#bruce finally takes a whole weekend off work and vigilanting from stress

[britcision]

Okay listen

Team Phantom’s in Gotham

Rogue shenanigans ensue, they all end up working with the bats

Tucker and Tim? Besties

Damian and Sam? Trading stabbing tips (just because Sam doesn’t do a lot of practical stabbing doesn’t mean she lacks theory)

Dick and Jazz? Bemoaning being the older while Dick gives flagrant heart eyes and Jazz pretends she can’t tell

Batman? Watching Danny desperately vibrating with the urge to adopt

Danny? Watching Jason with those exact same eyes

Batman makes an offer for future cooperation

Danny perks up “yeah that’d be great, we just need a go between for Amity Park and Gotham!”

Batman, internally: THE TIME HAS COME NOW WE GRAB THE PAPERS AND STEAL ADOPT THE CHILDREN

Before he can grab the bat-doption papers though

Danny isn’t finished

Danny lifts Jason over his head in one hand

“We’ll borrow Red Hood, you guys don’t work together much so he can relocate right?”

Sam, immediately cottoning on, grabbing Damian

“Well they don’t work together we should bring Robin for communicating, Hood can train us”

Tucker, slightly slower but sees Tim beginning to make a face

“Oh yeah! And Red Robin can come visit and check out the ghost tech!”

(*Tim orgasms*)

Jazz, sees what they’re doing, sees Batman’s paperwork headers still in his hands, makes matters worse, grabs Dick similarly in one hand

“This is a great plan guys. Nightwing and I can coordinate and keep Amity Park safe while you’re training!”

The bats, of course, can spot a pattern

All unclaimed bats latch on with feeble excuses

Bruce, befuddled, out-adopted, watching team Phantom leave will all the babies, still holding his paperwork

Alfred finds him there four hours later cuz everyone else just went upstairs for dinner but oop they broke the big bat