you feel about him. It’s not that there’s anything genuinely wrong with him—not really. There are just things—certain events and certain feelings—that you associate with him that you’d rather not think about right now.

You’ve known him for a long time, as he’s your brother’s best friend. A sentiment that makes you sneer and grumble to think about. It still leaves you baffled how Namjoon—the sensible and calm giant he is—befriended such a quirky and persistent person; how Namjoon could continue to choose him even now. They say opposites attract, sure. But, come on, how much more polarizing can two people get before it becomes something from the Twilight Zone?

When Hoseok moved away a few years ago, you thought you’d finally get a break from his constant presence and that niggling in the back of your mind as your emotions and feelings warred with one another. But you’ve never been more wrong. If anything, the distance between Namjoon and his best friend caused them to become clingy and desperate for each other's company.

Every other weekend, Namjoon leaves your shared apartment to drive the four hours south to see Hoseok. Which means, on the weekends he doesn’t drive down…Hoseok drives up. It’s infuriating to share your space with him because, obviously, Namjoon isn’t going to force him to stay somewhere else, even though you’re sure that Hoseok’s parents would be more than accommodating for their son to stay with them.

Now, as if the weekends weren’t torture enough, Namjoon is asking you to spend the next month in near-constant communication with his best friend. Sure, it’s to help plan Namjoon’s wedding, but still. There has to be another way.

Your stomach churns sourly with the thought of spending so much time with Hoseok. “I can’t do this, Namjoon. Why does there need to be two of us?”

He sighs, shaking his head. “You’re acting like a petulant child right now.”

You want to defend yourself, but you know he’s right. You are acting like a petulant child right now. But what else did he expect, honestly? It’s not like you can tell him the truth about why you would rather not spend time with his best friend.

“He’s going to drive me insane. Don’t you care about my sanity?” You cross your arms over your chest, glaring at him across the living room.

The apartment you share with Namjoon is nice, with plenty of space for the two of you to not get under each other's skin too much–as long as a particular jerk isn’t also infiltrating the space. But, right now, it feels like the walls are closing in on you.

“Look, I know you guys don’t get along, but this is for me. You’re my best friend, but so is he. I want you both to be there, standing beside me when I join together with Jin. Don’t let your bizarre dislike for Hoseok ruin this for Jin.”

The fact he’s bringing Jin into this takes the wind out of your sails. “Fuck. Why did you have to bring Jin up? You know I can’t resist when you do.”

If Jung Hoseok is the dark cloud hanging over you and Namjoon, Kim Seokjin is the sun breaking through the haze. You liked him instantly, knowing he was the perfect match for your brother. Five years later, they’re finally getting married, and that’s how you find yourself in your current predicament.

“It’s true, Kitty. Can’t you set aside your differences with Hoseok for a few weeks while we navigate these plans?” Namjoon gives you a pleading look, eyes large and lips dipping down on either side.

You throw your hands up in the air. “Fine! But, I swear if he cops an attitude with me, I won’t hesitate to use brute force.”

Namjoon beams at you, laughing like what you said was a joke. You couldn’t be more serious. If Hoseok so much as looks at you wrong, you’re going to unleash hell on him.

☀️☀️☀️

Hoseok

Taking a month off of work is easy when you’re your own boss and make your own schedule. But, if it’s so easy, why is it that Hoseok finds himself feeling uneasy about it? Oh, right. It probably has something to do with the dozen angry text messages he received from you in the last twenty-four hours. You’ve sent everything from the middle finger emoji to paragraphs of scathing thoughts, mostly revolving around how he’s not needed, and you’re fine to do it all on your own.

In a way, it’s working…he’s tempted just to say fuck it. But, the disappointment that would come from Namjoon outweighs the angst bleeding from you. In all the years he’s known you, he’s never quite been able to pinpoint what exactly your problem is with him. He’s confident he’s always been nice to you. Sure, he was a bit of a shit when he was a kid, but what boy isn’t? After he realized girls, in fact, didn’t have cooties, he was as welcoming to you as he was to Namjoon—or so he believes, at least. He’s chalked it up to just annoyance over his place in Namjoon’s life. Case in point, the latest cascade of texts you sent berating him for infringing on your place as Namjoon’s person of honor.

Pushing away from his desk, Hoseok brings a hand up and rubs it over his eyes, willing the migraine he feels coming on to go away.

“You okay in here, Boss?” Jimin’s bright voice calls from the open doorway to Hoseok’s office.

Dropping his hand down, he plasters on one of his winning smiles. “I’m fine. Just trying to figure out if taking a month off is actually realistic.”

Jimin adjusts the small black duffle bag on his shoulder, leaning his hip against the door jamb. “Are you not confident in my abilities to lead the classes?” There is a hint of amusement in Jimin’s words. This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation.

“It’s not that. You know it’s not.”

“Kitty?” Jimin ventures to ask.

Hoseok sighs. “Is it that obvious?”

“What’s her deal, anyway? Did you break her Barbies when you were kids or something?”

That makes Hoseok laugh. “I wish it was that simple. I honestly don’t really know. She’s just always had it out for me. I used to think she was just jealous of mine and Namjoon’s friendship, but the older we got, the less it made sense. They’re siblings. They’ve barely spent a handful of days apart at a time. He’s even made her his ‘best man’ for the wedding.”

“I thought you were the best man?” Jimin asks, confusion etching his face.

Hoseok leans back in his desk chair, perching his elbows on the armrests. “I am. Well, we both are. Namjoon wants us to share the position, which is definitely not helping in the Kitty department. She’s livid and takes it out on me as if it’s my fault.”

“Huh,” Jimin says. “Interesting.”

“I tried telling Namjoon that I’d rather just attend the wedding and that I don’t need some place of honor to let Kitty have it, but he insists. So, here I am, trying to navigate the maelstrom of hate texts I’m getting from her and debating whether or not I should fake sick for the next month. Or I could make up some excuse about not being able to get away from the studio. We do have the annual showcase in two months. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done—“

“Stop right there. You won’t use this studio as an excuse, especially when it’s not even a valid one. The showcase is fine. Taehyung and I are more than capable of keeping things afloat around here while you’re away. And if anything happens, Jungkook is just a phone call away.” Jimin flicks his hand in the air as if dismissing the conversation.

Hoseok’s brows dip down. “Having an EMT on call isn’t exactly an all-encompassing problem solver…but okay,” he mutters.

“No, but he’s pretty to look at, and that’s fine for me,” Jimin snarks, laughing. “Okay, I’m out. Stop worrying so much. For real, everything will be fine here. Enjoy your trip tomorrow, and I’ll see you when you return.”

Throwing up a hand, Hoseok waves goodbye before Jimin disappears down the hall. He knows Jimin is right. Everything will be fine at the studio in his absence. He’s spent the last several years curating the perfect team; he knows they’re competent. Spending an entire month with the tempest you’ve grown to be makes him hesitate to leave his safe harbor. He’s worried about crashing against a rocky shore and being marooned in the dark with just a look from you.

Not for the first time does Hoseok wish he could hate you as much as you hate him. That’s an impossible feat, though. He’s tried so hard over the years, but there’s just something about your fiery attitude and sneering glares that does something to him—something he’s never admitted out loud and probably never will. The fact you’re Namjoon’s twin sister doesn’t help that matter either. He’s unsure how his best friend would react to such knowledge. All the more reason Hoseok needs to keep a level head over the next few weeks.

Taking one final look around his office, Hoseok shuts down his computer, locks his desk drawer, and grabs his gym bag from the corner. “Let the fun begin,” he mumbles to himself as he heads out of the dance studio he’s spent years building from the ground up. It’s his pride and joy, the one thing he wanted most out of life. Well, one of the things.

☀️☀️☀️

“Can you chew quieter?” you seethe, fingers tightening around your chopsticks.

Hoseok’s cool gaze slides your way. He works his jaw for a moment and then swallows. “Excuse me?”

You vaguely gesture with your chopsticks in his direction. “You’re chewing really loud. Can you not?”

“It’s dumpling soup. There isn’t much chewing involved.”

“Well, it seems you’re doing it wrong because I can hear you very much. Too many mouth noises. It’s annoying. So, just stop.”

You knew this was a bad idea when you agreed to meet him for dinner to start working on the wedding plans for Namjoon. Hoseok just grunts in response, dropping his attention back to his bowl. You watch as he ladles a spoonful of the rich broth and brings it to his mouth. His lips have a slight sheen on them from the chili oil he added. It’s hard to look away, your eyes locked on his lips as they part. You catch the tiniest glimpse of the tip of his tongue as he tilts the spoon, and his lips mold to the curve of it.

Tearing your eyes away, you clear your throat and try to focus on the bowl of rice and meat on the table in front of you. Your appetite for the meal is gone, despite the low grumble you can feel churning in your belly, replaced by another sensation you won’t give a moment of thought to. Shaking your head, you dispel that odd line of thinking and force yourself to take another bite of food. It’s tasteless, like ash on your tongue as you chew methodically. This was definitely a bad idea.

The remainder of the meal passes with an awkward tension in the air. You’re on edge, just waiting for Hoseok to do something else to piss you off. But he’s begrudgingly not being annoying right now. You can tell he’s even taking more caution to chew his dumplings slowly to ensure he doesn’t make a sound, not even a soft slurp of the broth. It’s weird to feel guilt. It’s not an emotion you’re familiar with regarding your brother’s best friend. Right now, though, it’s eating away at you with every moment that goes by. Maybe you should put forth more effort to get along with Hoseok—for Namjoon’s sake.

Your thoughts are still swirling, flopping back and forth between whether your guilt is justified or not, when Hoseok pushes aside his empty bowl and sighs. The soft sound and movement draw your attention. “Namjoon said he was going to give you a list of the things he and Jin would like for us to take care of. Do you have it?”

“Of course I do.” As if you’d be so careless and forget. You abandon your half-eaten meal, shoving it to join Hoseok’s empty bowl. “It’s an entire notebook.”

You reach under the table and grab the messenger bag you brought with you to the quaint restaurant Hoseok suggested meeting at. Your table is set in a far back corner, away from the majority of the noise of the establishment. Flipping back the top flap, you slide out the thin green notebook and set it on the table. The cover is faded, the once bright green now a pale mossy color. The edges are worn, the paper soft under your fingers as you gently open it to the first page.

“How old is this thing?” Hoseok asks, fingering one of the tattered corners.

It’s on the tip of your tongue to snap at him and pull the notebook away from his probing finger, but you remember your earlier thought about playing nice. “Namjoon has had this notebook since we were sixteen. He started writing down everything he wanted in a wedding. He’s changed a few things, added stuff, and even ripped pages out over the years, but everything he wants is here. When Jin proposed last year, Namjoon gave this notebook to him so he could go through it and make his own changes or additions. I haven’t looked through it since then, but from what Namjoon told me, there are only a few changes.” The fond memories help soften your demeanor at the moment.

“Wow, he never told me about it.” It almost sounds like there is disappointment or even mild jealousy in Hoseok’s tone. Usually, you’d feel invigorated by the fact Namjoon shared something with you and not Hoseok, but it’s a lackluster feeling now.

“It’s not exactly something he wanted to wave around and show to the world.” You’re not sure why you’re telling Hoseok this, but the story just emerges. “I remember when our father found it under Namjoon’s bed. He was so…confused and mad.” You idly flip through the first few pages, pausing briefly on the magazine clippings and drawings Namjoon included. “A notebook that more than alludes to two men getting married,” you say softly. “The day Namjoon showed me this book is the day he told me how he really felt, how he liked guys more than girls. Dad found it just a few months after that. His reaction scared Namjoon to the point that he didn’t want anyone else to know. Not for a long time, at least.”

Hoseok makes a quiet, pained sound. “Yeah…” he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. “I hate that he felt like he couldn’t be himself, but I know how he felt…my own parents haven’t exactly been supportive of my personal, romantic choices. I’ve lost count of how often they’ve asked me when I will marry a woman.”

Your eyebrows rise. “I didn’t know you…um, well, I guess I just always assumed you—that is to say, I didn’t know you liked guys or…” you trail off, shrugging your shoulders and shaking your head. “Nevermind. I’m sorry.” It’s weird, the sliver of disappointment that worms its way through your belly.

His laughter breaks the suddenly thick atmosphere. “I’m just me. I like who I like, regardless of what’s in their pants.”

“Yeah?” you ask, your lips curling into a smile before you can stop them.

“You have a beautiful smile.” The breath of his words caresses over your lips and chin.

“What?” You jerk back in your seat, not realizing you are leaning in so close over the notebook. “Ew, don’t say stuff like that.”

Hoseok laughs again. “Sorry, I just don’t get to see your smile all that often, I guess. It’s nice.” He shrugs, his own smile tugging at his lips. Tapping a finger on the open notebook, he draws your attention to it. “Tell me more about this notebook. What should we look into first?”

Shoving down the fluttery feeling in your belly, you train your gaze on the notebook and try to get lost in the dialogue of flowers, silk, and tulle.

☀️☀️☀️

Hoseok

Hoseok decides to split his time between staying with you and Namjoon and with his parents. He stays with his parents for the first two weeks, meeting with you almost every evening to discuss plans and make appointments. He’s only managed to catch Namjoon and Jin for drinks a handful of times. They’re both busy preparing their new house, which’ll hopefully be ready once they return from their honeymoon. It’s partly why Namjoon asked Hoseok and you to take care of most of the planning. Something Hoseok doesn’t mind. He just wishes you held the same sentiment.

Each additional hour he spends with you has his outer shell hardening. Last night it seemed you were so hell-bent on pushing his buttons that he actually yelled at you. The words ‘go fuck yourself’ still linger like an echo in his mind. He stormed out of your apartment and immediately called Yoongi, a friend he shares with Namjoon…who also happens to be your ex. Namjoon was busy with Jin, and Hoseok didn’t know who else to turn to.

The rest of last night is a whiskey-laced blur. Now, he’s sitting on Yoongi’s couch with his head in his hands, wincing at every little sound Yoongi makes in the kitchen. Hoseok knows he should probably text you to apologize, but he’s sure the light from his phone screen would make him hurl right now.

“Why did you let me drink so much last night?” he calls to Yoongi, cringing at the loudness of his own voice.

A derisive snort sounds from the kitchen. “You’re a grown-ass adult. Besides, I’m pretty sure you got into my liquor cabinet again after I went to bed. Drinking over a girl is never good anyway.”

“I wasn’t drinking over a girl,” Hoseok snarks, letting his irritation bleed in and replace the ache in his head.

Yoongi swings around the corner with a tray covered in steaming plates and bowls. “Sure, keep telling yourself that. I know exactly how Kitty can be, and I also know you’ve had a crush on her since we were kids.”

Hoseok balks at Yoongi. “I have not!” he shouts.

“Oh, please. I saw the look you gave me after I asked her out. I could tell you were gnashing at the bit to rip me a new one for making a move before you gathered the balls to do it yourself.” Yoongi deposits the tray onto the coffee table, the smell of fried bacon and buttered toast hitting Hoseok’s nose.

“You’re delusional.” Hoseok huffs, snatching up a piece of bacon and shoving it in his mouth. “Why would I like someone who is such a pain in the ass?”

Yoongi settles in the recliner adjacent to the table, a piece of toast pinched in his fingers. “Same reason I did. She’s a piece of forbidden fruit with a great ass. Plus, she’s smart and funny. What’s not to like?”

Hoseok ignores Yoongi’s question, choosing to direct the conversation back to Yoongi. “I still don’t see how you thought it would be okay to date Namjoon’s sister. I would have beat you up if you had gone after my sister.”

“Namjoon just wants Kitty to be happy. If that means dating one of his friends, then so be it. His only rule was that I don’t hurt her. Kitty and I separated on good terms, and I would even venture to say we’re better friends now than we were before. She’s now just a friend I’ve had the pleasure of sleeping with.”

“Okay! Can we stop talking about her, please?” Hoseok puffs out his cheeks, refusing to take the bait Yoongi just offered up. His first instinct is to glare and bare his teeth like a rabid dog at the mention of Yoongi having slept with you. But he knows that’s precisely what Yoongi was going for.

Covering his chuckle with a bite of toast, Yoongi nods and makes a noncommittal sound of agreement. “How much more wedding planning do you have to do?”

Of course Yoongi would continue to talk about you without directly talking about you. “I’m not sure,” Hoseok says around a bite of bacon. “It’s probably seventy-five percent done now.”

“Maybe you’ll luck out and be able to finish it all before the week is out, and then you have a whole week to go back home or just hang out with your parents…or anyone who isn’t that someone we’re not talking about.” Yoongi gives Hoseok a shit-eating grin.

“Fuck off.” Hoseok rolls his eyes and goes on eating more, ignoring the occasional jab Yoongi throws his way.

After breakfast, he helps Yoongi clean the dishes. He swears he’s not stalling, but once the dishes are clean and put away, he’s instantly searching for another excuse to stick around or avoid reaching out to you.

“You’re welcome to stay and clean the rest of my apartment if you want something to do.” Mischief twinkles in Yoongi’s eyes as he begins to gather his work things. “I have a session scheduled at the studio. Otherwise, I’d offer to hang out and be your distraction…” he trails off, raising an eyebrow.

Hoseok sighs. “Nah, it’s best I get this over with so we can move forward with the planning. The last thing I need is to let Namjoon down because I can’t get over a petty squabble with his sister.”

“Petty squabble, right,” Yoongi teases. “Should we start planning your and Kitty’s wedding next? Pretty sure petty squabble is just a synonym for fighting like you’re married.”

“Goodbye, Yoongi,” Hoseok mutters as he pushes past him and out the front door. “Don’t choke in the studio…or do.”

The last comment is lost to the wind as Hoseok makes his way to where his car is parked. He’s glad he had the proper sense of mind to drive over to Yoongi’s before getting shitfaced. Sitting in his car, waiting for the AC to kick in, he thumbs through his phone. His finger hovers over the text thread with you for a moment, the notification indicator letting him know there are at least seven unread texts from you waiting for him. Clicking out of his messages, he ignores them and decides it’d be best to face you head-on instead of hiding behind his phone.

☀️☀️☀️

A soft knock at the door draws your attention away from your morning cup of tea. It’s grown cold, as you’ve been too lost in thought even to take the first sip. You contemplate ignoring the knock as it sounds a second time, but realizing it could be a delivery for Namjoon, you push up from the dining table and make your way to the door.

Glancing through the peephole in the door, you realize it’s not a delivery and revisit the idea of ignoring it. After last night, you’re filled with conflicting emotions about whether you want to face Hoseok. After having time to think, once he left, you realized that he was in the right for yelling at you. Over the two weeks, you’ve done nothing but push him and question everything he’s tried to do or suggested for Namjoon, despite telling yourself that you wouldn’t. Not because he doesn’t offer good ideas—quite the opposite, really—because you can’t help it. It’s like an ingrained part of your nature now to rail against him.

He knocks a third time, making you flinch back from where you’re pressed against the door. “Just a moment,” you call, finally deciding to open the door. You glance down at your thin t-shirt and cotton shorts. Crossing one arm over your chest, you use your other hand to open the door a crack.

“Hi,” Hoseok says, averting his eyes and mashing his lips together.

“Can I help you?” you ask, mildly irritated that that was all he said.

Espresso-colored eyes cut your way. He stares at you a moment before you can see him visibly deflate. “We have work to do.”

“Is that all?” It’s hard not to poke the beast when he’s standing less than a foot from you.

“I’m sorry about last night.” The words hang in the air between you, not bringing nearly as much triumph as you thought they might. If anything, they make you feel like even more of an asshole.

Without saying a word, you open the door wider, stepping to the side to allow him to enter. The tension in the air is suffocating, palpable in a bitter way. He’s still wearing the same clothes he was last night, wrinkled in a way that lets you know he probably slept in them. His chestnut-colored hair is disheveled but frames his forehead in a boyish way that reminds you of the Hoseok you first met when you were children.

It’s odd to think about your childhood and Hoseok. You didn’t hate him in the beginning. In fact, the idea of someone coming into your and Namjoon’s life that could add a little sunshine felt good. That was until you were marked as the annoying sister, and you apparently had cooties. Namjoon has been and will always be your brother, but something about your relationship with him changed because of that—because of Hoseok.

Shoving aside the dark memories of your past, you close the door behind him and shuffle back to the dining table. “There’s not much we can accomplish today since it’s Sunday and most places are closed, but we can at least get started on making the welcome favor bags.”

“Kitty,” Hoseok tries, his voice airy and soft. “Can we just talk for a minute?”

You turn to him, crossing both arms over your chest. Not in a disgruntled manner but more so in an act of self-preservation. Sometimes being close to Hoseok makes you feel like you’re falling apart at the seams. You haven’t always been completely honest with Namjoon about your feelings toward Hoseok. Yes, you hate him, and he drives you crazy. But, the thirteen-year-old girl who had a slight crush on her brother’s best friend never truly went away, and every time Namjoon has asked for more information, more insight into why you hate Hoseok so much…well, you’ve become increasingly good at deflecting that as well as the other.

“What’s there to talk about?” Your words come out clipped even though you don’t mean them to. A small part of you pleads for you to stop being such a bitch, because that’s not how you’re supposed to treat someone you lik—nope, you do hate him.

Hoseok gestures pointedly at you. “That! Let’s talk about that right there. Why are you so short with me all the time? Why do you hate me?” He throws his hands up, fisting his hair and pulling on the strands. “I don’t get it. What did I ever do to you?!”

You stand in the kitchen, staring at him, chewing your bottom lip as your breathing slowly begins to grow ragged. “What did you do to me?” you whisper. “Do you really want to know?”

His sudden laugh is humorless, more maddening than anything. “Yes, Kitty, I’d like to know what the hell I ever did to you that makes you hate me so much. It’s been like this since we were kids. I can’t for the life of me think of why you could possibly feel the way you do. Did I break one of your dolls, and I just don’t remember? Did I borrow your crayons and not give them back? Come on, Kitty, tell me! What did I—“

“You took him from me!” The words rip from your chest in a burst of pain and years of pent-up anger. The bewildered look on Hoseok’s face has you continuing. “You took Namjoon from me when I needed him the most. You took the one person I could count on. He chose you over me,” you whisper the last part, a bitter confession you’ve held onto since you were a child—since the summer you all were thirteen.

“What are you talking about?” It’s clear Hoseok doesn’t understand. His fingers slide out of his hair, and his arms hang loosely by his sides. You can see the whites of his eyes. They’re opened so wide in confusion.

Anger eats away at your sensibilities. You shake your head, not wanting to continue this conversation. “Forget it. I think it’s best if you leave. We can meet up tomorrow to work on the bags.” You turn away from him, grabbing your cold tea and taking it to the sink to pour it out. The amber-colored liquid disappears down the drain, taking your resolve with it. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, your bottom lip trembling.

“Kitty.” You jerk against the counter, startled by how close Hoseok is to you. “Kitty,” he tries again. “Talk to me. Make me understand.” The urgency and genuine want in his voice are like a balm to the ache raging away in your chest.

“I don’t want to,” you say, setting the teacup in the sink before you drop it with how your hands are now trembling. “It’s not your problem. It’s mine. I’ll deal with it. I’m sorry…for everything.”

Hoseok places a hesitant hand on your shoulder, using gentle pressure to turn you to face him. Your ass presses into the lip of the counter around the sink as you lean as far away from him as you can. An inner part of you wants to look into his eyes, but the need to hide your tears is greater. Your eyes train on the scant few inches between your body and his.

“Kitty,” he coos your name, his voice full of barely restrained sorrow. Strong fingers slide along your chin, cupping your jaw, angling your face up. Your eyes flick up, locking onto his. They’re almost a reflection of your own, glossy and brimming. “Talk to me.” It’s a soft, urgent plea for understanding.

“Hoseok.” Your chin trembles, lips warbling around his name. “You took Namjoon from me,” you try to finish your line of thinking again, “I was left with no one to turn to, no one to lean on when I needed them. I was just his sister, a stupid girl who would never understand in the way that you could.”

“What do you mean?” he asks softly. His thumb brushes over the apple of your cheek, catching an errant tear.

“The day that everything changed…I overheard what you told him.” The confusion pinching his brow launches you into further explanation. “We were thirteen…”

_____________

The heat is oppressive, the sun beating down relentlessly. Perspiration sticks the thin cotton of your t-shirt to your back. The welts lashed across the backs of your thighs burn as the salty drops of your sweat bead and slide along your legs, leaving streaks in the grime coating you as you crouch in the toolshed behind the house.

Avoiding your father's wrath is easy as long as you’re quiet as a mouse and as obedient as a soldier. This morning, a slip of your tongue earned you a strap across your ass and thighs, your cries muffled behind your clamped lips. If it’s one thing that would earn additional punishment, it’s sniveling.

The air in the toolshed is musty, thick, and stifling. The heat and stink of rust are making your head pound. You listen quietly for the telltale sound of your father's truck engine cranking, knowing he needed to leave for an appointment in town once he finished whipping you. A few more moments pass before you hear it. The old engine growls in protest as he presses the gas, gunning down the driveway and onto the street toward town.

You bite back a curse as you stand from where you’re crouched in the corner, the stripes across your skin stretching and flaring with new heat. Now that your father is gone, it’s time to find why you earned the belt this morning—Namjoon. He missed breakfast, and when questioned on his whereabouts, your answer wasn’t sufficient for your father, earning you his wrath and a promise filled with venom for Namjoon.

Last you saw him, he was sneaking out the window of the bedroom you share. You tried to coax him back over the threshold, but he just swatted your hands and pressed a finger to his lips in a silent plea for you to be quiet. He slipped into the weak morning light, heading in a familiar direction you’re starting to hate.

It’s not lost on you that Namjoon has been spending an increasing amount of time with the new kid, Hoseok. He’s in your class, the same class you share with Namjoon. New to the small farming community, his parents moved into a place on the other side of the tiny sprawl of houses.

Hoseok is all legs and arms, lanky in an awkward yet endearingly boyish way. The last time you saw him, his mother cut his hair, which looked silly. The strands were too short, standing up around his ears, and even with it mashed down by a ratty old baseball cap, it still was unruly and made you giggle. You think you like Hoseok, even if he’s slowly turning your brother against you.

They won’t let you hang out with them much, Hoseok taunting that you have cooties. You’re certain Namjoon doesn’t believe that, but he still goes along with it because that’s apparently what teenage boys do. Maybe if you could show Hoseok you’re just as good as Namjoon, he’ll be your friend, too—maybe even your boyfriend. The thought has your cheeks heating and a small smile quirking your lips that you cover with a hand.

All thoughts of your feelings toward Namjoon’s new friend get pushed to the side as you walk further into the woods. You’re sure you know where Namjoon is. He and Hoseok like to hang out around the lake just outside the community before school. Now that it’s summer break, you imagine they’ll be there all day. And, if Namjoon’s not there, you’ll simply spend the rest of the day looking for him.

It takes you nearly an hour to pick your way through the woods surrounding the farms, trying to avoid being seen by anyone. The last thing you need is an adult to ask after the bloody welts on your thighs. From experience, you know it’ll be at least another few days before you can comfortably venture outside in shorts in front of people. With the sweltering heat, it would be odd for you to wear pants out. So, as it is, you’d only leave the house in your current state if absolutely necessary. It’s easy to get away with it when school is in session, the uniform having a long skirt requirement.

Things weren’t always so severe in your home, not for you and Namjoon, at least. Your father didn’t start taking a belt to you and Namjoon until you were ten, once your mother left and the buffer was removed. The scattering of bruises constantly covering your mother was like a second skin for her—until she had enough.

The details are still a bit fuzzy about why she didn’t take you and Namjoon with her. She occasionally comes by when she knows your father isn’t around to give you and Namjoon small handfuls of money. That’s all, just a meager sum of money, and then she’s off, a cloud of dust kicking up behind her old car as she gets as far away from the small farmhouse as possible.

As you approach, a haze of heat hangs in the air around the small lake. The faint muffled sounds of voices carry over the still water. You catch glimpses of white t-shirts and khaki pants tucked between two fallen trees. Moving slowly, you creep closer.

“…I can’t do that, man.” Namjoon’s voice hits your ears clearly first. “It would mean hell to pay.”

“Would it be as bad as how you feel right now? What’s temporary pain compared to life-long?” Hoseok’s voice is slightly higher pitched than Namjoon’s but no less recognizable.

There is some shifting, the sound of crunching leaves as someone moves. “I don’t know. The fallout might not just impact me.”

Hoseok scoffs. “Kitty?” —You still, breath held, at the mention of your nickname— “What’s she got to do with this? She doesn’t understand as I do. She’s just a stupid girl.”

Those words, spoken so callously by the cute boy you thought to befriend, feel like a fiery slap to the face. But, that’s second to how you ache as you wait for Namjoon to jump to your defense, to tell Hoseok that you’re not stupid or just a girl…that you’re his sister—there’s a difference.

But he doesn’t…

The pain from your whipping pales compared to the pain now cleaving through your heart with Namjoon’s words.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right…”

_____________

“…he chose you over me. Unlike me, you were the one he turned to for everything because you could understand him. I was second-best from that day on. I was no longer the person he could rely on most.”

Recalling that memory has a sheen of sweat coating your brow, your heart hammering away in your chest. You can almost feel the sun's heat on your back and taste the salt of your tears as you made your way home that day.

“Oh, Kitty,” Hoseok murmurs. “That’s not—that day, it’s not…” he trails off, adjusting his grip on your chin. A tear breaks free, trailing down his cheek. You watch it trace a path until it gets caught in the corner of his mouth. The tip of his tongue peeks out, swiping away the droplet. “That day…it’s not what you think. You should have confronted us,” his voice grows ragged, tinged with emotion. “I remember that day just as clearly as you seem to, except I know what we were really talking about!”

Hoseok drops his hand from your face, turning and burying both of his hands into his hair again. “It doesn’t matter what you were talking about. Everything changed that day because of what you said.” Your lip curls into a silent sneer, anger slipping between the cracks in your armor. He wanted the truth, and now he’s trying to make it seem like it’s not what it clearly was that day.

He turns back to you, his hands falling to his sides, leaving his hair a wild mess. “That was the day Namjoon told me he was gay, Kitty. We were talking about whether or not he should come out. He was worried about the fallout with your father and what that would mean for you. I was just telling him it wasn’t about you, that it was his decision, and you shouldn’t have a direct influence on it. He didn’t want you to get caught up in the crosshairs with your father. He wanted to talk to you about it first. I said you wouldn’t understand because you’re not a guy. Specifically, you’re not a gay guy. You wouldn’t have known what being out like that in the community would be like. That’s all I was saying to him. If you had stuck around for a little bit longer, you would have heard him tell me that although he agreed your perspective as a girl might not be much, I was wrong to assume you wouldn’t be able to help him because if anyone could, it would be you!”

You grind your teeth together. “Don’t try to spin this on me!”

“I’m not trying to do that, Kitty, but you need to understand that what you heard that day—what you think you heard that day—may just be your own interpretation of a conversation you shouldn’t have overheard anyway.”

“A conversation I shouldn’t have heard?” you parrot. The words are biting and sharp. “How about Namjoon shouldn’t have snuck out of the house that morning, and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have had to come to find him and happen upon a conversation I shouldn’t have heard!”

Hoseok deflates before you, shoulders slumping and face falling. His chest violently rises and falls with his labored breaths. “You need to have a serious conversation with your brother. This goes beyond just the two of us.” He steps away, angling himself toward the door. “I-I’ll call you tomorrow or something…I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Hoseok.” You try to cling to one coherent thought, but everything is crumbling. Is it possible you spent the last fifteen years projecting your insecurities and assumptions onto Hoseok without trying to confirm your beliefs? Licking your suddenly dry lips, you call after him again, “Hoseok, wait.”

He pauses with his hand resting on the doorknob. His eyes are already red-tinged, tears free falling down his cheeks. “Let’s not continue this, not right now, Kitty. I think we both need some time to process and think things through. Seriously, call Namjoon…talk to him. And when you’re ready, we can talk again.” The door swings open, and the bright light from outside wreaths him in a glow, making him look like a ray of fucking sunshine. “Oh, and Kitty? While we’re confessing things we’ve been suppressing for the last fifteen years, you should know I’ve always liked you. Despite the—or perhaps because of the way you treat me. I thought, in a twisted way, that if you cared about me enough to hate me, maybe one day I could change your mind, and you’d…well, you get the idea. I may have called you a stupid girl that day, but maybe I’m actually the stupid one.”

The door clicks shut behind him, sealing you in with his last words…his own confession. It settles like a weight on your chest, right beside the knowledge that maybe instead of an enemy, you could have found a friend—or something more—in Hoseok all these years. Is it too late…is there now too much hate in your heart?

Next Chapter⇾ ◅ Back to series masterlist

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kingofbodyrolls · 1 year ago

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It’s 3tanniversary!!!! 🎂🥳

3tan has been stuck in my head (in the best way possible) since I read it the first time, so I’m doing a reread already – yes, it IS THAT good! 💜 I’ll also be reviewing every chapter/drabble/special, because I didn’t do that the first time (because I’m a thirsty hoe ‘kay).

Like I’m smiling and grinning from ear to ear when reading this, and smirking. I must look like a damn fool while reading, but gosh it’s so incredibly good, so I don’t mind! I find it so funny that Yoongi already ‘lost’ the moment reader arrived, but what truly broke him was the fact that they’d had so many bad experiences and are about to storm off, that he springs into action 😆

Ahh, it’s just so hard for me to describe how much I love this (whole series)! And don’t get me started on the smut, it’s so fucking dirty and incredible, my words can’t do it justice.

I’m just so happy that I finally joined this amazing family and journey and discovered this fabulous masterpiece 🥹

three tangerines (m) | myg

title: three tangerines pairing: yoongi x reader rating/genre: m ; smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart. (loosely based off one part of “the window” by silvershine) warnings: pov switch (just one), age gap implied, cursing, dirty talk, choking, hair pulling, thigh riding, oral (m/f rec), sl*t/wh*re mentions, spanking, size kink, hand kink, pussy slapping, penetration, protected sex, rough sex, fingering, breast play, slight ass play, daechwita yoongi should be a warning in itself.. i think that’s it? he keeps the chains on so there’s that, too lmao note: this is a super late birthday present for the wonderful @sketchguk <3 ily, teresa and i hope you have fun with this one lololol. and thank you endlessly to @taesinferno @chateautae and @lavienjin for being angel betas! you all mean the world to me and you know i got you if you need anything in return. note 2: ALSO.. thank you all so much for the level of interest bc that taglist was popping. i did not expect that turnout (or to laugh so much at all of your answers and screams LOL) so you gave me incredible motivation to keep writing. i’m also trying something new which you will see if you get to the end. seriously, ty ty! total word count: 12k drop date: november 16th, 2021, 7:17pm est 20/11/2021 update: also posted on ao3 04/01/2022 update: ⇥ masterlist

When Yoongi told you he would be there if you needed anything, this isn’t what he had in mind.

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#bts fic recs #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #myg x reader #myg smut #3tan #reader: female #au: brother's best friend #vibe: smutty #vibe: angst #vibe: fluffy #lissa's favorites

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yoon-topias · 6 months ago

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Sunday Morning battles Part Two { Sin Showers }

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, mature content)

⟡ Warnings: Smut.. strong language, male masturbation, praise, size kink, spanking, dirty talking, blowjobs, cum swallowing, head pusher!Yoongi, cum play mentioned, Yoongi is whipped hard for Vi.

⟡ Summary: After washing Vi hair, Yoongi sinks into his own utopia indulging himself into sinful thoughts.

⟡2.4k words

⟡ Part one | Part two | Part three

⟡ Series index

Yoongi Pov:

Standing in the hot shower water dripping down his body, always sensitive to touch hates to admit it to any of his one night stands. They don't get to know that side of him, not the side of him that will crumble if his neck is touched, kissed, licked, literally anything. He is always the one in control. He chooses to not look at them, has no interest in looking at their face might sound wrong to him but in his head he is thinking of you. The water is running down his body he knows he shouldn't be thinking of you in the shower, in your own home but fuck he can't stop.

He's sensitive. Hands roaming on his skin like to make it feel more real when he opens that door. Thinks this is how you'd be on his lap, his hands on your thighs thumb in the crease where your hip meets your hip, fingers digging deep in your side. His chest is rising up and down. The bathroom is a sauna not because of the hot water. Hell it's cold now from the hot water running out, luke warm water running over his boiling skin thinking about you making it his own sauna.

Thinks how you'd squeeze his thighs with yours from being turned on aching for pleasure. He groans its deep, raspy. “Shit.” Yoongi doesn't notice his hand workin' his way down his body thinking about you skimming over his stomach.

He's sensitive. So sensitive. Might as well be a weakness of his.

He is imagining how you'd be like puddy under his finger tips. He'd mold you to be his perfect baby girl. You'd say something on the lines of "This is wrong Yoon." and he'd indulge himself more in the way you're trying to not cave into your own guilty pleasures. He sure has.

His forearm finding its way to the shower wall taking a shaky breath feels his ribs rumble as he does, his ass cheeks twitch, lower thighs shake oh he is feeling things and it's a sin. He doesn't give a shit walks himself down to the door of hell and knocks politely.

Hand finding his own way to his inner thigh gripping it. Avoiding his cock, Knows it's hard. His index finger lightly skimming over his balls and he lets out a groan says your name under his breath. “Violet.”

Thinks how he'd move those purple panties to the side and tease you with his fingers lightly rubbing circles on your aching clit. He looks down and sees you glisten clenching around nothing. He'd give you anything if you begged for it with that pretty smile of yours. Your eyes would be sparkling with orbs of a million stars in them and he would sink his teeth in your shoulder and claim you as his even if he hasn't even been inside yet. You’re his.

He'd hear your soft velvety voice ask for more and he'd gladly give it to you.

Your hips rolling into his hand begging, pleading for more pleasure stimulation. Him.

He forgets he's in a shower with fucking cold water running down his body.

His palm resting over his cock. Pressing down rubs a little to give his head some relief, water only running down the right side of his body he looks down sees just how hard he is, sees the precum dripping out of him. Thinking can't let it go to waste huh? Placing his thumb over top and rubbing it on his tip.

Thinking how you'd arch your back as he entered you his long length inching its way into you caressing you telling you "You're doing so good princess." and you'd whine his name.

Hates that he is the one that calls you princess and gave it meaning when there was none before.

Thumb rubbing lightly on his over sensitive tip, feel his thighs clench at the thought of you doing it. Your hand. Slowly wrapping his hand around his cock and rolls his hips, head falling forward on his forearm on the wall. "Fuck Vi."

You'd cum on his fingers, he would say you've made a mess and make you clean it off him, but not without sneaking his own taste. He's far too gone in a small shower with cold water running on him, but in his head he is in your bedroom, you on top of him and those glowing stars above you both. He's smelling your vanilla scent mixing with his musky warm vanilla scent becoming one. The scent lingering from your shampoo invading his senses.

His long fingers wrapped around his cock, pulls up. Pushes back down and thrust into his own fist. Saying your name. Chest rising at an unnatural speed. Eyes rolling back in his head in his mind he is inside of it's you who he is pushing into gripping so tight he might suffocate.

He always has been the one to indulge himself slowly then all at once. Thinks how the first time he'd do anything with you it'd be all your pleasure that he focused on. He could cum in his pants at the thought of taking a bite of his forbidden fruit, And he has in college thinking about you doesn't regret it, will he ever admit it? Hell no.

These thoughts are insatiable. Yearning. Sinful. Corrupt. He can't help it, feels like he hasn't gotten off all week. Oh but he has not once but every day of the damn week. This sensation he is feeling is totally different. It's engulfing him, should have put the whole damn military out in front of the door he chained up. Too Late. he broke it down with the sledgehammer of his impulsive hands.

Feeling his feet wanting to curl at the sensations he is feeling. Forward again. Back down. Releasing his tightening grip of his cock needs a little foreplay even if it's with himself. Indulge.

His hand finds his balls and he is lightly rubbing his thumb finding his way to the base of his cock and lightly rubbing up and down to have some friction.

Thinks about the way your hips and thighs have those fucking dimples his thumbs would find a home there gripping and squeezing, wants to color them in with his purple and blue marks. The way your skin has stretch marks, running his fingers down them knowing your body is just too good for its own good that it made them appear. He'd pull you up to his level by sticking his hands under your ass where it meets your thighs, the indentation from your juicy ass, hands would at their rightful spot as he is biting and sucking on your neck won't let him indulge himself in your mouth just yet.

His hand turns into his head gripping his soaking wet hair trying to pull himself out of this damn utopia. He can’t. Not. Yet.

"Fuck she's the end of me." His chest is splotches of pink and red Hues turning him into his own sinful artwork.

Wrapping his hand around his cock again ready for that feeling. You.

Pushes into his hand. Retracts. Over and over.

Thinking about your pretty pink lips wrapping around his cock sinking down taking it all, his eyes roaming down your body, seeing your ass sticking out because of your back arching. He'd run his fingers through your hairs praising you "You're doing so well princess, taking all my cock." at the end of your praise it pushing your head down to take him all the way would hear your throat and choking on your salvia and his pre cum mixing become your own toxic cocktail.

He's in the shower yet he feels his sweat coming from his body. Breaking through the utopia barrier he has set on his own accord. All of his thoughts are nothing but a fantasy, but it's you invading his own space. Gladly accepted with open arms, ready to be consumed.

His head swung back into the water, removing it from his arm. Re-adjusts no longer on his forearm slamming his hand on the wall propping himself up, toes curling at the feeling of his over sensitive body.

The way he would rail you over the bed watching your hips. Thighs. Ass. Jiggle as he is railing you, would bend over and bite on your hip as he is thrusting and out of you.

Thrusting into his hand. No. You. "Holy fuck, Vi."

Pulling himself closer and closer to the edge it's torture to him, the way his cock throbs. Pulsing. The way his body is tensing. All for you, and you don't even know it.

Pre cum leaking more from his tip, soaking it into his cock using it as lubricant wishes it was yours. He wonders if it tastes sweet like those damn pineapple lollipops you have been obsessed with since you were a kid. The way he can hear your voice say Daddy when you fucked with him the last time he washed your hair. He'll let himself revel in it this time. Even though he knows there will be many more times too hard to resist the forbidden fruit.

Thinks how he'd unzip your riding gear and see your god forsaken large breasts come out for him to see. Play with. Suck. Lick. Would bend you over his bike, hands on his seat as he rails into you from behind, biting down on your shoulder marking you to be his and no one else's. He would hear you ask for "More Daddy." as he is teasing going in and out of your soaking pussy.

He's taking it too far this time. To fucking far. Fucking you on his most prized possession. Just keeps going, speeding up his hand. Up and down. Fucks his hand likes it your pussy. The pressure building up in his lower stomach he feels it's coming knows it's wrong but it feels so damn good. His own utopia that you have built in his mind.

He finds himself with you in his arms in his black silk sheets opening the door for you to his utopia. Those chains are long gone. Knew they wouldn't be gone for long never are.

The silk sheets drape over his legs as you're sitting on top of him. Hand roaming all over your body, your head falling into his shoulder "Y-Yoon."

"Yes baby." rubbing slowly in motions to make you feel like you’re in your own sweet hell. One hand working on you pleasuring your most precious spot and the other wrapping around your waist pulling you closer making your hips lift off his thighs "I-I'm gonna Yoon."

It's rapid. Fast. Throbbing. Pulls up and now it's a sinful scene in the shower, his shadow casting on the walls the momentum of his hand up and down. Chest heaving up and down.

"Cum Vi." That's his last straw; the release is catastrophic. Euphoric. He whines your name as he releases all of his cum painting the shower wall and himself. Makes a mess of his hand. Up and down slowly coaxing the last bit out. "Fuck." he came just last night and still there is an ungodly amount of it the always has produced a not normal amount of it. Loves it because cum play is one of his favorites. Thinks you would be gorgeous painted in it and he would rub his tip through it on your body once he painted you, Tapping it on the cum painted on you. His own work of art on your body. Yoongi swallows harshly, trying to regulate his breathing. Up and down four times. Just one more..Up and down and he pulls his hand away and takes his fingers up to his lips and takes a taste. It's sweet with a hint of bitterness. Wonders if you taste anything like this, because he has been sneaking those pineapple lollipops without you knowing.

The water now freezing cold sets in, no longer a sauna. His mind is fuzzy, he is wanting to shut and lock the door from the inside, keep himself inside and never come out. He must pull himself out and chain it up. He hopes it's for a while this time and doesn't know how much longer he can seclude himself in it. Ridding himself of the mess he created on his own body feels like he is washing a part of you away with it. Wonders when the next time he'll feel this close to you. Maybe it's just his fucked up mind everything feels so real in and coming out of an episode.

He hears light three knocks on the door. It's you, the most beautiful woman he just had the most sinful thoughts of, Wonders how deep your own utopia is. Bet it's as beautiful as you, wants to see that side of your mind, Wants to be the one invading your utopia. He so badly wants to say "Come in." letting you into his own escape, the place you created without knowing. You’re yelling through the door.

"Yoon! You ordered me breakfast from the best place. Hurry up, it's Tohru and Kyo time! Maybe if you're lucky I'll put on Slam Dunk."

Would have replied "Oh I'm already lucky enough today, princess." but replied with "Okay I'm hurrying you know how hard it is to get chocolate out your hair?" Laughing a little covering up his most intimate moment he just had with you in his utopia.

He hears the door open. What the fuck. It lightly closes and his mind just thinks where the hell is his sister and does she know you just walked straight into the pits of hell with him. The next words he hears out your mouth he never thought he would hear come out those pretty pink lips. "Well I guess I'll have to wash daddy's hair next time." Oh fucking hell I'm dead. That damn lucky cig. He swallows hard preparing what he is about to say.

Peeking his head out the curtain and smirking "I guess you will princess. Now you get outta here, you bad girl before Hans knows our secret." She looks at me with wide eyes and nods "Okays, thank yous for the food.” with a shy smile her cheeks tented a rosy color, it has to be from the hot bath. Yeah that's it. She opens the door as quietly as she can and whispers “See you soon Yoon.”

My own utopia is mixing with reality, and I need a whole damn nuclear weapon to end it before it consumes me and there is no distinction from reality and my escape.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

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sleepyhoon · 12 days ago

Text

✰ pairing. — emo!hs x reader

✰ genre. — early 2000s au, best friend's older brother, childhood friends to lovers, smut, light angst.

✰ word count. — 7k+

✰ warnings. — swearing, family issues, partying, mentions of drinking/drugs, friendship betrayal (?), smut [virginity loss, teasing, fingering, soft dom!hs, "i've waited so long for this" type shit], reader and hs are both 18+, minors dni. very cliche shit. reader doesn’t know much abt sex tbh.

✰ synopsis. — Love notes were slipped into your locker on a daily basis. Variations of messy, boyish handwriting on yellow sticky notes stacked upon themselves by the end of each school day. Every Friday night you were invited out with the promise of, "You'll have fun, just give it a chance."

You could have any guy you wanted, no doubt about it. Yet somehow, the only one you do want is the tattooed, gothic one that lives a few doors down from your best friend.

✰ a/n. revamping this from my bts acc with heeseung this time bc im absolutely obsessed with this couple and need them to exist in every possible universe :P revamping part 2 as we speak and ill post in a few days hehe

✰ perm taglist. @intromortal @aanniikkaa @meetletsinmontauk @lovelyyf @right-person-wrong-time

———

Two monumental events had been etched into your brain for eternity, the first being sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet up with your friends at the community pool. The second is fifteen minutes upon arriving at the pool, seeing your best friend's older brother emerge from the chlorine-scented water as if he were Poseidon and realizing you were utterly infatuated by him.

Lee Chaeryeong isn't blind to this, immediately pulling you away from the crowd to question the longing gaze on your face. "Out of every fucking guy here with us, you're making eyes at my brother? You do know that Heeseung is completely gross, right?" She was so furious, you're surprised no steam was blowing from her ears.

Deny it all you want (and you certainly did within that fifteen-minute interrogation); Heeseung very clearly had a hold on you that lasted many years following that fateful night. He wasn't even your usual type; he wouldn't be caught dead around the guys you're typically drawn to. He had a rebellious side; maybe that's why getting him out of your head was nearly impossible.

Of course, the eternal guilt of falling for your best friend's older, dumbass brother is also difficult to get out of your head.

It can't be helped, really. Anytime you'd visit their home, your eyes would automatically wander through the crack of his doorway as you'd pass by. Whether he was messily cutting his dark hair while blasting Pierce the Veil from his speakers or giving himself a new Stick-and-Poke tattoo as he waited for a CD to finish burning, you long to break away from Chaeryeong for a moment to speak to him. Ask him about his day or if his band had any upcoming gigs. You'd even talk to him about paint drying if it meant you'd get to be in the same space as him.

So it's safe to say you were completely heartbroken when he left for college. Chaeryeong, however, is over the moon. Or so you think.

"… He's your brother, though. You don't think you're gonna miss him at all?" You ask, watching Chaeryeong delicately paint your fingernails a pretty shade of purple.

She shrugs, "I mean… it's definitely gonna be weird not seeing him around the house every day, but he'll still visit sometimes. Maybe."

Deep down, Chaeryeong knows Heeseung won't visit much. He'd been craving freedom and independence from their parents for ages, and moving away for college gave him the perfect opportunity to live as he pleased. They weren't fond of the clothes he wore or the friends he had, and absolutely couldn't bear the music his band makes. They criticized every little thing about him, and he'd finally be getting a break from them.

As you're about to ask Chaeryeong if she's okay, she stands from her bed, screwing the nail polish closed. "I'll be back. I have to let Bam out." Her voice is shaky, and she doesn't look at you as she exits the room.

You take the opportunity to make your way down the hall and to Heeseung's door, which he has conveniently left wide open as he scrolls on his desktop. His knees are pressed against his chest as he's heavily focused on editing his Facebook page. There's a rock song playing lightly from another tab that you can't quite identify; he uses his free hand to gently tap along to the beat of the music.

His room is covered in cardboard boxes, soon to be packed into his parents' minivan and making their way to the University of San Francisco dorms.

Your knuckles tap on his wooden door, your heart fluttering when he turns around, and you realize he's changed the ring on his lip from black to silver.

He nods at you, "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just know you're leaving in the morning, and I wanted to say bye. And wish you good luck, of course." You're not sure why you're so heartbroken. It's not like the two of you were ever a thing. It's not like this would be your last time seeing him. Why were you so upset?

"Cool, thanks." You assume that was his way of indirectly telling you to get out until he reaches into his desk drawer and says, "Catch," before tossing something towards you.

Careful not to mess up your manicure, you easily catch the item, unfolding what appears to be a purple bandanna. "What's this for?" You ask, inspecting the material in your palms.

"To remember me by, duh. Plus, it matches your nails.”

It'd be silly to tell him you genuinely don't need this because there was no way in hell you could ever forget about him. Instead, you clutch the bandana tightly in your fist and make a silent vow to keep it with you at all times; have a piece of him with you at all times.

You thank him and tell him it's nice, but all you can wonder is why he even wants you to remember him in the first place. Maybe you're overthinking. He probably just didn't care for the useless accessory anymore.

When you turn to leave, Heeseung stops you with a gentle call of your name. He turns his head in your direction, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything." You whisper back, praying you don't sound overly desperate for a more extended interaction with him.

A beat of silence passes, and just as he opens his mouth to respond, Chaeryeong is stomping up the stairs and belting out your name. You gaze away from Heeseung to glance behind you, listening as his sister shouts about doing each other's makeup.

"Never mind, actually. It's not important." Heeseung interrupts, and you physically feel your heart sink to the floor.

You're about to be annoying and pry a response out of him until your eyes dart to his floor, and you see it. What slipped out from his drawer when he tossed the bandana at you.

A condom wrapper. An empty one, at that.

It's embarrassing how quickly your vision becomes glossy, salty tears threatening to release with each passing second. Of course, he's fucking someone. Of course, that person isn't you. Of fucking course.

You shouldn't be surprised; he's probably more into girls with a similar aesthetic. She's probably covered in tattoos and piercings, just like him. She's probably older than you and may even have her own car, unlike you, who still had to catch rides with your parents or older sister.

It's odd, though. You're not entirely naive; you know Heeseung definitely flirts with you here and there, catching his eye when his gaze lingers on you for a second too long. There's a noticeable tension between the two of you that even your parents have teased about. And this whole time, he's been screwing someone else?

Heeseung hangs out with so many girls it'd be useless to even attempt to uncover who this mystery person is. It's none of your business, anyway.

So you leave.

You tell Chaeryeong you'll get grounded if you're home past curfew, and with tear-stained cheeks, you run home.

The following day isn't any easier.

Chaeryeong posted a photo on FaceBook of herself and Heeseung posing together, arms wrapped around each other, with the caption "c u l8r alligator XD". The comments are already flooded with responses wishing Heeseung farewell, some from family members or friends of the siblings.

"Don't 4get abt me!!!!!! >:( "from a girl with red hair catches your eye because it's the only one Heeseung responded to. You can't bring yourself to read his full reply, fingers moving to quickly close the tab after seeing the word 'Never.'

It's probably her, you think to yourself, the one he's sleeping with.

Maybe it's for the best that Heeseung's moving away; it'll give you some time to get over him.

And you most certainly did.

The only time he ever crosses your mind is when Chaeryeong brings him up (which she rarely does) or when you pass by his empty bedroom. Deep down, you know you'll always care for Heeseung on some level, but time away from him was just what you needed. You were too attached to him for no fathomable reason, rejecting any guy interested in you with the premise of being loyal to a guy who didn't even want you. He'd probably been sneaking girls in through his window, with you a few doors down doing magazine quizzes with his sister; blissfully unaware of what was happening down the hall.

You’re better off without him.

That's what you've been telling yourself daily until now. It's the start of summer vacation, and Heeseung's been summoned home to spend it with his family before Chaeryeong (and you) transfer to the University of San Francisco.

Heeseung was hesitant about coming home, as he always is. In constant fear that his parents have some elaborate plan for him to change his major or set him up with someone they deem acceptable, nothing like the girls he hangs around and probably invites back to his dorm.

It took days of convincing until Heeseung finally agreed to come home, under the premise that his parents' intentions were pure and that they simply wanted one last summer together before Chaeryeong moved away for college. They also hoped he'd be able to house-sit and watch over Chaeryeong for a few days as they took their annual anniversary trip to San Diego. That, however, took some bribing and the promise of gas money on their end.

He's not due to arrive until tomorrow morning, and you've convinced yourself there's no reason for you to see him right away. You'd be fine if the next time you saw him was in a few months as you're moving into your dorm. After years of longing, you've finally moved on from him.

Some of you have debated telling Chaeryeong about your past feelings for her brother, but there's no point. It was a one-sided relationship with absolutely zero depth, nothing worth discussing. So when she nudges your side and asks if you're interested in anyone, you reply with a shake of your head.

Chaeryeong has no reaction to this; she can't remember the last time you've been into anyone despite having the entire male population at your school practically throwing themselves at you. "Maybe you'll meet someone tonight."

She's referencing the house party you're going to, which she practically had to drag you out of your room to attend. Parties are different from your scene, especially on a day like today when you were hoping to have a girls' night with Chaeryeong. She had other plans, however.

"Maybe," you respond, sighing as the house you're attending is finally in your viewpoint. "We're not staying long, right? It looks packed."

Cars are parked throughout the street, one house, in particular, being the center of attention with loud music and drunk people decorating the front yard of a suburban-looking home. Chaeryeong looks as ecstatic as ever, looping her arm in yours and picking up her pace. She doesn't respond. It doesn't matter. Her response would've disregarded your concern.

One car catches your eye as you enter the unfamiliar house; it's parked towards the end of the street, and you swear you've been in it before. You're not able to dwell on it for too long, though, because Chaeryeong has to practically yank you through the front door.

Your nerves are at an all-time high. The music is entirely too loud, and there isn't a single sober person in sight. You're not sure how Chaeryeong even found out about this party, but you really wish she would've left you out of it. You'd go now if it were acceptable, but Chaeryeong would've stayed regardless, and you refuse to leave her alone. So, you push your feelings to the side and take her hand as she leads you towards the kitchen.

"Thirsty?" Chaeryeong questions, forcing a red solo cup into your hand.

"Not at all," you respond, sighing as Chaeryeong pours something into your cup.

"It's just ginger ale," she reassures you, "I don't think either of us should get drunk here." For once, she's being reasonable.

Chaeryeong suggests you do a lap around the house in hopes of running into people you may have gone to school with. And to your surprise, a decent amount of your past classmates have decided to attend. You feel more at ease with them around, a bit more comfortable now that you're around recognizable people. Although you initially hesitated to show up, you're glad you did.

"Anybody catch your eye yet? Or are you still breaking hearts?" Your old classmate, Yeoreum, questions.

You shake your head, about to explain that you're not interested in dating right now, until she gestures behind you. "That guy is pretty cute."

You shift on the couch, looking around until you spot who Yeoreum had been gesturing towards. You locate him finally, and she's right; he is cute. He just seems so familiar.

That's when it hits you.

"Oh my God," you whisper, eyes locked on him, and you slowly rise from the couch.

It's Heeseung. And the car you recognized was his. He's here. What is he doing here? He isn't due to be back until tomorrow morning.

You almost don't realize it's him until you spot the mole under his lip. He's grown his hair out and stopped dyeing it, the slew of tattoos that decorated his arm (God, did he start working out, too?) nicely connected, now creating a sleeve, and he's given himself an eyebrow piercing. Your feelings for him come rushing back in full force.

Panicked, you reach for Chaeryeong's hand, but she's nowhere to be found. Careful not to be seen by her brother, you bow your head slightly, passing through a crowd of sweaty bodies until you finally spot her kitty heels. She's leaned against a wall, swirling around her cup while flirting with some guy you'd seen around school a few times.

Creating some much-needed distance between the two, you tug Chaeryeong towards you. "I think I just saw your brother."

"What? No, he won't even be in the city until tomorrow morning."

Frustrated, you quickly search the crowd until your eyes land on him again. You ignore the fact that he's now speaking to some girl with red hair and tattoos scattered across her arm and point in their direction, "Well, then that guy looks just like him."

Chaeryeong squints her eyes in disbelief at the boy in question until the doubt becomes confusion, and the confusion becomes realization. "Oh my God! The fuck is he doing here?" She turns towards you as if you're supposed to have the answer.

"The fuck should I know? You said he wouldn't be here until tomorrow morning!"

"Because that's what he told our parents! How was I supposed to know he was gonna be here? I never would've come if I knew!"

"What are you guys doing here?" A voice you haven't heard in so long interrupts. You don't even want to turn around.

"What are you doing here?" Chaeryeong throws back, and the two stare at each other in angry silence for a moment until Heeseung steps to the side. "Upstairs," he says, nodding towards the staircase.

"But—"

"Go."

Chaeryeong's clearly aggravated but makes her way towards the stairs. You remain in place with your arms crossed, raising a brow in confusion when Heeseung looks at you. "What?"

"You too."

"I'm not—"

"I'm not asking again," he says simply. You convince yourself that you only take his command because you don't feel like fighting. Definitely not because it's interesting to have him boss you around.

Trudging up the stairs behind Chaeryeong, you wait with her in the hallway until Heeseung arrives. "Come on," he says, entering a bathroom and turning the light on. Neither you nor Chaeryeong protest; there really isn't any point.

As soon as the door is shut, Chaeryeong is yelling at the top of her lungs. "What the fuck are you doing here?! You said you wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning! Mom and Dad had to push their trip back just to give you more time to arrive, and you're already fucking here?! The fuck is the matter with you?!"

"I'm not gonna respond if you're gonna be yelling like this." Heeseung says calmly, leaning against the sink, "Let me get my questions out first, then I'll answer any of yours, deal?"

Chaeryeong glances over at you, sitting on the bathtub's edge, and you nod. She returns her attention back to Heeseung, takes a deep breath, then agrees.

"Now, what are you guys doing here?! How'd you even get invited?! And you're drinking?!" The calm demeanor from earlier slips away in a matter of seconds, clearly a hoax just to get Chaeryeong to calm down enough to let him speak.

"It's just ginger ale, and we've barely even had any! We were invited by our friends, okay? We have just as much right to be here as you do."

Heeseung scoffs, clearly unamused. "Right, and I'm assuming Mom and Dad know you're here then, huh?"

Chaeryeong nervously tucks a hair behind her ear. You wonder why you even have to be in here with them. It's not like Heeseung is your brother, anyway.

"We told our parents that we were going to a birthday party at a friend's house." Chaeryeong mumbles, barely able to look Heeseung in the eye.

"And what did they say when they dropped you guys off?"

"They didn't drop us off," you interrupt, "we walked here."

"Well, I wasn't gonna tell him that." Chaeryeong glares at you, it takes every bone in your body to not to laugh at her.

You're so over this. You didn't want to attend this dumb party in the first place, and seeing Heeseung flirting with some girl who could've been his female counterpart was the icing on the cake. It doesn't matter if your feelings for him were gone before tonight; every little emotion you'd felt for him over the years had returned (as if they ever left).

"And how exactly did you two geniuses plan on getting home?"

"Same way we got here."

"Can you please just let me handle this? Jesus Christ…" Chaeryeong shoots another frustrated glare at you, and you can't help but roll your eyes at her. She turns back towards her brother, "Can you answer my questions now?"

Heeseung's eyes anxiously dart around the cramped bathroom, landing on you a few times before he's slowly nodding his head. "Alright, Mom and Dad basically forced me to spend the whole summer here, and I kept asking myself why they were so persistent about it. They finally told me they needed me to watch over you and the house for their stupid trip. I had plans too, you know? That I had to derail for them. My band could've spent this summer touring, making real money, and now we can't. So, they wanna inconvenience me? I'll inconvenience them right back."

"…Inconvenience them by doing what?" Chaeryeong asks the exact question you had.

Heeseung shrugs, "By telling them I'm gonna be arriving a day late, duh."

You and Chaeryeong exchange an awkward glance at one other before silently agreeing not to tease him about it. If this was his badass way of retaliating, who were you to rain on his parade?

"Are you gonna tell anyone you saw us here?" Chaeryeong questions, a noticible tremble in her voice.

"As long as you guys don't tell anyone you saw me."

It's a fair trade, you accept it. You're even more delighted when Heeseung says he's taking the two of you home. Chaeryeong, however, isn't too happy about this, claiming there were so many people she didn't get to speak to, and how'd this be the last time she'd get to see them before moving away for school. You're not sure if Chaeryeong is really good at getting what she wants, or if Heeseung was tired of hearing her complain, but he finally gives in and grants her ten more minutes to socialize before meeting him at his car.

"If you're not at my car in ten minutes, I swear to God I'm calling mom." Heeseung scolds, holding the bathroom door open as the three of you finally exit.

A loud, drunk voice suddenly shouts, "Woah, Heeseung! Two girls at the same time!? You fucking beast!"

"They're my sisters, you fucking pervert!" He shouts back.

You can't even dwell on how disgusting the original comment was, only being able to focus on the fact that Heeseung just referred to you as his sister. As conceited as it may sound, you're not used to rejection or guys putting you in the friend-zone. Whatever little game Heeseung had been playing with you over the years was completely new territory. And right when you think things couldn't possibly get any worse, he calls you his sister.

What the actual fuck.

—

The next ten minutes go by in a blur; Chaeryeong has ditched you for a second time that night to talk to the guy from earlier. When it's finally time to leave, you find her Sat on his lap with her arm hung across his shoulder, laughing at an unfunny pickup line he'd used on her.

"It's time, Chaeryeong," you interrupt, helping her stand.

"Wait, wait, wait," she persists, directing her attention back to the boy, "tomorrow at five, right?"

"And not a second later." He sends her a disgusting wink that makes your skin crawl.

Chaeryeong is so love-struck you're surprised there isn't an arrow lodged in her back. She can barely form a proper sentence, erupting into a fit of giggles every few seconds as you make your way to Heeseung's car. "Wasn't he just gorgeous?"

You shrug, linking arms with her. "He was alright."

Stunned, Chaeryeong gasps at you, "Just alright? He was literally like a Greek God."

"I'm not saying he's unattractive; he's just...not really my type."

"And what is your type, Miss. Never-Has-Been-Interested-In-Anyone?"

Now, there's the question of the hour. You have to word your response very carefully; don't be too obvious about the fact that your ideal type is her older sibling.

"I guess I prefer guys with an edgier look to them, you know? Tattoos, piercings..." Despite your attempt to sound as nonchalant as possible, your heart is beating out of your chest from the mild confession.

Chaeryeong snickers, then playfully groans. "It sounds like you're describing my brother."

Now, you really have to test the waters.

"Since you brought him up, would it be so bad if I did like Heeseung? Hypothetically speaking, of course." You're not sure what prompts you to even ask this. It's not like he's even interested in you; he literally just referred to you as his sister.

A beat of silence passes as Chaeryeong gathers her thoughts, then she says, "No."

"What?"

You've finally reached Heeseung's car at this point, beating him there. You sit atop the trunk, feet hovering above the ground as the cold, nighttime air swirls around you. Chaeryeong shakes her head, "Obviously, it wouldn't be the ideal situation, but I guess I wouldn't mind as long as you talked to me about it first."

"First?" You mimic.

"Like...assuming you'd wanna date him or something. Just so I'm not blindsided, you know?"

This is the last thing you would've expected your impulsive, hotheaded (yet oh-so-loveable) best friend to be reasonable about. Mainly because she lectured you for nearly twenty minutes when she first suspected you had a crush on Heeseung.

You go to respond, but Heeseung, finally arriving at the car, captivates both of your attention. He finishes off his can of Pepsi before crushing the aluminum and tossing it to the ground. "Ready?" He questions.

There's no point in giving him a speech about littering; you're just ready to go home.

He fishes his keys from his pocket and unlocks the car door; Chaeryeong opens the backseat and jumps in before you have the chance, sprawling across the aged leather. "Move over," you nudge her foot with your knee; she pulls away from you.

Heeseung calls your name, "Just sit up front. She's not gonna move."

Now, this is new. You've ridden in the backseat of his car with Chaeryeong more times than you can count; he'd never allow either of you to sit shotgun with him; typical annoying older brother bullshit.

Don't make a big deal out of this, you say to yourself, climbing into the passenger seat of his car.

Chaeryeong and Heeseung bicker the entire ride to their parent's house, partially out of annoyance with each other, but you also get the feeling that neither of them were genuinely ready to leave the party. You're surprised Heeseung even enjoyed parties; he spent most of high school either working, hanging out at skate parks, or practicing with his band in their garage. College must've really changed him, and you're unsure how to feel about it.

Heeseung parks a few houses down from their parent's house and unlocks the doors, "Get out," he says into the backseat.

"Where are you gonna spend the night?" Chaeryeong questions, stretching her arms outward.

"I checked into a motel this morning. I'll be back here tomorrow around noon. And, hey," Heeseung turns around, pointing a finger at his sister. "Don't tell them you saw me."

Mockingly, Chaeryeong points a finger right back at him. "Telling them I saw you would be exposing myself, cock-sucker. Leave me alone." She angrily begins to climb out of the car, annoyed at how little trust Heeseung had in her.

You turn to go, but Heeseung's cold hand on your bicep stops you, "Where you goin'?"

"I'm gonna walk home from here. It's only a few minutes away," you respond.

Heeseung shakes his head, "I'm dropping you off. You haven't moved since I left, right?"

"No, but it's fi—"

"Then your house is on the way to my motel. We're going in the same direction; might as well ride together."

It truly does make more sense to ride together, and rejecting his offer any further surely would raise suspicions. You don't want either of them to believe you'd feel uncomfortable being alone with Heeseung because that couldn't be farther from the truth. You're perplexed about your feelings now, and you don't want to do anything you'd regret just because of the confusion.

"Okay, then." You glance over your shoulder at Chaeryeong, "Will you need any help getting ready for your date tomorrow?"

Suddenly embarrassed, Chaeryeong shushes you, gesturing that Heeseung is literally right next to you and would prefer that he didn't hear about her dating life. Heeseung genuinely couldn't care less and is instead patiently waiting for his sister to get out.

She does finally, and Heeseung resumes his path to your house. He turns the radio on, switching between stations until he stops on one that's playing a song he's familiar with. You drive silently for a few minutes; the only sounds being heard are the distant noises from the car's motor and Heeseung humming along to the radio.

He breaks the silence by saying, "I was surprised to see you back there. You never really seemed like the type to enjoy parties."

You chuckle, "I could say the same for you; I don't remember you attending any in high school."

"That's 'cause house parties weren't my thing," he explains, "I went to raves or parties that would happen at the skate park. I don't really like being at someone else's house for too long; it feels too intimate."

Now that you think of it, skate park parties and raves seem much more like his scene.

"Well, I only went because Chaeryeong was going, and I didn't feel comfortable with her being there alone. Otherwise, I never would've gone." You admit, resting your head against the window.

"Thanks for looking after her, by the way. You're a good friend."

"I'd do anything for her." Your voice is barely a whisper now, getting quieter with every word you say.

Silence passes, and he says, "Did you know your guys' dorm room is gonna be right under ours?"

"Seriously?" You respond, genuinely curious.

"Mmm-hmm. My roommate, Sunghoon, and I are gonna be the worst upstairs neighbors ever." He teases as you roll your eyes. Your mind can't decipher whether this banter is playful & platonic or romantic. Everything Heeseung does confuses you.

"If that's the case, I'll be sure to move to an entirely new building."

"What, so you can have your boyfriend protect you?"

Pause. Boyfriend?

You nearly give yourself whiplash from how hard you spun around to look at Heeseung. "Boyfriend?" You ask.

He shrugs nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. "I just assumed you'd have one by now. Do you?"

There he is again with his mind games. What the fuck was he talking about?

After letting out a very frustrated sigh, you mumble, "No, Heeseung, I do not have a boyfriend."

"Good. Focus on school."

Now he's pissing you off. You wish he'd shut up for the rest of the car ride. "It's nice to see you again, by the way."

Holy shit, you feel like jumping out the window.

"Yeah, great seeing you too. Oh, there's my house. I can walk from here." You make quick work of undoing your seatbelt.

"You sure? I can drop you off at the door."

"No, no. It's best if my parents don't see you so they don't accidentally tell your parents that they saw you." You lie, racking your brain for any excuse imaginable.

He nods, deciding it's best to drop you off a little further from your house. "Then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"What?" You stop dead in your tracks, one hand clutching the door handle.

"Aren't you coming over tomorrow to help Chaeryeong get ready for her…thing? I'll be back home by then."

He's right; you'd be back in his house, and he'll be there this time. It's no big deal. You'd only be there for an hour (at most) to help her prepare, and then you could go the whole summer without seeing him again.

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

The following day, Chaeryeong is back to her unreasonable self, expecting you to wait at her house for her to return from her date.

"Please? We're just going to get pizza; we won't even be gone that long." She pleads, adding the finishing touches to her makeup.

You'd already spent over an hour helping her prepare, and now she expects you to do nothing but await her return. You know her heart's in the right place; she just wants to be the first to hear all the exhilarating details about her date. Still, a phone call would suffice.

"What am I supposed to do while I wait for you to come back?" You whine.

"Just hang out here! Watch a movie or something!" She suggests, trying her absolutely hardest to sound enthusiastic. Her phone buzzes in her hand before she has the chance to continue, eyes lighting up as they flicker across the bright screen.

Chaeryeong clutches her phone, locks eyes with you, then rushes towards the door. You're faster, though, quickly capturing her wrist before she's barely reached the hallway. "I'm going home."

"No! If you stay here, I'll bring you back pizza, and we can have a girls' night like we were supposed to yesterday! Come on, please?" She begs, pouting her lips.

You go to reply, but the bathroom door swings open, and Heeseung strides out. Just to your luck, he's shirtless; water droplets descend from his hair as he towel-dries it. As he enters his bedroom, he mocks his sister's high-pitched whine, earning a lethal glare and a slew of swears thrown at him.

Perhaps you should stay.

"Fine, but you're lending me your pajamas." You give in, earning an enthusiastic shriek from your best friend.

Chaeryeong wraps you in a brief, yet tight, hug before shouting, "Be back soon!" Then she's rushing down the stairs and out the front door. It's not often that Chaeryeong makes you wait for her return, but you absolutely despise it whenever it does occur. She's never back by the time she promises and gets upset when you try to call and check up on her.

And speaking of calling, you're sure your phone is dead by now. You insisted Chaeryeong bring her's along just in case, so you're left with one option.

Heeseung's door is wide open (as usual) when you go to knock. He's fully clothed now, pairing his black sweatpants with a matching black t-shirt. His hair appears mostly dry now, chaotic as ever, but dry. You don't think he's ever looked this good before.

He's sat on his bed, flipping through the latest copy of Rolling Stone when you arrive. He glances over at you and lets out a dry chuckle.

"What's so funny?" You ask.

"You're dressed like Bella Swan." He responds casually, eyes raking up and down your body.

"Who?"

"From Twilight. You know, that new movie that came out?" He seems genuinely surprised that you don't seem to know anything about this movie, not even the name of (who you suspect to be) the main character.

You lean against the doorframe, "Haven't seen it."

"It's a great movie, seriously. Some friends and I are seeing it in a few days if you and Chaeryeong wanna come." He suggests, flipping another page in the magazine.

You let him know you'll ask Chaeryeong if she's interested before remembering why you came to his room in the first place and ask if you can borrow his phone charger. Heeseung directs you to where it's plugged up by his desk, and you finally have the chance to stroll further into his room. You can't recall the last time you've been in here, but you know it looks much different than before. Many of the band posters that decorated the room were gone, his random trinkets and piles of clothes were gone, and not a single piece of his CD collection was in sight. It felt so lifeless, so unlike him. No wonder he always dreaded returning home; it probably didn't even feel like home to him.

"So," you say, attempting to break the silence, "you're here for the whole summer, huh?"

"Unfortunately." He mumbles, "Gonna try and go by sooner, convince my parents I have to sort out an issue with my dorm or something."

"It's nice to have you back, though." You admit, watching as Heeseung's gaze locks on yours.

"Yeah? It is?" He questions.

You shrug, "Of course. We practically grew up together; it was weird to not see you all the time."

He sits up now, closing the magazine and tossing it on his nightstand. There's something on his mind that he isn't saying; you can tell from the way his brows knit together and how he's anxiously tugging on his lip piercing. "It was weird to be gone," he mumbles and leaves it at that.

"By the way, I'm sorry about last night." He apologizes.

"For what? Calling me your sister?"

He laughs at this, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to do that on purpose, by the way. That guy was just...so weird, I kinda blurted out the first thing that would've made him feel weird for even thinking that."

Oh. That makes sense. You definitely overreacted.

"I meant," he continues, "I'm sorry if the whole boyfriend assumption thing upset you."

"Oh," you dismissively wave a hand at him, "that was nothing."

Heeseung raises a brow at you, "Are you sure? 'Cause you seemed pretty upset afterward, you were practically running out of my car."

There's no point in lying now, considering you weren't even the slightest bit discrete the previous night.

"If I'm being completely honest, I just felt a little awkward. But that's it, I swear." You assure him, moving to lean against the bedside table.

"Awkward about what?"

God, this was so embarrassing. Is he really going to make you humiliate yourself like this?

"Because I've never actually had a boyfriend before."

Heeseung looks genuinely shocked at your confession, eyes nearly bulging out of his head as he examines yours for any sign of deception. "You don't believe me?"

"I'm not sure. I only assumed you had one just based on how crazy guys were about you in high school. Not to mention you're, like, fucking gorgeous."

What?

"I'm what?" You ask, not entirely sure if you heard him correctly.

He repeats himself again, and you make him do it a few more times until he's too embarrassed to say it again. You somehow manage to get back on the topic of never having a boyfriend before when Heeseung asks you another question. "Have you ever...?"

He doesn't need to finish the sentence. You know what he's asking.

You shake your head.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business." He berates himself, and you assure him it's no big deal and that it shouldn't even be a shocker to him.

After a half hour of talking about whatever comes to mind, you wind up sitting opposite Heeseung on his bed, legs perched up underneath your body as you go back and forth, questioning one another.

"So, when are you gonna admit you had a crush on me?" His voice is barely a whisper.

"I never did." You lie.

"Really? That sucks?"

"Why?"

He shrugs, leaning his back against the headboard. "I just always thought that maybe you and I would've ended up together at some point."

You don't remember who leans in first; it doesn't matter; all that matters is after years of longing, your lips are finally intertwined with his. He must've smoked today; you can taste the nicotine on his breath. But it doesn't matter; you don't make the slightest move to pull away. Neither does he, placing his hands on the small of your back to guide you onto his lap.

Your body is moving on autopilot, limbs moving to do whatever feels right as you silently pray not to ruin the moment. Heeseung can spot your nervousness from a mile away and stop you, "We don't have to do—"

"I want to," you pant, breathless, "I've wanted this for so long."

"Do you trust me?" He asks.

"More than anything."

He kisses you again before adjusting your current position, slowly twisting yourselves until you're lying flat on your back. He moves his lips down towards your neck, leaving a trail of kisses in his path as he settles between your legs.

You reach up to grab a handful of his hair, nearly jumping out of your skin as his delicate fingertips creep up your inner thigh, inching closer and closer until his ghosting over your clothed pussy. "This okay?" He mumbles.

You nod, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Cute," he replies, "you're already so wet." His fingertips stroke your clit through your damp underwear; you don't think to wonder how he managed to get to it so quickly, all thoughts leaving your brain as he makes small circles using his middle and index finger.

"Heeseung…" You moan, pleading for him to do more.

"I know." He assures you, using a single finger to pull your panties to the side, making just enough room for him to slide a finger into your aching cunt. "Am I really your first time?"

You nod again out of fear that a moan would slip from your lips if you even tried to speak. His eyes are locked on yours, studying your expression as he coaxes a finger inside you. You're embarrassed at how quickly your wetness coated his finger, but Heeseung doesn't care. He likes it, makes him feel fucking amazing knowing the effect he had on you.

"Take your shirt off." He says, and you do as told, pulling your top up and off your body and tossing it to the floor; making quick work of undoing your bra before he even has the chance to ask.

His lips are back on your neck instantly, trailing down to your collarbone until he reaches the curve on your breast. He halts his actions momentarily before your pitched nipple is caught between his teeth and your back arching off the bed from how overstimulating everything feels.

You curse under your breath, and Heeseung makes another comment about how cute you are, though you feel far from it. He apologizes by lapping his tongue around your nipple, easing the pain slowly as he inserts a second finger into your cunt.

You can feel his bulge against your thigh, though he doesn't even care about getting himself off. He moves over to your nipple, licking and sucking until it's completely hardened, leaving himself breathless. The two fingers that had been working your cunt had picked up the pace now, and there was an unfamiliar feeling in your gut that you couldn't identify.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" You groan, legs trembling.

Heeseung is all too familiar with these actions and asks, "You're already close? I've barely done anything to you." He teases, chuckling to himself.

You know he's being lighthearted, but you can't help but feel embarrassed at the tears forming in your eyes from how good everything feels.

Suddenly, he's pulling his fingers out of you, and now you feel like crying for a different reason. You go to protest but stop to watch as he takes his shirt off. If you weren't sure then, it's obvious now he'd started attending the gym.

He makes quick work of tugging his sweatpants down his legs, tossing them into the abyss before reaching into his bedside table and retrieving a condom. "You're okay?"

You nod.

"Use your words."

“I’m okay, Heeseung.”

"You're still okay with this?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

Jesus fucking Christ, the saint this man is.

"I'm positive." You assure him.

You move to pull down your skirt and underwear, but Heeseung catches your wrist. "Leave them on," he says. There are so many things going on that you choose not to question.

He pulls off his boxers in the meantime, hardened cock slapping against his abdomen with precum leaking from the tip. Though you had nothing to compare it to, Heeseung was obviously slightly larger than average. You shouldn't be surprised; it's always the guys that you'd least expect.

He tears the condom wrapper with his teeth, retrieving the rubber inside before tossing the remains to his floor. Despite being fully erect, he fists his cock a few times before sliding the condom on.

He crawls over you, left arm at the side of his head, while he uses his dick to nudge your panties to the side. "This still okay?"

"I already told you—fuck!" He cuts you off, the tip of his cock slowly making its way inside you. You feel so stretched out from this alone you don't know how you'd manage to fit all of him into you.

Heeseung must be feeling the same, swearing under his breath and commenting about how tight you feel around him. Second by second, he coaxes himself into your pussy until you feel like you could split right open. "Are you all the way in?"

"No, can't take anymore?" He asks, leaning his head down against your ear.

You're embarrassed to admit he's too big to handle on your first time, but it's the truth. You don't want to overextend yourself just to please him and end up hurting yourself.

"You can move, just…not too much. Please."

Heeseung nods, "Whatever you want, angel."

He pulls his hips back and rocks himself back in, being sure to ask if you're okay with his pace. Once you confirm you feel fine and want him to keep going, he continues his movements; his eager hips snapping against yours and his cock hitting your G-spot with each deep stroke. You feel like you're on cloud nine, hands tangled in his hair as he swallows your moans.

That unfamiliar feeling from earlier returns; you feel it through your entire body this time. A moan of his name escaping your lips lets him know you're close. How he can always sense these things is beyond you; it's not worth overthinking.

"Close?" He asks, and you nod frantically.

Heeseung picks up his speed slightly, careful not to overwhelm you, but just enough to reach your climax, until finally, the bundle of nerves in your abdomen snaps, and your back is arching off the mattress as you come around his cock.

He's only a few seconds behind with his orgasm, erupting in a loud grunt when he finally reaches it. The two of you lay in silence for a moment before Heeseung finally pulls out of you and slides the condom off, tying it in a knot and tossing it into his trash bin.

"Are you okay?" He asks for what feels like the millionth time.

"I'm fine." You respond, and it isn't a lie. Physically, you feel terrific; mentally, it was an entirely different story. "Are you?"

"I'm good, I'm good."

As much as you would love to lay naked with Heeseung in his bed for the rest of the night, you know Chaeryeong will be home anytime soon. "I think I'm gonna go wash up."

He nods, crawling under his covers once you stand from his bed, tugging your skirt to its proper length as you search for your remaining clothing. "Oh, it's um…your shirt, it's over there." Heeseung awkwardly gestures towards a pile of clothing by the end of his bed.

Almost as quickly as you shred yourself of them, you snatch your clothing and bundle them up against your chest.

"Listen, I know right now isn't really ideal, but I meant what I said about liking you, and really think we should talk." He says nervously, barely even able to look at you.

You almost want to laugh at how cute he is; instead, you agree to talk to him about it soon. You're about to head out into the hallway when Heeseung reminds you about your charging phone over by his desk.

You retrieve it and scan the area again, ensuring you haven't left anything else behind. When everything seems clear, you stand upright, but your eyes fall toward the trash bin near his window with the discarded condom. You're embarrassed to even look at it until you realize something seems off. It looks…empty.

Now, you're no sex expert, but imagine that if Heeseung had finished, there'd be something to show for it in the condom. Right?

Did he fake his orgasm? Was this another one of his fucked up mind games you'd been subjected to?

You don't know what to think as you step into the bathroom; your emotions are all over the place, and all you really want to do is go home. But you promised Chaeryeong you'd be here when she returns, so you stay.

The next time a Lee sibling asks if you're okay is twenty minutes later when Chaeryeong finally arrives and asks why your eyes are so watery.

"I'm fine." You respond, and you're lying for the first time that night.

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