#bsd just means a lot to me i guess!

[chuuyas-nakahara]

i need to talk about oda’s conversation with dazai while oda is dying and how oddly comforting it is to hear as someone who struggles with mental illness

first it’s the radical acceptance of oda telling dazai no, you’re not going to find something to fill the void of loneliness in your life. you’re not going to find something that magically makes you want to live and the darkness you’ve grown so accustomed to is always going to be there. because this is the reality for so many mentally ill people: we do not get cured overnight, we never fully heal but instead find better ways to cope and to manage, since the majority of mental illnesses and disorders are lifelong struggles.

but it’s the next thing oda says to dazai that really kind of hits - when dazai asks what he’s supposed to do and oda tells him to be good anyways. to try to make his life more beautiful regardless. that even though dazai may never find a reason to live, it doesn’t mean he has to spend whatever time he does have left living completely in the dark

i think a lot of media out there tries to portray mental illness as something that needs to be cured or as something that will disappear with a strong enough will, or after a set amount of time. what i love so much about bsd is that it treats these characters that are suicidal, or dealing with the repercussions of abuse and trauma, not as fragile characters with issues that need to be resolved but simply as humans who are trying their best despite what they’ve been through.

it’s a very refreshing take on those sorts of themes to say no, not everything is going to be okay 100% of the time and you might always struggle to find happiness. but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to make your life a little more beautiful anyways, whatever that means to you

[kyouka-supremacy]

Not to say one can't consume media they don't 100% agree with (I do the same so like), but you talk a lot about how the core views of TPN vs BSD change your entire way of enjoying these two, and I was wondering what drew you in into BSD if there are so many aspects of it you disagree with?

(Not meant as an attack or as a questioning of you enjoying it, I always am interested in your analysis so this is just out of curiosity, and also I am planning to pick up TPN again sometime this year)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

honestly, episodes like this that are so stellar in almost every way just make it all the more frustrating when bones fucks up so bad other times. Like the quality of season 4 has probably been the most consistently good the anime has been since season 2, and yet the entire series still on average just reeks of tonal issues, pacing issues, wonky expressions that don’t do Harukawa’s art justice, cutting of crucial scenes or internal dialogue, and straight-up just completely missing the point and nuances of so many moments in the manga/light novels.

BSD has always been dark and gritty to an extent, but the anime has always been too “fluffy” (for lack of a better word, or I guess shounen-y) to truly understand and capture that, and it’s so frustrating when episodes like this one and Mushitarou’s episodes clearly DID have a lot of love and understanding and attention to detail put into them. Even the Dark Era episodes, which is my favorite and what I consider to be the best story content in the entire franchise, are imo honestly outclassed by the aforementioned episodes purely in terms of adaptation. But then episode 6 this season was incredibly rushed, and Dazai’s arrest scene completely butchered (and Nikolai’s bird speech, to an extent). Atsushi hallucinating Dazai in episode 8 was mediocre as well. Kunikida always has his core character moments shafted. Dazai is never allowed to be vulnerable or “uncool”. Season 3 had “Portrait of a Father” aka arguably one of the most important and most powerful chapters in the entire manga up there with Yosano’s backstory chapters, and yet it’s absolutely the most pathetic, hollow shell of an “adaptation” I’ve ever seen in my life and yes I WILL forever be salty about it.

But then they pull an episode like this out of their asses, where they actually tried. It’s so frustrating. </3

[chuulyssa]

🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ ！

BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.

↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck

★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor

!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff

"i love you."

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.

promptly replies with, "i love you too."

he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking

when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin

and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before

he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too

definitely asks for double suicide later

"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."

"Mhm."

"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.

"Dazai, you already said yes."

"I'll say it again!"

​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.

he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine

poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"

he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside

we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it

will decide to give it a shot tho

100% calls dazai to brag about it

"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"

You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.

"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."

ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.

"i know."

he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc

he's known about this since like soooo long

he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess

went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D

eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie

"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"

He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"

ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.

"eh???"

like chuuya, he's pretty confused too

"are you sure?"

tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster

he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up

also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?

reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world

"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.

"I'll try my best."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to!"

He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.

"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."

ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.

screams

"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"

jumps around everywhere in happiness

you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around

either that or he just faints

he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.

you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3

"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.

"Yes?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"

ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.

no reaction. im sorry

spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work

you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????

will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??

he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work

and that's his way of saying yes

He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.

"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."

"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"

"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.

© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.

[thepenguinweeb]

`` Just close your pretty little eyes and you won't feel a thing. ``

[ ☆ Yandere!Fyodor x ADA!reader ]

[ ☆ In the wild chase the search for Fyodor Dostoevsky proved to be, you get separated from your partners and end up face to face with the man himself. Even though his face is new for you, unbeknownst to you, he'd made himself quite familiar with yours. ]

You ran trough the halls, ready to fight at any given moment. You thought you managed to sneak into the supposed base very well - Fyodor could sense that as he watched you trough his screens.

He'd been doing that for some time. He had cameras watching everywhere you went, so he could spend every waking moment with you. He knew everything about you at this point, and he planned to use all that knowledge.

And now he watched as you, Atsushi and Akutagawa got separated. It was all part of his plan, of course. He decided he wanted to see you in person as soon as possible, and while he originally didn't want to come to this place himself, he did it for you.

Trough small, almost unnoticable signs he guided you ever-so-closely to the room he currently occupied.

Then, he heard the door open.

Cautiously, you took a few steps inside. It didn't take long before you felt an arm circle around your neck.

"Atsu-!!" You tried to call out to your friend before you were silenced by a hand covering your mouth.

"Shh..." Fyodor whispered into your ear. "It won't hurt. Just close your pretty little eyes, and you won't feel a thing."

When you gained conciousness again, you found yourself in an unknown room. It was decorated quite fancily, and the lighting made it seem cozy enough - or, it would've, if you didn't feel something tie you down to a chair.

"Ah.. you're awake, моя любовь."

You turned your head to see a man who you presumed to be Fyodor, based on his russian accent and words. He was cutting up apple slices with an eerily calm grin, considering he had someone tied up in his room.

"Let me go," you demanded, skipping the questions and getting straight to the point. You guessed he probably wouldn't want to answer.

He looked at you with an almost surprised expression - though, his eyes were a labyrinth of emptiness, giving away none of his feelings.

"Let you go?" He repeated. "Nobody is stopping you from leaving. Though.." his voice lowered, which sent you shivers down your spine. "You should be aware of the consequences."

Your eyes widened as you tried to understand. What could these consequences be? But, as if sensing your confusion, Fyodor went on.

"That Atsushi boy," he said. "He means quite a lot to you, yes? That bracelet on your right hand is from him, hm?"

You were shocked at how spot on he was. But how could he know so much, when you've only just met him? It didn't make sense!

"Well, whatever the case," he continued on as you didn't reply and glanced at you while holding the knife close to him. "I imagine you would be quite angry if something were to happen to him."

"What did you do to him?"

Fyodor let out a chuckle at how protective you sounded. "Nothing. Not yet."

You were about to retort when things clicked in your mind. He was using Atsushi to get you to stay with him.. what a sicko.

He put down the knife and walked towards you, an apple in one hand. He stopped in front of you and leaned down to cup your cheek in his free hand.

"So," he continued with a grin. "I would suggest you stay with me, if you worry about that boy's safety."

Not knowing what else to do, you nodded in compliance. He held out the apple for you, but given your hands were tied, you took a bite without them.

"Oh, look at you," he whispered. Soon, your vision had started to get blurrier and blurrier, until your head slumped down and you fell unconcious once more.

"Rest now, little detective," he said, planting a kiss on your head. "It seems I was able to catch you first."

A/N: Fyodor woohoo!! Sorry for all the bsd content yall but it's literally my fav anime. I love this man, he's so cool, and he'd be such a creepy and terrifying yandere.

Dividers by @/rookthornesartistry, ty!!

[rashoumon-homo]

How useful would their Ability be in bed? (BSD)

Author’s Note: I’m back with another headcanons list! I was thinking about this in relation to bnha characters while falling asleep the other night and it got me thinking about bsd as well.

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD - PROCEED WITH CAUTION

(Organized from most to least useful)

Nikolai

► especially interesting for masturbation

► but also lots of possibilities for partnered/group sex

► just think: any body part, any location. It’s like extreme contortionism

► I actually wrote a fic where he uses his ability to eat out Fyodor while being able to watch his expression

Chuuya

► anti-gravity sex????

► imagine having sex in the air

► imagine him using his ability to use toys on you hands-free

► or subtly using his ability to fuck you with just the right amount of force

► also thinking of this art (NSFW at link!)

Akutagawa

► two words. rashoumon. bondage.

► best ability ever for bondage stuff

Atsushi

► primal-kink-havers rejoice!

► 100% his dick gets bigger when he half-transforms during sex

Poe

► can create a novel to have any kind of location

► there are a lot of possibilities for his ability tbh

Kunikida

► I guess he could make stuff?

► it feels more wasteful than just idk buying toys and stuff ahead of time

► overall not super useful

Tachihara

► I could see it being useful if you have like metal toys or something

► but I don’t really see a lot of ways he could use his ability in bed tbh

Tanizaki

► basically like Poe’s ability but it’s an illusion

► he can make you see anything

► but there’s not a lot of reason to do that, especially since he can’t make anything solid

Dazai

► unless you have an ability that would benefit from being neutralized, his power is pointless in bed

Sigma

► information exchange… during sex?

► genuinely can’t see how this would work out

Yosano

► maybe if you’re like an EXTREME masochist

► taking “la petite mort” to a literal level lmao

► but otherwise not useful

Fyodor

► actively unhelpful

► I think if his power activates during sex, you have bigger problems than how pleasurable it is

Ranpo

► no ability, so I’m not counting him

► though his super deduction would mean it’s impossible to surprise him so that sucks

Masterlist

Tag list: @suru1990 @little-miss-chaoss

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[note-boom]

I have been flattered into trying to gather my own scattered thoughts, but firstly I just have to say this is SO well put?? They absolutely do have this sort of back and forth kind of parallel, don't they? An adult who tries his best to live up to his ideals and almost gets crushed to pulp when they seem to fail him versus a kid who tries her best to live up to someone else's ideals and kind of comes from them already having failed and almost crushed her.

I also love your points about the two helping each other, how perhaps they seen in the other a sort of....failure(?) or disappointment but learn that even though they find the other annoying, it doesn't make them less admirable (funny enough, I think Aya learned that faster than Kunikida, who hasn't really learned it yet xD).

I guess my points have more to do with....hmmm...Kunikida and Aya's father a sort of parallel with Dazai and Fyodor, to put it one way.

Please correct me if I'm misremembering but Kunikida seems all too aware of how people can fail his ideals (the poor man's partner is Dazai, I mean). So instead of imposing his ideals on others, he imposes them on himself and yet still values the lives of the people around him. Kinda like how Dazai values the humanness - even if they're technically less brainy than he is - of others even though he feels like he can never really mesh with them.

On the flip side, you have Aya's father, who imposes his ideals on other people (Aya and her sister and probably their mother) and kind of looks down on them when they fail to match his standards. Like Fyodor and his god-complex feeling he's above everyone else.

And then we have Aya who is stuck literally right in between them. Someone who is a victim of someone else's ideals. Which is to say she's just like Kunikida because he's a victim of his own ideals, but she's also kind of a victim of someone whom Kunikida could be (I think I saw something saying Entrance Exam showed how dangerously similar Blue Apostle and Kuni were, and my anime recollection says the same). So I don't know...I think like you said they could help each other so much. Aya realising that MAYBE ideals aren't so bad after all and Kunikida realising perhaps realising that he and Aya are both victim to ideals (even though the context is drastically different, I will say. And I don't think Kunikida will ever give up on his ideals...but between Dazai, Aya, and the way everything's kinda crushing him in the current arc, a perspective shift to lighten his load would be cool to see).

Also, final random point without transition. I absolutely love Aya's lines about a living person being unable to match the perfection of the dead because it reminded me of Dazai and Odasaku, just a bit...

Wait. Wait.

Aya's father is all about an ideal woman and creating the ideal female.

Kunikida has an ideal woman in mind.

I have THOUGHTS about this. Hang on. Hold on. Wait -

[invidiia]

oh my god the yan!dazai x willing reader fic😭 i love reading this type of content (its a trauma response but the idea of someone obsessing over me brings me comfort </3)

Can you write something more for yan!dazai and reader? Like dazai somehow forgets his keys at home giving reader full access to run away/call for help, but when he comes back running to his apartment worried he sees them cooking something for him and what surprises him the most is the fact that he didn’t have most of the ingredients which means that they went outside to buy them and actually came back <3

❐ - yandere osamu dazai (bsd) with a reader who to left the house to make dinner.

note ; HII thank you for requesting!! and the beginning of the request really made me think, and i realized you were completely right and i relate deeply !! on another topic besides the request, i feel bad about writing ever since character ai came about, because what's the point of writing fics and hcs for people who can just make everything they want happen with ai?! but i'll continue, of course!! alsoo ada dazai

prompt ; dazai's beloved cooks for him after he left for the store.

warning ; kidnapping, possibly soft!yandere dazai AT FIRST, mentioned suicide (it's dazai)

masterlist - rules - previous work

when dazai finally trusts you enough to be by yourself while he went out to run errands, it was like you felt relief for the first time in years. maybe it was.

he didn't specify what he was doing, but he did seem like he would be out for a long time. but for whatever reason in the world, you didn't exactly plan to fully escape from him. maybe you were on something, because anybody else would have went as far as they could.

dazai kissed the top of your top of your head affectionately. "my dear," he addressed to you, his voice sweet, just like every other time he spoke. "i have to run errands, okay? can you promise me that you'll be good while i'm gone?" dazai rested his head on top of yours, holding you closely to his chest in a tight hug. you nodded your head against him, and he smiled. "i'll be off now, my love." and with that, dazai walked out the door, completely forgetting his keys on the table.

maybe you were drugged, high or some kind of intoxicated, because anyone would be overjoyed to see that their kidnapper left their keys with them, and they'd try to leave! i mean, dazai was normally cautious - how stupid of him this evening.

but for just some reason, any reason in the world, you didn't leave the house for freedom. instead it was for.. groceries? dazai did feed you often, but it was usually food from a local place that he liked a lot more than cooking, hence the reason there were barely any ingredients to make dinner with.

maybe you were doing this to gain trust and then turn your back on him later? well, it was too late, dazai left the keys here, and you were free to escape. so the first place you decided to go? the grocery store.

walking through the produce isle, you turned your head anxiously, looking behind your back to see if dazai found out you left and followed you. but no one was there, not at all. you were safe.

you gathered up money from inside your pockets when the man first took you - enough to buy a couple vegetables, a bag of rice, and a bit of chicken. that was enough for tonight!

upon your return to the apartment, nobody was there, so you got to work, having not been caught by dazai on your little outing to the store.

it was pretty easy to make fried rice. you found yourself in the kitchen chopping vegetables to put into the frying pan while you seasoned the chicken. dazai didn't have a ton of seasoning in his cabinets.. guess this guy liked his stuff plain? but you worked with what you had, and you were able to make a pretty damn good plate of chicken fried rice. the meal was perfect, and you had just finished when the door opened up. it was dazai. the brunette man opened up the door rather quickly, slipping inside the apartment. "belladonna.. this smells amazing!"

dazai was quick to praise your cooking, even telling you that he didn't want to eat your masterpiece in hopes of ruining it, but you told him to sit down and just eat it.

and that he did, and he loved it! he didn't act like anything was wrong, it went perfect! he praised your cooking skills the entire time while he ate.

even you forgot that you snuck out to retrieve your ingredients!

"belladonna," dazai spoke, sweetly. you were both nearing the end of the meal, with just two bites of the food left on the plate. "your cooking is absolutely perfect, you know that? i almost forgot that we didn't have any vegetables in the house." you tensed up. this was such a stupid idea, sneaking out to get ingredients for your meal. "i found those in the cabinet, you brought them home one night. don't you remember?" you lied nervously, biting up the inside of your mouth while you just silently begged he would believe you. "i would never think about willingly buying bell peppers unless i planned to cook such a meal. why would you leave the apartment, dear?" dazai slid his chair back, stepping towards you with his hands in his pockets. this was stupid, a stupid mistake that you can't undo. "no matter.. you didn't run away.. so what am i to do with you?" he grabbed a lock of your hair, pulling it upwards so you could face him. you cried out, whimpering in pain - but he paid no attention to it, looking you in the eye. "let's see."

[ma3mae]

No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

[ahli-stuff]

I know im just the silly guy who posts bsd ship spam. but, let me be real for two seconds. if you’re like me, then these characters have provided so much comfort during the hopeless and darkest times in your life. It’s easy to feel confused, lonely, and alienated navigating a world that seems to have put you outside of the invisible drawn in lines by society.

It is unmistakable that what has drawn a lot of us to these two characters (and by extension, their real life authors) is their isolation and suffering. It is so attractive to find that there is power in your pain when it is represented through fiction. It is a relief to be able to romanticize your own suffering.

Fyozai, to me, represented a couple who were a means to an end for a long time. I could not imagine myself happy, so I could not imagine the characters as happy. And then, when I read the novels associated with both authors, the authors also struck me as unhappy. With my cynicism affirmed, I felt comfortable believing that maybe the truth of the world was unhappiness.

But, it isn’t.

You have to stick around, you have to have hope, because hidden between the waves of the dark sea which affirms your despair at every moment, there will be no grand revelations or secret existential meanings but. There will be moments. Whether it is the morning air, clean sheets, a good song, a great video game, or a new favorite blorbo, there will be moments. They will not last, but they will come again, and again, and again.

I think Fyodor Dostoevsky and Osamu Dazai are often characters and authors that represent pillars of human misery. Because of that, their unhappiness, and subsequently our own unhappiness, is the most prominent thing we tend to analyze and indulge in.

But you have to remember, that Dostoevsky and Dazai, in the heart of their writing, desperately wanted to believe in love, redemption, and above all, happiness.

I guess my point is, see yourselves in the misery of these authors and characters. I wouldn’t deny you that. But this is a PSA: remember to see yourselves in their desire for happiness too.

“Tomorrow will probably be another day like today. Happiness will never come my way. I know that. But it's probably best to go to sleep believing that it will surely come, tomorrow it will come. I purposely made a loud thump as I fell into bed. Ah, that feels good. The futon was cool, just the right temperature against my back, and it was simply delightful. Sometimes happiness arrives one night too late. The thought occurred to me as I lay there. You wait and wait for happiness, and when finally you can't bear it any longer, you rush out of the house, only to hear later that a marvelous happiness arrived the following day at the home you had abandoned, and now it was too late. Sometimes happiness arrives one night too late.” — Osamu Dazai, Schoolgirl

[maislovebot]

Top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios: Saigiku Jouno

Here’s the Jouno chapter! This one’s one of my personal favorites I’ve made:)

Contains: afab reader, no pronouns, silly sub Jouno, reader switches between being mean and nice, mainly nice tho, 69, reader calls him ‘Sai’, kinda brat taming but not really, implied orgasm denial

You sighed at Jouno, showing visible disappointment. “You’re being awfully bratty.” Jouno moved his head toward the sound of your voice, and crossed his arms.

“Well I’m not that used to this. You’d normally be crying and begging by now.”

You shook your head, “well, you agreed to this. Any last minute thoughts?” Was he really just not the experimental type?

Jouno shook his head rather violently, “no, of course not. I’m just not used to this.”

“Don’t worry, we can go at your pace.” You comforted him.

At this moment in time, Jouno and you had decided to switch things up, typically, Jouno would be unlawfully mean to you in bed, but you were choosing to put him in his place. It honestly took a lot of convincing, but he seems strangely on board with the whole thing. Almost like he’s enjoying it more than you are.

It was honestly quite cute, seeing Jouno, the most intimidating member of the Hunting Dogs acting like some petty brat instead of a man who could honestly end anyone if he so pleased.

That still didn’t change the fact that his attitude was making things insanely difficult. He was borderline refusing everything, even though he knew he was going to be the one getting the most out of this in the end. You were originally planning on just pleasing him the entire time, but perhaps a change in pace is in order? Maybe that’ll get him to help him learn to stop being a brat.

You could tell he was nervous, you could tell he was scared to be in a vulnerable position, and you decided that above all else he should be comfortable.

“Here, Sai.” You said in a tone of voice that was much softer than before. You brought your forehead down to his, straddling him in the process.

“You can trust me. Do you think you can trust me?” You questioned, looking at him. You had noticed his hair was slightly disheveled, and you could tell his breathing was a little labored.

“Of course, this is just really new.”

“I know, and I want to help you get more comfortable. Do you have any requests? Maybe we could start out with something you’re more used to.”

Jouno nodded, and reached down to grab your hips, urging you to move yourself up.

“Ah.” You could tell what he was implying, and moved yourself up. You were already undressed from the waist down, only sitting in your shirt at this point, so you were already ready.

You chucked a little, and Jouno hummed in confusion.

“You know, I was considering doing this earlier to shut you up, but I guess you beat me to it.”

Jouno sighed playfully, and had finally pulled you up all the way, so you were now hovering above his face.

He would never confess to this, but he loved when you sat on his face more than anything, he struggled to put it into words, but he truly loved how you practically enveloped his senses, how he could taste you so miraculously, and smell your arousal just as much. It got him going. That’s why he picked this position to help him relax, he simply loved it so much. It could effortlessly get him to stop worrying.

He grabbed your thighs even tighter, his nails digging into them and brought you down to his awaiting mouth. He playfully brought his tongue out of his mouth, licking and kissing your outer lips, licking up your precum, denying any attention towards your clit. You knew what he was doing. He seemed to have forgotten that things were on your terms this time around, so you moved your hand back and gave a light slap to his inner thigh, making him wince a little.

“You should know better than that by now. Don’t forget who’s in char—ge h-here..” you were trying to sound like an enforcer, but you ended up losing your bite as Jouno finally gave a small kitten lick to your clit. It felt good. Really good. You ground into his face just a little, desperate for him to do it again, but he wouldn’t budge, and though you couldn’t see his face, knowing him, he was probably smiling with that cocky face of his. Not knowing what to do, you decided to give him something that would egg him on. You reached your hand out and teased the tip of his dick with your finger, spreading the precum that was there along his slit. He instantly bucked his hips up, crying out a little. Then, to get him to do what you wanted, you simply pulled away.

“Keep going and I’ll keep going too. Maybe I’ll even give you head.” He nodded as much as he could from under you, and licked your clit, before moving his lips around the bud and sucking on it.

You bucked your hips and attempted to regain your composure enough to speak, although it was difficult considering how wonderfully he was treating you.

“Good— ah— good job.”

Jouno kept vigorously sucking at your clit, and you decided to give him what he wanted. You jerked him off just a little bit more, moving your hand a little at a time. Still keeping him on edge. Wanting more. You were simultaneously grinding into his face, chasing your climax when he moved his fingers up to your hole and prodded at your entrance briefly before pushing two of his fingers inside, with that you jerked your hips a bit, and that was what made you decide to reward him.

You moved your face down towards his length, licking the tip before bringing your mouth around it, hollowing your cheeks. This made Jouno jump a little, and buck his hips again. You struggled to keep him in your mouth as he continued sucking on your clit, considering how badly you were trembling, but you managed.

He moved his lips and instead licked a stripe along your pussy before diving his tongue into your hole, making you jerk yourself down onto him. You ended up letting go of his cock for a split second, before remembering what you had promised and bringing yourself back down. In order to help more, you ran what you couldn’t take in your mouth with your hands, practically caressing him, which made him cry out and whine. As he kept eating you out like he was starved, you could feel a familiar warmth pooling in your lower stomach, giving a coil type of sensation.

“I—I’m clo—se..!” You tried to whine out, removing your mouth from him momentarily. Jouno hummed, implying he was close as well.

You licked along his tip just one more time, before he came undone, and trembled as a result. His cum was dripping down his own dick, with small amounts landing on your cheeks. You brought a hand up and moved it from your cheeks to your mouth, moving yourself back up, putting more weight on him again.

“You can do it.. come on..” you said, grinding yourself down on his face even more. You finally came all over his face, crying out just one last time, twitching a little. You looked up and saw Jouno bucking his hips again, and before you knew it he came yet again, and you laughed, lifting yourself off of his face.

“Did you really come again ?” Jouno moved his pointer finger over your lips as you laid down on top of him.

“ Don’t mention it. I was already sensitive, and, and..”

“ And what ?” You questioned.

Jouno shook his head.

“..and you cumming all over my face was super hot..”

You audibly laughed, and nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

“Are you ready now, Sai?” You questioned.

Jouno sighed, “I think so.”

“Well that’s not very convincing.” You teased.

“ Yes . I’m ready.”

You hopped off of him, and smiled. “Perfect!”

Jouno sat up and you straddled him.

“I think it’s pretty naughty that you came twice, yeah? So why don’t you let me tease you for a minute, till you learn your lesson?”

Jouno tensed. This was going to be a long, long night.

Wc - 1.3k

I’m not sure when the next chapter will be done, but I’m writing a minimum of 0.5k words a day so expect some Fyodor filth soon!

[bring-forth-your-justice]

Can i request an ADA x teen!reader ( platonic ofc ) where reader lives in a very toxic house w an abusive father but all the ADA member start to worrying abt them and think something is wrong bc they always come back with injuries and they finally decide to do something after that reader just broke down and they comfort them

:( i need some comfort so yea if its ok ofc u can skip it have a nice day ♡♡♡

Sorry this took some time anon, thank you for requesting, I wouldn't dare skip it. I hope you’re doing alright, you're never alone know that. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for ya.

TW// mentions of abuse, blood, child neglect

Word count: 2k

Just angst and sad weather. Hope its good for my first BSD fic.

A soft breeze filled with springs essence flowed gently into the quaint office placed atop the red bricked building. It wasn’t much to look at, not really, other than its red exterior taking the eyes attention for a split second, there wasn’t much else to it.

Unless one was aware of its top floored residence. Quite the loud bunch many would complain. Always someone shouting and screaming about tardiness, unsettling comments about severing limbs, and often other occupants would notice a trail of emptied snack bags leading to the office. Simply a place to stay away from.

Now that was what you called home. 

The hums of the crowded streets played out in a symphony in front of you, just another side walk to cross and you were home. Home .. If the word stayed on your tongue for too long it might lose it meaning, or worse, become sour in taste. 

That top floor, was home. It had only been maybe 8 months since you began working there as an assistant. The Armed Detective Agency, the name really says all there was to it. The work wasnt too difficult, after all, you were a hardworker and you’ve been working your whole life one way or another. The president had made some adjustiments to your workload considering you were still a high school student. Of course you adamantly expressed your capabilities, but underneath it all, you were relieved. 

The breeze grazed your face and ruffled your hair, adding more knots into it after you had done so much to ensure it looked perfect, like nothing had happened. You sighed with a hint of ire plaguing not just your voice but your eyes. Perhaps holding your tongue could have granted you another hour or two of sleep. Alas, thinking of such what if’s was something you slowly learned to block out. It was pointless to fantisize of what could be anyhow.

You continued to fix your hair as you walked up the stairs, soon reaching the gates to your heaven with the oh so familiar sign positioned at the door. You hesitated briefly even as the sign urged you to come in just as the Earth welcomed rain. Thoughts began to overwhelm you. Mornings were never easy. You weren’t a sunflower waiting to greet the sun as the sun showers you with blessings and you return its gift with a smile. It was always terrifying. He was terrifying.

No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, you would never be enough to satisfy his will. At times, that thought alone shot bolts of desperation throughout your body, like an injured animal finding some way to stop the bleeding. What were you so desperate for? Home. It’s right in front of you, so why can’t you accept it now?

‘I didn’t get enough time to cover some of the bruises, what if they-’

“Ah you made it L/N-chan!” 

You shot up slightly at the new sound that entered your bubble. Your gaze turned towards the young boy’s voice, noticing his ragged hair. ‘Always quite slanted, not a single strand the same,’ you mused. “Atsushi you startled me aha..” Although the chuckle may have been a bit strained, you were happy to know your voice wasn’t void of that hint of delight to see him. 

“A-ah! Sorry! I guess I’ve been sneaking up on a lot of people lately. The other day it was Lucy, I made her drop her dish in the cafe- I really did apologize but she was very close to throwing me from a bridge aha-” Atsushi had a tendency of causing trouble from simple, and often innocent, actions. It was always amusing to hear about from him, they’ve never failed to crack you out of your reclusive state. 

Atsushi’s eyes wandered briefly to a mismatched coloured blotch on your arm, one you tried to conceal under your sleeves. When you took notice of his gaze, you quickly shifted that arm out of view; watching his shy and gentle eyes become disturbed with remorse. That unconcealable wrapping on your leg wasn’t any better to look at you figured, and you were sorry he had to see it. It was only for a moment though. He seemed more at ease once you smiled back at him. 

“If she did push you, I’d call Kyoka-chan.” You continued back at where the conversation left off at. At that Atsushi shaked his hands, trying to prevent the fictional scenario. “N-No! Kyoka might end up doing more than dragging me out of the water-” You both laughed at the scenario at the underlying understanding of Kyoka’s protectivness of Atsushi’s well being.

As you both walked into the office together, a scent of candies and coffee lingered in the air and the bustling office welcomed your arrival. Your eyes lingered on Atsushi as he made his way over to his desk to get started on what you could only assume to be another stack of Dazai’s unfinished paperwork. ‘I should go and get him some coffee, he might need it to finish all that.’ Looking at that stack was alone to make you wince and move towards your own desk. 

You usually make your rounds to greet everyone, but today was a difficult day and you were more tired than usual. So you figured finishing your work early would be the best way to go about things. As you began, the usual shenanigans continued to buzz around the agency. Naomi chasing Tanizaki begging him to bother himself with her rather than his work, the murmurs of the president and his secretary disgusing financial documents in his office, Ranpo-san’s loud crunches as he muched on what could’ve been his 15th chip bag of the day, and to top it off, Kunikida’s excessive yelling. You may be a hardworker but in this case, you couldn’t hold a handle to Kunikida’s work ethic. He kept everyone on task, or so he tried. 

While he was on his daily rant about Dazai’s tardiness to anyone who would listen, you felt a dreadful turmoil brewing in your head.

That buzzing in your head was a little more than unsettling. And just as your hand went to go reach your head, there it was again, that word. 

“Home.”

Why was it coming to the forefront of your mind? Why couldn’t that thought be subdued? Why were you so unlucky that the only word that haunted you was the one you cherished just as much?

He. Your father. Just a shadow of what he could’ve- no, should’ve been. A shadow who gained sentience and refuses to let you breathe. 

Your ‘home’ was hell personified. Every move you took would inevitably burn your feet. So you took no steps at all. Yet even then the fire raged on and clung to you. 

And right now, that fire was engulfing your head. 

You could faintly see Dr.Yosano in the distance, making her way to you. You couldn’t quite make out her expression when you dropped to floor and the fire took your eyesight.

~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes sleep was the only solace you could get, so you tried to cherish it whenever you could. This time, there was something different about the black void of unconsciousness. A dull pain.

It lingered and poked you in the void. Slowly voices became more clear, and feeling returned to your hands. Still, those wonderful eyes of yours refused to leave the dark. 

A part of you couldn’t deny that you liked it that way, but that poking sensation wouldn’t let you dream. 

You never had time for it.

So your eyes opened, breaking through the fire, and into the blinding lights of the ceiling panels. 

~~~~~~~~

“You’re awake-!” There a pair of wide yellowish-purple eyes looked back at you, secured with a load of concern.

It was Atsushi, worried about you as always. You wished he’d worry about himself more. 

It didn’t quite hit you that you were on Dr. Yosano’s lap or the fact there were tears in your eyes, slowly streaming down your eyes. Not until Kyouka, who sat next to Atsushi wiped them gently. 

What happened to you? 

Your body must’ve been more aware than your mind as it expressed it’s emotions more freely than how your mouth could vocalize them. Slowly you sat up and noticed exactly what had caused you to lose consciousness.

“What happened… y/n?”

Blood loss.

Dr. Yosano looked at the open wounds on your legs, carefully unwrapping the loosely tied bandages around them. She was inspecting the wound just as she was inspecting your face. 

They all were looking at you. Kunikida with a glass of water held firmly in his hand. Kyouka who stayed quietly by Atsushi, looking at your wounds. Yosano who looked slightly unnerved at the blood yet continued to press on; cleaning the wound. Atsushi who looked at you as though he knew and didn’t at the same time. But he wanted to know, oh how he wanted you to tell him. 

And suddenly, it was hard. 

You were young. You couldn’t hold it back anymore.

The tears poured out and so did the words you held in for so long. You tried to hold it all in, but everyone has their limits. Atsushi held you closely as you cried into his arms. Kyouka followed and joined the hug. 

She understood. 

You may be older than her but she knew your pain just as well. 

Yosano worked on your legs with utmost care and gentleness. She knew better than to ask to heal using her unorthodox methods. She’d rather not do that, even if it took away all the physical pain, it wouldn’t do anything for your mental anguish. So she helped in the ways she could. 

Kunikida offered you that glass of water as you talked and cried. He stepped back for a moment, eyes still intently on you as you spoke with your shaky voice and teary eyes. Until he caught the sight of someone hidden in the corner of the agency.

Dazai.

His expression was unreadable as always yet there was a sense of conflict stiring in those lax eyes of his that Kunikida rarely saw. Just as Kunikida noticed him standing there in obscurity, he left through the agency’s doors. Kunikida knew to follow him in case Dazai had finally built a sense of justice and planned to do something rash.

~~~~~~~~

When the tears stopped, you sat there with your ragged yet quiet, breathing. Atsushi never once left your side. Kyouka still sat by you, unmoving. Kenji had returned a little while ago and brought you over some tissues and began reciting stories of his farm life adventures. 

Ranpo finally appeared again. His whereabouts were always where his interests lied…. Or where the snacks were. Thus, it wouldn’t surprise you if he had been there the whole time, just hidden away. 

With a lollipop still in his mouth, he looked down at you. You couldn’t read his eyes, you barely ever saw them when you think about it. Kenji, continued to talk while your attention shifted to Ranpo. He brought his arm forward, in his hand, a single lollipop. He motioned you to take it. 

When it was in your hands, he was already gone back to whatever he was doing, yet you stared at it as though it were gold. 

Home…. A place that’s warm.. A place you feel loved..

You were home. You were safe.

And so you smiled, it would be okay.

~~~~~~~~

Weeks had passed since then, your father was arrested on accounts of child abuse and neglect and you were free from his torment. That moment when Kunikida had left that day, he must’ve gone to seek out your father you supposed. Regardless, you were thankful to not just him, but the entire agency. 

You were free, and you would be okay.

That ‘home’ meant nothing to you, so with Fukuzawa-san’s permission, you were allowed to move into the agency dorms. Again, nothing you could do would expression your gratefulness towards him.

Although old habits and traumas never die, you were healing. You had people who loved you and cared for you. People who would laugh with you as Kunikida and Dazai fought. People who would eat with you when you couldn’t sleep. And people who watched over you, even if silently.

You weren't alone, and most importantly, you were happy.

[luvfy0dor]

Hey! I just found your fics and love your writing. I was wondering if you could do a fluff fic of bsd characters x a gender neutral reader who has lost their voice or is mute. I don’t know who you write, but maybe atsushi or sigma? Thanks :DDD

BSD W/ Mute GN!Reader !! ༉‧₊˚.

╰┈➤ Sigma, Atsushi ♡

Description; As the title says!! I'm not really sure what else to add lol

Warnings/Disclaimers; Sigmas is a little longer than Atsushis, so apologies for that! They are both pretty similar, but I did my best!! ♡

A/N; Ahhh this is so cute!!! Absolutely!! I'm going to post like...a master list of characters I will write for soon, but I will absolutely write for them!! I really hope I fulfilled this request respectfully!!

Sigma !! ༉‧₊˚.

Sigma spends all of his free time obsessing over his customers at the Sky Casino. Any medical issue or detail, he'll know about it and do his very best to accommodate you. He's very aware of your inability or unwillingness to speak, but that would not stop him from trying to communicate with you.

Scenario ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Mid-poker game, you started to feel a bit parched, and that feeling is what led you to the bar. You weren't exactly in the mood for anything else on the menu, so you settled on water. While the bartender catered to other customers, you grabbed one of the napkins and a pen, jotting down the letters. While you wrote it down, you could almost feel someone staring holes into the back of your head. You turned around, only to see no one in particular looking at you. You twisted back around, feeling a bit unsettled.

A couple seconds later, you're surprised to see someone appear next to you, completely disregarding all of the open seats. The man sits down, his long hair falling gracefully over his shoulders. He smiles before grabbing a napkin and a pen, scribbling onto the thin paper.

"I don't mean to be creepy or rude, but you look lovely. You're very good at poker, too." You read on the note. You smile a bit and nod, scribbling down a reply. "Thanks, I like your hair. It's a pretty color." You pass the paper back. The bartender brings you your water and you hesitate to get up, noticing the man scribbling down something else. "My name is Sigma, yours?"

You think for a minute, deciding whether or not you wanted to give your real name. This guy claims his name is Sigma, you've never heard such a ridiculous thing, but he was dressed nicely and seemed sweet. You grabbed the pen.

"Y/n. Do you talk? Sorry if that's rude lol" The paper is now back in his hands. You can see a smile appear on his face. Instead of grabbing the pen again, he nods. "Yes, I do. Would it make you more comfortable if I verbally talked to you?" He said with the tilt of his head. "I just know you don't, so I thought maybe you'd feel a little less alarmed by me, but I guess it makes me seem weirder." He says with a quiet and embarrassed chuckle, his deep voice throwing you off a little.

You had a lot of questions. How does this man know you can't/don't talk? Who gave him that whack ass haircut? Why was he so interested in you? Not that you really minded his company, but why? You decided to quickly sum up your thoughts, unfolding the napkin and writing gently, hoping the thin sheet wouldn't rip.

"Either is fine. Your voice is nice. How'd you know I don't speak? And what made you wanna come up to me?" He read it over and you could tell he was grateful for the compliment.

"Oh, thank you. I just know my customers very well and do my best to accommodate them. I feel like that's something a good manager should do. And I don't know, I just noticed you stepping away from the table and thought I should take the chance to voice my thoughts." He says, his voice firm as he makes continuous eye contact with you. He rests his head in one of his hands. You grab a new napkin, the original being filled up with conversation. The sound of the ink transferring from the ballpoint to the the napkin going unheard because of the noisy surrounding.

"That is, be careful though, some people might think you're a stalker. You seem like a good person to run this place. And that's very sweet of you, thank you." You slide the paper back over to him, taking a sip of your water. A couple of minutes ago, you were slightly off put by Sigmas presence, but you didn't mind it one bit now. You actually enjoyed it a little, it didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable like most conversations strangers strike up with you in public. Sigma let out a quiet chuckle, nodding.

"You're right, you're right. You're also very interesting. I would really love to talk to you more, do you think you'll return to the Sky Casino soon?" Sigma asks, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he bites down on the inside of his cheek. He nervously watches you pick the pen up and scribble down a couple words.

"We've barley talked, but I absolutely plan on coming back. Do you want my number?" He reads the paper, nodding. Not too enthusiastically, but making sure he doesn't seem disinterested. You smile and write the numbers down clearly.

"###-###-####, if you message me I'll reply before I go to sleep, left my phone in my suite." With that, you continue sipping your water as you walk away from the bar. If you said you weren't feeling a little giddy you would be a big fat liar. You look around the casino, trying to decide what you wanted to do or play next, your heart a little warmer and your throat a little less dry.

------༉‧₊˚.

When returning to your casino suite, you were greeted with a dry and message-less phone. You thought perhaps Sigma had either blew you off or he was busy with his manager-ly duties. You brushed it off and practically fell asleep the second your head hit the pillow, drifting off into a dreamless rest.

The next morning, however, you received the message you were anticipating so highly.

"Hey, so sorry I didn't message until late. Would you like to go to get something to eat in the morning, maybe?" You smiled, typing out you're reply.

"Sounds good, when and where?"

Atsushi Nakajima !! ༉‧₊˚.

Atsushi is unaware at first, thinking you were just quiet and reserved, but once he's informed by Ranpo that you're infact mute, he actually tries to communicate with you more.

Scenario ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

The sun shines through the windows of the ADA, hitting your back warmly. You filled out the papers you were given, neatly writing down words on a mission report. The soft singing of birds occasionally served as distractions, pulling your attention away and out the window. You're pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of the door opening, light footsteps walking through the open space.

Atsushi and Kyouka were in the middle of eating some donuts that they presumably bought for everyone in the ADA, considering the large quantity. They had two dozen donuts, including the ones in their hands.

"Hey, Y/N! Uhm, we have some donuts if you want some! There's a bunch of different kinds." Atsushi says, walking towards your desk with the donuts. This time around, Atsushi seemed far more confident when speaking to you. He proudly set the donuts on your desk with a few napkins, letting you have your pick. You picked out your two favorites of the flavors, setting them on the napkin and smiling up at him, giving him a small, appreciative nod.

Atsushi smiled back, his cheeks slightly pink. You both can hear the door open and turn back to see Ranpo and Yosano walking in, mid-conversation with each other. Ranpo almost immediately spots the boxes of donuts and double takes, making his way over.

"Oooo, these looks real good, Atsushi! Did ya get them from that new place down the street?* He asks, taking a bite of one of the donuts. "Oh, yeah. Kyouka wanted to try it." Kyouka nods in confirmation, humming in satisfaction with her strawberry-frosted donut. "Ohhh, and I see you worked up the courage to talk to y/n, too!" Ranpo giggles, pointing over at your donuts. Atsushi started to blush a bit more, his eyes averting to you at your desk.

You tilt your head curiously. Ranpo notices, deciding to answer the question he (correctly) assumed you had.

"Atsushi was all nervous to talk with you because he thought you didn't like interacting with everyone." You nod in understanding, softly laughing. Atsushi scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Sorry, I hope that's not weird or nothin'." Atsushi mumbles.

You just shake your head, reassuring him that it's alright. You took a post-it from your desk and started scribbling down some writing before peeling it from the stack and passing it to him. He softly whispers the sentence aloud to himself.

"You can talk to me anytime, I don't bite. I think you're very cool." A smile appears on his face. "Thank you! That's very nice of you. I would compliment something about you, but I really don't know all that much. You look very nice, though. Maybe we could...y'know, set something up and get to know each other? Hang out?" He says, blushing as he looks anywhere but into your eyes.

You smile and nod, grabbing the post-it gently from his hands. You write down your phone number and put a little heart next to it, also writing down specific times you're going to be free within the next week. You hand back the paper to him and he smiled, nodding.

"Alright, I'm free friday night, too. Is there any other day you'd prefer more or..?" He asks, trying to ensure that friday night is the best option. You just shake you're head and mouth "No, Friday." He smiles "Alright, then it's...it's a date." He grins and makes his way back over to his desk, giggling and grinning like an idiot.

[saiintofawe]

after reading the sun and the star my semi-dormant pjo obsession has risen and is infesting my brain side by side with bsd. so.

bsd percy jackson au: a series of self indulgent hcs

skk is the percabeth of the situation. iconic duo. unstoppable. EVERYBODY has heard about them. literal legends among the demigods baby

dazai is a child of athena, chuuya a child of ares

dazai's team beat chuuya's during capture the flag once and chuuya went aight bet. and kicked dazai's ass during the next capture the flag. his team still lost but at least he got an excuse to fight that annoying know-it-all bandaged and beautiful son of athena

the rest is history

the akutagawa sibilings are children of hades. goth mfs

now imagine them having the same storyline as the di angelo sibilings... now in this au you can see why akutagawa talks like he belongs to another age

gin would consider joining the hunters of artemis, but in the end they end up refusing to not leave their brother alone. plus, being immortal would mean seeing him and all of their loved ones die, and gin has had enough of her loved ones dying

if skk is percabeth, shinskk is solangelo

does atsushi fit the standards for a child of apollo? idk but i can't think of another godly parent for him so be it!

unlike will solace, healing is not atsushi's strongest task but he still spends a lot of time helping in the infirmary

and that's where he meets ryūnosuke

unlike solangelo the initial hostility is NOT one sided. ryū behaves like a bitch? atsushi gets bitchy right back.

cue to atsushi looking extremely pissed while bandaging ryū's arm and them muttering insults at each other

ryūnosuke swears he hates that fucking failed doctor and atsushi would almost believe him if it wasn't for the amount of times ryūnosuke has tried sacrificing himself to save him during their quests

also in this au rashomon is a hellhound like mrs. o'learly. she's a sweet doggo that devours space and souls

or she's one of ryū's cocoa puffs? (does this count as a tsats spoiler taken out of context?)

you know that one scene in tsats where nico kisses the back of will's neck and says "i'm proud of you"? now picture that as atsushi to ryūnosuke. yeah.

also atsushi has plague powers bc i say so

yosano is the real will here: overworked healers who feel extremely guilty for every patient that died under their watch to the point of considering themselves murderers

she runs that infirmary like it's the navy

she's also a hell of a fighter, both with bows and arrows and with her own fists

bff with ranpo, who's the oracle!

they gossip abt apollo (boyfail) and complain abt their respective fundamental but hella hard roles at chb

also besties w/ chuuya

also hear me out on kousano in this au... yosano falls helplessly in love with hunter of artemis!kouyou. kouyou tries to convince herself that she's not falling for that bossy and selfless and brave doctor because she has an oath to keep and she couldn't let love knock at her door again. so everytime the hunters come to chb kouyou keeps yosano company and it's all longing looks and painful yearning. yosano wishes she could convince the redhead to break the oath and stay.

but she won't. i <3 kousano angst

moving onto happier lesbians. gin loves wandering by themselves in the forest or by the lake. people know them as the demigod who just fucks off to take a stroll in the woods and disappear there for an indefinite amount of time

and that's how she meets an awkward, stubborn but lovely dryad: you guessed it, it's higuchi!

gin was having a bad day and kicked a tree because they were just so angry— anger turned to guilt when the tree fucking yelped

gin immediately apologized and higuchi asked them what was bothering them. gin never loved to talk, so they were very surprised by themselves when they started rambling about their problems to a dryad they just accidentally hurt

from that day gin began spending even more time in the forest

sometimes they bring higuchi to camp

it isn't unusual for dryads to wander around camp, but higuchi usually kept on her own before meeting gin

higuchi helps gin to open up about their emotions and lower their walls, gin helps higuchi to make friends and to value and love herself

chuuya's fatal flaw is loyalty, dazai's is pride, ryūnosuke's is holding grudges, atushi's is holding too tight onto the past, gin's is also loyalty, yosano's is guilt

tachihara is a child of hermes. parallels between two regretful traitors el oh el

except that luke fucking sucks while tachihara has my heart

OKAY NOW OPEN YOUR EARS. STORMBRINGER ENJOYERS RISE. RIMLAINE AS SILENA AND CLARISSE..... CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS SEE........

lucy is deffff a child of aphrodite but she's so lovely she doesn't even need to use charmspeak to get what she wants. whatever you say beloved princess

idk why but i can picture her throwing an hairbrush at an ancient titant like rachel... her and rachel are acc pretty similiar imo but i will not elaborate

poe is an athena kid! the biggest loser in cabin 6!

lucy and yosano tease him on his crush on ranpo

ranpo is there like damn. is this guy gonna confess or do i have to tell him we are going to date via prophecy

poe is a surprisingly good archer, the apollo kids are almost jealous

nikolai is an hecate kid. a little trickster. a silly magician. he will steal your nose but like in the literal sense and he might not give it back

his best friend is sigma from the aphrodite cabin. sigma cannot fucking stand him

nikolai is actually the reason why sigma has split colored hair. it used to be fully white but one day nikolai went heyyy girlie look at this new hair trick my sibiling taught me :] and sigma ended up actually loving the look? so they kept it

the dryads love sigma and he spends a lot of time with them. they braid flowers in each other's hair and chill

nikolai on the other hand somehow befriended the arpies

fyodor is a child of nemesis. edgelord

jouno is a child of hermes, the eldest in the cabin

half of the camp wants him, the other half wants him gone

teruko is a child of hebe, the goddess of youth!!!!

she's ones of the oldest campers along with jouno, but she prefers to keep her child form for unknown reasons

also i can see her joining the hunters tbh

that's it for now folks i hope someone appreciates my brainrot xoxo

[tiredlilguy]

BSD|The Flags Poly HC's

come get your girl dinner, you know who you are cw: not proofread, suggestive//, a little fucked up (what do you expect though... they're mafia) notes: not adding chuuya because he was 16 at the same time they were around their 20's, reader suggested to be around their age. im just trying to cope with the recent chapter ;-;

I feel like Pianoman, Lippman, and Albatross would probably be the most provocative and louder lovers, while Iceman and Doc are kind of like “they’ll come around to me when they want to” attitude

Pianoman LOVES having you on his lap, he’s always using his “leader privilege” to be able to hold you the longest

Pianoman is handsy, but Alb is clingy… like Pianoman would be the one to try and sneak a hand to your ass, but Alb just likes hugs and holding you

Speaking of Alb, he definitely likes to steal you away all the time

Can and will just take you out of a cafe date with Lippman so then he can drive you to some random empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere just to make out with you

You have them all of a leash, and they will be there at your beck and call

Bet if you’re in trouble with something (they know very well you’re capable), doesn’t matter if it’s personal or not, they’re there

Iceman is a simp, I can definitely see him trying to be chill about your attention being on everyone else, but he’s a little jealous… he won’t say anything though

One time, Lippmann was watching Pianoman’s hand that was on your thigh as you were sitting on his lap. Pianoman eventually noticed and looked up at Lippman with a smirk and said: “ You wanna join?”

You ended up in between them that night (god, I desperately want that to be me)

You hear all the hospital drama from doc:

“ You remember […]?”

“ Yeah?”

“ Well they lost their other leg. When I tell you that I’m probably going to run out of prosthetics to put on this guy… Though, I may consider trying to Frankenstein them with a new leg. What do you think?”

Doc gifts you flowers, but he always gets the ones that are small (he thinks that they are like him, so that’s why he gets them for you), OR he’d gift you jars of severed limbs/eyes/etc

If he does surgery on you, he’s going to find some way to give you an extra organ and just not tell you about it. I guess enjoy your new third kidney babes (this is a crack hc, but I did see it from a meme)

Albatross seems like the typa guy to gift you a taxidermied animal, idk why… he gives me those vibes, like how a crow will gift you a dead mouse as thanks for saving it (Albatross is the name of a bird after all)

NO ACTUALLY, ALB DEFINITELY GIFTS ILLEGAL FISH/WHALE BONES

He’s definitely a genius at getting stuff on the black market (I mean, he can operate and fix every/any vehicle), probably had the highest bid on like an extinct whale tooth and smuggled it in to gift to you somehow

Doc and alb are fucked in the head, they just wanna show you that they love you

Anyways

Iceman seems like the type to gift you either old records, things that remind you of him, or things the reminds him of you

Lippman gifts really expensive things like designer bags or clothing

Pianoman doesn’t seem like much of a gift person, but he’d probably get you something more sentimental: like a simple (but expensive) necklace, or very romantic letters

Lippmann LOVES to spoil you: literally will take you to everything, always has you at any of his interviews (though you’re probably in disguise), or at movie/tv show shoots

Iceman definitely likes to have you to himself, he doesn’t mind the poly relationship, but if you’re with him, he doesn’t like to share

That said, if he does have you for a night, bet it’s going to be a good night (in both ways)

If you are getting shared it’s most likely pianoman + Lippmann or alb + doc

Though of course the six of you are always together, I mean hey, u got the cream of the crop of the Port Mafia all to yourself 

If you get signed a solo mission, at least one of them is either going with you or watching you on the sidelines

One time it ended up being where all of them showed up and they comedically fell out from behind a corner (the sillies)

I can imagine a scenario where you all end up going on a vacation to somewhere where there’s a beach

It was Lippmann’s idea

The end goal was to see you in swimwear- like that was the original idea… they’re horndogs

Pianoman puts his coat on you if you’re feeling cold, likes to see you put the sleeves on and see the coat sort of pool over you

Trust, if someone hurts you, that person is getting their ass demolished, beaten tf up, burned, sunk into the ground, dead as hell

They’d probably make a mess of the person who hurt you, so much so that the person is beyond recognition

Probably the one time that they let Albatross go loose (he’s probably beating the shit out of the dead body)

They do love you, they’re just a little fucked in the head

The skrunklies

[damagedintellect]

Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

💌 Would this be considered a social suicide? : Chapter 7 💌  

Summary: You knew it was dangerous to take walks at night but hearing the water rushing under the bridge was calming to your nerves. You didn’t imagine you’d ever fall into the river and somehow wake up in your favorite anime. The isekai that I’m sure will come back to haunt me. It’s kept me up all night but I might as well get the brainrot out.

Notes: Reader is Isekai’d into BSD, Slow to start, Chuuya is endgame but there’s a fair bit of reader & Dazai moments too okay like a lot of Dazai moments, implied poly but not really

♡ I was in and out of the hospital for the last half of the 2023 but it feels good to finally write again! Updates will be slow but ya'll already knew that ♡

Tags: @celestair​

💌 Word count: 2,401 💌 Available Chapters [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

The next day you had been in an extremely chipper mood despite most of your colleagues being burnt out. The agency members were slumped at their desks as Kunikida furiously scribbled away at the stack of papers that Dazai had secretly pushed towards the blonde. For you on the other hand it was hard not to have a skip in your step when Chuuya had walked you home last night after your date. The day had been a breath of fresh air not to mention romantic and sweet. As Atsushi was about to leave on a small errand, a delivery for flowers came to the office. Everyone eyed the elegant display wondering who they could possibly be for but Dazai just rolled his eyes with a huff. He rolled his eyes because he thought Chuuya was doing a victory lap since he already saw the pictures from the day before. It wasn't until the messenger stated they were for an Osamu Dazai, that he looked up in confusion. Ultimately it sent the office into a frenzy. Everyone was in an uproar asking questions that Dazai didn't exactly know the answer to until he read the card attached. He fondly smiled before diverting everyone’s interest elsewhere. He glanced in your direction as you winked to which he shook his head at you. Of course you were the one behind the flowers. He mouthed "You're ridiculous." From across the room as everyone continued to pester him. Mission accomplished.

You had been texting Chuuya whenever you got the chance to, you asked about his day, sent meme’s you thought were funny, you even sent him a picture of the flowers you sent Dazai. Within the hour another delivery arrived causing you to fall out of your chair laughing as you were handed an even bigger display of flowers. This time it made Dazai groan and pretend to barf. The rest of the office wasn't surprised in the slightest that you were given flowers. Half of them could probably guess who sent them anyhow. Atsushi was really the only one who was confused and asking questions.

Since no one was getting any work done with the distractions, and to deflect the lingering attention off of you, you suggested taking a break at everyone’s favorite Cafe. That seemed to do the trick immediately giving you the much needed space you desired. The flowers were beautiful and you thought the arrangement was very thoughtful. Dazai had made the joke that he's surprised that Chuuya didn't send roses which was most people's knee jerk decision when sending flowers for multiple reasons. One of which was to flex how much money they spent on them but also they are classically romantic and who doesn't like roses. Of course, Chuuya opted for red camellias. It made you laugh since that was the flower chosen to represent the redhead in multiple official art pieces. Although looking up the meaning made you blush. Google says, “They're known to symbolize deep desire, so if you're trying to win someone over, then sending a bouquet of red camellias will do the trick.”

It certainly was working, that's for sure. You only wished you could do the same to Chuuya but you couldn't imagine that the mafia would allow a random delivery for flowers to their headquarters. On top of that you didn’t actually know if Chuuya was still at his office or out and about.

Instead you tried to think of other ways to give gifts to the mafioso. The next day, with the help of Dazai, you broke into Chuuya’s apartment to give him flowers too. It's still weird that Dazai is willing to help you like this but you shrugged it off for the most part. It must mean he really did believe your lie about your alternate timeline. That and you were skipping work. You both headed to the cafe after operation “Fluster the slug” was complete since it was most likely where everyone else would be at this hour. Still it was a shame you wouldn't be able to see Chuuya's reaction.

As you and Dazai approached the cafe you noticed the rest of the gang standing just outside the doors. You didn’t have to look inside the cafe to know that it was, that, episode. The whole agency went ballistic. You play along passing off details about the organization responsible for the hit on the cafe. All you knew was they called themselves “The Park” but that was good enough for everyone else to jumpstart an investigation.

Kunikida was still working away by the time everyone was ready for the heist. It wasn’t like you could add anything, naturally being a noncombatant you stayed behind helping file all the papers that Kunikida had been polishing off left and right. They had been gone for roughly a half hour when you heard a firm knock at the door. You looked up from the stack of files laid out on your desk to see Chuuya at the entrance. Standing up in surprise you knock over a stack of papers in the process “Chuuya, What are you doing here?” You had been eager to see him again but this was unexpected. 

He smiled at your clumsiness as he crossed the room to help you pick up the papers. “I was in the area so I thought I’d drop by.” As he handed you the last document he offered you his hand, gently helping you off the floor. Taking a glance around the office he noted that it must be a relatively slow day for you, perfect. “I was gonna ask if you’d like to have dinner with me later but maybe you’d prefer to grab lunch?” 

You blinked a few times at him letting the words process a little bit. He was asking you out on a date? Realistically you never did grab lunch earlier and you had done more than enough work to warrant leaving early. Still it caught you off guard that Chuuya was actually invested in taking you out. Of course he said the feeling was mutual the other day but you're just not used to people wanting to court you.

“You can say no if now's a bad time. I just figured a real man should ask in person.”

You shook your head trying to get the words to leave your mouth. You could see his confidence diminish with how long of a pause you took in order to respond. “No no it's not that-now's a great time actually. I kinda skipped lunch with all the commotion earlier!”

Chuuya raised an eyebrow in concern “Something happen?” You both start casually making your way out of the office. 

When the door clicked behind you Kunikida finally looked up from his work. “Wasn’t that the Port Mafia's gravity manipulator?”

—

You explained your very eventful start to the day to Chuuya as he nodded along in understanding. Ironically the mafia had been keeping tabs on “The Park’s” activity but they were such a minor threat Mori didn’t feel like taking them out. Essentially the Agency was doing them a favor by handling them. What a small world. You both were so enthralled with your conversation it didn’t occur to either of you that you didn't have a game plan for where to eat. To be fair you’d normally eat at the cafe but they were compromised. You didn’t even really know what Chuuya's favorite foods were either. The only thing listed on his likes that was food related was wine and it wasn’t exactly the right hour to be drinking just yet. 

You both had been walking around in circles just talking and enjoying each other’s company, food was the last thing on your mind. However a thought did arise given your current circumstance. It made you smile devilishly at the opportunity that had presented itself. You pulled out your phone looking up the current eateries in the area to see if any had a take out menu. Chuuya gave you a quizzical look as you dragged him to some random restaurant. “Are you sure this is where you want to eat?” 

“Actually about that,” You didn’t know how to pose the question. This was only the second date and you were already asking to go to his apartment. To be fair he had been over to yours without asking so maybe this way you could call it even. “I was thinking maybe we just get take out and watch a movie at your place.” Your request sounded meek and unsure. In fact Chuuya thought he misheard you all together.

What was so great about going to his apartment? Was it even clean enough for company? Chuuya wasn’t a messy person by any means; he's just busy and leaves things out on occasion. You watched his neutral expression waver as his face darkened. A man and a woman alone together. Oh, that was a possibility. Although he shouldn't assume that to be the reason. He berates himself for thinking like that. 

It didn't take much convincing for Chuuya to agree. All you really had to say was you didn't want to be around crowds for a while. After that week with Q’s ability running rampant you were okay if you never left the house again. Plus you brought up that he’s seen your place and that it would only be fair to take you to his. He really has no idea what your true intentions were. You were excited to see his reaction.

As you made your way to his building you had a skip in your step, the anticipation was killing you. He gave you a look before he put his keys into the lock. It was weird seeing you marvel at him this way. He wasn’t used to people looking at him with such admiration. Your face lit up as he motioned for you to step inside. He thought your behavior was cute but he still didn't get why you were so enthralled with the idea of being over at his place. 

He went to put the food down on the table and had to do a double take. “What the hell?!” Chuuya nearly dropped the food after seeing the flowers. He was about to search his place to make sure nothing else weird was done while he was out when he saw your face. Your smile beaming wide as you giggled at him. A light dusting of blush on your cheeks. 

“So that's why you wanted to come here!” he accused. 

Chuuya fiddled with the card for the flowers as he turned away from you. He didn't know what to say. No one has ever given him flowers before. No one other than Dazai also breaks into his apartment. Maybe he should change the locks again. Beside the point, he was baffled and touched.

You stepped in front of him leaning over the edge of the table to smell the flowers. “Guilty! I just wanted to see your face,” you turned to him, winking “It was worth it, oh and before you ask, yes I had Dazai’s help.”

He opened his mouth but you cut him off “I made sure he didn't mess with anything before we left and no I didn't go in your room. This is as far into your place as I got.”

Chuuya clicked his tongue, folding his arms across his chest. He was watching you reach across the table with a soft smile. You really were something else. He shook his head, grabbing a flower to put in your hair. “Well, I guess I should give you a tour then.”

You stare back at him feeling warm. You couldn’t contain your happiness as he ushered you around. It was fairly big for one person and pretty well kept for him not being around all the time. You sat down on the couch as he brought the food over. You were scrolling through movies on his streaming service when one caught the corner of your eye. “The boy and the puppy” You felt Chuuya tense up beside you as you clicked on it. Honestly watching a sad movie with your almost boyfriend seems like a win, win situation. If you cry, Chuuya gets to hold you. If he cries, you get to hold Chuuya. How sad could it really be?

Turns out, extremely sad! Why was it so sad? This was just as bad as “Marley and me” . It was so heartwarming but immensely bittersweet. You both had tears streaming down your faces but he was turned away slightly trying to save his dignity. God look at you, couple of cards you were, both of you completely wrecked by a sad movie. It made you ugly laugh at the situation you put yourself in. His head snapped in your direction furrowing his eyebrows at you. “How can you be laughing at a time like this?!”

“Why did you let me watch that, you knew how sad it was!” You were laughing through your tears as he threw his arms up “The hell! You knew, I knew it was sad and you still clicked on it!” Chuuya was banking on the fact that since he’s seen the film before, knowing would prevent the water works and he would be able to suavely comfort you, but he took one look at you tearing up and then he started tearing up and now you both were a mess. 

“Well this backfired!” you wiped your tears before throwing yourself on top of the redhead burying your face in his chest as Chuuya fell backwards on the other side of the couch. You pouted “I thought I was strong enough! I was going to cute cry and lean on you for comfort. This is the worst!” 

He laughed shifting to make this position more comfortable. Wrapping one arm around you to make sure you didn’t fall off the edge and the other to pet your head. “Can’t win 'em all I guess.”

“Pffft yeah no kidding.” You nuzzled into his touch listening to his heartbeat. You don’t know how long you stayed like that but it was nice. It made you smile until your face hurt. It reminded you of the night Chuuya came over to your place. You felt your eyes slip shut and you drifted to sleep.

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