#bruh when i started listening nobody told me what was going on

[bandsanitizer]

my first comeback with day6 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[b3ach-bunn7]

WE SUFFOCATED OUR LOVE

a random number starts texting you and you decide to text back

Or, the bassist of your favourite band accidentally messages you and u fall in love

inspired by this fic 😆 and my fav band the driver era

band!au, no quirks, text form, eventual romance

————————————————————————-

September 18th

10:37 pm

Unknown: Ask Shiggy to grab me a monster on his way back

You: a monster?? are u 12…

Unknown: Shut up and ask

You: sorry I think you have the wrong number

Unknown: No I don’t

You: lowkey u do..

You: r u trying to hack me

Unknown: You’re still texting me so u would probably fall for it

You: okay ur still textjng me genius

Unknown: Texting*

You: Shut up.

You: okay don’t actually shut up

Unknown: Thought I was a hacker

You: maybe I wanna be hacked

Unknown: Is this flirting

You: maybe

You: r u really sexy

Unknown: Extremely

You: 😍 feeling bashful rn

You: why r u drinking monsters anyways

You: Wait am i actually messaging a 12 yr old

September 19th

4:03 am

Unknown: I’m not 12 years old

Unknown: I’m 24

Unknown: And i drink monsters for energy

Unknown: And because they r yummy

Unknown: And cheap

You: omfg you don’t need a separate text for every word

Unknown: Oh

Unknown: Didn’t think you’d be awake so late

You: well I wasn’t but SOMEONE is messaging me at 4am

You: also I’m 24 2

Unknown: Didn’t ask

You: kys

Unknown: Ok bye

You: pussy

You: why are u even awake so late

Unknown: I’m writing

You: omg 😳 are u an author

Unknown: Lol no

Unknown: I write music

You: OMG

You: even better

You: what do u play

Unknown: Bass

Unknown: And I sing kinda

You: kinda?

Unknown: I sing backup mainly

Unknown: Or lead if I’m feeling extra generous

You: generous?

Unknown: To please all my loving woman fans ofc 😫

You: EWW TF

You: DONT EVER USE EMOJIS AGAIN BRUH 😭

Unknown: 😭💔.

You: literally throwing up alllllxover my room

Unknown: Weirdo

Unknown: Go to sleep

You: don’t tell me what to do 🙄

Unknown: Okay don’t sleep

You: lowkey have to I have uni tomorrow

Unknown: Loser

You: shush

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 19th

8:47 am

You: FUCK YOU

September 19th

2:30 pm

Unknown: Meanie 😢

You: i overslept because of you

Unknown: Were you up all night thinking about me

You: i dont eben know ur name

Unknown: Dabi

You: oh ur sooooo emo and edgy

Dabi: Shut up

You: nobody... understands you😕⛓️🥀

Dabi: You gonna tell me ur name or what

You: Y/N

Dabi: Pretty name

You: dont stalk me plz

Dabi: No promises

————————————————————————

September 28th

10:02 pm

You: so if u dont go uni what do you do

Dabi: I told you i write music

Dabi: Am also in a band

You: wait are u like

You: successful

You: like do u make money from it

Dabi: Well yes

Dabi: Its my job

You: wait thats kinda cool

Dabi:  😎 

You: take it back so fast

You: do u stream ur music on like spotify

You: let me listen

You: whats ur band called

Dabi: No

You: mid name but i will look it up

Dabi: I dont wanna tell you

Dabi: Not right now at least

You: r u like super famous

You: am i messaging harry styles rn

Dabi: Im sorry i kept this from u for so long

You: is 1D cming back

You: plz

Dabi: Never

Dabi: Narry ruined us😔

You: HAHAH

You: HWO DO U KNOW WHAT TAHT IS

Dabi: I have a sister

Dabi: But seriously I'll tell you one day

You: how do ik ur not lying about ur music 🤔

Dabi: [image attachment]

September 28th

10:13pm

You: MINABHABHAE

You: LOOK

You: OMFG

You: [image attachment]

You: HIS HAND IS ALL TATTED UP AND SEXY

You: AND THAT BASS

You: just creamed my pants

Mina: GIRL

Mina: you dont even know what he looks like

Mina: he does have sexy hands tho

You: sexy hands = sexy face

You: its litch science

Mina: ur so whipped and its been a week

You: uhm

You: ten days actually

Mina: ur not right in the head

September 28th

10:22 pm

Dabi: Did my incredible bass shock u to silence

You: i literally collapsed when i saw it

You: i like the blue

You: also ur tattoos are cool

Dabi: Thanks babe

You: mhm

You: yh

You: did they hurt

You: when u got them done

Dabi: Nah they werent too bad

Dabi: Worst was probs the ones on my chest

You: r u like alll tatted up

Dabi: I am

Dabi: That okay?

You: mhm

You: very cool

You: i want a tatto but im lowkey scared like

You: what if it hurts

Dabi: Ill get one with you

Dabi: Ill talk you through it

Dabi: Distract you from the pain

You: mhm

You: yes

You: very good

You: my roomates calling me ttylxox

September 28th

10:30pm

You: [screenshot]

You: hes SOO FLIRTING RIGHT

Mina: oh babe this reads like a porno

You: DFHBAJHF

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 11th

8:37 pm

You: [link attachment]

You: listen to this song

You: LOV is the best band eva

Dabi: LOL

You: WHAT

You: its so good its my fav band

You: im seeing them next month

Dabi: Really

You: r u jelly

Dabi: Very

Dabi: If only i could be there

You: i think theres still tickets for sale if u acc wanna come

Dabi: You tryna see me in person?

You: mayhaps

You: ur just so mysterious

You: what if ur actually like a pedo

Dabi: The fuck

Dabi: I’m no pedo

You: okay cool

You: you can come to the concert then

Dabi: Seriously?

October 11th

8:47pm

You: MINA

You: PLEASE

You: [screenshot attachment]

You: SHALL I SAY YEA

Mina: UHM

Mina: YES

Mina: concerts are public so if he’s actually a creep you’ll be safe

You: OKAY

October 11th

8:50pm

You: okay omg

You: shall we actually do this

Dabi: Yeah

Dabi: You got another month to figure out if I’m a pedo

You: now I deffo think you’re one

—————————————————————————

October 17th

6:45 pm

Dabi: Does this sound good

Dabi: [audio message]

You: WOAH

You: that sounds really good

You: is that u talking at the end

Dabi: Yeah my roommate walked in

You: ur voice is so deep

Dabi: Sexy right

You: gosh so modest too

Dabi: I’m working on a new song but I can’t tell if I like that riff

You: u should like it

You: it’s very good

Dabi: Thanks babe

You: soooooo

You: can u show me ur band now 😁

Dabi: No 😁

You: 🤬

—————————————————————————

October 21st

8:33pm

You: what would u do if we meet irl and IM actually famous

You: like u pull up to the concert and I’m there but I’m actually like Jojo siwa or something

Dabi: I’d be a bit disappointed

You: u don’t fw jojo??

Dabi: No but she’s gay and I’d hope all my flirting was being put to good use here

You: hardee har

————————————————————————

October 25th

6:45pm

You: I’m supposed to be studying but

You: I can’t stop thinking if halloweeen😝

Dabi: You going trick or treating?

You: i wish

You: unfortunately too old for that now

Dabi: Loser

Dabi: My little brothers 11 so I get to do it with him

Dabi: But I gotta act cool like I don’t wanna do it

You: IM SO JELLY

You: can I borrow ur little brother on the 31st of October plz

Dabi: No weirdo

You: sigh

You: I’m going to a party at least

Dabi: Oh yeah

Dabi: What are u dressing up as

You: me and my friend are going as monster high girls 😁😁😁

You: shes draculaura and I’m clawdeen 😜

Dabi: Sick

Dabi: U have to show me when you do it

You: gosh ur so obsessed with me

You: but okay

—————————————————————————

October 28th

7:00pm

You: [image attachment]

You: the fit is ready

Dabi: Why aren’t u wearing it

You: im gonnna do the full reveal ON halloween

Dabi: Sigh fine

You: what are you wearing punk

Dabi: Punk 😭

You: LOL

Dabi: U can’t laugh

You: okay…

Dabi: You know that show curious George

You: HAHAHA

You: R U FONNA BE THE YELLOW HAT MAN

Dabi: You said u wouldn’t laugh 😔

You: NO ITS SO CUTE

Dabi: I got him a little monkey onesie

You: AWWW

You: THATS SO CUTE

October 28th

7:10 pm

You: [screenshot attachment]

You: when he’s a good older brother 😍😍❤️😝

Mina: okay bare minimum 😍😍😍

You: SHUT UP

—————————————————————————-

October 31st

6:00 pm

Dabi: [image attachment]

Dabi: Ur favourite childhood father figure

You: OMG

You: U GUYS LOOK SO GOOD

You: crazy how ur face is covered🙄

Dabi: You love the thrill of the mystery

Dabi: Let’s see ur costume

You: my party starts at like nine bruh 😭

You: im in bed watching movies

Dabi: Loser

Dabi: Imagine not trick or treating

You: u suck so much

Dabi: Ofc I do 😋

You: VOMIT 🤢

October 31st

6:07pm

You: [image attachment]

You: Mina.

You: look at his ARMS IN THAT SUIT

Mina: it’s bright yellow

You: HES CURIOUS GEORGE MAN

You: his little brothers the monkey

Mina: WAIT WHY IS THAT KINDA CUTE

You: IK

Mina: and he does look sexy in that button up

You: the tattoos🤤

Mina: love a man with a dark past 😍

You: god im so scared to see him

You: the concerts on the 10th

Mina: you’ll be okay babe Dw

October 31st

8:30pm

You: [image attachment]

You: it’s…. A full moon.. I feel myself… changing 🐺

Dabi: Woah

Dabi: You look hot

You: omg

You: thank u

Dabi: You’re pretty too

Dabi: R u wearing that to the concert

You: LOL NO

You: I haven’t decided yet

Dabi: U have to show me

Dabi: So I can find you

You: and how am I gonna find you

Dabi: You’ll find me

November 3rd

7:02pm

Dabi: [audio attachment]

Dabi: Listen please 😄

Dabi: What do you think

You: why r u acc good at this

You: I LOVE

You: yk it kinda sounds like LOV

You: I think you’ll like their music

Dabi: Girl I listen to them

You: GIRL???

You: sassy man apocalypse is alive and well

Dabi: Whos ur favourite band member

You: hmmmm

You: I like the drummer

You: himiko she’s so cute

You: but the bassist 🤤🤤🤤

You: Touya

You: need him in ways I can’t articulate over message 😳

You: uhm where did u go

You: did my thirsting freak u out

Dabi: No ur good

Dabi: I thought you’d like the guitarist

Dabi: Shiggy

Dabi: Every girl is obsessed with him

You: yeah but Touya is all emo kinda

You: I love it

November 8th

9:00pm

You: [image attachment]

You: fit check for the concert😜

Dabi: I love it

Dabi: Very Blue

Dabi: That’s my fav colour

You: that’s why I’m wearing it??

Dabi: Blushing rn 🤭

You: HAHA

November 10th

6:30 pm

You: On my way! now

You: tf

Dabi: Can’t wait to see you!

You: LOL SHUSH

You: im nervous

Dabi: Don’t be

Dabi: Im excited to see you

You: me too 😆

November 10th

6:50pm

Mina: be careful plz

Mina: there’s loads of people around but still

Mina: he could be a freak in disguise

You: I know babe Dw dw

You: I’ll keep u updated

Mina: good

Mina: r u gonna give him a biggggg fat smooch 🤤

You: SHUT UP

November 7th

7:00pm

You: are you here?

Dabi: Yeah

You: omg

You: im scared

Dabi: Lowkey same

Dabi: But im so manly and strong so im actually not scared

You: LOL

Dabi: Okay wait

Dabi: I need to tell you smth

You: is this u telling me the pedo allegations r true….

Dabi: Before we meet u need to know

You: yeah what’s up?

Dabi: Idk how to say this without u thinking I’m lying but

Dabi: I’m Touya

You: uh

You: what 😅

Dabi: I just didn’t wanna tell you because I thought you might like

Dabi: Idk people r so weird about it when they find out

Dabi: And I didn’t want you to just talk to me because of that

Dabi: Especially when I found out u listen to our music

Dabi: I’m sorry I never told u

Dabi: Y/N? You there?

You: yeah I just

You: slightly confused

You: idk how to tell if ur lying or not

Dabi: [image attachment]

Dabi: Theres the face reveal you’ve been after

You: what the sigma

You: okay

You: woah

You: so I’ve actually been dming a celebrity

Dabi: You prefer me or Harry styles

You: you deffo

You: but I think you knew that from my messages from before

Dabi: Yeah i remember

Dabi: Dw you can articulate all the ways you need me after the show

You: haahahahhahaha

You: 😁😁😁 okay

Dabi: I have smth for you though

You: you do?

Dabi: Yeah

Dabi: Go to the back door where that scary security guy is

Dabi: His name is Spinner

Dabi: Tell him Dabi sent you

You: OKAY

You: :((( THIS IS SO CUTE

Dabi: You like them?

You: I can’t believe u got me flowers 😢

You: thank you!!!

Dabi: That’s alright

Dabi: Okay I need to go warm up

Dabi: I’ll be looking for you in the crowd

You: I’ll be staring at you too

Dabi: I said looking

You: same diff

You: wait hold on

Touya: What?

You: nm nm

You: good luck for ur show 😆

Touya: Thanks babe

BONUS

November 7th

5:05pm

Touya: Toga

Touya: Toga

Touya: Toga

Touya: TOGAAAAA

Toga: WTF DO U WANT

Touya: If I was gonna get a girl flowers what should I get her

Toga: GASP GASP

Toga: WHO R U RIZZING UP

Touya: Literally fuck off never say that

Toga: is this that girl you’re always messaging

Toga: and smiling at ur phone 🥺🥺

Touya: Fuck off

Toga: IT ISSSSSS

Toga: IS SHE COMING TONIGHT

Touya: Yes

Toga: AHHSSHAHWHW

Toga: THIS IS SO EXCITING

Touya: I’m so happy ur having so so much fun

Toga: I so ammmmmm

Toga: but why don’t u ask her what she wants

Touya: It’s a surprise idiot

Toga: AWWWWWWWW

Toga: okay well if u wanna be so really romantic u could get her roses

Toga: or maybeee tulips or lillies

Toga: she’ll like whatevs u get her

Touya: Okay

Touya: Thanks

Toga: that’s okay lover boy 😍🥰

Touya: Kys

—————————————————————————-

THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE OH EM GEE but it lowkey took longer than I thought it would… but i hope u all enjoyed 😁😁

also y/ns messaging is literally just how I message.. I fear this is the most self indulgent fic I’ve ever written

[sameschmidtdiffname]

And now, for some shit ain't nobody asked for... *drumroll please...*

Fanboy Futturman Headcanons That Hardly Make Sense Unless You're Deranged

(because it's fun)

Tags: just rawdog it bruh, idk what this is. I got fucken murmed.

Notes: Special thanks to @luverstream for going insane with me. This list is based off of our oddly specific thread. Love you pookers <3

                        °☆>》¤●¤《<☆°

• 100% started writing fanfiction for 'Biotic Wars' because there was only two works in the whole fandom and they were both illiterate/ooc

• It started as a challenge because he likes writing as a hobby so he made a random account on Tumblr and wrote a one-shot from Tigers POV just for shits and giggles

• He didn't expect literally anyone to read it, maybe a couple notes

• Then around his lunch break the next day his phone won't. Stop. Dinging.

• Long story short, he ends up with an account with like. 1.1k followers

• Once he realizes he has a serious reader base, he takes his blog seriously

• He spends a weird amount of time perfectly curating his blogs aesthetic with mods and whatever extentions he can find

• Personally commissions other fans for his fanfic borders, proper gifs, etc. He has one fanfic actually illustrated for Kinktober and it stays at the top of the 'Biotic War' tags for months

• Speaking of Kinktober, literally will not make plans for October/late September because he knows he's gonna aim to post everyday

• Will stay up for days writing when he gets hyperfixated

• Hates posting short fics. If the number doesn't end with a .k he doesn't post it until it does

• Also has a bunch of Easter eggs from his favorite movies and such in his works as well

• Knows an insane amount of copywrite laws because he's had to deal with people illegally selling his works/uploading them on other platforms

• When he eventually gets a partner he initially lies and says he wanted to become a lawyer when he was a kid, thus why he knows so much

• That works for about 12 minutes before he finally breaks down and tells them the truth, then offers to show them his work because he's told literally no one in his personal life about it

• His partner eventually becomes his editor and co-author on certain works (mainly smut)

• Half the time when he's actively working on smut he's gotta stop midway to "test the accuracy" w/ said partner

• Writes OUTRAGEOUS smut that makes him unable to look in the mirror while he's writing it

• Deadass hides under his blankets in total darkness with tape over his computers camera because of the shame

• Has a collection of proofreaders/consultants because his first smut included cervix penetration and he got dragged by basically everyone on Tumblr for it

• Had a work get popular enough one time one of his friends sent it to him because they figured he'd get a kick out of it

• Which made him panic and stop writing for like a month to lay low

• Has a completely different Spotify account for writing because his mom uses his "normal" account even though he has a family plan (side note: they make little playlists for each other :))

• Has like 50 different playlists dedicated to his fics that's available for his readers to listen to

• The artists all range from Deftones to dodie depending on the work

• His top artist is Ayesha Erotica with 2000+ minutes spent on 'Yummy'

• (Also has an impossible amount of hours logged on said Spotify account)

• Has a whole panic attack when he leaves his phone in the 60s because he had a whole new chapter ready to publish in his 20 part hurt/no comfort/slowburn fic that was over 10.k words in his notes app

• Wolf finds his Ao3 account one time and becomes... concerningly obsessed with Futturmans work without realizing Futturman is the author

• It gets to the point Wolf will legit go on 30+ minute rants about the stories while Futturman is just hyperventilating in the corner because he doesn't know how long he can keep up the facade

• It gets worse when Wolf makes an account and starts actually commenting on the works

• However he ends up getting impressive tips from the rants and ends up incorporating his suggestions into his works

• Wolf never stops bragging about this

• His most popular work/series follows a female oc that originally started as a one-shot request for a oc x Wolf fic (which Wolf hates because he says it's OoC. Futturman does not agree nor care.) But ended up getting popular enough there's well over 20 parts

• At some point he, Wolf and Tiger get into a massive argument because he finds a bound copy of all of his works amongst their supplies and no one will confess who's it is and keep blaming each other

• (It's Tigers)

• When he gets to his final timeline he manages to get his all of his drafts back through Susan (who had a lot of questions, and was given no answers) and just publishes his work as an original series since Biotic Wars no longer exists

• "Orginial series" gets insanely popular and now he has like five burner accounts so he can read fanfiction of his own fanfiction

• Writes fanfiction for his own series purposely to fuck with the fanbase

• Usually will make it ooc but well written, but once in awhile comes up with a "headcanon" that will come true in his next book so he can watch the readers implode

• And last but not least

• He casts his other self in the final timeline as the male lead in the eventual movie adaptation. Because of course he would

(Bonus: in the OG timeline when Futturman ends up disappearing, his biggest series ends up never being finished, nor his blog updated. Leading to a weirdly thorough four hour video docuseries made by Wendigoon about the rise and disappearance of the mysterious author and how the 'Biotic Wars' fandom eventually finished the fic themselves and created their own spinoffs, leading the work to get more popular than 'Biotic Wars' ever was and like five different people falsely claiming they wrote it, only to be disproven within an insanely short amount of time. Yeah, kinda a full on My Immortal.)

                           >¤》○《¤<

Don't ask me what this was, I think I got possessed. Anyways, bon achoo sweet.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

               •▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

[delcakoo]

lovey emss,💙 i'm back I'm sorry I haven't updated you in a while. I forgot the last time I updated you, did I ask how you are feeling now?😭 (like if ur cold is gone I hope it is) anyway I'm not updated cause I'm so busy with school its draining. but on the bright side, on the end of this week we might go to an amusement park on thurs. idk whether to get my hopes up cause it doesn't happen or it doesn't really go as according to plan and it ends up disappointing me

but uh anyway um i have an update abt my hair getting cut I just couldn't tell you because I've been so busy these past few weeks😭 I got my haircut like at the start of nov and yeah I like it the bangs are a bit too thicc tho😔😍 so it's always tied up cause it gets annoying cause it gets on my eyes. but other than that I like it

oh and guess what. i've been getting motivation a lot because of a special someone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so yeah I feel much more alive studying cause they're there. we had A LOT of interactions as well. holding hands (🤭), hugging, were matching bracelets, and guess what they're Sunoo biased DJWBDJWKJDBKS. so we have matching pcs on the back of our id if that make sense. we went to go buy ice cream as well today hsdshd. I plan to borrow their hoodie tmrw 😙 I feel real guilty tho cause my unloyal ass said I'll only like Jungwon and nobody else and bs like "no one can fit my standards, unless you are Jungwon" like I'm so untruthful to myself. I feel guilty cause I've been loyal to Jungwon for a while (except that one time I told you abt my other crush if u still remember.. the one I moved on from) but I'm happy really happy with her. we don't really do anything besides (the skinship) and I'm contented with that. I want it to stay that way. I'm sorry Jungwon😔 (watch me go back to Jungwon after I get my heartbroken for the 239239229th time)

how are you? how's school? I hope you are well mentally and physically. i'm not updated so idk if your cold is gone now😭😭 what subjects do u find hard? for me its math, i need more focus on it. i'm bad at it😭 can you recommend a song you like for me to listen to? I'm wondering what type of songs you are into :DDD

(sorry for the long paragraph😭 forgive me this is the only time i've been appreciated that way)

-m💙

MOONIE DEAR HII! ive been busy w school too so dwdw i understand <3

YEP THATS THE LIFE WIRH BANGS SHJDHDN IT GETS SUPER ANNOYINF 😭 im glad u like it tho :000 it’s fun to style right?? (when it cooperates 🧍🧍)

OH MY GODDDD SHE SOUNDS AMAZING AISHJSNS AND SHES SUNOO BIASED ????? absolutely immediate yes THATS SO CUTE SHE LOVES ENHA TOO WTFFFF 😭 U GUYS NEEDS GET ALBUMS TOGETHER EJHDDKNEJEM IM JESLOUS RN OMG???? and its ojay if jungwon found out theyre sunoo biased he would definitely approve as well LMAO <33

ive been good ! YES I AM BETTER FROM MY COLD NOW MSHSJSN lifes been pretty bland for now but IM SO DAMN EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS N DECEMBER SJHDJDBAH I HOPE IT SNOWS SOON <333 and omg same, math AND SCIENCE BRUH UGH ITS SO HARD 😭😭 i reccomend watching vids on whatever u find hard, it can be rkly helpful sometimes :0

SONG RECCS AJHSSNSJSK OF CORUSE <333 i will listen to literallt anything but country and rock tbh,, I RECOMMEND EMAILS I CANT SEND BY SABRINA CARPENTER AND LIFE IS STILL GOING ON BY NCT DREAM :D LMK IF U ENJOY TSJHSJK

and aw :( dw ab it! im glad i can make u feel appreciated love 🥹🥹🥹 MWAH MWAHHH

[5tar9litter]

Things my mom said multiple times:

Partying:

“I don’t know why I don’t like it. I should like drinking and gambling. I should like talking to those thai girls even if they are hella rude. I should leave all of my kids alone at home while I go party past 12 at midnight. I guess I’m just weird like what they said. I don’t like talking to those people. They are so annoying, always boasting about how much money they make and then wasting it all away in the casino! Why don’t I like them? Why do I hate it so much??”

She’s said this exact topic at least 60 times this year of 2023. And I’d explain it’s because they are horrible ppl and it’s okay to have different hobbies from others. At least you are saving money, avoiding health risks, and just go find better ppl to be with. Plus I am the same way. I hate those ppl with the same passion but I just found better people who doesn't do those type of things.

Then she’d forget what I just said and start the same exact paragraph by next week or month.

And I start to interrupt when she is talking now because it’s annoying having them ask dumb ass questions esp if you just consulted them like 45x’s now. It’s just a waste of time and I noticed I’ve been either telling her she and I already talked about this or changing the subject completely.

Food:

“I wish we ate more sweets. As a family, nobody in this family likes it. I buy so much cookies, sodas, pizzas, apple pies, cakes, and candy but nobody eats all of it?”

I’d explain, “it’s too sweet. And there’s so much too. You buy like 26 apple pies and expect 4 of your kids to eat all of it in a week?? No thanks.”

“But why can’t we be like an american family? Why can’t we just eat all of the sweets like that?”

“But that’s why all of Americans are dying from cardiovascular diseases, Mom. Sweets kill u if you eat a lot, duh. What r u trying to do, kill us?”

“Haha, you are right but look at how good it looks.”

“Gross. It’s too sweet. Why did you buy so much sweets from the store again? You know 19 years of my life, none of us like cakes and stuff like that.”

“*attempts to eat all 26 apple pies by herself and stops eating by the 3rd apple pies* yuck! it’s so sweet! Why can’t I finish all of it?”

“Facepalms**”

SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AHHH. She knows we don't like sweets. Period. Yet she buys it all the time and always complains that we never eat it even though none of us wanted it. If we were like, "Mom can we buy these cupcakes?" then we don't eat all of it. Then that makes sense that she'd be mad. But she's actually encouraging us to eat unhealthy on a daily basis. Like do you know how much pizzas we've had delivered to house on the daily basis? 6 BOXES for 4 KIDS AHHHH

This behavior did start my brother's food addictions though. Because she would encourage us to eat all of this and they would finish all 5 or 6 boxes by themselves. Now my brothers are having heart problems and stomach issues. Bruh.

Family in laws:

"When you date or get married, you are gonna have to sacrifice your whole life to your man's parents. You have to clean and cook for them 24/7. You will become a slave to them. Dating is never fun. It's only miserable"

I just nod my head and act like I'm listening every time she says this.

My job

"You shouldn't go to college and get a job. Just open a business. I'll support you."

She doesn't even have enough money to buy me food. I have to work to pay for it. It's so annoying because my dad told me the same thing but he can't even pay the bills so he's always stressing out.

"You should start a Youtube channel."

I respond with, "No thank you. I hate filming stuff. I don't even post 1 picture on my other social media so what makes you think I wanna?"

"Just saying. It'd be a good start."

"Yeah yeah."

She brings up this same topic of me starting a Youtube channel another 30x.

"Why do you keep telling me this, Mom!?"

Usually, I end up getting really pissed off. I hate when I get mad at anybody including my mom but she has a weird habit of repeating herself.

She really wants me to fucking start a youtube channel. I did start one at some point but then I got busy with school or other things and it was really boring for me so I just stopped. But it annoys me that she doesn't understand that I don't like making youtube videos especially at the moment. In the future, I can see it happening but not now. She still keeps suggesting it.

Another thing that annoys me is that she always tell me that my job sucks.

It took me 6 months to get my job and I love it to death. Even if it's minimal pay: Around 16$/hr where I live.

My coworkers are so nice. My managers are so kind and patient with me. The customers are so good to me and they treat me like family. The job is easy and fun. Sometimes I get yelled at by customers because I work at retail and I need an ID from them in order for them to purchase the cigarettes. 97% of them are pretty compliant. So it's fast and easy and if they argue, my coworkers always back me up. They are so kind compared to my old job where I had no support. So, I am always happy to come to work because for someone in my position and history, especially with a tight schedule, this job is like paradise for me. So every time I have a small issue like customers being an idiot or me being hit on at work which is all the time, my mom would say my job sucks.

I call her out on it because at least I am working and you know, compared to my old job at Petco, it's actually really good for a college student. It's close by and easy and relaxes me even if there's small mishaps.

She says she just meant all of that work for 17/hr. I tell her, "For now, this is what I just gotta work with it. But it doesn't suck. I'm just really grateful I have a job.

Babies:

"Do not have babies when you are young." Valid.

Boyfriends

"No dating until you finish school and get a career."

"

Valid.

"You can only dress like that around your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only go watch movies or go out with your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only get a house when you get a boyfriend."

"When you get a boyfriend, you'll have someone to hang out with all the time."

"WHY DO YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND SO MUCH I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HAVING ONE?!!?"

Mom, ever since I was young. You instilled this mindset that I need a boyfriend to have freedom in life. You won't even let me go out without a guy accompanying me and every guy I am just friends with you think I am dating him. AHH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?

"OOoh, looks like you are ready for a boyfriend~" My mom would tease me all the time and at the same time she'd tell me, "No boyfriend! You are too young. Not until you are a doctor!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Casinos:

For 5 years, this is all she talks about. She hates it there with so much hatred that it's incomprehensible but she keeps coming back to work there. Her coworkers also got annoyed with how repetitive she can be and she's told me about this. They told her there's so much careers out there. Why does she keep coming back to the casino if she hates it so much then quits within 5 months??

This year in 2023. she just quit one casino and now she secretly applied to ANOTHER ONE this month in August and my dad found out and yelled at her. I remembered their argument. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOLD ME YOU'LL NEVER GO BACK AND YOU WENT AND APPLIED WITHOUT TELLING ME? YOU KNOW YOU ARE GONNA QUIT AGAIN. YOU DID THIS 5 TIMES ALREADY. WHY DON'T YOU LEARN? YOU CAN'T DO GRAVEYARD SHIFTS. YOU KNOW HOW SICK YOU GET WHEN DEALING PAST 3AM. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!" I understand my mom wants to work again but doesn't know any other way to make lots of money with just a high school degree. But I agree this can't be healthy. When the other casino she applied see that she just quit 5 other major(popular) casinos within 3 years. They are gonna reject her applications because they know she likes to apply then quit after 5 months.

New business plans:

"I should buy those asian plants and sell it on facebook!"

I encourage her. She's been talking about this for a year now.

"I should cook food and sell it on facebook marketplace like those thai girls!"

I encourage her alot for this because I think she'd do well. She's been talking about this for 2 years now.

"I should work in another job that isn't the casino." *never does so*

"I wanna open an asian fast food shop with a drive through. I never seen one here in America."

I encourage her.

"I want to be a real estate agent. *Continues to explain how much money she'd make and swears she'll finish the classes to get the certificate.*"

This convinced me and my dad that she would actually do it. My dad is really hard to convince so I was surprised he let her. My dad said he'd support her until she gets a degree which is supposed to take 6 months only. She paid $1000, took the class for 5 months, then quit with no refunds.

She told me it's because the professor said she won't be able to become a millionaire until a year later because the economy is rocky right now so nobody's buying houses right now especially with the interest rates being so high for them.

I understood it but I told her like at least finish the last month and just take the exam. You get to cheat too like they do not care at all. Like just get the certificate and get it over with.

She explains she don't have the confidence to finish it. So she never finish the class or the exam. She ended up wasting $1000 even though I offered to cheat for her. ITS LITERALLY AN OPENED BOOK TEST. THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY TOLD HER THE ANSWERS FOR THE EXAM SO IT LITERALLY IS JUST FILLING IN THE BLANK.

After she did that, I've lost all hopes for her bro.

I don't encourage her to start a business because she's always quit or never make action. But you know what did she do? She bought this asian plant and gave it to some random mien woman to profit off of her for free :D R u fucking kidding me? Mom, why. That was your money right there. U bought that plant to make money on facebook but instead you gave it to some random asian lady. She was pretty disappointed in herself as well.

She always talk about: her Nightmares, hair loss, unhealthy eating, nutritional deficiencies, walking at the park, how much she hates my dad and how dirty the house is.

I don't really care and actually respond to her about it.

Things my dad always say:

"Always invest your money!"

"Just take easier classes."

Yeah sure let me just not graduate college by not taking my required Biology: Anatomy and physiology and statistics classes.

"You have to graduate with a bachelor!!"

Also refuses to support my education**

"You are gonna be a millionaire!"

"Why am I such a loser?" My dad always says that to himself.

He brags about me alot especially about how I won 2cd place on a contest and ended up being interviewed on tv.

I luv my parents but omg they are so dumb.

[uncertaininnit]

Also if you ever worry about being too cringe or sappy I can and WILL be even MORE cringe and sappy on main <//3 this IS a competition (/j /silly /lh) (<--this is my way of encouraging you and telling you to post however much you want about your boyfriend. im strange like this)

Bruh if I go on and on about my bf I’ll go I’m on for hours I’ll go on for so long‼️‼️‼️ I won’t say everything but I will talk and talk

okayso he had never been in a serious relationship before (were in highschool) but I barely have either so it’s fine and you would never be able to tell with the way he rizzed me up. Like we were on a call and he had to hang up at 12 cause his mom is strict about that and we were on the subject of past crushes already for some reason and then it was like 11:56 and he wasn’t looking at the screen he was fidgeting and stuff and you could tell something was coming like the tension built up perfectly sonehow

I was like it’s 11:59 you better use your last minute wisely lol and he like waited a few seconds and then was like we should go roller skating. And earlier this week he asked me what my perfect day would be (so not subtle) and rollerskating was the big part of it so he really just put what he knew I wanted first and idk the moment was perfect the buildup and he was considerate about it

my last and only other serious relationship he had me GUESS WHO HE HAD A CRUSH ON 😭😭😭 so this is just leagues better

and i was so happy my response was not at all smooth but he got it. And he asked if he used his last minute wisely and I was like yeah I think you did

and then he had to hang up and I was like ❣️❣️❣️‼️❗️⁉️😁😁😁🫶🫶🫶 and i texted my friend who knew that I liked him

and we didn’t talk about it that night cause he had to go to sleep but all day at school today? Now technically yesterday but I’m going to say today. All day at school today we just smiled at each other and we have every class together (small weird magnet school so there’s not that many classes to have) so just all day we’re looking at each other and grinning at each other (SO FUCKIBG CRINEG)

I had those hypothetical butterflies all day I barely ate like at all. Pear for breakfast cafeteria fruit squares for lunch and some dominos garlic break bites and another pear for dinner. We talked pretty much all day after school and we worked things out like are we dating who are we telling and we both just complimented each other a bunch

he says I make him feel really warm when I’m around in a way that nobody else does which is aww obviously

he’s just so great he’s too good to be true. He’s like perfectly well rounded with playing soccer and loving it but he also liked coding and we’re at a school for STEM so yk. But he’s not an incel nerd like a lot of the guys here unfortunately are he’s just so great. He’s really sweet and always good to talk to. I always say that everybody at our school has one big huge red flag and he literally also thought this without me telling him about it 😭 but I can’t find his. He’s so mature he’s not a bigot (also common at this school) not a sexual assulter (my ex, it wasn’t me but it might’ve happened twice) not any of those things.

and when I started liking him and he seemed to be liking me back I was like I obviously have to tell him that I’m ace and I’ve got to get it over with so if he wants to run for the hills he can but I told him and he dodnt dismiss it like ‘you’ll want to have sex later’ or anything, he listened to me explain it and understood and has been asking all the right questions about attraction and what’s okay with me like he’s just being so considerate like he cares so much and idk why.

Like he’s sporty and smart and nice and fun and he really likes me and me? I bit someone today (longish story I bit his finger and he’s fine we’re pals)

Like I hope I keep making him feel warm for a long time because he’s such a diamond kn the rough of this school

[halfmoondaze]

reader is a singer who is with Jack and they do a song together like The away by Ariana Grande and Mac Miller and they perform it together for the first time

Y/N was currently heading to the studio at nighttime where she was going to meet Jack Harlow for the first time. He had written a song called “Cloud Nine” and reached out to you to record one of the verses and you happily agreed to it.

As you arrived at the studio, you spotted Jack in the parking lot waiting for you.

“Hey, how you doing?” he said as he reached for a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you” you hug him back.

“Thanks for doing this”

“My pleasure”

He led you inside and introduced you to the sound engineer, the producers, the writers and his manager.

“Can I offer you something to drink?” Jack asked you.

“Sure, what you've got?”

“Water, soda”

“Water is fine”

“You sure, because we got some exotic flavors in here”

Everyone started laughing in silence.

“What?”

“Y/N don't listen to him” his manager told you.

“What's going on?”

“I just wanted to offer you the delicacy that is ranch soda”

“Ranch soda?”

He nodded.

“Wanna try it?”

“Girl, don't do it” one of the writers says trying to contain his laughter.

“Sure, you don't have to unless you're chicken”

You scoffed in response and proceeded to take a big gulp of the drink which you immediately regret afterward.

“Why would you do this to yourself” you said.

Everyone started laughing.

You immediately grabbed a bottle of water and drank it until the taste disappeared from your mouth.

“Ok, you’re ready?”

“Yea”

“You can start whenever you’re ready” he said as he sat next to the sound engineer as you entered the recording booth.

You entered the booth and started singing your verse and once you finished you were surprised by their reaction indicating that it was good.

“Was that good? Do you want me to do something different?”

“No, that was perfect” Jack said smiling at you.

“Thanks” you blushed.

“Hey, do you wanna hang around?”

You were taken back by his question, but you nod in response.

You guys stayed there hanging out for a few hours just joking around with one another and getting to know each other. That was until your manager who seemed more excited than you, to be around Jack, took a picture of the both of you sitting on the couch and later send it to you.

“I think you should post this on your Instagram, I think it would be funny”

“I think your phone would go crazy if I do that”

“Lucky for you I don’t clear up rumors”

He posted the picture with no caption, and everyone lost their minds over a possible collaboration between the two of you.

Afterward, you and Jack remained in touch only through communicating through texts because of your busy schedules. But later, you and Jack were offered to debut “Cloud Nine” at the VMAs and you were more than excited.

The VMAs

Jack started rapping and everyone and the crowd was vibing with him as they bop their heads as they listened to the song. Then in the middle of the song, you stepped onto the stage and the crowd went wild. The chemistry between the both of you was undeniable as the both of you couldn’t stop swooning over one another.

And it was safe to say it was one of the highlights of the award ceremony as it was the current topic of discussion on Twitter.

Oh damn this had me blushingg

It looks like they are performing to each other, nobody else in the room, how cute

Find someone that looks at you the way these two look at each other

Bruh the energy between these two

“So can I take you out sometime?” Jack asked as he approached you backstage after your performance.

“Sure, when are you free?”

“How about right now?”

“Like, now? Aren’t you going to stay for the rest of the ceremony?”

“Nah, too boring”

You laughed at his lack of filter.

“So what did you have in mind?”

“Let me take you out on a date”

“Ok, sounds good”

The following morning, Instagram was buzzing, as Jack and Y/N had confirmed your relationship status.

liked by yourinstagram, finneas and 2,958,583 others

jackharlow: what can i say...she got my heart on a chokehold

view all 12,583 comments

jhfan1 Omg what

bellahadidMy sweet angels 😭❤️

jhfan 2 parents

jhfan 3 this is so cute I canttttt

jhfan 4 YESSSS

jhfan 5 AHHHHHH CRYING

[barbararomance]

the accident, quackity!

synopsis! "and you know.. damn well, for you i would ruin myself.. a million little times." PAIN, MENTIONS OF KYS, HATE, STAN SLANDER, CC BEING BASHED FOR HAVING AN S/O, BE SAFE READING THIS IT LOWKEY DONT MAKE SENSE BUT ENJOY ILYSM

read me! likes, feedbacks, and especially reblogs are highly appreciated; come talk to me if you wanna repost my writings on other sites please. this is truly fictional, nobody should be harassed just because they love someone - if any of your fav cc ever fall inlove do support them <33 - this is just for the angst lovers and i, barbararomance loves u sm // leave a request here!

word count! 0.5k

you scrolled through your twitter feed using a private account and admired all the praise your boyfriend, quackity. gets from all his fans, you knew well he deserved each and every words of appreciation and admiration. he was currently lounging close by, possibly preparing for a stream. "hey babe, could you come help me real quick!" he called out and you quickly headed to his direction, you see he was struggling with setting up a few things making you chuckle "you should know this already, you kidding me?" you tease him. quackity pretended to be offended and you both burst into a fit of laughter together. "there you go, don't make a mess and have fun!" you say before sharing a good luck kiss with him. headed back to your phone, you felt uneasy. it was also hearable that your boyfriend was.. panicking? you were gonna head to where he was to check if he was alright but a notification popped up on your phone capturing your attention. it was a bunch of private messages... @/alexsversion: you're dating quackity?? @/mcytenjoyer420: bruh you're too ugly for quackity LEAVE KARLS HUSBAND ALONE @/quackityhqrealgf: hey didn't know i had an impostor @/gaggingondik: leave alex alone he's literally out of your league @/dweamygwoggy: literally kys

this was impossible, the two of you were absolutely careful. you closed your phone, wishing no longer to see the compilation of hurtful words his "fans" were spamming your main account. you headed to him and he was indeed talking to chat, you noticed he was nervously talking about.. you. he was publicly announcing his relationship.. with you.. no. he was so uncomfortable with it, he wasn't ready to show you to the world because he just wanted it to be the you two.. he just wanted you. you pulled up his stream silently while listening to him live, you read the chat and many of them were not too happy.. jealous.. angry.. barely anyone was supportive. @/getkrissedbozo: pls alex we know you don't get bitches @/quackitystan69: NOOOOOOOOO PLS SAY ITS A PRANK @/toofbruhsh: she kinda ugly for you @/karlnapitytruther: YOU CHEATING ON KARL AND SAPNAP WTF "yes i do have a girlfriend.. and i love her very much.." you looked at him heartbroken, it was a very beautiful moment of honesty. you watch him quickly end the stream and fall down on his knees in fear. you rushed to him and held him, you carefully brushed his hair and looked at him with worry.. "you didn't have to do that.. what happened?" you ask in a calm voice.. "i'm sorry y/n.. i accidentally started the stream when i asked for your help.. i panicked.. i told them about you.. i'm sorry.. i really wanted it to be more special.. i'm really sorry it had to be this way.. i'm sorr-" you kissed him to stop his worries. "don't be sorry alex, it's gonna be okay. we'll be okay.." you cooed as your foreheads touched in a loving second. "y/n.. espero que sepas que me arruinaría por ti. un millón de pequeñas veces."

[onthecourtbugs]

S-O-F-T (Part 2)

Pairing: Jason x Reader

A/N: Continuation to this here. Jason thought just cuz it’s been a while that I forgot about him. 😏 nahhh I’m back in my stomping grounds now!

Summary: Jason just don’t know what he talking bout.

——-

Jason Silver ain’t got no room to talk about Nash no more, okay?

Yelling to the rooftops that ain’t no pair o legs gonna snag him. 💀

Boy hush.

Granted, for a while it seemed like he actually meant that. 🥶

He was with a different girl all the time.

Just checking them out like books and the returning them with dog-eared pages and broken hearts.

He didn’t care.

They’ll be aight, they could find them a man easy.

Just wasn’t gone be him!

Nash wanted to do some next level Shakespearean stuff for his girl, but he doing that by himself.

Booty was definitely on the table.

Relationships? Decidedly off the table.

Just your everyday bachelor, am I right? Ain’t no pair o legs gone get ole Jay Jay. 😤😤😤😤😤

Except…

……Huh.

Something ain’t been exactly, precisely adding up with him…

2 + 2 ain’t been exactly equaling 4.

3 + 3 ain’t been precisely equaling 17.

In short, Jason ain’t been hoe-ing.

Oh, he’s still been going out to the metaphorical library of ladies and browsing with the fellas. But he ain’t checked out not one book since…. Hell, even Nash don’t remember.

And that’s because of you.

——-

Nash nosy self leaning over to peek at Jason phone after practice cuz when has he ever been on the phone after practice? “Who is that you’re texting?”

-scoots away- “Watch out bro.”

Now he knew something was up cuz Jason tryna hide it. 👀

“It’s a girl isn’t it?!”

“Nobody bruh, get off my phone.”

Knowing good and well you ain’t just nobody.

Nobody doesn’t get a key to his house and permission to hang around when he ain’t there.

Nobody can’t just walk in on practice cuz she left something in his car.

Nobody does not have permission to borrow said car anytime hers was in the shop.

The Jabberwocks don’t bother to remember nobody’s first and last name.

Nobody don’t got Jason running around Walmart because she’s sick with the sniffles and ran out of vegetable soup, but she doesn’t want more veggie soup, she wants CHICKEN NOODLES.

Nobody isn’t introduced to his mom and told to call her “Mom Dee.”

Heheee, when I tell you Nash stopped in the middle of the sidewalk when you casually brought her up?

Had the man staring straight down at you like you were some newly discovered species.

“Wait wait wait, you’re telling me you met her?”

“Yeah, she invited me over for Thanksgiving!” ☺️

Nash ain’t never look at Jason the same…

Mainly because if he did look, he’d start laughing at him.

——-

He sat up there in Dee’s living room during Thanksgiving teasing Jason while they played Mario Kart with the littler cousins 😂

“Better get to studying, Simp 101 starts this semester~”

“Mannn shut up!”

“You do know that your mom will be pissed if you don’t marry Y/n, don’t you?”

“Anyway!” -leans back to see if his mom listening- “She ain’t gone do nothing!”

-from somewhere back in the kitchen- “You betta marry that gal! You come up in here with anybody else IMMA WHIP YOU, YOU HEAR ME JASON?!!!”

“Now how you gonna tell me how to live my life?!”

“DON’T PLAY WIT ME BOY, I CAN END YO LIFE!”

Nash had to pass his controller to the nearest child cuz he fell out. 🤣🤣🤣

What did he just say?! Didn’t he tell him?!

You had your hand over your mouth in the kitchen the whole time cuz Mom Dee didn’t have to threaten him like that 💀

——-

No really, she had nothing to worry about. Jason ain’t going nowhere.

Cuz he a hypocrite.

He’ll eat up all your food then complain when he has to share his.

Hugs are for booty grabbing, or at least that’s what he SAID was the case.

In reality, he’ll just stand there while while you reach up to scratch his back with juuust the right amount of pressure.

Makes him shiver. 😩

He be the first one to whine about you pooting but will mercilessly CRIPPLE YOU with his mustard gas farts and he can’t say it ain’t that bad cuz he be running from it too 💀

He poked fun at Nash’s undying devotion to his girl but honestly? Jason ain’t stepped out on you either, even though there were and still are plenty of opportunities to do so.

Jason got mad when Nash started to occasionally skip out on guys night, but I’m pulling up a few new absences on his report card as well 🧐

He called Nash a simp? That’s funny Jason, but at least Nash can sleep without his girl, you caint, so go take a seat right next to your friend. -insert chair scooting noises- 🪑🪑

Acting like it’s a nuisance to have to keep up with your events but shows up to support you.

Arguing with you but not letting you sleep separately.

Loves to say you get on his nerves but don’t want you gone for too long.

Pushing 60 mph in a 55 zone to come get you after you called and told him you got hit in the back by another car and you needed him to pick you up 💀

Oh. Wait. There ain’t no buts about that last one, you just scared the hell out of him and he was in a rush. (You weren’t hurt, but the back of your car looked like a monster took a bite out of it 💀)

He be complaining bout cuddling too but that was an easy lie to catch because every dang night he’ll lay there with you, letting his hand roam over your rib cage, dip down your side, then slide up to rest on your hip over and over... You’d be wondering where he was going to go with it, but he just falls asleep curved behind you, one hand around your waist and the other spread on your stomach.

And then you’d lay awake a little longer, pondering how Jason could talk so rough like he does, but then touch you as if he were handling porcelain.

He was so full of contradictions when it came to his emotions, it made you dizzy to look back and forth between what he says and what he actually does.

You got one thing straight tho.

He loved you.

It don’t matter what that nighuh say.

——-

Heheheeee, Jason checked his texts one morning and saw he got one from Nash the night before.

‘I bet you went and snuck off to be with Y/n. And on the one night I was trying to hang 😑.’

Did I mention it was guys night yesterday and Jason played hooky? 😁

He was about to tell Nash to stop crying bout it but he got a new message.

‘Bring your soft ass outside Romeo, we got work to do 😂’

Jason sucked his teeth and tossed his phone over his shoulder.

“Punch him in his mouth… I ain’t soft nothing!”

And then rolled right over to sling his arm around you and give you kisses between your shoulder blades.

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!” OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[ranhaitanisgf]

;; 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖙

otherwise read as: bennett has a crush 

--

❧ masterlist

The side of your face was smushed on the table, a bored look on your face as you watched Sara serve customers at the Good Hunter.

"Ugh...I'm so tired..." You closed your eyes, thinking of things you might be able to do, but ultimately coming up with nothing.

"Hey! Watch out!" Not a moment later after the words were yelled, a searing liquid spilled on your shoulders, making you sit straight up as you squirmed, trying to get your shirt to separate from your back.

" Hot hot hot hot!!" You whispered, looking around to see what had happened. Looking up, you saw Sara staring at you with a surprised and slightly horrified look, an empty soup bowl in her hands. It looked as if she was about to say something, but before she could, something cold spilled onto your back, splashing onto your hair and the rest of your clothes.

"What the..."

"Sorry! Um..." You turned around in your seat and saw Eury behind you, standing there with a now empty glass pointed in your direction.

"Oh my Archons, I'm so sorry (Y/N)! Are you alright!?" Sara said in a panicked voice, trying to vigorously wipe off your shoulders with a rag. Wincing, you waved her off, a pained smile on your face from the towel rubbing against the tender skin.

"Ah, it's fine Sara, really, no worries!" You gave her a thumbs-up, although it did nothing to ease the panic off her face.

"I-I'll give you a meal, on the house! Two free meals! Come by whenever, just please don't tell anyone about this!" She begged, almost about to get on her knees and beg.

"It's fine, I'm not gonna go talking to all of Teyvat about it, it's no biggie. I'm gonna go change my clothes though..." You stood up from your seat, waving at her before heading to the Adventurer's Guild, sighing as you looked at your clothes.

Man, and I really liked these too...hopefully it doesn't stain with Cream Stew for eternity...

Bad luck has always followed you wherever you've gone, whether it was slipping on a rock or having an entire camp of Fatui Skirmishers attack you while you were asleep. It was non-stop, so you weren't exactly shocked that something had happened in the short amount of time you had been sitting at the Good Hunter.

There was only one solution to your luck; cancel it out.

"Hey (Y/N), is that you?" An enthusiastic voice called out. A small smile appeared on your face as you waved to the figure running towards you from the direction of the Guild.

"Yeah, hey Bennett." Waving at him, he ran up to you looking like he was about to say something, but then he noticed the mess on your shoulders.

"What happened to your shirt?" You laughed nervously, looking to the side.

"Oh, Sara accidentally spilled some Cream Stew, y'know? That's all!" He looked at you curiously and swiped from some of the soup that was still on your shirt with his finger, tasting it. A slight flush filled your cheeks, as you stared at him in disbelief.

"H-Huh!? Bennett, what're you doing!?" He just gave a big goofy smile and grabbed your hand to start pulling you towards the Guild.

"Well, now that I'm here, nothing else will happen! Also, that stew is still pretty good!" You didn't say anything, attempting to keep calm as you tried to keep up with his fast pace.

The boy looked over towards a nearby windmill, seeing Captain Kaeya salute him with two fingers before striding off towards the Knights of Favonius HQ. His hand slightly tightened it's grip around yours, sudden nervousness making him almost hesitate.

C'mon Bennett, you got this! No hesitating!

Before you knew it, he had dragged you to a patch of grass behind the Guild, where a picnic table had been set up with an array of sweets and snacks.

"Surprise! Fischl told me the other day the adventure you guys went on didn't go exactly as planned because I was gone, so I decided to make it up to you! I, uh, hope you like it!" He said, his hand resting on the nape of his neck.

You didn't even know what to say. Nobody had ever done such a grand gesture towards you before, so it felt surreal, especially since it was coming from Bennett.

"I-! Um, thank you! You really didn't have to though!" You noticed that he was still holding onto your hand with a tight grip, though you weren't sure if it was intentional or not. Your opposite hand rested on your cheek, trying to hold yourself together and not completely fangirl right in front of him.

The two of you sat down, and you inwardly groaned when he let go of your hand, a mumbled apology coming out his mouth accompanied by awkward coughing. A few moments went by before he spoke.

"Well, dig in (Y/N)! It's all yours y'know!" You didn't even know where to start with everything. It seemed that he had put out all of your favorite desserts, and it looked like Razor helped him too by the look of the hashbrowns.

"Ah, okay!" You decided to start off with the Almond Tofu, because who doesn't love it? As soon as you put it in your mouth, the taste was like nothing you had ever had before, and you immediately turned to Bennett.

"This! This is so good! How did you make it!?"

"Oh, is it really that good? I had the Traveler help me with it, and I'll tell you, he is a master cook! I would never have expected it! Here, wait, try this!" You figured that he was just going to point out what to eat, but instead, he grabbed a forkful of cake and held it out to you.

While he might have looked calm and cheery, he was inwardly freaking out.

What if she thinks I'm weird!?  If this plan backfires on me I'm moving to Sumeru and I will never step foot in Mondstadt again.

His heart was pounding as he saw a confused look on your face. The realization probably dawned on you after that, especially when one could plainly see the flushed look on your face as you realized.

Hesitantly, you opened your mouth and ate the cake on the fork that he held out, chewing thoughtfully before your eyes widened at him.

"BENNETT!!"

"Uh, yeah...?"

"THIS IS SO GOOD!" The tips of his ears were burning red from the adorable look on your face, and he had to cover the bottom half of his face with his hand as he could feel the red get more and more intense.

"(Y/N)!" You looked up from the cake that you were pigging out on, a look on your face like you had been caught doing something you shouldn't have.

"Uhhhhhh...yeah?" You slowly started moving your forkful of cake towards your mouth as you waited for his answer.

"Listen! I-! I really, really like you! A-And it's fine if you don't feel the same, I just wanted to tell you because I don't like keeping secrets from my friends and I think I made it awkward now so I'm just gonna-mmph!?"  Instead, you shoved the forkful of cake into his mouth, looking away with a furious blush on your face.

"Just shut up okay! Of course, I like you too, why wouldn't I!? So, um!" He looked at you with an incredulous look in his eyes as he chewed the cake, but you just so happened to notice that there was some frosting on his lip.

Yolo it bruh, don't be a coward.

Leaning closer, you swiped your thumb across his lip, collecting the frosting and tasting it as your heart pounded.

"Hmm...still tastes good!" Bennett didn't say anything, he just stared at you, and you started to get nervous and were about to apologize for your actions.

Suddenly, his hand slipped behind your head, pulling you close, but he paused right before his lips could touch yours.

"Um, can I kiss you?" (consent asking king, this is canon, he asks for consent)

"Y-Yeah!!" Not a moment later, he touched his lips to yours. It was a warm kiss, almost as if you were in front of a fireplace, and the way you gently moved his lips in sync with yours felt like you were home.

When the two of you pulled away, you hesitantly leaned your head on his chest, and hearing his accelerated heartbeat made you giggle a little bit.

"H-Hey, what's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing Bennett...just very happy."

~~

[cotccotc]

┈┈ 𝐬𝐤𝐳 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 *:･ﾟ

✩ ot8 reaction headcannon, 2.5k words (eek sorry)

✩ genre/s: **fluff**, humor, established relationship, ot8 x gender neutral!reader

✩ warning/s: MOBILE TUMBLR HATES ME (some gifs & author’s note might not appear),,,, my terrible sense of humor/commentary, a couple of them are suggestive if you  s q u i n t

✩ a/n: idk if the concept makes any sense but it does in my mind \_( ‘-’ )_/ also seungmin’s part is the exact same kinda similar to a brief scenario in my txt soobin “brightest blue” fic... but it’s fineee. also i’m sorry that some are longer than others! enjoy :))

chan:

chan is definitely extremely interested in the music you listen to.

in fact, sometimes he’d probably insist that you show him your current playlist from start to finish lol.

i can imagine y’all hanging out at the dorms, maybe even mid-cuddle, listening to some of your recent favorites.

but there’s this ONE SONG--

your absolute JAM

you get up from your seat or the bed and start completely jamming out.

he stays where he is so he can watch you have the time of your life.

i guess nobody told him you’re a professional lip syncer… awk...

you grab a hairbrush and hold it up like it’s a microphone.

honestly you’re thriving,,

he’s kinda stunned. not in a bad way, but he’s just so mezmorized by how cute (and maybe a lil sexy) you are when you dance like no one’s watching.

there’s a particularly awesome beat drop toward the end of the song, which leads you to do some equally awesome head banging.

he’s cackling at this point, which drives you to act even sillier.

*ending pose*

once the song ends and you’re trying to catch your breath, he slowly starts clapping for you.

“the song was great, but the performance was even better,” he’d say, coming off a bit sarcastic. but he means well!

you start to get a bit self-conscious and shy as you put yourself together again.

he’ll try to comfort you, standing up to wrap you in a hug.

“don’t be embarrassed!” (cue soft chan),

“baby that was awesome”,

“you should join a rock band!”, etc.

overall, he’d love it when you share your music taste, and this event will probably set off a chain reaction of similar jam sessions in the future.

minho:

ok so we all know minho’s a cat person, blah blah blah...

but what if you got super excited about a really cute dog?

let’s say you’re on a walk at a park, holding hands, and talking.

all of a sudden you see someone walking their dog…

and when i tell you this is the cutest, tiniest dog on the face of the earth,,,

you immediately stop walking and squeeze minho’s hand. you point to the dog and start freaking out because it’s so cute.

he’d say something silly like, “what are you talking about? it looks like a rat.”

you disregard it because you’re just so excited about this puppy!

“can we pet it?” you ask.

“... fine” he replies, smiling at you, despite his attempts to act uninterested.

y’all go over to the woman walking her dog and ask if you can pet the puppy. when she says you can pet him, you immediately sit on the ground, ready to have the best puppy playdate of your life.

minho’s still standing, watching you with loving eyes.

of course, you start talking to the puppy as if he’s a baby. minho laughs, trying to stifle all the uwus emanating from his heart

the puppy climbs onto your lap and licks your face just a little bit.

you look up at minho with wide eyes, saying “awww, isn’t he so cute!”

he’d playfully roll his eyes because why would he cheat on cats like that…

then you tug on his hand, motioning for him to sit with you. he does, reluctantly.

you place the puppy on his lap to see what happens.

the dog loves him! (of course, because what living thing wouldn’t love lee minho?)

the puppy is licking minho all over as he makes faces of disgust and struggles to pull him away.

you laugh out loud, happier than ever at the two very good boys in front of you.

he smiles again, completely endeared with your excitement despite being covered in puppy spit...

so, it doesn’t matter what kinds of animals you two prefer, since you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. (aww)

changbin:

i feel like changbin is the type to not be ashamed of/shy about showing you the songs he’s writing.

...except for right now.

he just got home from the studio, dropping his bag onto a table… but some papers fall out.

you attempt to grab the papers, but changbin stops you and grabs them himself instead with a subtle hint of nervousness.

pretty suspicious if you ask me.

“what’s up?” you ask, a bit confused about what just happened.

he’d try to play it off like nothing suspicious was going on, but you know his poker face.

it’s too cute not to notice.

he likes to play all tough but you (and everyone else tbh) know him better than that.

you go to grab the papers, but he steps away. you try again… and again, and again, and again.

you become increasingly more frustrated and impatient with each attempt, until changbin holds them up high in the air where you can’t reach them. he has a look on his face that says ‘haha! gotcha!’

you’ve never done this much jumping in your life.

but you’re not a quitter.

“okay… i give up,” you say, returning to a stationary position and placing your arms around his neck.

however, just as he lowers his hands to your waist, you snatch the papers!

“AHA!” you exclaim.

all he can say is “damn it!” as you scramble to the couch with the papers in your hand. you sit facing away from him, attempting to speed-read the lyrics sprawled across the pages.

he follows you to the couch, trying to take the papers back from behind.

“binnie, these are so good!!”

“thanks… but were they worth betraying your innocent boyfriend?”

“yes. every word.” you finally hand him back the papers with a smirk.

he’d curse under his breath, ditching the papers in favor of tickling you instead.

what a terrible punishment!

hyunjin:

we all know hyunjin is a drama queen,,

you can be a bit of a dramatic person yourself (who isn’t?).

so when you lose your favorite sweater, you’re immediately going on a wild goose chase around the dorms, because that’s where you had it last.

you’re practically talking to yourself. double checking everywhere you’d been. retracing your steps like a mad person.

you need this sweater!!

you let out a little “urgh!” as you begin getting frustrated.

hyunjin would ask what’s wrong, and when you tell him, he’d GASP.

he’d be like:

“have you checked under the bed?”

“the couch?”

“what about over here?”

“over there?”

this boy will not REST until the sweater is back in your possession, wasting no time in matching your level of concern/dramatics...

… if not exceeding it.

y’all have practically torn the whole room apart at this point.

until finally, you find it in a random drawer (of course smh)

“I FOUND IT!” you’d exclaim, flopping onto the bed and putting the sweater on,

to which you’d receive a “YAY!” in return

tired and leaning against a wall, he’d say something like, “thank GOD! now, why do you need it so bad?”

and you’d simply and softly respond, “... i got chilly~”

he wouldn’t give a verbal response, but his face would go from relaxed to ‘bruh’.

you knew he’d be shocked at your statement, but you choose to tease him instead with a smile.

he would then opt to tackle you in the bed, fumbling with the covers and vowing to make you as warm as humanly possible.

jisung:

jisung definitely loves showing you the music he’s been working on, just like changbin.

except… this time, the lyrics aren’t necessarily what you’re used to hearing.

you can tell jisung’s a bit nervous as he presses play, choosing to keep his eyes on the floor as he nods his head to the rap.

you’re listening intently, as curious and excited as you are every other time…

but then you realize that it’s about you……

the lyrics talk about letting someone into his life and his longing to be even closer to that person than he is now.

therefore,,,,   u w u

you giggle, which prompts him to look up at you almost immediately with anticipation about your reaction.

you decide to wait until the end of the song to react, but you can already feel the excitement bubbling up inside of you.

the song ends, and you’re sitting in silence alongside jisung. “so… what did you think?”

“well… i think…” you trail off, looking into jisung’s eyes.

with a bit of a squeal you leap up from your seat and essentially attack him.

you straddle his legs (don’t get any *ideas* this is FLUFF for goodness sake) and wrap your arms around his neck, locking him into a big hug.

“i love it, baby. so, so, so, much,” you respond quickly and genuinely.

he laughs, his arms wrapping around you.

he’d probably remark, “you scared me for a second!”

you laugh in response, apologizing for your delayed reaction.

deep down, he’d feel so relieved that you liked the song and its sentiment.

he’d also be so happy to have you, his overexcited sweetheart, in his arms.

however, at the surface, he’d prefer to tease you. “next time, don’t make me wait so long!”

felix:

ok so y’all send memes and tik toks back and forth all day every day. it’s just protocal.

also,,, you could literally be in the same room, and he’d still just start sending you tik toks he’d saved just to send to you and see your reaction.

but there’s this   o n e

you can’t quite explain why but when you watch the tik tok that your boyfriend sent you from across the couch, you laugh harder than you’ve ever laughed before.

whatever humor you may have, this tik tok completely encompasses it in a beautiful, stupid way.

before you know it, you begin cackling.

felix knows that you’ve always been a bit embarrassed of your laugh (who isn’t, right?), so when you start letting loose he’s a bit caught off guard.

still, he joins in (at a smaller scale, of couse).

he always wants to see you happy, but this is a whole new level of cuteness in his eyes.

your laughter subsides a bit...

until you decide to watch the tik tok again.

believe it or not, it’s even funnier the second time!

you double over, laughing so hard that no sound is even coming out of your mouth.

“are you okay?!” he’d ask, laughing harder now at your actions.

he’d put his arms around you so he could hold you up.

you’d mouth out a “no” in response.

there are practically tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

he’d continue looking down at you with a beaming smile, holding you up until your laughter comes to a full stop.

“was it really that funny? i can’t even make you laugh like this.”

you’re almost dazed, your stomach hurting (in the best way possible). you try to steady your breathing.

after a few seconds of recovery, he’d whisper in your ear with a deep, silly voice...

“...wanna watch it again?”

it’s safe to say you won’t fully recover for a while.

seungmin:

on days off, you watch dramas with seungmin to take both of your minds off of work/school/whatever’s been keeping you busy.

however… of course you can’t go a whole episode without laughing hysterically, and it’s all because of seungmin.

it could be the most dramatic, intense, or heartbreaking scene in the show but he would make it into a full blown impersonation comedy routine.

ESPECIALLY if the drama is in a foreign language.

this boy will reinact all of the subs in the stupidest way possible.

but, today he’s a bit exhausted, snuggling up against you and not saying much.

our boys work too hard :((   (but wbk)

...so you decide to take his place.

you start off kind of hesitantly, waiting to see if he’d even react. when the main characters start to have an argument, you begin reading the subtitles in a silly voice.

you hear a soft giggle from your boyfriend has be tightens his arm’s grip around your waist.

you begin to use different voices for each of the two characters, alternating between a nasly, high pitched one and a lower one with voice cracks. this makes seungmin laugh harder, going from a giggle to his usual open-mouthed chuckle.

he’s so cute >_< ,,anyways…

as the scene intensifies, so does the volume of your impersonations.

“yOu’Ve bEtRaYeD mE!”

“BuT yOu LiEd tO mE!”

at this point seungmin is cackling despite his heavy eyes and unwillingness to move. he’d be so caught up in your routine that he’d forget he was even tired.

you look up at him to see that big smile and those sparkly eyes you love so much, which motivates you to be even goofier!

you sit up, leaving seungmin’s grasp. you begin making hand gestures to match your overdramatic tone.

the scene comes to a climax, in which you recite the final line with more ferver and fake passion than ever before. you finish it off with a fist in the air for ~emphasis~.

as you hold this pose, you hear your loyal audience member begin to cheer for you. he claps, whisper-shouting “ahh” to create fake crowd noises.

“what a show!” he would commend you with an expression of sarcastic awe on his face.

you’re really glad you decided to cheer him up…

but not nearly as glad as he is to have you with him on a day like this.

jeongin:

jeongin’s smile could literally melt anyone’s heart. everybody knows this.

i don’t care who you are, if you see jeongin smile, you either smile or cry and there are no other options.

i don’t make the rules.

so, when he shows you the ‘lovestay’ version of his latest dance practice, you’re bound to go insane with adoration.

as soon as his solo comes up and the camera zooms in on his sweet, smiling face, you give his cheek a little poke

you say, “that’s you!”

“shut up,” he’d respond, giggling.

“wait, i missed something,” you say with a sense of urgency. you take the phone from his hands, rewinding a few seconds.

he’d roll his eyes at you, getting a bit shy.

you resume the video until the boy in the video holds up a finger heart, at which point you press pause.

“look how cute!” you exclaim, looking up at jeongin and pointing back and forth between him and the screen.

“stop it!” he’s blushing (and you’re screaming internally at how cute he is) as he tries to refrain from making a big smile.

you poke his side, resulting in a small fit of laughter that forces his bright grin to peek out.

he swats your hand away, putting his arm around you

(partly to show his affection and partly to make you hold still)

you place your head onto his shoulder, resuming the video for the final time. “you’re too cute. i can’t help it.”

“but you’re the cutest...” he murmurs, almost inaudibly to someone who isn’t as close to him as you are now.

heat rises in your face.

you: “...stop…”

him: “hah!”

touché...

©️ cotccotc 2020 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[mcyt-transcribed]

transcript of “where I've been”

TW for discussion of cancer and Covid-19

 Here’s the Google Doc link or you can click on the read more.

Techno: Yo, Technoblade here with another upload, oh my God I can’t believe it. We’re back, we’re playing Bedwars, uh, I don’t know why I said that in the present tense because I actually recorded these Bedwars games a few days ago. I have- I’ve played like, almost no Bedwars since the win streak, which was like, I dunno, years ago - so, you know, forgive me if I’m a little rusty. These are literally just the first three games of Bedwars I played, recorded them, and then just threw them in this background footage because, you know, I like live commentaries a lot, but I feel like sometimes, when you have a topic to talk about, having to play a video game simultaneously can sorta- it can sorta detract from the commentary, you know?

But before that: a plushie commercial filmed on my iPhone.

We got the first one - it’s Technoblade. He’s in a flying pose. He’s flying to save some civilians or he’s falling flat on his face. Depends on who you ask. Alright. We got the- We got Technoblade. He’s sitting down. He’s- He’s seated. He’s seated. It’s incredibly exciting. Uh, we got- we got Technoblade but he’s- he’s a giant- he’s a gigantic pillow. It’s Technopillow. This is actually- This is actually really- This is really soft. You’re gonna have to take my word for it.

These plushies go on sale on September 3rd at 3 PM EST at youtooz.com. The last ones sold out in around eight hours, so be prepared. I mean, one of them was like, two minutes but ehhh, it’s not happening again.

So where has Technoblade been? I know I’ve been gone since like, June. I was actually being really productive in July, which I know you guys are gonna- You’re not gonna believe me when I say that because I made no content. But I was! I was, you gotta believe me, okay? I was getting so much work done IRL; I was like, filling out paperwork, making business moves, working on merchandise, buying new equipment to make new videos. ‘Cause I really wanted- I really wanted to increase the rate at which I was making videos, ‘cause I kinda spent- You know, I kinda spent like, all this time becoming a famous YouTube and then instantly like, stopped uploading. Which, I mean, to be fair, I guess that started more in like 2018. So, that’s more just a pattern now.

 But I figured, you know, this whole thing where I go two- you know, one or two months without uploading- I don’t want that to be me, man. I wanna be uploading at least once per week. So I spent a lot of time preparing to do that. And the plan was that I would start doing that in August, but I took a- It didn’t- It’s, uh- It’s not going great, I’m not going to lie to you.

So in the last two days of July I noticed that my right arm was starting to hurt a decent amount and I thought- My best guess was that it was some kind of repetitive stress injury, ‘cause you know I’ve been playing video games since the age of like, five. It’s pretty much nonstop. I was gonna get carpal tunnel at some point but, uh, I took a few days to rest my arm and it really didn’t… really didn’t feel any better after that. And so after a few days of that, I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed that my right shoulder was starting to swell like crazy and I was like, “Oh my God! I must’ve broken a bone, this is-” I mean, this- It looked- it looked crazy.

So, you know, the next day - August 2nd - I, uh, headed over to the doctor to see what was wrong and uh, they ran a couple of scans and then they came back and they told me that, uh, the reason my arm hurts is because I have cancer.

That really couldn’t have gone worse, I don’t think. I feel a bit silly talking about this with, uh, Minecraft in the background; it feels a bit out of place. But I’m a Minecraft YouTuber - I don’t- I don’t do a face cam. Which is I guess how most people would talk about serious things, with a face cam. I also probably, uh- *chuckles* Also probably a bit weird to plug my merchandise in the- in the same video, like, “Hey, guys, I have a- I have a terrible disease, also buy my plushies, bro.” But uh- *laughs* Listen: I’ve been waiting so many months to sell those plushies, bro. And it keeps getting delayed and now cancer thinks it can stop me. No no no no no. I’m trying to make some bank, bro. I wanna get paid, also they look fantastic, I mean just look at them, they look incredible. Alright?

I mean, I guess it would be ideal to like, split up the announcements, but I’m going back into chemotherapy next week; I don’t got time for this, man. We gotta go!

To be fair, I could make this a lot weirder; I could have like, the thumbnail be a giant red arrow pointing to my tumor with the caption “Might die! Not clickbait!” *laughs* Yeah, just the ultimate- the ultimate YouTuber, bro. We’re clickbaiting the whole process.

So after the scans come in, I get transferred to another hospital which has an oncology award, so it’s a lot more specialized towards what I need. And I’m sorta like sitting there in the bed for a couple of days like, “Hello. Could I please get some healthcare? Could I- Could I just get a- Could I just get a crumb of healthcare? Please! Like, I *stutters* I wanna see people sprinting, you know? I feel like I want to see some urgency, you know? If you guys gotta- *stammers* You know, there’s like, this tumor on my arm - if you guys could just- if you guys could just get rid of it. Just get rid of it right now! Could we just go? If you gotta cut off my arm, cut off my arm, bro - do what you gotta do. I won’t complain, man, I’ve won enough Minecraft tournaments. I’ll just play Minecraft with my feet from here on out, bro. I’ll still be B tier at least, okay? It’s fine. Do what you gotta do.”

But then the doctors are telling me, “Oh, well, we can’t- we can’t do it immediately. We gotta- We gotta find out what it is, we gotta run some tests, do a biopsy.” I’m like, “Okay, do the biopsy.” Like, “Oh, well first we gotta do some scans.” I’m like, “Alright, dude, the scans.” And so it took a couple of days and then they did a biopsy, uh, three days later. And then I was like, “Alright. Let’s go!” And they were like, “Oh, well, the biopsy is gonna take like, a week or more to get back.” And I’m just sitting here like, “Bruh, please. Please, just treat me.”

I mean, it makes sense. It makes a lot of sense and I’m sure they know what they’re doing, but I’m just sitting there in the hospital like, “Please. Please, healthcare.” So they get the biopsy and they send me home and they’re saying like, I’ll come back in like a week or so when they have a treatment plan prepared, and so I- It was a very fun week at home ‘cause I was sitting there still not getting treated and I was just like, looking at my tumor like, “Alright, Mr. Tumor. You know, you need me to survive so it’s in your best interest to just- to just chill out for a little bit, you know? We don’t wanna go too crazy.”

And faintly- Faintly if you strain your ears, underneath my skin you can hear:

[Dream’s speedrun music plays for a few seconds]

Techno: Yeah, it was a really fun week. But I did finally get started on chemotherapy, which is a wonderful process. Let me explain chemotherapy. So basically uh, you know how society has progressed for thousands of years of technological and medical innovation? So basically, one of the top three ways we have to fight cancer is uh, for you to go to the hospital and then they uh, plug you into a machine and then they inject poison directly into your veins for several days. That’s uh, that’s one of the best ways we’ve got of going about this and the poison- it’s supposed to kill the cancer - it uh, also kills things like, you know, blood. But ehhh, does anybody really need blood? I feel like it’s pretty optional, you know? Uh- *small laugh* Blood for the Blood God as it were, alright? Uh, I’ll take what I can get.

I, uh, you know, I used to have a channel meme- ‘cause back in the day- you know how my motivation always goes up and down in, like, cycles? I used to have a meme where whenever I’d get super motivated I’d, ya know, I’d start uploading, like crazy. I’d also do things like get a haircut. And, so, I joked that, uh, the less hair I had, the more I’d upload. ‘Cause that’s- the hair was holding me back. And so, if that’s still true, I gotta say, chemotherapy, that’s gotta be daily uploads or something, bro. *laughs* It’s gonna be- Chemotherapy Arc is gonna be fantastic for content.

Well, ya know, after I got diagnosed, I, uh, I’ve been making a lot of phone calls- ya know, informing all of my distant family members about the situation- and, I gotta say, of all the phone calls I’ve made, nobody took the news worse than my health insurance provider. They’ve been inconsolable for weeks. They were like, “You got what!? No!” 

I mean, I had no idea they cared so much. They’ve just- oh my God. I- I think they’re the real victims of this. I mean, could you imagine? Could you imagine? Like, look at me! I was a healthy twenty-two year old, I, like, barely went to the doctor, even for, like, regular appointments. I- I guess I went to the dentist, that’s the one thing I did. I was the freest paycheck they’ve ever seen in their lives. They could’ve been milking money off of me for decades. And then, bam, cancer, bro. *laughs* Oh, those poor guys. 

Uh, the one- the one favor I- I do wanna ask- If you guys could all do one small favor for Technoblade- uh, you know that coronavirus thing you been hearing in the news for the last couple of years? Uh, I want you guys to get rid of it. Just, uh, I want it gone. Just a couple days should be sufficient for you guys to do that.

No, but, seriously. I’m kind of, uh, immunocompromised right now, which means, uh, if a bacteria touches me or, like, a virus touches me, I will explode. So, yeah, uh, I wanna- get the vaccine, is what I’m saying.

I’m gonna get cancelled by the anti-vaxxers for saying it, but it’s such a good vaccine, bro. Pfizer got full FDA approval, this week, for people aged sixteen and up. I think you- you can also get it if you’re eleven to fifteen if you’ve got emergency approval or whatever. Uh, I mean, if you have any concerns, don’t listen to a Minecraft YouTuber, but, please, at least talk to a doctor. Because it’s- it’s so good bro. It’s so good.

The hospitals are currently getting flooded by unvaccinated people. I’m gonna go ahead and speak on behalf of all cancer patients when I say that it is incredibly annoying when the- when the hospitals are getting overworked by people dying of preventable diseases. I’m just saying- we got dibs on those hospital beds. So, ya know, you- you probably don’t- you don’t even want them really. You don’t even want to need them. So, I think the vaccine… what is it? It, like, reduces the chances of you needing hospitalization from Covid by, like, ninety-six percent? I mean, it’s so effective, bro! Come on! I mean, you might still get, like… I mean, you could still catch coronavirus, but, like, the symptoms are gonna be so much milder, bro, I’m just saying. Think about it. Think about it. Talk to a doctor.

I remember when I first went in for chemotherapy, A: I was thrilled, ‘cause, like, yo! Healthcare! Inject it into my veins, bro! Let’s go! But, also, like, the first couple of days were actually pretty chill. I was like, ‘Dang! This is easy, bro!’. And then it kicked in. And then it kicked in. My energy levels were zero; they were absolutely nothing. It’s hard to describe how tired I was, but I think my one example is- so they let me go back home. And after several days of resting, I had a virtual appointment with a doctor. And, so, they were, like, ‘Alright’. And I was just sitting there, like, ‘Wait a second. You guys want me to sit upright in a chair for an hour? What is this, the Olympics, bro? I’m going back to bed! What? What?’ *laughs* ‘Wha? Let’s calm down here. Sitting in a chair? Am I Superman? Like, come one, bro.’

As you can probably tell, I’m feeling a lot better right now. Which is, uh, I think that’s part of the process, is, uh, you get a little bit of recovery time to, uh, ya know, eat a lot of really good food- get the weight back- and get ready for the next round.

And, uh, before we go back for the next round, I’m gonna be playing a lot of video games, uh, making some content, seeing if I can get some more videos prepared, because, uh- I know people are gonna be like, ‘No! Technoblade! You don’t need to make videos for us! Please rest!’

Nah, this isn’t about you, bro. This is about me. I enjoy this, man. This is, like, one of the safest and most fun things I could be doing right now, bro, I’m gonna do it. I don’t know how much content I could make, ‘cause I’m kinda slow, but we’ll see. We’ll see.

I already have a video prepared for next week, uh, September third. You guys are gonna love it. It’s, uh, it was actually- it’s kind of, kind of an old video. It was, uh, from a few months ago, but it’s very good. So, yeah! You guys have that to look forward to. 

And, for the record, I know I’ve been complaining a lot in this video, but I just wanna clarify that the doctors I have are, like, insanely good, bro. I’m gonna be getting some of the finest healthcare in the world, so don’t worry about me too much.

I think the treatment has already started to show some results. I- I mean, it’s been so short of a time, so the results aren’t gonna be insane or anything, but, at the very least, the speedrun music has stopped playing. 

So, yeah, that’s where I’ve been and that’s what I’m gonna be doing for the foreseeable future. Wish me luck, and, uh, wear a mask, I guess. Ya know, standard coronavirus procedures. All that coronavirus stuff and like, getting vaccinated - that goes double for Californians, okay? But it helps everywhere.

Uh, that’s all I’ve got for today. See you guys next time!

[yodawgiherd]

You Were Never Truly Gone ch.8

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Soooo, you guys saw the leaks? Bruh.....

This was it, her triumph, everything Kiyomi was hoping for. The pair was together in front of the altar, flanked on both sides by the mass of Faceless guard, each member hidden behind the traditional mask. Standing in the first row Kiyomi admired how gorgeous Mikasa looked in her white wedding dress, head covered by a hood. The Shogun was right there with her, dressed in black as a counterpoint to his bride, the smile on his face genuine and Kiyomi felt a pang of pride in her chest.

See? I told you that she’s beautiful.

Everything falling into place, as she listened to the Shogun recite his wedding vows, Kiyomi’s mind was already plotting on what to do next. She was the hero now, the one who brought them the new symbol, and she had to make sure that the other nobles remembered that, first she would….

The man was finished, and now it was Mikasa’s turn to speak. The priest looked at her expectantly, nudging her to begin her vows but the girl didn’t say a word. Instead, her gaze scanned the crowd until she found Kiyomi’s, forcing their eyes to clash. Confused, Kiyomi mouthed for her to go on with the wedding. But to her horror, the Ackerman girl didn’t comply.

An exceptionally cruel smile parted the blood-red lips.

And then the Shogun was stumbling back, a dagger thrust in his chest. One of the Faceless moved drawing his blade, and before anyone could do anything he rammed it into the groom’s back.

Chaos ensued.

Screams from everywhere, sounds of running as people panicked while Kiyomi stood where she was, staring at the scene. The treacherous guard pulled down his mask, revealing that shitty beard and green eyes that Kiyomi despised. Eren Yeager, the bastard, reached out and took Mikasa’s hand, pulling her into an embrace. All around them, the rest of the Faceless guard followed his lead, drawing their swords and hacking into the gathered nobles, blood splattering all over the temple’s walls.

Kiyomi couldn’t move. She stood and stared as the two kissed in front of the altar, the place where she was supposed to have her greatest victory. Instead of that, she was looking at the greatest loss as people around her kept dying, cut down by the Shogun’s guard. To make everything worse the ground itself shook, and faint stomps could be heard.

Separating from Mikasa’s lips, Eren looked her straight in the eye, his triumphal grin disgusting to look at.

“You know how I told you that I can’t restart the rumbling?”

Cracks ran all over the roof, and his next words confirmed Kiyomi’s greatest fear.

“I lied.”

A colossal titan’s foot came through the ceiling, and Kiyomi didn’t even get the chance to scream before she was crushed to a pulp.

Waking up with a gasp Kiyomi clutched at her chest, staring wide-eyed over the darkened room. Cabin, it was the cabin, she was still at the ship. A dream, nightmare, nothing else. Breathing deep to dispel the terror, she squeezed her eyes shut while massaging her temples.

It would seem that Eren’s sudden re-appearance did a number on her mental state, and Kiyomi couldn’t even say that she was surprised by that. He was nothing short of a monster, and she was right to hate him, right to despise that man from the bottom of her heart.

No, pull yourself together.

It doesn’t matter that he’s back, the plan is still going, Mikasa agreed to it. There will be no assassination and titan army, that was in the past and wouldn’t happen again. The horrors of the past were nothing but a memory, a terrible one but gone forever. Calming herself with measured breathing, Kiyomi laid back on the bed, looking at the moonlight dancing on the cabin’s ceiling.

It will be fine. Everything will be fine. Just a few more days…

The week-long voyage was supposed to be a beautiful dream. Kiyomi imagined it sometimes, how it would feel when she is carrying the fabled Mikasa Ackerman back towards Hizuru, saving her nation and the world in a single stroke. It was the moment of her greatest triumph, years of plotting and sacrifice finally bearing that sweet, sweet fruit. She wanted to spend the time wisely, get to know the Ackerman girl – the future wife of the leader – better, maybe plant some seeds into her that she could collect on later. Yes, it should have been great, a dream come true.

It was a purgatory instead.

Any time Kiyomi saw Eren she couldn’t help but feel the anger in her rising. He wasn’t even doing anything, just talking to the sailors and soldiers, joking with them even, the bastard truly had no brakes. They all liked him, she heard, Aaron was a popular guy and it made her teeth grit. Nobody knew that they were laughing around with a monster, a man that started an apocalypse.

No, to them this was just Aaron, a friend of the Ackerman girl.

It was even worse to find the two lovebirds together. Kiyomi was never big on romance, always putting career in front of her personal needs, and it didn’t feel good being slapped in the face with it. It was everything, all the little gestures – watching them eat together, passing by as they strolled along the ship corridors hand-in-hand, catching them stargazing while they laid on the roof. She had no issues with Mikasa having fun, laughing, giggling, and being in love, she hated that Eren got to experience it too. It wasn’t fair, not to the millions that he trampled.

Her mood got even worse when she saw them kissing, hidden in corners of the ship, once in a cargo hold too, it made Kiyomi miserable. Didn’t help that after three night of relatively peaceful sleep, bar the nightmare, she was once again awoken by: “Ah, Ah Eren, right there! Don’t stop!”.

That night she didn’t lay in bed and waited for it to end. Fed up with the two, Kiyomi left her cabin and leaned on the railing outside, popping a cigarette between her lips. Smoking in silence she stared over the waves, contemplating her situation.

Hizuru was getting closer and closer. In just about two to three days they would arrive, and she would present Mikasa to the people as their new symbol. Her marriage to the Shogun would be quite an event requiring a lot of planning and plotting on Kiyomi’s part – there were nobles to talk to, bribe, charm and threaten. After the Rumbling Hizuru more or less fell apart, shattered into pieces as many small-time barons took advantage of the chaos. She was serious about needing Mikasa, because through her – and the child of course – they would gain a unifying symbol.

Kiyomi sighed, tapping the ash into the ocean.

So much work, and so far from over. Picking the correct baron and convincing him to have his son marry this imported girl was difficult. He didn’t know Mikasa, and even with Kiyomi’s assurance that she is a beautiful and very dignified young woman it wasn’t easy. She managed, in the end, but now she had to think about what will happen once the future Shogun finds out about Eren. Or Aaron, doesn’t matter.

Mikasa was from the ideal “princess” – she was no delicate flower to be protected and that required a strong man in her life. She wasn’t a shy virgin with a blush on her rosy cheeks that could be presented to her future husband on a silver platter. None of that.

If Kiyomi would describe Mikasa with one word it would be powerful – both physically and mentally she was admirably strong. Quiet but not to be underestimated, not easy to manipulate either as Kiyomi found out recently. She played on the old woman’s desperation perfectly, forcing her to accept terms that would normally be impossible. Her having a lover was scandalous on its own, but that the person was no one else but the genocidal maniac everyone believed to be dead, now that was the cherry on top.

Bah.

Nothing to do about that now. Kiyomi was played for a fool but that would end soon – Hizuru was her stomping ground, the Ackerman girl knew no one there and would be dependent on her. Maybe the marriage would be rocky but as long as it produced an heir then everyone could walk away happy. And if the sounds that woke her said anything, it was that Mikasa could do that activity necessary for having children very well.

“Sulking on your own?”

The voice. The voice she hated with her entire being. Gritting her teeth around the cigarette butt, Kiyomi turned to see Eren coming to join her at the railing. Everything about him pissed her off. The way his hair was messy, tousled by someone’s fingers. The dark bruises that bloomed all over his neck. The scratches she could see, disappearing beneath his shirt. The half-cocky grin he wore, knowing very well why she can’t sleep.

“Felt like having a smoke.”, she growled, letting the irritation show in her voice, “Want one?”

Maybe getting him to smoke would kill Eren sooner. To her dismay he shook his head, declining the generous offer. Eyes traveling towards the Ackerman’s door, Kiyomi saw that it remained closed, Mikasa not coming out to join them.

“Where’s your “friend”, Yeager?”

“Sleeping. Exhausted, for some reason.”

Sure, some reason.

“And you came out here why?”

“Needed a breath of fresh air. She is very…  intense.”

Kiyomi’s lips curved into a frown.

“You are just rubbing it in at this point.”

He shrugged.

“You wanted to know.”

Letting the breath out of her lungs create a large puff of smoke, Kiyomi turned back towards the ocean and continued staring into the distance. Maybe ignoring him will make Eren go back. An assumption which proved to be wrong, as he spoke to her soon after.

“You never asked how I came back.”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”, more ash fell into the rolling waves, “Nothing but trouble for me.”

“That’s fair. I would say that I’m sorry for causing it to you, but… I’m not.”, she could hear the bliss in his voice, “Being alive is amazing.”

At least he wasn’t lying to her, Kiyomi could appreciate honesty.

“Figured as much.”

Eren’s resurrection didn’t interest Kiyomi in the slightest. She couldn’t care less how he managed to cheat death for the last time, it didn’t mean anything. The practical woman that she was, Kiyomi was only interested in how it impacted her own planning.

To be frank, it threw a giant wrench into it.

Yet there was something else she would like to ask, and there would probably not be a better time in the foreseeable future.

“Tell me, how can you be so calm when you know what Mikasa will do once we get to Hizuru?”

“What do you mean?”

“She is going to marry another man, have a child with him. That doesn’t bother you?”

“That’s the terms of the deal Mikasa made with you. This is her show now, I’m just tagging along on the ride.”

“Ha, that doesn’t sound like the Eren Yeager I know.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”, one of his eyebrows lifted, “My previous mindset got me killed, you can’t blame me for trying something new.”

“Still, going from full active to full passive is…”, she studied his face for a second, “Strange.”

“Maybe, but I need to stay hidden and Hizuru gives me that. A sanctuary.”

“Indeed, as much as it pains me, I have promised that to lady Mikasa.”

“You hate me, and you have every reason to.”, Eren’s voice remained passive as he spoke, not rising to answer Kiyomi’s obvious verbal attacks, “I’m not going to apologize for what I’ve done and I can’t take it back either.”

“Good, because your apology would mean nothing to me.”

This time he finally reacted, a chuckle leaving his mouth.

“I do wonder if we will ever get along.”

Kiyomi’s scowl was the only answer required.

“Don’t count on it.”

“As you say…”, pushing himself away from the railings, Eren did that half-mocking bow again, “Good night, lady Azumabito.”

When the door of Mikasa’s cabin closed behind him, Kiyomi threw the cigarette into the ocean, angrily staring after it. Damn him, damn him to hell.

The morning of their arrival’s day found Kiyomi lecturing Mikasa in her cabin, giving her a few last-minute tips. The girl was looking great, happy and elated even, making the old woman forget all about the pesky Yeager.

“We will be arriving in the port and from there we will have a parade through the city.”, Kiyomi began her instructions, “You requested it and I made sure that the public will be there to see you. May I ask why you wanted one in the first place?”

“I want to give the people something to look forward to, I feel like they deserve as much, especially after I made them wait this long.”

Thinking about the working class already – Mikasa had some good instincts in her.

“Very good. The parade will take you to the palace, where I will show you to your chambers and give you a chance to freshen up. Come evening, the ruling council will gather and we will meet them to discuss the wedding preparations. Also, you will meet your husband there. Sounds good?”

The Ackerman girl nodded, taking it all in.

“I believe that you will take good care of me. Of us.”

Of course, couldn’t forget that parasite. And the goat. Then again, Kiyomi had nothing against the goat, it was a rather well-behaved animal. Eren on the other hand….

“I’ll have “Aaron” put on a uniform and march with the soldiers. I doubt that anyone will notice him, and not like people will be looking at them – all eyes will be on you, lady Mikasa.”

“As long as we can reunite in the castle, I like your plan.”, a firm nod, very military-like, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They could hear the shouting of the crowd from afar, the water carrying the sound rather efficiently. Standing on the deck, Mikasa looked at the fast-approaching shore, seeing the masses that gathered there in her honor, stomach doing little flips.

“Hey.”, a hand closed around her fingers, “Relax, we will be okay.”

Eren was right there next to her, dressed in a Hizurian uniform, offering a smile in these trying times. She managed to mirror his smirk, despite the twisting of her guts.

“I know. We are together, so there is nothing that I can’t handle.”

The ship’s horn indicated that the shore was even closer now, and Eren left with a last fleeting kiss. Kiyomi took his place almost immediately, ready to accompany her on this perilous journey. As Mikasa studied the port, she noticed that it was very modern, even more than she thought it would be.

“The buildings,”, she said out loud, “look very recent. Did Hizuru rebuild the port?”

“We had to, this area was completely devastated during the rumbling.”

“Oh…”

“Most of the damage had been fixed, but there are still areas which are nothing but trampled ground.”, Kiyomi’s face was sour, “We don’t have the manpower to fix it completely, and lack of proper leadership does not help.”

“That’s why I’m here, no?”

That brought a smile to Kiyomi’s face.

“Yes indeed.”

With a last booming horn sound, the ship backed into the harbor and the gangplank was lowered. The soldiers fanned out first, Eren among them, joining the forces that were already hard at work, keeping the shouting crowd away. Horses were brought when Mikasa and Kiyomi touched the ground, but that was not all. A small group pushed its way towards the two of them, moving to the left and right in a protective formation. They were wearing masks, hiding their identity, but from the lack of alarm on Kiyomi’s part, Mikasa figured that they weren’t here to hurt them.

“Who are they?”, she whispered to the older woman.

“Oh, I should have told you. These are the Faceless.”, Kiyomi quickly supplied, “Personal guard of the Shogun and his family, elite soldiers that will die for you in a blink of an eye.”

“Do they ever take these masks off?”

“Only if it is requested by their charge, otherwise it is a great dishonor. Why?”

“Just curious…”

So a personal guard that was supposed to stay with her all the time and never take off a mask covering their face? Hmmm…

Mounting up in a swift and practiced movement, Mikasa waited until Kiyomi also managed to scramble up on her horse.

“You know, we could have used cars.”, she said, watching the older woman struggle.

“We could, but horses are more regal and also it reminds the people of where you came from.”

“I thought that my origin is a thing to be forgotten.”

“Not at all! Your past is what made you who you are, and it reminds us of the strength you possess. Managing to survive such a nightmare you were thrust into takes incredible skill and dedication.”

Unsure on how to reply to such praise, Mikasa directed her eyes towards the crowd instead. There were so many people here, cheering for her, and it made her heart race. Finally, Kiyomi managed to seat herself properly, clicking her tongue at the mount before addressing Mikasa.

“Shall we?”

The parade through the city was quite an experience. Mikasa had never waved so much in her life before, but here she was, doing her best to appear both dignified and cheerful as she returned the endless love of the people. It reminded her of the times when she and Eren watched Survey Corps return from their expeditions beyond the walls, albeit grander in scale.

The ruckus subsided when they left the port city behind, moving through the countryside towards the capital. There were next to no forests left, trampled beneath the titan’s feet, but the meadows and rice fields stretched to the left and right of the road, restored in the years following the rumbling. High and up, they rode for a few hours before the other city rose in front of them.

The capital was situated high, mostly in the mountains, and because of that a large part had escaped the destruction, Kiyomi said. There were people waiting for her, cheering as their group rode past, and Mikasa was once again forced to smile and wave like an idiot. Eren, hiding between the soldiers, had a time of his life watching her.

The palace was also much greater than anything that Mikasa saw in her life. It was more like a whole city, hidden behind additional walls, towering over the rest of the land. Untouched by the rumbling, it remained as grandiose as before, taking her breath away.

“I take it that you like your new house?”, Kiyomi purred from the right, “A step up from a cabin in the mountains, is it not?”

Mikasa wasn’t sure that she could agree with that statement but forced herself to nod either way.

Still in a bit of a haze from this all, Mikasa was led to luxurious chambers that felt out of this world, with Kiyomi saying that all this is hers now. It was crazy, considering that the most she ever owned was a tiny cabin. And the old woman was all smiles and nods until those dreaded words left Mikasa’s lips.

“Where’s Eren?”

“I… I’ll send for him.”

Both to give them a little privacy and because being in Yeager’s presence annoyed her, Kiyomi left soon after, saying that she will be back to escort Mikasa to the meeting with the ruling council. Finally reunited with her lover, the pair shared a hug before she pulled back.

“How’s Yams?”, she asked, curious about their animal companion.

“See?”, he grinned,  “I told you that you’d miss him.”

Mikasa playfully slapped Eren’s chest.

“Answer the question.”

“In the royal stables, loving it so far.”, he looked around, “Same as you it seems, this is quite the place.”

“Mhmm, not the same without you though.”

“I doubt that I can stay in your chambers without people gossiping.”

“That depends…”, she took a hold of Eren’s chin, making him look at her.

“Have you ever considered joining a royal guard?”

It was almost evening when Kiyomi came back, knocking before opening the door, flanked by two Faceless, to the Ackerman’s chambers. Mikasa was sitting at the table when Kiyomi came in, Eren was staring out of the window, and neither paid too much attention until she cleared her throat.

“We should get going to the meeting, lady Mikasa.”

“In a minute. First, we need to talk.”

A small crease formed between the old woman’s eyebrows.

“What about?”, she asked cautiously.

“I think that it would be better if you sit.”

“I think that I can decide that for myself.”

Coming closer, she leaned on the table. Eren also changed his position, standing behind Mikasa and putting his arms on her shoulders in some sort of protective gesture. Kiyomi didn’t like this – the closeness of the two, the air of mystery suddenly shrouding Mikasa’s words.

She didn’t like it one bit.

“If you have something to say,”, she forced her voice to remain level, “then speak.”

Exchanging a quick look with Eren, Mikasa put her hand over his before meeting Kiyomi’s gaze. And then she dropped a bomb that shook her to the core.

“The thing is, I do not plan to marry the Shogun.”

Her eyes, her grey eyes were burning into Kiyomi, and she felt her knees go weak. Her butt met the chair as she folded, doing so at the same time as Mikasa’s next words finding their way into her ears.

“I never did.”

[dem-cp-hoes]

Sorry to bother you, but can you do some wholesome/cute head canons for the creepypastas please?

You're not bothering at all, no worries😊

Though I think these turned out to be general hc rather than cute but... 🤷‍♀️

---------------------------------------------------

Jeff:

I think it's pretty much canon that Jeff names his knives. Most people would think that he gives them badass names but nah...

His favorite is named Martha, no one else is allowed to touch her

There's also Kule, Austin and Annie, sometimes he talks to them (mostly about Liu)

No, you can't point it out/comment on it, it'll upset him

Smile is his best friend, Ben is jealous

His hair gets curly after a few days, which means he has to straighten it with an iron

He also puts his hair buns, or ponytails around the house (he looks good tbh)

^the reason he always has hair ties as well

He's either dead asleep or hasn't slept for 4 days straight, there's no in-between

Not a total asshole all the time, surprisingly

He doesn't make mean comments about things that hit too close to home

Like, sure he's gonna tease Toby for his ticks but he's never gonna mention his sister

He makes up his own curse words

He puts on chapstick, but no one knows

Everyone knows, they've seen him, Ben has a video

He talks during movies, questioning the logic and making comments about characters' decisions, nobody minds bc it's hilarious since everything he says is on point

He drinks the sweetest coffee with milk and 3 spoonfuls of sugar at least

Loves romantic movies, but he has a reputation

Has a small cactus in his room, it was a gift from Ben, he takes good care of it

Ben:

He has freckles!!! He has freckles everywhere!!! (sorry I got excited, I just love freckles) but bc of the whole dead/demon thing, you have to get close to him of you want to see them

Owns a lot of fandom themed hoodies and t-shirts

He can mimic a lot of cartoons' voices, including the jigglypuff song, it's quite impressive

He's very proud of it

Ben is a genius, since he's mostly attached to a computer he has access to anything the internet has to offer, so lots of knowledge

Sometimes he can answer like Alexa/Siri does if someone calls his name and asks something

The others think he can't control it and ask him things all the time

He absolutely can control it and only does it to fuck with them by giving them bullshit answers that sound legit

He collects action figures, what a dork

Has a hamster, his name is Picachu

He gets teased a lot over it, let him live pls

The others secretly love it tho

Loves to watch people argue through their cameras

He lives for the drama

"Ben what are u doing?" "I'm watching this couple in New Jersey, apparently Sharon cheated on Nick again, but this time with his sister!!!"

When he giggles/gets embarrassed his ears become bright red

Sits on the floor, sits on tables, sits on Jane, Slender is convinced he doesn't know what a chair is

Jack:

Any perfume with a very heavy scent makes him sneeze a lot

He refuses to believe he is hurt/sick

Jack, while being held down by all the proxies: Guys, I told you I'm fINE, I CAN WORK TODAY, JUST LET ME GO!!

He has a lot of animal mannerisms

Like licking someone he likes on the cheek, purring/growling, sniffing etc

Bruh, you scratch behind his ears or under his chin and his whole chest vibrates with purring

He tilts his head on the side when he's confused, like a dog

Loves scented candles, he has a bunch of them in his room

His favorite scent is lavender

He can in fact eat human food, it just can't sustain him all that well and anything that is not overly seasoned tastes bland

With that being said, he loves spicy food bc he can taste it properly

Jane screamed when she saw him eat an entire plate of ghost peppers with no milk

The jingle of keys makes his head turn sharply towards the sound, once again like a dog

He can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere

The porch? More than once

In another's room? Of course

In slender's office? That was quite an interesting thing to explain

In the middle of the kitchen? Yeah, once

He's just a sleepy boi

Jack is the one who knows everyone's ticklish spots bc gives check ups

Likes listening to audio books on his free time

Masky:

He drinks Irish coffee (for those of you who don't know, it has alcohol in it)

Once Masky called Slender dad (sleep deprived) and then proceeded to slam his head down on the table and say a bad word

Sally once made him a flower crown for his birthday

He refused to take it off for 5 hours!!

Won't sleep with less than 2 pillows

He considers his one True near death experience to be when he almost choked on one of Jane's fake eyelashes (long story)

He has mastered the 'disapproving face' game', even when he wears the mask, you can feel it's there

He's around Toby, what did you expect?

Doesn't trust giraffes ("why are they so fucking long????")

He has a very contagious laugh when he really laughs, even when he just grins

Can give the best hugs, hands down

Like you feel so warm and protected when he hugs you

And it doesn't help the fact that he smells like the forest after a rainy day.... (now I want a hug)

Hoodie:

He has dirt on everyone

Mainly bc he's quiet and reliable so people tell him stuff

Has Masky saved in his phone as 'Bae' and when people see it they ask, "Is he your boyfriend?"

And he replies with, "Nah, it stands for Biggest Asshole Ever"

Drinks tea by the gallon

Reigning champion of "How many objects can we put on Jeff while he sleeps"

Hoodie has those "hoe don't do it" moments pretty much every day

Jeff trying to start shit, Ben is planning a prank on someone, someone insulted Slender. Every time

Award winning smile

His hair is the softest thing ever I swear-

Will make tea for anyone he sees that's having a rough day

He likes to sketch people, he's actually pretty good

He likes to read books to calm down

If someone wants to he will read out loud to them

Toby:

Don't give him energy drinks

It won't make him hyper, oh no, but it will make him do dumb shit

Once, Helen made the mistake of handing him a red bull, and let's just say he was found playing a mix between 'the floor is lava' and 'don't let the balloon touch the floor'

It was intense

President of Protect the Bees and very proud of it

Will follow through with literally any dare, he takes impulsivity to new levels

Will let Sally do his hair and dress him up to play princess

That friend who sends you fucking memes at 3am just to be a prick

It's easy to get him flustered, especially if someone flirts with him

He is obsessed with sour sweets, not even he knows why

There's no such thing as personal space, he's comfortable around everyone

Gets excited when he sees a cartoon on tv from when he was a kid

Places the stickers Sally gives him on the headboard of his bed

He knows how to say, "can I pet your dog?" in 4 languages

[normal-thoughts-official]

How do you think Magnus told Alec he had a son? Magnus in the middle of the date, so you know that vampire who’s home you broke into while murdering his friends, yeah that one, well funny story... honestly I’m imagining it kind of cracky but it has the potential to be really angsty as well. Feel no pressure to respond if you’re busy but I just really love Magnus and Raphael and you’re one of the few blogs I know that doesn’t characterise them in a bunch of barely concealed racist stereotypes

im never too busy for magnus and raphael asks 👀👀👀 i might take a while to respond (usually with asks i like a lot djdndjdn) but i always love getting asks and answering them, so dont worry about that. especially magnus & raphael asks!!!!!!! they are everything i want out of life

also im happy to hear u like my characterisation of them but yeah this fandom is hell. and trying to think about ppl who post about them frequently and that i trust i was like "bruh there's so little" but anygays @luxxmagnus @maiaisbia (aurora_chiroptera on ao3) @some-thrilling-heroics (yellow_craion on ao3. to be fair she's been more into the old guard lately but still worth a follow) are all mag&raph enthusiasts with good content. @magnusraphaelmaia is basically a reblog blog but it has good shit as well. and those are the ones that come to mind daisndaidas if yall have any other recs im all for it

as for the actual question! oof. idk. id usually say that it’s probably on his clave file, but that’s actually implied to not be true (which makes sense since it was kind of risky for raphael to be camille’s second-in-command if she knew that she was magnus’ son and how much she could use them against each other and just generally not trust raphael, which kind of fucked up his ‘overthrowing her’ plans), since izzy didn’t know about their relationship and neither did simon, or anyone else that i can think of. (and like simon is nosy and literally lived with the vampires so it doesn’t make any sense for him to be like “what is raphael doing here??” when he got into magnus’ house unless it was some kind of secret). and alec also didn’t understand why magnus defended raphael with the whole yin fen thing which also points in that direction

i mean to be fair it could be just that he was overtaken with Rage and Big Brother Instincts, but i do actually think it hadn’t come up before. so probably after that? i actually don’t remember whether or not magnus and alec talked about that whole thing or if it was just swept under the rug as usual, i have a vague feeling that it was mentioned, but i might be wrong. either way i would have loved to see them talking about it. it would probably come in the form of a dramatic revelation like “izzy is my family!” “and raphael is mine”. or maybe magnus got into how raphael would never use izzy or lure her into addiction because he’s also struggled with that (you know a random moment of ooc bull nobody ever talks about? magnus buying the idea that the yin fen thing was on raphael without a second thought. he was all but angry with raphael and that pisses me the FUCK off, because even if it was raphael’s fault - and it wasn’t - he still would?? trust his son enough to ask him about it??? but FUCK logic in this house) and he’s been clean for decades

and alec listens to it all with that frown of his that he has when he’s trying to figure something out, and then, when magnus is done, alec is all like “how do you know all this?” and magnus sighs and is like “because i was the one who rescued him. i watched it all, alexander. i know raphael would never do that to someone. even when he was at his lowest, he never wanted to hurt anybody” 

and alec has that moment of “ah shit i just punched my possible future son-in-law hmmm that’s a problem” and like, look, izzy has many many faults, especially in her relationship with raphael and all the SHIT she did to him, but villainizing him is not one of them. literally the second she had just been caught and was high af and probably knew she would be into some kind of trouble she yelled “alec, it was not his fault!” so i think she would tell him what happened. maybe wouldn’t straight up admit she was the one who got him hooked, but definitely tell him that raphael had nothing to do with this and if anything he ended up in the story because he tried to protect her. which is something he did out of pure selflessness since they were like, literally enemies up to that point

anyway i’m going too deep into my yin fen rant but LOOK I HATE HOW THAT PLOTLINE WAS HANDLED I HATE IT. FUCK VILLAINIZING RAPHAEL FOR THE YIN FEN 20FOREVER. but my POINT is, after that, alec apologizes to raphael eventually, and magnus heals raphael’s wounds, and they both focus on taking care of their respective families as they are BOTH struggling with addiction god fucking damn it they literally ignored raphael trying to come clean! for the second time! fuck this! anyway the point is that at least raphael has gone through this before so he knows it’s possible to pull through, but also, he’s gone through this before so it’s fucking humiliating to go through it again and he needs emotional support, okay?

and alec probably tries to awkwardly help magnus take care of raphael in a very earnest but “hm” way because this whole thing is a mess lmao. and slowly they start to mend that? and alec makes sure magnus knows that this would never be a drawback to him because if anything he loves how caring and generous magnus is? yeah. and i guess that’s my take on how that would come up diahduisa