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pparkerized · 2 years ago

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a new kind of enemy || tasm roleswap au

summary: after the tragic death of his uncle, peter isn't handling it so well. with his desire to exact revenge on the man who killed him growing stronger, until one day, he realizes just how he can give himself the power to fight back. but of course, there are consequences to his actions.

originally posted to ao3 in 2021 but later deleted when i thought about rewriting it, i was set on rewriting it but then stuff got in the way and i forgot. but reposting the full thing here for that one anon who asked and whoever else wants to read,, hope you like it!

word count: 2,716 words

[fic under the cut!!]

~~~

The lab was shrouded in complete darkness, but Peter didn't care. He was far past caring the moment he made his decision to come here. It would have been almost entirely impossible for someone like him, a teenager most of all, to be able to break into Oscorp like this — such a high security lab with guards sweeping the perimeter from every corner.

But he'd quickly discovered how to get past them. After all, Gwen had told him all that he needed in order to get back inside. But not even she knew what he was about to do right now. His mind wandered back to the field trip when he and Gwen had wandered off and the blonde had shown him a few of Oscorp's secrets, Peter had been in awe at all of them. Then again what egghead wouldn't be?

For a moment Peter asked himself, what had brought him here? Why was he so willing to do this? But very quickly the answer had made itself clear in his mind. He lacked the strength and ability, the power to avenge his Uncle who had died just four months prior to this. Ben hadn't deserved his fate, he'd deserved to live a long and happy life — not have it cut short by some asshole with a gun…

It was that day Peter had decided that people just weren't worth it. Good ones were rare to come across, but even then, how could you know how to trust them? The police were worthless, they hadn't done anything to help. And both himself and Aunt May were suffering because of it.

So here Peter was, standing in the vaults of Oscorp, staring at the vial of serum on the desk. A more rational side of himself argued that this was a terrible idea. That he was going to destroy himself just so he could exact his revenge — but another part of his mind, the one that was burning with a desire for revenge was egging him on, telling him that it was a good idea, the perfect idea. And that it'd all be worth it once the man who had murdered his Uncle was taken to justice. Proper justice.

Once he'd gotten these powers and took them out for a little test drive, he'd set on finding the criminal and he'd make him pay. Aunt May believed that he was on a school trip for the next few days so he'd have plenty of time to search.

Peter wasn't stupid, unlike the rest of the employees at Oscorp. He knew that Spider-Man, New York's latest vigilante, had gotten his powers from the venom of a spider that had been part of an experiment here. He'd done plenty of research, in fact, he'd even taken a brief glance of the room when Gwen had been showing him through the different labs at Oscorp. Sure, the experiment had been shut down and the spiders all killed, but Peter knew that Oscorp would've kept at least some of the spider's venom somewhere. They'd most likely be hoping to use it for something.

So if Peter could get this venom and use it on himself? He'd have the same powers as Spider-Man. And that was all he needed in order to avenge Uncle Ben.

His eyes raked over the desk and he quickly set to work on finding the serum. It was here, he was sure of it, this was the only place it could be. Oscorp's deepest vaults. He snorted to himself, for high security there wasn't exactly much security going on to keep anyone out.

There! His eyes flashed with determination as he found what he was looking for. A vial cased within some glass that was filled with green liquid. A note was attached to it, Peter's eyes narrowed as he read the messy writing.

SPIDER-VENOM EXPERIMENT #111

DESTROY

He scoffed lightly and opened the case, taking what was inside in his hands and he gazed at it with wonder. So, this was it? This was what had granted Spider-Man his powers.

Peter then proceeded to snatch a clean syringe off of the desk beside him, carefully pouring the liquid out into it.

He held it up, adjusting his glasses and he swallowed hard. This was it. It was now or never. If he was caught now… Then he'd be done for, and he'd have no opportunity like this one ever again. He'd never be able to do what he needed because like this, he was weak, frail — he wouldn't be able to do anything on his own this way.

Before he could dwell more on the thought, or even listen to the rational part of his mind screaming at him to stop, Peter jabbed the syringe into his arm. He watched as the green liquid disappeared into his bloodstream and pulled the syringe out of his skin once it was completely empty.

There was a fluttering feeling in his chest for a moment and he shifted uncomfortably. His arm started aching where he'd put the syringe in and concern welled up inside him. Maybe this was just part of the process, a little pain, after all it was a foreign substance that his body had never dealt with before. Spider-Man had probably gone through the same thing.

Suddenly, a sharp pain sliced its way through his body and Peter let out a sharp cry, crumpling to the floor as his legs gave way from underneath him. His body trembled as his skin burned, he felt almost as if he were on fire, he knew that wasn't the case but in this moment he felt like it. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as another scream tore through his throat, almost ripping his vocal cords apart as the fire in his body burned hotter and more violently. Every part of his body was in pain, and he desperately wanted it to stop.

His heart was racing and his breathing was coming out in ragged, uneven pants. He felt his ears burn even hotter, the tips especially — his teeth ached with such pain that Peter had to keep his jaw unlocked. He clawed at the ground, not expecting a harsh screeching sound to fill his ears as he did so, but he didn't have time to think about that. He curled in on himself as the burning continued to spread throughout his body, he couldn't see, he couldn't breathe, he could barely hear anything over his own pained shrieks.

After a couple of seconds of more intense pain, the pain decreased, enabling him to move out of the fetal position he was currently in. The burning subsided a little, allowing him to shakily push himself to his feet — but the pain wasn't entirely gone. With a shuddering breath Peter heaved himself up to lean against the desk,

He stood there motionless for a few minutes, until there was nothing but a cold fire etching through his veins. As each minute passed, the pain started easing and he finally let himself shift in place, still gasping for breath as he hadn't been able to breath at all before.

He'd done it. He'd actually done it.

He glanced down where his hand was still gripping his shirt tightly and to his utmost surprise his skin had become a pale, sickly green color and his fingernails were unnaturally sharp. He furrowed his brow and turned in place, his trembling hand lifted up a large shard of glass that had lay broken on the desk.

And when he looked up at his reflection, he let out a surprised breathy chuckle. Of course. Things always came with a price. Peter ground his teeth together, his teeth which had also sharpened themselves to a point. He clenched his fists, not caring if his nails dug into his skin so much that they drew blood.

When Spider-Man had gotten his powers, he'd become a miraculous hero, a sight to see — but why, then he'd used the very same venom on himself, had it turned him into...

This?

His skin, like what he had seen on his arm, was now vastly paler — with darker dark green veins visible through his skin, on his neck and cheek. His ears had also become pointy at the tips; he noted that it must have happened when the tip of his ears had burned significantly more painfully earlier. And what caught Peter's attention most were his eyes.

His irises, which had been a light chocolate brown, were now a piercing green — the sclera had also changed, becoming what Peter saw was a mix of yellow and green. His glasses had fallen off when he'd collapsed to the floor, but Peter had barely noticed, he could see clearly without them now.

He dropped the shard with a sharp inhale. He could barely think straight, yet he had a million thoughts racing through his mind at that moment. What was he going to do like this? How could he go home to Aunt May looking like this? He'd give her a heart attack just by walking through the door!

He started tugging at his hair as his thoughts spiraled on. What had he done to himself? Why did he turn into this? He didn't feel anymore powerful, he just felt… Strange. He was a monster he was—

Peter stopped tugging violently at his hair as he let out an abrupt laugh that stopped him in his thoughts.

Another laugh followed. And another. And another. After that he found himself shaking with uncontrollable laughter. And among the manic laughs, a choked sob escaped his lips as the reality of the situation hit him once again. His smile, which he didn't even notice he was doing at first, became mangled on his face until it appeared more like a grimace.

He turned again, his body slumping as he did so, and then his gaze fell on something before him, something he hadn't even noticed when he'd first entered the room. He'd been too preoccupied with the venom that he'd completely looked past this.

It was what appeared to be a black and green suit of armor. Attached to it was a glider coloured in the same fashion. He stumbled forward, almost drawn to it in a way and he looked in awe at what was now before him. Maybe… Maybe he could use this. If the venom had only cursed him with this new appearance rather than bless him with powers, perhaps he could use this to his advantage.

He lifted a clawed finger and froze as a loud, shrieking alarm filled his ears and he seized up in panic. Shit. He glanced back towards the suit and narrowed his eyes, he didn't have time to think about it, he needed to get the hell out of here while he still could. Not caring if the glass pierced his skin, Peter punched right through the glass — he must've gotten some kind of strength because he never would've been able to do that before. Or maybe it was just the adrenaline rushing through him at that moment.

As the blaring alarm continued on, Peter gazed at the armor once more, a more satisfied expression settled on his face. The edges of his lips curled upwards into a grin, and his green eyes were filled with a crazed gleam.

He could work with this. Maybe he should take it for a little test drive…

~~~

The suit was pretty fantastic to say the least. Though the armor was powerful and could deal with a lot of damage, it still felt light on his body and not as heavy as he thought it would've been. The glider had been tricky to figure out at first, but soon enough he was gliding above the skyscrapers in New York like it was nothing. If anything, it was rather a bit like skating, something Peter was very familiar with. All he needed to do was stay on the board and keep his balance, by leaning to the side to steer in each direction and to lean towards or back whenever he wanted to accelerate or go backwards.

His body was still throbbing with pain, but it was barely noticeable now and it was becoming more numb with each passing second. His mind however was still a complete jumble of thoughts, no matter what he did he couldn't clear it out.

However, there was one thought that he caught out of all of the rest.

Long blonde hair, with a star tattooed on his left wrist.

A vivid flash of the person in his mind caused him to clench his teeth in his anger.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, right, the entire reason why he'd done this to himself in the first place.

Knowing that there'd be no luck finding his target tonight, Peter wondered if he was still even in Manhattan. But he wouldn't give up, not until justice was finally delivered. And then maybe he could deliver the good news to Aunt May. That the man who had ripped their family apart was dealt with, then again, she'd ask questions and Peter wasn't so sure she'd be able to comprehend what had happened to him. Which was why he'd taken all he needed to know about finding something to reverse the effects, including the last remnants of what had been left in the syringe containing the spider's venom.

He'd been lucky to get out of there before security had arrived. No doubt now they'd be trying to figure out who took their high-tech suit and glider, and the venom along with it. Harry would probably have a lot to deal with, Peter felt a twinge of sympathy for his friend, he'd only just gotten back into town two months prior and already he'd have so much to do.

Especially since Norman had died, then again, Norman hadn't exactly been the best person. And he had a feeling that maybe this suit had been for him, after all, Peter knew that Norman had been desperately searching for a way to cure himself of the genetic disease that had slowly been eating him up from the inside for years. Peter was glad that Harry hadn't shown symptoms of it just yet.

He came to a halt at the top of a building near the empire state and he cast his gaze over the city.

He couldn't find the man who had murdered his Uncle alone. Not in a city as big as New York that was for sure. He needed help. Which was something he never thought he'd say. Spider-Man was an option, though the vigilante had only been on the streets for about two months so far and he didn't have such a good reputation with the police — Peter remembered Gwen telling him about her father's frequent rants about him — maybe he could be of some help. He needed to find him and fast.

It seemed that with the transformation his lust for revenge had only increased. He'd become even more desperate to seek out the criminal and put an end to it all. And he would, oh he wouldn't stop until he found that man and made him wish that he'd never been born. Peter swore that he would do whatever it took to ensure he got his revenge, he would kill him—

Usually, such a dark and intrusive thought such as that would have made him cringe in disgust and fear. But now with the venom having changed so much of him he barely felt anything towards these new tainted thoughts. Besides, this man was terrible, a murderer, he deserved it. Peter would not only avenge Ben but also make sure that his murderer would never kill another person again. Killing him was the only way to put a stop to this suffering that Peter was unable to endure anymore.

He'd need help though. He needed Spider-Man's help. His mouth then set into a thin line and his eyes gleamed as he looked down on the streets of Manhattan.

He needed to get the attention of Spider-Man. And he knew just how to do it.

#marvel #the amazing spider man #tasm #tasm au #parksborn #peter parker #harry osborn #spider man #tasm fic #tasm fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #tasm roleswap au

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maimingaffairs · 2 years ago

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anon i am so sorry… my post got deleted somehow so i had to repost 🤨 anyways this is terrible because i wrote it at 3 am but at least it’s proofread!

warnings: SMUT (18+ only!)

word count: 2.6k

Oblivious (aleksander morozova x AFAB!reader)

Aleksander had always had a soft spot for the good things in the world. The beautiful things.

You were both.

From the moment he met you, he knew you were.

The two of you had met when you arrived in Os Alta after running away from Ketterdam. Being a known Healer had been getting dangerous, and the wrong crowds often sought your services out.

The first time he’d met you personally was a spectacle, really. You’d been brought in to heal a deep cut on the back of Vasily Lantsov’s head because he had slipped drunkenly down the stairs. Aleksander was almost always present when his Grisha were needed in The Grand Palace, and he stood back and watched as you healed Vasily with ease. It hadn’t even been a moment later before the young prince started to flirt with you.

You awkwardly took a step away from him, which he in turn took one towards you. You had laughed nervously and before you could take another step back, he had grabbed onto your kefta and tried to pull you towards him. You jumped backwards quickly and the kefta came loose from his fingers and you fell backwards, catching yourself at an odd angle on your elbows.

Aleksander was quick to come help you up and he bid Vasily goodbye sharply before he whisked you out of the room and back to the Little Palace. You hadn’t spoken a word, in fact, you trembled under the hand that The General had laid on your upper back to guide you. He noticed your trembling after a moment and the second you two had reached the solace of the Little Palace, you turned to him and clasped your hands together nervously.

Keep reading

“Oh, General, I am so terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to make a scene in front of the prince, I just was nervous and-“

He cut you off by holding a hand up and he gave you a gentle smile.

“Everyone knows Vasily doesn’t know personal boundaries. It was not your fault, y/n.” He responded and you instantly calmed down, relieved to not be in trouble with the most powerful Grisha in Ravka.

Since then, Aleksander had been curious of the clumsy, nervous little Healer that had been brought to him, and he made a point to get to know you better.

After a year of being at The Little Palace, you and The General had gotten very close, and you considered him to be your best friend.

He however, considered you to be more. He hadn’t found himself so taken with a single person for nearly four hundred years, and the worst part was you didn’t even seem to realize it.

He tried to make it known to you, but he wasn’t quite sure how at first, so he’d do little things. For example, one night after you’d been caught in the rain out riding with him, he came to your quarters and swaddled your shivering form in his warmest cloak. Or another time when he took you on a walk out to the forest and he’d plucked flowers from the ground and tucked them in your hair.

Eventually it grew into more. He’d shower you with compliments often. He became much touchier with you, embracing you for long periods of time, giving you little cheek and forehead kisses when he greeted you or bid you goodbye.

He’d even revealed his name to you one night while the two of you laid in his bed. You liked coming to his room late at night, and he’d entertain you by messing with his shadows above your head. You’d watch them intently as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world while he watched you with the same passion.

But you still didn’t seem to get it.

It had been about two weeks since you’d seen Aleksander, and he had just returned from a little trip to the frontlines to check up on everything and bring more troops to the Second Army. When he arrived at the Palace, you excitedly greeted him on his horse and he wrapped both arms around you, almost tackling you to the ground.

“Take me with you next time! I about died of boredom here. I can’t keep mending David’s paper cuts, it’s so mundane.” You complained playfully.

“Take you with me? And have you distract me? Keep dreaming, pretty.” He commented and you sighed dramatically and fell backwards, knowing he’d catch you.

He did, of course and he pulled you up straight again and then grabbed your hand, leading you towards the Little Palace.

“Perhaps you’d like to accompany me to dinner with the King this evening?” He asked slowly and looked down at you.

You glanced up at him with your eyebrow raised and you shook your head, “I’m not saying no. But is that the kind of thing you do with friends? I mean, I feel like it’s an opportunity wasted on me. You could take David or Genya. The King likes them more, anyway.” You stated.

He nearly rolled his eyes. Friends. How oblivious could one person be?

“Perhaps. But I wanted you to come. Because you are important to me, and there’s no one else I’d rather spend my time with, truth be told.” He explained and pushed open the door to the palace. You both walked inside hand in hand and you glanced up at Aleksander with a bright smile.

“I’ll go then. If I’m that important, how could I miss it?”

You had no idea.

The dinner had gone well. Aleksander convinced you eagerly to wear a black kefta that matched his own, and then upon seeing you in it, his heart utterly melted. It was hard to keep his focus on anything other than you at dinner, and that was for certain.

The walk back to The Little Palace was a quiet one. You had your head leaned against his arm while the two of you walked and he glanced down at you with a small smile.

“Would you care to join me back in my chambers for a little while?” He asked and you looked up at him.

Your eyes pierced his own and the urge to kiss you right there in the hall was inexplicable. He had to tear his eyes away from yours while he walked you the rest of the way to his room. Once inside, he closed the doors behind both of you and he turned to you.

“Did you have an enjoyable night?” He asked softly and you walked around his war table, dragging your finger along the edge.

“Mhm. It was nice, thank you, Aleksander.” You said sweetly and looked back at him over your shoulder.

Your eyes caught his once again and you gave him a soft smile, “You look nice.” You commented and then turned your attention back to the war table. You touched the model of The Fold in front of you and you let out a giggle.

“Considering how much time you spend hovering over this, I’d expect a more lifelike model.” You teased and twisted a bit of your hair around your finger.

“Well. That’s the best we did.” He teased back and approached you, sending a tendril of shadow through the air to tap your nose. You scrunched your nose up cutely and reached up to run your fingers through the cold shadow wisps in front of your face.

“I love it when you do that. Your shadows are so… lovely.” You hummed, and with that, he sent more little tendrils of shadow your way, loving the way you giggled, stared at them in awe, and reached out to touch them as if they were fragile.

You had never been one to shy away from his shadows. Perhaps you were one of the only ones like that, too. He kept his eyes on you while you dragged your finger through the shadowy air before you, and he suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take the aching feeling in his chest when he looked at you, the burning desire to have you as his own, the indisputable and undeniable fact that he was in love with you.

He found himself moving forward at alarming speed and he grabbed your face in his hands desperately. He stared down at you wildly and the gaze you returned was bewildered and confused.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, your voice so little and nervous.

He shook his head and he pulled your face closer to his so that he could kiss between your eyes.

“No. But I need you to listen to me.” He said eagerly and you gave him a little nod, allowing him to continue.

“Y/n. You are one of the most oblivious people I’ve met in my life. How much more obvious can I be?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Aleksander.” You replied nervously and your eyes raked his face.

“I am in love with you, for the love of the Saints, y/n. I am so in love with you, it brings me to my knees. For months now, I have only fallen harder and harder for you, and you just don’t seem to even notice. You sleep in my bed, I hold your hand, I’m glued to your side whenever I’m here, I take you to events, I show you off when you wear black… I don’t understand how you don’t get it! I am in love with you, so painstakingly in love.”

You blinked a few times up at him and then you let out a mirthful little giggle.

“Oh, oh my. Aleksander, why didn’t you say something sooner?” You asked and raised your eyebrows up at him.

Your reaction clearly wasn’t the one he was expecting and he stared down at you with wide eyes, his hands still holding your face gently.

“You should have just told me, because then I would’ve told you that I’m so, so in love with you.” You said with another little laugh.

Aleksander didn’t even have time to feel relieved and elated about your reply before you were standing on your toes and dragging him down to you by his shirt to plant a warm kiss on his lips.

Your kiss now wasn’t like any of the times he’d ever imagined kissing you. It was so much better. He kissed you back with a sweetness that was almost tangible between your lips and your hands found his neatly combed hair.

He broke the kiss breathlessly and he stared down at you in the dim light of his bedroom. You bit down on your bottom lip as you looked up at him and he shook his head.

“You’re intoxicating.” Was all he said before he dove back down and kissed you again, this time backing you up against the table before he lifted you up onto it. He stood with your legs on either side of his thighs and he placed a sloppy kiss on either corner of your lips before he kissed down your chin and up along your jawline.

You let out a breathy moan when his lips brushed across the spot just between your ear and jaw, and he closed his eyes tightly. He sucked on the skin over that spot and pulled back once he was satisfied with the blossom of broken capillaries just underneath your skin, creating a mark that would stay for the next few coming days. You reached up and pushed his kefta off of his shoulders as he began to kiss down the side of your neck sloppily and you shivered.

“Aleksander.” You whispered and he pulled back slowly to look down at you questioningly.

You glanced up into his eyes and then you let out a little whine.

“Take off your shirt please.” You said softly, your cheeks heating up.

He let out a little chuckle at your request but he didn’t argue as he took off his layers of tops. While he was undressing himself, you rid yourself of your own kefta and you slipped down off of the table and turned around in front of him to show him the buttons of your dress.

“I’ll need help with this too.” You said shyly and he wasted absolutely no time, moving in and unbuttoning your dress as quickly as he could. When he pushed it off of your shoulders, he brought his hands around to rest on your bare torso, drawing your back up against his chest tightly.

Your dress hung loosely at your waist and you wiggled a bit against him to get the skirts to fall to the floor. You stepped out of them and then you took his hands and brought them up to your lips. You placed slow kisses on each of his fingertips and he let out a long sigh, your lips feeling like the softest silks in the world to him.

He gently pulled one hand away from your grip while you kissed the other and he reached down to gently slip his fingers down into your underwear. He rested his chin down against your shoulder and he very slowly dragged his middle finger in two little circles around your clit. You gasped against his fingertips and you froze, your body moving backwards against his even more.

He repeated the same motion a few more times before you grabbed his wrist and shook your head.

“Oh, please don’t tease me. Please.” You whispered and he let out a little chuckle. Normally he’d be more inclined to make you beg for him, but he’d save that for another day.

He spun you around and reached behind you carelessly and swept all the models of landmarks and such off of his war table and he hoisted you back up onto it.

He quickly reached up and pulled your underwear down until they were around your knees and you could easily kick them off, and he pushed your legs apart, standing in between them. You leaned back against the table on your elbows and looked up at him, letting out a needy whine.

“Aleksander, please.” You breathed and he brought his hand up to your cunt.

He looked up into your eyes for a while before he inched his fingers upwards through your folds, gathering your slick on his fingertips. You leaned your head backwards and let out a little sigh of relief and he took this as encouragement to press his thumb down against your clit. You let out a little mewl at the new contact and he had never heard such a pretty sound before. He started slowly, his thumb gently circling your clit.

“Look at you, being such a good, patient little thing.” He murmured appreciatively. He glanced down at his hand on your core and he continued to move his thumb against your sensitive bundle of nerves.

After a moment of this, he brought his free hand up and he pushed your legs open further before he traced his pointer finger around your entrance. You wiggled your hips down closer to his hand, feeling utterly empty and Aleksander only clicked his tongue and murmured something about having patience up at you.

A few agonizing moments went by of him running his finger along your entrance, when without warning, he pushed it inside of you. You clenched around his finger and you let out a little moan, waiting for him to move again. He steadily continued the movement over your clit as he curled the finger inside of you up a few times and you raised your hips off of the table.

“Oh, please. More.” You begged and lifted your head to stare down at him. He simply gave you a wink before he pulled his finger out of you. You didn’t even have time to be disappointed before he was plunging two fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out of you steadily. You moaned again, this time much more breathlessly and he quickened his pace on your clit along with his fingers inside of you. Within moments, he had you gasping and whining, chasing a release that was so close.

You sat and pleaded quietly with him to go faster and when he finally obliged, you snapped. You let out a sharp gasp and then moaned loudly. He didn’t even need your moans to know you were cumming, because you tightened impossibly around his fingers and he hummed.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Good job.” He murmured and continued to fuck you with his fingers through your orgasm. When you’d finally calmed yourself, he slowly pulled his fingers out of you and brought them up to your lips.

You opened your eyes to see his fingers in front of your face and you opened your mouth obediently and took them inside.

“Good, taste yourself, angel.” He breathed and then pulled his fingers away from your mouth only to put them in his own. He licked them clean before he gently grabbed you by the thighs and held your legs on either side of his hips and lifted you off of the table.

The hardness in his pants brushed up against your newly sensitive core and you gasped, earning yet another chuckle from Aleksander. He carried you into his bedroom and then gently tossed you down on his bed. He stood over you as you stared up at him with eyes glazed over with need and he kicked his boots off and yanked his pants off along with his underwear.

He looked down at you and stroked himself a few times before he leaned over your body and brushed the tip of his cock against your entrance a few times.

“If I knew this is how it would end, I would’ve confessed my love for you sooner.” He teased with a breathy laugh.

You smiled blissfully up at the man above you and you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck. You pulled him down for a slow kiss, and he slipped himself inside of you, earning a gasp. You distractedly stopped kissing him and he pulled away from your lips slightly as he slowly slid himself into you fully. Once you’d taken all of him, he stayed still for a moment, giving you time to adjust.

You tossed your head back and then you tapped the back of his neck, “Aleksander, I do adore you, but I need you to move.”

He did as you asked and he slowly pulled out before plunging himself back inside of you, a lewd, wet sound echoing off of the walls.

He let out a low groan and he closed his eyes, leaning his head down so that his forehead touched yours.

“You feel so good, my love. Taking me so well.” He grunted and easily found an initially slow pace that the both of you enjoyed.

You pressed your fingertips into his shoulder blades and you let out a few soft moans in the form of his name. You pressed your lips to his ear and you let out a whimper against it.

“Faster, please.” You whispered and he had no choice but to increase the pace of which his cock was pumping in and out of you at, just to earn a few more sweet moans from you.

It wasn’t long before all that was audible in the room was the sound of skin slapping together and your high pitched moans, mixing with his low praises. Your second climax approached you quickly, and Aleksander deduced this by the way you were clenching around his cock. He grabbed onto one of your legs tightly and hoisted it up around his waist and he thrust in particularly sharply, and he hit a spot deep inside of you that had you screaming his name and digging your nails into his back.

“Come on, my love. Cum for me. You’ve done so well, let me reward you.” He whispered and you dragged your nails down his back, whimpering and moaning simultaneously.

He continued with his sharp thrusts up into you, hitting that spot within you each time, and after just a few more quick strokes, you tightened your leg around his waist and threw your head back as your second orgasm of the night washed over your entire body in waves. You clung to him shakily as he continued to fuck you, chasing his own high. It wasn’t long after you had came that he finished as well, releasing inside of you. He stayed still over you for a few moments while you panted and slowly calmed down, and finally he pulled out of you and rolled onto his back, pulling you on top of him.

“Have you really been hinting at being in love with me for months now?” You asked after moments of post-coital silence.

Aleksander rolled his eyes and snorted, pulling you tightly down against his chest.

“I have. And I was just about to give up.”

“Nah. You could never give up on me.” You said with a little giggle and Aleksander smiled and placed a few kisses against your cheek.

“Oh, milaya. I know.”

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x you #grishaverse #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #the darkling x reader #the darkling #the darkling imagine #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine

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flightfoot · 2 years ago

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ML fic Underrated Masterpieces

So there are some ML fics that are absolutely brilliant, but haven’t gotten as much attention as I think they deserve. So I’m gonna give that attention to them, and hopefully make them more well known! This isn’t limited to any particular year. BTW, in case any of the authors haven’t made the connection, I’m Keyseeker on AO3. All Multi-chap fics must have fewer than 300 kudos, and all one-shots must have fewer than 100 kudos, and they must be complete in order to count.

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Multichap-fics

The Ghost in the Machine by @jheqiawrites

As part of this function, Adrien knew about Monarch, the akuma butterflies, the victims, and, of course Ladybug and Cat Noir, the heroes of Paris. He was authorized to contact the Ladyblog as well as the citywide alert system if one of his platforms was active during an akuma manifestation, allowing his friends to get somewhere safe until Ladybug and Cat Noir could deal with the situation

While the necessity of these functions was disconcerting, it was programmed to be his routine so he gradually grew used to the inconsistencies. After all, humans tended to be selfish, highly inconsistent, and often flighty, but once you had observed them for a while an intelligence such as his could begin to see the patterns.

That is until she came online.

This fic is fantastic! I adored diving into Adrien Alliance’s thoughts, his emotions, as he slowly evolved, became more aware, and more... well, human, I guess you could say. You can easily tell he’s based on Adrien with how similar his character traits are, how he latches onto Marinette especially, and even get jealous at times. But also how he grows from that, becomes a better person, and ultimately values other people and their happiness above himself. He has some magnificent character growth that all culminates in a heart-wrenching finale!

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in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien's heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean."

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you're the only one who remembers?

Yes, I know I already recced this fic in my top ML fics of 2022 post, no, I don’t care. The fact that this hasn’t gotten more attention is a travesty. It just... it’s its own complete story and Adrien’s and Marinette’s fumbling around, trying to figure out what to do after Gabriel tears them apart, finding their way to each other despite everything... it’s amazing.

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Stealing Freedom by @rosie-b

Adrien Agreste was a good person. Marinette knew this to be true, of course; she wouldn’t be marrying him if he were some irredeemable villain. No, her fiancé was practically the opposite of evil. He cooed over babies and kittens, literally stopped to smell the roses and always brought large bouquets of them to dates. He had trouble killing spiders and bugs, begging his partner to take on the task whenever she was around to save him. Adrien was the sweetest person Marinette knew, the most kindhearted, the most forgiving; he was almost too perfect for her sometimes.

But now, Marinette knew that the same Adrien who still blushed when his fiancée kissed him was also the well-known terror of Paris, Cat Walker.

Now, this fic really SHOULD have been in my top fics for 2022 post. I’m a sucker for enemies au and I love a good Sentiadrien fic, so combining the two of them here is great! I feel so bad for Adrien, and I love that the heroes know from early on that Cat Walker isn’t really the enemy here. It’s short, but it’s sweet.

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Strangely Familiar by @sunfoxfic

Alya Césaire’s life is perfect. Indeed, between the success of the Ladyblog, how well she’s doing in school, and the fact that she’s a superhero who has never bore the weight of a crisis of epic proportions, her life almost couldn’t be better. Almost.

But Alya has always been a go-getter, and so she’ll chase after that perfect life if it kills her. Which is how she ends up rushing to move out of her father’s apartment and in with Marinette, Adrien, and a complete stranger: Nino Lahiffe. And in fact, her life does seem perfect — she and Nino are fast friends. They spend a lot of time together and get to know each other really well.

But in the end, fortunate situations will bear unfortunate truths, and she learns things about herself that aren’t quite comfortable. Like I said, though: Alya has always been a go-getter, and she won’t let new feelings deter her from chasing after her perfect life.

This one is still criminally underrated, which I’m guessing is because it’s DJWifi-centric. It’s really worth checking out though, it really fleshes Alya and Nino out, and there are even some Lovesquare-esque shenanigans going on, since they don’t know each other’s identities.

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life’s waiting to begin by kopycat_101

Marc is the shy and soft-spoken Prince of the Underworld, used to being ignored at best and feared at worst. He greatly admires Nathaniel, the Prince of Nature, who’s much too out of his league. Handsome, kind, charming, and charmingly modest, with hair as red as a rose and talented artists' hands.

Yearning for the love of a nature deity when he’s a deity of death is beyond ridiculous, so Marc keeps his hopes low.

But an encounter at the border between the Underworld and the surface leads the two to speaking, which leads to Marc showing Nathaniel his writing and Nathaniel his art. And from there blooms a beautiful friendship…Or maybe more.

This is a marvelous Hades and Persephone inspired story, with a fair bit of drama going on near the end. Marc and Nathaniel may be from two different worlds, and their powers may clash, but that won’t keep them from seeing each other, however much the other gods may wish otherwise.

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Forging Our Own Ending by Ryleesheep

It was one thing, to know your father was Hawkmoth. It was entirely another thing to watch him transform with your own eyes. Adrien watched it again and again, his Lady by his side, determined to find the truth. No matter how many tries it would take.

Brilliant Hawkmoth Takedown fic here, it differentiates itself from most of the pack with how strategic it is, especially with the use of Second Chance. I love how it shows every use of it, with all the differing reactions and information gained from every loop, until finally everything can be put into motion.

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Into the Unknown by NUMBER1ANGIRL

Marinette Dupain-Cheng has been Ladybug for 12 years now. She’s been fighting Hawkmoth by herself in this time, without the partner she was promised. When Hawkmoth is defeated, she starts fighting a new villain, and the strange ache of something she wasn’t aware was missing.

This fic is great. Gabriel sent Adrien away immediately after he received the ring, so he never even got to meet Ladybug. She ended up assembling an entire team to compensate, and when they finally defeated Hawkmoth over a decade later, Adrien’s called back to France in order to deal with Gabriel’s affairs. Which Marinette is very suspicious of...

Oh also Marinette and Luka had a daughter from a one-night stand, and while the two of them are great friends, they’re not married. The daughter, Sara, is great and a lot more perceptive than she’s given credit for. Quite the little Adrienette shipper too!

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Gabriel’s Big Mistake by LilacEnthusiast and Mr_BlackCat

Gabriel makes a bad decision, and it backfires horribly. Shenanigans ensue.

This is a fantastic and brilliant fic. It’s a “crack treated seriously” type fic, with Gabriel doing a ceremony to try to make himself more powerful, and turning himself into a butterfly as a result. His attempts to write a note to Nathalie are less than successful. He’s attacked by a bird, saved by Nino, and becomes his pet butterfly, Subwoofer. But his butterfly mind slowly starts overwriting his human one over time...

This is both a hilarious and an angsty fic, all wrapped into one. Kind of reminds me of how Fullmetal Alchemist is both hilarious and tragic at times, though this one leans more towards the humor. It also has a sequel, which is sadly incomplete, but still worth checking out. Seriously, check out this fic!

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Butterflies Don’t Speak: Gabriel’s Version by Falling Papillon

Nathalie gets struck with an akuma. Her mind gets sent a year into the future. She starts to live her days backwards up to the day she was akumatized.

Gabriel and Nathalie fall in love with each other backwards.

For doctor who fans, you know the Doctor and River Songs? It’s like that but Gabenath and ACTUALLY reversed timelines and instead of “spoilers” its “butterflies dont speak”

This story is in Gabriel’s pov. Nathalie’s pov is in a separate story since they are both going through time differently. I recommend reading one pov at a time but you can read it however you wish!

Butterflies Don’t Speak: Nathalie’s Version by Falling Papillon

Nathalie gets struck with an akuma. Her mind gets sent a year into the future. She starts to live her days backwards up to the day she was akumatized.

Gabriel and Nathalie fall in love with each other backwards.

For doctor who fans, you know the Doctor and River Songs? It’s like that but Gabenath and ACTUALLY reversed timelines and instead of “spoilers” its “butterflies dont speak”

This story is in Nathalie’s pov. Gabriel’s pov is in a separate story since they are both going through time differently. I recommend reading one pov at a time but you can read it however you wish!

So truthfully? These stories (or this story more like, it’s the same story from two different perspectives) is the reason I made this list, and I specifically waited until they were complete to post this rec list.

I have ADORED reading through them both as the author posted them, usually posting one chapter of each at the same time, so that we, the audience, learned what was going on at the same time as the characters. And then to see the crossover point, to get to where we saw what one character experienced, and then to see it from the others point of view... it was just great.

The romance-in-reverse, with both of them slowly warming up to the idea of getting together, of letting go of trying to bring Emilie back, and enjoying what they have together instead, and then having to watch as the other person slowly forgets everything they’ve experienced together as they go forwards or backwards in time (depending on whose perspective you’re reading) is just... it’s great.

And the way both Gabriel and Nathalie start off frustrated with how the other person refuses to tell them what the future holds, until they get used to it, and then gradually as they move through the story THEY end up being the one concealing information... the reversed passage of time just makes for such interesting scenarios!

Oooh, I also love how it complicated gift-giving, since objects only travel forwards, not backwards in time. Gabriel and Adrien have to be creative about gift-giving in order to have any success!

Just... this format, with the way time works, and how it affects both Gabriel and Nathalie, just... it’s very creative, I love it a lot, and honestly I’m probably gonna keep it in mind because I could see wanting to write a story for some other couple at some point in time using a similar idea.

One-shots

I Won’t Let You by @generalluxun

After Gabriel's defeat, two individuals not party to the celebration run into each other, and find each other.

I’ve talked about this one before and I’ll talk about it again. Or rather, rave XD.

The way that Chloe and Felix almost dance around each other to try to get the other person to understand why they’re unhappy and even kind of scared, comparing who has it worse, with Chloe making Felix understand how she’s treated by her parents and the expectations society has for her, and Felix making her understand, viscerally, the sword of Damocles he’s under... it’s brilliant and poetic, and beautiful to read.

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When You Broke Me by @emmalylis

Adrien runs away from home. Gabriel simply replaces him with a sentimonster duplicate. Of course, it isn’t an exact copy…

This is short, but really intriguing, I’d love to read more of this! This new SentiAdrien is innocent and confused about what’s going on, he thinks he has amnesia, not knowing that Gabriel just full-on made him as a replacement after Adrien ran away. The original Adrien is compassionate towards him, even as he tries to figure out what’s going on and what to do.

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The Little Things by christallized

Marc's going on a date with Nath and he only has a few hours to prepare. What will they do? What should they eat? What will Marc wear? Will Nath like all the little things Marc worked so hard to set up to give them the absolutely best, most perfect date?

(Also there's an Akuma breaking reality into an endless, painful fragmentation of horror and suffering but that's not important)

This fic is just fun. Marc is mostly worried about his date, while ignoring the Welcome to Nightvale-esque horror going on all around him. The cashier may be floating in the air with his body being puppeteered around and his detached head screaming, but there’s no reason to let that ruin Marc’s date plans!

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#ml fanfic rec #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfiction #ml fanfic

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malt-rants-and-stuff · 4 months ago

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HEHEHE SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT<333 LOVED THESE NOTES SO MUCH I JUST KEEP REREADING THEM AND GIGGLING

I have some note of my own to share!! which is why this response took a bit (sorry about the dark screenshots I'm writing this in the dark at 3 am)

first off, yes I indeed reached into your mind to channel the vibes I put into this fic.

no fr though this was such a fun fic to write from my perspective as someone who has moved about 10-ish times in my life and who will surely move again. I dug into my own memories of moving out of the places I lived the longest just for this. that whole first section was inspired by the time I moved from living in my grandparents big house with tons of cousins and family, to suddenly being basically alone with my mom who was barely home. tashiro really dragged out those feelings I had and made them his own lol.

haha. yeah. to add onto this: there was a version of the draft with hanzawa haunting the narrative like this in like half the scenes. little tid-bits and mentions of his activities. but in the end that concept didn't stick bc I wanted the main focus to be on shirashiro

i wrote this while hanging out with a friend and she said they sounded quote "really fucking married" so it's nice to see that wasn't just her saying things lmao

this whole section was a fun one. the scrunchie is a bit I added after a very heated debate with myself over whether I wanted longer haired tashiro or if I wanted to have a scene of them cutting his hair. as you could probably tell I chose the longer hair

the gag gifts are in tashiro's room. while they didn't decorate much of the main sections of the apartment, their rooms are basically full of all the stuff from their old houses. he keeps the pots on his window sill and later down the line adopts some lovely little fake plants from a guy on the side of the road that turn out to be real plants. he lets shirahama name them.

the soup is a silly story. if I'm ever inclined to do a follow up to this I'd write it out fully. basically it's from ogasawara to tashiro, but he gave it to shirahama in a really awkward interaction and then sasaki mocked him for it. not pictured in that part is that miyano brought sasaki to help lift the couch, who brought oga because free labor, who brought soup because hid family said to bring a housewarming gift and he thought 'soup is warm'. some other shenanigans occur including hanzawa that we wont get into. its a fun time.

and on another personal note, the soup is inspired by my first meal in my current apartment. ive posted about it before, but my current move was an absolute disaster of legal bullshit and ridiculous time crunches that almost left me homeless. and during that time, there wasn't really a chance to think about food. it was a mad dash to move apartments in 12 hours that by some miracle worked out. so when I finally had the chance to breathe, I realized I A: had no food and B: was too tired to go get some. thankfully, my aunt stopped by during the chaos and left some surprise soup for me, and i warmed it up and ate it out of a pot with a ladle bc I couldn't find bowls or spoons. it was vegan soup and it tasted like freedom

thank you for drawing my vision and adding to it. this is so wonderful... fun fact: the headband is tashiro's. there's a deleted scene of him taking it and giving that explanation and some other things happened but it didn't feel right so it didn't make the cut. that face mask is so fun tho I love it

[rubbing my hands together] muahahaha yessss!!! the implications!!!!!

my exact feelings writing that scene

hilarious that you spotted that, it was in fact a sunnnfish reference! it actually said sunfish before but it felt too on the nose lol

this bit haunted me for a while because I couldn't figure out an animal that fully captured my vision of him. then I visited a museum and saw a hare and went "oh shit. shirahama."

Yeagh.....

i know what I wrote and it was on purpose but also in my heart they are always seated at a circular table that wobbles every time one of them leans on it and they take turns standing dramatically from it and watching it teeter

yeahhh he's grown so much!!! he's older and not much wiser and he still!! plays!!! ping pong!!!!!

another deleted scene included them playing a game that they got married in for tax (loot) benefits but I sadly let it go because it was focused around a plot line I abandoned for atmosphere purposes

here lies sunny, died from a lethal dosage of shirashiro jajsjsj

no but seriously this part was especially fun to write. I want to note in that second to last paragraph that the way he did that was on purpose very odd. he could've used just his hand to clean it off, or a paper towel, or just told shirahama and had him wash it off himself. but he didn't. it was also a very sudden full body turn. why did he do all that <-knows why

and the ponytail tashiro drawing!!!! cups him in my palms

if there were ever a b-side to this from shirahama's pov, it would mostly just be composed of a million "oh. oh." moments on loop

this whole project was a lot of fun for me mostly just from an editing standpoint. i had so much time to change and adjust scenes to make them work how i wanted. and all that left me with tons of deleted scenes and ideas i can reuse later which is awesome. thank you so much for the awesome prompt and lovely notes<333

@sunnfish okay Take Two!!! hello sunny sunnfish you wonderful sea creature! I was your secret santa for the @ssmygiftexchange! so sorry for the delay on this, my scheduled post was taken by the tumblr void and I wasn't home with my laptop to remake this post haha.

Your prompt was shirashiro college roommates au and prev pres, hanzawa, and tashiro hang out!! hope i was able to do this justice, this is officially the longest oneshot ive posted :)

Now with an Ao3 version, i would recommend reading there because Tumblr messed up some of my formatting and I can't fix it right now ^_^

Summary:

Tashiro and Shirahama are college roommates. It's a relatively peaceful life.

A non-linear story written for the sasamiya & hirakagi winter gift exchange!

As it turns out, moving in with a guy that you’ve known for almost half your life is pretty unremarkable.

Maybe it has something to do with being too familiar with each other. There have been too many sleepovers for the sound of snores to phase him, too many gym classes for the sight of skin to fluster him, too much time for anything to feel awkward between them. And yet…

And yet.

Packing your whole life into boxes is pretty hard, as it turns out. Looking around his room now it seems hard to imagine how it’ll feel to see the whole place emptied out. Cleared of every reminder of himself.

Tashiro tries not to think about it so hard as he turns back towards the closet. He’s never felt the need to go through everything he had stuffed in there until now, remnants of the past mixing with comforts of the present.

He reaches out to grab one of the hangers, pulling it free. His ping-pong jacket, he thinks despairingly, is slowly becoming small on him. His name spelled across the back in white lettering brings him back to when he first noticed. The growth spurts he’s been having refuse to slow even for a moment, and though he likes that some days, it mainly makes him face annoying things like this.

If he leaves the jacket, it will probably be packed up and put away somewhere to be forgotten. He can picture it now, sitting in a box stuffed away as it slowly fades from his memory. It makes him feel sort of heavy. But, if he takes it with him, he’s not sure it would be much better in the long run. Just holding it in his hands reminds him of how much time has passed. Of how fast it will keep passing.

He stands there, gears turning haphazardly in his mind, as he tries to breathe it all in.

Then, a knock.

His eyes dart to his doorway in surprise– knowing none of his family was home right now– only to remember that he’d invited the others to help him out.

Shirahama stands in front of him, knuckles resting against the already ajar door. His slightly bored face and tellingly awkward posture show that he hadn’t expected to be the first to arrive.

“Is your doorbell broken?” He asks as his socked feet pad their way into the room. “I tried using it, for once, but from that look I guess you didn’t hear.”

Tashiro finds himself a little amused by this, as he knows for a fact Shirahama has his own key. Perks of coming over to play games most weekends out of the year. He remembers them making jokes about going into each other's fridges while no one was home when they traded keys.

“Nah, guess I was just distracted,” He says with a casual shrug, placing the jacket back in the closet.

Shirahama gives him a questioning look. “I thought you were moving out, not back in.” His friend jokes as he passes Tashiro, grabbing a couple of shirts from the closet alongside the jacket.

He feels his eyebrow twitch in a way that reminds him a little of Hanzawa; and what a scary thought that is.

“I’m feeling indecisive.” He says, his mouth twisting to match how the word makes him feel. All twisted up and confused.

Shirahama turns to the side to face him, having stacked more clothes into his arms that look to be on the verge of falling to the floor. “About what? If you should take your whole house with you?”

That jacket. If I should re-dye my hair. Growing up. You. The future.

“What if we paint all the walls yellow?” He says instead of the hundreds of things his racing mind pushes forward.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Shirahama responds resolutely, his eyes showing no room for argument. Not that Tashiro will let that stop him.

“Or maybe green? Something bright.” He continues on, stepping away from his thoughts to grab the jacket out of the teetering pile and place it to the side. “Actually, scratch that, blue would be great too.”

Shirahama gives him a withering look that has no effect on his enthusiasm. Now that he’s thinking about it, the fact that he isn’t going to make these kinds of decisions on his own anymore is pretty fun. He’ll have a roommate, a friend to work through his troubles with. The thought makes him feel lighter.

“Hey, d’you still want this?” Shirahama asks some time later, long after Kuresawa and Miyano have come and gone. Tashiro looks up from the stack of boxes he’d just finished labeling.

“Oh, yeah I almost forgot!” He says as he takes his jacket, tying it around his waist for safekeeping. He really hopes he didn’t overestimate how much closet space he has.

It’s only a few hours after the final box has been unloaded and the moving van is hauled off when Tashiro makes a chilling discovery.

“Dude, we have no food.” He says, eyes staring at the bleak emptiness of their new fridge.

“Yup,” Shirahama responds as he walks up beside him, handing Tashiro a scrunchie in a sort of placating manner.

Tashiro’s shoulders droop with the weight of his exhaustion. Moving was one of the most tiring things he’s ever done, and coming from him that’s saying something.

Turning away from the depressing artificial fridge lighting, Tashiro turns toward the kitchen counter behind him and grabs his keys. As wrecked as he might feel, the growls of his stomach refuse to be ignored. “I’ll go buy something quick,” He says.

“Ah- wait, I have an idea,” Shirahama says suddenly. Back straightening, he moves away from the fridge of doom over to a bag of housewarming gifts the others had left. It was mostly a small array of gag gifts, little plant pots shaped like ping pong balls and a lampshade shaped like a pudding cup, but in a small container alongside the rest was something else. A saving grace for the hungry:

A tub of butter.

Tashiro looks at it in confusion, asking if his friend was really that hungry.

Shirahama smirks, “With food, no container is ever as it seems.”

He opens the tub’s lid, revealing its contents. Inside is not butter, but a large frozen serving of chicken soup. Tashiro feels his jaw drop as he gasps in disbelief.

Quickly shaking himself of his shock, Tashiro grins brightly. He takes the soup and stuffs it into the microwave, but Shirahama stops him from starting the timer.

“Y’know it would taste better if you put it in a pot instead.” Shirahama says, his hand gently clasped around Tashiro’s wrist in a way that he chooses not to internalize. His fingers are a little cold.

“But it’s already cooked.”

“So? You can still warm it up in the pot. Plus it’ll make it taste closer to how it’s supposed to.” Shirahama retorts, opening the microwave and placing the tub on the counter as he goes to try and find a pot in the sea of boxes.

Tashiro stays behind as he thinks. He hadn’t ever had a reason to go so far out of his way to warm up food before. He feels himself smile a bit, the first change he’ll have to get used to in this new life.

As it turns out, keeping a relatively small apartment clean is a little difficult when you’re living on your own as two messy 18 year olds.

They tried the whole chore chart thing at first, Shirahama said he used to have one at his parent’s house and it worked fine. But, well, it’s a little different when it’s just them.

The dishes are stood in a precarious stack, plates and glasses towering in ways gravity should never allow. Tashiro faces his task with a body radiating reluctance.

He’s been busy the entire week. Classes and work keep him out of the house, and even when he is home he prefers to spend time relaxing or hanging out with Shirahama. He had forgotten about his chore, and now it’s become a problem.

Carefully reaching towards the tower, he grabs the cups first and goes for the sponge right as Shirahama walks out from his room.

He has his hair held back by a headband, because my bangs are a nightmare right now, he’d explained the other day.

He walks towards the kitchen and looks at Tashiro, who has begun to work through the dishes.

“…Need any help?” He asks as he reaches toward the kitchen cabinet, pulling out the chips he’d come for.

“Oh, no I’m good,” Tashiro responds, though the overwhelmed look in his eyes doesn’t match his words.

Hm. Shirahama puts his chips down on the counter, turning towards the sink and stepping up beside his friend. “I’ll dry and you wash, okay?” He says with a smile.

Tashiro blinks at him for a moment, lips parted in an ‘o’, before he nods and sends back a smile of his own.

They make it through everything eventually, though not without some effort and accidental water sprays. They decide afterwards to just do the dishes together, just to save them time.

There's this strange sensation that comes for him one day. The apartment is dark, the steady hum of the aircon welcoming him home, and immediately something feels amiss.

Tashiro kicks off his shoes, only to turn back around and place them carefully on the shoe rack. He always forgets that it’s something he should worry about now. Keeping his home in order was never really a big deal before, it was usually only him spending time there anyways.

Passing through the short hallway, his eyes catch on a small black and red container. He looks around suspiciously, but finds no sign of Shirahama. Crossing the creaky floorboards, he inspects the tupperware and finds a green sticky note pressed onto the lid.

Went to a mixer.

Put this in a pot and try eating real food for once

Tashiro blinks away his shock. His eyes trace over the words on the note. Again, then again.

Thump

His hands warm the plastic as he goes to hold it, and a smile breaks out across his face. He’ll have to say thanks later.

Placing his food back onto the counter, he turns to go change. He feels anticipation swirl around inside of him, and even without tasting the soup, Tashiro feels warm.

Tashiro finds out in the second month of living with his best friend that they’re maybe not the best at making their place livable.

“How have you guys been living like this?” Miyano asks, part judging and part concerned. They’re standing in the living room, which consists of a couch, a tv, and a shelf balanced on two boxes that they use as a coffee table. The tv sits on the floor with a console, video game cases stacked beside it.

It’s not like they haven’t talked about decorating. They joked about it before moving, and made plans about what they wanted to do. The plans just… didn’t end up happening.

At some point between the exhausting move-in and the rush of classes starting up, decorating didn’t feel like that urgent of a thing.

But now classes have been in session for a while, and they still haven’t bothered with it.

The click of Kuresawa’s camera bounces off the empty walls. “A total bachelor pad,” he says, sounding just to the left of impressed. “My girlfriend was wondering what it looks like when two college guys live together.”

Tashiro groans at that, knowing that another classing girlfriend ramble is on its way.

“We live just fine,” Shirahama says, and as if on cue the boxes fold into themselves, sending the shelf clattering to the floor. Right.

They decide to go furniture shopping, just to make sure that they don’t have to deal with any more Looks from Miyano or paparazzi from Kuresawa.

Tashiro suppresses a laugh, pointing towards a table with odd looking fish for legs, “We need that.” Shirahama laughs along with him, but shakes his head.

“We have a budget, we’re only getting what we absolutely need.” He reminds Tashiro. His eyes turn towards a yellow and white coffee table that is practically calling for him. He turns away.

Tashiro salutes him, and doesn’t retaliate when Shirahama gives him a playful shove in response. He turns around and walks towards a different part of the store, twisting strands of his hair between his fingers as he goes. He really needs to touch up his roots.

Spotting something on a shelf, he picks it up. It’s a decorative statue, a silver painted hare taking a nap. He smirks and turns around, walking back to Shirahama. “Hey, look, I found you…” he starts to say before trailing off, eyes focusing on Shirahama’s side profile.

His eyes look focused in the way they always do when he’s overthinking something simple. His brows are pinched and his thumb is pressed flat on the side of his lip. Tashiro breathes in the expression, and decides he can show him later.

Laughter reverberates through the restaurant, one table in particular shining with rays of excitement and teasing.

“No, but seriously, how many more piercings can you get?” Tashiro questions dramatically, standing from his seat to stretch across the table and investigate. Hanzawa only laughs behind his hands and turns his head, showing off another new hole in his ear.

“If you ask that every time you’ll keep giving yourself a headache,” says the eldest one at the table, the previous ping pong president in all his red haired glory smirks mischievously and pats Tashiro’s back.

Crossing his arms and dropping back into his seat, Tashiro tries to keep up an air of frustration. It lasts about a second before he breaks out into a smile of his own.

These little meet-ups are a lot of fun for him. It’s not every day that all three of them are in one place. Especially not with their current schedules. It’s a nice break from the busy life he’s been settling into.

He feels his heart warm as he sits with his friends, ready to bring up his latest win in his college ping pong club, when his phone vibrates. Flipping it over, he sees that Shirahama texted him.

Divorce Soon: hey r you home

I left my jacket and this place is freezing

He pauses to consider. He’s not very far from the apartment, he could run there, grab it, and drop it off pretty quickly. But… he glances up from his phone to the two in front of him. He doesn’t want to leave yet. But… looking back at his phone he sees the spam of crying emoji’s Shirahama has begun sending.

“Hey guys, sorry but my roommate needs me to get him something,” he says with an awkward expression. The conversation pauses as the two process what he said. “Oh sure, you need a ride?” His absolutely genius red haired friend offers, pulling his keys out as he says it.

“Yes!” Tashiro replies as his expression lights up. He tells Shirahama he’s on the way, and they head out towards the parking lot.

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Tashiro fiddles with the edge of his shirt. He tries not to move too much, looking back and forth from his hands to Shirahama. His friend has that same look in his eyes that he did back in middle school art class. Focused, determined, trying and failing to keep paint off of his face. Only this time the paint is a bright yellow dye.

They’ve been like this for a while. He hums along to the music playing from his phone. His butt feels a little numb and he has counted and recounted the tiny floor tiles at least a million times, all 173- no, 175 of them. He tries to focus his attention on anything but the gloved hands in his hair.

He carefully reaches over for his phone, switching the playlist to a random one he saw in his recommendations.

It’s not as if he couldn’t survive in silence for a little while. He usually doesn’t have anyone else to do this for him, so silence is kind of a given.

But as he taps the beat into his leg and opens his mouth, no words come out. He lets the silence linger even as Shirahama begins humming the words to a song he remembers coming out in their first year. He thinks about laying on the floor of his bedroom, phone conversations bouncing off his poster-lined walls and music blasting.

He remembers the telltale clicks and clacks from the other end of the call, the curses against ridiculous route mechanics spilling into his ears.

Tashiro feels like this is sort of like those moments, just a little bit more. His legs are longer, his hair can go into a ponytail now, and his world feels so much bigger. His eyes turn towards the boy-technically-man in front of him. His eyes look sharper and his face is more angular.

But, in a lot of ways he feels the same as he always has. The same Shirahama who cried during their graduation, and sat next to him on their first day of middle school. The same Shirahama who bullies him for counting on his fingers, but forgets what comes after 3 when he’s drunk enough.

The same yet different Shirahama. They match in that way, at least. Both the same, but not fully.

“I… think I’m done?” Shirahama says, breaking their steady silence. Tashiro stands to go look in the mirror. He giggles at the sight of his foil-wrapped hair sticking out at odd angles.

Shirahama laughs along with him, and it really isn’t that funny, but they still stand there giggling like idiots. Tashiro pulls at the corner of his shirt again, turning around and raising it up to Shirahama’s face and wiping away some of the dye.

He drops his shirt and turns back to the mirror, looking at the two of them in the reflection. He watches the way Shirahama’s face stays frozen, and how his whole face flushes like it always has. It’s nice to see some things will never change.

#malt rants #malt writes #sunnnfish #shirashiro

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arvinsescape · 4 years ago

Note

Hey could you please write something with reader's ex leaking some private pictures you two took when you were together just because he's jealous of you and tom, so when tom hears about what happened he is so upset that someone could be this low, he's not even jealous, he is just so mad that he could cry

A/N: Thank you for sending this in, I hope you enjoy! 💕

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, leaking of nudes (this is never okay, I do not condone this behaviour), talks of bad relationships, mentions of stalking (do not read if you are uncomfortable).

You and Tom had been together for just over a year and a half, it had been amazing, you absolutely adored each other and everyone could see it. There was only one negative in your relationship and that came with your ex.

He was an incredibly jealous human being, awful in every way. You broke things off with him after two years of putting up with his behaviour. You'd not been allowed to have male friends, the relationship you had with the men Tom lived with was strange for you at first, at every turn you expected Tom to get angry about how close you were getting. It never happened, Tom adored the relationship you had with the boys and it was quick to reassure you of that fact when you opened up to him about it.

Unfortunately, although he claimed he wasn't in love with you, he couldn't let you go. He was so jealous when he found out you'd moved on that he started stalking your social medias, leaving comments on your posts which led to you blocking him. Of course, this didn't work, he made new accounts in order to find out what you were doing, leaving nasty comments on posts you made to a point where you simply stopped posting as often.

He was tiring and for a while you worried he'd find you, approach you but he never did. You'd been on edge for a short time after making your relationship with Tom public due to the comments he'd leave on your posts. You wondered whether or not he'd ever get over it, let you go but he seemingly wasn't going to anytime soon. It was tiresome, truly but you'd learned to live with it, you continued to block the accounts he made, Tom personally emailing the social media companies in hopes they could put a stop to him but to no avail.

You travelled with Tom a lot, most of the time unless you had family commitments that kept you homebound. This was due to your job and the way it worked, you never needed to be in an office and you could work from anywhere in the world. Book editing meant you had freedom. It made you feel safe, knowing Tom was never far away and when he was filming you could spend time with one of the boys and it brought a huge comfort to you.

You were back in London, in Tom's shared house after a long stretch in the states, you were happy to be back home, have your home comforts. You had been in and out of sleep for the past hour, your phone buzzing like crazy which had resulted in you turning it off, not ready to face whatever it was so early in the morning. That was all well and good until Tom's phone started half an hour later.

"Tom." You lightly shook him in his sleep and he mumbled incoherently in response. "Tom?" You tried harder.

"Y/N, go back to sleep." He grumbled as he pulled you into his chest as his phone started again. You pushed against his chest and his eyes snapped open.

"Tom your phone." You stated and Tom groaned before rolling over and mindlessly fishing for the device, turning it off as well. "It might be important." You said and he rolled back over to pull you into him.

"I'll deal with it later, it's my week off, it can wait." He mumbled into your neck as he sighed out. It didn't take him long to find sleep again as he held you against his chest, his warmth wrapping around you and making you drift into your own sleep.

You're not sure how long you'd been back asleep before you heard banging on your bedroom door. Tom groaning as he squeezed your body and ignored the knocks, hoping whichever boy it was would go away.

"Tom." Harrison's voice pulled you both from your sleepy state. He sounded worried, not his usual calm and chilled out self as he banged on the door again. "You need to get up." He said frantically.

"Fuck off Harrison, I'm tired." Tom shouted back as you sat up and ran a hand over your face. Tom protesting as you sat against the headboard trying to come to. "Darling, come back." He begged, almost childishly, you were about to respond when Harrison piped up again.

"Tom, mate seriously. Get up, it's important." He tried and Tom groaned again before sitting up next to you. "Right, I'm coming in." Haz shouted before opening your bedroom door, phone in hand and face paler than usual.

"Haz what is so important that we need to get up at," Tom started as he checked his watch. "7:30 in the morning."

"You need to check your phones." He said as he threw his phone in your direction. With furrowed brows you picked it up. "I'm so sorry Y/N/N." He said and Tom was quick to grab his phone, turning it on.

"What do you mean? Haz it's early and I've not woken up yet, what's going on?" Tom asked as you scrolled Haz's phone, quiet as a mouse, face dropping. You flicked though the series of pictures that had made their way to twitter, complete and utter disbelief hitting you.

"Her ex." Harrison said as Tom's phone finished booting up, numerous missed calls from his publicist and twitter notifying him that he was trending. "Y/N/N, are you okay?" Harrison asked as he took in your figure.

"How long have these been up?" You asked, eyes not leaving his phone.

"I don't know they were posted overnight." Harrison sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. Numerous pictures of yourself from a couple of years ago staring back at you. Pictures with your ex in very compromising positions mocking you as you looked at them.

You nodded slowly as you swallowed down your emotions, you lifted a shaky hand to run through your hair. The internet had practically seen you for what you were, seen things that were meant for a significant other. Pictures of yourself you'd sent to your ex before things got bad between the two of you.

"Fucking piece of shit." Tom whispered as he himself saw what Harrison had been talking about. You felt like crying, the lump in your throat felt heavy as you tried to swallow it down, tears blurring your vision as you looked at the pictures.

"Sweetheart," Tom started as he took Harrison's phone from your hand and handed it back to his friend. Harrison took it and quickly made his way from your room, he knew you were seconds away from breaking down and you needed your privacy.

"I thought he'd deleted them." You whispered to more yourself than anyone else. "I sent those at the beginning of our relationship, fucking idiot." You said to yourself and Tom pulled you into him as your tears fell, silently crying.

"You're not an idiot. This is on him, not you. I'm so sorry." Tom said as he held you. "He had no right to do that."

"Is he ever going to leave me alone?" You cried and Tom's heart shattered there and then in his chest. This man had been a tormenter for years, too long and he had been cause for your tears numerous times over your relationship.

"He is. I swear to god this is the last time." Tom promised as he held you tight against him. His phone rang yet again and he huffed out in annoyance as he lifted an arm, reaching for his phone. "Hey, I'll call you back." Tom said into the phone, you didn't hear the response. "No, this is more important, I'll talk to you later." Tom snapped before hanging up the phone and throwing it to one side.

You became a sobbing mess, the world having seen parts of yourself you never wanted them to. You wanted to disappear off the face of earth, how were you supposed to go out in public after this? How were you supposed to face the people you knew? Your mind was racing, thoughts embedding themselves as you thought more about what would happen. You only cried harder as you thought about it.

Tom comforted you through your breakdown, reassuring you that it was going to be okay. He was in complete shock, how could someone do this? He wanted to cry as he held you, his heart was broken for the woman in his arms. He listened as you eventually calmed down, breathing steadying as you pulled away from his chest and wiped your face.

"I'm gonna do something about this, I promise." Tom comforted and he watched as a defeated look spread across your face.

"What does it matter? The world has seen them now." You smiled sadly, realising there was nothing you could do. He'd taken things to a knew level, one you would never hear the end of. "It's my own fault, I never should have sent them." You bit your lip as you tried to hold back more tears.

"No baby, don't do that. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault." He said as he sat across from you, taking your hands into his own. You couldn't look him in the eye, what if he hated you for this? This was something people could use against him now, what if he was disgusted you ever sent them to him.

"Stop it." Tom said softly, he could see you reeling, see your thoughts consuming you. He always knew, he said you had this look on your face and in your eyes, he knew you like the back of his hand. "Don't, I know what you're thinking and this isn't your fault."

"Look at me," Tom encouraged as he took your chin in his hand and forced your gaze into his own. "I promise this is going to be okay." He comforted and the look in his eyes was so comforting, so safe. No judgement, nothing hiding behind them, he was heart broken for you, you could see that in the tears that were slightly welling in his eyes.

It wasn't that you were against sending pictures to your partner, you and Tom had sent your fair share to each other. But you had learned a valuable lesson, you'd deleted every picture between you and your ex because that was the right thing to do, right? But he hadn't, he'd kept them and it made you uncomfortable as to why? Why would he want to keep those pictures? Why would he release them for the world to see?

"One minute." Tom said as he got off the bed and made his way into the en suite. You heard running water and you knew he was running you a bath, the evidence in the smell of flowers filling the room as he added your favourite bubble bath. He reappeared after a while.

"Come on. I've got some calls to make so you have a bath." He said as he held his hand out for you. Your heart warmed but you sighed as you took his hand and stood up.

"This isn't your mess to clean up Tom, it's mine." You mumbled and Tom shook his head as he tugged you slightly into the bathroom.

"If it affects you, it affects me. I'm gonna do everything I can to protect you. I love you okay? This isn't your fault and I'm gonna put an end to his shit, I've had enough. I'm gonna do something about him." Tom said and you smiled sadly.

"Thank you." You said and Tom smiled as he gestured for you to get into the bath.

"I'll be back in a while. I'm gonna talk to my legal team, see what I can do. You just try and relax and I want you to promise me that you'll stay off social media today." He said and you nodded as he smiled in comfort at you, kissing your forehead as he left the bathroom and made his way downstairs, grabbing his phone and putting some sweats on as he did.

"How is she?" Harrison asked, almost as soon as Tom entered the living room. Tom sighed as he turned to his best friend.

"She's upset. Blames herself for ever sending them." He said and Haz furrowed his brows.

"This is that twats fault. I swear if I ever see him again I'm gonna punch the smug look he always has right off his fucking face." Haz said.

"You'll have to get in line. I could kill him for what he's done." Tom said, he was so upset that you'd been put through this. "I want to fucking cry for her Haz, she's devastated." Tom continued as Tuwaine made his way into the room.

"That man is a fucking dick." He ranted straight away, Harry agreeing as he made his way in. "I can't believe the shit he's pulled." He continued.

"He's was so open about it, posting them onto his personal twitter account." Harry said in disbelief.

"I'm hoping that was his biggest mistake, what I can get him for." Tom said as he scrolled his contacts, pulling up the head of his legal team.

"What's the reaction online?" Haz asked carefully and Tuwaine shook his head.

"Half and half, some people are defending her, some are mocking her, others judging. It's a mess, people wanna know how Tom feels about it, some Y/N. I don't know, I tried not to look too much." Tuwaine sighed and Haz gave a tight nod as he grabbed his phone and vigorously started to type.

Tom left the room as he held the phone to his ear, on the phone with his legal team. Disappearing to talk in private. Harrison finally finished his typing as Tuwiane and Harry's phone pinged, Harrison's tweets coming to their attention.

There are no words for what has happened to my two best friends. What this man has done is disgusting and in no way Y/N's fault, please stop circulating the pictures. They were posted without her consent and she is hurting enough without people mocking her. Leave her alone, leave Tom alone. You will hear from them when they are ready.

Harry and Tuwaine retweeting the tweets before adding their own in support of you. You were close to them all, they were like your brother's.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. This is just awful, I can't believe this has happened." Tuwaine said and watched as you appeared in the living room, you had your pyjama pants on, one of Tom's hoodies consuming your upper half as you looked sheepishly around the room.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry this has happened." Tuwaine said as he pulled you into his chest, squeezing you in comfort. "It's okay, we're gonna get you through this." He promised and your heart warmed as you hugged him back.

There was a part of you that wondered how much the boys had seen, it made you feel strange around them. What if they'd seen the pictures of your intimate parts?

"I didn't look." Tuwaine said, almost as if he could read your thoughts. "I saw enough to know when to stop scrolling, enough to know what had happened." He reassured as the boys voiced the same.

"Okay, he's gonna do some digging, see how far he can take it. See what he can get him done for." Tom said as he reappeared, you instantly leaving Tuwaine's arms for your boyfriends.

"Is it looking promising? That we can press charges of some sort against him?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, he's just said he'll see if he can take more action. He's already contacted twitter and they're trying to put a stop to the sharing of the pictures. The rest of the sites the same." Tom said as he squeezed you tightly, chin resting on top of your head.

Tom's phone rang again and he pulled it from his pocket, sighing as he watched his publicists name flash across his screen. This was the phone call he was dreading because his PR team didn't give a fuck how you looked, it was all about Tom. This wasn't about him.

"Hello?" Tom said as he answered, he couldn't ignore them forever.

"Tom! Finally!" He heard the shrill screech of her voice and he grimaced as he did. He moved you both to sit on the couch, sitting you on his lap as he cuddled you. "Have you seen the internet?"

"Yeah." Tom said, almost annoyed.

"Y/N needs to put out a statement." She said and Tom huffed, anger building in him.

"Y/N doesn't need to do anything. She will address this if and when she is ready." Tom snapped.

"Tom this will make it look bad for you if neither of you address it. Some people are speculating she's cheated." She replied and your stomach dropped as you overheard her. Tom shifted you onto the couch as he got up, placing a kiss to your lips as he disappeared again. You didn't need to hear any of this.

"I don't give a shit to be honest. She hasn't cheated, these photos where posted without her consent. This isn't about me, this is about her." Tom snapped.

"But Tom, you are Spiderman, your girlfriends nudes have been leaked, pictures of her with another man have leaked." She snapped back and Tom's anger hit breaking point.

"I don't care. I just told you that. I'm not going to force her to do a thing she doesn't want. I don't care that I am Spiderman, what happened to her is wrong and I'm gonna stand by her."

"About that." She said Tom's heart dropped.

"What?"

"We think it might be best if you distanced yourself from her. Make it look like a slight break." His publicist said and Tom's anger hit the roof at the suggestion. His publicist had never been fond of your relationship, they wanted him to date other celebrities, he'd fought them for ages on this front.

"Not happening. This is devastating for her, you really think I'm gonna abandon her? You know what? If anyone thinks negatively about me or her, that's on them because what has happened to her is wrong. How do you think that will look? I can just see the headlines. Tom Holland leaves girlfriend after nudes where leaked without her consent. What sort of a message does that send to people? Did you think about that? Or is this just you taking another opportunity to try and get me seen with someone you approve of?" Tom screamed, the house heard.

"I, I suppose I hadn't thought about that." She stumbled out quietly. Tom pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm himself.

"I don't want to hear anything more about this. I'm going to deal with this my way. This isn't about me, this about her and sticking by her, which I am going to do. Whatever you might say. The fact that you hadn't thought about what I've just said makes clear to me that I can't trust you with this one and maybe I should be looking for someone I can." Tom snapped.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave you be. We'll try and do what we can here." She said and Tom didn't even feel guilty for blowing out on his publicist, the team could be the biggest wankers he'd ever met anyway.

"Tom, you'll get in trouble." You said as he made his way back into the room. He sat down next to you, pulling you into his side as he kissed your head.

"I don't care. This isn't about me, they need to realise that." Tom spoke into your hair. He pulled his phone from his pocket as he typed away, minutes later and everyone's phone had pinged, Tom had posted to Instagram. It was a picture of the two of you, one taken over winter in by the fire.

I'm sure many of you have seen what has happened. I'm devastated someone would do this, these pictures were posted without her consent. This man kept these pictures for over two years and then posted them. I ask that you stop judging and just think for a second how this would make you feel, if it was you in this position. She trusted him enough to send those images and he broke that trust, it's so wrong.

I ask that you stop posting the pictures, they are not yours or mine to post. There is no cheating involved, this man has caused enough distress for Y/N and I will not let it continue. I want you to support her and send love, it's what she deserves. She's my best friend and my lover, I stand by her 100% on this, I will not tolerate any abuse sent her way.

Please understand that she is not ready to address this and if she never is that's okay. She doesn't have to, this isn't her fault and she has nothing to apologise for. I love her and I hope to see your continued support of her, much love Tom x

He switched his phone off as he looked at you, he wanted nothing more than to make this go away for you, he wanted to hide you from the world, keep you safe. He had to swallow his tears again, heart aching from what this man has done to you, he couldn't stop himself pulling you tighter against him as he tried to keep his tears at bay..

"It's gonna be okay, I promise. I love you." He said into your hair as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself to straddle him. You pulled each other impossibly closer and the boys smiled at the interaction, no matter what was going on the world, the two had each other. They had each other's backs and it was heart warming to see, to know they had all the support they would ever need in each other.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #tom holland x female reader #tom holland one shot

301 notes · View notes

yostresswritinggirl · 4 years ago

Text

@butterfly-mochi Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh

Universe Reversal 2

Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)

Zhongli the F2P

The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.

So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.

He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.

This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.

He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.

He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).

Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).

He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.

Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.

Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.

Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.

On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.

“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”

Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message

Childe The Whaler

This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.

How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.

And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.

The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.

At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*

He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-

Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.

Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.

Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.

His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).

Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha

Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.

“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”

Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...

Ganyu the Employed

Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.

How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!

Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!

Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.

During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.

The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.

She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.

Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.

Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”

Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho

Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.

At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.

Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.

When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.

“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”

Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...

so enjoyable...

@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact ganyu #exile.circlet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #reeeeeeeeee #gender neutral

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uwuwriting · 5 years ago

Text

Denki, Dabi and Bakugou in a secret relationship

Request: hii!! i loved your post about the secret relationship being exposed and i was wondering if you could do the same for dabi bakugo and denki - anonymous

Um this was supposed to go up yesterday, I had queued it but tumblr decided to just deleted. Oh well. I hope you like it you guys even though its a day late. This was fun to write. Love ya. 💖💖💖

rules

warnings: some sexy times mentions, fluff

Kaminari Denki

-Kaminari is an idiot.

-I don’t even know who you’ve managed to keep your relationship a secret.

-90% sure the whole school knows and just pretends to be oblivious.

-Anyways.

-It kinda bothers him that he has to keep it a secret.

-He wants to scoop you up and spin you around in the hallways, hug you after a really rough training session with Bakubro, kiss you when you are being extra extra cute.

-Plus he wants to brag to the other idiots for getting a girlfriend first.

-But alas he respects your wishes and tries to keep it all under wraps.

-Your parents are pro heroes and have warned you about the dangers of dating since you are their kid.

-Villains wouldn’t hesitate to threaten you with your significant other if it means they’ll get to your parents.

-So now Kaminari is stuck sneaking in your dorm late at night only to spend a few hours with you and give you as much kisses as he can fit in the little time you have.

-Surprisingly he has kept it a secret for almost a year now.

-No slip ups, no marks on his skin after a spice night, none of your clothes could be found in his room whatsoever.

-Apart from his usual flirty nature towards you, there was nothing that could indicate that you two were an item.

-Now being in your third year, things had gotten rather serious with your hero works.

-Most of you if not all had been working along side a pro hero for the last year or two but that didn’t mean they would take you in after high school.

-Every student had to wait for the acceptance letter from the agency or an agency in general and they would be set for their hero work after school.

-You had been working with a hero agency since your first year and you were pretty happy.

-But the pro hero you had been with decided that after you were done with your hero studies, he would retire leaving you with no agency to boost your career after school.

-Kaminari was as devastated as you were.

-He tried comforting you as much as he could, extra hugs and kisses, more snacks and movie nights, anything to help you cope with the fact that you would be back to the starting line once school was over.

-He hated seeing you cry.

-Then the unthinkable happened.

-Mt.Lady was a well known hero and one with a desired sidekick position that no one seemed to really fill.

-You had just helped her stop a major villain attack tricking the villain and capturing him before he could do any real damage in the area.

-To say that Mt.Lady was impressed was an understatement.

-She contacted your hero agency and asked if you had already signed a deal with them.

-You can see where this is going.

-When you got the notice from Mt. Lady’s agency you were over the moon and so was Kaminari.

-He was so happy that the person he loved the most was finally getting what she deserved.

-He had dragged you to the janitor’s closet to give you his personal congratulations, catching the attention of a certain red head.

-He kissed you like there was no tomorrow, his arms keeping you as close as possible, flush to his chest as he peppered your face and neck with feather light kisses.

- “I’m so proud of you babe!”

-You tried to keep your giggles on the down low to no avail since Kaminari’s goal was to make you laugh.

-For a long moment you didn’t care if someone found you, you were so happy and so comfortable in Denki’s arms that you didn’t want to leave the closet and go back to your hidden lives.

-Then you saw the light coming from the door, getting ready to lightly scold Kaminari for leaving the door open when you made eye contact with Kirishima......and Mina ..... and Sero..... and somewhere in the far back with a pair of ruby red eyes.

- “Babygirl is everything alright?”

-He hadn’t seen them yet, then he followed your line of vision and the man has never yeeted you out of his arms faster in his life.

-Your friends just stared at you in complete shock for a full minute before Bakugou broke the silence.

- “Oi you own me ramen Kirishima.”

Dabi

-With this guy I’m not surprised that you managed to keep it a secret.

-Oh no no no.

-I’m surprised you managed to get him into a relationship.

-It wasn’t easy though you would give him that.

-You were part of the LoV of course and well you didn’t really take any of their shit.

-The only person you respected was Kurogiri and that was borderline pity.

-He had to babysit a 20 year old killing machine with issues, many issues, many many issues.

-When Dabi approached you with his signature flirty and I-only-do-one-night-stands-babygirl attitude, you being the idiot that you are took the bait.

-The LoV knows of yalls nights together but they only thought that that was it.

-Dabi slept around and you were a really attractive person.

-Plus they knew you both were bored so sex was, to their eyes, the only solution.

-What they didn’t know though was that Dabi was starting to catch feelings and soon enough he hated seeing you remotely talking with another human being.

-Then that fateful mission happened and the deal was sealed.

-You were spying on Overhaul and his lackeys, hidden in his underground lab watching as they went around doing stuff.

-Then you heard a childish scream and it was the first time Dabi saw fear flash in your eyes.

-You turned around following the source of the screams absolutely ignoring Dabi’s protests and threats.

-It was like you were in a daze and Dabi felt the terror sink his claws in his throat as you passed by so many of Overhaul’s members nearly getting caught.

-When you reached the glass door that led into Eri’s experiment lab, he saw the color drain from your face and your knees buckling.

-He caught you before you hit the floor dragging you away from the lab door despite the fact that you clawed at his coat to put you down.

-He felt his shoulder getting wet and that’s when he saw the tears that were falling freely down your cheeks.

-He had managed to calm you down long enough to convince you to leave before you got caught but luck wasn’t on your side when one of the lackeys spotted you.

-Dabi was a few feet away from the exit, becoming reckless at the sight of freedom not noticing the masked individual pointing his gun at him.

-You noticed though.

-And you got in the way, pushing Dabi to the ground as the quirk cancelling bullet pierced your side leaving you to fall to the floor with a grunt and a strangled pained moan.

-The next few minutes were a blur.

-Dabi didn’t remember how he got you out of there or how he was now on a rooftop with you pressed flush against his chest as the affects of the bullet made you tremble.

- “Shh doll, shhh. I’m here I got you.”

-He knew your trembling was not entirely because of the bullet, he saw how your eyes glassed over at the sight of Eri back in the lab and he knew that this had something to do with your past.

-He used to get the same glassy eyed look on his face when he would see Endeavour on the news shortly after his “death”.

-Things changed after that.

-He didn’t take you to the hideout that night, he brought you to his apartment where he helped you clean up your wound and calm down.

- “I know it’s not my place to ask but what the hell to you happened back there?”

-When you explained what you’ve been through and how those screams brought back things you thought you had long ago buried, he was left gawking at you.

-For some weird reason he believed that you were just a brat who ran away from home on some rebellious whim.

- “Ugh what am I saying? You don’t give a damn! Why did I even-”

- “Touya.”

- “What?”

- “My real name is Touya, I-I wanted you to know.”

-Sharing a heart felt night analyzing your past trauma with someone you sleep with is one way to get yourself into a relationship.

-You both agreed to keep it secret and you did keep it like that for a long time, a very long time.

-The LoV never truly found out.

-Some had their suspicions sure, Mister Compress had even made a bet with Toga but you two never gave them any further hints apart from the constant paired up missions you went on.

-The only one who knew was Kurogiri.

-He had caught you two spending the night together on a rooftop, all cuddled up together your hands intertwined as you looked up at the stars.

-He was getting back from an emergency snack run when he saw the familiar glow of Dabi’s blue flames and your characteristic giggles.

-He never said anything and when Dabi came to him to ask for some pregnancy facts, he knew that he truly loved you.

-No one ever knew and no one will ever know.

-Unless the run into you two in five years while you’re out for a walk with your son.

Bakugou Katsuki

-Sparky sparky boom boom man is a lil bitch.

-Don’t try to argue you know that too.

-You just need to accept it.

-His way to approach you was by insulting the living shit out of you before making you reach the tip of an anger fit.

-He knew how to press your buttons and it made you fume.

-You had to give it to him he was hella attractive and his true personality shined through his faced at times.

-And so did his worry for you.

-You got together after his kidnapping.

-He suffered from nightmares after the incident and one night he came to your dorm, trembling and cold sweat running down his spine.

-He had no idea why his feet led him to your room, he just knew that you were now wrapping him in a fluffy blanket and putting on a Disney movie as you hugged him so so tightly.

-He slept over and the next morning he confessed.

-Actually you both confessed but those are useless details.

-In reality it wasn’t even a confession with words.

-You both woke up facing each other, your noses touching and I don’t know who leaned in first but next thing you knew you were kissing his hand cupping you cheek while the other intertwined with yours.

-Keeping your relationship a secret with this one is easy.

-He is still being a lil bitch to you and you are still sassing him back.

-Behind closed doors he is kinda sweet and caring not a lot though because even with you he has to uphold his reputation.

-After some time though he calms down and is a cuddle bug.

-Like he will tackle you on the bed the moment you close the door to his dorm, restricting any movement until he is satisfied with the cuddles.

-Baby even said ‘I love you’ first awwww!!

-He was so shy about it.

-Anyways.

-That’s a story for another time.

-He doesn’t really care about keeping it a secret anymore.

-He’s low key tired of hiding.

-Much like Kaminari he wants to kiss you whenever he wants, hold you and hug you till you can’t breathe after he gets back to the dorms after a rough patrol with his hero study.

-But oh well the cat isn’t out of the bag yet and you being third years now you couldn’t really do something about it.

-You spend so much time with him that you would think that some of your classmates would like sniff you out.

-But no.

-They all dumb af.

-You would spend a lot of time with him and the Bakusquad since your first year so they just think you’re really good friends.

-Todoroki kinda knows but he doesn’t at the same time.

-Some mannerisms remind him while he was in a secret relationship before Momo found out but then he sees how Bakugou treats you just like any other person so he is really confused.

-More confused than usual.

-Now you got outed by the man himself.

-Bakugou is not good with jealousy.

-Jealousy and Bakugou should never go hand in hand.

-You were talking to Mina in class, leaning on the desk behind you.

-Your skirt had ridden up show casing your thighs making Bakugou think back to some noises you made a few nights ago.

-If he got hard he would blame you and he would be extra pissy.

-He was enjoying the show though.

-He watched you like a hawk.

-The way your body leaned back making your legs straighten and flex slightly or how he could see the hickey he had left right at the base of your neck the other night that you’ve tried to cover with make up.

-He could see it because he knew it was there, to an outsider everything was normal.

-He was jolted out of his daze by Mineta’s voice.

-And the sound of your name on his lips.

- “Look at Y/N’s thighs! She could suffocate me with those legs and I would thank her!”

-Kirishima smacked him upside the head trying to shut him up.

-Kaminari was slowly escaping the scene because he saw the small sparks in his friend’s hand at the comment.

-He chose life.

-Mineta though didn’t stop.

- “I could lose myself between those legs. Oh the noises she must make.”

-Now what happened next is a huge question mark.

-The end result however was Mineta almost being blasted out the window and into space and Bakugou almost popping the vein on his forehead.

-You had to get in between them and try to calm down your boyfriend.

-Most of your classmates had long forgotten Mineta and his whining and had zoned in on your hands on Bakugou’s chest or on his arm that had wrapped around your waist in an attempt to push you behind him.

- “You ever dare speak my girlfriend’s name I’m blasting you to the next dimension.”

- “Katsuki please calm down it’s fine.”

-Legit you both forgot that your relationship had been a secret for the past three years.

-You floated back into reality when Present Mic himself asked.

- “YOu TWo aRe aN iTeM?????”

-Chaos ensued and a crap ton of explanations.

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei

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levi-my-beloved · 4 years ago

Text

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 2

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Warnings: Violence, swearing, descriptions of sexual acts

Word count: 5.9K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.

A/N: big ol’ oof i’m back again with more BoaF shenanigans. i’m having way too much fun with this, and i know i said chapters would be released every two weeks but i actually got way too excited not to post these sooner. haven’t had any issues with accidentally deleting this post yet, but i wouldn’t put it above myself. anyway, here’s chapter two of “Birds of a Feather”

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

You hated surprises. In all shapes and forms. You liked to be in control of the situation, able to predict every move your victims would make. The job was going smoothly, all the steps falling into place. Infiltrating the nearest MP warehouse was easy enough. Stealing medicine, ointments and food was child’s play. You wondered how any of them became members of the MP in the first place, considering how incompetent they were. Only a few throats had to be slit on the way, one of your knives now dripping in their blood. Running it through the crease of your elbow, the crimson came off on your leather suit. Various straps and holsters held knives and blades of all sorts, some were more intricately designed than others.

Crouched low behind a large, wooden crate, you remove one of the smaller daggers from your boot, now clutching it in your left hand. They seemed to have upped their security, judging by the increase of soldiers walking around the place, each with their own rifle on their backs. Shit, they were really getting fed up with you. A small, satisfied smirk sliced across your shrouded face. Even with upped security, this was easy as piss.

That was until a commotion above you had you stopping in your tracks. A strange zipping sound followed by what you could only assume was the releasing of gas filled the air, followed by shouts, some familiar, most unfamiliar. Shit, how the fuck did they know you were here?

It wasn’t long before you were scampering onto crates of weaponry, back up to the broken window in which you’d entered. Swinging up from a beam, you landed deftly on the windowsill, peering out. Dread pooled in your gut at the scene.

These soldiers had skills you’d never seen. Swooping and swivelling with expert precision, it would have been mesmerising if not for the fact that they were chasing your Shadows. Your family.

“Shit… PHANTOM AND RENDEZVOUS,” you shouted, your voice carrying across the rooftops. It was a simple command. Disappear and meet up back at the hideout. But, in doing so, you’d given away your position, and it wasn’t long before you too were racing across the rooftops.

Taking out a set of throwing knives from your waist, you leapt from the tiles onto a balcony, spinning behind you and throwing two of the steel blades at those who were in your pursuit. Both knives hit home, sending two of the three soldiers spiralling into the streets below. Dead.

But one was still on your tail, dodging the two falling bodies effortlessly. Using your momentum, you crashed through the wooden window, rolling as you landed before continuing to flee.

Shit, this really wasn’t good. But one question still circled your mind. How the fuck did they know you were there? How could you possibly have been compromised? The job was airtight. Nobody outside your trusted group knew the positions you would be in and when.

The thought had thrown off your rhythm. Not concentrating on where your feet were falling, you’d missed the staircase right in front of you, only noticing when your foot met air instead of solid ground. Throwing your hands up to somewhat protect you, you were thankful for the corner as you slammed into the wall, your front jolting in protest. Shaking your head in an attempt to free yourself from the disorientation, you swiftly stood and wasted no time skipping the rest of the stairs, shouting a quick “Sorry!” to the couple who yelped in surprise as you vaulted over their kitchen table and burst through their door, back out into the streets. You had a few seconds reprieve before the hissing of gas met your ears, and once again took off running.

The street was irritatingly busy, you having to pick your way through the crowds whilst the zipping and hissing of ODM gear threatened to swoop down from above.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” You muttered, now shoving people aside. This was not ideal. Though the crowded street gave you some cover, it had slowed your momentum significantly.

Scanning around as you sprinted, you saw the perfect opportunity to broaden the gap between you and your pursuer. It was risky as shit, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

With a burst of speed fuelled purely by adrenaline, you raced towards the broken wagon. It acted almost as a ramp up to a swinging tavern sign. ‘The Broken Casket’. You’d never been and honestly had no interest in going, but you silently thanked whoever decided to place the sign at the perfect angle for you to use as a stepping stone. The wagon creaked as you sped up the planks of wood with cat-like agility. Using your arms for momentum, your foot connected with the swinging sign as you leapt across the street. However, in your planning, you’d failed to notice the sound of ODM gear had ceased behind you. It only occurred to you after another body slammed into yours mid jump, a low grunt interrupting your thought process as the two of you crashed into the dirt.

Surprised shouts and exclamations of the crowd brought you back to your senses as you expertly kicked the soldier from your body, rolling to avoid any sort of attack coming your way. This was bad. This was really bad. Drawing two more blades from your leather suit, you flipped them in your hands, ready to face off against your attacker, who had already begun his onslaught with his own steel.

The singing of metal rang in your ears, sparks flying with every collision.

Raising your arm beside your head, you blocked a heavy kick to your face, hissing ever so slightly at the contact. Shit, this guy was good. Ducking beneath a swipe, you took advantage of the fact you were wearing a masked helmet, bringing your head up viciously. You watched as he dodged backwards, his footwork borderline perfect before sweeping for your leg. Barely having enough time to register the attack, you leapt and twisted, bringing your own leg against the side of his head. He mimicked your block, your foot connecting with his forearm instead of his skull. You’d traded blows with hundreds of people before, each fight ending in just a few seconds. You knew you were good. Really good, in fact. But the man currently shrouded by a green cape was just as good. Dare you admit, maybe better than you.

No, you wouldn’t admit that, not when you had just landed a solid hit to his stomach with the hilt of your knife, not the end you’d wanted to land but at this point you were thankful for any successful blows. Rolling deftly to the right, you lunged once again whilst you thought he was still reeling from the impact.

He wasn’t.

He had lulled you into a false sense of security and let you believe the blow had impacted him more than it actually had. A knee cracked against your jaw, throwing you to the side. Sliding against the ground, you slammed into a wall, slumping as you recovered. Your hand came up to cradle the side of your face, wincing as you gently took hold of your chin, before jerking your jaw back into place. You couldn’t deny it. That hurt. A lot.

“You done?” raising your head from the dirt, you glare into the void beneath the hood, a voice you’d sworn you’d heard before, but you pushed down the confusion of familiarity. Slowly placing your blades back into their scabbards, you raised your hands as you stood, taking a step forward away from the wall behind you.

“Shit… Yeah. I’m done.” You admitted lowly, now standing before him, arms still raised in submission. That was until he came closer. You tried not to give away your plan as he cautiously walked towards you, keeping your eyes trained on the ground until you could see the tips of his boots in your vision. You couldn’t help the feral grin that sliced across your face.

Before he had time to question it, your foot connected with the underside of his chin.

It was a move Prongs had taught you a very long time ago. If ever you were in trouble, this was your best bet of escape.

The world turned upside down as you flipped backwards, watching in satisfaction as the man staggered backward. Now it was his turn to cradle his jaw.

“Never let your guard down, Scout.” You spat, before bolting away. That was close. Too close. You just hoped the rest of your Shadows had made it back.

꧁⎈꧂

What. The FUCK. Just happened? He had never seen someone with those kinds of skills before. It would have been impressive if it wasn’t a life or death situation. Levi stood there in the middle of the street, slouched ever so slightly, eyes wide with shock.

What the fuck just happened?

His hand still cradled his chin painfully. How the fuck was he just bested? He wasn’t even thinking clearly throughout that entire chase. All that was running through his head was how the fuck this guy was able to pull of moves like that. He’d seen some daring examples of parkour in his time but leaping over an entire street? Swinging from overhead bridges? The leader of The Nest was on a whole other level. He thought back to their entire ordeal. He must have been taught by someone. There was no way he couldn’t have been.

For some reason, that voice played in his head on repeat. A teasing carousel. He wouldn’t dare assume, but it sparked something in his mind. Something he wouldn’t dwell on now, but if they managed to catch this Raven, then maybe he could figure out just where the hell he’d heard that voice. Sure it was a little muffled and distorted by the mask, but it still bothered him.

Straightening himself, he pulled the hood of his cloak lower against his face. He told Erwin this was ridiculous. He told him this was a fruitless expedition. He was getting a little sick of people not listening to him for various reasons. He suspected it was because of his background.

Levi had done half of the job he was tasked with. Keeping the leader away from the rest of the group for as long as he could. Whilst he wasn’t able to detain him, this should be enough to please the Commander. As if remembering where he was, his skin began to crawl. The filth all around him almost felt suffocating.

“Shit…” he muttered, running his hand through his dark locks, sweat making them stick to his forehead. Looking back to where he’d watched the criminal race away, he pulled the triggers on his ODM gear, the gears shooting into the brick and wood of the upper streets before engaging his gas to meet up with Erwin and Hange. If everything went to plan, they would have the leader of The Nest already detained by the time he got there.

Levi couldn’t deny this operation had been a shitshow. They had severely underestimated the skill of these Shadows. Comrades falling left and right in their pursuit.

It was strange, being back. Dragging up memories he’d tried so hard to bury. His past suddenly creeping back up behind him. Gritting his teeth, he decided to concentrate on where he was going rather on the tendrils of discomfort seeping into his mind. He would face those demons later, when he wasn’t surrounded by death and filth.

Now he thought about it, facing the underground city and facing titans were similar in many ways. Both were terrifying thoughts to most. Both seemed to be caked in dirt and grime. And both seemed to result in the inevitable high death toll. It was frustrating to no end, but it wasn’t a surprise. Everything seemed to result in death. The only constant in this cruel world. It followed him like a curse.

His thoughts twisted back to you. Wondering if you were down here, somewhere. You were always so mysterious. Even when the two of you were together you’d disappear for days on end, only leaving a cryptic message behind. You’d never told him where you went, and he’d never pried. The wind in his ears took the form of your bubbling laughter, images of you clutching your abdomen after he’d told some sorry excuse of a joke.

Shit, he needed to get out of here. The longer he stayed, the further his thoughts strayed back to you.

꧁⎈꧂

You had never run so fast in your life. Wanting to meet up with your Shadows as soon as possible, hoping they would all be there safe. It was a fool’s hope, you knew that, but it was the only hope you had left, unable to shake the unease. Had you all been compromised, or just you and your Shadows? Was the location of The Nest safe? Was Scarlett safe?

You had come to the conclusion you must have been betrayed. There was no other explanation. It seemed impossible, one of your trusted betraying you all to the MPs, but how else would they have known you would have been at the warehouse? How else would they have known to call in the Scouts? They knew MPs alone couldn’t take on you and your Shadows, so they asked for help from a more skilled regiment. That was the only conclusion you could come to as you arrived at the rendezvous point.

Only to be greeted by an eerie silence. Not a soul to be seen.

This was wrong. Everything about this felt wrong. They should be here by now. Unless…

Unless they were at the backup site...

“NOW!”

A woman’s voice had your head jerking up to see you were surrounded. You watched the Scout pull some sort of trigger and as you did, time itself seemed to slow down. A faint click to your left alerted you to whatever trap they may have set. Leaping into a forward roll, you felt a rush of air behind your head as you dodged. Your heart pumping faster than ever as you look behind you, seeing the weighted net that had missed you by less than an inch.

Returning your gaze to the rooftops, you watched as several soldiers zipped onto the ground around you. The hidden square you’d chosen as your first meetup point now riddled with green capes, rifles and blades pointed in your direction.

You were trapped.

“What the fuck do you want?” your voice sounded a lot more confident than you felt. Coming out as a threatening demand rather than a timid question. (E/C) eyes widened behind your mask as a tall, blonde haired man pulled down the hood of his dark green cape. You knew that face, you’d seen it in the papers. The Commander of the Scouts had come to pay you a visit.

How thoughtful.

“The question still stands, Erwin Smith. What the fuck do you want?” you stood a little taller, though he still towered over you. Subtly, your hand went to one of your blades on your belt. If he got close enough, you could sink it into his throat. Throwing the Scouts around you into disarray was probably the only way to escape this, though those chances seemed incredibly slim.

Erwin raised a thick eyebrow to you.

“I’m surprised you’re familiar with my name, considering your… living conditions,” though he seemed to choose his words carefully, they still fanned the flames of hatred in your gut. His perceptive eyes glanced towards your hand nearing a wicked dagger on your belt. “I’d strongly advise you against that,” he warned, his voice low as he nodded his head to something behind you. Swiftly, you turned, and immediately regretted everything. Horror and guilt pierced your heart as you beheld Una as she was dragged forwards, a blade positioned near her throat. “Her life is in your hands, Raven. Co-operate, and we’ll let her go. Fail to do so…” the blade pressed into her throat a little, a small trickle of crimson staining the pale flesh of her neck.

“R-Raven, I'm so sorry,” she rasped, finding difficulty in speaking with the steel against her jugular.

“Shh, shh Una, don’t speak. You’re okay, yeah? You’re fine, you’re going to get out of this, okay? You’ll be alright,” you tried to reassure her as much as you could, but you knew she was scared. You could tell by the way her hands shook by her sides, her eyes squeezed shut. Fuck, this had not gone to plan.

Turning back to Erwin, your voice lowered to a snarl.

“Alright. What do you want? I won’t ask again,” the arrival of another soldier briefly held your attention, faintly acknowledging him as the one you fought earlier. Your jaw tensed as he landed next to the Commander, his face still shrouded in shadow by his hood. You felt a sick satisfaction in knowing that the inevitable bruise blossoming under his chin was from your fight earlier. But he didn’t seem bothered by it.

Annoyingly.

“I’m sure you’ve guessed what we want by now, but I’ll tell you anyway. We want to take you with us, back to the surface, where you will atone for your crimes. In return, we will release this girl and allow the rest of your gang to go free,” it was an incredibly good deal for you, the only issue being…

You die.

The image of your wife danced behind your eyes as you closed them. She was right. You’d been captured.

But a strange calm settled over you. Maybe you could see him again. You’d finally be reunited and free of this world’s filth.

“Alright,” there was almost no hesitation to your answer. Something that caused Una to cry out.

“NO! Raven you can’t! They’ll kill you! Get the hell out of here, I'm not this important!” she attempted to bargain with you, only resulting in that blade pressed closer to her throat.

“DON’T!” you shouted, your voice now breaking ever so slightly. “Please… let her go.” slowly, your hands came up to your masked helmet. Removing it, you allowed the reveal to settle over the soldiers around you.

The leader of The Nest was a woman.

The shock was always something you revelled in. Of course, under normal circumstances, a venomous smile would crawl across your face.

But not this time.

Levi had completely frozen. Eyes wide, mouth parted in shock. His heart was a sick amalgamation of sheer joy and utter terror. Though your face had changed slightly with age, he’d recognise those eyes anywhere. They were harsher than before. Colder. No longer the eyes of a softer, young girl, but those of a savage, hardened killer. But it was you. You were here, in front of him. You were alive.

And he’d knee'd you in the face.

“RAVEN DON’T.” Una knew it was already too late. Your face had been revealed. There was no turning back now. Tossing your helmet to the side, you turned back to face the trio now in front of you. The woman who had pulled the trigger on whatever trap they’d set was now staring at you almost in awe. Erwin’s expression too seemed surprised, but it was the expression of the shorter man next to him that caught your attention. He seemed frozen solid, unmoving. You tried to catch a glimpse of his face beneath his hood, but that only provoked him to shadow it further.

“Let her go. Let them all go,” your voice had dropped significantly, though your eyes still held that steely determination. Staring up at Erwin, you watched as he nodded his head for Una to be released. Raising your hands to show you had nothing up your sleeves, you slowly walked over to her form sprawled out on the floor, head refusing to rise and look at you.

“Raven… I—“

“It’s alright, Una. It’s alright,” you cooed, gently lifting her chin to look at you, her hood still hanging low across her face, her features stayed hidden throughout everything. “This wasn’t your fault. None of this, was your fault, okay? We were betrayed, and I'm pretty sure that wasn’t you,” you chuckled gently, trying to lessen the tension.

Still, you could see the slivers of silver lining her eyes in the low light, tears of guilt welling up. “Hey, listen to me. You’re going to be okay. You’re all going to be okay. We prepared for this, didn’t we? We knew this might happen someday,” your voice was soft as you spoke to her, as if you were simply trying to comfort a child after a nightmare.

Helping her to her feet, you reached for your mask, lifting it from the floor and placing it in her hands. Her breath hitched in her throat as her eyes widened.

Una knew the significance of this.

“Give it to Prongs. Tell him I’m sorry it wasn’t quite the ceremony we would have wanted. Tell him to look after them for me. Look after her, for me,” taking a step back, you fisted your hands to stop yourself from tearing up, eyes trained on the ground. “I’m so sorry,” you whisper, before raising your head. “Now go. Get the fuck out of here.” your commanding tone returned, giving your last order as the leader of The Nest.

Levi’s heart clenched at the exchange unfolding before him. Though your appearance may have changed, you were still as soft as ever. He’d tilted his head down at your gaze, fearful of your reaction when you’d figure out who he was. How this would look. Him, in all his ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’ glory, and you, the Underground’s most dangerous criminal. He wouldn’t be able to stand the flash of betrayal he knew he’d see in those familiar eyes.

Unable to stop your heart shattering as Una turned and ran, you took a breath. Raising your hands once again, you allowed soldiers to pull each arm out by your side as they began searching your body for weapons. You always made a habit of bringing a ridiculous amount of knives and blades with you on every job. And this was no different.

“That was honourable of you, Raven,” Erwin was the first to speak, though the title now made you scoff. You wouldn’t tell them your name, not yet anyway.

One of the soldiers patting you down was forced to gesture to a friend, her own hands now full of your various weaponry. And that was only your belt. You flicked your eyes to the three in front of you. The woman looked like she was going to burst any second.

“THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! Sorry, I couldn’t contain myself any longer. The way you dodged that trap was unlike anything I’ve ever seen! It was AMAZING! Who taught you to do that? The name’s Hange, by the way. Hange Zoë, science and titan enthusiast. I’d shake your hand but you seem to be a little tied up at the moment!”

The sudden explosion of excitement caught you off guard, your expression turning to one of sheer incredulous confusion, before realising you’d probably have to listen to her babbling throughout your entire journey back.

“I didn’t know you were going to torture me. Just kill me now,” you huffed sarcastically, expression darkening as soldiers roughly pulled your arms behind your back, clasping them in manacles after making sure all weapons were removed from your legs, your expression unchanging.

But that didn’t seem to deter the scientist. If anything, she found your attitude amusing.

“Wow! Levi, she’s just like you! Is everyone from the Underground so unapproachable?” she asked cheerily as the two soldiers holding your arms began to steer you away. But you refused to move. Levi too seemed stuck to the spot.

Everything went still, and it was as if nothing else existed but the two of you.

Ever so slowly, Levi pulled down his hood, revealing those dark bangs you remembered so clearly. Silvery blue eyes met (E/C) ones. It wasn’t quite the reunion either of you were expecting, but you were both here. Alive

“Levi…” you whispered after refinding your voice, torn between wanting to run to him and running away from him. Fear clung to your heart, knowing how much he would hate you for what you’d become.

Levi schooled his expression back to neutrality as Hange looked between the two of you.

“Do you two… know each other?!?!” Hange’s beam of excitement caused him to cringe internally. Looking you up and down, the raven haired man raised a thin eyebrow in what looked like disgust.

“Tch, no.”

Well, that wasn’t what you were expecting. You blinked in surprise, eyes narrowing to your previous lover, trying to mask your hurt. Maybe he didn’t remember you? But with the look of recognition in his stormy eyes, you swiftly ruled out that possibility. What you’d feared all these years had finally come to fruition. You’d found him again.

And he despised you.

Levi turned on his heel, stalking away from you as the two MPs tugged on your arm, finally prompting you to move. He didn’t think his heart could shatter much more. After losing his mother, his family, his home.

You.

He didn’t think he had the ability to break any further. But life clearly thrilled in proving him wrong.

꧁⎈꧂

The walk back to the surface was agonising. Both of you stealing glances at one another at every opportunity. His, masked with indifferent contempt, your’s overflowing with betrayal and rage.

How could he stand there and say the two of you didn’t know each other? As if you hadn’t been in a relationship for years. As if he didn’t know every little thing about you. As if you hadn’t shared his bed, moaning in ecstasy as he pried you thighs open, burying his tongue, his fingers or his length between your aching folds. As if you hadn’t heard every whimper and groan he could make, coercing them from his throat as you swirl your tongue around the head of his cock. As if you hadn’t been the one to finally hear those three words you never thought he could say. As if they weren’t directed at you.

Great, now you were angry and aroused.

Dragging your eyes away from him, you focussed on the long street ahead of you, now failing to notice the way his expression shifted slightly as he looked in your direction.

As you walked, more and more civilians stepped out of their homes to watch, many of them nodding their heads in respect, or removing their hats in mourning. You return their gestures, refusing to let your head bow as you dip your chin in recognition.

Levi could do nothing but observe the strange reactions from the swiftly gathering crowds. Some of them even shout to you.

“We owe you, Raven!”

“Give those fuckers hell!”

“Don’t let them take you lying down!”

You chuckled in response, both a sound and expression he’d missed so dearly. It made those long dead butterflies flutter once again in his stomach.

Even more so when a little kid approached you.

“Miss Raven… Why are there soldiers everywhere?”

Your eyes softened to the grubby little girl, crouching down where you stood, much to your escort’s dismay.

“They’re here to make sure little squirts like you listen to your mommy and daddy and go to bed on time,” the kid squealed in delight in your words. You lamented your hands not being free, the temptation to tickle the little tyke almost overwhelming, making your wrists squirm in their restraints.

“Hey, get the fuck out of here, stupid kid,” the soldier to your left delivered a harsh kick to the child’s side, sending her sprawling to the floor and out of your way. You don’t think anything could have brought you more rage. Not even your ex’s indifference to your existence.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” standing swiftly to your feet, you glowered dangerously into the MPs surprised eyes, now struggling in his grip as the kid started to cry. “She’s just a kid, you foul mouthed, pig eyed, vile piece of shit,” if it wasn’t for your circumstances and situation, Levi would have laughed at your insults. Clearly you’d broadened your vocabulary since the last time he’d seen you.

It was only when you’d managed to deliver a harsh, bone cracking kick to the soldier’s kneecap did Levi decide he should probably intervene, as much as he’d originally intended to stay away from you.

Something he subconsciously didn’t want to do.

“Oi, move along. I’ll deal with her, fucking degenerates,” his sharp voice cut through the commotion, causing the soldiers to stop in their tracks and whirl around.

“Captain Levi, sir! We were just—”

“I don’t care. Go.” he ordered. If they were Scouts, they wouldn’t have dared to hesitate, but since they weren’t a part of his regiment, it took them a moment for the order to register in their small minds, before they scurried away.

As soon as your arms were free of their grip, you immediately rushed to the little girl’s side, cooing gentle reassurance.

“Hey, come on now, you gotta be brave, yeah? You can’t cry every time a pig like that gets the better of you. Hell, then I’d never stop crying,” your little joke stopped the kid’s sobbing. Clearly your reputation extended even to the children of the Underground. “Where’re your parents, kid? Where’s your mom?” you asked, ignoring the obvious gaze burning a hole in the back of your head.

The little girl sniffled, pointing back to the head of a worried looking young woman, searching frantically for her little girl. A soft smile graced your lips, before you gently gestured for the girl to run along back to her mother, that smile growing as you watched her scamper off and giggle slightly as she was reprimanded in a giant bear hug.

“You haven’t changed, have you?” Levi’s cold voice brought you back to reality, prompting you to rise back up to your feet.

“Thought you didn’t know me,” there was none of that friendly familiarity he’d seen in your eyes earlier. There was only cold, ruthless ice. He shivered despite himself.

Softening his own gaze as you turned your head to him, he could recognise that spark of hatred. He’d seen it so many times when you faced down some sort of oaf who’d decided you were easy pickings back when the two of you were teenagers. He suddenly felt a pang of pity for all those who had suffered under this glare.

It was indeed terrifying.

“(Y/N)—”

“Don’t fucking call me that. You don’t get to call me that,” you didn’t try to tame the loathing fury in your tone. You didn’t pretend you didn’t revel in that confused look in his eye. Good, let him be confused. Though you didn’t know why. He should know well enough why you were furious.

“Okay…” —Levi took a breath— “Okay. Raven, then. That’s your alias, isn’t it. Raven?” He didn’t know why he was asking you such an obvious question, but he couldn’t help it. He had a craving just to hear your voice. The same voice that had haunted him for years, the same voice that had awoken him from the few hours he would be able to sleep.

Still, where his tone had lowered, yours refused to. How dare he show up after all these years and then claim he didn’t even know you.

“Obviously,” you spat, pure venom lacing your tone.

“So this is where you went. This is what you did. You were a part of The Nest this entire time and you didn’t think to tell me?” it was his turn to spit, clearly whatever had caused his gaze to soften previously had been replaced by something you couldn’t quite place. You weren’t as good at reading him as you used to be. His face had changed with time, and he’d clearly learned to school his expression much better than he used to.

“So what if it was? You don’t know me, remember?” you couldn’t help but use his words against him, wanting to drive home how much it had fucking hurt. Your eyes flickered to the now blackened bruise on the underside of his stupidly chiseled jaw. Something ugly twisted in your gut, whether it was satisfaction or guilt, you couldn’t decipher.

As if in retaliation, his own eyes glanced at the almost matching mark on your chin, the same mixture of emotions flashing briefly in his eyes before he took hold of your arm. It wasn’t as rough as you would have expected, but if anything, that simply annoyed you more.

“Tch, just move already,” the two of you had started to draw more attention to your conversation than either of you would have liked. So reluctantly, you placed on foot in front of the other and started walking again, returning back to acknowledging and recognising the respect those gathered were giving you. You remembered everyone you’d helped. Bringing them food, water, medical supplies.

“RAVEN!!” A loud shout of your alias had your head whirling to the right, searching for the owner of the voice. “RAVEN?!?” a small, older woman pushed her way through the people, almost falling to your feet. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she looked up at you.

You recognised her as one of your regulars. Her son had fallen ill months ago, and needed a medicine the MPs refused to hand out if not for a hefty sum of money. You’d offered your services to her after seeing her begging in the street, the sight hauntingly familiar to you. “I… I wanted to thank you. For everything you’ve done for me. For my son. He— I fear he wouldn’t be alive today without your help,” the woman hiccuped through her gratitude, drying her eyes with a worn, stained handkerchief. Your expression shifted to one of gentle indifference. You wouldn’t make the same mistake of outwardly showing your caring side like you did with the little girl.

“Make sure he stays rested,” was all you said, before continuing on without the prompting of Levi behind you, who now stood still in mild shock. Watching as many placed a hand on your shoulder as you walked, your head still held high.

“I don’t know what you men plan on doing with her, but she’s only ever helped us. She’s a good person,” the older woman’s eyes only spoke the truth as she looked to Levi, who only glanced back at you in response, watching as you climbed the stairs.

“I know. She always was.”

You stopped and turned back before you left for good, eyes lingering down the crowded street, a thousand faces peering up at you. Hats in hands, hands folded over one another in mourning. You recognized that with your leaving, a lot of people will go hungry. Many will die of diseases or viruses without the medicine you could steal and distribute. You knew Prongs was good, but he didn’t quite command that same kind of respect you did.

With a final nod of your head towards the crowd’s respect, you turned and left the Underground, leaving your past along with it.

#levi aot #levi attack on titan #captain levi #snk levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot x you #snk fanfiction #snk #levi smut #levi ackerman smut

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palimpsessed · 4 years ago

Note

Please please please could you talk about this parallel internal monologue—what are your thoughts?

BAZ

I kiss him back, squarely. Firmly. Matter-of-factly. You’re all I want, I think. And you can have everything you need.”

“I’m not sure what he’s telling me with this kiss. I pretend it’s Yes and Yes and Be kind to me.”

SIMON

“Fine, you fucker. Have me. Just have me. Do your worst, you stubborn twat. Be the death of me. You’ll be the death of me.”

Oh ho ho, my dear Anon. Of course I will talk about this part!!! What a meaty passage to sink my teeth into.

To put things as simply as possible, the juxtaposition we see between these two sections is the perfect encapsulation of the different ways Simon and Baz express and receive love.

Let's start by taking a look at Baz's piece, as it does come first. (Read that sentence out of context, I dare ya.)

At this point in the book, Baz and Simon have just had one of the most critical relationship-building conversations thus far. Simon has set boundaries about magic being cast on his body that Baz has agreed to. They've talked about Lamb and America and settled that matter for good. Baz has managed to lasso Simon with own tail and proceeded to do some very interesting things to it. (I'm going to do my best not to get distracted by that, but, Anon, if you know anything about me, you'll know what an absolutely monumental struggle that is.) Simon has asked Baz to be less kind to him and Baz has delivered, as only Baz can, one of the most romantic lines in the entire trilogy: "I can touch you less gently, but I won't love you less kindly."

And that leads me neatly to my first point: Baz wants to be gentle and kind with Simon, because that's what he thinks Simon needs and deserves. Gentleness and kindness are what Baz wants from Simon. That's how he thinks love should be. They've both seen and done horrible things, and he believes their love should offer a solace from all of that.

(That offering of solace is a theme throughout AWTWB. Slightly off topic, we see their bed become more and more such a sanctuary—perhaps the only place where the troubles of the outside world cannot reach them. @theflyingpeach has shared some beautiful thoughts on the bed's symbolism—their own Eden/paradise and a place where they help one another lay aside the burdens that could otherwise separate them. I've remarked before that Baz's childhood bedroom serves as a kind of refuge for them in CO in the midst of some truly steep trauma, so it was really lovely to see this kind of idea brought forward and deepened and expanded on in AWTWB in this way.)

Baz wants to give Simon kindness, safety, gentleness—three things he's been sorely deprived of in his life. When Simon is beside himself because Baz makes him a sandwich the way he likes, Baz responds internally with: "As if I wouldn't make the world spin backwards if I thought he'd like it better that way." Baz would give Simon anything, would do anything to make him happy. Baz wants to be a kind, caring, thoughtful boyfriend to the love of his life—who he knows is struggling with trauma and self-worth. All the while, Baz himself is also struggling big time with trauma and self-worth. (It's almost like they match.) It feels pretty logical that someone in Baz's place would look at Simon's struggle and wish to be soft and gentle—especially basing this logic on how he feels. He asks Simon to be gentle with him their first time together. Maybe that's because it's Baz's first time. Maybe that's because he wants to feel fragile instead of being reminded that he's an indestructible vampire. Maybe that's because gentle is just what he wants. Maybe it's all of the above. In this case, the reason isn't really important, but the fact that it's what Baz needs is. If it's how Baz needs to receive love, then it follows it's how he would give love. (Rainbow tagged a post about AWTWB shortly before the book was released with the Beatles' lyric: "and in end, the love you take is equal to the love you make". I don’t think that was by chance.)

All this is to say that the conversation Simon and Baz have before the parallel passages in question reveals that Simon isn't comfortable receiving love in this same way. He doesn't want gentle and kind and soft because he doesn't know how to process feelings like that. I'm going to do something different and tag the @youhearbiggirls podcast whose July 29 episode talked about this in a really great way (at 26:20)—including discussion of a message from Rainbow's now-deleted Twitter account. I was so happy to hear that old tweet being talked about, because I thought it was really great and was sad it was lost when Rainbow deleted her account. And! Because they mentioned the date of the tweet and people and the search function on discord are awesome, I was able to locate a screenshot someone shared!

The takeaway here is that Simon isn't programmed to accept love and kindness from others. His brain and his body have been conditioned for violence and fight or flight by trauma. He doesn't know how to accept or process good feelings and sensations, because to him, those sensations actually feel bad. They're foreign, and therefore frightening to him. That's why he feels like he has to flee when he's being physical with Baz—or, rather, I think, when Baz is trying to be physical with him. This is what Simon is attempting to express when he tells Baz that he doesn't "like that feeling. That, like, feathery feeling. Like, touch me or don't—but don't, like, whisper on me." Simon takes a huge step forward when he's able to finally verbalize this to Baz—it also goes a long way to allowing them to be physically intimate.

Baz's half of the parallel passage addresses this directly: "I kiss him back, squarely. Firmly. Matter-of-factly." This is Baz consciously making an adjustment in how he treats Simon to better give him the kind of love that Simon needs, the kind of love he asked for. His thoughts here reinforce this. "You're all I want" he tells Simon in his head, and he means it.

He understands much more about Simon now. He's seen more of who Simon is. And he still loves him. Simon—all of Simon—is still the only person Baz wants. "And you can have everything you need", Baz promises Simon. He's going to give Simon the kind of love and affection that Simon has asked for. He's going to be firm. He's going to kiss him squarely on the mouth, not softly. He's going to be direct and he's not going to let himself be scared or timid or shy away. Simon needs boldness and bravery and unequivocation. Baz is up to the task, and this is his way of showing that to Simon.

And then…! "I'm not sure what he's telling me with this kiss. I pretend it's Yes and Yes and Be kind to me."—Be kind to me.—Baz has admitted that he's "more used to guessing what Simon is thinking—what he's feeling, what he wants." He's once more trying to fill in those gaps in his mind, except this time, he actually understands Simon. They've finally gotten to a place where Simon is speaking for himself and Baz doesn't have to guess. The kiss comes immediately after Simon asks Baz to be less kind, and Baz has refused on the basis that it is exactly the opposite of what Simon needs, even if Simon doesn't see it that way. While Baz is kissing Simon—firmly, squarely, not in a new way, but definitely in a way he hasn't for a while—Baz is hoping that Simon will feel differently. That he'll feel good enough and safe enough with Baz to not only accept kindness, but to ask for it. To understand and internalize his need for kindness, and then to be able to accept it from Baz. For Simon, accepting kindness is being vulnerable, and as much as he loves Baz, he's not yet at a place where he feels safe and settled. He convinced himself early on that there was no security in their relationship, and he doesn't yet trust any security in his life—it's not something he's had to count on. So for Simon to ask Baz with his kiss to "be kind" would be monumental—it would be him undoing a lifetime of programming for violence and giving himself fully into their relationship and their future together.

Of course, we know what Simon is really telling Baz with his kiss. Onward to part two!

"You're all I want," Baz says, trying to convince Simon not to be jealous of Lamb. "Fine, you fucker. Have me. Just have me" then serves as Simon's response. In fact, this whole section seems to be in conversation with Baz—but more so the reconciliation scene than their preceding conversation.

Let's take a little trip back to Chapter 16. "If we do this", Baz says then of getting back together—of Simon trying—"I want the full Simon Snow treatment…I want the locked jaw. The squinty eyes. The shoulders." (I mean, same, Baz.) "I want you to slay a dragon before you give up on me, do you understand?...I want you to try everything before you give up on us again." If we start here, then I think we can trace these threads through directly to what Simon is thinking when he kisses Baz.

Baz wants the full Simon Snow treatment? "Fine", Simon says, "Have me. Just have me." Baz wants him to fight and "try everything" before he gives up? "Do your worst" is Simon's answer. "I thought you'd go down fighting if you believed in something…" Baz says. So, Simon responds with: "Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me." The kiss in Chapter 32 then becomes a rebuttal of sorts. It's Simon's closing argument. He's opened himself up to Baz and told him what he needs. He's "Use[d his] words" and now he's using his mouth the way he's most comfortable—kissing Baz. Kissing him fiercely and telling him everything he's feeling with it. More than that, it's his way of showing Baz—not just telling him—that he's going to keep his word. He's going to try now, and this is him trying for Baz. This is him meeting every challenge, every demand that Baz issued, and slaying them like dragons. He's going to fight, he's going to give his all, he's going to risk everything to make his relationship with Baz work this time. Simon asking Baz for what he needs was a major victory in his ongoing battle with insecurity and I think he's feeling buoyed by that, a swell of confidence that comes through in the fierceness of his thoughts.

I'd like to spend a little more time with the last line: "Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me." Let's look at this in terms of what we know of Simon. He needs fierceness, passion, violence to feel comfortable.

Both Simon and Baz are all or nothing in the way they think about each other and the love they feel, but I think we're seeing something else with Simon's "Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me." The first time he tells Baz that he loves him, Baz is shocked. He truly doesn’t believe that Simon is in love with him, and when he questions it, Simon's reasoning is: "I've killed so many things for you." And when Simon is facing off with the goblin, he lets the goblin get close because "The Mage taught me that sometimes the best way to get under someone's guard is to let them close." If violence is what Simon knows and understands, if that's what's comfortable to him, then it makes sense these are the terms in which Simon views everything, including his relationship with Baz. From his earliest moments under the Mage's control, Simon learned to think of himself as expendable. He was the Chosen One, a weapon, a blade to be kept sharp. He internalized the idea that he wouldn't live through the war and the Humdrum—he said "I’ll fight until I can't anymore". He spends most of his childhood with the belief that the greatest thing he will ever do is die—fall in battle saving the world. His highest aspiration in life is to sacrifice himself for the people he loves. I think this is at the heart of what he's thinking during that kiss with Baz: the way he knows best to prove his love to Baz is to offer him his life—"Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me."

I don't think Simon’s moved passed this way of thinking about himself & the price he thinks he has to pay to prove his love. (Further underscoring this, Baz tells him to “slay a dragon” and Simon is—probably—a dragon...) But I think this is so much of who Simon is at his core, beyond the manipulation he suffered at the Mage's hands, that he'll always play the hero because it's inherent to his nature. He does put himself into harm's way & lies to Baz to protect him. The good part in all this is that living a life of peace with Baz will present far fewer chances for Simon to put his life on the line in order to prove himself, and finally, someday, he'll realize that he doesn't have anything to prove. Until then, he'll keep trying for Baz in the best way he knows how.

Thanks so much for this ask!

As ever, if anyone has thoughts to add or other questions to ask, please do send them along. 😘

#asks #awtwb spoilers

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