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Yoontopia Chapter 10 { Breaking Chains }

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, insomnia, and anxiety. Realization of fears of uncertainty.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: It’s been ten days since Violet left. Yoongi’s first night home from being in-patient turns out to not only be his escape, but all of Jin’s worries. He shows a new light of himself and his mind facing the struggles of sleepless nights without Violet.

⟡ 7.4k words

Yoongi pov:

Ten days, at least that's what Jin told me yesterday. She left under my own terms for the first time. I went in-patient by myself pretty much with Jin and Hobi by my side of course. Today is day one out and I feel numb but also better than ever before days seemed to run together in there. It feels like a new understanding of what I need to do to prepare for when she gets back to me. Yesterday I got out with two more medications since it was rough to say the least. I was screaming and couldn’t regulate my emotions as soon as I walked in the door after following her to the end of the city limits in another man's car. Taehyung’s car.

I left in the middle of the night after however many days it's been, which I learned yesterday was nine at eleven when Jin and Hobi went to bed. I snuck out like a damn teenager and ended up in her apartment, in her bed. Ten days it’s been ten days. Somehow he knew where I was, okay no I knew how he knew with the little app we have everyone’s location on it. Which includes Vi, Hans, Jin, Hobi, and me. It was Hobi that insisted we all make accounts even showing how fast you’re driving in my case riding. I think Jin used Hobi to make it not seem as bad, because one hundred percent was Jin’s idea. He already has sent texts about where I’m.

Laying in her spot under these black sheets, clicking on the app which I forget we even have until emergencies, I can see Vi is at her new apartment. I already sent a letter to her hoping it arrives soon, it was sent the last day I was in-patient. The letter trick from my therapist really has become a coping skill that helps me express all my pent up emotions even if I’m just writing them for myself in future. We haven’t spoken to each other since she left, Jin was the one to get the “I’m here safe, love you guys.” from Vi. She knew what would happen when we spoke about it. The plan was no matter what state I was in the moment she left and I was in our apartment with him taking my phone to let me feel my emotions in a safe way and not making it harder on both of us constantly reaching out.

She had more control than me in that department. I throw my phone across her room in anger of what is to come. I feel myself thinking back to the last moments with her reliving it as I stare up at her ceiling of stars. I let out a sigh as I played it back.

Sitting on the steps of her apartment building all doesn't feel real as I watched the car pull away. Jin and Hobi are standing behind waiting. What for? Me, to know how bad I'm going to break. They know it. I know it. This goodbye is for a little while, but it feels like forever. She has been gone for not even five minutes and I feel like my world has been hit by hell's wrath. She is in safe hands. I know that with Taehyung he wouldn't do anything to hurt her, I see the way he still looks at her. Do you think I didn't know about the nights he came to the apartment after Hans moved out? I do.

It was not my place to, and if he gave her any comfort in her time of need. I'm grateful he was able to do it. He still looks at her with those glaze over brown eyes full of warmth. I don't know if it is pure adoration for her as a person or love Taehyung and I never got close. I didn't want to, mentally I couldn't become best friends with the guy she was with at that time. Did I spend time with both of them? Yes, I had no choice if I wanted to visit Vi during that time. The way she didn't even cry saying goodbye but I could feel it in the pits of my stomach. Her eyes were glazed over with sparkles forming as she looked at us one last time. Just like the way her eyes glittered with sparkles not even two hours ago dancing in my arms, this time it wasn't sparkles of joy. They were littered with sparkles waiting to fall on her gorgeous face.

"Yoongi, are you okay?" Jin is the first to say something.

Turning my head and looking at them both with solemn faces looking at me. They know what's ahead of me don't they, But me? I don't at least not fully.

"Ya know? I'm not fucking okay Jin. But I have one more thing I need to do. Then both of you can choose what you think is right for me."

"W-what do you mean one last thing Yoongs?" Hobi speaks up this time.

I just want to see her face smile one last time. She doesn't need her last memory to be sad. Fuck no. My last memory for months will not be seeing her eyes look at me like that, standing up from the stairs looking at my bike. I know what I need to do. This will be the ending we both need.

"Jin give me my keys." holding my hand out towards him. I understand why he took them as we all decided it wasn't best if I drove home tonight. "Hell no." he says in an instant. "Look me in the eyes." he deadpans and meets my eyes Looking at him with the most serious face I can give him to make it known it's needed. "If you were not going to see Hobi for months. Would you want your last memory with him with the face that she had on?" I say it more agitated because of the situation I’m in. "W-well no" I gestured my hand towards him to give me my keys.

"Then give me my keys so I can make her smile one last time, and end this night on a good note for her and myself. Please just this once trust me even though I'm completely in an episode. I need this. She needs this."

He breaks eye contact and looks at Hobi for reassurance; he just gives him a nod. Thank fuck for Hobi. Reaching into his pocket to take out my keys, placing them in my hand. "I swear to every existence, if you don't make it back in one piece to me in an hour." pulling his hand back with the keys lightly.

"I will raise hell through this whole town and when I find you I'll kill you myself." I let out a little laugh knowing he definitely would.

"I promise, one hour. Thank you, both of you." I give him a small smile, reaching down on the steps grabbing my helmet that is next to me, putting it on, buckling it up. Rushing down the steps I need to find their car and it's only one direction they could be taking to get out of town. I can make her smile one last time even if it's just from a car window and my bike on the highway.

Taking my phone out and sending her a text even though we promised to give each other a little bit of time, but right now she is getting her warning even if she doesn't see it that way. There is always deeper meaning to things in my head.

Me: See you soon, Love.

Getting on my bike as fast as I can, starting the engine hearing it purr, giving it rev. Fuck it I don't care its late at night habits shouldn't be broken I have learned that from Vi. Kicking the stand and driving off onto the empty road. This late night ride will be different.

Speeding down the road making a right turn to get to the road to take me to the highway they can't make it that far, and if they have I'll kill him then he is speeding like no other with the most precious cargo in his car. As I hit the on ramp to the highway its pretty much completely empty, good they won't have any fuckers on the road to bother them on the long drive.

There is one semi on the same lane as the on ramp point my left hand out to let them know I'm merging onto the road. They slow down for me, letting me on the road as I get on the highway I accelerate. Faster. Faster. I need to catch up.

Making it down four mile markers I see the first car other than a semi please. Please be them. Should have paid more attention to the car she was getting into, but it was her that had my full attention Like she always has had. Turning my throttle, getting in the right lane as the car is in the middle lane. Come on Yoongi, you can do this. I see my phone light up in the stand and it's a one word text from VI.

Vi: Yoongi.

I smirk because she can't know there is no way she is prob mad at the fact I texted her so quickly since we said to at least give each other until she is there. She would send a text to Jin when they got there safely. Sorry my princess I had to break it to see you smile one last time. Approaching the car I see her little stuffed animal on the dash that's my girl. The stuffed animal I got her. It's them, a wave of relief washes over me. As I get side by side with the car I see Vi looking at Taehyung. I can see her face but I see he is driving with one hand, the other rubbing her arm.

I know her too well. She is crying and probably told him to keep driving so that if they stopped she would not be able to leave. As I get next to her window Taehyung sees me and we make a quick glance at each other as he does. I hold my finger up to my helmet as if to keep quiet, don't tell her. Letting my bike fall a little bit behind them I open my phone and click call on her contact. It's in my helmet when I hear it.

Ring..Ring..Ring..Ring...

"Y-yoongi." is all she can get out. I hear her sob as she gasps for air after saying my name.

"Now why is the Princess crying when her peasant is so close? Why don't you roll down the window and get some fresh air you know that always helps you.”

"Huh Yoon, where are you? I can hear the wind, where are you?" and she does. I hear the wind coming through the phone as she rolls it down. I rev my bike and accelerate to be next to her.

"Yoon!" she has fresh wet tears rolling down her cheeks as they are glistening under the moonlight shining into the car. "Ya know I can't leave you cryin." She makes a small smile, one hand is on the window seal trying to get as close as she can to me. I get my bike as close as I can to their car and she holds her hand out to touch mine. "No, only if you wipe those forsaken tears from your beautiful face." she sniffles and wipes her face with the sleeve of my hoodie I gave her.

As soon as she wipes then she sticks her hand out again. I have to be careful and match the speed with their car to do this and as I get to the point I'm okay with taking my hand off my bike. Her hand meets my glove and she is grabbing onto it lightly as if she could break if she grasped me fully. one hand on me and the other holding her phone so she can hear me. "I love you princess. Now I'ma let go and ride with you until you get out of the city lines. I better get one of my Vi aquarium smiles." as I let go our fingertips brush against each other she smiles a true smile. That's my girl.

Running my hands on these sheets back and forth, hearing my phone vibrate repeatedly, someone is calling me and I dont have the power to get up from this comfort. The sheets come up over my bare chest, my fingers lightly running across the sheet over my body. My eyes shut and I think of what it was like to pick her up and not just be coming over to see my sister, or check on her. It felt like a dream I saved for my utopia, falling back into it.

We are in Jin’s car driving down the road but not without the pout she has on her face from not being on the bike, and here I thought she couldn't get more perfect. “Vi.” I say reaching over, placing my hand on her thigh, okay maybe a car would be nice to do this with her sometimes. Only sometimes though. She doesn’t reply to me so I repeat “Violet.” Waiting a couple seconds to hear her voice, but nothing comes. “Violet Rose.” her thigh twitches under my hand with her not answering. I start to get anxious thinking about all the things she could have in her head.

I start to tap her thigh with my fingers on her thigh trying to calm down the wreckage the ship is sailing in my stomach. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. When I hit the fifth time her head turns to me. “Sorry, Yoons I’m in my head.” my thumb brushes up against her thigh “About what baby?” the name rolls off my tongue without a thought. “Why me? It feels like I cheated you out at monopoly and got Park Place." What the hell is she thinking about monopoly?

“I'm sorry, what? Monopoly?” I replied way too quickly out of confusion.

“Yeah, it's like a game that you play for hours but in my case years. I’m just waiting for me to not be in the lead anymore.” she says the last word like it's her last one she's holding onto, pressing her finger onto the tip of my nail, tapping on it a few times. “When am I gonna be in last place again?” she whispers.

Hearing her waiting for our demise is not refreshing nor comforting, but I can't blame her. I'm feeling it too. We get to the red light before her building, the red light shining down on us feeling like it's telling me to run, red means bad in call caps it says. I turn and look at the only girl I have ever loved, her hand on her neck playing with the necklace I got her, there’s a whisper of a smile on her lips looking out the window. “Vi I-” she cuts me off while shaking her head “Yoongi no just tonight let it be.” I’ll do anything she asks so I just nod in response, and the light turns green.

The cabin of the car is so quiet, it is oddly comforting to just exist with her. When we park she turns and looks over at me a smile tugs on her beautiful face. “No more suits Min Yoongi, I want my grumpy motorcycle boy." I let out a laugh with how she described me, but she said I’m hers. God if only she knew all of me is hers down to every cell in my body.

When we park and she gives a poke to my hand I hum in response. “No more suits for Min Yoongi, I want my motorcycle boy back.” she laughs and before I can pull her in and mess her, she bolts out the door and is already running up the stairs. How the hell is she running in those heels? Rushing to catch up to her “Violet Rose!” yelling as I open the door. She is already half way into the door as I get her purse from her side of the car.

She always has kept me on my toes, shaking my head letting her have her little race because once I get to her there will only be one winner and it's going to be me. As i get into the building the security guard Namjoon just points at the elevator “I think she is not sane right now. She was laughing like she was on something and asking what way would be faster.” he laughs. “I don't know what would happen if she was sane Joon.” laughing at her antics I love so much. “ Also did she let you know about not being here?” he nods. “Care to watch after her place if I’m not here so frequently?”

“Of course she said I better not and I quote ‘do not let mister grumpy mope here’ we all know who she was talking about.” I roll my eyes at him unaware just how much he knows me and wondering just how much she has told him. “Thank you Joon, sorry but mister grumpy will mope all he wants. I gotta catch up to the sane one of us, you got that part wrong bud.” I give him a laugh and bolt up the stairs.

When I got up the stairs, opening the door to her floor, I heard a laugh so light and door slamming. Walking down the hall, her purse in my hand, the weight of the night is setting in once we have some time this will be over until she is back. My light will dim and I’ll be by myself with the shadows, not letting them take over just yet I shake it off.

I knock on her door. “Hello, I’m looking for a princess” I hear a giggle from behind the door and I can't help but burst out smiling. “Oh! There may be one here who is asking.” damn I love her. “Just a peasant trying to return her purse.” She creaks the door. “Oh how forgetful of her. I’ll take it.” I push the door in and look down at her, flushed skin, bright wide eyes scanning over me.

“Oh look I found her.” talking a step into her bubble. “She should have found a better hiding place.” she says. I take another step and shut the door with my foot that makes her jump a little bit. “Oh yeah? Well no matter where she hides, I will always find her. Always.” taking in her appearance in front of me.

Violet is looking up at me with a light smile that she can't seem loose. “It's one of my smiles.” she says with a glow in her eyes, my brows crease wondering what she meant. “You’re smiling, Yoon. One that is reserved for me.” she reads me like a book she explains, this girl will be the end of me. I didn't even notice I was smiling. “There all for you Violet. Please give me my fix.” I beg it like I can't get enough. I need her to fill my lungs up so I can breathe again. She took the air and she is the key to fix it, pulling her into me closer my hands resting at the bottom of her back and hips where the dress cuts out.

I hear a wrapper unwrapping from her hands and she really thinks that is what I need? I fucking need her. “I thought you'd say that. Here ya go Yoons.” she holds up a pineapple lollipop in between us, tightening my grip on her back letting out a grunt. “You know that's not I meant Vi.” she returns my glare “ Fine more for me.” she plops it into her mouth letting out a hum when it hits her tongue. This fucking brat.

I let out a breath and tapped on her back feeling her skin again, pulling her closer with our eyes locked on each other. “ Violet.” she hums in response, sucking on the lollipop. “Give me what I want. We have a deal.” her right side of her lip curves up ever so slightly taking the lollipop out her mouth “I offered and you declined Yoongs.” shrugging. She really wants to get a reaction out of me and I’m gonna give her exactly what she wants.

“Violet Rose.” her back straightens at the sound of her middle name. “Yes?” her voice is softer. “We have a deal and I’d hate to have to mess up this masterpiece in front of me, but if a brat wants to play we’ll fucking play.” her bites on her bottom lip nodding, my tongue ring slid across my teeth when it did I noticed her skin prickles with goosebumps. I bend down where her hand is frozen in place with the lollipop and wrap my mouth around it, bite it in half and the crunch sound is all that is heard in the space between us besides a small gasp from her.

Her eyes are wide locked on me as I finish chewing on the hard candy in my mouth. An explosion of flavor in my mouth, but all I can think about is if it tastes any different coming from her mouth. I know it does. “You stole my lollipop Mister!” glaring at me. A deep rumble comes from my chest “And what ya gonna do about it, Mins.” she rolls her eyes crossing her arms all the while I take a small step into her bubble.”You said you would never call me that again.”

“I might have stopped calling you that to your face but to me you’ll always be, my Mins.” When she was smaller than both Hans and I we called her “Mini” which turned into “Mins” for our surname since she was always family to us, a way to make her ours. When she got mad about using it until she was thirteen and said she was too old to be called it even though she is still smaller than both of us, we both caved when she started to tear up saying everyone would make fun of her.

So behind closed doors she was “Mins” not only to my Hans and I but our parents also and we never used it in front of her. Deep down I wonder if younger me was just as desperate to make her mine as I’m now and just showed it in a different way, less hidden. Hell, I gave her my surname as a nickname to make her my family when we were teens.

“Your Mins?” she raises an eyebrow, my boots meet her toes she taps the top of them. I lean and whisper to her “Step up Miss Mins.” her lip twitches up and there are those sparkles I meet in my utopia. “Like old times?” nodding my head “Like old times Vi.” I give her a small smile, her cheeks dusted with a pinkie color that matches the sky on a spring day.

She doesn’t waste a second stepping up on top of my boots wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing her cheek to my chest. “I’m gonna move Vi.” she just hums back. I tighten my hold on her, taking one small step at a time until we get into her kitchen. Just like all the times we found each late at night when she would stress bake. “There's no cookies this time, what a shame.” she sighs.

“I’ll give you something sweet.” I whisper in her neck inhaling her scent. “You know I always need something sweet when I stress.” I take one more long inhale of her and press a small kiss on her neck and sway us back and forth ever so slightly. Her father might have done this for her growing up but I hope I live up to the man that will set the standards I’ll live up to for the rest of my days to be hers. Leaning back from her swaying us side to side, she lifts her head from my chest and a small smile at the corners of her lips.

Moving my hand from her back to her cheek, lightly rubbing my thumb. She leans into my hand, her eyes are blinking slowly. She is content, this is always the way to get her to be calm when everything is falling apart. I smile back at her and lean down, giving her the option if she wants to kiss me or not. When she tips her head up at me, not waiting I seal my lips with her and I’m back to life again.

Her hands tighten on my jacket and she whimpers a little bit into my mouth when I brush my teeth along her lip. The kiss is all consuming. I feel like I can breathe again but at the same time I’m suffocating. Suffocating because I don't know when I will get this relief, this love again. She pulls back panting against my lips. “Pineapple mhm.” I chuckle a little bit. “Sweet enough for you Vivi?” she nods, locking our lips again savoring every single moment. She mumbles against my lips “It's always sweet enough with you Yoon.” I hear a bang in her apartment and it pulls me out of my utopia.

“Min Yoongi!” Oh shit, I know that voice all too well. Jin.

I roll in her sheets and I swear I get a whiff of her scent on her pillow. The door bursts open and I hear a sigh. They’ve caught me. “I know you’re up, wanna explain or let me go on my rant?” Jin says I grunt in response. “Well here is the phone I have been blowing up. Oh! Also Vi just texted.” that makes me jump up. I scramble from her bed reaching for my phone in his hand.” Ah. Ah.” Jin pulls my phone away from me. “Talk.”

Giving him a glare exhaling strongly. “Fine. I couldn't stay away, it holds her in here, holds us Jin." I look at him pleading. “Please just tell me what she said.” This is the first time I've noticed Namjoon is also here. Great. Hobi hands my shirt over to me but it feels like sandpaper compared to her sheets. I shrug it on, grunting when it touches me. “She said ‘I need you.’ god you both are lovesick doing this to yourselves.” at this point I don't waste any time and snatch my phone from him quickly typing back.

Me: You’re so strong, my love. I love you. Say the three little words and I’ll be on my bike in less than 5. You know them.”

I wait for the dots to appear. She is typing but I don't see them, not as fast as I would like. Hobi is the first to say “We were worried Yoongi, don't mind mister grandpa over here.” jabbing his thumb in Jin’s direction, which gets a glare from Jin but also a snort from Namjoon. “I just needed to feel close to her, it's just-” biting on my lip looking at them “We haven’t been this long apart in years. Since I was last in-patient.” my voice grows smaller at the end of the sentence.

“I’m gonna leave ya to it if you all need anything let me know” Namjoon says giving me a look i know all too well pitty. They both thank him and I’m sitting here like a child about to be scolded for breaking a rule. “Go ahead, say it.”

“Say what Yoongi. That I was worried you got on your bike and ran off the road? That you might have come to her place and hurt yourself from it being a trigger. Tell me what else could have been running through my head.” Jin plops down on the bed beside me, shoving his hand in his hair. “I can’t think about not having my best friend so yeah I worry. I wouldn't have come here or blown up your phone if you would have just called me. Hell even texted me you were okay.”

Placing my hand on his shoulder as much as he doesn't like to admit it he's a softy for physical touch, especially my rare moments. “ I should have answered that it was my fault, once it kept going I threw it cause it-” he shrugs my hand off and wraps his arm around me. “ made me mad, it was taking me out of my safe place in my mind. With her.” I whisper.

“Are you hallucinating again Yoongi?” Hobi asks, I shake my head no. I guess it's time to explain my escape. “You might want to take a seat for this Hobi.” he takes a spot next to Jin placing his hand on his thigh. What I wouldn't do to have the comfort of Vi right now.

“Since my Second long term In-patient as a teen, a way to make it more survivable I was told by a therapist to create a room in my head of all the most precious things in my life to remember what is worth living for.” I gulp reaching for her sheet, balling it into my fist for comfort. “My teenage mind went straight to Vi.” letting out a sigh finally telling someone this part of me “I think though no matter what age, it would always be her. I was not able to see her there so my mind drifted to her, laughing, smiling, messing around with Hans, Trying to annoy the ever loving shit of me.” I laugh a little, Jin starts to rub comforting circles on my shoulder.

“After the first time I did it was like I locked her up in my mind just for me whenever I needed her, not just her but any sort of comfort and a will to live. If she could smile like that after everything she has been through, how could I not push through and be there for her, to see the woman she would become.”

Hobi speaks up “everyone deals with trauma in a different way Yoon, but she should not be your only reason to live. You do not want to live for yourself? To prove to your own self you did it and made it out on the other side?” He makes a good point and I’m finally getting to that point of realizing that. I have come a long way.

“It's what it used to be like. Recently my views have changed even though I live for her, I live for myself too.” that earns me a squeeze on my shoulder. “ Back to what I was saying. It was a room with walls like the hospital, but she slowly turned it into a home with fuzzy blankets, nick nacks she randomly pops up with, and those silk sheets she swears by.” I smile at the thought of my home she built in my mind.

“She made it a safe zone in your own mind.” Jin whispers, finally catching on, I nod.

“A safe zone I had unlimited access to, and don't you dare ask if I thought of other things I know you’re itching to know.” Jin sighs “Fine.” Hobi laughs at that. It feels nice to talk to them about this together in a way they are my second safe zone. “It became a place I only let myself Indulge in as I got older, I’d lock it up with Imaginary locks Which turned into chains. At one point I had it under military guard trying to keep myself from it.” my lip twitches and I swallow the emotions I often hide.

“But why lock it up when he was keeping you going? We all have a vice.” Hobi asks and he reaches over Jin to pull my fingers away from picking at my cuticles. I don't acknowledge what I was doing, just continue spilling everything I have been holding onto all these years. “I kept it from myself because at times I was scared of my mind when at low points I would confuse them and I would tell her, or say something that should be kept for my own little escape.” biting down on the inside of my lip, tasting the metallic fire that I caused it washes over me in comfort knowing this is real.

“Thank you for telling me Yoongs; I know this is a safe zone for you but does she know?” Jin looks at me, gaining my attention and his gaze lingers on my lip; he points to the tissues at the bedside table and Hobi hands one over to him and wipes my lip of the one thing telling me this was real. I shake my head no, and they both just nod, sighing “I’m not ready to.”

“Okay.” they both say in unison knowing not to push me too far. “Just know the longer you wait the worse the reaction you may get from her. I may see it as a coping skill, but to her she may see it as you didnt want to make those steps with the real her keeping her in the dark.” I know this; having thought about it from years in facilities at night wondering when I would open up to her. The way this all played out I didn't even have time to be with her let alone say.

“Hey, I have a place in my head that is just you and me in my own utopia and I use it to escape the world.You built it and made it a home with all your stuff, your scent, laugh, and smiles. Oh by the way I have loved you since we were kids.” that would go over so well don't you think. Yeah nope; feeling a tap on my shoulder Jin just gives me a small smile “You there?” Giving him a nod, I just want a moment alone to think to just be.

“Can I stay a little longer? I’ll come home; promise." They both know Jin squeezes my shoulder and Hobi squeezes my hand getting up to leave. “Be home in an hour or this time I’m really getting your ass.” Jin says; Hobi pats his back laughing giving us both some lightness to the conversation. “You better be back or he might throw your stuff out at this point, see you soon Yoongi. We love you even if he can be a little overbearing.” Jin lets out a gasp and walks out the door. Damn I love them, a small smile spreads across my lips.

Once I hear the door shut; pulling my shirt off getting back into my own safe haven within these back sheets under the stars. I get my phone Seeing ‘read’ on the conversation with Vi with three little bubbles that are continuously starting and stopping. What is she trying to type out? Come on baby say something.

I stare at the ceiling pulling the chains back and slip into my mind; Violet is next to me in her bed were cuddling watching ‘Fruits Basket’ for what feels like the hundredth time. She smells of vanilla and some musk to her, she starts to smell like myself meshing into one person. Tapping on my stomach with her dainty hands giggling at something Kyo just did, and I find myself comparing myself to the young boy in the show hiding his feelings from girl the loves, let alone himself. He does acts of service for her and shows her in small acts but he lets his anger sometimes get the better of him with other people. Damn I really could be him, and Violet is so much like Trohu happy go lucky, living in the moment trying to move on from her past; putting everyone ahead of herself. Is she connected to this show because she sees herself in it?

My phone vibrates on my chest; jolting to look at it.

Vi: I love you too, Yoongs. I see you at the apartment mister. 👀

A wave of comfort rolls through my chest like a tidal wave. She looks where I’m just I do her. See I’m not a stalker.

Me: What can I say you were right about these sheets miss.

Vi: Meh Should’ve brought them with me you hog! 😑

Me: Nah then I’d be coming to you the moment you got them on your bed.

Vi: I bought you your own set!

Me: Well Violet they don't SMELL like YOU.

After that text her bubbles put up and starting and stopping by the looks of it I got her right where I wanted, questioning everything about us, herself, me and most of all our situation. How did we ever get to this point? We got here cause we’re too jagged puzzle pieces trying to mold our sides to become one.

Vi: Looks like I’ll need to do a sheetz exchange with you huh?

Me: You’re really trying to get me to never leave your place sweets?

Vi: Maybe you’re right where I want you in my bubble.

I blank out at the last text from her. In her bubble? She wants me here? Wait this just fuels me to never leave to make this place even more a home with her being gone and set up the second bedroom in a cozy den for her to escape to with all her little trinkets on shelves. Make her kitchen into the baker's dream with everything she could want. All the tools to finally get those french toast correct; put up ‘Fruits Basket’ decor little zodiac statues on a shelf with a picture of me and her in the middle of all the little figures.

Vi: You thinkin alot about that last message. Look who's the cat now, I got your tongue Yoongi.

Vi: I’ll say it for you Yoongs. It's yours too since the day Hans and I moved in there it has always been part yours. Use the space to make OURS. It hasn't felt like home since Hans left besides when you are there. 🫶🏻

Me: Ours?

Vi: You listen to me you doof. Yes! OURS.

Me: Yeah okay ours as in us. I’ll make it home for you. I’ll be waiting for you baby.

She sends a voice memo next and her voice comes out airy, with sleepy heavy on her tongue.

“I love you Min Yoongi, next time don’t go missing on Jin he’ll kill me if I’m the reason. Don't tell Hobi, but I think Jin might love you more.” She laughs continuing “Tell me everything I missed in the last ten days. I’m not used to not knowing what you’re up to. How was in-patient? Oh! You tell them about me? Mhm Yoongs?” She takes a pause. “Don’t tell me tonight, give me the mystery for tonight. I can't sleep, new places are always hard for me. What if someone recognizes me from dad? No, I can't think about that. Just let me hear your voice once and I’ll go to bed Yoongs.” she sighs

Hearing her voice makes me grip my phone to the point of leaving indents in my palm. She wants to know everything but little does she know she has a whole letter coming her way to tell her absolutely everything that has happened, but I’ll give her what she asked for. My hand feels clammy holding my phone like a teenager talking to their crush for the first time. What the hell is wrong with me? I have seen her in her most vulnerable position cumming on me. Nope, don't go there Yoongi. So starting the memo for her

“Hi baby, don’t worry I think Hobi already knows Jin loves me more but let's not rain on their parade they got going on.” I laugh a bit at that. “ As for telling you everything baby; watch out for your mail, you'll be getting something soon to give you all the intel you need. I’m totally winking by the way and the smirk you love so much on my lips. Don't you lie, Sweets. we both know you love it.” I pause and sigh, running my tongue ring across my teeth thinking where I should go with this. My other hand falls to my neck pulling on the chain, holding the pendant moving it back and forth.

“Have you one of those lollipops you love so much have that pineapple for me, I know I sure do need my fix.” I look over on her nightstand and see one there. I know what I will do for her the moment I see it. “As for your dad baby, there is no running from our past but only running with it, it's a race you will cross together cause you are one with it my strong girl. We will be in this race together tho it will not just be your past, present and future running with you including me in that race and I will trip them when they get too much on you holding them back go you can catch some space.” I reach out and pull the lollipop from her nightstand grabbinging, and setting my phone on my chest. Starting to unwrap the lollipop I get a smell of the taste that has been all consuming me; She consumes me without knowing.

“You hear that sound baby? It's your favorite thing, your pineapple lollipops. I want you to have one and think of every single time we have shared one. Let the taste fill your senses; get lost in us baby. I’m right there with you holding it out for you to take. Escape with me to a place that is ours in your silk sheets under the stars. I love you Violet Rose; goodnight my love.”

Once I send it I see ‘read’ right away and waiting for a response feels like a lifetime from her. I just want to wrap her in my arms and never let her carry her with me wherever I go. The never ending bubbles pop up and stop again; I start to overthink. Did I say too much? Go too far? All i did was open up just like if she was here looking into those misty eyes that suck me into the void with them taking me all for herself.

After a few minutes I get another voice memo from my girl; instantly I feel my stomach drop with nerves. I suck in a breath and press play letting the lollipop taste take all my senses.

“Yoongs, you know how much I love you?” my cheek goes aflame; smiling like an idiot. I hear her rustling with her sheets. “I got my lollipop, they were still packed, maybe I’m turning into you needing a fix.” she laughs at herself; hearing the crinkle of the wrapper come off it I can picture it, no picture of her with the moon cascading off her walls spread across her body laying in bed in my hoodie. “Thank you Yoons for being here for me tonight.” she says in a whisper, and I want to cut her off instantly, pull her into my chest and tell her I’ll always be there for her.

“I’m excited to see what you have coming for me. I'll be waiting to hear about everything. Don’t scare Jin too much kay? He's getting old” she laughs; I hear the lollipop scrap across her teeth a hum. “You were right this is what I needed. You and us even if it's in my head.” she trails off. “Goodnight Yoonie.”

I don't think I have in me to send another voice memo because my chest feels like it's caving in and I need to ground myself so I don't slip. Tapping my fingers on my chest

One. Violet. Two. Her smile. Three. Pineapples with Violet. Four. Her laugh. Five. Her heart of gold.

Me: Goodnight, my love. I love you sweet dreams. I’ll see you in them.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

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yoon-topias · 1 year ago

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Yoontopia Chapter 9 { Lock and Key }

⟡ Warnings: Prison visitation for court case, Reference to domestic ab*se, threaten to fight, Fluff, angst, soft!Yoongi, Use of lock and key (they are each others) They both are so soft for each other accepting their fate in their lives together.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: It’s been ten days since Violet left home to try and get her standing in the world. She struggles to fall asleep and falls into the cycle of remembering the past all the way to the last day with Yoongi.

⟡ 5.4k words

Violet Pov:

Marking another day on the calendar, it has been ten days. Ten days since I woke up in his arms, Ten days since he turned our night into an actual romance book. Ten days since I heard his voice. I can still feel the way his fingertips traced my collar bone as we slowed dance in a crowd of people to rap music of all things. “Yoon what are you doing!” His deep laugh makes me crumble and fight anything I have left. “I’m getting my do over what does it look like?” as he pulled me in close ignoring all the people around us at the so called “after party” to the main event. My farewell.

Min Yoongi, what are you doing to me?

Life has been well crazy to say the least two days ago. Tae left for the last time leaving me in this empty place of an apartment, well it's not empty just is empty of any emotional attachment. There is no entry way table I had to have so Yoongi had a place for our helmets, no pictures that line the hall leading to the main bedroom of the three of us recreating our childhood photos that Hans just had to do. “Come on guys please! It’ll be funny just look at Yoongi. He's wearing a princess crown with a tutu!” Yoongi grumbles next to us shaking his head no, but I can't help but snort a laugh while me and Hans are next to him with two of the horses on a stick to pretend to ride with black marker on our face for a mustache guarding him. He clearly hates us but there is a small smile on his face, eyes looking in my direction with the biggest smile. There is no big gray fuzzy rug in the living room that me and Hans struggled four blocks to carry down the road cause we just had to have it. No Sunday morning breakfast with Slam Dunk that I put on for him, no Yoongi. No this is home, but home is where he is. So what is this?

It's my own little cave? I asked for this, excluded from everyone I know. I started work yesterday and the team at this branch is insanely nice. It's in a huge gray skyscraper rather than in the building that's closely connected to the courts in our town. I miss my banana milk buddy. He has reached out a few times already asking if I was the one having the food delivery service send him banana milk right at nine in the morning when I would have been walking in with a note that says “Behave Mr. Doodles.” with a small smiley face. At this point the clerks must think I’m insane for asking to buy a pack of sticky notes and pen with it each time, and write it on the delivery note “keep the rest after writing the note thank you!” with a good size tip of course. He's worth it and more. The friendship I have with Jungkook, my own picasso better known as ‘Mr. Doodles’.

Laying in bed tonight listening to a playlist that takes me back to all the moments I have with everyone in my life. How did I get to this point? I have no idea sometimes. I made through some of the toughest criticism as a child with the media, being disowned by everyone in our town. It's been exactly three years since I’ve seen my father and the one time I did it was not by choice. He was getting a visit from my godfather, Uncle Theodore, Theo for short. He was not blood but he might as well have been even if he was not in our daily lives anymore once dad was convicted, I would always notice him in the shadows of whatever major life event I had with a camera.

This time as I walked into the jail with my mentor Mr. Anderson for an interview with a client of his that was in trial for spousal abuse, which made my stomach turn. I saw my dad with the scruff of his beard with gray patches coming in, he looked drained and tired as he sat across the table with his head looking down at the tattoo he had of my name with a violet flower. The moment my heels hit the floor he looked up as he was taking in the new added person to the small visiting room, our eyes locked his gray eyes wide, as a full moon, lips parting whispering to Theo. He turned his back and smiled at me. Theo my big bear, my protector in the shadows that didn't know my daily battles at home anymore with mom and the lowlifes.

My breath hitches as my dad smiles at me. I haven't seen his smile in so long, a real one, not just the one he gave me when he found out I had to change my last name due to the courts looking at me a different way if they knew. I no longer look like the little girl in the tabloids behind my dad in the courtroom trying to reach for him behind the fence. “I know Lettie, no matter where you go I’m in here.” he points to his heart with a sad smile. He told me he didn't want to see me until I had a degree and he would see it in action by hearing about it from other inmates. So here I was in front of the most loving men in my life before I had my degree. My steps slow down as I face the client, but I feel his eyes on me, my father. “Hello Mr. Perez, I brought my apprentice with me, I hope that's okay.” he just nods as we take our seats with the never relenting eyes on us. In college the choices I had on people to be under were slim and not everyone shared the same beliefs as me, the drive I had to help wrongly convicted ‘criminals’.

Mr. Anderson did not share the same beliefs as me, let alone wanted this man in front of me spewing his mouth off how she deserved it. “She got in the way! Come on, you know how you women can be right? Always in the way, needy as hell and we men can never do enough.” he pointed his thumb at me like he is going to get me to side with him. Anderson just looks at me motioning his head to go along with the client as we are there to make them feel heard. I chew on my bottom lip not knowing what to say, my habit that I have broken through my poker face I have at work and I think I know just the reason. He has gray eyes, with a defined jaw, the gray patches coming through his beard, and hugs that feel like home.

When Anderson nudges my arm to sympathize with Mr. Perez I hear the voice that sang itsy bitsy spider with me in the rain, but this time it's not full of love and warmth. It's full of hatred, bitterness. “Perez!” his voice booming with power, authority. “You that's not how to talk to your council let alone a woman! You’re either gonna show her respect or wait till we're back to the cell block, maybe I won't beat your ass. Apologize, she’s helping your sorry ass of women abuser and know I already put you in your place on night one here.” Perez bites on his lips looking back and forth between him and I not knowing whether to push limits or not. “Watch it, Fields! before I send you back!” a guy points at my father, he just shrugs. “He needs respect.” I can see Theo trying to whisper yelling at him to get his shit in line but he isn’t giving it up glaring at Perez.

Muttering under his breath, "Fine I’m sorry.” he looks at me and I can see the fear behind his eyes. What name has my father made of himself here, was it just to survive on the inside? You gotta be the one to stand up for yourself here make it known the younger guys cant fuck you. I know that there are hierarchies in prisons set by the prisoners. “Louder!” he growls out. “I’m so sorry miss Uh?” He looks down at my visitor pass sticker. “Miss. Meadows.” and when he says my new last name I suck in a breath the only people who actually use it are professors and colleagues. I chose it because it still was like my previous last name to keep me connected to my father and when I told him the name in a letter he wrote back one sentence that time.

“Violet Rose Meadows, the strongest flower in the fields.”

He always used deeper meaning in his words. The strongest one in our family, the mitochondria of the family. It rips at my heart knowing I’m in front of my father with someone using the new last name I chose to cover up my past, to move forward for him. I stutter out “Uh, I- It's okay.” he nods his head understanding. Anderson gets down to business talking about his strategy for the case and I’m in a daze nodding my head taking notes of what not to do. Working with someone with different beliefs has been kind of helpful, because now I see how they will use the case against a client who is wrongly accused. My clients I plan to represent.

The entire meeting was strange. Not only the two pairs of eyes on me that I’m sitting with but two others from another table. At one point a guard tried to tell my father his time was up and he told them he didn't get visitors often. Just ten more minutes he can take his visits for the rest of the month. The guard let out a sigh and walked away. He walked over to our table and looked at Anderson's client cause I sure as hell was not going to speak a word for this man in court. “Perez ten minutes.” he nodded his head and we wrapped up the conversation saying we will be back next week for one more meeting before court.

All other meetings will be over the phone from the prison video call service. One I didn't have the option to use because it was in the cell block and they would see me on the screen if I did, this whole alias I have would be long gone. At times it felt worth it to just set a call up with my father, but would he even accept it? Maybe a phone call, maybe I know he wouldn't risk people in his cell block seeing me on the screen even from a distance. As I stand up the guard comes over to Perez first to start getting chained up to go back to his cell as the guard is finishing. I mustered up the courage to ask “Excuse me?” Anderson just looks at me putting his notepad in his back. “May I have a word with Mr. Fields?” I whisper he looks over to my father looking at us. I can tell he is trying to have a super power of enhanced hearing but he can't. He gives one nod “Not long I already extended his.” Gulp down as much oxygen I’m able to get in my lungs and think how this will go, turning my entire body the first step of my heel clicks loud and clear through the white brick room.

My fathers eyes widen, so does Theo’s, If this one of the only time I’ll see for god knows how long I’m taking my shot. A smile displays on my face. I can feel my lips turn up. “Mr. Fields, thank you for that as you can see not everyone is nice to people like me. I greatly appreciate it and I’m sure all the women in your life are lucky.” I hold my hand out for him to shake and he blick up at me and I see the tears held behind his glassy eyes. “Violet meadows” his voice comes off airy full of adoration. “I have heard about you making your name known in the field not even graduated, I’m certain your father is proud of you.” I breathe out trying to contain myself and when I let the shaky breath out I feel his pointer finger tap on my hand five times. It's a blow to my heart cracking all the barricades I have set up as time stops around us.

“My flower, I love you.” every word enunciated by tap.

I tap back four times “I love you more.” He always said I couldnt have more than four taps because he loves me more than I would ever know. As I pull my hand away we can't just hold hands in this setting it feels I’m letting go of my entire existence. “Thank you, I needed that as I’m in this by myself with a group in my court with only three people. My friend Hannah, and her other brother Yoongi. And uh- my Dad but he is away." I give him a small smile. I hope he can hear the message I’m trying to give him, the things I wish I could say.

Mom is no longer in the picture she kicked me out, I’m all myself. The men were awful to me Dad. I'm forever a used piece of trash trying to make it in the world all damaged. Why can't you fight to get out, why did you give up? Why did you give up on me?

“I’m sure they are all so proud to see the name you have made for yourself. Some of the men in the block have told all of us about the crazy strong willed women Miss. Meadows getting them their rights.” His smile says countless words to me and in this moment I know that I’m doing the right thing. “Fields, time for rec. Wrists.” he clanks the cuffs and as he lifts his hands I catch it “It was nice meeting you Mr. Fields, good luck in there, be the strongest flower in the field. My father always told me that.” I tap four times as I say it and I let go of his hand and turn away, no longer able to look at him for another moment to be chained up. When I step out of the prison I know exactly where I’m going to the aquarium where I know I’ll find a person in my court. Min Yoongi.

Tonight seems extra lonely In this cold apartment, ten days and I’m not even one percent into this year of trying to reinvent myself. Trust me, I know I have a countdown. I sigh and fling the covers off myself and walk to the balcony door attached to my apartment grabbing a fuzzy blanket off the not so comfortable couch. This town is different. As I look over the railing I see multiple cars on the highway even in the middle of the night even some bikes and that takes me to a place I wanna be lost in my very own biker boy.

The past ten days have felt like time has stopped and I’m still with Yoongi in the middle of a corporate work send off party with his arms wrapped around my waist showing me I’m worth everything and more. I can still feel his calloused thumb on my cheek soothing me as I cried in the middle of the party because I knew what was going to happen. We were going to part ways at the end of the night but I was going to live in the moment with him for once. For fucking once i wasnt the little girl who went along with everything the people around wanted. To please them.

The morning of the company party Yoongi woke up before me and ordered french toast from the place we still are trying to get the recipe right. Part of me hopes we never get it right so the tradition doesn’t end. We sat in my bed. He pulled me between his legs and wrapped his arms around me, putting in his ‘pocket’ turning on ‘Fruits Basket’ for the last time for the foreseeable future. As I ate he rubbed circles on my upper thigh while munching away and he took some mouthfuls of french toast from my fork. He said he wasn’t too hungry and that he could get full by just watching me eat. I of course made him eat some.

He told me before we fell asleep wrapped like we were to pieces to a puzzle glued together that he needed to go home a while in the morning while finished but the last of my packing, also he wanted to give me some time to get ready by myself he wanted the shock factor of our do over prom as he is calling it. The way Hans and I walk into the living room the night of our prom yelling at them if they said anything we would do harm to them. We were young and stupid we had nothing to be upset about looking back on it but we were just like every other teen with the world on our shoulders trying to let loose for one night.

When he left I had everything packed and ready to go. The man made sure I had everything I needed and some extra tightly packing it up so I could fit it all in Taehyung’s car. I think he needed a breather for everything going on between us. I don't blame him, feelings were stirring, blurring reality in my little apartment. Taehyung called to confirm everything for tonight, that he would pack everything up in his car while I’m at the party and would wait for me. We would start the overnight drive to get there to get as much settled before I started work and therapy. “Tae you sure about driving me? I really can pay someone.” I can hear his deep rumble of a laugh through the speaker “You forget all the time. Vi, I promised I would be here for you through everything. When you needed me no the time of day whether we were fighting or even with other people. I will drop everything for you.”

In turn I accepted knowing where we both stand because I said the same to him and my offer still stands even though he has never called saying he needed me. As much as I know his almost daily calls are his showing of need. I will never miss one,I promise Tae.

Getting ready I had Hans on video call. She was in her bed telling me about her newest conquest on a wedding dress for some famous designer. “She wants a dress that is all mesh! Mesh! Vivi what the fuck does she want her family to see her nude!? Oh god she has brothers. Remind me if I ever. I mean ever see Yoongi naked to bury eight feet under. No! twenty that should be enough dirt to collapse my head.” I just laugh at her and she is staring at me like I hold her entire world in my appearance. “Vivi you’re gonna make me cry. Thats it my brother doesnt deserve you I’m coming and we're running off together to live in a small town. I’ll make mittens and you know how stupid I think those are. You can even use your fingers!” she sniffles.

When I finally get her off the ledge of throwing away her career that we can not run away from, she accepts that Yoongi is the next best for me, but of course she is first. “Fine but if he does anything wrong I’ll chop his balls off!” We laugh saying bye to each other when I hear a knock on the door. He sure as hell knows he can just come in but chooses to knock almost every time. “Yoon no judging.” as I open the door he is standing in the same all black suit a fucking suit! The one his mom made him wear for his prom even though he didn't even go he just rode around town that night Hans and I saw him as we went out for ice cream.

“Y-You said no s-suit” point at him wide eyes glued on the man I have been failing to keep myself away from for years. He shrugs, taking a step forward into my own personal bubble. “And I thought we said a do over.” He looks me up and down, reaches forward, pressing his hand to my cheek rubbing his thumb up and down “This isn’t just a do over anymore, we are in the middle of our story. I don't want to erase any of it, or fill it with something new cause this is a story I never want to delete any words as little as they maybe. “Now give me my fix Vi, I’m holding on by a thread.”

When I tip my head up his eyes so much raw emotion for me under his eyes are puffy little from crying, knowing him all too well. Our lips meet and as they do neither of can close our eyes too busy trapped in our own orbs pulling us into deeper emotions. When we finally cave and our eyes shut he pulls me close by my hips, fingers digging in the fabric of my dress trying to get as close he can through the material. He whispers on my lips “God you’re beautiful.” his teeth scrape along my lip as he pulls away taking a step back, shutting the door with his foot. I look down and see he is still in his combat boots. That's my man. No he isn’t yours, you’re about to leave how can he be yours.

“I-I just need to put on my heels and we can go.” I take a step around the boxes in the entryway and notice my helmet is gone. How haven’t I noticed? “Yoon?” he hums in response “Where is my helmet?” He steps behind me. I hear his loud steps as he rounds me. “Well I took it Vi, if you decide you wanna take this off and go on one more ride we can. My bike is parked at the company. Along with your geer in my backpack.” he thinks of everything he never does not notice the small things, how last night I got sad looking at the table with both our helmets. I turn around and he is only a few inches from me and quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek “Thank you my King.” He holds my wrist and blinks. “I’m no king Violet, you are the queen in my life. I’m the peasant that will forever be striving to be enough for everything you need in your kingdom. Please call me as such cause I’m a fool for you.” I lift my hand knowing not to fight with him, he needs this as much as I do. Maybe we are both just fools for each other.

“My peasant you are the most worthy to be in this kingdom, you have full reign over it.” giving his cheek a rub like he does to me and taking one step away from him, letting his hand fall off my wrist as I go to get my shoes. I walk into the bedroom that is my own escape, making it this way is a love hate relationship cause tonight I rather just be in our little bubble in my room. Yoongi follows me to the bedroom, I’m on the bed putting on my heels and as I strap the last one and stand up, walking to my stand up mirror to look at myself one more time.

Smoothing out my dress far too many times needed, Hearing Yoongi russell with his backpack behind me i laugh at him cause he has way too many pockets on the damn thing. “Where is it?” he mutters under his breath, pretending like I don't hear him struggling for the life of him. All the zippers jingle as he is searching in every little pocket. “Thank fuck.” he whispers to himself. His backpack drops to the ground “Vi, I-I have something for you.”

I turn looking at him, he is fidgeting with the small little black box that has a purple ribbon on it. “Oh yeah?” I give him a smile hoping it will comfort him. He takes a step toward me meeting in front of the mirror. “Yeah I hope you love it.” he handed me the small box, I heard the metal scrape of his tongue across his teeth waiting for me to open it. When I open it it takes my breath away. It's the small square necklace with a tiny key next to it from the jewelry store, but on the tiny square it looks like he got it engraved with the letter ‘Y’.

I sniffled and he got closer “You don't like it right? I’m being too forward. Ah fuck I knew I shouldnt have put my initials on it. Give it to me back.” he holds his hand out to grab it from me. I pull it back from him and rub my thumb over the top of the lock feeling the engraving of his initial on it. “I-I love it! Yoongi, you can't take it from me. Now you’ll be wherever I go.” taking it out the box I see the chain and it is unclasped because the key locks it together.

“Violet I will forever be wherever you go there is no getting rid of me because you made a home in my mind, you’re filled in made it home even with those fucking stars, fuzzy blankets, and embarrassing childhood photos.” and that makes me lose it, he tilts my head up locking eyes on me making me feel a million words. He unbuttons the top of his white button up and pulls out the same chain but with the letter ‘V’.

“You own me Violet Rose Fields.” Choking down a sob. I know this is where things change. We have been changing the path for weeks and there is no turning back now. “Please Yoon lock me up. I’m yours.” holding the chain out to him. He nods his head taking the chain from me and walks behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders to position me looking at the mirror. What is up with him and mirrors? Running the tips of his fingers over my collarbone as he wraps his arms around me reaching for the small little key in the box turning it over. It also is engraved with the word “Hers” and it makes my brows crease looking at him through the mirror. “This key Violet is mine you have the power to take it away and when you do then I know you no longer want me. It says ‘Hers’ cause no matter what I will be forever yours.” he places it back in the box, shutting it, taking it from my hand and shoving it into his pocket exchanging it with another small key.

He holds his hand palm up with the key that I assume belongs to mine. When I see what is engraved on mine it catches my breath. There is a small pineapple. “Pineapple?” He laughs deeply but not for long until he grabs my shoulders and spins me around. “Pineapple.” He has a subtle smile on his lips and he scrapes his tongue rings once he breathes out.

“Pineapple for the way you’re sweet but also tangy that packs a punch to me every time I see you because of just how stunning you are.” he breathes in pulling me in closer, looking down at me, and on my waist. “Pineapple for the prickly outside shell to make it resistant to weather conditions to survive. You are the most resilient person I know. You’re so much stronger than you know Violet Rose. So please when I lock yours up, you can do whatever you want with the key but with mine I want you to unlock it and put your key on it. I want to be able to see it whenever you’re not near and feel the engraving reminds me to be stronger not just for you, but for myself.”

He places it in my hand grabbing the necklace from my hand wrapping it around my neck feeding the chain into the little box. “Key, baby.” he says under his breath. I lift the key to him he locks, before his hand leaves he bends down and places a kiss on the little square. “I’m always with you” He reaches Into his pocket and gets the key to unlock his placing it in my hand. My hands are shaking, unable to fully understand everything that is happening, but our little dynamic has been changing for a while now. “Just like this?” trying to unlock his. “Just like that baby.” he nods reaffirming this is what he wants.

When I get it unlocked, I hold a hand out for him to hand me the key that belongs to mine, Sliding it on, feeding the chain in the little square and locking it to his neck. He lets out a sigh of relief once it is locked on him. He lifts his hand, running his fingers over the key. “I’m right here, let me give you strength.” reach up pulling his hand down from his neck locking our lips diving deep into each other, to the unknown.

I feel his fingers on my lower back and I feel five taps sinking me more, into the deepest depths of Min Yoongi. I wonder if he remembers what five taps mean. I told him long ago about my dads code if we ever ran into each other in the legal aspect of it all, but it was only briefly. Now is not the time to bring up my father, this is about us. His lips are smoother than normal, maybe it's cause he has been getting his dose of chapstick but from me, but from my lips.

“I will always be yours.” he mumbles on my lips as he pulls away. There is the brightest smile radiating off both of us. “Lets go baby, You deserve the best night of your life. I got a lot to make up for.” he places the other key in my hand and winks walking away to the living room to leave.

I wrap the blanket tight around me trying to stop reliving the best and worst night of my life. The only bad part of the night was knowing we were delaying the inevitable. The goodbye for an undetermined amount of time. Another bike speeds by our building and that's all it takes for me to reach into my sweatpants, his sweatpants for my phone.

Me: I need you.

Three little dots pop up right away and stop again and start one more time but this time my phone vibrates in my hand showing me just what I needed.

Yoon: You’re so strong, my love. I love you. Say the three little words and I’ll be on my bike in less than 5. You know them.

The three little words are not “I love you” like most would think, they are “Come to me.” and I know he would be as fast as he could without taking any consideration for his well being, because if I’m unwell he is also. The same goes for him. If he needs me, those three little words I’ll drop everything hell I could be in a courtroom and I’d still drop it all for him. He is my escape from everything. Ten days. Ten days without the person I love the most in the world. Min Yoongi. Only three hundred and fifty five days left. I need to be strong for myself but also for him.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

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