#brutus was better than all of us at dealing with grief

[onedivinemisfit]

Reminiscing over how Brutus used to sit at Max’ grave for the first few weeks following his death. We’d let him out to do his rounds, he was very diligent in keeping his “inherited” territory, but he’d always start by sitting for five minutes or so at the grave. Just sitting there, looking at nothing in particular.

[incurablyromanticsblog]

Don't know how people are gonna feel about this but Loki should've been dealt with the way they dealt with Lucifer (from the Netflix show) I mean while the show straight up dismissed loki's feelings, lucifer netflix really showed us the natural and organic character growth with ups and downs while still maintaining the comic hilarity (WHICH WASNT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE MC). It's love interest and side characters are all original characters dealt as independent characters rather as brownie or plot points.

And the scenes that prompted me to think this?

1. Lucifer asking his Mazikeen to cut off his wings because he's moved past being a pawn in his father's 'Great Plan'. We could've had loki come to this conclusion and tell Mobius (who would've been an actual all out ally who was forced into doin lg what he did) that he no longer wanted any place in a land that hated him. (Once again like Lucifer calling the silver city hell)

2. Lucifer actually being the way he's supposed to be (angel of light, light bringer etc.) We could've had Loki act like the way he Actually Is. Not like how @iamnmbr3 so eloquently put it 'like larry the dumb lookalike'. We could've had Loki being stern yet having that air of sarcasm and wit that he had in his the films. His eloquence, his physical prowess (none of the falling flat on his face stuff, a lot of people talk about how he was trying not to hurt the people in ep 2 but srsly Loki would just immediately disarm them), and most of all his agency and refusal to cower or the pathetic attempts at lying.

3. Costumes. The lucifer netflix team had an extensive costume department that ironically pales in comparison to what disney is capable of but still we see Lucifer have a wide array of clothes and styles. Have Loki take the first chance to change his clothes. If he wants the 50s aesthetic have at it! he can wear the tuxedos and the nice leather. Or maybe change into some nice Viking-inspired leathers and battle armor. Have him as a pirate, or a knight or a cowboy. You're traveling through time good man! you can at least hit some of the cool spots.

4. In depth analysis of lucifer's mental health. the only episode of the Loki tv show I liked (loose term) is the first one cause it's the only one that gave a fraction of what we were promised: an insight into loki. That's it.

5. Lucifer's organic growth. This is self-explanatory. Loki watched one video and was good. Very good five stars. I understand that they only had six episodes but come-on. You could've had the subtle changes through out all the eps and lead to the big finish finally. With each episode focusing on certain aspects of Loki.

5. Lucifer's exploration of self-loathing. This deserves to be a separate point because Istg it was done so well. Basically lucifer messes up and he's faced with the hatred that's been conditioned into him (not unlike Loki) and then he learns what it is and actually tries to love himself. And not by kissing a female variant of himself (ew and also respect the gender fluid persons). He actually saw the good in him by reflecting and his actual good friends helping him.

6. Lucifer actually wanting to be good. Look Idc what shut mike waldron wrote, loki is not selfish when his whole arc has been doing things for asgard, thor, odin, frigga etc. We all know that New York was mind control, I do not know why it's being swept under the rug. But here's the thing, that self loathing I mentioned earlier is a huge part of Loki thinking he's some monster and intent on proving it.

7. Lucifer facing his 'devil-face'. Loki should've come to terms with his Jotun heritage. The TVA could've had a case in Jotunheim concerning the Royal Family and Loki could've seen the entirety of Jotunheim and it's people not just that most-likely war propaganda the Asgardians force-fed him. Maybe have him meet his siblings or better yet his mother. There's a very nice fic on A03 called Asgardian Galdr that deals with this beautifully.

8. Luicfer having a Breakdown and Crying: First off this happens gradually, his problems pile up etc etc. and he faces off his father and gets angry until he finally breaks down. And basically God says, "I'm sorry but i can't fix you," And Lucifer in all his grief and desperation asks, "But you're God,'. I know we talk a lot about Loki being made weak in the Show but that's specifically about him being made weak and helpless to make Sylvie seem like a stronger character (Don't get me started on the Sif and Narcissm scene istfg), But maybe seeing Loki try awkwardly to be good and near the finish of the show we see it blow up in some angsty way? only for some conversation like this to happen and have Loki understand that being good is something that is innate and something he already had the potential for all along. Maybe learn that he's not lawful good but as always the morally grey character we know him as. (Protector of misfits, god of outcasts i.e all the shit Marvel shat on) and rise as the God of Chaos and Stories against the rigid bonds of The TVA and essentially Kang.

9. Lucifer having a nice healthy romantic interest and relationship. Lucifer and Chloe's relationship is more often than not the main point of the show but no matter how much it is focused on it remains health, organic and not a weird allegory for something disgusting. Even if Sylvie weren't a Loki (once again ew) the whole dynamic was toxic. She constantly put him down, and invalidated his feelings (Sounds like Odin huh?) and guess what Loki fell in love with her after one day, one conversation of what love was and Mobius calling her his girlfriend (he also said that it was freakish and i agree). We could've had Sigyn sweet lord. (I'll make another post about this)

10. Lucifer's Sexuality. There is a whole episode in which Loki's paramours are getting murdered and they all vary from men to women to all that comes in between. And there's no shame, no offensive jokes. Have Loki flirt with dudes, i understand ms.karen that this is for children, don't worry the casual sex ;) was offscreen. Have Loki turn into a woman and flirt with woman cowards, maybe make some questionable remarks about horses (That make Sigyn laugh)

11. Lucifer's Powers: lemme sum up, Lucifer can, let's call it, use compulsion on people. He is known for his strength and prowess and abilites to grant favors. Have Loki shapeshift into animals, absolutely mauling people. Have him use his silver-tongue to coax people into making or changing history (Yes Brutus, Caesar is getting to be a bit much, say have you heard how sharp knives are?)

I'm pretty sure there's more that i can't remember rn. And here is one thing i would like to make very clear.

You are not bad for liking the show or hating it whatever. The problem is that the show framed a lot of bad things as good (Anything the TVA did, Mobius' torture session with Loki, the way Sylvie treated Loki only for them to become romantic partners, the Sylkie fiasco as it was offensive to genderfluid people and the bare fucking minimum of LGBTQ and POC rep). The show was also marketed specifically to make us think hey! Loki might actually be the main character only for it to blow up in our faces. We were also promised an actual plot rather than a constantly plot twisting concept that could've been worth something.

Also i'm still working on a Loki fic rn after which i will write a Loki(TV) Rewrite but unitil then ig.

[daughter-of-the-prophet]

Alistair (Tv Tropes “Origins”)

Adaptation Dye-Job: Becomes increasingly red-haired in the next two stories, and red-haired and blue-eyed in the comics.

Adorkable: As Leliana comments in a conversation with him, his sense of humor, coupled with his awkwardness and nervousness around women, makes him strangely endearing and is a large part of his charm. This is one of the things that make Ilona attracted to him.

Always Save the Girl: He makes it clear he values Ilona’s life over his own. 

Amazon Chaser: Ilona knowing how to kick ass and fight with a blade is one of the things that makes Alistair attracted to her. He even fondly notes in Awakening "I married an indestructible goddess."

Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: His description of what’s wrong with Orlais at the moment during his cameo in Dragon Age II.

                 Alistair: “Oh the usual: attempted assassinations, uprisings, fancy parties with stinky cheeses..”

Battle Couple: He’s this with Ilona.

This is also combined with Royals Who Actually Do Something as he becomes King and marries her as well. 

Berserk Button: Loghain becomes this to him after his betrayal of Cailan leads to the death of all the other Grey Wardens, and Duncan in particular.

Big Eater: It’s a Grey Warden thing, apparently.

Breakout Character: He has appeared more in more Dragon Age media than any other character. Thus far he’s been in all three stories, a trilogy of comic miniseries, and the novel The Calling, where he appears as a newborn.

Broken Pedestal: Like most, he holds Loghain in high regard before the Battle of Ostagar, privately admitting that while Cailan is the King, it’s Loghain to whom they have to look for victory. Then Loghain retreats from the battle, leaving the King, the Grey Wardens, and Duncan to an ignoble death, and then blames the Wardens for regicide. From then on, Alistair has an undying hatred for the man and it becomes very personal.

Buffy Speak: Tends to lapse into this at times.

           Alistair: “You stole them, didn’t you? You’re some sort of… sneaky… witch-thief!”

Butt-Monkey: Everyone gets a turn to mock him. Even Brutus. Ilona is the only person who doesn’t treat him this way, which is possibly one of the reasons why he loves her.

Contemplate Our Navels: Morrigan accuses him of doing this while traveling to Lothering, in so many words.

Corrupt the Cutie: After meeting the woman he believed was his maternal half-sister and being treated uncharitably by her, he loses many of his squeaky-clean morals, but the loss of naive idealism makes him more understanding of his subjects when he becomes King.

Covert Pervert: He apparently spends a fair deal of his time ogling Ilona’s ass. Wynne teases him about it.

The Creon: Alistair intentionally avoids mentioning the fact that he is actually the senior Grey Warden - because he doesn't want to lead. In fact, he didn’t want to become King of Ferelden for exactly the same reason.

Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Despite the fact that he’s… well, Alistair, he is very much capable of holding his own in a fight, being able to take on numerically superior opponents and even dragons. 

Dare to Be Badass: Ilona invokes this in Alistair after convincing him to take the throne.

Deadpan Snarker: Like father, like son: Maric snarked just as much as him.

Deuteragonist: The secondary storyline (Ferelden's Succession Crisis) pretty much revolves around him.

Disappeared Dad: Although he understands why King Maric couldn’t acknowledge him as his illegitimate son. He is also this to his son Kieran.

Dork Knight: While Alistair is heroic, noble, and brave, he also lacks confidence and fumbles when talking to women.

Ensign Newbie: During the Korcari Wilds mission, but he soon makes it clear that he’d rather have Ilona take this role. Morrigan even lampshades it. The Darkspawn Chronicles shows what would have happened if he hadn’t been able to pass the buck. He manages to make it all the way to the Archdemon. But then it ends badly.

Entendre Failure: He’d happily hop borders with Zevran given the chance - after all, he’s never even been close to leaving Ferelden.

Evil Laugh: He has a very impressive playful one that he breaks out on a couple of occasions, such as when jokes about having a nefarious plan to make the other party members mutiny and have him take over as group leader. In a subversion, he once breaks into a cough mid-evil laugh.

The Fettered: As much as Ilona, especially when he becomes king.

First Girl Wins: Ilona was the first woman his own age he ever encountered after having been sent to the Chantry at age ten to be a Templar and then being a part of the Wardens (who, in Ferelden, had no women currently in the order until Ilona came along). Unless you count that one time in Denerim… but those women were not like Ilona.

Foil: To Zevran. Two orphaned boys who were raised communally (Alistair in a castle, Zevran in a whorehouse) who were shipped off to an organization at an early age (Alistair to the Templars, Zevran to the Crows) without their consent, which largely defined who they became as an adult (Alistair a duty-bound warrior, Zevran a loose and easy assassin). They both even have prolific (often deadpan) senses of humor. However, while Alistair is an adorkable virgin who hides his pain behind a shield of duty, honor, and lame jokes, Zevran is The Casanova who Really Gets Around and hides his pain behind a charming smile and a devil-may-care attitude.

Generation Xerox: Potentially to both of his parents. He’s a Grey Warden like his mother Fiona and becomes King of Ferelden like his father Maric. He also conceives a son out of wedlock with Morrigan, a mage like how his father conceived him out of wedlock with Fiona, an elven mage.

The Good King: Alistair turns out to be an excellent monarch, having a common touch which makes the people of Ferelden love him, and quickly learns the finer points of administration. Combined with Ilona as his queen, Ferelden ends up with one hell of a Ruling Couple.

Good People Have Good Sex: Alistair is a sweetheart, and falls for Ilona who is also loving and kind. After his first time having sex with her, Alistair comments that the Chantry sisters had him half-expecting to be struck by lightning for doing what they just did. His beloved reassures him: “Not for that performance.” Ilona also has a “girl talk” with Leliana and Morrigan, where she assures them (out of his hearing range) that he is very good in bed.

Half-Human Hybrid: The Calling reveals that Alistair’s mother is Fiona, an elven Grey Warden and lover of King Maric. This makes Alistair elf-blooded. The children of elves and humans are always born human looking. In Inquisition, Fiona herself vaguely hints at her relationship with Alistair, but never outright says it

Happily Married: To Ilona, it’s stated in the epilogue that he openly adores his wife, much to the delight of the people of Fereldan.

Henpecked Husband: In Dragon Age II, it’s made clear that Ilona is the one who wears the trousers in the relationship. It’s treated very lightheartedly, however, and when Alistair calls her “the old ball and chain,” it’s said with obvious affection.

       Alistair: "Just because she killed an Archdemon, she doesn’t scare me!“ 

      Teagan: "You just keep telling yourself that, Your Majesty”

Heroic Bastard: And a royal bastard at that. He notes he should use that line more often.

Hidden Backup Prince: He’s a bastard, and in line to the throne! His claim is apparently roughly equal to that of his half-brother the king’s widow.

Hidden Depths: After he becomes king, he turns out to be better suited to the job than he expects to be. In Dragon Age II, he demonstrates a willingness to allow fleeing mages to enter Ferelden so long as they follow the laws of the land. Meredith is annoyed that the new king does not immediately comply with her demands. In Inquisition, his codex entry notes that the people love him.

Hunk: Quite manly. Quite handsome

Hurting Hero: He rarely says it outright, but the massacre of Duncan and the other Wardens scars him pretty deeply, to the point that he harbors an intense and bitter hatred for Loghain. He’s lucky to have Ilona be there for him and to listen to him without judgment.

Idiot Hero: Morrigan and Anora both accuse him of being one. Although he has his moments, they’re never at critical junctions. He even calls himself an idiot hero at times.

          Alistair: "Look, I can’t be king. Some days I have trouble figuring out which boot goes on which foot.“

In Touch With His Feminine Side: Mostly in terms of his open, emotional personality. Alistair is very expressive of his feelings, doesn’t even try to hide his grief over the deaths of the other Wardens (often sounding on the verge of tears whenever it’s brought up), often approaches Ilona to talk about his grief, and invites her to talk about her grief as well. This annoys some of the more stoic party members (particularly Morrigan and Sten), who feel he ought to suck it up since Real Men Don't Cry, though it doesn’t deter him any. Alistair is also pretty unashamed about his less-than-manly moments, going so far as to joke with Ilona that he should wear a dress to distract the darkspawn, and mentioning a girly scream he once emitted when he first joined the Wardens

This is also a point in his favor with the romance, since Alistair gives Ilona a rose he had sentimentally picked earlier for different reasons but which now reminds him of her, wants to wait to have sex since he wants his first time with her to be special, and is very open about his budding romantic feelings toward her (even if he’s not always the most eloquent about it).

Intergenerational Friendship: With Wynne, who becomes something of a surrogate mother to him.

Irony: Alistair is a Human Templar Grey Warden. His (real) mother is an Elven Mage Grey Warden

It’s Personal: Towards Loghain for causing the deaths of the Grey Wardens and Duncan in particular.

This is also the reason why Ilona allows him to be the one to kill Loghain when she chooses to have the General be executed for his crime.

Knight in Sour Armor: Although he’s aware that Grey Wardens often must do pretty bad things for the greater good, and lives in a world that has rarely shown him any kindness, he still feels as if it’s still worth being a decent person and protector.

Knight Templar: He was training to be one, though only in job description; he flat out states that a life devoted to single-mindedly hunting down apostate mages was not for him, and it wasn’t his choice to pursue that future.

Lady and Knight: It’s more accurately Knight and Knight, but after starting a romantic relationship with Ilona, he definitely behaves like a White Knight to a Bright Lady towards her.

Lethal Chef:

When Morrigan joins the party, one of the first things he asks is “Can you cook?” Then he explains that if he has to cook, they’re all as good as dead.

Leliana later asks him in a conversation what was in the dish he made for the party’s supper the previous night. When he tells her it was a lamb and pea stew, she comments that it had a texture she doesn’t normally associate with lamb. He explains this by telling her that this is the way all Fereldans cook.

                  Alistair: "We take our ingredients, throw them into the largest pot we can find, and cook them for as long as possible until everything is a uniform grey color. As soon as it looks completely bland and unappetizing, that’s when I know it’s done.“

Love Interest: To Ilona.

Manchild: At times, his decisions are more reminiscent of a temperamental teenager than a defender of the whole land. These are often potential Jerkass moments. He also gets called a lad/boy several times.

Mr. Fanservice: He's adorkable, handsome, and a hopeless romantic. The voice doesn’t hurt either.

Nature Abhors a Virgin: While Alistair himself is pretty okay with the idea (aside from teasing), the plot is most definitely against him. In order for him to have a happy ending with Ilona, he must impregnate Morrigan by sleeping with her. Apparently, a man can be a virgin, but can’t remain one for long and can’t have just one woman in his lifetime for things to work out to his benefit.

Odd Friendship: Despite being a former Templar, he quickly strikes up a friendship with Wynne and seems closer to her than any of the other companions. This is rather understandable, as he freely admits he was terrible at being a Templar and never wanted to be one in the first place.

Orphan’s Plot Trinket: Averted - he had an amulet that use to belong to his mother, but threw it at a wall and smashed it in anger as a child after he was sent to the monastery to be trained as a Templar. Ilona later finds it in the study of Redcliffe Castle, having been glued back together by Arl Eamon and gives it to Alistair as a gift, but it has no further relevance to the story.

Parental Abandonment: Repeatedly.

Both his mother and father weren’t present in his upbringing, primarily due to reasons of death (or so he was told) and not being able to recognize him due to his illegitimacy.

After Arl Eamon married an Orlesian woman, who took an immediate disliking to him, Alistair was sent to a monastery.

And then Duncan, who was the closest thing he ever had to a real father, dies in the battle of Ostagar. If Alistair has abandonment issues, they’re not hard to understand.

The Pig Pen: According to Wynne, he smells just as bad as the dog. When he mentions being raised by flying dogs in a joking way, Ilona playfully tells him “That would explain the smell!”. This whole conversation takes a turn for the tragic once Ilona learns that Arl Eamon used to make Alistair sleep in the kennels in order to keep him out of the way; to a small extent, he actually was raised by dogs.

Properly Paranoid: To the point where some of his dialogue may well be Foreshadowing.

His suspicions that Flemeth had ulterior motives for sending Morrigan with the party are completely correct.

In DAII when he meets Hawke, he urges her to continue protecting Kirkwall; Hawke responds by asking him, “Protect Kirkwall from what, exactly?” Alistair expresses the opinion that Knight-Commander Meredith is probably the biggest threat to Kirkwall - and he’s absolutely right.

Raised by Wolves: He jokes about this to Ilona. He was raised by dogs. With wings. Who were devout Andrastians. And hated cheese. She eventually learns that Arl Eamon had him sleep with the hounds as a child, so this actually isn’t far from the truth.

Reluctant Ruler: Though he’s the senior Grey Warden, he’s not at all interested in being the party leader. Despite, or perhaps because of, his lineage, Alistair is very clear that he does not want to be a leader. Nevertheless, he is given the crown and proves to be good at the job of being king.

Rousing Speech: Gives a damn good one to the army before the battle of Denerim.

Royals Who Actually Do Something: After becoming King at the Landsmeet, he makes it perfectly clear that he’ll be on the front lines and leading the charge during the Battle of Denerim and the assault to take down the Archdemon.

Sad Clown: He sometimes uses humor to cover up his grief. Ilona isn’t fooled but completely understands and jokes along with him. None of the other party members are fooled either, and his humor is often irritating to other people; Shale says as much outright.

Shout-Out:

Seeing as the series was heavily inspired by it, Alistair is one for Jon Snow from A Song of Ice and Fire. Each one is a bastard from a respected royal family who doesn’t know who his mother is and who suffered mistreatment and neglect at the hands of their stepmother figure. Each one is offered the throne and is part of an elite group that slowly is dying out but are vital to the survival of the world in the face of the reawakening ancient evil they were created to fight.

Also, with Buffy the Vampire Slayer serving as additional inspiration, it’s possible that Alistair’s jokey mannerisms and Butt-Monkey status were based on that of Xander Harris.

His romantic relationship with Ilona is also somewhat similar to Steve Trevor’s romantic relationship with Diana in the 2017 film Wonder Woman.  Both are soldiers who fall in love with a warrior princess who can clearly kick ass and while not completely helpless are usually the ones who need saving and particularly by that said love interest.

Sibling Yin-Yang: Unlike Cailan, who merely thought himself the Warrior Prince, Alistair proves to actually be one.

Sickeningly Sweethearts: His romance with Ilona comes close to this if Wynne and Morrigan are to be believed. Wynne doesn’t seem to mind; Morrigan is another story.

Single Woman Seeks Good Man: His benevolent personality is one of the reasons why Ilona fell in love with him.

Spare to the Throne: Unfortunately, he’s a bastard, so he wasn’t raised to the task. Needless to say, he’s not happy about the idea of becoming king after being trained for something completely different and being quite forcefully assured that his illegitimate status would prevent the question.

The Talk: Wynne starts giving him one when he begins an intimate relationship with Ilona. Once he realizes what she’s going on about, he interrupts with a highly embarrassed, “Andraste’s flaming sword, I know where babies come from!” She delights in the fact that she gets him to blush.

Trademark Favorite Food: Jokingly admits to having “an unholy obsession with very fine cheeses.“ The fandom has kind of run away with this one.

Turn Out Like His Father: Oh yeah!

Undying Loyalty: Has this towards the Grey Wardens and the woman he loves.

Unexpected Virgin: As a result of growing up in the Chantry and then being recruited directly from there into Ferelden’s Grey Wardens (which currently had no female wardens until Ilona showed up). Alistair is reluctant to talk about it (for understandable reasons), so this is treated as a minor revelation during his romance with Ilona.

Warrior Prince: Unlike Cailan, he actually fits the warrior part as well as the prince.

What’s Up, King Dude?: After being made king, the epilogue potentially states that he frequents taverns, endearing him to the common folk.

The Wrongful Heir to the Throne: He sees himself as this.

Younger Than They Look: He looks and sounds to be in his mid-twenties to early thirties, but he’s actually 20-years-old at the start of the story. See Manchild above 

[utopianatolia]

Kitaplar...

251) William Shakespeare - Julius Caesar

Like a Colossus, and we petty men Walk under his huge legs and peep obout To find ourselves dishonourable graves Men at some time are masters of their fates The fault, dear, Brutus, is not in our stars But in ourselves, that we are underlings.

I can as well be hanged as tell the manner of it: it was mere foolery, I did not mark it. I saw Mark Antony offer him a crown, yet ‘twas not a crown neither, ‘twas one of these voronets: and, as I told you, he put it by once: but for all that, to my thinking, he was very loath to lay his fingers off it. And then he offered it the third time; he put it the third time by: and still as he refused it, the rabblement hooted and clapped their chopped hands and threw up their sweaty night-caps and uttered such a deal of stinking breath because Caesar refused the crown, that it had almost choked Caesar; for he swooned and fell down at it: and for mine own part, I durst not laugh for fear of opening my lips and receiving the bad air.

If ı were Brutus now and he were Cassius He should not humour me. I will this night In several hands, in at his windows throw As if they came from several citizens Writings, all tending to the great opinion That Rome holds of his name, wherein obscurely Caesar’s ambition shall be glanced at Anf after this let Caesar seat him sure For we will shake him, or worse day endure

That should be in a Roman you do want Or else you use not. You look pale and gaze And put on fear and cast yourself in wonder Too see the strange impatience of th heavens But if you would consider the true cause Why all these fires, why all these gliding ghosts Why birds and beasts from quality and kind Why old men,fools, and children calculate Why all these things change from their ordinance Their natures and preformed faculties To monstrous quality,why,you shall find That heaven hath nfused them with these spirits To make them instruments of fear and warning Unto some monstrous state Now could I, Casca, name to thee a man Most like this dreadful night That thunders, lightens, opens graves, and roars As doth the lion in the Capitol A man no mightier than thyself or me In personal action, yet prodigious grown And fearful, as these strange eruptions are

Therein, ye gods, you make the weak most strong Therein, ye gofs, you tyrants do defeat. Nor stony tower, nor walls of beaten brass Nor airless dungeon, nor strong links of iron Can be retentive to strentgth of spirit But life, being weary of these wordly bars, Never lacks power to dismiss itself If I know this, know all the world besides, That part of tyranny that I do bear I can shake off at a pleasure

And why should Caesar be a tyrant then? Poor man! I know he would not be a wolf But that he sees the Romans are but sheep: He were no lion were not Romans hinds. Those that with haste will make a mighty fire Begin it with weak straws: what trash is Rome What rubbisg and what offal, when it serbes For the base matter to illuminate So bile a thing as Caesar!! But,O grief....

24

The Tarquin drive, when he was called a king “Speak, strike, redress” Am I entreated To speak and strike? O Rome I make thee promise If the redress will follow, thou receivest Thy full petition at the hand of Brutus

Cowards die many times before their deaths The valiant never taste of death but once Of all the wonders that I yet have heard It seems to me most strange that men should fear Seeing that death, a necesseary end Will come when it will come

Calphurnia here, my wife, stays me at home: She dreamt to-night she saw my statua Which like a fountain with a hundred spouts Did run pure blood, and many lusty Romans Came smiling and did bathe their hands in it: And these does she apply for warnings and portents And evils imminent; and on her knee Hath begged that I will stay  at home to-day

Et tu, Brute? Then fall,Caesar! Liberty, freedom! Tyranny is dead Run hence, proclaim,cry it about the streets

Brutus. Be patient till the last. • Romans, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my • cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and awake your senses, that you may the better judge. If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of Cnsar's, to him I say that Brutus' love to Caesar was no less than his. If then that friend demand why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer : not that I loved Cesar less, but that I loved Rome more. Had you rather Caesar were living, and die all slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live all free men ? As Caesar loved me, I weep for him; as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was valiant, I honour him; but as he was ambitious, I slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his ambition. Who is here so base that would be a bondman ? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so rude that would not be a Roman ? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so vile that will not his country? If any, speak; for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

With this I depart that, as I slew my best lover for the good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself, when it shall please my country to need my death.

And that craves wary walking, crown him that  And then I grantput a sting in him,  That at his will,he may do danger with.  Th'abuse og, greatness is when it disjoins Remorse from power: and, to speak truth of Caesar,   I have not known when his affections swayed More than his _reason. But 'tis a common proof That lowliness is young ambition's ladder,  Whereto the climber-upward turns his face; But when he once attains the upmost round, He then unto the ladder turns his back, Looks in the clouds, scorning the base degrees By which he did ascend: so Caesar may; • Then, lest he may, prevent. And, since the quarrel Will bear no colour for the thing he is,   Fashion it thus: that what he is, augmented,  Would run to these and these extremities:  And therefore think him as a serpent's egg Which hatched would as his kind grow mischievous  And kill him in the shell. 

[alandeathweaver]

entry 22

3年6月20日 (7AE)

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Well, a few moons isn’t exactly as long as I’d forgotten to write last time, is it? I’m getting better! I need to start carrying this with me...

First things first, where was I last I wrote...? Ah! Yes, it was before Omega resurfaced for the second time, and before...well, all that occurred in Doma. Mm.

The easier thing to summarize is Omega -- he woke for the second time, calling us in for our second set of tests: Nero recognized these as incidents from an old pre-Imperial Ilsabardian story, though at the same time it seemed...like it could be from a mirror of our world. The spirits upon the ghostly train mentioned a Doma unlike mine. Ah, what the shades are from don’t quite matter. Even the horrifying monster clown man. What does is that we won. Though at the price of our friend Midgardsormr (he sleeps again after saving us), and...Nero was badly wounded. I was afraid he would-- well, he is alright now. He’s just gotten off bed rest, the poor man, though he’s still not allowed to work. I try to keep him company so he won’t go mad, but I am still busy, so...I hope he keeps out of trouble. For my sake.

At least Cid seems to be finally dealing with the things he needs to deal with; he’ll have to if we’re to finish this with Omega.

As for Doma...

Gosetsu-dono lived! And he still lives now, a fact for which I am eternally grateful to the kami -- he lives by their grace, and by his own will, he walks on despite his sorrow. He is a strong man and a true samurai, and though he is old and he now walks the earth a ronin -- or at least on a pilgrimage of sorts -- he lives and I hope he will keep on living. Despite his grief...

He did not live alone, you see: Naeuri no Yotsuyu surived as well. I did not mention her last I wrote, I think -- I was too focused on the broad strokes to go into details. She was the acting viceroy of Doma, cruel and cold to her own countrymen, but beautiful, like -- and I admit that this metaphor is colored by recent events -- the cold moon of winter. I admit freely to having been awed by her beauty when I saw her; she reminded me of Yugao-dono. The same color hair and the same features, though her eyes were so much colder. But to see her cruelty, her sadism, that was...I could not condone it at all. Even when she described her past and I saw fragments with my own eyes -- perhaps because of that. I knew, in a way, what that suffering was like: to be treated like nothing by your own family, by your own people, everyone either contributing to or allowing your torment. My tribe did the same, though not quite to the horrors that woman lived through. I had no vicious drunk of a husband, and I was not sold into a brothel. Despite that, though, I did not...what she did was...

It tore her apart and rebuilt her into a monster, and she knew it well. Embraced it, even. But the woman who survived, at least for a short while, was not that woman. She was just Tsuyu-chan, without her memories, a sweet young child in mind that enjoyed sweets and games and saw Gosetsu-dono as a father. I did not trust it at first, but then I did, and...perhaps by the time we did, it was too late.

We were met by her brother, a vicious little viper named Asahi sas Brutus; Doman-born, taken in by the Imperials, crawling up the ranks and slithering his way into favor. Disgusting little toad, he was; that he loved Zenos, of all people, says much of him. Loved him...no, obsessed over him, an all consuming devotion that sent him worshiping the man like a god himself. Poor fool. Zenos would never care for that sort of slavishness -- all he seeks is the hunt. 

Her brother claimed to seek peace with Doma as an emissary, offered a prisoner trade -- it was a ruse, though. He lashed out at Tsuyu, forcing her to remember by presenting her with her disgusting parents -- she killed them when she regained herself, and I cannot fault her. If I were to be faced with my father, and if he were to even now treat me as less than dirt...I do not think I could keep my blades still. Could anyone, let alone a broken woman like her? And truly she was broken.

Broken and vengeful, and I cannot say why she allowed herself to be manipulated as she did -- though I perhaps think she knew what she was, and knew that she could never again have the peace and the happiness that came with Tsuyu, and that her only end was one drenched in yet more blood; but if she could, she would make that blood that of those who had destroyed her. We were...we were, I believe, there to give her that end once she was satisfied. Once the primal she allowed herself to become, the goddess, Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto, was slain as she knew we would slay her.

She killed Asahi in the end, with her last breaths, and I do think that she knew-- she knew redemption was beyond her (and it was; as much as I pity her sad fate, she still committed too many crimes for forgiveness), and she knew the life she could have had as Tsuyu was beyond her, though I think that Gosetsu-dono would have ever said otherwise. But she had killed all those who had shaped her into what she was, and...she had tasted sweetness in a life that had always been bitter and harsh, for a moment, and I think she took that and took Gosetsu-dono’s kindness with her across the river. At least I hope she did.

...I think I ended up sympathizing a little too much. But all the same, I planted some higanbana seeds I bought in the planter where I have moonflowers growing. She claimed a nightbloom would flower upon the site of her demise, and though nothing can grow within Castrum Fluminis, I would grow them for her. For my lady of the moonflowers, and for the lady of the spider lilies.

In any case, the man with Asahi, Maxima-san of the Populares faction -- the faction that truly does want peace -- believed us when we warned him of Zenos; he is alive! Yet he is not, because the man I saw in that vision was absolutely, in no way him. He is an Ascian now, more than that I do not know, but I know he is no longer human, and that is not the savage hunter I fought.

He agreed to make good on the prisoner exchange, and I know he is going to investigate further -- he and Alphinaud-dono, who accompanied him back to the capital! I would kill him for his recklessness if I were not also proud of his growth and his determination. He is right; this is his battlefield, politicking and being the diplomat. He can do this. I just hope he stays safe.

He and Thancred, who’s run off to the empire as well to investigate as well, the frustrating man! I hope he’ll be well. 

(Also to report: my adventures involving Ivalice keep getting stranger, and sadder, and I feel as if soon it will come to a climax.)