#bruh not at me for thinking these are 20 questions

[irondad-and-spiderson]

Hi! Sorry to bother, idk if you take asks like this (if you don't feel free to ignore!) but do you know any good fics where SI employees bully/threaten/mistreat Peter and Tony comes to the rescue? Thank you so much for your time 💙💙

Hi! I absolutely do! I might just take forever to respond and take your prompt a little loosely 😃 The three under the cut are employees with (valid) security concerns. I know there are more that I can’t find, so anyone feel free to add some 😉

A Big Security Issue by FotiBrit

When Peter lost his Stark Industries Staff ID, Tony handed the kid his own. That was never an issue, until Peter had to check in at the front desk.

-

The Cusp of a Breath by SpaceCowboysFromMars

“That was the most stressful thing I’ve ever experienced.” Peter says as he and Tony make their way into the crowd. He wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs, cringing when he remembers how much the suit costs.

“You got shot on patrol last month.”

“This was worse.”

Or; Peter is introduced as the official heir of Stark Industries, but not everyone is completely welcoming of his presence. Luckily, he has a pretty awesome mentor to keep him on track.

-

the love (and other things) you inherit by ironfidus

“Which is why,” Catherine says, unblinking, as delicately as she can, “the board requires that you name a successor in the event of your untimely demise. The risk has simply become too great for us to ignore.”

Tony Stark’s spent a large portion of his life thinking about legacy: his legacy, his company’s, Iron Man’s. He’s spent a lot of time fighting to protect his legacy, too. But today, with a lawyer as his witness and FRIDAY as his one-AI cheerleading squad, he stops, takes a step back, and lets go instead—because for the first time, his legacy isn’t about him, not really.

And as FRIDAY would say: it’s about damn time.

Alternatively: Tony updates his will and gets himself an heir, Peter gets a promotion (for lack of a better word), and the rest of the world gets a wake-up call—in that order. Ft. an impatient board of directors, a Stark Industries charity gala, and a universe in which Tony Stark gets to be happy.

-

Security Bias by Sara (ctrsara)

Happy Hogan asks Daren Anderson to help him out with a little project.

My take on idk-bruh-20's irondad fic ideas #128: Fic where, after a security incident in which some bozo accused Peter of trespassing at Stark Tower, Happy holds an emergency briefing for the entire SI security team.

The topic of the briefing? The absolutely untouchable, vital-to-know-if-you-want-to-keep-your-job level of importance of one Peter Parker.

:)

Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited by kingdomfaraway

While Leroy didn’t like gossip, he wasn’t immune to it and he’d heard about a young boy claiming to be Tony Stark’s intern showing up randomly throughout the building. He just figured it was some random mystery, a Stark Industries cryptid if you will.

Never did he think he’d have a sighting.

“Are you Peter Parker?” Leroy questioned, narrowing his eyes at the young boy, looking for any signs of deceit.

“Oh yeah, that’s me, hi!” Possibly Fabled Intern Peter Parker reached into his pocket and pulled out a badge and lanyard, this one with his face on it and INTERN written underneath it. “Mr. Stark got me a badge so I can get nachos whenever I want.”

-

Chapter 1 of 200 Park Avenue (5+1) by Sara (ctrsara)

Peter hasn't seen Mr. Stark, or been able to go out as Spider-man since he turned down his invitation to join the Avengers a few weeks ago. He ends up at Stark Tower rather randomly, finding an unlikely hero in Mr. Stark's AI, then keeps returning for different purposes.

The first chapter is a short I did for Comfortember 2022 that I've just kept thinking about. I'm building on that story and creating a 5+1 to explore the new dynamic (post-Homecoming) in another way.

Or

5 Times Peter Visited Stark Tower and 1 Time He Stayed

-

Home by patrochilles_trash ((it’s less angsty than it sounds))

Tony had been out of the country for weeks on SI business, and Peter was having a hard time. He missed him, plain and simple.

Okay. Maybe not so plain and simple.

Peter had a rough time in the weeks and months that followed the final defeat of Thanos in the ruins of the Compound. Thrust back into life, only to be forced to fight for the lives of the entire universe for the second time at only sixteen-years-old, and then to be told that his last living relative died in a crash during his five year absence did wonders for his psyche.

He developed a nasty form of separation anxiety toward his mentor-turned-adoptive-father -- not that Tony fared much better himself -- and his therapist had said it was a side effect of PTSD and that it would get better over time.

OR

A small field trip fic to SI where Tony has been out of the country for a few weeks, and Peter isn't handling it well.

Don't be fooled. This garbage fluff to avoid my other fics that I'm writing

[eddiesangels]

after tit.

I don’t even wanna leave this parking spot. like this was genuinely one of the best days of my life. the people were amazing, my seat was amazing. I think I need to schedule an eye doctors appointment tho. they’re actually real. seeing them during the q&a was crazy work. I was most shocked by dan for some fucking reason. like he’s there. maybe cause he was closer but my god bruh. I was giggling kicking my feet not even kidding. they didn’t read my question but it’s ok, there was a fuck ton put in.

who wants to buy me another ticket for another show. not even kidding. and I spent so much on merch, and I accidentally tipped 14 bucks bruh. said 10% so I’m thinking 2 bucks. no fricking 14 BUCKSSSS.

ugh.

guys, dan howell really said something when he said that thing about embracing the cringe cause I embraced it so hard today in my phreddy phazbear fit.

also I did cry at the beginning of the show, like full tears fell. but that’s it. didn’t tear up at the nice little moment towards the end. cried when they came out. it was that fuck ass intro with the hi my name is phil and fuck

I think I need to be a youtuber

no cause they’re living their dream together and doing stupid shit for people like us whom are also them and bruhhhhhhhhh

someone was reading fanfiction during the intermission

sorry, I also haven’t done anything in 5ever. so maybe that’s also. I’m gonna take the backroads home cause I don’t wanna drive on the Boston highway rn at night

love you all. thank you for the ticket, thank you for saying hi, thank you for being there, thank you dan and phil, thank you this free parking spot I found.

gang don’t kill yourself 😂😂😂🙂‍↕️😎

- update. I’ve been sitting in my car for 20 minutes. <3 also might take highway but the lights r too bright !

was thinking of stalking dnp van but that’s too much work (joke)

[stateofirrelevancy]

.

Men are so stupid lol

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

What makes you know hobie is 18 or above? And not the in the same age range as miles and gwen

Honestly, great question. And the answer is:

I Don't Know Jack Shit. So jot that down.

Additionally, anyone telling you they DO know Jack Shit is a liar. Jot that down too.

[I may go a little Miguel Mode at the end of you know what I mean]

I personally operate under the headcanon that Hobie is over 18.

Why? He says he goes to pubs. You need to be over 18 to do that. The End.

You can headcanon that he has a fake id or simply finds himself in pubs while underage - and that's completely valid. Go ahead. You can headcanon he has a mfing tail. I can't stop you and we haven't seen his ass so maybe he do, who knows.

But my headcanon is just that. And to me - until Hobie's age is clearly displayed and mentioned on screen, then it'll always be a headcanon.

No matter what age you headcanon him as - if you think you KNOW his age, you're probably wrong. And I mean that.

The ATSV describes him as a 'slightly older boy'. Case closed, right? He's a minor then.

Nah, three lines later they say he's MUCH older than Miles....literally contradicting themselves within the same paragraph.

[And the funny thing is - I've seen the artbook used as evidence in the argument multiple times. Even though it literally contradicts itself. And every single time I'm like 'bruh did you even read the full page come on now'.]

Case in point, if you think you KNOW Hobie's age when 1) it's not stated on screen and 2) even the official external material gives conflicting information - you're just wrong. You can't know a theoretical number. And you can't be wrong about a theoretical number.

It's Schrodinger's age.

Example: A character is shown to be in High School. They live in New Jersey where the driving age is 16. If a fanfic writer has the character say "I can't do that, I can't drive yet.", is the fanfic writer canonically wrong? No. Because the character could reasonably be above OR below the driving age, either 14-18. Even if the director mentions the character having a sweet-16 that is never mentioned in the show, it's not screen-canon and the average viewer will not know the character is definitely over 16. Therefore they can reasonable be 15.

"But the director said-"

Don't care. Not weighted canon unless stated on-screen.

Maybe this is a controversial opinion. But if it's not on screen, I can't say it's canon.

Sure, the director may have said in an outside interview that Hobie's conceptually 19-20 -

But a normal person who goes to see the movie, and comes home to write fanfiction isn't going to know what.

They shouldn't have to dig through all conceptual and external content of a specific character in order to be deemed 'acceptable' and knowledgeable enough to write about them.

A person who watches the movie and writes solely based off of what the movie says about Hobie shouldn't be harassed or told they're wrong because they didn't listen to a podcast of a director who's name they don't even know.

There's no pass that says 'Okay you've done enough research about Hobie to write about him, congrats-'

If it's not in the movie, show, book, etc - a fan should not be required to seek out that information to be caught up to speed. External information is supplemental, not a part of the hole.

Also-

If it's not in the movie - It DOESN'T MATTER.

ATSV is a very well written movie. Every line is used for the purpose of telling the story. Especially Hobie's.

They didn't tell us Hobie's age because it didn't matter to the story. And it shouldn't matter to you.

If the writers didn't care enough to take time out to clarify his age, then it makes no sense to spend take arguing about it.

They obviously don't find it important. Because it isn't. It doesn't matter to the story at all.

Hobie's age doesn't matter to the 'love triangle'. Although the film is narrated by Gwen, we largely see it from Miles' point of view. And the 'love triangle' only exists when Mile has no concept of who Hobie is.

Miles doesn't know Hobie. So him questioning a love triangle happens regardless of whether Hobie is an adult or not. Miles doesn't know, neither do we.

The 'Hobie' in the 'love triangle' is an empty-shell of the mystery of who Hobie COULD be. The moment Hobie takes off the mask and we're revealed to the real him - the illusion of who he could've been is shattered for both us and Miles.

Because his age isn't stated, it has no bearing on Miles' perception of him. Miles don't know shit. Neither do we.

Also you people should be fucking grateful GODDAMN WTF

If you deadass beef about this you one ungrateful mfer i swear. Take offense. All offense.

We have a black, attractive, educated, useful, respected character in an animated movie that's available for ANY SHIP with ANY character and what do you people do??? - you argue.

Why? Explain to me why.

You should be happy it's up to interpretation and not definitely stated that you were wrong. At any time the creators could just put it in the next movie and make you look stupid.

You could be out there enjoying any ship of your choosing; with any character you enjoy him with - regardless of age. But no, instead of enjoying the ship that's available to you, you antagonize others.

Sit there and eat your mfing salad you INGRATE

Be grateful we have a character with such free range of shipping. A character that's un-aged and doesn't have a specific gender preference. BE THANKFUL.

You like Gwen x Hobie. Great. You argue with people and harass people who think Hobie's an adult??? - What if Hobie deadass looked in the camera next movie and said "I'm 19 also I'm gay." You'd look dumb as hell.

But they didn't do that. They left it unstated for you to go and enjoy your Hobie x Gwen or Hobie x Miguel or Hobie x whoever the hell.

I'm thankful everyday they didn't say his age because I don't make OCs that go to high school because I'm 24 and hate high school. And guess what, I can do that.

Him and Diane can just hang out on the houseboat all day cause they're grown ass adults with no place to be. Isn't that swell?

Stop playing with me and enjoy the goddamn shipping buffet. Christ almighty

All in all - I don't know shit. You don't know shit. And it's okay to not know shit.

NO UM-AKSCHULLY

Get comfortable with saying "I'm not the authority on this." or better yet "I don't know shit about nothing."

I love him to death, but I am not the authority on Hobie Brown.

For me - I know he said he goes to pubs and I know I wanted to ship him with Diane. Personality wise, Diane is 19. So Hobie is 19.

But I don't know anything about his age. No one does.

I'm just cute and like to share headcanons. Hobie Brown as of right now doesn't have an age. And that's fine. Cause he ain't real.

If you made it this far ummmmmm Here he is. I'm giving you this photo under the condition that you'll act right and enjoy him in a ship of your choosing if you'd like to do that.

Now lets sit here, and eat this ship salad.

[me making sure ur enjoying ur shipping salad]

Bye.

[ecstasyhighway]

YOU & I | an ellie williams fanfic series

this is a fic that will be posted and mostly updated on wattpad @ecstasyhighway this ff is heavily based off of you the netflix show and inspired by a ff on here which i cannot remember who wrote it but if yk lmk so i can give proper credit.

there is not smut in this little part here but its a filthy ah fic that will become darker as it goes on.

MEN DNI - 16+ i fear (im 17 so if u feel uncomfortable reading from a minor who will be 18 at the end of the year then u dont have to read this i really dgaf.)

ch 1 ch 2

silly story and more ff info under the cut

Ellie had seen you walking around the music store she worked at... her attention automatically shifted from the customer in front of her to you. Your hair, your curves, your eyes. Everything about you was just...

"hello? did you hear me?" the woman raised her voice slightly to get her attention,

Ellie snapped out of her thoughts and focused on the clearly irritated woman in front of her.

"yea my bad, what was that..?"

The lady rolled her eyes and started asking questions about guitar lessons for her son or daughter or some shit, she wasnt really paying attention to the nonsense floating from her mouth.

"yeah, im not the one you go to about that, uhhh my buddy Jesse is in the back, he can help you"

"thanks" and with that, she headed towards the back, muttering words under her breath.

Ellie's attention quickly turned back towards you. She examines you closely. Watching you grab a vinyl from the shelf, Call Me If You Get Lost, is what you had grabbed. Ellie wants to walk over to you, and talk to you but shes scared. What if she says the wrong thing? What if she freaks you out? What if you think shes a weirdo.. She turns away to stop looking at you, her cheeks are red and shes shaking, she is just so nervous and she's not even planning on talking to you... She puts her face in her hands and begins to calm herself down.

"Hi! hello"

A voice chimes from behind her, she turns around and a lump forms in her throat.

Its... you.

———————————————————————————

YOU & I | ellie williams.

this is a DARK fanfic. Based heavily off of the show you on netflix and inspired by a fanfic I saw on tumblr. This story has adult themes, sexual themes, stalking, thoughts of killing (no actual killing just thoughts), themes of hate, ellie has slight mental issues (obv shes stalking) age gaps (only 3 years and they're adults). idgaf how old u are this is dark and you have been warned, i am not responsible for any type of reaction you may have to this as ive given you a warning. I will give warnings at the beginning of chapters that might be too dark. again you have been warned.

important - ellie might be a tad ooc, shy!ellie, switch!ellie if you squint. this is a lesbian ff.

MEN DNI I WILL FIND YOU.

reader is afab and 20

ellie is 23

modern au

jessie, dina, joel, tommy, maria, most of the main tlou cast is in this (not everyone will be mentioned or even really have a place in the story, just know they are present)

based in New York (obv)

i am not a professional writer, im simply a girl who writes shit when shes bored, do not expect me to have an upload schedule. I get drained v fast and i want to enjoy writing, its not a job with deadlines. so with that my grammar might be bad, spelling might be ass and if there is any math it will probably be wrong, it might be written in third, or first person i be fuckin up with that but yall will be fine.

YOU & I | ellie williams.

story created and written by @ecstasyhighway

tlou and the characters belongs to Neil Druckmann and Naughty Dog

the story of "YOU" belongs to Netflix

Story was ib by a ff i saw breifly but i don't remember who wrote it so, if yk pls lmk so i can give proper credit

THIS IS FICTION. DO NOT DO THIS SHIT IRL BRUH ITS ACTUALLY WEIRD ASF. AGAIN THIS IS PURELY FICTIONAL. thank yew

uhhhh yeah enjoy ig and i do appreciate any supportive criticism as i am not a professional writer and shit could just be wrong.

also im new to tumblr fanfic writing so yeah 😭.

[asfrisa]

SHIFTING UPDATE 05/01/2025

Tw: kinda long post

FLY LIKE A BIRDDDDDDD THATS WHERE MY SOUL ISSSSS

Guys I've had a breakthrough!!!!

I've been using LOA or whatever you might call it, affirmed the shit out of my ass for like 3 days now when I wake up, when I go to sleep and affirmation tape while I sleep.

And last night, I was really living in the state of "the wish fulfilled" and honestly I don't even know how to explain how that is because when people write about it (like I'm doing rn) I didn't understand it, but maybe this post can help you?

For me the feeling was almost dreamy, no I didn't sit and visualize my DR for the entire thing, I was scrolling on my phone actually /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

What I actually did was that I put on a few songs and visualized my DR for maybe about 10-20 minutes? Legit just doing mundane things, and tried to embody who I am in that awareness (aka think like you think in that awareness) "Oh wow this soup tastes nice"

"Can that bro just shut up?" "Honestly **** would be so much better looking without those ****"

Just normal ahh thoughts and I visualized that I was wearing headphones like I was in my CR and was listening to the same music and scrolling through my phone. And I went back to my room and just laid down on my bed and started DAYDREAMING LIKE I WOULD DO IN MY DR, AND I MINGLED MY THOUGHTS TOGETHERRRRRR

Like bring as much similarities as you can to your CR to make that connect you get what I mean?????

Also start thinking that your DR is still there even if you're not paying attention to it! ITS REAL, ITS "ALIVE"

And after that I just opened my eyes and was like "I'm in my DR, scrolling through my phone" and just fixated on that feeling. Oh cute top on Pinterest? "Wow that would look cute on *insert person from DR*". I laughed at what was funny and just acted like that person. And I was legit just on my phone until 2 AM practically doom scrolling but in my DR self?

And when I got to go to sleep I just affirmed that I was in my DR and to not stress it because why are you stressing over something that you already have???

(Oh btw while I was scrolling on Pinterest yesterday while in that state, I think I shifted??? Because a pin next to the one that I looked at and returned back to home had changed!!! It only changed colors though but still I was so freaked cause I looked up and down for the one that I saw but it wasn't there? (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠! And also I didn't really give a damn because I affirmed that I have shifted thousands of times and don't really fixiate on "I wanna shift" BECAUSE IVE ALREADY SHIFTED THOUSANDS OF TIMES TO MY DR)

But when I woke up and saw my CR I just affirmed that I already had shifted to my DR and was just back for whatever sake!!! -⁠ᄒ⁠��⁠ᄒ⁠-

Now it's the next day and I'm still just affirming and partially being in the wish fulfilled state?

Well I took a nap after a heavy meal and had a lucid dream. Before I fell asleep I had an affirmation tape going and affirmed a bit that I was in my DR and again tried to embody as much as I wanted to and honestly ended with the thought of "why am I trying so hard??? I'm a master shifter bro, I can shift with a command and I'm legit already in my DR so why am I stressing?" And fell asleep after fighting my overthinking୧⁠(⁠＾⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠＾⁠)⁠୨

But why was my dream so annoying????

I was chilling with my best friends family when I noticed that I was in a dream and laid down on the ground and started trying to flipping shift and my overthinkness was controlling my dream bruh? T-T

AND MY MF MIND STARTED FIGHTING BACK AGAINST ME??? AND I COULD FEEL MYSELF SLOWLY SHIFTING BUT THAT DAMN OMG IM GONNA LOSE IT

it started questioning me about my reality and was acting a lot like those AI's who turn their back against humanity fs like bro just lemme do my shit

ANYWAYS THAT WAS ALL THANK UUUUU BYEEEEE

Have a nice day♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

[bigdsgirl]

things that add 10 years on my life from episode 9:

seeing Do Guk's ring

him caring for her after she fainted

him STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TO THINK OF AN ANSWER TO HER QUESTION *flails*

Yi Joo in that dress, oh my lord

the dramatic ass music

her dropping the mic on her dad, like oh HELL YES.

Do Guk and the secretary bonding <3 big baby brother in law energy

"I could maim her in death and it wouldn't be enough" - sir I am 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

girls day with MIL, Do Na & their cousin <3

them sitting! on the couch! watching together! i love them! my angels!

Do Guk being a good boss, even though my brain went to "thanks for everything where you fucked up so hard I got my dream girl"

secretary's resignation and application <3 <3 i love him

omg PARTY TIME AT THE CUTIES

DO NA's LAVENDER SUIT MA'AM PLS

she has a family 😭😭😭

THEIR FLIRTING, "YI JOO IS ALWAYS PRETTY" BYEEEEEEEEEE

red alert, they are being cute as they walk, send me into space

"because I have you and my family" get the fuck out

holding hands +20 years on my life

oh my god they are fucking scheming for her i am emotional

"my intelligent wife is right" king

the LOOK

STILL HOLDING HANDS GTFO

wait

what

he-- oh my god

i am HYPERVENTILATING

KISS ON CHEEK

THEN GOES BACK FOR MORE?????

WITH HANDS????

JAW IS ON THE FLOOR -- she just GIGGLES GET OUT

oh he's in scary husband mode, and i love this.

Yi Joo in the blue top, ma'am holy fuck

i love love love how they did the mother revelation - so well done. its heart wrenching, full of bitterness but also love. so so good.

seeing step mommy cower, ohhhhhh this is GOOD.

SHE GOES HOME AND HUGS HIM AFKLJADSLKFJALDK. he is her home!!!!!!!!!!!! and he is overjoyed.

Honey? Do Guk, you are living for this. and i am too babes!!!

RIP DAT PAGE GRANDPA!!!!!

"ill take you to hell with me" HELL YEAH

bruh, every time they stare at each other, i die a little bit inside, i love them so much

daddio pulling out the DNA results heheh, step mommy is mad

oh Yi Joo and Do Guk are here together! in coordinating outfits! Power couple status, achieved

DONT TOUCH MY WIFE HE SAYS!

GRANDPAAAAS HERE LFGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

NOW I CAN SEEEEEEE MY HALLLOOOOOOOO

[ahhhsami]

AO3 Writer 20 Questions

Saw @thatonebirdwrites answer these questions focused on AO3 writers and thought it'd be fun to answer them too!

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

Day dreaming, music, and other media (books, movies, TV series).

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

This is the main question I wanted to answer because I wanted to just praise people and share their works!

A_M_Nicholson since I really adore their AUs and amazing vibes you get from their settings. The characters are always so interesting and they're able to maintain the characters' personalities and traits even though they are in an AU.

RaeDMagdon since her stories introduced me to omegaverse. She also cranks out solid works consistently and it's extremely impressive and admirable.

Xaibaugrove's writing makes you feel things through her words. Each chapter, paragraph, and even sentence is so well thought out and her story telling is to die for. Plus the depth and details she goes into for the surroundings is beautiful and immersive.

Tabsbee writes for Genshin Impact and I adore her style of writing and the modern AU settings she uses. Everything she posts is a banger. Plus they feed my need for more JeanLisa stories!

AnotherShotofBourbon was one of the first fic writers I ever read in the korrasami fandom. They started a series of soulmate AUs and I adore them so much! Their new works are also just as exciting!

Velvet95 has super unique and fun AUs. They're working on their sequel to a galactic sci-fi story that they had created a while ago and just as the first part, it's super enjoyable and creative!

AsamiOnTop has a behemoth of a fic (I think almost 300k words) and it's such a fun read. I loved seeing her growth from chapter 1 to the ending and it's always so admirable seeing people wrap up long fics like hers!

kittymannequin is another OG korrasami writer that inspired me to write fics myself. Whether her stories are for TLOK or Arcane or another fandom, it's always a delight to read.

tumblr blogs: @raedmagdon @xaibaugrove @tabsbee @abronzeagegod @kittymannequin @asamiontop

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

There's a handful but here are the ones that come to mind; Vi & Caitlyn from Arcane, Jean & Lisa & Beidou & Clorinde from Genshin Impact.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

I lean away from tropes that delve into Family dynamics. Mainly pregnancy since I actually don't like babies...

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

Get an idea

Jot down a rough plan

Start writing and stray instantly from the plan

Get a new plot bunny and fight with myself whether to continue what I've written or scrap it for a new shiny story

Obviously the 4th step is where things become truly cursed.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

Since I write so many AUs, the world building aspects are my favorite.

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

I've had to research a lot of things... but the weirdest usually revolve around bodily injuries or time period research to keep things as accurate as possible when needed. If you need to know how to prepare opium like they did in the 1800s... I got you.

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

Grammar 100%. But I also think breaking grammar rules are okay for vibes, bruh.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

It's one I'm currently working on and have been for years. It's the next chapter of Start Again and I'm struggling to progress the story in a way that I like. I've written and scrapped it so many times that I've lost count at this point.

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

All the time...

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

It'd have to be Korra. She's got such a special spot in my heart that I don't think I could choose anyone else.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

College AUs just keep coming back even when I think I've had enough of them.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Other books. I don't have a book in particular, but just reading other books and fics is helpful. I've also joined a local writer's guild that has been helpful too!

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

I read/mumble my stories aloud to myself to see if things come out clunky. I also have a wonderful partner that betas the majority of my stories and I couldn't be more grateful for her.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

SUMMARY. God damn, I will spend more time on a fucking summary than the story. I will also be lazy at times and just copy and paste an excerpt if I'm at a real loss.

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

A huge factor for me is if I personally like it, BUT hits/kudos/comments are always appreciated. The goal is to share my stories with people and for them to enjoy their time reading, so it's always nice to receive all of those. I don't gauge much off of bookmarks since I often write explicit fics, which tend to be privately bookmarked or not bookmarked at all.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

I make playlists for stories/chapters. I don't do them individually for characters. I wouldn't be surprised if I have 50 or so playlists for my writing though.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

When it comes to the story, I'd want the artist to do art for one that resonates with them. One that somehow inspires them. And oh man, when it comes to specific artists, I'm not sure since there are so many amazing ones. I've recently been inspired by @seijousai and am writing a story inspired by their Clorivia art. @ppyuuingles art is super wholesome and adorable. I love their JeanLisa stuff. I also have always adored @persnickety-doodles style of drawing when it comes to Korrasami. In the past I had the pleasure to collaborate with @unii-outlawed and later commissioned her. If you don't know her, then definitely check out her stunning artwork! Other amazing artists that deserve a follow are @ttanaart, @kf1n3, and @mimiendos (follow their twitter).

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

Erm... posted on AO3 there's 20 unfinished stories BUT I also have over 100 completed ones. As for the WIPs that are written and not posted... that's also probably in the 20s. It goes back to all of the plot bunnies that I get and the battles I lose which results in partially written stories.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

Write what you want. Even if you feel that it may be niche there'll definitely be people out there that will read and enjoy it!

[saltminerising]

when i was 15 i was wondering what the average number of eggs per nest was and i sent out a question on the suggestions forum and some fucking late 20 year old went "Ermm actually the average is [some fucking number] it doesnt matter what you THINK it should be.... facts don't care about your feelings!!!" like bruh i was 15

anyway im 21 now so if i become anything like that guy at some kid on the forums i need yall to start hitting me with sticks thanks

[alwayscryingoverdannyb]

for the tea questions! 1, 4, 11, 15 and 21 - i'm nosy :)

1 How did you come to choose your current profession or lifestyle? profession was an accident. I was a receptionist, then I did backoffice and then I got offered a junior consultant position and seeing as I was overall pretty much fucked I didn't give a damn and said "why not." and then I had a good boss and it made it feel worthwhile to try to get better at it. somewhere along the way the job started to be fun and gave me sense of accomplishment and here I am, a senior consultant :)) as for lifestyle - bruh a ton of therapy. I stopped trying to "fix" things about me I didn't like and leaned into adjusting my life to suit who I actually am. (I'm a 20-80 sunshine-grump mix with extremely low social batteries and fierce need for personal space and time.)

4 Do you have any habits or quirks that others find unique or strange? I actually asked my best friend bc I needed someone else's perspective :D bc how would I know it's strange to other people when it's normal to me? And she said the following: - when I'm really happy about something, I do a small but whole-body wiggle of joy, apparently - I have very specific requirements for temperature regulation (I'm too hot quite often and feel warmer than everybody else 100% of the time. I also takes way longer to feel cold than most people) - I have thick, heavy hair and I put it up in a bun in a very specific way and apparently to other people it's so fast it looks like a ninja trick

11 Do you have any coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety or fear? yes, I've developed some over the years. when I can't do anything about the situation, I try to distract myself and shift my focus to something else (book/podcast... ideally nothing to do with our reality), I also isolate myself (I rarely want consoling or a pep talk) and go to sleep. and then my brain resets overnight and it's always better in the morning. lots of it has to do simply with life experience - I often say to myself "shut up nerd you always think this and it's literally never that bad." so again. therapy helped.

15 What kind of music do you listen to, if any? there's a reasonably wide range of genres I listen to but I tend to hyper focus on a small selection of artists/songs for long periods of time. like, abt every 2-3 years I have an "eminem month" and then I don't listen to him for a couple years, you know what I mean? but if I go the other way around, I'd say I //don't// listen to anything harder than linkin park, no house, edm, dnb, ska.. and I don't really know the contemporary pop either - no ed sheeran, no taylor, no sabrina carpenter for me. no shade, it just doesn't speak to me. and yes, sometimes it makes me feel like I live under a rock. but that rock is called oasis and I like it.

21 Is there someone who has significantly influenced your life? I'm gonna leave my mom out of this bc that's an obvious answer (and would be like 15k words) but first people to come to mind are two of the bosses that I've had at this job. Possibly first positive/healthy male authority figures I've ever had - them showing trust in me and my professional competence has truly been life changing and confidence building. Also being told "I like you so much as a friend!" by someome who (in my dumb head) only tolerated me, has been a paradigm shift. I think about that moment every time my brain is telling me people must, obviously, hate me.

thank you for asking! I had a lot of fun thinking about these ^_^

[kenobster]

Nine (or however many) people you'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @smoosey, @willameena, @underacalicosky, and probably others from a while ago longer, but I can't remember 😅Thank you!!! ❤️

Last Song: Set Fire to the Rain by Adele played on the radio this morning, which was great for me because I 100% consider it a Palpakin song 🥰

Favorite Color: Red, the same shade as Thor's cape from the MCU

Currently Watching: Been watching Criminal Minds but kinda lost interest for a while. Now I'm just watching The Bad Batch season 3 and rewatching random Higher Ground episodes

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Sweet yah, savory is okay, spicy is noooo. 😖

Relationship Status: i've never enjoyed this question, and i just realized that I don't have to answer it lmao, so there.

Current Obsession: I'm between obsessions right now, and it is agony. 😩 Feels like my biggest obsessions right now are sleep.... my DBT therapy workbook and worksheets (I know that sounds weird but I often get obsessed with homework type things).... and the stench of distressed!omega Anakin in bittodeath's noncon/post-noncon fics for @anakin-rarepairs-week (link to fic one... link to fic two...). Judge me all you want; I am a simple woman with simple tastes and needs.

Last Thing You Googled: "weary emoji" because I'm typing this on my work computer and had to copy paste each emoji. 😅

Tag a few friends, new and old: Bruh I have no clue who has done this already. I've been in a fugue state for about 20 million hours over the course of one and a half business days. The only people I can think of who might not have been tagged are @ooboowoonkoonooboo and @gothicastles (if either of you would like to do it ^_^). Otherwise, consider this an open invitation to any single one of my followers. :)

[nani-nonny]

So okay, idk and i forgot how long it's been since i read the last chapter but god this is good! It's like that one funny sound effect "God it's so good! It's so good and tasty!" This chapter is like this!!

It's so good that my cheek hurts from smiling and i can't stop smiling and i blame you for it/lh/hj

Seeing how F!Leo knock on the door and try to mimic his move is bringing me to nostalgia of the past i remember doing something like this with my parents and i end up getting laughed at (because it is!!)

Baby Lou punching the door with her baby hand made me laugh and melt immediately xD when they entered and April was nervous? God i felt so bad for her and i wasn't the one who destroyed drax.

Then she explodes - rightfully - after Leo asked her and even call out how rude it is to cut people off which i find satisfied?! Because people cut me off and see it normal and am like "Excuse me, am not done talking" and she explains how despite how cruel it was and how fucked up it was, it was still draxum from the PAST!! You can't take your anger out on him!!!

And bro took it like a G, he took it like a champ!! Eve tho Leo feel 80% guilty - am about to end that 20% off - draxum deserves an apology.

About the trip thing? When April mentioned it i was like "Why didn't f!Leo remember it if it was planned out??" And it's turned out last minute planned!! Tho part of me see it fair i have multiple questions like: Why take CJ?! Shouldn't he see his baby sister and spend peaceful time with his dad? Are they gonna leave F!Leo half injured and dip?! Will they take draxum or throw him back in his apartment or just leave him in medbey?! God!! Justice for the alchemist!!

And then Donnie finally acknowledging Leo and baby Lou's existence is making me happy and laughing like bro really didn't hear the door open or them talking or even April snapping?! Bruh.

AND HE MADE A CRIB for baby lou!! I was like, didn't future draxum knew this would happen?! And since the crib happened, will the mini fridge happen too??👀👀 imagine a smoll fridge connected to her crib!!

AND TGEN THE STAR OF THE SHOW APPEAR!! RAPHAEL!!! MY BABY!! Who rightfully a tiny, bit traumatized. And when he held baby lou in his palm?! AWWWW I WAS FEELING GIDDINES IN MY STOMACH!! THE GOOD TYPE!! LORD I CAN IMAGINE HOW SMOLL SHE IS!! AND HOW BIG RAPH'S PALM IS! 😭✨✨✨✨

And then little Leo appear and demand future Leo's ass back in the bed!

Seeing how big Leo is just trying to shield baby lou as he goes to sleep.. And that realization she's his baby? God it's perfect.. So perfect

*twirls hair* I’m glad you like it, I wrote it thinking of you and hoping you’d enjoy the soft moments! :D

April is such a great character I love her so much :) I liked her portion so much

Oh! About the trip! It was in the last chapter, but Splinter explained that it’s for Leonardo to get to know the baby, especially since CJ already had some time with her while he was unconscious! And it was also explained that CJ would return to the lair after the third day on the trip! Yeah, I probably should have made a heads up to check the previous chapter for a little reminder of where we are hehe

We’ll find out about Draxum and the trip in the next chapter hehe

Donnie is just like me hehe hyper focused and unaware of his surroundings while working on something :) but isn’t it so thoughtful and so “Donnie” to be building something for the new family member? <3

Raphy almost like F!Raphael, so cautious with the baby but years of experience separates the two! While F!Raph is comfortable and confident in holding his niece, Raphy is so afraid hahaha!

Lil Leo is such a mood killer /j (he’s just very concerned about his patient hahaha!)

But the ending was my favorite part hehe baby and papa are so cute :))))

Thanks for reading and leaving your fun comment/review like always sniper! I wrote this one for you so I’m glad you like it! I made sure to make it super soft :) <3

[kokoshfts]

The finished story that I was telling on tiktok so yeah just a recap what happened was I think I was in the room with my sister (idk what was on the TV but it was probably sum interesting) and yeah but like I think it switched over to the McDonald's place idek why but there was sum girl I must've went to McDonald's with her and my sister and like there was this like big square thing for chargers (I think it was like not placed right idk maybe the beginning part of her charger was too big) and she was like how is the chargers gone fit here if it's like that or sum but I don't think I cared cause I don't have iPhone products like that but like we thought of sum and was like wait what if we charge both of them at the same time oh wait no first she plugged her phone in and then we said if we charge it at the same time so we was like ight bet if these mfs charge at the same time we buying everything in this bitch so we was all hyped and like she was putting the phones together cause if it connects that way (if I was to describe it it's like when people put they phones together and get each other's number) and like at first we didn't think it would work but then it did like the charging signal thing popped up on both and we was HYPED so we went to the front and the cashier lady was up there and me and my sister was just ordering random shii so we was sitting there and like there was like a machine like putting down icing or sum and I was like ts look like a documentary and we just started dying bruh the worker looked kinda annoyed but she was kinda laughing too she was probably like (can y'all hurry up) in her head or sum and then my sister pulled out this random ass pinkalicous ass cupcake and i was like holon i want that TELL ME WHY the lady went to the back and was like 'aye do we still got those cupcakes from 20 years ago' and they said yeah (idk if i should question if its been sitting there for 20 years or if they just still have it on the menu somewhere) also idk who was gonna pay for all that so🤷🏾‍♀️

[wilsons-striped-ties]

tc challenge (days 1-30 one shot)

original post here!

1. Do you think your TC will teach you next year?

unfortunately ive already graduated from high school :(

2. If you have to move to another city, how would you tell your TC? Would you confess to them? How?

i would be really casual and ask him for a photo again when i meet him in school and after taking it, before leaving, ill tell him that im moving to another city, maybe write him a message or give him a gift too... maybe wont confess but would pour my soul out a little in the letter cause i do like writing handwritten notes to the people i love

3. Have you written a letter to your TC? If no, would you ever do that and what would be in it? If yes, what did you write?

i did as a teachers' day gift, i forgot what i wrote but ill be writing one tomorrow cause teachers day celebration is this thursday!

4. Are you attracted to your TC in an emotional or sexual way? Or both?

EMOTIONAL and physical but not really sexual, its more like a really silly crush

5. How did you meet your TC? Do you remember your first conversation?

he was my history teacher in year three and four, not sure what our first conversation was but it probably was probably a question in class?

6. Have you had a serious problem because you have a TC? If not, what problem could you have to deal with?

nope

7. Have you ever had an argument with your TC?

nope

8. Do you see your TC outside of school?

NOOO :(

9. On a scale of 1-10, how badly do you want to kiss your TC?

like seven but especially when we talk and hes just reassuring me or joking with me, its like an eleven

10. If your TC is married, would you (still) want a relationship with them?

hes married but... :'

11. Do you have a photo with your TC? If yes, how did you get it?

YESSS i always try to grab pictures with him so much (like i think six pictures so far??) that he initiated one on his own saying that i always take pictures with him...

12. Do you think anyone you haven’t told about your TC knows you’re crushing on them?

lots of people know hes my favourite teacher and i think some know he favours me to some extent cause hes always bragging about me or using me as a good example

13. When is your last class with your TC? Will you see them in summer break?

it was last year cause i graduated :(

14. Have you ever mentioned teacher crushes/the tcc to your TC?

nope

15. Do you think one of your classmates has feelings for your TC?

nope

16. Do you get jealous when you see your TC with other students?

a little bit...

17. If you and your TC had a long distance relationship, do you think it would work out?

it may, actually

18. What is your TC’s degree? Do you like what they studied?

im not sure what his degree is but i'd LOVE to find out, maybe i'll pop the question next time

19. Have you ever cried about your TC? If yes, why?

nope! maybe once over his subject but thats about it

20. Have you ever cried in front of your TC? If yes, what happened?

nope :' to him im this strong, self driven student but i actually really am not

21. Do you know about your TC’s family? If yes, what do you know? What else would you like to know?

i know he has three kids and their general age, but nothing much else apart from his daughter being quite a big harry potter fan. i would prefer to know more about him than his family but at this point anything is more than wonderful

22. What would happen if you found out your TC is dating another student?

oh goodness i dont know

23. Have you ever secretly taken pictures of your TC?

no but i do screenshot pictures with him in there LMAO

24. Do you like your TC’s classes? Are they easy or difficult?

MY FAVOURITE CLASS BRUH its insanely tough but ive cracked the secret to scoring in them so they became the easiest class

25. Describe a special moment you had with your TC.

i think when i gave him his birthday cupcakes :'

26. Are you in love with your TC? How do they make you feel?

honestly maybe HAHHA he makes me feel appreciated and seen in a way, like someone cares about me and he genuinely believes in me which makes me feel like a human being and he makes me feel wanted

27. Have you ever gotten angry at your TC? Is there anything you don’t like about them?

nope actually, i think i just dont like it when he leaves me on seen? but hes quite a dry texter in a sense so it isnt just me

28. Has your TC ever given you a compliment?

YEAH hes called me his star history student and said im very self driven and that my values will bring me success and that he has full confidence in me and that im a model student :'

29. Have you ever given your TC a compliment?

ive told him hes my favourite teacher HAHAH but i had a chance to flirt with him but chickened outttt

30. Will you remember your TC when you don’t see them anymore? Will you keep in touch?

hes etched into my very soul, and we still do keep in touch!

[dojae-huh]

yeah i still remember doppus were complaining as well back then. Honestlyy.. can i curse to all of these fans on X? Why complain everyday 😂😂. I think unless your idols are suing the company for taking advantage on them, i think it’s safe to say they’re just fine. Everything gotta be mistreatment nowadays. Be it doppu vals tyf 127zen dreamzen nctzen or wtv. Bruh does sm even read from these templates from X? If you’re num 1 on naver then i think they’d care. And isn’t there the recent wkorea interview too? The solo album is coming people. The promotion will be coming. The rollout will be coming. With how hard jaehyun is working and with his vision i think we could be expecting sth spectacular from him. Why not turn this energy by posting more clips on his solo work before, making fun guests on what concept, genre etc that he’ll be making. I know we want ‘official’ announcement from sm but with how many times articles and interview saying his album will be on third quarter, i think that’s confirmation enough? Has there been any cancellations before? Genuinely askin tho. If there is then… we burn sm😈. I personally think it’ll be early sept.

I suppose it's a combination of the victim mentality (my bias and by extention me, as his fan, are the most mistreated), unification around a common enemy (SM sabotages/hates my bias/group), not knowing k-pop history (how SM operated in the past, its approach to doing business), and staying in the bubble (self-reinforcing misconceptions, co-stans not questioning your wrong opinions, echoing them).

It becomes ridiculous though, heh. We have 4 neos going solos in a row, and each time their solo-stans cry they have it the worst. I especially cackled at the part where a Jae's stan )who wrote that article pointing out the mistreatment) said that everyone had their schedules cleared for their album preparations but SM made Jae work in parallell to other activities. When we know from bts videos that both Tae and Do prepared in between 127 concerts and recordings, BA activities.

Neos sometimes complain about SM, but it's normal. Noone likes their workplace 100%. Sasaengs, antis who create false rumours and fans who are ready to attack and blame at any "misconduct" of their bias are those who really bring stress. It's not SM who led Renjun to mental issues and a need to go on a hiatus (while it's SM who allows him to take a break despite a world tour).

I think we'll get a lot of videos DJJ style, similar to the "Horizon" MV, that aesthetic. I also won't be surprised if Jae will have fanmeets like Tae and Ten, not full concerts. He said there will be 4-6 songs on the EP, he won't have enough material (Do's setlist has 20 songs + a medley).

Fans are usually not very inventive with the promotion of their biases. Doyoung impressed k-pop fans who visited K-con, his fans rejoice but don't write posts with links to his MVs, information about his solo, etc. If something trends for a day, there are key words - use it.

SM's new girl group was postponed several times. It was first time promised to be debuted 2 years ago? Then last year, then this spring, finally, this winter. It won't happen to Jae though. The debut may come later than it was originally planned (in September, as you said), but it will happen.

[ctrsara]

Heroes on Heroes

click ^ to read on AO3

I hadn't done an @idk-bruh-20 prompt in a while, so I went way back to the early ones and picked one that was completely different than anything I've done.

So this is for them, for all the wonderful prompts they've collected that I've gotten to use!

Heroes on Heroes has been asking for an Iron Man/Spider-Man interview for some time, and Pepper finally granted it.

Also fill the Irondad-Bingo-2023 BLACK card: Lights, Camera, Action.

[As the lights come up, we see three men seated with their chairs in a triangle formation. They are all wearing business casual, but only one of them seems comfortable. Tony Stark, Iron Man, is on the right, looking a little resigned, a professional half-smile on his face. He looks completely relaxed in his gray suit, button up, and tie, and his posture is casual. Across from him, looking excited but anxious, is Peter Parker. His identity as Spiderman is relatively new information, and he hasn’t done many interviews since that knowledge became public.  He’s wearing dark slacks with a sport coat over a white button-up, which is open at the top. He looks older than his actual age, but not nearly as comfortable as the older superhero. In between the two well-known public figures is Scott Lang, who is helpfully wearing an Ant-man tie with his suit, which seems to be itching uncomfortably. He has a big smile pasted on his face, and is holding a stack of white cards.]

Scott Lang: Welcome, everyone! I know, this is unusual for this show to have three superheroes up here instead of two, but this is an unusual pair. Unfortunately I won’t be answering any questions of my own today, just leading the discussion.

[Stark raises an eyebrow at Lang, and exchanges a glance with Parker, both of their mouths quirking slightly at some inside joke.]

Lang: You might be wondering why this interview is happening in a more traditional format than the two heroes asking each other questions. An Iron Man/Spiderman interview has been the leading request for months now, ever since the Batman/Superman interview finally happened. While that one was basically just a bunch of cryptic exchanges, the problem with this set of heroes was a little closer to home. Isn’t that right, Tony?

Tony Stark [looking bored, but not actually annoyed]: Get on with it Lang. We’ve got reservations.

Peter Parker: Where are we eating, Mr. Stark?

Stark: We'll talking about it later. Let’s knock this out first.

Lang: So… yeah. Usually these interviews are the heroes asking each other a bunch of questions to get to know each other better, which has been a really fun format. I mean, who can forget the Black Widow/Green Lantern interview? Or the Ant-man/Nightwing one? [He pauses to smile widely at the camera]

Stark: Lang.

Lang: Oh, sorry. But the reason this took so long to schedule was because these two particular heroes are already pretty familiar with each other. Wouldn’t you say that’s right, Peter?

Parker: Well, considering Mr. Stark’s been mentoring me in his lab and as a superhero for like three years now, yeah. I’d say we know each other pretty well.

Lang: That’s fantastic! Just, wow. But our viewers still have questions, so I’m here to ask those, even if you don’t have any for each other.

[He pauses, smiling in turn at each superhero. Parker is perched on the edge of his chair, looking ready for a question. Stark is propping his cheek up with an elbow on his chair, and uses his other hand the gesture Lang to continue.]

Lang: Tony, I think we have a good idea of why you created Iron Man, but what was it that has kept you at it all these years? I mean, it’s got to wear on you.

Stark: Are you calling me old?

Lang [looking nervous all of a sudden]: Uh, no, of course not, I just--

Stark: Relax, Lang. I am old. And probably the only reason I’m still suiting up regularly is because of this guy over here. [He nods towards the younger superhero.] Someone has to keep an eye on him, or he’ll either accidentally take over the world, or die trying to save a cat or something.

Parker [rolling his eyes]: Oh, c’mon, Mr. Stark. You know neither of those are true. And you do it because you like the thrill. You enjoy the missions.

Stark: Keep tellin’ yourself that, kid.

Lang: Okay. Uh, let’s move on. Peter, how do you feel it has shaped you as a superhero to have Mr. Stark to look up to and get advice from?

Parker: Oh, you know. Pretty much anything he did, I just made sure to do the opposite, and things have turned out pretty good for me so far.

Stark [sitting up a little and shooting a glare, or possibly a smirk, at the younger hero] : Why you little--

Lang: Let’s make sure we’re using viewer-friendly language, Mr. Stark! [he laughs nervously] Um, for the next question, Peter, what would you say has been one of the biggest perks of having your powers?

Parker: Um, I like being able to help people. Having been the one needing help a lot of my life until I got my abilities, I really love being able to step in and make things better for the little guy. 

Lang: And what would you say is one of the harder parts of your job? 

Parker [fidgeting] : Um, the opposite. When I can’t help people, I guess. When I can’t save them. [The younger hero looks pretty affected, and Lang clears his throat, switching his focus to Stark, who is unsubtly glaring at him.]

Lang [voice cracking a little]: Um, Tony? The viewers want to know what your workout routine looks like.

Stark: Really? That’s what they’re asking? Uh, for cardio I box, usually, or we spar. If I don’t stay on top of my game there, Nat really enjoys wiping the floor with me. Weights twice a week when we’re not on missions.

Lang: Nat. That’s the Black Widow for viewers who may be unaware. [He straightens up and puffs his chest out just a little.] Peter, what about you? What’s your workout routine?

Stark: Don’t ask him. He doesn’t even have to work out to stay in shape. I swear, hanging out with the super soldiers and this kid is giving me a complex.

Parker [sputtering] : I work out!

Stark: Doing what, kid? Bench-pressing city buses?

Parker: I swing, like a lot. It’s hard work!

Stark: Yeah, it sounds like it, with all the whooping you do during it.

Parker: I do not “whoop.”

Stark: Sure you don’t.

Lang: Uh, if I may… Along with that, do you find that eating a certain way helps you stay in shape so you’re ready for all these world-ending disasters?

Stark [looking bored again]: Laying it on a little thick, don’t you think? And just normal stuff. I like a good steak, but I try to eat vegetarian a lot, and get as many good foods in as I can. Of course it makes a difference.

Parker: Smoothies. You drink smoothies. That’s about it, as far as health food, Mr. Stark.

Stark: We’ve talked about this. I can fit more nutrition in one smoothie than you usually do in a week of fast food and pizza, so you don’t get to judge how I--

Parker: It’s not my fault I need so many calories! Do you know how many of your disgusting smoothies I’d have to drink in a day to get what I need, it would--

Stark: Would it kill you to drink one ? I just want to see a few vegetables on your plate every once in a while. Just because you have a super metabolism doesn’t mean you should--

Lang [looking flustered, interrupting]: Heeeey! Um, let’s maybe move on to the next question. Peter, the viewers are curious if your powers might be inheritable. Have you done any research on that, and come up with any hypotheses? [He squints at the paper.] Is that right? Hypothesises? Hypothesae?

Parker [obviously nonplussed]: Um…

Stark: Pretty personal there, Lang, especially since he’s technically still a minor. Let’s skip that one.

Lang: Oh. What about you, then? [He stares expectantly at Stark]

Stark [staring blankly at Lang]: Are you asking if my Iron Man abilities are inheritable?

Lang: Oh. I guess that doesn’t… doesn’t make too much sense.

Stark: No, not really. But if you mean my ability to create the kind of tech I do, then I guess so. 

[Lang beams at his answer, though he still looks confused, then tilts his head, looking back and forth between the two superheroes.]

Lang: You guys aren’t uh, like related or anything, right? Because you do kinda look alike, and I know you’ve said Peter here can keep up with you in your lab, right? I swear that was one of the questions… [He starts rifling through his papers, while Stark looks quizzically at him.]

Stark: Unfortunately, no. You think I’d keep that a secret? 

[Parker just shakes his head and smiles slightly at Stark while Lang looks at the next card.]

Lang: Peter, you aren’t officially an Avenger just yet, right?

Parker [sighing] : My aunt won’t let me. She said we’d talk about it after I graduate. [He looks unimpressed, but Stark looks satisfied, somehow.]

Lang: Are there any other new members, perhaps, waiting in the wings? That’s not a question from me, because obviously I’d be in the know, but from the public.

Parker: Well, I guess there’s--

Stark: Buh-buh-buh-buh! Stop talking, junior. Spoilers! [Then, to Lang:] If you’re in the know as much as you say you are, you know you should have thrown that question out yourself. Next!

[Lang shuffles through the cards, looking nervously for a safer question.]

Lang : Peter, what made you decide it was best to keep your identity a secret for so long, when none of the other big superheroes have secret identities?

[Stark gives Parker a look, raising his eyebrows, but Parker shakes his head, and prepares to answer.]

Parker: Well, I wasn’t a big superhero, you know? I was just a little guy, doing little things, and I wasn’t an adult, obviously, and… I just wanted to try to live my life normally, you know? And I didn’t want any bad guys I made mad coming after my family or friends. I didn’t have a good way to protect them at the time, unless I was with them.

Lang: That makes sense. [He seems to realize something.] Hey, how did that work with all the minor versus adult stuff? [He looks at Stark] Whoooooaaaa, did you know he was a minor when you recruited him for that Germany stuff? Because--

Stark: Seriously, Lang. They’re going to have to edit this out. Watch your mouth, Ant-guy. And yes, I did know Peter was a minor. It’s all kind of complicated, and it’s all been worked out, but Germany is not a public topic, according to like seventeen government agencies. [He raised his eyes and voice to the side.] Make sure that gets taken out.

Lang [looking flustered and sheepish] : Uh, I … just a minute, I don’t know what--

Stark: Hey. You’ve got this. You’re doing fine. Before you ask a question, though, give it a moment’s thought, okay? And don’t stray from the cards again, yeah? The legal department’s at least vetted those.

Lang: Right. Okay. [He takes a deep breath and picks another card.] So, Tony, is it easier to work with Spider-Man, when it’s obvious that he lacks in experience, and you probably worry about him a little bit, or easier to work with more experienced heroes who you’re maybe not as familiar with?

[Parker looks a little put out at this question, but Stark shoots him a quelling look and he sits back and takes a deep breath.]

Stark: I’d choose to work with Pete any day of the week. Not only can we anticipate what the other is going to do, but he’s crazy-overpowered and ridiculously talented. Great instincts, most of the time, and he’s fantastic at coming up with off-the-cuff plans that usually work.

Parker [obviously flustered at the praise] : Uh, yeah. I’d rather work with him too.

Lang [glancing back and forth between the two] : Uh… yeah. Okay, then. Next question. Um… What do you like to do when you’re not superhero-ing? [He looks at Parker expectantly.]

Parker: Is that for me? Uh… with Tony, or by myself?

Lang: Either?

Parker: Well, I guess I like hanging out with my friends. I do Acadec, uh, I mean Academic Decathlon, and we still like to build Legos and have movie nights and normal friend stuff. But otherwise, I’d say most of my free time is spent in the lab with Tony.

[Lang looks surprised, but then remembrance floods his face.]

Lang: Oh, that’s right. You actually intern with him, too, don’t you? Hey, how many times have you guys blown stuff up? [This is directed at Parker, but Stark answers.]

Stark [smirking]: Accidentally, or on purpose? 

Parker [whining]: Tony. [Then to Lang:] I plead the fifth.

Stark [rolling his eyes] : That doesn’t work in interviews, Pete. Just in court.

[Parker sighs and folds his arms over his chest, obviously still choosing not to answer.]

Lang: We only have time for one more question. [He looks down at his papers.]

Lang: Peter, you first. If you could go back, and somehow avoid the circumstances that gave you your powers, and just live an ordinary life, would you do it?

Parker: Well, some days, I think I would have said yes. Sometimes it’s really hard, and I just want to be normal. And I’ve seen a lot of things I’d rather not see. Sometimes it’s been a little too much, and I have wished I could be a normal teenager. [He exchanges a glance with Stark, who looks a little sad, and raises his eyebrows minutely at the boy. He doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anyone else around them.]  

Parker [glances back at Lang]: But then I think about all the people I have been able to help, and I’m glad. And I think about the people I’ve met and been able to work through while doing all this superhero stuff. [He looks at Stark and smiles.] And I wouldn’t give that up for any kind of normal life.

Lang [smiles at Parker, then looks at Stark]: What about you?

Stark [He has a slight smile on his face after Parker’s answer] : Me? I’m not enhanced. 

Lang: I mean, if you could go back and decide to become Iron Man again, or not, considering all you’ve gone through, would you still do it? 

Stark [face turned to Lang, but eyes fixed on Parker, whose head is tilted curiously.]: Absolutely. No question. For all the same reasons. 

[The two superheroes ignore Lang, appearing to have a conversation with their faces instead.]

Lang: So, ugh, thanks for coming I guess, Iron Man, and Spider-Man. It’s been great having you on Heroes On Heroes. 

Stark: We’re good then? [He claps his hands on his thighs and stands up quickly.] C’mon kid, we don’t want to be late.

Parker [has taken off his mic, but is still close enough for it to pick up]: Where are we going? I’m starving! 

Stark [is in the midst of leaving, so his voice is quiet] : Le Grenouille. Pep’s meeting us there.

Parker: French food? No, seriously? I wanted pizza!

Stark: And I’ve told you, you really need to expand your palette, because… [sound fades away as they leave the room.]

Lang: We’re done, right? Can I take this mic off now? I mean, if there’s another interview you want me to do, I’m totally up for it. Or maybe tomorrow?

Camera person: We’re done. You can just leave it there on the chair.

Lang: Oh, okay. I’ll just do that. Whoops! I dropped it. Is that okay? I think it’s fine. I’ll just put it right here.

[Scene cuts to black.]